#heaven is for quitters

[sinceileftyoublog]

FaltyDL Interview: A Conversation With Myself

BY JORDAN MAINZER

At a time when playing club music was untenable, Drew Lustman was halfway out the door anyway. The New York-based producer and electronic musician, known as FaltyDL, had been making great house and garage-inspired electronic music for over a decade, including his 2016 career best Heaven Is for Quitters. Increasingly, even as his audience grew, he grew out of the dance music world, his creative expressions more introspective as he wished to connect with people as individuals rather than crowds as collectives. Stints writing with Mykki Blanco helped Lustman step outside of his comfort zone and find his voice as an auteur, and watching Blanco collaborate with other artists helped subside a lot of Lustman’s fears of reaching out to musicians he admired. Ultimately, when clubs closed, it was the final straw rather than the instigator: Lustman was ready to start again, from almost quitting music to reinventing himself. The result is A Nurse to My Patience, released earlier last month on his imprint Blueberry Records.

While A Nurse to My Patience is notable in the music world in general for being chock full of some of the finest experimental and rock musicians of the past twenty years, it’s even more notable within FaltyDL’s catalog itself. That is, it’s the first time Lustman has written lyrics and sung on record. He therapeutically reflects on his club-centered anxiety on “Berlin”, describing the false highs (“In my mind I feel like a king”) and the comedowns (“Now I’m feeling nothing / Stretched out like a starfish on a bed”). The video of first single “Four Horses” shows Lustman at different stages of his career, reflecting on his own mortality, singing gently around sinewy guitar lines. Julianna Barwick provides elegiac background vocals, as if an omniscient narrator to Lustman’s life. “A Vow” sees all of his insecurities rise to the surface, while “One Way Or Another” is warm collaboration with Blanco, this time on a FaltyDL record. Add in Medicine’s Brad Laner on the squealing electric guitar noise jam “XTOC”, Interpol’s Paul Banks on the sprechgesang techno of “Come See Us”, Gang Gang Dance’s Brian DeGraw on the wincing “Doves Fears”, and Hot Chip’s Joe Goddard on new wave anthem “God Light”, and you’ve got one of the most varied records of the year, let alone in FaltyDL’s already deep catalog.

Earlier this year, I spoke with Lustman over the phone from his home studio in Bed-Stuy in Brooklyn, the very place where he made A Nurse to My Patience. Though he’s immensely proud of the record, he always sports a sense of perspective, which at worst can come in the form of admitted navel-gazing self-doubt but at best contemplation on the impact his music has. “I’m constantly having a conversation with myself about the art I’m making, whether it’s good, and why I’m making it,” Lustman said.

Read the rest of our conversation below, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: The pandemic catalyzed your exit from the club world, but what about the dance scene was grinding your gears?

Drew Lustman: That’s a good way to put it. It’s a huge question I don’t have definitive answers to because I don’t want to close the door on club music in my life. I want to make more of it and get inspired by it from time to time. But I wasn’t having fun touring and traveling, and I stopped listening to club music quickly in succession with that, and then I stopped making it as much. I’m of two minds about being in clubs, unless I really want to be there. I feel kind of awkward being there--it’s just sort of a job. I also didn’t like the way DJing was going in general, with all of the focus on the DJ, everyone on the dance floor just sort of staring at the DJ, and I’m just playing songs back to back. It felt like it was stroking my ego in a way I didn’t want or feared in the end. I have a lot of friends who are very successful DJs, and I find myself looking at them and thinking, “Oh, that would be dope if I got back into touring and built it up like they did.” But it feels weird. 

It’s carried into even this [material.] I don’t plan on performing this album at all. Sometimes, I finish a performance and DJ set and feel so good, but I ultimately crash the next day. I’m totally sober when I’m DJing and the next day, but I don’t feel fulfilled by it. It takes a certain time in your life or set of circumstances to really be down with that type of experience. I haven’t outgrown it, because I don’t think I’m above it, but I think I’ve sidestepped it. It doesn’t tickle me in the same way.

SILY: Around the 2010s, there was definitely a major shift from the DJ as a provider of experience to “star” DJs where it was less about dancing in a club around other people and more about watching the person playing the music. 

DL: Yeah. I don’t want to speak for anyone else and say it doesn’t have its place. Clearly, it works. It’s so popular and has such a huge ecosystem that seems to only be growing. It’s kind of one of the last self-sustaining musical models. Even bigger bands can’t make a living touring anymore. There are so many people involved, that at the end of the day, the take-home is very small, plus travel, and all that. The DJs you see that are very successful are also like unicorns: There’s not many you see on that level. I remember doing a lot of tours when I first started that looked great and were super fun, and I’d come home and would be at a loss. My cellphone bill would clear me out. I hope it’s there when I want to return to it in a positive way, but it’s not doing it for me right now.

SILY: So would you say A Nurse to My Patience is a headphones record?

DL: Yeah, for sure. In one way, because it won’t be performed live, but if I can extend “headphones” to any sort of home listening, then yes. I did make it on really big monitors and bump it loud when I play it in the car. I think my music was always this solo trip, to be enjoyed by yourself in a way, not excluding any sort of communal club experience. I do hope that people put it on and form some sort of personal relationship with it and it helps them in some way that can only really be done on your own.

SILY: At what point did you decide to try your hand at writing lyrics and recording yourself singing?

DL: Working with Mykki was really encouraging. This figure entered my life, and we started recording music together. Before we even knew each other well, there was this level of comfort that was set in the studio where Mykki would take on these various characters and sing in various ways. It was very freeing to feel like I could be different versions of myself, too, at various moments. By the time I decided to try singing on one of the tracks--I was thinking, if I could do every other aspect of the song, from writing and creating to mixing and producing--it would be cool if I could sing on it, too. These lyrics poured out of me. I developed my own techniques to try to get my voice to sound good, because I’m not really a trained singer, either.

SILY: Had you ever written lyrics or sung before, independent of whether it was recorded?

DL: Not so much, but I was helping Mykki write some of the hooks and a few lyrics and suggesting things. Just seeing that process firsthand demystified a bit of it for me. Also, they make it look so easy because they’re very good at it and have been writing poetry and singing for such a long time. What it takes for me to try anything is to see someone do it in a way it doesn’t seem like a struggle.

SILY: At what point did you decide to involve Mykki and all of these collaborators in your songs?

DL: There’s a good story for each one. Mykki was easy--we had already made upwards of 30 songs together, so I just texted them. The way Mykki was rapping on my track, we were in New York, wrapping things up, making a radio edit of one of the songs from last year’s record. I started getting really tired, and Mykki was like, “Drew, I’m only here for one more hour, what do you want to do?” So I played a song from the album, and Mykki was like, “That’s it!” They wrote the lyrics right there and rapped it, and it was done in an hour.

Brad Laner was someone I’ve been listening to for a very long time. He’s released music on Planet Mu under a couple different names, and so did I. That label has an ecosystem where you can reach out to others that have had a similar experience and talk about what it’s like being there. It was very easy to reach out to Brad--we started collaborating over the pandemic. I’d send stems over, and Brad would send back a whole bunch of guitar and synth parts. We have a whole lot more we’re working on--hopefully there’s a whole project between the two of us.

Julianna Barwick, I just cold-emailed her. She got back really enthusiastic and recorded a bunch on two tracks. I couldn’t decide which one I liked more, so I included both of them on the album.

Paul Banks, I reached out to through management, and he was the first big feature to come in. I’ve been sitting on "Come See Us” for a good two years, now. His vocals were in my inbox two weeks after we reached out. I think the stars aligned: Paul was probably home during the pandemic, between recording stuff for Interpol and Muzz, that the timing was right. I thought, “I’ve got Paul Banks on the album, I’m doing something right.”

Joe Goddard, I also reached out to through management, and he responded really positively. We’ve had a few correspondences in the past here and there, having remixed similar artists and shared sides of a 12". I’ve been a fan of Hot Chip and Joe’s solo stuff. A couple things he’s done have really resonated with me over the years. The label Joe was helping run, Greco-Roman, they were a fan of mine, so my name was rolling around the office there. They had my records up on the wall.

These songs took their time, but it was cool because nobody was going anywhere, and after a couple months, I had all these parts. I sang the bridge on Joe’s track, “God Light”. It was like a little duet with Joe.

Brian DeGraw is another New York musician with notoriety, from Gang Gang Dance to his own beautiful solo work and painting. A truly multi-disciplinary artist. Bryan remixed me years ago on my Hardcourage album. He’s also helped me with some video work over the years. I just hit him up! We were both home and able to send stems back and forth quickly. Because he’s in New York, I’d love to do a lot more work with him.

So it was a mix of cold-calling people and contact people through management. There were folks I reached out to that said no or didn’t respond. I’m no stranger to hearing no or getting no response, so I thought, “Let’s just go out another circle. Who else is available?”

SILY: I can’t imagine “Come See Us” without Paul’s voice. It’s so unmistakable and fits the music very well. Same with “God Light” and Joe. That sort of drum machine-laden, new wave/post-punk with the bass and guitar and his British accent, it sounds like a song from the 80s. Did you have these collaborators in mind for those specific tracks, or did you want to work with them no matter what?

DL: I sent a few tracks at a time and let them pick the ones they liked the most. When I was making the tracks and thought, “This could use a vocal,” then the names started floating around. The only way I’ve been able to make music, whether for myself or someone else, is to start the song as if it’s just for me. It’s kind of selfish, but it’s the only way I can stay focused and give it my all and not cut corners. I’m making it as closed, for myself, following some sort of compass. As it shakes out, I think, “Could I involve someone else or invite someone else on?” That’s kind of new, to be honest. My music was always a solo thing.

SILY: A song like “A Vow” has just you on it. Is that a more personal song?

DL: The songs “A Vow” or “Berlin” both have very straightforward meanings. “Berlin” is about going on tour, becoming someone else, feeling anxious, and being in Berlin and how that’s always made me kind of anxious for various reasons. “A Vow” is about how I feel about myself at my worst. I’m really beating myself up in that song: “I received a letter / Everyone thinks I’m a loser / It’s clear now / My place is in the rear now.” That’s the aging musician thinking they’ve had a really good run and that they can still make music but they have to take a new form. It’s not bad, it’s just how it goes. I was talking to someone the other day, and they said, “If you can get 10 years in music, that’s incredible.” Here I am, pushing my way through half of my second 10 years, and I agree with it, but you can keep going as long as you want. What you want out of it and what you can get out of it sort of changes.

SILY: The beat on “One Hitter” reminds me a lot of LCD Soundsystem’s “Losing My Edge”, whose themes are basically what you just said.

DL: Yeah. That was an influence. So was a Caribou track. I thought I always liked LCD a lot, maybe it was a little...

SILY: Too on the nose?

DL: Well, at the time it came out, I was into harder things like jungle and drum and bass, so I found most pop and rock a little too clean. But the energy is sort of similar, and the rhythm is definitely a “Losing My Edge” rhythm.

SILY: What about touring made you dislike it so much?

DL: I didn’t like it for a very long time. I toured my ass off from 2009-2015. I did about 150 gigs, went to Europe 10 times a year, went to Asia, South America, really got all over the place. As I settled in, got a bit older, got into a relationship, and had a kid on the way, life changed in various ways where I didn’t want to be away. I did start to develop some separation anxiety where it got harder. I was playing bigger rooms to more people and bigger fees, but I was getting more and more anxious traveling and leaving. It’s like I have a little PTS from touring, but there was no singular traumatic event. Over the years, I started feeling, “This isn’t what I want to do, but I’m going to keep doing it because it is what I do.” I built the skillset, but staying and doing something I didn’t want to do caused it to become this grating thing. I’m having to figure out other ways to make a living, which is fine because I want to grow as a person and acquire new skills.

