#hello i am here once again offering conversations where there's almost closure but not really

[anthemxix]

There is something that I noticed while watching a game play of Hyrule warriors. Once You get the great fairy in the game but the way she fights is what got my angst side tickling. The way she fights is that she puts Link in a bottle and fights while he’s in the bottle, and once there’s a victory. The great fairy lets him out and you can clearly see his discomfort when she spins around him and such. Just something i noticed that i thought might be important for yah. :3

thank you so much for sending me this! it makes me so happy that you thought to share this with me. thank you ;w;

the whole getting-stuck-in-a-bottle thing is perfect for angst, and i was going to write something angsty, but then...this happened?? tl;dr for this fic is as follows~

hyrule: i don't like trapping fairies in bottles. warriors: yeah, getting trapped in a bottle sucks. hyrule: wait, what? warriors: what?

like that's it, that's the fic. also, wind is the problem child here because the fairies in WW look so sad after you catch them XD

Deep in the woods, the heroes find a sanctuary.

The densely-packed, straight-backed trees open up into a sunlit pocket, a secret glade undisturbed for centuries, where the air holds still like bated breath. Playing among the sunbeams, fluttering on filmy dragonfly wings, are dozens upon dozens of fairies.

Hyrule smiles fondly as he steps into the clearing, stretching out an arm in invitation. Several fairies, awash in a pastel pink glow, drift towards him and perch there like birds on a branch. A few more land on his shoulders; a couple snuggle into his nest of unruly hair.

“Oh, this is great!” Wind chirps. His voice seems unnaturally loud in the quiet, sacred space, and a handful of the fairies on Hyrule’s arm startle and flit away. The Traveler turns, prepared to admonish the Sailor for his volume, but he pales as he sees Wind, and several of the other heroes, fishing empty bottles from their bags.

Fairies’ healing magic is more potent than any potion, so Hyrule understands why the other heroes want it at their disposal; yet the idea of trapping one of these magnificent little creatures for days or weeks on end merely to exploit her generosity makes Hyrule uneasy. He knows what it’s like to be so small and helpless, and he can only imagine the horror of being imprisoned in a cramped bottle with nothing to do but breathe increasingly stale air and wait for freedom.

Hyrule holds out his other arm to offer refuge to more fairies; several more pink orbs alight on him without hesitation. Dismayed, he watches Wind ready his bottle and make a wild swing for a fairy. She bleats in alarm before zipping away.

His next target is not so lucky. Wind catches this fairy between his hand and the bottle, effectively jamming her inside.

“Sailor—,” Hyrule begins, but he cuts himself off as, to his surprise, Warriors clamps a firm hand on Wind’s shoulder and spins him around. He’s wearing the irritated scowl that’s usually reserved for Legend.

“What do you think you're doing?” the Captain snaps.

The triumph over a successful catch swiftly drains from Wind’s face. “What do you mean?”

“You have to be more careful,” Warriors chastises. “If you insist on detaining them, at least don't hurt them.”

“What? I would never—!” Pausing, Wind gives the cross-armed Captain a once-over, defensiveness dissipating in favor of curious realization. “Wait, why aren’t you grabbing any fairies…?”

Huh. Now that Hyrule considers it, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen Warriors with a bottled fairy of his own. He hadn’t realized the Captain, too, is sensitive to the plight of these little winged creatures.

Blatantly discounting the question, Warriors says, “Look, why don’t you let Time give you pointers on how to do this properly.”

Wind’s imminent protests visibly shrivel as his gaze follows to where Warriors points. Time stands peacefully in the middle of the glade, open bottle passively upheld; a fairy willingly flies inside and allows herself to be stowed in Time’s bag. Attention captured, Wind bounces over to Time without another word to Warriors.

Eyebrows raised in amusement, Hyrule relaxes. Wind hadn’t intended to mistreat the fairies, and his youthful vigor is disarming. He glances at Warriors, expecting to see a similarly amused expression on him, given the massive soft spot Warriors has for the kid, but Warriors isn’t looking at Wind or Time at all. Instead, he’s watching the others collect fairies with an expression Hyrule has never seen on him.

His irritation, it seems, was a knee-jerk reaction, a symptom masking the real problem, which apparently is…discomfort?

Hyrule watches as now, in the quiet, some fairies drift towards the Captain, languidly orbiting him or touching down on his shoulders. If he notices, he doesn’t acknowledge them, continuing to watch the other heroes with crossed arms and pursed lips, like he’s tasted something sour.

Stepping closer, Hyrule says, “Uh, h-hey. Captain?”

As if he’s forgotten Hyrule was standing nearby, Warriors startles, but he quickly composes himself, seamlessly transitioning to an air of detached, smoothed-over neutrality. “Yes?”

“You okay? You look a little, uh…spooked.”

“Of course.” He buries one hand in the folds of scarf around his neck. The lie is painfully obvious, though Hyrule isn’t certain if that’s a cue to keep pushing or to let this go.

Fortunately, he doesn’t need to decide. Warriors drops the hand from his scarf and instead hooks his thumbs onto his belt. He’s in his observational tactician mode, his posture and expression shuttered so that he gives nothing away, only takes in. “You know, I'm not as in-tune with magic as you or Legend, but I’ve always been able to sense the residue of fairy magic on you, Traveler. Why is that?”

The deflection is unexpected, Hyrule thinks, but he supposes he can’t call it unfair. Secrets are like anything else: earned, not free. So he barters.

“Yeah, it’s, um. It’s from…a spell I can cast.”

“What does it do?”

“Uh, well, it’s…” He swallows. Maybe he isn’t ready to divulge this particular secret in full. “It sort of…replicates fairy magic, you could say.”

Warriors looks like he wants to ask more; Hyrule jumps in before he can. “So you don’t like catching fairies, huh?”

He can almost see the same thought process flicker across Warriors’ face: get a secret, give a secret.

One hand trails up to his scarf—a nervous habit, Hyrule figures—but then drops to his side again. “I don’t like the idea of trapping them.”

“Neither do I,” Hyrule agrees.

Warriors’ gaze is fixed on the others again, on the bottles in their hands. His hand returns to his scarf, and this time he absently toys with it, mind preoccupied. “...I know what it’s like.”

“What…what’s like?”

“Being trapped like that.” His voice has gotten quieter, his gaze more faraway. “And no matter what you do, you can’t get out.”

“Oh...I...I'm sorry,” Hyrule fumbles, not sure what to say.

“No one took it seriously,” Warriors continues. He untangles his hand from his scarf, holds out a finger so one of the fairies on his shoulder can perch there instead. “I felt so small and helpless...but it was just a joke to everyone else.”

Hyrule shuffles uncomfortably, scrutinizing the somber way Warriors is looking at the fairy on his finger. “So, um...what...where were you...trapped, exactly?”

Warriors frowns, and for one hopeful moment, Hyrule thinks he’s going to get an answer. But then Wind is bounding over, chattering excitedly, earlier tensions seemingly forgotten. The fairies around Warriors flutter away in a cloud, and Time is gathering everyone up so they can keep moving.

Well. A half-truth exchanged for a half-truth. It’s a start, Hyrule supposes. At least it’s a start.

[buckyownsmylife]

Don't Breathe - Chris Evans smut

The one where your best friend and your boyfriend are fucking behind your back.

Warnings: smut, cheating, chris x your best friend, humiliation?, chris is an asshole in this, exhibitionism, the betrayal is real

Word count: 1.3k

A/N: this is sort of a companion piece to breathe, hence the same picture. While that one explores the extremes of loyalty, this one explores the extremes of betrayal. I also couldn't bring myself to create another moodboard. I wrote this story in one sitting, in the last anxiety episode I had and it helped me get to the place I am today - a better place than I was before, so while I'm grateful for it, I'm only publishing this to give myself some closure. I haven't edited it. I haven't asked anyone to beta read it for me because I simply can't look at it anymore. But it might help some of you, and it might even arouse some others (yes, there are people who have cheating kinks. Let's all be grown-ups and accept that sexuality is a complex and difficult thing. I won't accept kinkshaming in this blog). I only ask that you do not ask me about this story, how it came to be or any sort of part two's because I literally can't stand to look at it. Thanks, you guys!

“Bitch really has no idea, huh?” Chris chuckled as he welcomed his mistress on his lap, licking his lip at the sight of the voluptuous body on top of his. He’d been dreaming about it for a while now, imagining it was her he was fucking when she was away and he had to fuck his girlfriend.

“Not a clue.” He was a bastard, he knew it. He was a son of a bitch, a good for nothing. He didn’t deserve to ever be happy again, not after this, but he couldn’t come to regret it. Not when your best friend was rubbing her cunt against his dick so sensuously, tempting him with her full pout and big breasts.

“She’s always been dumb,” she commented, like she wasn’t speaking about the woman she claimed to love more than anything in the world. Maybe that should have worried Chris, but for whatever reason, it just made him harder.

He really wasn’t worth shit.

“Can’t even figure out that every time we disappear at a party, I’m really just sucking your dick.” Chris chuckled as he buried his thumb on her mouth, chuckle turning into a groan as the beautiful woman twirled her tongue around his digit.

“I mean, this was how it started, wasn’t it, baby?” He reminded her. “You ditched her in the middle of the club to meet me in the bathroom and offer some help with the package I’d been hiding in my pants… Didn’t even have the time to doubt it before you were dropping to your knees and crawling towards me.”

The little vixen smirked at the memory, face suddenly lighting up as she let go of my dick to get out of bed. “Hey!” He complained, still smiling because he could see she was up to no good. “Where are you going?”

She had my phone in her hands when she climbed back to bed, a perfectly plucked eyebrow high in her forehead as she typed away in it. He’d never let you learn the password but what could he possibly hide from his mistress?

“Call her.” It wasn’t as much a request as it was a statement, since when she threw the phone on his chest, it was already ringing. A panicked look broke free on his face before he shook his head, smirking at her insanity.

Goddamn it if it didn’t make him harder than he’d ever been before.

“Hello?” Your sweet voice was the perfect dichotomy to the act he was partaking in, and he had to bite his lip so you wouldn’t figure out what was happening as your best friend leaned over his cock to take it in her mouth.

“Hey, honey,” Chris greeted, trying to keep his voice as smooth as possible. He could totally do this. He was an actor, after all.

“Is something wrong?” You questioned, and for a second both him and your friend froze, fearing you’d heard something. “You just left, I figured you wouldn’t call me until tomorrow.”

Chris chuckled lightly at your innocence - and the clear happiness you felt at him deciding to call so soon. He already knew what to say to plunge the knife even deeper into you.

“Oh, you know…” He trailed off, biting his lip again as your best friend swallowed his cock. “Just missed you.” He didn’t miss the smirk on her eyes. She didn’t need to speak or even stop sucking him for him to know that she was enjoying this, so he kept going, entertaining you with mindless conversation until you remembered you actually had to call her.

“Oh, I promised I’d call her… We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?” You assured him, blissfully unaware of the betrayal you were suffering. “Bye, baby. I love you.” You disconnected the call before he could even lie about that too, but a few minutes later her phone began ringing.

She was still giggling when she picked up, now having stopped sucking him to rub her tight wet cunt against him again, teasing them both. “Bitch, you’ll never guess,” she greeted as soon as you said hello, and just as you asked what was up, she lowered herself down on Chris’ cock.

Your man’s cock. While she was talking to you. “I’m fucking someone right at this second.” He could hear your stunned silence, but you knew your friend had always been crazy - especially sexually.

It was the difference between the two of you that made him so obsessed.

“And he doesn’t mind?” You asked, clearly surprised, and Chris almost laughed when your best friend answered, “Oh, no. He gets off on it. Would you mind staying in line and listening for a bit? He’d really enjoy it.”

You hesitated only for a moment before agreeing, and that’s when she allowed herself to moan out loud. “God, what a fucking dick!” She cursed, fingernails gripping his pecks as she rode him for dear life. “I swear to god, you have no idea how it feels like to be fucked like this.”

You remained silent. Chris could almost picture it, the way you had one fingernail in your mouth, chewing on it as you tried to decide between keeping your promise and listening to your best friend fucking (your) man or leaving the phone on and going to do the laundry.

You were such a perfect girlfriend. So devoted, everything Chris should marry. His family loved you - hell, he thought he loved you. And here he was, fucking your best friend while you listened to her moans of pleasure.

He felt her eyes trailing down his body and he already knew what she wanted. They were a perfect match in bed. He manhandled her onto her stomach, knowing you were listening to her surprised scream and loud moan as he penetrated her from behind.

“So, so good…” She moaned. Chris had no doubt her eyes were rolling to the back of her head. “Would you ever stop fucking me, baby?” She teased, making Chris chuckle, knowing the sounds of his hips slapping against her full ass were drowning his voice from you. “Would you ever stop fucking my tight little pussy?”

He leaned over her, body completely enclosing hers in bed when he gripped her jaw to whisper in her ear. “Not a chance in hell.” Her delighted moan made it all worthy to him. He pulled out of her to turn her around once more, spreading her legs so he could have a taste of her pussy.

Eyes connected, he watched her reach for the phone and take it off the speaker so she could talk to you properly. “This guy eats pussy like a pro,” she informed you while Chris grinned between her legs, her fingers tangled in the strands of your boyfriend’s hair. “And he tells me it’s the best pussy he has ever had, don’t you, baby?”

Chris could only nod, obsessed with the taste of her sweet pussy on his tongue, the loud sounds of slurping undoubtedly reaching you. He could only imagine how you were feeling, confused and maybe a little bit aroused. It was like sound porn, after all - and it was starred by your very own boyfriend, but you had no idea.

He hummed against her pussy. You could never taste as sweet, try as you might. Even her painted lips tasted better, and he knew it wasn’t because of the lipstick she wore since you two often shared.

She moaned loudly when he shoved two fingers inside of her, having memorized her sweet spot ages ago, when this still made him feel bad and he’d often hurl when he got home to find you in bed, waiting for him.

And yet, he couldn’t stop. He waited for her to turn off the call so he could climb back up her body, kissing every inch of the way until he was buried deep inside her tight pussy again.

“You make me crazy,” he whispered, knowing this would never be enough. He would never get his fill of her. He might love you in one way or another, but he wanted her, and he would never let her go.

[karimjohnson]

Cherry: Don’t You Call Him Baby?

Hey guy! Sorry that I have been MIA as usual lol. I have been busy with work and working overtime. I’m trying my best to stay updated with my writing. I also am in the process of writing some more preferences with Harry and some other people out there that you all may enjoy. The Fine Line preferences are my number one that I’m focusing on right now before I write anything else. I would love for you all to tell me what you would like me to write about outside of the Fine Line preferences. I want to include my readers in anything I can. So feel free to message me with suggestions or anything else you would like to see from me. Thank you for reading! Hope everyone is well! Much Love -K 

Summary: You and Harry broke up about two months ago. You are finally stable enough to go back out into the world and discover yourself. You find yourself in a new relationship even if he is not Harry. You end up finding out that your best friend got a text from Harry asking about you. One night, you run into him and decide that made a meet up with Harry wouldn’t be so bad. It could bring you closure. But what happens when he starts asking questions about your new relationship. 

Pairing: Harry x Reader

Rated: PG

Masterlist

After a whole year of dating, it’s hard to get back on your feet. I was so upset leaving him, but I had to do what was best for me. It broke me. He was broken too, but I’m sure he will move on better than I have. It has been a couple months since the break-up happened. I was slowly making my way back out into the world. I hid for weeks on end with my family. I was struggling trying to find a place to live and start over after getting my things out of his house.

 I have moved on and found another guy named Anthony. He is sweet and understanding. He has helped me in many ways after the break-up and has been very patient with me. The only thing that bothers me about him, is he isn’t Harry. I try so hard not to compare them because it isn’t fair to Anthony. I appreciate Anthony for everything he has done for me and I think he deserves a chance. I’m moderately happy with him and I don’t want to hurt him.

