#hell I barely know anything about Mason

[janeyseymour]

You Matter To Me- pt 2

part 1

Summary: You fall into a routine with Melissa as your impending divorce takes over your life.

WC: ~2.6k

Melissa holds onto you, without an ounce of selfishness as you tell her the horrors of your life. She wraps you up in her arms and holds on tight. She doesn’t pull away, she doesn’t look at your face, and she doesn’t try to kiss you. All she does is stay there as long as you’ll let her, just like she promised.

For once in your life, the things that you’re saying… you feel like they matter to the redhead.

On the outside, your coworker is calm and collected. But on the inside? She’s absolutely seething. Melissa feels a fire starting in her heart. How dare someone treat anyone, but specifically you- sweet and lovely you- in such horrid ways? And it’s not even like this is something that has been going on for a short amount of time… God dealt you a horrible hand, and you’ve been putting up with abuse in every which way for the entirety of your life.

Your father is lucky he’s dead and gone now, but Mason? If the redhead can help it, he will never walk a free man’s breath again. She’s not quite sure how she could manage that, so she internally settles for getting you the hell out of this house, helping you divorce him, and then ensuring that you never have to put up with anything of the sorts again in regard to him or any other person who might try to use you for the goodness of your heart and body. She’ll meet with every guy she has a connection with in this city and make more ziti than she ever thought possible if it means that you finally will be able to walk free of hurt in this world.

“I just don’t know what to do,” you whisper as your tears begin to fade. “I don’t know. Like, I know I have to leave him, but the logistics of it all-”

“Don’t worry about all that,” Melissa tells you. “I’ll handle it.”

“What do you mean you’ll handle it?”

“Don’t worry about it,” the gruff woman tells you.

You look at the woman sitting with you. She looks enraged. And you know the connections that she has. “Mel, you- you can’t kill him.”

“I never said I would,” the redhead states.

“Nobody can,” you whisper. “I- As much as he’s awful, I- I wouldn’t wish death on him.”

As much as she wants to protest that she doesn’t care, that he deserves it, she nods her head. She feels the same way about some of her former boyfriends- absolute shitheads, but she wouldn’t wish death upon them. “I’ll still be here, right by your side, to help you through it all.”

“I- I don’t have enough saved,” you groan. “I can pretty much pay for a divorce lawyer, and then I’m going to have to move back-”

“I know a guy who can help you with the divorce, I know another guy who will help you with a restraining order, and you can use all of the money in your savings for a new house or apartment.”

You shrug. “I still don’t know if I can afford it… living in Philly is expensive.”

“So you’re going to go back home and repeat the cycle of abuse?” Melissa challenges. “Like hell you are. I told you I’m here for you, so if you can’t afford a place on your own, you can move in with me.”

Your eyes widen slightly. “I- I can’t put myself on you like that.”

“You ain’t. I’m offering. Think about it. You get your case worked pro-bono, and my house is all paid off, so I’m just paying for utilities and all that. By moving in with me, you’re actually doing me a favor. Eat my food, since I only know how to cook for twelve and constantly have leftovers, and we can split utilities with me until you can get back on your feet. You’re saving way more than you would if you moved back home, and I’ll know you’re safe if you’re with me.”

You search her eyes for any hint of ingenuity or hint that she’s only doing this for show, but you can tell that she genuinely wants what is best for you. She’s here for you, and she’s offering all of these services because she truly cares about you in such a selfless way.

You just barely nods, and she smiles softly. “Just know that you’re on the hook to help me make all the food we’re gonna have to give out.”

By some Grace of God, you’re able to obtain a divorce lawyer in the short time that your husband is away. You’ve also managed to start the filings of a restraining order against Mason while he’s out of town. And, with the help of a few caring teachers and some of the redhead’s stronger cousins, your things have been moved out of your house and into Melissa’s.

When your husband gets back from his work trip, all that remains of yours in that house is the now dull and dingy rings he had given you on top of a pile of divorce papers and a pile of the restraining order papers. He immediately dials your number.

You’re sitting on Melissa’s couch, trying to settle in as much as you can, when your phone starts ringing loudly.

The redhead is sitting in her recliner and glances down at your phone. She glances to you, and when you lean forward to pick up the device with shaking hands, she snatches it. You instinctively flinch at her aggressive motion.

“You are not answering that,” Melissa tells you. “There is no fucking way I’m letting you answer that phone call and go back. It isn’t happening.”

“Melissa,” you sigh softly.

“No. If you answer that phone call, he is going to know where you are, and he is going to kill you,” your new roommate states. 

“If I don’t answer, it’s putting you in-”

“If he so much as tries to show up here, he’s fucked,” Melissa tells you confidently. “But if you leave here now, you are not going to make it out of this situation alive.”

Before you can think to say anything else, your phone stops ringing. It begins again. Immediately, your coworker turns off your cellular device.

Leaving Mason is a messy ordeal. You knew it was going to be the second that you decided you had to get out of the life you’ve been trapped in for far too long. There are many protective measures put into place to keep you from your soon-to-be ex-husband. You also knew that falling into a new routine and lifestyle would be a long experience. What you weren’t expecting was to have such a hard time transitioning to this new life. Melissa does everything she can for you to become comfortable, but being comfortable is a lot easier said than done.

The woman drives the both of you to work, and she insists that your car stay in her enclosed garage while everything is still swirling in terms of your divorce and restraining order. Not having control of the car that you’re in is something that you’re used to, but putting your life in your coworker’s (sometimes rage filled) hands is scary. When she yells and curses at the idiots around you for their driving, you shrink in your seat. She sees it immediately.

“I’m sorry, hun,” the redhead’s voice turns as smooth as honey. “I’ll try to keep it to myself.”

And when she jerks the car because she has to slam on her brakes for a myriad of reasons, you can’t help but flinch when her arm protectively comes flying towards you to keep you and your healing body from crashing into the dashboard. Of course, she apologizes when she sees how terrified you truly are.

You give her a small shrug and a shy smile. “You’re not doing anything wrong. You don’t have to apologize.”

Slowly, you become more comfortable with her actions and words in the car. They’re never directed in a harmful way towards you. If anything, she’s yelling and cursing at these idiots for putting you in danger. You find it endearing that she doesn’t care that these people are reckless for her sake, but for yours. 

Being in the house is… it’s warm in a way you weren’t quite expecting. You knew the woman was Italian, and her people tend to be a bit rough around the edges but would go to bat for those they love. You find yourself in shock that you are part of that group for Melissa- although you aren’t sure why you would be surprised; she so graciously allowed you to move in with her in order to keep you out of another shitty situation.

When you moved in with her, you promised your new roommate that you would help chip in on expenses when it came to rent.

“I already told ya, it’s taken care of.”

“Then I’ll pitch in more than half for utilities and groceries.”

“Like hell you will.”

For as loud as she tends to be at school, walking around in her heeled boots that clink against the tile, she treks through the house nearly silently in her slippers or sock clad feet. And in the beginning of you living with the redhead, she catches you off guard quite often. She hates that she forgets how skittish you still are.

You’re sitting at the dining room table trying to grade papers while you assume she’s in the living room watching her television show, but then you hear a voice behind you and an arm on your shoulder.

Without thinking, you jump nearly three feet in the air and whip around with eyes blown wide to see who is trying to get to you.

“Shit,” Melissa groans to herself. She looks at you regretfully. “Hun, I’m sorry. I thought you heard me.”

You’re still trying to catch your breath, a hand over your heart. It’s beating out of your chest.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.” The redhead clearly feels awful. You break out of your trance just enough to let your colleague know that she has nothing to be sorry for. “No. I didn’t mean to scare the shit outta you.”

“I just didn’t hear you comin’,” you try to laugh, but it comes out as awkward and stilted, your voice wavering just slightly. “Used to knowing you’re coming with your heels at school.”

It doesn’t go unnoticed by you that now whenever Melissa makes her way through the house, you can hear her because she saunters through her house with a different pair of slippers on- moccasins, that alert you of her being.

You’re able to get your restraining order request fulfilled with some help from one of Melissa’s connections, but the divorce is still pending. Your divorce lawyer ends up being one of the best in the city because of the redhead you live with now. Despite him having the street credit that he does, your case is still being dragged out. You knew it would take forever. There was no way that your husband would agree to any of the terms that you had previously settled on, only prolonging everything further. It also doesn’t help the timing having to go through lawyers and representatives because you feel unsafe being in the same room as him (despite the fact that there are multiple bodies in the room to ensure your safety).

But any legal meetings that you have to be present at, Melissa is right by your side- just as she promised. She believes everything that you shakily tell your lawyer. The things that you tell this man are taken seriously, and it only helps to build a better case for you.

When you leave, the redhead is always there to hold your hand on the car ride home and promise you that you’re making the right decision. Melissa stays by your side for as long as you need her, for as long as you’ll let her. She promises to you that you matter, and you’re one step closer to being a free woman, no longer tied to that horrid man.

She holds you for longer than twenty minutes on those days- letting you feel anything that you need to. She doesn’t ever pull away first. She doesn’t even look at your face. And as much as she wants to kiss you, she doesn’t. All she does is wraps you up in her arms, and she holds on as tightly or as loosely as you need that specific day. She does it all for you, without any sense of selfishness. Melissa would admit that holding you feels nice and natural, but she shakes her head softly at the mere thought of holding you with any intention other than to provide you with the comfort that you need in that very moment.

Once you’ve gotten past the transition of living with Melissa Schemmenti, it’s quite nice. The routines that you fall into never fail you. The two of you spend most of your time together, her claiming that she’s just doing her duty to keep you out of harm’s way, but there’s a small part you that thinks maybe she genuinely just does enjoy spending time with you. You get ready for work together, have breakfast together, go to staff meetings together, have lunch with the group together (although you’ve found that you’ve been invited to hers and Barb’s sacred table), and then when work is over, you make dinner and enjoy it together before retiring to the couch for an evening of relaxation. Chores and grocery shopping is usually done together, and it’s warm. You’ve found something of a domestic life partner in Melissa- you aren’t quite sure if you’ll ever be ready to enter another relationship, as much as you have come to terms with the fact that you may have feelings for your coworker turned roommate.

After far too long, your divorce is finalized, and you couldn’t be more thrilled. The feeling of freedom is so overwhelming that you can’t help the burst of emotion you end up showing. That night, Melissa is nothing but warm and sweet- telling you that you’re on your way to healing. She holds you just like she has been, and the amount of takeout food that you consume rivals tailgate parties for the Eagles.

Now that you’re free from Mason, your restraining order is finalized, and you’ve actually caught wind that he’s moved out of the city and a few towns over though, the reality that you technically don’t need Melissa’s protective streak anymore. Now that you’re out of your previous situation, you come to the realization that your neighbor will probably begin to pull back because she has no obligation to keep you under her wing anymore. 

And that… that breaks you in the oddest way. You’re free from the fear that you’ve been living in, and you have more than enough savings to move out.

Not that you would know it, but Melissa is also having feelings about this. What if you don’t want her around anymore, or you want to move out now that you have a plentiful of wealth due to not having to pay for rent.

Neither of you speak of it the night that everything is finalized. Instead, you revel in the success and allow yourself to feel comfortable- as if come tomorrow everything will change. 

Tags

 (and let me know if you want to be included!): @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @a-queen-and-her-throne @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld @cosmichymns @sasheemo @m1lflov3rrr @ricejucie @temilyrights

[carlottawllms]

Author's note: Welcome back! It's crazy, but it's been one week already since I posted chapter I. Let me just say that there's plenty more to come. Enjoy

As always, feedback is very much appreciated. And now, enjoy! 🩷

After two weeks, everything was still a little messy and chaotic, but that was to be expected. Ellie was fine though, she started to settle properly and although she still preferred to be close to either Mason or you, her initial clinginess had died down a little as well. She was back to being that happy girl you knew.

The first week of taking care of Mason’s little daughter by yourself was nearly over and whilst you’d been a bit worried about how Ellie might take it all, everything had been going great.

Ellie had been more than well-behaved, a little sunshine really. Obviously, she was a little sad every time her daddy had to leave in the morning, but as the days had passed and Mason had come back every afternoon, the little one was more relaxed now and she seemed to enjoy the time she got to spend with you.

And today would be the little one’s first time in the stadium. You actually hadn’t known it would be her first game until Mason had told you this morning, that Mae had never really bothered to come and see him play, claiming that she just didn’t enjoy watching them play, so she’d barely been to Old Trafford and then when Ellie came along, it would’ve been – in Mae’s words – too much of a faff.

When you’d told Mason you’d come to cheer him on with Ellie, his eyes had lit up and the bright smile on his face had told you everything about what it meant to him.

“C’mon Ellie, we’ve got to leave now or we’ll be late.”, you called, the kids home shirt with daddy and number 7 printed in bold letters on the back, in your hands and it wasn’t long before the little girl came bouncing down the hallway, an excited smile on her face.

“Daddyyyy!”

“Yeah, we’re going to see daddy.”, you smiled as she all but crashed into your arms. “Want to put your shirt on?”

“Yessss!”

About 40 minutes later, you were embraced in a bearhug by none other than Jaz. “Oh, I missed you, y/n.”

With you by his side him as mental support, Mason had called his parents on the day all hell had broken lose and given them a brief rundown of what had happened. Debbie had immediately offered to come to Manchester, but after he’d been able to reassure her that he wanted to try it with your help first, she’d agreed.

Jaz however had insisted on coming up this weekend. Mason had just rolled his eyes at her, but you knew that she only meant well and just wanted to make sure that her little brother and his daughter were okay and taken care of.

“I missed you too.”, you hummed, before crouching down to the little girl by her side. “And you, too, Sums. You’re all grown up already, wow.”

Summer grinned brightly after kissing your cheek. Mason's niece definitely came second in the ranking of the cutest children, just behind Ellie.

“You girls wanna walk together?”, you asked setting Ellie down. She looked a little hesitant with all the people around, but when you tightly grabbed her small hand in yours and smiled down at her, she nodded.

Jaz had grabbed one of Summer’s hands herself, whilst the two girls in their Mount shirts walked in between the two of you, swinging their intertwined hands as they were talking amongst themselves, and it wasn’t long until you were inside the family lounge.

Ellie had warmed up to the situation and was more than comfortable running around with Summer and playing with the other kids, but you still kept a close eye on her.

“I’d never expected anything like this to happen.”, Jaz sighed suddenly. “I’d always put her down as a responsible person, you know? It’s just…you are friends with her right? Did she erm…say anything?”

“No, I…Mae and I haven’t been friends anymore since their break-up, to be honest. I don’t know what he told you about why he ended things, but it was basically the same reason I ended my friendship with her.”

Mason had never told you whether or not his family knew that Mae had cheated on him three weeks before he’d broken up with her. He hadn’t been supposed to be home that early but a power cut at Carrington had forced them to end the session a little earlier and he’d actually been happy about it, thinking he could go home and warm himself up with a little family cuddle after kicking a ball around in the cold for too long, but when he’d arrived Mae was busy warming herself up with a guy Mason had never seen before.

They’d been going at it in the living room, moaning and screaming as if they’d been alone although their little girl Ellie had been upstairs, crying for her mum.

It had broken Mason’s heart and he’d been furious, but for Ellie’s sake, he’d been willing to try and forgive Mae. You knew he’d tried; he’d really tried and he’d wanted to make it work, but then one evening, he’d knocked at your door, eyes filled with tears and he’d confessed that every time he looked at Mae, he saw the way she’d been moaning for that other guy.

“Oh, I…I didn’t know that. I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s alright. It was one of those situations where you just have to choose and well…there was only ever one answer to the question Mason or Mae.”, you smiled, watching Jaz’ expression soften and a smile taking over her features. “He’s my best friend, Jaz and I would’ve never encouraged him to go on a date with her if I hadn’t thought it would work out. When they told me they were expecting little Ellie, I was over the moon for them. They’d talked about getting married and…god I was so sad for him.”

Jaz nodded. “It sounds silly, but for Mase it’s not easy to find someone who’s serious about him. And now with a kid it’s even more difficult.”, she mumbled, running her hand through her hair.

She really looked worried, and you’d love to reassure her, but there wasn’t much you could say. Mason hadn’t been looking for anybody before and now with Ellie living with him, he certainly wouldn’t be any time soon either.

You knew him. He was all focused on his career whilst enjoying his single life every now and then, whilst a serious relationship hadn’t crossed his mind for a while. And you couldn’t blame him for that. After having been cheated on a year ago, you hadn’t expected him to dive head first into something new and whilst you had never been necessarily thrilled about the girls he’d taken home, you’d understood and never interfered. Unless he’d called you and begged you to scare one off when she hadn’t gotten the message.

“I know, it’s never really easy, but the right one for him will come. And it won’t matter to her that he has a kid cause if she’s the right one she will love Ellie as if she was her own, you know?”

Jaz chuckled and nodded, thinking about how you’d basically just perfectly described yourself, but she kept her mouth shut. She’d always thought that you and her brother would be perfect for each other, but as it wasn’t any of her business she’d never said anything.

“On another note, y/n, thank you so much for stepping up and being there for him and Ellie. In times like this it’s even worse for us that he’s so far away and we can’t just come by and help, but knowing you’re here makes it a lot easier. We all appreciate it so much; you have no idea.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Like I said he’s my best friend and I love Ellie, of course I offer my help, Jaz.”, you smiled, when small hands patting your leg interrupted your conversation. “Hello there, my little munchkin.”, you cooed, lifting little Ellie into your lap. She immediately snuggled into your chest and grabbed your hand to play with your fingers.

The two of you kept talking for a little longer, but it wasn’t long until you were eventually outside and looking all over the pitch.

The game itself went pretty well. United won comfortably and the goal Mason had scored had made the four of you cheer loudly in the box. Ellie had been jumping up and down on your legs, repeating the words daddy and goal over and over again until you’d eventually got her settled in your lap again.

“Daddy will be here any second now.”, you reassured Ellie who was getting a little antsy in your hold. You could tell that she started to miss him properly as she hadn’t seen him since yesterday evening. “And then he’s all yours. You’ll get aaaaall the cuddles in the world, and kisses and hugs and maybe if you ask nicely, he’ll get you some ice cream too.”

You tickled her side with your free hand, trying to cheer her up a little as you didn’t want Mason to worry about her and thankfully, he showed up rather quickly. He’d trapped his washbag under his arm, but once he’d reached you, it was quickly abandoned on the table next to you before he took Ellie from you.

“Daddy!”

“Hi baby.” A bright smile took over his face, dimples carving into his cheeks as he nuzzled his nose against his daughter’s. The little girl giggled and tried to hide in her dad’s neck, but he simply followed her, targeting her little button nose for a little longer before smooching her cheek and letting her lean her head against his shoulder. 

“Hello to you too.” Your heart warmed when Mason directed his pretty smile at yours. With his free arm wrapping around your waist, he pulled you into him for a hug.

“Hi Mase. Congrats on your goal, I’m proud of you.”, you smiled, squeezing him a little before you left a kiss on his stubbly cheek. Mason, who wasn’t good at accepting compliments, blushed at your words. “C’mon go say hi to the other two. Summer is dying to see her favourite uncle, and we all want to leave rather soon. I promised them I’d cook for us before heading home so you can unpack and spend some time with Jaz and the tiny devils.”

When you pulled away from him, to push him towards Jaz and Summer, who had her eyes already set on your best friend, Mason gently grabbed you by your elbow, his brown eyes locking on yours. “You sure you don’t mind? You’ve spent all week at mine and haven’t had time for yourself, y/n.”

“Stop worrying, Mase.”, you smiled softly. “I’m a big girl, I know what I’m doing. I have tomorrow all to myself in case you remember.”, you laughed, squeezing his hand reassuringly and although Mason didn’t look convinced, he let you push him towards his sister and niece.

-

An hour later, you were all back at Mason’s. Jaz had occupied the living room, playing with Summer and Ellie, whilst your best friend was upstairs, sorting his stuff in his bedroom. After coming back, you’d quickly changed into sweatpants and a matching hoodie and were now working away in the kitchen.

On the way home you’d decided on making spag bol. Not only, because it was a quick and easy meal but also because the kids loved it as much as Mason did. You were about to finish the sauce, when the latter trailed into the kitchen.

“Have you seen Ellie’s pink bottle by chance?”, he asked and as he brushed past you, his hand softly caressed the small of your back. “She’s refusing to use any other.”

“Yeah, it’s up there, I think.”, you nodded towards one of the upper cabinets. “I cleaned it this morning. I think she- Mase!”

A shocked gasp left your mouth as in the moment Mason reached up to grab the bottle, his shirt lifted and revealed a rather large bruise forming on his lower back. Without thinking, you stepped closer to him and pulled the fabric up even further.

“What happened? Are you okay?” You voice was laced with worry as you carefully inspected his bruised skin with the very tips of your fingers, trying not to hurt him.

“It’s from training.”, he shrugged, trying to play it off although it did hurt like a little bitch. “Fell awkwardly on Rasmus’ leg. It’s nothing though, they checked it.”

“It doesn’t look like nothing.”, you sighed, knowing it probably wasn’t too bad, but you hated when Mason was hurt and you couldn’t do much to help him. “I think I have this gel in my bag, you know, the one they gave me when I injured my shoulder. Let me get that real quick.”

With a pat to his shoulder, you dashed out of the kitchen.

Shaking his head with a fond smile on his lips, Mason chuckled quietly. There was no need for you to go all doctor on him as the medical department at Carrington had stocked him up on gels and whatever would help with the healing process, but he would never tell you that. He liked your caring side way too much for that and whilst he’d never admit it, he also wanted to feel your soft hands on his skin again.

With rosy cheeks, he was startled out of his thoughts when you came back into the kitchen. “Got it. Bend over for me, will you?”

“In my head it’s always been me saying that to you, but I don’t mind reversed roles every once in a while.”, he laughed. Partly to tease you, but mainly to get his head back straight.

“Mason.”, you laughed as you pinched his side in feigned outrage. You knew he was just joking, but your face still turned a deep shade of red.

“Can you blame me? You provided me with the opportunity, don’t blame me for- Ouch! Stop pinching me.”

“Behave then.”, you laughed. “And now stop moving otherwise it really will hurt.”

With one hand, you pushed his shirt up his back and as your gaze once again fell on the colourful bruise, a deep sigh escaped your lips. It didn’t look good at all. Carefully, to avoid causing him more pain, you applied a thin layer of the gel all over his affected skin, apologising ever so often when his tiny hisses and groans could be heard in the kitchen.

Mason’s eyes had fallen shut the moment your warm hands had touched his back and the longer you kept going the more difficult it became to hide the shivers rolling up his spine. Your gentle touch was relaxing, and it was way too early when you squeezed his sides and told him you were done.

 “You really need to take care of yourself, Mase.”, you told him, gaze lingering on the way the muscles danced under his skin as he straightened up again.

“I promise you, I will.” Mason pressed his lips softly to your forehead in an attempt to reassure you once he’d turned around. “Thank you, y/n.”

You would’ve loved to keep him around, but Ellie calling for him had him pulling away from you. He grabbed the bottle, filled it with water and padded back into the living room, leaving you and your thoughts alone in the kitchen.

It hadn't even been a whole week, but Ellie and you had become very attuned to one another. She trusted you and liked being around you, she was happy and always up to whatever you proposed, whilst you’d figured out quickly which things she liked and preferred to do.

Juggling the job and the little one had turned out to be surprisingly easy too. Mason had set up an office for you on the same floor as Ellie’s bedroom so you could keep an eye on her without having to be with her all the time and she had the chance to come see you whenever she wanted or needed to.

You loved it. Not just the time with Ellie though, but also the time you got to spend with Mason. Of course, the two of you had spent time together before too, but with him being incredibly busy and having to share the time between rather lots of people, it had been nowhere near as much as right now.

In fact, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d cooked and had dinner together and now that you got to see him this often, you realised you hadn’t cherished the time before enough.

Deep in thoughts, you didn’t notice Mason coming back into the kitchen, so you nearly jumped out of your skin the moment he brushed up right behind you, hands settling on your hips.

The way he was so touchy with you made you a little shy and you had to remind yourself that it was just Mason and there was no reason to get all blushy.

“I forgot to ask what you’re making.”, he mumbled, his chin propped up on your shoulder to catch a glimpse of what was in the pots right in front of you. “Is it spag bol?”

You could literally hear his childlike excitement when he’d made sense of all the ingredients and when you nodded, he wiggled his head happily before pecking your cheek quickly. “Looks and smells amazing, love.”

And because he was as cheeky as they come, he didn’t miss the opportunity to try and dip his finger into the sauce, but you knew him well enough to anticipate his next move, so before he could actually burn himself, you pushed his hand away.

“It’s hot Mase.”, you giggled at the pout you could spot from the corner of your eye. “Don’t you have anything to do? Places to be? Anything?”

Mason just laughed at your attempt to shoo him away and nodded. “I’ll see what my other favourite girls are doing then.”, he told you. Squeezing your waist, he dropped a kiss to the top of your head before leaving you on your own; your flushed cheeks from the way he’d referred to you as his favourite girl going entirely unnoticed by him.

You quickly finished the spaghetti before calling everyone to come sit down. Unsurprisingly, Ellie and Summer were the first to beg for Jaz and Mason to put them into their seats and the moment you filled their plates with pasta and Bolognese, their eyes nearly popped out of their heads.

“Pagetti!”, Summer screeched, nearly jumping out of her seat the moment Jaz reached for her plate to cut the pasta in smaller bits.

You looked up from filling the remaining plates when Mason’s sweet voice had you looking up. “Is that yummy, Ellie?”, he asked, watching the way his daughter dipped her finger into the sauce on her plate, whilst Mason cut the spaghetti and when the little one hummed and nodded in agreement, he looked up to you with a soft smile.

You blushed, but smiled back at him before focusing on putting pasta onto your plate as well and sitting down opposite of him and Ellie.

*

The next day was your so-called day off. After the game the day before, Mason – and the rest of his team obviously – had been given the day off. You’d protested a little when he had told you that you should take the day for yourself to recover from the week, but in the end he’d got his way.

After finishing some chores, all you’d been doing was lounging on the sofa and making your way through several Netflix films and series. You’d even ordered yourself some food as the laziness had been too strong and now that you were wrapped up in a fluffy blanket, eyes growing a little heavy, you realised that you’d actually needed this day off.

Not that you hadn’t enjoyed spending time with Ellie and in the evenings with Mason too, but until you’d laid down a couple of hours ago, you hadn’t noticed just how exhausted you actually were.

Whilst you were enjoying the quiet time all by yourself, Mason and Jaz had taken the kids for a little walk. The two girls were walking in front, giggling away and trying to find some pretty flowers to pick, whilst Mason was indulged in his thoughts.

