#heartbreaking news for me ( Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[charlieslimeciclereal]

wow they're so happy i hope nothing tragic is about to befall them

wip for this piece reblogs appreciated!!

[hannieween]

killer | heartbreaker series | c.sc

Choi Seungcheol is a strategist to his core. And he thought it would be simple to steal princess from her castle. Well, he thought wrong.

✧ pairing: choi seungcheol x female reader ✧ genre: angst, fluff, smut (18+) ✧ aus: gambler seungcheol, boyfriend seungcheol ✧ word count: 18.3k

↣ previous chapters – other fics – buy me coffee? ᨐฅ

₊🎧: heartbreak – minho | winterfall – dpr ian | flower-ed – i.m

₊ nsfw tags under the cut

✧ warnings: flashback chapter, this chapter is really long pls bear w me, smut with plot, reader has an abusive family, cheol is a bit possessive, a whole lot of drama i warned you, first times, corruption kink, oral sex (f), pussy stretching, body worshipping, multiple unprotected sex scenes, pull out method, a whole lot of exhibitionism: sex in public spaces; mentions of alcohol, couch sex, creampie, daddy kink, dom seungcheol, sub reader, big dick seungcheol, monsta x i.m makes an appearance (i love that man, let me be), pet names: love, baby, beautiful, angel (hers), daddy, babe (his)

✧ a/n: this is loosely proofread.

✧ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part iii

six years before – (first year together)

The first time Seungcheol saw you, he swore he had never laid eyes on someone so beautiful. You were strolling around the party wearing a literal tiara on your head and a sparkly dress that played with his eyesight when you walked past him. 

The place was so packed with people but still, you had managed to drive the attention of nearby eyes to you only. When you danced with your girlfriends all in a group and started drinking out of a strawberry vodka, straight from the bottle.

"Birthday girl gets to drink first!" one of your friends chanted over the loud music. That was how Seungcheol knew that it was your birthday. 

Probably that explained the tiara on your head, he thought.

Although Seungcheol had found at last something interesting to hold his attention to, he couldn't help but think that it was a weird place for someone like you to be in. 

He sat at a round foldable table, a ragged green cloth covered it. Completely cluttered with red plastic cups, ashtrays, a lonely tequila bottle and packs of cards. 

Seungcheol had thought that the reunion for tonight would only be for the game. But upon arriving he immediately thought that the crowd was mixed, since on one corner you and your friends were getting blasted, another corner was occupied by the table he was sitting at. And between them, a lot of people who he didn't recognize.

One of your friends laughed loudly when you tilted your head back, mouth wide open while the other poured alcohol down your throat. But you closed your mouth too soon, spilling vodka on your chin and down your neck. 

"What the fuck?" Changkyun muttered under his breath, flicking the bud of the cigarette he was taking to his mouth to give it a long draw, winking one eye as he looked over his shoulder to your friend group. 

"Honey's girlfriend invited them," Seungcheol explained briefly, after being informed of the situation. "It's someone's birthday, I think."

"Mm," he nodded his head and exhaled the smoke slowly. "That would explain all the squealing." 

There was indeed a lot of laughter and squealing coming from your friend group. He noticed that you were probably just here for a pre-drinking session because it was a tad bit too early to be downing shots like that, unless you were planning to go elsewhere. 

You twirled around for one of your friends who apparently wanted to see your sparkly dress and when you did, you elicited a bunch of 'aws' and compliments from your girlfriends, making you blush and cover your face with your hands. 

Seungcheol smiled. Pretty. He threw his head back as he downed the last sip of soju from the bottle. Mind reeling, split in two between the game and the start of his new plan. 

When the game came to an end, Seungcheol collected his prize from the table and pocketed it with a nonchalant expression on his face. 

Changkyun clicked his tongue. "I'll get you next time, Coups." 

Seungcheol rolled his eyes when he heard his friend use his old nickname. "Sure you will, Kyun." 

He rose from the chair and followed his friend out the tiny apartment and onto the open halls of the building complex for a smoke. 

Seungcheol shook his head when offered the blunt. "I'm driving back home," he muttered and bent on the rails to prop his elbows over it. 

Changkyun sucked in a breath and blew the smoke slowly. It was quiet outside, the night had only begun and he could sense that the interesting part was just about to begin. 

"Hiii," a small chirpy voice broke the silence. Seungcheol looked over his shoulder and his friend did too. 

A girl, who Seungcheol vaguely recognized, waved her hand at the pair of unsuspecting men. 

"Hi," Changkyun replied first, the velvet lacing his voice almost made Seungcheol huff in utter embarrassment. 

"Me and my friends are going to this club and we'd like you guys to come with us," she breathed in some of her nervousness. "If you wanna come, obviously." 

Seungcheol remained silent and turned so that he wasn't giving his back to the girl. 

"We'd love to," Changkyun replied first, making Seungcheol arch an eyebrow inquisitively. 

"Great!" the girl replied with a small jolt and turned to run towards your friend group, who watched the whole interaction from afar. "Oh, we're leaving in ten!" 

Seungcheol sent his friend a glare. 

"Wha?" Changkyun squeaked and huffed. "You need to go out more, man. Meet people, girls, dunno." 

"I don't wanna babysit." 

His friend clicked his mouth. "Ayy, you're such a prissy ass," he reprimanded. "Nobody said you'll be babysitting. Have fun for once. Real fun."  

The smell of burnt weed had started to affect him, surely, because Seungcheol only shook his head and said: "Fine. But I can't stay long, okay? I have a game tomorrow morning." 

"I have a game tomorrow morning," Changkyun parroted, doing a poor imitation of Seungcheol's tone and then huffed again before tucking the blunt on his lips one final time. "Nerd." 

"Asshole," he retorted and rolled his eyes.

Seungcheol's friend was a bit of a player, as long as he had known him, he had never settled with one partner for longer than three months. Which, to Seungcheol's point of view, was whatever.

But to his friend, Seungcheol was a total loner.

"It doesn't hurt to do something different once in a while," he encouraged with a small smile. "You're in your head way too much."

"Mm," Seungcheol nodded and made no comment about it.

The only times he has been in these kinds of situations, had been solely because of his friends. He's not one to go out clubbing, if he wants to get drunk, he does it at home, which in this case would mean, his friends' homes, not at his parents.

So as soon as he followed Changkyun, and a group of girls down the packed, steamy, grimy club, he immediately wanted to turn around and leave.

But he felt dragged by his friend, who was eyeing him warning and knowing looks, making Seungcheol feel like a dick, because he totally was already planning an excuse to go home.

And for once, Seungcheol decided to relax. He didn't have any excuses to go home, and in reality, he did need to go out more, he did need to meet people, rather than staying secluded in his own little bubble.

Changkyun immediately found a place to sit, and to manspread, Seungcheol noted silently. His friend knew what he was doing, because as soon as they found a place to watch your pretty friends reunite around a table and dance, they slowly started flocking around him.

Seungcheol snorted and rolled his eyes when a girl sat between him and his friend in the small seat. It was inevitable, Changkyun always had that quiet alluring aura about him. Whereas Seungcheol was more closed off, which, to him, was alright.

He watched under the neon lights the group of girls progressively get drunker, sloppier, happier until the night reached its high and the energy started to decline rapidly.

He stopped paying attention the minute his friend started snogging the girl that made the invitation for them to come, and feeling like he had a window of opportunity to leave, he rose from the seat and snuck out of the club.

Once outside, Seungcheol exhaled the fresh air of the night and looked up at the dark, moonless night. Torn between going back and telling his friend that he was going home or simply pulling a disappearing act and going home.

"Watch your head, oh no, careful–," he heard someone let out a silly chortle. "Oh my god, your dad is going to kill us."

Seungcheol turned and saw you trying to get one of your friends in the backseat of a car. You had your friend wrapped in one arm and managed to get the door open with the other.

"Get in there," you laughed again when your friend started to put in some resistance, not wanting to leave for home. "Oh my god, this looks so bad, Chae please get in there."

Your friend laughed with you, giving up the fight and you closed the car door, waving your friend back as the car drove away. You exhaled tiredly, and drunkenly and slowly turned.

"Oh, hi there," you gasped, a bit startled by his presence. "Did you see all that?"

Seungcheol nodded silently.

"That was my friend's dad," you put in quickly. "Please don't think that I was aiding a kidnapping."

He couldn't bring himself to reply. He obviously saw the situation as it was and didn't interpret it in a wrongful way.

But he also saw in your eyes that you were quite drunk, the rosy colored cheeks and glistening eyes. You were trying to make him laugh, and he totally didn't get it.

"Are you–," you breathed and looked nervous again. "A friend of Kyun's?"

Seungcheol didn't reply again, not as quickly as you wanted.

"One of my friends has a stupid crush on him," you explained and brushed off with a hand. "I was just wondering because... well, I've seen you around campus."

He felt an eyebrow immediately quirk up before he could control himself. "You have?"

You put your hands on your waist and staggered a little bit. Seungcheol noted that you looked tired and, probably from wearing really high heels, and being drunk didn't help much with your balance either.

"Yeah, you're part of the soccer team, right? And you... you're always at the library too," your tone faltered a little by the end of your sentence and you looked away, clearly embarrassed.

Seungcheol couldn't help but grin a little when he noticed you were flustered. "I'd never seen you around," he admitted, enjoying the blush that intensified on your face. "You've been to my games?"

"I've watched you train... once," you stuttered, raising your drunken gaze back at him.

Were you... flirting with him? Probably. Seungcheol noticed that you looked nervous right away, but you were also drunk and that made you brutally honest.

That made him smile for the first time, your big starry eyes zeroed on his lips when he did that. "And... the library?"

"I'm always there too," you mumbled, bringing a hand to brush some hairs off your face.

The cold wind ruffled his hair too, and your hands held onto the sparkly fabric of your pretty dress when it threatened to blow your skirt. You giggled in utter embarrassment but he just thought you were cute.

And apparently, from your reaction and from your drunken comments, you thought the same about him too.

Seungcheol was the cute library crush you always found caught up on schoolwork at the library desks.

At first you thought it was nice that the sportsy, popular guy would mostly be found buried in essays, but once you saw that his popularity was something he didn't even remotely desired, you found him quite alluring.

And from the moment you noticed him, you saw him everywhere around campus. At the gym, the library, the café. Being that he was of the older generations, a lot of girls found him cute too.

"I probably should go back," you slurred after a brief moment of silence and pointed a thumb back to the club's entrance.

Seungcheol thought of anything to keep you there, but at the same time, he had nothing to say yet, he was just enjoying the dazed look on your face, the pinkish cheeks and the sloppy way you licked your lips.

"Happy birthday," he muttered with an honest smile.

You stopped in your tracks, looking completely flustered, you showed him a small frown, a question written in your eyes.

"Thank you."

You smiled sheepishly and he gave you a polite nod before you went back to your friends.

But that was the moment he solidified his plan.

The campus library was always cold. The windows were high in the ceiling, so what little sunlight they let in didn't help alleviate the morning chill either.

Seungcheol sat at one of the most secluded desks, buried in his thesis work. At the moment he was just reading and gathering sources, but he was aching to start writing it so he could just be done with getting his degree.

But it was undeniable that he was brilliant. Top of his class, excelling in his sports scholarship too. He kind of hated it too, he was eager to abandon this place once and for all.

But that morning was different. As soon as he settled in his usual spot, he kept alert to any signs of you, he wondered how you noticed him first and he never did you.

Until you came down to the library, an hour and a half later. You were unsuspecting of his watchful eye and that made him curious.

You wore a fluffy sweater and had put your hair in a ponytail, which swayed and bounced a little with your walk, which he noticed was delicate. Almost as if you didn't want to draw any attention towards you, didn't want to make a sound.

Did you know he was watching you? He couldn't tell, but honestly, he felt it was fair game now that he knew you had watched him more than once.

You sat at the far extreme, and it seemed like that was your spot too. As soon as you settled the book beside your laptop, you raised your gaze to his direction, much as if that was a bit of a habit of yours.

As soon as your gazes connected, you lowered your head, pretending to bury your nose in the book sprawled open in your desk.

Seungcheol couldn't help but stifle a smile when you noticed him and made a weak attempt to pretend you weren't looking his way. But he noticed.

The next hours went down that way, exchanging meek glaces at each other that slowly progressed to more knowing, subtle looks. But it ended too soon, when you checked your phone and realized you were late for a class, gathered your things silently, but swiftly and ran from the library.

The following morning, he decided to sit closer to your table. His usual spot was occupied that day so he saw it as an opportunity to sit on the table next to yours.

Sitting across from you, diagonally, he had a clear view from your flustered face upon entering the study section of the library and finding him closer to your spot in the tables.

But you sat in your usual seat anyway. Silently setting down your stuff, your laptop and notebooks and your obnoxious amounts of post-its and highlighters and got to work.

Ten minutes later you got up to find a book on the shelves. Seungcheol couldn't help but to steal a glance at you, but you appeared to be expecting it. Your gazes crossed again and now it was his turn to look away, completely embarrassed.

He looked down at his laptop's keyboard and pretended to type something while on the inside he was deeply and utterly flustered by you.

When you came back to your seat, Seungcheol didn't dare to look your way, not immediately, he thought it would only make his case way too obvious and scare you away.

But then, in his line of vision, he saw your pretty hand slipping a piece of paper on his table with your handwriting in it.

› hi there •ᴗ•

Seungcheol finally looked up, but you were looking down to your open book, very evidently pretending to be immersed in a page. He scrambled on his backpack for a pencil or a pen, anything, just so he could return the note to you.

› hi

He slid the piece of paper back to your table, but you made no move towards it yet, so he returned to his laptop.

Some minutes later, you slipped a new piece of paper. Now, insead of a written down note, you had drawn a three-by-three grid, a single cross on the top right corner. It was a game of tic-tac-toe.

In disbelief, he raised his eyes back to your still pretentious self and smiled. Drawing his zero on the top left corner and return the game to you.

Seungcheol suspected that you didn't want to make your game evident to respect the silence in the library and the students around you. So some thirty seconds later, you returned the piece of paper and copying you, he returned it thirty seconds later as well.

The game took about three minutes. It ended with you winning when you returned the piece of paper with your three crosses aligned and a smiley face.

› that was an easy win; you said in your pretty handwriting.

Seungcheol exhaled a smile softly.

› i let you win

› sore loser?

› or a gentleman...

You snorted quietly as soon as you read that, making Seungcheol smile embarrassedly.

› i appreciate the gesture, but i prefer fair play

His eyebrow twitched slightly.

› i won't go easy on you next round, then.

› bring it on.

You watched his hand twirl the pencil around his fingers a couple of times before writing down his response. The two of you had forgotten to stay discreet, exchanging looks as you passed each other the piece of paper.

› i will on one condition.

› which is?

› that if i win, you go out on a date with me.

› and if i win?

› you choose your prize.

You slipped a new piece of paper with a clean three-by-three grid, with your cross slotted in the middle.

And either you got sloppy or let him win because the game ended too soon with him winning. Did you want him to win? He wondered.

But soon you both hit it off effortlessly. Seungcheol would soon learn that you were kindhearted, sweet and really smart. One of the reasons why you were always at the library was to keep yourself top of the class, too.

He discovered that one of your aspirations was to dedicate your life to your studies, writing, researching and unraveling the mysteries of past lives, authors and their intentions. And he thought it was great that you were determined in your career.

After a number of dates of just you two going out to grab lunch after course hours, Seungcheol made up his mind. And that was that he really liked you, and wanted something more serious.

"Careful with that," one of his friends warned one night.

It was a big university, but word got around fast that the very popular Seungcheol had his eye set on you.

"Why?" he asked slowly.

"She's kind of royalty," his friend explained, which Seungcheol only replied by pushing his eyebrows up. "I mean, look her family name up, you'll see."

Reluctantly, Seungcheol did what his friend said with a snort. Only to find that indeed, your family was kind of royalty in the city.

Owners of one of the biggest enterprises in the country, your parents appeared to be two powerful entrepreneurs with a significant influence in the country.

There were a bunch of photos of them and you posing by their side, hiding your face from the cameras. Cold, distant to you, but oddly enough dubbed by the media as philanthropists.

And before Seungcheol scrolled for more, he stopped himself.

"I don't see why this should mean anything," Seungcheol finalized, rising from the bench inside the locker rooms.

And it didn't. Not at first, at least.

One night, after much preamble of sweet glances and shy touches, Seungcheol offered you a ride home.

As you slid on the passenger seat in his brother's car, you suddenly felt a very unfamiliar heat warm up your body. You hadn't been this close to Seungcheol in private. So far, your interactions had been kept public, and you hadn't so much as touched his shoulder.

So now that you were beside him, you took a moment to calm yourself. But your anxiety was almost palpable, you became quiet, and tried to avert your gaze from him as best as you could.

But it didn't help that Seungcheol was wearing a navy polo shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. And god, he was wearing those jeans today too. His meaty thighs stretched the blue and thick fabric.

Seungcheol noticed your wandering gaze, but made no comment about it.

"Um, pull over here," you signaled him nervously.

"Do you live here?" he asked as he pulled over and leaned over his seat to look up at the tall building at the center of the city.

"Yeah, wi-with my parents," you put in nervously and fidgeted for the door handle and pulled it, opening the door to scramble out of the car.

Seungcheol tilted his head inquisitively and got out of the car as well, following you to the sidewalk. It was already dark outside, so he wondered if your parents gave you some kind of curfew.

"Hold on," he said, stopping you before you could run off to the interior of the building.

"Sorry, I just–," you breathed out nervously and mustered up some courage to look up at his big puppy eyes. "I've never, ever, done this before."

"Done what?" Seungcheol asked slowly, feeling a small smile creeping on his face.

"This, d-dates, dating," you stuttered a bit, which caused you to smile shyly. "I might have some moments of boldness around you but—I really like you, Seungcheol."

Seungcheol looked at you, the sweet girl that hadn't left his mind since that moment he met you, the pretty girl he already had concocted plans to win over, you were toying with the dainty necklace with your fingers anxiously and smiled.

"Call me Cheol," he corrected softly, offering a sliver of familiarity before he added. "I like you too. A lot."

You blinked at him, your fingers stopped fidgeting and your mouth parted a little. "Cheol," you nodded, smiling at him shyly.

"We can take it slow," he offered and pressed his lips into a smile.

His dimples showed on his cheeks and your heart twisted, making your breath hitch ever so slightly.

"But... that's the thing," you crossed your arms over your chest now, and he guessed it was to keep yourself from fidgeting any more. "I don't want to... take it slow."

Seungcheol arched an eyebrow. "Please elaborate," he mumbled with a goofy chuckle.

"I mean, we've gone out five times already and you haven't even kissed me," you babbled and he could see that you were beginning to be flustered.

Seungcheol pondered for a second. Why hasn't he kissed you yet? Well, it wasn't his indecision, really. He would've done it the first time you both went out together. But the truth was, he wanted to do things right with you.

"I didn't want you to think that I'm going too fast," he mumbled hesitantly, bringing a hand up to scratch a fake itch on his nape.

"Oh," you uttered and frowned. "In that case..." you trailed off, unable to find what words to say.

Your previous words you said hung in his mind, giving out the reason why you were almost jittery whenever he even so much dared to press the palm of his hand between your shoulder blades.

You've never had a boyfriend before. Not by choice, you've had a few crushes before, but nothing that ever went farther than just simple, innocent kisses.

But Seungcheol had awakened something in you. Something so unfamiliar that unnerved you to your bones. It was a warmth that made you feel hot under your clothes, it made your blood rush to your cheeks and twist your heart.

"Come here," Seungcheol said, opening his strong arms and pulling you in a comforting hug.

It wasn't a friendly hug, the purpose of it was to try and calm down your anxieties, to make you realize that he wanted to be more serious with you.

You stiffened under his embrace at first, but quickly wrapped your arms around his torso and rested your head on his shoulder, breathing in his manly scent, the cologne in his clothes.

The warmth feeling invaded you again when you felt his heartbeat against your own chest, when he appeared to be pressing his lips slowly on the crown of your head. Oh my god, you thought over and over.

When you felt like the hug had went over for minutes, you peeled off his body slowly and reluctantly, but suddenly stopped short

"Oh–," you gasped.

"What–," he muttered and looked down.

Your gold necklace had tangled in one of the buttons of his polo shirt, making you giggle shyly and brought a hand up to attempt to untangle the mess.

Seungcheol seized your hand, your eyes snapping to his nervously as his other hand came to cup your chin gingerly. Your eyes read his face, widening slightly when you saw it in his gaze—he wanted to kiss you.

His half-lidded puppy eyes swam over the features of your face, on your eyes, your lips and then back up. And you wondered what the look on your face might have been, because it made him smile softly.

You, in turn, looked flustered. And Seungcheol knew that you wanted this because your lips had parted in desire, your breath hitched at his touch. And your eyes, so telling of your own intentions.

Slowly, Seungcheol dipped his head to meet your lips with his own, keeping his hand on your chin to keep you in place. You swallowed hard the second you felt his wet lips on yours, pressing tenderly once, twice, until they locked slowly, moving against each other seamlessly.

Your eyes had fluttered close, as you let the man you've been crushing for months dominate the kiss, and that he did gingerly, almost lovingly. The hand that had seized yours slowly pressed his palm against your own, and you took the liberty to lace your fingers with his.

When the kiss ended he parted to look at your pretty eyes, moving the hand from your chin to brush the softness of your cheek and you leaned in to his touch, almost instinctively.

"Seungcheol," you muttered then, "Cheol, I have something to tell you."

You pressed your hand against the one that was cupping your cheek. And Seungcheol pushed his eyebrows up slightly, encouraging you to speak.

"I don't know how much you know about me, about my family, but it has scared some people off my life before and... I don't want that to be you," you muttered with a tinge of nervousness quivering your tone.

"I'm not going anywhere," he reassured, leaning to press a kiss to your forehead. "Don't think that for a second."

That was the start to your relationship with Choi Seungcheol.

And for all his plans of taking it slow, you both sure flew into first, second, third base pretty fast. Seungcheol was careful with you every step of the way, but sometimes he found you so hard to resist.

And it didn't help that your sex drive was just as high as his, or even higher.

The making out session had started innocently. Seungcheol had driven almost aimlessly out of the city until he found a perfect spot to park in a secluded area.

By this point, you were a month into dating. So you were pretty much still new to all things relating to intimacy. But at the same time, you were so eager for more. To go past brief touches and short make out sessions.

But there was something different about you tonight. Maybe it was that you were far from the city and the car was practically hidden from view and upcoming cars, deep into some trail in the woods.

Maybe it was that you thought he looked extra hot that night. Wearing a tight black long sleeve t-shirt. But you found Seungcheol hot, no matter what he did or wore.

You were pressed against the steering wheel of the car, straddling him in a very lewd manner. You've never gone this far, but it was exciting, it was taunting.

"Baby," he muttered against your lips, one of his hands was cupping your face while the other was kneading anxiously at the curve of your waist.

"Mm?" you hummed softly in his mouth, not wanting to pull away, you felt as though you were unable to.

"Is this okay?" he asked with a strangled tone. It had been some minutes since either of you had spoken. He cleared his throat and added: "We're not going too far?"

You had never gotten this close to anyone before. Your heart was beating so hard against your chest that you could feel your pulse at your throat.

"This is okay," you breathed, capturing his lower lip between yours and he groaned. "I want this."

"Want what?" he moved a hand from the side of your face to your lower back, eliciting a small moan from you. "Fuck," he breathed when he heard you.

"I want you," you whispered, pressing your lips on his jawline, then down his neck, daring to lick his skin.

His fingers clenched on your flesh, over your clothes and hissed loudly. "Baby, don't do that," he groaned.

"Don't like it?" you asked and finally peeled off him.

