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#hello new favorite au
theanoninyourinbox · 8 months
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The Healing and Oracular Roles in the New Longstar AU
The Healer
Healers are the doctors and nurses of the clans, keeping everyone healthy.  They know what herb treats each kind of illness, and how to tell if someone is pregnant.  Healers keep a den of herbs, fresh or dry or powdered, and usually spend their days treating patients and keeping everything organized.  Some Warriors scoff at seeing their Healers sunbathing, but many Healers are overworked and need a break.  Not every scrape deserves all the drama of a broken bone.  Healers are encouraged to not take mates or have kits, but it being a rule is beginning to change…
The Seer
Seers are in touch with the Stars themselves, eyes lined with stardust and possibilities.  They can see signs in the smallest of places, speak to the dead (both Geist and Star-Guide), and know the future through cryptic Prophecies.  Many Seers are also trained to be Healers, making up the role -The Oracular Healer-, but rarely a Seer will be in a different role altogether.  There are old tales of a Tracker Seer who Saw a fox attack and prevented it, but nowadays most Seers are forced into Healer or Support roles, like Herbalist or Historian.  That may change in the future, as a new role is emerging…
The Therapist Healer
Therapists are healers of the mind, seeking to understand how trauma shapes a cat, and how to help them heal.  Pioneered by Thunderclan’s Darkmoon, all the clans are now trying this new role out, to some extent. The elders may quibble and bemoan how in their day you just Got Over It, but seeing as some of them still shake at the sight of a spiked collar or the sound of a dog howling, they are very wrong.
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just-bendy · 2 years
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just-bendy is back in business!
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(( now that i've set up CSP on my new laptop, I'll finally be able to answer asks!
i'll reopen the ask box later with a MINI EVENT! please be kind to the two characters that'll be the focus of the mini event
thanks to the people who have been waiting patiently! 😊💜 ))
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pikos-den · 11 months
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im so sorry to my cotl followers, i might end up in among us phase part 2
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stllmnstr · 2 months
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every fragile thing
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pairing: park sunghoon x f reader
genre: enemies to lovers, figure skating au, college/university au
word count: 12.3k
warnings: alcohol consumption, jealousy, non graphic descriptions/depictions of injuries, use of the american (usa) university system, a kiss or five
soundtrack: get him back! / brutal / jealousy, jealousy / good 4 u / the grudge / bad idea right? / drivers license - olivia rodrigo
After an ankle injury lands you in mandated physical therapy sessions instead of on the ice where you should be training for nationals, you're absolutely certain you must be the most frustrated, emotionally volatile figure skater on the planet. Park Sunghoon proves you wrong.
or,
every fragile thing has one of two choices: become stronger or shatter into a million pieces.
note: hi hello yes this is me on a new blog with the same name. I deleted my old one and wasn't sure if I planned on remaking/reposting but here we are! if you've read this before, then I hope you enjoy just as much this time around. and if you haven't, I hope you love figure skater sunghoon just as much as I do! happy reading ♡
Silence. One word, two syllables. A fairly straightforward term with a meaning that can be easily deduced from a quick scan of its Merriam-Webster definition. 
But unlike many words, silence is one that’s typically learned through experience. Through stilted moments, pregnant pauses, dreamlike moments in the dead of night while the world around you is at a standstill. 
In the moments just before the music starts, when it feels as if the audience around you is holding their breath. And you stand at the center of it all, blades of your tightly laced skates against ice, chest rising and falling in time with your heartbeat, mind spinning with possibility. In those moments, your long trained muscles take over, following the memory of countless repetitions as your body prepares to do what it knows best. 
There’s a question in that silence. One that’s asked with baited breath. 
Will I land this skill? Will I go home with a medal around my neck, cold weight a familiar comfort against my skin? Will this be my best performance yet? Will they love it? Love me?
That, as you’ve come to learn, is your favorite kind of silence. The kind that’s filled with endless possibility, with the promise of something beautiful or disastrous or some odd mix of the two to come. 
The feeling of freedom, of flying as blade cuts through ice, as your body defies gravity with every jump, every spin. 
But that is very much not the kind of silence that greets you where Dr. Min eyes you warily over the top of his pristine clipboard, a crease forming between his dark eyebrows. Frowning, he glances at the paper once more before returning his gaze to you. 
“You’re sure you’ve been resting? No weight on the fracture at all?”
It takes a good chunk of your willpower not to roll your eyes. Mostly because you’re lying through your teeth, but who’s keeping track? 
“Yes, I’m sure.” Gesturing to the thick black boot the lower part of your left leg and foot have been imprisoned in for the better part of a month, you add, “This thing’s still coming off in two weeks, right?”
Two weeks is pushing it, but you’ve done more with less. Two weeks puts you exactly three months out from regionals, which gives you exactly ninety-one days to pull together the most jaw dropping program you or the judges have ever seen. One that’s certain to land you on the podium and secure a spot at nationals. 
Once again, you thank your lucky stars for Coach Lee. She’s been with you since you were still struggling to lace your own skates, and there’s no one else you’d trust to have you ready for regionals in such a short time frame. No one else you’d bet your fate on like this. 
“That was our original time frame, yes…” Dr. Min trails off, avoiding your gaze in a way that has your stomach dropping unpleasantly. 
“And we’ll be sticking to it, I’m sure.” You hate the way the end of your phrase turns up like a question. 
Dr. Min sighs. “Look, ___, our original time frame was ambitious to begin with, and I hate to tell you this, but your ankle is not healing as well as we’d hoped. Fractures don’t heal overnight, and the best thing for you right now is rest.” 
The argument is already forming on your tongue. “But—”
“I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m not trying to ruin your life, ___. Truly. I’m saying this to you as the parent of an athlete and a former athlete myself. Pushing yourself now will only lead to reinjury in the future and will also very likely shorten your career. Your ankle needs to heal before you skate on it again. It needs to heal before you so much as put weight on it. And you need to let it heal completely.” The sincerity in his voice is hard to stomach when he says, “Believe me when I tell you that you’ll regret it for the rest of life if you don’t.”
And logically, you know he’s right. Know that this will be nothing but a minor setback if you allow it to run its course. If you follow his advice to rest and heal. But skating has never been something you’ve done with the logical parts of yourself. And Dr. Min doesn’t get it. You tell him as much. “You don’t understand what you’re asking me to do. Regionals are in less than four months, and—”
“I hear you. Believe me, I do. But this is your third year of university, which means you have another shot at nationals next year. If you push it and try to skate before you’re ready, you may very well lose that chance too.”
“So I’m supposed to do what? Sit around and do nothing until my ankle decides to cooperate?” Even voicing the possibility has you suppressing a grimace. 
But Dr. Min has different thoughts. “Yes. That is exactly what you need to do.”
You don’t avert your gaze. Neither does he. Finally, after a moment, he sighs. “My recommendation at this point is still rest, but—”
“But?” Your excitement is impossible to contain fully. 
Dr. Min levels you with a cautionary look over his clipboard. “But, if you’re going to do anything, our athletics department does also run a physical therapy program, which I think could be beneficial. It would help to retain flexibility, mobility, and agility in the areas of your leg that support your ankle. It could help get you back on the ice faster and maintain the leg strength you’ve built. There’s a group session that runs on Tuesday afternoons—”
“Yes,” you nod, not bothering to hear the end of his statement. “Yes, I’ll do that.”
“I… okay.” As much as you want to hate him for it, Dr. Min has a point. And while you doubt physical therapy will be anywhere near as grueling as your usual workouts, it sounds a hell of a lot better than doing nothing. 
You’ve never liked hospitals. The odd juxtaposition of white, lifeless sterility and a culmination of some of life’s most painful moments has always left an unpleasant taste on your tongue. 
It’s one that has you double checking the address Dr. Min forwarded to you as you enter the oddly cheerful building that is apparently home to a renowned athletics physical therapy facility. Despite the medical purpose, there’s a distinct liveliness that envelops the space. 
The woman at reception informs you that this is indeed the right building and the session you’re attending has just begun in the room to your left. 
Pausing at the door, you’re struck with a sudden timidness. A physical therapy group for athletes will obviously be filled with, well, athletes. And although you can’t speak too harshly on that particular subsect of people, being one yourself, they can be intimidating. It must be the competitiveness, you think. The drive to push, succeed, win that gives off such a distinct aura.
Steeling yourself with one last breath, you remind yourself that’s why you’re here. To get back to that version of you that has everyone else feeling a little shier. That version of you that eats, breathes, and sleeps with ice skates laced on your feet and visions of the top of a podium driving your every decision. 
With determination straightening your brow, you push open the door. 
And immediately find yourself grateful for the mental preparation as three heads snap in your direction.  
Hitching your bag up an inch on your shoulder, you try not to melt under the sudden awkwardness. Thankfully, one of them is better at breaking ice than you.
“Hi,” the boy closest to you is the first to fill the silence. He’s all smiles where he gives you a friendly wave, moving a stray hair out of his eyes with a flick of his head as he tells you, “I’m Jungwon.”
You offer your name in return, trying on a smile to match his friendliness. You have a feeling it comes more naturally to him than it ever will to you, though. 
Regardless, he offers an equally cheerful, “Nice to meet you.” Glancing over to where the second boy is moving through a series of stretches, Jungwon makes eye contact, silently telling him he’s up next. 
Even mid-stretch, he acquiesces. “I’m Niki,” the second boy follows. 
“And I’m Jake.” The last boy doesn’t need any prompting from Jungwon. Nodding towards the walking boot that covers the bottom half of your left leg, he glances at a similar one that he wears on his own. “Looks like we’re twins. Tore up my achilles pretty bad in my last soccer match,” he explains. “What about you?”
“Fractured my ankle,” you return, a rueful smile dragging your lips up. “Figure skater.”
“Ah, man.” Jungwon winces. “That sucks.”
You shrug, forcing a nonchalance you don’t feel. “No worse than a busted achilles.” 
“That’s cool that you skate though,” Jake offers. “Kind of a funny coincidence, actually. There’s another—”
Whatever it is, he doesn’t get to finish the thought. At that moment, the door opens again, this time revealing a middle aged woman in a white physician’s coat. Her name tag reads Dr. Kim, and she introduces herself as such to you. 
“Looks like everyone’s here, including our new members.” She gives another cursory nod in your direction. “Welcome again.” Glancing around, the instructor pauses. “Oh, wait. Except for—”
“I’m here, I’m here.” For the second time in the span of a minute, the door behind you opens. You don’t miss the glance that passes between Niki and Jake. You turn to face the new arrival, but his back is to you as he sets his bag down and begins the process of switching his shoes. 
The way the new member enters with a dismissive wave of his hand and lack of proper greeting has you thinking tardiness is not an uncommon trait of his. Even from behind, you can feel the waves of arrogance he exudes. That seems to align more with your preconceived notions of athletes. 
Studying him for another second, a sinking feeling of dread begins to build in the pit of your stomach. Long, dark hair. Unnaturally graceful movements, even if all he’s doing is digging through his bag. Tall stature, broad shoulders, long legs. 
An athlete’s build through and through. Perfectly suited for the ice. 
“Great.” Despite the statement, Dr. Kim’s tone is flat. “Well, we were just getting started and introducing ourselves since we have someone new joining us today.”
“Hi,” he offers, still fixated on his bag, yet to offer as much as a glance in your direction. If anything, it only serves as a confirmation of his identity. “I’m—” You don’t even need to hear him say it. 
“Sunghoon?”
At that, he does finally look up. 
Gaze locking with yours, a moment of confusion is quickly replaced by a furrow in his brow, the slight downturn of his lips. He’s not thrilled to see you either. 
A beat passes. 
Two. 
Neither of you break eye contact. 
The silence extends to the point of discomfort for all four onlookers, each of them hesitant to break the tension that’s rising by the second. 
Finally, Dr. Kim takes a knife to the tension. “Do you two know each other?” 
Park Sunghoon. Renowned figure skater at your rival university. Someone with such a natural knack for carving lines through ice that whispers of prodigy have been shadowing his footsteps since the minute he put them on a rink. 
Someone with his head so far up his own ass you’re not sure how he can see half the time, much less keep his hair looking so perfect. 
Oh, you know him alright. 
“___?”
And it would seem he remembers you as well. 
It also answers Dr. Kim’s question well enough. 
“Ah, good.” It sounds like a question, like she’s hoping your acquaintance will be a positive thing instead of a disaster. You don’t have the heart to tell her otherwise. “The figure skating community is tight knit, I suppose.”
You suppress a scoff. That’s one word for it, you guess. 
You remember when it felt that way to you, too. Before tight knit became too small. Back before university, when it felt like it was you and Park Sunghoon against the world, instead of against each other. Back when the two of you didn’t skate for opposing teams but instead were members of the same club. A time when you took the ice together, skated as partners until he—
You force your thoughts to stop in their tracks. Your blood pressure has spiked enough in the last few days, and thinking back on long days spent with Park Sunghoon will only send it skyrocketing again. 
If anything, you’ll use this opportunity to practice perfecting your poker face for when you inevitably run into him at future competitions. 
And future competitions means you need a healed ankle, not a bruised ego. And certainly not an unpleasant trip down memory lane. 
Turning away from Sunghoon, you’re the first one to answer when Dr. Kim asks if you’re ready to get started. 
“Yes,” you tell her, determination written across your brow, in the set of your shoulders, and perhaps most noticeably, in the way you avoid Sunghoon’s wandering gaze for the next two hours. 
Without the rink, days are quick to meld into one another. It may be concerning, considering that you still have a set schedule of classes and homework to follow, but your life has revolved around training for so long that it’s hard to tell Mondays from Wednesdays without a set practice schedule. 
Thankfully, you do still make it back to the clinic at the right time on the right day, this time for another session with Dr. Kim and your fellow band of broken athletes. 
Including him. 
Aside from the glaringly obvious exception, you’re not as bothered at the thought of returning as you feared you might be. 
Jungwon, Niki, and Jake have proven themself pleasant enough company, and Dr. Kim seems to have built an understanding of how difficult it is to be forcibly removed from the sport you love. As such, she’s one of the least aggravating medical professionals you’ve spent time around. 
“Hey,” Niki greets when you arrive. “Did you have a good weekend?”
You shrug. “Good enough. Mostly just catching up on homework.” Setting your bag down and switching out your shoes, you join him on the mat, beginning the series of warm-up stretches Dr. Kim instructed you through last week. “What about you?”
“Not too bad. I got some good news from my doctor, actually.” He switches legs in his stretch, and you’re almost envious of his flexibility. He’s a dancer, and an exceedingly good one at that. One with an unfortunate knee injury at the moment. “My x-rays are looking a lot better. He thinks I might be able to start easing back into regular use by next month.” 
“That’s great,” you smile, even as a pang of jealousy stabs somewhere near your gut. “I’m really happy for you, Niki.” 
“A month still feels like forever, though, doesn’t it?” He sighs. “I can’t remember the last time I was out of the studio for this long.” 
Jungwon slides down onto the mat next to you, joining in on the stretch routine. “Consider yourself lucky, man. They told me at my last check-up that I probably won’t be able to do any jumping or kicks again for at least three months even though the fracture is already mostly healed.” He shakes his head. “No jumping or kicking,” he echoes, sarcasm dripping from every word. “You know, things that are super easy to avoid in taekwondo.”
“If it’s any consolation, I just got told that I’m gonna have to sit out of regionals this year. Which means I’ll have no way of qualifying for nationals.” You wonder how many times you’ll have to admit that particular reality to yourself before the sting starts to fade. 
“That sucks.” Jake agrees, coming down to the mat and occupying the spot next to Niki. “I’ll probably have to sit for this entire season, too. I love my team, but it’s so frustrating watching them play when I know I could be an asset on the field.”
“That’s true.” You’re struck by a sudden wave of sympathy. “At least skating is an individual sport, so the only person I have to disappoint is myself.” 
“Speaking of skating,” Jungwon sounds hesitant as he approaches the subject. “Do you and Sunghoon, uh…” he pauses for a moment in search of a neutral way of framing the unmistakable tension that surfaced the last time he saw the two of you together. “Do you two know each other?”
Grimacing internally, you suppose an explanation was bound to be solicited after your icy reunion. “We skate for rival universities.” Your gaze fixes on a spot on the ground. “And before college we used to, uh, we used to skate for the same club.”
The three boys share a glance. It’s hardly an explanation for the venom you said his name with but before they can press you further, the subject in question enters the room. 
Again, he takes his time setting his bag down, getting his things ready. This time, he also pulls out an obnoxiously big pair of headphones, secures them over his ears before he bothers to turn around. Despite the fact that all three boys offer him friendly smiles and waves, he returns the gesture only with a tight smile, making his way to the mat on the opposite side of the room before he begins his stretch routine.
It’s a message that rings loud and clear. A frown passes between Jake, Jungwon, and Niki. It’s obvious to you, then, that you’re the reason he chose to set himself up as far away as physically possible. 
So be it, you think, letting the slight roll right off of you. It’s not the first time he’s given you the cold shoulder for something he plays an equal part in, and you doubt it will be the last. 
Besides, it will only make your sessions pass by quicker, if the burden of avoiding gazes and minimizing interactions falls on his shoulders instead of yours.
With nothing but a shrug, you adjust slightly, ensuring that the only view he has of you is of your back. 
It’s a pattern that continues as physical therapy sessions start to become a regular routine in your week. Sunghoon, with his apparent disdain for anyone’s time but his own, is always the last to arrive. He also continues his habit of picking the spot in the room furthest away from you. 
Despite the fact that you’d like to chalk it up to his social ineptitude alone, that explanation doesn’t track. Although there’s still a certain aura of aloofness that follows where he goes, it’s too often that you see him smiling at a joke cracked by Jake or sharing easy conversations with Jungwon and Niki.  
Hell, he even interacts with Dr. Kim with a level of warmth you didn’t know was possible coming from him. If there’s any disdain in their conversations, he directs it all towards his right wrist. It’s why he’s here, you assume. Encased in a brace similar to the one you wear on your left ankle, his right forearm seems to be the reason for his attendance. 
It’s hard to not be envious. While a wrist injury is nothing to scoff at, it doesn’t necessarily keep you off the ice. Not in the same way a fractured ankle does. 
Refocusing your thoughts, you push the boy across the room firmly out of mind as Dr. Kim helps adjust you into the next stretch.
“How about now?” Dr. Kim pushes your spine a fraction of an inch further, pressure light but demanding. Before, this much flexibility would have been an easy request of your body, but lack of use has your muscles feeling tight. “Any tightness or pain?”
“No.” The bead of sweat on your brow begs to differ, as does the way the negation slipped through gritted teeth. 
But you’re frustrated. Annoyed at the progress you’ve lost, at the new limits of your body, at the way you feel like a stranger in your own skin. 
Across the room, you miss the flicker of annoyance that flits over Sunghoon’s features. Headphones on as always, you imagine you’re nothing more than a blip on his radar, a pesky intruder that’s easily ignored as long as he has his back to you. 
“Hm,” Dr. Kim muses. “You’ve retained more flexibility than I expected.” She offers you a smile. “That’s a good thing, a sign of a quick recovery.”
You suppress a grimace. It should be a good thing. You should be recovering quickly. If only you could get your stupid body to cooperate. 
Stealing another glance at the boy across the room, you can’t help the way a small burst of rage bubbles in your stomach. Prodigy. Why does he always get to be the anomaly, the exception to the rule? His injury is already less severe than yours, and he’s probably recovering quickly, too. Without even having to fake it.
Easing you out of the stretch, Dr. Kim jots down a quick note. “I’ll have Dr. Min run another x-ray at your next visit.” Nodding towards your ankle, she adds, “I think there’s a good chance that things are looking a lot better, and updated x-rays will help guide our next sessions.” She pauses for a minute. “I don’t want to get ahead of myself or get your hopes up, but I think we might be able to start putting some weight back on it soon. Start getting it stronger again.” 
You’re hesitant to let your excitement grow too much. But it would be a lie if you weren’t already counting the days until your next visit with Dr. Min in your head. “Thank you,” you tell her. “I’ll hope those x-rays come back looking good, then.”
“Me too,” she smiles. “I’ll see you next week, then. Hopefully with good news.”
You nod, returning her smile before heading to the door to gather your things. Jungwon catches you on your way out. 
“Hey, ___, hold on a sec.” When you turn back towards him, he tells you, “The rest of us are gonna grab lunch at a place nearby, if you want to join.”
Your uncertainty must write itself across your features, because he’s quick to add, “Don’t worry. Sunghoon won’t be there. He’s got a class right after this.”
Slightly embarrassed by the way he read you so easily, you nod. “Sure. Lunch sounds good.” Despite their friendliness with Sunghoon, you’ve come to like the three of them. And it’s been far too long since you broke up the monotony of class, homework, and medical appointments with something as simple as lunch with friends. 
And as long as he’s not there, you imagine it will be nothing but pleasant. 
It doesn’t take long for them to prove you wrong. 
Niki barely lets you get one bite in before he asks, “So, what exactly happened between you two?” Even without the name, the question is obvious. 
Still, after choking on the sip of water you’d been taking, you answer, “Who?”
Jake just gives you a look. 
You sigh. “Like I said, we used to skate for the same club. We, uh, never really got along, I guess.” Avoiding eye contact, you add, “And now we skate for rival schools. I suppose it’s only natural to not like each other.”
Niki doesn’t miss a beat. “Yeah, that sounds made up.”
Jungwon swallows his bite, parts his lips like he has something to say. Internally, you heave a sigh of relief. If any of the three of them spare you, you have a feeling it would be him. “I mean, it does seem like something else must have happened.”
Or not. 
“You don’t have to tell us,” he adds. “But it’s just… I mean, the two of you can’t even look at each other.”
Sighing, you suppose the circumstances do look odd from the outside. “There was… an incident. Back when we used to skate together.”
“What?” Jake asks. “Did he steal your skates right before a show or something?” 
“No, no.” You shake your head. “It happened on the ice, actually. During a program.”
“Wait,” Niki interrupts. “You said you used to skate together. Do you mean like, as partners?”
The guilt on your face says it all. 
“No way.” Jake says. 
Jungwon’s eyes grow bigger. “What did he do?”
“Yeah,” Niki turns to face you fully. “Wouldn’t being his partner be a good thing? At least on the ice, I mean. I know he can be a little insufferable, but isn’t he some sort of prodigy—”
“Prodigy, my ass.” You’re so sick of that goddamn word. “Wasn’t a prodigy when he dropped me in the middle of our program at junior nationals, was he?”
The way all three or their jaws drop in unison is almost worth the admission. 
But the thing is, he was. No accusatory fingers pointed in his direction after it happened. No one blamed prodigy Park Sunghoon for the mishap. 
No, it was decided fair and square by the jury of public opinion that the mistake was entirely your fault, your burden to bear. And it’s not like you were immune to the criticism. Whispers followed where you went. And you always, always managed to hear them. 
Maybe if you’d trained a little harder, completed the second rotation a little sooner, the skill would have gone off without a hitch, they mused. Hell, maybe if you’d stuck to your diet a little better, those last two pounds would have spelled the difference between a perfect landing and your ass on frozen ground, program music still crescendoing as onlookers watched with horrified fascination.
“Oh,” Jungwon grimaces. 
“That’s rough,” Niki agrees. 
And they don’t even know the worst of it. Don’t know that back then, at fifteen, you’d had a giant, soul crushing, earth shattering, massive crush on your skating partner. That you searched for his approval just as eagerly as you’d sought out your coach’s. 
That you’d squeezed in as many extra practice sessions as physically possible for five months leading up to the routine just to make sure you were as close to flawless as possible, just to make sure you were chosen to be his partner on the ice. 
That you giggled, giggled, when you saw the matching costumes the two of you would wear for the first time. 
That you followed where he went with long sighs and lovesick eyes. That you looked forward to the grueling hours you spent on the ice with him, turning perfection into something even greater. 
That your heart skipped a beat every time you ran through your program, every time he caught you with sure hands and a strong grip. 
That Park Sunghoon never made a mistake, never let you fall, not once. 
Not until a spotlight was spinning dreams into reality and you were already anticipating the secret smiles you’d share with matching gold medals around your necks. 
Not until it all shattered in a single moment. 
It was cold, as you laid there on the ice, sprawled out and unable to move from the sudden shock of it all. Luckily, you’d avoided any critical injuries. You had staggered off the ice with nothing but some bad bruising, the worst of it staining your ego and your heart. 
And after it all, no matter how many times you passed him on your way to the locker room, shared the ice with him, or searched for the gaze he pointedly avoided across the room, Park Sunghoon never uttered the two words that just might have made you forgive it all. 
Instead of an apology or even the decency of an explanation, you got a cold shoulder and a lost friendship you were too confused by to mourn. 
In the end, you’d decided to turn it all into a blessing in a very thorough disguise. From that moment onwards, all of your time on the ice was dedicated to you and you alone. Never would you let anything but the sheer strength of your own will, your own goals, motivate you to become better, faster, stronger. 
And you found that victory tasted even sweeter, when the full weight of it could rest on your shoulders alone. When no one could whisper behind their palms that the only reason you stood on the podium was a prodigy of a partner. 
So fine. Park Sunghoon didn’t owe you shit. Not an apology, an explanation, or even a second glance. 
And if he was a prodigy, an ice prince or whatever stupid title he’d earned alongside his medals, well, you’d just have to be even better.
But now, sitting across from new friends with a fractured ankle and a ruined shot at medalling this year, a quiet part of you admits for the first time that maybe, just maybe, part of that resolve is nothing but spite in disguise. Part of the anger you’ve clung to for so long isn’t directed at him, but at yourself. 
That it was embarrassing to fall in front of a crowd, yes, but it was also humiliating to know that he was hearing all those little comments about your inferiority too. To realize that his silence meant he probably agreed. That you were a liability of a partner, unequal in both skill and importance. That he could move on from the incident, from you, completely unscathed. 
That your little crush was entirely one-sided, just like the respect and admiration you’d once felt for him. 
You stare at the half-eaten lunch in front of you, appetite suddenly completely gone. 
“What a coincidence that the two of you ended up injured at the same time,” Jake muses. 
“And in the same physical therapy group.” Jungwon nods. 
“Yeah,” you echo hollowly. “What a coincidence.”
When Park Sunghoon speaks to you for the first time in five years, it’s completely by accident.
As the weeks have continued on, you’ve fallen into a perfect routine during your shared physical therapy sessions. A routine of avoidance, ignorance, and as much space between the two of you as physically possible. It’s become so easy that the two of you navigate it with the kind of grace only two elite figure skaters could ever manage. 
If anything, it’s more awkward for the other members of your session than it is for the two of you. Jungwon, Jake, Niki, and Dr. Kim are the ones suffering as they try to stay friendly with both of you without icing out the other. 
It must be why he doesn’t even bother to check who it is that’s standing right next to him as he reaches for his bag on the shelf near the front door at the end of another session. Must be why he says it in a voice so casual you don’t think it’s him at first. “How pissed do you think Dr. Kim will be if I’m late again next week?”
Even though the voice doesn’t quite fit, you half expect to see Jake standing next to you when you turn to the side. 
Sunghoon realizes his mistake at the exact same second you do. You watch as shock flickers across his features, quickly replaced by something guarded, unreadable. Just as completely closed off to you as always. 
It pisses you off, the way he’s so utterly and completely unaffected by you. The way he can brush you off as easily as a piece of dust. Insignificant. Unimportant. Unwanted. It has you freeing the reins on comments you should bite back instead. 
“Hard to say.” Ice and resentment drip from every syllable. “Then again, I’m surprised you care about what she thinks. Doesn’t seem like something that would bother you.”
That at least earns you some of his emotion. Another bout of shock crosses his face before it shifts to confusion and falls finally to anger. You can see it in the furrow of his brow, the set of his jaw. The flare of heat in his eyes. 
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
If he falls to anger, you’ll rise above it. At least on the outside. There’s no accounting for the way your gut twists in rage. Still, you offer him a smile that’s almost as fake as it is sickeningly sweet. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out if you spend enough time thinking about it.” It’s patronizing, and intentionally so. You hope it annoys him enough to keep him up tonight. 
Reaching for the front door, you take your exit first. The hallways of this building have become familiar over the weeks. Even with anger clouding your vision and a bad ankle, you trace a steady path to the parking lot. You’re halfway to your car when the sound of your name stops you in your tracks. 
You freeze for a moment, turning the sound of it over in your brain, stuck on the way it almost sounds like a plea, a prayer coming from his lips. The sound of footsteps draws nearer. They fall quickly, as if he’s running. Your indecision still renders you immobile. 
“Hold on a second. Did I… Did I do something to upset you?”
If you thought you were angry before, you’re surely seeing red now. How dare he. 
Spinning around, you only hope you sound as outraged as you feel. “Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?”
“What? No.” His brow furrows. “I mean, I know our schools are technically rivals and all, but we haven’t really seen each other in years.”
“Right, because you’ve been so sunny and welcoming since I joined the group.”
“I was giving you space. You practically bolted like a scared cat when you saw it was me.” He runs a hand through his hair. You hate the way it falls perfectly back into place. And you hate the way he looks so good doing it. “But clearly you’ve got something against me.”
The audacity, the sheer, utter audacity. There’s no trace of humor when you say, “You’re hilarious, really.” And there’s no room for debate when you turn away from him again, continuing to walk towards your car. 
“Wait,” he tries, but it falls on deaf ears. “God, ___, would you just hold on for a second, I—”
You turn. To do what, you’re not entirely sure. But before you can decide, the grip he has on his car keys loosens, the fingers of his right hand less dexterous than usual thanks to his arm brace. He still has his reflexes though. With his other hand, he manages to stop them from falling completely. 
“Better take care of that.” You jerk your chin to where he awkwardly fumbles with his keyring, trying to find a better grip. “Wouldn’t want to drop those too.”
His gaze snaps to you, eyes wide, mouth slightly slackened. The keys fall from his grasp, metal clinking delicately on the pavement. A million questions swim across his features, none of which you’ll give the grace of answering. 
Instead, you turn around once more. You make it all the way to your car, all the way out of the parking lot, all the way home. 
And he never says your name once. 
The following Tuesday, you are the last one of the group to arrive. And while you would usually never pass up the opportunity to best Sunghoon at anything, including being the latest arrival, competition is not the reason for your tardiness. 
It’s avoidance. That, and the fact that you had to spend eleven minutes giving yourself a pep talk in the car before you could work up the nerve to approach the front doors of the clinic. In the end, it’s a glance down at the boot on your left foot that does it. You’ve let Sunghoon ruin your chance at a gold medal once, and you’ll be damned if you let him do it again. 
Besides, your last visit with Dr. Min was a good one. Your ankle hasn’t healed quite as much as Dr. Kim suspected, but progress is progress, and you’re making plenty of it, according to your most recent x-rays. 
You enter the session with an apology for Dr. Kim and concentrated efforts to not let your gaze wander to the back corner of the room as you make your way over to where Jake and Jungwon sit. Starting your stretches, you assume Niki is over with Sunghoon, but you can’t work up the nerve to confirm that. 
Despite her initial annoyance at your tardiness, Dr. Kim is equally pleased at your latest x-ray results and gives you the green light to switch out the resistance bands you’ve been using for the next level up. Just as you’re reaching for the set of red bands on the shelf next to the treadmills, a set of obnoxiously smooth hands gets there first. 
Turning to Sunghoon with narrowed eyes, you grab the end of the band set he just snatched out from under you, eyes ablaze. 
The little fucker has the gall to roll his eyes. “What are you doing?”
You yank on the band. He doesn’t even flinch, grip steady. “I’m trying to follow Dr. Kim’s instructions,” you inform, tone flat. 
This time when you yank again, he yanks back. Much to your annoyance, he’s able to exert enough force to have you stumbling forward. “You’re trying to provoke me.”
“And it’s working,” Niki whispers to Jake and Jungwon in the back corner of the room. Dr. Kim just shakes her head. 
“Just take the green bands,” Sunghoon suggests. 
“They don’t have enough resistance. I need these ones,” you argue. “Why don’t you take the green ones?”
“Pretty sure if one of us takes the lighter bands, it should be you.” Sunghoon tightens his grip. “Or are you seriously trying to claim that you’re stronger than me right now?”
“I’m using them for my legs, you absolute jackass. Which are definitely stronger than your forearms.”
Sunghoon cocks a brow. “Should we put money on it?”
“You are such a dick. Dr. Kim literally—”
“Has another set of red bands,” the woman in question interrupts. She levels the two of you with an exasperated look as she holds them out in front of her. “There’s another set of every color on the equipment shelf next to the door.”
“Oh, right,” you nod, pulling back a little on your end of the band before you release it, just to hear the small cry Sunghoon lets out when it snaps against the skin of his good wrist. “Thanks.”
And the satisfaction that comes from completing your usual number of reps with a higher resistance is almost as gratifying as when you see Sunghoon rubbing at the still reddened skin on his left wrist as you pack up to leave for the day. 
“Those two are gonna kill each other,” Jungwon tells Jake and Niki as the three of them walk to their cars, brow creasing in concern. 
“Or something,” Jake agrees. 
Niki hoists his bag up on his shoulder. “My money’s on ___.”
A contemplative look passes between Jake and Jungwon before they nod in unison, “Yeah.”
You’re in the middle of passing a medicine ball back and forth with Jake the following week when he asks, “Are your school’s finals next week too?”
And although it’s hard to believe, first semester is already drawing to an end as the days get shorter and assignments get longer. 
“Yeah,” you nod. “I’m up to my ass in essays right now.”
“Same,” Jake agrees. “Sometimes it makes me wonder how I do it when I’m training, too.” Although you agree, a pang of jealousy is the only thing his words inspire. Of the skaters on your team that are preparing to compete as you speak. That have already choreographed their routines and selected their music and are spending every waking moment perfecting each and every detail of their program. 
It’s hard. It’s brutal. You’d be the first to admit that. But you miss it all the same, so much it hurts. 
A moment passes before he continues. “Well, anyway, Jungwon, Niki, and I were thinking that since none of us are training right now, we should celebrate the end of the semester like everyone else does.”
You arch a brow. “You’re gonna have to be more specific than that.”
“Right, sorry,” he apologizes. “Consider this your formal invitation to get absolutely shitfaced with us next Friday.”
The laugh that bubbles in your throat is so unexpected you can’t quite bite it back. While you have your fair share of good, old-fashioned fun, he’s right. Every other semester, you’ve celebrated the end of finals season with a cup of hot tea and an early night in bed. Traded one source of stress for another as you woke up bright and early the next day to hit the ice. 
You send him a smile, tossing the medicine ball back in his direction. “Count me in.”
The following Friday night finds you double-checking the address on your phone before tentatively knocking on the front door of what you hope is Jake’s apartment. In the middle of the university district across the city from your own, you can’t say you’re familiar with any of the buildings outside of the athletic complex, which you’ve only ever visited for a handful of competitions. It strikes you then that this is also the university Sunghoon attends. And, stomach dropping, that you never actually asked who all would be attending tonight.
Before you have the chance to spin on your heel and high-tail it down the stairs you just climbed, the door swings open. It’s not Jake. 
“Oh,” you mumble. The boy who opened the door is not Jake, but he is very much attractive. “Sorry. I’m looking for Jake Sim’s apartment.” Your voice turns up at the end like a question. 
“You’re in the right place,” he smiles, and it’s gorgeous. “I’m Heeseung, Jake’s roommate. You must be ___.” He opens the door wider, allowing you space. “Come on in.”
“That’s me.” You offer him a grateful smile as you enter, hanging your coat and sliding your shoes off. 
The interior is surprisingly sophisticated, for a college boy’s apartment. It’s clean, for starters, and as you follow Heeseung down the hallway towards the kitchen, you can’t help but be impressed by their choice in decor. 
“Help yourself to anything.” Heeseung gestures to the impressive spread of snacks on the table. “But first, can I get you something to drink?”
“Um…” Your lack of alcohol-related knowledge is apparent, and the uncertainty must be obvious, because Heeseung just smiles again. 
“I’ve got you.” There’s an undertone of something in his words. Something playful, something bordering on flirty. But it’s too subtle to tell for sure, and you’re not one to bet on losing odds. He reaches for a glass and a handful of ice cubes. “Do you like fruity flavors?”
“Yeah,” you nod. “That sounds good.” Besides, it’s been a minute since you’ve been well and truly flirted with at a college party by a boy that looks like he could spell trouble in his sleep. This could be fun, you think.  
Glancing towards the adjacent living room, you notice the usual familiar faces. Jake and Niki are sitting on the couch while Jungwon chats with a pair of boys you don’t recognize. Eyes tracing the perimeter, you feel your shoulders tense when they land on a familiar silhouette. Sunghoon has his back to you, but his identity is just as unmistakable as it was on your first day of physical therapy. Like Jungwon, he’s talking to another person you don’t know. 
Oh, well. It’s too late to back out now and too early to make an exit. If you and Sunghoon can coexist in a room once a week without starting too many fires, you’re sure you’ll manage to get through tonight just fine. 
Heeseung hands you a full glass. It’s cold where it meets your fingertips. 
“Should we join them?” He inclines his head toward the living room and you nod. 
Following in his footsteps, you wave a quick greeting to Jake before taking a seat next to Heeseung, enough space between you and Sunghoon for you to relax slightly.
“How do you and Jake know each other?” You ask, searching for something to fill the silence, to keep the conversation flowing. “Do you play soccer together?”
Heeseung shakes his head. “No, we’ve been friends since elementary school. But I am on the basketball team, which helps. I feel like student athletes just kind of get each other, you know?”
You do know, and you tell him as much. The crazy schedule, the unwavering commitment. It’s much easier to explain to someone that’s living through the exact same thing. 
“Speaking of which, you’re a figure skater, right? For the university across town.”
You arch a brow. “I’m surprised Jake told you so much about you.”
“Not nearly enough,” he flirts, and this time it’s blatant. 
You take another sip of your drink with upturned lips, weighing a response on your tongue. Before you can decide how many cards you’d like to show, you make eye contact across the room with the one person you were hoping to avoid. 
Sunghoon looks equally—scratch that—even more displeased to see you. Jawline so taught you could cut your finger on it and lips drawn in a straight line, he’s pissed where he locks eyes with you from his seat. Sunghoon is the one to avert his eyes first. Throwing back whatever’s in his cup, he slices through the moment of tension with a knife. 
If Heeseung notices the way your breath splutters, he doesn’t comment. Thankfully, Jungwon chooses the next moment to say his hellos and introduce you to the boys you hadn’t recognized earlier. 
“Sunoo,” he nods towards the boy he’d been sitting with earlier, who offers a friendly greeting. “And that’s Jay, over by Sunghoon. And you’ve already met Heeseung.”
“And you all go to school here?”
“Yeah,” Jungwon nods. “Jay and I live together, and Sunoo is Niki’s roommate.”
“You’re deep in enemy territory,” Heeseung elbows you lightly, teasing. “What are we gonna do with you?”
You lift your now empty glass towards him, grinning. “Get me another drink, hopefully.”
Sending you a wink, he takes the glass from your outstretched hand before standing from the couch. “On it.” You watch his back retreat into the kitchen, oblivious of the second one that follows it a handful of moments later. 
Jay, as it turns out, is not an athlete, but does play guitar for a local  band your friend has been raving to you about for ages. He’s already promising you two sets of complimentary tickets to every one of their upcoming shows by the time you realize Heeseung’s been gone for a while. Too long. 
Excusing yourself, you head toward the kitchen. And it’s just your luck that you find the person you’ve spent the evening avoiding, instead of the one you’re searching for. Even with the buzz of your first drink fading rapidly, your inhibitions are feeling low. 
Sunghoon barely has the chance to register your presence before you’re laying out accusations. 
“I know you don’t like me, but do you really have to spend the whole night glaring at me like that? In front of everyone?”
Sunghoon’s shoulders tense, a confirmation that he hears you, but he says nothing. Instead, he just swallows the remainder of his drink in one large gulp. His eyes are still flaring, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think you did something to piss him off. 
But it’s just like him, to avoid conversations he doesn’t want to have with the end of another drink. To treat you like someone not even worthy of a response. You don’t know why you expected anything different. Scoffing, you notice the full drink sitting on the counter. Heeseung must have had the chance to refill it before disappearing. 
You move to step around Sunghoon and reach for it when he finally says, “I’m not glaring at you.”
The gaze you level him with is incredulous. “Do you think I’m stupid? I have eyes—”
“For all I know you are stupid!” Sunghoon sighs, drags an open palm down the length of his face. “I mean, are you really gonna let some guy you just met pour your drinks all night?”
“Heeseung?” You’re confused why all of his rage seems to be directed towards something so insignificant. “He’s Jake’s roommate”
“And a complete stranger to you.”
It’s infuriating, the way he assumes his opinion should hold any weight in your life. The way he thinks he has any say in your decisions. “So should I avoid all the food now too?” You’re being petty now for the sake of it. “I mean, since you’ve been in here unsupervised for quite a while now.” You take another step towards your drink and he moves, blocking your path with his body. 
When you look up, you find his eyes already trained on you, and there’s no ice in them now. Just pure, unadulterated heat. Fire. Flames that lick the base of your spine. “You’re so fucking agitating, you know that?”
“I’m agitating?” You take another step forward, hoping the proximity will force him away. It doesn’t. If anything, he leans into it. Into you. 
You reach for the drink again. This time, he stops you himself. Fingers of his unrestricted hand wrapping around your wrist.
“Yeah.” His words are low, voice a caress even as it drips venom. You feel his breath ghost across your cheekbone. “Real fucking agitating.”
Your eyes are still locked on his, and you search them for a hint of something coherent, something that makes sense. Every bone in your body drawn taught, it’s as if muscle memory reverts you to the last moment you were like this, the last moment he held you this close, body entwined with his own in a familiar embrace. Your wrist slackens in his grasp. 
Last time, he dropped you. Sent you scattering across ice until the only thing you could taste was the bitterness of defeat and the sharp sting of humiliation. 
Last time, he let you fall. 
You have no idea what he’ll do now. 
In the end, it’s the sound of approaching footsteps that has the two of you springing apart, your wrist falling from his grip. In the scramble, you remember your original target. 
Despite the long melted ice, this drink feels even cooler in your grip, a stark contrast to the simmering heat just beneath your skin. 
When Heeseung enters, he’s tucking his phone into his pocket with an apologetic look. “Sorry, I had to take a call. My brother gets chatty at the worst times.” Nodding to your hand, he smiles, “You found your drink.” 
“Yeah, I did.” You take a step closer to the living room, closer to Heeseung. Further from Sunghoon. 
Glancing between the two of you, there’s a hint of uncertainty when Heeseung asks if you want to rejoin the others in the living room. 
You put his worries to ease and your questions to rest when you agree easily, not even bothering to give Sunghoon a second thought. 
You do seek his gaze one last time, though, before you follow Heeseung back to the party. Looking directly at him, you raise your glass in a mock toast. Without breaking eye contact, you bring the cup to your lips, swallowing half the drink in one long sip. When you do finally turn away, it’s to find the empty seat next to Heeseung. 
The rest of the evening passes in a pleasant blur, trading stories and laughs with the people around you while Heeseung keeps the seat at your side warm. Sunghoon does you the favor of disappearing from sight after your stand off in the kitchen.
It’s easy to relax into the company of everyone else, so much so that you don’t see Sunoo until you’re running right into him, the contents of his cup saturating the front of your shirt. 
It’s a problem Heeseung is quick to solve, and the gray hoodie he offers you is cozier than any of your own with a scent that’s almost addicting. 
He’s sweet, you think. Sweet and charming and forward in all of the right ways. It’s solidified when he offers to join you on the porch when you tell him you’re stepping outside for some fresh air. It’s cemented when he accepts your refusal with nothing but a smile and the request that you “come back quick.”
Stepping outside, it takes you a moment to realize that you’re not alone. It would appear that your earlier assumption that Sunghoon must have gone back to his place was wrong. There’s no drink in his hand, but the way he sways with the gentle midnight breeze makes you think he’s still working through everything he downed earlier. 
Silently, you glance up at the cloudless night sky, at the way the stars seem to wrap around you. Gaze returning to Sunghoon’s back, you suppose the simplest course of action would be to leave before he realizes you’re here. You turn to do just that, to make good on your promise to Heesung, when the sound of your name stops you in your tracks. 
Or at least, you think that’s what he says. It’s hard to tell, with the way his syllables and sounds slur together. Turning back towards him, you find him already looking at you. He repeats your name, and this time around, it’s a bit clearer. 
His eyes trace a downward line from your face to your change in clothes. Something in his face crumples, withers. 
“‘M sorry,” he slurs, words not lining up quite right through the inebriation. 
“What?”
“That day.” The sudden onset of sincerity in his tone makes him seem more sober than he is. “I should have caught you.”
The stars in the sky suddenly don’t seem so far away. You must have heard him wrong. A crease forms between your eyebrows, eyes scanning over his features. They’re laid open in their honesty, no trace of deception. 
“I wanted to catch you. I tried to.” He sighs. “Was my fault.”
“I…” You search for words, for the vindication you’d always imagined you’d feel at his admission. In its absence, you find only confusion and an odd pang of regret. “What?”
“I’m sorry,” he repeats. 
“Sorry for what? Why are you bringing that up?”
He just shakes his head, eyes falling to his feet. 
“I’m sorry,” he says again. Like a broken record. His pain is wrapped up in there too, trapped in a loop time has never quite let it escape. 
When you return to the party, it’s with a jumbled excuse of needing to check on a pet cat you don’t have. 
In the haste of it all, you forget to so much as exchange numbers with Heeseung. But you do find the time to pull Jake aside on your way out the door, to make sure that he helps Sunghoon get home safe. 
The next morning greets you with a pounding headache and an unfamiliar hoodie draped over the back of your desk chair. It takes a moment of searching through hazy memories before recollection of that particular string of events finds you. 
With a sigh, you head out in search of water and Advil, sending Jake a quick message that you’ll stop by his apartment later to return Heeseung’s hoodie. 
Even a handful of hours later, you can’t decide if you hope Heeseung is home or not. It’s a Saturday afternoon after a long night, so you figure the odds are high. But you still can’t pinpoint whether that feeling in your gut is excitement or dread. 
In an effort to delay the inevitable, you take a detour before visiting Jake’s apartment again. Your rival university’s sports complex is just as nice as you remember it, large, pristine buildings that hold everything an athletics department could dream of. Fondly, you remember the first time you skated in this stadium, back in middle school. It had felt so big, then, so special, to be skating for such a large crowd. 
It felt even more special to be sharing the ice with someone who put dreams in your head and butterflies in your stomach. Still fairly new to pair skating, the two of you had put on a program with a less than favorable amount of deduction. 
But still. It was yours. It was special. It was shared. 
You wonder if he knew then, that one day he would be the reigning king of this very same rink. 
Probably, you think. Park Sunghoon never had the habit of letting things feel impossible. 
Looking down at the boot on your foot, you miss it, all of it, all at once. The late nights. The early mornings. The bruises and cuts and aching muscles. The determination after defeat. The elation after glory. The feeling of flying every time blade touches ice. 
The sign posted next to the stadium is an advertisement, a reminder, of the upcoming regional championships. There’s a pang of loss, a moment of grief, for your program that will have to wait for next year. 
But your x-rays are coming back better every time, and Dr. Kim is sure you’ll be back on the ice by the time spring comes. 
For the first time in a long time, you think it’ll be okay. You know you’ll be okay.  
In front of you, the stadium door opens, and you realize you’re standing right in front of the exit. 
“Sorry,” you mutter, quickly moving to get out of the way, but then you take a closer look. “Coach Kang?” you ask, just as she says your name with the same air of disbelief. 
It’s an odd feeling of synchronicity, to stumble into your childhood skating coach just as you’re reminiscing on the past. 
“It’s been so long,” she beams, pulling you in for a warm hug. “What are you doing here?”
“Just visiting a friend. What about you?”
“Coaches’ meeting,” she explains. “Trying to see if I can get some of my junior skaters in to watch a few practices before regionals.” Nudging you with her shoulder, she adds, “speaking of which, how’s your program coming along? Are you getting excited?”
You shake your head. “I’m actually off the ice for this one.” Glancing down, you lift your booted foot in explanation. “Ankle fracture has me out for the rest of the season.”
“Oh, no.” Coach Kang places a consolatory hand on your shoulder. “I’m sorry. That has to be so hard.”
“It’s okay, actually.” You don’t know who’s more surprised, her at your admission, or you at the fact that you actually mean it. “Everything is healing up nicely, so I’m looking forward to an even better program next year.” 
“Well look at you, all grown up.” She smiles. “I can say that thirteen-year-old you would not have had such a good attitude about it. Honestly, I’m surprised a fracture was enough to stop you. You were always so stubborn about things. You and Sunghoon.” She lets out a short laugh as your shoulders tense at the mention of him. “I was just thinking about you two the other day, actually. We had a skater fracture his tailbone and argue until he was blue in the face that he still wanted to compete.” Shaking her head, she adds, “It reminded me of that time Sunghoon insisted on skating even though he’d just sprained his wrist.” She shakes her head again, releases a small laugh. “Never could keep you two off the ice.”
It all checks out, the stubbornness, the determination even when it was stupid. But you’re hung up on one detail. You’re sure you could list every one of Sunghoon’s skating injuries just as thoroughly as he could. But before the current one, you can’t recall any wrist injuries. “What? When did he sprain his wrist?” 
Coach Kang waves her hand flippantly, like the sinking feeling in your gut isn’t intensifying with every passing moment, like she isn’t about to confirm a realization you’re already dreading. “Oh, you remember. It was just a few days before nationals that one year.”
That one year. She skirts around it, for your sake probably. But you know exactly what she means, when she’s referring to. 
And suddenly, you’re falling through air again, plummeting towards ice as a hand makes a desperate attempt to catch you. As sheer will alone is no match for injury weakened bones and ligaments and muscles. As you’re sliding across frozen ground and he’s gripping his wrist with pain on his face and terror in his eyes. 
As your head spins, spots clouding your vision from the force of the impact. Before the world goes black, your eyes search for him. 
And in those last few moments of consciousness, you watch as his mouth moves to form words you can’t hear. 
“I’m sorry.”
Raising your fist, you pound at the door again. One, two, three times. At this rate, your knuckles will be bloody before you get a response. 
But before you can start your assault on the wood in front of you again, the door swings open slowly, revealing a familiar frame. 
“You absolute idiot.”
“Well hello to you too.” Rubbing at his eyes, you appear to have just woken him from a nap. If his head is feeling anything like yours was this morning, you almost feel sorry. 
But there are more pressing matters at hand. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
“That I’m an idiot? Probably not.”
“That you sprained your wrist three days before nationals? That you skated anyway? That you attempted to catch a person quite literally spinning through the air with a wrist injury?”
A beat of silence passes. 
And then another. 
Sunghoon suddenly looks wide awake. “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. What the hell were you thinking?” There’s fire in your eyes, an anger that’s directed towards him but not in the ways he’s used to. 
He pauses for a moment, eyes searching your features for another beat. Finally, he sighs. “Would you have let me skate if I did?”
It’s not the answer you expect. And it’s just like him, to answer a question with one of his own. “I… what?”
“You heard me.” His eyes don’t leave yours. “Would you have let me get on the ice if you knew I was hurt?”
And what is it, him and his habit of asking ridiculous questions like they don’t have obvious answers. “What kind of question is that? Of course not. No one in their right mind would have let you do that program with a wrist sprain, much less your partner. And I love Coach Kang, but I’m about to file a negligence suit against her, because what the hell kind of—”
“Stop talking.”
“Excuse me?”
“Sorry,” he grimaces, and you’re still getting used to the way apologies sound on his lips. “That came out wrong. What I was trying to say was that you… Well, I… I mean…” He trails off for the third time, casts a tentative look at the way your eyebrows only raise higher and higher every time he stops a train of thought in its tracks. His gaze falls down, somewhere between your nose and chin. An exhale passes through parted lips. Something in his resolve slips. “Oh, fuck it.”
And then he’s kissing you. 
Lips against lips and hands in your hair. It’s messy and awkward, and you can’t quite get the timing right. 
Sunghoon pulls back a fraction of an inch, catching his breath and letting you do the same. 
“What are you doing?”
There’s heat in his eyes and fondness too, a soft sort of expression that only melts further every time he looks at you. But now there’s anxiety in the mix, a crippling fear that he’s misjudged everything entirely, done something horribly wrong. 
“I’m sorry.” Before today, you could count his apologies on one hand. Now, you’re running out of fingers. “Did you not want—”
This time, it’s you that pulls him down, hands lacing around the nape of his neck, exhaling a soft sigh against parted lips that sends his mind spinning. 
And it’s only the second time, but it’s already better. Already a natural rhythm that the two of you seem to fall into with a little more grace. 
The expanse of his door is cold against your back when Sunghoon pulls you into his apartment with his good hand, and he’s a quick study. Attempt number three is an even greater improvement as hands search for new skin to discover and things start to fall into place, one at a time. 
Reaching for Heeseung’s forgotten hoodie, Sunghoon breaks the kiss only to toss it somewhere outside your current plane of existence. In this moment, you exist only within the space the two of you occupy, everything else an afterthought. 
And you have the feeling attempt number four will be your best yet. 
epilogue
“Are you ever gonna join me or do I just have to stay out here looking stupid forever?”
You don’t even take a moment to consider. “The second one.”
“Come on,” Sunghoon pleads, skating back towards you where you remain planted firmly to the bench on the perimeter of the rink. He moves towards you with a grace that used to inspire a raging, stomping green monster of envy. Now, you just admire the way he cuts across the ice with the agility of a dancer. “It’s fun out here, I promise.”
Avoiding his gaze, you let your eyes fall to your feet instead. They’re already laced up in your favorite pair of skates, black boot all but forgotten since you had it removed at your last visit to Dr. Min’s office. Since he gave you the green light to return to the thing you love most. 
You had been ecstatic then. Brimming with so much extra energy Sunghoon had to physically intervene to prevent you from accidentally knocking over an elderly lady on your way out of the hospital. But now, with the opportunity you’ve been dreaming of for long, hard months at your fingertips, something in you hesitates. 
