#he's then gonna call up ali and sob at her for a few minutes

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 33 Week 5: I'm Annoyed

Hey y'all. We're back. And I'm a little annoyed about the show last week. I'll start my regular reviews next week. But for now, I'm gonna do some ramblings and spill my thoughts. So here we go.

The Elimination

I was completely fine with Brooks being eliminated. It was the only thing that made sense at this point and I couldn't stomach another moment of Gleb giving her trash choreography and half assing teaching her while going full steam ahead with the showmance for the THIRD SEASON. I couldn't even really tell you what dance they because there was no technique. It could've been a salsa, a cha-cha or a samba. Idk. Brooks could've been much better with any other pro because the potential was there. But here we are. Unfortunately.

Derek and Hayley's Dance

It was really beautiful and it was so nice to see Hayley out there dancing like that again. That's so scary what they went through. I can't imagine Derek's actual feelings in the moment. The brain is no joke.

The Scores/Judging

Mark was a mostly great addition. He was sometimes on some bs though (along with the other judges). So I'm wondering what is going on. Chandler, Joey and Danny should've been tied for the lead with 34 points each. Phaedra should've gotten the same score as Dwight. Jenn should've been given a 30/31 because Sasha sh*t the bed once again.

Thoughts on Individual Couples

So I have a few other lingering thoughts. The first is this weird standard that they are holding Chandler to. The reason I hate contemporary on this show is because it's not valued if it doesn't make you spit up, shake sob, dribble, snot and fart once you're done. That dance was perfectly fine. It was almost perfect minus a lift where Chandler's dress got in Brandon's face and a slight out of sync moment in the side by side choreo. Chandler dances with conviction. She hits her marks, she doesn't just step. She full out dances. None of them feel the same in terms of the feeling. Yeah, this contemporary was lighter, but we weren't dealing with a heavy topic. Her mother is still very much alive and well. She was thanking her. Trying to make it all extra sad would ring as inauthentic and I'm glad that Brandon spoke to that in their interviews. You could tell that they both were confused and that Chandler was shaken by the strange critique.

This Phaedra and Val partnership is not working. Sorry. Homie checked out this season and is not giving Frack (for all you RHOA fans out there) dances that show her in the best light. Is Phaedra the best dancer? No. But she could be so much better if her pro tried. That rumba was the best example of that. Mama pulled a Reggie and that's the one dance I thought she would kill. I'm so disappointed and I wish she had gotten someone else. So far Brandon has done the best with his RHOA star, followed by Tony (surprisingly). Val is sucking this season. I'm just gonna flat out say it.

Sasha had one good week of choreo and went back to bs. That foxtrot was atrocious. I need him in a class or something because the way his choreography skills have regressed in 6 years is WILD.

Joey and Danny, while both good, are being given very kind scores. Joey was skip stepping during that whole dance and Danny needs to loosen up just a bit more (his foxtrot is still my favorite dance of his). The judges are rightfully calling out Stephen for his areas of growth. The same needs to be done for those other two.

I enjoyed Ilona's dance a lot and I think she would benefit with talking to Laila Ali. I feel like that would help her really settle into the dance world in her own unique way. She's almost there, there are just a few more things she's gotta tend to.

Dwight was fine. I want him to dance from his whole body and not just picking a couple different places to focus on.

That's it. Sorry this is late again. Life and I was annoyed with the show last week. But Disney week starts in 5 minutes for the Eastern and Central time zones. So I'll talk to you all very soon.

[leohtttbriar]

at some point, johnny lawrence --maybe as he’s slurping up some ice-cream, sitting in the sun, laughing with someone he once thought he hated in an eco-friendly garden --

he is gonna accidentally think, “what even is winning, anyway?” and it will make him start crying into aforementioned ice cream and make his ‘buddy’-who-he-doesn’t-hate struggle to comfort him (“umm, let it out, i guess?” -- “ice cream is just so nice...*sob noise* i don’t want to fight it ‘sob noise’” -- “yeah, well, you don’t have ta?”)

[a-cluttered-gordon-freeman]

Ok. Ok ok. @faebiie you asked for this.

3 days till the defeat of the Combine. The main three had made a camp surrounding a very large apartment complex. It served greatly, there was only one way inside the camp- a small grate that led to the apartments sewers.

Gordon had spent a vast majority outside of the camp. He insisted he do the patrols. There hadn't been any action from the Combine, but Gordon wasn't willing to miss out on the fighting.

Alyx watched Gordon from the penthouse window. She had grown concerned for Gordon. Whether it was the fact he hadn't left the HEV suit for the past two months or had only six (seven?) hours of sleep. Or perhaps it was because Gordon was practically hiding several wounds under the hazard suit. Whatever it was, Alyx hated the thought and hated even more the feeling.

"Gordon's not gonna come in anytime soon if ya keep watchin' him," Barney chuckled, taking another sip on his beer. Alyx rolled her eyes at hom.

"I know Barney. Its just-"

"You love him. I know, Aly. But Gordon doesn't need you ta worry 'bout him. He doesn't need saving. Gordon's got this war won."

Alyx looked down, upset.

A rebel burst in through the door. "We need your help! The Combine are attacking!"

With that, Alyx and Barney ran downstairs and out onto the scene.

The fight only lasted an hour. 1,000 fought, two hundred died and about six hundred injured, half in critical.

As everyone gathered inside to sheild away from the Combine, Alyx waited for Gordon at the gates.

And she waited.

And waited.

In total Alyx waited about five hours before going to search for Gordon. As she searched, she began thinking the worst.

What if he was taken hostage?

What if he was horribly injured?

What if he died?

She shook her head, trying hard, desperately hard, to get such thoughts away for her.

Becoming desperate, and having just made a full lap around the apartment, Alyx began calling for Gordon, running through the streets. Her call didn't go unnoticed, however, for as she called, she heard distantly...

"Alyx....?" Gordon was weak, but safe enough. He could hear Alyx's cries, but alas, couldn't soothe her. Fuck, the man couldn't even stand. His side had been blown off by a hefty shotgun- ironically, his own- and it left him heavily wounded and vulnerable.

As Gordon heard Alyx's cries grow softer, he searched for a flare or a pistol, whatever he could use to attract her attention. Finding only his blasted shotgun, he raised it up and fired.

It wasn't long until he was found. But unfortunately for Gordon, he was found by the wrong people.

Alyx ran around the corner to see Gordon getting the shit shot out of him by a few Combine soldiers. Firing her own gun, Alyx managed to pick off several of the soldiers, unfortunately leaving one to run off.

Ignoring the run away, Alyx set off over to Gordon, who was miraculously still breathing.

Hes still breathing, still alive, hes ok, he needs help, get him help, get him home-

Alyx lifted Gordon over shoulder and started running over to the apartments, the poor man limp and bleeding. As they burst through the door, Gordon was relieved of his armor, which was fully wrecked and therefore trash and soon taken to the medic bay, and Alyx was instructed to shower.

One full day until the Combine were liberated.

Everyone was waiting on Gordon to even slightly show signs of life. He had been left in critical, he had lost way too much blood to even be deemed alive.

Alyx watched over Gordon as the man slept. She gripped his hand, held back tears, and started trying to speak to him about something- anything- to even get a soft nod or a squeeze from him.

Kleiner and Barney watched Alyx hopelessly as she spoke. Soon Kleiner left the room, unable to watch Alyx speak mindlessly.

Barney sat by Alyx. "Y'a know, I don't think he's gonna come back from this. I think its over fer him."

"No its not!" Alyx bowed her head and started crying. "Its not over! He can still come back!"

"Aly, he ain't comin back." Barney set a hand on Alyx, prompting a punch from her.

"He'll make it! He has to! He has to..!" Alyx collapsed, sobbing hard.

Barney watched Alyx before going over and hugging her. They both held the hug for atleast ten minutes before taking tgeir respective spots next to Gordon.

The last day for the rule of the Combine.

As rebelmen and medics prepped for this final battle, Kleiner, Barney and Alyx waited around Gordons bed- either for a flatline or for a wake up.

The hours ticked on as silence, with exception of the heart monitor, filled the room and held still everyone's voices. It felt wrong to talk, wrong to move, wrong to even breathe as they watched Gordon's heart monitor.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Some church bells tolled as noon hit and the first bullet was fired outside. The Combine had been the first to attack, and there were many. Too many for everyone, an upsetting ration of one rebel for every 40 soldiers.

As the sound of gunfire rang outside, Kleiner, Barney, and Alyx waited by Gordon's bed. The noise of the gunfire and heart monitor upset the mood, but there was no stopping the war. No way they could risk killing hundreds of revels just so they could listen to Gordon's life line.

Another hour passed. Kleiner left the room to help the medics with some of the rebel injuries. Alyx and Barney sat uncomfortably as the monitor beeped on.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep beep. Beep beep.

The heart monitor raced as Gordon stirred and sat up, wincing and letting in a sharp and pained gasp of air. Taking a long look around the room, Gordon put on his glasses and grinned weakly.

"Didja miss me?"

"Gordon!" Alyx wrapped her arms tightly around Gordon's neck, nearly strangling the poor man. He patted her back as an attempt at offering consolance.

Barney smiled and took Gordon's free hand. "Glad to have you back."

"Glad to be back."

Alyx backed away from Gordoon and wiped her eyes clear of tears. "You haven't missed much, todays the final day."

Gordon nodded. "Thats great. You two head on out, I'll see to it that I can snipe out the soldiers, for unfortunately I can't be on the front lines. We can chat later."

Alyx and Barney nodded.

"We'll give em hell in your name, doc."

With that, Barney and Alyx left the room with a clear conscience on a single goal: some time with Gordon.

[buckleysjareau]

stand, you’re gonna run again

911 Week, Day 3: “We can do this.” + hurt

Freddie Costas without a doubt ruined Evan Buckley’s life.

When the ladder truck blew up, it blew up his life along with it.

or

A look into Bobby being there for Buck after the ladder truck bombing, and Buck coming to terms with knowing trauma doesn't just go away by brushing it off.

Freddie Costas without a doubt ruined Evan Buckley’s life.

When the ladder truck blew up, it blew up his life along with it. The excruciating pain in his leg had no match for the emotional damage Freddie Costas inflicted on Buck’s life. All because his father ended up in jail for committing a crime and he had a vendetta against those that got him there.

Don’t get him wrong, he’d rather it have been him and not Bobby, but the outcome still had him hurting emotionally and physically. 

That night was somewhat of a blur for him, thank God. He doesn’t remember the sound of the bomb as it went off underneath him and around him or Bobby confronting Freddie. He doesn’t even remember being pulled out by Eddie and Hen as civilians lifted the giant ladder truck off of him, but later, he’d remember the pain when he wakes up in the hospital.

The things he remembers clearly make things just a little easier. He remembers Eddie’s hand holding his the entire four minute ride to the hospital. He remembers Hen’s voice trying to remain calm as she tries to get Buck to keep his eyes open. He remembers Bobby promising to meet him there and that things were going to be okay. He remembers the hope.

Then he wakes up and finds out he might not be able to work again and the hope is gone.

But Ali is there. Ali is there alongside everyone else and he’s glad he has her there, too. But then she leaves, like Abby left.

At least she had the decency to break it off.

Her reason for breaking up with him confuses him. Yeah, he almost died and yes, his job is dangerous but ladder trucks don’t typically get blown up by teenagers with vendettas on their calls. 

But, hey, at least she’s not telling him to quit his job. She knows how much his job means. 

That night might have been a blur to him when he was awake, but when he went to sleep, everything was clear and too real. He hears Freddie’s voice and feels the weight of the entire truck crushing not only his leg but his entire body. His chest. The bomb going off is just as loud in his dreams and he wants it to stop, to stop reliving something he couldn’t even remember that clearly when he’s awake. 

The nightmares happen a lot, but the first time he tells anyone about them is after he’s just been thrown out of one, this time being woken up as Freddie’s bomb goes off, killing him and Bobby instantly. 

He can’t get himself to breathe in his waking moments and the pain in his leg is so excruciating that he can’t move it to sit up. He fumbles around, looking for his phone, and he lets out a sigh of relief in the middle of his panic when he finds it. He doesn’t look at the time, can’t look at the time, only focused on finding the contact he was looking for. It wasn’t hard, seeing as he was his last call.

“Buck?” Bobby’s sleep tinged voice rings through the phone and Buck’s panic. 

Buck sobs. “Bobby, it-it hurts.”

“Buck? What hurts? Are you okay?” Bobby sounds well awake now and is using his Captain’s voice, to calm Buck, or himself, who knows? “Buck, you gotta breathe through it. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Do you need me to call 9-1-1?”

“No! Don’t call 9-1-1, please, I’m not injured!” 

Bobby ends up getting there in ten minutes, the speeding he was doing would definitely not impress his wife, but seeing his face, Buck’s grateful. 

“You okay, kid? What happened?” He sits on the edge of Buck’s bed and puts a hand on his shoulder in comfort. 

The only thing that can escape Buck’s cries are, “it hurts, it hurts so bad, make it stop, please!” He’s hyperventilating, he knows that, but the only thing he was focused on was his leg. It’s cramping and on fire and the weight of his blanket is too much for it but he can’t get it off. 

Bobby jumps right into action and carefully lifts Buck’s blanket off of him the rest of the way. If Bobby notices how shuffled everything was, as if someone was in a panic to get away from it, he doesn’t mention it as he uses everything in him to keep himself calm. He’s rubbing Buck’s bad leg to get the cramp to go away and Buck wishes he could focus on that instead of the mental anguish of watching him die in his sleep. 

Twenty minutes come and go by the time Buck has calmed down and isn’t in excruciating pain. 

“It felt like the ladder truck was crushing it again.” Buck whispers into his dark room. “I can’t escape it.”

Bobby sucks in a breath. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“You-you couldn’t get control of Freddie and his bo-bomb went off.” He chokes out.

“Hey, kid, that didn’t happen. It was just a nightmare. I’m okay, see? We’re okay.”

“We’re okay.” Buck repeats.

Buck hated physical therapy. 

He knows he has to go, knows he has to suffer through it so he can have his job back. He knows it’ll be better for him in the long run. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t despise it with everything he has in him. 

He had good days and he had bad days in PT. The good ones left him feeling like things were going to work out and the pain in his leg wasn’t bad enough to bother him all that much. But the bad days leave him in so much pain, and he can’t tell if the emotional or physical pain is worse.

Today was one of those bad days. 

The physical therapist is working him harder than usual it seems and the burn in his leg starts to be too much. He’s got Bobby in there with him and Buck knows he’s just trying to help by being encouraging but the faith he had in him to make it to him filled Buck with this agitation that he can’t keep away. 

He’s halfway to where Bobby is standing when his leg twinges with an unbearable pain. He winces and tries to keep going with Bobby’s encouragement but it hits again and he falls.

Buck groans as he holds his leg. His physical therapist isn’t as encouraging as Bobby with telling him to get up and keep going. 

“You have to get up and keep moving, Evan.” He hates the way the man says his name and hates the lack of compassion that Buck knows he’s supposed to have with this job. 

Buck scoffs. “I have to? Why don’t you go get crushed by thousands of pounds of municipal equipment and then have some asshole tell you to get up and keep moving. Then I’ll keep moving.” 

“I know you’re in a lot of pain, Mr. Buckley, but you have to keep going. You’re almost there.” 

“Actually, you don’t know. Because if you did, you’d let me take a fucking breather, but instead you’re talking down to me like I’m a child, like do you know how condescending you sound, dude? If you can’t show some compassion with people then why don’t you get a new job, huh? I’m sure everyone here would be a lot happier-”

“Buck!” Bobby cuts him off. “I get you’re in pain here, but you just have to think that once you’re done with this, we can leave. Just walk to me and we’ll leave.”

“Seriously, Bobby?” 

“Athena is waiting at home with your favorite, ready for you to eat, okay? Just a few more steps and we’ll leave.” Buck’s resolve breaks at the mention of Athena’s cooking and he rolls his eyes, tries with everything in him to stand up, not accepting the physical therapist’s help. “You’ve got three more steps, Buck, you can do it.”

His leg burns and the pain is really enough to make him dizzy, but he manages the three steps and collapses into Bobby’s arms. 

“There you go, kid, you did it!” Bobby grins, letting Buck put all of his weight onto his shoulder and helps him stand up right. “Now let’s go eat some good food. Athena’s excited to see you.”

“Thank you.”

“Anytime, kiddo.”

By the time Buck was finally back to work, he thought he’d gotten over the ladder truck incident. He sure as hell had new trauma to worry about and the first time he was in a firetruck again, he managed not to have a panic attack, so he assumed he was okay. Made his peace with it after the lawsuit, too.

A call hits too close to home for him and he realizes he was never over the incident.

The one-eighteen are called to the scene of a car accident, one fatality and two severely injured. He could already tell just how bad the scene was going to be by the bad feeling in his gut. 

When they get there, Bobby instructs Hen and Chimney to one of the severely injured, a girl about twenty-five with a gushing head wound. He instructs Buck and Eddie to follow him to the other side of a turned over car and when he sees what’s happening, he freezes.

The guy’s leg is trapped under his car and he’s screaming in agony. He wants to jump in and help but he can’t get his legs to move and he feels like he’s trapped again. He feels like he’s back under the ladder truck. 

“118, 118, this is dispatch. We got Bobby Nash on the line, he says it’s important.”

“Wait, what? Dispatch, please re-” BOOM.

Chimney’s voice is the last thing Buck hears before his life blows up. He wakes up on the ground, a blinding pain in his leg and in his ears as they ring. He feels as the glass breaks and falls onto his leg. Movement out of the corner of his eye has him trying to move his head but all that gives him is pain everywhere. 

The kid standing above him has a bomb strapped to him and the smirk he’s wearing has Buck’s stomach screaming with pain in fear. He wasn’t worried about himself, he was already going to die, it’s his friends he’s worried about. They all have someone that depends on them. 

