#he's the most clueless guy on slang language

[clarissaweasley-10]

Grayson: What does 'idk' mean?

Lyra: I don't know

Grayson: me neither..

[starlvcied]

THINGS THEY DO THAT YOU FIND CUTE (CLASS 1-A) - [PT. 1]

characters ; izuku midoriya, katsuki bakugou, shoto todoroki, eijiro kirishima, denki kaminari, tenya iida, hanta sero, mina ashido, tsuyu asui, ochaco uraraka, kyoka jirou, momo yaoyorozu

g/n reader, no warnings.

✮⋆˙ - izuku midoriya : izuku physically cannot stand still. he has to be moving somehow, but he isn't really aware of this. he tends to have a habit of playing with his hair, whether it's running his fingers through it or twirling his finger around a few strands, you find it being the cutest thing ever. you never point it out though, because you know he would burst into a flustered mess and stop whenever he catches himself doing it. you find it cute, but he would find it so embarassing.

✮⋆˙ - katsuki bakugou : we all know this man is great in the kitchen. so, whenever you catch him cooking a meal for you, (or himself, mostly himself...) all you could do is smile. on one occasion, you were out running errands. you had come across an apron with the lettering "kiss the cook" on it. you picked it up with a smirk, imagined how he'd look in it, but you had figured he would just scold you for it. so, you put it back.

✮⋆˙ - shoto todoroki : he's so chronically offline. whenever you ask to do something trendy with him, he tilts his head at the idea and raises a brow at you. whenever you use any form of slang, he's just as confused. you try to explain, he still doesn't get it. urban dictionary is his best friend. the reason you don't explain this kind of stuff to him is because of that silly, clueless face he makes when he has no idea what you're talking about. it's a foreign language to him, but he tries his hardest to understand you.

✮⋆˙ - eijiro kirishima : kiri loves to manhandle you. tossing you over his shoulder, tackling you, throwing you onto the couch, anything like that leaves you a giggling mess. he knows you love it, too. he enjoys it just as much as you do.

✮⋆˙ - denki kaminari : he is always smiling. that has to be one of your favorite things about him. he has the teethiest smile after he does literally anything, especially when he does things to impress you. he has the most contagious smile you've ever seen. you love to see him smile, and you would do anything to make sure he's always cheesing.

✮⋆˙ - tenya iida : he is so damn respectful. i know we all are aware of this fact already but i want to put emphasis on it. walking down the street, he'd always help an elderly person. walking in/out of a store, of course he'd hold the door for the person behind you. he never forgets his manners. this is your favorite part about him, all you can do is admire.

✮⋆˙ - hanta sero : sero is not afraid to make things for you. you having a bad day? oh, he actually made you guys matching bracelets. he has a bead and string collection because he knows you love jewelry. he's also great at origami, he's always available to give you something. he can definitely crochet. you still sleep with the fat elephant he made you. you think its adorable, and you keep everything he gives you.

✮⋆˙ mina ashido : you love it when she asks to dance with you. she holds her hand out to you with a grin before pulling you into a tight embrace. it doesn't matter what the fuck kind of music is playing, megan thee stallion or lana del rey, you two will be dancing. she asks you so unexpectedly, but you don't complain. there will never be a boring moment with mina.

✮⋆˙ : tsuyu asui : tsu isn't much of a talker, but that definitely changes once she's with you. you guys have occasional yap sessions, some of them pertaining to nothing specific at all, you two just talk just to talk. you wanna gossip? she's all ears. you have something on your mind you think is stupid? she needs to hear it. she always listens to you, even if what you say makes no sense. she's so interested in what you have to say, you never feel like you're talking to a brick wall when you're with her.

✮⋆˙ - ochaco uraraka : karaoke. car karaoke is your guy's personal favorite. only one of your hands on the wheel, all four windows down, music to the max. usually, you would find this embarrassing. but ochaco always seems so happy singing with you. katy perry, wave to earth, laufey, taylor swift, red velvet, any artist of your choice. she loves listening to music with you, often sharing earbuds. but she definitely prefers borderline screaming in the car with you. you secretly admire each other, taking short, (maybe not so short) glances at one another. the way she's enjoying herself makes your heart melt knowing how comfortable she is with you.

✮⋆˙ kyoka jirou : she obviously plays her instruments to you. you love when she shows you snippets on some things she's been working on. the way she's so passionate and absolutely amazing at the thing she enjoys leaves you in a trance. her voice is music to your ears, and a soft smile grazes her lips when she notices how hard you're staring at her. if she could play you songs forever, she definitely would.

