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kellyvela · 9 months ago

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Sophie's Hon 💋

If you want to know more about the guy Sophie Turner is smooching lately, you know, that very tall, very very rich, British aristocrat with a fantasy novel name, this post is for you . . . . lol

His full name is The Hon Peregrine John Dickinson Pearson, but he goes by “Perry.” And the photo above is his company profile picture.

Born on October 27th, 1994, he's 29 years old and the future 5th Viscount Cowdray.

Perry is from Midhurst, West Sussex, and now lives in a £5million house in Chelsea, West London.

The Hon before his name means The Honourable, a title used for all sons and daughters of viscounts and barons. Hon also works for 'honey' and 'sweetheart', hence this post's title.

Peregrine may come from Henry Winston Peregrine Spencer-Churchill, nephew of former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Sir Winston (Leonard Spencer) Churchill.

Yes, Churchill, you read it right! Perry's grandfather Weetman John Churchill Pearson, 3rd Viscount Cowdray, was the son of Agnes Beryl Spencer-Churchill, who was the granddaughter of George Spencer-Churchill, 6th Duke of Marlborough.

So Perry is distant related to Winston Churchill and Diana Spencer, The Lady D . . . . In fact, he has already introduced Sophie to some of the current Spencer-Churchills (they are cousins with Perry, I guess 🤷‍♀️).

Now, I have no idea why his parents opted to name him Peregrine over Weetman, since each of the four former Viscounts Cowdray were all named Weetman; but his peculiar fantasy novel/bird-like name inmmediately made me think of House Arryn and Harry Hardyng. More on this later.

But since he's not named Weetman, he fixed that by naming his own property investment and development company 'Weetman'.

John is for both grandfathers: Weetman John Churchill Pearson, 3rd Viscount Cowdray, and John Howard Cordle.

Dickinson is for his great-great-grandfather: Weetman Dickinson Pearson, 1st Viscount Cowdray.

~~~

Family

The seat of the Pearson Family is Cowdray Estate, Cowdray Park, Midhurst, West Sussex. The picture of the family above was taken at Buck Hall, the atrium of Cowdray House.

The name Cowdray comes from Coudreye, the Norman word for the nearby hazel woods.

Perry is the son and heir of Michael Orlando Weetman Pearson, 4th Viscount Cowdray, and Marina Rose Cordle.

His dad produced the documentary "Sympathy for the Devil," directed and written by Jean-Luc Godard, documenting the creative evolution of the song "Sympathy for the Devil" as the Rolling Stones developed it during recording sessions at Olympic Studios in London.

His mom is an artist, sculptress, interior designer and mindfulness coach, she's keenly interested in spiritual matters, she practises Transcendental Meditation (a form of silent meditation) and Qigong.

His parents separated in August 2023, after 36 years of marriage.

Perry has three older sisters and a younger brother:

Eliza Anne Venetia Pearson (born 31 May 1988). She married her first husband at 21. Later he left her for the Kate Winslet . . . . She remarried, had children and lives in Ibiza now.

Emily Jane Marina Pearson (born 13 December 1989). Tatler Magazine included her as one of the 10 perfect potential brides for Prince Harry . . . . She she studied Plant-based Nutrition and is one of the founders of the vegan restaurant "Farmacy" in Notting Hill.

Catrina Sophie Lavinia Pearson (born 13 March 1991). She goes by "Catty." She's a musician and a film-school graduate.

Montague Orlando William Pearson (born 17 May 1997). He goes by "Monty". Wee brother is 6'4. He's a helicopter pilot, enjoys flying drones and studied film production and graphic design. He was named after the former owners of Cowdray Estate, the Viscounts of Montague.

Perry also has an older half brother:

Sebastian William Orlando Pearson (born 1970).

As you can see, Perry is privileged to be the heir above his older half brother Sebastian, since he was born out of wedlock, and above his older sisters: Eliza, Emily and Catrina, since they were born women . . . . Where have I heard this before???

Sometimes I'm glad I'm an only child . . . .

As any other younger brother of three older sisters, he was annoying. According to Tatler Magazine, Perry liked to wind up his sisters (then vegan) by scoffing meat.

Perry is also an uncle, his sisters Eliza and Emily are mothers of cute babies, but sadly I can't show you pictures. He looks cute holding a baby tho.

Talking about cute babies, that little curly blonde boy sat in a chair next to his standing father in one of the portraits in the picture above, is Perry. His portrait was painted by Chinese artist Chen Yanning, who also painted Queen Elizabeth II's portrait:

Here a few more childhood pics:

That picture of of him as a baby peeing on a plant, is his Instagram profile picture . . . .

~~~

Education

Business, Management, Marketing, and Related Support Services at the University of West London, UK.

Not Oxford or Cambridge? Shocking!

UX Desing at General Assembly in New York, NY, US.

Dear Perry, you can improve my user experience by making your instagram account public. That would do!

~~~

Occupation

In January 2015, it was reported by Tatler Magazine that he was working for Aylesford International Estate Agents in London.

He also worked as an assistant site manager for Cordles, a London based contractor company founded by his maternal uncle Rupert Cordle.

He started working at Cowdray Estate in West Sussex, his family estate and heirdom, since 2016 to this day.

He's also the founder, partner and director of Weetman Developments, his own property investment and development company in London, since 2019 to this day.

Perry is also a Le Chameau – the wellington boot brand – ambassador.

As you can see, Perry is basically a nepo baby lol

But that doesn't mean he doesn't work, Cowdray Estate is huge (16,500 acre), and offers a vast variety of activities like golf, clay-pigeon shooting, fly fishing on the river Rother, walking, cycling, riding, polo, truffle hunting, hospitality at the farm shop & café, holiday cottages, tree houses, wedding venues, private stays and events at Cowdray House, filming locations (the Cowdray Ruins were used during the filming of Margot Robbie and Saoirse Ronan’s film, "Mary Queen of Scots"), among others, and Perry is/will be in charge of all of that.

According to his mom, back in 2019 he was pioneering aquaponic farming on a commercial scale [The Telegraph - June, 2019].

In an interview for The Gentleman's Journal, Perry said that he's working to pass the estate on to his heir in better conditions: “But the dream is to pass it on to my son or daughter in better nick than it’s in now. That’s the mentality when it comes to estates,” “You’re so grateful that you’ve been given this opportunity, you want others to have the same opportunity that you had.”

I don't know if Perry will try to change the primogeniture rules, but it was really nice to read that he thinks his heir could be a son or a daughter.

Perry's family was always wealthy (construction and petroleum in the past, publishing nowadays); but not always aristocrats.

His great-great-grandfather, Weetman Dickinson Pearson, was made a Baronet of Paddockhurst in 1894, then he purchased Cowdray Estate in 1909. Later he was made Baron Cowdray first, in 1910, and then the 1st Viscount Cowdray in 1917.

Viscount, is a European title of nobility, ranking immediately below a count, or earl. It is one of the five ranks of British nobility and peerage, which, in descending order, are duke, marquess, earl, viscount, and baron.

So, when Perry becomes the 5th Viscount Cowdray, he won't be on top of the british nobility; but he will be richer. At present, Perry's family is thought to be worth £224million, and one day, he will inherit all of that.

~~~

Hobbies

Riding (Not Polo)

His family estate includes Cowdray Park Polo Club, dubbed The Home of British Polo, but Perry doesn't play Polo.

His parents never pushed him to, perhaps fearing that he could get hurt by falling from a horse. "Michael (Perry's father) never sought polo glory after a fall from a horse at the age of 13" [standard.co.uk - 2010].

In 2018 he said: “Cowdray is to polo what Goodwood is to racing and Glyndebourne to opera.” “I’m getting lessons.” “I grew up riding and over the next few years it’s something I can see myself doing a lot more” [The Telegraph - August, 2018].

Later, in an interview for The Gentleman's Journal, he joked by saying that "he’s not particularly good at it".

So far, I only saw him presenting Polo trophies and congratulating the champions, so I guess the lessons didn't work . . . . lol

Maybe is better that way, if he doesn't play polo he wont smell of horses. Sophie is asthmatic and allergic to horses.

Golf

He plays golf for some charity and corporate events. No idea if he's good at it.

Clay-pigeon shooting

Not sure if he really shoots at flying clay targets or he only modeled to promote the shooting school at his family estate.

Huntings

He likes to attend posh huntings wearing tweed, baker boy caps and suspenders.

He already took Sophie to one of those last December, but she didn't wear tweed, she defied the rules by wearing a Zara black jacket and a pair of acid washed jeans. . . . She would look great wearing tweed, tho . . . .

(There have been hunters in my family, so I can't judge much)

Here some pics:

Skiing

He seems very skilled at it.

Meribel in France seems to be his family favorite destination to enjoy the snow.

He already took Sophie to ski & “après ski” there, and they were having the time of their lives!

Going to the beach

Yeah!

Ibiza is a favorite destination for his family, his dad used to live there, and now his eldest sister established there with her own family.

Can't wait to see Sophie enjoying the sun in Ibiza next . . . .

Enjoy some pics:

Partying

Fuck yeah!

"Like all the Cowdrays, he loves a party" [Tatler Magazine, January 2015].

"(...) the Hon Peregrine Pearson (the Cowdray heir), known for throwing ‘wild afterparties’ at his house in Chelsea, which he shares with Ella (Richards)’s boyfriend, Sascha von Bismarck" [Tatler Magazine, March 2023].

Here abundant evidence:

Pottery

Perry enjoyed spending time in his mom's pottery studio in the garden: “We were brought up being quite creative – spending time in her studio was very bonding” [The Telegraph - August, 2018].

I would love to see one of those creative pieces made by Perry 👀

Meditation

Like his mom, Perry practises meditation as well. [The Telegraph - June, 2019].

From pictures, it seems he usually wears a silver Meditator pendant. The Meditator is a seated figure, with a pointed head, a heart and a hole in its middle. His mom designed it herself, as a reminder to live in the present moment, rather than fretting about the past or future.

~~~

Previous relationships

His only known/famous relationship was with Princess Maria Olympia of Greece and Denmark.

He dated Olympia for three years, since 2020 to 2023.

She seemed really into Perry during the relationship:

But shortly after their break up was official, she was reported being in a relationship with an older, married with children man . . . .

His wife kicked him out of the house after the news. Good for her! [Read more about it here]

~~~

So far, this is all I learnt about Sophie's Hon Perry Pearson. I love that he's so tall and the way he can hug her being so tall, I bet Sophie loves it too.

But I kinda hate that the press only uses his most unflattering pictures, when is easy to find public pictures where he actually looks good.

Also, my friend told me that he reminds her a bit of Paul Mescal, and now I can't unsee it . . . .

What more can I say about him after my research? Oh, maybe that he has met the Dalai Lama and sat next to Kim Kardashian and Kimora Lee Simmons at Paris Hilton's wedding lol

He also loves to wear sunglasses, even indoors . . . .

Anyways, now to the point of this post!

~~~

Romance with Sophie Turner

Perry is a Scorpio and Sophie is a Pisces, like Scorpio Ryan Gosling and Pisces Eva Mendes . . . .

I have no idea how they met, where they met, or when they met, but we have evidence that they spent the last part of October 2023 together.

2023 was a rough year for both of them, with her divorce and custody battle, and with his own break up with his ex, and the separation of his parents after 36 years of marriage.

The first time we saw him next to Sophie, we have no idea who he was. It was during the Rugby World Cup final on October 28th 2023, just before Sophie unveiled the trophy:

Perry was there with Sophie, but we had no idea they were together until October 31th 2023, when a couple of pictures of them sharing a kiss outside Paris’s Gare du Nord train station were made public and got viral:

The pictures were taken on the same day as the Rugby World Cup final. It was reported that they arrived together in Paris from London via the Eurostar, and said goodbye with a kiss before meeting again later at the Stade de France.

When their Paris kiss pictures were all over the press, someone claimed that their friend had seen them together the week before:

So, if the Rugby World Cup final was on October 28th 2023 and Perry's 29th birthday was the day before, I bet the lovebirds spent his birthday together in London.

I wonder what Sophie got Perry for his birthday??? An appointment with a fashion stylist, I hope!

(Perry, honey, burn those double breasted suits in your closet, please! They don't fit your large body 🙏 King Felipe II of Spain, has a similar body and his tailoring is👌)

I also believe they spent the last days of October together in Paris, since they were seen all cozy during a romantic dinner at some fancy Parisian restaurant:

After that Sophie was seen back in New York on November 3th 2023. We don't know if Perry travelled with her to New York, but some anon claims he saw them holding hands in West Village:

Back in London, they were seen making out in a famous spot on November 2023 . . . .

. . . . And having dinner with friends on early December 2023:

Later, we have graphic evidence of them spending time together from the 7th to the 10th of December 2023, at least.

December 7th 2023:

They went to Hyde Park Winter Wonderland at night, where they walked around, hugged and kissed:

December 8th 2023:

They had brunch in West London and walked around hand in hand, eventually stopping so Perry could gently caress Sophie's face and kiss her:

That day, this also happened . . . . 🤨

December 9th 2023:

They attended a posh hunting weekend at Blenheim Palace in Woodstock, Oxfordshire, held by some of the current Spencer-Churchills: George Spencer-Churchill and his wife Camilla Thorp, Marquess and Marchioness of Blandford (they will be Duke and Duchess of Marlborough one day).

The event was full of Perry's aristocrat friends like Alexander Spencer-Churchill, Lady Jemima Herbert, the Earl of Pembroke’s daughter, and Eleanor Wellesley, the Duke of Wellington’s niece, among others.

So, Perry has basically already introduced Sophie to some relative and close friends:

Can someone please explain to me why is Perry wearing a pink ribbon around his neck in the last picture? Is a mystery I need to resolve in this lifetime.

Here a few more pics:

After that, I suspect they spent the holidays together in London, or, at least, that they saw each other for a few hours during those days. I'm not saying she introduced him to her family and daughters, but it's obvious that they are dating and Christmas and the New Year are festivities you want to share with the people you care for.

I wonder what Perry got Sophie for Christmas? A handmade ceramic vase? A basket full of hydroponic vegetables that he grew himself?Diamonds?

And most recently, on January 17, 2024, they were seen walking around London at night all cozied up:

I want her UGGS!!!

Also, are those really mini liquor bottles at Perry's hand??? At first I thought they were Sophie's nail polish bottles 💅🏼

Someone spotted them skiing in Meribel, France. It was reported on January 28th, 2024, but it was probably before that date. Deuixmoi titled the stories as "let's see what your fave celebs have been up to the past week"

She's having the time of her life with Perry? GOOD FOR HER!

OK, today January 29th 2024, Sophie herself posted pics of them skiing in Meribel together with a couple of Perry's friends:

Lol at Perry not looking at the camera in the first pic 🤭

So, I suppose they are official now, right? Maybe it's time to post this post . . . .

~~~

Now, in the beginning of this post I said that after knowing Perry's fantasy novel/bird-like name, I immediately thought about ASOIAF's House Arryn and Harry Hardyng, you know, since House Arryn's sigil is a falcon, Harry Hardyng is dubbed the Young Falcon, and the peregrine is literally a species of falcon.

And since Harry Hardyng is the current Sansa's suitor in the ASOIAF incomplete series, I joked with my friends by saying that Sophie has entered his Harry Hardyng era . . . .

Perry also made me remember that passage in A Storm of Swords where Margaery's peregrine took a heron in full flight the day she and Sansa went hawking.

Peregrine is also the name of a ship that Arianne Martell boards in one of the few chapters of The Winds of Winter that GRRM released in advance.

Perry's name also reminds me of Pippin from The Lord of the Rings, since his full name is Peregrin Tuk, but this is a story for another day.

But if the Pearsons of Cowdray were a House from Westeros, they would be the Arryns enemies, since the Pearson's sigil is a gryphon:

And thanks to Sansa/Alayne we all know that the Winged Knight and the Griffin King were mortal enemies:

The Winged Knight was Ser Artys Arryn. Legend said that he had driven the First Men from the Vale and flown to the top of the Giant's Lance on a huge falcon to slay the Griffin King. —A Feast for Crows - Alayne II

You know, in some ancient mythologies, the creature known as gryphon is depicted as fire-belching: "winged, tailed, and taloned dragon which spat fire." 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 Just saying . . . .

House Pearson motto is:

'Do it with thy might'

These words are carved on the stone fireplace in Buck Hall, the atrium at the heart of Cowdray House.

According to The Gentleman's Journal, Perry translates his family motto to simpler words: “Just do it — that might be a more modern approximation.”

