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nicomrade · 1 year ago

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Talk to me about Kaiji part 4... OR abt something youre currently reading/enjoyed recently idk how up to date I am w that 🐴💕

i almost bonked u for a fave emoji but now i see that horsie :) hehe hi horsie

kaiji part 4 is so one of my favorite death games PERIOD like outside of its kaiji context the arc does something i havent seen anything else do.. kaiji, the protag, isnt playing the game hes forced to only spectate it and comment on it. and so is the calculating antagonist! and that take on the 3rd party commentators is one of the only good examples of it ive seen (usogui is another good example) in opposition to how liar game does it (and everything else that copied it)

CAUSE ok my rules are

1. ur narration should, as much as possible, be from someone IN the gamble. what do i care what someone not in the game THINKS, MAYBE, is the gamblers' motivations? let the gamblers speak for themselves- about each other and about themselves. let THEM lie.

2. if u do have outside commentators, that commentary needs to ADD something and it CANNOT be stuff thats just thrown away later. example: in liar game the commentators will tell u "this gambler did this for that reason" and that turns out to be WRONG. so on a reread u remember thats literally not true and can easily skip the pages and not lose any information. thats very bad.

im OK w narration (from outside and inside the game) misleading you- its the bread & butter of gambling fiction. but that has to ADD something. it cannot just be clutter and lies. theres a great example of the ref lying to the audience in usogui but i cant get into it w no spoilers so trust me i do love it when the narration lies to my face sometime. cuz it adds meaning to a text!!!

AND THATS what part 4 is about. the gambler protag is forbidden from playing (at times literally tied up!!!) and its allllllllll about the biases of narration and commentary. its about kazuya literally FICTIONALIZING this. hes writing a book from this!!!! and kazuya seeing everything through his "friendship is fake" lense, kaiji seein the same thing as PROOF trust & friendship r real... the players backstories being inserted at the most impactful moment, the ways kazuya lies to the players without technically~~ lying and so on. the question at the heart of the game: is friendship more valuable than money? is not even answered properly because of kazuyas manipulation AND of kaijis interference. the commentators are pulled back into the game- they are playing, too. may they want it or not theyre part of this "experiment", of this fiction. you, sir, are a space too- we live in a society.?

and as u pointed out theres an omnipresence of water imagery in the arc and this is kazuya projecting his own subconscious into it. this is kind of like what jigsaw does in saw 1 hes recreating his trauma and putting people in that situation to see how THEY cope so he can know what hes supposed to do too. (cause emotionally he lived his diagnosis like a saw trap. so hes putting other people in this death sentence to, yes, cope.)

kazuya lived his drowning like a choice everyone on the boat made to save someone else instead of him, so hes putting other people in a situation to choose between someones life and something else to see what THEY do. and, of course, they have to reenact that betrayal he felt or his trauma isnt just "how the world is, trust and friendship are fake" but actually something that was wrong with him. the game does not exist without him reliving his childhood through it. theres no story without the spectator, the camera, the voyeur.

& kaiji is reliving his own gambles! "theres no way theyll betray each other" because if trust & friendship arent real then all of HIS betrayals were just him being a fucking idiot. what grace and virtue is there in forgiving the one who stabbed you in the back if it turns out thats just human nature to be selfish. if its not the death game making people act unlike their true selves then kaijis just some mark who got scammed over and over again lol...

like all good death games, the game stands for something. in part 1 its capitalism (and most of the time in kaiji its this, work, money, addiction, class) and in part 4 too you see this rich japanese man exploit poor immigrants for entertainment and thats what the game is, but its also (childhood) trauma. "they wont kill each other because me and the 45ers, me and the guys on the steel beams, we didnt." and "emotionally, this was like being strapped to a chair and seeing my trusted one walk to the button, and kneel, and apologize, and cry, and not release me. and watch me die."

#ask #fullmoondagger #kaiji meta #idk how coherent this all is my head hurts #ty for the ask mwah

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wellntruly · 2 years ago

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The problem with just giving my whole M*A*S*H Season 1 viewguide a watch, is that I think I might have been good at this. Because now I’m like, hmm Season 1, best season? Cannot possibly be!! But! !

Anyway I never posted my backstage notes on the first season because I didn’t take any notes on the first season, because I’d just had a minor surgery and was, a little bit rather medicated. Just enough to be like, peaceful dismissive flomp of the hand, wrist Very loose.

But I have thoughts now.

M*A*S*H Season 1 Notes Finally (Deluxe Episode Selection)

1x15 ‘Tuttle’

Phasing out the bits of original score laying over the start of the cold opens was a mistake, this is so worn-in & cozy I could cry

I had missed Hawkeye promptly swooping up this nun’s hand—to clean the engine oil off it with the bottom of his jacket. Overwhelmed that this would be his introduction to anyone following my list.

Also hadn’t realized I’d kicked off with an episode where Hawkeye starts talking about a man getting pregnant within the first three minutes. Starting strong for our BOY (gender neutral)

I’m just so happy. I was right, 'Tuttle' best first episode. 'Tuttle' best episode? I am also so happy watching the laugh track version again, I don’t know! I really can't figure out why I feel it highlights somehow how the early seasons were soooo Catch-22, the idiotic and painful absurdism of the military, and the surreal blitheness that those who can see it take refuge in.

Have I not noticed before that Radar’s cot is just one the beds from post-op, with that cross bar across the head of it

WAIT WE SAW SPARKY HERE???? ‘Tuttle’ perfect intro wow

Hawkeye does not frequently tent his eyebrows like this and good on it as we might be in a 'some dead, many injured' situation otherwise

Hehe I’d missed early seasons Radar, this sweet but entire little freak...

1x09 ‘Henry, Please Come Home’

They are all SO scruffy (even Radar!!!), yet Hawkeye also has his shirt tucked in. Disorienting visual moments to come back to. (Don’t hate it!)

I think about the physical dialogue of this wordless bit of Frank trying to get Hawkeye & Trapper to salute him all the time

I cannot figure why Hawkeye and Trapper are staying sooo low in the bath, up to their ears, besides that maybe they just happened into it on the day and found that it was extremely funny, because it is.

Okay and now I want to know why they are wearing kimonos over full Class A uniforms, with tie. They look so handsome and silly.

Really remembering now why this was my second up: the sequence where Henry takes charge is one of the more interesting and rewarding character bits of early Season 1. It’s important to know early on that Henry can step up, and really cares about his people, as he’s gonna be such a goofy buffoon a lot of the time, but will be called upon for gravity and pathos in certain moments. Seeing him in this episode bolsters those moments so much when they come later.

he literally seduced him

Fun I had just meant to stylize that with a hashtag and Tumblr did this to it. Leaving it!

1x06 ‘Yankee Doodle Doctor’

They really talked to generals a whole lot more in the early days huh

Lol wait, he’s only a brigadier general

The scene of Hawkeye & Trapper dancing in each other's arms around their tent is just….they are Together. This was the sixth episode.

TRAPPER JOHN, YOUR GOLDEN RETRIEVER BOYFRIEND: Hawkeye: “Oh, that’s my bad side.” Trapper: “You looked good to me.” Hawkeye: “Oh-oh-oh, you were good in that place! Isn’t that good?” Trapper: [laughs delightedly, beaming]

Trapper, literally, stepping in between them as Hawkeye's bodyguard, Hawkeye playing up the leading lady, “Save your voice, my darling”—THEM IN THIS EPISODE.

It’s funny that this is also our first & only glimpse of Alan Alda, Future Actual Director

Wait, is his name Crandle?? Oh lord I looked this up later: yes. Brigadier Gen. Crandell Clayton. Naming Awards.

Gary laughing when Wayne bonks him on the head with this prop mallet for “anesthesia” as powerful a painkiller as one ibuprofen

It’s just a good little monologue, huh. It gets me every time. Part of it is those haunted silver eyes, and we have the black & white to thank for that, but it’s just a nice bit of writing too, and a nice choice to play it almost calmly (tiredly) direct. He is Looking.

1x07 ‘Bananas, Crackers, and Nuts’

This muted, meandering riff on the theme is so so pleasing

Trapper asleep on a bed in the OR, welcome

Oh my god, this episode was their “Our first fight” moment. My babies…<3 Why does Alan keep Hawkeye’s bent knuckle resting against Trapper’s bare arm for half of this vacation planning…<3

Trapper: “I’m worried about Hawkeye.” Frank: “Well I wouldn’t be. He does very well looking after himself.” Margaret: “Very well.” Trapper: “That’s exactly the point, he’s not himself.” Frank: “What’s that supposed to mean?” Trapper: “He seems to be losing touch with reality.” Henry: “I think the last person we have to worry about is Hawkeye Pierce!” Margaret: “I second that.”

You know what. This episode is destroying the scraps that remained of my own sanity. I’m ruined maybe most by Trapper jumping on the idea of “he looks after himself” as a worrying sign of self-editing. I’m reading into that but also, as Frank asks, what's that supposed to mean? If not something like that?

Ah this shot of the moon beyond the PA speaker…!

His like, James Dean look up through the forelock of his hair talking about the man he’s in love with…fucking hell, Hawkeye

“You know she dyes her hair blonde? That’s why I died my hair black. I think Frank should have a clear choice.” This joke has always killed me. That’s such good bonkers logic, and also a bit custom-made for Tumblr.

Absolutely adore Frank & Margaret silently conferring with each other just upstage, actually. Something that is really well rendered with them is the co-conspirator angle of being a couple.

“This is the Army, no one can do the best they can!” See I did miss this kind of thing later. This is a whole nuanced essay I need to write about Lt. Colonel Blake to Col. Potter, and it will be so much about the Vietnam War.

I think I’m starting to figure out the difference in early Radar, and it’s that he was still super innocent but simultaneously, crafty. He is constantly, or at least every episode in my list so far, roped into schemes by Hawkeye & Trapper as like their inside man, which he tends to perform well, for a comedic value of well.

The ‘Bananas, Crackers, and Nuts’ rewrite where the psychologist is Sidney Freedman. Everything goes the same, except of course, Sidney has no previous connection to Margaret. But they still send Radar in trying to make this scheme happen, and Sidney is just so amused watching Radar try to pull something off, sipping his soup surreptitiously, that he goes along with it. He just keeps going along with it, cheerily makes the same burnt-out bulb joke about how “my profession is helping people find their way in the dark,” and then when he finally figures it out of course tries to stop Margaret from undressing, and she flips, but then cracks up at the idea that she’d be trying to sleep with HIM, the opposite of her general type (pun inteeeended), and she actually makes this joke, which cracks Sidney up, partly just imagining himself as a general, so when the boys rush in to catch him they’re just cackling together, and Sidney’s like you know what, this has been entertaining. I’m not taking Pierce right now as it’s clear he has a support system (cut to Trapper and Radar), but I’m gonna be back, to check in on ALL of you. Margaret’s like, I’d like that. :) Frank is like, Margaret?! This is my vision.

