#hello art history minor i am kissing you and you only

[extravagantliar]

We all know that I love a good foil. I don’t need to break down what a foil is overall, but foils do have categories, and some of these foils overlap thematically, interlinking the story further together. They can be in grammar or in tone; they can be reflective or in multitude. Foils are themes that continue to rise and fall within a story, and we all know that themes are ideas that artists continue to return to, time and time again. This is part one of two pieces regarding Varric Tethras and Solas, sourcing details from DAI but not DATV spoiler-free on a technical foul.

Introductory & Narrative Foils --

To start at the end seems wrong; let us start in the middle of the story, upon a hill as most things start. We do not know how Solas and Varric met; however, we do know they were both in the same place at nearly the same time. One was implored to be there by want, and the other was implored by the need of others, via an arrest. Neither of these are self-serving or selfless as they are inaction in a greater action at play by the underlying narrative within DAI, which is presented as our narrative villain, even if the villain is still unseen and is painted as a hidden threat oncoming. 

“I am a prisoner, just like you - Varric Tethras, storyteller, rouge, and unwelcome tagalong.”

“My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions.” 

Our introductions seem simple but can be broken down and become more complex with tone and movement. Varric is fanfare and flourishes over his name, quickly moving away from who he is and what he wants people to see him as. It leads to a sense of arrogance and almost pride around those words. Varric’s introduction is also longer, punctuated with a full stop that he will not be allowed in the valley, whereas Cassandra had no qualms with Solas, at least outwardly. 

Solas makes his opening in the middle of a squabble—seemingly humble. However, while Varric waited for an opening with his words, Solas seeks an opening, a glimmer of one and takes it, introducing himself with less flourish and fanfare, which at least thematically makes him seem more trustworthy. No additional names are given and no status, but it is the first time that a nickname appears—Varric states that he is Chuckles, a new name. 

“I am pleased to see that you still live.” 

“What he means is - ‘I kept that mark from killing you while you slept.’”

I also find this dialogue interesting, as Solas is more than keen to let others leave things as he states them; however, Varric is not content with those words. He allows the whole picture to be seen, rather than obfuscating a half-truth led by the other, as Solas leads the dialogue even when Cassandra and Varric bicker. The words are also a foil on their own; one is sincere, and the other is not - one is a joke, and the other is a truth. 

Which is which all depends on how one hears those words and the headspace one is in. Both are friendly and outgoing; only one comes off as prideful. This does not mean words are prideful, nor are words demure or as they seem. Instead, it is, in fact, two men obscuring their true paths intentionally and unintentionally. 

This continues through banter within the game - a test and trial of wit between the pair. It is a long game that becomes a test of mettle and glib almost. They are intellectual matches and physically - yet that will shift with time and space to come, deepening a breech in narrative much like Varric’s in his years away from his own family. 

Artistic Foils --

Art is a craft in many forms.

Buon Frescos (true fresh) - Wet lime plaster, limited timeframe to lay colour and place the art. Frescos in English have come to mean any painting plastered to a wall, regardless of the style or mineral used. While we will never know the style or pigments that Solas uses, it is easy to imply that this is his favoured medium (not fresco-secco - or dry frescos) as the pigments that dry in the rotunda are bright and throughout the game, you see many frescos that have withheld the test of time. Fresco-Secco is something that flakes and does not take to the stone and tends to fade in time. Many known Buon Frescos still survive today, while those of the Secco style are beginning to fall to the test of time.

Buon Frescos are also a race against time. They are wet plaster; you have one chance to place the colour and limited hours to ensure it is correct. There is little margin for error, and any misstep can be detrimental to the lime or the workstone itself. Most Buon Frescos are finished within a day, if not hours, and large images are done in sections so the artist can control the drying time. These frescos are customarily used to tell and hold religious information or cultural context rather than any lettering, as writing does not hold up in the lime. Yet, names are rarely lost to time for those who create large frescos due to the amount of work and money they require. 

Novels - Words on parchment and circulated wildly on paper or wrapped in leather. Historically, literature was much more anonymous, as typically, stories written and published were retellings of religious stories or publications of travels. Secular novels were not the norm, but they did exist and did not have the same support of religious arts. Bards and Scops would generally tell the stories far and wide, rather than an author making a living off those works.

Novels and books overall would take days or weeks to edit, and copies would either be crudely copied or printed off a smaller press, leaving them open to errors or changes depending on the printer. Printers would also print regardless of who asked, with no regard to medium - instead, wanting to be paid for the work. Hand copying would be tiresome and expensive. 

Frescos take hours to dry; words take hours to edit - Solas has seven completed new frescos and one incomplete by the end of DAI - Varric has seven completed books and one incomplete by the end of DAI. 

Opposing art forms do not make a foil; however, the duality of how these forms work must not be overlooked. Both are considered fast art forms; one must be completed quickly, while the other can be completed quickly, which is not always true. One is a man out of time, lost to the art form he is reviving, and the other is a wash in time and written word, as if they, too, will not be lost in the river of time.

Foils and Names --

Solas - from Old Irish for Light. Canonically - Pride

Varric - from Old German, wandering power or leader who defends  Canonically - not given

I love linguistics. This doesn’t need an explanation. 

They both carry a multitude of titles, and I am not going to unpack DATV’s wrench in it. However, the titles they carry can be considered of an astral one for one and an earthly variance for the other. However, considering their paradox at the end of it all - that too can be flipped if one frames it just so. 

Foils and Finality --

This was written before DATV, and I’m not changing a word:

Fates and Finality are always hard, but the long march towards the ending of a story that one man cannot put down as the other tries to repair the wrongs of a past, and they can be swapped. Grief is a funny five-lettered word that makes the most settled and structured person reach in desperation. 

Pain is a shared medium between the pair; loss is something that they have known and cradled in a deep-cutting way; however, one who wallows isn’t living; it is the one who is walking who is. 

[happyely3]

Pairing: [Ryomen Sukuna x Fem!Reader]

Genre/summury: |slice of life|- |Smut| - |fluff| -|Cuddle| - You’ve had a hard day and what you need is to pull the plug completely. Sukuna knows exactly what to do.

Word Count:

Warnings: |18+|smut|Consensual sex| Sukuna brings you to exhaustion| |All characters are of age. This story is +18| Minors don't interact|

You still couldn’t believe that you were finally back in the two-room apartment you had been sharing with Sukuna for almost three months. Yet you finally arrived, you had closed the door behind you and you threw your backpack and all your art material in the corner of the entrance, you took off your shoes and socks, You threw them into the dirty laundry basket and headed quickly to the kitchen to get something to eat. You opened the fridge and you took a dip in the cold cuts you had opened the night before, grabbing a piadina and composing it quickly, then you took the pan from the shelf above you put everything on the fire to heat that meal quickly. The hunger that had caught you was sudden and the cramps in your stomach were even more painful. "Don’t you say hello anymore?" Sukuna’s voice was a step away from you, her big hands appeared to embrace you from behind your back and her lips settled on your neck in a quick kiss that had left your skin burned at that point. You sighed at that touch, but withheld a groan. "Excuse me, Kuna, but I swear I’m starving." You answered by leaning against his broad chest and turning to kiss him on the cheek, corresponding to the tattoo that marked his jaw. Sukuna laughed slowly turning your piadina to prevent it from burning: "Was it a hard day?" He asked you then as he leaned on your back and inhaled your perfume, as if only your smell could calm him. He loved how the essence that he had given you a long time ago perfectly married to you.

"You can’t imagine. I arrived early to class and fortunately or otherwise I would have had to follow the lesson on the steps, we were too many and in addition the teacher arrived late and to complete the whole lesson made us lose half an hour lunch. The next lesson started soon after and so to not lose my seat I skipped lunch. Then the coffee machine literally left us in thirteen, abandoned us during the history of ancient art lessons! You know what a tragedy this is!" You said, sulking and making your boyfriend laugh. Sukuna has tightened himself to you and you have removed the piadina from the fire. "Then I had a review of a project, and the professor was going to take my world apart. I wanted to kill her!" You concluded by telling how your project had undergone a drastic change and that this would disrupt your exam plans and your timetable. Sukuna left you a kiss on the shoulder, reassuring you that you would still be able to get all your exams on time and if you needed help you could ask him. "You? What day did you have?" You asked while enjoying your snack, lunch, dinner. You didn’t have the strength to cook anything else and would have convinced Sukuna to get something to go. Maybe a good sushi.

"I’ve been in the lab all day, fighting with my colleagues." Sukuna replied by showing you the design of the machine for the exhibition of his mechanical engineering faculty: "Testosterone to never end." He added, making you laugh and imagine the scene in question, among all the colleagues of Sukuna there was a strange competition to be the alpha male: "Also my colleges envy us and they made me understand it in every way possible and imaginable. They still can’t figure out how I have a girlfriend." He added Sukuna by pinching your side slightly to have a bite of the piadina. "Am I in withdrawal?" You laughed by offering him that quick meal and then finishing it quickly to turn towards your boyfriend and hug him. You felt Sukuna’s hands clenching your hips and then coming down on your thighs to lift you up onto the kitchen countertop. "Kunaa!" You moaned as you tied your neck to her and Sukuna laughed hard and kissed your neck, then your jaw and finally your lips in a slow kiss full of passion that left you with an electric shock along the spine. "Please tell me you don’t have any crazy plans or studies for this evening as a program." Sukuna had detached himself from you and you protested against it. His crimson eyes were chained to yours, and your cheeks were red. You were about to answer him when his phone started ringing insistently. Sukuna grunted, hated to be interrupted on important matters. "Fuck you what?" You heard the voices of Sukuna’s colleagues on the phone telling him they had to spend a night finishing the project.

"The deadline is next week, next Friday." He had answered without too many words and raising an eyebrow. You loved it when your man took that expression angry, that expression of test to say only another bullshit and I make you swallow. You bit your lip thinking of that scene. Underneath you wanted to see him lose control and bring out that violent side he reserved only for the people he hated. "I have a life outside of you assholes." He said, emphasizing the last words with a look directed to you, too eloquent and you smiled caressing his forearm with nails at the height of tattoos. Another couple of uncute jokes and Sukuna had cut the call, putting the phone in his pants pocket. You looked at each other for a long moment and then burst into laughter when the ring of both of them was sounded again, simultaneously with your home phone. "Motherfuckers I kill." He said Sukuna, closing the phone and taking off the home phone. You took your phone and looked at the number of one of his colleagues, you looked at each other and answered the call. "Hi, Sukuna is with me, we are busy at the moment." You answered by continuing to stare at your boyfriend and enjoying the smile that was forming on his lips. Sukuna loved it when you played the flirtatious and sweet girlfriend in front of her colleagues, she could feel their frustration at that very moment when your voice became more seductive and sexy when you said her name. How much they could be at that moment.

"No, the deadline is Friday, you have also put the image as profile whatsapp of the group." You insisted with a fluffy voice, Sukuna came to bite you in the neck and you let slip a sigh that could not be misconstrued. "Sorry but we have to go and discuss." You said finally closing the call and pulling slightly Sukuna’s hair. "What else did they want?" asked Sukuna taking both your phones and putting them in airplane mode. "Nothing important, they said they wanted to kill you because you couldn’t give them up for the project for me." You answered by kissing the tip of his nose and grinning: "They also added things that are not very nice and very disgraceful." And the look of Sukuna filled with pleasure. "Fuck you, you’re my priority, baby doll." Sukuna picked you up and you held him like a koala, kissed you more than before and you scratched his neck muscles to make sure you weren’t overwhelmed, but it was a fight that you knew you couldn’t win. You have made your way without wasting time into your bedroom. The windows were down and the only lamp on was the one that recreated the sunset light, the one you had insisted on since you saw it in an Instagram video. Sukuna didn’t waste any time, she kicked the door shut and put you on the bed, you closed your eyes enjoying the feeling of clean sheets on your skin and opened them again when you heard the notes of the playlist that you and Sukuna had created for home.

You smiled for that moment. It was just you, the rest of the world didn’t exist. Sukuna was at the foot of the mattress and looked at you with his naked eyes. His shirt lay at the foot of the bed and the soft orange light highlighted his muscles and tattoos, you watched carefully the ink segments descend down her abdomen to the V of the groin and you licked your lips while with your fingers slowly caressing your boyfriend’s sculpted abs. You got up and knelt on the edge of your bed while Sukuna unlaced the buttons of your overalls and slowly started to strip you, you bent your back to help him get undressed and in the meantime you unlaced his pants belt. When your clothes are all over you have come even closer to Sukuna and keeping the gaze fixed on him you had dropped the zip of his jeans taking it with your mouth. You had, then, left a quick kiss on the bulge of his black boxer making him sigh and laugh with that smile that made you so crazy and shivering between your legs. "What a diligent girl we have here." she said, caressing your cheek and playing with your softness. You leaned on his hand groping and closed your eyes sighing: "I have a boy who devotes a lot of attention to me, it is right that I be diligent with him." You were left with only the white sweater and matching lace panties, hair strewn on the mattress and Sukuna above you, you could feel the warmth of her skin and its intoxicating scent flooding your nostrils, you squeezed it to yourself to continue enjoying that heat. His gaze set you on fire and his touch amplified all your senses.

You kissed with a new fire, seeking your tongues and fighting until the last breath before detaching again and looking hard. In those moments you loved even more the eye tattoos that your boyfriend had made on his cheekbones. Four eyes that only looked at you. Four red eyes that hypnotised you more and more and warmed your core in a way you couldn’t explain. "No bra on?" Sukuna asked, lifting up the crop top you wore that day in a rush to run to university and letting your breasts bounce free and not forced into that cramped garment, out of the room air. "With this shirt I risk not breathing as tight… Kunaaa…" You sighed when her rough hands leaned over your breast and began massaging it, slowly and in circular motions. You felt spoiled for those attentions. You were very large and often the bras you wore hurt, crushed your breasts and left deep marks on your skin. Quite a few times Sukuna had taken you by the shoulders and with the appropriate creams he had massaged your breasts to give you some comfort. "What a brat." said the man while lightly blowing on his nipples making them harden even more and sighing you. You instinctively spread your legs to feel his presence better, but his boxers and your panties did not help. You felt that bulge and wanted it inside you to forget all the stressful day you had.

