#helena is a bit mean

[grgie]

god i cannot get enough of ji uk and hae yeong's dynamic its teetering on the edge of cougar and her puppy dog boyfriend im eating that shit UP

[science-lings]

reading some batman comics and i always get so excited when Tim is there he's so funny

[doctorwhoisadhd]

there's a certain quality the harmonies of like... early to mid 2000s alt rock has. which i am obsessed with... like i wanna do that. i NEED to figure out how to write harmonies that sound like that

[redpasserines]

Helena, on mourning.

Car sirens. Blue, red, blue, red. The flashes of light reflecting on the beads of a broken necklace. A shadow standing on the balcony, lightly stepping around the broken shards of the window. The outline, glowing red and blue. And red again. A body, on the floor. The single pearl in her right hand. And Helena, under the table, with her mother’s blood splattered on her cheeks.

Did you come to kill me? 

She skates like she’s running. She doesn’t feel like dancing right now, because right now, she exists twice. She’s eight and twelve years old. She can hear it, the fork clattering, the sirens, the way the wooden floor had creaked when she’d stood; can see the morning’s light, the blue and the red, Damian promising he’ll be back, a man who’d introduce himself as Jason, staring at her. 

Everything always catches back to you, Helena. You’re allowed to be sad. Even if you think it doesn’t make sense. 

The stands are empty. The rink is, too. It’s five in the morning, on a Tuesday. She expects to see her mother there, behind the glass panel. She turns, and she thinks she almost runs into her older brother, who’d never moved on from the shakiness he had in the beginning, but who’d always, stubbornly, tried to catch up to her. 

Her dad holds her in his arms in front of a hole in the ground. He isn’t really her dad, because the dad-she-never-met is like they’d said her mother is, now, as in: laying down in a hole somewhere. It’s hot, maybe twenty four degrees or so, and the sun is shining bright. Helena doesn’t cry. This is all just a bad dream. On the side, she sees more of the stone memorials. 

Her right skate cuts viscerally across the ice. Any other day, she would have felt bad for the people that’d come after her. 

You remind me of my brother. Well, I guess he’d have been your brother too. I mean, I’m Todd’s brother, and yours, too, though, so I guess not necessarily. But he was really good. Not at skating, just. Well.

Helena is twelve years old. Her mother is never coming back. She didn’t leave for a day trip to scout another city. Don’t think that we’re leaving, baby, we’re just racing across the whole Earth. You love racing, I know that because when you were four and in kindergarten, you would make me bring you to school extra early so you could race with the boys.  Helena had stopped complaining, at some point, probably around the time they went to Sweden and she’d learned about skating on black ice. Gosh, she had hoped they’d go back to Toronto, eventually. 

Helena is eight years old. She’s running across the ice. She’s her mother’s daughter, because she’s running away, away from people that she would probably kill her if they’d ever caught up to her. Except, even though that’s all she’s been seeing, maybe because that’s all she wants, she can’t see them. She’ll never see them again.  

She jumps. She knows she shouldn’t, not while she’s angry and falling apart and alone, but otherwise she’d remember. Remember the first time she’d seen Damian in that black and blue costume of his, explaining why he was wearing it. If she concentrated hard enough, she could remember her father’s old red helmet, too, the way it shone in the cave’s low lighting. 

You remind me of him. He would have loved you.

She turns, four times. She lands it. She’s been trying that exact jump for years. It’s not supposed to be possible, technically. That’s what all of her coaches had told her. There are limits to everything, Helena. That’s okay. We just have to live with that. She screams. 

[cleromancy]

the post thats like "as a bette enjoyer i understand jason likers just making stuff up but dont you want something good dont you want something that delivers" is so goofy like. yeah i fucking do and i want jason to deliver it

[hawkzeyes]

When I’m forced to read a comic with god awful writing in order to catch a glimpse of the fav

[ultramarine-spirit]

I wish athy had more female friends. Yes, the relationship with Jennette is very sweet and all that but still I would have liked that Athy had a best friend but that she was Athy's type. I mean, a grumpy, powerful, hot girl who tried to kill her and would give her the whole world to make her happy 😞

I feel like it would be a lot of fun and besides, this girl would be more competition for Lucas than Kiel.

Sounds like you would enjoy our wlw lucathy AU! /hj

But yeah I get it, I think a fairly valid criticism of wmmap is that Athy doesn't have more relationships with girls her age (she doesn't need to have them, but it would be nice, I think). The noble girls are kind of her friends, but also not really? Like the kind of friends you don't emotionally connect with in any deeper level (I mean, Athy literally feels like a mother figure to them, she straight up says it).

This is more going over the female cast's relationships with Athy, but I love how Lily, the obligatory "maid character", is treated with a lot of respect by the narrative. Despite being a minor character (especially in the manhwa, novel Lily had a bunch of other scenes), she is incredibly important to Athy, as her second (or even first?) mother. Lily is the first person to ever show Athy unconditional love, and that's why Athy immediately remembers their time together when thinking about how she didn't want to let people into her heart, but before she noticed, it was already too late. In other manhwas the "maid character" is there to 1. Be a minor villain early in the story, or 2. Fawn over the FL, which makes me appreciate Lily a lot. Hannah and Seth are also very fun with their almost "boke-tsukkomi" dynamic, and it shows how much they adore Athy. Jennette's characterization is a lot weaker than in the novel, but it's good that neither Spoon nor Plutus fell into this misogynistic narrative other manhwas have going on with any female character that's not the FL. And lastly, Diana's relationship with Athy is incredible, even if they only talked directly for a single chapter, it was one of the most impactful moments in the whole series. Don't wanna ramble about it yet again. Perfect score for you there, Spoon. Great job.

Getting back to the hypothetical female love interest topic, while I kinda get annoyed when manhwas do "yuri bait" (looking at you, Melissa manhwa, I'll never forgive you /j), I would have loved for Athy to get closer to Helena. She named her "lily girl", c'mon! They could have had such a fun dynamic, similar to how Cabel and Athy interacted (another absolutely amazing duo). That's just the little fanfic inside my head though.

[hallawayheart-moved]

with winter around the corner, wyatt’s school did their first round of class photos. 

[puppetmaster13u]

 Lol, yeah it is getting… very long lol. Was gonna ask if you wanted to split to a new post but you beat me to it. 

 Pfft, people are gossiping about Wayne making a 17 year old CEO, while the people in other companies that have to meet with Wayne Enterprises are sobbing in relief. No you don’t understand that kid is the only normal person in the entire company- even if they’re not exactly right lmao. Let them live in denial. 