SILY: Who sings on “Zoo Jarre”?

DL: I’m singing the vocals, but all of the [mimics laughter] is my girlfriend. I recorded her having a conversation and pitched it up and changed the decay and the sustain so it’s all chopped up and percussive. I put a phaser on it and stereo expander, all this stuff to make it sound that way. It’s a nod to Jean-Michel Jarre’s Zoolook where he does some really awesome vocal manipulation.

SILY: On “Play A Little Rough With Me”, you’re basically rapping. Is that something you learned from working with Mykki?

DL: [laughs] It’s funny, I listened to my cadence at some point and thought it definitely sounded like I was rapping. I don’t want to say that it’s rapping. It’s more like talk-singing in a Frank Zappa way. But it’s fair to say I’m rapping. I do not view myself as a rapper. I had written a lot of songs where I wrote a verse and repeated one hook, and I thought, “Let me write two long verses.” They’re mirror images of each other; one is a mirror image of the other verse. That track almost didn’t make it. My girlfriend was saying, “It’s gotta go on!” It’s the one I feel the most self-conscious about.

SILY: Are you self-conscious about it for its themes or how it sounds? It’s a very intimate song.

DL: That’s funny. I feel like I’m being goofy there. I feel goofy singing, “Let’s grow old together and get a home” and then saying, “Come play a little rough with me and let’s not live together.” That’s sort of the two vibes. It’s totally fine--it’s not even about my relationship. But the vocal delivery makes me feel a little cringe. It all does. I can’t listen to this anymore.

SILY: Really?

DL: A little bit! I’ve been working on it for so long. I keep putting it on, 5 seconds of a track, and asking myself, “This is still good, right?” I then realize, “Yeah, it’s good, it’s good, it’s okay, it’s fine.” I’d rather get to work on the next thing.

SILY: Was this album something you just needed to get out of your system in order to make another pivot? Or is it the start of something new for you?

DL: I think it’s the start of something new. I have the outline of what could be a follow-up record next year, with a couple remixes of these tracks and some new stuff in a similar frame. I’m moving towards a King Crimson-esque, heavier rock sound at the moment. I was just looking at violins on Craigslist. I want to get a violin, prepare it, and play it. I’m paring back my music more and more to the point where my next album could be ambient. Once I got out of the club circuit, I became okay with the fact that if I don’t release club music, I won’t get DJ gigs. Now that I’m becoming okay with that, I have less ego involved and can do whatever I want musically. In the club world, you’re only as good as the last record you’ve released. You can release a bangin’ 12" and tour on it forever, but if you then release something that’s not as good, it might affect your bookings. I assume that’s the same way with everything. But if you don’t care about bookings, you’re so free. You can do whatever you want. If you’re constantly reintroducing yourself, it can be hard for the press to connect the dots. That’s the gamble. But my favorite artists are always taking different turns here and there.

SILY: What’s the meaning behind the record title?

DL: Two things. It’s a line from a Fanny Howe poem. She’s listing a whole bunch of things, and it’s one of the things she lists. I read it during the pandemic and really connected with it. One of the reasons this album took so long is I started taking a little advice from folks that I should wait for the Mykki music to come out, and then my music afterwards, and it was very music industry, business-oriented advice. It was the antithesis of my artistic inclinations, which is to make stuff and release it so I can make more stuff and release that. I needed this thing to keep me busy, and the album became a nurse to my patience. It was this thing I would dive into. If I wasn’t going to see Mykki for a month or two, I needed something else to get my mind off that.

SILY: What’s the story behind the cover art?

DL: I did a photo session with James Hartley for some photos for the Studio Barnhus EP. We got along so well, I wanted to work together again. I thought if I was making a rock record, I’ve always loved classic rock albums that have the artist on the cover. You don’t see it as much in electronic music. I really wanted to be on the cover with a guitar in some way. We did this whole photoshoot and did these double exposures. When the cover photo was taken, when the guitar slides left and right around my head, we saw it quickly and knew it right away. As it was, it was a little throwback and needed more, so I took it to my friend Scot Bendall from the design house La Boca, who has done a bunch of my covers in the past. I asked for some type around it, and they came back quickly with this cut-out idea of the photo with lettering on top. They’ll always show me 10 options, and each is incredible and really hard to choose from, and each one is improved upon a week later, and it keeps going until one stands out. 

SILY: How long have you been playing the various instruments you play on this record?

DL: There’s been one or two samples of me playing instruments on songs in the past that I treat as more like found sound. This is more deliberate playing. Bass and guitar, I started when I was around 11 or 12. Piano, here and there. During the pandemic, I went back to my dad’s house and raided his basement where I have a bunch of my instruments. Once I built this studio, I wanted to get stuff I had in storage in his house. I brought back three basses, and electric guitar, and a full speaker stack. I had my piano already that I’ve been paying on installments. I just started playing these instruments every single day. My callouses came back. Muscle memory is incredible--I hadn’t played guitar in years but I was fine doing all these scales and things I was doing back when I was playing as a kid. The callouses are subcutaneous again, and I feel legit. I feel more comfortable on a bass than on a synthesizer at this point.

SILY: Anything you’ve been listening to, reading, or watching that’s caught your attention?

DL: I just watched The Bear on Hulu and Nope, which is incredible. My favorite Jordan Peele film so far. Fantastic movie making. The soundtrack is almost this classic Western, Indiana Jones-esque sound, but updated.

I’m not listening to a whole lot of stuff because I’m trying to make a lot of music right now.

SILY: Do you not want to be steered a certain way by outside listening when you’re actively making music?

DL: I’m becoming a bad artist in that I’m loosening my grip in the time I spend creating and becoming more of a consumer. I give this advice to young artists all the time. Turn your phone off, don’t look at Twitter when you’re making music. Only have your software open. I’m not listening to that advice anymore, maybe because I’m in this moment where I’m releasing this record and have to switch my brain from creative mode to explaining mode. I hope to get back on track in a good rhythm; if I don’t make a song in a while, I start to feel crummy. It starts to affect every aspect of my life. It’s like a steam release valve. I have to prove to myself I can do it. It’s perverse, because clearly, I’ve done it many times, but it doesn’t matter how many times, because if I can’t do it again, I’ve lost it. It’s a little bit like torturing myself.

SILY: Were you always planning on releasing this record on your own label, or did you pitch it to other labels?

DL: I did pitch it to a few and got very far with a couple labels. But if I’m unwilling to tour and do some of the things other labels want you to do--and we didn’t even get that far--I thought I’d upset the folks who’d spend a bunch of money and time and see me only promote it in ways I feel comfortable with. I hope it would be successful on its own, and maybe I was shooting myself in the foot before discovering whether they’d liked it. There’s always a part of me that fantasizes about being signed again to a label. I’ve had good experiences on labels. It’s amazing having a huge team doing a worldwide press push like on my Ninja Tune albums. But I’ve got a great distributor, a good publisher, a friend that helps who is a paid intern, and revolving artists I work with. It’s basically a team. I could use one or two more dedicated people, but I’d have to pay them a salary, and I don’t have that money.

[out-of-heaven-and-hell]

It's been years since I mad an amv ya'll

[starberry-cupcake]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN: CHAPTER 33 PEOPLE, WE'VE MADE IT!!!

previously, on harrowcita del 9:

this was the last recap update

this was my recap of where I left off

this is the post about camilla's reappearance which I can't reproduce in its entirety in this post but I suggest you look at

CHAPTER 33:

harrowcita is hanging out in a nice planet that sounds very pleasant

we've been so long in the emperor's bolthole and canaan house that this feels like heaven, actually

let's build a cottage and live here forever maybe

even better, as previously established, camilla is here

there's nature, there's little bugs, there's camilla, what else do we need???

maybe gideon would be nice

camilla shows up like "hey, loser, I need you to do me a solid" and pulls out palmolive's reconstructed skull

harrow is like ???????????????????????????

and here's where things get complicated for that 3D model I was building

harrow remembers camilla and palmolive dying the way they died in the gideon-less au

like, shot in the face repeatedly

her memory of them is the memory of the gideon-less au: not knowing them much, not remembering their faces much, seeing them shot to death by a slasher villain

and I'm like...huh????????????????????

because, as previously established (5 months ago), in the gideon-less au, dulcinea isn't not!dulcinea

she's real!dulcinea and protozoa is alive

he's reciting poetry and ortus doesn't like him coming for his gig

however, harrow does remember not!dulcinea being a threat and yandere twin has repeatedly talked about how she took off her arm and all that

so...which is it????

camilla is like "look, I don't care about your lack of memory or the fact that you're currently bleeding out of every perceivable orifice in your head, I got a job for you"

harrow is, as usual, skeptical of everything, especially of camilla being real, because 1) they're like in the orbit of the emperor's supposedly top secret bolthole, 2) camilla was supposed to be dead and 3) she's too perfect to exist

well, that last one was mine, but still

and harrowcita is dealing with this thing in which she can't trust her mind because, for all intents and purposes, she has an emotional support apparition trailing her

so harrow starts attacking camilla to try to figure out if she's real and camilla is slaying all her constructs because she's that bitch

so harrow accepts to listen and then camilla gives her palmolive's skull that's all glued back together with a lot of care, love and patience

camilla says they planned stuff in case he died (Sixth house winning points with me every single day, they came PREPARED, not like you SECOND HOUSE, YOU JUDGMENTAL ASSHATS)

in case palmolive kicked the bucket, he'd tether his soul or energy or whatever incorporeal thing that makes him himself to his remains

his remains blew to bits though

sometimes it doesn't matter how much you plan, things just blow up and explode in a million pieces

like my plans of reading this book in less time

so camilla found some palmolive scraps and put them together but if whatever bit of him he's tethered to isn't there, she has to go back and look for more bits

basically, camilla needs harrow to tell her if palmolive's force ghost is in the collected bits

harrow is both bleeding from every orifice and also very confused with everything that is happening

those are the two things she's been consistently experiencing all book long

but she's harrowcita nonagesimus and she's no quitter so in she goes to the river to see if indeed palmolive sextus has managed to cheat death, so to speak

she's expecting to have to do this

but she finds herself here

there's a nice little room with a cushion-y bed, some books, a window, a chair, etc

and there's also my reluctant bestie palmolive (I'm growing attached to him against my initial intentions)

palmolive hugs harrow and harrow is even more confused than before because affection????? care???? in this economy?????

so my reluctant bestie palmolive was able to create a sort of bubble in the shores of the metaphorical ghostly river

he created a space in the nothing, so to speak, a space in which he can remain without being pulled away from the same spot

he tethered himself in a cellular level in a spiderweb-like form to his pieces and was able to craft an unmoving reproduction of the place where he died, with what he could see at that time

that includes one romance book he's in the midst of writing fanfiction of

as one would

palmolive is also very upset at harrow taking approximately 8 months to get to him

harrow is like ?????????

palmolive goes "how did you get separated from cam?"

harrow is like ???????????????????????????

and when harrow starts with the lyctor spiel...