Sunghoon says your name, and suddenly he’s serious. “This is all you’ve been talking about for months.” Sliding down onto his knees in front of you, you’re suddenly at eye level. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He casts a doubtful glance. “Really, I just…” It’s hard, to speak your fears into existence, to let them take flight. Even if the boy in front of you makes it a little easier. “What if it’s not what I imagined?”
It’s a million little worries wrapped up in one. What if your ankle isn’t the same? What if it’s never the same? What if you’re not as good as you were? What if you’re not good enough? 
Sunghoon hears them all, and puts them to rest with a smile, a gentle touch as he rests his forehead against yours. “You and that big brain. Always worrying about the wrong things.”
“Hey! I—”
“It won’t be what you imagined.” He draws back a few inches, and your eyes have nowhere to land but on his own. “It will be different. It will feel weird, and your legs will feel wobbly, your muscles will feel weak, and your ankle might give out.”
Your lips flatten into a thin line. “If you’re trying to make me feel better, you’re doing a terrible job.”
Sunghoon just pinches your cheeks together, forcing your lips to purse. “So you’ll show up. Over and over again. Every day until your skates start to feel like a second pair of feet and the ice starts to feel like home again. Until your ankle and your muscles and your stamina are all built back up, in a way that’s different from before but will feel familiar before you know it.” He presses a single, delicate kiss to the tip of your nose. “Until I’m dragging you off the ice instead of onto it, because your boyfriend needs attention and is feeling a little jealous of all the time you’re spending here instead of with him.”
You roll your eyes. “You’re so needy. It’s gross.”
Sunghoon only smiles. “Only for you.”
This time, when he gets back on his feet and extends a hand, you take it. You follow him onto the ice and headfirst towards your insecurities feeling a little bit like a newborn deer, a bike without its training wheels. 
He laughs when you stumble and brushes hair out of your face when you pout. 
After an hour, you’re already feeling more solid than before. After two, that feeling of flying is starting to return. 
It’s somewhere just before hour three when Sunghoon says, “Remember how I told you earlier that you’re worrying about the wrong things?”
“Yeah.” You drag the word out slowly, not liking the hint of deviousness in his sudden grin. 
“This is what I was talking about. Instead of worrying about getting back on the ice, you should be worrying about how long it will take you to be able to beat me on a lap around the rink.”
“You absolute asshole. I fractured my ankle!”
Already halfway around the rink, Sunghoon just laughs. 
outtake—five years ago. 
Sunghoon’s vision is blurry. It’s a terrible combination of things—the exhilaration of the spotlight, the pain in his wrist, the grief of an egregious error. The sudden onset of tears that sting in the corners of his eyes and fall without his permission. 
Despite all of it, he finds his way back to his dressing room. Choking back a sob, he reaches for the glass of water he’d left out earlier. It tastes acidic on his tongue, burns like regret on the way down. 
Stupid, he was so stupid. His hands tangle in his hair. He wants to pull it out. Wants to scream until his throat is raw and he can’t anymore. 
It was a terrible enough decision to gamble his own fate on an unhealed injury, but as the reality of the situation comes crashing down around him, he realizes he’s done something much worse. 
Eyes open, eyes closed. It doesn’t matter. All he can see is you, sprawled out on ice, limbs bent unnaturally, eyes dazed at the impact. 
The unexpected impact. Because you trusted him. You trusted him so much that of course you’d never considered what you would do if his hands failed, if his wrist gave out. If he decided to risk your program, your fate, you, all on a whim, on an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of regard for the injury he was so certain he could power through. 
He couldn’t imagine it, three days ago. Telling you that he was injured, that he couldn’t skate the program. He couldn’t imagine watching as the features he bashfully considered so, painfully pretty twisted into disappointment. Into anger. 
So he turned his shame into resolve, into determination. One that allowed him to catch you with a fractured wrist in every practice run, every time, except for the time that mattered. Biting back grimaces and cries of pain all for the fool’s hope of seeing you smile in a few days’ time, a gold medal around your neck. 
Instead, he got to see you spinning through the air, slipping through his fingers, landing with a sickening thud. He wants to ask what hospital they took you to, wants to ignore the pain in his wrist a little longer and run there himself, just to make sure that you’re okay.
But then he imagines the way you’ll look at him when you see him. The way all that disappointment and anger he’d wanted to avoid so desperately will surely be all you have to offer him. 
He understands. He does. He wouldn’t want to see him either. 
Turning away from the mirror, he tucks away his shame for the future. But that only leaves his gaze landing on the bouquet of flowers sitting on the table. The one he’d spent nearly an hour agonizing over, the one his mother had assured him a dozen times you would love. The one he made sure had all of your favorite colors. 
He snuck his own favorite in there too, in hopes of what exactly he can’t be sure, but he knows he likes the way they look together—your favorite color and the deep blue irises that represent his own. 
It seems to stupid now. After everything, after this, he can’t imagine you want his flowers, and even less his favorite color. He can’t imagine that you want anything to do with him. 
So he doesn’t seek you out. Not in the hospital that day, not when you’re cleared to practice and back on the ice again, not when chance has the two of you colliding five years later. 
Not until he watches you walk away from him with all that anger and resentment and disappointment he’s been so avoiding for so long. Not until it strikes him in the face and he realizes that he can’t live with it, can’t let bygones be bygones and hope time and the absence of him in your life have healed you for the better when it still hurts to even look at you. 
On a dressing room table, five years in the past, a bouquet of flowers wilts. 
And Sunghoon learns that with love and patience and a little bit of sunlight, beautiful things, even the fragile ones, bloom when you water them.
.....
note: thank you for reading! as always, comments, reblogs, and asks are very much appreciated :D
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etfrin · 10 months
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⤷❝Mine To Love | Coriolanus Snow❞ˎˊ-
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⇢☾Warning: NSFW | Snow is his own warning, mentions of killing, mentions of caging/locking you up (doesn't do it though), hair pulling, breath play if you squint, creampie, unprotected sex (wrap it dumbfucks), pinv sex, blowjob, male masterbation, cunnilingus, mating press, mentions of Lucy Gray, no spoilers | lmk if I forgot anything!
⇢☾Pairing: young president Snow x fem! Reader
⇢☾Summary: Snow realizing his feelings for you, being fucked up about it and fucks you!
⇢☾A/N: don't romanticize, it's dark romance so y'all are warned! This is set in the same au as The Study (you don't have to read it beforehand but it's recommended)
< masterlist > < bc: @cafekitsune > <tag list>
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It started slowly, so slow that Snow didn't even realize it. It started with that night in the study after he had you. He didn't touch you again, denying himself of you. You, his wife, a little bird stuck in a cage. The First Lady of Panem was nothing but a doll, a showcase piece for the country.
You played the role well enough, but you weren't a doll at all. You brought life in what was otherwise a stone-cold mannor. The workers cook your favorite, making sure you're the most well-accommodated. Like a Queen. How their shoulders relax and the smile that springs up when they do the tasks that you assigned them. You earned their respect and their loyalty.
You were dangerous yet harmless. It baffled Coriolanus to no end. It started slow. He coincidentally met you in the hallways more and more. After that night, you couldn't make eye contact with him, no longer did you greet him with an awkward hello or a shy smile.
You look down at the floor whenever he passes you by, your body flushing from the mere second of proximity. So obvious and adorable. He loved how easy you were to read, how open you were. Whatever your lips hide, your eyes show. Whatever your soul hides, your body shows.
It started slow. The monthly dinners with the First Lady turned weekly. Every Sunday now he had you sit across him for dinner and he would ask you about your day. Just to be polite, mind you, don't look into it. He would be annoyed by those one-word answers but would never show it. His fingers subtly grasped the glass of wine tighter than he should, his heart pricking his brain into paranoia. ‘What else?’ he wanted to ask, ‘Stop saying it was good. Tell me what made it good.’
Instead of uttering those words, cameras were placed on every inch of the manner with the audio functions so everything is recorded for his and only his view. He watched you walking through the library, your fingertips touching the spines of the books you already read (which was most of them), you didn't even realize new books were added to the collection, all similar to the ones you liked. He watched you stroll the gardens, your face in a frown at the neverending white roses. A red rose and several other flowers were added the next day.
It started slow. He began to talk about his day more and more trying to fill a silence. He started asking for your opinion and oh, how that lighted your eyes up that you were finally doing what you were meant to do. Supporting him not as a doll but as a wife. You begin to talk about your days more, trusting him with your day-to-day activities. You tell him about friends and family, something he wasn't interested in (he has files on every single person you mentioned).
The nights that were dedicated to his needed sleep turned into the witching hours in which he would stroke his cock over the memory of you. His mouth biting into the pillow to stop his groans, hearing them would mean admitting his need for you and he rejected that notion. His cock was oversensitive because he couldn't stop. He couldn't stop fucking into his fist, again and again thinking about you. Not just your pussy but you. Your desperate moans, your lips marking his neck, your slick walls, and everything of you. Your tears, your head on his chest when he had fucked you. Everything.
He wanted to pin you against a wall. He wanted to bend over during dinner. He wanted you on his lap in his study. He wanted to push you to the bed and fuck you until the bed breaks. He wanted you!
The realization made him spill onto his bed sheets for the nth time. A gasp escaped his lips as he realized how deeply you are rooted in him now. He needed to kill you. He can't afford this again. Whatever this is. Obsession? Love? Was there ever a difference? He needed this to end.
‘You don't deserve to be loved,’ he thinks, you were no Lucy Gray after all, you were different. You could never compare to his first and only (not anymore) love. But he had caged you, he had you and knew your every move. The rumors that spread of cheating were seized along with the man who flirted with you. True to your words, you hadn't fallen to the temptations of the Capitol, rejecting their offers politely rather than basking in their attention like before.
‘Good,’ he thought, he had killed everyone who had touched you and it was hard to hide the evidence. “I am so much better than her,” he muttered, “I could do so much better.” He asked himself, ‘Why? After all the promises I made to myself of never repeating the mistake.’
He didn't get a reply but he dreamt of you.
Breakfast had passed, lunch too, he hadn't seen you once today. A quick peek at his monitors showed that you were sleeping in your room. He clenched his jaw, a part of him hating you for sleeping in because it deprived him of seeing you. A part of his heart warmed because your hair was a mess, the shirt you were wearing while sleeping was his, and you looked so darn pretty.
Coriolanus convinced himself that he was going to your room to wake you up. Nobody should sleep this late into the day. It wasn't healthy, and he needed the First Lady to remain healthy. That was all.
He stepped into the room, his footsteps quiet so he didn't alert you. He sits down on the bed, your sleeping figure beside him. Your mouth had dried drool on the corners which made him disgusted but amusement all the same. His hand went to your cheek, he couldn't control the action of his thumb stroking your cheek.
“I should lock you up forever,” he whispered as softly as possible, almost inaudible. “In this room, so no one can see you but me.”
He knew by now his thoughts weren't normal and it would never be. That's him and he had accepted himself. He leaned in closer, his lips inches away from yours. He stopped right before he closed the gap. He takes a deep breath, taking in your scent before pulling back.
His hand goes to your shoulder, he shakes you. “Wake up, bird,” he said, his eyes softening when he saw you wake up and peer at him with confused eyes. You yawn, and sit up, your eyes wide when you look at him. You rub them with your hand and blink.
“Is there anything wrong, Coryo?” You asked softly, “Anything I can do to help.” “You should shower and eat first,” he said instead, “and next time don't sleep in. I don't like indiscipline.”
“Sorry,” you mutter, “I was finishing a book.” Your eyes flicker to him, “It's nice by the way! I will tell you about it during dinner.” He wanted to hear about it now, he wanted to pull you closer and kiss your lips, he wanted to push you into the mattress and breed you. He wanted to clean you up after and feed you every kind of feed.
He clenched his jaw, trying to get rid of such thoughts. “We'll see,” he said before walking out of the room, accidentally slamming the door. The first sign of Snow losing control.
The second sign of Coriolanus losing control was how his breath hitched when he saw you during dinner. You are wearing yet another one of his shirts (how do you even get your hands on them) and that's it. A white shirt that reached your knees, you had forgone pants and opted for shorts that couldn't even be seen. Your legs were in complete view, the same legs he wanted wrapped around his waist.
He didn't say a single comment even when it was clear you were waiting for one. ‘Were you trying to seduce him?’ he thinks, ‘Or something else.’ He felt paranoid about you wearing his shirt. Did you want him? Want him to bend you over, press your face onto the table and fuck you like you were an animal?
He felt his pants getting tighter from his thoughts, flashes of what he could do to you, what he had done to you. He couldn't focus as you talked during dinner, he made a mental note to watch the cameras later to know the words you had blessed him with.
It hits him like a wave when dinner ends and you come to him with a book. Tabs were spilling out and it was a hardcover of an old classic that he had to read during the academy.
“You once told me that you liked this book, I spent last night annotating it! I did a few finishing touches before dinner…”
That explains your attire, you were busy formatting this gift for him. He took the book from your hand, he wanted to throw it across the room, he wanted to set it on fire. It was now his most precious treasure, more important than Panem itself.
The truth he denied washes over him. Making him take a sharp breath and your eyebrows etch together in concern. He had once a girl dedicate songs for him, now he had a wife dedicating booms for him. ‘It would be a mistake,’ he told himself, ‘It won't be a mistake if I don't repeat the past.’
The desires he shoved at the back of his mind sprang forward and he made a decision. The third sign of Coriolanus surrendering to himself was that he had everyone including the guards leave the dining room. Making your eyes widen from the sudden instruction.
“Is there anything wrong-” you begin to ask before Snow interrupts you. “Here is what's going to happen now. You're gonna be on your knees, you'll take my cock in your mouth and you'll make me cum. Then I will take you to our room and I'll fuck you until you can't remember your name.”
You blink once, twice just staring into his eyes that revealed nothing before you went closer to him and got down on your knees for him. “Like this?” You asked, breathless, your cheeks flushed. He smirked, “Exactly like this, pet.”
“Now part those pretty lips for me,” he said as he unzipped his pants and set his hard cock free. He lets out a chuckle as he sees you eyeing his cock like a long-lost lover. Guess he wasn't the only one thinking about that time.
You part your mouth wide enough for him as he pushes his cock in slowly. No matter how desperate he was a gentleman for his wife. He knew better than to gag you. He stopped when his cock had completely disappeared, his length engulfed into your wet, hot mouth.
He throws back his head as his dick hits the back of your throat. He relishes the sound of your choking around his length. He lets out his groan, trying his hardest not to cum down your throat so soon. His hand is in your hair, keeping you in place like an obedient pet.
You try your best to take in a deep breath as your tongue swirls around his length as much as possible. You weren't the best at blowjobs, but you knew the sloppier the better. Saliva ran down your cheek as you tried your best to focus on his cock underside, your tongue dragging itself across a pulsing vein that reached his cockhead.
You moan around his length as the taste of pre-cum bursts in your mouth. You close your eyes and try your best, bopping your head up and down. You clenched your fist, trying your best not to gag when his cock gets deeper into your throat.
Meanwhile, Snow was a wreck of a man, the heat of your mouth ruining his capability of having coherent thoughts. You were sucking his soul through his dick it seemed to him. His fingers tangled in your locks, gripping your hair tighter as a way to anchor himself to reality.
His blue eyes dilated to almost black as he looks at you taking his cock so well. Like you were made for it. Made for his cock. Made for him. Meant to be his wife, his bird, his pet, and his love. It's destiny, he decided as he pulls you off his cock and uses his suit sleeves to wipe your mouth and chin.
‘Everything leads to this,’ he thought, as he pulled you onto his lap and pressed a kiss to your lips. The saltiness of his taste in your mouth does not deter his tongue from tasting you.
“Go to my- our room,” he whispered to you as he broke the kiss. “I'll be there soon,” he promises as he nuzzles into your neck, his lips kissing your skin. You nod and get off his lap. Your feet drag you into his room.
Meanwhile, Coriolanus takes a deep breath, trying to maintain whatever pathetic excuse of sanity he had held. It didn't work. His cock was hard enough to hurt and his brain made him think. He thinks of removing you, he thinks of keeping you. He thinks of plans to protect you, backup plans to make sure you remain untouched while still maintaining the image of the First Lady. His true possessiveness and obsession flares up in his mind.
‘It won't be a mistake if I don't repeat the past,’ he told himself, repeating that line to his head.
He takes a deep breath, a glance at the cameras shows workers and guards kept the halls clear and you were in his room and on his bed waiting for him. Waiting for him to ravish you as you kept playing with the buttons of the shirt, and your underwear on the floor. Your face was crimson but your lower lip was in a darker shade of red with how much you bitten it because of nervousness.
He lets out a huff of air before adjusting himself accordingly. Coriolanus Snow was many things, gentlemen included and gentlemen don't keep their ladies waiting.
You freeze as he enters the room. You swallow nervously, your fingers pausing on the shirt button you were playing with. He glances at the panties that were on the floor and he gives you a little smirk. “Take it all off, my wife,” he said as his hands worked to undress him. His suit was on the floor, his shirt joining it soon enough.
You have to press your thighs together as you see his skin again, a whimper escaping your lips at the sight. He was so beautiful, craved by the angels, breathed to life by the devil. Soon, his pants and boxers were getting ridden off.
You check him out, your gaze hungry. Your fingers shake with desire as you take off your (his) shirt. You let it fall, exposing yourself completely to him, like he did for you. His eyes rack you up, causing a flush to every visible inch of your skin.
“Open your legs,” he said, as he walked closer and got down on his knees for you. “I am hungry,” he said, while his lips pressed to your knee and his lustful eyes bewitched you. You had to bite your tongue to not let a moan from his mere words. You spread your legs wide, letting your cunt come into his view.
Your folds that were glistening with your arousal and your slit which was the cause of your juices fluttered around nothing from his gaze. “Exquisite,” he had whispered, the praise warming you up and making your pussy clench harder. “Eager too,” he chuckles, looking up at you but you refuse to meet his gaze.
“Have your meal,” you mumbled, embarrassed. He pressed a wet kiss to your inner thigh, making your breath hitch from the contact. A sharp moan escapes when he bites, his teeth digging into the flesh and your hand falls onto his hair. Your fingers grip the blonde locks but you don't try to push him away. Your legs tried to close around him, but his hands made sure to keep them spread as he liked it.
He pulled away, admiring the mark before he pressed another wet kiss to it. His fingers grip your thighs, they hold tight enough to leave marks too.
He takes in a deep breath, nuzzling into your thigh. Your primal scent makes him go wild, his nail digging into your skin as he brings his lips closer to your pussy. One swipe of his tongue onto your folds and he groans louder than you have ever heard him to do so.
“You taste like fucking candy,” he lets out, as his nose bumps into your clit, his tongue messily swirling around your folds, gathering as much of your juices as possible. Your legs were all on his shoulders now as he all but pressed his face, burying himself in your cunt. He takes in a deep breath through his mouth before he begins to ravish you properly.
His mouth taking in your entire pussy and sucking it with such devotion it made you see stars. He laps at your pussy, his tongue never stopping to devour you. You pulled him even closer, your thighs closing around his head. The action only made him. You couldn't see it, but his eyes rolled back from the lack of air and your taste that quickly became his favorite.
His teeth pulled at the outer lips of your pussy, making you cry out and gush more juices. He licks it all up. Before his attention goes to your little bud, his mouth kisses it at first. Then he takes your clit into his mouth to suck without any mercy.
It makes you cry out, the soles of your feet digging into his back as your hips begin to rut against his face. You have no control over your actions. You were gripping his hair so tight you were afraid that you tore away a few strands. Overwhelming pleasure attacked all of your senses as he didn't stop his merciless actions.
You arch your back, your lips moaning his name as heat begins to gather in your body. You cry out, “Close! Coryo! Fuck!” Pleads begin to leave your mouth as your hips grind faster, your clit nudged his nose as his tongue is now inside your walls, fucking you with his tongue.
Your eyes widen, and you let out a silent scream when his teeth nip your swollen clit. You lay on the bed, panting as your pussy cums on his face. Your arousal makes a mess on his face which makes you even more slick when he pulls back and gets on top of you.
You looked into his eyes, his cold blue eyes that were nearly black now. He was panting, both of your breaths mixing into the air. With whatever senses you have left, you use your palm to clean up some of the mess on his face.
As soon as you finish up, he holds your hand. His mouth on your palm with broad strokes of his tongue he licks the remaining of your juices clean. “Can't let it go to waste, my bird,” he whispered to you as he leaned down. His body caging yours or were you caging him down with your legs around his waist? He pressed a kiss to your cheek. Sweet and gentle, and so unlike him but you don't dare question his affections. May it be sweet or savory, you accept it with your arms wide open.
“Want you,” you whispered to him. “You'll have me when I see fit,” he replied, his mouth pressing open-mouthed kisses to your neck before they reached the flesh of your breasts. One of his hands squeezed your breast and his thumb rubbed circles on your nipple. His lips paid attention to the underside of it, licking the skin around the round flesh before his teeth sank in making you gasp. He sucks harshly, his hold on your breast getting rougher as he forms the mark on your skin. When he's assured that a hickey will be formed, his lips pull back and he presses a kiss to the mark.
“You're mine,” he whispered, his lips brushing against your skin before he takes a nipple into his mouth and sucks just as harshly as before. You moan, “Yours, Snow!” Your hands on his shoulders, your nails digging into his flesh. His fingers play and squeeze your other breast while he continues to suck your bud. Your cunt despite having a previous earthsharing orgasm begins to pulse with need. You whimper, “Corio, please!”
Coryo pulls away, his eyebrows etched in annoyance, as much as he likes to hear you beg, he would rather focus on his task of marking you up. He leans up and presses his lips to you. You moan into his mouth as you taste yourself on his tongue. Your fingers tangling themselves into his curls bringing him even closer to you. He breaks the kiss, “I'll teach you to be obedient later, my pet.”
You let out a whimper when he pressed a hard kiss against your lips. His hands travel down to your hips. “Get ready,” he whispered to you, “I meant my words.” I'll fuck you until you can't remember your name. Remembering his earlier words, you whine loudly, “Please!”
His hand grips your hip tightly as his other hand holds his hard cock and guides it to your entrance. Just to be a little tease, he swipes his mushroom tip all over your cunt, his cockhead bumping your swollen clit making you arch your back and your nails dig into his flesh harder, making him moan as well.
He finally pressed his tip into your slit, his cock gliding in smoothly because of how wet you were. He groans as his dick gets sucked into warmth. His head is between the space of your shoulder. He was panting, his hot breath hitting your skin as he pushed in inch by inch. Your hands are on his back, your legs around his waist as you encourage him to go deeper into you with your soft moans.
His teeth sink into your neck to stop a groan, as his cock reaches your deepest spot. While your nails drag themselves across his back to create red lines. Both of you finding ways to anchor yourself to reality, to not go insane with the pleasure you find in each other.
“Move,” you plead, “Please, Coryo, need you to fuck me. Need you!” Snow decided to have mercy on you both, his hips began to move shallowly, and he refused to completely pull back. He refused the concept of depriving his dick of your sweet, wet pussy. “Faster,” you beg, his deep thrust hits at your every spot, some you didn't even know existed. It fried at your senses, your mind going haywire, your body getting desperate for another release.
“No,” he barks near your ear, his mouth biting your earlobe before he begins to kiss your jaw and then to your collarbone. His lips suck purple and blue bruises on your skin while his hips grind into you. Making you go dizzy and insane with how his cockhead kept grazing your g-spot.
“Please, please,” you babble, “You're fucking me so good, Coryo! I can't take it, please! Fuck me harder, love!” His hips had stopped moving as he heard your words. His head leaned up to you, his lips brushing against yours as he whispered, “What did you say?”
You looked straight into his eyes, not hiding the love you had for him, letting it flow through your words and your body. “Love,” you whispered, your lips pressing a delicate kiss that could shatter everything you had built with Snow. “I love you,” you whispered. One of your hands moves to his cheek, caressing him. “You don't have to do anything in return, just know that I love you.” You smile at him, knowing it's more likely that he won't ever return your feelings.
You prepared yourself for a harsh rejection but instead, his hips begin to move again. Harder, faster than before, his cockhead kissing your cervix with his thrusts, his fingers digging into your hips marking it. You won't be able to walk later but that didn't matter.
What mattered was how perfect Coriolanus had begun to fuck you. No, it wasn't a fuck. This was something more. Something changed with your confession, something changed and will remain changed for the rest of both of your lives.
One of his hands reached upward, his fingers snaking around your throat. He pressed it in, not enough to block your breathing but enough to make you lightheaded. Your pussy which was already tight, clenched around him further making him groan right against your ear.
“Lover indeed,” he whispered, his words that you nearly missed, your heart understood what he meant. You gasp, “Kiss me.” You knew that even without him saying those words, he could love you all the same.
Snow complies, his lips clashing with yours. His hips rutting into you as his hands guide your legs into the mating press position, making you cry out into the kiss as his cock reaches even deeper than before causing a small bump into your stomach that neither of you notices.
The kiss got open-mouthed, desperate with how his tongue tangled with yours. It was filth filled with the pathetic, insanity of love you both felt for each other. His thrusts got faster, and sloppier as he was close to his end. Your cunt pulsating around his length as you too were close to shattering again.
What it took for both of you to reach the end was him breaking the kiss to whisper, “I should kill you. I should kill you for making me a lovesick fool again.”
The words even when you know can mean your doom makes you cum like nothing else. Your lips cry out as your walls begin to milk his cock for what it's worth. He groans into your mouth, letting himself feel your fluttering cunt before he thrusts into you once, twice, and finds his release. His cock spilling into you, his cum painting your insides white, marking you.
He pulls out, his back covered with scratches, his curls clinging to his forehead and his lips swollen from the kisses. You looked just as much of a mess as he did, with marks all over your body.
He thinks to himself as he lies beside you. He wasn't going to kill you now. Not in ten years or fifty but your end would only be when he decides.
He loves you after all, in his twisted way.
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tags : @stelleduarte @nowitsmissing @lifeonawhim @le-lena @justacaliforniandreamer
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felixbit · 4 months
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employee discount
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pairing: jeongin x gn!reader w. 1.5k genre: fluff, coffee shop au summary: you've been going to the same coffee shop ever since you moved to busan. you seem to be the favorite of the cute barista, jeongin, because he started giving you the employee discount. warnings: none part 2
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Moving to a new city was difficult. This much you figured out when you'd moved to Busan six months ago. Even with a job and an apartment, things seemed to still be stressful no matter how much you tried to settle in.
There were upsides to the move, though. Getting a coffee before work had seemed to slip into your routine as it did for many. Even if it would cost far less to make your favorite drink at home, it was a habit you weren't breaking any time soon. The atmosphere of a coffee shop was too pleasant to give up, and the coffee tasted marginally better.
It helped that there was this guy that worked there. The first time you'd seen him was the first time you were in the shop, so you were too busy getting yourself oriented to process just how beautiful he was. But every time you'd seen him since, you couldn't help but stare as he made your order.
His pretty smile whenever he saw you, the way his eyes would almost shut and make him look like a fox, was so endearing. He'd memorized your name by the second week of your attendance, and your regular order by three weeks. When you'd walk up to the register, he'd look like he was thinking really hard and guess a drink, sighing dramatically if he got it wrong.
Your days seemed to be noticeably worse on the days you'd get your morning drink and he wasn't there working. You knew that, of course, he was a man with a life and couldn't work every morning. But that didn't stop you from being bummed out about it. You'd yearn to see him almost all day, which made the next time you did that much sweeter.
Any friend you'd talked to since had gotten an earful about the cute barista you saw all the time. The day you learned his name, Jeongin, you might've typed it into your phone five hundred times in texts. For such a cute and endearing man, his name was equally amazing.
The way you obsessed over him almost made you feel like you were in school again. You could picture it: writing his name next to your own in the margins of your notebook with hearts around it. In truth, it was just a little barista crush. Maybe one day you'd shoot your shot, but it wasn't at the top of your priority list.
Maybe you were a little too blinded by love in the moment to notice, but the amount you were spending on coffee had gone down in the last few weeks. You didn't pinpoint the cause being from your coffee budget, so it surprised you when you'd finally figured out what was going on.
It was a day like most others. The late spring warmth was in the air, getting your final taste of the season before summer began. Just like you had every day, you got ready for work and went to the coffee shop.
Stepping inside hit you with the smell of fresh coffee grounds. The soft ambient music playing set you almost instantly into a state of comfort as you looked behind the bar to see a familiar figure. He was looking intently down at the latte art he was pouring out, so you couldn't see his face. You knew it was Jeongin.
Staring at him made you realize just how soft his hair looked. Maybe he bought a new conditioner? Either way, you stepped closer to the counter and watched as his steady hands carefully poured the white cream into the coffee mug. When you really squinted, you could make out that he was making a cute little bear face.
Just as he had finished the design and slid the mug out, calling out the customer's name, he looked up at you and grinned. You felt your stomach stir with butterflies as your eyes met. He waved a little hello as he walked with you over to the register.
"Good morning, Jeongin," You said as you smiled, your eyes looking over his name tag. The writing on it looked done by hand, and it made you wonder if it was his handwriting.
Jeongin briefly looked down at the register, tapping on the screen a few times before looking up at you again. "Good morning, y/n. How are you?"
"I'm not so bad," You shrugged, "Same as always, I guess. How are you doing?"
"Pretty good, actually! I'm moving into a new apartment soon. Got the contract all set and the deposit made," Jeongin explained, "Kind of exciting."
A flurry of questions spun through your head. You took a moment before asking, "A new apartment? Will you still be here in Busan, making coffee?"
Jeongin waved his hand, "Yeah, I'll still be around, don't worry. The new place will actually be closer to the shop," He grinned and looked you in the eye, "I'm not leaving you behind."
Your face flushed a little, but you sighed a little out of relief. "That's good to hear, I wouldn't trust anyone else to make my drink like you do."
Jeongin laughed and shook his head. "Well, I'm not going to be a barista forever.. I hope you'll find a way to cope with that."
"Don't remind me," You said wistfully, "What will I ever do without your expertise before I go to work?"
You could see him flash a look for a moment, as if he had something to say, before stopping and sighing. "I guess we'll see."
Deciding not to pry, you continued on. "Well, I guess you'll need to make my drink today to make me forget that you won't work here one day."
"I can do that," Jeongin tapped the register screen a few more times before you saw your order pop up on the small screen. You took out your card and looked up at the balance before watching it change as he pressed a button.
The price had fallen to half of what it originally showed as. Jeongin looked up at you like everything was normal, but your face only reflected confusion. Looking from the price and back to him a few times, you finally spoke up. "Wait, what did you just do?"
"Hm?" Jeongin furrowed his brows for a second, "What do you mean?"
"The price, it.." You pointed at it, your voice trailing off into nothingness. You weren't crazy, right? "What did you do to it?"
Jeongin paused for a few seconds before chuckling softly to himself. "You just now noticed?" You stared at him blankly until he continued, "I've been giving you my employee discount for like, three weeks."
You were dumbfounded, to say the least. You'd noticed you had a little more money than you expected to, but you hadn't put the pieces together as to why that was. "Why would you do that?" You asked.
He simply shrugged his shoulders and looked down for a moment. "I don't know. Maybe you're my favorite customer."
The outright admission took you by surprise and you couldn't help the smile that crept onto your face in response. "Am I really?"
"What if you are?" He looked up again and met your eyes. His voice sounded a little more confident, but you could notice a slight shake in the end.
You didn't really know what to do with that information. It would certainly explain why he'd done it, but that opened up a whole new avenue of questions. You simply inserted your card to pay for the drink, looking up at him. "That would be.. nice."
His eyes looked uncertain. You could see that he was looking at you for something, but it wasn't clear what it was. He took a breath and watched the transaction go through. He opened his mouth for a second to say something before stopping.
Leaving you hanging, Jeongin picked out the cup for your drink, writing on the order details and beginning to make it at his work station. Still confused, you decided to just watch him work as always. He was strangely precise in everything he did, always making your drinks look pretty and taste great.
You got a little lost in watching his hands work that he was pushing your drink out to you before you knew it. You snapped back into reality, seeing that he had a smile on his face as you picked up the cup with your drink. Taking a sip, you smiled at the taste. Perfect.
"Have a good day, y/n." Jeongin said as he wiped down his work station and finally turned away from you. You were positively bursting with questions but the interaction seemed to abruptly be over, so you walked towards the door while taking another sip.
As you went to take a drink, you noticed writing under your finger that seemed out of place. Moving your hand, you looked at the words in sharpie and couldn't help but laugh. Your heart stirred, turning back at Jeongin, who was totally looking back at you.
don't get me fired 01-1234-5678
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ahundredtimesover · 3 months
Text
Hold Me Closer | JJK
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Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader (ft. brother Jimin)
Genre/Tags: brother’s best friends au; slight angst, fluff, smut
Warnings: foul language, alcohol consumption; kitchen emergency; eldest child feels, adulting; explicit sexual content (making out, oral m & f receiving, unprotected sex but be safe please!); Seven JK (18+)
Word count: 19.2k
Read Part 1: Hold Me Close
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Summary: When you're asked to look after your parents' house and meet them before they go on vacation, you, Jimin, and Jungkook take the trip to your hometown of Busan and relive memories of your youth. While your new relationship has you feeling like a lovesick teenager with all the affection that Jungkook shows you, you're still you - a professional trying to make it in the corporate world, and an eldest child trying not to disappoint her parents. And that turns out to be your undoing, as a little blunder causes a rift between you and Jungkook, resulting in a trip that you might as well have messed up... Not if your brother can help it, though.
Listen to 🎵: Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional
Playlist 🎶: High School Playlist
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A/N 1: I know I said I’d be on a break but I reread Hold Me Close and found comfort in this Jungkook 🥹 so I went ahead and wrote this little piece! Whipped and comforting boyfriend JK is what I needed so I hope you enjoy this 💕
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Six - the number of work calls you’ve already taken in the last hour, with each one of them lasting one whole song. Jungkook calculates that you’ve spent half of the entire drive since leaving Seoul talking with your boss about some report that he somehow can’t complete without you, which sucks because Jungkook was really looking forward to this road trip with you and his best friend.
You groan after you hang up and the clackity clack of the keyboard continues. He was hoping to hold your hand while he drove and maybe sing with you some of your favorite songs that he put on but it doesn’t seem like those will happen anytime soon. You’re immersed in your work but he guesses you have to be; the sooner this ends, the sooner your focus will be on him and this present moment.
He finds the positive side of it at least. He gets to listen to you explain things - why the numbers are what they are, what targets you reached, and what risks you managed. It’s quite silly but it’s kind of a turn on, hearing you talk about something you know like the back of your hand, pretty much proving to your crap of a boss how good you are at your job and why you’re an asset to the company. You know your shit, and you have a classy way of making sure they know that you do. 
Six calls, and Jungkook already knows half of your project report. And perhaps he’ll know more, as the seventh one comes.
You let it ring for one, two, three times, as you hold your phone in one hand while you continue to type away with the other. 
“I swear to god, ___. If you don’t pick that up, I’m  gonna throw your phone out of this car,” Jimin, who’s comfortably seated in the backseat, growls. 
The dramatics is understandable because one, it’s Jimin and two, the constant ringing is a little bit much.
“___, I’m not fucking kiddi—”
“Hello, sir,” you finally answer, then proceed to discuss this month’s analytics and projections for the succeeding quarter.
Jungkook predicts it’s gonna take you another whole song to finish, so he instead focuses on the road and appreciates the clear skies and familiar scenery of the drive to Busan. His thoughts go to how these next several days are gonna go. There’s visiting your favorite spots growing up, going to a resort, staying in to eat and play video games, and of course, cuddling with you in your room, as you and Jimin will have your parents’ house to yourselves once they leave for their anniversary trip in two days.
His musings are disrupted though, when he looks at the rear view mirror and sees Jimin’s annoyed face blocking his view. Jungkook can’t help but laugh, especially when he hears his best friend grumbling complaints just behind him.
“Leave her be, she’ll be done soon,” Jungkook dismisses him. “They sound like important stuff.”
“She’s talking so loudly!” Jimin groans. “I just want to reminisce and sing along to our teenage emo music, Kook.”
Jungkook turns the music off. 
“There, I paused it. You can sing along once she’s done speaking on the phone,” he says.
Jimin pouts in response. “You always take her side. You weren’t like this when we were kids.”
“Well, if it means anything, I always took her side. I just never told you,” Jungkook laughs.
“Traitor.”
“I’m literally your most loyal friend.”
It’s a statement that Jimin can’t counter. Jungkook is his most loyal friend. And the most supportive. And the most dependable. And definitely the one who’s never left his side. 
When Jimin casually told their group that he likes girls and boys, Jungkook was the only one who didn’t need time to “warm up to the idea.” Jungkook was also the only one who never disappeared whenever he had a girlfriend. He was also the one who never missed a single one of Jimin’s dance showcases in college and professional shows. 
And of course, Jungkook was the one friend who took up his offer to drink that Friday afternoon, resulting in that infamous gutter incident - as you like to call it - and his subsequent unemployment and homelessness. While you, his beloved sister, were there to pick up the pieces, so was Jungkook, the way he promised he would after they became friends at 10 years old. 
Those months when Jimin was heartbroken and unsure of what he was going to do with his life, his best friend was there to make sure that he wasn’t going to lose his drive and love for dancing. His best friend is also the one constantly cheering him up about this long-distance relationship that he decided to have with Taehyung while others continue to be a skeptic.
Jungkook is that friend, and Jimin supposes he can forgive the other man every time he sides with you.
Jimin is about to complain again when you put the phone down and make one of your restrained cries. He pities you, but it doesn’t change the fact that he wishes you wouldn’t be doing your work stuff while you’re on a trip of what’s supposed to be a mini-break.
“I don’t get why you don’t pick up after the first ring,” he huffs. 
“It’s so Mr. Soo knows that I’m not easily available,” you say. 
“But you are. You answer it anyway,” Jimin rolls his eyes.
“Exactly, I’m gonna answer it anyway. Might as well make him wait for it because he needs me,” you point out. “It’s bad enough that he’s calling while I’m taking the leave he approved, so I’m just pissing him off. He doesn’t know I changed the prompt to leave me a voice message to an annoying song so he’ll have to sit through it to get to me. I already know it’s getting on his nerves.”
“Ooh, petty. I like that,” Jimin hums. 
“I know. I got that from you,” you proudly smile.
“But why are you even working?” He whines, your brother’s tone more of pity than annoyance. “It totally defeats the purpose of a leave. And you shouldn’t be indulging him!”
“Well, Mr. Soo approved this leave thinking that Chul would help him craft this report, which is based on the project that I proposed, only to realize that he doesn’t know shit about it because I wrote everything, and he just took the credit,” you explain. “I don’t want to be doing this, too, but I also just took the chance to show who’s driving the wheel, and it’s definitely me. Plus, I worked hard for that project. Working on the report at least gives me a chance to give myself credit for it.”
“Hmm, I guess you’re right,” Jimin concedes. “Your voice is just so loud.”
“I’m sorry. I just wanted to match his tone,” you say. “But he’ll be in a meeting for the next hour or so and he probably won’t need me again until then. You can turn the music back on.”
“Ugh, thank god,” Jimin groans again. “I missed my favorite song.”
He leans forward and squeezes himself in the small space between you and Jungkook. The proximity causes Jimin to smack his elbow on your face, which you know is intended, considering how much of a brat he is. So you do what you always do - flick the back of his head. 
He yells but gets over it once he manages to press the rewind button and plays the song he’s been wanting to hear. You haven’t been paying attention throughout the drive and hadn’t even known what they were listening to, but once the music comes on, a wave of nostalgia hits you.
You take the CD case you see in the compartment and scan the song list.
“Dashboard Confessional?” You read out. “Mayday Parade? Something Corporate?”
You go through 2 other CDs and look at both men questioningly. 
“These are literally plucked out of my high school playlist that I illegally downloaded,” you state, given that music streaming sites weren’t a thing over a decade ago. “Why do you have them in CDs? And did you even know these songs back then?”
“Yes, because we listened to your playlist when you weren’t around,” Jimin confesses, earning him a flick on the arm. 
“You went through my computer? You were in my room?!” You yell.
“Don’t be dramatic,” Jimin rolls his eyes. “It was a boring room, there was nothing to see. We just wanted your music because they were cool, but I’d never admit it.”
“I’m sure,” you shake your head. “But it was my ex, remember? He was a new kid from the US and he got me into these emo rock bands and I thought they were cool, too. He downloaded them illegally for me and I just jammed to those songs all the time even after we broke up.”
“We know. Jungkook and I could hear it from my bedroom,” Jimin says, “which is why we used to sneak in and listen when you weren’t around.”
“Is that why you put them in a mixtape? So you could listen to them whenever you wanted?” You ask, turning to Jungkook because between the both of them, he’s definitely the one who’d know how to do this.
“Yeah, Kook. Why did you make these mixtapes when neither of us had a portable CD player… but my sister did?” Jimin presses, cocked eyebrow and smug face on display.
You’re looking at him now, and it’s a curious look that Jungkook can’t resist.
“I just thought to put your most played ones in CDs,” he shyly admits, “and uh, planned on giving them to you before you left for college. But I chickened out so I just left them in a box in my room that I brought to Seoul. I’d forgotten all about it until Jimin raided my studio and found them.”
“You… you made me mixtapes? When you were 15?” You ask.
“___, I think I’ve established enough that I had a huge crush on you when I was a teenager,” he turns to you and laughs. 
It’s a little embarrassing even if he’s already dating you. It still feels surreal sometimes, as he thinks of his growing up years and how he always looked forward to sleeping over at Jimin’s place and then catching glimpses of you. There were the times when you’d watch movies with them in the living room, and then he’d help you clean up in the kitchen so he could spend more time with you.
That was over 10 years ago and so much has changed, but the admiration he felt for you never dwindled. There was always that image of you looking happy. He kept that version of you in his mind, even when you had your boyfriends. He just wanted to remember your smile, and now he gets to be the reason for it, like now.
“It’s just… it’s very sweet and thoughtful,” you say softly. 
“I… Well… I took interest in the things you liked. I guess that happens when you like someone.”
“Told you he’s a romantic,” Jimin nudges you. 
Between the fairy tattoo he designed and did on your shoulder, the dinner and picnic dates he takes you to despite both your busy schedules, and the way he holds you so close to him whenever and wherever he can, you can definitely say that Jungkook is a romantic.
It’s only been three months but it feels as if you’ve been dating him for longer, given the overflow of affection he’s been giving you. It’s in the way he always holds your hand and kisses you so passionately. It’s in his encouraging words and the way he spoils you with the littlest things. 
It’s refreshing to be with him. He has boyish charms that have become even sexier with his slightly long hair and the lip ring that he recently got. And whatever he’s wearing, there’s just something so comfortably sexy about him that’s both warm and exciting, and you often find yourself swarmed in butterflies whenever he talks about you.
It’s only been three months but it’s a relationship you’re still slowly being open about. Your friends were definitely surprised. Hoseok fell off the couch with all his body movements; Jin spat out his drink; Yoongi gasped, then followed it up with a teasing smirk; So-Hee and Na-eun gushed over how Jungkook treats you, and took the chance to say how he’s gotten more handsome over the years. 
You asked them if it was that shocking for you to be dating someone younger - and your brother’s best friend at that - and while they said it was a bit unexpected, what really got them was how different Jungkook is from your exes. He’s not some corporate man with ambitions, they pointed out. His life is less structured, too, given his freelancing career and gig at the tattoo parlor. He’s definitely a lot more laid-back and more casual than they’re used to. 
They were short of remarking that Jungkook’s lifestyle isn’t as stable and secure as what you normally go for, and they wouldn’t be wrong. It’s a thought you’ve had before, and something even he brought up because he didn’t want you thinking that he can’t keep up with you. But you’d been the one to point out to your friends that stability can come in different forms. With how Jungkook has been so dependable and assuring, that’s given you more security than you ever thought. 
But it’s not something that’s easy to explain. Maybe your friends could understand. They’ve made careers in different industries, after all, with short term jobs forming part of their resume. But your parents are of a different generation and mindset. Stability for them means one thing, and they raised you to want the same thing in the same way. 
Which is why it’s already been three months, and you still haven’t told them about you and Jungkook. 
“I started young,” he laughs, pulling you out of your thoughts as he takes your hand and interlocks his fingers with yours. “I used to just choose my moments of romance but with you, I’m romantic all the time.”
“Really? Does being a flirt count as being romantic?” You cock an eyebrow.
Because that’s what he is. He likes to tease and call you out when he affects you. He likes to charm and then edge you until you’re pleading for him to do more. 
“Definitely! I mean, I’m out here living my teenage dream, you know?” He winks at you. “Not just anyone gets to say that they’re dating the person they had a crush on when they were 13.”
“Oh god, here we go again,” Jimin groans, earning him a laugh from you and Jungkook.
But even if your brother fake-gags at your not-so private displays of affection, you know deep down that he’s happy for you and his best friend. The two most important people in his life found comfort in each other, and he gets to witness and bask in that. 
He also gets to brag that it all happened because of him. 
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You spend the next hour jamming to all your favorite emo rock songs because Jungkook wasn’t kidding - he really did include all of the ones you had on repeat from your playlist. It takes you back to over 10 years ago of playing the music so loud while you’re in your pajamas, jumping on your bed and singing your lungs out. They don’t really remind you of your ex-boyfriend. That was a short-lived relationship that only really had you appreciating the songs he shared and not much more. 
Your boss doesn’t reach out to you until a half hour later. He’s taken to sending you messages instead, and when he does, you’re back to typing away on your laptop, to the displeasure of both men. 
They don’t call you out this time and instead leave you be. Until, of course, it hinders you from enjoying yourself.
The car has stopped but you’re still on your laptop, double checking figures. Jimin has stepped out after telling you that he’ll throw your laptop in the ocean if you don’t stop, but Jungkook stays with you inside the car. He bops his head and hums to the music that neither of you could barely hear. He picks on his fingers and yelps at the hangnail he pulls out. He opens the window and shoos away a bug, then hangs out his head to feel the late morning sun.
“Kook, you can go out if you’re bored,” you say, your eyes still glued to your screen. “You don’t have to stay with me here.”
“But I want to,” he responds. “I’m not leaving until you do, not when you said we’re spending the week free from work and stress.”
“I just need to get this done,” you sigh, rechecking your stats for the third time and then aligning the table. “I’ll be finished soon.”
“You said that 15 minutes ago,” he points out, not wanting to sound like he’s complaining, although he might as well be. 
“It’s just—”
“You’ve done your part, babe. You’ve encoded the figures and cross-checked the targets and objectives. Writing the rest of that report and formatting it isn’t your job anymore,” Jungkook says. “You weren’t even supposed to do those. You’re not on the clock. You’re on leave, and you deserve this break.”
“I hate that I have to work, too, but it’s not something I just can’t do, not when my boss is calling and expecting me to do all this,” you groan. 
You see his eyebrows furrow and you get defensive. 
“You know what, nevermind. You work solo, you answer to no one, you don’t have to prove yourself to corporate assholes. You won’t get it.”
You sigh once more and return to reviewing the conclusion, but the sudden silence is unnerving. You glance at Jungkook and see the look on his face - it’s not sadness but disappointment, and it’s one you don’t see very often on him.
You’re about to apologize when he speaks, his voice soft and low, as if speaking is difficult for him.
“I work with so many clients on a daily basis, with more than half of them setting deadlines that they don’t even follow and demanding so many things so yes, I get it,” he says. “But I put my foot down when I need to, because I learned a long time ago that I shouldn’t let people walk all over me. I know you’re up against a lot of things and you may feel like your hands are tied but they aren’t. A break won’t hurt you. And you know you deserve it. We deserve your attention, too.”
Your heart cracks at his words. Even more at the way he looks, as you see that all he wants is to spend time with you. He’s been busy, too. He’s spent the last few nights at his studio, buried deep in his projects because he said he wanted to focus on you this week. And you know that he’ll keep his word like he always does. Jungkook is dedicated to his work but he focuses on you when he says he will. You’re the one not loyal to what you say.
“Kook, I’m—”
“Just do what you have to do,” he interjects, his eyes downcast now. “I’ll be outside with Jimin. Come out when you’re done. You like it here, so don’t worry. We won’t leave until you’ve come down.”
Jungkook exits the car before you can say anything. You watch him walk down the stony path towards the ocean.
You hadn’t even realized you’re here. 
You’re at Cheongsapo, with the pebble beach just meters away being one you all went to as kids. Jungkook’s older brother used to drive you here during summer, and you all enjoyed the calmness of the place. You used to bet on who would treat ice cream by playing rounds of stone skipping, with Jimin winning every single time. You remember how you and Jungkook taught each other how to do it, and then tag-teamed against your brother so he could finally treat you both that one time. 
Whenever you’d visit Busan during your college breaks, you’d always come down here with your friends, with Jungkook and Jimin in tow. You’d visit at sunset and hold out your sparklers, then navigate the terrain at night and laugh about who tripped and slipped on the way back. 
Jungkook’s right. You like this place. It holds so many memories of your youth, and you find yourself constantly reminiscing, as you try to recall his place in your life back then. 
You mentally smack yourself. He didn’t deserve your dismissal. He didn’t deserve the way you spoke to him. He’s been trying to help, especially with how busy you’ve been these past several weeks. You were supposed to work from home while you housesat your parents’ house but Jimin convinced you to take your untouched leaves when Jungkook decided to come, and then they both called it a mini-break.
And maybe you need it, considering that all this preoccupation with work has caused you to snap at your boyfriend when all he wanted to do was ease your mind.
So you get out of the car and head to him. 
There’s a small forest to pass through and a steep staircase to maneuver, but you manage. You look out to see Jimin already throwing stones and Jungkook standing by, reacting to every gliding pebble on the water. You spare a few seconds to admire him from the back, with his plain white shirt and light gray lounge pants, accentuating a figure that has you weak in the knees. His hands are in his pockets and his slightly long locks are in a half-bun, and he looks every bit of comfort in this place that holds so much of your years growing up.
You walk to where he is and wrap your arms around him from behind. He stills but he doesn’t say anything. You savor his natural scent and the way the tips of his hair tickle your face. You bask in the taut figure that somehow softens under your touch. Once you feel him relax a little, you tilt your head and whisper in his ear. 
“I’m sorry for snapping at you. You didn’t deserve that.”
He remains quiet and unmoving. All you can hear are the sounds of the waves and Jimin’s cheering from some meters away.
“I just got caught up with work but I’m done with it. It wasn’t right of me to neglect you when I promised I was gonna take a break and spend time with you,” you continue.
Your voice is low and Jungkook could hear your pout. Just a little bit more and he’ll give in.
“You look so hot today and I just want to—”
“Yah!” He whines, finally returning your affection and caressing your arms that are now wrapped around him tightly. “Don’t tease me.”
“Hmm, that caught your attention, huh?” You giggle, lightly kissing his neck.
He shivers at the act, and he laughs at himself for how whipped he is for you, giving in so quickly.
“You know it would,” he huffs, turning around to face you now.
You still have that pout and he just wants to kiss it off you.
“How was walking down the steep staircase?” He asks, knowing that was your only non-favorite thing about this place. 
“I tripped on a step but I’m fine,” you proudly smile now. 
“You should’ve called me,” he frowns now. 
“But you were upset with me!”
“So? Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t help you down the stairs and risk you tripping. You know how those steps are. And the pebbles can sometimes be slippery. You can trip here, too, and— what?”
“Nothing. You’re sexy when you’re worried about me,” you say nonchalantly.
“Ugh, come here,” he groans, pulling you in a hug, one that you fall into immediately. “I’ll always worry about you. And I’ll always help you, even if I’m upset.”
“I know,” you sigh. “I’m sorry again. But I’ve laid off the report now. I told Mr. Soo I shall not be disturbed anymore for the rest of my leave.”
“Good,” Jungkook hums, pulling away to face you now. “Because I really want to know what you wanted to do.”
“Ah, many things, Jeon Jungkook,” you smirk. “But I’ll maybe settle for this first.”
You lean in and kiss him - deep enough to have him moan against your lips, and you suddenly can’t wait until you can do more.
“Oh, my eyes!” Jimin squeals, prompting you to look at him with his arm covering his face.
Jungkook only laughs but you scowl at your brother.
“You’re so dramatic,” you roll your eyes. “You’ve seen worse.”
“And I’ve erased that image of my sister and my best friend swallowing each other’s faces from my mind. Please don’t remind me again,” he groans. “But anyway, are you tolerable again?”
“Yes,” you frown. “I think,” you mutter, turning to Jungkook.
“You’re alright,” he teases, before he wraps his arm around you and pulls you close. “Now Jimin here wants to reassert his dominance as the stone-skipping king. You game for a match?”
“Do I have a choice?” You cock your eyebrow.
“No. So okay, same rules,” your brother announces. “Loser treats everyone to coffee and pastry. We all know it won’t be me.”
“Brat,” you say under your breath. 
But he’s not wrong. He dominates and Jungkook ends up losing. The wink he makes tells you he let you win. And though you like to play fair, you won’t lie and say his teasing smirk definitely turned you on.
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You spend the rest of your morning enjoying iced coffee while overlooking the beach, then you head to your favorite seafood restaurant for lunch. You go to your usual market for ingredients for the week, including tonight’s dinner that your mother will be preparing. She wanted to cook for all of you before they flew out, she said, and that got you excited. 
It’s refreshing to walk through the streets and spots of your childhood and reminisce with your brother and boyfriend. The memories take on different forms this time, as Jungkook tells you things from his perspective. 
You remember that one time you scolded them for sneaking out on a school night and then picking them up at an alley with Jin driving you. Jungkook says he liked how caring and understanding you were then; you said you’d cover for them after flicking their foreheads. 
There’s that summer when you got your friends to buy from Jimin and Jungkook’s ice pop stand so they could buy these skateboards that neither of your parents wanted to get for them. Jungkook recalls how you complimented his recipe and told everyone he made them so that they’d praise him, too. 
