#hell epoque and other poems

[hellepoque]

Giverny: 4 Jan 2021

We share a pack of Skittles by Monet’s grave, a cool slab of marble and garden box jungle on an otherwise scorching day, let our voices sing like an undercroft, full of whispers and whimsy, lower than the wind, for this yellow dust is hallowed, laureled in bulbous peonies and ivy, where a man more cosmic than my companion or I and his pink house, green-hatched roof to match were melded into museum so that they might never die. My companion pulls Orangina from his backpack and watercolor pencils from mine, and we sit in the feathered shade of a tamarisk shrub, feasting and facsimiling as the time, smelling of thyme, elapses, slowly, complimentary to our moribund audience, who has on his lily-stained hands the rest of today, tomorrow, and tonight. My companion, the one alive eats only the orange Skittles. I outline his portrait only in pastel black, with his legs sprawled, though they’re crossed, lips pouty, though they’re proud and smiling, saying, “History belongs to the histrions. I’m botching your portrait for aesthetic value. Don’t you think that’s wrong? At the very least, odd?” and he replies, “I don’t know,” then turns with sugar-orange fingers to the scant shadow of the cross. “What do you think, Claude?”

—“Giverny,” draft one, from Hell Époque and Other Poems

[svlene]

SELENE KIM ( CIS FEMALE & SHE/HERS )? oh, aren’t they the TWENTY-FIVE (510) year old VAMPIRE who works as a BARTENDER at ELSWOOD’S? word on the streets is that they are INDEPENDENT & ASTUTE, but they can also be CALCULATING & RETICENT. by the way, they look eerily similar to LEE SUNG-KYUNG, don’t they? ( izzie / 21 / pst / she/hers )

give this a like if you want to plot and i’ll hit you up!

FULL NAME: selene kim /  kim seol-hee  AGE: 25 ( 510 )  PRONOUNS / GENDER: cis female / she/hers SPECIES: vampire HOUSING: she lives in halkirk, because as much as she likes mansions, she lives alone and such a large house like the ones in rosehill would be too empty. she has a nice apartment in one of the wealthier complexes, and it’s very well-furnished ( read: expensive furniture ). FAMILY: she has no surviving family that she knows of because she’s a vampire and lost contact with her mother centuries ago. she’s never been pregnant, either, so she doesn’t have descendants from one of her previous relationships back when she was human. if she has any living relatives, she doesn’t know about them. she’s fine that way. it’s less attachments to worry about. BACKSTORY: 

in 1508, kim seol-hee was born in the honam region, inheriting her mother’s beauty and grace. she would later show she had taken after her father’s ruthlessness and ambition, though she would never meet him — he was a nobleman and her mother, his lover and a kisaeng ( an entertainer & courtesan )

because seol-hee’s mother was a kisaeng, she was to become one too. she was educated in various disciplines, including prose, poetry, music, dance, medicine, and needlework. by the age of 18, she had surpassed her mother in skill and popularity, and became renowned for her poetry and singing voice. she went from entertaining in the honam region to the courts seoul because of her talents, and though the training was stricter, it was a better opportunity.

she took several lovers over the years, scholars and former soldiers and government officials, and while men wanted her, none would really have her. not until she met jong-yul, a very rich, very charismatic scholar. they spent a significant amount of time together, and he promised her something better than wealth and prosperity—immortality. seol-hee agreed; ever opportunistic, she knew she wasn’t getting any younger. and then what would she do? retire and run a tavern like her mother? become a concubine like her friend? ( if she wanted that, she would’ve done it already. )

so he turned her into a vampire, and that was that. in an ideal situation, they would’ve traveled together, but life wasn’t a dream and he wasn’t her savior—nor did she need one. he said he’d meet her again someday, and so they parted ways. three years later, she faked her death, left kim seol-hee to only be remembered by her poems and talents, and resurfaced in another city under a new name.

she did this for several decades, doing what she did best: entertaining and seducing, though with the added occupations of political informant and occasional murderess. with her clientele, ~important~ people she socialized with, and her tendency to frequent guest houses and taverns, she had a wealth of information at her fingertips that was all too easy to collect. as for the killings—it was also too easy to bleed choice victims dry ( ie, japanese generals during the japanese invasions of 1592 - 1598 ).

at the turn of the 17th century, she traveled to china with a dignitary; it was time to leave korea for somewhere new. she grew tired of the chinese official, and traveled through china, sometimes as the lover of a nobleman or scholar. some years later, she met jong-yul again, and they began to travel together. there’s something to be said about having a constant in a world where everyone around you grows old, and jong-yul would become that for her.

