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sergeantgoggles · 4 months ago

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Lemon Yellow - poly batch <3

Whew. Anon, you really know how to pick 'em.

3800+ words later....

Tags/TW: Polybatch, Emotionally Intelligent Wrecker, Poly Negotiations, Pre-Order 66, Body Dysmorphia, Slightly Graphic Depictions of Cybernetics and Skin, Depression, Trauma, Nightmares, Echo Crying, Mentions of Former Poly Torrent Company (Rex/Fives/Echo/Jesse/Kix/Hardcase/Tup/Dogma), Grief/Loss, Neurodivergent Tech, Implied Neurodivergent Hunter, Happy Ending on Pabu, 10 Years later, Gay Old Men, Canon Compliant Hand Loss for Crosshair, Tech was CX-2, Batcher and Teenage Omega

Lemon Yellow: How does the first kiss go? (+2 Bonus kisses)

“I saw you and Hunter the other night,” Echo mentioned casually as he handed Tech a spanner wrench. He watched as Tech give him a quick, unconcerned look and went about his business.

“We are in an established relationship,” he replied matter-of-factly, as though it should have been common knowledge that Echo could have simply looked up on the comm chatter.

Echo was new to Clone Force 99. It wasn’t his place to judge them for anything, and it wasn’t like he hadn’t also been in a relationship with another clone or experimented with one before. Still, he chose his next words carefully, afraid that he might know too much now.

“…I also saw him with Crosshair this morning.”

That did give Tech pause, and he sighed with a bit of exasperation. “Look, Echo, I do not know how to tell you this gently, so I will simply be upfront with you. The truth is that the four of us, Hunter, Crosshair, Wrecker, and myself, are in a polyamorous relationship.”

Echo let the words sink in. He knew what they meant, and he knew sort of how it worked. Torrent Company worked similarly. There were obvious pairs, like himself and Fives, and Jesse and Kix, but they were sort of just, all together, the eight of them. So, the four members of the Bad Batch being in such a relationship wasn’t something that Echo was necessarily new to, but…

“You seem perplexed by this,” Tech teased lightly as he set the spanner wrench aside for now. “Perhaps if I explain—”

“No, no, that’s not it. I know what it is,” Echo defended. “I guess I just didn’t think that that sort of relationship was a clone thing.”

“As opposed to what?” Tech inquired with interest.

If nothing else, Tech was at least treating it delicately, if not forwardly. Echo appreciated that he didn’t try to sugarcoat it for him. He knew it was a little…weird…to explain to some people. Even some people in the GAR had a hard time wrapping their heads around it, so it was always more simple to tell people he was with Fives, instead of having six other boyfriends.

“My old squad��”

“The five hundred and first?”

“Yeah, Torrent Company specifically, we were…you know.”

Tech seemed to brighten at that, but why, Echo could only speculate. Maybe he was just happy that he didn’t have to keep sneaking around anymore, but to be honest, it sort of made Echo feel left out. For now, he swept the idea under the rug.

“I see. Do you miss that sort of dynamic?”

Echo pretended to think about it, but the reality was yeah, he really did. He hardly gave his remaining squad a chance to make him feel welcomed back, afraid of what they would think of him, maybe. Even he didn’t know some days, but he knew that this was where he needed to be, at least for now.

“Yeah, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss flopping onto a rack after hitting the showers and there would just be someone there to keep me company,” Echo sighed.

Tech had a curious look in his eyes as he adjusted his goggles. It was obvious that he was thinking hard about something from the way he nibbled on the pout of his bottom lip, and Echo couldn’t help the intrusive thought.

‘He’s so cute.’

With barely even a second to process the thought, Echo’s eyes flew open wide as Tech’s lips connected with his. Immediately, his cheeks darkened, but he settled quickly into the kiss. Tech’s lips were softer than he’d imagined they would be, not that he made a habit of imagining his lips, but sometimes…

Echo hadn’t expected it to go much further, but Tech’s fingers brushed his cheek, fleeting and soft, gloved hand coated in a sheen of grease from the Marauder catching on the stubble that had grown in. He sighed, giving in to feeling someone else’s lips for the first time since—

Fives. The first time since Fives.

Abruptly, Echo leaned away, eyes conflicted as he turned his gaze away from Tech’s imploring look.

“I…am sorry for assuming that you would—”

Echo quickly shook his head. “It’s not that. I liked it, a lot.”

It was as though Echo could feel the heat and hurt radiating from Tech’s stare, and he forced himself to look at him, even though all he really wanted in that moment was to forget the pain of Fives being gone and for Tech to kiss him again. “I’m sorry, Tech. I just…haven’t kissed anyone in a long time. It took me by surprise.”

Tech pondered his words, then, “did I misunderstand?”

This was getting complicated. “No, actually, I want to kiss you again, but I don’t know where the others stand, and I don’t want to come between anyone. That’s not how a polycule works.”

“Ah, I see,” Tech seemed to ease up a little after that and sat back to work on the ship again. “If that is your concern, then I will talk to the others. You are right, it should be discussed.”

Echo smiled and touched the greasy streak on his cheek fondly before he stood. Giddiness coursed through him, but he was also nervous about what was to come. All he could do was hope for the best. In the meantime, he needed to sort out his feelings about Fives, as well as those that remained in his previous situationship. There were a lot of factors to consider, but maybe this wasn’t so bad.

Besides, kissing Tech again would definitely be on the top of his list to do again as soon as possible.

“WHAT?”

“Stop that,” Tech scoffed and rolled his eyes. “This hardly warrants that kind of reaction.”

“You should have come to us first,” Hunter sighed, but he was far less condescending than Wrecker’s outburst had been.

“As if you’re actually bothered by it,” Crosshair quipped as he cleaned the barrel of his rifle. “You’ve been looking Echo up and down since he first stepped onto the Marauder.”