 Gosh I feel bad for Young Justice (not lol) the first time Tim (probably in a narcolepsy and insomnia-fueled rush) brings one of the living snacks to the mountain. Oh hey Robin is back! With a lobster in his hand? And some prawns but they’re more focused on the lobster- oh god he just bit its head off- And poor Tim has no clue what they’re freaking out about in his sleep-deprived haze. Oh, did they want one? (NO ROB WE REALLY DONT- Kaldur confiscates the bucket of live prawns and hugs them to his chest looking traumatized) 

 Oh you’re so right with Gotham knowing not to do big parties on Outsider holidays because of things like Calender Man lol. Bet the Outsider Galas include one for celebrating the GCPD (really how much they weeded out corrupted officers) and a simple spring one. Definitely an aquarium one that officially is to raise awareness for marine life, but everyone in Gotham knows it’s just an excuse to terrify Outsiders lol. I love the idea of most of the rogues being chill after a while. Like it’s an unspoken thing that they know who the Bats are- Harley went to medical school with Bruce! Harvey and him were childhood friends! He grew up seeing Cobblepot at galas before his parents death. They all know to play nice during these. Mostly. They’re still rogues & terrorize people but it’s Gotham, it’s like enrichment in their opinion. Except Joker. No one likes him. Or them. Depends on if it’s the continuity of there being three jokers or just one. 

 Helena is just a lil baby, she just took a lil nibble! Bruce rolls his eyes at everyone freaking out because really, it’s just a bite. Practically a paper cut, calm down. 

 Oh my god victorian-style punk, that’d be so popular in Gotham you’re right. It’s a mishmash of victorian, modern, 70s, 30s, 90s, practically every time period in the city, mixed or not. You think Discowing came out of nowhere? No people still dress like that and it always confuses visitors. You’d think everyone would be wearing drab and gray clothes but no. There’s so much color during the day. 

 You’re so right about Bruce having a wedding painting. They even used glow in the dark and reflective paint so if you shine a flashlight at it the eyes flash back, a rather common thing in Gotham to visitors’ horror. It almost looks like a fae or siren painting, their hair shimmering around them and bits of skin glittering with scales and finery if you look closely. Honestly the painting industry in Gotham is going so strong lol. 

 @midavalanche asked about things like plumbers and the types of jobs that require a lot of water around you. And @rulerofdumbassery is right with the full coverage near hazmat idea lol. Outsiders think it’s because of how toxic Gotham waters are, along with the fact the city is canonically full of lead still, but no it’s so they don’t use their legs lol. Y’all are also correct on water being an import. Gotham surprisingly doesn’t have a lot of imports, which people don’t realize because by all logic the city shouldn’t be able to support itself. Should be doesn’t take in aquatic curses that start taking hold the moment you see the city as Home. But Gothamites can drink water without changing (as long as they don’t spill). They might have hints of their other form from it- maybe ears a hint too pointed or sharp canines out or eye shine particular bright- but otherwise it’d be like them changing from the water inside them. And humans are like, 60% water. Lungs alone consist of about 83% water to flesh ratio. Dishwashing and other jobs definitely use long gloves and it’s habit for everyone to check for tears or damage- most people assume it's from all the rogues with chemical weapons but no they’d be pretty wrong lol. 

 Random unrelated thing but I think Gotham arts & crafts includes creating mini grotesques & gargoyles as good luck charms. Bruce has an entire cabinet of ones from his kids that they’re honestly embarrassed about because it includes their first attempts but he loves them. 

OH! Pfft, poor Dick when he first moves in with Bruce & is fostered, because I bet it’d totally slip their mind to tell the kid about the curse because it’s been in effect for like, at least a year at that point and no longer registers as something strange per se. There’s more pressing things at the time. Bruce gets woken up at 4am by 9 year old Dick running into his room freaking out while waving a scale-speckled arm because he spilled water. (Yes he knows Bruce told him to use bottled water but that’s so much work!) 

 Oh poor single dad Bruce when his kids are developing their fangs and adult canines and they’re using him as a chew toy. OH MY GOD! JASON’S DEATH! JUST REALIZED! Bruce is in good standing and in a good relationship with the League. Or at least in contact enough with them thanks to the Curse and the Al Ghuls canonically having had magic users in their bloodline. (We also have canon comic panels of Ras telling Bruce he grieved for Jason’s death as well) I bet Talia informs him like, not exactly immediately, but once she’s gotten Jason’s brain damage and other things healed via the Pit. The fact that Jason sees all that he was buried with, the unspoken love and grief that is there definitely helps with his anger. But I bet they at least called or video called while he was with the League while he was figuring out how to deal with the Pit Rage. Because that shit is a chronic condition, it doesn’t just… go away. It’s part of him now, and he has to learn how to live with it- but is that not what grief is? 

 Ras sending assassins after Bruce’s allies: If he’s not going to join my League and makes his own I must make sure they’re worthy of his time! I’ve even ordered the Shadows not to kill! It’s only some slight maiming attempts, I don’t see what the problem with that is! (Meanwhile Selina & Talia on a date: Hm I feel like something has happened…) 

Edit: I found something that has some Gotham fashion vibes here on tumblr lol

@puppetmaster13u

It was getting too long so...

Okay this was VERY long but I love it all. So much food, and very much alive when possible. And yeah they're very much venomous.

... oh gods you're making me hungry for food that isn't even safe even if it existed 😂

Also, I feel like Ivy's plants would, ah, sometimes move if they don't like where they're currently planted. If your neighbor is taking better care of your flowers then you might wake up and see them over there, you just learn to deal. 😅

Ooooo I love that. And I feel like, to Aquaman, it would be like speaking in Pig Latin + Esperanto mixed with the heaviest Scottish accent ever. He can tell it's words, but he can't really understand it.

Also, Bruce singing lullabies to the kids, just imagine. Jason or Dick or anyone shows up having a panic attack and Bruce starts calming them down. First in English, then aquatic, and slowly morphing into a lullaby.

Oh definitely, those other heroes will be struggling. Almost feel bad for them.

The medical professionals must be paid well, and Gotham University probably ends up with a very heavy metal degree that most people might assume is for vets not human doctors. 😂

Oh my gods Helena yes. Poor Supes, and I love the JL freaking out. Also, her bottle HAS to be a little pink, because of the blood that's probably in it. Also, I imagine they're born with weak venom, and drinking their parents' blood lets them process and produce stronger toxins.

I bet Dick and the other kids probably have the same weird food habits and their teammates aren't really sure what they're supposed to do. Sometimes Tim will fall asleep in the middle of lunch and whoever is in the same room will get to see his lunch run away. Probably a bit unnerving. 🤣

I like the idea they might do them for 'major holidays'. Not on the holiday, because Calendar Man (on the holidays is Gotham only, they fully expect him to show up, he's practically invited without saying anything outright), and that's the Outsider Galas. Not just one a year, but not like 20 of em either.

