#heard it is a fun romp?? >“3

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Jamil Viper - Nightmare Suit Voice Lines

Everybody's waiting for the next surprise. In this town, try not to jump out of your skin. (Zero: Bark, bark, bark!)

Summon: This is Halloween! It doesn't matter where we are, it seems what we all have in common is that we want to celebrate and have fun on Halloween.

Groovification: Hahah, I can hear the screams echoing all across town. This ended up being a fantastic Halloween. (Zero: Bark, bark!)

Home: I'll be as gentlemanly as I can.

Swap Looks: Zero, don't romp around too much (Zero: Bark!)

Home Transition 1: As I listen to the sound of the fountain in the town square, I'm reminded of Scarabia. That is... as long as I don't look too carefully at the color of the water.

Home Transition 2: I was thinking this suit was surprisingly comfortable and as it turns out, each individual material making up this outfit seems to be of high-quality. It's rather extravagant...

Home Transition 3: I thought I heard a cat crying, but I soon learned it was the town alarm system... It gives off a bit of an intimidating feeling.

Home Transition - Login 1: There's werewolves, vampires, and other creatures I've never witnessed before... Who would have ever thought there'd be a strange world like this!

Home Transition - Login 2 (Swap Looks): Do you want to go for a walk? I'll go with you. This town under the moonlit sky is actually really beautiful. (Zero: Bark, bark!)

Home Transition - Groovy: I'm surprised you're fine after all those scares. You must really be thick-skinned... Hey, don't get mad, it's a compliment.

Home Tap 1: I see the sconces in the town hall were designed to look like snakes. I rather liked them. Maybe I should look for something similar one of these days.

Home Tap 2: Looks as though Jack-san's got pretty nimble fingers. Did you see how perfectly he made that card tower...? I wonder who would be more dexterous: him or Ace?

Home Tap 3: While Trey was trying to make some snacks, the pumpkin he started to cut started to move... Heh, I never thought I'd ever seen him of all people startle like that.

Home Tap 4: The cuisine here is just as bizarre ―ah, ahem, I mean... unique― as the townsfolk. I rather enjoyed talking about cooking with Sally-san.

Home Tap 5: It seems Malleus-senpai has taken to strolling around Halloween Town. The word is that he's searching for gargoyles, but I'm sure that's not the case.

Home Tap - Groovy: The Mayor and I are similar? How...? Because we're both two-faced? Heh, you sure don't pull your punches anymore.

Duo: [JAMIL]: We'll have them trembling with fear, Riddle. [RIDDLE]: I am fully prepared, Jamil.

Requested by @farfalla049.

[thevoidscreams]

i feel super shy asking but its been in my head for like, days now and the worms are settling in, could i request titus and leandros competing to see who can get their shared serf pregnant first? >//w//<

Love this. I need both of these men carnally. (Chairon as well if anyone wants to put forth a request for him :3...please) Also, this isn't going to just be a fun horny romp. There's more to this one.

Warnings: Ranked Competitive sex (the opposite of casual sex), minor objectification, semi public sex, jealousy, breeding, power imbalance, voyeurism (Maybe), clearly neither one of these men has ever heard of boundaries

Word count:3795

You weren't there when your two astartes had agreed on the challenge, they hadn't discussed it with you either. In fact you feared you may not have ever known about it if Chairon hadn't come to you that very day and told you what the two had agreed to. You could only shake your head after you heard, giving him a sigh. "I'm sure I'll be okay Chai, but I appreciate the heads up." His concern had been evident but he allowed you to make the call. Assuring that if you needed help you could go to him and he would do what he could to temper his brothers. Or act as a buffer to them, he had things that required the aid of a serf as well. Chairon had never been sexual towards you, never even expressed that kind of interest so you knew that being around him would provide some solace from what was likely to be a lot of sex. Oh if only you'd known then.

That first week after had been no more eventful than it ever was, you stole moments with both Titus and Gadriel, kissing and touching like you usually did. The problems began to arise when Gadriel had walked in on you and Titus about to proceed with some more involved affection, to put it lightly. The two had gotten into a bit of a verbal kerfuffle. Eventually Titus pulled rank on the younger astartes and had him go away. You'd spent the rest of that evening stuffed full of the lieutenant. His soft words felt more like a weighted blanket as he expressed his desires for you. Rutting into you until his balls were fully drained and he slept soundly with your smaller form wrapped up in his arms.

The morning after you were taken by Gadriel to 'help' him with menial tasks. Which you quickly understood was just his attempt to keep you for himself so he could bend you over frequently and have his way with you in dark corners around the ship. One of which was just a dim alcove that was barely deep enough for the both of you. And despite your concerns and protests he took you anyway.

"Gadriel, it's too open, someone will see." You gasped as he sheathed his cock into your warmth for the third time that day. "No one will come to check, not if you are quiet." He growled as he placed his hand over your mouth, your front pressed to the wall as he held you aloft to better spear you on his cock.

Over all it wasn't that you minded the sex, you loved the attention. But at some point it stopped being about the affection in the act. It became about being the one that had you. Like two brothers fighting over a favorite toy. They would bicker that the other had had you an unfair number of times, unbalancing the scales. They would then correct that with the others there to see and watch.

If you weren't in the hands of one, you were in the hands of the other.

You needed them to stop, to give you time to recuperate. But it never lasted long. And you were their shared serf. So even when you got time away, if they called for you, you were fetched to serve them.

It was after a particularly rough day that you'd gone to seek out Chairon for his offer.

You started out with Titus, then Gadriel got a hold of you and he could smell Titus on you. He'd laid you out over his cot and licked away the scent of his superior on your skin before replacing it with his own. The coupling had been quick but rough as Gadriel growled something incoherent about not letting him have the satisfaction.

You left his chambers and were called away to Titus again. And while the older astartes was more gentle in his methods usually, he'd asked about what Gadriel had done and you were honest. Titus took exception to that, rutting you into the bed to replace Gadriel's cum with his own fresh seed.

That cycle continued two more times each. By the end of the day you decided not to spend the night with either despite them requesting it. You went back to your own room, locked your door and passed out.

The morning after you were sore again. The water from your shower helped a minor amount but it wasn't enough to reach the ache deep within.You were meant to go to Titus after his mandatory training for the day. But you were just so tired.

Dressing in your robes you slunk from your quarters. It was a left turn to go towards Titus or Gadriel’s chambers. But instead you headed right.

Chairon's room wasn't very large or fancy, you'd been there before with Titus. Right now, you had no reason to be here, except that. You needed it. Chairon had been good to you, and he seemed to understand that what they had in mind for you would be more than what most people could handle. You requested to enter, hoping you'd caught him at a good time. "Enter." His firm voice came from the other side of the door. You did, carrying the stack of linens that you had used as cover to come to him. Chairon was out of his armor, garbed only in a robe. "Ah it is good to see you, I was worried when you made the resolution to stand on your own in this matter." You nodded and stepped forward, a hiss of discomfort breathed from between clenched teeth was his answer. He took the linens from your arms, laying them next to the copy of the codex that he'd been reading when you came in. He led you to his simple cot and you sat. The tweaks in your back had been getting worse as of late. But you could not go to the medicae for this matter, it was beyond taboo, the sort of relationship you had with Titus and Gadriel. It would have to be approved by the chapter master and chaplins, which they had not done yet given Titus’s past. "Are you well?" "Sore, my body has been used thoroughly these past weeks, my lord." Chairon growled and returned to his seat as he looked over your body. "You are a personal serf, if you are not attending duties it will be noticed." "I am aware, it is why I have not been able to rest as my body has required." "Have they hurt you?" "Not intentionally, no, but-" "Then they have, intentional or not, they have caused you harm." You stayed quiet for a long time, it hurt to admit. That your body was in pain due in part to two men who you loved and cared for deeply.

"Have you told them?" Chairon's voice was soft, he reached out to hold your hand in a gesture of comfort, as his mother had done for him so many years ago, when he was a small child on Calth. You shook your head. "I do not know how to bring this issue to their attention. When I try it feels so very wrong to do so. I was told that it is not my place to question the motive or demands of an astartes when I was first brought in to serve." "You must tell them, my brothers may be prideful and competitive, but they are not heartless, I know that hearing this from you would set them right."

Chairon, though you were not his serf, had taken a shine to you. It was why he'd been so keen to ensure you knew what his brothers had planned. And why his chest burned with anger now, looking you over. Bruises, new and old littered your skin as he checked to see if anything was permanent.

Nothing was from what he could tell, and he did not feel any breaks or fractures as he moved his hands over your bones, feeling them one by one.

"When was the last time you bled?" He asked quietly. You were taken by the question. How long has it been? Three weeks? You'd be due again soon. Or perhaps you wouldn't. Who knew? "I'll be due to bleed again soon." You told him. "We will see then, if my hard headed brothers have done as they set out to do." You nodded. "Do you think they truly care for me?" The question hurt to ask, but you didn't always understand how the minds of these trans-human titans worked. "If they did not care for you, they would not fight over your time and love so ferociously. But that does not also mean that they have not taken it to an unfair or unacceptable level." He assured you. Chairon knelt before you with a small cloth and patted your cheek, you took it to dry tears that had begun to fall without notice.

"You must tell them. But for today, I find I need the assistance of a serf." He smiled at you, genuine and kind. You reached out to hug him, he returned the gesture. "I will make certain that you have this day, at the very least, to rest." "Thank you." You smiled. He led you from his chamber and out into the wider ship, making sure you were not prevailed upon by any persons who were not himself or you.

By lunch you began to feel guilty even if physically you'd begun to feel better. Twice you had been summoned to your lords and twice you had ignored the call. Chairon stepped in when others came asking why you were not with Titus or Gadriel as you were recognizably their serf. "She has come to aid me today." His voice quelled any doubts. As no other baseline would dare question him, an ultramarine. The workload had been light, mostly sitting when he attended his own duties.

You followed him around till meal times where you'd depart and go to eat as he did. He'd found you after lunch and then after supper. "Are you feeling better?" "Physically, yes. I'd have found myself bent over and probably fucked half a dozen times by now if I hadn't spent the day with you."

Chairon sighed and shook his head. It was nearing the end of the day cycle and Chairon would have his five hours of mandatory rest time soon. As would you, Serfs needed to stay well to be able to serve so you were required to rest as well. Whether that would be in your room or one of theirs tonight remained to be seen.

Titus felt his frustration building as he sent for you again, Gadriel at his side was fresh from the showers and looked at his lieutenant. "Still nothing?" His voice was laced with worry. "Not a word, not even a written message." You weren't in the room you'd been assigned, nor any other place serfs normally congregated. It was gnawing at Titus and Gadriel alike. Has something happened? Were you avoiding them? That idea hurt as much as it enraged.

