#he's yappin bout somethin or other

[ok-pop-1]

those closing shifts hit different tho

a very tired lady devoid from @kianamaiart's i don't wanna be a magical girl c:

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Blind Love Chapter 22

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there

Jude: —You’ve been shortenin’ your lifespan by testin’ on yourself.

(—Huh?)

I immediately turned heel and went back into the hallway.

(What did Jude say just now)

(...Roger…on himself…)

My heart was pounding.

I still wanted to hear the rest so I eavesdropped by the door.

Roger: …Oh? Al’s directly asked me before, but it’s the first time you are. How’d you come to that conclusion?

Jude: We went to beat up a mafia boss dealin’ cannabis once.

Roger: Yeah, that casino owner with the wild beard.

~~ Flashback ~~

Casino owner: Life’s a game! Let’s make a bet on who dies here, us or you!

Jude: The hell ya yappin’ ‘bout, just go die.

Roger: Heh, hey now. So, if life’s on the line, you gonna have us play a fun game?

Casino owner: I have two glasses here. One’s tequila, the other’s poison.

Roger: So picking the poison means death.

Casino owner: Yes, that’s right. Since I’m a gentleman, I’ll let you choose first.

Jude: We ain’t stupid enough to fall for such an obvious trap—Huh? The hell you doin’?

Roger: What? Just choosing like he said. I chose a safe one. Now, how about you drink the poison.

~~ End flashback ~~

Roger couldn’t help but burst into laughter as he recalled the past.

Roger: Pfft, hahaha. He was shaking so much he couldn’t drink. What a masterpiece.

Jude: Back then, I didn’t take the bet ‘cause I knew it was a trap. Ya could tell by the color of the glasses that they were both poisoned.

Roger: … You’re always looking out for others. You love me, don’t you?

Jude: Keep your ego to yourself.

Roger: Yeah, you’re right. I’ve been experimenting on myself. Makes me immune to most drugs and poisons. You could say I’m borrowing my own life…Well, don’t think I’m gonna live as long as others.

Jude: Shortenin’ your own lifespan to save the Cursed. Haaa, hypocritical self-gratification*.

Roger: Would’ve made it more presentable if it was, but it’s not like I had a choice. It was hard to find Cursed Ones before I joined Crown. When I needed one to test on, I only had myself. That’s all. A former doctor should take care of himself. That’s why I started working out.

Jude: I couldn’t care less if ya lived or died. If ya wanted to live, ya wouldn’t be ‘ere. However.

Roger: But?

Jude: Ain’t that princes gonna cry or somethin’?

Roger: Huh?

Jude walked away from Roger and pushed the door open.

Jude: …Don’t forget that people feel a void when someone they care ‘bout passes.

Jude muttered something as he disappeared past the door.

Roger: …”I heard you”, Jude. …Thanks for the warning.

Even after Jude had left, I stayed still behind the curtain.

(...Roger’s borrowing from his own lifespan and doesn’t have much longer to live)

(No way…)

--

I couldn’t bring myself to face Roger when I was in this state…

I finally let out a breath after finding a place where I could be alone.

However, the chaos in my mind didn’t quiet down.

(...Oh yeah. There was something that didn’t feel right)

~~ Flashback ~~

It was back when we went undercover at that village led by the Spirit God where Roger synthesized a treatment for tetanus.

 Roger didn’t hesitate to take it himself to conduct a clinical trial.

He didn’t let Liam be the test subject.

~~ End flashback ~~

(...He had to have known the side-effects would’ve been minor, or else he wouldn’t have done it)

Like Jude said, a “safe and guaranteed tomorrow” is far beyond Roger’s consideration while living in the dark as Crown.

That’s something I understood the moment I became Fairytale Keeper.

(But, I wonder why…)

—Why did I think our days of laughing and bantering would last forever?

—Why did it feel like Roger would always be there with me?

(...I see. That’s why Roger gave me a final trial)

Roger was still human.

I definitely would’ve been hurt if I found out after we became lovers.