And every single one of these thoughts revolved around you.

In the last two weeks, you had always been by his side. When he’d gone to training? You’d been there. When he’d come home from training? You’d been there. After his game? You’d been there. You’d become a reassuring constant and while he actually really liked it, he couldn’t help but feel like he was becoming too dependent on you.

“Penny for your thoughts?”, Jaz asked, already suspecting something was up and when her brother released a deep sigh, it was proof enough for her.

“This is gonna make me sound insane.”, he huffed, kicking a pebble to the side of the path, but deep down he knew that his sister would never judge him. Maybe give him a bit of a talking to, but not more. “y/n is really amazing, you know? With Ellie obviously, but also in the way she supports me. Like when I get back home, she’s done all these things like cooking and tidying up already, so I get to spend time with my trouble on two legs.”

Mason kicked another pebble when he gave himself a moment to figure out how to voice his worries.

“It’s been just two weeks and I already feel like I can’t do anything without her. Not because she wouldn’t let me, but because it’s normal that she’s there and part of our lives and it’s just…what if I get too dependent on her? Until Ellie can go to nursery it’ll take a while and…I don’t know it’s just worrying me. Like even today it feels weird that y/n isn’t here, you know?”  

Jaz just smiled, her heart filled with warmth because she knew that despite the worries plaguing him right now, he had you, the most wonderful best friend anyone could ever ask for, by his side. She knew, no matter what, he’d always find you having his back and fighting his corner.

“That’s okay, Mase.”, she began, touching his arm in reassurance. “y/n has been there since all normality disappeared from your everyday life. Of course, it feels like you could never do it on your own because, let's face it, it would be incredibly stressful, but deep down you know that if you had to, you could manage without her. Just with a lot more sacrifices.”

“I know, it’s just that…it’s difficult to explain but…what if I depend too much on her? Like she has her own life and stuff going on and all she does right now is taking care of Ellie and me and…what if…what if she…erm…”

“What if she leaves, you mean?”, Jaz asked softly.

“Yes.” His voice was quiet and a little shaky, hesitant in confessing his deepest fear and her heart broke for her little brother. The whole situation had obviously taken a toll on him and on top of that he was worrying his best friend could leave him.

“I understand that, Mase.”, she sighed. “But if you ask me, you don't have to worry about that. She's your best friend and yes, maybe she didn't realise the extent of it when she offered to help, but I can't imagine her just running away. I've seen how she deals with Ellie, how she cares and how much she loves her.”, Jaz squeezed her little brother’s arm a little. “But of course, I can't promise you anything. Don’t you have another day off tomorrow? You should talk to her, you know? Be honest with her, tell her about your worries and then you can go from there together, okay?”

Mason gave it a little thought, unsure if he could actually be that honest with you and tell you how terrified he truly was, but he knew he had to. For Ellie’s sake.

“You’re probably right. Thanks Jaz.”

“That’s okay.”, she smiled. “And if you don’t want it to continue like this you know that you have us, and we’ll step up. Mum and Dad already said they’d move to Manchester until Ellie can go to nursery, so you don’t have anything to worry about.”

“Thank you. Honestly, thank you, Jaz.”

Mason pulled his sister into a tight hug and the realisation that no matter what would happen, he had all of his family by his side was reassuring enough to find the bravery to send you a quick text.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened your chat, chuckling quietly as his gaze fell on the name he’d saved you under. You were a happy person; a smile was almost all the time grazing your lips and lighting up your beautiful face, but above all, you giggling was his favourite sound in the world.

[mountttmase]

Every Second Of Everyday

Note - I’m running out of fics 😭 this one was never supposed to see the light of day but here we are. I hope you enjoy and I’d love some feedback 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 6k

Warnings - angst, fluff & smut

‘So yeah I mean Its really easy, you just have to buy in the dip but obviously you need to know when that is, I can totally teach you if you want me too”

‘Oh yeah sounds… super interesting’

Not.

Listening to a man you’d only met properly an hour and a half ago waffle on about crypto currency and NFT’s was not how you imagined your Wednesday would be going. You had no idea what he was going on about, and you didn’t care either. Disappointment had flooded through you from about ten minutes into the date, he seemed so different from when you’d been messaging. He barely asked you anything about yourself and spent the whole time trying to explain, or rather boast, to you what he did for a living.

‘I’m just popping to the loo, be back in a sec’ he smiled as he stood from his chair. You smiled back and nodded lightly, watching him walk away from you as you let out a quiet sigh of relief. Thankful you were finally alone but not two seconds later you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. You quickly pulled it out to check it wasn’t an emergency, having not looked at it the whole way through lunch, not wanting to be rude, but the name that flashed up was the last person you thought it would be.

Mason

What the hell did he want?

You and Mason were… complicated. You knew how you felt about him and you were pretty sure he felt the same but for some reason nothing has ever come of it. You’d grown up best friends with Lauren James and her bother Reece, so it was inevitable you’d meet Mason sooner or later. Reece had always mentioned him growing up to the point where you felt like you knew him already sometimes, but you kept yourself slightly separate from that part of their lives, wanting to be the escape from football.

The moment of you meeting Mason came just under six months ago. The season had been over for a week and Reece was throwing a party at his house meaning Lauren insisted you came with her. Reece introduced you to Mason within the first ten minutes of you stepping in the door and you were hooked on him from the first look.

You obviously knew who he was but you tried to play it cool and make out you didn’t. Mason bought your calm exterior hook, line and sinker, telling you that you weren’t like most of the girls he meets at these things. You spent most of that night in his company, laughing at his stupid attempts to make you smile and falling for those gorgeous brown eyes every time you looked in them. He wasn’t anything like you thought he’d be, you were expecting an ego the size of a truck to match his perfect face but as time went on you realised he was just a normal guy who did a not so normal job. You exchanged numbers at the end of the night, him kissing your cheek promising to text you the very next day and you didn’t expect anything from him with how busy he was yet when you woke up the next day with a message from him your tummy had erupted into butterflies.

It had all started out so well, cute texts here and there and promises of seeing each other as soon as you could but nothing ever materialised. You got it, he was Mason Mount and you were you but it didn’t mean it hurt any less. The texts mostly dried up, only checking in with each other here and there and only seeing each other at social events. You’d made peace with the fact nothing probably would ever happen yet that didn’t stop him from getting his way when he wanted.

He would always make eye contact with you from across the room when you were together, smirking cheekily when he noticed the blush taking over your cheeks as his come to bed eyes raked over you hungrily. He liked the fact he could do that to you and he seemed to make it his mission to tease the life out of you. His hands always finding your waist as he passed behind you, or sitting as close as he could to you on the sofa so he could run his fingers over your thighs.

You loved and hated every second of it.

You thought he was unbelievably attractive and it only took a flash of his perfect smile to get you hot under the collar. Every time his tongue poked out between his lips to wet them made your knees weak and you were pretty certain no other boy had made you feel like this before. It wasn’t all bad, and you soon fell for his goofy playful side. Admiring the way he was always making people, yourself included, laugh at his stupid jokes and sometimes it seemed like he didn’t have a fear of making himself look like a prat. You found him awfully endearing when he wasn’t trying to get under your skin so the stupid little crush you had on him didn’t face in the slightest.

But in the last two months it had become unbearable. He was a lot braver with his actions and one night after a little bit too much to drink he’d cornered you in the kitchen, pressing feather light kisses to the top of your shoulder from behind you and slowly making his way up your neck as you were trying grab a glass. No words were exchanged as he pressed his lips to your skin, knowing he’d followed you in hoping to catch you alone and If it hadn’t been for the loud crash coming from the other room you would have let him carry on. It seemed to snap him out of whatever trance he was in though and after giving you a quick wink he turned on his heel and left you stood flabbergasted.

You told yourself that night that whatever game he was playing was over. You weren’t one to stick up for yourself, clearly, but you couldn’t stand another second of him having this weird hold over you without it leading anywhere. The next morning you dowloaded a dating app, telling yourself you needed to get out there and meet some different people and see what happens. Show him that he wasn’t free to keep dangling ideas in front of your face without acting on them.

Which is how you need up in this situation today.

Charlie had seemed nice when you matched him a few days ago. He was cute and and he made you laugh but being sat opposite him was a complete other story. This was the third different date you’d been on in a month and you were starting to loose all hope of finding anyone that made you feel a fraction of what Mason did.

You sighed as you unlocked your phone to see what he wanted but your blood ran cold as you opened up the message.

It was you.

Well the back of you anyway, sat in the exact place you were right now. You slowly turned round and your eyes locked onto his right away, sat three tables back and slightly off to the left. You whipped back around before he could do anything else and tried to calm you racing heart.

What are the bloody chances?

As soon as you finished your thought, your phone buzzed again. Another text from Mason coming through.

Why is this happening to me?

You chose to ignore it, locking your phone and turning it over, hoping he would see you’re not in the mood to talk to him. He didn’t get the hint though and you groaned under your breath as his final text come through.

You hated to admit that his assertiveness made you clench your thighs together, but there was no way in hell you were going home with him. Well that’s what you told yourself anyway.

Charlie returned from the loo soon after and after a small back and forth, you agreed to let him pay for lunch. He was putting his pin in when you saw Mason heading for the door, sending you a small smile as he made his way outside. You continued looking at him as he said goodbye to his friend and made his way over to his car. The only thought in your brain being about how good he looked in something as simple as a black T-shirt and cargos, one of your favourite things to see him in and you only snapped out of your trance when Charlie let out a small cough.

‘Sorry, I was in my own little world there’ you apologised with a smile and he just smiled in return. ‘You up too much the rest of the day?’ You enquired, hoping he was so you could make a swift exit and thankfully for you he nodded.

‘Unfortunately yes, I need to get back home and check my stocks, but I’ve really enjoyed this, we’ll have to do it again some time’ he smiled and rather than let him down gently you just nodded, gathering your things so you could get out of there and away from him as quickly as possible. He walked you to the door and put his arm around you awkwardly before leaving a light kiss on your cheek. ‘See you around then y/n’. He smiled and all you could do was smile back before he walked off, thankfully in the opposite direction than you needed.

Now you were rid of him, there was one other person you needed to send on their way before you could go home and think over your life decisions whilst drowing yourself in the tub of ben and Jerrys in your freezer.

You eyes scanned over to Masons car, still parked up, and you walked to him slowly. Telling yourself to be strong and get it over with quickly and once you were at his drivers side window you tapped on it lightly three times before the window came down revealing a slightly confused looking Mason.

‘What you doing? your doors on the other side’ he winked ‘come on, get in’

‘Yeah about that, I don’t think it’s a good idea I’m just gonna head home. I’m sure you’ve got better things to be doing anyway’ you told him. Not meaning for it to come out sounding so bitter and clearly Mason picked up on it, his smile quickly turning into a frown.

‘Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?’

You just shrugged and he studied your face for a second before he opened his door. You stepped back slightly but he grabbed your arm, pulling you back to him, slotting you in-between his legs as he sat side on.

‘Come on, I haven’t seen you in ages. Why don’t you wanna hang out?’ He asked quietly. He was giving you his best puppy dog eyes they were really working on you, he looked genuinely upset you didn’t want to spend time with him. His hands planted themselves on your waist, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles just under your top. His gentle touch was making you fold and he knew it. “Please y/n, just for a little while? I promise I’ll take you home after’ he pouted, and you cursed at yourself in your head for giving into him so quickly but you couldn’t think straight when his hands were on you and he was looking at you like he was.

‘Fine, but I can’t stay long’ you lied. You had all day free, you just weren’t sure you’d be able to handle a whole afternoon of his antics.

He gave you that cheeky smile he always did, but released you so you could jump into his passenger seat. The whole ride to his house was perfect, this was the Mason you liked, no teasing or getting you flustered for his own entertainment. He asked you how you’d been and he seemed genuinely interested when you answered, a stark contrast from the lunch you had just endured and he seemed just as excited to fill you in on everything you’d missed out on in his life recently.

Once you’d arrived at his, he led you through to the kitchen to grab you both a drink, telling you to make yourself comfy on his sofa. You’d been to his house a handful of times but always with other people, today being the first time it was just the two of you and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t nervous. You tried to relax into the corner of the L shaped sofa, telling yourself you’re just catching up with a friend and there was nothing to fret over. Mason soon returned and placed your drink down on his coffee table before flopping down right next to you, his thigh pressed right up against yours and his arm resting across the back of the sofa behind you. You could feel the tips of his fingers stroking over the material of your top making you even more dazed than before.

‘So you gonna tell me who that was you were having lunch with?’ He asked. You could tell by the tone of his voice he was on a mission to poke fun at you now and you sighed quietly. Knowing it was too good to be true that maybe for once you could just be normal with each other.

‘Just a guy’

‘What’s his name?’

‘Why do you care?’

‘Just curious’ he smirked. You knew he was trying to get at you so you thought you’d try and match his energy.

‘His name is Charlie, he’s a crypto billionaire’ you tried to say confidently but as soon as the words flew out your mouth you wished you could of stuffed them back in. Like Mason would care how much money he had? Charlie didn’t even have a fraction of a billion but you were desperate at that point to make him a little jealous. You mentally face palmed yourself when you saw Masons eyebrow twitch up into somewhat of an ammused smirk.

‘Right… and how did you meet Charlie the crypto king?’

You didn’t want to tell him how, but the longer you sat there trying to think of another way you knew he wouldn’t believe you, so you just went with the truth.

‘We matched on hinge’ you said quietly, avoiding his gaze, but you head shot up when you heard his little giggle. ‘What’s so funny?’

‘Oh come off it y/n, what’s a girl like you doing looking for guys on hinge?’

‘What do you mean a girl like me?’ You scowled. You were starting to get really annoyed with him, hoping he’d choose his next words carefully so you didn’t blow up in his face.

‘I just didn’t think a gorgeous girl like yourself would look twice at any of the guys on there’ he said with a shrug. You tried to brush past the compliment but you could feel your cheeks burning up already, knowing it was giving Mason a kick to see the effect his words had on you. ’He was nowhere near good enough for you, I could tell by the way you were sitting you weren’t feeling it. Its like you’re boredom was radiating across the room’

‘Oh yeah cause you know so much about me Mason’

‘Id like to think so, yeah’ he winked, the hand resting on his thigh now making its way onto yours. You had to ball your fists at your sides in order to keep calm. ‘If you wanted a lunch date you could of always called me, I know you’d rather have me sat opposite you’

‘You’re unbelievable’ you growled, finally rising to you feet and and making a beeline for the door.

‘Hey come on y/n don’t be like this, I’m only messing’ He teased as he jumped up after you and reached out for your arm to stop you, but you’d finally had enough. Seeing red, you yanked your arm out of his grasp and turned to face him. Ready to give him a piece of your mind.

‘You know what Mason? Yeah maybe he was a bit boring but at least he had the guts to ask me out’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘All you do is lead me on, you make me feel like you like me and then you go cold on me its fucking exhausting. Do you think I want to be meeting up with randomers off hinge?’ You barked at him. He seemed slightly taken aback by your outburst but his eyes were looking at you hungrily. He’d never seen this side of you before and he was loving it. ‘You’re so full of yourself all the time, thinking you can just invite me back here and i’ll come running? I’m so sick of your shit-‘

Before you could think about what was happening, Mason had pulled you into him and his lips were on yours. Slowly walking you back until you were pressed up against the nearest wall, one hand on your waist, the other lightly wrapped around your throat.

He kissed better than you ever imagined he could and you cursed yourself for moaning into his mouth. The feel of his smile on your lips frustrated you even more than you thought possible and his mouth soon detached from yours as he flipped you round. Your chest now pressed to the wall, his front leaning into your back and you could just start to feel him hardening against your bum.

‘This what you wanted from me yeah?’ He whispered into your ear. You turned your face to try and look at him over your shoulder, but his lips on the other side of your neck made you close your eyes. He could feel the way your breathing was getting shallower as his fingertips raked up your side and he was eager to see just how far he could push you. ‘You still sick of my shit or you want me to keep going?’

‘Keep going’ you whimpered quietly, the words coming out your mouth before your brain could figure out what you wanted to say, and you felt him smile against your neck.

‘Good girl’

‘Im not your good girl, mase’ you countered but you knew you were just lying yourself. You always had been and you always would be.

He turned you back round and tucked your loose hairs behind your ears before leaning down and kissing you again lightly. ‘We’ll see’ he breathed into your mouth. ‘Go sit back down for me yeah?’ He asked but you waited a moment, both looking at each other to see who would break first but you could tell he wasn’t budging so you silently made you way back over to his sofa. Your fingertips touching your lips as you still couldn’t believe after all this time you’d finally kissed him.

He stood studying you for a few seconds before following you over, however instead of taking up his seat from before, he knelt down infront of you. Parting your knees and slotting himself in between them. His hands came to rest on either sides of your hips and his face now dangerously close to yours.

‘I know we’ve got some things we need to talk about, but can you please let me make you feel good first?’ He whispered, kissing you again softly. ‘I think it’s just best we get this out our system cause there’s no way I’ll be able to concentrate on anything serious if all I can think about is what’s under these clothes’

You were having an internal battle, obviously you wanted him but would it just make everything afterwards more difficult? Was he just saying this to get one over on you? He could see you were struggling with what to do so he kissed your neck trying to show you how much he needed you.

‘Please baby, just a taste’ he whispered just below your ear and you felt your whole body erupt in goosebumps. Fuck he was good. It was like he knew exactly what to say and do to you. You knew you were wrapped around his finger but up until now you hadn’t realised how much. ‘You can trust me I promise’

Could you trust him?

The only thing on your mind was the thought of him getting you down to your underwear and then him telling you it’s all a joke. That this was just a new low for him to try and get one over on you but you knew Reece would kick him into next week if he ever tried something like that and the look in Masons eyes also settled you a bit.

You wanted to say no but you you were too caught up in him finally giving you what you wanted. Thinking to yourself, even if this is all you ever got from him then you’d find a way to live with it. You just couldn’t refuse him when he was in between your thighs, promising to make it worth you while. So you nodded and kissed him back, a little deeper this time, parting your lips so he could slip in tongue in when he silently asked for permission.

God he was so good at this, you thought as his hands came to rest at the waistband of you jeans. Why the hell haven’t we done this sooner? if I had to pick between breathing or kissing Mason, I think id choose the latter.

His fingers slowly made their way to the button on your jeans, and he pulled back, looking at your face to make sure you were still comfortable. You nodded at him so he carried on, unzipping you before tapping your thigh so you would lift your hips in order for him to rid you of them. Next to come off was your top, leaving you with only your bra on underneath, thanking the lord you’d decided to put a nice one on this morning. Feeling your slight discomfort at being the only one without clothes on, he peeled his own top from his body, tossing it over the back of his sofa.

You’d seen pictures of his body before and knew what it looked like under certain things but seeing it like this in person made your mouth water. He was flawless.

His kisses resumed and then he made his way down your neck, across your collar bones and down your chest. As he mouth was nearing where you needed him, you sank back into the cushions. You felt his lips dance across the band of your underwear before he hooked his thumbs under and pulled them down you legs.

‘So fucking perfect’ he murmured between kisses over your hips and thighs, the sound of his voice made your tummy flip with anticipation.

You were torn between looking at him or laying back and just enjoying it, so you grabbed and cushion and stuffed it behind you, giving you the perfect view of what he was about to do to you. You were growing impatient with his gentle kisses on you inner thighs, wishing he would just burry his face in you already so you threaded your fingers through his hair and attempted to guide him to where you needed him. You felt him smirk against you, placing one final kiss against you before giving you what you wanted.

He teased your folds apart slowly with his tongue, and when he made contact with your clit, circling over it slowly a few times, you let out a pent up breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding.

You couldn’t help his name falling off your lips and he moaned into you at the sound. A sound he’d been waiting forever to hear. You felt your breathing deepen as he got into his rhythm, bringing his fingers up to spread you apart even further. Your moans for him only growing louder and it was all the encouragement he needed to keep going, eventually slipping those same fingers inside of you to heighten your pleasure.

‘You taste so fucking good’ he growled and pumped his fingers into you a little faster, hitting the spot that made you cry out. ‘That feel good baby?’

‘Yes Mase, so fucking good, please keep going im so close’

If you weren’t so horrifically turned on then you might have been embarrassed about how quickly he’d managed to get you to this point but you didn’t care. You felt too good to think about anything else.

‘Come on baby, be good for me and cum’ he moaned against you and you thought in that moment you you would have done anything he asked you to. Why did he have to be so good at everything?

It only took a few more seconds and you were cumming over his fingers, his mouth still working on you to ride you through it, and when he felt like you’re breathing had calmed down, he kissed his way back up your body to you lips. You let out a small hum as you tasted yourself on his lips, a slight giggle coming from you and you tried to hide in his neck out of embarrassment. He couldn’t help but laugh himself as he sat down next to you, pulling you into his lap, both slightly overwhelmed with what had just taken place. He reached behind him for the blanket he kept there, wrapping it around the both of you.

After a few moments of silence you felt his lips lightly press on your forehead before he muttered the words ‘i’m sorry’

Ah shit.

This was part you were dreading. The first thought coming to mind was him telling you he’s sorry for making you think the two of you could be anymore than you already were. You told yourself you were fine with it, but the feeling of your heart sinking told you you weren’t.

He must of felt your disappointment, his arm tightening around you slightly whilst his other hand cupped your jaw, tilting your face up to look at him. His eyes looked soft and from the slight smile that played on his lips you thought it best to see what he had to say rather than get up and run.

‘All the cocky bullshit with you, it’s always just been a front. Truth is, the way you make me feel scares the shit out of me’ he told you gently. Your eyes pleaded with him to carry on, but the tsunami in his tummy was holding him back. He rested his head on top of yours and closed his eyes, figuring it might be easier to tell you how he felt if he wasn’t looking straight at you.

‘I’ve liked you from the first moment I saw you. Before that even’ he chuckled. ‘Recce talked about you all the time and I’ve always wanted to meet you but you make me more nervous than anyone else I’ve ever known. I think about you every second of everyday and I kick myself that I’ve never been able to just grow a pair and tell you’

You could feel his heart racing in his chest, the tempo matching your own at his words. You slowly stroked your thumb over his hand in an attempt to calm him so he could carry on, your gentle touches only making him fall for you even more.

‘I guess I just thought if we carried on the way we were then I’d still sort of have you. Like the fear of you rejecting me was worse than only having you a little bit’ he chuckled and you nuzzled into his neck a little at his confession. ‘I didn’t mean to make you feel as bad as I did though, half the time I wasn’t even trying to tease you I just wanted to be near you. I know I should of just asked you how you felt but if you haven’t noticed I’m not all that smart sometimes’

You shifted on his lap so he’s had to look at you, you noticed the pink tinge to his cheeks from all of his confessions and all you wanted to do was kiss him. His smile mirrored your own and you were now ready to share your feelings in the same way he just had.

‘Why don’t you ask me now?’

‘Huh?’

‘Ask me how I feel about you’

He took in a deep breath and shook his head lightly with a smile, almost like he couldn’t believe what he was about to do. ‘How you do you feel about me, y/n?’

Come on girl, you got this.

‘I think about you every second of everyday, too’ you whispered, causing him to giggle and burry his head in your hair. ‘It’s true, I’ve always liked you Mase. Maybe I could have been a bit braver and told you first but I couldn’t get the words out. I didn’t know for sure you liked me the way I like you and I guess I was kinda the same? I was alright with having you a little bit but that fear of rejection was holding me back’ you told him and you felt him nod into your hair and hold you that tiny bit closer. ‘I didn’t wanna go on dates with other guys but I couldn’t take not having you anymore and figured it would be a good distraction so I could move on from you but no one ever made me feel like you do’

He moved again so he could look at you, his thumb stroking over your jaw softly and a slight look of guilt dressed his face. ‘I’m sorry I made it get to that point I never meant to make you feel that way. I hated seeing you out with someone else today like it proper hurt but I suppose it gave me the kick up the backside i needed.’ you chucked and turned your face in his hand to kiss his palm. It felt amazing to finally be this close to him but the little voice in the back of your head was stopping you from fully enjoying it. Mason must have sensed your change and tilted your face back up towards his. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothings wrong, just what happens now? Where do we go from here?’

‘Well if you’d let me, I’d love to take you for dinner tonight. Like a proper date?’

‘Two dates with two different men in one day, what will people think of me’ you teased and he just laughed at your silliness.

‘Yeah well I’m saying this mornings one didn’t count. I have a funny feeling you won’t be seeing Charlie the crypto king any time soon’

You felt your face flush in embarrassment but his lips on your cheek made you smile. You snuggled into him more and he moved to lay down taking you with him and after a few moments of silence you felt his breathing getting heavier so you kissed his chest and settled down next to him.

‘Wake me up in ten minutes’ you heard him say softly and you tried to hold your giggle in at his antics.

‘Sure thing Mase’ you whispered and lent back as the face you adored slowly drifted off.

[redroomreflections]

Gentle Hands Chapter 3

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Natasha suspects Reader is in an abusive relationship and tries to convince her to leave

3/10

W/c: 5.1k

Warning: Domestic violence

Masterlist | General Masterlist

Note: Yes, I have a lot of WIPS sue me!

Natasha grew up in a facility with twenty-three other girls. She worked tirelessly to be the best in her generation. Not because she wanted to but because she had to. She woke up every single day with the same goals in mind. To train, to learn, to fight. She ate with the girls, attended Red Room’s version of schooling with them, and even befriended a few. This didn’t work out in much of the way she wanted. She experienced loss at a young age. To progress, she had to kill the other girls in her class. She had to become numb or she would fall. She went through hell and back just to come out on top. She understands how it feels to be an asset to someone that doesn’t see a person as anything more than that. She understands. She’s lived her version of hell.

As she grew and her life took on different paths so did her mindset. She was taken under Clint’s wing. She became close with him and his wife. Rarely did she ever allow herself to love. With Clint it was easy. He didn’t berate her. He didn’t hurt her. He only pushed her to be the best version of herself that she could be. Which sounds cheesy but it’s helped her immensely. She was always evolving and she could see that now. Each moment in her life changed her for the better or the worse.

This time for Natasha, it was the very moment she picked you up. She didn’t mind the late-night pickup. She didn’t care that you called. She’s used to being able to jump up in a flash. All she wanted was for you to be safe. She wanted Kaia to be safe. The anger coursing through her seeing your face scared her. To see you so exhausted. Bloody and bruised. It was an unimaginable sadness. How could someone do that to a person they claim to love? How could they live with themselves?

