#he's the one who can see John Cena

[femmehusbandyeji]

Mr. Vampire is the only he/him Itzy song for they're singing about a transmasc lesbian so please respect his pronouns and listen to Mr. Vampire cause he's a bop. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk 😭🙏🏽

[readychilledwine]

✨️ACOTAR Booty Headcanons✨️

💕Peep the thigh headcanons here💕

Warnings - Butts. Fanart of butts. Nakey butts. Bubble butts. Lady butts. Man butts.

Up next? ✨️ Hands ✨️

✨️Body Headcanons Masterlist✨️ Master Masterlist ✨️

Edited to add - short plus size Elain sneak peak

A/N - for @lady-of-tearshed, I hope this meets all your dreams, my love.

A message from Mother - You, my sweet dear reader, are gorgeous as you are. You are real, touchable, and made with imperfections that enhance your beauty and uniqueness. You are a treasure. Do not compare yourself to a single body on this list.

Rhysand-

I like to start off strong..

Rhysand has a very bite-able booty.

He is slightly leaner than Azriel and Cassian, but he still has a firm butt.

Rhysand loves to wear tight slacks, just to watch your pretty little brain go blank when you see his ass.

He sleeps naked and it's hard for you not to just.. touch the booty.

To be fair, he loves to keep his hand (and hand print) on your butt, too.

Art by Amai actually just posted Rhysand butt fanart. Enjoy it below

Cassian-

John Cena has been described as having a military grade ass with an inhuman body.

Cassian also has an inhuman body, so it makes sense that my guy has a military grade ass.

Cassian has butt muscles in places you didn't even know you could have butt muscles.

It is intimidating. Very intimidating.

But you LOVE watching this man walk. Especially when he's walking to the bathroom to grab towels for aftercare.

Azriel-

Azriel's ass surprised you in the best way.

Azriel is lean compared to Cassian, so his bubble butt shocked you.

Much firm. Still jiggle.

You were ready for this jelly.

Azriel gets super shy when you tell him how good his butt looks, but he's like that one friend who secretly loves it and makes sure to wear the same pants/skirt/shorts the next time they see you so you are in love with their deliciousness again.

Sometimes, you just sneak up on Azriel and accidentally squeeze. In front of his family. But don't worry. He squeezes yours back.

Tamlin-

I'm disappointed I can't find this gif when I need it.

We can all hate on Tamlin as much as we want, but SJM herself says the man is muscular.

I imagine Tamlin was worried about his arms and chest being thicker than his legs, so he started hitting legs and glutes hard.

Then, the next thing he knows, he has a damn shelf.

He hates when you touch his butt though. He'd prefer you touch him other places.

But you bet your ass he is touching yours

Lucien-

I stand by Lucien having Chris Hemsworth's body type.

Lucien had the perfect, truly bite-able ass.

You constantly have your hand in his back pocket.

You constantly are giving it a little smack so it jiggles.

You always walk behind him.

Lucien loves the way you worship his body. He's insecure about his scars, so you loving every inch of him helps.

Eris-

Daddy 🫠🫠

Eris has the captain America Dorito proportions build, and I hope all of you know *exactly* what I am talking about.

I imagine Eris as slim muscular, and when I decided to do these, I needed him to have Chris Evans's ass

I mean look at it

Imagine that ass in Eris's finely tailored clothing.

Imagine that ass getting off a horse.

You're touching him. Constantly. And he loves it.

He loves that you seem to think he's some sort of God.

And he really loves it when you touch his butt because you begged him to treat you as his equal, meaning that ass of yours is in his hands quickly.

Helion-

You know when a guys thighs are so thick they become one with his dump truck? Helion.

He actually requires a CDL for his ass.

You can't really tell until he's naked and turns around due to the thickness of his thighs, but this male has ass for days.

And his ass is FIRM. There is not an ounce of fat on him.

He considers his ass a trophy of sorts, so touching it is only for those privileged to.

Luckily you have that privilege.

Oh, look.. I included the Archeron sisters

Feyre-

Don't accuse me of doing our girl dirty, but I picture Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit when I think of Feyre's body.

The reason you can't accuse me of doing her dirty is because the things I'd do if Halle Berry told me to do them are extreme.

I picture Feyre as very lean, very cut, and she had the cutest baby bubble butt.

She's definitely the friend who thinks she has no booty until you help her find the right outfit for the booty.

She also blushes whenever you touch it.

She wishes it was bigger sometimes, but a few spanks in, and she's telling you she's perfect as she is.

I wish I could find a better picture of this 🫠

Nesta-

Nesta I also picture as tight and lean.

For some reason when I read her, I picture Adriana Lima, but with blonde hair.

Maybe it's because I think Nesta has sultry vibes?

Nesta tries to keep herself small. It's ingrained deeply into her head because of her mother and grandmother that she has to be small.

She's also constantly training, so it keeps her tight.

She may not have the biggest ass, but that thing is the best apple you've bit

Elain-

If you don't know by now, you're about to: elain at minimum is slim thick.

I personally see truly happy glowing elain as mid to plus size, and I'm hoping for mid to plus size elain once this stupid shipwar is over.

Right now, though, elain is slimthick.

She's still recovering from her spicy sadness days, and her recovery has her doing squats in the garden

Ass. For. Days.

It's why she actually doesn't wear pants. She tried once and every almost had a collective mass failure heart attack.

So now, her booty is reserved for you and you alone.

You love it when she wears cheeky things in the bedroom.

I imagine elain is super into impact play because she loves the way you compliment her recoil.

I think she's secretly proud of her booty. She just doesn't want anyone else to know. So sssshhhh.

General Taglist:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys @lilah-asteria @fandomrejects @sleepybesson @tayswhp

[ao3cassandraic]

Kayfabe: A Good Omens meta

"Kayfabe," in wrestling, is the performance (including outside the wrestling ring) of whatever storyline is being woven around the wrestlers. Breaking kayfabe is Serious Business for a wrestler; the illusion is part of the event. If you ever wondered how John Cena could anchor an entire HBO miniseries brilliantly, kayfabe is a big part of the answer.

Because of their histories and how their respective Head Offices treat them, Crowley and Aziraphale approach their version of kayfabe -- their whole "I am an angel! You are a demon! We're hereditary enemies!" schtick, also their "we are good bad proper little footsoldiers, honest, Boss" schtick to their respective Head Offices -- very, very differently.

I promise there's a point to this. I PROMISE. But let me walk through it first.

Both of them know that one awkward question to Upstairs at the wrong moment and its Fallsville. Crowley, however, knows a couple of things that Aziraphale doesn't have to:

Punishment isn't just once; in some ways, the Fall is never over. Beelzebub or Hastur can throw you in the Dung Pits whenever, after all, or feed you to a Hellhound, or zap you like an Eric. Crowley's lot do not send rude notes. (s2: we do not know what happened to Crowley after Hell dragged him back at the end of the Resurrectionists 'sode, but I think it safe to say it was not great for Crowley. Litotes: your key to quality meta.)

Downstairs can and does check in -- or drag Crowley Downstairs for a chat and possibly a bit of idle torture -- whenever they feel like it. Downstairs seems pretty disorganized, especially its leadership, so I'd expect ad-hoc surprise inspections from them. Downstairs can invade Crowley's flat's TV, his Bentley's radio, and his very mind to perform those inspections. Crowley is never, ever safe from this. He can't relax. Ever.

Heaven, on the other hand, has 37 levels of scriveners and zero interest in Earth. Talk of "reprimands" and "miracle budgets" and Michael being a stickler and whatnot suggests a formal review process happening on a schedule, governed largely by the dreaded (but quite possibly fake-able or spinnable) "paperwork" rather than direct observation by Aziraphale's peers or superiors. Otherwise, Aziraphale is usually left to his own devices. Remember how startled he is when Gabriel shows up at the sushi restaurant in s1? This is unusual!

(We also know from Muriel that Heaven's records office doesn't seem to get consulted a whole lot. It's possible this just means that first-through-thirty-sixth-level scriveners handle everything, but in my experience of large bureaucracies, it's the folks at the bottom of the hierarchy who invariably get run off their feet first. Don't see why Heaven would be any different.)

Moreover, Heaven's punishments seem pretty light, on the whole? Our angel is so anxious and so sensitive to slights that I'm sure the reprimands aren't fun, and nobody likes a reduced miracle budget... but Heavenly "needs improvement" reviews don't seem to be a patch on the Dung Pits. The real threat is Falling, which is more than horrible enough to serve as deterrent; Heaven doesn't need to add torments.

Moreover moreover, Aziraphale is mostly aligned with his Head Office in a way that Crowley really, really isn't. I'm sure Aziraphale does a lot of his Heaven assignments with a song in his heart and a skip in his step -- it's mostly not smiting or the like. Crowley... probably spends a lot of his work time figuring out how to obey the letter of Hellish law while defying its spirit. Crowley's in far more danger of angering his bosses.

So Aziraphale doesn't have to keep up kayfabe a lot of the time, not even while interacting with Crowley. He can and does save it for the rare occasions Heaven takes a personal interest. Crowley, however, must keep up kayfabe always, whether Aziraphale's there or not. The courage it must have taken that snake to slither up the wall of Eden!

The way Crowley navigates his permanent need for kayfabe is twofold. First, his all but instinctive refusal to accept any positive word or compliment about himself or his actions from anyone ever -- "I'M NOT NICE!" If Hell were ever to hear someone characterizing Crowley that way... That's also why Crowley is a bit less exercised when Jimbriel calls him nice: "nobody'll ever believe you."

Second, a species of Orwellian doublethink: maintaining a running commentary in his head of how he's going to justify any unHellish actions to Hell, since he can never know exactly when he'll have to or what exactly they'll have a bug up their butt (sorry, Beez) about. Even high as a kite on laudanum in the Edinburgh cemetery, Crowley can explain his current justification (in a curiously sober voice -- is Crowley ever really high in that scene? or is it all kayfabe? I lean toward kayfabe) to Aziraphale, "Not kind! Off my head on laudanum, not responsible for my actions."

We can see the kayfabe mismatch play out a few times, and it does appear that Aziraphale gets more concerned for Crowley's safety and more aware of Crowley's need for kayfabe post-Arrangement. That doesn't mean he always remembers, of course -- he wouldn't, he just doesn't have that same desperate need. And, of course, the ineffable walnuts do not communicate, as s2 went to some lengths to point out. I do think kayfabe is part of that -- it's hard for Crowley to be sincere when he's constantly doublethinking, and Aziraphale's off-and-on involvement with kayfabe (and all his other tendencies toward lying) disincline him to achieve or even learn about honest communication.

One s1 scene I went back and rewatched while thinking about this was the Globe scene, which contains Aziraphale's Saint-Peter-esque three-time denial of Crowley. I find it easy now to read that as Aziraphale going "oh crap do I need to drop back into kayfabe now? I didn't break kayfabe, did I?" and Crowley grinning, at least partly as reassurance. (Partly, of course, because Aziraphale is cute and funny even when kayfabing -- and partly because Aziraphale's sudden drop into kayfabe is Aziraphale trying to protect Crowley, of course Crowley's pleased by that.)

The wall pin, now that I think about it, also gains a little nuance from this. Crowley's fear-laced ire is genuine, but how many times must Aziraphale have heard Crowley snarl at him not to break kayfabe in this way? No surprise he's a little unimpressed. (With Crowley's demand. He's clearly very impressed by Crowley.)

In the s2 Job minisode, Aziraphale hilariously drops kayfabe (and that epic whole-body halo, loved that, great job FX folks) almost immediately. Crowley allows it, because Crowley is on firm ground -- Hell will be just fine with Crowley wrapping the angel in a Chuck-Jones-cartoon amount of scroll parchment and flipping him off.

When angel and demon collude on the con later, of course, they observe kayfabe, improv-style -- Crowley helps Aziraphale deal with the Job's-children situation without giving either of them away to the watching angel posse. Interestingly, it's Aziraphale who de-gecko-izes the kids. That gives Crowley an out, sort of: "look, the mansion collapse missed them because they were in the cellar, I turned them into geckos, totally Hellish thing to do, they'd never survive in the wild, but then this bloody interfering angel went and changed them back!"

And how does Crowley console a distraught angel who thinks he's about to be dragged to Hell? Crowley explains kayfabe in the fewest and clearest words possible. "Well, yeah, you did, but... I'm not going to tell anybody. Are you?"

So yeah. That's kayfabe for the Ineffable Walnuts.

But I promised there was a point to this, didn't I? Yes, I have a point.

My point is...

my POINT is...

my point IS...

(not dolphins, not this time)

My point is, how much of s2's Final Fifteen Minutes is kayfabe?

That's my point.

[kintaroworldz]

Cody Rhodes x Husband Male reader

hey guys I haven’t posted in sometime so I thought why not post a short story before I start the | x feminine Male reader |.

Because of Cody winning at WrestleMania why not make a story about him fucking his Husband hard after the match as a special gift for him?.

so with out further of do enjoy this short story

Cody was at his limit Jimmy Uso just superkicked him being in this battle Cody knew Roman would need help to try to beat him so Cody came prepared.

Next thing you know Jey Uso music hits and Jey starts running towards the ring while Jimmy was running towards his brother to stop him which leads to Jey and Jimmy brawling. Jey takes Jimmy to the top of the stage and superkicks Jimmy and Spears him off the stage which leads both of them to crash into a table.