 My friend Amy asked me to go with her to shop for her new apartment, I happily accepted the invitation. It would help get my mind off things with Anthony and I. It would definitely help get Harry off my mind for a while too. Plus, Amy understood where I was coming from. She helped me through my break up with Harry too. She was there for the hardest days of them all. All the crying, not getting out of bed, and not eating. She took care of me because she understands it. She has gone through it too and I was there for her in those darkest hours. I appreciated her more than anything else.

I waited for her to pick me up from my apartment patiently. I played around with my hair for a little bit and chose to wear it down. I did a little bit of make-up but nothing dramatic. I decided to wear some nice blue jeans and light pink sweater. I put on my white converses and packed up my purse when I finally got a text that she was outside. I double checked the apartment to make sure everything was off and to make sure I had everything I needed. I then locked up my apartment and headed downstairs to her car. I waved as I walked out and climbed in. “I missed you,” she spoke as she leaned over and hugged me. I hugged her back, “I missed you too. I’m sorry I have been so busy with work that I just lose track of time and I’ve been wanting to hang out.”

We made some small talk and laughed on our way over to the furniture store she wanted to look at. When we got there, Amy was telling me about how she wanted her apartment set up. She was showing me ideas that she found on Pinterest. She also showed me how the apartment was set up so we knew where she wanted everything. She had measurements in her notes so we had everything down to a T. I loved helping decorate people’s homes. It was my job after all. So she did make a good call on asking me to come with her and help her out with everything. As we roamed around, she started picking things out and asking me how this or that would look. I would agree with a lot of it. Other things were just a little off, so I would pick something out to help her put it all together.

 “So how are you and Anthony doing,” she asked as we walked around in the lamp isle. I bit my bottom lip while looking the opposite direction at some of the lamps. I was anticipating this conversation. I knew she was only asking because Anthony and I had only been together for about two months now. We wanted to take things slow. We didn’t live together, but we would take turns staying with one another. I lived with Harry after six months into the relationship. So I wasn’t going to make that mistake again. Anthony understood that. “We are good. He is working today so I won’t see him until tonight,” I said nonchalantly.

I could feel Amy’s eyes on me, “What are you all doing tonight,” she asked curiously. I shrugged, “I think he wanted to go to the local pub for a couple of drinks. You and Jason should come.” I looked to her with a sweet smile. Jason was our other friend. He helped me through the break up with Harry too. He took me out on some breakfast dates and lunch dates to help my appetite start up again. He and Amy were my guardian angels when it came to loneliness. “That could be fun. We will have to call him later,” she smiled to me and stopped in front of some lamps that caught her eye. I stopped with her and looked at them with her.

“How have you been mentally,” she asked peeking over at me. I looked at her with my head tilted and my brows furrowed. “I’ve been alright I suppose. Just going through the motions. Get up, shower, eat, go to work, come home, and eat. I usually call Anthony and talk to him if we are too busy during the week to see one another,” I say as I pull away from the lamp I was looking at. “I think this would look really good with the couch you picked out,” I say looking to her with a grin. I was trying to avoid her bringing up Harry. I know that she wouldn’t bring him up on purpose, but it felt like she was hinting at him in particular and I didn’t understand why.

Once we finished up shopping, we loaded her car up and decided to grab some lunch together. We decided on a cute little café in the downtown area. We were sitting in a booth next to a window. We talked about work and how her dating life was going. Which, from what she has told me wasn’t going too great, but she wasn’t too worried about dating at the moment. I ended up getting lost in the conversation as I looked out the window we were sitting next to and spotting a man’s jacket that looked like something Harry would wear. I suppose the look on my face changed as I looked at it because Amy pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Hello Y/N? Are you there,” she snapped her fingers causing me to turn my head towards her. “Oh I’m so sorry Amy. I got a little distracted,” I smiled apologetically. She nodded and looked at what had me so distracted. “Have you been thinking about him lately,” she asked looking back to me. I knew she was going to say something sooner or later. I looked down and leaned back into the booth. “Not really,” I said trying to not give anything away. “Come on Y/N,” she sighed looking at me with narrowed eyes. She saw right through me. She was my best friend after all. I could never hide anything from her. I was an open book to her. “Sort of. But it’s not like that Amy. Why are you so concerned about it anyway,” I asked taking a drink of my water.

She looked down like she was guilty of something. Like she was hiding something from me. Almost as if she knew something that I didn’t. “Look, I wasn’t going to bring it up. Jason even told me not to, but I can’t keep it from you,” she sighed looking back up at me. “Harry texted me asking about how you are doing,” she said the words and I choked on my water. She brought a napkin up from the table and offering it to me. I took it and wiped my mouth with it. “He what? What did you say to him,” I asked baffled by her confession. “I just told him that you were doing fine. That’s it. Nothing more and nothing less,” she said trying to calm me down.

 My anxiety was pumping through my veins. Why did he text her? Why was he concerned about me? Why did he ask about me? “Listen, just relax. That’s all I told him. I guess he was looking for information, but I didn’t tell him anything else. Or he just wanted to check on you,” she said calmly and I felt my mind wonder. “Is that why you asked me to come with you today,” I asked feeling myself growing upset. She shook her head, “No, of course not. I wanted to see you. I wanted to take you out and I wanted your professional help with my apartment. I planned on telling you the day he texted but it was too soon. You were out with Anthony and I didn’t want to spoil your night with Harry.” I nodded and looked down. I knew she meant well. I knew that she wasn’t going to inform Harry on anything unless she needed to tell him anything.

 After our lunch, we went to her apartment to start setting up her furniture. I got slightly quiet after our lunch. I was still baffled that Harry had the nerve to text my best friend about me. Amy tried to lighten the mood when I was seeming to lose my focus. I would laugh it off as if nothing bothered me. As the day went on, we decided to meet up with everyone at my apartment. I wasn’t going to dress up for our night out. I was going to wear what I was already wearing. Amy had called Jason, who happily agreed to go out with us. I had told Anthony to meet us here and we would all uber back to my apartment. I figured everyone can crash here and not have to drive home. Everyone agreed with my plan and we all headed out for the night.

______________________________________________________________ 

We got to the bar and found a booth to share. A waitress came over and took our drink order while we all got into catching up. After a while, some of Anthony’s friends showed up and talked him into a few rounds of pool. “You okay if I play for a bit,” he asked looking at me with glossy eyes. I nodded, “Of course baby. Go have fun. I have Amy and Jason to keep me company,” I smiled to him sweetly. He leaned over and kissed my cheek before heading towards the pool tables. I was feeling a little tipsy by now anyway and I was feeling a little bit out of my thoughts. “So, Amy told me that she told you about the text. Are you okay,” Jason asked looking at me biting his bottom lip worried about my reaction.

I nodded, “Yeah, I’m alright. I was just shocked really and so many questions were running through my mind. I just don’t understand why he was asking about me.” I looked to them as I took a drink of my beer. “Maybe he is feeling down like you were,” Amy suggested. “But after two months, he is reaching out to you about me,” I gave them a questioning look. “Guys take longer to process their emotions after break ups,” Jason sighed sitting back against the booth. I shrugged, “I suppose. But it’s still odd don’t you think?” They shrugged and I looked over to Anthony taking his turn in pool to drop the subject. That’s when I noticed Amy and Jason sit up in their seats with worried glances.

I looked to them, “What is it?” I asked concerned and started looking around. That’s when I saw him. Harry had walked in with his friends laughing and heading towards the bar. I quickly ducked down in the booth and looked to my friends. “Shit, what the hell is he doing here,” Jason said to us. “I don’t know. We have to hide Y/N or something,” she stated looking to Jason. “Oh yeah? How do you expect to do that with four of us here,” Jason asked getting pissed now that Harry was here. “Guys, we need to calm down for a second. We are in a local pub. Everyone is going to come here. I mean, we are bound to run into anyone and everyone. We have to just pretend we didn’t see him and just keep our distance from him. Anthony isn’t going to let him come near me if he sees Harry. I know you guys won’t either. So, act like you don’t notice him,” I whispered from my ducking position. “I’m going to sit up and pretend that we didn’t see him. Act natural,” I say as I slowly sit up in my seat and take another drink finishing off my beer.

 We all tried talking about something random, while Jason would take small glances here and there in Harry’s direction. I would glance over at Anthony here and there to see if he noticed Harry. I don’t think he did because he was drunk and cutting up with his friends. The waitress that we had earlier came up to our table again. We all looked to her confused because we didn’t order anymore drinks. “Hi, this handsome guy over at the bar wanted me to bring you this beer and a note to you,” she smiled to me and placed both in front of me. I furrowed my brows and looked to Amy and Jason. “T-Thank you,” I say to the waitress and she walked off to cater to other people. I grabbed the note and slowly opened it. ‘Meet me tomorrow at the café around 9 a.m. Please? -H’.

I looked over to the bar to see Harry watching me and a small smile on his face. He did a small wave to me and I turned back to my friends. “What does it say,” Amy asked concerned. “He wants me to meet him at the café in the morning,” I say nervously. “Are you going to,” she asked looking at me worried. “You don’t have to if you don’t want,” Jason said trying to calm me down. I thought for a second. Did I want to go? Did I want to see Harry? What would we even say or talk about? Should I go? “Maybe… maybe it’s for closure. He may need closure and I know that I need closure too,” I said softly. They both sighed and looked at each other. “If that’s what you want. But how are you going to explain that to Anthony? We are all crashing at your place tonight,” Jason reminded me. Fuck. I almost forgot about that.

“Jason, would you maybe distract him in the morning when I leave? Take him out to do something. We can all leave around the same time. That way it looks normal,” I suggest. They nod and think for a minute. “I will handle getting Anthony out for the day,” he agreed. I felt a little better that he said yes to the plan. “You come straight to my apartment after you leave the café. That way if something is said or it doesn’t go well for you, Anthony won’t see,” Amy suggested. I nodded at the sound of that. It was a good plan. I reached for the beer Harry bought me and sat back thinking about tomorrow now. After a while longer, we all were ready to leave the bar. Jason called the uber while Amy and I got Anthony’s attention. Before leaving, I turned back to see Harry watching us.

______________________________________________________________

The next morning, I woke up at 8 in the morning. I rolled over to see Anthony sleeping peacefully next to me. I smiled to myself and started to feel slightly guilty for meeting up with Harry. I sighed to myself and slowly got out of bed to start getting ready for the day. I took a quick shower and dried my hair throwing on some leggings and a big sweater. I decided against putting make-up on just in case today doesn’t go well. I slid on my black vans and grabbed my purse walking into the kitchen. Amy was already up with Jason in the kitchen. “Good morning,” Amy smiled to me and waved me over to her side.

I moved to her side and wrapped my arms around her. “Good morning,” I whispered. We heard some shuffling coming from my bedroom knowing it was probably Anthony getting up and getting dressed. “How are you feeling,” Amy asked softly. “I’m alright. Just sort of nervous is all,” I sigh feeling anxious all over again. “It’s going to be fine,” Jason promised as he smiled to me. Anthony then appeared out of my room with a warm smile. “Good morning guys,” he said waving to Amy and Jason. He walked towards me and pulled me into his embrace. I smiled and laid my head on his chest. I was scared to look into his eyes with all this emotion running through my body. “Where did you say we were going again Jason,” Anthony asked as he held me.

“We are going to this cool shop outside of town. I think you will really enjoy it. Some coworkers of mine were talking about it yesterday,” Jason said with a smile. “What are you two going to do while we are out,” Anthony asked me, and I finally had the courage to look at him. “I’m going to run a few errands around town while Amy waits for her mattress and couch to be delivered. Then I’m going to head over there to help her with the rest of apartment,” I smile to him feeling bad for lying only a little bit. He nodded and smiled, “Well let’s hit the road,” he smirked and kissed my forehead. We all head out the door being sure to lock up on our way out. We all say bye and head our separate ways.

 As I drove towards the café, my stomach began to twist and turn. I was nervous as hell to see his face again. To just have his eyes on me. I was feeling a tad bit nauseous as I pulled into the parking lot. I scanned the parking lot for his car and finally spotted it. He wasn’t in it, so he must be inside waiting on me. I looked at the time and it was 8:50. I took a big deep breath and shut off the car heading for the café doors. I walked in and I easily spotted him in a corner booth by the window. I slowly made my way towards the booth feeling like I should just run and leave him there. But I didn’t want to be rude. Maybe this will help the both of us.

I approached the table to see a tired looking Harry. “Good morning love,” he said in a raspy tone. My heart swelled in my chest as he motioned me to sit down. I took a seat across from him and bit my bottom lip nervously. I took in his appearance from across the table. His hair was all tousled. His shirt was slightly wrinkled, and he seemed to be wearing jeans. He looked like a proper mess. “Good morning,” I say softly. “I appreciate you meeting with me. I order you tea,” he nodded to the cup in front of me. I smiled and nodded, “Thank you. Why exactly did you want to meet me?” He moved around uncomfortable in his seat for a moment. I brought the cup up to my lips and took as sip trying to let him gather his thoughts.

“I wanted to see you and maybe talk about some things,” he finally found the proper words to say. I nodded for him to continue. “I-I texted Amy about you a couple of weeks ago and she didn’t say much. Just that you were fine. Last night, I saw you and I just… I just wanted to come talk to you, but you seemed to be doing great. I didn’t want to spoil your time with your friends. So, I sent a note to the waitress and a beer for you. Hoping you would agree to meeting me,” he looked at me and then down. I sat back a little and watched him carefully. “Who was the other guy you were with,” he asked grabbing his cup to take a drink.

I looked away from our table feeling guilty again. “H-he’s my boyfriend,” I finally say and meet his eyes. They were filled with pain and something else I couldn’t quite place. “I suppose Amy told you I texted didn’t she,” he asked and shifted in his seat again this time he seemed irritated. “Yeah, she told me yesterday,” I said watching his demeaner change. He smirked a little and nodded looking in his cup of tea. “How did you… move on,” he asked softly. I felt my heart in my throat. I didn’t move on. I was just going through the motions of our break up. I was still having trouble moving on and look where that got me. I wanted to say that. But how could I?

“I-I was really bad after the break-up. Amy and Jason had to help me past it. I can’t say that I’m fully over you Harry. You and I were together for a whole year. But you decided that this is what you wanted. I didn’t want this for us. I’m curious as to why you reached out to my friends and not me,” I stated trying to hold onto my emotions. He furrowed his brows at me and then looked away. “I miss you okay? Is that what you want to hear? That’s why I asked your friends about you,” he started sounding a little hoarse now. He wasn’t giving me enough to process all of this. I sighed and took another drink.

“Do you call him baby,” he finally spoke up. I looked up at him to meet his eyes. “What,” I asked looking at him confused by his question. “Do you call him what you used to call me? Have you met his parents yet,” he asked again as his eyes glazed over with tears and jealously. “Harry,” I said to him sternly. “I miss you and I still love you. I shouldn’t have let you go. I know that’s selfish of me, but I don’t know how to be without you,” he choked out and a tear slid down his face. I was baffled by his mood swings. I felt my heart clench in my chest and the tears welling up in my eyes. I looked away from him trying to hold it all together. “Y-you’re right… it is selfish of you to ask those things Harry. But you chose this. You wanted this. I didn’t… remember that. I have to go… I can’t do this right now…,” I said trying to gather my things from the booth with tears spilling out.

“Do you love him,” he asked stopping me and I looked over at him sniffling. “It’s been two months Harry… no I don’t… But doesn’t he deserve a chance,” I asked feeling my heart break at admitting I didn’t love Anthony. Harry sighed and sniffled nodding, “If you had to choose… Me or Him,” he asked again. I felt my breath hitch in my throat and I couldn’t swallow it down. “I-I…,” I couldn’t find the words anymore. “You don’t have to decide now… but please text me or call me as soon as you do…,” he spoke with tears still rolling out of his eyes. I looked at him one last time and stormed out of the café. I was sobbing now. I ran to my car and slammed the door shut. I started screaming and hitting the streeling wheel. Finally, I just rested my head against the wheel. How could he make me choose? Why did he do that?