And yeah, aside from runaway food, Tim is pretty good with outsiders. He probably wouldn't eat 'normal' (normal for Gotham anyway) around his team if he didn't trust em or something either. This is probably another reason Bruce made him CEO. 😅

Yesss uncanny valley please. Everyone is freaking out internally, and yet at the same time they can tell they're safe... for now. Servers doing their job, and Gothamites not revealing anything, unless someone does something wrong.

Yesss the rogues. Honestly I just want an AU where the rogues are basically family.

||=====||=====||

"Oh yeah that's aunts Harley and Ivy, they can be fun but don't drink the wine."

Then (controversial I know but also heavily depends on the AU)

"That's Uncle J, we're on tense terms with him but he's got the best drinks if you don't mind letting a bit."

Maybe

"There's not-dad Harv-"

"he's Uncle T right now-"

"-that's Uncle T, don't gamble with him or ask about his coin collection unless you want to stay a while."

Or

"Don't mind Uncle Cobbles, he's a little competitive with B about their family histories, but other than that and birds he's pretty calm."

Even

"Yeah don't mind Uncle John, he's probably more nervous than you are, doing spook him and you'll be fine."

||=====||=====||

Yesss so many photos.

Also, there's two wedding photos. One he shows to outsiders, the other is up at the major as a painting and is the same wedding photo but underwater.

... Ras don't bother your son-in-law's friends please, they have enough on their plate. Seriously, stop. 😂😅

Bruce probably confuses everyone even more by knowing the assassins.

Oooo yes. Sharks, aquariums, oh my. I love all the animals you mentioned too.

... so I randomly looked up 'Victorian modern punk' because why not and...

This was the top result.

[malkaviian]

random thought i had while writing another post (that has nothing to do with this one), but skyler would absolutely freak out while performing autopsies, mostly lennox's one

[youremyheaven]

Astrology & Voice : A Quick Study

1. Prominent 3h placements can give you a very distinct voice

2. People who have a deeper/huskier voice often have Mercury aspecting Pluto. Ex: Miley Cyrus & Whitney Houston (both have mercury conjunct pluto)

3. Mercury in a water sign can give the native a very sultry voice. They probably sound a lil intimidating and their voices will always be slightly low pitched (Zoe Saldana, Lana Del Rey, Pamela Anderson, Adriana Lima, Gisele Bundchen)

if Mercury is in Cancer, the voice tends to be soft and calming to hear. Ex: Margot Robbie, Elsa Pataky, Kate Beckinsale etc

Mercury in Scorpio gives the native a certain, almost nasally twang to their voice, it's not exactly nasally but i cant think of a good way to describe it, its deeper and fuller sounding but there's a certain twang to it.

Ex: Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry, Julia Roberts, Madonna, Kris Jenner, Demi Moore, Gabrielle Union & Miley Cyrus

especially Miley & Demi have this very gravelly cigar smoking kinda voice

Mercury in Pisces gives a very intimidating, richer or fuller vocal timbre

Ex: Mariah Carey (her speaking voice), Sharon Stone, Liz Taylor, Alan Rickman, Lucy Lawless, Juliette Binoche, Fergie (her speaking voice)

4. Mercury in Fire signs gives a rather shrill voice, unless there are other aspects involved

Others may find their voice/talking irritating; they often have "vocal fry" esque tendencies

Mercury in Leo: Jennifer Lopez, Cameron Diaz, Demi Lovato, Lindsay Lohan

Mercury in Sagittarius can give you either a very husky, sensuous voice or a very "loud" one, there's no in between

Ex: Scarlett Johansson, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Vanessa Paradis, Carla Bruni, Bjork etc

Mercury in Aries natives have a very tonal pitch, their voices have a very "radio announcer" quality, idk how to describe it 😭😭

Ex: Diana Ross, Jessica Chastain, Madison Beer, Carmen Electra, Jennifer Garner etc

5. Mercury in Earth signs

Mercury in Taurus also gives natives a very soulful, deep-ish husky voice. They're very sexy sounding

Ex: Gigi Hadid, Uma Thurman, Brooke Shields, Selena Quintanilla, Renee Zellwegger etc

Mercury in Virgo: these natives have a very "sing song-y" voice, they speak in a very rhythmic way and modulate their voice very well. if you listen to any of their interviews, they always speak like they're telling a story, if you know what I mean.

Ex: Madonna, Kylie Jenner, Hugh Grant, Monica Bellucci, Amy Winehouse, Salma Hayek, Dakota Johnson etc

Mercury in Capricorn gives natives a raspy voice, their voices tend to be very low pitched and some of them kind of sound like they have a perpetual cold

Ex: Taehyung, Zayn Malik, Shakira, Alex Turner, R Kelly, Alexa Demie

Sometimes however it can give the native a very "sugary girly" voice

Ex: Milla Jovovich, Taylor Swift, Zooey Deschanel, Ellen Degeneres

6. Mercury in Air signs

Mercury in Gemini natives are very verbose; they're articulate but they're very wordy; they also speak in a rather expressive manner; usually they're very well spoken

Ex: Angelina Jolie, Elizabeth Hurley, Helena Bonham Carter, Courteney Cox, Stevie Nicks, Cate Blanchett etc

Mercury in Libra natives often speak in a very expressive and animated way, its so cutee🥰

Ex: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Zendaya, Brigitte Bardot, Bella Hadid, Kate Winslet, Emma Stone, Gwen Stefani, Sophia Loren etc

Mercury in Aquarius: ive often noticed that these natives can sound a bit clueless or zoned out when they're speaking 🤭

Ex: Harry Styles, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Aniston, Paris Hilton (in the 2000s at least)

[kozakk]

Ah, to be watching "Ogniem i mieczem" with this huge ass mug of Okocim in hand - only that would be paradise. 💙

@tucbilo, you have reminded me, that once upon a time something like that have been created!

The aquarelles-caricatures by the Polish artist, Andrzej Kowalczyk, originally published in the literary journal “Przekrój” in 1999.

It is a fan account. I don’t benefit from it. Copyright belongs to the Artist.

[kiras-monkey-bum-face]

me fucking around at work making myself look a fool so some kids who recently witnessed a death can forget about it even just for a little bit and know they're safe with me

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Nightshifter | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader (Eventual ;) )

Warnings: canon violence, canon gore, hostage situation

Word Count: 5149

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You eyed Dean angrily as he flirted with the attractive woman in front of him dressed as an FBI agent. You knew he was teasing you, and it was pissing you off. You had long since finished your interrogation of the store’s manager. Helena had apparently been a patron of the store for years. Then, one day, she went crazy; the police caught her clearing out the jewelry store’s cases and the safe before shooting someone in the face and killing herself in her bathtub after the crime. You had a sneaking suspicion you were dealing with a shapeshifter; a monster that you were quite over dealing with.