Tech looked between them with a smirk as Hunter’s cheeks lit up.

“WHAT?” Wrecker boomed again.

“Enough,” Crosshair drawled in his direction. “We’ve all thought about it. You’re just mad that Tech made the first move.”

“You’re not mad about it?” Hunter asked and kicked his legs up on Crosshair’s lap. There was a sneer on Crosshair’s lips that said he wanted to knock them off, but he didn’t, instead continuing to detail his weapon.

“No,” he answered, and his eyes flicked to Tech’s, “but I want to know what Echo tastes like.” The suggestive tone didn’t go unnoticed, and Tech appropriately blushed as Crosshair licked his lips. “Why kiss me when you could just go kiss him yourself?”

Setting his rifle aside, Crosshair hummed. “You’re right.”

He stood, now knocking Hunter’s feet off his lap with a smack, and he leaned over the pilot’s seat to steal a less heated kiss from Tech’s lips. “Good thinking, Ace.”

“Hey, that’s my nickname for him,” Hunter pouted.

Tech’s flush darkened further as he was fought over, but the argument died when Crosshair kissed Hunter on his way out of the cockpit.

“Heard you had a run in with Tech.”

Echo looked up from where he was swinging from the sling strung up by the gunner’s mount, setting his datapad aside. “If you mean he kissed me, yeah. Didn’t get him in trouble, did it?”

Crosshair chuckled and crossed his arms. “Not especially, but it took us by surprise.”

“Why’s that?” Echo inquired, eyes curious as he took in Crosshair’s relaxed posture.

“Well, Tech usually isn’t the type to make the first move, even with us,” he explained, and Echo could feel the heat starting to rise in his cheeks. “You must really wind him up.”

As Crosshair leaned into his space, Echo found himself shifting to meet him. “Only him? Or can I get a rise out of you, too?”

There was barely a beat between them before Crosshair ghosted his lips over Echo’s, and they were gone as fast as they came. Echo chased them, but Crosshair was quicker. “You sure you’re okay with this?” Crosshair asked, eyes darting over Echo’s parted lips.

Echo faltered and leaned back into his sling. Was he okay with this? He had told Tech that he needed space to think, but was that only an excuse to make him talk to the others? Sighing, Echo shook his head. It wasn’t fair to leave Crosshair hanging.

“Hn, so you do have some baggage,” the sniper stood, giving Echo some breathing room.

“I haven’t kissed anyone since my last squad,” Echo defended with a scowl.

Crosshair quirked an eyebrow. “You kissed Tech.”

“And I told him the same thing,” Echo shot back, “and he kissed me, for the record.”

This was getting nowhere fast, and Crosshair seemed to see the same thing. Quietly, he stepped back and crossed his arms again, effectively shielding himself from whatever feelings he was keeping locked away. Inwardly, Echo winced. He hadn’t meant to come off like he was rejecting him, or any of them, for that matter.

“Crosshair, I—”

“It’s fine,” he clipped coolly, “but don’t make a habit of kissing my partners if you can’t get yourself sorted.”

Echo bristled, but averted his eyes, staring a hole into the side of the ship. Maybe he hoped it would swallow him up and he wouldn’t have to confront his feelings yet. That sounded nice. He heard Crosshair’s footfalls and listened as they grew distance, disappearing once again into the cockpit, seemingly to tell the others about being turned down.

Frustrated, Echo slipped his legs up into his sling and turned onto his side, facing away from where the others were gathered. Maybe this had been a mistake after all. He should call Rex and rendezvous with him. At least Rex still wanted him, and Jesse and Kix were still there to keep him from running away with his thoughts.

Hardcase had sacrificed himself.

Dogma was arrested.

Tup had suffered and died from what was being reported as a ‘mental relapse.’

…Fives was shot and killed for knowing too much.

How was he supposed to just pretend like each and every loss didn’t feel like a gaping hole being scraped out of his chest?

“Echo…? Echo?”

A large hand shook his shoulder, startling him awake. The jolt as he sat up nearly tipped the sling, but a body beside him kept it from dumping him onto the durasteel floor.

“Wrecker?” Echo questioned, his own voice unrecognizable to him. He lifted his flesh hand to his cheek and frowned when he felt the dampness of hot tears on his fingers. Damn it. “Sorry,” he continued, shame coloring his features. It wasn’t uncommon for soldiers to cry in their sleep, though the nightmares were more common with shinies. He was usually better at hiding it, though. “I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”

Wrecker fidgeted but made no move to go back to his rack. Worry was etched into his scarred face, and Echo didn’t have the temperament to be gentle about it.

“I said don’t—”

“Yeah, I heard you,” Wrecker murmured, “but I don’t believe you.”

Echo huffed and curled his cybernetic knees up to his chest. It was weird to try and hug them close. Metal dug into his skin, and it was uncomfortable to try and lay his forehead on top of the joints. More tears pooled in his eyes. Damn the Techno Union for saving him. He should have been left to die, march on like the rest of the Dominoes, like most of his partners…

Not be held together by fused skin and whirring parts like the monster that he is.

The sob that left him was quiet, but he might as well have been screaming the way Wrecker wrapped his arms around him and softly quieted his wails. It was weird, the way he could feel the ports in his head sinking into Wrecker’s chest, how tenderly Wrecker’s thumb grazed the skin where his scomp was connected to. Weird, but Wrecker held him like it was the most normal thing in the galaxy.

“…You don’t have to,” Echo sniffed. “I know what I am.”

Wrecker frowned. “I don’t. What do you think you are?”

Echo could have actually screamed. “I’m a freak, Wrecker. I’m more droid than human. I shouldn’t even be alive.”