Titus walked with Gadriel right behind him, his eyes scanning the halls. A serf hurried past them and Titus called after him. "You, wait there." The serf came to a halt and turned his gaze up to see both astartes before averting his gaze. "What service may I be to my lords?" Titus thought for a moment then spoke. "The serf who serves Sargent Gadriel and I. You know her?" "Aye, my lords?" The serf was confused. "Have you seen her today? She did not attend us." He looked up at the two astartes and nodded. "Of course my lords, she was to aid the lord Chairon today, was she not?" Gadriel felt his chest burn at the words. "..Yes, you may go." He dismissed the smaller man who hurried away. "Why in the name of the emperor was she with Chairon today?" Gadriel hissed to his brother. "I do not know." Titus was more level headed than his brother but still a deep anger took hold of him. "We will find out."

You had decided to return to your own room. The walk took only about ten minutes.

In the morning you would talk to the two of them, to tell them that it was all a bit too much and you needed some time to recover more fully. That you'd know all along that they had a bet between them and that it needed to stop. You loved them both so deeply, you didn't want this to spiral out of control.

You didn't get the chance to make it into your room. Two looming figures came in from the back. Before you could react, large muscular arms closed around your waist and hoisted you into the air.

Titus held you as if he was afraid you'd evaporate if he let go. Despite your wiggling and insistence that he put you down, Titus held fast until you were secure in his room.

When the door shut you heard it lock and knew that you'd be making up for lost time. You didn't want that. You wanted to sleep.

Maybe it was the aches that still pulled at your body or maybe it was the frustration of being hauled around for the past few weeks and run through like a train tunnel, but you'd just about had enough.

"Put. Me. Down!" You growled and hauled back your fist. You let it fly, catching the astartes off guard. He dropped you and you landed on your already sore ass. "Throne damn it." You growled and pulled yourself to your feet. Well no was as good a time as any you supposed. "Stop doing that!" You hollered, rubbing your sore fist. A thin trickle of blood ran down from Titus's nose and he touched a finger to it, pulling it away to see that you had in fact made him bleed. You expected anger but instead he and Gadriel just looked shocked.

"What is the cause of this madness?" Gadriel huffed, looking at you as if you were the one that had lost their mind. And perhaps you had. "You were gone from us all day despite our calls, you ignored them, and when we inquired as to your whereabouts we learned that you neglected your duties to us to serve Chairon. Why? Why did you neglect your station? Do you wish to be punished for this dereliction of duty?" Gadriel hissed. Titus hated to admit it, but he was just as angry about this as his brother, but he was also rather impressed by the force of your punch.

"What I wanted was a break from the two of you." You returned, voice hot. What you were doing was beyond stupid, you had two marines between you and a locked door. Two marines who seemed rather upset with you. But you needed to say your piece.

"A break? So you were off getting some cock from Chairon? Is that it?" Gadriel was getting more and more furious with every second. "We weren't having sex Gad! I was doing my actual duties as a serf." He either didn't hear you or he didn't believe you. "Are we not fucking you enough? You need more, is that it?" "I need less!" You screamed. Your voice ringing off the walls with its volume. It was a good thing that the walls here were several feet thick on either side.

Gadriel's teeth audibly clenched as he planned to tear into you. Titus put his hand out to calm Gadriel. "Brother, stop, let her speak."

Titus fixed you with a much more composed gaze. Though he was still raw at the fact you'd chosen to spend the day with someone other than them, even someone they were close to. "Why?" It was all he asked but you were so tired, so, so tired. "Chairon told me about your challenge. The first day you agreed on the damned thing and he told me that if it became too much he would either act as a buffer for me, or that he would speak to you on my behalf. I thought he was worried for nothing, but it turns out he had every right to be concerned. You two have run through me like a bolt, I hurt everywhere, I have new bruises everyday. And ones that haven't even fully healed since this all started. I'm so tired and I hurt. I needed a break. I needed to rest. So I went to him, he had me serve him for the day, keeping me where he could make sure I was still performing my duties but could rest at the same time." Your tears burned with unshed tears.

Titus reached out to touch your cheek softly, his hands warm and gentle the way they used to be. Before all he was worried about was out matching his brother.

"Why didn't you bring this to our attention?" The lieutenant pressed. "I tried Demetrian. Neither of you seemed to get it. When I kept telling you I needed a break or that it was too much, it seemed like the words went into one ear and then out the other. It hurt waking up this morning, getting dressed and just doing my chores." You sat on Titus's cot, tears falling again for the second time that day. You curled into a ball. "It feels like you both care more about winning this stupid bet than you do about me. Like I'm just a game piece you're using to satisfy your egos."

The anger had seemed to drain from them at your words. Titus went to one knee in front of you. He looked up at Gadriel who seemed to realize just how bad you had had it over the course of their challenge. It was sobering to the men. They took their accelerated healing for granted, forgetting that it was a privilege not all humans had.

What they had done to you was so far beyond what was acceptable to do, pushing you to the point that you felt you needed to get away from them. Titus helped you lay down on your side, pulling a sheet over your body. "I cannot undo this mistake, but I am sorry. We both must be better in the future." Gadriel joined him, his fingers caressing your hair. "I am sorry." He breathed. Tears still leaked from your eyes. "I'm sorry for punching you." You spoke through shaky breaths. Titus grinned. "You have nothing to apologize for. It was deserved." You shook your head. "No, it wasn't, I did it out of anger and frustration. I did it to make you put me down because I was worried just shouting wouldn't make you. But I still hit you." Titus nodded, understanding that you hadn't wanted to hurt him, it made him feel even lower.

"How can we correct this? How can we make this right?" "I need rest. I think that is the thing I need most. Until all of my bruises have healed at the very least. I don't want to be intimate until I am feeling back to my normal self." "We can do this for you." Gadriel spoke up. His heart hurt but he knew for you it must be worse. You fell asleep shortly after and Gadriel turned to Titus. "We are monsters." "Not monsters, Gadriel, just selfish fools."

Chairon had been expecting the knock, and he nodded as his brothers entered. "Yes brothers?" What brings you at this late hour?" Titus spoke first. "We found her on the way back to her room." Chairon's jaw tightened. "Did you take her then? Make her pay for the lost time?"

"No." Gadriel stepped in his voice firm. "But we did speak with her." "And where is the girl now?" "Sleeping, she needed the rest." Titus informed him. Chairon nodded.

"So you know that she knows?" Cahiron questioned the Lieutenant. "Yes, we do now and we came to thank you." Chairon looked puzzled, it wasn't what he expected.

Titus began to explain. "We know that you took her today to give her a chance to begin healing. But I need to thank you for being there for her. You told us that the challenge was foolish, that it was not good for her. But we did not listen. If not for you, she might not have had the chance to get that need through our thick skulls and into our brains."

"You will be abandoning this quest then? This challenge?" Chairon pressed.

"Yes, if she wishes to still have our children after this it will be on her terms." Gadriel nodded. He and Titus had spoken on the way over.

"I know you two love her. But you will have to be more mindful of her limits. She will need you to hear her when she speaks, when she tells you that it's too much. I know she loves being your serf. She has said many times she feels it is an honor beyond her deserving. And if you still want her to be more than that, there needs to be respect both ways."

The two of them nodded in agreement. "Thank you for keeping an eye on her safety while we were being too blind to do so." Titus thanked his brother who stood and embraced him. "Of course. She is a good woman."

The morning came and Titus's warm body was the first thing you felt. You turned over in his arms and cuddled into his chest. "Good morning my love." He breathed quietly as you yawned. The warmth on your back through the evening had helped considerably. "Are you both here?" You mumbled.

"Good morning." Gadriel's hand reached over Titus to pet your hair. You settled back in. "You are to be on rest this week, after speaking to the apothecaries they believe it is best you come in for a screening." Titus explained. "They will tell you if the leave will be longer." You nodded, not wanting to get up yet. "As long as I have you both my astartes to help me I'll be better in no time." You sighed as Titus wrapped you up in his arms. "We'll always be here for you." He promised, and he meant it, even if they had a lot to improve on, they would be there being better for you every step of the way. So you could have the love you deserved and two men who deserved you.

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

How You Turn My Word; Chapter 2

The day continues, and this time you find yourself in an entire new world... a world called The Underground.

Character; Lilia Vanrouge

Content; Gender-neutral reader, more shenanigans, reader isn't happy

Content Warning; Intoxication (Lilia), swearing

Word Count; 2.7 K

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 |

Don't put my work into AI; I'll make sure you end up in the Bog of Eternal Stench.

Lilia’s night was not going according to plan and he was mentally cursing himself over it.

Thing Lilia did not plan for #1; he got lost. To be fair though, many a thing had drastically changed since the last time he romped around the mortal realm. A few hundred years would do that though. Humans now seemed to live in tall metal boxes rather than the humble cottages of ages past. 

Thing Lilia did not plan for #2; a red flower deceiving him and containing something akin to liquor. So he was flying around lost while under the influence, which only worsened his situation. (Lilia did not know it, but the red flower was in fact a hummingbird feeder with sugar water which had been left out in the sun for too long and had fermented. Make sure to change your hummingbird feeder often on hot days so you don’t cause a nectar-loving friend to fly while wasted) 

Thing Lilia did not plan for #3; getting himself stuff in one of those tall metal boxes, and he was now stuck inside some cursed metal labyrinth. At least it was not iron or silver, as it did not burn, apparently, humans no longer fortified their abodes with those metals. Perhaps the times have changed for the better?

But Lilia finally escaped the infernal metal labyrinth, perhaps luck was finally on his side tonight after all! He bumped around a few corners. My my, what a small hovel. Perhaps things have not changed all that much from the last time I was here… But Lilia was rudely pulled from his thoughts when something swatted him clean out of the air. And the culprit? A rather rotund grey cat with large blue eyes, which was now carrying Lilia into its lair, most likely to play with him for a bit before deciding that it had had it’s fun and ultimately put him out of his misery.

His night went from a jolly and somewhat embarrassing tale he would regale about at the local tavern, to a bedtime story parents would tell their children about the dangers of going places that you really shouldn’t. Should he get out of this sticky situation Lilia would not live this incident down. 

The cat placed Lilia in a collection of socks and then sauntered off, calling out at the top of its lungs. Great, it's getting company for supper, and I’m the appetizer. How lovely. But Lilia knew he would have a better chance of getting out of this situation if he stayed calm and waited for an opportunity to escape. Even while tipsy, he could keep his cool.