Dean approached you, triumphantly waving the piece of paper with the phone number he’d gotten from the woman he was interviewing.

You snatched it out of his hands. 

“Aw, you jealous?” he teased, leaning into you.

You deadpanned, “Keep it professional, Agent Hetfield, wouldn’t want the bureau to hear about this, right?” You ripped the paper up and shoved its tatters into your blazer pocket.

He deflated slightly, but still smirked at you. “I’m gonna make you crack, sweetheart, just wait.”

“Mm-hmm,” you hummed, turning away from him and heading out to the Impala. Admittedly, you were strutting a little bit to tease him.

Sam met you at the car, and the three of you drove to the home of the man whose police statement had been a mix of sci-fi nerd gibberish and the only eye-witness account of the incident.

As you approached the small house, Sam began talking about another piece of the case. “Uh, Milwaukee National Trust. It was hit about a month ago.”

Dean raised a brow. “Same M.O. as the jewelry store?”

“Yep, inside job, longtime employee, the never-in-a-million-years type. Dude robs the bank, then goes home and supposedly commits suicide.”

“The guy, Resnick, he was the security guard on duty?” Dean questioned.

Sam nodded. “Yeah. He was actually beaten unconscious by the teller who heisted the place.”

“Jesus,” you grimaced.

“Yeah,” Sam nodded. He knocked on the screen door. “Mr. Resnick?” A bright flood light turned on, momentarily blinding you.

You raised a hand in front of your eyes. “Holy—”

Sam was apparently unfazed. “FBI, Mr. Resnick.”

Through the screen door, a chubby, nerdy-looking man in his late twenties approached. “Let me see the badge.”

You slapped your badge against the screen next to Sam’s and Dean’s. 

Mr. Resnick, whose first name was Ronald, squinted at them carefully. “I already gave my statement to the police.”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, listen, Ronald, um… just some things about your statement we wanted to get some clarification on.”

“You read it?” He seemed surprised. “You come to listen to what I've got to say?”

“Well, that’s why we’re here,” Dean said.

“Well, come on in.” He opened the door and led you through a narrow hallway to a room cluttered with conspiracy theory paraphernalia.

“None of the cops ever called me back. Not after I told them what was really going on. Uh, they all thought I was crazy,” he rushed out. You were beginning to think the same. “First off, Juan Morales never robbed the Milwaukee National Trust, okay? That, I guarantee. See, me and Juan were friends. He used to come back to the bank on my night shifts, and we'd play cards.”

“So you let him into the bank that night, after hours,” Sam noted.

“The thing I let into the bank…” Ronald trailed off, “wasn't Juan. I mean, it had his face, but it wasn't his face. Uh, every detail was perfect, but too perfect, you know, like if a dollmaker made it, like I was talking to a big Juan-doll.”

You nearly choked on a laugh. “A Juan-doll?”

“Look, this wasn't the only time this happened, okay?” He scrambled through papers on his messy desk and handed you a folder. “There was this jewelry store, too. And the cops, a-and you guys, you just won't see it!” You flipped through the folder; it almost looked like a hunter’s profile of the case. You were half impressed. “Both crimes were pulled by the same thing,” Ronald finished. 

Sam pressed, saying, “What's that, Mr. Resnick?”

He picked up a copy of a magazine labeled “Fortean Times” and held it out to you. The headline read, “Birth of the Cybermen.”

‘Jesus Christ,’ you thought, suppressing a grimace.

“Chinese 've been working on 'em for years,” the man explained. “And the Russians before that. Part men, part machine. Like the Terminator. But the kind that can change itself, make itself look like other people.”

Dean smirked. “Like the one from T2.”

“Exactly! See, so not just a robot, more of a- a- a- a— Mandroid," he said finally, a bizarre twinkle in his eye.

“A Mandroid,” you deadpanned. “And what makes you so sure about this, Ronald?”

He held up a finger at you, smiling a little wildly. Your eyes flicked to Dean’s in concern, and he just wiggled his eyebrows at you. 

The man returned a moment later holding a VHS tape labeled “M.N.T. Camera 4— Juan.” He inserted it into a player, saying, “See, I made copies of all the security tapes. I knew once the cops got them they'd be buried. Here.” He fast-forwarded a bit in the tape. “Now watch. Watch. Watch him, watch, watch! See, look! Th- th- there it is!” He paused it on a clip of the man with a silver in his eyes. “You see? He's got the laser eyes.”

You gave Sam a knowing look that he returned.

“Cops said it was some kind of reflected light. Some kind of ‘camera flare’. Okay? Ain't no damn camera flare. They say I'm a post-trauma case. So what? Bank goes and fires me, it don't matter!” You eyed Ronald uncomfortably as he continued to pace around and rant. “The Mandroid is— is still out there. The law won't hunt this thing down— I'll do it myself.

"You see, this thing, it- it- it kills the real person, makes it look like a suicide, then it sorta, like, morphs into that person. Cases the job for a while until it knows the take is fat, and then it finds its opening. Now, these robberies, they're, they're grouped together.” He pointed at the map on the wall. “So I figure the Mandroid is holed up somewhere in the middle, underground, maybe. I dunno, maybe that's where it recharges its, uh, Mandroid batteries.”

Dean nodded, seeming impressed. You just looked between Ronald and Dean in confusion. 

“Okay. I want you to listen very carefully. Because I'm about to tell you the god's honest truth about all of this,” Sam began.

Your head whipped to him, confused as to where he was going with this.

“There's no such thing as Mandroids. There's nothing evil or inhuman going on out there. Just people. Nothing else, you understand?”

You kept a straight face, but were startled. 

“The laser eyes,” Ronald tried desperately.

“Just a camera flare, Mr. Resnick. See, I know you don't want to believe this. But your friend Juan robbed the bank, and that's it,” Sam mollified.

Ronald immediately became angry. “Get out of my house! Now!”

***

You and the brothers found another tacky, cheap motel to stay in for the time being. You lounged on Dean’s bed in a pair of comfortable sweatpants and an oversized band t-shirt. 

Dean paced around the room, chuckling. “Man, that has got to be the kicker, straight up. I mean, you tell that poor son of a bitch that— what did you say, remand the tapes that he copied? Classified evidence of an ongoing investigation?” He laughed harder. “That's messed up.”

