#hell I barely know anything about Mason

[mountttmase]

When You Know - Part 2

Note - i can’t believe we’re at part two already 😭 not sure if this takes the turn you were hoping for but i hope you all enjoy and we can have a big bitch afterwards 🤭 feedback is appreciated as always 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 2.6k

Warnings - Angst

‘You’re doing so well, Mum,’ your midwife told you, but you couldn’t say you agreed with her. ‘Not too long, and we’ll do the last push, okay?’ She grinned, but all you could do was nod at this point as you were so exhausted.

‘Where the hell is he?’ Debbie scoffed through gritted teeth. Her hand squeezing yours just as tightly as you were squeezing hers, but it’s like you couldn’t feel it anymore. The only thing you could focus on was mustering up enough strength for your final push, and as your next contraction started brewing, you felt the tears you’d been holding back falling from your eyes.

‘I know we’re not together anymore, but I really thought he’d be here,’ you told her quietly. No emotion left in your voice as you didn’t have the strength, but that was all it took for her to let go of your hand and pull her phone out from her pocket.

‘That’s it, I’m calling him again.’

‘Wait, Debbie, please don’t go,’ you sobbed, and thankfully, she realised how much you needed her right now as she was back in an instant with her hand firmly grasped around yours.

Debbie was all you had right now. Your own parents hadn’t left London long ago and were still on the way up, and since Mason was making your fears a reality, the last thing you wanted was for your only source of comfort to disappear.

You wanted to sob your little heart out from how much pain you were in, but you knew you couldn't. You had to be strong not only for yourself but for the little person you were about to meet, and even though you’d been putting on a brave face for months now and you were on the edge of crumbling.

The possibility of being a single parent wasn’t on your mind at all when you’d first discovered you were pregnant. Mason was thrilled by the news at first, and his excitement was rubbing off on you like nothing else, so when his behaviour started to change, you noticed it instantly.

It was subtle at first. Forgetting to kiss you goodbye or letting you know he was going to be home late, and any physical touch from him was out the window as the days flew by, but when he missed your first scan six weeks after you’d told him your news, you knew something was seriously wrong.

You tried talking to him, letting him know how disappointed you were and how you felt so alone in something that you were meant to be doing together, and even though he promised to change and told you that he was just a bit busy, you knew it was just words. The pair of you barely spoke as he never asked you anything or even tried with you anymore, and whenever you tried to make any conversation with him, you were met with one-word answers or just nods of his head.

You questioned yourself at first, wondering if your pregnancy was changing you into someone he didn’t like anymore. Maybe he didn’t find you attractive anymore or funny or… anything. You had no idea how to handle it, so you took each day as it came to see if he’d wake up and suddenly be back to your Mason again.

Debbie was the first person to call him out on his behaviour. She popped up to see you both as a surprise, but when she arrived, it was just you like always. Her confusion at her son’s behaviour made you break down and tell her everything, and when he returned home later that night, she ripped into him.

It didn’t make a difference, and you knew it wouldn’t. He apologised at the time, but you knew it was just for his mum's benefit and that as soon as she was gone, you’d be lonely once more.

You’d just passed the six-month mark when you weren’t at your breaking point. The both of you living practically separate lives, and one night when he came home late, you told him that he either shaped up or it was done. Hoping that a bit of a shock would snap him back to reality, but it had the opposite effect. He told you he’d leave and give you some space as he didn’t want to change, and you knew then it was over and had been for some time.

The first few nights were tough, and you knew bubba was feeling it too. Practically doing somersaults as you cried non-stop, but it was a great reminder that you had something to live for. Your little bump was the only thing you cared about now, and you were ready to take drastic steps to make sure you were ready for their arrival.

You were looking for flats as you knew you couldn’t stay here on your own much longer when Mason dropped by to get some more of his things. You must have left the laptop open as you were cooking, and when he was getting ready to go again, he took a seat at the island opposite you.

‘You’re moving out?’ he asked gently. His eyes were fixed on the table, and you realised he hadn’t looked at you at all lately. Even before he left, it had been an age since you’d seen his brown eyes, and you couldn’t deny you missed them a bit.

‘Well, I can’t stay here, can I?’

‘Why not?’ He questioned like it was the most simple thing in the world, and you were starting to get a little irate. There would be no reason for you to leave if it wasn’t for him, and you didn’t need him asking silly questions when you were already stressed enough as it was.

‘This is your house, not mine,’ you told him pointedly. ‘I need my own space so I can be ready for when the baby gets here and not have to think about you leaving us everywhere I look-‘

‘I’ll sort it, okay?’ He cut in. Wincing at your words slightly as you’d snapped at him, but you didn’t care one bit. You wanted him to feel how hurt you were, but you weren’t sure if he had any feelings at all anymore.

He stuck to his word though, and at the end of the week, you had keys to your very own little cottage. Mason had bought it outright and told you it was an investment for the future, and whilst you weren’t entirely comfortable with him paying for it, you were just happy to be out of his house and the place you once called home.

It wasn’t too far from Mason, about a 15-minute car drive, and once you were all moved in you only had just under two months to get prepared for everything. Thankfully, you were surrounded by the most supportive friends and family, which included Mason's family, but Mason himself practically disappeared off the face of the earth for you as soon as he’d handed over the keys. Only checking in every so often to see if you needed anything and as much as it hurt you, you understood. Talking to him literally felt like someone was taking an axe to your heart, and you wanted as much space from him as you could get.

Having said that, you didn’t think he wouldn’t be here for such a big moment. You’d hadn’t spoken about it obviously but that was also because you didn’t think you had to make sure he was going to be at the birth of his first child.

The closer you got to finally pushing your baby out, the more you realised how much you didn’t need him. That you were strong and capable and didn’t have time to think about Mason or what he might be up to. There was someone else who needed your attention.

You still remember the sound of their cry as your baby was born before they were placed on your chest. Debbie wailing along next to you as she looked down at them before telling you how proud she was of you and how perfect your little baby was.

It was an hour later when Mason eventually decided to show up, and if looks could kill, then Mason would be a goner. Debbie staring him out as he made his way over and to anyone else he probably seemed pretty nonchalant and unbothered, but you could tell from the way he was twiddling his thumbs that he was nervous and not sure how to act around you all.

‘I’ll leave you to it,’ Debbie told you. Squeezing your hand just before she left, but she simply walked past Mason without a second glance.

You kept your eyes trained on him. Watching as he quietly and carefully walked over to the crib your little bundle of joy was wrapped up in, and you knew his eyes had fallen to the name written above his head.

Discussing a name had become impossible in the end. You’d had a few ideas floating around, but he never wanted to talk about it and in the end you made the decision for both of you and picked a name you sort of knew he liked.

‘Hey, Freddie,’ he whispered, reaching down to stroke his cheek lightly, and you knew he was tearing up from the way he spoke to him.

‘You can pick him up if you’d like,’ you whispered, realising he must be feeling a little awkward and unsure, but he just shook his head.

‘It’s okay,’ he gulped. Taking a seat in the armchair next to the crib so he could still look at him, but you noticed he didn’t make any other attempt to touch him. ‘I don’t want to wake him up and make it a faff for you later.’

You felt awkward, sat in silence as the pair of you watched over him, and you felt your mood sink even lower as the seconds ticked past. Not once did he ask how you were or how it went, no sorry for not being here and making you go through this alone, and you could feel your eyes filling up again, but you refused to cry whilst he was here.

You loved each other once, at least you’d loved him, and it felt like none of it had ever meant anything to him ever.

Now this was all that remained. Two people sat in silence as they watched the product of their love that no longer existed.

The door burst open just as you were about to speak. Your parents rushed straight over to you, as Mason stood up awkwardly and tried to make himself as out of the way as possible. They had always liked Mason but were disappointed in how things had ended between you, and Mason knew it too.

‘I’ll come back later, yeah?’ Mason nodded towards you. Slipping out of the room as quietly as he could so he could leave you alone with your family, but your heart seemingly went with him.

You didn’t get much sleep that night after everyone had gone. Sitting with Freddie in your lap so you could look at him peacefully and finally take him in after a crazy day full of people and high emotions, and now his face has settled a bit, you released he was the perfect mix of you and Mason.

‘Hey little man, I’m so glad you’re here,’ you whispered as his little eyes opened for just a moment. ‘Just you and me against the world, yeah? We’re gonna have so much fun together.’

Your finger was hovering over the call button when you heard a knock at the door late the next morning. You figured it was one of the nurses coming to check on you to send you home, but when you called for them to come in, you were surprised to see Mason walking through with a car seat dangling from his fingers.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘I figured you both needed a ride home,’ he gulped. Placing the seat by the end of the bed on the floor as his eyes found Freddie’s, who was peacefully cradled in your arms. ‘I wasn’t sure when that would be, but I thought I could wait with you?’ ‘

‘I don't think it’ll be too much longer,’ you nodded. ‘Will you take him so I can pack my bag?’

‘Shouldn’t I be doing that? You just gave birth; you should be resting.’

‘I’m just putting things in a bag, it’s fine,’ you told him. Wondering if there was a reason he didn’t want to hold Freddie, but you knew as soon as he did he wouldn't want to let him go, just like you didn’t. ‘Please just take him.’

‘Okay,’ he whispered, and you could sense his nervousness, so you guided him to the armchair he had occupied yesterday so you could place Freddie in his arms. Initially, he remained stiff, but as you began packing up, he gradually relaxed. Reaching up to gently stroke his cheek with his finger again and you could hear him whispering softly to him when you sat down. Looking up at you in a way he hadn’t done in ages, and when you smiled at him, he returned it softly. ‘He’s perfect.’

‘He is, isn’t he?’ you hummed, looking down at him as Freddie’s eyes flicked between the pair of you. ‘If you don’t like his name, we can—‘

‘I love it, it suits him.’

You couldn’t say anything more. Your midwife came in and let you know you were god to go. After a quick tutorial on how to get Freddie into his car seat properly, Mason was helping you off the bed so you could leave.

You hadn't touched him in a long time, not even for months before you left, so the feel of his hand grasping yours made you weak. Keeping your eyes glued to the floor, you tried not to squeeze his hand too tightly. But as soon as you were up and ready to go, he pulled his hand from yours and picked up Freddie’s chair to take him out.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket as you left. Your parents were on standby to come and get you, so you figured it was them asking how things were going. But when you looked, it was Debbie's name that flashed up on screen.

After talking to Debbie, you shot your mum a quick text to let her know Mason was taking you home and you’d let them know later to come over. Thinking Mason would want to stay and spend time with Freddie, but as soon as everything was inside, you could see him hovering by the door.

‘I can’t stay. I’ve got an event tonight. Benny sorted it for me, and I can’t back out, but maybe I could pop over tomorrow?’ He told you. Even though you felt a little let down, you understood.

‘Yeah, okay,’ you nodded.

‘Maybe we could get a proper routine in place or something tomorrow? So everything’s shared?’

‘Okay,’ you whispered. Gulping down an upset lump in your throat, as it still hurt you that you’d have to figure this all out in the first place. This wasn’t what you pictured at all: shared visits and two separate houses whilst you ferried your child back and forth. You wanted to be one family who worked things out together, but him asking to sort a routine out suddenly put everything into place for you. You’d never have that and the quicker you got used to it the better.

‘Night then, y/n?’ he nodded, turning on his heel to leave. As the door shut, you felt your heart break for the millionth time.

[janeyseymour]

You Matter To Me- pt 2

part 1

Summary: You fall into a routine with Melissa as your impending divorce takes over your life.

WC: ~2.6k

Melissa holds onto you, without an ounce of selfishness as you tell her the horrors of your life. She wraps you up in her arms and holds on tight. She doesn’t pull away, she doesn’t look at your face, and she doesn’t try to kiss you. All she does is stay there as long as you’ll let her, just like she promised.

For once in your life, the things that you’re saying… you feel like they matter to the redhead.

On the outside, your coworker is calm and collected. But on the inside? She’s absolutely seething. Melissa feels a fire starting in her heart. How dare someone treat anyone, but specifically you- sweet and lovely you- in such horrid ways? And it’s not even like this is something that has been going on for a short amount of time… God dealt you a horrible hand, and you’ve been putting up with abuse in every which way for the entirety of your life.

Your father is lucky he’s dead and gone now, but Mason? If the redhead can help it, he will never walk a free man’s breath again. She’s not quite sure how she could manage that, so she internally settles for getting you the hell out of this house, helping you divorce him, and then ensuring that you never have to put up with anything of the sorts again in regard to him or any other person who might try to use you for the goodness of your heart and body. She’ll meet with every guy she has a connection with in this city and make more ziti than she ever thought possible if it means that you finally will be able to walk free of hurt in this world.

“I just don’t know what to do,” you whisper as your tears begin to fade. “I don’t know. Like, I know I have to leave him, but the logistics of it all-”

“Don’t worry about all that,” Melissa tells you. “I’ll handle it.”

“What do you mean you’ll handle it?”

“Don’t worry about it,” the gruff woman tells you.

You look at the woman sitting with you. She looks enraged. And you know the connections that she has. “Mel, you- you can’t kill him.”

“I never said I would,” the redhead states.

“Nobody can,” you whisper. “I- As much as he’s awful, I- I wouldn’t wish death on him.”

As much as she wants to protest that she doesn’t care, that he deserves it, she nods her head. She feels the same way about some of her former boyfriends- absolute shitheads, but she wouldn’t wish death upon them. “I’ll still be here, right by your side, to help you through it all.”

“I- I don’t have enough saved,” you groan. “I can pretty much pay for a divorce lawyer, and then I’m going to have to move back-”

“I know a guy who can help you with the divorce, I know another guy who will help you with a restraining order, and you can use all of the money in your savings for a new house or apartment.”

You shrug. “I still don’t know if I can afford it… living in Philly is expensive.”

“So you’re going to go back home and repeat the cycle of abuse?” Melissa challenges. “Like hell you are. I told you I’m here for you, so if you can’t afford a place on your own, you can move in with me.”

Your eyes widen slightly. “I- I can’t put myself on you like that.”

“You ain’t. I’m offering. Think about it. You get your case worked pro-bono, and my house is all paid off, so I’m just paying for utilities and all that. By moving in with me, you’re actually doing me a favor. Eat my food, since I only know how to cook for twelve and constantly have leftovers, and we can split utilities with me until you can get back on your feet. You’re saving way more than you would if you moved back home, and I’ll know you’re safe if you’re with me.”

You search her eyes for any hint of ingenuity or hint that she’s only doing this for show, but you can tell that she genuinely wants what is best for you. She’s here for you, and she’s offering all of these services because she truly cares about you in such a selfless way.

You just barely nods, and she smiles softly. “Just know that you’re on the hook to help me make all the food we’re gonna have to give out.”

By some Grace of God, you’re able to obtain a divorce lawyer in the short time that your husband is away. You’ve also managed to start the filings of a restraining order against Mason while he’s out of town. And, with the help of a few caring teachers and some of the redhead’s stronger cousins, your things have been moved out of your house and into Melissa’s.

When your husband gets back from his work trip, all that remains of yours in that house is the now dull and dingy rings he had given you on top of a pile of divorce papers and a pile of the restraining order papers. He immediately dials your number.

You’re sitting on Melissa’s couch, trying to settle in as much as you can, when your phone starts ringing loudly.

The redhead is sitting in her recliner and glances down at your phone. She glances to you, and when you lean forward to pick up the device with shaking hands, she snatches it. You instinctively flinch at her aggressive motion.

“You are not answering that,” Melissa tells you. “There is no fucking way I’m letting you answer that phone call and go back. It isn’t happening.”

“Melissa,” you sigh softly.

“No. If you answer that phone call, he is going to know where you are, and he is going to kill you,” your new roommate states. 

“If I don’t answer, it’s putting you in-”

“If he so much as tries to show up here, he’s fucked,” Melissa tells you confidently. “But if you leave here now, you are not going to make it out of this situation alive.”

Before you can think to say anything else, your phone stops ringing. It begins again. Immediately, your coworker turns off your cellular device.

Leaving Mason is a messy ordeal. You knew it was going to be the second that you decided you had to get out of the life you’ve been trapped in for far too long. There are many protective measures put into place to keep you from your soon-to-be ex-husband. You also knew that falling into a new routine and lifestyle would be a long experience. What you weren’t expecting was to have such a hard time transitioning to this new life. Melissa does everything she can for you to become comfortable, but being comfortable is a lot easier said than done.

The woman drives the both of you to work, and she insists that your car stay in her enclosed garage while everything is still swirling in terms of your divorce and restraining order. Not having control of the car that you’re in is something that you’re used to, but putting your life in your coworker’s (sometimes rage filled) hands is scary. When she yells and curses at the idiots around you for their driving, you shrink in your seat. She sees it immediately.

“I’m sorry, hun,” the redhead’s voice turns as smooth as honey. “I’ll try to keep it to myself.”

And when she jerks the car because she has to slam on her brakes for a myriad of reasons, you can’t help but flinch when her arm protectively comes flying towards you to keep you and your healing body from crashing into the dashboard. Of course, she apologizes when she sees how terrified you truly are.

You give her a small shrug and a shy smile. “You’re not doing anything wrong. You don’t have to apologize.”

Slowly, you become more comfortable with her actions and words in the car. They’re never directed in a harmful way towards you. If anything, she’s yelling and cursing at these idiots for putting you in danger. You find it endearing that she doesn’t care that these people are reckless for her sake, but for yours. 

Being in the house is… it’s warm in a way you weren’t quite expecting. You knew the woman was Italian, and her people tend to be a bit rough around the edges but would go to bat for those they love. You find yourself in shock that you are part of that group for Melissa- although you aren’t sure why you would be surprised; she so graciously allowed you to move in with her in order to keep you out of another shitty situation.

When you moved in with her, you promised your new roommate that you would help chip in on expenses when it came to rent.

“I already told ya, it’s taken care of.”

“Then I’ll pitch in more than half for utilities and groceries.”

“Like hell you will.”

For as loud as she tends to be at school, walking around in her heeled boots that clink against the tile, she treks through the house nearly silently in her slippers or sock clad feet. And in the beginning of you living with the redhead, she catches you off guard quite often. She hates that she forgets how skittish you still are.

You’re sitting at the dining room table trying to grade papers while you assume she’s in the living room watching her television show, but then you hear a voice behind you and an arm on your shoulder.

Without thinking, you jump nearly three feet in the air and whip around with eyes blown wide to see who is trying to get to you.

“Shit,” Melissa groans to herself. She looks at you regretfully. “Hun, I’m sorry. I thought you heard me.”

You’re still trying to catch your breath, a hand over your heart. It’s beating out of your chest.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.” The redhead clearly feels awful. You break out of your trance just enough to let your colleague know that she has nothing to be sorry for. “No. I didn’t mean to scare the shit outta you.”

“I just didn’t hear you comin’,” you try to laugh, but it comes out as awkward and stilted, your voice wavering just slightly. “Used to knowing you’re coming with your heels at school.”