The look on your face was something Seungcheol couldn't get enough of. You looked flustered, hot and horny. Your lips were swollen from all the kissing, and the steamy conditions from the inside of the car made your skin dewy, making your hair stick to your neck.

"I do, I like it," he chuckled, feeling embarrassed. "I like it too much."

Your features took on a bolder look. "How much?" you asked with a playful tone, smiling a bit.

Seungcheol rolled his eyes at your playful question, feeling like he might explode soon.

But he only took your hand and guided it to the huge bulge pressing against his jeans, wordlessly telling you just how much he was driven insane by you.

It was a bold move, he knew it. Your eyes widened and a shudder invaded you, along with that warmth that begged you to move farther, to get more from this interaction.

You swallowed thickly. "You're..." you trailed off.

Seungcheol mimicked you and swallowed hard too. He removed your hand from his hard crotch and kissed your knuckles.

"Do you want to... do something about it?" you asked shyly and smiled to yourself.

"Like what?" he asked, now being playful with you.

"Do you want me to touch you?" you asked with a tiny voice, your shifty eyes averting from his.

"No," he replied, drawing your eyes back at him with a question written in them. "I don't want you to do that now, baby."

"Doesn't it... hurt?" you asked meekly and turned your gaze yet again from him.

Seungcheol smiled. "Not right now, but it will later," he replied simply, shrugging as if this wasn't the first time he's gotten blue-balled by you.

"Why does it sound like it's normal for you?" you caught right on, an eyebrow jumping up.

He pinched your chin with his index and thumb. "You drive me crazy, baby. You always leave me a little needy," he explained, but then realizing how he sounded, he added: "But it's okay, I'm not pressuring you to do anything you don't want to do."

"But I want to, Cheol," you repositioned yourself on his lap, scooting your crotch closer to his.

That made his hands snap to your hips, just when he felt a little bit of friction on his hard and clothed cock.

He stifled a moan. "What do you want, baby?"

You swore you went a little crazy every time he called you that. You bit your lip, looking at his big and dark eyes.

His hand cupped your chin again, motioning you closer so that he could kiss you on your lips.

"Mm? What do you want?" he egged you on, his voice low and pouring into your ears.

"Take me," you whispered between kisses.

A groan bubbled in his chest and deepened the kiss by swiping a line with the tip of his tongue on your lower lip. You moaned softly in his mouth too, and the sound might have sent him into a frenzy too.

"No," he groaned with a low guttural tone.

"Please?" you asked before he could even explain himself.

"Not here, baby," he started and pressed his body back on his seat, thus parting away from your lips. "You're not having your first time in my brother's car."

You blinked, looking a bit startled and searched his eyes.

"Don't you want to have your first time in a bed?" he asked, his eyebrows knitting at his question.

That seemed to cool you down from your frenzy moment and appeared to be considering it.

You nodded quietly. "With you," you replied with a certain tone of plea.

He blinked slowly, realizing that you had thought he was rejecting your advances. "Of course, baby," he replied with a warm smile.

You pressed your lips in a cute pout, and then you hit him with puppy eyes. "Can we... continue where we left off?"

"What do you want?" he asked again, his hands parked on your hips.

You fidgeted with the collar of his black t-shirt, shyly glancing at his eyes, then back to your hands. "Can you touch me?"

Seungcheol pressed his hands on the curve of your waist and nodded. "Where, baby?"

Your breath hitched audibly but neither of you made note about it. Borrowing a page from his book, you took his hands from your waist, and guided them to your breasts, indicating where you wanted his hands.

Your blood rushed to your face in utter embarrassment from how wet you felt already, your panties were pooling with your arousal and the second you motioned his hands on your breasts, over your clothes, you swallowed back a moan.

Seungcheol applied pressure to your tits, kneading at them softly, over the fabric of your blouse and bra. You knew that wasn't enough, you needed to feel him directly.

You dropped your forehead on his and breathed out your nervousness. "God, I'm so wet," you whispered and let out an embarrassed laugh.

Seungcheol groaned louder this time and closed his eyes fiercely. His hands flew from your tits and pressed you down on his cock by your hips.

"Fuck," he breathed, anxiously tightening his grip on your sides. "Can I feel you?"

You nodded desperately. "Yes, please?" you sighed a moan.

His hand sneaked beneath your skirt, realizing that you might've come prepared for this because you were also wearing a lace thong, as soon he would discover when the pads of his fingers grazed your clothed pussy.

"Baby," he called, making you pull back and lock eyes with him. "You can stop me if you feel uncomfortable, okay?"

You nodded and bit your lip in anticipation, looking down where his hand had disappeared beneath your skirt.

But a hand grabbed your chin gently to lift your gaze back at his. "I need to hear it."

"Okay," you replied.

He then searched for the hem of your thong and moved it aside to uncover your cunt to his fingers, where he ran the pads of his fingers, shuddering slightly when he felt the softness covered with your arousal.

"So wet," he whispered and swallowed back a groan. "You're dripping, baby."

You nodded and bit back a moan when his fingers exploring your cunt found your clit almost effortlessly.

"There?" he asked and you nodded. "Tell me how you're feeling."

"Good," you breathed immediately when the pads of his middle fingers rubbed your clit back and forth, pressing on the nub just the right amount to make you moan.

"You sound so sweet," he mumbled almost entrancingly, enjoying the look on your face when your eyelids fluttered shut and your lips parted a little, allowing a sigh to escape between them.

Your hands slid from his shoulders down to his chest and you leaned back on the steering wheel to give him ample space to continue pleasuring you.

Seungcheol put his free hand to use by hiking your skirt up, uncovering your lush thighs to his view. Under the weak moonlight, he could also see your pretty cunt, and he pushed your panties aside further so he could see just how wet you were.

"God, baby," he looked up, his darkened eyes finding yours. "You're perfect."

You were still biting your lip, unable to make a coherent response because his touch was nearly driving you crazy.

Seungcheol threw you a cautious glance, before dipping one finger inside your entrance, his mouth parted at the same time yours did.

"Cheol," you mewled when his finger slid in completely exploring your warm and wet walls.

"Is that okay?" he asked, dragging his finger out to then push it back in.

You nodded and then replied. "Yeah, okay," you babbled.

"More?" he asked, but it sounded like he was testing you.

"Yes, yes more, please," you whimpered desperately trying to get more so you could finally get the pleasure you seeked.

Seungcheol pushed another digit in, feeling your walls contract and that made him gasp. But wasted no time and started exploring your gummy walls, every ridge, every slippery fold.

You held onto one of his buff biceps, your fingers digging on his muscle quite harshly but not enough to hurt him.

"Relax, baby," he whispered. But there was no denying that he was loving every second of you getting off by just a couple of fingers. And not only that, him being the first to be doing this was also giving him a rush.

"It feels good," you gasped and looked at his eyes.

"Yeah? Do you like it if I do this?" he asked before curling his fingers inside you, the pointy tips of his fingers pressing on your walls in a very sensitive spot.

"God! Yes, that feels good," you gasped, your hips buckled on top of him just as he started to move his hand repeatedly, teasing that glorious spot inside you.

"Like that?" he asked with a strangled tone, feeling like he might come in his pants from just seeing you and feeling you with his fingers.

"Yes, yes, yes," you whimpered. "Don't stop—please? Please, Cheol, it feels so good."

Seungcheol felt the corner of his mouth twitch up in a smirk. "I'm not stopping, baby," he replied.

Your breath had started to hitch and the hand holding onto his bicep clenched hard and then went lax. You were close, but it was quite difficult to get to your much desperately needed release.

"Do you want to rub your clit?" Seungcheol asked when he noticed and you nodded. "Show me how you do it, baby," he instructed, not stopping his hand on your cunt, but only moving it to give more access to your fingers.

You lifted your hips a little, giving him the full view to your cunt as you reached your clit with your fingers and started rubbing. You mewled instantly at the motion of both your fingers and his inside you, making you cry out in pleasure.

"Are you close, angel?" he asked, when he saw the features of your face relax, moaning sweetly and looking almost angelical.

"Yeah," you gasped, a rush of bliss taking over you when he used that new nickname on you. "Mm so close," you moaned.

"God, you look so good like this," he whispered in complete awe.

"Cheol," you mewled. "I'm there, god, g–ah," your eyebrows knitted and your mouth opened, breathing in sharply as you came hard on his fingers, the orgasm was nearly mind-numbing, not only from how good it felt, but from how long you had been aching for this.

"So good, so good," you whimpered over and over as you came, eyes closed, enjoying every second of it.

Seungcheol also enjoyed the look on your face, the sounds you made, how tightly you squeezed his fingers with your warm walls.

By the end of your orgasm, you were panting, thighs trembling a little, and you leaned forward a little to get some support. Seungcheol used his free hand to cup your cheek, motioning you over to his lips.

You kissed him softly, still breathing erratically.

"You did so good, baby," he whispered on your lips. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," you frowned. "Perfect, actually."

Seungcheol laughed and pressed his lips on your forehead.

You shuddered slightly when he pulled out his fingers from your walls and brought his hand up to his mouth to lick your arousal from his fingers, looking at your eyes as he got his first taste of you.

"Seu—Cheol? What are you doing?" you sounded alarmed as you watched him groan in approval and as if he were testing you, he pulled you for a kiss.

You tasted yourself in his tongue, the act so lewd that it had you whimpering again.

"You're so perfect baby," he muttered with a low tone.

He fixed your panties back in place and then your skirt, his fascinated eyes reveling at the sight of you on top of him.

You looked around for the first time in what seemed like hours, and realized that the windows had become obscured with a light layer of condensation.

The sight made you smile a little—it seemed just like in movies. And you were so, so in love with Seungcheol. It seemed fast, but you were also young and so willing to discover things about yourself at his side that time seemed to be unimportant to you.

You brought up a finger and started scribbling on the window of the car.

"I love you," your little message read.

Seungcheol felt something so strong in his chest that it almost robbed him of air. You shyly looked back at him, expecting a response, reading his face for any signs of rejection.

"I love you too," he answered vocally, cupping your face with his hands to kiss you passionately.

Some weeks later, after more taunting each other with heavy make out sessions. You found yourself pressed against the mattress of his twin bed. Nearly naked, only your matching bra and thong were covering your body.

Seungcheol had wished for an opportunity like this. Somehow he was struck by a miracle when his parents told him they would be out of town, so he knew that was his chance to prompt this proposition to you.

Which, of course, you agreed to.

Seungcheol was bare from the waist up, his body hovering on top of you as he slowly worshiped your body, both with kisses and with his sweet words.

You were nervous, utterly embarrassed as you pressed your thighs together, your breathing had turned erratic, pathetically loud to your ears as you watched your boyfriend kneel on the bed before your body.

"Spread your legs for me, baby," he instructed with a soft tone, running a hand on your knee, caressing your bare skin.

You pushed your knees up and parted your thighs slowly for him to slot his body between them. And before he could press his chest to yours, you snaked a hand beneath you to unclasp your bra and removed the straps swiftly.

"Slow down," he chuckled and leaned down to press his lips against yours. "We have time, don't worry."

"I'm nervous," you admitted with a sigh.

"I know," he replied and smiled sweetly at you. "I'm nervous too," he confessed but he didn't look nearly as nervous as you.

Though he was.

"But you've done this before," you countered, blinking at him confusedly.

"It's the first time I do it with you, angel," he replied, pressing his lips on your face, then littering your throat with more kisses.

"I want you to like it," you muttered with a tiny voice.

"Why wouldn't I?" he asked, breaking away from your neck to look at your eyes. "Baby, I'm going to like it no matter what. Relax, I got you."

Seungcheol waited until you gave him a nod with your head and continued loving your skin with his lips. You tried to ease your head into his pillows and you tried to do the same with your limbs, relaxing into the duvet of his twin bed, which you noticed, smelled like his clothes usually do.

"Don't worry about me," he muttered into your ear, making you shudder slightly. "I want you to focus on what you're feeling. Tell me what you like and what you don't, okay?"

"Okay," you whispered.

"You can close your eyes if you want to," he offered before pressing his lips on your cheek.

You decided to keep looking at Seungcheol as he moved your bra aside with delicate fingers, uncovering your breasts to his eyes and he let out a soft sigh that landed on your skin, making it prickle.

You suppressed a sigh, your hands instantly reaching out to hold onto his shoulders and neck when he pressed his lips against your chest, just above your heart, smirking to himself when he heard you swallow back a whimper.

You flinched quite dramatically when his mouth reached down and took one of your nipples into his mouth, loving the taste of your skin, the smell of your perfume with a pleased groan.

Your hand traveled up from his neck and toyed anxiously at the short hair on the back of his head as he moved to kiss and lick your other nipple.

"Baby," he reminded you gently.

"Good," you croaked. "That feels good."

"Do you want to undress me?" he asked, pulling back to his knees on his bed.

You nodded and sat up, getting his belt and undoing the button and zipper of his jeans. He stood up from the bed and you sloppily undressed him, chuckling embarrassedly at yourself throughout the process.

You looked up at the growing bulge beneath his black boxers and instinctively reached for the elastic band and pulled the last piece of clothing on his body.

You bit your lip harder than before when you saw your boyfriend wholly naked and standing in front of you. He was fully hard for you already, the pinkish red tip of his cock was glistening with precum at his slit.

All the times you imagined him naked weren't compared to the real beauty Seungcheol was. Your eyes roamed from his broad shoulders, his lean chest, to the soft hairs trailing down from his belly button and joining his pubic hair.

Seungcheol was big, but you had figured that out already. But seeing him fully bare was something else. He enjoyed the look in your eyes when you couldn't help but to reach out and touch his milky white skin.

The muscles of his abdomen tightened slightly when you ran your fingertips over the soft lines marking it and down his meaty thighs. Darting a look up at him, you trailed a fingertip down the shaft of his cock, his breath hitching slightly at the feeling. You gingerly ran the pad of your finger over the soft ridges below his cockhead and swallowed thickly.

Seungcheol moved decisively towards you, pressing a knee on the bed then the other, making you crawl backwards on the bed and lie back down on his pillows.

His fingers hooked on the band of your lace thong you bought solely for the occasion and slid them down your legs slowly and you lifted your feet from the mattress for him to get rid of the thong and finally have you completely bare and exposed to him.

"You're so, so beautiful, baby," he said with a sigh, his big expressive eyes marveling at your figure on his bed.

"Thank you, Cheol," you whispered bashfully.

You averted your gaze when he dipped his head and started grazing kisses along your tummy and tried to focus on the sensations, your skin prickling, heating up, the arousal shooting like a bolt of lightning inside you with each kiss.

The blinds on Seungcheol's room were slightly parted, blowing in with the wind that filtered through the open window. It was a quiet, windy night, and the soft glow of the moonlight gave you the opportunity to explore his bedroom with your eyes.

Until his lips reached below your belly button, making you jolt slightly under him.

"Your skin smells so sweet," he pointed with a low hum and raised his head to show you a smile. "Did you do that on purpose?"

You nodded. "It's raspberry lotion," you explained meekly.

Seungcheol smiled, circling a hand on your hip and slid down your skin and pressed his lips on the inner side of your thigh, making you jump slightly again.

"Easy," he breathed, littering your skin with more kisses as if wanting you to get accustomed to the feeling.

"That feels good," you slurred, closing your eyes when a shudder ran from your legs to your face.

Then he pressed his tongue on your inner thigh, really close to your pussy.

"God," you gasped, opening your eyes wide and propped your weight on your elbows.

"Tell me if it's too much," he mumbled, trailing more open mouthed kisses until his lips reached your mound.

Your breath hitched and nodded. "Okay," you whispered, reaching out to graze his scalp with the pads of your fingers, eliciting a low groan from the man who was between your legs, the first person to ever be this intimate with you.

"Oh my god," you breathed when he gently and so, so slowly pushed his tongue between your pussy lips, parting your slippery folds with a generous stroke with his tongue.

His hands came to angle your thighs open for him when your first instinct was to try and close them. He pressed his mouth to your cunt, licking your arousal from your entrance with a groan that you felt on your soft flesh.

"Cheol, babe," you gasped, watching him ravage your cunt slowly, making the most loud wet sounds when his pointed tongue glided between your folds and swirled around your clit.

"Babe, don't stop," you whimpered, your hips buckling against his face when his tongue started flicking your swollen bud. He blinked and raised his eyes to find yours.

And he didn't stop, not to speak, not to rest and even though his mouth was starting to feel tired, he was determined to make you come first like this.

"God—Cheol," you mewled, feeling a tingling wave rushing through your body, intensifying by the second. "Babe, I'm there, 'm–"

You sucked in a sharp breath, shuddering violently on his bed as your orgasm flooded your body in hot waves. Overwhelming sensations invaded you as you cried out, your voice sounding raw and lewd. You felt it everywhere, not just between your thighs.

He pressed his lips on your clit and on your mound as he removed his hands from your thighs, using them to support his body by placing them at your sides.

"Good?" he muttered as he lowered the lower half of his body between your legs, without pressing his full weight on you.

His lips looked slick and swollen, and when you reached out to capture them with yours, you tasted your arousal on his tongue, making you moan at how lewd the act felt.

"Great," you breathed.

Your eyes had a post-sex glaze look on them, still breathing heavy, you looked heavenly this way. And Seungcheol loved that he was the reason why you looked like that.

"God, you're so beautiful, baby," he whispered, pressing his lips on yours between each word.

"Cheol?" you whispered, dragging his gaze back to yours.

"Mm?"

"I want you now," you mumbled with a sweet tone.

Seungcheol read your eyes briefly, looking for any signs of uncertainty, before he leaned his weight on one forearm at your side, his free hand grabbed his fully hard cock and guided it to your core.

You sucked in a breath again, when Seungcheol glided his cockhead down your wet folds with a low groan before nuzzling at your entrance.

Then he slowly eased himself into you, the fiery discomfort at your entrance was immediate, making your muscles contract and the scrunch on your face made him pause.

"Talk to me baby," he instructed softly.

"I'm okay," you breathed. "Keep going, please, Cheol."

He mouthed a 'okay' and pushed inside you slowly, his hand came up to cup your cheek to hold your gaze, your eyebrows knitted and your mouth parted, and he felt himself mimic your expression as he sheathed himself completely inside your warm, fluttery walls.

Seungcheol watched your beautiful features as he dragged his cock out and pushed in again, slowly, making your walls ease around him, adjusting to his size, letting him fuck you slowly.

Small moans spilled from your lips as the discomfort dissipated and soon turned into a warm, sweet pleasure, making your eyes flutter close and sigh blissfully.

Each drag of his cock in and out of you felt deliriously good. Seungcheol was slowly driving himself mad with your moans, with the feeling of your warm throbbing walls around him, taking him so good he was sure that you were made for him only.

It also made him a little crazy to think that it was your first time feeling something like this, to have him claiming you before anyone else. He shuddered and dropped his head on the crook of your neck, failing to control himself.

"I need to put a condom on, baby," he groaned against you, lifting his head to look at you.

"No, please. Just a little bit longer?" you immediately whined.

"I might not last long," he admitted shyly. "You feel so fucking good."

"You-you feel good too," you blurted.

Your arms were encircling him by his shoulders, your wrists locked behind his nape. You hummed a sigh when his hips pressed against you, driving his cockhead into a spot that felt just too good. Your walls clenched and he immediately pulled out with a low groan.

"I'm putting it on," he murmured, kissing you chastely before pulling his body up and reaching for a condom on his nightstand. He opened it with his experienced fingers and slid the condom down to his hilt.

Seungcheol slid inside you again, the contact of the latex inside you created a noise when he started delivering precise thrusts against you again. Undeniable, it felt different with protection, but it still felt good.

So good in fact that when his thrusts picked up pace, you moaned against the crook of his neck, the feeling of being so close, open and vulnerable with him so intense that you were sure you were losing what little sanity you had left.

"I love you," you breathed against his lips.

Seungcheol stifled a moan and his hand cupped your cheek again. "I love you too baby," he responded, lips grazing against yours.

He came not a second after you with soft moans and calling your name as he pressed his hips sloppily against you until he was rendered breathless on top of you, head resting on your shoulder as he blinked back to reality.

Seungcheol was in love.

Time flew by and soon it was your first anniversary with him. Still in love, still making puppy eyes at each other. Your relationship moved almost seamlessly without any issues.

You both loved spending time together, whether it was going out together or just chilling at home. Seungcheol had moved out of his parents house and started renting a small one bedroom apartment. Freshly graduated, he wasted no time and started working, which was something he was aching to do.

There were little disagreements, but you always found a way to talk and work things out. It was like you were a team, facing every single challenge together.

On your anniversary, Seungcheol prepared a dinner to celebrate the year you had spent together. He placed candles on the table and seemed nervous before he led you inside his tiny apartment, covering your eyes with his hands, chuckling all the way as you stretched your arms out in case you stumbled and fell.

"Ready?" he mumbled in your ear.

"Ready," you replied and he uncovered your eyes.

There was a flower bouquet on a vase sitting on top of the table, which you noticed were your favorite flowers.

"This is beautiful, Cheol," you started and turned around to face him.

Only to find him on one knee, a small blue velvet box in his hand. The glint in his puppy eyes as he looked up at you with such adoring eyes as your heart clenched.

"No, stop!" you whined. "You're joking," you laughed as your eyes brimmed with tears that spilled onto your cheeks when he laughed with you when you told on his prank.

He opened the box, revealing his gift to you, which was a pretty dainty gold necklace with a heart locket.

"Happy anniversary," he said with his goofy laugh and rose just as you cupped his cheeks to kiss him lovingly.

The laughter and the sparkle in your eyes made it an unforgettable night for him.

A memory he would cherish for a long time.

second year

It was your twenty second birthday.

And soon it will be your second anniversary with Seungcheol. And it seemed hard to believe how fast time had passed you by, and how fast Seungcheol became the center of your whole world.

He was your partner through a world of self-discovery. Did you want to try new kinks? He was all in. Did you want to try weed or shrooms for the first time? He'd take care of you—or do it together in a safe space.

You had so much fun together that he wasn't only the love of your life, he was your best friend. And you were still so in love with him, it seemed like a dream, almost.

As the second anniversary rolled around, Seungcheol made it a little tradition to get on one knee to present you with jewelry. The second time he did it, your heart jumped again but you knew what his plan was, which was to get that joyful look on your face.

This time, you knew that if he presented you with a ring, you would've said yes.

third year

Choi Seungcheol is a strategist to his core.

At least, that's what a lot of people say about him. He doesn't like to think too much of himself, but sometimes, when he pays attention to what the people around him say, they say things akin to him being thoughtful, always scheming, always analyzing.

Seungcheol was a hundred percent sure about you. From the first anniversary together, he started planning the day he would get down on one knee and ask you to marry him seriously.

At this point you had been together for three years, and not one single day he doubted himself with you. There were some setbacks, money being one of them, but he could manage. The only problem was dealing with your overbearing parents.

Steal princess from the castle, that was the name of his little plan.

In fact, as your twenty fourth birthday drew near, he thought of the way he would carry out this plan. One day, when you were away with your parents' for a whole weekend, he knew this was his chance.

He pressed the phone to his ear and waited for the line to be picked up. Chewing on his lower lip, sitting on his sofa with one leg crossed.

"Hi mom," he smiled when he heard his mother's voice greet him. Then he started picking on the hem of his clothes with his free hand as he said. "I need your help with something."

"Are you alright, baby?" his mother queried immediately.

Seungcheol noticed how nervous he sounded, added to his sudden ask for help and put in quickly. "Oh! Yes, yes, yes, I'm fine mom. Don't worry," he chuckled awkwardly. "I was thinking of picking you up later this evening for coffee and... I want you to help me choose a ring."

Silently, Seungcheol looked at the ceiling.

"An engagement ring?" his mother asked, a tinge of emotion twisting her words.

"Yes, mom," he breathed in. "I'm proposing," he nodded and gulped hard, trying to swallow down the emotions that coiled in his throat.