His words must have struck something deep, because Wrecker sat back enough to grip Echo’s chin and gently force their gazes to meet. There was a softness in his eyes that wasn’t pity, though there was a bit of that despite how much he’d tried to keep it at bay, but understanding and compassion. Their noses brushed, and Echo let him press their lips together, firm, but chaste, with no hidden motives, the kind of kiss that was reassuring and grounding. It was the kind of kiss that reminded Echo of Hardcase after a mission with heavy casualties, kissing all of them and remining them that they’re all okay, they all made it. It was the kind of kiss that Echo gave Tup when he got into it with Dogma, promising him that they would make up and things would be okay.

It was the kind of kiss that Fives gave him their first night in the five hundred and first barracks, after they were extracted from Rishi, when they didn’t have any answers, but they had one another, and that was enough.

“We all have scars,” Wrecker whispered against his lips. “Some are small and hidden, and sometimes they’re big and obvious, but it’s how you wear them that makes the difference. For what it’s worth, I think yours are beautiful.”

Echo gasped, lip trembling slightly. It was the only time someone looked at him and thought that what was left of him was beautiful. No, not what was left, what he was. Wrecker thought he was beautiful as he was, even with the inconvenience of being mostly machine. It felt…well, it felt really nice to be thought of that way, even if he didn’t see it. So, he said the only thing he could in response and kissed him again.

“Thank you.’

Stars hung in the black sky and the moons of Pantora were high in the sky when Echo heard someone emerge from the racks. Normally, he wouldn’t pay any mind to it. It was likely Tech pattering around because he couldn’t turn his brain off. So, he continued to stare out the window from the co-pilot’s seat. That seemed to be where he fit in the best, and he and Tech worked well together.

He wasn’t expecting the glide of a bare hand on the back of his neck, massaging gently. Turning his head, surprise caught his features. “Hunter?”

“I wanted to apologize about earlier,” the sergeant said and took up Tech’s seat. “We should have been open about the nature of our relationship, and Crosshair had no right to kick you out because he wanted some action.”

Echo sighed. He’d almost successfully forgotten why he hadn’t been asleep in his sling between Tech and Wrecker’s racks. Crosshair had exiled him to the cockpit if he didn’t want to join in…activities. To Echo’s credit, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to participate, but having group sex was a hell of a first time with a new body, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for all that yet. Instead of torturing himself by staying to watch, he’d voluntarily left. Had he really been gone that long?

Judging by the way Hunter’s hair was mussed and the vaguely dark marks on his neck, he was certain that if nothing else, Hunter had gotten to partake in some activities.

“It’s fine,” Echo told a half truth. It was, to an extent, but he wished he had been brave enough to join them.

Hunter nodded, wringing his hands together. A nervous thing, Echo noticed. He was like Tech in a way, needing something to occupy his hands most of the time. It wasn’t as severe as Tech’s compulsions, but it was enough to draw Echo’s attention. Carefully, Echo reached over and took on of Hunter’s hands in his own. Immediately, Hunter latched onto it, tracing the lines of his fingers, pressing lightly on his palm, no doubt feeling his heartbeat through his veins. It seemed to calm him, though, and Echo smiled.

“I…understand why you didn’t want to join,” Hunter started, “but you should know that your cybernetic parts don’t bother us, and that despite our own feelings, we respect that you still have feelings for your old squad.”

Echo’s eyes softened. They really had been talking about him, but it wasn’t in the way that he’d thought they were. Not that he thought they were those kinds of people, but he had been so down on himself…it was easier to put the blame on someone else than face himself.

“Most of my old squad is gone,” Echo said aloud, maybe for the first time since he’d boarded the Marauder, “and the ones that remain…well, two of them were already together when we formed the polycule.”

“So, you were left out,” Hunter finished.

“Not really,” Echo shook his head. “They wanted to try…but I’m not the same as I was then, and I didn’t give them the chance to know me as I am now.”

Hunter hummed, still lazily outlining Echo’s fingers as though he were committing the way they felt to memory. “What about us? Think we might have a shot?”

A beat of silence fell between them as Echo considered the question. Was that what he wanted, to be part of another polycule? He certainly hadn’t wanted to assume that they wanted him in that capacity, but the last few days have proved that, if anything, they were willing to try. All of the pieces were there, most of them already put together, all that was missing was the final piece.

Hunter lifted Echo’s hands to his lips and kissed it, careful and deliberate. “You don’t have to give us an answer right now, but the offer is on the table. All you have to do is take it.”

He stood, letting Echo retract his hand, and winked before returning to the rest of his squad, of his polycule, the polycule they all wanted Echo to be a part of. Echo watched his retreating back for a few seconds before he stood abruptly.

“Hunter?”

Yes, he wanted to be a part of this, of them. He wanted someone to love, and for someone to love him, and he was going to find it here, with the Bad Batch.

Hunter turned just as Echo closed the gap between them, kissing him with so much need and longing that it took Hunter’s breath away, and he backed himself up against the console to steady the both of them. Hot, open-mouthed kisses left Echo gasping, and his hand shook as he tangled his fingers into Hunter’s hair, pulling him closer, flush to the line of his body.

It was only the soft clearing of someone’s throat that forced them apart and left them panting for breath. Echo blushed a beautiful shade of red as Tech watched them sheepishly.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Hunter teased.

“That is a shame,” Tech said with a small, crooked smile. “I was rather enjoying the show.”

“Then you shouldn’t have interrupted,” Echo smirked as Tech crowded into his space. This time, Echo was ready and kissed him with as much passion as he had Hunter. Tech became weak at his knees, forcing Hunter to hold him up, and Echo quickly decided that he could get used to this.

It wasn’t the same as being with the five hundred and first, but Echo didn’t want it to be. He would always love his former squads, but this new one wasn’t half bad. He hoped they would be around for a long time.

