#heheheheeee.....my problem man

[angst-and-fajitas]

For the WIP tag game, would love to hear about an original story! (Is Porcelain King one of those? Sounds very intriguing.)

YESSS Porcelain King is one of my original works!! Usually I talk (and draw) a lot more about my own writing and characters on this blog, it's actually more my default state, and I only sometimes get into fandom stuff.

So, a bit of background! Porcelain King is the first novel in the Alora Chronicles--a fantasy series about a universe where the forces of nature are conditionally immortal god-like entities who secretly walk the mortal world in physical forms. The series centers on these "gods" known as Rift Lords--on their culture, their interpersonal drama and fallout, and the crushing weight of immortality. It's a story about very old, very powerful beings who are still very flawed and human, and it's also a story about some REALLY SWEET SWEET SWORDS

Porcelain King, specifically, is about a guy named Azurifel.

Azurifel used to be a human back in the iron age, until he met the Rift Lord Icellus, force of nightmares (and tbh a genuinely nice guy) and traded his mortality for godhood to become Icellus' apprentice. Now, the thing about Azurifel is that he has so, SO many issues. This guy is a walking dumpster fire of daddy issues and anger issues and pure ego, and he is making it everyone else's problem.

The story of Porcelain King is Azurifel's self-destructive downward spiral over thousands of years. It's partly an exercise in writing a fantasy story in which the big bad villain is the main character, someone you can empathize with but can't forgive, but it's also a study in what happens when a traumatized person doubles down and refuses every offer of help and chance to change, and how that effects their relationships.

He spends the first act of the book trying to tear down this council of gods who took him in after deciding after thousands of years of apprenticeship that he can't stand it anymore, and then spends the second act walking among humanity and eventually deciding to use his power to set himself up as a king of his own empire. The third act is pure spoilers, but it's safe to say he doesn't get better.

I have a lot of art of him on this blog! you can check out the dedicated tags if you wanna see all that stuff

**SPEED EDIT CAUSE I FORGOT TO ATTACH AN EXERPT

[pxnk-velvet]

I AM SUMMONED I MAY BE HOURS LATE BUT I AM SUMMONED

baseball!daichi and baseball!chikara are always on my mind please those boys radiate RELIABLE CATCHER/CAPTAIN/CLEAN-UP ENERGY and i am ALL FOR IT 😩😩

i am so glad we both agree on shortstop noya there is NO WAY he is anything else on the field hehe he be fast like a lil beyblade like 'whoops i stole base hehe' and the pitcher's just like 🙂💢 silently seething ffs (runner noya is every pitcher's worst nightmare and has gained quite a reputation in the division)

and smexxy fielder tanaka 💓 i imagine much like chikara he's the kinda guy you're just like 'man i'm so glad we're teammates' because while he might let a ball or two slip by that man is EAGER and always tagging and running and he does do a good job at 'em he'd be scary to go up against LMAO. can you imagine the 'best teammate for morale' volleyball tanaka??? now imagine him on a diamond field?????? mans is AS MADE for baseball as he is for volleyball (but tanaka in a dirty ass baseball uniform hhhbbggg ryuu baby wear them pants pls it's for us not for u)

basically what im tryna say is furudate owes us a baseball!haikyuu au and i am THIRSTING for that shih 😩😩 FURUDATE LISTEN AND GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT

wow this got a lil long ONCE AGAIN GOOD JOB ON THESE HCS BAE THIS IS SO WELL-WRITTEN AND THOUGHT OUT MWAH MWAH MWAH IF YOUR HCS ARE THE CLOSEST WE WILL EVER GET TO CANON BASEBALL HQ CONTENT I AM APPEASED AND WISH FOR NOTHING MORE YOU GOT MY HEART 💗

⚾⚾⚾

HELLOOOOOO ⚾️⚾️⚾️ sorry it took me so long to answer I was just at *ahem* practice myself 😌

THANK YOU THOOOOOO maybe once I’m done with Karasuno, I’ll have a go with Nekoma, Fukurodani, and the other schools heheheheeee

BASEBALL BOYS MAKE ME GO INSANE someone pls come get me like it’s a problem at this point

[clown-bait]

29 Neibolt ST (Monster Roommate AU) CH 19 NSFW

This was a fucking struggle to write. It is also like one of the biggest chapters but here it is the big showdown! Its finally time for the Trashpire to fight back! Also prepare for some angst. Shits about to go down

CH 19

Rock of Ages

“ADAM! ADAM YOU SON OF A BITCH WHERE ARE YOU?” the young vampire tore through the rather nice apartment claws drawn ripping the modern furnishings.

