#heard someone say this is a mod...SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT MOD THIS IS. it's a need god please

[cliji]

no surgeon can separate me from them idk

[bonkwosher]

OMGOMGOMG… i saw your dan stevens character x reader post and i’m literally the happiest person alive over how accurate they are 😭😭💖💖 if you don’t mind me requesting (holding back sending so many requests in the future): how would frank/trapper/david react to a partner with stuffed animals/plushies? (as somebody who has a bunch of sanrio ones and kinda gets clowned on by some family members for it 😭) 🥺 + maybe what stuffed animals they’d give to their partner as a gift? THIS ONES SO SPECIFIC BUT 😭💖

A/N: I'm so incredibly glad someone enjoyed my headcanons that much. Also, please send me a million requests it would make me so happy (no pressure). Also Also, I loved reading your reaction through hashtags in your reblog lol

Pairing(s): Travis "Trapper" Beasley x GN!Reader, Adam "Frank" Barnett x GN!Reader (Separate), David Collins x GN!Reader (Separate)

Contains: The boys reacting to the reader having stuffed animals, the boys giving you stuffed animals, sex mentioned with Frank but barely, Frank being a dork, Trapper being a sweetheart, David being a good listener

Frank:

I have a feeling Frank might be a little weirded out, for lack of a better word, at first, especially if there are a lot of them. If you've got a couple he'll be fine with it but if there's a bunch he'll just be a little confused as to why they're important at first. Like this man can't grasp why you have an attachment to them.

As you spend more time together he'll pretty easily get used to them. If they have names he will only refer to them by name, he won't call them stuffed animals, plushies, stuffies, etc. He becomes like the dad that didn't want a pet, then cut to the dad absolutely loving the pet but never admitting it.

Like you two go to sit on the couch together to watch a movie & you left a stuffie on the couch & he fully treats it like a human. Like he nods at the little guy & goes "Gerald," in greeting before scooting the plushie to the side of the couch.

If you store a bunch of them on your bed, he definitely refers to them as "the fellas" regardless of their genders if they have any. Like he'll climb into your bed getting ready to cuddle you & acknowledges them saying, "What's up fellas?" Mainly because it makes you laugh.

He definitely does not like them facing you two when you're having sex or making out. He will turn them to face the wall one by one if he has to.

After finding out that you like plushies so much I think Frank would be the kind of guy to buy you one before he goes on long heists. He did it once & that made you smile so he kept doing it. The first time he brought you a little one, a white cat with yellow spots.

"You know, I'll be on a business trip the next couple days & I thought this one looked like me so I thought it would be a good idea. Now you don't have to miss me or whatever."

You definitely agreed that it looked like him. The little cat had a scowl & everything.

Trapper:

Trapper probably has an old stuffed animal from his childhood that's being held together by many different stitches & still sits on his bed to this day. So when you tell him you have stuffed animals he's not even phased, actually, he shows interest in them.

He wants to know their names, & if they don't have names he wants to name them.

There was a time when you & Trapper had gotten into an argument & he gave you some time to cool down & he stayed in the bedroom. The door was left ajar & you heard some quiet talking. After getting the right angle you manage to catch the man talking to your pile of stuffed animals that lived in the corner of the bed about how sorry he was & how he didn't mean to upset you.

As you watch your hand accidentally knocks the door a little causing it to squeak on its hinges. Trapper immediately turns to you, his face flushing when he realizes you were there. "I'm sorry, your stuffed animals are just really good listeners."

If any of your stuffies get ripped or you find a hole in one you better believe he goes full vet mode. He's had to do stitches before so sewing is nothing. He will play hard into the vet thing to make you laugh, especially if your stuffed animal getting ripped is a big deal for you. He'll whip out a stethoscope, wrap the limb that got ripped in some paw print bandages, etc. He also loves any praise about him being good at his job so please give him some.

I feel like Trapper's stuffie gifts would come with a story. Like the day he took out King Kong's tooth he probably got you a King Kong stuffie & told you all about it. Now next to whatever stuffed animals you have you have all the titans of the world (at least the ones he's worked on) in plushie form.

David:

David, like Frank, will probably have a little bit of a tough time gathering what makes them so special to you but he would probably just straight up ask you. David loves listening to you talk about just about anything, especially when it's something you care about. So when you tell them why they mean so much to you, it only brings him joy.

I imagine before you were even partners & he was heading off to the army (He would not have left if he had the guts to ask you out), you gave him a small stuffed animal to remember you by. As he was getting ready to go & everyone got a little teary-eyed, he swore to you that he would keep that little stuffie until he saw you again. That little guy survived a war & when David returned, you best bet that little guy was alive & well in his backpack. He stays with him in that big ass green backpack to this day.

Whenever you're away on business or don't get home till late, you'll arrive home to see David cuddling one of your stuffies to help him sleep. He claims it has the slightest smell of your perfume/cologne/etc & it reminds him of you.

If the collection grows past space on your bed for all the stuffies, David will build you a shelf for them. You won't even ask him to. He'll just see that you have space in your room for a shelf, you'll off-handedly mention you're running out of space on your bed for the stuffies, then he'll put two & two together & build you that thing. An added bonus, he'll probably be in a tank top or some shirt that shows off his arms on the hot summer day he decides to build it. Maybe even shirtless.

I feel like David wouldn't get you any specific stuffed animals. He would just wait for you to mention the ones you want, literally run across town to get it for you, then run back & it appears in your flock of stuffed animals the next day.

[voidendron]

last night's Lethal Company shenanigans:

we used the bigger lobby mod so we had a group of seven

which is

chaotic, to say the least

so, we started off from Gham's last save when it was just the two of us playing last. so it was our..... third? quota margin, iirc. still a pretty small quota to reach, and with seven of us we figured it would be easy!

....yeah. no.

starting off, I went in with the group. everyone else went main entrance, I went with Stone to the fire escape. we were Immediately met by steam, so we're stumbling around trying to find the valve to turn it off

suddenly turns black for me, takes a sec for me to realize a snare flee got me since I couldn't see the ceiling

so I'm telling Stone he should leave, there's a facehugger, forgetting that you get Super Muffled when one attacks you

so he panics, and jumps to his death around the same time that the flea kills me 😂

me, in dead player chat: ....this is why I'm the Ship Guy™️ I always die when I come in 😑

Stone: *starts laughing*

some other shenanigans, in no particular order:

-Stone mishearing someone say "Muffin Man" in the distance, when it was actually "muffin tin" and he went around trying to find the group to join in on the meme. he finds them, starts walking up "did somebody say, THE MUFFIN MAN????" as they're talking about watching out for a mine ....then immediately steps on said landmine.

I was in the ship, monitor focused on Gham (the one he initially misheard), I see him walk up on the display, then his body just got YEETED across the room.

apparently Gham was bemoaning about dragging the body back to the ship, turned around, and it was gone because I teleported it back ajksld;jd

-----------

-a group of four, walking in and realizing the only non-dead end was a jump blocked by a landmine. me, over walkie to whoever had one: "I can only disable mines for a really short time, gotta be quick when I disable it"

Stone didn't have a walkie

....which resulted in the following

transcript (PoV: Stone): Drohne: There's a landmine Traven: There's a mine *overlapping, but all talking about the mine in the way* Gham: This is the only way, and there's a fucking landmine. Drohne: All right, Stone, you know what to do. Stone: Guys, don't worry. I'm an expert with these kinda things! *Stone immediately sets off the mind and is put in the dead player chat. with Gham and Traven, who he just murdered, all three are laughing. he goes into spectator mode on me, at the ship console* Gham: STONE! Traven: You all SUCK! Gham: STONE! Stone: Did I kill you guys, too?! Gham: Yes! *laughing as they talk* Gham: STONE! You better have recorded that one, too! FUCK! Oh my god! Drohne, over walkie: This thing work? Hello? me: Yeah, I can hear you, now. Drohne: Yeah, they all b- they all blew up. me: All three of them???? Drohne: Yes! me: Oh my god. ok- *video cuts off*

------------------

-we bought one of those horns that can be heard throughout the whole map.

me: since not everyone has a walkie, I'll use this if it starts getting late, ok?

the rest of the group promptly forgot we had it.

I ran to the entrance to cart some scrap back to the ship, I got back around 7pm or so. glanced at the monitor and saw everyone just kinda congregating in a room, probably chatting together

I pulled the cord on the horn

and they just fucking SCATTER running for the entrance 😂

when they got back, they said that the horn really creepily echoes through the halls, and they forgot what it meant but that they just wanted OUT when they heard it

everyone but Drohne (who got eaten by a worm on the way back) made it to the ship before midnight

----------------

-so. it's just kinda become My Thing™️ to grab beehives while everyone else is in the facility collecting scrap. they're dangerous to grab, but worth A Lot, so worth the risk. I put the hives on the walkway outside the ship so we don't get attacked trying to get in/out of the ship but it's still in easy access, then when we take off either Gham or me will run out to grab it before the door closes

I usually just solo the hives, get stung a big but whatever, I'm Ship Guy anyway

Stone and Winter decided to grab two hives that no one else had seen yet

....and put them INSIDE THE SHIP

entire group ends up dying in our attempts to get in there and take off, we lost All Of Our Scrap at a 700+ quota on the last day 😂😭

when we restarted, no one else even TOUCHED the hives and left them to me to deal with jakls;ajkld

-----------

-after our restart, we all went into the facility since I'm not much use on the console without a walkie or other tools to communicate

ended up turning out there were A BUNCH of turrets in the map for some reason

our first view of that:

Stone: Oh my god, there's TWO TURRETS IN HERE!! *shit ton of gunfire goes off as he runs for his life out of the room*

we're exploring deeper into the facility, run across Yet Another Turret. I mention going back to the ship to disable them because there's just Too Many To Deal With. the turret went off, I ran around a corner when it went off

...it still killed me >:(

went into spectator mode on Gham, who's picking up my body

first thing I hear:

Gham: Uhhh Oliver's dead let's cut our losses and leave

[fabricated-misslieness]

♡〜 I’d like to request a corpse husband x m reader fic where they playfully flirt in a few conversations or games and corpse accidentally outs reader as his bf. Or just corpse being cute and flirty :) I'd be happy with anything! Thank you <3- corpse anon〜♡

Corpse Husband x male reader

Alright I don’t watch among us gameplay anymore cause I got addicted to genshin so I barely know anything about the mods they use (proximity chat excluded). Bear with me. 

Requested: Yes

Word Count: 1055

Corpse killed someone in specimen, hoping that nobody would walk in on him in the act. Unfortunately - or fortunately - for him, you walked in.

You walked in and paused in shock.

“Walk away, walk away, walk away.” Corpse repeated, coaxing you to run away with him towards the direction you’d come from. As you sat in decontamination, he made a deal with you. “10 kisses and you saw nothing.”

“Hmm, I dunno.” You pretended to think. “I think I get to play with your hair and kiss you 20 times.”

“You’re pushing it. Don’t let me mark you with the kiss of death.”

The doors to decontam opened, revealing Toast and Poki. “What was that about a kiss of death, Corpse?” Toast asked.

“Uhhhhh…”

“Now’s your chance to make a deal, Corpse.” You whispered, even though the other two could still hear you.

“You get to play with my hair and 20 kisses. Now SCATTER!” On cue, the both of you leave in different directions.

That same game, it was down to 4 people. One of them was the impostor, and you knew damn well who it was. The thing is, you’d made a deal. Corpse would deprive you of affection if you broke it. But… how satisfying would it be to break it?

“Hmm, Corpse feels a bit sus.” You let out a laugh.

“And why is that, (y/n)?” Toast saw the whole deal earlier, so he played along. He knew that Corpse was impostor from the situation - and finding a corpse in specimen - but he loved content.

“Well,” You dragged the e out for suspense. “Corpse actually-”

“Don’t you dare, (y/n).” Corpse finally spoke up. “If you say anything, that deal of ours is broken.”

“We both know you can’t resist affection for that long.” He knew you were right, but his pride would not let him admit it. “So what I’m suggesting-”

“You’re suggesting I sweeten the deal.” He sighed in defeat. “I knew it. What are your conditions now?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.” Meeting time was close to running out. He had to make a deal that you liked before it was over, or he could simply kill you. That sounded much more fun.

“I- uh… um.”

“Time’s ticking, Corpse.”

As the meeting came to an end, you cackled. You were about to expose Corpse out loud when you remembered the lights were off.

This was his plan all along.

He was coming to kill you.

“Corpse is the-” And you saw the familiar animation of being killed.

Corpse was ultimately voted out. It was quite obvious he was impostor now, and the crewmates were thirsty for a win.

“Hey, Corpse, I’m done with tasks!” It was a different match now, both of you were crewmates and both of you were done with tasks. You’d, out of coincidence, met up in cafeteria.

“Yeah, me too.” Corpse laughed at a playful idea he just came up with. “Wanna make out in a corner?”

