#he's trying so hard to pretend he doesn't like anakin

[tideswept]

WIP Wednesday

Still deciding on whether to split this into two chapters or post as one whole thing BUT BEHOLD: age reversal Obikin with PadObi and Senator!Anakin for 🎇spice.✨

"Do you have a death wish?"

Skyewalker blinked one eye up at Obi-Wan, the other hidden under a gingerly held ice pack. "Not particularly,” he replied nonchalantly. 

“Then why the kar—” Obi-Wan’s teeth snapped shut, face fraught and rigid with frustration. He couldn't swear at a Senator. No matter how much of a menace, a travesty, or a ridiculous man masquerading at respectability he might be.

Skywalker wisely chose to remain quiet. A dark smear of blood marred the corner of his mouth on the opposite side of the blooming black eye. Outraged at losing the race, that same Trandoshan who’d thrown the first punch had followed up with a jab. If Obi-Wan hadn’t intervened, Skywalker would have been in trouble—and for what? The thrill of a race? Boredom? Restlessness?

All of the above?

And to think that all this had been meant to be a straightforward assignment while Qui-Gon attended to personal business. Adrift, masterless, Obi-Wan had been itching for something to do when Master Windu had asked if he would be willing to provide protection for a new Senator who had been receiving death threats.

Obi-Wan, more fool he, had agreed. But he hadn’t known. There was no way he could have known that his biggest headache would turn out to be the man himself.

[anakinstwinklebunny]

STALKER!NERD!ANAKIN HEADCANONS

TW: at some point it contains sexual content, so if you're sensitive to that or don't feel comfortable with it, please do not read it for your own safety and comfort. Death, murderer, swearing, weird behavior, psycho behavior

Author's note: got inspired by amazing @xzaddyzanakinx, check her sutff out, it's wayyy better!!!

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who at the beginning seemed like a normal cute nerd

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who would write down every small detail he learned about you in his special notebook

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who would get nervous whenever the math class was about to begin (just because you're in it too). He doesn't have a problem with math, hell, he loves this subject but not as much as he loves you. His eyes would time to time move towards to where you're sitting, his cheeks heating up as he tries to pretend he's actually paying attention to what teacher says

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin whose one of the main wishes was to finally catch your attention. To make you notice him; his love for you, his unconditional commitment, his deep interest in everything you do - from your voice to your every small part on your body. It was something he wished and prayed for, to finally catch your gaze longer than one mere second

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who began fantasizing about you late at night to make himself fall asleep sometimes

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who, when you once struggled with your laptop in class, Anakin, the tech whiz, offered to help you out. He found it as a perfect opportunity to finally have his first real interaction with you. Although nervousness creeped all over his body, stopping right at his cheeks to make them rosy. His hands were gentle as they glided over the keyboard, but you had no idea that while he was fixing your issue, he was also installing a program that gives him remote access to your laptop. He smiled at you after, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose, and you thanked him—unaware that he had just gained access to every aspect of your life.

Later that night, as you were working, you noticed your laptop screen flickering for a moment. Although you brushed it off, not realizing Anakin is on the other end, watching you through your webcam. His breath catched in his throat as he watched you. The heat he couldn't just ingore rising inside him whenever he imagined what it would be like to have you by his side..every.single.day

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who's always in the library, studying furiously or working on some coding project. Yet one day, you left a book behind on accident, and of course, he’s the one who finds it. Instead of returning it to you, Anakin uses it as an excuse to hold onto something of yours—your scent lingering on the pages (at least he thinks it lingers, that it's still there), your small scribbled notes on the margins. And the way his heartbeat quickened whenever he held something you did just second ago - it was so thrilling

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who after the laptop 'help', brought himself the courage to talk to you. At first, he made sure to make it time to time and a small talks - about lessons you've just had, sometimes he tried to gossip (for the first time) about teachers he actually liked (but knew you hated) in jokey way to make you smile and agree at what he's saying - so he did baby steps that hopefully would let him get closer.

He was always obssesing over these talks, always came up to you with flushed cheeks, trying to ignore your sceptical-looking friends. Although he cursed himself after every interaction with you just because he stuttered a lot, and he wanted to make the best impression on you as possible (but who would have known that you finded it cute)

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who gave himself time (but with his often excitement it was hard) to gain your trust, to 'know' you even better than what he knew already (so you wouldn't be suspicious about him knowing certain stuff)

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who was thrilled to help you with subjects you sucked at. Often staying just for you long hours in the library after lessons;

"Hi, Annie."

That soft, sugar-sweet voice pulled Anakin out of his thoughts, snapping him back to reality. He looked up, and there you were—his Aphrodite, his goddess���smiling at him, your eyes bright as you took a seat next to him, your math books gently landing on the library's wooden table.

Anakin froze for a moment, his mind swirling. How was it that you could always leave him feeling like this—flustered, vulnerable? His usual composure disappeared every time you came near. He was used to watching you from afar, secretly lingering in the shadows, but now as you were right next to him, close enough that he could smell your perfume, his mind went dizzy

He swallowed hard, trying to control the quickened beat of his heart. “Hi, y/n he said softly, forcing a gentle smile. “So, what do you need help with today?”

You sighed, flipping open your math book, brows furrowing in that adorable way you always did when you were concentrating. “sequences... I don’t get it.”

Anakin's heart lifted slightly at the request. This was his chance—his moment to shine before you. “Don’t worry, I'll help you"

"That’s so stupid," you muttered, grimacing at the another math problem in front of you. You've been doing this shit for what felt like hours and you could feel your brain slowly release more and more smoke

Anakin only chuckled, the sound warm and genuine. “It’s not stupid. You’re just learning it. Trust me, math can save your life.”

The phrase almost made you vomit “That’s a bold statement.”

He grinned, watching your pencil scratch against the paper, marveling at how even something so mundane looked graceful in your hands. “Bold but true,” he teased. “If you were stranded on a deserted island without a signal, you'd need math to find your way back home.” he folded his hands between his legs, offering you this small smile

you huffed “I’d need a map, not math.”

“And how do you think they make maps?” he shot back with a smug smirk on his face. He was nothing like this shy, stuttering guy you knew just time ago. It was more endearing, in a way “Math. Without it, you wouldn’t have a map in the first place.”

You bit your lip in thought, a small furrow appearing on your brows as you glanced back at the task in front of you. The way your lips pouted slightly as you tried to focus made Anakin’s heart skip a beat. “Math is a haunting beast,” you sighed, writing the example down. “It doesn’t help you; it ruins you.”

Anakin chuckled again, shaking his head. “That’s just a matter of perspective.” His voice softened, dropping a little lower “You just haven’t seen it the right way. I can change that, you know.”

“Can you?” your tone teasing but laced with curiosity.

“If you let me, absolutely.” His eyes sparkled while watching you, drinking in every detail of your face. He had never been this close to you ever before. And oh God, he loved it so much. He could smell the faint scent of your vanilla perfumes, every inch of your skin seemed so touchable..so soft..so-- “But you’ve got to take it seriously. Otherwise, how can I help you?”

“I am taking it seriously, Anakin. You know I’m thankful for all the time and effort you put into this.”

The word time echoed in Anakin’s mind, sending a rush of emotion through him. Time—that precious thing he spent obsessing over you, watching your every move, memorizing every little detail about you.. If only you knew how deep his admiration went, how he lived for these moments alone with you..maybe you would understand that you deserve better than some jerk you've been dating. That you deserved someone who would want to know you, who would fall to his knees and beg to know you..who would do it all just for a small glimpse of your face in the sunglight

“Don’t mention it,” he murmured, his smirk returning. “I’m always happy to help you, y/n.”

He kept the conversation light and playful, teasing you just enough to make you smile, to keep your attention on him. Just as he always dreamed. He wanted this moment to last forever—to bask in your presence, in the warmth of your voice, in the sweetness of your laughter. He wanted you to feel how much he cared, even if he couldn’t tell you the whole truth yet

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who hated your boyfriend;

“Y/n!” Jack’s sharp voice sliced through Anakin’s thoughts like a knife. “Pack your things, we’re leaving. Now.” The coldness in Jack’s tone made Anakin’s blood boil. How could anyone speak to you like that? Anakin would never dream of using such a harsh tone with you. Never.

“But I’m doing math ri—"

“Don’t care,” Jack snapped, cutting you off. “Pack your damn things. We’re leaving.”

The cruelty in Jack’s voice made Anakin seethe. The way he talked to you—like you were nothing—made his hands curl into fists under the table. Red-hot anger coursed through him, almost blinding him. Jack had no right. No right to speak to youlike that, to treat you like you were disposable. His heart pounded in his chest, the familiar obsessive urge to protect you, to be the one who cherished you, rising uncontrollably. He couldn’t stand the thought of you being hurt or disrespected by anyone, least of all by someone like Jack.

Jack caught Anakin’s stare, eyes narrowing with disdain. “What are you looking at, nerd?” His voice was full of arrogance and venom

Anakin’s eyes flashed with rage as he turned to meet Jack’s gaze, nails digging into his skin. He wanted to punch that smug look right off his face. Oh, how satisfying it would be to watch him fall. But Jack was taller, broader, physically stronger..yet..biology confirmed that people under different emotions are able to do impossible..so could it possibly mean..

“Jack, calm down,” you interjected softly, your voice shaking just a little as you tried to smooth things over without another cut skin and running blood. “Anakin was just helping me with math.”

Yet, Jack barely glanced at you, keeping his gaze locked on Anakin's face. Both of them looked as if they were about to throw their fists on themselves. Yet, Anakin wasn't the type of guy to hurt someone..right? “Whatever. If you’re not outside in five minutes, I’m leaving without you.”

Anakin’s blood ran cold as Jack stormed out of the library. The familiar feeling of being a failure, of possibly dissapointing you because he haven't done anything, didn't stand up and react at your boyfriend's behaviour corrupted his mind. What had he just done? He was supposted to protect you, and yet, here he was sitting like a failure. This tense, uncomfortable silence did not help him. Especially when your face flushed with embarrassment, your once-bright smile long gone. What had he just done? You looked down, fiddling nervously with your pencil before turning to Anakin.

“I’m so sorry about him,” you whispered “He’s just… having a bad day, I guess. Please don’t take it personally.”

