#heart! Bellamy is the best Bellamy

[okmcintyre]

Bellamy Blake Appreciation Week: Day 7: Free Day- ‘Big Brother © Bellamy Blake'

[doks-aux]

Pie-in-the-sky dreams of Sam Bellamy, Izzy Boyfriend Extraordinaire, aside, what I really want irt Izzy’s relationships in season two is for Jim to adopt him as their emotional support grumpy old man.

[itsonlybaby]

𐙚ᣟ݂﹒𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 - 𝐛. 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞﹒

◜♡﹒﹒𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭﹒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭﹒𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

putting out so many bellamy fics, here's the playlist I listen to while writing fics

Bellamy Blake - Arkadia

꒰ ୨୧ ꒱ ⸝⸝ You had a dream about your best friend Bellamy, and you try to suppress the feelings by avoiding him. Bellamy doesn't let this slide. ﹒ 　 ⊹ 　⤷ cw: smut, piv, praise, nsfw, gentle Bellamy

His hand glided along my thigh, sending shivers down my spine. My breathing became erratic the closer and closer he got to my cunt, the place I craved his touch the most. Bellamy leaned down, giving sweet kisses to my stomach area before I finally felt his fingers on my pussy, sliding up and down coating his fingers with my slick.

I just about came when he pushed two fingers inside me, thrusting them up and hitting my sweet spot.

"Hey!" Octavia, my roommate, yelled.

I shot up instantly looking around taking in my surroundings, a wave of disappointment washing over me, suddenly missing the dream I had just awoken from. Why had I been dreaming of Bellamy of all people? He was my best friend!

My disappointment was replaced by my guilt.

"You've been asleep an hour past breakfast, wake up." She spoke, putting on her black boots and lacing them.

An hour? What happened to my alarm clock?

Octavia noticed my confused look towards my clock, "You didn't set it last night,"

Shit.

I climbed out of bed and almost tripped on my blanket. I walked to my dresser and pulled out a fairly cute outfit. Shorts, a tank top, and Bellamy's guard jacket I still needed to return. But I knew he'd have to steal it back to get it.

"Where are you off to today?" I asked Octavia, putting on my socks and then my brown boots. I saw her stand and grab her sword, placing it in the holster on her back.

"Gonna spend the day with Lincoln, makes things less boring around here." She opened the door to our room and left.

Leaving me to only my thoughts memories of the dream came flooding back to me. It was like I could actually feel his touch on my thigh. His big, calloused hands, his soft kisses to my stomach, touching me as if I were a porcelain doll.

Shaking my head I snapped out of my thoughts, I had things to do today.

Walking to my little clay shop beside the Armory I sat down on my stool. Reaching under the desk I brought out a lump of clay I left to dry.

I had a clay shop, though it wasn't really a shop. Bring me the dirt and I'll make you whatever you want. It made the days less boring and brought smiles to everyone's faces, people would commission things for their partners, moms, siblings, and friends. Knowing my little sculptures could bring such joy to the people of Arkadia was a nice feeling.

Slapping the lump down on the desk I rolled up the sleeves of Bellamy's jacket and began kneading it, this is where most of my strength came from. Once I was sure it was soft enough to work with I sat back down, dunked my hands in the water, and began sculpting. Taking mini lumps from the big piece of clay.

I had finished two before my thoughts caught up with me.

Kneading the clay again, I thought about Bellamy's hands, mouth, hair, and body. How good he'd feel against me.

"Clays not gonna knead itself," Bellamy spoke in an amusing tone.

I hadn't even noticed I stopped kneading.

The sight of Bellamy made my heart drop, without his usual jacket you could see his muscular arms, a sight I needed engraved in my brain.

Looking at his face my eyes were wide, I had hoped he didn't notice my unusual staring. I needed to get my head out of the gutter.

"Yeah, just got distracted," I replied, an awkward laugh coming after.

Bellamy raised an eyebrow, bringing his hands to his hips. He definitely noticed.

"You okay, princess?"

That name again. I practically melted every time he called me it, though I'm sure he meant it in a friendly manner it just sounded so good coming from him.

I let out a series of stutters before taking a breath, "Yes," It came out as more of a question than an answer, and I knew he didn't believe me.

Then finally, my saving grace came.

"Oh, look, customer," I say, the look on Bellamy's face still evident.

A customer from two weeks ago approached my shop, Bellamy looked between us and took his leave.

A part of me felt bad knowing I had pushed him away slightly. But id never get any work done if he was standing there looking so damn good-

"Hi, I'm here for the fox statue. For my boyfriend." She greeted me with a bright smile, clearly full of excitement to see the final result.

I returned her smile and nodded, "I remember! Let me get it,"

A few hours had passed since then and the sun was setting, many happy customers, and I somehow seemed to get a lot of work done.

Closing down shop I washed my hands in the bucket of water and walked towards the mess hall, feeling my stomach rumble.

Entering the room I looked to see what was on the menu for tonight's dinner.

Fish and tomatoes were an odd pairing but given our resources it was fairly good.

Grabbing a plate from Sinclair I searched for some familiar faces, to which I only found Bellamy.

Thinking the previous feelings for him faded I walked up and sat in front of him, a smile greeted me at my presence.

"Where is everyone?" I asked, getting comfortable and taking a bite of the fish. Not very flavorful.

"They headed to bed early,"

"Why didn't you?"

"Wanted to ask what was up with you earlier,"

Thank god I had finished my food, the intensity of his stare would've made my appetite vanish.

"I've just been distracted," I stated, hoping he would just take that for an answer. But I knew he'd keep budging.

"With?"

"I'm getting pretty tired, I'm gonna head to bed," I stood abruptly, not wishing to continue the conversation further. How else am I supposed to tell me best friend I had a wet dream about him and everytime I see him it comes back to me?

"Bye, bell," I flashed a nervous smile and quickly walked off before he could say anything else.

I knew I'd have to confront him sometime, but I'd hold off as long as I could until then.

Making it to my shared room I quickly opened the door and entered, Octavia probably spending the night in Lincoln's room. I was grateful for that, tonight I just needed to be alone.

Getting undressed I put on a pair of pajama shorts and just used Bellamy's jacket as a top.

Climbing into bed I slid under the covers, making sure to set my alarm this time.

Staring up at the ceiling for a good hour my mind clouded over with thoughts of Bellamy, it was expected at that point. I hadn't even noticed my hand going towards my cunt, rubbing myself through the fabric. Letting out soft, quiet moans at the feeling. As good as it felt I needed more.

My hand slid underneath the shorts and I teased my entrance, just as Bellamy did in my dream. Pushing into myself with two fingers the feeling was amazing, but imagining It was Bellamy again wasn't enough. I craved him, and in my lusty haze, I shot up and headed for the door.

I couldn't believe I was going to do this, I couldn't believe how badly I needed him.

I made a B-line for Bellamy's room, knocking on it. I was practically banging on it. A few seconds passed until I was met with the sight of Bellamy towering over me, his messy hair going in all directions, his shirt that hugged his arms so well, and his sweatpants that barely hid anything.

"Is your roommate in there?" I ask breathily.

With a shake of his head, I connect our lips in a messy needy kiss. The feeling of our lips touching for the first time makes me shiver, Bellamy makes no motion to push me off, instead, he pulls me inside, shutting the door with his hand. He picks me up and carries me to the bed, needing this just as much as I do.

He only pulls away when he sets me down on the bed, unzipping the jacket to find nothing under making him slyly smirk, my face flushed with an unimaginable redness. My mind now catching up with my heart.

This was really happening.

His hands gently fondle my breasts, soon snaking their way down my sides, to my hips, and then to my shorts, with every touch of his fingers, my body shivered, bathing in the attention from his hands and eyes.

He easily took off my shorts, the cool air hitting my now vulnerable warm cunt.

Bellamy was at a loss for words, never seeing something so beautiful before. The bulge in his pants now makes the material stick out in a more than noticeable way.

The feeling of embarrassment caught up with me, I moved my arms to cover myself but was stopped by Bellamy's tight grip.

"Don't," He demanded, letting go of my arms once I nodded shyly.

With a flushed face, Bellamy lowered his pants, revealing his cock. He took ahold of my legs and placed them on his shoulders, "Okay?" He asked, making sure this was really happening.

"Yeah, that's... that's good," I replied, reassuring him.

He guided his tip along my slit, coating it with my wetness as a type of lube. The feeling of him being so close to me made the hairs on my neck stand up.

I had wondered for a moment what people would think of us, but too in the moment to care.

Readying himself, Bellamy looked down at me again, taking in the sight of me with his jacket on.

"Please, I needed this," I muttered, "Needed you,"

"Feelings mutual, princess,"

And before I could reply he pushed in slowly, giving me time to adjust to his size. I let out a moan as he bottomed out in me. My hands reaching out for his, he met me halfway and grabbed ahold of them. His big hands intertwined with mine. He placed our hands above my head and gave them a squeeze.

I squeezed back, hard.

"Can I move?" He asked, he so badly wanted to move. But he wanted our first time together to be gentle, sweet, and full of genuine love.

I nodded hesitantly, preparing myself for the pain and pleasure.

Bellamy pulled out and pushed back in at a slow pace, agonizing to him, it took everything in him not to just slam back into you at a rough pace.

The moans I let out sounded like heaven to him, he couldn't help but join in with his own grunts of pleasure, the way I would tighten around him started to become too much, and he couldn't keep his own sounds in.

"You're doing so good," Bellamy assured between groans, his voice had become gruff.

I bit my lip to try and stay quiet, fearful the room next to him might hear.

Bellamy didn't like that at all, "Let them out, princess,"

And when I shook my head 'no', he slammed into me hard, forcing my moans out as I squeezed his hand more.

"Bellamy!" I moaned out.

This only egged him on, loving the way his name sounded on my tongue.

As much as it hurt, it felt amazing how well he filled me, and how easily he could hit my sweet spot.

"Faster, please," I begged, staring into his eyes.

"Alright, princess,"

Bellamy leaned in closer making my legs bend more, letting him go deeper inside me. His pace began to speed up, making my moans grow louder in volume.

Every thrust was a new place deeper inside me, I felt my legs begin to shake, the familiar feeling of ecstasy creeping up my stomach.

He must've caught on, "It's okay, cum on my dick, princess, go ahead,"

His reassuring words put me over the edge, "Bellamy, Bellamy!"

My back arched as I reached my high with Bellamy fucking me through it.

My climax brought him even closer, the way my pussy clenched around his cock was overwhelming for him. His thrusts became sloppy and unhinged. He tried to keep it in, to make this moment last longer.

His brows furrowed while he stared into my eyes, saving this memory forever, "You're so beautiful," he breathed out, "So pretty with my jacket on,"

With a few more erratic thrusts he quickly pulled out, finishing on my stomach, bringing a newfound warmth all over.

Full of hesitance he let go of my hands, taking off his shirt and cleaning his cock and my stomach off while catching his breath. He threw the shirt into a bin in the corner of his room. Now taking a place next to me, wrapping his arms around my exhausted body.

"Been dreaming of that since we met," He whispered in my ear, placing kisses all over my neck.

I smiled.

If only he knew.

◜♡﹒﹒𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭﹒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭﹒𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

[dfortrafalgar]

Hi, saw that your request were open so I was thinking on asking you for Law X fem reader where law has a crush on reader and starts hanging out and sees that one of reader’s guy friends is being way too touchy and starts touching her butt, he is also being mean to her and at one point even hits her in the head.

How would he react, I was thinking of a fluff ending.

thank you so much for your request anon!!! i really loved this one, it was super fun to write! it was definitely a bit of a struggle though, as much as i enjoy writing heavier topics, physical abuse is tricky for me to deal with, but i hope the fluff at the end delivered some resolutions <3

also, i actually really really like Bellamy as a character. i think he's super cool, but i couldnt think of anyone else who could really fit in the role he's playing in this fic LOL

Rectify

Law x Fem Reader

Law’s feelings for you are forced to clash with a loathsome person in your life.

Warnings: descriptions of brief physical abuse, implications of past abuse, very mild suggestive language, modern setting, hurt/comfort, fluffy ending

By the time Law realized his crush on you had surpassed its normal, healthy limit, it was far too late for him.  It certainly didn’t help to see you sitting next to Bellamy, tossing joking remarks back and forth.  All of you were in the same friend group, so it was truly impossible to avoid your interactions with the much larger, stronger, arguably more handsome man.  And the thought began to make Law’s blood boil.

Because Bellamy was everything Law wasn’t.

You and Law had been friends since childhood, growing up in the same neighborhood and running with the same crowd.  You were familiar with his best friends and his dad, just as Law was familiar with your closest peers.  Law liked to think that, as the years went on, the two of you grew closer and closer.  You were always far nicer to Law during his awkward teenage years, and there were a few times where the raven-haired boy grew hopeful that you might one day return his budding feelings for you, but that day never came.  And then you started college… and then you met Bellamy.

On the contrary to the black-haired medical student, the blonde was known around the entire campus as ‘The Hyena,’ and for good reason.  He was ruthless in every sport he played, a malicious, sadistic grin constantly pulling at his thin lips striking fear into the hearts of his opponents.  He was strong, freakishly so, with muscles that could rival that of an Olympic weightlifter.  His blonde hair was a hit with the ladies, and partnered with his darker skin tone and his assortment of badass tattoos, it seemed like a no brainer that women would be falling all over him.