“Ooh,” You laughed, “lead the way~”

The both of you moved to a corner of cafeteria, where hopefully nobody could see you. Kissy noises were picked up by both of your mics, though your fans didn’t know if they were real or not. However, they did sound all too believable. It was quite a curse that today you’d spontaneously decided not to use a facecam.

It wasn’t long before Jack found the both of you. Why he went to upper cafeteria, you didn’t know. He gasped, “You guys are making out without me?”

“Believe it or not Jack, you’re not the only guy in my love life.” Since the arrival of Jack, your fans have heard the shuffling of clothes. They wondered if you were really kissing.

“Damnit, Corpse.” Jack sighed, turning away from the both of you for a moment. “Hey, wanna become a throuple?”

Corpse watched as you killed people. He was a ghost, killed by your partner.

You lured Sykkuno to specimen, where the two of you had a little talk. You’d been marinating him for the whole match and now was finally the moment where you got to kill him.

“So, Sykkuno. You saw me kill Rae and didn’t say anything. How kind of you.”

“Y-Yes.” He sounded nervous, as he should while being alone in an isolated area of the map with a confirmed impostor.

“Now, usually I would repay you for it by not killing you. Buuut…”

“Yes..?”

“My partner and I are both sus at the moment. We need as many people dead as possible. You understand that, right?”

Sykkuno did a nervous shuffle, “Yea..”

“Trust me, Sykkuno. I did not want to do this.” And with that, you killed him. You ran away from specimen, laughing to yourself.

Corpse laughs, “I love (y/n).” He sighs dreamily. “He’s just so cute.”

He glances at his own chat, which spams ‘Is (y/n) your bf?’

“Yeah, he’s my partner; my love.” He pauses, just realizing that he’d outed the both of you. “Oh, oh no.”

On your stream, the chat was spamming the same thing. They had been since the start of the stream, though now you were curious as to why they spammed: ‘YES’, ‘I KNEW IT’ and pog. Somebody highlighted their message, tagging you in it for extra measure. It read, ‘Corpse just admitted you two are dating.’

“Huh.” You weren’t all that surprised. Either way, being out to the internet wasn’t the worst thing ever. Your fans loved you both, but more than that, they loved your ship. “Yeah, Corpse is my boyfriend.”

“You didn’t have to expose us like that.” You teased.

Corpse shrugs, “Did it matter? They liked it.”

“Yeah, yeah I know. Just teasing.” After streaming is usually relaxation time, though you’d taken it for movie time instead.

Corpse sat - with the worst posture, though posture doesn’t equal comfort - between your legs, leaning so weirdly that his head lay on your shoulder.

He ultimately couldn’t resist your affection. Your hands played around with his curls, massaging his scalp every once in a while.

Suddenly, Corpse turns to you and away from the movie. He kisses you, though it’s all to brisk for you. “Let’s get to these 20 kisses, shall we?”

“I thought I broke the deal.”

“Consider it renewed.”

[despairingly-hopeful-imagines]

hey! might be weirdly specific but could i get kazuichi and a reader he has a crush on in the killing game together, and one night the reader asks to spend the night in his cottage because she's feeling really anxious?

i knOW I SAID I WOULDN’T WRITE FOR KAZUICHI BUT LIKE. i saw this request in our inbox and my brain went haywire. kazuichi is now off of my hit list.... for now.

*rolls up sleeves* this is my first writing post on this blog, so i certainly hope you enjoy, my dear, and don’t be too worried about being specific! narrowing down prompts like that helps a lot!

spoilers for sdr2 up ahead uwu ‎‎

— mod sakura.

‎‎ When Kazuichi first laid eyes on you when you entered the classroom, he swore with all his heart that he has seen you before. It was a weird feeling of déjà vu that he couldn’t quite place his finger on no matter how hard he tried (and boy did he try), and it wasn’t until you approached him to politely ask him to stop staring at you that he realized he had been looking a little too long at you.

“S-Sorry,” he had stammered, face aflame as he scratched the back of his neck, but you had only chuckled, brushing it off.

“It’s okay. I always seem to have that effect on people.” You had replied earnestly with a swat of your hand.

Kazuichi had raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean by that?”

The corners of your eyes crinkled when you smiled as you gave your reply. “For some odd reason, people seem to think I’m some sort of otherworldly alien, so they stare a lot. But I promise you that I’m perfectly ordinary.”

But Kazuichi didn’t seem to believe that you were as ordinary as you said you were (Ultimate students weren’t ordinary to begin with, and you fell under that umbrella), especially in the days that followed your introduction. You two would hang out and talk more, and every time Kazuichi looked into your eyes, he would be met with something familiar yet so obscure, which only added onto your oddness. You had stopped reprimanding him for staring for too long, as by now it felt relatively normal.

Then the first murder happened.

While you had not been too much of a fan of Byakuya’s attitude, you did appreciate the effort he put through to protect every one of you, even if it eventually led to his downfall. When the lights came back on and Byakuya was deemed missing, you immediately grew paranoid. It was just the day before when Monokuma appeared and decided that you all would be killing each other, and every minute that passed since then only caused your worry to grow and grow. Had somebody killed Byakuya?! You immediately thought the worst, and it was confirmed when Akane sniffed out blood coming from under one of the cabin’s tables. Hajime had lifted the tablecloth and... You nearly gagged. Byakuya’s body was laying there in a puddle of his own blood.

You refused to look in the body’s direction; You had never been good at handling death properly, and you felt lightheaded, your vision swaying somewhat. You placed your hand on the wall and took a deep breath.

“Th-This... It’s impossible...!” You heard Kazuichi say, panic obvious in his tone of voice. “Don’t mess with me! This must be some sort of mistake!”

You blinked slowly, inhaling and exhaling deeply once again.

Someone called your name and you tilted your head to the side. It was Sonia, and she was giving you a concerned look. She repeated your name again, followed by a, “Are you alright? Do you need to sit down?”

When she spoke, Kazuichi’s head immediately turned in your direction. “What?!” Disregarding the body for the moment, Kazuichi made his way towards you and placed a hand on your arm (albeit hesitantly. He didn’t want to make things worse for you.). He said your name in a frenzied fashion, “Are you okay?! You’re pale as hell!” You looked him right in eyes, lips parting, and then your legs gave out beneath you. Kazuichi was quick to catch you before you hit the ground and, while this wasn’t exactly the right time for it, blushed fervently at your close proximity. His heart was beating so fast, and he panicked at what he should be doing.

His head raised and he looked around. Isn’t Mikan the Ultimate Nurse? He thought to himself as he eyed his classmate. “M-Mikan!” He shouted, catching the female’s attention. “Can you come over here?”

Mikan nervously made her way over, hands fidgeting. “Y-Yes...?”

It was like she didn’t even see you just lying there in his arms! He mentioned your name and looked down at you, adjusting his position. “You’re the Ultimate Nurse, right? Help her, please! She just dropped!” He moved your body so that Mikan could examine you. The mechanic’s arms shook as she placed the back of her hand against your forehead, and after a few moments, she pulled away.

��U-Um, there’s nothing to be worried about...! She’s... She’s just f-fainted, most likely from seeing B-Byakuya’s body...” The girl glanced at Kazuichi’s face and quickly added, “It’s n-nothing serious I swear! I’m s-sorry for not doing enough...!”

“H-Hey, hey! There’s no reason to be like that.” Kazuichi huffed, but he was relieved to see that you were alright. There was no telling when you’d wake up, so for now, he would wait.

‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

You had been forcibly woken up before the trial by Monokuma, but the trial itself  was a blur for you. You really didn’t know much about the entire situation— aside from the fact that... That someone had... died... —, unlike Hajime, so you couldn’t really contribute, which was fine with you. The fact that you fainted ruled out any possibility of you committing the murder, because if you could barely handle viewing the body, then how could you have done it in the first place?

You felt uneasy throughout the entirety of the trial. Your podium area was situated to Akane’s left, and you gripped the wood of the stand so hard that your knuckles turned white. You caught Kazuichi sending you several concerned glances from across the circle, but they were ignored. Nagito’s spiel about hope and whatnot did nothing to calm your nerves, and after Teruteru was executed, you left Monokuma Rock feeling jittery and lightheaded.

Kazuichi was right beside you the entire elevator ride up, and he was here with you now even though everybody was already heading back to their respective cabins. He was comforting; You had never thought that you would be able to warm up to a stranger so easily, but you had, and you didn’t regret it in the slightest. He was just what you needed in this time of despair.

“Let’s head back.” You said once you were fully collected. Kazuichi still looked worried, though.

“A-Are you sure you’re alright?” He questioned before quickly continuing. “Can you walk alright? Do you need me to carry you?” His hands were shaking, but you didn’t know if it was because of leftover nerves from what had just transpired or from excitement towards the prospect of carrying you.

“I think I’ll be okay.” Physically, but not emotionally or mentally, that’s for sure. You patted the pink-haired boy on the shoulder and smiled at him, which in turn caused his face to erupt into rosy hues. “But thank you for offering.”

“Of course! Anything... Anything for you.”

You’re smile softened a little, and you only nodded, not quite knowing how to respond to a statement like that. You started moving forward and gestured for the lanky male to follow you.

However, each and every step towards the miniature resort only increased the feelings of dread that were harboring in your stomach. A murder had happened nearly a day after Monokuma appeared, so how would you know when the next one was going to happen? You didn’t think Teruteru would kill anyone, nor did you even consider the possibility of Nagito committing a murder (But now that seemed entirely possible, given his psychotic awakening that occurred not too long ago), but the trial you just returned from only proved you wrong. It didn’t matter how nice or how cruel someone was because they still were capable of ending another’s life.

You glanced at Kazuichi out of the corner of your eye as the two of you crossed the bridge that connected the two islands together. What if... You thought nervously. What if Kazuichi’s planning to kill me? Your hands shook at your sides. No, he couldn’t possibly be planning to murder you. You two had become friends before the Killing Game ensued, and Kazuichi was always upfront and honest with you, so you figured that he was bad at lying. If he was going to kill you then it would’ve been obvious from the start. You exhaled slowly. You were certain that you could trust Kazuichi.

But you didn’t know if you could trust anyone else.

You and the mechanic soon approached the wooden platforms where the cottages were, and when you realized that this would be where you two part ways for the night, you began to panic.

“Well, good night!” Kazuichi said to you, but before he could completely turn away, you grabbed his arm. He looked back at you, perplexed. “Do you need anythin’ else?”

“Can I...” Your mouth seemed to be moving faster than your brain. “Can I stay with you in your cottage for tonight?”

“W-What?!” Now he was panicking, but for a reason that was much different than yours.

“I’m scared.” You explained quickly, impulsively. “I don’t want to die.”

Kazuichi’s heart was beating a million miles per minute. If the others found out he spent the night alone with a girl, they’d surely freak out and call him a pervert, but you looked so desperate right there in front of him. He wasn’t a knight in shining armor, but he could certainly try to be one for you in this very moment.

Shoulders still tense from nerves, Kazuichi exhaled. “O-Of course! You can stay with me for as long as you’d like!”

“Thank you.” And you were truly grateful.

Kazuichi began to lead you over to where his cottage was, but all you could think about was how warm you felt in that very moment. Maybe... 

Maybe this is what safety feels like.

[denkimystery]

Denki Mystery Series - 1st Episode: 『Six Men Getting Sick』

ー Midorito House, Eve of the Jyushimatsu Festival

A Voice: ... Come to think of it, the owner of my cab company… I wonder if he’s one of those people who's into the occult?

Ozo: I only come to the office sometimes. And whenever I’m there that’s all we talk about.

Ozo: Like, strange stories of this area? I’ve heard a lot about that too. I've heard it all from that person.

Takashi: Ah! I know who you’re talking about. He came to my store, too. He kept chattering on and on about how I should get out of this place before I am unable to leave, and then he just left.

Hajime: Wow. Is that person a local from here?

Ozo: No, it's nothing like that. I heard that he came here a long time ago, and then he was given the job and entrusted with the company. You're very curious, aren't you.

Karatsugu: I wonder what he was doing before that. He’s not from around here, but he knows a lot about it, right? The stories of this place, I mean.

Ozo: Come to think of it, people wouldn't talk so openly about that kind of stuff if they were from here. I wouldn't ask or deny it, though.

Ozo: He said I drive too rough, so he started calling me “Cowboy”.

Toshio: You sound like a villainous pro wrestler. It’s kinda cool.

Ozo: Right? But I'm not that buff! … Phew, that was a nice time. It's been about half an hour since we got back from the factory?

Ozo pops open a beer. The sound of the fizz is replaced by the sounds of him gulping his drink.

Chorosuke: It’s a bit late, but we've prepared a midnight snack.

Ozo: Whaaat, I didn't think the Master was here, but he cooked for me? That's very kind of you.

Takashi: Let me help, Chorosuke-san.

[[Takashi gets up to help Chorosuke set the food down.]]

Takashi: Wah, this looks so good.

Ozo: Ahhh! I'm so hungry!! … Ah, can you let me borrow your phone before we start?

Chorosuke: Sure, be my guest. … Dayoko, escort him please.

[[Ozo follows Dayoko out of the room.]]