Sam sat on the foot of the bed and inserted the tape into the television’s player. “What are you, pissed at me or something?”

Dean shook his head. “Nah, I just think it's a little creepy how good of a Fed you are. I mean, come on, we could have at least thrown the guy a bone. He did some pretty good legwork here.”

“Mandroid?” you deadpanned.

“Except for the Mandroid part,” Dean added. “I liked him. He's not that different from you or me. People think we're crazy.”

“He’s not a hunter, though, Dean,” you challenged. “He ran into something real and let his conspiracy-theory-brain-rot get the best of him.”

“Better to stay in the dark, and stay alive,” Sam finished.

Dean shrugged, “Yeah, I guess.” He put a paper down on the map on the table and began marking it with a red pen. 

You shuffled forward to Sam and hit the pause button on the remote just as the man’s eyes flashed at the camera.

“Shapeshifter. Just like back in St. Louis. Same retinal reaction to video,” Sam informed.

“Eyes flare at the camera. I hate those fuckin’ things,” Dean grunted.

“You think we don’t?” you scoffed.

“Yeah, well, one didn't turn into you and frame you for murder.”

You shrugged. “Well, look, if this shifter's anything like the one we killed in Missouri—”

“Then Ronald was right. Alright, they like to layer up underground, preferably the sewer. And all the robberies have been connected so far, right?”

Sam nodded.

“With the, uh, sewer main layout. There's one more bank lined up on that same sewer main,” Dean continued.

“Awesome,” you grumbled.

***

Later that evening, you and the brothers headed to the bank Dean referenced, the City Bank of Milwaukee, to see if the shapeshifter would be hitting that one next. You posed as Sam and Dean’s boss, and the two boys wore security camera technician outfits. 

The guard of the bank informed you as you walked along, “Well, we haven't had any flags go up on our system yet.”

You shook your head. “No, sir, this is a glitch in the overall grid. I just need to cover all my bases and make sure the branch monitors are okay.”

“Well, better to be safe than sorry, I guess,” the guard shrugged.

“That’s the plan,” you nodded.

He opened the door to an observation room flooded with monitors for you, saying, “Alrighty. You guys need anything else?”

“Nope,” you replied. “We’ll be in and out before you know it. Just a routine check.”

“Okie-dokie,” he said, leaving the room.

Dean chuckled. “I like him. He says ‘Okie-dokie.’ “

“What if he's the shifter?” worried Sam.

“Well, then we follow him home, put a silver bullet through his chestplate,” the older brother replied simply.

You sat down in one of the desk chairs to watch the screens. You kicked your high-heeled feet up on the desk in front of you, leaning back in your seat. “Anybody got popcorn?” you yawned, preparing for the hours of work ahead of you.

***

You and the Winchester boys were beginning to go cross-eyed after searching for the monster for so long.

“Well, it looks like Mr. Okie-Dokie is… okie-dokie,” Dean commented upon seeing his eyes appear normal in the camera screens.

“Maybe we jumped the gun on this, guys,” sighed Sam. “I mean, we don't even know it's here.”

Something caught your eye. “Wait a minute.” A middle-aged man turned toward the camera, and his eyes flared. “Got him.”

“Hello, freak,” Dean growled.

Sam immediately jumped up, as did you, but Dean lingered behind. “Guys, wait!”

“What?” you and Sam spun around.

You then saw Ronald scurrying up to the door of the bank with a chain and a padlock, chaining it shut.

Dean scoffed. “Hello, Ronald.”

You immediately began running down the hall, ignoring the protesting of the soles of your feet as your heels clacked against the floor. As you approached the main lobby of the bank, you heard Ronald screaming for everyone to get on the ground. And then, gunshots.

“Fuck!” you cursed.

“And you said we shouldn't bring guns,” Dean scolded Sam, nearly bumping into someone fleeing past him.

“I didn't know this was gonna happen, Dean,” Sam replied.

“Just let me do the talking,” the older brother commanded. “I don't think he likes you very much, Agent Johnson.”

You saw Ronald standing in front of a group of people huddled together on the floor. “Now, there's only one way in or out of here, and I chained it up. So nobody's leaving, do you understand?”

Your eyes flicked to Dean concernedly as he stepped forward. “Hey, buddy. Calm down. Just calm down—”

Ronald wheeled around. “What the— You! Get on the floor, now.”

Dean began to crouch to the floor, as did you and Sam. “Okay, we're doing that. Just don't shoot anybody, especially us.”

“I knew it. As soon as you two left. You ain't FBI. Who are you? Who are you working for, huh? The men in black? You working for the Mandroid?”

“We’re not working for the Mandroid!” Sam exclaimed.

Ronald shakily aimed his gun at Sam. “You, shut up! I ain't talking to you. I don't like you.”

“Fair enough,” the brunet mumbled.

“Get on 'em. Frisk them down, make sure they got no weapons on them. Go!” Ronald commanded one of the hostages.

“Oh, hell, no, you’re not fucking touching me,” you struggled against the man as he tried to feel you up. 

“(Y/N), (Y/N), stop, stop,” Sam pleaded.

You shoved the man off yourself. Your struggle was strategic, though, as it kept him from finding the knives you had planted on yourself; one in your sleeve and one alongside your thigh.

The man moved over to Dean and found a knife stashed in his boot.

“Now what have we here?” Ronald’s question was meant to sound intimidating, but his wavering voice gave him away.

Sam shot Dean a look.

“I'm not just gonna walk in here naked!” Dean hissed back.

“Get back there,” Ronald ordered. You did so, following his pointing of the gun to the group of people behind him. He dropped Dean’s knife in the deposit box, and Dean winced.

“We know you don't want to hurt anybody,” he said. “That's exactly what's gonna happen if you keep waving that cannon around, and why don't you let these people go?”

“No!” Ronald shrieked. “I already told you. If nobody's gonna stop this thing, then I've got to do it myself.”

“Hey, we believe you! That's why we're here,” Dean replied.

“You don't believe me. Nobody believes me! How could they?” he cried.

“Come here,” Dean said.

Ronald scoffed. “What? No.”

“You're holding the gun, boss; you're calling the shots. I just want to tell you something. Come here.”

Ronald approached cautiously and leaned into Dean. You assumed he was telling him who the shifter was.

“Why do you think we've got these getups, huh? We've been monitoring the cameras in the back. We saw the bank manager. We saw his eyes,” Dean whispered.

The shorter man’s eyes widened. “His laser eyes?”

“Yes.” Dean seemed to realize what he’d said. “No. No! No, look, we're running out of time, okay? We've got to find him before he changes into someone else.”

“Like I'm gonna listen to you. You're a damn liar,” Ronald grumbled.

