#headers hymn of death

[ohmydramaicons]

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( x ) twiitter

[everyticons]

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[useless-englandfacts]

Dominique, I think I saw somewhere you said your mom was a CoE priest…. What exactly does she have to do now that the Queen is dead? And what if you are a priest that doesn’t support monarchy?

hi! yes my mum is an anglican vicar, correct. i wanted to answer you in detail because i’m Like That so i’ll put the full answer under a cut lol

the second part of your question is easy so i’ll start with that: if you don’t support the monarchy then you don’t have to be anglican! join another denomination like the free church or the methodists or whatever (saying that my aunt and uncle are both elders in the methodist church and they’re more into the queen than my anglican mother lol but that’s purely anecdotal)

as for the first part: there isn’t really much mandatory stuff all churches have to do (though there are certain expectations) so what i’m about to say may only apply to my mum’s church!

on thursday/friday her church runs a cafe which was still open, but they offered a quiet prayer space and the staff all dressed smartly/in black which i thought was a bit much but. eh. the church was open for prayers/reflection yesterday which they wouldn’t usually do (mainly bc saturdays are supposed to be my mum’s day off!)

the main thing is the liturgy - i.e. the words that you say during the service. some anglican churches don’t use liturgy at all, some (like my mum’s) only use it for services like communion, and some use it every week. this week the liturgy has been altered to add in some extra prayers and reflections on the queen. coincidentally this week is communion at my mum’s church so they’re going to use the prescribed liturgy. i don’t think you absolutely have to use it, but… expectations i guess.

mum called the person who’s preaching today, and he’s hopefully adapted his sermon accordingly. i believe they’re in the book of ephesians at the moment so… dunno if there’s anything in there that suits the occasion… similarly the person doing the intercessions (prayers) will adapt what they’re going to say. i think they’re going to have a minute’s silence too, and the people on the ministry team will all be dressed more formally than usual, wearing black and the like.

(my mum was slightly disgruntled about this. clergy shirts are notoriously boring - usually they come in black, white, and maybe light and dark blue. mum’s church doesn’t do robes so she’s made it a point to wear very vibrant patterned clergy shirts. one of her congregation actually sews them for her which is cool but it means the only black shirt mum has has red cherries on it.) ((feel like i should say that when she does funerals it’s usually at the crematorium where she wears robes so she doesn’t have to think about her clergy shirts lol she doesn’t turn up to funerals in bright colours unless asked))

one thing i found funny was that the church of england sent a photo of the queen that they wanted vicars to put up in their churches? according to my mum the quality was terrible and her printer wasn’t working and the size was weird and she didn’t have a black photo frame to put it in so i get the impression that she wasn’t happy about that, but hey. she also updated her church’s social media with an rip queen header photo and she shared whatever the archbishop of canterbury posted. again, apparently the dimensions of the header photo weren’t right so she had to mess around with it for a bit like… the queen’s death wasn’t a surprise so u would think that they’d have one ready to go?

she also changed some of the hymns/songs for somber vibes. they were going to sing amazing grace anyway, but mum added in the extra verse that people don’t usually sing (“yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail / and mortal life shall cease / i shall possess, within the veil / a life of joy and peace” - fitting for obvious reasons) (and before you ask yes i did point out the irony of an abolitionist hymn being sung on behalf of the royal family).

other than that i don’t think much has changed? mum spent most of the weekend phoning people to get a sense of how much they should be doing for the queen so it sounds like a lot of it has been left to individual clergy discretion - which i found surprising tbh?

of course some churches will do a full-on formal eucharist with all the bells and whistles, and some won’t. i assume churches that use robes will have the vicar donning a black stole rather than… whatever colour stole they should be wearing this week (green i think?). it depends on the style of the individual church - my mum’s is pretty informal in worship style so if i were a congregation member i wouldn’t go in expecting much. if i worshipped at like… i dunno keeble college chapel i would expect something different. but that’s true of every other sunday because as we all know, the church of england is anything but united lmao.

[chaolskingdom]

Game of Thrones Playlist + Spotify Links

I’m finally back with a new playlist and I absolutely loved making this. I watched the show and read the books so I felt like GoT really has a lot of Playlist potetial and well here we are.

I will udate this playlist regulary, like my other playlists too. The “Other Characters” section will likely still be improved.

If you have any more song suggestions I should add then just comment :)

Click on the headers to get to the Spotiy Playlists

Game of Thrones

Game of Survival - Ruelle

Dead of Night – Ruelle

Secrets and Lies – Ruelle

Hero – Ruelle

Monsters – Ruelle

Timbers and Wind – Peter Hollens (S3 E9)

Glory and Gore – Lorde

When the Sun Goes Down – Tommee Profitt

Risk it All – Mono Inc.

No One’s Here To Sleep – Bastille

Team – Lorde (S8 E1 – E3)

A Storm is Comin – Tommee Profitt

Monsters – Tommee Profitt

Claim Your Weapons – Christian Reindl

New Kings – Sleeping Wolf

Fear Not This Night – Freya Catherine (S8 E2)

Sound Of War – Tommee Profitt

Undone – Tommee Profitt

Noble Blood – Tommee Profitt

Here We Stand – Hidden Citizens

Kings and Queens and Vagabonds – Ellem

Up in Flames – Ruelle

Robb Stark

Glitter and Gold – Barns Courtney

The Driver – Bastille

Soldier – Fleurie

Wildfire – Seafret (to Talisa)

Beautiful Mess – Kristian Kostov (to Talisa)

Pieces – Red (to Talisa)

Remembrance – Tommee Profitt (to Talisa)

Hold My Girl – George Ezra (to Talisa)

North – Sleeping At Last (Winterfell)

Summer Skeletons – Radical Face (Winterfell)

When the Wolves Cry Out – Miracle Of Sound

Sansa Stark

After the Storm – Mumford and Sons (S8)

Rival – Ruelle

Whatever It Takes – Imagine Dragons

Yellow Flicker Beat – Lorde

A Little Wicked – Valerie Broussard

Battle Cry – Beth Crowley

Will I Make It out Alive – Tommee Profitt

My Domain – SVRCINA

These Roots – Grey

I’m Not Afraid – Tommee Profitt

Ember – Katherine McNamara

You should see me in a crown  - Billie Eilish

Deep End – Ruelle

No One’s Here To Sleep – Bastille (to Petyr Baelish S7)

I Know Your Secrets – Tommee Profitt (to Petyr Baelish S7)

Running With The Wolves – AURORA (S7)

Believer – Imagine Dragons

Something Wild – Lindsey Sterling

Unbreakable – Nick Howard

Zero Tolerance – Tommee Profitt

New Kings – Sleeping Wolf

The One to Survive – Hidden Citizens

Fear Not This Night – Freya Catherine

North – Sleeping At Last (Winterfell)

Dog Days Are Over – Florence + The Machine

Summer Skeletons – Radical Face (Winterfell)

Home – AURORA  (S6 E4)

When the Wolves Cry Out – Miracle Of Sound

Me and Mine – The Brothers Bright

Arya Stark

After the Storm – Mumford and Sons (S8)

Far From Home – Sam Tinnesz

Battle Cry – Imagine Dragons (S8 E3)

Whatever It Takes – Imagine Dragons

Yellow Flicker Beat – Lorde

Battle Cry – Beth Crowley

Will I Make It out Alive – Tommee Profitt

My Domain – SVRCINA

I’m Not Afraid – Tommee Profitt

Natural – Imagine Dragons

New Blood – Zayde Wolf

Believer – Imagine Dragons

Watch Me – The Phantoms

Something Wild – Lindsey Stirling

The Devil Within – Digital Daggers

Monsters – Tommee Profitt

New Kings – Sleeping Wolf

The One to Survive – Hidden Citizens

Fear Not This Night – Freya Catherine

North – Sleeping At Last (Winterfell)