Law just internally hated that one of those women seemed to be you.

Despite you having confirmed on multiple occasions that you and Bellamy were simply friends that you met in one of your classes, and that you truly had no interest in men like him, Law couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in his chest.

Bellamy certainly seemed to like you.  A lot.

Law watched from across the room, a plastic cup still completely full of an unidentified cocktail in his tattooed hand and the large group of friends you shared laughing and chattering around you in the living room of the house party, as one of Bellamy’s large, strong hands began to circle around your waist, gripping the soft flesh of your ass through your pants.  The sensation made you jump, trying to scurry away from him with a nervous smile on your soft lips as you awkwardly laughed at the feeling, but Bellamy tried to pull you in closer.  The couch cushions sunk under his weight, creating a deep divot that made it hard to stand up.

You lightly shoved Bellamy’s chest, mumbling something about standing to get another drink, before you were finally able to haul yourself up from the warm sofa and make your way toward the kitchen in the back of the house.  Law stood from his metal folding chair, abandoning his cup on a random end table.  He followed you diligently into the kitchen.

“Hey,” he muttered.

“Oh, hey, Law!” you returned his greeting, mild surprise filling your eyes.  “I didn’t hear you behind me!”

The man shrugged, leaning against the counter.  You awkwardly fiddled with a glass bottle of beer, using the edge of the counter to pop open the metal cap.  Law eyed you suspiciously.

“You don’t drink beer,” he stated, watching as you simply held the chilled bottle in your hands without making a move to drink it.

You smiled in response, but the gesture didn’t reach your eyes like it normally did.  “I know… I just needed to get some air away from the living room for a little bit.”

Law couldn’t hold back the question fighting on his tongue.  “Is Bellamy bothering you?”

Pointed stares were shared between the two of you before you finally, lightly, shook your head.  “No.”

“Are you sure?”  Something told him you were lying to his face.

“Yes, I’m sure,” you groaned.  “Law… I know you don’t like him… but he’s really not that bad.”

“You didn’t seem to like it when he touched your ass,” the med student grumbled.

“Law, I don’t want to fight,” you retorted, firmly.  “I don’t like it when Bellamy touches me, anywhere.  I know he’s into me but I’m not into him, but I don’t want to cause a scene at a party I was graciously invited to.”

You had a point.  Liquor was running as free as tap water within the stale, stuffy walls of the house, and saying or doing something that could potentially cause a fight wouldn’t be ideal.  Especially since the police had already been called multiple times to a house just a few steps down the sidewalk from this one.

Law wished he could open his mouth and just tell you, tell you everything that had been on his mind, how he realized just recently (and yet somehow far too late for his liking) that he’s madly in love with you, how he doesn’t want to see you be treated poorly by someone who you call a friend, how he wished so desperately that you would see him in the same way, how he longed for your touch.  But instead, he stayed silent, watching as you anxiously eyed the brown glass of the untouched beer bottle you still gripped in your hand, as if the bottle was the only thing keeping you glued to reality.

“I’m fine, Law,” you blurted.  He hadn’t said anything more.  With your eyes cast down to the floor, you left your beer bottle sitting open on the countertop before retreating back into the thick of the party.

The raven-haired student waited a few moments before returning as well, his metal folding chair unfortunately having been taken by two sweaty economics students locked in a very passionate, very inappropriate, makeout session.  He pushed his way through the mingling crowd back toward the couch where he spotted you perched on the arm of the sofa this time, Bellamy practically flush against your body on the end cushion, his palm on your ass, fingers squeezing intermittently.  The blonde was locked in an intense conversation with the man in front of him, and the look on your face screamed uncomfortable.  Law felt his stomach flip over.  Your eyes caught him again, and you frowned.  A frown so deep that it left shadows under the creases of your lips.  You looked… aged.  Stressed.  Afraid.

But Law kept his distance.

You didn’t want a scene to break out.  You could handle yourself on your own.

Bellamy’s hand trailed from your ass down your thigh, your skin still protected by the rough denim of your jeans, but that didn’t stop his fingers from crawling around the front of your body and dipping between your thighs.  The feeling of his intense hand trying to pull you apart in front of another man, without your consent, made you visibly tense up and pull away from him.  Your motions finally made the blonde’s attention snap to you, his dark eyes narrowing and somehow becoming even more villainous.

“Don’t run off,” he snapped.  “You’re sitting right here with me, all pretty like that.”

You steeled yourself.  “Then I don’t want you touching me like that.  We’re not an item, Bellamy.”

“I don’t care,” he huffed back.  “I’ll touch you however I want.”

The music of the party, the chattering voices slurred with alcohol, faded completely around Law as he watched the argument unfold before his eyes.  The only sounds entering his ear drums were the disgusting words leaving Bellamy’s mouth, the demands, the insults.  The dim lights of the living room did very little to hide the way your face contorted in discomfort, trying to pull away from the blonde athlete even more.

“Bellamy, I said no,” you snapped.  

No one seemed to be paying any attention to what was happening, all eyes everywhere but where they should have been.  When you were being closed in on by a man much larger than you, no one was looking.  You were alone.

And Law was somehow so far away.

“I don’t remember ever needing to listen to you,” the hyena chortled, his voice gravelly and nasally.  “You should be lucky that you have a guy like me who’s into you.  You’ll never be able to do better than me.”

You opened your mouth once more to shout a retort, but you were cut short.  Bellamy’s clenched fist connected with your lower jaw, swiftly knocking you to the ground in a stunned shock.  You fell like a lead brick, hitting the ground with a force that Law somehow felt through the soles of his shoes, rattling his bones and making his head spin.  Your hands blindly scraped against the floor searching for your bearings, completely disoriented from the blow that had just met your bone.  You brought one of your hands to your mouth, cupping your palm over your lips as your eyes closed, trying to block out every overwhelming color and sound filling your brain with a nuclear buzz.

And yet.  No one.  Noticed.

Law cleared the floor in an instant, just as Bellamy was yelling something about your worth being determined by your partnership with him.  The fist inked with DEATH clocked the blonde in the temple, the short, stubbly blonde hairs leaving phantom singing pain on Law’s fingers.  The hyena stumbled backward, catching himself on the arm of the sofa you were previously sitting on.

For a brief moment, the med student was gloatingly proud of himself.  His father was a retired marine after all.  Law knew a thing or two about a good punch.  His thoughts were quickly retired, however, as he crossed the crowded floor to your side, quickly helping you to your feet and pushing through the crowd with you hunched over in his arms, tripping over your heels as he rapidly escorted you to the door.

Don’t cause a scene.

Bellamy didn’t follow, and Law counted his blessings.  “Hey, your apartment’s on this street, right?”

With a hand still cupped over your mouth, you nodded.  Your eyes were barely keeping themselves open, what was visible of your face contorted in a muted agony.

If Law was any less collected, he would’ve stomped that hyena’s face in with the heel of his boot.

The two of you were barely getting anywhere with your afflicted state.  Law scooped you into his embrace, your legs wrapping around his hips and free hand clenching the soft fabric of his shirt as he carried you back to your apartment with one of his arms carefully supporting your rump.  Thank goodness you lived so close, in a converted townhouse on the corner of the same street.  Law still lived in on-campus housing across town, which was less than ideal for his tastes.  He helped you fish your key from the pocket of your pants, keeping you in his grasp while he pushed the door open and entered the narrow entryway of your home.  Your roommate was gone for the week visiting family on the other side of the country, so your place was completely dark and quiet.

Law flipped the light switch on just in time to watch you scurry to the first floor bathroom as soon as your feet touched the hard wooden floor, leaving the door open as the light in the smaller space flicked on as well.  He quickly followed, standing in the doorway as you finally pulled your hand away from your mouth.

A few droplets of blood were dotting your palm, but when you opened your mouth, a worryingly large glob of bright crimson exited past your lips and splattered in the white porcelain of the sink.  Law’s stomach lurched as he watched you try in vain to spit out the metallic liquid, your entire face scrunching up as the nauseating sensation and taste.  Your shoulders shuddered with the feeling of your gag reflex bobbing in the back of your throat, forcing your stomach to hold its contents as you released drops of bright red into the white porcelain of the wash basin.

The med student’s first thought was that one or more of your teeth had been knocked loose or even came out permanently, but nothing solid landed in the sink.  As you began to calm down from your spitting into the basin, your eyes began to well with overwhelmed tears.  You gazed at Law in the mirror, his golden eyes locked on yours as a small dribble of blood and spit slid down the skin of your chin.

Wordlessly, your friend stepped into the bathroom with you, grabbing a wad of toilet paper and wetting it with warm water from the tap, wiping away the bloody drool that left your lips.

“I know it hurts, but I need you to open for me,” he muttered, gently holding your cheek in his hand as the other one balled up the toilet paper and discarded it into the open toilet bowl.

When you opened, Law reached into the back pocket of his speckled jeans and procured his phone, clicking on the flashlight without looking at his screen.  He shined the light into your mouth and, to his relief, didn’t see any chipped, broken, or missing teeth.  He did, however, see a substantial gash on the side of your tongue.  You must have clamped down hard on the muscle with your teeth thanks to the force of the punch.  The thought made a silent rage build in Law’s gut.  He turned you around and closed the toilet lid, sitting you down and proceeding to rummage through your medicine cabinet.  

He handed you two pieces of gauze wrap from below your sink.  “I need you to hold these against the cut on your tongue, okay?  Don’t remove them until I say so.”

You diligently followed his orders, taking the dry cloth from him and inserting it painfully into your mouth to rest on the stinging wound that cut your muscle.  You watched as he continued to rummage through your supplies, pushing aside boxes of tampons and toilet cleaning chemicals and finally finding what he was hoping he would see- a brown plastic bottle.  He stood from his crouching position, the bottle in his firm grasp.  He spun the item around to gaze at its expiration date and hummed approvingly under his breath.  He quickly exited the bathroom, leaving you alone for a few fleeting moments.

While he was gone, you were able to take a better look at your face.  While one of your cheeks was puffed up slightly with the clump of gauze against your tongue, you could still make out the swelling of your skin on the same side.  A large, black and blue bruise was quickly blooming along your jaw and up your cheek, your fractured capillaries leaking into your epidermis.

Law finally returned, a very small cup in his right hand and a bottle of diluted bleach in his left from the kitchen.  You watched as he poured a small amount of clear liquid from the brown bottle into the small cup before running the sink tap and filling it the rest of the way with plain water.  He handed the cup to you with no instructions before lightly spritzing the porcelain basin with the diluted chemical, running the tap once more and washing your blood away, making sure to scrub the entire bowl.  He finally turned around to face you.

“I need you to swish that in your mouth for a few seconds, and then spit it out in the sink,” he directed.  “It might taste kind of bitter.”

You carefully pulled the gauze out of your mouth, wincing as some of the light fibers pulled against your wounded muscle, but followed his directions and tossed the contents of the small cup back into your mouth, swishing with your cheeks puffed, trying to focus the liquid onto your wound.  Just as Law warned, the taste was bitter, vaguely salty, but definitely not pleasant.  Law finally stepped aside from the sink after a long 30 seconds and let you spit.  Both the gauze and the clear solution you rinsed your mouth with were lacking blood, meaning your wound was already on the clotting and healing path.

After sputtering for a few moments, the faint smell of diluted bleach filling your nose from the sink, you placed the cup down on the counter and gazed at Law, who watched you with a keen eye.  “What was that?”

“Hydrogen peroxide and water,” he uttered.  “To disinfect your tongue.  Luckily, peoples’ mouths tend to heal much faster than other body parts, so after a day or two of discomfort, you should be back to normal.”

Cleaned and disinfected, you finally started to let your mind sink on the gravity of the situation, your heart rate increasing and your eyes once again growing heavy and blurry with impending tears.  You watched as Law, avoiding your gaze with a deep frown on his lips, grabbed your rinse cup from the counter and turned to head back to your kitchen.  You quickly grabbed the fabric of his shirt sleeve to stop him in his tracks, the fuzziness of your vision causing the colors of his form in front of you to waver and warp, but that didn’t stop you from wrapping your arms around his lean torso in a hug, the warm wetness from your eyes soaking the cotton of his clothing.

“Please don’t leave,” you uttered into his chest, your body trembling.  With the adrenaline finally subsiding, the pain radiating from your jaw grew more and more noticeable.  Every movement seemed to irritate your bruised bone, and talking felt like trying to articulate with a lead weight attached to your mandible.  

With your face smushed into his clothing, you didn’t see when Law placed the cup back down on your counter, only hearing the soft tap of the plastic against the linoleum surface.  His arms carefully, as if to not shatter you where you stood, wrapped around your waist, one hand coming to rest comfortably in between your shoulder blades, his fingers sprawling out over your spine before retracting and collecting some of the fabric from your own shirt into his inked fingers.  It felt like his hand was made specifically to bring you comfort.

—

It took some time for you to calm yourself down enough to relocate from the bathroom doorway to the small living space you typically shared with your roommate when she was home.  You listened with your head resting on a soft pillow and an ice pack nursing your jaw as Law busied himself between your bathroom and kitchen, washing the cup, cleaning off the bathroom counter and sink for a second time, and disposing of the small garbage bag where your bloody gauze had ended up.  Your living room was dark, with the only light coming from the kitchen, just enough to catch glimpses of Law’s shadow moving about the space.  Your face ached from the force of crying against your bruised jaw bone, your eyelids uncomfortably sliding over your corneas, dry and fragile after expelling what was easily the rest of the water in your body.