“You’re new.” Another pain jolts through him and he’s pretty sure he blacks out because when his eyes flutter open again, the kid is screaming for Bobby and Chimney is walking towards the bomber like an idiot and he wants to tell him not to do it, but he can’t.

“No, no, I don’t want you. I want Captain Nash.” And before Buck can thank God that Bobby isn’t there, he’s walking towards the bomber with his hands up and when he starts to feel numb, he can’t tell if it’s because of his injuries or the fear he feels watching Bobby confronting a kid that wants him dead. 

“Freddie.” So Bobby knows him.

His ears are still ringing and he feels everything and nothing at the same time and he just wants to shut his eyes and sleep. He can’t do that, though. He could just hear Hen’s voice telling him to stay awake. He doesn’t want to die. He can’t leave Maddie like that, he won’t leave her or Christopher or Eddie or anyone that he loves. He doesn’t want to die but he’s scared he’s going to.

In the midst of his fear and the fading in and out, he misses Bobby wrestle the trigger from Freddie. At least Bobby’s okay. 

“Buck, how we doing?” He finally hears Hen’s soothing voice. She’s okay. 

“Kind of numb.” 

He fades in and out between their voices, he knows he hears Eddie telling him to hang on but hey, Eddie can go home to his kid, too, so it’s okay if he sleeps. 

“Stay awake, Buck, just hang on. Keep your eyes open.” 

“I don’t wanna die…” He mumbles and suddenly Eddie’s gripping his hand tightly. He can’t really feel it but he knows it’s happening and that’s enough to keep his eyes open. 

“You’re not gonna die, Buck. We’re gonna get you out of here, alright? Can you squeeze onto my hand?” Buck does as he’s asked and then there’s that blinding pain again as he’s being pulled but nothing happens. They try again, he knows, but he blacks out from pain when he’s pulled again. 

“We can do this.” Bobby says and- what? That’s not right. Eddie said that.

“We can do this, Buck--

“We got this, now sit down.” Buck’s not there anymore, he’s at the scene of an accident and when did it get so hard to breathe? 

He can’t talk. He can’t focus on anything around him and he can’t tell what’s real. He knows he’s not under the truck but it still feels like it and he knows Hen is in front of him trying to ground him but she did that before he was pulled out from the truck so where was--

“The guy?”

“Eddie and Bobby just got him out, Chimney’s checking him over but he’s okay.” She assures him. “I’m worried about you right now, though. You feeling any better? Do you know where you are?”

Buck shrugs. “I’m out on a call. What the hell happened?” 

“I think you had a flashback.” Bobby pipes in from Buck’s side. “I’m not surprised considering the nature of this call.”

He doesn’t look at anyone on the way back to the station. He’s embarrassed and the lingering anxiety isn’t helping anything. He knows Eddie is looking at him, can feel his eyes on him, but he really isn’t in any mood to be pitied right now. 

As soon as they’re back at the station, Bobby clears his throat. “Buck, meet me in my office after you shower.” 

It makes what was supposed to be a relaxing shower a total nightmare of overthinking. Did Bobby see he really wasn’t ready to be back? Was he going to bench him again, keep him at the house for chores and refuse to let him out on calls? He passed his psych evaluation long ago but what if that wasn’t enough for Bobby? He probably thinks he’s too unstable and unfit to be out in the field.

By the time he’s dried and dressed, he’s thought through every worse case scenario twenty times over. 

He knocks on Bobby’s door and hesitates opening it even after he’s told he can come in. 

“You can stop looking like you’re in trouble, Buck. I promise you’re not.” Bobby chuckles.

“Kind of feels like I’m being called into the principal's office, so can you blame me?” He tries to joke but it ends up just falling flat with the mood he’s in. 

“I’m just checking on you. I wanted to make sure you’re okay mentally to work for the rest of your shift-”

“I only have two hours left.” This feels like deja vu to Buck. Bobby sent him home after a hard day of being made fun of by children and getting the cold shoulder from Eddie, even though he only had two hours left on his shift. It kind of feels like that’s what’s happening now, like he doesn’t trust Buck to stay the rest of the shift.

“I’m not going to send you home, but I really need to make sure you’re okay to go out on calls. I need you there with me, Buck. All of you there. I don’t want you or anyone else to get hurt because you’re not in a headspace to be at a call.” 

Buck sighs. “I’m fine, it was just a bad call.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

Buck’s silent for a minute before he decides to speak up. “I saw his leg crushed under his car and his screams were so… familiar. I just froze and felt like I was under the truck again, and then suddenly I was. I was there again, Bobby, and I could hear Freddie’s voice and I heard you talking but I couldn’t tell if it was you then or you now. It was just confusing and I felt like I was dying again. What the hell happened?”

“You had a flashback. They’re common for people with PTSD.” He pauses as he pulls out a business card. “Frank specializes in PTSD, so I’d really like it if you spoke to him because I know you’ve never seen anyone for it.”

“I don’t need it.”

“Kid, you’ve had so much happen to you in the past year. You’ve been through a lot and I would just feel a lot better as a friend and as a captain if you went to see Frank.”

“Fine.”

Frank ends up being a bigger help than Buck could have imagined. He actually got his feelings out after being stubborn the first few sessions, and doing so helped more than he ever thought it would. He was taught grounding exercises and gave Buck what he called a Dream Journal, for when he wakes up from nightmares to write down what he felt. 

He doesn’t think that will help, but it ends up being good for him when he’s freaked out to the point of almost calling Bobby or Eddie. He’ll write down how he feels instead and focusing on it is what usually calms him down. 

His relationships with his family grow stronger now that he’s starting to talk about what he’s feeling and speaking up for himself. He tells Bobby when he’s not doing so great in his head, which happens to be the hardest thing to do and takes him a while, but he does it. Bobby can see as Buck starts to relax around them again, and can see when he starts to finally realize that having emotions and going through hard times isn’t putting his job in jeopardy.

As he sits across from Bobby and Athena with Christopher on his lap, and Eddie next to him in the Grant-Nash’s backyard, he finally knows everything is okay. 

That he’s okay. 

[unloveable-unreachable]

You’re the One My Heart Wants- Chapter 2

Word Count: 2,034

Warnings:  I’m just giving out a warning before you read this chapter. There’s a lot of sensitive topics being talked about, especially family problems. If that can be triggering to you then please don’t read this chapter. & Swearing

Author: Me

Y/N POV

“Y/N!” Ali calls from the top of the trail with Logan, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Come on sleepy head. I bet you’re regretting some of those drinks by now,” she laughs, “Catch up, Ash found a spot and has lunch ready.” I will never understand why they enjoy doing this every weekend and on their off days. I’d rather be at the gym working out than being out in nature with the bugs. I have nothing against bugs really, it’s spiders that I have a problem with. Fuck spiders. I hear Ali threaten to send Ash down for me, and if there’s one thing I know better than anything- don’t piss off Ashlyn Harris. I love both of my moms equally, but Ash just scares me when she gets pissed off (so does Ali, but don’t tell her that). I pick up my pace, but if I’m being honest I can’t shake what’s taking up my mind.

“Can I sleep with you?” Alex asks with puppy dog eyes that could sway Thanos himself. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. How could anyone tell this angelic being no?? It seems absolutely impossible for me. “Um, yeah. Of course, no problem,” I manage to get out even though I’m still completely breathless from the sight of her. She smiles brightly at me and steps in my room. I shut the door, take a breath and finally turn to face her.

“Hey Y/N, are you okay?” Ash says before biting into her apple. Ali looks at me with concern, normally I’d joke with her and tell her that her mom was showing but I refrain from that joke just for the moment. “Yeah mom, I’m okay. I just have a lot on my mind right now,” I respond. They take that as a good answer even though I know I’m hiding something from them. But what was I even hiding? I didn’t understand it enough to explain it, or even remember the whole thing fully. “Was that Alex’s car in your driveway when I came to pick you up?” Ali asks while watching Logan chase a squirrel around a tree. Ash looks at both of us a little confused she wasn’t informed beforehand. Ali just gives her a small smile before focusing all of her attention to me. I freeze at the mention of Alex. “Uh, yeah it was. She and Kelley came over last night for drinks and they just stayed the night. Kelley left right before you got there,” I say as Ash passes me a bottle of water. “What about Alex? Where was she when I got there?” Ali asks with confusion clear on her face. “She was still passed out upstairs when I left,” is all I answer.

“Aren’t you gonna get in bed?” Drunk Alex asks. I’m literally so nervous, I still haven’t moved from the spot by my dresser. “Uh, yeah. Hold on,” I answer as I step into my bathroom. I hear Alex call out my name as I splash a shit ton of water over my face. Why am I freaking out? She’s straight. I never considered her before, even though I’m sure as hell doing it now. “It’ll be fine,” I state to myself in the mirror before opening the door. As I step out, all I see is her sitting up, staring at me with her ocean eyes.

After finishing up the hellish hike, that’s just my opinion, I follow Ali back to her car. But not before telling Logan bye and giving Ash a big bear hug, since we’re practically the same size except I’m just slightly taller than her. She pats the top of my head before I jog over to Ali’s car, and we head back to my house. For probably the first time ever me and Ali sit in awkward silence. She breaks the silence first, “So just to be clear, you are gay. Right?” I’m caught by surprise by what she says, not offended just surprised. I look up at her and I can immediately see the concern in her eyes. I sigh. “Yes I am, but not openly with my family,” I say as I look down at my hands. Ali is silent for maybe two minutes before she lets out a long sigh. She pulls the car over in a parking lot I don’t recognize. I’m in a state of confusion, while Ali looks like she’s trying to figure out what exactly to say. “I support your life choices. I know how hard it was for you to leave Portland, mostly because you would call me or Ash every night crying. And that broke our hearts, and we were happy knowing that you would be coming here where we can be there for you no matter what. The team is happy you’re here, especially me and Ash. We’ve loved you since 2015, back when you were still our little rookie,” she stops trying to compose herself. “Can you tell me why your family doesn’t know?” Ali finally finishes with a shaky voice.

As she spoke, I just looked at her, studying her face. She wasn’t just a teammate to me, she’s someone I looked up to when I made my way up to the professional level. This was Ali Krieger for god’s sake, I’ve never seen her get this emotional, ever. She, along with Ash, is someone I look up to in my career and my personal life. She was more of a mom to me than my own mother ever was. She’s been there through everything, my wins and loses and my injuries at the start of my career. She and Ash are the family I never knew I could have, or even deserved. But I’m glad I have them now. So after all of this, why had I waited so long to tell her the truth about my family, and why I never really talked about or to them? Would that change her view of me? I didn’t want pity from anyone when it comes to my family, and I know she wouldn’t give me any. This was the best time to tell her, especially since she’s being so open with me.

I swallow hard before blurting everything out to her. “My family is a difficult one to understand. My grandfather is a football coach and a hateful man. He never supported me when I started playing soccer. My grandmothers are homophobic, and when I say that I mean they are hateful towards them like you’ve never seen. And my mom didn’t hide her view on gay people either. I’m the oldest sister of three girls. Ever since I can remember I’ve been expected to be great, no excuses. They forced me into sports I didn’t like, so when I went into soccer I became the disappointment of the family. I don’t know what they have against the sport, or why me playing it was such a big deal. I thought they would support my choice in playing the sport I loved like they supported my sisters in the things they did. No matter what I do, or how successful I am, it’s never enough for them. I’m the most successful out of my sisters. They’re praised because they have husbands and children, fulfilling their ‘birthright’. And through all of that, I’m left in the background. My family’s view on gay people hasn’t changed since I was young enough to know what they were talking about, and I realized how wrong they were even back then. I figured out I was gay when I was 13, and any sign of that had to be hidden away or I’d be punished. If they ever found out that I’m gay, I wouldn’t just be the disappointment. I would be completely disowned, meaning no contact ever again from anyone. I can’t lose my family,” I say through the tears that started at some point.

Ali was crying, too. Like uncontrollable sobs were coming from both of us. She reached for me, pulling me into a tight hug. This caused me to cry harder into her shoulder, and I could feel her physically shaking from her cries. We both comforted each other until Ali finally spoke up. “I’m so so sorry, Y/N. That should never be something you should have to worry about. If they can’t accept you for who you are, then you don’t deserve them and they definitely don’t deserve you,” she says as she brushes a tear from my cheek. “You have a family. Me, Ash, and Logan are your family. Hell, even Kyle’s your family,” she laughs, “And we aren’t going anywhere anytime soon, I promise.” That last sentence hit my heart so hard it made me cry even more. I pull her into another hug, only this one much tighter. “I love you, Ali,” I say through my soft sobs. “I love you too, kiddo.”

Ali finally gets me back to my house after our heart-to-heart. Our car ride home let me think over all of the shit my family has put me through and how my family, that was Ali and Ash, treated me with more respect than my actual one ever did. I think I’ve come up with my decision about how to handle my family, finally. We pull in the driveway, and Alex’s car is gone. “So about Alex…” Ali starts to say as I go to get out of the car. “Yeah?” I asked confused. “She’s been through a lot, just be careful,” Ali says knowingly. I roll my eyes and say, “Careful Ali, your mom is showing.” She lets out a small laugh but goes back to a semi-serious look. “We’re just friends. Don’t worry so much, mom,” I say with a little smile at the end. I manage to get another laugh from her before we say our goodbyes.

I walked into my now empty house, besides Luna of course, and I keep getting flashbacks from the night before. A lot of them are of me dealing with a very drunk Kelley, a few are of me getting more alcohol, and a very select few have Alex in them. I move throughout the house fighting with the flashbacks while I try to clean up our collective messes from last night. When I make it up to my room, I notice that the bed is made and the room seems cleaner for some reason. I lean against the door, trying to piece together everything that happened and trying to figure out if I did something wrong. I look over at my bed, and suddenly I’m pulled back into a flashback.

“Alex, go to bed,” I whine as Alex keeps moving the bed. “I need to get comfy,” she says, giggling at the last word. I turn towards her and give her a serious look. “What do I need to do to get you ‘comfy’?” I ask as she starts giggling at that damn word again. When she finally stops she asks “Can we cuddle?” I roll my eyes, although she’d never notice because of the darkness and her drunkness, thinking that I could be asleep right now. I open my arms, inviting her in. She lets out a small squeal as she accepts my invitation, which was adorable. Just stating facts. She wraps her arms around my waist and snuggles into my chest. We lay there long enough for me to start drifting off to sleep, just to be woken up by Alex propping herself up on my chest. When I look up at her, even in the darkness, I could tell our faces were inches apart. And I could feel her breath on my lips.

I come out of my thoughts with Luna bringing something to me. “Whatcha got, Luna?” I ask as I lean down to take whatever it was from her mouth. It’s a note with my name on it. I make my way to the bed, sit down and open it. I sit in a frozen state as I read the seven words on the page.

“I can explain, can we please talk?”

To Be Continued

[lilulo-12]

In My Time of Dying-1

Because I totally need to start another story right???

This is another Supernatural story because I’m obsessed and we know how I love my OC’s. I use OC’s because I hate using “Y/N” and I need to be able to use details. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I suck at summaries! This is an original character story- Alianna Winchester, twin sister of Sam. It starts off right around when Dean comes back from hell. Ali and Sam’s relationship has been fractured since he left for Stanford. She struggles to repair their relationship has they navigate the Apocalypse, her close relationship with Dean and beyond. Like Sam- She is special in a very different way. Truly the Ying to his Yang that causes a deep connection between Ali and Castiel.

Let me know if you want to be tagged!!

Masterlist

Then:

“Ali, come on. Come with me to Stanford. Don’t stay here with him, on the road. You deserve so much better than this life.” Sam pleaded with his sister. She was the spitting image of their mother. Sam only knew by the pictures he had seen. Her wavy blonde hair spilled down her back. She had striking grey eyes. When she was upset, the flecks of gold stood out, like they were now. 

“Sam, it’s not about him. It’s about Dean. I’m not leaving him.” Sam’s stomach felt hollow from the pit in it. He always teased her about being the baby of the family, she was only about 2 minutes younger than him. They had been together every day, before their lives even started. He didn’t want to be without her now. Alianna had her bottom lip under her teeth as she stared at her brother. She was the rose between the two Winchester thorns. 

Sam tried to squash his jealousy. They had been a pair, they were close. They had their own language when they were kids, but to his sister, Dean hung the moon. She adored him and Dean doted on her more than he did Sam, if it was possible. She wouldn’t leave him. Sam knew that deep down. Sam also knew that Dean needed her now more than Sam would. 

Ali clasped her hand over her mouth to choke back her sob as she watch Sam get further and further away. Once he was out of her sight she squatted and buried her face in her hands and sobbed, getting it out of her system before she went back into the motel. She didn’t want John to see her break. She knew how upset her father was. If he thought Sam had made her cry, it would have been worse.

She was a Daddy’s girl. John and Mary had been surprised by Ali. They hadn’t expected twins. They struggled naming her as Sam and Dean had been named for Mary’s parents. John had always loved the name Ali, so they incorporated part of Deanna’s name to continue the tradition. John had loved his sons, but he had been a goner the moment he held his daughter. Even now, she could soften the harsh hunter. 

She heard the door to the motel room slam. She whipped around and saw her father jump into the Impala, undoubtedly headed to the bar. He didn’t notice her standing there. Her broken heart fell to a few more pieces. He and Sam had a difficult relationship. She hated it. Sam was half of her soul, but she adored her father, faults and all. She had to find a way to make John understand. A moment after John left, Dean stepped outside.

“Ali?” He called out to her. She didn’t try to hide her tears from him. He came rushing outside and wrapped her in his arms and let her cry. And she cried until it felt like she didn’t have any tears left. Sam was gone. Her other half was gone. She felt alone for the first time in her life.

“You didn’t go with him?” Dean finally asked. “I was sure that you would have packed a bag and gone too.”

“Not without you. Sam...he’ll be fine. On his own he’ll be just fine. But you and me? We’re more alike than Sam and I. We need to stick together. I just have to hope that someday he’ll come back.” Dean pressed a kiss to her forehead and then ushered her into the room.