10 YEARS LATER

Waves crashed on the beach, shifting the sands below. Over time, Echo knew that this place would eventually change. Erosion would claim it, or nature would, but in this moment, it would always remain as it was.

Beside him, Crosshair sat amongst the grain. He didn’t complain about sand getting everywhere anymore, even when it got caught in his cybernetic hand. Next to him, Wrecker slept, head on Crosshair’s shoulder, not so much as budging when the waves licked his toes. Their hands were entwined, soft and familiar, and Crosshair idly stroked it with his thumb as he watched the sun begin its descent into the sea.

Out in the water, Tech watched the horizon as though he were looking for something. Echo could tell he was talking but couldn’t make out what he was saying over the waves. Hunter, though, hugged him from behind and nodded along to whatever Tech told him, and took every opportunity to kiss his cheek, his neck, anywhere he could reach. Never again would Hunter let Tech out of his sight, or go where he couldn’t follow, not after Eriadu and Tantiss.

It took them a long time, but finally, they were all where they were meant to be, together.

Something broke over the horizon, and Echo grinned as Tech waved to those who were waiting on the shore. Crosshair nudged Wrecker awake, but the way that Wrecker was on his feet and waving in an instant, no one would have ever known if not for the drool on his chin. As a ship sped into the cove nearby, Tech and Hunter trudged back through the water and waited patiently for the ship’s captain to emerge.

“Hey! I’m back!”

Omega waved as she ran across the beach to them, beaming proudly as Batcher trailed behind her. No longer did Echo have to kneel to be on her level, and she easily leapt into his arms, still not quite tall enough to keep her feet on the ground. Echo caught her easily and hugged her tightly. This was her first solo flight, to Lothal to bring supplies to a small rebel cell and back, and as far as he could tell, she had been successful. They had known that they couldn’t keep her out of the fight forever, even though they’d all wished they’d had a little more time with her. After all, Omega wasn’t just their sister, but their kid. They raised her.

“Welcome home, Havoc 5,” Echo murmured as he set her back onto her feet.

Omega smiled and leaned up to kiss his cheek. That…was new, not unwelcomed, but definitely new.

“It’s good to be home.”

#cloneshipping #clone shipping #clone/clone #the bad batch #clonecest #polybatch #color prompts: cloneshipping edition #please heed the tags above

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crime-wives · 9 months ago

Text

nobody warns you before the fall

She hiccups, voice caught on a sob. “I’m sorry, I don't- I don’t have anyone else to call.”

“Lena?” There’s confusion, concern too. “What’s wrong?”

Kara still knows her too well even after all this time.

Her voice wobbles when she speaks, “You’re the most important person in my life, you know that, right Kara?”

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor 1.1k 1/1

read on ao3

#supercorp #lena luthor #kara danvers #please heed the tags on this #my fics #my writing #supergirl #supercorp fanfiction #anya writes

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beevean · 1 day ago

Link

At last, it is done.

After having grown closer, Adrian is comfortable enough to ask Hector to take a bath together, to wash each other off of their worries. A sequel to To Find The Right One.

Another Hectorcard contribution from yours truly, featuring bathing, childhood fluff, unescapable grief, and finding your home with those you forge a bond with :)

#castlevania #akumajou dracula #beev's writing #hectorcard #alucard castlevania #hector castlevania #man. i can't believe i'm done #i had abandoned this wip because i wasn't feeling it #and now i got to 15k words babey!#heed the tags as per usual #help i've fallen for the them ;A;#please reblog this version with the embedded link!

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whimsicalish · 2 months ago

Text

Sienna finds comfort in the strangest place.

around 2k words

Cw for suicidal thoughts and ideation, implied death. There are references to the previous movies and Art is his own warning. Sienna isn't having a good time.

Fair warning- I do not consider myself to be a writer. I just couldn't get this idea out of my head and i thought i could try. So here is my attempt. This fic isn't meant to be shippy and it'd be appreciated if it wasn't viewed that way.

On that note: English isn't my native language so i apologize for any possible errors and mistakes.

Sienna's life was left in shambles after that Christmas night. Her uncle was gutted and nailed to their kitchen wall, her aunt was dead in the living room and Gabbie was gone. And Jonathan- she didn't want to think about him. She doesn't think she could handle it right now.

Her wounds slowly stitched themselves together. Sienna felt numb. She was covered in blood; she was shaking both from the shock of the events that just unfolded, and from the cold.

The cold breeze from the opened window reminded her that he was still out there, that he got away. The sadistic fuck who ruined her life was still alive and he was who knows where. Sienna wanted to scream. She wanted to scream and cry and tear her hair out- but she felt too exhausted to move. She felt too exhausted to do anything.

She sat on the floor, staring ahead at nothing. She doesn't know how long she sat there, but it felt like she had been there for years.

Life moved on, but Sienna couldn’t. She got the house and all their belongings. She was the only surviving relative. She felt like her life was slipping past her, she felt like everything was moving and she was stuck in place.

She was on a treadmill but she couldn’t get up, she couldn’t get her legs under her and stand up and run.

Sienna felt... defeated. What did she have left? What did she have left to live for?

Her therapist told her she needed to get out and start a new life. She told her she needed to find people to talk to- to find new friends, but Sienna couldn’t. She didn't know how to talk to people. She was paranoid and she was terrified still. Art was still out there, he was still alive, and Sienna knew it was just a matter of time before he came after her again. She wouldn't get anyone else involved. She couldn't bear the thought of being responsible for another death.

Her therapist was nice. She was nice but Sienna didn't know how to open up. She didn't know how she could talk about the things that happened. She didn't know what she would even say. She didn't know why she decided to even go to therapy. She knew no one would be able to help her. She knew she couldn't talk about the things that actually happened- she knew she could never talk about the whole “demon” thing nor the immortal thing.