“Is it necessary to destroy the rug?” Penny had appeared in the bedroom where Leech was going to town on a faux fur rug.

“I always hated his stupid yuppie style. So yes, its absolutely necessary”

The clown rolled his eyes and began poking around himself. He opened a drawer on the nightstand to find a photo album of Leech and Adam in happier times the picture on the cover showed him kissing her cheek with Leech’s signature toothy grin. Seeing this other give his mate the same joy he did now filled him with uncontrollable rage. Pennywise snarled proceeded to destroy the offending object shredding it with his teeth and claws. The clown grabbed Leech and shoved her up against the wall.

“Pen what are you-” she glanced down and saw the remains of photo album she had given her former lover on their 3rd anniversary. The vampire felt a sour taste in her mouth at the memory and pulled Penny closer to her.

Pennywise’s warm tongue dragged across her face and neck. “MINE” he snarled gripping her possessively. Fire danced in Leech’s eyes and she pulled her clown off the wall and onto her ex’s bed crashing her lips into his. All she wanted was for Penny to take her right then and there. Their tongues twirled together and grabbed at each other with ferocious need. Pennywise pushed up Leech’s shirt and ground his hips against her raking his claws on his mates skin to mark her. “Say you want me slut!” he growled into her ear. “I don't want anyone else Pen. Ever again.” she kissed him hard. “That’s my girl. Pennywise is going to mark you all over this others bed and make you mine all over again.” the clown snarled sliding his hand into the front of her pants. “Would you like that my precious?” Leech gasped when she felt a finger push into her dampening slit “Fuck yes! Remind me I'm yours Pen!” He began to push into her. “mmmm look at you! You're dripping. Bet you're getting off on this aren't you? I love your dirty little mind.” he giggled. Leech moaned like a bitch in heat. Pennywise had just begun removing her pants when the door to the bedroom opened and a man in a delivery uniform stood in shock at the moonlit scene going on in his bedroom.

“Uh heeeeey how have you been?” Leech laughed nervously noticing Penny had one claw in her panties and the other tugging on her bra.

“L-Lucy?”

“Well this certainly isn't how I imagine this confrontation would go down but uh anyway Adam this is uh Pennywise. He's a shape shifting clown, and uh the love of my life. Say hi penny.” Leech babbled nervously under the 7ft feral clown that was now drooling while letting out an alarming hate filled growl.

The clown looked back at his mate his eyes blood shot and glowing in the dark. He released her and Leech stood to pull her shirt back down cracking her neck and knuckles. Pennywise roared and charged the man in the doorway leapt back with inhuman speed scrambling through the apartment as the killer clown attempted to rip the challenger apart. Leech causally walked out into the living room where Adam was holding Penny back with a curtain rod that was being crushed in the clowns jaws.

“Alright wheres the book Adam?”

“You cant stop me Lucy you cant stop me from destroying you like you destroyed me! Then you’ll fucking see how good you had it! You'll regret leaving, I’ll fucking make you regret!”

“Oh were going for the drama queen angle here. Fine, we can play that way I can show off the claws you gave me when you turned me into a monster isn't that exciting?”

the nosferatu laughed and drug her talons into the building as she walked creating long scratches in the dry wall.

“WHERES THE FUCKING BOOK” she shrieked in her demonic monster voice her eyes glowing so bright you could see her fang filled grin on her skeletal face. Adam kicked Pennywise in the gut as he bit through the rod and stabbed both pieces through the clowns chest. Penny roared in pain causing leech to shriek in alarm. She lunged at her ex in full rage who was chanting something out of the necronomicon. A demonic creature with wings smashed through the window grabbing Adam and flying off with him. Leech screamed in frustration tearing curtains and furniture in a fit of rage. A claw on her leg broke her frenzy and she spun around suddenly remembering her lover had two large metal poles in his chest. “Shit Pen you ok?” the clown grunted pulling one of the rods out blood floating up from his wound. “WiLL… bE.. eVenTUalLY.”