Now:

Ali rubbed her forehead in confusion. Dean was alive. He was back from the dead. Back from hell. How was he back from hell? She watched as Bobby ran him through the gamut of tests to prove that he was, in fact, Dean. She covered her mouth and choked back a sob of relief. Once Bobby was satisfied, he stepped out of the way so Dean could pull Ali into his arms and hug her. She had never felt relief like this. She had never been as devastated as she had been when she watched Dean be ripped to shreds.

”Where’s Sammy?” it finally registered in his mind that his two siblings weren't together.

”I don't know.” Ali finally admitted after struggling to find the words.

”What do you mean you don't know?” She took a deep breath as Dean watched a variety of emotions cross her face.

“I was here, researching ways to get you back while he was out there searching. Then he vanished. I couldn’t find him. He didn’t want me or need me. I didn’t know what to do, so I stayed here, hoping he’d come back. I didn’t know what else to do.” 

“You should have stayed together!” Ali stepped away from her brother and his harsh tone. Bobby watched her visibly flinch. 

“He’s the one that ran off without me.” Dean’s eyes were burning into hers. “You should have gone with him in the first place.” 

“Dean! He didn’t want me with him! He asked me to stay here. I thought he needed space. He blames himself and he wanted to be effective in trying to get you back. I didn’t want to argue with him. So I lost you and then I lost him. I’ve been alone while Sam has been doing God knows what. I’m sorry. I should have done better. I’m sorry.” She was crying again. All she did for 4 months was cry. She wrapped her arms around herself and left the room and headed outside to get some air. 

She heard Bobby yelling at Dean, but she was a failure. She couldn’t save her father and she couldn’t save Dean. Sam didn’t want her because she was useless. She had a feeling Ruby had slithered her way back to Sam. She was far more valuable to Sam. Ruby could do things. Even the crossroads demons knew how useless she was. She sunk to her knees trying to figure out the precise moment their lives went to shit. There were too many to choose from. She held her face in her hands in the middle of the lot and cried. Her heart physically ached. It was overwhelming. The last time she felt this bad was when Sam had left for Stanford. Loosing John had been devastating, but it meant she kept Dean. Her father begged her not to be sad and to protect Dean. She couldn’t even do that. She felt her brother kneeling in front of her.

“Al...Ali...c’mon look at me.”  He Was begging, but she couldn’t look him in the eyes. She let him down too. She was supposed to take care of Sam and she couldn’t do that either. She finally pulled her hands away and wiped her eyes and looked at Dean. The fury and disappointment had melted into something softer. She held her hand up to him when he tried to speak.

“I wanted to keep him close. Keep him safe. He didn’t want me. I failed him and I failed Dad. I was supposed to keep you safe. I tried to get you back. I begged every last crossroad demon to take me and bring you back. Sam needs you more than me. The world needs you more than me. They didn’t want me. They said it wasn’t even a fair trade. I’m weak.” She watches the anger return to his face.

“Dammit Alianna! You tried to take my place? I couldn’t, I wouldn’t...You’re too good to be in hell. You hear me? You’re too pure. That’s why they didn’t want you. You are the best of all of us. They wouldn’t have been able to break you. They knew that. So they hurt you by making you think you were unworthy. It’s not true. I couldn’t have lived knowing you were down there for me. And Sam left because he’s undoubtedly doing some fucked up shit trying to get to me and he doesn’t want you to know. You being disappointed in him is worse than anything Dad ever threw at him.” Dean put his hand on the side of her face and made her look him in the eye. “It’s not your job to protect me. Dad was afraid of what would happen with Sam. He knew you would be the only one that could pull him back. We may still need to do that. It’s MY job to protect YOU. I’m sorry I got angry.” Ali nodded her head and Dean pulled her into a bone crushing hug. “Let’s go find our idiot brother.”

Then: Sam ran down the stairs as the pounding on his door got louder.

“Jesus...I’m coming, calm down.” He whipped the door open l, his irritation melting as he saw the tears pouring down his sister’s face. “Ali...what the hell happened, are you okay?” 

“Dad....he found out.” Sam pulled her into his house shutting the door behind her. He sat her down on the couch and grabbed her a glass of water. It took about a half hour to calm her down before she could speak.

“How did he find out?”

“He and Dean finished the hunt early and walked in on us kissing. He doesn’t understand. I think if it was one or the other maybe he wouldn’t have freaked.” Sam clenched his jaw.

“Ali, don’t make excuses for him. We’re in the 21st century. There isn’t anything wrong with being bisexual. Nothing. Do you hear me? All it means is that you love without bounds. You love someone for who they are, not what they are.” Ali rested her head on Sam’s shoulder.

“I wish you had never left. But I know you had to. I didn’t think I could leave. But now I don’t know if I can go back.” 

“What did Dean say?” 

“He tried to stop Dad from freaking out. But you know how he is with Dad. But he made sure I could get here safe. I should actually call him and let him know I’m okay.” 

“He should have driven you here himself.”

“Sam, don’t. He’s doing the best he can. I won’t put him in the middle.”

“You gonna stay?” Sam was afraid to ask.

“For a while anyway. I miss you.” He smiled at her and led her upstairs to the spare bedroom. Jess was standing at the top of the stairs and hugged Ali when she got to the top. 

She stayed for a few weeks until John convinced her to come back. Sam followed her out to the car trying to convince her to stay.

“Sammy, he apologized. It took him by surprise and it was a rough hunt. I’m not made for the life you have here. I need to be on the road. I need to keep moving.”

“What are you running from Ali?” Sam watched her eyes fill with tears and she looked away for a moment to compose herself.

“Nothing, everything? Myself? I don’t know Sam. But I can’t stay here. I love you, more than anything. I miss you so much it physically hurts. But me staying here? I can’t. Be happy Sam. Be happy with Jess. You deserve to be happy.”

“So do you.”

“Will you settle for Happyish?”

“For now. Call me when you meet up with them. Call me before. Just...call me more often than you have been. Just because I left hunting doesn’t mean I left you. I know Dad is dad, but come see me more.” Ali wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed him tightly and he rested his chin on top of her head. “I promise Sammy.” And then she was gone.

Now:

The girl that had been in Sam’s hotel room was bugging Ali. She wasn’t quite who Sam was leading them to believe. She could feel it deep down, but she didn’t want to ask Sam in front of Dean and Bobby. Regardless of how pissed she was at him, she wouldn’t throw him under the bus. He had given up on saving Dean and was hunting Lilith, he didn’t even tell her. Ali felt a fire in her belly that hadn’t been there in a while. The anger pushed away the melancholy and it felt good. 

The anger was mixed with guilt over what happened with Pamela. Pam had found out the name of whatever it was that had rescued Dean. Castiel. It didn’t sound like the name of a demon. And why would a demon rescue Dean? The lot of them had been thrilled to hold another Winchester, especially after John’s escape. 

Ali listened quietly as Bobby and Dean went back and forth on whether or not they should tell Sam they were going to try and summon Castiel.

  “You’re awfully quiet back there, in fact you have been all day.” Bobby met her eyes in the rear view mirror.

“She’s stewing Bobby. She’s pissed at Sam and she’s heating it up. She’ll blow her top soon.” Ali gave him a dirty look.

“I’m with Dean. Leave Sam out of it.” Bobby shook his head and continued down the road.

Ali looked around the warehouse at all of the symbols Bobby had put up. She was ignoring Dean and Bobby’s banter when she felt the warehouse start to shake. She grabbed Dean’s arm to steady herself.

“Wishful thinking, but maybe it’s just the wind?” Dean’s comment made her crack a smile, which quickly faded when she saw what appeared to be a man in a suit and trench coat enter the warehouse. She saw Dean grab the demon knife out of the corner of her eye as he approached.

“Who are you?” Dean demanded.

“I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”  Ali raised her eyebrows. His voice had grit and was intimidating. Dean was standing half in front of Ali to protect her. While he came across as intimidating, she felt nothing but peace. Ali places her hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“Dean, it’s okay...” he either didn’t hear her or ignored her because he plunged the knife into his chest. Ali covered her mouth in shock as he pulled it out and dropped it to the floor and then stumbled back as Bobby attacked and before she knew what happened Castiel touched his fingers to Bobby’s forehead and he dropped to the ground. Castiel approached Ali and cocked his head to the side studying her.

“You are unexpected. I’m sorry but I need to speak with your brother alone.” He gently slid his hand onto her cheek and guided her to the ground as she slipped out of consciousness. Dean watched in confusion at how different he was towards his sister versus Bobby.

....“Dean...I think he’s telling the truth. I always get this feeling around demons. Intuition that they’re evil, I don’t know. But when he walked in, I just felt like we were going to be okay. I felt peace. And I mean...if he’ll exists, wouldn’t that mean heaven does too?” Dean scoffed.

“Don’t you think that if angels were real, that some hunter somewhere would have seen one...at some point...ever?”

“Yeah. You just did Dean.” Sam quipped back. 

Ali sat deep in thought as Bobby, Dean and Sam continued to go back and forth. She believe Castiel. Dean was stubborn but she knew he would accept it eventually. The fact that an Angel was walking among them meant something big was coming their way.

[siyeonjisoo]

So this year for my birthday, I took an adventure to the exotic state of Ohio – just for a concert where I could meet someone I have looked up to for over a decade on the actual day of my birthday.  And I guess hang out with some of my Ohio friends.

My friend @ali-kat211 was amazing enough to brave the cold and hang out with my outside the venue all day from like 12:30 until we finally went inside.  Just so I could be the first person to meet Amber.  Thank you for hanging out with me and making this so much fun <3

We were joined by the street team after a while and they called us the real MVPs since we technically even beat them as well as most of the artists.

We sat down and were just chatting and making friends in line when LB (Amber’s support drummer) came out the door and we were sitting in front of and made us all scramble and scream.  This happened so many times, and I think LB was doing it on purpose after the 3rd or 4th time he came out.

We were across the street from the Ohio State Student Union building (I didn’t actually know American universities would have those. I thought that was something the UK made up lol) and would wander over there whenever we needed to use the bathroom or to warm up for a few minutes.  The first time we went over, though, WE RAN INTO JUSTIN.  I saw him walking toward us and I did a double take and then said “Hi, Justin” while all of the folks I was with just thought I was saying hi to someone I knew at first before they also did a double take and recognized us.  He chatted with us for a few seconds and told us to stay warm before he walked inside the back entrance to the venue to eat his lunch.

We got back in line and screamed about it to everyone else but most of us were here for Amber, not Justin or Meg&Dia, so it wasn’t super exciting second-hand.

Time continues to pass and then we get let in for the Meet and Greet maybe like 15 minutes late so around 5:30.  Two of my friends I was with didn’t have M&G so I told them that if they gave me cash, I would get some merch signed by Amber for them so I bought my merch and then stood there trying not to puke before meeting Amber.

We got let into the main area where they were gonna do the event and Justin was just wandering around and we all were just casually chatting with him.  I told him about the group chat we have him added to from the Gone Rogue tour as well as after the NYC stop of this tour and he was really happy to know that we had a good friend group based off of our experiences at his shows.

Amber comes out and walks past us with Leo and, before I even say hi to Amber, I start chatting with Leo.  (Leo is one of the amazingly talented dancers on this tour along with Dom) I told him that me and my friends from the NYC show wanted to know if we could adopt him.  He agreed so everyone stay away from my son Leo, if you hurt him you will die.

And then.  It was time to meet Amber.  I thought they were gonna set up the table and figure things out and I would have to watch them for a few minutes but nope! She called me down right away and was like “come on down, give me a hug!  We’re gonna take a minute to set this up but come and chat” kinda vibes and I almost tripped over my own two feet when she came to collect me from the stairs I was waiting on.  I told her I was from the NYC show and that I made the nickname CuddlePuddle and she was soo happy to hear that.  Her smile kind of blinded me.  She then looked kinda confused about why I was here in Ohio so I explained I came from New Jersey but came all the way to Ohio because this show, on the 13th, was on my birthday and it was my wish to see her and to meet her on my birthday.  I was then the only person she sang happy birthday to out of the whole M&G and it made me feel really special.  She signed the stuff I bought and then we took some pictures and I am never posting one of them because I was too busy laughing (but also worrying about Amber falling over) and feel like I look a lil silly but the other pictures came out awesome.

I walked shakily off to the other side of the theater and just. Collapsed.  Because this was already amazing and I couldn’t imagine things getting much better from here.

We all just stood around waiting for the rest of the M&G to end and were packed in like sardines (with no one wanting to move back but then completely fucking up the line order because folks were just stopping at the front of the crowd that were at the back of the line and I wasn’t having it and I got a lil snappy with folks in order to protect my spot).  Justin was still just wandering around and chatting. He came over and gave me a handshake because I asked him for one as my birthday gift.  He then told us to go and buy some of his merch and then we can attend his M&G after the show so we went running off to buy that since we still had time before the show was gonna start.

Meet and Greet finally ends and Amber waves good bye to us and then we all go running off to get our spots.  I MANAGE TO BE FRONT AND CENTER ON THE BARRICADE.  Literally dead center as marked on the stage.  We all settle in and everyone else gets let in. This is prolly around 7 by now I think.

LB comes out and sits down on the edge of the stage and starts chatting with us.  I told him I came from New Jersey and was actually at the birthday show.  I told him he is birthday twins-ish with my friend and that he gave her his drum stick after that concert since the NYC concert on 2/7 was actually her birthday.  He said he remembered her and that he needed to think of something to do for me.  My friends next to me and I were all hungry too and he was sitting there and pulled out food.  So LB legit gives me and one other person the first 2 bites of his food before he starts eating it himself.  He learns that we have been there since 12:30 and haven’t really eaten much of anything so he decides he’s gonna go off to the back of the venue to the pizza stand and BUYS US A WHOLE FUCKING PEPPERONI PIZZA that we share with the whole crowd, ripping pieces in half and passing them around.  It was actually some of the best pizza I have had in a really long time.  We all decide that he has adopted us and is now a father of five.  Ben comes out and is like “Yo, Justin is waiting for you to move so he can get his set started” so LB scrambles away and like 2 seconds later, the concert starts.

Justin is usual sexy fuckboi self.  I know I should but I can’t help loving that man.  He grabbed my hand and serenaded me and I have never been a more heterosexual human being in my life than those 3 seconds.  I also handed him the second half of my pizza and I think he actually took it off stage and may have eaten it after and I love him.

Meg&Dia come out and they are sooo cute.  Grant is a wonderful drummer and Carlo is super handsome.  I’m sad they didn’t do the acoustic version of Koala like they did in NYC because that was almost hauntingly good but that’s the only thing I think I would have changed about this whole day.

Then it is time.  The moment of truth (pt2).  Amber. I am right in front of her.  The stage is less than an arm’s width away from me and Amber comes pretty close to the edge of it a few times.  I actually got scared at one point when Amber, Leo, and Dom stormed the edge of the stage and kicked out that I was gonna get kicked in the face and flinched and Amber saw and laughed at me a little bit.

I helped remind Amber to drink water and stay hydrated throughout.

When introducing the whole naming of the crowds thing she went through the recent nicknames and THEN POINTED TO ME AND SAID “This girl is the person who came up with the nickname for NYC, she made Cuddle Puddle” AND I TURNED AROUND AND WAVED AT EVERYONE AND GOT APPLAUSE.

I nagged Amber again for eating CDs and she apologized lol

DJ is just super chill and funny.  One point he was clapping along with one of the songs and I copied him and he saw me and pointed at me with a smile.  I think that’s what earned me something that happened later.

After the third song, Get Myself, Amber grabbed my hand and sang to me.  I, feeling a little overwhelmed, looked at my hand and screamed a little bit.  Justin, the lil shit, was sitting in front of the barricade and watching it and so Amber went over to him and did the same hand hold to him.  Justin, I kid you not, looked at me and then FUCKING COPIED ME IN A VERY EXAGGERATED MANNER and I died laughing. After that song, I took literally the best picture I have ever taken in my LIFE

A lot of people started crying during Numb and Amber gave a person behind me her towel because we couldn’t find any tissues. That song almost got me but it was the next song, Borders, that had me literally dry sobbing because I didn’t have the hydration levels to be able to produce tears.

Amber, apparently, learned about LB adopting us and mentioned it and we all waved and said “hi, Dad” and LB waved back at us and I have not felt more proud of a father figure in my life.

Main set ends and everyone goes off stage for a few minutes and some people seemed to think it was legit over and were really happy to learn that there was still some more.

Frozen happens and it is terrifying chaos BUT DAMN CAN AMBER SING.  I feel like she sings that song better than most people who try to do covers of it.

And then POKEMON TIME.  It is the most impossible chaos for them to not be crashing into each other the whole time.

Carlo came out dressed as the Snorlax and just flops down on the stage and looked legit terrified someone was gonna run over him at a couple of moments but there were no accidents.

And then it was over.  We took a picture all together.  The instrumental for Other People was playing while we got situated for that and Amber looked really sappily happy but also kinda embarrassed that we were singing her song to her.

LB gives me his drum stick and wished me a happy birthday again before leaving the stage

DJ comes up with a sheet of paper that we all know is the setlist and people’s hands come flying up and I get crushed against the barricade since everyone behind me pushes up to get it.  He folds it lightly and bats their hands away with it to make sure he GIVES IT TO ME.

We all make our way to the bar and get some water because we are all dying from screaming and singing for 2 hours before we make our way to the line for Justin’s Meet and Greet.  The man is just chatting with folks and taking his time and the venue staff is like “c’mon man, we gotta go” and hurrying him along.  And I think they had a flight to catch so they couldn’t linger, either, since they had a concert in Atlanta the next day.  DJ comes running through the line to take a video and literally trips coming up the stairs.  He showed us after because we were at the end of the line and he needed to show it to someone to laugh off the embarrassment lol.  He edited it out before uploading it to Justin’s Instagram, poor soul.

Justin takes a picture with me eventually and I told him “thanks for making it worth coming all the way from Jersey” and he said something to the effect of you’re welcome and I’ll try to come back soon or whatever and then it is time for the trip back outside to the cold.