But he's more into Adidas and North Star. Sorry Nike . . . . lol

Anyways, GRRM has the opportunity to do the funniest thing . . . .

~~~

And talking about GRRM, it's time to tell you that Perry's family are the founders and large share holders of Pearson plc, a British multinational publishing and education company headquartered in London.

Pearson plc owns Penguin Random House, you know, GRRM's publishers, the ones that publish the ASOIAF series . . . .

And I recently came to know that Penguin Random House is going to republish Joan Hannington’s autobiography “I Am What I Am” under the title ‘Joan.’ And, you know, Sophie's upcoming project is precisely a tv series called ‘Joan,’ with Sophie taking the role of Joan Hannington . . . .

Some will say that this is part of the j word agenda, lol

Again, GRRM has the opportunity to do the funniest thing . . . .

~~~

Finally, we need to answer an important question!

~~~

So . . . .

A match made in heaven? Or maybe we won't see his face again?

Only time will tell. I only hope that he makes Sophie super happy as long as they are together.

I will probably update this post with time or make a part 2, because Tumblr doesn't let me add more pictures 😢

Thanks for reading!

#sophie turner #PP #i am half boredom half procrastination #already updated with some lil bit I missed when i posted this last night . . . .#thehonseries

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starryeyedrogue · 3 years ago

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legolas headcanons

part of my ongoing LotR headcanons series! I’ll post a masterlist when I’m done:) hope you enjoy!

he’s really close with his dad, Thranduil, now, especially since returning from his Journey with the Fellowship

he constantly brought home orphaned animals as an elfling. his dad begrudgingly accepted but wasn’t thrilled until Legolas brought home an elk, one of his favorite animals

he smells like spring air, specifically the air after an early spring snowstorm (cool and crisp, but still sweet and soft)

he grew close with Sam and Frodo, constantly discussing plant life in the Shire and their mutual love of poetry and nature

Sam taught Legolas typical Hobbit meals, which he still makes on occasion!

he actually enjoyed Merry and Pippin’s pranks, so he asked them to teach him! he pulled a prank on Aragorn once and Gimli didn’t stop laughing for ages afterward

he’s actually super sassy, but feels like he should “dial it down some” since he’s a prince. he still jokes around with his closest friends though

he’s an expert forager, and he, Aragorn, and Sam often looked for ingredients together during the Journey

he’s an expert healer!

he’s a bit of a helicopter-parent around the hobbits, despite them being only a bit younger than him comparatively

he’s a sucker for sweets, especially Turkish Delight-type desserts

he sings to himself in the early mornings and loves hiking, the earlier the better

he constantly teases Gimli about the many times he out-drank the Dwarf (Gimli hates this so much and is always demanding a recount or new contest to prove it was the fault of the liquor - “that manling drought is too weak, I was going easy on you!”)

he makes an effort to visit his friends as often as possible, bringing the finest Elven wine each time

he loves early mornings and is always up at least two hours before sunset

he makes an effort to see the sunset and sunrise, no matter how busy he is! he often paints it or writes poems about it

he’s used to having servants around, so he’s actually surprisingly messy and a bad cook. over the course of the Journey, however, he’s improved and is actually decent at cooking!

that being said, he’s more comfortable cooking with a more experienced cook around “just in case”

he keeps in close contact with Aragorn

they often discuss the hardships of leading their kingdoms, as Legolas is Prince of the Woodland Realm and Aragorn is King of Gondor. they gossip about their people sometimes too lol

that’s enough for now! hope you enjoyed!

#roguespeaks #legolas #lotr headcanons #lotr headcanons masterlist

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hrhduchessoflancaster · 4 years ago

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Chapter Ninety-Four: The New Elizabethan Era

Disclaimer: see Prologue

A/N: Almost at the end now, everyone. Just one more chapter and epilogue to go. Hope you enjoy it! Thank you. xx Bea

_____________________________________________

September, 2020

Harry and Elle had remained in Sussex for a month after Philip’s death but duties over the UK had made them return to London. Elle’s parent’s and occasionally Charles and Camilla as well were more than happy to babysit the youngsters. Charles had taken the Sussexes to Highgrove and much like he had done with Arthur when he was a baby, the proud grandfather introduced his littlest grandchild to the all the animals and plants at the estate, going into much detail about the care of each one of them. Owen, like his older brother, enjoyed seeing the animals the most and even tried to pet a few of them.

“ He’s a curious little boy, isn’t he?”, said Charles as Owen stretched out his arms trying to grab a hold of the sheep’s ear.

“ He most certainly is! Arthur was more of an observant baby. Owen is the opposite. Acts first. Think later. Something we’ll have to be more careful about in the near future.”, said Elle. They said their farewells to the animals and walked along the path towards the house.

“ Have you heard from Will and Kate? We’ve been so busy lately with engagements and meetings that we’ve barely had time to breathe.”, asked Harry.

“ I have. They’ve been visiting mama every weekend, keeping her company.”, said Charles with a sad smile.

“ And how is she?”, asked Elle, balancing Owen on her arms. Charles sighed and shook his head.

“ Hanging in there. But we fear she’s losing her will to live.”, he replied.

As Harry had predicted, the Queen quite never recovered from her husband’s death. She resumed her public activities after three months in Sandringham. While there, she had often received visits from her children and grandchildren, as well as her great grandchildren, which seemed to bring back a bit of light and laughter into her life. Her animals were also a source of joy for her. She had traveled to Balmoral for the summer and enjoyed having the family around but it also brought many memories from Prince Philip that left her shaken up.

Once the summer was over, instead of returning to London she decided to reside at Windsor and remain there, where she could continue her duties but be away from the public eye. And even though she had put on a brave façade, they all knew she was suffering. A loss such as hers leaves deep marks on the heart and soul and takes a toll on the body. And little by little the family saw the spark she once had, fade away.

**********

By mid September they returned to Sussex for an extended stay. There, they took the time to take their sons to the Ashdown Forest and played Pooh sticks with them and explored bits of the forest itself, much to the enjoyment of the children. Arthur, now three, had taken up to running while Owen, who was still tumbling on his feet at almost nine months old, tried to follow suit. While there, they also took the time to improve their vegetable garden and farming, started renovations two of the three cottages at the property into a guest houses for visitors who wished more privacy as well as the rooms at the end of the first floor and the second floor into more suitable bedroom and a playroom for the children. They had a hired a full-time staff to work at the property with a housekeep living on site in one of the cottages while the remaining workers lived in the village, which was a short distance from the house.

Elle had taken the time she had with Charles at Highgrove to get some tips into what and how to plant at the property. In addition to the herb and vegetable garden, she also wanted to grow a few fruit trees such as apple, mulberry, raspberry, peach and pomegranate as well as some strawberries in the field next to the vegetables. She also wanted to plant a few flowers and start beekeeping. In a few years, she imagined, the property would have sufficient food to stock up their pantry and sell it in the farmer’s market at the village. Arthur loved helping her out when she was planting, helping put in seeds for the flowers and some other edible plants. He’d giggle and smile when he got his hands dirty but was ever so gentle with how he handled the plants, following the gentle guidance of his mother.

On Harry’s birthday, they kept it low key and decided to have a small celebration, just the four of them. Elle had baked a caked and the boys ‘helped’ decorate it with some fruits they had picked while in the village. She had also prepared their shared favourite pudding ‘Eton Mess’ so they could have as a side dish to the cake. They gathered around Harry, laughing and cheering as they sang Happy Birthday and he blew the candles.

“ Thirty-six huh, Major? You’re getting old…”, joked Elle, kissing his cheek. He chuckled and shook his head, cutting a piece of the cake which he divided into three parts so he could give the first piece to them. Harry helped Arthur eat small pieces of the slice while Elle crumbled a bit of the cake to give Owen a taste. In a light and loving mood, the small family enjoyed their food

“ Boys! Should we give Dada his gifts?”, she asked her sons and they cheered once again. Elle then handed each of them a parcel which they handed without ceremony to their father. Opening Arthur’s first he smiled as he saw the the little card with a doodle made by his eldest son and Elle’s calligraphy written at the bottom which read: “ To Dada. You make me happy and I love you.”. Below it, a pair of grey tracksuit trousers that he’d been needing for a few months. Smiling, touched with the gift, he hugged his eldest son and kissed his cheek.

“ Thank you, little cub. I loved it.”, he said and the boy grinned at his father then sat down beside him. He then took the one Owen had practically thrown at him and unwrapped it. Inside, there was a white t-shirt with an impression of his tiny hands in forest green, with his name and age printed below it. He chuckled and put it on, smiling at his youngest son and family, once again touched by the simple yet meaningful gifts he had received.

“ Thank you, little warrior.”, he said, hugging Owen and also kissing his cheek. “ Thank you all. I loved my gifts. The boys seemed satisfied with their father’s reply but soon lost interest in him and amused themselves with the wrappers, tearing it to pieces. Elle smiled, watching her sons and quietly approached her husband.

“ You have one more, Major.”, she said, handing him a small rectangular box. He eyed her suspiciously while opening it. Inside, placed in tissue paper was a familiar bracelet design: a leather string, and a metal plate with numbers and letters in it.

“ Let’s see if you can guess this one.”, she said. Smiling, he took a closer look. 52° 49′ 47″ N, 0° 30′ 50″ E.

“ Well… assuming you’re following the same pattern, are those the coordinates to Sandringham?”, he asked.

“ Yes. Owen needed his own personal bracelet, too.”, said Elle, putting it on his wrist.

“ Thank you, love.”, he replied, kissing her softly. “ Maybe we can get someone to put them all together in a single bracelet, so I can wear them all at once.”, he said to her.

“ I think that’s a great idea! She said, playing with the infinity band encrusted with diamonds that Harry had given her after Owen’s birth.

“ And leave room for more… for I’m sure we’ll have more memorable moments to add to the collection.”, continued Harry. She smiled, nodding her head and pulled him towards her, hooking her arms around him and pressing their lips together for a more passionate kiss.

“ Easy there, love. The little ones are still up.”, whispered Harry, his lips still dangerously close to hers. Elle smirked and bit her bottom lip.

“ In an hour we’ll remedy that.”, she said, a twinkle of mischief in her eyes.

**********

On the following week, the couple travelled to Stratford-upon-Avon for Elle’s second official visit to the Royal Shakespeare Company, which she had become a patron after Arthur’s birth. She had been to a few plays and been in touch with the directors but this was the first time she’d visit them after she and Harry had stepped up their duties. The children stayed with nanny Jackie who had been hired again once they had Owen and their workload increased. That way, the children could travel with them and the nanny would come along to take care of the boys while they were at work.

They had taken the helicopter and descended on Warwick that morning which was a 15 minute drive to Shakespeare’s birthplace. This time around, they’d be shown some landmarks in the city as well as attending a performance of Henry V later that same evening. They’d be staying overnight at Warwick Castle at their own expense just so they could enjoy the visit properly. At Warwick, Lisa and Daniel took care of settling their thing in the castle and Nanny Jackie took the children with her as well while Elle, Harry, Ronald, Ingrid, Alfred and Leo drove to Stratford. The couple was met with a crowd surrounding the main street, waving little English flags on their hands. Dressed in a black, long sleeved shirt and a burgundy knee high skirt, Elle waved at the people and Harry followed beside her as they walked at the entrance of the school where Shakespeare studied.

“ Your Royal Highnesses, it’s a pleasure to have you here at Stratford.”, greeted the Mayor of the town, shaking their hands.

“ Thank very much for having us. My husband and I are very happy to be here.”, said Elle, smiling. They proceeded to be taken inside the school, where they were given a private tour, followed by other landmarks such as Shakespeare’s home, Anne Hathaway’s cottage and Trinity Church where he’s buried. After the tours, they returned to the castle to rest and change for the evening.

At the castle, they enjoyed some quality time with the boys during the afternoon by privately walking around the main building and grounds, trying to shoot a few arrows, meeting the actors and actresses dressed up as knights and ladies. Elle took upon herself to explain a few bit and pieces of medieval history to her children who seemed to enjoy being entertained by her mother as she made faces and sounds when telling particularly interesting moments of the Middle Ages.

Once the sun started to go down, they returned to their suite, took care of the children and left them in the care of nanny Jackie while they dressed up for the night. Harry put on his suit while Elle put on a black dress with soft purple flowers in a mesh fabric draped over the base, giving it a shimmer. Before they left, they kissed the boys goodnight and departed for the theatre. Upon arrival at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre, they were met with a line up of photographers and a few o the board members and directors from the RSC, whom Elle had previously met.

“ Welcome, Your Royal Highnesses!”, greeted by Gregory Doran, the artistic director of the company.

“ It’s a pleasure to be here. I’ve been longing to watch of the historical productions here at Stratford for a few years now and now I finally can!”, joked Elle, and they both chuckled.

“ You cannot believe how excited she is for this.”, said Harry, grinning.

“ I hope we can meet the expectations and deliver a performance to remember.”, said the director.

“ I have no doubt it’ll be wonderful.”, said Elle.

Moving inside the theatre, they were directed to their box and received with a trumpet sound and applauses from the public. They smiled and acknowledged the audience before taking their seats. During the play Elle smiled, cheered, cried and got emotional as the story she knew — both historically and culturally — so well. At the end of the play, they were taken to the backstage, where they met and talked to the actors and actresses.

“ I actually enjoyed it!”, said Harry smiling at Elle, as they rode back to Warwick.

“ I had a feeling you would. It’d a war play after all.”, Elle replied chuckling.

“ Yes, I enjoyed that. But the speeches were also very good. Very inspiring.”, said Harry.

“ Oh absolutely! So much so that during World War Two the BBC recorded a film of Henry V to be broadcasted at home and internationally to the soldiers as a way to boost moral.”, said Elle.

“ Really? Didn’t know that. Makes sense though.”, replied Harry. The short ride to the castle was enough to bring their adrenaline down, which made them jump to bed as quick as they could and fall soundly asleep in each other’s arms.

***********

October 2020

Back in London, Elle met up with her friends for lunch and tea at Kensington Palace while Harry, Richard and Edward were out together at polo training for the match they had coming up. Melissa and Trevor had yet to meet Owen and were delighted to see him and how much Arthur had grown. Valerie and Mary were also delighted to see their friend and children.

“ Look at you! A mother of two!”, said Melissa, smiling sweetly as they watched the children play. Rose, who was a bit older than the boys, coerced them into playing her favourite games which the boys welcomed as a distraction to their own playtime games.

“ Arthur looks so much like you…”, commented Trevor, who in the past year had gotten engaged and remained his bubbly self. “ Owen, however, looks a bit more like Harry.”, he continued, earning agreements all around.

“ Hmmm… I don’t really see it but I guess I’m used to seeing the the bits that are mine and the ones that are Harry’s in both of them.”, replied Elle.

“ Speaking of children, how are Blair and Jeremy, Mel?”, Elle asked.

“ Oh, Blair started uni this term. History of Art and I’m entirely guilty and proud of her choice.”, said the older woman and they all chuckled.

“ Jeremy is having the time of his life at school ever since he started playing rugby. François thinks he has a genuine future in it.”, she continued.

“ That’s amazing! I’m really happy for them.”, said Elle. “ Oh how time passes quickly… yesterday they were little children!”, she continued and the mothers agreed.

“ They do grow up in front of our eyes, don’t they?”, said Mary.

“ They do. I’ve caught myself crying a few times while folding their clothes. Owen’s already wearing size one year old. He’s growing up too fast!”, said Elle.

“ Speaking of babies… I have something to tell you.” Said Mary smiling coyly. Elle’s and Victoria’s eyes widened.

“ No! You are? You are!”, said Victoria and Mary nodded her head, chuckling. “ I’m gonna be an aunt again!”, she said happily.

“ Congratulations! I’m so happy for you and Rick. I’m sure Rose will love having another sibling.”, said Elle, hugging her friend.

“ We’ve been trying for so long, you know? I’m only a couple of weeks along but I wanted to share the news with people I know wish me well.”, said Mary.

“ Of course we do and we’re ecstatic for you.”, said Valerie encouragingly.

That afternoon was filled with joy and laughter that Elle had missed severely int he past months after they had lost the Duke of Edinburgh. It felt good to be surrounded by people who could make her smiled and forget for a few moments, the sorrow, sadness and loss that had permeated their lives in the last couple of months. Those sad days, however, would soon return.

