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candidcreature-blog1 · 7 years ago

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Unexpected Goodbye

Billy Hargrove x Female Reader

Summary: What could you have done differently? What could you have said to change the outcome? Was this all your fault? Looking back on your relationship with Billy, you try to pinpoint where it all went wrong. You try to pinpoint exactly where you lost him.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex

Word count: 5.3k

Read: Prologue

a/n: i can’t believe the first chapter is done. i feel like it took me forever. i read over it a million times, i’m happy to finally be posting it, lol. sorry it’s kinda long in this story, the reader likes to write and sketch, so i wanted to include some billy art i’ve found on tumblr that i love. the digital painting below is by @teenmomsteve. the original post is here. also you should check out her new etsy account. show her some love with a like and a reblog!!! ♥

—Chapter 1—

The day that Billy Hargrove arrived in Indiana, Hawkins was never the same. Hawkins High could talk of absolutely nothing else. All you heard walking down the halls that day was Billy this, and Billy that. The topic of him completely empowered any discussion at lunch. Doodles of his name cluttered the corners of all the girls’ notebooks. There was an eruption of giggles whenever he would walk by and wink at a group of girls. He was handsome. He was charming. He was mysterious. Every guy wanted to be him and every girl wanted to be with him. And everyone was asking the same questions about him. Where did he come from? Why did he move? How long would he stay? But most importantly, who would he date?

Steve and Billy’s big fight was almost a hotter topic than Billy himself. Of course, you heard about it. Everyone heard. The problem is, you didn’t really know how it happened. Everyone told the story differently. However, in every version of the story, Billy won. You assumed that that was probably the truth, given the condition of Steve’s face when he finally showed up at school. But the most amusing version of the story you heard was where Steve pulled a gun on Billy and pulled the trigger. Luckily, with Billy’s excellently swift feet, and his black belt in karate to prepare him for such a moment, he was able to dodge the bullet and seize the gun, getting it far out of Steve’s reach. After which, he pummeled Steve’s face in. That was a bit of a stretch, but you got a good laugh out of it.

The boy quickly rose to the top of the food chain as the King of Hawkins High. Surrounded by the coolest boys at school, people were practically jumping out of their way as they walked the halls together, making a ruckus all the way down. Girls made every attempt to get his attention. Guys puffed out their chests for the sake of their own dignity. But you, knowing that nothing good could come of giving in to Billy, had decided to keep your distance. When you saw him coming down the hall, you would walk the other way. When he made jokes in class, you would be the only one not to laugh.

You deemed yourself successful in all of your efforts to avoid him. But there was one, cold, December morning, that stuck out in your memory, where you had failed.

You were going about your daily routine, nothing out of the ordinary. Your best friend walked by your side as the two of you headed to your homeroom class. It was hard to remember exactly what you were discussing, but you remember laughing and shaking your head at her. The laughter must have let your guard down because you didn’t see him up ahead. You turned your head just far enough to the right to lock eyes with his. He was leaned against his locker, hands in his jean pockets. Surprisingly, this time, he wasn’t surrounded by his usual posse, he wasn’t flirting with everything that had boobs, and he wasn’t making all the noise in the world, trying to draw attention to himself. But what surprised you the most was that he didn’t look away. Neither did you. The intangible contact hit you like a ton of bricks, but still, you held it. You felt an uncomfortable twinge in your chest. You were taken back to the night of the Halloween party.

The memories flooded your mind.

“That boy is something else,” she said as she shook her head in disbelief, biting her lip. Elaine Thompson was mesmerized by his glistening abdomen underneath the black leather jacket. You and she had been dancing since the party started and were taking a break near the punch bowl in the kitchen. All she could do was openly ogle at him from afar. You glanced over at him as he danced amidst the sweaty bodies in the living room. His chest really was mesmerizing… But you pretended not to care. You knew if you stared too long, it would be dangerously difficult to look away. You took a sip of punch and decided to purposefully look absolutely anywhere else.

Elaine took notice of your intentionality and looks over at you. “You know, it really wouldn’t kill you to admire the view. I mean, everyone else is.”