Toshio: You have some for me too? Wah... It's mushroom soup! Looks good.

Chorosuke: Everyone, you must be hungry. After you eat, let's rest for today. We still have tomorrow.

[[Ozo comes back to the room.]]

Ozo: Thanks for letting me call. It was the president. I told him I was sick.

Ozo: Since we have a private gathering tomorrow, I told him I was gonna stay up and he replied with a resounding OK. Heheh!

Ozo: If it had been the old lady in the office, she would have told me to go home for sure!

Takashi: That’s the normal reaction. I think you're being underestimated by your president.

Karatsugu: Well, let's eat before it gets cold. Thanks for the food.

Toshio: Thanks for the fooood!

[[Toshio shoves a spoonful into his mouth, chewing eagerly. Everyone else follows suit.]]

Hajime: These mushrooms are delicious.

Chorosuke: These are the mushrooms that my student grew. He often gives me some, they are very fragrant and delicious.

Toshio: Are there other ways to eat it other than miso soup?

Chorosuke: You can also roast it, it’d still be delicious.

「Thank you for the meal.」 Everyone says when they’re finished.

Chorosuke: Did you all like it? Then, let's brew some tea. ... Dayoko, your big bwother*** will also help.

[[Chorosuke leaves the room.]]

Takashi: … Huh?

[[Takashi’s gaze is pointed down. Staring at something.]]

Takashi: ……. Jyushimatsu-niisan, why are you buried in the ground. Heyyy… Ah, another Jyushimatsu-niisan.

[[Hajime looks at where Takashi was looking at. There’s nothing but the floor.]]

Hajime: Ta-Takashi-kun? What’s wrong? … Are you ok!?

[[Meanwhile.]]

Ozo: … Hm? When did I get back to the car?

[[Ozo notices he’s not alone, looking into his rearview mirror he sees someone on the passenger’s seat.]]

Ozo: Customer-san, why are you wearing a paper bag?

Ozo: … Hie! [Ozo flinches as the customer removes his paper bag.]

Ozo: … You look just like me…!?

[[Toshio seems to be struggling.]]

Toshio: Uwah! What’s this thing in front of me! ... A big dog!

Chorosuke: Dayoko! I won’t hand Dayoko over to you!! Dayoko!? Where-? Dayoko?

Karatsugu: ... huh. I feel like my back is…

[[Karatsugu focuses on the feeling in his back before realizing that it’s sharp and he’s in deep pain.]]

Karatsugu: … W-Waaah!! I-I’ve been stabbed! I’m dead! I’m cuuursed!

Hajime: Eh... Where am I?

[[Hajime looks around.]]

Hajime: It’s pitch black.

Hajime: H-HIEEEEEEE!!! [[All of a sudden Hajime screams. Thrashing and flinging.]]

Hajime: H-Help meeee!!! SOMEBODY, HELP ME!

Takashi: Waaaaaah…!! … Huh. What was that?

Ozo: Wah! What the-? A-are these mushrooms safe to eat!? I just had a scary dream!****

Chorosuke: Huh? What’s the matter? Nothing happened to me, I’m fine. Here, have some tea.

[[Chorosuke starts pouring tea.]]

Toshio: I'm fine too.

[[Toshio starts munching on some of the snacks Chorosuke offered with the tea.]]

Toshio: Delicious! Where did you get these snacks?

Ozo: Eh ~ !? You're always eating them, so you've built up a tolerance? I don't remember it clearly, but I was really scared!

Toshio: Aah! Are you okay, Karamatsu-niisan? The corner of the desk is digging into your back.

Karatsugu: Eh!? The corner of the table? … Ah, thank goodness. I thought I was stabbed in the back…

Hajime: Haa~. [[Hajime releases a sigh he’s been holding.]]

Hajime: …. What was that. Just now. I’m not immune to these mushrooms… What did I just see…? Th-That was scary.

Toshio: Aaaa, that was delicious. … Well, I’m going home now. I’ll see you all tomorrow. My big brothers and Todomatsu!

Takashi: I'm getting a little used to it. That “Todomatsu”. Jyushimatsu-niisan.

Ozo: You live on the other side of the mountain, right? Why don't you just stay the night? Or, do you want me to drive you home?

Toshio: The roads are dangerous at night. I can take a shortcut.

[[Toshio stands up quickly in one fell swoop.]]

Toshio: Nanna is waiting for me.

Chorosuke: Here you go. Didn’t something break just earlier?

Toshio: Thank you, Choroma- Chorosuke-san. Todomatsu, my bigger brothers. Good night!

Thump, thump... Rustle, rustle, rustle. [[Toshio takes off running, his footsteps landing heavy on the dirt path. Soon after he runs through the bushes and into the forest.]]

Takashi: Ah…! He jumped into the bushes. I-I hope he’s ok.

Chorosuke: Ogami’s fine. Oh, and he’s always running around in the mountains.

[[Dayoko walks in to tell Chorosuke something.]]

Chorosuke: Hm, what. … Aah. Thank you, Dayoko. Everyone. The bath is ready. Please, help yourselves.

Ozo: Ah~, I'm going to catch my breath ‘cause my eyes are getting tired*****!

Chorosuke: Eh!?

Ozo: If we're going to talk about scary stories, how about we tell a “Hundred Stories” while drinking?

Chorosuke: Can you stop doing that I don’t want to get in trouble if something weird happens!?

ーThe Endー

Original Event

Summer Arc: 1 | 2 | 3

Mod Note: This came from the Stories that came with the Akatsuka Mansion Attraction from Trashneyland. All 4 and 3 star attractions have 3 stories, often related to the theme of the building. (ex. Akatsuka Mansion has 3 stories related to Denki Mystery. Geruge Castle also has 3 stories related to the Geruge Set).

The original title is 二豎(にじゆ)と六人の男 (lit. The Evil Spirits of Illness and the Six Men). *Nijiyu (二豎) is a term that originated from the legends of Zheng Chenggong. Unfortunately it’s all in Chinese and I’m already at my wit’s end so I can’t give you an exact origin lmao. I’m not sure what exactly happened but there’s this Duke who was cursed to not be able to eat anything new. He is feeling ill, he dreams of his illness and the doctor says that the illness can’t be healed because the cause is somewhere even his medicine can’t reach. That’s my rough understanding of what happened. Anw, that illness became known as the Nijiyu. Edit: I looked up David Finch's filmography again and turns out that the original title is referencing his 1967 work "Six Men Getting Sick (Six Times)". I've changed the title to make more sense to English readers, but I've kept the original title in the mod notes. If the stage names are references to David Lynch's movies then the story names are references to David Lynch's short films. And unlike the stage names, the titles of each story is relevant to what happens in the story.

*** Chorosuke uses Anii-chama again. Which is a cutesy way of saying bigger brother: Nii-san > Nii-sama > Anii-chama. He’s acting like a sis-con btw.

**** If you haven’t noticed, their mushroom trip is based on their original attack sprites. Ozo’s hallucination is a combination of his (Taxi + Passenger) and Toshio (Removing Mask)’s attacks. Karatsugu, Hajime and Takashi are slightly different from their original attack sprites (Karatsugu doesn’t write a dying message, Hajime doesn’t wield an axe and bolo, Takashi isn’t screaming). Chorosuke and Toshio’s hallucinations are original. Chorosuke is hallucinating about Dayoko being taken away and Toshio’s hallucinations involve a big dog, most likely the Inugami Youkai.

*****I think the original text is an idiom? I don’t know what it exactly means though so I did my best approx.

[stardew-saloon]

Poly headcanons for Sebastian, Sam and the player? If not that’s okay!!!

Anon thank you for this,, I have the multiple spouse mod just so I can marry both of them 🥺🥺 I feel so bad just dating one of them bc I ship them So Much.

Poly Farmer with Sebastian and Sam!

Sam and Sebastian have crushed on each other for years. It’s painfully obvious to anyone that interacts with them.

When the Farmer shows up, they’re both very confused. They like each other, but they like you, too. Sebastian’s more angry than anything because he doesn’t understand it. He knew polyamory was a thing, he just never saw himself as someone like that.

Sam, on the other hand, hasn’t ever been too educated on different relationships. He didn’t even know you could date multiple people at the same time. But holy shit, now he really wanted to.

There’s two glaring issues that neither want to address: one, they don’t even know if you like either of them, and two, they don’t know that they like each other. So things are very dysfunctional and awkward for a while.

The Farmer starts to date Seb first. At first, they’re a little worried, because he always makes such longing faces whenever he sees Sam. He says it’s nothing, and he’ll tell you some other time.

Well, it’s officially Some Other Time. The Farmer has to ask what’s up with him. It’s a very long and painful discussion for Sebastian, but he eventually admits that he likes both of you. He’s liked Sam for years now, too.

The Farmer recalls a time before they were dating where Sam had mentioned something about having a crush on someone in the valley. A guy, specifically. The Farmer can’t see him dating Alex, and Shane and Harvey seem a bit older than him, so by process of elimination, it had to be Sebastian!

They decide that they’re going to try to subtly drop hints to Sam that they want to date him. Problem is, Sam is about as dense as they come. Every advance they make is always met with a laugh and a joke, or is ignored completely.

What they don’t know is that Sam is also confused. He doesn’t feel right crushing on his two best friends, who also happen to be dating. It’s wrong.

One night, when they’re all at the saloon together without Abigail (she had gotten sick) Seb works up the courage to shyly ask him if he’d ever thought about dating anyone here. Sam is in a corner, trying his best to give a nonchalant answer about it.

It doesn’t work and his cover completely fails. He says everything on the spot, even spouting some things that made the Farmer and Sebastian’s face flush a dark red.

Once he’s done, he’s getting ready to leave, having thouroughly embarrassed himself. Seb stops him, nearly shouting that they both wanted to date him. Luckily, the music was blasting in the saloon, so nobody heard (except maybe Shane, who didn’t care enough to listen in).

Sam is shocked, obviously. Not only does one of his crushes want to date him, two of them do? He asks someone to pinch him or maybe punch him in the face. He’s definitely dreaming.

Sebastian says that he and the Farmer have been talking about this a lot, and they wanted to date Sam too, if he’d have them. He says yes, or course, scooping both of them in his arms.

After that, their relationship is like before, only they kiss and cuddle a lot more. Robin doesn’t ask anything about it, but even a fool could tell that she’s just excited to see Seb so happy.

I feel like Sam is the first one to propose after they’ve all been dating for a while. They all move in to the farmhouse together, living happily ever after.

Listen I could go on about this for hours. Poly Sam/Seb/Farmer is the cutest thing ever and I love it. Somebody needs to write me a fic rn. 😡😡

Also sorry if this one is short! I haven’t been able to focus on anything today and my ADHD is making me bounce off the walls so I wanted to try doing something to distract myself. Hope y’all like it! Reqs are open, I’m still getting a couple everyday. :’)

[monokumaplush]

Heyhey :D can I request sum nagito x reader Angst maybe a happy ending 👉👈 thank chu :3

Of course! Let’s start this blog off right with some Nagito angst! Here you are, I hope this lives up to your request!

(Under the cut!)

~Mod Toko

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Another student, found guilty and brutally executed. Peko died while holding Fuyuhiko in her arms, making the whole scene all the more emotional. My eyes started to water and I sniffled. That seemed to catch the attention of a couple other students. “..Are you okay, (Y/N)?” Chiaki asked in a calm voice. “I..I’m..” I started quietly, trying to wipe my eyes before tears started to fall. “Geez, why are you crying?!” Hiyoko said loudly, keeping me from continuing. “It’s not like you were friends with her or something! Gosh, you’re almost as annoying as her.” She jabbed a thumb over at Mikan, causing her to whimper in response. What is wrong with her? She was so upset when Mahiru was found dead, and now when I show that I’m upset, she sees a perfect opportunity to make fun of me.

I snapped my head towards her, feeling my face slowly heat up with anger. “Yeah, I know I didn’t talk with her much, or with Mahiru, but it still makes me upset!” I yelled, causing her and a couple others to flinch. “I’m still upset that they died! Dying is something to be upset about!” I suddenly felt tears run down my face, but I didn’t try to stop them. “What I don’t understand is why you AREN’T upset!”  I continued, pointing a finger at Hiyoko. I heard someone step up behind me. “H-Hey, (Y/N), maybe you should… calm down a bit.” Nagito said, trying to place a hand on my shoulder, but I turned around before he had the chance, now pointing a finger at him. “MAYBE YOU SHOULD-…sh-should…” I trailed off as I looked him in the eyes.  I saw how worried he looked, worried about me. I looked around at everybody else, who seemed worried as well. I guess they didn’t think I would lash out like this. Why am I lashing out? I have no reason to be angry at Nagito, Hiyoko is the one making me upset. But I didn’t want to yell at anyone anymore, that won’t change anything. So, I just snapped out of my thoughts and ran away to my cottage, hot tears still streaming down my cheeks.