So this was the most amazingly wonderful concert experience I think I have ever had. In. My. Life.  And definitely one of the most memorable birthday experiences I think I have ever had. In. my. Life.  Thank you to everyone who was part of it.  I’m writing this 2 days later while I sit in the airport, waiting to fly home and wake up from this wonderful dream.  I’m gonna get home and just cry because the post-concert depression still hasn’t set in because I’m still not sure any of it was even real.  Being back home is going to make it all settle in, I think.

[i-writeandread-blog]

Wonderland - Chapter 10

Authors Note- sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. It’s most likely not that great either, but I’m writing and I’m happy about that. If you want to be tagged let me know, thanks!

Staying at Jared's house isn't that bad. Everyday he wakes me up with breakfast in bed, every night he kisses my forehead before closing his eyes. He thinks I'm asleep when he crawls into bed usually sometime after midnight, but I am not. I don't let him think otherwise because I like this nightly routine. It shows me his respect for me. He hasn't pressured me once for sex in the two weeks I have been here.

Jared had hired a home nurse to come in and basically keep me company. I could do everything on my own. It only took three or so days to gain enough strength to start walking around. Once I did I really didn't need anyone to help me. I was fine to go home the other day, but Jared hadn't really been around for me to explain to him my intentions. After everything he has done, I didn't want to just disappear on him.

He has been so busy with the album and then he had some engagements come up that he had agreed to prior to meeting me, that he couldn't get out of. Not to mention they released the dates for a European tour in the spring to coincide with the album release. It was no doubt a very busy time for him and the band. He didn't bring up his work with me and I didn't ask questions. We hardly ever saw each other so there really hadn't been any conversations.

~~~~~~~

It is day 16 at Jared's house. I am feeling way too cooped up. I want to get out of this house, I want to take a drive.  As luck would have it, and I mean bad luck... the excuse to get up and go comes in the form of a phone call.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Yes I am sitting." The person on the other end is my old friend Darlene.

"Yes, Dar, I swear I am sitting. What is going on?" I ask thinking this is a joke.

"You have got to be kidding me?"

"No, no, you're lying. Shut the fuck up. You're fucking lying." I scream at the top of my lungs.

Jared runs in and finds me doubled over the bed half screaming and half crying. 

"Ali, what's wrong? What hurts?"

"He's... uhh... gone. He... is... dead." I say through sobs.

"Who Alice? Who is dead?"

"Nicky"

"I don't understand. Who is Nicky?"

"Nicky, my best friend's boyfriend. My friend. He is gone. I've got to go. I need to go home. They airlifted Gemma to Duke, she may not make it."

"I'm coming with you!" Jared says without hesitation.

"No, you have too much going on.  I can do this alone.  I appreciate all you've done."

"Ali, I want to be with you. Just let me clear my schedule and we will fly out first thing tomorrow morning."

"No, Jared. I have got to go now.  If Gemma doesn't make it, I'd never forgive myself for not being there."

Jared left the room without saying anything and I can't tell if it is because I refuse to let him rearrange his life for me.  I start grabbing the few odds and ends I have lying around his room so I can leave LA as soon as humanly possible.

Jared walks back in quietly and comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.  This startles me.

"Shhh shhh, it's just me. Everything is going to be okay.  I've went ahead and booked a flight for you.  It leaves in 3 hours.  It was the only one available this short notice."

"Jared, you didn't have..."

"I wanted to.  I'm gonna fly out tomorrow, I promise.  I'm gonna be with you every step of the way, and that's final."

"Thank you."

"It's my pleasure.  Ali, you've wormed your way in to this ice cold heart of mine.  Don't you know you have me wrapped around your finger?"

"Yeah whatever Leto."  I roll my eyes.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?"

"Maybe."  I say coyly.

Jared pulls me backwards and we both tumble onto the bed.  He rolls over facing me, leaning in so that his lips find mine.  This kiss was sweet and gentle, yet had anger and desperation in it.  I got lost in it.  My hands fisting his hair.  His beard scratching my face.  I needed air.  He tends to take my breath away even in the small glances he occasionally gives me.  He thinks he is wrapped around my finger but it really is the other way around. 

As soon as I break the kiss, reality sets in.  For one small iota of a moment I had forgotten what was going on.  He is a distraction and I wouldn't normally mind, but I have a flight to catch.

"Jared, I gotta get to the airport."

"We have time."

"No, I can't get sidetracked right now.  Please don't be mad.  I'll make it up to you."

I stand up, walk to the door, turn around and blow him a kiss.  He smiles as I leave him for the first time in what feels like a long time.  I tell myself that this is actually a good thing.  The heart grows fonder when you're apart.

The drive to the airport from Jared's seems longer than it should and I am sure it is because I don't know what kind of hell awaits me in North Carolina.  I cringe at the thought just as I am pulling into the long term parking at LAX.  I don't know how long I will be gone but the shorter the stay the better.  I'll be there as long as Gemma needs me.  She'd do the same for me, if ever I was in her shoes.

I am grateful that the doctor had prescribed pain medication when I left the hospital.  Up until now I hadn't used any, but the only way I am getting any sleep on this plane tonight is if I am medicated.

                         ———————————

It feels odd that Ali isn't in my bed tonight. I am already packed and I was able to get any meetings or engagements put on the back burner with the help of Emma and Shayla. Everything is working out in one way or another, but I can't seem to fall asleep.

Every part of me says I should be here working and not getting too involved with a woman right now. I have so much going on and this has really complicated things. I don't have many people I can count as friends in my life, but I know I can always call on Shannon. There isn't anything we wouldn't do for each other. I call his number and he answers within two rings.

"... Shan, I just don't know what to do here. I was thinking about how crazy I'd be if anything ever happened to you. So I get it, this is her best friend. If she loves Gemma as much as I love you, then I would need someone good and pure to help me through the tough shit."

"Yeah but Jay, you aren't good and pure."

"You know what I mean. I know I shouldn't get too attached, but..."

"Okay, so my advice to you is to consider all angles here. So far, you've managed to keep working even while she was getting better at the house. As much of a distraction that she is, she really hasn't been that disruptive."

"True."

"But, Jay, we all function on our drugs of choice. Me, it's always been alcohol and drugs. You on the other hand, it's been work and chicks. Can you sacrifice either of those things?"

"You quit using."

"Yeah, but you saw how hard that fight was..."

Shannon was right. I was managing fine with work, and I hadn't had any of my previous temptations show up unannounced. But what if work suffered because of Ali? What if I keep falling for her and I can't be faithful? I don't want to hurt her.

Ali and I haven't made any agreements about being exclusive, but I respect her and she deserves someone who can only be with her. I know I want to give her that but I am not sure I can be trusted. I need to put myself in the line of fire, I need to be tested.

As soon as I think about that, I remember how reluctant Alice was to be with me after my little white lie.  She had made reference to being hurt before.  If you think about it, we all have, but something tells me her hurt is more than just the run of the mill break up.  There was a pain in her eyes when she opened up and told me she couldn't trust me. I'd have to find out sooner or later what exactly had happened.

"Okay Shannon, I'll weigh the pros and cons, but if I'm being honest here, I at least want to try. You said mom wants us to be better men. I do want to be a better man. I've been thinking a lot about settling down. Maybe Ali came right at the perfect time... anyway I'm gonna try to get some sleep." We say our goodbyes and disconnect the call.

I lay in bed tossing and turning, wondering how I could prove to myself that I could be faithful. How I could put myself in the line of fire being around hundreds of girls all throwing themselves at me and turning each and every one of them down. This would be hard for me as it's been over fifteen years since I was in a committed relationship and that relationship ended because of infidelity.

I believe in the idea of soulmates. I like the sound of it. And it's true Ali is me in female form. We laugh at the same things, we do the same silly things when we think no one is looking. We both like attention, me more than her. We both are creative. There's so many similarities and very few things that make us different. She probably is my soulmate. I smile at the thought of that.

~~~~~~

I wake up and blink my eyes a few times.  Sometime in the night I must have fallen asleep.  I'm grateful because I have a long flight ahead of me and I won't be able to sleep on the plane.  I take a quick shower and eat a banana for breakfast.  The lab became alive sometime around my last gulp of juice.  I wash my glass and step into the office to bid everyone a farewell.

Everyone looks at me incredulously as I've got very neutral clothing on topped off with a black hoodie and sunglasses.  It's imperative that I am as incognito as possible.  I am in no mood to deal with any paparazzi today. 

I make it to the airport with minutes to spare and board the flight.  As soon as I can, I take my laptop out and work on more lyrics.

"Started a stranger, a love endangered

The edge of a night

The face of an angel, the heart of a ghost

Was it a dream?"

I had started the song as a love letter to America, but I can't help but feel it's also a love letter to Alice too.  The lyrics I just wrote are definitely to her.  I can't wait to sing it to her the first chance I get.  I write as much down as I can and close the computer when the flight crew tells us we are approaching our descent.

Before I know it the plane has landed and I'm headed to the hospital in a hired car.  Once there I send a text to Ali asking if she's at the hospital.  She confirms that she is in the operating room waiting area and that she hasn't been able to see Gemma yet.

I walk in to the waiting room where there are a few people sitting around talking.  I take notice of Ali looking at her phone, no doubt waiting for my reply.  I clear my throat and all eyes are on me.  The only ones that matter are her bright blue ones.  She stands up and runs into my waiting arms.

@branded-with-a-j @burritoverload @llfd1977 @nikkitasevoli @msroxyblog @lolainblue @snewsome756 @lady-grinning-soul-k @letojokerownsme

[laughinglistener]

114 Thoughts I Had While Reading ACOT&R

I’m late to the book party. Again. And after getting inspired by the million random numbered lists on Buzzfeed, I thought I’d entertain all the ACOTAR fans out there with a list of my own. 

Spoilers ahead people!

1. Good lord. Six minutes in and I. AM. CAPTIVATED. And she’s just describing snow?? WHAT IS THIS MAGIC?? 2. Oh my god. Thirty minutes in. Times like these I appreciate being an only child. All that fur and meat would be MINE. 3. “You can’t chop wood for us, but you want to marry a woodcutter's son??” HA!! YEAH!!! 4. Jeez, she paints too. I already love Feyre. #BadAssFemales 5. Ugh, does Feyre ever dump these sisters? Please say yes. I can’t stand them. 6. OH SHIT STICKS. He just busted in there like the Kool-Aid man.

7. Stop shouting “MURDERERS” wolf boy and use your words. WHAT IS HAPPENING. 8. YES. SHE’S GETTING AWAY FROM THE EVIL SISTERS!! I should NOT be this excited about Feyre getting kidnapped. 9. She kills this guy’s friend and her punishment is living in his crazy opulent mansion?? All right, good to know. Taking notes for a friend...  10. Did… Did wolf boy just turn into Adam from Beauty and the Beast????

11. This Lucien fellow is a sassy ginger and I don’t hate it.  12. Your hair is clean?? Is that flirting????  13. She made a rope trap! This girl is my hero. 14. Hearing that the evil disembodied voice is named “The Bogge” just makes me think of The Bog of Eternal Stench in Labyrinth. “LOOK AT MEEEEE” *Farts*

15. Her father is there?!? Oh god…  16. Ohhhhhh no, it’s a trap. Ohhhhhhh god. Ohhhhhhhhh jeez…  17. I KNEW IT. 18. The image I’m getting in my head of Tamlin is a strange mixture of Wolverine and Beast from the Disney movie. I’m very confusingly into it. 19. Homegirl is just walking around, casually asking how to trap fairy demon creatures. LOVE IT. 20. What is even happening?! She just casually trapped a fairy thing and gave it an interview! THIS BOOK IS AMAZING. OMFG. 21. “Dead chickens, my sagging ass. All you needed to do was offer it a new robe, and it would have groveled at your feet.” OFFICIALLY love Alis 22. Is it just me, or is the whole Tamlin’s-a-high-lord thing not that shocking of a revelation???? 23. “Is this a poem about murdering me and then burning my body?” LOL. I would very much like to hear that poem. 24. Ahhhhh this poor fairy without wings!!! JUST RIP MY HEART OUT. 25. Are you kidding me?!? IF ADAM FROM BEAUTY AND THE BEAST ASKS YOU TO SWIM IN A POOL OF FREAKING STARLIGHT, YOU DO IT!!!!!

26. OF COURSE the sassy ginger is a son to the Autumn court. #Fitting 27. Ahhhh he’s kissing her palm!!!!!! *Holds breath* 28. OH MY GOD, HE LEGIT WROTE POEMS WITH THE WORDS. I’M DYINGGGG!!!!!!  29. Ohhhhhhh god. Oh no. She’s going to the bonfires. Ohhhhhhhhhh lord.... Not good. 30. Ohhhh shiiiiiiiit!!!! The most beautiful man she’s ever seen! That’s always a promising statement in YA books. 31. No idea who the hell this cocky bastard is, but... I LIKE HIM. 32. Wtf??? 

“It will fill him with his sole purpose: to find the Maiden. From their coupling, magic will be released and spread to the earth, where it will regenerate life for the year to come.” 

Ummmmm... I repeat: Wtf????? 33. Hot DAYUM!! High Lord, you are DOING things to me with this little hallway biting display!!

34. SHE’S WEARING A DRESS!!! Ahhhh I’m having such a girl moment! 35. *Sobs* Oh my god, he took her winter painting and it was SO CUTE. MY HEART. IT’S MELTINGGGGGG!!! 36. Feyre acting all outraged at the suggestion of a kiss payment like she hasn’t been wanting it FOR AGES. Gurl, if you don’t kiss him I will. 37. Oh my god, there have been hordes of people around the whole time and she couldn’t see them?!? Ewwwww creepy...... 38. Ahahahaha my gurl is WASTED and it’s amazing. Drunk Feyre is the best! Where can I get me some of that fairy wine?? 39. I CANNOT TAKE THE ADORABLENESS OF THIS DAMN DANCING AND SUNRISE SCENE. *Explodes*

40. This morning after at the breakfast table! SWOON. 41. Whoa, wtf?? We were all so happy two seconds ago. 42. Hmmmmm... I get the feeling this Rhys guy isn’t as douchebaggy as he seems. Partly because I’ve seen too much fanart of him on the internet for Rhys to be a complete asshole. 43. Ohhhhhh crap. 44. Feyre doesn’t know what?! EXPLAIN YOURSELVES. WHAT’S. GOING. ON. 45. Whoa whoa whooooooa!! I take it back, this guy’s an asshat! Back off man!!! He’s stroking HER BRAIN. OMG. 46. Jeeeez did this lunch take a tailspin. Zero to death threats in sixty seconds flat... That should be a coffee mug. 47. Aaaaaaaand Tamlin is tearing up the dining room. Now I’m thinking of Beauty and the Beast again. He’s going all forbidden-west-wing on them. “GET OUUUUTTTTTTT!!!” 48. Ahhhhhh AND THIS is the part where Belle goes home and then has to go back to save Beast from Gaston right?? *Starts singing* “But we’re not coming home ‘till he’s dead! GOOD AND DEAD. KILL THE BEAST!”

49. It is REALLY pissing me off that no one is telling her what’s going on. Even if Feyre is going back home, you can explain what’s going on to help ease the burden!! To better protect herself!!! URGH. 50. Hot DAYUM that love scene!! *Desperately tries to collect self* 51. Awwww he said he loves her! *sobs* 52. I love Lucien. If he turns out to be a bad guy, I’m gonna be pissed. 53. Ewww this is weird. Helloooooooo terrible sisters… 54. Oh my god, Tamlin’s just over here making it rain on Feyre’s entire family. Good lord. 55. She’s giving the money away! YAYY!! I LOVE HER!!! 56. Ohhhhh shit. Poor Nesta. That actually really freaking sucks. 57. Awwww crap, I like her now. I can’t hate Nesta after this. And Elain is a sweetie. DAMN. 58. Wow. I just went from hating to loving Nesta so fast, I have whiplash. 59. Ohhhh crap!! She killed Clare! Bad day. 60. HOW CAN I LOVE NESTA THIS MUCH AFTER HATING HER?!?! 61. YASSSSSS QUEEN!! Ride and go get yo man! YASSSS!!!

62. Holy crap, this Amarantha is one sneaky bitch. Just casually drugging up everyone’s wine to steal all their powers. I am very stressed about meeting her. Very stressed.  63. SHE CARVED OUT HIS EYE WITH HER FINGERNAIL?!?!?!?! Not my Lucien!! 64. What?!?! WHAT?! Andras was out there as a set up to cure the curse?!? WHAT?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW??? I. AM. DYING. OH. MY. FREAKING. GOD.  65. Words cannot describe my absolute love and obsession with Feyre. LIKE SERIOUSLY. 66. Ohhhhh I am very stressed. She’s gonna get busted sneaking around these tunnel caves for sure. 67. Annnnnnnnnnnd there it is. 68. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god… 69. A bargain?!?! No no no no no no no.... 70. THIS ENTIRE THING IS KILLING ME. I AM DEAD. RIP ME. 71. Well. This should be fun to watch. 72. Not gonna lie, the finger eyeball ring is preeeeetty freaking bad ass. Just sayin. *Immediately searches Etsy* 73. Rhysand lied? Lied about which girl he saw in Tamlin’s dining room?? Interesting… 74. NO! LEAVE MY LUCIEN ALONE!! UGGGGGGH. 75. Ummm love?? Is the answer of the riddle love? HELLO. 76. “I took the liberty of learning a few things about you.” Ummmmmm, what the actual hell does that mean??? 77. IT’S A WORM?!?!?!?!? 

78. Come on gurl. KICK ASS!!!! 79. YASSSSS!!! OMG I’M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW. KILL THE WORM!! *Crazily starts chanting* 80. Rhysand... hmmm... He intrigues me… 81. YEAH!! YES!! SHE DID IT!! OMFG YESS!!!!! 82. Let me guess. Rhysand was the one that bet she would win?? 83. Hahahaha wtf?! 

“For two weeks every month, two weeks of my choosing, you’ll live with me at the Night Court. Starting after this messy three-trials business.” 

