We are interrupting our regularly scheduled program to bring you a snippet of a potential ZoSan undercover as a married couple fic:
(Timeline wise shoehorned in sometime shortly after the timeskip, before the Strawhats make it back into the news big time.)
(People need saving from a exclusive circle of nobility, but most of the Stawhats have already been seen around the island, so the lot ends up on Zoro and Sanji to try get in posing as a freshly married couple on their honeymoon to try get more information.)
[after coming up with the plan and Zoro and Sanji hesitantly agreeing]
Robin: "You seem a little stressed, Cook-san."
Sanji, chain-smoking his third cigarette: "I'm fine, I'll do this… I just… I don't like lying about something as significant as marriage, alright? I know it's stupid, but that's just how I am."
Luffy, perking up from where one might have thought he wasn't paying attention at all: "Oi, Sanji, promise to protect Zoro?"
Sanji, puffing out smoke: "Obviously, the Marimo would get lost within all of two seconds without me having his back."
Luffy: "Good! Now, Zoro--!"
Zoro, already rising to the bait: "Oi, if anyone is protecting anyone, I'll be guarding your lanky ass, shit cook!"
Luffy, laughing: "Alright, then as the captain of this ship I hereby pronounce you married!"
Zoro:
Sanji:
Robin: "Oh my, congratulations!"
Brook: bursts into song
Luffy, grinning at Sanji: "See, now it's not a lie anymore, so you don't have to feel bad about calling Zoro your husband."
Zoro: "LUFFY!!! YOU CAN'T JUST--"
Sanji: wordlessly walks off to get ready for the mission
Usopp: "Wait, wait!" runs after Sanji, grabbing his wrist
Sanji: stares
Usopp, sweating nervously: "Need your ring size…"
Sanji: staring intensifies
Usopp, scurrying off as quickly as humanly possible: "Wedding gift!"
Luffy, in the distance, still being yelled at by Zoro: "Too bad we don't have time to celebrate, I really want some wedding cake… :("
jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware.
Watching "Neverafter" for the first time (yay!) and wow, I've never been more distracted while watching a show in my LIFE... Because they're all so attractive? What is this sorcery?!