 My cottage door opened harshly as I pulled the handle and I slammed it shut behind me.  I lay down on my bed and buried my face into my pillow, continuing to sob. I was so tired of all the killing, the murders and executions. ‘Four people are dead already, and soon the bodies will start piling up.’ I tried to shake that thought as quickly as I could, but I knew it was true. Someone would kill somebody else, and we’d have to go through this all over again. I cried, and cried and cried and cried, until I fell asleep.

I suddenly woke up a few hours later, and I could see that the sun was setting. I sat in silence for a few seconds before I heard a knock at my door. I slowly got up as I rubbed my eyes, still feeling a bit drained from a while ago. “Who is it?” I asked, raising my voice loud enough so that they could hear me through the door. I didn’t want to take my chances after everything that happened. “It’s Nagito. I’ve been knocking for a while.” I heard him say from the other side of the door. I was a bit surprised, but mainly curious as to why he was visiting me, that I quickly grabbed onto the handle, but I slowed myself down and opened the door a crack, looking just to make sure that it was him.

I opened it wide enough for him to come in, shutting the door behind him when he did. “Um, sorry, I fell asleep. I must’ve woken up to your knocking.” I said a bit awkwardly. I was hoping he wasn’t angry about me yelling at him earlier. “Ah, sorry about that.” He apologized in return. “I shouldn’t have interrupted you. The ultimates need their rest to do their absolute best, don’t they? I shouldn’t have come over in the first place, I was being selfish…” He sighed as he scolded himself, but I quickly stopped him. “No, it’s alright! What are you doing over here anyway? It’s almost nighttime.” I asked, pointing out the obvious darkening sky. He looked at me for a bit before answering. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” The way he said it made my cheeks heat up for some reason. “I wanted to wait for a while so you weren’t as upset, but I didn’t really want to wait until tomorrow. I was worried.” He explained.

I felt my face soften when he said that. “I’m-I’m fine now, I guess… But, I want to apologize for yelling at you. You didn’t deserve it.” I looked down slightly, feeling ashamed. “You worry about me, but you shouldn’t. You should worry about yourself; you should worry about your friends.” I feel my eyes become watery again, but I don’t try to stop it. It wouldn’t matter, I was too upset to. “I don’t want them to die. I don’t want you to die. I don’t want anyone else to die!” I sobbed, looking up at Nagito. He looked like he didn’t know what to say. But after a few seconds, he did.

“(Y/N)… I don’t want you to die. Y-You’re too important to me. I know that it’s selfish of me to say, but… I really care about you.” That made my face burn. I could imagine that it was the same shade of red that dusted Nagito’s cheeks. “You… really care about me that much?” I asked a bit shocked. “Of course. I want to be there for you. I just hope you feel the same way…” He said, taking a small step towards me, giving me time to back out if I wanted. But, I didn’t. I closed the space between us and gave him a tight hug. He seemed to stiffen from the sudden contact, but he quickly wrapped his arms around me. “Hmm, I’m glad.” He said, and just from the sound of his voice, I could tell he had a smile on his face. “I’ll protect you, no matter what.” He said, pulling away from the hug, showing me his calming smile. I smiled back, and said, “And I’ll do the same for you. Let’s hope there’s no more killing in this stupid game!”

[unibrowzz]

Mod (finally) reviews all 67 winners of the Eurovision Song Contest Part VI: The 00s

So I gave the 2000s a lot of shit back when I was rewatching them, mainly because the contests became much longer now with the introductions of so many more participants that semi finals had to be introduced, and also because the song quality nosedived. With the televote now in full control of who won, all you really needed to do to get a good result was either send somebody well known in your geographical area, and/or send something weird that would stand out amongst 40+ participants.

This is where the illusion of “bloc voting” came from.

So song, quality for the most part, was compromised in favour of either sending an attention-grabbing vote trap or just somebody famous. But that’s enough about the contests overall, how’s about them winners?

2000- Fly on the Wings of Love

Country: Denmark

Artist: Olsen Brothers

Language: English

Thoughts: I wonder how it feels to wait nearly 40 years to win again only to win as a complete surprise with a song 100/1 in the odds. Must be weird. My feelings towards this song are… kinda mixed. It sounds like the kind of song you swear you’ve heard before over a million times, be it in advertisements, on the radio, being played by buskers or bored guitar kids at parties. But at the same time it feels so completely different compared to other winners and, Hell, even other Eurovision songs at the time. It’s a very striking and recognisable song when talking about Eurovision music, sure. It’s very chill, and relaxed, and the singer has a bizarre voice which somehow sounds heavily autotuned even when he’s performing live.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Not really

If no, what is? Sweden- Roger Pontare- “When Spirits are Calling my Name”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 46th

2001- Everybody

Country: Estonia

Artist: Tanel Padar & Dave Benton

Language: English

Thoughts: And this folks, is what you call a guilty pleasure. I avoided this song for a while because I just knew it was objectively terrible. I knew this barely qualified as a song, that most of it was just two mismatched dudes shouting at each other over a disco track, that the lyrics aren’t that great at all… Et cetera. And yet, trashy as it is, I still really like this song. I don’t really know why, maybe it’s my barely-hidden desire to be an obnoxious contrarian, maybe it’s because the chorus has some fairly decent lyrics (especially for an eastern European entry), maybe it’s because it’s catchy… Or maybe because it’s fun, I dunno.

Is this my personal winner for this year? 2001 really sucked tbh

If no, what is? Honestly yeah, this song shreds

Personal ranking (out of 67):  13th

2002: I Wanna

Country: Latvia

Artist: Marie N (Or, Maria Naumova)

Language: English (I think…?)

Thoughts: You want a song which hasn’t aged well? Well here you go.  I’m sure this song was MUCH more bearable back in 2002, but listening to it now is just... What on Earth is she even saying?? I don’t think I’ve heard a song with such garbled lyrics before. On my first listen, I couldn’t even distinguish what language this song was in, and when I finally realised it was in English… good Lord, the lyrics are complete nonsense. And the rhyming? It’s non-existent. The funny thing is Marie herself speaks really good English, so why this song sounds like it was run through Google Translate five times and sung by someone who only started learning English 5 minutes ago is beyond me. But enough about the terrible singing, lyrics and butchery of the English language, does this song have anything else going for it? Not really. I’d put this song into the same category as “Diva”, in that it’s trying desperately to be the next big disco track of its decade, but it just never reaches the crescendo it sets out to achieve. It just drunkenly fumbles around until it ends. What a graceful entry.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? United Kingdom- Jessica Garlick- "Come Back"

Personal ranking (out of 67):  59th

2003- Every Way that I Can

Country: Turkey

Artist: Sertab Erener

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the original ethnopop winner. I’m still not 100% sure what ethnopop is, but I’m guessing it’s just slang for the kind of music you’d hear in a gay bar whilst on your holidays. Not that I would know. This is yet another winner where it took me a good few listens to properly enjoy it since I thought the lyrics were a bit… bad. But unlike those other songs, I got into this one way back in (checks playlist) 2014, and I still haven’t managed to fall out of love with it, so to speak. I still really like this song, I’d go as far as to say it’s in my top ten favourite winners in fact. A statement which still hasn’t changed after I watched the 2003 contest recently in July of 2020, so hooray for that. And ethnopop isn’t really a genre I tend to gravitate towards, but I think what makes this song stand out to me at least is how heavy it is. This is a very slow song when you look at its BPM, and the beat just pounds loud and clear all throughout it. It’s not as obnoxious or in-your-face as other songs of its genre, it’s its own thing and that’s what makes it a cut above the rest for me.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67):  5th

2004- Wild Dances

Country: Ukraine

Artist: Ruslana

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the superior Ukrainian winner. This song is kind of similar to the one above, in that just like “Every Way that I Can” this is a big, stampy dance number, only this time with the distinction that the lyrics were written in 30 seconds rather than a few minutes. It doesn't get lazier than this folks. But I'm willing to forgive lazy lyrics if the song can distract me from them, and thankfully this song can. Plus it’s not like this song needs good lyrics anyway, I get the feeling the focus is more on the beat and instrumental more than anything. And luckily I’m a sucker for that.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67):  7th

2005- My Number One

Country: Greece

Artist: Helena Paparizou

Language: English

Thoughts: I’ll give you “My Number One crawled so Fuego could run”, more like My Number One won so Fuego could pull up the rear in second place behind a song full of chicken noises. But I’m getting ahead of myself. This song I feel is the one which really popularised that… certain brand of Eurovision song. The female-led, east Meditteranean origin, “Yas queen slay” brand of Eurovision song. Yanno. The true gay bar song. Which is, as I said earlier, not really a genre I like nor care for. Do I like this song? Eh. Kinda. I can’t really bring myself to hate it, since I have some good memories associated with it, but... … Well, I wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to it, put it that way. It feels kind of aggressive, and not in a way I’m all that comfortable with. The way she snarls that she’ll “get vicious” if her love isn’t reciprocated especially doesn’t sit right with me. Like I don’t want to be a That Guy™ who says people would get offended if a man sang that line, but it still puts me off a bit.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Hungary- NOX- “Forogj, Viláj!”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 36th

2006- Hard Rock Hallelujah

Country: Finland

Artist: Lordi

Language: English

Thoughts: My mother always asks me “how did this win?” And I always tell her, “Well it’s been nearly 15 years since it won and you still remember it, so clearly it left an impact on people.” So, obviously, this is a gimmicky entry; without the giant monster costumes I highly doubt this would’ve even qualified, let alone won with what was then a record-breaking score. After all, rock/metal songs don’t tend to fare well at this contest. Even with the drunk European public in full control of the vote, most of them are lucky to even make it onto the left side of the scoreboard, and getting into the top ten? Forget it. It's too niche of a genre for it to have broad appeal, especially given how a lot of viewers (in my experience at least) DO tend to be older and more conservative, shall we say.  Now, I'm not an expert on rock or metal myself, so I can't really say whether this is a good representation of the genre or whether this is what outsiders THINK it's like, but even to my untrained ear this does sound very tongue-in-cheek. Like I don’t want to go so far as to say this is a parody of metal music, but it definitely doesn’t seem to take itself too seriously. The song, I mean. Apparently the band is very serious about their monster aesthetic; but I digress. That said, I do have a soft spot for whatever sub-genre of metal this is, so I don’t mind this one in the slightest. 

Is this my personal winner for this year? This or Croatia

If no, what is? Croatia- Séverina- “Moja Stikla”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 30th

2007: Molitva

Country: Serbia

Artist: Marija Serifovic

Language: Serbian (Translation: “Prayer”)

Thoughts: Ah, this one takes me back. This was one of the first Eurovision songs I remember truly falling in love with way back in 2013. I must’ve been about 16 or 17 at the time, heavily into dark, edgy music, and this song was just pure heaven for me. Ticked all the right boxes. It’s dark, it’s brooding, it’s sultry, the vocals are stellar, the lyrics are incredible; like, I wanted the title of this song tattooed on my wrist, I loved it so damn much, I just wanted to declare to the world that I loved this song. But that was then, how do I feel about it today? Obviously not the same, tastes evolve over time and after a while I wasn’t so easily suckered into this song’s spell like I used to be. But at the same time, I can’t deny that this is a fantastic song across the board, and one I still like despite it being my edgy favourite from back when my taste in music was terrible. Plus this is also the best-sung song of the 2000s, but that’s like being the tallest person in a room full of toddlers.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal Ranking (out of 67): 3rd

2008: Believe

Country: Russia

Artist: Dima Bilan

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes. The song that finally made Terry Wogan quit after 30 years of “commentating”. The song that proved to the people of the UK once and for all that the contest was rigged to favour certain countries and that countries in western Europe would never win again. Was it worth it? Not really, but I’m not complaining.  Now, I don't like Wogan's commentary at all, but really? This song? This is the straw that broke the camel’s back? This song isn’t bad per se, it’s just… Very underwhelming. And outdated. Like I can smell the 2000s off this one and it smells like Lynx body spray and hair gel. It's stuck in that awkward phase where it's too old to be cool, but not old enough to be retro, and it’s forever doomed to be a product of its time. It’s just an average, generic, “I have a dream and I can achieve it” pseudo-ballad; nothing outstanding or special. The performance feels very stale and formulaic too. The only way to describe it is it’s what I imagine an American person would THINK a winning Eurovision song would be like based on what they get told by their European pen pals. Dated music, hot Russian men, over the top presentation, like this just reeks of what outsiders (or British people, for that matter) think Eurovision is made of. On a different note, mediocre and dated as this song may be, I can still kinda see how it won (and no, it has nothing to do with Russia’s international relationships). Dima himself is a very… unique performer; one who performs with the questionable energy of an overexcitable children’s YouTuber, and his dramatic and exaggerated movements make this whole performance a bit of a blast to watch. But that doesn’t really save how painfully bland the song is.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Latvia- Pirates- "Wolves of the Sea"

Personal ranking (out of 67): 48th

2009: Fairytale

Country: Norway

Artist: Alexander Rybak

Language: English

Thoughts: I’m not going to lie, my feelings towards this song are incredibly mixed. There’s a lot of appeal here, with wild violin solos, swooping vocals and a pounding beat, as well as a very singalongable chorus; like, this is a good, solid song. But… something here just doesn’t gel with me. This, to me, is one of those “good by default” songs that’s a solid ‘A’ across the board, but something’s just… missing for me. There’s not enough here for me to go out of my way to download and listen to this on a regular basis. It's in the same boat as “Waterloo” in that I don't dislike it, because it’s still a good song, but I can't say I like it either, because it’s such a default "best Eurovision song”, so I can’t sincerely say I like it. Am I making sense? Probably not. But basically my thoughts are “it’s good, but it’s not my kind of good.”