On the 9th of October, near 8 am, they received a phone call from Charles asking them to meet with him immediately at Clarence House. Their staff was alerted by his staff and were already set in motion to take them there. They rushed to the familiar home, barely greeting Greyson on their way to the Drawing Room. They were slightly shocked to see not only Charles and Camilla there, but also Andrew and Edward. All of them looking visibly shocked and red in the face as if they’d been crying.

“ Oh good, you’re here.”, said Camilla. “ Charles, they are here.”, said Camilla to her husband who had been talking in rushed tones to his siblings and senior advisor.

“ Harry, Eleanor.”, said Charles, hugging them both and sniffing on their shoulders.

“ Pa, you’re scaring us. What’s wrong?”, said Harry, cautiously.

“ It’s your grandmother. Anne has just called. I’m afraid… I’m afraid she’s passed away.”, said Charles, sobbing. Their eyes widened and tears began falling from their cheeks, which triggered the rest of the family to also cry in their shared grief. They hugged Charles while he cried at the same time as they held themselves amidst such tragic news.

“ How?”, asked Elle, turning to the people in the room, still in disbelief.

“ Heart failure, in her sleep. According to what Anne has told us.”, replied Edward. Gulping and sniffing, Elle nodded her head.

“ At least it was peaceful.”, she replied and they all nodded their head. Charles composed himself and dried his face with his fingers.

“ Operation London Bridge is on the way. The Private Secretary and Prime Minister have already been informed. I imagine the rest of the government will soon receive the news as well.”, said Charles, visibly shaken.

And so they did. The Foreign and Commonwealth Office were also communicated and passed down the news to the other fifteen countries of which Her Majesty was the head of state and also the governments of the Commonwealth. The news vehicles were also alerted and all schedules programmes were interrupted. Soon, the news had reached the world that this most beloved Queen had passed away, age 94. A footman pinned a dark-edged notice to the gates of Buckingham Palace, much like her own father’s death had been notified. But unlike during her father’s reign, the staff of all royal households took to social media to address the public and keep them updated about a book of condolence and other way they could share take part in the ceremonies around the the UK and abroad to celebrate Queen Elizabeth.

That morning, the Prime Minister, Mr. Christopher Simmons recalled the Parliament and it would meet within the first hours of the news being shared. There, he addressed the House of Commons. Soon after, all government building were flying their flags at half-mast and all ceremonial ornaments were placed in black purses as a sign of mourning for the past monarch.

That same day, her body was moved, and placed at St. George’s Chapel, with the royal standard draped over her coffin. The first funeral rites were given at the by the Windsor chaplain and the guards stationed at the castle mounted a guard of honour inside the building and would remain there for the next two days before he body was transported by by car to London, where it would remain at Buckingham Palace’s Throne Room for a day.

In the afternoon, the Prime Minister came around Clarence House to meet with Charles who was now the Head of State. The family’s engagements were cancelled for the rest of the month and Elle and Harry remained at Clarence House overnight, their children had been brought to them by their staff, so they could support Charles and be close as a family. On the following day, they drove with Charles and Camilla to St. James’s Palace for the Accession Council meeting.

“ Your Majesty, Your Royal highnesses, we’re very sorry for your loss.”, said a councillor as the family entered the building side by side. Inside it, members of the Privy Council, officers of the State, members of the House of Lords — which included Elle’s father and uncle, the Archbishop of Canterbury and other senior members of the Church of England, the mayor of London, high commissioners and representatives of the Commonwealth realms.

As Charles took his place at the front of the room, with the people surrounding him, Charles made his Oath of Allegiance to the Council, the Church of England and Church of Scotland. Then, Charles seated on the Sovereign’s Chair and one by one, the members of government present as well as Harry, Elle and Camilla made their oaths of allegiance which would be repeated in a more ceremonial manner during his coronation in a few months. Afterwards, they moved to the Proclamation Gallery outside the court of the palace where the proclamation was read out-loud by the Garter King of Arms.

“Whereas it has pleased Almighty God to call to His Mercy our late Sovereign Lady Queen Elizabeth II of Blessed and Glorious memory, by whose Decease the Crown is solely and rightfully come to the High and Mighty Prince Charles Philip Arthur George. We, therefore, the Lords Spiritual and Temporal of this Realm, being here assisted with these Her late Majesty's Privy Council, with representatives of other Members of the Commonwealth, with other Principal Gentlemen of Quality, with the Lord Mayor, Aldermen, and Citizens of London, do now hereby with one voice and Consent of Tongue and Heart publish and proclaim that the High and Mighty Prince Charles Philip Arthur George is now, by the death of our late Sovereign of happy memory, become King Charles the Third, by the Grace of God King of this Realm and of all His other Realms and Territories, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith, to whom His lieges do acknowledge all Faith and constant Obedience with hearty and humble Affection, beseeching God by whom Kings and Queens do reign, to bless the Royal Prince Charles the Third with long and happy Years to reign over us.”

“ The Queen is dead. Long live the King!”, he shouted.

“ Long live the King!”, was repeated by all.

#phff #Prince Harry #prince harry fanfic #prince harry fanfiction

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crackspinewornpages · 4 years ago

Text

Hamlet, Prince of Denmark -William Shakespeare

A1S1

(in high school we had groups that had to make a video based on this play)

Francisco and Bernard are guarding the castle, it’s so dark they can’t see each other, (seems a problem when you’re supposed to be guarding should have brought torches) then they hear footsteps, it’s Horatio and Marcellus. Marcellus asks if it appeared again, not yet, the past two nights it showed, Bernard starts to explain the experiences when the ghost appears.

It’s the previous king and Horatio starts to question it but it walks away and disappears. Horatio confirms it looked like the king Hamlet wearing the armor he wore to fight Norway and slayed the king Fortinbras, his son is now gathering an army, “and even the precurse of fierce events, as harbingers preceding still the fates and prologue to the omen coming on;”p.1007 The ghost reappear and disappears at dawn and Horatio thinks to get Hamlet to see if it will talk to his son.

A1S2

In the castle the King, Queen, Hamlet, Polonius and others are grouped so Claudius can give a speech about his dead brother. The previous king is dead but let’s not mourn since he just married his brother’s window. Oh, and Fortinbras thinks they’re weak now, sent a message for them to surrender, so he’ll send Cornelius to Fortinbras’s bed ridden uncle and that’s the news. (wait wait wait go back to the potential war please that sounds pretty urgent) Claudius turns to Laertes (I played Laertes and the joke was he’s a hermaphrodite since we couldn’t really hide my big boobs) who wants to talk to him, he wants to return to France, he only came to see the coronation, Polonius will support him and the king allows it. Then he asks Hamlet why he’s still upset and his mother orders him to take off his mourning clothes, people die all the time he should know that. Hamlet says they suit his mood, (we played Hamlet as an emo) Claudius says that’s sweet but fathers die all the time, it’s duty to mourn but he’s doing it too much, (his dad died two months ago) maybe go back to school, or stay here and Hamlet agrees to stay for his mom.

Hamlet is left alone and soliloquies that he wants to die, (emo just go write some bad poetry) his father only died two months ago and here his mom married his uncle within a month. “It is not nor it cannot come to good; but break, my heart, for I must hold my tongue!”p.1010 Horatio, Marcellus and Bernard come to him and he greets them happy to see his friend Horatio. Horatio claims to come to the funeral, but Hamlet says he came for the wedding and Horatio confesses they followed. They then tell Hamlet they saw his father’s ghost who wouldn’t speak, they thought he should know. Hamlet confirms their description is like his father so agrees to watch with them tonight and see if it will speak to him. “My father’s spirit in arms! All is not well; I doubt some foul play: would the night were come! Till then sit still, my soul: foul deeds will rise, though all the earth o’erwhelm them, to men’s eyes.”p.1011

A1S3

In Polonius’s house Laertes is telling his sister goodbye and to write, also don’t get involved with Hamlet. “Perhaps he loves you now,”-“but you must fear, his greatness weigh’d, his will is not his own, hoe he himself is subject to his birth;”p.1011 (he doesn’t really have a choice his duty and country will come first) He warns to stay away from him or she’ll be hurt, “Be wary then; best safety lies in fear: youth to itself rebels, though none else near.”p.1011 Ophelia (her actress played her like a party girl) agrees to listen to his advice. Polonius comes to give Laertes some advice, don’t act rash, hold old friends close be slow to embrace new ones, don’t get into fights easily but if he has to kick ass, dress nice, listen and never borrow or lend money, also be true to himself. When Laertes leaves Polonius asks Ophelia what he told her and her relationship with Hamlet. She says Hamlet loves her Polonius forbids her from seeing him and don’t believe anything he says. (why wouldn’t you want your daughter to be a queen are you trying to spare her the cost of the crown)

A1S4

On the platform Hamlet, Horatio and Marcellus meet as the trumpets sound and Hamlet says his uncle likes to rouse his habit, and that such a thing is better broken then goes on that his revelry looks bad on the country, (a king that constantly parties like it’s 1999 doesn’t look good) when ghost daddy appears and Hamlet calls to him. “I’ll call thee Hamlet King, father, royal Dane, O! Answer me:”p.1013 He wants to know why after they buried him he’s come back, what should they do, it beckons Hamlet to follow and he does despite Horatio and Marcellus telling him not to. When he does his friends don’t like it, “Something is rotten in the state of Denmark,”p.1014 so they follow after Hamlet.

A1S5

Finally the ghost speaks that he is tormented and requires vengeance, “till the foul crimes done in my days of nature are burnt and purg’d away.”-“Revenge his foul and most unnatural murder.”p.1014 (could have told your distraught son that you love him but no give him a morally agonizing quest when he’s emotionally fragile) A most foul murder, he was sleeping in the orchard when a serpent poured poison in his ear and now wears his crown and married his queen. “If thou hast nature in thee, bear it not; let not the royal bed of Denmark be a couch for luxury and damned incest.”p.1014 (they’re not related by blood to each other so not technically incest) He says to leave his mom for heaven to judge and leaves Hamlet who begs him to stay and swears to remember and go through with the request, “that one may smile, and smile, and be a villain:”p.1015 (why is Shakespeare so damn quotable) Swearing to kill his uncle his friends find him but Hamlet only tells them what happened if they won’t say anything and swear on their swords even though he may act crazy not to reveal anything. They do after the ghost shouts from the ground to swear (he’s in the ground so is he in hell) and Hamlet bemoans his responsibility. “The time is out of joint; o cursed spite, that I was ever born to set it right!”p.1016

A2S1

In Polonius’s house Polonius gives Reynaldo money and letters to give his son also to spy on him and gives him instructions on how to and sends him off. (helicopter parent much) Ophelia then comes in, she’s frightened because Hamlet came in her chambers disheveled, grabbed her, stared at her then let her go and left. (like he agonized over having to leave her) Polonius decides to talk to the king about it since Hamlet must be in love and will do something desperate and Ophelia says she refused him and Polonius thinks that rejection made him crazy.

A2S2

King Claudius and Queen Gertrude meet Rosencrantz (I also played him changed his name to Rose) and Guildenstern and the king summoned them because of Hamlet’s behavior, unable to recover from his father’s death, what else could it be, so they’re here to make him happy. (did you try therapy) They agree to and the queen has them go get Hamlet. Polonius then enters announcing the ambassadors have returned Voltim and Cornelius. Voltim says the new king of Norway told his nephew not to make war with the Danes but Poland instead, Fortinbras agreed to as long as he can cross his army through Denmark and Claudius is relieved he avoided war. (…you’re a dumbass) Voltim and Cornelius leave and Polonius tells them Hamlet is crazy, pity but true, they need to find the reason. (he’s not taking his father’s death well you people are dense idiots)

He acted crazy with his daughter after she rejected him, he gives the queen Hamlet’s love notes. They plan to prove it by his hiding behind a curtain as Hamlet walks through the lobby and plant Ophelia to see if he’s really crazy for her. The queen notices Hamlet is reading and walking and the leave while Polonius stays to talk to him. Hamlet acts crazy calling Polonius a fish monger but Polonius notices his words are barbs.

When Polonius leaves Rosencrantz and Guildenstern enter and greet Hamlet and Hamlet asks why they came. Rosencrantz says they came to visit him nothing else (sure) Hamlet thanks them but knows the king and queen sent them because he’s depressed. Rosencrantz turns the conversation to the visiting actors, “He that plays the king shall be welcome; his majesty shall have tribute of me;”p.1021 Hamlet asks questions about them then tells his friends they are welcome to stay and he also only pretends to be crazy to fool his uncle-father and aunt-mother. (don’t word it like that)

Polonius enters announcing the actors arrival and Hamlet wants one of them to give a speech of the fall of Troy. (symbolism) Polonius assures they are the best actors as they enter Hamlet welcomes them very enthusiastically and praises the speech one gave and recites Priam’s slaughter and one player continues it. (symbolism) Polonius complains it’s too long, Hamlet gets them to recite more and Polonius begs not to. Hamlet allows him to leave with the players and yells for them to play the Murder of Gonzago (symbolism) and he’ll write a speech for them. (is Hamlet a theater nerd he is dramatic enough) When Rosencrantz and Guildenstern leave him Hamlet soliloquys of his plan to reveal his uncle in the play but he can’t say anything about it, “Am I a coward? Who calls me villain?”p.1023 For his father he must get revenge, have the players act out his father’s murder on front of is uncle to reveal himself. “the play’s the thing wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the king.”p.1024 (check out the Star Trek episode The Conscience of the King it is one of the best of TOS)

A3S1

In a room Claudius, the queen, Polonius, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are discussing Hamlet’s behavior. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern haven’t found a reason for his depression (his dad died) but he did seem excited about the actors (not for the reason you think) and the king sends them to find out more. Now they plan to set Ophelia to see Hamlet’s reaction and they leave as Hamlet is coming. He’s soliloquizing again, “to be, or not to be: that is the question:”p.1024 Is it nobler to kill himself after the act, then he sees Ophelia, she wants to return his letters but he didn’t send them and that he did love her once. He tells her to join a nunnery then breed sinners and it would be better had he not been born and lists his faults. (get over yourself) He asks about Polonius, “Let the doors be shut upon him, that he may play the fool nowhere but in’s own hoiuse.”p.1025

He leaves and Ophelia prays he’ll be restored and woe is her, “to have seen what I have seen, see what I see!”p.1025 (girl there’s so much worse) The king and Polonius reenter and Claudius says he’s not crazy from love, it wasn’t in his speech. There’s danger in it, they have to prevent it by sending him to England, maybe the change will get him over his depression. Polonius thinks the origin is from neglected love and has Ophelia tell him what he said to her, the king thinks he needs to be watched closely.

A3S2

In the castle Hamlet is discussing with the actors playing them up with praise and how to act their roles he gave them. Polonius, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern come and Hamlet has them hurry the actors to the stage. Horatio comes and Hamlet is so happy to see him he expresses his affection for his qualities and asks him to observe his uncle during the play. The king and queen and others enter and Hamlet talks nonsense and asks Ophelia if he can lie in her lap. The actors enter the stage and act out the prologue of a murderer killing the king and seducing his wife, Hamlet calls the play the Mouse-Trap. (not the one by Agatha Christie) The actor nephew enters the stage revealing he is the one to kill the king by pouring poison in his ear. Claudius leaves the play and the rest follow and Hamlet takes it as a sign and Horatio also noticed how he acted.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern come back and Hamlet talks nonsense, they tell him his mother wants to talk to him. Rosencrantz says his behavior has struck her and asks what’s the cause of it (gee what could have happened recently) Hamlet doesn’t answer. The actors come with their recorders and Hamlet accuses Rosencrantz of playing him like a flute, “Call me what instrument you, will, though you can fret me, you cannot play upon me.”p.1030 (bitch I will play you like the cheap kazoo that you are) Polonius comes to take Hamlet to the queen and Hamlet steels himself to talk to her. “let me be cruel, not unnatural; I will speak daggers to her, but use none;”p.1030 (you know it’s bad when you have to tell yourself not to stab your mom)

A3S3

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are talking to the king, “I like him not, nor stands it safe with us to let his madness range.”p.1030 So he’s sending them to England with Hamlet. Polonius comes after they leave to inform him Hamlet is going to see his mother and he’ll spy on them. Now, alone, Claudius starts talking about his crime and guilt over murdering his brother, then starts to pray. Hamlet comes by and tells himself he can’t kill him while he’s praying because he’ll just be sent to heaven. (yeah don’t want another Canterbury incident) “that would be scann’d: a villain kills my father; and for that, I his sole son, do this same villain send to heaven.”p.1031 But it turns out Claudius didn’t mean those prayers. (then what was the point to show how bad he is)

A3S4