Taking the opportunity of the distraction Cody rolls up Roman for the two count. Roman not happy with this goes and try’s to spear Cody but Cody dodges the spear and goes for the triple cross rhodes while getting ready to hit the third cross rhodes Solo Sikoa hits Cody with the Soman Spike.

Then out of nowhere John Cena theme hits and Cena runs into the ring and hits attitude adjustment on Roman and throws Solo out of the ring and Removes the Commentary table cover off and attitude adjustments Solo through the table.

Then just when Cody thought his troubles were done The Rocks theme hits and everyone goes cold and freezes Cena goes back into the ring and faces The Rock. Cena tells The Rock “ You can’t see me “ which leads to The Rock hitting Rock bottom on Cena.

Then The Rock grabs the Belt that he attacked Cody with weeks ago and goes to hit him with it but then the UnderTaker theme hits and the lights go off. The Rock waiting for him to come out turns and faces UnderTaker The Rock goes to hit Taker with the belt but Taker grabs the Rocks throat and ChockSlames Rock.

The Lights go off and turn back on to reveal that everyone is gone only Cody and Roman left Roman gets Tired of the games and gets ready and sets up for the spear. Roman roars while the crowd follows suit Roman then goes to spear Cody but Cody reverses and knees Roman in the face. Cody then possessions Roamn for the cross Rhodes and hits the triple cross Rhodes on Roman and pins him.

“ One… Two…. Three… “ Cody could not believe he had finished his story he did the impossible and dethroned Roman Reigns

Cody sees all his friends come and celebrate with him. Then his husband theme hits Cody sees his husband come out and into the ring.

M/N hugs Cody and kisses him “ you did it babe “ M/N says.

“ finally I did it M/N thanks for believing in me babe “ Cody says back

M/N leans into Cody ear and whispers “ when we get back home you can have me all you want in anyway you want “

Cody smirks and whispers back “ oh really? Well babe be ready to not be able to walk cause I’m going to fuck you so hard I’ll have you moaning my name and I’ll have you’re hole full of my cum “

M/N blushes. Cody and M/N walk backstage Triple H congrats Cody for his win. Cody holds a party for his win.

It’s been awhile since the party and all that’s being heard in the giant mansion of Cody and M/N Rhodes House is loud moans and grunts.

“ Oh fuc-k-k ye-s-s daddy ~ “ M/N moans

“ you like that huh? My little slut? “ Cody asks M/N

“ Y-Es-s~ daddy ye-s-s~ destroy my hole fill me up with your cum PLEASE~ “ M/N moans

“ yeah you want me to fill you up with my cum? Beg me baby “ Cody says

“ Pleasse~ daddy fill me up “ M/N moans out

“ who’s you’re champion baby? Who is it? “ Cody ask M/N

“ you are you are you are~ “ M/N repeats over and over again while Cody hits his prostate over again

“ daddy I’m gonna cum please let me cum please please please ~ “ M/N moans and begs

“ FUCK~ I’m gonna cum baby you ready? “ Cody groans

“ YES GIVE IT TO ME DADDY~ “ M/N shouts

“ shit here it comes “ Cody says with his final hard thrust into M/N

Cody holds M/N tight while he fills M/N with his cum. They both lay back down on the bed and stay in the same position.

“ just wait a minute babe I want to stay in you still “ Cody says

“ Alright it’s ok babe “ M/N

Cody and M/N kiss and finally Cody pulls out watching as his cum leaks out of M/N.

“ damn that’s hot babe “ Cody smirks

M/N kisses Cody again and looks at him “ congrats on finishing you’re story and becoming new undisputed champion “ M/N says.

“ Thanks babe and you know if it weren’t for you motivating me to not give up I probably wouldn’t have had that match “ Cody says

“ no problem champ anyways we should probably shower and go to bed? “ M/N says

“ let’s just stay like this naked in the bed cuddled together “ Cody says to M/N

“ and plus who says I’m done yet? “ Cody smirks at M/N.

| OMG GUYS I promise I’ll get the feminine male reader story stared soon I just didn’t want to lead you guys hanging with no post so this little smut story is a little filler till I do the first chapter of the feminine male reader story thanks for you understanding and I’ll see you guys soon bye bye 💕💋 |

[adriswrld]

His Dangerous Wife » LA Knight

plot: la knight's wife comes to even the odds against the judgement day

pairings: wrestler! reader x la knight

warnings: none tbh just fluff

a/n: there isn't enough la knight stuff on here and that makes me sad :(( wrestling last name is kingley bc i love it

It was quite chaotic backstage, making it almost impossible for Y/N to locate her husband. But she found him after a few minutes of searching. He stood with John Cena who was also his tag partner for Fastlane. Y/N didn't have a match, seeing as she was literally returning from an ankle injury that happened at SummerSlam when she lost her championship to Iyo Sky. Y/N Kingley was a crowd favorite, as was her husband LA Knight, but not many people knew they were married, or even together. They lived a very private life so it made sense.

Tonight, she was set to return to help her husband even the odds against the Judgement Day which sparked a future fued between herself and Rhea Ripley. Though LA Knight didn't know of this. "Darling, do you know where Izzy is? I can't find her." Y/N asks, grabbing his attention. Izzy was her best friend, the woman also known as Azalea Evans, the younger sister of Chris Evans and one of the best women's wrestlers. She was also engaged to Rhea Ripley. He furrowed his brows, shaking his head, "Nah, but she should be somewhere around here. Probably with Rhea."

"I think I seen her talking to Cody in catering earlier," John adds. Y/N smiled gratefully, "Thank you. I will see you two later, alright? Good luck with the match darling." She pressed a quick peck on his cheek before quickly making her way towards catering, finding Azalea indeed with Cody. Y/N took a seat at their table, "one thing I do not miss about being back is getting lost backstage all the time." Azalea chuckles at her complaint, "honestly, I'm pretty much used to it."

"You would think because I've been wrestling for 20 years that I would be used to this, but I am definitely not." Y/N mumbled, picking up a brownie from Izzy's plate. Izzy chuckled before glancing at the television where LA Knight's match with Jimmy Uso was coming up. Cody cleared his throat, "so, how do we feel about Jade signing with WWE?" Izzy and Y/N were former AEW wrestlers so they knew Jade quite well. Though they had actually never faced Jade yet. They knew how she felt with all the top tier treatment because that's how they were treated when signing with AEW having been originally WWE stars.

"I'm really excited about it actually. I'm super happy for her. I can't wait to face her." Y/N said, she was always happy for any of the wrestlers who got signed to other companies. Izzy nods in agreement, "Me too. She actually called me after she signed so I'm really excited for her. We're supposed to train together soon." Cody nods with a smile, "I feel the same way. I'm excited to see what she can do here."

"His match is starting so we should head to the gorilla." Izzy stood up, the three of them left towards the gorilla where the Judgement Day and Jey Uso were at. Izzy was quick to greet Rhea whilst Y/N was watching the monitors. LA Knight obviously wins, but then Judgement Day comes out, standing on the ring apron, leaving Knight and Cena outnumbered. Jey Uso was the first to come out, sliding in the ring though they were still very outnumbered. Cody's music hit, he was quick to come out.

Rhea jumps on the apron next to her boys, signaling that they weren't gonna back down. That's when Y/N's music hit. The crowd went crazy, obviously not expecting her to show up at all, let alone for a situation such as this. "It's Y/N Kingley! She's back! What a surprise!" Michael Cole' expressed. Y/N strutted out, Rhea's face dropped at the sight of her. Meanwhile, her husband was in disbelief, a small grin tugged at the corner of his lips. "Rhea is in disbelief! Y/N has expressed her frustration with the Judgement Days attempts to recruit her best friend Azalea Evans!" Corey Graves explains.

"That and the fact that the Judgement Day is targeting her husband LA Knight," Cole points out. "Her husband?! She's married?!" Cody Rhodes and John Cena sat on the middle rope for Y/N to step through, the Judgement Day seemingly conflicted now. She walks past her shocked husband to come face to face with Rhea, a grin on her lips. "Still wanna fight?"

The boys behind her grin as Rhea makes the guys stand down, claiming it wasn't worth it. Paul Heyman takes Solo's hand, signaling him to fall back. Unfortunately for them, Y/N wasn't a patient person. She threw the first hand, knocking Rhea off the apron, the boys are quick to join in the brawl. She grinned, leaning against the rope as Cody and Jey Uso both do separate dives out the ring, knocking down the Judgement Day and Jimmy.

Rhea drags Y/N out of the ring, going back in forth with her as Solo stepped in the ring with John. Y/N was quick to fight off Rhea, throwing her into Dom as LA Knight took care of Solo. LA hits JD with a BFT, then Jey hits him with a super kick before Cena performs a five knuckle shuffle. Y/N slides in the ring as Cena continues to perform an AA on JD. Cody whips off his belt throwing it into the crowd before hitting JD with a crossrhodes.

The boys turn to her, basically offering up JD if she wanted a go at him. She laughs, shaking her head but they insisted. "Come on! It can't hurt! Well not for you at least." Cody says. Y/N chuckled, giving in the crowd cheers. LA Knight offers his hand, she takes it, using it to jump off the rope and perform a clean moonsault onto JD. "And a perfectly done moonsault from Kingley!"

"Yeahh!" LA Knight cheered, taking her hand and pulling his wife up. "That was fun!" She cheered wistfully, high fiving Jey, Cody, and Cena as LA Knight kept a hand on her waist. The crowd cheered as Cody raised Y/N's hand proudly, "Our wonderful savior!"

LA pulled her closer so she could hear better, "You didn't tell me you were coming out." Y/N chuckled, "cause it was a surprise darling. Did it surprise you love?" He laughs lightly, nodding like it was obvious, and it was. "Surprised me so much I could kiss you right about now." He jokes, also being partially serious because he really wished he could kiss her.

She shrugged lightly, "you can kiss me, I don't mi-" she was cut off by his lips pressed against hers and very loud cheering from the fans. He didn't waste a second kissing her, not caring about the thousands of fans watching. She chuckles softly pulling away, quick to remind him that they were still in public. "Come on, let's close up." Y/N climbs the top rope, doing her normal taunt as LA Knight, Jey Uso, Cody, and Cena all followed behind her.

Shaun was quick to drag her into the locker room the second the show was over. Not even giving her a chance to talk as he showered her with kisses. "Shouldn't we go to the hotel first?" She chuckles, pulling away. "What? Scared of a little locker room sex, doll?" He teased, rubbing her sides as he held back to urge to tear her clothes off.

Y/N sucked in a breath, "fuck, you know what that name does to me." He smirked, pressing a kiss to her neck as she pushed him towards the showers. "I should save your ass more often if this is the reward I get in return."

"Yeah."

[blackterrae]

Ideas for Black!Reader Fic

I am going to try my hand again at writing. And I wanted to share some people and fandoms that I love. If you don’t know these shows/actors/franchises/movies/streamers I’m putting you on! For the following:

Princess Bride

Alice In Borderland

Johnny Depp- All his characters

Napoleon Dynamite

Cameron Monaghan- I know that there are fics out there but it’s only always his Jerome/Jeremiah roles never just him or Cal Kestis

Anthony Carrigan- I loved Anothy as Victor Zsasz

Paul Dano- There are Riddler fics but not as many for his other roles

Damsel

The Entire Cast of Hawaii Five-0 (2010) - Don’t even get me started on how good this show is! And the cast looks amazing!

Chicago Med/Fire/PD- These shows have so much potential for fanfic storylines!

The Game (2006)- Has great potential for slow burns and fluffs.

Star Wars franchise (1977-present) - I know I said Cal Kestis but there are also other characters like Anakin, Luke, Obi Wan,Boba Fett (etc.)

NCIS franchise- I honestly love this franchise and it’s characters!

Hamilton

Any/All Sports Men- Jude Bellingham,Lewis Hamilton,LaMelo Ball,Allen Iverson(etc.)

Berleezy - He’s handsome and he’s funny!

Coryxkenshin- I literally love him and his videos!

Albert Aretz (Flamingo)- Look … he may be the epitome of mediocre white man but I like what I like!

AMP- Duke Dennis, Kai Cenat, Agent 00, ChrisNxtDoor,Davis, and Fanum ( all I gotta say is love a black man from infinity to infinity🗣️)

Beta Squad- A British YouTube/ streamer group!

SOMEBROS- Berleezy, Rico, ,PG, Joe (etc.)

WWE- come on now, do I even need to explain!!!

Four Brothers- All the cast but Garrett Hedland in particular!

Peacemaker - Don’t get me wrong I love Adrian Chase but I want to see just as much Peacemaker x black!reader fics because 2 words… JOHN CENA

MAWS- New animated Superman show! Love!

Smallville - The entire cast is hot! Tbh I fell hard for Tom Welling when I was younger when he was in Cheaper By The Dozen. Plus they literally whitewashed Vixen. COME ON! Vixen is a black female hero btw. She was also with Jon (Green Lantern) at one point.

Justice League/Justice League Unlimited (2001 and 2004)- I mean I literally can’t find any Jon Stewart x black!reader fics and he was with a BLACK WOMAN!