And the feline was back and yanked Lilia out of the sock hole. Cracking open his one eye he saw that the cat did not come back with its hungry friends, but rather, a human. That was both good news and bad news. Good news; he most likely was not going to be eaten tonight! Yippee! Bad news; the last time he was in bat-form in a human’s abode, he was chased around with a torch, which he really did not want to go through again. So his best course of action was to play dead in this situation.

When the human left the room though, he took his chance and took flight once again, trying to find a way out. The cat was trying to catch him again, but Lilia knew of its tricks this time and dodged every swipe it sent his way.

But he was pulled out of his thoughts when the human screeched at the cat, “YOU CAUGHT A FUCKING BAT?!” 

Oh yeah, they did not sound happy, not at all, but it seemed to be directed more at their feline companion rather than him.

As he was busy flapping around, trying to find an escape but to no avail, he also heard the human whispering to him. “Don’t fly towards my head, bat. I’m just trying to get you back outside. You’re a nice bat, right? Nice bat, nice bat.”

Were he not preoccupied and in a better state of mind, Lilia would have been amused by this. Currently, though he was occupied with trying not to be eaten and finding a way out of this cursed place. He was not in a laughing mood. All Lilia wanted to do was get back home, pass out in his bed but he would also be happy with his sofa as well, and pretend that this was nothing more than a bad dream after a night spent tavern hopping. Dealing with a horrid hangover would be better than this… and he was most likely going to have one of those anyways. Tonight really wasn’t Lilia’s night, not at all.

Then the human grabbed the cat, and Lilia was finally left alone. The window was open, but he didn’t know that, as his mind was too preoccupied with you know, not dying, that he hadn’t noticed that the human had opened it for him. So where did Lilia go? Well, he went back into the metal labyrinth (air duct), and fumbled around until he tired himself out. It wasn’t the most ideal of spots to crash for the night, but it was better than going back and possibly being eaten, Lilia would rather avoid that. So this was going to be his bed for the night, a lonely quiet corner of the air duct system, where he could hopefully wake up sober tomorrow. But he yearned for his warm quilts that awaited for him back at home, back in Faerie, or as some call it, the Underground.

Lilia wasn’t even supposed to be in the mortal realm in the first place, but curiosity had won him over, and he even ignored the travel advisory that was in place. Some crow fae had travelled there about a century or so ago and had yet to return back, hence a travel advisory. But yet here he was in the mortal realm, tiny, drunk, and utterly lost. His bad decisions could be looked into further detail once he got some shut-eye. So he wrapped himself in his wings and passed out in the corner of the air vent. Hopefully, when he woke up he could turn this disastrous day around.

…

Upon waking up, Lilia groaned — or rather, in this case, squeaked — and stretched his wings out. So the wretched metal maze and last night's fiasco was not some liquor-hazed dream; how lovely. Utterly delightful.

At least the strange maze echoed sound quite well, so he knew what exits to avoid. Not that one, he could hear a dog barking, and the feline encounter was enough for him. No, not that one either, he could hear children screaming.

Finally, he came to an opening, there was some quiet chatter, but it was far enough away where Lilia felt comfortable enough to explore this potential escape route. 

Why does this look familiar? AM I BACK IN THE BUILDING?! Yes, yes he was. At least there was no sign of the ca–

“Mrp?” Speak of the devil.

The cat got out of its den and lept at Lilia, who dodged the attack, and the cat pushed some books off a desk. The cat was also screaming at him, and causing an all-around ruckus. Lilia managed to outmaneuver the feline, but soon a brand new human came into the scene.

The new human took one look at Lilia and backpedalled out of the room. But the human had just created another escape route for him, and Lilia flew, well, like a bat straight out of hell for it. Too bad the next room contained two more humans, including the one he had encountered from last night… maybe they would be nice again and spare him for trespassing on their small abode?

In the midst of the chaos, the human from last night knocked him out of the air with a broom. Okay, that hurt little Beastie. But that swing and the crash landing into a table caused Lilia to shift back into his human form, which also caused sparkles to happen. Did humans still think magic was evil? Well, he was about to find out.

Everyone remained silent, and after the sheer noise of the chaos, it was deafening, even the cat was quiet. And Lilia stared at the human that had knocked him out of the air, you. And you were staring straight back at him, looking utterly baffled. Well, this is awkward… I think I have overstayed my welcome… 

Lilia snapped his fingers, and he started to disappear into sparkles yet again, this time going home since he wasn’t able to use his magic when stuck in bat form. And it was happening without a pinch, but you seemed to trip on thin air and crash landed on his feet, disappearing with him; a stowaway coming to Faerie. 

… Well this is no good now, is it?

…

…

…

 When the green sparkles subsided, you found yourself sitting in some sort of bog, and the water had made it into your mouth by some twist of fate. While you were busy spitting the bog water out of your mouth, the stranger was standing by the bank, dry, without any sulfuric-tasting water in his mouth, and looking better for wear.

Pulling yourself out of the bog water — eugh, you smelled like eggs now, great — you pointed an accusatory finger at him, water dripping from the end. “Where,” you spat out some extra bog water from your mouth, “am I? And why does it reak of eggs?!” You would have looked and sounded more imposing, but you were sopping wet, covered in mud, and spitting out coughs trying to get the bad taste out of your mouth; which wasn’t really commanding any sort of respect.

The stranger, Lilia, snorted before letting out a cough, trying to hide his amusement very poorly. He waved his hand, green sparkles surrounded you and you were now dry, still covered in mud, but dry. “Faerie, although some call it the Underground.”

You opened your mouth, but he wagged his finger at you. “And before you blame me for bringing you here, you have no one to blame for this but yourself!” Despite the cheeriness, there was something cold and off putting in his eyes, like he was calculating something. But that moment passed, and the almost annoying cheerful facade came back in full. “As for the smell? That so happens to be The Bog of Eternal Stench!”

“Like eternal eternal?” You really didn’t need to smell like rotten eggs for the rest of your days.

The stranger just chuckled, “Fret not, Beastie, I decided to return the favour, since your feline friend decided not to eat me. But it is indeed ‘eternal eternal’ if you don’t have the means to get rid of it.”

Beastie? “Uh, okay.” not the most eloquent of things to say, but really, could anyone blame you? You just fell through some kind of portal, magic(?) was real, and oh yeah, so were fae/faeries or whatever the hell they called themselves. So ‘Uh, okay’ was perfectly fine in this situation.

Mr. Sparkles — if he was going to call you Beastie, he deserved a dumb nickname — just gave you a smile, exposing the barest hint of his fangs; despite his small frame, he was still dangerous, and the hairs on the back of your neck stood on end. It was as if he was assessing you, to see if you would be worth the trouble to help. You didn’t know if either option would be good by the way his magenta eyes twinkled with mischief.

He let out a huff and started walking away, and you followed. “I wouldn’t recommend following me, Beastie,” he hummed, and you tripped over a rock, vines keeping you to the moss. “The court would not take kindly to you.” 

You glared at him and tried ripping the vines off of your feet, but they didn’t budge. “And why should I listen to you?” 

Mr. Sparkles booped you on the nose, “Well, it would ensure that you made it out of here alive, which I believe you would find beneficial and all.” 

Obnoxious prick. But he did have a point, you would rather make it back home alive rather than fucking around and finding out (aka dying). “So what? Are you going to just leave me here? No welcome brochure? Thanks.” 

You were being sarcastic, since it was either sarcasm or having a full-on existential crisis, since hey, magic wasn’t real in your world! Dimension? Galaxy? Where the fuck was this place?! How the hell did you end up here?!

“Hmm good point…” he snapped his fingers and there was now a book sitting in your lap. “This should suffice, do be warned though, Beastie, I may call on you later to return the favour. For now though,” he started to turn into green sparkles, “toodaloo!~” And he turned into a bat, flying off into the sunset, leaving you alone at the edge of the swamp with the only things to your name being the clothes on your back and a book in your lap.

How to Survive the Underground; For Humans! … Did he just give you this world’s equivalent of a For Dummies book? What the fuck? Was this kind of sick joke to him?

…

…

Once some of your ire had subsided, you decided to sit down on a boulder and read a bit of the book while there was still some sunlight out, but it was dipping into the horizon fast.

How to Survive the Underground; For Humans! By Yelworc Erid Preface …… i - iv Chapter 1; Surviving Your First Night…… 1 - 10 Chapter 2; Edible Food for Humans …… 11 - 31 Chapter 3; The Basics of Fae Etiquette …… 32 - 35 3.1; Species Specifics …… 36 - 146 3.2; Government Specifics …… 147 - 169 Chapter 4; Help! I Have Been Indentured to a Fae! …… 170 - 200 Chapter 5; Adjusting to Fae Social Life …… 201 - 224 Chapter 6; Transmittable Illnesses & Diseases …… 225 - 261 Chapter 7; Fae Courting Practices …… 262 - 264 7.1; Species Specifications …… 265 - 366 7.2; Government Specifications …… 367 - 389 7.3; Accepting a Courting Proposal …… 390 - 393 7.4; Refusing a Courting Proposal …… 394 - 401 Chapter 8; How to Handle Fae Children …… 402 - 452 Chapter 9; How to Leave the Underground … 453 Chapter 10; Adjusting to Life in the Underground …… 454 - 482 Acknowledgments …… 483 - 485

Looking back up to the horizon, you quickly turned the pages to Chapter 1; Surviving Your First Night.

“If you are unable to find yourself some suitable shelter, one should find themselves safe by camping out in a rowan tree. These trees can easily be found by their vermillion clusters of berries. They keep away all native species of the Underground,” you read out loud, turning your attention to the trees nearby, searching for those berries. “Rowan tree, rowan tree–”

A loud screech coming from the undergrowth only pushed you further. 

Nope, I do not want to find out what THAT was! Nope! NoPe! NOPE! 

Finally, you found a tall enough tree and you hauled your ass up it like there was a fire below you, and you were up in the canopy, far enough up that nothing could reach you, but also high enough where you needed to be careful, since you didn’t want to meet an early death because you made a wrong move. But for now, you were safe.

“Nice try buddy,” you muttered to yourself, trying to get comfy. Wood wasn’t the comfiest thing in the world, but you weren’t really in the position to be complaining. “I am not on the menu.”

The screech came again, this time closer; yeah, you weren’t sleeping tonight. The sun was now beyond the horizon, and there was no moon, the only light coming from the stars above; it was very pretty, but you could see jack shit. This was going to be a long night… and not a fun one, since you could also see the glowing eyes of unknown creatures which were, quite frankly, freaky as fuck. So yeah, no sleep for you.