You smile and poke fun at her. “Don’t you know, it’s impolite to stare.”

“Oh, whatever!” She hits you playfully. “Besides,” she added with a wink, “You look hot. He’d be lucky to catch you staring at him.”

You decided to dress up as Alex Owens from Flashdance. The costume would be fairly laid back, and you already had most of what you needed in your closet. You chose a long, heather gray sweatshirt that landed just above your mid thigh. It hung in such a way that enticingly exposed your left shoulder. You wore the perfect red pointed heels and had to wear tights to cover your legs in the cold weather. You accessorized with a bangle and earrings that dangled. For your lips, you chose a soft red color and teased your hair to match hers. You had to admit: You looked good, and you felt even better.

“I guess, I do look pretty good.” You both giggle. “But I’m sure Billy has a hundred other girls on his radar. There’s no way he would notice little ol’ me.” You say this with a feigned air of innocence that made Elaine roll her eyes and reach for more punch. “Plus, I don’t think I would catch his eye, standing next to you anyway.”

Elaine didn’t put much thought into her costume this year. But still wanting to turn heads, she did just that. She wore a black leotard with fishnet tights and a black coat to keep her warm. Atop her head were a pair of bunny ears, and below her back, a bunny’s tail. Make-up simply done, her curls flowed freely beside her face.

She looks down at her costume, and then back at yours. “Fair point.” Your gaping mouth made her laugh. She places her hand on her hip and jokingly says, “I guess, I should leave then.”

Elaine sips her drink and turns to walk away, but something stops her. She looks over in Billy’s direction and freezes, the cup still up to her mouth. “Oh my god. Don’t look now, but he’s staring at you.”

You froze. You couldn’t believe your ears. Was Billy staring at you? Maybe you weren’t hearing her correctly. She was talking with a cup in her mouth after all.

“What?”

“You heard me! He’s staring at you! He’s staring right at you!” She continues to muffle into the cup, then quickly glances down so as to not give the two of you away.

“There’s no way he’s looking at me.”

Elaine sneaks a glance back at him and lets out a sigh. “Okay, he’s not looking anymore.”

You sigh of relief as well and try to dismiss the topic. “I’m sure he was looking at the girl behind me or something.”

As if on cue, you hear a sound behind you that makes both of you cringe. The two of you slowly turn around. Jessica Miller was bent over the kitchen sink, clutching her stomach, hurling everything she had eaten and drank that night.

“Yeah. He was definitely looking at the girl behind you,” Elaine remarks.

As soon as she whips back around, she lets out a small gasp. “He’s looking at you again!” She cocks her head to the side a bit and chuckles. “And he is not being shy about it.”

You try to look busy by pretending to be intensely interested in your cup, trying to move your lips as little as possible, lest he thinks you’re having a conversation with your beverage. You desperately ask your friend what you should do.

“Look back at him!”

Glancing down at your hands, fidgeting with them, you contemplate taking her advice. Of course, you wanted to look back at him. The hottest boy in Hawkins was looking you up and down. All of the girls were vying for his affection, and he was looking at you. If this was any other girl, they would probably be in his arms right now. What was holding you back?

What did you have to lose?

Maybe it was this thought—and everything you had to drink that night—that gave you the confidence to look up.

You shoot your eyes up to meet his. You smile, matching his own.

And after that moment, the rest of the night felt like a dream.

As you and Billy danced, not a second went by where he didn’t have his hands on your hips or an arm around your shoulder. When he won a round of beer pong, for the eighth time in a row, it was you that he drunkenly grabbed to share a messy, celebratory kiss. The night was sprinkled with short, heated make-out sessions until Tommy dragged him away and off to win another party game. There was a moment when he hoisted you up on his shoulder as the crowd of people chanted his name. The smile on your face couldn’t be wider as you laughed, and you couldn’t be happier. You were also really drunk.

Toward the end of the night, you two were on the makeshift dance floor again when Billy started to get a little handsy. He pressed himself against your backside and let his hands wander. Normally, you wouldn’t allow behavior like that, but you were having too much fun, so you let it slide. After a minute or two, he leaned down to whisper in your ear. His voice was rough, deep, enticing. He suggested you two continue the party at his place.