Anakin wanted to scream. Bad day? That was your excuse? You were too kind, too forgiving. Jack didn’t deserve your apologies or your understanding. Anakin’s anger roared inside him like a beast, barely contained beneath his calm exterior. Jack wasn’t just having a bad day—he was a bully, plain and simple. And Anakin hated him for it. He wanted to protect you from this, from Jack’s cruel words and rough edges. Because you deserved to be treated like a queen, not like some accessory Jack could toss around whenever he felt like it.

So there was this question ringing in his ears again - what had he just done?

“It’s okay,” he replied softly, though his voice was tight with the effort it took to hold back his anger.

You offered him a nervous smile, the light that usually brightened your face now dimmed by Jack’s harshness. “I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t keep you any longer… but maybe we can catch up another time?”

Before Anakin could respond, you took his pen and started scribbling something in his notebook. Your soft hand moved gracefully over the page, your pretty handwriting was what captured his attention completely. He loved how even the smallest, most mundane actions were captivating when it came to you. Because for him, you could make something as simple as writing your name feel like magic.

When you finished, you handed the notebook back to him, a soft smile playing on your lips. “It’s my number,” you said, drawing a small smiley face beside it. “We can plan another time for tutoring.”

Your number. Your phone number. Anakin stared at the page in disbelief, his heart hammering in his chest. You had just given him a direct line to you. To you. His obsession surged, almost overwhelming him. He could barely keep his hands from trembling when he took in the sight on the paper. This was it—his way into your life.

“Sure. W-we can,” he said, trying to suppress the massive grin that threatened to take over his face. “Anytime.”

you smiled again, but it was smaller now, hesitant. Your eyes flickered toward the door, where Jack had disappeared moments earlier. “Thanks again, Anakin. I’m really sorry about Jack…i-I should get going before he leaves me stranded.”

Anakin watched you pack your things, his pulse quickening with each movement you made. God, you were so perfect, so sweet, even in the face of Jack’s cruelty. And you deserved better—better than Jack, better than anyone. He even knew he doeasn't deserve you, because for him, you were more than a human. His eyes each time saw you in angelic, heavenly way. As if God alone had sent you on earth to torment him for his sins, to make him suffer. You were so pure, and he so sinful.. so..dirty in all kind of sins. He didn't feel worthy enough to even be in your presence, yet he wanted it more than anything in the world

But if you'd give him only a chance, he'd be yours. Completely. Body and soul. Without exception

“I’ll see you later, Annie,” you mumbled softly, flashing him one last smile before heading towards the door.

The sound of his nickname on your lips made his whole body tingle. He barely registered you leaving, too caught up in the way you'd looked at him, the way you'd spoken to him. The way you had given him your number. It was like a dream come true. His obsession had reached a fever pitch—his heart ached for you - to have you, hold you, not let you go..

you were his, right?

at least had to be someday..

But then there was Jack. Jack, who, again, didn’t deserve you. Jack, who treated you like dirt, who took you for granted. Jack, who yelled at you , who made your smile disappear. Jack, who Anakin hated more than anyone in the world.

Anakin’s grip tightened around his notebook, his knuckles white with the pressure. He couldn’t let Jack get away with this. He couldn’t let Jack continue to be a part of your life. It was his place in your life he took, it was his destiny and fate to be someone more than just 'a nerd who helped you out'.

But again, he hadn't done anything to stop him from treating you like this. When he could, when he really had a chance to make a difference. He simply didn't

what had he just done?

Today was the day it had to change So he had decided. He would follow you, keep his distance, and watch - like he always does. He would make sure Jack never had the chance to hurt you ever again.

With his mind set, Anakin quickly packed his things, his heart pounding with anticipation.

Today Jack Scottland would meet God.

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who killed your boyfriend;

Anakin took a deep breath as he started his car, his hands trembling with barely controlled rage. Every thought, every emotion, was singular—focused on Jack. Jack had to go. He gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles whitened, his breath coming out in shallow bursts. This was it. No turning back. Jack was the obstacle, the barrier between him and you. His mind wouldn’t let him rest until Jack was out of the picture—forever.

As he followed Jack’s car down the quiet road, he could feel his heartbeat quickening, pulsing in his ears. Jack, once more, didn’t deserve you. He didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as you. Anakin’s blood boiled as he replayed Jack’s words in his head—the way he had spoken to you in the most controlling, cruel, disgusting way possible. He couldn’t stand it any longer. If he didn’t do something now, he’d explode.

When Jack pulled into an empty pullout far from your house, Anakin’s pulse raced from adrenaline. This was it. His moment. Now or never.

Anakin slowed his car and parked a few meters behind, eyes locked on Jack’s vehicle. His hands still shook as he opened the trunk, pulling out his baseball bat. The weight of it felt right, felt powerful. This wasn’t a game anymore—this was war. War that he promised himself to win, to never loose, because his thropy is more than anything he could have in his life. it was you Adrenaline pumping through his blood system, perfectly mixing with the uncontrollable rage he’d been bottling up for too long.

Jack was sitting in his car, lazily scrolling through his phone, completely unaware. Anakin’s stomach twisted in disgust. He didn’t care, didn’t even realize how much of a monster he was. The sight of Jack sitting there, nonchalant, as if he hadn’t just torn you apart with his words, made Anakin sick. He had to do this. He had to protect you.

Anakin approached, bat gripped tightly in his hand, tapping it lightly against the car window. The sharp sound snapped Jack’s attention.

“Get out,” Anakin hissed, his voice low and dangerous as if he was a completely diffrent person

Emotions, especially at a high intensity, impact our ability to make rational decisions - nature echoed amongst the pure hatred

“What?” Jack’s expression shifted from confusion to irritation as he slowly lowered the window.

“I said get the fuck out of the car.”

Jack sighed, clearly annoyed as he pushed open the car door, stepping out with a condescending sneer. “Listen, man, I don’t know what your prob—”

The moment Jack’s foot hit the ground, Anakin swung. The bat connected with a sickening crunch against Jack’s side, sending him sprawling to the ground with a grunt of pain. Blood sprayed from his mouth as he gasped for air, clutching his ribs. Yet, Anakin didn’t hesitate; he stepped closer, the fury burning brighter with each moment.

“You think you can treat her like that and just get away with it?” Anakin’s voice was harsh, gritted through clenched teeth as he stood over Jack, eyes wild with fury.

Jack groaned, rolling onto his back, blood dribbling from his lips."What the hell are you talking about?"

anakin's jaw clenched "pathetic excuse of a man"

Before Jack could add anything, Anakin brought the bat down hard, aiming for his head. Jack rolled out of the way just in time, the bat slamming into the dirt beside him. The impact sent a jolt through Anakin’s arms, but he didn’t stop. He swung again, but Jack was quicker this time, scrambling to his feet and grabbing hold of the bat, yanking it toward him.

For a brief moment, they struggled, locked in a vicious tug of war with the bat. Jack, stronger and bigger, managed to kick Anakin hard in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. Anakin gasped, stumbling backward, but the rage inside him only intensified.

Jack seized the opportunity, landing a brutal punch to Anakin’s face, sending blood spraying from his nose. The taste of iron filled his mouth, but it didn’t matter. He barely felt the pain. All he could think about was Jack—the smug look on his face, the way he had spoken to you, belittled you.

Anakin roared, using the force of his rage to swing the bat hard against Jack’s face, smashing into his cheekbone with a sickening crack. Blood splattered across the side of the car as Jack crumpled to the ground, his face a mangled mess of blood and broken skin.

But Jack wasn’t done yet. He spat blood from his busted lips, managing a weak chuckle “So this is about her, huh? You’re fucking pathetic, man. You think beating me up will make her love you? You’re fucking psycho. She’ll hate you more than she ever hated me.”

Anakin’s vision blurred with anger, anger, nothing but anger, everything going red. He swung the bat again, this time aiming for Jack’s chest. Jack barely managed to roll out of the way, but not fast enough—Anakin’s bat clipped his shoulder with enough force to make the bones crack. Jack screamed, the sound piercing the night air, but Anakin didn’t care.

Jack lunged at Anakin, tackling him to the ground, fists flying. The two of them grappled in the dirt, blood mixing with sweat as they traded blows. Jack landed a solid punch to Anakin’s jaw, sending him reeling. Blood dripped from both their faces, coating their clothes in crimson colour.

"fucking--" another hit to anakin's face "psycho--" he panted, but before he could aim another hit, anakin grabbed his wrist, rolling them over

After mucch hits, anakin twisted his body, managing to grab the bat again, using it as leverage to slam Jack’s head to the ground. Blood slipped everywhere, yet it wasn't enough. With shaky legs, Anakin stood up and grabbed a handful of jack's hair only to smack his face into the side of his own car. The crack of Jack’s skull against the car's doors made Anakin feel an intense surge of power, almost a twisted satisfaction. Jack groaned, as if it was the only sound that could leave his already shattered face

yet it wasn't enough

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who, with great care, made sure to get rid off any tools of the crime - he was awfully smart for that. It was almost weird..how a man who was his parent's contentment, now just killed a guy for a girl he was obsessed about..

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who had a special folder for the videos from the camera on your laptop, special folder for your photos he was obsessing about even after such a long time, he still collected new things

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who was nervous (but tried to hide it) when police found Jack's body.

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who was for you when you grieved over the death of your toxic ex and months later, his wildest dreams came true - he was dating you. Was free to worship you, admire you.

He was addicted to you even more after the first date. Because this time, it was him who made you smile so much your cheeks hurt. It was him who made you laugh till your stomach hurt. It was the only type of pain he let himself give you

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who felt extremely free in your presence. All his fantasies, all his dreams came true. He almost felt like on a cloud nine - so perfect, so light, so happy (despite of what he had done);

“Gonna keep teasing me like this all the time?” he asked with a lazy grin, propped up on one elbow on the bed.

“I’m not teasing you,” you replied with playfulness “Just showing off my new dress.”

The dress, a deep shade of red, highlighted your curves and drew attention to your most elegant lines. It clung to your form in all the right places, making you look absolutely stunning.

His eyes wandered over you, taking in every detail. The way the dress accentuated your body left him breathless. You were beautiful in everything you wore, but this dress—this was something extraordinary. “So, you put this on just to make me feral? Because you’re definitely succeeding.” he chuckled, leaning up on his elbow.