She thought maybe if she had someone there to just talk to her it would help. Maybe she thought that she would be able to talk about it with someone at least a little bit- maybe she hoped she would be able to open up to someone- but she didn’t see herself making any progress.

She was wasting the therapists time.

It was almost a year.

Siennas life was taken from her, and she didn't know how to get back on her feet. She missed her brother. She missed Jonathan. She wanted him back.

Christmas was coming again, and Sienna didn’t know if she would be able to handle it. Both Halloween and Christmas were ruined for her. Now all she could think about when she saw cute or creepy decorations was Art. Whenever she heard a Christmas song or any sort of Christmas carol, she felt like she couldn't breathe. She felt like she was back in the terrifier, she felt like she was back in her aunt's living room, tied to a chair, forced to watch those two murder her remaining family.

It was suffocating. Everything reminded her of the clown, everything around her reminded her of her dead family. She couldn’t stop thinking about the face of her auntie just before she got murdered, she couldn’t stop thinking about Gabbies terrified expression when Art dragged her into the room, she couldn’t stop thinking about seeing her slip with the sword deep into the pit-

She couldn’t stop imagining all the horrendous details, she couldn’t stop thinking about all the blood and the gore around her- the thick smell of all the blood making her sick to her stomach. She couldn’t get the smell out of her nose for weeks, still feeling like her nose was stuffed with all the blood of her now dead family. She would never forget the stench of blood and gore- she would never forget the smell of her family's blood.

Everything felt so overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time and she didn’t know what to do, how to function.

Most of her days were spent sitting at home, stuck in her own mind. She was struggling the five years after the first time she encountered Art, and she was finally starting get better, but now- now she went through the same thing again and she felt like she couldn't do anything. She lost everything and everyone again and she didn't know if it was even possible to move on from something like that. How do you move past that amount of trauma? How do you deal with something like that?

Sienna wanted nothing more than to just go back to her old life.

Getting groceries at the mall used to be a normal, casual and an easy task. Now, however, it felt overwhelming. She was scared, constantly looking over her shoulders and checking around to make sure he wasn’t there- that he wasn’t watching her, that he wasn’t waiting for her somewhere. Sienna knew for sure that he was out there, and it was just a matter of time before he got her.

She couldn’t help the anxiety creeping up on her every time she left the house, every time someone passed by her that she couldn’t see, every time she felt someone brush against her. Sienna hated feeling so scared and being so skittish. She felt like a wild animal sometimes.

Sienna stood frozen. He was there. He was right there, in her kitchen, making hot chocolate out of all things. The man who ruined her life, the man who killed everyone she ever cared about- the man who traumatized her- standing in her kitchen, making hot chocolate. The sweet smell of the warm liquid almost made her want to throw up.

She thought back to last year when he was standing there, nailing her uncles dead and decapitated body to the wall.

She felt like crying. She wanted to scream and yell, she wanted to get angry, she wanted to dash for a knife and stab him, she wanted to run it through his heart and gut him herself, she wanted to skin him alive and ask him how it felt. She wanted to make him scream and she wanted to hear his voice. She wanted to hear him be in pain. (She wasn’t sure if he even could talk, but the thought of making him scream in pain filled her with warmth.)

She couldn’t move. All that anger, all that want to get her revenge- all those overwhelming feelings disappeared as soon as they appeared, and all she could feel in that moment was resignation. All the fight left her. All the anger, the terror- it was all just gone. She felt exhausted and desperate and resigned.

She felt tears slipping down her cheeks.

She wanted to fight- but she knew there was no point. She wanted to run and scream and hide away to never be seen again- but she knew there was no point. He would always come back to haunt her, he would always come back to finish the job. There was nothing Sienna could do.

He was here to have his fun, he was here to end her, and Sienna had no fight left in her to even try and fight back if he tried.

Her breath hitched in her throat as she felt her knees give out. She reached for the chair in front of her to support her weight. She knew running away wouldn't help her. He would come for her if she didn't end him first. And she didn't know how to. She didn't have the will to try. She lost everything and everyone in her life- what does she have to lose? Her life doesn't feel like hers anymore. It feels like it's his.

Sienna stumbling and catching the chair to support herself was what got the clowns attention.

He turned around from his place at the stove and he smiled when he saw her. He was excited to see her.

Sienna didn’t know how to feel. She almost felt relieved. The clowns presence brought along with it such raw fear and anxiety- it felt familiar. Comforting almost. She closed her eyes as tears slipped down her face.

When she opened her eyes again she saw Art has turned away from her again and he was now pouring his hot chocolate from the pot into a mug.

Sienna felt like laughing at the absurdity.

The clown wasn’t paying attention. She could try and end him right now. She could cut off his head again, she could choke him from behind, she could stab him over and over again- but what would it matter? It wouldn’t do anything. He was seemingly immortal. And Sienna was tired of fighting.

She slipped into the chair and sat down.

The man turned around and put the mug in front of her and proudly presented it to her with a wicked smile that made her stomach turn. She looked at the mug before looking back at him.

He appeared to be unarmed. Sienna didn’t feel relieved by that fact at all. She knew she was going to meet her demise soon. She knew he was going to have his way with her, with, or without weapons. He was going to torture her and kill her anyway.

Sienna looked up at him. He was still smiling, looking at her. There was nothing in his eyes. They were scarily empty.

“Why?” She asked, her voice weak and shaky. She wanted to be angry at him, she wanted to be furious, but she couldn’t find it in herself to get mad. She had no more to give. She just wanted to know why he did what he did.

Art just shrugged in an exaggerated manner, looking all innocent- well, as innocent as a killer clown can look.

Sienna felt more tears welling up in her eyes. This man killed all her friends, her whole family, just because he was bored and felt like it. He did it just because he could, and Sienna was sure it was fun to him.