Alone.

Your heart did black flips. You turn around to face him, biting your lip and nodding, giving him the answer he wanted.

You excuse yourself to use the restroom, but instead, run to find your best friend. When you found her, she was in a corner in the dining room, making out with Eric, one of the Johnson twins. Not sure of what to say, you grab her arm and yank her away, earning a disappointed look from him. Elaine just laughed. Her words came out in a slur. “That is the second twin I’ve made out with tonight!”

Oh, good. She was hammered too.

“You made out with Evan too?”

“Yeah… I think…” She looks back at Eric, squinting her eyes. She seemed as if she was thinking really hard about something. “I keep getting them confused.”

When she looks back at you, the two of you burst out into laughter. Trying to regain composure, you were dying to tell her what Billy just asked of you. Once you finally got the words out, she let out the most dramatic gasp, but then brought her words down to a whisper. “You’re going to give up your flower?” She seemed so shocked. “And with King Bad Boy. You’re a dirty girl.” Her eyebrows danced as she said this.

“Don’t call it that!” You scolded, although you couldn’t help a small chuckle from escaping your lips. “And don’t call him that.”

“What happened to all that talk about ‘waiting for the right one’ or ‘my prince will come, one day!’” Elaine had always made fun of you for that. She lost her virginity in eighth grade to Drew Davis, the class clown. He was cute. At the time.

You rolled your eyes, acting frustrated. “I might as well get it over with. I’m probably the only junior in school who hasn’t had sex yet. Plus, when am I going to have another opportunity like this? I mean, this is Billy we’re talking about!” If you were completely sober, you weren’t sure if you would go for this. But right now, you weren’t sober, and you wanted to go for it.

Elaine let out a throaty groan, “Ugh, I’ll bet he’s amazing in bed. Fuck, I am so jealous of you right now.”

“So… you think I should go?”

“Of course, I think you should go! Go, get your man!” Elaine gives you an encouraging shove and you smile. She began scanning the crowd, looking for Eric—or Evan—again. Walking away, she shouts, “You better not be too drunk to give me the details tomorrow!”

Your smile widened. This was unbelievable. You were going home with Billy Hargrove. Billy fucking Hargrove.

You run to the restroom to check your makeup before heading back to the spot where you left him. With every step you took, chills went up and down your spine. Your heart was beating faster and faster. You couldn’t tell if you were sweating because of all the dancing you’d done, or because of how nervous and excited you were. You finally arrive at your destination.

But Billy was nowhere to be seen.

Confused, you look around at the crowd, but you didn’t spot him. You ask people nearby, but everyone just shrugged and kept dancing. You decide to take a look through the house. You check the kitchen, the dining room, the restroom, the backyard, the front yard but you didn’t find him anywhere.

Spotting Tommy outside, you run over to him. He had his arm around Carol, laughing with a group of guys. If anyone knew where Billy was, it would be him.

“Figured he was with you.” He just smiled and winked. “You two have been attached at the hip all night. Didn’t think Billy was the type to get hooked so quickly, but maybe you’re special or something.” He took another drink of his beer like he hadn’t just said something that rocked your world, and turned his attention back to the guys. Immediately, you start beaming, and then Carol piped in.

“Actually, I saw him head upstairs earlier.” She wore a wide grin. “Maybe he just couldn’t wait to get you home.” Was she ever not chewing gum? Motioning her head to an upstairs window, she said, “You should head up there. I bet he’s waiting for you right now.”

Your heart still beating and your stomach in knots, you stared at the mountain before you. Who knew stairs could look like such an obstacle? You stumbled a bit as you climbed, having to hold the railing to make it to the stop safely, leaving the party behind you. On your right, you saw a restroom and the door to a bedroom. The door was ajar. It was wide enough to peer inside without moving too far. No Billy. On your left, there was a short hallway with three doors, two on the right, and one at the end.