they set their sights on europe, and hitched a ride on the ship of portuguese merchants. she befriended an astronomer, who taught her portuguese. she would go on collecting several languages over the centuries to come, including mandarin and cantonese chinese, english, spanish, french, german, japanese, and italian. she has since smoothed the accent from her voice.

at this point, she’d amassed more than a fair amount of wealth from her conquests. she and jong-yul spent their travels pretending to be visiting nobles or whatever they needed to be; they took and shared lovers; she immersed herself in the art movements of the years, becoming a singer, a dancer, a writer, a muse; she did whatever she wanted because she could. she continued to trade information for favors and money. she took different names with different cities. she slipped into new roles as easily as slipping into a new dress.

in the middle of the 19th century, jong-yul disappeared. of course, she was angry and despondent, but still, she carried on. perhaps they would meet again, like he promised ( or perhaps he was dead. there were vampire hunters out there, no? ) she went from milan to paris just as the belle epoque began, where she was once again a performer and courtesan. it was what she loved, after all.

during wwii, she was a spy for the allies because of her intelligence, fluency in several languages, and inability to die ( though as if any humans knew this ). she traveled across europe, collecting intel through her own methods as well as her many connections. for a centuries-old vampire, it was a quick, though devastating, four years, watching the world pass through cruel hands yet again. she was glad when korea is liberated from the japanese, though the aftermath still broke her heart when her country was torn in two. 

she continued moving around the world, changing names as easily as she changes clothes, settling in california for a few years before moving back to france, then to portugal, germany, singapore, then in south korea. she went back and forth to avoid suspicion that she looked the same after ten or so years ( she’s just effortlessly youthful, you know ). her occupations range from translator to dancer to informant to socialite to anything she wishes. she has a lot of time and money on hand to develop skills, after all.

somehow, she ends up in fairview. it’s full of small town charm and perhaps something more interesting, and it makes a good place to lie low for a while. she’s not part of the elswood coven, she just kinda works at the bar because she needs something to do.

PERSONALITY: 

she’s vivacious, independent, and charming, chasing after thrill and indulgence, but also selfish, vain, and calculating. generally an outgoing & lovely woman until you cross her, and is particularly ruthless when it comes to getting what she wants. knows a lot of secrets about a lot of people. tries her best not to raise suspicion, and lives life as a seemingly normal, but very rich and rather flippant human. gets her blood through various…connections, whether that’s a hospital or somewhere else. the red wine in her glass is most definitely not a nice merlot.

flirty as hell, but also knows not to get attached since, y’know, immortality and her partner disappeared without a word decades ago so she’s still kind of bitter about that!! enjoys attention and companionship, basically. here for a good time and a long time. she also likes ~the art of conversation~ and learning about people. definitely into a good story, though it takes a lot to fully get her attention since she’s not easily impressed.

she has seen a lot. been through a lot. lived through a lot of history, so has zero time for bullshit. she’s also terribly, terribly bored, always looking for something new and interesting to take up her time. immortality can truly drag on.

MISC.

Does your character have any nicknames? not really tbh. she’s not one for nicknames. she has a lot of names though from over the years (-:

Does your character have any distinguishing features such as tattoos, scars, piercings, etc? she has two piercings on both her earlobes. no tattoos. 

What is your character like in relationships? Are they clingy? Faithful or unfaithful? Do they jump from one relationship to the other? Do they even have an interest in something romantic? faithful in the sense she’ll end the relationship once she’s bored rather than hang on and cheat behind their back ( though she’s certainly been unfaithful in the past ). she’s much fonder of arrangements that have no strings attached, so she can be with who she likes, when she likes. it doesn’t matter if a relationship lasted ten years or two months---once she’s grown tired of it, she’ll end it and move onto the next one. or be single for a while. it depends. romance does interest her to an extent, but she hasn’t been as in love as she was with jong-yul in a very long time. it’d take a very special being for her to give so much of herself to someone else again.

What kind of things does your character like? What do they dislike? she enjoys the finer things in life, like art, beautiful clothing, and jewelry. she has penchants for designer labels and vintage clothing, as well as obscure art spanning centuries. she loves traveling and exploring new cities; she likes architecture, languages, gambling, and reading; she still loves dancing and singing. she also likes technology for how innovative it is. she dislikes boredom, staying in one place for too long, and people getting too close to her. she hates nosy people, but she wouldn’t ever let someone know that. 