I gathered myself enough to text Amy and start driving. It was silent in the car. Just me and every word spoken at the café between Harry and I. As I got to Amy’s apartment, my body felt numb and tears were still rolling down my face. I didn’t even need to knock on her door to let me in. She was waiting for me and pacing as I approached her apartment. “Y/N? Oh my god,” she pulled me into a tight hug and I just broke down again. She gently pulled me inside her apartment and sat me down on the couch. “What happened,” she asked as she held me in her arms. “H-he… he asked me questions about Anthony… he asked me to choose between them Amy… I don’t know what to do,” I said looking to her.

She sighed and looked down thinking for a moment. “Do you love Harry,” she asked me directly. I thought for a moment in hopes I wouldn’t be judged for my answer. “Y-yes…,” I whispered. “Do you love Anthony,” she asked and watched for a moment. I shook my head no unable to say the words a loud. “What does your heart want Y/N,” she asked and all I could think about was how Harry looked this morning. How he looked last night at the bar. My heart began to melt and my tears flowed. “Then it’s him Y/N… It’s Harry… and that’s okay… if it’s meant to be then maybe this is why it all happened this way. You need to tell Anthony and you need to tell Harry…,” she spoke softly and I nodded. “Can I just cry for a little while,” I asked laying my head down on her lap. “Yes,” she whispered combing my hair with her fingers. I laid there feeling a weight being lifted off my shoulders. It was Harry… it was always Harry.

[mysingularitybts]

Glances a Jung Hoseok One-Shot

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x famous!reader

Genre: romance, 

Warnings: none 

Here I was at another big fancy event. Don't get me wrong it was an amazing opportunity and it showed how far I had come in my career. I was honored to be invited to the Variety Hitmakers Brunch, yet I detested how snotty everyone here was.

All award shows of sorts were always the same thing, people bragging about what they won. It seems they forget the reason we are here is to celebrate the music that has the power to change many people's lives. Even the dirtiest songs have the power to help a person. Music can lift people's moods, give them closure, become their relationship songs, give warmth to a romantic moment. Music is always in our lives one way or another making every moment better. It's why it's so crucial in moviemaking. It sets the mood and without it, everything would be much less anticlimactic and boring.

Back to the point at hand, it's not so much the artists who I frown upon, it's the people behind them. Managers and CEO's, they suck the life out of events treating it like a business (which it is for them). Their greedy eyes looking for the next collaboration, for the next hit. They whisper in your ears making you think it's your idea, but it's not. It's all part of their master plan to make more money, to make you do most of the work. Having barely any regard for your health or wants or needs.

I don't want to say it's like I describe all the time because it's not, but a lot of them are like that. I'm one of the lucky few who got a good team behind them. It was no easy task though I failed many times and people failed me, somehow, I managed to get through it. I had my family and friends to pick me up every time I fell and made a mistake. Eventually, I found my amazing manager Carly and she led me to my amazing record label.

It's been five years since I've been in the music industry officially. It all started when I was 16 and had a dream of becoming a successful singer. How naïve I was thinking it was just going to be me signing to my heart's content. HA! It was eventually, but first I had to learn to produce, to practice singing, and to practice dancing. I had to face failure every time my CEO said she didn't like my new song or theme. Having to start over again to come out with something that satisfied her. After finally coming out with an album I loved with all my heart and it being a success I also had to face a lot of hatred and as a 17-year-old girl, it hits you hard. Other than the hatred I also had to manage my personal life and learn to adapt to a new way of life.

It's all in the past now. I learned how to ignore the hate to my best ability. I learned to focus on the fans that loved my work. To hear them out and become even better. There were a lot of things that happened in between, but I like to think they don't matter anymore as long as I learned my lesson. Although my dream to become a singer was very different from what I imagined, I didn't regret it one bit. It led me to where I was right now receiving an award for artist of the year at the Vanity Hitmakers Brunch.

Walking around with Carly leading the way I saw a lot of my colleagues and friends. Depending on what they were doing whether that was being interviewed or simply talking amongst each other I'd wave hello or stop and talk to them. These award things could be reunions between friends since it was hard at times to meet up with everybody since we were all on tour or filming or in different parts of the globe. It was one of the reasons I still came to these events the other reason being the fans. I owed them my success so if seeing me in an award show made them happy then I would go. I would also fangirl over other artists. Can you blame me? I'm only a human that likes listening to people's music.

As I walked around, I saw Billie Eilish, an amazing artist I collaborated with a few months ago. I liked her since she also saw the truth behind this industry, we had an understanding about it and that made us bond. I could only wave since she was in a conversation with one of the organizers of the awards.

As I kept walking and looking around my eyes landed on seven gorgeous men. My jaw dropped not only because of their beauty but because of who they were. It was none other than BTS. My heart raced; I have been a fan of their music since practically the beginning. How did I not know they were going to be here? I've always wanted to meet them, but we never coincided on any past award shows because for some reason every time they went, I had something else going on. I hated myself for it.

With sweaty palms, I debated on going over to them. I mean they were probably busy talking to somebody else yet nobody was approaching them. They even seem bored. Why was that? They were an amazing band that everybody wanted to collaborate with or be seen with. It just didn't make sense. Maybe it was the language barrier? It could be since not many American artists knew Korean.

With that thought in mind, I hung my head in defeat since I didn't know Korean either. Disappointed I turned around to leave when I almost slapped myself across the face in realization. One of them knows English surely with his help you could get the point across that you were a huge fan and not only that, but this dumb bitch also knows Korean.

How could I forget I know a whole other language is beyond me, but it happened. Thank you Nari for teaching me. Nari is my best friend we have known each other since preschool and are still very close. Her parents moved to the United States from Korea when she was still just a baby.

While I was in school my parents often were not around much so the Seong family took care of me until they got off work. Thus, I learned the Korean language and a bit of its culture. Plus, I gained a whole other family who I love very much.

Shaking my thoughts away I began walking over to them. My hands trembling in excitement, my inner fangirl begging to come out. I kept her locked up though because I did not want to make a fool out of myself. As I got closer, I saw Jimin look my way from his spot on one of the sofas that were around the tents.

When I got to where they were, they all stopped talking between themselves and looked up at me. Eyes wide not knowing what to expect.

With a gulp, I bowed and with a trembling voice said in Korean, "Hello, my name is y/n and I am a huge fan of your work." I crossed my fingers hoping my Korean didn't fail me.

With anxiousness, I waited for their response. Suddenly it vanished as Jungkook smiled up at me, stood up and shook my hand.

"Hello y/n, I'm Jeon Jungkook I'm glad you enjoy our work." He said smiling brightly at me.

I almost fainted seeing as 1/7 of BTS was standing in front of me shaking my hand. I was never going to wash my hand again. Gathering my wits, I kept on smiling as the introductions kept going around.

Once all introductions were done, which I think weren't necessary, they made a space for me to sit with them.

"I got to say I didn't expect anybody here to speak our language," Yoongi said from his seat as he looked at me.

"Oh, I only know because of my best friend. She's also Korean and taught me everything I know," I explained, "If I say anything wrong, blame her," I finished joking.

"No, you are doing very well, your friend did a good job," Hoseok said from his spot beside me.

"I have to say I am also a big fan of your music," he then said abashedly.

"Really?!" I said surprised not expecting them to know much about my music.

"Yeah, he has followed your music for about two years now," Taehyung exclaimed as he shot Hoseok a teasing smile.

"He even has a collection of your albums," Jin blurted out trying to get the point across.

"Yah, stop it you are embarrassing me," Hoseok told them, trying to play it cool and hide his blushing face.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about. It makes me so happy that you enjoy my music!" I honestly said holding my hands close to my heart.

It was one thing to meet your idols but for them to also know your music is another level. I felt proud of myself since I looked up to them and their work.

We sat in the middle of the tent talking to our heart's content for a while. I was glad I had the guts to talk to them seeing as they no longer looked so serious or bored. I guess they were just a little lonely and wanted some company. Talking to them felt easy. I thought it would be a bit more awkward, but I was proven wrong. They knew how to hold a conversation. We talked about everything from their upcoming music to my music, to the places we've traveled, and about the awards in itself. There was never a boring moment; they made everything entertaining or interesting.

It was when we were laughing loudly about something Jimin said that my manager came to tell me it was time to go find our seats since the ceremony would begin shortly. With a disappointed sigh, I went to stand up and say goodbye to BTS.

"Well, guys I guess this is goodbye," I started saying sadly, "It was great meeting you, I hope I get to see you again."

"I hope so too," Taehyung said enthusiastically, "I had a lot of fun talking to you."

I looked at them as I bid my farewells. When I got to Hoseok he looked as if he wanted to tell me something but couldn't bring himself to.  Yoongi, noticing his reaction, took matters into his own hands.

"Hey y/n, how about we take a picture to remember this day?" he asked, offering a smile.

"Let's do it!" I responded.

They all stood up and got into position. It was Jungkook, Jimin, Taehyung, Namjoon, me, Hoseok, Yoongi, and Jin. I felt as Namjoon wrapped an arm around my shoulders and Hoseok partially wrapped his arm around my waist not quite touching me. Something strange happened to me as I felt very aware of his body heat, touch, and the smell of his cologne.

Once the pictures were taken, I felt disappointed as he stepped away from me. Disregarding those thoughts, I shook my head and bid them goodbye once again. I couldn't believe I had met BTS wait until I told Nari. She is going to freak out and ask me all kinds of questions. I would be able to fangirl with her, but until then I'd have to hold it in.

The awards went, as usual, I cheered on my fellow friends and colleagues, yet I cheered a little louder for my new friends BTS, they truly deserved the award. As someone who has seen them from the beginning, I could say they worked very hard to get to where they are now and had been through some tough times. Not only did they manage to become successful in Korea, but they also paved the way for many Korean artists to get recognized in the United States.

Once the awards ended and all the photoshoots and speeches were done, I found myself walking to the back entrance of the building to get to the SUV waiting for me. My feet were killing me making my back hurt, the makeup on my face felt uncomfortable, and not to mention the dress I was wearing got scratchier the more I had it on.

Deep into my thoughts, I didn't hear a voice calling out to me until Carly nudged her elbow into my side. I looked at her questioningly and she pointed over to the man walking over to me his dimpled smile being a welcoming sight.

"Oh, sorry Namjoon I didn't hear you, what's up?" I spoke as I stopped walking waiting for him to catch up.

"Don't worry, it happens to all of us, I wanted to ask if you were going to the after-party?" he asked as he tilted his head in question. It was a cute sight not going to lie.

"No, I'm not a big fan of after-parties they get too wild," I explained.

"In that case, would you like to meet up with us in a few hours after we get out of here?" he eagerly asked "We are not big fans either of American after-parties. They get awkward for us because of the language barrier," he finished saying.

"I understand," I told him reassuringly, "Count me in."

"We'll stay at our hotel and celebrate there. I'll send you the address," he stated, giving me a smile, his eyes closing at the same time.

"I'll see you there!"

"One more thing!" He exclaimed, "Come in comfortable clothes it'll just be us hanging out, no need for fancy clothing," he then finished explaining seeing my confused face.

"Even better, this dress has been getting more uncomfortable the more I wear it," I said relieved that I wouldn't have to dress up again.

It was fun dressing up, but it got uncomfortable quickly.

"See you later?" Namjoon asked one more time as he started walking away.

"Definitely," I replied as I waved him goodbye.

As soon as I got to my apartment, I took a quick shower and changed into a pair of high waisted leggings and a cropped hoodie. I didn't do much with my makeup, just applied some tinted moisturizer, did my eyebrows, applied some mascara, and some lip balm. Trust me compared to what I was wearing earlier this was nothing. As I got ready Namjoon sent me a text with the address of the hotel and what time I should get there. Luckily the hotel wasn't that far, and I had about an hour to spare. So, I did the only reasonable thing. I took a nap. After my nap, I realized it was time to go.

When I arrived at the hotel, I quickly made my way up to the room Namjoon told me about. As I got closer to the door, I heard a lot of loud voices, yup, I was definitely in the right place.

I knocked on the door and waited for somebody to open it. I didn't have to wait long when Hoseok confusedly opened the door.

"Y/n?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah? Hi Hoseok," I greeted smiling up at him.

"I didn't know you were coming," he confessed, still looking confused.

"Oh, I invited her," Namjoon began saying, "I guess I forgot to tell you, Sorry Hobi."

"Yah Hoseok let her in already," Jin yelled from his place on the sofa.

Hurriedly Hoseok got out of the way and gestured me in. I walked inside and noticed they were all dressed comfortably too in Jeans and their signature Hoodies. As I looked around somebody ran up to me and engulfed me in a hug. When they stepped back, I realized it was Taehyung.

"Hi, Taehyung!" I greeted him.

"Y/n I'm so glad you're here!" he said excitedly, "I was getting bored with these people around." He then said seriously.

I started laughing when I heard a hurt "Hey!" from Jimin.

Unbeknownst to me, Taehyung was sending Hoseok a teasing smile as he glared at him not liking the proximity between us.

"What were you guys up to?" I asked curiously.

"Nothing much we were going to start a live soon," Jungkook answers as he set up a tripod in front of the sofa.

"Oh! In that case let me know so I can scooch over a corner while you talk to army," I told them kindly.

"Nonsense you get to be with us in the live," Jimin said from his place on the dining table the hotel offered.

"Are you sure?" I questioned with uncertainty, "I know you guys don't usually have guests in your lives."

BTS usually didn't do lives with other people. They did them mainly amongst themselves. I didn't know how army would take it if they had somebody else with them, especially a girl. They would certainly have something to say about it.

"We're sure. Don't worry, it'll be fun!" Hoseok said from behind me as he patted my shoulder.

As soon as the setup was done we all gathered around the sofa. Jungkook, Jimin, Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi sat on the L shaped sofa while Taehyung, Hoseok, and I sat on the floor leaving me in between them.

Surprisingly the live went very smoothly and it was a lot of fun. I didn't see many hate comments just questioning ones as to why I was there. The guys introduced me as their new friend and as we went along the live there were opportunities for me to get to know them a bit better.

While I sat there, I felt as Hoseok's leg pressed against mine, making me feel flustered. Warmth spread through me the more the live went on. At some point he whispered something in my ear in a low voice that made me lose focus on what was happening around me. He was doing things to me I couldn't explain. I wonder if he also felt the same things I did. Towards the end of the live I couldn't focus anymore. The strange thing was that Taehyungs leg was also very close to mine and he even had his arm around me for some time, yet that did not bother me in any way.

When the live ended my thoughts were interrupted by Jimin giving out a yell as he opened a bottle of champagne. Deciding not to think of my bodies reaction to the rapper beside me I shook my head and accepted the glass Namjoon offered me.

I was glad I came to what I now call the BTS afterparty. The guys were amazing and came up with the weirdest games.

Throughout the night I couldn't help but sneak glances at Hoseok. My eyes always wondered to him without my consent and whenever he spoke my attention would instantly be on him. At one point when I turned to look at him, he was already staring at me very intensely. I tried to hold eye contact, his eyes were very dark and alluring causing me to get lost in them, feeling as if I had fallen into a dark abyss. There was so much emotion in his gaze, I got overwhelmed and looked away. I felt as a blush crept up my cheeks and as I looked back up again, he gave me a smirk.

Wasn't Hoseok supposed to be the sunshine of the group? This wasn't sunshine, sure it was fiery but it was also sinful and flirty and dark.

After a while and I decided I had enough to drink so I got up to leave. I wasn't drunk or tipsy but if I kept drinking, I would get there. I bid my farewells promising to see them again soon and left the room. As the doors to the elevator started to close a hand stopped them and a man came in.

Looking up at him I confusedly asked, "Hoseok?"

"Y/n wait," he said rushed.

"What is it?" I asked nervously.