A day you would have gladly replaced with one in which Sukuna was inside of you, filling you up completely. You scratched Sukuna’s shoulders when his mouth settled on your nipple starting to suck it while the other hand took to play with the other, and then you were the brat. Sukuna was like a hungry child at that time. The background music was so intense that you were stunned by all that attention, because every song you had chosen was perfect for sex and you both knew it. You tried to move but your boyfriend stopped you, with his left arm and went down to your core to start stimulating it from the outside, doing a simple movement over the panties. Up and down, middle and forefinger moved slowly pressing a little more when they were close to your clitoris and making you sigh loudly while Sukuna’s mouth was busy sucking hard on your martoriated nipple. You scratched his neck when you felt his fingers apply more pressure on your opening just to tease it a little bit and you bent your back a little bit more until the sudden orgasm hit you as Sukuna touched your clit again. You screamed loudly, arching your back and poking your feet on the mattress, quickly being invaded by that euphoric sensation typical of orgasm, you felt your body light and tense at the same time and then collapse on the mattress. The arms of Sukuna held you and now they lulled you. "I didn’t think you were so involved, brat." Sukuna broke off your nipple leaving only a trickle of saliva as the only link. You sighed again when his two big fingers moved on the soaked cloth and you struggled to keep your eyes open.

"I had a heavy day Sukuna…" You replied by taking his face in your hands and then kissing him on the Adam’s apple. Sukuna has embraced you, wrapping her free arm around your hips and enjoying the flickering of your body against hers, savoring every inch of your two curves and your toned physique in contact with hers. He missed you during the heavy day that he had had during group work and the only thing he could think of was to come home, pick you up and make love with you all night and the next morning, excluding the world around. "Let’s make this day better." He sighed near your ear and made you string like a violin string. You bit your lip as you slightly moved away from Sukuna and with your hands you went down his tense muscles, massaging them with your fingertips to then go down to his boxers. You kissed the muscles of his groin and with a calm that you didn’t know you had, you slowly took off his last clothes letting out his cock. It was hard, harder than marble and with veins in evidence and great. He needed care and attention you thought as you licked your lips and laid a light kiss on the dark chapel. "You’re playing dirty…" Sukuna had lifted your hair and held it in his grip. You smiled at that joke and kept on leaving wet kisses all along its length, focusing more on some points and biting the most sensitive ones just to hear your boyfriend’s moaning. Sukuna’s grip had become stronger on your hair as the free hand began to caress your back.

"What a good little bratt…" You felt as if Sukuna was tense and holding on to make the pleasure even longer and unload away the tension that had settled on both your bodies in that stressful day. You were sweaty and both warmed up and soon your condition would get worse. You took it all in one shot, risking to hurt yourself and but you were rewarded by the moan of pure pleasure that came out of your boyfriend’s mouth when you slammed his groin on the tip of your nose. You breathed its strong smell and with tears in your eyes you started moving at an average fast pace as you felt the muscles of Sukuna stiffening and the grip of your boyfriend becoming even stronger. Sukuna looked down at you, he watched his girlfriend crouching on the bed trying to give him pleasure and had not resisted any longer. He had blocked you and then lifted you slightly protesting that you were having fun and he laughed softly before kissing you again and taking you under him. You ended up on the opposite side of the bed and screamed when Sukuna quickly took off your panties and threw them across the room and then started licking your pussy greedily.

"So wet just for me…" And you cried out with pleasure when the tongue of Sukuna crept into you, softening your inner walls. "Ryo…" You whimpered as you felt the grip of his hands getting stronger on your thighs, leaving you with red marks. Sukuna didn’t leave you time to recover, he wanted to make a mess even more inviting, he wanted to eat you and drink every single drop of you. One of his hands has been clenching around one of your nipples while the other kept firmly clutching your thigh. Sukuna’s eyes were focused on your pussy along with her tongue, but the tattooed eyes were fixed on you. You knew they were fake, but it was as if Sukuna knew exactly what to do because he had that look on you and you couldn’t resist any longer when you felt two of his fingers creep inside you while his tongue continued to give you pleasure. You came abundantly on her mouth as Sukuna drank you avidly and continued to curl her fingers inside of you to give you even more pleasure and to look for that point that made you crazy. You tried to stop him, ask for a truce by pulling his pink hair but your boyfriend had not moved, he was enjoying the best meal that could happen. "Ryomen… Ryo… Ryo…" You called his name when his fingers met the point he was looking for, the one that made you jump forward and almost jump on the spot when Sukuna hit him several times in a row and at that moment you saw the stars.

The orgasm that took you made you tremble all, the scream of pleasure stuck in your throat and tears came down your cheeks for that stimulation so strong, into your soul deeper and fell on the mattress, Gasping and trying to inhale as much oxygen as possible to try to recover. Sukuna was still close to your core, eyes full of lust and satisfaction, with a note of malice that made you inspire even more deeply. You have pulled Sukuna towards you, in an even more fiery kiss and felt your taste on her lips, on her tongue. You have changed position, in the middle of the bed, you under him and Sukuna who overlaid you with all his beautiful and perfect carved head. And then you felt it enter inside of you, despite the long preparation you had to take it all. You held him tight and Sukuna lifted you slightly, harpooning your butt, to enter with ease. Centimeter by centimeter has entered inside you and for a moment you felt like you were going to faint because of the pleasure that you felt inside you. "Ryo…" you sighed, scratching his shoulders and biting his ear lobe. You heard him tremble and sighing in the hollow of your neck and then bite it hard and make you scream with pleasure as he started pumping his length inside you. You pointed your feet and moved your pelvis to try to respond to his movements, but your legs were soft and every time Sukuna sank inside of you it hit that damned point that made you go into ecstasy.

Sukuna bit his lip to keep his focus and you bit his neck to distract him and then kissed each other moaning in the other’s mouth. You kept on in that pose for a while until you felt a hankering getting closer and closer and you got close to Sukuna so as not to lose your balance. Sukuna kissed you praising your body as it kept moving inside of you, riding your orgasm slowly, savoring the feeling of your walls holding it so tight. You changed positions while you exchanged another kiss, now you were above him and dictated the rhythm to yourself, still feeling the thrill of the previous moment descend down your spine. You put your hands on his pecs and touched his nipples quickly, while Sukuna approached yours to suck both of them, his hands were resting at the base of your back and holding you so close to him that it created a tight rhythm, Fast and needy and muffled every time your crotch met and joined together. Your breath was irregular, and you closed your eyes many times to try to resist and not faint. It was so hard and tense that you still wondered how you had managed to take it so well and how he could still resist, you had seen his pre-season liquid by the way and it was so abundant that you waited anxiously for the moment when it would pour out inside you.

You have swung in bed once again, ruining the blankets and dropping the pillows. You were on your stomach and Sukuna was penetrating behind you, holding your arms steady behind your back with one of his hands, while the other had harpooned your buttocks to find a firm grip as it pushed into you. You felt your walls tighten tighter and tighter every time her cock came in and out of you, and Sukuna knew how to tease you by staying out for a few seconds before coming back in harder and starting to constantly hit your center. "Ryo… inside…" You said feeling the limit getting closer and closer, you were close to the fourth orgasm of that night and Sukuna’s movements had become increasingly confused and ferocious. "How you want, little bratt… ah…" Sukuna has stooped down upon you, using his hand to harpoon your side and not to depart from you. Your shadows on the wall evoked the image of two animals that were mating and it was that common thought that gave you the coup de grace. You felt Sukuna explode inside of you, pouring out copiously and pushing deeper while you kept following its rhythm and crying as hard as you came.

You felt Sukuna explode inside of you, pouring copiously and pushing deeper while you kept following its rhythm and crying as hard as you came. You squatted on the mattress, your breaths were tight but neither of you wanted to detach from the other. "You want to do another lap, you little brat." The roaring voice of Sukuna had made you partly recover, you still felt it hard inside you, despite he kept coming and pouring his semen into your womb. Your eyes were full of tears, your body was aching with pleasure, but you nodded and felt the grip on your hands become less strong. Sukuna was towering over you, his hands were holding your hips and his pelvis dictating a rhythm. "Ryo… please… do… do…" You tried to say something but the bite that came on your neck made you moan loudly, your voice outweighed the notes of the speakers as much as that gesture was unexpected. You felt his fangs sink into your flesh and his thrusts become stronger. You have tightened the blankets to try to resist all that sudden pleasure and felt it again coming inside you, even stronger than before. "What’s he doing, baby?" she asked you while licking the mark of her teeth while with well-placed lunges she kept stimulating your pussy. "It’s good…" You answered by turning to kiss him. "And then it will make you feel even better." Her hand had descended into your intimacy, rubbing against your clitoris and beginning to stimulate it again. You were too sensitive and your orgasm was so strong that you saw the stars at that moment. And you hadn’t finished yet.

"I can’t feel my legs Kuna." You said as you tried to get up, but you gave up right after. Your legs seemed to be made of jelly and your sex was pulsating painfully. Sukuna was beside you and stroked your back, smiling at those words. "I did a good job." Your boyfriend said, leaving you with a kiss on the shoulder and grinning. But he couldn’t get up in that moment, still buried inside you, he would never leave that place for any reason. "Mmmhh…" You tried to say something, but the tiredness was getting felt. "Yeah, let’s order some sushi and watch it on TV." Sukuna answered by caressing your back and reluctantly leaving to take the phone and order to go. "You’re the best." You said by kissing his hand and standing up slowly in turn to go to the bathroom next to your room and preparing the necessary for a shower. You’ve been stuck to the many notifications of missed messages and calls to burst out laughing. Sukuna took you for life and brought you back to bed, kissing you until you lost control again. You then heard the phone snap and turned your eyes to the camera, in the photo that captured you hugging each other in that obscene kiss. You couldn’t see any part of your body, you could just see something that left room for imagination. "What are you doing?" you asked, playing with his lip and sucking it slowly. "I send her to my study group to make them keep quiet." Your boyfriend said kissing you again. "You should send one more obscene." You answered by making him laugh and curl up over you.

"I infected you." He said whispering those words in your ear. "Maybe yes…" You answered looking straight into his eyes and smiling back, a smile full of all that you felt for him. "Honey?" Sukuna never used those affectionate names with you, he always used something that taunted you. "Yes Kuna?" You answered by taking his face in your hands and staring into his eyes. "I love you." He never said those words to you before and your heart filled with happiness. "I love you too." You replied kissing him with a flurry and holding yourself tight to him.

[im-the-punk-who]

Hi! I’m new to the fandom and I’m simply curious (not trying to start a feud or anything), why don’t you like Steinberg?

Hello dear anon! And welcome to the fandom! 

Oof. That’s a question. xD 

I’m going to try and stay as uh. neutral as possible. Because I’ve already written the post I know I failed but, the intent in answering this is also not to start a feud or hurt anyone’s feelings. 

Okay, so I got fairly negative in this chilis tonight, so I want to start by saying that even in light of the opinions I’m about to express, Black Sails is one of, if not my number one, favorite TV shows of all time. Certainly in recent memory - I’ve been hyperfixating on this show for 18 months with no sign of stopping, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for everyone who worked on the show - even Steinberg. (The one exclusion is Michael Bay, he can go twist.)

AND I think Stienberg is an incredibly talented writer. Black Sails is one of my favorite shows because it does such a wonderful job of weaving stories, creating characters, and melding things in a way that is both unexpected and makes sense narratively. I have changed as a person because of the show, and they will have to pry James McGraw and Thomas Hamilton from my cold dead knives-attached-to-them hands. None of what I’m going to say is meant to detract from that.

I will also say that a lot of these issues are not particular to Steinberg and are in fact a systemic problem with American TV + Film. And I’m not leaving Robert Levine out of my criticism, it’s just that Steinberg had the biggest hand in the pot(he wrote a full half the episodes) and a lot of what I’ve heard as far as talking about the show comes from Steinberg. So, he gets the brunt. But it isn’t that I think Steinberg was the only problematic element of the show. 

Also, these are all my opinions and are colored by how I interact with my fandoms. I am not only a fandom veteran, but I work and pretty much live in the entertainment industry. I work in indie film and theatre and am surrounded by artists and creators of all walks of life, like, constantly. I know what is possible, and when I see something that can be improved, I want to note it because it is important to me to always be striving forward. Like Miranda says about Thomas, this isn’t out of malice, or out of hate. It’s because I genuinely love this show, and I love entertainment as a whole, and I think in order to get to a better, more inclusive industry we have to have hard conversations and look critically at the media we consume, and it is frustrating to me to time and again see the same faces in the room. 

But if that isn’t your cuppa, that’s fine! Fandom isn’t meant to be stressful and if all you want to do is watch a show about gay pirates that is your tomato and I applaud you. Have at it you funky motherfucker.

OH! One more. At some point I’m going to talk about Silverflint. When I do, it is NOT meant as a ‘you shouldn’t/cant ship this’ or ‘this pairing is bad’ or any negative attack on the people who ship that pairing. My criticisms in this post are exclusively about what it means for Steinberg as a writer and Black Sails’ representation of gay and mlm men. While it’s not my cuppa, this is a sail your own ship blog. 

OKAY! SO! 

My main criticisms of Steinberg & Co boil down to:

The homozygosity of the writers and directors shows a complete lack of desire to include marginalized people in the writing of a show that is about them. Which leads to:

The centering of white men while choosing a historical setting and time period that was in fact dominated by people of color and specifically a black woman, 

The gratuitous inclusion of violence against women, particularly sexual violence, and again, that the female characters are often sidelined for the central male characters. 

SO.

Black Sails is a show centered around queer, female, and black leads, and yet there were only two non white-male directors (one bi-racial man and one white woman) and only 7 female writers - one of whom was Latina. The entire rest of the major creative staff was white men. I’m not going to comment on sexualities but none of the writers or directors are out as queer according to a quick google search. 

Let me reiterate the important bit there. 

In Black Sails, where the last two seasons specifically feature around a real, actually-happened-in-history event that shaped black history in the Caribbean, there was not a single black writer on the entire show. 

This is the main difference between inclusion for inclusion’s sake, and actually centering marginalized voices. Black Sails has a ton of gay, POC, and female rep in front of the camera but practically zero representation behind it, which leads to storylines and implications that Steinberg and his writers, as white men, simply would never realize.

It’s like why Silver and Miranda never realized the true reasons James was waging war on England. They just did not have the life experiences to realize they were missing a piece of the puzzle, and so they filled in their own without even realizing they’d done so. 