It doesn’t go unnoticed by you that now whenever Melissa makes her way through the house, you can hear her because she saunters through her house with a different pair of slippers on- moccasins, that alert you of her being.

You’re able to get your restraining order request fulfilled with some help from one of Melissa’s connections, but the divorce is still pending. Your divorce lawyer ends up being one of the best in the city because of the redhead you live with now. Despite him having the street credit that he does, your case is still being dragged out. You knew it would take forever. There was no way that your husband would agree to any of the terms that you had previously settled on, only prolonging everything further. It also doesn’t help the timing having to go through lawyers and representatives because you feel unsafe being in the same room as him (despite the fact that there are multiple bodies in the room to ensure your safety).

But any legal meetings that you have to be present at, Melissa is right by your side- just as she promised. She believes everything that you shakily tell your lawyer. The things that you tell this man are taken seriously, and it only helps to build a better case for you.

When you leave, the redhead is always there to hold your hand on the car ride home and promise you that you’re making the right decision. Melissa stays by your side for as long as you need her, for as long as you’ll let her. She promises to you that you matter, and you’re one step closer to being a free woman, no longer tied to that horrid man.

She holds you for longer than twenty minutes on those days- letting you feel anything that you need to. She doesn’t ever pull away first. She doesn’t even look at your face. And as much as she wants to kiss you, she doesn’t. All she does is wraps you up in her arms, and she holds on as tightly or as loosely as you need that specific day. She does it all for you, without any sense of selfishness. Melissa would admit that holding you feels nice and natural, but she shakes her head softly at the mere thought of holding you with any intention other than to provide you with the comfort that you need in that very moment.

Once you’ve gotten past the transition of living with Melissa Schemmenti, it’s quite nice. The routines that you fall into never fail you. The two of you spend most of your time together, her claiming that she’s just doing her duty to keep you out of harm’s way, but there’s a small part you that thinks maybe she genuinely just does enjoy spending time with you. You get ready for work together, have breakfast together, go to staff meetings together, have lunch with the group together (although you’ve found that you’ve been invited to hers and Barb’s sacred table), and then when work is over, you make dinner and enjoy it together before retiring to the couch for an evening of relaxation. Chores and grocery shopping is usually done together, and it’s warm. You’ve found something of a domestic life partner in Melissa- you aren’t quite sure if you’ll ever be ready to enter another relationship, as much as you have come to terms with the fact that you may have feelings for your coworker turned roommate.

After far too long, your divorce is finalized, and you couldn’t be more thrilled. The feeling of freedom is so overwhelming that you can’t help the burst of emotion you end up showing. That night, Melissa is nothing but warm and sweet- telling you that you’re on your way to healing. She holds you just like she has been, and the amount of takeout food that you consume rivals tailgate parties for the Eagles.

Now that you’re free from Mason, your restraining order is finalized, and you’ve actually caught wind that he’s moved out of the city and a few towns over though, the reality that you technically don’t need Melissa’s protective streak anymore. Now that you’re out of your previous situation, you come to the realization that your neighbor will probably begin to pull back because she has no obligation to keep you under her wing anymore. 

And that… that breaks you in the oddest way. You’re free from the fear that you’ve been living in, and you have more than enough savings to move out.

Not that you would know it, but Melissa is also having feelings about this. What if you don’t want her around anymore, or you want to move out now that you have a plentiful of wealth due to not having to pay for rent.

Neither of you speak of it the night that everything is finalized. Instead, you revel in the success and allow yourself to feel comfortable- as if come tomorrow everything will change. 

Tags

 (and let me know if you want to be included!): @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @a-queen-and-her-throne @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld @cosmichymns @sasheemo @m1lflov3rrr @ricejucie @temilyrights

[carlottawllms]

Author's note: Welcome back! It's crazy, but it's been one week already since I posted chapter I. Let me just say that there's plenty more to come. Enjoy

As always, feedback is very much appreciated. And now, enjoy! 🩷

After two weeks, everything was still a little messy and chaotic, but that was to be expected. Ellie was fine though, she started to settle properly and although she still preferred to be close to either Mason or you, her initial clinginess had died down a little as well. She was back to being that happy girl you knew.

The first week of taking care of Mason’s little daughter by yourself was nearly over and whilst you’d been a bit worried about how Ellie might take it all, everything had been going great.

Ellie had been more than well-behaved, a little sunshine really. Obviously, she was a little sad every time her daddy had to leave in the morning, but as the days had passed and Mason had come back every afternoon, the little one was more relaxed now and she seemed to enjoy the time she got to spend with you.

And today would be the little one’s first time in the stadium. You actually hadn’t known it would be her first game until Mason had told you this morning, that Mae had never really bothered to come and see him play, claiming that she just didn’t enjoy watching them play, so she’d barely been to Old Trafford and then when Ellie came along, it would’ve been – in Mae’s words – too much of a faff.

When you’d told Mason you’d come to cheer him on with Ellie, his eyes had lit up and the bright smile on his face had told you everything about what it meant to him.

“C’mon Ellie, we’ve got to leave now or we’ll be late.”, you called, the kids home shirt with daddy and number 7 printed in bold letters on the back, in your hands and it wasn’t long before the little girl came bouncing down the hallway, an excited smile on her face.

“Daddyyyy!”

“Yeah, we’re going to see daddy.”, you smiled as she all but crashed into your arms. ��Want to put your shirt on?”

“Yessss!”

About 40 minutes later, you were embraced in a bearhug by none other than Jaz. “Oh, I missed you, y/n.”

With you by his side him as mental support, Mason had called his parents on the day all hell had broken lose and given them a brief rundown of what had happened. Debbie had immediately offered to come to Manchester, but after he’d been able to reassure her that he wanted to try it with your help first, she’d agreed.

Jaz however had insisted on coming up this weekend. Mason had just rolled his eyes at her, but you knew that she only meant well and just wanted to make sure that her little brother and his daughter were okay and taken care of.

“I missed you too.”, you hummed, before crouching down to the little girl by her side. “And you, too, Sums. You’re all grown up already, wow.”

Summer grinned brightly after kissing your cheek. Mason's niece definitely came second in the ranking of the cutest children, just behind Ellie.

“You girls wanna walk together?”, you asked setting Ellie down. She looked a little hesitant with all the people around, but when you tightly grabbed her small hand in yours and smiled down at her, she nodded.

Jaz had grabbed one of Summer’s hands herself, whilst the two girls in their Mount shirts walked in between the two of you, swinging their intertwined hands as they were talking amongst themselves, and it wasn’t long until you were inside the family lounge.

Ellie had warmed up to the situation and was more than comfortable running around with Summer and playing with the other kids, but you still kept a close eye on her.

“I’d never expected anything like this to happen.”, Jaz sighed suddenly. “I’d always put her down as a responsible person, you know? It’s just…you are friends with her right? Did she erm…say anything?”

“No, I…Mae and I haven’t been friends anymore since their break-up, to be honest. I don’t know what he told you about why he ended things, but it was basically the same reason I ended my friendship with her.”

Mason had never told you whether or not his family knew that Mae had cheated on him three weeks before he’d broken up with her. He hadn’t been supposed to be home that early but a power cut at Carrington had forced them to end the session a little earlier and he’d actually been happy about it, thinking he could go home and warm himself up with a little family cuddle after kicking a ball around in the cold for too long, but when he’d arrived Mae was busy warming herself up with a guy Mason had never seen before.

They’d been going at it in the living room, moaning and screaming as if they’d been alone although their little girl Ellie had been upstairs, crying for her mum.

It had broken Mason’s heart and he’d been furious, but for Ellie’s sake, he’d been willing to try and forgive Mae. You knew he’d tried; he’d really tried and he’d wanted to make it work, but then one evening, he’d knocked at your door, eyes filled with tears and he’d confessed that every time he looked at Mae, he saw the way she’d been moaning for that other guy.

“Oh, I…I didn’t know that. I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s alright. It was one of those situations where you just have to choose and well…there was only ever one answer to the question Mason or Mae.”, you smiled, watching Jaz’ expression soften and a smile taking over her features. “He’s my best friend, Jaz and I would’ve never encouraged him to go on a date with her if I hadn’t thought it would work out. When they told me they were expecting little Ellie, I was over the moon for them. They’d talked about getting married and…god I was so sad for him.”

Jaz nodded. “It sounds silly, but for Mase it’s not easy to find someone who’s serious about him. And now with a kid it’s even more difficult.”, she mumbled, running her hand through her hair.

She really looked worried, and you’d love to reassure her, but there wasn’t much you could say. Mason hadn’t been looking for anybody before and now with Ellie living with him, he certainly wouldn’t be any time soon either.

You knew him. He was all focused on his career whilst enjoying his single life every now and then, whilst a serious relationship hadn’t crossed his mind for a while. And you couldn’t blame him for that. After having been cheated on a year ago, you hadn’t expected him to dive head first into something new and whilst you had never been necessarily thrilled about the girls he’d taken home, you’d understood and never interfered. Unless he’d called you and begged you to scare one off when she hadn’t gotten the message.

“I know, it’s never really easy, but the right one for him will come. And it won’t matter to her that he has a kid cause if she’s the right one she will love Ellie as if she was her own, you know?”

Jaz chuckled and nodded, thinking about how you’d basically just perfectly described yourself, but she kept her mouth shut. She’d always thought that you and her brother would be perfect for each other, but as it wasn’t any of her business she’d never said anything.

“On another note, y/n, thank you so much for stepping up and being there for him and Ellie. In times like this it’s even worse for us that he’s so far away and we can’t just come by and help, but knowing you’re here makes it a lot easier. We all appreciate it so much; you have no idea.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Like I said he’s my best friend and I love Ellie, of course I offer my help, Jaz.”, you smiled, when small hands patting your leg interrupted your conversation. “Hello there, my little munchkin.”, you cooed, lifting little Ellie into your lap. She immediately snuggled into your chest and grabbed your hand to play with your fingers.

The two of you kept talking for a little longer, but it wasn’t long until you were eventually outside and looking all over the pitch.

The game itself went pretty well. United won comfortably and the goal Mason had scored had made the four of you cheer loudly in the box. Ellie had been jumping up and down on your legs, repeating the words daddy and goal over and over again until you’d eventually got her settled in your lap again.

“Daddy will be here any second now.”, you reassured Ellie who was getting a little antsy in your hold. You could tell that she started to miss him properly as she hadn’t seen him since yesterday evening. “And then he’s all yours. You’ll get aaaaall the cuddles in the world, and kisses and hugs and maybe if you ask nicely, he’ll get you some ice cream too.”

You tickled her side with your free hand, trying to cheer her up a little as you didn’t want Mason to worry about her and thankfully, he showed up rather quickly. He’d trapped his washbag under his arm, but once he’d reached you, it was quickly abandoned on the table next to you before he took Ellie from you.

“Daddy!”

“Hi baby.” A bright smile took over his face, dimples carving into his cheeks as he nuzzled his nose against his daughter’s. The little girl giggled and tried to hide in her dad’s neck, but he simply followed her, targeting her little button nose for a little longer before smooching her cheek and letting her lean her head against his shoulder. 

“Hello to you too.” Your heart warmed when Mason directed his pretty smile at yours. With his free arm wrapping around your waist, he pulled you into him for a hug.

“Hi Mase. Congrats on your goal, I’m proud of you.”, you smiled, squeezing him a little before you left a kiss on his stubbly cheek. Mason, who wasn’t good at accepting compliments, blushed at your words. “C’mon go say hi to the other two. Summer is dying to see her favourite uncle, and we all want to leave rather soon. I promised them I’d cook for us before heading home so you can unpack and spend some time with Jaz and the tiny devils.”

When you pulled away from him, to push him towards Jaz and Summer, who had her eyes already set on your best friend, Mason gently grabbed you by your elbow, his brown eyes locking on yours. “You sure you don’t mind? You’ve spent all week at mine and haven’t had time for yourself, y/n.”

“Stop worrying, Mase.”, you smiled softly. “I’m a big girl, I know what I’m doing. I have tomorrow all to myself in case you remember.”, you laughed, squeezing his hand reassuringly and although Mason didn’t look convinced, he let you push him towards his sister and niece.

-

An hour later, you were all back at Mason’s. Jaz had occupied the living room, playing with Summer and Ellie, whilst your best friend was upstairs, sorting his stuff in his bedroom. After coming back, you’d quickly changed into sweatpants and a matching hoodie and were now working away in the kitchen.

On the way home you’d decided on making spag bol. Not only, because it was a quick and easy meal but also because the kids loved it as much as Mason did. You were about to finish the sauce, when the latter trailed into the kitchen.

“Have you seen Ellie’s pink bottle by chance?”, he asked and as he brushed past you, his hand softly caressed the small of your back. “She’s refusing to use any other.”

“Yeah, it’s up there, I think.”, you nodded towards one of the upper cabinets. “I cleaned it this morning. I think she- Mase!”

A shocked gasp left your mouth as in the moment Mason reached up to grab the bottle, his shirt lifted and revealed a rather large bruise forming on his lower back. Without thinking, you stepped closer to him and pulled the fabric up even further.

“What happened? Are you okay?” You voice was laced with worry as you carefully inspected his bruised skin with the very tips of your fingers, trying not to hurt him.

“It’s from training.”, he shrugged, trying to play it off although it did hurt like a little bitch. “Fell awkwardly on Rasmus’ leg. It’s nothing though, they checked it.”

“It doesn’t look like nothing.”, you sighed, knowing it probably wasn’t too bad, but you hated when Mason was hurt and you couldn’t do much to help him. “I think I have this gel in my bag, you know, the one they gave me when I injured my shoulder. Let me get that real quick.”

With a pat to his shoulder, you dashed out of the kitchen.

Shaking his head with a fond smile on his lips, Mason chuckled quietly. There was no need for you to go all doctor on him as the medical department at Carrington had stocked him up on gels and whatever would help with the healing process, but he would never tell you that. He liked your caring side way too much for that and whilst he’d never admit it, he also wanted to feel your soft hands on his skin again.

With rosy cheeks, he was startled out of his thoughts when you came back into the kitchen. “Got it. Bend over for me, will you?”

“In my head it’s always been me saying that to you, but I don’t mind reversed roles every once in a while.”, he laughed. Partly to tease you, but mainly to get his head back straight.

“Mason.”, you laughed as you pinched his side in feigned outrage. You knew he was just joking, but your face still turned a deep shade of red.

“Can you blame me? You provided me with the opportunity, don’t blame me for- Ouch! Stop pinching me.”

“Behave then.”, you laughed. “And now stop moving otherwise it really will hurt.”

With one hand, you pushed his shirt up his back and as your gaze once again fell on the colourful bruise, a deep sigh escaped your lips. It didn’t look good at all. Carefully, to avoid causing him more pain, you applied a thin layer of the gel all over his affected skin, apologising ever so often when his tiny hisses and groans could be heard in the kitchen.

Mason’s eyes had fallen shut the moment your warm hands had touched his back and the longer you kept going the more difficult it became to hide the shivers rolling up his spine. Your gentle touch was relaxing, and it was way too early when you squeezed his sides and told him you were done.

 “You really need to take care of yourself, Mase.”, you told him, gaze lingering on the way the muscles danced under his skin as he straightened up again.

“I promise you, I will.” Mason pressed his lips softly to your forehead in an attempt to reassure you once he’d turned around. “Thank you, y/n.”

You would’ve loved to keep him around, but Ellie calling for him had him pulling away from you. He grabbed the bottle, filled it with water and padded back into the living room, leaving you and your thoughts alone in the kitchen.

It hadn't even been a whole week, but Ellie and you had become very attuned to one another. She trusted you and liked being around you, she was happy and always up to whatever you proposed, whilst you’d figured out quickly which things she liked and preferred to do.

Juggling the job and the little one had turned out to be surprisingly easy too. Mason had set up an office for you on the same floor as Ellie’s bedroom so you could keep an eye on her without having to be with her all the time and she had the chance to come see you whenever she wanted or needed to.

You loved it. Not just the time with Ellie though, but also the time you got to spend with Mason. Of course, the two of you had spent time together before too, but with him being incredibly busy and having to share the time between rather lots of people, it had been nowhere near as much as right now.

In fact, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d cooked and had dinner together and now that you got to see him this often, you realised you hadn’t cherished the time before enough.

Deep in thoughts, you didn’t notice Mason coming back into the kitchen, so you nearly jumped out of your skin the moment he brushed up right behind you, hands settling on your hips.

The way he was so touchy with you made you a little shy and you had to remind yourself that it was just Mason and there was no reason to get all blushy.

“I forgot to ask what you’re making.”, he mumbled, his chin propped up on your shoulder to catch a glimpse of what was in the pots right in front of you. “Is it spag bol?”

You could literally hear his childlike excitement when he’d made sense of all the ingredients and when you nodded, he wiggled his head happily before pecking your cheek quickly. “Looks and smells amazing, love.”

And because he was as cheeky as they come, he didn’t miss the opportunity to try and dip his finger into the sauce, but you knew him well enough to anticipate his next move, so before he could actually burn himself, you pushed his hand away.

“It’s hot Mase.”, you giggled at the pout you could spot from the corner of your eye. “Don’t you have anything to do? Places to be? Anything?”

Mason just laughed at your attempt to shoo him away and nodded. “I’ll see what my other favourite girls are doing then.”, he told you. Squeezing your waist, he dropped a kiss to the top of your head before leaving you on your own; your flushed cheeks from the way he’d referred to you as his favourite girl going entirely unnoticed by him.

You quickly finished the spaghetti before calling everyone to come sit down. Unsurprisingly, Ellie and Summer were the first to beg for Jaz and Mason to put them into their seats and the moment you filled their plates with pasta and Bolognese, their eyes nearly popped out of their heads.

“Pagetti!”, Summer screeched, nearly jumping out of her seat the moment Jaz reached for her plate to cut the pasta in smaller bits.

You looked up from filling the remaining plates when Mason’s sweet voice had you looking up. “Is that yummy, Ellie?”, he asked, watching the way his daughter dipped her finger into the sauce on her plate, whilst Mason cut the spaghetti and when the little one hummed and nodded in agreement, he looked up to you with a soft smile.

You blushed, but smiled back at him before focusing on putting pasta onto your plate as well and sitting down opposite of him and Ellie.

*

The next day was your so-called day off. After the game the day before, Mason – and the rest of his team obviously – had been given the day off. You’d protested a little when he had told you that you should take the day for yourself to recover from the week, but in the end he’d got his way.

After finishing some chores, all you’d been doing was lounging on the sofa and making your way through several Netflix films and series. You’d even ordered yourself some food as the laziness had been too strong and now that you were wrapped up in a fluffy blanket, eyes growing a little heavy, you realised that you’d actually needed this day off.

Not that you hadn’t enjoyed spending time with Ellie and in the evenings with Mason too, but until you’d laid down a couple of hours ago, you hadn’t noticed just how exhausted you actually were.

Whilst you were enjoying the quiet time all by yourself, Mason and Jaz had taken the kids for a little walk. The two girls were walking in front, giggling away and trying to find some pretty flowers to pick, whilst Mason was indulged in his thoughts.