(is anyone impressed by that? ever? the emperor is a clown)

...palmolive says "tell me you did it correctly"

harrow tells him she slurped her cav

which we all know might not be entirely true because 1) harrow thinks ortus was his cav (brother in being blown to bits to palmolive) and 2) she's lyctor lite

but palmolive doesn't know this

he's very disappointed in god, and aren't we all

palm, my reluctant bestie, if you knew the guy you'd be even more disappointed

BUT THERE'S NO TIME FOR ANY OF THAT BECAUSE THERE'S SOMEONE AT THE WINDOW JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN

IT'S THE SLEEPER/WAKER/SLASHER

palmolive thinks harrow brought him there but he doesn't know who tf it is because he's the real palmolive and not the gideon-less au palmolive

the slasher villain is trying to get at them

if harrow leaves palm's apartment, the waker/sleeper/slasher will leave too, according to him

he kisses harrow's brow and drops a funny one-liner, as he does, because he's a nerd

harrow reluctantly leaves and shows up in a dark corridor

but it's not a corridor and it isn't dark

and most shocking of all

THERE'S A "ME"

THERE'S A NARRATOR

"you never could have guessed that he had seen me"

WHO'S ME?????? WHO IS NARRATING????

and that's it for chapter 33, I'm glad I stopped halfway 5 months ago because idk if I would have been able to do what I did if I had read until the end

happy halloween fam! I'll post my costume later but it isn't locked tomb related although maybe next year???

[lefaystrent]

One random day, Patton declares he is going on vacation. He will be leaving the mindscape for awhile, and it's up to the rest of the gang to hold down the fort while he's gone.

"You're Thomas's sense of Morality; you can't just go on vacation," Logan points out.

Patton's grin goes a little too wide, his eyes a little too intense. "Watch me."

Remus bobs his head up and down to check him out. "Since when do you do the ominous thing? I thought that was my thing. Are we playing around with each other's thingies?"

"No–thing wrong with switching things up now and then," Patton says cheerfully.

Virgil squints. "Are you Deceit in disguise?"

"I am sitting right next to you, Virgil," Janus points out. "Also, I wouldn't be caught dead in a floral print."

"Are you going to Hawaii? Without me?!" Roman demands, eyeing Patton's– well, Hawaiian shirt he's donned on rather than his usual polo.

"Now, now Roman, this is nothing personal kiddo. I'm just taking some much needed me-time. So I'll need to take this journey alone."

"Oh thank God," Janus mutters while Logan blinks rapidly, flabbergasted. Logan spits out, "We are all personified pieces of one man's personality. By the nature of our existence, you can't be alone."

"That's quitter talk," Remus butts in. He literally turns and shows them his butt for some reason, though thankfully with pants still on. "Want me to yeet you out the door, Daddy-o? See how far you can go? Or maybe load you into a ballista and send you hurtling to a beautiful bludgeoning death?"

"No thanks, bud," Patton says far too good-naturedly. "Our dear lord in Heaven gave me two perfectly good legs to walk with. I think I'll be fine."

"You're serious? Just– what, gonna walk out the door?" Virgil questions sharply. Skeptical he may be, he seems somewhat interested in seeing how far Patton will take this bit.

"Absolutely! There's a whole big wide world out there! So much to do! So much to see!"

"So what's wrong with taking the back steets," both Remus and Roman sing at the same time.

"You guys will be fine for a while without me. But just in case you miss me, I have provided each of you with your very own Patton Pal."

They each look down into their hands where a small, stuffed version of Patton materializes. It has stitched in glasses, a removable Cardigan, and its mouth is in the shape of a heart.

"What," they all respond collectively.

"If you feel lonely or need a hug, you just give your Patton Pal there a good ole squeeze! That should tide you over until I get back. Anyways, I'm gonna skeddadle now. Bye! Love you!"

And Patton walks out the front door.

Dad has left the building.

Roman ponders with pursed lips, "Sooo, did we just get abandoned?"

"Nah, I'm sure he's just gone out to pick up some milk."

"Thank you, Remus."

Virgil rises up from the couch and strides over to the door in a huff. "Alright Pat, you can come out now."

The door swings open. A brick wall is revealed where there once was not one.

"Uhhh, guys?" Virgil asks the group, stepping back. Unconsciously, he grips his Patton Pal a little tighter.

"What in the Chris Angel Mindfreak?" Remus questions and taps at the brick. His nail makes a scraping sound along the mortar. Curious, he examines his finger and licks it.

"Did he trap us in the Mindscape?" Roman asks, squeezing in between his brother to test the solidity of the wall. It is indeed a wall.

"Is this his villain origin story?"

Janus rolls his eyes at the twins. "Patton's just serious for a change, that's all. He doesn't want to be followed, and obviously he must be out hanging with Thomas. Really now, have some sense."

"You do know who you're talking to, right?" Virgil asks him waving at the twins, to which Janus gives a saucy, "Touche."

Logan sighs and begins ascending the stairs.

"What, you're just gonna leave too?" Virgil calls after him.

"I have work to do, as I'm sure the rest of you do. Patton will return once he tires of this stunt."

Logan is gone and now it's just the four of them.

"Someone's salty about being abandoned," Roman comments too loudly.

"FALSEHOOD!"

"Alllll byyyyy myseeeelffff," Remus sings off-key.

Virgil debates whether to follow Logan up or try a window next. He stares down into the beady, button eyes of his Patton Pal doll.

"Need a hug?" Janus asks him teasingly, watching him.

Virgil scoffs and shoves the plush into his hoodie pocket. It's bulky, but it fits.

Will it stay there?

Will Patton ever return?

Will the sides use this time to overcome their differences and bond as a true family?

Find out next time on "Episodes From The Mindscape"!

The screen flicks off.

[themorriganwitch]

Jake Seresin NSFW Alphabet

18+ below minors do not interact

Aftercare (What they are like after sex): Listen, he was a fuckboy until he met you. So, there was barely anything post sex except for a short peck on the lips before he left and spend the night curled up in his own bed. When the two of you started dating, he was mighty overchallenged with you pouting at him, cause he did not wrap you up into his strong arms immediately after he pulled out. It took him a little while to fully let loose and be intimate with you besides sex, but after a serious conversation where you both honestly talked about your needs, wants and concerns, he tried his best to fully satisfy you. 

Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s):  On himself definitely his upper body. He spends a lot of time in the gym and takes a lot of pride in his looks. But no matter how much he loves his body himself, he loves it even more when he sees you watching him at the beach or at the gym, eyes ranking over his body while you absently bite your lower lip. Jake teases you enormous for it, but secretly he loves it. 

On you he has a thing for your ass, your boobs, and your eyes. Your ass because he is big on physical touch and always needs to have a hand on you, preferably on your nice ass no matter if its thick and juicy or small and cute. Your eyes cause it’s what caught him first when you looked at him all those years ago on a Friday night at the hard deck. Your boobs because there is nothing better for him then laying on top of you after a particular stressful day at work and burry his face in your boobs while you play with his hair. 

Cum (Anything to do with cum): He is not as messy as Rooster is, like he would not feel the need to mark you up with his cum. He either likes it clean inside of a condom, or if you are on the pill, he is obsessed with cumming inside of you. Also highly believes that spitters are quitters. 

Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs): Hangman has two. 

It took him ages to open up about this to you, but as soon as he did, he felt an instant relief. Jake just can’t stand the thought someone could find out that the cocky, handsome aviator has a thing for sucking your nipples. He doesn’t know why he likes it so much, and he honestly does not want to find out but something about it is incredibly comforting and calming for him. 

He has not told anyone yet but sometimes he fantasizes to be watched by someone else while he fucks you senseless. And if he says someone, he means Rooster, because he would love to see the jealousy in Bradley’s brown eyes while he slowly thrusts into you and makes you feel oh so good, letting his wingman know that he will never be able to satisfy someone as good as Jake Seresin can. (The One Shot to this Headcanon can be read here)

Experience (How experienced are they?): It’s Jake Seresin we are talking about. He has been around the block. Probably five times. But I would say that he is not that experienced when it comes to real connections and intimacy, being vulnerable is something he needs to learn with you. 

Favorite Position (pretty self explanatory)

 Everything where he can see your face. 

Mirror Sex:  Ride him in reverse cowgirl position while the two of you look at each other in the mirror – pure heaven.

Missionary: He is obsessed with seeing all those expressions on your face. How your eyes roll in the back of your head when he hits that spot inside your velvet walls or how your pretty mouth forms a silent O whenever you shatter around him and squeeze him just right. 

Doggy Style: On the rare occasions when he does not need to see your face as much as he needs to fuck you deep into the mattress, doggy style is his go to. He has a perfect grip on your hips and he can spank your ass occasionally while he hears your whimper beneath him. 

Goofy (Are they rather serious oder humorous in the moment?): The most you will ever get out of him is small smile when you try to crack a joke to lighten the mood, even though you should know better. When it comes to Sex your man is on a mission and nothing else. He will do everything to satisfy you in every way possible and that’s why he is determined to stay serious. 

Hair (How well groomed are they?): He is completely shaved in down under. Jake just prefers this look for himself, cause it fits his pretty boy aesthetic. For you he would also prefer you to be hairless, but he would never pressure you into a certain way how to treat your body. As long as you’re a happy and confident within yourself, he is a happy guy. 

Intimacy (How are they during the moment?): He had plenty of Sex without ever feeling really intimate with someone. He spends all his time to build his career and never really saw a need to get emotional close to someone. Until he met you. After he experienced loving sex for the first time in his life, he got absolutely addicted. I highly doubt he could ever go back to his fuckboy years, after he experienced real emotional closeness and intimacy with you.

Jack off (pretty self explanatory): He prefers the real deal, but he is not above it. Sometimes he is deployed, or you are simply not in the mood for sex, so he would jack off. 

Kink (some kinks of theirs): Hangman has several kinks (copied from my Dagger Squad Kink Headcanons)

Breeding kink – that man wants to see your belly round and your tits swollen. Could be the southern boy from a huge family in him or just him in general. No matter what – that man wants to see you pregnant with his child. 

Cockwarming – Jake being the touchiest human on planet earth loves nothing more that feeling your walls hugging him perfectly close, especially after coming right back from a long deployment. 

Edging – He’s a teasing piece of shit. Nothing gets him more going that hearing you beg for his cock. 

Exhibitionism – slipping his hand between your thighs while sitting at dinner with Rooster and his girlfriend knowing only, he can feel the wet patch on your panties even though you are in a room full of people, that’s probably the best dinner he ever had. 

Brat Taming – Mouth ‘Make me’ at him, after he admonished you several times for you teasing him on a navy ball and will fully loose his shit as soon as you come home. 

He also has a thing for degradation and humiliation

Location (Favorite Place to do the deed): Hangman is pretty open and risky. He has railed you in the bathroom of the hard deck and several clubs already, as well as at the beach and his car. He never would do it on base though or anywhere else where someone of his admirals could see the two of you.

Motivation (What turns them on): Competition. Tell him your Ex-Boyfriend was the best sex you ever had, you will regret this two hours later and won’t be able to walk for the next couple of days. Watch Coyote doing push-ups at the gym for a second to long, he will rail you at home until you won’t be able to spell Coyote correctly.  Tell him after girls’ night how Phoenix rhapsodized about how her boyfriend make her cum three times by giving expertly good head, he will make you call her right after he doubled this sum, so you have to tell her with shaky voice that no one will ever be as good in bed as Jake Seresin is. 

No (Something they would not do): He would never share you with someone else. Hangman likes to think about the idea to be watched while fucking you, but he would never ever let someone else touch you the way only he is allowed to. He is way too possessive for this. 

Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skills): That man is skilled af when it comes to giving head. He knows all the tricks; he spends his time to learn your body language and he has you squirming and shaking beneath him within seconds as soon as he puts his mouth on you. But I would say that he can get quite egoistical when it comes to giving oral. Like he does not do it on purpose but if you don’t remind him from time to time, you will get down on him way more than he goes on you. If you remind him though, he will feel bad enough to spend literally hours between your legs, long enough to beg him to let you go because you are so overstimulated but satisfied. 

When it comes to receiving head, as said before he highly believes spitters are quitters, but he would never be mad at you if you would feel uncomfortable to swallow his cum. 