(And then the Wouldn’t Actually Happen In Real M*A*S*H But I’d Like It final button is Sidney having breakfast with them all in the mess tent the next morning before he heads out, seeing how they all are together under what passes for normal conditions, and then as he’s clearing his tray outside with Hawkeye just mildly asks, “So, Frank was it?” And Hawkeye’s fork stills over his tray, but already Sidney is just smiling at him and saying “Good choice—I really could have thought you were crazy.” And Hawkeye grins, and Frank comes outside, and they both laugh, and Larry Linville does that little sort of shifting stomp thing that he does over how he keeps walking into spaces where the psychiatrist is laughing and he doesn’t know why. FIN.)

Anyway trying to figure out why this scene with the not-Sidney psychiatrist and Margaret, in real M*A*S*H, didn’t bother me as much as it seems to have bothered lots of others. I think maybe it’s partly because it was never going to get very far, as they were already waiting outside to stop it as soon as it started? So it plays without an air of actual threat. And also that we’re supposed to hate this guy, he’s the episodic enemy, so Margaret’s fury against him is all framed as right & justified & him getting his just desserts. Unlike, sadly, a number of other “jokes” these early seasons, this episode positions a man trying to take advantage of a woman as wrong, punishable even. I think that’s why I was weirdly kinda okay with it. Though on the whole I mean I would have preferred we just, not. If we have to, would prefer the Sidney version I already laid out, OF COURSE.

1x11 ‘Germ Warfare’

Hey Oliver Jones was still here in this one too! Godspeed fella, your stay at the 4077 was too short.

Hawkeye, sleeping in a chair so the wounded North Korean soldier can have his cot, whispering “Trap?” without opening his eyes. No note I just like it.

The fucking theremin cue when they start stealing Frank's blood while doing their Dracula bit

“In the morning he will be one of my brides!” Alright.

Larry’s little meow in his sleep, omfg

Hawk stop trying to seduce Frank while he sleeps, this psychological torture is so…subliminal

Truly what makes incorrigible flirt Hawkeye work is that in just so many of his ceaseless attempts to seduce Nurse Cutler and Lieutenant this blonde babe, the joke is on him. He has no sense of shame or self-preservation.

“I’m only paranoid ‘cause everyone is against me.” I’D MISSED FRANK.

They walked back a little Radar being so, so psychic as well

The thing about Frank & Margaret is that while we hate Frank for Margaret (because we know later Margaret), it’s also extremely good that they fully are set up as the counter couple to Hawkeye & Trapper. Like 1000%. Those are the two couples. Constantly engaged in battle.

Was briefly considering if this should have gone before ‘Bananas, Crackers, and Nuts’ in my viewguide, but have decided it’s funnier if Hawkeye hits on Frank so much after the one where he pretends to be in love with him, like it puts the idea into his head.

Wait the boys brought Frank daisies???! Huge Frederick Chilton visiting Will Graham in the hospital tbh

1x12 ‘Dear Dad’

‘The Longjohn Flap’ is the first true And They Were All So Cold episode in that it’s the plot, but I was loathe to forget that this one invented being bundled. Hawkeye in his scarf writing this letter to his dad....my absolute origin story.

I MISS GINGER. Her vibes with Hawkeye and Trapper were so good.

Father Mulcahy is So Cute, look at him!

Henry stressfully cajoling his unruly audience, “Let’s just can the jokes, I’d like to get right down to the sex,” did make me laugh

A whole interlude about how Trapper is the strapping sweetie-pie of the outfit, wow

WAIT this was the first time you would have seen Klinger!!??! And he was so rowdy!!! Wow wild intro for him

“Attention all personnel: when filling out GI insurance forms, be sure to state your age and sex at the time of your last birthday.” Innncredible.

What do you think a snail smells like anyway

I’d forgotten that the first time Hawkeye kissed Margaret, just out in the middle of camp as a bit, he then promptly volunteered to go down on her, in so many words. Y’know this is the other thing that makes his pursuit of all the nurses (slash everyone) work: he’s extremely keen on making sure they have a good time. “I’ve certainly done my share to keep up [the nurses] morale,” he wrote earlier, “but I’ve only got two hands.” This apparently is the perfect cocktail for an incorrigible flirt: 1 part complete willingness to embarrass yourself, 1 part complete willingness to be a service anything.

And then of course that scene is immediate followed by one where he makes a joke that Trapper is getting him pregnant. ~HAWKEYE PIERCE~

Hmmm. Hawkeye paused before getting on the chopper and tried to say goodbye to Trapper just in case, and Trapper went “Tell me when you see me!” Aw Trap…

“All the ladies of the ensemble” oh my god...<3

1x19 ‘The Longjohn Flap’

I love Radar and Henry so much

It’s actually all of the cots, they’re all taken from post-OP supply huh

Trapper dealing cards into the stove one by one…

It’s just soooo goooood watching Hawkeye comically cave to poor shivering sneezing Trapper, he’s so resistant and such a soft touch at once

Have I ever mentioned in public how much I love Radar's makeshift ear-muffs---surgical gauze layered under his radio headphones---that he uses for multiple season's worth of cold episodes. Man...Now That's Television

‘The Longjohn Flap’ is so perfect. Hawkeye listing out all the descriptors of the long underwear Trapper has just lost (“double weave! semi-woolen!”) while he just sits there in shock, Radar already trying to unbutton them off his chest.

Trapper: “Hey. Look what the giant rodent has on his body.” Why is this line killing me.

Loretta’s bizarre little cold voice is just the greatest, wtf

Y’know, this transition from Klinger, in a bandana but fatigues, trying to blow Frank up with a grenade, to now being outside in a dress in the cold and saying “I’m crazy, ask anybody. Crazy Klinger,” kind of works?

Hawkeye: “Only God knows where they are now…” [Cut to Father Mulcahy bringing a sentry coffee] Alan I want to kiss you on the cheek

It also works as a second Klinger episode that once again his closest relationship seems to be with Father Mulcahy. Incidentally, I’m also seeing where the Klinger & Mulcahy truthers are coming from lately.

“—which we own” Oh so now the 'johns are collective property of the two of you

Hawkeye’s sweet overwhelmed joy when he gets them back, oh my gOD

What is this!!!!!!!!!

1x17 ‘Sometimes You Hear the Bullet’

Loretta Swit’s “trying to figure out how to grab crouched-over Frank to move him out of her tent” acting is so, so funny

Loretta Swit’s “pointing where Frank was coming from” acting is, you guessed it, so, so funny

Admittedly, the way Tommy fully seems like Hawkeye’s wild gay friend, is incredible. McLean Stevenson’s reaction to Tommy kissing him though is just the bee’s knees & all the rest of her.

But…this episode does still throw me off a little! Not for nothing is I think their only homophobic joke from Hawkeye? Unless we want to count “If you kiss me I’ll throw up,” but he says that while eyeing Trapper over a sip of his drink so it still just feels flirty ultimately.

“I’d give you a kiss but I…can’t move my head” is just quite good as a line I’ll give you

God I’m so sorry ‘Sometime You Hear the Bullet’, but look at that I’ve just come right back down on you again. It just doesn’t work for me! It’s too quick, you can’t introduce a character I’ve never heard of before, tell me he’s one of Hawkeye’s best friends, and kill him 10 minutes later, and not have me just looking at all the brush strokes and not the picture.

1x21 ‘Sticky Wicket’

“You go right to Major Houlihan, you set your jaw firmly, and you look into those cool, killer eyes of hers and you tell her I’ll be right there.” McLeeaaaaan

Radar waking up Hawkeye is always the cutest. I’m injured.

Sorry sorry to just bag again on ‘Sometimes You Hear the Bullet’, but really, I just feel like its relative emotional depth is shown up in sophistication by even just a few of these other S1 episodes. Margaret going from threatening Hawkeye with a formal complaint in one scene to the two of them working seamlessly together in the operating room in the next, and that’s the point, is so much more real about the nature of living in a surgical hospital camp during a war, if that’s what it is that 'Sometimes You Hear' is supposed to be giving.

Hawkeye, operating: “What’s the score, John?” John, minding the patient’s vital signs: “He’s doing pretty well, considering what you’re doing to him.” I can’t really explain exactly what emotion this inspires in me, but it sure does it

Putting this one right after the episode where he loses Tommy does give Hawkeye’s behavior in this one a specific interpretive flavor. Not sure if I prefer that though; there doesn’t always have to be reasons, you know?

Trapper hauls Hawkeye away from trying to murder Frank by the waist. Just FYI.

Ah and yes also the first time we see Trapper just physically steer him out of the hospital. Hawkeye is upset and Trapper has gone hands-on. Hmm I was probably going to rest easier before I noticed this.

The “I told you to leave me alone, Trapper,” bit, TRULY ...truly

Wait then Trapper ACTUALLY SHOWS UP, with booze. And literally is like, so is she helping? Wow? Wow.

Was this the first one that started on how Margaret is very good at her job

Y’know what, one of S1’s hottest episodes is: ‘Sticky Wicket’. This episode has everything: The very beginnings of Hawkeye & Margaret, Besties. Operating on war victims feeling like it has Consequences. Trapper jilted that Hawkeye left him for two nights, then relenting and being like [literally chucking his cheek] baby at least you came back. :) The first shower scene in my viewguide. McLean Stevensen sleep mask acting. And what's that? Why, it's Radar O’Reilly.

1x20 ‘The Army-Navy Game’

I do love how open Hawkeye always is with his fear. It’s nice.

Had missed before that Margaret is fully just leaning on Trapper as they cower near Henry comma concussed

“Yeah yeah, don’t panic, I’m doing that for everybody. Go inside.” LOVE Leadership Pierce, when it kicks in.

Army brass: “Call me at half-time, will ya Captain?” Hawkeye, amazed, mockingly polite-society: “Certainly.” Army brass: “If I don’t hear from you, I’ll understand.” This Catch-22 shit in this episode is SO GOOD

Wait so was S1 just entirely the Klinger/Mulcahy hours and I just never noticed the pattern

Henry: “One foot, can you imagine!” Radar: “Twelve inches!” Literal lol

Henry: “….It’s whose?” [scene cut] Hawkeye: “The CIA!?” Sublime.

Reading off the flyer: “Give yourselves up. You can’t win. - Douglas MacArthur” It's perfect.

*****

Viewguides (selected episodes for each season; M*A*S*H reduced like a gravy)

Misc. MASH (formless notes from my watches)

#M*A*S*H hours (all this & More)

#“S1 revisited” is here #Misc. MASH #M*A*S*H hours #M*A*S*H

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thekrows-nest · 2 years ago

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(anon)

What would happen if Dove was every bit as cautious and aloof as Gabby? Maybe they even live together.

They’re not interested in him past customer service or he even gets barred from the cafe. Maybe Dove is actually kinda rude.