In the Queen’s room Gertrude has Polonius hide behind a curtain as Hamlet comes in. She tells him he offended his father Hamlet says she did, he doesn’t like that se married his uncle. She fears he’ll kill her and Polonius starts calling for help and Hamlet starts stabbing him behind the curtain. Polonius dies and Gertrude calls it awful, Hamlet says its not as bad as killing the king and marrying his brother. Hamlet then sees its not Claudius but mostly innocent Polonius. (we had Claudius and Polonius be played by the same person and this was the joke H: I thought that was Claudius they just look so much alike) Hamlet then torments his mother showing her pictures of Hamlet and Claudius, does she have eyes and he soliloquys and Gertrude begs him to stop. (please stop monologuing) “Nay but to live in the rank sweat of an enseamed bed, stew’d in corruption, honeying and making love over the nasty sty,-“p.1033 She begs him to stop and he keeps berating her.

Ghost daddy enters and Hamlet starts talking to him and Gertrude calls him mad and ghost daddy tells him to talk to her. She asks what he’s looking at and Hamlet asks if she sees anything, she doesn’t see or hear anything. He tells her to look at his father as it disappears then Hamlet tells her he was only pretending to be crazy (yeah talking to no one isn’t helping your case) don’t tell Claudius, also don’t have sex with him. (cause it’s super gross) Then he points to Polonius’s corpse and says heaven punished him with this, “I must be cruel only to be kind: thus bad begins and worse remains behind.”p.1033 He has to go to England with his school friends, “whom I will trust as I will adders fang’d,”p.1034 They’ll be hoisted on their own petards and he tells his mother goodnight as he drags away the body.

A4S1

Claudius, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are talking but Gertrude has them go away so she can talk to him alone. Gertrude tells him Hamlet is crazy and killed Polonius and Claudius believes he’s a threat to them all, how can they handle it without causing nationwide scandal. He tells Gertrude Hamlet must be sent to England while they cover it up. (well they are rich enough to get away with it) He calls Rosencrantz and Guildenstern back and tells them what happened.

A4S2

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern find Hamlet and ask him where the body is and Hamlet won’t tell them. He does round a bout saying he can’t trust them since they’re spies for Claudius and warns them, “when he needs what you have gleaned, it is but squeezing you,”p.1035 Rosencrantz says he doesn’t understand.

A4S3

The king tells his attendants he sent people to find the body, Hamlet is dangerous but they can’t put the law on him. (take note royalty are apparently exempt from murder) Rosencrantz enters saying Hamlet won’t tell them where he hid the body. Guildenstern brings Hamlet who says Polonius is at supper with the worms. “we fat all creatures else to fat us, and fat ourselves for maggots:”p.1035 (The Worms Crawl In The Worms Crawl Out~) Finally tells him he’s hidden under the stairs, the king sends people for it. He tells Hamlet he must leave for England at once, when he goes Claudius tells Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to follow, make sure he gets on board. With them gone Claudius hopes England will obey the sealed letters ordering Hamlet’s execution.

A4S4

In a plain in Denmark Fortinbras tells is captain to inform the king they are moving through Denmark as agreed upon. (see Fortinbras is what we call a foil like Hamlet he’s a prince, named after his father, father was killed, but instead of being like Hamlet dicking around he gets shit done) Meanwhile Hamlet and his friends notice the army and the captain runs into them and tells them the army is to fight Poland. “we go to gain a little patch of ground that hath in it no profit but the name.”p.1036 Hamlet marvels at so many people dying for little cause, (wonder what he’d think of modern events) he parts from them and soliloquys again (Shut up, Hamlet!) about his revenge giving him little gain.

A4S5

In the castle Gertrude and Horatio are talking to a gentleman, Ophelia isn’t taking her father’s death well. The gentleman comes back with Ophelia who’s singing about her father being dead and gone. The king comes in and she’s still talking and singing nonsense and when she walks away he orders Horatio to follow her. Then he tells Gertrude, “when sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions.”p.1037 Polonius dies, Ophelia went mad the people are suspicious and Laertes secretly sailed back. There’s a noise and the gentleman warns Laertes is coming with a mob of commoners calling for him to be king. Laertes breaks down the door calling for the king to give him his father, wanting revenge. Claudius admits he’s dead and Gertrude says he didn’t do it. (well…)

Ophelia reenters and when Laertes sees her state he’s enraged, Ophelia sings and passes around flowers. “there’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance; pray, love, remember, and there is pansies, that’s for thoughts.”-“there’s fennel for you, and columbines; there’s rue for you; and here’s some for me;”-“There’s a daisy; I would give you some violets, but they withered all when my father died.”p.1038 (I’m not going to list all the flower meanings but there’s a theory that Ophelia went crazy and because of that she knows the outcome of the play and is mourning the living) Claudius is all for Laertes getting revenge as long as it’s the right person (as long as it’s not him) Laertes wants him buried with no rights and Claudius is all for it. (as long as it’s Hamlet)

A4S6

In a room Horatio is talking to a servant who tells him sailors have letters for him. One gives it to him from the ambassador for England, it’s from Hamlet his ship was boarded by pirates and he was returned to Denmark. (Ho: How are you not dead? Ha: I have no idea! :D) They also have letters to the king and queen and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are still headed to England.

A4S7

In another room Laertes and Claudius are talking, Laertes wants to know why he did nothing against Hamlet, because the people love him and Gertrude loves him and he couldn’t upset them. “And so have I a noble father lost; a sister driven into desperate terms,”p.1040 He will have his revenge. A messenger enters with a letter from Hamlet that he’s returned alone (C: Oh! Give me a big fat break!) and Laertes is pleased his revenge won’t be delayed. Claudius wants him to since Hamlet is jealous of Laertes swordsmanship (in the video C: You can use a sword right? L: ah…. C: You’ll be fine) he will duel him with a sharp foil. Laertes plans to poison it and if that fails Claudius will poison his drink. Just then the queen comes in with news that Ophelia just drowned in a river (Horatio you had one job) went in holding her garlands (our teacher told us to be careful a previous group for the suicide scene pulled a Good Son and the cops were called) her dress became heavy and pulled her under (the exact reason I was warned never to swim in a dress) the king has them follow Laertes fearing his rage reawakened.

A5S1

In a churchyard two clowns (they are called clowns I guess because they’re comedy relief) are digging a grave talking about how the grave is for a woman and if she should be buried here since it may be suicide and they make gallows humor. Hamlet and Horatio see them as one goes off and the other is singing. The clown tosses up skulls and Hamlet wonders what they did in life and asks the clown whose grave it is, the clown says it’s his but not, it’s for a recently dead woman. The clown goes on to say he’s been a gravedigger since Hamlet killed Fortinbras and young Hamlet was born. Hamlet picks up a skull, “Alas! Poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio;”p.1043 (Yorick is what I named my cat skeleton) He was his father’s court jester, where’s his merriment now and puts it back down. “Alexander was buried, Alexander returneth into dust; the dust is earth; of earth we make loam,”p.1044 (no matter how great we were we return to the earth)

They hide when the funeral procession arrives carrying Ophelia and Hamlet sees Laertes first. It starts and when Hamlet sees Laertes mourning his sister realizes it’s for Ophelia. Gertrude spreads flowers hoping she would have been Hamlet’s wife and Laertes leaps into the grave to hug her and wants to be buried with her. (dude while dramatic that is seriously inappropriate) Hamlet leaps in and Laertes attacks him until they get out of the grave and Hamlet declares his love for Ophelia, he’d do anything for her even eat a crocodile (so I’ve eaten alligator before no great feat) and will be buried with her too. (just just stop) Gertrude calls it all madness as Hamlet leaves with Horatio and the king reminds Laertes to be patient.

A5S2

In the hall Hamlet and Horatio talk Hamlet tells him how he found letters on Rosencrantz and Guildenstern ordering his execution in England. So, he wrote new letters ordering their executions, he isn’t sorry fir them but for his actions to Laertes. (well you did disrespect his sister’s funeral after murdering his father) Osrice greets Hamlet then make him a fool of himself when he contradictorily agrees with whatever he says by confuses Hamlet and Horatio when he praises Laertes. A lord enters and asks Hamlet if he is ready for the duel and his mother is waiting for him, against Horatio’s warnings Hamlet agrees to the match. Hamlet says he’s ready to fall, “If it be now, ‘tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come: the readiness is all.”p.1047 (he’s just ready for it to be over)

The king, queen and Laertes enter and Hamlet apologizes to him claiming it was madness that he murdered Polonius. Laertes says he won’t forgive him unless someone advises him to. “But till that time, I do receive your offer’d love like love, and will not wrong it.”p.1048 Hamlet accepts it and they are given their foils and fight, (we used a pool noodle and pool que I was a wimpy little bitch) and Claudius claims if Hamlet wins the first hit he will drink to his health poisoning it. (the poison was Mio) Hamlet hits but refuses to drink, he hits again and Gertrude drinks from the cup before Claudius could stop her. Laertes tells himself to kill Hamlet with a poisoned sword is almost against his conscience but Hamlet goads him to continue and Laertes hits him but in the scuffle switch swords and Hamlet wounds him.

Claudius calls the match off as the queen falls and Laertes lay dying, “I an justly kill’d with mine own treachery.”p.1048 Hamlet asks about his mother and she calls she was poisoned. As Laertes dies he calls out to Hamlet that he is also dying, his sword was poisoned and so is the queen, all the king’s doing. Hamlet then stabs Claudius and makes him drink the poison, doubly dead and as Laertes dies says it’s served, “Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet: mines and my father’s death come not upon thee, nor thine on me!”p.1049 Hamlet forgives him and tells Horatio to tell his story as there was a noise outside as Fortinbras is coming. Hamlet tells Horatio to tell Fortinbras what happened and dies. “Good-night, sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!”p.1049 (Horatio was played gay)

Fortinbras enters the castle and asks what the hell happened and one of the ambassadors announce Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead. Horatio says he will tell them the story and Fortinbras sadly embraces his fortune and has his captains carry Hamlet off like a soldier, “for he was likely, had he been put on, to have prav’d most royally: and, for his passage, the soldiers’ music and the rites of war speak loudly for him.”p.1049 (I sadly never got to see our final project but as a class we did see the Mel Gibson movie)

#hamlet #william shakespeare #books #book summaries #play #tragedy #drama

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szopenhauer · 4 years ago

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Walking into a party, what’s the first thing you look for? someone I know lmfao also a toilet Who was the last person you ate with? my mom, sister and niece

What do you do when you’ve had a bad day? depends Kiss on the first date? maybe Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? yes Are you too shy to tell people when you’re developing feelings for them? wouldn’t say so If you could pack up and leave to move away, would you? yeah Do you wish you were with someone right now? I wish my dad was already home and everybody else OUT or just leave me alone, I wouldn’t mind my gf’s company much either How many more people do you think you’ll kiss before you die? nobody else unless CPR will count if I will ever need it Do you like messing with people when they’re drunk? nothing rude/dangerous Whats a song you absolutely hate? Gangnam style for example Your opinions on bi people? most of them end up in heterosexual relationships anyway because it’s easier Song playing right now? Melanie Martinez songs Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? my mom and sister

What color dominates your wardrobe? dunno

Do you prefer color photos or black-and white? color, black and white or sepia only if they’re really old - elseway they usually remind me of death What color is your house? What about car? white What color “emotion” are you feeling right now? I’m feeling blue? Have you ever seen a double rainbow before? yep, even this year Do you own anything that is rainbow-colored? like one item that I don’t even use anymore Do you enjoy coloring? not really

If you had the chance to get the cast of any canceled tv show back together to make one “reunion” season, would you? Or do you think it’s better remembering it the way it was? If so, what show would you choose? BUFFY!

Do you find music helps you sleep? Which type of music do you sleep to? recently it helps me survive until I feel sleepy enough to not overthink/cry/get anxiety attacks

Would you try to hold back your tears if you were attending a funeral? I didn’t cry but I believe it depends on who’s funeral it is

If you could be one age forever, how old would you be? I just want to be a kid

Do you have a particular shoe brand you favor over others? nah

If you had the choice, what would your final words be? telling my loved ones that I love them

What is one thing you always wanted as a child, but never received? big stuffed black panther and a treehouse mostly

What social situations tend to make you most nervous? all of them?...

What is one medical myth you’re tired of hearing? for an example that severe illnesses are visible all the damn time

Do you like making up nicknames for people? love, they’re catchy and other ppl start to use them to :D

Delete a year of your life, or start over in a new town? deleting one year wouldn’t help unless it was a year I was born like in Shrek movie...

What do you call your grand-parents? babcia

What’s your favorite song by Taylor Swift? Why is that your favorite? the only one I liked was Bad blood mostly because of the music video

What do you think about your hair right now? ugh...

Do you do your homework at the last minute? oh well...

Would you rather get a new brother or sister? new as in a way of replacement or another?

Have you ever used a Polaroid camera? I wanna buy one someday

What is your favorite thing to do online? lots

Have you ever gone to see a movie just to make fun of it? that’s stupid

Would you rather watch Family Guy or South Park? Simpsons

Does it bother you when people wear pajamas out? I’d do that myself :3

Have you ever tried online dating? How did it go? I tried and every single “relationship” failed, not that there were many of them, I met plenty of people that I wish I didn’t tho

Who was the last person you took a picture with? my sister and niece but shadows only

Do your parents allow smoking in your house? nooo

Is your last name shorter than your first name? longer

Last two numbers in your phone number? personal

Who’s in your house? my fam just went to the garden and I have a moment of silence, finally

What magazine(s) do you look at the most? interior design

Are you paranoid? kind of

What item should never be shared? toothbrush, bloody period pad, underwear, towel, used piece of toilet paper, gum that someone already had in their mouth etc.

Do you sleep with a fan on? I don’t even own a fan

How many plants are in your home? too many

Do you ever type “kik” instead of “lol”? it never happened :o

Do you know how to play chess? forgot

Are you picky? about some stuff, sure

How tall is the person you like? tall, much taller than me

Are you excited for winter? if I was then only for Christmas or New year eventually my birthday but it’s doubtful

If it was free and it would work perfectly, would you get plastic surgery? but it ain’t safe and painless etc.

Have you ever been called prince or princess? I dislike that

Do you like your body? pfft

What do you hear right now? dog barking

Last thing you wrote your name on? documents

Where did you get the pants you’re wearing right now? I don’t even remember anymore

When is the next time you will see your grandma? ...

What is it tomorrow? Sunday

Have you ever laughed at someone because they had a funny name? not face to face, I heard some funny names during mass or my mom told me about them and I saw some online or in movie credits Speaking of names, why do celebrities always call their kids stupid ones? to be unique If you have a problem with someone, will you confront them? maybe

Are you more likely to be called a hard worker or lazy? lazy What is your sense of humor like? quite dark, sarcastic, dry, witty, puns, daddy jokes, memes Have you ever had a dream in black and white? I don’t recall What about a dream with no sound? it’s possible What types of people do you tend to avoid? ... all of them? What is one personality trait a potential friend must have? understanding and similar sense of humor Have you ever been in a helicopter? no What color car would you like to have? DeLorean is grey but if I had a jeep then yellow, red, gree, black or silver

What is your favorite mode of travelling? on foot or train, definitely not plane Are your favorite characters often what the majority like? I hardly ever like the main character so I doubt it but who knows? Is it dark outside right now? not yet Do you get scared when it’s a full moon? when I’m outside it’s bothering If you travel anywhere, do you always buy souvenirs for people? often Are you waiting on anyone coming home right now? YES Do you like the way your voice sounds? nope Can you see the stars from your house? not currently but at night - if it’s not cloudy - yup How would you react if your favorite band made a song with your first name as its title? awesome! unless it was real bad Are you considered an awkward person? it seems Is there a light on in the room you’re in? too bright for that What day were you born on? Saturday, my mom said I shouldn’t be lazy then but I responded with - I was half an hour late for Friday Do you like having a favorite everything or do you enjoy keeping open? I often say I have a lot of favorites of things as I have a hard time choosing just one for most of them

How often do you feel pressured to be better than or different than you are? For example, how often do you feel pressured to be skinner, tanner, prettier, etc? Keep in mind that pressure doesn’t always have to come from others; In fact, we can put a lot of pressure on ourselves. ugh...

Would you rather it snow for three days or rain for a week? rain for a week if it didn’t cause the flood