She slumped forward, her head resting on her hands as a sob escaped her. She started crying silently. She was sure the clown was enjoying her pain.

She heard him pull up a chair and sit down in it, right next to her.

She felt a hand touch her shoulder in what she thought was a comforting gesture.

Looking to the side at the clown, he had mock pity on his face. He was mocking her, laughing at her pain- and Sienna just broke. She sobbed and unwillingly leaned into the hand still on her shoulder. She felt the man tug her towards him and she let her body fall forwards into him.

Art slowly enveloped her in a hug and Sienna could feel him shaking. He was laughing.

He was laughing, he was comforting her to mock her- the killer, the monster who ruined her entire life- he was holding her close and comforting her just to remind her that she had no one else but him. She had no one and nothing left. All she had was her trauma and the painful memories.

Sienna sobbed into his chest and despite her conflicting emotions- his tight embrace felt comforting, and the realization made Sienna sob harder as one of his hands started petting her hair.

She felt safe in his arms, knowing he was going to be the one to kill her soon.

The promise of death felt like heaven to her broken and tortured mind.

#so um yea.#a fic from me #yippie #my writing #god damn thats a wild tag. never thought id be using that one #anyway #please heed the cws at the start #cw sui thoughts #cw sui ideation #terrifer 3 #terrifier fanfic #art the clown #sienna shaw

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lewis-winters · 1 year ago

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I was just curious but do you have any recs for period dramas about the philippines? I want to expand my period drama watching and im not quite sure where to start

Oh, the monster you've unleashed. YES I do have so many period dramas from and about the Philippines. Unfortunately, not all of them might be accessible to you if you're outside of the Philippines. Some of them are found on Amazon Prime, Netflix, and MUBI though. I'll make sure to put a lil note next to each film if they are. Also! these vary in genre (meaning: not all of them are war films, and some of these are horror films-- because this is me we're talking to, heh). I also have copies of some of these and will make a lil note next to each film if it's available for sharing, though I'll only give the link via DM. Please note, however, that they are all either in Tagalog, Bisaya, and/or other local Philippine Languages and not all of them have subtitles!

I also have very nuanced relationships with all these films, since Philippine History was my undergrad of choice. But to keep this post as brief as possible, I'm not going to talk about them at length. Though I will be including trigger warnings. Also note... some of these movies kinda suck HAAHAHAHA but I had way too much fun watching them so like. Please don't tell me they suck, please. I love them too much.

Also tagging @emmylynnaa because I promised her a similar list.

This is sorted by eras in Philippine History. Enjoy! (under the cut because it got long):

Spanish Occupation Era (1565 to 1898)

GomBurZa (2023) – A film following the GomBurZa, the three native Filipino Roman Catholic priests Gomez, Burgos, and Zamora executed during the latter years of the Spanish colonial era. TW: period typical violence. Furthermore, this is a Jesuit produced film so like. Once again. Take it with a grain of salt.

Jose Rizal (1998) - Jose Rizal's life and works are recounted through a series of non-linear flashbacks which reflect on various aspects of his life - as writer, propagandist, lover, friend, brother, doctor, and the man that inspired a revolution. Available on MUBI. TW: depiction of sexual assault by a priest. I also have a love-hate relationship with this film because on one hand, literally shaped my love of history. On the other hand, it is the MOST idealistic depiction of Jose Rizal ever + very historically inaccurate in many places, please watch this with a grain of salt.

Maria Clara at Ibarra (2022 – 2023) – A series about a girl from the 21st century who is magically transported into Jose Rizal’s famous novels Noli me Tangere and El Filibusterismo (you know, the novels that helped spark the Filipino Revolution against the Spanish). The synopsis sounds cheesy but trust me, it’s very good. Available to watch on the GMA official webpage. I just don’t know if you can access it outside of the country. TW: rape, abuses of the Catholic church, period typical violence, abuses of Spanish colonialists. A personal favorite—the costumes? Divine. And the character arcs are also really lovely. Helps you understand Philippine contemporary culture, too.

Katipunan: TV Mini Series (2013) – A mini-series depicting the creation of the Kataastaasan Kagalang-galang na Katipunan ng mga Anak ng Bayan (or the KKK—no, not the white supremacist group; that’s unfair, by the way, we did it first), the revolutionary organization founded in 1892 by Filipino Nationalists against Spanish Colonialization. Available to watch on the GMA official webpage. I just don’t know if you can access it outside of the country. TW: depictions of rape aftermath by Spanish soldiers, period typical violence, torture, graphic depictions of a corpse. This is a personal favorite of mine.

Hele sa Hiwagang Hapis/A Lullaby to the Sorrowful Mystery (2016) - Andrés Bonifacio is celebrated as the father of the Philippines Revolution against Spanish colonial rule. This eight-hour epic examines this myth, undertaking an expedition into history through various interwoven narrative threads, held together by an exploration of the individual’s role in history. Available on Mubi. TW: it is literally eight hours long. But that’s Lav Diaz for you. I love him, but oh my god is he an acquired taste.

Ang Kababaihan ng Malolos (2014) - The saga of the 20 Filipino women who petitioned for the opening of a school in a time when women weren’t given the chance to do so.

Ganito Kami Noon... Paano Kayo Ngayon? (1976) – Set during the end of Spanish colonization and the start of American colonization. After his mother's death, the simple-minded and naïve Kulas (Christopher De Leon) begins his much-awaited trip to Manila. On his way to Manila, he mindlessly takes on the mission of retrieving a friar's son and bringing him to the friar's residence.

Mallari (2023) - A horror film chronicling the deeds of the first recorded serial killer in the Philippines. This film spans decades, all the way up to present day. It's kinda stupid. Like. Really stupid. That's ok. We watch it because we want to see Piolo Pascual and JC Santos covered in blood. TW: oh my god so many bodies and so much gore.