Because no one in the room of Black Sails was a part of these marginalized identities, nuances get lost or mistranslated, motivations get muddled through a white man’s gaze(or a straight person’s) and implications that someone within those communities might think is obvious won’t even come up.

And again, because there were no writers or directors of color in the last two seasons (the biracial man directed episodes 2x02 and 2x04 - WHICH MAKES SENSE IMO) the entirety of the historical lore that the show bases itself on in its latter half is filtered through a white man’s lens. And so there is no discussion of how changing something changes the meaning, how leaving someone out or changing their role to be more minor might affect people for whom that is their heritage. How the entire story they’re telling might change with one simple exclusion or addition.

So, how does this relate directly to Steinberg, you ask? Well, simply, because it was his show. 

Steinberg(and Levine) were involved in every major decision about the show, from its conception, to the script, to choosing the writers and directors. They chose how they wanted the show to look, to think, what stories to tell and how they wanted to tell them. Their decisions(and the biases that formed those decisions) are woven into the show.

And look. I don’t for a second believe any of this was willful or malicious. I don’t think that John Steinberg and Robert Levine sat down one day and said ‘you know what would make the gays really angry? If we locked the only two canonically gay men up in a prison camp.’

But the decisions that were made in the show were based in ignorance in a way that shows more than just simple negligence or laziness(especially given the attention to detail in everything else). The things they leave out or change in the Maroon War plotline for instance are not small details easily missed. They are big, giant waving flags. They are things that are irreplaceable to still have the same events and stories and tell them respectfully. 

It shows an insane amount of privilege to, for instance, write a show airing during a time when the Black Lives Matter movement was at the forefront of the American conscience, include black characters and black storylines, and yet not include a single black voice on their creative team. 

In a show that centers a gay man’s love and his journey in attempting to process the horrible things done to him and his lover because of it, we are given just forty minutes of the entire show dedicated to their relationship - and just fifteen of those minutes actually feature the lover! 

(Relatedly, the entirety of the gay romantic rep is two kisses, and a forehead touch. That’s the entirety of your gay intimacy representation. And yet there are in the first two seasons alone - because that’s all I’ve clocked so far - something like twenty seven minutes of scenes involving a naked or half naked woman. Five minutes of that is explicitly wlw sex.

Again, I just want to reiterate this because it’s important in recognizing bias. 

There is fully twice as much female nudity in the first two seasons, as the entirety of the time the two gay characters have together on screen. )

Steinberg is a perfect example of how a lack of understanding why the diversity you are representing is important, matters. I dislike Steinberg because he, just like every other straight white cis man I have known, profited off of marginalized voices without including them or creating with them in mind.

Art does not exist in a vacuum. You cannot create something - especially something as back breakingly, intensely a labor of love as Black Sails - without putting several pieces of yourself into it. But those pieces color your narrative. They will expose things about you that you don’t even realize. And it’s in these places we are weakest, and why a diverse group of writers with a diverse group of experiences can help a piece be stronger. But for whatever reason, John Steinberg thought that he could make art with only people who looked and thought and experienced like him. 

The lack of representation behind the camera in Black Sails was evident in front of it and yet Steinberg is out here getting to pretend like he created the most inclusive groundbreaking show that ever existed. It is important to me, personally, to acknowledge that. And that it kind of makes my skin crawl in the way all media made by straight white (cis)men makes my skin crawl. I wish I didn’t have to feel that way about my favorite tv show just because it was created by a man of privilege, but here we are.

SO. I hope that helped? Feel free to take what you want and leave what you don’t! 

Below the cut is a more in depth look at things that I think show what I’m talking about, but that up there ^^ is the gist. <3 |D

SURPRISE!

The Maroons and the Maroon War

So the first thing I want to point out is that the Maroon War was a real thing that happened. It lasted ten years, and resulted in the most substantial victory the Maroons ever achieved against the British. Not only that, there was in fact a KICKIN’ badass female leader of the maroons named Queen Nanny, who is to this day honored as a national hero in Jamaica. While they weren’t able to drive the British out, the outcome of this war led to a mostly self-governing Maroon population in Jamaica from the mid 1700s on. This was a long term fight that had a very tangible and real outcome, even if it didn’t end in the destruction of colonialism. 

And what is this war turned into in Black Sails? A white ‘madman’s revenge’  that is doomed to failure after six months.

That, my dear pirates, is a problem for me. (And those familiar with my brand of spiceyness know that I do not ascribe to the ‘Flint is a Madman’ trope, but that IS what Steinberg ascribes to, what he seems to have written the show thinking.) 

There was no narrative reason to include the Maroon War in the narrative of Black Sails. The Maroon War didn’t happen until a decade after the Golden Age of Piracy, and aside from Silver’s wife being a black woman there is no mention of Silver ever having contact with them. To me, this feels like the choice of a showrunner who found a cool historical event and saw a chance to up the stakes of their white male heroes while getting in some sweet sweet POC rep. 

Except that they then took the major events of the Maroon War and gave them to their white characters, Flint and Silver. 

Here’s the thing. If you’re going to take a piece of culturally important history and use it for your show, you NEED to have sensitivity writers. You need to have people who are at least familiar with those events and who care about them to do them justice. Have an expert come in and read your script or go over your ideas. Or just like. Hire a black writer. Hire ONE black writer. As a treat.

The important Maroon figures, Nanny, Cudjoe, and Quao, all get sidelined or ‘sexified’ and then used as plot points for the white characters. Nanny gets split into two women - the older mother queen and Madi, the young naive warbent visionary. Quao(Mr. Scott is the closest, or Kofi possibly) gets killed off because the writers realized they didn’t exactly have a place for him in their writing. Cudjoe(Julius) gets a few scenes and one good speech but his entire role in the war gets given to Silver. And THEN. That sexy Queen Madi figure gets used as emotional bait for Silver and then has to learn he has betrayed her and destroyed the hope and freedom she had wanted to bring to her people. 

Gross, pirates. Gross.

Anne Bonny/Max/Mary Read - a heads up, this section includes a semi in-depth discussion of both Max and Anne’s sexual assaults. If that bothers you, the paragraphs talking about that begin with a ***

COOL NOW LET’S TALK ABOUT LESBIANS. Words my 20 year old self would never have imagined coming out of my mouth. 

Specifically, I want to talk about Max, and Anne, and their backstories both involving extreme sexual trauma at the hands of men. And then Mary Read and the once again sexification of female characters.

(Actually while I’m here another criticism I have of Steinberg is that his writing does not seem to recognize how queer people existed in the past - again, likely because he didn’t have any gay historians to be like ‘actually buddy that doesn’t make sense also why is Anne not dressing as a man? If you want to fuck with anything and insert modern day terminology and ideas into this show, make her non binary and REALLY piss off the hetties.’)

(This same ficitonal gay dramaturg who is definitely not me has also questioned John Steinberg repeatedly about where Mary Read is, unsatisfied with the answer ‘well we wanted her to be hot so we made her a sex worker and then had Anne have to rescue her but then we realized it would be weird not to include her actual character so we gave her a five second cameo at the very end of the series and also made her like 13.’)

Anyway! So my main point in bringing up Anne and Max is the sexual trauma they are exposed to in the show, particularly being that they are the two primary wlw in the show, who Steinberg has said he views as being completely gay, and what THAT whole unexamined idea looks like. 

***Max. My dear Max. There was literally no reason to have her be repeatedly r*ped(and for the love of god there was even less reason to make it that gratuitous and graphic). Max being assaulted like that did not add anything to the gravity of Eleanor’s betrayal. The traumatic event was being tossed aside by Eleanor, and that could have been just as emotionally damaging without the sexual assault. And the only reason for her to be continually assaulted was to bring her and Anne together. 

***The reason imo that Max’s r*pe plot was added was because it was the only thing these white straight men could come up with that felt emotionally damaging enough to them. The act of betrayal itself wasn’t enough, the act of being thrown away, of having a lover put your life in danger because of her own ambitions wasn’t enough, they needed her to be r*ped to really drive home the point. 

***Anne, on the other hand, is never shown being sexually abused, but we are given an explicit account of her own traumatic history and how Jack saved her from this vile beast who was passing her around to his friends.

But here’s the thing pirates - that never happened. According to every account we have of Anne Bonny, she chose her husband, and married him against her father’s wishes. They were probably relatively happy until her husband started being a pirate spy and Anne started cheating on him with Jack. 

And yes, when they were found out. Her husband had her beat. That’s not fucking cool, and if they really wanted to go the damsel in distress route they still could have had Jack ‘save’ her from that. But at no point was she sexually abused by her husband(at least not in any accounts I’ve read.) 

You know who did likely sexually abuse her or at least manipulate her and Mary for his own benefit? If you guessed our Rat man Jack Rackham, you would be correct, because when he found out about Mary and Anne’s (supposed, but probably real) relationship, it’s implied he extorted both of them into fucking him to keep their secret from the crew. 

The addition of sexual abuse to Anne’s past isn’t done to be true to her character and was in fact explicitly untrue. Now of course I don’t know the reasons why they chose to do this, but I can guess. Just as with Max, the most traumatic thing a male writer can think of for a female character is for them to be sexually abused.

And the most disturbing part of this to me? The parallels it has to the real world of why straight men think lesbians exist. These characters who would be called man haters in present day are given these incredibly traumatic man-centered histories. It brings up something very uncomfortable in me about particularly wlw sexuality being viewed as a reaction to trauma at the hands of men. It’s just gross, I dont like it, and honestly there is no fucking excuse for it besides a room full of white straight men writing this bullshit. A room that Steinberg chose, because they fit his ideas.

In Fact heck, the women of Black Sails in general

***I honestly struggle to think of a single female character who I think was treated fairly in Black Sails. Miranda and Eleanor are killed for taking sides and not understanding their partners, Madi is betrayed in the worst way possible, Max is given a pseudo empowering ending but has that fucking terrible start. Idelle ends off fairly well, but tied to a man she may or may not have any actual feelings for, in what is essentially a political marriage. And Anne has her entire identity tied to a man who will be dead in two years as she is robbed of any agency whatsoever without him. (Oh, and the whole r*pe thing. And also her support for Max’s r*pe or death until she started having fee-fees. Who wrote this stuff. >_>)

Even though the characterization of each and every one of these women is PHENOMENAL - and again I will repeat that I absolutely LOVE these characters as they exist in a vacuum. I think they are well rounded, real, feeling people given motivations and drives and FEELINGS and they SHOW THEIR ANGER and i LOVE THEM. 

But the show punishes them for it. Miranda is essentially fridged to move Flint’s storyline along, and to make room for Silver. Eleanor is killed for the emotional damage it will cause Rogers. Madi is placed at the center of a conflict she explicitly says she is willing to die for and then not only is her entire cause taken from her, but when she tells Silver to fuck off he - in possibly the most predictable white man move ever - says ‘no i will stay until you change your mind. I will never leave you. I don’t care about your choice in this matter, I will wait forever for you. I’m your biggest fan. I’ll follow you until you love me. papa, - paparazzi.’ 

And I touched on this before, but I want to talk in more detail about what is possibly my hottest take to date, the sexification of Mary Read and Queen Nanny, as they are presented in the show. 

Max is to Anne what Mary Read is, historically. She is the lover that Jack Rackham discovers with Anne, and then he joins them in their bed. They form a triumvirate that upholds Jack at the expense of the women. But for some reason, Steinberg didn’t want to just include Mary Read as an actual character. For some reason he needed to make Anne’s love interest a sex worker who was in need of saving (and who, coincidentally, we never see working the brothel after she becomes lovers with Anne, because she is now a madam. :) Gross.)

And Madi. My dear sweet fucking Madi who didn’t fucking deserve any of this bullshit send tweet. 

So, historically, Queen Nanny was the Queen, spiritual advisor, and the military tactician of the Windward Maroons. She would have filled both Madi and the Queen’s character roles(and Flint’s, but who’s counting. A BLACK GAY LEAD? Inconceivable. I digress.) But, I guess, because they were wishy-washing with Silver’s sexuality or felt they needed to give him a female love interest because of Treasure Island, or because they were leaning a bit too hard into the gay shit and needed to backpedal, they took Queen Nanny and split her into a character who is for all intents and purposes powerless in the war and Madi, who is young and naive and does not have any real world experience outside of the Maroon camp.

Because that’s sexy, or something. They could have had the Maroon Queen be a fucking badass lady who works and fights alongside Flint and Silver and one ups them and teaches them shit and has her own ideas about where the British can stick it, but instead they made her into the perfect caricature of a female monarch, letting the big strong men handle the dirty work or something. Because white male power fantasies. 

Just let women be powerful and not nubile and let them have character arcs over fucking thirty and let them be CENTERED in their own. fucking. narratives. 

God damnit Steinberg.

James Flint, mlm extraordinaire

Oh, my love. My most amazing child. The light of my life. My purest cinnamon roll. 

~~And now we’ve come to the dreaded Silverflint criticism part of our programming. Please please know and remember this isn’t a criticism of people who ship Silverflint. As I said up top, Your Tomato Is Not My Tomato and that’s cool. Please don’t take this next part as an attack on Silverflint as a fandom ship.~~

My criticism of Steinberg as it relates to Flint is related to:

What a romantic/sexual relationship with Silver being the basis of the tension and plot means for Flint in particular as a gay or mostly mlm man. 

Refusing to confirm Thomas and James being alive at the end and honestly the whole finale in general but like I’ll try and focus.

The major problem I have with Silver and Flint being coded as in love with each other is the implications there in terms of gay men’s relationships to other men. 

From every corner, men are inundated with the idea that any close relationship between them must be gay. That intimacy cannot exist unless there are sexual feelings involved. That a relationship cannot be close, deep and soul shattering and life altering, unless one guy secretly(or not so secretly) wants to bone the other dude. That two men cannot value each other as partners or friends or truly know each other unless they are gay.

Seeing both of the meaningful relationships Flint forms with other men be sexually coded feels a bit the same way as Anne and Max’s sexual assault plotlines does vis-a-vis being wlw. (Even with Gates, Flint never spoke about Thomas or his plans - Silver is absolutely the closest person to Flint besides Thomas and Miranda.) And this is just as true for Silver. Having both Flint and Madi - the two people he trusts - both be people he’s in love with also just feels. I don’t know. 