Is this my personal winner for this year? Ehhhhhh

If no, what is? Germany- Alex Swings, Oscar Sings- “Miss Kiss Kiss Bang”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 29th

[truth-and-lies-drv3-imagines]

-sᴀᴅ ᴀᴡᴀᴋᴇɴɪɴɢs

⤷How about characters of your choice comforting their S/O after they had a nightmare of said characters abandoning them?

⤷Contents: A few of the DRV3 characters being soft and fluffy, nightmares, crying, sweet talk. 

⤷Summary: S/O wakes up to a nightmare of their beloved abandoning them but they give all of their assurance and comfort denying their claims.

⤷Word Count: 1.4K words

⤷A/N: I LIVE for this request, I love these kinds of asks so much! Just a reminder that requests are opened and you are free to pop into the inbox and request whatever you’d like.

Mod Shuichi~

Blog Masterlist (It’s NOT completely finished yet, but will be at some point.)

Rantaro Amami

- Rantaro is a fairly deep sleeper, it takes a good bit of effort in order to wake him up from his slumber. When you woke up, you were in a void of confusion and doubt. You questioned how you acted and thought about every action you’d do if the horrifying scenes that played out in your dream actually came to life.

-Your eyes started forming small,salty droplets of water which travelled across your cheeks. It was a surprisingly challenging task to contain your sobs from waking up the person next to you, even if you two were in a blossoming and trusting relationship for years the thought of abandonment left chills down your spine.

- According to you, you were an average, normal person while on the other hand, Rantaro was a wealthy and attractive man who everyone would unconditionally die for. He had an alluring vibe to him which brought attention from many. He could practically obtain anybody he wished with just his charms alone, why were you the one who caught his eye?

- Eventually, your sobs were evidently clear to hear, enough to wake up the person sleeping right next to you. What gave you the hint that he was awake was his hand slightly moving from the sheets to your back.

-”Ahh, what’s wrong love?” You turned your body over, the first thing that met your sight was him looking down at you, the crust surrounding the edges of his eyes were quite visible, which was unexpected as the room was so dimly lit. Rantaro pulled you into a light hug,  as if he was a shield. He could feel small patches of wetness on his shirt which showed how much the distressing vision impacted you.

-”You’re crying so much, please tell me what’s wrong.” His voice was deep, he sounded exhausted, but his voice is so comforting even in these conditions. It always formed a sense of warmth inside of you which was a welcoming and sweet feeling. It was a strenuous task to try tell him that the reason why you felt lingering melancholy was because of a saddening,fictional and fabricated vision materialised by your brain.

- It wasn’t easy explaining him the reason of your tears, there was so much stuttering and sobs that broke your sentences like fragile glass which made you question his patience and tolerance. Rantaro nodded his head after you finished your confession and he patted your back a few times to show his awarness about the situation.

-”S/O, I honestly don’t know where this dream came from, I can completely understand the fear. But trust me on this, I wouldn’t ever trade you for something or someone else, you’re completely fine for me. You’ve always helped me when reducing stress, I appreciate every single thing you’ve ever done for me. Please don’t think I’d ever leave you for whatever reason.”

- You’ve noticed the reduction in your sobs and stress. Your breathing had finally caught on a composed pace, after his words you had a feeling of warmth and comfort which is a feeling that Rantaro always mananges to accomplish.

Shuichi Saihara

- Shuichi is a fairly light sleeper so even the smallest of things can cause a disturbance to his slumber. Even your trivial, meaningless movements you make while fast asleep could wake him up. This abnormal sleeping habit can be labeled as a bad thing, but on this one particular night it was more of a small miracle.

- You attempted to contain your sobs so it wouldn’t wake up the one sleeping next to you, you were already aware of the fact that it wasn’t easy for him to fall into a deep slumber, he was a busy man who drowned in the waves of papers and mysteries. Sleep is basically his escape from the stress. 

-This one particular sob earned a small groan from the detective because of how it was louder than the previous ones,  he most likely confused to why he was woken up. The sleepy man then turned to his side to see your body ever so slightly moving from your undisciplined whimpers.

- “Hey, w-what’s wrong?” His voice was toned down and sounded a little croaky but distinctly breathy. Which gave you a sense of peace and assurance with just his voice alone. He was an understanding and patient person with you, it was easy talking to him about your problems.

- Shuichi never rushed you when you were explaining your troubles and worries, he much favored you disclosing your problems in a calm and soothing manner than rushed, sloppy answers where its meaning couldn’t be easily deciphered. He carefully observed your every word and with every sentence brought out, he began to feel more and more pity and confusion as to why you felt that way. 

-”Hey, I get that you might be scared. But I wouldn’t leave you without a notice or leave you in general. I really do hold you close to me.” Shuichi always tried to make it clear as crystal that he wasn’t good with words and he’d much rather show his acknowledgment and love through small actions. But even if he strongly believed that his words never held any significant meaning, you still took every single word to heart. 

-”Just to cheer you up a little bit, I’ll go ahead and make a cup coffee or tea, or anything else you’d like. I really don’t want you to think that way because of a stupid dream. Okay?” You looked down slightly and nodded your head  marginally to show you’ve understood his words. “ You don’t mind, do you?” You asked just to not seem spoiled. “Not at all, I really don’t mind, I don’t want to see you like this.” 

- Once he had left the room, the corner of your lips turned upwards to resemble a soft,warm smile. 

Kaede Akamatsu

- Kaede isn’t a light sleeper nor a heavy sleeper, if that makes any sense. It wouldn’t take too much to wake her up but at the same time, she doesn’t normally wake up to the slightest and trivial of things. Your awakening from your horrifying slumber caused you to feel perplexed and apprehensive. 

-You were completely aware of the fact that dreams are simply just fantasies formulated by the brain but that didn’t help your anxious self calm down. You turned over to Kaede and thought about her every achievement,  every single dream she ever had that came to reality. You looked at yourself and started to feel slightly pessimistic. She could’ve easily left for someone who was more “talented”  you thought.

- You only realised how much the vision overwhelmed you when you felt a trickling sensation on your cheeks. She seemed to be fast asleep when you were beside her feeling confused and terrified for future events and happenings. You placed your already numb hand on your mouth trying to silence the sobs that came out of your mouth. 

- The young pianist could easily detect if somebody wasn’t beside her, and since you were sitting up it caused her to snap out of her dreams. She was beyond bewildered to why you were in that position. “S/o, what are you doing?” Her tone sounded slightly annoyed as just woke up and it’s evident that anybody would be a little irriated if they were woken up. But when she heard light and quiet sobs coming from you the tone of her voice changed to something softer.

- “Please don’t tell me you’re crying, you know how much it hurts me when you’re like that.” Just for her sake, you wish you didn’t have to cry when she was right beside you. You already knew how sensitive she can be when you feel emotions of melancholy. “Whatever it is, I can help you, I don’t mind. I hate to see you feel like this, please tell me what’s wrong.”

- You were aware that saying nothing and allowing only sobs escape from your mouth would just make her feel even more worried. So you started to explain everything from your dream, to your thoughts to how you thought everything would turn out.

- “Please, I wouldn’t leave you like that, all of a sudden, or for anybody else. I really do love you and leaving you would be the last thing on my mind.” It was quite surprising to you how her voice didn’t sound too tired, she sounded clear and calm, which gave you a feeling of warmth inside of you. She was always so confident and understandable when she’s giving comfort, she can just completely switch the mood from a negative to a positive one which is an admirable trait.

- She gave you a little peck on your cheek, she placed her arms around your waist to ressemble a hug, and with that, you were back to sleep with a small smile.

[onisiondrama]

RealStream’s Onision Interview Summary Part 3 - final

(Note: I’m not repeating stories he’s told before and just putting them in parenthesis. I have a lot more videos to go until I’m caught up so that would save me a lot of time. If he gives details I never heard from him before, I will type those.)

James says people like Hansen and Edwin wanted to interview him when they thought he was guilty. When he released a video saying what really happened, suddenly none of them wanted to interview him.

James says Blaire White was the most recent person who asked for an interview. He says he told her her obsession with drama will lead her down a bad path. The way she tries to cancel people is toxic and will not play out well for her long term. He says she should make videos about trans topics and make the world a better place. He says she immediately made a video saying he’s trying to manipulate her. [Here’s the video where she reads the emails. I don’t remember it too well.] He says he was being genuine. Now she was canceled because she tried to call a teacher a pedophile, but he’s really a great person. [I didn’t follow the situation too closely, but I am pretty sure it was because she accused a trans bodybuilder of competing in women’s competitions with an unfair advantage, but she did not. It was her poor research and her slowness to correct the situation that pissed people off.] He says it’s like what she did to him.

He says he recently wrote Jaclyn, Edwin, Repzilla offering them free interviews for charity. He told Jaclyn she could do it for profit as a wedding gift. He says they all are ghosting him. He says they are the biggest frauds and fakes on Youtube. They can’t admit when they’re wrong. He says Chris Hansen is the king of it.

RS says he likes Jaclyn. James says if you look up her plagiarism story, she copied a whole essay and made it as if it was her own video. He says he ignored it in the beginning. He says it’s stupid because of course people are going to find out and you’re outing yourself as a total fraud. He says when he’s at odds with her, she is incapable of being in a live discussion. She only talks to him when she’s not hating on him, like with Social Repose. RS asks didn’t she clear things up recently with James? James says she’s all over the place. He says he apologized for being so hard on her. (He warned Jaclyn about SR story) He says she accepted his apology, but then she went to the dark side when she started dating the guy she’s married to now. He’s a follower of hate blogs and is a Patreon of somebody who is anti-o. RS says he met David and he’s a really nice guy. James says that’s an illusion. Niceness is an illusion. Michael Jackson was nice. James says his dad was one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. Shane is super nice. He asks how many times do you hear about someone who tells their parents they were victimized and the parents take the other person’s side because they’re the nicest charismatic person you’ll ever meet? Jaclyn’s husband is paying someone whos career is attacking him. He says he wouldn’t pay an anti-Shane Patreon.

RS says David was one of the first people to join his Patreon when he made it and gave him an interview when Jaclyn and him started dating. James asks if someone is only nice if they do you favors. RS says he’s had conversations and real interactions and he did things he didn’t have to do, like give him an interview. James asks what is David’s status? He says if someone is beneath you (celebrity wise), they’re not doing you a favor. They’re doing themselves a favor. He says he never even heard of David before. RS says he just appreciates when people give him interviews and David and Jaclyn went out of their way to meet up with him at Playlist Live. (James laughs scoffingly.) James asks if RS was anti-onision at the time. RS says he was. James says, “there you go.” He says they are so hateful and will do anything they can to support the anti-onision agenda. He says he didn’t even do anything to Jaclyn besides tell her she’s dumb for being around SR. [That’s not true. He did a lot more than that. For example he bashed her for getting a boob job and said she’s gross because she’s tall.] He says she's obsessed with the idea that she’s so smart and capable and when someone questions her they’re the devil. “That woman blows my mind.” Says she can’t have a conversation with anyone and hides behind a camera.

James says Blaire and Jaclyn would send selfies to him trying to mock him. He says SR and Jaclyn would make videos together obsessing over him. He had flown Jaclyn to work with him before and she was cool to him, but when she was with SR she acted like she never met him. He says she’s mad he was right about SR. Every since SR she’s been so hateful to him.

James realizes the person David followed on Patreon was probably RS. RS says he’s not anti-o anymore because he’s seen stuff that turned him off. He says people who make videos about James say things they know aren’t true, but it’ll sell. They’re soulless. James says the more crazy they say, they more money they’ll make.

James says there’s a pattern that when someone tries to wage a war on him, then they crumble. Like JoySparkleBS, TallVideos. RS says he saw TallVideos say he’s doing an interview with James in a month. James says he’s full of shit. He says he hasn’t talked to him since TallVideos apologized to him and James told him to “eat shit.”

(They talk about a situation RS was in with an ex-mod of James’. I don’t want to type it all up because it’s too off topic for this blog, but James recently apologized because he found out something new about the situation. I’m not 100% sure what they’re talking about tbh. They’re being a but vague, but I guess I’ll find out when I make the summary for James’ apology video on the subject.)

James says he showed Edwin and Repzilla the video where Sarah admits to sexually extorting them. He says that’s her saying it before him, there’s no outside influence. [The outside influence was James. He used her joke about the NDA to accuse her of rape. He said this multiple times, that he accused her and she left his house for 3 hours because she was so upset. She brought it up on the livestream because he already personally accused her and she knew he would say it publicly eventually.] He says she apologized for it to his face twice. He says Edwin and Repzilla choose not to believe that.