They always walk out of work with at least one or two others to carpool home (and go together/run straight out to the waiting carpool in the morning). The route home is hard to tail on a scooter. They have buff jock flatmates and there’s always someone else home. Maybe it’s in a block of flats with access cards and they’re on the third floor.

Due to cheap rent Dove sleeps in a shared room with bunks. They are all so close they hang out in the same rooms, text constantly and never shut their doors. The tv is never on loud, nobody wears headphones and someone is always waiting for Dove to get out of the shower so they can go in.

No web presence, device cameras are taped over and security is good, they don’t go out. Groceries and whatever else they shop in a group.

They have security cameras everywhere outside, the phone line and power box are inaccessible to tamper with and their blinds are always shut/windows are frosted. The ‘birdwatching’ is fruitless.

There are rose bushes under the ground floor windows and the drainpipe is greased. There might be dogs that go nuts at any approach. (The dogs are walked in a group by people who are not Dove.)

A nosy nonna neighbour is always watching and starts prying very obviously if she sees an assumed man going to/hanging around Dove’s flat.

If Krow pretended to be a delivery guy someone else answers the door. If he tried to pose as a repairman to plant cameras or leave a window unlocked one of the roomies is tech savvy/works in it and recognises what he’s doing. Better yet they know the usual maintenance man and ring to check why a random showed up.

Maybe they call the handyman directly to ask where he is! Everything gets double checked directly with everyone involved and safety apps with panic features are on every phone. Nobody runs out to check on a weird noise, opens the door without expecting to see that person, or investigates a baby crying.

None of the roomies will befriend Krow, let him rent there, date him or even let him infiltrate as a one night stand. (I’ve decided they’re a very closed possessive polycule.)

No matter what Krow does he just cannot get past small talk or snatch Dove. Every base is covered, this will never change and he’s getting frustrated because nothing is possible.

What is he gonna do?

hehe get bonked idiot 🍿

"...I s-suppose a change in t-tactics is in o-order..."

Krow's a yandere, and a persistent one at that. He won't give up. If going to Dove directly won't do it, he'll have to... change things up.

If Dove is that hostile to him in the beginning, he'll back off and just become a silent observer. Studying habits, routines, all the little tics and motions of everyone in the group. Even if it takes a long time, even if it takes a lot of effort. He'll get Dove.

I'll say this will most likely end in them getting kidnapped, since they wouldn't give him the time of the day in the first place (and what else is a lovestruck desperate yan to do?)

Getting there though would involve a LOT of trickery, plotting, slowly picking the others off, and even calling in favors if he really must (not his first choice, but if he's gotta to get to Dove, well). Figuring out the maintenance companies Dove (and the group as a whole uses) to figure out things like banking information of the others, routines, what are faults in their flat and so on.

And if he has to pick off the neighbors too? So be it.

Nonna neighbor will get into... an accident. Or they hear something about their grandkids, urgently have to move out. Something of that nature. But such things happen, it's hardly a coincidence, right? (And keep in mind, Krow would be way off in the background in all this, he wouldn't have made his presence known again to Dove, let alone the others).

Once the tertiary folks are taken care of, it's the other roomies. Those are probably the ones he really needs to get in favors from other yan friends. Something happens with their work, the car, they have a family emergency. Slowly some misinformation is fed into the group to cause cracks. Just... carefully, carefully, orchestrating so the group falls apart. One member moves out because they got a better job offer outside the city they can't refuse. Another's parent(s) passed away or had some medical emergency. They live out of state and have no one else to depend on, they must go to them. Things like that, trickled in so it's really not suspect. Just unfortunate business of life.

All till eventually Dove is alone, isolated. And like I mentioned earlier, it'll end with Dove in the cage. (:

#krow asked and answered #the krow's nest

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non-binary-bunny · 2 years ago

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Hehe, get bonked, idiot >:)

#cookie run #cookie run ovenbreak #timekeeper cookie #cr ovenbreak #time pastries #artists on tumblr #cookierun #time balance department #traditional art #art #cookie run fanart #cr ob #millennial tree cookie #digital arwork #digital art

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apaise · 5 months ago

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[ almost ] vivi @ nami

out of everything nami's stolen in her entire cat burgling career, a princess may be her favorite. vivi's hand is hot in hers as nami guides her deftly through the crowd, her soft laughter tickling nami's ear as they turn sharp corners ( it's been a while since she's heard that sweet sound ). when she glimpses back, she can see the confused looks on the suitors' faces as they search desperately for their pretty princess -- unfortunately in the greedy clutches of a rogue.

normally, nami wouldn't have to resort to such elementary tricks to fight off vivi's admirers -- she would happily tell them off to their faces -- but it was harder to be so flippant in front of king cobra. while he's been nothing but kind and appreciative towards the crew . . . nami doesn't want to test that generosity, not when visits with vivi could be at stake. they're already lucky to be here in disguise, none of the denizens and visiting dignitaries having a single clue there's pirates in their midst.

it's already risky for them to be associating with vivi as it is, and yet nami can't help but add just a dash to the danger, if it means she can spend more time with her alone. with two particularly keen suitors still hot on their heels, nami finally tugs vivi into the safety of the curtains beside the balcony, the princess and the thief disappearing amongst the layered silks.

there's less room than nami predicted in this impromptu hiding spot, her back touching the wall far sooner than expected ( she isn't quite used to hiding for two, but she'd like to be ) . fearing that vivi's feet may be poking out, nami pulls her a little closer; the sudden gesture has vivi stumbling and falling perfectly into her arms. she's so warm up close, smelling of something like jasmine, sandalwood. pressed so tight together, nami can feel her heart beating -- pounding -- or is it her own? her arms circle vivi a little nearer under the guise of safety, yet nothing feels more dangerous than this closeness. nami looks down just as vivi tilts her head up, and suddenly there's a brush of soft skin --

❝ there you guys are! 🎶 ❞ a jubilant cry shatters through the hazy happiness as chopper suddenly pulls the curtains open, carrying skewers of candied fruits as he sways from side to side. he must've smelled their perfume. ❝ hehe. look what teracotta gave me! ❞ on instinct, nami bonks him on the head with her fist, suddenly infuriated.

chopper yelps and clutches his head. ❝ huh -- WHY?! ❞ he exclaims in rightful confusion, and nami feels guilty watching him ( but not enough to apologize. ) ❝ never mind! go find zoro! ❞ she shoos him off. ❝ ah! did he get outside again?! ❞ chopper panics, quick to take up on the quest as he scurries off, nami's fist punching the side of her hip as she watches him.

❝ these idiots. ❞ she mutters to herself, swift to ascribe the crime to all of them; no doubt luffy would've pounced too. she turns to vivi with a sigh and softer smile. ❝ sorry vivi. ❞ sorry for almost -- sorry we didn't get to --

#( LOTS OF GODMODDING LMK if anything needs to be changed )#( '3' was feeling the nuse for the girlies )#( dead nami hitting chopper feels 10x more brutal with live action IM' SORRY MY BOY IT'S THE ANIME SLAPSTICK )#fatescattered #( c: nami )#( v: one piece )

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athyathye · 3 years ago

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HIII! since ur requests r open can i pls request having a s/o that likes to curse in another language but the boys don't know and they think what s/o's saying is a compliment for example : "HAHAHAHAH tangina ang bobo nating dalwa ngayon" [ translation: HAHAHAHAHA fuck we're both so dumb right now ] and they're like "was that a compliment if it is hehe i know i'm perfect" can the characters be ran, baji, andd mikey i'm sorry if this seems to detailed 😭😭 ty for ur hard workkk <33 pls take breaks and rests

Tokyo revengers! Characters reacting to you cursing in another language!

Author’s note 📝: I really hope Google and Reddit was a good choice of translation and stuff lmao

Warnings ⚠️: Cursing! ✨ in a different language ✨ I think that's it, but look out for more!

Ran :

“Ah, tatanga tanga naman kasi ‘tong bobo na ‘toh” You glanced disapprovingly at Ran who had an award winning smile on his calm, callous face. You turned to Rindou who looked at you curiously. His eyebrow twitched along the pained groan of a person on the ground.

(Translation : Ah, this stupid imbecile only does stupid things)

“What does that mean? Are you cursing at me or my brother?” He asked, his hand coming to scratch at his neck, fighting off the urge to fight alongside his greedy older brother, having been tasked to look after you so desperate gang members wouldn’t get funny ideas.

“It probably means ‘Ran’s so handsome even with blood on his face!” Or somethin’ ” Your boyfriend smiled, mischievously sneaking a hand on your shoulder as he tilted your face to meet his.

“You got it, babe~ Aren’t you lucky you bagged this hunk of a man?”

‘Hunk? You mean troublemaker’ You rolled your eyes, deeming it too early for Ran’s over-confident statements. You ignored the look of disgust on Rindou’s face. Opting to stay quiet even when a fist flew towards the back of his head.

You turned to the person beside you, a fellow who knew exactly what you had said.

“Should I tell them-” “Tell them and I’ll kick you out myself.”

Ah what a fun day being Ran’s significant other-

*Bonk!*

“Oh you- ‘Toh dahilan kung bakit di ka mahal ng nanay mo!!!”

( Translation : Oh you- This is why your mom doesn’t love you!!! )

Baji :

“Y/n! Describe Baji in 3 words! Go!” Chifuyu suddenly shouted from behind you. Taking your gaze away from the snack you were eating, you turned around. Meeting the group of men who surrounded your significant other.

He had a scowl on his face, acting like he didn’t want to know what you were going to say, but the way he looked back and forth to you and to the side told you he was just as curious as the men who looked like dogs waiting for a bone to chew.

“Hmm…” You looked down at your pajamas. Having been dragged out of the comfort of your bed for some stupid meeting that Baji wanted you to attend. Even if you weren’t a member.

“Culero… Pendejo….Cabrón.” you listed as you turned back to gossipping and the snack you were eating. Meanwhile, back at Baji’s side, the boys all wore faces of disappointment or sweatdrops.

( Translation : *sshole… Idiot/*sshole...B*stard/D*mbass )

“....That wasn’t helpful at all…” Chifuyu murmured, turning to look back at his group, only to see the shining eyes of Baji.

‘What the-’ He thought as he smacked Takemichi’s arm, urging him to look at the older boy.

“Damn, I knew you thought I was good-looking but not to that extent.” Baji looked so smug as he spoke loudly, causing you to turn around with a frown on your face, you sighed before shaking your head.

“You know what that means?”

“Do I look like I can speak y/n?”

“I don’t even know what language that was-”

“Doesn’t one of those words mean ‘Dumb*ss?’ ” One of them spoke up, they all glanced at the person before turning to look at Baji. Who furiously tried to deny it.

“Hell nah! My girl speaks like that to me everyday! Of course I’d know what it means! It’s obviously handsome or some other attractive pet name!” He persisted, grabbing the guy’s collar.

“Don’t be putting dirty words in my girlfriend’s mouth, b*stard.”