Warner Bros Franchise (minus the looney tunes & space jam)- There are lots of popular franchises that this company has from Fast & Furious to The Matrix!

Peaky Blinders- Saw a Tommy shelby x arms dealer black!female reader fic on my previous account but even then I couldn’t find it again on that account. So it’s gone with the wind. And the cast (i.e the actors and other characters they’ve portrayed). Example: Cillian Murphy as Johnathan Crane.

The Bear

FBI (All)

The good doctor

Tiktokers: Vinnie hacker

Blue Bloods

Will Poulter- I haven’t really seen any Adam Warlock fics

Slashers

Stranger Things

Cruel Intentions

Burnt

Dave Lizewski

Eddie Redmayne

Macgyver (2016)

Fresh Prince of Belair

Guardians of the galaxy- Explanation? Do I really need one?

On My Block

Descendants (characters will be the actors age in real life.duh)- Love Boo-boo Stewart & Mitchell Hope!

Matt Rife

Joey Bragg (Liv &Maddie) - What can I say I love dorks!

The Boys- Haven’t seen that many fics about the characters and a black reader

Once Upon A Time- I love dark fairytales sometimes because they remind me that not every story has a happy ending and you have to learn from them. But this series is good for any theme really.

Walker Texas Ranger (1993)

Top Gun

Nicolas Galitzine

Magcon: Whether you saw their vines on YouTube or vine, you know who they are

Dolan Twins

Mission Impossible

Euphoria- Entire show has great storylines with the potential of drama in fics

Shameless- Especially Carl Gallagher and Lip Gallagher

Creed- Michael B Jordan need I say more

Keanu Reeves- There are very few fics about Keanu but I’ve seen a few of his John Wick x black!reader fics (chef’s kiss) but never see any of The Matrix Fics!Also Ted (Bill & Ted)

River Phoenix

Batman Beyond

Rider Strong

Danny Gonzalez

Timothée Chalamet

New York Undercover

Past-Present Singers & Rappers/ Groups -Bow Wow, Tupac, Lil Baby, Nelly, Omarion, Prince, Michael Jackson, Jon B,Usher, Central Cee, Måneskin, New Edition, BTS, James, PRETTYMUCH Bay, Daniel Caesar, October London, Steve Lacey, Artemas, YUNGBLUD, Andy Biersack,Eduardo Vega(etc.)

Anime(Any kind!)- Would love to see other shows, I know hunterxhunter,aot,one piece (etc.)

Bridgerton- There is very little Bridgerton stories catered around a black reader.

Marvel- Now that’s not to say that there aren’t any in fact there are many but I never see (Tobey Maguire Spider-Man stories and it seems like everyone tends to focus on the famous Marvel characters like The Avengers but not on other aspects like X-men or better yet, heroes that haven’t even gotten their own movie but are just as amazing like Squadron Supreme , it’s equivalent to DCU’s Justice League.

Secret Invasion- Not gonna lie , I’m feening for Gravik.😳

DCEU- Another franchise that pushes its other characters to the side. For example, Hush (Thomas Elliot) is literally the epitome of Bruce Wayne gone bad!

Ross Lynch- There are so many roles that Ross did so well in Like Teen Beach Movie or Sabrina.

Highschool Musical Franchise (2006- present ) I’m not just talking about HSMTS (2019), I mean even further back than that. I don’t see any Troy Bolton x black!reader and that’s crazy. I also can’t find any Zac Efron x black!reader

Interview with a Vampire (1994) and (2022)

Austin Butler- He did well in his role as Elvis!

Vikings - There are a good amount but still!

Transformers

Suits

Saved By The Bell

The Goldbergs

Parks & Recreation

Leverage

The Outsiders

Heart of Stone

New York Undercover (1994)

Addams Family

Victorious

Matpat

ICarly

The Real Bros of Simi Valley (2017)

Think Like A Man (2012)

One on One (2001)

Scorpion (2014)

The King of Queens (1998)

G.I. Joe Franchise

Terminator

Beware the Batman (2013)

Any and all Asian Idols/Actors

Seal Team

Mortal Combat

Bill and Ted

Barbie

Detroit: Become Human

Will Trent

Bones

Tokyo Vice

Growing Pains

Graceful Family (Kdrama)[Any Asian Drama shows or movies would be great as well]

The Regime

Batman: The animated series

The Sympathizer

The Invitation

Jawbreaker

Hunger Games

Saved By the Bell

Eve (2003)

Yellowstone

Superstore

Rodrick Heffley

Tracker

Girlfriends

Grown-ish

CSI

Kingsman

Jury Duty

Scoot Pilgrim vs the world

21 Jump Street

If anyone needs ideas for these franchises/movies/shows/actors , then holla at me! I got you!

Also add more to the list if anything that you would like to see comes to mind.

Also tag black writers who you want to see this!

@sheabuttahwrites @shinsouscatpisssmell @cocoamoonmalfoy @heathenarmyimagines @cinewhore @cocoamoonmalfoy @stxxllaaa @glitterjuju @lilvampirina @breanime @blackmissfrizzle @afro-hispwriter @stargirlfics @lavenderursa @clydesducktape @pettyprocrastination @theblvckvenus @plantvenuss @punani @n-slayaaaaa @infernalodie @halfofmysoulsblog @iridecsense @tomhardydallasstarsgirl @supremethunda @thekrazykeke @canumoveurseatup-no @hiatuswhore @avintagekiss24 @ohcaptains @iguessweallcrazyithinktho @xsapphirescrollsx @sunflowertuliplily @bakarilennox @batfamily14 @ramp-it-up @blackreaders-assemble @royallyprincesslilly @funnyexel @blackterrae @slashisms @artemisthewh0re @shelbydelrey @toocriticalharlow @v-era-18 @vampsired @queenimmadolla @sinnerlillith @greengoblinswifey @apocalypse-shuffle

[our-marvel-universe]

Fitness

Pairing: Ari x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: You are planning to cancel you're gym membership but then you meet Ari

WC: 1.6K

A/N: This is for Navy & Roo's @the-slumberparty this was from a generator or prompt list before the challenge actually started. My prompt was Active.

That's it you were done. All the new year, new you nonsense was over.

You used to spend so much time setting resolutions, unrealistic ones at that, not meeting them and then beating yourself up about it. But you were different now. Thanks to all the work you'd been doing on yourself, mentally and emotionally, you were in a much better place. You were learning to love the body you were in and you wanted to take better care of it. No you didn’t have any weight loss goals. What you wanted was to move your body in ways that felt good. To build up your strength and endurance. You wanted to be stronger and you couldn’t do that if you were feeling self conscious in a gym full of people.

Once you realized it was the gym itself that made you nervous you found alternative ways to work out. You’d started working out at home with short YouTube videos and were going on lots of walks and even a couple short hikes. Who needs those fancy confusing machines? Not you. Which is why it was time to cancel this membership. To be honest you signed up online last year and never even stepped foot in the place. It was an unnecessary expense, but not anymore!

Unfortunately they wouldn’t let you cancel online so you are here to do it in person. Maybe as a treat you’ll go out nice for dinner. After all, you'll have an extra $35 bucks a month in your pocket once you got this sorted.

Going up to the door you're almost knocked over by some gym bro rushing out. Yuck . This is exactly why you are leaving too much testosterone.

As you enter you take in the place there is pop music playing over the speakers. Lots of cardio machines and weight machines and of course free weights. But there's something about this place that's different. You expected to see an endless sea of muscle tees and hear lots of grunting from John Cena looking guys. Or smaller guys who imagined they could look like John Cena if they tried hard enough. But today in this gym there were a lot of women. A curious number in fact since there was a women's only gym on the other side of town. At least you thought there was.

Huh, maybe it closed. Shrugging to yourself you start to make your way to the front desk.

On your way you pass what you assume to be the smoothie bar. Behind which a handsome dark skin man with bright eyes and an easy smile is making drinks for about 5 different women. Huh, maybe you’ll grab something on the way out.

You’re waiting at the front desk for someone to help you. You would go ask smoothie guy but he’s clearly preoccupied…

“Hi, can I help you?”

Turning around every thought you had drifts out of your head as you lock eyes with what could only be a beautiful figment of your imagination. 6’2” maybe 6’3” shaggy brown hair and a thick beard. You’ve never really been into beards before but he might change that.

“Are you alright? Can I help you with something?”

Ok so you didn’t cancel your membership. In fact you had signed up for personal training sessions. You didn’t plan on it but you and Ari got to talking; he was so kind and patient when you told him about your concerns. How you weren’t sure how to use the machines and didn’t know which workouts to do. You couldn’t believe you were being so bold and honest with him, but you’re glad you were.

After you confessed everything to him he offered you 3 complimentary personal training sessions with him. Since you didn’t like the crowds he offered to meet you later in the evening after the post work rush. On your first session with him Ari took you through every machine in the gym and taught you how to use them. He’s been nothing but kind, encouraging and supportive ever since you met.

“Great work!” Ari said as you finished your last rep.

You’ve been working with Ari for about 2 months now, doing 1 private session a week and coming another 3 times on your own. Working out was officially a part of your regular routine, and you were in the best shape of your life! You could feel yourself getting stronger and your confidence was obviously growing.

Private sessions or not, Ari always seemed to find you. You had a sneaking suspicion he was going out of his way to talk to you. In fact this session tonight was an extra. Usually you meet with him on Mondays but he said he had a cancellation and offered you a Friday slot as well.

“You did amazing today!” Ari said before wrapping you up in one of his big bear hugs and spinning you around.

“Me? I couldn’t have done any of this without your help”

“No, no way I just guided you a bit here and there you’re the one who put in all the hard work.”

Ari was always saying things like that, how strong you are, how dedicated, how beautiful. If it was anyone else you’d think they were sucking up so you would keep coming back, but Ari? He was being nothing but sincere.

He’s still holding onto you, your arms are wrapped around each other, and he's looking down at you with his beautiful blue eyes, and he’s so tall you have to tilt back your head so you can meet his intense gaze. The moment is heavy and you start to think that maybe…

There's a loud bang in the gym, probably someone dropping the squat rack on the ground too hard. But the sound breaks the tension. Ari clears his throat and takes a rather large step away from you. “

Seriously great work today, why don’t you head home, I can clean up here.” He says as he starts to wipe down the equipment you were using.

“Ohh um sure, I’ll head out then. I’ll see you next week?”

“Yeah definitely!”

As soon as you turn off and head to the locker room Ari is kicking himself. Christ, there goes yet another opportunity to ask you out and he botched it..again! The guys keep bothering him about it, apparently the entire gym staff knows he’s harboring the world's biggest crush on you. And all the extra pressure from his staff is not helping his nerves.

Ari has never in his life had a hard time talking to women but something about you, he gets so tongue tied and nervous it’s not like him at all. A minute ago when the two of you were standing there wrapped in each other's arms, God it felt so good to hold you like that it took all his strength not to lean down and kiss you. But then he chickened out of course. Ughh he’s got to think of a plan. Maybe it would be easier if he just texted you…? No he’d rather do it in person, like a gentleman, he just didn’t know what he was going to say.

Ari’s at the front desk with Sam, one of the other trainers. The gym is usually slow on Friday nights so the two of them just have to wait for the few stragglers that are here to finish their workouts and then they’ll head home.

He thought you might have left already but you stroll up to the desk looking absolutely lovely in a different outfit than when you came in.

“Hi” You say smiling at him “Hey Sam” You acknowledge the man next to him.

Sam gives a quick “Hey” back before giving Ari a gentle nudge and heading to the other side of the desk so he can look busy with paperwork while still eavesdropping.

“Hi, did you need something before you go?”

“No, actually I wanted to ask you something,” You take a deep breath before verbalizing the question that’s been burning on your tongue for weeks, “Would you like to go out with me sometime?”

For a split second Ari is convinced he heard you wrong. For a moment he’s convinced this is one of his many fantasies about you, but he quickly recovers and gives the only logical answer.

“Yes, yes I would love to go out with you.” His smile is so wide it almost hurts, and you have an equally wide grin across your face. You try to reign it in just a little bit. Right now you have the overwhelming urge to squeal and jump around but you’re pretty sure that might make Ari change his mind.

Calming your inner turmoil you look to him and say “Great well, I don’t know if you’re free this weekend at all but...”

“Actually he’s free right now” Sam interrupts.

“You sure man?”

“Yeah, I’m sure, we close in an hour anyway, you two go out and have a good time” Sam waves the two of you off.”

“OK it looks like I’m free now” Ari says with a chuckle. “If that works for you?”

“Yes, that definitely works!”

“Ok, there's a really good Mexican place right up the street. We could walk there if you want?”

“Mexican sounds perfect.”

“Ok then, after you.” He says as he gestures for you to lead the way. You head towards the door figuring he’ll catch up. Ari steps around to the front of the desk wrapping his knuckles on it before whispering a quick “thank you” to Sam. With his long legs he catches up to you quickly and by the time you make it out the front door the two of you are holding hands as you leisurely stroll to your destination.

Thanks so much for reading!! Don't forget to leave a comment and let me know what you think.