And every single one of these thoughts revolved around you.

In the last two weeks, you had always been by his side. When he’d gone to training? You’d been there. When he’d come home from training? You’d been there. After his game? You’d been there. You’d become a reassuring constant and while he actually really liked it, he couldn’t help but feel like he was becoming too dependent on you.

“Penny for your thoughts?”, Jaz asked, already suspecting something was up and when her brother released a deep sigh, it was proof enough for her.

“This is gonna make me sound insane.”, he huffed, kicking a pebble to the side of the path, but deep down he knew that his sister would never judge him. Maybe give him a bit of a talking to, but not more. “y/n is really amazing, you know? With Ellie obviously, but also in the way she supports me. Like when I get back home, she’s done all these things like cooking and tidying up already, so I get to spend time with my trouble on two legs.”

Mason kicked another pebble when he gave himself a moment to figure out how to voice his worries.

“It’s been just two weeks and I already feel like I can’t do anything without her. Not because she wouldn’t let me, but because it’s normal that she’s there and part of our lives and it’s just…what if I get too dependent on her? Until Ellie can go to nursery it’ll take a while and…I don’t know it’s just worrying me. Like even today it feels weird that y/n isn’t here, you know?”  

Jaz just smiled, her heart filled with warmth because she knew that despite the worries plaguing him right now, he had you, the most wonderful best friend anyone could ever ask for, by his side. She knew, no matter what, he’d always find you having his back and fighting his corner.

“That’s okay, Mase.”, she began, touching his arm in reassurance. “y/n has been there since all normality disappeared from your everyday life. Of course, it feels like you could never do it on your own because, let's face it, it would be incredibly stressful, but deep down you know that if you had to, you could manage without her. Just with a lot more sacrifices.”

“I know, it’s just that…it’s difficult to explain but…what if I depend too much on her? Like she has her own life and stuff going on and all she does right now is taking care of Ellie and me and…what if…what if she…erm…”

“What if she leaves, you mean?”, Jaz asked softly.

“Yes.” His voice was quiet and a little shaky, hesitant in confessing his deepest fear and her heart broke for her little brother. The whole situation had obviously taken a toll on him and on top of that he was worrying his best friend could leave him.

“I understand that, Mase.”, she sighed. “But if you ask me, you don't have to worry about that. She's your best friend and yes, maybe she didn't realise the extent of it when she offered to help, but I can't imagine her just running away. I've seen how she deals with Ellie, how she cares and how much she loves her.”, Jaz squeezed her little brother’s arm a little. “But of course, I can't promise you anything. Don’t you have another day off tomorrow? You should talk to her, you know? Be honest with her, tell her about your worries and then you can go from there together, okay?”

Mason gave it a little thought, unsure if he could actually be that honest with you and tell you how terrified he truly was, but he knew he had to. For Ellie’s sake.

“You’re probably right. Thanks Jaz.”

“That’s okay.”, she smiled. “And if you don’t want it to continue like this you know that you have us, and we’ll step up. Mum and Dad already said they’d move to Manchester until Ellie can go to nursery, so you don’t have anything to worry about.”

“Thank you. Honestly, thank you, Jaz.”

Mason pulled his sister into a tight hug and the realisation that no matter what would happen, he had all of his family by his side was reassuring enough to find the bravery to send you a quick text.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened your chat, chuckling quietly as his gaze fell on the name he’d saved you under. You were a happy person; a smile was almost all the time grazing your lips and lighting up your beautiful face, but above all, you giggling was his favourite sound in the world.

[emeraldcrs]

soldier boy × @soldiersgirl aestethic♡

5:12 a.m.

the city is still asleep. or at least pretending to be. outside, a cracked neon sign flickers weakly against the early morning haze. inside a dimly lit room, two bodies lie tangled beneath rough blankets, facing each other. only one of them is actually sleeping.

the other is very much not.

millie lies wide-eyed, staring up at the ceiling like it’s personally offended her.

ben is snoring again.

not the cute, sleepy kind of snore you hear in romantic comedies. no. he snores like a war machine. like a broken-down military truck that refuses to die quietly.

she groans softly and sits up. her fingers gently touch her temple. she sends out a subtle telepathic pulse toward ben's mind—just enough to calm the inner chaos, not enough to wake him.

instant silence.

he shifts in his sleep, murmuring something about "the goddamn 149th battalion" and "commie bastards," but the room is peaceful again.

millie lets out a breath.

– you’re lucky i love you, you nuclear chainsaw – she mutters before lying back down beside him.

sleep finally comes.

---

10:43 a.m. – mission time

they're standing outside an old vought warehouse, deep in the industrial zone. the concrete still hums faintly with leftover radiation. something that smells weirdly floral is leaking from the vents.

millie watches from the back while ben rages at the front gates.

– this whole goddamn operation is a joke! the whole world’s a joke! – he shouts, fists clenched, eyes glowing with heat.

kimiko steps back. frenchie starts muttering curses in four different languages. hughie looks like he’s seconds away from passing out.

– he’s doing it again – butcher grumbles. – gonna blow.

millie walks past them, unfazed. she’s the only one who can bring him back.

she stops in front of ben. his body vibrates with barely-contained power. his eyes are wild, red-hot. but the second she steps close, something changes.

– ben. that’s enough.

he doesn’t speak. not with words. but she knows he hears her.

she lifts her hand and places it against his chest, just above his heart. sends a wave of calm into him—like a quiet room in the middle of a battlefield. like breath. like her.

ben shudders once, then stills. the glow fades.

crisis averted.

as she turns to leave, he mutters behind her:

– if you weren’t here, i’d burn this place to the ground.

millie glances back, soft smile tugging at her lips.

– i know.

---

evening – back at the hideout

millie is curled up on the old leather couch when ben walks into the room, holding two mason jars of something suspiciously pink and slightly frothy.

– okay, don’t say anything – he starts immediately, holding the jars out like he’s diffusing a bomb. – i know the first three batches were... undrinkable. but i think i finally nailed the ratio. it’s not just matcha this time. i added ice. and real strawberries. and, uh... too much honey.

millie raises an eyebrow as she takes the jar.

– are you trying to perfect iced strawberry matcha for me… or for yourself?

ben frowns.

– i don’t even like it. it’s green and weird. just... refreshing. keeps my hands warm. i mean, cold. whatever.

she sips. pauses.

– okay, not terrible. this might actually be edible.

ben smirks proudly.

– i’m learning. like a real domestic bitch.

millie chuckles and shakes her head. this version of ben—grumbling, awkward, kind of proud of himself—it’s her favorite.

---

late night – back in bed

they lie close, bodies warm under the blankets. ben’s breathing slows as he drifts off. millie rests her head on his chest, fingers absentmindedly tracing the scars there.

and then, just before he slips into sleep, he says it.

a little differently every time. but always the same meaning.

– if anyone ever looked at you wrong... i swear, i’d start world war three.

millie smirks, eyes closed.

– i know, ben. but maybe don’t nuke the planet tonight. we’re out of strawberries.

he laughs—quiet and low. real. not forced or bitter.

– christ, how the hell did you end up being the only thing that matters?

millie doesn’t answer with words. she just sends the feeling: warmth, trust, the sense that someone finally gets him.

ben sighs. and for once—no snoring. no twitching. just peace.

millie watches him sleep, hand resting gently on his.

and for now, for this one night, the world doesn’t need saving. not while she has him.

tags: @soldiersgirl @bittersweetfig @briiverse @bejeweledinterludes @littlesoulshine @soldierboysdoll @cowboysandcigarettes @soangelbaby @sugardean @angelblqde @sunsbaby @thekhloediary @hischrrypie @pieandflannel @jays-bonnie-on-the-side @velvourne @fuckedupfate @rositaslabyrinth @mahi-wayy @jollyhunter @h8aaz @daylighted

[porcelainstarrr]

CHAPTER 13

⌖

6 months later

It’s been months.

Since… well, you know.

And life has been great.

Well, great is a strong word.

Acceptable is better. Manageable. Normal.

Or at least, it passes for normal these days.

Work has been okay. A little dull, a little quiet.

Gigi went through a breakup.

A really bad one.

Everything in Brooklyn reminded her of him, his coffee order, his bar, his street. So she moved. 

To Hell’s Kitchen, 

of all places.

She hates it here. Says the people walk too slow, and the pizza’s too floppy. But we see each other more now, which makes her feel better. And me, too.

I met someone.

His name’s Mason.

Four months ago, Gigi dragged me to some bar. I wasn’t in the mood to flirt or mingle.

But she introduced us anyway.

Mason had this calm about him. Like nothing rattled him. Nice voice. Pretty eyes. That kind of hair you want to touch just to see if it’s as soft as it looks. We talked. About books, weirdly. About French toast and bad tattoos and the psychology of dreams. 

We started dating. Slowly. A coffee here. A walk there.

Then more.

He’s kind. Smart. Dependable.

He listens. He cooks. Hes normal.

And I like him. I really do.

He’s been… a good distraction.

─────── ⌖ ───────

The sun slipped through the blinds in narrow stripes, dusty gold slants cutting across the edge of the dresser, the floor, the rumpled sheets tangled around my legs.

My eyes blinked open to the sound of soft breathing behind me. Warmth at my back. A weightless kind of comfort.

I didn’t smile. But I didn’t frown either.

Just lay there a moment. Still. Letting the quiet of the morning settle into my lungs.

My alarm had already gone off, somewhere between dream and routine, but I hadn’t hit snooze. Just silenced it. Let myself drift a minute longer, head buried half in the pillow, half in the space between.

I finally shifted. Sat up. Brushed a hand through my hair. The blanket slipped down my arm as I swung my legs over the side of the bed, the hardwood cool against my bare feet.

I padded to the bathroom without looking back.

Light flicked on.

The ritual began the way it always did. shower. hair. makeup. I looked at myself for a beat too long. Not vanity. No doubt. Just… staring. Then I turned away. Pulled my hair back. Clipped it half-up. Let the rest fall. Back in the bedroom, the bed creaked as I stepped past it.

“Babe,” I said, nudging the blanket at his shoulder, “you’re gonna be late.” A groan from the other side of the mattress. A lazy arm thrown over his eyes. I paused. Just for a second. Just long enough to notice that I’d said it automatically.

Then I moved on.

The kitchen was still dark except for the strip of light under the cabinets. I flicked the switch. Pulled two mugs from the shelf, lined them up. Started the coffee. Sliced fruit. Toasted bread. I moved efficiently, rhythm in my bones, routine wrapped around me like armor.

He shuffled in a few minutes later, hair messy, eyes half-shut. He kissed me on the cheek as he passed. I offered a small smile without turning my head.

“You want scrambled or over-easy?” I asked.

“Scrambled,” he mumbled while making the coffee.

I cracked the eggs into the pan. No second thoughts. No hesitation. Just cooking. Just moving.

Just another morning.

I didn’t think about the silence. Didn’t question the absence of butterflies. Didn’t sit in the space between comfort and something unnamed. Because everything was fine. My job was stable. My apartment was nice. He was kind. Dependable. Normal.

And I was here. Awake. Fed. Functional.

I stirred the eggs.

Added salt. Pepper. Folded the heat through.

Behind me, he hummed a song under his breath, some pop track from the radio I didn’t really like. I didn’t say anything. Just plated the food and handed it to him.

He smiled. I smiled back.

─────── ⌖ ───────

It was almost 5. My shift was nearly done, and I was dragging my cursor through the same patient report I'd already re-read twice. I wasn’t tired. I wasn’t distracted. I was just... elsewhere. Somewhere suspended between the click of my mouse and the sound of muffled footsteps in the hallway outside my office.

I saved the file, minimized the screen, and stared at my reflection in the dark monitor. My face looked the same. My hair was pulled back. My eyes were clear. But there was something faint in my expression, something distant, maybe. A softness I didn’t wear for anyone here.

I packed up slowly. Grabbed my coat off the hook. Slid my phone into my pocket and walked toward the exit, badge tucked in the bag, shoes quiet against the tile. The air in the hallway felt recycled and a little too cold, like always.

When I stepped outside, the wind was sharp. Evening had settled over Hell’s Kitchen. Lights flickered on one by one across buildings. Headlights rolled down the streets. And as I always did, without meaning to, I glanced up.

The light was off.

It usually was.

Still, every time I passed by the facility, I looked. Just for a second. Just to see. Just to wonder if, maybe, someone might be watching from behind the glass.

He never was.

The sidewalk was busy, but I walked slowly, letting the chill bite into my coat. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out.

Mason: Hey, won’t be staying over tonight. Something came up. I’ll call you later.

I stared at the text for a moment. no explanation, Not that I needed one.

Me: okay.

I locked my phone. Slid it back in.

Honestly, I didn’t care. Not really. Not in a way that mattered. There was no sting. No deep exhale. Just a quiet note of relief, like the silence had arrived before the message did.

I called Gigi.

She picked up after the second ring. "What’s up?"

“Can you stay over tonight?” I asked. “Mason bailed. I don’t feel like being alone.”

There was a pause, then her voice softened. “Yeah. Of course.”

I smiled. A real one. Small. Grateful.

“Alright see ya”

I hung up, pulled my coat tighter, and kept walking.

─────── ⌖ ───────

The apartment smelled like soy sauce and sweet chili. Two sets of chopsticks clinked against plastic containers, and some overly dramatic reality show played on the screen, casting a soft blue light across the room. Gigi was curled up sideways on the couch, wearing an old band tee and mismatched socks, hair scraped back in a bun so messy it was practically abstract art. She shoved a piece of chicken into her mouth and pointed at the screen with the chopsticks.

“Okay, but if this man cries one more time over someone he’s known for 72 hours, I’m applying to be on season six.” I snorted, tucking my feet under the blanket. “You wouldn’t survive five minutes. You’d get eliminated for bullying the other contestants.”

“Yeah, probably,” she said, unapologetic. “But at least I wouldn’t cry on national television because someone ignored me after a group date in Fiji.” I smiled and sipped my drink, letting the fake drama hum in the background while the silence between us turned into something quieter. Softer. After a minute, Gigi looked over at me. Not with teasing. Not with sass. With real eyes. That gentle shift she only did when something was eating at her.

“So,” she said slowly, “how’s Mason?”

I shrugged. “He’s okay.”

Gigi raised a brow. “Just okay?”

I didn’t answer.

She sat up a little straighter, kicked her feet out, and stabbed a dumpling like it owed her money. “Alright, no. Speak. What’s wrong?” I let out a breath, stared down at my food. The words came slower than I expected. “He’s… nice. Like, genuinely nice. Sweet. Normal. He does everything right. Texts back. Picks good restaurants. Folds my laundry when he’s over.”

“That sounds fake,” she deadpanned.

I huffed a tiny laugh, but it didn’t last long.

“It’s not him,” I said quietly. “It’s me. Shouldn’t I feel something by now? Shouldn’t I be excited to see him? Texting him all the time? Butterflies? That stupid can’t-wait-to-touch-you stage everyone talks about?”

Gigi didn’t say anything. She just kept listening.

“I don’t feel any of that. Not even a flicker. And it’s been months. Other girls are, like… in love by now. They get giggly. Obsessive. I feel like I’m dating my accountant.”

“Well, is he good in bed?” Gigi asked.

I gave her a look. “Yeah”

“See, that makes it worse,” she muttered.

I nodded slowly. “It just feels like I’m going through the motions. Like I’m doing all the things I’m supposed to, but none of it lands. I like him. I do. But sometimes I’m sitting across from him at dinner and all I can think is… this should feel different.”

The silence that followed wasn’t uncomfortable. It was the kind of pause only best friends could live in. She picked at her noodles. I sipped my drink again.

Then she said it.

“Have you thought about Dex?”

I stiffened. Just barely.

“Don’t.”

“What?” she asked, feigning innocence. “You think if I say his name three times he’s gonna spawn out of nowhere like Beetlejuice?”

I cracked a laugh despite myself. 

“I’m serious,” she said, she slowly whispers. “Dex, Dex, Dex-”

“Gigi-”

she yells “Dex.”

I threw a napkin at her. She ducked. We both smiled.

Then it passed.

“Any updates?” she asked gently. “Have you heard anything?” I shook my head. “Nothing. I don’t even know if he’s still inside. I can’t check the system. He’s not mine anymore.” Gigi shifted, leaned against the couch back and looked at me. Really looked.

“Do you want to know?”

I paused.

“I don’t know.”

We sat in that. TV muted. Just the soft, distant hum of city traffic and sirens, with the clink of her chopsticks against plastic.

“You know, sometimes,” I said, “when I leave work, I look up at the windows. I don’t know why. I just… I think about him standing behind the glass. Watching. Like maybe I’d catch a glimpse of him or something. But there’s nothing. It’s just windows.”

Gigi nodded slowly. “You miss him.”

“Yeah.”

We didn’t speak for a while after that. She reached over and squeezed my knee. I squeezed back. Then she shifted to lie back down again, arms behind her head, staring up at the ceiling. “You know,” she said softly, I looked at her, expecting something sweet. Something genuine.

“I hate him”

I chuckled 

“ And he scares the shit out of me. I genuinely don’t know how you sat in the same room as him, and fell in love with him. He looked at us once from that window and my heart dropped to my ass.”

Our laughs grew.

talking about him after months made me feel better, but I hate admitting that it makes me miss him more. 

─────── ⌖ ───────

COUPLE WEEKS LATER.

It’s been weeks 

since the night-in with Gigi.

Since the takeout containers and cheap wine. Since we sat on my couch with a trashy reality show blaring and whispered his name like a curse word we didn’t want to wake. Since we laughed a little too hard at things that probably weren’t funny, just so we wouldn’t cry.

Life marched on, as it always does.

Work stayed the same, charts, patients, fluorescent lights that buzz just a little too loudly. We still had our Friday night hangout. We still swapped dry gossip about people we barely knew. Everything felt fine.

But only on the surface.

Lately, 

She’s been… 

off.

Not in the obvious ways. She’s still Gigi. Still sharp and sarcastic, still brutally honest when I need her to be. But there are pauses now. Delays. Flickers of something unreadable in her face when she thinks I’m not looking.

Like last Thursday.

We were walking back from some overpriced juice place she swore was “liquid crack in a bottle,” and halfway through her rant about someone who wore kitten heels to a warehouse party, she stopped talking. Just… stopped.

Her steps slowed for half a second, then sped up. She walked ahead of me, not looking back, not even noticing she’d lost me for a moment.

“Hey,” I said, catching up. “You good?”

She blinked, like she'd just come back to herself. “Yeah. Yeah, sorry, I zoned out. What were you saying?”

I let it go.

Maybe she really was tired. We’re all tired.

But it kept happening.

Tiny things.

She started ending calls earlier than usual. We’d be mid-convo and she’d say something like, “Hey, I’ll call you back,” except she didn’t. Or she’d glance over her shoulder on the sidewalk like she was expecting someone to be there. Once or twice, I caught her looking past me while we talked, beyond me. At the street. At a building. At nothing.