After what felt like an eternity, Law finally emerged from the kitchen, carefully approaching your laid out form on the couch.  He kneeled in front of you and adjusted the ice pack against your cheek slightly, the tenderness of his fingers ghosting over your own.  Your heart galloped in your chest.

“I’m sorry I dragged you into that mess,” you groaned, forcing your dry eyes closed to avoid Law’s pensive stare.

“You didn’t drag me into anything.  I acted on my own,” he replied stoically, his hand remaining within close proximity to your own.  His tattooed fingers flexed a few times, eager to take your hand in his, but he eventually relented and let his limb fall back to his side.

You shifted uncomfortably on the couch, curling your legs up toward your chest.  “But you could’ve gotten hurt.”

Law bit the inside of his cheek at your words, his own chest clenching in disdain, not for you, but for the hyena that had left you feeling such a way.  “I don’t care if I get hurt if it means you stay safe.”

When your eyes opened, they were small.  Weak.  Like you had been fighting some unknown battle in your skull for as long as you could remember.  You truly looked tired and ragged, and Law wanted nothing more than to hold you in his arms until all your life’s woes flushed away like the aftermath of a rainstorm.

“Law…” you began, your mouth opening and closing a few times, at a loss for what to continue with.  “I never really liked Bellamy.”

The man stayed quiet, his lips pulled in a taut line.

“But sometimes, when you get really uncomfortable, all you can do is laugh and smile.  Because you hope that acting friendly and cordial and cute will keep you safe from danger.”  Your voice was so fragile, your words mumbled as you continued to cradle your jaw with the thawing ice pack against your skin.  “I never wanted to hang out with Bellamy, but he scared me so much and I just… didn’t know how to say no.  I didn’t want to get hurt.”

Again.

Law’s own jaw clenched, suppressing a bubbling rage as he relived the blonde’s actions from a few hours prior.  A deep-rooted maniacal side of the medical student wished he could gut the D-1 athlete in his sleep, but what good would that do?  It certainly wouldn’t help you in the way you needed it.  And the fact that your attempts to protect yourself had only led you to getting attacked in the first place made his blood boil in his veins.  But he needed to stay calm for you.  Anger solves no issues.  He learned that from Cora, his best friends, and now you.

A bout of anger got you out of the situation you were stuck in, and now you needed comfort.

“What…” he began, stumbling.  “What do you want from me?  To help you?”

After a few brief moments of silence, the only sound cutting through the darkness being the faint wrrr of your air conditioning unit, you finally spoke up.  “Can you spend the night with me?”

Law blinked once, then twice.  “Here?”

“Yeah.  In my room.”

He gazed at you through the darkness, his golden eyes widened.  “Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

You emitted a small gust of air through your nose.  “I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.”

Fair enough.  “Do you have anywhere you want me to sleep?” he asked, helping you sit up against the couch cushions and carefully easing the ice back off of your jaw.  The swelling had gone down substantially, but it would still take a week or two for the bruise to fully heal.

One of your hands remained planted against his shoulder, gripping the cotton of his shirt.  “In my bed.  I feel safe with you, Law.  It’s really okay.”

After receiving your words of affirmation, Law stood from his crouched position and guided you to stand through the darkness, his hand in yours and the other clutched around the ice pack.  He discarded the item on your kitchen counter to be dealt with in the morning, keen on getting you comfortable under your secure blankets.  You gladly followed him, stepping carefully through the dark home into your bedroom where you blindly navigated to your bedside lamp, pulling down on the cord to activate the light.  The warm orange glow flooded the room, making the two of you squint your eyes.

Law could finally see just how bad your bruise really was.  A large, black and blue swollen welt tinged with red the exact size of a harshly clenched fist was carved across your skin.  The sight of the impact was much more swollen compared to the other side.  You had taken a hit most street thugs hadn’t ever dealt with.

“It’s really bad, isn’t it,” you asked, voice still paper-thin and anxious. 

“It’s… definitely a decent injury,” Law responded bluntly, inwardly cursing himself at his awkward language.

You didn’t hold it against him, however.  Instead, you stripped off your clothes, crawling into bed and leaving the other side open for Law.

“You’re really okay with this?” he asked, one more time.

You nodded.  “Yes.”

Law followed your initial lead, taking off his jeans, followed by his shirt and socks, leaving only his boxers covering him.  He carefully crawled into the space in your blankets you had left open for him, laying on his back like a plank with his hands awkwardly draped over his abdomen.  You pulled down on the cord to your lamp once more and flooded the room with darkness.

The med student felt the mattress dip as you moved closer to him, effortlessly draping yourself over his body, as if you were made to fit into the crevice of his neck.  His hands found their position around your back and waist yet again, surrounding you in the comfort you had been longing for all night.  You nestled your face into the soft skin of his neck, slow, deep breaths setting a hypnotic, drowsy pace for the both of you to fall into slumber.

No words had to be exchanged, not until the morning at least.  Your legs tangled together and your hearts beating in sync did all the talking for now.

[black-dragon1998]

Lone wolf Chapter 12

Summary: Clarke and Y/N resove their fight.

Notes: Trying to get back into writing for this story.

previous chapters: part 1- part 2- part 3- part 4- part 5- part 6- part 7- part 8 - part 9- part 10-part11

Clarke quickly approached your joined tent, hoping you were there. When she only saw Lexa and Madi, her heart sank. Lexa could see the distress on Clarke's face as she neared the tent. What had happened, and where were you?

"Clarke, hodness. What happened?" It was hard for Lexa not to run to her distressed wife, but Lexa had an image to uphold in unfriendly territory. When Clarke was inside the safety of their tent, she couldn't hold back any longer, so she pulled Clarke close to her with the arm that wasn't holding Madi. Clarke couldn't stop her tears when she felt Lexa pull her closer, missing you.

"Lexa, I did something stupid." Clarke sobbed into Lexa's shoulder.

"It's okay, Clarke, I have you. Whatever happened, I'm sure we can talk about it." Lexa tried to reassure her wife. The three of you had had your arguments before, and they were usually resolved quickly.

"no, Lexa! You don't understand. I have never seen (Y/N) look at me like that."

"Clarke, sweetheart. Tell me what happened from the beginning. Cause you aren't making any sense." Lexa said while leading Clarke toward a chair so she could sit. Madi immediately hugged Clarke the moment she sat down.

"hugs, mommy. Mama says hugs make everything better." Madi looked up at Clarke with a toothy smile. Clarke managed to give a tear-filled smile back. You had been right. Had anyone else caused this commotion, Clarke wouldn't have thought twice about your reaction.

After a couple of deep breaths, Clarke got her breathing under control. She hugged Madi tightly. Lexa, who had watched Clarke run through all the emotions, sat beside her wife as Clarke told her story through hiccups and tears. Lexa listened. It wasn't Lexa's place to choose a side. She just wanted everybody to be safe at home again.

Lexa suggested giving you some time. That way, both you and Clarke could calm down. So when you return, both of you can have a calm conversation. If there was one thing Lexa knew for certain, you loved her and Clarke.

Madi, who hadn't understood the conversation her mothers had been having, just sat there. The thing Madi did understand was that her mommy was sad and that her mama was gone. Seeing her mommy so sad made Madi want to do something about it. Maybe if she found you, you could come and give Mommy your hugs. They always made her feel better.

Sneaking outside, Madi immediately went to the three who would help her. Winter, Rain and Wood were close to the tent and got up when they noticed Madi approaching them. For them, Madi was the pack's pup and needed protection.

"We have to find mama. Mommy sad." Madi walked into the woods, surrounded by the three dire wolves. The wolves immediately tried to locate the scent of their master and started to lead Madi in that direction.

You had cooled off a little after your argument with your wife. You weren't able to go back to the tent just yet. So, you sat on a log and reviewed your emotions and thoughts. You Weren't mad at Clarke. Your feelings got the best of you after a hard couple of days. You also knew Clarke was under much stress, and your clashes with Bellamy weren't helping.

Sitting there for a few minutes, you notice someone approaching you. You ready yourself for whatever it is that comes through the clearing.

"Madi?" Hearing your voice, Madi ran toward you and flung herself at you.

"mama! Found you." You looked her over for any injury she could have gotten while walking through the woods. When you didn't see anything, you looked her in the eyes.

"what are you doing here? Do Mommy or nomon know you are here?" you knew the answer already. No way would your wives let Madi walk through the woods alone. Madi, however, seemed to be concerned about other things.

"mama! Mommy, sad. Sorry. Needs you." Madi wiggled herself out of your hold and pulled you toward the camp. When you didn't follow, Madi looked up at you with a pretty impressive glare. Clarke would be so proud.

"mama! Mommy cried." That did break your heart. Lexa nor Clarke cried easily. Meaning she must be feeling pretty big emotions. Sucking up your feelings, you pick Madi up and start walking toward the rest of your family.

When Clarke spotted you walking toward her, she flings herself at you. She was starting to apologize profusely. You let her ramble for a moment while holding her close.

"It's okay, Clarke. We were both at fault. I shouldn't have let my temper get the best of me and should also have considered your feelings. I get more territorial around certain Skaikru." You kissed Clarke on the forehead before kissing her on the lips. You feel her sag against you and hold her closer. Out of the corner of your eyes, you spot Lexa smiling. Reaching out for her, Lexa picks up Madi and joins the embrace.

"I love the three of you so much." You confess. Having this rare moment of vulnerability reserved for your family.

You and Clarke eat dinner before taking a quick bath and turning in for the night. Agreeing that you would be taking a more back-seated role in the negotiations, limiting your contact with the Skaikru. Your best warriors would still shadow Lexa and Clarke. That was the only condition you had.

part 13

Taglist

@trikruismybitch

@fayhar

@scruffyumbreon

@nocturnal-ace

@poison-blackheart

@simp4panos

[heartybubs]

change

the 100 [ bellamy blake x reader ]

type : angsty, maybe a bit fluffy?

tropes: forced proximity, best friends to lovers

warnings: mentions of anxiety, heavy language, lowkey manipulative bellamy

in which bellamy blake and reader used to date but when he spiraled after octavia was arrested and his life fell apart, he distanced himself from her. after he begs her to trust him blindly and she does, they have to figure out their relationship on earth as neither of them is able to let it go.

a/n: hii, this is my first piece of writing in a loooong long time but i’m really enjoying the 100 again and i’ve noticed a severe lack of bellamy content on here, so i hope you like it! i don’t think i used any pronouns but i did use the term “girl” multiple times to describe reader! w.c.: 4.831

after octavia was discovered, he lost his job and his mum was floated, bellamy fell into a terrifying rabbit hole of depression. he lost himself with everything else in his life and instead of holding on to you, he wanted you to do better than him; so he ignored you. of course it made everything worse than it already was but it helped to tell himself he was actually saving you, despite seeing you fall apart piece by piece for months. he knew you'd get it together at some point, you had a great life going for you and he didn't want to risk you losing it at anytime soon, especially not because of him.

so when commander shumway approached bellamy and asked him to assassinate chancellor jaha in return of being able to go to earth with his sister and he said yes with barely any hesitation, he couldn't help but think about you, the girl he was so deeply in love with.

so now, bellamy was close to sprinting across the hall, giving his all to reach your door as fast as he could. he was going to earth, he had already shot the chancellor, but he couldn't leave you behind, no matter how hard he tried, not even after all those months of breaking your heart.

but just because he broke your heart that didn't mean he didn't love you the entire time.

you had taken the day off of guard duty, not feeling well as your three year anniversary with bellamy was approaching or, well, it would've if he hadn't abandoned you a few months ago.

although you tried your hardest to get it together, especially because you didn't want to risk your job as a guard on the ark, you couldn't just forget about bellamy. you had never loved anyone like him and no one had ever hurt you like he had.

there was aggressive knocking on the door, startling you immediately. you sighed frustratedly, there was no one who'd have time, or even want to, visit you in the middle of the day. especially not that desperately, since whoever was disturbing your peace got more and more aggressive with each knock.

you opened the door and before you could say anything, you were pushed into your room by a strong, all too familiar man. not being able to comprehend, you simply stared at the tan man in front of you, admiring his freckled face you had missed so much.

"bellamy? wha-", he cut you off, shaking his head frantically.

"look, y/n, this has gotta be really weird for you right now, but we have to leave. like, now. you have to come with me, okay?", although he was clearly stressed, there was a softness to be noticed in his voice that you knew all too well. you also recognized that he wasn't exactly asking you to come with him, he was telling you to.

"bellamy, what do you mean? you can't just come here and, and.. bellamy i don't understand! why are you wearing a guard’s uniform?", you rambled, looking at him more than desperate for answers. you knew that you would follow him anywhere but you didn't want to. you shouldn't after what he did to you.

he sighed, looking around nervously before taking a deep breath in and putting his hands on your cheeks. he held your face in his hands, pulling you a bit closer to him as he looked into your eyes.

"y/n, i beg you, you have to trust me, okay? i know i haven't been the best.. the best to you but if there's one thing you can do for me, even if it's the last time you ever help me out again, i need it to be today, right now", he noticed your big eyes, only now realizing that this might not work out and it scared him, terrified him even. "y/n..y/n, baby please. i'm begging you, begging. we don't have time, we need to go, please trust me, please y/n!"