✮⋆˙ momo yaoyorozu : like sero, her love language is gift giving. since she's rich, she used to often travel before attending U.A. she has countless souvenirs from a variety of other countries, some you didn't even know existed. she also loves taking you on shopping sprees, she doesn't mind at all. momo does so much for you, and all you can do to return the favor is show her an endless amount of affection. you feel guilty she does all this stuff for you, but she assures you that it's okay and she loves doing this for you and seeing you happy. your heart drops to your knees. (in a good way, of course. <3)

[ourimpavidheroine]

And here he is, guys, gals and nonbinary pals: His Majesty Hou-Ting LIV!

Wu

So listen, I can’t even begin to parse as to why I loved this smarmy, slangy, embarrassingly whiny little royal elbow leech. But I did. And then he rode in those badgermoles (a plot point that Bryan admitted he hated and didn’t want to do) and I was like I MUST WRITE ABOUT THIS LITTLE ASSHOLE.

I don’t know what to tell you. My brain is what it is.

Wu is so weird. He’s just weird. He’s 1000% clueless about normal life. He’s unimaginably rich - the Jeff Bezos of the Avatar world - and in Book 4 he has quite literally zero social skills.

After I had written Please Excuse My Penmanship Bryke came out and said they thought Wu was already in Republic City when the Earth Queen was assassinated, possibly going to boarding school or college. This never made much sense to me. I think it was one of those things they didn’t think through, they just put this very wealthy prince there in a hotel and didn’t worry about what got him there. (This was not the first time Bryke had done that.) I never bought that he was older; despite his sophisticated clothing and the fact that outside of Mako he’s on his own he screamed teenager to me. The Wu of Book 4 always seemed to me to be a kid who is trying very, very hard to act like what he thinks a sophisticated adult should be like. Which is why I put him at eighteen in Book 4. (I seem to be in the minority there, most other fanfic writers put him as older than Mako, even.)

It also never made any sense for me that this Crown Prince would speak as much slang as he did. I did a fair amount of research on Puyi, the last emperor of China (I saw the movie, The Last Emperor, when it came out in 1987 but I realize now it was a heavily whitewashed and historically inaccurate portrayal) and brought that into my Wu. True story: in 1921, when Puyi was fifteen, he had a telephone installed in the palace, under the mighty disapproval of his various advisors (and even his father). They didn’t want him having contact with the outside, modern world. Puyi was the emperor, however, so he got his own way in the end. And what did he do with this new phone, at first? He used it to make crank calls all around Beijing. Because he was the Emperor, yes, but also a fifteen year old boy. (A year or so later he used it to try and relocate imperial treasures outside of the palace for fear that he’d need an escape route outside of China, a fear that was absolutely justified.)

So I thought to myself, what would happen if you took an utterly and completely sheltered fifteen year old boy and threw him into the world, unsupervised? He’d cut off his queue, ditch his traditional clothing and start watching every single mover he could get his hands on, read every single cheap novel he could find, listen to every single sensational radio drama and base his personality on the heroes of those stories. And there he was, three years after being rescued out of the palace in Ba Sing Se, an eighteen year old refugee prince in Republic City, envisioning himself as one of the fictional heroes he was so fond of, halfway in love with his handsome bodyguard, in complete, terrified denial of the reality of what Kuvira is doing to his kingdom. 

Making him younger also serves to make him less of an asshole. We can forgive an eighteen year old twirling his walking stick and calling Mako his big tough guy and pretending he’s actually interested in the ladies (never mind being somehow good with them) far more easily than we can forgive a twenty-three year old doing it. Eighteen year old Wu doing what he did in Book 4 makes him a kid still figuring out his own way. Twenty-three year old Wu doing it makes him a clueless, uncaring creep. Those five years makes a difference at that age, for sure.

I made him smart; I made him politically astute. I gave him the kind of education a Crown Prince would have received with regards to politics, culture, history, international relations, etc. (Boarding school my ASS.) I created a backstory for him and the Hou-Ting family that heavily relied on the actual history of Imperial China. 

I had Huan tell him to knock off the slang because that shit was annoying and it needed to stop. You’re welcome.

He’s also ADHD as fuck. My Betareader says that reading his run-on sentences, heavily seasoned with obscure vocabulary, jumping from subject to subject is like listening to me speak. I do not deny this. I do not even try.

Is he still the guy that danced around Beyoncé-style at his truncated first coronation? Oh he is, he really is. Does he write himself that way in his diaries? Please. Of course not. Some of the fun of writing Wu is writing about him from other POVs; he’s the most unreliable narrator of ever. He’s vain, self-centered, prone to giving orders and expecting them to be obeyed (he’ll always be a King, let’s get this clear right now) but he’s also generous to a fault and, because he won’t have nannies (he’s afraid of having in-house staff because of the betrayal of his own personal staff when the palace was overrun) ends up doing the lion’s share of raising his four children, which does a lot to mature him and ground him in reality. He’s never going to be an average Joe, however. He’s never going to be normal. He’s an abdicated King. That does not equal normal in any universe, including ours.