[askthedustbowl]

You already know... fluff with some angst to make it spicy™️ (Orphydice, of course)

hell yeah! this was inspired by a conversation that mod payton and i had about orpheus and eurydice being each other’s first meaningful relationship.

———

“eurydice!” megara waved as she walked in to the near-empty bar, tossing her purple hair over her shoulder with the other hand. “hey, babe.”

it was so off-putting seeing her in a non-classroom setting that eurydice almost didn’t recognize her. “oh, hi!”

orpheus looked between them and slipped his hand in eurydice’s, interlocking their fingers.

megara raised an eyebrow. “who’s this?” she looked orpheus up and down and then met eurydice’s eyes again.

eurydice froze. she had been dreading this moment ever since she and orpheus kissed for the first time. she hated the idea of a label on their relationship—that would make it too real, and she just wasn’t ready for that kind of responsibility. being a girlfriend just wasn’t who she was. to be fair, she’d never been one before. always someone men went to when they needed someone to use, never someone they went to when they needed someone to love.

she knew she had to say something quick. anyone within a five foot distance probably saw her life flash before her eyes. “this is orpheus.” eurydice cleared her throat awkwardly. “he’s...the bartender.” she felt orpheus’s hand fall out of her grasp.

“the bartender?” megara asked.

“the bartender?” orpheus whispered.

“and do you kiss all your bartenders like that?” megara smirked, unaware of the wall that had just slid in between the couple in front of her.

orpheus whirled to face eurydice. “there are other bartenders??”

“no! i mean, no. this is orpheus.” eurydice sighed.

“yeah, i think you mentioned his name is orpheus.” megara clicked her fingernails on the bar. “while you sort that out, could orpheus the bartender get me a bottle of water?”

orpheus bit his lip and nodded, turning to get megara’s order.

eurydice excused herself to the back room and put her head in her hands. “really?” she hissed to herself.

eurydice disappeared into the apartment above to try and distract herself by studying, just waiting with dread for orpheus to close up the dust bowl and come upstairs. she got the feeling that she really fucked up, but she didn’t know how orpheus would react. would he hate her? break up with her? tell her to get out of his apartment?? she tried not to think about it, but it always managed to come to mind, just when she’d almost forgotten.

at ten o’clock, eurydice heard his key turn in the door and winced at the sound. it was a good thing hermes was out with persephone and clio for the night, or else she would have had to fake her death and move across the ocean.

eurydice stood from her place on the sofa and stopped in front of the door. orpheus entered with his denim jacket draped over one arm. eurydice waited with bated breath for him to say something. if she spoke first she feared she would only fuck up more.

finally, he took a breath to speak. “the BARTENDER?” he exclaimed, voice cracking. it was louder than eurydice had ever heard him speak.

“i didn’t know what to say, okay??” eurydice crossed her arms. “i-i just...i didn’t know what to say.”

orphe hung up his jacket and turned back to face her, shaking his head in something that could be mistaken for disbelief if his wasn’t so disappointed. “the bartender?”

“poet, i’m sorry—“

“are you...” he trailed off, looking at her with sad puppy-dog eyes. “eurydice, are you embarrassed of me?”

eurydice felt like all the wind had been knocked out of her. that was the last thing she wanted orpheus to think. “baby, no. i could never be embarrassed of you, i promise—i just, i’m not...”

“you’re not...what?” orpheus asked quietly. eurydice could tell that he was bracing himself to get his heart broken, and it made her chest ache with guilt.

“i’ve never been somebody’s...” she exhaled hard. “i’ve never been...”

“somebody’s bartender.” orpheus finished.

eurydice felt a weight lift from her shoulders. he always knew what to say. she chuckled. “yes. yeah. this is...new.”

orpheus smiled faintly. “i get it.” he nodded.

“you do?” eurydice uncrossed her arms.

orpheus took her hand. “i do.”

[kinkyacademia]

Hi made this out of the depths of despair just to comfort myself. If anybody else needs some top tier stupid comfort from Dabi, soak this crap up. The subject was really dumb, but I still bawled my eyes out over it.

All normal fucked-ideals villain warnings apply ^-^

-Mod Pasta🍜🍝

You and Dabi lived in a small apartment together, his career with the League just starting to bloom. He loved how down to earth you could be, and you loved how oddly human he was outside of his murderous, dangerous persona.

While you were down to earth, you got very... attached to certain things. The lamp in your shared bedroom that Dabi bought for you as a gift that he also accidentally broke, the silverware set from your parents, and most importantly, character from your favourite goddamn show. In this particular one, you thought you had gotten over the death of your character’s very closest, most important friend that they would have done anything for.

Well apparently not. The fact that you were face-deep in a pillow typically used as Dabi’s arm rest, staining it with your tears and bawling like a maniac was proof enough that you were definitely, 110% not over their death. Someone had posted a video as a tribute to their death, and you couldn’t keep yourself from entirely relapsing your sadness over their death. You knew Dabi would be gone for at least another few hours, so you could recuperate, fix your makeup, clean the pillow and maybe cook dinner to distract him from the sombre mood you were in. Perhaps you could even chug half a bottle of wine to rid yourself of the thoughts plaguing you.

Damn it, why did they have to go die? They knew they were going to die, they knew very well they would die if they continued what they were doing. Alas, you pushed yourself up, stumbling to the liquor shelf in your dimly lit kitchen and grabbing the rest of the wine Dabi always kept stocked up.

He mostly used it for occasions where he was sad, but he said that if you ever needed them for the same reason, to always call him before pouring it. He didn’t want you to be alone when you were sad, but god damn it you knew this reason wasn’t good enough to call your very busy boyfriend off from his mission to murder the leader of a growing gang in a southern part of the district Shigaraki liked to call his own.

You would have gone with him, but your quirks didn’t compliment each other’s quite well in battle, and Shigaraki in his attempt to be a better leader had said you wouldn’t go with him no matter what. You didn’t want to under mind him in case he would lash out, so here you were, crying over a stupid character death when you could kill an entire room full of important figures and never care. But you always got attached to characters from TV shows because there was so much to love about them. So much to care about, and in this case, the character was extremely important. Sometimes this show liked to kill off important characters like that to cause shifts in the main cast, but your favourite character’s friend have to be the one? Technically yes, but that still caused them to be so sad, and they didn’t deserve it, and...

Yeah you would need the whole bottle. There was just over half left, and at this point in your sorrow, you were through most of it. As your head began to become foggy, your heart skipped a beat - somebody was jangling their keys, looking for the right one. Even inhibited, you always knew to stay alert. Dabi’s key chain was one you knew all too well, so you set the glass down making sure not to break it, then ran to the bathroom, eyes wide. You were still crying! You would look pathetic in his eyes, you were a murderous feign who upheld a gruesome vow to Stain, not some schoolgirl who cries over fake characters.

Desperately trying to fix your makeup, the door opened and Dabi called out, “(F/N)?”

You didn’t respond, working quickly and efficiently. He seemed to be doing something, and right when you felt confident enough to strut out of the bathroom, you heard him sigh, “What happened this time?”

Your jaw clenched. He was standing in the kitchen, his coat dark in some places from the obvious smell of blood in the air, and his hair was a bit flat from - gods had there really been that much blood? You cocked an eyebrow, trying to fake confidence, “I wanted to get drunk.”

“And why do you want to get drunk?” He picked the glass up, twirling it around and watching the sediment on the bottom fly back up into the glass. He then took a sip, sighing as the poison burned the back of his throat, eyes closed in bliss. He had probably gone into the kitchen first to pour himself a glass of the same stuff.

“Past tense, my dear, did. And because I can, don’t you know?” You giggled, hoping to fool him into thinking it was purely sadistic choice. His eyes narrowed as you swayed towards him, but he knew you too well. Dabi was the master of memorizing body language, and that wasn’t a drunken gate.

“You were crying,” He slowly put the glass down, and you shrugged, unable to uphold the lie any longer, but too stubborn to tell him why.

“So what? We both cry at times, sometimes more than civilians,” You felt a familiar tickle in your throat, and quickly suppressed it. You wouldn’t start crying again, not right in front of your boyfriend. He took one more step to be right in front of you, and you expected what came next.

“Don’t,” Like lightning, he grabbed your jaw, angling your face up at him and raising you to your toes, “Avoid the subject, (F/N). Why were you crying?” But this wouldn’t spark the fearful excitement in the way it usually did. You were too far off at this point for it to affect you. You merely grinned, gripping his hand around you with a fairy-light touch.

“Fuck it out of me,” That would certainly change his mind. His eyes shifted, widening and then narrowing as a smug expression pulled as his lips, but you witnessed him consciously push it down.

“I’m not an idiot. In fact, I come from a long line of smart assholes. This one wants to help you,” He leaned forward, leaned down to be level with you, “Don’t take my love for granted.”

You considered telling him the stupid reason, and you considered lying again. It was dumb, absolutely dumb, but you loved him. Perhaps you could fake how bad you had been crying? No, he saw the wine, he knew it was intense. Goddamn it, but when he was being this dominant, you couldn’t think straight...

“It was (Fav Character Death),” You averted your eyes away from him, and you were slowly lowered to the floor again. Instead of inspecting the damage, you ducked around him to grab the wine glass, “It’s a stupid reason, Dabi, just drop it.”

“Yeah, it is,” You turned to him as he was taking off his coat, and you could see spots were the blood had soaked through to his white undershirt. He walked out, and you had a second to yourself to sip the wine and think things over. The usually emotionless prick was your boyfriend, but you didn’t want to burden him with the things that you found interest in. He was back quickly, and you heard the smaller washer that had come with the apartment. You watched him as he opened the cabinet, pulling out a jar of peanut butter and then grabbing a spoon. He spoke first, as usual.

“It’s not stupid to get upset over anything. You can’t control that stuff. At least you’re normal enough to connect to a fiction character,” You perked up at that, but then felt your heart melt when he stuck a spoon full of peanut butter into his mouth, turning on a dime to observe your expression. His own quickly fowled as he scowled, “Stop that.”

“Sorry, sorry,” You waved him off, taking another sip of wine. He approached you once again, place his hand on your own.

“You should be, I’m not cute, I’m a murderer,” He could always read your thoughts, the damned smart bitch. You rolled your eyes at that, smirking.

“Since we’re both ruthless killers, that means we’re on an even playing field, so I have every right to say you’re-” A half-eaten spoon of peanut butter that tasted suspiciously like your boyfriend’s mouth was shoved into your own, and he snatched the wine out of your hand.

“It’s my job to be drunk,” He took a sip, and you whined while trying to get the rest of the peanut butter off of the spoon. He observed you, his own expression that of contentment. You knew he was thinking the same thing about you - how cute you looked - but you didn’t have it in you to shout at him. You were too tipsy and too emotionally drained.

“It’s sthicky...” You whined, and he chuckled raising his eyebrows as he chugged the rest of the wine glass, then smacked his scarred lips and walked past you, setting it down and grabbing the glass to refill it.

“Don’t worry, I promise to fuck you senseless later. Now, I have to put up with my sad girlfriend,” Your whining continued, and you shook your head, throwing the spoon into the sink and walking to the couch, plopping down. Dabi was next to you in a split second, wine glass still in hand.

“Getting connected to fictional character is one thing, but crying over their deaths? I kill people, Dabi, this is just pathetic,” You grumbled, and he shrugged. You went to grab the remote from the foot rest, but he put one boot on it, cocking an eyebrow. You gave one back, but reluctantly leaned back into the couch.

“You’re not emotionless, that’s what counts,” He started to sip from the glass, probably just pretending to enjoy it. All he craved was the high, not the flavour.

“A good killer is emotionless-”

“Stain would disagree,” Your eyes snapped wider. He rarely brought up the man both of you admired so much, and when he did, he always made a point with it, “We need a world with heroes who save because it’s what’s right. That means we need an underworld of those who kill because it’s what’s right.”

You unconsciously smiled, glancing down at his hand as you took it with your own tenderly. He ignored the gesture, but allowed you to hold it, bringing it to your lips as you kissed his knuckles, “I might be weak in this sense, but you always know how to make me feel stronger.”

“Too sappy, shut up,” You grinned as his cheeks began to darken. He’d always insult you if you flustered him like this. You lunged forward, hugging him as you straddled his warm lap.

“Love you too much to stop!” You giggled, and he groaned, then yelped. You pulled back, arms around his neck with raised eyebrows as you eyed the man. He didn’t yelp over nothing.

“You made me spill, you bitch,” His eyes were narrow with annoyance, and pursed your lips, slowly looking away from him.

“Ooh...” Then you looked down. By your leg around his own was the pillow you had cried into. Wine stained where you makeup had also done the same, but not too much. A couple drops were also on your leg. You glanced back up at him, “Wait,” you then took the couple drops on your finger, sticking it into your mouth all while making eye contact with him.