There’s that winter when, after your brother’s begging, you had him and Jungkook join you and your friends’ bonfire night at one of your secret beach spots. Jungkook points out that you always made sure that as the youngest ones there, they were warm and well-fed. 
And then there were their sleepovers when you’d join them play video games and watch horror movies in the living room. Jungkook gushes at how pretty you looked and how you’d always prepare them popcorn and drinks. He outs you as the one who puts the blanket over him and Jimin when they fall asleep on the couch. 
“I tend to forget a lot of things but I remember when they’re about you,” he mumbles as he starts the drive to your house. “It’s just always stuck with me. Please don’t be weirded out.”
You giggle but assure him that you aren’t. You understand him - there are things and people and moments that naturally stick with you, and they’re the ones you hold dear, too. 
He was a kid with a crush and his attention was often on you, and you suppose that given how you’d felt comfortable around him then, it was also maybe natural that you’d feel the same way now that you’re both older. It just so happened that he ended up looking as attractive as he did, and that’s just an added bonus. 
Jungkook drops you and Jimin home before he drives three blocks away to his parents’ house. He’ll greet them first before heading to your place, he says, excited for your mom’s cooking that he always enjoyed. 
It’s been some time since you last saw them. They don’t always drive out to Seoul, only doing so to watch Jimin’s shows, and you haven’t had time to go home, either. Plus, you had an injured brother to take care of, and he’s also really the topic of every conversation you’ve had with them these past months. 
And there are no bad feelings there. He’s had injuries and illnesses that had them worried, and you’re pretty much as unproblematic and predictable as any eldest child could get. You think you’re that monotonous or unexciting, too, and you suppose that just meant they didn’t feel the need to check on you as much as they did with Jimin.
But you express your longing once they offer you their hugs. You say how you miss your mom’s cooking and your dad’s baking, which is code for saying that you’ve missed them, too. 
You get your stuff to your room and sigh in relief at the comfort it still gives you. Not much has changed between your double bed, your desk, your beanbag, and the large cork board of photos on your wall. You pin the Polaroids from earlier, deciding to keep the ones of you and Jungkook for your place back in Seoul. 
You huff this time, unsure how you’ll open the discussion of you dating your younger brother’s best friend to your parents. They’ve known him since he was a kid; they watched him get into all kinds of trouble with their son, and were there for his milestones, too. 
Jungkook was always Jimin’s partner-in-crime; they were two peas in a pod who went through everything together. Now it’s you and him and you don’t really know how they’ll take it. 
But you brush it off for now and think it’s a conversation for later, or maybe when they come back from their trip. You intended on telling them in person, which is why they’re still in the dark. It’s just a matter of how you’ll say it.
You head downstairs and take in the scent of seafood soft tofu stew. The two boys are already at the kitchen counter, munching on the rolled omelet that they shouldn’t even be having yet. But your mom lets them, as Jimin talks about his new agency and shows videos of him doing some choreographies.
You stand next to Jungkook, who sneakily feeds you. You don’t know why you get flustered at the act, even more when he whispers in your ear. 
“So, I finally get to see your room with your permission,” he cheekily smiles. “I promised Jimin a few rounds of Overwatch before going to you.”
You merely laugh and tell him that your dad’s asking him something.
“So, Jungkook. How has work been? Jimin tells us you’ve been getting more projects recently,” your old man asks. 
“Ah, yes, uncle,” he responds. “I’m getting more clients and exposure now. It took a while but it’s all going well.”
“That’s good. Although I always wondered why you never thought of joining a firm. Doesn’t that mean a more consistent client base? And better for you financially, too.”
“Well, I get to choose my clients and my projects as a freelancer,” Jungkook explains. “I control my time. And it allows me to take appointments at the tattoo parlor.”
“Oh, right, your hobby,” your dad nods. “I guess having multiple sources of income is the new trend these days.”
Jungkook just hums in agreement, already used to your dad’s frame of thought when it comes to a career. So are you, because it’s often the first thing he picks up on with your boyfriends. Each of your partners just happened to be working in corporate so there was never this line of questioning followed by an awkward silence. 
But Jungkook is just your brother’s best friend, as far as they know. You wonder how they’d react once you finally tell them the truth.
You don’t completely fault your dad, though. It’s less about judgment and more about practicality. He and your mom came from the generation that believed survival and security mattered more than passion. They always thought the latter could come later on in life, which is why they opened their own cafe not long ago, at a time when they were already pretty secure. You suppose it’s his way of looking out for you, which is why he’s always been concerned about your partner’s occupation.
The conversation changes, as the focus now turns to your parents and what they’ve been up to. You assist your mom in the kitchen while the men hang around, helping when they’re called upon. Jungkook stands near you, asking if you need him and attempting to feed you with a dumpling this time, but you manage to feed yourself and he merely looks at you in understanding.
Dinner is finally ready and you all head to the dining table. You take the seat next to your mom, across from Jungkook, and he looks at you curiously but you offer him an apologetic smile. You only told him that you’ll tell your parents about your relationship in person, which you planned on doing. 
That is, until your parents bring up your friends.
“Sweetie, Jin’s son is so adorable,” your mom chirps. “I saw the pictures on Facebook and the little one took after his father so much. I can imagine how happy he and his wife are.”
The topic of your dear friend and his family injects energy into you. You say how Jin’s been bragging about his mini-me but that the nursery you helped put together looks so beautiful. You were all there when his wife gave birth a few weeks ago and though you’re still unsure about having kids, you won’t deny how much it warmed your heart when Seo-yoon’s tiny fingers wrapped around your thumb. It’s not something you say though, as your mom eventually mentions Na-eun and her fiancé. 
“I read that he’s been promoted as Director of their company,” she says. 
Your dad pipes in that So-Hee’s new boyfriend is apparently the son of one of his former colleagues, and you’re quite frankly over the conversations about your friends’ partners. The insinuations aren’t lost on you.
“How do you even know these things?” You groan.
“Facebook,” your mom replies. “Of course I’m friends with all your friends. And it’s nice to know how well they’re doing since we don’t get to see them much anymore. You’ve reached that age of settling down, after all.”
“I guess,” you hum, no longer interested in the conversation. Jimin’s roll of his eyes tells you he feels the same. “Lots of good things are happening for them.”
You don’t mean to sound bitter and you aren’t. You adore your friends and genuinely love that things are looking out for them. You’re not the same person from months ago who felt lost and falling behind amongst them. Sure, things could be better career-wise, but you haven’t felt this much security in yourself and your relationship until Jungkook. Explaining why is a different thing altogether.
“What about you?” Your dad asks. “I know we’ve been calling every week to ask about your brother but we haven’t been checking in on you. I’m sorry, dear,” he continues, his eyes softening. “Is there anything new in your life?”
If the earlier conversations hadn’t happened, perhaps you’d willingly hint on the newest thing in your life, which is the relationship you have with the man currently looking at you with his doe-eyes in anticipation. 
But they did, and you know mentioning your friends’ partners was their way of subtly pressuring you about being with someone of similar stature. And you’re not really in the mood for that right now. 
So you end up doing the stupidest thing you possibly could, and that’s to lie. 
“Not really,” you say, hating the prolonged silence that follows. 
And as you look at Jungkook across from you, you see his face fall, and you hate even more that it’s because of you. 
Your lack of a follow-up prompts your parents to move on. They know that when you’re in the mood to talk, you will and when you’re quite passive, it means you aren’t. 
Your mom turns to Jungkook instead and asks him what else he’s up to other than his various jobs and looking after Jimin. He looks at you before his gaze shifts towards them.
“Not much else, auntie,” he replies. 
The crack of your heart knows you completely messed up, because if it stings like this, then you know it hurt him even more.
“Oh, is there no one special in your life?” She asks, as she often does. Given that she treats Jungkook as part of the family, she’s lost all filter when it comes to him, too. “I recently met with my friend and her daughter. She’s such a lovely young woman, Kook, she’s brilliant and oh so charming. She’s in Busan for the week, too. Do you want to—”
“Is it time for dessert?” Jimin butts in, not wanting this conversation to continue. 
He knows Jungkook wouldn’t know how to turn your mother down, and if he even slightly entertains the idea to appease her, you’d be the one upset, even if you technically put this upon yourself. Jimin already sees you a bit uncomfortable, and if there’s anything he can do to not make this worse for you and his best friend, it’s to be a brat. 
“Oh, yes. Your father made an apple pie and some ice cream,” she says. “Let me—”
“I’ll get it,” you offer, standing up from your seat now.
You don’t want to know what your mom’s other propositions would be. You’re sure she’ll find some person’s son to match you with, given that she’s done that a few times after your breakup with Namjoon. You’re also not ready for Jungkook to agree with her about meeting someone, even if you know he won’t mean it.
Which is really stupid because if you’d just told them the truth, then you’ll be having a completely different conversation, although you’re unsure if you’re ready for that one, too. But at least Jungkook wouldn’t look as upset as he does right now, as he’s resorted to picking on his food instead of finishing it, which tells you that he’s lost his appetite and that’s never a good thing. 
You go to the kitchen to slice the pie and scoop the ice cream. You do it so slowly to lengthen the time before you’re back there, only because you don’t want to know what else they’re talking about. 
You’re in the middle of cursing yourself when you feel the sting of a tiny pinch on your arm, and you yelp in pain and smack your brother’s chest in reflex.
“Ow!” You yell, frowning at the man before you and ignoring your mother’s order to “behave,” even if they’re used to you two quarreling. 
“You deserve that,” Jimin scowls at you. “Because what the fuck was that?!”
“I know,” you sigh, glancing at Jungkook who’s trying his best to be interested in what your parents are saying. “I… froze. You know what they wanted to hear, Chim. All those things about my friends’ boyfriends and what they do? I just didn’t want them to compare them to what Jungkook does if I tell them.”
“Why, what’s wrong with what he does?” Your brother raises an eyebrow.
“Nothing. It’s just… you know how focused they are on career stability and shit like that,” you try to explain. “You heard what dad was telling him earlier. I just didn’t want Jungkook to hear any underhanded comments from them and then feel bad about it.”
“And you think denying that you’re dating is any better?” He chides. “That’s literally worse!”
“I—”
“Jungkook knows how our parents are. And after you got together, he already anticipated that they’d question how he’ll be able to sustain your life together once you told them about your relationship,” Jimin explains. “He was ready for it. I doubt he anticipated this…”
You stand there, the crack in your heart getting deeper and bigger as the seconds pass. You hadn’t realized that Jungkook was already confiding in Jimin about any concerns he’d have about facing your parents. You suppose he would, given that you said you’d tell them when you saw them the one time that Jungkook asked if they knew, and you didn’t raise it again after. Living in your bubble together seemed more important, and you’d forgotten to mentally prepare yourself for this conversation.
“Chim, I fucked up,” you pout. 
If it were about anything else, Jimin would push it. It’s how you always were, and you’ve reached that point  in your relationship where you could call each other out and know it comes from a good place. But he doesn’t want to do this today, not when you’re already sad and guilty and he doesn’t want you to feel worse. He doesn’t want to take sides, even if he’ll admit that you were in the wrong, but he doesn’t want to antagonize you either.
“Hey,” he nudges your arm. “It’s not the end of the world. You’re both gonna figure it out. I don’t know how hard he’ll take this but he’s a really soft-hearted person, so just… keep that in mind, okay?”
You nod, wanting to believe that you’ll be able to fix it. 
“And don’t hate yourself too much,” your brother adds. “He’s really, really into you. I just know he won’t be able to resist you.”
You nod again but you think that just makes it worse. You doubt he expected that out of all the people to disappoint him, it would be you. Yet here you are. 
You and Jimin return to the table with the plated desserts. You hand one to Jungkook but he doesn’t acknowledge you. He doesn’t meet your eyes either when it’s all you try to do. He peacefully eats his apple pie while you feign interest at your parents talking about their recent weekend at a spa. 
When everyone’s done, he helps Jimin clean up. It’s how you know that Jungkook’s considered part of the family, as your parents don’t stop him from doing so, unlike when it comes to other guests or your friends. 
You watch helplessly as he washes the dishes, turning down your offer to help. You take the rest of the plates and walk towards him instead, standing close so you could place them in the sink. He just moves his arms to give you space then returns to his task, not sparing you a glance. 
You stay with your parents in the dining area to talk about their trip. They leave you with important documents and give you instructions should anything bad happen to them while they’re away, as they always do whenever they go on a trip. Everything is your responsibility as the eldest, they remind you. 
They finally go to their room to continue packing and you sit on the corner of the couch where Jimin and Jungkook have just finished watching some video of a guy reacting to other videos. You constantly glance at your boyfriend but he seems to be intent on not giving you attention because he’s not like this - he always wants to be close to you, needing his hand to be touching your arm or your thigh or even your hair, and his pretty eyes locked on you. But not tonight.
You recall how months ago, you avoided him because of what you started to feel. And perhaps this is how he felt then - helpless, unsure, and desperate for you to be next to him again. 
You find the tiniest bit of courage and call out his name, hoping he’d at least turn to you this time. 
“Kook, I’m—”
“Hey, we should probably play now so we finish early,” Jungkook nudges Jimin’s knee. “It’s been a long day; I don’t really want to stay up late.”
Your brother looks at you in apology as he responds to the man on his left in agreement. They both head up, leaving you rooted in your seat, wishing that Jungkook would turn around to tell you that he doesn’t mean creating this distance, but he doesn’t. 
And you wouldn’t blame him. You’d stay away from you, too.
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You end up watching Aliens on your own, crouched on your corner of the couch with the large blanket over you. You give up after an hour, once the movie starts getting intense and scary though. There’s no Jungkook to hold you during the jumpscares, or to tease you about your screaming, or to assure you that he’ll protect you from all types of monsters. 
There’s no Jungkook next to you but you want him there, and it’s another half hour later when you decide that you’re not going to bed without speaking to him. 
You hate sleeping sad and upset. You don’t like ending the day not being on good terms with him. There are so many things you want to tell him but more than anything, you just want to hold him close. He always said he liked that, because even during the times when there’s so much to say or feel, falling into each other’s arms is the easiest thing to do. It says enough. It shows enough. And you’ve both survived misunderstandings and stressful moments by holding each other, and then holding each other closer.
Walking up the stairs and towards Jimin’s room, the nerves kick in. Jungkook has been ignoring you the whole evening and you’re unsure if he’s willing to hear you out. 
But you try, as you knock on the door, your heart beating fast when it slowly opens. Your brother’s downcast eyes meet you and you don’t need to say anything else. 
He opens the door wider then turns to the man lying on a mattress on the floor.
“Kook, my sister’s looking for you.”
You glance at him, dressed in that black tank top that always made you breathless, but once again, he avoids your gaze. But he does stand up after a nudge on the foot from your brother and walks over to you.
“Can we, uh…” you gesture towards the room just across the hallway.
He doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t shut you out, which is a good thing. You take it as your cue to start walking and you hear his footsteps right behind you. 
You let him in then close the door behind him. There’s so much you want to say, like you’re sorry and that you were stupid, that you didn’t mean to deny him but that you didn’t know how to tell your parents, or what you were even nervous about. You want to say that you just want to spend tonight wrapped up in his arms and apologizing in all the ways that you can.
But instead of uttering the words, your throat dries up. Seeing him standing there with that upset and disinterested look on his face breaks you a little. So you reach out, your hands pressing gently on his chest to try to feel him, to be close to him, hopefully to hold him and make your mistake go away. 
“Kook, I…” you tremble, trying so hard to find the words.
Jungkook looks back at you, your face nervous and unsure, unlike his that’s probably still painted with disappointment. 
He still doesn’t know what to make of your denial. He’s been trying to see things from your point of view all evening, but doing so only in his head because verbalizing them, especially to his best friend, makes it sting a bit more. Maybe Jimin can explain on your behalf but that would just confirm to Jungkook one of two things - that you don’t really intend on telling your parents about both of you for whatever reason he can’t comprehend, or you don’t think he measures up to their expectations and for that, you might just think he’s not good enough for you. 
He doesn’t think he’s ready for that, so he shuts Jimin down when he asks. They watched videos earlier to have something to laugh about but he was faking it. He suggested playing a game just so he wouldn’t respond to you calling him earlier but all they’ve done since going to the room is lie in silence. 
Jungkook doesn’t want to talk about it with his best friend. And he certainly doesn’t want to talk about it with you. He doesn’t want an explanation right now. It’s not what he wants to hear. 
And it seems as if it’s something you’re even struggling to give him, as you stand there quivering, your hands slowly trying to pull him closer to you. 
It’s what you usually do when you can’t find the words to express something - when you’re stressed and frustrated, when you want to patch things up after a small misunderstanding, when you want his comfort. And he always loved it when you did. He always willingly gave you that hug and that kiss and those whispers of “it’s okay” and “we’re okay” and “I’m just here.” 
But not tonight, not when there’s this unnamed thing that’s eating him inside, and not even you can fix it. 
“I don’t… I don’t really wanna do this right now,” he mutters, taking your hands to slowly slide them off him. 
The look of hurt in your eyes is one that’ll probably haunt him for a while, but he’ll learn to deal with that. It’s better than talking with you about something that you don’t even know how to express. 
This isn’t like him. It’s not like him to be upset at you like this, to not want to comfort you, to not want to be around you. This messes him up, too, and all he can do is step away and walk out.
He doesn’t really wanna be here, he thinks to himself as he enters the room just across, to the surprise of Jimin who half expected both of you to have made up. Jungkook would go home if he only brought his keys and it wasn’t too late to ask his parents to open the door for him.
But his best friend’s floor mattress will do for now. And so Jungkook puts on his earpods and plays whatever music is loud enough to shut out the thought of you until he falls asleep. 
In the other room, you lay in your bed in complete silence. You don’t want to cry, only because he’s not there to wipe your tears away. And you don’t ever want to know what that’s like, so you don’t. You keep the tears at bay and force yourself to drift away. 
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You jerk awake the next morning to your mother knocking on your door. You promised to do errands with her today, so you get off the bed and yell out that you’ll just fix up.
“No rush, dear. I’m still having breakfast with your father. You can join us when you’re ready.”
You head down and eat the pastries that they brought from the cafe. You don’t have much appetite and these will suffice, but your mind goes to Jungkook and how he was craving kimchi fried rice and spam yesterday. 
So that’s what you make for him and Jimin. You even prepare iced coffee the way they like it. You’re about to set the dish aside for them to heat up when you hear rushed footsteps down the stairs and you know they’ve woken up.
“Wahhh, it smells so good,” Jimin exclaims as he walks over to the counter while his best friend sits on the table. “Did you make something, dad?”
“Oh, your sister cooked for you and Jungkook,” your father hums. “It’s making me hungry now.”
“There’s still some in here if you want,” you call out, with him responding that he’ll get some later.
You serve the dish in two bowls. You hand one to Jimin and then place the other in front of Jungkook without sparing him a glance. 
“Iced coffee is in the refrigerator,” you tell them. 
You hear Jimin’s little squeal before he gets them. “Where you off to?” He asks.
“I’m running errands with mom.”
“Make sure you two make it in time for dinner, okay?” Your father says.
“Of course. I can’t miss your steak, dad,” you give him a small smile. 
“Good. I prepared meat good enough for five Actually, six. I count Jungkook as two people,” he laughs. 
The thought of this comfort and familiarity hurts you because you’re the one who made Jungkook think otherwise. You see him smile at your father’s remark but you turn away when he looks your way. You know he’s still upset and you don’t want to force it if he’s not yet ready to speak with you. You also haven’t gotten over the way he pulled away from you last night, and so looking at him today is a little difficult.
“You’re still joining us at the party, right?” Jimin asks. 
Their friend, Hari, whom you know briefly dated Jungkook in high school, is celebrating her birthday tonight. Their group always looked to you as the cool sister so you’re always invited to whatever they’ve got going, and while the three of you talked about attending later, after what you did, you doubt Jungkook would want you to spoil his evening. You’re also not exactly in the partying mood for obvious reasons.
“I’ll pass, Chim,” you respond. “You guys should have a best friend night.”
You go back to your room to fix up before joining your mother to head out. 
Back in the dining room, Jimin nudges Jungkook’s knee.
“She’s still playing favorites,” he playfully rolls his eyes as he gestures to the generous amount of spam in his best friend’s bowl compared to his decent serving. 
Jungkook just hums, guilt forming that he didn’t even thank you for this because he really has been craving it. Before any of them could say anything more, your father speaks up.
“Your sister okay, son?”
“Uh, yeah? Why wouldn’t she be?” Jimin nervously answers.
“She just doesn’t seem like herself, that’s all,” your old man replies.
“Maybe it’s work. It’s been tough lately,” your brother reasons. 
“But she’s more tired and frustrated when it comes to work but that’s not what she is. Maybe it’s a guy.”
At this, Jungkook chokes on his food, and he’s glad your father doesn’t react.
“What makes you think so?” Jimin asks, his eyes flitting to his best friend.
“Hmm, it just seems different,” your father insists. “Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking on my end. She hasn’t introduced anyone since Namjoon. And I wish she would, just so we know she’s moved on, you know? And that the breakup isn’t still hurting her.”
“She has, and it doesn’t affect her anymore,” Jimin confirms, certain of at least that bit.
“Then why hasn’t she introduced anyone yet?”
“Maybe it’s because you really liked Namjoon, and he seems to be your standard so ___ is just probably just taking her time.”
“Well it’s because he’s smart and stable and very self-assured and—”
“Also very much married. And a soon-to-be father,” Jimin interjects, already being protective of you. 
He wonders now if this is how your parents talk about him to you, and that you’ve always just protected him from all of it.
“Oh,” your father sighs. “It could’ve been her.”
“But it isn’t and that’s totally fine,” Jimin exclaims. “She’s young and she’s got time. And who knows, maybe that’s not the life she wants, or at least not yet? If you could accept my version of happiness, you should be able to accept hers, too. And what does ‘stable’ even mean?”
“Someone with ambition, with a direction,” your old man explains. “Someone who’s secure and financially capable of sustaining this good life that your mom and I gave you both.”
“Those are all the things she is, too, you know?” Jimin frowns. “And also, I love you, dad, but you’re old. By that I mean your thinking is old. It’s outdated. You think stability is about prestige and money and I get that but… that’s not everything. There are other things that matter to her and if you lessened the pressure a bit, you’d see that. She’s your daughter, don’t you want her to be happy? To be loved?”
“Of course I do,” your father sighs. 
“Well then don’t let your version of what a good partner is dictate her life,” Jimin advises. “She’s a grown up, she knows what she wants and how to get it. But she’s also your daughter who doesn’t want to worry or disappoint you. What if she’s found someone who makes her happy and treats her right but she’s nervous of what you’d think because of all these expectations you have of her?”
Jimin’s eyes flit to his best friend again who’s quietly munching on his food but is clearly taking in this exchange. While Jimin still thinks you were wrong to deny your relationship, he at least hopes that Jungkook could understand what was going through your mind and it was all this. 
“Well if she has then I’d want to meet him,” your father insists. 
“And maybe you will, once she stops feeling the pressure of what she’s supposed to be for you and who she’s supposed to date,” Jimin explains. 
“I guess you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right, dad,” Jimin groans. “I lived with her for months and she just… she worries about a lot of things. It would be nice if she doesn’t worry about this. So please, stop with all the projections and underhanded remarks, okay? She sees right through you. Just let her live her life.”
A smile forms on your father’s face. It was never his intention to put all that pressure on you but he supposes you just accepted that it comes with the territory. But he realizes it shouldn’t be. His son’s right - he’s old. He and your mother worked hard so that you and your brother could have a life where you didn’t have to worry about anything, but he supposes the intention got muddled along the way. At least you and Jimin have each other.
“I know you and your sister don’t like to admit it but it’s really touching to see how similar you both are,” your father says.
“Excuse me, I’m cooler and funnier and definitely more talented,” Jimin pouts. 
“Maybe,” your old man laughs. “But she’s sat on that same chair, lecturing me and your mom about letting you live your life and now you’re doing the same. She’s your biggest advocate and your biggest protector. It’s just nice to see how you’re the same for her.”
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Running errands with your mother has always been your responsibility, but it’s once you’ve hit your late-twenties mark that you’ve come to appreciate it. 
You learn a lot about the practical stuff like insurance and emergency funds and inheritance when you accompany her to the bank. You’re also reminded that sometimes you have to spend more to make things last when she drops off her clothes at the laundry service and picks up the bag and shoes she had professionally cleaned. You also remember the important things like buying flowers and leaving them on your grandparents’ graves. 
You’ve just left the shopping center after she bought your father an anniversary gift, and her excitement over the satchel and perfume she got him has you smiling. You wonder how differently she feels for him 30 years later, and if this life they have together is everything she imagined it to be.
“Was it hard at the beginning? Being married to dad?” You ask. 
“Of course, dear,” she answers. “Because it’s how marriages typically go. Your father and I were together for two years before we got married and it was a big change. You just… learn to consider another person, and you get used to someone always being around you.”
“It’s a good thing you can stand each other then,” you chuckle. 
“That’s true,” she laughs back. “You’d be surprised to know how many married couples can’t. But we just always managed. And we had to be on each other’s side, you know? It’s the reason why we’ve lasted as long as we have.”
She looks quite emotional as she says the words and it’s probably because of what they’ll be celebrating soon but she turns to you with a smile.
“Your father’s parents wanted me to become a housewife, a stay-at-home mom who just ran the household,” she continues. “But I wanted to work so I could help my parents, and your father stood by my decision. He saw how working gave him financial freedom and he wanted that for me, too. And we just… worked hard. We fought a lot at the start because we were building our careers and raising a family but we knew it would all be worth it, as long as we stood by each other.”
“Then I suppose that’s what’s important in a partner, isn’t it?” You say. “Being dependable, being supportive, not… not what kind of career they have.”
“Well, a stable career helps,” she points out. “I mean, it’s how your father and I got to afford sending you and your brother to good schools. It’s how we could afford trips as a family and how your father and I can be secure at this age without needing much help from our children.”
“But that’s also because you worked hard, plain and simple. And you and dad had each other and overcame whatever challenges you faced together. You can’t say the same for all married couples,” you push. 
“That’s true. I mean, it wasn’t like this during our parents’ time. I guess people had less options then. The world’s changed so much, hasn’t it?”
“It has,” you hum. “Not everyone cares much about their partner’s upward mobility and stuff like that. They want to savor the good life their parents gave them. And because they work hard, too, they just want someone to enjoy it with them. You know, like me.”
There’s a beat of silence as your mother processes your words. 
“Is that why it didn’t work out with Namjoon?” She asks, reminding you that you’d only given them a general reason as to why things ended.
“We spent too much time planning for our future that we kinda lost our way,” you explain. “I guess that’s when I realized that I wanted someone to enjoy the moments with, regardless of what they do for a living. And we’ll never know what life will throw our way and I need someone who’ll stand by me, the way I’ll stand by them. You know, cheesy things like that.”
You smile to yourself as you think about Jungkook and his shameless affection that he shows in so many ways. You enjoy the cheesiness but you’ll deny it first before admitting it. But then again, he probably knows already. He pays attention to you after all. 
“Well, I suppose that’s why we wanted to give you and your brother a good and secure life, so that you can enjoy it,” your mother hums.
“Exactly. You raised us well, mom. We’re not gonna throw our lives away, however we choose to live it, and with whom,” you assure her. 
She gives you a warm smile. She takes your hand at the stoplight and caresses it. Perhaps it’s the assurance you need, too.
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You return home to your father preparing the meat for tonight’s dinner. There’s a platter of steak, vegetables, and sausages that he’s seasoning to grill, and you can imagine how happy this is gonna make Jungkook. He always liked it when your dad prepared dishes like this paired with your mom’s spicy chicken soup, and you wish you could enjoy it together. 
But you’re giving him space to feel what he feels and you’re doing the same, even if all you want to do is apologize. You haven’t had an issue quite like this, so things are a little unfamiliar to you. You tried to talk to him last night but he wasn’t ready, and you’re unsure when he will be. 
You head towards the counter and cut up the vegetables for the soup before slicing the fruits. You’re focused on your task, knowing how sharp the knives are, but it’s at the same time that your brother and Jungkook arrive. Seeing your boyfriend look as good as he does in that denim jacket-over tank top fit is so sinful; it’s a crime you’re not talking that it distracts you, and it’s what causes you to slice through your finger and yelp in pain.
“Did you hurt yourself, dear?” Your mom asks as she stirs the pot. 
“Yeah,” you say, placing your hand under running water.
You’re about to ask Jimin to get the First Aid kit from the drawer but Jungkook gets to it first, knowing where it is. 
He knows that your brother, who’s terrified of blood, won’t help you, and despite your situation, Jungkook can’t stand not helping. So he lathers an antiseptic once the bleeding has stopped, then he wraps a band-aid around it. Just like him, you focus your gaze on your finger. Or maybe you’re stuck on the way he tends to you. Or the fact that this is the most physical touch you’ve done this past day when you normally can’t take your hands off each other. 
He sighs to himself. If he wasn’t so hung up on his hurt feelings, he’d be able to tend to you better. This might not even have happened if he’d just spoken to you last night. 
But he shakes the thought away. He’s still upset. But he’ll always want to take care of you; that’s the one thing that won’t ever change.
“Thank you,” you mumble, still not meeting his eyes.
“I’ll do this,” he says, waiting for you to step aside before he takes your place. 
“Jungkook dear, do you mind helping me with the glazed potatoes after you finish that?” She asks.
“Sure thing, auntie,” he replies. 
You watch him work around the kitchen the way he’s done so many times before, and your heart stings at the sight because you want to be doing this with him, with your parents, in your family kitchen. But it’s not like you could talk to him right now, not when you don’t know how to say what you want to say. So you head outside to where your dad is grilling the meat and help him instead. 
It’s not long after when dinner is ready, and you’re seated across Jungkook again. It’s a little tense when you look at him when he looks away, but Jimin thankfully finds a way to keep the conversation light and focused on him.
Your parents insist that both men don’t need to help clean up, and Jimin asks you if you’re really not going.
“Yeah I’ll just… stay home, make sure mom and dad are packed well and just get everything in order for tomorrow,” you say, half lying. 
“Gee, you make me look like a useless child,” Jimin pouts.
“You’re alright,” you hum. “You can drive them to the airport tomorrow.”
“But mom asked Jungkook to do that.”
“Well then you could just… make them a card or something,” you shrug. 
Your brother sticks his tongue at you and you do the same. 
“Fine, we’ll head out,” he announces.
“You guys have fun,” you say softly, glancing at Jungkook before walking towards the sink to do your duty. 
You turn to your brother. “Call me if you need me to pick you up. No driving drunk, okay?”
He salutes you in response then heads out after Jungkook.
It’s uneventful after that. You help your parents with last minute packing then have a long shower. You lie on your bed and mindlessly watch some movie on your laptop hoping that you’ll fall asleep soon, and that when you wake up, you’ll find the strength to go to Jungkook and tell him that you’re sorry and that you don’t want to go another day without him. 
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“Hey, Jungkook. Dance with me.”
Jungkook looks up to find Hari and gives the same answer he’s given the last two times.
“Sorry, I’m injured,” he says. 
She raises her eyebrow as if she doesn’t believe him and he can’t blame her; he doesn’t exactly know how to act like it.
“Oh, Jimin. There you are,” she chirps as the said man approaches the table. “Dance with me.”
“Sorry, I'm injured.”
“Great. It’s my birthday and I spot two hot guys in this party without girls around them and they’re fake injured,” she scowls. “What’s up with you two?”
“I’m not in the mood,” Jungkook shrugs.
“I’m babysitting,” Jimin says, gesturing at his friend. “But Mingyu and Eunwoo are right there. Go tell them to dance with you.”
“Fine. I’ll get in line then,” she rolls her eyes then walks away.
“How come no one believes me when I say I’m injured?” Jungkook asks as he munches on the fried chicken wings his best friend got.
“Because you’re a terrible actor. People believe me because I’m believable,” Jimin hums.
“They believe you because you posted all over social media that you hurt your ankle,” Jungkook corrects. 
“Yeah but that was like, half a year ago.”
“Why are you even pretending you’re injured? You don’t have to stay with me, you know? Go to the dance floor and have fun. That’s your thing.”
“Well, maybe I’m also not in the mood because my best friend’s sulking,” Jimin frowns. 
“Gee, I wonder why.”
“You know my sister’s sorry, right?”
“She’s ashamed, that’s what she is. And I’m just supposed to live with that.”
Jimin sighs as he watches his best friend mindlessly stare out onto the dance floor. Jungkook’s probably trying to rid himself of the image of both of you dancing and kissing and having fun if you were here. He could be making sense of what he feels, or his mind could also just be completely blank right now.
But what Jimin knows is that another glass of whiskey is something that Jungkook shouldn’t be having, so he stops his best friend from ordering another one.
“You might get drunk and then you’ll call or go see her and then you’ll say things you’ll regret and then you’ll hurt her and you’ll get even more hurt and you’ll have a harder time fixing things and then it just won’t stop and you’ll feel stupid because you’re not talking over something you could easily fix,” Jimin heaves. 
It’s a lot to process but Jungkook knows that Jimin’s right. He’ll just get too emotional and won’t be able to control himself and despite what he feels, hurting you is the last thing he wants.
So he orders water instead, finishes it, then heads for the door.
“I don’t wanna be here anymore,” he says. “I need to get some air.”
They end up at a park, the one that you used to hang at with your friends in high school. Jungkook knows because he always accompanied Jimin there when you’d tell him where to meet you. It’s peaceful at this time of night and much more beautiful, too. It’s no surprise he keeps thinking that you’re right next to him, with your head on his chest and laughing at his jokes. 
“Why is this affecting me so much?” He wonders out loud. “Why am I so hurt and so stubborn?”
“Because she said something she shouldn’t have. But also because you put her on a pedestal,” Jimin answers. “She made a mistake, and you’re free to fault her for it. I mean, anytime someone we care about hurts us, it sucks like hell. But you also have to think that maybe it’s affecting you as much as it does because she’s always been faultless in your eyes and she isn’t.”
The reality is a slap on the face, but one that Jungkook thinks he needs to have. You were everything he ever wanted and these past three months have been a bliss. But now that reality hits and you have to face the pressure that’s part of your life, your humanness is showing. And that’s what he’s always liked about you, isn’t it? The imperfections and the flaws? Now that those are affecting him, it’s affecting him hard, and he’s having a hard time getting over it.
“Maybe once you accept that she’s human and not just the dream you’ve had since forever, then you’ll realize that things like that happen but she never means to hurt you,” Jimin adds. “You can’t think that she does. You learn to work it out by facing it, Kook. You have to talk about it. You have to tell her it hurts and you have to listen to what she says, and then you forgive. That’s kind of how grownup relationships go.”
“Guess I’ve never had one before, huh?”
“Maybe they just didn’t mean enough to hurt you.”
“This means everything, then,” Jungkook sighs, as things get clearer in his mind. “Because I think what hurts more now is not being next to her.”
“Great! Then can both of you patch things up now?” Jimin beams, feeling hopeful. “I hate seeing both of you sad and so stupid. Plus, my parents are leaving tomorrow and you won’t have a buffer anymore. So please just talk.”
Jungkook admits feeling touched. He knows at the end of the day, Jimin cares about him and you more than anyone, and he probably misses being around both of you at the same time. Jungkook does, too, but he misses you the most and it’s only been a day.
“Tomorrow,” he says. “I don’t know what to tell her and it’s late. She might be asleep and—”
“Now you’re just making excuses,” Jimin crosses his arms.
“Well, what if I expect her to be the one to talk to me?”
“She tried but you didn’t want to, remember?”
“That was last night. The wound was still fresh,” Jungkook pouts. 
“Oh god. I feel like I’m dealing with children,” Jimin groans.
“Imagine how we felt taking care of you,” Jungkook answers back.
“At least I was just one person,” Jimin rolls his eyes. 
“Your dramatics were equivalent to two people though.”
Both men bicker as they walk back to the car. It started to drizzle so they decided to go back to their respective homes. Jungkook could stay over at your place and maybe talk to you if he really wants to but he’s seriously just chickening out over it. 
He’s never had to make up with you because none of your previous arguments ever led to you not talking to each other, or him pushing you away. He’s never had to spend a day ignoring you. And now, there’s so much to say and so much to feel but he doesn’t know how to approach it. He’ll need tonight to sort himself out and then he’ll speak to you, maybe after he drives your parents to the airport. Or maybe on the way back. 
He drops Jimin off; 30 seconds later, he’s home, too. You’re so close but so far away just like you used to be. But at least this time he knows that when the next day comes, he’ll have a chance to just pull you close and tell you he doesn’t want to be like this ever again.
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There’s an incessant knocking on your door, and as you’re about to yell out that you’re asleep, you realize it might be Jungkook. You sit up on your bed and when the door opens and you see your brother instead, your face falls.
“It’s just me, unfortunately,” he says. “Kook’s back at his place.”
“Oh,” you sigh. “Why are you home so early? It’s like, 11.”
“Because after the third girl, his fake injury excuse wore off and people just didn’t believe him. We looked like losers sitting on the table eating chicken,” Jimin chuckles. “So we left after an hour then went to a park and I knocked some sense into him and now he’s not so upset anymore. And I’m here to knock some sense into you, too.”
“I already know I made a mistake, Chim. I’m… I’m so fucking stupid. I just… don’t want him to think that I’m ashamed of him or that I don’t think he’s enough or any of that. I mean I’m—”
“Crazy about him, right?”
“I kinda am,” you smile softly.
“Good, because so is he and he’s hoping you’d go talk to him even if he says he’ll talk to you tomorrow. Don’t waste time anymore and—”
You’re bolting off your bed and putting on your hoodie before your brother could finish his sentence. 
“If mom and dad look for me, tell them I—”
“Got attacked by a clown in the sewer.”
You look at him incredulously then realize you’re wearing yellow then you frown. 
“Just make up some excuse. I’ll… hopefully be back in the morning,” you say.
“Alright. It’s drizzling though so—”
And just like that, you’re gone.
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It takes all but 10 seconds for the rain to pour, and your hoodie and sweatpants are no match for it. You groan at your brother for underselling the weather but then again, you also should be thanking him for telling you what you needed to hear - that Jungkook’s not so upset anymore and that he’s hoping you’d speak to him. 
Much as you think you would’ve taken any chance today to patch things up, you also would’ve frozen in front of him. You suppose you needed to know he was ready for you, and if he wouldn’t tell you, then of course, Jimin would. You just really wish he had the foresight to know it would rain this hard but you’re probably asking for too much. 
But Jungkook’s place is just a few blocks from yours so you power through. When you get there, you realize that you forgot your phone, so you make the stupid decision of climbing over the short fence and then hitting your cut finger in the process. 
You have no time to feel pain though, as the next order of business is getting Jungkook’s attention. But before you can execute your plan of throwing rocks on his window, the front door opens, and you telepathically thank your brother who probably called your boyfriend to alert him that you’ll be arriving at his place wet from the rain.
“___, what are you doing here?” Jungkook asks with worry painted on his face. 
“I just… I needed to come and see you,” you manage to answer.
His face softens and you feel the hope bloom in your chest. He pulls you inside by the wrist and instructs you to quietly go up the stairs. You’re at least not drenched but you still got wet, so he leads you to the bathroom to wash up. He tells you to wait as he gets you something to change in, and he returns after half a minute with a towel and a large shirt.
“Cream and band-aid, for your wound,” he says, placing them on the counter. “My room’s the second door to the right, in case you forgot.”
You take him in, in his black tank top and shorts, his tongue playing with his lip ring the way he always does when he’s nervous. You manage to nod before he heads out, and you take a quick shower and then pull his oversized shirt over you. 
You quietly walk to his room, knocking on the door first before opening it slowly. It’s a bit dim but seeing him is all you need. After placing your clothes on the nearby chair, you look at him again. 
He looks tired and worried. He also looks like he has so much to say but he doesn’t know where to start. There’s a hint of sadness in his eyes but there’s longing, too, and you suppose he’s mirroring how you look. You feel a lot. You also want to say a lot, but you don’t know where or how to start. 
So you do the one thing you know often works. You approach him then wrap your arms around his torso. You fall into his embrace as quickly as he falls into yours, as he seems to have the same idea. You hold him tighter and pull him closer. You flush your cheeks on his chest while he buries his face on your neck. You grip his top and he does the same with yours. Your heart beats fast in longing and you feel his own do the same, too. 
There’s so much to feel and say but this is all you can do. And right now, it’s quite enough. 
You loosen your grip, but only so you could nuzzle his neck while your arms wrap around them. He feels so warm and he smells so delicate and he’s all you need.
“You knew I was coming?” You ask, turning to him
“Jimin said you were on your way without an umbrella and your phone,” Jungkook chuckles. But his face softens as he wipes the lone tear that falls down your cheek. “You’re lucky it wasn’t a typhoon or anything.”
“I had to get to you,” you mumble. 
“He also told me he wasn’t subtle in telling you to come here.”
“Well, he did say you wanted me to talk to you. And I wanted to. I just wasn’t sure if you were ready to hear me out and I was… giving you space.”
“Yeah well, I don’t know what to do with that space without you there,” he sighs, his eyes shy and absolutely adorable.
“Neither do I,” you smile. “So, uh. Will you invite me to your bed, maybe fill that space and more?”
“Of course,” he laughs, taking your hand and leading you there. 
You get under the covers and once he lies next to you, you scoot closer, hugging him again until you’re laying on top of him. But he doesn’t complain. He just hugs you back tightly, pulling you closer until he’s able to bask in your scent and the warm feel of you.
But despite the relief, you know you actually have to do the talking. You pull away and lay on your side. You take in his beauty and his softness and the way they make you feel like all is right again in the world. Your fingers trace his face, from his nose to his cheek to his lips, and he does the boyfriend thing of kissing your hand - including your cut finger - before wrapping it around his waist. He looks like he’s anticipating your words, too, so you try and hope they’re enough.
“Kook, I’m so sorry,” you start. “I… I have no excuse. I was being selfish and cowardly because I didn’t know how to tell my parents. I didn’t want to deal with what they’ll say about your job, knowing how they are and what they value and I just…”
“That’s for me to deal with though,” he says. “Because I chose this. And I’ve always known how they are but I still chose you.”
“It’s for us to deal with, and I did it so terribly,” you shake your head. “I don’t want you to think that I’m ashamed of you and what you do. That freedom, the ability to create… they’re things they don’t really understand. And I thought I knew how to make them. I just ended up denying us and that was so wrong. I’m so sorry.”
“I… I get it,” he responds, caressing your cheek now. “They worked so hard to give you this life and of course they want to make sure you’re taken care of. And for them, they only know of one way that could happen. I’d be naive to think they’ll just accept that the man who’s crazy about their daughter isn’t some corporate dude with secure employment and upward mobility in his career.”
He doesn’t miss your shy smile and the way you nibble your lip and that just triggers the butterflies in his belly. 
“But that’s for me to show them that I can take care of you, and not because you can’t do it yourself but because I want to,” he adds. “I… I wanna be that person who makes things better and easier for you and who makes you happy.”
And who makes you feel loved, he doesn’t say. That’s a conversation for another day, he thinks.
“You do,” you assure him. “And I feel it everyday. You’re good at that, and I don’t tell you enough.”
“I know now,” he smiles, leaning closer to kiss you softly. 
You return it but pull away. “Do you forgive me?”
“Of course I do,” he says, falling into the kiss that he gives again.
“Okay. I don’t wanna hurt you like that ever again.”
Your pouty face tugs his heart and he wants to tell you that none of that matters now because you’re back in each other’s arms, and that’ll always be enough for him. 
He just hums as he goes for another kiss that’s deeper this time. And when you let him push you to lay on your back as you moan against his lips, his heart soars even more. He’s missed you, and it’s definitely going to be a long night.
He hovers over you now, and he shivers when your fingers graze his neck and then his chest. You open your legs to meet his hips, and the feel of your clothed cunt against him has his brain short-circuiting. He gets in the rhythm of grinding against you while he kisses your lips then your jaw then your neck, his hand now sneaking under your shirt to fondle your breast.
It’s when he sucks on that sensitive part near your ear that you yelp in pleasure, and he immediately covers your mouth with his hand while he giggles.
“Gotta keep it down babe,” he whispers. “My parents are in the other room.”
But he doesn’t stop his kissing and you don’t really want him to.
“It’s not like you’re making it any easier,” you moan as he pinches your pert nipple.
“I’m not and I won’t, but you gotta try,” he smirks before his lips trail downward.
You’re unable to say anything once his tongue swirls around your buds. His hands wrap around your breasts that he praises, that he kisses and licks before slowly letting them go to hold onto your waist this time. He presses open-mouth kisses down your torso, his lips in tandem with your underwear that’s teasingly being removed off of you. 
You hear him let out a breathy moan as he spreads your legs wider. 
And while you know that this tender-hearted man has a cheeky streak in him, you didn’t expect for him to have his finger against his lips to shush you, knowing what he’s about to do. His smug face turns you on even more, and your breath is caught in your throat once you feel his tongue flat against your flesh, warming it up before the tip of his wet muscle swirls around your nub.
But you go along with his request, biting back your moan, even as your pussy chases his mouth for more. 
And it’s what he gives, as he dives in and sucks and bites your clit while his two fingers explore your hole. The cold of his lip ring is a contrast to how hot you feel, and it’s a sensation you can never get enough of. You whimper in silence but you manage to look at him, his eyes closed as he buries his face in your cunt. 
“Look at me,” you whisper and he follows, his gaze meeting yours. “Fuu-uuck, Kook. You feel so good,” your voice quivers.
His mouth’s full but yours is hanging open. You cover yours with your free hand while the other pulls on his long locks. He’s enjoying this so much, you can tell with the way he squeezes your thighs and moans against your skin. He follows a pace that has your body shaking, straining in intense pleasure until it gives in. You let out a low scream as your orgasm hits, and he’s right there, riding out your high with you.
He cleans you up with his tongue and then makes a show of licking your essence off his fingers before kissing you again.
“You did good,” he teases, as he caresses your cheek.
You’re about to say that so did he when bucks his hip against yours, and the feel of his hard cock against your still wet cunt ignites another fire in you. He repeats it, and it’s what has you moaning again.
“Fuck baby, I told you to keep it down,” he says, continuing his movements.
You know you can’t help it at this point, not when he’s back to licking your neck and kneading your breast.
“Whatever. Not like this isn’t new to your parents or anything,” you say. 
It’s a guess but you doubt you’re wrong.
“What? Fucking a girl in my room?” 
“Yeah?”
“But you’re the first girl I ever brought in here,” he cocks an eyebrow. 
“That’s uh, that’s kinda sweet,” you reply, your breath steadying now. 
“Yeah and well, who gets to say they fucked their childhod crush in their childhood bedroom?” He smirks again. “I can.”
He’s back to kissing you and much as you enjoy this, the itch to feel him in your mouth overtakes you, and you take the chance when he trails down your neck.
“So, can this childhood crush suck your dick?” 
“Yes, she can,” he chuckles.
He removes himself from you and leans against his bed frame. You get on your knees and pull off his boxers, salivating at the sight before you. You get on top of him, your damp lips gliding against his hard cock and his mouth drops open, an invitation for you to do what you wish.
With your movements on his hips, you focus on his neck, licking up the smooth flesh and the protruding vein that has him biting back his moan. Then you kiss him, desperately and passionately, as you slowly remove his tank top and rest your hands on his chest.
It’s your turn to trail kisses down his torso now and you give every inch of him ample attention. But when you make it further down, there’s one part of him that deserves so much more. You tease him only a little, stroking his length and kitten-licking his slit, before swallowing him whole and swirling your tongue around and all over his cock. He’s hard and thick and everything you want inside of you.
You hold back a gag while he holds back his whimpers. You stroke him relentlessly so you could watch his mouth hang open and his strained body almost folding in pleasure as his thighs tighten in your hold. 
“You like that, baby?” You hum.
“Fuck, baby, you feel so good around me. Fuck,” he keens, his voice quivering now. 
You let his sounds guide you on how hard and how deep to go, but he’s the one who stops you, as he leans close and captures your lips in a searing kiss. He pulls you back on top of him to slide down his cock and the stretch makes you moan in his mouth. 
He’s propped up on his arms for support while you move up and down, loving how he drags inside you in an angle that has your mind going hazy. You wrap your arms around his neck while he pushes upward to meet you, and somehow doing this while trying to be quiet is making the pleasure more intense.
It gets too much for Jungkook and he wants more. He wants to hit your deepest spots. He wants to be as close to you as he possibly can. He wants to swallow your moans and touch every part of your body and pleasure you in every way that he’s able. 
So he pulls you off and lays you on your side, sliding back in from behind, with your one leg raised. The angle has you keening, even more when his one hand finds your breast and the other does its work on your clit. He pushes gently then roughly, no longer caring about the odd sounds the bed is making against his wall. He wouldn’t mind making up a reason to his parents if they ask him about it. Right now, all he wants is to reach his peak with you. 
Your body is shaking in pleasure and overstimulation but you urge him, wanting to feel his seed inside you as well.
You lick his mouth. “Baby please, I want to feel your cum inside me,” you beg. “I want you so bad, fuck fuck.”
He loves it when you plead to him like this. He loves hearing what he does to you. He revels in the way your body molds into his, the way it aches to be close and to be one with him. His movements continue, and with his unrhythmic pounding against your pussy, he comes. You come right after, caused by his intense fiddling of your clit, and you feel like floating, your body in the clouds of pure pleasure.
But like always, he’s there with you, making sure you safely fall into a bed of hugs and kisses and warmth. He stays inside you as he softens, but his arms wrap around you, his face in your neck as he mumbles words of praise. 
“Fifteen-year-old me would never believe this,” he heaves as he turns you over to face him.
You giggle in response. 
“You’re crazy, you know that?”
“I do. It’s how I am with you. In the best way, of course,” he smiles his boyish smile, an interesting mix of innocent and cheeky.
“It’s the same with me,” you whisper, kissing his nose. “And 18-year-old me would never believe this.”
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You wake up the next morning to the alarm that you set on Jungkook’s phone. Your parents are leaving early in the afternoon and they wanted to prepare breakfast for all of you, and it’s a meal with them that you’re excited and a little nervous to have. 
You kiss the chest that your face is flushed against, and this elicits a groan from the man next to you. 
“Good morning, babe,” you greet, shifting up to kiss his nose this time. 
“G’morning,” he grunts.
“So, uh, we’re supposed to meet my parents for breakfast. And uh, I’m going to tell them about us.”
It’s what prompts him to finally open his eyes, and the softness in them makes your heart burst. 
“Okay,” he smiles. “I hope it won’t ruin their trip or anything.”
“It won’t,” you assure him. “I… I tried to get through to my mom yesterday. You know, just telling her the things I value and stuff.”
“Hmm. Jimin did the same with your dad. I guess I won’t be such a disappointment now, huh?”
“Shush, you’re not even that,” you pout. “I think they’ll understand.”
He mirrors your smile and there’s a giddy feeling at finally - hopefully - seeing your parents be happy for you. So you get off the bed and sneak out of Jungkook’s bedroom to go to the bathroom. 
You wash up quickly, only to make it to the hallway and find his parents standing there, wide-eyed as they look at you in surprise. You realize you’re only wearing Jungkook’s shirt that falls just above your knees and you try to cover whatever you can with your hands.
“Hi, uncle. Hi, auntie,” you shyly smile. “This, uh, this isn’t how I wanted to meet you.”
“Well, we don’t really mind,” Jungkook’s mother smiles. “We’re just glad you’re here. It’s been a while since we’ve seen you.”
“I know. I, uh, I wasn’t dating your son yet the last time I was here.”
“And that calls for a celebration, doesn’t it?” She giggles. “That boy has had a crush on you since forever. It’s funny he never believed that we knew. He wasn’t exactly subtle.”
“It’s not the first time I’ve heard that,” you laugh back.
You hear a door open and before you know it, large arms are wrapping around your waist and a mop of hair tickles your cheek. Jungkook grunts against your neck as he says that he’s finally awake, and you cringe at his parents’ amused faces.
“Kook, your parents are in front of us. This is so embarrassing.”
“Nah, they don’t mind. They’re cool,” he says.
“Yeah, and my parents aren’t,” you sigh.
“So, I’m guessing your parents don’t know yet?” His father asks.
Your pout prompts him to explain. “Well, the day after you got together, our lovesick son here told our family about both of you. But he said that you haven't told your parents yet so we’ve kept it from them ever since. It’s hard since we see them all the time but we managed.”
“Kook also told us about what happened,” his mother asks. “He was grumpy all day yesterday and we got him to tell us why he was so upset.”
“I’m sorry,” you pout again. “That wasn’t my finest moment.”
You feel Jungkook’s hold on you tighten, his way of telling you it’s all okay.
“It’s alright, darling,” she smiles. “We know how your parents are, and their reasons come from a good place. We tried to make this boy here understand them and you as well. Firstborns carry immense pressure to meet expectations; he just doesn’t get it because he’s the youngest. But it seems that it’s worked out with both of you, and we’re glad it did.”
“He couldn’t resist me,” you shrug, to his parents’ amusement. 
“Uh, you’re the one who walked through the rain to come see me,” he reminds you, his head popping out of your neck now. 
“You wanted me to.”
He tickles you in response and you’re all laughing in no time. It’s a different dynamic with his parents, as Jungkook always had a very close relationship with them. You saw it as a teenager and now, you get to be part of it, too.
They finally let you go and ask you to have dinner with them tomorrow, and that’s one meal that you’re definitely excited to have. 
You push Jungkook towards the bathroom and then return to his room to dress up. It’s shortly after when you’re both walking the few blocks to your house, fingers interlocked as you give each other comfort.
You make it home and once you unlock the door, you can already hear laughter and clanking pots from the kitchen. You head there, meet Jimin’s smug face, and clear your throat to announce your presence.
“Oh, there you are. We were wondering where you were,” your mother says. “And hi, Jungkook.”
He greets your parents and from behind you, you take his hand again. 
“I went for a walk… with Jungkook.”
He clears his throat and you backtrack.
“I mean, I, uh, was at his place. That’s where I slept.”