Summer Skeletons – Radical Face (Winterfell)

Home – AURORA (S7 E4)

When the Wolves Cry Out – Miracle Of Sound

Me and Mine – The Brothers Bright

Bran Stark

The Raven – Karliene

Runaway – AURORA

North – Sleeping At Last (Winterfell)

Running  With The Wolves – AURORA

Midnight – Radical Face

Summer Skeletons – Radical Face (Winterfell)

Home – AURORA (S7 E4)

When the Wolves Cry Out – Miracle Of Sound

Jon Snow

Winter Winds – Mumford and Sons (Jon/Daenerys)

Dust Bowl Dance – Mumford and Sons

Thistle and Weeds – Mumford and Sons (to Daenerys)

I Gave You All – Mumford and Sons (S8 E6)

After the Storm – Mumford and Sons (S8)

These Roots – Grey

Natural – Imagine Dragons

I Apologize – Five Finger Death Punch

Bad Dream – Ruelle

Deep End – Ruelle

The Driver – Bastille

Empty crown – YAS

Iron - Woodkid

We Must Be Killers – Mikky Ekko (S8 E5)

You’re Somebody Else – flora cash (to Daenerys S8)

Who Are You, Really? – Mikky Ekko (to Daenerys)

With You Til The End – Tommee Profitt (to Daenerys)

Meet Me on the Battlefield – SVRCINA

Warriors – Imagine Dragons

Believer – Imagine Dragons

Soldier – Fleurie

Wildfire – Seafret (to Ygritte)

Even If It Hurts – Sam Tinnesz (to Daenerys)

Walk Through The Fire – Zayde Wolf

Let Her Go – Passenger (to Ygritte/Daenerys)

Hymn For The Missing – Red (to Ygritte)

Still Here – Digital Daggers (to Ygritte)

Dark On Me – Starset (to Ygritte)

Hurts Like Hell – Fleurie (to Ygritte)

There’s a Hero in You – Tommee Profitt

Fear Not This Night – Freya Catherine (S8 E2)

North – Sleeping At Last (Winterfell)

Summer Skeletons – Radical Face (Winterfell)

Home – AURORA (S7 E4)

When the Wolves Cry Out – Miracle Of Sound

Daenerys Targaryen

Onward and Upward – Tommee Profitt

Welcome to Hell – Mono Inc. (to Cercei)

Rival – Ruelle

Deep End - Ruelle

Monster – Beth Crowley (S7/8)

Battle Cry – Imagine Dragons (S8)

Whatever It Takes – Imagine Dragons

Yellow Flicker Beat – Lorde

The Hate Inside – Sam Tinnesz

Play With Fire – Sam Tinnesz

A Little Wicked – Valerie Broussard

Will I Make It out Alive – Tommee Profitt

My Domain – SVRCINA

No More Heroes – Aviators

Castle – Halsey

Invincible – Ruelle (S8)

Until We Go Down – Ruelle

This Is My World – Esterly

Ember – Katherine McNamara

You should see me in a crown – Billie Eilish

Survivor – 2WEI

Here I am – Tommee Profitt (S7 E4)

Iron – Woodkid

Gloria Regali – Tomee Profitt

Let There Be Fire – Aviators

Monster – Beth Crowley

Two Evils – Bastille (S8)

Ready Set Let’s Go – Sam Tinnesz

Witching Hour – Tommee Profitt (S8 E5)

Believer – Imagine Dragons

Soldier – Fleurie

Casualty – Hidden Citizens (S8)

Lover. Fighter. – SVRCINA

Warrior – Beth Crowley (to Jon)

Midnight Oil – Tommee Profitt (to Jon)

War of Hearts – Ruelle (to Jon)

Hymn For The Missing – Red (to Drogo)

Still Here – Digital Daggers (to Drogo)

Dark On Me – Starset (to Drogo)

Crown [Extended Version] - Camila Cabello & Grey

In My Blood – Tommee Profitt

Here I Am – Tommee Profitt

Champion – Tommee Profitt

Control – Halsey

New Kings – Sleeping Wolf

Fear Not This Night – Freya Catherine (S8 E2)

Me and Mine – The Brothers Bright

Jamie Lannister

Babel – Mumford and Sons (Season 8)

Natural – Imagine Dragons

I Apologize – Five Finger Death Punch

Deep End – Ruelle

I’ll Be Good – Jaymes Young

Wrong Side Of Heaven – Five Finger Death Punch

Iron – Woodkid (S8)

Same Mistake – James Blunt (S8)

Whose Side Are You On – Ruelle

Battle Cry – Beth Crowley

Go To War – Nothing More

Casualty – Hidden Citizens (S8)

Find You – Ruelle (To Cercei S8 E5)

With You Til The End – Tommee Profitt (to Cercei)

Lioness – Sivert Hoyem (To Cercei S7,8)

Remembering Myself – Stephen (to Brienne)

Another Love – Tom Odell (to Brienne)

There’s a Hero in You – Tommee Profitt

Monster – Imagine Dragons

Tyrion Lannister

Little Lion Man – Mumford and Sons

Thistle and Weeds – Mumford and Sons (to Daenerys)

When the Raven Dies Tonight – Mono Inc.

Natural – Imagine Dragons

I Apologize – Five Finger Death Punch

Bad Dream – Ruelle

Hollow – Cloudeater

We Must Be Killers – Mikky Ekko (S8)

Cercei Lannister

My Way – Chase Holfelder

Whatever It Takes – Imagine Dragons

My Domain – SVRCINA

The Devil Within – Digital Daggers

Champion – Tommee Profitt

Me and Mine – The Brothers Bright

Sandor Clegane

Battle Cry – Beth Crowley

Natural – Imagine Dragons

New Blood – Zayde Wolf

I Apologize – Five Finger Death Punch

Monster – Starset

Man or a Monster – Sam Tinnesz

Bad Man – Esterly

I’ll Be Good – Jaymes Young

Iron – Woodkid

What I’ve Done – Linkin Park

I’m A Wanted Man – Royal Deluxe

There’s a Hero in You – Tommee Profitt

Beekeeper – Keaton Henson

Fear Not This Night – Freya Catherine (S8 E2)

Monster – Imagine Dragons

Theon Greyjoy

Dust Bowl Dance – Mumford and Sons

Risk it All – Mono Inc.

Crossfire – Stephen

Natural – Imagine Dragons

I Apologize – Five Finger Death Punch

Bad Dream – Ruelle

Control – Halsey

Bad Man – Esterly

Run Boy Run – Woodkid

Empty Crown – YAS

I’ll Be Good – Jaymes Young

Iron – Woodkid

All The Kings Horses – Karmina

Same Mistake – James Blunt

Battle Cry – Beth Crowley

Casualty – Hidden Citizens (S8)

Find You – Ruelle (to Yara S8 E1)

Remembrance – Tommee Profitt ( S7/8 to Sansa)

There’s a Hero in You – Tommee Profitt

Fear Not This Night – Freya Catherine (S8 E2)

Monster – Imagine Dragons

Welcome Home, Son – Radical Face (Sansa Theon Reunion S8 E2)

Everything Costs – Radical Face

Blood on My Name – The Brothers Bright

Brienne of Tarth

Nothing Left – Beth Crowley (to Jamie S8)

You’re Somebody Else – flora cash (to Jamie S8)

Bring Me Back to Life – Ht Bristol (S8 E2 to Jamie)

Warrior – Beth Crowley (to Jamie)

Wicked Game – Ursine Vulpine (to Jamie)

Weight – Crywolf (to Jamie)

Meet Me on the Battlefield – SVRCINA

Soldier – Fleurie

Something Wild – Lindsey Stirling

Lover. Fighter. – SVRCINA

Fear Not This Night – Freya Catherine (S8 E2)

Petyr Baelish

Who Are You, Really? – Mikky Ekko

Whose Side Are You On – Ruelle

Natural – Imagine Dragons

Blame – Bastille

The Devil Within – Digital Daggers

Other Characters

Onward and Upward – Tommee Profitt (Tommen Baratheon)

White Blank Page – Mumford and Sons (Jorah Mormont)

Soldier – Fleurie (Jorah Mormont)

~ Last Updated 05.02.2020

~ Chaolskingdom

[reblogthiscrapkay]

Persephone in “Genealogy of the Pagan Gods″ by Giovanni Boccaccio

Let me tell you a story about how I’m a witch.