I asked her again one night after dinner, while she picked at the ice in her glass with a straw.

“G?”

She looked up. “Hm?”

“You’ve been kinda weird lately. Everything okay?”

Her mouth twitched like she wanted to lie convincingly, but she didn’t put in the effort. “I’m fine,” she said. “Just distracted. Work’s been ass.”

I narrowed my eyes. “That’s always your excuse.”

She smiled, but it didn’t touch her eyes. “It’s always true.” And then she changed the subject. Just like that.

We moved on.

But it stuck with me. That flicker in her eyes.

She’s not cold. Not distant. But she’s somewhere else.

Like her body’s still sitting next to me, but her head’s blocks away, watching for something I can’t see.

And I don’t know what it is.

Not yet.

Something is off.

And she’s not telling me what.

⌖

One random late afternoon.

We were at a café that was half-full, quiet enough to talk, busy enough not to feel watched. The air smelled like espresso and rain on pavement. We sat near the window, at the corner table we always took when we needed a few hours off from pretending everything was fine. She was stirring her tea like she was trying to make it disappear. I was talking, something about work, maybe, or my new patient who wouldn’t stop quoting Hemingway. I wasn’t even finished with the sentence when I noticed her eyes shift.

Not casually.

Sharply. Like something had snapped her attention.

She was looking out the window.

Her face didn’t change, but her posture did, shoulders stiffening, breath caught just enough to notice.

I stopped mid-sentence. “What?”

She blinked, then turned back to me too quickly. “Nothing. Thought I saw someone I used to know.”

“Someone from where?”

“Nowhere. Not important.” She waved her hand, too flippantly. “I was wrong. Just looked like someone.”

I looked too.

I looked around the cafe, no one looked familiar. I looked outside from the cafe’s window right next to me.

There was no one. Just a woman pulling a suitcase behind her. A kid with a plastic bag swinging from his wrist.

Nothing unusual.

But she wasn’t listening to me anymore.

She nodded along as I picked up where I left off, but her eyes didn’t fully meet mine. Her fingers didn’t stop moving, fidgeting with her cup, her sleeve, a sugar packet she’d already torn in half.

And when I mentioned the Hemingway patient again, she gave me a response that didn’t match the question.

She was here.

But not really.

And I didn’t say anything.

Because she’d already told me it was nothing.

Even if her tea had gone cold.

Even if she hadn’t touched her croissant.

Even if I could feel it, that something was shifting again.

Quietly.

Slowly.

Just beneath the surface.

⌖

TODAY. 

The streetlights were already on when we left the bookstore. We’d been there for hours, half-reading things we weren’t going to buy, loitering in the way we always did when we didn’t want to go home yet. Gigi had picked up some paperback with a half-naked knight on the cover and started reading the dialogue aloud in a dramatic British accent. I was laughing so hard I almost knocked over a display of poetry anthologies.

Normal.

It felt normal.

Until it didn’t.

The shift happened on the walk back. Subtle. Quick. The way she fell quiet too suddenly. Her steps grew faster, like she was trying to outrun her own shadow. Her hand was stuffed deep in her coat pocket, the other holding an untouched coffee she’d bought and never sipped. Her jaw had tensed. I could hear it in her silence, the kind that wasn’t comfortable anymore. I caught up with her just before we reached my building. “Hey,” I said, bumping my shoulder against hers. “You okay?”

She glanced at me, forced a small smile. “Yeah. Just tired.”

We climbed the stairs. I opened the door to my place, let her in first. She set her coffee down on the table like it offended her. I watched her for a second. Something was eating at her. I could feel it. Like smoke before fire. It made my skin itch. I kicked off my boots and followed her into the kitchen. She stood by the window, arms folded. She wasn’t looking out. Not really. Just… standing.

“Gigi,” I said carefully, “I know something’s off. Just tell me.”

She didn’t turn.

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“You’re lying.”

I said it quietly. Not like an accusation. More like a fact. She sighed, finally turning her head, her eyes meeting mine across the small kitchen.

Then she said it.

“I thought I saw someone. That’s all.”

“Who?”

She shrugged. That same casual shrug she always used when she didn’t want to talk about something. “I thought it was someone from back home. Doesn’t matter. I was wrong.” Her tone was flat. Not defensive. Not warm. Just… rehearsed.

And I couldn’t push further. Not without it feeling wrong.

So I let it hang.

The kitchen filled with the quiet tick of the wall clock, the low hum of the radiator. She moved to the sink, ran cold water over her hands for no reason at all, then wiped them on her jeans.

I didn’t press.

Not yet.

Because maybe she really did think she saw someone.

And maybe it really didn’t matter.

Or maybe, it mattered more than anything, and she was doing everything she could to keep it from spilling out. Either way, the quiet wasn’t peaceful anymore. And I didn’t know why.

I didn’t move.

I just stood there, near the table, watching her rinse her hands like she’d touched something that wouldn’t come off. She dried them on her jeans again, still not looking at me. “You thought it was someone from back home,” I repeated quietly. “Who?”

“I told you. It doesn’t matter.”

“Was it…” I trailed off, but only for a beat. “Was it him?”

That made her look up.

Not fast. Not startled.

Just a flick of her eyes in my direction.

Then back down again.

I took a step closer. “Gigi.”

“I said it was nothing.”

“Okay, but you flinched when your phone buzzed. You keep looking over your shoulder. You haven’t finished a single coffee in two weeks, and you never zone out like this unless you’re spiraling or haunted. So which is it?”

Her jaw clenched.

I tried again. Softer this time. “Is he bothering you again?”

That godawful ex of hers. The one who cheated. Lied. Made her feel like she was too much and not enough all at once. The one whose friends used to follow her home. The reason she left Brooklyn in the first place.

I kept going.

“Did you see him? Is he here? Because you know if he’s showing up, if he’s trying to start shit again-”

“No,” she cut in.

I blinked. “No, as in you didn’t see him? Or?”

“No, as in… it wasn’t him.”

She turned fully then, leaning her hip against the counter, arms crossed.

Her voice was steady now.

“I thought I saw someone. I was wrong. It wasn’t him. It wasn’t anyone.”

“Gigi…”

“I promise.” She gave me a smile. That fake kind. The kind that’s meant to be reassuring, but sits all wrong on her face. I didn’t know what to say.

So I nodded. Slowly. “Okay.”

She pushed off the counter and moved toward the living room like nothing had happened. Like I hadn’t asked. Like we hadn’t almost stepped into something too big to name.

And I let her go.

But in the back of my mind, something stuck.

When she said it wasn’t him, I’m convinced she’s lying. But for some reason, I could tell, she’s not.

─────── ⌖ ───────

Heyyyyyyy

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I’ll try my best to upload Chapter 14 today, if not, then hopefully tomorrow {I’ve got a final exam tomorrow so please bear with me}

Andddd guys… y’all are tooooo freakkyyy. I hear you, smut is on the way. Be patient. 

Anywaysss, enjoyyyyyy!!!

Yours truly, Raey ♡

─────── ⌖ ───────

[ next chapter ]

[maximoffwitch]

a johanna mason x oblivious!reader, where j always calms down around r and has a soft spot for her, then someone points it out to r and then r realizes that j is only soft for her and when she asks her, j confesses her feelings please? if that made sense 😅, thank you for ur time! i love ur writing :D

If I Know What Love Is, It Is Because of You

pairing: johanan mason x reader

warnings: canon typical violence, alcohol, blood

word count: 2.4k

summary: Everyone can see that Johanna loves you. Well, everybody but you.

a/n: thank you sm for requesting this! i had the best time writing this 🥹 and note: the scenes in italics are flashbacks!

Your head was pounding. The last place you wanted to be right now was this meeting. Yet here you were, sitting at the table, listening to Coin drone on about something as you all waited for everyone to show up – everyone being Johanna. 

“Where is Johanna?” Plutarch asked and nodded to the vacant seat the District 7 girl usually occupied. Everyone’s heads turned towards you, causing you to frown at the sudden attention.

“What?”

“Where is she?” The head gamemaker looked at you expectantly.

“Why would I know?” you asked exasperatedly, your irritation and fatigue becoming more and more evident.

Before Plutarch could respond with some quip, Finnick put his hand up and interjected. “She had a therapy session earlier,” he explained, knowing Johanna was likely hiding out in her room after her time with the head doctor.

“Let’s just start without her,” Cressida suggested impatiently, and you rolled your eyes, not even trying to hide your annoyance.

“No,” Coin shook her head. She knew the importance Johanna’s victor status held in this rebellion.  

“Well, someone needs to go get her,” Haymitch said before taking a swig of his drink. “(Y/N)?”

Again, everyone looked at you. 

“Why me?” you whined. You liked Johanna – more than you cared to admit – but right now, you were too drained to remedy her bad mood. 

“You’re the only one she tolerates,” Katniss explained.

You frowned and scrunched your brows. “What about Finnick?”

“She has a soft spot for you.” He shrugged at your perplexed look. 

“What?” You tilted your head, becoming increasingly confused. “No she doesn’t.”

“Oh really?” Finnick smirked, a mischievous glint in his eye. “What about that time with Enobaria and the glass table?”

“What did you just say to me?” Johanna seethed as she slowly put her drink down on the glass table before standing up to confront the other woman.

“You heard me.” Enobaria grinned, baring her sharp teeth. “Pawn.”

Johanna flipped the glass table, shattering it completely, causing glass to go flying. “I will kill you, Two,” she screamed, lunging at Enobaria and grabbing at her throat. 

“Hey, hey!” Finnick yelled and ran across the room to pull Johanna away.

“Speak to me again and I’ll be the one ripping your throat out.” She pointed at a leering Enobaria while struggling in Finnick’s hold.

“What the hell is going on in here?” you frowned, concern written across your face as you see Johanna, close to tears, being held back. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Johanna huffed, shrugging Finnick’s hands off her.

“Jo.” You hook your finger under her chin, lifting her gaze to meet yours. Your frown deepened as you saw her forehead was bleeding; a stray piece of glass must have caught her. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” Johanna closed her eyes and took a deep breath, immediately calming under your touch. Searching her eyes, you didn’t believe her but you didn’t say anything.

“Come on.” You took her hand and squeezed it. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“That was just because I came after the fight,” you protested weakly, your argument making little sense even to you.

Finnick rolled his eyes but said nothing. 

“Sweetheart,” Haymitch interjected, “that girl could not be more in love with you if she tried.”

He just sighed as you gave him a blank stare, your thoughts racing all over the place. 

“The whiskey incident?” Haymitch grinned smugly, tilting his glass to you before taking a sip.

This year’s Games were rough, even more than usual. Your tributes had a brutal day in the arena, and you were emotionally drained just from watching. 

Entering the common kitchen, you were in desperate need for a drink. You grabbed a glass and the bottle of District 7 whiskey Johanna brought from home.

As you gulped down your decent size pour, already refilling your glass, Haymitch swayed into the room, perking up when he saw the freshly opened bottle.

“What’s that?”

“District 7 whiskey,” you replied, before reading the label. “Hints of smoky pine.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” He chugged down whatever was remaining in his own cup before pouring himself some whiskey.

“I don’t think–” You tried to stop him, knowing Johanna would not be too pleased about Haymitch stealing her alcohol. 

“Hmm.” He let out a satisfied sigh as he inhaled the whiskey scent. 

But before he could take a test sip, a voice interrupted him.

“What do you think you’re doing? That’s mine,” Johanna walked in, visibly annoyed, and snatched the glass out of his hand. 

“(Y/N) is drinking some,” Haymitch argued childishly with an incredulous look. 

For a moment, you though you saw a sense of hesitancy flash in Johanna’s eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

“That’s because (Y/N) has some self-restraint while you drink by the bottle,” Johanna snarked, downing the glass Haymitch had poured himself.

“Hey, (Y/N/N),” Finnick poked his head in the room, briefly greeting the other two. “Cecelia was looking for you.”

You internally groaned and finished off your drink. “She probably wants to go over what happened today and strategize.”

Both Haymitch and Johanna sobered, knowing the District 8 tributes were likely not going to last much longer.

“Thanks, Jo.” You got up and pecked Johanna’s cheek, patting her shoulder. “I really needed that drink.”

“Yeah, no problem,” she responded under her breath. You gave her a small smile and slid past her out of the room. 

“You got something –“ Hamyitch motioned to the blush tinting Johanna’s cheek and gave her a knowing smirk.

Johanna snapped out of her brief daze and glared at him. “Oh, shut up, old man.”

“I would hardly call that an ‘incident,’” you objected, rolling your eyes. “I mean what did you expect, drinking what isn’t yours?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Haymitch waved you off. “My point still stands.”

All you could do was nod distractedly, as you were trying to process what Finnick and Haymitch were telling you. You and Johanna had been friends for several years, having met at Johanna’s Victory Tour banquet in the Capitol. Over the years, you knew you were falling for her but not wanting to ruin one of the only friendships you had left, you kept your feelings to yourself.

You would never expect Johanna to ever reciprocate your feelings. I mean why would she? She could be with anybody she wanted. Plus, the baggage that came with being a victor made being in any relationship difficult – for the both of you. 

But now you were starting to wonder if there was even a slight chance she felt the same.

“There was also the aftermath of the blood rain,” Katniss added, causing you to wince at the memory.

As you saw Wiress stumble out onto the beach, you recognized Johanna.

“Johanna!” You ran across the beach, Finnick closely behind you. 

“(Y/N)! Finnick!” She yelled back as the two older victors sunk into the water. 

As you got closer, you could see she was covered in blood and your chest tightened. “Johanna,” you whispered, furrowing your brows. 

“What happened? What is that?” Finnick caught his breath and assessed Johanna’s distressed state.

“It’s blood!” She laughed sardonically. “Just my luck. I’m covered in blood!”

By now, Peeta and Katniss had caught up as Johanna continued to tell what happened.

“Well, I got ‘em out. We were all the way deep into the jungle where I thought it was gonna be safe. That’s when the rain started. I thought it was water. Turned out to be blood,” Johanna explained, Wiress approaching behind her, muttering ‘tick tock’ repeatedly. “Hot, thick blood was coming down. It was choking us. We were stumbling around, gagging on it, blind.”

You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding, relieved that at least it wasn’t her own blood.

“That’s when Blight hit the forcefield.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Whether she was mourning her fellow District 7 victor or trying to keep herself from shutting Wiress up, or both, you couldn’t tell. “He wasn’t much but he was from home.”

As Katniss asked about Wiress, to which Beetee responded with something about freshwater, you could only focus on Johanna. You knew her like the back of your hand, and you knew Wiress was getting on her last nerve. Johanna was already not too happy about having to stick with the District 3 victors and being separated from you. 

“Tick tock,” Wiress pleaded, grabbing Johanna’s shoulders. 

“Just stop,” Johanna screamed and pushed the older woman into the sand. “Just sit down!”

“Hey!” Katniss yelled, quickly advancing towards Johanna, going straight for her throat. 

“Hey, what are you doing?” Johanna immediately retaliated, shoving right back.

“Hey, hey, hey.” You instinctively grabbed Johanna and pulled her away, Peeta doing the same with Katniss, albeit less aggressively.

“I got them out for you,” she continued to shout. As you pulled her further away, you could feel her body start to calm. 

“Jo, you’re okay,” you assure calmly, loosening your grasp on her. “It’s okay.”

“I’m fine,” she said sharply and pulled her arm away from you, but you weren’t phased by her anger.

“Johanna, hey, look at me,” you coaxed her into meeting your eyes, cupping her face. “You’re okay.”

Johanna stared into your eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m okay,” she breathed, leaning her forehead against yours. 

“We’re okay,” you assured, leaning into her touch. “Now, let me clean you off.”

“She has a soft spot for you, (Y/N/N),” Finnick said, snapping you out of the memory. 

Your mind was reeling. As you thought back to the years of friendship with Johanna, you realized that they’re right, that she’s never been mad at you, that she is only soft for you.

“I gotta go,” you mumble, getting up and quickly scurrying out of the room.

“We still need to have this meeting,” Plutarch called after you, but you paid him no mind. You needed to get to Johanna.

Weaving through the underground halls towards the dormitory area, you could feel your heart pounding against your chest.

As you arrived at Johanna’s room, you took a deep breath and knocked. “Johanna?”

“It’s open,” she responded.

Pushing the door open, you were met with the sight of Johanna sitting on floor, leaning against her bed, as she fiddled with something between her fingers.

“You know–“ You hovered over her, shoving your hands in your pocket. “You missed the meeting. Coin’s pretty peeved.”

“Yeah, well she can just fuck off,” Johanna cursed, still focused on the piece of fabric in her hands, which you recognized as the scrap of embroidery you’d given her before the Quell. 

You moved to sit on the edge of the bed, a heavy silence still hanging in the air, as Johanna still had yet to really acknowledge you.

“Are you upset with me, Johanna?” you asked, selfishly wanting to confirm your suspicions.

“What? No.” Her head immediately snapped up as she finally looked at you. “Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know,” you mumbled, shrugging. 

“Well, I’m not.” She went back to playing with a stray thread on the scrap of cloth.

You nodded and another brief moment of silence passed between you before you asked, “Johanna, do you have feelings for me?”

Her eyes widened, clearly taken by surprise. “What?”

“Well, it’s just that everyone was talking about how you have a soft spot for me and that I’m the only one you never get angry with. So, I started thinking and it’s true. You’re always kind to me, even if you’re upset. 

“You’ve been there for me all these years, through everything Snow and the Games have thrown at us, and I know I can always count on you. I’ve always cherished our friendship, which is why I never said anything, but I do love you. I’m in love with you,” you confessed, ending your long-winded ramble.

Johanna remained quiet, still staring at the embroidered scrap. Pushing herself off the ground, she joined you to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Remember the day you gave me this?”

You nodded with a small hum. It was the last day you could see her before entering the arena where you would be separated. You wanted her to have a piece of you in case the worst were to happen.

“I was so angry that day,” Johanna revealed, finally looking up and meeting your eyes. “I thought this was your way of saying goodbye, that you were admitting defeat.”

“Johanna,” you trailed off, a crestfallen look on your face. 

“Let me finish,” she softly insisted. “It was the first night in the arena when I realized that that anger was actually fear. I remember watching the fallen tributes in the sky and holding my breath, praying you wouldn’t show up. I was so scared, scared I was going to lose you.”

“You didn’t lose me.” You took her hand in yours, squeezing it lightly. “I’m right here.”

“I know.” She took a deep breath and gave you a small smile. “Mostly, I was scared I wouldn’t be able to tell you how I really felt about you.”

Your lips parted, hope flooding your body.

“I love you, (Y/N),” Johanna whispered so quietly that you wouldn’t have heard her if you weren’t inches away. 

Tucking a loose hair out of your face, she glanced down at your lips. 

“Can I–“

Before she could finish her sentence, you leaned forward and kissed her. There were no sparks or fireworks like everyone says a first kiss should have. Rather, there was a sense of familiarity and comfort, as if you were all each other knew. And in a way, you were. 