“Oh?” Your parents say at the same time, their eyes looking at you in confusion.
“He’s kinda my boyfriend.”
“Kinda? Babe, I think I’m more than ‘kinda’ your boyfriend,” he exclaims. 
Your parents look shocked and next to them, Jimin is laughing in his seat.
“I mean, he is my legit, actual boyfriend,” you correct. “The new thing in my life that I denied is actually him. And the person who stands by me, who makes me enjoy the moments? That’s him, too.”
Their faces soften, and somehow that’s the comfort you need. Perhaps all the talking that you and your brother have done has gotten into them. You wouldn’t be surprised if they talked about it, too.
“Why didn’t you tell us, then?” Your mother asks.
“Because he’s not what you expected,” you sigh. “And I didn’t know how you’d take it.”
“Well, he is your brother’s best friend,” she points out. 
“Who’s had a crush on me since he was a teenager,” you explain.
“That’s… not surprising,” your father laughs. “We could tell.”
“Oh my god, Kook. You are not subtle,” you elbow him. You turn back at them. “But I… I didn’t know how to tell you because you expect me to have a partner who’s part of your world, you know? And Jungkook likes his freedom. He likes his art and… he really likes me. And I happen to really like him, too.”
“He treats you well? Makes you happy? He’s someone you can depend on when things get tough?” Your father asks. 
He smiles tenderly at you and you feel like crying.
“Yes, very much,” you nod.
“Then I think he’s everything we need him to be. A good partner, I’d say.”
You let out a sigh of relief. This is all you needed to hear.
“We’re sorry if you felt like you couldn’t be honest with us,” your mother shakes her head. “I guess we just needed some reminding of what we want for you and your brother. And well, Jungkook’s shown us his heart all these years. He’s always been a part of the family and he’ll be even more.”
They’re words that Jungkook didn’t expect would get him emotional, and he hugs you from behind just to steady himself. But it’s what makes your mother walk towards him for a hug, and your father surprisingly does the same. 
“Alright, I guess it’s fitting to have this family breakfast together,” your mother says.
You all take your seats at the dining table, with yours being next to Jungkook now.
Jimin cheekily smiles. “Well, if this whole dance thing doesn’t work out, I guess I can just be a counselor or family therapist or something.”
“Just don’t call your clients ‘stupid,’” you roll your eyes.
“I won’t. That’s only reserved for you.”
And just like that, everything is as it should be.
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You get through breakfast with lots of laughter, as you and Jungkook tell your own versions of the story while Jimin butts in to tell his own. It’s heartwarming to see your parents this way, especially when they tease your boyfriend about his crush on you growing up. 
But even they admit that they’ve depended on him all these years, too, and that they don’t doubt his loyalty and commitment to you. 
You share a tense moment with him after you all drop your parents to the airport, though. Jungkook has just unloaded all their things and as they hug you goodbye, your father teases.
“Just don’t welcome us home and tell us we're grandparents already.”
Jungkook dry laughs and so do you. That’s another topic for another day, you suppose, and while you’re still unsure of having a family, you just know it’s something you’ll both talk about.
You all get home soon after to wash up. Jungkook’s excited about how you’ll spend the day now that you’re both talking again, and you suggest hanging by the beach and then going out for dinner. 
Jimin says he’ll stay home to let you two make up for the past two days and so he could have that online date with Taehyung, and you agree.
You and Jungkook end up having a really good day. 
You go to a mall and walk around. He gets you a pair of stud earrings to commemorate the day you went official to your parents and you buy him a silver chain necklace for the same silly reason, but also because he looks really good in one and you want him to have more. It pairs real nicely with the shirt and joggers casual outfit he’s been sporting these past days, and the teasing look he makes after he puts it on reminds you of that one time his necklace was dangling on your face when he was pounding into you on your couch.
You get fruit drinks and snacks at the stalls you both used to buy from as teenagers, then you head to the beach where you lounge until sunset. You wade in the water, splash each other, and then make out when there’s no one around. 
You feel so free and light, so young and hopeful. These are the moments you love having with him, the ones you like to enjoy and savor and have more of. And you know you’ll have them for the rest of this trip and when you get back to Seoul. 
Jimin joins you for dinner at a burger place, then you all buy cup noodles and beer and head to your favorite park. It’s just like how most of your nights together go, just in the outdoors. You and your brother bicker and Jungkook referees; there’s also the occasional “you’re so cheesy” comment from you to your boyfriend and Jimin’s gagging sound. 
You confirm plans for the rest of the trip. Your parents will be enjoying Hawaii for close to two weeks, and you have all that time to rest and spend time with your two favorite people. You’ll be off work. Jungkook has some projects to finalize while you do your own thing, and Jimin will be watching dance shows to get him inspired. 
But there are more beaches and parks and villages to visit. There’s also that two-night stay at a resort you’ll be having. There are other sites and restaurants to go to, and you’ll be reliving your teenage years together while making new memories.
You’re now back at home, snug in Jungkook’s arms as he leans against the bed frame in your room, with you in between his legs. 
“Today was a really good day,” you say, turning to him after he kisses your cheek.
“Today was amazing,” he hums.
He smiles as he replays the scenes of you shopping for each other, frolicking on the beach, and walking around your favorite spots. They’re all so simple and things you’ve done before but today felt so much more. There was a look in your eyes that held such tenderness and care for him. You held his hand as if you didn’t want to ever let go, as if you didn’t want him to.
“I really like you, Kook,” you mumble, almost like a confession, as if it’s not known. “I don’t know how else to say it.”
His eyes soften, as does his smile that he’s had on pretty much the whole day. But he just looks at you, and though you know he feels the same way, you want to hear him verbalize it again.
“Hey, say it back,” you nudge him. 
“I love you though,” he says after a beat of silence.
You’re now the one who looks at him, unable to say a word. 
“Are you that surprised?” He looks back at you nervously, nibbling his lip ring. “I mean, I think it’s quite obvious, just like everything I feel about you is.”
“Kook, I…” you try, but you don’t exactly know how to respond. 
You don’t doubt his feelings but somehow you can’t help but think that maybe right now, he loves the idea of you and not you, and there’s a difference.
“I think I always have but I guess I didn’t realize just how much until this whole thing happened,” he continues, wanting you to understand what he feels. “I asked Jimin why it was affecting me so much and he said it’s because I put you on a pedestal. You were this dream I’ve had for so long that I admired from a distance and now I get to be with you and you’re… human, not some flawless being who doesn’t make mistakes. So when you hurt me, I faltered. That’s on me, too. Because I… I expected too much. And I’m sorry.”
His focus is on his hands that are playing with yours before he turns to you again.
“I realized that I wanted so badly for you to want me, that’s why it hurt. I wanted to be that person you cared for and trusted and needed because you’re all that for me. And when I saw you at my door last night, nothing else mattered but you,” he continues. 
“Whatever misunderstanding or mistake or disagreement, I learned to accept them and I just wanted you, in my arms, so I could show you that you’re all I need. I’ve dreamt of you for so long and this version of you is more than I could’ve imagined. And I just… I love you, okay? It doesn’t matter how you feel. I just need you to know that I do, and I don’t think I’ll stop.”
Your heart is about to burst, and all you could do is cup his face in your hands and kiss him, hard and deep until you run out of air. You kiss him eagerly because you’re desperate for his touch. You kiss him passionately because there are things you feel that you can’t put into words yet, and this is how you tell him. 
He’s quick to follow your pace, wrapping his arms around your waist as he helps you sit on his lap. Your fingers comb through his hair and grip his top and pull him closer, all while you grind against him and moan in his mouth. 
But when he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and caresses your cheek, you go tender. 
“I love you so much,” he whispers against your lips, and all you feel is the warmth of his touch and how it’s all the comfort and security and stability that you need.
You slowly pull away and graze your nose against his. You don’t say anything else and he doesn’t expect you to. But you kiss his cheek and hug him, and you hear him sigh in relief.
He pulls away and cheekily smiles. 
“You know, there’s a song for this.”
“A—what?” You laugh.
“A song.”
He pulls away from you then stands from the bed. “Let me get it from Jimin’s room.”
You stare at him questioningly because you really didn’t think he could surprise you even more. He returns with one of his burned CDs and you ask him if he has a sex playlist or something. 
“I used to daydream about you to this,” he says, as he puts it in the CD player that your parents got you for your 17th birthday. “I listened to it after that very kiss we had and, well, we’re back home rehashing so many memories and I kinda just want to fulfill another fantasy of mine.”
He plays the song and the first notes get you all giddy and excited and nostalgic and very much turned on. 
“This was my favorite song,” you say, as you signal him to come closer.
“I know. You played it all the time, I could hear it from the other room.”
You giggle, and it’s a sound he wants to listen to forever. 
“So, what’s this fantasy of yours?” You ask, as you take your shirt off.
He licks his lips at the breathtaking sight of you, but he softens at the fairy tattoo on your shoulder, the one he customized and that you love showing off.
“Just… make love to you while this plays in the background,” he manages to say. 
Your face softens, too, and it’s a sight he also wants to see everyday of his life.
“I’m all yours, Kook. Do whatever you please.”
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It’s a week later when you tell him. 
You’d just gotten back from that short trip to a resort that had you relaxed and stuffed with food. You video called with your parents during their sunset cruise and your father once again teased about not being grandparents yet and just like the first time, you brushed it off. 
You’re lying on Jungkook’s chest as you laugh about Jimin’s terrible bowling skills. And in the silence, he asks, “does it bother you that your parents expect you to have kids?”
You knew he’d picked up on it the first time, but it’s just now that he’s bringing it up.
“A little. I try not to think about it though,” you sigh. “It’s another one of those expectations, you know? But I guess it’s a harder thing to talk to them about, that I don’t know if I want kids.”
He just hums and combs your hair with his fingers.
“Does it bother you?” You ask, suddenly feeling nervous. You know enough this is a make-or-break for many people. 
“Not really,” he says. “It’s not easy to raise a child, much less carry one, and that’s something I can’t do for you. But I guess, it doesn’t matter. We can have kids. Or not. We can have a dog or a pet tortoise or a fish, really. When I think of a future, all I see is you. The rest is just a bonus.”
He speaks of your future with such certainty. He’s always talked about enjoying the moments but the one version of a future he wants is the one where you’re with him. 
“I just want you to know that whatever you’re worried about, share it with me. I don’t want you to worry about me. We do this together. We figure it out together,” he adds. 
And just like that, the fears and pressure you feel slowly dissipate. He’s the only version of the future you want. Everything else is just a bonus. 
You turn to him with a kiss on his cheek. 
“I love you, Kook. I don’t want anyone else to love me, and I don’t want to love anybody else,” you whisper like a plea, just like a promise. 
“I’m not loving anybody else,” he kisses you. 
And it’s his own promise he makes.
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bunny584 · 4 months
Text
OBSESSED: TOJI
A/N: You’re booked. Busy. Filled to the brim with board meetings. Then your car decides to stop functioning. There’s one mechanic shop open and somehow they seem to only hire God’s sweetest eye candy. One of which keeps getting stuck in the back of your throat. Uh—I mean—
S/N: Toji Mother-Fucking (literally) Fushiguro. Idk why it took me so long to feature this green-eyed monster but I am foaming at the mouth for this AU, him, and his lil vampy co-worker. Toji girlies, can’t WAIT to rush Toji Tau Sigma this fall 🙂‍↕️
C/W: ….he’s his own CW. Mature, 18+. MDNI. 
Art credit: yashaliart_01 on insta
Music: for the love of God if you don’t listen to Obsessed x Mariah Carey I’m calling the coast guard. Reader wants to pretend Toji is not her newest vice so BAD. Ive never laughed so hard and been so painfully turned on writing a piece. SOMEONE tell me not to make this a series RN.
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“Can I get a little help here?”
Toji grabs the rag nestled in the back pocket of his heavy work cargos. Charcoal ink stains the fabric. 
Bugatti engines are such a bitch. And make a mess like one too. 
“Hello? Am I talking to a wall or..?”
And just like that, you’ve earned yourself a few more seconds of silence. 
The mechanic’s Evergreen gaze and satisfied smirk peer back at him in the mirror. Not even a second passes before you ensnare him in your fiery scrutiny. 
Ahh, yes. Just his type. 
You are mean. 
With a sexy fucking silhouette. An angry merlot painted on those beautiful, pouted lips. A fresh manicure and keys to your Benz dig into hips that have definitely stopped traffic. 
The mirror image isn’t enough of a bite. Toji needs a real taste, so he turns around to lock eyes with his new favorite unsatisfied customer. 
“Mornin, doll.” 
“Nice of you to grace me with your presence! I was starting to think no one worked here.” 
Melodramatic, the way you narrow your gaze to bring his name tag into focus. It’s hot, though. All this sarcasm and irritation. 
“—Toji? Is it?” You hiss venom. Clearly there’s a point you’re in a hurry to make. 
But..
it’s 7:13 AM on a lovely Monday morning.  Birds are singing. The Red Bull he just downed was particularly delicious. Life is good, right now. 
Toji has all the time in the world. 
He’s in no rush. Especially when a stunning, uptight, bratty little thing — sorry, career woman — like you woke up and chose him to be your personal punching bag. 
And he’s built to take hits. From fists much, much larger than yours, gorgeous.  
“Toji, it is. What can I do for you, darlin?” 
And he knew that sweet, innocent pet name would dump diesel fuel all over those pretty flames. 
You ramble off your full name as if he is going to use it. By the time he’s through with you, you won’t have any use for it either. 
His name, though. You’ll have plenty use for his name. 
“…and when the stupid thing turns on this morning, the dash light won’t turn off.” 
Toji lands on earth just in time to clasp the car keys shoved into his chest. You’re gawking at him. Expecting a fury of motion and urgency. Because your charming little fingers demand it. 
So accustomed to time stopping and starting on your watch, aren’t you? 
“You’re so pretty.” Toji responds with a shit eating grin. 
Just for the huffing and puffing you’re currently displaying. Sputtering about how unprofessional he is. And how much work you have to get done. 
Adorable. 
Toji slips past your disdain and makes his way to the front door. Matte black G-Wagon with a champagne interior. The vision of you behind the wheel, scowling at traffic, in your tailored dress and stilettos makes his cock twitch. 
“She’s a beauty.” He calls from the driver seat. 
“That’s why I bought it. Can you please pick up the pace a little?”
Both arms are folded across your chest, eyes rolling at his wasted breath stating the obvious. 
You’re going to look phenomenal when he has those defiant arms pinned above your head. He’ll diminish those daggers in your eyes to tears. And make those puffy lips whimper for mercy. 
Toji will have you begging him to pick up the pace in no time. Your snarky comment was just a test run. 
The mechanic lets out a low chuckle, his eyes scan the dash for the source of your apparent distress. 
The tire pressure gauge. 
Really, gorgeous? This is why you’re screwed so tightly this morning? 
It should take approximately 3 minutes to fix. But there’s no way Toji is letting you slip away from his skilled fingers so easily. Not when you need to be unwound.
Unraveled bit by bit until you’re a warm, sweet, puddle of manners and gratitude. 
“Alright, babydoll—“
“My name is—“
“I’ll have my guys get to workin on it, sweetheart.” 
He can play this game all day. You scoff. Temporarily placated by his promise of a fix. 
“It’s an all day job, though.” Toji’s right hand man comes into view. 
The only other guy in the shop (on the planet) to get as much play as he does without meaning to. 
Women are insane about his stupid, empty-headed, love-drunk stare. And the purple rings around his eyes like the last time he got sleep was in his mother’s womb. Always giggling and asking about “the hot one with the pigtails” and “the pretty one with the tattoo on his nose.”
If he were a less confident man, Toji would’ve called someone else over. But the kid gets his antics. 
And today is going to be stuffed with them. 
“Choso! Can you take this beauty to the back for repair?” 
Dracula’s first born is sporting his hair down today. Already a bit damp from work. He gives you a once over, then offers a smile that evaporates underwear off of women. 
“Happy to. Which beauty am I taking to the back?”
“Ha, quit your lover boy shit.” Toji teases, and you sneer at his hypocrisy. 
“The car, big guy. Have it ready by 5:00, yeah?”
“5:00 pm?” You do a thing with your hands eventually landing on your hips. And Toji’s dick leaks like a virgin. 
“Well, there must be a courtesy rental. My first meeting starts in an hour.”
“I’m so sorry, miss. We don’t have that.” 
Kamo, you slick fuck. 
Choso apologizes with his signature puppy-eyes and half open mouth. Even you, made of sharp words and soft curves. Goddess of Fire and Ice, you melt under his gaze. 
Toji snickers to himself, while you stutter to a shockingly patient understanding. 
Something about the boy looking half asleep and like he can’t string letters together to spell his own name always does the trick. Leaving you wide open for the kill. 
“Tell you what, sweetheart.” Toji moves in with an assassin’s expertise. 
“Consider me your courtesy rental.”
“I’m sorry—what?” You flicker between the two smiles, rightfully suspicious. 
“I’ll get you from point A to point B, safe and sound.” The mechanic offers again with a broad smile, dangling his own car keys in his hand. 
Pensive eyes drop down to your watch. Board meetings start soon and he is offering a courtesy ride. 
“Fine.” Finally, a little submission. 
“It’s a 10 minute drive. The high rise on the corner of Koen and Mitake street.” 
The financial district. No wonder why you’re so tightly wound. 
“I know exactly, where we are going.” Toji beams. Beating your slender fingers to the passenger door. You barely mutter a ‘thanks’ before settling into the seat. 
You in your heels. And suit jacket. And handbag that costs enough to feed a large family for 6 months. Nestled so perfectly into his passenger seat. Toji can’t help but acknowledge how hard his dick is right now. 
The career woman clearly doesn’t approve of how fast he is hurling down corner streets. But you should understand, no? Places to be, and all that jazz?
“Uh, I’m sorry, where exactly are you taking me?” You perk up. Darting those beautiful warm eyes at the very short building in front of you. 
Not the corner of Koen and Mitake street, but Toji’s favorite coffee shop about 3 blocks over. The only place in the city that can get an Americano right - La Parisian. 
Toji grins maniacally. Pulling his sports car into a front row spot. 
“Point A, darlin.”
“Look, I don’t know what kind of game you are playing but I swear—“
“C’monnn. Lighten up.” He turns to face your incredulous expression. You wear it well, by the way.
“People stand when you walk in a room.” He continues. “They’ll still stand if you’re 5 minutes late and properly caffeinated.” 
Silence. Two huffs. A bitten lower lip. And one long, drawn out sigh.
“Fine. 5 minutes, max. Then I’ve got to get going I have—“
“Meetings baby, I know.” Toji finishes you off. 
He steps out of the driver’s seat fast enough to be at your door before your fingers touch the handle. 
The two of you walk in stride (in Toji’s mind) to the cafe. It’s adorable how you beeline towards the pastry display. Salivating over the various treats. Doing the thing women do, badgering the person manning the register about nutritional details. 
As if your figure wouldn’t make any living red-blooded human being fall to their knees. 
“What can I get started for you?” The barista probes. 
“I’ll have a soy London Fog latte, please.” You flicker over to the dessert you think you’re leaving behind. 
“And?” Toji probes. He taps the glass in front of the vanilla macaroon.
Another crack in the shield. You flash him a genuine smile for 0.04 seconds before turning back to the register.
“…and a vanilla macaroon, please.” You’re cute when you’re sheepish. 
“And I’ll have the largest iced Americano you can make, thanks.” 
Toji closes out the transaction and you two mosey over to a small table by a window. Your shoulders relax with the first sip of coffee. 
A satisfied grin tugs on your chauffeur’s lips. He knew what you needed the second he laid eyes on you. 
Much to your chagrin, and Toji’s delight — conversation flows like a bottomless well between you. The second something warm and another thing sweet landed on your tongue — the shield crumbled down. 
You’re an account executive. 
You work 80+ hour weeks. 
Live in an uppity neighborhood with a Doberman named Rocky. You got him because you like walking around at night to clear your mind. Having a dog taller than you on its hind legs and probably twice your size has eased your anxiety about that. 
You have a mean sweet tooth. 
And you’re single. Have been for the last year or so. 
“And not looking to change that anytime soon.” You reiterate, tossing him a look. 
Toji holds his hands up in feigned defeat. “I wasn’t plannin’ on it, sweetheart.” 
You’ve warmed up to his pet names, albeit against your will. But you’re there. The both of you harmonize light-hearted laughter. Fitting together like missing puzzle pieces.
“Your eyes are so green.” 
A rather obvious observation of your own, after a few moments of comfortable silence. 
As if your eyes don’t bend time. 
Toji catches his breath before responding. 
“They are…your kids could have ‘em too, if you want.” 
You burst into another fit of giggles. Unknowingly driveling rogue pastry on your chin. Babbling on and on about how ridiculous he is. And how cheesy his pick up lines are.
Meanwhile, you’re sitting there all high powered and intelligent. With a smile that makes him want to be a better man than he is. 
…and pastry all over your chin. 
Yeah. 
He’s going to marry you one day. 
Toji reaches over and swipes the macaroon off your chin. A sharp gasp tumbles from your lips, staring at his fingers. Which Toji slips into his mouth. 
He’s a betting man and would put money down on the fact that the dessert tastes exponentially better off of your skin. 
“Toji!!” 
“What else can I do for you?” Each word more smug than the last. 
“You could’ve told me I had food on my face!” Bunny lines along your nose deepen when you frown and Toji’s cock throbs to life. 
“Why?” The mechanic shrugs. “I wanted to lick it off instead.” 
The choppy inhale is music to Toji’s ears. You avoid him. Like the plague. Peeling your gaze away and planting it on the side window. Under the guise of people watching. 
But Toji knows better. 
He doesn’t miss the way you struggle to swallow your last bite. Or your thighs coming together so aggressively beneath the small table, rip tides break the surface of his Americano. 
“I felt that, baby.” Toji leans in. Shameless about the way he scans your face. 
Your lips should be outlawed.
The bottom one is marginally fuller than the top, so it naturally hangs a bit open. Inviting the most vile thoughts from his cock. Toji’s rational mind went to sleep the second you climbed into his passenger seat, princess. 
“What?” You sputter, gulping down the rest of your U.K. cloudy cappuccino, or whatever. 
“I don’t know what you’re referring to.” Your voice is steady, but the fidgeting and cagey eye contact hold the truth. 
Oh, really? 
“You’re squirming in your seat.” Toji counters, unblinking. Filling as much of your personal space as he can without tipping over. 
“Quick to cross your legs—“
“Toji!” 
Is your underwear as sticky as your face is flushed? Saliva pools in one direction, warm pre-cum pools in the other. 
“You are so out of—“
“All that talkin’ and you haven’t denied it once, doll.”
Toji’s palm digs into his crotch underneath the table. You are fucking his brain smooth with the raspberry blush along your nose and high cheeks. Sure, the sarcasm and ball-busting is hot, but this? 
The Career Woman suddenly so flustered and shy? 
You’re already thawed out. All he needs to do is dive in. 
Toji blinks back to reality when you rocket up from the table at warped speed. Your fingers clumsily fondle the zipper of your purse. 
“Excuse me for a minute.” You’re halfway to the restroom stalls by the end of your sentence.
The mechanic lasers down to the serpentine curve of your hips. Your plump, perky ass is just begging to be handled. It’s a felony, the way your work dress hugs your body. 
Is he really going to do this?
Heat slams into his groin. Wave after wave of lust slowly chipping at his teetering self-control. 
You might slap him. 
Call him a goddamn pervert. 
…and just the thought of either of those things makes his dick beat against his zipper. 
Fuck it. 
Toji is slick, how he maneuvers his way over to the restrooms. Both single-use stalls occupied, he walks up to you muttering some kind of pep talk to yourself. 
“Get your shit together.” You spit out. 
Amused, Toji leans against the wall behind you. Curious about where this cute little speech is going to go. 
“He’s a rando you met at a mechanic shop. For fuck sake, are you that horny?”
“Sounds like it, baby.” Toji takes the liberty to answer. You whip your head around and crawl out of your skin. 
Eyes wider than a newborn kitten. Mouth gaping as if you’re trying to show off how much you can handle. Toji swallows a groan. He can’t lose control. Not a chance. He has to savor his first taste of you like this. And every taste after that. 
Because, the weather in Hell is a balmy 0 degrees Fahrenheit and you are his, now. 
“I—uh, I—“ Your eyes dart over to the poor soul opening the bathroom door in slow motion. 
You think you’ve found an out, gorgeous?
Toji is faster and bigger than you are. Gripping the handle of the open door, ushering you into his new lair. Still choking on the shock of him catching your admission, you look to your left and right before diving into the empty bathroom. 
“Toji I…” 
Your back hits the wall and eyes settle on your hands. Shifty and nervous. Toji palms himself at the sight of you caged in like this. 
He’s disgusting, he knows that. 
And normally, he would ask permission. Being a gentleman and all. 
But there’s something too alluring about the way you’re trembling right now. The obvious conflict written all over your face, and heaving chest…and tense thighs…
His cock can’t take another second. 
And apparently neither can you. 
Because the second his fingers cup the back of your neck and his breath grazes your mouth you crash into him. Slotting your puffy lips into his, taking him by surprise for a millisecond. 
“Oh, T-toji.” You whine into his mouth. Grasping at his shoulders that are far too wide, far too muscular for your dainty grip.
Fucking, christ. 
Hearing his name like that. 
The gorgeous, high-pitched, pathetic plea trails down his ears to his aching sex and jerks it. If his cargos were any lighter you would’ve seen the pre-pubescent mess he’s making in his pants right now. 
But they aren’t. And you don’t. 
You mewl at how Toji nips at your bottom lip. Sinking it underneath his teeth until its swells to his liking. Melting beneath his large grasp, currently riding the dizzying lines of your hips and ass. 
“You taste fucking good, baby.” Toji mumbles into your warm cavern. Licking along the warm, soft ridges. 
“Ah-T..god.” You pull away and dive into his neck. Attempting to hide your utterly fucked out daze, but he won’t let you. 
Toji palms your ass with a tenth of his strength. You yelp and jump into his arms. He takes advantage of the momentum and lifts you high on his waist. Temporarily forcing you to look down on him.
Glassy eyed. Kiss abused lips. Panting and heaving. Cupping his face like your hands were made to. 
And something tight clenches in Toji’s chest. It takes a moment for him to shake it off, but it existed.
He’ll revisit that later.
“You look good up there, babydoll.” He pants, before setting you down on the sink ledge. He catches your chin in his hand before you turn away. Rooting you in place. 
“I…Toji.” 
Moaning his name like you’re begging for him to start and stop all at once. 
Your eyes descend to his lips. Watching the smirk blossoming across his face. Distracted enough not to notice his free hand shove up your dress in one swift motion. 
Your thighs recognize his authority and melt wide open for him. He kisses your tiny whimpers while nestling between them. 
“Mmmgh g-god please.” 
“This why you were so bratty this mornin baby?” 
Toji’s index and long fingers stroke your soaked, clothed core. Thin lace panties plastered to your warm sex. You wind your hips into his fingers. Batting your eyelashes up at him as if he’s going to give you what you want so easily.
He hovers his lips over yours. Pulling away each time you lunge forward for a kiss. Pouty and frustrated, you dig your nails into his neck and grind along his stationary fingers. 
“T-Toji, please…I’m so..ahh.”
“Needy cunt just wanted some attention, mm?” 
His fingers slip past your opening, and you offer up a soprano moan that shatters to stardust. 
Hedonistic noises fill the spaces between both of your punched out gasps. You’re fucking tight. Gummy, slick walls clamp down around his knuckles when he curves up to pet your pleasure spot. 
The steel pipe between his legs throbs against his thigh. Demanding friction. But one hand is cupping your chin and the other is so pussy drunk an army couldn’t pry his fingers away. 
“T..I—I’m oh fuck I—“
Toji bites down on your bottom lip. And you clench around him. Gushing more of your sweet arousal into his palm. And he damn near laps it up with his greedy tongue. 
“Shhh baby,” he coos against your jaw. 
“Can’t have everyone hearing the Executive getting fucked open by some mechanic’s hands can you?” 
There is a delicious irony in you treating him like a punching bag no more than an hour ago and now bucking your hips on his fingers, chasing an ever elusive high.
Sandpaper lines Toji’s throat. 
He wants nothing more than to bounce you on his cock in this bathroom. Fill you up with his cum and send you to your meetings full of him. 
But you haven’t learned your lesson yet.
“What did I promise baby?” Toji strains in your ear. His hand migrates from your chin to your neck, while his fingers ‘pick up the pace a little.’
His pretty little powerhouse. 
You babble a chorus of nothing. Unable to breathe, unable to think. Only drip. And leak. And squelch around his digits. Toji tightens the grip around your pulse point. Lulling your mouth open.  
“Talk to me, princess. What did I promise you?” He probes again, stealing air from your lungs. 
Tha—y-you would…p—point A.” Barely audible syllables tumble out of you. Ascending in pitch. Your hips reflexively try to pull away from your threatened orgasm.
“Keep going, I’m listenin.” 
“Oh fuck T..Toji?! I-Im c-im gonna—”
“I know, baby.” He smears wet kisses along your jawline. “ I can hear how messy your precious little pussy is. But I didn’t give you permission to stop. Keep going.”
Your walls spasm at his command. Followed by an angelic pitiful little whine. You’re close. So close. 
“P-P-point A to—“
“Point B.” 
Toji finishes your sentence as you reach nirvana. Full body convulsions. He slots his arms around the small of your waist. And it fits like it was molded for him. Like you were sculpted for him.
And he, for you.
The mechanic burns his gaze into your skin. Riding each choppy wave of your ecstasy. Such tiny, sexy sounds. Staccato breaths fanning his lips, his chin, his neck when you try to hide from his scrutiny. 
You are a goddamn dream. 
And his future wife.
Toji guessed it when the macaroon balanced on your chin for a full 30 seconds before he swiped it away and you accused him of defamation of character. 
But now? 
Watching you saddle this stallion of an orgasm. Clawing at his back with all the desperation of a pretty little damsel in distress. 
Distress at just his fingers, alone. 
What intoxicating melody will he unlock when he laps up the honey straight from your core? How will you gasp and moan and squirm when he single-handedly re-shapes your cunt to accommodate his size? 
He has no clue. 
But Toji will spend forever figuring you out. And mastering you.
The back of your neck fits beautifully into his grasp as he coaxes you from hiding. Pupils blown out. Cheeks flushed and warm. Tendrils matted along your forehead. Before he can speak, you beat him to the punch.
Of course you do. 
“I’ve decided,” You pant. The baseline spice returning to your grin. 
“That you might just be obsessed with me, Toji.” 
Both of you share a hushed laugh. Exchanging cotton candy breaths. But then his lips accidentally brush yours and Toji can’t help but dive in for a kiss. Fucking the warm cavern of your mouth with his tongue. 
You pull away before he’s ready, with a look on your face that makes him feel like a God. 
“I might be.” Toji whispers, partially against his will. His lips find the corner of your mouth. Careful to avoid falling victim to your pout again.
“Let’s get you to the other point B, baby.” 
The car ride to your office could make anyone queasy. 
Constant banter back and forth. Full bodied laughs. You mindlessly stroking his forearm with those angelic fingers riling his cock up as if it just now discovered women. 
You let out a small sigh, with slightly dropped shoulders when your office building comes into view. Toji doesn’t know how to interpret it. But for him? Reality is coming too quickly.
“So,” You start once the both of you are out of the car. Pretty face tilting up and Toji’s dick strains against its confines.
“What do I owe you, Mr. Fushiguro?” 
The way you say his name.
It takes the will of God for Toji to bite back his original response.
“Nothin, doll.” He’s wearing the same, dumb, love-struck face Choso wears on a daily basis. Shockingly, Toji couldn’t care less. 
“The tires just needed air. Choso will drop it off in an hour.” 
He would do it himself. But the urge to park in an empty lot and abuse the fuck out of his cock until a shred of clarity re-settles in his mind is a tad bit overwhelming, sweetheart.
Then your mouth drops in an incredulous ‘Oh’ and all Toji can picture is ruining the back of your throat. How pretty you are going to be wretching around his girth. Gasping for air. Choking on his cum. 
“Toji. Fushiguro.” You like using his name, don’t you?
“You held me hostage for a whole morning for some air—“
Toji kisses the rest of your complaints off your tongue. And you whine. Slot open for him with no resistance. Because under all that irritation and sarcasm, buried within the Trojan Horse, lays your supple, delectable submission. 
And he will take every opportunity to taste it. 
“I had a great time on our first date, babydoll.” Toji rasps against your swollen lips. 
The raging erection is threatening to embarrass him. There’s not enough restraint in the world to be around you any longer. Toji nestles your voice in his back pocket. The two of you watch each other with wordless, taken aback smiles as he takes slow steps toward his sports car.
Before the mechanic sinks into the driver’s seat, he makes a promise.
“Can’t wait for our second date, Mrs. Fushiguro!”
1K notes · View notes
curryshesus · 11 months
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bts fics that radiate sheer utter brilliance
(aka my favorite fics of all time) pt. 1
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hello, hello! please make sure to show your love and support to these lovely authors if you enjoyed any of these reads as much as i did <3 note: all of these fics contain nsfw content (minors dni please). enjoy!
➺ the road to you - by @bonvoyagenoona
| ot7 x reader (tae focus) | 110k
au of all aus, best friend!taehyung, high school boyfriend!jimin, professor!yoongi, college boyfriend!jungkook, art enthusiast and city heartthrob!namjoon, barista!hobi, actor!jin, angst, fluff, smut, series
>>summary: "armed with your quick wit, creative passion, talent for storytelling, and innate understanding of your fanbase, you have met every challenge, surpassed every goal, and achieved the unimaginable. despite the earth shifting erratically under your firmly planted feet, you’ve always had a plan. you’ve made peace with the sacrifices you’ve had to make, and you’ve long forgotten the rejections and heartbreaks that came as a result. your agent keeps reminding you that you’re at the precipice of something new, that your audience is waiting for your next project with bated breath. this is usually when you thrive. so why do you feel so lost? and who can you count on from your past to help you find your way?"
➺ matilda - by @babystrcandy
| yoongi x reader | 141.8k
brother’s best friend au, f2e2f2l, slice of life, angst, fluff, eventual smut, series
>> summary: "loneliness had always been a constant for you, haunting you like a ghost; until your older brother’s best friend, min yoongi, came into your life. you both promised each other something back then - you’d always have his support and he’d always have yours. but with time and age, you weren’t sure how much that all still stood to be true."
➺ bitchin' - by @kinktae
| jungkook x reader | 49.5k
1980’s au, inspired by to all the boys i’ve loved before, e2l, fake lovers/college au, frat boy!jungkook, smut, series
>> summary: "the 80s were a time of choices. which perm was right for you? what color neon would you wear next? none of these choices, however, were more questionable than a certain deal you made with jeon jungkook."
➺ flower - by @readyplayerhobi
| hoseok x reader |
online dating au, fluff, future angst, future smut, series
>> summary: "you finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the flower dating app. one of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. what happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?
➺ suncity - by @jamaisjoons
| hoseok x reader | 17k
strangers to lovers au, vacation au, angst, fluff, smut, oneshot
>> summary: "when you’d taken a spontaneous trip to barcelona, you hadn’t expected to meet hoseok. more than that, you hadn’t expected to begin a torrid affair with him."
➺ idealizations concerning real life relations - by @venusiangguk
| jungkook x reader | 40.9k
fuckboy!jk x hopeless romantic!oc, s2l, fwb, smut, angst, oneshot
>> summary: "jungkook loves to be loved, but he doesn’t love in return."
➺ peach parfait - by @jamaisjoons
| seokjin x reader | 19k
enemies to lovers au, fluff, smut, slight angst, two parts
>> summary: "you and seokjin have always been at odds as the top two chefs at big hit academy of culinary arts."
➺ tell me no lies - by @jeongi
| jungkook x reader | 15.1k
ceo au, criminal au, robbers au, angst, smut, minimal fluff
>> summary: "you chose to rob your boss, however; you never expected to fall in love with him."
➺ concrete king - by @bratkook
| jungkook x reader | 16.7k
sweet summer romance, fluff, smut, himbo energy, two parts
>> summary: "when a cute boy in a tacky hawaiian shirt lands a trick in your honor there's no way you could ever say no to him."
3K notes · View notes
ghostfacd · 9 months
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LIVE LAUGH, SCREAM! | TOM BLYTH
pairing. tom blyth x fem!actress!reader
summary. where one comment could lead into an internet feud between tom blyth and yn avocot, resulting in them falling inlove ?!
author’s note. [ THIS TAKES PLACE BEFORE YN AND TOM STARTED DATING ] thank you to the nonnie that said yn gives off scream vibes bc they’re the reason i even made this post in the first place! 🤭
installment of this au | read for context
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ynuser scream bts (you’re welcome!)
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jennaortega did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
➥ jackchampion no but it might’ve when she stabbed u in the movie
➥ ynuser JACK 😭😭
user1 jenna flirting, jack teasing, I LOVE THIS CAST YOUR HONOR
user2 okay but literally your performance was just chefs kiss 😭 PLEASE tell me you’re starting in other movies as well bae
➥ ynuser oh thank you!! im so honored you enjoyed it ❤️ I will get back to you on your question!! 👀
➥ user3 OMGG YN IN ANOTHER FILM WOULD BE KILLER
➥ user4 well actually 🤓☝️ she was one of the ghostface in the film which means she actually was a killer
user5 @/user4 bye
tomblyth amazing film
➥ ynuser thanks
➥ user6 THANKS?? THANKS?! girl that’s tom blyth
➥ ynuser @/user6 who?
user7 no way this girl just asked who tom blyth is
➥ user8 well can u blame her tho?? he’s in like what, billy the kid or whatever? it’s not that known..
➥ user9 nah girl stars in one film and thinks she’s all that 😭
rachelzegler YOU DID SO GOOD GIRL 💕
➥ ynuser rachel my love 😭😭❤️
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tomblyth who am I? well now you know
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user10 oh he’s so fine
user11 LMFAOO is this a jab at yn not knowing who you are
user12 show that girl 🤭🤭 she thinks she’s all that after getting one acting gig
➥ user13 y’all are so obsessed with her hello..
ynuser sure. now i know
➥ user14 oh im having so much fun watching all this go down
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ynuser more bts because i love scream 6 and so should you!
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tomblyth yeah the movie’s cool and all but how abt i treat you out for dinner?
➥ user15 HELLO???
user16 enemies to lovers era ?
user17 pls lord get these two together
jackchampion say yes to the dinner invite and bring me back steak
➥ ynuser 🤨🤨
➥ jackchampion and a vanilla soda too please
user18 i love jack n yn’s friendship
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ynuser and tomblyth both posted a story!
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ynuser eating sushi and then putting on some comfy pjs is a great way to spend a day
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user19 the way tom also posted sushi pics very similar to what she’s eating…
➥ user20 WHY IS NOBODY MENTIONING THE MATCHING HOTDOG STORY POSTS AS WELL 😭😭😭
user21 pjs TOGETHER?! im afraid we’ve lost her
user22 everybody knows.. everybody knows
jackchampion splendid way to spend the day
➥ user23 what if it’s jack?? tom and yn don’t even fw each other LOL
➥ user24 true. he did ask her for dinner tho
➥ user25 who wouldn’t? she’s yn.
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Eclaté_Mode On this new episode of BTS With Your Favorites, Tom Blyth dishes on his skincare routine, how he keeps himself productive during breaks, and his internet rivalry with actress, Y/N Avocot. Full video linked in bio
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user26 THE WAY HE COMPLIMENTS YN this is definitely enemies to lovers
user27 “me and yn have exciting need to share soon” excuse me
user28 so they inlove or what
user29 yn fell inlove with a brit man it’s over for US
user30 WAIT WHAT DOES HE MEANNNN
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tomblyth well surprise. enemies to lovers much?
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ynuser nice pic send me it
user31 WAITT RACHEL HIM AND YN IN A FILM?? did not expect this..
user32 hold awn..
user33 is this confirmation they’re dating
➥ ynuser we aren’t dating.
➥ rachelzegler yet.
➥ user34 RACHEL???
rachelzegler you’re welcome for this crossover, i encouraged both of them to audition for the role
➥ user35 WE LOVE RACHEL ZEGLER
jennaortega take care of my gf 😽
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see-arcane · 5 months
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Our good friend Jonathan Harker is getting ready to leave for his business trip, Mina Murray is picking out a new journal, Lucy Westenra is charming a gaggle of smitten suitors, Abraham van Helsing is wrapping up his lectures, and Castle Dracula is prepping the guest room for a very long stay.
Which must mean that Dracula Season is here again!
 ‘Dracula Season’ being a catchall term for the voracious reading, memeing, writing, illustrating, analyzing, and general fun-having that’s ensued since Matt Kirkland’s project, Dracula Daily, caught on with us back in 2022. The Substack had already been running before then, but it sparked a conflagration as time went on and readers old and new to Bram Stoker’s Dracula—the actual novel, not Coppola’s fanfiction—devoured it in a way that scratched an itch none of us knew we had. Stoker wrote the book in epistolary fashion, clumping sections together as needed for the pacing without perfect adherence to chronological order. Matt went ahead and put all the events in order and proceeded to set up a lovely chain of emails that delivered entries on those correlating dates.
This style of organization and pacing turned out to not only make the virtual book club that much easier to engage with, but left space in-between to stew on the story and relate with the characters themselves. Every day of waiting in the book feels weightier when you have to pace and sweat and worry in tandem with poor Jonathan trapped in the castle or Lucy wasting away or Mina running out the clock before she loses the fight for her own humanity. And while we sat with the story or the lulls between Dracula Seasons, some of us found ourselves craving more of that ghastly gothic horror goodness to the point that we figured:
“Well. Why don’t I make something?”
And then we did! Tons of creative works have been churned out in the wake of Dracula Daily’s high. I figured that while we’ve still got a bit of time to wait for May 3rd, we should check out all this new stuff in the meantime. (Plus a handful of neat stuff that just clicks with the Dracula itch overall.)
So, in the interest of Dracula Season pregaming, let’s take a look at…
FICTION
Blood of My Blood – A recent addition to the Dracula Bad Ending AU pile, and definitely one of the most harrowing and addictive group-produced narratives I’ve ever come across, Blood of My Blood is the dramatically gothic currently-WIP work of @ibrithir-was-here and @animate-mush’s devious design. Give or take a heap of other fascinated folks (hello!) adding ideas to put more Horror into the Horrors that our cast has to face. The premise:
The Transylvanian climax went fatally sour and the Harkers were forced to shelter with Dracula himself, including their half-vampire son, Quincey. Cut to two decades later, and Quincey finds himself out in modern London, smitten with Lu, adopted daughter of Arthur and Jack, and diving into certain bloodstained old documents that detail the real history of how his parents came to live in the castle. Said revelations coming not a moment too soon, as a storm is coming for him straight from the Carpathians…
Dracula Daily Sketch Collection – An array of illustrations that captures every entry beat by beat, the Dracula Daily Sketch Collection by Georgia Cook, alias @georgiacooked was dished out over the course of the last Dracula Season. Some of the most fun character designs out there.
Fanfiction Spotlight: BlueCatWriter – With a whopping 99 works devoted to the novel Dracula (so far, the number may have gone up since I blinked), @bluecatwriter is one of the most prolific and talented fanfiction scribblers out there. Romances, nightmares, and overlaps between the two seem to crop up the most, give or take a crossover. Seems fitting that those blue paw prints have contributed to BoMB too.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlefolk – An ongoing comic in which all your favorite characters from the Classics section get together and tackle some perils ranging from the mundane to the monstrous. Started by the amazing @mayhemchicken and posted on @lxgentlefolkcomic, this series is a love letter to beloved Victorian era lit, with a spotlight on the two couples leading the League. Namely, the Harkers, ala Dracula, and the Nortons, ala Sherlock Holmes,’ “A Scandal in Bohemia.” Mina and Irene are the driving investigative and steering forces here, and still deeply in love with their likewise-infatuated husbands, just like in their canons! What a concept! Alan.
Without spoiling the full character list, just know there are going to be a ton of familiar faces roaming around before you finish reading the first arc. Said arc having conveniently wrapped up just a few days ago! Give the comic and its bonus silliness a look if you’re in the mood for a new comfort-adventure epic.
Re: Dracula – Probably the most well-known and incredible thing to come out of the initial Dracula Daily wave. This podcast is a full audio drama that follows the same format as the Substack, with episodes coming out in time with the entries themselves. And it has an unfairly cool soundtrack. They have a Tumblr with @re-dracula, a site and a Patreon to check out before the series kicks up again on May 3rd. (Also, keep an eye out for their next work, an audio drama in the same style with Carmilla.)
The Soldier and the Solicitor – Another treat from @ibrithir-was-here, this one involves a bit of time travel trouble. Quincey Harker has stumbled out of World War I and into the same dark forest where his father once fled for his life…then runs into the man himself, on that same night. Jonathan Harker, young and starved and lost, who has no choice but to trust this stranger while the Weird Sisters are at his heels…despite said stranger having no shadow. It’s a tasty emotional trek, already complete on Tumblr, but now it’s turning into a Webtoon. While Ibrithir is juggling a number of other stories, she’ll be redrawing spruced up versions of the comic and adding a few new scenes as things unfold.
Substack Stack – You know what’s better than one emailed-out public domain book club? A mountain of them. Just. So, so many of them. You’ll see that a lot of these are finished, but some are still ticking along. Either way, they’re all great picks if you’re craving some more old school lit to fill the void between undead emails.
Frankenstein Weekly – Frankenstein
Jekyll and Hyde Weekly – The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Voyage of the Nautilus – Twenty-Thousand Leagues Under the Sea
Letters from Watson – Sherlock Holmes
The Invisible Mail – The Invisible Man
Letters from Bunny – E.W. Hornung’s short stories of the eponymous Bunny and Raffles
Letters Regarding Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse’s Bertie Wooster short stories, including the novel, Right Ho, Jeeves
……
………
…The Beetle Weekly – The Beetle (NOTE: Do Not Read This.)
The Vampyres – A novella I finally wrenched through the gears of self-publication as of March this year. Starring a petite but powerful paranormal cast, The Vampyres, centers on an unscrupulous undead fellow who finds that the revenants of the world are being mowed down by an entity known only as ‘Quinn Morse.’ Between trying to save his neck and figure out where the shadowy bastard came from, the Vampyre in question crosses paths with a new paramour and handy human shield in the form of a grieving Good Samaritan. He’s even polite enough to invite the Vampyre into his home while he’s in dire straits! Surely this will end well. All the info is available here and a little author site is over here.
What Manner of Man – This is the one made for everyone who started out hoping there’d be a real love story with our good friend Jonathan Harker and the Count when he was at his most charismatic. Where that sea of wonders dried up into a mire of horror, What Manner of Man by @stjohnstarling keeps things firmly on the romantic tracks. This Substack stars the letter-writing priest Father Victor E. Ardelian as he finds himself meeting with one enigmatic Lord Alistair Vane. It isn’t long before interest turns into intrigue and intrigue into undead intimacies.
The entire novel has been completed—along with multiple epilogues in the author’s Patreon, allowing readers to choose for themselves just how the uncanny romance plays out in the end—and the Substack now has a number of other gothic goodies piling up in the meantime.  
NONFICTION
Dracula Daily: A Unique Reading Experience: This one comes courtesy of @realwomenofgaming. It’s a short and sweet piece that amounts to a fun snapshot of the entire Dracula Daily ride. A cozy couple-minute read.
‘Dracula Daily’ is the One Substack You Need a Subscription To: Features my favorite Matt Kirkland interview. @mattkirkland, if you’re still floating around on here, thank you for dispatching our vampire newsletter again this year.
Dracula Daily is Tumblr’s hottest new book club: Alright, the ‘new’ part is worn out by now, but this one is still a delightful article to swing back around to. Two years on, this Polygon piece is a time capsule of those early months when people outside our bookworm bubble realized we were all happily receiving letters from our favorite classic gothic horror blorbos.  
“How Mina Murray Became Dracula’s Girlfriend” – Princess Weekes, if you ever read this, thank you, thank you, thank you. I am sending oceans of love and millions of rewatches to your video essay. If you haven’t seen it yet, “How Mina Murray Became Dracula’s Girlfriend” is one of the most refreshing and well-made breakdowns of both the title subject and numerous other issues that have proliferated in the public view of Dracula’s cast and plot as adaptations endlessly warp or outright bastardize the actual novel. An incredibly cathartic watch.  
Literary play gone viral: delight, intertextuality, and challenges to normative interpretations through the digital serialization of Dracula: A mouthful of a title for an even more elaborate article about the Dracula Daily phenomenon. This one is a full-on study that analyzes just what happened within the big bloodsucker book club surge and how its ‘wandering reading practices’ enriched the experience for participants.
 “The Undying Undead: An analysis of the Dracula Daily community for a theory of online community formation and interaction” – We have a thesis on here! Look at that! @sirangelothebestest’s MA thesis used our vampiric book club as the bones for a massive brick of an academic piece that definitely deserves a look.
…And I think I’ll go ahead and cap things here.
This isn’t everything I got recommended, but if I had squashed all of it in here, I think folks’ eyes would start to fall out of their head. I hope you can find something cool to comb through here. Or, if there’s something great I overlooked, tack it onto the list! We’ve got just two weeks to go until we’re off with Mr. Harker. Let’s enjoy our respite before those castle doors close behind us.
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jobean12-blog · 7 months
Text
Claimed
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader (Mob/Mafia AU)-Bookshop setting
Word Count: 3,513
Summary: Bucky has had his eyes on you for a long time and when he finally makes a move to claim you he's delighted at how easily you fall into his waiting arms.
Author's Note: Seb's new looks have just been so yummy, especially him in a bow tie. I LOVE! The look in the pic below is the end result of the story🫠It isn't really focused too much on his mob status but it's there and I couldn't resist a little bookshop AU in there too! Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy! 🥰
Warnings: flirting, tension, Bucky is pretty forward/dom and doesn't mince words- he goes for what he wants-light d-irty talk, fing-er-ing, o-ral (f rec), but he's sweet too :)
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Your steps are slow and easy as you stroll through the aisle, perusing the titles and letting your fingers delicately slide across the bindings.
When you find one of interest you pull it from the shelf and before you read even one word you press the aged pages to your nose and inhale deeply.
The sound of a light chuckle pulls you from your aromatic reverie and you look up with a start, catching a man watching you with a lopsided smirk.
He nods a hello before disappearing down the next aisle. You stare at the space he just vacated and feel your skin heat.
Was he really that handsome or are you still recovering from the exquisite smell of the pages of the book? Only one way to find out.
With quiet movements you slip past the end of the fiction section and turn the corner, peeking around the next bookshelf. All you see is a young woman searching through the books.
Denying your disappointment you continue down the aisle but slow when you feel the weight of eyes at your back. Instead of turning around and looking too obvious you quickly glance over your shoulder and see the mystery man once again watching you.
He looks even more handsome than he did two minutes ago.
You almost walk into the woman who’s browsing and give her a startled apology before rushing off to hide in the rare book section.
Letting out a rush of breath you clutch a book to your chest and refocus on your surroundings.
“This is my favorite section.”
You spin on a gasp and blink.
“Excuse me?” you say quietly.
“This section,” he says again, “it’s my favorite. I love old books.”
“Oh,” you answer, backing away as he steps closer.
He stops advancing and looks at the shelf, studying the bindings until he finds one that interests him.
“Mine too,” you concede softly. “And they smell amazing.”
“As good as the books in the fiction section?” he asks, eyes dancing with amusement.
You let out a light huff of laughter, feeling warm embarrassment creep over your skin.
“Better,” you finally answer.
“I’d have to agree with you there,” he says before lifting the book he holds to his face and inhaling.
You can’t stop your small intake of air as you watch him savor the smell of the pages.
“So, do you come here often?” he asks, casting his gaze down to the words.
You let his question hang in the air as you take a moment to really look him over. His soft sweater does nothing to hide his broad shoulders and powerful build and his dark hair and beard frame a beautifully sculpted jaw.
Then he lifts his eyes, directing his steady gaze on you, and your breath catches in your throat.
“Um…I do. It’s my favorite book store. I can’t afford any of these books,” you say as you motion to the titles nearby, “but no one seems to mind that I come and spend the afternoon reading them.”
“I don’t see why anyone would,” he replies.
He places the book back on the shelf and slides his hands into his pants pockets, attempting another step closer.
This time you don’t move away and he smiles.
“I have quite the collection myself,” he informs you. “You should come see it.”
“Are you a collector?” you ask.
“Something like that doll.”
You school your features at the sound of the endearment falling from his perfect lips and smile.
He extends his hand.
“James Barnes. But you can call me Bucky.”
“Hi Bucky.”
You give him your name and he takes your hand in his, bringing it to his mouth and lightly brushing his lips across your knuckles before kissing them.
As you stare at him through your lashes his lips linger and he seems unwilling to let go of your hand.
“I mean it you know. You’re welcome to come see my collection…anytime.”
He slowly releases your hand with a wink then turns on his heel toward the doorway.
“But…,” you start, not even sure why you’re calling after him to ask your next question, “how will I find you?”
He turns to face you, his eyes set with determination, and says, “don’t worry doll face. We’ll be seeing each other again very soon.”
With those parting words he vanishes into the maze of books, leaving you caught between feeling frazzled and turned on.
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After several days of warm sunshine it finally ends in a wash of chilly rain and wind. But you’re warm and cozy in the back of the bookshop, curled up on one of the old leather chairs by the window, reading by the soft light of an antique tiffany lamp.
You’re so engrossed in your book that it takes you several minutes to recognize the familiar feeling of his stare and when you look up you find Bucky leaning against a nearby bookshelf, his arms crossed, watching you.
He looks just as good as he did the last time you saw him and you realize you’re staring back.
“Hey,” you whisper, clearing your throat.
“You must really be enjoying that book,” he says, a smirk pulling at his lips.
“I am. Have you read it?”
“Not this one,” he says as he steps closer and reads the title.