So over the last week, I had been living at my best friend’s house because the power went out at my house. One day after watching a documentary about rare booksellers, we went outside to take a walk around and discuss it and there was a package on his deck. He opened it up and it was a book he had ordered by an ancestor of his, a famous Italian author (arguably the second most famous Italian author? he’s definitely been getting some recent press as his most famous work is about a plague). My friend is trying to get translated copies of every book written by him. Because my friend knows about my interest in mythology, he immediately handed me the book and I opened it up to a random page to see this header:

I showed him what I had done and my friend was like, “Well, she’s calling to you.”

So let’s talk about my girl Persephone (or Proserpina in this case) via her mom Demeter (Ceres in this case).

There is so much interesting detail here!

First of all we have Demeter lighting torches. Hecate is usually the one portrayed with torches because of her nature as a crossroads goddess but I’ve also seen a lot of ancient art (especially in Eleusis) of Persephone with torches too. Never Demeter.

The idea of Demeter confronting Hades (how? was he above or she below?) is not one I’ve really seen and the idea that she ate poppy seeds actually made me really excited. The poppy is one of the things associated with Demeter, and this is the first time I’ve seen it included as an element of this myth.

Also, I have to laugh at “Pluto’s pleasure garden.” Because I’m a child.

Demeter making Trip immortal seems to me to be a confusing mistake or possibly Boccaccio trying to make the myth make more sense. In the Hymn, it’s Demophon, not Trip, who she tries to make immortal. Since Trip is the more important one who works for Demeter, I could see why changing this would make narrative sense. Also never heard the idea of her KILLING a king. Also Trip and Demo were Celeus’ sons not “King Eleusis”? This whole thing is kind of a mess.

The mention of Demeter’s son makes sense because this is a chapter on her specifically. A lot of the time I’ve seen the son’s name as Plutus to try to distinguish him from Hades, but since Plutus and Hades are both gods of wealth, the whole thing has always been kind of a mess that clearly shows a bunch of myth meshing over time.

Then we get Boccaccio’s interpretation, which is some of the most interesting stuff because of how it reflects his time (medieval) and place (Italy, so he’s viewing this from an Ancient Roman and not Ancient Greek lens). According to Theodontius (who’s work is apparently mostly unknown except for liberal references made to his work by BigMouth here), Demeter is the wife of the king of Sicily, Sicanus, which makes sense when you consider that Sicily is considered Persephone’s island.

All his talk about the moon and layers of the earth is so unique. And his literary interpretation of Persephone as a crop! So cool, but also tells me as a reader so much about Boccaccio in a way. Through a modern lens and all the 20th/21st century texts I’ve read, we often see Persephone as a symbol of the life/death cycle or as a symbol of maturation (with seeds being more of a sexual thing or of choosing to grow up than an agricultural thing). It makes me wonder if the nature of Boccaccio’s society is more agrarian or maybe he’s more male-fixated and therefore less likely to think of Persephone in such female-focused ways, that makes the crop comparison make more sense to him. He also uses Ovid as justification, which tells me a lot (as someone who has some not-so-positive feelings for Ovid).

Orcus, as it turns out, was basically another Hades idea common in rural areas. Like Pluto, he’s Hades but also not. Orcus also was apparently more of a scary demon type underworld king, than Hades or Pluto. Orcus/Pluto/Hades is what happens when you have too many gods doing the same thing. THat gives me a thought actually. What is someone wrote a story where Orcus and Hades both exist but Orcus is the villain? Or even Orcus is an alter ego of Hades?

All that stuff about Trip is confusing to me. The mixing of mythologies is making my head hurt. 

Glauca I can’t even find anything on. I’ve heard of Glaucus, of course, but I’ve never heard of Hades having a twin sister who died young. Or of the idea that Hades was actually protected from Kronos. That was just Zeus. Hades was swallowed.

I respect Boccaccio citing his sources.

Super minor detail but I often hear of Hades having four, not three horses. I sometimes wonder if the four has something to do with a Biblical conflation.

Also, I have read Ovid (Metamorphosis, but then I don’t know what BigMouth is citing here) and I don’t remember Hades going above ground to check on his roofing, but I got a good chuckle out of it.

Hades having a kid named Veneration is SO Roman. The Romans had so many random gods like this that the Greeks didn’t, most famous being probably Fortuna, goddess of fortune. There’s a bit more on her at the end of the Pluto chapter (with more super Roman ideas and the detail of Persephone being barren, which is super ironic and totally possible):

Back to the main narrative on Hades: I also laughed at “Tricerebus.” And Tisiphone as a guardian of wealth instead of a Fury? Odd.

And then BigMouth’s going off with more interpretation. The idea that a combination of abundance (represented by Persephone) and wealth (represented by Hades) yields nothing 1. would be an interesting way to explain their lack of children and 2. again says a lot about Boccaccio’s perspective.

The notes on naming Hades are really interesting and connecting him with February and funeral rites. And then we have the world dividing and such.

So I used the index to look up more on Persephone specifically and found some other little mentions of her including one that said the Sirens where her companions and when they couldn’t find her, they were turned into marine monsters. We get this absolutely hilarious line explaining BigMouth’s opinion on this, “I think they were companions of Proserpina because by Proserpina is understood the abundance of Sicilian products, from which libidinous sexual craving is especially derived and the delights of food and leisure are supplied” (195). I read this line out loud to my friend because the side of his family related to Boccaccio is also Sicilian so at some point in the last 600 years, BigMouth’s descendants decided that the land of sexual craving and food is the place to be.

We also have the myth of Pirithous:

I have read versions where Persephone is the main one to stop him, Hades is the main one to stop him, and now Cerberus. Also leave it to a man to somehow have a weird moral to this story about manliness.

And finally, we have this incredibly odd tale that is both specifically Roman and also kind of exemplifies everything I’ve said before about how much the Romans messed with Greek mythology by just smushing everything together and then adding new gods from local cults:

“In fact I detest these riddles and ambiguities and gladly lay them aside” (331). You said it, BigMouth. I hope you’d be proud of your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-etc. nephew or son or whatever because he’s one of my favorite people.

[bitsandbobsandstuff]

A love that never leaves (11)

Summary: Sometimes when you go looking for the past, you find things you never expected. When an accident brings him face to face with something he never knew he lost, Bucky Barnes begins to understand an age old truth – it’s so easy, sometimes, to love the things that destroy us.

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: Bad language. Descriptions of depression. Some pretty heavy sads. 

A/N: Flashback time. Grief can be all consuming and overwhelming. This time, we follow her while she tries to learn how to live again, before a night in 1946 changes everything. 

And again...I am sorry.

Links don’t work, so if you want to access the full ALTNL Masterlist, just click the MASTERLIST header on my blog.

Previously...

In her hand, is a ripped piece of faded blue cloth, with a familiar gray patch sewn into it; smudgy rust-red splotches color the edges like fingerprints.

Wings. Gray wings. Nostalgically familiar, because back in the war, each of the Howling Commandos wore one on their left sleeve, a mirror image tribute to the one painted on Steve’s helmet.