Johanna was the only constant thing in your life, the only person who truly knew you as you and not some violent victor or Capitol show pony. 

Breaking apart, Johanna leaned her forehead against yours. Your eyes were still closed as you savored the feeling of her lips on your skin.

“Hey.” She caressed your cheek with the pad of her thumb, and you opened your eyes with a content sigh. 

“Hi.” 

“You know,” Johanna started, her fingers running through your hair as you dropped your head against her shoulder. “They’re right.”

“About what?” you mumbled into her shirt.

“I do have a soft spot for you,” she kissed the side of your head.

“Good.” You lifted your head, a small smile dancing on your face. “Because I have one for you too.”

[roostersgirlfriendlovesf1]

you're losing me | charles leclerc

prompt: charles has been off the past couple of weeks and all y/n wants to do is help him, but what can she do when he won't open up? it's tiring feeling alone, but it's hard to speak up. will charles finally let her in or will it be the end?

warnings: angst and sadness, but it ends up ok lol

a/n: hey guys! this is just a one part story, but i would really love some prompts. please feel free to request anything! i write for bradley bradshaw, lando norris, charles leclerc, mason mount, jake sersein, and christian pulisic. i also love using songs as inspo so pls feel free to use a song as a prompt! thanks for the support!

The past couple of weeks had been a game of if Charles would speak when he got home or not. The endless amounts of sympathy y/n gave him didn’t seem to open him up. She thought that perhaps he would let himself enjoy life over the summer break, but she doesn’t think he has even said four words to her. The past few days he had left early for runs, climbing out of bed and getting back into it without so much as a squeak of a floorboard. Nightly rituals between them had been forgotten.  This was only their third month… She thought. There were so many things left unsaid between them, things that she felt unimportant to tell him. Things she thought could be seen as coming off “too strong.” But she was extremely tired of feeling alone. She missed his arm around her as they watched the Monaco skies, she missed the smell of his hair after he showered, and she just missed the sound of his voice. Her clothes in his drawers dedicated to her started to feel misplaced. She felt like her presence started to feel like an intrusion. She was practically living with him, but it started to feel like she should be paying rent. 

y/n sat on a barstool, waiting for Charles to come back from running whatever errand he hadn’t told her about. Her head was in her hands as she stared lazily out the window, dark clouds were forming. Click. The door opened. She looked at him, urging him to speak. He looked at her, a quick glance before walking into their room. She heard the water start running in the shower. A tight feeling formed in her throat. How can he not see there’s a problem?  She placed her head in her hands and allowed herself to shed a few tears. A few minutes went by before the sound of footsteps interrupted her silence. She picked her head up. “Charlie?” She tries to get his attention. No answer. Nothing new. She’s not sure she even remembers what it sounds like when he says her name. A sigh leaves his mouth.

“Yes?”

“Where are you going?” She asked, just a simple question.

“Out to dinner.” He tied his shoes. 

Please just look at me. Please just see that there is something wrong. A brief moment of silence. “Somethings not working.” She bit her nails.

“I don’t understand.” He shook his head, dismissing her statement.

“I know you don’t.” Her brows furrowed. This can still be fixed. Everything we built can still stand. “Charles, you haven’t said four words to me since you’ve gotten home. Hell, you’ve barely talked to me for weeks. I don’t know what to do!”

“I don’t know what you're talking about.”

“You haven’t even touched me.” The room once filled with light felt cold and empty.

“Didn’t know you needed that validation.” He mumbled. 

“A hug is seen as validation? A fucking hug from someone I haven’t seen or spoken to because he won’t respond whether it’s in person or over the phone!” Just pull me into a hug now, all will be forgotten. Please just hold me. 

“I don’t have time for this right now.” Disappointment. 

“It's now or never. I’ve given you the best I have.” Tell me what to give after that. Her voice caught. She stood, feeling vulnerable in his sweatshirt and his sweatpants. Silence again. Silence that he was not willing to break. “Okay.” She nodded. “I’ll be out of here by the time you get home. I just-” She ran a hand through her hair, “I just need a bit to gather my things.” Guilt panged in her chest, the feeling of being an intruder tearing through her. She held her head high as she walked into their room, grabbing an empty box from beside the trash. 

“Y/n.” He stood in the doorframe. She willed herself to continue packing, despite her longing for his voice. “Y/n.”

“Enough!” She slammed the shirt she had started folding into the box. “Just go to dinner.”

“I didn’t fucking ask you to stay through anything!” He snapped. “I don’t need to see you or feel your embrace every time I come home from a shitty race weekend.”

“Good because it's never happening again! You won’t ever have to see me again after tonight.” The sound of thunder caused her to flinch. Charles’ face softened as he glanced out the window. 

“You can’t leave tonight.” He shook his head.

“I’ll do whatever I want.” She seethed. She kept her head down, making no eye contact. “You’ll do whatever you want tomorrow when the storm clears.” He stated. Y/n held her breath until she felt his presence dissolve. The sound of his footsteps led her to believe he went to his sim room. She shut the door quietly before breaking down. Her face felt burning hot as she rapidly shoved clothes into a random backpack. She frantically tried to collect herself before stepping back into the living room. She held a box in her arms as she struggled to open the apartment door. Rain poured as she sheltered under the overhang of the building. Her heart pounded, all she wanted to do was get out of his way. Y/n made a run for her car and quickly opened the trunk, shoving the box inside before slamming it closed and heading back inside. The lighting of the apartment was dark as the natural lighting was miniscule. Charles had moved to the couch, a solemn look in his eyes as he scrolled on his phone. He glanced up to see y/n drenched in rain. “Mon coeur…” He watched her as she ignored him and kept walking back to their room. He followed her, attempting to talk, but was quickly denied as she reached their bathroom and quickly locked the door. 

Y/n peeled off the wet clothes and glanced at herself in the mirror. A quick rush of feeling came back to her as she let out a sob, steadying herself on the sink counter. The coldness of the rain washed off of her as she bathed in the warmth of the shower, although the tears never ceased to flow. How does she pick up her life after this? The relationship was so public, that doesn’t just fizzle out. 

She walked into the bedroom, towel wrapped around her. Charles was sitting at the foot of the bed, feet planted, head in hands. She quietly grabbed her undergarments, a shirt, and a pair of sleep shorts from the bag she had packed earlier and retreated back into the bathroom. She never did that. Charles thought. She never hid herself away instead of doing something so intimate as changing her clothes in front of him. She changed in the bathroom and washed her face. Y/n opened the bathroom door slowly and noticed Charles in the same position. “I’m so embarrassed.” He spoke. 

“Now you talk…” She whispered. 

“I’m so fucking emberassed with myself I can’t stand it.” He held the end of the sleeves of his sweater in his hands. “I know I don’t deserve you and I know I’ve treated you horribly. There’s no excuse.” He kept his composure. “My team is just so-so aggravating and for a while I viewed you as my escape from all that, but the more interested in me you got and the more you wanted to know the more I grew embarrassed. I’m embarrassed with my performance in the car and I’m embarrassed for you to see that I’m undeserving of you. I never wanted to tear you down with me though.”

Her mouth opened to speak, but her body moved first. She sat down next to him and pulled him into a hug. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“Me too.” She kissed the side of his face.

“I love you.” He brushed the wet hair off of her face. “And I really don’t want you to leave.”

[cameronspecial]

Thorn In My Side, Rose In My Hand (Part 10)

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings:  Suggestion of sex, and Rafe being aggressive.

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3.4K

Summary: Finally able to tell Rafe the truth leads to an intimate moment.

A/N: There are only 5 more parts of the series left!!!!

Masterlist

The following day, Y/N did everything in her power to avoid Rafe at school. She had driven herself to school even though Rafe was the one driving Mason to school. She got to her classes even earlier than she normally does. Heck, she even held a last-minute, definitely not needed student council meeting at lunch just to have an excuse not to sit with him. She knew it was wrong and he didn’t deserve it, but she just wasn’t ready to confront her feelings yet. 

However, her plans were changed when Rafe found her in the gazebo after school. He moves away from the door to make sure she can leave if she wants to but also ensures to keep a safe distance from her in order to not unease her any more than she already is. “I think we should talk. The last time we did, I said all the wrong things and we ended up fighting. Having you avoid me hurts like hell. So please talk to me,” Rafe pleads to the girl. She lets out a soft sigh and takes her headphones off, “You’re right. We should talk. I’m sorry that I kept provoking the fight last night. I just… I was really ready for us to go farther than that. But then I couldn’t help but think about what Molly and Hannah said and I got a little nervous.”

“That’s okay. I hope you know that I don’t want to do anything you aren’t ready for. You know you still haven’t told me what they said that day. Maybe if I knew, it could help me understand how to reassure you.”

“Right. They were talking about our sex life and how they couldn’t see how I could satisfy you in that way. Normally, it wouldn’t affect me. But Rafe, I’ve never liked or cared for someone as much as I do for you. I got so caught up in my own fears that I hesitated. And then I picked a fight with you because I didn’t want to be honest at the time.”

“Okay, I understand why you might feel a little insecure if you heard them saying stuff like that. Y/N, I may have slept with more people than you but none of those times were perfect. You wanna know why?”

“Why?”

“Because they were not you. For me, it’s not the person's actual skills that make it perfect, but the fact that you are sharing an intimate moment with someone you love and care for. I will be ready to show you what I mean when you feel 100% comfortable with the situation.”

“I know you will be. And I’m really sorry about what I said.”

“It’s no problem at all, my rose. As long as you are okay.”

“You know, nobody is home right now.”

“Really? Well, if you think you are ready, then I don’t see any harm in trying.”

With nothing more to say, Y/N grabs Rafe’s hand and leads him toward the bedroom. She quickly shuts the door behind them. Rafe rolls them over so Y/N’s back is against the door and he locks it. He starts pressing light kisses against her neck. He trails the kisses lower and lower until he has to lift up the edge of her dress to reach his desired location. 

———

Y/N wakes up from her nap cuddled in Rafe’s arms and his sweatshirt covering her body. She lifts her head from his chest to check if he is awake, which he is. “How are you feeling?” he whispers with his lips pressed against her forehead. Y/N turns to press a kiss to his bare chest, “Amazing. You made me feel amazing. How about you?” 

“I feel perfect. I’m glad you enjoyed it. What do you want to eat for dinner?”

“Can we order sushi? I want one with avocado in it.”

“Of course, I’ll get our regular. Be right back.” 

Rafe gently removes himself from her hold and picks up his phone. She watches as he heads into the bathroom and listens as the bathtub starts to run. She thinks nothing of it as she checks her phone. She has a text from Mason saying he and their parents are almost home. “Cameron, can you order some food for Mace and my parents too, please?” she calls out to him. “Okay. I’ll just order more of what I’m getting already.” She doesn’t question when she hears him rummaging through her cabinet; instead, she continues to look through her phone. 

A few minutes later, Rafe comes out of the bathroom, walking right towards her. “I’ve already ordered the food and I ran you a bath. Is it okay if I carry you to the bathroom?” Y/N’s shock causes her to reply with a mere nod of her head. He picks her up bridal style and takes her into the bathroom, placing her on the toilet. He gives her time to take the sweater off by herself and helps her into the tub. She observes as the bubbles pop under the pressure of her weight. Once she is settled, he unwraps a bath bomb and drops it into the tub. He leaves the room for a second and returns with her laptop playing Criminal Minds. He places it on her bathroom trolley just as the doorbell rings. “I’m going to go get the food ready downstairs. Stay in here as long as you’d like. Your parents and Mace said they hit some traffic so it will be another thirty minutes until they get home,” Rafe informs, kissing her lips before going downstairs. 

———

Around twenty minutes later, Y/N goes downstairs to see Rafe has set the table for everyone. Ironically, Mason and her parents have just entered through the door. “Good, the food here. I’m starving, dude,” Mason grumbles, sitting himself down at the table and eating without waiting for anyone else. Cassie is quick to chastise the boy, “Mason, you should’ve waited for everyone else.” “Sorry,” he apologizes with his mouth full. Everyone else shakes their head and joins him at the table. 

After dinner, Mason clears the table for everyone so Y/N and Rafe head out for a stroll on the beach. She rests her head on his shoulder and enjoys the music coming from his phone. “I could stay here forever,” she mumbles. Rafe smiles down at her, “Me too. I just want forever with you. Wherever that is and whatever that means. I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

Their first I love yous. 

———

The weekend comes before they know it. Y/N and Rafe are woken up by a small weight jumping up and down on top of them. Y/N feels tiny fingers trying to pull her eyelids apart and hears a small voice call out, “Y/N/N! Wakey wakey. Why is Rafe in your bed?” Y/N bolts up at the sound of the tiny voice. “Bells, what are you doing here?” she questions her three-year-old cousin. In the corner of her eye, she can see Rafe is also sitting up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. The small girl straddles Y/N’s front and starts playing with her cheeks, “Mommy said to come to wake you up. Mason and you are going to watch me and Frankie. Mommy, Uncle Vin and Auntie Cass are going to go to the mainland for a wine tour.” Y/N groans at being left to babysit her younger cousins. She loves the two, but she has a ton of work she needs to get done for school today. Before she can respond, the three-year-old repeats her previous question. “Why is Rafe in your bed?” “Y/N/N and I are dating now, Bella. That’s why I’m sleeping in her bed,” Rafe laughs. He had met the inquisitive toddler many times at family events because of the fact that he is Mason’s best friend. “Come on, let’s go get some breakfast to eat.” Rafe picks the young girl up and carries her downstairs, letting Y/N trail behind the pair. She can hear Bella telling Rafe about the cars she saw on the way here. 

At the bottom of the stairs, the adults are waiting at the front door. “Good, you guys are awake. Could you please watch after your cousins?” Marvin states, handing over Franklin in the car seat. No matter how much work she has, Y/N would never deprive her Aunt Millie of some independent time, “Of course.” The adults smile at the trio and they leave after saying goodbye. “Did you guys eat already, Bells?” Rafe asks the girl, sitting her on the counter in front of him. He stays standing in front of her to make sure she doesn’t fall. “No, can we make pancakes? Please, Y/N/N,” Bella begs with puppy dog eyes. Y/N smiles at the girl, “Sure. Why don’t you make some with Rafe because he is the better cook while I feed your brother?” 

Y/N is pretending the spoon filled with mashed strawberries is a plane, hoping it will get the baby to eat. But as she gets the spoon close to his mouth, he quickly turns his head which results in a small smear of red to stain his face. She sighs and motions for Rafe to come towards her. Understanding what she intends to do, he comes closer to his girlfriend. “Look, Frankie. Rafe is going to be a good boy and eat his food,” Y/N tries, shoving the spoon into his mouth. She notices that it catches the baby’s attention and goes to give Rafe another spoonful. “Rafe,” a tiny angry cry falls out of the baby’s lips. Franklin reaches his hand out towards the spoon to bring it towards him. Y/N looks at the boy in shock; not believing that her baby cousin’s first word is her boyfriend’s name. Bella squeals at the milestone her brother achieved and Rafe just grins while swallowing the food. “That’s right, buddy. I’m Rafe.” Y/N snaps out of her shock to feed the now whining child. 

With the children fed and changed into cleaner clothes, she needs a small break just to get a start with her schoolwork. Rafe offers to watch them while she goes to her room because they both know that if they wake Mason up to watch the children chaos would follow. Y/N finishes up some of her coursework in the hour she gave herself and goes to find everyone. She couldn’t find them inside the house or outside in the backyard, so she went to check his car. Of course, that is where she finds Rafe, with his nails painted in a rainbow pattern and his hair tied in tiny ponytails, behind the wheel of his jeep. Bella is sitting on his lap in the driver’s seat and Franklin is in the passenger seat taking a nap. The pair still awake haven’t noticed Y/N’s arrival. 

“Yep, that is the gas pedal. It tells the car to go. If this was a standard car, then you would have another peda pedall to switch gears,” Rafe finishes explaining to the car-obsessed girl. 

“I know, my daddy showed me how a standard car works already. I even helped him build a model of a standard car. Do you love Y/N?” 

Bella being three means that the sudden change in conversation doesn’t surprise Rafe at all.

“I do. I love her very much. She makes me really happy.”

“What’s your favourite thing about her?” 

“She isn’t afraid to tell me the truth and I love how she isn’t afraid to be passionate about reading.”

“I like it when she reads to me. Do you think you are going to marry her?” 

“I hope so. Nothing would make me happier than being with her forever.”

Y/N can’t help but feel butterflies in her stomach as she eavesdrops on the conversation but eventually has to make her presence known because she feels guilty for spying. “Hey, you too. Why don’t we get you two monsters buckled up and we can go pick out a book to read,” she suggests based off of Bella mentioning she likes it when Y/N reads to her. This excites the little girl as she almost throws herself back into the back seat. Rafe and Y/N laugh at the small girl. 

———

Rafe can’t help but watch the scene in front of him with nothing but love in his eyes. Y/N is carrying Bella while they look at different books for them to read together. “Bells, look. This one is about cars. Should we get it?” Y/N asks her cousins. “Yes! Look Y/N/N that man on the book looks like Rafe,” Bella points towards a book with a man who does look like Rafe and is also shirtless. Rafe laughs at it, knowing that it is probably a romance book, “I’m getting you this. So you think of me when you read this.” Y/N doesn’t object to his statement and they both head over to the cashier with their goods in tow. She can’t even take her card out before Rafe is handing over the baby to Y/N so he can get out his card to pay. Y/N has learnt to stop arguing with Rafe about paying; she just buys him gifts and food to surprise him with. 

When they get home from the store, Mason is sitting at the kitchen island and Franklin has a full diaper. “I’m going to go change him,” Rafe announces, picking up Frankie and the diaper bag. He makes his way to Y/N’s bathroom because she has a long enough counter to fit the babe and places the changing mat on top of it. He removes the soiled diaper and wipes Franklin’s bum. But as he goes to get a clean diaper, Franklin starts giggling and when Rafe turns towards the boy to see why he is laughing, he feels a warm liquid being shot onto his chest. “Ahh, come on little buddy. You couldn’t have waited until I had the diaper on you,” Rafe complains, watching as the baby just giggles and finishes up his assault. Rafe finishes up the changing and unbuttons his shirt before washing his hands. 

Y/N's eyebrow shoots up as she watches her baby cousin and her shirtless boyfriend return from upstairs. “Dude, where’s your shirt?” Mason grumbles with a mouth full of cereal. Bella can be heard giggling at the sight, “Did Frankie pee on you?” Rafe just nods his head and sits beside Y/N at the breakfast nook. 

“How did you know?”

“He does that sometimes to Daddy, but only Daddy. He never does it to Mommy.”

“Bella, how come you didn’t tell me?”

“I don’t know. I forgot? It’s funny when he does it.”

“Ohh, is it? Well, I think the tickle monster sees someone who needs to be tickled.”