It’s a recurring thought that Natasha tries to put to rest. She knows why. She’s seen monsters. She’s watched them with her own eyes commit atrocities you wouldn’t believe. This particular situation put her at a disadvantage. She’s not sure how to help you. She’s not sure if you’ll even want to stay. What she does know is that she needs to make your time here comfortable. The recovery won’t be easy but she has to do something.

Natasha woke up with a purpose. She started her morning routine feeding Liho. She moved around the kitchen with swift steps as she prepared his meal. Next was brushing her teeth and skincare. She doesn’t have some twelve-step routine but she likes giving herself that care. She uses the half bathroom to not disturb you and Kaia. Once she’s done she goes back into the kitchen to go over her next steps.

She opened the refrigerator cursing to herself at finding the shelves bare. It’s only ever been her to step inside of this apartment. She doesn’t have visitors. She doesn’t let people over. She certainly doesn’t tell anyone where she stays. The only one to know the existence of this place is Ricky Mason and maybe Nick Fury. That man had a way of knowing everything. He was almost as good as her. She took a mental note to ask what you liked to eat.

She prepared herself a cup of tea while searching through her drawers for a pen and pad. Once she found a working Inkpen and a blank sheet on the pad she walked over to her couch to sit. She didn’t flinch when Liho jumped to sit on the headrest beside her head. She presses the pen to her lip and thinks about what to get first. She’s never had to shop for anyone else. She’s never had to think about anyone else but herself.

Natasha reaches for her phone only having one person to call.

She presses the phone, bringing it to her ear to listen. It’s 9 am. Laura and Clint will be up. Laura answers the phone on the second ring.

“Natasha?” Laura questions.

“Hey, do you have a second?” Natasha asks.

“Yes, Clint is out with the kids right now. Did you want to speak with him ?”

“No, actually, I wanted your advice.” Natasha stares down at the pad. She scribbles the title “Shopping” at the top of the page. “I have a friend here and I need to do a bit of shopping.”

“Oh, okay.” Laura doesn’t even try to hide her surprise. She’s never known Natasha to have friends outside of her small circle.

“She’s just leaving a tough situation and she has a baby. She’s - Kaia is one I think.” Natasha guesses based on memory. “They don’t have much right now and I wanted to get them started. I guess I just want to know where to start.”

Laura is more than happy to help. She sees her as a younger sister even though they’re only a few years apart. If Natasha is coming to her for advice then it’s something serious. It’s something she cares about.

“Well, first I would check the little one’s diaper size. I doubt she’s potty trained yet,” Laura lists off. Natasha writes it on the pad. She listens to the items as if it’s the most important information. “Then I would go for clothes. I would start with the basics. Onesies, t-shirts, pants. Does she have a jacket or coat? I know it’s getting chilly in New York.”

“No, neither of them did. I don’t think she was able to grab it when I picked them up.” Natasha bites her lip nervously.

“Well they’re both going to need one,” Laura wants to ask questions. She’s curious but she doesn’t want Natasha to shut down. “I would ask her mom but usually I get the kids’ jackets a size bigger for them to grow into. They grow quickly.” Natasha writes this down too. She knows nothing about babies outside of helping with Lila, Cooper, and now Nathaniel.

“What about the food? Can she eat what we eat or does she need special food? She has a few teeth I think.” Natasha sets the pen down. She does remember feeding Kaia the muffin but further than that she’s clueless. “Do you think I’m overdoing it?”

“She’s well over the age to start eating solids so I bet she does,” Laura guesses. “I think you’re a good friend and whomever this person maybe, she is lucky to have you, Natasha. Sounds like she means a lot to you.”

Natasha breathes a sigh of relief. She holds the phone allowing herself to feel whatever it is she’s feeling. She can’t quite describe it.

“They mean a lot to me, Laur,” Natasha admits. “I’ve never.” She doesn’t want to voice her insecurity. She feels she may be way in over her head. What if she can’t give you the full support that you need? What if you decide that this isn’t what you want? She’s not expecting you to jump into a relationship with her. She made that clear last night. Her support isn’t based on contingencies. She’s not that kind of person. She will respect your wishes if you decided to live on your own somewhere. She only wants you safe. Your safety is number one.

“I know, Nat.” Laura empathizes.

“She’s going through something with her boyfriend,” Natasha looks up at the ceiling. She blinks away the tears in her eyes and clears her throat. “I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I’m just so mad. He hurt her.”

“Oh, Natasha,” Laura says. She listens as Natasha repositions the phone against her ear. “If she came to you then she was confident that you would know what to do. I don’t think she will expect much from you. She just needs support and safety right now.”

Natasha nods before realizing Laura can’t see her.

“It won’t be easy for her. Don’t lose faith.”

“I won’t,��� Natasha is sure of it. She’s not going to give up on you. She couldn’t. Not when her heart is in it. It terrifies her. She feels so strongly for you in such a short amount of time. It’s a feeling that sends her flying while also wanting to make her run. She’s not going to run. She won’t do that. “Is there more that I should get? Toys and things like that?”

“Toys, books, blankets. How long do you plan on them staying?”

“For as long as they need,” Natasha replies. She means it.

“Well then, go ahead and grab a pen and paper because you’re going to need a list.”

Natasha picks up the pen again to begin writing down everything Laura relays to her. She didn’t realize taking care of a baby required so much. She’s not clueless. She’s just never had to think about any of this. When she's done talking to Laura she hangs up feeling so much lighter. She makes quick work of opening her laptop and finding the best grocery delivery websites. Then she goes to a baby website. There’s a place that could deliver things today. It takes her over an hour to shop for everything. She gets the basics in hopes to talk with you later about other necessities.

**********

She closes her laptop feeling accomplished. After throwing an extra hefty tip the groceries would be delivered in the next hour. The baby’s clothes and other items would be here around the same time. Now that that’s done she has to find something to occupy herself with. She drinks the rest of her now cool tea before standing to dump it in the kitchen sink. She looks around the room. It’s a bachelorette pad. It’s bare. She doesn’t decorate. It’s not her thing. There are not even pictures on the wall.

Natasha finds herself bored. She doesn’t want to leave you both in the apartment just yet. She would usually be at the tower by now finishing up a workout. Deciding to come to check on you, she walks down the hallway to peek inside. You’re still asleep. You must be pretty exhausted. After the night you’ve had it’s only right for you to rest as much as you can. Natasha is just about to walk back to the living room when a small head lifts from the bed. Kaia pushes herself up onto her knees. She whimpers, unaware of her new surroundings before she finds you a few feet away from her. She taps at your shoulder to no avail.

Natasha debates on whether or not she should take her. Would she cry? Technically she doesn’t even know Natasha. She steps inside of the bedroom, Kaia’s eyes quickly finding hers.

“Hi,” Natasha says softly. Kaia watches as she approaches the bed. She raises her arms to be picked up by Natasha. Another grown-up was good enough. “Your mama is still sleeping. You must be hungry.” Natasha helps the toddler into her arms. She practically melts when Kaia lies her head on her shoulder. Weighting a baby and feeling how real she is. It’s weird, to say the least. There are remnants of sleep as she breathes against Natasha’s neck. “Let’s go find something for you to eat.” Natasha finds it a bit silly to be talking to herself but Kaia seems to be a great listener. She pads out of the bedroom to go to the kitchen. Liho is drinking from his bowl when Kaia spots him. She raises her head, watching him in interest, but making no move to leave Natasha’s arms.

“That’s Liho,” Natasha crouches down to introduce them. “He’s a cat.”

“Cat?” Kaia mimics. She reaches a hand out to pet Liho. Her touch is rough and she grabs at his fur. Natasha raises her hand to free Liho from Kaia’s hold. The cat quickly makes his exit.

“Gentle, baby,” Natasha instructs her.

Kaia wiggles from Natasha’s arms to slide onto the ground. She crawls over to Liho’s water bowl. She immediately smashes her hand into the bowl in an attempt to pour the water into her mouth. Natasha gasps, pulling the bowl away from her and picking Kaia up. Okay, so she had a few things to learn.

“Are you thirsty sweet girl?” Natasha laughs. She sure hopes you won’t be angry at this little mishap. She stands with Kaia to turn to grab a bottle of water in the fridge. She opens it and holds it out to Kaia. Kaia’s arms leave Natasha’s shoulders to take the bottle with both hands. She immediately guzzles down the water, swallowing harshly. Suddenly, she lets go of the bottle prematurely, spilling much of the water on her shirt. She gasps and coughs. Natasha takes the bottle to set it on the counter while patting her back to help her through. Kaia coughs harshly one more time before giving Natasha a surprised look. “Okay, I am so glad I added baby cups to that list.” Natasha shakes her head. Kaia rubs her hand against her belly. She’s not very happy with her messy shirt. Liho makes a reappearance this time to purr against Natasha’s legs.

“Cat!” Kaia calls out to Liho.

“No, no cat, let’s find something to eat.” Natasha finds a small box of cheerios in the cabinets that she can share. She eats them from time to time. Without a proper chair for the girl, she sits at the table with Kaia on her lap. She foregoes milk and places the cheerios in a bowl. She allows Kaia to eat with her hands while she sends a text to Steve and the rest of the team. She’s positive Steve and Sam told everyone else the situation with you. Everyone sends well wishes and hopes to see you soon. Natasha is pulled from her messaging when Kaia holds up a cheerio in the palm of her hand. She places it against Natasha’s lips and the redhead opens her mouth with a smile.

Were kids always this cute?

“That’s for you,” Natasha tells her but Kaia has other plans. In between feeding herself, she will give Natasha a cheerio. Natasha would take it gratefully. She scrolls through her emails while making sure Kaia eats all of her food. Finally, after the better part of an hour, Kaia pushes the plate away. She’s ready to play. There’s a knock at the front door and Natasha knows it’s the delivery. She asked for no contact and as she peeks through the peephole she knows they followed orders. Kaia waits patiently on the kitchen floor as Natasha brings in the bags. She might have gone overboard with the amount of food. Kaia peeks through the bags with new curiosity. She finds a can of food that she tosses on the ground. She enjoys the loud noises.

Natasha takes the can away and replaces it with a wooden spoon for her to smash against the floor. Kaia happily takes it and taps it haphazardly against the cabinets. There’s another knock at the door. Natasha quickly takes the packages and tosses them to the side. She doesn’t want to leave Kaia for too long. Deciding the toddler is occupied for long enough, she sets out on putting the groceries away.

************

When you finally awaken it’s with a stiffness in your back that you find all too familiar. Your lip still feels a bit sore and you could feel nausea at the forefront of your mind. You wait a few seconds to gather yourself before standing from the bed. The only thing on your mind is to pee. You rush to the bathroom to do your business. You can hear a slight banging coming from the front of the apartment. That’s where Kaia must be. Briefly, your mind wonders if this is all a dream. Did you leave? Did you get away? You find the extra toothbrush left for you. You brush your teeth bent over the sink. You don’t want to look. You don’t want to see how bad it is. Looking would only serve as a reminder. Only this serves to be hard when you need to wash your face. You stand straighter to look at yourself. It’s not as bad as you thought. Certainly not something that should have happened. The apple of your cheek is a purplish color but isn’t scary. Your lip is split and you’re hoping with time it heals. You don’t think you need stitches so hopefully, there’s no scar. You don’t know how long you stand there. You just look at yourself wondering how you ever became this person.

Why did you allow him to do that to you? Why weren’t you strong enough? A squeal from the kitchen pulls you from your thoughts. Kaia is depending on you. She’s depending on you to do better and be better. Even if all you want to do is climb back into the bed and hide under the covers you don’t. She needs you.

You leave the bathroom to follow the sounds of the banging. You are a bit surprised to find the endearing scene in front of you.

Natasha is sitting with her back against the cabinets as Kaia plays with pots and pans in front of her. Occasionally she will give a tap much to Kaia’s delight. You watch them with a smile. You glance over to the time on the stove. 11 A.M. You slept for so long. For some reason, you feel like most of your day is wasted. Natasha laughs at something Kaia does.

“What’s all this?” You ask startling them both. You point over to the packages waiting by the front door. Natasha lifts her head, her eyes following your finger, and then back to you.

“They’re supplies,” She says simply.

“Supplies?” You repeat back. You round the counter to Kaia putting the wooden spoon into her mouth again. Natasha quickly takes it from her much to her disappointment.

“For you and Kaia,” Natasha says. Your eyes widen.

“Natasha, no, I can’t pay you back,” You frown.

“You don’t need to,” She shakes her head. “You need things. Besides, I used Tony’s credit card.” She shrugs with a hint of amusement. You find yourself smiling back. It was always fun to use Tony Starks money. You crouch down to sit on your bottom next to Kaia. She looks over to you before continuing to play with the pots.

“Thank you, Nat.” You say. “I take it they know?”

“I had to tell them,” Natasha gauges your reaction. You nod. Of course, she did. “If they’re going to be your support system they had to know a little bit. Only the important details. That you and Kaia got out and now you’re staying with me.”

You think about that. “Thank you.” Natasha doesn’t respond. She would do it all again if you asked.

“Nat,” You run a hand over Kaia’s head smoothing down her hair. “About last night when... I kissed you.” She tilts her head. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had to do that. I wasn’t in the right headspace and we’ve never even talked about anything past us. I mean technically I’m still with Keith. Not really. I don’t know. I left and I was here and I was just feeling so many emotions and it wasn’t the right time. I wasn’t trying to repay you with sex. At least, not intentionally. So, in short, I’m sorry for putting you in that situation.”

Natasha listens to your rambling so patiently, She lets you get out your thoughts without any judgment. You’re realizing you don’t like that she has such a good poker face. If she was thinking something she doesn’t say it. She simply waits until you’re done.

“First, you didn’t put me in any situation I didn’t want to be in,” Natasha begins. She sits up straighter against the counters. “ I kissed you back. I would think the blame would be more on me for letting it happen when you’re so upset.”

“Nat,” You begin and this time she interrupts.

“I know it’s going to take a while for you to be okay. Let yourself feel everything. It may be confusing. You might even still have feelings for him. Let it happen. I’m right here every step of the way.” She promises.

“Is that fair to you?” You move to bite your lip until you remember the injury. “I’m sitting here crying, bruised, and pregnant with another man’s baby. You’re showing me all of this grace and I don’t deserve it. Why are you being so patient with me?” Your eyes drop to the floor to avoid crying. You’d rather not cry anymore.

“Because you deserve it,” Natasha says firmly. “You deserve patience and kindness. It doesn’t matter what’s fair to me. I’m not going to take advantage of you. Not now and not ever.” You nod.

“Thank you,” You whisper.

“Besides, I am not helping you with the expectation of a relationship.” Natasha asserted. She twirls the spoon around in her hand. “I’m helping you because I care about you. And Kaia.” The silence between the two of you speaks volumes. You’re allowing her words to settle inside of you while she hangs on to her last bit of sanity. She won’t admit it but she’s scared too. She’s terrified of her feelings.

“Your shirt’s all wet,” You notice Kaia’s drenched outfit.

“Yeah we may have had a couple of incidents earlier,” Natasha manages to look guilty.

“It happens, kids are messy.” You say nonchalantly.

“I bought clothes and diapers for her. I hope that’s okay.” Natasha gestures towards the packages.

“It’s fine.”

“Let’s open them,” Natasha stands to grab the first packages for you. She steps over the many pots and pans. Kaia’s eyes follow her with deep interest.

“Do you like Natasha baby bird?” You whisper into her ear. She taps against the pans again and you cringe. Natasha’s neighbors probably wouldn’t be too happy with the noise. Natasha comes back with the first two packages while kicking a box of diapers along the floor. She stops in front of you to open the drawer next to your head. There she finds a box cutter.

“How were you able to get all of this stuff on short notice?”

“I know a guy,” Natasha smirks. She opens the boxes and sets them down between you. “I hope everything fits her. I called in a friend to ask about babies since she has three.” Natasha confesses.

“Well your friend is very good at baby knowledge,” You search through the box. The diaper size is right. “I’m going to go change her quick,” You say while grabbing Kaia. Her shirt is soaked.

“I’m going to put these things away,” Natasha says. “I only have one bedroom so the hall closet will have to do for now.” She begins to put the extras away while leaving out the toys and other necessities she bought. You set Kaia onto a towel on the bed and pull her pants off first. Then you tug the buttons of her onesie. She isn’t much help as you maneuver her around to put on a fresh diaper. The sizing is perfect. Then you grab one of the new t-shirts and a pair of baby sweatpants that are simply adorable. Natasha’s style of choice was cute and it clearly shows that she hand-picked these items.

“Kaia, Mama’s new friend is nice,” You whisper to the toddler. She looks up at you as if she understands. “I know right now I like her. She’s been so helpful. When you meet the team you’ll get to see that they’re all pretty cool people.” Once Kaia is fully dressed you walk back into the living room where Natasha is looking at a giant box. A playpen.

Her hands are on her hips as she sports a look of concentration. How was she going to build this?

“I wouldn’t even bother until later,” You tell her. She drops her hands. She would get it done.

You sit with Kaia on the couch and she follows.

“I made a list of things you needed,” She hands the pen and pad to you. “I don’t know if there’s anything else you need but I figured we could look together.” You look down at the pad. Everything seemed pretty straightforward. “I was wondering about a few important things. Y/n, do you plan on reporting what happened ?” You stop breathing for a second. Kaia wriggles in your arms to be put down. She wants to touch the new toys that are on the floor. You let her go as you’re too busy trying to understand the question.

“Report him?” It feels thick on your tongue. You hadn’t thought that far ahead. “I can’t… I won’t.” Reporting Keith would open up an entirely new can of worms. He’d be in trouble. He’d be so pissed. You don’t want to involve the police in your problems. It’s not worth it.

“Have you thought about that at all?” Natasha dips her head to get you to look at her. You shake your head no. “Y/n, I’m not trying to preach to you but I think it’s something we have to do.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s still out there. He hurt you.”

“He can’t find me,” You say sullenly.

“I know that,” Natasha says. “Sam says it’s important to have a paper trail. For evidence. If he were to try and get custody of Kaia there may be a fight. He could win.”

“Because he’s Keith,” You say. “He has money and good resources and a job. I have none of that. If I report it he’s going to hate me, Natasha. You don’t understand.”

“I do,” Natasha helps to open the toy Kaia brings her. “I understand very well that we could have lost you. I understand that he hurt you and he hurt Kaia. I understand that you are pregnant, Y/n. If you were to go back to him it could be deadly for you and the baby.” Your hand flies to your abdomen.

“I know, I know,” You shake your head. “I know. I just… I don’t want to do that. I don’t want people to know. It’s not. He didn't put me in the hospital. It’s not…”

“How long until he does though?” Natasha isn’t trying to be a bitch. She’s not trying to force you to do something you don’t want. She only wants you to see how serious this situation is.

“Can I think about it?” You look down at your hands. “The rational part of my brain knows what you’re saying. The other part just doesn’t know up from down right now. I didn’t even think I would leave. I never thought I would leave. Can I just have time?”

“Of course, dorogaya.” Natasha says softly.

“You must think I’m stupid.”

“I don’t. I could never.” She moves to close the distance between you. She shows you her hands first before bringing them to your face to wipe your tears away. “None of this is your fault. None of it.” She presses a kiss against your forehead.

“Thank you,” You sigh. Kaia chooses that moment to come to stand between you. She presses her palms against each of your legs to step up on the tip of her toes. She looks at you curiously, noticing the sad look on your face. That’s when you’re reminded why you left. Keith puts his hands on her. Making her cry like that? It’s something you can never forget. “Mama’s okay, baby bird.” Kaia pats your arm and you pick her up. She sits on your lap before turning to Natasha.

“Nat, I don’t think I can have another baby,” You say suddenly. “I never really thought I would get pregnant. I... I don’t know if that’s what I want. We never used protection. He didn’t like it. I just… I never thought I would become this person.”

“What are you thinking?” Natasha asks. She’s still so close that you can smell her soap. It smells fresh and clean.

“I don’t know,” You answer truthfully. “I’m not big on abortion. It’s not. I’m not against it but I just. I don’t know if I could do that. Doesn’t he deserve to know?”

“It’s what you choose,” Natasha presses. “No one else’s opinion matters. Not mine. Not Steve’s. Certainly not Keith’s. It’s your body.”

“When I found out I was devastated,” You rub Kaia’s leg as she takes your left hand into hers. “I couldn't help but think now I was going to be stuck forever. Now I was subjecting another kid to his treatments. Now I’m here and I don’t know. I just… I don’t know how I could ever take care of two babies.”

Natasha doesn’t give her opinion. She doesn’t have one worth sharing. She doesn’t think it’s valuable. She can’t have children. The Red Room made sure that wasn’t a problem for her a long time ago. She’s not going to influence you into doing something you’re unsure of. All she can do is support your decision and be there for you..

“Y/n, I think you should do whatever you feel is best for you and your situation,” She starts.

“It’s crazy,” You wipe a tear away before it can leave your eyes. “For years I’ve only had his opinion. I’ve only done what he wants me to. Now I’m here with this big decision and I don’t know what to do.”

“You will learn again,” Natasha rests her hand on your knee. “You will learn.” Her words feel encouraging and soothing. You would learn how to be human again. You would learn how to think for yourself and do the things in life you wanted. These things took time and probably a lot of therapy. Natasha receives a notification from her phone and she reaches across the coffee table to check it. When she unlocks the phone to view the message she’s frowning.

“Dear God,” She mutters.

“What?” You ask curiously.

She presses play on the video sent to her phone. She doesn’t think she should show this to you.

“Natasha, what?” You ask again.

Finally, she turns the phone towards you. It’s a screen recording of a surveillance camera.

“It’s Keith, he’s outside of the tower.” Natasha turns up the audio on her phone.

“The Avengers are aiding in the kidnapping of my baby,” He yells into the street.

Dear God indeed. What was he doing?

----- > next part

[maximoffwitch]

a johanna mason x oblivious!reader, where j always calms down around r and has a soft spot for her, then someone points it out to r and then r realizes that j is only soft for her and when she asks her, j confesses her feelings please? if that made sense 😅, thank you for ur time! i love ur writing :D

If I Know What Love Is, It Is Because of You

pairing: johanan mason x reader

warnings: canon typical violence, alcohol, blood

word count: 2.4k

summary: Everyone can see that Johanna loves you. Well, everybody but you.

a/n: thank you sm for requesting this! i had the best time writing this 🥹 and note: the scenes in italics are flashbacks!

Your head was pounding. The last place you wanted to be right now was this meeting. Yet here you were, sitting at the table, listening to Coin drone on about something as you all waited for everyone to show up – everyone being Johanna. 

“Where is Johanna?” Plutarch asked and nodded to the vacant seat the District 7 girl usually occupied. Everyone’s heads turned towards you, causing you to frown at the sudden attention.

“What?”

“Where is she?” The head gamemaker looked at you expectantly.

“Why would I know?” you asked exasperatedly, your irritation and fatigue becoming more and more evident.

Before Plutarch could respond with some quip, Finnick put his hand up and interjected. “She had a therapy session earlier,” he explained, knowing Johanna was likely hiding out in her room after her time with the head doctor.

“Let’s just start without her,” Cressida suggested impatiently, and you rolled your eyes, not even trying to hide your annoyance.

“No,” Coin shook her head. She knew the importance Johanna’s victor status held in this rebellion.  

“Well, someone needs to go get her,” Haymitch said before taking a swig of his drink. “(Y/N)?”

Again, everyone looked at you. 

“Why me?” you whined. You liked Johanna – more than you cared to admit – but right now, you were too drained to remedy her bad mood. 

“You’re the only one she tolerates,” Katniss explained.

You frowned and scrunched your brows. “What about Finnick?”

“She has a soft spot for you.” He shrugged at your perplexed look. 

“What?” You tilted your head, becoming increasingly confused. “No she doesn’t.”

“Oh really?” Finnick smirked, a mischievous glint in his eye. “What about that time with Enobaria and the glass table?”

“What did you just say to me?” Johanna seethed as she slowly put her drink down on the glass table before standing up to confront the other woman.

“You heard me.” Enobaria grinned, baring her sharp teeth. “Pawn.”

Johanna flipped the glass table, shattering it completely, causing glass to go flying. “I will kill you, Two,” she screamed, lunging at Enobaria and grabbing at her throat. 

“Hey, hey!” Finnick yelled and ran across the room to pull Johanna away.

“Speak to me again and I’ll be the one ripping your throat out.” She pointed at a leering Enobaria while struggling in Finnick’s hold.

“What the hell is going on in here?” you frowned, concern written across your face as you see Johanna, close to tears, being held back. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Johanna huffed, shrugging Finnick’s hands off her.

“Jo.” You hook your finger under her chin, lifting her gaze to meet yours. Your frown deepened as you saw her forehead was bleeding; a stray piece of glass must have caught her. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” Johanna closed her eyes and took a deep breath, immediately calming under your touch. Searching her eyes, you didn’t believe her but you didn’t say anything.

“Come on.” You took her hand and squeezed it. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“That was just because I came after the fight,” you protested weakly, your argument making little sense even to you.

Finnick rolled his eyes but said nothing. 

“Sweetheart,” Haymitch interjected, “that girl could not be more in love with you if she tried.”

He just sighed as you gave him a blank stare, your thoughts racing all over the place. 

“The whiskey incident?” Haymitch grinned smugly, tilting his glass to you before taking a sip.

This year’s Games were rough, even more than usual. Your tributes had a brutal day in the arena, and you were emotionally drained just from watching. 

Entering the common kitchen, you were in desperate need for a drink. You grabbed a glass and the bottle of District 7 whiskey Johanna brought from home.

As you gulped down your decent size pour, already refilling your glass, Haymitch swayed into the room, perking up when he saw the freshly opened bottle.

“What’s that?”

“District 7 whiskey,” you replied, before reading the label. “Hints of smoky pine.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” He chugged down whatever was remaining in his own cup before pouring himself some whiskey.

“I don’t think–” You tried to stop him, knowing Johanna would not be too pleased about Haymitch stealing her alcohol. 

“Hmm.” He let out a satisfied sigh as he inhaled the whiskey scent. 

But before he could take a test sip, a voice interrupted him.

“What do you think you’re doing? That’s mine,” Johanna walked in, visibly annoyed, and snatched the glass out of his hand. 

“(Y/N) is drinking some,” Haymitch argued childishly with an incredulous look. 

For a moment, you though you saw a sense of hesitancy flash in Johanna’s eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

“That’s because (Y/N) has some self-restraint while you drink by the bottle,” Johanna snarked, downing the glass Haymitch had poured himself.

“Hey, (Y/N/N),” Finnick poked his head in the room, briefly greeting the other two. “Cecelia was looking for you.”

You internally groaned and finished off your drink. “She probably wants to go over what happened today and strategize.”

Both Haymitch and Johanna sobered, knowing the District 8 tributes were likely not going to last much longer.