“Here let me get the other”

“carEfuLly LeEcHIe”

“Hold still.” the nosferatu pulled the pole out and Penny howled in pain. Leech immediately hugged the clown close half for him half for herself she began to cry quietly hoping her clown wouldn't notice. Pennywise grunted at first growling from the pain but found himself softening a bit when he sensed the worry and frustration radiating off his mate. He was pissed sure but there wasn't anything he could do at this point. Fixing one problem at a time was the only option for now. He began to purr and make his soft love growl to her in a last ditch attempt to calm his vampire down enough for her to be able to help him out of his new enemy’s home. “I’m sorry Pen….I feel like this is my fault” she whispered. “Not mad at you kitten. We’ll make him pay love, that I can promise” he finally said bringing a large hand to stroke her fake hair. She melted into him wanting to shower her clown with as much affection as he'd allow. “You’re hot when you attack like that by the way.” she mumbled. Pennywise chuckled “Well aren't you just the sweetest little thing. You flatter me darling” the clown kissed the top of her head taking her blood soaked hands and cleaning them for her “I like the way blood looks on your skin” he tried returning the compliment. It wasn't quite Shakespeare and sounded mildly threatening but for Leech it might as well have been a sonnet. “I love you so much” she said burying her face into his ruffles Pennywise nuzzled his mate planting little kisses on into her wig while drinking in her sweet smells. “Love you too little hunter.”

——————-

“Wow you guys took forever” Ash folded his arms in annoyance.

“What happened to you Jingles?” Chucky said eyeing the bloody holes in the clown’s outfit.

“Ran into our guy, Pen got stabbed” Leech strolled into the room rubbing Penny’s back affectionately.

“And the uh claw marks on the back of your blouse there?” Freddy laughed.

“Uhhhhhh” both monsters said in unison.

“Wow you guys couldn't even wait to get home could you?” Tiffany giggled and winked at the couple who were both a bit pink in the face.

“It was an emotionally charged moment ok?” Leech grumbled.

“Also its not a blouse!” Penny snapped.

“Alright options, obviously lover boy got away” Ash set his chainsaw on the table.

“We could just try to find him in the sewer?”  Leech suggested

“Why didn't we do that in the first place?” Chucky snapped at the the group.

“You really want to deal with a bunch of un-killable demons?” Ash asked.

“Well we don't have much of a choice” Tiff agreed with the young vampire.

“Do we just go in there guns blazing or what?” Leech asked

“I’m not really the offensive type fangs” Freddy clicked his claws on the table.

“Yeah if you haven't noticed Tiff and i aren't really built for hand to hand combat. More of a stab and run fan myself.” Chucky set some knifes on the table and began sharpening

Freddy threw up his hands giving up choosing to pick up a guitar hero controller and turn the game on.

“Fred is now really the time for this?” Ash grumbled.

“What else is there to do?”

Leech glanced at the guitar and back to the gang. An idea quickly formed in her head.

“Wait…guys, what if we create a distraction? Like the ABBA incident?”

“We promised never to mention that again” Dracula rubbed his head at the memory.

“It worked though. Look I’ll be the bait you guys can do what you do best long enough for Ash to get the book.”

“I’m not letting you do that Leechie” Penny grabbed the vampire and growled.

“Pen nows not really the time to have feelings. I'm gonna die anyway let me at least make up for bringing this down on all of you.”

“And how do you know this will work?” Uncle Penny asked.

“Adam hated when I blasted music. Always told me to turn that racket off. They'll come I know it”

The clown growled in displeasure.

“You gotta let me do this Penny its me he's after anyway” Leech turned to Pennywise who seemed at war with himself.

“Alright lets plan then.” Ash put his remaining hand on the table.

———————————

The sewers were eerily quiet save for the dripping and shambling noises from the corpses stumbling around the cistern.

“STEP RIGHT UP FOLKS STEP RIGHT UP!” a blaring sound coming from the circus cart broke the quiet. The Deadites turned around in confusion.