(That’s why—he’s waiting to the last moment to let go)

Kate: …

I was so grief-stricken that my legs gave out on the spot.

Ale: Arf arf.

Kate: Ale…why…

Ale came running over and propped his forepaws on my lap in worry.

Kate: Did you perhaps run after me?

I smiled as Ale looked at me with his large, round eyes.

Kate: …I see, thank you. Ale, did you know that Roger won’t live long?

Ale: Woof!

Kate: …I became aware of it just now. It’s cruel how Roger would leave us when we love him so much. Did he even intend to make me his lover…

Ale: Woof!

Kate: Hehe, is that a “YES” or a “NO”?

But, even if I didn’t understand Ale’s answer,

As he listened to me, my mind that was reeling from shock started to calm down.

(Huh…? It’s true that I’m feeling sad, but other than that)

(...For some reason…I’m getting really, really angry…)

Kate: If I knew this was going to happen…

I wish he left me alone

I wish he never pushed me around +4 +4

I wish he never did all those lewd things to me

Kate: I wish he never pushed me around, ugh! That self-centered egoist!

Ale: Woof?!

Kate: And yet…I let him do whatever he wanted. I told him I loved him, and now he wants to let me go!

(I can’t be apart from Roger anymore)

Kate: I will never let you do that, Roger Barel! 

Ale barked cheerfully as if to give encouragement when I stood up.

Ale: Arf arf arf!

Kate: I’ve become stronger and I’m not going to let this discourage me.

(It’s true that Roger might not live for much longer)

(But no one knows what the future has in store for us)

(Also, there’s a chance that being together can extend his lifespan, even if it’s just by a day.

(In order to do that…)

I’ll need to successfully avoid the “farewell” from Roger’s final trial.

Kate: Now that I’ve made my decision…let’s go, Ale!

--

Ale and I eagerly burst into Victor’s office.

Kate: Victor. The month we agreed on is almost up. So before it’s over, I’d like to make a request. That being—

And so, when Victor heard my “request”, he said—

Victor: Pfft, haha…You’ve really become tainted by evil. Okay, I am fully on board with your proposal.

Roger didn’t know about this conversation between Victor and me…

--

Back at the lab, we had finally made what we were striving for.

Roger: …The antidote’s complete.

Kate: You did it, Roger!

Roger: Yeah, you were a great help. Thanks, Kate.

We smiled at each other, feeling happy and satisfied that the antidote was complete.

But then my smile fade…at the thought of what we were about to do.

(From this moment—)

“Condemnation” begins.

--

To start…

The doctors and Privy council that Victor and William had locked up were now gathered in a room in the palace.

They were all handcuffed, but like the rumors said, the poison had affected their central nervous system, making them all groan and pants like beasts.

(...They’re suffering)

Roger: …

Roger silently looked down at the kneeling criminals who were unable to stand.

Listening to the heavy breathing of the people poisoned was unbearable.

But there was no room for mercy given what they’ve done.

Privy Council Lord: …Haaa…Ugh…Did you call us here…to mock us?

Royal Hospital doctor: …Haaa…help us…

Roger: We went through the trouble of getting you out of jail. Kate.

Kate: Right. Do you know what’s in these test tubes?

I pulled a test tube out of the tray and held it in front of them.

Kate: …This is an antidote that Roger made.

Privy Council Lord: I-it’s…real!

Roger: Yeah, and the efficacy’s been tested. You’ll feel relief within 30 minutes of taking it.

Privy Council Lord: Haa…hurry up and hand it over!

They couldn’t even stand, and no matter how far they stretched their hands out, they couldn’t reach us.

Roger: Who said I’d just give it you you?

Pricy Council Lord: …What…did you say…?

Roger: Privy Council. You lot stole my life’s worth of research materials by threatening an unrelated party. And you doctors from Gracefield Royal Hospital. You hired funeral directors to kill people for research specimens. There’s a whole bunch of other crimes that keep turning up.

Privy Council Lord: …We

Roger: “We haven’t committed any crimes.” “We, the Privy Council gain Her Majesty’s favor and bring prosperity to Britain.” “We doctors will advance medicine in Britain with our experiments.”

