#heavens to betsy

[foronly]

Corin Tucker with Sleater-Kinney at Lollapalooza in Chicago, IL. August 4th 2006

[doctorcurdlejr]

Heavens to Betsy - Calculated

[live-from-ny]

the show where it all began (i.e. carrie met corin)

[riflegutz]

Me because I listen to the same music the alternative kids listen to but I dress basic asf so none of them know or approach me 💔

[possiblyweedfart]

riot grrrl + riot grrl adjacent bands that i love and that u should definitely check out :)))

[watermellongirlfriend]

When he opens your journal and sees his school email, school schedule, current Instagram account, old Instagram account, and his old meme account from 2019 written

[bra1nxfreeze]

[venusangelite]

On lesbian bpd relationships

1- complicated by heavens to betsy

2- girl, interrupted 1999

3- brand new city by mitski

4- all over me 1997

5 and 7- bojack horseman season 2 episode 10

6- lost and delirious 2001

8/9/10- heavenly creatures 1994

(disclaimer ik not all of these are bpd or lesbian its more about the emotions from my experience)

[foronly]

Corin Tucker with Cadallaca. The Garage, Los Angeles, California, USA, 1999

[vieoeil-riae]

lest and steb edit on tiktok biting and moaning on my phone BY GOD!! ☝️☝️☝️☝️

[beeblebub]

Everyone meet BETSY STATEN - My Bob’s Burgers OC/Self-insert!!!

Backstory under the cut:

Betsy Staten is a 27-year-old recent-divorcee who is trying out a new start.

She got her big break as one-half of a popular “couple channel” on ViewTube (YouTube): Betsy and Mack. They got pretty big, doing Vlogs, gaming videos, challenge videos and more. Until one day, while she was coming home from visiting her sick father, Betsy walked in on Mack with another woman and just left without another word, without even packing up most of her belongings. In a hurry to get away, she reached out to a realtor to find a new place to live, with only 2 requirements: by the water, and with easily accessible entertainment. When Betsy sat down to look at her options, a crumpled up Wonder Wharf flier fell out of the bottom of the pile, and she made her decision right away. This place will work. It’s quiet, but not quiet enough to be boring. It’s far enough away from people that she can be on her own, and most of all… It’s a shithole. And Mack hates shithole towns. She moves into a nice house on the coast.

After settling into her big empty new home she has a bit of a breakdown—cutting and dying her hair and everything. But once she settles down, she realizes she’s hungry and goes into town to find someplace to eat. She isn’t feeling seafood or pizza, so she decides on this “little green burger shop” by the Wharf. Right as she sits down, the friendly lady that works there (Linda) sparks up a conversation with her. Betsy likes the food and service so much that she keeps coming back every day for lunch, eventually getting to know Bob and Linda and getting along with them. All of a sudden, she stops showing up. During this break, a sudden influx of customers begins to pour in for the restaurant. They keep talking about “is this the place? It seems like the place she was talking about.” As if they had narrowed down the location themselves, with internet detective skills. And there’s so many. The restaurant was never this busy, and they’re finally making a good amount, they even made rent on time!

One night, after the days-long rush has started to settle down, an exhausted Linda brings up that she thinks “that Betsy girl” probably had something to do with this, and she takes to the internet to get to the bottom of things. She soon discovers the popular couple channel—Betsy and Mack. The most recent video on the page, after so many thumbnails of a happy couple, is a video of a sad-looking Mack, all by himself, titled “She’s Gone.” When Linda hits play, she and Bob watch an overly-tearful man onscreen describe how his wife just left without a word, how heartbroken and worried he is, how he doesn’t understand why she would run off like this, etc. Linda starts to rant about how she can’t believe someone would do that, and how irresponsible that is. But Bob points out a related video that pops up, from a separate channel “Betsy Staten” titled “The Truth” with a thumbnail that just shows Betsy’s solemn face in an empty room.

They open up the video and let it play. Betsy sits down in front of the camera and very calmly explains what actually happened. She talks about how she was away for a while, taking care of her sick father. She talks about how his health was rapidly declining, and how Mack refused to join her when she left to help. And she explains what she saw when she did briefly come home—Mack in bed with another woman. So she left, without saying a word. She takes a pause to gather herself before continuing, letting the viewer know that just a few days ago, her father passed away. On the same day that Mack posted that fake-crying video. She starts to cry. (Real tears this time.) Linda cries with her, on the other side of the screen.