Have you ever changed the look of a survey because you didn’t like the way it was presented? This can even include adding or deleting numbers to the questions. many times

Does it bother you when surveys ask questions that Google could answer? I agree

When is the last time you had a cell phone that wasn’t a smartphone, if ever? 3 years ago

Do you know anyone who can speak more than 5 languages fluently? noooo

Would you rather write an essay on global warming or UFOs? UFO

Do you like sailing? When was the last time you went, if at all? never been and don’t wanna Favourite Pokemon? Mimikyu and Pikachu Do you or have you done martial arts? Which type? karate, self defence

Favorite animal. raccoon

Any turn ons? personal

3 most important people in your life right now? my dad, my gf and my mom

Do you respond to texts quickly? depends

Who was the last person you called? dad

Winter or summer? summer

What is the secret to a happy life? good health, enough money, peace and quiet, either no people around or only good ones, no worries/problems

What are some phrases/words you say often? MAYBE

What are some of your greatest fears? personal

Spicy food:Like or dislike? my stomach doesn’t like spicy food

Do you like to travel? nope

Do you like rain? yup

Would you rather visit the past or the future? future to see if it’s worth living for - past if not to enjoy once more what I lost

How often do you go to parties? never?...

Do you think you’re ambitious? I know I’m not

What makes you nervous? what doesn’t?...

First mobile phone? grey Siemens

Do you like sharing? sharing what?

What was the last picture you took with your phone? single tiny cloud

If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be? ME

Are you more creative or logical? why can’t I be both?

Would you rather lie or hurt someone with the truth? I don’t know anymore

When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing? sleeping well and having a good dream?

What is the best news you could hear right now? that I have no allergies

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saintanism-archive · 6 years ago

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daaaamn aj, back at it again with the long as fuc headcanons !! anyway hi everyone it’s me this is saint he’s a pretentious fuck & my ( really long, sorry, feel free 2 skip them, there’s a tl;dr summary in my bulletpoints so u can just scroll past it ) headcanons and intro stuff is under the cut !

first headcanon. while most houghton parents are doctors, lawyers, and business executives, saint’s always been something of a horse of a different color. his family certainly isn’t unwealthy—he does, after all, live in one of those multi-million-dollar brownstones in beacon hill auctioned by freaking sotheby’s—but they’re certainly neo riche, which can be sort of hit or miss, depending on who you’re asking. saint is not unlike his parents in that they surround themselves with a kind of off-kilter opulence ( sure, that kind of cash value would have bought them a newly constructed sleek mansion in the suburbs, but why go for something new and modern when you could live in a brownstone with over three hundred years of history that, supposedly, one of the founding fathers lived in? besides, you just can’t beat that location—never mind that the brownstone’s been totally gutted and replaced with sleek, modern interior anyway, and definitely not anything that ben franklin or whoever would have touched ) while pretending to eschew materialism and vanity. why else would they live in boston instead of new york or la, right? anyway. saint is the only son of the one and only cordelia st. mercy ( pronounced, unlike saint’s name, the french way—san merci, which sounds hilariously close to ‘sans merci,’ meaning ‘without mercy,’ a joke that is not lost on saint ), a renowned fashion photographer and portrait artist ( think in the vein of annie liebovitz and arthur elgort ) with a marked celebrity and high art clientele, and also the one and only son of the less elegantly named garrett wallace ( a pen name; his real name is garrett wallerstedt, but his editor and agent agreed that last names that are difficult to pronounce are harder to sell ), whose grisly but artful novels earned him a national book award in 1997, a film deal in 2001 ( the film was a critical and box office success but, in garrett’s opinion, too reductive of his book; ‘pure snuff’ ), and a professorship in the creative writing program at MIT. yes, that MIT, which yes, does have a creative writing program, and yes, it’s a very good one. SO—that’s the pedigree saint mercy-wallace was born into, and it probably explains a whole lot about him. his parents are not and were never married, so he can’t quite say he’s a child of divorce. instead, he spends the school year with his father while his mother travels all over the world, doing her work, though she comes home for holidays and saint’s birthday, and the summers he spends with his mother, dipping his feet into the world of the new york art scene. it was an unusual arrangement, but not a bad one; it was a long time before saint even understood that his family situation was out of the ordinary, but, like, at least he knew both his parents loved him or whatever. they are both pretty emotionally distant and prone to getting caught up in their own work—his father is always focused on teaching or poring over his latest book or invited to give a talk somewhere, for example—but it’s not a bad situation. they’re just more like friends than parents. as a result, saint grew up with a lot of freedom ( more than most of his houghton peers, whose helicopter parents put the weight of the world on their shoulders ) and little discipline, often left to his own devices and trusted with the ability to take care of himself.

second headcanon: ah, yes. the houghton food chain. it’s easy to say saint sits at the dead bottom. like, he’s not even the bugs that get eaten by the birds or whatever. he’s the plant that gets eaten by the bugs. or the soil nutrients that get consumed by the plants—something like that. but the easy answer isn’t necessarily the correct one, and you see, once upon a time, saint sat somewhere near the top. he was never number one, of course, but he was up there, in that little crew of self-proclaimed high school princes and princesses ( quite literally, what with calling themselves windsors and all ). and he fit quite well, all things considered. what, with his pseudo-celebrity family background and his instagram roll full of selfies with models and musicians and actors and that specifically youthful brand of devil-may-care attitude that bordered at times on cruelty—he was a perfect fit for the windsors, his five-story, oft-empty brownstone the perfect venue for their parties and his unconscious need to belong to some kind of family the perfect host for going along with anything that dante and his ilk said. that’s not to make it sound like he was manipulated into it or anything of the sort—he wasn’t. he and dante were good friends—they were all good friends—and like anyone would, saint relished in the perks that came with sitting at the king’s left hand instead of dancing for his entertainment. he was ( and still is ) always the kind of person who gave off an air of not really caring about anything at all, but that’s especially easy when you want for nothing. his life was impossibly easy. too easy, perhaps—exactly what went down that infamous day when saint fell from his high school pedestal remains a mystery. all anyone really knows is this: it was your typical rager at chateau mercy-wallace. the party was going as saint’s parties typically did, so, pretty well, until saint cut the music and ( red-rimmed and wild-eyed, or stinking of about a hundred cigarettes, or with a bloody nose from too many lines of coke, depending on who’s telling the story—it’s morphed a bit over time ) threw everyone out of his house with no explanation. just a party’s over, fuckwads, get outta my house, and some monologue about the bullshit superficiality of high school, of all of them, about how they were all talking in circles and repeating the same lines over and over, but not even their own lines, lines they’d inherited from generations and generations past. it’s equally up for debate whether saint left the windsors or was kicked out, but there’s something of a general consensus that it was in the muddy lines of both. that went down somewhere towards the middle of the end of his junior year. since then? total social pariah. he left behind the lacrosse and soccer teams, opting instead for chain-smoking under the bleachers and cutting class. he’s a mystery, that saint mercy-wallace.

third headcanon: they were friends until they weren’t. they met in middle school and hit it off pretty easily, these two sons of daedalus who feared not the dangers of flying too close to the sun. they were handsome and charming and confident and gifted and the world opened for them—it made it easy to get along. eleven-year-olds didn’t need much by way of substance to start friendships. if you were to ask saint, looking back on it, after that they remained friends out of habit—because they were in the same place at the same time, because they had similar privilege, because they both felt they could do anything and get away with it, because they had similar luxurious sensibilities. it was ( if you ask saint ) what really bonded all of the windsors together more than any other kind of commonality. but, you know. when you wake up—as saint describes it, a waking up—and you look around and you see all this shit you’ve been brainwashed into thinking matters about anything, and you call out the only flimsy common ground you’ve got. well. you’re not going to be friends anymore, are you? after that, saint didn’t harbor any particular resentment towards dante, but he made no attempts to be friendly, often making snide remarks about the absurdity that was the whole premise of the “windsors” and how maybe they all needed to get outside and look at something other than their phones once in a while. he was still fairly shocked and upset by his death—nobody wants anyone to die, old friend slash new enemy or otherwise—but not enough to make a big thing out of it. saint’s had a pretty hard time feeling much of anything these days.

OK THE TL;DR VERSION:

son of a big hotshot fashion/art/celeb photographer ( cordelia aka cordy st. mercy ) and an acclaimed writer, essayist, novelist, thinker, etc ( garrett wallace, who teaches creative writing at MIT )

lives in a big ol brownstone in boston proper, often left to his own devices

his parents are not married to each other so he usually spends the school year w dad and the summer w mom - pls advise if u want some kind of step sibling or “our parents are dating this is terrible!” connection

used to be a windsor ! he was once (in)famously a member of the elite Inner Circle(TM) until he even more infamously had a giant burnout , threw everyone out of his house during a Classic Saint Rager ( he used to be known for throwing parties ), stopped hanging out w the windsors and has been kinda.....weird ever since

i mean don’t get me wrong he was always a pretentious fuck but he used to be better at keeping it inside and like having fun and talking about silly things now he hates talking about basic high school bullshit

his instagram is full of selfies w models and artists and musicians and actors and he only listens to bands you’ve probably never heard of who are “on the up and up”

and also house music and gregorian chants and weird af shit he’s into, like, industrial noise. anyway..........

prides himself on being very fashion forward and forward thinking in general

BIG MESS

literally never says things that aren’t . ridiculous

examples:

“can’t today my existential dread is acting up”

“i only eat squid ink pasta it’s the most melancholy of pasta”

“i can barely navigate the hellish vortex between breakfast and dinner, let alone the labyrinth of the soccer field” ( said when he quit the soccer & lacrosse teams, which he used to play )

does not give a single fuck about anything ever

chainsmokes like u wouldn’t believe catch him on the bleachers during football practice wearing all black and smoking three cigarettes at once it’s disgusting ( lowkey he thinks it looks cool lol what a loser )

reads pretentious af shit like jd salinger and allen ginsburg and the other beats and thinks he’s so edgy. kill him

skips class.....all the time . . . . but has really good grades ? wild

hates everyone and everything that isn’t Elegant

acts like he’s so above all this high school hierarchy nonsense & too cool for it & blah blah but uh

he’s probably just depressed

maybe still gets invited to parties if people forget for a second that he’s a giant fucking weirdo now? but maybe not

i would Love a ferris bueller to his cameron frye but we’ll see

anyway he’s super hard to plot with but you should plot with me anyway

this has been an intro by aj thanks for coming to my ted talk

#houghtonintro

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nicholasrowan · 6 years ago

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Field Guide to NeoPagans (humor)

This has knocked around the net for decades. I did not write it. Posted here for locational purposes. Field Guide to Neo-Paganism Bright-Eyed Novice You just read this cool book about a religion where there’s a Goddess and a God, and they meet outside in nature, instead of some scary old building. They think sex is good not evil, and you want to know where to sign up. Distinguishing Signs: Mispronounces god/dess names, has to think a moment about which is deosil and which is widdershins. Has a shiny new athame (rhymes with “A-frame”.) Grand Old Wo/Man Actually remembers Woodstock (the first one.) Will tell you about the time they dropped acid with Kerry Wendell Thornley - or maybe it was Robert Anton Wilson. Anyway, it was somebody with three names. Or was it three people with one name? Distinguishing Signs: Luxuriant gray locks, listens very intently, knows dish about people you’ve only read about. Tree Hugging Nature Sprite Most prized possession: one of Judi Barry’s old tree spikes. Simultaneously believes in universal love for humanity and returning the planet to a pristine, uncorrupted state. Apt to remove clothes and fondle the shrubbery at a moment’s notice. Can discuss compost in great detail. Distinguishing Signs: No meat, no fragrance, no leather, no plastic, no smoke, no drugs, no eco-exploitive products, no animal tested cosmetics, no TV, no car, but very tolerant. Anal Retentive Ceremonial Book collection actually holds up the ceiling in places. Is studying Greek, Latin and Hebrew all at once. Does “workings” instead of “rituals”. All twenty volumes of their magical diaries are all in Enochian. Distinguishing Signs: Won’t go anywhere without a book. Is constantly aware of which direction is east. Dresses according to planetary conditions, or whatever was on sale at Wal-Mart. Womyncentric Gynocrat A man’s shadow crossed her altar once and she spent three weeks purifying it. She’ll have no wands in her chalice, thank you. No boys allowed in her full-moon club. Can hold forth for hours on the magical properties of menstrual blood. Distinguishing Signs: Tiny axes or curved knives, just right for amputating a penis, are a favored symbol and often hang conveniently from her body parts. When a man approaches she rolls her eyes and stops talking. Sexy Pagan Nymph Oh, they’re so nice! All that warm, round, sex-positive flesh—and you can actually carry on a conversation with them between orgasms... pant, drool... Distinguishing Signs: Cute. Horny. Displays prominent cleavage. Will recite love poetry to you under a full moon. Likes to do it outdoors. Often destitute. All too few of them. Corporate Closet Witch “Hey, boss—I’d like to take February 2nd as a personal day...” Has an entire chapter of their Book Of Shadows concerned with spells for purifying the workplace. Doesn’t mind working on Christmas, especially if there’s overtime involved. Quit being overtly Pagan at work since being canned by that born-again boss, but still refuses to say “Merry Christmas.” Distinguishing Signs: Can assume a properly smiley work persona at the drop of a hat. Constantly glances around the room anxiously looking for co-workers and their spies. Non-distinctive style of dress, no conspicuous tattoos. Childe Ov Kaos Can name seventeen industrial goth bands without pausing to think. Knows what a Prince Albert is. Personally feels that if no panicky headlines appear the day after you do a ritual, you screwed up.  Painted on their jacket, engraved in their flesh and/or boldly displayed as jewelry is an emblem which resembles a combination of corporate logo and arcane symbol. If you don’t know what it means, they’ll think you’re a dweeb. Distinguishing Signs: Easy to picture as an alternative musician or bike messenger, difficult to visualize as a school teacher or research assistant, impossible to imagine as a TV news anchor or bank officer. Always wears black leather, even when sleeping. Pagan Celebrity At conventions, stays on the hotel floor that requires a special key for elevator access. Lurks around knots of conversation eavesdropping in order to see if their name is being mentioned. Arrives in helicopter especially for rituals. Starts every sentence with “I”. If you ask them how it’s going, they hand you a press release. Distinguishing Signs: Always has plenty of books to autograph and will personally sell them to you at a slight discount from cover price. Never seen unaccompanied by beefy Amazonian bodyguards and doe-eyed hangers-on. Seems vaguely afraid of anyone they don’t already know. Scary Devil Worshipper Would never be caught dead skyclad. Rarely smiles, except in a snide, knowing way which insinuates you are an ignorant peasant worthy of conquest. Secretly enjoys Rush Limbaugh and read The Bell Curve with smug satisfaction. Fascinated with Nazis. Probably has never hurt a fly, but they want you to think they’re capable of vast destruction. Distinguishing Signs: Lots of black and red. Men like goatees, women favor heavy black eyeliner. At least one inverted pentagram somewhere on their person. If you see several of them getting tanked in a bar, it would be wise to stay far away. Crowley-In-A-Past-Life Every magical gathering has at least one of these, along with several variants along the lines of Gerald Gardner, Tituba, Morgan LeFey, or somebody who was Atlantean royalty. Many of them were abducted by aliens recently, and have disturbing dreams rich with arcane symbolism that they will tell you all about, in great detail. Distinguishing Signs: Look for the intense gleam in the eyes, the backpack rattling with various psychiatric medications, and the garments that were clearly designed and tailored on another planet. Ravin’ Pagan Young and psychedelic. Can dance non-stop all night. Refuses to do boring Eurocentric rituals and prefers deities from sunny climes with lots of interesting local plants. Can say “Ayahuasca” ten times real fast and deliver long quotes from Terrence McKenna. Distinguishing Signs: Dresses in color combinations that hurt the eyes unless you’ve taken ecstasy. Bloodshot eyes, blissful smile, never goes anywhere without ritual drum. Fairie Queen Is he a she? Is she a he? Are they a couple, or are those two a couple or are all four of them a quadruple? If getting answers to these questions could disturb you, best stay away. If, on the other hand, these kind of questions seem overly judgmental, you might have a real good time... Distinguishing Signs: When you