Rafe hands the baby over to Y/N and goes in to tickle Bella. She watches the domestic scene in front of her with the baby in her lap. She imagines her future with Rafe and wonders if their house would be filled with the laughter of their children. Would Rafe come downstairs complaining of a harmless prank from their children? Would he make them breakfast while singing along to the soundtrack of whatever Disney movie is popular at the time? “Do you ever think of getting married?” Y/N blurts out without thinking. This causes the room to fall silent. Rafe looks at her with love in her eyes, “Is this your way of proposing? Because I gotta say, I was imagining something more grand. But to answer your question: all the time. Just not anytime soon. Maybe when we are 25 and a little more settled in life.” At the mention of the question not being an if they get married but a when she feels her heart flutter. 

———

After school on Monday, Y/N and Rafe decide to go to a restaurant for a date, seeing as they haven’t done such a formal date even though they have been dating for more than a month. She is returning from the bathroom when some guy who isn’t watching where he is going bumps into her with such force that she trips on her own feet. She knows he saw her fall because of him, but he continues on walking like nothing happened. Rafe sees the whole interaction and his blood pressure rises. He quickly goes to help Y/N up, then goes to confront the man. “Yo, bud. You need to apologize to my girlfriend,” he says calmly, pointing toward her. He doesn’t want to let his anger get the best of him with Y/N here and the upscale place they are in. The man looks back at Rafe with disinterest on his face, “Why? It’s not my fault she is clumsy.” This causes Rafe to go from like 20 to 100. “IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT?! IT’S NOT HER FAULT YOU ARE AN AGGRESSIVE ASSHOLE! NOW, APOLOGIZE.” This causes the restaurant to quiet as they watch the scene unfold. 

Y/N tries to pull Rafe back as he approaches the person on the receiving end of his anger. The older man in the suit shrinks at Rafe’s dominating stance and whispers an apology before scurrying off to the table. A waiter is quick to approach the couple and ask them to leave after the scene. However, Rafe doesn’t seem to process the words as he stares down the man from where he is now sitting alone. This time his girlfriend tugs a little harder and speaks up. “Come on, Cameron. Let’s go to the car.” She takes his hand and walks towards the exit, but once she leaves the building, she notices his hand slip out of hers. She thinks nothing of it, believing he just needs some space until she gets to the car and turns to see his hands in front of his face. She knows he is trying to hide tears and rushes towards him. “What’s wrong?” she mumbles, pulling his head towards her chest and wiping the tears for him. 

“I got us kicked out of the restaurant. We couldn’t even go one night without my anger getting the best of me.”

“Cameron, that wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t exactly fair that we were the only people that got asked to leave. But that’s life.”

“But it’s my aggression that was the issue. Am I too aggressive? What if I hurt you because of it?”

“You would never hurt me, so don’t even think about that. And you may be aggressive sometimes, but you are like a thorn. When you are handled roughly and without care,  you prick people with your aggression. But when people take the time to handle you with care, they don’t get hurt.”

“You really think so?”

“Of course, I mean look at how you were with my cousin. You literally got peed on and you still laughed about it. You felt safe and loved in that moment and you met that mood. Plus, you were only protecting me from that jackass. You need aggression for that.”

“Yeah, that’s true. So I’m like the thorn to your rose.”

Y/N takes his head into her head and wipes the tears away, “Yeah, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I just know that you will be the best person to protect our kids.” She gives him a soft kiss on the lips. “Now, come on. I didn’t want anything to eat from that place anyways. Let’s get some pizza.” 

———

The next morning, Y/N is rounding her way into the kitchen when she hears Rafe and Ward in the kitchen. She freezes and once again eavesdrops on a conversation that would lead to her questioning the future of her relationship. “Rafe, where do you see this relationship going? I know you’ve known the Y/L/Ns since you were five, but Y/N’s dream is to go to Oxford. You are going to UNC for Business and going to take over the family business. How do you expect to handle such a long distance for four years? Not to mention what happens if she decides to move there,” Ward argues. Y/N doesn’t wait for Rafe to answer his father because she starts to become consumed by the seeds Ward has planted. She makes her way upstairs to pretend she just woke up, waiting for him to come and get her. 

Taglist: @itsalexwin @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @gillybear17 @terraeluce @f4ll-for-you

[football-and-fanfics]

Breaking Point - Mason Mount & Declan Rice

Who: Mason Mount, Declan Rice Prompt: Receiving (online) hate Requested by: anonymous Word count: 720 Warnings: mentions of mental struggle and receiving hate.

I need to see you.

Declan stared once more at the WhatsApp message he had received from Mason that morning. He had offered to videocall, but Mason had been adamant to make the drive from Manchester all the way up to London.

Declan frowned as he read those five words for the umpteenth time. It could mean anything, but somehow he had a bad feeling about this. He knew things hadn't been easy for Mason ever since his move to Manchester United, and he couldn't quite shake the feeling Mason had reached a breaking point.

---

Declan raced for the door as soon as the doorbell rang. He had barely opened the door, when Mason already pushed passed him.

"I've had enough! I don't understand why people would do this? What's the fun in being so hateful?! Don't they understand that we're people, too, with feelings?" Mason rambled uncontrollably, gesturing wildly with his hands, and pacing up and down the hallway of Declan's house. Declan closed the door behind them and slowly turned around to Mason. This was even worse than he had expected....

"Mase, calm down." Declan tried to ease his friend. "It's alright, I'm here. Please, tell me what happened." Mason stopped and fell silent. His hands shook with emotion and his eyes were wild. "I need it to... stop." His voice broke. "What, mate, what?" Declan asked desperately. He wanted nothing more than to help, there was no doubt Mason needed him right now, but if he could only find out what had happened to send Mason spiraling so out of control.

Mason ran a trembling hand through his hair, looking more disheveled that Declan had ever seen him. He gulped for air a few times, before he finally pulled his phone from the pocket of his jacket. He tapped on the screen a few times and then held it out to Declan. "Read it." Mason's voice sounded strained, laden with emotion.

Declan took the phone from Mason a little apprehensively. He wasn't sure what he was going to see, but he was damn sure he wasn't going to like it.

The screen showed the DM section of Mason's Instagram. Declan slowly scrolled through it and felt himself get more and more nauseous with each message he read. All of them contained so much hate, threats and wishes of all kinds of diseases upon Mason, each as revolting as the next.

"Mate..." Now it was Declan's voice that broke. "This is... beyond vile." Mason hung his head, slowly shaking it. "I can't take anymore. I need it to stop." "We're going to think of something." Declan recollected himself. "We'll make a plan on what to do. And, for starters, you're going to stay here with me for the next few days." "I can't," Mason sniffled, "I've got training." "No, you don't," Declan said resolutely, "I don't care how many calls you have to make, but you're taking a leave of absence, at least until after the weekend."

Mason glanced up at Declan. The man he's known for so long, whom he trusted with his life, and who knew him through and through. "I mean it." Declan looked dead-serious. "I'm not letting you drive back to Manchester in your current condition. Hell, it scares me that you already did it once!"

Mason blew out a deep breath. His shoulders sagged and his entire posture deflated like a balloon. The idea of crashing at Declan's for a few days, away from all those horrible messages and negativity, actually sounded like a blessing.

"Thank you." Mason swallowed hard to try and keep his tears in. Declan closed the space between them, resting his hands on Mason's shoulders. "It's hard, I know, but we're going to figure this out." Mason sniffled softly, before he nodded silently.

"Come on." Declan slung an arm around Mason's shoulders and guided him to the living room. "Take a seat. I'll make you some tea, and we're just going to take it easy for a little while, get you calmed down."

Mason couldn't even begin to express his gratitude towards Declan. But that was how deep their friendship went. Even left unspoken, they knew they meant the world to each other and that they could always rely on each other, during the good times and the bad.

Tags: @stonesyyyy, @footballffbarbiex, @football1921, @laurasstufff1, @juliabrghs, @nightlockcornucopia, @hbstre, @sarah10r-blog, @mountsgirlsblog

Add me to the tags list Mason Mount masterlist | Declan Rice masterlist | Full writing masterlist

[mountttmase]

Every Second Of Everyday

Note - I’m running out of fics 😭 this one was never supposed to see the light of day but here we are. I hope you enjoy and I’d love some feedback 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 6k

Warnings - angst, fluff & smut

‘So yeah I mean Its really easy, you just have to buy in the dip but obviously you need to know when that is, I can totally teach you if you want me too”

‘Oh yeah sounds… super interesting’

Not.

Listening to a man you’d only met properly an hour and a half ago waffle on about crypto currency and NFT’s was not how you imagined your Wednesday would be going. You had no idea what he was going on about, and you didn’t care either. Disappointment had flooded through you from about ten minutes into the date, he seemed so different from when you’d been messaging. He barely asked you anything about yourself and spent the whole time trying to explain, or rather boast, to you what he did for a living.

‘I’m just popping to the loo, be back in a sec’ he smiled as he stood from his chair. You smiled back and nodded lightly, watching him walk away from you as you let out a quiet sigh of relief. Thankful you were finally alone but not two seconds later you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. You quickly pulled it out to check it wasn’t an emergency, having not looked at it the whole way through lunch, not wanting to be rude, but the name that flashed up was the last person you thought it would be.

Mason

What the hell did he want?

You and Mason were… complicated. You knew how you felt about him and you were pretty sure he felt the same but for some reason nothing has ever come of it. You’d grown up best friends with Lauren James and her bother Reece, so it was inevitable you’d meet Mason sooner or later. Reece had always mentioned him growing up to the point where you felt like you knew him already sometimes, but you kept yourself slightly separate from that part of their lives, wanting to be the escape from football.

The moment of you meeting Mason came just under six months ago. The season had been over for a week and Reece was throwing a party at his house meaning Lauren insisted you came with her. Reece introduced you to Mason within the first ten minutes of you stepping in the door and you were hooked on him from the first look.

You obviously knew who he was but you tried to play it cool and make out you didn’t. Mason bought your calm exterior hook, line and sinker, telling you that you weren’t like most of the girls he meets at these things. You spent most of that night in his company, laughing at his stupid attempts to make you smile and falling for those gorgeous brown eyes every time you looked in them. He wasn’t anything like you thought he’d be, you were expecting an ego the size of a truck to match his perfect face but as time went on you realised he was just a normal guy who did a not so normal job. You exchanged numbers at the end of the night, him kissing your cheek promising to text you the very next day and you didn’t expect anything from him with how busy he was yet when you woke up the next day with a message from him your tummy had erupted into butterflies.

It had all started out so well, cute texts here and there and promises of seeing each other as soon as you could but nothing ever materialised. You got it, he was Mason Mount and you were you but it didn’t mean it hurt any less. The texts mostly dried up, only checking in with each other here and there and only seeing each other at social events. You’d made peace with the fact nothing probably would ever happen yet that didn’t stop him from getting his way when he wanted.

He would always make eye contact with you from across the room when you were together, smirking cheekily when he noticed the blush taking over your cheeks as his come to bed eyes raked over you hungrily. He liked the fact he could do that to you and he seemed to make it his mission to tease the life out of you. His hands always finding your waist as he passed behind you, or sitting as close as he could to you on the sofa so he could run his fingers over your thighs.

You loved and hated every second of it.

You thought he was unbelievably attractive and it only took a flash of his perfect smile to get you hot under the collar. Every time his tongue poked out between his lips to wet them made your knees weak and you were pretty certain no other boy had made you feel like this before. It wasn’t all bad, and you soon fell for his goofy playful side. Admiring the way he was always making people, yourself included, laugh at his stupid jokes and sometimes it seemed like he didn’t have a fear of making himself look like a prat. You found him awfully endearing when he wasn’t trying to get under your skin so the stupid little crush you had on him didn’t face in the slightest.

But in the last two months it had become unbearable. He was a lot braver with his actions and one night after a little bit too much to drink he’d cornered you in the kitchen, pressing feather light kisses to the top of your shoulder from behind you and slowly making his way up your neck as you were trying grab a glass. No words were exchanged as he pressed his lips to your skin, knowing he’d followed you in hoping to catch you alone and If it hadn’t been for the loud crash coming from the other room you would have let him carry on. It seemed to snap him out of whatever trance he was in though and after giving you a quick wink he turned on his heel and left you stood flabbergasted.

You told yourself that night that whatever game he was playing was over. You weren’t one to stick up for yourself, clearly, but you couldn’t stand another second of him having this weird hold over you without it leading anywhere. The next morning you dowloaded a dating app, telling yourself you needed to get out there and meet some different people and see what happens. Show him that he wasn’t free to keep dangling ideas in front of your face without acting on them.

Which is how you need up in this situation today.

Charlie had seemed nice when you matched him a few days ago. He was cute and and he made you laugh but being sat opposite him was a complete other story. This was the third different date you’d been on in a month and you were starting to loose all hope of finding anyone that made you feel a fraction of what Mason did.

You sighed as you unlocked your phone to see what he wanted but your blood ran cold as you opened up the message.

It was you.

Well the back of you anyway, sat in the exact place you were right now. You slowly turned round and your eyes locked onto his right away, sat three tables back and slightly off to the left. You whipped back around before he could do anything else and tried to calm you racing heart.

What are the bloody chances?

As soon as you finished your thought, your phone buzzed again. Another text from Mason coming through.

Why is this happening to me?

You chose to ignore it, locking your phone and turning it over, hoping he would see you’re not in the mood to talk to him. He didn’t get the hint though and you groaned under your breath as his final text come through.

You hated to admit that his assertiveness made you clench your thighs together, but there was no way in hell you were going home with him. Well that’s what you told yourself anyway.

Charlie returned from the loo soon after and after a small back and forth, you agreed to let him pay for lunch. He was putting his pin in when you saw Mason heading for the door, sending you a small smile as he made his way outside. You continued looking at him as he said goodbye to his friend and made his way over to his car. The only thought in your brain being about how good he looked in something as simple as a black T-shirt and cargos, one of your favourite things to see him in and you only snapped out of your trance when Charlie let out a small cough.

‘Sorry, I was in my own little world there’ you apologised with a smile and he just smiled in return. ‘You up too much the rest of the day?’ You enquired, hoping he was so you could make a swift exit and thankfully for you he nodded.

‘Unfortunately yes, I need to get back home and check my stocks, but I’ve really enjoyed this, we’ll have to do it again some time’ he smiled and rather than let him down gently you just nodded, gathering your things so you could get out of there and away from him as quickly as possible. He walked you to the door and put his arm around you awkwardly before leaving a light kiss on your cheek. ‘See you around then y/n’. He smiled and all you could do was smile back before he walked off, thankfully in the opposite direction than you needed.

Now you were rid of him, there was one other person you needed to send on their way before you could go home and think over your life decisions whilst drowing yourself in the tub of ben and Jerrys in your freezer.

You eyes scanned over to Masons car, still parked up, and you walked to him slowly. Telling yourself to be strong and get it over with quickly and once you were at his drivers side window you tapped on it lightly three times before the window came down revealing a slightly confused looking Mason.

‘What you doing? your doors on the other side’ he winked ‘come on, get in’

‘Yeah about that, I don’t think it’s a good idea I’m just gonna head home. I’m sure you’ve got better things to be doing anyway’ you told him. Not meaning for it to come out sounding so bitter and clearly Mason picked up on it, his smile quickly turning into a frown.

‘Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?’

You just shrugged and he studied your face for a second before he opened his door. You stepped back slightly but he grabbed your arm, pulling you back to him, slotting you in-between his legs as he sat side on.

‘Come on, I haven’t seen you in ages. Why don’t you wanna hang out?’ He asked quietly. He was giving you his best puppy dog eyes they were really working on you, he looked genuinely upset you didn’t want to spend time with him. His hands planted themselves on your waist, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles just under your top. His gentle touch was making you fold and he knew it. “Please y/n, just for a little while? I promise I’ll take you home after’ he pouted, and you cursed at yourself in your head for giving into him so quickly but you couldn’t think straight when his hands were on you and he was looking at you like he was.

‘Fine, but I can’t stay long’ you lied. You had all day free, you just weren’t sure you’d be able to handle a whole afternoon of his antics.

He gave you that cheeky smile he always did, but released you so you could jump into his passenger seat. The whole ride to his house was perfect, this was the Mason you liked, no teasing or getting you flustered for his own entertainment. He asked you how you’d been and he seemed genuinely interested when you answered, a stark contrast from the lunch you had just endured and he seemed just as excited to fill you in on everything you’d missed out on in his life recently.

Once you’d arrived at his, he led you through to the kitchen to grab you both a drink, telling you to make yourself comfy on his sofa. You’d been to his house a handful of times but always with other people, today being the first time it was just the two of you and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t nervous. You tried to relax into the corner of the L shaped sofa, telling yourself you’re just catching up with a friend and there was nothing to fret over. Mason soon returned and placed your drink down on his coffee table before flopping down right next to you, his thigh pressed right up against yours and his arm resting across the back of the sofa behind you. You could feel the tips of his fingers stroking over the material of your top making you even more dazed than before.

‘So you gonna tell me who that was you were having lunch with?’ He asked. You could tell by the tone of his voice he was on a mission to poke fun at you now and you sighed quietly. Knowing it was too good to be true that maybe for once you could just be normal with each other.

‘Just a guy’

‘What’s his name?’

‘Why do you care?’

‘Just curious’ he smirked. You knew he was trying to get at you so you thought you’d try and match his energy.

‘His name is Charlie, he’s a crypto billionaire’ you tried to say confidently but as soon as the words flew out your mouth you wished you could of stuffed them back in. Like Mason would care how much money he had? Charlie didn’t even have a fraction of a billion but you were desperate at that point to make him a little jealous. You mentally face palmed yourself when you saw Masons eyebrow twitch up into somewhat of an ammused smirk.

‘Right… and how did you meet Charlie the crypto king?’

You didn’t want to tell him how, but the longer you sat there trying to think of another way you knew he wouldn’t believe you, so you just went with the truth.

‘We matched on hinge’ you said quietly, avoiding his gaze, but you head shot up when you heard his little giggle. ‘What’s so funny?’

‘Oh come off it y/n, what’s a girl like you doing looking for guys on hinge?’

‘What do you mean a girl like me?’ You scowled. You were starting to get really annoyed with him, hoping he’d choose his next words carefully so you didn’t blow up in his face.

‘I just didn’t think a gorgeous girl like yourself would look twice at any of the guys on there’ he said with a shrug. You tried to brush past the compliment but you could feel your cheeks burning up already, knowing it was giving Mason a kick to see the effect his words had on you. ’He was nowhere near good enough for you, I could tell by the way you were sitting you weren’t feeling it. Its like you’re boredom was radiating across the room’

‘Oh yeah cause you know so much about me Mason’

‘Id like to think so, yeah’ he winked, the hand resting on his thigh now making its way onto yours. You had to ball your fists at your sides in order to keep calm. ‘If you wanted a lunch date you could of always called me, I know you’d rather have me sat opposite you’

‘You’re unbelievable’ you growled, finally rising to you feet and and making a beeline for the door.