...Yikes who’s gonna tell him-

Mikey :

It was surely a heated argument. One that would make everybody in the room feel awkward and uncomfortable. Everybody glanced at each other then to their leader and his girlfriend sitting on a couch far away from each other.

It seems as though there was a huge rain cloud on top of you both, continuously raining and thundering that the rest were afraid to even breathe near you guys.

“...Stop being such a b*tch already...I said I was sorry.” He finally turned to you after 5 minutes of silence. Everybody held their breaths, feeling their own heart rate fasten by Mikey’s choice of words.

"Vaffanculo, Stronzo” You replied, not bothering to give him a look, you hid your lips and turned your face farther away from where he was sitting. You felt the area beside you dip, assuming it’s Mikey you tried to stand, only to have a hand grasp your wrist.

(Translation : F*ck you, Assh*le)

“You know, you taught me those words a while ago...I remember you saying those meant good things.” He smiled, as brightly as the sun. Brightly as if you both didn’t have a huge argument. Meanwhile, you froze. A realization hitting you as your face flushed, trying not to laugh.

You felt Mikey bury his head on your back. “How can I stay mad at you when you’re cute like this? Acting like I wouldn’t understand you in a different language.” He felt your body vibrate, and took at a sign that you were embarrassed which made him all the more joyous.

But boy oh boy were you actually struggling not to laugh out loud.

“Don’t talk to me. I’m still mad at you” You broke free from his grip, turning to leave before he could hold you back once again. Though, best believe he chased after you. The rest breathed a sigh of relief after witnessing the main couple make up...that was until Emma spoke up.

“Who’s going to tell Mikey the meaning…?”

“Not it!” “Not it!”

“Darn…”

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo revengers x you #tokyo revengers crack #tokyo revengers scenarios #haitani ran x reader #ran x reader #mikey x reader #sano manjiro x reader #baji x reader #keisuke baji x reader

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jayeeintheclouds-inactive · 3 years ago

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so the official huxiao collab art made me feel things 😳

look at them just look

@captaincryolicious i finally did it 😩

Notes: bi! reader, gn reader, chaotic fluff scenario, hu tao x reader x xiao, oh the woes of being biro and playing a game filled with hot people

Summary: When your friend Ayaka drags you to visit a cafe with her, you don’t expect to fall in love with someone that day, much less two people. Two very cute people.

the last thing you expected when you went to this new cafe in liyue was to meet two insanely pretty people.

the moment you and ayaka step into the cafe, a brunette girl shoves her face to yours excitedly, and your noses almost touch

that was the exact moment you died #ripy/n2021 BECAUSE SHE WAS SO CUTE

WITH HER TWINTAILS AND FLOWERS IN HER EYES

you deadass blushed on the spot and she giggled (hu tao knows the exact effect she has on people i swear)

and then another (hot) mf comes up behind her “idiot. you’re going to scare them away. look, they’re already frozen in place.”

HOLY FUCK ITS A DUDE

his shirt is s-sleeveless 😳 and you think you stared at his shoulder tattoo a little too long BUT HE’S SO PRETTY OMG AND HIS EYES ARE SO ATTRACTIVE

bi panic bi panic BI PANIC ALERT

OH NO AYAKA CAUGHT YOU LOWKEY SIMPING RETREAT

yeah anyway the both of you were brought to a table and they took your orders (more like ayaka had to order for you because you practically malfunctioned being in the two amazing beings’ presence)

you swear hu tao was laughing at you but omg her laugh is so cute so you didn’t care <3

timeskip to when your orders are done and hu tao serves you your drink and wINKS AT YOU

this is canon im mhy

“ayaka, catch me if i faint,” you mutter to her just after hu tao leaves, and ayaka has to control her giggles

and then xiao serves your pastries next 🥰🥰🥰

“here’s your order, please enjoy” and y/n went into helphisvoiceissolowandhesoundssohothelpwhatdoidoimliterallysimpingsohard mode 😔

and then while you were enjoying your food (and being in the presence of lord xiao and lady hu tao <3) the latter suddenly prances up to you despite xiao’s warnings not to disturb you while you were eating (what a gentleman smh)

and she boldly asks you “may i have your number? my friend the emo yaksha there and i are really interested in you, hehe. i’ll even give you 50% off coupons on your next visit to my family’s funeral parlor-”

her head was bonked 🏏 by xiao

“i terribly apologise for her behaviour,” he says BLUSHING??? OMG

his shyness killed you there and then and ayaka had to catch you falling 🤡

even though you did end up getting their numbers (or ayaka helped you do it because you were too flustered) you probably died from simping in the end

whatever 👺 YOU GOT TWO HOTTIES’ NUMBERS WOOHOO CONGRATS

not putting a lot of tags this time besties so help reblog if you enjoyed it <3

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin fluff #hu tao fluff #xiao fluff #hu tao x reader #xiao x reader #hu tao #xiao #ayaka

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blazeismyname · 8 months ago

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I HAVE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT AND ITS OVERWHELMING ME I AM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH AND DROPPING DEAD!!!

I'm gonna lock in on my current project to get to this one because this one I'd SUPER special to me now

OK, CONTINU8NG

All the details of the old story are so interesting? If you're able to send it over, I would LOVE to listen because I'm kinds into hearing the real stories behind classic Disney movies (cause in its because of my Mechs OC (who technically started this all because I drew him in the yellow gown and made a joke that Jonny would be the beast)).

ALL THE QUOTES ARE JUST. EATS. CONSUMES. YOURE NOT SWEING THEM AGAIN, TYEYRE IN NY THROAT

Brian tied to a tree, but. But it's hanged man style- BUT I LOVE THE BEING TIED TO A TREE AND CARMILL HAVING TO GET HIM TO SETTLE THE MOB. CAUSE ALSSO LIKE, ITS SHOWS A SENSE OF TRUST IF YKNOW EHAT I MEAN??? LIKE, A GOOD FEW WOULD LEAVE HIM TO THE TREE TO "PROTECT" HIM FROM THE BAST BUT CARMILLA KNOWS WHO THE BEAST IS AND TRUSTS HER SON TO KNOW WHAT HE FEELS??? IDK, I THINK I MIGHT SOUND STUPID LOL

Also.. YES. We need the Out angst!!!! Nastya realizing fully how bad of an idea that was and can't bear with it... and instead of not recognizing Aurora anymore, she can't recognize Jonny anymore (which allows her room to come back toooo!!!!!!)

And yes, Carmila enchanting her inventions, love it. In secret, though, cause wasn't being a witch or having any form of magic pretty illegal in the time period?

BRIAN BEFORE HE WAS ROBOT BEING SENT TO THE WOODS BECAUSE HE WAS CONVICTED AS A WITCH IN A DIFFERENT TOWN AND THEY KNEW HE COULDNT SURVIVE THAT- TO BRING IN BRIAN'S BACKSTORY!!!!

Everything with Brian making Tim the guitar- it's killing me because small guitar, but Brian would also know how to put instruments together and probably saw Lumim (official name now /hj) side eyeing one. And since Brian, being so full of kindness and love and heard, gifts him one

EVERYTHING. EVERTHYING YOU SAID ABOUT TOY AND MARIUS AND AGGGAGGAGA, AND ALSO, TOY JUST BONMING MARIUS IS SO CLEAR IN MY HEAD-THE BONK SOUND EFFECT PLAYING AT TS HAS ITS ARM DIRECTLY OUT AND JUST FIRMLY CONKS MARIUS-

All I'm picturing is Brian and Jonny in the same chair after Brian showing Jonny sheet music and Jonny sits back a little and Brian starts hearing the purring and is like "HUH- WHERED THAT-" than noticed it's his very fluffy companion

SHEET MUSIC BOOK. AHAGABDWJBE FOAMING AT THE MOUTH, I THINK I HAVE RABIES- THATS SO GOOD AND ITS SO FITTING AND *promptly dies*

Toy paying them is just fucking hilarious. Just like "Gosh, Marius does seem low! I'll give these fine three 10 (insert currency, I can't remember) to make him happy!"

Also... Virgin Marius is killing me - him talking so much shit but has never actually pulled any sort of bitches- (I know that's not exactly what being a virgin means, but I don't wanna like... go into that for my own comfortability :) )

I think, personally, castle was always just big and spooky in our version. Bright colors hurt Jonny's eyes /j. But yes, big spooky mansion, yum yum, consumeths

OK, SO I WAS THINKING ABOUT BERTIE AND TIM AGAIN CAUSE IDIOT, WE LOVE EM!!!! AND IN THE MUSICAL, THE FEATHER DUSTER A LUMIERE HAVE LIKE AN ON AND OFF RELATIONSHIP- SO INSTEAD ITS JUST BERTIE AND TIM BEING LIKE, FAKE GAY TOWARD EACHOTHER LIKE TEENAGE BOYS LIKE "*scoff* Tim? You don't love me anymore?""I'm sorry, Bertie, but I romance is doomed to fail- *dramatic little fall* For you are the Moon and I am the sun-" AND EVENTUALLY EVERYONE IS SO OVER IT

Brian holding Jonny's face, sifting his hand through the thick, furrish hair, making sure he's ok after the wolf scene and Jonny just leans into the hands like a big fucking cat (he is one, who are we kidding?) >>>>>

That's enough for now- I lost half an hour of sleep because I was so excited to write this so now my brain isn't ideaing. Bye, I'll be back with more hehe

Beauty and the Beast, but it's the Mechanisms.

Jonny must be the beast because feral Jonny and the whole heart thing... prove me wrong.

Tim or Brian is Belle.

Rest of the Mechs are the servants in the Beast's house. With an exception for Marius as Gaston cause I can totally fucking see it. He would suck at it though because it's Marius. And also, short Marius HC.

This is probably not new. But it's been brewing in my head for a good few months, ever since I put my Mechs OC in the iconic Belle dress.

#creations and consequences #i like that nane #the mechanisms #the mechs

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mrpenguinpants · 4 years ago

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Childe: First Kiss HCs

I tend to make things gender neutral by not putting in pronouns and just using “you” but you can definitely read this as female^^ But I completely agree, I love this boy so much. He’s my favourite character to play (im so sorry razor) until Xiao comes out. I literally have a genshin team named “waiting for xiao” and it’s just Childe and Zhongli haha.

---

Today’s appreciation post goes to childes-starconch. Fitting that this is a Childe fic but ty for your support^^ I always notice you pop up as soon as I post a fic and I really enjoy seeing you. Hopefully you read this since tumblr won’t let me tag people, for whatever reason I don’t know anymore, but just saying hey, I see you 💕💕

---

I’m just gonna piggy back off my last Childe fic. I’m sorry.

Semi Part 1: Fiance HCs [honestly, one of my favourites haha]

Xiao Ver: First Kiss HCs

Venti & Kaeya: Mistletoe HCs

Venti, Xingqiu, and Razor: Kissing HCs

[Masterlist]

---

[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@hanniejji @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover@youaskedfurret @snowy224

@youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @dandelily @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife @dokidokisama @simpygrimoire @minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess

For some reason I can’t @ certain people. I’m talking to tumblr about it.