Pace (pretty self explanatory): He can do slow. He can do passionate. He can do hard. He can do rough. Whatever you need or want it’s yours. 

Quickie (pretty self explanatory): Accepting the challenge to make you cum in a spare amount of time? He is absolutely down. He loves the rush; he loves the intensity, and he loves the risk (if you are doing it at a semipublic place)                                       

Roles (Which role do they take during sex): He mostly is a Mean Dom. Jake just has a major thing for degradation and humiliation. Everything consensual of course. I do see him having sub tendencies, which he slowly explores with you. Being vulnerable is not easy for him, but he trusts you enough to let you know this side of him.

Stamina (how many rounds are they able to go?): He is fit, he eats very well and takes good care of himself. He definitely can go for as many rounds the both you want until the both of you are left very satisfied. 

Turn off (What turns them off) : Bad hygiene or someone who is overly lazy (as long as these are not consequences of mental health struggles) He spends most of his time either to work on himself or he works his ass off to get a promotion at work. Someone who has no ambitions or does not care about themselves enough to treat them good, is simply a major turn off for him. 

Unfair ( How big of a tease are they?): Biggest tease on planet earth. He will do literally anything to see you all flustered, cheeks slightly red and eyes wide in disbelief. No matter if he would send you dirty texts with some nice Ab pics while you are out for brunch with your friends or if he fingers you beneath the desk while out for lunch with the dagger squad but pulls out his fingers right before you come – he will always find a way to get you hot and needy for him. And he will tease the living shit out of you for it. 

Volume (How loud/vocal are they): He is big on praise. He loves to tell you who good you take him and what a good little slut you are for him. Besides this he loves to hear you beg. This man will literally have you beg for everything. You want his cock all down your throat? You better ask nicely. You want to cum on his fingers? You better go on your knees with doll eyes and beg.

Wild Card (their wild card): He is extremely competitive, which also shows in his Sex life. You probably never had a more intense orgasm than the day, you spend with Jake, Bradley, and his girlfriend in a cabin in the woods. Even though you and Jake already finished and were all cuddled up, slowly drifting into sleep – the moment he heard Rooster railing his girlfriend in the room next to yours his competitive side was awaken and it did not take him more than 5 minutes to get you all worked up and thrusting into you so deeply that you could not help yourself but to scream his name.  No need to say the smirk he wore the next day at breakfast table, because he pulled three more orgasms out of you while Bradley made his girlfriend only come twice, annoyed the hell out of everyone but Jake. 

X-Ray: (What's going on in those pants?): He is about average length, but he is deliciously thick with a prominent vein on the bottom side of his cock. His tip has a pretty pink tone. 

Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): High. Extremely High. If he can get his hands on you – he will. Whenever and wherever you let him, just sign him that you are in the mood, and he is ready to go.

Zzzzzzz (How fast do they fall asleep after it?): He will always make sure you are being taken care of after sex. After the two of you had your conversation about what you want and crave after Sex, he will always make sure you get what you need. No matter how stressful his day was, he will wait until your head meets the pillow and he hears your sweet snores until he falls asleep himself. 

[stevehairingtit]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you @geddyqueer for the tag~

1. How many works do you have an AO3? 24

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 72,539, which kind of makes me want to go add a word to something

3. What fandoms do you write for? Primarily Stranger Things, though I have some 911 stuff both published and planned

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Come and Turn the Tide (My "Achy Breaky Heart." My "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles).")

Temperature Running High

A Kind of Magic (My lone Shadowhunters semi-hit)

Living Tissue, Warm Flesh

Slide It In

5. Do you respond to comments? Sometimes with significant delay, but yes

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? If we are just looking at the individual fic, I wrote a couple of episode codas during the Malec break-up in Shadowhunters that were fairly bleak. But I've never really written angst that isn't resolved by a follow-up fic or by the source material. I'm delicate. Ending author's notes don't count.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? They are mostly pretty mushy! Can take your pick.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Nope

9. Do you write smut? Yeah, it's probably my primary vocation lmao. Though a pretty recent one! I had only written it twice ever before I started writing steddie.

10. Do you write crossovers? No, and I feel like this is not as common as it was when, like, LJ and ff dot net were the primary fandom sites.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I am aware of...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope

14. What's your all time favorite ship? Stucky........

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? lmao. I'm a quitter, so anything I start and don't finish in a sitting is at risk for this. My white whale, gogoboysteve, is the most fleshed out of my WIPs that I'm not sure I'll ever get all the way through.

16. What are your writing strengths? I am very funny. This is obviously good for comedy writing, which is my wheelhouse, but I think more dramatic writing is still set-up and punchline, even if the punchline isn't played for laughs.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? You know how pointing out your insecurities draws attention to them? I started listing stuff, decided that I don't want you noticing my eyebrows are more cousins than twins, and deleted it. I will say I think I am something of a one trick pony and comedy is also a bit of a crutch for me and nvm, Kam reblogged a post about finding your form as a writer, and I am not a one trick pony, I have just been called to write silly porn. My weaknesses are varied sentence structure and physical description.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I haven't done it, but I think it is fine as long as you are not using a translation software to do so.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Maximum Ride

20. Favorite fics you've written? I've said it before, but right now Path to the Rainbow's End because I finished it lmao. And I like the end product! The Floor of Heaven's Lain is also a favorite, I think the structure is fun and interesting, and I could read it immediately after I wrote it without picking it to pieces.

Tagging @postmodernau @cuips-not-cute @jamiethegardener55 @mustlovesteve

[eyestoheaven-rpg]

Sur Nos Cendres se réinvente pour devenir Eyes to Heaven. Plutôt city sombre aux mille possibilités que forum gangs, le contexte lui aussi se réinvente légèrement pour accueillir chacune de vos idées, qu'elle soit plus light ou sombre. Le forum se base sur le destin mais aussi sur les rêves, trop de fois abandonnés. Vous trouverez le lien du discord plus bas si vous souhaitez nous rejoindre ! Sur ce dernier, vous pouvez d'ores et déjà réserver un avatar, parler de vos idées.

Entre les murs couleur rouge d’une ville qui n’ose plus fermer les paupières, rêves aux pouvoirs mystiques, sont encore capables de glisser brin d’espoir dans ruelles assombris de la douce Birmingham. Ils ont tant rêvé, un peu trop sans doute, avant de devenir prisonniers du néant, de ce vide qui n’appartient qu’à ceux qui ne songent plus. Adieu les rêves décimés, adieu l’envie fugace de construire quelque chose sur la durée. Alors que certains naissent sous une bonne étoile, d'autres luttent pour chaque once de chance qui pourrait changer le cours misérable existence. Le destin comme force implacable se joue des béats, trône de fer sur ces âmes égarées, presque piégées, entre ses bras, ils ne partiront pas. On ne quitte plus Birmingham, on y meurt, on y renaît, mais on y reste à jamais, marqués par l’emprise. Poignée de gamin s’épuisent à courir après ce soupçon d’adrénaline, cherchant à défier leur destinée en quête de ces fragments éperdus. D’autres l'acceptent avec triste résignation. Chanceux ou malchanceux, chacun est maître de son dessein aux mille enjeux. Mécréants, avares, insipides, le dessein n’est plus en leur faveur, il suffit de leur porter un regard : se meurent déjà les espoirs avant même de quitter les caboches. Ils ne peuvent échapper à ce qui leur est prédestiné, pas sans brin de chance, porteur d’un espoir mort-né. Pourtant, phénix renaissent, parent leurs pelages de plumes osées, reconstruisent leurs rêves à la force de quelques larmes. Ainsi s’épuisent les insomnies, les rêves ne sont jamais loin pour ceux qui laissent le sort décider de leurs destins.

[brandyschillace]

It’s 3:30pm, and I’m having a coffee break. So how about some story time regarding one of the most embarrassing moments of my young life… which was revelatory about my character overall, if not exactly formative. it begins on a school bus. The afternoon school bus taking me, 7th grader, home.

Now, the high school and junior high were near one another, and took in students from the wide rural area surrounding. that means junior high kids rode the bus with high school kids. This is important for the story. I should also mention that my friend Tanya was also on this bus. And she had an idea.

The captain of the football team, junior, lived near her house. She had been watching him all her young life, and had developed a very serious pining crush. Now, three or four years, doesn’t make much difference to adults, but to said high school junior, she was a little kid. Hopes dashed. And yet:

When you are 13, hope springs eternal. Beyond that, there is a delicious almost tangible high that comes from being proximately near the beloved. An acknowledgement is heaven. What might help the strapping lad see and acknowledge young Tanya? Because obviously that is all that true love requires… Her brilliant plan: when her crush walks to the front of the bus for his stop, I should ‘accidentally’ bump into him, causing him to fall/sit into Tanya’s seat. (And acknowledge her in some love misted way that apparently worked in the movies she’s seen.) simple. Would I be a friend and so do?

I am also 13. I am not interested in boys. I am not at all sure about this plan. But Tanya knows my weakness. In the hallowed foyer of our school was a magical machine—a VENDING machine. It was new. It was the first one I’d ever seen. (Did I mention it was rural?) And the machine sold brownies. —Fudge-y, terrible, iced brownies with nuts, and I freaking LOVED them, but rarely had a spare 50 cents. Tanya pulls one of these bad boys out of her bag. NOW would I shove the football crush into her seat?

Oh yeah. You bet.

And here is where I begin to learn a thing about me:

1. Will work for food

2. When I commit… I COMMIT. Time is wasting, and bus slows. Here he comes from the back, jansport tossed over one shoulder, books in hand. My moment has come. I’d moved to the opposite seat along the aisle. Tanya gives me a sage nod. DO IT. Hee crush enters optimal shove zone. And I go for it.

Problem. Her crush is a junior. AND captain of the football team. There is no slight bump from a twiggy 13 year old strong enough to be noticed much less effective. The mission should have failed and I should have mumbled an apology.

BUT I DO NOT.

BECAUSE I AIN’T NO QUITTER.

So… Honestly, some of this is sort of a blank. At some point, it seemed using my entire body like a line backer would be the better option. Maybe I was influenced by his football jersey. The rest is like movie scene where all the drama / action suddenly stops and you get a freeze frame in total silence.

When I ‘come to’ as it were… I’m on the floor of the aisle. Sort of. I am straddling a man’s leg and sitting on his foot. I have been shoving (or sort of clawing at?) his rather broad torso. I *may* have been saying SIT! But I hope just in my head, as it’s weird enough. And the boy looks TERRIFIED.

The bus has stopped. Kids are staring. The driver is staring. I can mainly see upward, so take in the full view of a junior footballer holding his bag and books over his head as though I’m a rabid dog. And I can see Tanya. She has gone seven shades of WTF and is trying to disappear into her purse.

Now, there are only so many ways you can extricate yourself from a situation like this one. (Note: it is still totally silent). I scramble backward into the nearest seat, which — yes— means unwrapping myself from his leg. And then I look him full in the eye and say: “oh, excuse me” just as planned.

He says *nothing*. Just very quickly gets off the bus. Now I’m sitting next to Tanya, and the full force of what I just did washes over me so hard that I still feel it. Tanya, now squeezed so low in her seat as to be near invisible: ‘what the hell was THAT?’ I don’t know, so I say ‘you told me to!’

She very much did not tell me to squid attack a footballer. But in principle…

She tells me she will never be able to face him again. I don’t know why, I’m the one he’ll have nightmares about. Some threats about never being my friend again ensue, but ultimately end in exasperation. But—BUT:

I did a days work, dammit, I want a days wage. “You still want the stupid brownie??”

The look of surprise mixed with confusion and maybe disgust doesn’t phase me as it ought; she hands over the prize and then gets off the bus. I’m subjected to sniggering. I’m blushing.