"okay, bell."

you could tell how much this relieved him immediately and right as a little smile started showing, he pulled you out of your room, swiftly grabbing your necklace you always kept next to your keys and dragged you through the ark. it felt like you were running through the entire space station and when you finally slowed down, bellamy didn't give you a single second to ask questions.

he just motioned to you to be silent as he carefully pushed you towards something you recognized to be a dropship. your eyes widened in panic, what the hell was going on here.

"bellamy, serious-", he simply covered your mouth and shoved you into the dropship before closing the door. as panic overtook you and your breathing got heavier, your perception lessened. without bellamy pushing you around and doing whatever you needed to do for you, you wouldn't have gotten anything done.

you were clearly having a panic attack and while it hurt bellamy to not be able to help you get through right now, he had to prioritize your safety during the travel to earth and before you knew it, you passed out.

{ ~* }

you felt soft taps on your shoulder as you slowly regained consciousness. slowly raising your head before finally opening your eyes and looking around. you were still in the dropship but you were all by yourself, no sight of bellamy. of course.

the person who'd been trying to wake you was a boy you recognized as wells jaha, the chancellor's son. he looked at you, relief basically written all over him as you finally reacted to his attempts of waking you up. "i'm so glad you're awake, i almost thought you wouldn't wake up again. wait, let me help you out."

he started to unbuckle you, holding you up as you were still a bit weak from your intense panic attack. he could tell how confused you were immediately.

"i'm wells, you're a guard, right? why'd they send you to earth with us?", wells questioned as your eyes widened.

"earth?!", you repeated immediately, not believing what you heard and completely ignoring his question. you couldn't be on earth, it wasn't even going to be habitable for the next three generations so how could you be on earth now, alive?!

wells didn't really know how to react, he had expected you to know but you were just as, probably even more clueless than the delinquents. he decided not to engage in any more conversation, respecting your space as he figured you'd want some time to cope, as well as recovering from whatever made you pass out.

you were thankful for being left alone, slowly standing up and once you felt stable enough to walk to the hatch, you followed the ladder down. immediately you were met with the most beautiful sight you've ever seen.

tall trees, their roots covered in beautiful, bright green plants and, of course, many people all around the area.

you didn't care about them though, the only person you wanted to find was bellamy, he had to explain himself. what was he thinking, taking you to earth without even telling you?!

luckily, it didn't take you long to find him. he was talking to a girl much shorter than him; she had dark brown hair and bright blue eyes and although you hadn't seen her that well the last time, the day she was arrested, you were certain it was bellamy's little sister octavia.

you walked over to them, careful not to overestimate your strength yet and once bellamy noticed you, he got tense immediately.

"y/n, how are you?", he spoke up, seemingly interrupting octavia who simply looked at you curiously. while she had never really met you, she knew so much about you. everytime bellamy told her a story to fall asleep to, it was always about princess y/n and once she got older, he finally revealed that you were actually his girlfriend. she loved what she'd heard so far but she decided to lay low, not wanting to interrupt the two of you.

"i'm good. bellamy, what the fuck is going on, are we really on earth? you have to-", he sighed loudly before cutting you off. "i'm glad you're feeling good. you shouldn't stress yourself too much, you're probably still a bit weak, okay? enjoy earth."

the usual softness in his voice was all gone, leaving nothing, but unfamiliar coldness as he walked off. what the fuck was his problem.

"i should've known that he'd leave me again, why did i fucking come", you mumbled angrily. you really had every right to be angry at bellamy, but if you were being honest, you were probably way more disappointed than angered by the man who once loved you as much as you love him.

octavia looked at you confusedly, not being able to follow at all. "what do you mean again, you're y/n, his girlfriend y/n right?"

"i don't even know what i am to him anymore", you answered, feeling tears shoot up to your eyes. no, you couldn't cry about him anymore, you had wasted too many tears on his egoistic ass.

octavia's eyes softened, similarly to how bellamy's used to. she walked up to you and hugged you carefully, not wanting to disrespect your personal space beyond your liking. you hugged her back, appreciating her sympathy a lot and although you kinda didn't want to spend time with bellamy's younger sister, you didn't want to punish her for something out of her power. she had dealt with that too much already.

"my brother can be a real ass sometimes but he'll get over it, i think i know how much he loves you", she spoke softly, smiling at you. you smiled back at her but realized that she really had no clue how over the two of you were.

{ ~* }

days on days passed and not a single interaction between bellamy and you happened. you wanted to talk to him so desperately but whenever you approached him, he'd find a way to get away from you as soon as possible. it felt like you were back on the ark, trying to understand why your boyfriend of two years was suddenly ignoring and avoiding you.

you wanted to fight for his attention, you really tried to but when he set up a knife fight between john murphy and wells, you figured that you had to say goodbye to the idea of ever getting anything positive out of a conversation with him. the bellamy you once loved was probably gone for good and whatever egoistic, violent leader he had become now, was no one you wanted around you.

this time, you really had to get over him.

it honestly made you sick to watch him act like the born leader of the delinquents and it was almost worse to see them follow him blindly. he was leading them to do horrible things, he was clearly motivating their aggression and allowed them all to be terrible to each other.

of course you were angry, but it also confused you a lot. bellamy really terrified you, he was going down a path you couldn't follow and he wasn't anything like he used to be back in the ark, back when he was still your bellamy.

he used to be sweet, loving and caring but now it was so obvious that he was using the 100 delinquents to reach his own goal, you just couldn't figure out what goal that could be. another thing you were pretty confused about, was the fact he took you with him. when he begged you to come with him, he was so different. it almost felt like he loved you again, you were embarrassed to admit that you thought things would get better now, that everything would be like it was back then and you knew that you deserved better, no one, not even john murphy deserved to be treated like bellamy had treated you that past year. still, you just couldn't let him go, so you decided it was time for some distraction.

while you really enjoyed spending time with clarke, learning a bit from her medical knowledge, as well as simply making a new friend, you needed more. literally, you had no one besides bellamy, octavia and clarke and you didn't actually have any of them. you needed to make friends.

deciding to go against bellamy's orders to stay with clarke, something he hadn't told you personally, instead sending one of his little minions your way, you left the drop ship in search for something else to do. you weren't gonna let him tell you what to do, not if he didn't even have the balls to talk to you himself.

right as you left the dropship, you immediately spotted a tall boy with funny googles on his head walking towards one of the gates and decided to approach him. you remembered his name, joshua, or jasper.

"hey jasper", you smiled at him and he immediately smiled back. "hey y/n, i'm just heading out for the hunt."

you raised your eyebrow. hunt? that was perfect for you. not only did you ace pike's earth skills class, but you were also a trained guard. of all the people in your camp, it was safe to assume that you'd be the best at it.

"can i come too? i think i'd be a lot of help", you spoke nicely and without even thinking about it, jasper nodded. his smile grew as he was more than willing to spend some more time with you.

"i'm sure bellamy won't mind", he said and although you really didn't want to be around bellamy for once, it upset you even more that he couldn't even ask you to go with them. he knew just as well as you did that they needed you and that you were the best shot they had, probably even better than him since you actually finished your guard training.

you followed jasper out of the walls, stopping right outside as you joined the rest of the hunting trip. there were about seven unknown faces and of course bellamy’s. as soon as he saw you, he tensed up, leaving you to sigh annoyingly and roll your eyes.

"y/n get back inside the walls, it's not safe outside", he said, voice stern, motioning for you to turn around and go. you immediately shook your head.

"i'm gonna come with you guys, i'm literally your best shot and you won't even notice me, i'll be with jasper the entire time", you complained. he knew you wouldn't change your mind but he wouldn't risk your safety. bellamy trusted jasper but not with you, he trusted no one when it came to you. no one, not even yourself, would protect you as well as he would and although he had been avoiding you for days now, expecting to keep going until he knew you'd gotten over him completely, he had to be the one going with you.

"yea no, you're either coming with me or not at all, y/n. this is your first time outside the walls and i wanna make sure you find your way back home, alright?! however, if you don't want to go with me that's fine. stay back and help clarke then. got it?!", he was convinced he'd make you change your mind.

"fuck you, bellamy. really, let's just go already", you were angry. he was treating you like a complete stranger and you actually felt a bit embarrassed in front of the other people. what was he thinking talking to you like that in front of so many of the others, it was unnecessary.

he was caught by surprise by your response, less because of your words, but way more because you actually chose to come with them. he was so sure you would never want to be alone with him after all he had done but this just proved that it wasn't enough yet.

he should've known better than to expect you to just stop loving him that easily. hell, how could you get over him, if he couldn't even go a single hour without thinking about you.

"okay then", bellamy said before everyone split up and went into different directions. you followed him, making sure you stayed behind.

"you know damn well that i'd be a great help. should've gotten your shit together and asked me", you mumbled and although he heard what you said, he decided not to respond.

you two were walking for a pretty long time, killing some birds on your way. obviously that wouldn't be enough for the entire camp to eat so you kept going. there wasn't much talking done either, you were able to work together without speaking, you had always been able to.

of course it was awkward, but it went fine until a loud sound rang through the woods. bellamy turned to you immediately, eyes wide as he grabbed your wrist and started running. despite having never left the camp, you knew that this was an alarm to warn about the yellow fog that was incredibly toxic and even deadly.

the two of you ran as fast as you could until bellamy noticed something in the ground that looked like a door to a bunker. he immediately pushed you in front of him and told you to go in, following closely as he rushed to close the door before the fog could get you. bellamy turned on his flashlight while your breath was shaky as you put a hand up to your heart. your athleticism wasn't an issue, your anxiety however was.

"y/n, are you okay?", bellamy asked softly as approached you, reaching for your shoulder but before he could touch you, you backed away.

"bellamy stop, stop doing this", he looked at you with a questioning expression on his face. "you know what i mean."

he simply shook his head, lowering it before quietly saying "i'm sorry, y/n, but i really don't. i just wanna make sure you're okay."

you huffed, did he even believe his own words? you were annoyed by his obliviousness and slid down the wall, he did the same oppositely from you.

neither of you said anything for some time but with every minute that passed, you feared that he would leave the bunker at the first chance he'd get, ruining your only opportunity to have the conversation you've been wanting to have for almost a year now.

"look, bellamy.. i just don't understand how you could do what you did. you're confusing me", you explained quietly, not wanting to look at him yet.

"i know, i don't understand either", he spoke back and as your eyes met, you could tell he wasn't lying. "i was angry, angry at everyone, even you. and i know that it wasn't fair, i wasn't treating you how i should have but when i lost everything, i was ashamed. you deserved better than that and i knew you wouldn't just let me go."

"literally what were you thinking?!  i was with you through any hardships you ever had to go through. what made you assume id just leave you, what made you think that after two years with you, i'd just abandon you. what for?! having a sister? i'm not the fucking council, you should know me better than that", you were angry but you didn't want to yell at him, you wanted this to work.

he sighed, he didn't know what to tell you. of course you were right, he fully agreed but what good would him agreeing do?

"talk to me, bellamy", you basically begged.

"i'm sorry, y/n. i have never regretted anything as much as breaking your heart. you were on my mind every single day", he said truthfully, not being able to look into your eyes as he spoke until he lifted his head. "if i could turn back time, i would. i am so sorry for ruining what we had."

you stared into his eyes, giving yourself time to think about what he just told you. you'd do anything to go back to how things were, you missed bellamy so much.

"me too", you then admitted. "you know, it would've been our three year anniversary a few days ago", you said and laughed slightly. bellamy smiled at you, oh how he had missed your laugh.

"i know", he said and reached into his pocket. "i didn't get you anything new and i know that i can't just regift something i already gave you years ago but i grabbed this when i asked you to come with me and i just.. didn't have time to give it to you yet."

you listened curiously, watching him pull out a silver necklace he once gave you. your mouth and eyes widened in excitement, it was your favourite piece of jewelry ever since you'd gotten it, but when you realized you didn't have it on you, you were sure you'd never see it again and it made you incredibly sad.

"oh my god, you took it with you? thank you so much, bellamy! i was missing it already", you admitted, excitement lacing your voice. he smiled again and handed you your necklace you put on immediately.

you smiled down at yourself, carefully grabbing the star charm.

"i missed seeing you like this, you are so beautiful, y/n", bellamy spoke quietly, you simply halted in your movement. your eyebrows were raised slightly as you looked at him, what was he doing?

"y/n, i know that i don't deserve your forgiveness, fuck, i don't even deserve you! but please, i'm begging you to forgive me for what i did. i don't expect it to be easy, but-"

"why did you ask me to come with you, bell?", you interrupted him. it took him a second before he chuckled and looked to the side, then focusing on you again.

"i spent so many months ignoring you, thinking i was making things so much better when i actually ruined us. i already told you that i thought about you every single day and i knew i wouldn't survive to go down here without you", he explained. "i know that it was incredibly selfish of me to bring you here and at first i didn't want to because i didn't want to expose you to all these dangers earth might bring. i wanted you to do better than me, that's why i distanced myself from you, but i was a fool to think this would work. the hold you have on me and my life is actually insane, y/n. when i had the opportunity to protect my sister and to take you down with me, i just-"

"wait, bellamy, why are you even here in the first place", you questioned. there was no way you wouldn't know about his mission but a janitor did.

his expression changed immediately, his jaw tensed and you could tell how scared he was to tell you, but he also didn't want to lie to you. not right now, not apart of this conversation.