---

Childe: First Kiss HCs

Childe was never one to shy away from affection, be it holding your hand in his or wrapping an arm around you, he was always happy to be close to you. He was always a bit territorial which lead to some embarrassing situations for you but it was from a good place in his heart. But when it came to public kisses, he preferred to keep it between you two. It felt too private of a moment that he didn’t want to broadcast to the rest of the Fatui, especially to the other Harbingers. That is to say, if he actually kissed you in the first place. For all the two braincells Childe had, one was fighting and the other was protecting his loved ones, just imagining kissing you was too much for him and he needed to go find some poor recruit and beat his inner problems out. The Fatui recruitment process would always dwindled down during his inner turmoil sessions that Scaramouche himself, had to throw his goddamn hat at Tartaglia, and yell at him to hurry up and fix his problem. It was clogging up the air.

When he tried to think about it, it shouldn’t be this hard to simply lean in for a kiss. But it was his first and while Childe might run into whatever danger or prospect of a fight without a second thought, he didn’t want to ruin it. What if he accidently bonked his forehead with yours? He should remove his mask then right? Just in case? He’s only given forehead and cheek kisses to his younger siblings so it should be the same right? Yeah he could do this, this was just another battle for Tartaglia to conquer!

But whenever he would see you or you would both sit and bask in each other’s presences. He couldn’t bring himself to initiate something or heck, even looking at your face made him a bit hot under the collar in sub-zero temperatures. He can almost hear Scaramouche and Signora laughing maniacally at him behind their hands. He’s the youngest of the Harbingers, he should get a “get out of jail for free” card that all youngest children have whenever they get into trouble. But in this case it’s murder. He quickly slaps his cheeks to get his mind off fighting for one second which startles you beside him.

The first time you’ve seen Childe shy was when he first confessed to you, stuttering that he liked you and just really badly wanted to hold your hand without using the frost of Sneznaya as an excuse. You flushed pink but nodded that you returned his feeling and slipped your hand in his. Whatever shyness Childe had was quickly wiped off his face and he cheered and brought you in for an eskimo kiss. Rubbing your nose with his as he laughed in joy, the tips of his ears and cheeks still coloured pink. You always hold that memory dear to your heart because not only was it the start of your relationship, it was the first time you felt you were staring at Ajax. Not Childe. Not Tartaglia. Just Ajax.

But now, you’re not to sure what to call this. Lately he seemed to be out of it, always staring off into space or frowning at some poor poor snowmen that did not deserve that much pressure. Was being a harbinger starting to take it’s toll on him? Did something terrible happen to his family or was the Tsaritsa being too hard on him? You were beginning to get concerned because you’ve never seen this much mental turmoil in him. This never really happened before and he usually bounced back pretty fast. Would it be better if you left him be and he sorted it out himself? Would it be better if you asked?

Childe is startled out of his thoughts of possible committed murder because he’s too scared to ask his own partner if kissing was something they could do, when he felt your hand slowly nudge his. No matter how many times he holds your hand, you’re always warm. It could be snow storming outside and the only heater he would need would be you. He offers a small but warm smile as he laces his fingers with yours. He remembers when you first started going out he was so scared about boundaries and what was okay. Brushing your fingers together and overall, not doing a good job at saying he wanted to hold hands that even he cringes slightly at his younger self - even though it wasn’t that long ago and he’s doing it again just with kisses - but now he borderline clings to you like some overgrown animal. Scaramouche’s words, not his.

It’s still evening in Snezhnaya and the Tsaritsa herself seems to be taking a vacation because there’s only a light snow falling down between the two of you. You’re both sitting outside his house while his family is inside, warm and having fun playing games. He breathes in, closes his eyes, and let’s the world fade away just a second. He slowly brings his other hand to cup your cheek, his hands are always numb and the tiny pin pricks are dancing on his fingers again before they fade away too, and guides you towards him so he can place a small kiss on your fore head. Then tilts your face to the side so he can kiss your cheek. Brings his nose near yours to nuzzle against. Then hesitates when his lips hover above yours.

“Ajax is there something bothering you?” you ask softly, you’re so close to each other that all you can see is him. The small puffs of breathe you both take bounce off each other’s face before evaporating into the air. You never really took the time to appreciate Ajax’s bright blue eyes. His pupil from this distance seems to be slitted too.

“Hm? Ah no, of course not. Where did you get that idea?” he tries to laugh it off and tries to move back before you quickly bring your hand to the back of his head and nudge him forward so he stays in place. It wasn’t like him to run away from something, it was really starting to bother you what could get Ajax of all people to retreat from something.

“You know if there’s anything that’s bothering you, you can talk to me right?” you asked as you brought both your hands to cup his face as you softly rubbed circles just under his ear. He closed his eyes and hmmed happily at your actions and nuzzled further into your hand before turning his head inward to kiss your palm. Before relaxing and parting his eyelids half way as he seemed to be back in concentration mode. Before awkwardly saying what was troubling him these past few days.

“So wait, you mean to tell me that this entire time I was worried about you. How out of it you were and how many fights you’ve been getting into. Was because you wanted a kiss?” you asked dumfounded as he pouted but nodded. You sighed but bonked your foreheads together softly, “You’re such an idiot....C’mere.”

“Wha-”

You grab the scarf on his harbinger uniform and tug him forward as your lips slot over his. You kiss him hard and for a few seconds as Ajax just stares at you as his brain tries to catch up, before his eyes seem to dilate and he kisses you back just as hard. All his past worries are quickly thrown out the window as slowly pushes you on your back, cushioned by the soft snow, as he basks in the feeling. It’s a bit sloppy given this is both your first kisses but that’s what adds to the charm. You both have to separate at some point for oxygen but Childe looks like he’s ready to dive in again.

“One more,” he pants as he goes in for another but you quickly place your hand in the way so he ends up kissing your palm. He whines but you chuckle at him, place a small kiss on the back of your palm of where his lips would be, and push him off you. You’re both still outside his families home and you aren’t in the mood to be caught in this kind of position. Especially not in front of his younger siblings. He rests his cheek on your shoulder and looks at you, trying to make his eyes bigger and look like a kicked puppy. You sigh as you give a small pet on his head, running your fingers through your hair. What a troublesome partner you’ve gotten.

“Alright, one more.”

---

My entire taglist was just made for the “Enemies” to “Lovers” post and I still haven’t started hehe. Trust me, it’s coming. I’ve got requests for it and we’re slowly getting there. The entire time I’m writing this I’m just thinking “honey..no, that’s not how this works.” God you’re so dumb. I hate you. You’re my favourite character. Pour one out for Xiao, I was going to make this a crack fic too but ended up making it somewhat serious.

So yeah, xiao is a cat and childe is a fox. In other news, water is wet. But I did actually google fox behaviors just for this shitpost. ALRIGHT TIME TO SPIN THE WHEEL OF “WILL TUMBLR BE NICE TO ME?” OR DO I NEED TO DOUBLE REPOST AGAIN.

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jak-of-the-trade · 3 years ago

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ahem

just found you, saw your reqs were open, and i decided i would very much like to hop on this color wachuchu thing ☝

sage green + Tendou Satori + "giving him a kiss on his forehead as his best friend but you two are mutually pining for each other and are simply a bunch of pussies"

NO BC I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SEND U AN ASK TOO

i dont think ive ever written for tendou before, or anyone from shiratorizawa for that matter, so apologies in advance if this is ooc but i hope u like it hehe

send a character + colour + scenario for a drabble!

sage green leaves.

you were seated on a picnic table with him, you on the bench and him on the table, gently wrapping his fingers with bandages as he watched, twitching every now and then when it stung a bit more.

“this is why you need to be careful.” you scolded, dabbing a bit of cotton in the antiseptic.

he pouted. “but i’m an athelete,” he argued, his face the literal embodiment of the :( emoticon.

“so? that isn’t even related, sato! you tripped on a pebble, somehow, not a volleyball!”

“if you think about it hard enough, pebbles are volleyballs, just really tiny, right?”

you bonked his head, continuing to treat his scraped fingers, ignoring his previous comment.

that wasn’t very effective, though, because the moment you’d deprived him of attention, he’d demand for more.

“c’mon, y/n, you can’t ignore me! i did so well last match, didn’t i? stole the spotlight from ushijima! that gets me a pass, right!”

“no, you idiot.”

“but i made you sweets yesterday! i can make more, and we can dump some water on goshiki after practice if you’d like, and-”

you impulsively pecked his forehead to shut him up. the gesture took you by surprise, as well as him, and for a second the two of you shared a rare moment of silence.

“shut up,” you decided to add, because your brain couldn’t think of anything else.

well actually, it could, it wanted to say i like you, but neither of you were ready for that, now were you?

#` to you ; from jak '#tendou x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu fluff

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ackermanbitch · 4 years ago

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Hi, I can try to solve your "wanting to write a marvel fic" problem hehe

Can I request one for Pietro Maximoff x Reader?

Maybe one where (Y/n) is on a mission with the avengers (where Pietro is alive post AOU)

Idk whether you'd rather the reader has powers, or if they're more like black widow or tony stark - it's up to you!

But either way, (Y/n) gets bonked on the head (thinking of that B O N K meme rn) and accidentally sabotages the mission while they're slightly concussed and confused.

All the avengers are like "dang the heck why is (Y/n) messing it up", and then Pietro has to stop (Y/n) from being an idiot inadvertently.

I'm sorry if this is really strange haha I literally just made it up, I don't mind - make it any story as long as it's Pietro x Reader! That is, if you want to write it at all. No pressure, I don't mind at all. Thanks so much if you do decide to write 🥰💞🥰💞

UGH THANK YOU BABE i am obsessed with pietro so i will try not to disappoint

pairing: pietro maximoff x gn!reader

warnings: fighting and mentions of blood, and lots of cursing

also y/n has powers like mantis, empathy and telepathy

y/n sighed, brushing their hands off after putting another hydra agent to sleep. "some of these people really going through it.." they mumbled, stretching their arms up above their head. they took a look around them, the coast being sorta clear. "a break is in ord- JESUS FUCK- O-OW-" the coast was not clear.

a loud ringing noise was all the young hero could hear, black dots flooding their senses. 'am i on the ground? holy fucking shit, that..hurt.' they thought, face first on the ground.

they pushed themselves up, stumbling. "oww.." they whispered, turning around as slow as possible to barely see yet another hydra agent holding a bat.

"who brings a bat...to fight the avengers? are you dumb? that's stupid as fuck, coming from someone who just got the living shit knocked out of them. you are an idiot you know that? a dumbass. a fucking dumbass? why a bat?! did your boss think, 'this bitch is too stupid for a gun, i'll give them a bat' that's how dumb you are!"

the agent just stood there, absolutely stunned, raising the bat again.