…Is that what you wanted to say?

It appeared that everything Roger said in their place was correct. They looked at us with eyes full of hatred.

Roger ignored them and continued.

Roger: Those are some fine ambitions, and we wouldn’t be able to thank you enough. …However I’ll never forgive anyone who uses their ambitions to justify devaluing human life.

Roger: Kate.

Kate: On it, Roger.

I raised the tray of test tubes with the medicine.

Privy Council Lord: Y-you can’t possibly be…

Royal Hospital doctor: D-don’t…!

They screamed—I slammed the tray down as hard as I could.

The test tubes shattered, glass and liquid spread everywhere on the floor.

Royal Hospital doctor: Ahh…

Privy Council Lord: What did you do…

Their faces turned pale and they tried to sip the antidote from off the floor, but the liquid had already soaked into the carpet and there was nothing they could do about it.

Roger: Die a miserable death. That’s the only kind that suits you wretches. 

That sort of “despair” suited them.

But then—

Roger: …Just kidding.

Next

-

*Here, Jude says オナニープレイ (onani play). Onanism means the pull-out method, but is also now synonymous with (male) masturbation

[cantstoplovingjude]

Underneath the Black Veil: Jude Jazza Ch.1

This is from Ikemen Villains EN, Cybird owns everything.

Victor: "Hey, Jude. What do you think about marriage?"

Jude: "Huh? Gettin' hitched?"

(Please, can't you discuss that topic without me?)

Some time had passed since I began working as Crown's Fairytale Keeper.

One day, I happened to run into Jude in the palace library.

He was clearly ignoring my presence, so I tried not to make eye contact with him while I chose a book.

But then Victor showed up and started asking Jude weird questions.

(I'll apologize to Victor later, but I'm going to make my exit now before I get into any trouble...)

I already knew well enough that Jude was a bit of a sadist.

I quietly began to sneak out of the library, hoping to escape before Victor brought me into it.

Victor: "That's right, marriage."

Jude: "Any lifetime contract that can't be canceled's foul."

Jude: "Ain't got a clue how anyone'd do somethin' like that willingly."

Victor: "Hm, I see!"

Victor: "Well, there's something I need to discuss with you, actually."

Victor: "I'm going to need you to marry Kate, Jude."

Jude: "Huh?!"

Kate: "M-me?!"

Victor: "Shh! This is a library, you two!"

According to Victor...

He and William had been investigating a religious cult called Amour, whose leader claimed he could bestow eternal love on his followers.

It was currently a hot topic here in London among couples.

However, according to rumors, around half of the followers never returned home.

Victor: "We suspect that someone in Amour is murdering the couples. William and I are 100% certain that this is an evil organization."

Victor: "However, the police are having a difficult time getting any evidence, as they're located on private property belonging to a noble."

Kate: "And that's where we come in."

Victor: "Precisely! So, I want you two to go there this weekend."

(I know I agreed to work with Crown, but isn't this asking a bit too much...?)

Victor: "Your mission is to capture the leader and take care of him so that no one else dies."

Victor: "Oh, and to avoid any suspicions, you'll have to act like you're an engaged couple that's madly in love."

Kate: "Engaged couple..."

The extra request he added on was so ridiculous I was left speechless.

Jude: "Yeah. I ain't doin' that. Gonna hafta get someone else to marry the bird."

Victor: "You know. I don't hate the fact that you always refuse the first time I ask you to do something. It's rather charming, actually."

Jude: "Ya wanna get buried?"

Victor: "I'd actually love to be the one who goes on the mission pretending to be Kate's beloved companion."

Victor: "But I'm asking you because Her Majesty nominated you for the job herself."

Victor: "She thought with your superior negotiation skills and various other talents, you can lure the leader out and dispose of him quickly."

Jude: "Sounds to me like Queenie's off her rocker."

Kate: "Wh-what an utterly disrespectful thing to say about the queen!"

Jude: "What, ya want in on this lunacy? Then quit your yappin'."

