#health ramble
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An infection of some variety, or the residual of the last one, is back. I really did not need this after having a serious one that nearly packed up my kidneys, as well as sepsis only weeks after I left the hospital semi stable.
It's coming back for me, apparently. I found out the day before my birthday whoop. If I had not had a lovely hotel and dinner with my long-time good friend and partner, and got to feel a resemblance of comfort existing by going to a gay bar again, finally, I would've broken down. I really don't cope with hospitals, and I have so much PTSD from how the ICU was, that I haven't been attending treatment for physical. I can go to the GP and other places, but that specific hospital is sending me in Nope mode.
I've been doing the best I can with food and cleanliness, I don't know what else I can actually do.
#personal#health update#health ramble#rambles#kidneyhealth#kidney infection#sepsis#complex ptsd#ptsd#ptsd tw
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Just a health update (for my own archival records):
My MCAS and allergies got so bad that I literally couldn’t eat anything without horrible allergic reactions. I became fearful of eating at ALL for several weeks and was literally starving, but anytime I ate anything I suffered so much so it wasn’t worth it to me. I’d rather be starving and weak than have to deal with my almost violent severe motor and vocal tics, throat closing, heart racing, heavy weight on my chest, red burning flushing all over my body, mouth sores, nausea, extreme fatigue, muscle and joint pain, etc etc for 3 hours anytime I ate or drank anything.
I was also going into anaphylaxis from random things like anytime I went to the restroom, fragrances of any sort, just sitting on the couch at night, experiencing any strong emotion, crying (which did happen a few times as I was completely fed up), etc
I was going downhill fast again.
Well my MCAS doctor wrote me out of the blue and told me he has been having amazing results with having his patients micro dose glp-1 meds for their MCAS.
(glp-1 meds are like ozempic, wegovy, mounjaro, etc. Known as the diabetes meds celebrities are taking to lose weight)
I was pretty desperate, so I said I wanted to try them.
I did my first shot of a generic glp-1 med last Wednesday… a much much lower dose than people take for diabetes or to lose weight…
I am convinced it’s a miracle drug. Within 10 minutes my severe tics (brought about by anaphylaxis) decreased and calmed down. I sat there just ecstatic to be completely still and give my body a break.
I ate some rice and marinated meat that night (very fearfully) and had no reaction.
I did some restorative yoga that night. Exercise would cause anaphylaxis for me usually… but no reaction.
Throughout the week my brain fog cleared up. My sleep schedule became regular. I was able to eat 3 normal meals a day, adding back in many foods I had previously reacted poorly to.
On Christmas I ate filet mignon, lobster tails, broccoli kugel, and salad. No reaction!
It has been SUCH a relief.
This week I took my 2nd dose and upped it to 9 units (my first dose was 4.5). I’m not doing as well on the 9 units (though still a million times better than before), so I’m going to go back to the 4.5 units dose.
Anyway… I’m very hopeful about the future at again. I feel so much better.
Even if this doesn’t last… I’m so so grateful to just be able to give my body a break from all the severe tics and constant anaphylaxis. Feels like a Christmas miracle.
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THANK YOU FOR THIS
Despite being a millennial, I first learned about The Game when I was working at a summer camp for kids with Tourette Syndrome in the 2010s, and I just want to say that whatever millennial camp counselor introduced The Game to a camp full of kids and adults with Tourette’s is absolutely diabolical.
Many kids developed a tic where they’d randomly yell “I LOST THE GAME!!!” and immediately this huge chorus of angry exclamations would sound (as well as other kids “catching the tic” and having to yell “I LOST THE GAME” in response several times).
Everyone was constantly losing the game and raging about it. No one could get it out of our heads. Neurological warfare I stg
It's come to my attention that a good portion of the younger generation has not been made aware of one of the greatest and most hated PILLARS of millennial society.
So I apologize, but I must take on this task. A new hand must touch the beacon. The knowledge must be passed on. The chain can not be broken.