"y/n, i messed up, okay.. i did things i regret and leaving you wasn't my only mistake, but i couldn't let my sister go to earth unprotected, alright? i had to make sure she was safe", he rambled immediately, panic lacing his voice. you on the other hand, only got more suspicious of him. "i shot chancellor jaha on shumway's request."

your eyes widened in shook, you couldn't believe what you just heard. "what, i-"

you wanted to be upset at him so bad but something in you couldn't. "is he.."

"i don't know, that was the goal", he answered quietly, not daring to look up.

"oh my god, bellamy! are you kidding me, you can't just shoot the chancellor, you can't shoot anybody actually!"

"y/n, i know, please. i know that i messed up but i can't change it anymore", he sighed before running his hand through his hair. by now, it was finally curly and loose again and you couldn't help but notice how good he looked. but that wasn't the point, not at all.

"do you though? you changed, bellamy. you have become someone i don't recognize, whats gotten into you?!", you got up from the ground, looking around helplessly. "first you shoot the chancellor and then you lead these kids in the aggressive way you do. do you even notice what you're creating?", at this point you were yelling, you didn't care anymore.

"y/n don't yell at me", he said but you just shook your head. he got up and approached you but you backed away like earlier.

"for fucks sake, stop telling me what to do! you're not my leader, if anything, you're my boyfriend, or ex boyfriend. hell, i don't even know what we are because you didn't have the fucking balls to actually break up with me before being an asshole. i have every right to yell at you", you hissed and you could see how much your words hurt him but bellamy wasn't gonna stay quiet this time.

"i never broke up with you because i didn't fucking want to. i didn't treat you like it but fuck, y/n i love you", he was raising his voice as well now.

"loved, you loved me, you don't anymore", you said and it seemed like this time, you went too far.

"shut the fuck up, y/n. don't say shit like that, don't disrespect me like that", he yelled at you, knowing full well that your disrespect wasn't even comparable to what he put you through. "don't accuse me of not loving you because i could never stop loving you. there wasn't a single day in the past five years where i didn't love you and you know that this is true, we both do!"

you bit your lip as you tried to calm yourself. the adrenaline was overwhelming at this point but still you somehow knew that he was right. you believed him.

"and you don't have to forgive me for what i did and for the way i'm leading these kids but you know damn well that i'd do anything for you and that i love you", his voice was softening again as he was calming down too. "and i know that you're not over me. you wouldn't have come with me, if you didn't love me at least a little bit."

you took a deep breath in, he was right. of course he was, but you couldn't just forgive and forget.

"y/n, baby, i'm not asking you to forget what i did, please don't. i just wanna know that i am right and that i still know you and most importantly; that i didn't ruin your life even more when i brought you down here", his voice got quieter and you could even hear it breaking towards the end of his sentence.

"yes, bellamy i still love you", you simply admitted, sad eyes meeting his right before he pulled you into his arms.

you didn't resist because you needed this, it was what you'd been seeking for all these months.

bellamy was relieved that you still loved him. he didn't expect everything to magically be amazing again but he knew that he hadn't lost you yet. he still had a chance for redemption and he was going to fix things. he was going to be a better man for you.

his strong arms were wrapped around you tightly, holding you against his chest as he also enjoyed feeling your touch again.

"i love you so much, y/n. i'll fix everything, okay? i will never hurt you ever again and we can work through this, if you want to. i missed you so much, baby", he said. his hand was now holding your cheek as he looked into your glossy eyes.

you nodded, believing him again.

you were hoping that he was saying the truth, that he would never mess it up again. you just wanted to love him again, but you weren't stupid, things, he would have to change first.

[littlemissvenom0]

Bellamy Blake- I’ll be there for her, always.

Landing on Earth felt like a miracle to Bellamy. He’d spent every day of the last few years thinking of Octavia, but also of you, his best friend who had been there for him through everything. You had been more than a friend — you’d been family, even taking the blame for him when Octavia had been caught, the day she was discovered and they took you away. You’d shielded Octavia in ways Bellamy could never repay, supporting her when they sent both of you to prison.

He hadn’t seen you since, and the absence felt like a dull ache every day. So when he learned you were one of the delinquents sent down to Earth, the relief had been almost overwhelming. He’d barely dared to hope he’d see Octavia again, much less you.

Bellamy spotted Octavia first. She ran to him, and he pulled her into a fierce hug, relief and joy flooding him as he held her tight. But as they broke apart, Octavia gave him a soft, knowing smile.

“There’s someone else here you need to find, Bell,” she murmured, her eyes filled with warmth. “Y/N’s here too. She took care of me in lockup, and she was the reason I made it out okay.”

The weight of her words hit him like a shock. You were here. Somewhere in this strange, wild new world, you were out there, alive and safe. Bellamy’s eyes scanned the camp, heart pounding until he finally saw you near the edge of the forest, alone and staring at the sky as if you couldn’t quite believe it was real.

He barely realized he was moving until he was right in front of you. You turned, your gaze meeting his, and for a moment, you both just stood there, speechless. The years of separation, of missed memories and unspoken words, fell away, and before he knew it, he’d pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around you as if he’d never let go.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” he murmured, voice rough with emotion.

You held him just as fiercely, your face pressed against his chest. “Same here, Bell. I missed you so much.”

For a moment, you stayed like that, neither wanting to pull away, sharing the comfort of each other’s presence. And though neither of you voiced it, there was a deep, unspoken understanding between you both, as if each could feel what the other felt. Neither of you wanted to disturb this delicate peace — not now. And so you parted, sharing a quiet smile before moving on, each of you content, even if the words remained unsaid.

When Clarke proposed a mission to scout the area for food and find a safe place to settle, Bellamy considered going, but his responsibilities in camp kept him there. Besides, Octavia had joined the mission, and while he wanted her to be safe, he knew he couldn’t always protect her. But you stepped forward immediately, volunteering to go with the group.

“You don’t have to worry, Bell,” you told him confidently, a reassuring smile on your lips. “I’ll be there for her, always.”

Bellamy nodded, his gaze lingering on you, worry etched into his features. “Just promise me you’ll be careful.”

“Of course,” you said with a smile. “I’ll see you soon.”

With a final glance, you joined Clarke, Finn, and the others, your resolve steeling as you headed out into the unfamiliar forest.

The group’s progress was steady but slow. You kept Octavia close, navigating treacherous rivers and dense woods. When you reached a river crossing, Clarke offered to scout the water’s depth, but you volunteered to go first, stepping forward with cautious determination. As you waded into the water, you felt the chill creep up your legs, focusing only on keeping your balance on the slick rocks beneath.

The spear came out of nowhere, slicing through the air with deadly accuracy and embedding itself in your side. The impact knocked you back, and you fell into the icy water, the world spinning as pain exploded through your body.

Your vision blurred as you hit the riverbed, the sound of rushing water echoing in your ears. You felt hands grabbing you, voices shouting your name as your friends pulled you from the water, carrying you to shore. You could barely keep your eyes open, barely see Octavia’s terrified face, before darkness claimed you.

When the others returned to camp with you in tow, Bellamy’s heart plummeted. You were unconscious, pale and still, with a blood-soaked bandage covering your side. He was at your side in seconds, his hands hovering over you, helpless and lost as he looked to Clarke for an explanation.

“She was hit,” Clarke said, her voice strained. “A spear wound. She needs rest and clean bandages, but… we don’t have supplies for this.”

Bellamy clenched his fists, fear and frustration welling up inside him. He stayed by your side day and night, refusing to leave you even as the days passed. He held your hand through your fevered dreams, sponging your forehead when the heat threatened to consume you, whispering words of comfort even when he wasn’t sure you could hear him.

By the third day, he noticed the fever getting worse. Your skin was flushed, your breathing shallow, and Bellamy’s heart sank as he realized the wound had become infected. The infection spread quickly, and soon your body was wracked with chills, your forehead burning as you tossed and turned in feverish agony.

Bellamy spent those nights caring for you, refusing to give in to exhaustion as he stayed at your side. He did what he could to soothe you, wiping your face, whispering stories from their childhood, anything he could think of to bring you back to him.

On the fifth night, your fever reached its peak, and Bellamy watched helplessly as you shivered and sweated, your body burning up under his touch. He took a damp cloth and gently wiped your forehead, his hand trembling as he worked, praying silently that you’d pull through.

“Come on, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice rough and broken. “You’re stronger than this. You’ve always been the strongest of us. You’ve never given up, and I need you to keep fighting now.”

Clarke came by regularly, checking your condition, but the worry in her eyes only deepened as the days passed. Bellamy could see her doubt, and he felt it creeping into his own heart, though he shoved it down, refusing to accept it. He stayed awake night after night, his hand never leaving yours.

Finally, on the seventh day, your fever began to break. Bellamy had just dozed off when he felt your hand shift in his. His eyes flew open, and he watched in awe as you stirred, your eyes fluttering open to meet his gaze.

“Bell…” you murmured, voice weak and raspy.

He reached forward, relief flooding his face as he cupped your cheek. “Y/N. You’re awake.” His voice was filled with awe and relief, his thumb tracing soft circles on your skin as if afraid you might vanish.

You gave him a small, tired smile, blinking up at him. “You… stayed?”

“Of course I stayed,” he whispered, his voice barely above a murmur. “I thought I’d lost you, Y/N. I… I couldn’t bear it.”

You looked up at him, heart swelling at the depth of emotion in his eyes, a mix of relief, fear, and something else — something deeper that you couldn’t quite name.

He took a shaky breath, his gaze intense as he held your hand tightly. “I don’t want to lose you,” he said, voice thick with emotion. “I should’ve told you this a long time ago, but I was too scared. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you, of ruining what we have. But these past few days… they’ve made me realize I can’t keep this to myself anymore.”

Your heart skipped a beat, his words sinking in as he continued.

“Y/N, I love you,” he whispered, his voice raw and honest. “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. You’ve always been there for me, for Octavia… and I need you to know how much you mean to me.”

Tears stung your eyes, and you managed to squeeze his hand, your voice barely more than a whisper. “Bellamy, I… I love you too. I have for so long. I just… didn’t know how to tell you.”

A look of pure relief and joy crossed his face, and he leaned forward, pressing a gentle, lingering kiss to your forehead. His hand brushed over your cheek, his touch warm and steady as he looked at you, the love in his eyes unmistakable.

For the first time, words were no longer needed. The world around you faded away as Bellamy held you close, and in that moment, you knew that whatever Earth threw at you, you’d face it together.

[lydiabellamy]

October 24

Today is the birthday of the anime man who stole my heart (in first place with Law and Bellamy) Best wishes X Drake

Happy birthday my love 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙😍🥰😍🥰😍🥰😍🥰😍🥰

[okmcintyre]

Six years later, Clarke sees a change in Bellamy and his decision-making (a change that her 'last words' undoubtedly helped to instill)

[stardancerluv]

A Time to Fight and to Love

Part Thirty - Three

Summary: Thoughts of the past and the future come together.

Notes/Warnings: angst, thoughts of one’s life, mention of one’s death.

A few translations:

Are you well, my love? - Tu vas bien, mon amour ?

Yes, my love. I only missed you is all when a nightmare had struck. - Oui mon amour. Tu ne m'as manqué que lorsqu'un cauchemar a frappé.

My love, my angel you and our child is a gift, I never thought would be given to me but they were. - Mon amour, mon ange, toi et notre enfant êtes un cadeau, je n'aurais jamais pensé qu'il me serait offert mais ils l'étaient.

❤️s, comments, feedback & reblogs are always welcome! Thank you for reading. We are beginning to near the end! 🥹

With a start, you awoke turning you looked for Enjolras for solace but he wasn’t there. His side of the bed was cold.

Perhaps, he was in his study. Pulling the blanket aside, you got out of bed. Holding up some of your chemise as to not trip, you kept to the carpet. Despite, the wooden floorboards being well kept they were too cool for your liking at this hour. They were much better than the ones you had grown used to back home with Mama. She had to be alright, she just had to be. However, those floorboards would creak with only a mere at gaze upon them and snagged all of your dresses.

The warmth from the fire that burned was what greeted you first upon opening the door.

“Tu vas bien, mon amour ?”

You glanced towards in the direction of the raspy voice, that reassured and made your heart skip beats. In front of the flickering flames, you spied the silhouette that could only ever belong to Enjolras.

“Oui mon amour. Tu ne m'as manqué que lorsqu'un cauchemar a frappé.”

“I am sorry my love.” He glanced up at you before draininy the liquid in the glass, he held. Moving the glass to his other hand, he patted a place beside him. “Come sit beside me.”

Just being near him once again and you relaxed.

Wrapping an arm around you, he held you close. You could just get a whiff of the spicy liquid he had been sipping at.

“Did sleep elude you?”

“Yes.”

As you glanced at him, he made a face. “Despite all the fretting at getting mother settled in, I still could not get ahold of sleep.”

“It will be nice to have her here.”

He rose an eyebrow as your eyes met.

“Mostly. I still cannot believe that Beatrice and her were familiar with each other. She is certainly a very determined woman.”

“She raised an equally, determined son.”

He chuckled. You loved that sound.

He drained what was left in his glass, before placing the glass on the table beside the two of you.

“Yes.” He nodded. “Yes, she did do that.”