Video-Betsy goes on to tell the full truth, that Mack was horrible to her. He treated her like a dog, ever since she was a teenager. He was verbally and mentally abusive the whole time—A perfectionist who would take his frustrations out on her. She follows these claims up with clips and everything, that she had secretly recorded herself—fully exposing Mack and his lies.

After outing her now ex-husband as the abuser that he is, she goes on to talk about how things are looking up. She talks about her new big empty house that she’s so excited about, and how much she looks forward to finally finding herself. And then she goes into talking about her new favorite place: A local burger place! She talks about how much she feels like home there, how good the food is, and even takes a bite of her takeout burger in the video. She uses this to wrap things up, wishing her viewers well, letting them know she misses them and that she’ll be back to making her own videos soon.

A couple days later, after the initial traffic boom had settled down a bit, Betsy comes back to the restaurant. She’s immediately greeted by an unexpected bear hug from Linda, who now knows her whole tragic backstory and has decided to be Betsy’s new “mom.” After all the crap that Betsy went through she happily welcomes this. After Bob thanks Betsy for the subtle publicity and explains that it helped them out a lot, Betsy gets an idea. She decides to invest in the restaurant—and it’s revealed that she has CRAZY YouTube money that she now wants to get rid of. She says it’s “Mack’s money, and it stinks, but it still spends the same.” But it comes with a catch—Betsy wants to work for him. She was an accountant before going viral online, and she loves math and numbers, and even balances the restaurant’s finances in a flash. So she wants to be the “manager” of the restaurant. Bob is hesitant, not wanting to repeat the whole Warren Tiki Bar scenario, but Betsy explains she is against that entirely. She is “tired of making decisions for men.” All of the decision making power rests on Bob as the owner, she’ll just handle the boring money parts. And at first, she doesn’t want to be paid, and when Bob says he legally has to, she agrees on the lowest possible wage. She just loves this place and wants to help it in any way she can.

This also includes being the kids’ free babysitter! The family is visited by Jen, who announces that she’ll be moving away to a different state with her Notary boyfriend. (Yes the monotone guy from that Valentine’s Day episode.) Linda is distressed that they won’t get able to find a long-term sitter at her rate, but then Betsy interjects and offers to do it for free. She has a special bond with each kid.

Tina: Betsy sees Tina as a younger version of herself, finding so many similarities in how she was at 13. She is protective of Tina and will often go out of her way to make sure her “little sister” is happy. After getting over the initial frustration of getting demoted to “part-time babysitter” AGAIN, Tina quickly warms up. To her, Betsy is so cool. She looks up to her and sees her as a “big sister” and best friend. They are often found pairing up for shenanigans, and call themselves “Team BS” (Team Big Sister) and Tina quickly becomes a huge fan of Betsy’s content.

Gene: A slightly-younger curvier version of his mom?? Sign him UP. Gene is vocal about his crush on Betsy, no matter how uncomfortable it makes the people around him (including Betsy herself.) It’s a typical “I have a crush on the babysitter” type of relationship. He gets jealous of the guys Betsy ends up dating, but never takes it out on anyone, other than giving these guys a proper roasting once in a while. Betsy doesn’t mind and thinks he’s sweet, though she tries to steer his affection in a different direction most times.

Louise: Out loud, Louise will tell you Betsy is a huge nerd who she doesn’t care about AT ALL… But she’ll steal the laptop or the emergency phone after dark to watch the same 10 Betsy videos on repeat until she’s caught. She is enamored with Betsy’s version of fame, and tries to get in on if all the time—thinking up video ideas, offering to be in a video or “help” with one, etc. But she’d never let you know that she’s actually a huge fan. (Everyone can tell.)

————

And that’s pretty much the breakdown! I have lots of side-stories and “episodes” I’ve written out so I’m hoping to put those in a comic form at some point, titled “Heavens to Betsy” but this is just the overview. I’ve been working on her as a character for years now, so I’m ready to show her off. Keep an eye out for more 😤

[infriga]

Bro the bathroom scene with Yoojin and Taewon

[doctorcurdlejr]

Kill Rock Stars

[asphyxiatedredherring]

I need to inject Terrorist by Heavens to Betsy into my veins and find several more hours of music that sounds exactly like it

[riflegutz]

Why the fuck did I just ask that

[watermellongirlfriend]

When he opens your journal and sees his school email, school schedule, current Instagram account, old Instagram account, and his old meme account from 2019