Including Bucky. Who wore one on the left sleeve of his coat.

The left sleeve of his blue coat.

Now, he stares uncomprehendingly at the piece of cloth. “What - “ he starts, but his voice fades. Small shivers are running through her body as she watches him, her face filled with dread. Taking a shaky breath, she whispers.

“There was one other time we met.”

*****

February 1945

The telegram informing her of Bucky’s death, written in Steve Rogers’ messy, cursive scrawl, sits on her kitchen table for a week. Across the creamy white paper are crinkled watermarks and trickles of black ink, where the paper swallowed her teardrops and bled out the sorrow of Steve’s words. One night, in a fit of anger, she tears it to shreds and feeds each piece to the hungry flames licking up the stone wall of her fireplace. There is immediate relief at the words disappearing, but even without their physical presence, the grief always returns.

March 1945

The plush wool feels soft in her hands. A week after his last visit, she saw the bundle in a storefront and bartered two of her old dresses for it; the color was a simple heather gray, but she knew it would look perfect against the deep blue of his coat. Every evening, she would knit until her fingers ached, but in a few weeks, she had a thick wool scarf, one of her old hair ribbons tied around it for a bow. She thought she would keep it as his birthday gift. Now, on what would have been Bucky’s 28th birthday, she wraps it around her neck and crawls into bed. Sleep doesn’t come, but every memory of him arrives like a fresh bullet, punched clean through her chest.

May 1945

Over! The war is over! Relieved cries reverberate through the town when VE Day arrives, children running down streets screaming with excitement, mothers and widows weeping joyously in the streets. Healing will take decades, but with those words, the world begins to plan for what comes next. Life is breathed back into the village and in the crowded town square, she lifts her face to the sunshine and closes her eyes. Fingers the chain around her neck holding the St. Michael medal Bucky gave her for their engagement, and wonders if she will ever be warm again.

July 1945

Wildflowers grow in riotous bursts of yellow and red and purple, filling the space behind her chicken coop with color. Laying amid the blooms, she sits in the baking summer sun, tracing her fingers over the colorful images on the postcards Bucky gave her. She thinks about traveling. About visiting those places, seeing them with new eyes, free from war. When she looks at the Brooklyn postcard, she wonders about visiting his family, but then she sees the crooked hearts he drew on the back, and she knows it would be too much. She puts the cards away.

September 1945

Leaves begin to fall, carpeting the grassy bank near the stream. Going through the motions, she dumps clothes from her basket, dunking them in the gurgling water, scrubbing them clean under crystal clear moonlight. Humming under her breath, she sings to pass the time, but the only words she can find are the ones she sang the first night Bucky found her by the creek and walked her home. We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when. It hurts too much, so she just stops singing.

October 1945

Soldiers have been returning for weeks. Gaunt and haunted, new men arrive every few days, and do their best to pick up the threads of their old lives. One Saturday morning, she walks through the stalls of the market, examining produce and talking with the vendors. A young soldier steps aside to let her pass, quickly pulling off his hat and smiling. Offering a quiet hello in response, she finishes her shopping and leaves; the soldier jogs after her and nervously asks, could he perhaps walk her home? The earnest look in his eyes is so familiar, it makes her sick. She gently tells him no.

December 1945

Taking a sharp kitchen knife, she goes into the trees and cuts an armful of pine boughs. She spreads them through her house, taking deep breaths of the sharp, piney scent. In the white vase on her table, she tucks them carefully in place and adds a small sprig of holly, the red berries shining brightly. Curled in the armchair beside her fire, she drinks tea and listens to the staticky crackle of Christmas hymns on her new radio. It’s a daily battle, but it happens. Life really does go on.

February 1946

Coming home late one evening, she unlocks her back door and hangs her coat in the hallway. Rubbing chilly hands together, she walks into her kitchen and turns on the light. She skids to a stop. Filling the small space, are two hulking men dressed in black. One steps forward and quickly grabs her arms, while the other plays with a length of rope and smiles at her. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you. Someone wants a word.”

There’s a cursory struggle, but she doesn’t fight hard. She thinks to herself, if they kill her, maybe she’ll see Bucky on the other side.

That thought makes her smile, before the world goes dark.

*****

For the second time in her life, she awakens in a cold cell. Stretching her aching limps, she knows immediately this most certainly isn’t heaven.

Hell has a very specific look to it. One she knows far too intimately by now.

The small cell is clean, containing a lumpy bed and a worn blanket; in the corner is a pitcher of water and a bucket, and high on the wall is a small window letting in slivers of light. Her hands are bound in front of her, rough pieces of rope looped so tight around her wrists, the skin has rubbed itself raw. Blood soaks into the bristly rope fibers, staining it with streaks of black.

Where is she this time?

Leaning back against the wall, she blows out a long breath and there’s a strange satisfaction in her realization.

She just doesn’t care.

*****

Hours or maybe days later, her door creaks open. Outlined in the doorframe, is a tall Hydra guard dressed all in black, a mask over his face, a pair of reflective goggles covering his eyes. When he sees her, the gun in his hands trembles the slightest bit, before it steadies once more.

So, she thinks. Here it comes.

Motioning with the gun, the guard indicates she should stand, but she mutinously stays on the bed. If she has to go, she will be defiant to the end.

Stepping forward, he hesitates briefly, before grasping the rope and jerking her to her feet. Balancing his gun at the back of her neck, he pushes her forward.

Down a long hall they go, moving through a set of wooden doors. With a mute resistance, she refuses to walk, forcing him to physically drag her instead. Finally, he simply picks her up and throws her over his shoulder, stalking down the hallway with a series of breathless grunts.

She kicks him the entire way.

When he arrives at a heavy oak door, he bangs three times and throws it open.

The room is surprising. This is no torture chamber, filled with metal tables and metal chairs and the metallic taste of electricity on her tongue. It is warm and cozy, a roaring fireplace on one wall, armchairs strewn casually around, tall shelves lined with books. 

In the middle of the room, stands Colonel Richter, a glass of whiskey in his hand.

“Please, come in,” he says cordially, laughter in his voice. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

The guard dumps her in a sprawling heap and departs. In the flickering firelight, she struggles awkwardly to her feet and readies for battle.

“You again. What do you want? You know I won’t help you,” she snaps, her eyes roaming around the room, searching for threats.

Richter looks amused. Sipping his whiskey, he comes slowly closer until he is only inches from her face.

“First things first. Before, when you stole away in the dead of night - that was a bit rude, don’t you think?”

“Go fuck yourself.”

The quick crack of his backhand sends her stumbling sideways. The heavy ring he wears rips open a fat gash on her cheek and she instantly feels blood begin to ooze.

“Such language for a lady. Did you learn that from him? Let’s try again, shall we? I have a story for you and I’d like you to listen,” he says. “A few months ago, we were working on him and in the middle of one of his delirious rants, I hear something interesting. Can you guess?”

Glaring at him, she remains silent.

“No guesses?” he grins, raising his eyebrows. “Alright then. Through all the screaming and crying, I hear him say your god damn name. Imagine my surprise.”

The first prickles of confused fear skate up her back. “What the hell are you talking about?” she spits out.

“It took some digging, but we managed to trace the path he and that wretched group of assholes from his unit made the last couple years of the war. I sent a few search parties out, and low and behold - here you are.”

Bucky told her once, how he and Captain Rogers parachuted from an airplane. She remembers him laughing about the free-fall, how it made his stomach swoop in a million directions. That feeling of free-falling sweeps over her now, turning her blood to ice.

“What do you mean? Who?”

Richter smiles widely, his eyes gleaming. Grabbing the bloody ropes around her wrists, he yanks her forward and pushes her into the shadowy corner of the room.

“Wait here. I have a surprise for you.”