“I just wanted to know if you like it,” your smirk deepening as you gracefully crawled onto his lap, like a cat curling up to its favorite spot.

“Oh, I definitely like it,” his voice filled with admiration and a hint of playfulness. “But it’s not just the color that’s catching my attention.” His eyes roamed over your curves with unabashed appreciation once more.

“Oh really?” you giggled, your laughter a sweet melody that seemed to enchant him further. Your smile was radiant, and the way you looked at him made his heart swell.

“Mhm,” he responded, his own smile widening as he pulled you closer. His eyes continued their admiring journey “You’re so, so gorgeous. Did you really think I wouldn’t like it?” his fingers gently grazing the hem of your dress.

“I hoped you’d drool all over it, to be honest” your smile playful and tender as you delicately removed his glasses and put them on yourself.

Anakin’s smile grew even wider. The sight of you wearing his glasses, combined with the way you sat on his lap, made him feel like the luckiest man alive. His joy was almost overwhelming. He could barely contain his excitement. “I’d drool over you in anything, you know that,” his voice filled with adoration and a hint of humor. His heart was soaring, knowing that this perfect moment, with you, was his reality. "Even in a potato sack"

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who had a deep need to observe you 24/7, at least in most of his free time. Because what if someone will hurt you? Or you'll hurt yourself and he'd not know, appear too late to help. So, he felt obligated to watch you

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who stole some of your panties when you weren't looking and kept them in his apartment, not daring himself to even think about putting them into a washing machine

Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who was horribly obsessed with leaving marks all over your body;

“You’re leaving me hickeys,” you whined, glancing at the mirror to see the fresh, juicy marks on your neck to collection

“Can’t help it,” he replied with a smirk, wrapping his arms around your waist to connect his lips with your (this time) exposed shoulder, leaving a trail of kisses and gentle bites. The hickeys were more than just marks—they were declarations of his love, signs that you were his and his alone. He wanted everyone to see that you belonged to him. And if people wouldn't see your marks, he wanted to make sure you would knew who you belong to. His lips moved to your ear, whispering the phrase that made you shiver “Though I’d say my favorite is still the one on your ass.”

“You’re such an asshole,” you flushed and headed back to the bed

He chuckled, settling beside you and immediately pulling you close. His arms wrapped around your frame and he nuzzled into your neck, planting more kisses, and adding to the huge collection of hickeys. “I think you should get it tattooed,” he suggested playfully, his lips brushing against your skin

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(if you want to be removed or added then don't be shy and let me know 💋)

[blueishspace]

Looped Sun

*"You won" that's the last thing he remember saying to Scar as he wins Secret Life, he is... weirdly proud of him actually. Is that weird? Maybe. Then he feels himself being pulled back and-*

Loop #1

Grian woke up back in the desert, he couldn't understand how...and why? The Watchers surely wouldn't do this.

This time he tried to save Scar, maybe he could change the game a little? Doing it the same just seemed like a waste of an opportunity, and in the end if he was being honest getting to play Third Life again wasn't that bad and getting back to Hermitcraft after was even better.

He knew now that the moon was coming as soon as he stepped foot in s8... He was a bit frantic and got a few side eyes from the hermits that... slightly hurt but he managed to get everyone earlier then last time so that was a plus!

Season 9 on the other went by in a breeze, he joined Ren this time around to have some fun and managed to avoid the emperors destroying Grumbot so that was a plus.

Secret Life was just ending, this time with new tasks he didn't get to try last time, everything was good and Pearl won and-

Loop #2

Grian was back in the desert.

Maybe, he tought, he was supposed to fix stuff? Well, he could wait for Third Life to be over and warn everyone of the moon crash ...he had to tell everyone that he was a watcher but they took it well and he managed to get everyone into a different server.

Then, Ren taking the throne, he had joined him last time so maybe he was supposed to oppose him from the start, he could resist from resisting from starting a resistance.

When it came time for Secret Life he had to admit that he tried his best really to fix everything he could-

Loop #3

Back to the desert it is, that's fine... After 3rd Life he just had to not do wars and be as nice and kind as he could. He was fine really, it was a bit hard to not crave the chaos... At least the life games were a good way to let go and go feral.

This Secret Life had gone well, second place wasn't so shabby, now it was time to-

Loop #4

The desert sands were starting to get to his nerves, Scar noticed his distaste for them and made a joke about Anakin Skywalker because of course he did.

He didn't try anything weird this time, he just tought and tought and tought... was last in two games and got worried looks from hus friends but finally-

Loop #5

He got it! He just needed to win every single life game! Why didn't he think about it earlier? He's got pratice now, It's going to be a peace of cake!

...

Double Life, of course it was Double Life. Scar died and he got out first... By the time Secret Life ends he accepts that-

Loop #6

Stupid stupid stupid! He shouted at Scar! He's horrible! He didn't mean to but he hurt him... Mumbo shouts at him, that never happened before but he deserves. He didn't ever think he would make Scar cry like that, he's an horrible friend.

Grian locks himself in his base and when the moon crashes he greets it with a smile-

Loop #7

So permadeath can cause the loop to restart? Good to know...

He tests it again this time, just to be sure, logs off the server and jumps into the void between worlds, it's painful but-

Loop #8

This time he's determined. He's been doing this for ten years now. He wins every game, every single one. His friends say the game is rigged but he doesn't care because he did it!

He won! Secret Life ends with another victory to his name! He won-

Loop #9

...

...

He logs out of Third Life and hides in a cave for the whole season 8 until the moon crashes.

Loop #10

He says there's a glitch, Third Life is cut short and he never makes the others. It's hard to pretend nothing has happened but he manages.

By the time Secret Life should have happened he's in hus base, he can't be sent back now-

Loop #11

Nothing he do works, why doesn't it? Maybe he just hasn't gone extreme enough... it tooks a while to get the tnt but soon the entire server is rigged with tnt. He looks with manic glee as Third Life is destroyed.

He becomes a cultist for the moon and then an evil king before Ren... His friends are worried for him but they don't get the chance-

Loop #12

Maybe he's just supposed to play it straight, exactly like the original. He doesn't understand why it would be that but he has exausted all options.

It is extremely dull but he managed to get as close as possible to the original... He crossed your fingers as you tell Scar that he won-

Loop #13

He was going to figure this out, he built a time machine once back in season 6, he could do this.

It took a while to build another time machine but all he had to do was travel to a time after Secret Life and-

Loop #14

Keralis, Joe or maybe X? One of them must be able to help, he was sure of it.

He asked each of them but despite all the help they gave-

Loop #15

It was another Third Life when it happened, he and a yellow life Scar were walking on the desert sand, close to the ravine.

Scar: Oh! Almost fell down! Wouldn't want to do that again!

How did he know that- wait, had he said again? Did he... maybe there was hope!

Grian: Scar? What do you mean again?

Scar: ... Oh! Right uh I mean dying! Don't want to do that again?

Grian: Is time...repeating for you?

Scar: Grian? You too?

Grian: Oh thank the end, Scar!

Scar: Grian? You're here too? Why are we back here?

Grian: I have no idea.

And the two embraced eachother.

Next

[raointean]

I actually love the idea that Billy and William fused instead of just body-hoping. William would have died if Billy didn't come in and they fused! I love him saying that he has a mom because adoption right 🎉

Yes! The alternative is just too sad for me. As for the adoption thing, it's NOT just this fandom that struggles to understand bio vs. adoptive parents. I'm in the Star Wars fandom and there are SO MANY PEOPLE that refer to Anakin and Padmé as Luke and Leia’s "real" parents. Meanwhile, Owen, Beru, Bail, and Breha are called kidnappers or just ignored entirely (yes, I loved the Obi-Wan show. Why do you ask?)

I think the same problem is sometimes happening in this fandom too. We know Wanda and Vision as characters and we want them to be a happy family. We do NOT know Rebecca and Jeff Kaplan nearly as well, so there's a tendency to want to take the child from the characters we don't know as well and give him to the characters we know, like, and want to be happy.

On a slightly happier note, here's all my headcanons about Billy Kaplan's life (not Billy Maximoff or William Kaplan, but the entity that is both of them)

As William's heart stopped, his soul separated from his body and was on its way to wherever Jewish people go when they die

Billy M's soul, at the same time, was fleeing because it didn't have a body to support it

He found William's body easy enough to get into (because a soul had just left it) and close enough to alive to be fixed

However, William's soul was in between Billy M and the body

Billy M could have gone around and been the only soul in the body, but he was scared, okay?

Poor guy was only a couple days old, alone for the first time ever, and his mom had just kinda killed him and the rest of his family

Long story short, Billy M crashes into William and drags them both into the body

Billy M fixes the body just enough to keep living, but doesn't bother too much about the head injury

Meanwhile, William is stuck to Billy M like silly putty when you have two different colors and, by the time they get to the hospital, the two colors have blended entirely to form a new color

There's no way to differentiate one from the other

Billy Kaplan is born!

Because Billy M didn't fix the head injury, they both have amnesia

Billy K wakes up and it's literally "no thoughts, head empty"

(Except for some lingering sensation of loneliness... like there should be something someone? else there)

But not for long because he soon discovers he can hear other people's thoughts!

Which is really funny because he doesn't know that other people can't hear his thoughts

Poor guy genuinely thinks that humans communicate via telepathy for a solid 24 hours before he gets enough weird looks that he puts two and two together

(His parents are totally aware of this

There's only so many times your kid can answer exactly the thought going through your head without you catching on

Also, this is the Marvel universe!

Shit like this just... happens sometimes

They figure he'll come to them when he's ready, and until then they'll think nice thoughts and be supportive)

Billy K spends a solid four months trying to remember who he was before, stealing memories from his parents' heads, and pretending to recover from the amnesia

(Rebecca and Jeff try so hard not to make him feel like they're just waiting for their old son to come back but...)