It was only the two of us in the elevator and as I recalled all the glances and grins he gave me back in the room, I started growing nervous. I stuck my hands in the front pocket of my hoodie to try and hide their trembling.

He got very close to me, our chests almost touching. He leaned his face down towards mine. I felt his hands graze my cheeks with his breath mixing with mine. He got closer, his lips brushing on mine until he pulled away. I hadn't realized I had closed my eyes but as he grew the distance between us, I opened them in confusion, disappointment reflecting in them. I was breathless even though the kiss didn't happen and as I looked at him, he was the same way.

Hoseok still had his hands on my face and I felt as he grazed his thumb on my lips. For some reason, he also had a disappointed look on his face. I wonder why, he could have kissed me if he wanted, plus,  he was the one in control of the whole situation. He could have done anything and I wouldn't have protested.

"Let me take you out on a date first," he said, answering my silent question.

I could only nod but that was not enough for him.

He got closer again but this time it was to whisper in my ear, "I need to hear you say it."

His voice was low and raspy. I couldn't stop the goosebumps from arising on my skin.

"Y-Yes, I'd, um, love to go on a date with you," I felt like a schoolgirl as I stuttered.

I jumped as I felt the elevator ding signaling it had arrived at its destination. Somehow without me noticing he had stepped away taking his warmth with him and leaving me cold.

"I'll see you soon for our date, y/n," he then said cheerfully, his attitude changing completely from before.

"Bye Hoseok," I said perplexed at the sudden change.

I walked away from the elevator but turned to look back. There he was staring at me again as the door closed and just before they did, he sent me a wink as a seductive smile made its way to his lips.

A/N: I don't think I've ever written anything like this. So, if you guys enjoyed it please let me know and make sure to like and reblog to show your support.

Im still shocked at what I wrote. It honestly started as an innocent idea but towards the end something like happened. It's not smutty but like I tried to write a tension between them.

Did you feel it? Did it need more?

Please let me know!

See you guys later ;) 💜 x

-Nikki Marie

[freddiesaysalright]

Soft in Love Part 7

A Gwilym Lee x Student!Reader Fic

Summary: Y/N is an acting student in her last semester of college. When a professor unexpectedly can’t make it for the senior capstone class, a very famous (and handsome) substitute is called in. When they connect, they face a few challenges.

Word Count: 3.5k

Tag List:  @psychosupernatural​, @someone-get-a-medic​, @bensrhapsody​, @deakyclicks​, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession​, @minigranger​, @crazyweirdocalledfriday​, @benders-diamond-earring​, @im-an-adult-ish​, @anincurablefangirl​, @kiainspace​, @lookuptotheskiesandsee​, @god-save-the-deaks​, @assembledherethevolunteers​, @misslolasworld​, @not-john-watsons-blog​, @spacedustmazzello​, @theindiealto​, @riddikuluslypotter​, @depressedbitchxox​, @tenement-funstah​, @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls​, @sarablog10​, @johndeaconshands​, @coincidence-ithinknots-blog​, @simonedk​, @queenlover05​, @goodoldfashionedloverboyy​ If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: ;)

Warning(s): Smut in this chapter! Oral sex (M and F receiving) and unprotected sex!

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6

Part 7 here we go!!!

On Thursday, Gwilym didn’t come to class. He had Dr. Curtis direct in his absence.

You had been reeling since your almost kiss. What was Gwilym talking about when he said he “couldn’t do this to you”? Do what, exactly? Did that mean his feelings weren’t there and he was only attracted to you? That was disappointing to think about. Or was he talking about the risks of such a relationship? Obviously, he wouldn’t want to get you into trouble, and you didn’t want that for him, either. But why couldn’t he just say so?

The most frustrating part of your hurt feelings was that you could express them to no one. You didn’t want to tell Sloan because you thought she might judge you a bit. And you sure as shit couldn’t talk to Andrew. He was barely talking to you at all, except for in class when he had to. You considered calling your mother, but you knew she would probably faint at hearing your interest in a man in his thirties. So there you were, heartbroken and isolated.

It was difficult to go through each day like it was normal. You smiled when Sloan told stories and forced laughter here and there. But your heart wasn’t in it. You needed to understand why Gwilym had done what he did. Only, you were sure he wouldn’t come early to class any more to give you an opportunity to ask.

On Friday, you sat in the library, pondering when you could confront him. The idea of it made you queasy with nerves, but it had to be done. That way, you could move on. If moving on was what you both wanted to do.

You opened your notebook and double checked the syllabus. Gwilym said when he first arrived that he would be maintaining Dr. Bennett’s office hours. Those were on Mondays and Fridays between two and four in the afternoon. You checked your watch. It was one-thirty. Stuffing your notebook back in your bag, you left, heading across campus to get your closure.

Gwilym sat at his desk, staring at the email from his agent, heart completely torn. There was a part he was up for, only filming would begin before the semester was over, and they were shooting in London. While that once would have thrilled him, things were different. He had made a commitment to this, and he would feel terrible if he left the class. On the other hand, it was the perfect excuse to get away from you. Not that getting away from you was what he wanted. He just thought it would be easier to deal with his feelings if he wasn’t seeing you so often.

He checked the clock. He had about half an hour before office hours started, so he picked up his phone and called the one person he had talked to about this. Joe.

“Hello?” Joe said when he picked up.

“Joe, I need some advice,” Gwilym said. 

He explained the whole scenario. And what he considered were the pros and cons of each. Joe listened carefully and took a few moments to answer.

“Well, I don’t think you should bail on the class,” Joe said. “As convenient a solution to the whole Y/N problem as that would be, it’s not fair to the rest of them. They already lost one teacher, it’ll suck if you backed out too.”

“I know,” Gwilym replied. “I shouldn’t even consider it, I just…”

“You want what’s best for her, I get it,” he said. “But it’s not like anything has happened. Why the sudden urge to run away?”

Gwilym told him what took place in the auditorium.

“Damn, Gwil!” Joe laughed. “That’s the opposite of what we talked about!”

“I know!” Gwilym cried. “I just - fuck - she’s irresistable. Every time I try to close myself off she looks at me and I just melt. I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, taking the part isn’t the solution,” Joe said. “And she’s probably really confused right now. My advice at this point is to get everything out in the open and clear the air.”

“You’re right,” Gwilym agreed. “It’s not going to be an easy conversation.”

“No, it isn’t, but you can do it,” Joe said. “I believe in you.”

“Your faith is inspiring,” Gwilym teased. “But I’ve gotta go, office hours are about to start.”

“Good luck, Gwil,” Joe said before hanging up.

Gwilym set his phone down, looked at the email again and sighed.

You walked to Gwilym’s office slowly, your heart racing. It was terrifying to think he might reject you, but you needed answers. You had  to get this sorted out or you’d go crazy. You took a deep breath and then knocked on the door.

“Come in!” Gwilym called from the other side.

With a shaking hand, you turned the knob and opened the door. He was staring hard at his computer screen and had not seen you yet.

“Gosh, Gwilym, don’t think so hard,” you joked. “I think I can smell your hair burning.”

You forced an awkward laugh as he turned eyes on you and stiffened.

“Hi,” you said.

“Hey,” he returned. “Um, close the door.”

You did. It clicked softly shut and you took a seat on the other side of the desk.

“So, what are you thinking so hard about?” you asked.

“I’ve got an offer for a part,” he said. 

“That’s great!” you said excitedly.

He shook his head. “Not really. It’s sort of last minute and the schedule interferes with the semester.”

“Oh,” you said. “Well, are you going to take it?”

“I was considering it,” he said.

Silence hung between you for a moment. It had never been so awkward, and you hated this feeling.

“I’m turning it down,” he finally said, breaking some of the tension.

You looked at him and held his gaze.

“There are things…” he began. “People….that compel me to stay where I am.”

Your breath seemed to leave you in that moment.

“I’m glad to hear it,” you said quietly.

He heaved a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Look, Y/N, I know you’re to talk about what happened, and I should start by saying I’m sorry if you’ve been hurt by my actions,” he said, looking at you again. “I only ever want what’s best for you.”

“I understand,” you said. “But I like you, Gwilym. I really like you and I can’t pretend that I don’t anymore.”

Gwilym’s heart was being stretched so far in two directions he was surprised it hadn’t split. One side was urging him to kiss you now and the other was telling him to keep his distance. Both parts were due to how much he liked you.

“My feelings are the same,” he said. “But we must go on pretending. It’s too big a risk.”

You stood up. You felt unusually bold now that you knew your feelings were reciprocated. You walked around the desk and took his hand.

“I’m not scared,” you said. “I just want you.”

Gwilym also got to his feet. He looked down at you as you stepped closer. You looked so beautiful in that dress and cardigan. He swallowed. He was quickly losing his resolve.

“Y/N,” he said. “This is already difficult. Please…”

He stopped when you closed the distance between you, pressing your body into his. He nearly winced as he felt your breasts against his chest.

“Gwilym,” you said, looking up at him with desperate eyes. “Kiss me. Please. Just once.”

Any walls he had put up between you were blasted away. His hands came up to cradle your face and he lowered his lips to yours. Softly, tenderly, they moved together. You deepened  the kiss when you stood on your toes to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer. You let out a soft whine into his mouth and he stepped back.

You stood before him, chest heaving and cheeks flushed, waiting for him to say something. Anything.

“We shouldn’t,” he said. “We can’t, it’s not allowed.”

“I already told you, I’m not afraid!” you said.

“Well, you should be!” he returned. “Think of what could happen. You’ve worked so hard for your scholarship. For everything. You can’t waste it on me!”

“It’s not wasting it!” you shot back. “I’m not afraid of losing any of that. The only thing I am afraid of is leaving here and never again feeling this! What I feel for you!”

“Y/N, please, you deserve -”

“Don’t presume to tell me what do or don’t deserve, Gwilym!” you cut across him. “It’s not about deserving. I want what I want, and that’s you.”

He sighed, looking at your determined face. 

“No one can know,” he said.

You beamed as you nodded. He stepped toward you again, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I mean it, Y/N,” he said, trying not to smile back. “Not Sloan, not Andrew, no one.”

You nodded again, smile widening. “Yes, yes, I understand.”

He got stern, grabbing your chin in his thumb and forefinger, forcing you to focus.

“If you lose all that this close to graduating, I’ll never forgive myself,” he said. “We must be absolutely discreet if we’re going to do this.”

You placed a hand on his chest.

“I know,” you said. “I understand, I really do, but aren’t you a little bit happy?”

He smiled at last.

“Oh, darling,” he said. “I’m thrilled.”

He leaned in and kissed you again. You smiled into this kiss before it quickly became more heated. He lifted you onto his desk and stood between your legs as his mouth devoured yours. His lips trailed across your jaw and then down your neck and you moaned.

You took his hand and placed it on your breast. He squeezed it and you sighed with some relief. The pressure was building between your legs, where you could feel him getting hard against you.

“Fuck,” you sighed, pushing your cardigan off and throwing it into the chair you had occupied just minutes before.

His hands roamed your body, from your breasts, down your sides, to your thighs. You spread them a little wider for him, but he either didn’t get the hint or he wanted to tease you. He just ran his hands up and down, pushing the skirt of your dress up a little more each time. His lips remained on yours. You reached out and started on the buttons of his shirt. He shivered when you pushed it off his shoulders.

“Nice,” you teased as you ran a hand over his body.

He chuckled and kissed you lightly. 

“How do I -” he began.

“Zipper’s at the back,” you cut him off. 

He smiled and wrapped his arms around you once more and found the zipper of your dress. He slowly pushed it down and you let the sleeves fall from your shoulders. You were so happy you’d chosen not to wear a bra, especially when Gwilym gasped at your appearance. 

He wasted no time in bending down and taking a nipple into his mouth. You moaned and arched into him, the sensation driving you crazy. With his hand, he toyed with the other one, and your head fell back as you groaned.

“You’re beautiful,” he breathed. “God, you’re so beautiful.”

The low tone of his voice sent a shiver up your spine and heat to your core. You pushed your hips towards him some more while he continued on your tits. You felt him smirk. So, he was teasing you.

“Gwilym,” you whined. “Please.”

“Lie back for me,” he instructed with that stunning smirk still on his lips.

The desk was large enough for you to recline as he said, especially once he pulled your bum right to the edge. You spread your legs wide for him and he pushed your skirt up to your waist. You were wearing plain pink underwear, and on it he saw how wet you were already. He choked back a groan.

He hooked a finger into the waistband of your panties and dragged them down your legs. Then he stuffed them in his pocket. His kissed you all the way up your thighs until you were squirming.

“I want to taste you,” he said as he reached your aching heat. “Is that alright?”

“Be my guest,” you returned.

You had never really had a great experience with guys going down on you. Previous boyfriends had just struggled to get the job done. But you wanted Gwilym more than you had ever wanted anyone else. You hoped that would help.

As Gwilym brought his lips to your slit, you realized it wasn’t you at all. The way he moved his mouth against you made you gasp. It was slow, careful, and deliberate. Each stroke of his tongue was an exploration of you until he finally landed right on your clit.

“Oh!” you cried. “There!”

“Here?” Gwilym teased, flicking it lightly with his tongue. 

“Mmm!” you whined and nodded.

He took it between his lips and sucked gently. Your back came off the desk and you cried out so loud, he stopped.

“Shh!” he warned, hovering over you and putting his hand over your mouth. “You want the whole hall to hear?”

You shook your head.

“It just feels so good,” you sighed. “Please don’t stop.”

He pressed his lips to your stomach and trailed back down to your center. Keeping his hand over your mouth, he dove into you. Your muffled cries egged him on. You were writhing on the desk, sending papers to the floor and your knee knocked his cup of pencils over.

You hardly registered any of that. All you could think about was Gwilym’s mouth on you. Every action created a white hot pleasure which only tightened that coil inside you. You had never felt something this good. You were hurtling toward the edge.

Gwilym’s pants felt tighter and tighter as he watched you react to his work with his tongue. He felt you getting wetter, as well. So he brought his free hand to your entrance. With his pointer finger, he began to tease you. He heard you whine again as you bucked toward him. He sank it inside you and your legs stiffened for a moment before relaxing again. You rocked into his hand and he thought he might cum in his pants just from watching you get so aroused by him.

Your walls clamped down around Gwilym’s finger as he pumped it in and out of you. He added a second, to stretch you more, which felt so good you thought you might scream. It was a miracle you hadn’t already. Then he crooked his fingers toward himself, right into your g-spot, and your hand slammed onto the desk as you jolted with need.

The coil was tightening faster and faster as Gwilym worked you up with his mouth and fingers. Your legs began to shake as you reached your peak.

“Oooohhhh, fuck, Gwilym,” you moaned since his hand had lowered to play with your nipples again. “I’m close!”

He could by the way your walls were clenching around his fingers. He didn’t stop. He maintained his steady pace until finally, your orgasm washed over you. You released a choked cry of his name. You shuddered as it hit you in waves and you rode it out against Gwilym’s face.

He climbed his way back up your body with his mouth. When he reached your lips, he kissed you deeply and you tasted yourself on him. Holy fuck, it was hot. Your hips rutted up against him for more friction.

“Relax, love,” he said gently. “You’re still sensitive.”

“Want me to return the favor?” you asked.

“Later,” he answered. “Catch your breath.”

You inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly.

“That was amazing,” you hummed.

“I’m glad to hear it,” he replied, kissing your cheek.

You felt his cock straining against his pants, so you pushed him up. He stood upright and you sat up, immediately going for his belt. One hand cupped him through his trousers while the other worked his belt and button free. 

“Y/N, you don’t have to -”

“I want to,” you cut him off.

You tugged the zipper down and together, you pushed his trousers and boxers down his thighs. His cock sprung free. It was hard, long, and already leaking precum. You swiped it away with your thumb and began stroking him, tight and fast.

“Ah, Y/N,” he groaned. “Fuck.”

You pressed your lips to his chest.

“Want my mouth?”