Have an awesome day! <3

[melanatedeuph0ria]

my initial thoughts on the bear s3 (having only gotten to ep 5)

im not even mad ab the whole sydcarmy breakdown in s3 rn I’m just like disappointed because what the fuck man

I’m only on ep 5 and I’m not gonna lie to y’all if this was as good and actually interesting as season 2 I’d be eating it up and binging that shit as much as I did last year. Well now I rlly can’t because I just HAD to rewatch the show w my parents so now that means I have to wait until they’re in the mood to watch it to watch it with them so I don’t feel like I’m betraying them for watching episodes on my own (mostly my mom tbh) but like ts is NOT speaking to me man

like I NEVER use “man” at the end of my sentences like that only when I’m actually exasperated and fucking tired of the shit something or somebody is pulling

Like FROM WHAT IVE SEEN this season has only showed me that like OKAY I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE FAKS IM JUST SEEING THEM WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH LIKE…WHY IS JOHN CENA HERE STOP TRYING TO MAKE SHIT INTERESTING BY INSERTING RANDOM FUCKING CELEBRITIES INTO YO SHIT FIRST OF ALL

SECONDLY I’m pissed with how CARMY IS TREATING MY BEAUTIFUL BLACK QUEEN PRINCESS DUCHESS SYDNEY

Like what happened man 😕

It was legitimately going so so so SO WELL IN SEASON TWO

LIKE I HAD HOPE INDISPUTABLE HOPE ABOUT THEM GETTING TOGETHER

LIKE HUH

but then this WHITE MAN has the nerve to treat her like GARBAGE

FIRST FROM GETTING INTO A FIGHT WITH RICHIE FOR NO FUCKING REASON CAUSING RICHIE TO FALL OVER AND SPILL ALL OF THE HARD EXPO ORDER WORK SYDNEY WAS WORKING ON

LIKE I WOULD HAVE BEEN GONE BYE RESTAURANT WITH NO FUCKING SIGN ON THE FRONT LIKE WHO DO YALL THINK YALL AREEE

ALSO I FIND IT DISRESPECTFUL AS HELL

DISRESPECTFUL THAT THIS NIGGA IS ASKING HER “WHAT DO I DO WITH CLAIRE???” LIKE LMAO WHY NOBODY GIVE A FUCK

I THINK IM MOVING TO THE SIDE OF THE ARGUMENT THAT SYDNEY DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS MAN

AND I WIULDVE THOUGHT HE WOULDVE BEEN AT LEAST A LITTLE, MAYBE A LITTLE MORE GENTLRR WITH HER DURING COOKING TOME OR WHAGEVER TF BUT HE STILL JUST AS GORDON RAMSAY-ISH WITH HER LIKE WITH ANYONE

WTF DID WE DO STORER

LIKE WHY R U BEING A BITCH ABOUT SYDCARMY SHIPPERS LIKE U JUST PUT A BIG ASS HOLE IN THEIR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP

LIKE OKAY THEY DONT HAVE TO GET TOGEHRHER WHATEVER IF THEY DONT ILL STILL BE PISSED BUT WHATEVER

BUT I FEEL LIKE

UGH IDK

I CAME TO SEE A LIL ROMANCE THE NITTY GRITTY. LIKE EW HOW THE HELL ARE YALL GOING TO BE SHOWING CLAIRE AND CARMY KISSING IN THE DARK LIKE I DONT CARE WHAT TYPE OF WORK SHE DOES I DONT GAF AB WHAT SHE DO FOR WORK LIKE I APPRECIATE HER BEING A NICE PERSON TO THESE KIDS AND STUFF BUT CMON

CARMY AINT CALL HER NOT ONCE THIS WHOLE TIME IVE BEEN WATCHING

RICHIE IS THE ONLY ONE IM FR INTERESTED IN MARCUS TOO BECAUSE HE TRYNA DO SOME EXPERIMENTAL SHIT OUTSIDE OF THIS STRSSSFUL ASS ENVIRONMENT

AND SINCE WHEN DID THEY STILL OPERATE THE BEEF?!? I THOUGHT THEY CLOSED THAT SINCE WHRN IS A BRANCH OF THAT STILL OPERATING AND WHY IS ONLY EBRA IN CHARGE?!?

I THOUGHT THEY BUILT OVER THE RESTAURANT AND TURNED IT INTO WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS NOW I MIGHTA MISSED A PLOT POINT BUT I DONT REMEMBER THAT EVEN BEING SAID

ALSO WHI IS THAT MAN WHO WALTZED INTO THE BEAR REASTUARSNT AND WAS TALKING W CARMY AS HE WAS CUTTING SOME SHIT AND WHO ALSO WAS AT THE WINDOW OF THE BEEF LIKE WHO ARE YOU HO LIKE R U A FAK OR WHAT BITCH

CARMY IS JUST TOO SAME OLD SAME OLD FOR ME LIKE CAN WE PLEASE CHANGE FOR ONCE IN OUR LIVES

LIKE I UNDERSTAND RICHIE ON THE FIRST EP LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO U MEAN UR SORRY WHEN U LITERALLY CALLED ME A LEECH FOR WANTING TO BE INCLUDED IN THIS FAMILY BECAUSE HE DOESNT HAVE ONE TO RLLY CALL HIS OWN?!?!? LIKE CARMY CAN YOU CHILL OUT THIS MAN ACTUALLY LOVES YOU NO PAWSE

from what I’ve watched already its okay NOT TO SAY THE ACTORS ARE BECAUSE THE ACTORS DID AN INCREDIBLE PERFOMANCE AS USUAL LIKE THEIR SKILLS ARE STILL GREAT BUT I DONT LIKE WHAT THEY HAVE YALL DOIN WITH THAT AND ITS PISSING ME AWFF DONT PMOOOOO

ALSO IS IT JUST ME OR DO I FEEL LIKE THE BLACK CHARACTERS ARENT GETTING SHIT THIS SEASON

LIKE MARCUS AND TINA..OKAY OKAY THEY GOT THEY LIL EPISODES

BUT WHAT AB NOW IN THE PRESENT

I THINK WHO IM MAINLY TALKING AB IS SYD, EBRA, AND GARY I DAMN NEAR FORGOT HIS NAME BECAUSE WE NEVER EVER EVERRRR SEE HIM. EVER.

LIKE I ACTUALLY LIKE HIS CHARACTER I WANT TO SEE MORE OF HIM HE SEEMS COOL

okay main points:

* syd deserves better

* syd needs to stop being a lil mean to her dad idk I might be soft but like (it HAD to be said cs why r u being so rude to him for having genuine concerns about this murky ass apartment u finna dig into yo pockets to pay for?? ALSO this sussy ass partnership w this man liiiiiioke…)

* they seemed to care more ab carmys failing and anticlimactic relationship with claire than marcus’s late mother (ALSO I couldn’t help but notice SYDNEY was the only one, THE ONLY ONE who came to support this man as they were cleaning his mom’s hospice equipment out of his house…LIKE YALL HAVE NOTHING TO DO COME HELP??? like okay they came to his funeral which I appreciate y’know but still that part irks me)

* ts feels like filler at its finest somebody already said that but I felt like it had to be restated, like if CLAIRE YO

* IF CLAIRE IS THE MAIN DAMN PLOT POINT FOR THIS NIGGA CARMY RN AND IS THE ONE DRIVING HIM TO DO ALL THIS CRAZY NONNEGOTIABLE SHIT TO GET HIS MIND OFF OF IT IM DONE

* okay I’m done thank y’all for listening

* also I’m writing this on my notes app so I just copied it over

*ok bye y’all ty for listening !!! :3

UPDATE: I just read a few posts on here giving different perspectives and now I feel like I might’ve missed some stuff 😭

like maybe this is just setting it up to LOOK LIKE syd and carmy aren’t ever happening just to make season 4 and have them

idk how to even end that sentence

[fanficwriter101]

CHEATED

Pairing: Solo Sikoa x Reader x Jimmy

Warning: None, some slight smut in the next chapter

Tonight’s episode of Friday night Smackdown is like no other, the reason behind that is the fact that your man Jimmy, is finally getting the spotlight he deserves. Not that he hasn’t been getting any, but he and his twin brother Jey are separated for the first time, so that means they won’t be sharing spotlights no more. You were so excited and happy for him, now he can show his true potential on his own and you’ve never been more proud.

Kicking off the show was none other than Jimmy Uso interrupting the returning John Cena and starting their feud in the process. You watched as the scene unfold between the two male athletes. Jimmy attempted a super kick but fails, and ended up getting an Attitude Adjustment. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t see that coming. Jimmy is now playing as a heel character, and you’re loving every minute of it.

Right beside you stood Solo Sikoa, who is also watching everything unfold. You find it funny that Jimmy just recently left the bloodline, and now he’s trying to weasel his way back in after Jey moved to Raw. So now everybody’s confused, especially Solo.

“just look at him, he is doing so well on his own so far, don’t you think, Joe?” you couldn’t hide your excitement, and it’s honestly kind of embarrassing to you. You felt like you were acting like a teenager in love. Solo didn’t say much, he just observed you with his usual stance. You both weren’t even on camera, so him staying in character makes things funnier for you.

“Oh! Looks like he’s on his way backstage” You did a little dance as you said. Solo merely shook his head. Seeing you act like this has got to be the cutest things he’s ever witnessed. It’s no secret to anyone that Solo likes you, even you know that. But you are dating his older brother so that makes things a little awkward. However, you do cherish him as a friend. You both went through a lot together during your time in the NXT. But when you were moved up to the main roster, you both slowly drifted away, and you ended up getting closer to Jimmy and Jey. Obviously one thing lead to another and here you are, dating Jimmy, for almost a year now.

Your one year anniversary is coming up very soon, you were hoping Jimmy remembers so you guys could do something to celebrate. Just the thought of it makes your heart want to explode.

You were completely lost in thoughts, you failed to realize Solo calling out your name. “Huh?” you snapped out of it and veered your focus on Solo, who is raising an eyebrow at you. “Sorry, I was distracted” You say, until a voice behind you scared you. “Yeah you was” You turned around to find Jimmy smiling down at you and quickly embraced him. “Jon!” “Aye, baby. Did you see me out there?” you pulled away from Jimmy and nodded. “Yes, you kinda got rearranged out there” You joked. Jimmy gave you a funny look, “Rearranged? You sure you was watching? I ain’t got rearranged” He clicked his tongue before smiling. You giggled in response just as Jimmy shifts his focus in his brother. “Aye man” He extended his arm for Solo to shake his hand, but Solo just stood there with that same cold expression and arms crossed.

Jimmy played it off and awkwardly gave himself the handshake. “Aiight aiight. We cool” You merely shook your head at him for being such a goof sometimes. “Anyway, I gotta head back to my locker room and shower real quick and then we can get out of here” He smiled. You nodded in response. “And I’ll be right here, waiting” you grinned. “You aight?” He questioned, clearly a little worried about your energy level. “Couldn’t be better” You let out another toothy grin, this time Jimmy just gives you a funny look and walks away. “I'll be right back”

Solo stood there watching you act like a complete fool of yourself before shaking his head. You noticed this as soon as you turned to face him. “What?” “You acting childish, that’s what”. You ignored his little insults and shrugged your shoulders. “Why are you so happy?” You looked at Solo quizzically as you waited for him to elaborate. “I mean you’re more happier than you normally are”. He explained. “Oh, Jimmy and I have an anniversary coming up soon, I’m just imagining all the exciting things we could do to celebrate”.

“(Name)!” you recognize that voice and immediately turned around to find Adam waving his hand, gesturing for you to come over.

“Oh crap!” You turned to look at Solo. “I forgot I made plans to talk to Adam before I leave. If Jimmy gets out of the shower before I get back here, could you just fill him in? Thank you” You didn’t even bother to wait for him to agree, you just left.

Solo has a match up next, so he’s going to see Jimmy regardless. He made his way towards the locker room where he accidentally stumbled upon Jimmy talking on his phone while leaned up against the wall. He couldn’t care less about what Jimmy is doing, he had his own thing going on right now. But what Jimmy said next really caught his attention.

“Damn girl, I miss that sexy voice of yours”

Solo didn’t need much to figure out what was going on. He quickly stepped away from the locker room and looked back at the spot where you were standing at earlier. He honestly couldn’t believe what he just overheard and the fact that it had to be him to catch his own brother on the act. All kinds of thoughts began spiraling around his mind. From the time he met you, to the time you started dating Jimmy, to the most recent one where you just told him your anniversary with Jimmy was coming up soon. And to find out Jimmy has been cheating this whole time really pissed him off.

He was so lost in thoughts he didn’t even noticed you standing right next to him calling his name. “Joe?”

When he eventually snapped out of it, he looked at you, and then he looked behind him where he thought Jimmy would be at this point. He didn’t know how long he had been standing there losing his damn mind for, but it definitely should’ve gotten him caught by Jimmy. Fortunately for him, that wasn’t the case. Jimmy was still in the locker room clueless about the fact that he knows.

“Joe?” You called again, this time tapping his shoulder lightly. He looked back at you and the two of you made eye contact. “Are you all right? You look stressed out” You said concerned. Solo didn’t say anything, he couldn’t say anything. He didn’t know how to tell you without making things awkward. But, he knows he has to let you know. You deserve it.

Unfortunately Solo couldn’t do much of anything now that Jimmy had appeared from behind. “Aye, what are you guys doing? You guys good?” you nodded your head before looking at Solo. “Joe?” Solo didn’t say anything, instead, he turned his whole body around to face Jimmy and stared him down. Jimmy was clearly confused. “You good man?”

