#heaven help me if we get to see ed's ass i think i may die

[areyoudoingthis]

a list of explicitly sexual things that have happened on the gay pirate show to date:

pete and lucius talked about how they like an audience after walking out of a doorless room where they had clearly been having sex (while wee john just chilled nearby)

jim and olu cuddled naked in bed and were inevitably walked in on by a crew that doesn't understand sock on the door language

stede heard mary and doug loudly having sex. like mary was very enthusiastically moaning go ofmd defend the importance of female pleasure

izzy's brain malfunctioned and he started moaning oh daddy in front of a very shocked audience

ed moaned so explicitly when stede stabbed him that izzy literally thought they were fucking

the lovely rendition of fang's cock (that was sexual lucius meant it to be)

(this one isn't sexual but it does pertain to the human body) buttons runs around bareassed every other day. like, you have seen his ass on screen. we have all seen his ass. the british navy has seen his ass

honorific mention to jack outright mentioning to stede that he and ed banged. it wasn't graphic but it established that this show is cool with men having sex with each other (in case it needed to be spelled out)

why on earth wouldn't the show where all of this has happened show a scene of ed and stede in bed (or elsewhere) together and explicitly indicate that sex was had/is being had/will be had (and most importantly, physical and emotional intimacy is being shared between these two people who have been deprived of and so desperate for it their entire lives, as the show has said and shown repeatedly)

[hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong]

Take down the Bat

(Minor summer 4 spoilers)

After Xook had been taken care off and Hokusai managed a victory against Melt, next was to go to the Rakuza casino. But instead of a regular casino it's more like a district in a Japanese town. Filled with shops and the like.

Mari: this is nothing like the others.... why come here?

Rex: well the next swimsuit swordmaster is here.

Quetz: si.... it's a bit more complicated tho.

Ed: like how?

Rex: well this is all being run by Nobunaga, of the demon king variety.

Mari: Washi ja lady? Damn, can't take her seriously.

Quetz: si, and she has her own group of Daimyos too!

Ed: eh?! Isn't that a bit much?!

Rex: it would be but..... well let's go to the first Daimyo and you'll see my point.

Hokusai: a whole bunch of daimyos?! It'll be thrilling taking them down!

Rex: right......

But as they went on to each headquarters of all the daimyos, each and everyone of them had been defeated already, by someone else.

Hokusai: what's going on!? Every single one of them! Gone!

Mari: damn, sad.

Ed: who could be doing this?

Then they hear panic throughout the town, and people running away.

Quetz: que es eso?!

Rex: let's find out!

The group run to the outside to try and find the source of the panic.

When they do go out, they see two figures in the sky, duking it out at high speeds. The two were so fast, they were like a blur.

Mari: que es eso?!

Rex: good question...

Then one of the figures falls after a strike from the other, landing near the group, it looked to be Okita.

Hokusai: wow there! What happened to you?!

Okita: urgh. Kind of a long story, but I was busy with something then that thing attacked me!

The group look up again to see the figure flying stationary, staring down at them. It was Camazotz once again. The group had finally run into him again.

Quetz: Camazotz!

Okita: you guys know him?

Mari: unfortunately

The creature immediately flew straight upwards before going into a dive bomb towards them.

In an immediate response, Okita manages to get back up and block the monster's talons with her sword.

Okita: they seem to have it out for you all!

The monster flies back up into the air. Possibly to try again.

Mari: yeah he does, I've had to deal with this asshat's bullshit for fucking ages!

As she says this, she walks forward and seems to be preparing for something.

Mari: but not anymore! Now I'm gonna beat his ass!

Hokusai: master, you're concerning me.

Ed: si, you've seemed to have gone a bit mad with power.

Mari: well yeah, try going mad without it, it's boring.

Okita: if you're going to fight him, let me help. He's already gotten in my way far too much today!

Hokusai: what are you trying to do anyways?

Okita: I need to win that grail! If not, I won't make it through the day!

Hokusai: what?!

Ed: huh!?

Mari: fucking shit.... let's try and make this quick then!

Then out of Mari's back, grew large feathered and skeletal wings. Ornamented with purple and black feathers, with a large red talon at the bending point.

Hokusai: whaaaaat?! Master you grew wings?!

Mari: yeah, came with absorbing those chips!

Okita: how good are you with those?

Mari: hmmm.... let's just get started!

Rex: I am not filled with confidence....

Then both Mari and Okita soared into the air, within Camazotz's sights! The bat monster immediately flew towards the two, in an attempt to attack.

Okita readied her sword, meanwhile Mari's hands grew feathers and large claws ready to attack.

They both parried Camazotz's talons, and before retaliating!

Okita: is this your first time flying?

Mari: on my own, yeah! What about you?!

Okita: couldn't do it before I got this jetpack, but I've already gotten the hang of it.

Mari: great to hear!

After a bit more time fighting, Camazotz backed up before summoning his swarm of tiny pterosaurs!

Okita: what?! He can do that?!

Mari: unfortunately, yeah!

Meanwhile on the ground

Rex: you think she'll be fine?

Quetz: I hope so...

Hokusai: ya think we should try and help her?

But as they talked, another figure approached. Seeming to have been injured, from a previous bout. It was the Demon King version of Nobunaga.

Rex: oh shit Nobu, you look like shit.

Ed: oh hey! Washi ja lady!

M!Nobu: washi ja...? Whatever, where the hell is that Bat Monster?

The rest of the group pointed upwards, promptint the Demon King to look up at Mari and Okita trying to fend off the beast and his swarm.

M!Nobu: ah...

Hokusai: also, what in the hell happened to you?!

M!Nobu: well... I was just running my super legal business-

Rex: totally wasn't legal

M!Nobu: when out of nowhere Okita came and attacked me! I was nearly finished if it wasn't for that bat monster busting in and attacking her.

Quetz: now what do you plan to do?

M!Nobu: I'm taking out that bat! He's ruining everything!

Hokusai: even though, he technically saved you?

M!Nobu: I mean, Okita probably had her reasons to attack me. Also I just don't like this dude.

Quetz: well do something fast!

M!Nobu: I got it, I got it!

Back to Mari and Okita, the two were still struggling with the swarm.

Mari: ok! I got an idea!

Okita: what is it?!

Mari: first, get down!

Okita then flew down, allowing Mari to have enough room to safely release a huge cloud of toxic gas!

Most of the swarm fell thanks to the toxin.

Mari: hahaha! Get fucked asshat!

And as Mari celebrated, she heard her mother call out to her.

Quetz: Mija! Get down!

Mari: huh?!

Demon King of the Myriad Heavens!

As soon as Mari heard this, she dropped to the ground, baring witness to the hail of Bullets hitting the remaining swarm and Camazotz.

M!Nobu: ha! How do you like that!

When the dust cleared tho, Camazotz was still in the air. But he was visibly injured.

M!Nobu: dammit....