He shook his head. 

“No - fuck - I need to be inside you,” he sputtered.

You released him. He sounded so lovely and looked stunning with his eyes blown with lust. You smirked, hopped off the desk, turned around, and bent over it. He groaned at the sight.

“God, you’re filthy,” he sighed.

You giggled and wiggled your ass at him.

“Come on, then,” you said. “Come and take it.”

He pressed up against you, and you felt his cock at your entrance. You were aching for him, so you pressed back with your hips demandingly. Then, to your great relief, he pushed inside. He was thicker than you thought, stretching you deliciously. But the best part was how perfectly his tip hit your g-spot. You groaned and gripped the desk as he bottomed out inside you.

“Jesus, you’re tight,” he hissed.

“Mmm, fuck, please move,” you whined, pushing further into him.

He pulled back out about halfway before slamming into you again. He curved over you, reaching around your hips with his hand until his finger found your clit. You clapped your own hand over your mouth this time. You knew you were about to get loud.

He set a quick, steady pace, chasing release. You were right there with him. Your second orgasm was about to hit you already, sensitive as you were from the first. He kissed you wherever his lips could reach - your back, shoulders, arms, neck. He fucked you strong and deep. 

As you reached your peak, he sped up. Your walls fluttered around him at that spring inside you approached release. His cock inside you and his finger on your clit were driving you absolutely wild. You let go of your mouth and held onto the desk again - so hard your knuckles turned white - as Gwilym drove it home.

“Ah - oh God - oh fuck - Gwil - SHIT!” you sobbed as it hit you.

Your eyes rolled back as you began coming down, Gwilym still thrusting. His strokes slowed down as you started to recover, but you felt that he needed more.

“You want my -”

“Mouth?” he finished. “God, yes.”

He pulled out and you winced at the lost contact, but quickly turned around and sank to your knees. You looked up at him and smiled.

“You can cum in my mouth,” you said. “I’ll swallow and everything.”

“Oooohh, God,” he groaned.

You didn’t give him time to say anything else before you opened your mouth wide and took him down. You didn’t want to tease him now, or might have started with just the tip. As it was, he needed his release. You hollowed out your cheeks and began the same rhythm he had given you. You took him as deep as you could, with your hand making up for the difference. His fingers laced through your hair. He didn’t force you faster though. He just held you there.

“Shit, Y/N,” he whined. “I’m gonna - hhhnnngg, fuck!”

His cock twitched in your mouth so you sped up. He gasped and threw his head back in pleasure. Short, breathy moans fell from his lips that were so hot, you rubbed your thighs together. You reached up to massage his balls. He let out a filthy groan and grabbed your head, jutting his hips into you.

“Oh, fuck!” he cried. 

He held your held still against him as he finished, painting your throat with his cum. You hummed around him, bobbing your head a couple times to finish him off. As promised, you swallowed it all down. Then you came off him with a grin.

He sank into his chair, panting. Tired as he was, he still pulled you up into his lap. You straddled him, burying your face in his neck. You were both spent now.

“You’re incredible,” he said, kissing your cheek.

“So are you,” you returned. “No one’s ever made me cum like that.”

He chuckled. “I’m honored. You sure you’re alright?”

You nodded. “Better than alright. I could sleep for weeks.”

He laughed again. “I should hope not. I’m not done with you yet.”

“Oh?” you returned, cocking an eyebrow. “What did you have in mind?”

“I’ll pick you up from your dorm tonight at nine,” he said. “We’ll go back to mine and make love properly. Then you can stay the night with me, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you said.

You relaxed against his chest again. You had a few more minutes before you would have to leave, but your heart leapt at the thought of the night. As you toyed with the hair at the nape of Gwilym’s neck, you felt so content. Still, you were not afraid. But he was.

[pastelbatfandoms]

The VK’s:Gods and Pirates

Warnings: Slight Smut! But still with plot. Jealous,Dominating Harry,you know the drill. 

A/N: Also I know nothing about a Scottish accent,so I’m not even going to try. Closest I’ll get is probably some Pirate slang. Sorry there isn’t any gifs of Dizzy but they are really hard to find the right ones!

Chapter 5-Hook Me

Harry Hook POV:

Harry Hook,The Son of Captain Hook,strode into The Voodoo Arcade like he owned the place,and since a Pirate’s life was all about ‘Want.Take.Have.’ He kinda did. 

All eyes turned towards him,some in fear some in lust,as well as Meghana’s Friends Esme,Celia and Dizzy,who had joined them after her clean up duty at Her Grandmother’s Salon Curl Up and Dye.

But Harry cared about no one else but Meghana as he called out. “Oi! My lil Duckling where are ye!” 

When he didn’t see nor hear her,his eyes settled on Meghana’s Friends who were sitting off into the corner. They looked up as he approached. But their eyes that usually shown with either friendliness or indifference where now filled with apprehension. 

Harry immediately sensed something was off,but covered it up with his trademark grin and playful attitude. “Aye have any of you lovely ladies,seen My Beautiful little Minx,Meghana anywhere?” Harry asked turning on the charm as he often did when he wanted something. 

“We haven’t seen her.” Celia answered a little too quickly. 

“Really?” Harry looked at each of them in turn,skeptical. “This is like her second home and you mean to tell me NO ONE has seen her all day?” Harry gestured with a wide crazy grin,looking  over at all the other patrons sitting or playing games,but still being wary of Harry. 

It was Esme who spoke up,leaning forward in her seat as she stared calmly into Harry’s wild eyes,the one who out of all of Meghana’s friends actually stood up to Harry. “She’s not here Harry.”

“Ah Good to see you again too Esme. So her oldest friend doesn’t even know where she is?”  Harry gave her a coy look,as they stared at each other face to face. If you didn’t know better you would have thought they had history. Esme said nothing as Harry slowly left Esme’s gaze and let it fall onto Dizzy. 

Dizzy hadn’t said anything this whole time,Harry noticed suspiciously,Narrowing his eyes. Instead The once cheerful redhead looked down and seemed more nervous than usual. Normally Harry would let it go and just wait for Meghana to return but something was up,Harry could feel it and her friends strange behavior weren’t helping to assuage him. 

Harry leaned into Dizzy’s personal space as he asked. “’Hello Little Dizzy,you wouldn’t happen to know where Meggie scandered off to do you?” Harry asked her as if he was talking to a child,which Dizzy only being 14 kinda was. 

“I-I didn’t,I mean I don’t...” Dizzy stammered. 

“Dizzy.” Esme hissed,raising her eyebrows at the girl in warning. 

Nothing got past a Pirate,and Harry now knew for sure something was up and it involved his girl. Harry’s jaw set in irritation as he noticed the silent exchange between all three girls. But his gaze returned toward Dizzy and he smiled menacingly 

“Dizzy Dear,I’m going to need ya to tell me the truth..” Harry held up his Hook and hooked it through one of Dizzy’s looped pigtail buns. “Lest you’d like a new haircut eh lass?” 

Dizzy looked over at Harry’s Hook in his right hand,nervousness replaced by fear,her eyes wide behind her large glasses.“Ok! She’s with Hades!” Dizzy blurted out in a panic,promptly putting a hand over her mouth after. 

Harry smiled widely,though it didn’t meet his eyes as he unhooked her hair. “See was that so hard?” 

“Dizzy...” Celia gave her best friend a look,closing her eyes in exasperation. 

“I’m sorry but he was going to cut off My hair!” Dizzy exclaimed,almost in tears. Everyone knew how important hair was to Dizzy,being a Hairdresser. 

But everyone’s attention quickly turned back to the matter at hand,when Harry suddenly straightened up. “Hades,well...” Harry mused. “Looks like My wee Duckling has some explaining to do.” 

“It was our idea!” Celia exclaimed,jumping up. 

“She’s only meeting up with Hades for closure.” Esme told Harry before he could get any ideas into his head.

It was too late for that. Harry dragged his Hook under his own chin as he pretended to think. “Is that it now? Well looks like I’ll have to break up their lil reunion.” 

“Don’t you hurt her.” Esme warned.

Harry spun around then an innocent look on his smooth handsome features. “Me? Never!”  Putting his hands,and hook,out in mock defense.  As all three of them looked at Harry,he dropped his arms in Concedment. “Truly Ladies,I wouldn’t hurt her,I promise.” 

“ He’s telling the truth,yeah he’s a Pirate,but Harry loves Megs. Even I can see that.” Dizzy spoke surprisingly in Harry’s Defense. 

“I do.” Harry nodded in agreement,giving them a sincere,none mocking, expression. “So if you would excuse me.”  Harry Cleared his throat at Celia and held out his hook. Harry answered her questioning look, “The key.” 

“Right.” Celia nodded in understanding and deposited a large intricate key,similar to the one Meghana had, out of her Jacket and held it out to Harry.

Harry grinned a thank you and procured it with his hook. With a bow to all three girls,Harry spun around and walked out of the arcade,with the same swag and confident manner. As soon as Harry exited though the smirk fell away with a dark expression as he prepared to get his goddess back. 

Meghana’s POV

Meghana’s emotions were still high but they had died down a bit after seeing Hades,she would always have feelings for her former Underworld King and Mentor but there were other fish in the sea.  “Now to go see my Pirate.” Meghana said to herself,locking the grate doors behind her. Then retrieving her rose eyepatch,slips it on. Suddenly Meghana hears a sound in the now darkness and whirls around,seeing a shadow of a man walk towards her. 

Meghana relaxed in relief when she noticed who it was. “Harry. Don’t scare me like that.” 

Harry emerged from the shadows with a dark grin on his face. “Don’t scare you? I would never think of it. My Goddess ” 

“I was just coming to see you.” Meghana told him but at his look,her small smile turned to nerves once again. “What are you doing here?”

“A wee birdie told me you’d be here.” Harry answered his grin turning sour at his next words. “With Hades.” 

“Dammit Dizzy...” Meghana cursed under her breath.

Harry held up a hand not letting Meghana speak. “Before you try an’ explain yourself. They already told me it was their idea. What ah wanna know is,why are ya here?” Harry asked,cocking his head,his expression unreadable as he looked at Meghana.

“I was saying goodbye.” Meghana answered him,knowing it sounded weak even to her.

Harry let out a derisive laugh,looking away with a false smile. “How so?” Harry asked in a mocking tone. 

It was Meghana’s turn to give Harry a look. “ I was letting him go,for you!” She cried out not in anger but in trying to make him hear her. 

Harry looked at her then,arms crossed out. “Really? cause from where am standing,ye never did.” Harry’s eyes were sad now no longer trying to hide it.

“I did though,I have!” Meghana insisted. 

But Harry was having none of it. “May’be now but what about before when he’s all you’d talk about,complain about?! not ta mention tha’ hackit witch.” Referring to Maleficent as ugly in his native tongue. 

Meghana stared at him taken aback,”I didn’t think you...”

“What?! Noticed?!” Harry all but shouted,arms wide,then noticing his stance,Harry stepped back,giving a tight lipped smile,gripping his hook as he tried to compose himself. 

“We should probably have this conversation somewhere else,away from prying eyes an’ ears.” Harry said more calmly still within arms reach of Meghana, eyeing the street merchants and poor around them. C’mon.” Harry held out his hook for Meghana to take,she noticed he didn’t offer his hand,so she did grabbing onto the cool steel with one finger,hoping this meant Harry would forgive her,as they walked down the dark alleyway together. 

UPCOMING SMUT!

Finally Harry and Meghana reached their private quarters on the pirate ship,Harry opening the wooden door for Meghana as they stepped inside. Meghana letting go of Harry’s hook. Meghana searched for the right words to say as Harry closed the door behind them,they stood their for what seemed like forever,Harry not facing her,in the dim light of the gas lamp. 

“Harry could you talk to me now? say something,yell again,I don’t care!” Meghana pleaded,throwing her arms out in defeat. When he didn’t answer,Meghana tried again,reaching for him to face her. 

When Harry finally did turn towards her,his expression was not one she expected,Meghana expected him to be angry still,even sad but not with tears forming behind his light eyes. 

“Do you still want to be with me?” Harry asked so quietly Meghana almost didn’t hear him until he asked almost hesitantly. “Do you..Do you still love me?”

Before Meghana could reply,Harry run his hands through his dark hair and down his face in frustration. “ Fuck I am no good at this.” 

Before Harry could impulsively do something he’d regret,Meghana grabbed his face to look at her. “Harry. of course I love you,I want you.” She insisted looking him in the eyes. 

Harry seemed to calm down at her touch,closing his eyes,when he opened them they were dark. “prove it. or rather let me.” With those words Harry spun her around,her back to him,keeping her close. THIS is what he was good at. 

Meghana let out a small sound of pleasure and closed her eyes. “Anything for you Captain.” No Harry wasn’t a real Captain yet but he was Captain of Meghana’s ship....

“Anything?” Harry purred low in her ear,his accent becoming stronger as he said. “Mmmm that’s what I Ah like ta hear Love, A’m gonna ruin yeh...” Meghana’s stomach started to get butterflies and her heart and eyes fluttered at his touch, she nodded her permission as Harry dragged his hook through her hair and down her cheek softer than expected. 

Harry moved Meghana’s hair out of the way and kissed her neck then gave it a swift bite. Meghana gasped in surprise. “Easy Vampire!” 

Harry smirked. “That little Ducklin’ was a warnin’. Do ya really think A’m gonna be easy on ya tonight?” 

Meghana looked down in reproach. “Of course not Sir.” 

“Good.” Harry spun her around to face him, as he hooked her around the waist then kissed her hungrily,running his free hand through her hair, clothes tore a little but Meghana didn’t care,as long as Harry forgave her,still wanted her to be his,then he could do whatever he wanted. 

 Still kissing passionately they made their way over to the small bed,clothes tearing and ripping in there rush to get them off. Harry stopped Meghana when she went for his pants and pushed her onto the bed. “Uhhu,not so fast,I told ya I was gonna ruin yeh and ah meant it.” 

To be Continued...

A/N: So yeah My Muse Disappeared....and was replaced by Chad Charming lol so I will be writing up a side story with Chad and Esme!

[brycecortez]

After Prison Break | Rhodez

when: june 29th, 2020

where: the red door, the beach house

trigger warnings: mentions of prison, mentions of the foster care system, mentions of prostitution

nb: after amber-jade came back from visiting her father in prison, she immediately finds her way to the bar. and as if it was fate, bryce finds her and saves her from what could’ve very much lead to a dangerous and bad situation. bryce makes sure she gets home safely and stays the night with her, especially after she confides in him about what really happened to her in new york after ollie left the group home.

@amberjade-rhodes

Amber had gotten back from Connecticut a few hours ago and after assuring Ollie that she would be fine, she headed straight to The Red Door to drink until she forgot about her prison visit. By the time she had downed her fifth or sixth drink, the guy sitting next to her had started to get a little too friendly but she certainly didn’t have her wits about her; at least not to her usual standards. As he rested his hand on her thigh, she half heartedly tried to push him away but the alcohol coursing through her system and her complete exhaustion from the last couple of days made the gesture rather ineffective. Dimly, she was aware that she had gotten herself into a bad situation but with her brain shutting down, she couldn’t exactly plan for her usual escape route.

Bryce had been out drinking with some of the guys from the football field, going to a different bar that wasn't Mars Bar, one that was a bit more classier than the typical college bar. He had been a few drinks in when he recognized a familiar redhead, one he could recognize from anywhere - right across the bar. It was evident that the girl was drunk, and Bryce's stomach immediately turned as he spotted another male trying to take advantage. Excusing himself for the rest of the night before walking over to the girl. "Amber-Jade?" he asked, basically announcing himself as he stepped up to the redhead. "You can go now, I got it from here. I'll make sure she gets home safe." he spoke to the other male, his eyes growing dark with anger as his voice made it very evident he knew the others intentions were. "Hey, beautiful girl. Let's get you home, yeah?" he offered out his hand for the other to take, giving her a small smile."