His mother didn't need to ask if he was sure, or if it was too soon. Because everyone knew how much he loved you.

Everyone knew you were end game.

fourth year

Every relationship has its ups and downs. But everything with Seungcheol seemed to be so good that it made you think that saying was just a fabricated thing to persuade people to stay in their relationships.

That was until you got in for a master's degree in a prestigious university abroad. It was a really big thing for you, a dream come true, really. But sadly you didn't get the necessary support to accept the offer.

Of course you wouldn't get the funding. Your family name was related to wealth, so why should anyone give you the funding when you could afford it yourself?

However, your parents stepped in, offering their help to you under one condition. Their condition was that you had to break up your relationship with Seungcheol, and once you finished your master's degree you'd have to marry someone they approve of. They'd cover all the expenses, the tuition, everything.

You just had to break up with your boyfriend. Marry someone worthy of you. They said,

You declined.

"What happened, baby?" Seungcheol had spent the past hour holding you as you cried and sobbed uncontrollably in his shoulder.

You had tried to tell him what had happened, but every time you opened your mouth a sob would have you breaking down in tears all over again.

"Baby, you're scaring me," he warned for the nth time, but he waited patiently for you, he rocked your body in his arm gently and kneaded your back with his hands attempting to soothe you.

The two of you were standing on the sidewalk outside the building where you lived with your family. Seungcheol had waited so long for you to speak that he was now leaning against his old car.

When he saw your figure hurriedly come out of the building, he supposed that you probably were running to him thinking you were late; however as soon as he saw your crushed face he immediately got out of his car to hold you, knowing that you were about to break down in tears.

He initially assumed the worst, his mind went to any possible scenario that could have you in such a state, and he voiced his concerns while rubbing your back.

"Has someone passed away? Is someone sick?"

Or perhaps,

"You've been cut off again?"

Maybe, maybe,

"Are you pregnant, baby? Is that it?"

The last two were issues he knew he could help you figure out.

He'd done it before, once your mom got sick of threatening you with cutting you off the will and allowances, she kicked you out of her house. Seungcheol would let you crash in his apartment, whenever you needed it. And he'd secretly wanted you to move in.

And if in one in a million chance he got you pregnant, well... He was all in with you. Whatever you decided, he was all in.

"I g-got accepted," you sobbed, but most of your words got muffled in the crook of his neck.

"What was that?" he asked softly and you sensed him lowering his face to look at your head in his shoulder.

"I got accepted," you told him more clearly, swallowing your sobs.

"Baby, that's great. That's your top choice, right?," his soft voice was a bit closer now. "Why are you crying?"

Seungcheol was well aware of all the post-graduate applications you did the previous year, and you had some letters of acceptance but you were waiting for the letter of acceptance and it had finally arrived.

He didn't really care if you went to another country; he wanted you to fulfill your dreams. He could wait for you, that was the initial plan, to wait for you while you achieved your milestone abroad.

"I didn't get the funding," you replied. "I didn't get it for any of the applications."

Oh. Seungcheol knew that you needed the funding, otherwise you were pretty much at a loss. Even though you had many other options, it would be really hard for you if you wanted to break away from your family's nasty hooks once and for all.

"And my mom told me they can give me all the funding, everything," you continued, now speaking fast as if you wanted to get the words out before breaking in tears again. "But they'll do it only if I break up with you and marry someone else when I get the degree. They weren't even pleased that I got accepted, it's like they were planning this."

Seungcheol just listened, but he couldn't help but feel a mixture of rage and anguish at what he was witnessing. How could they do that to you? You were their daughter, why would they try to sabotage you at any chance they had?

He knew your parents didn't hate him. Hate was earned. He just wasn't what they thought was 'good enough' for you. They were just waiting for what they called your 'little fling' to end, hoping that you would move on to what they considered a more serious relationship with someone they thought was more 'suitable'.

And by that they meant, filthy rich.

Granted, Seungcheol didn't make one small fraction of the money your parents made, probably never will. But he took care of you, he loved you. Wasn't that enough?

But he couldn't give you what your parents were offering. He knew that. He wasn't ready for that.

"You should accept," he said suddenly, he even felt like he was betraying himself.

You stiffened, finally looking up from his shoulder. "W-what?" you sniffed. "Cheol, are you listening? We'd have to split-"

"Not really," he muttered, seeing you so broken made him want to cry too. "We can still be together. Your parents don't have to know."

You smiled bitterly through your tears. "I'd be married off to someone else, and then what? They told me they already talked with some other family. They can arrange a marriage 'cause they're crazy like that."

Seungcheol knew just how crazy your family was. They were the kind of family that would whip out a binding contract on you if you agreed to marry someone else. They made the kind of money to hire a PI to follow you around because they didn't actually know who their daughter was.

Your parents didn't like what they found, obviously. And they could pretty much pinpoint the exact moment in your life when you started to feel more free. Such things they mostly thought were 'acts of rebellion'. And Seungcheol was your partner in crime.

He nodded and looked heavenward. "I can't give you what they can. I just don't make the money."

"I'm not saying that, babe. Besides, I already declined my mom's offer," you mumbled through your tears and whiny sobs. "I'm not breaking up with you."

"So you're not following your dream because of how I'd feel?" he looked at you again. "Baby, this is not what I want for you. You know that."

Studying abroad has been your dream since you could remember. You made it your whole life besides being with Seungcheol, if there was anything you could ever do for your whole life, it'd be reading, writing. You were always buried in books.

He cupped your flushed face in his hands. "This is your future. This is yours long before I was. I can't be the reason why you don't follow through. I just can't."

Your eyes met his and knew he was being dead serious.

"I won't break up with you. That's my final decision."

He sighed, but not out of relief. He hated arguing with you. Having arguments with you happened rarely, but you were just as stubborn as he was—perhaps even more so, and often pushed arguments for hours until he was the one who eventually gave in.

"Can we at least consider what I'm saying?" he proposed in a gentle tone, trying to convince you.

"I'm not keeping us a secret either!" you countered. "That's crazy, Seungcheol. Are you serious?!"

He visibly flinched when he heard you call him by his full name. "It's not crazy, it's a possibility, a plan."

You inhaled deeply, feeling the chill in the air as your fingers brushed his dark hair. He recently had it trimmed short on the sides, so he looked boyish and younger, even. He looked just like when you met him.

You loved him. Your love for him wouldn't be kept a secret.

"We'll think of something else," that was your final say about it.

It is true that Seungcheol had grown a bit disdainful of himself ever since your parents had let on their thoughts of him. You didn't have to tell him anything directly, he could sense it. The cold shoulder, the glares, the offhanded comments.

They didn't have to be straightforward with him. Seungcheol also noticed it in the way your parents treated you; the constant threats, warnings, always cutting you off, the blackmail.

It was easy, from the minute he witnessed your parents talk down to you he knew he would never like them.

Well, the feeling was mutual.

That grew into dark thoughts in his mind, a sneaky internal voice that would feed into his insecurities, every dark thought inside him and these would get stronger each time he doubted himself with you.

Not feeling enough can be suffocating.

"Babe, you split your lip," you told him, offering him a tissue he could wipe the blood that was now mixing with his drool on his lips.

He had been biting off the skin of his lips. He did that absentmindedly as his thoughts took him to a dark path.

"Thanks," he muttered.

The tissue broke in his lip and stuck to the slit in his lower lip but he didn't seem to notice. That made you smile softly and reach for him to remove the bit of tissue from his broken lip with your fingers.

"Here," you whispered, and noticed Seungcheol's big dark eyes lost on your face.

He had been doing this for weeks now. Losing focus every now and then, he'd lose sleep and forget things. He did these things whenever he needed to say something but didn't know just how to get there, he always needed some prompting from you.

But you just couldn't bring yourself to initiate this time.

It was almost a month ago that you told him the news about the offer for you to study abroad. And about the offer your parents had made. You declined your mom's offer, but ever since then, Seungcheol had been acting off.

Your hand rested on his cheek, and he closed his eyes briefly to kiss your palm with his bloody lip.

"I love you," he mouthed, almost as if he couldn't bring his voice to enact itself.

"I love you too, babe," you replied, seeing his face contorted in pain and frustration was eating you up on the inside.

You had taken a job as a teacher's assistant at a school near Seungcheol's apartment. It was so near that you always visited his apartment after you were done with your shift.

So you practically lived with him in his one bedroom apartment. You had a bunch of clothes stored in the closet of his bedroom, a toothbrush, the books piling up in a corner were yours too. You occupied a large chunk of the desk with your computer, piles of papers from your job and pink headset sitting next to his.

The reason why you had taken up the teaching job was to start making some money for yourself, and possibly to make Seungcheol see that you could manage without the help from your parents, maybe then he'd ask you to move in with him.

Why hasn't Seungcheol just asked to move in with him? You hadn't asked him, but it would probably have something to do with your parents.

You knew he felt a certain kind of insecurity when it came to the lavish lifestyle your parents raised you with. But you couldn't care less in reality. You had him, that was all you needed.

So now your focus was that, your job and Seungcheol. You tried to forget about your MA acceptance letters. When you got the final letter of acceptance from all the applications you made, you were aware that you had a limited timespan to return one letter in agreement, but you haven't made a reply yet.

Seungcheol knew that, he was also well aware that you had only a few weeks to make your final choice and it was driving him crazy that you haven't made one.

It was like he was the one deciding on your future and he hated it.

He hated when your parents wanted to puppeteer everything in your life, they made choices for you most of the time and he hated watching that.

So now that you were choosing him over the biggest opportunity of your life, it killed him.

"Babe, stop thinking about it," you muttered, your heart palpitating hard at the mention of 'it'.

He blinked slowly and found your face, his brow furrowing slightly. "I can't."

"We have tonight," you smiled softly at him. "We can take our minds off for now, can you do that?"

He pressed your hand against his cheek briefly before grabbing it to lock your fingers with his.

"I will but only if you do something for me," he smiled slowly–a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

You knew that look. It was the look of someone desperately trying to feel something other than worry and finally coming face to face with their remedy.

You pushed your eyebrows up, and you knew what was coming. "No."

"Please baby, for me?" his eyebrows knitted and his bloody lip hung out in a cute little pout.

"I am not doing it!" you yanked your hand from his and stood from the couch of the living room of his apartment.

"Baby, you love it, every time!" he laughed as you walked off to his bedroom to get ready for the friendly reunion he was hosting that night.

"You are such a child, Cheol!" you bit back, rolling your eyes.

He was soon delivering kisses on your nape, hugging you from behind. "Please, baby. Please, you don't have to do anything, just sit."

"I'm not sitting on your face," you snorted as you sorted the clothes that you had brought to his apartment over months ago.

"Mmm baby, you didn't seem to hate it this much last time," he said, kissing the crook of your neck. "In fact, you sounded like you loved it."

"It was hard to relax," you confessed, your hands slacking on your sides when you felt his lips touch that spot on your neck. "I kept thinking that I was suffocating you."

"Angel, you know if that happens I'd die happy," he giggled. "Please? Before we go."

That was also something he'd been doing: drowning his worries with sex. So suffice to say, he's been fucking you almost everyday, at any chance he can get.

"We're late already babe," you muttered, his lips kissing your shoulder, ignoring the strap of your tank top.

"Jeonghan can manage if we're late, don't worry," he mumbled, while his hands dipped beneath your tank top, pulling it up to caress your skin at your waist.

When you made no reply, because you were too busy thinking that he'd been fucking you a lot these days, probably to quiet the voices in his head—you heard him sigh softly, and you turned your head to see him smile.

"We can do something else if you want to," he suggested in a soft tone.

"We're going to be late," you repeated but as soon as his hand slid from your waist and under your panties, you knew it was game over.

You dropped your head back on his shoulder when his fingers dipped on your sopping core. You heard him smile, and your head was now angled back so his lips found more skin on your neck he hadn't kissed.

"But you're so wet baby. You're dripping on my fingers. You planned to arrive at the party with your pussy all wet? What then?"

"I'd just wait for you to drag me to any corner where you can fuck me in," you replied, knowing that would elicit a chuckle out of him.

"Mm, but maybe I've spoiled you too much—giving you my cock whenever you want it, letting you come when you want to," his voice was low, like honey pouring onto your ear.

You shuddered against his body when his fingers circled your clit expertly. He knew you so well, knew every inch of your body, where you liked to be touched, how you liked to be fucked.

You moaned softly when he pinched your slick covered clit between his index and middle finger.

"I want you now. Do you want it baby?" he asked in a feigned sweet tone.

"I always want you to fuck me, Cheol," you whimpered, his fingers pressed on your clit and started rubbing circles on it.

"Will you be a good girl for daddy?" his other hand had already busied itself too, sliding from your waist under your tank top to find one of your already hardened nipples.

Your mouth parted a bit, feeling a bit lost on the swirls of his fingers on your swollen clit, and his other set of fingers teasing your nipples.

Seungcheol might be drowning his worries with sex. But so were you.

"Mmm yeah, I can be good," you decided.

I mean, you could be late for a bit. Han would manage.

They say hurt people hurt people. But how can you hurt each other and bring comfort at the same time?

You never saw that you were hurting, but in retrospect, it couldn't have been more obvious. And Seungcheol was hurting, too. Pushing troubles away with sex and alcohol, you brought comfort to each other to ease the pain that was looming close.

What was the purpose of this party? You didn't know exactly, and you didn't ask. But lately you've been visiting Jeonghan's apartment every at least twice a week, for a different party.

Now, what prompts Jeonghan to throw parties? You suspected that he was fully aware of Seungcheol's need for a distraction, and the reason why. So like the best friend Jeonghan was, he made a pathetic excuse to throw a party at his house.

Seungcheol introduced you to his best friend a month into your relationship. It was the first time he introduced you to one of his closest friends and he was so excited, as he said he just knew you were going to get along with his best friend.

And that you did. You met him and you instantly clicked with him. As the years went by, he turned into something close to a brother for you. He even called you his little sister in an endearing way.

"What took you so long?" Jeonghan asked as he opened the door to his apartment. "Wait. Spare me the details," he chuckled as he embraced you tightly. "Happy anniversary!"

"Anniversary? Is that what he's saying now?" you asked, and looked over your shoulder to see Seungcheol already being stolen away by his friends.

Although your fourth anniversary drew closer, you knew that Seungcheol might be putting that as an excuse now. Even if your birthday was before the anniversary, you were suspecting he wouldn't dare use it as a real excuse.

Jeonghan shrugged carelessly. "I don't fucking know anymore," he laughed, looking at your boyfriend in the distance. "It's a new excuse every week, is it?"

"Yeah, I'm beginning to think it is," you muttered, resisting the thought that it was getting serious.

Seungcheol had a desperate need to avert his worries lately, which had turned into party after party every week. But now he was just saying anything to bring his friends over to Jeonghan's.

"Listen, I wanted to be patient and wait for him to tell me what's going on but, I'm getting worried now," Jeonghan announced, sucking in a long breath as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"He's fine, Hannie," you said reluctantly. "He's going to be alright, he just needs to let it out of his system."

And by that, the way Seungcheol chose to let it out was by turning to his vices: sex, gambling, drinking.

He was usually a fun drunk. Loud, energetic, happy. He was quick to organize a party around so he wasted no time and had already sat at a table with his friends to play drinking games.

"Are you sure that this has nothing to do with you not taking the degree offer?" he asked in a soft tone as you walked to his kitchen where he was picking on his food prior to your arrival.

"Han," you whined, darting a look to your unbeknownst boyfriend. "I told you I don't want to talk about it."

Jeonghan had turned into something like your confidant as well. Almost everything that Seungcheol knew about you, Han knew as well. Almost everything.

His brow furrowed a little, and two of his lithe fingers pushed a strand of deep red hair back and tucked it behind his ear.

"Neither of you want to talk about it," he rolled his eyes with a goofy giggle. "I guess I'll just wait until none of you sorry asses can't hang on any longer."

You laughed. "I suppose so, too. We don't deserve you, Hannie," you mumbled, giving him a squeeze on his shoulder before walking to your boyfriend.

He was sitting on a foldable table in Jeonghan's living room. The table was covered in cans of coke and bottles of soju, but in the center of it was a pile of bills.

A small sigh escaped your mouth. You felt tired already and haven't been to your 'anniversary party' for more than two hours now.

Seungcheol had already downed almost two bottles of soju when he lifted his head and found you standing before him.

"Hi beautiful," he murmured with a content smile, his lazy eyes scanned you from top to bottom once and with his free hand he took yours, pulling you gently.

You understood what he wanted and moved to sit on his lap in front of his friends. His hand gripped you by the waist and continued to pay attention to the game of poker he was playing with his friends.

Your cheeks grew hot at the very public display of affection and dominance but deep down you knew that you liked it.

Four years ago when you started dating Seungcheol, you slowly got a grip of just how possessive he was and you found out that you liked it.

He'd let everyone and anyone with eyes know that you were off limits. You liked that he made hickeys on your neck and chest so whenever someone darted a look at your cleavage, they'd see the marks from him.

And with the red strapless dress you were wearing, everyone glanced your way. It didn't show a lot of cleavage but it made your tits look so good that it drove everyone's eyes to take a peak.

So when you sat on his lap in the middle of their poker game, you couldn't help but notice the glancing eyes from his friends. Seungcheol couldn't care less that people looked, that was something he knew he had no control over.

No one would dare to do something more than just look.

Your boyfriend always encouraged you to dress however you felt like. And you did, every time you felt you were dressing too revealing or too provocative he would reassure you that nothing would happen to you around him.

You wondered if his friends even knew they had taken the bait. You knew you'd create a distraction the moment you sat on his lap, your lush thighs crossed, a bored look on your face.

Poker was a game that deeply bored you. You knew how to play, and you always thought it was not a game for you. It took time, money and strategy.

By the end of the game, Seungcheol gathered the money from the center of the table, and with a chaste kiss on your mouth he patted your backside gently.

"You won, baby," he muttered in your ear, placing a soft kiss on your earlobe.

You frowned in confusion. "No, I didn't. You did," you countered.

"The game turned in my favor when you appeared," he chuckled, looking up at you with a glint in his eye. "You give me luck."

"I do? And what do I get?" you asked playfully.

He offered you the roll of bills that was still in his grasp. But then a knowing smirk appeared on his cherry lips. You could tell that his eyes were glazed, a sign he was a bit drunk.

"You know I'm not talking about money, Cheol," you quipped, playing with his soft dark hair with your fingers.

"Oh, angel. You are greedy," he laughed and slowly reached for your lips. And then he muttered: "Let's go home."

As soon as you crossed his apartment door, he was already turning you around using one hand to yank you by your arm. You yelped as your chest hit his frame, quickly being shushed by the drunk kisses that landed on your face.

You made no attempt to slow him down, his hands pushed you to the nearest surface he could lay your body in. Your back hit the soft cushions of the small couch as you scooted your body across it with a squeal in pure excitement.

Seungcheol pulled your dress down by the hem of the chest area, yanking it down made it tear open a bit and the smile that appeared on his face made you think that he'd been wanting to do that all night.

He pulled back with a pleased sigh, his large hands taking both ends of the tear made in your dress and pulled harshly. Another yelp came out from you when Seungcheol tore the fabric on your chest in two.

"Babe! That's the second dress that you destroy," you tried to chastise him, but you couldn't help but smile. You kind of liked to see him so needy for you that he had to tear the clothes off of you.

But being so that your strapless dress was padded around the chest area, your bare tits sprung out when he tore it open. His smile grew bigger as he dipped his head to lick your nipples.

He didn't give you a reply, he just placed open mouthed kisses on the underside of your breast while a hand wrapped the other one and gave it a squeeze, making you squirm and moan when he started sucking your nipple.

Your hands searched the hem of his black t-shirt, pinching at the fabric to pull it over. He didn't resist, being a bit drunk made him forget about staying in the domspace for a bit so he pulled back and with one movement of his arms he got rid of his t-shirt, scrunching it into a ball and chucking it across the room.

"You're so hot," you sighed, letting out a chuckle at seeing your drunk boyfriend on his knees and between your legs.

The corner of his mouth stretched a bit into a grin. "You are too, angel. So fucking hot," he bent down to kiss you, two fingers grabbing your chin as his tongue dragged across your lip, then he paused. "Everyone looked at my baby tonight, I bet they wondered what was under that little dress."

You chuckled, returning the soft drunken kisses he planted on your lips.

"But only I get to look, right baby? Only I get to kiss you," he muttered, and to make his point across he trapped your lower lip to suck on it, and then he whispered: "Only I get to fuck you."

"Yes, daddy," you smiled, watching him continue to practically make out with your tits. You let out a small moan when he turned to suck your nipples again. "I'm all yours."

He stopped and smiled, lifting his head to give you a sly look. "That's right, angel. You're mine," he muttered, his hands gathering the sides of the torn dress to break the bit that was still sown together, tearing it completely.

He got rid of your red thong quickly and threw it over his shoulder where you couldn't see them anymore. At least he didn't destroy them this time.

"You will always be mine," he muttered with a fond look in his eye as he dipped his head between your legs, holding one of your legs over his shoulder and the other in his hand, angling it open for him.

He ran his tongue all over your cunt, making you scream in pleasure and grab his head with your hands. The strands of his brown hair tangled in your fingers.

Whenever he got tipsy, he would do this. He'd eat you out until he got drunk in your sweet juices instead. So he would run his tongue across your wet folds and your pussy lips, dipping his tongue on your entrance to get a taste of you, humming, moaning with you.

"Fuck, daddy!" you cried out, squirming involuntarily under his body. You arched your back, trying with everything you had not to push your hips against his mouth.

But you just couldn't help it. You swayed your hips forward ever so slightly, your pelvic bone bumping his forehead a bit.

"Behave," he warned, throwing you a look before darting the tip of his tongue around your clit.

You sucked in a breath, feeling the pointed tip of his tongue start to flick your clit expertly, knowing that would throw you over your climax soon.

"I'm–f-fuck," you stuttered, your body already twitching. "Daddy, I'm close. Let me come, please?"

You heard him lick his lips and you glanced down to see him. "You can come all over my mouth, baby," he granted before dipping his head to tease your clit some more with his tongue.

None of you cared how loud you were. Seungcheol loved the lewd sounds he got out of you, especially when all he did was make out with your pussy. You felt your walls clench erratically as you came on his mouth, your fingers clenching around the strands of his dark brown hair.

You blinked at him as he rose from the couch, undoing his belt with one hand and you sat up to get the button of his jeans and zipper with hasty fingers.

A hand came up to cup your chin, his fingers grazing your skin softly, commanding your eyes to his. Your heart twisted when you saw his adoring eyes looking at you as you got him out of his jeans and boxers.

He had been doing that lately. His eyes would briefly linger on yours during moments of intimacy. It made your heart ache as if clenched in a tight fist.

Seungcheol undid the strap of his wrist watch and let it drop to the pile of clothes on the floor. He sat on the couch as you moved to straddle him.

The following movements were precise, too familiar. You knew each other so well that there was no need for pause. So you simply angled his cock for you to sink yourself into it with a blissful moan and started riding him slowly at first.

You looked down at his eyes.

Seungcheol got caught up on the features of your face again, almost as if committing himself to memorize every expression, the way your eyebrows knit together, the way your mouth parts, the glint in your eye when your gazes connect.

"You're beautiful," Seungcheol whispered.

A sharp feeling in your chest robbed you of words, swallowing hard you dipped your head to kiss him softly.

Your hands grabbed at his wrists when he started kneading at your thighs, caressing the curve of your waist as you rolled your hips on his cock.

He loved the sight of you, the steady sway of your hips on his cock, your tits bouncing on his face, getting tired and more aroused by the second, the sweet moans you made for him.

"So perfect," you heard him whisper.

You swallowed back a moan when you felt his hot mouth on the swell of your breasts, then suckling at your nipple and teasing the other with his fingers.