look at this person, does every sex act you’ve ever experienced in your life seem hopelessly vanilla? If so, congratulations -- you’ve found a Fairie! High Episcopagan Do their rituals have a script, a choreographer, a stage manager, an orchestra with chorus and last at least three hours? It’s a High Episcopagan! They can memorize pages and pages of Olde Englishe, have more ritual garbs than most people have socks, and consider their main pagan influences to be Gerald Gardner, Judy Garland and Busby Berkeley. Distinguishing Signs: Book of Shadows exceeds five volumes. Knows every note of “Carmina Burana” Don’t ask them about that 18th century seed pearl trim on their ritual hat unless you’ve got an hour to spare. Fundamentapagan If it’s in a book, it must be true. If it’s in an old book, it must really be true. If it’s in an old book that was handed down from an oral tradition of people who couldn’t read, then it must really be way true. Gnashes their teeth if anyone shows up at a circle wearing a watch, glasses, or other mechanical assistance. Believes that anyone who lives in a city, eats meat or has a regular job dare not call themselves a pagan. Distinguishing Signs: Has hissy fits when somebody brings up the old “Crowley ghosted Gardner’s books” argument. Goes around correcting everyone’s Gaelic, Old Norse, Latin, and Babylonian. Dances With Bunny Rabbits Uses animal symbolism to express nearly all opinions and feelings. Charter member of PETA. Thinks meat eaters should be publicly executed. Has many, many, many pets. Has a spirit animal. Personally owns 927 models, pictures, and other depictions of their spirit animal. Distinguishing Signs: Not counting the Pagan his/herself, how many animals can you see when looking at them? If the count surpasses five (including critters found on tattoos, jewelry, garments and undies), you’ve found a worshipper of beasties. Priest/ess of Political Correctness Analyzes everything they read or hear for sexist-racist-homophobic- imperialist-Eurocentric content without paying attention to what is actually being said. Believes in personal liberty—everyone has the right to be overbearing, dogmatic and holier-than-thou, not just the Xtian Right. Incredibly boring yet annoyingly self-righteous all at the same time. Distinguishing Signs: Beady hyper-alert little eyes are constantly in motion, waiting for someone to do or say something bad. Has loud and attention-attracting hissy fits when confronted with everyday things such as advertising or corporate franchises. Rudimentary sense of humor is rarely activated. Our Lady Of Intense Suffering Is constantly persecuted. You’re probably persecuting her right now, you just don’t realize it. Became a Pagan because she decided it was that most persecuted religion of all. Can’t enjoy anything because it would be selfish to have any fun when so many are suffering. Distinguishing Signs: Tales of woe. Even less of a sense of humor than #17. Bristles when anyone says the words “masochist,” or “whining”. I Am Not Spock (at the moment) Knows at least three filks about Cthulhu and at least forty Star Trek jokes. Has found a clever way to create simple furniture from stacks of science fiction paperbacks. Can name ninety different kinds of spaceship. Distinguishing Signs: Two fisted drinking style. Probably still lives with parents. Many cryptic buttons, badges, patches and other insignia. Too smart for their own good. Het-Case Insist that they aren’t homophobic; they just believe that Paganism is about a Goddess and a God and they do it and what could be more obvious than that? It just doesn’t “work right” if you try any other way! Are secretly afraid that gays and/or lesbians are dying to jump their tender hetro bones. Distinguishing Signs: Living spaces abound with depiction’s of satyrs with enormous genitals and huge-breasted, doe-eyed goddesses. Long manicured nails and wreaths of flowers (on females only — men have big, bushy beards instead.) Norse Code Heroic and Vikingly, these pagans often get into trouble with festival organizers and park rangers due to their fondness for running around with a huge battleaxe in one hand and a full mead horn in the other. They throw the best parties, but if you’re a wimp, you’re expressly not invited. Distinguishing Signs: Look for the large, foreboding, biker-like persons wearing runes, with many pounds of amber dangling from their necks. Pentacles, Inc. Pagans have disposable income too, right? So how come they aren’t buying my hand forged Venus of Willendorf necklaces—they come in silver and gold, and each one has a genuine cubic zirconium belly button. Would you like a reading? Will that be Visa or MasterCard? Distinguishing Signs: Has business cards featuring little embossed pentagrams. You never seen so much Egyptian god/dess jewelry on a human being in your whole life. Lord Fang Glory-Wing "I may look like a normal person, but I’m really a dragon." Defines every action (or inaction) that they take on the basis of what kind of dragon they are. Gets mightily offended anytime someone points out that “don’t dragons usually have wings?” . . . Spends a lot of time off by them self pretending that they’re not trying to breath fire. Can go into great detail about the differences between the dragons found on Pern, Krynn, and Middle-Earth. Can recite to you every paragraph of every page pertaining to their "colour" out of the AD&D Monstrous Manual™. Has a high paying job but lives in virtual poverty because every time the Franklin Mint comes out with a new dragon sculpture they just have to write a check for $800. Distinguishing Signs: Small apartments filled with broken down, garage sale furniture, contrasted with expensive, glass-fronted, internally lit display cases containing their collection of dragon sculptures and toys. This collection can often reach numbers made up of three digits, and if you count in the paintings, posters, books, sheets, and pj’s, another digit can be added. Bad skin and a hair-do that can only be described as "slept on". Dragon Fetish Oooooooh!!!! It’s a DWAGON! How much is it? I’ll find a place for it on my bookshelf, bumper, altar, etc. Don’t you worry! Do you have it in more colors? Distinguishing Signs: Loves dragon anything. Will wax rhapsodic on dragons for hours (and hours and hours)... Most have real cheesy grins, which become very obvious when dragon anything is mentioned in their presence. Nice and weird but very friendly. Judeo-Christopagan Some consider these people to be a contradiction in terms. They believe in a God and a Goddess, but have been going to the local Church (or Synagogue) for so long that they can't give up on it entirely. They know there's "more", but they just can't decide which "more" is for them. Distinguishing Signs: On their altar they have: a Holy Bible, a Pentagram, a Star of David, a statue of Buddha, and even The Book of Mormon (You never know). This way they have all the "bases" covered. They can hold, at length, a conversation about ANY religion in the known world. They place the name of their "primary" religion in front of Witch, e.g., Southern Baptist Witch. I’m a Discord ... Oh, a Golden App .. Fnord! Prone to sudden changes of direction, attitude, emotion, and mentality. Over all the best at laughing at themselves, Discordians are that practical-joker uncle at any family gathering that all of the serious members dread, but whom the children love. Rarely at a loss for something to do or say, regardless of whether or not is appropriate or even has any bearing on the current situation. These followers of the goddess of chaos live what many strive for but will never achieve. Distinguishing Signs: They are usually impossible to quantify, but if you know someone who can never be counted on to do the same thing twice, or to do something different the next time, you may have found a follower of Eris. Owns at least one copy of the Principia Discordia, has it bookmarked on their computer, knows who wrote the forward to each addition, and knows what P.O.E.E. stands for. Discordian Neo-Anarchist Argumentative. Infuriating. Goes on philosophical tangents for hours, only to lead the discussion into obsurdities that make your brain hurt to think about them. Smiles too much. Laughs too much, especially at things that are *NOT* funny. Makes fun of everyone's sacred cows, especially yours. Is iconoclastic to the point of cliche'. Rants and raves about huge conspiracies and secret centuries-old organizations. Distinguishing Signs: Yin/yang pendant with a pentacle and big yellow apple inside. Carries around any books by Douglas Adams or Robert Anton Wilson. Refuses to take themselves - or anyone else - seriously. Monster Truck Pagan Can grow their own food, build their own house, sew their own clothes homeschool their children and brew their own organic hooch. Are looking forward to the bleak, post-apocalyptic world postulated by the environmentalists as they can't wait to run amok through the country, worshiping ancient gods, blowing up strip malls and rutting on the divider line of every interstate. You may be a monster-truck pagan if your anointing oil is 30 weight.You may be a monster truck pagan if cakes & wine means tailgate party.You may be a monster truck pagan if Autumn is the Burning Time. Distinguishing Signs: Resourceful, clever and very well versed in the U. S. Constitution. Eats meat with visible twitches of pleasure. Is aware that primitive religions have nothing to do with crystals, Atlantis or unicorns. Bubba Witch Can typically be found wandering the country roads, bare foot and in jean suspenders. When they pass a person in their town it is always their cousin. Their idea of a circle chant is hooting and hollering at barn yard hoedowns! If they ain't makin' a rukus in town, their off chasm' 'coons through the woods, making more noise than their 13 hunting hounds! "Yeah, maybe ah shuld ave 12 dawgs 'n me ta make a propa cercle, but ah unly gots 10 fingas! How ya 'spect me ta count ta 13? gonna let me borra' youz fingas?" [draws his trusty dagger, he and ol' yeller circling for the kill] Distinguishing Signs: Straw protruding from clothes and hair like additional appendages. We won't even ask what they were doing in the hay loft to get all messy like that! Their pickup truck gas caps are replaced with a nifty black cloth with a white pentacle on it, or is that a white hood with a black pentacle? In any case, they are never without baccy-blackened gums (the teeth fell out long ago) and always have at least one spit cup on their person. Ninja Witch These night-clad Pagans are amusing from a distance only. They sneak through the shadows of streets pretending they can't be seen by everyone and trying to ignore the car lights and strange looks everyone gives them. The looks are merely coincidental of course "I'm the mighty invisible ninja, noone can see me!" They ain't too funny when you do actively point them out, they're Hilarious. They usually react by making all kinds of funny squeeky sounds and trying to stick their foot in their mouth, or is it supposed to be your mouth? Distinguishing Signs: Always in a baggy ninja jump suit and carrying one of those dangerous plastic Katanas the kids buy at K-Mart for Halloween. Pentagram throwing stars and an adorable lil' red pentacle on their hood. Supposed to make 'em seem dangerous! ooohhh... scary. Otaku Pagan (sub-titled) Has an equal amount of Japanese Manga as books on Paganism, sometimes more. Often dresses up as their favorite anime character. Often cannot sit still for five minutes without frolicking. Their God is a warrior God named Hitokiri Battousai and their Goddess is Belldandy. Distinguishing Signs: Their ritual garb looks too much like a Shinto robe or a kimono. Their BoS is written in Japanese. They often put Japanese slang in to convey emotions. When they get confused they say "Oro?" Their ritual sword is a katana or another Japanese blade. They call raising energy raising your ki level. Otaku Pagan (dubbed) Has more Sailor Moon or Dragonball stuff than possibly imaginable. Cannot take a single thing seriously. Even more frolicky than a sub-titled Otaku. Probably wanted to get into Paganism because s/he wanted to be a "magical-girl." Doesn't know a thing about Japanese culture. Thinks all anime is like Sailor Moon (and gets really shocked when they rent "NinjaScroll...".) Distinguishing signs: Freaks out when "skyclad" is even mentioned (A sub-titled Otaku wouldn't even care). Often jokingly calls you a "meatball head" if you insult them. Their ritual wand is pink with a crescent moon on the end and during ritual they shout "moon healing, escalation!" Quotes Sailor Moon and Dragonball every chance they get. TechnoPagan Often found discussing the best method of removing hot wax from keyboards. Seems unaccustomed to sunlight. Have had coven-mates for years whom they have never seen face to face, much less know which continent they live on. Distinguishing Signs: Casts circle with #5 torx driver. Chalice contains Jolt. BoS is writtin in Perl. Refers to eclectic ritual as "cross-platforming." Thinks "naked in your rites" means a non-GUI environment

#pagan #humor

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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 8 years ago

Text

The Misadventures of Prince Kim - chapter 14

(aka the royalty AU story)

Not sure how I’ve managed to keep up with this for two whole weeks in a row so far...

[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13] [AO3]

It was the start of the winter holidays, and most of the students would be going home to their families for these few weeks while the school was shut for renovations and upkeeping. Kim had been asked by his parents to come back home, but he instead wrote them a quick letter informing them that he would be going to stay with Max instead, and left before he could receive a reply. He knew they wouldn’t be happy, but so what? As a prince, surely it was his duty to visit other countries and learn about new places, getting to know other leaders in the meantime!

The journey to Kanté only took two days, unlike the slow week’s travel time it took to get to Lê Chiến. First there was a short trip on an ocean liner, then an overnight maglev train. It was the smoothest kind of train Kim had ever been on in his life.

“Maglev stands for magnetic levitation,” Max informed him while Kim was looking around the sparkly clean insides of the train in wonder. “The train is actually suspended slightly above the tracks using magnetic repulsion, leading to less friction and therefore much faster speeds and smoother travel.”

“Wait a second – do you mean to tell me this train is flying?”

“Well, hovering, yes.”

“That is the coolest thing ever! We need these cool train things in my kingdom too!” Kim ran up to the window and pressed his face against it, looking at the blur of green and yellow outside, passing by too quickly to focus on properly. “How fast are we even going?”

“300 km/h, though there are trains that have exceeded those speeds before.”

“Do you think it’s possible for a human to run that fast too? If they practised really, really hard?”

Max laughed. “Definitely not, Kim, though I know you can certainly run very fast by human standards.”

Reaching the capital city the next morning, Kim was first of all stunned at how tall the buildings were. Not only that, but they seemed to be made out of all sorts of shiny metals and glass, giving a very unique and unconventionally beautiful skyline.

As the train slowed down and made its way through the vast city on little suspended monorails, Kim was able to see that these were not the only types of buildings. There were smaller ones with beautiful architecture, painted in bright colours with mosaic patterns all over them. Max pointed them out and talked about them as they passed.

“That one is the Kubdel Embassy, it has a very stylistic design. That one over there is the National Theatre House, where you can see all sorts of traditional plays and shows. On your left you’ll see the Museum of Modern Art, it’s a very interesting place though I feel like you’re not the sort of person who would be enthusiastic about going there…”

Kim looked down at the street below, which the monorail tracks towered over like a long bridge, and saw that there were cars. Endless rows of cars, in all sorts of bright colours, and people walking around in bright, clear, patterned clothing. He had never seen anything like it. A group of small children looked up at the train and waved, so Kim happily waved back.

“Dude, your kingdom is awesome,” he said to Max. “Like, it’s actually the coolest place I’ve been to, and I thought Bourgeois was nice.”

“You’ve barely even seen this place yet!”

“But it’s so futuristic! You’ve got all these huge skyscrapers, and these magic flying trains, and so many cars there’s traffic, and a city this big it would take days to walk around, and…”

“If you think this is advanced, wait until you see Alix’s kingdom. They’ve got plants growing up the sides of their skyscrapers there. Which is impressive considering that most of her kingdom is desert.”

“You two are the luckiest ever.”

“Not necessarily, I mean, everyone’s kingdom has something special about it. I’m sure your kingdom is a lovely place too. You just like it here because it’s different.”

“Nah, it’s not just that. It looks so… you know, clean. Organized. Like a really nice place to live. Whereas sometimes back home when I’m travelling around by horse carriage I see places that don’t look so good, like I wouldn’t want to live there if my life depended on it. And I want to do something about it, because everyone deserves to live in a cool place like this country.”

“Yes, everyone deserves a nice place to live. Unfortunately this kingdom isn’t without its problems too. Poverty exists everywhere, though we can do our best to help lift as many people out of it as possible. Crime exists everywhere too, and all we can do is try to stop it and prevent it.”

“You seem to be doing a much better job than most other places I’ve been to. Everyone here looks rich.”

“Well, I suppose the city is quite affluent, though I’d say the vast majority of the population are just middle-class…”

The train pulled into the station and slowed to a halt. Kim and Max were ushered down a long red carpet from the train to a waiting vehicle, while porters carried their luggage for them.

“This is such a cool car,” Kim muttered in awe as the chauffeur opened the back door to let them in.

“It’s a limousine, or limo for short,” Max said. “They’re longer than usual cars. As royalty, we get to ride in these by default.”

“Whoa… neat…”

The ride from the station to the palace was fairly short. Stepping out of the limo and into proper daylight, Kim realized that the temperature here was incredibly warm for December, despite being well into the northern hemisphere. He rolled up his sleeves, regretting packing a lot of warm clothes. He wouldn’t need them.

The palace itself was big and painted mostly white to keep it as cool as possible, and the inside was huge and filled with marble pillars, with tiled marble flooring everywhere too. Kim was immediately introduced to Max’s family (who he had met a few times before), then shown to the guest quarters where he would be staying.

Wow… not only did this big, airy room have a brilliant view overlooking this incredible city, but it had an electric ceiling fan. An actual, adjustable, spinning fan that could be controlled by a dial on the wall. Kim spent at least 15 minutes playing around with it, watching as the blades moved quicker and quicker until they were an undistinguishable blur.