How does your character treat their friends and family? How about strangers? Enemies?  treats her friends very well. will give them gifts, will help them in their times of need, would kill for them. literally. she’s a very good friend ( and ally ) to have. she’s friendly and seemingly open to strangers, and is generally a vibrant, outgoing woman. you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, after all. as for enemies, she’s rather ruthless when dealing with them. if you’re on her bad side, you’ll know. also pretty fond of snide comments.

Where does your character go when they are angry? it’s a mystery

What is your character’s biggest fear? Who have they told this to? Who would they never tell this to? Why? she’s not really scared of much at this point. being killed would really suck, but she’s lived so long that death doesn’t particularly scare her either. fearlessness isn’t necessarily always a good thing, though.

Does your character have a secret? If so, what is it? what secrets doesn’t she have? one, her real name is kim seol-hee. she has spied for governments, spied for criminals. she has blackmailed numerous people and sold secrets and information to the highest bidder without regard for the consequences of the parties involved. she has killed not only to feed, but for money, for revenge, and she is not sorry for some of it. her wealth is certainly not built on virtue and taking the high road, and, well, she’s a vampire. depending on who she’s talking to, that might be the biggest secret of all.

Has your character ever been in love? Have they ever had a broken heart? she was in love with the vampire who turned her, as they spent numerous years together and formed an unbreakable bond---until he disappeared and broke her heart. she got over it. mostly. sometimes she gets angry at him for disappearing, and other times she grows despondent, afraid that he was killed by a hunter.

Does your character have any flaws? What are they? she’s self-serving, vain, selfish, ruthless, fickle. she’s a liar, and won’t hesitate to deceive someone to save herself. she’s not the most trustworthy, either, and her loyalty can sometimes only last so long. she’s awfully cynical, though she doesn’t show it.

What is one strong memory that has stuck with your character from childhood? Why is it so powerful and lasting? 500 years has blurred memories, but sometimes, she’ll remember singing with her mother as a little girl. everyone starts somewhere, and despite their circumstances, her mother truly loved her and tried to give her the best she could.

WANTED CONNECTIONS / PLOTS: 

vampire friends/allies --- as much as she keeps others at a certain length, it’d actually be nice to have friends who won’t die in a few decades. these could be vampires she’s known for a very, very long time, those she’s just recently struck up a friendship with, a new vampire she’s mentoring because sometimes she does nice things, etc. these could also be varying degrees of trust---maybe they’re proven loyal till the end, or they’re just around each other because it’s fun. or they relate to each on some vampiric level. 

acquaintances / friends --- she’s not trying to make her life difficult, so she’s a pretty friendly person until you piss her off. so these would be people she gets along with for whatever reason. also, human friends who think she’s human and she’s not doing a thing to correct them would be fun!!

interests --- she thinks you’re interesting/amusing and hangs around you for that reason.

enemies --- you got on her bad side for some reason, or she got on yours. or you just hate each other. also here for love/hate relationships with all that tension and ‘i hate you but i can’t stay away from you and arguing with you is really fun and also you’re kind of hot???’

other supernatural being shenanigans 

she hasn’t been in town as long as some other people ( i haven’t really figured it out yet, but she’s only been around for a few years, or maybe it’s one of those things where she pops in every couple decades ), and you don’t trust her. you think she’s hiding something and you aim to find out what’s behind the charming facade, and you’re sure all she’s feeding you are lies ( which is true ).

you’re at elswood’s and she’s bartending that night and now you’re drunkenly spilling all her problems to her. and you’d think all this years she’d get good at comforting people, but she’s not. she’s just good at faking it!

anything else!!! pls come to me w any ideas!!!

[tolrais]

So.

Tonight I was looking for more sources on medieval music (12th century as my period of interest), being as how I am no longer a uni student (and alumni stuff at my uni is crap) I decided to have a quick look on archive.org. Most of what comes up is very outdated (think Belle Epoque outdated), which is not remotely what I'm looking for. I notice that you can order the searches by date.

'Brilliant!' I think to myself. 'I can get sources from this millennia, great!' I notice a book: My songs: Poems of the Trobairitz, by Claudia Keenan (2014). (Note here - trobairitz is a female troubadour, generally refers to those active in the 12th and 13th century)

'Oh nice!' I say to myself, not knowing what ungodly hell I am about to unleash on my eyes. 'I read Meg Bogin's translations but that collection was published in 1980, maybe a more up to date version will have more information surrounding the context than I already know, plus more nuance!'