"Daddy," you mewled, fingers sinking on his soft hair. "Fuck, that feels good."

His free hand caressed your back and secured a spot on your butt, cupping your flesh gently as you seemed to be getting tired, your breath had hitched and he could see that you were almost about to tap out.

"Do you want daddy to help you come, baby?" he asked with a sweet smile on his face.

"Yeah," you breathed and bit your lip in anticipation.

Seungcheol repositioned your body so your back was now pressed down the couch, your knees hoisted up his shoulders as he sheathed his cock inside you with a moan from both parts, and he immediately started slamming his hips against you.

Soon the tiny living room would flood with the sound of your lewd gasps and the slapping of his skin against yours as he fucked you into his couch. He knew your body so well that it didn't take him long to find the sweet spot inside you that drove you a little mad.

"God, daddy! So deep," you groaned through gritted teeth.

His eyes were lost on you, he knitted his eyebrows when you did as you moaned sweetly, pleading for him to not stop, your teary eyes glazing over his face as you neared your sweet, sweet release.

"Daddy, I'm cumming," you whimpered with a high-keen moan. "Fuck-k, daddy!"

Your eyes spilled some tears when you screwed them shut, sucking in a breath and your walls tightened around him. Seungcheol came so mind-numbingly hard that he groaned loudly, fucking his cum deep into you, his eyes still lost on your face.

Mind spinning, he eased your legs down from his shoulders to press his chest against yours as he attempted to regain focus. He felt your heart beating against his, your soft breaths, his cock still wedged inside your fluttering walls.

He didn't lower his full weight on you, but he knew that if he didn't recover soon, he would fall asleep on top of you.

When you felt like he might be falling asleep, you tried to budge under him. "Let's go to bed," you muttered softly.

He hummed. "Shower first, baby. Y'know the rules."

He peeled away from your body and stood up from the couch, promptly hooking his arms beneath your body and lifting you up.

You let out a groan in protest, but didn't complain any further because he had a point. The wet sensation making its trail down from your core was enough to make you go along with him.

He started the shower while you were in the middle of the bathroom, which was more cluttered with your stuff than his.

"Come on," he muttered lazily as he extended a hand to you, stepping on the shower with him.

He cupped his hands to gather water and he poured it on your shoulders. "Is it too hot?"

You shook your head and he proceeded to clean your body.

Seungcheol looked focused as he gently covered you in soap. You practically beamed at him, no matter how many times he did this, you always found it endearing whenever he washed your hair and body because he did it with a lot of care.

"You're okay?" he asked, taking one of your hands to rub your arm with soap.

"I'm fine, Cheol," you cooed and lifted your other hand for him to repeat the same process.

He hummed and nodded with his head briefly, his eyes inspecting your whole body as he covered every inch in soap.

"Turn around for me, baby," he instructed and you turned your back on him, the gentle stream of warm water landing on your face as he washed your back.

His wet dark hair was sticking to his forehead as the gentle stream from the showerhead above you warmed your body. He hugged you from behind and pressed his lips against your cheek.

"I love you so much," he whispered, pressing his lips repeatedly on yours. "Go to bed. I'll be there in five."

"I love you too, babe," you muttered before stepping out of the shower to dry your whole body with a towel and prepared for bed.

You practically slumped on the bed, where you had a designated side, marked by the small pile of books on one of the nightstands.

Five minutes later, you felt the bed sink behind your body on the weight of Seungcheol's body. He quickly grabbed your body in his arms and hugged you tightly, pressing kisses on your naked shoulder.

You thanked the warmth emanating from his body as he cuddled you beneath the bedsheets and bed covers.

A moment of silence happened between you. It should've been normal, but something in you sensed that Seungcheol was trying to get something out of his chest as his lips pressed long kisses on your skin.

"Love? Are you asleep already?" he muttered softly.

You turned beneath the bed sheets to face him.

His eyes wandered from yours, and into the distance behind your back. His brow furrowed ever so slightly and you saw how he choked on his own words before he could even utter a single one.

"Let's sleep, okay?," you suggested, your heart dropping at the sight of him being so troubled.

He nodded, blinking sleepily at you.

You smiled and cupped his cheek with one hand, which made his brow relax and his hand came up to yours, pressing his cheek against your hand.

"I love you," he whispered.

The next morning, you woke up to the sound of your phone buzzing below your pillow.

You had but one message from your mother, detailing that her and your father were just coming back from their trip overseas and that they had just sent a driver to come pick you up because they were eager to see you.

You huffed. That was pretty much an euphemism for: 'We know you haven't been home since we left and we're not happy about it.'

That was pretty much like a routine for you, so you left your phone aside, just as a heavy arm circled your frame and pulled you closer to his.

"It'll be my birthday soon," you pointed with a small voice. "I'm turning twenty-four."

"I know, baby," he replied with a small frown, trying to egg you to get to your point.

"Maybe... I think it would be nice for us to start planning to get together–," you took a deep breath. "I wanna move in, with you."

Seungcheol allowed your words to sink in for a moment, not just for him but for you too, as if giving you a chance to elaborate.

"Would you like that?" you asked, shifting slightly on the pillow. "I mean, I practically live here already. And I'm making money, I'm sure we can manage..."

You could see the gears in his brain turning, his dark eyes reading your face over and over. His silence was unsettling and as the seconds went by, you started to feel nervous.

"What about your graduate acceptance?" he finally asked, his voice sounded almost like a croak, and you weren't sure if it was the raw emotion of finally touching the subject or the fact that you both had just woken up.

You shrugged slightly. "What about it?" your voice quivered slightly. "I can try next year, it's no big deal."

"No big deal, really?" he repeated slowly. "Baby, what are you even saying?"

"I can try again next year, maybe they'll give me the funding for the research next time," you fretted slightly beneath the sheets, an instant giveaway that you weren't sure of your own words.

"Why are you doing this?" he blurted, and the words sounded as if he wanted to ask for a whole month.

"Do what?" you frowned slightly.

"You're turning down this opportunity, your dream opportunity, why?" he asked.

"I just think that it might not be the best moment for me to take it," you mumbled, again, that tinge of uncertainty lacing your words.

"What?" he cringed. "You're joking, right?"

You paused, unable to give him a reply. Not because you didn't want to, but you didn't know what to say.

When you didn't say anything at all, Seungcheol sat up on the bed with a sigh. He rubbed his face and then brushed his hair through his fingers, a clear sign that he was getting heated.

"Cheol," you started, trying to get him to look at you. "If I go away right now, we're losing time together and I don't want that."

"You're telling me that you're turning down a once in a lifetime opportunity for us?" he asked, and you saw him shake his head slightly, but he was still not looking at you. "Can't we do long distance? Can't we take it up when you get back?"

The questions he was asking were honest and valid. But in your perspective, it was time lost.

"In a year and a half?" you pressed. "And you know we won't be able to do long distance, it will be nearly impossible."

"It will be better than you missing out on the opportunity to build and achieve your goals," he countered sternly. "I can't believe you're turning this down."

At that, he rose from the bed, throwing the duvet and sheets aside and opened his drawer to fish out his underwear and put it on silently as your mind reeled.

You sat up on the bed as he slid a pair of black sweatpants and turned to your direction.

"Say something," he urged.

"What do you want me to say, Cheol?" you started and shrugged again. "I've made up my mind. Why can't you just accept that?"

You rose from the bed too and copied his actions by finding your underwear and putting it on silently.

"I just want what's best for you," he said, a hint of vulnerability in his voice.

"At the cost of what we have?" you asked, knowing that you were threading on a dangerous path.

"Why does it have to be that way?" he asked, and you could sense the desperation in him just by hearing his voice. "Baby, this is your future and you're putting it on the line, for what?"

"For you, Seungcheol! For us!" you turned, your voice rang hoarse. You knew that it was wrong to raise your voice, it wasn't needed.

But you were in pain.

And he knew that.

"I don't want this," he muttered through gritted teeth.

"You don't want me?" you asked, your chest had started to heave in remorse and tears welled in your eyes.

He rolled his eyes in utter annoyance. "I want you to choose what's best for you and maybe right now the best for you is to follow your dream."

"What if what I want is to be with you?" you asked despite the feeling that maybe you were stepping on a line. "What if I tell you that I want to start a life with you?"

He ran his hands over his hair and his eyes rolled back again, but this time he just looked straight at the ceiling. "Since we know each other you wanted this," he shook his head slightly. "I can't believe that you just changed your mind in the span of a couple of weeks."

"But what if I have?" you sniffed loudly as tears ran down your cheeks. "What if I choose you? You don't want that?"

"I want you to choose yourself for the first fucking time in your life!" his words hung in the air between you two, but as soon as he uttered them, he looked like he wanted to take them back immediately.

But it was too late.

He was right.

But you couldn't give him that, you just couldn't see it at that moment.

He was right, but so were you.

You stood there, frozen. Feeling like an idiot. For four fucking years, all you did was choose him over everything. Half of your life was in that apartment; your wishes to move in with him and finally start your life far away from your family.

But now, you felt pushed away.

Seungcheol looked scared for a second, his mouth agape and widened eyes, as if waiting for your next move.

"Baby, I'm-,"

"I'm leaving," you declared, scrambling to get your clothes from your drawer in his bedroom. Hot tears blurred your vision as you tried your best to dress up quickly.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that, just-"

"No, Seungcheol. Don't baby me."

"We need to have this talk," he insisted, chasing you all over the bedroom as you dressed up.

"There is nothing to talk about. I'm done. I'm taking my mom's offer."

"What? Just like that? I say one wrong thing and that's it?" he asked, his voice strung in pain and confusion.

This can't be happening, he thought over and over.

You scrambled desperately for your pants, anything to put on.

"No, you're right," you told him. "You're always right. I should choose myself. I am so fucking dumb for thinking I was doing the right thing by choosing you."

You didn't dare to look at his face, but you knew that it hurt. It hurt saying it and Seungcheol stopped chasing you in his room as you found a top to put on.

"Don't do this," he said as he tried to take your arm, which you yanked from his grip.

"Do what?!" you snapped, finally looking at his face as you finished dressing up. "Do what, Seungcheol? You are leaving me with no choice. So, do what, exactly?"

Your voice rang with rage and despair. And when you faced him, you probably conveyed those emotions in your eyes because Seungcheol's expression just broke.

"This! Not talking it out, trying to hurt me," he gritted. "We need to talk about this. Or else, you're going to leave to another fucking continent and where does that leave us, me?"

Your steps were determined as you walked away from him, creating a physical and emotional distance between the two of you. He stood there, a mixture of frustration and despair written on his face.

"I can't tell you that, Seungcheol," you uttered through a broken voice. "That's something you'll have to sort out alone."

His eyes narrowed and tilted his head to the side just slightly, shoulders slumping down in defeat.

"What are you saying?" he asked, his eyes searching your face frantically and in sheer disbelief.

"Maybe we're not ready for this, Seungcheol," you told him despite the crippling pain in your heart. "Maybe I need to figure things out by myself."

This was happening. Despite all Seungcheol's planning, scheming, despite all his love, you chose this. You chose yourself.

So he had to make his choice.

"So this is it?" he asked, his eyes dead.

Your head nodded, chest heaving. "This is it."

The silence between you grew heavy, so heavy that Seungcheol felt nearing a breaking point.

"I never thought we would end like this," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Neither did I," you replied.

A broken sigh fell from his lips, choking up from the sheer pain invading his chest. "Is this what you truly want?"

"It is," you whispered.

You watched him swallow hard and then he nodded, balling his hands into fists, gritting his teeth as he accepted your choice, thus finalizing his.

Everything inside him screamed in pain, pleading with him to fight harder, to make you see what he saw but he just nodded.

He was letting you go.

The reality was, you and Seungcheol had given up.

It didn't feel real. The air was almost sickening, it made you dizzy.

With a last look, you walked away, leaving behind a piece of your heart and the remains of your first love, your first everything.

You left his apartment, slamming the door on your way out, tears blurring your vision as you hurried down the stairs. Your head was buzzing, and your chest hurt so much that you never noticed that Seungcheol changed his mind and followed you out the building.

But as soon as he saw you get in a black car, tinted windows and drove away, he knew he had lost you, you were gone.

And that you were, for two years.

✧ a/n: hiiiii ᨐฅ

i cried while writing this, and that's a first for me.

i hope this flashback chapter wasn't confusing haha. if it was, feel free to comment or send me an ask!

› so who do you think was in the wrong/right here? reader or seungcheol? i wanna know your opinions ‹(•⩊•)› i'd say they were both dumb and thought themselves to be undeserving of each other and threw it all away at the slightest bit of conflict haha

once again, this was loosely proofread, am sorry

if you liked reading this, please let me know? i'd appreciate a comment, reblog, like or even an ask! my ask box is always open and i love to know your thoughts on anything ૮₍｡´ᴖ ˔ ᴖ`｡₎ა

↣ i want to dedicate this chapter to @cvntrlseecvntrlvee, who kept the seungcheol brain rot alive and kicking, 💟

✧ READ PART 4 ✧ | JOIN MY TAGLIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTERS

toodles

© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

It's a Match! || poly!141 x Reader

[Chapter 29] || [Chapter 31]

Pairing: 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.4K~ cw: injuries + recovery Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: johnny is a filthy man :) but also we love him so is that a problem? no, it's not.

Chapter 30: Playing House

It took a while, but, Simon got healthy, and John and Kyle got their soreness’ settled enough to be able to go back to work.

Johnny, however, needed a little extra TLC. Being shot in the shoulder involved a longer period of medical leave, paired with a long while of physical therapy…

And that means that he decided to make himself your problem.

The rest of the lads left on a mission a few days after being cleared and, as such, left Johnny with you. Not because the lad is incapable of looking after himself, but more so because he, himself, decided he didn’t want to be away from you.

And so, whenever you leave for work, Johnny leaves for PT, then, goes to base for a bit, mostly doing work on things that he can feasibly do without straining his left shoulder/arm… Like doing paperwork and reports, going to the gym for cardio, crunches, and leg and hip workouts… Then he comes home to you.

He goes shopping for you, cooks you dinner, cleans after the two of you, despite your insistence that he rest… But, as it turns out, Johnny isn’t good at that.

Nonetheless, the flat is cleaner than ever before, Johnny’s drawing supplies are permanently stationed on the dining room table, next to your laptop, and some of his clothes have taken a permanent spot in your closet.

And, of course, he spends every night in your bed, spooning you from behind and hiding his face in your neck while you watch tiktoks, talk, or he regale you with the most ridiculous of puns.

In a way, it’s like Johnny MacTavish is your live-in boyfriend. Or, rather, that you’re playing house with him.

You wouldn’t say you hate it. In fact, it’s quite nice to have someone staying with you all night… Johnny is a good partner, he’s helpful and chill and provides wonderful cuddles…

Though you’ve jokingly started calling him ‘Johnny Price’, because, since he hasn’t been working for a month now, he’s let his beard grow out. And he looks like Price more often than he does not.

It’s on week three of your new routine with Johnny when you’re at work, that you get a text from him:

Johnny: guess what bonnie. Johnny: [1 Video Attachment]

You definitely should’ve put on some headphones before you watched that video during work… His grunting and groaning was almost pornographic and definitely earned you a few confused/worried looks from your coworkers…

But all you could think of was how he was finally easing back into his arm/shoulder workouts, which meant he finally got cleared by his PT to do as such!

you: did you finally get cleared johnny? 🥺 Johnny: cleared at 50%. Johnny: not there yet. but soon. you: I’M SO PROUD OF YOU! 🫶🫶🫶 Johnny: thank ye bonnie  you: this calls for a celebration! Johnny: i like how ye think bonnie but im not cleared yet to be able to manhandle ye 😏 you: get ur mind out of the gutter johnny price!!!!!!!! Johnny: oof not ye still calling me that! you: ur beard is looking like his what do u expect of me! 🙄 Johnny: yer right idk what i expected. Johnny: so about this celebration. you: i was thinking we go out for dinner? Johnny: are we going to dress up nice? you: i wasn’t thinking we’d go somewhere super fancy because i do not have money johnnyyyy Johnny: oh good because i dont think i can button up a shirt my shoulder is sore 😖 you: okay then! nando’s!!! 🫶  you: and i’ll give you a shoulder rub when we get home Johnny: speaking my language bonnie.

And so that’s what you did. You went home in a hurry to shower and change, and, for once, Johnny wasn’t there, having chosen to shower and change at base.

You met up in front of the Nando’s closest to your flat and you immediately chuckled at the sight of him. Sure, he had changed, but he was still very much wearing a pair of jeans, sneakers and a grey zip-up hoodie… Although you could very obviously tell he was naked beneath the hoodie.

“Mo leannan.” He murmured in an exaggeratedly polite tone as he popped the door open for you with his good arm.

“Thank you, my good sir…” You joked, which caused you both to chuckle and shake your head.

You got inside, ordered your food and, as you talked, you site adjacent to him, right on his left side, so you could gently rub his arm with your hand.

“Do you miss the lads?” You ended up asking him as you caressed his bicep and shoulder with your hand, watching him wince a bit at it, because he felt so sore from his first workout.

“A little.” Johnny admitted as he looked toward you. “Do you miss ‘em?” He returned the question. You found yourself nodding in reply.

“Having you here is wonderful though… I… quite miss you lot when you’re all gone together. Not to mention I worry sick for you.” You admitted and pressed your lips together a bit awkwardly.

“You do?” He asked you, to which you nodded. So, he continued. “Well.. I guess I understand. I imagine my mam and sisters worry about me too… As do the Kyle and the Captain’s families.” He conceded.

“That’s actually…” You found yourself trailing off as the waiter brought you your orders and you thanked him, unboxing your food so you could dig in.

“As I was saying…” You trailed off. “That’s actually an interesting point… I feel like I know very little about you and the guys’ when it comes to your personal lives… Outside of hobbies and what you do with me.” You mused as you glanced at him as he dug into his double chicken burger one-handed.

“I don’t know much about the others myself to be honest with you.” Johnny admitted as he stole one of your chips off your plate.

“Really?” You asked softly as you ate your own sandwich yourself, nodding along as he continued speaking.

“We try to keep our… ‘outside’ lives under wraps. Even being a team… what we talk about is always very superficial.” He trailed off.

“So you don’t know anything about the rest of them, nor them about you?” You cocked a brow in confusion.

“Oh, no, bonnie, I talk about myself a whole lot, I’m a blabber mouth, me.” He joked and winked at you. “But family is one of those topics that’s best kept under wraps in our line of work.” He told you as he leaned in, rubbing his thumb on the corner of your mouth to wipe it clean of peri-peri sauce. Then, he sucked his own thumb clean.

“What about me? Do I get to know about you?” You asked him playfully as you leaned forward, setting your elbow on the table as you lean in to him, eyebrows raised in intrigue.

“Tell ye what, bonnie.” Johnny leaned toward you too, licking his fingers clean and then wiping them on a napkin before he set a hand on your thigh under the table. “Anything I tell ye about my family is not going to do them justice… So how about I take ye up to meet my family over the summer… And ye meet them directly? Could even take the Captain, Simon and Kyle with us.” He offered.

Your eyes widened a bit and you blinked away the surprise, staring at him like he had grown a second head.

“Meeting your family? Really? Isn’t it a bit early for that…?” You chuckled a bit sheepishly.

“Aye, maybe it is…” He trailed off. “But at this point, I’m basically livin’ wit ye and ye’ve looked after me in sickness, haven’t ye?” He joked. “And I’ve fended off yer ex… so I’ve looked after ye in health, haven’t I?”

Rolling your eyes in amusement, you shook your head. You knew he was just joking, the look in his eyes showed it… “Are you implying that we’re married, Johnny?” You teased him playfully.

“I’m just saying…” He trailed off playfully, a playful smirk on his lips. “And, if we were married, not saying that we are,… I’d make sure to take ye home tonight and rearrange yer guts if ye let me, mo leannan.”

Looking away and biting your lip, you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Shut it…” You trailed off. “You need to rest, your shoulder’s bad still.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t use my mouth on ye… and that you can’t be on top.” He added before he grabbed another one of your chips and popped it in his mouth.

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@daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling ,

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@kitwithnokat , @stick-the-dumbass , @mothsdrabbles , @justanerd1 , @thesinsoflust ,

@thriving-n-jiving , @blckbrrybasket

[3eyesdivine]

Reigns’ Girl

Chapter One : At First Glance

inspired by the movie Miller’s Girl and song Teacher’s Pet.

warnings ; 18+ only, smut, intimate & heavily erotic scenes, teacher x college student plot, angst, thriller, obsession, drug use

The world of writing is something incredible, isn't it? The way words can fit together so flawlessly and draw you in to the scene you're seeking for with every word you read. So incredible, you are unable to shift your focus away from it. It's almost—what's the word? 

Ah. Pulchritudinous. 

In other words, the world of literature is breathtaking and heartbreaking. In a favorable or unfavorable way? Who knows? It depends on how the individual perceives each word they read and how they interpret the meaning contained inside those words. Interesting, right? It's like a billet-doux, a love letter for bibliophiles.

With my brain clouded with thoughts, I enter the classroom of the professor recommended to me by a close friend. Mr. Reigns. Full name, Roman Reigns.

His back was turned to face me as he wrote the task list on the blackboard in white chalk, and I took advantage of the opportunity to let my sight roam down his obviously muscular physique. His shoulders were huge and broad, almost splitting the shirt he was wearing in half. His waist was small but not petite, just ideal. And his hair was bound in a loose bun, every strand.

“Hello? You’re early.” I heard a deep, oh so deep yet silky voice speak, and I was abruptly pulled out of my own little world of borderline infatuation. 

My eyes shifted away from his frame and up to his own gaze. His expression was a combination of perplexity and interest.

“Only by a couple of minutes.” I respond with a little, shy grin upon my lips.

The spacious classroom grew quiet for a moment as the two of us were stuck where our feet stopped us, like our shoes were superglued to the hardwood flooring. Mr. Reigns eventually took the initiative, clearing his throat as he set the chalk in his palm down and stepped down from his desk to the one I was stood at, designating it mine as I placed my books and materials on top of it.

"You're new to this class. What's your name?" He inquires, laying a paper on my desk that calls my attention, my curious gaze drawn to the vast list of books and classroom rules. "Ah, I hope this isn't too overwhelming. It contains a list of books that I require my students get familiar with." 

I tilt my head, nod gently, and delicately touch the antique wooden desk beneath my fingertips.

"It's Lilith. Lilith Dumas, and I’ve read them all."

He looks at me with a tinge of amazement and some disbelief.

"I mean the books, Ms. Dumas. Not the syllabus-" 

I cut him off, causing our sentences to overlap.

“I know. I'm telling you, I've read them all.” I say matter-of-factly. 

The corners of the man's lips lift for a second before dropping, only to rise again as he laughs briefly. I'm assuming he's impressed. A nineteen-year-old girl has read over twelve literary works, and he'd be terrified if he was aware of any more than that. How can a girl my age have so much free time, given her youth? I'm certain that's the precise question on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn't want to pry into the life of girl in her first year of college. I know.

“Ok. Impressive.” He praised, a hint of a smile still lingering over his lips.

“Well, uhm..” He claps his hands together awkwardly, looking down at his feet before looking back up at me. “I hope you enjoy my class, Lilith.”

Yes, say my name again. Please. Oh, please.

“I know I will, Mr. Reigns.” I reply, my tone surely dripping and drenched with seduction, even in the slightest.

Fighting back a smile and a burning blush hot to the touch, I settle at my desk as the rest of the class rushes in. My little hands brush over my short skirt as I cross my legs, but my gaze is fixed on Mr. Reigns, who is staring back at me after observing my silky legs alter their position. My brows raised briefly in response before the man turned away from me and proceeded with instructing the class. 