‘Hey come on y/n don’t be like this, I’m only messing’ He teased as he jumped up after you and reached out for your arm to stop you, but you’d finally had enough. Seeing red, you yanked your arm out of his grasp and turned to face him. Ready to give him a piece of your mind.

‘You know what Mason? Yeah maybe he was a bit boring but at least he had the guts to ask me out’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘All you do is lead me on, you make me feel like you like me and then you go cold on me its fucking exhausting. Do you think I want to be meeting up with randomers off hinge?’ You barked at him. He seemed slightly taken aback by your outburst but his eyes were looking at you hungrily. He’d never seen this side of you before and he was loving it. ‘You’re so full of yourself all the time, thinking you can just invite me back here and i’ll come running? I’m so sick of your shit-‘

Before you could think about what was happening, Mason had pulled you into him and his lips were on yours. Slowly walking you back until you were pressed up against the nearest wall, one hand on your waist, the other lightly wrapped around your throat.

He kissed better than you ever imagined he could and you cursed yourself for moaning into his mouth. The feel of his smile on your lips frustrated you even more than you thought possible and his mouth soon detached from yours as he flipped you round. Your chest now pressed to the wall, his front leaning into your back and you could just start to feel him hardening against your bum.

‘This what you wanted from me yeah?’ He whispered into your ear. You turned your face to try and look at him over your shoulder, but his lips on the other side of your neck made you close your eyes. He could feel the way your breathing was getting shallower as his fingertips raked up your side and he was eager to see just how far he could push you. ‘You still sick of my shit or you want me to keep going?’

‘Keep going’ you whimpered quietly, the words coming out your mouth before your brain could figure out what you wanted to say, and you felt him smile against your neck.

‘Good girl’

‘Im not your good girl, mase’ you countered but you knew you were just lying yourself. You always had been and you always would be.

He turned you back round and tucked your loose hairs behind your ears before leaning down and kissing you again lightly. ‘We’ll see’ he breathed into your mouth. ‘Go sit back down for me yeah?’ He asked but you waited a moment, both looking at each other to see who would break first but you could tell he wasn’t budging so you silently made you way back over to his sofa. Your fingertips touching your lips as you still couldn’t believe after all this time you’d finally kissed him.

He stood studying you for a few seconds before following you over, however instead of taking up his seat from before, he knelt down infront of you. Parting your knees and slotting himself in between them. His hands came to rest on either sides of your hips and his face now dangerously close to yours.

‘I know we’ve got some things we need to talk about, but can you please let me make you feel good first?’ He whispered, kissing you again softly. ‘I think it’s just best we get this out our system cause there’s no way I’ll be able to concentrate on anything serious if all I can think about is what’s under these clothes’

You were having an internal battle, obviously you wanted him but would it just make everything afterwards more difficult? Was he just saying this to get one over on you? He could see you were struggling with what to do so he kissed your neck trying to show you how much he needed you.

‘Please baby, just a taste’ he whispered just below your ear and you felt your whole body erupt in goosebumps. Fuck he was good. It was like he knew exactly what to say and do to you. You knew you were wrapped around his finger but up until now you hadn’t realised how much. ‘You can trust me I promise’

Could you trust him?

The only thing on your mind was the thought of him getting you down to your underwear and then him telling you it’s all a joke. That this was just a new low for him to try and get one over on you but you knew Reece would kick him into next week if he ever tried something like that and the look in Masons eyes also settled you a bit.

You wanted to say no but you you were too caught up in him finally giving you what you wanted. Thinking to yourself, even if this is all you ever got from him then you’d find a way to live with it. You just couldn’t refuse him when he was in between your thighs, promising to make it worth you while. So you nodded and kissed him back, a little deeper this time, parting your lips so he could slip in tongue in when he silently asked for permission.

God he was so good at this, you thought as his hands came to rest at the waistband of you jeans. Why the hell haven’t we done this sooner? if I had to pick between breathing or kissing Mason, I think id choose the latter.

His fingers slowly made their way to the button on your jeans, and he pulled back, looking at your face to make sure you were still comfortable. You nodded at him so he carried on, unzipping you before tapping your thigh so you would lift your hips in order for him to rid you of them. Next to come off was your top, leaving you with only your bra on underneath, thanking the lord you’d decided to put a nice one on this morning. Feeling your slight discomfort at being the only one without clothes on, he peeled his own top from his body, tossing it over the back of his sofa.

You’d seen pictures of his body before and knew what it looked like under certain things but seeing it like this in person made your mouth water. He was flawless.

His kisses resumed and then he made his way down your neck, across your collar bones and down your chest. As he mouth was nearing where you needed him, you sank back into the cushions. You felt his lips dance across the band of your underwear before he hooked his thumbs under and pulled them down you legs.

‘So fucking perfect’ he murmured between kisses over your hips and thighs, the sound of his voice made your tummy flip with anticipation.

You were torn between looking at him or laying back and just enjoying it, so you grabbed and cushion and stuffed it behind you, giving you the perfect view of what he was about to do to you. You were growing impatient with his gentle kisses on you inner thighs, wishing he would just burry his face in you already so you threaded your fingers through his hair and attempted to guide him to where you needed him. You felt him smirk against you, placing one final kiss against you before giving you what you wanted.

He teased your folds apart slowly with his tongue, and when he made contact with your clit, circling over it slowly a few times, you let out a pent up breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding.

You couldn’t help his name falling off your lips and he moaned into you at the sound. A sound he’d been waiting forever to hear. You felt your breathing deepen as he got into his rhythm, bringing his fingers up to spread you apart even further. Your moans for him only growing louder and it was all the encouragement he needed to keep going, eventually slipping those same fingers inside of you to heighten your pleasure.

‘You taste so fucking good’ he growled and pumped his fingers into you a little faster, hitting the spot that made you cry out. ‘That feel good baby?’

‘Yes Mase, so fucking good, please keep going im so close’

If you weren’t so horrifically turned on then you might have been embarrassed about how quickly he’d managed to get you to this point but you didn’t care. You felt too good to think about anything else.

‘Come on baby, be good for me and cum’ he moaned against you and you thought in that moment you you would have done anything he asked you to. Why did he have to be so good at everything?

It only took a few more seconds and you were cumming over his fingers, his mouth still working on you to ride you through it, and when he felt like you’re breathing had calmed down, he kissed his way back up your body to you lips. You let out a small hum as you tasted yourself on his lips, a slight giggle coming from you and you tried to hide in his neck out of embarrassment. He couldn’t help but laugh himself as he sat down next to you, pulling you into his lap, both slightly overwhelmed with what had just taken place. He reached behind him for the blanket he kept there, wrapping it around the both of you.

After a few moments of silence you felt his lips lightly press on your forehead before he muttered the words ‘i’m sorry’

Ah shit.

This was part you were dreading. The first thought coming to mind was him telling you he’s sorry for making you think the two of you could be anymore than you already were. You told yourself you were fine with it, but the feeling of your heart sinking told you you weren’t.

He must of felt your disappointment, his arm tightening around you slightly whilst his other hand cupped your jaw, tilting your face up to look at him. His eyes looked soft and from the slight smile that played on his lips you thought it best to see what he had to say rather than get up and run.

‘All the cocky bullshit with you, it’s always just been a front. Truth is, the way you make me feel scares the shit out of me’ he told you gently. Your eyes pleaded with him to carry on, but the tsunami in his tummy was holding him back. He rested his head on top of yours and closed his eyes, figuring it might be easier to tell you how he felt if he wasn’t looking straight at you.

‘I’ve liked you from the first moment I saw you. Before that even’ he chuckled. ‘Recce talked about you all the time and I’ve always wanted to meet you but you make me more nervous than anyone else I’ve ever known. I think about you every second of everyday and I kick myself that I’ve never been able to just grow a pair and tell you’

You could feel his heart racing in his chest, the tempo matching your own at his words. You slowly stroked your thumb over his hand in an attempt to calm him so he could carry on, your gentle touches only making him fall for you even more.

‘I guess I just thought if we carried on the way we were then I’d still sort of have you. Like the fear of you rejecting me was worse than only having you a little bit’ he chuckled and you nuzzled into his neck a little at his confession. ‘I didn’t mean to make you feel as bad as I did though, half the time I wasn’t even trying to tease you I just wanted to be near you. I know I should of just asked you how you felt but if you haven’t noticed I’m not all that smart sometimes’

You shifted on his lap so he’s had to look at you, you noticed the pink tinge to his cheeks from all of his confessions and all you wanted to do was kiss him. His smile mirrored your own and you were now ready to share your feelings in the same way he just had.

‘Why don’t you ask me now?’

‘Huh?’

‘Ask me how I feel about you’

He took in a deep breath and shook his head lightly with a smile, almost like he couldn’t believe what he was about to do. ‘How you do you feel about me, y/n?’

Come on girl, you got this.

‘I think about you every second of everyday, too’ you whispered, causing him to giggle and burry his head in your hair. ‘It’s true, I’ve always liked you Mase. Maybe I could have been a bit braver and told you first but I couldn’t get the words out. I didn’t know for sure you liked me the way I like you and I guess I was kinda the same? I was alright with having you a little bit but that fear of rejection was holding me back’ you told him and you felt him nod into your hair and hold you that tiny bit closer. ‘I didn’t wanna go on dates with other guys but I couldn’t take not having you anymore and figured it would be a good distraction so I could move on from you but no one ever made me feel like you do’

He moved again so he could look at you, his thumb stroking over your jaw softly and a slight look of guilt dressed his face. ‘I’m sorry I made it get to that point I never meant to make you feel that way. I hated seeing you out with someone else today like it proper hurt but I suppose it gave me the kick up the backside i needed.’ you chucked and turned your face in his hand to kiss his palm. It felt amazing to finally be this close to him but the little voice in the back of your head was stopping you from fully enjoying it. Mason must have sensed your change and tilted your face back up towards his. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothings wrong, just what happens now? Where do we go from here?’

‘Well if you’d let me, I’d love to take you for dinner tonight. Like a proper date?’

‘Two dates with two different men in one day, what will people think of me’ you teased and he just laughed at your silliness.

‘Yeah well I’m saying this mornings one didn’t count. I have a funny feeling you won’t be seeing Charlie the crypto king any time soon’

You felt your face flush in embarrassment but his lips on your cheek made you smile. You snuggled into him more and he moved to lay down taking you with him and after a few moments of silence you felt his breathing getting heavier so you kissed his chest and settled down next to him.

‘Wake me up in ten minutes’ you heard him say softly and you tried to hold your giggle in at his antics.

‘Sure thing Mase’ you whispered and lent back as the face you adored slowly drifted off.

[canirove]

Broken Hearts Football Club | Chapter 7

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"That was…" Ben whispered against June's lips, both of them trying to catch their breaths.

"A mistake."

"A big mistake, yes. We shouldn't do it again."

"We shouldn't, no" she said. "Imagine that someone sees us and tells the press."

"June Maxwell fell for Ben Chilwell's charm, they’ll write" he smiled.

"Charm? What charm?"

"The one that makes you keep your body this close to mine, your eyes fixed on me, your lips asking for more."

"You have me pinned against a wall, Chilwell. I can't do anything or go anywhere."

"You can, Maxwell. You just don't want to."

"Shut up."

"Make me" he smirked.

"You asked for it" June said before kissing him again, Ben pushing her against the wall once again, the little space that had been between them gone. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"There you are! I was starting to worry and… June, are you ok?"

"I am, yeah. Why?"

"You look… flushed" Leah said. "What happened in the bathroom?"

"Nothing" she shrugged.

"And why don't I believe you?"

"I don't know."

"June? Leah? No way!" someone said behind them.

"Mason?" both of them said as they turned around.

"I can't believe you girls are here! Earlier when I saw the photo you posted on Instagram I told Chilly that we may cross paths, and look" he chuckled.

"Chilly is here?" Leah asked.

"Yeah, somewhere. He went to the bathroom and I haven't been able to find him yet."

"The bathroom, uh?" Leah said, looking at June.

"We were joking about finding our New Year's kiss, so maybe he did."

"Maybe he did" Leah repeated, still looking at her friend.

"What about you, girls? Are you looking for a New Year's kiss?" Mason asked, his eyes fixed on June. 

"I don't believe in those things. You?"

"Me neither" June said, feeling her cheeks burn. Leah knew. She definitely knew about what had happened in the bathroom. She knew her too well.

"What a shame…" Mason sighed. "Oh, Chilly, here!" he called.

"Fuck" June said under her breath. 

"Where were you, man?"

"The queue for the bathroom was too… long" Ben said when he realized who Mason was with. Fuck.

"Hello, Chilwell" Leah smiled. "Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year, Williamson. Maxwell."

"Hi" she muttered, her eyes fixed on her hands.

"Since we have found each other, why don't we have a drink the four of us together?" Mason asked.

"I think I'm going home" June said.

"What? Why?"

"I have a game in two days, I need to rest."

"As if resting would make you play better" Ben chuckled.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Going to bed early won't improve your performance, Maxwell."

"Well, unlike others, I still am playing."

"June…" Leah warned her.

"What? He is allowed to insult me and bully me but I can't do the same to him?"

"I don't bully you. I just…"

"Don't you dare saying that you are just stating facts!" she replied, raising her voice.

"If I wasn't right it wouldn't bother you so much" Ben shrugged.

"Fuck you, Chilwell!" she said, pushing him and walking away.

"Yes, run away like the coward that you are!"

"I'm not a coward!"

"Sure" Ben laughed.

"I am not" she said, walking back and punching him in the face.

"June!" Leah said, grabbing her friend and pulling her away from him.

"Are you ok, bro?" Mason asked Ben.

"I'm fine" he replied, touching his lip. He was bleeding.

"I think it's time we leave" Leah said.

"Yes, take her back to her cage. But make sure you close it properly, she bites" Ben smirked. Though maybe he shouldn't have done it, it hurt as hell.

"I'm gonna bite your head off, that's what I'm going to do, you moron!" June yelled, ready to hit him again. 

"Ok, that's enough" Leah said, struggling to stop her. 

"Happy New Year, Maxwell" Ben laughed as he watched them walk away.

"Happy… fuck you!" June yelled again, Leah barely managing to drag her to the exit.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Let go of me, Leah. Let go!" June said once they were outside.

"Do you promise me you won't go back inside and do something stupid? Again?"

"I promise. Now let me go."

"Ok, fine" she replied. "What the fuck was that?"

"What was what?" June said.

"All that with Chilwell."

"Don't say that name ever again."

"June, you punched him."

"I did. And I should have done it earlier, to be honest. It felt so good…" Though her hand was starting to hurt.

"How did that happen? How did you go from making out to arguing like that?"

"We didn't make out" she snorted.

"June…"

"We didn't. I would never make out with Ben Chilwell. Never, Leah. Did you hear me? Never."

"Ok, fine. I imagined it all."

"Yes, you did. Can we now please go home? My shoes are killing me."

"Yes, we can" Leah sighed. “But we have an unfinished conversation.”

[retrosofa]

I finished the second season of Dead Like Me as well as the follow-up film. The second season was fine, not as good as the first but still alright. I feel like behind the scenes drama and lack of direction were to blame. Aside from George, the character development for the Reapers felt misguided.

Mason and Daisy were the worst offenders. The series premiere has Mason celebrating his sobriety, which doesn't actually change things? He spends the entire episode being the same selfish idiot he always is. At the end of it he goes back to drinking. He then remains a fuck-up the entire season, the only difference being that everyone is pretty sick of it. Things kind of turn around at the tail-end but overall, his character arc was not very thought out.

I don't know what the hell they were thinking with Daisy. She spends half of the season pursuing Catholicism after she's smitten by a dead women's crucifix. Daisy, who has been dead for over 60 years, apparently never stumbled upon a cross before. Sure. After her little religious stunt, she gets upset when one of her marks is murdered by an abusive lover. Daisy can't deal with the situation, leaves the soul behind for Roxy to take care, briefly mentions she used to have a sister (I suppose implying her sister was killed by an abusive man?), and then starts dating an abusive TV producer in the next episode?? What??! EXCUSE ME?

And then there's Roxy and Rube, both of whom barely get any screen time this season. Roxy becomes a cop, which ends up just becoming a convenient plot device a couple of times. She doesn't have any story arcs or anything of her own, which is a damn shame. Roxy gets more screen time this season but she still gets shafted for Mason and Daisy. I can't tell if it's because of racism or Jasmine Guy having scheduling conflicts. Whatever the reason, she deserved much more.

Rube is reduced to a secondary role. He has his own arc this season, which is extremely heartwarming. While I like the story line they wrote up for Rube, it does feel a bit out of left-field. It also felt like him and George barely had any meaningful scenes together.

A few interesting things happen this season which bring up more questions than answers. We see two different instances of a reaper killing someone. Roxy shoots one of Mason's reaps, which surprises even herself. Since the victim was scheduled to die, it was fine. However, later on Mason kills Daisy's boyfriend, Ray in "self-defense." His death wasn't scheduled and his soul turns into a graveling, which haunts Daisy. The Ray-graveling subplot raises a lot of questions that don't get any solid answers. You would think Ray turned into a graveling because his death wasn't scheduled but he causes an unscheduled death at one point and Daisy is able to pop the man's soul out without any issues. So maybe he turned into a graveling because he was a bad person? I don't know. Ray is ultimately "destroyed" when George reaps him. This is never explored upon or explained as it happens right before the last episode.

As always, George was a lot of fun to watch. She's not as sloppy as the last season. She's gotten more comfortable with her undead life but is still a bit rebellious. This time around she's smarter about her decisions. In the first season she was constantly searching for loopholes and ways of escaping her fate. This season, she's owning it. We also get to see her dabble in romance and have a few nice scenes with Delores.

The last episode takes place on Halloween and doesn't offer a real conclusion but works fine. Most of the loose ends are tied up. I feel like even if this show didn't get canceled, it wouldn't have had a definitive conclusion. Although I wish it would've gotten another season or two, I think the ending is fine. I didn't feel cheated or anything. Overall, the TV series was pretty solid.

As for the movie...

Not sure if I mentioned this before or not but when DLM got canceled back in the early 2000's, I pretty much lost all interest in it. Nobody else I knew watched it and I was getting more into anime around that time. Years later MGM released a follow-up movie, which I remember hearing about but never bothered to watch until now.

It's bad. Like really bad.

There are hundreds of reviews online that will back me up on this. There are many reasons why the movie is bad but the biggest one for me is that it doesn't feel like Dead Like Me. I suppose since it's a "movie", they wanted to do something a little different but it's just a whole other beast. It also dismisses a lot of key "rules" established in the TV series, which I suppose was an intentional choice? It's just weird.

I also don't understand why they even bothered... the show had been canceled for years, two of the key actors couldn't come back, and the film doesn't answer any of the burning questions from the TV show. It's almost completely a waste of time.

On the bright side, we see that Joy has gotten a better handle on things and has seemingly moved on. Reggie gets some proper closure. The movie ends with the implication that George will take over Rube's role, which is fitting I suppose.

Overall, I'd recommend the show but would advise avoiding the film unless you're absolutely curious.