But I ATE my brownie.

… I think there are life lessons. At least one is that I am WAY autistic. But hey. I commit. I mean, I WILL do the thing.

[sunflowervoltwentyeight]

Hi! These are my favorite fics that take place in the summer. These fics are organized by word count from longest to shortest. You can view my other fic recs here. Enjoy!

I’ll Fly Away byjuliusschmidt / @juliusschmidt (122k)

Harry and Louis grew up together in Lake County, Harry with his mom and stepdad in a tiny cottage on Edward’s Lake and Louis in his family’s farmhouse a few minutes down the road. But after high school, Louis stuck around and Harry did not; Harry went to Chicago where he found a boyfriend and couple of college degrees. Six years later, Harry ends up back in Edwardsville for the summer and he and Louis fall into old patterns and discover new ones.

ft. One Direction, the local boyband; Horan’s Bar and Grill; families, most especially children and babies; Officer Liam Payne; many local festivals and fireworks displays; and Anne Cox, PFLAG President.

Jump Before We Fall by green_feelings / @greenfeelings (113k)

Louis and Zayn's lives revolve around running a hotel by the sea, Harry is a student who wants a life far from home for just a little while, Niall doesn't know where life leads him and Liam thinks he has already found all purposes in his life.

Speaking of Marvels by navigator, quitter (100k)

AU. Louis is a nanny in suburban New Jersey, and the neighbors' son is home from college for the summer. It was supposed to be a fling.

Somewhere In Between Lightning by jassy117 nauticalleeds shiningdistractionwrites / @nauticalleeds @shiningdistraction (99k)

As Louis took another bite, he thought back to how he had once believed that the hardest thing about being on Love Island would be Liam handling his social media.  He had been wrong. It was Harry Styles, peeking over at Louis as he forked a pancake into his mouth, and gauging his reaction. It was having to quench the swelling of his heart, which felt simultaneously like hope and the breaking of a thousand pieces.

---

A summer gone wrong (or very right) when, under Liam’s persuasion, Louis finds himself drunkenly applying for Love Island, and getting accepted. Oh, well. A summer spent on an island paradise couldn’t be all that bad, right?

Imagine his surprise when Louis arrives in sunny Majorca to find that his first love and ex-boyfriend, Harry, is another contestant, about to capture the hearts of everyone in the villa. Most normal people don’t have to face their ex on an otherwise straight TV show. Most normal people don’t fall for their ex again in front of the whole nation, either. Too bad this whole situation isn’t normal.

Sun Means The Sky’ll Be Blue by pearlydewdrops / @moonhusbands (91k)

As the only singleton under thirty attending his cousin’s five-day wedding, Harry is desperate to find a date, or at least a reason to get people’s questions about his love life off his back. So when Louis, Harry’s old uni roommate and fellow wedding attendee waltzes back into his life, Harry seizes the opportunity, pretending Louis is his ex-boyfriend and that it’s a sore subject not to be mentioned.

If it’s a little bit closer to the truth than Harry would like, well, he’s a master at living in denial.

So cue a mess of trudged-up feelings, past misunderstandings, a rekindled summer romance and a whole lot of sexually-charged bickering.

You Come Beating Like Moth's Wings by supernope (81k)

Harry smiles. He's only known Louis for about two hours, knows nothing about him past his first name, but he's nice and sarcastic and helpful and so, so pretty. And Harry's still got a few days left in Barcelona, and he thinks he wouldn't mind spending them with Louis.

Also known as, Harry takes the summer before uni to travel Europe and meets Louis in Barcelona, and they end up traveling together.

Summer’s In the Air and Baby, Heaven’s In Your Eyesby starryhaze / @starryhaze28 (71k)

“So we probably shouldn’t do this.” Louis says, and Harry knows he means staying like this, wrapped up in each other, and he nods, then lifts his head from Louis’ shoulder. His eyes are focused on the ground while he tries to will the tears away.

“We shouldn’t. I’m sorry Lou it’s just-“

“Hey it’s fine, baby.” Louis promises, gently rubbing this thumb over Harry’s cheek. Harry leans into the touch and blinks up at Louis.

“Not your fault.” Louis says, looking around before he presses his lips against Harry’s in a short but sweet kiss. “You’re like my dirty little secret now.” He grins wickedly and gives a wink, making Harry blush and bite his lip as he steps away.

⋆ .ೃ ࿔ *: ･

or a 70s tennis au filled with skirts, pet names and intrigue

Adore You by isthatyoularry / @isthatyoularry (66k)

“We invited our new acquaintances from uptown. You’ve simply got to meet their oldest son!” said his mother with a flourish, and suddenly it became abundantly clear as to why his parents had so adamantly demanded he join them in Deansville for the entirety of the summer.

Against his wishes, Harry spends the holidays at his family’s summer estate, and is reluctantly pulled into a courtship he didn’t ask for. Harry doesn’t want to get married, but Louis does. They don’t fit, but then again they really, really do.

Vaguely set in the 1920’s. Headpieces, jazz, fashionable canes, and flapper dresses, and that.

Your Memory Over Me by shimmeringevil / @shimmeringevil (64k)

Three years have passed since Louis last saw him, but all it took was a few minutes in Harry’s presence for him to be relegated to the desperate twenty-one year old that was practically begging his boyfriend for an ounce of reassurance that he still cared about him.

Harry shouldn’t be here. He’s brought too many unresolved feelings with him, that Louis thought he’d never have to face.

It’s Harry’s apparent apathy that’s the most difficult to come to terms with. Anger, he could handle. Regret, he would welcome. But Harry’s amiability, and carefree demeanor can only be born from indifference.

He’s moved on. He doesn’t care. And that is something Louis doesn’t think he’ll ever be strong enough to face.

-

OR - The worst heartbreak of Louis’ life walks right back into it when his parents invite their family friends on an all-expenses-paid trip for their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Facing a past that he tried to bury long ago, Louis learns that some people have a way of sticking with you even when they’re gone.

I’ll Crash Until You Notice Me by stylinsoncity / @aliensingucci (61k)

Louis sets off to Barbados to oversee the massive resort his family owns known as Sandy Hill. For years, he’s been looking for a change in the monotony of his life, seeking adventure and perhaps love too. What he doesn’t expect is the bright eyed boy who spills a milkshake on his shoes.

Cue the summer loving.

Where the Tide Takes You, I Will Follow by pinkcords / @pinkcords (53k)

There’s no way around his departure, their inevitable fate. Harry will leave and he will return to London and when he sits in his new flat, wherever it might be, he will think of this summer and the warmth the sun brought him and the way it felt to be loved. He will compare all his future relationships to Louis and when they fall short, he will be disappointed. Harry knows this.

Or, Louis lives in Gloucester and Harry tries to find a way to stay.

The Boys of Summer by afirethatcannotdie / @afirethatcannotdie (45k)

“I mean…we’re gonna have to sneak around anyway, yeah? Like, with that whole rules thing that I guess we’ve decided to ignore. Might make it a little more fun this way.”

AU. In which Louis is a reluctant sports coach, Harry’s a fellow counselor who wears tiny yellow shorts, and camp rules say they’re forbidden to date.

Suddenly Last Summer by disgruntledkittenface / @disgruntledkittenface (44k)

Louis is bored, rich and lonely. He has no reason to expect that this summer in the Hamptons with his friends will be different from any other – until he meets Harry. Suddenly he has someone who listens to him and cares about what he thinks. Someone who really sees him. But their happily ever after is forever marred by an incident at a party during Labor Day weekend, and Louis is left with a choice to make.

Some Clear Jellyfish Don't Sting by gloria_andrews / @gloriaandrews (32k)

Louis Tomlinson is starting grad school in New York City in the fall and when his best friend Niall Horan finds out, he invites Louis to spend the summer with him on the end of Long Island, at the house of their childhood friend, Harry Styles. Louis hasn't seen Harry in years, not since he was sixteen and Harry was fourteen and Harry had a somewhat massive crush on him. What will happen when they meet again? Will the tables be turned????

Our Little Corner of the World by brownheadedstranger (29k)

AU. Louis is stuck in his mom’s diner for the summer. Harry is the line cook with a pickup truck.

Naked & Proud by kiwikero (18k)

The town itself is tiny, as evidenced by the ten minutes it’s taken Louis to drive the entire thing. There’s not a single recognisable brand in sight—no Tesco or McDonald’s or even a bloody Starbucks. Lining the streets instead are mom and pop stores with names like ‘Jerry’s Burgers’ and ‘The Market Basket’ and…

“'Naked & Proud?'” Louis almost slams on the brakes at the outlandish sign, the name written in a seemingly innocent font, words curved around a large cartoon peach. He can’t help turning into the carpark, easing the car into a spot next to a beat up truck.

He isn’t sure what to make of it. Surely it isn’t a strip joint or sex shop, not with the families and little old ladies going in and out of the establishment. Some kind of nudist hangout, perhaps?

And, oh, God. Did Louis’ mother accidentally send him to live in a nudist colony?

In which Harry runs an organic store, not a nudist colony, and Louis doesn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

We Were Made to Love by supernope (16k)

“Everything all sorted? Need help with the buckles? I know they’re a bit tricky in this compartment.”

The voice startles Louis out of his daze, and he turns toward the voice to let him know he figured it out. When he catches sight of the owner of the voice, though, his response dies in his throat. Whatever he had imagined the conductor of a children’s train that rides around the shopping centre in Leeds would look like, this is certainly not it.

Leaning through the window, arms folded across the sill, is a green-eyed angel with cherry red lips stretched wide in a smile and dimples flirting in his cheeks. A black conductor’s hat is the only confirmation that this is not some gorgeous stranger who’s come to flirt with Louis through the window of a children’s train, but is just a man doing his job.

[or, Harry drives a kiddie train in the shopping centre for the summer and is obsessed with babies, and Louis never stood a chance.]

[snakebites-and-ink]

Seven Songs of Suffering Day 6: I Can't Decide

Event info - All prompts - Event masterpost

The song for the sixth day of the event (Sep 13) is "I Can't Decide" by Scissor Sisters.

Don't forget to tag your work with #sevensongsofsuffering2024

Contains: Swearing, sex mention, threats, dark

Youtube:

Spotify:

Lyrics:

It's not easy having yourself a good time Greasing up those bets and betters Watching out they don't four-letter Fuck and kiss you both at the same time Smells like something I've forgotten Curled up died and now it's rotten

I'm not a gangster tonight Don't wanna be a bad guy I'm just a loner baby And now you've gotten in my way

I can't decide Whether you should live or die Oh, you'll probably go to heaven Please don't hang your head and cry No wonder why My heart feels dead inside It's cold and hard and petrified Lock the doors and close the blinds We're going for a ride

It's a bitch convincing people to like you If I stop now call me a quitter If lies were cats you'd be a litter Pleasing everyone isn't like you Dancing jigs until I'm crippled Slug ten drinks I won't get pickled

I've got to hand it to you You've played by all the same rules It takes the truth to fool me And now you've made me angry

I can't decide Whether you should live or die Oh, you'll probably go to heaven Please don't hang your head and cry No wonder why My heart feels dead inside It's cold and hard and petrified Lock the doors and close the blinds We're going for a ride

Oh, I could throw you in the lake Or feed you poisoned birthday cake I won't deny I'm gonna miss you when you're gone Oh, I could bury you alive But you might crawl out with a knife And kill me when I'm sleeping That's why

I can't decide Whether you should live or die Oh, you'll probably go to heaven Please don't hang your head and cry No wonder why My heart feels dead inside It's cold and hard and petrified Lock the doors and close the blinds We're going for a ride

[tomb-the-god]

[SMELLS LIKE SOMETHING I'VE FORGOTTEN

CURLED UP DIED AND NOW IT'S ROTTEN

I'M NOT A GANGSTER TONIGHT

DON'T WANNA BE A BAD GUY

I'M JUST A LONER BABY

AND NOW YOU'VE GOTTEN IN MY WAY

I CAN'T DECIDE

WHETHER YOU SHOULD LIVE OR DIE

OH, YOU'LL PROBABLY GO TO HEAVEN

PLEASE DON'T HANG YOUR HEAD AND CRY

NO WONDER WHY

MY HEART FEELS DEAD INSIDE

IT'S COLD AND HARD AND PETRIFIED

LOCK THE DOORS AND CLOSE THE BLINDS

WE'RE GOING FOR A RIDE]

"ITS A"

"BITCH CONVINCING PEOPLE TO LIKE YOU!!"