Amber smiled widely when Bryce approached her, not having realized that he was also in the bar tonight and happy to see him. "Bryce! It's so good to see you, I think this guy is trying to get me to take him home, which is ridiculous because I can't even remember where I live right now", Amber laughed, rolling her eyes at the strange man sitting beside her; as if he was just a foolish idiot as opposed to someone that was trying to take advantage of her current state. "You remember where I live? What a hero! Just don't tell Ollie that I was here, okay? We just got back from seeing my father and I promised him that I was fine so he's going to flip if he realizes that I dropped my bags at home and then came to the nearest bar", she rambled as she took Bryce's hand.

Bryce's eyes darted back and forth between Amber and the other male. His gaze was cold, but not towards her. He didn't even want to begin to think about what could've happened to her if he hadn't been there; the thought sickened him, and for some reason he felt the need to go into protective mode. He broke his gaze when he felt the redhead taking his hand, his eyes officially looking down at the female. "I don't think I could possibly keep any more lies from Ollie. I'm already in deep shit with him and Lola as it is." he said with a soft chuckle. With his hand in hers, he stood her up, dropping her hand just so he could use both of his to hold onto her in case if he needed to steady her. "Let's get you home, babe. There's too many people here anyways."

After Bryce’s arrival and insistence that he would be the one taking her home, the man that had been sitting next to her quickly scarpered; leaving her alone with Bryce. “She’s not mad at you, you know that right? Lola, I mean. She didn’t give me all the details because that’s between the two of you but she appreciated the closure and just misses her best friend”, she said honestly, the alcohol loosening her tongue enough to try and give Bryce some sort of peace of mind. “Can you please at least downplay it? He’ll feel so guilty for just leaving me at the beach house, even though I promised I was fine, and I don’t want him to feel guilty. He’s one of the best people I know”, she rambled. She pouted slightly when he took his hand back but it was probably for the best as it helped stabilise her when she wobbled on her feet. “You’re a regular knight in shining whatever; let’s go home, you valiant hero”.

Bryce had been lost in his own thoughts for a brief moment. He just didn't understand how he could grown to adore someone this quickly. Hearing her speak about Lola immediately snapped him out of his thoughts. "W-what?" he said in a stutter, reorienting himself for a quick moment before responding once more. "Lola's never mad at me, at least not as much as she has the right to be. I know that we're okay, it's Ollie that I'm worried about." he simply stated, shrugging it off right then and there. He didn't really want to talk about it, especially when the other had been drunk off her ass. "Yeah, he's pretty great. Could've came out a lot worse, that's for damn sure." he simply stated, giving the redhead a small smile. It was obvious that she was close to the other male, and that she obviously adored the hell out of him. "I'm far from being a knight in shining...whatever." he laughed. "Are you going to be okay to walk, or should I carry you to the car?"

Amber worried that she had misspoken based on his stuttering response but he gathered himself just a second later. "She's a pretty forgiving person, which is surprising after everything that she's been through. I'm certainly not that forgiving", Amber admitted. "Have you tried talking to Ollie? He may need a little time but I've heard the way he talks about you, you're someone important to him", she added. "We don't need to talk about this, though. I just wanted to make sure that you weren't worried u-unnecessarily", she explained, stumbling slightly over the big word. "We were in care together, he got a second chance and I didn't. The couple of years after he moved away and I stayed in that group home really fucked me up, more than I was already fucked up. I'm glad that he got that chance but sometimes I wonder why I wasn't as lucky". She was truly lacking a verbal filter right now, as evidenced by everything she was telling him. "You're definitely a knight right now, it's pretty hot. I can walk but now that I know you're capable of carrying me, we'll be trying that in the future".

"Neither am I. She's pretty remarkable. They both are." Bryce stated, thinking out loud. "Not yet, I don't know how to face him. It's crazy because part of me is kind of envious of him. We were both the fucked up football players in high school, the guys that simply just fucked around and got in trouble. He was always a good person, but he was fucked up. And then he came here, and he grew and he got better. I guess a part of me is envious of that because I'm still stuck in that fucked up phase." he confided, although he immediately felt vulnerable and shook his head. "Why am I even talking about this with you? You're drunk off your ass right now." he teased lightly, laughing softly to show that there had been no heat behind his words; his laughter followed by another small chuckle in response to how cute he found her slight stutter to be. "He talked about you a lot, you know. He never said a name, but he always referred to the one girl from the group home that made life worth living, the one that saved him. Don't tell him I told you this, but he once told me years ago that if never left the group home you probably would've been the person he ended up with...but I'm hoping you're way too drunk to remember this entire conversation." It seemed as though he was also lacking a verbal filter that evening, although he didn't have anything he could blame it on. Again, he only hoped that she wouldn't remember much of this conversation. "You just let me know, babe, I will carry you whenever and wherever." Once he was confident that she was stable and able to walk, Bryce grabbed her head and led the redhead out of the bar and towards the uber that had been waiting outside, one that he sneakily requested on his phone as she was talking. He gave the uber driver a quick hello as he opened up the door, allowing Amber-Jade to get into the car before he did.

“I still think it’s crazy that we’re all so closely connected and have ended up here at the same time. It’s like six degrees of separation with the four of us, almost like we were destined to be in each other’s lives”, Amber shared her thoughts with her. “I get that, I’m pretty envious of him too. He still thinks he’s fucked up but honestly, he’s grown so much and he’s got such a bright future ahead of him. Sometimes I worry that I’ve only gotten worse since he was last in my life and I really don’t want to screw him up again”, she confided in Bryce, genuinely feeling like he understood her. “This will probably make me sound crazy but one of the reasons why I feel drawn to you is because you aren’t perfect... I get this feeling that I could tell you anything and you’d understand and you wouldn’t judge me”. She laughed at his next comment, playfully nudging him. “Maybe it feels safer to tell me because I’m drunk. I’m also pretty damn good at keeping secrets, which means that I’ll never tell another living soul anything that you just said”. Her cheeks flushed slightly when Bryce spoke more about her relationship with Ollie. “He was the first person that I ever loved. I’ve never told anyone that before. Sometimes I wish that we had given things a shot but most of the time I’m relieved that we didn’t. I think I would have destroyed him. I certainly wouldn’t have made him as happy as he is with Lola. I probably would have sabotaged it all and lost him as a friend. I think.... I think it’s safer that I’m just a “what if” in his life rather than a relationship that we tried and failed”, she tried her best to explain. “I’m definitely going to make you carry me to the bedroom next time we fool around” she laughed, leaning slightly into him as they made their way over to the Uber. She said hi to the driver as she got in, smiling warmly at Bryce when he joined her in the backseat.

“It’s actually really nice to think about, but also crazy to know just how small this world is. There could’ve easily been a universe where Ollie and Lola first, and you and I met first. But I’m kinda liking how everything played out...but I’m also pretty shocked we have resorted to having some crazy foursome.” Bryce spoke, the last part of his statement only coming out half-jokingly. “Amber-Jade, I’ve seen the way that man looks at you. It’s obvious that he absolutely adores you, in a friendly way obviously. You not being in his life is what can ruin him.” He assured. It was actually nice knowing that both Amber and Ollie had someone in their life who was practically family, each other. “Judgement free zone here. I may be fucked up, but I’d like to think I’m a decent listener.” He said half-jokingly, his smile growing as he spoke to the redhead. The male nodded his head as the other spoke about being Ollie’s what if, and in that moment he could totally relate. “I get it. It’s the same with me and Lola, honestly. I was completely in love with that girl, but I would’ve destroyed her if I ever took that step with her. Some people just aren’t meant to be, but those two are. I’m already picking out gifts for their wedding.” Again, Bryce laughed softly at his own comment. It was nice having someone like Amber to talk to, someone he could genuinely relate with on a more personally level, making their conversations far from being the typical superficial ones. He laughed along with her at her comment, making a mental note to literally sweep her off of her feet the next time he was with her, a time where she would probably be least expecting it. Getting into the uber, Bryce immediately leaned over and put on the girls seatbelt; he always hated and was always untrusting of Uber’s. He engaged in small talk with the driver as they made their way across town and before he knew it, the driver had been pulling up in front of the beach house. Luckily Rebekah’s car wasn’t in the driveway, meaning that she hadn’t been home. Thanking the driver, he leaned over and pressed the button to release Amber’s seatbelt before stepping out of the car, offering his hands to her when it was her turn to get out. “Time to get you to bed.” He chuckled softly as the driver pulled away.

"It really is crazy, we've all had such an impact on each other's lives but we didn't all meet until we ended up at MU at the same time. It sounds like the plot of a TV show, actually... although if it was a TV show, you and I would have definitely met in NYC and it would end with that crazy foursome", Amber-Jade laughed. "Thank you for saying that, it means a lot to me. I just... I feel like a bad friend sometimes. He's so guilty at having left me alone in that group home even though it was the right thing for him to do and I hate seeing that guilt. I... I've kept things to myself, things that I really should have told him, because I don't want to make him feel more guilty", she explained, feeling like Bryce would understand. "What's the most fucked up thing that you've done?" she asked softly. It sounded like she was prying for information but honestly, she was subtly feeling him out; trying to determine whether she could finally open up to someone about the worst things that she had ever done before those secrets ate her alive. "We were an important chapter for both of them but not the last chapter and that's okay. I've already called dibs on being Ollie's best man, though, so you'll need to find a different position in either the bridal party or groomsmen", she grinned. She smiled softly when he leaned over and buckled up her seatbelt, touched by the gesture, and just listened as Bryce and the Uber driver made small talk. It didn't take long for them to reach the beach house, Bryce undoing her seatbelt and helping her out of the car. "Spoken like a true knight in shining whatever".

Bryce simply just laughed at her interpretation of what seemed to be such a small world. "The world has a very weird way of sorting things out, that's for damn sure. Can't complain though, lead me to you after all." He said, his smile still remaining as he spoke to the redhead. "Between you and I, I think Ollie felt lonely in his foster home. His foster parents are amazing people, don't get me wrong - but I think they bit off more than they could chew. He was seventeen when he got there and was the oldest out of six kids, so he didn't get much attention - I think that's he acted so fucking much. We were literally each other's worst influences." Bryce couldn't help but to chuckle at the distant memory, suddenly missing his friend like crazy. "Listen, I'm not going to pressure you into telling him something you don't want to tell him, but I can tell you first hand that he's the guy you can call in a crisis. He carries a lot of guilt and basically the whole world on his shoulders, but he's damn good in a crisis, and he's loyal. I should fucking hate him for what he did to my sister, but I can't because when it came down to it, he was there for her more than me and my entire family was when it really mattered. I'm sure he's holding on to secrets that he's never told you, or anyone, so he'll understand if you decide to not tell him. And honestly, some things are better to be kept a secret than to be spoken out loud." he explained, completely understanding where she was coming from. Bryce also held onto things that even his greatest, most trustworthy friends didn't even know. He grew silent at her question, truly debating what he should say, or if he should say anything at all. Taking a moment to think about it, he sighed before speaking. "I don't think you want to know that." He easily assumed, his sentence coming out as a mere warning that he wasn't the best person around - far from it actually. "Damn, I can't believe you literally just ripped that title away from me. I didn't even know I had to fight for it! But you would look hot in a tux, so I guess I won't complain too much." He chuckled. He smiled at her comment before playfully rolling her eyes at her, knowing she was very much too drunk if she had viewed him so highly. Bryce leaned forward to grab the keys from her hand, taking her hand into his free one and leading her into the house, through the house, and into her room. He sat her down on the bed before kneeling onto the floor, beginning to take off her shoes and planning on helping her strip the rest of her clothing if needed so she can get comfortable.

"It's cute that you think that meeting me was good luck, I'll check in with you again in a few months and see if you still feel that way", Amber-Jade joked. "I always hoped that the foster home would be better than the group home, that's all I wanted for him. We were always just a number in that place and after he left, it just got worse because I lost the person that helped to keep me sane. I hate knowing that he was lonely in his foster home but I'm glad that he had you, even if the two of you were a destructive combination". Knowing that Ollie had people in his life after her, people that looked after him, was a comforting thought. "This isn't a current crisis, though. This is about what happened after he moved away from the group home and I can't tell him that, not when he already feels so guilty about leaving me alone in that place. He'll never forgive himself if he knows everything that happened. I know that he's a good guy, that he's loyal and good in a crisis, which is why I refuse to tell him. I don't want to be the person that breaks him", she murmured, trusting that Bryce understood what she meant. "If it makes you feel better, I'm pretty damn confident that I have you beat in that department. The most fucked up thing I've ever done, the thing that I won't even tell Ollie? I was selling myself in NYC. I was sleeping in homeless shelters, shoplifting just so that I could eat, and going home with random people so that I'd have a roof over my head for the night. I had no money to my name, no GED, no prospects at all so one night, I decided to charge for the pleasure of my company rather than just giving it out for free". Her voice was emotionless as she spoke, bracing herself for his judgement or rejection. "Play your cards right and maybe you'll be able to sleep with the best man at the reception", she flirted, winking at him. As she sat down on the bed and Bryce started to help her undress, she looked at him with adoring eyes. "Can you... are you staying the night? It would be nice to have the company. I just got back from seeing my father in prison and it's the first time I've seen him since he killed my mom so I don't really want to be alone".

“And you’re completely in denial if you think that I’m joking. You know just for that, I’m going to say meeting you was the greatest luck I could’ve possibly had in a few months, whether it’s true or not.” Bryce laughed, his stubborn nature completely coming out in that very moment. “Yeah, he’s told me some of the shit that would go down in those homes. I’m sorry if you also went through some crap while being in the group home.” His words were sincere as he spoke. Although his parents didn’t pay much attention to him and Allison (at least not as much as their three older siblings), and despite that they were completely emotionally abusive to the two, Bryce couldn’t really complain as things could’ve very much been worse. At least he had a roof over his head every night, and didn’t have to worry about where he was getting his next meal from, at least not like Ollie and Amber-Jade had to. “I get it. I’m the same with my sister. Love the girl to death, and trust her more than I trust anyone, but there’s just some shit I just can’t tell her. I don’t think you’d break him, but also he can surprise me at times. You tell whoever you want to tell, I’m sure he’ll understand either way, and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” He said with a shrug, completely seeing where she had been coming from, especially because he felt the same way with his little sister. Although his facial expression had remained neutral, his heart had practically dropped to the pit of his stomach as she spoke about what had to remain unspoken between her and Ollie — her selling herself. He didn’t know what to say, especially because he knew that this was partially the liquor taking over, her intoxicated state making her so open to him, despite the fact that the two still barely knew each other. He wanted to talk about it further, but knew this wasn't the time. It would just have to wait until the morning when she was sober, and when they were both able to take things a bit more seriously. Still, he didn’t want to just not say anything. “Part of me wants to say that you should tell Ollie, but another part of me says that Ollie would somehow turn into a FBI agent and hunt those mother fuckers down...but shit. I’m sorry you had to go through that, babe. Are you doing better now? Now that you’re here?” He asked in a cautious tone, not really used to this whole being there for someone thing. He typically didn’t talk about heavy things like this with the women he slept with; Lola being the only exception, and now her. “Ooh, dirty wedding sex. How soon do you think I can get Ollie to propose?” Bryce laughed softly. He looked up at the redhead as he tossed her shoes to the side, giving her a shy smile. “It’s adorable that you think I’m leaving you alone when you’re this drunk. I can stay in the spare bedroom, if you want.”