Wait, there was a microwave oven in here too??? He had only ever seen pictures of those! He pulled a half-melted chocolate bar out of his pocket, put it in, then closed the door and pressed a few numbers. It started making a whirring noise, and after some seconds it beeped. Opening the microwave door again, the chocolate bar was now a sticky puddle. How awesome!

Over the next few days, it was like living a dream. Max showed Kim all sorts of incredible things that could be seen in this kingdom – electric refrigerators and freezers, sunglasses, clothes made from a strange material called “nylon” (which was somehow a type of plastic, supposedly), and of course, helicopters. There was a helicopter pad on the roof and Max took Kim up to show him this magnificent machine, though they weren’t permitted to fly in it.

It wasn’t just all the modern inventions that made this country interesting. Max also made sure to take Kim sightseeing, though with an armed guard to keep an eye on them and make sure the paparazzi and fans didn’t get too close.

The city had some of the most splendid architecture Kim had ever seen. Many of the more historic buildings, especially the mosques and other places of worship, were so stunning that Kim was tempted to spend all his money on a camera just so he could take pictures of everything and remember it forever. Not just any camera either, but a colour camera, since everything here was so colourful, especially the beautiful robes most people wore.

Max explained while showing Kim around that although most people here spoke French, there were so many other languages spoken too that most people knew at least two or three different ones quite fluently. He also told Kim about how most of this country was either arid or semi-arid, but the rainier areas to the south were used to grow cotton and collect water, while the other areas focused more on scientific research and technology advancements, often collaborating on projects with Kubdel to the northeast.

A few days into the holiday, when Kim was finally getting used to being here, Max sent for him to be woken up fairly early.

“I have a surprise for you today,” he said, as a butler led them to the limousine. “You’ll get to see something really, really cool today.”

“What is it?”

“If I told you then it wouldn’t be a surprise!”

Kim watched out of the tinted windows as the limo set off. They seemed to be heading away from the city, as there were fewer buildings around here and the roads were wide with cars going at high speeds over multiple lanes.

He observed the signs on the sides of the road, and… wait a second, did that one say “airport”?

“You’re taking me to the airport!” Kim gasped. “Oh my gosh, you’re gonna show me what real aeroplanes look like!”

“Yep, that’s it,” Max said, grinning. “You’ll get to see them taking off and landing and I could even show you inside one if you want. And there’s another surprise in store too.”

“I can’t wait!” Kim could barely sit still anymore, bouncing around on his seat and fiddling with the seat belt impatiently.

They arrived at the airport and were immediately taken to the VIP lounge, where there were comfy sofas and a big bar to get drinks and snacks from. Kim, however, ran straight over to the window and stared out of it in amazement.

Those were planes. Those were real planes, right there, parked outside, the ones that flew through the sky like birds. They were huge, way bigger than he had imagined. They had big noses and wings and tails, and hundreds of little round windows dotted across the side, and colourful logos painted onto them…

He watched as one of the planes on a distant runway suddenly accelerated forwards, going faster and faster, tilting upwards slightly, until –

“Max! Max look! That one over there! It just started flying! It’s actually flying oh my gosh –”

“Magical, isn’t it?” Max said, coming to stand beside Kim.

“Yeah! It didn’t even need to flap its wings or anything, it just went WHOOSH and then zoom and then… MAX THAT ONE OVER THERE IS LANDING, ARE YOU SEEING THIS, IT’S LANDING ON TINY WHEELS –”

He couldn’t even express in words how incredible it was. These huge, bulky machines, could actually carry people through the sky! Wasn’t that just the most amazing thing ever? He could stand here for hours, his breath misting up the window, watching the planes going up and down the runway, defying gravity in the most magnificent way possible…

Not too long later, Max tapped him on the shoulder saying, “It’s time for the other surprise now. And, I guess, if you want to see the inside of a plane – a private jet, to be precise – you’ll get a chance to, since it’s just landed.”

“That would be awesome.”

Kim and Max followed one of the airport staff members down a few corridors and then outside. There was a smaller plane here now, with the side of it opened up to reveal cargo crates that were being carried out and put onto transport wagons by staff members.

A portable set of steps had been wheeled over to the door of the plane, providing a pathway to the ground. The door opened and out walked Pharaoh Alix and her pet snake. She quickly waved at Kim and Max and then ran down the steps to see them.

“What are you doing here?” Kim spluttered, suddenly wondering if his hair was okay, was he wearing something sensible, did he have any spots, oh wait of course she wouldn’t care about any of that, but still…

“I flew over with a trade shipment!” she said. “I’m always doing that, I love planes and it means I get to meet up with Max. And you too, this time.”

“Good to see you, Alix!” Max said. “Is your brother here too?”

“Yeah, he fell asleep even though it was only about an hour flight. It takes him like a year to wake up. I mean same, but like, how can you fall asleep on a one hour plane journey?”

Sure enough, Alix’s older brother was just exiting the plane and walking down the steps. He had plastic glasses too, just like Max, and for some reason was wearing a scarf despite the heat.

“This is Jalil,” Alix said. “And Jalil, this is Kim. Kim the Second, I mean.”

“Oh yes,” Jalil muttered, “the one who lost the race.”

“Oh come on, that was ages ago! Give him a break… Anyway Kim, have you ever seen the inside of a plane before?”

Kim shook his head. “Never even seen one in person before today.”

“Seriously?” said Jalil. “Wow Alix, you were right, they are really backwards…”

Alix elbowed him. “Shush, be nice to my best friend!” She started climbing back up the stairs. “Come on, Kim! Take a look at our private jet! Not that all planes look like this on the inside, but the good ones do at least.”

Kim followed her up the steps and into the plane. The inside looked like a modern lounge, with comfortable seats and tables that could be pulled out or stowed away. There were cabinets overhead to store things in and some kind of music was playing, though Kim couldn’t figure out where from. There must be speakers hidden away somewhere.

“Whoa, this is so cool!” he said, looking around at everything. “And what does it feel like when the plane is actually flying? Does it feel like you’re going really fast?”

“Nah, it just feels like normal,” Alix replied. “Unless you get turbulence and it’s a bumpy journey, but otherwise you forget you’re even on a plane.”

“Turbulence?”

“Yeah, like when you’re flying over mountains and stuff and the air is weird and it makes the plane ride bumpy… I don’t know the science, ask Max about that. Or Jalil, he’s an absolute nerd, by the way.”

Kim was barely listening, too busy messing around with the reclining settings on the chair. “Oh yeah, okay. Hey, what sort of trade shipment things were you transporting?”

“Just raw materials this time, nothing too interesting. The good stuff usually goes by train. Speaking of good stuff, they’re working on getting actual televisions installed on aeroplanes next so you can watch movies while you’re flying!”

“What? That’s so cool, and also so unfair.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll get televisions to the rest of the world someday too, okay?”

“I hope so…”

Once Kim had finished having a good look around the plane, they went back outside. Alix and Jalil were accompanying them back to the palace for lunch, and leaving to go back home later on in the day. The limousine was easily big enough to fit them all for the ride back to the city.

“So, do you think you ever want to fly in a plane someday?” Max asked Kim.

“Heck yeah! It looks so fun! When will I get to do that?”

“You could always come to visit my kingdom next holiday, you’ll get to fly in a plane then,” Alix said. “I usually just take the ocean liner from Bourgeois to the northern port and then catch a short flight from there back to where my palace is. If you came along I could show you.”

“Wait, you mean in the spring holidays? Stay? With you?”

“Yeah, if you don’t have to go back home, that is.”

Kim tried not to read too much into that. She was asking him to stay with her for the holidays, it totally wasn’t like that meant anything, of course…

He put on his most casual tone and said, “Sure, that might be, like, a cool idea or something, I guess… whatever…”

“Awesome!”

“Not awesome,” Jalil corrected. “Do you really think dad’s going to be okay with you randomly inviting a friend over for several weeks? He barely let Max stay for two days that one time, remember?”

“It’s fine, he’s warming up to Max so he’ll warm up to Kim too. And plus, that last time was before I was crowned pharaoh. Now I’m in charge so I can do whatever I want.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“Yeah, but I like to pretend it’s true.”

“Are you annoyed that the throne went to your little sister instead of you?” Kim asked Jalil suddenly, but then regretted it the second he’d said it. How tactless was it to ask something like that? Ugh, why did his brain just not work whenever Alix was around?

Luckily Jalil did not seem annoyed at the question. “No, it’s better like this. Ruling a country is a stressful job. At least this way I can choose to pursue careers I’m actually interested in instead. Like studying ancient history.”

Ah, yes. That did sound nerdy. Was that why Alix always got along so well with Max? Did he remind her of her brother somehow? That would explain things.

It was already lunchtime when they reached the palace, so they had lunch together, and then it was time for Alix and Jalil to go back to the airport to catch their flight. Apparently the planes all ran on strict schedules and if someone didn’t turn up in time, they would simply miss the flight. Of course, since Alix and Jalil were royalty their flight would just end up delayed if they weren’t there on time, but it was better not to let that happen or it would mess up the timetable completely. And there was always the possibility of getting caught in traffic in a kingdom like this. It was better to leave early rather than late.

“It was nice to meet you,” Jalil said to Kim. “I guess if you’re coming to stay in spring then I’ll see you then.”

“Yeah, nice to meet you too,” Kim said, though Jalil was already walking off out of the room.

“See you at school, Kim!” Alix gave him a light punch on the arm (or rather, she thought it had been light – it actually did hurt, though Kim would never admit that) and started to leave too.

Kim suddenly remembered something. Was anyone else in here? No, it was just the two of them… well, and that snake on her arm, but Kim the First didn’t seem so scary these days…

“Alix, wait a second,” he said, taking her hand and trying to ignore how flustered he suddenly felt. “I just remembered, um… well you told me to remind you, so… Wait, you don’t still have a cold, do you?”

“Nope.”

“Okay good… so um, remember at the winter party? When there was that mistletoe, and you were ill so we didn’t kiss? I mean, since there’s no one else around I guess we could just do that now… if you want…”

She looked up at him, frowning. Kim started wondering if he had been too obvious that he liked her. What if she was annoyed or something? What could she possibly be thinking about?

“You’re too tall,” she said finally.

Oh, was that it? That wasn’t a big deal, Ivan and Mylène had a height difference too. “I could just–”

Before he could even react, she had somehow hooked her foot round and tripped him over backwards, catching him just before he landed on the floor.

“There we go, that’s better. Now I get to be the tall one for once.”

Kim lay perfectly still, barely even daring to breathe. She was literally holding him in her arms, her face barely a few inches above his own, strands of her pink fringe dangling over his forehead…

She leaned down to kiss him –

– and promptly dropped him just a millimetre away.

“Hey, what was that for?” Kim said, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head where it hit the floor. But then he heard footsteps. Oh, no wonder she had suddenly stopped, but come on! Did someone really have to come along and ruin this right now?

It was Jalil. He popped his head around the door and said, “Come on Alix, what are you waiting for? We have a flight to catch!”

“Yeah, I know, sorry,” she said quickly. “I was just, uh… fighting Kim. And I totally won.”

“That’s not true!” Kim said, jumping to his feet.

“Anyway Kim I’ve really gotta go now so goodbye, I’ll see you at school, just remind me about that other thing some other time, okay?”

“Okay…”

She hurried out of the room and Jalil closed the door.

Kim sighed. He had been so close. He was so sure it was going to happen that time. But still, he just couldn’t figure out her opinion on all this. Did she even want to kiss him? She didn’t exactly seem enthusiastic, but she didn’t seem annoyed either, just… apathetic. Almost as if she didn’t even care one way or another. But how?

He was still thinking about it when Max came to visit him in his room later.

“Max, I was this close to kissing her,” Kim said straightaway, holding his fingers up just a tiny bit apart. “But then her brother interrupted us, so she had to leave…” He lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling fan. “Maybe this was what Master Fu meant when he told me not to get my hopes up. That it’ll take a hundred years for it to finally happen.”

Max sat down on the bed beside him. “Kim… why don’t you just tell her how you feel? Ask her out?”

“I still don’t really feel like asking anyone out, Max. Not after Chloé. And anyway, it’s okay, Alix is my friend and I like it that way. I don’t mind. I’m just glad she likes hanging out with me.”

“Trust me, I can definitely understand that feeling,” Max said, chuckling a little. “That’s fair enough. Anyway, I was going to ask… do you want to go bowling? We have plastic skittles.”

“Plastic skittles!” Kim sat up so fast the blood rushed out of his head. “Yes please, that sounds so awesome!”

“Alright then, let’s go!”

#royalty au #i'm sorry this entire story so far has been one long geography lesson hasn't it #anyway listen. heartrate is still a good ship and i still like it #so don't think this is over yet #miraculous ladybug #le chien kim #max kante #alix kubdel #random stuff #the misadventures of prince kim #aish writes

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hrhduchessoflancaster · 6 years ago

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Chapter Eighty-Seven: Blessing Upon Thee

A/N: Thank you for all your comments and likes! And I apologise for taking so long to update. With my thesis to write and research going on, I had barely had time to focus on anything else. Also, there’s a bit of NSFW in this chapter so be cautious. xx Bea

Disclaimer: see Prologue

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With Trooping the Colour out the way, the Sussexes and their family, could focus on their main event for the Summer: Arthur’s christening. The date was set for the 23rd of June, at St George’s Chapel, where Harry had been baptised. Prince Seeiso of Lesotho, Princess Eugenie, the Marquess of Lorne, and Mary Collins would serve as godparents. The venue had been decorated with lilies and daisies, a choir would sing Be thou my vision and Bread of Heaven, the latter which was sung at Elle and Harry’s wedding. As per tradition, Arthur would wear the replica of the christening gown worn by all royal children since Queen Victoria’s, the same worn by his cousins George and Charlotte. The family and their guests, which were more or less than twenty, would stay at Windsor Castle for the ceremony and reception.

Elle’s parent’s were thrilled and made a point to contribute with the celebration, bringing a piece of their own tradition to the christening, which she and Harry were more than happy to oblige. First there was the silver coin that would be given to baby Arthur for luck, and a tiny red ribbon would be tied to his wrist to protect him against evil.

“ We have to make some Christening Pieces for the guests.", said Victoria. A Christening Piece was an old Scottish tradition to offer sweets, generally in the form of cake or biscuits, along with a bit of money, to the guests after the christening ceremony. Elle gladly delegated that task to her mother, her aunt Ava, and Valerie. Meanwhile, she and Harry would sign all the invitations and give them to Ronald in order to send them to the guests. The godparents were already alerted of the date, of course, but there were some other family members who needed to me reminded of it.

But before they could go to Windsor and have the beautiful service she had envisioned, Elle and Harry had a joint engagement on their hands. They would be travelling to Edinburgh, for her first visit to the Royal Botanic Garden. Since their wedding, she had tried her hardest to get involved as much as she could with her charities. But when Elle became pregnant and after Arthur’s birth, the pace of things had to be slowed down due to the baby. Entrusting Rupert and Victoria to care for their grandchild while they travelled, the couple took the Royal helicopter, flew by Hector’s familiar face to Edinburgh. This would be the first time both of them would be staying at Hollyhood Palace and also their first time away from Arthur since his birth.

“ I know it’s just for a day, but it’s so hard to leave him behind. He’s still so tiny.”, said Elle, holding back tears as they boarded the helicopter on Kensington Palace’s lawn.

Harry smiled at her and held her close to him, squeezing her tightly and nodded his head. “ I know, love. We’ve barely even left and I already can’t wait to come back to him., he told her as they sat side by side.

“ And Sir Lancelot.”, she added smiling. Chuckling, he agreed with her. “ Yes, and Sir Lancelot.” Soon, they were flying over London on their way to Scotland, leaving their most treasured possession behind.

************

Meanwhile, another meeting was set between the Queen, her Privy Council and the Prime Minister to discuss the order of Succession. Harry had yet to made aware of such changes into the line. But Elizabeth had planned a meeting with him and Eleanor for as soon as they have returned from Scotland. Things needed to be solved and they needed to be solved quickly.

“ Thank you all for coming to this extraordinary meeting today. The issue at hand is the removal of Prince William, Duke of Cambridge and his heirs from the line of Succession of the United Kingdom. This issue has been previously discussed between all parties involved and has come to the attention of this Privy Council for approval and petition for effectiveness as soon as possible, per the Duke’s request.”, said the Prime Minister.