You open the first door to reveal an office and no Billy. You open the second door that leads to a storage room and no Billy. It must be the last door. You step slowly toward the door. With your hand on the doorknob, you take a deep breath and turn it clockwise. Before you can open the door, you hear something that brings your world crashing down.

“Oh, Billy.”

You freeze. Pressing your ear to the door, you hear the unmistakable sounds of the creaking of a bed and a headboard slamming against the wall. And the continuous moans of one Jessica Miller. Incapable of hearing anymore, you turn away. Not sure of how to think or feel, you rush down the stairs and out the front door, desperate for fresh air. Looking up at the sky, you release a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding.

Honestly, what did you expect? He’s a bad boy. This is what bad boys do. They make you feel beautiful, wanted, and special. They bring you to the top of the world, just to bring you crashing down. They put you on a pedestal and make you feel like their one and only, and for what? Just to get in your pants? Unless of course, you’re not quick enough. Then he’ll just fuck the next girl in line.

You almost gag as you remember watching Jessica puking into the kitchen sink.

Looking back at the house, you see that the party inside is still alive. You should go back in and enjoy yourself. You shouldn’t let a boy ruin your whole night. But if you were being honest with yourself, all you wanted now was to be home.

Elaine was definitely too intoxicated to drive, and probably making out with one of the twins in the backseat of someone’s car anyway. Not in the mood to search for a ride, you head inside to grab your coat and begin the walk home. You barely make it fifteen minutes before taking your heels off. You shiver as your feet hit the icy sidewalk.

Almost frozen solid when you arrive home, you silently crept up the stairs so as to not wake your brother. Your parents were heavy sleepers. Your brother was the one you were really worried about.

You close the door to your bedroom behind you, toss your heels to the side, and crawl under the covers. It took you a second to realize you still had your coat on. Still shivering from the night, you decide to leave it on.

As you lay there, the highlights of the night replayed in your head. Dancing with Elaine. Locking eyes with Billy. Never leaving his side. Jessica moaning his name.

She probably puked again after that.

Your chest tightened as you felt embarrassment wash over you. You had fallen for that bad boy act that your parents had raised you to beware. Not to mention, just about the entire high school watched as you followed Billy around like a lost puppy. They all probably saw him take Jessica upstairs too, seemingly tossing you aside.

You heaved a heavy sigh and cleared your mind, grateful that sleep came fast and quick.

As you passed him in the hall, your eyes land on the floor. Then, you quickly turned to Elaine to see if she noticed. She was still continuing the previous conversation the two of you were having.

Just as you were about to turn the corner, you snuck a peek back at him. You watched the back of his denim jacket as he walked in the opposite direction.

After that day, you didn’t really see much of him anymore.

The rest of the school year was a blur filled with excessive studying and frequent visits to the library. Rumors and stories about Billy getting into fights or taking another girl home would still circle back to you, but they died down a few months before June. Elaine couldn’t stop talking about how excited she was for summer. She wanted to take a road trip up to Michigan City with you and Eric, to visit her grandparents for a week.

After the Halloween party, Eric and Elaine really hit it off. At first, you thought it was strange how comfortable Eric was with the fact that she made out with him and his brother. But as it turns out, he was the only twin she was with that night. Evan was sick at home with the flu. Now, they were dating. He treated her well, and you could tell that she was really happy.

You accompanied Elaine to the graduation ceremony to watch Eric walk across the stage. The ceremony was held in the gymnasium and there was no stage. But Elaine deemed it more formal to say “My boyfriend will be walking across the stage” than “My boyfriend will be walking across the gym.” While she was at it, she crowned you the designated picture taker. You didn’t mind. You actually found it to be a lot of fun. But if it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t have come. You weren’t too keen on seeing Billy walk across the stage to receive his diploma. Seeing him still made your heart flutter a bit, which annoyed you very much. You wondered if every other girl in Hawkins High felt that way when they saw him.

When his name was finally called, you watched him stand up from the front row of bleachers and walk toward the center to shake hands with the dean and receive his diploma. Strangely enough, there was no pep in his step as he walked. You thought about this for a moment, but then quickly brushed it off.