“Enjolras, what is plaguing you?”

Hmm? He made a questioning sound as he rose his eyebrows.

You sat up the best you could with your growing tummy. At the moment, the baby seemed to be relaxed or at the very least comfortable and wasn’t moving and turning like they liked to do more often than not these days.

He didn’t look at you.

“Enjolras, look at me.”

His dark eyes moved from the flickering flames to you and once more were back fixed on the flames.

“I know that it is something other than the arrival of your mother.”

His mouth formed a line, he swallowed.

“The solider who has been hunting me has arrived. I do believe, he has taken up with one of the barmaids. And he has enjoyed some card games with her and others.”

“Oh? Oh!” Now you were the one who looked away. “What are you going to do?”

“I sent word for Bellamy to join me at the tavern, tomorrow night. And I shall go and meet my destiny.” He exhaled.

“Don’t talk like that.” Your emotions flared.

He took your hand and squeezed it.

“Mon amour, mon ange, toi et notre enfant êtes un cadeau, je n'aurais jamais pensé qu'il me serait offert mais ils l'étaient.” He pressed his lips together. “I should already be dead, I should have died at the barricade.”

“No, no! Don’t talk like that. You were given a chance to be with me, to be a father. You have to hold me a little longer, you have to hold our child.”

A tear escaped and slide down your cheek.

You trembled as his warm hand cupped your cheek, his thumb wiping away the tear.

“I, I…”

Any words, any other sentiment you could have shared were silenced as his lips met yours.

@henry-cavs-tudor @corrodedcoffn @dealswiththedevilsblog @randomstory56 @pl1nfa1 @phantomxoxo @ladybug0095 @the-iridescent-phoenix @maryan028 @kindablackenedsuperhero @amethyst-serenade @moondev1l @samunson83 @julieteagk @little-wormwood @wafflepixie @shadyhamiltonfanatic @gretavankleep37 @peacefroggg23 @capailluiscedove

[itsonlybaby]

𐙚ᣟ݂﹒𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 - 𝐛. 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞﹒

◜♡﹒﹒𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭﹒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭﹒𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

playlist !

Bellamy Blake - Arkadia

꒰ ୨୧ ꒱ ⸝⸝ you're a coder, but what's a coder without something to code? bellamy had instructed you to keep watch of the guns and ammo instead of going out with the guard on a hunt. you feel useless to the people of arkadia, maybe bellamy could help with that. ﹒ 　 ⊹ 　⤷ cw: cursing, small kiss scene, sfw

"I shouldn't be watching the guns, Bellamy!"

I shout from inside the main room where we kept the rovers. Bellamy had ordered me to stay in Arkadia while the rest of them went on a hunt, rations had grown scarce since Kane ordered the guard to go out less with the threat of grounders. This was a rare time when people got to go beyond the gate.

"We don't need a lot of people for this, okay? So just stay here." Bellamy argued back, it made sense, only a few people were going with him. Clarke, Murphy, Miller, Harper, and another from the guard. I never got around to knowing everyone's names.

I just knew I felt trapped being behind these walls, I was starting to feel useless to the people around me as well, it's not like I could code anything to help us with the grounder attacks, all I could do was sit with Monty and try to contact other stations with radios. Which always ended up in radio silence.

I could feel my blood boiling, "Well why Harper? It's not like I can't handle a gun, swap her out with me." I hadn't known Harper was leaning on a rover near Bellamy and me.

"Gee, thanks." I heard Harper chirp up in a sarcasm-filled tone. I'd have to apologize later, she knows I didn't mean it.

Bellamy sighed and placed his hands on his hips, looking at me sternly. It was only then I got a good look at him. His curls were more defined today, for once not littered with blood and dirt, you could see his freckles more clearly as well. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't dreamt of him once or twice.

"We need Harper, she's been training with Miller and has become a good shot," Bellamy turned towards the first rover, setting his gun down in the back as Miller climbed in, Harper following after. "This isn't up for discussion." He finishes off with his back turned to me.

Clarke had come up from behind me and placed her hand on my shoulder, attempting to comfort me. "It'll be fi-"

I had cut her sentence short by jerking my shoulder away, I wasn't just mad at her, I was mad at the world. I hadn't said anything further and took one last look at Bellamy before storming off to the armory.

It had been a few days since that last encounter. The group had come back with plenty of food, a successful mission with only a few scrapes and cuts. They didn't even encounter any grounders.

Since they had come back I made no move to talk to any of them- or anyone for that matter. Only speaking to Monty when I had to, which was only once.

Bellamy had tried to speak to me, he tried to sit with me during dinner, tried to speak to me at the bar, and even tried talking to me on the radio stations. Which made a part of my heart flutter at his attempts. It almost made me forget why I was even mad at him to begin with.

I was at the computer, sitting and waiting for anything to pop up about the radios when Monty said he had plans with Jasper to help cheer him up, I made no move to stop him. What's more time alone with my thoughts? They were all of Bellamy. Replaying the few moments he'd try and talk to me in my head.

Me and Bellamy weren't as close as the rest of the group was. It isn't that he didn't try and talk to me, it's just ever since we landed I've viewed him as a player who only had one goal in life; to get into girls' pants.

It's safe to say he's been growing on me- well he was. I had been starting to miss his shitty jokes, how the light from the fire would illuminate his face in the best way, how his smile looked, how it was like he got stars in his eyes every time he laughed. I always tried to impress him, so why wouldn't he let me go?

My thoughts were cut short when I heard a pair of footsteps, which I just assumed were Montys.

"Hey, Monty." I greeted in a monotone voice, not caring to check.

"It's not Monty." I heard the other voice say, a voice I knew too well. What did he want now? I spun around in my chair, seeing how Bellamy toward over me. I simply tolled my eyes at him.

"What do you need," I said flatly

"Why're you ignoring me? Avoiding me?" He asks, care lacing his voice.

I took a moment to think about my reply, why exactly was I? He made me feel useless, I can't do anything to help Arkadia besides sit her in this fucking chair.

"Why didn't you let me go?" I countered his question with a question.

I was met with a scoff, "You're still on this? I told you it wasn't up for discussion."

"Yes, I'm still on this! I do nothing for Arkadia besides sit here and listen to a radio nobody talks into!" I shout, standing up abruptly, and walking closer to him.

Bellamy crossed his arms, unmoving. "What if something had happened to you?" He spoke, trying to remain calm.

"Then so be it! I feel useless Bellamy." My voice wavered, tears threatening to spill.

"You're everything but. At least here, you'd be safe." We were now inches apart.

"Why do you even care." Tears began crawling down my cheek, I couldn't believe I let myself get so vulnerable with him.

"Because I just do," He paused, debating if he should say what he was thinking. "And I'd never forgive myself if I let something bad happen to you."

His arms were now uncrossed and resting on my forearms, a touch that practically melted me. His words brought a deeper blush on my cheeks, my tears slowing their roll. I felt myself moving closer every second until finally, his lips were on mine.

It wasn't a kiss of lust or craving, it was a kiss of passion, a kiss that made me feel warm all over, it was a feeling I wanted to last forever. Bellamy was kissing me like I could break at any minute. His hands went up to cup my cheeks and wipe away my tears.

He had pulled away with a smile, leaving my lips feeling lost.

"I've wanted to do that since the day we landed," Bellamy admitted, a faint pink tint lining his face. Bellamy, blushing, something I never thought I'd see. A goofy smile made its way onto my face at the sight.

"Being useless doesn't seem so bad now."

◜♡﹒﹒𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭﹒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭﹒𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

[straightbaittournament]

may the best bait win! propaganda under the cut:

bellamy and clarke:

They start off as a rivals-to-lovers kind of arc, the actors are married and have a kid in addition to (allegedly) being friends with benefits in the early seasons They have multiple intense romantic moments even while they're with other people, the actors were told to play them romantically and have spoken up about it, and are now married, they once won a "sexiest moment" award despite it just being him pushing her hair back, they get married in the books, they constantly tell each other that they need each other, and call themselves "the head and the heart"

they get married in the books the actors were told to play them romantically for seven years, but in the final season, clarke KILLS bellamy because the showrunner hated his teen girl fanbase. they also had multiple almost-love confessions, and constantly said things like "i need you" and called themselves "the head and the heart"

"m/f pairs who have some kind of weird fucking thing going on that is never explicitly named platonic or romantic" "couples whose romance is teased but never confirmed as such" No matter how much the showrunner tries to deny it, it was quite obvious from the beginning that Clarke and Bellamy were supposed to end up together. But then Clexa happened, and the massive backlash to Lexa's death (understandable) pretty much killed any chance they could manifest that romance. I'm okay with that, because it allows Bellarke a complexity that most straight pairings don't have. But the chemistry, and the chemistry was strong - so strong that the actors got married!

They're canon in the books the show is based on, and their plot seemed like it would be a slow burn enemies to friends to lovers, but the producer actively made fun of fans for shipping it and ended the series with clarke killing bellamy.

janeway and chakotay:

Janeway is the Captain of a Starfleet ship lost so far from home it will take decades to reach. Chakotay is the Captain of a Maquis (rebel) ship also lost there. They decide to work together to get home and combine their crews when the Maquis ship is destroyed, and Chakotay becomes her second-in-command. Because of the seriousness of the situation, Janeway feels that she cannot afford the distraction of a romance and so they never get together. They have NO personal space and look longingly at each other quite often and one episode has them forced to abandon ship potentially forever and they live together in a little house and he builds her a bathtub because she complains about not having one and they share a romantically charged massage where he tells her a made up story about a warrior and the woman who inspired him which he openly admits is made up and actually about them. Also he holds her while she cries about their chance of going back to the ship being destroyed. In a different episode she “dies” and he cradled her body while weeping about it. They also have candlelit dinners regularly and she lent him a copy of the book her ex-fiancé gave her, and every time the show conspires to make one temporarily unaware of the other, they flirt hardcore. An episode designed to show how they wouldn’t work as a couple only makes more people ship them. Also a young version of Janeway meets older Chakotay via time travel and asks him if they’re together in the future despite her being engaged at that point. He declined to answer directly.

they have a lot of Tension thruout the series & a very deep relationship, but Janeway has someone waiting for her back home & Chakotay ends up in a romance plot with another person in the last season (that I personally felt came from out of nowhere but whatever) I rooted for them! I rooted for a str8 couple! I did not care that Janeway had someone waiting for her back home even tho I usually do! but I did not care! they deserved to fuck!

[hazashiovo]

Bellamy's sister

Octavia Blake x reader

Inspired by "Stacy's Brother" by Mad Tsai ,I just love his songs and I hope he will become a big artist some day.

Reader is whatever you want them to be.

I've been hanging out with Bellamy. Everybody thinks we're dating,

"(Name) ,can you come over here for a sec?" Bellamy's voice rose as he opened his tent up.

Cause I spent my days hanging 'round his tent,

"Yeah ,what's up?" I enter his personal tent,looking around for a few seconds. Just the two of us inside. He signs for me to move towards him, which I do quickly.

He's one of our camp leaders,one of our best fighters and he's the said 'king',

He moves closer to me , pointing at a place on the little makeshift map of the camp surroundings,his body inches away from my back,I can feel it. His breath ghosts over my neck as he leans in to explain some plan to me.

When we train together he takes off his shirt,

"C'mon ,you can do better than that." He grins smugly at me as I wipe some sweat of my face, were both sweaty, especially him. So he took his shirt off, totally not a show of. I chuckle to myself at that tought. "As if you would know ,Blake." I roll my eyes and lounge at him for an attack again,wich he easily dodges and pins me to the ground,my hands on both sides of my torso,his tighs straddling me. His face has that stupid smirk on it again. "We both know you can do much more than that." I look away from his face ,I can't just can't stand that look.

But I got a secret I must confess,

Bellamy allows me to stand up,a few jokes are said before a sudden silence looms over us. He leans in closer ,I can feel his hand on my waist...shit.

it's not his smile or the way he acts,

Our faces are mere inches away. "Bellamy i- ..I can't." I push his chest away, turning around eagerly, a feeling of guilt bubbling up in my chest. I couldn't bare to see his expression,so I just left like a coward.

He's not the reason I've been thinking 'bout love,

I'm sorry Bellamy...I really am. My eyes fall on the beautiful brunette standing by the camp fire ,even tho it's daylight we still need warmth,but the only warmth I feel is the sudden feeling in my heart and cheeks.

Every time when we hang out,I lose my cool when she's around,

"Bellamy have you seen Clarke?" His little sister enters the drop ship,her eyes falling on my frame once she notices he's not alone. Her stare makes my face warm up, a faint smile adorns her face before returning to her question.

And I don't know if this is just a crush.

Each time I get those reactions I'm contemplating my feelings, why do I feel like this? Do I really like her? What would Bellamy say?

How do I find the words to tell him...?

Octavia looks at me from across the camp,I shouldn't look her way,no ,not when Bellamy is explaining a very important plan to me...What am I supposed to do??

I'm inlove with Bellamy's sister.

I'm finally ready to accept I love her,but how am I going to tell him? It's obvious he likes me. My eyes are stuck to the sky as I think of my current situation. "Earth to (Name)? " Octavia flicks my forehead with her fingers, sending me back to reality. "Ouch,did you have to flick that hard!?" I rub my forehead, dramatizing the pain. "Want me to kiss it better? " She smiles at me ,then winks ,that smile that would send a healthy man into an hospital.i look away embarrassed at her words,I know it's a joke,but the butterflies in my stomach don't seem to get it.