Ahahahaha

My first inkling that something wasn't entirely right with these 'translations' was when, in her preface, Keenan refers to the trobairitz as teens. First off, we know almost nothing of the women who wrote these poems and songs, to the point that some French dude historian in like the 1890s claimed that the trobairitz were a literary experiment by male troubadours, but I digress.

Secondly, a large number of these women reference their husbands - a fact which is brought up in the next paragraph! Just...no. Why is she referring to them as teens.

The next red flag was when she explains in her preface that she omits the names of those referenced in the songs, and updates the references to something more relevant to modern audiences - so the baronys/duchys referenced in one of Azalais de Portcairague's poems become...CEOs

(We're still on the preface/introduction here, btw)

Then she mentions that she's looked at other translations, including Bogin's, and that indeed Bogin had given her blessing to 'make poetry' or something (I can't fully remember, rage kicked in shortly after) . But I figure hey, let's give this a shot, it's free and could be interesting.

Interesting is one word for it. It's just so bad. Her attempts to update it are just an AWFUL attempts at 'how do you do fellow kidsing' the reader. Lady and Dame become Girlfriend and Girl and in one case, trick. What?????? Friend becomes bro, and amigo and Frère. Alongside the CEOs, this translation of Occitan 12th century love poetry references news anchors, the White House and the freaking UN.

In the same poem.

Translation is hard, I get that. A good translation has to bridge the gap between cultural translation and differences without losing the shades of meaning of the original text, (see: terms of address in Mandarin, for example). This is especially the case with the poetry of the trobairitz, where double entendre is rife. A good translation should also make sense.

This translation does none of the above. In a good few of her 'translations' the stanzas barely make sense:

Like what the fuck is this supposed to mean???

The most egregious verse that I saw (before my laptop died, saving me from going any further was this:

I don't have any words for how bizarre this translation is. (Bear in mind that the 'translator' if I can call her that, is a 62 year old white lady professor at the university of Nevada), and that the poetry and songs that she's translating are songs of the noble women of the courts of the south of France.

The thing that always got me about the poetry of the trobairitz is that the themes used transcend the centuries - the same refrains used by Beatriz de Dia can arguably be found in songs by artists like Taylor Swift and Adele.

'I love you, I acted the way you claim you love women to be, and yet you don't pay me any attention...friend, I don't know if it's arrogance or bad intentions that makes you act this way'.

If she stripped all context from her translations it wouldn't be so bad, but she still uses footnotes to explain somethings, and in other places uses more archaic turns of phrase still...and at one point translates occitan into modern French? Ok?

Pretty sure this is also the same poem as the verse that starts Trick.

So yeah, I spent a good hour sharing screenshots with other people in my living history group. But I just dont get WHY you would translate like this??? It's just bizarre

[kaladndekars]

SELENE KIM ( CIS FEMALE & SHE/HERS )? oh, aren’t they the TWENTY-FIVE (510) year old VAMPIRE who works as a BARTENDER at ELSWOOD’S? word on the streets is that they are INDEPENDENT & ASTUTE, but they can also be CALCULATING & RETICENT. by the way, they look eerily similar to LEE SUNG-KYUNG, don’t they? ( izzie / 21 / pst / she/hers )

FULL NAME: selene kim / kim seol-hee AGE: 25 ( 510 ) PRONOUNS / GENDER: cis female / she/hers SPECIES: vampire HOUSING: she lives in halkirk, because as much as she likes mansions, she lives alone and such a large house like the ones in rosehill would be too empty. she has a nice apartment in one of the wealthier complexes, and it’s very well-furnished ( read: expensive furniture ). FAMILY: she has no surviving family that she knows of because she’s a vampire and lost contact with her mother centuries ago. she’s never been pregnant, either, so she doesn’t have descendants from one of her previous relationships back when she was human. if she has any living relatives, she doesn’t know about them. she’s fine that way. it’s less attachments to worry about. BACKSTORY:

in 1508, kim seol-hee was born in the honam region, inheriting her mother’s beauty and grace. she would later show she had taken after her father’s ruthlessness and ambition, though she would never meet him — he was a nobleman and her mother, his lover and a kisaeng ( an entertainer & courtesan )

because seol-hee’s mother was a kisaeng, she was to become one too. she was educated in various disciplines, including prose, poetry, music, dance, medicine, and needlework. by the age of 18, she had surpassed her mother in skill and popularity, and became renowned for her poetry and singing voice. she went from entertaining in the honam region to the courts seoul because of her talents, and though the training was stricter, it was a better opportunity.