“ Thank you, Mr. Simmons.”, said the Queen. “ As you are all aware, my grandson, Prince William, has wished to leave the line of succession, something that hasn’t been done before. We, upon reflexion and much consideration, understand his reasons and have decided to grant that he wishes. And, although he, his wife and heirs shall still retain their titles and styles, they shall henceforth be removed from the succession of our United Kingdom of Great Britain, Northern Ireland and overseas territories. Therefore, the line will continue after the Prince of Wales, with his second heir Prince Henry, Duke of Sussex and his heirs.”, said the Queen, reading from the same a draft of the document who would be signed by all members of the Privy Council. And that, of course, included Harry. Until he returned, the final draft of the document would have to wait.

“ All those in agreement, say ‘aye’.”, said the Prime Minister. A resolute chorus of ‘I’s’ answered the question and the meeting was concluded. The only thing left to do to actually ratify the document was Harry’s consent and signature.

************

At the Royal Botanic Garden, Harry and Elle were met with great cheers from the crowd that was waiting for them. At the entrance, Elle was given a posy of thistles, Scotland’s national flower, by a very shy young boy. She knelled down close to him and smiled sweetly at him, whose cheeks turned a little red.

“ What’s your name, sweetie?”, she asked. Looking at his shoes, he quietly replied:

“ Jonathan.”. She smiled at him and thanked him by shaking his hand. She and Harry were led by a group of botanists and florists around the garden and were shown different flowers and native plants from Scotland and a few other places around the British isles, as well as some foreign ones.

“ And this, is the new variety of Mountain Avens which have been named the Eleanor in your honour, Your Royal Highness.”, said one of the botanists. Elle smiled and posed beside the white and yellow flower, taking her time to admire the different shades in its petals.

“ That about a flower named after me?”, joked Harry and the group laughed.

The took around half an hour to visit the entire garden, finally finishing at the entrance where Elle prepared to give a speech.

“ Thank you to the Royal Botanic Garden Edinburgh for having us here today. It’s a privilege to be able to witness the magnitude of the work done by all of you; from the gardeners to the botanists and scientists. My husband and I are thrilled to be see first hand how much effort and care is put into conservation and restoration of the natural floral of Scotland. A true gift not only to this nation but to the entire British Isles. Thank you.”, she said, finishing her speech. After the applauses and posed pictures, she unveiled a plaque in commemoration of their visit. Hand in hand, they waved their goodbyes to the public and made their way back to Hollyhood Palace.

With a free day to kill before they returned to Arthur, Lancelot and their lives in London, Harry and Elle explored a little of the surroundings. They actually took the time to go about the gardens and the ruins of the ancient chapel that once stood beside the palace. With Leo and Ingrid on their tails, they went about Edinburgh with little to no recognition, which was a breath of fresh air to them both. Once back in the castle, Elle drew herself a relaxing, lukewarm bath, dropped a bath bomb in it and set there, quietly enjoying the feeling of the water on her skin. As she started to doze off, she felt the water stir and was hastily awaken by Harry, who was splashing water everywhere trying to get into the tub as well.

“ Didn’t even bother to invite me, love? How rude…”, he said smirking, sitting close to her, their legs intertwined. Elle chuckled and leaned forward, kissing his cheek, gently caressing his face, soaping it with foamy water. She felt his hands on her waist, pulling her closer to him and she let Harry guide her to his lap. His lips ferociously attacked her neck, making her moan as her fingers roamed across his hair, neck and back, leaving faint red lines. He then lowered one of his hands to her inner thigh and slowly traced patterned over her skin, inching closer and closer to her core, teasing her to no end. His fingers were firm and dextrous, knowing exactly how to please her. She moaned in his ear, throwing her head back as he continued to kiss her neck.

“ Good, love?”, he asked ruskily. Her reply was another moan, followed by a series of passionate kisses that left him out of breath. Harry’s movement’s became more urgent only to stop when she was so close to the edge. Elle let out a whimper of discontent which made him smirk and gently press himself further against her. She gasped as he filled her, completely taken by the waves of pleasure she was feeling.

Their movements alternated from fast to slow, loving and raw… a rhythm they had long developed. Their swear mixed with the water as they climaxed over and over again. They stayed in the tub until the water ran cold, tangled in each other’s arms. Having the luxury of being away from their newborn gave them time to actually enjoy each other’s company, a much needed rest from the parenting they were still getting used to.

They barely had time to touch base in London before they had to leave for Windsor. Arthur’s christening was a few days away and the final preparations were at full speed. Family and guests had arrived and where received by the Queen, Prince Philip and the royal couple in question. Seeiso and Mabereng were thrilled to get to see the new addition to the family.

“ Oh he’s so precious!”, said Mabereng, as Arthur was passed from his mother’s arms to her awaiting ones.

“ And look at that patch of ginger hair… it’s obviously your child, my friend.”, said Seeiso to Harry, who chuckled.

“ Hey! I’ll have you know that his particular shade of ginger comes from my head, thank you very much.”, said Elle, making the men laugh.

“ Fair enough, point taken dear Eleanor. By the way, how’s being a mother treating you?”, he asked her, sitting beside his wife and gently brushing Arthur’s head. He had fallen asleep on Mabereng’s arms and was cutely making faces as he dreamed. Smiling to her infant son, she said:

“ It’s no easy I’ll tell you that. But it’s been so good, so rewarding. When I get to hold him, having his skin on mine and he’s cosy and warm against me. Or when he gives me that toothless smile and I know he recognises who I am… it’s so pure. It’s much more love than I thought I’d be able to feel.”

“ That’s about right…”, said Mabereng in agreement.

“ And you my friend? Is fatherhood all you dreamed of?”, asked Seeiso to Harry. Looking at Elle, they shared a smile and he nodded his head.

“ That and so much more…”, he said. “Specially when you share it with the right person.”, he continued, taking Elle’s hand into his.

“ So, worth the wait I take it?”, asked Seeiso.

“ So worth it.”, Harry replied, planting a kiss on Elle’s cheek.

************

The press was invited inside the grounds of Windsor Castle as well as part of the public. The barrier surrounding the Chapel of St. George was full of people carrying cameras, signs, toys and flowers. The guests were the first to arrive: Richard and Mary with little Rose; Eugenie and Jack, Beatrice and Prince Andrew, Sarah Chatto, her husband and children; Seeiso and Mabereng, Elle’s cousin, Michael, the Marquess of Lorne, her aunt, uncle and cousin from Scotland; Valerie and Elle’s brother, James; her parent’s; Charles and Camilla; William, Kate and the children, and then Queen and Prince Philip.

Finally, Elle and Harry came out of the Castle, with her carrying baby Arthur, who was dressed in the iconic christening gown, in her arms while he supported her by the waist as they walked down the path to the church. Dressed in a … dress with a matching fascinator, they stopped at the side entrance and greeted Elizabeth and Philip first, proceeded by the Archbishop of Canterbury. As the senior royals took their place inside the chapel, Elle and Harry waited with the Dean of St. George’s Chapel to begin their procession, along with the godparents.

Much like they had done at Rose’s christening, they walked in first towards the altar, carrying baby Arthur, while the godparents followed behind them. Elle then passed the baby to Mary, while Eugenie held the towel to dry the baby’s head.

“ Your Majesty, Your Royals Highnesses, Your Graces, ladies and gentlemen… Parents and Godparents, the Church receives this child with much joy. Today we are trusting God for his growth in faith. Will you pray for him, draw him by your example into the community of faith and walk with him in the way of Christ?”, asked the Archbishop.

“ With the help of God, we will.”, they replied in unison. The Archbishop lit a large candle and the service proceeded with prayers and blessings. They all gathered around the baptism fountain Seeiso then poured the water into it. Much like in Charlotte’s christening, the objects and regalia used in the royal ceremony were taken from the Tower of London and carefully transported to Windsor. The water itself, also like in every royal christening, came from the River Jordan. Mary then leaned Arthur forward, so the Archbishop could then pour the water over his head. The baby fussed a little but was soon soothed by the warm water.

“ Arthur Frederick David James, I baptise you in the name of Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”, he said. Eugenie then carefully dried Arthur’s head with the towel while he cuddled closer to Mary. It was then Michael’s turn to lit the christening candle; the flame itself coming from the larger one.

“… shine as a light in the world to the glory of God.”, said the Archbishop, and thus the ceremony was complete. There were a few readings and hymns were sung. Family members and guests smiled and cried of joy as baby Arthur let out a giggle as he was returned to his mother’s arms. The bells rang loudly outside and you could hear the cheer of the public as little by little the royals and guests exited the church. At the very end came Elle and Harry, who was now carrying baby Arthur in his arms. Both smiling from ear to ear. Photos were taken as they made the walk back to the Castle for much needed food and refreshments.

But before they could actually dig in the said goodies, photos would have to be taken. So the couple posed with their family first, then with the baby’s godparents and finally just them and Arthur. Mario Testino was hired to take the christening pictures and for the ones with just the little family, they took things outside. In the quadrant courtyard the couple sat together on a wooden bench beneath a majesty oak tree and things just went naturally from there. The smiles and looks, Arthur’s little hands reaching for his parent’s, Elle and Harry’s heads close to one another as they watched Arthur babble. Very sweet and touching moments that would be recorded on their mind and on paper forever.

Once back inside, as per tradition, a piece of their wedding cake which had been frozen, was served to the guests, along with cordials, and heavier drinks such as whisky and brandy. Arthur enjoyed being coddle up and spoiled by his godparents as well as all the other guests who wanted to hold him and gift him something. George and Charlotte kissed and caressed their baby cousin’s head but soon were too bored and decided to play around the room. Valerie, who had the turn of holding Arthur made silly faces which made him giggle in return.

“ That’s such a sweet sound… I can listen to it all day long.”, she said to the beaming parents.

“ So when it’s the next one?”, asked James, winking.

“ Slow down there, James. I’ve just had this one. Let’s revisit this chat in a few years ok?”, said Elle, shaking her head.

“ A few years? I don’t think Harry there will be able to wait that long.”, joked James, smirking at his brother-in-law.

“ I think he can. And he will.”, replied Elle, now also looking at her husband, raising one eyebrow.

“ Whatever you say, little sister. But we all know you’ll have another one soon enough. You both want it… and we everybody knows that.”, retorted James.

“ We’ll see about that.”, said Elle humphing. Valerie chuckled and agreed with James, while Harry shook his head and planted a kiss on her temple. He then noticed Charles coming in his direction with a serious look on his face.

“ Harry, Eleanor dear, may I talk to you for a moment?”, he asked in almost a whisper. The couple looked at each other and nodded their heads, quickly excusing themselves from their small group. No one seemed to bother or notice the look on Charles’ face.

Elle and Harry then followed Charles to the Green Drawing Room, where Elizabeth, William and Kate were waiting for them. The couple looked a little surprised and suspicious at the odd gathering.

“ What’s going on?”, asked Harry to no one in particular.

“ Please, take a seat.”, said the Queen and they both sat in the semi circle of armed chairs.

“ I asked Charles to call you here due to a matter of the utmost urgency. The matter itself had been already solved but I do need to clarify a few things with you both and… and prepare you for what’s to come.”, said Elizabeth.

“ Granny, you’re scaring us. Please, what’s happening?”, said Harry. Elizabeth dismissed his plea and looked to William and Charles.

“ A few months ago, your brother called me asking to meet. He told me he had a very important matter to discuss with me. And as it turns out, he did. Having talked to your father fist, William came to me with his mind made up, only looking for my consent.”, continued Elizabeth.

“ Consent to what?”, asked Harry, getting irritated.

“ Consent to drop out of the succession line.”, said William. There was a pause. The room fell silent and no one said a word for what looked like an eternity.

“ Are you fucking kidding me?!”, said Harry, half shouting. He was in awe, disbelief and irritation covered his features. Elle didn’t know what to say. She ran her hand on Harry’s back in an attempt to sooth him. She then looked to William and Kate, who had their head bowed down.

“ What do you mean you’re dropping out of the line of succession? You can’t simply fo that!”, shouted Harry, now standing up and making his way towards William, only to be held back by Elle.

“ Darling please. Calm yourself. I’m sure there’s a very good explanation to all of this.”, said Elle, as calmly as she could. Sighing, Harry gave his brother a hateful look and plopped on the chair once again.

“ When Eleanor was kidnapped, Kate was hit by a bullet in amidst the crossfire.”, said William. Harry and Elle both looked alarmed and turned their faces to Kate, who shook her head.

“ I’m fine. It was just a flesh wound. Nothing too serious. We didn’t want to tell anyone or make a huge deal about it but… let’s say that was the last straw in an already very full barn.”, said Kate.

“ It wasn’t the first time out lives have got in the way of someone we love. Catherine suffered for most of our relationship with harassment and then kidnap threats and death notes came to our office not only against us, but also against out children. I’ve decided… we decided we had had enough of it. I talked to Pa then I went to granny and explained the whole situation for her…”, said William.

“ So you’re just dumping this on my plate? That’s it?”, said Harry, very irritated.

“ Oh let’s face it! You’re much better suited for this than I could ever be!”, said William. “ You’re a natural. A born leader. Even mother knew that!”, he continued.

“ Don’t you dare bring mother into this.”, said Harry angrily.

“ But it’s true. Everyone knows it, Harry. You’re just like her. You have a way with people that I could never ever dream of having. And it’s all you. It’s almost instinctive to you.”, continued William.

“And are you both ok with this?”, he asked Elizabeth and Charles.

“ As much as it pains me to say it, I am.”, said Charles.

“Unbelievable!”, exclaimed Harry. “ Granny?”, he asked the older woman. She sighed and was about to speak when Harry said:

“ Oh for fucks sake!”

“ As I was going to say, after much consideration, I agreed to your brother’s wishes. He’ll live as a private person, like your cousins Zara and Peter and will relinquish his royal duties and income. He’ll retain his title and styles as will Catherine and the children. He’ll resume his work as a helicopter rescue pilot in Wales, where they will reside for the time being.”, said Elizabeth. Harry sighed deeply, running his hands over his face and hair. Elle kept on soothing him with circular motions on his back. She was nowhere near calm herself. Her heart was pounding and she could feel a headache coming and settling in.

“ I know this is all too much to listen and to consider but as soon as the document is signed, the line of succession will fall to you and your heirs, Harry. Much like it happened to me.”, said Elizabeth. “ I was never to be the monarch, yet here I am.”, she continued.

“ We’ll be with you every step of the way. We’ll teach you everything you need to know about statesmanship, government, religion, cerimonial duties… you’ll have time to get used to it.”, said Charles and Elizabeth nodded her head in agreement.

“ Well… the decision has already been made, hasn’t it?”, he asked his grandmother, who nodded her head again.

“ Then I guess there’s nothing I can do about it.”, he replied. “ Just know this… it’s very selfish what you’re doing, William. I never expected that from you. Right now I can’t even talk to you, or look at you.”, said Harry, standing up, taking Elle’s hand in his own.

“ I understand.”, replied William.

“ Now, if you excuse us, my wife and I have guest to entertain. We’re going out there and we’ll enjoy our son’s christening party.”, he finished, taking Elle along with him and going out of the room with a loud bang.

“ Well… that went better than I had expected…”, said William.

“ He looked very calm… all things considered.”, said Kate and they all nodded their heads in agreement.

“ And that, my dear, is the very reason why I think he’ll make into a fine monarch one day.”, said Elizabeth.

************

Harry walked fast almost pulling Elle along. He rushed along the corridors and went to the quadrangular courtyard. He let go of her hand hand and walked into the grass, pacing from side to side, hands ever so often running through his face and hair.

“ Darling? Harry… talk to me….”, pleaded Elle.

“ How can they do this to me, huh?! TO US!”, he shouted.

“ I can’t do this. I can’t be king! It was never meant to be me! William was supposed to be the one on the throne! The one with the responsibilities and duties… NOT ME! And Kate was meant to be the Queen like my great grandmother was. Not you, my love. Never you. I don’t want to put that responsibility over your shoulders, my love. I… I can’t…”, said Harry, crumbling to the ground, sobbing. Elle rushed to him and embraced him.

“ Shhhh… it’s going to be okay, darling. You’ll see.”, she said. “ We’ve faced do much together, this is just another challenged in our way. We can do this. So long as we stand by each other.”, she continued.

“ I don’t think I can do it. I saw what that kind of life did to my mother… it destroyed her. I don’t want to it to destroy me… even less to do that to you… and Arthur… our little boy… look how much is already being thrusted onto him. I can’t Elle… it’s too much.”, he said, still sobbing.

“ We work this out. We’ll find a way.”, she kept repeating it. Not only to Harry but also to herself. What are we gonna do now?, she thought.

#FATES INTERTWINED #phff #prince harry fanfic #prince harry fanfiction #prince harry

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