You wondered what was next for Billy Hargrove. There was no chance in hell he was going to stay in Hawkins. That boy was meant for the big city, not a small town. Everyone figured he would move back to California the day after he graduated. He probably already had everything packed and couldn’t wait to get out of Hawkins.

After the ceremony, you made sure to take plenty of photos of Eric and Elaine. She must have posed a hundred times before she was satisfied with all the silly photos of her and her boyfriend. The three of decided to celebrate at Bo’s Diner, inviting a few extra friends to tag along. You made sure to take more pictures there, per request of Elaine.

“You have a better eye for pictures than I do!” She exclaimed.

“I feel like you’re just telling me that so you can be in all the photos.”

She giggled but didn’t deny it.

Over the summer, Elaine’s plans to visit her grandparents came to fruition. Eric offered to use his car and Evan came along for the ride too. It was supposed to be some sort of double date thing that Elaine planned. You were open to the idea. Why not? However, Evan seemed a bit reluctant to go, and you quickly realized why. He was extremely shy. You could barely get the guy to open up. He would use one or two-word sentences as answers, so a conversation with him barely lasted a few minutes. It’s not like you were asking him about his deepest darkest secrets. You asked him about his hobbies or plans for the future. Occasionally, you would receive a shrug for an answer. After a while, you stopped trying, grateful that you had brought a book to keep you company on the four-hour drive. Needless to say, it wasn’t going to work out.

You remember writing a poem about how awkward you had felt.

As far as the actual trip went, you had a blast. You’d known Elaine since seventh grade but had never gotten the chance to come up here when she visited. She always came back with souvenirs for you and stories to tell. The day finally came for you to meet her grandparents and they were amazing. Her grandmother’s cooking was to die for, and her grandfather had intense stories to tell about the war that had everyone’s interest peaked. Everyone but Elaine. She’d already heard them a million times.

They owned a home right on the edge of Lake Michigan. The three of you spent a lot of time on the beach, building sandcastles or taking a swim. You remember some late nights where Elaine would pop popcorn for movie watching and an early morning when you had stepped outside to sketch the view. One of the days, the four of you took the hour drive to Chicago to explore the city. It was truly an unforgettable experience. You had only hoped Evan enjoyed it as much as you did.

Compared to the trip, the rest of the summer was pretty mundane. You got a summer job at a Mama Mia’s Pizza, where you worked mornings and sometimes mid-day. It wasn’t the best job, tips weren’t that great, and getting to work was a pain. Most days you would ride your bike, or your brother would give you rides on his days off. But watching your sixth college fund jar fill up, little by little, is what gave you the motivation to get up every morning. You would have more, but your parents insisted you only work during the summers, so you could focus wholeheartedly on your studies during the school year. You would have put up more of a fight about this, but they had been setting aside money for college for years now, so you obliged.

Elaine spent most of her summer days with Eric. He would leave for Purdue University at the end of the summer to study engineering. It was only a couple hours out of town, and she told you they were going to try long-distance. Since she was otherwise occupied, you spent most of your nights reading a book, drawing up another sketch, or dozing off in front of the television. Or writing poetry if you were otherwise inspired.

One night, you were sitting in your usual spot in front of the television. NBC was playing re-runs of Cheers. You weren’t really watching anymore though. Somewhere in the middle of the episode, your mind had started to wander and you thought of Billy. You wondered what he could be doing at that moment. Then you figured, he was probably soaking up the California sun by day and partying hard by night.

You knew that there must be more to him than just that pretty face. He must have goals and plans for the future. You wondered, what were his dreams and aspirations? What college did he want to attend? What motivated him to get up every morning? You wished you had gotten the chance to ask him these questions, just out of curiosity.

When school started up again, everything seemed to be quiet again, back to the way it was before Billy showed up. You hated to admit it, but school had seemed a bit boring. Although he did cause a lot of trouble, Billy brought a lot of excitement to this small town as well. You had almost missed hearing the stories and rumors about him and the gang vandalizing property. Or hearing the smart remarks he made in class that sometimes ended in a visit to the dean’s office. Or rolling your eyes at his hooting and hollering down the halls of the school.