It feels like a confusion between male intimacy and male love that is so so familiar to me as a gay man I could choke on it. Where they wanted these men to have a deep and really lasting connection, but could only figure out how to do it if they were in love. Friendship wouldn’t have been enough - only romantic and sexual love is enough for the gay man(or men, at all).

Just because it isn’t queerbaiting doesn’t mean it’s good rep, and I would have liked to see truly deep male friendships that did not center on sexual attraction - particularly for Flint as a confirmed mlm(and Silver too, if you’re counting him. The same arguments for why I dislike Flint being paired with Silver are also true in the reverse.) 

Even if both Flint and Silver were confirmed mlm I still would have LOVED to see a platonic relationship between them. In fact I would have loved that EVEN MORE. Men! Who fuck men! Not needing to fuck each other to be important to one another! Who made this. Very delicious. 

But because there weren’t any queer writers on the show, writers who understand this kind of struggle that gay and mlm men face, they thought ‘oh, let’s also have them be in love with each other. More gay rep is better gay rep, right?’ False. THOUGHTFUL gay rep is better gay rep.

Okay and here’s my last thing. The fact that Steinberg refuses to say whether or not the explicitly mlm men are alive at the end of the show - that the words he specifically uses are ‘up for interpretation’ is. Fuck, it’s gross, okay? It’s fucking gross. 

I have been around enough men, enough people in power, enough people with leverage who also know how to play the field, to know that when someone wants a group’s support but does not agree with them, their go to phrasing is that it is ‘up for debate’ or ‘up for interpretation.’

Say the gays are alive. Steinberg refusing to acknowledge the reality of the ending of his show to maintain his own sense of artistic integrity is what, honestly, really sets me off about him and I don’t care if this is a nuanced take.

Like yes, death of the author. I honestly don’t care if he thinks they’re dead or alive. What I care about is that he thinks he can get away with being clever and leaning hard into a story is true/untrue’ - doesn’t realize what the implications of that are, and didn’t when he was writing, and didn’t have anyone else in the room who would think about it either. 

ANYWAY. So this is....my long drawn out explanation for why I do not like Steinberg. Uhhhhh tune in next week for more of my totally unpopular opinions!

[nad-zeta]

Match up ｡◕‿◕｡

Hello, may I get a ikemen vampire match please! :D PHYSICAL FEATURES: 5'5", long straight black hair (past the shoulders, but not past the chest), light brown skin, beauty mark on my left cheek almost adjacent to nostril, "fiery" brown almond shaped eyes and a little bit of a thicker eyebrows, body figure: close to a pear shape or an hourglass (I really can't distinguish the difference between the two when it comes to my body).

PERSONALITY: I tend to be down to earth when I need to be, but to be honest my head is always in the clouds and I have a habit to look forward to the future rather than to focus on the present. People would tend to think I am strong and could be a good leader, but I think they hold this perception because I am confident in myself and strong willed. In actuality I hate to lead others, rather I like to help everyone else with their vision or goals. I am also someone who finds positivity in many situations, but sometimes pessimistic (or just pure procrastination) gets the better of me, but I have no worries when this happens because I becone my own motivator. Big dreamer and occasionally a romantic (when the mood is right). Also, I have had my shares of being shut out during conversationsor have noticed people wanting to be a part of a group or to be inclusive in some manner, due to these experiencesand observations I found myselfalways wanting to make sure everyonehas had their voice spoken and listened to. As a direct influence to my personality on how I want everyone to have a voice and to be listened to I became someonewho enjoyed being the listener and the observer in the group. I have recently taken the Bridge Myer Test and it said I am and INFP (which I believe describes me fairly well).

HOW WOULD I ACT IN A RELATIONSHIP: I love to listen to others and observe their reactions, understanding who they are on a deeper level, this only further my understanding of my love language: which is quality time. Just spending time with the person I love and listening to them while they interchangeably listen to me is my ultimate high. Even enjoying each others company and not saying a word sits well in my heart, as long as we are enjoying ourselves. I am not a level 10 PDA person, but to be honest I wouldn't mind having someone who is expressive in that area (as long as I am given space afterwards), to be honset I may even enjoy it. At the start of a relationship I tend to have rose colored glasses on max as I pursue someone I like, but as they admit their emotions they hold for me and the lovely valentine styled scene shatters and I begin to see everything more clearly. Instantly I tend to only want a relationship of friendship to grow between us, which becomes a better outcome as I can grow to love the confesser as the person they really are and actually develop genuine love and not just a crush or lust.

MORE INFO ABOUT ME: I am currently studying architecture and I love the arts. Hobbies of mine is to expand my herb garden, go jogging, go white water rafting, learn to roller skate (still a beginner), learn to paddle board (still a dream of mine to even start this hobbie), help my dad pick vegtables from the garden, and feed our sheep. I tend to take the beaten path when traveling, shopping, or finding a place to eat. Also for a little fun for this match-up, I'm minoring in Medevial Renaissance in hopes to use my degree to go to Europe or Japan and restore old castles or buildings. Speaking about traveling, I love areas that heavy on history, culture, and connected towards nature (some areas that come to mind is Scotland, New Orleans Louisiana, Savannah Georgia, Montana, Italy, Greece, ect.). Some of my other invests would be: enjoying horror, mystery, psychologically teasing movies and books, murder podcasts, history documentaries (especially history documentaries that involves the involvement of phantoms, occult, witchcraft, voodoo,.ect) paranormal YouTubevideos, I love to go antiquing, and enjoy exploringthe food world (while I also improvemy skill in cooking), and I enjoy indie pop music and recently found myself loving songs with a twist of blues.

Hi hi love! 🌻❤Thank you so much for the request and sorry for taking so long with it! I hope you have a super good day, sending lots of hugs! ❤☺Hope ya enjoy it! ❤☺ @100christy

 So I match you with.................. Comte

  The first time you met the legend, Saint Germain de Comte was during one of your classes minoring in the Medieval Renaissance. They had gotten in a very handsome man with gold, dusty coloured hair and timeless golden eyes, to guest speak during one of the lectures. He spoke with a sense of a knowing grace about alchemy, the traditions, cultures and history of that time. He had encaptivated all the students; all eyes were on him as everyone hung onto his every word. He elegantly walked about the lecture hall speaking as if he had, had a first account of the event being described and that is when his eyes locked with yours. His golden eyes were gleaming in the rays of the afternoon sun, piercing down into the depths of your soul, and that is when this mysterious man stole your heart. And little known to you, the second this man saw your fiery brown almond eyes, his breath caught in his throat and he found that for the first time in his immortal life, his heart had been stolen right from under his nose.

For the rest of his lecture, you were off in the clouds, far away from reality, in fact by the time you had come back down to earth the lesson was over and all the students were on their feet to leave. You caught a glance of the golden man’s coat that he had forgotten laying on the front desk. Suddenly you felt the urge to chase after him. You trailed behind the blond man, hoping to catch up to him to deliver him his coat back. You followed him all the way to some fancy museum when you lost sight of him as he disappeared through a large wooden door. There was a mystical air about the door and sounding area, and as a travel and mystery lover, you couldn’t help but follow after the man. The room around you changed from crips white museum walls, to an old victorian style room filled to the brim with the most fascinating antiques. You wished nothing more than to explore the house filled with the most curious nicknacks, but you pushed on to find the man to return him the coat.

You were suddenly startled when the very man that you were trying to track down, appeared behind you and tapped you on the shoulder, “Are you looking for me, Ma Cherie.” You got a freight but relaxed the second you caught sight of his gentle smile.

“Found you! You forgot your coat in class, so I thought I might return it to you.” He smiled down tenderly at you as he gently took the coat from your hands, “I hope you didn’t go through to much trouble to get this back to me my dear,” He then carefully took your hand and laid a chaste kiss on it, “would you like to join me in the garden from some tea, Ma Cherie. I would like to do at least something to thank you for going through all that trouble.” A sad smile crossed his face as he gently took your hand in his and led you to the garden signalling for the butler to bring the two of you some tea and snacks to the gazebo out in the lush, vibrant garden.

Comte couldn’t help but smile a fond smile down at you as you excitingly examined his herb garden. He crouched down beside you and gushed all about his little plants he had nursed from seedling, and you couldn’t help but smile up at the man. His timeless old face had tuned youthful as he raved all about the herbs and how his butler uses them in their meals. He even offered you a little patch to start your own, and before you could decline, he dropped the “you will be here for one-month” bomb. And that is how your relationship with the pureblood started.

In the weeks to follow you and Comte spent a significant amount of time together from travelling around the province to visit every antique shop insight to doing a bit of gardening together.

As it was, the two of you shared a common love language, and that would be quality time, and as such, every free moment the two of you got, was spent together. Comte is very much a busybody and has many different friends in different places, so its no surprise when he invites you along to travel with him. Once he is done with his business the two of your travel around the area going sightseeing, from looking at different castles to discovering all that is to be known about French architecture of the late 19th century. In fact, sometimes your travels expand even out of Paris to neighbouring provinces and areas.

When the two of you aren’t off travelling the world together, you are back at the mansion just enjoying each others company. Sometimes the two of you would simply be in the same room together each busy with their own task while enjoying the company of the other presence.

As time passes the two of you become relatively close friends, Comte knows you have to go back in a month, and he wouldn’t dare ask you to give up your life in the future for him. So he cherishes every moment spent in the past with you. He knows his heart will be broken in two when the day comes, but he is determined to do what it takes to make you happy. After all, you are the love of his life, whether you know it or not. This man fell in love with you the moment he first met you, and after spending countless days with you, that love has only grown.

He loves how strong-willed and confident you are, giving all the men and woman at the fancy banquets a run for their money. He loves how much you have helped the fellow residents subtly realize their visions and goals and have helped them to grow. He especially loves the way you include everyone in your conversations. You're a truly kind and caring soul, and he can't help but deeply cherish you. So he does the only thing he can do while you are still with him….. he spoils you. This man loves to buy gifts for you, and he WILL buy you anything and everything your heart desires.

And through your time spent the golden pureblood, you have come to realize that somewhere along the line you stopped seeing him as a friend and instead saw him as a potential partner. Your rose coloured glasses were shattered, as you had come upon that realization one night during one of the balls. You were dancing with Comte and couldn’t help but beam at the carefree smile he wore, and at that moment you realized you wanted to spend the rest of your life seeing that carefree smile. You realized that your feeling had gone beyond some measly crush or just lust, but that you truly loved him as a best friend, dare I say, soul mate. You were now determined to make your feelings know.

You confessed your feeling to Comte one sunny afternoon while the two of you went white water rafting. After making your way down the river, the two of you landed up in a still lake in the middle of the forest. The two of you had found this river a while back while you were hiking after you had insisted on taking the beaten path. On the waters of the crystal clear still water you looked up into Comte's golden eyes and confessed your love. To say this man was delighted would be an understatement. Gentlemanly as always he gently took hold of your hand and kissed it, while stating that he felt the exact same way.

The two fo you cuties were inseparable, always off together doing some or other fun activity. Comte loved that you had so many varies hobbies, and he truly enjoyed participating in each and every one of these hobbies. Be it jogging, or rollerskating he was always keen to try new things.

His favourite of your hobbies would have to be shopping and discovering new places to eat. If the two of you aren’t doing something active, you are out in the town buying everything in sight and trying variouse new restaurants. It has actually become a lunchtime tradition for Comte to seek you out and escort you into town where the two of you would have lunch together at a new café.

The two of you have a very open and honest relationship that has been built on the best foundation….. Friendship. Comte absolutely loves those quieter moments with you nestled against his chest as the two of you talk about anything and everything. He loves that you actually listen to and try and, understand who he is on a deeper level.

He is at his happiest when he is just spending time with you and listening to you as you interchangeably listen to him as well. Speaking of, you absolutely love picking this man’s brain about cultures and history, and he loves nothing more than to tell you story upon story of historical events that he has lived through and witnessed first hand. This man lives for that excited expression on your face whenever the two of you talk history, culture and how it is connected to nature. And oooh when comte found out you liked mysteries and stories about the paranormal (phantoms, occult, witchcraft, voodoo,etc), he was all too pleased to spill the tea and even do some research on the topics together with you.

All and all the two of you have a lot of fun together, whether its out exploring the world or spending a quiet night in simply nestled in each other's arms exchanging words of love. Comte will spend every day of your mortal life cherishing you. And every day of your immortal life together showering you with an endless amount of love and affection. After all, he is at his happiest when you are happy, his dearest soul mate

Other Potential matches………………… Dazai 

I hope you enjoyed this love and have the best day!❤☺🥰

[angellesword]

Silver Dust

Summary: Yoongi proposed to you and you're contemplating whether to say yes or no.

Pairing: Songwriter Yoongi x Gender Neutral Reader

Genre: Fluff, fluff, and fluff.

Word count: 6.7k

Warnings/ author's note: I wrote like a whole ass song using Cypher pt.4 beat lmaooo, kissing, minor smut, mention of rape, abuse, killings, and corruption.

<<< The first meeting >>>

The first time you met Yoongi's eyes wasn't really that special.

There was no sign of your heart skipping a single beat, if there was, you're 100% sure he's not the reason behind it because 1) you pretty much believed it's just the effect of drinking three shots of espresso in one sitting. 2) You were damn nervous since your prelim grades were already out.

You didn't even feel any butterfly in your stomach, nor did your world light up—and this, to be honest, was understandable, especially when Yoongi's eyes were dead as fuck. You figured that if it wasn't for your shared seven am class, he would probably still be lying in bed.

"The professor said you're my partner for this project." Even the first time you heard his voice wasn't special.

If there's one thing that made Yoongi Yoongi, it's his monotonous voice. At first, you thought he just didn't like the idea that you two were stuck together to work on a project. (Again, it's understandable) You also found it ridiculous that your professor actually paired you with a stranger.

Well, it's not like you knew Yoongi. Unless knowing his full name counted. But really, it's inevitable since the two of you went to the same classes since freshman year (you're a senior now) apart from that, almost all your professors never failed to voice out their adoration for him.

You first heard his name when your history instructor made it very clear that Min Yoongi's works would be his "standard" when it came to grading your individual projects. In short, if Yoongi got an A, you and your classmates should also either get an A or an A+ or else, you're considered 'failed.'