Hokusai: maybe another go?

M!Nobu: that already took the majority of my current mana to pull off!

Then soaring back into the air, Mari and Okita were ready to finish him off.

Mari: don't worry! We've got this!

Okita: unfortunately, my jetpack been damaged. I could probably only pull off one last attack before it's over for me.

M!Nobu: wait, what?!

Okita: it's very long and complicated, but this Jetpack is my life support now and without it I'll die.

Mari: then let's stop wasting time and let's go!

Okita: right!

The two flew up towards the monster! Ready to deal the finishing blow!

At insane speeds, they circled forward through the air before finally!

CROSS COMBINATION SLASH!!!

The two simultaneously sliced at the monster, finishing him off for good! But as this happened, Okita started to fall. Mari just barely managed to catch her as she landed.

Mari: Okita! Okita, speak to me.

Okita seemed to not have much left in her. Her eyes losing the life in them. The rest of the group came in to see her final moments.

Ed: oh no....

Hokusai: Okita....

M!Nobu: dammit.... not like this...

Okita: it's ok everyone. I had a good life, with master and Nobu and even got to meet Master's children too, I even got to fight alongside one of them aswell. And I finally got my swimsuit, it may not have lasted long but I got the Supreme victory I wanted in the end.

Mari: no... Okita please... I barely got to know you...

Okita: it'll be OK, Maria. I'm sure we may one day... be able to meet again... just know that.... I'm happy to have shared my final fight alongside you....

And with that, Okita seemed to have died. The battle was won... but came at too high a price.

Then MHXX came along.

XX: oh hey everyone! Where's Okita?

The group all looked at her, silently before she saw Okita laying in Mari's arms.

XX: ...what happened?

M!Nobu: she's gone.... her life support cut out.

XX: huh? Oh that! That shouldn't be an issue! Turns out, she was fine the whole time! Didn't need life support at all, I was just confused from her already not so good health. She should still be just fine.

The group then looked back at Okita, only for her to open her eyes again with a DEEP red blush on her face from the embarrassment.

Mari: Okita...?

Okita: hmmm... DEATH TO MYSTERIOUS HEROINE XX!!!

XX: Huh!?

And immediately Okita got back up, and attacked XX.

A/N: Finally! The next installment of this story! Took me too long to get here! Hopefully I'll be better with this going forward. Not much left anyways, but still... hope yall like it!

@hasbbdoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @havetheavengersdoneanythingwrong @hasjalterdoneanythingwrong @hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong @hasnightingaledoneanythingwrong @hasmerlindoneanythingwrong

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XLVI

It was a love story, from the very beginning

The Guilt and The Demon!Dean foreshadow

(9x14/9x15 and 9x17)

Hi my dears! Another meta from season 9, this is a very interesting one, talking about a funny mirror I found with the ghostfacers and Destiel, also a new foreshadow for what will come in season 10.

We will talk about Dean's guilt and a lot a foreshadows too for Demon!Dean and his summer love with Crowley.

I want to say thank you to my friend @agusvedder, she made the gifs for this meta, thank you girl!!

Okay, let's start...

Guilt and more Guilt

Episode 9x14 is all about GUILT. We have Dean talking with Ghost!Kevin, trying to ask for forgiveness, because his death is all over Dean's shoulders... He said it while he was trying to contact him.

DEAN: Kevin? Kevin. All right, I can't do this. Coffee-buzzing, bump-in-the-night crap. I got serious things to say to you, okay? And I'm not gonna say them to this.

[DEAN gets up and turns his back on the coffeemaker]

Kevin, I'm sorry. You did not choose this life. You busted your ass, you lost everything, everyone you've loved...

[[MORE]]

This speech is yelling guilt the whole time. Is Dean trying to say every painful word that had been stabbing his heart and his mind since Kevin died. One of his huge, heavy bags on his back.

Then... We will have Castiel talking with Bartholomew, and again, this angel trying to bring the guilt on Castiel, the fault.

But before this... Bartholomew will try to recruit him... Castiel is not that kind of angel, the one who follows orders, so, Bartholomew can't barely understand what motives Castiel to keep fighting by his own...

And this is a foreshadow for that famous quote from Metatron: IT WAS ALWAYS TO SAVE ONE HUMAN. TO SABE DEAN WINCHESTER.

That's why Castiel needs to keep fighting, and that's what Castiel feels is waiting for him, for his help. Is waiting to be saved, even if he doesn't feel he deserves it.

And then, the exposition of Castiel's sins, and guilts...

But Castiel answered magnificently... And this proves he really grew up after being a human. He did what he had to to survive, because they are in war. But what he did... Doesn't define him.

The quote from Bartholomew WE FOLLOW ORDERS, is against Castiel's nature, and impress the huge difference between Heaven and Castiel.

Foreshadow of Demon!Dean/Crowley summer of love, and Castiel's finding another "new love"

Okay, we had a little scene in 9x14 between Sam and Dean...

What a funny foreshadow of what will be Dean and Crowley's summer of love, Dean giving some credit to the Demon, as if it was the beginning of a great friendship.

And we had a very interesting Destiel mirror with Ghostfacers in episode 9x15 Thin Man.

If you watch the episode, it will look like if Harry and Ed were representing the current issue between Sam and Dean. Their fight because of Gadreel possession. But if you dig deeper... They're not just mirroring the brothers there...

First of all I want you to pay attention to the clothes changes in Harry. Harry will be our shapeshifter mirror. He will be mirroring Cas and Dean, and it will be easier for you if you hear his words and see his color coded dressing.

With that on mind... Let's check this scene...

ED: What did Dana post?

HARRY [turning his phone around to show ED a picture of a girl]

No, it's just -- she changed her profile pic, and it's cropped, (...)

Okay, Dana mhm, is obviously making reference to Dean here... But Dean is with another man... Platonically?? That's a very funny word related to Destiel dynamic, but also... Dana/Dean is betraying... Harry dressed in BLUE COLOR (CASTIEL MIRROR), so, blatantly talking about what is about to come... Dean will betray Castiel with Crowley, but just platonically (🤣) so funny.

But this doesn't ends here... Because when Dean arrives... The dialogue between him and Harry (Castiel mirror) becomes very second meaning and flirty.

HARRY: Ahh, first of all, you guys don't scare us.

ED: Not at all.

HARRY [lifting his shirt to reveal a gun in his waistband] Say, "hola" to my little pistola.

DEAN: Am I supposed to be impressed with that treasure trail or the lady gun you got hiding in your, uh, pants there?

HARRY: Uh...Both?

Okay, this was for dirty minds, and we know who had a happy treasure trail, right? Hello sexy Mish.

And then we had this new reference to Dana again...

ED: Come on, man, would you please stop Facebook stalking your ex-girlfriend?

HARRY: I was right.

ED: Hmm?

HARRY: She changed her relationship status to "it's complicated." What does that even mean?