His nearness draws all of your attention from the book and for the first time you take notice of the small patches of gray hair that line his beard.
“It’s worth a read,” you tell him when your eyes meet his again.
“I’ll definitely check it out doll. I’m currently reading the first edition of ‘The Canterbury Tales’ by Geo…”
“Geoffery Chaucer,” you finish in a rushed breath. “Oh my god. You have a first edition!?”
Your eyes go wide with shock as you silently contemplate how much money that must have cost him.
“But…but…”
“I told you doll face, the old and rare books are my favorite.”
“I haven’t read that one yet but it’s on my list.”
“Well you’re welcome to my copy when I’m done,” he says, smiling widely when your mouth opens in shock. “But I have to warn you that when it comes to such treasures I’m a slow reader. There are some things I like to take my time with.”
As the last sentence leaves his mouth he unabashedly lets his eyes sweep over you. When your head dips to your book under his obvious perusal he presses his fingers under your chin to lift your gaze.
“Can I get you a coffee?”
“A coffee?” you repeat, all rational thought leaving your brain at the feel of his touch.
“They just put a fresh pot on up front.”
“Oh, right. That would be great thank you, let me just get my wallet.”
“No doll. I’ll pay.”
“Well, I don’t mind at all…”
“And I do,” he says definitively. “I offered and I’ll pay.”
“Thanks,” you whisper.
When he returns with two steaming cups of coffee you sigh in contentment.
“Are you always this much of a gentleman to the women you meet in bookshops?”
You ask the question with a playful smile but when his expression doesn’t match yours you instantly regret opening your mouth, your smile wavering.
“Despite my offering, I’m having a very difficult time remembering to be a gentleman around you doll.”
“Well maybe I shouldn’t be accepting this coffee then.”
Even though your voice is little more than a whisper you make no move to give him back the drink and instead you lean in closer.
“Maybe you shouldn’t,” he murmurs.
Your breathing accelerates before you take a slow sip of the coffee.
“And maybe I like the coffee too much to give it back.”
“I just warned you that I’m having a difficult time being a gentleman. Are you provoking me doll?”
Your tongue darts out to trace the outline of your lips, the taste of coffee still lingering. “Is that what I’m doing?”
His eyes track the movement and he rubs the pad of his thumb across your bottom lip, looking pleased when you inhale sharply but don’t pull away.
“Let me be clear here doll, since it seems like you enjoy playing this little game with me. I want you underneath me in my bed. I want to be buried so deep inside you that you’ll feel me for days. And I want to mark you so every other man who walks this Earth knows you’re mine.”
Your eyes widen with every word he utters and you feel goosebumps crawl over your skin when he tilts his head and moves closer until his warm breath fans your cheek.
“I just want to be up-front with you. Enjoy the coffee.”
He forces himself away, removing his hand and stepping back. And once again leaves with nothing more that the sound of his retreating footsteps.
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Life keeps you busy for the next two days but Bucky’s words are ever present, practically burned into your skin. So when you step back into the bookshop on Saturday evening you take solace in the familiar smells and sounds.
You wave hello to the barista and cashier, noticing their slight mischievous smiles as you pass by. You’re about to ask them what’s going on but then you see him and you know. Even among the shelves of beautiful books and warm lighting he stands out, his eyes boring into you.
The way he stands exudes a quiet confidence and a slow roll of heat eases it’s way through you when his unwavering stare moves over every inch of you.
Lifting your chin you hold his gaze and take your time getting your own eyeful. His button-down shirt is fitted just right with the top buttons open to reveal a gold chain and his long legs are clad in dark jeans.
He looks dangerous and sexy. And pissed.
You move toward him undeterred until you’re close enough to feel the heat radiating off him.
“Are you here to give me more warnings?” you ask.
He keeps his gaze locked on you and licks his lips.
“No. I think I was perfectly clear the first-time doll.”
“Is something bothering you, Bucky?”
“Where have you been?”
You would laugh at his nonresponse if your irritation weren’t growing hotter by the second.
“I’ve been busy. You know…work, errands…life.”
“I’ve missed you.”
You’re taken aback by his blunt and unexpected answer and can’t find the words to respond.
“I was afraid you didn’t want to see me again after what I said.”
You think back on his words for only the millionth time since he said them. An involuntary shiver runs down your spine at the memory.
“Did you get me a coffee today?”
His eyes light up in victory before he reaches behind him and hands you a cup, the drink prepared just how you like it.
For the next couple of hours the two of you browse the bookshop, spending the majority of your time in the rare section pouring over the titles in excitement and awe. You ask about his work and how he gathered his collection of rare books. He’s vague but polite with his answers, focusing most of his attention on you.
While you do most of the talking Bucky listens contentedly and intently, his constant regard slowly building and burning a hole through your enthused focus.
After a bit, it’s difficult to concentrate on anything else but him and you start to become more aware of how your body shifts closer to his, shoulders pressed together, heads close and your hand reaching out to graze his bicep.
Finally, the bookshop employees begin to let customers know they are going to close. You reluctantly put your current read back on the shelf and turn to Bucky.
“Guess it’s time to go,” you say quietly.
“I’ll drive you home doll.”
“No, no. That’s ok. I can take the train.”
“I insist,” he answers, stepping into your space and crowding you against the shelf.
“Ok,” you breathe out. “Thanks.”
His eyes drop to your lips and his hands hover at your waist, his fingertips just brushing the fabric of your shirt when the barista comes by and ushers you out.
With a release of breath you skirt past Bucky and grab your bag, heading for the exit.
Wordlessly, he holds the door of his car open for you, allowing you minimal space to edge by him into the passenger seat.
He breaks the silence with the same question floating around in your own head.
“Am I taking to you home or are you coming to my place to see my collection of books.”
“It’s late but…”
“But?”
“I would love to see them.”
“But you’re still thinking about what I said the other day, aren’t you?”
“Maybe.”
When you don’t say anything more or give him your address he drives in the opposite direction of your apartment. You contemplate your sanity the whole ride there but you’re too far gone to even want to tell him to turn around and bring you home.
His brownstone is gorgeous. Everything from the ornate edifice of the building to the classic tile in foyer exudes luxury and when you step inside the actual space you have to cover your mouth to stop any sound from escaping.
“I’m glad you like it doll,” he says from behind you, his chest brushing your back.
His lips meet the shell of your ear in a whisper. “I can give you a tour if you like or I can give you what you really want first.”
You turn to face him, his gravelly tone bringing several other things into focus. His cheeks are lightly flushed and his breathing has roughened. You sway closer and he runs his finger along your arm.
“The books…?” you question weakly.
“They’re not going anywhere,” he assures you as his fingertips trace your jaw.
“You don’t even have my phone number,” you continue. “We haven’t even been on a date yet!”
He starts to walk, pushing you slowly backward until you enter another room. Without taking his eyes off you he flicks a switch on the wall and the space is bathed in a soft glow, illuminating the ceiling high shelves of dark wood that line every wall. Every space is filled with books.
Your eyes wander for mere seconds before he grabs your chin and directs your gaze back to his.
“I think our bookshop encounters can be considered dates, don’t you?” he says softly.
Just before your back hits one of the shelves his large hand cradles your body, gently pressing you into the books. He leans closer, moving his hands to rest on either side of your head.
“Maybe…”
“Do you ever have an answer other than ‘maybe’?” he asks.
Your lips part to speak but he stops you with the brush of his mouth. “Don’t. Say. Maybe.”
Even though your last two meetings were charged with tension, this is the first time he’s really touching you and it sends shock waves through your entire body.
You breathe out a strangled ‘yes’ and arch into him, inviting more of his touch.
His mouth comes down on yours hard and hungry and the initial contact steals your breath. When you slide your hands over his chest and up to his shoulders, digging your nails into his skin, he groans and pushes you against the shelf.
You break contact with his mouth, gasping at the hardness pressing against your stomach.
“I’ve been like this since the moment I saw you,” he growls. “Do you know what that’s been like?”
He doesn’t give you a chance to answer as his mouth moves to your neck and sucks the sensitive spot underneath your ear, causing you to whimper his name.
Your head rolls to the side, begging for more and you let out a sound of frustration when he rocks his hips and keeps his mouth hovering along your skin.
“Is this what you want?” he murmurs with another grind of his hips.
Your fingers slide into his hair, raking through the soft strands as your breath catches on a gasp.
“Answer me, doll,” he demands.
“Yes. Yes Bucky. I want it.”
His hands leave your body and grip the edge of the shelf behind you. He dips his head, trailing kisses upward along your neck until he meets your earlobe, growling low.
“You’re going to spread these pretty legs for me doll and I’m going to bury my face between them.”
His tone warns you not to protest and with a strangled breath you do as you’re told, your head thumping back against the books when he slides his hand down your stomach.
“Eyes on me doll.”
You look down as he slips his hand inside your leggings, slowly peeling them, along with your panties down to your ankles.
He finds your swollen clit and circles it with teasing strokes, giving you one last hard look before his tongue flattens and he tastes you from top to bottom.
You’re already so close and when he pushes a finger inside you your eyes start to glaze over, your hips rocking rhythmically onto his hand and face.
When he pushes a second finger inside you it sends you over the edge, his tongue working you until your legs are shaking and you’re chanting his name.
“Fuck doll. You coming apart for me is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
You start to slump forward, your breathing still ragged and he runs a soft hand along your hip, holding you steady and biting gently into your skin with his fingers.
“I’m going to make you come over and over again,” he whispers as he stands and takes you in his arms, his lips caressing the shell of your ear. “With my fingers, my mouth, my cock.”
“Yes. Please,” you whimper.
He presses closer, his lips teasing along your jaw until your eyes meet. “But first we’re going to have a proper date.”
Your lips part with your objection and you’re ready to beg him for more but he presses a finger to your lips, smiling when you instantly quiet.
“If I get inside you now I’ll never be able to leave and I don’t have enough time tonight to worship you. I have business to deal with.”
 Your eyes drop to his mouth and your fingers climb up his chest.
“Ok,” you say, still breathless.
“You’re going to be my date for an auction event I have to attend tomorrow night…and then afterwards we’ll have the rest of the night. And the next morning…all day. You’ll be all mine.”
You nod, unable to find your voice again but squirm against him in desperation, your body still craving more.
“Sweet fucking hell, doll,” he hisses. “Don’t make me rush this.”
He grabs your waist so you stop moving, his eyes wandering over your face before he captures your lips in a kiss.
When he releases your mouth the set of his jaw is rigid and his fingers dig deeper into your skin.
“Tomorrow,” he murmurs. “Be ready by five.”
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You stare at yourself in the mirror, smoothing your hands over your dress for the tenth time. Before leaving Bucky’s apartment you had exchanged numbers and several more kisses then he walked you to your door, wasting no time reminding you of his promises for tonight.
Your pulse quickens as his words threaten to consume you and you wonder how you’ll ever make it through the next few hours without throwing yourself at him. His touch was like nothing else you’d experienced. Not one of his movements were wasted and his objective was clear. He was going to absolutely ruin you. And you were ready.
The light knock on your door startles you but you check the clock and see he’s right on time.
“You’re punctual,” you say as you open the door.
He looks amazing and have to bite your lip to stop your satisfied moan.
“And you’re fucking stunning,” he says as his eyes rake over every inch of you.
He continues staring and steps inside.
“Do you plan on looking at me like that all night?” you ask.
“Like what?” he replies as he reaches out for you.
“Like you need to devour me.”
“It’s all I want,” he growls, sliding his hand along the curve of your back to bring you closer.
“Do we really need to go to this auction?” you purr against his lips.
His fingers splay against your back and he brushes his nose to yours. “I do doll face, but if you need my hand between your legs first, all you have to do is ask me.”
Before you can form the words for a weak protest, his hand dips between your bodies and starts to lift the hem of your dress.
“Say it doll. I want to hear you say the words."
“Please Bucky,” you gasp. “Give me your fingers. I need your fingers.”
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 @randomfandompenguin @hiddles-rose @lizette50 @blackwidownat2814 @buckysdollforlife @littleseasiren @goldylions @kmc1989
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jeonginsleftcheek · 1 month
Text
Your biggest fan
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pairing: seungmin x afab!reader
genre: fluff, smut, college au
word count: 9.8k
warnings: sex work(kinda), masturbation, sex toys unprotected sex, face fucking, degradation, bondage, spanking, lowkey pain kink, squirting, dirty talk, orgasm control, sexting, reader is called slut and loves it hehe (lmk if i missed some haha)
a/n: i hope y'all enjoy this, please reblog if you did, i had fun with the college au🫶🏻 also, my first full seungmin fic🥹💕
check out: Masterlist
Saturday night. In any student's case that would be the perfect time to go out and party, unwind from the whole week, get drunk and maybe score a one night stand.
Not in Seungmin's case though, he has found another genre of ...entertainment. He was never the type to go out to parties, finding alcohol something that just upsets his stomach and seeing people acting even dumber than they usually do only served to make him mad, not relaxed.
His roommate Hyunjin is the exact opposite, practically surviving the whole week just for any party organized nearby, and today was no different.
"Do I look good?"- Hyunjin wiggled his eyebrows at Seungmin, after trying on the fifth outfit and asking the same thing every single time.
"Why are you asking redundant questions? You got a mirror."- Seungmin rolls his eyes at his roommate who was looming over his frame as he layed on his bed.
"Because like, I need to know if you'd fuck me?"- Hyunjin says nonchalantly and Seungmin makes gagging noises at him as he sits up.
"I'd never fuck you."- he shakes his head and Hyunjin groans.
"Okay but like if you were a girl or into guys, would you?"- he tries again.
"If saying yes gets you off my case, then yes."- Seungmin sighs and it's Hyunjin's turn to roll his eyes with a playful smirk appearing on his lips.
"You're so boring."- Hyunjin sticks his tongue out at Seungmin.
"And you're so childish. Let me be boring in peace."- Seungmin waves him off.
Hyunjin makes snoring noises as he grabs his jacket, barely missing the pillow projectile Seungmin aimed at him.
"Don't bother coming back, peasant!"- Seungmin yells and the door is closed with a thud.
He sighs, sitting in silence for just a few moments, waiting for Hyunjin's long legs to take him away from the dorms.
When he's sure that his roommate is far away, Seungmin gets up to lock the door before making his way back to bed.
He grabs his laptop and opens it up, typing up the familiar page into his search engine, looking for his favorite user, the one he spent so much money on. Money he made working hard during the summer, but who cares when he can spend it on whatever he wants.
Every week he waits for Saturday, his favorite day, when she does all her livestreams. Even though she never showed her face on camera, Seungmin is convinced she is the most beautiful woman to ever grace the planet.
Judging only by her beautiful curves and the way she moves and sounds when she pleases herself only fuel the fantasy of her that blooms inside Seungmin's head.
This weekend she's wearing pretty pastel pink lingerie, delicate and frilly, the tiny see-through fabric leaving nothing to the imagination except her face that Seungmin wishes he could see.
"Oh hello, MongMong22. You're finally here! I was waiting for you before I start!"- Seungmin listens to her seductive voice, imagining her smirk and a wink she'd send to the camera.
She always gives special hello's to him, always fulfills his requests because he's been there almost since day one, a constant source of payment for her.
"I have some new toys I wanna try out today."- she reveals, spreading her legs tentatively, slowly sliding her hand between them as she presses her fingers into her clit, circling it.
Seungmin lets out a breath through his nose, his boxers are already getting tight and she didn't even start with anything.
~ Let us see your tits, please!
She chuckles at the comment someone left, moving her hand away from her panties that now had a wet spot formed on them.
"Okay, when you asked so nicely."- Seungmin can hear the smirk in her voice. She undoes her bra, taking it off slowly and Seungmin palms his growing erection at the sight of her beautiful tits.
"You want me to play with my tits? Imagine it's your hands touching me?"- she cups herself, slowly massaging her breasts as a little moan escapes her lips.
~ Play with your nipples.
Someone comments what Seungmin thinks, and she brings her fingers on her nipples.
"You want me to play with my little nipples? Mm it feels so good."- she whines as she starts pinching them and rolling them between her fingers.
"How long should I play with them? Until they're all tender and swollen, so sensitive for you?"- she moans, pinching them harder.
Seungmin twitches and pulls his boxers down so he can grab his throbbing cock, pre-cum spilling out and coating his length.
"You tell me when to stop, pup."- Seungmin's dick twitches in his hand, he knows she's talking directly to him, with the nickname he chose whenever they direct message.
He slowly starts moving his hand, only on his tip, the stimulation making his gut stir as he watches her torture her nipples while she lets out the prettiest moans.
Seungmin imagines how it would feel to actually be the one to touch her nipples, reduce her to a mess of moans while only playing with her breasts.
"Are you imagining you're touching me? Or perhaps you're imagining your lips around my nipples, sucking on them like a good boy?"- Seungmin lets out a quiet noise as his hand slips down his length, now completely lubed with his pre-cum.
He moves his hand very slowly, trying to make everything last as long as possible, after all it's been a week since he's last seen her.
He stops her only when her nipples are swollen and red, when she's whimpering and begging, rutting her hips against her bed, her wet pussy dragging on the sheets beneath.
~ Touch yourself. Push your fingers inside your pussy.
Seungmin types out, now completely succumbing to the arousal traveling through his body right to his red throbbing cock.
"Of course, MongMong. Tell me how many fingers?"- she sounds sweet, and he can imagine her batting her eyelashes at him.
~ Three.
She whines at his comment, sliding her panties off and spreading her legs wide so everyone can see her pretty pussy, glistening with arousal.
"Three fingers for my pup."- she moans, playing with her clit a little before she slides her fingers on her wet folds. She slowly pushes three of her fingers in, her little pussy struggling to take so much before any preparation.
Seungmin's head is dizzy, thinking about how tight her pussy actually is, how it would feel to sink his cock inside her, open her up only to take him. He tightens his hold on his cock, imagining it's her velvety walls squeezing around him.
The schlick sounds that her pussy makes as she starts fucking her fingers into it together with her sweet whines, make Seungmin move his hand faster.
He cups his balls with his other hand, giving himself more stimulation as she plays with her nipples and fucks herself.
"Ahh, are you thinking of having your way with me? Pushing your cock inside me and fucking me raw? Filling me up, full of your warm cum? Mm, I hope you are cause I'm thinking about it too!"- she whimpers loudly.
"Come on puppy, tell me when I can cum!"- she adds, fucking herself faster, her legs shaking as she brings her hand harshly into her hole.
"Fuck!"- Seungmin curses, his cock twitching hard in his hand.
~ Cum for me.
He types out when he feels close to his own high and she lets out a little gasp.
"Yes, puppy, cum with me too! I want you to cum all over me ahh!"- she moans and Seungmin's hips jerk upwards as he cums hard, at the same time she almost screams, pulling her fingers out as she squirts, her pussy visibly clenching around nothing.
Seungmin milks his cock dry as he looks at her beautiful flushed body, her pussy and thighs covered in her juices, her breasts shaking lightly with her ragged breathing.
"I hope you came with me. Now tell me which toy should I start with first? Or should I use both of them, fill both my holes?"- she giggles and Seungmin feels his spent cock twitch against his thigh.
Oh, it's just the beginning of the night.
-
Monday comes around, the day everyone dreads but not Seungmin.
It's another day he looks forward to, because he has lectures with you.
He barely knows you, you exchanged only polite hello's and a few sentences about your assignments and professors, you being Felix's friend who is Hyunjin's friend, brought you together as sometimes the four of you sit at the same table during lunch time at the cafeteria.
You're mostly quiet, hiding in big sweaters, your hair is always up in a neat bun or ponytail, your glasses sliding down your nose as you stare at your book.
Seungmin thinks you're adorable and also unapproachable as he, himself is a little shy and he tried to take the lead a few times, only for you to bite back short answers, your voice timid and your cheeks rosy.
You were like that with Hyunjin too at the beginning, shy and barely responding to him, but since he tries to fuck anything that walks and of course tried to flirt with you one too many times, you started being sarcastic and sassy with him, turning him down every time.
Seungmin wouldn't admit it out loud but he was enjoying every time you brought the cocky Hwang Hyunjin down to earth.
You seemed to only be somewhat relaxed around Felix, probably because you've known each other for quite a while, being friends even before college started.
Seungmin wishes he could be more like Felix, more extroverted and joyful, maybe then he'd get more of your attention, maybe then he'd get to talk to you more, find out about your desires, fears, dreams and interests.
"Well, I gotta go, I have a hot date."- Hyunjin stands up first, wiggling his eyebrows. "Any of y'all are welcome to join in for a little threesome."
"Ew."- you and Seungmin say at the same time, making Felix choke on his food as he tried to laugh and swallow the meat at the same time.
"Both of you are boring."- Hyunjin puts both thumbs down and Seungmin reaches up to slap his hands, making Hyunjin trip over his feet and almost fall as he tries to avoid him.
"Don't kill him. Yet."- Felix chimes in after a chug of water.
"I see you're siding with the snores. I'll catch you later then, my little retirement squad."- Hyunjin slips away with a smirk and a salute.
"Oh shit!"- Felix gasps suddenly, scrambling to get up. "I forgot I had a study date! I'm already late, I'll see you guys later!"- he grabs his stuff in a frenzy, running away comically as he tries to balance everything in his hands.
Seungmin and you watch as Felix almost bumps into another student carrying their tray of food, apologizing profusely as the person glares at him.
"He's a disaster sometimes."- you shake your head and Seungmin is taken aback, almost forgetting you're still sitting there. With him. Alone.
This is the first time that neither Hyunjin nor Felix are together with the two of you and Seungmin gulps, his heart picking up speed as you tilt your head at him, looking at him through your glasses.
"Yeah, he is."- he answers quickly with a nervous chuckle and you seem to already move on, your nose in your book again.
"W-what are you reading?"- Seungmin tries a poor attempt at starting a conversation, when he can clearly read the title and the author since you're holding the book up.
You close the cover, looking at it like you've forgotten what you're reading.
"The giver. I've read it multiple times. I just read it sometimes between new books. To have like a familiar story before I move on to something I've never experienced before. It's comforting."- you talk, your cheeks reddening with every word you utter, your eyes darting down to your book as you scan the words you almost know at the top of your head.
"What's it about?"- Seungmin asks, actually interested in knowing what kind of story you find comforting, one you can repeat over and over again.
"It's about a seemingly utopian world where everyone has equal everything but the more details you find out about the world, as well as the role of the giver, the more your eyes open up to see it's far from being utopian. I won't spoil much in case you wish to read it someday."- you smile at Seungmin, pushing your glasses up, your eyes sparkly.
"Wow."- he exhales as he stares at your face. "I- I mean, it sounds very interesting. The book. I might give it a read."
"Let me know if you do. I wanna hear your thoughts."- you say and his heart flutters.
You wanna hear his thoughts.
"Well, it was nice talking to you but I have afternoon lectures. See you around."- you stand up, hiding your face from Seungmin and he feels a kind of longing wash over him, longing to be in your presence just for a little while more.
You quickly gather your stuff, and he sees a glimpse of your reddened cheeks as you wave bye to him and walk out, your sweet perfume lingering even after you're far down the road and Seungmin is still sitting there, his heart hammering in his chest.
He finds The Giver in the library that very same afternoon and hurries to his dorm to start reading as soon as he can.
-
Seungmin finds it easy to fall into the fictitious world of your comfort book, with every word he sees, he reads it in your voice, imagines you with your little bun, a few strands of your hair falling into your eyes and framing your pretty face, as your glasses slide down your nose.
He reads and reads, and then he thinks about you, your pretty lips and he wonders how you taste. He wonders how his hands would look while holding your face, the look you would give him as he leans in closer right before he seals his lips with yours. He wonders how it would feel to press his body against yours, to melt into your embrace. And how it would feel to be inside you, how beautiful you would be with nothing but your glasses on.
Seungmin's pants get terribly tight, but it feels wrong.
So wrong to touch himself at the thought of the sweet and kind you, so he turns to the only source of pleasure he knows. That familiar site he's on every Saturday, and when need hits, sometimes during the week too.
Like today, while his roommate is luckily away, off to fuck someone somewhere while Seungmin looks for her.
~ Hey, are you online?
Seungmin quickly sends her a message and the three dots indicating that she's typing pop up in an instant.
~ For you always, pup. Tell me what you need.
Seungmin swallows, his cock straining in his boxers.
~ Could you send me a video of you playing with your favorite toy?
He sends, and adds a generous tip immediately.
He waits for a little while, the erection painful in his boxers so he decides to shuck them off and slowly wrap his hand around his length.
~ video attachment
Seungmin jolts and clicks as fast as he can. She's completely naked, save for cute white thigh highs, her legs are spread open as she runs her favorite dildo on her wet folds.
"Mm, pup I wish it was you here with me now."- she says lowly, before she slowly starts pushing the toy into her desperate pussy.
Seungmin watches as it stretches around the dildo, sucking it in greedily and he jerks himself off faster, his legs trembling.
"I wish it was your dick stretching me, fucking me raw. I would let you cum inside me, puppy."- she moans as she pushes the whole toy inside her.
"Ahh, fuck!"- Seungmin moans a little too loudly as his cock twitches hard in his hand.
"I want you to fuck me dumb, pup. Ah, please!"- she whines desperately, fucking herself faster and harder. Seungmin moans quietly as he matches her pace, almost throwing his head back in pleasure but he doesn't want to miss a moment of her sweet pussy taking it.
"Ahh, I'm gonna cum for you!"- she moans before exploding around the toy, coating it in her release.
Seungmin's eyes roll back as he fucks his hand relentlessly, on the brink of his release.
"Cum inside me puppy, please!"- she keeps fucking herself, taking out another orgasm out of her pussy as she squirts all over herself. That tips Seungmin over the edge and he cums, spurting all over his hand and stomach.
"I hope you enjoyed that."- she giggles before the video ends.
~ Tell me if you need something more, I'll do it for you MongMong<3
He sees the last text as he clicks off the video, after saving it of course.
~ I wish I could see your face.
He types out after wiping himself off.
The typing bubble pops up and disappears a few times before she finally answers.
~ I'm sorry pup, that's the one thing I can't do.
Seungmin knew she would say that, and he understands, she doesn't even know who he is, how old he is, what he looks like. He could say he's whatever age he wants to be or send a picture of someone else, it's easy to hide behind a screen. It makes sense that she wants to keep herself safe.
~ I understand. Thank you for the vid.
~ Anytime!<3 Ty for the tip, handsome<3
Seungmin watches the video a few more times before his roommate stumbles into the dorm, and he hides his phone away, pretending to be asleep.
-
Felix and Hyunjin are deep into a heated conversation about some game characters, and Seungmin has tuned them out long ago. His attention is only on you, as you fumble with your glasses, your book resting on the side of course.
"I finished the giver."- he starts and you look up from cleaning your glasses, your eyes big and eyebrows lifted as your cheeks redden.
"Wow, that was quick! You're a fast reader."- you say, putting your glasses on and smoothing out that strand of hair that always falls out of your bun. Seungmin wishes he could reach out and put it behind your ear himself.
"The story was engaging."- he chuckles and you let out a small giggle. "Actually, it was really sad at some parts. And it ends with an open ending, we never know if they survived or not."
"I like to think they did. That's what's comforting to me."- you shrug, looking down at your plate.
"Could you imagine a world like that? To be robbed of everything that makes you unique, that makes you who you are?"- you add suddenly and Seungmin shakes his head.
"Sounds terrifying."- he says and you hum in agreement.
You seem to be contemplating something, sifting through your food with your fork as your cheeks become even more red.
Seungmin can see you muttering to yourself and he finds it so endearing.
"T-there's a book fair happening this weekend. I was wondering if you'd like to... go with me."- you say quietly, your eyes meeting his in a shy gaze.
Seungmin's heart hammers fast in his chest.
"I'd love to!"- he says a little too quickly, cringing at himself.
"Great! Um, maybe we could meet up in front of the cafeteria at 5pm?"- you ask, smiling at him.
"Sounds good."- Seungmin nods, trying not to look affected but deep in his mind he's clawing at the figurative wall.
"Where are y'all going?"- Hyunjin butts in suddenly.
"Nowhere of interest to you, Hwang."- you answer with a slight scowl on your face, and Seungmin suppresses a laugh behind his palms.
Hyunjin lifts his arms up in surrender, feigning an innocent look.
"Just say it's a date and I'll be out of your hair."- he says and you almost suffocate on your own saliva. "It's about time my little MongMong gets some."- he smirks and Seungmin is quick to punch his arm hard, making Hyunjin wail dramatically as he almost falls off the chair.
Felix is laughing histerically, holding up his phone as he films the whole chaotic scene.
Your eyes seem to widden at the nickname, the color draining from your face.
"You broke my arm!"- Hyunjin yelps, making a few people turn to look at him with an annoyed look on their faces.
"I'll break the other one too if you don't shut up."- Seungmin threatens while you sit quietly.
"Ugh... I gotta go. I'll see you Saturday."- you look at Seungmin before patting Felix on the head and saying bye to the whole table as you rush out of the cafeteria.
Seungmin stares at the door swinging after you ran out and Hyunjin smirks.
"You better get that p-"
"Finish the sentence, Hwang. I dare you."- Seungmin glares at him with his fist lifted and Hyunjin yelps.
"See! He bullies me! He beats me up!"- he says to Felix who shakes his head, chuckling.
"You're the one who starts it."- Felix says.
"Y'all are against me. I'm leaving."- Hyunjin gets up.
"Goodbye."- Seungmin says and the two of them unceremoniously flip each other off as Felix laughs at them.
"Be nice to y/n. She's a close friend of mine."- Felix says to Seungmin as soon as Hyunjin is out of earshot.
"Oh... Yeah, of course. I promise."- Seungmin says and Felix smiles.
"Good."- he nods and just then Seungmin becomes aware of the butterflies in his stomach.
-
Seungmin doesn't know how he managed to sleep the night before. Saturday was always his favorite day, but today it was even more special.
"How do I look?"- he's the one to ask Hyunjin that this time around, as his roommate lazes around on his bed, playing some dumb game on his phone.
"Yeah, I'd fuck you."- Hyunjin smirks.
"I didn't ask that, you asshole!"- Seungmin snaps and Hyunjin just laughs.
"It was implied."- he wiggles his eyebrows and Seungmin grabs his pillow.
"See this? I'm gonna suffocate you with it if you keep being gross."- he threatens and Hyunjin just smirks again.
"I mean, if that's what you're into, I'm okay with a little breath play."- he says.
"Oh my god, I am leaving. You're sick."- Seungmin makes gagging noises at his roommate, grabbing his stuff as fast as he could.
Hyunjin is giggling, loving the way he can always annoy his roommate and friend.
"Get that pussy, MongMong!"- he yells after him.
"Shut up, Hwang!"- Seungmin yells back, slamming the door as he steps out into the hallway.
Finally.
He arrives in front of the cafeteria a little too early, and he's shuffling from one foot to another, his heart stuck in his throat. Is this really happening?
Maybe he's just dreaming. If he is, he hopes he'll never wake up because there you are, walking towards him.
Seungmin almost sputters when he sees you with your hair down, wearing a dress and an oversized sweater over it.
It seems like he fell right into a scene from a movie where the protagonist finally gets the girl, and she's walking towards him in slow motion, her hair cascading down her shoulders as the wind blows through it, her face breaking into a smile as she notices him and waves.
Seungmin is absolutely stunned.
"Hey."- you say as you stand in front of him, your perfume and shampoo mixing and filling up the space between you and Seungmin melts.
"Hi. You look... different."- you dumb idiot, he thinks. You look different? What the heck is that?
"T-thanks, I guess?"- you chuckle quietly. "My hair is down, maybe because of that."- you conclude, tucking that one strand behind your ear and Seungmin's hand itches.
"Yeah, could be."- Seungmin hopes the earth swallows him up. Why is he so embarassing?
"Shall we go?"- you ask and Seungmin nods, as the two of you start walking.
Luckily, the location is only a 10 minute walk from your campus, so you didn't have to take the bus.
The two of you walked in silence at first before you found a common theme, talking about your lectures and professors.
Seungmin's worries kept slowly melting away as your conversation flows naturally.
Arriving at the fair, Seungmin had no idea it would be this big. The crowd really was something and there were so many stands with books and trinkets, somewhere down the line there were even stands with drinks and food.
"Oh wow, what a turn up this year!"- you say, your body buzzing with excitement.
"Yeah, I didn't think there'd be a crowd this huge."- Seungmin nods.
"That's not a problem, right?"- you ask, your eyes big and sparkly and he melts.
"No, of course not. I'm excited to see what they have here too."- Seungmin smiles a blindingly bright smile at you, noticing your cheeks becoming redder as you look at him.
You avert your eyes in favor of scanning the books perched on the stands, looking for a new fantasy world to immerse yourself in.
Seungmin quickly found out just how passionate you are about your reading, as you talked and talked like someone opened up a tap of water and the words kept spilling out of your lips.
To say he was delighted to see this more excited, bold side of you was an understatement. He absorbed every single thought you let out in the open, like a man with a hard addiction he wanted to hear more, he wanted you to keep talking so his brain could get a well craved dose of you.
All the talking and walking made the two of you hungry and you made your way towards one of the little fast food stands.
Your hands were occupied with two bags of books and Seungmin held two books that you recommended to him, ones that he planned to read religiously as soon as he could just so the two of you have even more to talk about.
"Let me help you with that."- he says, offering to carry your bags. You almost shy away, saying that it's not necessary but he insists so you give in.
You both get hot dogs and sodas, sitting at one of the high tables.
As you sit and eat, making small talk, Seungmin's eyes fall to your wrist, where you rolled up your sleeve.
A dainty bracelet with a little sun and half moon pendant adorns it and he wonders why it looks so familiar to him. Until it clicks.
Sunbeam28. The woman of his dreams, the one that sends him hot videos on demand, the one that calls him puppy and fucks herself in front of thousands of horny eyes. She has the same bracelet.
Seungmin swallows, it can't be.
It's just a bracelet. Maybe many other people have it, it must be. He gathers his thoughts as you sense his stare and look up at him.
There's no way someone as sweet and innocent as you says the things she says, does the things she does.
"Um, your bracelet. It's pretty."- Seungmin comments.
"Oh!"- you look at your wrist and smile fondly. "Felix got it for me, on my 18th birthday."
"Oh, that's really nice. So you and him?"- Seungmin trails off.
"He's like a brother to me."- you smile, wiping your hands on the napkin.
"Yeah, I figured."- hoped, is what he wants to say but doesn't. "It's nice that he found that bracelet for you, I mean it suits you well."- Seungmin tries again.
"He got it made for me. It's one of a kind."- you say and he almost chokes on his drink.
"Seungmin, are you okay?"- you panic as he coughs, lifting to your feet and tapping his back.
"Mhm."- he nods quickly, swallowing and then drinking again. "Fine. I'm fine."
Completely fucking fine.
That can only mean one thing. You and Sunbeam28 are the same person. Seungmin lets out a quiet incredulous laugh. Out of everywhere in the world the woman on his screen lives on the same campus as him. Out of everyone, he fell for you twice.
But the sweet shy girl with red cheeks in front of him looks nothing like the sexy seductress that could have him wrapped around her finger in a matter of seconds.
He wonders how much you hide away, and he comes to the realization that he already saw everything.
His face feels hot and you look up at him expectantly.
"You sure you're okay?"- you ask.
"Yeah, more than okay."- he tries to reassure you and maybe himself too.
It's almost your streaming time, Seungmin thinks as the two of you walk back towards the campus.
"I had a really good time."- you say shyly when he walks you to your dorm.
"Me too."- he smiles, watching you tuck your hair behind your ear.
He gets an overwhelming wish to taste your cherry colored lips.
"Well, see you Monday."- you say, before turning around and leaving hurriedly.
"See you!"- Seungmin calls behind you, clutching the books in his hand.
-
He's logged on as soon as Hyunjin disappears off to party at 11pm like clockwork.
"Hi, MongMong22. Glad to see you here again tonight."- a seductive voice says.
Again? Again, like another Sunday or again as in you somehow know?
There's no way you could know.
"Tonight is a special night. I'm feeling extra giving so I will let my viewers take complete control over me. I'm talking what toy I use, how fast or slow I go, where I put it, when I cum... Everything is in your hands my dear viewers. I'm looking forward to tonight."- you let out a little chuckle, and Seungmin is 100% sure now. You are Sunbeam28.
~ We want you naked.
Someone comments and you giggle again.
"Your wish is my command, chat."- you say and take off the flimsy see through black bra and panties.
"Here we have a selection of all my toys. I'm counting on you to be creative."- you say, spreading your legs and letting everyone see your pussy, already glistening with arousal. The thought of being at the mercy of faceless viewers excited you so much.
~ Put on the nipple clamps.
Seungmin types out quickly. He wants, no needs to ruin you. How can you walk around so shyly, your nose always in your books, while here with the promise of anonymity you're such a horny little thing. He can't wrap his head around the duality.
"Anything for you, puppy."- your voice is low as you grab your pretty shiny nipple clamps. You tease your nipples a little, pinching and pulling on them, before you put on the clamps.
A whimper spills from your lips at the pain shooting through you, bringing pleasure to your core as arousal gushes out of it.
You flick your nipples a little, moaning quietly.
~ Does it hurt?
Seungmin asks, his hand palming his hard cock through his boxers.
"Mm it hurts so good pup. So good."- you whimper as you play with them, pulling on them and biting on your lip. Wishing you could close your legs to create some friction for your throbbing pussy but you want your dear viewers to have a good look at your greedy hole the entire time.
~ Use the vibrator
Someone adds and giggles spill from your lips as you take a hold of your toy.
"On my clit?"- you ask, playing with the settings.
~ Yes
Comments pour in and you press the tip on your clit, engorged and throbbing from arousal.
"How high should I turn it on?"
~ Highest. And don't cum unless I tell you to.
Seungmin gets bold, his cock now free from it's confines as he strokes it, his pre cum lubing it up perfectly.
"Mm yes pup."- you moan, turning up the settings to the highest point you could, pressing the vibrator into your clit hard.
"Ah!"- you moan wantonly, the pleasure coursing through your veins.
Seungmin curses as he can now imagine your pretty face, all fucked out, your eyes rolled back and tongue out as you moan, your legs shaking with pleasure, your tight little pussy clenching and begging to be touched and fucked.
He wonders if you still have your glasses on.
You're on the brink, barely holding in and the chat is exploding with different comments but you're waiting for him to tell you to cum.
"P-please, puppy. I wanna cum for you. Please!"- you whimper and Seungmin smirks behind the screen, flicking his wrist and also edging himself, just so he can follow your pace.
He doesn't answer yet, waiting a little more as your legs shake violently, arousal constantly gushing out of your pussy and soaking the bedsheet underneath you.
You play with your pinched nipples, the added pain makes your mind so cloudy and you keep begging.
~ Cum for me.
Seungmin fucks his hand as you grind on your bed.
"Ah, thank you puppy!"- you whimper as you cum, squirting on the bed in front of you, the liquid slides down your ass and you whimper, grinding against your own release.
Seungmin waits, he didn't come yet, not until you fall apart.
~ Let's see that little pussy take the biggest cock.
It's like something possessed him when he types that out, he's always had requests for you but he's never been this crass.
He could see your pussy clench at his words.
"Ah puppy, you wanna see my little pussy stuffed full to the brim? See it take this monster cock inch by inch just for you?"- he can hear the smirk and the need in your voice.
~ Yes. Don't make me wait.
"Ahh my puppy is so bossy tonight."- you tease, grabbing some lube to help you out, pouring it on your hands and the dildo generously before you start spreading it as you pump the toy.
"Watch closely."- you say, the tip of the dildo slowly pushed between your folds, as it catches and slips through and your eyes roll back as the toy breaches in, stretching your little pussy around it.
You whimper, pushing more of the toy in, determined to take as much as you can, push your limits as the thick long dildo forces your cunt open.
~ Fuck yourself faster
He comments and your moans are music to Seungmin's ears, together with the wet sounds your pussy makes as you start pounding your cunt. He fists his cock, matching your pace as you strain your wrist, your hole swallowing more than half the monster dildo.
"Ahh fuck puppy, I wish it was you! Fucking me, ruining my little pussy with your cock!"- you whine as you fuck yourself, the thought of when Hyunjin called your crush MongMong the other day flying through your mind. And you imagine him.
You imagine Seungmin pounding the absolute fuck out of you and you speed up, your head thrown back, not even caring about the camera anymore.
On the other side, Seungmin's legs are shaking as he watches you come undone, his cock twitching and he can't hold it in anymore, his warm cum shooting out in spurts as you babble and fuck your cunt until you explode all over yourself.
"Ah, shit!"- you curse. "I got carried away, chat."
But the comments are overwhelmingly positive as your eyes scan through them, trying to focus on the screen.
~ Please wanna see u fuck ur ass
Someone comments, and you chuckle.
"I'm afraid time's up. But next Saturday, I will wear the prettiest buttplug just for you."- you cheekily click your tongue.
Seungmin is still trying to catch his breath.
And he still can't believe it's you. Sweet y/n. Such a desperate little slut.
He wants to make you his.
-
It's the only class all four of you have together and Seungmin has a skip in his step after the weekend.
When he sees you standing and talking to Felix, all his confidence crumbles and his face burns as he remembers what he typed out and how sinful you were during that live.
As soon as you notice him, you quickly avert your eyes, your face matching his in color as you both blush. Felix smirks as his eyes travel between the two of you.
"Hello, Minnie."- Felix teases and Seungmin narrows his eyes at him.
"Don't call me that. Sounds like you're calling me short and I'm taller than you."- he says and Felix gasps, grabbing at his chest.
"Damn, don't have to rub it in my face."- he jokes and Hyunjin appears behind him, throwing his arm around Felix's shoulders.
"Who's rubbing what into your face? I volunteer."- he smirks.
"Ew."- you and Seungmin recoil at the same time again, making the two of them chuckle and exchange knowing looks.
"Moving on."- Felix shakes Hyunjin's arm off as he pouts on the side. "Y/n and I were just talking how fun it would be if the four of us would do the assignment together. Specifically, I'd like to pair up with Hyunjin."
"Ah, I know you want me Lix. We can arrange something."- Hyunjin smirks.
"Get your head out of your ass, Hwang."- you chime in and Seungmin can't help the cackle that falls from his lips. But you notice the little blush blossoming on Felix's face and your eyes widden.
Of course he fell for the playboy's charm.
"Anyways! Seungmin and y/n can work on their part together."- Felix continues, playing with his fingers nervously as Hyunjin keeps smirking at him.
"Alright, I like that mash up."- you nod, your cheeks dusted in pink and Seungmin's heart skips a beat.
"How about you come to my place tonight and we can start?"- when did you get so bold, Seungmin thinks. Is he even breathing right now?
"S-sure, that sounds good."
"Great, Lixie you can come to our dorm then. The snooze fest will happen over at y/n's dorm and you can have the only fun person here all to yourself."- Hyunjin wiggles his eyebrows at Felix.
"I'm sure he's absolutely estatic about that."- Seungmin shakes his head, missing the way Felix fumbles over his words.
"I promise I'll behave."- Hyunjin winks.
He definitely will not behave, Seungmin thinks, but as he looks at Felix he concludes that maybe Felix would like that.
-
The evening comes around quicker than anticipated. Seungmin is in front of your door, checking his hair, his breath and his heartbeat a hundred times.
He brought his laptop and stuff to work on the project together but that's the last thing in his mind right now.
He's gonna see the room. The bed. The one you do the most sinful things on, in front of the camera.
He knocks and you open the door, looking comfy and sweet, your hair up in your famous bun, the strands falling into the frame of your glasses and you're wearing a cute pyjama set, complete with shorts that reveal your pretty legs.
That must be on purpose, Seungmin thinks, or hopes.
"Hey, I hope it's not messy. I had to help my roommate pack, she's had some family emergency so I didn't get to clean up everything."
"No, it's completely fine. I understand."- Seungmin smiles as you lead him to your room.
"Let's just go to my room, my computer and materials are there."- you say and he follows, visibly gulping.
The moment he steps in, recognition settles in his stomach.
"Sit wherever you want."- you say. Will he dare to sit on the bed?
Yes, he will.
He sits down and looks up at you, you're biting at your lip like your were contemplating something, your eyes averting away from his, your cheeks becoming rosy again.
"Let's begin."- you quickly snap out of whatever you were thinking about and sit at your table.
Seungmin is disappointed but he's convinced you'd never make the first move even if you did want him and somehow he feels he'd have to break that ice soon or he might miss his chance with you.
-
Two hours later, both of you get a little tired and hungry from all the work you've done so you decide to order some food. In the meantime you show him some of your favorite books from your book collection (part of it that you could have in the dorm), and his heart swells at your excited babbling.
The food arrives shortly and you invite Seungmin to sit next to you so the two of you can eat. The table is small, your hands keep brushing against each other as you reach for different side dishes, your knees pressed against each other.
Something stirs inside him and Seungmin watches you as you wipe your lips with a napkin, that damn hair getting in your eyes again.
He can't ignore the need anymore, his hand reaches to tuck the strand behind your ear. You freeze before you look up at him.
"You're really pretty."- he says suddenly, surprising himself.
"Seungmin-" - you start, a little gasp escaping your lips as his hand cups your cheek.
"No, let me finish. I need to say it now when I feel brave. I- I really like you. Well, more than that. I'm falling for you, y/n and I don't know if I've read the signals wrong but I think you might feel the same."
"Oh..."- you look shocked, your tongue darting out to wet your lips. "I do, I really do. I've had a crush on you ever since I first saw you."- you confess, playing with your fingers.
Seungmin feels delighted, like a weight has been lifted off of his chest and he smiles brightly and sweetly at you.
"Can I kiss you?"- he asks quietly and your heart skips a beat.
"Please."- your voice almost comes out in a whimper and both of you lean in, your lips touching, figurative fireworks exploding around you as you sigh a breath of relief into each other, your lips moving perfectly together.
The kiss becomes heated quickly, as you keep leaning closer into each other, hands roaming on your bodies.
"S-Seungmin, I need to ask you something."- you whisper against his lips and he leans back, looking at you with hazy eyes.
"Anything."- he nods.
"Are you... Are you MongMong22?"- you gulp and his eyes widden as he gasps.
"You know?"- he asks and you chuckle nervously.
"Hyunjin called you that one time. Did you know I was-"
"Sunbeam28? Found out recently. Well I figured it out by your bracelet."
"I knew you knew. As soon as you asked me about it."- you say and a glint of something dangerous shines in your eyes.
"Are you uncomfortable that I know your secret?"- Seungmin asks.
"God no. I can just skip explaining it to you, if we're gonna date. I want to be transparent about it and somehow knowing you know and that you're... well, my biggest fan is somehow comforting."- you chuckle.
"I am your biggest fan."- Seungmin smirks, his gut stirring.
"What now?"- you swallow.
"Now, I'm gonna kiss you again."- Seungmin says, his eyes darkening as he leans in and kisses you slowly, his tongue pushing your lips open and playing with yours. You moan into the kiss, holding onto him desperately as his hands ground you.
"Wanna move this to the bed?"- you ask and Seungmin lets out a chuckle as he stands up.
You stand up too, fully expecting him to take you to your bed but Seungmin grabs you, making you squeal in surprise as he turns you around, pressing you into the table, and pressing his semi hard cock into your ass. His hand grips your bun and he pulls your head back.
"A-ah!"- you whimper in surprise and arousal.
"What's your safeword?"- he asks and you shiver.
"Are you familiar with the traffic light system?"- you ask, your voice trembling.
"Of course."- his breath ghosts on your neck, lips brushing against your skin.
Your lips open and close a few times but no coherent words come out as he starts grinding his cock between your plush asscheeks.
"Is this what you craved all this time, hm?"- his voice is low as he whispers into your ear.
"Mm, yes."- you let out a shaky breath as you grip at the shelf before you.
"You act all innocent and sweet, hiding behind those big glasses when you're nothing but a little slut looking to have all her holes filled."- he says and you gasp as his free hand comes up to grab your breast.
Good thing you didn't wear a bra today.
Seungmin turns you around, his long fingers wrapping around your neck before he leans in to kiss you hard, dominating you as he presses his body against yours. You melt as you wrap your arms around him, you can't believe this is actually happening and neither can he.
For some reason it feels natural as he leads you to the bed. Before you can lay down he stops you as he smirks.
"Strip."- he orders and you listen immediately, getting rid of your pjs and your panties. You had no problem showing your body on camera, and now even less with Seungmin, knowing he loves it, knowing he came so many times just because of you.
There's a kind of power you feel in that moment, and you decide to put everything in his hands, let him take the reigns this time, knowing you definitely have him wrapped around your little finger.
Seungmin pushes you down and you sit on the bed where he's seen you sit many times before, but this time he can see your pretty face together with your beautiful body that he's seen so many times on the screen and craved to touch it.
You reach to take your glasses off and he stops you.
"Leave those on. You look so sexy like that."- he says and you whimper quietly, spreading your legs tentively.
Seungmin chuckles, hands gripping your plushy thighs.
"Already spreading your legs? So eager."- he smirks.
"Yeah, don't you want me to?"- you bat your eyelashes at him, your pussy on display, gushing with arousal, knowing that you're at his mercy now.
"Keep them open then."- he says, spreading you even more, until there's resistance and your inner thighs hurt but you stay spread for him.
"Anything for you, pup."- you smirk and hearing you say that nickname in real life makes his dick twitch. "Whatever you want I-"
"You talk too much."- he stops you, fingertips on your lips and you part them, allowing him to push two of his fingers in.
You whimper around his digits, your eyes rolling back as his other hand slides down to caress your breast and play with your nipple.
You start sucking on his fingers as he pushes them as deep as he can, pinching and pulling your nipple harshly. You jolt, moaning around him again as he hovers over you.
"You like being pacified like this?"- you nod weakly. "Maybe you need something bigger, hm?"
You keen as he pulls out his fingers, his hands moving to remove his belt and unbutton his pants.
The belt is placed aside, and he lets his pants fall to his ankles before he steps out and pushes them aside.
His shirt comes off next and you almost wanna grind on the bed from the neediness you feel.
Seungmin is smirking as you eye his bulge, gulping at the size of it.
"Whenever I watched your live streams, I wished I could see your face, so many times I've wanted to ask you to send me a video of you sucking on your favorite toy. I'd make you take all of it. I don't care how but you'd do it."
"I would! I swear!"- you whimper. "Please!"
"Please what?"- Seungmin grips your hair, your bun messed up now.
"Let me make your fantasy come true but even better."- you look at him with a mix of lust and cheekiness and Seungmin really wants to stuff your face full of his cock.
He finally gets rid of his boxers, his hard cock springing out, the tip glistening with pre-cum.
"I wanna be on my knees for you, puppy."- you whimper, and Seungmin's cock visibly twitches.
"Be my guest."- he smirks and you get down on your knees, wasting no time as you wrap your lips around his head, tongue lapping at the pre-cum.
Seungmin sucks in a sharp breath, his hand coming around to grip and hold onto your messy bun.
You suck eagerly and he chuckles a little.
"I think you want more."- he slowly slides more of his length in as he holds your head down and your eyes flutter as you look up at him hazily, folding your hands on your back.
Seungmin fucks your face slowly at first, pushing a little bit more in with every thrust, watching your pretty eyes stare at him through your glasses.
You take it, relaxing your throat and steadying your breathing, you've trained yourself to not gag and be a perfect slut, especially if one day you'd wanna reveal your face and suck on your toys in front of all your eager viewers.
Seungmin easily slides all his length into your mouth, the tip hitting the back of your throat, your nose buried in his pubic hair.
Your eyes roll back and so do his, you're so warm and compliant, like your mouth was made for swallowing his whole cock.
"Tap my thigh if you can't take it."- he says, a bit breathless before he grips your hair harder and starts fucking your face.
Your eyes are blurry, tears sliding down your cheeks, as Seungmin abuses your throat with his thick, long cock but you love the feeling of choking on him every time his throbbing tip hits the back of your throat.
Your pussy clenches around nothing, your arousal dripping down your inner thighs and you press them together.
Seungmin's eyes are trained on your face, you look so pretty like this, all eager and full of him, your glasses sliding down your nose, strands of your hair framing your flushed teary cheeks.
"Fuck, you're beautiful."- Seungmin's cock twitches inside you, and he's already close.
Just the image of you taking it drives him crazy and he starts fucking your face wildly, you wonder how your glasses don't fall off from the strength he's fucking you with.
"I'm close."- he whines and you moan around him, more tears spilling out.
"You're gonna take all of it. Swallow like a good slut."- he moans as he fucks into you hard.
Your eyes flutter at his words and his hips stutter before he shoots his load right into your throat and you almost choke on it. You swallow as quickly as you can, taking everything he's giving you.
"Shit."- he leans away, his cock slipping out of your mouth and you cough a little, a dopey smirk on your face as he reaches to wipe your tears away.
He helps you up and kisses you until you're breathless, tasting himself on your tongue.
Your body is pushed down on your bed and Seungmin slots himself between your thighs.
"Tell me, is your collection of toys hidden somewhere around here?"
"Oh, yeah. You wanna see? Maybe use some of them on me?"- you bite on your lip.
"Another time. Tonight I want you to only know the shape of my cock."- he smirks, dragging his already semi-hard cock on your soaking wet pussy.
"S-Seungmin!"- you whimper, your pussy pulsating with arousal and need to be filled up.
He moves back, leaving you wanting more, his hands splayed on your waist and then hips before he quickly turns you around on all fours.
You gasp a little, grabbing at your pillow and you hear the buckle of his belt jingling.
"I want your hands above your head."- he says and you obey, he ties your wrists together and your hands to the bed with his belt.
You whimper as he spreads your legs more and lands a smack on your ass.
"Wanted to feel you for so long."- he runs his tip on your wet pussy, the folds opening up and inviting him in.
"Wanted to make you mine."- he growls lowly, the tip sliding inside you, one of his hands on the back of your neck, holding your head down and the other holding onto your hip.
"Make me yours, Seungmin! I want to be only yours!"- you moan as he slowly pushes in.
"Only my slut, yeah?"