It’s kind of fucked up, really. Most of you knew that Min Yoongi was a monster when it came to collecting As. Unfair. All he did during class lectures was sleep and yet, he still managed to be number one.

Huh. It must be awesome to be God's favorite.

There was also this one time when one of your professors, Mr. Bang, cried when he asked Yoongi to read his essay in front. The smart boy was reluctant at first. He despised exposure, that's for sure. However, the professor's so persistent that Yoongi obliged just to make the annoying instructor shut up.

You're actually glad Mr. Bang managed to persuade Yoongi. His speech about finding yourself and being happy made Mr. Bang and almost everyone in your class cry. Yoongi transformed into a completely different person the moment he started his speech. Monotonous Voice? Gone.

You figured that yes, your heart didn't skip a beat when you first caught his eyes, but boy did your heart hurt when those simple words leaving his mouth turned into a piece of art.

<<< Your one brain cell >>>>

The second time you met Yoongi's eyes was in front of his house. The two of you decided to work on your project at the school's library, however the place was loaded with students cramming their paper works and you just couldn't bear to hear another person aggressively typing on their laptop anymore. You were sick of it.

"Uh, hi?" you awkwardly smiled at the blond man in front of you.

You weren't quite sure how to react when he was just staring at you blankly. Yoongi's lips were pursed together and that alone made you uncomfortable.

"We were supposed to meet at the library..." He raised his brow as if he wanted to know how the hell did you know where he lives? And were you a fucking stalker?

"I..." You instantly trailed off when he narrowed his brow more. Man, he sure was intimidating. The lack of spark in his eyes made you wince. The man in front of you had thick, low set brows—making them appear almost completely straight. (Poker face alert)

You swallowed the thick lump in your throat before trying to form a coherent sentence.

"There...people. I mean, the library is packed with uh, people."

"So you just decided to show up in my house?"

His question made you quiver. This was such a wrong move. Of course you couldn’t just knock on his door like this; you two were not even friends!

"I'm sorry. I just didn't know any other place and I..." You heaved a deep sigh. "I saw your friend Jeongguk and he told me where you live—“

"Right." He cut you off by opening the door wide. Of course it had to be Jeongguk. That little shit really knew how to annoy Yoongi.

"Holly peed on the couch so there's no way we can work there. Is my room okay to you?" Despite not seeing his face, you instantly knew that Yoongi's question was directed at you. He was leading the way inside his house and you're behind him, quietly following where he's going.

Yoongi's house was not that big, but it's a lovely and comfortable place. Unlike your dorm, you felt at home here. It's probably the indoor plants that made the place more alive. You suddenly wondered if he's living with someone. Did the love of his life stay here? Or did he have a roommate? You're adamant that he lived alone; otherwise all these plants would probably be dead.

You weren't really a judgmental person, you're rather logical. Yoongi slept during class hours; he couldn't be bothered by moving a single inch, too. You guessed that he hated any form of activity and maybe, that included watering plants.

You were about to ask him if he lived alone when your voice had been overpowered by loud, boisterous bark.

"Oh! Hello there, little guy..." A giggle escaped from your lips when a small dog went your way to lick your exposed legs.

You squatted in front of the puppy so you could pet his furry head.

"Holly, no!" Yoongi called the attention of the brown poodle, but it couldn't care less. The dog named Holly still continued to ask for your affection.

"Holly!"

You almost whined when Yoongi took Holly away from you. You're sure the puppy hated it too. But Yoongi told you that his pet needed to learn his lesson first. The naughty dog really peed on the couch right after his bathroom training. Yikes!

Yoongi let you inside his room after your little encounter with Holly. The vibe of his room contradicted the overall theme of the house, but you had expected it to be this way nonetheless.

His bedroom walls were painted dark blue, too dark it's almost close to black. There's nothing much in his room except a single bed, a study area with lots of technical devices, and oh!

Amusement danced in your eyes when you noticed different manga books on his shelf. You didn't think that Yoongi was the type of person who would dwell on such things, but what really caught your attention was his album collection.

"You like Epik High!?" you couldn't help your enthusiasm when your eyes found the band's album called Shoebox resting on the black metallic shelf near his bed. Damn. Shoebox was your best-loved album of all time! You liked all songs by Epik High, however nothing could ever top the said album for you. Your ultimate favorite song had to be Amor Fatti. That song slapped, though its meaning was often misunderstood by many.

Yoongi only spared you a few glances from the moment you showed into his house, this time, however, he was looking at you intently and for the first time, you saw him smile, a shy one at that.

"Yeah...they're the reason why I write songs..." He whispered, too soft you barely heard it.

You even blinked. Did you hear him right?

"Oh, you're a songwriter?" You flashed a loop-sided smile that made Yoongi's cheeks red.

"Uh, well...it's just what I like to do during my free time."

You nodded and hummed, your eyes were still busy roaming around his room when an idea popped in your mind.

"So why don't we make use of your talent and write a song for this project?" You caught Yoongi's eyes again, but this time, it didn't look dead, truthfully, his pupils dilated when he heard what you just said.

You instantly defended your suggestion.

"I mean, we don't really have a plan, and now we have. I think you're pretty good at it so it'll make our jobs easier. I can sing, don't worry..."

You hated saying that, though you didn't have a choice. You needed to convince him that producing a song would be such a good idea.

Your professor said you needed to make something, anything that would elicit a reaction from him and your classmates. This was a psychology class and your topic for midterm was all about emotions. Mr. Kim Seokjin, your professor, was tired of doing all the talking, especially because your class was unresponsive, so to save his voice (and brain cells probably) he told the whole class that the remaining meeting for midterm would be about his students showcasing their talents that wold, like what you had said, gain extreme emotions from your classmates. It's actually easy except that you're paired with someone you were not close with. On top of that, the presentation of the project shouldn't exceed ten minutes, and lastly, it should be personal.

You spent days thinking about what you and your partner could do, but your brain cells weren't cooperating since you only had two of it, the first one was sleeping and the other only knew the words "Nothing, bitch."

And so now that your former brain cell decided to wake up and save you from your misery of being stupid (even if it's just for good three minutes) you're willing to take it.

Before your 180 seconds ran out, you immediately started blabbing words to convince Yoongi to produce a song with you.

And guess what? Your convincing power must be really good (or maybe you're just as annoying as Mr. Bang and Yoongi just wanted you to shut up too) but hey, at least Yoongi agreed!

<<< Weirdo >>>

The third time you met Yoongi's eyes—well, it's not really the third time. You had actually lost count on how many times your eyes locked with each other. Sometimes, it's a conscious act, but most of the time, it's not. You guys would just find yourselves staring into each other's eyes when you didn't know what lyrics to write next.

Producing a song was not as easy as what you thought it would be. It had been three weeks since the two of you started this project. Yoongi's room had been your workplace ever since. He had the equipment you needed plus it's easier to meet here since your dorm was just meters away from his house.

"My damn throat hurts like hell!" You groaned before collapsing on top of Yoongi's bed.

The past three weeks you spent with Yoongi made the two of you start a beautiful friendship. Admittedly, it's not really beautiful since most of the time; you're bickering at each other. You and Yoongi were so different from each other. He liked starting his work early because he wanted to finish it early. You, on the other hand, were his exact opposite. You're the play now, work later type of person and Yoongi hated it so much. While he practiced delayed gratification, you sat there and ruined everything.

You were always on his bed, cuddling his pet Holly. That's most likely the reason why it's only been two days since you two finished the song. It took almost three weeks because of your procrastinating ass, and now, you suffered. The two of you only had a week before you performed this in front of your class. Yoongi was pissed off at you for the reason that you still hadn't finished memorizing the lyrics and your voice was already strained.

“If I ever see you drinking cold water again, I will fucking drown your ass on that water as I behead you, and then I will freeze your head." Yoongi warned as he joined you in bed.

"Ohhh, morbid. I like that..." You shrugged your shoulders and then you buried your face on his chest—making him groan in irritation.

"You weirdo, get away from me!"

"No..." You laughed because Yoongi was the weird one here. He told you not to touch him or stay close to him, but at the same time, he's wrapping his arm on your waist.

You wondered if this was okay, it's just been three weeks since the two of you had been formally introduced, and yet, you found comfort here. On his bed. In his arms.

You smiled to yourself, yes, Yoongi was a weirdo, but so were you.

<<< Namjoon’s Party >>>>

What you considered as the fourth time you met Yoongi’s eyes was also the first time he called you by your given name.

“You feel so good…” He moaned your name on your neck, his hands were tightly wrapped around your waist—enjoying your body heat.

You suddenly thought if dragging Yoongi into this party was the best idea. Right now, you had no freaking clue how to act. You’re drunk, but not too drunk to not think about the consequences of this night. But damn, you’re just a human. A horny human! How could you possibly stop Yoongi when he’s using his soft lips to paint bruises on your neck!?

You could just push him away and you knew that, though you were also aware that your mind and heart wouldn’t want that, not when you liked what he’s doing to you.

“Namjoon’s party sucks.”

“Just not your crowd, weirdo...” You chuckled. Oh, thank heavens for Namjoon. He was one of your childhood friends and frankly, the song you and Yoongi produced wouldn’t be finished without the help of Namjoon. So when that friend of yours texted you to come to his birthday party, you immediately agreed. Fortunately, you didn’t have to force your one brain cell to wake up just so you could convince Yoongi to go with you.

This wasn’t what Yoongi likesd he hated parties because he didn’t want to talk to stupid people and drunken people were stupid people. Perhaps the only reason why Yoongi was here was because he couldn’t turn down Namjoon—not after all your friend’s genius advice.

“I hate this place.” Yoongi added, he’s now looking at you with sparks in his eyes—or maybe you’re just drunk. Too intoxicated to feel and see anything other than the fact that Yoongi’s already grinding at you.

You huffed; suddenly offended by the clothes you’re wearing. Were you supposed to wear this when all you wanted was to feel Yoongi’s touch on your bare skin?

“We’re here for Namjoon—”

“God, can’t you take the hint?” Yoongi cut you off by pouting.

You blinked. Did this weirdo just pout? And oh, his lips…his lips were hot….hot against your own mouth.

“Yoongi….” You breathed, your eyes were too hazy to see his gummy smile.

“Let’s get the hell out of this place…”

That night, you once again lost count as to how many times you met his eyes. You also figured out that his eyes looked best the most when he’s down on his knees, facing your hips.

<<< The Performance >>>

You were expecting to meet Yoongi’s eyes as soon as you opened your very own one; however panic and fear consumed your whole being that you immediately ran out of Yoongi’s room. You’re too frightened to let him see you that you hurriedly put your clothes on and left his house.

It’s not like it was going to change the fact that you slept with your classmate in Psychology, however, you were scared. Scared to see his eyes back to being dead when just last night, the moon and the stars were there, staring at you like you’re not just a dust in this universe, but the whole universe.

Besides, you had one logical reason: you needed to pick up your costume for your upcoming performance with Yoongi. Taehyung, your designer friend was only available till nine in the morning, so you literally had to run like a lunatic right after you woke up from your cozy sleep on Yoongi’s bed.

Your outfit was perfect. Damn, Taehyung really had a talent when it came to this. Your confidence level was boosted just by wearing the clothes your great friend designed. You thought you’re finally ready to perform the song you and Yoongi produced for one month.

You were so ready, but your heart was not…

Just…where the hell was Yoongi? It had been two days since you last saw him. You hadn’t heard any news from him since you left his apartment the day after Namjoon’s party. Was he mad at you for leaving? Or did he even care?

You had fifteen minutes left before Mr. Kim Seokjin, your psychology professor, marked your grades zero.

“Fucking Min Yoongi, where the hell are you?” You grimaced when your call was directed on his phone’s voicemail.

You had two options: fake death so you wouldn’t have to perform, or kill Mr. Kim Seokjin. (They wouldn’t probably notice if you stabbed your professor on his side since most of them were busy preparing for their own presentations.)

But just as you’re about to resort to your latter option, Yoongi’s familiar scent immediately attacked your nose. You looked back only for you to cancel killing Mr. Kim Seokjin and just choose your former option.

God, how could it be possible for you to still want to stay alive when Min Yoongi was killing you with his looks? Gone was his light blond hair, but you’re not complaining since his now black curly hair was much much better than the previous one.

“Sorry I’m late. Holly peed on the couch again…” His multiple earrings looked too damn good on him. You’re silly; you’re fucking silly because you worried for nothing. Yoongi was still Yoongi, and the sparks in his eyes were still visible.

“It’s okay, we still have time…” You smiled as if the thought of murdering your professor didn’t just cross your mind. Oh well, nothing else mattered when Yoongi was here, right?

Mr. Kim Seokjin said that you and Yoongi would be the last performers for this day, which meant you still had at least half an hour left to stare at Yoongi like a vampire wanting to drink blood. But time flies fast when you’re busy with something. Thirty minutes ago, you were just ogling at your partner, right now, you were in front of the class, spitting fire with your partner.

The first verse of your produced song was rapped by Yoongi. Scratch that, Agust D was in front of you and not Yoongi. Your partner told you that he preferred to be called Agust D whenever he was performing his rap song.

Robber! Robber!

Sorry bae

Killer! Killer!

Sorry bae

Addiction—diction--diction

Sorry bae

“Oh! The court’s case you got away?”

Your partner smirked before proceeding to the next verse. You, on the other hand, stood there to hype the crowd.

You always get away

I’m sorry bae

You smoke cocaine but get away

Justice won’t be served

I’m sorry bae

Everything, everything, everything

Unfair

You were nervous. The next verse was assigned to you. The plan was that you only had to sing the chorus part, though Yoongi had another idea. He wanted you to go out of your comfort zone and try something new. So here you were, rapping.

You commit the same sin

Sorry bae

Your silence they love it

Sorry bae

I see same pigs on the senate

Boring bae

Your vote they bought and they’re not

Sorry bae

Nothing’s new but rich people’s car are

Brand new

Sorry bae

You can’t be illiterate coz they take advantage

Before you know it, you’re one of the reasons

Why innocents are salvage

Politicians know your name

But after the election they act like they don’t know your name!

You and Yoongi both performed the chorus part. It looked like the crowd was enjoying your presentation because they also started shouting and hyping you up.

They love, they love, they love themselves

They know, they know your sufferings

But they don’t they don’t and will never care

Youth wake up, stand up, we should fight the state! Brr!