Dean stood cautiously, hands out.

“Dean, no!” you said.

“I'll shoot you! Get down!” Ronald ordered, pointing his rifle at Dean.

“Take me. Okay? Take me with you; take me as a hostage. But we've gotta act fast , because the longer we just sit here, the more time he has to change.” Dean paused. “Look at me, man. I believe you. You're not crazy. There really is something inside this bank.”

Ronald finally nodded. “Alright, you come with me. But everyone else gets in the vault!”

You stood on shaky legs as the people around you gasped and cried. You helped Sam herd everyone into the vault, and Dean tried to calm everyone down when Ronald ordered him to shut the door.

“It's okay, everyone. Just stay cool.” He threw a lingering glance to you before locking the vault completely.

A young redhead stared after Dean. “Who is that man?” she asked breathlessly.

“He's my brother,” Sam replied; you could hear the worry in his voice.

“He is so brave,” she practically moaned.

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms.

The redhead went silent for a few minutes, and you took some time to thoroughly think your situation over. ‘Cops are gonna be all over this place by now. Dean’s been accused of murder, and the three of us have already been arrested once. Dean’s on the FBI’s radar. Surely, after our escape on the danashulps case, the feds are on us again. Now, we’re smack dab in the middle of a full-on hostage situation. And who are they likely to blame? Us!’ Your anxiety was beginning to get away with you as your thoughts began to swirl in your head. You were then acutely aware of how hot the room was, and unbuttoned the top two buttons of your shirt to keep some circulation moving. 

The woman next to you who seemed infatuated with Dean introduced herself to you.

“ ‘Scuse me, sorry. Uh, hi, I’m Sherry,” she said. “You’re, uh, with those guys, too, right?”

You nodded. 

“You known them a while?”

You nodded again.

She grinned. “Oh, gosh. What’s it like being around him?”

You snorted. “ ‘Him’ who?”

“That guy! The one who saved our lives!” she beamed. “What’s he like?”

“To tell you the truth, he’s a pain in my ass most of the time,” you giggled, arms crossed over your chest. 

“Oh, really?” She deflated a bit before her floaty, trancelike inflection in her voice came back. “He just… He seems so wonderful to be around. I mean, staring down that gun. And, you know, the way— he played right into that psycho's crazy head, telling him what he wanted to hear, I mean—” She trailed off, turning her attention back to you. “He's like, a real hero or, or something.” She tucked a hair behind her ear as she continued to gush.

You nodded again, feeling weirded out. 

“Sorry, I just,” she sing-songed, “I’ve never met anyone like him.” She paused, seeming to consider her next question carefully. “You ever… done anything with him?”

You nearly choked at her statement, uncomfortable with the objectification of Dean. “What?”

“Y’know,” she drawled, “How good is he in the—”

You were grateful to hear the vault door unlocking, revealing Dean holding a handgun.

“Oh my god, you saved us! You saved us!” Sherry cheered.

“Actually, I just found a few more. Come on, everybody, let's go. Let's go.” Dean ushered the guard from earlier and a few other people inside the vault.

“What are you doing?” Sherry questioned.

“Sam, (Y/N), look, uh, Ronald and I need to talk to you,” Dean said.

You shot Sam a confused look, and Dean shut the vault door behind him, shrugging apologetically.

“It's shed its skin again,” Dean explained. “We don't know when— it could be in the halls, it could be in the vault.”

“Great,” you sighed. “Y’know, Dean, you are wanted by the police.”

He nodded.

Sam seemed to catch onto where you were headed with this. “So even if we do find this damn thing, how the hell are we gonna get out of here?”

“Well, one problem at a time,” the older brother replied. “Alright, I'm gonna do a sweep of the whole place; see if we can find any stragglers. Once we get everyone together we've got to play a little game of find-the-freak, so… here.” He handed Sam a silver letter opener. “Found another one of these for you. (Y/N), I know you have weapons on you. Best use ‘em.”

You grinned at how well he knew you. You slipped your silver-bladed knife out of your sleeve.

Dean turned to Sam. “Now, stay here, make sure Ronald doesn't hurt anybody, okay? Help him manage the situation.” He turned to you. “C��mon.”

Sam’s voice began rising in outrage. “Help him manage? Are you insane?”

You turned your head to Ronald who seemed shaken, attention caught by Sam’s voice.

“Look, I know this isn't going the way we wanted—”

Dean was cut off by his brother nearly shouting, “Understatement!”

“But if we invite the cops in right now, Ronald gets arrested, we get arrested, the shifter gets away, probably never find it again, okay?” Dean finished.

Ronald peered out of the window in plain view of whoever was down below. You snapped, “Ronald! Out of the light!”

Sam scoffed at his brother, “Seriously?!”

Dean sighed. “Yeah, Ron's game plan was a bad plan, I mean, it was a bit of a crazy plan, but right now, crazy's the only game in town, okay?”

Dean slapped Sam on the shoulder and grabbed your hand, bringing you along with him. ‘If only Sherry could see us now,’ you thought bitterly.

Dean looked over his shoulder at you. “What’s that face about?” he questioned.

“Nothin’,” you replied, still grinning in self-satisfaction, scanning the hallway ahead for anyone or anything.

He just hummed at you, turning his head forward again.

“I hate this case,” you whispered after a few minutes of tense walking.

“Yeah, me too,” he replied, still scanning the ceiling. He seemed to notice something, and you followed his gaze upward. A panel in the ceiling had been left askew. You eyed Dean curiously and took the gun from him, pointing it at the panel while Dean dislodged it with a coat rack from nearby. Suddenly, a naked body fell to the floor. Dean turned the body over with the end of the rack.

“Wait, Dean, wasn’t that?—”

“Yeah, I just let that guy in the vault.”

***

You and Dean hurried as inconspicuously as possible to inform Sam of what had just happened. Sam told you that man had been trying to get the front door unlocked and helping Mr. Okie-Dokie who may have been going into cardiac arrest when you and Dean found the body. 

You turned to Ronald and his cocked rifle. “You know what, Ronald? He's right, we've got to get this man outside. Come on. I've got you.”

The shifter tried to help, too. “Yeah, yeah, let me help you.”

“Oh, we got him, it's, it's cool. Thanks,” you replied. You helped the guard out of the way, and Sam took the man’s other side.

“Thank you. Thank you,” the guard told you between labored breaths.

“Sure,” you smiled politely.

You could hear Dean talking to the shifter and a sudden crash behind you. You turned with the guard still on your shoulders at Ronald yelling, “Stop! Come back here!” You noticed a red laser pointed on his back, and your breath caught.

“Get down! Now!” you screamed, but you were too late. 