“This fucking sucks,” you grumbled, and a chittering from the bog seemed to mock you. “This really fucking sucks.”

…

…

…

…

Tags; @busycloudy, @eynnwwyjth, @identity-theft-101, @ithseem, @krenenbaker, @lucid-stories, @ryker-writes, @twistwonderlanddevotee, @xxoomiii

~~~~~~~

Author's Note; This chapter is shorter, but it felt natural to end the chapter like this. This chapter, and the previous one, were both rewrites of an old WIP, so from here on out I don't have to rewrite! YIPPEE!!! Rewriting takes me forever, so we shall see what I come up with next.

If you liked this, do check out my masterlist for more content!

[vitaminseetarot]

PAC: An Exchange For Your Desire 🦇🔮

Hey y'all, I'm back for another reading on this night of Halloween. Hope you're having a whimsical fun night. This PAC is inspired by recently watching Hocus Pocus 2. It was a pretty fun romp which made some good callbacks to the original.

I won't explain why the title relates to the movie to not spoil it, but I wanted to dive into a darker reading for this season. To acquire what you want, something must be exchanged. For this reading, we'll be exchanging away fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs for what aligns with our ideal life. But what will it be for you?

Pile 1 - Red, Candle 💓🔥 Pile 2 - Green, Cat 💚🐱‍🐉 Pile 3 - Purple, Book 💜📖

Pile 1 - Red, Candle 💓🔥

Temperance, Eight of Pentacles, Three of Pentacles; Tiger; Radiant; "the infinite ocean of ideas we're all allowed to swim in"; 12 - Let it Out! Dare to be Heard. In Your Darkness & Your Light.

Hey there, pile 1. There's something glittery and warm about your reading. Bright, excited, festive. You may be artistic in nature, or you've been feeling an extra bout of creative inspiration lately. You have so many rich avenues to explore, I feel more than one thing may be calling you (like pursuing jewelry making and crocheting) or you are skilled in many areas. You might have one idea that stands out and shines more brightly than the others. Yet while you yearn to reach for it and claim it as yours, a strange force pulls you back. The fog whispers that you have to be even-keeled, fold back, and not reveal too much of yourself. But this idea might be taking you down a path uncharted, where no one can easily hold your hand to guide you with advice. It may be completely against an agreed code or standard. I'm hearing possibly provocative, your work could stir up energies that would rather stay sheltered and dormant. It may feel overwhelming to even think of committing to the concept.

Perhaps you've been given word over the years that it's better to always be modest about your work. It could be that you were taught to always protect your ideas and concepts from outside influence. Maybe even that it's important to listen to others' advice when it came to analyzing your creative vision, that your work should please the masses. These things, in and of themselves, are not necessarily bad. But when it mixes with guilt and imposter syndrome in the same cauldron, things are bound to erupt. The opulent tiger wants to remind you of your inner desire for positive recognition for your original creative ideas. It wants to back in radiance of a vision made clear, a job well done. But the fog mixing in the cool night air distorts your vision, presenting a hundred good ideas while telling you only one will work. Maybe not all of them will work, but out of the infinite pool you have access to, some are bound to be sure winners. It's all a matter of focusing one at a time while knowing that other drafts and concepts will be waiting for you in the wing.

I love this oracle card with the trumpet playing skeletons (doot), it's one of my favorites. It wishes to remind you that you don't have to be afraid to show your work to somebody you trust, as long as you're comfortable in sharing it with them. Something you have created may be eligible to be published somewhere, whether digital or in person. It could be anything from fanfiction to uploading a song online to showing your vase at an art gallery. If you wish for more creative expression and inspiration in your life, you must exchange your fear of letting your projects be seen by others. You must, with eight of pentacles, chip away at the marble by making drafts and scribbling and messing around with your artistic toolbox so that energy that properly flow. Each piece may take time, and that's okay. Needing to rush the process is part of the fear that must be released, as you cannot allow artistic vision to flow on somebody else's schedule. It's the rushing culture that's hurting animation studios nowadays, so I think there is something to slowing down during creation that's needed here. Let your magic shine on its own time.

Pile 2 - Green, Cat 💚🐱‍🐉

Page of Wands, 5 of Swords, VII Chariot; Tapir; Trillion; "Goodnight! also you didn't get enough done today", 58 - Like Ivy, We Grow Best Where There is Room For Us.

Hi, pile 2. Your energy is soft and supportive like a leaf holding a raindrop. Chill, relaxed, here to help others. For the most part, you don't really mind being in your comfort zone, playing to the beat of your own drum while the world around you raves in chaos from the outside. You've been convinced that as long as you play your part and get along, things will work themselves out. In your reading, though, I see a desire for an expansion. There is something in you craving freedom from some kind of restriction. I'm seeing a princess wanting to escape the castle to run into the woods, whether to run from the duties bestowed upon her or from quarrels fuming deep within the palace halls. A princess can be beautiful, kind, erudite, and brave, but it's not until she leaves the crumbling walls behind that the world can really behold those qualities.

You could be looking at the current circumstances and wondering if it's because you haven't applied enough effort or forethought into things that plans haven't worked out or things fell apart, rather than seeing the shaky foundation to start with. Applying a thin coat of paint can't stave off the rotting of wood forever, even if it's made to preserve. In other words, if things aren't working out, try to take a look at your surroundings. Does it support you, does it lift you up? Does it cradle you from harsh influences beyond? Or is it adding to the piling stress and suppressing room for play and adventure? Is it even taking advantage of your good, easygoing nature? Tiny patches aren't going to keep everything held up, and it's only adding to the weight that you desire to release and could lead to burn out. Storytime: I once had to withdraw from my most important class in school and do it over the summer because I knew no amount of shaving off sleep to study was going to make a difference in the grade. The class needed much more nurture and attention than I could give to it at the time. The busy environment just didn't support the studying because of a packed schedule. It ended up being a wise move that worked out, though it didn't seem like it would be that way at first. This is an anecdote but if it resonates with you academically, I would talk to an advisor to decide the best course of action.

The ivy breaking out of the grave shows that you have a free spirit which cannot be tamed down by the obligatory demands of society. There is a strong need to embrace your full authenticity here so to make the changes you want to see around you, and to walk away when your surroundings refuse to change. Like moving away from a noisy apartment because you're staying true to yourself when you say you can't sleep with so much noise. If no amount of communication with the roommates or neighbors will help, moving may be the next best option. You must exchange where you are now for where you want to be next, as you deserve to thrive in a setting that nourishes your mind and soul's unique potential. You must give up the ever-present order to be agreeable to those who disrupt your boundaries and personal peace if you wish to embrace more intellectual and creative freedom, or even just extra sleep at night.

Pile 3 - Purple, Book 💜📖

III Empress, Judgement, XVIII Moon; Hermit Crab; Fire; "i am brand new + teenager me + childhood me + baby me + source"; 61 - Each Morning We May Be Born Anew. What We Do Now is What Matters Most.

How's it going, pile 3? There is a quiet feminine energy to these cards. This pile could be getting in touch with their more magnetic traits, or doing traditionally gentle hobbies to relax. I'm imagining a spa with massage and saunas, where rewinding becomes an activity in itself. I'm seeing a powerful transitional phase here with three major arcana in a row, so it may explain bouts of tiredness and confusion. Being totally switched to On mode would cause firing from every cylinder at this point in time, like a stressed snake biting its tail. Wow, I'm even yawning and tearing up while typing this, so like pile 2 there is a strong emphasis to getting much needed rest. But for you, group 3, I think this rest is really necessary to heal critical parts of you that haven't had the chance to before, things that must be put back in place before you can move forward completely. You're in a phase of deep healing on a physical and emotional level.

When we wash, we shed away old skin, and it's shown here in the cards that this is happening incrementally. As you purge and release old memories and issues of the past, those parts of you will start to feel smaller as you grow and take on greater challenges. The grade school felt big and scary until you were in high school, which by then it felt small and quaint. Much in the way that people dream at night in order to reconfigure the mind, letting go of unwanted information and consolidating important details, this is how your healing process is taking place. It doesn't always feel great in the meantime, but the greater comfort comes from knowing that it's a necessary step. Whoever told you that taking baths was only for cleansing is wrong. It may be why people technically use baths, but taking a shower just to cry and let all the sticky emotions go down the drain is also a valid reason. Whoever told you that you needed to have a good time on your breaks is also wrong. If you're going through an emotional period, every minute spent to give the feelings room to breathe and speak out is worth it. It's like ghost hunting: not everyone understands it until they feel the calm in the air.

This is a delicate phase where you're getting back in touch with yourself again. Exchange away the need to worry about what others may think of your healing process. These things happen in cycles, which don't respond to "now and forever" commands to stop. You get to decide when you're ready to step out of hiding. The only emotion to let go of once and for all is the guilt carried from having so much to feel. It can be infuriating how society makes feeling grief or even moodiness into such a big deal, instead of giving the same compassion that's given to those who are physically unwell. You don't need this kind of guilt, even if it was pushed into your hands by those who can't even utter an apology themselves. Deep emotional restoration is available to you, as you're in a phase where you're transforming and letting baggage fall away to make room for powerful growth. Let the passion rise and fall and exchange the guilt of flying away from the sorrow inflicted upon you. You have a right to heal as you wish.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™

[coleslawr02]

No one asked or cares, but I’m answering every question from this 2018 Monkees Ask Game for personal archival.

1. First Monkees song you heard?

Last Train to Clarksville as a kid.

2. Favorite Monkees song?

Tapioca Tundra, Can You Dig It?, Pleasant Valley Sunday

3. Favorite Monkees album?

Lately Headquarters, but I listen to PAC&J more. Additionally, Missing Links Vol. 2, it features some some of their best songs in higher production quality.

4. Least favorite Monkees album?

Changes

5. Favorite Monkees album cover?

Visually: The Birds, The Bees, & The Monkees — I have some earrings based on it.