Filipino-American War and America Occupation (1899 – 1940s) (this era has the best films, actually, if you want a place to start and start strong? start here)

Amigo (2010) - A local leader of a small Filipino barangay must decide whether to keep the peace with the American troops occupying his village or join the insurgency with his brother and son. TW: racism, sexual harassment, graphic depictions of corpses, gore, period typical violence.

Heneral Luna (2015) - Set during the Philippine-American war, Heneral Luna follows the life of one of Philippine History's most brilliant soldier, General Antonio Luna, as he tries to lead his countrymen against colonial masters new and old, and to rise above their own raging disputes to fulfill the promise of the Philippine Revolution. Available on Netflix. TW: short scene depicting the aftermath of sexual assault, period typical violence, and graphic depictions of a corpse. Again, one of my favorites. I have so many happy memories of this film + the fandom it birthed! I miss it sometimes.

Angelito (2018) – The short film that bridges both Heneral Luna and Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral, depicting the brothers Manuel and Jose Bernal – Antonio Luna’s aides-de-camp – and their youngest brother Angel, two days before the General’s assassination. This film you can find on Youtube!

Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral (2019) – The sequel of Heneral Luna, this film follows the story of Gregorio 'Goyo' del Pilar, one of the youngest Generals during the Philippine-American War who fought in the historic Battle of Tirad Pass. Available on Netflix. TW: short scenes of torture, period typical violence, and graphic depictions of a corpse. Again, a personal favorite for the same reasons stated above. Though it’s not as strong as Heneral Luna, I gotta say.

Ang Larawan (2017) - In a musical tale about standing together against materialism, two impoverished sisters anguish over whether or not to sell a painting, the final masterpiece by their recluse father. A bitter struggle for survival against betrayal set in pre-World War II Manila. A personal favorite, oh my god. This film. Oh my god, this film.

World War 2 and its aftermath (1940 – 1950)

Quezon’s Game (2018) - In 1938, Philippine President Manuel L. Quezon, military adviser Dwight D. Eisenhower, along with other notable figures, set out to rescue Jewish refugees fleeing Nazi Germany. Quezon simultaneously deals with a relapse of tuberculosis. Available on Amazon Prime. TW: talk of genocide and short scenes depicting the murder of Jewish people by the Nazis.

Tatlong Taong Walang Dios (1976) - A woman falls in love with a Japanese soldier during the Japanese Occupation in the Philippines; the whole town turns against her. TW: rape. Think Malena.

Oro, Plata, Mata (1982) - Set in the Philippine island of Negros during World War II, it tells the story of how two hacendero families cope with the changes brought about by the war. TW: rape

Kusina (2016) – Her kitchen. The silent witness to the life and love of Juanita. It is her sanctuary, the place where she creates dishes for her family, friends, even enemies and strangers. Through cooking, she gets to know the people around her. TW: violent child birth, death of mother in child birth, sexual harassment by Japanese soldiers. This spans multiple decades, all the way up to Martial Law.

In My Mother’s Skin (2023) - Stranded in the Philippines during World War II, a young girl finds that her duty to protect her dying mother is complicated by her misplaced trust in a beguiling, flesh-eating fairy. Available on Amazon Prime. TW: body horror, gore, explicit depictions of a corpse, period typical violence.

Markova: Comfort Gay (2000) – A coming of age drama film loosely based on the life of Walter Dempster Jr., the last surviving Filipino “comfort gay” (male sex slaves for the Imperial Japanese Army) from World War II. TW: CSA, wartime systemic rape, rape.

Comfort Women: A Cry for Justice (1994) – The story of how two sisters and the rest of the women of Sta. Monica are forced into sex slavery by Japanese soldiers during World War 2. TW: wartime systemic rape, rape, and period typical violence.

Seklusyon (2016) - In 1947, a group of deacons (aspiring priests) on their last week of training are sent to a remote monastery to live in seclusion for seven days to protect them from the devil, who on the last few days of training attempts to break the will of deacons to make them reconsider their choice of becoming priests. During their seclusion, a little girl named Anghela, believed by locals to be a living saint because of her healing abilities, appears at the monastery seeking refuge. Available on Amazon. TW: pedophilia, gore, body horror, Catholicism, religious horror.

Corazon: Ang Unang Aswang (2012) - A psychological thriller film detailing the psychological breakdown of a woman struggling with infertility in post-war Philippines. If you want to see women go feral, this is fun.

Martial Law (1970 – 1980) (actually, you know what? I lied. This era is the era with the best films. God, these are CLASSICS and are the ones that’ll help you understand contemporary Philippine culture the most; definitely start here)

Manila, sa mga Kuko ng Liwanag (1975) - Júlio Madiaga, a 'provinciano', arrives in Manila to search for his beloved, Ligaya. TW: coerced sex work, sexual abuse. Once again, a Filipino cinema classic.

Insiang (1976) - After a teenager is raped by her mother's boyfriend, she sets out to exact revenge on anyone who has hurt her. TW: I mean. It says it right there. Though it’s not actually shown on screen, it is very heavily implied. She doesn’t die in the end, if you’re wondering.

Dekada ’70 (2002) - A middle-class Filipino family struggles to survive in the era of dictatorship. This is a fucking classic in Filipino cinema. Available on MUBI. TW: sexual harrassment, discussion of torture, depictions of wounds and beatings, period typical violence. Martial Law was rough.

Aparisyon (2012) – A psychological drama film set in early 1970s, where the story about the nuns in the period immediately preceding the declaration of martial law by Ferdinand Marcos. The film’s director, Isabel Sandoval, is a transgender woman and an absolute visionary. Her other films Senorita (2011) and Lingua Franca (2019) are also very good, please check it out. All films are available for streaming through the Criterion Channel. TW: rape, religious trauma, period typical violence, Catholicism.