It was only our first time meeting and this man, Roman Reigns. Mm, even his name feels like honey on my lips, and I want to yell it at the top of my lungs. Yell it out of love and desire!

I'm not well over my head with this; my mind isn't in the clouds, and my feet are firmly planted on the ground. This is reality…

My reality, at least.

As wrong as it is, as dangerous as it will be. I want this man. It’s not okay, it’s crossing a line and it’s riskier than who knows what.

But I made up my mind anyway, made it up at first glance and I promise, I’ll get what I want.

No matter the lengths.

Thank you for reading! Chapter two will be up hopefully tomorrow!

In the meantime, send in some requests and if you'd like to be tagged in this series and many more works of mine, don't be afraid to let me know.

[elly99]

Higher Dimensions

Minji x Reader. Established relationship. Heartbreak.

A/N: Another short story based on a movie or two. Curious if you can tell which ones. Coming out of retirement for this one but likely going to be inactive again for a long time. Life stuff. I just wanted to get this story off my chest. Sorry that it's Minji again but usually it's her voice I hear in my head when these stories come to me.

Wonder if anyone will still read this. If you do, hi! I missed you. And if you're new, I hope you enjoy! <3

If you could see your whole life from start to finish, would you change anything?

“Hey, baby?”

You're both on the couch. She's in your lap, her head gently pressed against your chest. You know she hears your breathing. And probably the way your heart beats a little too fast when she calls you.

“Mmm?”

She has her phone in her hand, gripping it on one side and allowing the other to rest against you. Your arms are around her. And as you mindlessly watch the TV over her shoulder, they make a subconscious effort to pull her closer, even though there's no space left between. No distance left to close.

“Are higher dimensions real?”

You smile slightly. It was the kind of thing she asked towards the end of the night. When the room grew dark and your minds wandered into their own worlds. When tiredness caught up to you and sleep began to draw its veil over your eyes.

“Why are you asking?”

Only your screens lit up the room, keeping you connected in the darkness. It allowed you to barely make out her smile in return.

“Have you been watching weird videos again?”

She laughs. But it's soft. Barely noticeable above even the sound of the quiet television. But you recognize it. The vibration as it moves from her chest into yours. And you swear you fall for her all over again.

“I just thought you'd be the right person to ask.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I don't know,” she pauses. You see a smirk creeping onto her face. “You just seem out of this world.”

Immediately, she buries her face in your chest, hiding the smile that would have definitely stopped your heart if it hadn't already.

“Minj…”

You resort to laughing as well. Pull her even closer.

“So,” she says into your chest before turning her sleepy eyes back up to you. “Are they real?”

Her words were nothing but a whisper now. So you answer just as quietly.

“I mean, they exist in math. And, who knows, they could exist in the real world but we're just not able to perceive them.”

“Is there a way someone could?”

“Theoretically, with a change of perspective, yes. Like, imagine we're beings that live on the edge of a circle. And we can only move along that edge. Kind of like walking along a straight line around the earth.”

You watch her eyes flutter as she loosely follows your fingers trace a circle in the air. Maybe she's trying to imagine it. Maybe she's falling asleep. But you continue anyway, explaining it more to yourself now than to her.

“From that one-dimensional perspective, we basically live on just a line and we have no reason to believe it's anything else but a straight line. But for someone who can see higher dimensions, they can see the curvature. And that there's a whole other dimension above the circle, too. But how we could make that change in perspective, I don't know.”

“Yeah…” she trails off. “But that's cool, though!”

You've heard that before.

“You didn't get any of that did you?”

“I do get it! I swear.”

You content yourself with her answer. After all, who cares if she didn't really understand? Who cares about higher dimensions and different perspectives? This is the only perspective you need. Looking at her when she's here in your embrace. Her touch as warm as the sun. If only you could bottle up this feeling – the way she makes you feel so alive, so loved, like nothing else matters in this world – so you could keep it forever.

But she speaks again.

“And only they can see that you just go in a loop.”

Not even you had considered that. You nod and continue her thought.

“Yeah, you're right! They'd be able to see your whole path at once, while you can only experience it from beginning to end.”

Silence envelopes the room. She lets her phone lock. The TV dims and asks if you're still there. It's too dark now to see her clearly. There was no indication of the passage of time. It felt like an eternity before she eventually makes a sound – a sniffle.

Then she asks, “If you could see your whole life from start to finish, would you change anything?”

“I-I don't know. Maybe if something really bad happened, but I don't think so. Would you?”

You feel her shift up to kiss you. Her cheek brushes against yours and as it does you feel the unmistakable touch of moisture. It lingers. Even as she rests her head back on your shoulder. It lingers.

“If I could see my whole life, even if I knew all the good and bad things that would happen, I would always choose you.”

As you both drifted off to sleep, your last thought was that of a promise. That you would do the same.

But that was then.

And this is now.

Your whole life moving in a straight line, on a collision course with this singular, inevitable moment.

It's the same apartment, the same couch, but the lights are blinding now. Every emotion, every expression, every tear and quivering lip was as clear as day. Every word like a knife that you felt so viscerally.

She's crying. Apologizing. Pleading.

You're angry. Confused. Desperate.

“You're telling me you knew this would happen? You never really planned on staying with me, did you?”

“Baby, no! I-”

“Don't call me that.”

You see her heart break in her eyes as you cut her off. But you feel nothing. You can't feel. Not after your own heart was just shattered to pieces.

“So that's it? You're leaving?”

“I don't want to. But I can't… I can't stay.”

Your eyes fall to the floor.

“You always knew didn't you? That we'd have to break up once you debuted?”

Her silence was her response.

“Did I really mean anything to you, then?”

She answers with another question.

“You remember that night you asked me if I would change anything if I could see my whole life? Well, my answer's still the same. I would always choose you no matter how painfully it has to end. Because you made me happier than anyone else.”

She desperately clutches at your hands, hoping that the physical pressure of doing so would force you to understand.

“Then why do you have to… Why did you have to…”

But there's no use asking more questions. You already know all the answers. There's no going back now. This is the only way forward. Your life is a straight line. And so is hers. And they only intersect for a brief, bittersweet moment.

Perhaps it is simply human nature to be bound by this rudimentary linear logic. Who are you to think you can escape it? So you resign yourself to letting her go. Because you love her. You remember your promise. And you accept all the joy that she was, and all the pain that she will be. And you imagine a different world. A circle where there are no beginnings and ends, where time is frozen still. Where you could be with her. Always.

[ram-bam-writes]

Pendulum Bloodshed [Phillip Graves x/& Shadow Co]

A/N: Thank you to the lovely @pampanope for the lovely art that inspired this shit… Pls for the love of all that is holy and un, give her some love!

Summary: With Graves’ sole focus on getting all of his Shadows out to safety, he gets himself caught by the Konni group — who’d like to have a few words with him. His Shadows, ready to draw as much blood as necessary to bring their Commander home and give him justice, don’t waste any time making a lesson out of those Konni scum.

CW: panicked Flannel (oc), irritated 7-11 (oc), paternal Peaches (oc), crazy and unrealistic uses of radar lol, interrogations, language, graves being a little shit, a pendulum will always swing both ways… no beta we die like soap, etc

Word Count: 3558

“I’ve lost him…” It’s the last thing any of them want to hear from Flannel. The man’s in his place for a reason — he can find anyone. Between tracking their comms devices, their phones, and fuck, even the not so subtle tracking device in their tac-vests, Flannel is always able to find each and every member of Shadow Co. 

While the young soldier isn’t technically a soldier, and rather an eye-in-the-sky for Shadow, the rest of the team trusts the man to do his job.  So for Flannel to utter those three heartbreaking words… it’s nothing short of shock-inducing. 

Flannel tries not to let the tremble in his fingers affect his typing as he enters the devices’ identification numbers again and again, but each to no avail. He’s got nothing — he’s truly lost their Commander.

7-11 and Peaches watch as the young not-soldier bites his knuckles through the rough fabric of his fingerless gloves, eyes glazing over. After all, he’d been the reason the Commander was taken in the first place, even if that weren’t the entire truth.

“If I had just seen it…” He whispers after removing his hand from his mouth, ignoring the light trickle of blood that seeps through the open slots of the finger holes. “Fuck… That was my job. Mine…”

A hand rests against his shoulder, another prying his lightly bloodied hand further away from his mouth. Flannel swallows thickly, looking up at the surrounding Shadows, lip beginning to quiver. It’s a new feeling for him. He’d never lost someone before, let alone a commander. 

“We’ll find him, Flan…” Peaches whispers soothingly, gently cupping the young Tech specialist’s jaw. “Take a breath…”

It’s easier said than done, really. Despite everything Peaches did to calm the young Shadow over the course of his contract with them, Flannel’s mind won’t stop running.

“Let’s just take a moment—“

Flannel stands abruptly, white-knuckling the table in front of him. 

“We don’t have a moment! Every moment we wait means more pain for Commander Graves! We don’t have time!” Flannel nearly chokes on his own breaths. “I don’t have time!”

Peaches stumbles back a little, not necessarily out of fear, but out of the knowledge that Flannel is not in the right headspace for this. They need their commander back, and for that to happen, they need the one person who puts a tracking device on everyone to be in his right mind. So 7-11 takes a step forward, patting Peaches shoulders before standing in front of the tech soldier.

“Flannel…” 7-11 croons, a hand resting on the frazzled man’s shoulders to steady him, something that’s become a habit. “Tell me something… If I’m talking over the comms, and it’s an emergency, what do you want more: clear instructions or rushed explanations?”

“I…” Flannel’s shoulders slump, his arms flopping by his sides. He’s never been good at the whole ‘calming down’ thing. “I want clear instructions…”

“Even if they take a while to relay?”

He nods. 

“Why?”

“… Because mistakes happen when communication isn’t clear…” “A little more specific…”

Flannel huffs, blinking back his tears. He refuses to meet 7-11’s intent eyes, not quite ready to admit that he needs to slow down just yet. “Because mistakes happen when… when things are rushed…”

As 7-11 nods, and Flannel is pulled into an excruciatingly strong hug by Peaches, face buried in his large chest. “That’s right… you’ve got time… you’ve got enough time to use those skilled fingers of yours and figure somethin’ out…”

He wants to laugh like his fellow Shadows do at the tease, but he can’t get himself to. Instead, he opts for a simple, “Okay…”

After wiggling his way out of the bone-crushing hug he was in, Flannel drops back in his seat, staring at his computer screen. His hands rest on the smooth, hot metal, eyes scanning every little detail. Flannel’s mind has several tabs open, all intermingled together in that spider web the Commander loved so much.

Peaches and Flannel share a look. It’s no surprise that the young not-soldier is struggling. He’s not someone who’s actively in the field — no, he’s the one that’s in the sky or on the ground, hidden away from view, calling out commands and directions and alerts. He’s a multitasker; someone that can handle seeing thirty, forty dots move around on a map, knowing every single one by heart.

He may get frazzled and confused when he’s overwhelmed at times, given how quick his mind works, but he’s always managed to be pulled back down by the rest of the team. Graves and the team put their trust in the man for a reason — something 7-11 and Peaches have to remind the boy of often.

———

Three days. It’s taken three days of searching the island head to toe, and still, nothing. Frustrated, yet still calm, Flannel paces the room with his knuckles back between his teeth. 7-11, Peaches, and a few other higher ranking Shadows stand around the security room, watching the boy pace.

“Okay… what do we know from the Bug?” 7-11 finally asks, eyes fluttering open after a brief inhale to look at the others. 

They’d finally gotten past the rubble of the damaged buildings to uncover the Commander’s vest. It gave the team hope, given that a bug was collected and reviewed by everyone in the current team. It had taken almost thirty minutes for Flannel to re-wire the bug to collect the data, but once he got his hands on it, the team started to buzz with urgency and hope.

“The Konni group…”

“… about thirteen men.”

“They didn’t shoot Graves—“ “—they just held a knife to him.”

“One used his first name…”

“And I think I heard one say something about a warehouse.”

“Yeah, somethin about interrogation…”

“On the coast?”

“Like some kind of shipping dock?”

“I don’t think so — they said he was right where he needed to be…”

“Then a store warehouse?”

“By our building?”

“Yeah… and…”

“… dark, but… and… not there…?”

“Likely… if not… Graves…”

“…”

Flannel’s eyes flutter closed, the sound of the Shadows around him silencing, something Peaches had taught him. Take a breath, close your eyes, figure it out. Slow and steady, exactly like 7-11.

He opens them once more when he stands, walking over to the large map of Ashika Island. He lets his eyes wander over the different buildings, the landscape, the pins…

Ashika Island wasn’t very large, right? He’s here, where they wanted him — so a nearby building… Konni’s been a bitch for ages now, fighting us over and over… but the building… the only shipment areas are in the coast, nothing closer. His pinpoint is still in the same spot they took him. They took off his tracker and hauled him away. Ten minutes, not very far. No eyes in the sky, no vehicles on the ground. So where’d they come from? His pinpoint is still… The labs…

“Fuck.” Flannel’s sense of spacial awareness floods back in his senses, quickly turning to look at the other Shadows. “Beneath us.”

The others stare at him like he’s insane, a chorus of what?’s filling the room.

“Beneath us!” Flannel rushes back over to the computer. “Ashika Island had labs beneath the islands! Beneath! They didn’t take off his fucking gloves.”

Peaches reaches around and grasps Flannel, spinning him in the chair and leaning close. “Clear. Communication.”

But 7-11 has already connected the dots, his low, steady voice filling the room. “A month ago we cleared out the labs beneath Ashika Island. But we didn’t ever go back down there.”

“Because we crumbled the labs, didn’t we?” Peaches asks, loosening his grip on the younger man. He glances between the two Shadows in front of him, before realization dawns on them all.

“But we didn’t crumble them all. We only crumbled the external entrances. If there were connections we hadn’t seen when we blew them to smithereens…” Flannel’s eyes are wide. Peaches finishes his sentence with a simple, “Konni could have… found a way in…”

“No vehicles outside, nothing in the air… They didn’t leave. We really were right where they wanted us. Right above them.” 7-11 grits his teeth, fist pounding the table. “Literally right under our noses…”

It’s as if the entire room has been cast in a frigid, icy chill. Not once had they thought to sweep the underground labs consistently. Why would they? There was no way up, not to them. A dull anger fills the Shadows in the room, the realization that even a single entrance left open has given Konni the chance to infiltrate blurring their already frazzled brains.

“Gear up--” 7-11 commands, leaning over Flannel in the process. He lowers his head, eyes narrowed. “How are we getting in?”

“I don’t know…” Flannel’s eyes search the map, looking at what little info they have about the labs beneath Ashika Island. “Maybe I can find an echo sounding device on one of the nearby ships…”

Peaches doesn’t need to be told twice. “I’ll get the Night Hawk set up.”

“No, not the Hawk.” As calmly as ever, 7-11 stares at the larger Shadow. “These are civilian ships — let’s not scare the fuck out of them?”

“…” An exhale. “Fine. Little Bird?”

“Better.” 

After a nod from the self-designating acting commander, the Shadows filter out, fully intent on getting their Commander back. 

7-11 leans against the wall, his eyes scanning over the young not-soldier as he types fervently across the computer.

“Hang in there, Sir…” Flannel whispers, his eyes searching for reassurance in the older Shadow watching him. His hands fly to his neck, pressing on the comms link connecting all the Shadows as one. As a whole. “I’ve found a marine biology ship about three clicks from the coast. They’ll have one, Peaches.”

“Yup yup…”

~~~~

He hadn’t meant to let his guard down — hell, he hadn’t. But his guard wasn’t up around himself, that was the problem. No, his guard was up around his team. His Shadows. His… his family. 

And there was no way in hell he was gonna let any fall into the hands of the Konni scum that seemed to appear out of the blue. It irritated him to no end, not knowing how he’d let this happen. But they only had him — for whatever reason — and for that, he’s eternally thankful to whatever god exists above.

So maybe it isn’t so bad, being tied to a chair with itchy, rough rope. It was better this way, he thinks. Even with the ache of his ass from the jagged wooden chair beneath him, there’s no fear in his mind.

His Shadows are safe — that’s all he cares about.

Thwack!

Graves sputters up blood, the copper taste filling his mouth as the cut on the inside of his mouth drips crimson onto his tongue. Three days of this hell and all he can do is grin. Did Konni really think he’d give up info so easily? 

“Really? That’s all y’all got? Yer really underestimatin’ who yer talkin’ to, ain’tcha, boys?” He can’t help himself. Maybe the Marines taught him to stay silent, but he loves to be a brat. It’s a power play, really. Fucks with the dynamic; shows he’s not afraid. And pisses off his interrogator. 

For better or for worse.

A Konni soldier leaned close, spinning the metal pipe between his fingers as he eyes the Commander, voice dropping low to utter, “We’ll get you to talk, don’t you worry your pretty little head…”

Graves isn’t quite sure why his skin crawls at those words. Maybe it’s the buzz in his mind from a lack of food, or maybe it’s the way he knows Konni can do anything to him. It might even be the way he can only see out of his left eye — that is certainly irritating him.

“Do as you please, boys, but you sumsabitches ain’t gonna be happy when my boys find ya…” He threatens lowly, if only to keep the facade up. He knows he’ll slump and tremble the moment they leave him for the night, but for now, he can keep this mask up. He has to — if he breaks even an ounce, his Shadows will die.

But the Konni don’t react in anger, merely staring at the man as though he is nothing more than dirt on their shoes. They want him for information or for blood — they don’t care what. And at this rate, they don’t doubt that the rest of Shadow Co will be after them. After all, their team doesn’t leave a man behind, and Konni group knows that.

But for now, if only a little, Graves has comfort in knowing that his team will be after him, sooner or later. He knows his men well — they won’t let him down.

His only hope is they don’t get hurt in the process of trying to save him.

~~~

“Shit, that’s him, ain’t it…?” Peaches practically purrs, pointing at Flannel’s screen. The latter nods, making the entire company sigh in relief. “Thank heavens…”

Peaches, 7-11, and Flannel are huddled around a small tablet in the latter’s hand. Miraculously, the team had managed to intercept a civilian cargo ship with building maintenance equipment inside of it, including the ground penetrating radar system they needed. 

7-11 peers around Flannel’s shoulder, looking down at the not-soldier with a cautious gaze. “So where’s the entrance? We knew where the Commander was this whole time — how do we get there?”

Flannel’s eyes search around their current location, deep within their base. It’s been an exhausting few days, but they’re finally getting close. “Somewhere to the north, based on the hallway I can see on the device…”

“You heard him!” Peaches barks out suddenly. “Let’s find those Konni scum.”

A chorus of ‘Yup Yup’s echo off the walls in the room, almost becoming a radar in and of itself. 7-11 pats Flannel’s shoulder, offering a content nod before leading the small group of Shadows around. 

“Alright, keep going north — towards the back entrance, I reckon…” Flannel’s voice echos through their comms device, something familiar. It helps their shoulders relax, if only a little. 

Familiarity and routine is a soldier’s preference.

“Copy, we’ll keep you posted…”

“As in you’ll let me know when you found it or I’ll find myself hearing an—“

As if on cue, the entire base echos with the sound of an imploding wall. 

“… explosion…” The ensemble of laughs and snickers that ring through the comms eases Flannel’s worries more than he’ll ever admit. “Go get ‘em, boys… I’ll watch yer backs…”

~~~

Graves’ weak laugh echos through the empty interrogation room at the sound of Konni suffering. Bleeding from the nose and several lacerations on his torso, he instantly finds himself regretting the laugh, but the pain is quickly forgotten at the sound of a door pushing open. 

Graves lets out a weak groan, “Took you long enough…”

7-11 hardly finds humor in his words, far too concerned for his commander’s well being to care. He gently cups the commander’s cheek, eyes filled with a delicate glint. “Better late than never…

His hands drop to Graves’ knee, absent-mindedly rubbing the smooth surface. He nods as Peaches rounds the commander, pulling out a blade and grasping at the bindings on his wrists. “We’ll cut you loose. Any injuries we should know about?”

Graves scoffs a bittersweet laugh as his wrists are cut free, shaking his head softly. “Nah, just a bit roughed up…”

7-11’s eyes focus on his body. The crimson, metallic blood seeping from his lips, the superficial but throbbing cuts on his torso, the purple and blue puff around his right eye… He suppresses a low growl.

“No food… sips of water… clumsy beating with a side of mockery…” Graves eyes flutter, the blood loss starting to catch up to him with the loss of adrenaline. “Just the standard shit…”

An eerie silence falls over the group of Shadows, everyone’s eyes focusing in on 7-11. The man in question, however, seems too preoccupied with Graves to care — or comment, in this case. He always knows.

“Right…” He takes a slow, deep breath, eyes closing for a moment before reopening. 7-11 can’t let his thoughts drift too much, lest he loses his cool in front of the man he needs to take care of. “Peaches, escort the Commander back to the medic. Princess treatment.”

Behind his mask, the massive man grins, wasting no time reaching down to pick up the smaller commander. His touch, despite his size, is delicate, concerned only for the commander’s wellbeing.

“C’mon, I’ve got two functioning legs, I don’t—“ Graves eyes go wide when Peaches’ arms snake around his waist and thighs. “WOAH, hey!”

“Humor us, sir…” Graves rolls his eyes at the voice of his beloved Shadow, but grins into Peaches’ chest anyways. 

“Fuckin’ excessive… just sayin’.”

7-11 smiles, but it’s strained. Not at the commander, though. “Only the best for you.” At something else entirely.

“I’ll watch yer back, Peaches…” Flannel coos, trying not to have a heart attack at seeing two blinking lights wandering closer to him. Closer to safety.

“Please stop squirming, sir.” 

“No can do, Soldier.”

7-11 might have enjoyed the banter if he hadn’t been seeing red. Blood thrums in his ears, hands clenching into fists to suppress showing any anger towards his fellow Shadows. “You guys found one of ‘em hiding?” “Yeah. Fucker hid while shit went down.”

A nod.

“He’s tied up and isolated.”

“Good.” The seething Shadow barely spares the others a glance, eyes set and focused on the room next to them. “Because I want to have a word…”

"Y'know, Peaches... a Pendulum will always mirror its previous actions the opposite way, just as hard..." Flannel purrs over the comms link, watching as 7-11's tracking device heads towards a secluded, empty room. "And I think I know a man who's about to embody that precept..."

~~~

The creek of an old cellar door is far too loud for this situation. Huddled in the corner, a Konni soldier sits, a bag over his head and arms tied behind his back. The male tries to breathe, his adrenaline pumping as he struggles to. With tape over his mouth and fear filling his sinuses, he feels as though he’s choking on his own breath.

“Whoever hired you and your buddies is gonna be disappointed…” 7-11’s voice echoes calmly, the epitome of the eye of a storm. He rips the bag off of the Konni soldier’s head, eyeing him lowly. “You could’ve died a quick death alongside your friends there…”

“But here you are…” 

If the sound of a butterfly knife in the Shadow’s hands could instill any more fear, the pathetic man on the floor might have spontaneously combusted from how easy it was for 7-11’s to flick and spin the knife open.

“So, thank you for being a coward…” His eyes are wide and frantic, body starting to squirm at the Shadow’s dark words and the blade taunting his face. “You’ve given me an opportunity to… repay the… hospitality you’ve shown my Commander.”