Outside the door, she hears voices arguing. The scuffle of feet and the sharp bite of an angry voice. Suddenly, the door swings open and four guards enter, dragging a fifth man.

From the dark shadows, she muffles a scream.

Bucky looks exhausted. Dressed in a long-sleeved green shirt and ragged brown pants, he’s thinner than the last time she saw him. Rings of black circle his eyes, the vibrant blue now dull and listless. All his beautiful dark hair has been buzzed short and she can see bloody sores scabbing over along his temples. The left sleeve of his wool shirt is empty, pinned up at his shoulder and his right arm is tucked behind him, a leather strap looped around his wrist and stretched across his chest, keeping his good arm immobile.

“You didn’t tell me it was a party,” he rasps mockingly. “I would’ve put on my fancy clothes.”

One of the guards grabs a fistful of his shirt and drags him closer. “Jesus Christ, I am so fucking sick of your fucking mouth,” he sneers and Bucky shoots him a cocky grin.

“Sweetheart, you’re adorable when you’re mad,” he stage-whispers. In the blink of an eye, the guard draws back his arm and smashes his fist into Bucky’s face. Dropping to his knees, Bucky’s mocking laugh turns into a rattling cough that comes up with a spray of blood and he spits strings of red on the floor. “Like being kissed by your mom,” he says weakly.

Swearing ferociously, the guard moves to kick him, but Richter holds up his hand.

“For god’s sake, every fucking time. You know he does this, why do you let him get to you?”

The guard is visibly furious, but he says nothing. Instead, he grabs Bucky by the back of his shirt, hauling him roughly to his feet. Bucky sways precariously, before he finds his balance. Taking several deep breaths, he fixes his mouth back into that mocking smirk and lifts his chin.

“Evening boys. What the fuck can I do for you today?”

Richter gives him a congenial smile. “We have a visitor tonight. I thought perhaps you’d like to meet her.”

Bucky barks out a hollow laugh. “I sincerely fuckin’ doubt that.”

Richter’s smile grows impossibly larger. “Well, let’s see, shall we?”

Pulling her from the shadows, he throws her forward and she stumbles into the light.

Here’s the thing.

Bucky Barnes is so weak, he can barely stay on his feet. For the last five days, he’s eaten nothing more than a loaf of bread and a pitcher of water. When he walks, he greatly favors his right side, still unbalanced by the loss of his left arm even a year later, and when he speaks, his voice has a perpetually guttural sound, his vocal cords shredded from months of screaming. Sprinkled across his shaved head, are a mess of pink scars where the dull razor blades they used bit cruelly into his scalp.

He looks exactly as one would expect. A prisoner of war.

For weeks, he’s been on the verge of collapse, but the moment he sees her, none of that matters.

Horrified disbelief fills his face and his eyes flick from the tears on her face, to the trickle of blood down her cheek, to the blood-soaked ropes around her wrists.

With a feral howl, he lunges toward her.

Throwing off the shocked guards at his side, he head-butts the man in front of him, sending him flying back. With a well-aimed kick, he knocks the legs from under the fourth guard and the man falls hard, before Bucky levels a savage kick to his head.

Richter laughs delightedly as he watches the show, until Bucky rushes for him. Lifting his gun, he sets it casually against her temple and cocks it. At the click of the hammer, Bucky skids to a stop, his mouth still twisted in a vicious snarl. Sweat dripping down his face, blood dripping from his busted lip, his chest heaves furiously.

“You god damn motherfucking cocksucking piece of shit, you let her go. Let her fuckin’ go, or I’ll fuckin’ gut you.”

“I thought so,” Richter says smugly. “So, our Soldier has something to fight for. How utterly inconvenient.”

“You’re god damn straight I fuckin’ do,” Bucky hisses, staggering under the rush of adrenaline. “Hurt her and I swear to god, I swear to fuckin’ god, I will slit your fuckin’ throat.”

With a dramatic sigh, Richter keeps his eyes on Bucky and bends down to speak in her ear.

“Apparently this one’s special, fights harder than anyone I’ve ever seen. Every time we wipe him, every memory comes back in a couple days. I don’t know what Zola did to him, but his brain fixes it too fast. Basically, he just won't fucking stay down.”

“Fuck no I won’t,” Bucky interrupts.

“See what I mean? You know what happened last time,” Richter says softly, his breath hot in her ear. “I don’t care if he is Zola’s little pet, he’s a wild fucking animal and I’m not above putting him down. So here we are. You fix him or I kill him. Your choice.”

“What the fuck is he talking about,” Bucky asks, looking directly at her now. “What - darlin, what the hell does he mean?”

Looking into his eyes, she thinks about that lovely blue. For the rest of her life, she knows she will see it everywhere. In everything.

Behind him, the guard he head-butted lumbers to his feet and manages to get his forearm locked around Bucky’s neck. 

Richter stands behind her, waiting. Against her skin, he presses a light kiss and she shudders at the hideous feel.

“Come now. You love him, don’t you? Do the right thing.”

Clasped in a tight chokehold, she can see Bucky’s face turning red as he splutters for breath.

“No,” she chokes out. “I won’t. I won’t.”

Cruel fingers dig into the back of her neck and he hisses in her ear. “If you say no, I will put him in that chair and fry his fucking brain every single day for the rest of his life and I will make you watch. Even if he heals fast, he still screams like a baby. Trust me on that one.”

Bucky is still fighting, his throat working uselessly as he tries to draw a breath.

Every scenario, every choice, every possibility, flies through her head. Trying desperately to come up with a solution, with a way to save them both, she thinks and thinks and thinks.

And she comes up empty, because the answer is simple.

There is no solution.

There is no solution.

Then what choice does she have?

She remembers the parade of men from before, the sound of their screams as the chair rocked bolts of electricity through them again and again. The thought of Bucky strapped in that chair, his body convulsing as the electric currents wrack his body, as he screams for her to help him - it is inconceivable. She knows what she has to do. She knows.

What choice does she have?

“Yes,” she sobs, her eyes filling with tears. “Fine, yes, I’ll do it, please just - let him go.”

Motioning to the guard, Richter points at the floor. The man releases his death-grip on Bucky’s throat, kicking his feet from under him and Bucky falls hard to his knees. Wrenching herself from Richter’s harsh grip, she rushes to catch him before Bucky’s face hits the floor.

“You have one minute,” Richter warns, fading into the shadows of the dark room. “And then you do it. If you leave anything behind again, I will kill him.”

After everything, here they are. Together.

Kneeling in front of the fireplace, the warm light cocoons them in their own world, one last time.

Bucky rests his head on her shoulder, closing his eyes when she cradles his thin frame against her. In the quiet room, his short, shallow breaths echo raggedly. Carefully, she runs her fingers soothingly up his neck, over the spiky tufts of dark hair and his body wilts in her tight embrace.

Sighing wearily, he picks his head up and touches his forehead to hers. Cupping his face, she brushes her fingers over the scratchy stubble lining his sunken cheeks and he gives her a rueful smile.

“Hey, I’ve been thinking. You okay with a one-armed husband?” he breathes. “Promise I can still love you just as hard.”

Tears streaming down her face, she returns his smile. “I love it. It makes you look dashing.”

“That’s exactly what I said,” he replies, pushing his nose against hers. Precious seconds slip by as they sit in silence, breathing each other in. Both trying their damndest to remember everything about the other, before they lose it all. Finally, she whispers her favorite words in his ear.

“I love you, Bucky.”

He hums contentedly and smiles. “I love you too. Don’t ever forget it, okay? I know I won’t.”

It takes every last drop of willpower for her not break down. Because he will forget. He will forget, and she will make certain that he does.

Rubbing her cheek against his, she presses her lips to the shell of his ear, giving him one more thing that the rest of the world cannot take. Something that is theirs, and theirs alone.