Four months in, Billy's at the mall with his mom on some errands and that's where he sees it

Hot Topic

He begs his mom to go in there, and it's the first really normal teenage thing he's done since the car crash so she lets him

For the first time in four months, Billy forgets all about car crashes, and memories, and hospitals, and expectations

All that exists is spiky jewelry, ripped black skinny jeans, and a million of those cheap and hilarious pins

Over time, the family settles into his "new normal" and chalk most of it up to teenage experimentation

In that three year period though, Billy can't shake the feeling that something's still missing

He feels out of place in his body, even with the new aesthetic

(He sees that one tumblr comic about the coocoo bird and cries-- a lot. It's the closest he ever gets to telling his parents about his out-of-place feeling)

He doesn't tell them though

Instead, he digs and digs into the weirdest, darkest, most demented corner of the internet

Reddit

[paracosm-draw]

Promptober Day 5 - Edging ☄️

I think I'm going to be late a lot of times during this challenge so let just ignore that fact and roll with it, deal ?

Tags : angst, very quick anal sex at the begining, blowjob, they're both idiots

~~~

“We can stop if you want.” 

Obi-Wan looks down to where Anakin is sprawled on the bed, arms resting above his head and legs wrapped around his waist as he slowly fucks into him. 

It’s been a while now, and Anakin doesn’t look like he’s going to come anytime soon, not that it’s mandatory but Obi-Wan feels like whatever his efforts to make him writhe in pleasure, they would not be rewarded today. He tries not to take it personally but it’s starting to get frustrating. 

“What ?” Anakin’s eyes snap back to him as he seems to emerge from whatever galaxy he was lost in for a solid couple of minutes. “No, I’m just- Sorry, I guess I’m just tired. But please, continue.” 

Obi-Wan sighs and completely stops moving then. He pulls out from Anakin’s soft and warm body and sits on his heels as Anakin’s legs fall back on the mattress. 

“There's no point if you don't enjoy this.” 

“I do !” Anakin protests, getting up on his elbows. “I’m just tired. But you know you can still use me as you want.” 

“Yes, when you’re actually into it.” Obi-Wan rolls his eyes. “Not when you look like you'd rather be anywhere else.” 

“I wouldn't be anywhere else than here, right now.” Anakin retorts, sitting up as well to face Obi-Wan. “You know that.” 

“Maybe.” Obi-Wan says quietly, but his guts still knot as the idea of Anakin wishing to be somewhere else, to do something else than spend time with him after they’ve been separated for two months. 

“Don’t be an idiot.” Anakin smiles, nudging his calf with his bare foot. “I missed you.” 

And yet you can’t get hard for me, even after all that time. 

It’s a stupid thought but it still crosses Obi-Wan’s mind, immediately followed by a wave of shame. It’s not Anakin’s fault if he follows mission after mission without having the time to take a proper rest in between, if he’s constantly running left and right for the Council or fighting for the Republic’s peace. It’s just… it tends to end up like that more and more frequently every time they try to have sex in the very short periods of time they have together, and Obi-Wan misses his boyfriend. 

Not only does he miss Anakin when he’s away, but these days he also misses him when he’s right next to him. He misses the intimacy, the obsession of the early days, when they couldn’t take their hands off each other. He misses the time when a simple gaze over the meeting table was enough to ignite a fire, when they couldn’t bother waiting for it to end, pretending an emergency to go fuck in the nearest bathroom like lovestruck teenagers. He misses the way an innocent touch could send a shiver of desire run through Anakin’s body or the way a kiss on his neck would give him a hard-on. He misses the hunger, the desperate need for their skin to be pressed together all the time, the unhealthy dependency. 

He feels like they’ve lost all of that somewhere along the way and it gnaws at his insides like a slow, corrosive acid. 

“Maybe we could try something else ?” Anakin proposes then, pulling Obi-Wan from his heavy thoughts. 

“Like what ?” He asks, enthusiasm long since gone. 

“You could touch yourself.” Anakin says. “I would like that.” 

Obi-Wan thinks about it for a second. He doesn't want to touch himself, he wants to touch Anakin. He wants to hear his adorable little noises and see his cheeks get flushed pink, he wants to palm at his hot skin, feel the softness of it against his mouth and tongue, feel the taste of his cum when it mixes with the salt of his sweat. Most of all he wants to make him feel good. 

“Will you touch yourself also ?” He asks, hoping that he could at least have that. 

“If you want me to.” 

He doesn't want to. 

Obi-Wan swallows and turns to pick his shirt at the end of the bed. 

“Or maybe we could just… Forget about all that and get a few hours of sleep.” 

His cock is still painfully hard but he forces himself to ignore it, putting his shirt back on before getting up to search for his underwear. He's stopped by Anakin’s mechanical fingers on his wrist. 

“Don’t. I’d like to feel your skin against mine.” 

“Alright.” 

When they’re finally tucked in bed together, Anakin’s back pressed against his chest, Obi-Wan buries his nose in his soft curls and inhales deeply, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. 

I miss you. Don’t you miss me ?

They stay like that in silence for a while, Obi-Wan clinging to his young lover like he’s going to disappear if he loosens his grip. None of them seem to find sleep. 

“Obi-Wan…?” Anakin whispers after another couple of minutes in the dark. 

“Yes, love ?” Obi-Wan answers in the same tone. 

“I know life’s… difficult these days.” Anakin starts. “I know we’re not like we used to be, and I know it pains you.” 

Obi-Wan swallows hard and tightens his grip around his waist. He doesn't like the tone of his voice. 

“You’re everything I've ever dreamed of.” 

“Not anymore.” Anakin replies quietly. “I’ve failed you. I’m sorry about that.” 

Obi-Wan blinks away the tears sitting heavy on his lashes and presses his face against Anakin’s neck. 

“I love you.” 

Please don't leave me. 

“You deserve bet-”

“No, I don’t !” Obi-Wan exclaims, panic rising up in his  chest. 

He straightens up on his side, pushing Anakin on his back before cradling his face and pressing a desperate kiss on his mouth. 

“I don't deserve anyone else but you.” He pants as Anakin opens his mouth to let him deepen the kiss, making a choked noise at the base of his throat as Obi-Wan assaults his lips. 

“Obi-Wan…” 

Anakin’s body is hot against his own, his heart beating strongly against Obi-Wan’s chest. If he could have crawled inside of his ribcage to curl up around, Obi-Wan would have done it. 

“I don’t want anyone else.” He whispers against his mouth, moving then to kiss his jaw and the side of his neck. “I only want you. Always and forever.” 

Anakin lets out a shaky whine as Obi-Wan grazes his teeth against his pulse point. His hands wrap around his back, nails digging into his pale skin. He arches his back when Obi-Wan licks at the sensitive spot behind his ear. 

“Obi-Wan...” 

Obi-Wan’s tears are mixing with the saliva and sweat shining on Anakin’s skin. It makes him taste even more salty. Obi-Wan can’t get enough. There’s a tiny, painful and frightening thought at the back of his mind. 

If it’s the last time. 

If it’s the last time he has to bottle the flavor of Anakin’s skin inside of his taste buds, he has to engrave every scars, every beauty marks, every imperfections on his fingertips, he has to memorize every nuances of his scent, to sear the perfect vision of him on the back of his eyelids to never, never forget what he could lose. 

“Obi-Wan.” 

Anakin’s voice, whiny and demanding, brings him back to the moment. He looks up at him, tears blurring his vision. Anakin looks all flushed, chest rising quickly, curls sticking to his forehead and pupils blown wide. 

“Touch me.” 

Obi-Wan sinks between his legs so fast he feels dizzy for a second. Anakin is hard for him, cock resting on his stomach and already leaking on his golden skin. He missed that sight so much. 

Leaning down he presses the palm of his hand around and under Anakin’s thighs, lifting them up to let them rest on his shoulders and Anakin locks his ankles around his neck, looking down at him through thick eyelashes. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Obi-Wan praises, turning his head to kiss the smooth expanse of skin on his inner thigh while his fingers run down to the soft curve of his ass. 

He brushes his thumb over his hole and Anakin breathes sharply, thighs flexing around his face. Obi-Wan smiles and drops his head, pressing his lips against his balls, gently sucking one into his mouth, making Anakin shiver and moan. A hand lands on the back of Obi-Wan’s skull, fingers tangling in the soft copper locks. 

“I want your mouth on my cock.” 

Obi-Wan hums and releases him, nuzzling his way up until he can kiss the head of Anakin’s erection, wet and sloppy.

“Yes…” Anakin arches, burying Obi-Wan’s face against his groin. 

Relaxing as Anakin’s fingers tighten on his hair, Obi-Wan drags his tongue along his hard length, playing with the delicate foreskin before harvesting a few drops of precome directly from his slit, coating his lips and beard in it until Anakin decides it's enough teasing and pulls on his hair, pushing the head of his cock into his mouth with a groan. 

“Suck on it.” He orders, and Obi-Wan does. 

He takes a steady breath and closes his eyes, letting his jaw go slack as he takes Anakin’s cock until his nose is buried into the soft curls of his pubis. He smells musky and sweaty and Obi-Wan inhales deeply until his head is filled with nothing else but the sweet scent of his boy. Once he's satisfied, he pulls away with a content sigh and starts to actually suck on Anakin’s cock. 

This time he's rewarded with shaky moans and little jerks of his hips, Anakin’s fingers fisting and relaxing in his hair with every move of his head. Soon he can feel that Anakin is not far from coming, breath unsteady and cock throbbing hard against his tongue as more and more precome spills into his mouth. He’s about to take him deep into his throat to welcome his release when Anakin pulls harshly on his hair, making his cock pop out from Obi-Wan's mouth. 

“Wait.” He pants, looking both devastatingly debauched and gorgeous. “Not yet.” 

Obi-Wan gives him a curious look, taking this moment of rest to catch his breath. 

“No ?” He asks, placing a soft kiss on his stomach. 

Anakin shakes his head, pushing his sweaty curls away from his forehead. 

“I want it to last.” 

“Everything that you want, my darling.” Obi-Wan says softly, resting his head on Anakin’s belly, missing the complicated thing his face does at the words. 

“Obi-Wan.” 

“Mmh ?” 

“I- I’m sorry.” 

Anakin’s tone makes Obi-Wan lift his head again. 

“For what, dearest ?” 

“For everything.” Anakin whispers, eyes shining in the darkness of their room. “For taking you for granted, for a start.” 

Obi-Wan feels the corner of his eyes sting once again. He buries his face against Anakin’s stomach, not ready to have this conversation in such vulnerable conditions. 

“Baby, look at me.” Anakin asks gently, and Obi-Wan’s heart flutters like every time Anakin calls him like that. He hasn't heard it in a while. 

He accepts to look at him then, but only to guide Anakin’s softening cock back into his mouth. Anakin tries to stop him, weakly. 

“Ah- Obi-Wan, this- this is serious. I’m- Ah ! Please, Obi-Wan…” 

His last complaint blurs into a moan when Obi-Wan starts sucking on the tip of his cock, one hand keeping his thigh in place around his neck and the other one fondling his balls. 