Conceptually: Head — The symbolism in removing their faces, color, & zaniness for a gray minimalist slate. Their name looping the border represents the films’ cyclical nature. Reflective material is a mirror because YOU ARE BOXED!

6. Least favorite Monkees album cover?

Missing Links Vol. 3

7. Favorite Monkee? Why?

Micky — Thoughtful & curious person, fun character, kind voice. But I think about all the monkees relatively equal.

8. Favorite solo work?

Does Dolenz Sings Nesmith count? It’s my best friend. Otherwise Tantamount to Treason & And The Hits Just Keep on Comin’. Rarely listen to Peter or Davy solo.

9. Favorite song title?

Propinquity or Early Morning Blues and Greens

10. Favorite lyrics?

“It’s amazing how time can so softly change your ways, and make you look at things that can’t be seen. How the years that roll by can start you listening, not just to what they say, but what they mean. […] our relationship has grown, not just in how it’s shaped, but how it’s shown.” — Carlisle Wheeling

11. Favorite photo of all four Monkees?

12. Guilty pleasure song?

I get embarrassed to admit Secret Heart & Shorty Blackwell.

13. Best Monkees song to sleep to?

Pillow Time — literally a lullaby.

14. Best Monkees song to dance to?

She Hangs Out — literally about dancing.

15. Best Monkees song to sing in the shower?

Salesman — “yep yep”

16. Best Monkees song for karaoke?

Goin’ Down — the best because it would be impossible.

17. A Monkees song you think is overrated?

Mary, Mary — always thought it didn’t deserve to be Mike’s most popular piece of songwriting.

18. Which Monkees albums do you own on vinyl?

N/A

19. Which Monkees albums do you own as CDs?

The “Original 5” Box Set + Dolenz Sings Nesmith.

20. A Monkees song that reminds you of a good memory?

Don’t have anything particular. Sometime in the Morning is generally nostalgic.

21. Favorite song with Davy on lead vocals?

You and I (Instant Replay) — Why did he write 2 totally different songs with the same title.

22. Favorite song with Micky on lead vocals?

Mommy & Daddy (alternate version) — Basing #21-24 off vocal performance, not overall song, that I haven’t listed yet.

23. Favorite song with Mike on lead vocals?

If I Ever Get to Saginaw Again

24. Favorite song with Peter on lead vocals?

Tear the Top Right Off My Head

25. Favorite episode of the series?

Personal Fave: The Chaperone

Best: The Devil & Peter Tork

26. Least favorite episode?

The 6 racist ones (Monkees Chow Mein in particular)

27. Favorite romp?

Gonna Buy Me a Dog :)

28. Favorite fourth-wall-breaking moment?

“If you get lost I’ll be a single— BA DUM” “Here I come…”

29. Favorite running gag?

Tall Guy Little Guy

30. Favorite Guest Appearance?

Lon Chaney Jr. or Julie Newmar

[liesmyth]

Books of the month!!!

(for the past 3 months) (forgot to do this for February and March so they're all here)

April

Bring Up the Bodies, Hilary Mantel — MORE blorbo Thomas Cromwell! Unreliable narrator tortured evil meow meow goes VROOM!! Genuinely hilarious on top of it. More thots. Fave read of 2024 so far. READ IT.

Dimenticare Berlinguer: La sinistra italiana e la tradizione comunista, Miriam Mafai — Essays on Italian political history. Probably not relevant to tumblr's interests. Very relevant to mine.

Mademoiselle de Maupin, Théophile Gautier — Gender! 1835s epistolary novel with Gender and crossdressing and musings on the value of Beauty! I loved this but it's rambly in a period-typical way. The Italian translation has very witty pretty prose; no idea about the original French, but I've heard the English translation isn't great.

The Angel of Indian Lake, Stephen Graham Jones — Third book of a trilogy. Do rec only if you love Jade Daniels as much as I do. Otherwise, it might get a bit confusing. I DO enthusiastically rec the first book in the trilogy, My Heart Is a Chainsaw, so you will all come to love Jade Daniels as much as I do. You're welcome.

The Manicurist's Daughter, Susan Lieu — A memoir about grief and families and the immigrant experience (Vietnam to west coast US). It's not usually my wheelhouse but I appreciated so many things about it, especially because of the audiobook version. Nonspoilery goodreads review here.

March

Bride, Ali Hazelwood — I don't like werewolf tropes enough to have enjoyed this. Fun romp if you like mates and knots.

We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed with Our Families, Philip Gourevitch — Nonfiction; a partial account of the Rwandan genocide. (I say partial bc I think it lacks context if you, like me, don't know much about the topic going in.) Very poignant, unfortunately remains relevant; do NOT go for the audiobook version because it's dull as dirt.

Wolf Hall, Hilary Mantel — The book that blorbifies Thomas Cromwell and it's also laugh-out-loud funny. Do yourself a favour and read it.

February

Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronthe — somehow I'd never actually read this in English before? Absolute banger. The first half remains superior.

American Elsewhere, Robert Jackson Bennett — I have screamed about this on tumblr before. COSMIC HORRORS TAKE OVER NEW MEXICO TOWN! Do rec.

Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier — Amazing incredibly showstopping etc.

Clarkesworld, Issue 209 — Love me some cool sff short stories. Standouts: Lonely Ghosts (Meghan Feldman); The Enceladus South Pole Base Named after V.I. Lenin (Zohar Jacobs); Why Don't We Just Kill the Kid In the Omelas Hole (Isabel J Kim)

january books || let's be goodreads friends! here

[void-ink-studios]

Oh Glob, He's Been Kidnapped

A silly romp through Ooo, with a touch of bitter sweet at the end. I hope you enjoy y'all!

A few sidenotes:

I've started picturing the Organizer's voice like Agent 47's handler, Diana Burnwood, in the new Hitman games. No idea why, just felt like it fit her.

Random thought that might end up as it's own post, but I find the idea funny if Scarab's species had no real concept of gender, and Scarab just accepted he/him pronouns because that's what everyone in the pantheon used for him and he just shrugged and accepted it.

Next time, as suggested by @scumbkat I think it's about time Scarab gained his own Nightmare aspect.

Fun fact, this was the instalment to push this series over 100 pages in the google doc.

Word Count: 2,500

Of all things Scarab had expected on this "field trip" (as Prismo put it) to the land of Ooo, this was not one of them.

Where in Glob's name did Prismo go?

Seriously, Scarab had turned his back for, like, maybe 10 seconds. And when he turned back, the human shaped mage Prismo was disguised as was just... up and gone.

At first he thought he had wondered off to another shop in market or something, but Scarab had scoured this place top to bottom at least 3 times, and no sign of the Wishmaster anywhere.

He climbed the tallest stall he could find, earning him some choice curses, and nothing.

It wasn't as if Scarab was nervous or anything. Prismo was a god. One of the most powerful in the multiverse. Just because he was currently human shaped did not make him as vulnerable as one.

But, well, this trip was kind of off the books. If Prismo got his body killed somewhere, they'd have the Organizer to answer to, and Scarab was not particularly looking for a scolding next time she visited for tea.

"Prism!" He called the fake name the Wishmaster had given himself, trying to shout over the chaotic crowd. "Prism, where did you go? We're supposed to be heading back soon! Prism!"

All that got him was annoyed looked from the people trying to pass by him.

Great.

"Hey, big knight dude" a voice called. Scarab momentarily forgot what he looked like, confused at this address. But, yes, he recalled now. He looked much more like a knight, his shell conveniently passing for armor with a bit more flair. He turned in search for the voice. "Over here, man!"

A human. Or, Scarab was pretty sure he was human, he looked enough like Prismo's body to be somewhat confident. He was tall, muscular, with a mess of blond hair spilling out the back of his hat. A mechanical arm waved him over.

Scarab shook off his frantic edges, striding over with an air of confidence.

"Yes, can I help you?"

"You need help, man? Heard to yelling for someone, and I saw you pacing around the place. What's going on?"

"Oh, I seem to have lost my traveling companion. I turned my back for a few seconds, and poof, gone."

"What's he look like?"

Scarab examined the human a little closer. Big smile, sword on the hip, an attitude similar to a happily suicidal puppy. Hmm.

"And how do I know you don't have something to do with his disappearance?"

"Nah man, I'm super good! I'm the hero in these parts."

Scarab decided that, if worst came to worst, he could take him.

"...I'll choose to believe you for now, hero. Short stature, brown skin, long curly gray hair and beard, most garish pink wizard robes possible? Enough jewelry to be mistaken for a treasure chest? Old?"

"Hmmm..."

"Hey, didn't we see someone like that walking around with those weirdo wizards" a new voice chimed in. Scarab's head snapped to the new comer, spotting a... dog? Rainicorn? Both? She didn't have discernable eyes, but very long almost platinum blond hair that had been fashioned into a hammock in the tree.

The hero thought for a second.

"Oh yeah, that's right Junior! Man, I knew those creeps were trouble!"

"You know these characters?"

"They're quick to sniff around anyone with a hint of magic junk" Junior supplied. "Tried cutting my hair for rainbow powers of whatever."

"What for?"

"We're not sure" the hero sighed. "They keep harassing wizards and stuff, but no one's really gone with them before. You guys new here?"

"You could say that, yes. We're passing through."

"Man, sorry about that. But, if they dragged your bud away, I think I know where they went!"

Scarab released a long-suffering sigh, rubbing his hand under his helmet.

"Glob, Prism, of course, of course you'd get yourself accidentally kidnapped the second I turn my back."

"You don't sound to worried" Junior said.

"I'm not. Prism is more than capable of taking care of himself. But, it is... inconvenient. He probably thinks this is an adventure or some nonsense."

"Hey man, anything can be an adventure! Even kidnappings. C'mon, we'll find him together. What's your name, stranger?"

"Ruby Knight is fine. And you?"

"I'm Finn! And this little lady is Jake Jr. but I just call her Junior."

Scarab was thankful for both his helmet and remarkable poise. If either failed him, he might've started choking on air.

Finn. This was... Prismo's Finn. He finally noticed the tattoo on his chest, a smiling dog cradled in forget-me-nots. Of course. Of course he'd happen to run into the one human Prismo might know.

And... Jake Jr. A daughter, most certainly. Did Prismo know? Most likely, Jake had to have told him if they were as close as he believed, but he made know indication of having ever met her.

Okay... Okay, this is fine, probably. And, it's not like he had much choice right now.

"A pleasure to meet you, Finn the hero. Let's go find my idiot wizard friend, shall we?"

"Alright, let's do this! Adventure time!"

And with that, the human went charging off in a direction through the market. Junior seemed unsurprised, casually standing up.

"We should probably try to keep up. Can't let him have all the fun to himself."

Scarab nodded, quickly catching up and keeping pace with Finn.

"Hey, dude, I don't see a lot of new knights around here! Which princess you work for?"

"None of them. Technically, I work for Prism, but I am my own agent."

"Ooooh, I remember meeting a few of those. They were jerks, way to into their own armor. One followed me around, like all day, trying to embarrass me. You seem cool though."

"A knight obsessed with armor is a lousy knight indeed. I've met a fair share who seem to think the weapons and costumes are replacements for skill."

"I know, right? I got skills though, skills to pay the bills. At least, that's what Marcy and PB say."

Scarab found himself relaxing at least a little bit as he followed this human hero.

"...How you know your buddy would be fine? You sounded really sure about it."