Gonna spend the night at Bellamy's,

Me ,Bellamy and Octavia got stuck in an old bunker. Me and Bellamy were out on a hunting trip with a few of our guys ,but once the fog hit, Octavia found the two of us us and brought us here. Bell says we'll be stuck here for the night. Great.

Don't know why my heart's been racing,

Bellamy found a couple of blankets for us to use for now,he got the first watch,wich means me and his sister get to sleep. What I didn't know is she'd be spooning me from behind. My god ,my god ,my god! My face is probably red as a ruby,and my heart is beating like a rabbits when he's beeing chased. Does she like me? Am I getting the wrong signals? Did she just pull me in closer? Holy shit!!!

Cause the whole camp things were Gona hit the base.

"Do you know where Bellamy is? " Clarke stops in front of me. I raise a brow , surprised, she's the 3rd person to ask me about his whereabouts. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Her eyes look away,an awkward look looming on her face now. "I think everyone just assumes you're the closest to him besides Octavia," she takes a short break before continuing, "You can't blame us though, the two of you are basically inseparable." Clarke gives me a short smile ,before turning away to find Bellamy. Those words repeat themselves in my mind over and over again,are we really that close? If it's so,is it okay for me to be like this with his little sister...?

He's coming up for our training session, told he'd teach me some defense stuff,

Bellamy's been spending a lot of time training me,seems he really wants me to be stronger. I land a solid hit in his abdomen. "If you wanna do damage you gotta hit harder,lower even." He gives me a disappointed look,wich I scoff and hit again, this time with my leg,wich he catches easily.

Cause he wants to show me how to defend myself.

"Why are you so eager to hit? You have to know how to dodge, Damn it (Name)!" Bellamy seems more annoyed than usually. "We can take a break if you want to,just so you know." I rub my neck awkwardly. He runs a hand trough his dark locks before turning to me. "I just want you to be able to protect yourself, I won't allways be there." His voice sounds almost disappointed with the last statement. He looks at my face ,then at my lips before he shakes his head and leaves the training grounds.

But I got a secret I must admit,it's not his lips I want to kiss,

I giggle quietly as Octavia leads me through the green ,dark forest. She said she wants to show me something amazing,but I don't care about that,I'm just happy to be with her. We finally come to a stop. I'm ready to ask her about this right before a neon blue butterfly lands on her nose. I whiden my eyes in shock,yet the feeling is quickly replaced by admiration. "Oh my god ... How did you find this??" I almost whisper,scared I'll send the special butterfly away. O smiles,then as if on cue,the forest lights up with what seems to be thousands of butterflies,all neon blue. I didn't even notice that Octavia wasn't watching them,she had her eyes on me. I turned my gaze to her, noticing quickly how her eyes were on me already. "What,got something on my face?" I joke,hoping to ease the tension. She leans in closer, raising a hand to my cheek, cupping it softly. I feel like the time stopped,like it doesn't matter anymore,like it's just us in this world. Am I dreaming maybe? Yeah that must be it. She closes the distance between us,our lips meeting. Her soft ones on mine...this definitely feels real.

He's not the reason for the bruises 'round my neck.

Her lips trail down my neck, leaving a few kisses before her mouth returns to mine. Octavia takes the opportunity to sit in my lap,leaving kisses all over my neck and exposed collarbone.

Every time I'm sneaking out, through the back of the gate.

I step on the fallen leafs and the slightly wet ground,meeting my eyes with the smiley brunette. "What took you so long?" She lunges herself in my arms,I smile,holding her tightly. "Your brother called me in." She lets go of me, looking at me smiling. "Yeah? What'd he want?" Her hand intertwines with mine ,leading me through the forest to our usual spot. I shake my head amused at her usual behavior . "Nothin." I brush of the thoughts about Bellamy for now.

And the truth is it ain't Bellamy I undress.

I draw little circles on her belly,my head resting on her chest. Her hand loosely hangs on my back,drawing invisible shapes. We're both in our underwear,the little bunker we found while scouting being our new hanging spot when we want some alone time. " What are we doing ,O?" I sigh,not moving my position. One of my legs is over her own. "Don't think about it,not now." She kisses my forehead. We didn't even register when the bunker door opened,not until it was to late. Bellamy enters the room with his gun pointed out at us. Expecting a danger inside.

How do I find the words to tell him?

"Shit! Look away Bellamy!" Octavia almost shouts ,he tears his gaze away muttering a 'what the fuck' while me and Octavia struggle to dress ourselves. "Is this where the two of you run off to??" I ignore his words,getting pissed at my jeans zipper for not closing properly. "Fuck" I mutter anoyed,I glance over at Octavia who is already dressed. Once I'm dressed,i can't look at Bellamy,I feel like if I'd do, I would crumble to pieces.

I hooked up with Bellamy's sister.

"Care to explain what the hell is going on here?" He crosses his arms ,an angry look adorning his face,if looks can kill,I'd be so dead now. I stay quiet for a few seconds, seconds that feel like hours. "I...I don't even know what the fuck to say." I sigh dropping my head, wishing to get away from his cold , glaring eyes. "Do you know how dangerous this shit is? All alone outside the damn walls?!" He stands in front of Octavia,who doesn't look guilty,not one bit. She scoffs,anoyed. "At least when we hook up we don't do it where the whole camp hears." Her snarky reply seems to annoy Bellamy further on. His eyes then fall on me, "I was expecting so much more from you,did anything I taught you stuck in that head of yours?" Bellamy steps closer to me. I take a breath in,what am I supposed to do now??

Bellamy here's the truth, and I don't want to seem rude.

I suck a breath in," I appreciate everything you did for me,and I'm grateful,but what I do in my private life is not your business." I hold my ground, he scoffs , leaving out a sarcastic laugh. "No,it isn't. It's my business when you endenger my little sister,when you endenger yourself and our defense." He doesn't raise his voice at me,dropping his gun on the table and removing his jacket. For a second I feel like he's about to beat my ass ,but I relax once I see him slump down on the old couch. I look at Octavia,puzzled. She seems to share the same feeling.

You're not the only one on my mind...

"I'm not stupid." He starts,I sit down on the couch once I'm sure he's not going to strangle me. Octavia sits next to me, curious to what he has to say. "I'm also not blind." He looks between me and her, shaking his head amused. "We can as well wait here until the morning. It's dangerous to go out in the dark." I open my mouth to say something,yet stop myself , unable to find the right words.

I wanna be best friends ,but I don't want to pretend ,the way that I behaved is a crime.

"you...knew?" I tilt my head curious. Bellamy leaves out a small laugh. "I would be surprised if the whole camp didn't know." I look at Octavia embarrassed,yet no trace of shame lies on her face. "And you didn't say anything??" I continue on,which he just shakes his head amused. I try not to get annoyed. "I felt like shit just for feeling this way,and just now you tell me it was alright all along?!" It takes everything in my power not to strangle him, especially when he has that smile on his face.

Oh Bellamy I have to tell you,

"It was funny seeing you sweat it, each time Octavia was around. That's what you get for not coming to me straight forward. " He shrugs. "You little-" Octavia giggles, stopping me from giving a few words to her brother. I decide to calm down,happy that a big stone has been lifted off my shoulders.

I'm inlove with your little sister.

His eyes fall on me. I look at him,this time I don't feel like I'm hiding something big from him. Octavia went to sleep,leaving just me and Bellamy awake. "What are your feelings towards her?" The sudden question makes me raise my head higher.

"I'm inlove with your little sister, Bellamy."

He sighs, pleased with my answer. "Good. Take care of her for me when I'm not around." I nod eagerly. "Would die for her." He chuckles, smiling.

.

.

.

Phew ,this was long. I changed the og lyrics to match as best as I could,don't judge me okay?

[sanjiaftersex]

Pre-timeskip thoughts :

I just finished pre-timeskip and before i get into fishmen arc here are some thoughts

Favorite Strawhat : Sanji, Luffy

Favorite non-Strawhat : nefertari vivi, Bonclay

Other characters I liked : Dr Kureha (girlboss), the baratie workers, portgas d Ace (*sobs uncontrollably*), Hachi the octopus, Vivi's duck karoo, boa hancock, Rayleigh, ivankov HEEHAW,

Favourite friendships : zoro-luffy, zoro-chopper, sanji-ace (sobs uncontrollably), nami-usopp, Luffy-vivi, Luffy-bon chan

Favorite island : Little Garden, Water 7

Favorite Villains :

Captain Kuro and the kuro neko pirates were good and i liked the unique fighting style they had (siam and buchi, then jango was hilarious as hell etc)

Don krieg was the scum of earth but he made the story progress into something more serious and thrilling.

Sawtooth Arlong, the fishmen were all intimidating as hell and the whole arc was filled to the brim with excitement

The Baroque works concept was very cool with all the code names and i felt eager to find out the powers of the duos being revealed slowly. I liked Ms. Goldenweek and Ms doublefinger and would love to see more of them in the future. Finally Crocodile served well as a villain and later as an ally.

Skypiea Eneru (enel?idk) was so formidable and his power was so very unique from all the villains up till that arc, so it was very refreshing to watch. Plus the priests and their fighting style was a good introduction to haki (called as mantra) and its influence in a fight. (Strawhats' fight with satori was fun HOH HO HO).

CP9 were all parts of ruthless and annoying about their government assigned crimes but i like that Chapapa guy the most, he's cute asf and Rob Lucci turning into a tiger gave me a shock lmao. But damn rob lucci as a shipwright was some hot shit

Aokiji gave me blood pressure from how angry he makes me but him letting go off robin in water 7 and all that time ago in ohara, he has left an impression and I'm looking forward to find out more about him

Bartholomew Kuma gave me the HOLY FUCK OH SHIT OH GOD FUCK HE IS HERE AGAIN jolts but then turned out to be a nice person with mysterious lore that im eager to find out so he deserves a place here. Plus his paw paw power is cute

Perona's negative hollow power was hilarious and she's a nice cutie girl who considers zoro a boytoy like me and Luffy so that's a plus

Favourite devil fruit power so far : tori tori no mi : model phoenix (marco) i like the flight and his regeneration power

Favourite moments : Enies Lobby Sogeking shooting down the govt flag as the strawhats announce war against them, sabaody archipelago Luffy punching a celestial dragon (GOAT Luffy), marineford Luffy punching Garp (GOAT LUFFY), Luffy crying after Ace's death, Luffy punching bellamy

Favourite fights : Luffy vs kuro pirates, Luffy vs Crocodile final battle in alabasta, Sanji on the train fighting that ramen guy, zoro vs hachi, little garden final battle

a few tears may or may not have been shed : Chopper's backstory, going merry funeral, little Luffy being kidnapped :(, marineford ace-Luffy

Best arc : Arlong, Little garden, Enies Lobby, Thriller Bark (i love spooky things and tb was hilarious)

Thoughts on the Strawhats :

Luffy : I've grown to love him a lot. His innocence, childlike excitement and badbitchery have rizzed me up, your honor. Also he is a musical genius, minami no shimawa has been SOTY for decades. Plus I really love Luffy's eating moments. He looks so cute and stupid and it melts my heart so much i know a Luffy mukbang show would go SO HARD

Zoro : His backstory felt a bit lukewarm but he later made up for everything. He turned out to be so thoughtful, brave and selfless, especially, zoro's character got new dimension during water 7 saga and ofc thriller bark zoro is one for the history books.

Nami : at first she irked me a bit, but after knowing her backstory, I started loving her. She's strong, resourceful, selfless and smart.

Usopp : his quirks, especially during the G-8 filler arc after skypiea, Usopp's CONDORRRIANO still cracks me up like no other. And him getting all the protective religious gears and garlic necklace when he saw Brook, was hilarious.

Chopper : little baby, soft fuzzy and dumb as fuck but has been so so traumatized. Also Tony Tony chopper has to be the cutest name anyone has ever been given, little baby is always too hard on himself (typical capricorn) and needs to chill.

Franky : I love his dance routines, and his franky family was cool as well. I once even followed one of his routines he does after he landed in the karakuri island (it was a good hip movement after binging one piece for HOURS). Also i miss mozu and kiwi dance icons

Robin : She filled me with rage during water 7, but after her backstory, I understood her more. She's cute and her nihilistic outlook on life is hilarious

Sanji : PERFECTION. He took my heart even before baratie (I saw a person doing leg karate in one of the openings and couldn't wait to meet him). His initial backstory (the starvation and zeff) moved me,and based on that i can see how thoughtful and kind he is. I can't wait to discover more about this wonderful character in depth. His badbitchery with fullbody, His kindness with Gin and don Krieg, the unique way he fights - he had me from the very first appearance. And I can't believe he has more depth to his already beautiful complex character. look at my pretty boy

Brook : i love how polite but chaotic he is and how easily he blends in with the strawhats. And i absolutely love how open minded Luffy was with Brook, and their interactions crack me UP.