ED: Who cares? You broke up with her. Everything about that girl is complicated. Okay, I mean, she gets the cream puffs, she tells you to take out the filling. They're just puffs.

So Dean is complicated, and he will be in a complicated relationship with Crowley... Foreshadow again.

Now... Don't forget that ass slap to Harry/still Cas mirror dressed in blue, but now adding green and red to make reference to Destiel.

May I add this was too gay? And how Agus marked me... Dean is hitting his lower lip like, excuse me sir?

Finally, we arrived to the big fight between Harry (dressed in red, toxic Dean, it means he is mirroring Dean now) and Ed.

This fight brought to elements... One the brothers fight we saw at the end of Road Trip, mostly when Ed confess he did it for Harry (to lie). And two... The break up will be between Crowley and Dean at the beginning of season 10... So... Pay attention to this dialogue, thinking we have toxic/demon!Dean/Dean mirror in Harry and Crowley mirror in Ed...

Who was the woman Harry/Dean was about to marry, the woman who he had a serious and deep relationship? Dana, now... This reference is linked to Castiel. Castiel is the safe love the unconditional love, the man who will always be there for Dean. The angel showed him that in Road Trip. He's his loyal partner. The love of his life.

Now... This...

ED: Well, maybe it's not too late, you know? You could call her and see.

Okay, this just recalled me when Dean and Crowley broke up, Crowley went straight to give some stolen grace to Cas, to give Dean his ex boyfriend back.

HARRY: That's not gonna work.

ED: Well, maybe -- maybe it will.

Okay!! And let's stop here... Remember in episode 10x03 when Dean was back to normal and Castiel entered in his room? And Cas just threw I HAVE A WOMAN ON MY CAR? And Dean's face was like WHAT DID YOU JUST SAID??

Ah okay, so... Because Dean had this live summer with Crowley, with empty promises and all... Now he lost Cas, who searched for another love interest? (Hannah?) So yeah... Now Dana is Cas. And yes, Cas said this because he wanted some revenge and make Dean a little jealous.

Okay but that is for season 10 Chronicles we will have to wait...

Foreshadow of Cas and Sam healing Demon!Dean

This is just a brief comment about episode 9x17 Mother's little helper.

This scene...

Is a foreshadow of Sam facing his brother as a demon, Demon!Dean will act like a soulless evil, erratic and heartless.

This episode showed us an unrequited love and a sacrifice for that love, linked too to season 10 and how will Dean feel after becoming normal.

And because is talking about soulless people, is a foreshadow to Amara's plot too.

Sam releasing the souls is showing us he will be solving the way to bring his brother back at the beginning of season 10: again FAMILY LOVE (Sam) and ROMANTIC LOVE (Castiel) will save the day.

To Conclude:

Episode 14 talked about guilt as a central topic this season, but it began to show clues about Dean/Crowley dynamic in season 10, we had even Dean saying to Del (the demon) "Well, me and Crowley, we're -- we're tight now. Thick as thieves. Saw him just last month. We, uh, had a grand ol' time."

Episode 15 did the same with Ed and Harry as mirror shifters for Cas/Dean and Dean/Crowley. Talking us about a love triangle between CAS/DEAN/CROWLEY and DEAN/CAS/HANNAH.

Finally we had another foreshadow of how they will heal Dean at the beginning of season 10 in episode 9x17, when Sam released those souls.

I hope you liked this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping

If you want to be tagged or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to check the previous season 9 Chronicles, here are the links...

Vol. XL, XVLI, XLII, XLIII, XLIV and XLV

Buenos Aires 15th January 2020 5:32 PM

[kiss-my-freckle]

Dialogues

1x2 -

Red: Watch yourself with her, Donald. She hates men, and cops most of all.

1x3 -

Red: I prefer to play with myself in private.

Liz: He’s a myth. Red: That’s what they said about Deep Throat … and the G-Spot.

1x5 -

Red: She owns that nightclub. Last time I was there, we had a great deal of fun, until she tried to strangle me with her stocking.

Red: Or just bend over any available piece of furniture and let her slap you on the ass. She loves that.

Red: He knows you better than I do, and I know where that lovely little freckle is.

1x6 -

Red: Because Yuri talks faster than a cheerleader after a nooner under the grandstands. Probably not a metaphor you understand.

1x8 -

Red: Oh, my God. I’ve never been more scared of a woman in my life. She was thrilling in bed. What a pair of legs. I think she played field hockey in college.  

1x14 -

Red: I had a little talk with Rasil. We had a few laughs, compared notes about you. He told me all about that delightful thing you do with a trouser belt, which was a bit hurtful, since I was pretty sure it was our thing.

1x18 -

Vlad: You slept with my wife. Red: How is Fadila? Vlad, it was a mistake. I can easily blame it on the hashish and the grappa, but the truth is - may I speak freely? You’re better off without her. She’s fickle.

1x19 -

Red: Calculus. I can’t even think about derivatives without thinking of that tutor in manor hall. Cindy something-or-other. Never wore a brassiere. Always a bounce in her step.

1x20 -

Red: Ah. Smells like decadence and vice.

2x1 -

Red: They know your habits, the banks you use, the pills you pop, the men or women you sleep with.

Red: Lord Baltimore. Aren’t you a surprisingly saucy minx.

Samar: Aren’t we confident today? Red: I’m confident every day. Samar: And I thought we had nothing in common.

2x7 -

Red: Keep your plum covered. We’re not alone.

2x10 -

Red: Luther, I never thought I’d enjoy having anything in my mouth as much as Petty Officer Virginia Sherman, but this - My God! It tastes so good! I hesitate to swallow, and I certainly don’t want to spit it out.

2x2 -

Red: Mmm! Tastes just like Patty Sutton.

2x3 -

Red: Titillating. But what Laskin and Russo do with or to one another in their spare time is none of my concern. Red: A threesome? Interesting. Based on his sartorial splendor, I gather this is Mr. Vargas. Does that even look like real hair?

Red: You poor thing. Honestly, I don’t know how you do it. It boggles the imagination. B.B., you don’t look well. Are you alright? Let me guess: irregular heartbeat, shortness of breath, perhaps a little tingling in your nether regions? Those drinks you’ve been enjoying on the house? They weren’t from the house. They were from me. I hope you don’t mind. I took the liberty of adding a special surprise ingredient, something to treat any localized dysfunction you may be suffering. Has the little man been falling down on the job? It’s a miracle drug, not so much for a glutton with a bum heart, however. But look on the bright side, you’ll die with a marvelous erection.

2x11 -

Red: The other one, the watercolorist, she - legs like a shot-putter. She gets me in this headlock. I black out. Next thing I know, I wake up - no sheets, vaseline everywhere. The lipstick on the mirror overhead reads, “Same time next year?” I haven’t missed an art expo in Basel since.