“Thanks, Jo.” You got up and pecked Johanna’s cheek, patting her shoulder. “I really needed that drink.”

“Yeah, no problem,” she responded under her breath. You gave her a small smile and slid past her out of the room. 

“You got something –“ Hamyitch motioned to the blush tinting Johanna’s cheek and gave her a knowing smirk.

Johanna snapped out of her brief daze and glared at him. “Oh, shut up, old man.”

“I would hardly call that an ‘incident,’” you objected, rolling your eyes. “I mean what did you expect, drinking what isn’t yours?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Haymitch waved you off. “My point still stands.”

All you could do was nod distractedly, as you were trying to process what Finnick and Haymitch were telling you. You and Johanna had been friends for several years, having met at Johanna’s Victory Tour banquet in the Capitol. Over the years, you knew you were falling for her but not wanting to ruin one of the only friendships you had left, you kept your feelings to yourself.

You would never expect Johanna to ever reciprocate your feelings. I mean why would she? She could be with anybody she wanted. Plus, the baggage that came with being a victor made being in any relationship difficult – for the both of you. 

But now you were starting to wonder if there was even a slight chance she felt the same.

“There was also the aftermath of the blood rain,” Katniss added, causing you to wince at the memory.

As you saw Wiress stumble out onto the beach, you recognized Johanna.

“Johanna!” You ran across the beach, Finnick closely behind you. 

“(Y/N)! Finnick!” She yelled back as the two older victors sunk into the water. 

As you got closer, you could see she was covered in blood and your chest tightened. “Johanna,” you whispered, furrowing your brows. 

“What happened? What is that?” Finnick caught his breath and assessed Johanna’s distressed state.

“It’s blood!” She laughed sardonically. “Just my luck. I’m covered in blood!”

By now, Peeta and Katniss had caught up as Johanna continued to tell what happened.

“Well, I got ‘em out. We were all the way deep into the jungle where I thought it was gonna be safe. That’s when the rain started. I thought it was water. Turned out to be blood,” Johanna explained, Wiress approaching behind her, muttering ‘tick tock’ repeatedly. “Hot, thick blood was coming down. It was choking us. We were stumbling around, gagging on it, blind.”

You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding, relieved that at least it wasn’t her own blood.

“That’s when Blight hit the forcefield.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Whether she was mourning her fellow District 7 victor or trying to keep herself from shutting Wiress up, or both, you couldn’t tell. “He wasn’t much but he was from home.”

As Katniss asked about Wiress, to which Beetee responded with something about freshwater, you could only focus on Johanna. You knew her like the back of your hand, and you knew Wiress was getting on her last nerve. Johanna was already not too happy about having to stick with the District 3 victors and being separated from you. 

“Tick tock,” Wiress pleaded, grabbing Johanna’s shoulders. 

“Just stop,” Johanna screamed and pushed the older woman into the sand. “Just sit down!”

“Hey!” Katniss yelled, quickly advancing towards Johanna, going straight for her throat. 

“Hey, what are you doing?” Johanna immediately retaliated, shoving right back.

“Hey, hey, hey.” You instinctively grabbed Johanna and pulled her away, Peeta doing the same with Katniss, albeit less aggressively.

“I got them out for you,” she continued to shout. As you pulled her further away, you could feel her body start to calm. 

“Jo, you’re okay,” you assure calmly, loosening your grasp on her. “It’s okay.”

“I’m fine,” she said sharply and pulled her arm away from you, but you weren’t phased by her anger.

“Johanna, hey, look at me,” you coaxed her into meeting your eyes, cupping her face. “You’re okay.”

Johanna stared into your eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m okay,” she breathed, leaning her forehead against yours. 

“We’re okay,” you assured, leaning into her touch. “Now, let me clean you off.”

“She has a soft spot for you, (Y/N/N),” Finnick said, snapping you out of the memory. 

Your mind was reeling. As you thought back to the years of friendship with Johanna, you realized that they’re right, that she’s never been mad at you, that she is only soft for you.

“I gotta go,” you mumble, getting up and quickly scurrying out of the room.

“We still need to have this meeting,” Plutarch called after you, but you paid him no mind. You needed to get to Johanna.

Weaving through the underground halls towards the dormitory area, you could feel your heart pounding against your chest.

As you arrived at Johanna’s room, you took a deep breath and knocked. “Johanna?”

“It’s open,” she responded.

Pushing the door open, you were met with the sight of Johanna sitting on floor, leaning against her bed, as she fiddled with something between her fingers.

“You know–“ You hovered over her, shoving your hands in your pocket. “You missed the meeting. Coin’s pretty peeved.”

“Yeah, well she can just fuck off,” Johanna cursed, still focused on the piece of fabric in her hands, which you recognized as the scrap of embroidery you’d given her before the Quell. 

You moved to sit on the edge of the bed, a heavy silence still hanging in the air, as Johanna still had yet to really acknowledge you.

“Are you upset with me, Johanna?” you asked, selfishly wanting to confirm your suspicions.

“What? No.” Her head immediately snapped up as she finally looked at you. “Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know,” you mumbled, shrugging. 

“Well, I’m not.” She went back to playing with a stray thread on the scrap of cloth.

You nodded and another brief moment of silence passed between you before you asked, “Johanna, do you have feelings for me?”

Her eyes widened, clearly taken by surprise. “What?”

“Well, it’s just that everyone was talking about how you have a soft spot for me and that I’m the only one you never get angry with. So, I started thinking and it’s true. You’re always kind to me, even if you’re upset. 

“You’ve been there for me all these years, through everything Snow and the Games have thrown at us, and I know I can always count on you. I’ve always cherished our friendship, which is why I never said anything, but I do love you. I’m in love with you,” you confessed, ending your long-winded ramble.

Johanna remained quiet, still staring at the embroidered scrap. Pushing herself off the ground, she joined you to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Remember the day you gave me this?”

You nodded with a small hum. It was the last day you could see her before entering the arena where you would be separated. You wanted her to have a piece of you in case the worst were to happen.

“I was so angry that day,” Johanna revealed, finally looking up and meeting your eyes. “I thought this was your way of saying goodbye, that you were admitting defeat.”

“Johanna,” you trailed off, a crestfallen look on your face. 

“Let me finish,” she softly insisted. “It was the first night in the arena when I realized that that anger was actually fear. I remember watching the fallen tributes in the sky and holding my breath, praying you wouldn’t show up. I was so scared, scared I was going to lose you.”

“You didn’t lose me.” You took her hand in yours, squeezing it lightly. “I’m right here.”

“I know.” She took a deep breath and gave you a small smile. “Mostly, I was scared I wouldn’t be able to tell you how I really felt about you.”

Your lips parted, hope flooding your body.

“I love you, (Y/N),” Johanna whispered so quietly that you wouldn’t have heard her if you weren’t inches away. 

Tucking a loose hair out of your face, she glanced down at your lips. 

“Can I–“

Before she could finish her sentence, you leaned forward and kissed her. There were no sparks or fireworks like everyone says a first kiss should have. Rather, there was a sense of familiarity and comfort, as if you were all each other knew. And in a way, you were. 

Johanna was the only constant thing in your life, the only person who truly knew you as you and not some violent victor or Capitol show pony. 

Breaking apart, Johanna leaned her forehead against yours. Your eyes were still closed as you savored the feeling of her lips on your skin.

“Hey.” She caressed your cheek with the pad of her thumb, and you opened your eyes with a content sigh. 

“Hi.” 

“You know,” Johanna started, her fingers running through your hair as you dropped your head against her shoulder. “They’re right.”

“About what?” you mumbled into her shirt.

“I do have a soft spot for you,” she kissed the side of your head.

“Good.” You lifted your head, a small smile dancing on your face. “Because I have one for you too.”

[roostersgirlfriendlovesf1]

you're losing me | charles leclerc

prompt: charles has been off the past couple of weeks and all y/n wants to do is help him, but what can she do when he won't open up? it's tiring feeling alone, but it's hard to speak up. will charles finally let her in or will it be the end?

warnings: angst and sadness, but it ends up ok lol

a/n: hey guys! this is just a one part story, but i would really love some prompts. please feel free to request anything! i write for bradley bradshaw, lando norris, charles leclerc, mason mount, jake sersein, and christian pulisic. i also love using songs as inspo so pls feel free to use a song as a prompt! thanks for the support!

The past couple of weeks had been a game of if Charles would speak when he got home or not. The endless amounts of sympathy y/n gave him didn’t seem to open him up. She thought that perhaps he would let himself enjoy life over the summer break, but she doesn’t think he has even said four words to her. The past few days he had left early for runs, climbing out of bed and getting back into it without so much as a squeak of a floorboard. Nightly rituals between them had been forgotten.  This was only their third month… She thought. There were so many things left unsaid between them, things that she felt unimportant to tell him. Things she thought could be seen as coming off “too strong.” But she was extremely tired of feeling alone. She missed his arm around her as they watched the Monaco skies, she missed the smell of his hair after he showered, and she just missed the sound of his voice. Her clothes in his drawers dedicated to her started to feel misplaced. She felt like her presence started to feel like an intrusion. She was practically living with him, but it started to feel like she should be paying rent. 

y/n sat on a barstool, waiting for Charles to come back from running whatever errand he hadn’t told her about. Her head was in her hands as she stared lazily out the window, dark clouds were forming. Click. The door opened. She looked at him, urging him to speak. He looked at her, a quick glance before walking into their room. She heard the water start running in the shower. A tight feeling formed in her throat. How can he not see there’s a problem?  She placed her head in her hands and allowed herself to shed a few tears. A few minutes went by before the sound of footsteps interrupted her silence. She picked her head up. “Charlie?” She tries to get his attention. No answer. Nothing new. She’s not sure she even remembers what it sounds like when he says her name. A sigh leaves his mouth.

“Yes?”

“Where are you going?” She asked, just a simple question.

“Out to dinner.” He tied his shoes. 

Please just look at me. Please just see that there is something wrong. A brief moment of silence. “Somethings not working.” She bit her nails.

“I don’t understand.” He shook his head, dismissing her statement.

“I know you don’t.” Her brows furrowed. This can still be fixed. Everything we built can still stand. “Charles, you haven’t said four words to me since you’ve gotten home. Hell, you’ve barely talked to me for weeks. I don’t know what to do!”

“I don’t know what you're talking about.”

“You haven’t even touched me.” The room once filled with light felt cold and empty.

“Didn’t know you needed that validation.” He mumbled. 

“A hug is seen as validation? A fucking hug from someone I haven’t seen or spoken to because he won’t respond whether it’s in person or over the phone!” Just pull me into a hug now, all will be forgotten. Please just hold me. 

“I don’t have time for this right now.” Disappointment. 

“It's now or never. I’ve given you the best I have.” Tell me what to give after that. Her voice caught. She stood, feeling vulnerable in his sweatshirt and his sweatpants. Silence again. Silence that he was not willing to break. “Okay.” She nodded. “I’ll be out of here by the time you get home. I just-” She ran a hand through her hair, “I just need a bit to gather my things.” Guilt panged in her chest, the feeling of being an intruder tearing through her. She held her head high as she walked into their room, grabbing an empty box from beside the trash. 

“Y/n.” He stood in the doorframe. She willed herself to continue packing, despite her longing for his voice. “Y/n.”

“Enough!” She slammed the shirt she had started folding into the box. “Just go to dinner.”

“I didn’t fucking ask you to stay through anything!” He snapped. “I don’t need to see you or feel your embrace every time I come home from a shitty race weekend.”

“Good because it's never happening again! You won’t ever have to see me again after tonight.” The sound of thunder caused her to flinch. Charles’ face softened as he glanced out the window. 

“You can’t leave tonight.” He shook his head.

“I’ll do whatever I want.” She seethed. She kept her head down, making no eye contact. “You’ll do whatever you want tomorrow when the storm clears.” He stated. Y/n held her breath until she felt his presence dissolve. The sound of his footsteps led her to believe he went to his sim room. She shut the door quietly before breaking down. Her face felt burning hot as she rapidly shoved clothes into a random backpack. She frantically tried to collect herself before stepping back into the living room. She held a box in her arms as she struggled to open the apartment door. Rain poured as she sheltered under the overhang of the building. Her heart pounded, all she wanted to do was get out of his way. Y/n made a run for her car and quickly opened the trunk, shoving the box inside before slamming it closed and heading back inside. The lighting of the apartment was dark as the natural lighting was miniscule. Charles had moved to the couch, a solemn look in his eyes as he scrolled on his phone. He glanced up to see y/n drenched in rain. “Mon coeur…” He watched her as she ignored him and kept walking back to their room. He followed her, attempting to talk, but was quickly denied as she reached their bathroom and quickly locked the door. 

Y/n peeled off the wet clothes and glanced at herself in the mirror. A quick rush of feeling came back to her as she let out a sob, steadying herself on the sink counter. The coldness of the rain washed off of her as she bathed in the warmth of the shower, although the tears never ceased to flow. How does she pick up her life after this? The relationship was so public, that doesn’t just fizzle out. 

She walked into the bedroom, towel wrapped around her. Charles was sitting at the foot of the bed, feet planted, head in hands. She quietly grabbed her undergarments, a shirt, and a pair of sleep shorts from the bag she had packed earlier and retreated back into the bathroom. She never did that. Charles thought. She never hid herself away instead of doing something so intimate as changing her clothes in front of him. She changed in the bathroom and washed her face. Y/n opened the bathroom door slowly and noticed Charles in the same position. “I’m so embarrassed.” He spoke. 

“Now you talk…” She whispered. 

“I’m so fucking emberassed with myself I can’t stand it.” He held the end of the sleeves of his sweater in his hands. “I know I don’t deserve you and I know I’ve treated you horribly. There’s no excuse.” He kept his composure. “My team is just so-so aggravating and for a while I viewed you as my escape from all that, but the more interested in me you got and the more you wanted to know the more I grew embarrassed. I’m embarrassed with my performance in the car and I’m embarrassed for you to see that I’m undeserving of you. I never wanted to tear you down with me though.”

Her mouth opened to speak, but her body moved first. She sat down next to him and pulled him into a hug. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“Me too.” She kissed the side of his face.

“I love you.” He brushed the wet hair off of her face. “And I really don’t want you to leave.”

[masonmiamor]

grey skies and memories of you - - mason mount x reader.

summary: after 8 months of no contact you’re surprised to find and even talk with him. but every small details from the past brings you there today. just the two of you still hopelessly inlove.

request are open! feel free to send and feedback is appreciated 🫶🏻 not proofreaded!

You feel a gentle hand across your bare back, you look up startled only to be met with familiar brown eyes. Your hand that was currently set below your chin was now resting on the brown counter, looking with wide eyes at Mason. His gaze softened… his hand still remained on your back. “I knew it was you… I had to come to look just to be sure… your shorter hair was throwing me off…” he commented. You are still speechless since it was over 8 months since you last spoke to him.

Mason tried, hell, he was doing anything just to get a simple text back from you, but you gave in nothing. He was confused, he wanted to remain friends after the friendship you held before the relationship, especially after remaining on a good note. He did have to tell himself he did break things off with you.

“What are you doing here?” you finally spoke watching as he took the seat beside you. “I'm here with the lads, they're over there,” he pointed at the corner, you curiously turned your head and observed the chanty teammates of his simply partying. You turned your head back and looked down at your hands humming. “We're here to welcome the new players and just enjoy our time off,” he stated.

“Why the short hair?” he asked after a few seconds of silence. “Oh-uhm- Just wanted something newer, you know?” you shrug your shoulder trying to avoid the intimate eye contact he always held. But what you said were lies… it was more of a drunken decision. You were nervous already, but that would be the cherry on top. He nodded, Mason, desperately just wanting to talk to you about anything, even if it was those silly puns you used to say.

“Two cranberry tequilas please,” Mason yelled loudly to the bartender, holding up two fingers. “I'm hoping that is still your favorite?” he said looking over at you who stared out into the space infront. “Yes. Hasn't changed,” you chuckled. Mason nodded, his leg beginning to bounce. “Stop… you're going to make me more nervous,” you leaned over after a minute, placing your hand on his thigh and finally looking into his eyes. His brown eyes still holding the desire and love for you.

“Y/n…” he said so delicately his right hand reaching over and rubbing your cheek. “What are you doing here?” you ask again. He shakes his head, Mason is not even sure why he was still sitting here. “I don't know to talk I guess?” he offers a sad smile and shrugs his shoulder, his hand coming down from your cheek.

“Just talk?”

“Maybe reminisce old times? Talk about how we've been? Anything so that I can hear your voice again…” Mason finds himself admitting to you. You laugh shaking your head, “There's that smile,” Mason compliments, bringing a smile and blush to your face. The bartender brings both drinks, accepting your card before Mason could pull his out. A little banter of course but it was just drinks.

“To talking or wherever we were,” you say, the two of you raise your glasses and clink them together.

~~~~~

After two more cranberry tequilas, two glasses of wine, and some shots, you sure were feeling the effect, Mason a bit too. You quietly paid attention to him talking mostly about his family, his time at Chelsea so far, and a lads' trip after the world cup. He could feel his heart beat faster anytime you smiled and locked eyes with him while talking. The feelings and love are still there.

You wanted to so badly get closer to him but you knew where your self-respect and loyalty layed. A lot changed in 8 months for both of you, and you weren't ready to throw the barrier you built after the breakup. You swirl the black straw around the almost empty glass, watching how the ice slowly melts and hearing it click against the glass. You laugh and throw your head back a bit as you thought of an old memory.

“Do you remember that Turks and Caicos trip we took? Where we accidentally fell asleep at the beach during the sunrise after a night out and woke up sunburnt?” you snort. Mason laughs thinking back to how you had to walk around with a handprint on your leg. “Oh my god! The little kid that found us?” he adds, making you laugh harder.

“I remember that trip fairly well…” Mason says, his brows drawing in together but a small smile still present. “I do too. I can't forget it. Any part of it…” you say, your mind immediately goes back to the sunset dinner where he pulled out a promise ring, promising that one day you’d get married and this ring would be on the necklace you wear with his initial.

“Do you still have it?” he asks carefully, looking at you. You nod, and he watches as you sit up straight and pull your necklace out of your shirt. “I do. I have it here at all times. Im afraid ill misplace it in my flat,” you joke. “Can I?” he points to your necklace wanting to take a closer look, you nod, and his finger reaches up and observes the small carved letters inside and the jewels around the band.

You begin to overthink, and begin to ramble even stutter, “If you want to have it back, I completely understand-”. Mason shakes his head while his eyes close, “No no, it's okay love. I know and trust it's in good hands. Plus it would just be a reminder to me that you aren't mine anymore…”

His. Mine. You aren’t his anymore. And that’s the sad reality of it.

“Do you ever think about us? You know what we used to have?” you ask, leaning your head on the propped arm on the counter. He licks his lips and nods admittedly, “All the time. And let me tell you it hurts like hell.”

You remain quiet because part of you knows how you haven't done anything to prove you feel the same way he does. His fists gently bangs the table a couple of time, before resting the palm over the smooth surface. “How come you never responded to any of my calls or texts?” she says upset, almost even slightly angry as his voice raises a bit. Mason brings a hand to his hair running his fingers through it.

“Mason we needed time apart. I needed time apart not just from you but from everyone and everything around me. I didn't respond to you because it hurt Mason, it hurt me so much because you broke things off between us. A call or text wasn't going to fix things and especially how I felt?” you said trying to defend yourself, your voice coming off shaky.

You felt more sober as you tried to fight back the lump and tears that wanted to form. “You gave up on us so quick Mase…” you croak feeling a tear run down your cheek. “One second we were together on your couch or our picnics and then suddenly I'm packing up my stuff from your house…”

“Do you not know how hard that is to process? To lose the one person who promised me who would never leave?” you say with a sad smile. “The person who was always there to hug me after a tough day? Bring me a coffee to bed in the morning when I stayed over? The person who valued me for who I was? Never judged or went behind my back?”

Mason frowned, realizing how just terribly he hurt you. “You left me when I most needed you! How do you think I felt to see a couple of weeks later that you moved on?” you cry out, trying to get unanswered questions answered so you could maybe finally move on.

“I haven’t moved on! I can’t even try because they would never love me as you did, and it's hard to love someone who isn't you Y/n! Who doesn't treat me the same way as you…” he cries out. “Fuck Y/n! I regret it every single day. I live with the constant guilt every day. Although you’re gone, your image is still trapped inside my head!”

“I can’t even sleep because every breath I took was yours next to mine. I get it, I know I fucked up-”

“Our story ended, our fairytale had an end to it. All of our promises and memories ended in nothing. Do you want me to sit here and tell you about how I miss you so deeply? That anytime I hear your name brought up I panic? That when they put our song I immediately think and remember of you? There! Easier said than done!” you gulp, his now tear-stained face staring at you.

He suddenly becomes aware of your movements, you wiping your tears away, how you pay the bartender, pick your hand wallet up, and put on your coat. His anxiety raises as he thinks he's about to lose you again for good. “Y/n! You can’t just leave,” he yells out loud knowing it won't change your mind.

“Watch me.”

And he does, watching you as you pass through dancing bodies to the doors in front, your figure slowly disappearing as you took a right turn. He sighs deeply, running a hand through his hair tugging the ends, his chest feeling heavier than before, he looks over to his left once more to see if he was just dreaming things but all he sees is an empty seat and the bartender staring at him as he wipes off the cups left behind.

Mason hoped things went a different direction when he had approached you. He knew it wouldn’t be easy but he had to at least try. But all he feels now is stupidity, thinking that he actually listened to a drunk Ben and did what he did. He didn’t want to seem rude, especially to the newest teammates that had arrived, so he swallows down the pain and goes to say goodbye.

“I'm headed out. I’ll see you guys next week?” he says bro hugging everyone, but Kai pulls him aside when he notices his friend's mood and body language. “I understand it’s none of my business, but what happened? You don’t look okay…” the german said. Mason shook his head trying to get rid of your memory.

“It was going great! It felt so real to be back with her. But things took a turn and then we slightly argued and she left. Kai, I feel like an idiot! This would’ve never happened if I didn’t did what I did… She probably doesn’t even trust me, or even worse in my eyes, has a bit of love for me inside…”

“Listen, I'm not so good at this but give it more time. It’s going to hurt more than already but it’s worth it if in the end it means you’ll be with her again. That’s if the two of you are willing to try… Giver her the needed space for right now and then go to her again. Prove to her that you’re still in love with her,” Kai says seriously, his hand resting on Mason’s shoulder.

“She says I gave up on her, on us, so quick…” whispers Mason. Kai shakes his head understandably, “I get that. Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. What matters right now is trying to earn her back.”

“You sure give better advice than Chilly,” Mason teases, and laughs when Kai rolls his eyes. “Cmon, I'll drop you off since you have alcohol in your system. I could smell it a mile away,” now it’s Kai’s turn to tease laughing when Mason laughs loudly.

~~~~~

“Yes if there are 10 let it and make it be 100 more… Derek words not mine… He asked for them… No but… Well you might… Of course! I’ll be sure to be in contact with you… Okay talk soon, take care bye,” you groaned at the last call knowing it was the reason for the now present headache.

The last two weeks are taking a toll on you since you haven't taken a single day off. Part of the reasoning is with money and the second as a reminder that if you’re left alone your thoughts go running back to him… “Y/n! Derek needs you to do more calls! Come to the front office when you’re done!” yells a front receptionist making you roll your eyes. You click on a button on the phone and speak loudly, “On my way down.”

And that’s how the rest of the evening was. Taking calls, making dates for meetings, working on three different presentations, and making sure other staff were aware of the upcoming work. Your stomach grumbled as a reminder you had not ate but you ignored it until you clocked off of work.

On your way back home you went grocery shopping, even picking out a bouquet of flowers, and picking up takeout as you weren’t in the mood to cook. After arriving home you placed the items in their correct spots and drank water. You ate Chinese food, sitting on the couch watching TV. Your doorbell rang so you stood up and opened the door, only to be met with Mason who had his arm propped against the doorway.

“We weren’t done talking just yet Y/n…”

small cliffhanger… oops? 🙈

[hischierswhore]

right where you left me

“you left me no choice but to stay here forever”

pairing: Mason Mount x Reader

TW: cursing // asshole mason (again) // if i missed anything pls lmk

A/N: this is part 3 of a multi part mini-series!!! each part will be inspired by a song, so this one is inspired by "right where you left me" by Taylor Swift. i highly suggest listening to it as you read :)

read part 2 here

You woke up with a combination of excitement & nervousness spreading through your stomach. You spent the majority of your day thinking about what you were going to say to Mason, and how you were going to bring it up.

You wanted to ask why he didn’t show up to your birthday party. You wanted to know why he didn’t call you the day after like he said he would. You wanted to know why he was being so distant with you.

What changed? Why was he not putting in the effort he used to?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You began getting ready for your dinner with Mason. You decided that you would start with the topic of your birthday party and then lean into your questions as to why he didn’t show.

You wore a cute top & skirt. It wasn’t too formal, but it wasn’t too casual either. Around 6pm, you set out on your drive to the restaurant.

When you arrived, you saw Mason sitting at a booth and he raced to the entrance of the restaurant to greet you. He led you to your table, a glass of water already set on your side of the table to drink.

The table was dimly lit, a small candle sitting at the edge of the table being the only source of light in the area. It was a rather romantic setting. You & Mason hadn’t been on a romantic outing in a few weeks.

You made yourself comfortable, removing your jacket and situating your bag to your side. You looked up at Mason and saw that he was lost in thought, blankly staring at the white cloth on the table.

“Everything okay, Mase?” Your voice pulled Mason from his thoughts, his attention immediately turning to you.

“Oh yeah. All’s good” He flashed you a smile, but you sensed something was wrong.

“How was your birthday? Ben & Christian told me it was eventful”

“It was okay. Would’ve been better if you were there but we can’t go back and change that, can we?” You shrugged your shoulders.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n. I was running late and then traffic was just terrible so by the time I actually got into the city, it was too late. Ben & Christian told me that the party had ended”

“You weren’t in the city? I thought you had training that day?” You saw Mason’s eyes go wide at your words: he’d fucked up.

“Uhm…” You could see the gears turning in his head as he tried to come up with a cover up.

“I’ll just be honest: this isn’t working” He gestured between the pair of you.

“Well no shit, Mason. You’ve been distant lately. Hell, you didn’t even show up to your girlfriend’s birthday party, and now you’re making excuses for your absence. So be honest with me, where were you?” Mason sighed as he held his hands to his face.

“I was with someone. A woman. I lost track of time and by the time I made it to the city, it was far too late. I drove to my own house and then called you” He could see the light in your eyes suddenly dim.

“You what?”