The bullet from the sniper rifle hit Ronald squarely in the chest. You watched in horror as he fell to his knees before hitting the floor dead.

You took in a sharp breath at the sight, forcing yourself to keep your composure for the sake of everyone else in the room with you.

It was bedlam at that minute. All of the hostages began running out of the vault toward the door. You put Mr. Okie-Dokie on the ground next to you and just kept him talking until something could be done to help him. You weren’t quite sure what Sam or Dean were doing, but you made it your priority to keep this man from going into cardiac arrest.

Dean suddenly came over to you, holding a rifle.

“Dean, what are you doing?” you questioned.

“(Y/N), trust me on this—” he pleaded before helping the guard stand.

“Dean! I can help him, don’t bring him outside—”

“I’m not taking that chance, (Y/N). C’mon,” he told the guard. “I gotcha.” He held the man out in front of him and pushed him out the front door with the rifle at the guard’s back. You stayed out of the light, back pressed against the pillar next to the heavy door. 

“No, don't shoot! Don't shoot! Please!” you heard the guard yell.

Dean commanded, “Don't even think about it! I said get back! Now!” He paused a moment before you heard his voice again. “Okay, go, go!” The older Winchester slipped back inside, shutting the door and latching it.

“We are so fucked,” he mumbled to you, helping you up from the floor. 

“Fuck, why?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “There’s about, I don’t know, eight thousand cops out there. Helicopters and search lights and everything. We are fucked, (Y/N).”

You dropped your head back, groaning, “Great.”

Dean’s phone rang, and you assumed it was Sam. “Yeah?” he answered. “What?... God, it's like playing the shell game. It could be anybody. Again… Alright, you search every inch of this place, we’re gonna go round everybody up.” He hung up the phone.

“I think this is the most stressed I’ve been on a job,” you said as you and Dean began searching for the hostages. 

“Yeah? Even more so than the demons in New York?”

“Oh, definitely. That was just a sad one; not super stressful,” you replied. You noticed a herd of people toward the end of the hall. You gripped the handle of your knife, knowing the shifter would likely be in the mix of all the hostages. 

You and Dean rounded them up; Dean pointing the rifle he picked up from Ronald at the group. You guided them back to the vault.

“And I thought you were one of the good guys,” Sherry, who held up the back of the group, told Dean, who was trailing behind her.

“What's your name?” he asked.

“Why would you care?” she scoffed.

“My name's Dean,” he said. Your heart melted a bit at his gentleness with her.

She hesitated but still answered. “I'm Sherry.”

“Hi, Sherry. Everything's gonna be alright. This will all be over soon, okay?” He assured her, shutting the vault door and spinning the lock shut. The landline of the bank rang and you picked it up. You didn’t say anything when you answered the phone.

“This is Special Agent Victor Henriksen,” a commanding voice stated through the phone. “Is this Dean? Sam?”

You didn’t respond once more.

Dean mouthed to you, “Who is that?”

You shook your head, holding up a finger to gesture for him to wait.

“Oh, or is it that pretty girl? Our very own criminal Jane Doe. Some people have been calling her Ghost since no one can seem to find any record of her existence.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, but you still didn’t say anything.

“Well, whether you’ve got the Bonnie to your Clydes with you or not, it’s my job to bring you boys in. Alive's a bonus, but not necessary. I want you Winchesters out here, unarmed, or we come in.”

You still didn’t say anything.

“I know you’re still there,” he said, almost taunting. “I know everything about you two. I've been looking for you for weeks now. I know about the murder in St. Louis; I know about the Houdini act you pulled in Baltimore. I know about the desecrations and the thefts. I know about your dad.” 

Dean was trying to get close to the phone, but you kept pushing him away because you knew he’d explode at the mention of his father.

“Ex-marine, raised his kids on the road,” the agent continued, “cheap motels, backwood cabins. Real paramilitary survivalist type. I just can't get a handle on what type of whacko he was. White supremacist, Timmy McVeigh, to-may-to, to-mah-to. You have one hour to make a decision, or we come through those doors fully automatic.” With that, he hung up the phone.

You slammed the phone down, cursing in frustration.

“What? Who was that?” Dean asked.

“The fucking FBI agent who’s been tailing us since Missouri,” you replied, beginning to pace anxiously. “He knows everything about you guys, man. Even about your dad. That’s why I didn’t let you talk to him; I knew you would’ve ripped his head off.”

“Damn right,” the man growled. “They have a positive ID on you yet?” 

“No, actually,” you said. “Ironically, some of the feds labeled me ‘Ghost’ cause they can’t find anything on me. Which makes me even more nervous. Anyway, we’ve got an hour till they come in here and pump us full of lead,” you informed him.

“Fuck,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair.

Moments later, Sam appeared at the entrance of the vault room.

“Hey. We've got a bit of a problem outside,” Dean said.

Sam snorted. “We got a problem in here.”

“What?” you questioned.

Sam hushed his voice. “The girl that was gushing over Dean in the vault? It’s her,” he told you. 

“Who, Sherry?” you questioned.

He nodded. “Just found her body.”

Barely needing to flick a glance at the boys, you unlocked the vault.

“Sherry? We're gonna let you go,” Dean called as the door swung open.

“What? Why me?” she questioned.

“Uh, as a show of good faith to the feds, come on,” he replied.

The woman hesitated. “Uh... I think I'd— I'd rather stay here, with the others.”

Dean approached her intimidatingly. “I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist.”

You clutched your blade at your side. After a tense moment, she approached you. Sam and Dean pushed her back to the hallway.

“I thought you were letting me go,” the woman you thought was the shifter said.

Dean shoved her forward, holding her head and forcing her to look at the body of Sherry Sam had brought back with him. She began screaming hysterically.

“Is that community theater, or are you just naturally that good?” Dean gruffly questioned.

“This is the last time you become anybody. Ever,” Sam added.

“No! Oh god!” she cried. She fainted almost immediately.

You stared at the two Sherrys in disbelief. One of the bodies was dressed, the other, half-naked. ‘Poor lady,’ you thought. You took off your blazer and laid it over the woman’s body, trying to spare her dignity. 

“Wait, why did it do that?” you questioned. You leaned over the undressed body of Sherry covered only by your blazer and put your finger on her neck, trying to find a pulse. The body immediately jolted up, grabbing you by the throat. You struggled, stabbing at it frantically. You got a lick in at its upper arm with the knife before it kneed you in the chin and bolted.

You coughed when it released your throat, clutching at your neck and coughing.

“(Y/N)!” Dean cried.

“Dean, no, I’m fine! Follow it!”