Again, no response. Solo just walked right past Jimmy and entered the locker room. You and Jimmy looking at each other confused as hell. “The hell?? Did you see that?” Jimmy asked you. You nodded. Suddenly the announcement was made, loud enough for you and Jimmy to hear. Solo’s match was up next and you both figured it might just be him staying in character.

“Ah, he good, he just getting ready for his match” Jimmy stated. You hoped that was the case, but that was still strange, even for Solo.

————————————————————————

2 hours later, you and Jimmy were going out for dinner. You were slightly dressed up for the occasion, while Jimmy wasn’t. Which was typical of him, but still. He was also on his phone a lot too, which obviously made things worse.

“Jon”

“What up?” He never looked away from his phone as he answered. “Uhm, I was thinking, since our anniversary is coming up-Maybe we could do something special together”. You suggested. The man didn’t respond. Whatever he was doing on his phone really has his attention.

“Or I could continue talking to myself..that’s cool too”. Placing an elbow on the table, you rested the right side of your face on the palm of your hand and sighed.

“How are your meals?”. You hear the waitress questioned. You nodded your head in response. “It’s good, thank you”. Now shifting her focus towards Jimmy, the waitress asked him the same question. “Jon, Jon!”. You cried out in a whispered tone. “What up?”. “She asked you how your food is”. “Oh, it’s tight” He gave the waitress a flirty smile. “Who y’all got working in the kitchen? They be killing it!”

The waitress let out a soft giggle. “I’m glad you’re enjoying your meals. I’ll be back to check up on you guys later”. As she walks off, you observed Jimmy, noticing his eyes on the waitress’s ass.

“Jon..”

“What’s up, baby?” He questioned as he began digging into his food. You thought about asking that same question to him again, but then you decided against it. You had another question in mind instead. “Do you remember what’s going on in 2 weeks?”

Jimmy looked up at you, giving you that questionable look. “No..?”. You just nodded your head as you looked down. “No wait! It’s your birthday!”. You shook your head in response.

“Good guess, but no”

Jimmy fumbled around a little bit before giving into his phone again. “Oh damn, I gotta take this. I’ll be right back, baby”.

You watched him get up from his seat and walked away. “Sure…” Once you were left alone, you decided to stare out the window, until you felt your phone vibrated from your bag. Confused, you looked inside to check your phone only to find a text message from Solo.

I really need to talk to you

Next Chapter

[soulc-hilde]

The Bear

If there’s anything more frustrating is doing a series for a show that has writers who don’t properly go about their job. For example, for my series Bear in the Wild which is based on and follows The Bear tv show, Storer and whoever else is co-writing the show - probably - don’t know how they want to go about the show or what to do.

Cause what I remember reading, is that the show wasn’t even supposed to go on for this long which is a congratulations well deserved. However, I don’t think Storer was ideally prepared to take the show higher. Hear me out…

The viewers are split between those who want Carmen to find the light within his life and heal, those who wish to see him be in a relationship with Sydney, and some who may want him with Claire or any BETTER character that can be added in.

From my perspective, I can see how Sydney and Carmen can be a couple. For those who are too hooked onto the fact that they work together - Carmen’s ENTIRE family is heavily involved with the restaurant since he was a kid. That separation is non-existent.

However, the point of this post isn’t about ships. It’s about the writing and the caring of the show. The first two seasons were killer, amazing. The pacing was perfect, the plot of each season was explored within their episodes consistently, and there’s obvious chemistry between Sydney and Carmen.

Romantic or Platonic, who gives a fuck. It's there, that's material that they can work on.

Season 3 fails because it’s inconsistent, it removes our deuteragonist Sydney and replaces her with tertiary characters like the Faks. THE FAKS??

If this season’s theme, its plot, was to dive into each character’s background and how they’re tied within one another, GO FOR IT. Even better, do that but stick to your focal cast which consists of Carmen, Sydney, Richie, Natalie, Tina, Marcus, Ebra, and… maybe the Faks.

Tell us about our seven fishes, how’d they come across Michael? What was his role in their life, outside of being the boss? It’s The Beef/The Bear. Everybody is family. Tell us how The Beef became a home. Talk to us about Sydney’s family, hell Marcus’ mother died at the end of Season 2… let’s dive into that.

Instead, I’m staring at John Cena as a Fak and I’m learning about Thing 1 and Thing 2? I’m receiving vague hints that Claire’s best friend can’t read red flags to save her fucking life and got associated with a Fak? Why would anyone to do that to themselves?

How does this contribute to The Bear? Or to the Season in general?

Claire is the type of girl in reality where you have to tell them to shut the fuck up or else you’ll punch the shit out of them. She pushes and she pushes until you give her the answer she wants.

In the eyes of a WOC, she acts like a typical white woman that was never told no because she was too pretty or talked so soft when in reality, she looked like everyone else and talks as if she’s being stalked and needs saved. Claire ain’t no different than any other plain jane.

So, what makes her so special in Storer’s eyes that she gets to be Carmen’s love interest?

Can’t say that it’s the nostalgia that holds them together cause I’m pretty sure that while they were both acquainted, she wasn’t an actual friend of Carmen’s. She was the out of reach girl who he had a crush on and knew of. Instead of initiating that bond during those times, she initiates it through his family.

Specifically, Michael, Richie, The Faks, and Donna.

Instead of understanding that the fake number meant he didn’t want to talk to her, she goes through Fak and proceeds to keep calling him. He doesn’t owe her shit, not even the toilet paper he used to wipe his ass and yet, we’re watching this grown ass woman hunt this man down when he didn’t want to talk.

If this was the other way around, it would immediately be an example of harassment against women. But Claire? Oh no, this is apparently supposed to be her fighting for her chance at love or getting close to his heart.

Girl, you're a damn pest. Get sprayed.

And let's not even get into one of the promotion interviews. Why is the cast split by the comedic reliefs, the siblings, and the Blacks?? Um... Tell us how you really feel, say that shit with your chest whoever set that up.

Storer was not prepared to create another season and that happens to all shows. I mean, how many shows you've start strong but then there was either a change on staff or it received crazy hype and decided to add seasons to follow the momentum but things went to shit?

There's ways to recover from that. However, here's where Storer really fucked up.

In recent years, the generation of BIPOC have been wishing to see themselves as characters who do the things that the most overhyped white character does.

Cook? Farm? Paint? Rich? Anxious? Depressed? Happy family?

After so many years of "progression" within the industry, we receive these characters that are supposedly in these non-stereotypical roles and won't be used for the plot (especially if they're a woman of color) but then when the final product is out...

Where was that regular-degular character you had?

And thankfully, there's some shows who have been successful with giving us that representation. And it's not about us wanting white directors and writers to tell our story as people. Y'all already had that control and look where we're at now.

We want y'all to get your head out of your asses and realize that there's more to the world than Ashley with the blonde hair, pale skin, and blue eyes.

In The Bear, we get that with Sydney, Ebra, Tina, and Marcus. Now, with Sydney, as I said, she's the deuteragonist. Both her and Richie. Where the fuck was she this season? Why is her role being pushed to the back and the likes of the Faks and the Pest being pushed to the front?

They're for damn sure not on the promotional posters. Especially, Claire. They're not one of the main characters. If anything, they're foil characters and/or tertiary characters.

They are either to help further the plot to reach our ending destination, especially if they surround the main character(s), or add little substance here and there before disappearing.

Storer fucked up. He knew what type of audience he had, he saw the reception that both Sydney and Carmen (Ayo and Jeremy) received for their roles and yet when it came to this season, he played in their faces and with their time. And that's fucked up.

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

I want to tell you about the Flash arc ever: Rogue War.

We start off in the first issue with a totally normal premise. Zoom had escaped jail and was having a romantic fling with Cheetah. The two of them were running around killing people for fun. So naturally Wally and Diana teamed up to stop this horrifying turn of events. Oh and they're also trying to stop the murders as well. Diana was blind for unrelated reasons and she lassoed Wally so that he could act as her seeing eye dog. It's all very normal.

Anyway, so Captain Cold and Captain Boomerang were all doing in-depth research on the Flash family tree. Boy, can I relate to that. Mirror Master hauled in the Turtle for the crime of being... around? I guess? And Weather Wizard found a note tapped to their door inviting the Rogues to a Rogues fight.

In the next issue the Rogues broke the Trickster out of jail and then they tried to hunt down the corpse of the previous Captain Boomerang. It didn't go so well.

Hartley showed up and kidnapped Zoom's wife which was an ABSOLUTELY BALLSY THING TO DO MY GUY. Speaking of kidnappings, Zoom kidnapped Jay because he wanted Jay to build him a cosmic treadmill.

Then we get our Rogue fight. Captain Cold, Mirror Master, Weather Wizard, Captain Boomerang and the new Trickster vs Wally's best friend (Pied Piper), Wally's childhood best friend (Magenta), Heat Wave and the old Trickster. Someone start blasting the John Cena wrestling music because I associate that with massive showdowns and this is one for the century!

But what exactly was the titular character The Flash doing during all of this, I hear you ask. Well. Wally and Linda spent this issue in the doctor's office running tests and finding out that they couldn't have children. It's all very depressing and we're going to move past it because I won't do the scene justice.

Anyway, so the Rogues were fighting each other and we find out that Hartley's team was working for the FBI. They weren't the ones who had sent the Rogues the note inviting them to a Rogue fight. No, they were just a random, convenient grouping of Rogues who happened to have a bone to pick.

Cut to issue three and Wally was at work. He heard on the news that there's trouble going on so naturally he suits up and heads out. He arrived, in the middle of the Rogue fight, and he had no fucking clue what was happening because there were about nine Rogues duking it out in the middle of the street for no reason.

Now there are three teams. The og Rogues, who want to quell the Rogue uprising and find the previous Captain Boomerang's corpse. The FBI Rogues, who have the previous Captain Boomerang's corpse and don't want to give it up for FBI reasons. And Wally, who would really like them to stop breaking skyscrapers please and thank you.

So they're all fighting and causing just an insane amount of damage to the city when all of sudden the Top shows up out of nowhere and is all "Aha! Rogue fight!!" and suddenly there were four teams in this fight. And that's not all! Turns out the Top was the one who left the note and he had his own Rogue team at his beck and call. Girder, Murmur, Plunder, Tar Pit and Double Down now enter the fight.

There were FOURTEEN Rogues all trying to murder each other and Wally was left scrambling to make sure that they a) don't kill each other, b) don't kill him, and c) don't kill any civilians. Wally did knock out Hartley at one point and then Wally brought him back to his house to crash on his couch which was very cash money of him. Wally was like "go sleep off your bad decisions and we'll talk about this over breakfast ❤️"

But yeah, Wally was straight up not having a good time. Captain Cold killed the Top and shattered bits of his body everywhere, fires were raging because Heat Wave decided to go nuts, both Tricksters were battling it out mid air with acid bombs, ect, ect.

While this is all going on, Zoom's wife found Captain Boomerang's body and he was very much a zombie. The FBI wanted a zombie Captain Boomerang for... reasons, I guess? Cap begged for death so Zoom's wife let him die. Terrible timing though because right when he died the new Captain Boomerang barged into the room. See, the new Captain Boomerang was the previous Boomerang's son and he wasn't happy to see what he thought was a random lady killing his father.

So he threatened to kill Zoom's wife.

Not a great idea.

Zoom showed up and took his wife somewhere safe. That safe place was Wally's living room because it's fucking Zoom and he does whatever he wants.

And now we have five teams. The OG Rogues, the FBI Rogues, Top's Rogues, Wally and Zoom. Why was Zoom on his own team? Why wasn't he fighting with a Rogue group? Well, before Zoom was Zoom, he was an FBI analyst who specialized in the Rogues. He hated them with every fiber of his being. Zoom's main goal was to make Wally suffer but killing a bunch of Rogues was irresistible to him. Plus, they threatened his wife.

This was apparently too easy for Wally though. I mean, fourteen Rogues and Zoom at the same time? Pfft. Come on. So naturally Captain Cold called in Dr. Alchemy to distract Wally. Dr. Alchemy apparently thought 'distract' meant 'brutally beat him' because, by god, the man did not go light on the already extremely beat up and tired speedster.

But that's not enough. No, Cold was like "This is still too easy. Call in the big guns." So they brought out Grodd.

16 Rogues and Zoom versus a man who was bleeding out on the floor. Super awesome and fair fight. You love to see it.

Bart ran in at this point and was all "you never invite me to anything fun, Wally". Because Jay's missing and Wally's at deaths door and Bart learned from Wally that you hide your emotions under a layer of sarcasm at all times. Wally genuinely thanked him for the help and, at the realization that this was so serious that they were abandoning snark, Bart responded with a genuine "you're welcome". In one of my favorite blink-and-you'll-miss-it scenes, Bart and Wally stood back to back, surrounded by Rogues, prepared to make their last stand.