“Tenfold.”

~~~

The fact of the matter is… simple, to say the least. No one dared ask 7-11 what was left of the Konni soldier they found. In fact, most are sure that he was beheaded right then and there.

But once the Commander had been tucked safely away in an infirmary room bed after a nice hot meal from the canteen, Flannel and Peaches figured it wouldn’t kill to ask.

“C’mon…!” Flannel practically whines, kicking his legs above the floor, firmly sat on top of the nearby AC unit. “Just tell us!”

Peaches snickers softly, rubbing the shorter man’s head, nodding along. “We can keep a secret…”

7-11, who’s eyes are focused on the mirror in the training room, rubs his wrists. He’s been thinking about that moment for a while, and even calmed down, he longs to have done more. “There’s nothing more to be said.”

“Augh!” A huff falls from the techie’s lips, crossing his arms. The action earns a fond laugh from the massive male besides him, head tilting to watch 7-11. “And you had to remove your comms gear before that!”

“And what if I said I blacked out for most of it?” 7-11 questions. “What if that’s the truth?”

The truth? 

Heh.

The truth is, 7-11 gave back what his commander had gotten. Insults, cuts, punctures, blunt force trauma, bruises, blood, gore, and humiliation. All while seeing red. 

So red, in fact, that he knew the worst punishment of all was to chain the Konni scumbag to the wall at the end of it, not sparing a glance while the others demolished the underground tunnels. 

The burn in that man’s lungs from the gunpowder and dust is hell. 

The blood pouring into his lungs from several lacerations is horrific. 

But the knowledge that no one will ever come for him until his last, blood-filled breath leaves him is perhaps the most gut-wrenching of them all. 

Because even six days later, he’s still gasping out wet breaths because his body refuses to die.

“The commander is safe, and Konni has gotten what they deserved. That’s all that matters, hmm?” 7-11 grins, throwing a harsh hit to the punching bag, finally sparing his fellow soldiers a taunting, bloodlust-filled look.

[christinesficrecs]

Any recs where Talia or the hales absolutely hate stiles or disprove of their relationship? I’ve already read the searching ceremonies.

hedwig221b (don't feel awkward! 🩷) also had a fic that matches this ask. So, go read that as well if you're a fan of the angst.

The Happiest of All by Hedwig221b | 32.5K | Explicit

“It’s every wolf’s dream. To find a perfect mate, to procreate. It’s a necessity, it’s healthy. It’s in our blood; akin to the moon in the sky, a wolf belongs to their mate. And humans don’t have the capacity to become a mate.”“But I love him,” Stiles whispered, begged.Talia stayed silent for a couple of minutes.“That’s why you should understand it’s not healthy for him to be with you,” her words were simple and clear, like a piece of glass, but sharp all the same. “He will not find true happiness with you. You’re wasting his time. Preventing him from having a future he deserves.”

Also, compromised-emotionally suggested this one.

Down By Contact by standinginanicedress | 117.4K | Explicit

Lydia looks over her shoulder to look at Derek Hale again, then back to him. “He’s an asshole, you know.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Stiles is confused, furrowing his brow. “I’ve only spent the last ten years of my life fighting with him.”

“Yeah, but, I mean, he’s an asshole,” she draws the word out nice and long, as if it takes on a different meaning depending on exactly how she says it. “No one who has ever dated or hooked up with that guy has ever had anything nice to say about him after the fact.”

“What do I care about that?”

She looks at him. It’s that all-knowing, all-seeing gaze, like the eye of Mordor. Stiles feels tiny under its wrath, so he looks away and stares down at his beer can, traces the design with his thumb. “I know you, Stiles Stilinski.”

“Not really. We only dated for, like, five months.”

With a snort, totally uncharacteristic of her and something she would never do sober, she rolls her eyes. “Gee, I wonder why.”

Hmmm. Not really, but here are a few.

Divided We Stand by  KouriArashi | 156.7K

Derek is being pressured by his family to pick a mate, and somehow stumbles into a choice that they didn’t expect and aren’t sure they approve of….

A Pair of Shoes by ReedMeme | 5.7K | Explicit

He was the human boyfriend. A lot of them don't really approve. Of course his boyfriend had to have a huge family. Which makes sense with the whole Werewolf thing, he supposes. But once in a while, Stiles still wishes he knew that before falling abso-fucking-lutely head over heels for Derek Hale.

Hello, Heartbreaker by  astoryaboutwar | 18.4K

Stiles and Derek have been fuckbuddies for a while when Derek loses his memories of the past three years - and them - in an accident.

Talk Me Down by SylvieW | 26.3K | Mature

After the Hale family narrowly escapes the fire, Derek moves to New York to escape their lingering resentment. There, he meets Stiles, and feels an instant connection to him, but their relationship, and Derek’s self worth is tested by the hurdles Derek’s pack throws at them

I Would Fake Forever With You by Halevetica | 53.9K

Derek Hale is the black sheep of the family, always has been. That’s why he moved to Seattle. Now he’s got a job he loves, a nice apartment with an incredibly hot and endearing neighbor, Stiles Stilinski. One night when Derek’s overly large and demanding family shows up early for their yearly visit, they run into Stiles, who is accidentally introduced as Derek’s boyfriend.

Taught by Experts by unpossible | 29K

“Let me get this straight,” Stiles says. “You’re going to be publicly dating someone else.”

[eatmangoesnekkid]

Like Suki beautifully and confidently said in one of her ratchet interviews “I come from a long line of whores.” I grew up in a family system where most of the women were incredibly sassy and sexual. Later in life I found out that at least 2 were even a bit whorish—which would have been fine if they weren’t so riddled in shame and guilt about their secret lives. The inheritance of sass and a high sexual nature were the reasons my mum fell pregnant with me as a middle-aged woman. It was odd (and still is) for a woman to give birth to a child when she was (is) in her mid-40s. For the first few weeks after her period stopped, she thought that she was going into menopause, Finally. Little did she know that it was just her plump root and sacral energies activated. And now she was pregnant with me. It took me years for me to learn to move this energy throughout my body so that I could stop attracting lovers who just wanted to fuck, but didn't want to adore and love me. Venusian woman, learning to convert your abundance of sacral energy up into your heart, throat, and 3rd eye will probably be your biggest work in this lifetime. I utilized deep diaphragmic breathing. Connection to nature. Lots of forgiveness work —forgiveness makes your heart softer and belly more relaxed and even smaller because toxins are released and your energy starts to flow freely again. You are not holding onto anything or needing anything from anyone. The key with forgiveness is that you must eventually elevate into a spaciousness where there is really nothing to forgive. You have no desire or need to hold grievances or blame or shame yourself or another human soul. When you need nothing, energy blocks dissolve. The debt clears and resistance and tension are lifted. Your heart frees and new narratives sow. Forgiveness that eventually evolves into the spaciousness where there is nothing to forgive sets your body, energy, and memories free. Back in the day when my lover was male, I would suck his dick often by candlelight or in the bright natural light with my heart full of joy and an ocean of tears in my eyes. Time ceased to exist and I would be sucking him like a God with an abundance of water streaming down my legs and face. Open-hearted lingam worship is primally nourishing, expansive, relaxing, and energizing to the female body. Any kind of heartfelt, vulnerable oral sex is an act love and worship—divine energy, especially when you consciously draw the slippery honey and heat sensations up from your sacral into your spine, heart, throat, and 3rd eye/forehead area. I unconsciously started threading my dances with some neck, shoulder, and throat playfulness, similar to the Ethiopian dance "Eskriska" to loosen the tension around shoulders and heart so that energy could flow into my 3rd eye without being blocked. Tight or painful shoulders express for a variety of reasons: pushing yourself too hard, poor posture, experiencing anxiety,worry or fear of heartache therefore you walk around bracing yourself for a blow or impact, or attempting to control life. Learning to give relief to your shoulder relaxes your body and quiet worries and concerns and permits higher consciousness to circulate. Lots of belly work--everything from belly massages to speaking life into my belly, giving it commands and decrees, playing jazz songs to my belly to stimulate the energy to flow upwards towards my heart. Lots of spinal flexion like the “cat cow." Professional pelvic care for 6 months. Too much concentrated sexual energy will always express in shadowy ways. It also makes you too watery and overly-empathic, easily taken advantage of, resulting in tremendous heartaches and heartbreaks. I ascended from a long line of strong medicine people: healers, herbalists, dancers, mystics, housekeepers, educators, lovers, and warriors. One day Aunt Verna had a little bit too much to drink and blurted out in the kitchen that 2 women in the family line were also whores. I pretended not to hear. --India Ame'ye, Author, Venus Energy and Its Management

[acatalystrising]

I’m back!

I know it’s been a while. 2024 hasn’t been kind to me, and my creative spark just wasn’t there. But I’ve had so many stories I’ve wanted to write, and as always, Boba has been there as a comfort character to get me through. So, now as the year is drawing to a close, I want it to end better than it started…with new content!

I’m currently writing the next chapter of Moth to a Flame, but in the meantime, here is something entirely new, the first chapter in The Way That You Were! I hope you enjoy!

(Also, @daimyosprincess I finally wrote this! So sorry for the delay 😅)

Pairing: Boba Fett x (F)Reader

Rating: Explicit 18+

Trigger warnings: Injuries, blood, emotional distress, abuse, capture

Series synopsis: A desperate bounty crash-lands on Tatooine and seeks sanctuary in the palace, only to discover the greatest bounty hunter of all time rules from its throne. Will she find mercy, death, or something more?

Ch 1 - These Burning Sands, Your Scarred Hands

“I’ve found, in my experience, that the most desolate place can bring healing. Wastelands can flourish. Heartbreak can mend, and love begin anew. Even the mighty desert can once again bloom.”

You didn’t remember the crash, only that you’d awoken to the charred wreckage of your ship, blood stained clothes, and the acidic tang of grief heavy on your tongue.

You honestly didn’t know how you survived, tangled in the debris. Part of you wished you didn’t.

Despite this, you kept going.

Forcing yourself to climb from the wreckage, even as your vision spun. Searching it for anything you could salvage, finding very little. Realizing that it had nothing left for you, and you’d hopefully have better luck moving on. Ironically, your past was also something better left behind, just as smoldering as the husk of metal you were abandoning.

You weren’t familiar with this planet, one your ship had registered as Tatooine before it had plunged into the atmosphere, one that boasted the biggest desert you’d ever seen. In fact, you wondered if the entire planet was just one massive, windswept wasteland.

Your pain had reduced to a pounding headache, nearly distracting you from the burn of muscles unaccustomed to traversing a desert’s shifting terrain. It couldn’t distract you from the deep gash in your shoulder, out of your reach, the extent of the damage unknown. There was no point in staying with the ship, not when you needed to disappear. You were alone, wounded, and running out of options.

There were too many hunters after you, but perhaps you could disappear on a planet as vast as this one. Maybe the sands would be your savior, instead of your doom.

You peered up at the setting suns, a fierce burning duality sinking behind the cresting dunes. They made the sand shimmer, and for a moment, you could have sworn the fiery light transmuted the sand to gold. Despite your circumstances, it was beautiful, but your awe didn’t last. It would be dark, soon. Despite your lack of desert experience, you knew it would only grow more dangerous once night fell.

You had to find shelter, quickly.

You stopped on the sloping hill of a dune, boots sinking in the sand, and cast a glance back the way you’d came. The faint dark trail of smoke from your crash was still evident on the horizon, cutting through the sky like an ugly wound. You hoped you’d made a far enough distance away, even though you had absolutely no idea where you were going.

Your crash was a beacon…one that would draw far too much attention.

Sighing, you crested the dune with clenched fists, blood trickling down your arm and dripping into the sand, blossoming like a macabre flower. Great. You were no doubt leaving an easy trail that even the most inexperienced welp of a bounty hunter could track. You didn’t want to think of the experienced ones.

Your vision blurred, and you blinked, panic finally, truly, setting in. You were losing blood, moving too slowly, and rapidly running out of time.

You turned your quivering gaze ahead, eyes wearily scanning the horizon, falling on a massive building that seemed cut from the rock itself. It was tan, like the sands, sporting a domed roof that was a stark contrast to the jagged rocks surrounding it. And judging from the lights you could see from within, it was occupied. You found yourself trudging in its direction, despite your reservations.

You would die out here, injured and alone, and finding shelter was your best option.

You only hoped it wouldn’t cost your life, but at this point, you had nothing to lose.

-

The building towered above you like a waiting beast, maw-like gate slowly opening wide with a grinding roar.

You felt every bit like a mouse entering a trap, a deep fear setting in your chest when two armed Gamorrean guards approached, eyes narrowed to suspicious slits. You doubted they saw you as much of a threat - your weary frame and bloodstained clothes surely made quick work of that assumption. As you suspected, they merely grunted, gesturing for you to follow.

I’m doomed, you thought, as you stepped further into the dark cavernous maw beyond.

The sand at your feet was cool, and judging by the sheer size and craftsmanship of the hewn stone around you, this wasn’t a mere home. It was a fortress.

Perhaps the mouse had jumped right into the loth cat’s stomach.

The halls were long and narrow, but surprisingly well lit. You didn’t see any signs of filth or decay, which was astounding for a place in such a seemingly seedy area, but you knew first impressions weren’t everything. Anxiety twisted deep in your gut when you heard a bark of raucous laughter somewhere ahead, every alarm ringing in your frazzled mind. The Gamorreans walked on, framing you between them, a silent reminder that you were trapped. But you’d come here willingly, perhaps foolishly, seeking shelter - and you didn’t have anyone to blame for whatever would happen to you then yourself.

Even if you’d never intended to land on this maker-forsaken planet.

Despite that fact, you felt fear creep down your throat when you reached a set of downward sloping stairs, a multitude of voices echoing from within the chamber.

Your knees locked up, but the Gamorrean behind you gave your shoulder a nudge with a grunt. Pain flared to life, and you winced, nearly tripping down the steps as you entered the room, heart hammering so loudly in your ears you thought it would burst.

Your eyes swept the room, which was filled with all manner of ilk, and your heart sank even further upon realizing very, very quickly, that many, if not all, were likely bounty hunters. Your gaze was pulled to the center of the room as if gravity itself demanded your attention, and your world ground to a screeching halt. Only one thought managed to escape your panicked mind before terror and recognition seized your heart.

You should have let yourself bleed out in the desert.

Maker, I am such an idiot.

An idiot who was about to die. A fool who had gone out on a limb, one last ditch effort, to survive. Instead of being rewarded for your final act of desperation, fate had decided to give you the most cruel, ironic end possible.

Because sitting before you, impossibly broad frame sprawled on a carved throne like the very Galaxy was his footstool, was none other than the notorious king of the very beasts you’d been trying to outrun.

Boba Fett.

His dark green helmet tilted down at you, the angle harsh and predatory, torchlight flaring like shattered glass on his visor as a terror unlike anything you’d felt before settled its way into the pit of your stomach.

You were a dead woman walking.

There would be no escape. The Gamorrean guards stood behind you, narrow eyes fixed on your every move. A dark clad woman with a deadly rifle leaned against the dais, gaze sharper than a vibroblade boring into you. Everyone fell silent, still, as if made of stone. Not stone, you realized, simply pieces in a larger clockwork puzzle - all here to serve him. You were trapped, hopeless in Fett’s clutches, merely waiting for the hunter to strike.

A hunter who should have been dead.

He leaned forward, muscles rippling even under all that armor and cloth - unseen gaze undeniably focused on you. Maker, he was more frightening then any of the stories could ever capture - a warrior in every right, someone who didn’t have to boast of his power or even show it.

He simply was.

A deep voice spoke, carrying a dialect that was foreign to you, one you instantly thought was both alluring and deadly, even as you also noted it was coming from the very person staring you down.

“What,” the tone was all thunder and calculated coolness as he flicked a small projector to life on his gauntleted wrist, displaying a listing with your face for all to see. “Do we have here?”

Stars above, you were doomed.

Chills ran down your spine. Your lips parted, but no words came, as if your own mind conspired against you. Fear was all too familiar a paralysis, doom settling deep in your bones. What could you say to him? What even was the point? You knew the stories. Tales larger than life spread across the Galaxy of this man, this legend now in the flesh before you. Begging would be pointless. Hoping for mercy, even less so.

But kriff, you hadn’t survived this long to simply give up, either.

The Gamorreans grunted behind you, and a meaty hand shoved your wounded shoulder, knocking you to your knees. You yelped in pain, blood trickling down your back in rivulets, the cool tile beneath you the only thing grounding you from your agony. You looked back up, sweat beating your forehead, finding Fett’s unseen gaze tilted down, watching you in silence. Waiting. Expecting.

You were, after all, in his court.

A heavy silence had fallen, as every hunter watched your exchange with bated breath. Surely they wondered if Fett would claim your bounty, or if you were up for grabs. Terror settled deep in your chest, and you winced, pain radiating from your wounded shoulder. Fett suddenly shifted forward, and your words bubbled from chapped lips, as if sensing your impending doom.

“I…I seek sanctuary, my…” you blinked in confusion, wondering what honorific would work best, “my lord. I’m aware I have a bounty. I…”

Your world spun, everything fading to a muted blur. You could barely keep your focus on the armored figure looming above you. Shit, you’d lost too much blood. You tried to keep your head high, your quivering body fighting against your every move. If Fett didn’t kill you, you’d surely die first. Either way, you were doomed to die alone, among strangers, in the den of the very wolves you’d sought to escape.

His helmet tilted to the side in a gesture you could almost interpret as curiosity, remaining silent. Leaving you to desperately amble on.

You swallowed hard, clenching your hands to fists. You saw your reflection in his black visor; a pathetic image of a broken, bleeding, scared woman. A shell of the fierce warrior you once were.

“I crashed in the desert,” you tried to continue, you really did, even as your body grew oddly warm, exhaustion and blood loss taking their toll. “I was…betrayed. I didn’t…”

Your knees shook, fresh blood dripping freely. Several of the hunters amongst the crowd shifted closer to you, their eyes sharp, hungry. Kriff, they were like sharks, drawn to the blood you spilled. Interestingly, Fett’s helmet flicked their way, as if in a silent warning, and they quickly backed off without a single complaint.

You didn’t have the time to process the action.

Your vision flickered, as if a light switch had cut off and on, and the last thing you saw was a swirl of green and red hovering over you before darkness mercifully took over, and you collapsed to the ground, unconscious.

-

“Want me to put her in a cell, boss?” Fennec’s voice was low, calm, in Boba’s ear. “She’s garnering too much attention.”

Boba deigned a response, too focused on the unconscious woman before him, your bedraggled state, and the blood staining his floor. You were near death, that he could determine, but that wasn’t the only thing that drew his intrigue.

Strung around your neck, just peeking out from under your shirt, was a mandalorian necklace. And not just any necklace, but the very mythosaur sigil he bore. He generally didn’t give a damn about Mandalorians. They were a stubborn lot, fiercely independent. On that, he supposed they were similar, and that was exactly why they didn’t get along. That was, until Din. Their interactions had brought back memories of his father, of a past he’d long been haunted by. Perhaps, in some ironic twist of fate, that past was still revealing itself in new, unexpected ways.

You’d come here for sanctuary, knowing you had a bounty, which clearly indicated you hadn’t known where you were, or that you’d stumble upon him. Judging by your shocked expression, you’d clearly recognized him, but he doubted you’d known he was alive.

There were enough reasons to ask questions, at least, before final judgement.

“No, Fennec.” Boba kept his voice low, for her alone to hear. “Take her to the medical droid. Give her a room, keep it locked and guarded.”

“Hmm. Almost hospitable.” Fennec’s angular brow lifted, but she didn’t press further. “To what end?”

Boba found himself looking back down at you, an emotion he could almost interpret as concern flaring in his chest. Something about your broken, bloodied form twisted in his stomach like a knife, and he sighed, clenching his gloved hands to fists.

“I have some questions first.”

-

“Jaceyn!”

The alarms blared like sirens in your ears as your ship spiraled out of control. Lights swirling, screams echoing, panic overriding common sense as the escape pods ejected, the crew leaving you to your doom. Your footsteps pounded down the hall, sweat beading, dripping into your eyes, desperation flooding your chest.

Your ship was crashing, your armor was missing, and your love…

“Jaceyn! Wait!” Your plea flung into empty space like the shrapnel that had torn into your shoulder. Tears blurred your vision as you bolted after him, heart pounding desperately in your chest. “Please…”

A fist connected to your chest, throwing you backward onto the doomed craft. Pain burned through your body like fire as you watched the final pod eject, leaving you to crash to your death.

The damn coward’s back was turned.

The ship spiraled down, down, and down, reducing your world to an agonized blur of pain and confusion, fading until there was nothing left but sand and blood.

Your eyes snapped open, heart pounding like a war drum, sweat drenching your body. You gripped the sheets with panicked gasps, fingers quivering, limbs shaking. Your breaths were ragged, as if from knife-torn lungs.

You were swathed in darkness, and swore you could still taste blood on the back of your throat. Your confusion subsided enough for you to register that you weren’t in the wreckage, but rather, a large bed.

What the…

Panic grew to sheer terror, and even with all your training, you felt your limbs locking up. Where the kriff were you? You took a deep breath, steeling your nerves. You hadn’t lived this long by being stupid, nor would you start to engage in foolishness now. Your gaze swept the room, starting at the far corner, analyzing every detail, cataloguing every potential threat.

You certainly found one when your eyes fell on the same armored figure you’d seen before you’d passed out, that T-visored helm fixed on you with deadly precision.

So, you were still the infamous Boba Fett’s prey. A curse flew from your lips before you could stop yourself, finding yourself wishing you’d bled out in the sands.

“I’ve been called worse.” Fett’s voice was deep, dry, and void of emotion.

Your lips snapped shut, and you instantly went to shift out of the bed and away from him - as far as you possibly could. Your body lurched in pain at the movement, a dull agony cording through your veins. Kriff…you were too wounded to move much, especially to be able to run.

You were hopelessly trapped in his clutches.

“What…” you blinked, swallowing hard as you dared to glare back at his visor. “Did you do to me?”

“You were dying.” His tone was matter of factual, curt. “Needed bacta.”

Now you were even more confused. He was helping you? Surely it was to receive a higher sum of credits for your bounty. You couldn’t fathom a different reason.

“I get it. You wanna fetch a higher sum for me.” You shot him a blank glare despite the fear thrumming in your heart like a living thing. “Sorry I arrived as damaged goods.”

Fett fell silent, and you couldn’t tell for the life of you if he was angry or simply bored. When he finally spoke again, there was little change in his tone, other than what you could only guess was curiosity.

“The mandalorian necklace.” His helmet tilted slightly downward, at your neck. “Where’d you get it?”

You glanced down at your chest, eyes falling on the necklace that was bared freely for him to see. Another curse rushed from your lips. Fett’s helmet tilted to the right. If you were to reveal your true identity to him, a bounty hunter…you were as good as dead. The last remaining vestiges of the Empire would pay handsomely for your blood.

It was as if Fett could read your mind.

“I’ve no interest in turning you in.” He leaned forward, a warning thrumming in his deep tone. “Unless you give me one. Understand?”

You felt yourself nodding, as if your body managed what your brain could not. Judging by the tilt of his helmet, Fett seemed pleased.

“Now.” He leaned back in the chair, arms draped over the armrests, a finger casually tapping the polished metal. “Who are you?”

“I…” you swallowed your fear, pushing it back, already theorizing ways you could escape if he didn’t stick to his word. “I’m a mandalorian. My clan was killed by Moff Gideon. I escaped, but was betrayed…so forgive me if I seem doubtful, but I know your kind. And I know how many credits I’m worth.”

Fett remained silent, his helmet tilting slightly to the left in a gesture that could have nearly been interpreted as curiosity. So, you continued.

“I know I’m wounded, but,” your eyes narrowed at the black, impassive t-visor staring you down, “I won’t go down without a fight.”

“That, I believe, little one,” Fett finally spoke, his voice softer than you’d expected. He slowly stood, as to not alarm you, hands hanging loose at his sides. “You need rest. Stay here, where it’s safe. I’ll ensure it.”

He turned to leave, armor glinting faintly under the light of the moons.

“Why help me?” You watched him pause, heartbeat fluttering, worry that he’d change his mind coursing through your veins.

No one could be trusted.

“My father was mandalorian.” His tone was rougher, more ragged, yet constrained. “I would not wish to see you meet his fate.”

He left without another word, the door shutting behind him, leaving you in confused silence.

Exhausted from your struggles, you collapsed on the bed despite yourself, wondering that dreadful, or nebulous, fate the Galaxy held for you next.

[qaxqxd]

Just like that.

♡Pair: König x F!reader

Genre: Angst

Warning: Injuries, blood, and etc. Heartbreak and other dark topics.

A/n: Credits goes to this lovely person, @valuzii for giving me the idea to write this <33

Summary: König didn't pay attention to (Y/n) anymore, as he found a liking to the new recruit. He would put his focus and care on the new recruit more than he did to (Y/n). He didn’t know this would bite him back later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a new recruit that joined. Her name was Alison, she was a new female recruit. You were so glad that another female joined the task force. You were going to meet her tomorrow.

You and Konig were roommates. When you two met you were shy around him, due to his size. And he was scared of you. It was an experience that you wouldn’t mind happening again.

You two were the bestest friends. Nothing could separate you two apart. You guys were like two peas in the pot. You two weren’t dating, but definitely acted like it. Showing physical contact in front of the whole crew sometimes.

And maybe. Maybe… You have a slight crush on König.

“What do you think she’s like?” You asked König. You were holding the new recruits file. She was impressive in multiple things. You were very excited to meet her.

“Ahh, ich weiß es nicht, (Y/n).” He spoke, as he was on his phone.

(Ahh, I don’t know, (Y/n).)

“Well, I’m just glad we’re getting another female recruit.” You said, laid back on the couch. It was true. There usually weren't any female recruits. So when you heard that there was going to be a new recruit. You were so happy.

You even begged Price to read her file. Which he agreed to. Of course.

Tomorrow was the day she was going to arrive.

+-~-+

You were in the briefing room. Sitting right between König and Ghost. As the new recruit enters the room. Price introduces her and everything, as you fangirl inside. König's eyes softened at the girl.

Alison.

König's attention draws to her. Just like that.

“Hey König.” You nudge. “König?” You called again. He wasn’t answering. “König?” You nudge a little harder as he flinches.

“You alright, König?” You asked with a tone of concern.

You sighed slightly. As the new recruit walked and sat right next to König. They were talking. You felt slightly jealous, but shook it off. König was finally talking to more people. You should feel happy.

“I’m fine, (Y/n). Just lost in Gedanke.” He tilted his head slightly. Looking back where he

(I’m fine, (Y/n). Just lost in thought.)  was looking at.

Ghost tap your shoulder, checking if you were alright. You nodded. He noticed your mood slump.

As you left the briefing room. You watch König walk away with Alison. Guess you were walking back to your quarters alone. As you heard a voice behind you.

It was Ghost. Maybe you won’t walk alone to your quarters. As he tried to get a conversation started with you. You smile at him.

+-~-+

You were holding onto a pole, waiting to be dropped down to your next mission. The helicopter filled with you, Ghost, König, and of course, Alison. König and Alison decide to partner up. While you and Ghost were partners.

You didn’t have anything against Ghost. It was just you and König always would always be partners Since you guys were good friends with each other. You let the thought slide as the helicopter landed.

You and Ghost walked through the shady buildings. As you two spotted the cartel men in the warehouse. They were plotting something. Ghost raised his fingers counting down from 3.

As he places down his last finger you both charge inside. Aiming at the men. You guys hid behind barrels.

While König and Alison were fighting off another cartel warehouse.

"(Y/n)! Watch out!" He yells.

 As Ghost watches you get tackled. You quickly kick the man's face, but not before he stabbed you in the thigh. You hiss in agony. Ghost runs over to you quickly, clearing out the warehouse.

Once the warehouse was clean of cartel workers, he looked at your wound. Closely examined it, as he tries to stop the bleeding with the cloth he found lying around.

He was no medic, but he knew the basic medical training. He did a pretty good job patching you up slightly.

"Does it hurt?" He questioned.

"Like hell." You responded. He gave you a low chuckle. As he stood up to look for what they came for.

He dug around the warehouse for a good 5 minutes before returning to you.

"You found it?" You uttered, holding your stabbed wound.

"Affirmative." He held up the USB. "Let's get you back, can't have ya dyin'."

He lifted you up, supporting you with his shoulder.

"S'This okay?" Ghost asked. You nodded at him. As he radios König and Alison. As well as a helicopter crew. 

As two helicopters arrived.

One filled with medical supplies for you.

+-~-+

You were in the Med Bay, waiting to be bandaged. König, your "best friend" was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he was busy? But if he was. He would have texted you…

Right?

You watched everyone who walked in and out. Waiting for König, but surprisingly Ghost walked in. He stood by you. He seems a little guilty or a little sad. But you really couldn’t tell any of his emotions behind the skull mask.

“You al’right?” He asked in a stern voice.

You gave him a small nod.

“Have you seen König?” You asked, looking at your bandage leg. Ghost’s arm crossed.

“Yeah, he’s training.” He spoke.

“With Alison.” You mumble.

“Huh?” Ghost tilted his head. He didn’t seem to hear what you said. 

 “Nothing!” You smiled. He gave you a light chuckle. Ghost’s company has been.. Really nice lately. But the thought of König and Alison flooded your mind again. They’ve been really close lately.

Just like that you couldn’t shake the thought or feelings of jealousy. You and Ghost continue speaking for a bit. Well, it was more as you were talking and he was listening. Until you stopped talking for a bit.

You were lost in your thoughts.

“(Y/n)?” He spoke. Snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah, L.t?” You responded. You heard him softly sigh.

“Call me if you need somethin’. I, best be going now.” He gave you a thumbs then walked out of the Med Bay.

Shit.

Now you're there alone. Maybe you should head back to your quarters. Walking back there shouldn’t be too hard with a limping leg. 

Right?

König could help you back! But, he’s working out… He is probably busy. Or you could call Ghost. He offered to help you if you needed something. But, what if he’s on lieutenant work. You shouldn’t bother him.

Gah. You should just do it yourself.

You limped back to your quarters. Opening the door. And of course. König was nowhere to be seen. You even looked in his room to see if he was there.

Nope.

You walked into your room. You had enough of today. As you hop into your bed lying face flat onto it. Forgetting your injury. You hissed.

You really had ENOUGH of today or any day to be honest. You didn’t want to see Alison- König, Ghost- Or anyone for that matter for today.

+-~-+

It was the next day. You were walking down the cafeteria. As you spotted König at a table on his own. You sat by him.

“Yo?” You looked at König.

“Hallo.” Königs Mutter.

“Did you sleep okay last night?” You tried to start a conversation with him. It's been a couple of weeks since you guys have spoken.

“I slept fine.” He said.

“Well… How was the mission yesterday?” You asked. You wonder if he knew you were injured yesterday.

“It was pretty nice. Alison and I cleared the warehouse pretty quickly.” His tone in speaking was lightened.

You could feel your heart crushing, but you wanted to be happy for him. It was obvious that König liked her. 

A lot.

“How about you?” He asked.

“Well.. I was injured during the mission.” You stated. As you realize König wasn’t paying attention. Just like that. You look at the direction he was looking at.

It was Alison. Of course it was her. No other girl would have König admiring them like that. You could feel tears well-up in your eyes. As you got up from where you were sitting. König probably wouldn’t even notice if you left.