"(y/n)? (y/n), what the hell are you doing?" tony's voice came through on the comm. they scoffed and took the device out of their ear, tossing it to the side before raising their fist.

"fight me loo..mm. looo....ummmm..loser, yeah fight me loser! ugh..no, nevermind, give me a second.." they leaned forward, the agent swerving and watching them fall on their face once again.

(y/n) whined, getting on all fours. "OH MY GOD WHAT'S THAT?! TONY STARK?!" they yelled pointing behind the agent. once the dumbass looked, (y/n) grabbed their ankle, pulling them harshly. "now sleep." they said angrily, collapsing back onto their stomach after their opponent passed out.

"alright, my turn for a well deserved nap, goddamn.."

meanwhile..

"where's (y/n)?" pietro asked on comms, standing around a pile of unconscious bodies. "dunno, they disconnected after cussing someone out." tony answered nonchalantly.

the white haired speedster sighed, wiping some sweat from his forehead. "they're not far from you, i think they're behind that DMV, i saw an agent go back there so be careful." wanda told him, she had seen the empath about 20 minutes ago.

pietro nodded, running to said location with a worried face and scrunched eyebrows. "love?" he called out in a thick accent, running to the two unconscious people on the ground, one mumbling. "(y/n)?" he asked gently, kneeling next to them. "you're bleeding, cmere.." he mumbled, picking them up.

"p-..mmm..pietro! my head hurts, idiot hit me with a..with a bat. i cant really see." they muttered, reaching around for his face.

he laughed, "youre fine dummy, stark'll fix you, lets go."

"i can feel your worry from here m..mister, calm down." they said quietly before fainting again.

after taking (y/n) to the quinjet, pietro refused to set them down until they got to the compound. wanda held in her laughs for her hopeless romantic brother.

he loved them so much, no matter how clumsy they were.

he sat by (y/n)'s side during every scan, even while helen wrapped their now tender head, bringing them water and food when he could.

"man, that bitch packed a serious swing." (y/n) grumbled, stirring their meds into a smoothie. "would you still like me with a dent in my head pietro?" they asked with puppy eyes, the other young hero sitting on their pillow covered bed.

"of course love." he smiled, kissing the top of their head.

"ow be careful-"

a/n: the end lol, sorry it was 90% reader being dumb and like 10% pietro lmao also sorry i twisted the og request a bit, i kind of started improvising but i hope you liked it!

#pietro x reader #pietro maximoff x reader #mcu #avengers x reader #marvel #pietro #gender neautral #wanda maximoff #x reader #pietro x yn #avengers x yn #avengers x gender neutral reader

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jensungf · 4 years ago

Text

𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐑 & 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐄 ♥︎ 𝐥.𝐣𝐧

summary: sugar or spice? you decide what the ‘s’ in today’s episode of j♥︎smr stands for ;) ft. the pocky challenge gone wrong?

pairing: fem!reader + asmr youtuber!jeno genre: boyfriend!au + fluff + suggestive content!!!! + some humor cus i think im funny word count: 2.4k warnings: allusions to sex, making out lol

author’s note: soooo uh first time for everything aka writing sum suggestive hehe thank you mary @neostains for reading over this!!! and @gohyuck for helping make the title!! can you tell i’m whipped for jeno??? bc i definitely can.

“jenooooo,” you flopped over onto your stomach as your eyes followed the outline of boyfriend’s jawline, drinking in every part of his handsome face until you found his eyes. his rimmed glasses were perched on top of his nose as he mindlessly scrolled through his phone, not even bothering to look up. typical, you thought with pursed lips and a side-eye directed at your un-attentive idiot of a boyfriend. “what, baby?”

you sighed, outstretching your body on the bed before rolling over to look at him again. you prop yourself up on your elbow with your head rested in the palm of your hand. “i’m bored,” you whined.

“okay, what do you want to do?” he asked without missing a beat. it was already past noon, and as per your agreement before moving in together, sundays were strictly saved to stay in and relax. but for some reason, you were just itching to get out of bed.

you pondered over your options before exhaling in exasperation. “i have no idea! you figure it out.”

you didn’t even didn’t bother to bat an eyelash when you heard his immediate suggestion to go biking, instead groaning at your boyfriend’s obsession with the pastime. he never liked to leave the house unless it was the gym or going out to do something physical, much to your dismay.

“jeno, as much as i love you and my bike, my legs might give out if i even try to move from our bed,” you huffed, lips jutted out as you glanced down to your legs. goddamn, were they sore.

you groaned externally at the tension in your overworked muscles. you even had trouble getting up to make breakfast today. jeno had awoken to your whimpers of pain as you struggled to walk to the restroom, and instead of asking if you were okay, he had immediately burst out in laughter at your misery. your incessant whines prompted him to carry you back to bed after you finished washing up in the restroom, and he had sweetly brought you breakfast in bed with a side of cuddles to make up for what you deemed was “all his fault.” not that it actually was, but you weren’t going to admit that.

he finally lifted his eyes from the luminescent phone screen to your figure sprawled on the other side of your shared king size bed, his lips curling to a smug grin as he reached over to let his fingers graze your smooth legs. “wow, is my baby that sore?”

“yeah, yeah, whatever mister muscle pig. not all of us have the stamina of a horse,” you sniggered, pouting. you could never understand how strong and built jeno could be despite sharing almost the same diet as you. just your luck.

jeno’s smirk grew as leaned over, his warm breath tickling your ear. his voice dropped down multiple octaves as he whispered, “watch it princess, that’s not what you were saying last ni—“

you suddenly sat up, effectively cutting him as your boyfriend recoils to avoid bonking noggins with you. “wait, i know!” you announce, the sound of your boyfriend’s voice attempt to sound sexy suddenly triggering a lightbulb in your brain.

“hey! i was trying to say something,” he complained, causing you to roll your eyes.

“oh, please, your hormones can wait, big boy.”

he shot you a look of annoyance as you grinned mischievously, crawling over to his side. he gulped as he saw your oversized t-shirt ride up a bit, exposing more of your skin. you leaned in towards him, causing him to drop his phone, as the mere scent of you engulfed his senses. the sultry look on your face and your hot breath fanning against his ear caused goosebumps to prickle throughout every inch of his skin, and his breath hitched.

you whispered, “why don’t we—”

you paused as jeno’s smirk returned, biting his lip in anticipation.

“— do jsmr?” you finished with a laugh.

jeno groaned as his anticipation immediately died down. he shot you an incredulous look. “really, baby?”

“yes! now get your booty up!” you barked, tugging on his biceps to no avail. jeno sighed and bit back a smile before he got out of bed, shuffling his feet across the room. before you could cackle in delight, you felt your body being lifted off of the bed as jeno’s strong arms carried you bridal-style into the corridor. your arms flailed for a split-second before relaxing in his embrace. “show off,” you scoffed as your arms reached to circle around his neck.

he snorted. “aren’t you happy i’m a muscle pig?” you smiled and pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek.

“my man,” you drawl out sarcastically, squeezing his muscles and poking his chest jokingly.

jeno walked into the living room, carefully setting you down on the couch before heading into the kitchen. “what do you want to eat, babe?” he asked.

“on second thought, i’m actually not that hungry.”

jeno’s head whirled to your direction, “seriously? again?” you laughed at your boyfriend’s raised eyebrows and eyes bulging out of his sockets at your incessant teasing.

“i’m kidding, you can choose.”

jeno mumbled under his breath, “how ridiculous— we just went shopping last week— did jisung eat the ice cream again?” as he looked through the fridge. you couldn’t help but snort at how quickly your groceries had disappeared after a single visit by the boys. he rummaged through the pantry before a small aha! escaped his lips, having found the boxes of pocky you both stashed in the secret compartment of your pantry (yes, secret compartment, because everyone knew how quickly the boys would raid your food the moment they even stepped into the apartment). you decide to set up the camera and tripod, fiddling around and fishing for jeno’s set of microphones and earbuds from the desk.

“hey babe, where did you put the earbuds?” you called out. you bit your lip as you dug through the drawers, struggling to find where you had put your earbuds. “i’ll get it,” he responded.

you returned to the living room and admired your handiwork as you finished setting up the equipment. jeno returns with the snacks and earbuds.

“are you ready?” he asked, and you nodded your head eagerly as he reached over to start the camera, the red light flashing as the timer started.

“hi everyone!” you whispered-screamed, causing jeno to wince away from you. you bit back a laugh at your boyfriend’s anguished face and jeno sighed, continuing. “hi guys, welcome back to another episode of jsmr—“

“plus y/n!” you piped up. “today, we’re going to be doing the pocky challenge!” you announce excitedly despite only whispering.

“wait, what?” jeno’s volume is forgotten, causing both of you to flinch. “shhh, jeno!” you scolded.

he gave you an unamused look. “i wasn’t aware of this though!” he protested. you grinned cheekily before turning to the camera. “surprise! did you guys like his reaction??”

as much as you weren’t a huge fan of being in his videos, you figured it would be fun to let go for once and mess with your boyfriend.

jeno sighed and decided to go along with you, another idea formulating in his head. “anyway— i guess we’re doing the pocky challenge today,” he mumbled disdainfully. you beamed at his words before softly grabbing a box of pocky off the table and showcasing it to the camera. jeno grabs your hand and you both start messing with the packaging before jeno begins to whisper again.

“today we have the strawberry pocky— sorry jaems, this isn’t for you,” said jeno. you both carefully open the box, trying to stifle your laughter as the decibel meter suddenly turns red. you smack jeno as he fails to keep quiet, and he returns the favor by tickling you. thanks to your competitive streak with jeno, you both had decided to dare each other to see who could open it the quietest with the loser having to play overwatch with hyuck. you had easily won of course, skillfully and stealthily opening the box.

jeno begins grumbling, realizing he would have to suffer hours trying to beat donghyuck at overwatch, which unfortunately, happened to not be his favorite video game. “not my fault you suck,” you taunted. he retaliated by extending his hand out to cover your mouth, effectively shutting you up as he turned the camera with his signature eye smile.

you punched his stomach after prying his hand off of you, and glared at him.

“and that, my friends, is why i’m the best at asmr,” you gloat victoriously, pretending to snobbily ignore your boyfriend with a childish “hmph!”

jeno sighed in defeat. “i let her win, don’t be fooled.” jeno rolls his eyes with a smile.

“nah, that just means he’s whipped for me,” you raise your eyebrows suggestively at your boyfriend. he grins and attacks your sides with tickles, causing you to scream and fight against him as your earbuds fall out. both of you burst into laughter. you squirmed away to no avail as your boyfriend’s strong arms held you back. you both regain your composure before returning your attention back to the camera.

jeno was usually not this touchy on camera, choosing to keep your relationship private, making you silently wonder if he was actually going to upload this. you narrowed your eyes suspiciously as your innocently oblivious boyfrined. he grabs your earbuds and helps you fix your disheveled appearance with jabs about how crazy you looked, leading you to grab a piece of pocky and shoving it in his mouth to get him to shut up.