Messy three-trials business?!? LOL! Oh my god, I’m back to loving this guy. 84. Tattoo! NICE!! 85. Huh. So the lady of the Autumn court isn’t a complete bitch. Good to know. 86. Why do I love this guy?! Rhys is a turd ball, but I can’t seem to help myself. 87. He has bat wings?!? That’s AWESOME. 88. My belongings?!?! Awwww HELL naw!! I take it back again. SCREW THIS GUY. 89. He gets her drunk and makes her dance?!? WHAT. THE. HELL. NOT MY GURL FEYRE. HELL NO.

90. NOOOOOO!!! Not Lucien!! Oh god! I don’t want to see him impaled. *Bites nails nervously* 91. Ohhhh no!! Poor Feyre! THIS SUCKS!!! 92. SHUT UP LUCIEN!! SHE’LL HAPPILY CHOOSE A LEVER WHEN YOU STOP YELLING AT HER!!! 93. Ugh, that was horrid. 94. Omg Tamlin!! They’re about to get it on in the medieval version of a broom closet.  95. Rhys the cockblocker. 96. Tamlin, just chill the hell out. Rhys was covering for your dumb ass. 97. “One wrong move tomorrow, Feyre, and we’re all doomed.” Oh, great freaking pep talk Rhys!! What a motivator! No pressure or anything. 98. Oh my god, they’re giving her the Hunger Games finger salute!

99. Ugh, poor Feyre. 100. THIS SCENE IS AGONY!!! 101. Uh oh. Amarantha has something else up her sleeve. I am STRESSED Y’ALL. 102. WHAT?!? IT’S TAMLIN????? WHAT?!?!?!? 103. Well hell, I’m confused now. 104. He has a heart of stone?? That sounds... heavy. 105. “‘I love you,’ I said, and stabbed him.” BEST CHAPTER ENDING I’VE EVER READ. 106. Ohhhhh SHIT Amarantha’s pissed! This hissy fit is right out of Housewives of Prythian!! 107. Ahhhh Rhys!! 108. IT WAS LOVE! HA HA!!! I KNEW IT!!!!! I CALLED IT FROM THE START!! HUMAN IGNORANCE MY ASS!! What do I win?! Do I get my own fairy high lord for solving the riddle?? That’s how this works right??? 109. Wait, is Feyre dead?? Is she a ghost now? This out of body ghost thing is all very Hamlet. 110. Whoa, Tamlin stabbed her IN THE HEAD. Effective. 111. Yay! Happy endings!! “But they can never take OUR FREEEEDOMMMMMMM!!!!”

112. Awww Rhysand!! 113. Wait, what? What the hell was that?? Rhysand doesn’t STUMBLE. 114. Book one complete! BOOK TWO. ME NEED NOW. AHHHHHHH!!!! *Froths at the mouth*

[hellomynudebrain]

Paths(Juminxreader) Part#17

After you argued , you closed the door of your room and promised yourself never speak to him again, but you never thought even once what was the real reason you were so mad with him. if it was because  he brang Jihyun's memories back to you and insulted you or because he denided any kind of feeling he would have for you.

Several days have already passed. 

Jumin and you only saw each other in the morning and before sleep, but none of you speak to each other.  He tried to say good bye to you but you only *humb* and went away. After that you were feeling kinda of guilty about all that adn decided to cook for him adn surprised him, but he ignored you and end eat all the food and with stomachache. 

After those failing atempts to patch things, the mood between both of you began to became weirder and weirder and the distance you both managed to close, now was even wider. And even Jumin and you began to look lame, because both of you used their cats as a sustitute to talk. Suddenly, Salem became Jumin and Elizabeth the 3th became you. And both of you talked with the cats as if you were having a real conversation with that person who was really in other room. The days passed and you continued with that lame behavior, until a fatal day.  You went back to the penhouse after you had a rough day at work. The idea was to lock you up on your room and do the lame routine, but when you open the door from the penthouse, You saw something horrible.  Salem was on the floor with blood on his belly. You were shocked but you took you jacket that you used that day and carry him and took him to a vet. But even if you were living with Jumin, you didn't know very well the neighborhood. But you were so desesperate that you ran with salem in your arms cover with your jacket from the penhouse.  You were in such a hurry that you didn't notice that it was raining and couldn't find a vet near. Salem meow was weak and began to feel cold over the jacket, the blood began to stain all your jacket. You were about to cry, but then a light let you blind. It was Jumin's limo. He park on the corner of the street, got down his window and yelled. 

"What are you doing here?! It's raining, dummy!"

You felt relieve seeing him yelled at you so much that you tears stoped for a minute, but they ended up got out when you began to speak.

"Jumin! Salem is hurt. I need a vet, help him, please!"

Jumin didn't hesitage and let you in the limo. You were wet, with puffy eyes and cover with blood, but even so he hugged you. 

"Everything is going to be fine. Let me take care of it. Driver Kim! To the Sunshine vet!”

He hugged you all the way to the vet and helped to stop the hemorrhage from Salem, he even stained all her suit with blood too.  Inmediatly, he carried Salem and run to the entrance. It was really late, but he knocked and yelled really hard.

"YOOSUNG,OPEN THE DOOR!"

Then the lights that were all off, turned on and a blond guy with red glasses opened the door. 

"Jumin! What a surprise! What happened?" 

"Yoosung I need you to help him, please!" 

The blond guy took Salem in his arms and yelled to one of the nurses on the vet. 

"I need you to arrange the quirofan!" 

"But doctor, weren't you going home?" 

" I can talk with my girlfriend later, NOW GO!" 

"Yes, sir" 

You see all the doctor and nurses move all over the place.

"Mr. Han and Miss Han. Here... Towels... Just take a seat o the waiting room" 

"Thank you, I'll take my wife and wait"

In another situation, you could answer back, but after that and the hard day on work, you follow him to the waiting room.  You were the only ones there. The tik tok fron the clock was the only one making some kind of noise. This time, the atmosphere wasn't tense or awkard, it was depressing. Jumin try to talk with you many times, but you weren't listen in. You were scared and trembling. You didn't want to lose Salem. It was the only conection with Jihyun. If you lose Salem, you lose Jihyun. On your insides, you prayed to god maybe he would had listened, maybe he wouldn't had. Meanwhile you were out form reality, Jumin again noticed how you were feeling. So he took you in his arms and hugged you. You felt so confortable that you fell asleep so deeply that you couldn’t hear his voice anymore, and it was good for him because all his feelings got out from him at that moment. 

" I'm sorry, my love. The truth is that I love you. When I went back and see the penhouse a mess and I didn't find you or Salem... I thougth you maybe left me... I took the limo and saw you in the street all wet, worried and with so much blood that...again... I thougth the worst scenario...but now I know you are here with me"

An hour and a half passed. You were so asleep and Jumin without noticed, he was carresing your head, it looked like nothing could get you out from the deep sleep, but suddenly the door from the waiting room opened, but it wasn't Yoosung. It was a petite, brunnette with brown skin. The sound made from the door was so  loud tat made you fliched.

" Helloooo, Jumin and his misstres!"

"Ali don't call her like that...and why are you here?"

"I came to picked Yoosung since he couldn't go home and get worried....By the way, the cat in the surgery room is yours?"

"...Yes, why?"

"Don't worry everything is gonna be ok, even if he doesn't  make it, it's gonna be ok" "...excuse me?! My cat is gonna be ok and you're talking about your boyfriend skills, don't you trust him?"

"Oh, I do trust him and know he is really good at his job, but sometimes life only sucks, but that doesn't mean you have to stock on the past"

"Ali...! "

"You are talikng about my precious cat, he is being with me since....two years ago"

You wanted to say that Salem was being with you since Jihyun and you started to dated, but you felt like name him it wasn't a good idea, but you didn't know why.

"...mmm...For what I read from Salem's archive, he isn't a young cat"

"...no, he is..not"

"Ajam...then don't you think it's time to let him go?”

"Ali!"

"Jumin...I'm talking with her, not you...so....Ahem...look, sometimes Yoosung told me that I'm rude to people because I'm to sincere, but I mean what I'm saying....When he and I started to date, on our third date my hamster died. Sugarfluff was with me over 4 years, I was sad but he told me that maybe it was its time to leave and I gave it my best to take care of it and it was a signal from it to give love to some other animal....I wouldn't undertand what he said at that moment ,but he hugged me and told me that maybe one day I would undestand...and I did, now we have a Lisa and she is the most precious pet that I have with him..."

"But..."

"Look, the pain is going to be there for a while, but Salem wants you to move on and love another pet on the way....maybe is a signal from the god of pets to help you move on"

All Ali said made your head spined around and made you conffussed, but she was right because after a few minutes apart since she came to waiting room, Yoosung entered with sad eyes. 

"...Sorry, Jumin. I did what I could but...I couldn't make it... Salem died"

The news stabed your heart once again, the last conection with Jihyun was lost, you were lost.  You couldn't stand up, but Jumin hold you and hugged you while you were crying. 

Finally when you could calm down, Yoosung came with another cup of  hot chocolate that Ali brought. 

"Here..take it. It might help you to feel better"

" *sniff*...Thank you..."

" I heard from Jumin all that Ali said to you....She's not bad, but sometimes she tends to go overboard and hurt people on the process without notice..."

"Don't apologize, she was right, it's hard to broke a bond with a pet...or a person. They sometimes are really significative for your life, but it's hard....but I don't want to break that bond...I'm refusing..."

" I get you, that's why I only want to help you to feel better, only standing by your side as a good friend"

"...What do you mean?"

"Ali told you about the third date talk, right?"

"..yes, she did"

"Well...before I met her...someone that I admired...changed and never came back to be herself again...I was sad and cry so many times...but then after a few weeks since then... I met Ali. She came from the robotic  department to  the vet deparment because they needed us to work together for a proyect....you may not belive it, but i fell in love at first sight when  I saw her. That day like a train  the love and truth hit me...It was my time to move on and I did...and now I finished my major...I got a work really fast when I finished and I have a grilfriend who I'm proud...maybe this is your signal to move on" 

"Yeah, maybe it is....but just for today I want to torn everything apart, make a tantrum and feel miserable because I lost a friend...just today"

"Yes, but at least you have a cup of cocoa"

"hahaha...I know the reason Ali fell for you...You're a sweet guy"

"...hehehe...You're making me blush...hehehe...same as you. I know why Jumin fell for you...you are really honest"

After that, you kept silence with Jumin jacket on your back, a cup of delicous cocoa and a sweet guy next to you. You cried but the pain was less hurtful. The next day, Jumin got up and he was ready to take breakfast and  go to work, but  you deciced to repayed  him. So you got up  earlier and cooked the breakfast and a luch box nad everything was already set on the table. 

"Good morning!..."

"Good mor...ning"

"...amh...I made you the breakfast. I asked the chef what you usually eat in the morning and cooked it...Ah! and I cooked a lunch box too."

".Thank you..."

"...You know, you help me with Salem and...I wasn't fair with you...you told me everything and...I didn't told you everything...*sniff*...I'm sorry...that's why ...just give me a few days...and talk about it, please *sobbing*"

Jumin saw you sobbing and broke, this time he didn't stand only wantching you...he rushed to you and hugged you.

"It's fine"

"No, it's not"

"No, it isn't, but soon it will be"

The following days, you were sad, but after a quite day of work, you began to undertand for real the words from Ali and Yoosung. This time was your oportunity to move on for real. You didn't get anything from Jumin and you really got obsessed and hurted Jumin and yourself in the process. Yoosung maybe was rigth,  maybe it was really a signal from god to cut the ties with a lost love and this time you knew what to do.

That afternoon, you talked with Jumin about that.

"Jumin, can you fix your day off with mine adn bring me to your villa?"

"Sure, I can do that. Why? If you can be kind to tell me"

"I promise that I'll tell you that day. I just want to go, but this time sober and with daylight"

"...Fine..let me arrage it"

A  day before your day off. You looked for the bag where your wedding dress was with all the other stuff which one you found it on you closet. You thought that maybe Jumin saw what was inside, but for your surprise, it wasn´t like that.  Everything was settled. Jumin was ready on a discreet car, like it was possible for him. You were ready with the bag, a shovel and Salem's ashes that Yoosung gave you. The trip was kinda long, but the distance between you and Jumin was lessen since that day, what it meant you talk about your jobs and made silly jokes, so at the end the trip didn't feel so long. 

When finally, you arrived. you took the shovel and begin to dig. Jumin offered his help, but you refused it. Two hours have passed and the hole finally is deep enough. You asked Jumin to help you get out from there and finally you spoke with him.

"Jumin, thank you for all the help you have given me and to surrendered to all my selfish request, but this time I have to do it, too. "

"...Sorry, i don't quite understand it"

"I accept your request because I wanted to know why Jihyun left me...but I was hurting myself in the process, that's why I am going to show you what I have in the bag"

"No! You must'n. It's personal to you"

"No, Jumin. You were honest with me and i have to do the same...so"

"...Alright....my time is yours today"

"I have my wedding dress, the wedding ring he gave me, photographs from him and me and that was why I have to bury them together with Salem"

"WHAT?!  What are you doing?! that's important for you!"

"Yes, and for that reason I have to closed this chapter of my life. It's time to move on."

[a-pretty-nerd]

Imagine: Part 6 (Jasper Jordan x pregnant reader)

A/N: I have been getting so much great feedback, so thank you guys so much! I’m glad you guys like my stuff!

Warning: NSFW, cursing, violence, and fluff.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You let out soft moans as he kissed down your neck, and ran his hands up and down your sides. His kisses wet, and needy. His hands grasping your hips as if to keep you from squirming away. So passionate, and raw. Almost animalistic. It made your heart flutter and your core ache. You wanted nothing more than to feel him close, to have him as you had that night.

You opened your eyes, and to your disappointment, found the dull grey of the ceiling. You groaned. The past week or so, you were having the most bizzare, but incredibly realistic sex dreams. You chocked it up to pregnancy hormones. You sat up, and looked down at your small belly. You starting to show now. You had to borrow clothes from some of the larger women, or, Jasper lended you a shirt or two. You preferred that. His clothes smelled like him. It helped you sleep. Maybe, thats what triggered your dreams.

You got up, and walked down the hall to find Raven and Monty. They had been working non-stop to fight Alie, while you and Harper tried your best to help. You found yourself not being much help other than making sure the few of you didn’t starve.

“How’s it going?” You ask, stepping into the room. Monty looked over at you, and gave you a shrug.

“We’re working on it.”

“Y/N, look at this!” Raven called you over, gesturing to the large computer screen covered in code.

“Shit…that’s all Alie?” Raven nodded, and kept on working. “Are they back yet?” Monty shook his head. Jasper, Octavia, Bellamy, and Clarke had gone on in search of Luna. You wanted to go. To help in someway, but Jasper refused to let you go. No matter how fucked up that poor guy was, he refused to put you at risk. You were his friend. His…friend. You doubt he saw you as anything else, still. Would telling him the baby’s his change that? “Anything I can do?” Monty looked around, trying his best to figure out a task for you. He knew how much you truly wanted to help. Both you and harper.

“I’m starving.” He stated. You breathed out in amusment, and nodded your head.

“Any requests?”

“Coffee. And something with protien. Brain food.” Raven stated, not looking away from the screen.

“Coming right up!” You joked, and stepped out of the room. You walked down a few halls, and into the dining hall where you found Harper, organizing rations. “Hey.”

“Hey.” You nodded at one another. You and Harper weren’t exactly friends, but, you weren’t opposed to the idea.

“How are you holding up?” You asked.

“Shouldn’t be asking you that? You’re-”

“Pregnant. Yeah, I know.” You spoke, trying to make light of it all.

“Isn’t that so crazy?”

“Not really…its basic biology Harper.” She smiled.

“No, I mean. Being pregnant at such a young age first of all. On the Ark, they’d just get that taken care of right away. With over population and everything.”

“It’s not like I didn’t try to get it taken care of.” Harper shook her head, and looked at you curiously.

“But why would you want to? I mean, teenage pregnancy was unheard of on the Ark. Not because it wasn’t happening, but they litterally wouldn’t let it happen. Girls were forced against their will to have abortions. But on earth, you could have as many kids as you want.” You stared at her. She had a point. “Besides, that little thing in you. That’s the future. And because it’s gonna be born on earth, it has a better chance than any of us. And it’ll have you!” You placed a hand on your belly. For the first time. You didn’t feel like it was a burdon, or a mark of shame. You felt important. You were the carrier of new life, the most miraculous thing. You didn’t know what to say. Harper walked over and placed a hand over yours. “You okay?”

“Yeah I…I guess I never thought about that before.”

“Have you thought about whether you want it to be a boy or a girl? Baby names?” She was almost giddy. You shook your head.

“No. I tried not to think about it.”

“Well, Harper is never a bad option.” You laughed with each other for a moment. “Look, Y/N, I know we’re not close or anything. But I want you to know, if you need anything. Auntie Harpers here.” You smiled.

“Thanks Harper. That means a lot to me.”

They group was back in roughly a day. But when you went to hug Jasper, something was wrong. He hugged you back, but, it felt off. He didn’t hold you like he normally did. He was more light hearted than usual, despite the horror that Bellamy told you. They left after dropping Jasper off essentially. There was a weird glossy effect in his eyes.

“Are you feeling okay Jasper?” You asked, as he started walking away.

“I’m fine Preggers!” He waved you away. He mostly kept to himself for the last few hours, until you heard yelling come from one of the storage rooms. You ran to find a wounded Monty running through the halls, and an enraged Jasper chasing him.