“I’ve been seeing another woman, Y/n…” All you could do was stare at him as he spoke. It felt like time stopped at that moment.

Silence filled the air between you both, tensions high as you both waited for the other to speak.

“How long?” Your voice was broken and barely understandable.

“2 months” He mumbled as your mouth fell into an ‘o’ shape.

You swear you heard your heart break at that moment, the sound of glass shattering being the only sound you could hear that moment. Your heart was fragile, and he just single-handedly broke it, watching as the glass shards of your heart scattered across the table.

“What we once had isn’t there anymore, and it hasn’t been for a while now” He scanned your eyes to find any sort of emotion, but there was none. You were numb, still thinking about his initial statement as you stared at the glass containing your water in front of you.

“So you’ve been with another woman while we were still together?” You were still dumbfounded by his statement.

“Before you ask, I used protection, so there’s nothing to worry about” You hadn’t even thought that far. You simply nodded.

“Yea, because telling me that using protection while fucking another woman is so helpful right now. Do you know how embarrassed I was infront of my friends & family that my own boyfriend didn’t show up to my birthday? I had a breakdown, Mason. Your friends were there. They had to help me through it because you couldn’t be bothered to show up, seeing as you were balls deep in another woman” Mascara stained your cheeks as you spoke, your voice slightly cracking.

“I’m really sorry, Y/n” Mason couldn’t find any other words to say.

“If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done it repeatedly. You wouldn’t have done it at all, nonetheless on my birthday. Were you even planning on telling me?”

“Eventually…”

“So what? Is this just a spur of the moment thing or do you actually feel anything for her?” Mason sighed.

“I feel a connection with her, Y/n. Something similar to what I felt at the start of us. I haven’t felt a spark between you & I as of late, and I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have. I’m so sorry Y/n” And with that, Mason got up and left.

You stared at him as he walked away, your heart breaking into a million pieces. You watched as he left the building entirely, leaving you in the corner booth all alone. The dim lighting reflecting onto your tear stained face brought attention to you.

You didn’t even get the opportunity to say anything else. You heard the other diners whisper amongst themselves, murmurs of “what a sad sight” & “poor girl” were heard as they looked in your direction.

You felt frozen, you couldn’t move even if you wanted to. You were beyond embarrassed, your face burning as you felt all eyes on you. You wanted to scream and cry simultaneously.

Eventually you found the courage to get up from the booth and made your way out of the restaurant before driving back to your apartment.

You washed your face of the ruined makeup you had applied only an hour before, letting your hair down before changing into some sweatpants & a t-shirt. You sobbed into your pillow once you actually got into bed.

You may have physically left the restaurant, but emotionally you were still there, sitting cross-legged in the dim light as you relived and replayed that heart shattering moment over & over again in your head.

You didn't know how to move on from this moment, how to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart and start again, if you even could start again.

You were right where he left you,

and you would be forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist

@ithinkimokeei @myheartgoesvroom @mounthings @tall-tanned-tattoo @itsnotgray @alwaysclassyeagle @charlewiss @mortirolo @fallingin20 @chelseagirl98 @lovelynikol16 @username-envy @swimmingismywholelife @pulisicsgirl @notsoattractivearenti @pulisichavertz @fernandezology @bracedes @neverinadream @thoseboysinblue @winterbarnesblog @chaotic-taco-collector-blog

[enemiestolovershoe]

Breaking Point

Sam Golbach x fem!reader

Summary: Y/N is heartbroken after catching her boyfriend cheating. She finds unexpected comfort in her roommate and enemy Sam.

Warnings: Use of y/n, not proofread, cheating (I don’t support cheating your a dickhead if you do), fighting

Words: 4900

Colby zipped up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder as Y/N stood by the front door, leaning against the frame. His departure felt heavier than usual; maybe it was the nerves gnawing at her gut, or maybe it was the slight unease she felt about being left alone with Sam for the weekend. Colby, her best friend and roommate, had always been her safe place in the chaos that was their shared apartment.

"You sure you're going to be okay while I'm gone?" Colby asked, his usual easygoing smile softening with concern.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Y/N reassured him, though she wasn't sure she fully believed it. Between Mason’s growing jealousy and the constant friction with Sam, things hadn’t exactly been peaceful lately.

Just as Colby pulled her into a hug, her phone vibrated in her pocket. She glanced at the screen: Mason. She ignored the call, deciding to focus on saying goodbye to Colby.

"Call me if anything happens, okay?" Colby added as he opened the door, giving her one last look.

"I will. Have fun," she replied with a forced smile, watching him walk down the hallway. The door clicked shut, leaving an empty silence behind.

With a sigh, Y/N pulled out her phone and hit the call-back button. The phone barely rang twice before Mason picked up, his voice already laced with irritation.

“Why didn’t you pick up the first time I called?” Mason demanded.

“I was saying goodbye to Colby, he’s leaving town for the weekend,” Y/N explained, trying to keep her voice calm, but she could feel the tension already creeping in.

“You didn’t even think to check your phone? What if it was important?” he snapped.

Y/N’s heart sank. “Mason, it was literally two minutes. I’m calling you back now, aren’t I?”

“I’m sick of this, Y/N. Every time I call, it’s like you’ve got something better to do. I bet if it were Colby calling, you’d answer immediately!”

Her throat tightened as the familiar feeling of frustration bubbled up. "Why are you making this about Colby? He’s my best friend, you know that.”

"Yeah, well, it sure feels like he's more important than me sometimes," Mason spat. "And don't even get me started on the fact that you live with Sam. I don't like it, Y/N. I don’t like it at all."

As his voice grew louder, Y/N felt the tears start to well up in her eyes. Her fingers clenched around the phone as she struggled to hold back the sob that threatened to escape. She was used to these arguments, but today it was hitting harder than usual.

Just as she started to reply, the door to the living room creaked open, and Sam strolled in, glancing at her tear-streaked face. His usual smirk flickered, and he raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why the hell are you crying now?” Sam remarked, his voice dripping with sarcasm but lacking its usual bite. He had noticed something was wrong, but his defenses kicked in, hiding the small amount of concern he actually felt.

Mason, hearing Sam’s voice through the phone, erupted. “Is that Sam? He’s in your room right now? What the hell, Y/N?! I told you I didn’t want him around!”

Y/N could barely get a word in. “Mason, I—”

“I swear to God, Y/N if I find out you’ve been hanging out with him—”

“Nothing’s happening!” she shouted back, her voice cracking under the strain. "He's just—he’s just being a jerk like always, alright? Calm down."

Sam watched her, his expression unreadable, but something in his eyes softened ever so slightly. He didn’t like Mason; he never had. It wasn’t just because of the constant fights Y/N had to endure. It was because Mason had a way of making her feel small, and even though Sam pretended to hate her, seeing her this upset bothered him more than he’d admit.

“Don’t cry over that loser,” Sam muttered under his breath, more to himself than to her.

But Mason heard him. “What did he just say?!” Mason roared through the phone, his voice practically shaking with rage.

Y/N winced, feeling the pressure closing in on all sides. “Mason, please—”

“I’m done talking to you right now, Y/N. Figure out your priorities. Call me when you do.” He hung up without waiting for her to respond.

The silence that followed was deafening. Y/N dropped the phone onto the couch, rubbing her temples as the tears finally spilled over.

Sam shifted uncomfortably, his sarcastic façade faltering. He wasn’t great with feelings, especially hers, but even he couldn’t ignore the mess Mason had left in his wake. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly before sitting down on the arm of the couch.

“Look… not that I care,” he began, his voice still carrying a hint of his usual attitude, “but Mason’s a real piece of work. Why are you with him again?”

Y/N shot him a glare through her tears. “Not the time, Sam.”

He raised his hands in mock surrender. “Hey, I’m just saying. If the guy makes you cry this much, maybe he’s not worth it.”

She opened her mouth to snap back, but the fight left her before she could get the words out. Instead, she sighed, wiping her face. “You wouldn’t get it.”

Sam shrugged. “Maybe not. But I’m still right.”

A few hours later, Y/N and Sam stood on opposite sides of the living room, getting ready to head to the party they’d both been invited to. Colby had suggested they go together, knowing that Y/N wouldn’t want to stay cooped up in the apartment all weekend, and Sam had reluctantly agreed, though it meant having to spend time with her.

“You sure you’re not gonna break down and cry again?” Sam asked as they walked toward the front door, his voice dripping with his usual sarcasm.

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Are you sure you’re not going to make a complete ass of yourself, like usual?”

“Not making any promises,” he shot back with a smirk.

They both left the apartment, bickering the entire way to the party. Despite the friction, Y/N found that the sharpness in their exchanges felt oddly… familiar. Almost like a distraction from everything that had happened earlier. A distraction she welcomed, even if it came from Sam.

When they arrived at the house, the music was blaring, and people were already spilling out onto the lawn. Y/N glanced around nervously, hoping she wouldn’t run into Mason, or worse, see him with someone else.

Sam caught her hesitation and nudged her with his elbow. “Relax. You’re not here for him. You’re here to have a good time.”

She gave him a skeptical look. “Since when do you care if I have a good time?”

He shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I don’t. But I don’t want you crying all over me again either.”

Y/N laughed despite herself, shaking her head. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”

“And you’re predictable,” he shot back, though the edges of his smirk softened into something almost… friendly.

For the rest of the night, they kept up their usual banter, but underneath it, there was something different. Maybe it was the shared experience of the earlier fight, or maybe it was just that for once, they weren’t completely at odds. Whatever it was, Y/N found herself oddly grateful for Sam’s presence.

The party buzzed around them, people dancing, laughing, and shouting over the loud music. Y/N stuck close to the kitchen, clutching a drink Sam had poured for her. She wasn't drinking to get drunk—just enough to dull the edge of everything that had happened earlier with Mason.

Sam, as always, stood nearby, throwing casual insults her way, though they seemed to have lost some of their sharpness. He’d made it clear he wasn’t here to babysit her, but there was no denying he kept an eye on her. Despite their banter, the night had almost settled into something tolerable—until Y/N spotted Mason.

Her heart sank, her stomach twisting in knots as she saw him across the room. He was with some of his friends, holding a drink and talking like nothing had happened. His eyes flickered toward her, and for a moment, their gazes locked. Then his expression darkened.

Here we go.

Mason made his way toward her, his strides purposeful, and before she could brace herself, he was standing in front of her. His eyes scanned her face before flicking to Sam, who was only a few feet away.

"Seriously? You're here with him?" Mason growled, his voice low but seething with anger.

Y/N tensed, glancing at Sam, who had immediately noticed Mason's approach and was now watching with a carefully neutral expression.

"It’s a party, Mason. Colby’s out of town, and Sam—"

"Sam what?" Mason interrupted, his voice rising now, attracting some attention from people nearby. "You think it’s cool to just show up here with him after what happened earlier? Are you trying to piss me off?"

Y/N felt the heat rising in her chest. She hadn’t done anything wrong. Mason had no right to be angry, not after the way he’d spoken to her earlier. “I’m not trying to do anything, Mason. I came here to have a good time, just like everyone else.”

"With Sam," Mason spat, venom dripping from his words.

"Yeah, with Sam!" Y/N snapped back, unable to hold it in any longer. "Because you weren’t exactly being supportive, were you? You don’t get to tell me who I can hang out with, especially when all you do is yell at me.”

Sam raised an eyebrow but stayed silent, letting the fight unfold without interjecting—though Y/N could tell by the way his jaw tightened that he was ready to step in if things escalated further.

"Y/N, you’re unbelievable," Mason growled, his voice now loud enough to draw stares from people around them. "First Colby, now Sam? Are you trying to make me look like an idiot?"

"You're doing a great job of that all by yourself," Y/N shot back, feeling her hands clench into fists. "Stop making this about them. This is about us, Mason. You’re jealous of everyone and everything, and I’m tired of it!"

Sam shifted his weight beside her as if getting ready for whatever might come next. Mason, his face red with frustration, took a step toward her, his fists clenched at his sides.

"You know what? I don’t have to deal with this," Mason finally snapped, throwing his drink down. “You’re impossible.”

"Good. Walk away," Y/N said bitterly, her voice shaky but firm. "It’s what you’re good at."

Mason glared at her for a moment, his eyes filled with rage, before he turned sharply on his heel and stormed off, shoving his way through the crowd.

Y/N stood frozen for a second, her chest heaving as she tried to calm down. The loud music seemed distant as the argument replayed in her head. It wasn’t like she hadn’t fought with Mason before, but this time… this time felt different.

"You good?" Sam’s voice cut through the noise, and she realized he had moved closer, his face unreadable.

She nodded, though her heart still pounded in her chest. “Yeah. Just… need a minute.”

He gave her a long look before shrugging. “Take your time. I’ll be around.”

Y/N watched as Sam moved back toward the kitchen, his usual snarky demeanor softened. She sighed and took a sip of her drink, the bitter liquid doing nothing to ease the tension in her body. She stayed near the edge of the room, trying to shake off the fight with Mason, but her mind was still buzzing.

As the night wore on, she couldn’t help but glance around the party, wondering where Mason had disappeared. She wasn’t looking for another confrontation—if anything, she was hoping he’d just left.

Eventually, Y/N felt the need to step away from the crowd and headed toward the back of the house to find the bathroom. She pushed through a small group of people gathered in the hallway, finally spotting the door to the bathroom. As she reached for the handle, she froze.

Through the thin door, she heard the unmistakable sound of someone inside. Giggling. Moaning.

Her stomach twisted, a sinking feeling washing over her. She hesitated for a second, but something inside her urged her to push the door open just a crack.

Her breath caught in her throat.

There, on the counter, was Mason—her Mason—his hands gripping the hips of another girl, his face buried against her neck as he moved against her. The sight was unmistakable. The sounds, the movements… it was real. All of it.

Y/N’s heart shattered in an instant. Her throat felt tight like she couldn’t breathe, and for a moment, she just stood there, paralyzed, watching the person she had spent so much of herself on completely betray her. The girl was too busy moaning Mason’s name to notice Y/N standing there, but Mason’s eyes suddenly flicked toward the door. They locked with hers, and for a split second, a flash of guilt crossed his face.

“Y/N—” he started, but she didn’t wait for an explanation. She slammed the door shut, her hands shaking violently.

Her breath came in shallow gasps as she stumbled back into the hallway, her mind reeling. She wanted to scream, cry, run—anything to get away from what she had just seen. But her body was frozen in shock.

She turned on her heel and moved as quickly as she could back through the party, her vision blurred with unshed tears. She needed to get out of there. She needed air.

She wasn’t sure how far she had gotten before someone grabbed her arm. Startled, she spun around to see Sam, his expression no longer snarky, no longer indifferent. His eyes were filled with concern.

“What the hell happened?” he asked, his voice low but serious. He had never seen her like this before.

Y/N opened her mouth to respond, but no words came. The tears finally spilled over, and she could feel herself breaking down.

Without thinking, she grabbed his hand. She didn’t care about their usual dynamic. She didn’t care about the fact that they were supposed to hate each other. Right now, she just needed someone.

Sam’s grip on Y/N’s arm tightened slightly, sensing that something had gone horribly wrong. He wasn’t used to seeing her like this—completely unraveling in front of him. His usual sarcastic remarks and biting comebacks evaporated, replaced with genuine concern.

“Y/N, hey,” he said softly, his voice losing its usual edge. “What the hell happened?”

She couldn’t answer. The words were stuck in her throat, tangled with the overwhelming weight of the betrayal she’d just witnessed. Her vision blurred, and before she could stop it, her knees buckled. Sam’s reflexes kicked in, and he caught her before she hit the ground, pulling her into him without hesitation.

His arms wrapped around her, firm but gentle, and for the first time in what felt like forever, Y/N didn’t care about keeping it together. She didn’t care that Sam was supposed to be her enemy, the guy who always seemed to delight in pushing her buttons. At that moment, all that mattered was that someone was there. Someone who, despite all the snark and sarcasm, was holding her together when she felt like falling apart.

Sam didn’t say anything at first, just held her tightly as she buried her face in his chest. He could feel her shaking, her breaths coming in short, uneven gasps. It was as if the weight of everything had finally crashed down on her, and Sam, despite his reputation for being emotionally distant, wasn’t going to let her fall.

After a few minutes, her sobs quieted, and her breathing steadied, though her grip on him remained tight. Sam gently rubbed her back, his touch uncharacteristically soft.

“Y/N,” he said quietly, his voice low and soothing. “What happened? Talk to me.”

Her throat felt raw, but she knew she had to say something. She slowly pulled back, though she couldn’t bring herself to fully let go. Her hands clung to his shirt, and she kept her head down, trying to gather the strength to explain.

“Mason,” she finally whispered, her voice hoarse. “I… I found him. He was with someone else… in the bathroom.”

The words hung in the air, and she could feel Sam tense beneath her. He didn’t say anything at first, but his jaw clenched, and his arms tightened around her just slightly, as if he could somehow shield her from the pain she was feeling.

Y/N wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, though the tears kept coming. “I… I walked in, Sam. I saw him—he was with some other girl. I don’t even know who she was. He just… he just looked at me like—like I was nothing.”

Her voice broke again, and she choked back another sob, but this time, Sam didn’t hesitate. He pulled her back into his chest, his hand coming up to cradle the back of her head as she cried against him.

“That piece of shit,” Sam muttered under his breath, though his anger wasn’t directed at her. “Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

Y/N’s breath hitched as she tried to calm herself down, but the pain was too raw, too fresh. “I don’t know what to do, Sam,” she whispered. “I—he just… how could he do that?”

Sam let out a deep breath, and for a moment, he just held her, his thumb gently stroking the back of her head. It was strange, this tenderness coming from him. It wasn’t something she’d ever expected. Yet here he was, being everything she needed in this moment—steady, quiet, and kind.

“You don’t have to do anything right now,” Sam said softly. “You don’t have to think about him, or what happens next. Just… just let yourself feel this. And I’m here, okay?”

His voice, usually full of sarcasm and sharp edges, was uncharacteristically soft. Y/N blinked up at him, her face still wet with tears, and for the first time that night, she felt the tiniest flicker of relief. Sam’s presence, so steady and solid, gave her something to cling to, something to keep her from drowning in her emotions.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “You’re supposed to hate me.”

Sam huffed out a quiet laugh, though there was no humor in it. “Yeah, well… maybe I’m not as much of an asshole as you think.”

Y/N couldn’t help but give a small, shaky smile through her tears. She leaned her head against his chest again, letting the steady beat of his heart calm her. Sam’s arms remained around her, not pulling away, not rushing her.

After a few moments of silence, Sam spoke again, his voice low and careful. “Look… I know we’ve had our differences—hell, we’ve spent more time fighting than anything else—but seeing you like this…” He paused, his hand gently resting on her back. “I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

Y/N looked up at him, surprised by the sincerity in his voice. His usual smirk was gone, replaced with something softer, something real. She hadn’t expected this from him, but maybe… maybe she’d misjudged him.

“Thanks,” she whispered, her voice still shaky, but there was warmth behind it. “For not being an asshole… just this once.”

Sam chuckled, his eyes glinting with a hint of his usual humor. “Don’t get used to it.”

She smiled, a real one this time, though it was small and fragile. For a moment, they just stood there, holding onto each other, the party continuing in the background as if nothing had changed. But for Y/N, everything felt different. The pain of Mason’s betrayal was still there, sharp and cutting, but Sam’s presence was like a balm, soothing the raw edges of her heart.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Sam asked after a while, his voice low but steady. “We don’t have to stay. I’ll take you home.”

Y/N nodded the idea of leaving this place—leaving the memory of what she’d just seen behind—feeling like the only thing that made sense. She didn’t want to be here anymore, surrounded by people and noise, while her heart ached.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “Let’s go.”

Sam pulled back slightly, just enough to take her hand, and led her toward the door. His grip was firm but gentle, and for the first time that night, Y/N felt like she wasn’t walking through this nightmare alone.

As they stepped outside into the cool night air, Y/N took a deep breath, the fresh air filling her lungs. The weight of what she’d seen, what she’d felt, was still there, but somehow, it didn’t feel quite as suffocating.

Sam walked beside her in silence for a few moments before he glanced over at her. “You okay?” he asked, his voice still soft.

Y/N nodded, her hand still holding onto his. “I will be.”

As they arrived back at the house, the cool night air had already started to settle into Y/N’s skin, but the weight of everything she’d seen and felt still clung to her like a heavy blanket. Sam was quiet beside her, unlocking the door and stepping aside to let her in first. The house was dimly lit, eerily quiet compared to the noise and chaos of the party they’d just left behind.

“Sit down on the couch,” Sam said gently, his voice steady but soft. “I’ll make you some tea.”

Y/N didn’t argue. She felt numb, her limbs heavy as she sank into the soft cushions of the couch, curling her legs underneath her. The exhaustion from the emotional rollercoaster she’d been on all night was starting to hit her, but she wasn’t sure she could sleep. The image of Mason with that other girl in the bathroom played on a loop in her mind, each time sending a fresh wave of pain through her chest.

In the kitchen, she could hear Sam moving around—grabbing mugs, and boiling water. It was strangely comforting, the way he moved with quiet purpose, no longer the sarcastic, distant guy she’d been at odds with for so long. This Sam, the one who was making her tea and keeping a close eye on her, was a side of him she hadn’t seen before. And despite everything, she was grateful for it.

A few minutes later, Sam returned with two mugs of steaming tea. He placed one gently in front of her on the coffee table and sat down next to her, not too close but close enough that she could feel the warmth of his presence.

He leaned back, his posture relaxed but his eyes watching her carefully. “Do you… want me to stay?” he asked after a pause, his voice low. “I can leave if you’d rather be alone.”

Y/N’s heart skipped at his offer, but the truth was, that the idea of being alone in this moment felt unbearable. She didn’t want to sit in the dark with nothing but her thoughts and the crushing weight of what had happened. She needed him here, even if she couldn’t fully explain why.

“Can you stay?” she asked quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Sam didn’t hesitate. “Yeah. I’ll stay.”

He shifted on the couch, getting more comfortable as he settled in beside her. They both sipped their tea in silence for a few minutes, the warm liquid soothing but not enough to numb the ache in her chest. She appreciated the quiet, the way Sam wasn’t trying to force conversation or make light of the situation. He was just there, and for once, that was exactly what she needed.

But the silence gave way to her thoughts, and before long, the flood of emotions became too much to hold in. Y/N set her tea down on the table and wrapped her arms around her knees, pulling them up to her chest. She could feel the tears starting to build again, the lump in her throat growing until she couldn’t swallow it down any longer.

And then, she broke.

The sobs came suddenly, shaking her whole body as she buried her face in her hands, her shoulders trembling with the force of it all. It felt like everything she’d been holding back since the moment she’d walked into that bathroom came crashing down, overwhelming her all at once.

Sam was quick to react, moving closer without hesitation. His arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her into him, his hand resting on her back as he gently guided her head to his chest.

“Hey, hey,” he murmured, his voice soft but steady. “It’s okay. Just let it out.”

Y/N clung to him, her fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt as the tears flowed freely. She couldn’t stop the sobs, couldn’t control the wave of emotions that came pouring out of her. Sam held her tightly, his presence solid and warm, his hand rubbing slow circles on her back in an attempt to calm her down.

“Shhh,” he whispered, his voice soothing as he leaned his head down slightly, his chin resting against the top of her head. “It’s gonna be alright, Y/N. I promise. You’re gonna be alright.”

His words, though simple, were like a lifeline, anchoring her in the storm of emotions swirling inside her. The steady rhythm of his voice, the way he held her without judgment or hesitation, made her feel safer than she had in hours.

“I don’t know how to do this,” she cried, her words muffled against his chest. “I don’t know how to deal with it. It hurts so much, Sam.”

“I know,” he said softly, his voice filled with quiet empathy. “I know it does. But you don’t have to deal with it all right now. You don’t have to figure everything out tonight.”

Y/N tightened her grip on him, her tears soaking through his shirt, but Sam didn’t seem to mind. He just held her closer, his hand never stopping its gentle movement on her back, his presence calm and unwavering.

“Everything’s gonna be okay,” he whispered again, his voice barely above a murmur. “I’m here. You’re not alone.”

Y/N’s sobs began to slow after a while, the tears still flowing but not as violently as before. She stayed in Sam’s arms, her face pressed against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing. It was soothing in a way she couldn’t explain, the way his heartbeat thumped against her cheek, grounding her in the moment.

After what felt like an eternity, Y/N finally pulled back slightly, her breath still coming in shaky gasps. Her eyes were red and swollen, her cheeks streaked with tears, but she could feel the weight of the breakdown starting to lift, even if just a little.

Sam’s hand came up to brush a strand of hair away from her face, his touch careful and gentle. His blue eyes, which usually held a teasing glint or an air of detachment, were filled with something softer, something real.

“Hey,” he said softly, his thumb brushing the corner of her eye, wiping away a stray tear. “You’re stronger than you think, you know that?”

Y/N sniffled, feeling another tear slip down her cheek. “I don’t feel strong.”

“You are,” Sam insisted, his voice firm but kind. “Look at everything you’ve been through tonight. And you’re still here, holding it together. That takes strength.”

She didn’t know what to say to that, so she just nodded, feeling the warmth of his words settle in her chest. For a moment, they just looked at each other, the room filled with a quiet understanding that neither of them had expected to find in each other.

And then, before she could second-guess it, Y/N leaned forward.

It was instinctual, a small, tentative movement, but Sam didn’t pull away. Instead, his hand gently cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing lightly against her skin as he leaned in to meet her halfway.

The kiss was soft—gentle, almost hesitant—but something was grounding in it. It wasn’t rushed or desperate; it was a quiet acknowledgment of everything they had shared that night. The warmth of his lips against hers was calming, reassuring, as if he was telling her, without words, that he was there, and he wasn’t going anywhere.

When they finally pulled apart, Y/N’s heart was still racing, but this time it wasn’t from the pain. She blinked up at Sam, her face still damp from the tears, but now there was a small, fragile smile on her lips.

Sam’s hand remained on her cheek for a moment longer, his thumb tracing slow, soothing circles on her skin. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes said enough—they were soft, filled with an understanding and care she hadn’t expected to find in him.

“You’re gonna be okay,” he whispered one last time, his voice steady and certain.

And for the first time that night, Y/N believed him.

[cameronspecial]

Thorn In My Side, Rose In My Hand (Part 10)

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings:  Suggestion of sex, and Rafe being aggressive.

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3.4K

Summary: Finally able to tell Rafe the truth leads to an intimate moment.

A/N: There are only 5 more parts of the series left!!!!