"Even if meeting me was the greatest luck you could have experienced, I'm not going to believe you now. There's always a part of me that will think that you're lying just to win", Amber retorted, childishly poking her tongue out at him. "The group home was a surprise for Ollie because he had loving parents before he was taken into care. My parents were drug addicts; my father was abusive; and I was neglected from a very young age. The group home sucked but it wasn't a huge change for me", she said softly, a somber expression on her face as she actually engaged in an honest and open manner with him. "I'm glad that you get it because most people don't, most people think that someone can't be your best friend if you don't tell them literally every little thing that you've been through. If you don't talk to your sister, who do you talk to?" she asked softly, hoping that he had someone to confide in so that his secrets didn't eat him alive. "I told you that I'd have you beat in the fucked up department", she laughed bitterly. He hadn't recoiled but Amber-Jade had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that he would maybe start to pull away over the next few weeks; subtly and discreetly until it was like they had barely known each other to begin with. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt but life had proven to her that people didn't stay; no matter how badly she wanted them too. "I don't think that I'm ever going to tell Ollie, he'll never forgive himself for leaving me behind if he learns that". She sighed softly when he asked how she was doing now. "Lola lets me live here rent free so that helps; and my scholarship pays for the majority of my tuition. I work three jobs and that's almost enough to survive on; especially if I stick tightly to my budget and don't splurge too much. It's hard but I'm surviving so I don't need to resort to those methods", she assured him. "I've already put money on it, I think he'll be proposing by the end of this year", she said confidently. "Can you sleep here, with me? I'll keep my hands to myself but I just really can't be alone right now. I promise that I'm not trying to blur any lines, I know that we're just screwing around despite my stupid little crush on you but I could really use a friend right now".

"Then you're just going to have to believe me now when I tell you that I'm pretty damn lucky to meet someone who gets it, who gets me." Despite the fact that he had been joking around and laughing, Bryce was completely serious. "I'm sorry you had a rough upbringing and that your parents basically fucking suck. You know, everyone always thinks that my siblings and I had this amazing upbringing because my dad was a very famous hotshot lawyer, mom is a physician. They're the picture perfect couple with the picture perfect kids -- another lawyer, a doctor, a ceo, an airman, and a nurse. We looked great at business parties, but what people really didn't see was the verbal and emotional abuse that went on. Nobody saw how hard my dad was on us, especially Allison. It was a toxic household, and although it was full, it felt empty." He confided, thinking that if the girl had been confiding in him about her life, the least he could do was tell her a bit about his own upbringing. "No one." Bryce stated simply when asked who does he talk to that's not Allison. He was being honest, if he wasn't talking to Allison, he didn't really talk to anyone. He was a master at keeping things to himself, at internalizing everything; so much so, it was basically his normal. "Do you really want to keep something like that from him though? I have my own fucked up shit, but I don't tell anyone because that's just the way I do things. It's not healthy, but that's just the soldier in me, I know how to stand tall on my own. I get that you don't want to make him feel bad, but Amber-Jade he's going to feel bad either way because he didn't want to leave you. I would feel bad too if I left the one person I love just to hear that they struggled a lot. Anyone would feel bad when it comes to their loved ones, that's just the overly protective side of us." He was attempting to be the least bit rational in that moment, thinking the other could very much use some words of wisdom, even if it had made him look like a hypocrite in that very moment. "I'm glad you're doing better, but we should probably talk about this more in the morning...when you're sober." He said in a soft tone, giving her a shy smile to show that he wasn't just trying to drop the conversation. "Yikes, do you think they're ready for that?" He asked, being slightly stung by the possible fact of his best friend and the girl he was still in love with getting engaged so soon. Looking up at Amber-Jade, he smiled. He tossed her shoes to the side, before standing up and making his way towards her wardrobe in order to look for some clothes for her to change in. Grabbing what looked to be an oversized t-shirt, he walked back over to her. Bryce couldn't fight the stupid smile on his face as she basically admitted that she had a crush on him. Hearing the words only caused him to place his hands on either side of her body, bending down just to kiss her softly. "God, you're so fucking cute. I just can't resist you." He said with a soft chuckle before pulling off her shirt, just to replace it with the clean shirt he just got. "I'll sleep with you tonight. Whatever you need, I'm here."

Amber looked at him for a few seconds, trying to gauge whether or not he was serious, before she smiled softly. "Fine, I believe you right now. It'll be harder to convince me in a few months time, though". The reason why Amber-Jade was so quick to believe him was because she felt the exact same way -- it felt refreshing to be around Bryce because he just got her, no matter what fucked up thing she said or how messy her life was. "I never really bought that whole "picture perfect" ideal because most of the people I've met who have come from that background have made it clear that it's fucking awful. I'm really sorry that you and Allison both went through that. People tend to focus on physical abuse like it's the only thing that can damage a child but the verbal and emotional damage is just as scarring", she acknowledged, feeling empathy for both of the siblings and their experiences. "I would tell you to start talking to someone but that would make me a hypocrite considering I do the same thing. If you ever need someone to talk to, though, you know where to find me", she said simply, not wanting to push him into something that he wasn't ready for. "I don't like keeping secrets from him but I think it's necessary. I was going to tell him one night but before I could even get to that part of the story, I saw the expression on his face. He looked gutted at just the mentions of the homeless shelters, of stealing food to survive, of going home with people just so that I'd have a warm bed to sleep in. I had planned to tell him about the rest of it but after seeing that look on his face, I just couldn't. I... I told him that I came close to making that decision to sell myself but that I had met Lola just in time and he looked so fucking relieved. I can't take that relief from him, he doesn't deserve any more hardship in his life. I may not be a soldier like you but I can stand tall on my own too", she explained, trusting that he would understand. "If you want to talk about it more tomorrow, we can. If you want to pretend like I never told you because it's too much, too deep, I'll understand that too". She wanted to give Bryce the out if he needed it; she had put a lot on his plate tonight and didn't want to force him to talk about it further if he didn't want to. "I don't think that day is too far off, sorry. I know it's hard to see someone that you love with someone else", she said quietly, feeling bad for having hurt him by making that off-handed remark about Lola and Ollie. "I'm definitely going to regret telling you about this dumb crush in the morning, I swore that I would take that secret to my grave because I didn't want to get rejected", she admitted, a sheepish expression on his face as he took off her shirt and helped her change into a more comfortable one to sleep in. "Thank you for tonight, Bryce. It really means a lot to me", she said genuinely as she moved to get into bed, pulling down the covers so that he could get into bed beside her once he was ready.

Laughing, Bryce wrapped an arm around her shoulder and brought Amber in close, pressing her lips against her forehead. He had known that there was something about the other that he just resonated with, but he wasn't able to put his finger on it until that very moment. They were both fucked up, in their own ways. She wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, or the type to find the silver lining in everything. She was realistic, and as fucked up as it sounds, he was glad she could relate to him in some way. "And I'm sorry you went through what you did. Looks like we're both train wrecks." He stated only half-jokingly, chuckling softly in order to lighten up the mood. "If there's one thing I've learned over the past six years, it's that therapy isn't for everyone. I don't care what anyone says, saying that therapy is for everyone is complete bullshit. I just do better when I don't talk about things, it's a bit backwards, but I guess that's just how I function." He shrugged. "Sooo, you lied to him? Now I'm beginning to question this whole best friend thing." Bryce gave the other a sheepish smile, knowing that this was very much beginning to turn into a messy situation. It wasn't as though he would ever tell the other male; he wouldn't break Amber's confidence like that, and it wasn't as though the two men were talking in that moment. "Listen, I'm not going to pressure you to talk to him if you really believe that he won't be able to it. Just - Just don't let this eat you alive. You have someone who loves you, who really loves you and who'd probably go to the end of the earth for you. I know what that's like because I have a sister who can be a bit over protective, that's family. He's your family. But like you said, best friends don't have to know everything...but if you ever needed to talk to him about something, I know Ollie well enough to know that he'll put any personal feelings aside if needed. Remember that." Despite the fact that the two men weren't on the best of terms, Bryce still wanted to speak on behalf of Ollie. He had always found himself admiring and idolizing the other male due to his resilience and the way he was always able to get past all of the hardships. "It's not too much, trust me. I'm not trying to dismiss anything, but I don't know if you've noticed, but you're really drunk right now." The last part of his statement came out with a laugh, smiling at how just freaking adorable she was in this very moment. This smile and laugh immediately diminished when hearing that there was a high chance that Ollie will be proposing, and that even Amber thought that the day was quickly off. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't hurt and even a bit annoyed with himself, but he would never admit that or show it. "I'm fine." He said in a neutral tone, shrugging his shoulders as his facial expression grew hard and emotionless. "Well, would you regret it if I told you that stupid little crush may be reciprocated? And that I happen to really adore you?" Bryce spoke softly, kissing her once more before helping her get changed. He took off her pants so that she wasn't confined in her jeans, although with her state of intoxication, she probably wouldn't have even noticed. Keeping his clothes on, he took off his shoes before getting into bed next to her, opening his arms so that he could hold her if that's what she wanted. "I need you to promise me something..." He began, finding himself not being able to go to sleep as he really wasn't able to drop the sudden news of her past. "You call me or Ollie if you ever need anything, okay? I don't care what time it is, or how much you need...you come to me. Whether you need one dollar or one hundred, you call and we'll figure that shit out together if you don't want all of my money. I don't want you going back to that place...I don't want you to ever feel as though you ever have to resort to selling yourself to some sleazy guy with a micro penis just because you need to pay off a bill. I know I can speak for both me and Ollie when I say that you're not alone anymore. You have two people, maybe even more, ready whenever you need us. And if you don't want to talk to anyone else about it, then I need you to at least promise that you'll talk to me. I don't care what time, I don't care what's going on, and I don't care if it's years from now and we're not even speaking -- you come find me. Promise me that."

Amber smiled fondly when he wrapped his arm around her and pressed his lips against her forehead. She was trying her best to pretend that her stupid little crush on Bryce didn't exist, not wanting to put her heart on the line and inevitably get crushed; or to scare him away when he realized that her feelings weren't completely platonic. Most of the time, it was easy enough to pretend that nothing had changed at her end but during soft moments like this, when her entire world narrowed to the feeling of his lips on her skin, she knew that she was well and truly fucked. "This is going to sound fucked up, like I'm glad that you're a mess like me, but I promise that's not what I mean. I am genuinely sorry that you went through all that crazy shit but I think the reason why I find it so easy to be around you is because you get it. You get me", she said softly. "Trust me, I wasn't preaching therapy", she laughed. "Lola had to drag me kicking and screaming to a grief support group, I'm definitely not telling anyone to go to therapy. I more meant a trusted person in your life, someone to go to if you can't talk to Allison", she clarified. "I know, I'm the worst friend in the world", she groaned, burying her head in her hands. "I promise that I'm not letting it eat me alive. I did some fucked up things, things I'm not proud of, but I did it to survive because life dealt me a truly shitty hand. I wish that I hadn't had to resort to sex work and it's definitely not something that I'm proud of considering you're the first person that I've ever told about it but I did what I needed to do. You know Ollie better than almost anyone else... do you think that it's information that he'd want to know or do you think it's information that will eat away at him?" she questioned. "Like I said, it's not eating away at me but if it will eat away at him, I'll stand by my decision to take that information to my grave". Ollie's wellbeing meant the world to her and she refused to destroy him just to make herself feel better by being honest. "I'm a little drunk", she corrected even though Bryce was right; she just didn't want to admit how badly her prison visit had fucked with her head. "It's okay if you aren't fine. I wasn't really fine when I came to MU and realized that he was in a happily committed relationship. I think I always held onto a little bit of hope that he might end up with me but that's not the way that life worked out and that's okay. I'd rather he be happy, even if it's with someone other than me". This was just yet another thing that they had in common. "I'd only regret it if you didn't mean it, if it's just something that you were saying because I'm drunk and pretty wrecked right now", she told him, finding herself desperately hoping that it was true; that it wasn't just a line that he was throwing out to make her feel better. She didn't hesitate before moving into his arms, her head resting on his chest like this was routine for them; something that they had done a hundred times before and would do a hundred times ago. She looked up at him when he asked her to make a promise, trying to gauge whether or not he was serious. "I promise", she said softly. She found that she actually meant it, that despite years of being fiercely independent and standing on her own two feet, she was willing to put her faith in this man; to trust him with her darkest secrets and come to him if things ever got rough again.

Bryce knew that it was beginning to happen again. He was beginning to fall for yet another girl that was nearly as fucked up as he was. The last time he felt this instant connection with someone, the last time he truly blurred the lines with someone was Lola - after his late girlfriend died. He knew that he should be running for the hills, or at least setting firmer boundaries, but he found himself truly not being able to resist Amber-Jade. From the moment they met, he's found her to be breathtaking, vibrant, and had that fire in her soul that he was always a sucker for. It was only a matter of time before the lines between the two were completely blurred, kind of how they were with Lola at one point; in which the two were together, but not together - this weird limbo in which no one could really pin point what was going on. "No, I completely get it. I feel the same way, just didn't want to say it out loud because it sounds fucked." He laughed, thankful that the two were on the same page when it came to the topic. "Good, because my parents have been trying since my girlfriend died. Pretty sure they were even considering shock therapy and one of those creep Christian camps at one point. But who's your person if you don't talk to Ollie?" He asked curiously, trying to remain open minded about not being so closed off. Bryce took a moment to really think about her question, and to put himself into Ollie's mind; trying to figure out what the other male would probably say if he were in this position. "I think he would tell you that he'd love you no matter what you tell him. At the end of the day he would just want you to be okay, just like he wants everyone to be okay. It's your dirty laundry, so at the end of the day who you tell and don't tell is up to you." He said in a soft tone, giving her a sheepish smile after. It was a difficult situation, but it wasn't any of his business. "I'm fine, Amber-Jade." Bryce said once again, putting up that wall. He didn't want to talk about his relationship with Lola, his strained friendship with someone he considered to be a brother, and the fact that he was even having the feelings he was currently having in that very moment. He shook his head, essentially snapping himself out of whatever was going on in his head. He then focused his attention back onto the redhead. Chuckling at her comment, he leaned back in and kissed her, this time the kissing lingering for a bit longer than normal. "Do you think I didn't mean it?" He asked as he pulled away, his lips just barely grazing over hers. He kissed the top of her head as the other made their way closer to his body. Bryce found himself holding onto her as if she was suddenly going to vanish. But in all honesty, he just didn't want to let go, not after she had opened up to him about something so dark. The moment felt vulnerable, intimate, and yet so perfect. "Thank you...I care about you, Amber-Jade. Like, I really fucking care about you."

Amber had no intention of developing feelings for anyone at MU but without her even realizing it, Bryce had managed to work his way under her skin. She was capable of separating sex from emotions as it was something that she had practiced for years now, never allowing herself to become emotionally attached to anyone that she was sleeping with, yet he was quickly proving to be the exception to that rule. It was both exhilarating and terrifying. "It really is fucked but I'm glad that you feel it too... if I was the only one, I'd know that I need professional hope", Amber joked, laughing along with him. She didn't flinch when he told her about his girlfriend dying; the two of them truly taking everything in stride when it came to the revelations in their friendship. She knew what it was like to tell someone something personal, only for them to have a dramatic or judgemental reaction; it just caused you to shut down further and she never wanted to be responsible for that, especially not when she cared about him so much already. "I'm glad your parents didn't get their way, shock therapy and creepy Christian camps are a terrible way to deal with grief. Besides, I happen to like you the way you are; without shock therapy fucking up your brain or that creepy camp converting you to organized religion". She didn't say that she was sorry for his loss because it really didn't help anything but she took his hand, softly running her thumb over his skin; wordlessly conveying that she was here for him. "I know that it doesn't seem like it but Ollie's still my person. I tell him everything else, I just can't bring myself to talk about the... the sex work. I guess that kind of makes you one of my people too, considering you're the only person I've ever told about that". She nodded her head slightly at his opinion on how Ollie would likely react to that news. "I'll think about telling him, I'm just not ready for that yet", she said after considering his response for a few seconds. "I know that you're fine. I'm just saying that it's okay not to be fine sometimes, I'm a living example of that". She wasn't going to push him to talk about Lola and Ollie, essentially dropping the topic there. She kissed him back, a fond smile on her face when he pulled away. "No one has ever meant it before. I've never meant it before. I've only really had romantic feelings for two people in my life and I wasn't exactly telling them how I felt; or pursuing a relationship with them", she explained. "It's terrifying but I really fucking care about you too. I didn't mean for it to happen, you just got under my skin without me even realizing it".