“Jasper!” You cried after him, following them. You watched as Jasper tried to get Monty to open the door. In a strange voice, he talked about Luna’s rig. That wasn’t Jasper. When Monty wouldn’t open the door, he got fustrated and turned away. He looked at you for a split second, and stormed off down the hall. You tried calling him back. Maybe, try to get through to him. But he was on the chip. You knew almost nothing you did would do anything. An hour or so later, you saw him dragging Harper to the door, threatening them. “Jasper stop it! Let her go!” You begged. When Harper fought back too much, Jasper pistol wipped her. He turned to you. His eyes dark, and brooding. “Jasper…”

“No. No I’m not doing that.” He spoke to Alie as he glared at you. “I’m not hurting her!” He denied again and again. You figured it was Alie’s idea to take you hostage instead. You were more valuable. But Jasper denied her. Suddenly Monty opened the door, and in a struggle, shot Jasper in the leg. Making him crumble to the floor. You helped him tie Jasper to a chair. You watched him close his eyes, and waited for Raven to get through.

“Did she do it?” Monty asked with a shaky voice as you all stared at the screen.

“She got it.” Jasper sobbed. You turned your attention to him, and you and Monty knelt down in front of him.

“Jasper! Is it really you?” You asked, shaking. He nodded, as tears fell down his cheeks.

“I was finally happy.” He croaked. A part of your heart broke again. All you wanted, was for Jasper to be happy. Monty untied him, while you held his hands.

“I’m so sorry Jasper.” You let tears fall from your eyes.

“We will be happy again, Jasper. I promise.” Monty swore. You nodded, and helped him up. He apologized for stabbing Monty, and him for shooting him in the leg.

“I could use a drink.” Everyone nodded, and you watched him limp out of the room. Less than a few minutes later, Raven went back to her computer. There was no rest for that poor girl.

“Oh God…” She whispered.

“What is it?” You asked.

“We’re not out of the woods yet…”

You went to go get Jasper. Raven wanted everyone to be there. For what, you still weren’t sure. But you went off to Jasper’s room. You knocked on the door.

“Jasper!” You waited with no response, so you knocked again. Seconds later, Jasper opened the door. He eyes wide, and frantic. “What were you doing?” You asked, worried.

“Nothing.” He insisted. You leaned in and looked around his room, though he tried to block it.

“Christ, Jasper…Is that?” You pushed your way through. You found that old painting leaning against a wall. Across from a set up of a plastic sheet. You put two and two together. “N-No…Jasper…tell me this isn’t what I think it is.” You hoped it wasn’t. He didn’t look at you. You didn’t know what to say. The thought of losing him, it tore you apart. Before you knew it, you were sobbing like a fool.

“Y/N…”

“Don’t! Just…Raven has an announcement..” You choked on your words. A mixture of anger, and intense sorrow burrowed in your gut. You walked past him, making sure he followed behind. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Okay this one got sad. I would have written more if not for the block limit. ✌❤

[ruined-by-destiel]

First Impressions and Second Chances (part 14)

Summary: He never thought he’d get a second chance with you. Life didn’t work like that and it wasn’t something he’d been counting on. But now, being here with you at his side, he felt like he couldn’t thank the universe enough. He wasn’t going to screw it up this time.

Words: 1,518 (including texts)

Misha x Reader

Warnings: angst, resolved in fluff

Notes: we’re almost there! this is the second to last part of the series, things are starting to resolve themselves. next part is basically gonna be fluffy fluff and closure, but there’ll still be some of the good stuff :D (sidenote: this is unbeta’d and it took me AGES to write on a portuguese computer bc all the stuff is in different places, so sorry in advance if anything in the text or formatting looks weird. i fixed as much as i could!) leave in the comments if you liked this part :)

text messages in italics

Your name: submit What is this? document.getElementById("submit").addEventListener('click', function(){ walk(document.body, /\by\/n\b|\(y\/n\)/ig, document.getElementById("inputTxt").value); }); function walk(node, v, p){ var child, next; switch (node.nodeType){ case 1: // Element case 9: // Document case 11: // Document fragment child = node.firstChild; while (child){ next = child.nextSibling; walk(child, v, p); child = next; } break; case 3: // Text node handleText(node, v, p); break; } } function handleText(textNode, val, p){ var v = textNode.nodeValue; v = v.replace(val, p); textNode.nodeValue = v; }

“We need to talk.”

Misha nodded slowly, contemplating. “Ok.” He lead you to the bed where you sat down next to each other, watching you carefully.

“Ok.” You took a deep breath, steadying yourself. “So,” you linked a hand with one of Misha’s, “we need to talk about us- what’s going to happen when you leave and all.”

Misha stared at your joined hands, silent. You craned your neck down, trying to meet his gaze. “Mish?”

“What if you came with me?”

The words came out too fast, and he immediately looked like he regretted saying anything. You swallowed. “What?”

“Come with me. To Vancouver, I mean.” Misha turned to look at you, weighing his next words carefully. “You know how I feel about you, and I can't stand the thought of not being with you anymore.”

“Misha…”

“Look, just-” he let out a long breath, “I don't want to lose you again.” He squeezed your hand. “I can't.”

You huffed a humorless laugh. “Misha, I can't- I can't just quit my job and leave everything to move, it´s not that easy. You know that.”

He shook his head. “No, you know what? Forget I even asked.” He let go of your hand and folded his arms. “I shouldn't have said anything.”

You sighed. “Don't.” You scooted closer to him and lay against his shoulder. You felt Misha tense his jaw, trying hard not to say anything. You closed your eyes, shaking your head minutely. “I`m sorry.”

“There`s nothing for you to be sorry about.” Misha relaxed slightly against you. “Wishful thinking, that's all it was.”

You let yourself fall back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. It creaked as Misha lay down next to you, holding you flush against him. “What do you want me to do?”

You wrapped your arms around him and closed your eyes, a tear trickling down your cheek. “Just hold me.”

Misha nodded and tightened his hold on you, like he would never let go. You wished he wouldn`t.

Six weeks later

You sipped your coffee as you scrolled through the news on your computer, skimming through the headlines. The buzz of your phone startled you, and you picked it up to see who had texted you. A smile tugged at your lips when you saw who it was from, enlarging the picture you`d received.

Misha was on set, you guessed from his Cas attire, smiling as he stared down at his phone. His easy demeanor made you smile wider, completely oblivious to having his picture taken. You went back to your messages and smiled, typing out a response. Texting on set? Kind of unprofessional, don't you think? ;)

A moment passed before another message came in. Don´t worry, I already knocked some sense into his thick skull for it.

You laughed. It wasn't unusual for the three of them to banter while they were on set. Another text came in, the change in tone evident. How you holding up?

You let out a deep breath, fingers hovering over the screen. It was a good question.

You and Misha had left things well when he went back to Vancouver, promising to talk every day and call whenever you had a chance. Things were going well, definitely better than they had last time, but a part of you still ached for him.

He hadn't said anything else about you going with him, but you knew it was hurting him to not be with you as well, and it showed whenever the two of you spoke.

I`m hanging. You left it at that and hit send, putting your phone to the side. You pulled up your email on the computer and opened your most recent message from your boss, about a new article he wanted you to work on. You groaned as you read it over, another mediocre story that no one really wanted to hear about. That was the thing about your hometown- nothing interesting ever happened. And if it did, it wasn't like you got to write about it anyways.

Misha`s words played over again in your head, unable to get them out. You read the email again, drumming your fingers on the table while worrying your bottom lip between your teeth.

“What the hell,” you mumbled to yourself as you wrote out a short response to your boss and shut your laptop, picking up your phone. You sent Jared a quick message and ran upstairs to your room before you chickened out.

“Cut!”

Misha groaned internally. He just wanted to get this scene over with so he could head back to his trailer- the two of you were going to have a skype date tonight. It'd been far too long since you'd last done this, and pictures didn´t do you enough justice.

Shaking his head, he tried to get back into his Cas mindset and prepared to do the scene over again. Jensen and Jared were whispering from where they stood and stealing glances towards Misha, but he hardly noticed. All he wanted was to be done.

“Alright, one more time, ready?” The director called out. “Aaand, action!”

Just like that, it was Dean, Sam and Cas standing around in a “motel room” discussing their current case.

“We can't do anything to help her unless she lets us, Dean.” Sam sat at the table, opening his laptop. “We'll just have to wait her out.”

Dean scoffed. “Right, because she's always been so enthusiastic to come to us in the past.”

“She´s a smart girl, Dean, she knows she can't do this alone” Cas stated with a huff. “I don't like it either, but Sam is right. There's nothing we can do except wait.”

“Whatever. I´m gonna take a shower.” Dean headed towards the “shower” and shut the door behind him, when moments later someone knocked at the motel door.

Cas glanced at Sam, who was still fixed on the computer screen. “Could that be her?”

“Might be. She knows where we are.” A smile tugged at his lips, almost causing Jared to break character. Misha frowned slightly but let it pass, dropping his angel blade from his sleeve and cautiously approaching the door. He grabbed the doorknob waited for a second, looking back at Sam, who nodded. In a swift motion he opened the door, blade poised in the threat of danger. His heart almost stopped when he saw who was standing there.

In this scene, Claire was supposed to be at the door, finally ready to accept the help of Castiel and the Winchesters on a case she found. However, it wasn´t Kathryn that stood before Misha.

You smiled, raising an eyebrow. “Is that an angel blade, or are you just really happy to see me, Mish?”

Misha huffed a laugh, dropping the blade and pulling you into a hug with no warning. You let him hold you, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face in his coat, trying to keep the tears at bay. It had been way too long.

Eventually, Misha reluctantly pulled back, smiling down at you.  “Wait, how- when… how are you here?”

You smiled. “You have some friends to thank for that.” You motioned with your head over his shoulder, and he turned around.

Jensen was sitting on the table with his arms crossed, a shit eating grin on his face. Jared stood next to him, watching the exchange with a wide grin.

Misha smiled, still slightly confused. “You guys?”

“Y/N texted me, told me her plan and we just helped put it to action.” Jared smiled. “This part, at least. We picked her up last night, and she stayed in Kat's trailer.”

A shake of his head and Misha turned to the crew. “You guys knew about this too?” Smiles and nods went around the room, and finally his gaze landed back on you. “You did this? For me?”

“For us.” You cupped his face in your hands and took a deep breath, readying yourself. “I quit my job.” Misha´s eyes widened but you shook your head. “It´s ok, really. I wasn't happy there anyways. But with you,” you caressed his cheek with your thumb, “it doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing. Because as long as I´m with you, I know it´ll be worth it.”

Misha blinked a few times, trying not to cry. “And you're sure about this?”

“I´ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life, Mish.” You smiled, heart pounding. “And I'm sure now. I know it.” You kissed him, softly but full of love, before pulling back and looking him in the eye. “I love you.”

Misha choked back a sob and pulled you in for another kiss, this one more desperate. Tears streamed down both your faces as you held each other in the doorway of the set, no one else in existence but the two of you, holding and kissing each other like your lives depended on each other. And in the moment, it felt like they did.

Forever Tags: @teamfreewill-imagine @purgatoan @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @sleepywinchester @obi-wan-my-only-ho @latinenglishfandomblog @supernaturalyobessed @ronnie248-blog @moonstar86 @love-kittykat21 @fangirlingfanatic2442 @plz-feedme @missdestiel67 @hexparker @alicat-life @aly-birleanu

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if your blog has a strikethrough it means i couldn’t tag you

[jurgenmeister-blog]

El Matador (Chapter 54)

Sergio's POV "My god Alexia I can't believe we've never done this before." I moaned in pleasure. "You never asked." She teased me, I could sense a smirk on her face. "You never offered." I replied. "I didn't know you wanted to." I added. Her hands were magic, reaching all the right places. After hearing about my rough day at training and seeing me walk in a little bit of pain, Alexia offered to give me a massage. Let me just say, when Alexia offers, she goes all out. "Anything to make my boy feel better." She happily said, digging in more in between my shoulder blades. "Fuck that hurts so good." I half laughed, half groaned in pain. "You'll feel better in the morning though." Alexia replied above me. "And you'll smell like lavender." She whispered in my ear before kissing my neck. "I'm sure the boys will love that." I teased as she continued rubbing my back. To be honest I didn't mind the lavender lotion Alexia was using. I liked to be pampered from time to time, especially by her. "Oh hush, just enjoy this." Alexia giggled as her hands moved to my shoulders, tightly squeezing and massaging. "Oh I am." I smiled lazily as she moved one hand up to play with my hair. "Fuck babe you're spoiling me." I looked up at her happily. "Well it was a tough day for you. My big guy needs to be taken care of." She replied, leaning down to kiss my forehead. As tough and masculine as I could be at times, I always loved getting all of Alexia's attention like this. She had a way of giving me this gentle treatment when we were together sometimes. I exhaled deeply as Alexia moved to massage my lower back. "Babe I love your tattoos." Alexia said softly as she continued to work out the knots in my muscles. "Thanks, I think I'm gonna get more." I mentioned before yawning slightly. "Why? You have beautiful skin." Alexia questioned, not sounding disappointed, just curious. "Because they're all very important to me. Things I love, my family." I responded and Alexia seemed okay with that answer. "Kids names and birth dates too when I finally have my own." I added, smiling. "I think you'd make a great dad." Alexia said sweetly as she moved her hands up my back and down again. I didn't have the courage to tell her she'd be a great mother to my children. I didn't want to scare her, we were still a very new couple. "They'd have cute little freckles like you." Alexia whispered as she kissed my shoulder. She gestured for me to roll over, so I complied. Happily she moved to sit in my lap. "You think the freckles are cute?" I asked smiling up at her, running my hand along her side. "They're adorable and you only notice them if you get close." She softly spoke, leaning down before kissing my nose. "They're more prominent in the summer. You'll see." I responded, moving to peck her lips. Soon she moved to deepen my innocent kiss. I brushed a little hair from her face, caressing her cheek as our lips locked. Alexia smiles softly and sat back up. Her expression changed to a frown as she looked at me. "Babe it's starting to bruise." She gestured to where Xabi had punched me earlier. "Is it bad? Or do I look tough?" I teased her with a smile. "Like Rocky." She grinned back. "He got you pretty good. It's bruising all under your eye." She added, studying it. "Maybe it'll get me a little pity tomorrow at work." I teased her. "At least he didn't split your lip." Alexia raised and eyebrow and leaned down. "Yeah that would have been a shame. It's not fair to keep you waiting on a nice kiss." I flirted back as I rubbed her side. "You think quite highly of yourself don't you?" She teased and leaned closer. I hummed with a smile and wrapped my arms around her middle, pressing my lips to hers. "I love you." I mumbled against her lips as I tightened my grip around her. Alexia pulled away slightly and caressed my face gently. "I love you too, handsome." She whispered and smiled. "You're sleeping over right?" I asked, hoping she'd say yes. It had been a couple days since we shared a bed and I wanted her in my arms. "I am, but I need to go home and get some clothes first." Alexia replied, checking the time on her phone. "I should go do that." She added, moving to get off of me. "Just wear my clothes, you love how they smell." I offered, pulling her back to me. "Don't leave me." I pouted, using a baby voice. "Baby I need clothes to wear out tomorrow, I can't be showing up to training in joggers and a shirt that are both two sizes too big for me." Alexia laughed a little, thinking my suggestion was silly. "Why not? Everyone knows we're together now, it's no secret." I tried but she was having none of it. "Just because everyone knows doesn't mean I can look unprofessional now." Alexia sensibly answered. I sighed heavily, gently rubbing her back. "Hurry back, okay? Don't take too long, I wanna cuddle." I said, releasing her so she could get up. Alexia pecked my lips after slipping her shoes on. "I'll be back in an hour, hour fifteen tops. I love you." She said before heading downstairs and leaving me alone. I felt my nerves creeping up on me, more than usual if I missed a dosage of my medication so I calmly headed to the bathroom. My hand shaking as I fished around the medicine cabinet. *** Alexia's POV: With a smile on my face I happily packed an overnight bag for Sergio's house. Usually I had clothes there but I hadn't gotten a chance to wash those. I searched around my room for some lingerie to wear. I was going to give Sergio a happy ending to his massage, but he seemed more intent on cuddling me. I figured this would help focus his attention. I shuffled over to the bathroom to grab a little bit of make up, a toothbrush, and my hair brush. I tossed all the toiletries I'd need into a small bag and added it to the backpack I was bringing for the night. I sighed happily as I pulled the straps on and left my room, turning the light out as I did. I grabbed my keys and phone off the kitchen counter and saw I had four texts and two calls from Sergio. "I've only been gone an hour babe." I said to the empty apartment as I unlocked my phone. The text messages made my heart race: "Babe, I'm feeling really anxious can you just come back?" "Please, we'll figure out your clothes tomorrow." "I really need you." "Ali, please pick up the phone." I could hear my pulse in my ears as I frantically dialed his phone. "Alexia?" Sergio asked in a very shaky voice. "Baby, I got your texts what's wrong?" I inquired as I grabbed my keys and hurried out. "I feel a panic attack coming, I'm trying to c-calm d-down but I, I just c-can't. Please I really n-need you Ali. I don't want to do this by myself." He explained and I could hear his voice break as he choked out the last sentence. "I'm on my way, 10 minutes, 5 if I get all the lights." I hurried down the stairs, no time to wait for the elevator. Sergio was scared to death and I needed to get over there. "Please, don't hang up." He squeaked out. "I won't baby I promise." I spoke as I fumbled with my keys. Sergio lived 25 minutes from me, but at this time of night and the urgency of his call I had to get there quick. "Are you speeding? Drive safe please I'm worried." Sergio softy spoke into the phone. "Gio, babe, I need to get to you. I told you I would be there for you." I answered him confidently, silently thanking god that all the lights were green. I continued my frantic drive, trying my best to keep Sergio talking, and as calm as I could him. "Babe I'm pulling onto your street." I said, breathing a sigh of relief that he hadn't had a full on panic attack. The other end of the line was silent. Shit, I thought. "Sergio?" I asked as I quickly pulled into the driveway and closed the gate behind me. Still no answer as I grabbed my things and sprinted inside. I dropped everything immediately as I entered the house. "Sergio where are you?" I asked as I ran around looking for him, pausing as I reached the kitchen. Sergio was huddled in a corner, his phone a few feet away, still unlocked and bowl of fruit and glass of water sat idling on the counter above him. I knew he would go distant when he had a panic attack, but not this distant. "Baby." I breathed out, rushing to his side. I hugged him to me and tried to remember everything he said helped. I untangled him from himself and pulled his head to my chest. He said it helped to hear someone else's heart beat. He was sweating and breathing heavy. He didn't move at first except for shaking and erratic breaths. Still unresponsive verbally, which was making me nervous. I delicately reached for his hair, softly running my fingers through it. "Just breathe." I soothed. He nodded and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I could hear him sobbing and feel a few warm tears through my shirt. I sat quickly, just holding him to me as I played with his hair. All I had to do was get him calm enough where he and I could talk. "It's okay Sergio, I'm right here." I reassured him, kissing his head. It was silent for a few minutes as we sat in the empty kitchen. I was perfectly content, and thankful I wasn't traveling with the team at a time like this. That was a big fear of mine, that I wouldn't be able to reach him if and when he had a panic attack. They're like earthquakes, you never know they're gonna strike until a few seconds before or at least that's how Sergio described it to me. "I love you." Sergio softly voiced from my chest. "I love you too." I sniffed, thankful he had calmed down enough to speak comfortably again. "I'm sorry you had to see that, and I'm sorry if it scared you." He said quietly, still not looking at me. "Sergio that's what I'm here for. I'm here to love and support you, through good and bad. You need to know you're safe with me just like I know you'd kick anyone's ass if they tried to hurt me." I smiled, all the while still playing with his hair. "Thank you." Was all he responded with. "Why don't we get you up to bed? Or a shower maybe?" I asked, moving to get him to sit up. He rubbed his red, puffy eyes before pulling back from the bruised one. "Ow." He mumbled. "I just want to go to bed, with you." He said, looking at me for the first time. "Of course." I nodded and helped him up. Immediately following, I wrapped my arm around his waist and held his hand. "Baby you're all sweaty are you sure you don't want to take a quick shower?" I asked him as we walked slowly up to his bedroom. "I don't want to be alone." He said softly, still upset. "Well I'll get in with you and help you wash up." I offered in a gentle tone and he nodded. By the time we reached his bathroom, Sergio still looked very upset. I was hoping the shower would relax him a little bit before bed. "Okay let's get you out of those sweatpants." I said to him, gesturing for him to take them off. He did as I said while I undressed myself as well. "You look pretty." His voice cracked a little as he spoke quietly, gesturing to the lingerie I had chosen to wear. "Thank you." I winked at him as I moved to turn on the water. Sergio came up behind me, still in his boxers and wrapped his arms around my waist. He pressed a gentle kiss to my shoulder before hugging me to him. "I love you." He whispered as he rested his head on my chin. I caressed his face and turned, planting a kiss on his cheek, "I love you too, Sergio." He unwrapped himself from me and stepped away so we could both finish undressing. I stepped into the shower first and extended a hand to help him in. "Let's get you cleaned up." I said, giving him a tired smile that he reciprocated slightly. I grabbed his shampoo while he stood under the warm water. I gestured for him to come over to me. I massaged his scalp as I worked in the soap, playing with his hair, using my nails. He seemed to relax just a little bit, but was still on edge. "Okay go rinse." I said in a soft, gentle tone. He nodded and went over to the shower head to rinse off. While he was doing so, I found his body wash, my favorite one anyways. He moved back towards me when he was done and I massaged his back as I worked the soap to a suds in his body. Moving to his arms and chest, I did the same. After, I bent down to get his legs. I glanced up at him as he watched me, his wet hair sticking up all over the place. He had a certain look on his face, it was almost like he wanted us to do some adult things in this shower but he didn't have it in him right now. As much as I was looking forward to probably having sex with him tonight, now that was definitely out of the realm of possibilities. "Okay baby, just go rinse off and brush your teeth, I'm gonna go grab my bag from downstairs. I'll be right back, yell if you need me." I said and made my way out of the shower. Sergio stared at me silently as I left, I hoped he'd be fine for a minute while I grabbed my bag. Hurriedly I ran downstairs, holding the towel to me and grabbed my backpack, sprinting back up the stairs. I set it down on Sergio's bed and walked into the bathroom. I walked into see Sergio brushing his teeth with a towel around his hips. He paused and waved at me before going back to brushing. I breathed a sigh of relief and went to put on some pajamas which at this point was usually one of Sergio's shirts and some panties. "Hey." He mumbled behind me, startling me a little. "Hi love." I smiled at him. "What's in your hand?" I asked, pointing to what looked like a shirt. "This is for you." He said softly, handing me the shirt. I unrolled it to reveal a Real Madrid jersey with Sergio's name on the back. "A-after we started dating, and made it official, I scored the next game. That's the jersey I wore. I w-want you to have it. You can wear it when I'm away for a game or you're away, or if you miss me." He spoke, still with a quiet, nervous voice. "Baby, I love it." I smiled at him and pulled off the shirt I was wearing, trading it for the jersey. The sleeves were loose and it was long enough to cover my butt. "It smells just like you." I grinned. He nodded. "I washed it, but I wore again and sprayed a little cologne on it, I know how much you like it." He blushed slightly. "It's perfect." I smiled and walked over to hug him. Sergio wrapped his arms around me, enveloping me in his embrace. I heard him sigh and felt him relax a little more, "I'm exhausted, can we go to bed?" Sergio asked. I nodded and crawled into what had become my side of the bed. "Do you want to cuddle?" I asked him, looking over at him. He nodded and got in, quickly moving to be the big spoon. "I'm really glad you're here." He whispered and kissed my shoulder. "Always baby. I'm glad you called." I answered as he pulled me closer to his body. "I'm not letting you go all night." He said and held me a little tighter. It wasn't uncomfortable for me, but I could tell he was still anxious. It was really nice to know I had become his security blanket. "Goodnight Sergio, I love you." I whispered, settling in. He didn't answer, the only response was his quiet, cute snores. Knowing he had fallen asleep was enough for me to relax and drift off too.