Lihis (2013) - Set in the 70’s during the darkest hours of Philippine History, we follow the story of two young NPA warriors who find themselves entangled in a web of frustration, despair and victory as they fight not only for democracy but also their love for each other. Available on MUBI. TW: Infidelity.

Barber’s Tales (2014) - In a rural town in the Philippines during the Marcos dictatorship, the newly widowed Marilou inherits the town's only barbershop from her husband- a business that has been passed down by generations of men in her husband's family. With no other means of support, she musters the courage to run the barbershop.

Dahling Nick (2015) - Dahling Nick is a docu-drama exploring the life and works of National Artist for Literature Nick Joaquin, who only accepted the National Artist Award on the condition that the Marcos administration release a well-known writer who was being unjustly detained during Martial Law. I love Nick Joaquin. He’s shaped my understanding of the Magical Realist genre far more than any of his contemporaries have. This film is notoriously difficult to get your hands on, so I suggest going to read his anthology by Penguin Classics called the Tropical Gothic instead!

Respeto (2017) - Hendrix is a poor aspiring rapper who wants to make a name for himself in the underground rap battle scene and gain respect in the community. After attempting to rob a second-hand bookstore in the neighborhood, he is discovered by the owner, Doc, an old poet with a haunted past as a dissident. Not necessarily period, but definitely has its roots in Martial Law.

Liway (2018) – A film about the kip, a young boy growing up in a prison as the son of anti-Marcos dissident Cecilia Flores-Oebanda, better known as Commander Liway, during the waning days of the Marcos dictatorship. It is currently streaming on Youtube!

The Kingmaker (2019) - is a 2019 documentary film written and directed by Lauren Greenfield, featuring the political career of Imelda Marcos with a focus on the Marcos family's efforts to rehabilitate the family's image and to return to political power, including her plans to see her son, Bongbong, become President of the Philippines, and the alliance that Bongbong and Imee Marcos established with Rodrigo Duterte in his bid to win the 2016 Philippine presidential election. Available on Youtube! if outside of the Philippines, use VPN.

1980s – 2000s Philippines

Misteryo sa Tuwa (1984) - The fortunes of three impoverished friends and their families abruptly change after an airplane crashes in a nearby mountain.

Alpha Kappa Omega Batch ’81 (1982) – A psychological drama film depicting the titular fraternity's harsh initiation of new batch members as seen through the eyes of pre-med student Sid Lucero. TW: hazing, torture, psychological torture. It’s fucked up, actually.

Himala (1982) – During a total eclipse Elsa, a young girl from rural Philippines, allegedly witnesses an apparition of the Virgin Mary on top of the hill where, as an infant, she was found and adopted by Saling. Said visions change her life and cause a sensation hysteria in a poor, isolated northern village in the midst of drought. TW: rape, religious fanaticism, religious trauma.

Adela (2008) - The story of Adela, which takes place in the span of one day, is a heartbreaking story of a woman who longs for the company of her loved ones. This isn’t actually period. This film just breaks my heart. And of course, it has acting legend Anita Linda in it. How could I not recommend it?

Now Showing (2008) - Rita is named after a famous American movie star whom her late, former actress grandmother once adored. She lives in one of Manila’s oldest districts with her mother and aunt. Years later, she is still the same girl enamoured with television, now tending to her aunt’s stall selling pirated DVDs.

Elegy to the Visitor from the Revolution (2011) - A woman from the end of the 19th century visits modern day Philippines and observes three interwoven stories: that of a prostitute, a group of criminals and a musician. This is another Lav Diaz one. It’s long.

K’na The Dreamweaver (2014) - K’na is a young woman coming into her own in the mountains of South Cotabato, where the T’boli live, overlooking the majestic and mystical Lake Sebu. She is part of the royal family of the South bank of the lake, part of the clan that was banished from the North Bank centuries ago after what the elders call The Great Betrayal. At a young age, K’na, is trained in the art of weaving the T’bolit’nalak. The design of the t’nalak fabric comes from the visions granted by Fu Dalu, the goddess of abaca, only to deserving women who become dreamweavers. K’na’s grandmother, Be Lamfey, is the village’s last master dreamweaver. When Be Lamfey dies, the gift of dreamweaving is passed to K’na and her father, LobongDitan, decides to put an end to the warring clans of Lake Sebu once and for all by arranging a marriage between K’na and Kagis, the heir to the throne of North bank. Meanwhile, K’na has fallen in love with Silaw, a childhood friend whose family supplies the finest abaca fibers to the dreamweavers. Silaw leaves love messages for her by tying bits of abaca thread to a tree outside K’na’s window. As the marriage grows near, a revolution brews among those who do not believe in the union of the two royal clans.

Smaller and Smaller Circles (2017) - Two Jesuit priests, Gus Saenz and Jerome Lucero perform forensic work to solve the mystery revolving around the murders of young boys in Payatas, one of Metro Manila's biggest slum areas. While dealing with the systematic corruption of the government, church, and the elite, the two priests delve into criminal profiling, crime scene investigation, and forensic analysis to solve the killings, and eventually, find the murderer. Available on Netflix. TW: child death, talk of child sexual abuse at the hands of the Catholic Church and at the hands of teachers, graphic depictions of a corpse, film also triggering to folks who suffer from claustrophobia.

Billie and Emma (2018) – An LGBT coming of age story set in the mid-1990s featuring two teenaged girls Billie and Emma as they grapple with topics such as sexuality, family, religion, unplanned pregnancy, and the uncertainty of the future.

#philippine cinema #filipino cinema #film recommendations #film rec #filipino period dramas #period dramas #philippine history #filipino history #please heed the tags there's a lot of violence in there #we have a very violent history

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