The following verse was rapped by Yoongi again. You took your time to feel yourself as you discreetly watched the reaction of the people in front of you. A whole month of stress and worry seemed to pay off. You even locked eyes with Park Jimin, one of your most-respected classmates; he cheered for you and that was enough for you to successfully perform the next verse.

I wanna get job (job, job, job)

But I can’t get on the spotlight

Yeah I wanna have a good life!

But my parent’s wings are cozy

I just wanna hide

It’s okay I have time

My trust fund won’t end

So I can still live

And breathe while I finish this game

Called being “dependent”

All night, all day

All night, all day

Don’t care, don’t care, don’t care!

The next verse was easy to execute since you and Yoongi both rapped it. You were facing each other and suddenly, you forgot that there were eyes watching you. Min Yoongi caressed your cheeks once. You smiled as you sensually rolled your body.

Who plays by the rule?

No one!

Who wants to grab a woman's hair?

Husband!

Yoongi slightly pulled your hair this time. You grimaced, but you still continued rapping.

He has mistress so the wife’s depressed

He forgot about their kids but that’s okay

She can cover up for him like how

She can cover her bruise and play cool

As she says “I love him, anyway.”

You moved away from your partner. Your mood instantly changed as you approached the next verse. This one’s challenging to write. Your heart was breaking as you sang.

The other woman on the street has been pulled

By the stranger claiming she’s wet like a pool

She should be thankful since this will feel like

a dream come true

Lick it lick it right, you can take it, right?

She cried and cried and cried, that should be a sign

But “High five!” he told the other man

As the woman cried, her voice is too loud

So they killed her that night.

You let out your frustration by growling and jumping. Min Yoongi was also lost in his own world as he rapped—raising his middle finger from time to time.

They love, they love, they love themselves

They know, they know your sufferings

But they don’t they don’t and will never care

You’re horny, you fucked up! Go on and hate yourself! Brr!

It’s Yoongi’s own verse again. His mood shifted too. If you weren’t part of this performance, you would probably just stare at him. Goddamn, Min Yoongi had his own way of expressing himself.

Back back to the killings!

Your guns check

Call me when you need a gunman I can kill

Even for a dollar

Hashtag no conscience

I don’t believe in God so hell sounds okay

I’ll be with my gang gang

So hell won’t be boring!

The demon you summon

so money won’t be your worry

Payday, paycheck so I can have that rolex

He pointed the rolex on his wrist. It’s not an authentic one, but that’s not the point. Clearly, he just wanted everyone to see that there were other ways to “look cool.” However, many people still chose to listen and be their own demons.

Click clack to the bang bang

Your time has run out.

Click clack here’s my gun

I’m so high on drugs

I see you as a rat

They can control me with money

So you take these four shots

Your life is like a fruit fly

“I can’t understand. Why is it so easy for them?” This was Min Yoongi’s question to you. He asked this while you two were writing the following verse. He hated a lot of things, though he could forgive and tolerate some of it easily. However, he clearly told you that he could never treat someone right if that person used violence.

Click clack to the bang, you and you

Wait your turn

Shit! You little boy

Come here look at the blood

How? You’re asking me?

I don’t know, you’re a man you should know how

He also told you how much he hated this unfair world. He respected women more than ever, but Yoongi was an advocate of both equality and equity. Why can’t boys cry? Are we robots? These were some of his questions too.

If this is the kind of world we live in

I don't wanna live at all

If I exist for your pleasure

then I refuse to accept this call

You joined Yoongi singing the last verse of the song.

They love, they love, they love themselves

They know, they know your sufferings

But they don’t they don’t and will never care

Yo’ human, are you human? If yes then help us save this place!

By the time you finish the song, everyone’s clapping their hands and cheering for you and your partner. You swore you even saw Mr. Kim Seokjin wrote “100” on your paper.

You smiled. The performance was over, contrarily, the attraction you felt for your partner was only starting.

<<< Kimchi and Other Sauces >>>>

The first time you met Yoongi’s pleading eyes was during dinner time. After your performance in Mr. Kim Seokjin’s class, your partner said that the two of you should celebrate this success. Of course you immediately agreed, but that did not mean you were willing to spend money.

“I swear to God, Yoongi…if you ever bring me to a fine-dining restaurant, I will fucking kill you.”

You were not joking. You had student loans to pay so you couldn’t afford to spend a hundred dollar for a fucking spaghetti and sparkling water.

“Chill, you weirdo. We can just—” He stopped mid-sentence because a brilliant idea just popped into his mind.

“What? You’re not planning a yacht dinner date, are you!?” You started freaking out and the uneasiness you felt only intensified when Yoongi smirked.

“Actually, I was planning to…you know…maybe…make you eat my cum.” He simply shrugged his shoulders.

He said it so casually that you just stared at him. Was he serious or were you supposed to be laughing now? You could feel your blood rushing. You were so confused. Excited. Worried.

After what it felt like forever, the staring contest with Yoongi finally ended. He offered his hands and of course, you immediately took it. The both of you rushed toward his big, black motorbike. Yoongi only brought one helmet so he told you to just wear it. The ride to his house wasn’t that far, anyway.

The both of you were in a hurry. Countless profanities were thrown at him for driving hastily; Yoongi even parked his motorbike in a reckless way. Still, you two couldn’t care less, especially Yoongi. How could he? Huh, definitely not after you stroked his cock while driving. That’s really not a smart move, at least not when Yoongi’s mother welcomed the both of you just as Yoongi opened his apartment’s door.

“Eomma! What are you doing here?!” Clearly, your partner wasn’t expecting to see his own mother. It’s pretty obvious since Yoongi’s jaw dropped and his neck was slowly turning red.

“You brat! Why wouldn’t I be here? This is my house!” You knew you weren’t supposed to laugh, however it’s hard to control yourself when Yoongi’s being hit by his own mother while he was trying to cover the bulge on his pants.

“Eommoni! Please! I have a guest!” Yoongi got away from his own mother by hiding himself behind your small frame.

“What—oh!” His mother’s eyes widened when she saw you. She seemed surprised to see Yoongi bring someone. Of course, Yoongi had never brought his friends home. Not even once. At this point, his mother was actually convinced that her son was allergic to human beings.

“I didn’t know that Yoongi is friends with someone as charming as you…” The frightening aura of his mother was completely gone. The older woman engulfed you into a tight, warm hug as she asked your name. You answered her with a smile on your lips.

Yoongi’s mom led you in the kitchen. Actually, you tagged along with her. She wanted to prepare a meal for you and her son, but of course, you couldn’t just sit still and look pretty. As a sign of respect, you needed to help her. Besides, you loved kitchen works, though you’re pretty sure cooking hated every fiber of your being.

The older woman just asked you to set up the table because according to her, she was always in charge of cooking. She also told you to be prepared because you’d surely forget your name once you tasted her award-winning Sam Gae Tang or that chicken soup with ginseng. Hoseok, one of your best friends, made the best chicken soup so your standard was kind of high. For you, nothing could beat Hoseok, but we’ll just have to see.

“Please be kind to my mother…”

Yoongi’s voice and eyes were pleading as he sat beside you. The food was already prepared and the two of you were ready to eat. You were just waiting for Yoongi’s mom to finish washing her hands.

You just raised your brows at the man beside you, clearly not understanding why he’s pleading because really, you knew how to respect elders.

Yoongi sighed.

“My mom is a terrible cook. Her soup tastes like shit, man…” Yoongi shook his head like a traumatized kid. He even bit his lower lip.

You’re about to say something, but you heard his mother’s footsteps, meaning, if you spoke, she might hear you, and so you just kept your mouth shut. You’re expecting Yoongi to do the same, though he just leaned on your shoulders—his eyes were still begging.

“Please, baby? Just put a lot of kimchi and other sauces on your soup to get rid of the awful taste. Can you do that for me?”

You simply nodded. That night, you realized that Yoongi was willing to do everything just to make someone he loved happy. Days, weeks, months, and years passed and you still admired how every time you had dinner with him and his mother, Yoongi would urge you to put kimchi and other sauces on your chicken soup.

At this point, you were convinced you loved Min Yoongi. You had always loved cooking, hell, you were willing to lose your bachelor’s degree if that meant you would be good at cooking, because…

You, just like Yoongi’s mom, were a terrible cook. But Yoongi never complained nor did he ever put kimchi and other sauces on the food you cooked just for him.

<<< Silver Dust>>>>

The first time you asked Yoongi why he liked looking into your eyes was when the both of you were having a staring contest.

The wind was unbelievably cold tonight, clearly, you weren’t expecting to freeze in the middle of a summer night. The annoying weather led you into thinking if climbing on top of your boyfriend’s house’s roof was a good idea. Sure the stars were pretty, but you felt cold. Too cold.

“Do you know the story about the Window and the Mirror?” Yoongi asked out of the blue. He also pulled your body closer to him—making you grimace. The texture of the roof was hard on your back. You shook your head, why did you choose to lay on the roof without any blanket again? Sometimes, your choices in life were really questionable.

“Nah, what happened?” You’re never a fan of stories.

Yoongi sighed. He pulled you closer to him until your face was buried on his neck. Damn. He smelled like smoke and sex.

“Well, for starters, my father left us…”

Yoongi’s words monetarily made you stop breathing. You had known him for years now, but not once did you ever talk about his father. You were aware that his father left him and his mom, though you didn’t know the story behind it.

“My father was a good man and he always tells me he loves my mother more than ever. For the longest time of my life, I believed him. He never looked into anyone’s wife. He never had a mistress, but my father is selfish.”

You just hummed to let him know that you were listening.

He cleared his throat.

“Mom just wants a simple life and that’s why we never left Daegu. This is my home. Our home.” Yoongi’s grip on your shoulder tightened, he looked up in the sky—the stars were prettier when you were in Daegu.

“My father doesn’t like to be here, though. He loves the city. He craves city life. Ever since I was young, he kept telling my mom that they should move to Seoul. Abeonim hates farming. He calls our strawberry farm disgusting. Said he should become a CEO and not a stupid farmer.” Yoongi laughed bitterly. He could still remember the way his father said those words.

“And guess what? He fucking did. Min Hyun Sik, chief executive officer of Bighit Company…” Yoongi cackled and you gasped.

Min Hyun Sik was his father? That guy was like the richest man in South Korea! You wanted to confirm this news that he just dropped, however, you couldn’t move because Yoongi’s grip on your shoulders was so tight.

“He became someone with power by leaving my mother and I.” Yoongi repeated as his eyes darkened. He no longer found the stars pretty. For him they were just lights—shining to hurt his eyes.

“He just left a note like that was going to be enough. He didn’t even say sorry. The only words written on those notes are him telling me to go to University using the money he left.”

You bit your lower lip. His grip was really, really tight…

“He wants me to go to college so I can follow him in the city, and so I went to college. But it’s not because I want to follow him. I enrolled just so I can fucking drop out during my last year.”

You furrowed your brow. If that was Yoongi’s original plan, then how…how come he’s a college graduate now?

“That was the plan before I met you…” Yoongi’s grip on your shoulder loosens, giving you the opportunity to look into his eyes.

He smiled at you.

“So, the story of the Window and the Mirror?” He offered and you just nodded.

“There’s this rich man—”

“Richer than your dad?” You asked. He laughed.

“Fucking richer than my dad…” He left a chaste kiss on your mouth. You giggled. “Anyway, the man went to see a rabbi, some sort of Jewish teacher. Of course the rabbi asked him what he wanted and the rich man said he doesn’t know what to do with his life anymore.”

“Uh, duh? He should give us money!” You butted in again. Yoongi kissed you once more just to make you shut up.

“Unfortunately, the teacher didn’t tell the rich man to give you money, weirdo. The Rabbi just led him over to the window and asked him this.” Yoongi cleared his throat. “What can you see through the glass?”

“And what’s the response of the rich man, Mr. Min?”

“I can see men coming and going and a blind man begging for alms in the street.” Yoongi answered you. “The rabbi seemed content with his answers, so this time, the teacher led him into a large mirror to ask him another question...”

“What is the other question?” You pressed.

“The rabbi asked him this, baby…” Yoongi pressed his lips on your mouth before proceeding to the story. “When you look in this mirror, can you tell me what you see?”

“And?!” You pressed again.

“I can see myself…”

“Obviously.” You rolled your eyes. You just wanted to know the sense of this story.

“And you can’t see the others. Notice that the window and the mirror are both made of the same basic material, glass. You should compare yourself to these two kinds of glass. Poor, you saw other people and felt compassion for them. Rich — covered in silver — you see yourself.”

“Oh,” was all you could say.

Your boyfriend smiled at you.

“My father chose to look in the mirror and I almost did the same. I almost dropped out of college just because I want my father to see that having a degree is useless. But, baby, if I actually chose to drop out, I wouldn’t have met you. I wouldn’t be able to give my mother a better life. I wouldn’t be able to afford to hire a cook and who knows? If I drop out of college, I would probably still be eating my mom’s shitty chicken soup.” You laughed at that.

“I am just saying, I like to look into your eyes because it reminds me of a window. It made me see a lot of things—new opportunities. Because of you, I stopped being selfish. You removed the silver in the mirror; you turned the silver into dust.”

“I fucking love you!” This time, you initiated the kiss.

You kissed Min Yoongi so hard that when you pulled away, he’s desperately gasping for air.

“I fucking love you too.”

<<< The Proposal >>>>

After reminiscing some of your unforgettable moments with Min Yoongi, you finally looked into his eyes.

Yoongi proposed to you and you’re contemplating whether to say yes or no. Your boyfriend despised the crowd, but here he was, down on his knees—shakily holding a ring on his hand.

You examined his face. His lips were quivering, for the first time; you saw how vulnerable he looked. It’s as if his whole life depended on this, and to be honest, it did. Yoongi couldn’t imagine life without you.

“Baby, are you gonna say yes or no?” Yoongi knitted his brows together.

You chuckled. Typical, Yoongi.

“Please stand up…”

Your boyfriend looked at you with confused eyes. His heart started beating so fast he’s very sure it would explode.

“B-But why? Don’t you want to—“ He stammered.

“Just stand up, Yoongi.”

With a heavy heart, Yoongi followed what you wanted. Deep inside, Yoongi was already murdering his friend, Jeon Jeongguk. He just told Yoongi that proposing in a strange, busy city would win your heart.