This lasts until Anakin stops him again with a tug on his hair, this time more difficult than the first one. Pleasure takes a while to recede from where it's boiling hot in Anakin’s lower belly, making his toes curl and nails dig into the soft skin of Obi-Wan’s shoulder. 

“You’re the worst.” He groans when he’s able to form an intelligible sentence again. 

“You’re doing this to yourself, beloved.” Obi-Wan reminds him. 

He wonders if it’s a way for Anakin to atone for whatever sins he thinks he’d made, if it’s because he feels guilty about Obi-Wan’s pain. 

Anakin tilts his head, looking at him from the opposite side of the bed. He looks less closed, less like a stranger and more like the Anakin Obi-Wan cherishes. 

“I almost forgot how pretty you were.” He says softly, brushing the fingers of his flesh hand against Obi-Wan’s cheekbone, flying over his freckled nose to land on the curve of his bottom lip. “So pretty it hurts to look at you.” 

Obi-Wan opens his mouth, drawing his tongue out to lick at his fingers, having to focus on something else than the blush spreading on his face. The next second he’s sucking on Anakin’s fingers and soon they’re replaced by his cock again. 

It takes three more times, during which Anakin is less and less determined when he pulls on Obi-Wan’s hair to remove his mouth from his cock. It's getting harder and harder each time not to give in to the fire burning hot into his belly, sending jolts of pleasure from the base of his spine to the rest of his body, to the intoxicating feeling of Obi-Wan’s warm and wet mouth around his pulsing cock, driving him straight to heavens, to the sound of his choked moans and little whimpers vibrating around his erection. 

He wants to give in. He needs to give in. He’s been torturing himself long enough. 

So when he feels the familiar feeling building up in his belly and pulling at his balls, making his heart beat madly and his breath itch in his throat, he doesn’t push Obi-Wan away. Instead he draws him even closer, making him choke when the head of his cock presses against the back of his throat and he comes like that, surrounded by the delicious heat of Obi-Wan’s mouth and tongue, spilling his seed until Obi-Wan can’t swallow anymore and pulls away coughing and gasping for air. Even then, Anakin keeps spilling, feeling like his orgasm is never going to end. His mind shuts down, blank with only bliss and burning pleasure, back arched and mouth wide open in a silent shout. 

It takes a couple of minutes for him to come back to his senses, his body oversensitive and shivering at the lightest touch. Obi-Wan is resting between his legs, cheek pressed against his stomach. His fingers are dancing along Anakin’s thigh and hip, and he looks relaxed. Happy. 

“Thank you.” Anakin whispers, gently tucking Obi-Wan’s hair behind his ear to cradle his face. 

Obi-Wan hums and places a kiss on his palm, eyes still close. 

“Don't leave me.” He whispers back, pressing his cheek against Anakin’s hand. 

“Never.” 

Anakin softly brushes away the wetness under his eyes. 

“I promise.” 

[sherlockholmeshound]

The thing with Obiwan is that he cannot have friends nor any actually meaningful relationship without feeling guilty about it bc attachment, that man fumbles on purposes every damn relationship he has or could have. Fandom loves to talk about Anakin as the one that cannot keep a healthish relationship and constantly self-sabotages them, and then have Obi-Wan as the emotionally mature one, calm and wise and self-sacrificing, when he's a paragon of unhealthy stoicism and coldness. I cannot for the life of mine understand anyone that dares to imply that he and Padme are besties or good friends, when they're cordial, at best. And is pretty clear by Padme herself that she doesn't like jedi general coldness and detachment, and Obi-Wan is in this aspect the perfect Jedi. And it gets worse when this fandom wants to pretend he lovingly took care of the twins because Anakin couldn't, if Obi-Wan was barely emotionally there for Anakin, he wouldn't be much more than a shadow for the twins, because another thing about Obi-Wan is that he's stuck in self pity, but he's so static that he never really changes much. Old Obi-Wan is pretty much the same as Prequels Obi-Wan and the same as Ghost Obi-Wan, besides the newfound pity. If Obi-Wan had taken a more active role in raising either of the twins instead of the Lars/Organas, he would have fumbled them hard, just as he did with Anakin, they would have ended emotionally insecure and anxious, in the best case scenario.

This is not me saying Anakin's emotional state and relationships were without problems, considering his extreme fear of abandon. But just because he sucked at something, doesn't mean he sucked at every aspect of his life, Anakin has deep empathy and we know he's more than capable of having some emotional responsability within his marriage, with his padawan and with some of the clones, he's even fairly respectful and composed around other jedi for most of the time, is with Obi-Wan that he becomes a nervous wreck and this is a clear consequence of a trashy parenting. But a lot of his anger does come from a place of knowing pain and injustice; Obi-Wan takes the position of trying to Not Think Too Hard About It, bc he took the Jedi code in such a traditionalist and lowkey conservative way, that even Windu and Yoda had to tell him to chill in AOTC. So, if there's someone that sabotages relationships with full purpose,even before they start, is Obi-Wan, and Satine might want to have a word about this.

[tennessoui]

He's thinking of obi wan as a pretty bird 😭 anakin is trying so hard to pretend he doesn't want obi wan

(in reference to part four of the Democratic fic)

LOL he does think of him as a pretty little bird!! I wrote that in cause I was like he’s definitely thinking of obi-wan as a fragile caged pretty thing with not a whole lot of real world experience between the Jedi Temple and Count Dooku adopting him

and obi-wan is trying so so so hard to seem exactly like that especially after he saw anakin catch Padmé when she tripped >:(

and then I was like haha pretty bird haha like the other pretty bird I write about

and then i lost like 5 minutes of my life contemplating the bitch fest it would be if pbatmb anakin met baby sith obi-wan

[jedi-lothwolf]

Whumptober Day 5: Finding Old Messages (Alt Prompt)

Fandom: The Bad Batch

Summary: After Rex finds an old tape recorder, he gives it to Echo. On the recorder are messages from Fives for Echo after he "died".

  "Hey Echo, I wanted to give you something." Rex walked up to his friend. "Here, I found this a few weeks back. I honestly didn't know I still had it. It's a tape recorder and given to fives by Anakin after everything." Then he put the object in Echo's hand.

    "Are you sure about this?" Echo looked at the tape recorder in his hand. Rex had just given it to him. It had been a while since the two had seen each other, the end of the war separating them.

    "I know he would want you to have this." Rex spoke. "Fives-" he paused, "

    "Is this thing working?" Fives spoke, interrupting Rex. "Hell yeah! Took me long enough to figure this out."

    Echo could almost see the excitement of Fives's face. He looked at Rex who signed, "I'll be around." Pulling his legs up and onto the bunk, Echo wondered what had taken Rex so long to give the tap recorder to him. After all, they had been working together for a few months now.

    "Okay, so the general gave me this to, um, pretend that I'm taking to you, Echo. He knows I'm having a hard time and he remembers one of the Jedi giving him one a long time ago. He thinks it might work for me too."

    Taking a moment to process the information, Echo paused the recording. He thought about going to get one of the batch members but they weren't around. A minute passed and the clone continued the tap.

    There was a pause on the other side. "I miss you. It hasn't been long since you died. I feel like I lost the other half of me." The man's voice started to waver. "I've made some friends, lost some too." There was another moment of silence. "I think I should try this again later."

    "Me too Fives." Clearing some tears from his eyes, Echo stopped the recording and set the machine down on his desk. Then he moved it to his pocket and got up from his bunk. Standing, he went to meet up with Rex to discuss mission plans.

    It was the next time he was with the bad batch, Echo pulled the recorder out. He sat in the cockpit and listened to Fives tell him the tails of everything he had missed. He told him everything from normal days to the deep trouble the 501st (or more specifically his friends) got into.

Each moment made Echo miss his brother more. Like Fives had said, he had been his other half. Some called the two clones twins. He found that sometimes he would finish sentences Fives was saying or he would answer the way Fives had thought he would do it was like they were having a conversation.

After a while, Tech came to check on Echo. Bring him some water, he offered to take him around Pabu for a little bit. "I understand this situation can put a person under emotional duress. If you would like, I can offer you a break or I can be someone who listens to you in this time of hurt."

"I'll be okay. It doesn't always hurt." Looking back at the recorder, Echo smiled. I like hanging it on me."

"That is logical."

Laughing a little, Echo stood. "Maybe you're right, we should go on a bit of a walk." Placing the recorder in his pocket, the clone decided maybe he should spend time with one of his other brothers. After all, even old messages can't bring someone back to life.

[bluedeedeedoop]

Hello I bring you some Barrissoka ask game questions!

6,9,10,13,21,22,34,41,43, 45, 49, and 50

You don’t have to answer all of them if you don’t want to ;)

OHOHO U BET IMMA ANSWER THEM ALL MWAHAHHA 6.) Whose Master is more likely to walk in on them in a compromising position? ANAKIN. 100% ANAKIN. he sometimes forgets how to knock so like he barges in Ahsoka's quarters like "hey snips i ju- oH KRIFF-" I can see it all. also found this barrissoka mini comic thing on insta thats rlly funny with that just lmk if u want it^^ 9.) Ahsoka’s favorite thing about Barriss. HER VOICEEEEEE its just so soothing to her! The times Barriss will go on ranting sprees about anything or when Barriss is trying to explain something to her she just like *Intensely gay staring but nodding her head along* 10.) Barriss’s favorite thing about Ahsoka I would have to say probably how forward she can be! For Barriss, I imagine being able to come forward and tell Ahsoka things on her own can be very hard, but when prompted by Ahsoka, it usually helps her begin to explain things better! Also Ahsoka is there to help her find the right words <3 12.) What is something about Barriss that drives Ahsoka crazy? PrOBAbly the amount of time she spends in the archives LMAODSJK Ahsoka just wants to do fun fluffy stuff (or not who knows) and Barriss is just like "bAbe iM rEaDiNG hArrY pOttER aNd tHE prISOnER oF azKabAN, whAT dO yOu wAnt?" JNMDBFJ 21.) Whose more likely to initiate intimacy first? ohoho i gotta say it depends on the timing. A lot of times, it's Ahsoka but Barriss is quick to follow though it makes her gay panic a LOT. And then there's the few times Barriss is just had enough that day and is like "jusT COME OVER HERE BEFORE I KRIFFING MURDER YOU" (she doesn't mean it ofc, they both establish boundaries on what's okay and what's not <3)