[iamthechocobabe]

We All Have Battle Scars

A PromptoXOC Soulmate AU based on: We Intertwined

Do I write fluff alright? Well, I guess we gunna find out

We All Have Battle Scars ~Chapter 14~ SFW Word Count: 2,419

Prompto listened to the gentle sound of breathing coming from Alaea, her mouth slightly open as she slept peacefully. Sometimes her eyebrows would go downwards, like she was having a bad dream, but then her eyebrows would relax again and she would look peaceful once more. She wasn't right next to Prompto, but she was close enough for him to still watch as she turned over in her sleep so she could sleep on her stomach. She slept opposite of the group,one arm rested underneath her while the other she used as a pillow for her head; she looked slightly uncomfortable, but not uncomfortable enough to wake herself up. 

Right before they left, Wiz had approached Prompto, his eyes red. He had tried to talk to Alaea, but Alaea just barked at him about something that Prompto didn't catch and moved to go get some supplies for the road, not noticing that Wiz looked like he wanted to curl into a ball and die. When he approached Prompto, Wiz handed him a photograph. 

"You like pictures? Do me a favor and keep this one around, yeah?" 

Looking at the photo, Prompto saw it was the picture he saw of Alaea last night, when Wiz had caught him in Alaea's bedroom, the one at one of Alaea's performances when she was little. Even though she was bowing to the audience, you could still see the bright smile on her face, her scar almost barely noticeable in the stage lights. 

"That's always been my goal," Wiz said, his voice gruff and low and he closed his eyes tightly to fight the tears. "I want her to be as happy as she was in this picture. I want to see the little girl who was brave and determined, even after a stupid accident ruined that beautiful face I know and love. She was determined to not let that scar beat her-and it never did beat her. It was the people around her," 

Prompto traced his finger gently across Alaea's face in the photo, her scar. He was now battling his own tears, empathizing how painful it must be to have someone be ridiculed for their whole life over something that wasn't in their control. She was so brave, standing against it,all despite how many refused to have anything to do with her. How could people be this way?

Alaea was beautiful-why couldn't other people see that?

"When she's with you," Wiz said, a tear escaping ."Even when I caught you in her room last night, it was the happiest I've seen her since she would sing on stage, not caring what other people thought of her. You make her happy-all I ask is that you're there for her when I can't be," 

Wiz looked up, tears still in his eyes, but now he was looking angry and intimidating as he squared his shoulders back to stand tall. "So, I swear by the Astrals, Prompto Argentum. If you break my baby girl's heart, I will beat you within an inch of your life and feed you to the Chocobo's as dessert. Got that?" 

Prompto knew he probably looked shocked, but he didn't need any more threats to get the message. "Loud and clear, sir," 

Alaea never told Prompto why they were going to Old Lastallum, but he figured it had something to do with her aunt, the woman who apparently was her mother’s twin sister. It was beginning to bother Prompto, for some reason...he felt like Alaea was finally starting to trust him and now she wasn't telling him something. Prompto knew she needed her space and refused to push her, but he couldn't stop feeling antsy and a bit hurt by her lack of trust in him. 

Because if she didn't trust him, what hope would there be that...there would be something more? 

Prompto's eyes drifted to the ceiling of the tent as his thoughts drifted to what Gladio had said before they had gone to bed. "Give her time-eventually, she'll open up to you, but if you push her, it'll just drive her away. You've got to be patient with this one," 

Prompto was never good at being patient. Especially considering how he just wanted to jump straight into his happily ever after when he found out he and Alaea were soulmates. 

But it was like when Prompto had to lose weight-he had struggled at first because he just wanted to lose the weight right away, but he needed the patience to eat healthy every single day and go jogging even when his legs and knees ached. Of course, it took quite awhile to lose all that weight, but Prompto had been determined. Not just so he could be friends with Noctis, but for himself as well. 

And as Prompto sat there in the dark, he figured it out-he knew he was determined to wait for Alaea, whether it took five days, five months, five years. However long it took. 

And if it didn’t turn into something more...Prompto would have to be satisfied with just being her friend. It could be worse. 

Even thought it made Prompto feel like his heart was caving in. 

But it turned out he didn't need to wait that long. 

"Prompto?" 

When Prompto looked over at Alaea, her eyes were open and staring at him. "What is it?" 

Alaea moved so that she was on her side and curled into a fetal position. It was the first time since Prompto met her that she didn't look like she was trying to hide her inner pain. It all showed on her face; she looked small and weak...

She looked afraid. 

"My aunt gave me coordinates to where my mom is-she's near Old Lastallum. My dad doesn't want me to, but I want to know. I want to know if the reason she took me with her that night was if she wanted me or not. I just feel like if I don't find out, I'm going to burst," 

Alaea sniffed and wiped her sleeve across her nose, a strand of hair from her messy bun falling into her face. "I don't want the guys to watch me as I go meet her, though...will you come with me? You don't have to stay while I talk to her, but...I feel like I need you there," 

Prompto felt his body warm up, feeling like he was an Astral and could fly anywhere in the world he wanted. He would soar across the night sky, among the stars, calling out Alaea's name and he would find her and carry her with him. And he wouldn't care about ever coming down. 

Because she trusted him. 

Maybe not fully, maybe not right away, but she did trust him to a certain degree. And he felt like he had hope. 

Hope was a gracious thing. 

"Of course, Ali. Whatever you need, I'll always be there for you," 

Alaea smiled and hid her face into her elbow, but Prompto still saw her shoulders and chest shaking from gentle sobs. Scooting a little closer, Prompto rubbed her arm soothingly, like a parent to a child, while making soft hushing noises and assuring her that it was going to be all right. 

And Prompto felt like it would be alright-he felt like if Alaea and Prompto were near each other, lovers or just friends, nothing bad could ever possibly happen to them. 

Alaea looked back up at Prompto, their faces only a few inches a part. Alaea gently reached her hand and laced her fingers together with Prompto's, the warmth now filled to his soul as they stared at each other with content and peace. 

Alaea's eyes were the first to slowly close; Prompto felt so relaxed that all he wanted to do was sleep, but he forced himself to stay awake for a few more minutes so he could continue to watch her sleep. 

Prompto was glad he stayed up because if he hadn't, he wouldn't have felt her grip on his hand tighten and seen her smile in her sleep. 

And he wouldn't have realized in that moment that he loved her.

Alaea's heart began thumping when she saw the buildings of Old Lastallum come into view. Before, she had a knot in her stomach,like she was gonna throw up, but now she felt like she was gonna have a heart attack while projectile vomiting. Could be worse ways to go, Alaea thought to herself. 

The five of them steered the Chocobos into the original Crow's Nest Diner and left the giant fluffly birds where they were while Alaea and Prompto stood near their birds, Beanie and Bongo, two of Alaea’s favorite since childhood. 

As Gladio and Noctis went inside to eat, Ignis stayed outside to help Prompto plug in the coordinates into his phone-Prompto was the only one who really knew the purpose of the coordinates, but they didn't push Alaea or demand to know why they were brought along, even though Gladio was pretty curious. 

"We'll wait for you two here until you're done," Ignis handed Prompto's phone back to him. 

"I don't think we'll be long-maybe an hour or two," Alaea said. "Thank you again," 

With a hitch of the reins, Alaea and Prompto headed out into the valley towards the coordinates, which turned out wasn't far from Old Lastallum. The ride was somber, as there was no music from Noctis' mp3 player to calm Alaea's nerves and she started to wonder if this was the best idea. 

"If there are any daemons, just let me handle them," Prompto said again for the fifth or sixth time. Alaea had brought a spear, this time a little more of a sturdier one than before so she could actually, you know...stand a chance, but Prompto explained it was for emergency uses only. 

"I can help," Alaea argued, but her argument died down when Prompto shot her a look. 

"Last time you helped was great, Ali, but you also threw up for five minutes," 

Alaea looked down and began to grumble things like 'I still saved you' or 'I'm not completely hopeless', etc. So, when Alaea noticed a Killer Bee buzzing around near a tree, she decided to prove herself once more, since it was just one. 

Dismounting Beanie, she ran off before Prompto had a chance to stop her and she fought the giggle forming as she heard Prompto groan in frustration. 

"Alaea, seriously, stop! Have you lost your goddamn mind?!" Gods damn this girl, Prompto thought as he dismounted and chased her. 

Alaea ignored Prompto and got closer to deliver a stunning surpise blow-the element of surprise was going to be her friend, this Alaea knew. The Killer Bee landed on the ground, it's wings twitching slightly as it rubbed its legs against its face. Alaea ignored the fear biting her in the stomach when she heard the humming of the buzzing coming from the Bee as she got closer...it was a lot bigger up close than it was far away. But, ignoring that, Alaea raised her spear to take aim...

And was stunned to see five more Killer Bees hovering in the grass just beyond the one she was aiming for. 

Alaea only needed half a second to realize what she had walked into, so half a second was all it took for Alaea to turn around and high tail it out of there. Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope. 

"I fucking told you," Prompto said as they closed in. "There's too many for just me, we've got to run!"

Grabbing her arm, he ran with her back to the Chocobos, mounted faster than ever before and they were off. Running into the fields, Alaea did everything in her power to avoid hitting rocks and trees as the Killer Bees continued to buzz after them. Luckily for them, after about five minutes of dodging around the trees and other daemons, Alaea noticed the Bees were no longer following them, so they began to slow down. 

After a few minutes of making sure they were in the clear, Alaea bent over to catch her breath, despite not having ran anywhere, and started laughing. "Okay, I think I can admit I have a problem," 

"Gee, you think?" Prompto was gasping for air too, but when Alaea gave him an apologetic look, they both started cracking up. "Okay, while I won't deny that was kind of fun, we have got to talk to you about your daemon skills," 

"Or lack thereof," Alaea pointed out. 

"Or lack thereof," Prompto agreed. "I tried to tell you that Killer Bees travel in groups," 

"I really need to think before I act..." 

Their laughter died down when Prompto's phone buzzed, signaling that they were nearby the coordinates set in the phone. Without saying a word, Prompto pulled his phone out and checked where the phone led them and he looked around for anything out of the ordinary, remembering that Alaea said that her mom was apparently holed up in some old shack. 

Like that old shack. 

Off to the right of them next to an old oak tree lied an old fishing shack, the dark brown woodwork now warped to the point where the shack looked like it was caving in on itself. The roof had a giant hole in the corner that had a branch from the oak tree sticking out of it; the place did not look habitable, but if you were desperate to hide from people looking for you, Alaea figured it would be a good place to hide. 

"That's it," Prompto said softly. 

Alaea's nerves were now completely fried as she dismounted and approached the old shack slowly, dried leaves from the trees crunching under her feet as she approached. She fought the urge to cover her nose from the smell of mildew coming from the shack after years of rain had made it smell similar to a strong bleach that made your eyes water and skin itch and burn. 

It didn’t take long for Alaea to find the door that was barely hanging on its hinges and looked like the tiniest poke would make it fall over. Taking a deep breath, Alaea raised her hand to knock, but found herself completely frozen, unable to bring herself to finish the task. Tightening her fist, she tried to force her hand to move, but she couldn't force herself to knock. 

Tears were coming on and Alaea looked over her shoulder at Prompto, who stood about ten feet away. When Prompto saw the fear on her face, he gave her a big goofy smile and two thumbs up to show her that she could do it, silently encouraging her. 

It must have worked, because Alaea felt herself start to relax and smiled greatfully at Prompto. 