“COME ONE COME ALL COME LAUGH COME CRY COME FEAR COME DIE! FOR THE FIRST TIME ON THE SEWER STAGE INTRODUCING LEECH THE SINGING AND DANCING VAMPIRE! OOHAHAHAHAHAAA!” the stage door flew open and Leech stood with her back to the edge of the stage.

“KNOCK EM DEAD LEECHIE! HEHEHEHEEEE!”  fireworks exploded and an unusual amount smoke filled the cistern Leech snapped and pointed off stage “Hit it Pen!” Def Leppard’s Rock of Ages started to play.

As soon as the guitar made its entrance Leech spun around holding the guitar hero controller. She strummed the buttons and played air guitar lip syncing the lyrics.

All right

I got somethin’ to say!

Yeah its better to burn out

Yeah than fade awaaaaayyy!

The vampire rose her hand into the air taking some steps forward and swaying her hips.  

All right!

ow gonna start a fire!

c’mon

She stood on the edge of the stage as the Deadites approached her though the fog.

Rise up gather round

rock this place through the ground

burn it up, lets go for broke

watch the night go up in smoke

rock on rock on!

drive me crazier, no serenade

no fire brigade just pyromania (c’mon)

One of the Deadites was yanked back into the mist. Leech grinned and danced more pulling off the best rocker moves swaying her hips from side to side. She caught a flash of yellow eyes in the darkness and winked humping the air a little while staring into them. The eyes grew brighter and vanished.

What do you want, what do you want?

I want rock ’n’ roll yes I do

Long live rock ’n’ roll

Oh lets go, lets strike a light

Were gonna blow like dynamite

I dont care if it takes all night

I gonna set this town alight c’mon

More deadites were cut down and a new figure was approaching from the pipes. Leech’s eyes flashed white and she pulled out her best distractions moving her hips and feed to the music.

What do you want what do you want?

I want rock ’n’ roll alright!

Long live rock ’n’ roll

Rock of ages rock of ages

Still rollin’, keep a-rollin’

Rock of ages, rock of ages

Still rollin, rock'n'rollin'

We got the power, got the glory

Just say you need it and if you need it

Say yeah

Heh heh heh heh

Now listen to me

Adam came into view and shouted at her his voice being drowned out by the music and the Deadites who seemed to be enjoying the performance with evil grins on their faces.

I'm burnin', burnin', I got the fever

I know for sure, there ain't no cure

So feel it, don't fight it, go with the flow

Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme one more for the road

Leech power slid to the edge of the stage where the Deadite Mandy tried to grab her. The vampire grinned nervously and walked back climbing to the top of the cart. That was close.

What do you want?

What do you want?

I want rock 'n' roll, You betcha

Long live rock 'n' roll

A large chunk of Deadites were gone there were still 3 more trying to get to her plus her ex boyfriend who looked absolutely furious. Leech could see her adopted family surrounding them in the back and leapt back onto the stage going full rockstar for the solo kicking one Deadite to the ground that had managed to get onto the stage.

Rock of ages, rock of ages

Still rollin', keep a-rollin'

Rock of ages, rock of ages

Still rollin', rock'n'rollin'

We got the power, got the glory

Just say you need it and if you need it

Say yeah

Say yeah

We're gonna burn this damn place down

Down to the ground

Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh

She finished lighting a cigarette and blowing smoke into the air a manic grin worn on her face as she panted and bowed. The fog began to dissipate and three Deadites plus Adam stood in a sea of dismembered body parts.

“Wait Leech THIS is the guy?” Freddy cackled.

The sharp dressed vampire in the center stood with fantastic posture his skin like porcelain and his hair gelled up perfectly. He looked like a Twilight vampire rip off.

“He doesn't even feast on human blood thats pig blood in his cup!” Dracula laughed

“Well Jingles, looks like you got nothing to worry about competition wise! Leechie got a massive upgrade” Chucky yelled over to the clown.

“I’m a massive upgrade from anyone doll.”

“Dont get too cocky kid remember what happened last time” Uncle Penny laughed.

“We’re not talking about that in front of my newest nemesis and my mate. She doesn't know and I prefer to keep it that way”

“Doesn’t know about what? Peeennyyy? What are you not telling me?” Leech turned to her clown smirking.