You two were currently in New York, New York. Strangers were watching you, and Brooklyn Bridge served as your backdrop. Jeongguk said that if Yoongi proposed in a place where no one knew you, then it was a sure win because your mother wouldn’t be able to stop Yoongi. Your childhood crush or ex wouldn't be in the picture too so it was another win for Yoongi. But your boyfriend was starting to regret his decision. He shouldn’t have listened to Jeongguk. What did that dipshit even know about love?

“Yoongi, are you listening?”

“Huh?” Your boyfriend’s train of thoughts were suddenly halted when you spoke.

“I can’t believe you. I just said yes!” You shake Yoongi’s shoulder. It looked like he was still out of his mind and that made you anxious. What if…what if he decided you’re not worth it anymore? What if he didn’t want to marry you anymore?

“Baby, I can’t believe you too. Please give me your hands!” Yoongi exclaimed.

“Oh!” You exclaimed as well. What the hell! You were so apprehensive that you zoned out too!

“We’re both weirdos, do you know that?” Yoongi shook his head after putting the sparkling ring on your finger.

You laughed.

“Oh, just shut up and kiss me.”

“Gladly.”

[365text]

Hello! I’m a long time follower and I’ve recently been accepted to UC Berkeley as a transfer! I wanted to ask, what do you love about Berkeley? I’m trying to separate the prestige of going to THE UC from my personal feelings about the school. Getting the opinion of someone who has actually attended might be helpful. I appreciate anything you have to say!

hello !! omg “long time follower” what a CONCEPT that means you were probably here at least 4 years ago, considering i haven’t used this blog in the past 3 haha. 

also, CONGRATULATIONS !! i’m so excited + happy for you ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ (and i’m laughing at “THE UC” because i forget that we are also called Cal for that reason haha). v understandable to try to get a vibe about the school to separate prestige from the actual experience — i’ll try my best to share what i love about berkeley, though ofc (obligatory disclaimer) every person ultimately has different experiences at the same college, so YMMV :’)

i’m actually making/editing a video about what i’ll miss about berkeley [updated!] that im aiming to post by the end of the week heh so i’ll share it here / update this ask perhaps with a link when im done!

but in the meantime! what do i love about berkeley under the cut heh

berkeley is in general known for their academics / research opportunities! depending on what you intend to major on, it can be a really great resource to strengthen your foundations in your intended field :’) i study computer science, and imo berkeley’s CS program is pretty good — we have some particularly amazing lower division teaching faculty, and also pretty solid access to some innovative / Big Things™ research labs + professors in the field as well. i think in general their STEM is p strong, and i think various majors within the humanities as well. i would just say do your research for your respective interest in that regard, since i think some majors (ie. cognitive science) are probably “better done” at other schools? example UCSD has an actual dept. dedicated to cogsci, whereas berkeley’s cogsci program is just kind of like a program rip

i’m also in the college of Letters & Science (L&S), and what i love about that is the flexibility you have for your major of choice! transferring to EECS is now impossible (?) iirc given I started in L&S, but i was still able to major in CS (after meeting the GPA cap) which is honestly virtually the same degree — you have the same CS requirements, just without some of the COE requirements (like physics or multivariable calculus, which is fine by me LOL). being in L&S also means you’re able to double/minor in L&S majors more easily (anywhere from history to art to english to stats to data science, etc.) without needing to worry about overlapping individual college requirements! 

and one more thing about academics is that it’d probably be ideal if you could talk to someone who majors in the same thing you’re interested in, as i can only really speak to my personal experience as a CS major. the school is honestly really big, and experiences vary greatly within department to department! CS department is HUGE and our class sizes pretty much never dip below like 200-300, mostly averaging around 600-700 even in the upper division. but with smaller discussions, it usually doesn’t feel that bad. but i know that experience is v different for some other majors, where their upper division classes are like 20-30 people!

there’s also a bunch of student orgs / clubs, like a lot of schools i’m sure, that you can take part in! berkeley feels like a very self-driven school, in the sense that you can really feel students’ personal motivations, which drives the vibe that student orgs typically take on (in my experience).

i personally really like the city + campus! i like how berkeley feels like a ~ community ~ and almost a combination of a suburb / metropolitan area. you can find residential areas just by walking 20 minutes north of campus; you can go downtown / into oakland with similar travel time either on foot or by bus; you’re next to BART which gives you access to a bunch of bay area cities; and even tho the campus is an “open campus” which means anyone can come onto campus, it’s not integrated into the city as a school like NYU is — which means you still do get the campus vibe/feeling! also some areas of campus are absolutely beautiful, esp. during golden hour *chefs kiss* hehe.

we have a pretty decent selection of libraries to study in too HAHA. 

i think food in berkeley is def not bad either! near campus won’t be like Top Notch food and it’s not super cheap, but you get a lot more options that a lot of colleges don’t have within like 5-10 min. proximity i believe. but i am not 100% certain about that ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯  but it’s p easy to find good grocery stores if you prefer to cook @ cal, and p easy to find some quick food options that aren’t bad if you’re busy either!

like all schools tho, there are plenty of pros and cons depending on what you prefer / are interested in / what kind of person you are! there are lot of things i could talk about, but i’m not sure what you’d like to hear / what would be relevant for you heh. if you have anything you’d like me to elaborate on / clarify, please do lmk! 

at the end of the day, i think my personal belief is that a person’s college experience is largely shaped by their chosen community (re: people they choose to spend their time with), and if you find people that have the vibe you’re looking for in a college setting, i think it helps the overall experience a lot! sorry this is kinda rambling heh but congrats once again and GO BEARS LOL

[mermaidylluria]

Warning to all you mers on Tumblr out there: The purge has officially begun. My account just got flagged, and the only things I have on here are my own event photos (which are all family-friendly & fully clothed), and mermaid art (both classical and new, some of which has an LGBTQ focus- and may, at times, *gasp* in some cases feature kissing). So.. just as a heads-up, the whole Tumblog censorship hubub is a real thing. My hope was that in a page FULL of mermaids, it would be obvious what the space was about- that it was absent of pornographic or ANY kind of child-endangering content, n’ be subsequently left alone.  But it appears that’s not the case.  So now that we know mer art is going to be targeted (after all, “NEKKIT BEWBIES, ER MAH GURD!!”), I suggest we all get ready to either defend our posts (via disputing flagged content), participate in some kind of (peaceful, preferably meaningful & artful) protest, or just leave the platform all together. 'Cause this tells me that they're not only flagging classical art, they're also trying to eradicate LGBTQ content, and NONE of that is okay.  Personally, I’m going to do all 3.  Fight and dispute, while making preparations to move my space elsewhere.  Where that’ll be I’m not sure yet, but if we loose, I want a place for my mermaid stuff to go, and the demigods at Tumblr better be aware, I’m taking my decently-well-known bellydance n’ other blogs w/me too, if I’m forced to leave.

And just for my personal 2 cents on the matter?  Dear gods, not ALL of the internet has to be child friendly. XP Censorship like that happening on YouTube, Facebook & now Tumblr stifles creativity (look at channels like Glam&Gore, who can’t barely do SFX makeup anymore because she keeps getting demonetized), silences valuable artistic and minority voices, removes audiences for burgeoning creators (who, btw, may NOT be engaging in pornographic content in ANY way), and forces narrow-minded, puritanical standards of "decency" (which are by FAR the minority), over others' ability to operate successfully in that medium. This smothers decent, AWESOME things like art, science, expression and SO much more. XS  See, it’s not about the p0rn.  It’s about the CENSORSHIP.  This is the internet. It was designed to dispense and SHARE information, ideas, inspiration, fun, etc. Not be a surrogate nanny for your kids. XS

ANNNNYWAY, if you want to read more about what is and is not allowed on Tumblr now, you can visit: https://tumblr.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/231885248. (And be sure to read to the bottom, where users can find out how to appeal post & entire blog flags under the last 2 questions.)  And if you have a mermaid blog where ANY kind of toplessness is involved, note that "female presenting nipples" is distinctly mentioned, which, as I'm sure lots of you already know, directly impacts classical AND modern art- one of the few things on Tumblr that can be shared WITHOUT a copyright, as well as a TON of mermaid art, classical and otherwise. XP 

What does this mean?  Well.. in simple terms, it means that stuff like Botticelli and Picasso are no longer welcome on Tumblr.  It means that Reubens, Waterhouse and Rodin, if they have artistic interpretations of naked women in their work, cannot be shared on Tumblr.  Even though their works are featured in international museums of the highest callibur, lauded all over the world as legends of innovation, vision, unparalleled beauty, & precision, expression & creativity, and world-famed for their social and economic value.  Those.. are not welcome here now, apparently.  Meanwhile, images & videos stolen from present-day & other modern hard-working artists, photographers, cartoonists, writers and other creators from allll over the world arrre hunky-dory. XP  DaFUQ, Tumblr??? (At -least- they mention mis-attribution & non-attribution on their new guidelines now. That at least, is an improvement. X*)

But now.. let’s see how that’s directly affected my blog, shall we..?  ‘Cause, as I mentioned before, I figured surely since I didn’t actually have any pr0n on my pages, I & other mer pages should be safe, right?  BZZZZZZZT, WRONG.  After getting this e-mail (pictured above), I went through my whole blog and found the 4 posts that were "flagged" as having adult content. *rolls eyes* 

3 of them were reblogs &1 was an original post. 

2 of those posts were queer-positive modern art. 

1 was a photographic collection of pieces FEATURED IN "W" MAGAZINE, 

And the last is a piece of classical style, queer-positive art. XS 

One of the modern pieces doesn't even show nipples, just saggy bewbies COVERED with small seashells. 

The other modern-style piece was a Rackham style drawing, where the tatas are but a mere suggestion of simple lines and dots. 

One was shown in a INTERNATIONAL FRICKING FASHION MAGAZINE SPREAD, which was apparently suitable for SOMEONES' interpretation of public consumption, 

and the last only shows suggestions & curvatures of breasts! (Showing the side and outer portions of the female chest, with no nipples. XP)

-And WHY AM I HAVING TO JUSTIFY THIS???? THIS IS ART. THIS IS NOT P0RN. Again I say "WTF, Tumblr????" XS

As you can see, 3 of my posts were reblogs, so I had no means of disputing those posts.  (According to their new guidelines, the owner of the original post has to do that, and if they are found as having “inappropriate content,” there’s no further means of appeal.)   But one of them, one of the very first posts I ever made in this blog, was an original, so I was able to refute its being deemed as inappropriate.  FIrst, you have to go through allll of your posts to find.. whatever it is someone’s had issue with.  (Whether it’s a person who’s flagged it or something chosen by Tumblr’s algorithms/keyword alert systems, I have no idea.)  But they don't even bother to link you in your notification e-mail, so first you’ve gotta FIND what’s being flagged before you can repeal it.  (I didn’t even know what I was looking for at first.  They never specify.  Would it be a tiny new icon near the Edit and Share buttons at the bottom?  A wee little flag pointer, outside of the post itself..?  Do I got to my posted page n’ try to find it?  Or will it be in my Posts stream, & the whole post be red..?  Who knows?)  But eventually, after enough scrolling, I found what I was looking for.  A big red bar across the affected posts.  -And if it’s a post you can do something about, they give you a button to push on the designated "flagged" work, at the top right. After you hit the "dispute" button, you’re given a largely blank page.  In the center, you get to choose between Dispute, Cancel or Learn More.  No “tell us why you feel this should not be flagged, why it doesn’t violate our rules,” nothing.  Nowhere to speak your peace.  You just hit a button, and you’re done.  You get no say, other than “I object, your honor!”  NOT COOL, people. NOT COOL.  You clearly don’t wanna hear the voices of your content creators, or, at least, enough to allow them to speak for the work they felt appropriate enough to post..

Reading this from another media source?  Please don’t discount this issue if you don’t personally have a Tumblog.  It doesn't really matter whether you use tumble or not, whether you think it's lame or not, etc. The problem is much, much larger than that, and it’s growing.  This is another very large, social media platform that's being affected by censorship in the name of marketing- and thus, be child-friendly.  They want the whole family to be able to come and see all the ads they wanna put here, and without that, they don’t make their money.  So anything not child-friendly, even vaguely PERCEIVED as not child-friendly (by God only knows whose standards), is being wiped out from the whole platform.  Don’t believe me?  It’s happened on YouTube, on Facebook, and likely, many others.  Do some googling and check it out for yourself.  YouTube is a platform that’s being strangled by this phenomenon right this very second.  There are videos on it.  Go see. Now.  ‘Cause if we don’t educate ourselves about this n’ do something to fight it, what’s happening to YouTube is our future.  Not just here on Tumblr, but EVERYWHERE.

Big Brother isn't just watching, guys, he's stealing your open arenas for personal and creative expression, so he can better market to you & yer kids.  He wants EVERYONE to buy his Stuff.   And if the kids can’t see it here, they won’t ask mommy and daddy to go get it for them.  So out classical art, and LGBTQ content, and mermaids go.  Out the door.  (Meanwhile, who do kids love?? UM.. MERMAIDS.  HELLO!!!  What should be educating them about history and the arts?  UMM.. FINE ART, HELLO.  Who teaches them about tolerance and diversity and SO MUCH MORE?  Umm.. THE LGBTQ community!  Who teaches them about what human bodies look like, and that it’s okay to have ANY kind of body?  UM.. BODY POSITIVE ART, THANK YOU.)  

We need to put the kaibosh on this somehow, now. Not just for Tumblr, or Facebook, or YouTube. We've got to find SOME way of letting the Big Boys know this is not activity we will tolerate. 'Cause the places to freely express ourselves are going to continue to diminish, get scarcer, and fewer.. until they're all.. gone.

ART =/= PORN, YOU IGNORANT, PURITANICAL, MONEY-GRUBBING FISHTITS.  LEARN TO POLICE YOUR OWN CHILDREN, MORE EFFECTIVELY POLICE GENUINE CRIMINALS, AND LEAVE THE REST OF THE INTERNET ALONE.  Please.

♥

[geminimoonbeamx]

Naive: Part 1

A/N: I’m so freaking happy you guys seemed to like the intro, I wrote this and a few other “chapters” up in one night! Hopefully I can get you guys as hyped as I am for this story😭💛

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Just cursing in this chapter because I have the mouth of a sailor. The stirrings of sexual tension. The big stuffs coming next time though you guys I promise lol

Summary: As the goddaughter of Tony Stark you were no stranger to the Avengers, but when you meet the newest member- you’re a little more then intrigued. Unfortunately for him, Bucky Barnes has caught your eye.