So.
The Game.
The following are the rules of The Game:
there is no winning The Game
once you know of The Game, you are always playing the game
the point of The Game is to not think about The Game
if you think about The Game, you have lost The Game, and must announce this to those around you - causing them to also lose The Game
A "reset period" of roughly an hour or two before loss announcements is common in colloquial rules to allow yourself and those around you to properly temporarily "forget" about The Game, however that is not an official rule.
Go forth, you next generation, and I am sorry.
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I wish there was like, a little creature, who would vet me on a day to day basis and decide whether I am well enough to work that day or not.
#when I say I am tired of being held responsible for making these kinds of decisions I really mean it#it’s not even the making of the decision it’s the way I made to feel about it afterwards#like I’ve let people down#it’s just so confusing when I’m being told that my health is the most important thing#but when I make decisions the benefit my health I’m being selfish?!#like what?#fairy is venting#health ramble#jul 2024
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Shocked how many people think you can just turn on a computer and leave it on for weeks or months or years and never turn it off and it'll be fine. Computers need their sleep, and sleep mode does not count
#seriously there are processes important to the health of your computer that run when you turn it off or on#if you computer runs like shit or if your laptop's always hot that's why#'oh but it takes so long to boot up' YEAH BECAUSE YOU'VE KILLED HER SLOWLY#you've done the equivalent of stapling her eyes open and tazing her when she falls asleep. STOP#incoherent rambling
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@ryebreadgf / The Truth About Grief, Fortesa Latifi / bone deep, m.v.e / Sidewalk, Richard Silken / unknown / 60 hours, m.v.e / @itsblackleader / Salt, Nayyirah Waheed / @heavensghost
#some recent thoughts#web weaving#word weaving#on grief#on surviving#on change#on changing#on disability#on health#poetry#quotes#poems#meg rambles#megthemariner#actually disabled#long post#probably#muted
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Something I miss from the start of the pandemic was being able to watch movie theater releases from home.
I know why they’ve gone back to in theater only releases, but as someone with multiple disabilities and a compromised immune system that makes movie-going hard, it was the first time in years I got to enjoy new releases as they came out.
I didn’t even particularly mind that it was costing me $20 to rent it for a single viewing. To me it was just another disabled tax, but one I was actually happy to pay for the price of finally feeling included in the experience of enjoying new media. (Not to mention actually going to the movie theater costs something closer to $40 these days.)
Factor in that I got to control my environment (not too dark or loud to avoid migraines. No nerve compression from sitting in chairs not designed for my body. Access to food I could eat and bathroom breaks as needed without missing anything.) the sheer joy alone of being able to talk to my friends about movies as they came out was really something I hadn’t realized I was missing until I had it back.
Normally by the time I get to see new media it’s several months later and everyone else has moved on.
It’s alienating.
The whole experience of being disabled alienates you from most of society, but it always tends to be the big things you think about and not the little. And that was one of the little things I missed.
And now there’s a new Superman movie coming out next year that I’m actually so, so excited to see. But barring a miracle of Biblical proportions, I know I’m not going to be able to hobble my butt into the cinema without risking my health.
So, I’ll be watching it months later when the hype has already died down. And my enthusiasm for it won’t be counted in box office figures despite being the type of person who would go see a movie multiple times in the cinema if I enjoyed it.
I dunno, man. It just sucks. I wish they had like, memberships or something you could pay to watch things at home.
And before anyone is like “just pirate it” — that’s not the point of the post. The point is people are excluded from things in ways you don’t even think about and the pandemic made it really clear that there were always ways to accommodate people like me.
People just don’t want to.
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Now that Ghibli's new movie is coming out soon, I've been thinking about anime films and wanna talk about my favorite animated movie ever, Tokyo Godfathers.