“Haha! Remind me to tell you about it later fangs” Uncle Penny flashed her a toothy grin.

Adam loudly cleared his throat. “AHEM!”

“Adam, shut up don't interrupt us.” the nosferatu snapped.

“Yeah man, don't be fuckin rude” Freddy said cleaning his claws off.

“Wow your friends are all terrible Lucy.” Adam growled.

“Well yeah were all murderers you think we’d be upstanding members of society?”  Leech shrugged.

“Excuse you apprentice I happen to be a gentleman and a count!” Dracula snapped.

“Dracula you totally left a horrible mess in the living room the other night when you had that chick for dinner” Chucky shouted.

“I-I hit a bad vein”

“At least like clean it up though! Even I did that earlier and I'm a lazy piece of shit!” Leech complained.

“Good to see you haven't changed much Luce.” Adam deadpanned pulling out a dagger with a bone handle and sharpening it.

“DONT TALK ABOUT MY MATE LIKE THAT! But I agree you are lazy dear.” Pennywise shouted.

“Wow thanks Penny so nice of you to defend me and insult me all in one breath”

Pennywise flashed his fangs and held up his hands in the shape of a heart.

“So are we done roasting me now? I came here to kill my ex and so far all we've done is chit chat”

“You say that so casually. You're a murderer?” Adam looked horrified.

“Well yeah you made me into a vampire?”

“It was never my intent to make you…this!”

“Honestly I should be thanking you. I think I'm starting to like the new me.” Leech’s eyes flashed white while she bared her fangs. The Deadites turned to the other monsters and charged as the  severed limbs climbed towards them. “Leech get the book!” Freddy shouted. “I’m working on it!”

“You were supposed to come back! I gave you immortality!” Adam shouted slashing the dagger at her. leech leaped out of the way and growled back at him.

“YOU FUCKING FORCED THIS ON ME! Just like you forced everything else on me! You were ashamed of who I really was you tried to change me!” Leech began to morph her limbs cracked and stretched as her claws flexed.

“I WAS TRYING TO MAKE YOU SUCCESSFUL LIKE ME!”

“MAYBE I LIKE BEING A TRASHPIRE AND NOT YOU” she shrieked with her demonic voice and skeletal features beginning to push forward.

“I gotta say ya cant change a chick to fit what you want bud! Take it from a guy who's been married for 10 years!” Chucky shouted before getting punched across the room by Deadite Harry.

“Chucky no one asked you!” Freddy yelled.

“That thing is hideous why do you hang out with it? Also been meaning to ask since when did you have a clown fetish?” Adam shouted between leech’s claw swipes one of which caught his knife and tossed it to the side.

“See this is why I left. You wanted to change me, you never fucking listened, and you sold MY GOD DAMN RECORD COLLECTION” Leech charged her ex claws out screeching. The two vampires clashed together Adam holding off the nosferatu with a rusted metal fence spear.  

“Wait you've always been into clowns?” Pennywise turned around after ripping off Deadite Daniel’s arm.

“PEN NOT THE FUCKING TIME” Leech screamed tossing the pole out of her ex’s hands.

“I’ve given you your chance Lucy you can come back and forget this. You can leave this sewer creature and these horrible monsters behind! Live a normal life a privileged life you won’t have to kill again!” her ex backed up against the sewer wall.

“Adam.” the nosferatu stood long limbs shrinking back to their usual spot “I like my life, I like my friends, I like the murder, the rundown house, the sewer, and I absolutely LOVE my monster sewer clown. Money, power, luxury mean nothing to me. I want this. I ran away for this. Its over and you're fucking dead.”

“How fucking dare you say no to me! After all I gave you. I gave you a home, a future, I gave you immortality for fucks sake and this is how you repay me? You were nothing! You always were! I’ll kill you, I’ll fucking take it all away you don't deserve my gifts! You're trash and its time for you to rot like it!”

The nosferatu screamed snapping a wooden baseball bat in half and charging with the jagged piece of wood pointed at her former lovers heart.