22.) Whose the “top” and whose the “bottom” or do they switch? OKOK so i believe it is majority of the time Ahsoka on top and Barriss on bottom, but i do believe they switch quite a lot. I can also see them both taking turns as power bottoms (again, depending on timing as referred to in prev question) 34.) Whose more likely to get jealous if someone made a pass on their partner? OKAY SO BARRISS- but she won't show it. like she'll be VERY passive aggressive but just INTERNALLY FUMING while she tries to ground herself. Ahsoka i feel like would also be pretty pissed, but be more straight forward about it, therefore the anger wont be pent up like Barriss's would. HOPE THAT MAKES SENSE^^ 41.) Are there any kinks? y e e eeeeeeeee e e e e e eee e e e e e es yes. mhm.

IDK IF YALL WANT ME TO LIST THEM BUT YOU GUYS CAN ASK ME AB THEM AT SOME POINT IDC I JUST- YEAH. 43.) When they're old, who would be the sweet knitting "tweety bird" granny and who would be the baseball bat wielding "get off my lawn" granny? Oh for SURE Barriss will be the tweety bird granny, i can see her loving to knit and crochet. LMAOJKDF I CAN SEE AHSOKA BEING LIKE "GET THE FUCK OFF MY DAMN LAWN YOU FUCK TROPHIES!" 45.) Share your Barrissoka headcanon. Ahsoka sends Barriss stuff while she's on deployment and Barriss collects them and keeps them. She carries at least something Ahsoka's sent her with her at all times. They are so cute they make me wanna die <3<3 49.) What nicknames if any would they give each other? Oh Ahsoka has definitely tried giving Barriss cringe worthy nicknames/petnames and she was just not having it, which Ahsoka found extremely rude.(She would pretend to get offended but it was actually her just messing with Barriss). They both settle for the normal "sweetheart, sweetie, hun, babe" kinda shit ykyk. Barriss does sometimes use just "'Soka" tho cuz why the fUCK not?

50.) What are some songs/quotes/poems/stories/movies that make you think of Barrissoka? ALRIGHTY SO-

I have a whole ass Barrissoka playlist on spotify (which i have linked here at some point) for this purpose. here are some of the ones have cried to thinking about them the most:

"Skeleton Song" By Kate Nash (IM ACTUALLY MAKING AN ANIMATIC WITH THIS ONE "Don't speak" By No Doubt (I saw it in an edit once i cried multiple times) "Me gustas tu" By Manu Chao (Look it was a scrap idea for the human au fic but it's all i think of when I hear this song) "Training Wheels" By Melanie Martinez (for uh.....certain times) "The Contortionist" By Melanie Martinez (FOR UH... CERTAIN TIMES) "Lost on you" By LP (LITERALLY THE ONE THAT TRIGGERS THE MOST TEARS!! also saw in an edit-)

IF YOU MADE IT THROUGH THIS WHOLE THING I THANK YOU AND ALSO APOLOGIZE FOR ANY BRAIN CELLS U MAY HAVE LOST DUE TO MY EXPLANATIONS :D AGAIN THANK U SM FOR THE ASK!!! <3<3

[rufflesandbows]

Hi I wanted to tell you that I love your story The Handmaiden I just started reading it and it's great.

This is just my opinion but I think Padme doesn't really love Anakin it seems to me that she is only with him so we can see that she gets everything we want.

I say that because in chapter 4 when she is crying in the bathroom she thinks Padme knew about her feelings all along and made fun of that and clearly acted out. I think the queen is not a friend she is just using her, maybe they have had moments of friendship but I see her as mean spirited.

Well first off, thank you so much! I'm so happy to hear you enjoy the story!

I totally get where people are thinking that, you're not the first to tell me lol! I need to post that Padme chapter so badly but I have nowhere to freaking put it in the story yet! I'll drop it, I swear, it's more complicated on her end over just being a narrative problem! It's just really hard to get that pov when we're nowhere near her. I don't think there's too much crossfire between my blog and my Ao3, or at least this will probably get buried in my feed, so I'm just gonna spill the beans for anyone who doesn't want to wait for the more refined final draft. Spoilers below the line for The Handmaiden!!!

Padme had the same feelings for Anakin that you did. However she's a Queen, THE figurehead for Naboo. If a scandal broke out between a Jedi and the handmaiden of a Queen, it wouldn't be nearly as bad as it would be with THE Queen. She was teasing because as friends do, she knew you liked him and was trying to push you into accepting those feelings and maybe kindling something with him, as much as it hurt to sideline herself. She felt it was her duty to play poker face and pretend she never felt anything.

Problem being that Anakin still had the idealized version of Padme in his head, having loved her all these years, and he never felt like he truly knew you as a person.

When he takes her to Naboo, Padme is hard pressed to keep turning him down so he might spark an interest in you instead. But Anakin keeps pressing and flirting and kisses her. Padme struggles with her own feelings toward him against knowing your feelings and her position as Queen.

On Geonosis, she genuinely thinks there's no way out of the situation. Yes she'll fight until her last breath, but they're in a death pit, just the three of them and surrounded by thousands of enemies. As a sort of "get things off my chest before I die" moment, she confesses her feelings to him, which he reciprocates.

And then they survive. Oops.

Padme feels an intense guilt over it. She's terrified how much it might hurt you and it's why she keeps it a secret despite you two being friends. She's struggling to find some way to break it to you all the while being completely swamped by her duties. She started this doomed relationship and now there's a war growing bigger everyday. When she arrives on Coruscant all those responsibilities seem to fizzle away when she's with him. Anakin is a big enabler, leading her into abandoning the stress of both her duties and her betrayal to you. When he admits he kissed you by accident, it doesn't even hurt that much because she feels it probably should have been that way to begin with.

And I know some people were saying "ah she's using you to stand in for her." but like, that's your whole job. Sabe took her place through most of Phantom Menace, so I assumed to take the pressure off, handmaidens often interchange to help out, especially with minor things the Queen doesn't actually need to do.

On a side note: the "always second choice" is to a lot of things in the story. The universe itself wants you to be in second place. You weren't the first choice to inherit the Matriarch title (you had an older sister). You weren't the first choice to be Queen of Naboo (lost the election). You weren't Anakin's first choice. That last one in the moment of the story is a huge frustration, the real reason for breaking down and crying is because none of them would be in this twisted situation if he hadn't acted so rashly. Multiple times. But I mean, that's just our boy.

Anyway, I probably could have made her a villain, but I just love to torture everyone I write for! Sorry Padme, hope you like PAIN, cause this is going to get worse before it gets any better! (◕ᴗ◕✿)

[the-stage-manager]

I literally can't breathe this is so fucking funny. The fact that people in this God forsaken fucking fandom are actually debating whether or not it was Anakin's fault that he murdered some fucking children, and whether or not they should be consequences for his actions, is so fucking wild to me.

He's the fictional equivalent of a school shooter. No, I mean seriously, can you imagine somebody shooting up a school, and then a whole bunch of people start saying, "it's not his fault, he was raised badly! He's mentally ill!"

People who are mentally ill are still responsible for their shitty choices. Im traumatized. I have very bad anger management problems and get worse when I drink. Do you know how many fights I've gotten in? How many people I've assaulted? How many people I've murdered? Zero. I snapped at my sister once, and I screamed at a roommate, but I've never put my hands on anybody.

Yes, he was groomed. Yes, he was traumatized in that trauma was handled badly. In a perfect world could it have been preventable? Yeah probably. That's why we write fucking fanfiction, so we can give Anakin therapy before he goes on to genocidal rampages.

He's a fictional character guy, chill out. You're allowed to like fictional people who do bad things, because they aren't real. Doesn't mean you're endorsing them, or condoning them. It means you think their story is interesting. You're allowed to like a character and admit that you didn't like what he did. You're allowed to pretend like that thing didn't happen, it's all just fiction.

But Jesus fucking Christ I'm so fucking sick of seeing people using mental illness as a scapegoat to explain bad behavior. Like it pisses me off so God damn much. What, do you think your advocating for mentally ill individuals by trying to convince the rest of the world that the murderer only murdered because he was sick? Damn, paints a really bad light on mentally ill people, doesn't it? This idea that mental illness causes people to commit atrocious acts... Like damn, you're really doing a huge disservice to everybody who actually has mental illnesses in real life, especially those of us who aren't violent. You're perpetuating this stupid ass stereotype that mental illness is the cause of violent, bad behavior. It isn't. It never has been. I get it, you like this character, they get a lot of hate cuz they did something bad, you want to defend them, that's fine. But the second you start using mental illness to excuse vile behavior, you start perpetuating this belief that mental illness causes violence. That mentally ill people are inherently dangerous. Those of us who are traumatized, who deal with PTSD, we have a hard enough time getting treatment as it is, because we have to prove to people that a.) We actually are, in fact very sick and need help and b.) That we aren't dangerous.

So shut the fuck up with all this bullshit. People who are sick and do shitty things still need to be held accountable for their actions. Doesn't make them irredeemable or unhelpable, doesn't mean that they deserve to die. But we can acknowledge that somebody needs help while still acknowledging that they did something really shitty. This is the most bullshit trolley problem question I've ever heard in my goddamn life. You know you're fucking trolley problem looks like? It looks like this: "A trolley is going down the tracks. The trolley has already hit and killed five people. There are 10 people on the tracks in front of the trolley. If you pull the lever the trolley stops and the conductor will be sad because he killed five people. But if you don't, the trolley keeps going, killing 10 more people, but the conductor stays blissfully ignorant of the rampage and death he's caused. What do you do?"

“is anakin at fault for his actions” is literally the trolley problem of sw fandom to me. there’s no right answer and that’s actually good and useful because it lets us ask complicated questions about free will and trauma and what being at fault even means BUT. and this is crucial. there are also about a million yahoos walking around acting like there is an OBVIOUS right answer and everyone who disagrees with them is a MORAL DEGENERATE and also an idiot

[phoenixyfriend]

Okay so, originally, I pitched this on discord:

Ahsoka… but distressed dapper. She's still a tog and all, but she's otherwise right out of a film noir setting. Rugged Detective. If Anakin were still around he'd be freaking out over the cigarette.

@jebiknights responded with:

this is a great image for post-jedi Ahsoka but also ngl part of my brain went straight to padawan Ahsoka trying to solve a mystery in the temple pretending to be a noir detective, sucking on a lollipop with a fake mustache like Nino did in s4 of Miraculous Ladybug fdijirdgjs She hasn't received shadow or spy training yet shes got a long way to go 😂 she hums her own theme music whenever she can get away with it

And we were off to the races!

I met us in the middle: after she leaves but before RotS.

Her sleuthing leads to Sidious through the most ludicrously indirect route possible.