she took several lovers over the years, scholars and former soldiers and government officials, and while men wanted her, none would really have her. not until she met jong-yul, a very rich, very charismatic scholar. they spent a significant amount of time together, and he promised her something better than wealth and prosperity—immortality. seol-hee agreed; ever opportunistic, she knew she wasn’t getting any younger. and then what would she do? retire and run a tavern like her mother? become a concubine like her friend? ( if she wanted that, she would’ve done it already. )

so he turned her into a vampire, and that was that. in an ideal situation, they would’ve traveled together, but life wasn’t a dream and he wasn’t her savior—nor did she need one. he said he’d meet her again someday, and so they parted ways. three years later, she faked her death, left kim seol-hee to only be remembered by her poems and talents, and resurfaced in another city under a new name.

she did this for several decades, doing what she did best: entertaining and seducing, though with the added occupations of political informant and occasional murderess. with her clientele, ~important~ people she socialized with, and her tendency to frequent guest houses and taverns, she had a wealth of information at her fingertips that was all too easy to collect. as for the killings—it was also too easy to bleed choice victims dry ( ie, japanese generals during the japanese invasions of 1592 - 1598 ).

at the turn of the 17th century, she traveled to china with a dignitary; it was time to leave korea for somewhere new. she grew tired of the chinese official, and traveled through china, sometimes as the lover of a nobleman or scholar. some years later, she met jong-yul again, and they began to travel together. there’s something to be said about having a constant in a world where everyone around you grows old, and jong-yul would become that for her.

they set their sights on europe, and hitched a ride on the ship of portuguese merchants. she befriended an astronomer, who taught her portuguese. she would go on collecting several languages over the centuries to come, including mandarin and cantonese chinese, english, spanish, french, german, japanese, and italian. she has since smoothed the accent from her voice.

at this point, she’d amassed more than a fair amount of wealth from her conquests. she and jong-yul spent their travels pretending to be visiting nobles or whatever they needed to be; they took and shared lovers; she immersed herself in the art movements of the years, becoming a singer, a dancer, a writer, a muse; she did whatever she wanted because she could. she continued to trade information for favors and money. she took different names with different cities. she slipped into new roles as easily as slipping into a new dress.

in the middle of the 19th century, jong-yul disappeared. of course, she was angry and despondent, but still, she carried on. perhaps they would meet again, like he promised ( or perhaps he was dead. there were vampire hunters out there, no? ) she went from milan to paris just as the belle epoque began, where she was once again a performer and courtesan. it was what she loved, after all.

during wwii, she was a spy for the allies because of her intelligence, fluency in several languages, and inability to die ( though as if any humans knew this ). she traveled across europe, collecting intel through her own methods as well as her many connections. for a centuries-old vampire, it was a quick, though devastating, four years, watching the world pass through cruel hands yet again. she was glad when korea is liberated from the japanese, though the aftermath still broke her heart when her country was torn in two.

she continued moving around the world, changing names as easily as she changes clothes, settling in california for a few years before moving back to france, then to portugal, germany, singapore, then in south korea. she went back and forth to avoid suspicion that she looked the same after ten or so years ( she’s just effortlessly youthful, you know ). her occupations range from translator to dancer to informant to socialite to anything she wishes. she has a lot of time and money on hand to develop skills, after all.

somehow, she ends up in fairview. it’s full of small town charm and perhaps something more interesting, and it makes a good place to lie low for a while. she’s not part of the elswood coven, she just kinda works at the bar because she needs something to do.

PERSONALITY:

she’s vivacious, independent, and charming, chasing after thrill and indulgence, but also selfish, vain, and calculating. generally an outgoing & lovely woman until you cross her, and is particularly ruthless when it comes to getting what she wants. knows a lot of secrets about a lot of people. tries her best not to raise suspicion, and lives life as a seemingly normal, but very rich and rather flippant human. gets her blood through various…connections, whether that’s a hospital or somewhere else. the red wine in her glass is most definitely not a nice merlot.

flirty as hell, but also knows not to get attached since, y’know, immortality and her partner disappeared without a word decades ago so she’s still kind of bitter about that!! enjoys attention and companionship, basically. here for a good time and a long time. she also likes ~the art of conversation~ and learning about people. definitely into a good story, though it takes a lot to fully get her attention since she’s not easily impressed.

she has seen a lot. been through a lot. lived through a lot of history, so has zero time for bullshit. she’s also terribly, terribly bored, always looking for something new and interesting to take up her time. immortality can truly drag on.

MISC.