Then Zoom swooped in and killed a few. Zoom said his iconic line "I don't give a shit about the Rogue stuff. This is a speedster fight now." (I'm paraphrasing) Zoom grabbed Bart and threatened to snap his neck. Bart said his iconic line "Do it. You won't." (I'm paraphrasing but not as much as you'd think). Zoom then said his iconic line of "SPKFDVL" (not paraphrasing)

At this point Zoom decided that 16 Rogues and himself was WAY too easy for Wally. So naturally he invited Eobard Thawne to the party. Eobard showed up to the fight fashionably late on a cosmic treadmill. One that had Jay chained to the hood like a dead deer.

We still have two issues left people, so buckle up because it doesn't get less insane from here on out.

The Rogues actually had pretty good survival instincts so they took Zoom's whole "speedster fight" thing to heart and they bailed. They got out of there like rats abandoning a burning building.

Wally then showed the world how smart he was and managed to free Bart and Jay. Wally then showed the world how dumb he was and fought Eobard and Hunter on the cosmic treadmill. They then started time traveling with about as much control and finesse as a drunk driver in a snow storm.

They did a hit and run somewhere in the time stream. Poor Captain Boomerang. He got knocked into the arms of Meloni Thawne in the far off future. (And that's how Bart's brother Owen was born)

Hunter's whole plan here was to take Wally back in time to force him to watch Hunter's previous vicious attack on Wally's then pregnant wife, Linda. This attack was devastating as Hunter's attack caused Linda to miscarry the couple's unborn twins. Hunter wanted to make Wally suffer because Hunter thought tragedy would make Wally a better hero.

Eobard's just there cause he likes fucking with people.

So the two of them hold Wally down to make him watch the worst moment of his life when BARRY FUCKING ALLEN SHOWS UP.

You know. The man who has been dead for years.

You see, Barry was also time traveling because of course he was, he's Barry Allen. While Barry didn't have a single clue about what was happening, Barry saw an adult Wally getting beat up and the man went into a rage. That's his KID goddammit.

Barry did his whole best dad thing and gave Wally a pep talk. Wally, for his part, was pretty chill about time traveling Barry because honestly time traveling Barry showing up wasn't really as uncommon of an occurrence as you would think. Barry then dragged Eobard back in time to kill him (not joking).

Okay we're in the end game now.

Wally kicked the shit out of Hunter and threw him in front Linda, shielding her from Hunter's attack. Hunter flipped out and tried to operate the cosmic treadmill but he fucked up and hurled himself through time. Skill issue.

Wally time traveled back to the present where him, Bart and Jay yelled insults at the retreating Rogues because the Rogues were holding them at Turtle point.

The three made a mad dash to the hospital when they heard news that Linda was Not. Okay. Linda went from not pregnant to nine months pregnant in the span of a second because Wally fucked with time. Linda was in labor and EVERYONE WAS FREAKING OUT.

And that's the story of how the West twins were born.

The End.

[leclerced]

plus size reader & landoscar

they’ve face enough controversy in their relationship as it is but once they get past the fact that they are a throuple , now the media feels the need to wrap their head around the fact that the girl they are with isn’t a model or skinny , that she has curves and a tummy and big shoulders. landoscar getting super defensive and mean in an interview liek “sorry are you the one who she screams for and begs to fuck her? no? then i don’t see why it’s any of your business why we are with her or why we are attracted to her.” and oscar who is a little less confrontational than lando saying “has it ever crossed your mind that maybe we LIKE that she’s bigger? that it’s not a burden?”

-🪼🪼🪼

oscar is def less confrontational and nicer about it, at least less vulgar. i can imagine someone asking why they’re w her or something and oscar’s just like “cause i love her? shes beautiful and smart and funny and makes me a better person, i can’t imagine anyone better to spend my life with, other than lando too.” meanwhile lando is like “what do you mean why?” he’s so snappy and it makes them super anxious, they regret asking the question immediately even if they didn’t write it. he starts going off about how he’s sick of people trying to get a reaction out of them, out of their gf, and how shitty they all are that all they can focus on is the size of her waist. says it’s a fucking race weekend; they should be asking about the fucking car, not his relationship. oscar tries to reign him in and be like ok he gets it babe! no need to rip his throat out. but lando insists on getting an answer on why the question is on the list, demands to speak to their supervisor or whatever and oscar’s like, damn okay. i guess he/we have the power to make those demands ???

can def see lando threatening to leak a sex tape to prove how hot his girlfriend is. like theres a howard stern interview where john cena talks about having sex w a plus size woman and hes very respectfully answering stern’s absolutely disgusting questions like if he actually had sex with her and john is like “yeah i had sex w her and it was lovely 🤭she had a beautiful smile and we went home together!” and thats oscar. very polite, and would never say anything uncouth. but lando would be like, “yeah do u wanna see? i watch this one video before bed, every night.” and oscar’s snatching his phone away before he can open his photos app. would never actually leak anything but he would be so angry when ppl try and say she isn’t attractive or something, he’s like listen my dick has never been harder and i have PROOF!!!!

[madstronaut]

prepareth thineselves for another doozy of a ramblecommentating

obligatory alphalist link:

the pining. THE MOTHERFUCKING PINING IN THIS STORY is enough to power a standard size nuclear plant imo and madstronaut is here to do her civic duty as a staunch supporter of the environment and fighting fossil fuels, yes, truly the main reason i read smutty/yearny fic-

Reading: Christian Woman by @kneelingshadowsalome

“You don’t know how it even happened, but you became friends with a foreign man visiting your city.” 

this is basically reverse tinder iykyk

“You feel warm and safe with him, lost inside a soft bubble you quickly create in the corner table of a cellar cafe.”

 this very aptly desscribes how this story makes me feel. i cried the first time i read it through fully; just made me feel so many emotions 🥹🥹🥹

Perhaps it’s the dimly lit environment or perhaps it’s just him, but you have one of the deepest conversations ever with this mysterious man.

i hope everyone experiences the happy accident of a spontaneous deep conversation with a stranger - feels like God/the universe just gifting you a random act of kindness

“Well… I don’t do twerking, but yes, nuns are allowed to dance.” girl you about to do a lot more than that very soon 

You can see he hasn’t skipped a leg day either, and immediately chastise yourself for checking out his butt in the coffee queue.

*when God sings with his creations, will not König's ass be part of the choir*

You know it’s an attempt to make you forgive his choice of career when he reveals to you that his best mission was when he saved thirty women from sex trafficking. And it does make your heart crack open a little.

just speaking personally quite a heady experience to have someone attempt to better themselves for you but way too easy for this dynamic go from sexy/flattering to emotionally off-kilter - how does the phrase go? with great pus-power comes great responsibility

Actually, you catch him looking at your breasts, scanning your body and cherishing the tender spot between your collarbones more times than you can count. They’re quick, stolen moments, so harmless that you choose to stay quiet.

🥰🥺🥰🥺

He listens to your every word with a softening glow in his eyes, a shimmer that spreads across the table and makes you feel warm all over. fucking LOVE THIS LINE

König always softens in your presence... You always tense up in his. 

Your face is flushed, and you blame it on the overcrowded cafe. You feel both safe and in danger with him, and it must be the virgin inside you talking.

this is such a great description of how a good ole crush feels - “you feel both safe and in danger with him”

 It’s bubbly and lively and colourful, just like your friend; it’s the opposite of König, the special operations soldier who’s dark, intriguing, and intimate, just like the dimly lit cellar cafe you meet him in secret.

total sidenote but since I was just recently there - you wanna talk bright bubbly cafe next to dim cellar cafe - bedford cheese shop next to irving farm coffeeshop on irving place off union square in nyc fits these descriptions exactly lol

"Soldiers are crazy. I once dated this peacekeeper,” your friend continues in her usual chirpy way.

why did the following description make me think of john cena peacemaker, who does indeed own a fleshlight in the show 😂😂😂

And at times, hearing about all the things your friend has gone through, being an onlooker to all that heartbreak and pining and loss, has managed to strengthe your resolve. a whole moooooood

“No, seriously. We’re talking about fistfights and broken bones. Dating apps would explode. People would get killed.”

we all need a friend like this 😂

 If anything, you’re scared of men, and you loathe the dating world. You’re put off by shallow commitments and one-night stands and getting ghosted and God knows what else.

omg it me????

You always told your friend that Jesus Christ is the most stable man you’ve ever met, and you will stick with him.

recalling all those worship songs nicknamed “Jesus is my boyfriend” songs in youth group growing up😂😂😂😂

“Stable? Excuse me, but didn’t he start a riot or something at the temple? Are we talking about the same dude who lead an uprising against the Romans? Hung out with whores, raised corpses from the dead, fucked around and found out until someone nailed him at the cross? Stable my ass!”

I want to banghang out with this Jesus tbh amigoingtohellfortypingthatmaybesavemeJesus😉

Your friend's enthusiastic grin turns into an uneasy, pitying smile when she realises how deep into this man you actually are. 

i knew she was a goner when she started talking about his hands

If you're chosen by God, your friend is chosen by the Devil, that's for sure. like i said WE ALL NEED A FRIEND LIKE THIS 😂

There’s no chaos and no guns and no tall men with big dicks, no Austrian war criminals trying to seduce you and then discard you after their deployment ends. 

There’s only a man with a kind smile, warm eyes, and a nice, husky laugh. Some good coffee with distant notes of chocolate and perfectly civil conversations about European philosophers and the crisis of modern thought. 

WHY NOT BOTH?

Sturdy walls support you; they have held you for centuries, and the crucifix above you has given hope to so many people before you. The ever-safe embrace of your faith envelops you, and you can always trust that you are loved, even when you’re flawed and incomplete. 

Even with indecent thoughts, you can pray for mercy and ask for forgiveness. Even if you have impure urges towards your Austrian mercenary, you can still pray for him... It’s the least you can do to repay the kindness he has given you.

i appreciate how fleshed out our nun reader is <3 i found myself in a weird limbo of wanting her to remain true to herself while still navigating her faith (as someone also on a post(idk tbh?)-faith journey i find her spiritual self-wrestling very relatable and familiar)

You don’t want to draw the Lord’s attention to you while your hand travels down beneath the sheets, your thoughts wandering to a certain god-like soldier with eyes like burning ice.

probs goin to hell for this (but im on tumblr so im already here??? lmao) but S i r if u invented the whole concept u can at least watch and give me pointers/tips

And that’s ok - physical touch like that is ok. Holding hands is not.

truly the absolute dirtiest sluttiest thing you can do fr fr let me say it once again with my whole chest 👏HOLDING👏HANDS👏IS👏FOR👏 SLUTSSSSSS👏 (it's me, the slut, im the slut)

It finds you in silence, envelops your tiny palm completely, squeezes you softly and emanates so much heat that a cord of fire shoots across your arm and straight into your heart. 

i remember my first innocent hand holdings/cheek kisses and they felt EXACTLY like this, reading this felt like salome went digging into my brainfolds and pulled the sensations out and put them in writing 🤯

The only thing you ever craved for was another slice of cake. omg nun reader your innocence is adorable all the better when watching it break

“I’m sure you’ll find some other girl to… hold hands with,” you say, hating how bitter and self-pitying you sound. holy self-sabotage, batman - NUNREADER DONT DO THISSSSS

“I’m sorry too,” he laments, but the corner of his mouth curves slightly up. “So sorry you wouldn’t even believe…”  excuse me while i mop myself off the floor; melted right off my chair

You wonder if he’d pay you a visit if you told him where you sleep. You wonder if your single bed would creak if he tried to make love to you on it... You wonder if you could muffle your cries when you clenched with him inside you. If he’d groan too loudly when he reached his peak…

nun reader can i interest you in an alternate, similarly unpaid career trajectory of…*drumroll* SMUTTY FIC WRITING???? pls i will send u an ao3 invite and comment on every 5th syllable of your stories and be your 2nd-biggest personal hypebae (first one being her own bff who would be over the moon ofc)

The back door is always open too because some of the nuns are smokers.

im deeefinitely picturing nun!aubrey plaza from the little hours below

“Of course not. I will pray for you every day,” you smile with a good amount of affection. It has the same effect as saying something like “I want to blow you right here on this street” because your Austrian giant gets visibly excited. spit my fuckin tea out at this, fucking hilarious

the giant soldier who now carries a piece of your heart with him. You wonder if he even knows he owns it. 🥺🥺🥺reminds me of old crushes/lovers who broke my heart. did u know how much you held when you had a piece of it? steadfastly not thinking of the ones i broke too🤪

The morning prayers and mass are a chore and bring you no comfort, and the usual dawn bliss is gone.

i have often heard it said both in a spiritual and practical context that when your peace leaves a place, you should pay attention and leave with it and it’s still a very relevant and wise piece of advice imho

But at the same time, you know it must’ve been the Lord who brought you together. There must be a reason for God to make you two meet, you refuse to think it’s only because He wishes to tempt you. There must be a bigger plan; the connection, as sinful and carnal as it is, has to serve some higher purpose. 

tw for churchish talk so pls skip if its not your cup of tea but without getting into all the fucked up stuff that is the monstrosity of evangelical churchianity, personally speaking one of the earliest places (and most constant sources) i learned about self-worth and compassion and love and extending it to myself and others was through people of faith (i know this might be ironic/offensive to some because believe me i have also been there in being traumatized/antagonized by ppl of faith as well but trying my best to hold all our different experiences and perspectives in hand to be able to see listen and understand the good the bad and grey and everything in between in a nuanced way, anyway story of my life); i wish i could offer similar encouragement i heard to nunreader - omg, can we instead focus on the verses/stuff in bible like Christ coming to set us free, not keep us chained to laws, God is love, loving God and others are apparently the two most important things in the faith and everything else rests on these two, also there is a shitttttton of smut in the bible coughsong of songs, the book no one ever preaches aboutcough and also i dont think the supposed inventor of sex hates sex, anyway ending my shittylittle fauxsermon/rant here but end of tw, back to the fic~