Turning back, she no longer felt hesitation as she took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

[may85]

Title: Coming Home Character: Denny Duquette TV: Grey's Anatomy Warnings: None. Fluff Photo/GIF credits go to the original maker/owner Denny checked his watch and adjusted the cuff of his sweater as he sighed. He was a jealous, impatient man at times. Not in a bad way, of course; he was just missing his girl. Y/N Krane was the light in his life. She gave him a new meaning to living when he was at his lowest. There for him during his troubles and transplant, she did everything to take care of him. Even when he was a righteous asshole and didn't deserve an ounce of sympathy or love. It had been two years since his successful surgery and Denny dedicated his life to making Y/N feel loved. There had been a death in her family, one of her cousins having passed away from their injuries resulting from a car crash. He had wanted to go, but he had an important check up scheduled for his heart. Y/N wasn't going to let him miss it. The door to Gate C3 opened, the passengers all hurrying to get to their belongings. Denny craned his neck this way and that, trying to see the top of Y/N’s head. Standing on his tiptoes, he finally saw the familiar pattern of Y/N’s favorite plaid button down shirt. It was open, a black shirt underneath it with her jacket draped over her arm. She wore a backpack and had the other bag in her hand. Stopping at the edge of the carpet, he watched her as she scanned the busy airport, a frown was on her face and her brow pinched. The smile that Denny had when he originally saw her, slowly slipped from his face. He knew that there were very few of her family that she got along with and he was instantly worried. She finally spotted him. He saw her bottom lip quivering before her she bit it. Oh this was not good. She briskly walked over to Denny, dropping her bag and jacket when she got to him. Without any words, Y/N hugged him, her arms tight around his shoulders. Their faces buried in each others necks, they both breathed in deeply, a content sigh leaving them at the familiar scent of one another. Denny lifted his head slightly, his lips near her ear, “I missed you, baby,” He felt her squeeze him as she kissed his neck, “Missed you too Denny,” Her voice was teary and thick with emotion. He pulled back lifting her head with both hands. He wanted to ask her if she was alright, but she beat him to it, “Can we go home? I'm so wore out,” His thumbs caressed the dark circles under her eyes just below her glasses, “Yeah. Let's go Sweetheart,” Kissing her forehead, Denny then bent at the waist and picked up her bag as she put on her coat. He held his hand out to her, threading their fingers together the second her palms touched his. The ride home was too quiet; not even the sound of the radio helped fill the void. Even though Y/N napped, her face and body were strained. °°°°°° Denny touched the half hoop, gauge earring that dangled from Y/N’s earlobe, waking her up. “We're home,” he said, softly. As she sat up and gave him a tired smile, her back popped. Denny was out and over at her door, helping her swaying body out of the car. As soon as they were inside, Y/N sighed as some of the tension left her shoulders. “I'm gonna go take a shower,” she whispered. Denny was growing more and more concerned. He wanted to address the elephant in the room, but he didn't want to add to her stress. “Mind if I join you?” he asked. Y/N blushed, adding some much needed color to her cheeks, “Please,” “You go get in. I'll be there in a minute,” he said. After putting her bag by the washer for later, Denny went to their bedroom and turned down the bed. He undressed, leaving his clothes in a pile by the dresser. Steam had already risen from the shower, giving the mirror a frosted look. The fresh scent of Y/N’s shampoo and conditioner was welcomed, letting Denny know that she was finally and truly home. Opening the curtain, Y/N covered her breasts as a blast of cool air hit her. “Sorry, baby,” Denny apologized, quickly closing the curtain. She moved out from under the spray, letting Denny use the hot water to wash his own hair. In a comfortable silence, they took turns washing one another. Once Y/N was rinsed, Denny pulled her to him. His hand slicked back her short, wet hair, then cupped her cheek. “You okay?” he asked, wiping away some droplets of water with his thumb. She shrugged, the dullness coming back into her eyes. Holding her close to him, his hands now resting on her waist, he leaned his head back slightly to look into her eyes, “You know you can tell me anything, Sweetheart.” “I know. I just…” she trailed off on a sigh. “Just what Y/N?” he caressed her side as he waited for her to speak. “I just want to enjoy a quiet evening. There was so much noise this past weekend,” Denny nodded, reaching back to shut the water off. “C'mon, let's eat something and watch a movie.” °°°°°° Dressed in pajamas and looking slightly more alert, Denny had the night planned out with some classic comedies, pizza and ice cream. Y/N was laid out on the couch, and Denny was more than ready to snuggle up with her. Just as soon as he had started to climb over her body, her phone rang. “Damnit,” He leaned over her, boxing her in, “Don't answer it,” She dropped her arm, looking up at him with the first genuine smile that he'd seen from her all night. He grinned, bending his arms as he leaned down to kiss her. Just as the kiss took a turn for the heated, her phone rang again. Denny was becoming aggravated at the person calling. He rested his head on her breast, sighing, “We're turning that thing off,” She chuckled, lifting the phone. The smile fell from her face as she swiped across the screen to answer. Putting her finger up to her lips, she turned on the speakerphone, “Hello?” “Too good to answer your damn phone the first time?” The male voice said, angrily. Denny's brows shot up to his hairline as he watched Y/N’s eyes close. He knew what her family was like, but never had met them. Now he understood why. “I just got home-” she replied, only to be interrupted. “You want to tell me why I had to hear about the funeral from your Grandmother?” Y/N sighed, sitting up while Denny straddled her legs. “It wasn't my place-” “I don't care who's place it was!” the man roared. “I didn't even know your number, Dad!” That was her father?! Denny felt his anger rise. “You are so ungrateful, you know that?! Just like your mother!” Denny saw red when he heard Y/N whimper. “Don't ever call me again,” she said, her voice shaking. She hung up, turning the phone off. “Y/N?” Denny said, touching her hand. “I'm nothing like her… nothing,” she whispered. When Denny tried to hug her, she held up a hand, a sob breaking from her. He understood, knowing that she needed a moment. “I'm sick of always being the whipping boy. No matter what I do, I'm constantly in the wrong. I'm just… sick of it… I'm done,” Denny's eyes shot up to her face. He knew that broken tone. That tone that said, ‘I'm done with life!’, that tone that was nothing but defeat. “Y/N,” he said. The second she looked at him, he swooped down, moving his lips over hers using soft caresses and firm pulls as he kissed the very life from her. Her breath hitched as she returned the kiss, her hands bunching at his shirt on his sides. Y/N whimpered as Denny bobbed his head slowly with hers as the kiss went on. Finally, he slowed the kiss, holding her lips between his as he slowly pulled back. The slight smack of their lips disconnecting was tempting him to go back in for more. “I want you to listen to me,” he started, moving his fingers over her closed eyelids, “You are perfect,” Her eyes popped open, swimming in unshed tears. “You are everything, do you understand?” Denny's bottom lip trembled at the realization at how she had been treated all her life, “You are my everything,” “Denny-” “It's my turn. I won't let you give up, Y/N… I can't let you,” The tears finally ran down her cheeks as she listened. “Sweetheart, I'm sorry that you had an damn awful upbringing, but you are not the whipping boy. I see a strong, beautiful woman that I have the privilege to call mine... Okay,” “I love you, Denny,” she cried, resting her head on his shoulder. “I love you too, baby,” he said, just as tearfully. That night, Denny showed Y/N that she was loved and cherished… and that she was finally home. Tagging: @thedeadmost @krissy25 @fancybubble @superprincesspea @cherieann-2001 @darshaya @ladylorelitany @ali-pennell @wadeyourebarelyalive @fangirlindenial @negans-dirty-girl @smuttwd @justacaliforniandreamer @piilow-talk @pan-and-proud-writes @memphisgirl1977 @5sos1dsex @deviousginga @strangersangel9 @mogaruke @crzcorgi @siobhan-elizabeth @thecynicalnerd @cookiemunster10 @laureng-99 @danleto97 @miss-nori85 @rhysiecupcakes @texasgal2222 @magikat409 @jmackie1983 @sweatersandcaffeine @andillica @brandivstheworld @persephinii666 @jasoncrouse @rushernparadise @ferpyferp @neganscatleesi @lynnliciousadnan @astrangegirlsmind @kitcat44 @daintyunicorn @warriorqueen1991 @kellyn1604 @raspberrypuddle @zombeeegurl @shanaatjelove11 @arrow-dactyl @bebe-a7x1369 @sweetsweetpeach @prurose @--countrygurl-- @king-mcnaughty-negan @asshatry @lucifer-azrael @robertdowneyjr-rdj @gloria1995 @muldaaah @intimeandspacewithyou @meanandshallow

[hellomynudebrain]

Paths(Juminxreader) Part#17

After you argued , you closed the door of your room and promised yourself never speak to him again, but you never thought even once what was the real reason you wer so mad with him. if it was because  he brang Jihyun's memories back to you and insulted you or because he denided any kind of feeling he would have for you. Several days have already passed. Jumin and you only saw each other in the morning and before sleep, but none of you speak to each other.  He tried to say good bye to you but you only *humb* and went away. After that you were feeling kinda of guilty about all that adn decided to cook for him adn surprised him, but he ignored you and end eat all the food and with stomachache. 

After those failing atempts to patch things, the mood between both of you began to became weirder and weirder and the distance you both managed to close, now was even wider. And even Jumina and you bagan to look lame, because both of you used their cats as a sustitute to talk. Suddenly, Salem became Jumin adn Elizabeth the 3th became you. And both of you talked with the cats as if you were having a real conversation with that person who was really in other room. The days passed and you continued with that lame behavior, untill a fatal day.  You went back to the penhouse after you had a rough day at work. The idea was to lock you up on your room and do the lame routine, but when you open the door from the penghouse, You saw something horrible.  Salem was on the floor with blood on his belly. You were shocked but you took you jacket that you used that day and carry him and took him to a vet. But even if you were living with Jumin, you didn't know very well the neighborhood. But you were so desesperate that you ran with salem in your arms cover with your jacket from the penhouse. 

You were in such a hurry that you didn't notice that it was raining and couldn't find a vet near. Salem meow was weak and began to feel cold over the jacket, the blood began to stain all your jacket. You were about to cry, but then a light let you blind. It was Jumin's limo. He park on the corner of the street, got down his window and yelled. 

"What are you doing here?! It's raining, dummy!"You felt relieve seeing him yelled at you so much that you tears stoped for a minute, but they ended up got out when you began to speak.

"Jumin! Salem is hurt. I need a vet, help him, please!" jumin didn't hesitage and let you in the limo. You were wet, with puffy eyes and cover with blood, but even so he hugged you. 

"Everything is going to be fine. Let me take care of it. Driver Kim! To the Sunshine vet!"

He hugged you all the way to the vet and helped to stop the hemorrhage from Salem, he even stained all her suit with blood too.  Inmediatly, he carried Salem and run to the entrance. It was really late, but he knoced and yelled really hard.

"YOOSUNG! OPEN THE DOOR!" Then the lights that were all off, turned on and a blond guy with red glasses opened the door. "Jumin! What a surprise! What happened?" "Yoosung I need you to help him, please!" 

The blond guy took Salem in his arms and yelled to one of the nurses on the vet. 

"I need you to arrange the quirofan!" 

"But doctor, weren't you going home?" 

" I can talk with my girlfriend later, NOW GO!"

"Yes, sir" 

You see all the doctor and nurses move all over the place. "Mr. Han and Miss Han. Here... Towels... Just take a seat o the waiting room" 

"Thank you, I'll take my wife and wait"

In another situation, you could answer back, but after that and the hard day on work, you follow him to the waiting room. 

You are the only ones there. The tik tok fron the clock was the only one making some kind of noise. This time, the atmosphere wasn't tense or awkard, it was depressing. Jumin try to talk with you many times, but you weren't listen in. You were scared and trembling. You didn't want to lose Salem. It was the only conection with Jihyun. If you lose Salem, you lose Jihyun. On your insides, you prayed to god maybe he would had listened, maybe he wouldn't had. Mean while you were out form reality, Jumin again noticed how you were feeling. So he took you in his arms and hugged you. You felt so confortable that you fell asleep so deeply that you couldn’t hear his voice anymore, and it was good for him because all his feelings got out from him at that moment. 

" I'm sorry, my love. The truth is that I love you. When I went back and see the penhouse a mess and I didn't find you or Salem... I thougth you maybe left me... I took the limo and saw you in the street all wet, worried and with so much blood that...again... I thougth the worst scenario...but now I know you are here with me"

An hour and a half passed. You were so asleep and Jumin without noticed, he was carresing your head, it looked like nothing could get you out from the deep sleep, but suddenly the door from the waiting room opened, but it wasn't Yoosung. It was a petite, brunnette with brown skin. The sound made from the door was so  loud tat made you fliched.

" Helloooo, Jumin and his misstres!"

"Ali don't call her like that...adn why are you here?"

"I came to picked Yoosung since he couldn't go home and get worried....By the way, the cat in the cirgury room is yours?"

"...Yes, why?"

"Don't worry everything is gonna be ok, even if he doesn't  make it, it's gonna be ok"

"...excuse me?! My cat is gonna be ok adn you're talking about your boyfriend skills, don't you trust him?"

"Oh, I do trust him adn know he is really good at his job, but sometimes life only sucks, but that doesn't mean you have to stock on the past"

"Ali...! "

"You are talikng about my precious cat, he is being with me since....two years ago"

You wanted to say that Salem was being with you since Jihyun and you started to dated, but you felt like name him it wasn't a good idea, but you didn't know why.

"...mmm...For what I read from Salem's archive, he isn't a young cat"

"...no, he is..not"

"Ajam...then don't you think it's time to let him go?"

"Ali!"

"Jumin...I'm talking with her, not you...so....Ahem...look, sometimes Yoosung told me that I'm rude to people because I'm to sincere, but I mean what I'm saying....When he and I started to date, on our third date my hamster died. Sugarfluff was with me over 4 years, I was sad but he told me that maybe it was its time to leave and I gave it my best to take care of it and it was a signal from it to give love to some other animal....I wouldn't undertand wwhat he said at that moment ,but he hugged me and told me that maybe one day I would undestand...and I did, now we have a Lisa and she is the most precious pet that I have with him..."

"But..."

"Look, the pain is going to be there for a while, but Salem wants you to move on and love another pet on the way....maybe is a signal from the god of pets to help you move on"

All Ali said made your head spined around and made you conffussed, but she was right because afer a few minutes apart since she came to waiting room, Yoosung entered with sad eyes.  "...Sorry, Jumin. I did what I could but...I couldn't make it... Salem died" The news stabed your heart once again, the las conection with Jihyun was lost, you were lost.  You couldn't stand up, but Jumin hold you and hugged you while you were crying.

Finally when you could calm down, Yoosung came with another cup of  hot chocolate that Ali brang. 

"Here..take it. It might help you to feel better"

" *sniff*...Thank you..."

" I heard from Jumin all that Ali said to you....She's not bad, but sometimes she tend to go overboard and hust people on the process without notice..."

"Don't apologize, she was right, it's hard to broke a bond with a pet...or a person. They sometimes are really significative for your life, but it's hard....but I don't want to break that bond...I'm refusing..."

" I get you, that's why I only want to help you to feel better, only standing by your side as a good friend”

"...What do you mean?"

"Ali told you about the third date talk, right?”

"..yes, she did"

"Well...before I met her...someone that I admired...changed and never came back to be herself again...I was sad and cry so many times...but then after a few weeks since then... I met Ali. She came from the robotic  department to  the vet deparment because they needed us to work together for a proyect....you may not belive it, but i fell in love at first sight when  I saw her. That day like a train  the love and truth hit me...It was my time to move on and I did...and now I finished my major...I got a work really fast when I finished and I have a grilfriend who I'm proud...maybe it's your signal to move on" 

"Yeah, maybe it is....but just for today I want to torn everything apart, make a tantrum and feel miserable because I lost a friend...just today" "Yes, but at least you have a cup of cocoa"

"hahaha...I know the reason Ali fell for you...You're a sweet guy"

"...hehehe...You're making me blush...hehehe...same as you. I know why Jumin fell for you...you are really honest"

After that, you kept silence with Jumin jacket on your back, a cup of delicous cocoa and a sweet guy next to you. You cried but the pain was less hurtful. The next day, jumin got up and he was ready to take breakfast and go go to work, but  you deciced to repayed  him. So you got up  earlier and cooked the breakfast and a luch box nad evrything was already set on the table. 

"Good morning!..."

"Good mor...ning"

"...amh...I made you the breakfast. I asked the chef what you usually eat in the morning and cooked it...Ah! and I cooked a lunch box too."

".Thank you..."

"...Uyou know, you help me with Salem and...I wasn't fair with you...you told me everything and...I didn't told you everything...*sniff*...I'm sorry...that's why ...just give me a few days...and talk about it, please *sobbing*"

Jumin saw you sobbing and broke, this time he didn't stand only wantching you...he rushed to you and hugged you.

"It's fine"

"No, it's not”

"No, it isn't, but soon it will be"

The following days, you were sad, but after a quite day of work, you began to undertand for real the words from Ali and Yoosung. This time was your oportunity to move on for real. You didn't get anything from Jumin and you really got obsessed adn hurted Jumin adn yourself. Yoosung maybe was rigth,  maybe it was really a signal from god to cut the ties with a lost love and this time you knew what to do. That afternoon, you talked with Jumin about that.

"Jumin, can you fix your day off with mine adn bring me to your villa?"

"Sure, I can do that. Why? If you can be kind to tell me"

"I promise that I'll tell you that day. I just want to go, but this time sober and with daylight"

"...Fine..let me arrage it”

A  day before your day off. You looked for the bag where your wedding dress was with together with all the other stuff wich one you found it on you closet. You thought that maybe Jumin saw what was inside, but for your surprise, it wasn´t like that.  Everything was settled. Jumin was ready on a discreet car, like it was possible for him. You were ready with the bag, a shovel and Salem's ashes that Yoosung gave you. The trip was kinda long, but the distance between you and Jumin was lessen since that day, what it meant you talk about your jobs and made silly jokes, so at the end the trip didn't feel so long.  When finally, you arrived. you took the shovel and begin to dig. Jumin offered his help, but you refused it. Two hours have passed and the hole finally is deep enough. You asked Jumin to help you get out from there and finally you spoke with him.

"Jumin, thank you for all the help you have given me and to surrendered to all my selfish request, but this time I have to it, too. "

"...Sorry, i don't quite understand it"

"I accept your request because I wanted to know why Jihyun left me...but I was hurting myself in the process, that's why I going to show you what I have in the bag”

"No! You must'n. It's personal to you"

"No, Jumin. You were hhonest with me and i have to do the same...so" "...Alright....my time is yours today"

"I have my wedding dress, the wedding ring he gave me, photographs from him and me and that was why I have to bury them together with Salem"

"WHAT?!  What are you doing?! that's important for you!"

"Yes, and for that reason I have to closed this chapter of my life. It's time to move on."