She's not even a PI. She's a mechanic on the lower levels. She just stumbled into a thing and put on a costume to hide her identity through judicious use of Hat.

She's got an apartment across the hall from some girls who work in the red light district and one time some guys were harassing them and Ahsoka kicked them out through judicious use of Armbars And Catching Punches, which was impressive without being actively violent or revealing her Force abilities, and it was... fine? They're friends now, have pizza once in a while. Ahsoka likes hearing about their lives.

But then they decided to come to her for advice on a whole Thing at work, where they overheard some stuff about a drug deal that's taking place worryingly close, and maybe she could just keep an eye out when the deal goes down in case things go south? Please?

Ahsoka does so. She overhears things about the war in the deal (which is about information, not drugs), and. Well. She doesn't want to call home for help when she's making a whole point about needing to find herself away from them, so maybe she can just do a little digging of her own?

The red light girls insist she needs a cool outfit for her PI work (they do not care that it's not PI work). They are very excited about this.

At some point she runs into a junior Corrie Guard and steals him for a bit. He is officially "missing" and unofficially Fox was just like "fuck it, sure, help the shiny not-Jedi, I don't care." Now Ahsoka has a clone roommate/sidekick/backup who is, in fact, much more experienced in this than she is, but also has far fewer contacts and resources since they can't use CG databases while they're running this op. Meanwhile, Ahsoka has Friends, and some of her friends know a guy who knows a guy.

Fox doesn't tell the Jedi because technically this doesn't involve them (Ahsoka didn't mention the war stuff), and he has an Outside Contractor and a Coruscant Guard working on it.

He'll let them know if it goes anywhere, but for now he's assuming it's grandstanding lowlifes, and will leave it to the baby Jedi and babier Guard.

jebiknights:

a probably way too young cg helping Ahsoka while Fox aggressively pretends it isn't happening has such good- ohmygod this has psych vibes just a lil bit I've been on a psych comparison kick lately tho so

Ahsoka is trying so hard to be cool

listen psych is my favorite framework for the consulting detective schtick lmaooo AND SHES TRYING SO HARD but shes like what 16? just not there and living in the non-jedi/non-battlefront world for the first time sidgier

Her hypercompetent psychic is a babyfaced 9yo

i was thinking that she would be the psychic bc jedi but honestly convincing everyone that its the shiny corrie is so much funnier also just imagining all the stupid names they call each other as aliases

Sidekick I meant hypercomptetent sidekick

that… makes more sense ngl i was ready to yes and you all the way tho turn it into a gods whats the Jude Law movie where "Watson" is the genius who hires an actor to play "Sherlock" and has him pretend to be the genius or st?

I am, however, open to a Detective Conan situation, which has a lot more context so I'll actually use a different reference and say she pulls a Cyrano de Bergerac.

Ahsoka is stage-whispering instructions to her Corrie Guard, feeding him lines so he can pretend to be psychic while she sneaks around with significantly less eyes on her.

Also the red light girls stay involved they are so excited to Help even though Ahsoka keeps trying to keep them uninvolved for Safety. The girls love teasing her shiny friend. Please remember that all of this nonsense is happening while Ahsoka tries to dress like a prototypical film noir detective.

wait wait wait but if we go back to the original gag of, lowkey being a lil Psych/chaotic Sherlock inspired… shiny being a baby medic?? he tries to be a voice of reason but also enjoys the chaos too much, gets wayyyy too into the play acting and bad covers, but also knows how to patch up the reckless former jedi lol. Ahsoka sometimes just showing up in the Corrie medbay not for a check up but to drag the shiny into shenanigans

Fuck yeah, baby shiny Guard is now a baby shiny medic (Guard). Ahsoka regularly sneaks in through the vents to kidnap him.

Quinlan figures out she's doing Things through psychometry by accident but decides to let sleeping dogs lie until she finally shows up a the Jedi's door like "hey I need help."

The Jedi and various commanders all think it's a standard "the world is bigger and harsher than I thought and as a teen I want to come back to stability," but instead... it's "Chancellor's a Sith Lord."

Though tbh the shiny might just suggest she go to Quinlan first.

REAJGRIGJAERI Quinlan was not prepared for this at all I'm just imagining him as the airplane gag where every new thing Ahsoka reveals is just "I picked a bad day to stop [addiction]"

tbh I initially pitched the AU for Gay Reasons and that's why I was thinking post-RotS but I am now in love with mostly-competent-fumbling teen Ahsoka and her shiny friend.

[vttrvm]

some random shit about my rexwalker royal au (quick summary: anakin is the prince of tatooine and rex is a knight from kingdom kamino and a bastard of king jango fett) that make sense literally only to me and two or three of my friends who've read me venting about this for a few weeks because i miss rexwalker terribly and I Am Losing My Mind. also it's placed not in chronological order but in my i am being not normal order so i'm sorry if it's confusing i can't do better

• so in this au tatooine is a small kingdom with an extremely hot climate and it's basically a desert with some cities in it. it's a worldwide trading center tho and it is famous for the sand warriors - extremely skilled royal guards who use an unique combat technique (and, according to legends, some of them even mastered sandbendig). until crown prince anakin skywalker turns 21 the kingdom is ruled by queen regent shmi skywalker.

• kamino on the other hand is a not so small kingdom, like 80% of it's territory is covered in lakes and it has a lot of maritime borders and it's always raining there - so it's basically the complete opposite of tatooine. kamino is famous for its huge army and kamioan warriors are mostly known for their discipline and brilliant strategies. kamino is ruled by king jango fett who has a young son prince boba fett, heir of the kaminoan throne (jango also has two bastard sons who weren't given any last names but only first names cody and rex). king jango and the whole fett bloodline have strong ties (both family and diplomatic) with its neighbor kingdom mandalore, and being so tightly bonded with mandalorians kinda explains kaminoans' bellicose temper.

• obi-wan kenobi obviously is anakin's chief adviser and he basically holds the only braincell of the entire royal court of tatooine

• same for cody (rex's older brother) on kamino, he's the head of the royal guard and if king jango is fully capable of defending himself and doesn't need 24/7 supervision prince boba (age 12) Definitely Does. he has a tendency of messing with wrong people and getting in trouble and not being able to get out of it by himself so cody is kind of a babysitter more then he is a knight

• ahsoka tano, in her turn, is a sand warrior and the head of tatooine's royal guard but also kinda of just prince anakin's personal bodyguard. she and anakin have know each other since he was a baby prince and she was a baby menace so, in lack of any other royal siblings, anakin just treats ahsoka like his little sister and like she's royalty as well.

• when rex comes to tatooine (on diplomatic mission as royal family of kamino's representer of course not to visit his secret prince fiance) he and ahsoka bond IMMEDIATELY. they spar almost all the time and they both are madly curious to learn each other's kingdom's fighting style and anakin just sits on tribune whining how bored he is with all of their knight stuff (tho it was him who taught ahsoka how to fight before she became a sand warrior but he can't participate in silly goofy knights' sparrings anymore since he is going to be a fucking king in a few months and he must maintain his royal attitude)

• after the sparring ahsoka is sitting in anakins royal chambers like damn that kamino guy of yours is an amazing warrior you should like marry him and anakin makes the saddest puppiest puppy eyes one has ever seen bitch i'm TRYING

• codywan are penpals and they constantly complain to each other about how hard it is to babysit princes and to pretend that they don't know why his royal highness prince anakin of skywalkers and cody's younger brother rex travel to each other's countries every couple of months

• they barely saw each other but if you ask obi-wan's opinion he'd tell you that cody is the hot sibling

• due to extreme climate and HIGH risk of death on tatooine there is literally no such thing as a bastard and a royal kid is a royal kid so when anakin learns that king jango has several kids he just assumes that there are at least three princes of kamino: prince cody, prince rex and prince boba and when he first sees rex of course he calls him prince rex fett. rex freezes and thinks that anakin is just making fun of him because that's what kids in knights' academy used to call him as a joke so his answer is 'i am no fett and i am definitely no prince'. that was an awkward ass first interaction so anakin will have to make up for it by making rex a king instead of prince

• prince anakin and prince boba can't stand each other for the most ridiculous reasons (mostly it's just anakin acting so bitchy about boba being and prince and rex not being a prince) and it's really funny to see a whole ass 20yo almost-king holding back to not to kill a 12yo boy for saying that his sword is 'mid'

• anakin was ready to marry rex after a week of knowing him because this is just how it works in his kingdom you see someone pretty and nice and they most definitely like you back and you grab them and marry them before they die in a sandstorm

• ...while rex was SO unsure about all this he couldn't believe that the fucking future king fancies him that his intentions are serious that he's so hot & respectful that his eyes are so deep and his skin is so smooth despite the climate in his desert kingdom and blah blah blah so anakin was just being his charming self and he waited and waited and waited with no pressure on rex and rex was falling for him and falling for him and falling for him so eventually he reciprocated and they started dating and got engaged and lived happily ever afte-

• anakin wasn't getting rex any expensive presents while he was courting him and they weren't in a relationship yet because he didn't want rex to feel pressured or like he owns something to him BUT what anakin was getting him are desert roses. they literally don't cost anything they just lie all around tatooine's desert but for rex who spent all his life on the lakes of kamino it's the most beautiful and exotic thing in the world and it's priceless for him

• anakin is crazy about flowers because there is literally aren't any flowers in his home kingdom. once he saw rex with flower wreath some village kid put on his head he became literally OBSESSED with the idea of rex wearing a flower wreath or a flower crown to their wedding

• anakin doesn't know how to swim. at all. he and rex go on a little hike to the famously beautiful lakes of kamino so they can just have their tet-a-tet time kiss in a clover field sleep in a tent fence jokingly and since anakin can't swim they just sit in the lake among water lilies and the water level barely covers their feet i am sorry this is my #1 romantic fantasy i can't be normal about the water lilies thing (my wife even illustrated this, check her drawing out)