“You’re everything for me, Bucky Barnes. You’re the love of my life,” she murmurs, and he leans his head against her. When he opens his eyes, she finds an endless ocean of sadness pouring from the blue depths and he speaks quickly under his breath.

“Listen to me. Whatever happens, I need you to do something for me, okay?” The desperate urgency in his voice makes her heart skip. “No matter what happens, don’t you dare stay here. I can see it in your face honey, don’t you stay here, stuck in this room inside your head, thinking you could’ve done something different. You understand me?”

Swallowing hard, she tries to answer, but he cuts her off. The words are full of fear, holding a message he needs her to accept. “Please, I’m begging you. When you get out of here, you find a way to go on. Find a way to live.”

Losing him again will break her. That fact is as certain as the sun rising in the east.

There’s no way she can do this again, but in her heart, she knows that’s not what he needs. He needs her to agree, he needs her to try, and if she has to send his mind into a graveyard of buried memories, at least she can do this one thing for him.

She owes their love that much.

“I will,” she says. “I promise, I will.”

“That’s my girl,” he whispers with a tired smile. Staring into his eyes, she does everything she can to memorize the love she finds there, before Bucky gives her a crooked smile and tells her one more secret. “You know what? I don’t regret anything that happened. If I had to do it all over, I wouldn’t change one damn thing. It all led me to you, and I’ll remember every piece of us to the end. Because this kind of love, it never leaves. Right?”

“No, it never leaves,” she echoes. Placing her hands on his cheeks, she kisses him full on the mouth, tasting blood and salt and love, trying with her whole heart to carve even a small bit of herself into his bones.

Breaking the kiss, her heart plummets at the sight of his sweet smile.

Blinking away her tears, she takes a deep breath.

And then she tears her entire world apart.

Surprise fills Bucky’s face when he feels the heat begin to pulse from her hands, when he sees the soft glow of white light from her fingers. Watching her in confusion, his lips part as though he wants to say something, but no words come. Concentrating harder than she ever has before, she gathers everything, all those beautiful memories that make Bucky Barnes the man he has become and she wipes them all away.

All his stories about the Howling Commandos. That spring day he caught a foul ball at a Dodgers game. Steve Rogers’ floppy blond hair shining in the summer sun at Coney Island. The way his mother sang while she baked, and the fairytales he read his sister before bed. How he felt looking in the mirror the first time he put on his uniform, pale and scared to death. Watching a brilliant red sun sinking in the ocean, the day he sailed for England. Every memory he has of her. The thrill of their first kiss and the way she held his arm when he walked her home from church  and the first time they made love and how nervous he felt asking her to marry him.

How god damn much he loves her.

Every colorful memory he owns, she siphons away. Nothing is left behind, because this time, she can take no chances.

The white light burns hotter, so bright Bucky squeezes his eyes closed and still she watches him through it all, until finally, finally, finally -

She lets go.

Bucky slumps unconscious, his chin tucked to his chest. Pressing one final kiss to his forehead, her silent tears splash to the floor. She wants to stay forever, to be there when he opens his eyes, to force herself back into this new life, to make him remember her. To make him remember who they are together.

My god. Oh my god, what has she done.

Before she can say a word, the guards rip him from her arms. Dragging him away, his head lolls to the side and the last thing she sees, before they exit the room, are Bucky’s eyes beginning to flutter open.

“Wait -“ she says, panic filling every last cell in her body, “no, please wait, don’t - please, where are you taking him?”

“He has work to do,” Richter says dismissively.

Sick with heartbreak and drowning in regret, she remains kneeling on the floor, and every last piece of her soul shatters.

*****

Day later, there’s a screech of metal, and her door bangs open.

Richter saunters in, a length of cloth folded over his arm. Behind him, is the Hydra guard who escorted her from her cell last time, his gun cocked and aimed.

Caked in dried mud and an obscene amount of blood, the bright blue of Bucky’s Howlie jacket is nearly unrecognizable. The left arm is mostly torn away, the thick material hanging in ragged strips below the elbow. With a grunt, Richter tears away a piece of fabric at the shoulder and tosses it at her.

“Here. Thought you might want this,” he says coldly.

At her feet, the cloth looks dark and dirty, but in the midst of grimy blue, she sees the gray wings Bucky had sewn into his jacket sleeve. She remembers tracing her fingers over them, asking what they meant. Bucky had grinned, his chest swelling with a bit of pride, before he wove tales for her about the Howling Commandos. He glossed over their missions and focused on the men instead, and she remembers how wonderfully he could tell a story. The small bits of humor he found amid the bleakness of war painted a bright world for her to see.

Now, she picks it up, touching the rusty-red smudges lining the edges of the wings. She looks up at him.

“Why?”

Richter says nothing, but a grim smile pulls at his lips. He draws out the pause, savoring the expectation in her face, before carelessly dropping a bomb.

“Zola lost him during a routine experiment. He coded on the table. Guess we haven’t made our soldiers as durable as we need just yet.”

This bomb, it finishes the job Steve’s telegram began. For the second time, she learns the love of her life is dead and now there is nothing but cold emptiness where her heart used to be.

“We no longer require your services. We have a new machine that should work just fine,” he tilts his head, looking down at her. “But thank you for your help.”

Spinning on his heel, he shoves the remains of the blue coat at the guard still waiting in the doorway.

“Burn it,” he orders. “And leave her here to rot.”

The door bangs shut and the lock clicks with a sickening finality.

*****

No food. No water.

For two days, she hears footsteps marching back and forth in front of her door. Something seems to be happening, but through it all, no one pays attention to the woman locked in the cell at the end of the hall, waiting to die.

In her dreams, she sees Bucky strapped to a table exactly like the one they used for her. Was he scared? Did he go willingly or did he fight? Did it happen quickly? Did it hurt? Did he realize what was happening before his heart stopped?

Was there any part of him, maybe buried deep down, that loved her to the end?

She dismisses that last thought. No, of course there wasn’t. She made sure of that fact.

In a strange way, she finds a perverse relief in Bucky’s death. At least this way, he will never know how she betrayed him.

Perhaps if there is an afterlife, someday she can find him there and beg his forgiveness.

On the morning of the third day, sunlight flows through the rectangular window near the ceiling and she waits on her bed. For someone to come. Anyone. To save her. To kill her. Either would work, she’s not picky. Watching the slow crawl of sunlight move across the floor, she counts the minutes, until she notices something peculiar.

Silence.

Sitting up takes a massive effort and rising to her feet almost knocks her out. Knees wobbling dangerously, her sweaty hand presses to the wall for balance, and she stumbles to the door.

“Hello?” she croaks, but it comes as nothing more than a rough whisper. Wrapping her fingers around the bars of the door, she rests her forehead against the cold metal. Summoning her strength, she tries again. “Is anyone there?”

Silence.

No one answers. No lights illuminate the hallway. There is no hum of electricity, no sound of a distant radio playing, no raucous laughter. There is no one there.

So. They left her to die then.

Angry tears fill her eyes, and she bangs a weak fist on the door. Without expecting a solution, she grabs the door handle and rattles it, hot tears spilling over and streaking through the dirt on her cheeks.

But miraculously - the door opens.

Stepping cautiously into the doorway, she scans the hallway and finds nothing. Perplexed, she looks down and her confusion grows. Outside the door, a cloth bundle is propped against the wall. Crouching down, she hesitantly pulls at the loose knot and it falls open, revealing a loaf of bread, a wedge of cheese, two apples, and a cracked leather canteen full of water.

Common sense screams at her to think, but she throws caution to the wind. Grabbing the canteen with trembling fingers, she flips the lid and chugs the cold water. It has a dusty, alkaline taste, but she cries with relief. Tearing off a hunk of bread, she stuffs it in her mouth, her eyes drifting closed at the taste. It hits the hollowness in her belly so fast, she almost retches, but she manages to keep it down.