"DONT STOP NOW CALL ME A QUITTER, LIES WERE CATS YOU'D BE A LITTER!!"

"PLEASING EVERYONE ISN'T LIKE YOUUUU"

"DANCING JIGSS UNTIL IM CRIPPLED"

"SLUG TEN DRINKS I EONT GET PICKLED!!"

[0th3rw0rldl1n3ss]

I can’t decide whether you should live or die

WIP lawlight edit (song credit: I Can’t Decide by Scissor Sisters)

NO REPOSTS WITHOUT CREDIT

Lyrics:

It's a bitch convincing people to like you

If I stop now call me a quitter

If lies were cats you'd be a litter

Pleasing everyone isn't like you

Dancing jigs until I'm crippled

Slug ten drinks I won't get pickled

I've got to hand it to you

You've played by all the same rules

It takes the truth to fool me

And now you've made me angry

I can't decide

Whether you should live or die

Oh, you'll probably go to heaven

Please don't hang your head and cry

No wonder why

My heart feels dead inside

It's cold and hard and petrified

I’m super out of practice at edits but I thought this song was too perfect for them and I wanted to try something! I wish I could do an animatic but I do not have the patience or executive functioning rn, anyway I’m hoping to generally add more to this and extend it to the last verse and chorus later maybe?

[luimagines]

I was debating on putting this here or not, but I want to ramble about kid! chain and the post prob isn't coming out til like May.

I feel like since we have Ocarina of Time you pretty much already know what time was like as a kid, so I'm just gonna restate it. He is a kid with a good heart that really wants to help and fit in with the other kokiri. I don't know if it's canon that he got bullied for his nose (I'm guessing it's just a pop hc bc of the fucking size in game), but he's prob pretty sensitive about it once he gets old enough to understand insecurity, which breaks my heart, I just want to give that poor kid a smooch and tell him that he's perfect the way he issss. He was also raised by the kokiri so he's a little snot at heart, you are not immune to pranks unfortunately. He always starts giggling when he knows he's got you so you always know it's him, but as he gets older his poker face gets better. He's lucky he's cute.

Twilight like his predecessor has a heart full of gold. He loves helping out other people and feeling important! Especially protecting younger kids like Colin. I bet he would help Russel around the rancho, even if he was too small to really do much of anything, he could feed the cucoos at least (he got attacked by one when he accidentally swung the feed bucket a bit too close. I'm a mix in-between Russel having to haul him out of the coop and Twi hauling ass outta there. Twilight's not a quitter though so he's was prob back at it like 2 weeks later, now with ✨adult supervision✨. Adult Twi is still afraid of them tho). Just imagine! Little guy Twi! With an adorable little country accent!!

Warriors is the kid with a hyper fixation. He is the kid that will absolutely ramble to you about his favorite dinosaur and how inaccurate certain movies are. He will play pretend knights, he will get a bunch of scrapes, he will brush them off. I imagine that his dad if he had parents would also be a knight in the kingdom (like Four's and legend's), that's why he became a knight in the first place, he wanted to make his dad proud and you can bet that little warriors would sing his praises to high heaven. I feel like if wars thought you were cool he'd be more of a 'hey watch what I can do' kinda kid, you better clap and praise that baby like he just raised mount lanayru I Don't care how unimpressive his trick was.

Wild!! My beloved! Wild is difficult bc of the whole 'I was a completely different person before I was killed 100 years ago' thing so I'm just gonna ignore it and base it off of current Wild. Wild lives up to his name quite a bit. This is the bitch that ate bugs. He knows all of the coolest spots, and where exactly to get em too. He would be outside sun up to sundown if he could. He was definitely a handful to his parents because you better believe he put anything and everything in his mouth, just to satisfy his curiosity. Wild has a pretty good ability to climb, so I'd say even regarding canon he climbed trees pretty frequently. I'd bet even more that he swung from the branches, fell, and broke his arm too. I'd say bc of Hyrule's healthcare you can still feel a bump/divit where the break was, if not one of Wild's arm being longer than the other. Despite all of this, he loved helping his family in the kitchen (I also hc Wild's dad being a knight, so it would prob be a mom or grandparent). While I don't think he had a particular favorite parent, he loved learning new recipes with his mom and sister and he also loves tasting the food. The scene coming into my mind is the one scene in the princess and the frog of Tiana making gumbo for the neighborhood. Wild is a kid that cries his soul out, y'know, the ones where they cry and then there's that long pause where they have no more air, before they start back up again. Lastly, If we're doing long-haired Wild, I don't think he liked getting his hair touched by anyone other than his family, and even then some days he's just not feeling it and would run away until nightfall tf is he a werewolf?.

Hyrule I imagine was raised by fairies, so that mf is cheeky. Like I said (and forgot to include with Wild's) this kid bites! And it hurts! I feel like he only bites if he feels that a boundary of his is being crossed (mainly unwanted touches). Despite the feral behavior, he's a really cute kid! It's a mix between the chubby cheeks of being a kid, his fairy nature, and the fact that he's a really sweet kid! I feel like he would be the one to have a lisp bc of a gap in his teeth that just couldn't be fixed. To add into the trend, I think Hyrule is a kid that immediately tries to get comfort when he cries, just buries his face in the great mother's shoulder and boohoos until he falls asleep. He really loves sweets, even as an adult he does now, but if he smelled any on you, you now have a second shadow, and this kid will not look away from where they are being kept. They're like a bartering tool at this point, 'ill give you these sweets if you don't bite me while I do your hair'. By the way, I don't think Hyrule would like having his hair washed very much he wouldn't like the water getting in his eyes, only difference is he's much more vocal about it. If he likes someone though (mainly his family, I don't think Hyrule's Hyrule would have a lot of kids, esp not where he's prob hidden), he loves affection, practicality breathes it 24/7. I introduce you to kid #1 of sleeping in your bed and suddenly you wake up to a pair of tiny feet right in your face, and in a modern au I introduce you to kid #1 of calling his teacher mom

Sky, much like his adult counterpart, is a very quiet and sleepy child. I like the feral!sky hc of the people of Skyloft just...finding him in a loftwings nest one day and decided 'yep, close enough'. The loftwings refused to let anyone near Sky long enough to take him out of the nest, so he just stayed there for like 2 weeks before crawling out himself. Sky has heard this story be told to him so many times he's almost positive he can recite it in his sleep. He and Sun were best friends since childhood, so I imagine that the two were joined at the hip constantly. One was not seen without the other, and it became Sun's job to bring Sky to any important event bc he a) wouldn't remember or b) would sleep in. I think while he would be pretty affectionate (bc I think skyloftians in general were), he would also be perfectly content (and sometimes even prefer) hanging out by himself, though mainly he's just sleeping or hanging out with the loftwings. I also think that it would be a rule in skyloft to watch where you step, bc I think Sky has a pretty nasty habit of falling asleep in the most inconvenient spaces. He's essentially that kid asleep on the coat pile while there's an entire party going on downstairs. To end it off, I think Sky is one of those kids that just oozes snot when they cry. I introduce you to kid #2 of sleeping in your bed and suddenly you wake up to a pair of tiny feet in your face, and kid #2 of calling his teacher mom.

Four was already talked about, but bc I have one last crying hc left, I imagine four bawls like it's his last day, before either falling asleep for 6 hours or getting up and going about with a smile as if he didn't just give his dad/grandfather hell. Short but powerful, just like his stature.

Woah! What's this?! A secret, 3rd member of 'sleeping in your bed and suddenly you wake up to a pair of tiny feet in your face', it's Wind!! Yeah, those first couple of years were not kind to grandma at all, that's why he either sleeps by himself, or later on with Aryll (who I'm tempted to say does the exact same thing). I'm also tempted to say he's a sleep talker; it's mainly nonsensical words, but occasionally you can hear a particularly funny phrase. Wind's grandma writes them down and draws pictures to go with them inspirational quote style. He's a grandma's boy and loves to help her out, even with Aryll. I will hear people out on if they think differently, but for now I'm saying that Wind didn't really like Aryll until Aryll.. y'know..started doing something other than pooping and crying. He didn't hate her by any means, but she was boring, and she made his ears hurt esp when she started teething (he swears on that day that he's never having a baby). Once she started walking and trying to talk, he was there next to her 24/7 trying to get her to say his name. I think that he, like twilight, prides himself on being useful and protecting his family (from what? he couldn't say). He absolutely goes to get that mail, and to clean the dishes, and to get the groceries (though he does need a list, otherwise he will forget something, do worry he'll go back and get it!). I think, also like Twilight (bc I'm not going back and adding it), he's the crier who tries desperately to hide the fact that they're crying, just face completely red from the furious wiping at his tears that refuse to stop and loud sniffling. Finally, he's the type of kid to yell out no matter where they are 'Grandma!!' when he sees her, complete with the waving. He's grown out of it for the most part, but sometimes she looks at him and can still see the little boy with stars in his eyes happy that she's there.

Legend (aka the main reason why I did this entire post) despite the prickly personality now, was a really shy kid. He was the kid that hid behind his parent's/uncle's leg whenever other people were around (I heard that leg had a dad that was a knight, but also the uncle that died, and I simply refuse to do the Google search so y'know what he had both). I also think that he was the kid that hung out by himself picking up cool rocks and reading about magic instead of playing tag and pretend with the others kids (Alexa: play 'kids with autism' by Cupcakke) which worried his Uncle greatly. Y'know what, I'm gonna say this: if your name was Link, you probably really liked helping people from a young age, and legend was no exception. Bitch was an apple farmer before drawing the sword I think, so I imagine he would spent hours every day with his Uncle either picking apples, clipping the trees, or sorting them for sale vs making cider. Like Wild, I think that Legend would sometimes disappear the entire day finding cool areas to explore, only this time his entire meal that day would be the apples he picked from the orchard. Speaking of cool areas, Leg has a massive pile of cool things he found while exploring the forest, sometimes he even gives these 'treasures' to his family to show them that he loves them. I imagine Leg to be the kid that gets the hiccups after crying, as well as a sympathy crier. Finally, I hc leg as a child to be a bit of a sleepwalker, so the house doors needed to be latched at night. One time, he was so convincing his uncle didn't even know he was asleep until leg walked into a wall. Finally, Just like time (once again I refuse to go back), I hc young leg to hear a joke told and then find it so funny he just has to tell it to his family. Only, because he's so young, he either ruins the delivery by laughing at it too much, or completely forgets an important part and stumbled back to include it, killing the joke. You better laugh at his joke 🔫🔫.

eheheh... Kid! Chain is going to come out September at best, my guy ^.^* Sorry for the wait.