And you wonder if you’re going mad, because your most sinful thought is that you actually see God in him. i know reader is deep in the cups of churchthought but this is honestly one of the most beautiful things ive read; i want to (and imho i do) ‘see God’ - see something divine, beautiful wondrous heavenly full of love and joy and peace and gentleness and kindness and all that other stuff from that galatians bit i dont recall now- in the people I love too

You decide to hold on to this thought: that you were meant to meet so that you could come to know God through each other. cough once again trawling through some old memories resurfacing from my churchish days but apparently one of the meanings of the original hebrew word for to know in the bible also meant to have sex with, i am 1000% serious👀👀👀

You wear your everyday clothes to the café, and König says nothing about your sudden moral choice, only gives you another longing, enamored once-over.

recalling an old convo with a guyfriend when we were discussing/joking about modesty and clothing and i joked that the ultimate level was a nun habit/outfit - in complete seriousness though he turned to me and said to a man in lust/love, the right woman has nothing she could wear that wouldn’t tempt him - including a nun outfit - and ive never forgotten what he said lol. I joked about ankles sticking out and then of course we dove into a deep discussion on the existential nature of feet fetishes. in hindsight, apologies to anyone nearby we may have traumatized/offended that june afternoon in washington square park

You hate it that the bright, playful air of your meetings is gone, and your heart is tearing itself apart in your chest because the only thing you wanted was to spread joy into his world. Even the Lord seems disappointed in you being so cold-hearted, and you can’t bear to see His sadness and suffering in König’s eyes.

all he has to do is sneak inside your heart and take the place that belongs to God. You don’t even feel the difference as he makes himself at home. 

Well, actually, you do... It’s like your Christ’s love and mercy have finally come to flesh and blood before you. They're materialized in the man sitting opposite of you, bouncing his knee excitedly and grinning like the most innocent little devil on Earth. 

peak yearning right here. also i think salome captures thoughtprocess of nunreader so well in her eventually assauging her Intense Catholic Guilt™️ by basically equating König to Jesus/God, the only man nuns are allowed to simp for (if anyone is offended by the near-constant blasphemous shit in this post - tbh my whole blog - pls say a prayer for me lol)

“I–I can’t just escape from the window.” my SISTER in CHRIST, you just gave away your whole escape plan LMAO

But everything feels so right that it can’t be a sin – if it is, it just so happens to be the most natural, most divine thing to do too.

nunreader i am cheering you on with little party hats and confetti bombs in spirit-

Everything’s so tight and earthly; everything’s so… there. Visible... Touchable.

very into how nunreader is feeling herself here. yes my queen get ready to fucking get ittttttt

And König has seen you without makeup all this time, so what on earth has possessed you to lament the fact that you don’t own a single case of lipstick? You’d kill for a few sweeps of mascara, too, just to bat your lashes at a silly man.

i am restraining the urge to dive into the screen into this story with my makeup kit to Give Reader A Mini-Makeover (i fucking LOVE those scenes in stories/shows/movies and also for me makeup is art and the canvas is my face/body and i enjoy perfecting my art on the daily- totally forget over the pandemic how much i enjoyed putting on makeup before going to work)

“Here, kitty, kitty…” why is this extremely goofy and sexy at the same time? peak König vibes tbh

Whenever you’re with your sisters, the feeling is pure, pristine love, not a surge of complex emotions and thrill like it is with König.

why not both, my sister, why not both? something something love is a many splendored thing - shakespeare probably

You walk the streets with a flower in one hand and his palm in the other. this is the cutest fucking thing ive ever read so far i am biting my pillow to shreds~ also König handfeeding strawberries to sis at the restaurant?? someone call 911 for public indecency???? hot damn and you were worried bout HOLDING HANDS???

He's nervous, too... Your cruel soldier is nervous, and kind, and shy because he's pressed against you. every girls dream 🥰🥰🥰

instantly getting hard from a first kiss does feel very könig-coded, do not @ me

You hear whistles and whoos in the distance, some men yelling, “Let’s go!” and “Get a room” while they pass by. not me also joining in-

The world revolves like it always has, as you choose a crucified man over the one who’s flesh and blood and holds you through your pain. not me getting together a petition.org straight to Jesus to cut our sister some slack-

“The world tests us in many ways... But Lord never tests us. He only loves us.”

on this note i remember being briefly fascinated by nuns/priests as a young madstronaut - mostly fascinated by these women living sans men in such a male-dominated world/space and foregoing sex/marriage (anyway little did i know of religious patriarchy and such then) but knowing what i know now, that under all the collars and habits and wimples are still regular people/human beings - i wonder how many IRL Christian Women fics are being lived out right now somewhere 👀coughBEFREEMYSISTERScough 

He just now crossed your mind when you remember how he used to smell: of salty seabreeze mixed with intoxicating musk, the scent of excitement and safety all in one.

smellsandbells are my bread butter and jam! research has also shown the sense of smell is strongly linked with memory too and i can attest to this

The tallest man you’ve ever seen steps out from the dark in full combat gear, and while you can’t see his face because it’s covered with a draping black hood, you recognize it’s him simply from the way he moves. 

do not resist dear sister, no one can when COD men deck themselves out in full gear, its simply not physically spiritually mentally emotionally chemically possible, cold scientific fact, biblical gospel, incontrovertible truth, in this annotated research paper i will-

You must look like a frightened deer because König mistakes your horrified look as sweet, simple concern.

“Don’t worry... They have it much worse, I assure you,” he says with his usual grin – you can hear it from the way he says it that he’s smiling. okay König fucking would say something like this lmao READ THE ROOM SIR but also sister has it d o w n  b a d if shes able to recognize him just by the way he moves and “hear him smiling” iykyk

So when he asks you if there are any motels or a bed & breakfast nearby, you say you know just the place. sir i see right through your schemes and i am giving my 100% certified stamp of approval tbh i wouldn’t have even put it past him in this fic if he stabbed himself in a nonlethal area so sister can see some skin without ICG in teh way (Intense Catholic Guilt™️)

You suppose this is what your friend calls a happy trail... 

And it does make you very happy. 

you and me both sister, you and me both

“Pay no mind to that,” he says thickly and completely without shame. “ pay no mind? my brother in christ you are giving free handouts (trying not to let my brain rot away thinking of double entendres here)

“I wrote to you, Braut Christi... Many times. Never sent the letters… They’re still in my room, at the base.” sir sir if i can guess at the contents of some (most?) of these letters…may I ALSO interest you in an alternate albeit unpaid career trajectory of smutty fic writing-

You wonder if hearts can find each other, even through a distance, and if you’ve felt the urge to go to the flower he gave you at the same time König has gotten the desire to write another letter to you. It’s bittersweet, like this whole thing between you two, the mystery that both brings you together and rips you apart. 

damn this is peak writing right here. this rivals published writing ive read, all my standing ovations, slow claps, and hats off to you salome~ i go through tons and tons of fic in hopes to read sentences like these and stories like yours ❤️❤️❤️honestly their whole exchange with sis kneeling by him as he falls asleep is peak yearning/tenderness 

also nunreader’s “why exactly does König like me so much, is it because of any other possible reason other than myself” is peak relatability - once again restraining myself from grabbing reader through the screen and giving them white-board scrawled peptalks breaking down why they are amazing and worthy

He must be getting better if he’s behaving like this... The man’s insufferable enough when he’s uninjured, but now that he’s getting pampered, he’s somehow even worse. 😂😂😂 sis finally gettin the memo

Your only summer dress resides at your parent’s house as a relic from the past, a token from your life before sisterhood. this is true, i recall reading that once someone enters the convent/monastery they basically get given one nun/priest outfit and like maybe a backup one when the main one gets washed? my new yorker fashionloving ass could never

 “No, I’m not. I’m just some woman you bumped into in the street.”

“That’s exactly what an angel would say.”

😂😂😂

You sigh: it’s useless with König, hopeless, like trying to wrestle with God. No matter what you say or do, he always turns it against you in the sweetest possible way. as someone with the near-useless superpower of getting weird inside baseball bible/sunday school/youth group jokes/references however vague in modern lit/culture when they appear i appreciate the “wrestle with God” reference, peak research vibes

also the last line here really smacks of the nicer interpretation of what the abbess told sis: “God doesn’t test us, he loves us” <3

 There’s nothing sexual about it, so why not?

she says “aint nothin sexual bout lyin in a bed, the primary location where people usually have sex, with an almost nude man who is horny/erect 95% of the time he is around you, alone, in what i can only describe as a an ideal small town honeymoon suite while it is moodily raining outside” my sister in christ, do you recall lying (yes even to yourself) is a s i n

also i have never been catholic but hot damn i was also blushing and did think König is fucking s h a m e l e s s reading about him feeling up sis STILL IN HER HABIT 😂

He’s ever so grateful for his saving angel, who he gets to cuddle “as a reward”. You don’t quite know if it's a reward for you or him.

once again my sister in christ w h y n o t b o t h (also im deliriously pleased i can use sister in christ with multi-layered meanings here)

“Perhaps we’ll stay there... Forget all this,” he chatters lazily, clearly in the same sweet bubble as you. ive always found it so sweet and vulnerable and tender hearing bfs/guys muse and daydream about a future together 🥰🥰 just hits different when boys do it, and openly too

 the last of your armour, your pride and shame and vows, drift away like they were made of nothing but simple steam. 

But there’s nothing to hold on to but him, so you anchor yourself in the dark hunger of his eyes.

That’s all the reply you get: a pleased, filthy stare of someone who’s about to wreck you up.

“Come here,” he says while you’re already locked in an inseparable embrace.

*chefs kiss* these lines are perfection

You start to cry in full, not even knowing why. You just know you’ve wanted this for ages. This connection, this ecstasy, this mutual presence and fulfilment, this sense of belonging to someone. 

*nodding along sagely* yes cathartic cries are the best cries

your pussy wakes up after recovering from the initial shock… For some reason, it is vital for you not to let the old receptionist know that a humble sister of Christ is getting licked to ruin in his establishment. 

HAHAHA SALOME OMFG ABSOLUTELY SCREECHED READING THIS

You’re going through several stages of ego death and bliss; you’re going through a crisis of faith and multiple rebirths while König is having a field day with your pussy. Honestly completely normal reaction imho

All thoughts of What if he doesn’t enjoy it evaporate when you see the demanding erection between his legs, pointing at you so viciously that you feel pity for the fabric of his pants.

fics that have genital personification have a special place in my heart. also i did not expect to write such a sentence today or in my life but here i am, thank you tumblr

You’re not wearing any bra; you stopped wearing them years ago as useless and immoral. ok hold up one moment why are bras immoral lol girl unless you are small enough to join the free the nip movement without penalities a good support system is vital!!!

“You naughty girl…” he says thickly.

tbh in context of entire fic König calling sis a naughty girl is probably the hottest thing he’s said…sir where did u get all this rizz

“Want to see what I got?”

…forget what I said about the rizz, this is the fucking goofiest follow-up he could say 😂😂😂 salome has König vibes down pat

You’re mesmerized to see him already tensing from the chest up, the tendons on his neck becoming visible as he grits his teeth together. 🥰🥰🥰 an absolute vision

It's riddled with chants of Put it in and Forget about the bloody plastic because even with your zero experience you know it wouldn't feel as good as skin *me, reading, also joining in the chant*

The room must be smelling like a sex cave by now. protip: make sure the smell is gone if you have guests coming over

It makes you smile; him being so happy with simple things such as good food and some kinky sex, a nice cuddle and a nap to top it off. giggling at nunreader thinking humping is kinky UGH WHY ARE YOU SO SWEET AND ADORABLE i just want to take you on a shopping and makeup spree and introduce you to things like bubble tea, dry shampoo, glossier merch, weekend farmer's markets at union square, the hot barista/server at veselka's-

“This is what I call liking someone so much it hurts.” 🥺🥺🥺 couldnt seduce a woman if he tried my ass

König learns your body language; he knows it like a native speaker by the end of the week. EAT YOUR HEART OUT DUOLINGO (please dont kill me i'll fix my streak i promise)

König only smiles on the bed while you treat him; it’s like his master plan finally worked. I FUCKIN CALLED IT

“I would never hurt you….and no one ever will.” their whole conversation here is one of my favorite scenes in the whole story.