Does your character have any nicknames? not really tbh. she’s not one for nicknames. she has a lot of names though from over the years (-:

Does your character have any distinguishing features such as tattoos, scars, piercings, etc? she has two piercings on both her earlobes. no tattoos.

What is your character like in relationships? Are they clingy? Faithful or unfaithful? Do they jump from one relationship to the other? Do they even have an interest in something romantic? faithful in the sense she’ll end the relationship once she’s bored rather than hang on and cheat behind their back ( though she’s certainly been unfaithful in the past ). she’s much fonder of arrangements that have no strings attached, so she can be with who she likes, when she likes. it doesn’t matter if a relationship lasted ten years or two months—once she’s grown tired of it, she’ll end it and move onto the next one. or be single for a while. it depends. romance does interest her to an extent, but she hasn’t been as in love as she was with jong-yul in a very long time. it’d take a very special being for her to give so much of herself to someone else again.

What kind of things does your character like? What do they dislike? she enjoys the finer things in life, like art, beautiful clothing, and jewelry. she has penchants for designer labels and vintage clothing, as well as obscure art spanning centuries. she loves traveling and exploring new cities; she likes architecture, languages, gambling, and reading; she still loves dancing and singing. she also likes technology for how innovative it is. she dislikes boredom, staying in one place for too long, and people getting too close to her. she hates nosy people, but she wouldn’t ever let someone know that.

How does your character treat their friends and family? How about strangers? Enemies?  treats her friends very well. will give them gifts, will help them in their times of need, would kill for them. literally. she’s a very good friend ( and ally ) to have. she’s friendly and seemingly open to strangers, and is generally a vibrant, outgoing woman. you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, after all. as for enemies, she’s rather ruthless when dealing with them. if you’re on her bad side, you’ll know. also pretty fond of snide comments.

Where does your character go when they are angry? it’s a mystery

What is your character’s biggest fear? Who have they told this to? Who would they never tell this to? Why? she’s not really scared of much at this point. being killed would really suck, but she’s lived so long that death doesn’t particularly scare her either. fearlessness isn’t necessarily always a good thing, though.

Does your character have a secret? If so, what is it? what secrets doesn’t she have? one, her real name is kim seol-hee. she has spied for governments, spied for criminals. she has blackmailed numerous people and sold secrets and information to the highest bidder without regard for the consequences of the parties involved. she has killed not only to feed, but for money, for revenge, and she is not sorry for some of it. her wealth is certainly not built on virtue and taking the high road, and, well, she’s a vampire. depending on who she’s talking to, that might be the biggest secret of all.

Has your character ever been in love? Have they ever had a broken heart? she was in love with the vampire who turned her, as they spent numerous years together and formed an unbreakable bond—until he disappeared and broke her heart. she got over it. mostly. sometimes she gets angry at him for disappearing, and other times she grows despondent, afraid that he was killed by a hunter.

Does your character have any flaws? What are they? she’s self-serving, vain, selfish, ruthless, fickle. she’s a liar, and won’t hesitate to deceive someone to save herself. she’s not the most trustworthy, either, and her loyalty can sometimes only last so long. she’s awfully cynical, though she doesn’t show it.

What is one strong memory that has stuck with your character from childhood? Why is it so powerful and lasting? 500 years has blurred memories, but sometimes, she’ll remember singing with her mother as a little girl. everyone starts somewhere, and despite their circumstances, her mother truly loved her and tried to give her the best she could.

WANTED CONNECTIONS / PLOTS:

vampire friends/allies — as much as she keeps others at a certain length, it’d actually be nice to have friends who won’t die in a few decades. these could be vampires she’s known for a very, very long time, those she’s just recently struck up a friendship with, a new vampire she’s mentoring because sometimes she does nice things, etc. these could also be varying degrees of trust—maybe they’re proven loyal till the end, or they’re just around each other because it’s fun. or they relate to each on some vampiric level.

acquaintances / friends — she’s not trying to make her life difficult, so she’s a pretty friendly person until you piss her off. so these would be people she gets along with for whatever reason. also, human friends who think she’s human and she’s not doing a thing to correct them would be fun!!

interests — she thinks you’re interesting/amusing and hangs around you for that reason.

enemies — you got on her bad side for some reason, or she got on yours. or you just hate each other. also here for love/hate relationships with all that tension and ‘i hate you but i can’t stay away from you and arguing with you is really fun and also you’re kind of hot???’

other supernatural being shenanigans

she hasn’t been in town as long as some other people ( i haven’t really figured it out yet, but she’s only been around for a few years, or maybe it’s one of those things where she pops in every couple decades ), and you don’t trust her. you think she’s hiding something and you aim to find out what’s behind the charming facade, and you’re sure all she’s feeding you are lies ( which is true ).

you’re at elswood’s and she’s bartending that night and now you’re drunkenly spilling all her problems to her. and you’d think all this years she’d get good at comforting people, but she’s not. she’s just good at faking it!

anything else!!! pls come to me w any ideas!!!