You could physically see himself holding back. His eyebrow was twitching, his teeth were clenched, and his hand was sneaking to your ass.

“Minx,” He muttered, and you shrugged, leaning it for kiss. He pulled back, shoving the glass of wine in your face, “We finish this, then we can play.”

To say the least, that glass was gone faster than should legally be possible.

[halidomhappenings]

Mod Announcement

“It’s been a long while, hasn’t it everyone? Our apologies for that - we figured you could all use a break and enjot other community events in the meantime. Emm and I have no plans currently to run a full blown tournament, but we did agree that we could all use something to take our minds off current events.

Just give us a moment, so we can step inside and reveal what we have planned...”

“...Emm? Why is the door locked?”

“Huh? Oh my goodness... It looks like someone has taken control of the announcer's box. I better go find Frederick, I think he has the master key somewhere--”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

MOD EMMERYN ---> MOD LINHARDT

MOD CHROM     ---> MOD HUBERT

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Hehehe... I see that Ylisse’s royalty is composed of fools. Not to worry: we have very little planned for them beyond a hostile takeover of this event. We’ll let them back in when I have achieved my goals. We’re all, simply put, going to play a little game... Linhardt. You could at least pretend to seem interested, given you’ve been appointed the role of co-moderator.”

"Oh please, you just brought me here to punish me. I know I fell asleep in our last class, but now you’re just making everyone else suffer too. Do you think I’m going to be any use to you in this?”

“...Well. As I was saying, this game shall take place somewhere between April 2nd and April 11th, as those from outside Fodlan would say. We request that you tell us all of your available dates for joining us.

If you have already answered a survey unnanounced by myself and Linhardt, we ask that you do this again, as the Ylisseans were using different dates. Do not worry about the timings - there shall be at least two renditions of this game, to accommodate as many as possible.

I’m sure that many of you are familiar with a game called Werewolves. Knowing the rules of that will give you an idea of what will happen... But let’s just say that occult creatures are the least of your problems.

We may organise another activity at some point, but this one will take place over Discord, using microphone for those, such as Dorothea, who wish to heard, and text for if those like Bernadetta should somehow join us. You will not be penalised for choosing one over the other. The rest of the rules and any custom roles will be clarified closer to the time.

Best of luck and remember... Many things lurk within the darkness...”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

GENERAL EVENT RULES:

1) All participants must be following this event blog, and it is highly recommended (but not compulsory) that you follow our two mod blogs, as well.

2) If you have any private questions or concerns, please contact the mods through messages first. Any vague posts or public "call outs" will result in your disqualification from the event and a ban from all future events on this blog.

3) To participate in this game, you must have Discord!

4) Due to the nature of the game, please be prepared to interact with non-mutuals! If there is an issue with somebody else you believe will be in the server, and we mean a serious issue, contact us privately so we can discuss it.

5) Have fun!

[denkimystery]

Denki Mystery Series - 2nd Episode: 『Character*』

ー Akashika Station Platform, Noon

Hajime: It’s so hot. You said you didn’t want to see me off. … Will the store be ok?

Takashi: Well, I’m free. So. You know.

Hajime: Oh, I see.

Takashi: Business is fluctuating tho~uugh.

Hajime: Ah… Sorry. Can you handle it? I’m not good at worrying about people.

Takashi: Well, it’s so-so. I have an aunt you know. She wants me to keep the store running.

Hajime: I see, so it’s all good then. I’m glad you have an aunt, that’s good to hear.

Takashi: The resident police officer comes by to eat some donuts. They’re just pancake mix that I fried up though, hehe!

Hajime: I didn’t know they were made with pancake mix. They tasted so good. … So, will I be able to fly?

Takashi: Hey, the officer being able to fly has nothing to do with my donuts!

Takashi: Seriously, Shisaka-san you were making a joke with such a straight face? … Fufufu.

Hajime: Just Hajime is fine.

Takashi: Alright, hehehe.

Karatsugu: Phew, … most of the vending machines here are sold out. Here, have one. It’s hot.

[[Karatsugu hands Takashi a can, it’s started to sweat.]]

Takashi: Eh, me? Th-thank you. … Eh!? Beer!?

Karatsugu: It was the only one they had left. Here, you too.

Karatsugu opens the other can of beer and hands it to Hajime.

Hajime: Ah, thanks.

Karatsugu opens his own can,

Karatsugu: Ah, bubbles!

And takes a big gulp.

Karatsugu: Phew!

Takashi follows suite and takes a gulp

Takashi: Phew~! Delicious!

Hajime: Mm, it’s cold and delicious.

Karatsugu: It’s coming.

Hajime: … Ah… the train.

The sound of the train riding the tracks fill the station as the train approaches the platform.

Takashi: Well, have a safe trip big brothers. Thanks for the beer.

Karatsugu: See you soon.

Hajime: Yeah, see ya.

The doors close after Karatsugu and Hajime step into the train.

Karatsugu: …….

Hajime: …….

Karatsugu: …… What a peaceful landscape. I can’t believe we went through a horrible experience, it’s like a dream.

Hajime: … You’re right. Ah… Look. … A paper bag waving in the fields.

…… -chimatsu-niisan!……

…… -ramatsu-niisan!……

…… -ye-bye!……

Karatsugu: Heh. Are you alright? I heard somebody shout matsu, matsu.

Hajime: …….

Karatsugu: Ah, a tunnel.

ー

[[The idyllic view of the countryside is replaced by darkness.]]

Hajime: ...Taboos can be seen as a kind of rules that occurs naturally in a group as a result of their faith.

Hajime: Bad things don't always happen. It could be that they avoid something, like a song of magic incantation.

Karatsugu: Well, that’s just superstition.

Karatsugu takes a swig from his can of beer.

Karatsugu: Fuu…. … But whether it’s legit or not…

Karatsugu: Even if a good thing comes out of it... it's not a good thing that it's forbidden because some people don't want it to happen.

Karatsugu: I don’t like it. [he says as he takes another sip of his beer.]

Hajime: …… Eldest son, you didn't come. I was expecting you to come.

Karatsugu: No, he was there.

Hajime: … Eh? Really?

Karatsugu: When you were waving, a taxi stopped on the other side of the road. I couldn't see the inside, but I’m pretty sure it was him.

Hajime: … so that’s what happened.

Karatsugu: … swallow Hm? … You’re not drinking your beer. If you don’t want to finish it, let me drink it. Here, give it to me.

Hajime: Ah, sorry. I’ll drink it.

Hajime downs the rest of his beer.

Hajime: Phew… Thanks for the drink.

Karatsugu: … Ahh, that’s right! I have to return your notebook, remember?

Karatsugu rummages through his blue messenger bag. He pulls out a notebook and hands it to Hajime.

Karatsugu: Thanks for lending it to me.

Hajime: I know you haven’t fixed your voice recorder. It’s a spare. Use it, when you need to take notes in the case of an emergency.

Karatsugu: I know. The Editor-in-Chief also scolds me a lot for not using a notebook. I get it, excuse me.

Hajime: Take it, take it. … Wait, eh? It’s not that you didn’t lose it but you really don’t have one with you? … Eh. Don’t you need a notebook to have something to write on?

Karatsugu: This voice recorder is my partner-in-crime.

Hajime: Wait, I mean. Your “partner-in-crime” broke at a crucial moment and didn’t work. Did you not worry about that at all?

Karatsugu: Up until now, this is the first time I’ve done an interview alone.

Hajime: Eh. So it’s true that you’re really a newbie? If so, then you should always carry a notebook. As a regular member of society, it’s not my place to say this either.

Karatsugu: Heh! That’s what the Chief told me too. He’s always been a memo-man just like you. But I'm sticking to my own style, with my partner-in-crime.

Hajime: I mean, it’s not like your partner, broke and didn’t work at a crucial moment. This is the second time I’m saying this.

Kurukurukuru…! Gaga...

Hajime: Hm? What was that?

Hajime looks at the source of the sound. Karatsugu’s bag. The reporter digs through his bag, looking for what made the noise.

Karatsugu: Aah! Partner! You’ve come back to life!

Hajime: It’s back to normal… Is it rewinding by itself or moving in a strange way? Strange.

Karatsugu: Yeah, it is. But it's strange. It shouldn't have moved at all, but it's like it's recording...

Karatsugu plays the tape on the voice recorder.

《...gaga. pi.. O×△O… matsuno… tsumo. bassho~mu~tsu….. pipi...》

Hajime: .... What was that. Ah. We’re almost there…. the station.

ー

ー Station Platform

Karatsugu: Phew, … I didn’t notice that time had passed!

Hajime: ... Humans, too many.

Karatsugu: ... what to do, I'm going to stop by the editorial office for a bit and then go home, but if you want to eat…

Hajime: …….

[[The lack of reply catches Karatsugu’s attention. He sees Hajime blank faced staring at something.]]

Karatsugu: Hey, what’s wrong? … You okay?

Hajime: Huh? … I thought there was an elevator over here, but...*

[[Karatsugu follows Hajime’s gaze. There’s nothing.]]

Karatsugu: You tired? The stairs are this way, come on.

[[Karatsugu pauses, looking at Hajime’s face.]]

Karatsugu: … what’s wrong? You’re sleepy.

Hajime: Huh?

[[Hajime feels wet pooling in his eyes, threatening to break and fall.]]

Hajime: Tears are…

[[Hajime quickly wipes them away.]]

Hajime: Let’s take the stairs.

Karatsugu: You must be hungry. Sorry, I need to stop by the editorial office first.

Hajime: Mm. I’m fine. … You think your editor-in-chief would get mad if I come along?

Karatsugu: Heh. Bingo. You’re sharp. But that's not all. You love books, so I thought you'd be interested.

Hajime: Mm. I’m interested. … I hope he doesn’t get mad at you.

ー

ー “Matsuzo Monthly**” Editorial Department, Night

Karatsugu: Chief! I’m back from the interview. … Heh! Wouldn’t it be a topic of conversation over here, too? … the gruesome and mysterious incident in the mountain village!

Karatsugu: What is the secret of the villagers with the same face!? A report written by one of the parties involved in the case! This is... sure to be an intensive serialization!

Hajime: Eh... you’re writing about it?... Do you need money right now?

Editor-in-Chief: What are you going on about? Where did you go to cover this? You, I’m talking to you***.

[[Karatsugu wilts from his original enthusiasm, his voice smaller than when he first entered.]]

Karatsugu: Akatsuka Village… A village in the mountains…

Editor-in-Chief: EHH!! … YOU IDIOOOT****!! WHO GOES TO DO AN INTERVIEW WITHOUT TELLING THEIR CHIEF THEIR DESTINATION!!

Karatsugu: Wow! You’re mad!?

Hajime: He suddenly got angry.

Editor-in-Chief: Mmmmmm... What’s wrong...? I told you that I lost one of my men. That's where he went missing!

Karatsugu: Eh....

Editor-in-Chief: Phew, but it's good to see you back. It's quite chilling…. Hm? And you are....

[[Hajime shies away from the attention looking down, bowing.]]

Hajime: Uhhh, my name’s Shisaka.

Editor-in-Chief: You, let me see your face properly….

[[Hajime lifts his head from staring down.]]

Editor-in-Chief: Ah… You’re.... What in the-!?

Karatsugu: I knew it, didn't I? Heh! Chief! This is Hajime, my brother.

Editor-in-Chief: Mmmmmm... I don't know where to start.... Are you being chased? You with the same face. I'll give you my business card. I'm the editor in chief here.

[[The chief hands his business card to Hajime.]]

Editor-in-Chief: I'm Matsuno Matsuzou. I am your father.

Hajime: Uwah, it’s got two “Matsu"***** characters in it.

Karatsugu: Defeating taboo with another taboo, even demons would run away from such a name. Come to think of it, chief, you have such a name.

Editor-in-Chief Matsuzo: You, you really don’t listen, do you.

ーThe Endー

Original Event

Summer Arc: 1 | 2 | 3

Mod note: The title is originally 字母(じぼ), can be translated to either letter or alphabet. The title is a reference to David Lynch's 1968 work "The Alphabet". But to make the title make sense to the story and it's climax, i opted for "Character", which could be interpreted as a character of the Japanese writing system (like Kanji, since technically kanji aren't letters. They're logograms.).

*This could be a prolonged side-effect from the mushrooms. The elevator he's seeing could be a reference to the enemy base from the Angel event. The background used for the station Hajime and Karatsugu are at is the same train station background which was introduced in that event. The elevator is in the middle of a busy crowd and has HELL written on the screen.

***** Matsu as in 松 the taboo from Akatsuka Village.

**It doesn’t use the Matsu Pine Kanji, 松, opting for the Katakana writing instead, マツソ.

***The editor in chief specifically says “Omae.” which is a very rude way to refer to someone. I added a few words so it reads as scolding from a superior.