💘💘💘💘💘

You and Pepper sit in the back of a sleek black Mercedes as it winds through the city, towards Manhattan and the Tower.

It had only been a few years since you’d been in New York but damn, had your forgotten how small this city made you feel. You stare out of the window, your eyes tilted up at many sky scrapers, the sun glaring through your oversized sunglasses as you look at the sky.

It reminds you of a canopy, the way the buildings seem to box you in. An urban jungle that smelled like human pee and chronic exhaustion.

“Are you excited for the internship?” Pepper asks you with a grin and you nod enthusiastically, biting your bottom lip.

What she was talking about was the internship you’d managed to score at the American Museum of Natural History.

“So fucking excited. I mean- I know they’re going to have me doing chump work. Since I only just got my bachelors degree, but the boost that it’s giving my career is insane. Like, I’ll be working on my graduates degree at the same time so I’m hoping if I can make a good impression they’ll refer me to the Smithsonian”

You cant help but babble, your mouth going a mile a minute.

School had always been important to you. It’d been drilled into you by your scientist of a mother, and your college professor of a grandmother that education was the most valuable thing in this world. You’d luckily inherited your moms bright nature, and had graduated high school as the Valedictorian…

Which always made you laugh because you’d ditched more then a third of your senior year to smoke pot with your friends in your car and had still managed to pass top of your class.

College was harder, just like you knew it was going to be. But you still goverened a high grade point average. Double majoring in Sociology and History and minoring in Art Forensics.

Because you’d known, ever since you’d watched Indiana Jones when you we’re six, that all you wanted to do was work in Museums. You wanted to be surrounded by ancient scrolls and mystical tombs. You wanted your life to be the adventure you’d mapped it out to be in your head.

Plus the ide of your fat ass swinging around on vines and running from giant rolling death balls made you smile.

“That’s a lot to have on your plate at once. But if anyone can do it, it’s you. But just know if you neglect your flower girl duties, you will be replaced” Pepper jokes and you giver her a “har har”

“You mean maid of honor duties” You verify.

“What? You cant be both? We also we’re thinking of having you be the ring bearer” You roll your eyes at the strawberry blonde who’s typing away at her blackberry. It’s such a familiar sight, a wave of nostalgia washes over you.

You’d spent a good chunk of your childhood looking up to her.

When the car pulls into the garage of what used to be Stark, but what was now Avengers tower you cant help but feel like you’re ten years olf again. Going to spend two weeks in the summertime with your “Tony Tino”

“So they should be out of their meeting in about twenty minutes, your bags are being brought to your room and the boxes got here a few days ago” Pepper confirms the plans to me as we make our way through the lush waiting room and into one of the many elevators.

“Okay, cool. I’ll just go start unpacking then-”

“Nope” She interjects and I shoot her a “why the hell not?” look.

“Tony said you should get something in your stomach. He know’s you never eat on planes” Pepper covers for herself quickly, not wanting you to see through her lie and ruin Tony’s surprise.

“Okay I guess. I’m not really hungry but you can show me the new kitchens. All he’s been talking about is how the upgrades we’re way cool” You seem to be tottaly oblivious wich makes her let out a metaphorical sigh of relief.

The kitchens are even more wicked then what Tony had told you and your eyes light up as you asses the huge room. The stainless steel and clean white walls making it look like something out of Star Trek.

“Hello Ms. Y/L/N” Fridays sing song robotic voice chimes from nowhere and you grin.

“Friday! How have you been?” You know she’s just a computer, just a hard drive, but you talk to her like she’s a real person.

Just like you used to do with Jarvis who, now, actually was a real person.

“I’ve been well, Ms. Y/L/N. Tony has missed you very much. He’s been very busy preparing for your stay. He’s instructed me to make sure you are fed because he knows you “barf” on airplanes. What can I have made for you? The chef’s specialty is French cusine”

You quirk your mouth at the word barf.

That was one time and you we’re fourteen. Would he ever let you forget it?

“Umm, just a bowl of fruit sounds good” You instruct her rolling your eyes at Pepper who insists you eat a more well rounded diet.

“Fine- and a yogurt”

You sit across Pepper, at one of the glass dining tables. You’d been hungrier then you’d realized and had eaten the entirety of the mixed fruit and yogurt happily. Your chatting about the NYU admissions when the door to the kitchens opens and people flooded in.

Those people being the Avengers- sans a couple members, but still, a decent(menacing) group. With Tony at the front.

The grin on his face is big- his eyes crinkling with crows feet as he approaches you, his arms dramatically open wide.

“Hey Tino!” You laugh as you hop down from the stool and walk over, giving him a tight squeeze. He wasn’t the tallest men, but was still much taller then you so you wrap your arms around his middle as he squeezes the life out of your head.

“Hey kiddo” He lets you go after a moment, putting a hand on your shoulder “How are you doing? Are you feeling better? Did you eat?” He looks you over as he speaks.

You look…different. Your hair is different, you’d cut at least a four or so inches off and it now sat just past your shoulders. It was lighter too.

“Yes god father, I ate. Chill out” You shake your head.

“You dyed your hair” It almost sounds like an accusation and you fight the urge to run your fingers through it self consciously.

Your hair had always reminded him so much of your moms…“It looks nice kid! Makes you look like you’re about thirty though”

“Don’t be mean to me!”

“I’m not- I’m not. I said it looks nice. Right Pepper, you heard that?” Tony looks to Pepper who’s still at the table, she just snorts at her fiancée.

“I think it brings out your eyes” Natasha pipes up as she comes up and gives you a short hug.

“Well thanks. At least someone here actually loves me. I missed you Nat, how have you been?”

And that’s how it goes, you making the rounds, reuniting with the people all around you.

Bruce blushes when you hug him tightly and ask him how things we’re hanging in the lab. Thor picks you up, as he always had, and told you how he missed his little lady. You think you hug Wanda the tightest. You’d kept in touch with her the most, you guys were close in age and you just clicked with her. You knew all about her little romance with Vision who you still had the urge to call Jarvis.

“You’ll always be Jarvis to me” You tell him. He, like Pepper, had watched you grow up.

Clint ruffles your hair in a way that makes you swat his hands away furiously. “How’ve you been, squirt?” Before Sam tells you you’d gotten a nice tan in Europe to which you cant help but bark a laugh at. “Okay creep” you punch his shoulder affectionately.

“Hey Steve” You beam at him reaching on the very tip of your toes to wrap him in a quick hug.

God, he’s still hot.

You’d had a thing for him back a few years ago. He was going through a rough patch and needed a friend and you had this inviting way about you that he’d melted into. It never got serious- you hadn’t even really kissed the guy but you’d been close.

You thought it would have been weirder seeing him again. Especially after the whole scene Tony had caused between the both of you but it wasn’t.

He still looked something akin to sunshine. His aura bright and golden.

And he was standing next to someone you’d never met- in person. But you knew exactly who the guy was.

You we’re a history major for fucks sake. Of course you knew who James Buchannan Barnes was.

“How’ve you been, Y/N? It’s been a while” Steve grins down at you.

“It really has, stranger. Thanks for keeping in contact. You know, I didn’t teach you how to properly text for nothing" You shoot at him, with no malice but it makes him shift uncomfortably on his feet.

“Yeah- I’m sorry. I should have checked in more it’s just been really hectic-” You watch him with a satisfied leer. You’d always loved making him squirm, and he just made it all too easy.

“You’re fine Steve” You wave him off “I get it. You’re still all technologically impaired. Guess I’m just not important enough for you”

You use that tone- the one that had always got him so worked up and he just puffs out a breath, shaking his head.

“That’s not- your messing with me” He catches on and you giggle and roll your eyes.

Oh, your sweet 40’s child.

“Always” You inform him before turning your attention to the man you hadn’t been formally introduced to yet and giving him a smile. That smile.

Bucky can see why you we’re known for being a flirt.

He’d just watched you work a room full of people, watched the way that the team reacted to your warmth. The way you seemed to have your own unique bond with everyone and he couldn’t lie- it was intriguing.

You’re pretty- in a way that he didn’t see a lot. Yeah, your bigger then he’d been expecting; all hips and thighs and a large bussom but there’s something eye catching about you. Maybe it’s the way your eyes are lined with sharp cat eye liner or the way your eyebrows arch. It reminds him of home, of the women that he’d grown up around.

“Hi, I’m Y/N” You hold your hand out to his. Your eyes are sparking with curiosity as he reaches down to take it.

“I’m-” He starts and you cut him off, your playful nature coming out.

“ Sargent James Buchannan Barnes? I’ve been learning about you since like kindergarten!”

“That so? You can call me Bucky” he drawls out.

“Bucky. It’s really nice to meet you. Any friend of Splangles here is a friend of mine. I mean unless you’re as boring as he is”

You really we’re a charmer. And he thought he’d been charming back in the day. You could run circles around him.

He can’t help the smooth chuckle that leaves his throat as Steve protests with an half offended “hey!”

“I’m just kidding, Steve. You know I love you!” You pinch his cheek, your nose scrunching before turning away from them and back to Tony.

Not before telling Bucky you were “Excited to pick his brain sometime”

Bucky’s gaze is focused on your retreating figure. He feels a little…dizzy. The way you feel when you get off a ride at Luna Park.

He doesn’t think he’s felt like this anytime this decade.

Steve shoots him a knowing look.

The Y/N effect.

“Told ya’ jerk” Steve pushes Bucky’s shoulder in a friendly manner as he passes him and Bucky shakes him, and the weird head high off with a quick “Punk”.

Tony hasn’t stopped talking since that first moment you’d been reunited and you hang onto every word. You’d always loved this about him; that he’d talk to you. And like, really conversation. Not just treat you like your were some dumb kid who couldn’t keep up.

You end up leaving the rest of the “Scooby gang” and you follow him to where you’re assuming is his office.

“Okay but how are they going to try and pass Government restrictions on you? It doesn’t make any sense? If they had half a brain they’d label you an international task force- but I mean then you’d have to deal with the UN more I guess. And aren’t they still super salty about the accords?…”

Tony’s over being impressed with the way your brain works. He’s been over it since you were eight and you’d called your teacher a facist.

“Super salty” Tony affirms with a sigh “But at least we have SHEILD backing us now. And there’s some new members. Oh yeah and Thors phycotic brother promised he won’t try to invade earth anymore”

You snort “Well that’s a relief I guess. He’s finally getting his younger sibling syndrome in check”

“I think Bruce scarred him for life”

“Good. He needed it. Where’s Rhodey? I noticed that he wasn’t down stairs” you ask the question that been bugging you.

“Oh yeah. He had a physical therapy appointment but he’ll be gracing us with his presence for dinner”

“How’s he doing?”

“You know Rhodey. He’s kicking PTs ass. He should be able to get back in the suit in a few months”

That makes you happy. Like genuinely so happy and relieved because you loved the shit out of Rohdey and you’d been really worried about him after the…accident.

“Yeah. He’s such a bad ass- uh hey Tino, where are we going? I thought your office was on the 47th floor?” You watch as the light around the 15 lights up, announcing your stop.

“I thought we’d make a detour. So I know you wanted to get your own apartment- but rent in the city is outrageous and you decided to humor your dear old god dad… So I improvised” Tony explains and your whole face is twisted up in confusion because what is he even talking about?

“What?” You hiss as the elevator doors ding open.

The room that’s revealed has your jaw dropping and harsh gasp ripping itself from your throat.

“Think of it as a graduation present” Tony’s happy- your reaction is just what he’d wanted.

You looked childlike as you took in the space. There were large, floor length windows that lined the furthest wall- the natural lighting was something out of a dream. The couches were plush and charcoal colored, an array of throw pillows lining them. There were white furry rugs and marble accents and gold lining to everything. The color scheme you were obsessed with.

“Tony oh my god! I love it!” You squeak. How had he gotten your tastes so well? “This is why pepper started following all my Pinterest boards huh?”

“We wanted it to feel like your own place. There’s a bed room and a bathroom back down that hall”

You turn to him, your bottom lip jutting out.

“Don’t cry!” He protests and you sniffle dramatically.

“I just- I can’t believe you had the time to do all of this. Thank you so so so so much, Tino. I love it. Best graduation gift ever”

He’d always spoiled you, a fact that you weren’t ignorant to but this… It almost felt like too much.

“I’m just happy you’re staying here. I think NYU and the internship will be really good for you. And Pepper needs someone to talk wedding plans with cause she’s staring to make my ears bleed with that shit-”

“And you want to keep an eye on me while I withdrawal?” You guess, saying what he hadn’t.

The atmosphere in the room seems to suddenly shift.

He chomps his teeth together with an audible snap and nods.

“We don’t know the entirety of side effects from coming off that drug so yes. I want you here while you do it. Even though I still don’t think it’s the best idea” Tony uses that parental voice you hate on you and you sigh and walk over to one of the Windows. Staring down bustling streets below you.

“I know, I don’t know if it’s the best idea either but somethings gotta’ give. I’m willing to try anything at this point…I don’t want to feel like this anymore” you whisper the last part.

Tony watches you, his arms folded over his chest as he deflates.

“Okay- just like I told you over the phone we’ll try it. Ween you off slowly. But if it gets too intense we’re starting them back up again”

I’m not gonna lose you too, is what he doesn’t say.

No matter how bad the idea of it scares you, you know it’s the best route. The only one you’ve got left.

—–

Dun dun dunnnnn. Y/N’s on drugs say what?! Trust me, it’s not what your thinking. Unless you’s a mind reader- then it’s exactly what your thinking. I’m thinking? We’re thinking?😂

Ps. My laptops acting super wonky so the tags should be up later! I promise I’ve got you guys lol! And continue to ask if you want to be tagged in upcoming parts.

https://xgminigypsy.tumblr.com/post/166595772104/naive-part-2 PART TWO

https://xgminigypsy.tumblr.com/post/166629591854/naive-part-3 PART THREE

https://xgminigypsy.tumblr.com/post/166664664834/naive-part-4 PART FOUR

https://xgminigypsy.tumblr.com/post/166703266654/naive-part-5 PART FIVE