Pennywise heard the roar and the shriek first. There was a loud crack and a wail of pain the clown quickly ripped the Deadite Daniel in half and spun around frantically to his mate who was collapsed in a ball next to Adam. Penny’s charge slowed as the nosferatu rose from her position her arm hanging limp at her side. Adam lay still as the grave, the broken wood sticking deep in his chest. The standing vampire grabbed an ax howling in pain as she did so, swinging it down onto her ex’s neck until the body and the head were separate. Leech picked up the book of the dead out of Adams hand and whistled for Ash who was punching a disembodied head that had clamped down on his leg. “Say the words Williams!” she shouted turning to her clown who looked on with a mix of pride and relief “Hey” Leech smiled at Penny in exhaustion “How was your fight? I think I won mine.” she laughed weakly. Pennywise couldn't help but grin at her. As he took a step to embrace his love, Leech jolted and the smile faded from her face. A headless body stood behind her and Adam’s demonic looking head cackled on the floor. “Who’s laughing now Leechie!?” Leech looked down at the long rusted metal spear sticking out of her abdomen. “Huh I thought it'd hurt more” she mumbled and dropped to her knees as blood spilled out of her mouth.

“NO” the clown screamed. He rushed forward shredding the offending headless Deadite like paper and scooped his mate carefully into his arms. “Pen? Why am I cold?” she coughed.

“HUMAN SAY THE WORDS” the clown roared. Ash began to try to say ancient phrases struggling with the last bit the deadites dropped to the ground and a presence sucked its self out of the cistern. “Hold on little one just wait for old vampire to get here don't leave yet.” Penny had never felt fear like this in his life the threat of loss making him act in sheer panic.

“HURRY OLD MAN” he screamed. “H-hey Pen, I’ve been meaning to ask what'd you think of the show? Was it good?” the nosferatu wheezed and coughed up more blood. “You were perfect darling, I may have to make you a permanent part of my act.” he stroked her head tenderly.

“I-I’ll try to throw in some juggling n-next time. It'll have to wait though I think my arm’s broken.” she laughed and cried out in pain. “Shhhh just hold still” Pennywise was struggling hard with this for the first time in his long life he didn't want someone to die.

Dracula had finally reached them moving to get close to the dying Leech only to be met with a protective snarl from the clown. “She needs to be condemned if you want her back” he snapped at him. Pennywise reluctantly let him near. “We don't have much time she's dying as we speak. I shall begin immediately.” the elder vampire placed his hand on the top of her bald head. “I condemn you Lucy Smith to living death. To eternal hunger for living blood.”

“Pen? Final request while he does this.” Leech rasped.

“What is it love?”

“I don't want Adam to be the one who kills me I want it to be you.”

“Leech-”

“Please for me Penny, send me into the dark and don't you dare let go till I'm gone.”

“It needs to be now clown!” Dracula shouted.

“F-for you.” Pennywise cupped his mates face feeling her warmth for the last time.

“Make it spectacular” Leech smiled at him tears running down her face.

“I love you kitten.” she heard him whisper as he kissed her. Leech could have sworn she felt tears fall from him onto her cheeks.

“Love you too Pen” she rasped back. Pennywise gently tilted his mates head back and painfully extended his fangs. With a roar of anguish he sunk his teeth into her throat holding himself there until her grip on his hand went limp. Her scream echoed in his head long after she was gone, the one scream he never wanted to hear. The clown gazed down on her lifeless face and the red gore filled carnage that he left on her. She made a beautiful corpse. Pennywise closed the captivating blue eyes that once danced like cold fire whenever they looked at him. Those same eyes that were now hollow and absent of life. He let out a shaky exhale and held her empty shell close. “I’ll see you soon kitten.” He whispered into her pale skin as the last of her warmth left her body.

----------------------

SHES DEAD! And Penny had to kill her. I love sudden angst feelings in the middle of my comedic horror romance. And yes Leech used to live in Washington and yes Adam is a narcissistic vegan Twilight sparkly vampire. He only gets blood from ethical cruelty free sources. Thats partly why he kept his looks. Leech however eats the flesh and the blood and because of that her appearance reflects what a horrible creature she is. But even evil deserves to be loved. I miss my girl already friends. Don’t worry this ride isn’t over yet!