Red: Ah. A Russian milonga. Watch closely, Lizzy. Everything you need to know about negotiation is there in the tango milonga. At the outset, they are opponents. Each has something the other wants. They size one another up, assessing risk, setting boundaries, challenging each other to breach them. A sensuous battle - violence and sex balanced on the blade of a knife. Nothing given that is not earned - nothing taken that is not given. This is the pure essence of negotiation. Not a poker game, but a milonga. A tango. A seduction.

Red: And I assure you my bed accommodates a broad spectrum of behavior.

2x12 -

Red: Samar, my dear, bump in the road I can help smooth over, or have the clouds finally parted and this is a social call?

2x14 -

Red: Careful there, boys. You don’t want to bruise the merchandise.

Red: Really, I’m all for being thorough, but at this point, you’re just taking the nickel tour.

Red: Oh, the Dinky. No matter the time of day, that damn train is always full of hungover frat boys and co-eds in the throes of morning-after regret.

Red: Good heavens, Earl. You’ve never had any feeling in your heart, but now it looks like there isn’t much going on below the waist. Earl: I do all right. The wheelchair is just a little memento of our time together in Bolivia. Red: No hard feelings, I trust.

2x18 -

Red: Because, Mr. Jasper, you strike me as a man who would prefer to pitch rather than catch.

2x20 -

Red: Don’t look so glum, Kenneth. You just spent 10 minutes being ridden hard by Agent Navabi. I’d die for five.

2x21 -

Red: She makes her real money consulting. Costs a fortune. She did, however, let me name a lipstick color - “Fire In The Hole.”

Kimberly: I can only tell you what they’re doing. I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you who they’re doing it to.

3x7 -

Hasaan: What do you want? Red: Well, another spin of the bottle in Melanie Reichman’s basement, but, I’ll settle for you.

3x8 -

Red: When’s the last time you got any of that, Pablo? Or have you? Pablo: We share everything.

Red: No wonder Cash doesn’t trust you with anything more important than babysitting. Pablo: That’s big talk coming from a guy who’s -

3x9 -

Red: I prefer that slight curve at the small of the back, the swell of a breast, the soft nape of the neck to quicken my heartbeat.

3x21 -

Cynthia: I read his e-mails. Ever since I found him with the nanny, I look at everything. Samuel: We don’t even have a nanny! It was a movie. Red: A nanny movie? Cynthia: Not just nannies. Schoolteachers, nurses, and a ridiculous threesome with two completely unbelievable policewomen. Samuel: Cynthia, they’re just movies. I have never cheated on you. And besides, I don’t think he wants to hear about it. Red: Yes, I want to hear about it. All about it. Unfortunately, I do need to hear about your contract with Halcyon. So business first, and then, Cynthia, I’ll be all ears.

Red: I had an enlightening meeting with Samuel Rand today. More to the point, with his wife, Cynthia.

Scottie: Howard didn’t take that job. We haven’t had sex in four years. We’re rarely in the same country, let alone the same bed. Red: What bed have you been occupying? Scottie: I’ve been assuming a larger role in a management position lately. Red: You don’t say.

Red: You have it all wrong, dear. I didn’t come to kill you. I came here because you and I are about to climb into bed together, just for a quickie.

3x23 -

Red: Aram… set him up with someone, for God’s sake. He’s like a kid with his first erection on the school bus.

4x7 -

Red: My sympathies to your significant other. And if your flag is flying at half mast, rest assured, I find in the privacy of one’s boudoir, pleasing others is the key to pleasing oneself.

4x14 -

Red: Oh, my goodness. This is tedious. I’d give almost anything to have a scratch. But seeing as how, given your profession, David, you might be more inclined to squeeze them rather than scratch them, I won’t impose. I’ll just wait for the next break.

David: Forget having your testicles scratched. You’ve been castrated.

4x20 -

Red: Baldur, you and I are deal-makers. We buy low and sell high. Getting that cruise line on the cheap was better than sex with your mistress. Either of them. I’m a little down on my luck. A penny stock. Invest in me now and when I rise, you’ll be able to afford three mistresses.

4x22 -

Red: I do wonder what else Donald’s men will find in your nightstand. Are you a vibrator kind of gal, Laurel? We’ll see.

5x1 -

Car guy: How’d she do? Red: Like Bergita Olofson in her parents’ rumpus room on a Saturday night.

5x2 -

Cooper: No, he’s playing grab-ass by the pool between naps and happy hour.

5x10 -

Isaacson: Bite me. Red: Hmm. A woman after my own heart.

5x12 -

Red: Joro spiders. In Japanese folklore, the joro is said to be able to change its appearance to that of a beautiful woman who seduces men, binding them in her web before devouring them. Hence its name “joro-gumo,” or “whore spider.”

5x13 -

Red: Imagine the confidence a man has to have in his own genitals to take on a nickname like “Big Willie.”

5x15 -

Red: Yes. Very impressive. What a gymnasium - a real shrine to athleticism. I can just feel the testosterone.

Fagen: You promised me a sure thing, gives me Viagra, and all I have to show for it is a four-hour erection.

[deleted scene]

Smokey: You’re a sucker, Red.  Everyone thinks you’re soooo tough with the hat and the shades and the people you kill but I know better.  Circus folk know a sucker when we see one.  You’re a sucker.  You’re a sucker for the pets, you’re a sucker for Heddie. And God knows why, you’re even a sucker for me. Red: I suppose I am.   Smokey: Well, that’s good for me. I’ll follow you anywhere. Red: Well, let's start in the back. I believe we have some cash to count.

5x19 -

Red: This apartment. Right here. Oh. My God. To have been the proverbial fly on Clyde Tolson’s duvet. Liz: Clyde Tolson lived here? J. Edgar Hoover’s lover? Red: This was their secret hideaway. Imagine the conversations. Cooing over JFK’s lovers. Slandering Dr. King. What peignoir to wear to bed. When I saw the apartment was for sale, I couldn’t resist. Liz: You own the apartment where the homophobic head of the FBI carried on his affair with his boyfriend? Red: Allegedly. I wouldn’t admit this in mixed company, but J. Edgar and I have a surprising amount in common. For instance, we both always get our man.

5x21 -

Red: I’ve heard steroids make your penis shrink. Have you found that to be the case?

Liz: Gonzalez called you. Red: His guard, actually. We developed something of a bond.

6x2 -

Red: Through five marriages, numerous lovers, allegedly both male and female.

Red: Cary Grant once said after a particularly evocative LSD trip, “I imagined myself as a giant penis launching off from Earth - “like a spaceship.”