Masterlist

The following day, Y/N did everything in her power to avoid Rafe at school. She had driven herself to school even though Rafe was the one driving Mason to school. She got to her classes even earlier than she normally does. Heck, she even held a last-minute, definitely not needed student council meeting at lunch just to have an excuse not to sit with him. She knew it was wrong and he didn’t deserve it, but she just wasn’t ready to confront her feelings yet. 

However, her plans were changed when Rafe found her in the gazebo after school. He moves away from the door to make sure she can leave if she wants to but also ensures to keep a safe distance from her in order to not unease her any more than she already is. “I think we should talk. The last time we did, I said all the wrong things and we ended up fighting. Having you avoid me hurts like hell. So please talk to me,” Rafe pleads to the girl. She lets out a soft sigh and takes her headphones off, “You’re right. We should talk. I’m sorry that I kept provoking the fight last night. I just… I was really ready for us to go farther than that. But then I couldn’t help but think about what Molly and Hannah said and I got a little nervous.”

“That’s okay. I hope you know that I don’t want to do anything you aren’t ready for. You know you still haven’t told me what they said that day. Maybe if I knew, it could help me understand how to reassure you.”

“Right. They were talking about our sex life and how they couldn’t see how I could satisfy you in that way. Normally, it wouldn’t affect me. But Rafe, I’ve never liked or cared for someone as much as I do for you. I got so caught up in my own fears that I hesitated. And then I picked a fight with you because I didn’t want to be honest at the time.”

“Okay, I understand why you might feel a little insecure if you heard them saying stuff like that. Y/N, I may have slept with more people than you but none of those times were perfect. You wanna know why?”

“Why?”

“Because they were not you. For me, it’s not the person's actual skills that make it perfect, but the fact that you are sharing an intimate moment with someone you love and care for. I will be ready to show you what I mean when you feel 100% comfortable with the situation.”

“I know you will be. And I’m really sorry about what I said.”

“It’s no problem at all, my rose. As long as you are okay.”

“You know, nobody is home right now.”

“Really? Well, if you think you are ready, then I don’t see any harm in trying.”

With nothing more to say, Y/N grabs Rafe’s hand and leads him toward the bedroom. She quickly shuts the door behind them. Rafe rolls them over so Y/N’s back is against the door and he locks it. He starts pressing light kisses against her neck. He trails the kisses lower and lower until he has to lift up the edge of her dress to reach his desired location. 

———

Y/N wakes up from her nap cuddled in Rafe’s arms and his sweatshirt covering her body. She lifts her head from his chest to check if he is awake, which he is. “How are you feeling?” he whispers with his lips pressed against her forehead. Y/N turns to press a kiss to his bare chest, “Amazing. You made me feel amazing. How about you?” 

“I feel perfect. I’m glad you enjoyed it. What do you want to eat for dinner?”

“Can we order sushi? I want one with avocado in it.”

“Of course, I’ll get our regular. Be right back.” 

Rafe gently removes himself from her hold and picks up his phone. She watches as he heads into the bathroom and listens as the bathtub starts to run. She thinks nothing of it as she checks her phone. She has a text from Mason saying he and their parents are almost home. “Cameron, can you order some food for Mace and my parents too, please?” she calls out to him. “Okay. I’ll just order more of what I’m getting already.” She doesn’t question when she hears him rummaging through her cabinet; instead, she continues to look through her phone. 

A few minutes later, Rafe comes out of the bathroom, walking right towards her. “I’ve already ordered the food and I ran you a bath. Is it okay if I carry you to the bathroom?” Y/N’s shock causes her to reply with a mere nod of her head. He picks her up bridal style and takes her into the bathroom, placing her on the toilet. He gives her time to take the sweater off by herself and helps her into the tub. She observes as the bubbles pop under the pressure of her weight. Once she is settled, he unwraps a bath bomb and drops it into the tub. He leaves the room for a second and returns with her laptop playing Criminal Minds. He places it on her bathroom trolley just as the doorbell rings. “I’m going to go get the food ready downstairs. Stay in here as long as you’d like. Your parents and Mace said they hit some traffic so it will be another thirty minutes until they get home,” Rafe informs, kissing her lips before going downstairs. 

———

Around twenty minutes later, Y/N goes downstairs to see Rafe has set the table for everyone. Ironically, Mason and her parents have just entered through the door. “Good, the food here. I’m starving, dude,” Mason grumbles, sitting himself down at the table and eating without waiting for anyone else. Cassie is quick to chastise the boy, “Mason, you should’ve waited for everyone else.” “Sorry,” he apologizes with his mouth full. Everyone else shakes their head and joins him at the table. 

After dinner, Mason clears the table for everyone so Y/N and Rafe head out for a stroll on the beach. She rests her head on his shoulder and enjoys the music coming from his phone. “I could stay here forever,” she mumbles. Rafe smiles down at her, “Me too. I just want forever with you. Wherever that is and whatever that means. I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

Their first I love yous. 

———

The weekend comes before they know it. Y/N and Rafe are woken up by a small weight jumping up and down on top of them. Y/N feels tiny fingers trying to pull her eyelids apart and hears a small voice call out, “Y/N/N! Wakey wakey. Why is Rafe in your bed?” Y/N bolts up at the sound of the tiny voice. “Bells, what are you doing here?” she questions her three-year-old cousin. In the corner of her eye, she can see Rafe is also sitting up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. The small girl straddles Y/N’s front and starts playing with her cheeks, “Mommy said to come to wake you up. Mason and you are going to watch me and Frankie. Mommy, Uncle Vin and Auntie Cass are going to go to the mainland for a wine tour.” Y/N groans at being left to babysit her younger cousins. She loves the two, but she has a ton of work she needs to get done for school today. Before she can respond, the three-year-old repeats her previous question. “Why is Rafe in your bed?” “Y/N/N and I are dating now, Bella. That’s why I’m sleeping in her bed,” Rafe laughs. He had met the inquisitive toddler many times at family events because of the fact that he is Mason’s best friend. “Come on, let’s go get some breakfast to eat.” Rafe picks the young girl up and carries her downstairs, letting Y/N trail behind the pair. She can hear Bella telling Rafe about the cars she saw on the way here. 

At the bottom of the stairs, the adults are waiting at the front door. “Good, you guys are awake. Could you please watch after your cousins?” Marvin states, handing over Franklin in the car seat. No matter how much work she has, Y/N would never deprive her Aunt Millie of some independent time, “Of course.” The adults smile at the trio and they leave after saying goodbye. “Did you guys eat already, Bells?” Rafe asks the girl, sitting her on the counter in front of him. He stays standing in front of her to make sure she doesn’t fall. “No, can we make pancakes? Please, Y/N/N,” Bella begs with puppy dog eyes. Y/N smiles at the girl, “Sure. Why don’t you make some with Rafe because he is the better cook while I feed your brother?” 

Y/N is pretending the spoon filled with mashed strawberries is a plane, hoping it will get the baby to eat. But as she gets the spoon close to his mouth, he quickly turns his head which results in a small smear of red to stain his face. She sighs and motions for Rafe to come towards her. Understanding what she intends to do, he comes closer to his girlfriend. “Look, Frankie. Rafe is going to be a good boy and eat his food,” Y/N tries, shoving the spoon into his mouth. She notices that it catches the baby’s attention and goes to give Rafe another spoonful. “Rafe,” a tiny angry cry falls out of the baby’s lips. Franklin reaches his hand out towards the spoon to bring it towards him. Y/N looks at the boy in shock; not believing that her baby cousin’s first word is her boyfriend’s name. Bella squeals at the milestone her brother achieved and Rafe just grins while swallowing the food. “That’s right, buddy. I’m Rafe.” Y/N snaps out of her shock to feed the now whining child. 

With the children fed and changed into cleaner clothes, she needs a small break just to get a start with her schoolwork. Rafe offers to watch them while she goes to her room because they both know that if they wake Mason up to watch the children chaos would follow. Y/N finishes up some of her coursework in the hour she gave herself and goes to find everyone. She couldn’t find them inside the house or outside in the backyard, so she went to check his car. Of course, that is where she finds Rafe, with his nails painted in a rainbow pattern and his hair tied in tiny ponytails, behind the wheel of his jeep. Bella is sitting on his lap in the driver’s seat and Franklin is in the passenger seat taking a nap. The pair still awake haven’t noticed Y/N’s arrival. 

“Yep, that is the gas pedal. It tells the car to go. If this was a standard car, then you would have another peda pedall to switch gears,” Rafe finishes explaining to the car-obsessed girl. 

“I know, my daddy showed me how a standard car works already. I even helped him build a model of a standard car. Do you love Y/N?” 

Bella being three means that the sudden change in conversation doesn’t surprise Rafe at all.

“I do. I love her very much. She makes me really happy.”

“What’s your favourite thing about her?” 

“She isn’t afraid to tell me the truth and I love how she isn’t afraid to be passionate about reading.”

“I like it when she reads to me. Do you think you are going to marry her?” 

“I hope so. Nothing would make me happier than being with her forever.”

Y/N can’t help but feel butterflies in her stomach as she eavesdrops on the conversation but eventually has to make her presence known because she feels guilty for spying. “Hey, you too. Why don’t we get you two monsters buckled up and we can go pick out a book to read,” she suggests based off of Bella mentioning she likes it when Y/N reads to her. This excites the little girl as she almost throws herself back into the back seat. Rafe and Y/N laugh at the small girl. 

———

Rafe can’t help but watch the scene in front of him with nothing but love in his eyes. Y/N is carrying Bella while they look at different books for them to read together. “Bells, look. This one is about cars. Should we get it?” Y/N asks her cousins. “Yes! Look Y/N/N that man on the book looks like Rafe,” Bella points towards a book with a man who does look like Rafe and is also shirtless. Rafe laughs at it, knowing that it is probably a romance book, “I’m getting you this. So you think of me when you read this.” Y/N doesn’t object to his statement and they both head over to the cashier with their goods in tow. She can’t even take her card out before Rafe is handing over the baby to Y/N so he can get out his card to pay. Y/N has learnt to stop arguing with Rafe about paying; she just buys him gifts and food to surprise him with. 

When they get home from the store, Mason is sitting at the kitchen island and Franklin has a full diaper. “I’m going to go change him,” Rafe announces, picking up Frankie and the diaper bag. He makes his way to Y/N’s bathroom because she has a long enough counter to fit the babe and places the changing mat on top of it. He removes the soiled diaper and wipes Franklin’s bum. But as he goes to get a clean diaper, Franklin starts giggling and when Rafe turns towards the boy to see why he is laughing, he feels a warm liquid being shot onto his chest. “Ahh, come on little buddy. You couldn’t have waited until I had the diaper on you,” Rafe complains, watching as the baby just giggles and finishes up his assault. Rafe finishes up the changing and unbuttons his shirt before washing his hands. 

Y/N's eyebrow shoots up as she watches her baby cousin and her shirtless boyfriend return from upstairs. “Dude, where’s your shirt?” Mason grumbles with a mouth full of cereal. Bella can be heard giggling at the sight, “Did Frankie pee on you?” Rafe just nods his head and sits beside Y/N at the breakfast nook. 

“How did you know?”

“He does that sometimes to Daddy, but only Daddy. He never does it to Mommy.”

“Bella, how come you didn’t tell me?”

“I don’t know. I forgot? It’s funny when he does it.”

“Ohh, is it? Well, I think the tickle monster sees someone who needs to be tickled.”

Rafe hands the baby over to Y/N and goes in to tickle Bella. She watches the domestic scene in front of her with the baby in her lap. She imagines her future with Rafe and wonders if their house would be filled with the laughter of their children. Would Rafe come downstairs complaining of a harmless prank from their children? Would he make them breakfast while singing along to the soundtrack of whatever Disney movie is popular at the time? “Do you ever think of getting married?” Y/N blurts out without thinking. This causes the room to fall silent. Rafe looks at her with love in her eyes, “Is this your way of proposing? Because I gotta say, I was imagining something more grand. But to answer your question: all the time. Just not anytime soon. Maybe when we are 25 and a little more settled in life.” At the mention of the question not being an if they get married but a when she feels her heart flutter. 

———

After school on Monday, Y/N and Rafe decide to go to a restaurant for a date, seeing as they haven’t done such a formal date even though they have been dating for more than a month. She is returning from the bathroom when some guy who isn’t watching where he is going bumps into her with such force that she trips on her own feet. She knows he saw her fall because of him, but he continues on walking like nothing happened. Rafe sees the whole interaction and his blood pressure rises. He quickly goes to help Y/N up, then goes to confront the man. “Yo, bud. You need to apologize to my girlfriend,” he says calmly, pointing toward her. He doesn’t want to let his anger get the best of him with Y/N here and the upscale place they are in. The man looks back at Rafe with disinterest on his face, “Why? It’s not my fault she is clumsy.” This causes Rafe to go from like 20 to 100. “IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT?! IT’S NOT HER FAULT YOU ARE AN AGGRESSIVE ASSHOLE! NOW, APOLOGIZE.” This causes the restaurant to quiet as they watch the scene unfold. 

Y/N tries to pull Rafe back as he approaches the person on the receiving end of his anger. The older man in the suit shrinks at Rafe’s dominating stance and whispers an apology before scurrying off to the table. A waiter is quick to approach the couple and ask them to leave after the scene. However, Rafe doesn’t seem to process the words as he stares down the man from where he is now sitting alone. This time his girlfriend tugs a little harder and speaks up. “Come on, Cameron. Let’s go to the car.” She takes his hand and walks towards the exit, but once she leaves the building, she notices his hand slip out of hers. She thinks nothing of it, believing he just needs some space until she gets to the car and turns to see his hands in front of his face. She knows he is trying to hide tears and rushes towards him. “What’s wrong?” she mumbles, pulling his head towards her chest and wiping the tears for him. 

“I got us kicked out of the restaurant. We couldn’t even go one night without my anger getting the best of me.”

“Cameron, that wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t exactly fair that we were the only people that got asked to leave. But that’s life.”

“But it’s my aggression that was the issue. Am I too aggressive? What if I hurt you because of it?”

“You would never hurt me, so don’t even think about that. And you may be aggressive sometimes, but you are like a thorn. When you are handled roughly and without care,  you prick people with your aggression. But when people take the time to handle you with care, they don’t get hurt.”

“You really think so?”

“Of course, I mean look at how you were with my cousin. You literally got peed on and you still laughed about it. You felt safe and loved in that moment and you met that mood. Plus, you were only protecting me from that jackass. You need aggression for that.”

“Yeah, that’s true. So I’m like the thorn to your rose.”

Y/N takes his head into her head and wipes the tears away, “Yeah, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I just know that you will be the best person to protect our kids.” She gives him a soft kiss on the lips. “Now, come on. I didn’t want anything to eat from that place anyways. Let’s get some pizza.” 

———

The next morning, Y/N is rounding her way into the kitchen when she hears Rafe and Ward in the kitchen. She freezes and once again eavesdrops on a conversation that would lead to her questioning the future of her relationship. “Rafe, where do you see this relationship going? I know you’ve known the Y/L/Ns since you were five, but Y/N’s dream is to go to Oxford. You are going to UNC for Business and going to take over the family business. How do you expect to handle such a long distance for four years? Not to mention what happens if she decides to move there,” Ward argues. Y/N doesn’t wait for Rafe to answer his father because she starts to become consumed by the seeds Ward has planted. She makes her way upstairs to pretend she just woke up, waiting for him to come and get her. 

Taglist: @itsalexwin @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @gillybear17 @terraeluce @f4ll-for-you

[football-and-fanfics]

Breaking Point - Mason Mount & Declan Rice

Who: Mason Mount, Declan Rice Prompt: Receiving (online) hate Requested by: anonymous Word count: 720 Warnings: mentions of mental struggle and receiving hate.

I need to see you.

Declan stared once more at the WhatsApp message he had received from Mason that morning. He had offered to videocall, but Mason had been adamant to make the drive from Manchester all the way up to London.

Declan frowned as he read those five words for the umpteenth time. It could mean anything, but somehow he had a bad feeling about this. He knew things hadn't been easy for Mason ever since his move to Manchester United, and he couldn't quite shake the feeling Mason had reached a breaking point.

---

Declan raced for the door as soon as the doorbell rang. He had barely opened the door, when Mason already pushed passed him.

"I've had enough! I don't understand why people would do this? What's the fun in being so hateful?! Don't they understand that we're people, too, with feelings?" Mason rambled uncontrollably, gesturing wildly with his hands, and pacing up and down the hallway of Declan's house. Declan closed the door behind them and slowly turned around to Mason. This was even worse than he had expected....

"Mase, calm down." Declan tried to ease his friend. "It's alright, I'm here. Please, tell me what happened." Mason stopped and fell silent. His hands shook with emotion and his eyes were wild. "I need it to... stop." His voice broke. "What, mate, what?" Declan asked desperately. He wanted nothing more than to help, there was no doubt Mason needed him right now, but if he could only find out what had happened to send Mason spiraling so out of control.

Mason ran a trembling hand through his hair, looking more disheveled that Declan had ever seen him. He gulped for air a few times, before he finally pulled his phone from the pocket of his jacket. He tapped on the screen a few times and then held it out to Declan. "Read it." Mason's voice sounded strained, laden with emotion.

Declan took the phone from Mason a little apprehensively. He wasn't sure what he was going to see, but he was damn sure he wasn't going to like it.

The screen showed the DM section of Mason's Instagram. Declan slowly scrolled through it and felt himself get more and more nauseous with each message he read. All of them contained so much hate, threats and wishes of all kinds of diseases upon Mason, each as revolting as the next.

"Mate..." Now it was Declan's voice that broke. "This is... beyond vile." Mason hung his head, slowly shaking it. "I can't take anymore. I need it to stop." "We're going to think of something." Declan recollected himself. "We'll make a plan on what to do. And, for starters, you're going to stay here with me for the next few days." "I can't," Mason sniffled, "I've got training." "No, you don't," Declan said resolutely, "I don't care how many calls you have to make, but you're taking a leave of absence, at least until after the weekend."

Mason glanced up at Declan. The man he's known for so long, whom he trusted with his life, and who knew him through and through. "I mean it." Declan looked dead-serious. "I'm not letting you drive back to Manchester in your current condition. Hell, it scares me that you already did it once!"

Mason blew out a deep breath. His shoulders sagged and his entire posture deflated like a balloon. The idea of crashing at Declan's for a few days, away from all those horrible messages and negativity, actually sounded like a blessing.

"Thank you." Mason swallowed hard to try and keep his tears in. Declan closed the space between them, resting his hands on Mason's shoulders. "It's hard, I know, but we're going to figure this out." Mason sniffled softly, before he nodded silently.

"Come on." Declan slung an arm around Mason's shoulders and guided him to the living room. "Take a seat. I'll make you some tea, and we're just going to take it easy for a little while, get you calmed down."

Mason couldn't even begin to express his gratitude towards Declan. But that was how deep their friendship went. Even left unspoken, they knew they meant the world to each other and that they could always rely on each other, during the good times and the bad.

Tags: @stonesyyyy, @footballffbarbiex, @football1921, @laurasstufff1, @juliabrghs, @nightlockcornucopia, @hbstre, @sarah10r-blog, @mountsgirlsblog

Add me to the tags list Mason Mount masterlist | Declan Rice masterlist | Full writing masterlist

[canirove]

I don’t like you, Mason Mount | Chapter 11

Author’s note: We’ve made to the last four chapters of this story! 👀 Hope you like what is left, and thank you very much for reading and for all your support! 💜

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

“I can’t believe I let you convinced me to do this.”

“You are doing it for Lola. Think about that” Monica says.

“Doing something for Lola is what got me into this mess in the first place.”

“You’ll be fine. Trust me” she says, giving my hand an encouraging squeeze.

For their last game of the season, Lola’s team somehow managed to get Mason to come and give them the league winner trophy and medals. I didn’t want to go, but when Lola herself asked me to…

“Auntie… Is it true that you don’t want to come? It is my last game, they are giving us the trophy!”

“I know, little one. But I just…”

“You love him and he hurt you.”

“What?”

“I’ve heard you and mum talk about Mason. I know you ended up liking him like I said you would, and then you fell in love with him. And he loves you too, but he has a girlfriend.”

“I…”

“But you know, maybe if you see each other in person, you can fix things. Isn’t that what you adults always tell us to do when we get angry with our friends? That we should talk about it?”

“We actually do say that, yes” I chuckle.

“Then give it a go. Do it for me. Please” she pouts.

“If you look at me like that…”

“Will you talk with Mason if you see him?”

“I’ll try. But only because I love you more than anything.”

“More than you love him?”

“I could never love anyone more than I love you, Lola.”

“Not even your future babies with Mason?” she asks with a smile.

“Ok, that’s enough.”

“I would like to have him as my uncle.”

“Lola…”

“Ok, ok” she laughs. “Love you, auntie.”

“Love you too.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Hi.”

“Fuck” I say, my drink slipping from my hand.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“A bit late for that, don’t you think?”

“I’ll get you another one.”

“I don’t want another one.”

“But you had barely had a sip…”

“I said no, Mason. Besides being an idiot, are you deaf now too?”

“There she is” he chuckles. “I’ve missed your mean comments.”

“I, on the other hand, haven’t missed anything about you” I say, starting to walk away.

“Daniela, please” he says, grabbing me by the arm.

“Let me go.”

“Sorry. Can we please talk?”

“No.”

“Dani…”

“Do not call me Dani!” I say, raising my voice.

“Sorry. I just…” he says, running a hand through his hair and making my stomach do funny things. “I miss you.”

“You… what?”

“I miss you.”

“Mason, you have a girlfriend. She is the one you should be missing when you aren’t together, not me.”

“But I miss you. And I’m breaking up with her.”

“Yeah, sure” I chuckle.

“I am.”

“You said the same back in December, and what did you do? Go on holidays with her and post about it everywhere.”

“I couldn’t do it” he says, looking at the floor.

“And after Valentine’s Day? You said on your note that you were also going to break up with her, but then you also got her a bunch of gifts and took her out for a romantic dinner. Is that how people break up these days?”

“It was complicated, ok?”

“Complicated” I snort. “You were playing with me the way I played with you. I hurt you, and you wanted to hurt me too. Just admit it, Mason.”

“What? No! I didn’t want to hurt you, Dani.”

“It’s Daniela!”

“Can we… Can we please go somewhere else to talk? The girls may hear us. Or what is worse, their parents.”

“Afraid they may find out that their kids’ idol isn’t the nice and cute guy they thought? That he actually is a jerk?”

“Ok, fine, yes. I am jerk. Happy?”

“Of course not!”

“Then what the hell do you want from me, Daniela? What? Tell me! Tell me so we can finally put an end to whatever this is. Because it hurts. It fucking hurts.”

“And you think it doesn’t hurt me? I’ve spent the past three months crying every time I hear your name, Mason. When Lola wants to watch your games, I have to leave the room. Do you think this has been easy for me?”

“I… I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t! Because you were too busy playing couple goals with your girlfriend!”

“I’m breaking up with her. I promise you. I’m going to do things right this time.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it” I snort.

“Daniela” he says, taking my hand on his. “I promise you. I’m breaking up with her. I want to be with you.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep” I say, letting go of his hand and walking away, not being able to contain my tears anymore.

[retrosofa]

I finished the second season of Dead Like Me as well as the follow-up film. The second season was fine, not as good as the first but still alright. I feel like behind the scenes drama and lack of direction were to blame. Aside from George, the character development for the Reapers felt misguided.

Mason and Daisy were the worst offenders. The series premiere has Mason celebrating his sobriety, which doesn't actually change things? He spends the entire episode being the same selfish idiot he always is. At the end of it he goes back to drinking. He then remains a fuck-up the entire season, the only difference being that everyone is pretty sick of it. Things kind of turn around at the tail-end but overall, his character arc was not very thought out.

I don't know what the hell they were thinking with Daisy. She spends half of the season pursuing Catholicism after she's smitten by a dead women's crucifix. Daisy, who has been dead for over 60 years, apparently never stumbled upon a cross before. Sure. After her little religious stunt, she gets upset when one of her marks is murdered by an abusive lover. Daisy can't deal with the situation, leaves the soul behind for Roxy to take care, briefly mentions she used to have a sister (I suppose implying her sister was killed by an abusive man?), and then starts dating an abusive TV producer in the next episode?? What??! EXCUSE ME?

And then there's Roxy and Rube, both of whom barely get any screen time this season. Roxy becomes a cop, which ends up just becoming a convenient plot device a couple of times. She doesn't have any story arcs or anything of her own, which is a damn shame. Roxy gets more screen time this season but she still gets shafted for Mason and Daisy. I can't tell if it's because of racism or Jasmine Guy having scheduling conflicts. Whatever the reason, she deserved much more.

Rube is reduced to a secondary role. He has his own arc this season, which is extremely heartwarming. While I like the story line they wrote up for Rube, it does feel a bit out of left-field. It also felt like him and George barely had any meaningful scenes together.

A few interesting things happen this season which bring up more questions than answers. We see two different instances of a reaper killing someone. Roxy shoots one of Mason's reaps, which surprises even herself. Since the victim was scheduled to die, it was fine. However, later on Mason kills Daisy's boyfriend, Ray in "self-defense." His death wasn't scheduled and his soul turns into a graveling, which haunts Daisy. The Ray-graveling subplot raises a lot of questions that don't get any solid answers. You would think Ray turned into a graveling because his death wasn't scheduled but he causes an unscheduled death at one point and Daisy is able to pop the man's soul out without any issues. So maybe he turned into a graveling because he was a bad person? I don't know. Ray is ultimately "destroyed" when George reaps him. This is never explored upon or explained as it happens right before the last episode.

As always, George was a lot of fun to watch. She's not as sloppy as the last season. She's gotten more comfortable with her undead life but is still a bit rebellious. This time around she's smarter about her decisions. In the first season she was constantly searching for loopholes and ways of escaping her fate. This season, she's owning it. We also get to see her dabble in romance and have a few nice scenes with Delores.

The last episode takes place on Halloween and doesn't offer a real conclusion but works fine. Most of the loose ends are tied up. I feel like even if this show didn't get canceled, it wouldn't have had a definitive conclusion. Although I wish it would've gotten another season or two, I think the ending is fine. I didn't feel cheated or anything. Overall, the TV series was pretty solid.

As for the movie...

Not sure if I mentioned this before or not but when DLM got canceled back in the early 2000's, I pretty much lost all interest in it. Nobody else I knew watched it and I was getting more into anime around that time. Years later MGM released a follow-up movie, which I remember hearing about but never bothered to watch until now.

It's bad. Like really bad.

There are hundreds of reviews online that will back me up on this. There are many reasons why the movie is bad but the biggest one for me is that it doesn't feel like Dead Like Me. I suppose since it's a "movie", they wanted to do something a little different but it's just a whole other beast. It also dismisses a lot of key "rules" established in the TV series, which I suppose was an intentional choice? It's just weird.