"Yes, only your slut!"- his cock slides in easily due to your wetness and eagerness, he bottoms out quickly, filling you up to the brim and making both of you groan at the feeling.
"S-so full."- you moan, pushing your hips back into him.
"Yeah, you feel full?"- Seungmin chuckles, dragging his cock out before slamming it back into you with force, making your body lunge forward.
"M-more!"- you beg and Seungmin grips both your hips, knowing you can take it hard and fast, he's seen how you fuck yourself multiple times.
His hips start moving faster, slamming into you, his cock abusing your wet hole, the squelching and slapping sounds filling up the room.
"S-spank me, please!"- you moan desperately, your fingers clutching at the belt that's digging into your skin deliciously.
Seungmin indulges you, spanking you hard with every thrust, bringing his weight down onto you as he hovers over you. Your upper body is pressed into the matress, only your ass is up as you take his cock deep inside.
His other hand tangles in your messy hair, gripping a fistful of it.
You're a crying, whining mess as he rips you apart, his cock is unforgiving inside you, better than any plastic toy you have.
"Fuck, you take my cock so well. You're nothing but a little slut. Wouldn't you like it if I turned the camera on now, let everyone watch you get fucked?"
"Mm yes, yes!"- your mind is mushy and you're close, feeling like you're going to explode.
"Cum for me slut. Only for me."- Seungmin growls as he spanks you hard, the tip of his cock hitting your cervix.
"Ah yes! Seungmin!"- you whine loudly, exploding around his length, and he pulls out quickly cumming on your ass as you squirt.
The feeling of his hot cum on your skin makes you whimper as you grip at the belt harder.
The only thing that can be heard for a few moments is both of you breathing heavily before you hear Seungmin standing up and leaving to your bathroom.
You lay with your eyes closed, trying to come back down from the high and he comes back with a warm wet cloth, gently cleaning you up.
"How long are you keeping me tied up?"- you smile cheekily and Seungmin chuckles, your hair is a mess, your glasses lopsided and your cheeks tear stained. You look absolutely adorable to him and he falls into you even more.
"Just a few more moments."- he teases, wiggling his eyebrows, but he reaches for the belt, untying it and freeing your hands.
Your wrists are red and Seungmin gasps a little as you turn around, he gently takes your hands in his and brings them to his lips.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you."- he says.
"No, it's fine. I can take it."- you bite on your lip as he leaves little kisses all over your heated skin.
"I wanted to ask you out on a date but um... I guess we fast-forwarded a little."- Seungmin chuckles as you slowly sit up.
"I'd love to go on a date."- you smile, your hand inching closer to his, your fingers tangling together.
"Could end up a double date with Felix and Hyunjin though."- you add, giggling behind your palm.
"I thought I picked up on that but I wasn't sure."- he shakes his head.
"We'll see tomorrow."- you shrug.
"When's your roommate coming back?"- Seungmin asks, suddenly seeming timid.
"Oh, not in a few days probably. You can stay the night if that's what you're asking."- you smirk and pull him down, grabbing your blanket and throwing it haphazardly around the two of you.
Your legs tangle together and you look at each other, hands gently roaming everywhere.
"Do you mind me stripping and doing all that stuff in front of the camera?"- you ask and Seungmin chuckles.
"No, as long as I'm the only one who gets you in real life."- he kisses your forehead and your heart flutters.
"I like the sound of that."- you smile and settle into the crook of his neck as he wraps his arms around you.
Sleep comes easy to the both of you.
-
The next day as you approach the cafeteria, the two of you see Hyunjin and Felix walking towards you, holding onto each other's pinky fingers.
"Look at that."- you laugh as you near them.
Felix quickly rips his hand away from Hyunjin when he notices both of you walking towards them.
"Hey, why are you ashamed of me! I'm like the hottest guy on campus!"- Hyunjin flails his arms dramatically.
"See, it's that attitude."- Felix comments and both of you laugh.
"And here I thought you liked my cockiness."- Hyunjin narrows his eyes at Felix, a shit-eating grin on his face.
"This is what I put up with."- he shakes his head at the taller boy.
"Is there something the two of you would like to share with us?"- you smirk.
"Only if the two of you also have something to share."- Hyunjin smirks back.
"How about we share a double date on Friday?"- Seungmin asks, winking at you.
"Finally! A foursome!"- Hyunjin exclaims and Felix smacks his arm.
"No more foursomes for you."- he hisses and everyone laughs.
"Alright, alright. You can keep me all to yourself."- Hyunjin wiggles his eyebrows and Felix smiles shyly, his cheeks rosy.
You and Seungmin intertwine your fingers, your palms pressing together as you smile at each other.
Maybe it was meant to be like this from the beginning.
✨Taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @laylasbunbunny @porangporangmeong @jeonginslefthand
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stllmnstr · 2 months
Text
sacred monsters: part one
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pairing: lee heeseung x f reader
genre: academic rivals to lovers, vampire au, slow burn
part one word count: 19.3k
part one warnings: swearing, blood and all sorts of other vampire-y things, semi graphic descriptions/depictions of violence, I don't know anything about publishing and wrote about it anyway, not quite as much in this part, but I want to forewarn you that while there is still nothing explicit, we do get a little ~sexier~ than most stllmnstr fics
note/disclaimer: I have been itching to write an enha vampire fic for ages because hello? the material is RIGHT THERE!! this is a story I'm super excited about, and it's definitely gotten me out of my comfort zone. in order to help build this world, I did draw from some outside sources. primarily, a lot of the vampire lore and some plot elements are inspired by the dark moon webtoon series. I did also pull some things from twilight and other well-known vampire myths. lastly, there is a section with "poetry" in it. these "poems" are translated lyrics from still monster, chaconne, and lucifer by enhypen. some are in their original form and some I altered slightly. everything else is straight from yours truly! as always, happy reading ♡
soundtrack: still monster / moonstruck / lucifer - enhypen / everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears / immortal - marina / supermassive black hole - muse / saturn - sleeping at last / everybody’s watching me (uh oh) - the neighbourhood
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A literature student in your third year of university, you’ve been dreaming of having your writing published for as long as you can remember. With a perfect opportunity dangling at your fingertips, the only obstacle that stands in your way comes in the form of a ridiculously tall, stupidly handsome, and unfortunately, very talented writer by the name of Lee Heeseung. Unwilling to let your dream slip out of reach, you commit to being better than the aforementioned pain in your ass at absolutely everything.
But when a string of vampire attacks strikes close to your city for the first time in nearly two hundred years, publishing is suddenly the last thing on your mind. And, as you soon begin to discover, Heeseung may not quite be the person you thought he was.
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The last sip of your coffee tastes bitter on your tongue. Acidic, like it was left to brew too long. Or maybe not long enough. Your limited knowledge of coffee extends to its effects on your alertness and little else. 
Taste has always been an afterthought, something of little consequence. Besides, some bitterness is to be expected when you take your coffee black. 
Suppressing the small wince that always follows your final sip, you set the reusable thermos down on your desk. Next to your open notebook and favorite ballpoint pen, it settles in nicely with your other class essentials. 
Call it poetic or romantic or unbearably pretentious, but you actually do prefer to take your notes by hand. Partly because it feels more fitting for a literature major and mostly because your laptop is on its last leg and between tuition and rent, you don’t exactly have the funds to shell out for a new one. 
Frowning at the bitter taste that still lingers on your tongue, you feel another pang of regret for forgetting to pack your water bottle this morning. But no matter. Today is a day for optimism. The bitterness now only means that your imminent victory will taste that much sweeter in comparison. 
Because today is the last day of the fall semester of your third year. Which means that this is the last morning you’ll be sitting here in this lecture hall in the minutes preceding 9 am. 
Which means that today is the day of your professor’s long awaited announcement. You still remember the day, nearly four months ago, when he first told the entire room of undermotivated, overcaffeinated students about it. 
A publishing opportunity. A real, actual publishing opportunity. Something most literature students would sell their soul for. 
Because Professor Kim, while a rather mediocre professor who prefers to dish out criticism and bite back praise, has an excellent eye for great writing. So much so that nearly twenty years ago, he founded his very own publishing house. 
Known by the name New Haven Publishing, it’s a small operation that deals mostly in short pieces that are marketed more for niche literary circles than mass public appeal. Being published by New Haven may not be a straight shot to the New York Times’ Best Sellers List, but it’s still professional publishing. 
And a week into classes, he announced that for the first time ever, he would be choosing one of you to not only intern at New Haven the following semester, but also to publish an original piece of short fiction with them. 
You’ve been fantasizing about it for months now. You can already imagine it. A piece of your very own, marketed and edited by professionals. Published and complete with Professor Kim’s stamp of approval. 
It’s what you’ve been craving ever since you decided to switch paths and pursue literature studies at the end of your first semester. It’s everything you’re sure you need. Validation that your writing is good, that your words are worth reading. 
Hell, maybe it will even earn you the approval of your parents. 
And, perhaps most satisfying of all, you will have officially beaten Lee Heeseng once and for all. You don’t want to speak poorly of the rest of your classmates and their writing abilities, but this has always been a competition between you and him. 
Or, at least, it has been for you. 
It’s the last day of the semester, and honestly, you wouldn’t be surprised if Heeseung still had a hard time remembering that the internship was even happening. Then again, you wouldn’t exactly be shocked if he couldn't remember your name, either.  
And if you were hard pressed to choose only one thing, that would probably be what annoys you the most about him. Not the way his hair is alway somehow perfectly mussed. Not the way his writing is painfully beautiful and poetic that you swell green with envy just thinking about it. 
No, the root cause of your infinite ire when it comes to Lee Heeseung is how damn aloof he is. Like his classmates and professors and even his greatest rival aren’t worth the effort of remembering. 
And it’s not like it’s because he’s got some kind of crazy social life outside of academics. Other than mandatory discussion groups, you’re not sure you’ve ever seen him so much as talk to anyone. 
But that’s just the way he is, you suppose. 
Perfect Heeseung with his perfect hair and his perfect writing and perfect attendance record doesn’t need anyone but himself—
Wait. 
Perfect attendance record. 
Glancing at the clock mounted high above the front door of the lecture hall, you can hardly believe what you’re seeing. 
8:59. 
There’s no way. There’s no fucking way that the universe is rooting for you this hard, that the stars are aligning this perfectly. 
Despite your doubts, the second hand continues its onward march. You suppress the sudden urge to bounce your leg in a matching rhythm. 
He has five seconds. 
Four. Three. Two. One. 
And it’s official. A ridiculous amount of pent up tension drains from your shoulders as your spine straightens. You can’t believe it was that easy. 
A semester of agonizing over every word, every sentence, every assignment you handed in for this class. A semester of panicking over missed buses and waking up way too early just to make sure you always beat the clock. 
But today is the day where everything comes to a head. 
And Lee Heeseung is officially late. 
Professor Kim, at the beginning of the semester, had only two pieces of advice to offer his students that were suddenly all gunning for a shot at being published:
One: “Don’t make me read awful writing.”
And two: “Don’t be late to class. I have zero tolerance for tardiness.”
Heeseung has just broken a cardinal rule. One row down, nine seats to the left from where you sit. It’s the place that would usually be filled with an annoyingly broad set of shoulders and distractingly sharp jawline. In fact, Heeseung usually beats you here most days. Not that you’re keeping track, of course. And not that it matters. 
Because this morning, this fateful morning, that particular seat, his seat, is glaringly, gloriously empty. 
Your eyes flicker over to it again without your permission. But you can’t help it. You’re so antsy now, teeming with self-satisfied excitement. It’s almost unbelievable actually. A golden stroke of luck that he chose today, of all days, to be late.
In fact, you think the more you stare at the empty seat, Lee Heeseung is such a reliable presence that the entire lecture hall suddenly seems a bit off kilter. Tilted too far in some precarious state of imbalance. 
Your smugness is still there, yes, but now there’s also a heavy feeling beginning to settle at the bottom of your gut. Why on earth is Lee Heeseung late?
You’re so distracted by his absence, the endless loop of possibilities and explanations running through your mind, that you almost miss the second abnormality of the morning. 
Because now the clock reads 9:04, and Heeseung isn’t the only one missing. 
All at once, your attention is on the podium at the front of the lecture hall. It’s empty, too. And Professor Kim may be a hardass, but he’s no hypocrite. Never once throughout this entire semester has he ever begun a class even a millisecond late.
Frowning, you pull out your phone to confirm that the clock on the wall is not playing tricks on you. Maybe there was a power outage or something, and maintenance hasn’t had time to correct it yet. 
But your phone screen lights up, and 9:05 is the time that stares back at you. 
Glancing around, no one else seems too particularly bothered by this. There are a few titters, a few annoyed grumbles that sound like hypocrite and double standard where they reach your ears. 
But still, the clock ticks forward. 
The minute hand has fallen another two notches when the front door finally opens, Professor Kim striding in unhurried. Despite his lateness, his steps are steady, even. There’s nothing frantic or apologetic about the way he sets his briefcase down next to the podium, pulling out his laptop and a small stack of notes before clearing his throat. 
As the students around you fall silent, class begins as it always does. Other than the time, nothing is out of the ordinary. 
But your spirits are still high, and you figure you can cut your professor some slack. Maybe he ran into a bad bit of traffic or spilled coffee all over his shirt. Maybe he’s too embarrassed to draw more attention to his error and has decided that not acknowledging it at all is the best course of action. 
Oh, well. It’s no use ruminating on it now. Settling back into your seat, you do your best to focus your attention on the front of the room and not that damn empty chair. But the distraction isn’t necessary for long. 
The clock is just striking 9:12 when a second late arrival draws the eyes of the class to the front door of the lecture hall. Like your professor, Heeseung maintains a certain air of composedness as he makes his way towards his seat wordlessly. 
There’s a moment, a fraction of a second, where Professor Kim pauses, letting a sentence drift into silence. 
Twelve minutes late. It’s a rookie mistake. For a fleeting moment, you almost feel bad for him. Because surely Professor Kim is about to make an example of him. No one walks into his lectures late and leaves unscathed. 
Wincing, you remember a handful of weeks ago when a poor girl that sits a few rows behind you arrived late. Not only had Professor Kim stopped the entire flow of his lecture to draw attention to her tardiness, he had also assigned her an extra short story for homework. One on the merits of punctuality.
But the ebb in the lecture begins to flow again, the moment passing as soon as it comes. Heeseung settles into his chair. Your professor resumes his sentence. 
For the remainder of the class, you do your best to pay attention, but you’re having trouble finding a point. It’s not like he can assign homework or an exam or a discussion on the last day of the semester. 
Like you, most of your peers are fully zoned out, just waiting for him to get to what everyone has been dying to know for months. 
Who’s interning at New Haven? Who’s getting published?
But distractions in this class have never been hard to come by. More than once, you find your wandering gaze drifting to the back of Heeseung’s head. Usually, you’d be bitterly admiring how soft his hair looks. But today, there’s only one question that plays in your mind as you stare. 
What on earth happened that made perfect Lee Heeseung late?
Your thoughts are only interrupted by the sudden shuffle of small movement around you as everyone sits up a bit straighter in their seats. 
“Ah,” Professor Kim glances at the time. “That wraps up our semester, then. As promised, I would like to announce the student who will be interning with New Haven Publishing this upcoming semester. And, of course, the student that will have the opportunity to publish an original piece with us.”
He pauses for a moment, looking down at his notes. You wonder if the people sitting close to you can hear the way your heart pounds in your chest. 
Please be me. Please be me. Please be me. 
The rushing in your ears is so loud that you almost miss it. But not quite. Because the sound of your own name is something you’d recognize anywhere. 
Because it was your name that he said. Not anyone else’s. Not Heeseung’s.
You. You did it. 
You’re officially going to be interning with New Haven. You’re going to be published. 
When he asks you to stay a minute after class to discuss the details, it’s all you can do to nod. Butterflies are still scattered in your stomach. 
As the rest of the students begin to file out, you pack up your materials with hands that shake slightly. It doesn’t feel real. It feels too good to be true. You poured your everything into this all semester long, and now it’s actually happening. 
Your mind is a mess, and an erratic movement almost sends your empty thermos flying. Luckily, you snap out of it long enough to  catch it before it hits the ground. With everything packed back into your bag, you make your way down to the podium on slightly unsteady feet. 
A handful of passing classmates congratulate you on their way out, and you smile in return. 
You’ve almost made it to the front of the lecture hall when a body blocks your path. It takes a moment for your brain to register the identity of the offender. And once it does, it spits his name with venom. Heeseung. 
Oblivious and self-centered as always, he nearly knocks you over. Rolling your eyes, you move to step around him. Apparently whatever gift he was given for writing doesn’t extend to his spatial awareness or consideration for others. 
But as you lean to the left, he follows the movement, still in your path. Your gaze snaps up, eyebrows raised when you find him already looking at you. 
Oh. So it’s not a spatial awareness problem, then. He’s in your way on purpose. 
As always, his expression is infuriatingly blank. You can’t get any sort of read on him, and it unnerves you. Irritates you. Here he is, blocking your path, and the only thing he has to offer you is an empty, silent stare.
You could just say excuse me, force your way around him, and be done with it. You should. The semester is over, your professor’s decision is made, and you have no stake left in this game. 
But you’ve been biting back snarky comments and masking irritated expressions with mild indifference for months. The nerve he has to block you. The utter gall of it all. To physically stand in your way when he’s been your metaphorical obstacle to success all semester. 
When every time you look at him, you still remember that one sunny afternoon, early in the semester. The time you tried, actually tried to be his friend. When he waved you off like a buzzing fly that was nothing more than a nuisance. 
You inhale, weighing your options. His head tilts slightly at the movement, and it’s your last straw. 
There’s poison in your voice when you bite, “Oh, what? Now that I’ve proved myself, you can spare some time out of your day to talk to me?”
Heeseung’s eyes widen, lips parting slightly. It’s the most emotion you’ve ever seen from him, and he’s wasting it on shock. As if he can’t quite comprehend why the girl he’s been giving headaches for months might not want to stop and have a friendly chat with him. Not that you imagine he’d even be capable of that if you tried. 
Already, you regret your comment. In a perfect world, you wouldn’t have said anything. You’d be just as detached and cold and aloof as he was on that day you hate to think about. You still remember it like it was yesterday. Without your permission, the memory floats front and center to your mind. 
It was warmer, then. The last clutches of summer were still holding on tight. Sunlight was bright in the sky, and it felt like a good time to breach the barrier of your comfort zone. 
Class had just ended. Usually, Heeseung was one of the first to leave. You had to pack up abnormally quickly just to catch him in the quad right outside the lecture hall. 
But you did catch up to him.
And in a voice braver than you felt, you asked, “Hey, it’s Heeseung, right?” 
You’d been brighter, then. Still full of an energy you haven’t been able to muster since midterms. Not yet burdened by the weight of assignments and rejection, your disposition was as sunny as the sky above. 
Heeseung hadn’t bothered to dignify your question with an actual answer, but he had at least stopped walking, and that seemed like an invitation at the time. Now, with the power of hindsight, you wince. You should have spared yourself the regret.
You remember watching as he pulled out his earbuds, tucking them back into his pocket before turning his attention to you. Or at least half of it. Even then, you never felt like he was truly looking at you, hearing you. His mind always seemed off in the distance, preoccupied somewhere you could never quite reach. 
You recall being nervous, heat in your cheeks as you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His eyes tracked the movement like a cat tracks a ray of sunlight. Lazily, intently. With an energy you weren’t quite sure what to do with. 
Instead, you had stuttered, “I, uh, I wanted to tell you that I thought your analysis today was brilliant.” The worst part is that it really was a brilliant analysis. Although you’d never admit that today, and much less to his face. 
Instead, you cringe just thinking about it. You should have taken his blank stare as a sign. You should have just let the one-sided conversation die there. With at least a little dignity and some of your pride left to spare. 
But you hadn’t. 
“I never thought about the use of sunlight as a metaphor for life. I mean, now that you’ve pointed it out, it seems kind of obvious.” The memory of your nervous giggles settle like rocks in your stomach. “Anyway, I feel like I’m rambling, but if you ever want to get together and look through assignments or review each other’s analyses, I’d love to—”
You’d heard his voice before, of course. In class discussions and presentations. But never this close. And never directed at you. 
He kept it short, his interruption, his response to your shaky offer. 
“I’m busy.”
And that was it. Two words. Two fucking words. And not even an explanation or an I’m sorry or a sheepish expression to go along with them. 
With that, you’d watched, a bit helplessly, as he pulled his earbuds out of his pocket, put them back into his ears and turned away from you before you could realize just how thoroughly you’d been rejected. 
With a sudden haze in the air and hope dying in your heart, your friendly smile slipped into confused dismay as you watched him track a steady path across the quad. 
If your cheekbones felt warm before, you were sure they must have been aflame by then. After all, it was your body’s natural response to the crushing weight of the embarrassment and thoroughly bruised ego he’d left you there standing with. 
Fine then, you’d resolved after walking as quickly as you could in the opposite direction, sending a prayer to the heavens that no one from your class had just witnessed the most mortifying interaction you’ve ever had. If Lee Heeseung wanted nothing to do with you, the feeling could be mutual. 
In fact, it was probably for the best. You were vying for that internship and if the past class discussions were anything to go by, Heeseung would be your only real competition. If he was too busy for you, then you would just have to be too busy for him. 
Too busy perfecting every assignment and acing every exam. Too busy drowning in dictionaries and thesauruses and reference materials to make sure everything you submitted was perfect — no, scratch that — better than perfect. 
Too busy to attempt another conversation or interaction or do anything but nod along politely whenever he did make an unfortunately great point in class. 
So, no. Heeseung doesn’t get to dictate your time or attention or conversation now that you’ve actually been awarded with a publishing opportunity, now that all of your efforts and dedication and late nights have paid off. 
If Lee Heeseung wants a bit of your attention on today of all days, at this moment of all moments, then you’re just going to have to be too busy to entertain him. 
Standing in front of you, still blocking your path to the podium, Heeseung has the nerve to look confused. As if you have no reason to give him the cold shoulder. As if you’re the one being unreasonable here. 
His brow furrows further. “What?” It’s the third word he’s ever spoken directly to you. It makes your blood boil. “No, I…” he trails off. You can practically see the gears running in his mind, like this wasn’t the conversation he expected to be having. Like he has no idea how to navigate it now. “I was just going to say that you should maybe reconsider.”
Your voice is ice when you ask, “Reconsider what?” 
“Well…” He’s treading in dangerous territory, and he seems to realize it too. “The internship,” he clarifies, and it’s the second most insulting thing he’s ever said to your face. 
You screw your eyes shut. Cold and detached. Blank and aloof. All the things you should be. But you’ve always run a little hot. And end of the semester exhaustion finds you more willing to throw caution to the wind. 
“You have got to be fucking with me.” Eyes reopening, you’re met with that same expression of mild shock. Brows raised, lips parted. And god, he even looks good like that. “Yeah, right. Let me guess, so you can do the internship and publish a piece of your own? If all you came over to do is insult me, then save your breath.”
“What?” He still looks so damn confused. “No, I—”
You don’t want to hear it. “I have nothing to say to you.” If he won’t get out of your way, you’ll just have to go through him. The shoulder check is maybe slightly more intense than it needs to be as you shove your way past him. He barely stumbles back an inch. It makes you want to rip your hair out. “Besides,” you add, not bothering to turn back to look at him. “I’m busy.”
It’s a dig at him, yes, but it’s also true. You are. This is the opportunity of a lifetime, and Lee Heeseung is not about to ruin it for you. 
To your unending gratitude, he doesn’t try to intercept you again. Your path to the front of the lecture hall is clear, and Professor Kim is just tucking his laptop back into his briefcase when you reach the podium. 
Ultimately, it’s a watered down version of the million times you’ve imagined this moment in your head. Even coming on the tail end of the most annoying interaction you’ve had in months. Professor Kim congratulates you again, and hands you a printed schedule of when you’ll be expected at the publishing office for the first time. 
There are also submission dates. Deadlines for you to submit drafts of the piece that you’ll be publishing. You take it all in with a beam and enthusiastic nods, mishap with Heeseung from minutes ago all but forgotten. 
That is, until Professor Kim’s gaze lands somewhere over your shoulder after he tells you he’ll also send you a follow-up email with all the information you need. 
You watch as his expression shifts, something uneasy, distrustful entering his gaze as he looks beyond you. “Something I can help you with, Mr. Lee?”
Following his gaze, you turn to look behind you. The lecture hall is empty, students cleared out from the class that dismissed nearly five minutes ago. All except for one, that is. 
Gone is the shock from Heeseung’s delicately sharp features. Instead, he wears his mask of indifference again, betraying no emotion. You must be imagining the way it looks almost strained this time, as if he’s forcing his expression into neutrality instead of it there of its own accord. 
Wordlessly, his gaze shifts to you. 
And now it’s your turn to be confused, but you won’t let it last long. At least not outwardly. You’re quick to match his gaze with nothing but pure ire, venom dripping seeping from every inch of your glare. 
Is he seriously still trying to ruin this for you? So much for being busy. 
“No, sir.” Heeseung shakes his head. He’s addressing your professor, but he’s still looking at you. A muscle ticks in his jaw, betrays a hint of tension. “I was just on my way out.”
True to his word, he begins a steady descent towards the front door. 
Your professor clears his throat, turns his attention back to you, resuming the wrap-up of your conversation. 
You’re extra grateful for that follow-up email now, given the way movement in your periphery distracts you from Professor Kim’s last few statements. Instead, your focus hones in on the even footsteps that carry Heeseung to the door, allow him to slip through it silently. 
It must be a trick of the light, must be a figment of your overworked, over irritated imagination. But you swear you see him linger there, just on the other side of the small glass window carved into the door. 
Professor Kim says his parting words, and you thank him one final time. If there’s an unnatural quickness in your footsteps as you turn to leave, you tell yourself that it’s because you’re excited to get started on your draft, not because you have the sneaking suspicion Heeseung is still standing just on the other side of the door. 
But you swear that’s his silhouette you see as you draw closer, shrouded in shadows but distinct all the same. You’re debating the merits of shouting at him or maybe accidentally shoulder checking him again as you pull open the door handle, a little more roughly than you intend. 
But the only thing that greets you on the other side of the door is a nearly empty hallway, save for the pair of students bent over a laptop a few paces away. You ignore their twin expressions of shock as you let the door fall closed behind you, much more calmly than you opened it. 
…..
The blank expanse of your notebook stares at you accusingly. 
You’d stare back, if that would somehow make words appear on the page. Sighing, you reach for your long forgotten cup of tea sitting on your desk. Taking a slow sip, you realize it’s gone cold. 
That just makes you double down on your frustration. How long have you been sitting here, waiting for inspiration to strike? 
People always talk about the merits of a change in scenery, but ever since you started your first semester of university three years ago, your favorite place to write has always been here, at the small, simple desk that sits in the corner of your bedroom. 
Back then, writing was a hobby. Something to do when the last of your biochemistry homework was finished. A way to release pent-up stress and tension from long days in the university lab and long hours feeling like you were drowning between all of the extra study sessions, TA workshops, and office hours. 
At first, it had been worth it. You maintained high grades and high spirits. Mostly because of the small sprinkles of support your parents showered you with. 
Every little You got this! that lit up your phone screen on dreary afternoons and We believe in you! that made your evening lectures a little more bearable felt like tokens of your parents’ affection. Something tangible to show for the care they held for you. 
Most of all, you cherished the We’re proud of you messages. You can’t remember the last time you received one. 
And it’s not like they were mad, exactly, when you told them you wanted to change majors. They did their best to be supportive in the ways that they knew how. 
For your father, that was concern. “Are you sure? Literature? What do the job prospects after graduation look like?”
And for your mother, that was letting you know that she thought you were capable of more. Of better. “It’s not that literature is bad, sweetie. It’s just… Well, you’ve always been such a smart girl…”
You get it; you really do. All the questions and prodding comments that felt like criticism were wrapped in nothing but love. But that didn’t do much to soften the sting. 
In the end, it was this desk that made you follow through with your change in major. Slumped in your hand-me-down chair late one Friday night, half finished lab report sitting untouched in your bag, the threat of tears burning at the corners of your eyes, all you wanted to do was write.  
To put into words the feelings and emotions and fantasies and frustrations that you could never seem to express otherwise. To commit a piece of your soul to paper and wonder if maybe, just maybe, there was someone else out there who would read it and find a sense of solidarity, of common ground. 
You submitted your official change request the next morning. You never regretted it once. 
But your parents still make comments, still share their concerns. And for the last three years, you haven’t had anything to show for it except for empty promises. But now, you have something. A real something. 
Publishing a story of your own is the exact validation that you need that your choice was the right one. And it’s the proof you need to assuage your parents’ fears, to show them that pursuing literature was the right call. That you can carve out a life for yourself with it. 
You’ve fantasized about this for years. For the chance to have your voice heard, your words read. There are a million half-baked thoughts and partially written drafts scattered in your notebooks and digital documents and on the corners of takeout napkins that have been lying in wait for a moment just like this. 
But no matter how hard you stare at the page in front of you, the words just won’t come. The more old drafts you scour, the more amateur your writing feels. The more you feel like maybe Heeseung should have won the internship over you. 
It’s a miserable cycle your brain works itself into. The less you write, the more you criticize, the more you wonder. 
What if he hadn’t been late that morning? What if Professor Kim was hoping to choose him instead? What if the reason he didn’t say anything when Heeseung finally arrived in class was because he was so disappointed that his first choice wasn’t an option anymore?
Groaning out loud to an empty room, your head falls on your desk with a muted thud. 
It’s there, facedown on your desk, where an idea strikes you. If you can’t manifest a draft out of thin air, maybe you just need some parameters. A general guide to get the creative juices flowing. 
Lifting your head back up, you push your notebook to the side and reach for your laptop. Opening a web browser, you navigate to New Haven Publishing House’s homepage. 
It’s a simple website, reflective of its simple namesake. Chin in one hand, you click the link that reads Recently Published. 
The list that pops up is modest. Unlike a larger, more corporate publishing house, your professor’s self-made enterprise is churning out new releases at a slower rate and smaller volume. 
Perusing the titles and descriptions, you note that the vast majority of the works are short form fiction. There are very few full length novels. The majority is made up of essay and poetry collections, short stories, and memoirs. 
Scanning the list again, a title close to the top catches your eye. 
The Thirst for Revenge: An Analysis of Contemporary Vampire Activity. It was published less than a month ago. 
Your cursor hovers over the link, brow furrowing. It strikes you as odd that something so… archaic would be published so recently. 
Professor Kim has always come across as a discerning man. Someone that prides himself on his well curated taste. 
But vampires… that’s hardly a headline worthy topic these days. 
While most people still practice caution walking down dark alleyways at night and some even go so far as to carry charms infused with garlic cloves, monsters of the night are by and large a thing of the past.
The entire species of bloodthirsty, ravaging immortals were hunted to near extinction almost two hundred years ago. Those that survived relocated to remote areas. Some adapted to life in the countryside by learning to enjoy the taste of animal blood. Others found humans willing to donate small portions of their own blood intermittently. You won’t pretend to understand, but you suppose it’s preferable to the alternative.  
Some still hunted in the traditional way, of course, but vampire attacks on humans are few are far between these days. After all, vampires, as a means of survival, have all but forsaken major urban areas. Population density spells demise for their species. 
You’d have to confirm through research, but if you remember correctly, the last recorded vampire-related death in your city was nearly two hundred years ago. 
Without bothering to click on the link, you continue scrolling down. Honestly, it was probably just a fluke. After all, who knows? Maybe there’s some niche circle out there that enjoys analyzing vampire literature, regardless of how outdated it is. 
The next title seems a bit more promising. Shadowless Nights. The brief description marks it as a short story published half a year ago. 
You click on it, take a sip of room temperature tea while the page loads. 
Night was my favorite time of day, the first line reads. 
I loved the stillness of it all, the all encompassing serenity. With the moon in the sky and stars in my eyes, every moment felt like a secret between me and the universe. Something we alone shared. 
I whispered secrets to the earth and held hers in return. My days felt like dreams. Distant, blurry, faded. It was only then, in the distinct stillness of midnight, that I truly came alive. 
Interesting, you think. It’s a bit more melodramatic than you expected, but maybe your professor prefers a poetic touch. 
In the night, I earned peace. And in the night, I learned fear. 
It came slowly at first, that sinking feeling of dread. The horrible suspicion that made the hair on the back of my neck feel sharp, the air in my throat feel shallow. 
But if I have learned anything of monsters, it is that they revel in that fear. That sickeningly overt reminder of mortality, of humanity. The way I couldn’t help the racing of my pulse, the darting of my eyes. 
He enjoyed it, toying with me from the shadows. Watching me become desperate, watching me become weak. 
But it paled in comparison, I’m sure, with what came next. Every story has its climax, and every beginning has its end. For him, it was the sweet, clean taste of my blood. 
Wait. Another vampire story? One was strange enough, but for the last two published works at New Haven to be vampire related doesn’t feel like a coincidence. Especially since the more you read, the more you realize it’s not as much of a story as it is thinly veiled anti-vampire rhetoric. 
The dramatized descriptions of a weak, innocent female lead being victimized by a faceless, bloodthirsty monster. It just feels… strange. Outdated. Irrelevant, even. 
Clicking back to the list, you scan over the next five entries. All of them are more or less the same. Some are more metaphorical than others, abstract in their rhetoric, but the topic is always the same. And the conclusion always affirms the immense, inevitable, irredeemable blight that vampirism is to the world. 
It’s just bizarre. Especially considering that Professor Kim never once had you analyze any anti-vampire propaganda throughout the entire semester. In fact, you were never assigned to read anything vampire related at all. 
If this type of literature is so central to his professional career, it doesn't make sense to you that he wouldn’t incorporate it into his class. Especially considering the fact that he was awarding an internship at New Haven to one of the students. 
You take another long sip of cold tea. Well… you could try to come up with something that aligns with the current profile of New Haven’s recently published works. It’s not like you’ve ever written anything related to vampires. Maybe you just need to think of it as a writing exercise, a challenge of sorts. Producing a piece that feels relevant and fresh even if the central topic is a bit out of style. 
According to the revision schedule Professor Kim gave you, your first draft issue in a week and a half. The same day that you’re set to go to New Haven for the first time and tour the office you’ll be interning at once winter break is over. It’s an ambitious timeline, but he did specify that he’s looking more for a solid concept than a well polished draft. But something in you wants to have more than just a concept. You want his approval, to impress him. 
So you have a week and a half to come up with a draft that will catch his attention, that will convince him that you were the right choice for this opportunity. Not anyone else in your class. Not Heeseung. You. 
A concept that will excite New Haven Publishing House’s usual reader base, that will maybe actually earn you some commercial success. 
A story that will prove to your parents that literature was the right choice for you. That your words do matter, that you can make a name for yourself with your writing. 
Well, you think, suppressing an internal groan, it looks like you have your work cut out for you. 
…..
Despite your admitted lack of vampiric knowledge, once you have your topic, the words start to flow. You’re not sure if it’s your best work. You’re not even sure if it’s good. But it feels a hell of a lot better than staring at a blank page for hours. 
This afternoon finds you in the corner of your favorite coffee shop. Mostly because they offer half priced lattes on Wednesdays. As you make a dent in yours, the pen in your other hand continues to fly over the pages of your notebook, occasionally stopping to scratch out a word or rewrite a sentence. 
The bare bones are there. Just like in the handful of stories you perused on New Haven’s website, your plot features a young woman. It’s a historic setting, mostly because you still can’t quite bring yourself to write vampires into the modern day when the reality is so starkly different. 
And it’s not a vampire story. At least not at first glance. Instead, you weave an enduring metaphor to symbolize a parasitic relationship between two lovers.
The woman in your draft is young, full of life and energy and optimism. And she dreams. Vivid, brilliant dreams that she clings to in order to escape the harshness of her reality as a lower class woman in the countryside. 
Her husband, however, is a brute. Older than her and with a decidedly less sunny disposition. When he learns that his health is failing, he discovers that he can heal himself temporarily by stealing these dreams from her. 
So, no. It’s not overtly about vampires. But it does fall into step with some of the more abstract anti-vampire tropes you came across in your preliminary research. 
Crossing a dark line through the word you just penned, you sigh. 
This is the fastest you’ve put a story together in ages. It’s cohesive, and the writing is solid. Your use of metaphor is strong and concise, and the prose feels true to your identity as a writer. 
But something in you withers a bit with every new word you commit to paper. It’s not that you hate your topic. If anything, it’s just that you have no stake in it at all. It doesn't feel innovative or exciting or representative of your creativity. 
No matter how easily the words flow out of you, something about it just feels… flat. One dimensional. 
You need something new. A different angle or an alternative perspective or… Or a fresh set of eyes. 
Struck with a sudden idea, you pull out your phone, plan taking form in your mind. The literature club at your university hosts bimonthly peer review sessions, and you haven’t taken advantage of them nearly as much as you should. They’re a chance for any writer, literature major or otherwise, to come together and workshop any piece of writing of their choice. 
Tapping your finger impatiently on the table, you wait for the page to load. The fall semester did end almost a week ago, so it may be a long shot. You’re not sure if the club typically holds sessions over winter break. But as you pull up the club’s calendar of events, a small smile tugs at your lips. 
Luck seems to be on your side this time. It’s written there in plain, bold font that there will be a session this upcoming Friday evening. That means that if you attend the session and get some solid ideas for revision, you’ll have exactly five days to refine your draft before you present it to Professor Kim. 
The idea of having not only a topic, as the schedule outlined, but an actual complete,  well-written draft to show him next Wednesday, turns your small smile into one that overtakes your features. 
Energized with a new vigor, you reach for your pen again. It doesn’t have to be perfect, you remind yourself, even as a turn of phrase makes you cringe. Even as a piece of punctuation feels out of place. It just needs to be written. You just need to have as much content as you can to share on Friday. 
Besides, you’re sure that a second opinion will help you fine tune this story into something you’re proud to share, something you’re excited to attach your name to.
The afternoon is quick to blur into early evening, and you’re still bent over your favorite corner table. Coffee long drained, you’re full of a new confidence. The thought of proving yourself suddenly doesn’t seem like such an unachievable, out of reach task. 
And when you do finally gather up all of your belongings and make your way back to your apartment for the night, you’re sure that this is the exact boost you needed. 
That same stroke of self-assuredness carries you all the way through a finished first draft. It’s rough and messy and littered with loose ends, but it’s tucked away in the bottom of your tote bag with a smile as you haul it to classroom number 105 in the university liberal arts building Friday evening. 
You pause at the door to the classroom, only for a moment. The inhale you breathe in is deep, full. Nodding to yourself once, you push open the door. 
You haven’t been to one of these workshop sessions since the second semester of your first year, back when you had just switched to a literature major. You remember being wide-eyed and incredibly protective over your work. It was hard to part with it, to let anyone else read over the sentences you were so unsure of. The writing you had little confidence in. 
But your partner had been kind. Another girl in her first year, she had nothing but gentle feedback to give and reassurance that your writing was worth reading. Honestly, it was such an overwhelmingly positive experience that you would have come back for more sessions if you weren’t constantly struggling to find minutes to spare in the day. 
You’re hoping that tonight will be just as rewarding as you enter the classroom, tote bag in tow. But as you survey the space around you, your face falls flat, easy going smile dropping from your lips. 
You weren’t expecting a big crowd, considering that it is winter break and most students are deliberately avoiding campus right now, but you were hoping there’d be more than one other person in attendance. 
Well, you think, deciding to look on the bright side of things. At least you’re not the only person. 
The other attendee is sitting in the far corner of the room, occupying a desk near the front of the classroom. At the sound of your entrance, they turn to face you. 
With that, your small disappointment is quick to snowball into an intense wave of exasperation. Because why is the universe so hellbent on playing games with you?
Your mouth drops open without your permission. “Heeseung?” 
Your sudden outburst fills the room and lingers long into the awkward silence that follows. You hadn’t meant to say anything, but really, what are the god forsaken odds?
If he’s bothered by your reaction to seeing him, Heeseung doesn’t show it. Instead he looks strangely… relieved. It makes absolutely no sense for him to feel any sort of relief at the sight of you, but it’s hard to put a more apt descriptor to the way tension drains from his shoulders, crease between his brows softening as he looks at you, scans you from head to toe. 
A moment of stilted silence passes between the two of you. Another. Your heartbeat feels too loud in your chest.
You exhale, a cross between a scoff and a laugh so humorless it could freeze a flame. Weighing your options, the most tempting by far is to just turn on your heel and exit the way you came. 
Heeseung seems to read your intention before you can commit to it. 
Breaking the heaviness in the atmosphere, he acts as if you’ve greeted him like an old friend, not as the source of all your recent headaches. 
“Hi,” he nods, so tentatively you almost want to let your jaw drop open in shock. Almost. 
Because what the fuck does he mean by ‘Hi?’ This has to be some kind of mind game, some way to get in your head and ruin this for you. 
“Right.” Your lips pull into a tight line. You don’t bother to return his greeting. “I’m just gonna go, then.” Hiking up your bag on your shoulder, you turn to do just that. Your first draft will just have to be unpolished. Oh, well. You’re sure Professor Kim will have better feedback for you than Lee Heeseung ever would anyway. 
Once again, Heeseung’s voice cuts across the classroom. “Wait.” There’s a command in his voice. Gentle, but firm. Insistent. So pervasive that you find yourself following without really meaning to. 
Mind made up and dead set on leaving, now you’re just annoyed. What a waste of a Friday evening.
“What?” You turn back to him. You’re not sure if there’s more venom in your voice or your eyes. 
And Heeseung, who commands a classroom with quiet grace, with his steady, unwavering presence, suddenly looks so damn unsure. As if tormenting you is uncharted territory. As if he’s never once left you in the cold with flaming cheeks and a thoroughly shattered ego. 
“I…” he trails off, not quite meeting your furious gaze. “Didn’t you come here to get feedback?”
“Right.” You scoff again. “Because I’m sure you’d love nothing more than to tear my writing to shreds. Forgive me, but I’m not interested in being the butt end of your joke tonight.”
“What?” If you didn’t know any better, the ignorance he feigns would be rather convincing. “That’s not why I’m here.” He shakes his head. “I brought something I want reviewed too.” 
Your brow arches. He can’t be serious. “Even if I did stay,” you counter, “you’re actually the last person I would want to read my work. Feel free to be offended by that, by the way.”
For a solid minute, Heeseung just looks at you. He wears that same damn deer-in-the-headlights expression he had after you brushed him off when he intercepted you in class the other day. He pauses, weighing words on his tongue. “Look, ____.” The sound of your name on his lips strikes a strange chord in you. Until now, you were certain he didn’t even know it. “Did I do something to offend—”
And no. Absolutely not. No way are you rehashing that day in the quad with him now. 
“You know what,” you interrupt. You need to go. Now. You need an out. “I’m actually, like, super tired. I think I’m just gonna head back, and—”
But then it’s his turn to cut off your train of thought. “It’s your piece for Professor Kim, isn’t it?” Heeseung takes your silence as confirmation. “Publishing is a big deal. A second set of eyes will only make your work stronger. And if you hate my feedback, it’s not like you have to use any of it.”
You hate it. You despise the way his reasoning matches your internal monologue nearly word for word. The way your thoughts align exactly. 
You pause, a decision weighing heavy on your mind. He is an excellent writer… There would probably be substance to his feedback. Real, actual, good substance that you could use to make your writing bloom into something truly amazing. He could be the exact spark you need to make your story come to life. 
You purse your lips. “What’s in it for you?”
Heeseung smiles, a nearly imperceptible quirk of his lips. He knows he’s won. “Like I said, I brought something I’ve been working on.” There’s an intention you can’t quite read behind his gaze when he adds, “I want to know what you think of it.”
Hook, line, and sinker.
With a grumble, you take reluctant steps towards where he sits on the opposite side of the classroom. And if you slide down into the seat next to him with a little more force than necessary, well, it’s just because you’ve had a long week. No other reason. None at all. 
“Fine,” you relent, reaching to pull your notebook out of your bag. “You get twenty minutes.”
“That’s not nearly long eno—”
“Thirty,” you concede. “And don’t push it.”
Sensing your disdain, Heeseung doesn’t respond. Instead, he accepts the notebook you reluctantly hand him with an outstretched hand and an open palm. The transfer between the two of you is gentle. You have the distinct sense that he’ll treat your work with care, in more than one way. 
Still, something in your heart seizes at the thought of letting your work be read. Of letting him be the one to read it. 
In return, he offers you a notebook of his own. Bound in brown, aged leather, it’s certainly much more refined than yours. Of course. 
He hands it to you still closed. Staring down at the cover, you ask, “What page?” It feels intrusive to start flipping through his writing uninvited. 
“There’s a bookmark.” Heeseung nods his chin towards the small piece of paper sticking out of the top edge that you missed at first glance. 
And then the transfer is complete. A piece of your heart is spread open on his desk, and a piece of his soul is in your hands. 
Ignoring the way your fingers tremble with a slight shake, you delicately open his notebook to the bookmarked page, letting it fall open on the desk in front of you. 
At first glance, the writing strikes you as odd. The paragraphs are strange lengths, ending at random junctures instead of extending all the way to the margins. And then it hits you. They’re not paragraphs. They’re stanzas. 
Poetry. Lee Heeseung writes poetry. 
You sneak a sidelong glance at him out of your periphery. He’s already engrossed in the pages of your notebook, pausing occasionally to jot a note down on a scrap piece of paper. His brow is furrowed, and there’s a tension in his jawline that only makes it sharper. 
Still, the image of his profile is shrouded in a distinct sort of softness. The kind of effortless beauty that feels like it should be reserved for intimate moments in the dead of night, secrets passed between lovers. It’s wasted under the fluorescent lights and patchy, beige walls of an underfunded classroom, but you waste another minute staring at him all the same. 
For a fleeting moment, it’s not hard to imagine those hands, those long, delicate fingers maintaining an even grip on a ballpoint pen to write something as romantic as poetry. 
Shaking your head, you clear the errant thoughts. Instead, you turn your focus back to the page in front of you and begin with the first poem. Forcing your eyes to focus, you read. 
As if nothing happened,
She looks at me
With shadowless eyes.
But it is me who has been 
Forgiven and reborn countless times.
You inhale. Exhale. Short and succinct with a distinct twinge of tragedy. That was… not what you were expecting. Pushing forward, you move onto the next entry. 
Even the stars in the universe
Will close their eyes one day.
Underneath their watchful gaze,
All of these moments are precious.
For memory, for regret,
I will carve them
Into the repetition of the moment.
Again, you pause, taking a moment to breathe. It’s so… melancholy, so poignant in its evocation of pain, of regret. While you’ve been familiar with Heeseung’s ability to analyze the hell out of a novella, this was not something you thought you’d find in his repertoire. And the more you read on, the more you realize these aren’t flukes. This is his identity as a writer, or at least a significant part of it. 
The world that abandoned us
Slowly turns to ash. 
But I don’t feel the pain. 
I only feel the cold.
My god. You nearly close the notebook on instinct. Without your permission, your eyes flick ove to the desk next to you. The broad set of shoulders that fill the seat. What has this boy been through? Why is he letting you read this? 
Heeseung looks up. Not at you, but the movement is enough to startle you out of your staring. Returning your eyes to his notebook, you read the last entry on the page. 
A shaded castle with no sun
The thick scent of dying roses never fades. 
In a broken mirror, I see myself. 
And my reflection whispers, “Monster.”
The breath you release is long. Audible. You’re overcome with the urge to run your fingers over his words, to feel the indents his pen made as he carved pain into the page. His writing is gorgeous. It’s beautifully, tragically haunting. Of that much, you’re certain. But you have no idea what to do with that information. 
His words feel too raw, too terribly intimate. Like something that was never meant for your eyes. You can’t understand what on earth possibly possessed him to let — no — to encourage you to read these. 
You can’t fathom any kind of feedback you could offer him. These feel like pieces of his soul, not something to be commodified or commented on in a writing workshop. Discussed in the cold, unfeeling walls of an old classroom.
Despite the discomfort that lingers with each passing stanza, his writing has an almost addictive quality. Over and over, you find yourself rereading each brief poem. You’re searching for meaning, for clarity, for something hidden between the lines that you missed on your first handful of reads. 
Thirty minutes pass in a trance, and Heeseung, true to his word, is the one to break the silence when your half hour is up. 
Mind still reeling, you realize with a sinking feeling that you have absolutely no feedback to give him at all. 
Instead, you turn to face him. Throwing a meaningful glance at where your notebook still lies open on the desk in front of him. Doing your best to not look too hopeful, you ask, “Well?”
For a moment, Heeseung just looks at you, an unreadable expression on his face. Tension pulls at his temple, his jaw. Frustration seeps from beneath his skin, and you can’t tell where it’s directed. 
“Oh, come on,” you prod when his silence extends even longer. “I know you’re dying to spill the gory details of how grossly incompetent I am and how horrifically amateur my writing is, so don’t—”
Heeseung wastes no fanfare. “This is awful.”
Your lips flatten. “Or just cut right to the chase.”
He’s quick to clarify. “But not for any of the reasons you just listed. I mean, sure, there are some craft issues here, but even those seem like a result of your concept.”
“What’s wrong with my concept?” The edge of defensiveness in your voice escapes without your permission. 
Heeseung just levels you with a look. Returning his gaze to your notebook, he reads from your draft verbatim, “...Stashing away the light from her life. Tucking it into his back pocket like extra change just for the satisfaction of temporary happiness. It was never love that bound him to her, but the promise of a never ending fountain of life. Of wishes and thoughts and hopes and dreams that he could use to sustain himself as long as he subjected himself to the numbing pleasure of existing at her side.” 
He raises an eyebrow, turns back to you. “I mean, really, ____? I’ve read some nauseatingly vitriolic vampire pieces in my life, and this just about has all of them beat. Besides, the whole vampire thing just feels so… irrelevant. Do people still read this stuff anymore?”
Your first instinct is to defend yourself, your work, even if his thoughts mirror your own. Before you can, Heeseung is pressing on. You don’t have the space to get a word in sideways. “I mean, what happened to the writing from that piece you presented back in September? I don’t remember all the details, but there was something about watching birds land on water and connecting it to the feeling of belonging but never truly fitting in.” He looks at you again. There’s more emotion, more glittering life in his eyes than you’ve ever seen from him before. “That was a fresh take and a well done metaphor.”
Your mind is reeling. It’s far too much information to take in all at once. But something stands out amongst the rest. Because that almost sounded like— 
“Was that a compliment?” It seems unlikely, but you can’t find another way to take his words. “You paid attention to my presentation?” 
You liked it? You don’t ask that question out loud, but the needier parts of you crave his answer anyway.
“Yeah, of course I did. Peer review was a mandatory component of the course.” Heeseung’s cheekbones remain the same, even, honey-tinted tone, but you swear you see a flash of embarrassment in the way he averts his gaze. 
“Well, yeah.” It’s not a justification that holds much weight in your mind. “But you don’t exactly seem like the type to really pay attention to other people’s stuff. Especially if you think it’s not worth your time.”
“I just told you your presentation was good, didn’t I?”
You arch a brow. “Yeah, right after you finished calling my draft horrific.”
Heeseung shakes his head. “I didn’t say it was horrific…”
“Oh, please. Spare us both the semantics. That’s what you meant.” You’re not sure why your mind always goes back to that day in the quad, but you find yourself still sore from his rejection, his new assertion of your work poking at old wounds. Picking at poorly healed scabs. “And it’s not like you were jumping for joy at the chance to review my work back then, either.”
Heeseung’s brow furrows. You can practically see the gears turning in his mind. You’re not sure if it makes you feel better or worse, the fact that he doesn’t seem to remember that day at all. 
In the end, you decide to spare him the effort of empty recollection. With a sigh, you spill your shame. At least this time around, you’re the only two that will bear witness. “That one day in class. Back at the beginning of the semester. We had to present our analysis of that one short story. You remember, the one about planting seeds in bad soil.” Heeseung nods, but there’s no spark of realization. Not yet. 
Continuing, it only pains you slightly to admit, “Your analysis was brilliant, and I gushed about it in front of the whole class. Laid it on thick with the compliments. And then after class, I stopped you in the quad.” Something flickers over Heeseung’s features. A memory tugging at the back of his mind. “When I asked if you wanted to review each other’s pieces for the next assignment, you completely brushed me off.”
Brow still pulled downwards, Heeseung is thinking back to that day, too. But it doesn't seem to hold the same awful, leaden weight in his mind. “I didn’t brush you off,” he argues. “I think I said I was busy.”
It takes a lot of willpower not to let your jaw drop open. “That’s brushing someone off!” Your voice is too loud for the near empty classroom, for your close proximity. “Like literally the textbook definition. Everyone knows that ‘I’m busy’ is code for ‘leave me the hell alone.’”
Almost imperceptibly, Heeseung’s features soften as he watches yours strain. The fluorescent light bulbs that fill the room suddenly don’t seem quite as harsh when he says, “Well, that's not what I meant. I was busy.”
It’s hardly a satisfying answer. But you suppose it makes little difference. If he wants to stick to his story, you’ll continue to feign indifference. “Whatever. It’s not like it matters now anyway.”
And then your mind is back on his poems. His beautiful, tragic, gorgeously phrased stanzas scribbled in his handwriting. Fragments of vulnerability that he handed to you without hesitation. 
It’s like comparing apples to oranges in a way, but there is no doubt in your mind that between the two of you, the writing he brought tonight is better. Better than your story, better than most things you’ve ever written, probably. The imagery is evocative, striking in a way you’ve never quite been able to achieve no matter how many seminars and workshops and lectures you attend. 
Not for the first time, your brain dangles a dangerous thought in a place where you can’t avoid it. What if Professor Kim chose wrong? What if Heeseung hadn’t been late to class that day? Would you be sitting here with a mediocre draft and a raging inferiority complex?
You’ll never know, not really, but you find yourself asking anyway, “Why were you late to class that day?”
As soon as the words leave your mouth, you wish you could take them back. It’s not like his answer will change anything. And it’s invasive. Far too personal to ask someone you barely know. That up until thirty minutes ago, you actively avoided. 