You tried to push him out of your mind. It’s not like he was in California missing you, or anything.

Elaine practically slammed her lunch tray in front of you, thrilled to tell you the rumor she heard that day.

“Did you hear about Billy?” The day you tried to forget him is the day that Elaine brought him up.

“No.” You attempted to sound disinterested, playing with your food instead.

“He’s still in Hawkins!”

This made you stop, mid-chew, and glance up from the watered down macaroni and cheese. She continued. “Heather told me she saw him at Bert’s yesterday. He works there!”

Confused, you asked, “Bert’s Auto Repair? What was Heather doing there?”

“Her parents bought her a car at the end of the summer. Needed some fixing up, so she took it in,” she said dismissively with a wave of her hand. “Who cares? Billy Hargrove is still in Hawkins! Isn’t that crazy?”

Yes. It was very crazy. You, and probably the rest of the school, were sure he would have gotten out of here as soon as graduation day.

What on earth was Billy Hargrove still doing in Indiana?

Billy occupied your thoughts for the rest of that school day. So much for forgetting about him.

With your studies as an adequate distraction, you tried not to think of Billy. More importantly, you were focused on making sure you were acing every class, like always. Since Eric was at Purdue, you and Elaine spent more time together. During the first week of school, you two had made a few new friends as well. Your mom even allowed you to babysit occasionally, as long as it didn’t get in the way of schoolwork, which meant more money going into the college fund.

Before you knew it, a month flew by, and it was already September.

You remember the day. It was Friday, September 6, 1985. You had decided to bike to the library.

During the school year, visiting the library on Fridays is something you did fairly often. Most kids made plans on Friday afternoons and evenings, using the earlier days in the week for studying. This ensured the library wouldn’t be busy and you would be able to have some time to yourself. It was a good place to sketch or write without worry of being disturbed. You hadn’t gotten a chance to since school started, so you were eager to get going.

There was plenty of room in the library for reading or working on homework, but you had a favorite spot. It was a table in the back, a bit secluded from the group of tables in the center. It was a simple corner with a small table and two chairs to match. A window sat beside it. There wasn’t much of a view. All that was visible through it was the road to the library and the grass leading up to it. But that didn’t matter. What mattered was that whenever you sat in that seat, sketchpad or notebook stretched before you, the creative juices would flow more easily to you. You would say that some of your best work was done there, and you couldn’t quite explain why. Maybe it was the way the sun shone through the window straight onto the table top. Maybe it was the old, rustic look of the table that made you think of faraway places. Whatever the reason, it had kept you coming back for so long.

It was a place where you felt comfortable, at ease. It was somewhere you could escape and be alone with your thoughts. It was a safe haven, a sort of a refuge, hidden from the world.

After chaining your bike up, you walked up the steps and through the front doors. You said hello to the librarian’s friendly face that you knew so well. She had seen you come in too many times to count. She greeted you as she usually did, with a wide smile.

You walked in the direction of your corner, stopping by the section that contained books on art. You had combed through these a million times, but snatched a rather large one titled “Learn to Draw Eyes in a Week.” You needed to practice those anyway. You crossed your arms, hugging the book to your chest.

Turning around the bookshelf, you were surprised to find that you weren’t greeted by an empty chair.

Having not yet noticed your presence, you watched as his dirty blonde curly head looked out the window. He was slouched in his chair, legs extended before him with one ankle crossed over the other. His arms were crossed against his chest, and he wore a navy blue mechanic coverall suit. His hair seemed to have grown since the last time you saw him. Was it possible that he had gotten buffer?

It was such a beautiful picture. He seemed at peace. You longed to sit back and draw up a sketch but thought about how awkward it might be if he caught you. Instead, you silently crept back with the intention of turning the corner and leaving him be.

You were almost there when you attempted to rush around the corner, but the book you held caught on the edge of the shelf and launched out of your hands. It landed with a loud thud. He whipped his head around at the same time your face turned a deep shade of red.

You scrambled to retrieve the book, and when you looked up, Billy Hargrove’s startled eyes bore into you.

chapter 2 coming soon! eventually let me know what you think! xoxo

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