Victor: "I'll arrange everything. I'm counting on you!"

Victor gave me a cheerful wink and practically skipped out of the room, leaving me dumbfounded.

(Jude and I are going to have to go undercover together...)

It was an order from the queen herself, so there was no way I could say no.

But honestly, I was more frightened of the person standing next to me than of some murderous cult.

Jude: "Tch... Thought you'd cry or yell more. Disappointin'."

Kate: "What?"

Jude: "Maybe if ya put up more of a fuss, he woulda talked Queenie outta it."

Kate: "Hey, don't blame me for not saying no to an order!"

Jude: "Yappin' 'bout it now ain't gonna do nothin'. What a useless princess."

And so, a very difficult undercover investigation began.

==========

Follower: "Welcome to Amour!"

We stood in front of a church on the outskirts of London as one of the followers welcomed us in.

(I can't believe this is really happening...)

The whole way here, Jude just silently read through documents with a cigarette in his mouth.

We hadn't discussed how we would pretend to be an engaged couple at all...

(Seriously, what should we do?)

Follower: "First, we shall conduct a test to see if you two are truly in love."

Kate: "A test...?"

Follower: "Yes, it's quite simple. All you have to do is embrace and kiss."

Kate: "... What?"

(Embrace and... kiss? With JUDE?!)

I didn't even want to repeat that sentence in my mind, let alone actually do it.

Jude: "......"

Meanwhile, Jude didn't even raise an eyebrow.

Jude: "First off, lemme make somethin' real clear."

Jude: "I ain't gonna lay a finger on her till the ceremony."

(Huh?!)

Follower: "P-pardon me?"

Jude: "She likes bein' ignored. That's what gets her goin'. Real into it, this one."

(What?!)

Jude: "Ain't that right, princess?"

(I guess this is the story he's going with to avoid having to do anything physical?)

Jude: "Why're ya bein' so quiet for, huh? Oh, I get it. You're poutin' 'cause ya wanna get punished again."

Jude: "Sure love it when I'm mean to ya, huh."

Kate: "...Y-yes, I do."

(Wait, I didn't really mean to say yes to that.)

(But... if I don't go along with his story, the followers will get suspicious. I don't want to be the reason we fail the mission.)

When I nodded, Jude snorted with laughter.

Jude: "Nasty lil bird."

(You're the one who's nasty!!)

Jude: "Anyway, that's the story. Got it?"

Follower: "Um, well... I must say, this is the first time we've had a case like this..."

The followers were completely bewildered, but also intimidated by Jude's forceful attitude.

Jude: "Huh? Anyone can go 'round touchin' each other to try 'n prove their love."

Jude: "But this gal likes it when I bully her 'n I like exploitin' all that for her. So we're perfect for each other, yeah?"

Follower: "I-I see...?"

(He's actually convincing them...)

The followers looked confused, but quietly began consulting with each other.

They turned toward us, still looking mildly skeptical.

Follower: "We will allow you to enter, but will be keeping an eye on you for a while."

Follower: "While you're here, you must prove to us that you two are truly in love."

Follower: "And if you do so, our leader will grant you the honor of swearing eternal love to one another."

End Ch.1

[scriv3lloirl]

mr scriv3lloirl do you have any tips on drawing chubby orin 🙏🙏🙏

"Mr Scriv3lloirl"? Heh. Y'ur funny. But y'all can jus call me Orin (or Sen, I s'pose. But Orin is really preferred.)

I'll be yappin a whole ton, so check under the cut fer' the lengthy response I'm boutta givin ya.

I ain't the best at givin art advice or tips, so bear wit me if I end up talkin bout random shit.

I have Aphantasia, look it up if ya don't know what it is, so references are my one true love. My phone gallery is constantly full of art pose, tips n things I find online cus the way an artist drew or explained somethin was/is super helpful.

The biggest tip I can give is references.

I also tend t' use m'self as reference for how I draw Orin too! Cus the way I draw Orin is near identical t' my own endomorph/pear body type so it's real easy t' throw on a tight shirt n snap a picture or two of the pose I wanna draw Orin in, instead of scourin the damn interweb for a pose that's somewhat similar instead of exact.