General thoughts about op :

- op keeps me on my toes with the constant new islands, the new characters, both allies and villains, being gradually introduced feels very refreshing and thrilling

- Even the Strawhats slowly joined with a fun (sometimes sad) story. The introduction with a fresh face and the development of a new friendship felt good and didn't jumble my brain with too much information at the same time

- I love the dynamics of the strawhats and how wholesome all of them are in their own ways

- The summit war wasn't as exciting as i was expecting, it felt too drawn out and the constant switch between different fight scenes and fighting parties made things feel unfinished. On that note, whitebeard and his pirates were disappointing asf

- Excited to see more of Bartholomew Kuma, shanks, crocodile, mihawk, ivankov, perona, captain kidd, Law

- Bon chan is GOAT and i better be seeing him soon

Looking forward to see what the series has in store for me <3

[cherrylng]

Muse interview - Matt Bellamy [CROSSBEAT (March 2000)]

“My most fundamental motivation for going into music was to give eternal life to human emotions.”

Muse, a trio of explosive lyricists who mix cross-cultural blood with modern sensibilities, have finally landed in Japan! Matthew Bellamy's spirituality, the heart of a band that respects Radiohead but aims to be ‘somewhere different’. Interview: Sumi Imai

“I think music is best listened to when you're alone. Because it's music that makes you connect with something beyond the material.”

Muse, who hail from Devon in south-west England, were discovered by Maverick in the US as ‘promising newcomers’ and signed independently, followed by individual record deals in five countries around the world, including the UK, Germany, France and Japan, making their debut on an international scale not seen in recent years. Now, Muse is coming to Japan! At just 21 years of age, their first album ‘Showbiz’ strikes the listener's soul raw with instinctively stirring dramatic sounds and melancholy melodies. Matthew's (vocals/guitar/keyboards and lyrics/composition) singing, which is sensitive yet expresses emotions that seem to rise from within, dark, edgy and loud guitars, and melancholic and beautiful melodies have often led to them being described as ‘the three-piece Radiohead of the new millennium’, but of course they are no mere followers. Their music has the shadowy danger and tension of Radiohead, the dynamism, drive and gloss of Mansun (for the second album) and the bare intensity of Nirvana…… They create a unique "Muse world" by weaving in exotic elements (including flamenco-style guitar!). At the age of 14, Matthew joined the band of his secondary school classmate Dominic (drums). Two years later, Chris (bass) joined the band, which became the original Muse and continues to this day. We caught up with Matthew after he had been back home for a while, amidst a packed schedule of European tour dates.

You have always liked Spanish and South American music, as well as classical and choir music. I think that this diversity of musical influences is what sets Muse apart musically from other bands. 「Yes, that's true. Since I was a kid, I grew up listening to all kinds of music, regardless of genre. When I first learnt to play guitar, it was blues and slide guitar, and I started to get into rock when I was 13 or 14. When I graduated from high school, at the age of 17, I spent about four months travelling around Europe on holiday. I wanted to learn a lot of guitar music there that I wasn't used to hearing before. I went to Greece and Italy just to listen to the different kinds of folk music from different places. It was an experience that opened my eyes to the possibilities of what I could do with the guitar. I also used to play classical music like Rachmaninoff and Chopin on the piano. So maybe I'm trying to fuse all kinds of music.」

You started your first band at the age of 12, and it all started around the same time (1991 or 1992?). Was it grunge or something like that? 「Oh, no, no (laughs), it was actually a jazz-ish band.」

Oh, really? 「I was playing the piano in a boogie-woogie or rock ‘n’ roll kind of way. Then I started playing electric guitar and joined Dom's (Dominic) band. His band was so cool at school, everyone wanted to be in it (laughs).」

Wow (laughs). I heard that they played songs by Mega City Four and Senseless Things. 「Yeah, Dom's band used to play that kind of stuff, and we used to cover other British indie bands like Ned's Atomic Dustbin and Wedding Present. I started learning those songs when I joined that band.」

I see. By the way, you said, "The only bands that really mattered in the 90s were Nirvana and Radiohead during 'The Bends' era. What made these two bands stand out was their pure vulnerability in exposing themselves and innovation". You seem to be obsessed with ‘innovation’, but if there was a ‘new sound’ that Muse could present to the current scene, what would it be? 「Well, I'm not very good at describing what I do in words (laughs). But…… When I mentioned Nirvana and Radiohead, I think I was trying to talk about the ‘guitar music’ they produced. In terms of guitar-based music and its development, from Jimi Hendrix, Elvis, the Beatles and the Who to the Sex Pistols…… I think they're important bands to put in that queue. But yeah, it's hard to talk about ourselves because we're just starting out (laughs), we've got a long way to go.」

So what do you want to create in the future? 「I want to be honest about what I feel at the time. This time I've incorporated classical piano music and organic Spanish elements, but I want to combine these atmospheres in modern rock. There are so many different kinds of music in this world. Music has a long, long history. Different countries have different music. I think it's important to keep an open mind and listen to everything, to get in touch with what's happening in the world, past and present, and to develop what you create.」

I see, I understand. By the way, when UK bands expand into the US, the usual pattern is for them to establish themselves in the UK to some extent, then play small shows in the US…… But you guys are doing a big expansion on your own with your record company in the US. Many of your favourite bands - Nirvana, Primus, Rage, Smashing Pumpkins - are from the US, but do you think success in the US is important for you guys? 「Hmm, it's a challenge for us. It's a big country and I think it takes time to become a thing. The fact that the US music scene/rock music has been so creative for the last five years or so is what I'm really interested in. I think the next couple of years are a good time to bring song-oriented music to the US scene. There's been a bit of an emphasis on heavy metal music over there for a while now. But (success in the US) has never been the most important thing for me. I'd rather be successful in my home country, the UK, than the US.」

I see. But when you went to the US, you were greeted with limousines and champagne, which is unbelievable hospitality for a new British band. 「Hahahahaha (laughs), yeah, yeah.」

When it comes to being treated so well since your debut, do you take it easy and think, "I'll just take what they give me"? Or do you always calmly tell yourself, "Don't get carried away by this. Keep your feet on the ground"? 「Yeah, I don't think we take the situation too seriously. So it's more like ‘enjoy it while you have it’. We know it's all just for the moment, it won't last. We know it's just to make a good impression on us. We know we haven't earned it yet. Anyway, we don't even know if that's what we really want to get. It's just a bit of fun. It's not like I believe life should be like that or anything.」

Hmmm… that's rather cool (laughs). By the way, what ambitions did you have when you were 16, when all three Muse members were together? 「At the time…… I was like, "We're going to be the biggest in the world" (laughs), hahaha. But that kind of thing changes as you get older.」

And now? There are bands like Manics [aka Manic Street Preachers], who made their debut with the enthusiasm of "We're going to be number one in the whole world" (laughs), and then there are bands like Elastica, who say "If we can do what we love, sell 10,000 copies of our albums, and can make a living, that's enough". 「Yeah, it's possible for those two extremes to coexist inside of you. For example, to put it in an extreme way, a part of me thinks, ‘I'm happy just to exist’. Music gives me so much joy that I enjoy just being able to spend time with it, to focus on new ideas and creating something. My main motivation for continuing with music is to keep having the opportunity to create new things and to communicate with other people through it. I think that's the most important thing. There is more than one way to maintain that situation. I think I'd be just as happy if I could just make a living or if I was the most famous person in the world.」

But when we get too big, for example, there are some things we can't control. Like the suffering that fame brings, not to mention the example of Kurt Cobain…… 「Yeah……」

Also, I don't know if you've seen this, but from the Radiohead documentary video— 「Yeah, I've seen about half of it.」

From that you can also get a sense of the kind of madness they put themselves through. Do you have any fear or preparedness for that sort of thing? 「It's easy sometimes to take your situation and everything too seriously. It's easy to get depressed and wallow in self-pity, but I think that's boring. For example, I don't think the situation in that video was actually as bad as it appears on the screen. I think they were deliberately shot to look like they were in a bad situation in order to portray the image they had at the time. I know, I've been on tour for a long time now, and it's actually not that bad, I enjoy it. I mean, I try to enjoy it as much as I can. That's what life is all about. I don't feel the need to dwell on the bad aspects of it, because it's the most enjoyable experience of my life, even though I don't like some of it. I don't think that feeling will ever change.」

One of the unique characteristics of Muse's music is that it is full of deep, intense and real emotions - in the overall sound, in your guitar and piano, and of course in the songs. 'There are many ways that people do and create music - as a means of self-expression, as a means of communication, as a therapeutic role, etc. What is the greatest significance of music for you? 「Well, I guess…… The most fundamental motivation for me towards music was to give eternal life to human emotions. I mean, the feeling that after we die, the feeling remains in the world. That's the first thing, or in other words, I believe in the existence of the soul. Sometimes people can be confused by the body. They feel frustrated by the material world. Art and music express our emotions and show us that there is more to life than material things. Music is a way of connecting with people in a different way beyond the material world.」

You mean a spiritual way? 「Yeah, I think that's probably what it is. I think art exists to express what we feel inside and to communicate with people beyond natural phenomena, if there is such a thing as spirituality. Everyone expresses themselves in different ways, but most of the songs on the first album are about my relationship with the outer material world.」

Hmmm. On a different note, there have been a lot of comparisons to Radiohead, but I was impressed by how you coolly analysed and answered, "Well, I don't mind, I've never really been a fan of Radiohead. If you think about the fact that Thom Yorke was influenced by Jeff Buckley and that our album was produced by John Leckie (who produced ‘The Bends’), it's an understandable comparison." I think there are a lot of bands who, when they're as young as you are, would be very dismissive, but you handle it well, probably because of your own respect for them. 「Yeah, it's certainly partly because of the respect for what they've achieved. And I understand the comparisons for the reasons I've just mentioned. But the comparisons don't mean that we're treated as a copycat band.」

Yes, that's right. When you said that, you also said, ‘But if you see us live, you'll see that Muse is more of a rock band’, 「Yeah, it's just that if you see us live, you can better understand what we actually sound like as a band. On the record we're more experimental, we use different instruments, we sound like a five or six-piece [band], but live it's just the three of us, and I think the emotion hits you harder. And we're definitely from a different generation (to Radiohead)…… So I think we're appealing to a different generation.」

Oh, a different generation…… So what do you actually think of 'OK Computer'? Considering the sound and structure of that album, I thought that what you said earlier meant that yours is a more straightforward and powerful rock. 「I think 'OK Computer' is a good album, I just don't listen to it too intensely. It probably didn't have the same influence on me [as 'The Bends']. Maybe it's partly because I listened to 'The Bends' at a certain time of year that it appealed to me more clearly. I think 'OK Computer' is a good album, but it doesn't resonate with me the way 'The Bends' does. I think it's probably a generational thing, an age thing.」

Oh, I see. Well, this is just my personal impression, but I feel that Radiohead's sound is largely a journey of self-exploration towards inner chaos, while Muse's sound is more outward-oriented with ‘the intention to connect with the listener’. The guitars and singing seem to speak to us. For example, in your live performances, are you conscious of the presence of the listener in that sense? 「Yes, for example, I've loved going to gigs since I was a kid, and the most exciting thing was when a singer would perform to me as if they were talking to me. I'm very conscious of people as 'individuals', not as a ‘crowd’, and I try to be conscious of that. I try to imagine that I'm part of the audience, and I try to put myself in their shoes. I think music, especially albums, are best listened to when you are alone. Because music makes you feel you are not alone and connects you to something beyond the material. I don't think Muse's music is appropriate to play when you're all gathered at a friend's house having a drink and having a good time. I don't think it's the right music for that kind of background music. I think it's more the kind of music that you can listen to when you're alone and feel something different…… I mean, I hope so (laughs).」

Translator's Note: The earliest Muse interviews that can be found in Crossbeat and Rockin'On were all released on their March 2000 issues, with INROCK only releasing theirs on April 2000. But out of three, I think Crossbeat has the best early interview by far, thanks to how good of a journalist Sumi Imai is. Their interviews just reveals Matt and his bandmates in a way that most other western music magazines and newspapers don't.

Or it's just because Japanese interviews tend to reveal the conversation of questions and answers as it was recorded back then, so there's no backfilling of sorts at all.

[klikandtuna]

Me and @azirafellfirst are going to be in London soon and plan to visit some of the locations from Every Damn Day and Sky Clear Blue.

There are two St. Anne's Churchyards in London. One in Soho and one in Limehouse. I think it should be the one in Soho, but I would like to be sure.

We didn't find an Eden's Gate cemetery. Is this one imaginary or is there a real cemetery that served as inspiration?

Are there any other real life locations from your stories that might be worth a visit?

PS: We found the Great Northern and we will search it for a piano.

Ohhhhh my Bentley this is like the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard 🥰🥰🥰

St Anne’s churchyard, where Enoch and Samantha Fell are buried, is indeed the one in Soho — Wardour St, if I recall. Eden’s Gate Presbyterian Church is completely fabricated, I’m sorry to say, BUT Eaton Place, where Azekiel grew up, and which he and Crowley visit during the course of the story, is very real! I don’t know if there’s a 165 specifically…and NOT ONE PERSON has yet called me out on this, which is a little sad, but 165 Eaton Place is the address of the Bellamy family in Upstairs, Downstairs, one of my favorite shows; I lifted not only the address, but the entire layout of the townhouse, from that 😁

The Great Northern Hotel is the perfect EDD location to visit, though I cannot vouch for the presence of a piano 😆 We’ll be seeing it again in the upcoming crossover fic, too, which is fun!

Have a wonderful trip, and send me photos! The fact that you’re thinking ahead of visiting places from my stories just makes my heart sing. I hope you have the best possible time in London 💛💛💛