• anakin always takes some water lilies or other flowers to tatooine when it's time for him to leave rex and kamino and he tries to keep the flowers alive but they all dry out on like a second day there so he just keeps a lot of dry flowers so they would remind him of rex

• when rex first comes to tatooine they are already in some sort of relationship and they obviously share a bed so they kuddle after a long day of exploring the capital and anakin's palace and rex just looks so annoyed and tired and anakin is like it's okay if you don't like it here this climate isn't friendly for foreigners at all and i totally understand if you want to go h- and rex's like beloved your kingdom is beautiful and i love it but there is so much sand in my ass rn

• # and they both hated sand... and they both were soon-to-be-kings of tatooine

p.s. it's funny that as much as i know in tbobf boba eventually became some kind of ruler of tatooine... he's just like his bro rex fr

[tennessoui]

hi kit I have a question - does anakin know he’s in love with obi-wan by the time he asks padme for a divorce??

ahhh well this just depends on how i choose to write their inevitable feelings realization

BUT i do feel like this anakin has been to therapy too much/is actually honestly trying really hard to be respectful and healthy in his relationships

so as soon as he realizes he's in love with obi-wan, he has to tell padmé. he has to get divorced. he can't string her along or pretend that he doesn't want to be with obi-wan. it's very black and white for him....and i don't think he would think to get a divorce if he hadn't also realized he was in love with obi-wan

i promise there's not going to be any intentional emotional infidelity.

it might get a bit messy in the end (i personally love the idea of anakin snapping and kissing obi-wan without understanding exactly why and they slip into heavily making out and it feels amazing but then obi-wan remembers and puts a stop to it and probably runs, and then anakin realizes he's just cheated and he wants to do it again and omg he really is in love with obi-wan this is wonderful and terrible and anakin has never felt better or worse so he runs to sheari's private residence ---that he found through slicing into her private files at the very beginning of their sessions---and he's like "I KISSED OBI-WAN" and she (mostly asleep) is like "why is this a middle of the night issue and how did you know where i live" and then the whole story sort of spills out of anakin because he needs therapy right now to figure out what to do

which results in a very sleep deprived anakin going to padmé's place and confessing immediately

and they probably both want a divorce after that

[cherryblossomshadow]

#I particularly love the “You just don't know him like I do” #Although you can take this metaphor even farther #Obi-Wan is his brother who just stops talking about politics and anything controversial so he doesn't have to face that his baby bro #is turning into That Family Member #And Ahsoka is so busy pretending there's nothing wrong with Anakin that she's taking it out on Obi-Wan and Maul #twisting herself into something she isn't to please a big brother who only cares about her if she loves and approves of him #Meanwhile Rex and Anakin only talk about cars and video games so he has Zero Clue that Anakin is slowly being seduced by #Chancellor “Tucker Carlson” Palpatine

#Like none of these people can believe what Anakin is actually turning into #And none of them realize that the whole “fascism could be fun!” is not a joke or a bug #but it's THE feature of Anakin.exe #When you live in fear there are two ways to go #if you're not really in a position to take the third way and do some hard and serious work with therapy #You can live your life riddled by anxiety and people pleasing like myself #Or you can turn into a bully and lose your arms and legs to your best friend and platonic soul mate #(trying to keep it canon-compliant here) #and then almost burn to death on the banks of a lava river to own “the libs”

#The tragedy of Anakin Skywalker is that we ALL have the potential to become Darth Vader #We have ALL experienced something like this in this day and age no matter how far removed you may feel you are from it #We are all Obi-Wan standing on the black sand on Mustafar #our hearts breaking because the person we loved let their fear overwhelm them #and take them to a deep dark place without light love and compassion #So yeah #Sorry I took this into a sad and serious place

(tags courtesy of @fireflyfish)

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Anakin literally says “I think a strong man should be put in charge to force decisions on people” and her response is “oh stop teasing me heehee”. She’s got no excuse lol. (comment courtesy of @galeriasophia)

.

I've always said Padmé should just sleep with him and not marry him. There's no reason she needed to marry him. Even if she wanted kids, she could adopt. Absolutely no reason to have a secret husband at all. I figured it was just Lucas wanting Luke and Leia to have married parents (old school view on traditional marriage=ok to have babies) (comment courtesy of @professorerudite)

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Transcript under the cut:

so I've always had a problem with Padme and anakin's relationship. Bro, Hayden Christensen is just staring into my soul right now. But anyway, I didn't really like it. I didn't think it was built up all that well. And I never really felt like these 2 really liked each other all that much, let alone loved each other But I just realized why this relationship works. This is a liberal white woman and her conservative boyfriend. She has stickers that says BLM, My Body My Choice, Ally. And his stickers are of the thin blue line flag, don't tread on me, and just Come and Take It. He does not hang out with any of her friends, because they both hate each other, and she knows it, so she just keeps them separate. And when he fell down the alt-right pipeline, she was crying, and she was like, "I can't believe this has happened. This is not the man I fell in love with." And all of her friends are like, "Padme. This is his second genocide. Like, we're sorry that you're sad, but we did tell you." Like, on more than one occasion, Padme has said, "You just don't know him like I do."

im sorry to my anakin loving mutuals but this is so fucking funny

[mwolf0epsilon]

It's 7am and I'm thinking about the 501st getting cursed by a witch with a twisted sense of humor. God won't let me sleep and I'm making it everyone else's problem.

Ok so, let's pretend for a moment things aren't such a constant nightmare, and that Echo, Tup, Dogma and Hardcase are still with the 501st well after Umbara and the sort. Ahsoka doesn't leave the Order and Kix doesn't get swiper swiped by Dooku, so they're all headed on some campaign to this tiny little planet that's full of like, really superstitious tales about it. The stuff that borders on "there's no way that's real", or "that's not how the Force works" as the Jedi call it, and that's got a few troopers being a bit disrespectful because they're not here to listen to fairytale nonsense.

Rex is apprehensive, because he's been around Jedi long enough to know the Force can pull some major dick-moves, so he tries to be respectful and focuses mostly on helping Anakin and Ahsoka with the finer details of their mission. The boys are grown and trained soldiers, they better act like it while they mingle among locals. His cautious attitude gives him a free pass to watch the shenanigans unfold. The rest of the 501st on the other hand... Not so much...

To put a long-winded explanation I don't currently have the braincells to elaborate on, Fives pisses off a witch and gets cursed. The others try to fix his mess, and get bound to his curse. Basically, anything Fives says now has major consequences because his words have literal power.

The spells he accidentally casts take a little time to take affect, so Fives doesn't realize his words have any power until he's basically cursed half the battalion. And as soon as he realizes this, he tries to fix it to no avail. He can't take back what he said, even if he really wants to.

Little gripes weight heavily, like when he complained that Tup's hair kept clogging the shower, so now his little brother's growing hair all over and looking like a Wookie on shedding season (Tup is absolutely distressed because he doesn't know why this is happening to him and oh god what if he's sent to Kamino because he's mutating?!). How he noted that Hardcase being a ball of boundless energy kept him awake the other night, so now Hardcase can't sleep and has too much energy and it's driving him crazy because he's running out of distractions (his mind is too active and nothing is making it stop and none of his methods are working and it's overwhelming!!!). Or how he teased Jesse about his tattoo being ridiculous, so now everyone bursts into uncontrollable laughter when they see his face (it stopped being funny the 3rd time it happened, by the 10th Jesse started feeling confused as to why everyone was laughing at him, and by the 25th he took to hiding because he feels humiliated and ashamed of his appearance)

The major arguments tough... Those are the worst ones. Those are the really bad curses...

He calls Kix absolutely frigid when his brother gives him hell for getting unnecessarily hurt. Kix is now constantly freezing, unable to warm up no matter what, and his trembling makes it hard to do his job as a medic without risking harming his vod'ika (it's so cold, his little brothers are piling blankets on him, huddling for warmth, and giving him warm drinks, but there's a blue tint to him and everything hurts).

Dogma calling him out for being overly blunt to the point of insubordination and disrespectfulness, leads to an argument where Fives called him a massive booming headache. So Dogma starts gradually getting bigger and bigger, until he towers over the trees and is unable to safely talk without risking bursting his brother's eardrums from the sheer volume of his voice (he doesn't know what's happening to him, and when his voice starts shattering glass he grows terrified of how he could easily hurt his brothers, so he stays as far away from camp as possible because he'd rather be lonely and afraid than risk ever hurting his vode again) .

The worst one he has is with Echo... At that point they're well aware of the curse but everyone is stressed and afraid of what else Fives might inadvertently cause with his words, so Echo tries to get him to go apologize to the witch. Fives is scared too. This curse is a monstrous affair and he's accidentally hurt his brothers, and now Echo is pushing for him to apologize when the witch was a lot more unreasonable than him and threw out a punishment that basically hurt everyone but the culprit and that's wrong! They end up arguing, and Fives makes the mistake of bringing up Echo's name origins into the argument and that if he doesn't have anything original to say then he shouldn't say anything at all...

And suddenly Echo stops talking.

Not of his own will. He just... Can't talk. And Fives realizes what he's done and covers his own mouth because the look of shock and betrayal on his now mute twin's face (he did this, he hurt Echo, he took his voice, he took his trust and shattered it into a million pieces, he's a terrible vod) is making him ill. He just took his brother's voice from him and he can't give it back...

Yeah... So that's a thought I've had. Fives gets cursed, and it's the 501sts problem because Fives just doesn't know when to shut up when he's stressed. Sometimes people say stupid things they don't mean and unfortunately the damage is done and can't be easily repaired. And that's the lesson the witch is forcing him to learn.

Also Rex just left the boys for 10 minutes and came back to this horror show... He's going to demand a pay then a raise for dealing with all of this.