Lookin at fanart helps too! Ya might have t' go diggin round for some fat Orin art, but I've found plenty here on Tumblr so it isn't impossible.

Usin only circles, I find, gives the body a bloated appearance instead of jus fat. Fat sags! so give it that gravity.

Ovals are better than circles anyway, but that doesnt mean they aren't useful. Jus don't use circles ev'rywhere on a body when shapin it out cus usin jus plain circles can seem inappropriate n fatphobic in a way or make the character look off. There are plen'y of other shapes t' use when drawin fat, plus size, or chubby characters.

You don't jus have t' use round shapes, but the reason why they are used so often is t' give a softer appearance.

Fat can be distributed in bodies differently everywhere, so again, references help tons!

My Orin has wide hips, big thighs n arms, smaller shoulders, fat tits. He's not meant t' be perceived as thin in any way, shape, or form. He's not meant t'be perceived as young either.

Eve'ytime I draw Orin, he's always intended t' be older as when Steve Martin played Orin in the movie, he was in his 40s, so now my version is middle-aged (38-42.) His age also plays a big part in his body type n how I draw it. He has wrinkles near his eyes n deep eyebags plus a few other things that give him a more longer face. All these older features can also play a part in his larger build. Which they do.

The little details are important. Don't flake out on drawin the lil squishes n rolls when skin touches. But don't over do it with the folds, it'll look.. well. Not good.

But you also don't wanna add too much detail at the same time, y'know?

I have more difficulty drawin fat in the face than in the rest of the body as I'm still learnin n practicin, so apologies for not bein able t' give as good advice there for ev'rythin else. One thing I can say, however, is when you draw the neck? Draw it thicker than you normally would.

Yea, so. I think that's it? This is all the advice n such I could think of, hopefully I didn't jus go in circles. Hope this helped a lil, Anon!!

TL;DR - Use a lot of references for fat bodies, n practice makes perfect.

[musicnoots]

Stay

Bill Guarnere/Reader

Synopsis: Turns out you aren’t the only one having difficulty sleeping when Bill shows up with the same issue.

Tags: @gottapenny @dustyjjumpwings @higgles123 @croatianbagudna @wexhappyxfew

You slept. Peacefully and soundly, a small snore escaping your slightly parted lips as you lay on your side. Small gusts of wind from the ajar window running between the blanket and your body making you pull the covers even closer.

You were asleep. That was until you suddenly woke up, heaving and sweating through the chilly night in Holland. You were a mess, tearing rolling down your face because you couldn’t stop thinking about him. Imagining how he died as you read that letter, realizing that he isn’t in this world anymore. Was he shot in the head? Grenade? Shrapnel? Machine-gunned? God, no. You hope it’s not that. You can’t take the imagine of him lying lifeless on some island, bullets riddling his body.

Small whimpers escape your lips when you let your imagination get the best of you, your heart wanting to get rid of all the blood and gore from your mind. You want to feel pure and clean as fresh linen sheets, but you’re stuck in this dirty world known as war and you can’t escape no matter how bad you want to. You knew what you were getting into. You want to think of the happy memories with him, your brother, but you can only think of the ways he could have died. The image of him lying lifeless on the ground, his last thoughts being that of—

“Y/N.”

You snap out of your trance and look over to the door, seeing none other than Bill Guarnere. Wild Bill. Your favorite boy from Philly.

He welcomes himself into your room, hair tousled and messy, and his eyes begging for sleep. “Can’t sleep either?”

You shake your head. “What time is it?”

“Two a.m. or somethin’ like that. You okay?” He notices your shiny cheeks from the dried tears, and you immediately touch them, realizing how much you actually cried.

“Yeah...yeah, I’m okay. What about you? Why can’t you sleep?”

“Can’t stop thinking about somethin’ I don’t wanna think about.” It’s his brother. He remembers when he found out—reading Johnny’s letter when he accidentally got it. The pang of shock of hurt running through his body was a familiar feeling tonight, he felt it the moment he woke up in cold sweat. He wanted to dream of nice women from Philly, not his dead brother.