"He's one of the best mages I've ever met. He is more than capable of helping himself if he feels his in actual danger. Problem is he is very bad at telling what is and isn't dangerous."

"Man, that sounds like me. I once jumped into a dungeon without backup, got my ass kicked. By a cat. And another knight, the Bucket Knight. Scarier than he sounds."

Scarab didn't talk to mortals very often, but this he felt was a good one.

One of the fun ones.

--------------------------------------

"Ooooh, what's this do?"

Prismo, meanwhile, was having the time of his life. When three dudes in black cloaks put an arm around his shoulder and offered magic beyond belief, well, he was hooked.

No, Prismo was not an idiot. Everything in there was very clearly cursed, destined to attach or leech or possess the user the second they walked out of the spooky tent with it.

But, no harm if he didn't leave with it.

"That, sir, will amplify your powers into a brilliant burst. You'd be untouchable."

Prismo could tell the goons were getting impatient. He knew he looked like a fat, easy target with his jewelry and demeanor, but he was much trickier than most assumed.

Money's paws were fun, after all.

He could hear them whisper.

"He gonna buy anything or just waste our time?"

"Patience, brother. We'll have him soon enough."

"Can't we just stab him and be done with it?"

"Quiet!"

Prismo chuckled to himself, standing up straight. Scarab had probably noticed he was gone by now, he should probably go back before he split his shell.

"Well guys, this was nice, but I think I should be going now. Lots of neat stuff you got here, but I don't think I'm interested."

He turned with a big smile to see three hooded goons who looked like they wanted to rip him apart.

"...Now?"

"Now."

Two of them surged forward to hold Prismo's wrists, dragging him to a very fancy looking chair.

"Woah, friends, what's the harsh treatment for?"

"Oh shut up, old man. We listened to you prattle on about nonsense for the past hour! We're bleeding you dry of magic, with or without your cooperation!"

Prismo was suddenly very aware of a knife to his neck as he was strapped down.

"Fellas, fellas, you don't wanna do this" he crooned.

"Oh, trust me, it's no trouble, you doddering old fool. It's our pleasure."

"No, no, that's not what I mean. My bud, he's probably looking for me. Not the kind of guy you want to get on the bad side. So just let me go and we pretend none of this ever happened, right?"

"We're not scared of some over dressed, pompous knight! We're wizards, wizards rule fool! Kin, get the bowl, it's gonna get messy."

Prismo rolled his eyes.

Well, this went poorly quickly. He was not gonna hear the end of this when Scarab showed up.

"Yeah, wizards rule, but guys, I'm telling ya, he's not someone you underestimate. I keep him around for a reason, you know?"

"Oh just shut up already! Whatever pitiful little magic you've got won't be worth more than you finally shutting up!"

"Wow, harsh dude."

There was a cold blade against his neck again, making him squeak a little. Okay, he might have to break himself out of this one...

"Uh, guys-"

BANG

There was a loud, grinding bang outside the tent, a yell, and suddenly light.

Everyone groaned at the sudden harsh light, but Prismo smiled at the glittering red armor.

"Prism! You Glob forsaken idiot, you better be here!"

"Ruby, hun, I seem to be in a bit of a pickle."

Prismo giggled a little at the utterly exhausted groan Scarab let out. There was a scream, a warm splatter, and a thud. The knife wasn't on his neck anymore, now kicked far away across the floor.

"Man, this is some serious dark junk." Prismo's eyes widened. He craned his neck, spotting the long blond hair and robotic arm. Oh Glob.

"These are definitely cursed, Finn. Like, the aura in here is toxic."

Jake Jr....

Oh Glob dammit. Don't cry, don't cry...

"Prism, dear, are you okay?"

Prismo blinked, trying to shake away the tears, smiling at Scarab's helmet covered face.

"Yeah, I'm okay, no biggie!"

He felt the straps around his wrists loosen, then him get tugged into Scarab's chest.

"I'm okay, I'm okay Ruby, promise. Sorry for wandering off, I know I'm not gonna hear the end of this, I know..."

Finn seemed to stop moving, slowly turning his head toward Prismo.

"Wait a second..."

Prismo took a deep breath, slowly emerging from Scarab's chest to face him.

"Oh my Glob..."

Prismo expected a lot of things could potentially happen. Yelling about being in Ooo, maybe anger for not being able to bring Jake back, maybe even annoyance for having to save him again.

But he did not expect a hug. A big bear one, that lifted him off the ground, feet dangling an undignified foot and a half off the grass.

"PRISMO!"

Finn laughed as he swung the Wishmaster around, now hugging back both out of respect for the hug, and to not go flying if the human's grip slipped.

"Wait, is that... like Prismo Prismo? As in Prismo the Almighty Wishmaster that dad kept gushing over, that Prismo?"

"The one and only! Man, I didn't know you could leave the Time Room! I'd have invited you on adventures a long time ago!"

"This is a new thing, first time on Ooo, I promise. Finn, you're kind of crushing my ribs here."

Finn carried him outside before finally placing him back on his feet.

"Prism, hm?"

"We didn't wanna attract too much attention. So, disguises!"

"So, wait, then who's that" Junior asked, pointing her thumb toward Scarab. "Is this guy some poor schmuck you hired, or something else?"

Prismo collected himself a moment before holding Scarab's hand in his own. "This is Scarab. He's a coworker of mine and... well, my partner." He placed a soft kiss on one of Scarab's knuckles.

"And you're lucky for it" Scarab sighed. "Who else would I run halfway across a city for?"

"Oh, rad, good for you, man. I know we haven't talked much since... well, we haven't talked much. But, y'know, it's good to see you okay and stuff. And that you've got someone looking out for you."

Junior seemed to be deep in thought for a moment, before she strolled up and tapped Prismo's shoulder.

"I'm uh... I'm Jake Junior." She extended her hand in an offer to shake. "Dad... Dad liked talking about you. It's nice to meet you."

Prismo's smile wobbled, but it was wide. He tried to rub the tears from his eyes, but soon gave up and accepted the hand shake.

"It's nice to finally meet you too. Jake... Man, every other sentence was him bragging about one of you. He really loved you guys a lot."

Junior had a sad smile on her face, nervously rubbing the back of her head.

"Pris, now that I know you can come here, we gotta go on a proper adventure sometime, yeah? And, like, a proper one, not one where you just get kidnapped but some shifty wizard dudes."

"Seriously, they're like, the shiftiest guys I've ever seen and you just... went along with them? No questions asked?"

Prismo giggled nervously as he felt everyone's mildly judgmental stare on him.

"I don't know, it just looked... interesting. Not like they could actually hurt me or anything."

"That might be the case, but if you got discorporated, you would get to me the one to explain to the Organizer why we were walking around with unauthorized bodies."

"Hey, you didn't need to come with me!"

"Clearly, I did."

Prismo groaned, half embarrassed, half strangely happy at the day's turn of events.

He looked at Finn, and noticed the same sad smile Scarab often described the Wishmaster having. "Hey, Finn? If you... wanna hang out, in the Time Room, I can give you my number, or something... I'd like to see you. Same to you, Junior. You and any of your siblings are welcome to the domain of the Almighty Prismo."

Finn slapped him on the back, firmly gripping his shoulder.

"C'mon. Let's head to the Candy Kingdom, there's a bar, drinks are on me."

The two gods walked behind the mortals. Prismo could feel Scarab looking at him, a question trying to push past his mandibles. The Wishmaster didn't answer. He opted instead to tuck his hand into Scarab's and walk in comfortable silence, listening to these two mortals talk.

Maybe things would continue to be better.

Maybe Prismo's heart could take this.

[youngerfrankenstein]

Ranking the I, Robot Stories

9. Escape!

One of the two stories that didn’t make the anthology I initially read and I can understand why. It’s not a BAD story necessarily, but it’s not a particularly interesting puzzle or a particularly satisfying answer. A couple of fun scenes though. It’s just okay.

8. Catch That Rabbit

The other one I hadn’t read but I do think this one’s a better story with a better punchline. Don’t think I have that much to say about this one beyond I get it Dave.

7. Runaround

Goofy little story this one! Not super clever or anything but a fun romp with “how are we going to sober up this robot before we fry to death?” As the driving question.

6. Liar!

This is probably the turning point where we get to stories I really like. Even with the dumb sexist nonsense. The concept of a robot with psychic abilities trying SO hard not to hurt any feelings or crush any dreams doing more harm and ultimately just breaking down from the impossibility of its situation is just a neat concept. Poor Herbie :( Also I love you Susan but what the fuck?

5. Robbie

IT’S CUTE OKAY?!

4. Evidence

Pretty much what it says, laying out the evidence? Is Stephen Byerley a robot? …I mean I don’t know. I actually really like that the answer is never given (maybe it was elsewhere I dunno) because the point is more that it doesn’t matter. Kind of a clever little game of cat-and-mouse and I enjoy it.

3. Little Lost Robot

Probably the best of the anthology in terms of the puzzle. Again something of a battle of wits with growing tension and stakes. I like watching our protagonists puzzle things out against an incredibly clever robot.

2. Reason

I really, really like this one. Robot finds religion. Because it is, after all, reasonable. And who ever heard of two humans being able to create something clearly more useful than themselves. Just really enjoy it from a philosophical perspective. People, and robots apparently, tend to think they are reasoning beings when… more often than not it’s not quite true. After all one can reason out anything they want.

The Evitable Conflict

But I do think the book saved its best for last. On one hand just laying out how the world is functioning in the world of this set of stories, but also slowly uncovering a strange and sinister truth. Or is it sinister? Personally I am sometimes a fan of a story giving you an strange scenario but leaving it up to the reader if it is a good or a bad thing. Because honestly I wouldn’t be sure.

[welcometothejianghu]

i need you to know i've started the blood of youth based on your rec (just finished episode 5 🥹) and 1. it is so much fun 2. how can ONE former prince be SO bitchy, i love him so much??? (i have been liveblogging to a friend and i just call him "xiao bitch" and send photos of the tv where he looks especially beautiful, i have sent a lot of photos) 3. as a person who watches a lot of anime and goes "oh i know that voice actors" it's fun to be at the point in my cdrama experiences that i am starting to be able to hear the different dub actors XD

Oh, thank you for telling me this! It makes me so happy to hear when people start things based on my recs. My little tail is wagging!

My prince is a bitch and I love him so much~

I think this was really the first show I watched where the dub cast wasn't just one or two voices I'd heard before, but a whole slew of them. Xiao Se is Zhou Zishu. Wuxin is Qi Tiezui. Sikong Qianluo is Wen Qing. Tang Lian is Xiao Jingrui. The Emperor is the emperor in, like, everything. My ear for voices isn't great, and even I was like, wait a minute, that monk sounds like Ba Ye! As though I needed another reason to fall instantly in love with that beautiful bald man.

For the rest of you who want to get in on this nonsense, here's the Blood of Youth rec post, which I think makes a pretty fun case for why you should try this out. It's a colorful adventure romp with some loveable (and some hateable!) characters, and it makes me happy.

[la-muerta]

tag game

tagged by @cheetahing 🥰

3 ships you like: Dihua (Mysterious Lotus Casebook), Malec (Shadowhunters), ??? that's all I'm fannish about right now