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TG is a 2003 tragicomedy by Satoshi Kon, following three unhoused people––an alcoholic, a runaway girl, an a trans woman––who find a baby in a dumpster and set off across Tokyo to reunite her with her parents.
If you like the sound of that, go watch it because the rest of this post is spoilers and I have FEELINGS about this movie.
URGHH, the fact that only two moments of true kindness, generosity, and care given to the three protagonists without any expectation of reciprocity are given by a Latin-American immigrant couple and a drag club full of queens and trans women. The fact that, despite her loud and dramatic personality, Hana is the glue that holds the team together and the heart of the whole movie. The fact that this movie pulls no punches at showing the violence and inhumanity committed by "civilized Japanese society" against the unhoused. The fact that Miyuki craves to be loved by her parents and ends up seeing Hana as her true mother. The fact that Miyuki starts off accidentally using transphobic language against Hana, but slowly begins calling her "Miss Hana" out of respect. The fact that, according to Kon, Hana's role in the story is as a mythological trickster god and "disturb the morality and order of society, but also play a role in revitalizing culture." The fact that Hana so desperately wants to be part of a true family, yet is willing to sacrifice her found family so they can be with their own, and is rewarded for her good deeds in the end by becoming a godmother. The fact that, throughout the movie, wind and light have been used to signify the presence of god's hand/influence (this movie's about nondenominational faith––faith in yourself, faith in others, faith in a higher power. Lots of religious are referenced, such as Buddhism/Hinduism, Christianity, and Shintoism), and in the climax of the film, as Hana jumps off a building to save a baby that isn't hers, a gust of wind and a shower of light save her from death. The fact that god saves a trans woman's life because she proved herself a mother, and that shit makes me CRY.
#ramblings#long post#not art#personal#it's the ultimate found family movie#not without its problems. i really dont like its depiction of mental health#for a movie that does an otherwise great job spotlighting the unhoused crisis in japan and its society's oppressive distain towards women#and queer people. it really drops the ball on depicting one of the biggest contributors to the crisis#but otherwise this movie is so fucking full of love and kindness and second chances and how fucking good queer folks and poc are#it blows my mind that this film came out in 2003 and the main protagonist is a trans woman who's just the fucking best#the recent gkids dub is REALLY good by the way! they got shakina nayfack; a trans va; to voice Hana!#the dub made great strides to undo a lot of the original misgendering and mistranslations#also its a christmas movie#also the ost was done by the band that did earthbound's ost
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this poor woman ended up in hospital because she ate cayenne + cinnamon coated orange (unpeeled) because there’s a health and wellness influencer with millions of views who recommends it for digestion - she burned her oesophagus
i always saw a few really good other additions of similar things on the comments
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please be so, so careful taking advice from these people online, as many of them are not formally trained or educated, brand ambassadors, deep in pseudoscientific rabbit holes and unfortunately, there are many out there who struggle with disordered eating habits
(not mentioned here but another one worth noting: i have personally known people who have burned their oesophagus with viral apple cider vinegar shots and drinks. don’t do that. a burned oesophagus is not fun)
#also tbh I’ve had this before this previous posts: please don’t make fun of people who fall victim to these kinds of things#lots of them have chronic health conditions and feel unlistened to and are desperate for remedies for their conditions#and nobody is ever fully immune to the effects of social media#katie rambles#ask 2 tag#wellness culture#<- tag for this kinda shit
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if anybody wants life advice… making things for yourself is so important. Like I started making myself blankets last year, & they have helped my mental health so much! For many reasons. First off it gives you something to do that isn’t doom scrolling, so whatever you like doing, like knitting, crocheting, baking, painting, etc. if you dedicate time to that it’ll help your brain. Secondly, it has helped me love myself more in a weird way, bc it’s like, I want this blanket that I’m picturing in my head, and only I can make it for myself, & with every stitch I am reminded that I love my future self enough to make her a blanket. & they really help me see a future for myself because as I make them, I imagine future apartments, living rooms, road trips, friends, lovers, pets—just spaces & people I will one day share my creations with. They’re like my insurance policy for a good future. I keep making blankets because I know one day, I’ll have so many wonderful occasions to use them. And it also contrastingly reminds me that I don’t have to wait to make/have nice things, I can make my living space beautiful now even though I don’t love it all the time. It’s just helped me so much. I think more people should do it.