[hellepoque]

“Antarctica,” draft one, from Hell Époque and Other Poems

[hellepoque]

Chute Society: 31 Dec 2020

A lonely kerosene port, devoid of the Slim Aarons-type Stepfords and their lords

who carouse like social warts and champagne-pop across the city’s open bars. They’ve stayed in tonight,

feet propped atop boxed wine and Tylenol at the ready, strung on a chain between their tarnished pearls,

a pharmacological candy jewelry. We stand together at the rail and conspire upon

how we were never like them, not even before, knowing full well how phony,

to borrow the phrase, how insensate our ears full of cloth.

There was a party last January, a slimy, welcome-to-the-semester soirée, where he drank one stout bottle

of champagne, “passion fruit-raspberry,” and stumbled down the dorm’s garbage chute.

Feet-first, like a boy at his first sleepaway who couldn’t handle the power

of a loose leash and sugar rush that more or less had its way. His bones, unfortunately,

remained intact, all of them the long way down, and he popped up with a hoot,

stepped over a Glad bag of Greek yogurt and plagiarized essays and asked someone to pass him another flute.

Me, I wasn’t so embarrassing. I merely raided the hostess’ closet, her crocodile bags and poodle skirts,

and paraded up and down the streets with my newfangled menagerie. This year, though,

we’re spared the fun, spared the run-wild and the rum and the crowds. Spared the life and the limes

and the lawsuits and the last rites. We don’t know anyone here, not in this port town

that looks a lot like home. But that’s for the better. The world already has enough clowns.

—“Chute Society,” draft one, from Hell Époque and Other Poems

[hellepoque]

Mini Golf Grasshopper: 12 Jan 2021

Summer is an open bar of virgin strawberry daiquiris that have solidified as sludge at the bottom of my pink flamingo mason jar. We laze on the stubbly mini golf turf, my companion and I, as food for the mosquitos that vogue in and out of the sprinklers’ pitters, serfs of the sun, mopping up its carcinogens, as restlessness gnaws at our marrow, the clock chicanes, and we dream of idleness’ end, a time less clement. “Heat and humidity are languor,” my companion says, and I, “Languor is lifelessness with many a-preamble,” and we smile with mutual suffering, diamond watches glittering, weeping alongside the grooves in the playlist he compiled: “Songs We Heard in Car Commercials and Reviled.” How to sit still, play peachy Princess of Patience, when the blood of unfought fights, victory and defeat all, rests, untasted, on the tongue, when to run rolled-tongue rowdily is barred from this summer schoolyard of catatonia? When time is to be taken, yet, for once, we don’t want to, when, if we think the days are long, just take a look at this shrew of a lifetime? “It’s maddening,” I moan, “to be patience’s pauper.” “And yet,” the sun says, “you need but patience, grasshopper.”

—“Mini Golf Grasshopper,” draft one, from Hell Époque and Other Poems

[hellepoque]

January Spring: 6 Jan 2021

January spring: a doily, white and florid; five-dollar strawberries that sting the tongue tart and horrid; walking to the mailbox in the rain and flip flops, then breaking the ankle on the jog back and being told not to stir for one month post-op; the portable heater on the bedside table and open window behind the head; the care packages that come from childhood friends, chock-full of memorabilia of colleges I don’t attend; the productivity of being dead alone; a productive alone that morphs into loneliness; loneliness that stokes the fire, eats its own ashes, and births a creative mess; a mess that embroiders tear-wrought tableaus, chews aspirin and candy apples, and really, no-kid verity, just needs to rest.

—“January Spring,” draft one, from Hell Époque and Other Poems

[hellepoque]

Sylvie: 29 Dec 2020

The fig tree shudders, it putters and it dances my own arboreal ballet.

It’s papery music clings to the pane, a phantom friend I cannot with my wan hands and haggish hair scare away.

Its trunk is amputated by my reclined view. This bed is of the finest hide.

Sheets of infinite thread counts, woven from the little mistruth “Go to sleep, silky. You’ll wake up in due time.”