First ship ever: Ranma/Akane from Ranma Nibun no Ichi lol

Last song you heard: Beijing opera version of 女儿情 by Zhao Yongxin (Shunyao's bandmate from MIC)... to be honest I've been playing it on loop ad nauseam because it's currently stuck in my head lol

Favourite childhood book: definitely the Dark Is Rising series by Susan Cooper

Currently reading: I've been trying to read 吉祥纹莲花楼 but the characters are different enough that I'm struggling a little to concentrate.

Currently watching: halfway through 念念无明 which is a fun romp so far!

Currently consuming: water

Currently craving: ??? ice lol

No pressure tagging: @greentealycheejelly @demy85 @sfjessii and anyone else who wants to play!

[frauleinandry]

a persona 3 reload review

uuuuuuh so i was meant to post this like... two weeks ago, but then real life hit me in the head like a frying pan. now that i've had the time to edit this though, here are my thoughts on p3re! this is also a minato route review, as i played kotone's in P3P (i know it's not his canon name, but i don't want to use makoto due to P5 confusion).

on the whole, reload is a fantastic game. the gameplay easily rivals P5R, and surpasses it in some aspects. the new content is typically great. i also enjoyed minato as a character (well, as much of a character as persona protagonists are anyway), though that leads me to the main gripe i had with reload...

... and that's the lack of kotone's social links. to be precise, two of her social links, the absence of which greatly hurts the overall story.

don't get me wrong, i'd still rank reload a solid 8/10, but it could have been a 10/10 with the addition of those two links (plus one other spoiler thing), and I think that's a shame.

my in depth analysis is under the cut - note, it's very much not spoiler free.

okay, so, i'm gonna split this into 3.5 segments - the good, the mixed, and the bad (you'll find out what the 0.5 is later).

1. the good:

minato - while i'm still a kotone girlie at heart, he's not a bad protagonist at all! his dialogue options have a very distinct personality to them unlike joker and yu, and his character arc is one of the best of all of the persona main leads. an aloof, apathetic boy who learns to love the world/his friends so much he's willing to die for them... it's good!

koromaru - minor, but worth mentioning. you can pat him, and it's so cute. in fact, everything about him is perfect. from his all-out attack screen, to his animations, to... well, everything. no joke, if I needed to sell this game to a non-persona fan, i'd use him as the main draw.

hangout events - while I think being able to chat to everyone in the dorm already made SEES one of the more developed casts, having additional scenes really helped flesh out the party members who are less prominent in the plot (fuuka, pre-january aigis, ken). more things to do at night is also great, given there was nothing to do in the evening after maxing your social stats in the older versions. the perks they give you are great too, but i'll talk about that more later.

voice acting - not gonna lie, i generally don't like the persona dubs, and normally always play with the JP audio. given reload features some of my favourite voice actors though and was basically fully voiced, i decided to give it a chance this time. and i don't regret it! while some actors are definitely stronger than others, none of them were actively jarring, and quite frankly, they hard carried a lot of the social links. kudos to the cast!

strega - while they could have gone a bit further with it (jin needed a linked episode for sure), takaya finally got the development he sorely needed, and his and jin's final battles were actually interesting, instead of being annoying distractions from nyx. in fact, i'd say takaya's new content is easily the best of the new reload exclusive material. in portable, he made no impression on me whatsoever, but now, he finally gets to be the anti!minato he deserves to be.

1.5. the tartarus (aka good part 2, electric boogaloo):

i have so many things to gush about in terms of the new combat/exploration system, i decided it needed its own section! the glow-up tartarus got was massive. i was pretty disappointed when i heard they were keeping it randomly generated, but somehow, atlus pulled it off! i'll talk about individual things below.

collectables/monad doors - one issue with OG tartarus is that it's monotonous. breakable collectables make it much more entertaining to romp through though, as smashing things is Fun. the monad doors interspersed throughout are another good addition - if you want a break from roaming, you can challenge them, but if not, that's fine!

floor layout - another thing that makes tartatus more fresh to explore is that the HD graphics really make the differences between the blocks pop out. the generally smaller floors with more unique layouts really helps too.

shifting - it's baton pass, though without the ridiculous power/sp bonuses that made baton pass a little bit too gamebreaking in persona 5. in other words, perfect!

theurgy - out of all the battle-specific improvements, theurgy and the personality traits have got to be my favourites. showtimes were fun, but too random/gimmicky to be that useful, and ultimate skills tended to fluctuate between being absolutely gamebreaking or too SP intensive to be worth using. blending them into one feature with a content-specific gauge fixes all the problems with them while keeping everything that made showtimes/ultimate skills good.

ambush mechanics - this was one of the things i was most worried about before playing reload. ambushing in P5 is fun, but ambushing in the other persona games...? not so much. reload manages to fix this though by making the shadows less sensitive, which makes the early game a lot better, and but introducing dash-ambushes once the floors get bigger. if the persona 6 ambush system works like this, i'll be happy.

navigator skills - fuuka being retooled to work more like a playable character was an A+++ decision. making her skills player-activated but with an SP cost is so much more immersive than randomly getting a stat boost/enemy info.

unfortunately, while i think most of the tartarus additions were great, there were a few new mechanics which weren't... dreadful, per say, but could have been implemented better.

great clocks - they're better than nothing, but quite frankly, i would have preferred it if benched units got 50% exp instead. they incentivise you to drop two units for a period of time, which is annoying, given i want to use everyone on my first playthrough. late game, great clocks are also a pain to summon, for reasons i'll talk about below.

twilight fragments - i think they're a neat idea in theory, but they need to be easier/more reliable to farm. once you finish off the bulk of your social links/elizabeth's requests, replenishing them becomes a nightmare, which is annoying because you need them for great clocks.

2. the mixed:

while reload did a lot of things right, as per above, there were some things that didn't quite hit the mark.

linked episodes - i'm gonna be blunt. anyone who thinks these are better than social links is smoking something. one thing i like about party member social links is that it gives them a subplot outside of the main story, focusing more on their mundane struggles as opposed to their supernatural ones. half of the linked episodes just develop the main plot more though (and really should have just been included in it), meaning the linked episode exclusive subplots are underbaked.

another problem is that some of the linked episodes are just... kinda badly written. ryoji's completely lacks his existential dread, akihiko's comes off as a poor attempt to make his arena behaviour less OOC, while shinjiro's... it feels like persona 5 writing, in the worst way possible. it's like atlus completely forgot that subtext is a thing that's Good, actually.

while I have been fairly critical of them so far though, there are a couple of linked episodes i liked. koromaru's actually worked with the format, given he's a dog, but the real winner here was takaya. i loved all of his. if linked episodes appear again, i'd rather they be locked to antagonists like him.

art direction- i'll say right now - the UI is fabulous, the model shaders are great, and tartarus looks fantastic. the environmental design on the whole though is a bit iffy - a lot of the environments didn't translate to the super HD very well, and the lighting sucks in general. i needed to turn down the brightness it was so eye-searing. the animation of the 2D cutscenes is also pretty mediocre, and while the 3D cutscenes tend to look better, they're held back by some of the character models looking a bit goofy (mitsuru's is probably the biggest offender). i also think they were too scared of making the sprites 'ugly', and therefore on the whole they're slightly less emotive than the ones in the older versions of the game, which is a pity.

3. the bad:

minato's social links - the vast majority of the minato-exclusive social links are just flat-out not great. serious props to the voice actors here, since they hard carried them. quite frankly, they're just... bland, except for maya's and suemitsu's, which. uh. have problems. on the topic of social links, while i'm happy the romance isn't mandatory anymore, i don't like how half the girls explicitly confess to you. i much prefer the more subtle vibes of the P5/P4 romantic options, as yeah, most of them can lead naturally into romance, but they don't make the MC feel like a harem anime protagonist (derogatory). it kinda brings to mind this twitter post; sometimes, subtlety is simply better.

the absence of shinji and ryoji's social links - i can live without saori, rio, and most of the new and improved SEES member social links, but this is where i draw the line. while shinji dying is better storytelling, just like with chidori, having the option to save him is also important. lock it behind new game plus, yes... but keep it. also, him priming kotone to support akihiko one he's gone is far better than him just flat-out telling minato that he's dying. ryoji's missing social link though is infinitely worse. where is his slowly mounting horror as he starts poking holes in his backstory? his desperation to validate that he's actually real? that he exists?! like yeah, it's nice that the linked episode doubled down on his bisexuality, but i'd rather keep the psychological breakdown aspects of it, y'know?

the difficulty - i started playing reload normal - the level i'd typically use for a blind run of a persona game - aaaaand swapped to hard the second i unlocked theurgy. even then though, the game was a cakewalk until january hit. while i love theurgy, the game is absolutely not scaled around it, especially since you can charge/concentrate them. doing that, you can easily rack up thousands of damage without even going ham with fusion. unfortunately, reload is just... really easy.

the plot's too faithful to the original - while reload added new content, it pretty much left the story untouched outside of the beach scene. that's... not good, as persona 3's narrative had some pretty big problems. the biggest issue is the unchanged pacing - the strega storyline really needed to start a month earlier, and ryoji needed an extra month to integrate with the characters due to his lack of social link. this is one of the things i'm explicitly docking a point for - reload still doesn't kick off until the yakushima arc, which is well over a third into the game.

despite my criticisms, i do want to note that my experience with reload was predominately positive. it's (extremely) sad that you still need to play portable to experience the full persona 3 story, but p3re is still a fantastic game, and has a lot of gameplay features i'd be delighted to see in persona 6.

that's all i've got to say for now - until next time!

[bluntforcefem]

hiiii atti! do you perhaps recs for good videos or seasons to watch for etho content maybe

i do!! i have always been a bigger fan of his solo / team canada content though so unfortunately i will not be much help in the hermitcraft department BUT. i will do my best