I've heard of Time being bullied for his nose but I figured he was bullied by other Kokiri because he was the only kid without a fairy. But yes, I do think that he was a major prankster. There is no escape or mercy for any one. XD

Twilight would also be a bit strong for his age. And I bet being the only one in Ordon with his ears, he would be a bit insecure once he realizes it. Poor thing. Adult supervision with the cuccos though. XD A needed intervention. He's a brave boy he can do it.

Oh my goodness baby Warrior XD If he thinks you're cool, he's going to want all of your attention and approval. It's going to just be an endless cycle of "hey, look!" and then he just gives you the cheesiest smile because he didn't have anything to show you, he just wanted to smile.

Wild would virtually live in the trees by what you're saying. I read a fic where it was him and his dad and the kid was free to do virtually whatever he wanted. I wish I could remember the name of it. It was before the Calamity, told by the dad's point of view. If I find it again, I'll get to you on that because it's very bittersweet.

Oh no, Hyrule XD. Sweet are his ultimate motivation, but I agree with the clinginess of him. I headcanon him as someone who's always touching somebody since it's his #1 love language. Love it.

Sky just appeared one day is a headcanon that never fails to amuse me. XD Sky didn't have his first human interaction until he was like 3. someone had to teach this boy how to be a human at some point.

Four is the kid that makes it seem like the end of the earth if he didn't get what he wanted only be instantly distracted by the next thing and it's all right as rain.

Wind probably didn't like that Aryll was getting all the attention he was used to either. XD But then she said his name or did something cute when she saw him and big brother mode was activated.

I promise to laugh at Legend's joke ^.^* Or maybe his insistent giggles would get me to laugh instead and the joke never gets told. XD

[l3m0ngal5]

Off screen after kidnapping Cody's bully:It's not easy having yourself a good time

Greasing up those bets and betters

Watching out they don't four-letter

Fuck and kiss you both at the same time

Smells like something I've forgotten

Curled up died and now it's rotten

I'm not a gangster tonight

Don't wanna be a bad guy

I'm just a loner baby

And now you've gotten in my way

I can't decide

Whether you should live or die

Oh, you'll probably go to heaven

Please don't hang your head and cry

No wonder why

My heart feels dead inside

It's cold and hard and petrified

Lock the doors and close the blinds

We're going for a ride

It's a bitch convincing people to like you

If I stop now call me a quitter

If lies were cats you'd be a litter

Pleasing everyone isn't like you

Dancing jigs until I'm crippled

Slug ten drinks I won't get pickled

I've got to hand it to you

You've played by all the same rules

It takes the truth to fool me

And now you've made me angry

I can't decide

Whether you should live or die

Oh, you'll probably go to heaven

Please don't hang your head and cry

No wonder why

My heart feels dead inside

It's cold and hard and petrified

Lock the doors and close the blinds

We're going for a ride

Oh, I could throw you in the lake

Or feed you poisoned birthday cake

I won't deny I'm gonna miss you when you're gone

Oh, I could bury you alive

But you might crawl out with a knife

And kill me when I'm sleeping

That's why

I can't decide

Whether you should live or die

Oh, you'll probably go to heaven

Please don't hang your head and cry

No wonder why

My heart feels dead inside

It's cold and hard and petrified

Lock the doors and close the blinds

We're going for a ride

Love this song and Believe that offscreen would tell any do this for his cody

[quilt-cove]

Cliff: Good heavens! What happened to Samuel?!

Murdoch: a bug flew into his mouth but he’s refusing to spit it out

Sam: *on the floor, nearly about to vomit* spitters…are…quitters.

[sleepy-achilles]

I’m literally crying! Poor Leon😭

I wonder how Leon’s gonna fight off Ministry🔥

Leon's Nightmare Part 6- Roses

You know, the normal tw of violence and dead people. I'm sorry I'm shit at tagging but..hey, can't win it all.

More importantly, this info is important, Matthew Gomez looks like Henry Cavil and Valentina Addams looks like Jessica Alba. (Yk Leon's childhood friends. I haven't got face claims for cassies friends but yk..they aren't mentioned here so it doesn't matter. She also has more than Leon. Shock)

------------------------------------------------------------------

Leon opens his eyes at the sudden weight on his hips. "I can't believe all it took was a cowboy pick up line to get me here" drew huffs above him. Leon glances up at the man in his boxers. Leon himself only in his black skinny jeans and a cowboy hat. Leon can't bring himself to say anything as he rubs his hands up and down drews thighs. "God, does that work on everyone? Save a horse, ride a cowboy? With a lil hat tilt?" Drew smiles flicking his hat. Leon smiles. "Only the pretty ones" the words come out of Leon's mouth without hesitation. Drew flushes slightly. "Guess we better see if its worth it then" drew hums popping Leon's trouser button.

Leon tenses. Drew glances at his face, takes in how his eyes have gone from loving and lust to something dark..something scared. "Lee...we don't have to-" "no. I just...you and the whole world have seen the top half of me but..I.. I wear joggers and tights in the ring for a reason" Leon admits quietly. Drew frowns slightly. Yeah Leon wasn't perfect but in drews eyes? That made him perfect. His upper body was littered with scars. Some from wrestling and others, like his face, from gods know were. Leon didn't say, people didn't ask. "Like I said..we can stop. Get a pizza-" "no. No. I just wanted to warn you." Leon states. "Go on." He nods.

As drew works on his jeans, Leon keeps his eyes on drews body. Something is wrong. Something is missing. That small nagging voice isn't here. He runs his hand up the bigger man's stomach. Yeah, drew was bigger, but he was soft. Perfect. Leon? Leon was small, lean, sharp. Sharp. Yeah, he was sharp whilst drew had some softness to him. He finally looks down when a hand touches his inner thigh, directly on a old burn. "Dre-" "Your still beautiful to me." Drew whispers. Leon's eyes widen.

That voice isn't there.

"Somethings wrong" Leon mutters sitting up. "Your still beautiful to me" drew repeats. Leon looks at him confused. "Drew?" He asks. "Your still beautiful to me" drew repeats again.

Leon closes his eyes and when he opens them again, he's not in his body anymore. His eyes widen as he stares at the bed. A younger him wearing a bright smile as a younger drew explains how beautiful he is.

"Im dead"

And with that the room disappears leaving Leon in a black space. "Oh god" he whispers turning around. "But this..this isnt hell" he mutters taking in the darkness. "And if this is heaven the religious lot are going to be very disappointed" Leon adds. "Tell me about it" a voice calls. Leon turns to see a familiar face. "...Athena?" Leon asks. "Thats grandma to you mister" athena tuts. Leon can't help but smile. He hasn't seen or heard her in so long. "Ministry really didn't want me near you" athena hums walking closer. "Why?" Leon asks. "How do you think skelly keeps you safe?" She smirks stopping infront of him. Leon smiles slightly. "Of course he cheats"

Athena chuckles as she takes in her grandson. "So...what happens now?" Leon asks looking around. "You need to think and think hard. Because it's not your time" athena tells him. "Is this purgatory?" Leon asks. "Who cares? Leon you need to find ministry and kill him." Athena signs. "Why? If I'm dead he's dead. He can't hurt anyone." Leon huffs. "Because it's not your time" athena snaps. "Who cares? Everyone will be better without me." Leon mutters. He winces as a hand clips the back of his head. "And this is our grandson? A quitter?" A deeper voice grunts.

Leon glances back. "Thomas" "Thats Grandpa to you sunny" Thomas warns. "You wanna see what's happening right now? Look. Take a close look" athena orders pushing him towards the side. Leon frowns but listens.

---

"Its been a day. You all need to calm down" Taker sighs. "No, we need to know what the fuck is going on" Kevin growls. "Yeah" hunter nods. "Why the hell did he light our boy on fire! Why is Leon dead and you lot are okay with it!" Kevin yells. "Because ministry was back and clinging to Leon. That's why. The only way to get rid of him was to kill him in Leon's body" Taker explains as drew shrinks back. "So what happens now?" Hunter asks. "Leon has to kill ministry's soul, spirit whatever that parasite is." Taker answers. "And if he doesn't?" Kevin asks.

Shawn hugs himself as Taker avoids looking at Kevin. Kevins jaw clenches. "Taker! You better start-" "Leon's gone forever. If Leon just gives up then he's gone. Never coming back, alright?" Taker snaps. The room falls silent. Drew glances up as Kevin suddenly throws his water bottle across the room and grabs Taker, slamming him against the wall. "Does he know this?" Kevin growls. "Couldn't exactly tell him the plan" Taker growls. "So my baby boy could be gone, forever, just like that?" Kevin asks. Shawns eyes widen as he looks at kevin. Taker frowns. "Kev.." "great. Grand. Just what we need. Another god damn death!" Kevin yells pushing away from the man and storming out. "Kev!" Shawn sighs running after him.

Drew can't help as his eyes widen and water. Taker glances at him. "You did the right thing. Do not doubt yourself or Leon." Taker tells him. Drew doesn't feel that way.

----

Leon frowns. "Scott's having the time of his life by the way" Thomas comments. Leon looks at him. "Can I see him?" Leon asks. "No, sorry kiddo. He's living it up on Scott Island in heaven." Thomas apologises. Leon huffs. "Who knew he'd pull a one way ticket to heaven?" Leon mutters stepping back. "They let pretty much anyone in. You'd be surprised." Athena shrugs. "But..he's happy right?" Leon asks. "Hes proud of you all, if that's what your wondering. He's got another year until he's allowed to do what we do. So prepare for that" Thomas admits.

Leon looks down at his wedding ring. The black band with drews name carved on the inside. "If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for him" athena whispers.

Leon nods. "What do I do?" He asks. "You have to find him in a memory. You have to find him and kill him." Thomas explains. "Alright." Leon nods. "Try find one he's in a lot. I'm guessing he was in that first one" athena comments. Leon's face flushes, immediately grateful he figured it out before that night continued. "Um yeah..he's surprisingly homophobic for a man created from a..well demon who's married to a human man" Leon rubs his neck. "Its not him" athena hums. "Right...feeds off weakness..okay yes...I was the one homophobic...towards myself." Leon mutters. "Dont worry. Your father was the same aswell. And well just like you he still managed to fuck whoever. Same for your pa-" "Alright Alright please" Leon groans.

The pair chuckle and step back. "Just think really hard and it'll come to ya" Thomas states. Leon nods and closes his eyes.

The sound of waves hits his ears. A pair of breast presses against his back, sand under his legs.

Leon opens his eyes. The beach. "I wish mattie would hurry" valentina huffs from behind Leon. "I wish you'd stop putting sand in my hair" Leon frowns as he texts John about whatever. "You love it really" she purs against his ear. He rolls his eyes. "Still can't believe we convinced you to come with us" valentina comments leaning her head back. "My final year of being free before I'm vince mcmahons slave? Imma take it" Leon scoffs. He was finally breaking out from his father's shadow. A solo act. He couldn't wait.

"Which we must celebrate!" Mattie cheers as he falls onto Leon's legs. Leon groans at the weight. Mattie was like Drew. Bigger...safety. Mattie rolls onto his stomach, Leon forces his legs apart to allow the man in. "And the ice creams?" Valentina asks. "Oh I didnt get any" Mattie smiles. "Of course. Because why would you do the one thing we asked?" Leon snarks. He yelps as Mattie manages to push his swin shorts up and bite him on the inner thigh. He brings a foot up and knocks the man in the head as the other two laugh.

It doesn't come.

The teasing voice about his and matties weird relationship.

The laughing continues.

The bite throbs.

Leon closes his eyes as he pulled from his body. "Not with drew...not with mattie or val..." Leon mutters as he opens his eyes. He's shocked as he's stood in the middle of his parents home. He's stood infront of the grand staircase.