Bill Guarnere is one of the most trustworthy men you’ve met in Easy. While his wild persona doesn’t radiate it, you’ve found comfort in him back in Toccoa. The first time was when you got a Dear John letter from your ex-boyfriend who left you for your neighbor. Bill saw you leave the mess hall in tears and ran over to tell you that your ex-boyfriend didn’t deserve someone as pretty as you. The second time was in Aldbourne where Sobel told you that you were going to be the first person to die in the jump because you were a woman. Bill reassured you that you weren’t going to die at all because you were one of the strongest people he’s ever met. The third time was right before the jump when he learned that his brother had died in Italy. You were the only person he’s told.

“Is it your brother?” you ask quietly, almost a whisper, not wanting to invoke a reaction from mentioning his brother.

He nodded sadly. “Yeah.”

“You don’t have to tell me about it, if you don’t want to,” you say, your eyes looking at him in comfort. Bill was always a tough guy in front of the men, but you were the only person to know his softer side. You were never judgemental about it, just supportive and he was grateful to have that.

Bill walked closer to the side of the bed and looked back up at you. “Can I?”

“Yeah.” You scoot over and open the blankets to a spot next to you, and Bill freezes.

“Oh, I was thinkin’ about sitting on the edge of the—“

“Shit, sorry. I didn’t—“

He doesn’t wait for you to finish your answer because he takes the blanket from your failing arms and climbs in. His face is close to yours now, closer than he’s ever been to you physically. He is so close that you could just kiss him. “I can’t stop thinking about it. I know it’s been a couple months now, and I should be over it, but I had a dream about him.”

“Was it good or bad?”

“I...I don’t know,” he sighs. “We were back in Philly, my brother and I. We were home. We were racin’ to the ice cream parlor down the street while my ma was yellin’ at us to slow down. It was hot, too. At some point, he tripped and fell, and when I went to help him up, all of a sudden I was seein’ him lying dead in Monte Cassino.” A pained took over his face, and he immediately hung his head low, not wanting you to see him so hurt. He was Bill Guarnere, he was supposed to be tough and stubborn to the core. “What ‘bout you? What’s on your mind?”

“My brother’s dead.”

Bill’s head shot up and he stared at you like you just announced you were pregnant. “Shit…”

You never talked a lot about your brother to the other guys. The most you’ve ever said was that he was a year older and that he’d enlisted a two days before you did. Bill knew the most about your brother, but he never pressed for more information. He understood your privacy and stood his ground. “I opened the letter from my mom last night. He died not too long ago.”

Silence filled the room once Bill processed the information that had been relayed right in front of him. It turns out that the reason why you and Bill couldn’t sleep weren’t so different. It was the grieving of your dead brothers. Bill’s pain was much more long term and persistent while yours just kicked in with a sharp knife to your chest. He thought no one in Easy would ever feel the pain of losing a sibling while serving, but he wasn’t alone.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, “I never knew him, but I bet he was a really good person.”

“He was. I just feel bad for my mom because both her babies are—were serving in the war. Now, one of them’s dead and the other’s in Europe.”

“Your brother, was he...was he in the army like us?” he whispers, wondering if he died in Europe somewhere, possibly closer than he thought.

You shook your head. “No, he enlisted for the marines. He was sent to the Pacific.”

“Shit—sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

“It’s okay, Bill.”

Bill didn’t have a lot to say, just like how you were when he told his brother was dead. He didn’t want to invoke an irrational reaction from mentioning your dead brother, but he also wanted to know. You were a phenomenal soldier and an exquisite person, he imagined your brother was the same. Whenever you talked about him to Bill, your eyes would light up and sparkle as if you were under the streetlights back home. Your lips would curl into a smile and Bill’s heart would melt from seeing you so happy.

He sighed, shifting to lay on his side, not knowing that you would be facing the same way. “Did you dream about him?”