The rest, she wraps up in the cloth sack and hugs it to her chest.

She walks down the hall. Through a small office, down another hall.

With every step, she expects to be stopped. But nothing happens.

At the end of the hall, is a heavy black door. When she opens it, sunlight spills in and she takes a deep breath of fresh air.

From the outside, the base looks like a series of old buildings, but there is literally nothing else. No people. No vehicles. Nothing but the peppy chirp of birds warbling in the trees. For one brief moment, she stands in the morning light and thinks about giving up. Such a soothing thought.

But then the sound of Bucky’s voice fills her head.

Find a way to live.

The years that follow will be filled with devastating sadness, but beneath it all, she will hold these words close to her heart. She can do this for him.

So, she starts walking.

Down the ruts of the narrow access road leading away from the building, one foot in front of the other. She anticipates bullets hitting her from behind, but nothing happens. On she walks, through a forest of trees, one step after another. Into the open, where the access road joins up with a small country lane. She turns left and keeps going. Five slow miles she traipses along, until a town appears.

On the edge of the main street, she sees a small grocery store and walks inside. Covered in grime, shivering from head to toe, she tries to speak, but instead, she collapses. An older woman looks up from behind the counter, and her curls of thick black hair bounce when she rushes around the front counter shouting in Italian for help.

For two weeks, she stays there recovering, but no one comes.

In that sleepy Italian town, she finally understands.

After everything she has done, after everything they stole from her, after they broke her one last time - it appears that Hydra really was finished with her.

With freedom should come relief, but that is an emotion reserved for saints, not sinners like her. What she has done, she can never undo.

She will live with that fact, from now until the end of her days.

*****

Next Chapter

*****

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[chaolskingdom]

Throne of Glass Playlist/Songs thingy + SPOTIFY LINKS

So because I always search for these kinds of playlist posts when I am super deep in the fandom of something and I listen to a lot of songs that really remind me of the ToG series I thought I’d try to make one myself lol (Some songs may double if I feelk like they fit multiple Characters) If I wrote the Booktitles after the Songtitle it means that I thought of a specific scene when listening to the song so yeee…also feel free to message me with songs that I could add cause I really wish I could find some more for Rowan, Lysandra, Aedion, Elide etc.

(Click on the headers to get to the Spotify playlists!)

ACOTAR Playlist

ToG in General

Game of Survival - Ruelle (QoS, EoS)

Dead of Night - Ruelle (QoS)

Secrets and Lies - Ruelle

Hero - Ruelle

Monsters - Ruelle (QoS, EoS)

Madness - Ruelle

Home - AURORA (QoS)

Recover - Ruelle

Kings and Queens and Vagabonds - Ellem

Take it all - Ruelle (QoS, EoS)

Up in Flames - Ruelle (QoS, EoS)

Battlefield - SVARCINA (QoS, EoS)

Tomorrow We Fight - SVRCINA

Ready Aim Fire - Imagine Dragons (QoS, EoS, KoA I guess)

Heroes - Zayde Wolf

Warriors - Imagine Dragons

Heathens - Twenty One Pilots

Immortals - Fall Out Boy

Gold - Imagine Dragons

Mars - Sleeping at Last

Who We Are - Imagine Dragons

Atlas - Coldplay

Fleurie - Hurricane

This Ship Is Going Down - Xeah (QoS - KoA I guess)

Empires - Ruelle (QoS - KoA I guess)

Sound Off The Sirens - Sam Tinnesz (QoS - KoA I guess)

Heart of the Darkness - Sam Tinnesz

Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Lorde

Wolves - Sam Tinnesz ft. Silverberg

Breathe - Fleurie (EoS)

This is the Hunt - Ruelle (CoM, HoF, QoS, EoS)

Unstoppable - The Score

Live Like Legends - Ruelle

Kings - Tribe Society

Glory and Gore - Lorde (EoS)

Waves of Gray - Ruelle (EoS, KoA)

The Downfall - Ruelle (EoS - KoA)

Revolution- Unsecret ft. Ruelle (QoS - KoA)

United - Hidden Citizens (KoA I guess)

Devil in me - Halsey (literally fits almost every character)

North - Sleeping at last

Torches - x ambassadors

Fire Meets Fate - Ruelle (End of CoM - EoS)

When It’s All Over - RAIGN (EoS)

Silhouette - Aquilo (QoS-KoA)

Between The Wars - Allman Brown (QoS-KoA)

Wicked - Tommee Profitt (QoS - KoA)

Feel That Fire - Tommee Profitt (EoS - KoA)

Can’t Hold Us Down - Tommee Profitt 

One Eye Open - Tommee Profitt 

Do You Hear The People Sing - Les Misérables 

Rise - Leage of Legends (HoF - KoA)

Here We Stand - Hidden Citizens (EoS - KoA)

Onward & Upward - Tommee Profitt (EoS - KoA)

Noble Blood - Tommee Profitt

Undone - Tommee Profitt (QoS - KoA)

Sound of War - Tommee Profitt

We Have It All - Pim Stones

Celaena/Aelin

Runnin’ - Adam Lambert (HoF,QoS)

Warrior - AURORA

Runaway - AURORA

Rival - Ruelle

Revolution - Diplo

Revolution - The Score

Born Ready - Zayde Wolf

Champion - Barns Courtney

Street Fight - Adam Jensen

Beekeeper - Keaton Henson (Assassins Blade, ToG)

Little Pistol - Mother Mother (Assassins Blade)

Monster - Beth Crowley

Battle Cry - Imagine Dragons

Kill Everyone - Hollywood Undead (Assassins Blade)

Another Way Out - Hollywood Undead (Assassins Blade)

Glory and Gore - Lorde (Assassins Blade)

Whatever It Takes - Imagine Dragons

Look what you made me do - Taylor Swift

Yellow Flicker Beat - Lorde

A Little Wicked - Valerie Broussard

The Hate Inside - Sam Tinnesz

Play With Fire - Sam Tinnesz

Battle Cry - Beth Crowley

Will I Make It Out Alive - Jessie Early

Legends Are Made - Sam Tinnesz

My Domain - SVRCINA

These Roots - Grey

I'm Not Afraid - Wondra (espescially Assassins Blade)

Paint It, Black - Ciara (Assassins Blade)

When The Sun Goes Down - Laney Jones

Devil Devil - MILCK (to Arobynn)

The Devil Within - Digital Daggers (to Arobynn)

No More Heroes - Aviators

Castle - Halsey

Gasoline - Halsey

Invincible - Ruelle (EoS)

Hold Your Breath - Ruelle (EoS)

Until We Go Down - Ruelle (QoS - KoA)

Natural - Imagine Dragons

You Should See Me In A Crown - Billie Eilish

This Is My World - Esterly (QoS - KoA)

Ember - Katherine McNamara (toward Arobynn, The King)

New Blood - Zayde Wolf (QoS-KoA)

Glitter and Gold - Barns Courtney

I Apologize - Five Finger Death Punch (HoF)

Watch me - The Phantoms (QoS - EoS)

Silent Running - Hidden Citizens (HoF - KoA)

Survivor - 2WEI (HoF - KoA)

Far From Home - Sam Tinnesz

The Heart of the Raven - Mono Inc. (Celaenas farewell to Nehemia)

Risk It All - Mono Inc. (HoF - KoA)

Here I Am - Tommee Profitt

Gloria Regali - Tommee Profitt

Dorian

Bad Dream - Ruelle (QoS)

Dead of Night - Ruelle (QoS)

Deep End - Ruelle (QoS)

Hollow - Cloudeater (QoS)

Control - Halsey (QoS)

Monster - Starset (QoS)

Man or Monster - Sam Tinnesz ft. Zayde Wolf (QoS)

Bad Man - Esterly ft. Austin Jenckes (Hof,QoS also kinda EoS)

Run Boy Run - Woodkid

King - Lauren Aquilina

Lonely - Yoe Mase

Brother - Kodaline (BCS HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH CHAOL OH GOD)

Crossfire - Stephen

The Driver - Bastille

This Is My World - Esterly (EoS-KoA)

Silent Running - Hidden Citizens (EoS-KoA)

I Apologize - Five Finger Death Punch (EoS)

Survivor - 2WEI (EoS)

Risk It All - Mono Inc.