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Just a sketch that I was too tired to finish... And since it's Father's Day I'm just gonna dump a bunch of my more silly (mostly) headcanons about their dynamic below, teehee.
General - They argue. A lot. About anything. Jason is the instigator. Harvey is almost always correct. - There has been a karaoke battle at some point. - They smoke far too much and smoke breaks are common occurrences during anti-hero outings. They are no longer mere breaks; they are rituals. - One of the only things they are comfortable openly bonding over is their alleged hatred of Bruce - and weapons. - Actually work very well together in combat. Jason's accurate, hard-hitting martial arts expertise and agility compliment Harvey's more elegant and violent approach. Gotham's scumbags are cooked. - They were both slain by Gotham, and reborn. They are now both living their second life - neither want to admit to each other that they find comfort that they're not alone in this. - They will take any opportunity to bring up each other's past interactions; the two-toned car, the two-story building fiasco, the kidnapping, anything. - Jason's biological father is the root cause of their most explosive, brutal fights. Both of them, however, are exhausted and have other shit to worry about, so they avoid this topic as best as they can.
Jason's POV - Teases Harvey about twos, duality and doubles to distract from the horrors. - When angry, will call Harvey 'Apollo' to piss him off. Sometimes it's 'Ex-District Attorney', with emphasis on the 'Ex'. - He doesn't like it very much when Harvey attempts to get close/connect with him; relationships are transactional. At least that's how Jason views them. - Hates being passenger in Harvey's car because he doesn't get any say over the radio. - He does view Harvey as a parental figure, or something like it, but he's conflicted. - Actually appreciates it when Harvey helps him through PTSD episodes. - Sadly, he isn't very good at helping Harvey through dissociation/depressive episodes yet. He sort of stands there like the man emoji. - Will randomly come out with courtroom related lines when Harvey does something bad, like: "Your honour, my client would like to plead Gemini," or "Your honour, in my client's defence, he didn't know the safety lock was off." - Makes jokes about Harvey's thugs all wanting to have 'a night' with Harvey. - Absolutely refuses to call Harvey "dad", even jokingly. He will have sightseen everything in Hell before that happens. - But at the same time he cries out for a father figure, one that is proud of him, that loves him. He secretly loves it when Harvey pats his shoulder or gives an approving nod.
Harvey's POV - Will make jokes about Jason being alive again to distract from the horrors. - When angry, calls Jason 'Robin' or 'Pup' (name of a baby bat) to piss him off. - Tries to bond with Jason - he *wants* to - but he's a big dumbass about it. - Does not understand Jason's music taste and doesn't have any desire to. - Views Jason as the child he never had the chance to have. In a sense, that makes him quite protective of Jason, but he hides this. He tries desperately not to be like his own father. - Is quite good at understanding Jason's emotions; he knows how to deal with his attacks and does, begrudgingly, use tips he learned from his previous therapists. - Doesn't wish to burden Jason with his own episodes. Unfortunately it's not always possible to hide them. - Just as Jason tortures him with puns, Harvey will do it right back. He'll come out with things like, "We only put up with you because you were the SECOND Robin," or "How would you like to die a second time?" - He will stand and stare awkwardly when Jason brings (sneaks) lovers back to the hideout. But he minds his business. - May have accidentally called Jason his son a few times. Or his "kid". But not to Jason directly, only in his talks between himself and Two-Face. - He likes seeing Jason happy. So many kids and young people are let down by Gotham's corruption and he'll be damned if Jason becomes a victim of it (again).