“Yeah...I kept dreaming about how he died ‘cause I have no idea how he did. I keep seeing him lying dead on the ground of some island in the Pacific over and over again. Bullets all over the place and his body in a puddle of his blood.”

“Looks like we aren’t that different after all.”

“Seems so.”

An uncomfortable silence passes by, something you’re not used to with Bill. Usually, you two are talking for hours on end, yet, you both are silent. Bill clears his throat to speak, and you look up. “Hey, Y/N?”

“Mm?”

“Are you scared?”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Scared of what?”

“The war. Dying in the war,” he says. “‘Cause I am. I know it looks like I’m not scared of shit, but I’m scared of dyin’ and never seeing any of this ever again. Like, one day is going to be my last and I won’t know.”

“Yeah,” you say, finally overcoming the panic you woke up with minutes earlier, “I’m scared. After I read that letter, I always wonder if I’m next. Y’know, my brother’s dead, and I might be next for all I know. I won’t even get to go home and see my family again.”

“It’s scary. Scary shit. And I’m not even supposed to be scared of anythin’, but I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared, ever since I found out.” Bill doesn’t have a problem admitting that to you because he knows that you’re understanding. He has no idea how he came across such a great person, but there’s nothing he’d trade you for. He can be as real as he wants with you, and you’d still treat him the same as everyone else. “I ain’t scared of being shot at all, Krauts can shoot at me all they want, but I just don’t want to die. Y’know what I mean?”

“I do, Bill. I don’t want to die, either. I don’t think anybody does. I guess, after reading that letter, I’m more conscious of where I am now. I just want to come home after all of this is over. I don’t wanna be buried in a foreign country.”

“I wanna go home, too.”

“What do you think they’re doin’ back home?”

He shrugs. “Ma’s probably makin’ dinner while listening to one of my sisters talk about this guy she’s been seein’, and I don’t like him one bit. My brothers are probably yappin’ ‘bout the Phillies and shit and then my Ma would yell at them to shut up ‘cause she can’t hear my sister’s story.”

“I miss my mom.”

“Me too. Y’know she made me go back and finish high school?”

“Really?”

“Yeah! Even after I got a job makin’ railroad locomotives, she still made me go back and finish. Like, what was the point of that? I had six months! I know she wanted—“

“Okay, okay,” you laughed, “maybe we should go to sleep. It’s getting really late, and I’d hate to be dead tired tomorrow.”

“Okay, fine.” Bill was actually enjoying the small conversation you had going—it was much better than tossing and turning in his bed, waiting for slumber to take over his world. He was about to slip out of the covers and leave back to his own bed, but he stopped and paused for a brief moment. “Y/N, do you mind if I?”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “If you what?”

“God damn, you’re really makin’ me say it—” he sighed, “do you mind if I stay here with you? Just for tonight, though. I just don’t feel like goin’ back and—”

“Yeah, ‘course you can.” You smiled and pulled the blanket over your shoulders, looking over at Bill who looked uncomfortable facing the ceiling. “Bill? Do you mind if I....if you could just...hold me?”

He looked at you as if you said the most complex word in the world, as if you said that you loved him, and as if you said that you were going home. Bill had nothing against you and holding you, but he’d never come across such a request from you.

“Yeah. Get ova’ here.”

You scooted forward and snuggled into Bill’s chest. Your head fits perfectly under his chin, his hands rests on the cup of your back, the other on your hip while your cheeks is smushed up against his chest. You can hear Bill’s heartbeat, something that didn’t seem intimate in the book that definitely felt like you were back in high school with your first ever crush. You never noticed the split second Bill’s body tensed up when you touched him, it felt like he scooped you up with no problem at all, and you wished for it to last forever.

Bill smiled above you. He knew that you didn’t know, that’s why he did it. He doesn’t know when to let you know. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the day after. Next week? Definitely not tonight.

Tonight was something he may never get to experience again.

“Y’know, you’re the kind of girl my ma wants me to bring home,” he said.

Your lips curl into a small smile. “Really?”

“Yeah, and you’re the kind of girl I want to bring home. Good night, Y/N.”