Bryce laughed at Amber’s soft joke. It was crazy how the two were so much alike — it was probably why they got along so well. He hadn’t even realized that he had mention Jess, someone he still held very near and dear to his heart. The man never really talked about her to anyone, the only people who really knew about her being his siblings, and Ollie. Lola and Avery knew about her, but even then he tried to steer away from that conversation. And yet, he had just blurted it out as if it was nothing, blurting out the one thing that made him weak in the knees. It was probably a good thing that Amber didn’t really respond to that part of his statement, because knowing him he would’ve very much began freaking out, and reverting back to his old ways. “Damn, imagine if I really did go to Christian camp...holy shit. I probably wouldn’t be as good in bed as I am.” He laughed softly. When she took his hand, he immediately brought their hands up to his lips, kissing hers softly before lowering them. “Hey, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. It’s your business, and your friendship. I just happen to be the person who knows both of you, but no judgement here.” He assured. Bryce let out a sigh as the other went on to say that it was okay if he wasn’t fine. In all honesty, he was far from fine in that moment. Although the two had been joking about the couple getting married, he didn’t actually think it was being brought into consideration. He knew that Ollie loved Lola, but he also loved Allison, from what his concern was. Bryce never would’ve expected Ollie to really consider spending the rest of his life with one person, and in that moment he felt as though a huge bomb had been dropped; and that another bomb would soon be dropped if Amber was right and a proposal was in the works. Still, he refused to speak about it further, and he had been really fighting to not just put Amber to bed and head to the bar just to fuck his feelings away using some random girl. But he couldn’t just leave her here, not when she was this intoxicated. “I just don’t believe that. I bet you have your fair share of admirers, they’re probably just out in hiding somewhere.” He said with a smile. “You’re talking to the guy who’s infamous for not talking about his feelings. I’ve only had romantic feelings for three girls, two of them I constantly ran away from as soon as those said feelings were talked about.” Once again, he laughed. Although, he did end up shaking his head in mere disappointment, as his running had resulted in breaking both Lola’s and Avery’s heart continuously. “Same goes you. I don’t know what it is about you, but I just can’t seem to stay away.” He said in a quiet voice. Still holding her in his arms, he brought one hand up to her face, his thumb gently stroking her cheek before tilting her head up. He leaned down slightly to press a gentle kiss onto her lips. “You should get some rest, babe. You’re really going to be feeling this tomorrow.”

Amber could instinctively tell that she had made the right decision by not focusing on the comment about his deceased girlfriend, having a strong feeling that it would have caused Bryce to immediately put his walls back up. "Honestly, I think you would be kinkier if you had gone to Christian camp. You would have all this built up energy and when you finally got a chance to unleash that, it would have been wild", Amber-Jade told him, laughing along with him. "I know that you aren't judging me, I guess I just wanted your feedback about what you thought was the right thing to do because you do know both of us and I trust your judgement", she explained. She really regretted having made that joking comment about Lola and Ollie potentially getting engaged soon because even though she believed that it was true, it had clearly bothered Bryce; even if he was refusing to let on. She decided to drop the topic, though, not wanting to push any further as she was worried that it would upset him further and affect the relationship that she and Bryce had been building. "If they're hiding, they're doing a very good job of it", she said, laughing off his comment as she really didn't believe it. "You literally sound like me right now. I literally never told the first person that I had feelings for them and when it came to the second person, I basically dropped out of high school and never talked to them again after I realized that there was potential there. I had other shit going on at the time that also contributed to the decision to drop out of high school but honestly, it was a fucked up thing for me to do and she definitely deserved better". Bryce's relationship history didn't scare her off as that would have been incredibly hypocritical considering her own past relationships. "I don't want you to stay away, I'm pretty infatuated with you", she said softly, smiling fondly when he gently kissed her lips. "Promise that you'll stay?" she asked a little nervously as she got into bed, knowing that he was right and that she should start sleeping it off.

"I don't think I would even have survived a place like that. Either that, or I would've lowkey been corrupting all the girls there." Bryce said with a soft laugh. "I think you should just follow whatever your gut is telling you to do. Don't make your decision based off what I'm saying." He said with a soft smile. He personally thought Ollie should know, considering that if there was anyone who could've possibly said the right thing in this very moment, it was him. But he also understood where Amber was coming from. Ollie had always been notorious for holding the entire world on his shoulders, as he always wanted to save every one, and yet always simultaneously put himself on the back burner. He was certainly glad that the other dropped the topic that was Lola and Oliver. This was something he wasn't ready to talk about; and quite frankly, he was still in the process of fully and truly getting over the girl. "Or maybe you just haven't realized who's pining after you from a far. So let me make it a bit more clear. Consider me one of your admirers." The two had already admitted their crushes for one another, so he didn't see what the big deal was of making this comment. "Feelings fucking suck. That shit gets a bit too complicated for me. It's always been easier to just run away than to ruin something that's already so good with feelings." He ranted for just a brief moment. Bryce was glad that he had someone to relate to, especially about this. In that moment, he was convinced that the reason why he was so drawn to the redhead was because of the fact that the two were the same in some ways. He continued to hold her, his hand gently running up and down her back as she laid in his arms. Although this was supposed to be him comforting her, he found a bit of serenity from the gesture. He could hold her forever, and a part of him actually wanted to do so. "I'll be here when you wake up. Promise." He assured, keeping his voice in a mere whisper as the two laid in the dark, the only sounds filling the air being those of their voices and their subtle breathing.

"I definitely think that you would have been corrupting everyone, you would have been the sexual awakening for a lot of girls", Amber-Jade teased. "My gut instinct is almost always to keep things hidden, I'm not exactly a fan of talking about my feelings or difficult topics", she admitted. She knew that it wasn't exactly healthy but she had been raised to never really talk about things, no matter how bad they got. It was hard to shake that habit, even though she was older and somewhat wiser these days. She wasn't just worried about how Ollie would react to this new information; but how hard it would be for her to initiate that conversation with him. "We'll see if you still admire me in the morning. Maybe it's just something that you're saying to make me feel better about my confession because you think that I won't remember tomorrow", she joked; although honestly, there was a small part of her that worried that might actually be the case. "Can we promise to try not to do that with each other? I know that we'll probably both be tempted to run at some point because it's easier and familiar but I don't want you to be another person that I leave behind", she admitted. She wasn't usually so honest with people but she felt comfortable around Bryce and it was certainly easier to make such disclosures when they were lying together in the dark. "Thank you for tonight", she said softly, shifting her position slightly so that she could press her lips gently against his.

Bryce chuckled at the comment and shook his head, finding the theoretical scenario to be rather absurd, but also something that he would manage to do. “I would’ve gotten kicked out in at least two weeks. And I’m sure they’d throw holy water on me to make sure I don’t burn.” He joked back, continuing to laugh at the thought. “You know what? I can’t even say anything about that because then I would be the biggest hypocrite. Sometimes it’s just better to remain quiet. Avoids all of the feelings and difficulty of things.” He immediately agreed with her. Bryce wasn’t going to force her to do anything she didn’t want to do; so if she wanted to keep this personal and to herself, he wasn’t going to judge. He had no right to judge. “It’ll fucking suck if you don’t remember this tomorrow, because I don’t think I can admit all of this again.” He chuckled. He really was fond of Amber, and admired her entirely. “I’ll promise to try...although I really don’t want to run away from you. You already mean a whole lot to me, Amber-Jade.” His voice was soft as he spoke, and he could feel himself becoming more and more vulnerable as the seconds continued to pass. Bryce immediately brought his hand up to her cheek as she leaned up and placed her lips against his, cupping it gently as he deepened the kiss just for a quick moment. “I’m just glad you’re safe. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

"Getting kicked out of one of those schools is basically rock bottom, Bryce. They think that they can save everyone, what does that say about you if you would have gotten kicked out in two weeks?" Amber-Jade teasingly questioned, winking at him to let him know that she was just joking. "Life really fucked us up, huh?" It was rather selfish but she was a little relieved to know that she wasn't the only person that bottled things up and avoided talking feelings, even though it was one of the unhealthiest ways to live. "I didn't drink enough to be blackout drunk, I'm going to remember this in the morning", she assured him. Honestly, it was half-assurance and half-warning; letting him know that she would still remember the nature of his feelings in the morning. "I promise to try, too. I don't want you to be just another part of my past, a giant 'what if?'" she admitted. She said nothing further, instead just smiling warmly at him when he promised that he would be there in the morning; those words making her feel safe enough to drift off to sleep.

"Me getting kicked out would make me legendary." Bryce stated simply, laughing before dropping the topic. He really just wanted the girl to get some rest, although he did really enjoyed talking to her. Tonight had been a weird night for him. What started off with him just getting a few drinks at the local bar, only ended with him not only saving Amber from something that could've ended badly, bringing her home to safety, expressing that he was basically pining over her, and was now holding her in bed as if it was a routine thing for them to do. To say that it had been a whirlwind of emotions even for him, and he was actually sober. He simply nodded as she mentioned that she didn't want him to be one of her what ifs, nonverbally agreeing with her. He pressed a kiss on the top of her head before leaning over slightly to turn off the last light on, officially leaving them in the dark. It wasn't long before he also drifted off to a deep slumber, and in the morning she would wake up to a nice breakfast in bed.

[reesegetslost-blog]

Eat, Pray, Love...In China??

2018 was a rough year for me!

My final year in University began in Fall 2017 with a study abroad semester in Spain. Within the first few weeks of my study abroad my then boyfriend and I had broken up. Having previously gone through many breakups with him throughout the years, this was nothing new. That is to say, I was fine with everything, and I was in a really good place in my life.

Spain was a magical time and experience for me. I fell in love with the country. I fell in love with the fact that all my academics were in a foreign language that I knew well. And most of all I loved my beautiful and wonderful host families with their beautiful and wonderful children!

Gosh! I can’t wait to live there one day (because it’s gonna happen)!

After my long-time boyfriend and I broke up sometime after my birthday, I reminded myself that I was living in Madrid and should not let this rain cloud ruin such a wonderful life opportunity.

Therefore I rallied. I began using my time to focus on myself and continued to develop my language skills. Beautiful Spanish city, with beautiful Spaniards? There was nothing else to do but live my best life.

But I also used this time to focus on getting back to myself and learning how to be alone again. Exploring different parts of Madrid, making new friends and eating tortilla española with a good book on every terraza possible were how most of my days went. I got back to being the happy, care-free, stress-free me that I lost for a very long time.

I felt happy. And light.

And then….the bullshit.

I returned to my University campus in January of 2018. My school was a small, predominantly white liberal arts school in the middle of nowhere. As this was my last semester in school I just wanted to eat my fruits, drink my water, go to the gym, and mind my business!

But upon my return the happy and carefree me struggled with maintaining my happy. School work always provided a way for me to drown out the trash happening around me and just focus on concrete things. But, alas, it was my senior year so my course load was the lightest it had ever been. I couldn’t drown out the bullshit.

Upon my return I was immediately welcomed back with open arms from people I knew. They were quick to ask me about my time abroad and how great it was. Ya know. The usual talk. Then it quickly turned into questions about my relationship. Kinda went like this:

They: “So are you guys still together?”

Me: “Nah. Didn’t work out. Ya know. Shit happens.”

They: “Oh girl. Sorry to hear that but you’re better off.”

Me: “….I mean it wasn’t a bad split….why am I better off?”

They: “Well you know cause you deserve better. Especially after what happened over the summer.”

Me: “….Summer?”

They: “Oh you know last summer when he was here.”

Me: “….Over summer?”

*Just for clarification: Ex-bae was a year ahead of me so he graduated May 2017. So this refers to Summer 2017*

And it’s clear from this conversation that the proverbial tea was spilled. Cold tea for them. Scalding hot—burn your tongue cause ya drank it too fast—tea for me.

Here it was I was hearing so much SHIT (ALL THE SCANDALS! OK?) about him that all these people—people who loved chilling, and hanging out with me, who had the AUDACITY to call themselves my friends and smile up in my face!—knew whatever they knew for MONTHS (SHIIDD maybe even YEARS) and no one told me shit.

LOL Ain’t that some shit?

Anyway.

Needless to say that it was a very dark semester for me. Spiralling from shock. Confronting said ex-bae and still not getting any solid answers. (Sometimes ya just don’t need closure!) Not knowing whom to trust.

I cut a lot of people off that year! If you used to say Hello to that young man you were out!

Lol kidding… maybe…

ANYWAY!

The worst thing about it was that I saw myself turning into a person I did not like very much. There were months where everyday I would wake up in some combination of pissed off and sad. The light, care-free me from Spain was no where to be found. Which made me even more pissed off and sad because I was in a seriously good place before I went back to that Blackhole of a University. 

But like a worker bee, I had to keep moving forward. Grad school applications were either in progress or submitted so at least I had that to look forward to right? I would be onto a new future soon right?…….RIGHT?!

Haha…

I was the type of person who always had a plan. Then a back-up plan. Then a back-up to the back-up. And as a last resort an emergency or exit strategy. So grad school was always the #1 plan for me after graduation.

LOL So funny.

EVERY. SINGLE. SCHOOL. Rejected me. Except 1 program at this amazing school, but that was my Safety Programme. But in those weeks I saw my top plan drifting off in the wind, taking what little sanity I had with it. *eye twitch*

So onto The Back-up Plan right? Right. Grad school wasn’t an option for this year. So that presented an opportunity for me to go out there and get some work experience. As an international student with an F-1 visa I could apply for OPT and work in America for a year. Ok. Cool. That was the new plan. Great.

Haha. I spent MONTHS applying for every job out there. Undergoing multiple job interviews over these months. Passing many rounds. But never got a single job offer. Haha what a time.

Thus, when graduation approached I was happy to be leaving the Sinking Ship that was my University days. Honestly I wanted to run away. If you spoke to me in those days I would tell you that changing my name and moving to a foreign country where no one knows you is a form of self-care. I stand by that.

But I needed to get away from EVERYONE and EVERYTHING that I knew. With going back home to The Bahamas as my emergency/exit strategy, I wasn’t too happy with that plan. I wasn’t done with the world, although the world was showing me that it was done with me.

But before graduation came an interesting opportunity to teach English for a year in China. China rang bells in my head because it was literally so far from everyone I knew. This was going to be my new fresh start. I would know nobody and nothing. Not even Chinese, because I studied Spanish and Italian for the last 4 years.

Thus, having The Discussion with my family led to many blank stares and confusion on their part. My mother would come to me every few hours just to make sure.

Mum: “China?! What in China you wan see?”

Me: “I just need to go far for a bit…”

Mum: “But China? What about Spain? You did like Spain!”

Me: “Not far enough.”

Brother: “What you tryna run away from? Come tell ya brother. Cause I need to understand!”

Me: “ *laughing tryna hold back tears* Gee y’all. I am a world traveller! Why I can’t go to China?”

Mum: “Cause it so far! Who you know over there? He (Ex-bae) hurt you that bad that you wan go that far?”

Me: “Yes! Gee! Let me just run away in peace! Y’all lucky ine dropping off the planet! China is happening ok??!”

Brother: “…well make sure they don’t steal ya passport please…”

This exact conversation happened literally almost everyday over the summer months.

But I would not be deterred! This was my chance to get back to myself; to find myself once again. Cause this new, unfamiliar Reese was not working for me. This was my fresh start.

As my brother would put it: “You tryna be on ya Eat, Pray, Love tip aye?”

Basically yeah.

So this is some background on how/why this blog was created. Or how/why I ended up in China.

This blog is going to be about my new travel/life experiences, as I go about trying to get back to Me.

So cheers to getting lost!

XOXO

Lil Reesey

P.S. Whoever put Obeah on my 2018 or whoever playing with my voodoo doll…Can ya ease up and let me live for a bit? Thanks!