But maybe the universe is on your side for once. Maybe you got ridiculously lucky and he didn’t hear you, despite the fact that it’s dead silent in this classroom. Maybe—
“What?”
Or not.
Well, you’re committed now. “The last day of class. When the winner for the publishing opportunity was announced,” you clarify. “You were late. Honestly,” you add with a wry smile, “you’d probably be the one writing overdramatic vampire slander right now if you hadn’t been.”
It’s a self-deprecating joke. It might land poorly, but you’re hoping it will lighten the atmosphere. 
A dark shadow crosses Heeseung’s features. “Trust me, ___. You winning had nothing to do with me being late that day.”
If he thinks flattery will get him anywhere, he’s wrong. You can feel your frustrations bubbling in your throat, clawing at your mind. You won. You beat him. So why doesn’t it feel like it? Why doesn’t it feel like anything you do is ever good enough?
“C’mon, Heeseung.” He doesn’t deserve your anger. At least, not now. But he gets it anyway. Insecurities and inferiority and frustration all wrapped in rage. “You were practically a shoe-in, and everyone knows it.”
He’s just as insistent. Leaning towards you slightly, he looks anything but aloof now. “No I wasn’t. Professor Kim chose you to intern with him. He read both of our submissions all semester and chose you to publish with his firm. I told you, your writing is good. Really good.” Glancing down at your notebook, he adds, “Even if this one is a bit… uninspired.”
A compliment and a slight. His version of the truth, wrapped up in a bow and delivered right to your waiting ears. You don’t know whether to be furious or overjoyed. Maybe it would be best to feel absolutely nothing at all. It scares you, just how much weight his opinion holds. 
But approval from him has its way of feeling like a long sought victory, and now the air feels fraught with something delicate, fragile. Precarious, even. 
It’s early evening in a threadbare classroom. The most neutral territory imaginable. But it’s the two of you, alone, secluded. And suddenly, that frightens you. 
“Right.” You won’t tell him ‘thank you’ for the compliment or ‘go fuck yourself’ for the criticism. Both options feel like you would be revealing too much. 
Instead, you take a glance at the clock. It’s not late, but it’s an excuse. “I should probably get going.”
Heeseung exhales. Leans back in his seat. “Of course,” he concedes easily, reaching to hand you your notebook.
You do the same with his, almost sad to watch his poetry pass from your hands to his. It’s odd, the way his words already feel like something you’ll miss. 
You realize then that he hasn’t asked you for your opinion on his work. For your advice on how to make it better. In all honesty, you’re relieved. You haven’t the slightest idea what you would say. 
So instead, you busy yourself with repacking your tote bag. In your haste, you knock your pen off of your desk. The sound it makes as it strikes the thinning carpet can’t be loud, but it feels thunderous in your ears. 
As you reach to pick it up, Heeseung does the same. There’s a moment, fleeting but unmistakable, when the skin of his hand brushes against yours. 
Instantly, Heeseung recoils as if you’ve burned him. His hand is back in his own space at a speed so fast you nearly miss it. 
It was an accident, a tiny blip with no real consequences, but the way he’s looking at you with those damn eyes makes you feel like you should be apologizing. 
“Sorry.” The severity of his reaction stings like rejection. It’s not like he’s exactly your favorite person either, but at least you have the common decency to not look repulsed at the thought of touching him. At the accidental brushing of your hands. 
Heeseung frowns. Shakes his head slightly as if to clear his thoughts. “No, I…” he trails off, letting his words hang in the air for a moment. “I’m sorry,” he concludes, but it feels disingenuous. And he doesn’t bother to elaborate. Looking over your shoulder, he reads the clock on the wall. “It’s getting kind of late. Where are you parked? I can walk you to your car.”
His hands are busy putting his notebook back in his back. It’s a considerate offer, but coming on the tail end of everything else, it doesn’t hold much weight with you. His words don’t match his actions, and you decide you’d be a fool to take them at face value. 
“Don’t bother. I’m walking home, not driving.”
Heeseung freezes, hand still inside his bag. He’s not looking at you, but you feel the weight of his attention all the same. “Do you need someone to walk with you?”
The way he phrases the question makes you feel like a burden. He’s asking if you need someone to walk with you, not offering because he wants to. A subtle difference maybe, but the last thing you want is to feel like you owe him any favors. 
“No, I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?” He does look at you now, concern painted across his features. “It’s getting dark earlier these days, and—”
His words are wasted on you. You’re already halfway to the door. “I’m sure.” But before you leave, you decide one more hit to your pride can’t worsen the damage that’s already been done. At least this time, it will be by your doing. Standing under the doorframe, you turn back to him. “Thank you for your feedback. It was good to hear an honest opinion.”
Your words sink into the air. Linger for a moment. 
Heeseung nods. Something in his jaw tightens. “You know, if you do decide to change topics, I’d be happy to read whatever you write.”
It almost sounds like another compliment. Or maybe another insult. Either way, you’re sure that even if you figure it out, you’ll still have no idea what to do with it. You nod, only once, and then your back is turned again before you can linger too long on any of it. 
But his words, the sweet ones this time, replay in your mind the entire walk home. 
Maybe if you weren’t so distracted by the ghosts of compliments, you’d have noticed the pair of quiet, even footsteps that trailed after you in the distance. That only retreated once the front door to your apartment was pulled shut and locked tight behind you. 
Then again, maybe not. Heeseung has always had a knack for going undetected. 
…..
You wake up the next morning with Heeseung’s words replaying in your mind. 
Awful. Irrelevant. And of course your favorite, ‘nauseatingly vitriolic vampire piece.’
In the faded glow of morning light, you groan out loud to your empty bedroom. The worst part of it all is that he’s not even wrong. But it’s Saturday morning, and your first draft is due on Wednesday. The thought of starting a new story from scratch and writing it to completion within that time frame is enough to make you want to curl into a ball and screw your eyes shut until you can pretend the world outside your bedroom is nothing but a figment of your imagination. 
So no, you don’t think you can start over entirely. But maybe, just maybe, you can rework things. Tweak the narrative to feel less cliche, less outdated. More true to you. 
Part of you wants to abandon the vampire concept entirely, convinced it’s what’s holding you down. The other part is hesitant to do so based on New Haven’s list of recently published works. 
And while Heeseung’s criticism was the confirmation you needed that your story needs reworking, it’s not like he gave you any ideas as to what you should change. What direction you should take.
Nauseatingly vitriolic vampire piece. That seemed to be Heeseung’s biggest problem with your draft. Not that it alluded to vampirism. No, you think he disliked that it was a tired and rehashed propaganda piece on the inherent evilness of vampires. 
Everyone knows that vampires were monsters. Writing about it, no matter how many metaphors and symbolic phrases you wrap it up in, just isn’t interesting. 
That’s the route you’ll take, then, you decide. You don’t have to invent a new concept out of thin air. You just need to find a way to bring something new to the table. Something worth reading. Climbing out of bed, you switch your pajamas for clothes more acceptable in public. 
And then you make your way to the university library. 
Just as you suspected, it’s essentially empty. Between long rows of meticulously shelved books, vacant study rooms, and community computers, the only other person you see is the librarian that greets you as you arrive. Even her eyebrows raise in mild shock to see someone else during the break, and on a weekend at that.
Heading to the second floor, the first section you peruse through is historical records. But between old newspapers, reports, and journals, the content itself is quite cut and dry. Detached descriptions of vampire attacks that only contain details of the date, time, and death toll aren’t exactly riveting. And you don’t think they’ll do much for your feeble draft. 
Before long, you move away from the nonfiction section. Navigating to supernatural fiction on the third floor, you start browsing titles. Vampire stories make up a rather small portion of the texts, and from what you can tell, the vast majority align with what you found on New Haven’s website. 
From Demons of the Dark to Left in Cold Blood, you doubt that most of what you find will offer any kind of new perspective. But on your third, slightly desperate scouring of the shelf, you make a discovery. 
It’s a small, nondescript book. The muted tones and faded lettering on the spine go easily undetected amongst the much flashier copies of anti-vampire propaganda it’s nestled between. 
Pulling the book out from the shelf with a delicate touch, you flip the cover face-up in your hand. 
Sacred Monsters: A Collection of Essays on the Origins of Immortality
It piques your interest. At the very least, it seems different from all the other novels. 
Book in hand, you make your way to a nearby desk. Once you’re settled in, you pull out your notebook, opening to a new page with the intention of taking notes. 
The book you lay on the desk next to your notebook seems like it’s lived a long life, the old scent of dust and aged paper and time all contained within its pages. Flipping open the front cover, you look for an author or publication date. But there’s nothing there, not even a title page or a table of contents. 
Glossing over the slight oddity, you decide the beginning is as good a place as any to start. 
The Taste of Blood, is the title at the top of the page. 
And the first sentence begins:
It is neither sweet nor particularly savory. There is no distinct aroma, no compelling flavor profile, nothing that appeals to the eye or excites the taste buds. The only merit is the fact that it is necessary. For even those blessed with immortality know what it means to survive. And even those cursed to live forever know what it means to die. 
Frowning, you flip back to the cover, as if that will provide any clarity for the strange passage you just read. But nothing is different. Nothing new stands out. Just the same, faded title. No author or indication of any kind of publication date. 
Intrigued, you turn back and resume where you left off. 
Some are said to enjoy the act. The purity of release, of giving in to the instincts that can be convinced into domesticity but never fully silenced. I have never found such relief. The ghost of my humanity has always been stronger than the voice of the monster, even as he screams with unbounded ferocity. 
Without it, I feel incomplete. With it, I feel irredeemable. Even now, I dodge the truth, omit the profane. I have seen many moons, enjoyed their silver glow. I have stolen the very same pleasure from countless others. And yet, I struggle to call it by name. I cannot reconcile the battles waged in my bones, the war fought in my mind. 
There is no winner in either. All that remains in the taste of it. Lingering on my breath. Haunting my waking dreams. That which I cannot name. 
The taste of blood. 
In my fervor, it soothes like honey. In my regret, it turns to ash. 
And still, nothing changes. And still, nothing remains the same.
-- Anonymous
Well, if you were looking for something different, you found it. Because what the absolute fuck are you reading? If you didn’t know any better, you’d think it were written from the perspective of a vampire. 
Then again, shelved in the fiction section, you suppose it’s plausible. Actual vampires may have housed little room in their consciousness for anything outside of bloodlust, but it is an interesting idea to think of vampires as conflicted. Haunted by the brutality of their innate instincts. 
You’re not exactly sure how or if this will be able to influence your own story for the better, but something about it makes you want to keep reading. 
Alone, tucked amongst the dusty shelves of a neglected section of the library, you lose yourself between the pages of the mysterious book. 
As the title indicated, it’s a collection of essays. Most are quite short, around the same length as the first one you read. And none are claimed by an author. All are signed off with the same boldface type that spells Anonymous. There are subtle differences in the writing though, stylistic choices that make you think that more than one person wrote these essays. 
Despite that, they’re all woven together by a common thread. The first essay, as you discover, was not a fluke. Every single one is written in first person from the perspective of a vampire. 
The writing is compelling, humorous in places and deeply upsetting in others. It seems odd to you, just how much humanity is captured within the pages, within each turn of phrase. 
You feel inclined to root for the narrator in some stories and abjectly horrified by them in others. But never once does the writing make you think that vampires are incapable of self-actualization, of reflection, of morality. 
In all honesty, aside from Heeseung’s poems, it’s the most interesting thing you’ve read in ages. So much so that by the time you realize you’ve finished the last essay, the winter sun is teeming dangerously close to the horizon, and the library is nearing its closing hours. 
The notebook page you intended to use for notes, to jot down points of inspiration, is still woefully blank. But as you make your way back to the front of the library, the small, strange book comes along with you. 
Stopping at the front desk to formally check it out, the librarian frowns when she enters the number from the spine into the system. She clicks around on her computer for a moment longer before handing the book back to you. 
“I’m sorry, but the book isn’t coming up in our system for some reason. Would you mind writing down your student ID number for me? I’ll have to enter the information manually.”
You oblige her request, tucking the book into your bag before you leave. 
It’s chilly outside, the cold clutches of winter gaining a full grasp on the crisp, frigid air. After a long day in a stuffy library, the freezing air is almost soothing. Tucking your hands into your pockets, you turn towards the direction that will take you home. 
You’ve barely taken five steps when a voice calls your name from behind. Pausing, you turn to find the source of the sound. 
“Heeseung?” But there’s no mistaking it. That is most definitely Lee Heeseung, currently jogging towards you on the otherwise empty sidewalk in front of the university library. 
He catches up to you easily, no sign of perspiration or even a hint of breathlessness when he asks, “What are you doing walking alone at night?” As if you’re the strange one in this situation.
You give him a once over. The loose jeans and dark winter coat he wears are nothing special, but he wears them well regardless. You suppress the urge to sigh. “I could ask you the same.”
“Fair enough.” His tone is too light, too casual. Like he’s forcing it. Like he’s hiding something. “Are you headed home? I’ll walk you there.”
And if you weren’t suspicious before, you sure as hell are now. Why on earth would he want to walk you home? “I’m fine, thanks.” You turn away from him, heading in the direction of your apartment and hoping he’ll take the hint. 
Your wish goes ungranted. He matches your pace easily, even as you try to quicken it. “It’s after dark, ___. And there are a lot of…” He trails off, searching for the right word. “strange people out at night these days. I’m not letting you walk home alone.”
Lips tight, you don’t bother looking at him. The idea of Heeseung letting you do anything makes you want to throw things. “I’ll be fine.”
But he’s persistent. He’s all smiles and a strange amount of desperate when he says, “Either you let me walk you back or I’ll just follow you at a weird distance, which will be far more uncomfortable for both of us.”
That makes you stop in your tracks. And now you do turn to look at him. “Well, when you put it that way…”
Heeseung nods, “Exactly. So—”
You arch an unimpressed brow, crossing your arms over your chest. “It sounds like you’re the strange person at night I need to stay away from.”
Heeseung sighs, matches your eye. A strand of hair falls into his eyes, and he pushes it away with long fingers. “Are you gonna start walking or are we gonna stand here and argue a little longer?”
“You don’t even know where I live.”
“What a great night to find out.”
You stare at him a moment longer, lips tight. You don’t want to be the one to give in, to hand him any kind of victory, no matter how small. 
But it is getting late. The walk from campus to your apartment is never one that’s made you uneasy, but it never hurts to have someone at your side. Besides, you think he was serious about following you. He’s made it clear that he’ll be tagging along one way or another. 
“Fine,” you huff, arms still crossed over your chest. “But only because the streetlight a few blocks away is out.”
Heeseung inclines his head, a minute acknowledgement. There’s a hint of movement at the corner of his lips. “Naturally.”
You resume walking, and he falls into your pace with a practiced ease, hands in his pocket, eyes on the stars. It’s a cloudless evening. The sky above you feels vast, immense as the last rays of daylight lie to rest on the distant horizon. 
With a slight shiver, you pull your jacket tighter around your body. Heeseung notices the movement. Parts his lips as if he wants to say something. Changes his mind. Closes them. 
You’ve just reached the far edge of campus when he breaks the steady silence. 
“How’s your draft coming?”
“It’s…” You trail off, not sure how well honesty will serve you here. It feels vulnerable, like a blatant weakness to admit that you’ve got nothing. But something about cold air and the vast expanse of night has you wanting to tell the truth. “Not great.”
Heeseung lets your response settle. Turns it over in his mind a few times. You’ve noticed that about him. He’s careful with his responses. Weighs his words before breathing them to life. “Still looking for inspiration?”
“I don’t know if it’s inspiration I need.” It’s easier to talk to him like this, when your eyes have something to focus on, when your body has the constant repetition of steps to occupy part of your mind. Without little distractions like these, Heeseung has a way of becoming all consuming. “I feel like I backed myself into a corner with the vampire concept. I’m not sure if there's really anything there to explore that won’t feel outdated and irrelevant.” 
“Mm,” Heeseung muses. It’s noncommittal, neither an agreement nor an argument. “Maybe. You said it yourself; vampires are nothing but bloodlust. Riled completely by instinct. Nothing left of their humanity.”
Frowning, your footsteps almost falter. “I didn’t say that.”
“Forgive me.” If there’s a tinge of bitterness in his tone, you suppose it must be because of the cold. The fact that he’s wasting his Saturday night walking you home. “Heavily implied it.”
“Honestly, the only reason I even wrote that story was because there were a lot of similar ones on New Haven’s list of recently published works.” Your reasoning feels almost stupid when you admit it aloud like this. You’ve always prided yourself on your originality, your commitment to staying true to yourself as a writer. But when push comes to shove, you let your desire to impress your professor get in the way of that. “I wanted something that would align with their usual publications.” 
You’ve admitted a weakness, a poorly made choice. You’re expecting ire, more of that haughty contempt. But Heeseung’s mind is going in an entirely different direction.
He’s not questioning your abilities, not even alluding to them at all when he asks, “What do you think of vampires, then?”
His question catches you off guard. Why on earth would he care about that? “What’s it to you?”
“My bad. We can just walk in awkward silence if you prefer.”
It takes a ridiculous amount of your energy to swallow the laugh that bubbles in your throat. Since when did Heeseung crack jokes? Since when did you have to fight the urge to giggle at them like a schoolgirl with a crush? You suddenly find yourself grateful for the cover of night, the way shadows make the heat on your cheeks undetectable. 
But his question still lingers. Ruminating on it, your mind flickers to the small, odd book currently sitting at the bottom of your bag. 
Sacred Monsters. 
It feels like a strange combination of words, two concepts that shouldn’t fit together. 
“I think it’s more complicated than that,” you breathe. You don’t know if it could possibly be true, the idea that creatures of the night have a high level of consciousness, the ability to moralize, to feel conflicted. But it certainly makes for a more interesting story. 
“I mean, vampires had to have some level of base cognition, right?” You’ll never know for sure, but the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. “They were hunted to near extinction, but they put up a good fight. They hid. They fled. They tried blending in as humans. Some resorted to drinking animal blood. I guess there’s no way of knowing, but that doesn’t feel like pure biology or an evolutionary response alone. It feels like… something a human would do.”
“Wouldn’t that be worse?” Heeseung’s voice is low. If the faint hum of faraway traffic were any louder, you might not hear him at all. “For them to know what it means to be alive and still make the choice to take that away from someone else? To exist as a parasite.”
“It would certainly be tragic.” The words of the first essay come back to you. 
For even those blessed with immortality know what it means to survive. And even those cursed to live forever know what it means to die.
“It’s a fatal flaw, a cruel design. They need blood to survive. The very thing that their bodies used to create on their own. It’s parasitic, yes, but that doesn’t make it animal instinct. I can’t imagine the horror of having to experience that with the burden of human consciousness.” 
You feel the weight of Heeseung’s gaze on the side of your face. “It’s still evil, is it not?”
His words feel heavy, weighted under moonlight. Though you can’t imagine why, you have the distinct sense that your answer is important to him. 
“Like I said, I think it’s more complicated than that. Taking someone’s life is evil, yes, but that was never unique to vampires. Is a vampire that chooses animal blood still evil just because they’re a vampire? Is a human that chooses to kill another absolved of their crime just by virtue of being human?”
Your words settle into the space between you. 
“That,” Heeseung finally breathes, “would make a much better story than the one I read last night.”
This time, you do laugh, a light airy thing. It feels easy, lighthearted as some of the tension drains from the atmosphere.
“Unfortunately, I’m not so sure Professor Kim would agree. Based on everything New Haven publishes, he seems to have some weird anti-vampire vendetta.”
As you round the corner, your apartment comes into view. Nodding toward the staircase that leads to your front door, you tell him, “This is me, by the way.”
Heeseung glances at the stairs, then back at you. He shoves his hands into his coat pockets. “When is your draft due?”
“Ugh, don’t remind me,” you groan. “Wednesday.”
“Mm,” he winces, an offer of understanding. “What time?”
“I’m supposed to be at New Haven by three, so—”
“What?” Heeseung cuts you off, expression suddenly tense, voice suddenly sharp. “You’re going to the publishing office?”
“Yeah.” You nod slowly, unsure why that would possibly warrant such a strong reaction. “I’m dropping off my first draft and getting a tour. The internship starts right when spring semester does, so he told me I could come in person to familiarize myself with the space first.”
“Right.” Heeseung nods. The tension in his jaw doesn’t relax.
It’s all so strange. He always seems to be speaking in riddles, dealing with invisible problems you can’t detect. 
You’re tired and confused, and the moon that hangs above you doesn’t feel like a remedy for either of those things. In fact, it might be making things worse. 
Because despite the way you feel like you’ll never quite understand him, bathed in the shimmering glow of moonlight, Heeseung looks… 
He looks like all the things you’ve been trying to avoid calling him for the duration of the semester. Ethereal. Beautiful. Maybe even kind, at least when he wants to be. 
After all, you’re standing at the base of your staircase with company, and it wasn’t due to any insistence on your end. 
The silence lingers. A string somewhere is pulled taught. 
You’re standing still, and you’re still a little breathless when you tell him, “I should go.” You don’t want to. You’re not sure why. 
Again, Heeseung only nods. 
The movement sends shadows dancing over his features. The bridge of his nose. The plane of his cheek. The line of his jaw. Things you’ve never let yourself linger on. Things you’re having a hard time looking away from now. 
 But he’s seen you home safe and sound, and even nights under the stars have their inevitable end. 
It occurs to you then that you have no idea how he plans to get home, or even how far away he lives. 
After he walked you home,it’s the least you could do to offer, “Do you live far? I could help you pay for a cab or something if—”
Heeseung shakes his head. He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “It won’t take me long. Besides, I like to walk at night.”
“Okay.” It feels strange, trading these bits of kindness. You’re craving some normalcy, something unwavering. So with a final wave and a small goodnight, you climb the stairs to your door. 
You couldn’t say for sure if his eyes follow you on the way up. You feel the heat of them, the weight of a steady gaze on your spine. But it’s a fickle sensation and you’ve been wrong before. And you can’t quite bring yourself to turn around and look. 
The door closes behind you. Surrounded by the stillness of an empty apartment, you release a long held exhale. It drains out of you audibly. You hadn’t even realized you were holding your breath. 
…..
Dawn breaks Wednesday morning and carries with it a certain kind of dread. 
Despite your efforts, and there have been many, your draft remains far too close to its original state for your satisfaction. No matter how many times you pour over Sacred Monsters, you can never quite seem to find a way to make your submission more interesting while also staying true to New Haven’s general themes. 
If anything, the book has been a distraction. Long hours that you could have spent editing or revising or rewriting were instead dedicated to detailed web searches with a variety of keywords and spellings that never seemed to bear any fruit. 
It doesn’t matter which search engine you use. It doesn’t matter which database you browse. Other than the copy sitting on your desk, Sacred Monsters doesn’t seem to exist. 
But the annoying, wonderful, awful thing about time is that it passes. Time doesn’t care that you haven’t found it in yourself to produce a draft you’re proud of. Time doesn’t relent just because you always feel like it’s slipping through your fingers. 
And Wednesday morning turns to Wednesday afternoon with the same steady predictability as always. 
You’d like to think that you know the area around your university quite well, but New Haven’s main office is in an entirely different part of the city. You’ll have to leave now if you want to catch the bus with a little cushion of time to spare. The last thing you want to do is be late to your first day. Especially since the draft tucked neatly into your bag isn’t one you can hand over with confidence. 
To your relief, the bus is relatively empty. You tuck yourself into a seat and thank your lucky stars that you missed the afternoon rush. 
Popping your headphones in, you’re searching for something to fill the time. There’s the draft sitting in your bag, of course, but the last thing you want to do is spend the next thirty minutes agonizing over it. For now, it will just have to be the mess of mediocrity that it is. 
Instead, you reach for your phone. Maybe some mindless scrolling will be what you need to put your nerves at ease. 
But when the app loads, the first post you see doesn’t have you giggling or rolling your eyes or scrolling on without a thought at all. Instead, your spine straightens, shoulders suddenly tense. 
Because the words you’re reading are not something you ever expected to see in your lifetime. 
Three dead in suspected vampire attack, the latest headline from your local news reporting channel reads. 
Clicking on the article, the details are hazy, but that does little to lessen the grip of fear that makes a sudden grab at your throat. Fragments of sentences capture your attention as you scan the page. 
Three bodies found near the river…
Bite marks on their necks…
No trace of recent animal activity in the area…
Eyes widening with every new piece of information, fear claws at your throat. 
Bodies completely drained of blood.
Two hundred years. Two hundred years of the belief that vampires have all but been eradicated. Shattered in one fell swoop. 
And in your city, of all places. At the river. Somewhere you’ve been. Somewhere you wouldn’t think twice about going. It’s not particularly close to your apartment or university, but it’s not exactly far enough away for comfort.
You shudder, suddenly grateful that Heeseung was there to walk you home last night. Not that he would be able to do much if you did stumble across the path of a vampire, but—”
Oh god. Oh god. 
Heeseung. 
You have no idea if he made it home safe after parting ways with you and you have no way of checking. He hadn’t made any indication as to where he lived before saying goodnight. For all you know, he could have been heading in the direction of the river. He could have been at the river. Right when the attacks occurred. 
Doubling down on your phone, you scour the article for any information you can find on the victims. Objectively, it’s probably a good thing that they’re described only vaguely. Probably an intentional choice to protect the privacy of grieving friends and families. 
But ‘three victims, two men and one woman, all in their early twenties’ does very, very little to assuage your terror. In fact, it only heightens it. 
Blood pounding in your ears and dread pooling in your stomach, thirty minutes passes in the blink of an eye, you nearly miss your stop. But as you get off of the bus, you’re spiraling. Should you even be here? It feels wrong, leaving such a terrifying loose end untied. 
But then you think it through a little further. Even if you got back on the bus, rode it all the way to the stop by your apartment, you have no idea where you’d go from there. You may have shared insults and confidence and a moment under the moonlight with Heeseung, but you don’t know anything about him. Where he lives, where to reach him, where he could possibly be right now. 
But Professor Kim might. You’re sure that student information is strictly confidential, but if you explain the situation to him, he might be understanding, might just be willing to bend the rules a bit for you. 
So with a heaviness in your heart and fire in your footsteps, you double check the address of New Haven’s office and start walking away from the bus stop. Your surroundings are not a primary area of your focus, but it does strike you as odd how deserted the whole area seems. 
Other than a few residential looking buildings, the street you walk is mostly empty lots. Abandoned houses. Not the kind of place you would consider ideal for any business. 
Despite the cold morning sunshine, the afternoon has brought a cover of clouds. Squinting towards the distance, you wonder if you should have brought your umbrella, just in case. It almost looks as if it’s going to rain. 
When you do finally find the building, you have to stop to double check the address. Not only is there no signage, but New Haven’s supposed headquarters looks just as run down as all of the other buildings in the area. 
Frowning, you reread your email. The address does match the faded numbers next to the front door, and Professor Kim seems too meticulous to make a mistake like an incorrect address. Then again, he also seems too well off to run his publishing company out of a decrepit building far away from any of the city’s major business centers. 
But you won’t bother worrying about it now. Even your dreary first draft feels like an afterthought at this point. Who cares if the building’s not what you expected, if the location isn’t ideal? Right now, you need to focus on finding Heeseung, on making sure he’s okay. 
Because the alternative…
No, you refuse to let yourself spiral there either. But the pressure of grief borrowed from the future is already pressing firmly against the backs of your eyelids, blurring your surroundings. 
As you approach the front door, you notice a small, faded placard. 
New Haven. Well, at least that confirms that you’re in the right spot. Even if it is a bit odd that they left off Publishing. 
Standing at the door, you hesitate. Should you knock? Just walk in? You take a sidelong glance at the window, scanning for any sign of movement. But there’s nothing there. In fact, it looks as if the lights are off. 
Dark, quiet, desolate. Strange, yes, but not something you’ll waste time ruminating on now. 
You knock once. Twice. The sound echoes; the only response is the whistling of the wind.
Deep in the pit of your stomach, a sense of unease begins to build. It feels off, like something is wrong. Senses on high alert, you force the feeling aside. You need a way to find Heeseung, to make sure he’s okay. Besides, the lingering unease is probably just the anxiety of not knowing if he’s safe. 
Steeling your resolve, you reach for the door handle, twisting it tentatively. It opens slowly, the hinges groaning in protest. As if the building itself doesn’t want you there. Stepping inside does little to shake the feeling. Dark and devoid of any decoration, the interior is nearly as gloomy as the sunless sky outside. 
And even the layout of the building is strange. The front door opens to a long, dark hallway with no lights on. It’s eerily quiet. Too quiet. Too empty. You weren’t expecting a welcoming party by any means, but it’s hard to imagine anyone, much less Professor Kim, even being here. 
“Hello?” You call, clutching your bag a little closer to your body, suppressing the shudder that licks at the base of your spine. “Professor Kim?” You wait a moment, but sustained silence is the only response. 
Forcing your footsteps forward, you tread tentatively down the hallway. After all, you didn’t come this far just to turn around. Especially now that Professor Kim might be your only way of finding Heeseung. 
Taking slow steps down the dark hallway, you pass two doors, both of them pulled shut. The end of the hall opens into a larger room, still empty of any furnishings. It certainly doesn’t look like a publishing house. It doesn't look like much at all. At the very least, there’s a bit more visibility here, faint traces of faded daylight streaming in through the half drawn blinds on the other side of the room. 
Turning to your left, you see another door. This one is also pulled shut, but there’s a name placard on the front. Drawing closer, you read your professor’s name. It still doesn't feel right. Ducking down slightly, you check the gap between the bottom of the door and the hardwood floor for any sign of light, of movement. But it’s just as dark, just as quiet as the rest of the strange building. 
As you stand back up to your full height, you raise a hand to knock. Just before your knuckles make contact with the door, you see it. An odd array of crimson stains near the handle. Peering closer, your brow furrows in a combination of disgust and confusion. 
If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost think it looked like blood. 
But that doesn’t make any sense. None of this does. You won’t pretend to know Professor Kim, but he’s never shown up to a lecture with so much as a hair out of place. Why on earth would he run his publishing company out of a building that’s nearly falling apart? Why would there be strange, suspicious looking stains on the door to his office? Why would it be empty at the time he asked you to come present your draft and tour your future internship location?
You have no idea what to do. Opening the door to his office and letting yourself in would feel like an inappropriate invasion of privacy, but you’re at a loss. This entire thing is so strange. 
Before you can decide how to proceed, you hear something. A faint noise, barely there, but distinct from the wind that still whistles outside. It’s disjointed, arrhythmic like the sound of hushed voices. Overlapping. Arguing, maybe. 
Inclining your head, your brow creases further. It sounds like it’s coming from your professor’s office, but how could it be? The noises are too muffled, too distant to be coming from right in front of you. 
You lean closer. Deciding you’re past the point of maintaining decorum, you press your ear to the door, careful to avoid any of the suspicious looking stains. 
For a moment, you hear nothing. Half convinced the voices were nothing but a figment of your overactive imagination, you almost pull away. 
But then you hear them again. Still muffled, still indecipherable, but undoubtedly louder than before. Which means they must be coming from behind the door. The voices pause, suspend you in silence once again. 
And then you hear another noise, different this time. Less like a voice and more like movement. Scuffling, maybe. Feet dragging against the floor. It’s punctuated by a strange gurgling noise. Something wet and thick and throaty. The kind of sound that makes you wince in a subconscious reaction. 
And then a sudden thump has your bones jolting beneath your skin, everything muscle in your body tensing as you suppress an uninvited gasp. Because that didn’t sound far away. It was loud, too loud to be anywhere but right on the other side of the door. 
Mild unease is quick to transform into sheer panic as you stagger backwards on shaky footsteps. You need to leave. You need to leave now. 
You’ll find another way to get ahold of Heeseung, to make sure he’s okay. And maybe there’s a rational explanation for all of this. Maybe this is an old New Haven office and Professor Kim forgot to send you the new address. Maybe there’s an email in your inbox now, and he’s apologizing for the oversight and rescheduling your draft meeting. Maybe he’s—
The sound of the front door you walked in through minutes ago slamming shut kills the train of thought. This time, you can’t bite down the noise that crawls up your throat. 
It’s stupid, from a logical perspective. A fatal flaw of human nature that your first instinct is to scream. To alert whatever danger surely lurks nearby of your exact location, the precise depth of your fear. 
But the terror that leaves your lips is muffled. It comes from behind, the palm that covers your mouth. The outline of a body that presses into your back, forces you into submission with a hand around your wrist.  
You thrash against the ironclad grip to no avail. Dig your heels into the ground but find little purchase in the hardwood floor as you’re dragged backwards, every nerve in your body singing with terror as you’re forced into a dark room. Even with your elbows flailing and head jerking, the grip on you remains steady, firm. 
In the end, it’s a bite that frees you. The hand that covers your mouth drops away as soon as you sink your teeth into the flesh of your captor’s fingers. There’s a muffled grunt of pain in your ear as you spin on your heel. 
Again, it’s stupid. You should be running, sprinting in the opposite direction, but everything in you is begging to know. To gain some sense of control over the situation. Eyes still adjusting to the dark and blinded by fear, you turn to find—
“Heeseung?” Your mind is spinning a million miles a minute. There are too many thoughts, too many emotions to keep up with. Relief. Fear. Confusion.
Relief, because he’s okay and he’s here, but—
“What are you doing?” You have a million questions that demand answers. “Why are you here? Why did you grab me like th—”
“Are you okay?” Heeseung takes a step closer to you, reaches his hands out as if to grab you again. Thinking better of it, he lets them fall back to his side with a slight shake of his head. There’s terror in his eyes too when he clarifies, “You’re not hurt?”
“No, I…” What the hell is going on? “I’m fine, but—”
A flash of relief makes itself apparent on Heeseung’s features before they’re morphing again, regaining all the urgency, the fear that was there before. He’s serious, gravely so when he tells you, “We have to get out of here.”
“Okay,” you stumble forward as he reaches for your wrist again, intent on tugging you behind him. “But I don’t understand. What’s—”
“I’ll explain everything later.” He’s frantic, you realize. Desperate. And so terribly afraid. Emotions you’ve never seen him wear. Not in the cool, calm mask of indifference he had in class. Not in the faint flickers of vulnerability from stolen moments under moonlight. This is different. This is so much worse. “But we have to go. Now.”
With that much command in his voice, that much fear in his eyes, you’re putty in his hands. But in the end, it makes little difference. The door to the room he’s dragged you into opens with a resounding bang before the two of you can make your escape. The sound is so loud, so frightening that you feel reverberations in your marrow as the door collides with the room’s interior wall, no doubt leaving a sizable dent.
And standing there, shrouded by the gray tones of sunless winter daylight, your professor blocks the room’s only exit. 
Instinctively, you take a step closer to Heeseung. He does the same, pulling you towards him, behind him, until half of your body is covered by his. Peering over his shoulder, the sight that greets you is one that will haunt waking nightmares for a long time to come. 
Professor Kim, who always prided himself on maintaining a neat, clean appearance couldn’t be further from that now. His clothes are ripped, hanging from his body at odd angles, adding an element of disfigured monstrosity to his silhouette. 
And his eyes. His eyes. Bloodshot and so wide they must hurt, they dart around the room, narrow in on you and Heeseung like he doesn’t see humans. Only targets. Enemies. Prey. Mouth open and snarling, you swear you see a glint in his mouth, the shape of a tooth far too long and pointed to belong to any normal person. 
But even those things you could force yourself to forget. 
What horrifies you the most is the blood. Even in the shadows, the unnaturally potent shade of crimson is unmistakable. It stains him, covers him, drips from him. Seeps from his clothes and his skin and his mouth. 
Panic clawing at your throat, you suppress the urge to vomit. 
“Get behind me,” Heeseung whispers, low. “Now.”
But a split second of averted attention is all your professor needs. Professor Kim, lover of literature, beacon of taste, a role model you’ve looked up to since the first time you stepped foot in his class a handful of months ago, pinches a tiny object between his long, bony, blood-covered fingers. And then he throws it. 
With startling precision, it whistles through the air, races through a hazy cloud of confusion and panic before it strikes its target true. 
It doesn’t hurt, not really. The hand that flies to the side of your neck is instinct, more than anything. But the fingers that linger on your pulse point don’t find the smooth expanse of your unblemished throat that they usually would. 
Because there’s something there now. An object lodged just beneath your jaw. Delicately, you draw your hand back in front of your face. There’s no blood on your fingers, but that doesn’t stop them from shaking. 
As you look over Heeseung’s shoulder, the world starts to blur around the edges. Darken, as if your eyes are closing of their own volition, against your will. You see him retreat, the terrible ghost of your professor. In the dark, he looks almost forlorn. Regretful. 
“Fuck,” Heeseung whispers. He doesn’t see the way your professor spins on his heel, runs in the opposite direction. His attention is trained fully on the space beneath your jaw. “Fuck.”
“Heeseung?” Your voice sounds strange to your own ears. Distant, muffled as if you’re submerged beneath water. You have so many questions. 
But it’s suddenly so cold. And you’re so tired. Wouldn’t it be nice to just lay down? Rest for a moment? Surely that couldn’t hurt anything. 
Your legs are wobbly beneath you, and you would collapse to the floor in an ungraceful heap if it weren’t for the two hands on your waist, supporting your weight. 
“I’m here,” he tells you. Cold. When did it get so cold? Your eyes try to focus on Heeseung, but your vision is swimming. You wonder if he would be warm. “I’m right here. Just… fuck.”
Gently, he eases you both to the ground. The floor is hard beneath you, but it feels like a reprieve. You’re tired of holding the weight of your body upright. Your blinking is becoming slow, lethargic. Your head is suddenly far too heavy for your neck. 
Slowly, Heeseung removes his hands from your waist, relocates them to either side of your jaw. With the care of someone well versed in patience, he delicately maneuvers your head to the side, exposing the length of your neck. 
Whatever he finds there must be displeasing. You can’t imagine why. You can’t think much of anything. The world has taken on a sort of dreamlike quality in which everything feels loose, fluid and unburdened by the laws of any physics. 
“Fuck,” he whispers for the fourth time. The curse scatters over your cheekbone like a kiss. 
Pulling back slightly, he meets your half-closed eyes. “I’m sorry.” It sounds like a prayer. “This might…” he swallows, something in his resolve wavering. “This might hurt.”
Pain. You can barely conceptualize the sensation. It feels like a distant memory. 
And then he’s tilting your head to the side again. His face draws closer, overcomes the last of your remaining senses, demands the full attention of what’s left of your consciousness. 
You think he might kiss you. Whatever desire remains in you almost wishes he would. 
Your eyes flutter shut, lips parting slightly as your eyelashes fan against the tops of your cheeks. 
But his mouth never finds yours. Instead, you feel the soft caress of his lips against the side of your neck, a fleeting touch against the sensitive skin just beneath your jaw. Inhibitions whittled to nothing, you shudder against the sensation, release the airy ghost of a sigh.
He was wrong, you think. With his mouth on your neck, pain is the last thing you feel. 
You feel his lips part against your skin, chasing away some of the cold that has only seeped deeper into bones, into the very essence of your being. 
And then you feel it. Whatever capacity for sensation that remains all focuses on the sudden flash of agony as his teeth pierce the skin of your throat. 
The tiny moan that escapes your lips is pitiful. Your ability to think, to rationalize, feels like something that’s dangling in front of you, just out of reach. Your body is too heavy, too weak to respond to the flash of searing pain as your skin is pierced deeper. 
He can’t speak, but you feel the shallow vibration of a hum against your neck. Soothing, calming. His hand that doesn’t bear the weight of your head moves to push a stray strand of hair from your forehead. It’s gentle, reverent. In complete opposition to the war he wages against your neck. 
Mouth still full of you, a groan escapes him. It’s heady, throaty, and you feel it travel the length of your spine, settle in the pit of your stomach. Sensation is the only thing tethering you to this world, and you can’t quite tell if this is pleasure or pain. 
He pulls back, the absence of his steady heat leaving your jaw vulnerable to the chill in the air. 
“Hold on,” you hear. You can’t pinpoint where the noise comes from. Sound surrounds you, washes over you in a strange uniformity. You feel the ground fall away, something warm and solid behind your shoulders and under your knees.“We’ll be there soon.”
Floating, you think. You must be floating. It’s hard to tell. Moments are bleeding into one another too quickly for you to keep up. 
Eyes closed, body molten, you relax into the steady grip that carries you. 
And the last thing you hear before reality loses its hold is the fervent, whispered sound of your name. 
⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖
CONTINUED IN PART 2 (which can be found on my masterlist!)
⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖
note: THANK YOUUUUU for reading!!! this is pretty different from what I usually write plot wise, so I hope it made for a good read. vampire heeseung and this oc are near and dear to me, and I'm excited to continue their story. the rest of this fic is fully plotted and partially written. I'm actively continuing to work on it, and hearing your thoughts/theories/screaming/feedback/etc. is great motivation! as always, I love know what you're thinking. ♡
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leclercsainzz · 9 months
Text
ILLICIT AFFAIRS PART 4
PAIRINGS: lando norris x ex!gf / tom blyth x reader
TYPE: social media au
WARNING: // cheating implied
part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5
yourusername
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liked by danielricciardo, hunterschafer, and 678,889 others
yourusername: more photo dumps of my favorite ppl (ft. me)
tagged: @tomblyth @hunterschafer @joshandresrivera
view 6,021 comments
user: MY FAVORITE CAST!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
user: bye, bc how did lucy gray leave a man like him???
↳ user: the way i would’ve believed EVERY word that came out his mouth and stayed with him, frrrr
↳ user: she’s a better woman than me 😭😭
user: the green jackets, hello?????
user: @landonorris
hunterschafer: love you, girlfriend 😘
user: hottest cast ever, idc
user: did tom and yn share the same jacket on set???
↳ user: literally my parents
joshandresrivera: ❤️❤️
user: soo are you and lando still together or???
user: yntom shipper >>>>
user: she looks so adorable in that second slide
tomblyth: ❤️❤️❤️❤️
tomblyth: you’re my favorite person ever
↳ user: my heart 😭😭😭😭😭
↳ user: this is too cute, wtf????
↳ user: if they don’t date, i’m gonna be so upset
user: sOMEONE GEt ME A TOM BLYTH, RIGh nOw!!!!!!!
user: babe, are you and dad (lando) still together???
↳ user: girllll, i’m pretty sure they’re done
user: tom’s the reason why my standard in man are high
songbirdandsnakes: our favs! ❤️
user: please, date!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
user: all i can think about is lando 🥺
user: you know damn well lando didn’t cheat on you
↳ user: how you gonna say that when there’s proof??
user: my favorites <3
user: where’s lando??
user: my comfort cast, i swear ❤️
user: yntom nation please rise
user: i wanna cry so bad bc i feel bad for lando 😭😭😭
↳ user: feel bad??? wdym?? he cheated???
↳ user: the only reason he might’ve cheated was because yn literally cheated on him first??????? hello???
user: if only coryo had been honest with her 😩
user: idc what anyone says, tom and yn are soulmates
user: this cast >>
user: her smile 🥺 she’s too cute
user: my babies
user: i can (not) accept the fact that lucy gray and coriolanus didn’t end together but i will NOT accept if yn and tom don’t end up together irl
user: who needs eminem when you’ve got paneminem
↳ yourusername: STEALING THIS, OMG!
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luisinhaoliveira99
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liked by kellypiquet, maxfewell and 431,028 others
luisinhaoliveira: weekend getaway 😙
view 2,846 comments
user: not her trying to soft launch 😭😭😭😭
user: more like weekend cheat-away
user: pretty girl 😍
user: wait- so she’s actually with lando????
user: girl, he ain’t interested in you let’s bffr
user: he didn’t even like or comment 🤣
user: luuuuuuu 😍😍😍
user: how does it feel to have yn’s left overs??
user: is she aware that he’s just using her???
user: @landonorris @landonorris @yourusername @yourusername
user: lando couldn’t even handle yn and ya’ll believe he can handle this beautiful woman?? 😭😭😭
user: acting like that’s her man 💀
user: hate to break it to you but once a cheater always a cheater 🫢 so you best watch out, babes
user: YOU’RE the other woman, don’t get it twisted
user: ynlando >>
user: why are you soft launching as if no one knows?
↳ user: she really thought she ate 😂😂😂
user: you’re beautiful!!! 😩😩
user: is that lando or??
user: CRYING 😭😭😭 home girl thought she did something by “soft-launching” LMAOOOOOOOOO
user: ya’ll are so mean, omg 😭 it’s not her fault lando cheated
↳ user: she knew he was in a relationship and still got with him?????? hello??????
user: he ain’t even comment 💀💀💀💀
↳ user: let alone like 😭
user: @landonorris this your new girl???
user: this means i finally have a chance with THE yn ln!! 🥳
↳ user: hate to break it to you, but that’s tom’s girl now
user: ya’ll calling lando a cheater when it’s yn 😂😂😂
user: anyways
user: this drama’s sooo goood
user: u and lando are so cute 🥰🥰🥰
↳ user: they both belong in the street
oscarpiastri: lmao
comment has been deleted
user: where’s lando?? waiting for a comment or like
user: ya’ll are so mean 😭😭😭
user: yntom >>>
user: yn’s better than me bc i would be DRAGGING both their asses on the internet right about now, idccc
↳ user: girl, frrrr
↳ user: it just shows how she’s being the bigger person in this whole bs, tbh
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yourusername
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liked by tomblyth, landonorris and 695,899 others
yourusername: thank you, next 💋
view 5,725 comments
user: not lando still being in her likes 😭
↳ user: mans is DESPERATE for her attention
isahernaez: eres realmente una belleza 😍
see translation: you’re truly a beauty
hunterschafer: WOW
hunterschafer: YOURE A GODDESS
hunterschafer: MY GODDDD 😍😍😍
oliviarodrigo: gorgeous gorgeous girl! 😩
↳ yourusername: right back at youuu, ml 💗
user: can’t believe lando let this gorgeous woman go
user: lando fucks shit up but yn comes and serves each time
↳ user: all she does is post and comes up with a caption and yet she remains unbothered and iconic!
↳ user: she shuts la*do up by posting, i swear
user: MOTHER ASF 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨
user: babes in her reputation era
lilymhe: absolute beauty right here! 😮‍💨
user: teach me your ways
tomblyth: okay, we get it, you’re incredibly gorgeous
↳ yourusername: oh stop, you’re making me blush
↳ user: ooohhh????
tomblyth: can i be your next?
↳ yourusername: you’d like wouldn’t you? 🤔
↳ tomblyth: i just want to show you off
↳ user: QUICK: someone check on lando
↳ user: ARE THEY FLIRTING OR?????
↳ user: i find it hard to believe they’re not a thing
user: tom and yn flirting??!???? 👀
user: “i just want to show you off” SIR????
↳ user: if your man ain’t show you off, he ain’t the one
user: i just know lando is crying right now
↳ user: as he should!
user: mother is serving, ohhh myyy 😍😍😍
user: TOM’s COMmENT????
user: if her and tom don’t get together ima have a mental breakdown, i swear
user: serving as always!!!
user: unbothered queen
user: YNTOM NATION RISE!!!!!!!!!!
carlossainz55: that’s my best friend!
user: lando liked 😭😭
↳ user: he’s craving yn’s attention, but then again i would too
user: screw tom … let ME be your next
user: i WANNA BE UR NEXT, BABE
user: 😍😍😍😍😍 WOW WOW WOW
user: mother is mothering
user: @landonorris apologies to mom so we can move on
↳ user: i NEED them together 😭😭😭
user: SLAYYYY
oscarpiastri: 🤩🤩🤩
imessage
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tomblyth
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55 and 674,037 others
tomblyth: here’s to another epic outing w/ my favorite people!
tagged: @yourusername @joshandresrivera @hunterschafer
view 5,601 comments
user: yntom being each other’s favorite person >>> 🥰
user: hunter & yn singing “you belong with me” is a slayyyyy
user: josh’s message 🤣
user: the 5th pic OMGGG ❤️❤️❤️
joshandresrivera: i feel exposed 😔
joshandresrivera: art admiring art 😍
↳ yourusername: aw thank you! (he was looking at me btw)
↳ joshandresrivera: can you not?? 🙄
↳ tomblyth: can you blame me?
↳ user: IMA GO SHOWER WITH MY TOASTER BRB
user: i love them omg
user: yn better have dedicated “you belong with me” to tom
user: my parents, frrrr
user: 5th slide 😭😭😭
user: are they dating?? officially??
hunterschafer: same time next week?
hunterschafer: i love you alllll 😘
user: my yntom heart is giggling at the 5th slide
user: this cast has my heart, i swear!! ❤️❤️❤️
yourusername: my favorite boy everrrr <33
yourusername: 😘😘😘 ilyyyy
↳ user: @landonorris
↳ user: nahhhhh 😭😭
user: IF THEY DONT DATE WITHIN THE NEXT WEEK OR WHATEVER IM GONNA GO APESHIT, OMG
user: yn should’ve sang “london boy”
user: my yntom heart 😩😩😩
user: the 5th slide has me grinning ear to ear
user: THE HEAD LEAN 😭😭😭😭
user: she’s living her best life with him, i swear 🥰
↳ user: she’s definitely glowing!!
user: she deserves a guy like him … who will treat her right
user: i love this friendship 😩
user: them >>>>>
user: they’re in love, your honor
user: i hope they’re together ❤️
↳ user: i feel like they’re keeping it private
user: lando’s currently going apeshit
user: @landonorris
user: singing “you belong with me” SLAYYYYYYYYY
user: i love them 😭😭😭 together or not
user: soulmates frrr
user: mom and dad ❤️❤️
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yourusername
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liked by oliviarodrigo, tomblyth and 624,510 others
yourusername: 🍃
view 4,028 comments
user: IS THAT LANDO??????
↳ user: you really think that’s lando?? 🤣
↳ user: YES!
user: whatever tom’s doing is working bc she’s glowing
user: that’s definitely tom, OMG!!!!
user: her smile 😩😩
lilymhe: you’re unreal, i swear
↳ yourusername: says YOU 😩
user: yn post whatever la*do sent you, please!!!
user: is she soft launching or??
user: lando?
charlottesiine: you >>> 😍😍
user: she’s glowing 😍✨
↳ user: tom’s the one making her ✨ GLOW ✨ like this!!
user: wait is that lando??? or tom???
user: i find it funny how ppl think that’s lando 😭😭
hunterschafer: you’re sooo prettyyyyy
user: she’s literally glowing 😍😍😍😍
user: the last pic 😩 i LOVE THEM, OMGG
user: such a natural beauty, i swear
user: @tomblyth KEEP MAKING HER GLOW LIKE THIS!!!
user: yk damn well the relationship between her and lando was falling apart the moment she stopped glowing like this
user: she’s radiating so much energy ✨✨✨
user: it’s clear to see that she's in love, her face is radiating with joy and happiness …. you can see it in her beaming smile
↳ user: she’s glowing with love, and it’s a beautiful sight
user: your face is mesmerizing 😩😩😩
tomblyth: i’m enthralled by your beauty
↳ user: SOMEONE GET ME A MAN LIKE THIS, I SWEAR
↳ user: he’s sooo in love 😩
tomblyth: stunning views
↳ yourusername: don’t boost my ego like that 🙄 or else …
↳ tomblyth: can you just accept my compliment for once?
↳ user: you cannot tell me these two aren’t together bc they certainly are!!
zendaya: are you even real? 😍
↳ yourusername: coming from youu??? 😩😩
danielricciardo: who’s got you smiling like that??
↳ carlossainz55: ^^
↳ yourusername: wouldn’t ya’ll like to know
user: i can’t imagine being as beautiful as you
↳ yourusername: you’re a beautyyy <333
↳ user: i lOve you omg!!! ❤️❤️❤️
user: 😍😍😍😩😩😩😩😩
user: she’s smiling brighter than ever 🥰🥰🥰
user: gorggg
landonorris: 😍
comment has been deleted
user: MOTHER’S GLOWING!! AS SHE SHOULD!!
user: tHe last slide 😭😭😭😭
taglist:
@tomblyth-tsunoda @love4josh @dudde-44 @coconut-dreamz @newlifeforus @loxbbg @dakotali @f1footballluvverr @mountmaason19 @poppyflower-22 @magical-spit @nazm145 @nikolaros22 @sincerlymatakorama @36babyg @bucket-of-fanfiction @gyunheat @millyswife @onlyrealjoy @ocyeanicc @sarah-thatstings-ann @ushygushybaby @shrimpybbq @reyfolks @earth-to-lottie @smugrogerina @jenniferrvsesi @aleidag1rly @charlesswife @sheluvsf1 @omgsuperstarg @krispy-r @lwritesstuff @eutrizbea @psychiceaglepeach @theseerbetweenus
1K notes · View notes
luvt0kki · 3 months
Text
closer | j.w.y
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pairing: foxhybrid!Wooyoung x f!reader ( ft. husband!Hongjoong)
♡₊˚ inspired by one of my fave fics by @kitten4sannie ( Spilled Milk is an all time favourite of mine, hybrid!woo is so hard not to write about)
summary: It was supposed to be just for a while but even then, when your next-door neighbor had asked you and your husband to look after his fox hybrid, Wooyoung, you had found yourself being fond of his red fluffy fox ears and his playfulness. But when your neighbor got a better job opportunity abroad, you and your husband weren’t able to say no to letting the lovable and loyal hybrid into your home and your lives. The thing is, this fox hybrid was particularly fond of his new owners wife. He couldn’t help it.
wc: 10.5k (kinda proofread but too many words brain hort, sorry for errors :< )
cw: hybrid AU, smut, foxhybrid!wooyoung, afab and wife!reader, pregnancy, mommy kink, dubcon-ish ( consent is very important guys), lactation kink, cream pie ( wrap it before you tap it please), husband!Hongjoong, breeding kink, somnophillia, subby!Woo, pregnancy hormones, Woo goes into rut, handjob, fingering, cunnilingus, oral, dom!hongjoong ( cause yes)
REMINDER : my works do not represent the irl members in any way, this is purely a work of FICTION.
a/n: hello so it’s been awhile! This is definitely not one of my best works but I had brainrot...l I'm not yet fully back but will slowly post from time to time. I know this is a random post that's not related to trainings wheels or swm but ahh I just really wanted to write this. I hope you guys will enjoy this as it was something I wanted to write to take a break from sway with me. This took me 3 months since I was so busy. sorry for being ia guys! I'm still here I swear!