The pillow is therapeutic. It molds to the shape of my skull, its variorum of magic and maladies,

conveying me over the rainbow Lethe. “Thirty minutes and you’ll feel like a rose,” they swear, but it’s all exaggerational fallacy.

Me and my Degas-type fig dancer, my one constant companion, know I’ll never again feel like a simplex of a simile,

never again “like a rose.” “A chronic case,” figgy’s brittle bones chitter, “autoimmune idiot,” and I seethe, “Yeah, yeah. Spare me your tears, spare me your homily.”

—“Sylvie,” draft one, from Hell Époque and Other Poems

[hellepoque]

—“Friday Funk,” draft one, from Hell Époque and Other Poems

[hellepoque]

Land of Enchantment: 14 Jan 2021

Sonic booms going off in a blaze of glory over the sun-chipped road paint of Route 66.

A dry heat that’s peerless, more blusterous than a sorcerer’s hex.

Pool parties on Valentine’s and hot air balloon vows,

then, on the drive back home, the smell of roadkill and fecund cows.

Spilled strawberry-milk sunrises and sets to grace the sleepyhead’s iris,

and flush golf courses, ceaseless droughts, because no school here has the personnel to teach Odysseus’ hubris.

—“Land of Enchantment,” draft one, from Hell Époque and Other Poems

[hellepoque]

Anteluca Islet, Part 3: 10 Jan 2021

Two hours, he rows, arms a-quiver and legs a-cramp. We’ve run The Dulcinea’s haul wild with music and a brass peacock table lamp, unable to give up the ghost and accept that the closest thing we’re getting to electricity is a feral guava tree and peridot-colored penny. Salty sapphire laps at the boat and wrinkles the pages of his manuscript. Change of scenery, I tell myself, prowling for a place nondescript to rediscover his muse, that intangible tickle of wind, or ephemera-shaped cloud, or starburst in a bottle of booze. Can’t get anything done, I reason, indoors. But the thirst in his eye as he pushes us across the sea, the citrine sweat he licks from his lip, is enthusiasm not for adventure, but escape—— My companion lands in my lap. I hit the lid of my Victrola. The Dulcinea is pulled atop a sunburnt shore.

—“Anteluca Islet, Part III,” draft one, from Hell Époque and Other Poems

[hellepoque]

A.M. Anguish January 9, 2021

A bioluminescently blue sky, rife with procreating crickets and hooting owls, stretches, like a giant jellyfish bell, over the valley.

It’s a sad sky, full of wist, little whimsy, many sighs, and north-north-west wind howls. Bucolic turned melancholic, a lamenting bombshell, chock-full of crime, an intestinal alley.

—“A.M. Anguish,” draft one, from Hell Époque and Other Poems

[hellepoque]

Bitter Lemon January 7, 2021

The morning is a bad pet. It’s pissed on the Earth bed. The grass burns two half moon crescents onto the backside of my pants. It sits at the door to scratch, brokering to get inside and turn my mood sour, so I go outside and sit under the lemon tree to which we flock to make our own limoncello, sunnies on, though sunnier in the smile to spite the sky by the hour.

—“Bitter Lemon,” draft one, from Hell Époque and Other Poems

[hellepoque]

“Sylvie,” draft one, from Hell Époque and Other Poems

[hellepoque]

Sunrise Santander: 16 Jan 2021

The apartment is on Holborn, seven minutes by foot from the water. Across the way is a boarded up Taco Bell and a rack of bikes sponsored by Santander. Morning warrants a cashmere scarf and Columbia University quarter-zip. I air the tyre, disinfect and adjust the seat, and pedal down Kingsway towards the brackish brew, the Thames, an ill-advised skinny dip. One an hour of exercise a day, Westminster orated last night, just in time for the weekend. I cycle until acid saturates my calves and sail past the Strand, the flashing lights of the Tina Turner musical on the West End. Across Waterloo Bridge, Southbank Theater where I listened to Tchaikovsky in the fall. Piano Concerto, his first, in B flat. The orchestra, of course, was great, but the piano, aneurysmal. Past Tate Modern, towards the Globe where I indulged a winter Shakespeare kick but a month before everything was shot to hell: Henry V, Richard III, then All’s Well that Ends Well. The waterside promenade towards the HMS Belfast. Wind here is the sharpest, a cheesecloth tight over my face. I pedal, I chase, wring my legs out on this machine. Tower of London across, Tower Bridge in the fore. Little towers everywhere, falling down, down, down, taking me back to the way things were before.

—“Sunrise Santander,” draft one, from Hell Époque and Other Poems