Here I Am - Tommee Profitt (EoS - KoA)

Gloria Regali - Tommee Profitt

Chaol

Bad Dream - Ruelle (HoF,QoS)

Crossfire - Stephen

We must be Killers - Mikky Ekko

Shattered - Trading Yesterday (ToD)

I’ll Be Good - James Young (ToD)

The Downfall - Ruelle (EoS, QoS)

The Draw - Bastille

Infinitesimal - Mother Mother

All The Kings Horses - Karmina

The Driver - Bastille

Lonely - Yoe Mase

Same Mistake-James Blunt

Nothing Left - Beth Crowley (End of CoM)

You're Somebody Else - Flora Cash (to Aelin End of CoM, QoS)

Brohter - Kodaline (AGAIN BCS DORIAN)

Breaking Inside - Shinedown

Who Are You, Really? - Mikky Ekko (end of CoM - QoS)

Wrong Side of Heaven - Five Finger Death Punch (HoF)

I Apologize - Five Finger Death Punch (HoF - QoS)

Risk It All - Mono Inc. (HoF, QoS)

No One’s Here To Sleep - Naughty Boy

Deep End - Ruelle (HoF, QoS)

Manon

Whose side are you on - Ruelle (EoS)

Battle Cry - Beth Crowley (EoS)

A Little Wicked - Valerie Broussard (HoF, QoS)

The Downfall - Ruelle (EoS)

Running With The Wolves - AURORA

Monster - Beth Crowley

Go To War - Nothing More

Battle Cry - Imagine Dragons

What I’ve Done - Linkin Park

Monster - Starset

Man or Monster - Sam Tinnesz ft. Zayde Wolf

I'm Not Afraid - Wondra

No More Heroes - Aviators

My Domain - SVRCINA

Two Evils - Bastille

Viva La Vida - Coldplay

Natural - Imagine Dragons

This Is My World - Esterly (EoS)

Ember - Katherine McNamara (EoS)

New Blood - Zayde Wolf (EoS)

Watch Me - The Phantoms

Glitter and Gold - Barns Courtney

Ready Set Let’s Go - Sam Tinnesz (EoS)

You Should See Me In A Crown - Billie Eilish

Wrong Side of Heaven - Five Finger Death Punch (EoS)

I Apologize - Five Finger Death Punch (EoS)

Risk It All - Mono Inc. (EoS)

No One’s Here To Sleep - Naughty Boy

Here I Am - Tommee Profitt

Witching Hour - Tommee Profitt (EoS)

Aedion

Meet me on the Battlefield - SVRCINA

Warriors - Imagine Dragons

Believer - Imagine Dragons

Thunder - Imagine Dragons

Control - Halsey

Today We Rise - Galavant 

Iron - Woodkid (THIS FITS SO WELL I WANT TO CRAWL MY EYES OUT)

Soldier - Fleurie

Casualty - Hidden Citizens

Natural - Imagine Dragons

This Is My World - Esterly

I Apologize - Five Finger Death Punch

Wrong Side of Heaven - Five Finger Death Punch

Far From Home - Sam Tinnesz

Risk It All - Mono Inc. (HoF)

Winter’s Song - Tommee Profitt (Bcs of his loyality to Aelin)

Others

Meet me on the Battlefield - SVRCINA (Elide)

Blame - Bastille (Arobynn)

Something Wild - Lindsey Stirling (Elide)

Unbreakable - Nick Howard (Elide)

These Roots - Grey (Elide)

I know your secrets - Tommee Profitt (Lysandra/Celaena toward Arobynn

The Devil Within - Digital Daggers (Lysandra/Celaena toward Arobynn)

Welcome To Hell - Mono Inc. (Lysandra/Celaena toward Arobynn)

My Domain - SVRCINA (Lysandra)

Team - Lorde (Aelins Court)

The ones that like me - Brantley Gilbert (Gavriel)

Two Evils - Bastille

Ships  (All Ships)

Rowaelin

Bring me back to life - Extreme Music 

Lover.Fighter. - SVARCINA 

Wildfire - Seafret 

Beautiful Mess - Kristian Kostov

Find You - Ruelle (end of EoS, KoA I guess)

Warrior - Beth Crowley 

Carry You - Ruelle

Pieces - Red

Even if it Hurts - Sam Tinnesz

Wicked Game - Ursine Vulpine  

Remembering myself - Stephen (HoF)

Burning Heart - SVRCINA (HoF)

Brave - Riley Pearce

Hold on for your Life - Tommee Profitt (EoS/KoA)

Winter’s Song - Tommee Profitt

Remembrance - Tommee Profitt

Chaolaena

Walk Through The Fire - Zayde Wolf ft. Ruelle (CoM)

Remembering myself - Stephen (CoM)

The Scientist - Coldplay

Let Her Go - Passenger 

Sorry - Halsey

Better now - Etham (after CoM)

The Other Side - Ruelle (after CoM)

Wicked Game - Ursine Vulpine   

Talk - Kodaline

Dynasty - MIIA

Tearing us Apart - Honora 

Already Gone - Sleeping at Last

Celorian

Let it die - Starset

Young God - Halsey 

I can’t make you love me - Dave Thomas Junior (ToG, CoM)

Wicked Game - Ursine Vulpine    

Sam X Celaena

Dark on me - Starset

Die for you - Starset 

Hymn For The Missing - Red 

So I thought - Flyleaf

Still here - Digital Daggers

Hold My Girl - George Ezra

We Have It All - Pim Stones

Chaol X Yrene

Pieces - Red

Even if it Hurts - Sam Tinnesz 

Fix You - Coldplay 

My Demons Acoustic - Starset

Dusk Till Dawn - Zayn ft. Sia 

Next to me - Imagine Dragons 

Carry You - Ruelle

Wicked Game - Ursine Vulpine

Weight - Crywolf   

Remembering myself - Stephen   

I Found - Amber Run

Can You Hold Me - NF

Smokestacks - Layla

Brave - Riley Pearce

Hold My Girl - George Ezra 

Heal - Tom Odell

Winter’s Song - Tommee Profitt

Remembrance - Tommee Profitt

Dorian X Sorsha

Another Love - Tom Odell 

Saturn - Sleeping at last 

Weight - Crywolf

Hurts like Hell - Fleurie

Wicked Game - Ursine Vulpine    

Carry You - Ruelle

Can You Hold Me - NF

Hold My Girl - George Ezra

Heal - Tom Odell

Where’s My Love - SYML

In My Veins - Andrew Belle

Manorian

Dixie Boy - April Smith

Play me like a violin - Stephen

Come Fly With Me - Ruelle

Wicked Game - Ursine Vulpine  

I Found - Amber Run

War of Hearts - Ruelle 

bury a friend - Billie Eilish

Midnight Oil - Tommee Profitt

Other Ships

Brother - Kodaline (Dorian and Chaols friendship lol, also Aedion and Aelins friendship)

Talk - Kodaline (Dorian and Chaols Friendship in CoM, HoF)

Unsteady - x ambassadors (Lysaedion)

Weight - Crywolf (Elide x Lorcan)

This gets updated regularly! ~ Last Updated: February 15th 2021

~Chaolskingdom