“anyways, for anyone who doesn’t know what the pocky challenge is— it’s basically a challenge where you have a piece of pocky, and two people eating it from each end,” you explained, voice dropping back down to a whisper.

jeno finishes the pocky and nods, leaning into the microphone to continue, “the first person whose mouth moves off the stick loses. you have to get to the middle first to win. if the participants end up kissing, it is a tie.” he makes a funny face at the camera at the mention of kissing, wriggling his eyebrows as he wrinkles his nose in fake disgust. you slap his arm, sniggering. whoever said he wasn’t funny was blind, you thought in amusement at your boyfriend’s childish antics.

you turn to your boyfriend, your competitiveness igniting a fire in your eyes. “are you ready to lose, babe?” you mock haughtily. you crossed your ears and jutted your chin away from him dramatically.

“only in your dreams, sweetheart,” jeno shot back teasingly, his eyes crinkling.

“hah, you wish.” you position the strawberry-covered biscuit between your lips to firmly secure your end of the stick. you motion for jeno to get closer, as he daintily places the other end of the pocky above his supple bottom lip. you steady yourself by holding onto his broad shoulders, and began by taking the first bite, lips slowly inching towards jeno’s. the air in the room is thick with tension as you stare down jeno’s determined eyes. he was trying his best not to downright laugh at how adorable you were right now, his competitiveness consuming him as he plotted another plan in the back of his mind.

not a sound could be heard throughout the silent room, only the deep breathing and sound of the biscuit being broken into pieces. your body stiffened. you could feel his breath getting closer to yours and smell the slight whiff of his cologne and the laundry detergent despite the strong artificial smell of strawberry. jeno’s gaze was locked on your face, his body unmoving except for his head and mouth, leaning closer and closer to you. you both inched towards one another, and you were almost at the middle, at victory, when—

jeno abruptly bit off a huge piece of pocky before connecting his lips with yours. you pull back in surprise and finish the remaining piece of biscuit before realizing what had happened.

this idiot really just cheated.

you open your mouth to shout at him yet the indignant shrieks on the tip of your tongue are suddenly swallowed by his plush lips pressed against yours. all signs of protest leave your body as you get lost in the sweet taste of your boyfriend. as your hands found purchase in his hair, the earbuds fall out without a second thought, long forgotten. your eyes flutter shut and you melt into the kiss, hands moving down to loop around his neck and rest at his nape.

it felt like jeno knew you like the back of his hand, knowing every one of your weak spots as he cupped your jaw with one hand and traced circles with the pad of his thumb onto your cheek. his hands soon wander to snake under the shirt that you were wearing (which oh so conveniently happen to be his) to rest comfortably against your hips; his touch cool against the warmth of your skin.

you sighed contentedly as you both parted to take a breath of air. after a brief moment, jeno takes another opportunity to reattach his lips, his tongue slipping past your lips to savor the sweetness of the tart strawberry flavor. you part your lips more, simply by instinct, to allow the kiss to deepen, and you can’t help but moan a little. his kisses soon turn needier by the second, with you gripping onto the nape of his neck and with him pulling you into his lap. his tongue explored your mouth with lazy yet languid motions, and you pull away breathlessly.

jeno smirks at your dazed face before he swoops in, not giving you a chance to stay away for long.

“you.” peck. “lose.” peck.

jeno mumbles more incoherent words into your skin, peppering kisses from your lips to everywhere else on your face. he moves down to leave a trail of wet kisses from your jawline to your neck. you tilt your head back to allow him more access to your throat as he begins sucking your skin, his teeth lightly grazing each sweet spot. his fingers dance from your hips down to grab your ass as you grind into his lap more, earning jeno the pleasure of hearing your small whine. you exhale blissfully as splotches of red and purple begin blooming all across your neck.

suddenly the gleaming light catches your attention. you gasp and smack jeno, causing him to pout and halt in his ministrations. “what?” he asks almost irritatedly— only to see you point at the camera.

“oh my god— it’s still rolling!” you shriek.

you cover your red, swollen lips and feel your face turn hot as jeno stares blankly. realization settles in before his mouth drops in shock, ears turning red.

he had forgotten about the camera.

jeno quickly reaches over to shut it off as you stare in horror. he scratches his neck awkwardly as you groan and slump back on the couch. jeno suddenly becomes amused at your reaction despite his embarrassment. as much as he didn’t expect for his little stunt to ruin the competition to go this far, he had to enjoy the fact that he managed to make you go from brimming with confidence to a flustered and unsurprisingly, turned on mess.

“what is it, babe? are you really that embarrassed?” he teased, his crescent eyes gazing in adoration at you.

you turn to look at jeno in shock, your mouth agape.

“jeno, we almost made a sex tape!”

#nct-writers #kwritersworldnet #neowritingsnet #jeno scenarios #nct dream scenarios #jeno imagines #jeno x reader #jeno #nct jeno #jeno fluff #jeno smut #nct scenarios #nct dream fluff #nct dream smut #nct dream crack #leyna writes

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fandomlurker · 4 years ago

Text

A Ponderous Rewatch: Jockey For Position

Now that we’re done with that long cameo, it’s time for our feature presentation for tonight, and it’s a doozy!:

We open with Pinky frantically running on a spinning globe while Brain stands above him on the…globe holder? I don’t know if that part has a name or not.

“[winded gasps] Can I stop now, Brain?”

“Not until I finish my demonstration.”

Brain, that’s just… Well I was about to say it was mean, but given that Pinky understands the details of his plans better when Brain demonstrates it or draws elaborate diagrams, maybe it’s for the best? I doubt Brain could make that large globe spin just by using his hands, and Pinky’s been seen a lot of times running on the mouse wheel in their cage so he’s gotta be pretty in shape. Still, it feels like Pinky’s been running for a lot longer than he needed to…

You know what? I change my mind. It is a bit mean, Brain.

“When I build my reverse geotropic arrestor, Pinky, and throw it from the North Pole like this…”

The word “geotropic” doesn’t quite sound right. I wonder…

…Okay, yeah, Brain’s getting worse at naming things.

“…In a matter of seconds the cable will become taut, gravity will cease, and everyone will fly off the face of the Earth!”

Oh my GOD, Brain. This has got to be the stupidest plan you have come up with yet! Nothing about this will work.

Well, there goes poor Pinky.

“Leaving us alone to assume control.”

It’s still “us”, huh? Noted.

Long Pinky.

“Egad, Brain, brilliant! Haha hehe heh—!”

Pinky, sweetheart, I know praising Brain is kind of your thing but this is one time I’m going to have to call you out on your bias because this is super not brilliant and I’m actually a little worried for Brain’s mental state.

“—Oh wait, no, no. What’s going to keep us from flying off the Earth?”

That’s one flaw of many, Pinky, but I guess it’s as good a start as any.

“We will duct tape ourselves to a tree.”

Because the tree will totally stay in the ground when the Earth abruptly stops spinning. Not that it will stop spinning, because none of this makes any sense.

Brain, did this idea come from, like, a dream you had or something? Is that why the plan is working on dream logic?

I know this is a comedy cartoon and this is all a joke but sometimes Brain’s plans are so fucking out-there I just have to roast him for it.

“Unfortunately we still need to raise money to buy a one billion ton magnet. But I have a solution!”

Oh boy, can’t wait to hear the solution to this one. It’s gonna be stellar if the whole plan today is anything to go by.

Oh nice, Brain’s the one sewing for a change! Usually this is Pinky’s area of expertise, but it’s always nice to see that Brain can do some classically domestic things too.

“Tomorrow is the running of the Kentucky Derby. Do you know what that is?”

Most of my knowledge on it comes from “My Brother, My Brother, and Me” goofs, so my mind keeps autocorrecting it to “Kenfucky Derby”, but go on.

“Umm… Oh! A very large hat?”

“Promise me something, Pinky. Never breed.”

“I’ll try.”

Well, that’s going to come back to haunt them.

“The Kentucky Derby is the biggest horse race of the year. There’s a one million dollar purse going to the jockey riding the winning horse.”

“And I am going to win that purse!”

Okay, first off: Pinky, are you just going to stand there and stare at Brain as he gets changed? Like, I understand they’re naked normally and this is the exact opposite of stripping but umm…

Secondly: Brain, did you really have to get that up close to tell Pinky this? You two are making this too easy for me.

“Zort, Brain! A million dollar purse?!? Ooooh!~ You’re going to need matching pumps and earrings for that!”

Pinky’s got his priorities in order.

“Focus, Pinky, focus!”

“Now watch.”

And now Brain’s ordering Pinky to watch him dress and I just…I have no words. This is all so suspect. Why do you two even need a dressing screen if you’re usually naked anyway? And it shouldn’t matter if anyone sees you get dressed unless this is some weird reverse nudity taboo you two have developed and if that’s the case, why are you allowing Pinky to watch? And if it’s for a dramatic reveal WHY ARE YOU ORDERING HIM TO WATCH YOU CHANGE???

This episode is already so goddamn wild.

I am really not sure how I feel about that pan-up of Brain when he’s thrust his pelvis forward. At least the outfit is cute, though.

“Narf! Oh, Brain, I get it! You’re a beautiful lawn ornament!”

“Beautiful”, huh? Also noted.

“Look at me, narf, I’m a pink flamingo! Ahahaheh!”

Oh LORD, Pinky, how are you—?!?

“I’m a cement deer! Ah hah!”

PINKY, STOP, YOU’RE SCARING ME! D:

“Oh, I’m one of the seven dwarves, Brain!”

That’s more acceptable but Pinky, sweetie, warn me if you’re going to nightmarishly shapeshift again, okay?!

I guess we can add that to the list of random abilities Pinky has.

“Stop it, Pinky, or I shall have to hurt you.”

You are much calmer about this than I would be if this happened in front of me, Brain.

“Oh. Right-o, Brain. Narf.”

“Now let us make haste, for we have much to do before the race begins.”

“Poit.”

So then we cut to Churchill Downs, and I can only assume another roadtrip adventure was had off-screen.

“First, Pinky, we must visit the stables.”

“Inside, we will find the winning horse.”

“Err… How are we gonna do that, Brain?”

“The racing form, Pinky.”

My bet’s on... [squints] hLUUNO the horse.

“By analysing the velocity-based pace line, mile turf win and bayer speed figures, we’ll find a grade one stakes claimer who’ll give us a key horse situation.”

“Key Horse Situation” would be a great band name. Also, whoops, little bit of an error on the name plaques, background artists.

What do your mouse eyes see, Pinky?

“Err, can’t we just ride the pretty one?”

SHE!

So here she is, one of the few characters debuting in the Animaniacs run that will matter to PatB lore going forward aside from our main duo.