READ CONTENT WARNING BEFORE READING!
DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE, OR OTHERWISE REPURPOSE ANY OF MY WORK HERE. I DO NOT NOR WILL ALLOW IT.
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It was supposed to be temporary.
It was supposed to be just for a while but even then, when your next-door neighbor had asked you and your husband to look after his fox hybrid, Wooyoung, you had found yourself being fond of his red fluffy fox ears and his playfulness. You were okay with having Wooyoung around for a month and having him stay with you for when his owner was away for business trips. But then when your neighbor had gotten a better job opportunity abroad and had asked you and Hongjoong to take in his loyal friend and hybrid, you had found yourself reluctant but it was so hard to say no when Wooyoung himself had said that he’d want to be with you and your husband.
Eventually, Wooyoung was fully moved in and slowly became a part of your and Hongjoong’s lives, forming a little unit.
At-home movie nights with your husband now included the energetic and affectionate hybrid, walks in the park too, and even though he had his own room, he would sometimes sneak into the master bedroom to lie next to you, sandwiching you between him and Hongjoong. In fact, it was your husband who was more than happy to take in Wooyoung so that you wouldn’t be alone when he’s at work and that you’d have a companion for when you go out.
“I swear, I think he likes you more than me.” Hongjoong chuckled as he was fixing his tie.
“I’m sure he loves us both equally, Joong.” You told him, still on the bed and watching him get ready to go to work.
“I’d beg to differ, darling. He’s more clingy with you.” Hongjoong met your eyes through the mirror. “More touchy too.”
“He’s very affectionate and he loves getting scratched behind his cute ears.”
You still didn’t believe that Wooyoung had favorites.
Throwing off the covers and getting up, you began to make the bed, unaware of your husband’s wandering eyes drinking in your form in your silk lingerie sleepwear. The camisole top and short shorts were a new set he hasn’t seen before til last night when you got into bed after he had fucked you into the mattress, a cute moaning mess beneath him.
“But you’re less lonely with him around right?” He asked, continuing to ogle his darling wife.
“I guess I am…”
“And I’m a little jealous he gets to spend all day with you.” Hongjoong walked over to you, standing behind you as you were slightly bent over readjusting the comforter and pillows. He gripped your hips and pulled your ass against his groin so suddenly. “Maybe he’s so affectionate with you because he likes you?”
“Joong!” You squeaked at the sudden tug at your hips, your body growing warm the moment he pressed you against him. “Y-you’re being silly!”
“Am I?” He smirked, enjoying your fluster and meek movements to stop him from getting handsy. “He’s a male fox hybrid, darling. He doesn’t even have other female hybrid friends and even when he sees one, he’s disinterested. I think…,” he wrapped his arm around your waist pressing your back against his body while his other hand groped the flesh of your ass. “Our Wooyoungie has a crush on mommy.”
Your face flushed at the way his voice dipped when he said that.
“J-joong you need to go to work,” you stifled a moan when he grabbed your breast and gave it a teasing squeeze. “D-don’t want you to be late.”
“Mhm…” he hummed against your ear, unable to keep his hands off of you, a hand snaking its way into your shorts, happy to find that you weren’t wearing any panties. “I think I can make my wife cum once before I leave without getting late.”
Hongjoong’s desire to touch you this early in the morning only grew the moment his fingers dipped between your slit to find that you were already wet and ready for him. Oh, how he loved the way your body reacted to him.
“Plus, the more we do it. The higher the chances of us having a baby, right?” He began to kiss and suck at that sensitive spot on your neck, your hips grinding down into his hand on their own.
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Wooyoung had fallen asleep on the couch last night and had woken up wrapped in his favorite blanket that you had gotten him when you and Hongjoong decided to take him into your shared home and lives. He rubbed his eyes as he saw Hongjoong walk out of the hall, slipping on his blazer with his briefcase in one hand.
“Morning, Woo.” Hongjoong smiled at him, the nickname making his fox ears perk up. “Behave while I’m at work, okay?”
Wooyoung with sleep in his eyes, nodded.
“As usual, take care of Y/N too. Don’t give her too much trouble.”
He nodded again, watching the man grab the keys to his car and check himself in the mirror by the apartment door.
Wooyoung’s nose twitched as he came to his senses, noticing that your scent was all over Hongjoong this morning. His ears dropped as he knew what that meant…he wasn’t dumb. Was it silly that he had a crush on you? Did Hongjoong know he did?
Before Hongjoong left, he gave Wooyoung a gentle pat on the head and said, “I’ll be home later.”
Back then he didn’t like it when you and Hongjoong were apart. It had felt like the newfound connection he had with the two of you was incomplete but now he didn’t mind it at all, especially since he spent more time with you and had a preference for you. His hybrid instincts saw Hongjoong as the disciplinary figure and a provider for you and him while you were the figure of nurture and love. You were the one he could cuddle and snuggle to, the one whom he could get physical affection from. He wasn’t sure when his crush on you started but he believed it was when his former owner left him under your and Hongjoong’s care for the first time.
Getting up, he padded his way to the master bedroom, your scent becoming stronger and stronger as he neared.
He peeked his head by the open door, not wanting to disturb you if you were doing anything like your morning skincare routine or getting dressed. His fox ears dropped a little as he saw that the bed was unmade and you were lying down, under the comforter, asleep.
Were you not feeling well?
Wooyoung quietly moved closer and carefully knelt on the bed, his knee dipping into the mattress. He glanced at your peacefully sleeping face, making sure he hadn’t disturbed you before continuing to crawl next to you, wanting to be close.
Gently taking your hand that was on your stomach, he laid his head there and placed it on his head, near his fox ears, letting you know somehow that he was with you.
“Mhm…” the soft hum came from you and Wooyoung's ears twitched excitedly at the sound. When he felt your fingers brush against his ears, a shiver went down his spine and he couldn’t stop the way his head rubbed on your tummy. “Good morning, Woo.” You greeted him sleepily, feeling his soft furry ears and beginning to languidly play with his hair and scratch that spot behind his ear that made his bushy and fluffy red tail wag uncontrollably.
“Morning…” Wooyoung softly smiled to himself, enjoying your touch and your warmth. He could smell Hongjoong’s scent off of you…the mixed scent of you and him that he’d get a whiff of when he woke up in the middle of the night and heard muffled moans and the rhythmic slapping of skin against skin.
Wooyoung wanted to scent you too…
“Thank you for the blanket.” Wooyoung purred, enjoying the way you caressed and touched him.
If he asked would you let him?
“Didn’t want to wake you. You were sleeping so peacefully but I didn’t want you to get cold.” You chuckled. “You didn’t feel cold?”
Wooyoung shook his head.
“That’s good.”
A beat of silence passed and Wooyoung couldn’t help but say…
“I can smell Hongjoong all over you…are you still trying for a baby?”
His question made heat bloom in your cheeks and your eyes fluttered open, seeing the top of Wooyoung’s bright red hair and his pretty pointed fox ears.
“Y-yeah…we’re still trying…. it's been three months since…I haven’t taken a pregnancy test yet though.”
Wooyoung could tell you were anxious. “But you’re starting to smell different lately…still you but more sweet. Like candy!” His ears perked up and you couldn’t help but giggle at how adorable the handsome hybrid was. “Maybe there’s a baby already.”
“Well, I’ll just have to muster the courage to take a test soon.”
Wooyoung nodded.
The two of you cuddled and basked in the slow morning of that day. The fox hybrid was burrowing feelings of envy that Hongjoong was going to have a baby with you…his sense of smell doesn’t lie. If a baby came into the picture, what of him then? Usually, most hybrids are given up because a baby has entered their owners' lives…will you give him up too?
Wooyoung tried to ignore those feelings of abandonment, telling himself that you would never let him go, and went about the day as usual. He accompanied you to the grocery store and helped around in the kitchen, you’d lightly smack his hand when he would try to steal the chocolate chips you were putting in the cookie batter.
A week passed and the particular day where you and Hongjoong were both out and he was left alone in the apartment, was the day that you had found out that you were pregnant. The two of you returned and happily shared the news with him, and Wooyoung was genuinely happy for both of you as well as a little scared for what the future holds.
One sunset evening, you were snuggled into Hongjoong’s side watching a movie while Wooyoung had his head on your lap. The movie wasn’t anything serious, it was light-hearted and romantic. Wooyoung didn’t really pay attention because he was enjoying the way you were playing with his hair and caressing his fox ears.
“Oh, Woo, I forgot to ask…Seonghwa reminded me to ask you if you have a mate? Apparently, you’ll be going into a rut soon.” Hongjoong spoke nonchalantly.
Wooyoung’s cheeks grew hot at the question. “N-no I don’t have a mate…”
“And your rut?”
He snuggled closer to you. “…it’s soon.”
“We never got to take care of him when he goes through that…” you had softly said to Hongjoong, not having had the experience of dealing with Wooyoung’s rut ever because he was with his former owner then. “He has socialized with other hybrids though…all his friends are male hybrids…Wooyoung was there a hybrid you fancy?”
Wooyoung didn’t know where his bratty attitude arose from but it showed.
“Don’t want a mate.” He huffed, pouting and throwing a little fit.
“But what then when you go into a rut?” Hongjoong made his voice a little firmer, not liking the hybrid’s reaction when he was speaking of something serious.
“I’ll handle it on my own,” he huffed, brows knitted and glaring at Hongjoong through his lashes. “I. Don’t. Want. A. Mate.”
“J-joong,” your voice came like a saving grace. “Let’s not force, Woo, if he’s not okay with it.” You said, soothing Wooyoung with scratches behind his ears making his frustration simmer down immediately. “If he says he can handle it let’s trust him, okay?”
Hongjoong looked at you, unsure and hesitant. As much as he would like this recurring period for Wooyoung to be handled in the best possible way and less of a hassle for you and him, he was weak to your words.
Wooyoung waited with bated breath for Hongjoong’s response, his fear and anxiety slowly bubbling in his chest as the next solution to a hybrid without a mate, was a hotel-like establishment purely for hybrids in heat or a rut. He didn’t want to go there, he didn’t want to be away from home, from you.
“I guess we can observe him when he does go into a rut and make sure he goes through it safely.”
Wooyoung broke into a grin and nuzzled in his cheek on your tummy, the warmth of your body and sweet scent making him feel warm. He didn’t want a mate…he’d rather be close to you.
“How did you handle it before Woo?” You asked the handsome hybrid that was so clingy and affectionate today.
“Hmmm…I just let it pass. Lock myself in a room for two days or three.”
Wooyoung watched your eyes soften at his response, your gaze and pity making his tail wag a little.
“And it works?” Your lips were pouting as you continued to pet him.
Wooyoung nodded, eyes closing in bliss at your touch, his tail making a big swoop.
“Hey!” Hongjoong blurted out as the bushy red tail whacked him in the face.
Wooyoung’s ears flattened at Hongjoong’s tone but it lifted at the soothing sound of your careless and mirthful laughter.
“Awe, Joongie.” You cooed at your husband, reaching out to caress his cheek.
“My bad.” Wooyoung shrugged with a smile, looking at the two treasured people in his life, Hongjoong unable to break into a smile at the moment between the three of you.
“You two enjoy teasing me,” Hongjoong kissed your cheek and patted Wooyoung’s head.
“Oh, you love us.” You giggled, giving Wooyoung a kiss on the forehead after Hongjoong’s kiss.
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As weeks passed since the confirmation and announcement of your pregnancy, you entered your second trimester, Wooyoung couldn’t help but notice how much sweeter your scent had become and when he watched you move around the house, his eyes would stare at the hint of a bump at your tummy.
Hongjoong on the other hand, had become more busy at work and being editor in chief for one of the top fashion magazines in the country, it ate up his time. The new summer line of many brands was to be released soon and while those brands begged for a feature on the magazine, Hongjoong would sigh in his office wishing he was with you instead. So, Wooyoung had to get used to the new system here in the household for when Hongjoong was away, it was his job to protect you and watch over you.
The summer heat had already begun to warm the atmosphere even more and Wooyoung could feel his senses sharpen. His watchful eyes grew even more alert as he looked after you while Hongjoong was away.
Every chore, movement, or even when you were just napping, he was there.
Today though, when you moved around in the kitchen with the tempting decadent smell of cookies baking in the oven wafting throughout the whole apartment, he noticed you wince a little bit as you just put the second batch of cookies in the oven.
Wooyoung’s ears perked up at the sight of you in mild discomfort and he leaned forward a bit in his seat on one of the stools by the kitchen island. He didn’t move yet not until he was sure you needed him.
“A-are you okay?” He asked.
You looked at him and smiled through your discomfort. “Just a little achy.”
“That’s not good right?” His brows furrowed.
“N-no, it’s expected. I’m in my second trimester, and my breasts are sore…my doctor said it’s because I’m going to start producing milk.”
Wooyoung blushed as his eyes fell upon your breasts hugged by the cute white summer dress you decided to wear today. Milk? From your...
“O-oh,” he looked away, feeling heat pool at his belly at the curve and plumpness of your chest that had actually gotten a bit fuller in size. “It hurts?”
“Just a little, but it’s nothing to worry about, Woo.”
The fox hybrid let it slide but still kept an eye on you.
As the day progressed, he felt clingier and more protective. The need to be with you was stronger than ever and the other feeling…the other feeling that was telling him to lock himself in his room was creeping up on him too.
It was only Monday…he had hoped that when he had to isolate it’d be during the weekend when Hongjoong was around. He needed to be around you even more so since you were carrying a baby…he needed to be around you because you’re smelling sweeter and sweeter each day since the start of your pregnancy. Sweeter than all the treats you baked out of the blue.
That evening, as you got ready for bed after Hongjoong had called and said that he’d be home really late so he didn’t want you to stay up and wait for him, Wooyoung was debating if it was safe for him to be around you.
You offered that he’d sleep with you on the bed but he said he wanted to watch something on the TV so he’d fall asleep on the sofa tonight. You only gave him a smile and a quick kiss goodnight on the forehead before heading to the master bedroom.
Wooyoung didn’t wrap himself in his favorite blanket. His skin was warmer than usual as his eyes were staring at the little light that leaked from the bottom of the master bedroom door. The sounds from the TV were background noise as he focused on hearing above it, just in case you needed him.
A little wince from you had him on his feet. Then a soft whimper had him quietly stepping towards the room. Were you in pain? The door was left slightly ajar. You always kept it this way when it was just you and him so that he wouldn’t feel like he was intruding if he wanted to be near you.
He peered through the little gap in the door with one eye, blinking and trying to find your presence in the room curiously.
You softly cursed to yourself, and sat up on the bed, the wet patches on your pajama camisole sticking uncomfortably to your skin. “W-what do I do…” you had murmured to yourself as you stared down at your breasts that had been aching and swollen lately.
Wooyoung’s eyes closed as a new scent reached his nose. It was like milk…but sweeter. He felt his mouth salivate at the smell before his eyes opened to look for the source, gulping when he found it.
With the duvet up to your lap, you were sat on the bed with a towel dabbing at the silk camisole that had dampened patches…the fabric sticking to the swell and curves of your breasts, and your nipples poking through.
“This…it’s too early…,” you mumbled as you wondered if massaging your breasts would help with the ache. Your doctor mentioned that breast milk leaking was normal and that as long as there was no blood, it was all good but…the wet sticky mess it left was a handful.
You cupped your right breast and gently massaged it, sighing as it relieved some of the pain. Wooyoung gulped when he saw this, heat going straight down to his cock that slowly stiffened the more he smelled that rich sweet scent and watched you massage your breasts.
He kept his silence, his tail swaying side to side slowly as he watched you change into a new set of pajamas then laid down in bed again to try to sleep. You switched off the lamp on your nightstand and Wooyoung couldn’t help but slip inside the room.
He just wanted to get closer to your sweet scent and cuddle. Cuddle and snuggle like he does when Hongjoong comes home late or when he’s away on a business trip.
Wooyoung took Hongjoong’s empty spot on the bed, gazing at you as you slept. Your new pink camisole hugged your breasts and tummy, showing off that little baby bump that was growing slowly with each month that passed. As he lay on his side, his eyes took in your peacefully sleeping expression before they were drawn to your breasts.
He began to salivate again and his cock which had been hard since he was peeking through the door, ached even more. He could feel his rut looming over him like a dark cloud…and even though he was lying still, his tail restlessly snapped up and down.
But he didn’t want to disrespect you. He loved you too much to act on any of the dirty thoughts in his head…to act on his crush on you that didn’t want him to have or find a mate.
So he forced his eyes closed and tried to focus on the sound of your even breathing, trying to imitate it so that he too could calm down and avoid the itch to touch you and be closer to you. He didn’t want to slip up when his rut came then make Hongjoong decide that he’ll be sent to one of those hotels.
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Wooyoung thought he could manage. He really did. He had gone through his ruts before all alone…but this time it was difficult.
Something was different. He didn’t even think it’d be a big factor that would affect his rut. What made a difference was that you were a constant presence in his life now and in the long run too. He’s never had a rut around the opposite sex…even if you weren’t a hybrid, you had this sweet, comforting smell and since your pregnancy, it’s gotten more intense.
“Woo? You okay?” You pressed your palm against his forehead. “You’re really warm.”
He had blanked out on the couch this hot summer afternoon with all his thoughts that your sudden closeness took him by surprise and the strong whiff of your scent made his head spin.
His skin was hot to the touch and he was covered with a thin sheen of sweat. You bent over and kissed his forehead to feel for a fever.
His breath hitched as your breasts were at his eye level. They were hugged by your cotton tank top and that note of sweet milk overwhelmed his senses again, his hands scrambled to grab one of the pillows on the couch, placing it over his lap.
“Do you feel feverish, Woo?” You asked, standing up to full height, your hands soothingly caressing his ears and your fingers running through his bright red hair.
“N-not really,” he murmured, forcing his gaze away from your boobs. What would they feel like if he touched them? Were they sensitive? Did your milk taste sweet?
You pouted not sure what to do and also very worried about him. You took the seat on the couch beside him and turned the AC up, wondering if he might be coming down with something.
“I-I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” he managed to smile but it looked like a grimace which made you coo and pull him to lie down on your lap, so you could comfort him.
His ears twitched the more you caressed and petted him, scratching behind his ears now making that shivering sensation go straight to his cock.
This was bad.
He wanted to be near you…but he was scared he would lose control and get into trouble with Hongjoong.
“Y/N….”
“Yes, Youngie?” You hummed, comfortable on the couch as you put a movie on the TV.
“N-nothing…” he looked away, turning on his side so that he wasn’t looking at your pretty face and tempted to stare and continue to salivate at your full breasts.
After thirty minutes of focusing his eyes on the TV, he heard you whimper which instantly made him turn to you.
You had fallen asleep and your brows were knitted while your nose scrunched at something you felt.
He sat up slowly to not wake you and he worriedly looked at you.
Then the smell hit him.
He gulped and his eyes wearily traveled down from your face to your chest…the navy blue fabric began to stain at two spots…and they continued to dampen as you winced once more.
You were in discomfort again.
Wooyoung didn’t want to wake you up. You hadn’t slept properly the previous night because you had felt nauseous and Hongjoong was there to help you through it.
Maybe he could get a towel?
You whimpered in your sleep and he remembered how you soothed your pain a couple nights ago.
Before he could stop himself, his one hand cupped one of your breasts, his eyes shifting from your face and your pillowy, soft, tits. Your expression relaxed a little and his ears stood.
He was helping!
Wooyoung scooted closer, his other hand beginning to give the same attention to your neglected breast. He gently massaged and squeezed them…they were so soft and nice to touch. They were weighty beneath his palm and he noticed the damp patches beginning to grow... the thick sweet milky scent becoming stronger.
His mouth was salivating so much he had to swallow down thickly.
He can make you feel better. He knows he can!
He leaned closer to your breast his other hand not stopping its movements, and took a deep breath, his eyes closing at the decadent alluring scent. His tongue poked out and through the damp thin fabric of your top, he gently dragged his tongue along your stiffening peaks.
The taste of cotton wasn’t enough to mellow the sweetness of the milk that leaked from your breasts. He looked up at you as he continued to kitten lick and swirl his tongue around. You looked as peaceful as you did when he slept next to you a couple nights ago.
Wooyoung kept telling himself that he was helping you that he was doing good by soothing your pain but his increasingly rut-muddled mind was getting the best of him too.
Slowly, he pulled down the hem of your top until your breast popped out. He stared at the milky white that leaked out your nipple. He squeezed the pillowy flesh a bit and massaged it around a little only to find more milk spilled as he did that.
Without a single thought or even a hint of hesitation, he licked your nipple without the barrier of your top and the moment he tasted the fresh spilled milk on his tongue, his cock throbbed. You tasted so sweet. He circled his tongue and flicked it around again. His eyes closed as he began to gently suck, the action making more of your milk spill unto his tongue.
His tail wagged happily as he suckled at your breast, drinking your milk. You tasted so good, he didn’t think he could stop. He moaned, mouth stuffed with your tit. He could feel his right hand getting wet and he opened his eyes just a little only to see your right breast leaking more.
What a waste, he thought to himself before latching off your left breast to give the same treatment to the other.
“A-ah…” you mumbled softly in your sleep.
Wooyoung’s eyes snapped to your face as your brows were slightly knitted and your plump pretty lips were parted.
His hand on your breast gently rolled your stiff nipple between his fingers while he continued to suck at the other. Did you need more to relax?
His ears twitched when he heard that beautiful delicate sound that he would hear sometimes late in the night when he couldn’t sleep and he wasn’t allowed in the bedroom. Your soft moan made him short-circuit. He was the cause of that sound. Him.
Wooyoung knew he should stop. You weren’t his…you were Hongjoong’s. You weren’t his mate, you can’t ever be cause you were not a hybrid.
But like Hongjoong, he loved you too.
He loved you. He wanted to make you feel good. He wanted to touch you the way Hongjoong touched you.
So he couldn’t stop.
With each drop of sweet milk that ran down his throat, he was growing dizzy with desire and his rut was swallowing him whole. He swirled his tongue and continued to suck, not meaning to have done it as hard as he did that it stirred you awake from your nap.
“J-joongie?” Your eyes fluttered open, sleep making them feel heavy.
Your body was warm and tingling with pleasure that pooled directly to your lower belly. Your clit throbbed as your breasts were being fondled and…sucked?
Eyes slowly adjusting to your surroundings, you focused your gaze down, seeing a blur of red hair. Your breasts no longer ached instead they were being stimulated and played with. The wet hot tongue flicking and lapping at the peak of your breast made you moan as your body was being awoken with these sensations.
You blinked a couple of times, your breath getting quicker, and noticing the fluffy pointed red ears.
“Y-Youngie? Ah—,” you cut yourself off when he continued to suckle and fondle your other breast. “What are you doing?”
The fox hybrid stopped at the sound of his name.
Were you going to get mad?
His eyes snapped open and you were met with his wide and round puppy gaze. His pointy ears fell flat on his head and though his mouth was still full of your tit, he had stopped having his fill of your milk.
It was that look on his face when he was sorry for getting into trouble. The one that made your heart ache…how could you possibly get mad at him?
He latched off your tit unwillingly and looked down, avoiding your gaze. There was a sheen of your milk over his pink lips and you couldn’t help but feel your cheeks warm as what was happening processed in your head.
“Youngie…” your voice was soft and not scolding.
You cupped his cheek to make him look at you, his cheeks a dark shade of red as you waited for him to explain himself.
“I-I’m sorry…” he murmured, keeping his hands in fists on his lap. “Y-you were hurting…I just wanted to help. Y-you smelled so good. Your milk was leaking too…didn’t want it to go to waste.”
“Youngie…”
“I’m sorry.”
He turned his head away to look down, the carpet suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. While he avoided your gaze, you observed yours and Hongjoong’s hybrid. You placed your palm on his forehead again, he was warmer than when you had checked and your eyes observed his body, blushing when you noticed the very prominent tent in his black sweatpants.
“Woo, are you having your rut?”
He still didn’t look at you and like a sad puppy, he nodded ashamedly, his fingernails digging into his palms as he did his best to not pounce on you then there. You had an arm over your breasts covering them…why were you hiding from him?
His heart sank.
“But I made you feel better right?” He asked, his voice strained as he looked up at you.
He did but—
“I did good, right?” He leaned closer and you tried to move away but he only pressed forward til your back was against the cushions of the couch, his arms on either side of your body.
“You did but Woo—,”
“Then shouldn’t I get a treat?”
The look in his eyes has shifted. Gone was the sweet and playful Wooyoung you knew. His pupils were blown and predatory…and when his gaze flickered from your face to your chest, you felt like hiding.
“Youngie…” you were at a lost for words.
“P-please, let me have a treat. Let me make you feel good,” he pressed his nose onto your neck, taking a deep breath and whiff of your scent. “You smell so good. So, so, good.”
Your hands go to his shoulders as your heart raced in your chest. You could feel just how tense he was and how his muscles flexed beneath his thin black sweater. What were you to do?
“You taste so sweet too…,” he whined into your neck, a hand gently cupping your right breast and giving a squeeze, unable to fight back the moan that escaped your lips. “That feels good, doesn’t it?” He purred against your ear, licking a stripe along your neck. “You were making pretty noises when I was touching you.”
You gasped when you felt his pelvis press against your clothed cunt. He was hard and throbbing against his sweats, and when he slowly pressed his erection even more against you, you felt your walls clench around nothing.
It was hard to resist his touches, especially with how your hormones made you so sensitive and more…needy. You felt slightly embarrassed to feel yourself growing wet and aroused by him.
Wooyoung whimpered softly when his length rubbed against your covered heat, he could feel just how warm it was. He wondered how pretty your pussy would be taking his cock…or his knot…or his cu—
“Youngie,” his name came out in a breathy moan, a sound that he only dreamed of…a sound that he wanted to hear over and over. A sweet seductive rendition of his name that made all his self-control evaporate.
“I need you so bad,” he groaned, grinding his erection against your core, the friction sending sparks of pleasure throughout his body while your own reacted strongly to him too.
This was dirty. The whole act of it. Your husband wasn’t home and your weak attempts to fend off the hybrid were pitiful because, in the end, your body enjoyed it all. You enjoyed the way his hips were humping you, how his cock was rock hard against the gusset of your cotton shorts and rubbed your throbbing clit.
“W-Wooyoung!” You gasped when he latched his mouth on your left breast, nipping at your sensitive nipple before soothing them with flicks and swirls of his tongue. The warm tingly feeling in your boob made your pussy clench and you couldn’t stop the soft whimpers that came from you.
Wooyoung continued to grind against you, moaning with his mouth full of your tit and sweet milk on his greedy tongue. You tasted so good. How was we ever going to stop? Your moans and the scent of your arousal told him how much your body was enjoying this.
Your cheeks were hot as you realized he was drinking your milk. Your mind was hazy as your core ached for more, for something to be inside you. God, your hormones were through the roof and your gentle heart only felt sympathy for yours and Hongjoong’s hybrid.
“Y-Youngie w-wait,” you stuttered out softly, body burning hot from how he had been humping you and suckling at your sensitive chest.
Despite his rut-muddled brain, he had listened. If it had been any other hybrid with no self-control at all, they wouldn’t have stopped. Wooyoung stopped because…well…he loved you. Every word you said, everything you did, your comfort, and your happiness were things he valued so much.
He stopped his movements and looked up at you, releasing your nipple from his greedy mouth. Your face was flushed and there was a shy glint in your eye as you bit the inside of your cheek, thinking about something. Did he go too far?
“You’re going through your rut right?” You caressed his cheek as he rested his head on your chest.
He nodded.
“Which explains why your body is warmer than usual.”
The hybrid nodded again.
“D-does it hurt?” Your thumb softly glided over his cheekbone.
Wooyoung wanted to nod. His cock was so hard it hurts. He needed to do something about it…he needed release.
“Can I try to make you feel better?” You asked, unsure if what you thought of would actually help. Since he had been such a sweet boy for caring so much about your discomfort that he did actually help with the ache and pain in your breasts, you wanted to help him too.
His fluffy red ears pointed up high as his eyes widened and he sat up, wondering what you meant.
“W-what do you mean?” He stuttered, a dust of red blooming across his face.
Trying to ignore the rapid thumping of your heart, you gently guided him to sit closer to you and you looked at his crotch area, the top of the tent of his sweats a darker shade of gray as he had been leaking precum with how aroused he was.
“I’ll help you feel better too. You did the same for me, I want to help you. You said it hurts right?” You spoke softly as if someone could be eavesdropping.
Wooyoung gulped when your hand slowly ran up his thigh, getting closer and closer to his rock-hard cock.
“I-it does b-but I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to.” His eyes were shifting from your flustered face and your hand. You were touching him.
“You’re so sweet, Youngie,” you smiled, pressing your lips on his forehead. “Don’t worry, okay? I want to.”
You just wanted to give Wooyoung a helping hand, nothing more.
The sweet fox hybrid was someone you had grown to treasure in your life and that you loved, and wasn’t it your responsibility to make sure he went through his rut safely. You didn’t know how to handle it, Hongjoong did but he wasn’t here and Wooyoung didn’t like the idea of going to those hotels. This was the least you could do to help him.
You untied the string of his sweatpants and tugged it down along with his boxers, and the moment they slipped down enough to let his cock free, it sprung up and slapped against his abdomen. Your eyes widened a bit as you took in the shape of his length and how the dark pink tip was glistening and leaking with precum. He really looked so painfully hard…
Wooyoung shamelessly moaned with just the mere touch of your fingertip on his tip as you smeared his precum all over the head before skimming your touch along his length. Your palm was soft and warm, you were so focused on helping Wooyoung out whose head was leaning on your shoulder as he tried to keep his eyes open to watch your pretty hand wrap around his cock.
He was hot against your palm and the more you stared at it, the more you felt your core clench for something more too but you couldn’t do anything about it. You’re not sure if that was a line you could cross especially since you had Hongjoong.
“Y-you’re so hard, Woo.” You breathed out, your mouth feeling dry as you slowly moved your hand up and down along his length, the way Hongjoong had taught you to touch him when you two had gotten intimate in the early stages of your relationship.
“A-ah,” his hot breath fanned at your collarbones. Your silky palm around his length felt better than his own hand and the grip you had as you pumped his cock made his head spin with pleasure, and his tail wagged excitedly. “That feels good.”
You softly smiled to yourself, happy that he was finding relief.
You kissed the top of his head and moved your hand just a little bit faster, setting a pace that had the fox hybrid panting and whining at the pleasure. He sounded…so cute. You wondered why he didn’t want to date. He was incredibly handsome and playful as well as sweet. He would’ve gotten a partner easily if he wanted to.
Wooyoung felt like he was in one of his dreams except this time it wasn’t and it was better than his dreams.
He glanced at your hand wrapped around his cock, not believing his eyes that you were jerking him off. It was so mind-numbingly good. Then with your scent too? It was driving him crazy.
Tugging down at your tank top once more to free one of your breasts, he latched his mouth on your tit again making you gasp in surprise. His tongue circled and flicked against your nipple then he began to suck, his ears standing up high as the flavor of sweet milk graced his tongue.
“W-Woo,” you breathed out shakily, not stopping the way your hand twisted up and down his throbbing hot length.
Wooyoung moaned, his eyes closing as he lost himself in the pleasure he was feeling and the taste of your milk.
Without a warning, his cock twitched, and hot spurts of white shot from his tip coating your hand and making a mess on his lap. His body twitched as he sucked hard at your breast, coming while your core dripped more slick, aroused.
He released your breast as he panted, whining as his cock remained hard even after coming.
Your brows furrowed wondering why he was still…rock hard. You brought your hand a bit closer to you as he savored his high, his cum was sticky and thick, you were curious to have a taste but fought the urge to do so…you only do that with Hongjoong.
You grabbed a couple of tissue papers on the coffee table to clean your hand, letting Wooyoung rest a bit, unaware how the hybrid’s need only increased a thousandfold after your hand job.
Wooyoung’s mind was filled with nothing but filth and the need to feel you, touch you, and fuck you. You were so sweet to have helped him…but it wasn’t enough. He needed more. You’ll be nice, right? You said you wanted to help.
Before you could process what was happening, Wooyoung had you lying on the couch as he buried his face into your crotch. He pushed away the gusset of your shorts so he could lick and lap at your pussy through the fabric of your panties.
“M-mommy tastes so good,” he moaned into your pussy as you gasped at the sensation of his wet tongue messily over your clit and your entrance.
“Y-Youngie!” You tried to stop him but he had his arms wrapped around your thighs as he nuzzled his nose into your soaked panties.
“You’re wet,” he licked his lips. “Are you enjoying this, mommy? I can help make you feel good. Let me make you feel good.” He groaned flattening his tongue over where your clit was, your back arching.
Your soft whines and moans only egged him on and his hands couldn’t stop themselves from tearing your panties apart to reveal the pink pulsing and slick pussy he’s dreamed of. His mouth watered at the sight. Your folds glistened with your arousal and he could see your little hole squeezing around nothing.
He could fix that.
“M-mommy your pussy is so pretty.” His eyes were wide as he stared, letting go of one thigh so that he could touch your pink cunt. He gently used his middle finger to glide through your slit, collecting your slick and in awe at how much more leaked from your cunt. You smelled of pure sex and it was driving his rut-infested brain crazy.
“Y-youngie, we can’t— ah!”
He licked a long stripe up your cunt, humming as he tasted the salty yet sweet nectar. Your walls clenched once more, pushing out more of your arousal which Wooyoung happily lapped up. He encircled your clit with his tongue, flicking against the sensitive bud and enjoying the whimpers and moans that were leaving you.
He felt happy. He was the cause of your pleasure this very moment.
Then he got greedier, his lazy kitten licks grew messier as he began to make out with your lower lips, his tongue dipping into your needy hole then his mouth suckling at your pussy like he did with your breasts.
Your hands found their way to his bright red hair as you moaned, your body caving into the pleasure.
It was sinful.
The slurping wet sounds filled the living room and your pants and his needy whines and groans were a symphony of obscene desire that bounced off the walls of your home.
Wooyoung moaned against your cunt as you tugged at his hair. Were you going to cum? He wondered. Your moans got pitchier and your breath quickened. He could feel your thighs tensing in his hold and that only urged him on, eating you out like you were his last meal on earth. Your pussy’s nectar was second to the sweet milk he drank from your tits but both made him harder and want you even more.
“Youngie! I’m gonna c-cum!” You squeaked out so cutely that he only continued to ravage your pussy, sucking and licking greedily.
This was wrong, you thought to yourself. Hongjoong would disapprove of Wooyoung’s behavior but your body loved the attention the hybrid was giving you.
One harsh suck and you fell apart, coming all over his tongue and he happily lapped up your release, prolonging your orgasm.
Your legs fell limp as you lost yourself in your high, mind empty and not noticing your phone buzzing on the coffee table.
Wooyoung spread your pussy lips apart, eying it in wonder as he positioned himself on the couch, pushing your thighs to your chest as you looked up at him confused.
“Y-Youngie?”
“You’ll let me right?” He asked, taking his cock and rubbing the bulbous head all over your pussy, coating the tip with your arousal. “I’m still hard. N-need mommy.” He whined, slotting his length between your lips and gently rocking against you. He needed your permission.
“Woo…” you tried to gather your thoughts but your pussy was still throbbing from your orgasm, your whole body tingling with sensitivity as your hormones were in overdrive, needing and craving for more.
“Your pussy is empty,” he murmured, his body got to touch as he perspired, his rut unraveled at this point. “You need cock, don’t you? Need my cock?”
His words made you blush and you couldn’t help but moan when his tip rubbed against your clit. You couldn’t think straight anymore as all you could think of was his thick cock splitting you open.
“I’ll fill you up real good, mommy.” He whined, pushing the fat head into your pulsing hole. He moaned at the hot sensation of your walls around him, it excited him so much he pushed his cock all the way in, watching it disappear into you inch by inch.
Your back arched as he bottomed out inside you, your tits leaking out milk as his tip nudged delightfully at your g-spot.
“Y-youngie!” You cried out gripping the cushion beneath you as he pressed forward into you, pushing you deeper into the mating press.
“M-mommy you’re so tight and warm. Fuck. My cock is inside you—ah—,” he whimpered, slowly pulling out til only his tip was inside you before plunging back in, your eyes seeing white momentarily at how good his cock felt rubbing your walls.
His hands rested on either side of your head as he hurriedly increased his pace. His fox instincts took over him as his head was filled with nothing but the thought of fucking you and breeding you.
“Y-youngie!”
His eyes were dark, and his canines were bared as he grunted above you, rutting into you, drilling his cock into your sopping cunt. The snap of his hips was deep and impatient, he was rocking into you like his life depended on it.
“M-mommy,” he moaned over and over, whimpering when he felt your velvety warm walls hugged his cock so good. He was so envious of Hongjoong. He gets to have you all the time. He wanted your pussy too and you wanted him too right? That explained how your walls squeezed around him, almost sucking him into your heat like you wanted to milk his cock dry. He wanted that. He’d let you do that to him.
He drove his hips deeper and faster, earning a loud moan from you as more of your sweet sticky slick leaked out your cock stuffed cunt, his length gliding in and out so easily. “Mommy’s pussy feels so good. Want to give mommy my pups too.”
“Y-Youngie,” you slurred out, tits bouncing with each deep thrust as he kept you in the mating press, your nipples leaking out milk as he fucked you. It was hard to not get lost in the pleasure, not when his fat cock slammed over and over against your g-spot making your head mush. His words weren’t even processed properly in your head.
Wooyoung leaned over as he pounded into you, taking one of your tits into his mouth, sucking your sweet milk as he felt his balls and the base of his spine grow tighter and tighter.
“L-love…mommy’s…tits,” he mumbled against your breast, flicking his tongue over your sensitive nipple and licking every drop of milk. “Love mommy’s pussy.”
“Youngie, I’m going to c-cum, a-ah!” His thrusts got faster, each slam of the fat head into your cunt numbing all your logical thoughts.
“M-me too,” he groaned, feeling his knot grow tight. His hips chased his release. The build-up to finally reaching his peak clouded his brain as he pistons into your heat, the continuous pounding on your g-spot sending you over the edge as you creamed around his cock.
Your head fell back as your body was wracked by a powerful orgasm that made your walls spasm and suck his cock in deeper into you, and in less than a minute, the whiny pants and moans of your hybrid were cut off by a broken whimper. With one last deep thrust, he pushed his knot into your quivering pussy making you cry out as it doubled the effect of your orgasm. Wooyoung saw white as his seed poured into your sopping hole, his cock twitching uncontrollably as he spilled his hot seed into you.
Wooyoung’s head was buried into your pillowy chest as his knot was engulfed by your hot walls. He was panting, his breath hot against your skin as you lay beneath him limp and unmoving, your body tingling with the aftershocks of your orgasm.
In a hazy state, he licked along your breasts which were sticky and glistening with your milk. He growled possessively when he felt your pussy gently squeezing his knot, his arousal stirring again as it sunk into his head that he had filled your pussy with his cum. Wooyoung straightened up and glanced down at you.
Your hair was a pretty mess on your head, your eyelids were blinking heavily as you stared out into nothing and your lips were parted slightly as you slowly caught your breath. His beautiful Y/N. Gently, he cupped your face and caressed your cheek with his thumb, admiring how fucked out you looked beneath him. He glanced down to where you two were connected, his knot slowly disappearing and he felt his cock twitch to life at the sight of your pretty petal-like folds covered in a mess of your cream and his cum.
The hybrid was bewildered at the sight and all he knew was he wanted to do it over and over again.
Slowly, he pulled out of you, watching in awe as his seed leaked from your little hole. Not liking the idea of it going to waste, he gently hoisted you in his arms and carried you to yours and Hongjoong’s bed then gently laid you on it with your legs almost dangling off the edge. He folded your pliable legs and spread them apart for him before he plugged your leaking hole with his cock, pushing back his cum inside you. You whimpered as his fat length filled your sensitive cunt again.
“Y-Youngie, e-enough. T-that’s enough,” you slurred out, belly hot with his release.
“B-but mommy…,” he pouted, burying himself to the hilt and sighing once he was snug against your cervix. He grabbed your tit and squeezed it. “You said you wanted to help me…I still need your help.” His eyes were dark as his hand left your breast to glide down your very small bump before stopping when his thumb found your clit.
“I'm still so hard,” he whined, pressing his hips snugly against you while rolling your clit beneath his thumb, his cum and your slick making it easy for him to slide his digit around. “Only mommy cares for me.” He slowly began to shallowly thrust, his cock head nudging at your g-spot gently, your mind boggled at how the hybrid was still rock hard inside you. “You don’t want me to handle my rut all alone right? It’s more painful than before because you’re around. My beautiful m-mommy—ah!” He gasped when he felt your walls involuntarily clench around him. “It’s hard to be in control when you’re here…it’s all your fault.”
He was breathing heavily as he began to move against you once more, your body welcoming the sweet delicious scrape of his cock against your pulsing walls. You could deny it all you want but he felt so good. The way he fucked you, the way he suckled at your breasts…all of it was so good.
“M-my fault…” you repeated without a thought, not really understanding, too enraptured by the way he was rutting into you. “I-I’m sorry.”
Wooyoung whimpered at the soft apology, gripping your hips as strands of his bright red hair fell over his eyes, his ears twitching up as his pupils became blown and his mind became controlled by nothing else by his rut and his love for you.
“S’okay, mommy,” He hummed, leaning over to nuzzle his nose into your neck lovingly…possessively. “You’ll make it up to me now, right? Til I have my fill?” He licked along where your scent glands would be if you were a hybrid then gently nipped at the delicate skin, a soft gasp leaving you as he did. He moaned shakily when he felt your walls squeeze him when he grazed his teeth along your neck. “Mommy makes it so hard for me to control my rut…”
“My poor Youngie,” you cooed weakly, hugging him as he slowly slid his cock in and out of you. Your fingers combed through his hair and gently scratched behind his ears causing a deep resounding growl to purr from his chest. “I’m sorry…I-I’ll help.” At this point, boundaries between you and your handsome, playful, and loving fox hybrid no longer existed.
Those boundaries remained blurry and foggy when he began to fuck you like there was no tomorrow, letting him fulfill his needs with your own pleasure-greedy body. You lost count of how many times he came inside you and stretched you with his knot, all you knew was it warmed your heart that he was getting his fill and being relieved of his rut, while you were drunk on a cock that wasn’t even your husband's. Your breasts don’t even ache anymore, not when the hybrid pounding into you happily lapped up and suckled your milk.
Body burning too hot and mind sent into a state of unending pleasure, you don’t even hear the front door opening and closing, nor the soft chinking of the keys being dropped into the key dish by the entryway, nor the gentle loving voice of your husband announcing he was home.
Not even the hybrid stopped when he felt the presence of his other owner by the master bedroom’s doorway, in fact, he grew more possessive and territorial.
Hongjoong sighed and shook his head when he walked into his wife being fucked dumb on their bed by their supposedly sweet, unproblematic, and now very naked hybrid.
He had a feeling this would happen.
His expression was unreadable as he watched, unable to deny the twitch of his cock in his tailored pants when his eyes settled on the way your body took each thrust and how Wooyoung’s cock and your swollen pussy were covered in a sticky mess of cum.
He went over to the dresser and pulled at the bottom drawer.
Your head fell to the side as your body continued to rock with each thrust, heavy-lidded eyes making out the silhouette of your husband.
“J-joongie…”
The fox hybrid growled as you softly muttered out another man’s name, driving his cock faster into your pussy making you cry out as your head spun by the unending abuse of your g-spot.
As much as your husband enjoyed the pornographic sight of his beautiful wife getting fucked as he could only find beauty in the thought of how this was how you would look from a different perspective when he fucked you dumb like the good girl you were for him, he wasn’t happy with his naughty misbehaving hybrid.
Wooyoung didn’t stop, he couldn’t. It didn’t matter that Hongjoong’s dominant aura overpowered his own. Not when he was so close to cumming again and how your walls were pulsing around him.
The man of the house’s eyes darkened when he saw the very slight bruising on your soft delicate hips from the grip of Wooyoung’s hands as he pistons his hips into you mindlessly. How long has he been fucking you? Hongjoong knew this cock drunk state of yours all too well…he was rather impressed Wooyoung was able to bring you to this state.
Before Wooyoung could reach his nth orgasm, it was forcefully taken from him with one harsh tug. His eyes widened when he felt himself yanked back by the neck away from you, his cum that he had been fucking into you leaking out. He growled and fought against the leather around his neck.
He bared his teeth as he tried to pounce back onto you but then he felt the familiar disciplinary hand on the back of his neck squeezing him in warning. His body froze like it always had when he was being trained by Hongjoong.
“Bad puppy,” Hongjoong said dangerously low, forcing him down onto his knees.
“J-joongie…he needed…help,” you murmured out, unable to move, body too heavy from hours of fucking.
“Did he now?” He looked down at the fox hybrid, whose eyes were glued onto your pussy and whose cock was standing erect and glistening with your slick.
“Mommy didn’t cum yet, need to make mommy cum.” He was still in his rut frenzy, trying to crawl closer to you but Hongjoong yanked him back to his place.
“Stay here or else,” Hongjoong commanded in a voice that would make Wooyoung want to run and hide. His ears dropped as he pressed his hands on his thighs, nails digging into his skin as he trembled to control himself.
Hongjoong walked over to you, your legs dangling off the edge of the bed, your pussy covered with the hybrid's cum and the sheets below you drenched. Did Wooyoung manage to make you squirt like he does?
“My poor baby,” Hongjoong cooed, brushing hair away from your face as his eyes drank in your current state. He frowned when he saw how puffy your nipples were and before he could even ask if you were okay, your dainty fingers clutched at his shirt.
“Need to cum…Joongie. Please…” you whined causing Wooyoung’s ears to perk up, his head only hearing the first three words.
“Oh, darling.” He gently cupped your heavy breast feeling their weight beneath his palm and you whimpered at the feeling.
“Joong, please.”
Hongjoong only hummed at your plea, letting his hand roam your pliant body to continue observing you. His hand gently caressed the small bump of your tummy before he reached your inner thigh, trailing higher and clicking his tongue when he saw how his wife’s pink pussy was smeared with and leaked of cum.
“Wooyoung has been a bad fox, hasn’t he?” His voice was laced with tease and disapproval.
“H-he was good,” you defended the sweet hybrid, mind too fuzzy from the hours of sex. “He took care of me and I took care of him…he just got carried away a little.”
“Oh, sweetheart, this isn’t a little.” Hongjoong’s tone was stern and it made Wooyoung glare at his master rather than his usual cower. He was annoyed that Hongjoong was getting in between you and him, he was not done with wanting to fill you up with his cum. “You’re all sore aren’t you, baby?”
You nodded slowly, admitting that you were tired even though your body ached for more since Wooyoung was in the process of making you come for the nth time.
“Look, Woo bruised your pretty skin,” he sighed, running his fingers along the bruises on your hips. “He got too carried away.”
Hongjoong gently put you over his lap, hooking your legs over his thighs as he spread them apart, keeping you open to Wooyoung whose jaw was clenched so tightly and his eyes focused on just you.
Your husband could feel you leaning onto him, unable to hold yourself up from the exhaustion. You weakly shifted and wriggled, aching for friction, and the hybrid meters away was salivating and so willing to give you what you wanted.
As if to rub salt in the wound and his suffering, Hongjoong caressed your lower belly before his fingers found your swollen nub, more sweet moans that Wooyoung couldn’t get enough of leaving your lips. The mix of your arousal and Wooyoung’s cum made it easy for Hongjoong’s fingers to slide between your folds and massage your sensitive clit.
“My darling wants to cum?” Hongjoong kissed the crown of your head, moving his fingers in the way he knew would bring you to the edge.
You nodded, one of your hands moving to his hair as your hips pressed towards his hand.
“Oh, Joongie,” you sighed, eyes closing as you’re brought closer and closer to the orgasm you almost reached earlier.
“Wooyoung has a been a bad fox, darling. Touching what’s mine without my permission,” he stared at Wooyoung as he rubbed your clit, the hybrids ears drooping at the sight of you being pleasured by Hongjoong and not him. “He should be punished, don’t you think?”
Wooyoung’s eyes left your beautiful body momentarily at the word to look at Hongjoong with fear.
“Joongie, no…he’s been good—ah…”
Hongjoong kissed your cheek. “Maybe Wooyoung should tell me what he did and I’ll decide if he can cum one more time…”
Wooyoung inched closer, a small whine escaping his throat at the sweet scent of your sex. The damned collar around his neck reminded him how Hongjoong dominated him at this very moment and that if he disobeyed or made a wrong move, he won’t be able to touch you again or ever.
“Mommy was in pain s-so I helped.” Wooyoung enviously watched Hongjoong cup your swollen breast as he continued to play with your pussy.
“Mommy?” Hongjoong snickered at the way the hybrid addressed you. Who would’ve thought he would have a mommy kink?
Wooyoung blushed beneath Hongjoong’s degrading gaze. He swallowed the lump in his throat.
“Milk…she was hurting 'cause of the milk. Massaging made her feel better,” he tried to speak, unable to tear his eyes away from your body writhing and twitching with pleasure. “I didn’t want it to go to waste so I—,”
“How did it taste?” Hongjoong cut him off before kissing your neck, gently pinching and rolling your puffy nipple between his fingers, not halting his ministrations of your clit.
“J-joong,” you whimpered, feeling your core tighten as you neared your climax. The way he was speaking to Wooyoung as if he wasn’t playing with and pleasuring your body in front of your beloved hybrid, made you feel a different kind of arousal.
“Tastes good. So sweet…” Wooyoung admitted, his nails digging into his thighs as he watched your face contort erotically.
“You dirty pup,” Hongjoong clicked his tongue as he felt the way your thighs tensed and how your breathing fastened. He sped his fingers up and squeezed your breast, that piling tension in your core snapping as you reached your release.
You gasped and clutched at your husband’s hair, your head thrown back as your hips trembled and your body shivered from your orgasm.
Wooyoung held his breath as he saw how more slick dripped from your already abused pussy.
“That’s it, darling. Good girl,” Hongjoong whispered in your ear, letting you ride it out while the hybrid looked like a kicked puppy gazing at you.
Your husband pets your head lovingly, peppering gentle kisses along your neck and taking his hand off your breast, feeling the wetness that coated his fingers.
“Woo says your milk tastes sweet, baby. Did you let him drink your milk?”
You nodded your head weakly, nuzzling your face into your husband’s neck.
“It made you feel better?”
You nodded again.
Hongjoong hummed and brought his fingers to his lips, aware that Wooyoung was watching him then licked his digits, tasting your milk.
“He’s right baby,” he grinned. “You taste sweet. No wonder our Youngie got carried away. But…he’s still a bad fox. He told us he’d be able to handle his rut.”
“I’m sorry—.”
“But he couldn’t resist you, baby? I told you Wooyoung had a crush on you.” Hongjoong continued to tease the hybrid, amused at how dilated his eyes were and how stiff his cock was just staring at your cunt, almost drooling at the sight.
“Youngie doesn’t want to go to the hotel…” you mumbled, gaining little of your senses back.
“I know darling but if we’re going to be taking care of him when he goes into a rut, he’s going to have to behave…”
“I’ll behave, I swear!" Wooyoung blurted out, inching closer til he was knelt by the edge of the bed, just a couple of inches away from your dripping cunt. “I’ll be good.”
“I trusted you to be able to handle your rut alone when you said so,” Hongjoong went on, caressing your sides and kissing your neck. “But I came home to this…”
Wooyoung swallowed the lump in his throat and Hongjoong gripped his chin before brushing his two digits along the hybrid’s lips, the fingers that had been on your pussy.
“Be a good boy and lick her clean, and if I’m satisfied, I’ll let you fuck her again.”
Without hesitation, Wooyoung scooted closer and buried his face into your pussy, a shiver going down his spine as he heard your sweet mewling. He lapped happily at the taste of your release and a mix of his as well, and Hongjoong was pleased with his submission and eagerness.
“What do you say, baby?” Hongjoong turned his attention back on you now, knowing he could stop Wooyoung whenever he wanted to with a tug of his collar. “Can you take our sweet Youngie’s cock again? Look how hard he is for you.”
Through heavy-lidded eyes, you gazed at your beloved hybrid. His eyes were shut in bliss as he tasted you, his hot tongue attacking and invading your overstimulated pussy once again. Then your line of vision fell to his lap, his toned thighs flexing and his cock painfully stiff and leaking messily with pre-cum.
You nodded. “I-I can.”
“That’s my good girl.” He cooed and Wooyoung’s ears pointed up at the sound of your voice, his tail wagging excitedly at the thought of being buried in your tight heat again.
Hongjoong wasn’t entirely upset with Wooyoung. He has acknowledged and accepted the fact that the busy season was going to keep him in the office more than he liked but he always trusted Wooyoung to look after you when he’s away.
He pressed a tender kiss to your temple as he laid your head on the pillow while Wooyoung positioned himself between your legs, lining his cock to your pulsing hole once more.
With the baby coming along, he wouldn’t be able to be there as often as he liked to care for your hormonal needs…as much as he’d love to do so. He just needed to balance his time to be more present as the father of the baby and your husband but he didn’t particularly mind the idea of letting Wooyoung have you from time to time. He wasn’t blind to the affection Wooyoung had for you, he just needed to make sure that Wooyoung knows his place if Hongjoong decided on letting him into yours and his relationship.
What mattered to him was your happiness and your family...and that included Wooyoung.
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im sorry if this wasnt the best but yeah, 3 months worth of brain rot and business, I came up with this. Im still working on training wheels part 2 as well as continuing sway with me :> thank you so much for reading my works and your support!
tags : @songmingisthighs @bunny4yungi
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