You didn’t feel like eating. You limp slowly out of the cafeteria. You weren’t paying attention to where you were walking, since you were looking down on the floor. As you bumped into Ghost.

“My- My bad, L.t '' Your head was looking down. Not wanting him to know you were crying.

“Are you okay, (Y/n)?” He asked.

You wiped a tear away, and nodded. He placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Are you sure? You don’t look so great, s’especially when you're limping heavily.” Ghost looked at your limped leg.

“Do you want help wherever you're going?” He lent his hand. You took his hand, putting some of your weight onto his arm.

“I just want to go back to my quarters.” You spoke, your voice crumbling.

“I’ll take you there-” He was then cut off.

“(Y/n)?” He spoke. It was König. You couldn’t bear to look at him. Not now. You didn’t want him to see you cry.

Ghost could tell that you didn’t want to see him right now. 

“She’s in pain right now. She wants to be escorted back to her room.” Ghost spoke with a stern voice.

“In pain-? What- happen?” He asked, not knowing at all you were injured. AFTER you told him. Of course he wasn’t paying attention.

“The latest mission? She was injured from the latest mission. Were you not informed?” Ghost held your waist, helping you. König stood there in silence. As you both started walking away.

Ghost and You both were talking about random things but, it managed to lighten the mood. You both eventually got to your shared quarter with König. You told Ghost to just drop you off there.

You walked into the place, going straight to your room.

+-~-+

Walking out of the room, you spotted König on the couch. As he saw you he stood up.

“(Y/n)!” He yelped, with a concerned voice.

“Oh… Hey?” You spoke with a confused tone.

“Are you alright? Do you need anything? I could get something for you.” He asked. He seems more weary and worried about you. But you didn’t like it.

 You… Didn’t like it? Isn’t this what you wanted? For König to care and look at you again? Yes, of course you did, but why does it feel different? The thought of Alison made you cringe.

You felt like the second option.

+-~-+

As the days went König tried to get closer to you. Trying to ‘Protect you’

He did stuff such as, making sure your every mission he was at least on it. Team assignments such as duos? He was your pair. But as hard as he tried, the wound between you and him just grew.

As much as he tried to ‘Protect you.’ It was more like pushing you away from people.

It wasn’t the same anyways. Even if you tried to accept he was trying to get close to you again. You would see him leave you, when Alison came along.

You were sick and tired of it, but you didn’t want to tell him. He was a colonel after all. König probably wouldn’t have power abused, but you didn’t expect him to leave you like that either.

You decide to take your chances and take it up to König.

Walking to where he was with Alison. You tapped on the tall shoulder. He turns around to look at you. His eyes looking down at you. His stare was enough to send chills down your spine.

You got this far, no time to back out.

“König we need to talk. Like. Right now.” You grabbed his arm. He followed you, seemingly annoyed.

“S’What is it?” He asked you, leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

“You need to stop.” You stated.

“Stop what?” He tilted his head.

“Watching over me! I’m a soldier too, you know!” You started to raise your tone.

“But, i'm just protecting-”

“Protecting me? Yeah, right.” You scoff.

He wasn’t protecting you, he was just overwhelming you. His protection was getting you far from Ghost or anyone. While he stayed with Alison. All giggly.

“I don’t understand? Why are you mad?” His glare sharpened.

“Wh- Huh- Why am I MAD? König you're pushing me away from everyone. While I sit in silence! You over there talking to Alison.”

“Schatz, why are you bringing Alison into this?”

(Darling, why are you bringing Alison into this?)

“Alison? Did you not hear what I said before that? Is that all you care about? Alison? Leaving me injured, alone, ignored, just for her?” You felt your eyes start to water.

He went silent. So did you.

You walked off, just like that. The thin string you were holding on broke.

 Just like that.

+-~-+

Another mission you needed to handle. A solo, to be exact. Well not really, some of your teammates were in the other buildings. Get the information we need and leave. Not like this is going to be any hard, yeah?

It was a simple stealth mission. You kept telling yourself. As you enter the building, quiet and steady. Soldiers coming from left to right. You hid around the corners, looking around for the USB.

Or anything that could be used for intel. As you turned the corner, you saw.

Makarov’s men? What are they doing here?

Before you could radio to the others you felt a sharp pain in your side. 

Shit.

You let out a yelp, as you quickly kick the person behind you. There was more than a singular person. You were then surrounded. The radio out of your reach to signal anyone at base.

You fell to the ground as you felt the stab wound deepen.

You needed to get out fast.

You threw a few smoke bombs, before getting out, grabbing the radio. You found a room to hide in. A small closet. You found a towel to hold your wound. You were bleeding a lot. As in a lot.

You radio for base.

“(Y/n) calling in for backup and a medical team.” You coughed out. Blood. That wasn’t a good sign.

“Copy that.” A voice from the radio spoke.

You were bleeding too fast, you wouldn’t make it before backup came.

 Is this the end? You thought. 

Maybe König would finally get what he wanted. You, gone from existen. Well, he didn’t care for you either way. He probably wouldn’t even have attended your funeral. You felt tears falling from your eyes.

Knowing this was going to be your last mission.

 You felt dizzy and lightheaded. You felt yourself nodding off.

Just like that, it was your end.

+-~-+

The building you were in was filled with backup. They found your body. A minute later. You were gone.

Your body was carried back to base.

The news got to König. As well as your dog tag was handed to him.

“Nein, nein, nein.. Das kann nicht sein.” König was in disbelief. His knees collapse on the (No, no, no… This can’t be.) floor, holding onto your dog tag tightly.

You were dead.

König looked at you, tears dripping down.

Just like that, the nurse draped a blanket over your body.

König regrets the time he didn’t get to spend with you. He regrets every single last bit. He loved you after all. He wished he didn’t get mad at you. He wished he said something to you. He wished he didn’t ignore the signs.

He could have saved you. He could have done something.

But, just like that.

You were gone.

-

WC. 2.7k

[nothums-from-tj]

Returning to my series of “barely anyone else cares abt this ship that I’m crying over so I’m gonna make a post abt them myself”: Mordeson edition

If you don’t like the ship please just fuckin scroll I don’t need anyone clowning today thnx

I have so many things I want to write and draw however I am so overwhelmed so I’m spewing my nonsense onto Tumblr to feed the like 3 people paying attention to these dorks <3 for the most part here are just like tiny little hcs/moments/ideas of them that have infected my brain. Cut provided to make it not unbelievably long for the rest of my followers

Categories: headcanons, ideas, “cutaways” (basically my iterations of what happens post-episode endings or in the midst of flashbacks/stories, between scenes, etc.)

I’d also like to thank @mushtoons for letting me yap abt them in DMs/on Discord, some of these in which I’m copy/pasting from my side of conversations with them <3

Headcanons:

-Mordecai sometimes patches up Benson’s hand(s) after usually breaking it by punching something out of anger on varying occasions

-the way they likely comforted one another during the Margaret, CJ, and Audrey heartbreaks with Benson probably gave Mordecai harder/grosser jobs to keep his mind off things and Mordecai gave Benson excuses to head home late to lessen the chances of bumping into Audrey

-the car radio along with show/movie nights consist of more bickering than watching/listening to anything

-Benson is the Worst backseat driver and Mordecai has to try to politely tell him he’s going to lose his mind if he tells him where to make the correct turn to both of their place of work; that said, for both of their sanity, Benson usually drives when they’re together

-there are days where Mordo has to literally force Benson to stay home bc he's either so sick he can hardly stand, so overwhelmed he can't think, or is in so much pain his body is practically crumbling beneath him

-sometimes when Benson gets reeeally into a beat, drumming on the steering wheel or a pen against his clipboard or something of the sort, Mordecai will try to start singing along to it so he’ll remember it for practice or whatever

-he has thrown hands over people trashing Benson behind his back

-and he has to semi-frequently talk/hold Benson out of a self-deprecating spiral

-Mordecai's parents absolutely adore Benson and were some of the first people to say "so when's the wedding!!!!" when first introducing him as his bf

-the opposite happened when Benson introduced Mordecai to his parents; I’d say his parents got divorced when he was young and his mom was kinda chill though his dad was kinda passive aggressive and just didn’t really put in a lot of heart, though Mordecai learned a lot more abt him from his dad than his mom

-Mordecai is the first to say “I love you” and Benson bawls on the spot

-Mordecai draws/doodles Benson during meetings/assignments when he starts to develop feelings for him

-Mordecai gets crazy flustered at pet names bc he doesn’t expect them whatsoever; he’s always been the one giving them rather than receiving, though he always appreciates them

-Benson is also crazy touch starved while Mordecai can be pretty jealous so usually in public they’re always seen touching in some way; one leg over the other when sitting, handholding when walking, an arm around the other’s waist/shoulders, etc.

-they prob hooked up at least 1 (one) time pre-relationship and swore they’d never tell anyone abt it

-Margaret and Mordecai are platonic soulmates as much as it is a dismay to most their romantic relationships; Benson is the first/only one of Mordecai's partners to fully accept this

Ideas (if anyone writes these before I get around to them pleeeeease please send it to me I’d cry /pos):

-swap AU of sorts where they have a secret relationship while Rigby and Eileen are more “center of attention”

-in addition, switching up Benson and CJ in a lot of scenarios make a lot of sense (specifically thinking of “New Year’s Kiss” and “Thomas’ Play Date”)

-Benson is such a little cuddle bug, Mordecai gets totally thrown off guard by how affectionate he is when they start dating

-Benson gets stuck having to watch his sister’s kid for the day while on the clock and as much as he loves seeing and hanging out w them he can’t do much while at work, asks Mordecai and Rigby to hang out w them for a bit until he’s done what he needs to and he later gets confused why his heart does weird flip-floppy things to see Mordecai being an amazing babysitter later

-Benson having a rough day mentally and asks to reschedule a date, which Mordecai asks if he’s ok and wants company which he doesn’t wanna “be a burden” or thinks Mordo won’t want to be around his sad self all day and he has to be kinda regularly reminded, “You’re my boyfriend, Ben. I always want you around.”

-Benson getting nightmares and/or flashbacks of the dome experiments and Mordo does his best to help through the severe paranoia and skittishness in the morning, unless he wakes up to it happening and he’s able to help him through it/get back to sleep

Cutaways:

-“In The House” Benson was nowhere to be seen until after Rigby finished his house/wizard story which Benson was like right next to Mordecai so I like to think Benson walked in early-ish into Rigby’s story and it’s Mordecai that beckoned him over to include him in the storytelling

-“Weekend At Benson’s” post-ending in which Benson maybe just felt too horrible to bring himself home so he hangs out at the house where Mordecai figures if he and Rigby feel awful already, Benson’s gotta be going through the same thing 10 fold so he sits with him all day doing his best to provide comfort and consolation while Benson spends half the day vomiting and sobbing from the searing pain in his throat

-“Eggscellent” after Benson getting punched, in which Skips probably had to be the one to tell Benson in private that while it’s ok for him to be scared and concerned and to feel betrayed and disrespected, what he said to Mordecai also wasn’t cool before explaining Jonathan Kimble and the journal he found; after apologizing to Mordecai he tries so hard to prove himself by being his biggest cheerleader, trying not to question the eagerness to be by his side and sudden overprotective urges

-“Return of Mordecai and the Rigbys” I think maybe a little bit too much abt the times they’re sent to the hospital and being the first two awake to have a few minutes to chat privately, and some of the dialogue I had in mind to not make this post even longer

-“Dumptown, USA” particularly when Benson went after Audrey broke up w him; maybe he left his phone behind, maybe he didn’t, and I doubt he was gone nearly as long as Mordecai, though he might’ve still been gone a few days to a week and incredibly hard to reach, leaving everyone else panicking over Benson not showing up to work to the point of sending a wellness check and getting ready to file a missing persons report by the time he comes back; Mordo’s the first to see him and instinctively runs to give him a hug, surprising them both

-“White Elephant Gift Exchange” with Benson being pretty OCD coded, similar to the first hc above following the “glove incident” where Benson likely washed his hands like 6 times to the point of cracking bc he didn’t feel “clean” enough (speaking as somebody with OCD and similar experiences)

This isn’t even remotely all of what I have this is just long enough already and I’m trying to figure out how I wanna execute the rest LOL. Anyway if anything here strikes inspiration feel free to write/draw/whatever and tag me bc I’m itching for more content of them I’m losing my mind <3 feel free to talk to me abt these dorks in DMs or my ask box too!!!!

[myloveforhergoeson]

hello. in usual ash fashion i want to write but i don't want it to be any of my current works. so i'm taking a crack at @partiallypearl 's ipod shuffle challenge! though im cheating by using spotify, i'm just going to put on my liked songs playlist and see what comes up :) continue reading if interested <3

hayloft - mother mother

pairing: rames

james knew sneaking into roxy's bedroom was a bad idea. her father had been clear about that from the moment they'd started dating.

but he didn't care. it's not like declan would actually do anything to him, considering how that would affect the daughter he'd give the entire world to.

james would give her the world too - declan just couldn't tell that from the incriminating position he'd found the two teenage lovers in under her bright red duvet.

good thing james had left the window open, considering he'd scrambled out of it as quickly as he could.

roxy was screaming, so was declan, as the man crammed himself through the doorframe and began to take off after james. he chased him all the way down the block and into the forested trail, yelling some of the scariest threats the teenager had ever heard.

-

i never told you what i do for a living - my chemical romance

pairing: rames (rockstar roxy au)

"what brings you around here?" he asked, gazing out at the palm woods pool as he finally managed to catch the girl's attention. "i thought you already had a place with your dad."

"i do," she said, buffing her nails on her shirt. "he's hard to live with, rockstar lifestyle and all. figured it was time i flew the coop and got a place of my own."

"and you can... afford that? aren't you my age?"

"you know how well performing pays the bills."

that caught james' attention. "what...?"

"oh, come on," roxy laughed, a hand reaching out to brush his arm. it reminded him of their little encounter of the rocque records conference room. "i never told you what i do for a living?"

the boy shook his head, confused.

"i'm a performer, just like you," the girl shared. "time to forge a rockstar lifestyle befitting me, not him."

-

older - five seconds of summer

pairing: kaisy-ish. if you squint. more like mae walker x jasper walker lol

daisy didn't think there was anything better than watching her grandparents together. they had a bond that endured all; happiness and heartbreak and everything in between.

the two of them had been through so much together, it was almost hard for her to fathom.

the two of them sat in the study, next to each other on the worn out couch they'd had in there forever and ever. her grandpa had a world war 2 book cracked open for the two of them to read. while he was focused on the pages, his hand cradled hers.

he knew that she was starting to fall asleep on his shoulder, but kept as normal anyway.

daisy wanted something like that. something real. natural. as easy as breathing.

she didn't want to get older without a love like that, she decided, pouring over the sketchbook in her lap. just as she decided what to begin to draw - the scene in front of her - the chime on her laptop went off to alert her of a new message.

-

driving through a dream - andrew mcmahon in the wilderness

pairing: rames

one of these days, roxy was going to force james to get his driver's license. it always stressed her out so bad when he drove without one, but tonight they'd had no choice as they headed back into la from santa monica.

the songwriter was literally falling asleep on her feet after their jam packed day of fun, hardly able to keep her eyes open long enough to focus on anything in particular.

the radio was on, a tape of her favorite songs blasting through the stereo of the old pontiac gto, and the music mixed with the sound of the rustling wind as she laid her head on james' shoulder as they soared down the highway.

he always looked so cool, even with the wind whipping his hair wildly. he knew it too; she didn't need to peek at him to know the smirk growing across his face as she cuddled closer into him as the fall air chilled her skin.

"try to get some sleep," he told her, barely audible over all the other highway noises. "i'll wake you at home."

-

miss you - louis tomlinson

pairing: olive & roxy (college au)

"everything is great," olive assured her best friend, cradling the half-drank mug of beer in her palms. "everything is fucking great."

roxy knew this was the furthest thing from the truth, however. olive always got like this when her on-off relationship with the boy from her psych 101 class was going downhill.

"it will be," the other girl promised. "after one more pint... or five..."

olive snorted, looking out at the others hanging out around the sleazy bar 20 minutes away from their dorm. without saying anything, she got up and ordered four shots from the bartender.

not too long later, she and roxy were the only ones on the makeshift dance floor, singing along to the justin bieber tune roxy had begged the dj to play for them.

-

INFATUATION - i don't know how but they found me

pairing: kaisy

if kendall didn't have his phone on him, it made him anxious.

what if daisy-mae sent him a message and he wasn't able to reply to it?

would she think he had better things to do than talk to her?

he didn't think he ever would for the rest of his life.

besides, she said she didn't have a good way of reliably communicating with him until the laptop she'd ordered arrived. the laptop she'd bought just to talk to him.

how crazy was that? was it crazy to be crazy about her crazy decisions?

talking to her was his only repeive from the mess of his current state. no need to worry about hockey, or his knee, or anything else.

his friends said it was infatuation... katie had called it obsession... and kendall had no idea which term he preferred.

-

lost my cool - stand atlantic

pairing: roxy & mag

waiting was all roxy did. for the right time to share the song. for mag to indicate he liked her as much as she liked him. for any sign brand new day had a gig. for an excuse to hang out around the boy she might have been falling in love with.

what a fat lot of good that did her, considering she was running down the halls of her high school, face in her hands trying to hide the tears streaming down her face.

normally, she prided herself in being able to control her emotions well, but after mag had laughed in her face at the thought of them being together... anyone in her position would do the same.

she'd always thought it was so cliche when that happened in the movies or tv shows she watched, but now, living it in her own reality, she felt far more sympathetic to the plight of protagonists like kat stratford. maybe she should take a page out of her book and tell mag to eat shit, but the thought of ever seeing him again made her begin to cry even harder.

-

yellow - coldplay

pairing: kaisy

kendall wished being able to play the guitar turned him into songwriter he wanted to be. it wasn't enough that daisy liked the music he played, he wanted her to like the music he made.

he'd tried everything, scratching out all his thoughts onto the pages of his school notebook before tearing them out and crumpling them into a ball to trash in the corner of his room.

just as he went to write again, the chime on his computer went off. daisy was online.

look at the stars she sent aren't they exceptionally beautiful tonight?

he didn't think twice before he opened the blinds to his room, looking up at the same night sky as her, despite being thousands of miles apart. the streetlights outside his house doused his vision in a pale yellow.

and the lyric he managed to come up with then was just as stupid as the rest of them, but he wrote it out any way.

look at the stars. look how they shine for you.

the corner of his mouth perked up. that was a pretty good start, even if he could never put into words how much daisy meant to him.

-

one less lonely girl by justin bieber

pairing: roxy & logan (wag au), lolive if you squint

"you're not understanding me, hockey head!" roxy practically yelled at logan, taking his shoulders in his hands and shaking violently. "it's non-negotiable. you're singing this to her at the reception or else."

"we're not even engaged!" logan cried right back. not that he hadn't thought about it before...

"i don't care!" his friend continued to shake him. "there's no way i'm giving her to you unless you tell me right now - swear to me - you're going to do it!"

"she's not yours to give away," logan pointed out, starting to get a headache.

"do i need to get wren on the phone? because she'll be on my side!"

that threat did hold quite a lot of weight; when it came to olive's best interests, roxy and wren did tend to see eye to eye.

"...fine," the hocky player conceded, cheeks growing a firey red. "and not just because you're threatening me..."

-

when you need a man - the driver era

pairing: pre-relationship rames, dak x roxy

it was infuriating to see dak anywhere in the vicinity of roxy. james didn't understand how she couldn't see how miserable he'd made her over the last few weeks. standing her up at the party, getting all up in her shit for hanging out with other guys, a whole list of things he could think of off the top of his head.

but it didn't matter, at least not to him, because he'd be there for her regardless. that was what a good friend did, even if he desperately wanted to be more.

when she needed a man, she'd call on him, and he'd be ready to swoop in and take care of her. show her what a real relationship looked like. turn her entire world upside down.

--

hi! if you made it this far, you deserve a medal. these are so embarrassing. now you know why it takes me so long to get my chapters out LOLLL. writing with brevity is literally my worst nightmare!!!!!! but anyway i hope you enjoyed <3 ty for reading ily

[russellsppttemplates]

This is kinda funny, I hope so. Aurora having a crush on Liam and having a "talk" with uncle Seb about why deserves a seat

(This is obviously set where Mick has a seat)

"Papa! I see uncle Seb, can I go to him?", Aurora asked as she sat in the garage, seeing the Sebastian walk by and wave at her. With a thumbs up from Sebastian, Mick allowed his daughter to go.

"Hello, Rora. Every time I see you, you get more grown up. How are you?", he greeted her, lacing his hand in hers and walking to where he was heading anyway. "I'm good, a little bit tired because I couldn't sleep that much. Did you know that when it's is morning here, back home it's nighttime?", she questioned him, "yes, it's crazy, right? How the world works", he chuckled at her amusement.

"Oh, I've never been here", Aurora looked around the new hospitality she was walking into. The blue and white walls were familiar enough for her to know she was in the F1 paddock, but the people who kept waving at her weren't so familiar, "this is the Scuderia Alpha Tauri, I'm here to see some people I know. Do you want me to take you back to your papa?", Sebastian asked, unsure if he had brought her to an uncomfortable situation, "no, I'm fine. Can I meet your friends?", she wondered, smiling as he helped her up the stairs.

In one of the sofas, there was one of Sebastian's friends, Aurora assumed, since he hugged him like she hugs her friends, "hello, I'm Liam. What's your name?", the driver asked, crouching down to meet her eye level, "I'm Aurora Schumacher", she said, "well, Sebastian is going to speak to Fabiana here for a bit, so do you want to draw with me?", he asked, pulling out his iPad and opening a drawing app.

Aurora kept giggling and she looked like she was enjoying herself, so much so that it took a little persuading for her to go back to the Mercedes hospitality, "Hello, my love. Did you have a good time?", you asked, allowing her to sit next to you while you bounced baby Seb on your thigh, "Yes, mama! I havr a new friend and he made a drawing with me!".

"Thanks, Sebastian, she looks like she enjoyed herself", you smiled.

.

Her friend Liam wasn't getting a seat for the next season. At least that was what she had gathered from the talk her papa and her mama were having, and it was not good news.

The next time she saw uncle Seb, she took matters into her own hands, "uncle Seb! Can I talk to you for a bit?", she asked, pointing to the chair next to him.

"Sure, Rora. What's the matter?", he asked her, "I heard my papa saying Liam is not getting a seat", she began, "yes, that's true", Sebastian confirmed, seeing her slump her shoulders, "I was hoping my papa had heard wrong", she tsk-ed, "well, I think it isn't a fair decision. He drives really well. He's been at the top part of the table. I may not know all of the numbers, but he was in the good places. Can't you get him a seat?", she asked bluntly.

Smiling at her antics, Sebastian joined his hands on top of the table, "well, sometimes the people who decide these things see other factors. And I don't have a day in who has a seat for next season", he explained.

"Well, you should. And then you'd see that Liam deserves to have a seat next year", she swayed her legs under the table, "Can we go and see him? I want to give him a hug", she said, pouting as Sebastian took her hand and letting you and Mick know where they were heading, "I think your daughter is having her first heartbreak over the fact that Liam isn't going to be on the main grid next year".

Arriving at the hospitality, Aurora was quick to spot Liam, "Hi, Aurora. What brings you here today?", he asked, and she felt herself grow nervous, hiding behind Sebastian's legs.

"It's okay, you can tell him", Sebastian encouraged her, "my papa and Seb told me you don't have a seat for next year, so I came here to give you a hug, because when I'm sad hugs make me happy", she whispered as Liam bent down, "it's okay, I'm sure I'll have more opportunities, but I won't miss out on a hug from you", he smiled, opening his arms so she could see he wanted a hug too.

Before leaving the hospitality, Liam signed a cap and gave it to Aurora, the little girl walking back to meet her parents and brother with Sebastian next to her, "are you sure you can't do anything about his seat?", Aurora checked again, getting a negative answer from him, "Oh! Maybe I'll ask Toto!", she remembered, suddenly walking faster and looking for the team principal.

"And why do I have an intruder in my hospitality?", Toto asked the little girl, pointing at her cap and sitting her in of the the chairs next to him, "Toto, I have a proposition for you!".

(Thank you for submitting an ask 🤍)

[adrheenaline]

Mainly a post about levihan but I have tried imagining different scenarios wherein Hange did not have to die, where an ending involved them… looking back though, knowing what they're up against, risking any titan shifter really is not an option for the team… they could just not lose any of them to have a big chance of winning against Eren and stopping the rumble. Many have been saying why couldn't it be Jean that battled the wall colossal titans? While it is true he is told to be exemplary at using ODM gear among his class, our Captain Commander Hange would not be able to bear to sacrifice yet another life of their subordinate. I just could not imagine how greatly it would break Hange's heart and will had they deliberately ordered Jean to do so.

This feat, however, was viewed by many as Hange's suicide rather than a sacrifice… both are true whichever way one would put it.

It is a sacrifice for those of their team to not have a heavy burden to carry on their shoulders to decide who will be left behind, because let's face it, then and there all of them knew that in order to delay the wall colossal titans' movement, one of them should and will be left behind. It was a cold, sad, gruesome fact that I believe Hange did not want any of them to live through. BUT, I also saw it as their way out.

They were just tired… the whole truth that unraveled was so disappointing, I was actually surprised they were able to keep such a composure that made them last until Chapter 132. I can only imagine how dumbfounded Hange was when they have learned that titans are once humans, and that the one person they protected and believed to be a new hope would now be the exact opposite. It was heartbreaking… their appointment as the 14th Captain Commander could also not have come at a worse time, and it was actually relatable in a sense where we were somehow forced to have responsibilities at a young age that we did not fully understand. They saw the opportunity. They grabbed it…

But let's delve in with how the conversation went with Levi. Shinzou sasageyo-- spoken only once by the Heichou, but how powerful and cinematic was it to have him speak those words to the only person he has left at such a time. Oh but I knew that Hange knew if Levi stopped them from going, they would have second thoughts. What once an unbreakable commitment to die will be easily thrown out if only Levi said "Stay." consequently telling him to just let them go.

Isayama would not waste 3 panels showing emotions through Levi's eyes before telling Hange to dedicate their heart if the latter was not important to the captain, and what a beautiful moment it was~ I will be forever grateful to Isayama for not cutting short on that moment, for taking the time to draw those 3 panels of Levi's eyes, and Hange's panel showing astonishment, for letting Levi call Hange "Four eyes" for the last time. That moment was excruciatingly heartbreaking, but it was perfect in its own way… because it was not ~cut short~, and to choose to say "See you later, Hange. Please watch over me." instead of goodbye was so symbolic of the love Levi had to let go but did not want to.

Personally, I do not see Levi and Hange as a romantic couple, but more of platonic soulmates, comparable to one's bestfriend whom you can call at 2 in the morning asking if they believe in God, and the one you would give a handmade bracelet and would not be embarrassed to wear it, that type of platonic relationship. It's difficult not to attest to LeviHan ship when Isayama created so many subtle but not meaningless encounters between the two. One great example was the forest scene right after Hange rescued Levi, and let us not forget their complementary eye injuries. Some may say that fans are ridiculously exagerrating the connections, and that we give too much meaning to scenes that happened just because they did, that they are only coincidences… but Isayama, the great artist that he is, would not make coincidences, especially reoccurring ones.

[starfall-spirit]

Read on Ao3

Summary: Feyre takes some time to talk to one of her more reserved students, unveiling an adorable. yet heartbreaking Christmas wish.

OR

Rhys' little sister gets him a girlfriend.

“Three, two—” The bell above the studio door chimed and Ressina swept out from behind the front counter to greet the first arrivals for the evening class. A rambunctious pair of boys, ages eight and five. “Hello, my lovelies, I’ve missed you!”

Ressina was wonderful with the kids and had a particular fondness for greeting the younger classes and getting them settled. Turning away, Feyre finished setting out the paint and water before sitting down to start a few designs in pencil for the children to paint over. Elves, gingerbread men, angels, and snowmen. She’d need to draw a few more once the little ones had picked out what they wanted to draw, but it was good to get a little extra done before the place turned into a madhouse. 

It didn’t take long for all ten students to arrive, crowding into the studio and stripping out of their winter coats before sitting down at the table. The parents—and brother, in little Avyanna’s case—were left to line the walls, conversing among themselves. “What’s that, Ms. Feyre?”

She smiled. Avy was the meekest voice of the group, a bit wary of the children around her, though she’d seen her laughing with a few of the other girls on occasion and she seemed to be making better social progress with each class. “We’ll be painting ornaments today. You get to pick your favorite design and paint it whatever colors you want. Then Miss Ressina and I will dry it here and give you some pretty ribbon when you come back next week so you can hang it on your tree for your family to enjoy.”

Her eyes widened, lighting up with excitement. “I’d like an angel. Please.”

Feyre gave her another warm smile. “I’ll set this in your spot. Go grab an apron so you don’t stain that pretty shirt.”

“I appreciate the foresight you ladies have for that.” 

Feyre jumped, turning to face the new speaker. At least after two months of classes she could keep from blushing like a fool around him. “Sorry. I didn't notice you Mr. Axton—”

“I think we’ve attended enough lessons to justify you calling me Rhys. I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need to head outside for a moment to make a call, if that’s alright?” 

“Of course. We’re all set here if you need to step out. She’ll be fine.”

“Excellent. Pardon me.” Ruffling his sister’s hair, he stepped back out into the cold, pressing the phone to his ear, a scowl on his face the next time he spoke.

“Do you like my brother?” Avy asked the next time she circled back to their group. A bit startled by the subject, she hesitated to answer. “He likes you, you know.” The statement was out of the blue, an absent thought as she started to paint the angel wings as precisely as any six year old could. “He doesn’t talk about it, but he watches you while we’re here. I think it would make him happy if you went on a date. Happier than he is now, at least.” She had a solemn look about her, her shoulders curving in slightly. “That’s all I want this Christmas. For him to do something that makes him happy.”

While the other children around them were distracted with each other and their art, the parents in hearing range had been following the one sided conversation and were either looking on with amusement at Feyre’s awkwardness or pity for the girl’s homelife. She couldn’t imagine it was easy, going into the holidays just months after losing their parents to a fatal highway crash. 

And how does one tell an elementary-schooler you can’t make people happy by dropping them into a spontaneous date with a stranger. “Sweetheart, I think you and your brother are going to have an amazing Christmas together, especially if you’re with those uncles you keep telling me about.”

“Just wait til he gets back. You’ll see.”