[bornforastorm]

nine lines, nine people

tagged by the lovely @boasamishipper! you're such an Influence™

tagging @majorbaby ESPECIALLY but then whoever else might care to do it!

Here's a little bit from one of the many ongoing Perry Mason fics I'm working on always and forever until I drop dead:

E.S. chews on it. His cigarette burns down to his fingers and he drops it into the gravel under the porch. Without it, he looks like a little kid again. “My parents weren’t ever in love with each other,” he says, sounding only a little sad about it. “They barely even like each other. That’s why Ma’s in Reno, right?” “That’s part of it anyway.” Perry doesn’t want to get into Pete’s many years of sleeping around and staying out too late and the hundreds of nasty, sour fights he and Ruth had. No kid needs to know about that. ”E.S., look… your parents like each other fine, but your dad and I… I really love him. I do. I’m not… I don’t want to hurt him. Or you, or your mother. Neither of us do.”  “Yeah. Good. Okay.” E.S. nods and straightens up, putting on a little toughness. He’s a big man again. Head of the household, even though Pete hasn’t gone anywhere. He scrunches up his mouth in a way that is so Pete it makes Perry’s stomach clench. He wonders if he’ll ever look at Teddy and see himself. E.S. looks the least like Pete of all the boys, with his round face and blond hair and tall, lean body— but hell if he isn’t his father’s son. “You oughta just move in then. You’re over here enough.”  “Jesus, kid.”  “It’d be easier. We wouldn’t mind,” he says, speaking for his brothers too. Perry wonders what, if anything, the younger boys know or have a sense of. Maybe E.S. has talked to them about it. Maybe the three of them have huddled together late at night and discussed what Perry Mason is doing at their house all the time.  “Your neighbors might.” E.S. produces a scoff that’s almost a laugh. “Dad always told us not to give a shit what the neighbors thought.”  Isn’t that just like Pete? 

ES Strickland, a boy that I made up, I love you

[superghfan]

I've always been vocal about my feelings for Austin Gatlin-Holt. But now that his run has seemly come to an end, I have to say I have mixed feelings about it. First, I was (and am) a huge Franco/Elizabeth fan, so having the character of Franco killed off so suddenly after years of watching his growth and his love for his family was a shock, so say the least. When he came out of the woods as Austin Gatlin-Holt, I was less than enthusiastic, and unfortunately, the show failed to make this character work. His fizzled romance with Maxie had no sizzle and his somewhat romance with Ava had potential that was never fully realized.

Then there was his backstory. First, there was his cousin Mason who showed up now and then with veiled threats. There was the ambiguity about his past and his connection to Cyrus. It all took to long to unfold and his personality and history were never fully fleshed out. There just was nothing to this character for Roger Howarth or GH fans to latch on to. He had no real friends and while he had a Quartermaine connection, it was barely capitalized on, and there was never anything about his father, Jimmie Lee. Even Tracy never went after him. Oh, he was going to sue for his fair share of the Q fortune, and frankly I wish he had, at least that would have been interesting, but in the end, he backed out.

Roger Howarth is a supremely talented actor and deserves a better character. Now, I don't know for certain that Austin is dead and there are rumors that GH might bring him back as a third character.

Here is my wish, I wish that they would bring him back as Franco. Okay, Franco died, but hey, this is GH. If they can bring Stavros Cassadine back from the dead nearly 20 years later (looking younger than he did back in the 80's), then they can bring Franco back. Maybe someone faked his death, or maybe he did, to protect Elizabeth. Maybe he was shot by Peter, but saved by someone else (like Victor, who had plans for him, but then Victor died) and is being held somewhere.

The point is, I am still attached to Franco and Liz. I find her relationship with Finn to be dull as dirt, no matter how many shirtless shower scenes they give us, and I would love to see Franco be returned to his family.

If Roger returns as a third character, please, GH, give his a backstory that doesn't take years to unfold. Give us some juicy romance with someone he has chemistry with. He is too good an actor to waste his talents on someone so mediocre. Hell, I would even be happy to see him return as Todd Manning!

[carlottawllms]

AND FOR THE SECOND LAST TIME, HERE WE GO

Sleep didn’t come easy to Mason that night and when he woke up in the morning, feeling like a truck had run him over, he questioned whether he’d gotten any sleep at all. Half the night he’d been lying awake, staring into the darkness and trying to map out a plan how to win you over – or back first of all for that matter. YOU CAN DO IT MASON, SHE’LL BE YOURS😌

A fact he should’ve considered before he’d cuddled up in bed to you. Sighing, he rubbed his hands over his face. “Fucking hell.” SILLY BOY

OK IT IS HAPPENING IT’S REUNION TIME

THE MESSAGE, IF SHE SAYS NO I’LL BE SAD🙃

The way he’d looked so sad and upset; his quiet sighs and “oh okays” whenever you had another excuse ready for why you couldn’t stay for dinner or some time on the playground…You’d felt like the worst person in the world. SEE HE IS SAD BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU SILLY GIRLLLL

Were you yearning for him after more than a week of distance? Also, yes. Very much so. ONLY GOOD ANSWER TO HIS TEXT IS YESSSSS😌

“Why am I like this?”, you sighed. “Why can’t I just tell him no for once?”

The answer to that was easily found: You loved him. SHE LOVES HIM AND I AM GIGGLING

The truth wasn’t an option, that much was obvious. Maybe you could tell him it had been that time of the month and you’d not been too keen on physical contact? Or that you hadn’t felt yourself and needed some time? Maybe you’d been overwhelmed? HONESTLY GIRL, THE TRUTH IS THE ONLY GOOD OPTION🤷🏻‍♀️

“Hi.”, Mason smiled nervously when he opened the door. “C’mon in.” HE IS NERVOUS

You noticed how he didn’t even attempt to hug you, but instead moved away so you could get past him and take your trainers off and whilst it was just like what you’d done to him lately, it still stung like a bitch. HE DIDN’T HUG HER CAUSE HE WAS SCARED OF REJECTION😭

In safe distance, you watched him preparing the tea from the other side of the kitchen island. This house had basically become your home those last few months. More often than not had you prepared dinner in this exact kitchen, but right now you felt ridiculously out of place. THIS HOUSE IS YOUR HOME🤭🤭

And you couldn’t help but wonder why he’d asked you to come over. Maybe after your little stunt he’d made the decision to cut you off and let his mum take over? OH SHUT UP SILLY

Mason let out a quiet sigh. “It’s erm…a little complicated.”, he squirmed, a blush coating his cheeks. “Yesterday, when you weren’t at the game um…my mum told me you were on a date?” SOMEONE IS JEALOUSSSS

“I just…will you see him again?” SOMEONE IS REALLY REALLY REALLY JEALOUSSS🤭

“Probably not, no.”, you said, voice slightly agitated. “What’s with all the questions Mase? I’m your best friend, you said it yourself and you said I should go out there again. Why are you so bothered by it now?” Y/N OMG, GIRLLLL YOU’RE NOT JUST HIS BEST FRIENDDD

“Sorry.”, you breathed. “I would never forget about Ellie, if that’s what you’re scared of? Like no matter with who I am, I’d never ever leave her behind, Mase.” GIRL, YOU’RE DESTINED TO BE HER MUMMY, WE KNOW WE WON’T FORGET ABOUT HER

SHE STARTED THE FIRST ATTEMPT TO PHYSICAL CONTACTTTT🤭🤭🤭🤭😩

“No that’s not…that’s not what I’m scared of.”, he admitted barely audibly. “It’s erm…what if…what if you forget about me?” OMG MASON TONY MOUNT GO ON

“I love you, you know?”, he suddenly said. HE FUCKING SAID IT🥹🥹🥹

A gasp left your lips as you pulled your hand away from his in shock. To say his admission took you by surprise would be an understatement. It was everything but what you’d expected him to say. In fact, it wasn’t anything you’d ever thought he’d say to you out of all people. IF YOU WEREN’ THAT BLIND YOU WOULDN’T BE THAT SURPRISED

“I- I know it’s crazy and it was never supposed to happen and it…it shouldn’t be this way cause you’re my best friend and the best person I’ve ever met, but today when you weren’t at the game I was just lost and…I’m just hopelessly in love with you, y/n.” OMG I MIGHT CRY NOW😭

It was all you’d wished to hear from him, but now that he was standing right in front of you, wearing his heart on his sleeve, you couldn’t believe a word he said. HERE WE GO

Mason’s heart dropped into his tummy at the way you stumbled over your words, unsure of what you should say. He’d been so confident you were feeling the same – terrified obviously, but still confident. Especially after what his mum had told him the evening before, but the longer you just stared at the ground, the more hope he felt slipping away. OMG NOW HE IS HEARTBROKEN AND I AM MORE THAN HIM

“I know this is a lot and I get you probably don’t feel the same and-”, he interrupted himself and shook his head; hands dropping yours in the process. “I’ve ruined it, haven’t I?”, he whispered. “I’m sorry, I just…I don’t know I thought that maybe you…never mind.” MISS Y/N, IF YOU DON’T HUG AND REASSURE HIM LIKE NOW, IMMEDIATELY I’LL BE MAD😒

Mason took a few steps back and ran his hand through his hair as realisation kicked in. He’d just ruined the best thing he’d ever had and his heart hurt like never before. CARLOTTA? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME IN THE LAST CHAPTER?😭

“Can you forget I said anything? I don’t want anything to change, I just…Ellie loves you so much and I know you’re not her mum, but you’re so important to her and…God I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have…I just ruined everything and-” OH MASEY, SHE WOULDN’T LEAVE ELLIE, AND I AM SURE YOU HAVEN’T RUINED IT, YOU DID WHAT YOU HAD TO DO🤭😌

“Mase, hey. Look at me, love.”, you begged quietly, but he refused. SHE SAID LOVE, I CAN HEAR SOMEONE SINGING “WAR IS OVER” IN THE DISTANCE👩🏻‍🎤

His gaze remained set on the floor and when you inched closer and tipped his head back slightly, you knew why. Your heart hurt at the sight of his teary eyes and it wasn’t long before you had to reach out and gently brush some stray tears away. HE IS CRYING, OMG I’LL CRY WITH HIM

“Please don’t leave her because her daddy is an idiot.” MASON TONY MOUNT, STOP IT

“I just…Mase you called me pathetic when you suspected I was jealous and basically said I had no right to be upset cause I’m not more than your best friend…It’s…you can’t just ask me to come over and tell me you love me, expecting I’ll believe it after everything.” OH GIRLY, HE ISJUST A MAN AFTER ALL

“I know. I know and I’m so sorry and I’ll spend my lifetime making it up to you.”, he vowed. “I promise, I’ll make sure every day you know your worth and how much you actually mean to me, if you let me.” SHE WILL LET YOU, I AM SURE

Mason wasn’t a good liar by any means. He usually wore his heart on his sleeve and his big brown eyes were the gateway to his pure soul; always showing his true colours and today was no different. THIS THING IS SO PURE? SOFT? HEALING? COMFORTING? REASSURING?🥹🥹🥹

He was your best friend, and he’d give you the world if you asked for it, you knew that much, but you remained quiet, trying to get your head around everything as it was a lot. When you’d come here today you hadn’t expected him to confess his feelings. WELL, SURPRISEEEEE🥳

“I don’t expect you to say it back or even feel remotely the same y/n. I promise I’ll try to get over it and stay your best friend, but I needed to tell you. I felt like I was going mad and I just…I’m sorry if this is overwhelming and too much, I really am, but please don’t leave my little girl because I’m an idiot.” OH BABY BOY, HE KEEPS MENTIONING ELLIE, HE IS FREAKING OUT😭

It was obvious just how terrified he was for his little daughter and her wellbeing and it warmed your heart how he did what he’d always sworn he would: He put her first. HE IS A GOOD MAN SAVANNAH

“Say it again.”, you breathed. Mason looked confused for a second, but then his eyes lit up. “I love you, y/n.” OMG SHE WANT HIM TO SAY IT AGAIN SO SHE CAN ENJOY THE MOMENT THIS TIME🤭

You wanted to tell him too, but after months of waiting and teasing, you couldn’t wait to feel his love, so instead you leaned in and brushed your lips against his in the softest of kisses you’d ever shared with anyone before. SHE KISSED HIMMMMMM AHHHHH CAN YOU ALL HEAR ME SCREAMINGGGG OMG IT HAPPENEDDD🎉🎉🎉🎉

You both chuckled quietly as neither of you could believe that after months of pining you were finally where you belonged. THEY ARE SO HAPPY, I MIGHT COMBUST

“I love you, too, Masey.”, you admitted and the smile taking over Mason’s features was wider than you’d ever seen. SHE SAID IT BACK, MUM AND DAD ARE OFFICIALLY MUM AND DAD🥹🥹

HE WANTS HIS WOMAN AND HOW CAN WE ALL BLAME HI

“What happened to only being you best friend, Mase?”, you chuckled. Mason laughed quietly. “Well, you haven’t been just my best friend for a while now. And as shit as it sounds I didn’t properly realise it until yesterday when you went on that bloody date, and I’m very sorry for it. I never meant to make you feel as if I was leading you on.” CUTE JEALOUS BABY BOY

“You still are my best friend and will be forever, but I really want you to be my girl, too. If you have me, that is.” “Course I do.” THERE’S A NEW HAPPY COUPLE IN TOWNNN

“Say it again.”, he asked shyly, the blush on his cheeks deepening and you were more than happy to repeat the words for him. “I love you, Mason.” AHHH I AM KICKING MY FEET

“Let me spend some time with my girl then.”, he grinned brightly, before leaning in to kiss you once more. “God, I love you so much.” HE IS LIKE A TEENAGER EXPERIENCING HIS FIRST LOVE🥹🥹🤭🤭

CARLOTTAAAAA

WHAT WAS THIS? 

A WORK OF ART?

A MASTERPIECE?

A WOW THING?

I LOVED THIS FROM THE FIRST SENTENCE

LOVED THIS Y/N SHE WAS SO LOVELY, CARING, SWEET, PROTECTIVE, SO MUMMY CODED, EVEN IF SHE IS ALSO SILLY AND BLIND BUT I THINK.THIS COMES WITH THE WHOLE PACKAGE

I LOVED MASON TOO, POOR BOY DID SOME SILLY THINGS, BUT HE WAS OVERWHELMED AND HAD BEEN BETRAYED SO I CAN FORGIVE HIM COMPLETELY 

MAE WAS LOVELY…WHEN SHE LEFT FOREVER😂

HIS PARENTS, JAZ AND LUKE, THE VILLAGE HIM AND ELLIE DESERVE.

AND ELLIE? OUR LITTLE GIRL? LOVED HER SINCE THE FIRST MEETING, WHEN SHE INTRODUCED NOODLE TO Y/N AND US,LOVED HER WHEN SHE WAS SWEET AND WHEN SHE WAS STOPPY, LOVED HER WHEN SHE CALLED Y/N MUMMY CAUSE THIS IS WHAT Y/N IS TO HER, A MUMMY, A HOME A SAFE PLACE, LOVED HER LOVE FOR PASTA HONESTLY, SHE IS AN ITALIAN GIRL IN HER HEART🤭 

THE WAY YOU WROTE THIS WAS JUST SO PERFECT, WE HAD LOVE,WE HAD SADNESS, WE HAD HURT, WE HAD ANGER, WE HAD EVERYTHING WE NEEDED

SO WOW, THANK YOU FOR DONATING THEM TO US AND MAKING THEM PART OF MY HEART

THANK YOU FOR WRITING MASON AND ELLIE'S RELATIONSHIP HOW YOU WROTE IT, I SWEAR IT HEALED SOMETHING IN ME🩷

AND OMG I DON'T USUALLY CRY BUT NOW I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES WHILE SAYING GOODBYE TO THEM (FOR A BIT AT LEAST) 

THANK YOU CARLOTTA, REALLY, THANK YOU

AND REMEMBER, BE PROUD OF YOURSELF, CAUSE I AM SO FUCKING PROYD OF YOU🩷🩷

PS. CAN'T WAIT FOR THE EPILOGUE WHENEVER IT'LL BE🩷 AND MAYBE TO READ SOME NEW ADVENTURES OF THEM AS A REAL REAL REAL AND OFFICIAL FAMILY 🩷

LOVE YOU, YOUR BRAIN AND YOUR WRITING, SINCE DAY ONE AND FOREVER🩷

Elisa I can’t believe I won’t see anymore reactions to my chapters 😭😭 I will miss them 😩

Also thank you very much for sending these every single time without fail. They are so great at improving confidence and I loved reading them. They always put a smile on my face 🫶🏼

This one made me tear up a little too 🥺

Thank you!! 🩷🩷

[musicallyiinclined]

Mason opens his mouth for a retort but quickly changes his mind, still too tired to get into it with Syver right now. That in itself is unusual, as he's not typically one to back down from the promise of a challenge, but he blames it on too much tossing and turning last night and decides not to give it much thought after that. "Yeah, well. Push for the playoffs and all that." There's also the added benefit of knowing it would annoy Callum. His stomach gives a jolt at the sudden mention of the man's name, almost as though Syver has read his mind. "And? I owed him a beer for that helper, that's all. Wanted to pay up."

He follows the other man's line of sight across the ice, barely allowing his gaze to linger before he quickly looks away. Mason is ignoring Callum right now, or possibly being ignored by Callum... Either way, he's not interested in getting caught watching him. Besides, Syver is speaking again, and it takes all of Mason's concentration to try to keep up with what he's saying, because-- "Wait, what?" Nothing that his teammate is saying makes sense. The way he looks at you. How does Callum look at him, exactly? "His... Feelings? Carlow, what the hell are you even talking about?" If he'd thought his mind was racing last night, that's nothing compared to what it's doing now. He's tempted to ask if there's steam coming out of his ears. "What does my joke have to do with anything?"

"Yeah, yeah. Down, boy. Whatever you need to tell yourself." Syver watches as their teammates circle the rink, beginning to gather near center ice as their coaches come into view, worn gloves and marked dry erase board in hand for the brief practice session. When his attention circles back to Mason, he shrugs, and innocence is easy enough to feign when curiosity is the primary emotion in his expression. "Not really your scene. Plus, you left with Holloway yesterday." Callum's name is said evenly, each syllable punctuated as he looks out to the man in question.

Across the ice, Callum is still skating in half circles, pivoting hard as he travels with a puck.

"And he was pissed this morning. I mean, more than usual. And even more pissed than when you made that shitty joke yesterday. Not that I blame him. I mean, it was pretty low considering the way he looks at you. And rudimentary." Well, even if you only finish one year of your college degree, you might as well put it to use, right? "I mean, it would be one thing if it was funny, but it wasn't. And then he followed you like a little puppy anyway, and now he's mad, so. Trouble in paradise? Something happened." At least Callum's anger and Mason's presence feel like something. "I'm just saying, I wouldn't have expected you to show just to rub it in his face. Feels like you put enough of his feelings on blast. Even if he's... him. Feels cheap, but you do you, I guess."