"Stay away from us!" His Pas voice echos through the house. Leon's eyes widen. "Hes here.." Leon looks down the hall leading to his father's office before he's running down it. The door opens before he even reaches it, his eyes immediately settling on the skeleton blade handle that would eventually go on to redefine him and his life.

A surge of power rushes through Leon as he grabs it. He examines the blade before taking a deep breathe. "Please...give me one last chance at life..." he whispers as his Pas sobbing picks up. "Now or never Lee.. " Leon mutters before rushing out.

The house begins to fade behind him as he runs upstairs and towards the master bedroom. He stops in the doorway at the sight. Pa clutching baby him close to his chest, John stood behind him against the wall, confused and scared.

Ministry. Ministry walking towards them holding his hands out.

"Stop" Leon growls. And the demon does. He chuckles deeply as he turns towards Leon, his head tilting. "Well well...if it isn't little Leon Michaels, all grown up" ministry smiles. "You know...teenage me always wanted a shot at killing my dad" Leon admits tightening his grip on the blade. "Yeah, I know" ministry smirks stepping closer. "Shame I'm not your dad" he adds. Leon glances at his scared pa. "This is where it all began, isn't it? When you first latched onto me like the parasite you are" Leon asks. Ministry smiles. "It is. Infact..its like a infinite loop. In 30 odd years that baby will be all grown up, stood right there doing this all over again. Your pa will know exactly what your fate is..but he won't tell a single soul" ministry chuckles.

"Oh..that's were your wrong. He will. Atleast this time he did" Leon states moving closer to ministry. "What?" Ministry asks caught off guard. He gasps as the blade is suddenly shoved into his chest.

"Leon....you can't fight him. You won't win. You never will. And it can't be any old knife it has to be the one." Shawn whispers as he massages Leon's shoulders. Leon tenses in his wheelchair. "What?" He asks quietly. "Straight through the heart. Don't even bother entertaining him. It'll be in your father's office. He hadn't put it on display yet." Shawn explains as he removes his hands. Leon turns to look at the man. "Pa?" He asks.

"The others used a normal blade, tried fighting you with hand by hand combat. Not me. I know better, all because of him" Leon whispers against the tallers ear. Ministry grabs him as he chokes and splutters on his own thick tar like blood. "Me and you? We are one in the same. And God I hate it. But I'm not running anymore. I'm not hiding from the darkness anymore. Not like you." Leon continues. "Im not afraid of death anymore." Leon growls as he tightens his hold on the blade. "But you are" Leon smirks as he pulls it up, causing the demon to cry in pain. "Dont keep the devil waiting, old friend" Leon growls as he pulls the blade out and stabs it straight into the mans forehead, right between the eyes.

"You? You have to feed into his fear of death. He doesn't want to die and neither do you." Shawn tells him. "I don't care about dying. You know that" Leon huffs. Shawn kneels infront of him. "You are scared. Terrified. You don't want to die. And you need your dad's help." Shawn explains. Leon's eyes widen. "You know how to stop him" Leon whispers leaning forward. Shawn smiles and cups Leon's face. "You were always a smart boy" he whispers. "You know what you have to do"

Leon glances towards his big brother and Pa. "Thank you" Leon whispers as the demons gurgles and chokes stop. Shawns eyes are wide, full of fear. "Thats not Taker. Taker will be back in.." Leon glances at the calender. "Five months? He'll be a little different but it will be your Taker." Leon explains glances back at his Pa. "Leon?" Shawn asks confused. Leon smiles and nods. "Hi Pa. I..it gets better, I promise. For all of us. But for it to stay better I need you to remember today and I need you to tell that baby about it in the future. You'll know when." Leon explains. "What do I say?" Shawn asks. Leon steps forward. "Here's what you say.."

-----

Taker suddenly groans and starts to choke. "Taker?" Drew asks. This grabs the others attention. "Taker!" Drew yells rushing over to catch the man as he falls. "SHAWN! KEVIN!" Hunter yells. Drews eyes widen as a red mark appears on his forehead. Shawn and Kevin rush in. "Whats wrong?" Kevin asks. "Somethings wrong with dad!" Cassie cries. Shawn rushes over. His eyes immediately see the mark and he smiles. He pulls the collar of takers tshirt down revealing the long line forming on his chest. "He did it" Shawn whispers. Drew examines the mark before looking at shawn. "What?" Drew asks. "He did it. He killed ministry." Shawn smiles wider.

Taker let's out a shakey breathe and his eyes glow purple. Drew steps back as the marks also glow purple before disappearing. "That felt...wrong" Taker mutters. "He did it baby. Our boy did it" Shawn smiles. Taker frowns and looks at shawn. "You...you knew?" Taker asks quietly. "Hes coming home" Shawn smiles ignoring his husband. Kane moves forward, eyes set on shawn. "You knew?" Drew repeats. Shawn senses the sudden shift and backs up. "Its a long story" Shawn states. "We have time" Kevin growls. John suddenly gasps.

"That man was Leon?" John asks. Everyone looks at him. "Ministry visited us and this guy..his face was always a blur for me but he stabbed him...I always thought it was a bad dream.." John explains. "A loop?" Taker asks. "No..he explained how the past Leon's always failed. Died. But our Leon? Our Leon pulled it off" Shawn smiles. "Because you told him the truth. You talked him through it and you set it all up...none of us even knew" Taker mutters in shock. His husband was a smart bastard when he wanted to be. "So..the whole scared of dying thing?" Drew asks. "It was for ministry's benefit. Leon doesn't care about dying" Shawn admits. "Good, because I'm killing the bastard when I get my hands on him" drew growls. "Hes coming home" Kevin sighs. "When?" Cassie asks.

She gets a answer as thunder strikes the valley. "Well someone's home" Taker mutters, still staring at shawn in shock. How long had Shawn had this planned? Shawn managed to remember the details and prepare a whole war plan without Taker or kane ever finding out? Shawn had changed a whole loop, broken it, all on his own. Taker was scared but damn he was also impressed. And surprisingly turned on.

The kids and hunter groan as Taker pulls Shawn into a deep kiss. Shawn gasps but kisses back. He pulls back. "What was that for?" Shawn asks. "That? That's incredibly hot" Taker states. John and cassie gag and hunter groans and complains. "What?" Shawn asks. "You know what. You did this all on your own. You broke a loop. You are a incredibly smart bastard when you want to be and that side of you is so fucking hot" Taker growls. Shawns face burns quickly. "Can we get back to Leon!" John groans. "Of course...um what did you do with Leon's body?" Shawn asks. "Oh it was completely burnt." Taker mutters.

"What?"

-----

Leon's eyes shoot open and he can't fight the groan that escapes him as the bright light blinds him.

The burning sensation racing through his body confirms he's been hit by lightning. He groans as his vision comes too. He rolls onto his back and looks. A tree.

A tree?

The tree on the hill!

He did it!

Leon sits up, way to fast and ends up hunching to the side to throw up. He frowns at the black sludge that came from him.

He's not surprised. The last thing he ate was destroyed in a casket fire.

He takes in the valley as a smile grows. He slowly pulls himself up, his joints groaning and aching. He examines himself. Naked as the day he was born. But the scratch marks from ministry are gone. He smiles and teleports himself back to his old bedroom. He can hear talking downstairs but he'll get to that later.

He grabs some clothes and moves into the bathroom.

He turns his back to the mirror and glances at it. His smile stays. The mark of Undertaker is gone, in its place? Is a scar that is left by lightning. His smile fades slightly when he notices something else.

Roses.

Roses have appeared on his upper back, spreading across his shoulders. He touches them as best as he can and nothing happens. There like tattoos.

Then he thinks back. Roses. Athena.

How could he be so stupid? He still had the scars on his ankles and knees from that time a evil athena used roses to tie his legs up. The thorns and vines left what drew described as beautiful roads up his legs. He glances at how there's only one rose with a vine and it connects to the tip of the lightning scar. He can't help but smile softly. "Glad to have you back Athena." He whispers. Evil athenas Mark would forever be over shadowed by the beautiful spread across his shoulders. He also had a feeling Thomas had something to do with the new scar replacing ministry's old ones.

He discards the shirt and pulls some jeans on. Was this freedom? Was he finally free?

--

Taker shushes everyone as creaking comes from above them. Kane nudges taker. 'Dad' he signs. "I sense Mom as well" Taker states confused. "I'd hope so" a voice calls. Everyone turns and immediately rushes forward. Drew gets there first, pulling Leon into a hug. "Im so sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry" drew whimpers. Leon chuckles. "You did the right thing. I'm sorry for making you feel ten times worse with my acting" Leon huffs as drew steps back. "The marks.." Drew begins as he examines Leon's front. Leon holds out his tattooed arms, Leon's torso arm tattoos were complete again. Ministry's scars had cut through them like ugly..well scars.

Leon slowly turns revealing his back. "The mark is gone..but-" Leon cuts taker off. "Lightning. Struck me nice and hard roughly 5..10 minutes ago?" Leon asks. "And the new tattoo?" Cassie asks. "Grandma's gift to me." Leon admits. Taker can't help but smile and pull his youngest son into a hug. "I knew you could do it" Taker whispers. Leon smiles and hugs him back. "You and your pa ever plot behind my back again and I will kill you both" Taker whispers as he squeezes Leon. Leon winces. "Ah-scar still fresh-" Leon whines. "Yeah, probably my dad's way of punishing you" Taker smirks pulling back.

Leon doesn't even get a second before Kevin has him in a tight hold. "Im sorry" Leon whispers closing his eyes. "Shut up" Kevin growls quietly. "I just need to hold you" he adds. Leon sighs and rests his head against the mans chest.

"Its a cool look to be fair." John admits. "Yeah. You should get a tattoo." Cassie smiles. "No. You." John frowns. "No way" she huffs. Leon turns to his siblings. "I die and this is how you greet me?" Leon asks. "Your alive now" John points out. "Hes got a good point" cassie nods. The others watch as the siblings stare at each other, having a silent conversation. They then watch as cassie and John take off with speed and Leon is close after them.

Shawn smiles and hugs taker and drew close. "Im glad he's back." "I'm glad he's alive and safe" drew sighs resting his head against shawns. "Im concerned about my house.. " Taker frowns at the crashing causing the others to laugh.

----

Athena stands on the stairs platform as the kids run after each other. "He did good." Thomas murmurs. "I told you he would." Athena hums as her husband hugs her waist. "Best thing to ever happen to this family he is." Athena adds as the adults walk in. Thomas looks at him. "Shawn Michaels. Who woulda thought?" Thomas chuckles. "Me." Athena smiles as she looks at the blonde.

Thomas smirks as the blonde looks at them. Shawn smiles softly at them and nods slightly. The pair nod back. Taker glances at them, but unlike Shawn, he sees nothing. "What is it?" Taker asks quietly. "Nothing. Just thinking of a new carpet" Shawn smiles causing Taker to groan and throw his head back.

Shawn giggles as Leon finally tackles John only for cassie to jump on him. "Im glad it's over."

----------------------------------------------------------------------NoTEz

Same

I think.

Depends how yall feel about this part.

If no one likes it then I'll probably.. idk change it.

But if people like it, I'll keep it.

I know the ministry fight wasn't big, but I liked the Shawn plot twist and thought that added more, yk humfp to the situation. Also I hate writing fighting scenes. Which I think is clear in the last part of this in the drew vs Leon coffin match. Which I skiped despite it being the main plot of it.

I also think the idea of Leon, this violent force, using something other than animalistic violence to defeat his biggest foe is true character long term story telling. Yes he stabbed him but it was the brains of him and and shawn that pulled it all off.

I do like updating Leon's character design. So either way that'll stick. Also lightning scars are scary, because of how you get them, but so cool looking.

Enjoy:)