Without mentioning König or what you’ve been up to lately, you simply tell her you’ve decided to move on with your life. yes, i am one of those plebs who clap when the plane lands, but for dramatic turning points in fanfic

You receive lots of well wishes, hugs, even tears when you tell others you’re leaving. Embarrassed that you almost got rid of your robes and sneaked out to another secret lover’s meeting without even saying farewell, you meet everyone with full presence until you find yourself crying too. 

i love a fic that has lore and a bit of worldbuilding so well-built that you want to look around corners and peek into windows and doorways about what else there is - i found myself wondering about sister’s relationships here with the other nuns - but also loved that last phrase of reader finally feeling whole, “meeting everyone with full presence” after feeling so fractured and divided the first half of the story 👏👏👏we love a good full circle fic 👏👏👏

No wonder men die younger – you’d have to tie this specimen to a sturdy lamp post if you wanted him to stay put... i too think this everytime i see some dumb bullshit, mostly on @drunkpeopledoingthings

“Well, you’ve seen me,” you extend your hands to your sides, knowing you’ve already lost. “You can go back now.” there's something just very delicious watching someone fight a losing battle

desire pools, brims, until you feel like you can’t breathe anymore. loooooooove this phrasing

This must be one of the craziest things you’ve done in your life says reader, of having sex for the first time, a near universal experience

To you, he’s all men in one, the sheer mass of him making your thighs tremble from want. 🥰🥰🥰reader in love is so poetic <3

also yes squeaky beds are my kink, ty for including salome 🥰🥰🥰

also sis describing her pussy “hugging” dick has got to be the fluffiest smut ive ever read🥰🥰🥰

Ten times more powerful than the most blissful experiences with your God, you want to come here for worship again and again, to have his body entangled with yours. ah yes to know König is to know God indeed 😏😏😏😏😏

When done, he sinks half his weight on you, thoroughly spent, and you feel fulfilled, some deep-seated joy taking hold of everything that once was hollow. Curiously, all shame is absent. 🥹🥹🥹 i love this line so much. i hope everyone is able to experience this, especially if you like me have had some religious purity culture trauma in your life - there is no shame in love <3

The happiness, the pure joy in his eyes, is heartbreaking. At that moment, you know that all his silly jokes, follies, and babbles about taking you to the mountains and whisking you away have been real. They have been true, honest wishes... There is no lie in him, no jest, no fakeness. Just pure, simple joy from hearing that you finally chose him, too. 🥹🥹🥹

The old man doesn’t even care to look surprised when he sees you clothed in jeans and a simple shirt this time, smiling as you rush upstairs, hand in hand with König. okay but shoutout to this dude, you a real one for being the best unintentional wingman this side of europe

You can’t wait to sleep with him tonight: simply sleep with him, finally, curl up together in safety, do the most basic thing all lovers do. You can’t wait to wake up to a fresh dawn together, lovely, curious, and new. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

You take new vows: promising to yourself to live each day fully and bravely, and never again shut your heart. 

The only thing left of you on your old bed is your black and white robe, and on it, a crucifix and a rose, and a note that says:

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love… But the greatest of these is love.

screaming crying i cant even explain how this fic made me feel, some mixture of joy and heartbreak and catharsis and healing all wrapped up in one as i found so many parallels both with reader and König at times and isn’t that just some of the best things about great stories, when it helps us see and feel and know and love ourselves and others in new ways we couldn’t before?

i wanted to do this absolutely lovely fic justice so ive literally been sprinkling comments on this during re-reads for months; i will close with a fitting - and catholic - quote that i love:

“There is a twilight zone in our hearts that we ourselves cannot see. Even when we know quite a lot about ourselves-our gifts and weaknesses, our ambitions and aspirations, our motives and our drives-large parts of ourselves remain in the shadow of consciousness. This is a very good thing. We will always remain partially hidden to ourselves. Other people, especially those who love us, can often see our twilight zones better than we ourselves can. The way we are seen and understood by others is different from the way we see and understand ourselves. We will never fully know the significance of our presence in the lives of our friends. That's a grace, a grace that calls us not only to humility, but to a deep trust in those who love us. It is the twilight zones of our hearts where true friendships are born.” - quote by Henri Nouwen, catholic priest

[luimagines]

Pinky! I'm back, why doesn't a Lynel emoji exist? As it would be super funny. I just need a Lynel and the farm and you know who I am. The one with the Lynel farm.

So to cut to the chase. These headcanons of Bunny!Legend kicked something in my brain and I think it would be cute for Reader but funny for the chain and embarrassing for Legend.

I was a bunny owner myself and I know, that bunnies do nest when they are expecting. So we know that his Dark World form bleeds sometimes into his hylian form. So I think, if Legend has a pregnant S/O. He would go to their shared bedroom and build a nest/ burrow/ den. As soon as his bunny instincts tell him, he will be getting kits.

He will find it embarrassing as soon as he realises what he is actually doing, while Reader finds it endearing. He also sleeps automatically so that he protects Reader and their stomach with his body. Even when Reader turns around, he will turn them back so he can protect them with his kits. Reader is his mate, he has to protect them.

But if the Chain finds out about the little nest that once was a bed. Legend is not going to live it down. Sky and Twilight will tease him relentlessly, but Reader takes the blame in front of them all and says they did it as they miss Legend so much and Reader is pregnant so they can pass it down pregnancy hormones. Legend knows that they did it to protect his pride as they know how much he hates his other form. Legend is glad but also feels guilty as they take the "blame" on their pregnant body.

But if they try to make fun of Legend as he is very protective and soft towards and around Reader. Reader will show that you should never mess with Legend's pregnant S/O. A mother becomes a grizzly bear as soon as they see their baby in danger but their love for Legend strong enough to put them in a similar state and pregnancy hormones, they are dangerous. Damn, Reader is suddenly a WWE fighter and beats the crap out of them, John Cena would be proud as he didn't know he had a hylian child, they even got a chair to smack the boys. All of them got a beating except for Hyrule as he is an innocent baby in their eyes and Time. Wind learns flying. Time didn't do anything so he "just" got a scolding for doing nothing to prevent the group from teasing their hero.

After that the Chain has a new juice to drink "Respect Reader Juice". Legend has to calm them down, normally it's the other way around, as stress isn't good for the baby. Warriors thanks him silently. Wind comes back and asks for another round. Wild wants to fly too! Twilight has to control those two. He drinks "Respect Women Juice", "Respect Pregnant Women Juice" so now he is drinking "Respect Pregnant Reader Or You Turn Into A Punching Bag Juice". Pregnant people are scary.

But I also think Legend would be in a pickle. He needs to travel with the group to slay the Shadow. But Reader is pregnant with his child/ children. In his paranoid mind, he is we all would be paranoid after we go through the same shit he did, he pictures the worst case scenarios. Ravio is a coward, he is incapable of protecting Reader and his kits. In fact, he is sure Ravio would run away as soon as some of Legend's enemies or even monsters from the Shadow come to hurt Legend psychologically. He would break down, if he sees his family dead and knowing, that he wasn't able to protect them! He would lose his will to live. Even if the boys try to cheer him up, nobody would be able to do it as Legend worked so hard for his family only to lose them! So of course, something in his mind he wants to protect them but he definitely doesn't want to take Reader with him or they are really a walking target! And even if Reader says he should go. He can't just pack up and leave! So the group stays until Reader calms Legend down so isn't in a paranoia episode until then the group has to wait and respect whatever Legend's choice is, even if they need his help. Time understands him, he has Twilight as his descendant and he knows how scared he was as Twilight was injured. He would probably react the same if Malon was pregnant as he also doesn't want to lose his loved ones. So he would even persuade the others, that Legend's choice is his to make not theirs. He would explain, that Legend wants to be there when his kit is born, learns to walk, learns to speak, he wants to hear its first words. He just wants to be there and have a kinda peaceful life since the beginning and maybe Hylia did want him to give him that with making Reader pregnant with his kits.

Maybe a Zebra emoji? Honestly, shame on them for not having a lynel emoji.

I actually don't know much about having bunnies either! But I know they stomp when they're mad!

But pregnancy hormones are no joke, what so ever. Especially when they're mad.... Or should I say hopping mad?

.... I'll see myself out.

And poor Legend, worrying his poor little head about every little thing because he wants everything to be nice and safe and homey. Just let the man raise his family in peace. :(

[sathona]

so i finally watched Bumblebee(2018) with a bunch of friends and

holy fucking shit

its incredible. its a 10/10. it is so, SO much better than the shit-tier bayformers movies were. it has color and soul and emotion and actual plot and clear motivations for the characters. the decepticons arent some morally gray vague entity, theyre a clearly manipulative, tyrannical regime. the autobots are clearly a resistance force that lost the war and is going to earth to regroup. the movie immediately opens up with a sequence that is full to bursting with color and personality and it makes it very clear that the fights and the cybertronians arent going to be all gray and greebly and boring because their designs are obvious renditions of the generation 1 iterations. theyre the actual transformers! and oh my GOD i cant stop gushing about the actual transformations in the movie, like, look at this.

my friend indyjacob said this, which is a technical examination that that i couldnt put into words:

it's not like the fucking original michael bay ones where the transformations are weird nonsense. like, you can see the cockpit canopy flip down into the chest piece, or the wings invert and then raise up alongside the jets, and the front intakes rotating into the arms. the parts of the vehicle actually shift into place on the new body as if it were the old toys

and these multi transformations are cool too

the animations are slower yet more impactful, theyre much less blurry, and they look incredible. the fight choreography incorporates many more transformation sequences, especially in the final fight of the film, and they have more weight to them. the fights arent just them ripping each other apart and blasting each other with one hit kill weapons. they use the environment, they use creativity, they use martial arts, and as with the transformations, its not a messy blur of gray movement. you can actually see whats going on!

and then the characters. oh my god theyre great. our main character aside from bumblebee is, first of all, a young woman named charlie. already starting off on a great note. and she has personality! this is the story of a girl and a transformer and their unbreakable bond that i so badly wanted mikaela and bumblebee to have in the bayformers films.

bumblebee himself is also fantastic- i wont spoil anything but his arc is sooo satisfying. and the villains arent just like, mindless monsters. they arent caricatures, they have clear personalities and motivations, and their plans are satisfying yet dismaying to watch unfold. and then agent burns, played by john cena, is such a great character. hes not just an insect in a hivemind of soldiers, hes a person who eventually actually understands whats at stake and he ended up as one of my favorites. just look at him!

the boy! so much emotion there. youll understand if you watch and reach that point in the film.

in conclusion, Bumblebee is the live action reboot that transformers really needed. michael bay did have a message in his original movies, but transformers was the wrong medium for it, and this film is everything that they should have been. if you havent watched it yet because, like myself, you were scared off by bayformers, please give it a shot. its nothing like them. like i said at the top of this post, its a 10/10. it rekindled my love for transformers, and i am very excited to see where this new line of movies goes.

this is sath, an official stan of this movie, signing off.

[kozumesphone]

congrats on 50 followers! so excited to see your account grow

I. WHO IS SHE ? ࣪𖤐

give me a short/long description of yourself and i’ll tell you which of my oc’s you remind me of !

i'm super super competitive, i'm math/science smart, i hate hate hateee not following a schedule so i always have planner or use my notes app to plan my days, my favorite movie/show genres are romcoms and comedies, and i never leave my house without chapstick or else i will literally die and explode!

⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖

NOAH X EMMY ⭑.ᐟ

⟢ “we fell in love in october!”

my oc you’re most like: noah roe

noah is the mom-friend of the group and works his ass off at academics because he competes with one of his friends (the fmc) all the time [ spoiler alert: he always comes in first & she’s second (which she hates) ]

he has an overall intimidating vibe because he’s taller than most, but is actually a softie

he’s meticulous and appears disorganised but is actually a huge neat freak with ocd

he’s the science smart friend that all asian mums love ykwim

in an au, he wouldn’t usually watch tv but if he was forced to, he’d pick a comedy show

LISTS LISTS LISTS

noah roe quotes . . .

‘we should play games all night!’ / “it’s not healthy.” *proceeds to play games with the others all night using the excuse of ‘looking after them’*

“can you all just pick a collective time to annoy me, and leave me alone to sleep or eat for the rest of the day? THANK YOU-“

“honeybuns?” *scrunches nose* “that’s an awful nickname to call someone you don’t hate.”

bio-data . . .

name: noah roe

age: 17

sex: m

ethnicity: asian

faceclaim: jonathan.liuser on instagram

preferences in an alternate universe . . .

favourite song: valorant bgm

favourite show: some random show that would play on tv at a fixed time everyday

favourite celebrity: john cena

noah’s ‘studying to death’ playlist (aka his jams) . . .

I can’t handle change — roar

afraid — the neighbourhood

teen idle — marina

jealousy, jealousy — olivia rodrigo

mirrorball — taylor swift

taglist — @nuncscioquidsitamor-14 @mqstermindswift @puffoz @skeelly @urmomabby

@sunnitheapollokid @jgracie @canonfeminine @cinemaconrad @totokyo

@urbanflorals @aezuria @thetunnelunderoceanboulevard @cherigall @percabethluvr

@pjoverseluvr @maybxlle @mershellscape @riordanness @starlitszn

@metyouattherighttime @a-beautiful-fool @sequinsnstars @ssparksflyy @fayvpor

@iheartgirlzn @nomournersnofunerals @over-the-ocean-call @seaglass-and-string @cer3lia

@lara20aral @bloophasarrived @xoxochb @auroraofthesun1 @sophiesonlinediary

@solangelotus @brodieland @s1utlvr @imasimpdealwithit @waitingonher

@nqds @skyrigel @daydream-of-a-wallflower @klineinie @hermidastouch

@catastrxblues @moon-drop18 @d4rkdi0rrr @hopelesslyromantic-shark @saltwatergirl6

@hope92100

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