~~~~~

Even smudged with paint and charcoal, the shop owner was gorgeous. Gorgeous and amazing with his sister, which did nothing to help how distracted he was today, trying and failing to tune into the nonsense his uncle was spewing in his ear. “Your parents are dead, Rhysand. If you don’t get a move on—”

“Tell me again, Kier, how I should run this business more like my father. I’m dying for a reason to kick you off the board for good.” Silence. “You’d do well to remember who this company was bequeathed to.”

“Of course, Rhysand,” he ground out. “I didn’t mean to overstep.”

“Then don’t. Get me the contract I requested. I’ll review it in the morning.” 

He shoved his phone back in his pocket, rolling his neck as he calmed himself. If there was one thing he prided himself on it was not letting this shitstorm bleed into his time with his little sister. She was still too young to understand the truth behind a lot that had happened in their life. A mercy and curse, as he was left to question how long he could live with himself, telling her their parents’ car crash was a highway accident.

It was the right call for now, but as her guardian, he still felt like shit. He looked back through the window, spotting Avy in the middle of the table, quiet and reserved among her peers. It was a work in progress, breaking the six-year-old of their father’s rigid teachings, but he had seen glimpses of the rowdy kid she could be once she realized it wouldn’t get her in trouble. 

He pushed back into the art studio, removing his jacket and taking the empty seat beside Avyanna. “How’s it going, Avy?”

“Good. Ms. Feyre’s been helping me. She did the pencil part, see,” she showed him, tracing her finger over the cartoonish pencil marks that outlined the angel design Avy had chosen. She frowned, setting her paintbrush on her paper towel. “Was that Uncle Keir again? You didn’t look happy outside.”

“Ah, I fixed what needed to be fixed. No trouble in sight. What are you painting?”

She was quiet for a moment, likely trying to determine if he was hiding something that should be her business. “An ornament. Miss Ressina has some pretty ribbon we can hang them with so I can take it home and put it on the tree.”

“That sounds like an excellent plan, Avy.”

“How are we doing over here?” Feyre asked the cluster of children, immediately receiving overlapping progress reports on various snowmen, angels, elves, and gingerbread men. 

His sister was still as a statue, looking almost guilty as her instructor checked the paint and water cups around the table. Both of them were doing an excellent job of refusing to make eye contact with him, and Rhys found himself missing the fleeting-yet-bright smile the art teacher normally gifted him once or twice a lesson. 

Avy was far too well-behaved to have made any trouble for the two women leading the weekly lessons and Feyre seemed naturally at ease with parents and students alike. Whatever had shifted would need to be addressed, but it could wait until they weren’t dealing with eavesdroppers. 

“You don’t have to hover, you know,” his sister said, a bit of snark rising in companionship to that guilt. “I can paint on my own.”

Rhys frowned, but respected her request, walking back around the table to stand on the opposite wall. “What am I missing here?” he muttered. 

A father to his right chuckled. “Other than your sister telling Feyre you have a crush on her loud enough for the room to hear, nothing much.”

“Oh, is that all?” His eyes slid back to Feyre. Though she had likely brushed off the prospect of a date with him, something had been said that was weighing her down and it didn’t seem to lift for the rest of the lesson. He honestly didn’t care what the other guardians thought about him staying after they had all shuffled out. “Avy, put on your coat and wait by the door for me, okay?”

“Are you  asking Ms. Feyre on a date?”

“Avyanna, door.” She scampered away and he let out a long sigh, earning a chuckle from Ressina. “Sorry.”

She shook her head. “Feyre, come out here for a moment.”

“Yeah, what’s… up. Hi, Mr.—” He clicked his tongue softly. Feyre sighed in surrender. “Rhys, what can I do for you?”

Ressina was courteous enough to take up whatever was left in the back, leaving Feyre and Rhys with only a six year old for company. “This evening, it came to my attention that my sister made some insinuations that caused you discomfort.”

Her eyes widened in panic. “No!” Blushing, she cleared her throat, stating more calmly, “No, it wasn’t uncomfortable. I just didn’t want to get her hopes up. I didn’t think there was much substance behind…”

“A six-year-old’s second-hand love proclamations?”

She bit her lip. “Something like that. She just… She said it was her Christmas wish for you to be happy. I didn’t want her thinking a good holiday season hinged on romance.”

He swallowed. Did he really come off as someone so miserable Avy said this was her Christmas wish? The business demands were putting him through the wringer, but he thought he was better at wearing a mask. “I appreciate that. All the same though, if you weren’t currently seeing someone… more accurately, if you were interested in going out… Are you free on Saturday?”

Feyre chewed her lip. “Are you asking me because you want to ask me, or just to appease a six-year-old, because I won’t be part of something that—”

He waived his hand in a motion ment to cut off her concern. “If I didn’t have feelings for you I would have nipped this in the bud and left the studio as soon as her ornament was set to dry. I like you, Feyre. So what do you say?”

“Saturday. Can you pick me up from here?”

~~~~~

Taglist: @lulling-night-sky // @edgyellie // @shallyne // @the-lonelybarricade // @darling-archeron // @goddess-aelin // @the-lost-changeling // @faeriequeensuriel // @pandavelaris // @s-uppertime // @elentiya-whitethorn // @acotar-fanns // @jealousveronya // @acourtofwips // @reverie-tales // @gwynkyrie // @corcracrow // @thelovelymadone // @rosanna-writer

[jwritestuff]

older brother behavior

warnings: drinking mention (nothing graphic)

- summary: younger gn!reader meets a pretty girl, dean and sam are protective!

also: this is my first fic. i have no clue how to do this. feedback is appreciated!

dean and sam go to the bar every friday. i don't know, tradition? but i stay back. i'm not a drinker honestly. i would much rather stay at the bunker curled up with a good book. that’s definitely my kind of night.

my brothers practically begged me to go to the bar with them. they need a ‘good luck charm’ for their pool game, or whatever they call it. so i went. they don't listen to the word ‘no’.

i’m knee deep. knee deep in a new book i'm reading. exactly 237 pages in. dean and sam are playing pool, shouting whenever possible. they are definitely drunk. mid sentence, i feel a hand on my shoulder.

"hi."

oh my god.. she's so.. she has black curly hair and deep brown eyes.

"hi." i mutter. taking her in. (how do you calmly greet a hot girl?) 

"i'm charlotte" she looks at me so intensely. like we could for sure kiss right now. 

"i'm y/n." i smile, trying my best to flirt. "come, sit" i point to the seat across from me.

"what are you reading?" she asks.

and i love her already. "oh! um.. its a book about a teenage alcoholic, not my usual genre but i love this auth-" dean comes up next to my chair.

he wraps an arm around me. "hey kid! who is this?" he asks, raising his eyebrows.

I give him a pleading look that says, ‘please dont embarrass me’. 

"dean, this is charlotte. charlotte, this is dean. one of my brothers" 

"hi!" she says so sweetly may i add. i look at her for a split second, mouthing ‘im sorry’ and giving her an apologetic smile. she waves me off like it's nothing and my oldest brother isn't about to humiliate the fuck out of me.

"ah, charlotte. so what are your intentions with our y/n?" charlotte, thankfully, laughs at this.

"dude shut up" i lightly slap his arm. "go back to pool, i think sam is moving the balls around!" that gets him.

"oh shit. ok well, y/n stays right here. don't take them anywhere i can't see them" he bumps my shoulder and winks at me. i (half) playfully roll my eyes.

he finally walks away. i give charlotte a desperate look. "oh my god. i am so sorry. him and sam, my other brother, they're insanely protective when it comes to me. especially when it comes to me and girls."

she laughs. "don't be sorry! it's really sweet how they care. have you had bad experiences in the past or..?"

"not really. they kinda get all parental when i'm sad. they've seen me heartbroken three times now, so i think they're trying to avoid another one of those meltdowns."

she looks apologetic. "heartbreak is the worst."

"cheers to that" i say. holding up my.. water. but, she laughed, so i'd say thats a win.

right when i look up. i see sam. 

"hey kiddooooo" he draws out. oh god. he's for sure drunk. 

"just needed- just wan- to see what you're reading!" he's doing his best to pretend to be interested in my book, but i know better, he just wants to be sure my choice of woman is acceptable. looks at charlotte then looks at me. this goes on three more times. he mouths 'good taste' and gives me a thumbs up. i roll my eyes. "okay you can go now! thanks for checking in, i'm fine sam."

he walks away. he also winks. jesus christ get me out of here. 

"that's sam, i assume?" charlotte takes me out of my head for a second.

"uh.. yeah. again-"

"do not apologize. please. it's really adorable." so she's already picked up on my need to apologize for anything and everything. wow.

"okay." i look down, blushing. she breathes and i feel like i'm having a stroke. how is she so perfect?

"give me your phone." she says.

so of course, i hand her my phone. she says, "i'm putting in my number and following myself on instagram. that okay?"

i wanna kiss her so bad right now. just realized im staring at her lips. "i.. yes. that's perfectly okay."

she hands me back my phone. "i'll be sure to text you." she gets off the chair and comes extremely close to me. holy sh-

i'm staring at her lips again. she definitely realizes that by now. i just nod, speechless at this point. (how does she do that to me?)

she tucks my hair behind my ear and cups my face to kiss me. i kiss her back. obviously.

so yeah, i just died!

she pulls away after a minute or two. 

"see you y/n." she smirks. SMIRKS.

"bye charlotte." i say. (i've never been so red)

i turn back to my book, taking a breath. what just happened?

i was going to continue reading (not really, just think about charlotte) when i hear dean and sam whistling at me. i put my finger to my mouth, because, why are they so loud. they come back to give me a high five. i gladly accept their gesture this time.

"can't believe our little sibling got to makeout with a girl in a bar. their first time being in one. and they brought a fucking book." sam looks at dean with wide eyes. i can't say i don't agree, i didn't bring a book here to kiss a girl. but if that's what works, i'll take it.

"proud of you kid. no dates until i properly meet her. and that doesn't include you guys sucking each others' faces two feet away from us." dean says. i get off my chair and start to walk out with both of them. i'm starting to like bars.