6x4 -

Red: Baldomero, what do you say we call this whole thing off? What happened in Iztapalapa was a terrible mistake. I regret it dearly, and I had no idea she was your mother. Baldomero: You were in my bed. There was a picture of me on the nightstand. Red: Okay, in our defense, it was incredibly dark, and we’d been drinking heavily. Honestly, I regret the entire weekend. Of course, don’t tell your mother that.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Roadkill- Part 2

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,082

Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, language, angst, minor character death, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. If you’re a junkie for this sort of thing, then a tag list is the right thing for you! If you want to be a Queen, I’ll add you to that list too! Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

As Molly lead the way to the Cabin, Sam was talking to her to keep her busy and you were trailing behind with Dean, looking up at him.

“How are we going to break it to her? If she acted this way when she found out we were hunters, how do you think she’ll react to the fact that she’s dead?” You whispered.

“I know but right now, one problem at a time. Here,” Dean said, reaching into the bag and handing you a shotgun with rocksalt bullets. You smiled and took the gun, checking it over, before bringing it to your side.

“This is it. This is where I saw him.” Molly said, stopping as she pointed to a cabin that didn’t look too friendly. You walked up to the door and peered inside, seeing vicious tools hanging from the ceiling and a bloodstained table.

“Must have been his hunting cabin.” You stated.

“Huh. Seemed like a real sweet guy.” Dean said from behind you, looking inside.

“No markers or headstones outside.” Sam said after he finished a quick look around the place.

“You’re looking for Greeley’s grave? Why?” Molly asked.

“So we can dig up his bones and salt and burn them.” You said, not sugarcoating it at all.

“Oh. Sure, naturally.” Molly said with a small scoff.

“It's a way to get rid of a spirit.” Sam said.

“And that will save David?”

“Well, this is what will help the both of you, provided there is a corpse to be found.” You said, walking closer to her.

“So, how do we find it?” Molly asked determined.

“I'm not sure. After Greeley died, his wife claimed the body and that was the last anyone saw of her. So, good guess she brought him back here. But they had a thousand acres. He could be buried anywhere on them.” Sam said with a sigh.

“So, this is really what you guys do? You're like Ghostbusters?”

“That’s one way of putting it but we’re the real deal. We’re not Ed and Harry if you know what I mean.” You chuckled at the memory of the Ghostfacers. You kind of missed those two gentlemen.

“No, I don’t.” She said, shuffling.

“This is a fascinating conversation and all, but this highway is only haunted once a year, and we got till sun-up to wrap this thing up. What do you say we move it along, okay? Great.” Dean said, patting your shoulder and walked ahead of you, leading the way around the property.

“Ed and Harry were these two amateur ghost hunters that didn’t know what they were doing.” You said to Molly, following the brothers.

“I wonder what happened to those two.” Sam said, looking at you but you shrugged.

“So, what are we looking for?” Molly asked.

“Greeley’s house. We think he might be buried there. Why don’t you look for paths or something that’s close by. You don’t want to go too far from us.” You said with a smile.

“Yeah, okay.” She said with a sigh. She started walking and all was silent and before you knew it, she was calling out her husband’s name in a panic, running away from the group.

“Molly!” You exclaimed, looking at the brothers. You heard her scream and you didn’t wait for them to follow you. You rushed over to her and saw Greeley who had a hold of her. You raised your shotgun and shot the taller spirit, making him go away.

“Hey are you alright?” You asked, rushing to her.

“What has that son of a bitch done with my husband?” Molly demanded, getting more tears.

“Just take it easy, alright? You're gonna see David again. You will.” You promised her. She nodded and you looked up when you saw Sam rushing to you with a look of concern on his face.

“Is she okay?”

“Yeah, I took care of it. Come on, Molly.” You took her back to Dean who looked back at the group.

“Hey, follow the creepy brick road.” Dean stated, pointing out a path in front of him. You let go of Molly and walked to Dean, letting her be with Sam.

“What’s that gun loaded with anyway?” Molly asked you as she caught up. Sam was behind her to make sure nothing snuck up behind them.

“Rocksalt. It keeps the spirits away. In most cultures, salt's a symbol of purity, so it repels impure and unnatural things. Same reason you throw it over your shoulder.” You informed. You rounded a corner and came upon a creepy ass house.

“You know, just once I'd like to round the corner and see a nice house.” Dean said with a sigh.

“Come on, you scared?” You grinned, teasing him. You walked ahead of them and entered the house, looking around the place. Sam entered with Molly but Dean stayed outside, looking around for what you assumed was a headstone. When he came back in, you looked at him.

“Any headstones outside?”

“Yeah, right. Is it ever that easy?” Dean asked. You sighed and shrugged, looking away from him.

“I wish it were sometimes.”

“How about you take Molly upstairs to see if you can find anything and Sam and I will check down here and see if we can find some sign of a headstone.” Dean said. You nodded and took Molly upstairs, walking into a room that was filled with scattered papers.

“Awesome.” You said with a sigh, walking inside and started to look through the mess.

“Hey, look at this,” Molly said. You turned around to see her with a scrapbook. You walked to the bed in the room and sat down with her, looking at the pictures and its contents. “It's Greeley and his wife. Look, this one had a love letter that he wrote her. My god, it's beautiful. I don't understand how a guy like this can turn into that monster.”

“Listen, Greeley may not have been all that bad. See, spirits are like wounded animals, for example. They get lost and they are in so much pain that they lash out.” You said, looking at her.

“Why? Why are they here?”

“Well, some part of them thinks they have unfinished business which keeps them here. 9 out of 10 times, it’s their bones but sometimes they latch onto an object or a memory that can keep them here if their bones are gone.” You said, hoping she might understand about herself.

“What do you mean, unfinished business?”

“It could be revenge or love or hate. But, whatever it may be, they just hold onto that so tight that they fear of letting go of the thing that they know. They get caught in time loops, replaying the same tragedies over and over again.” You hoped she would open her eyes for just a minute to see her situation.

“You sound almost sorry for them.” She observed. You stood up and sighed, continuing looking for something else.

“Can’t help it sometimes. I read about these people’s lives before they died and most of them were good people. But then they die and it’s sad to see them change into something they aren’t. My mom died when I was a kid and now I wonder where she is and if she’s okay or if she’s living out some tragedy that she can’t control.”

Your mind went back to what Meg said about your mom being in Hell but that can’t be. Your mom was a good person. She should be in Heaven where she would be happy all the time, maybe hanging out with grandma and grandpa. You hoped that Meg was lying.

“Y/N and I are very different people because I don’t like them and I am sure as hell not making apologies for them,” Dean said from the doorway with Sam behind him. You looked at him with sad eyes and you sighed, looking away from him. “There was nothing downstairs. You find anything up here?”

“We found a photo album but nothing about a grave.” You said, turning your body around and leaning on the desk. Dean nodded and started searching the walls as if he saw something the rest didn’t.

“I’m sorry about your mom.” Molly said, looking at you.

“I’m sorry about you.” You said, not realizing what you said.

“What?”

“I mean, I’m sorry that you’re in this situation. I can’t imagine if I ever lost Dean. I love him so much.” You said quietly to her, looking at Dean who kept looking at the same wall with a frown.