I also don't understand why they even bothered... the show had been canceled for years, two of the key actors couldn't come back, and the film doesn't answer any of the burning questions from the TV show. It's almost completely a waste of time.

On the bright side, we see that Joy has gotten a better handle on things and has seemingly moved on. Reggie gets some proper closure. The movie ends with the implication that George will take over Rube's role, which is fitting I suppose.

Overall, I'd recommend the show but would advise avoiding the film unless you're absolutely curious.

[mountttmase]

Hiii, can you please write something based on “Until I found you” Stephen Sanchez song?? Thank you ❤️

Until I Found You

Note - okay but I love this song 😌 thank you so much for sending this to me I hope you like this 🩵 if you haven’t listened to it then please do here. feedback would be very much appreciated like always 💕

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 4.1k

Warnings - angst and fluff

Mason hadn’t been right for a few weeks now, a far cry from the boy you met a few months back and it’s like you could physically feel him pulling away from you yet you’d barely been together long enough to feel like what it could be like to be in his life properly.

You’d met Mason in a coffee shop after you’d brought the last millionaires shortbread that he also had his eye on and after failing to convince you to sell it to him, he’d somehow managed to trick you into giving him your number. You met him the week after for dinner after texting for the whole week and he’d swept you off your feet from the moment he flashed you his pearly whites.

You knew things hadn’t been great for him at Chelsea, and string of small injuries weren’t helping but you were hoping you could help take his mind off of things and you saw each other as often as you could. He was becoming a shell of himself though, that gorgeous smile of his never seeming to quite reach his eyes anymore and his loud and talkative persona had seemingly vanished. He didn’t seem to want to talk that much, evenings now spent quietly in each others arms where you tried to reassure him with gentle touches and kisses.

He was driving back after a candle lit dinner where he’d been nothing but charming and made you forget about everything you’d been worrying about for weeks, but the drive home was tense and silent and you couldn’t work out why but when he pulled up outside your building rather than his house like you had already agreed you looked at him him confusion.

‘Mase? Why are we here? I thought we staying at yours?’ You asked, turning to look at him but you felt you tummy drop immediately. He wasn’t looking at you but you could see the tears running down his face and he started down at his fingers that sat in his lap.

‘I’m really sorry, y/n’ he whispered, your heart sinking as you knew what was coming next but you were unsure as to why. ‘I don’t think I can do this anymore’

You couldn’t speak, the breath knocked out of you as you took in his words. He was ending things before they’d even really started and you couldn’t figure out why.

‘Did I do something?’ You whispered, wanting some sort of explanation even if it hurt more than anything else ever had and you felt him reach for your hands, gripping them tightly as he turned to face you but you didn’t have the strength to look at him.

‘You haven’t done a single thing, I promise you. It’s all on me’ he told you, his voice sounding pained as he tried to explain his thoughts. ‘I’m not myself at the minute and I can’t be what you deserve right now. You’re so so lovely and kind and beautiful and you should be with someone who can give you the world. I’m not that guy right now’

‘Don’t, Mason’ you sobbed, trying to pull away from him but he wouldn’t let you, grabbing your face gently so you would look at him and the sincerity in his eyes.

‘It’s true, y/n please please listen to me. If I was ready to fall in love with someone then you would be it. I swear on everything I have you are the perfect girl for me, but I can’t be what you deserve right now’

‘Why? I don’t understand’ you whispered

‘I Just think I need time on my own to sort myself out and be a better person. Not just for me but for everyone around me. Including you’ he explained and even though you understood it still hurt like hell. ‘I don’t want you to wait for me though, I don’t know how long this is gonna take and you deserve to be happy, even if it’s not with me’

‘But I… but I thought..’ you tried speaking but the words weren’t coming out, your heart breaking as you slowly came to terms with why he was saying before the sobs wracked through you. You hid your face in your hands and you let everything out in his passenger seat, his arms holding you close to his as you felt his body shake as you both cried out all out pain.

You could hear him sobbing out the words I’m sorry and even though you were hurt beyond belief you knew he needed your comfort. There was no way he’d be able to get home in this state so you took his face in your hands, pressing small kisses to his cheeks and whispering to him that it was okay until he had calmed down.

‘Are you gonna be okay getting back?’ You asked him gently ‘you can come in for a bit if you want? Just to sort yourself out I don’t want you to have an accident on the way home’

‘I’m fine I promise’ he told you, rubbing his eyes to get the to stop watering before he looked up at you again. He looked so incredibly sad and it made you want to cry all over again. ‘I just want you to know, I’m doing this for you, yeah? Cause I care about you and your happiness and I hate feeling like I’m bringing you down’

‘You’re not-‘

‘Please don’t, y/n please. You deserve the world and I haven’t been able to give you that in a while’ he told you, holding your hand again gently as if he was scared that you were going to pull away. ‘I want you to know that you can still trust me yeah? I mean everything I’m saying. This isn’t me trying to fob you off so I can go date half of England. I don’t wanna be with anyone if it’s not gonna be you but I cant be what you need’

‘I understand’ you told him, and you heard him let out a little breath of relief at your words. ‘I know we haven’t said it but I do love you Mason. And if this is what you need to do then I’ll accept it’ you said, eyes on the floor as you heard him gasp in surprise before titling your face up to look at him.

‘I love you, too’ he whispered, fresh tears falling from each of your eyes as the reality of each others words hit you. ‘That’s why I’m doing this. It’s out of love and I know it doesn’t make it any easier. ’

‘I know’ you murmured, reaching down to the floor for your bag so you could make your way out of his car, turning back to him slightly so you could say your final words. ‘If you need me, just call me yeah? I’m here for you even if you don’t think you deserve it’ you told him quietly before reaching for the door handle.

‘I really am sorry’ he whimpered and you nodded as you looked out the window.

‘I know. I hope you figure things out Mase’ You whispered and fearing you might break down in front of him again you swiftly made your way of his car

He let you go without a fight, sitting in his car until you’d made it inside and once you were in the safety of your own home you finally let your walls come crashing down again. You’d thought you’d finally found him. The elusive one that everyone is always looking for but in the blink of an eye you were alone again

The coming weeks were tough, your emotions were all over the place and whilst you tried to hold it together, you didn’t fully understand what had happened for you to process it properly.

You knew anything to do with Mason would hurt too much to be around at the moment so you unfollowed him on everything as well as most Chelsea related things which stung a bit as you’d come to support them over the last few months but you couldn’t face the thought of seeing him. The only thing you kept was his number as you’d promised that he could text you if he needed to but you were starting to wonder if that was a good idea.

You weren’t quite sure how, but you’d made it to three months without him. You were still crushed about how things had ended but you’d grown to accept it as he felt he couldn’t give you what you deserved and you were partly thankful that he hadn’t dragged you through a relationship he couldn’t fully commit to.

You hadn’t been able to look at another guy though, using the time to also work on yourself a little bit and figure out what you wanted out of a relationship. Unfortunately your mind always came back to Mason and what could of been as he was seemingly the perfect guy for you however you just wished the timing would of been better.

It was a Sunday night and you were sat scrolling through TikTok when your arm got tired and you ended up dropping your phone on your face before it fell off the bed and down the side where you couldn’t reach.

‘Oh shit’ you huffed, rolling over and reaching down to feel for it but it was just out of your grasp. You could just about touch the screen though and your worst fears were suddenly realised when you heard the sound of the phone ringing through the AirPods in your ears. You’d obviously pressed the call button and you had no idea if they’d pick up and no way of ending the call either but you were hoping whoever it was wouldn’t answer.

‘Hello?… y/n? You there?’ You heard Mason say, your blood running cold at the sound of his voice. It had been months since you’d heard it and you hated the way it still gave you butterflies. ‘Y/n? I can hear you breathing’ he laughed and you sat yourself up, coughing quietly before speaking.

‘H-hey, Mason. Sorry I dropped my phone down the side of my bed and I’ve been trying to grab it. I must of called you by accident’

‘That’s okay, don’t apologise’

‘You can hang up if you want, I can’t quite reach it still. Unless you wanna listen to me struggle for another five minutes’ you told him, trying to ease the tension a bit and when you heard him laugh properly you felt your chest tighten at the sound.

‘No, I don’t wanna hang up. I’ve sort of been wanting to talk to you for weeks now but I’ve been too scared to call’ he murmured, making you gulp and you sat up properly. ‘Is that okay?’

‘Um, yeah that’s okay’ you told him but you were freaking out inside. You had only just settled back into life without Mason so to now have him back in your ear was making your tummy churn. ‘H-how have you been?’

‘Yeah not bad, not bad at all. You?’

‘Yeah I’ve been good thanks’

‘Good, I’m glad’ he told you, and you could hear the smile in his voice. A sound that you’d hadn’t heard at all towards the end of your relationship.

Their pair of you carried on chatting lightly, not even paying attention to the time as you still didn’t have your phone to hand. You both seemed to of slipped back into how things were, cracking jokes and laughing as you reminisced about the past but caught each other up on what you’d missed. Your whole soul felt lighter than it had in months listening to him laugh and you wanted nothing more than to see his face so you could watch his eyes light up like they used to. ‘Listen, it’s getting late and I’m conscious of your bed time’ he laughed, trying to make a joke of how much you loved to sleep and you shook your head as you laid down to try and reach your phone again.

‘How late is it? I still don’t have my- ah! Got it’ you cheered as you finally made contact with your phone, pulling it to see it was now gone 11 and you’d been on the phone for the better part of an hour and a half. ‘Oh Jesus I didn’t think it would be that late’

‘I’m sorry’ he laughed before you heard him gulp, getting ready to say something he was nervous about. ‘So listen, I go away with England for a little while in a couple of weeks and I was hoping I could see you beforehand?’

‘Oh…’ you breathed, your heart hammering in your chest at the thought of him wanting to see you and if you could physically handle it.

‘You don’t have to tell me now, just think about it yeah?’

‘Okay’ you whispered

‘Okay’ he laughed and you felt yourself smile too. ‘Just text me or something yeah? I’ll let you go get your beauty sleep but I’m really glad we got to talk today’

‘Me too’ you whispered, feeling your face heat up as you shut your eyes.

‘Good night, y/n’

‘Good night, Mase’

You gave into him quicker than you had meant to, texting him the next afternoon to say you were free to see him one evening next week and he let you know he’d arrange everything and pick you up on Wednesday night so he could take you to dinner. He didn’t give you much more information other than that, and you felt nervous as paced up and down your living room. You were unsure if you were over dressed or underdressed, if he’d like you did your hair now or the colour of your nails but a knock on the door made you stop in your tracks.

You curiosity went over to open it, unsure as to who would want you at this time but you opened it up to reveal Mason looking back at you with the heartwarming smile you fell in love with all those months ago.

‘Hey’ he breathed, his whole face lighting up with a smile that you couldn’t help but mirror. ‘it’s so good to see you’ he told you, and he looked like he really meant it, unsure if he was allowed you pull you in for a hug or not but in the end he just stuffed his hands into his pockets to avoid any awkwardness.

He looked different, a good different. His hair was a bit shorter but his beard was longer and he seemed to be standing taller than he ever had. His skin was glowing and your favourite dimple popped in his cheek as he gave you a genuine smile that made his eyes crinkle.

‘Hey Mason’ you swallowed nervously, unable to look at him properly as the nerves took over you. ‘I didn’t expect you to knock, let me just get my things’ you told him, quickly running off to grab your coat and bag before meeting him by the door again.

‘Sorry, just felt a bit weird texting you I was here, thought I’d be a gentleman and come and get you’ he smiled as you locked your door, scratching the back of his neck before leading you down to his car where he opened your door for you. The last time you were in here he was breaking up with you and the memory hit you like a slap in the face. You gave him a shy smile as you climbed in and you watched him take a few deep breaths as he made his way round to his side. ‘You ready?’ He smiled and you gave your head a nod as he pulled away from the pavement.

‘So where are we going?’ You asked, trying to get a bit of conversation going as you could tell you were both a bit terrified but he looked over with a gentle smile that eased you a little bit.

‘It’s a surprise. I think you’ll like it though’ he winked and you felt your face flush at the gesture. You kept the conversation light, talking about what you’d been up to that day and as soon as he pulled into the car park you knew where you were. The place he’d taken you on your very first date all those months ago.

You didn’t know what to say, and he was out of the door and opening yours before you had time to think about anything else, gently taking his extended hand so he could help you out and you felt the butterflies swarm as your skin touched his for the first time in a long time. He dropped your hand soon after but it founds it’s place on your waist as he guided you inside and he was as charming as ever with the staff as they led you over to your table, pulling your chair out for you and you sent him a grateful smile as he tucked you in before sitting opposite you.

‘Is this okay?’ He asked opening up his menu with a shy smile on his face and your heart raced at how good he looked in the dim lighting.

‘It’s perfect, thank you’ you told him quietly before you both looked over what you wanted.

‘Thank you for agreeing to see me, I know it can’t of been an easy decision so I appreciate you being here’ he told you as soon as your orders had been placed and your waiter had gone.

‘It’s okay’

‘I need you to know though that this isn’t random or just a catch up for us to say goodbye again. I asked you here for a reason and I’d really like it if you could hear me out’ he told you seriously and you could sense the nervousness in his voice. ‘I’m really fucking sorry’ he told you, brown eyes boring into yours. ‘I know you said you understood and everything but it was still a shit thing to do. I honestly thought I was doing the right thing for the both of us’

‘I know you did’ you nodded, reaching over for his hand to offer him some sort of comfort as you could see he was getting upset about everything. His shocked eyes met yours but his beautiful smile melted you as he squeezed your hand in his. ‘Have you been okay?’ You asked

‘I’m better than I was’ he laughed, threading his fingers through yours ‘it was rough at the start I’m not gonna lie, I shut everyone out and just tried to focus on myself but that only worked well for so long. My mum came and knocked some sense into me and I started letting more people in. Everything started slowly falling into place after that.

‘Thats good’ you smiled and he nodded shyly before looking up at you with a loving stare.

‘Yeah, but there’s one piece of the puzzle missing’ he told you quietly but you were interrupted by your food arriving. Mason sent you a quick wink as you both dug in before he started asking what was new with you and if anything had changed over the last few months. You knew the he was trying to ask if you been seeing anyone lately or if you been on a date since that fateful night but you were quite happy letting him sweat about it for a little bit, choosing to talk about everything but that but he seemed happy enough catching up on everything he’d missed.

‘I’ll be honest, I sort of unfollowed everything to do with you’ you laughed and his head fell into his hands in mock disbelief. ‘How are Chelsea doing?

‘We’re getting there’ he laughed ‘took a while to find our rhythm but it happens’ he shrugged and you sent him a sympathetic smile. You both decided when you’d finished eating you weren’t quite ready to say goodbye yet and he convinced you to join him for a drink in the bar, grabbing a small table near the back where he sat next to you on the small sofa. His arm around the back of the seat and you couldn’t help but lean into him. ‘Are you really gonna leave me guessing then?’ He smiled, slightly bringing his arm around you and when you didn’t protest he held you to him properly.

‘Whatever do you mean Mr. Mount?’ You chuckled and he ticked you side playfully.

‘You know what I mean. Please put me out of my misery’ he laughed and you decided to put your big girl pants on and be honest. All the signs he was giving you made you think he wouldn’t brush you off but you still had that little voice in your head holding you back. You pushed passed it though, letting Mason know how you felt.

‘Mase, it’s alway’s been you. And as hard as these last few months have been for me, that hasn’t changed. I haven’t so much as looked at anyone else let alone talked to anyone or dated anyone’ you told him, finally looking up to meet his glossy eyes.

‘I thought I told you not to wait for me’ he smiled and you shrugged gently.

‘I’ve never been one for listening to you’ you whispered but you didn’t have much time to say anything else as he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours.

You couldn’t help but smile, reaching up to cup his jaw as you kissed him back. You kept it gentle, revelling in the feeling of be close to him again and touching your person. He pulled back too soon for your liking, resting his forehead against your as you got your breath back.

‘I’m a fucking idiot’ he whispered, letting out a small laugh as he pulled back to look at you. ‘I was so lost in my own dark thoughts I wasn’t thinking straight. I should’ve never let you go and I promise I never will again’

‘Mase, don’t blame yourself’ you told him, resting your hand on his chest as he kissed your cheek.

‘I meant what I told you that night. If I was ready to fall for someone then it would be you. I already knew I loved you then and when you told me you loved me I knew I didn’t deserve you but I’ve not been able to get you out of my head. You’re all I’ve thought about these past months, praying that by some miracle things would work out but I was too scared to talk to you cause I’d figured you must of moved on by now. And then when you accidentally called me last week I was so close to not answering because I was petrified about what I might find out but I’m so glad you dropped your phone on your face’ he laughed and you patted his chest gently. ‘I knew I’d never fall in love again until I was back with you’ he whispered, kissing you softly as you melted at his words. ‘Let me love you again. Fall with me, I promise I’ll catch you’

You were so overwhelmed but you knew in your heart you wanted him back in your life. Too tongue tied to say anything back to him you reached up and connected your lips once again, hoping you could say everything through the touch of your lips against his rather than words and he seemed to get the idea, kissing you back before pulling back reluctantly.

‘I know I’ve got a lot of making up to do and we can go as slow as you like but can we please get out of here?’ He laughed, kissing your cheek gently as you nodded, letting him help you up before walking back to his car. Just before he opened the door up for you he lightly pressed you against it, holding you by your cheeks as he looked you in the eyes.

‘I’ll never let you go again, y/n. I promise’

[bornforastorm]

nine lines, nine people

tagged by the lovely @boasamishipper! you're such an Influence™

tagging @majorbaby ESPECIALLY but then whoever else might care to do it!

Here's a little bit from one of the many ongoing Perry Mason fics I'm working on always and forever until I drop dead:

E.S. chews on it. His cigarette burns down to his fingers and he drops it into the gravel under the porch. Without it, he looks like a little kid again. “My parents weren’t ever in love with each other,” he says, sounding only a little sad about it. “They barely even like each other. That’s why Ma’s in Reno, right?” “That’s part of it anyway.” Perry doesn’t want to get into Pete’s many years of sleeping around and staying out too late and the hundreds of nasty, sour fights he and Ruth had. No kid needs to know about that. ”E.S., look… your parents like each other fine, but your dad and I… I really love him. I do. I’m not… I don’t want to hurt him. Or you, or your mother. Neither of us do.”  “Yeah. Good. Okay.” E.S. nods and straightens up, putting on a little toughness. He’s a big man again. Head of the household, even though Pete hasn’t gone anywhere. He scrunches up his mouth in a way that is so Pete it makes Perry’s stomach clench. He wonders if he’ll ever look at Teddy and see himself. E.S. looks the least like Pete of all the boys, with his round face and blond hair and tall, lean body— but hell if he isn’t his father’s son. “You oughta just move in then. You’re over here enough.”  “Jesus, kid.”  “It’d be easier. We wouldn’t mind,” he says, speaking for his brothers too. Perry wonders what, if anything, the younger boys know or have a sense of. Maybe E.S. has talked to them about it. Maybe the three of them have huddled together late at night and discussed what Perry Mason is doing at their house all the time.  “Your neighbors might.” E.S. produces a scoff that’s almost a laugh. “Dad always told us not to give a shit what the neighbors thought.”  Isn’t that just like Pete? 

ES Strickland, a boy that I made up, I love you

[efingart]

Just What I Needed - Chapter 24

ao3 | tumblr: One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Fifteen | Sixteen | Seventeen | Eighteen | Nineteen | Twenty | Twenty-One | Twenty-Two| Twenty-Three |

Frank Woods x CoD Bell

Woods rounded the corner quickly, his hand pressing into the banister as he propelled himself upward. Just ahead, Mason was taking each step two at a time.

“Fuck she’s fast! Was she always this fast?!” Mason exclaimed.

Woods didn’t respond. He was still in pain from the kick Bell had given him in the shoulder. It had come out of nowhere.

When he and Mason had brought her back to the apartment, she had been completely unconscious. Then he came back to her room, and she took him by surprise. Fully awake and ready for a fight.

At some point, she was on the ground, and her foot had landed square in the middle of his bad shoulder. If he hadn’t known better, he would have taken it personally. Just a lucky strike, he had to guess. Had to hope. Woods hadn’t had time to dwell on it because she had taken off running.

She was heading up the stairs before he knew it. Why up was anyone’s guess. It didn’t really matter. They just had to get to her before she did anything stupid. Likely she was hallucinating and thought she was somewhere else. Things could get dangerous real fast.

When he reached the top of the stairs, he found Mason there catching his breath at the door.

“Look,” Mason said, “She’s probably hallucinating. I don’t want to startle her. Hell, she might not even be able to see us.”

“Oh, she definitely could see me,” Woods said, thinking about the pain in his shoulder.

“Mason gently pushed the door open. Bell was standing only a few feet away. Her back was to the roof ledge. Hands in the air, she looked like she was talking to someone. Trying to stop them from doing something. But no one was there.

“Mason held up a hand telling Woods to stay back as he carefully approached Bell. She didn’t seem to notice him. Her gaze was fixed in front of her. The wind began to pick up, and her hair swirled around her. She didn’t seem to notice that either.

“-did everything you asked of me!” Bell wailed.

He didn’t have to wonder who she thought she was talking to. Adler. He had always had the impression that she hadn’t had time to negotiate with him. Beg for her life. That Adler just shot her, maybe even in the back. But he had faced her. After all the shit he put her through, he actually looked Bell in the eye and did it. 


“Bell," Mason said as he approached cautiously, "Adler's not here.”

Bell blinked. She turned her head slowly to look at Mason, still holding one hand up to keep the Adler, who wasn’t there, at bay. The other hand, she used to hold Mason back. But she stared at him as if he had materialized out of nowhere.

“He’s not real, Bell. I know-“

“Fuck you!” Bell exclaimed. She looked between Mason and the empty space where she likely thought Adler was standing. In a quieter voice that Woods could barely hear over the wind, she added, “You’re the reason why I’m like this.”

“He couldn’t tell who it was directed to, Adler or Mason. But then he realized Bell was staring hard at him.

Did she think he was someone else?

Bell took a step back. Even though she wasn't near the ledge, Woods knew she could bolt at any time. And if she didn’t realize where she was, she might end up accidentally propelling herself off the roof.

“Bell," Mason started again, "Even if you don't trust me. Just look around. There are always gaps where reality slips through. It's hard. It's fucking overwhelming-“

“Shut up," Bell choked out. Her voice was strained, breaking. Woods was too far to see, but he had a sense she might be crying.

“You think I’m an idiot?” Bell continued, “Maybe you were able to fool me once, but there’s no way. No way Mason and Woods would come for me. That's the reality."

“Mason’s shoulders dropped. He couldn’t hear it over the wind, but he was sure his friend just let out an exasperated sigh. Not that he’d ever let up. But the two of them were so damn stubborn they could be out here for hours.

"You don't have to believe me. But what's under your feet? Grass and dirt? Or dried rooftop tar? You know what you really feel, Bell."

“Bell muttered something in response that Woods couldn't quite catch. He saw Mason shift his weight impatiently. Mason knew what she was going through. He could commiserate with her, but his patience was always a little thin, even in the best situations.

Slowly, Woods stepped forward. He chose to head closer to where she seemed to think Adler was. As he moved, he wondered what Bell was seeing.

How many times had she imagined this?

She had so few memories she must have run through them over and over again in her head when she was alone in that prison facility.

When you’re locked up in a cell, sometimes all you have to think about is your past. And escaping. And those people who worked for Perseus had seemed intent on torturing her. They had drugged her recklessly too. They hadn’t cared a bit if she lost her mind.

Did they have her run through this over and over again? Just to torture her? What she had done to make her former pals hate her so much that they would devote so many months to torturing her. Even that blonde, Ivanova, played her part in the torture. But on that prison train, she and Bell had worked together.

What made them turn on each other?

Bell definitely saw him approach. She seemed to have forgotten about Adler and Mason. Her hard gaze was fixed on him. Woods was careful not to get too close. It was then he was sure; she thought he was one of those guards at the prison facility. She wasn’t seeing him as himself, just a hallucination meant to fuck with her.

“No,” Bell said, shaking her head. She pointed at Mason. “Him maybe, but you?” She shook her head again. Bell was looking Woods dead in the eye. “No, fucking way. Woods would-”

"Don't tell me what I would and wouldn't do," He interrupted her. His voice was firm, and she seemed taken aback by it.

Bell bit her lip. She kept her feet on the ground, but he could see her hips move as she shifted her weight. Her toes curled as she felt the rough texture of the rooftop. Her eyes widened briefly. Woods could only make an assumption about what might be running through her head. That what she felt under her feet didn’t match what she saw around her. That seeing him may have made her begin to doubt things.

Bell took a step back.

Fuck.

Woods exchanged a look with Mason.

“Lost so many people. Do anything to get them back. Mason coming back-“ He shook his head. He still wasn’t quite ready to talk about that one.

“And you? After everything you did? You’re-“

A hero?” Bell spat.

“Nah, that’s what-” Woods started. He waved his hand to indicate the city. “That’s what they say about- about people like us. But they don’t fucking know.”

They really don’t, do they? Civilians? No, fucking clue what it’s like.

If they weren’t calling him a baby killer, they were calling him a hero. He was neither. Why she thought he was going to say that was interesting. Maybe it was a word they had used, a way to try to pump her up, get her to believe them.

“After all the shit that was done to you. You could’ve- but you didn’t. Everything you went through. You’re one of us-” He said finally, gesturing between himself and Mason.

It was strange to admit. He couldn’t explore the feelings behind it at the moment, but it had been hard to say. Even though it was the truth.

Bell’s expression softened just slightly. Her hands lowered. Maybe her defenses were finally coming down.

“Look, we’re not stupid. We know everyone doesn’t see us as the good guys, right? Everything we’ve done hasn’t always been on the level, right? So, yeah if I’d have known who you were, what happened to you. If Mason had known? We’d have still come for you.”

“You’re just saying what you think I want to hear,” She shot back. But it was halfhearted.

“Bell, look, you really think they’d stand around having a conversation with you?” Mason interjected, “They wouldn’t just try to tackle you and bring you back? If you don’t believe us, fine. There are gaps where reality bleeds through.”

He could see Bell set her jaw, but she was definitely thinking it over. Allowing herself to be convinced. She was seeing the world around her for what it was, finally. He saw her toes curl up again. The way her eyes scanned the tarred roof. She looked up at the dark sky. Her eyes were focused when her gaze fell on the buildings around them. Bell turned. Carefully, she walked towards the ledge.

“Go slow. Put your hands out,” Mason warned.