#Obviously I have way more complex stuff to say but it's late and I wanted to keep things relatively lighthearted so yeah. <3#long post#tw: smoking#tw: mental health#harvey dent#jason todd#two-dads au#headcanons#dc comics#sketches#rambles#reginalususart
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Hey you. Yes you. You have been through enough, you hear me? You. Have. Been. Through. Enough.
The world has treated you shittily, you go through enough, don't do that do yourself too. Be decent to yourself, kiddo. We've only got one of you and it's the best one we have :]
I love you, I'm proud of you, go make yourself a beverage of your choice and be a little more decent to yourself today <3
- dad x
#lgbt#finch rambles#lgbtq#lgbtqia#trans#transgender#queer positivity#trans joy#trans kids#teen mental health#youth mental health#actually mentally ill#mental health
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Had a prick test for inhalant allergies today… different trees, grasses, molds, dogs, cats, bugs…
We tested 29 things and I am allergic to 22 of them…
… but not cats and dogs so that’s good?
But basically everything all around me every day is making me constantly go into the beginning stages of anaphylaxis. Awesome.
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Drake Siblings
Have I read this prompt somewhere or was this a fever dream from my bored mind.
What if, now hear me out.
What if we bring up Dana Winters-Drake (whose confirmed to at least be alive in the DC verse but no one knows where she actually is)
What if instead of when she had a mental breakdown and getting committed to an Bludhaven clinc she wandered away before anyone noticed and by the time Tim or anyone did notice a lot of stuff started happening at once in both Gotham and Bludhaven (Steph dying, The Bludhaven crisis, etc etc)
Tim still tries to find her though but even with best resources it was like she just disappeared into the wilderness and the stress of trying to handle more and more problems get worse.
So when out of the blue, a couple of years later, he gets a call from an unknown number. On his private, only for friends and family, phone and when he answers he meet with a young girls voice on the other end.
A very young, maybe six or seven, girl who informs him about his apparently half-brother Danny Drake-Fenton. And how she loves Danny so, so, so much but knows her home is dangerous for him to be in.
Tim is stunned and before he could question her, she says Danny is Dana and Jack's baby and that her parents had adopted him years ago and put Dana's stuff that the hospital had away for him to look at when he was older but she just had to fight off their lunch from eating her brother and she knows he needs a better place to live and so she snooped around and found Dana's diary and that she had to unscramble the nonsense Dana wrote and found Tim's number with the words 'tell him about his brother Danny' hidden in it. And-
But before she could keep rambling she hears Danny screaming "JAZZY THE MILK WENT BAD AGAIN AND HISSED AT ME!"
Tim is left with silence after hearing Jazz yell to Danny to lock the fridge and step out of the kitchen as she gets the bat.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#jazz fenton#tim drake#danny and tim are half brothers#dana Winters-Drake was pregnant when she disappeared#she was out of her mind until she found out and tried her best to regain control but it was hard#she had in and out episodes#she wanted to contact Tim but knew he was still in Gotham and she just coulnt due to episodes of her mental health failing#she was found months later in labor and rushed to a hospital and Danny somehow came out healthy#small but healthy#Dana however lasted a few more hours before passing away from the birth#weeks laters Danny is adopted or fostered out#Dana wrote in diary but scramble and scribbled during her episodes#Jazz finds it and being the smarty she is starts figuring it out#it also set her on her path to understand the human mind#Tim gets to be a big brother#not just for Danny though#hes gonna take Jazz in too after he finds out about how bad the home life is#will Danny still become Phantom though?#maybe#maybe Tim gets there and Jack and Maddie finished the portal way earlier than canon and Danny being curious goes to see#and comes down the stairs to see his baby brother die and then come back
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fight went well
#bg3#bg3 spoilers#ramblings#shadowheart astarion karlach: dead#my wizard with no constitution score: full health + full temp hp :)#mina plays bg3
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