“What is it?” Sam asked, seeing the same frown as you.

“There is something behind this wall,” Dean stated. He tossed Sam his flashlight to make both of his hands available. Sam provided the light as Dean moved a cabinet aside, revealing a small hidden door. He pushed on it but it wouldn’t budge.

“It’s locked from the inside.” Dean observed, turning to face you and leaning against the wall, bracing himself to kick it down. He swiftly kicked it once but it wouldn’t budge. He frowned, shocked that this didn’t work on the first try. Dean tried it again and the door fell inward.

“Wow, must be the secret attic,” You joked, following the brothers inside the room. You coughed at the smell, it being very potent. “It smells like old lady in here.” You looked around with your flashlight and gasped, seeing a corpse hanging by the neck from the ceiling.

“And that would explain why. Well, now we know why nobody ever saw her again.” Sam said, grimacing.

“Whoa, I guess she didn’t want to live without him.” Molly said once she crawled inside the room. Sam looked around and grabbed a chair as if he wanted to take her down.

“Dean, give me a hand.”

“Really?” Dean asked, looking at Sam as he climbed the chair.

“What are you doing?” Molly asked.

“We can't leave her like this.” Sam said, as if this was the right thing to do.

“Why not?” Dean asked.

“Dean, don’t be insensitive.” You said, hitting him lightly in the arm.

“She needs to be put to rest, Dean.” Sam said, beginning to cut through the ropes as Dean reluctantly held the corpse to steady it.

“Son of a bitch.” Dean muttered, grimacing.

“Don’t be a baby, Dean. She won’t hurt you.” You said, an amused smile on your face. He glared at you but didn’t say a thing. Once Sam got her down, Dean let Sam take her and you four managed to get her out of the tiny room and outside where Sam and Dean started to dig a grave for her.

“So... So, if you manage to put Greeley to rest, too... What happens to them?” Molly asked. You bit your lip, not having an answer for her. You never knew where they went after they died.

“Lady, that answer is way beyond our pay grade.” Dean said, grunting as he dug.

“You hunt these things, but you don't know what happens to them?”

“Well, they never come back. That's all that matters.” Dean shrugged. You looked at her and you knew that answer didn’t satisfy her.

“After they let go of whatever's keeping them here, they just go. I hope someplace better, but we don't know. No one does.” You said, looking at Sam who agreed with you.

“What happens when you burn their bones?” Molly asked.

“Umm... Well, my dad used to say that was like death for ghosts, you know? But, the truth is, we still don't know. Not for sure. Guess that's why we all hold on to life so hard. Even the dead. We're all just scared of the unknown.” Sam said, giving the digging a rest.

Him and Dean laid Greeley’s wife inside and buried her where she should belong.

“The only thing I'm scared of is losing David. I have to see him again. I have to.” Molly said with a sad sigh.

“Look, when I make a promise, I keep them and I promise you that you will see him. But we have to deal with Greeley first.” You said, looking at Sam and Dean.

“Come on, there has to be more in that house that we’re missing.” Dean said, leading the group back into the house and back into the room with the photo album. Speaking of, Molly was holding it, looking through it as she paced the room.

The Queens:

@maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith  @mogaruke @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @roxyspearing @supercalifragilistic26 @mishamigose @cobrakai1967 @essie1876 @wishedworld @crispychrissy @laqueus-ludovicus @nostalgic-uncertainty @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @potterhead1265 @starswirlblitz @untitled39887 @ta-n-ja @deans-fallen-angel-boy @scarletluvscas @notnaturalanahi @tahbehonest @stay-in--place​ @dreaminofdean @posiemax​ @donnaintx​ @mikey1822​ @alexandriajanae4​ @li-ssu​ @just-another-winchester​ @obsessivecompulsivespn​ @emoryhemsworth​ @newtospnfandom​ @mizzezm​ @goldenolaf25​ @jessikared97​

The Dean Beans:

@akshi8278​ @mega-mrs-dean-winchester​ @winchesterandpie​ @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester​ @carribear31​ @tacklesackles​ @oreosatmidnight​ @not-naturalfangirl​ @missselinakitty​ @iam-a-cutiepie​  @kristendansmith​ @milo-winchester-4ever​ @jensenackesl​ @codyshany316​ @pheonyxstorm​ @helllonearth​ @juniorhuntersam​ @pouterpufftrain​ @ruprecht0420​ @shut-ur-face-and-get-in-the-car @carriemichelle2012​ @aubreystilinski​

Series Rewrite Junkies:

@helllonearth​ @amyisabellal​ @deanwnchstr​ @caseykitten6​ @quixoticcat​ @supernaturalblogging​ @notmoose45​  @crowleysminion​ @mina22​ @tahbehonest​ @hadleymcallister2177 @destielsangels​ @spnhybrid @oreosatmidnight​ @valerieshubin​ @seninjakitey​ @flyonlittlewinchester​  @aubreystilinski​ @rocketqueeens​ @emilygracespellins​

[serenity-sweet13]

Gotham S2E20

Harvey Bullock is asking the real fucking questions. How in the world does it take a putz like Harvey Bullock to ask the real fucking questions!? Of course they fucking shredded everything! 

Okay, as a Georgia resident, when I hear “Pinewood” I think of the Walking Dead studio, so yeah “bad guys come in and monsters come out” is kinda perfect, cos the actual studio may or may not be where the Sanctuary set is, so it’s kinda like a parallel with Negan.

Yeah, Harvey? This is never gonna be over--- whoops there’s only 5 seasons, right? No, seriously, how the hell are they gonna wrap this mother up?

Ed’s been loose for like an episode and a half now and... okay, I’ve pulled the “got lost” excuse and I’ve done it better! That’s... kinda pathetic, dude. Ed, buddy, nothing but love, but you need to start lifting and work on your excuses.

Also, what the hell is with all the Catholocism in Gotham... and wow, Father, that attitude is fucking priestly of you. Yeah, I can see it, though. Hey Jim? If you’re ever out of something to do, I bet there’s about 200 years worth of allegations in all these fucking Catholic churches. Whoop! Did I get too real too fast there for a second? TOO BAD!!!

Seriously, Oswald, you need like a stuffed animal or something if you’re just gonna monologue.

I can’t fucking believe BD Wong was at DragonCon and I just fucking now started watching Gotham.

Oh my god no! Harvey Bullock is the Uncle Friend! He definitely does not want to be in charge and he definitely should not be in charge! “Halloween costume”!? Excuse me. As a dedicated cosplayer... Yeah, weirder and weirder. Okay, that logic is sound - “If he bleeds, he can be beaten.” Great, Harvey, now you have a goddamn mob like in Beauty and the Beast. Nice going, putz.

I LOVE ALFRED’S FUCKING DIALOGUE!

Gotta love ChaGood Little Shit Bruce.

“He’s right, you know!”

ALFRED’S FUCKING DIALOGUE!