He moved towards her, careful not to crowd her. Woods had to fight the urge to tackle her. Save her. But she had to see it for herself. They couldn’t force her and lose the little trust they had just built.

He watched from an unnerving distance as Bell put her hands out and touched the ledge. He let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding as she knelt down and leaned over the ledge to look down. Bell let out a small cry as she looked at the city around her.

It must have been unsettling as the hallucination melted away, and a whole city appeared before her. Woods moved closer. He could hear her clearly.

“West Berlin,” She said. Then she looked over her shoulder at Mason. “You came for me? I live here now?”

“Yeah, sorry we stuck you with that old man,” Mason said, thumbing toward Woods.

Woods made a derisive sound in response, drawing Bell’s attention to him. She looked at him like she was seeing him for the first time. Her eyes were suddenly clear and focused. It almost made him uncomfortable to be looked at like that.

“You good?” He asked. She nodded.“All right, can you get the fuck away from there?” He said, chuckling a little, “You’re gonna give me a damn heart attack.”

Woods helped her sit on the edge of the tub. He leaned over to run the water until it was warm and placed a stopper in.

“Put your feet in there,” He directed.

The soles of her feet were practically black. He wasn’t even sure she realized how dirty her feet had been as he had stopped her seconds before she attempted to hop in bed.

Wordlessly, Bell complied. She hadn’t said much after the roof, just followed along with him, her hand in a vice grip on his shirt. Making sure he was still there. It was something he was familiar with.

Occasionally, Mason would need a reminder as well and just reach out for his friend to give him a tap on the shoulder. Or a shove. Whatever helped to ground him. Woods knew to respond in kind. Reach out as well. It had taken some getting used to at first. Not something he was used to. His family had never been affectionate that he could remember, but he grew to like it.

The tub began to fill with water. He stopped it when her feet were submerged. The water began to turn gray and swirled around her ankles. She leaned forward to watch it change color. He knew her fascination with it was because of the drugs and that she might actually be seeing something more interesting than gray water. At least part of this evening wouldn’t be a complete nightmare for her. He grabbed a washcloth from the top of a pile of towels and dipped it in the water, then picked up a bottle filled with pinkish liquid and poured it over the wet cloth. It had a soft floral scent to it.

Woods sat on the edge of the tub. Bell was gently kicking her feet in the water, watching with fascination at the ripples created by the movement. He looked her over. The hair on the back of her head was wild, tangled by the wind.

Woods reached out a hand to comb it smooth with his fingers. He wasn’t sure how she would react, but Bell closed her eyes at the touch. Her kicking slowed to a stop. When the tangles were gone, he dropped his hand. Woods thought he heard Bell sigh, but when he looked back at her, her face was neutral.

He then leaned over the tub and reached for her ankle. She curled her toes under, likely trying to hide the fact that she was missing toenails.

“What are you, embarrassed?” He chuckled a little. Bell didn’t respond. Then he picked her foot up a few inches out of the water he scrubbed at the sole. Even her calves and shins were streaked with dirt.

“With all the shit I’ve seen- Don’t you remember jungle rot? Hell, you should have seen me when I-“ He paused. He was trying to be reassuring. Let her know he didn’t care about a few missing toenails. But he wasn’t sure it was landing.

“I just can relate, is all.”

His feet had been in worse shape than this when he crawled out of that camp at Da Nang. He hadn't even thought to be embarrassed. And really, she was just missing a few toenails. His comment seemed to relax her. She uncurled her toes, and she watched him continue his work impassively.

Soon, the towel was nearly stained black. Woods dipped it in the water and squeezed it out, dripping dirty water into the tub. When he looked back at Bell, he caught her scrunching up her nose in disgust and smiled.

So there was some of the old her in there somewhere.

Then he picked up her other foot and started to scrub.

“Why?” She blurted out. This made him chuckle.

“Maybe because you were running around barefoot?”

Bell shook her head but seemed unable to complete her thought. He gave her time to think as he finished working on her other foot. Then he drained the tub and used the sprayer on her feet. Woods washed his hands.

Then he grabbed a towel and sat back on the edge of the tub laying the towel across his lap.

“Come on, gotta dry them now.”

She didn’t move. Instead, she stared intently at her feet and the last few streams of water heading down the drain.

“I hurt you,” Bell said finally. He blinked in surprise. He supposed she had, but it didn’t hurt anymore. Stung like a bitch when she had done it.

“You just did what you thought you had to.”

She gave him a look that seemed to say she wasn’t buying that.

“You still got a lot of fight in you. Never lose it,” Woods said. He patted his thigh and she complied, propping her ankle up on the towel.

“I could have just taken a shower.”

“Thought you might have had enough of showers.”

She actually laughed then. It wasn’t a great laugh, an exhausted one if anything, but he’d take it. And after everything that happened? Good to know she could laugh. And that she wasn’t pissed off at him. Or at least not yet. Maybe when everything settled in, she would be.

He dried off her other foot in silence. When he was done, he stood up next to her and offered his good arm to help her stand. It surprised him how unsteady she was on her feet now.

Was this the same woman who had just outrun both him and Mason on the stairs?

"Come on, I know you've been sleeping for a while, but you still gotta be exhausted."

"How long?"

"About a day, brought you back yesterday morning. Early.”

She nodded. Whatever she did with this information, he couldn't tell.

Woods brought her to her bed, lifted the edge of the blanket, and helped her in. Then he pulled the covers over her.

“I’ll be right back, ok?”

Bell sat up then. She made a noise in protest.

"I'm just gonna get you something to eat," He said, thumbing over his shoulder at the door. Her eyes darted to the door. She gripped the blanket in her fists, knuckles going white. Probably an effect of the drugging making her anxious.

"I won't be gone for long, ok?"

She nodded, but he could tell it made her uncomfortable. He left the door ajar so she could hear him working away in the kitchen. Keep her connected to reality.

Mason was in the kitchen making himself a sandwich. He looked as exhausted as Woods felt.

“Want one?” Mason asked, keeping his voice low. Woods shook his head.

Mason nodded towards Bell’s door. “How’s the patient?”

"She's ok. Getting her some toast."

Mason looked at the open door.

"She might still be having trouble telling the shit that's happening in her brain to reality," He said, "It doesn't just switch off. Even when she's not on the drugs."

Woods nodded as he put two bread slices in the toaster. He knew it, but he also knew Mason needed to say it. He was the best advocate for Bell’s situation. He’d be the voice he himself had needed. A gap Woods could have filled if he had been around back then.

"We gotta stop them from drugging her,” Mason said firmly.

"Already on it. Got Park on our side too."

"Hudson?"

“He called. We had a conversation."

Mason nodded. He knew what that meant.

"Adler?"

That made them both chuckle. Adler would have to go along with it whether he liked it or not at this point. Woods had managed to be somewhat civil in his conversation with Hudson. He needed him to understand the gravity of the situation, and now he and Park were looking into alternative solutions.

Mason yawned loudly, he picked up his plate, and began moving toward his room.

"Hitting the hay?"

"Yeah, might as well, right? You got her, right? No more late-night roof excursions?” Mason joked, then he glanced at the clock, “Fuck, early morning, I mean.”

"Yeah, I got her."

The toast popped up. Woods piled the two pieces on a plate and cut them in half diagonally. Filling up a glass with water, he took both to Bell’s room and set them on the nightstand. When he entered, he noticed that she was still sitting straight up, her wide eyes watching the door, waiting for him to come back. He sat on the edge of the bed and tapped her hand, then pointed at the plate. Finally, her posture relaxed, and she picked up the toast.

“Not exactly exciting. Not sure what kind of condition your stomach is in. Last thing you need is to feel worse."

Bell nodded and took a few tentative bites of toast. She seemed to decide her stomach was fine, and in a moment, the toast was gone.

“Nothing about your appetite has changed, huh? Get you a steak next.”

One corner of her mouth turned up at this comment.

“Don’t forget to drink your water, ok?” Woods said as he took her plate and stood up to leave. Bell tensed again, and her eyes widened.

“Frank-“ She started to say but didn’t continue. He knew she didn’t want him to leave her.

It was how it was going to be with her until she felt comfortable.

“Yeah, all right, hang on,” Woods said. He left and set the plate down on the kitchen counter. He went to his room to change into shorts and a t-shirt.

“The hell are you doing?” He muttered to himself as he pulled the shirt over his head. But he knew the answer. She wouldn’t be in this situation if he had just checked his ego and come for her earlier.

But it wasn’t just the guilt, was it?

He tucked his pillow under his arm.

When he came back into her room, he stood by the bed.

“Scoot over.”

If Bell seemed surprised by this, she didn’t show it. She just shifted closer to the wall making room for him. He pulled the covers back.

“This is only to keep you connected to reality," He said, tossing his pillow against the headboard next to hers. Then he got in. There wasn’t a lot of room on the bed, so he threw his arm around her and pulled her into him.

“I’m sorry,” She said quietly. Her voice had a distant tone to it like she was drifting to sleep. Woods wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for this time, maybe everything.

“Yeah, so am I,” He said. But he could tell she was already sleeping.

Careful not to disturb her, he settled in. And soon he was asleep, too.





It was mid-morning when Bell exited her room. Woods was actually surprised to even see her up this early. He had almost expected her to sleep off the day.

But there she was fully dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. She had pulled her hair into a short ponytail. And if she hadn’t looked so pale it would almost be like the past few weeks hadn’t even happened.

“I’ll get you some coffee,” Woods said.

He folded his paper in half, laying it over the arm of his chair. Standing he walked into the kitchen. The pot he brewed that morning had long gone cold. He dumped the water and started a fresh pot. In the meantime Bell had wandered into the kitchen. She was looking at everything around her like she was seeing it for the first time.

The coffee pot made a gurgling sound as it finished brewing. Woods grabbed a mug for her from the cabinet and after pouring the coffee in handed it her. He refilled his own cup and moved back to the living room. Bell, on the other hand, was hovering between the living room and the kitchen. He could sense some hesitation in her, like her first day here.

"Come on, this is still your home."

Bell nodded and took a seat on the couch. She looked around at the stacks of books piled up on the floor.

"What are all the books for?"

"I uh-" He paused, "Thought they might help you figure out a name for yourself. If that’s, uh, something you're still interested in."

She set her mug down and slipped off the couch onto the pillow on the floor. Bell looked down at the pillow as if she just noticed it.

"You never moved it."

"Nah, I knew you'd use it again."

Bell raised her eyebrows at this, but said nothing. Instead she focused her attention at the closest stack of books. Picking one of them up she brushed her hand over the cover. It was red, old, with a linen cover. The spine had long been broken and some of the pages were falling out. Carefully, she opened it.

"You got these for me?” Bell asked, not looking up from the book in her hands, “When?"

It was a funny question since she was clearly examining the check out card.

"Been a week or two,” Woods said with a shrug, “Who can keep track of the time?"

This time she looked up at him, again she studying him with that strange expression on her face. As if she was trying to see through him. It was like she expected him to turn into something else. Or to tell her he's fucking with her.

In fact, she probably was thinking that. Still unsure about what was real around her. Still unable to trust that he was being honest with her. At first it made him angry- how could she think he was like that? But there was nothing he could do to fix it. The uncertainty was internal. It wasn't a reflection of his character. The only thing he could do was be consistent. And maybe she’d grow to trust him again.

"Hey," He said as he leaned forward placing a hand on her shoulder to help ground her, "You hungry?"

At first, she tensed at his touch, her shoulder flexed as if she wanted to shove his hand off. But it only last for a moment before she relaxed again.

Finally, she nodded.

They both headed to the kitchen. Woods opened the fridge.

"Shit, that's right.” He said as he peered in remembering now that no one had bought food in some time. There was some deli meat, maybe an egg, but not much else.

"I can make myself something-" Bell started. She stepped in front of him and looked through the fridge herself.

"What did you eat?" Bell asked.

"Uhhh," He stammered. He hadn’t actually eaten anything, yet.

"Frank-"

"What I was worried about you!" 


Bell sighed and got out a frying pan.

"Hey, you should be taking it easy."

"I'm fucking sick of taking it easy, I want to do something that isn't just sitting on my ass. What else do we have here?" She opened the pantry.

"Don't you have any food in this apartment?" She asked, though she definitely was not expecting an answer. “Get the eggs and milk,” Bell ordered him.

”Yes, ma’am,” Woods said with a chuckle. He placed them on the counter.

From the pantry he saw she picked up some cinnamon and sugar and she placed those on the counter with the authority of someone who knows what they're doing.

Bell grabbed the milk, giving him a look when she saw how the container was nearly empty. She poured it into a bowl. The eggs she cracked and added to the bowl, whisking them together with the milk.

"Is Alex here?" She asked as she sliced up bread.

"Yeah." He was trying to suppress a grin, but she must have caught him.

"What?"

"Just haven't seen you like this in a while."

"Oh, get out." She said as she shoved him out of the kitchen.

He took a seat on one of the stools and watched her work. Bell plopped the slices of bread into an egg and milk mixture. As she watched the liquid quickly soak through the bread she sighed.

“What?”

“Just not the bread I’d use for this.”

“We could go to the grocery store later. Get better food. We need food anyway.”

Bell didn’t respond. Her mouth was a firm line. She plopped some of the soaked bread into a hot frying pan. She probably wasn’t looking forward to finding herself in a crowded store full of people. It had been overwhelming for him hadn’t it? That’s why when he did go, he always shopped at night. As late as the store would let him. He wasn’t the only one.

”An all-night grocery store,” Woods added.

“Yeah? They have those?” Bell asked, her tone hopeful. She did not look up from the pan.

“Y’know, it’s only hard at first,” He said. He too was staring at the frying pan, watching the bread cook. Whatever she said, it smelled great to him.

“Getting used to being around people again. People who don’t want to hurt you.”

Bell blinked a few times. She kept her eyes on the pan. Then she flipped the bread.

“It- it gets easier?” She asked the pan.

“It gets easier.”

Bell let out a soft sigh. He watched her plate the first few slices and sprinkle cinnamon and sugar on top.

“It would be better with syrup and powdered sugar,” She said, making it clear to him that she didn’t approve of the food she made. He knew Bell wouldn’t ordinarily stand for sub-par French toast.

“And better bread. Butter.”

All the same, she cut the slices in half diagonally and served them to Woods. The next batch she wrapped in foil and put in the fridge for whenever Mason got up. Woods was nearly done with his when she finished making hers. It was still pretty good food. Nice to eat anything that wasn’t takeout for once. But he didn’t tell her that. She would probably remind him how much better it could be with decent ingredients. Some of the personality she had before, when she was Bell, when he first met her, was coming out again. Assertive and stubborn. She liked things a certain way. He wondered if this is how she had been before.

Probably.

She plated her own food and sat down next to him. She took a bite of it and made a face.

“It’s not that bad.”

“I make better food than this,” Bell insisted.

“I’ll go grocery shopping.”

She took a disdainful bite of her French toast and chewed slowly. Woods had to hold back a chuckle. She was acting like it was something truly distasteful.

“I can order something,” He offered.

“No, I’m not wasting food.” Bell stubbornly stabbed her fork at a piece of the toast, then another, stacking them on the tines. He understood what she meant. Food was still food, you don’t just throw it out because you don’t like it.

“I’ll go with you,” She said, determinedly.

“Yeah?”

“You’ll be with me right?”

“Won’t leave you alone for a second.”

“After everything that’s happened you’d think I wouldn’t be nervous about something as simple shopping.”

“It’s different. A guy pulls a knife on you; you know what to do. A crowd of people? You’re just not used to it.”

“It gets easier?”

“It gets easier.”

When she finished he grabbed her plate and his and began washing the dishes. As he scrubbed the pan, he looked over his shoulder and said, “Take a look at those books ok? You don’t have to pick a name today, but I gotta have something to call you.”

Bell only nodded in response and left him to finish the cleaning up.

When he emerged from the kitchen he found Bell sitting on the pillow. Her legs were bent, shins resting on the edge of the coffee table, and her back against the couch. She had a book resting on her knees. Next to her was a pile of books she had already gone through.

“These are some interesting books you picked,” Bell said without looking up.

Most of the books were collections about famous women. Some biographies, in case she wanted to know more about who she was naming herself after, and then baby name books. The librarian had given him an odd look when he requested those, but he wasn’t worried about what she thought.

“Just wanted you to have all the options. Or I could just call you Vicky.”

“Vicky?”

“Yeah, short for Victoria.”

“Oh.” He had only been joking, but a look crossed her face like she was considering it. Sometimes she took things so seriously it made him want to laugh. But then she might think he was laughing at her. As she thought he settled back into his chair and grabbed a book off the top of a pile.

“No,” She decided, “I can’t use her name. I’m not her-“

Bell trailed off. He gave her a curious look and so she continued.

“I had a dream about her.”

“Thought you always dreamed about her.”

“No, I mean I do, but-”

Bell was looking at him now. Her brown eyes wide, shining.

“This time I wasn’t her.”


“You want to tell me about it?”

She shook her head and looked back to her book.

”You never have to tell me anything but if you ever feel like talkin-“

She had raised her head again, thinking it over. At least she was considering it, but in the end, she said nothing.

They read silently together and new piles of books grew around them. At least they were getting through the task fairly quickly. Occasionally, Woods would read a name aloud. She would take a moment to seriously consider it, then shake her head and go back to reading. A few names they even tried out, but eventually they were all rejected. Some she said out loud, but the moment they left her lips she knew they were wrong. He thought some of them had been pretty nice. But she had to be happy with them, that’s what mattered.

They read in silence for a while. Eventually Mason got up. He grabbed his French toast and ate it cold, much to Bell’s annoyance. He did try to tell her it was good, but Bell gave him an earful.

“All right all right,” Mason relented, his hands up, “You’ve convinced me. I’ll let you make me some good food sometime.”

“So is this what you’re doing today? Can’t wait to hear your brand new name. How about Alexandra? No?”

Bell gave him a look.

“Not helping,” Woods said without looking up from what he was reading.

“I’m kidding, I’m sure whatever you come up with will be great.” He left soon after. Mason had been away from Em and David for the past few days. Em was definitely accustomed to it having been on the job herself. But it didn’t mean she had to like it. And that she didn’t worry. But Woods was glad he had called him in for help. He’s not sure he would have been able to get Bell down from that roof on his own.

Woods flipped through his book. He wasn’t sure if he was really helping her by reading too, but it felt like leaving her to do it all alone might be too overwhelming. In fact the whole idea of it was overwhelming.

How do people pick out names?

Bell shifted on the cushion. She stood up, still holding open her book in her hands and did a slow paced lap around the apartment. Having her back completely changed the feeling of the apartment. It felt warmer, more inviting. And the idea of not having to come back to a cold and empty space again? He could definitely get used to it.

“How you doin?” Woods asked, looking up and watching her pace. He considered standing up himself. He set his book over his thigh and tilted his torso forward to give his back a good crack. Bell sighed.

“That sounds good.”

“Yeah?” Woods asked, a grin spread across his face, “Want me to pick you up? Crack your back?” He wasn’t actually sure he could do it with his shoulder still healing.

“Mm tempting,” She said as she completed another circuit. She rested one of her hands on her lower back. “How do people figure this stuff out?” She groaned, “All these names none of them seem right.”

“Maybe when you find the right one you’ll know.”

“I hope so.”

“What about in those books you were reading for fun? Any good names in there?”

She stopped walking to think it over.

“Not unless you think Meg suits me. Wendy? Mercédès?”

“Nah, never mind.”

Bell continued her reading and walking. As she did another lap he heard the floorboards creak behind his chair. And then stop. She had paused just behind him. He felt her fingers rest just on the skin at the base of his neck. It made the hairs on the back of his head stand on end. With one finger she pried his shirt away from the shoulder revealing his healing skin.

“This was the thermite?” Bell asked quietly.

“Yeah, the molinya.” Woods turned to look at her.

She let his shirt fall back into place, but let her hand linger for a moment before continuing her walk.

“Can’t help but feel like it’s my fault.”

“How could it be your fault?”

“If I hadn’t said anything about Duga-“

“Hey, it was a good thing,” Woods insisted, “Hell you even warned us. It wasn’t you. It would have been worse without you.”

Bell came around and sat down on the arm of the couch just across from him.

She could never just sit could she? Always had to be on the floor, or with her feet up, or like this, on the arm of the couch.

“What you found there- the recording. That’s what I saw in my dream. I saw Victoria record it.”

He watched her closely but said nothing. Bell looked away from him, her eyes narrowed. She tucked a loose hair behind her ear. He knew that gesture, she was thinking something through, gathering her thoughts.

“She seemed like she was, um, at war with herself. Maybe the gravity of the situation was hitting her.”

“What do you think she was doing?”

“Nova-6.” Bell sighed, “There were those sleeper agents right? And all that unaccounted for Nova-6. At least at the time.”

“But you don’t know for sure.”

“What else could it be? Victoria cracked the programming. Драгович.” Bell looked down at her hands in her lap.

“At the very least it’s good to know she hesitated. Some humanity left,” She said with a sigh.

“Never went off, though, did it?”

“What?”

“You think she was trying to use Dragovich’s sleeper agents in the states to activate those old Nova-6 stockpiles on civilians? But that didn’t happen.”

“Right, but that was 13 years ago. What’s even the half-life on that stuff?”

“A lot longer than 13 years.”

“How do you know that?”

“Just one of those things.”

“Frank, why doesn’t it bother you? Even if it failed, she still tried it. She broke the code-“ Bell stopped short, her eyes widened, and she jumped up from the arm of the couch. “Fuck, the notebook!”

“Notebook?”

“Yeah, she had all her stuff encoded and written in a book. She put it into a safe at Duga. Fuck. If I had fucking remembered sooner-”

“Oh, we got that.”

“You did?!” Bell threw her hands up. “Why the fuck was I trying to reverse engineer the recording if you had m- Victoria’s notebook?”

“Adler, took it.”

Bell’s shoulders slumped, and she took her seat again. But she accepted this answer. They both knew that it would be difficult to convince Adler to give her anything from her old life. Especially if it contained secrets, it wasn’t completely unreasonable. Adler, personally, had good reason not to trust her. He thought Woods and Mason were being naive.

“Did you get anything else?”

“Yeah, actually, I did. Hang on.”

He stood up and went to his room. From the nightstand drawer he pulled out a photo. He hadn’t been certain when he found it, but if there was any possibility that it was hers he wanted to make sure she got it. Who knew what Adler would do with it. When he came back to the living room he handed it to her.

It was a small black and white photo. Faded. And a little burned on the edges. The photo was of two girls. The younger one looking like she wanted to run off and play. The older had a serious expression on her face as she stared down the camera.

“They look familiar to you at all?”

Bell took the picture. At first her face showed no expression. Then she passed a finger over the smaller girl in the photograph.

“Where did you get this?”

“In the barracks. There was a private room. It looked like someone had tried to torch the place. Like they were really pissed off at whoever was supposed to be in there. Everything was wrecked. But this was tucked behind the nightstand. Hidden. Like someone knew it might get destroyed.” 


Bell clutched the picture to her chest. Sensing she might need a moment he stood up.

“I’m gonna get some more coffee. Want some?”

Bell nodded.

There was no telling when that fire had occurred. It could have easily been after Solovetsky. But it nagged at him. Victoria, had tucked it away for safekeeping for whatever reason. Maybe it was wishful thinking on his part but her hesistation about the recording just added to his suspicion that she may not have been a willing participant in everything. And setting fire to her room? That was an act of rage. That maybe at the end she had a change of heart. That she betrayed Perseus. He poured the coffee into their mugs and headed out to the living room. Bell was just exiting her room.

“I put it in there for safekeeping.”

“Yeah, it’s yours,” He said with a shrug. It was funny now to have confirmation that the photo was actually hers. Seeing her as a kid. Hard to think that anyone he ever worked with were kids once. Hell, they probably had the same trouble with him, imagining him born with a full beard and tattoos. ==

Bell took the mug and curled up into one corner of the couch with a different book. He took his place on his chair again, picking up where he left off.

The stack of unread books was getting smaller. They’d have to make another trip to the library at this rate. Or find some other method for name-choosing. Woods could feel his eyes glazing over. It was a lot of reading for anyone. Even Bell seemed to be losing stamina. They had depleted the coffee again and she was in the kitchen making another pot.

In his lap he had a book open about famous figures from World War II. A name jumped out at him that made him chuckle. He sat up straighter to read the passage. At that moment Bell had come back in and was setting his coffee on the table.

“What’s up?”

“Just a name I recognize.”

“Old friend?” She asked, leaning over to look at the book. He caught a whiff of something floral in the air when moved closer to him.

“Nah, no way. Come on, I was just a kid then.” He pointed to a photo of a young woman in uniform. She was smiling and standing next to Eleanor Roosevelt.

“Russian sniper. Did a tour with Elenor Roosevelt, uh the First Lady, in the 40s after World War II. I remember seeing it in the papers when I was a kid. She killed so many they nicknamed her Lady Death. What I remember is how much the papers liked to talk about how she didn’t wear pretty clothes and makeup. Kind of funny, did all that and what do the papers care about? How good she looks in their photos.”

Bell perched herself on the arm of his chair and looked at the photograph. He caught another whiff of that floral scent. It was nice. Then he realized she must have taken another shower this morning. He hadn’t really noticed until now. But he could understand it. Imprisonment kind of has a smell that sticks with you, even if other people couldn’t smell it.

“That’s her?” Bell asked, shaking him from his thoughts.

“Yep.”

“Lyudmila Pavlichenko,” Woods said.

“I’m sure I heard of her at some point,” She said. Bell placed her hand on the book moving the page to read it better.

“Probably.” He looked up and watched her read. She at least seemed interested. It gave him the spark of an idea.

“What about that for you?”

“Lyudmila? You think I look like a Lyudmila?” It was a genuine question.

“I dunno,” He shrugged,” Tough gal, tough gal. Maybe use a nickname. Lyuda? Lydia?”

She raised her eyebrows and glanced at him. Then she looked back at the page. With her thumb she covered part of the name in the headline.

“How about this?”

He looked at the remaining letters.

“Mila?”

She looked back at him searching his face for a reaction.

“Mila,” He said again to her.

“Mila,” She said back. He nodded.

“Yeah, it suits you. At least try it on. If you don’t like it, we’ll pick up where we left off.”

“No more, Bell?”

He shook his head. She was looking at the book again. Skimming Lyudmila Pavlichenko’s bio again.

He tapped her knee to get her attention.

“So what do you say tomorrow that we take your name out for a spin?”

“What does that mean?” She asked brows knitted.

“Didn’t I promise to take you to a record store?”

Mila looked uncertain. As she wasn’t sure if he was joking or not.

“Ok."