obligatory "etho's decked out runs are incredibly impressive and entertaining" post. episodes 14-20 of his hermitcraft s9 (they all have the phase names) are just a blast

hermitcraft s8e3 is also fun. he builds a moss farm

his most recent solo world tour episode is from around 3 years back, episode 550, and it's a really good video to watch if you want a taste of what his let's play is like + the kind of projects he works on in it. also it's fun & i revisit it a lot

sky factory 2.5 & captive minecraft 4 are both extremely fun team canada romps if you want some goofy bullshit! captive minecraft 4 is... much shorter albeit i'm not ENTIRELY sure they ever finished the map

the first five & very last episode of project ozone 2 are delightful for very different reasons

(note: tumblr decided to delete the links off the last two points because it hates me but they are VERY easily findable playlists on etho's channel)

lastly: i've heard really good things abt etho's double life series in particular AND secret life, but my deepest secret is that i haven't actually watched any of them yet. passing on the recommendation from the ethogirls i follow

[agentnico]

The Instigators (2024) review

Just a regular day in Boston.

Plot: Rory and Cobby are unlikely partners thrown together for a heist. However, when it goes awry, they team up to outrun police, backward bureaucrats, and a vengeful crime boss.

I feel kind of sorry for director Doug Liman. Guy was screwed by Amazon who promised to give his Road House remake earlier this year a theatrical release only to dump it straight to Prime Video to the director’s dismay, and now he’s had the same treatment again twice in a row courtesy of Apple TV+ with The Instigators. Dude must be fuming! That being said, from what I’ve heard about Road House, it sounded like that was a fun action flick. Same can’t be said for The Instigators, as this definitely feels like a straight-to-streaming release.

That’s not to say there isn’t plenty of talent behind and front of camera. As aforementioned, Doug Liman directs (by the way if you haven’t seen his film American Made with Tom Cruise, do yourself a favour, just saying), and we have the good will of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck as producers, and then Damon again and Casey Affleck (who wrote the script) leading this Boston buddy action romp. Look, on its own merit The Instigators is a perfectly watchable ridiculous heist movie, with some semi-decent action sequences, a charming comedic energy from its two leads and a surprisingly stacked cast. I’m not even kidding, we have appearances from Hong Chau, Alfred Molina, Michael Stuhlbarg, Toby Jones, Paul Walter Hauser, Ving Rhames and Ron Perlman! Evidently the Affleck’s called in a heck of a lot of favours, as this set gives the Deadpool & Wolverine cameos a run for their money! I do admit though that most of the cast are wasted and appear for maybe a scene or two if that, so most of them were in all likelihood there for an easy pay-check. And I don’t blame them - Apple has a lot of money that it evidently doesn’t know what to do with.

The issue with The Instigators is simply how normal it is. This is the most generic by-the-numbers heist-gone-wrong film you can possibly imagine, with lazy jokes, uninspired set pieces and the whole thing feels so repetitive as we’ve seen it before. It’s such a shame as again, one naturally goes into this with a certain level of expectation due to the talent involved, but the end product is nothing more than a shoulder shrugger. I didn’t even think Matt Damon did that well - his line delivery felt lazy and he looked bored throughout. Casey Affleck is a bit more fun and probably is the reason for some of the laughs. I guess we’re so accustomed to him playing serious roles that it’s nice to see him relaxed and spread his comedic chops a little.

Though they have been killing in the television medium, Apple have struggled with their original films, as aside from Martin Scorsese’s The Killers of the Flower Moon, and I also have a soft-spot for that Tetris movie as for some reason tetrominos are my jam, but aside from those the movies from Apple haven’t really struck a spark. Shame really. Oh well, they’ve still given us Ted Lasso so can’t hate on them too much now.

Overall score: 3/10

[lowkeyed1]

11, 15, 22, 28

Velvet Fist, Iron Glove

or the full Q&A if you want 😉

ooh... thanks for the ask <3 Velvet Fist, Iron Glove is my take on a Willow 2022 AU where the Gales never came the night before the wedding and Kit and Graydon had to go through with it... but the secret Graydon is harboring is a little different, too: he's a trans man. It evolved from exploring Kit and Graydon finding they had more in common than they thought and developing a relationship to involving Jade... and Boorman... and Airk now as well. It's a WIP, so I'm not done growing the Greater Tir Asleen Polycule yet! Not to mention it's developed something of a plot involving Zivian's evil doings and machinations, a kidnapping, the Elora Danan reveal, all kinds of fun stuff... 11. What was the most challenging aspect of writing it? I think the biggest challenge is similar to polyamory in real life! It's hard to have so many relationships going on and give them all the time and depth they deserve. Plus since I'm jumping POV a lot I really have to delve into the feelings of each person about everything that's going on and make sure it all feels grounded and true to them and the situations. 15. Talk about the characters’ struggles & how you decided on those. Hm. Well, for Kit I felt like her struggle to be seen and heard for herself was similar to Graydon's. It seemed to me that if they had a chance to get to know each other, they would realize that and be mutually supportive, and grow together. Onward from that, it seemed to me that Kit's desire to be in control and be seen as valuable would lead to her discovering a predilection for domming; meanwhile given Graydon's more constrained mien in his family he would find some relief in letting go of control. Of course, things evolve... as Kit begins to feel safer and more secure she finds she can give up a little control, and as Graydon sees that need in her he can take control at times because he sees how much she needs a break. Kit still tends to struggle in areas where she can't control things and that manifests in moods and outbursts. Graydon struggles with his father's machinations and his own ever-present horniness, lol. I can't say I really consciously decided on most of that, it just felt like it came organically as a result of studying their canonical characterization. I'm operating on vibes here, baby! 22. What is something you learned about yourself as a writer from the experience? Hoo boy. You would ask that one, lol. What have I learned from writing a vast pornographic romp about domination, submission, coercion, humiliation, and edging? ....Things. We shall say I have learned things about myself for sure, lol. I also learned that even if I don't really know where the plot is going, if I start writing something will happen anyway and it's usually fine. It's given me more confidence to just pick a direction and go -- usually what hangs me up is having too many choices and possibilities and knowing when I pick one that limits or cuts off the rest. But I can always write another story with the path not taken :) 28. Write a new summary for the fic, but badly. "Graydon Does Tir Asleen: You Won't Believe The Things That Make This Boy Horny" I really need to get back to writing this one... Now that I've talked about it I miss it T_T I don't think I'm gonna do the whole QnA but bonus: 19. While editing, did you kill any darlings? What were they? My first take on the scene where Graydon admits he's attracted to Boorman really cracked me up, but it didn't fit with how I eventually decided it should go. I've always been a little sad it had to be cut so I'm delighted to share it now: -----

"Kit. I'm in trouble. I think I have a crush on Thraxus." "....Your squire?" she looked at him, her eyebrows raised. He stopped, completely thrown off his next sentence. "Yes, my squire. Are there a lot of guys named Thraxus in Tir Asleen? Because I had the impression it was an uncommon name." "No, no... he's the only one. It's just..." "What?" "Well, when you said you liked boys I thought you meant, you know. Boys like you." "...I don't think there are a lot of boys like me in Tir Asleen, either." "No, idiot. I mean, like... softer boys."

[deb79ful]

Have you heard of OBAKEIDORO? It's a neat little game on both Switch and Steam, with one player being the monster trying to capture 3 human players before time runs out. (Don't worry, the monsters don't intend to hurt them... supposedly.) It's currently celebrating its 4th anniversary!

Me and my friends got introduced to this game when it was available for a Nintendo Switch game trial, and after it was over we liked the game so much that we decided to buy it and keep playing. Even with the three of us needing a CPU to fill the final human slot, it's stupid fun to just romp around and try and outwit each other.

In case you're curious as to who the characters in the pictures are, look below.

Alex: One of two starting humans, the other being his sister Alisa. He's even-tempered, and his favorite book is "Punishments Around the World."

Patches: The starting monster, a cemetery-dwelling ghost with a fondness for jumping out of walls and making children scream.

Sharlie: A cat working as a shop clerk. Although only hired to help out, he plots to take the owner's place (The owner being the one behind the game of OBAKEIDORO in the first place).

Baphomeeko: A demon child who loves books, and sneakily borrowed a book on magic from the library. Her dream is to become a mighty demon like her dad.

Googly: The first 'human' you'll likely unlock, and Alisa's favorite toy. He jumps at the slightest sound, but will face any monster to defend the twins he belongs to.

Sharlie's a purchasable 'human', while Baphomeeko's locked behind an event, but she isn't too hard to unlock when her event does come around. Naturally, there's lots more in the game right now than just these five, and if you want to try the game yourself it's currently on sale on Switch for 50% off! Not sponsored, but it is a fun little game to open on a lazy afternoon.

[mika-0730]

Tagged by @queen-vv! Thank you and i had a bunch of fun with this :3

Last song i heard: Motherland from Ado

I love the MV and it's jumped up my personal fave list. Certain notes during the chorus hit hard for me

Fav color: Most shades of blue 💙💙💙💙

My eyes are blue, i want my hair to be blue, blue is the BEST (followed by pink and i swear i was like this since i was a child, truly trans coded from birth lmao)

Last watched Series: rewatched bocchi the rock most recently, but dunmeshi and lycoris recoil also here

Spicy/Sweet/Savory: I'm a sweets girl first and foremost but after that i love all of these

Relationship Status: ironically "it's complicated" is probably it. I'm poly, but still technically not officially divorced from this common law marriage (probably just gonna wait out the relationship Status to expire/agree we divorced at some point), I'm talking to a few people with varying degrees of interest and levels of comfy with it.

Last thing i googled: searching for source on an image

Last thing i read: "Goblin Is Very Strong", solid 7-8/10. Cute Yuri romp cut short

Current Obsession: Unfortunately depression brain has hit so nothing really at the moment, but slowly getting back into gaming and Yuri

Something I'm looking forward to: March 8th, first paycheck free from paying rent in a place I'm not staying. After that, I'd like to travel and see some friends soon. Pacific NW, Boston, San Diego, Japan, Canada, maybe the EU all on the eventually list

As for tagging people I'm pretty bad at this but let's go with:

@maddy-was-taken

@jacqylfrost

@karmotrinedream

@mothgirlthing

And anyone else who reads this and says "i would wanna do that" imagine I'm also including y'all (and for those i tagged if you don't like being tagged in these lmk and I'll make a note)