****Chief uses the term Bakamon, which is a reference to a very old joke in Japan.

also there's a part here where they talk about Ozo, I think what happened was that Toshio rode in Ozo's Taxi following the train, as he put his head out the window to say goodbye, his paper bag must have flown in the wind, that lead to Hajime noticing it in the first place. a little bit later Karatsugu notices the taxi outside the window. I'm not sure though, those might be two different moments. I've posted the transcript if you'd like to make heads or tails with that moment.

[dungeons-and-hermits]

System Overload

This one was written for us by a friend who got inspired by mod vos’s Biffa! Massive thanks to @oreganocactus, this fic is glorious!

Genre: Angst Characters: Biffa Summary: Humanity is cruel Word Count: 2213 Author: Submission (@oreganocactus)

void humanity()      {           express(emotions);           if(peopleInTown>500);           {                helpPeople(1);                add (peopleHelped +1);                until(peopleHelped>250);                break;           }           question(world);      }

task main()      {           openEye(left);           openEye(right);           humanity();      }

Program initializing…

Program starting…

(X) Error in Compilation

(X) Error running function “humanity”

(X) Error…?

(̴̷͔̗̪̖̀X̧̦̭̮̓ͯ̓ͮ̑̈́ͧͩ̚ͅ)̨͇̪̩̪̖ͣͪͧͤ̀̔ ̈ͯ̀̇͂ͤ͏̣͉͚͚͉̪E̤̟̬̠͚̼͐̈́́ͦ͆r̙̜̫̘͚̦̜̩ͬ̍̓̂̀͘ṟ̻̳͖̝̞̟ͬ̕͢o̳̤̻̤ͭ̓͊̓r̖̣̭̻̠͋ͫ̇͗̓ͯ͌͐ͮ ̶̴͆̉͛̔̚҉̬̻̱Ȩ͓̬͎̓͑̍͑͢r̹̖͚̄ͥͩ̋͌̓̈́r͗̌̓̈́̽̍̃ͮ҉҉͎̰͎̫̳̞̳̗ͅo̤̫ͣ̇ͩ̈̔̔̒͛ͭr̷̢̝̩̜̪̲̳͇̪ͬ̀̾͋ͯ̋ ̡̰̣̂͑ͥ̌̊̚E͎̘̤̜ͣͦ̎́ŗ̯̗̯̠̬͔͌͟ͅr͈͚͍̻̼͍̗̺̝ͧ̿ͮo̎́҉̦̤̣̝͓̜͚ͅŕ̳̬̱͕̭̺͐̀ͧ̀̾̊ ̝̺̗̟͉͚̪͙́͒̔̓̓͗̎͡E̠͇̙͑ͣ̇̈́́ͅr̨͈̣͈̪͔͔͇̰̈́ͪ̅̄̑͢͢r̴͇̻͕͓ͪ̋ơ͉͎̥̤̖̭ͮ̔͑͂̓͝r̩̉͛ͧͦ͗͗͆̏

̸͉̱̦ͧͧ̈́ͣ͊̈́͋ͦ

Are you human? Words spill out of their mouth. He’s in a bar, he thinks, just hoping for a place to stay the night over. What are you? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know doesn’t know doesn’t know. Hey. Listen up. He can’t, doesn’t know anything, doesn’t know—

—

Biffa walks into a town. He surveys the land. He leaves.

That’s the way it’s been for a while now. He checks if anyone needs help, then if there’s nobody to help, he moves on. He’s not sure anymore if it’s his programming running that or himself, and he tells himself it doesn’t matter as long as he’s helping. But does it matter? Does it? He feels like it should does he want to help or does he want to kill what does he want WHAT DOES HE—

It’s fine, really. He’s got a pretty decent life. He’s looking over the people in the town, gauging if they need his assistance, and decides they don’t. And then he decides to stay anyways.

He’s a free man, he thinks. He can do whatever if wants, and if that thing happens to be staying in a town an extra day, he’s okay with indulging himself. That’s why he checks in at the local bar, asking for a room upstairs for a night and hopefully a good drink before he excuses himself.

—

The establishment is surprisingly classy, considering its squalid appearance, and the proprietor of the place walks right over to him to ask him what he needs. “Just a place to be staying the night and a drink, perhaps,” he says.

Flashing a grin, the bartender whirls around to a nearby waitress— “Sam! Get this man a bed!”—and gestures him to sit down at a stool to wait. The waitress gives a thumbs up, and heads up a rickety set of stairs to presumably prepare his room. “So, what brings you here?”

Biffa’s not quite sure how to respond. The bartender’s friendly manner is throwing him off, and he’s not sure how to respond to someone this open and welcoming. Nevertheless, he opens his mouth, and says, “Just here to check out the place and maybe help out where I can. Nothing too special.”

“I see! A noble quest, indeed.” The bartender turns with a hum to top off someone’s glass. “Got a name?”

His head spins for half a second, what’s my name what should I tell this man before he croaks out, “Biffa is fine.” He’s not sure if it is, to be honest, but it’ll have to do. The little number engraved onto his back says B1FF7, but he supposes it’s uncommon enough that it shouldn’t matter.

“A fine name, that!” He highly doubts the man is paying attention. “Now, if you’ll excuse me—” And he spins away again, a burst of color and sound gone as quickly as he came. Biffa just sips his dubious alcohol and stays silent at the bar.

—

He’s not intoxicated, he thinks. He kind of can’t really be. But the alcohol is a nice burn.

A nice burn, yes, but not enough to overpower the discomfort of having an obviously drunk-looking man slurring to him, “Less go. Less have a fight. Right now. Just a littllllllleeeee spar. Heard you’re good. Wanna see how.” It’s an uncomfortable situation to be in, and he’s not quite sure how the word traveled that he’s not half bad with the sword tucked in next to him, but he’s definitely not drunk enough for this.

“I’ll have to politely refuse, sir, you’re in no position—” The drunk man steps a weaving step closer.

“Didn’t ask whether you wanted to. Come on.” He’s surprisingly strong, considering his level of intoxication, and Biffa lets himself be dragged out to a clearing in the woods behind the bar out of curiosity. He’s wondering where this will go, and most importantly, if this means he’ll get kicked out of the bar.

What he’s not expecting is for the stranger’s eyes to sharpen and for him to be pinned up against the wide oak tree nearby. “What—” He manages to gasp out, but his attacker cuts him off with a laugh.

“Wondering what’s going on, huh?” The stranger does something odd with a wand, and suddenly Biffa can’t move. He’s stuck and he can’t move and wow, this really is his worst nightmare.

“Well, I’ll explain! See, I’ve been wondering: what the fuck are you?” The clearing rings with a bright, derisive laugh. “You talked with the bartender like you were human but you’re not, you know?” Fuck. He’d been so careful, he’d moved like a human and said all the right things and let his chest rise and fall regularly like he was supposed to and everything but this man still noticed.

“Gh—” He’s choking out words, but he knows he’s not really in danger. He thinks they both know that.

“Oh, no, you don’t get to talk, darling! I’m the one who’s doing the talking, and I just want to ask a little bit of a question.” Biffa’s not ready for this. He’s not going to ever be ready. “Why do you pretend that you’re human? What makes you even try, you know?”

“You’re just a series of ones and zeroes, right? Just some code running?” The man raps his knuckles on his chest, and they both hear a hollow sound split the air. “Ha. You see! Nothing under there but some wires. Nothing real.”

His face burns. It can’t burn, but it does all the same. He doesn’t know why. “Why do your kind even pretend to be human? It fucking pisses me off. Pisses me off so hard.” The man’s voice is growing biting. It cuts through the night air. “You fucking—you go and fucking kill mothers and sisters and people that others care about and don’t even flinch while you do it and then you waltz around like everything’s fine, like you’re just another human, you fucking—”

He cuts himself off abruptly, and shifts into another dangerous grin. “Oh, but you’re special, huh? You think you’re real? You think you’re fucking somebody, because you made yourself a face and stole some hair and have on human clothes that weren’t fucking made for a fucking robot, right?” He’s hit the nail on the head, and Biffa knows that he knows it when he flinches and the man’s teeth show even more.

“Oh, what’s wrong? Hit a nerve?” He can’t handle this, he doesn’t want to deal with this ever. “Can’t handle that someone finally saw through your charade?” He’s going to ignore this man. He’s going to ignore him and soon he’ll get tired and leave and then he can— “Are you upset that someone else knows? Sees that pretty porcelain face of yours and knows it’s not real?” —and oh my god he’s pulled out a knife. He’s pulled out a knife and now he’s running it under the cracks on his face and Biffa’s pretty sure this is what fear is.

“Ooh, I bet this hurts, huh? Or, rather, it hurts because it doesn’t! Does it hurt to know that none of this hurts? Because you’re not fucking real?” The man twists the knife a bit, and a little bit of the porcelain chips off. He’d worked so hard on painting that, making it as close as he could get to a real person, he’d used up so much paint and tried so many times and now it was ruined, why was his chest tightening when it couldn’t tighten in the first place,—

“What a great reaction!” His voice is so bright, it’s saccharine sweet and it’s too hard to tune out. Biffa’s head is overloading and he can’t handle seeing the little flakes of paint and delicate china scattered on the ground like it’s blood, but his body won’t let him shut down why can’t he shut down.

After what seems like an eternity, the man leans back to survey his handiwork. “Beautiful!” He suddenly, briefly, and desperately hopes that it’s over, and the man dashes his hopes in the next sentence. “Now…let’s reveal what you really are, huh? Show the entire fucking world what kind of fucking faker you are?” No, he can’t, he can’t, he can’t handle any more of this shit.

And yet, he does. He endures through the man chipping his face paint off, ruining his hard work. He endures his hair being chopped off, unevenly, the strands drifting to the floor like autumn leaves. He endures his clothes (the first piece of personal items he’d had, taken away, snatched away from the air by some kind of cruel beast and he pretends he doesn’t care but god he does) being slashed beyond recognition, until they’re hanging off of him in a way that makes him look like a goddamn zombie.

“There. Now, go back to the bar! Ask for a room! See just how friendly they really are, won’t you? Tell them, B 1 F F 7,” the man says, carefully enunciating every single syllable of his name. He jolts. Nobody should know that. Nobody should ever know that, shouldn’t know, shouldn’t ever know.

“Oh, how do I know that?” His words are dripping with excitement, but his eyes. Those eyes are the eyes of someone who would do whatever they need to do. The man’s voice drops to a deadly whisper. “Because I saw you. I saw your fucking back, turned, as you slaughtered my fucking mother in cold blood. I saw you walk away like it was nothing, as I cried under the bed and begged for a world where robots like you didn’t exist and my parents could be happy. I wanted more than anything to just live happily, and you TOOK THAT FROM ME!” He’s yelling now. Biffa registers it in his head as nothing more than a sensory input. He’s starting to numb a little. “And now you waltz back, pretending to be human like nothing’s wrong. Why do you deserve a human life? Why did you steal my mother’s life, hm? You’re just a bundle of wires walking around in a human suit, does it feel fucking good to live that way?”

No, no it doesn’t, this can’t be happening.

“I hope you know exactly what you are. Know your fucking place, you fucking bundle of code. You’ll never be real.” The man’s cooling off. Maybe. He can’t tell anymore. “Let’s drive that thought home, shall we?” Nope. Nevermind. He definitely hasn’t.

The knife scores a thin line along his metal plates. It leaves a trail of sparks in its wake. It pries open his control panel. He can see the wires, can see the switches and the—the everything inside, he can see the code flowing through his veins and he can’t tell what he’s thinking and what the code’s thinking for him anymore.

“Hope that’s enough for you to know,” the man steps to the edge of the clearing with a manic grin. “To know that you’re such a fucking fake replica of a human that even I could spot you. That you’re a fucking joke. You can’t change your nature, B 1 F F 7.”

The man steps behind a tree, the robot hears him yell, ���Adieu!” and he falls to the ground.

He’s not real. He’s not real, he’s just a fake copy of something real and he’s stealing a human life from the public and he’s just an imitator of something he’ll never be. It doesn’t hurt, that’s just false information feeding through to his processors. He’s not crying, it’s just outside moisture. Robots can’t cry. Robots can’t feel.

He’s not real, he tried so hard to convince himself he was but he’s not real he’s not real and it hurts so bad no it doesn’t it doesn’t hurt he can’t tell if it hurts or not

He’s going to fragment into what he’s supposed to be, lines of code, and he can feel the functions trying to run and the statements conflicting and he wants it all to stop, he’s tried to pretend for so long that he’s a real person and people think he’s real but nobody would be fooled by that.

The grass under his knees is soft. Is it soft? He can’t tell. He doesn’t deserve to feel things anymore, or maybe he never did in the first place.

He wants to feel but he can’t feel, he can’t want anymore, he could never “want” in the first place, why does it hurt it can’t hurt he can’t tell what’s going on and everything’s much too much—

Processor Overload. Shutdown Imminent.

He just wanted to be real.

Shutdown Occuring in 3…

He wanted to be able to do things just because.  

2…

He wanted to be able to want.

1…

He wanted—he wanted—

Shutting Down.

He wished he was real.

Program Corrupted. Restart?

(  ) YES         (  ) NO

. . .

(X) NO