He nodded, taking your knife from your outstretched hand and running after it. You kicked off your heels and took another moment before standing and going to follow Dean. Sam had taken off somewhere with the real Sherry. 

You didn’t know what else to do besides stay with the vault and Dean’s discarded handgun, prowling in front of it with the gun at the ready. 

***

You had no idea how long it had been. You just continued to pace in front of the vault, tension overtaking your body and anxiety keeping your eyes flickering across the room rapidly. You suddenly heard approaching footsteps and dove on the ground behind a desk— unsure if it was Dean, Sam, the shifter, a cop— and were panicked at the sight of S.W.A.T. sniper rifle lasers and flashlights on the wall in front of you. Your breath quickened as the footsteps continued approaching you. Then, a masked man ducked under the desk in front of you.

You shrieked.

“Here’s Johnny!” he yelped.

“Dean! Fuck you!” You shoved his shoulder harshly when you recognized his face. He and Sam were donned in S.W.A.T. outfits that they had definitely taken off some poor bastards hidden in a broom closet somewhere. 

“C’mon, we gotta get outta here, now,” Dean told you. You grabbed your heels and followed the boys out of the building and to the Impala. Dean and Sam had their stolen guns at the ready as you sprinted up to the third floor of the parking garage. 

The three of you sat in the Impala, completely breathless, as you grappled with the reality of your situation.

“We are so fucked,” Dean murmured.

You and Sam nodded minutely.

You looked out of the window at the rising morning sun. Exhausted, you let the rumble of the Impala soothe you into a restless sleep as Dean drove you away from the bank. 

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @star-yawnznn @real-sharena-h @fandomloverrr @metalmonki @onlyangel-444 @yu-winchester @benniwiththefanni @daisychaingirl @immagods @missmieux @yoongi-holland @littledebbieinabigworld

[vinelark]

🕷️ Recommend something of the asker's choice -- favorite identity shenanigans fic(s)?

i really was going to just recommend one, but i got...a bit carried away. here are two timkons, two superbats, some general batfams, and one absolute wildcard with svsss to cover every possible vibe here.

been a number and a name by @wynterstars, a timkon 90s period piece chock full of identity shenanigans and kon angst and platform boots; i adore the first two installments and am eagerly subscribed to the ongoing third installment.

call me cute and feed me sugar by @suzukiblu, a timkon wip in which tim, upon finding out kon is still relying on cadmus for room & board, accidentally-on-purpose becomes a 15 y/o sugar daddy. notably, kon does not know this rich tim drake kid is also robin.

the long hangover by @coffiocake, in which superbat somehow end up dating in all permutations before the full realizations hit; an excellent identity shenanigans longfic to settle in with for a night or two.

How to Date the Batman by @solomonara (+ the whole series), a superbat fic where most of the identity shenanigans are about them dating while other people don't know their secret identities; place of honor on this list for the chapter 3 jason & clark scene especially.

Say Uncle by @megaerakles, a batfam fic in which tim's harebrained fake uncle scheme gets even more harebrained when he hires jason todd to be his fake uncle; the multiple layers of identity shenanigans from tim pretending not to know who jason is + both of them pretending not to know tim is robin + tim actually not knowing jason is red hood yet are endlessly entertaining.

Top 10 Secret Identity Fails by @havendance, in which helena bertinelli is tim drake's new english teacher. cue a delightful fic of tim panicking for 2.5k words while helena is just trying to do her job (and worry a bit about robin).

love and bruises by @transdickiebird & @homobiwan, a laugh-out-loud and also genuinely sweet fic in which recently adopted jason todd thinks bruce and batman are two different people who happen to be dating each other, and jason is not thrilled about it.

wild card: The Best Luo Binghe by Neery, a svsss au in which pidw!luo binghe gets transported to a strange fertility celebration (fan convention), which is tbh a typical side quest for luo binghe until he meets a guy cosplaying as shen qingqiu, who has no clue he's talking to the real luo binghe. i think about this one every so often because 1) it's great and 2) it fully leans into the absolute bonkers metahumor potential of its source material. (which also means it will probably be incomprehensible if you're not familiar with svsss, but in that case just trust me that it's fun.)

[fic rec ask game]

[buddierecs]

outsider pov buddie fics

there isn't as many outsider pov fics under the mature and explicit tags that i know of/read, so i have added them together. the last two on the list are explicit as stated below :) another thing to mention is that some of these aren't completely outsider pov, for some of them they do have buck/eddie povs make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

bobby versus buddie by: songbvrd "five times bobby tried to gently hold buddie's hands and tell them they were in love, and one time they got the picture." word count: 10k important tags: bobby nash pov, gay!eddie diaz, idiots in love, mutual pining i'm holding on (barely) (this has a pt 2 with a christopher pov) by: cranberrymoons "eddie and buck take christopher home to california; helena and ramon decide to follow" word count: 12k important tags: both eddie and helena pov, parenthood, coming out, therapy, mother-son relationships, healing just to love you by: woodchoc_magnum "in which drunken confessions are made, feelings are confused, and maddie can't help but do a little bit of big-sisterly meddling." word count: 37k important tags: has buck/eddie pov but also 118 team, getting together, secret relationship, soft!buddie, meddling platonic co-parents don't kiss like we do by: thelikeofus "5 times other people see buck and eddie kiss + 1 time they really mean it." word count: 7.1k important tags: 5+1 things, soft!buddie, getting together, fluff, supportive 118, pda

friday (never hesitates) by: pansys_goth_gf "natalia spends the day at buck’s loft and becomes increasingly more aware that he already has a partner." word count: 5.8k important tags: natalia dollenmeyer pov, feelings realisation, didn't know they were dating brand new (full throttle) by: ofthedirewolves "5 times the 118 missed the obvious signs that buck and eddie were dating and the one time they didn't." word count: 6.7k important tags: 5+1 things, 118 crew pov, oblivous 118 crew ---- these last two are explicit, also like to point out that they aren't completely outsider pov, buck and eddie do have a pov in them as well! good pretender by: likeshipsonthesea "an au where buck broke up with taylor before 5b, ravi and buck become (actually platonic) friends with benefits, and ravi, eddie, and buck all go on a journey of self-discovery that ends with them all getting what they need" word count: 85k important tags: has ravi panikkar pov but only for first chap, friends with benefits (buck/ravi), team as family, therapy, friends to lovers, jealous!eddie diaz, mutual pining, explicit sexual content

ours to keep by: brewrosemilk "buck and eddie pass their single, shared brain-cell back and forth, trying to keep their relationship a secret." word count: 8.9k rating: explicit important tags: the last section of fic is chimney pov, secret relationship, crack treated seriously, blow jobs, porn with feelings