Oh god Gilzean... I feel so fucking bad for this guy. He is the legal definition of “putz” and everything keeps fucking happen. OH GOD HARVEY WHY... They have Medieval Times in Gotham!? Oh god Tabitha don’t tell me you believe this fucking horseshit. Yep, Jim. “Ancient assassin, my ass!”

Guys, stop digging up fucking dead people.

Oh god that evokes imagery of fucking Pigeon Man.

Selina... HOW DID YOU STRAIGHTEN YOUR HAIR.

Bruce, you at least need to be buying this girl hella level desserts. Chocolate is the way to a girl’s heart.

Selina, you’re a ChaGood little shit too. I love her relationship with Bridgit. Girls supporting girls is a fucking mood. GOD BRUCE BROKE OUT THE BETCHACAN’T???? Argh, the best way to get these two little shits off their back pockets is imply something can’t be one. Tell them “betcha can’t”... of course she already knows a way in.

SERIOUSLY WITH THE CATHOLIC IMAGERY! Key, crowbar. Yeah, hey subtitle people? Those aren’t mice squeaking. Those are rats. They’re still cute little rodents, but they deserve the dignity of you getting it right. Oh, Harvey... It’s not grave robbing... It’s... um... archaeology? Is it old enough to be archaeo--- nah, you’re right it’s grave robbing. Unless it’s in the line of duty... evidence retrieval and like that, right?

Dude, Jim, there are better prop swords at fucking Party City.

He gon stab her. Yep, he totally gon stab her. Tabitha that is not an intelligent thing to do. Now you’re gonna die and Barbara’s gonna go another two tons of crazy! Do we want that? No. Ewwwww these two are way closer than siblings should be. Like, Are You Afraid of the ------ oh who the fuck let this family fucking have dogs!? oh yeah, he gonna stab her. No he doesn’t remember. I mean, he kinda remembers, but not really. Oh fuck he does remember.

Yep, he fucking stabbed her. I didn’t even KINDA see that coming - that was a goddamn given.

Thank God for Netflix.

Seriously, I want to know how this girl straightened her hair. Did Bruce get her a straightener? Did Alfred give Bruce a straightener to give to her? Hair doesn’t just do that, especially not with a goddamn beanie like that!

Okay, Jim Gordon and Ed Nygma have the actual best outerwear I have seen since Alucard and Aoshi Shinomori.

Carjacking in the name of righteousness! I dig it.

Maybe I should be making YouTube videos where I read all this shit out. I have a goddamn melodious voice. Wow, when I talk nice about myself, I swear a lot.

Selina is making me want to climb shit like I did when I was a kid. Fetch me the closest PF Chang’s horse! Stop the world... I WANT TO GET ON! Except I really don’t want to... yep, that’s why I didn’t want to be in there. That’s really fucking gross. And again, subtitle people - that is a RAT, not a mouse. Somewhere Vincent Price shakes his fist at you.

Oh god. Bruce? You might have lost your father, but now you have at least two dads. Alfred and Jim? You got Royal Marine Dad and Officer Dad. Also, Alfred? you owe Selina a big fat apology. Like, get her something really goddamn nice for Xmas. And a handwritten note. An entire Lush selection...

Oh god Ed and Cat. This is hysterical...

Oh god... Ed still has this fundamental desire to help people. OH GOD THAT WAS THE BITCH-PLEASE FACE OF THE AGES! THORIN OAKENSHIELD COULD NOT HAVE MATCHED SELINA KYLE’S LITTLE BITTY BITCH-PLEASE FACE!

God, I feel the actual worst for Gilzean. This guy’s been through too much. Can somebody fetch this guy a shot and a beer? And maybe a fuzzy bathrobe and fifteen cats? Seriously, Butch needs to do a Falcone and retire into the suburbs with a bunch of cats and a knitting group or something. Again with the giant bag of weed over here!?

Seriously Oswald. You need ACTUAL therapy. Like, somewhere Allan Arbus, as Dr. Sidney Freedman with the two E’s, is looking down from heaven and shaking his head. “Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice - pull down your pants, and slide on the ice.”

Well, there’s Bruce with his co-dads again. And they both drive like bloody maniacs. AWW BRUCE YOU SWEET LITTLE SHIT AND YOU ALMOST CAUSED ALFRED TO FUCKING SHOOT HIMSELF!! You seriously sweet little shit. no. no do not split up. AGAIN WITH THIS SCOOBY DOO NONSENSE! SHAGGY FROWNS AT YOU! LIKE ZOINKS THIS IS A GODDAMN BAD IDEA! JINKIES IT’S FUCKING AZRAEL!

Who could’ve seen that fucking coming.

no fuck you Azrael fucker. You do not get to say “As you wish” - you are the wrong Man in Black.

Yep, and Ed’s loose. Oh my god and he pulled the high school escape? DUDE I COULD SNEAK OUT OF MY HOUSE BETTER THAN THAT WHEN I WAS SELINA’S AGE! I used to roll a d20 for Stealth.

Oh that elevator makes me nervous on so many levels. Hehehehehehehe that was funnier than I intended it to be.

Oh god Bruce. No. Also Alfred no. Also Azrael no. MOTHER FUCK NOT THE GODDAMN PARLOR! THERE’S FUCKING ANTIQUES IN THERE! and we get to see Alfred swordfighting... NOT THE VASE!! jeez, watch the antique telephone! And whatever that was you broke. And now the goddamn window. Oh please, Bruce, you know he’s probably fine. That guy’s British. He’ll be in good spirits and fit as a fiddle two years after he’s dead!

and Cat is stuck to the fucking ceiling. Gimme a cucumber, somebody, I wanna try something.

Oh jeez. Ed was right. That is fucking horrible. There is something very Shutter Island about all this stuff.

Also, Bruce, you’re about as sneaky as an avalanche. If nothing else, use what you’ve got. Go West Side Story on his ass and turn on every one of those car lights. It’s been known to work, right? THERE WE GO! HIT HIM WITH THE GODDAMN CAR! You lucky little fuck, being tall enough at 13 to hit the stupid pedals... are you fucking kidding me. Somebody seriously just plug this guy in the motherfucking head! YOU DO NOT GET TO SAY PREPARE TO DIE THAT IS TWICE YOU HAVE ABUSED YOUR PRINCESS BRIDE REFERENCES AND YOU GO JIM - EMPTY THAT CLIP IN THE MOTHAFUCKA!

Yep, both dads.

Oh for fuck’s sake. MARY AND JOSEPH JUST GODDAMN SET HIM ON FIRE!

Oh for fuck’s sake... Where did this motherfucker come from!? Oswald, what the fuck even!? BUTCH FOUND THE ROCKET LAUNCHER! Okay, do we have one less motherfucker now?!

If you start singing, I’ll throw up.

You go Butch. Four for you Glen Coco you go Glen Coco and none for Gretchen Wieners bye!