A fun fact for you all: Phar Fignewton’s name is a triple reference joke. “Phar Lap” was a champion thoroughbred race horse in the late 1920s and early 1930s. Fig Newtons are small pastries filled with fig paste. Lastly, “Fahrvergnügen” was a slogan for Volkswagon starting in 1990. Translated, it means “driving enjoyment”.

Phar Fignewton makes a whinnying noise and ends it off with a goofy laugh.

Brain is not impressed.

“Heavens, they’re multiplying…”

Pinky is instantly smitten with her.

BONK!

“This is a business trip, Pinky!”

“Oh. Right. Sorry, Brain.”

“Here is our horse.”

“’Daddy’s Little Angel’…”

I guess it’s an ironic nickname.

“Pinky… Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“Whu… I think so, Brain, isn’t Regis Philbin already married?”

…

Now I’m wondering if Pinky is suggesting that one of them marry Regis or if he’s suggesting that Regis marries the horse. Either way, what the fuck?

Yeah, same.

“The race, Pinky. By combining the statistics and my low body weight, this horse cannot lose! The prize money will be ours!”

GAH! Brain, I’ve had enough minor heart attacks from this episode because of Pinky’s eldritch morphing ability, I don’t need another one of your bizarre close-ups to do the same!

“Now I must take the place of the real jockey.”

“Hello?”

“Is this the Jockey who’s going to ride ‘Daddy’s Little Angel’?”

“Yeah.”

“This is Ed Mcmahon from Publisher’s Smearing House. You’ve just won ten million dollars.”

Pinky delightedly and silently listening in and chuckling in the back is precious.

And honestly, Brain, I don’t know why you’re crouching here, but it’s also cute.

“I won ten million dollars… I WON TEN MILLION DOLLARS! I am outta here! Later!”

The mice are lucky that he’s so excited about winning all that money that he forgets to do basic things like ask when and how he’ll get the money.

“Louie! Louie!”

“Later!”

“Who’s gonna ride my horse? I mean, Louie is the smallest, lightest jockey in the entire world!”

Did you know that there’s a weight requirement for jockeys, but no height requirement?

“Not anymore!”

“[GASP]”

Whoops, I just noticed another error, though it’s minor: Brain’s jockey outfit throughout this scene is light tan and purple instead of the pea green and purple that it’s supposed to be.

“You’re a jockey?!”

“Actually, I am a mouse in the early stages of an elaborate scheme to take over the world.”

The more this happens, the more I’m starting to think that Brain does this shtick on purpose to emotionally and mentally disarm people who would otherwise suspect that he’s not human. The fact that it works shows you just how idiotic the human beings of this world are.

“Well, fine, we all need a hobby but…will you ride my horse?”

Oh, sir, I think it’s much more than a hobby at this point. If only you knew…

“I shall ride! And win!”

His design is a little odd here, but it’s still a good pose.

So Brain next has to be weighed to make sure he meets the requirements.

“Saddle: Seven pounds. Saddle and rider: Seven pounds 3 ounces.”

So if you can recall from the previous rewatch post, a house mouse on average weighs 19g, and a common wood mouse weighs 23g (it can be up for debate which type of mouse Brain is). Converting Brain’s 3 ounces of weight to grams would result in him weighing 85.0486g.

Brain does have a bit of a cute little potbelly thing going on, but he’s also consistently much smaller in height and width than the average adult mouse in the series. I think the incredible difference in weight is mostly coming from the heft of Brain’s, well, brain and skull…and the muscle mass packed into that tiny body to help keep him upright.

“A genetically perfect jockey! This is fantastic!”

Please don’t phrase it like that.

“…Let’s look into early retirement.”

That jockey on the left is going through some shit, man. He looks like how I feel after working an eight hour shift on the holidays.

And so we skip to the beginning of the race!

That poor, poor jockey…who changed colour schemes for some reason.

There’s Phar Fignewton with a jockey who honestly looks like he’s high.

And here’s our little mousey fella, who has somehow managed to make this aggressive horse obedient.

“Camptown race is five miles long, do-dah, do-dah.~”

He’s so happy he’s singing to himself! This is honestly so precious that I completely forgive him for not getting the lyrics correct.

Coincidentally, Daddy’s Little Angel is positioned next to Phar Fignewton.

“Ooh, isn’t this exciting, Brain?”

Uh oh.

“Pinky, what are you doing here? Your weight will disrupt my winning calculations!”

I don’t know if it’d be that off, Brain. The combined weight of two mice is still much less than that of a human jockey.

“But Brain, it’s too exciting! I—“

[TARGET LOCKED]

“Oooh! Heh. Hello.~”

I think I’m going to save my thoughts on this whole…thing until the end. Right now I will say, however, that I wasn’t quite expecting the tongue-hanging-out-of-gaping-mouth lovestruck/horny??? reaction.

“Pinky, the race is starting!”

Too late, Brain.

And we’re off!

Bye, Pinky.

“There’s baloney in our slacks…~”

Pfft.

So as the race goes on, we get to know a few more of the horses’ names: Isle of Yap (a nice callback to the first PatB short), Flamiel (which is apparently the WB writers’ favourite word?), and Leggo-my-Egoiste (a double reference to an old Eggo slogan and the name of a cologne).

The other jockeys are more than a little surprised by Brain and his steed taking the lead early in the race.

Phar Fignewton is trailing way behind.

Meanwhile, Pinky’s woken up from fainting, seeing the oncoming horses—

--and promptly freaks out and stumbles back down again.

“Victory, she waits for me! Oh, the do-dah-day!”

You really have to stop tempting fate like this, Brain.

Phar Fignewton’s very tired, but what’s this?

Is that…Pinky in harm’s way?

ThePowerOfLove.mp3

Determined and fueled by her inexplicable crush, Phar Fignewton starts gaining ground on the other horses.

Brain didn’t calculate for this!

…Oh! Hi, Warners! Looks like they’re cheering Phar on.

“Oh no! Yah! Yah! Yah!”

I didn’t think whips were allowed in races like the Kentucky Derby, but apparently they are. Their use was only restricted—not banned—in the summer of 2020, which is alarming to say the least.

On a different note, I know some of you folks are now jotting down the fact that Brain knows how to use a whip. I see you.

She makes the save!

And she also wins the race! Way to go, Phar Fignewton!

“In the words of the great Willie Shoemaker: ‘Nuts!’”

It was a good try, Brain, but honestly I’m glad you failed this time if only so that you wouldn’t embarrass yourself with your actual world domination plan’s failure later. Maybe take a couple nights off to rest up a bit and formulate plans that aren’t totally bonkers, hmm?

I might as well go ahead and talk about this now. I…am conflicted on this whole Phar Fignewton thing. It makes for a very strange one-off joke about Pinky instantly falling in love with a distaff counterpart of his that’s a horse for whatever reason…but the fact that she’s not a one-off character is baffling in and of itself. Like I’ve said before, she’s mentioned a couple of times going forward as being Pinky’s girlfriend, or as a bizarre joke at Pinky’s expense about him being in/having been in a relationship with a horse. There’s even a small running gag about Pinky’s reaction to people’s disgust about it: “People can be so intolerant!”. I don’t know if the joke is supposed to be one about racial segregation or a wink and nod to queer folks in the only way that the writers could get away with in a cartoon at the time (in a “see, Pinky’s down for a relationship with anyone, even outside of his species!” type of way).

Phar Fignewton herself is a sweetie but besides that she has no personality to speak of and we’re just meant to assume based on physical appearance that she is equivalent to Pinky. And like, she hasn’t been uplifted to human levels of intelligence and sapience like Pinky has because of Acme Labs, but she seems to be naturally sapient for some unknown reason and just simply unable to speak English.

On top of all this, the relationship is very shallow and the only reason we’re given as to why Pinky likes her is because he finds her pretty. It’s perfectly in character for Pinky to easily fall in love, as he does so with other animals a couple more times in the spin-offs, but it just feels weird that this is the one that sticks around purely to become a running gag that gets mentions that are sometimes literal years apart from one another.

And listen, I know the writers most likely made this a thing just because they thought it was a funny joke and a few of them managed to remember about Phar and would use Pinky dating her as a gag. I know this. But it doesn’t make it any less confusing and weird. I remember the jokes about Pinky and horses from way back when I first watched Animaniacs and the PatB spin-off when I was a kid and I never had any context for it because I don’t think I ever saw this specific episode. Coming back as an adult and seeing all these episodes in order and watching this one in particular and finding out the context is “Pinky thinks a horse is pretty and the horse and him are in love and long-distance dating now” is both underwhelming and leaves me with more questions than answers.

…Also, if my earlier theories on why the writers made this joke are correct, does this mean Phar Fignewton is metatextually a beard for Pinky?

I just don’t know, folks. You’re welcome to leave your thoughts on this in comments.

Let’s wrap this up.

So as we can see, Brain is, as usual, back to work on another plan that involves—

—a goddamn cannon, holy shit! What is he using the glue for? That’s a little ominous, given what’s been involved in this episode.

There’s a hammering noise in the background and we see Pinky putting up a photo of Phar Fignewton.

“Pinky, will you please stop that? I’m trying to concentrate on tomorrow night!”

Wow, you’re more irritable than usual, Brain. I didn’t think some delicate hammering would annoy you that much.

“Mwah!~”

…Despite my ramblings earlier, that’s very cute of you, Pinky. I’m sure you could’ve gotten a better photo, though.

“Why, Brain, what’re we gonna do tomorrow night?”

Try to take over the world, of course! Right, Brain?

“Guess.”

…

Umm, wow. That’s a first. You look like you’re absolutely enraged, Brain. All this over some hammering sounds?

This had me taken aback a bit when I watched it the first time, not gonna lie. We’ve seen Brain after a plan’s failure plenty of times before. He’s been frustrated, sure. Humiliated at times, or maybe he just sighs in resignation and walks off into the sunset. It always ends with him simply using these feelings to fuel the fire in him to do better tomorrow night.

This is the very first time we’ve seen him jumpy and irritated at the most minor of things and so angry that he literally refuses to participate normally in his and Pinky’s shared catchphrase. And this was for a plan that was just to fund the real plan! So why is this time any different?

Oh.

OH.

Okay, that’s… That makes a lot of sense, actually. Damn.

Hey, fanfic writers? Ya’ll ever use this as the very first time Brain experiences romantic jealousy? Let me know.

“Oh yeah, try to take over the world. Right.”

I think even Pinky’s put off by this development, if his hesitant and quiet finishing of the saying is anything to go by.

And that’s what we end off with.

All in all, this episode is a wild ride of strangeness in small moments and bizarre additions to lore and ends on the first subversion of the long-running closing gag of the series. It’s not exactly a great episode, but that ending is intriguing enough for one of the main purposes of this rewatch. In short, I’m just baffled.

Luckily the next episode is much better. Next time, the mice head on down to Tennessee to seek world domination via country music.

See you then!

#Pinky and the Brain #PatB #Jockey For Position

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