Crikey, Ed. You SERIOUSLY need to join a gym.

Pupper is the goodest boy. Good boy catch crazy Ed. Good boy.

Oh god. Bridgit. Oh no. No no no no no. IT’S WHO THE HELL IS BUCKY ALL OVER AGAIN! NO NO NO NO NO!!!! Your name is Bridgit Pike. You were a sweet little girl and Selina was your friend and she loves you and noooooooooo!!!

[s3venpounds]

1-64. 65 What is the worst thing you have ever done to a friend?

65 questionsssssssssss yeeeeeeeeee boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii letsss fucking goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo thanks for the ask btw! also sorry for late reply

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

honestly sometimes, the whole “ life is a simulation” got me kinda scared ya never know

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

1. because im not afraid of the dark im afraid of what can be in it that im not aware of

3. The person you would never want to meet?

idk. cuz if i say someone i hate then i can’t physically meet them to punch them

4. What is your favorite word?

love

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

idk whichever lives for millions of years i wanna be like those giant ass trees that you see in animes that are like whole cities wide

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

should i finally cut my hair? or do i perservere

7. What shirt are you wearing?

my ed sheeran concert shirt

8. What do you label yourself as?

someone with the capacity of good but chooses to be an asshole

9. Bright room or dark room?

bright room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

seeing if my new friends were playing games so i can join

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

21

12. Who told you they loved you last?

off the top of my head? my mom pretty sure. 

13. Your worst enemy?

myself, my fears, hesitation and past mistakes?

14. What is your current desktop picture?

its a picture of hinata shoyo from Haikyuu!! doing a spike with wings on his back!

15. Do you like someone?

yes.

16. The last song you listened to?

Jacob Lee Slip

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

trump

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

trump. and i want like brass knuckles when i punch. 

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

probably a volleyball coach/ trainer or a professional volleyball player to just drill basics into me and make me a better player. (that or just gal gadot to like help me clean up my life and give me life advice)

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

i guess my energy? its a fucking mess though cuz sometimes i get tired after like 4 minutes of activity but then sometimes i get like a second wind and i just go for hours 

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

i mean there was that snapchat trend of every guy making a female version of themselves so i guess theres that. i would definitely try anything i could. periods, cramps, catcalls, masturbating anything i could so i truly understand what women have to go through every day of their lives

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

im a very open person so most of my obscure talents are known but i am kinda proud of how i can name pokemon by just hearing their cries limited to like the first 3 generations tho lmao

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

what happens after we die

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

i wanna make the most bougie sandwich in the world. I want abelone, puffin, black truffle, caviar, just all that super high end shit

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

save it. im going on a trip somewhere out of the city and i could use the extra pocket money

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

venice italy. no question.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

oh shit booze! i love me some booze! i guess it would have to be like smirnoff kissed caramel vodka, or this one whiskey i saw a video of irish people drinking american whiskeys

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

dont be a fucking dickhead idk. i can’t make concrete rules cuz theres loopholes

29. What is your favorite expletive?

definitely fuck just because i say it more than actual normal words

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

haha “loved ones” lmao. oh uhhh my letters from D.O when we were kids. that or my journal

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

my dads abuse. oh wait no then thats free forgiveness for him lmao no uhhh one of my past relationships. it was a mess and i still struggle a little with it

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Venice italy. that or greece or rome idk. i really like their aesthetic with small white houses, small walkways and all that

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

Steve irwin or Robin williams. or just to make a couple people near me happy, Kyle Fundytus

34. What was your last dream about?

uhhh I kissed the person I’m currently interested in. not just a normal dream too I felt everything. it was crazy. Felt, their hands, warmth, lips, body against mine and even their skin it was just magical.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

boyfriend? honestly? idk. i’d like to think that i am but from what I know apparently im not

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

yes and no? i guess? i had one of those shots you give to enfants when their family is moving to a new country and i still have the scar so possibly? i mean technically any baby born in a hospital has been admitted to one lmao

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

YES AND SOME OLDER KIDS BROKE IT DOWN AND USED IT AS A BENCH . I fought them and got sent tot he principals office

38. What is the color of your socks?

im not wearing any.... but i do have a favourite pair of green ones that have a print of pringles sour cream n onion on it!

39. What type of music do you like?

Jazz, big band, kpop, RNB, rap, rock, swing music, electro...? sort of?

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

i can’t choose, I love both and have fond memories of both

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Vanilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa maybe some caramel in it

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

uhh i dont know much about football but i can say i would support my local team edmonton eskimos

43. Do you have any scars?

a ton! i love em! its like the sentimental stuff i keep in my closet but on my body and i always trace my finger over them whenever im just in the mood to reminisce

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

im not currently taking the courses i need to get my dream job but i’d love to be a power ranger either the stunt double or the cheesy actor. that or a school councilor

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

how dependant i am on others. i hate it. if i was alone i dont think i’d survive. i need other people

46. Are you reliable?

I like to think that i am though again, you’d have to ask my friends

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Did you find her?

48. Do you hold grudges?

hell.yes. if you couldnt tell i reallllllllllly hate my dad. like really.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

whatever animals it takes to make dragons a thing again

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

I would have to say when this random stranger came up to me to complain about the transit system because the one in vancouver was so much better apparently. dude went on a 20 minute rant and i just drowned him out with music and pretended to “pause” my music while nodding like i understood

51. Are you a good liar?

not sure. I think i am considering my parents dont know half the shit i did AHEHEHEHE

52. How long could you go without talking?

couple days. long as i got my music.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

god there was this one christmas where my parents gave me like a stereotypical suburban kid hair cut where the whole head is like flattened with hair gel the at the forehead its just a tall wall of spiked hair. BUT HERES THE KICKER. they dyed half the wall red and half green for christmas. god it was awful

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

does cheesecake cupcakes count?

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

ive been told i can do a good russian one, chinese too

56. What do you like on your toast?

nutella omg. fresh toast with gooey nutella? god its so good

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

uhmmm some secret stuff for a friends personal project

58. What would be you dream car?

Dodge Viper

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I love singing in the shower when no ones home. I can only sing when no ones home cuz the walls in this house are thin AS FUCK. 

60. Do you believe in aliens?

i believe we’re not the only ones out here but due to how we’re literally killing our own kind and planet for no good reason they choose to ignore us

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

yep! all the time! whenever i get my hands on the local paper i read my horoscope while i wait on the train or if theres a horoscope thing on tumblr!

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

X idk x is just cool

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons are you kidding me? dragons are dinosaurs that can fly. AND BREATHE FIRE

64. What do you think about babies?

I dont think im a good father figure but spending time with kids is a pretty okay time for me long as its not long term lmao 

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

What is the worst thing you have ever done to a friend?

I punched them full force in the stomach for calling me emo. it was a bad day but lo and behold that person became my best friend loooooooooooool