Wu is a refugee. He lives in a country that is not his own. While he speaks the same language as those in Republic City, I’ve made sure to note that his accent/dialect are completely different. His culture and customs are different. His entire family is dead and the only person he has left from his childhood is the former Grand Secretariat Gun. (There’s another character I completely rewrote.) Wu is a profoundly lonely man, even in the middle of his noisy, loving family. He knows he is different; he’s aware that he will never really fit in, not really. As an immigrant myself, I know exactly how this feels and I have certainly brought that into his character.

Which leads us to this song, which to me is the ultimate Wu song. Retitle it “An Earth King in Republic City” and there you have it. (Not to mention I’m pretty sure Wu in his eighties would channel more than a little of Quentin Crisp.) This song has been his ever since I wrote Penmanship. He is the gentleman in this song.

I don't drink coffee I take tea my dear I like my toast done on one side And you can hear it in my accent when I talk I'm an Englishman in New York See me walking down Fifth Avenue A walking cane here at my side I take it everywhere I walk I'm an Englishman in New York I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien I'm an Englishman in New York I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien I'm an Englishman in New York If "Manners maketh man" as someone said Then he's the hero of the day It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile Be yourself no matter what they say I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien I'm an Englishman in New York I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien I'm an Englishman in New York Modesty, propriety can lead to notoriety You could end up as the only one Gentleness, sobriety are rare in this society At night a candle's brighter than the sun Takes more than combat gear to make a man Takes more than a license for a gun Confront your enemies, avoid them when you can A gentleman will walk but never run If "Manners maketh man" as someone said Then he's the hero of the day It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile Be yourself no matter what they say Be yourself no matter what they say Be yourself no matter what they say Be yourself no matter what they say Be yourself no matter what they say... I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien I'm an Englishman in New York I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien I'm an Englishman in New York

[blackaquokat]

I SAW THE LIGHTNING THIEF MUSICAL ON SUNDAY

Okay, so first off, the stuff that stood out to me, and then after the highlights, THE STORY OF A LIFETIME INVOLVING A CAST MEMBER THAT HAPPENED BEFORE THE SHOW EVEN STARTED 

This is going to be very long, strap in.

***Spoilers Under the Cut***

--Chris McCarrell, indeed, slides out to the edge of the stage and sits like, “Paint me like one of your French Girls, audience” for a full moment before singing.

--For a cast of SEVEN people, all of their voices fill that stage SO WELL.

--I’d only ever heard the soundtrack, but in the show (this time, anyway) Percy says he stopped Nancy Bobofit from “setting the first graders on fire” instead of preventing wedgies and it was just as if not more hilarious because his delivery was just totally stiff terror in the face of Mrs. Dodds.

--HE ACTED SO DEVASTATED WHEN HE THOUGHT MR BRUNNER THOUGHT HE WAS TROUBLE AFTER HE GOT EXPELLED, LIKE, HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO CRY, HIS VOICE SHOOK, MY BOOOOOII

--When Smelly Gabe appears, Percy not only covers his face with his shirt but also SPRAYS ACTUAL AIR FRESHENER behind the bastard’s back, I was on the FLOOR

--Chris mimics the body language of an awkward twelve year old so well. Fiddling with his jacket, looking down, awkward motions with his hands, he nailed it.

--SALLY IS STILL THE BEST MOM EVER AND THE MUSICAL CAPTURES HER STRENGTH AND LOVE AND AGENCY SO WELL, SHE TOTALLY GETS GABE TO BACK OFF OF PERCY AND IT’S GLORIOUS

--”Percy was attacked by a fury!” “What? Grover, YOU’RE THE FURRY!”

--Just before his mom is “crushed” by the Minotaur, Percy said, “Mom?” shakily and I was freaking SHOOK, MY FEELINGS

--During the first Dream Sequence, Poseidon comes down with the GOOFIEST grin and hands off the seashell. There’s this long, hilarious silence before he says. “It’s a seashell.” The audience couldn’t stop laughing up until Percy said, several beats later, “Like I said. Weird.”

--MR. D SHARPENING A PENCIL IN KATIE GARDNER’S FACE AFTER HER RANT ABOUT TREE RIGHTS

--During the entirety of Another Terrible Day, Percy is just standing in the back, slack-jawed, in a “What the Hell have I walked into” look

--Chiron does this hilarious dancy step with his feet to mimic the clip-clopping of horse steps and every time it got a laugh. 

--In the books, Luke is described as the Hot Boy of the Camp, that half the demigods are in love with him, and honestly, it’s one of the reasons I think James Hayden Rodriguez is perfect because you take one look at him and you’re like, “Yeah, I can see everyone falling in love with this guy in no time flat,” because aside from being REALLY attractive (like, damn boi, you’ve got amazing arms and face and just a LOT going for you) he’s so damn sweet and you want to trust and I DON’T THINK I EVER WANTED CANON TO CHANGE SO BADLY FOR HIM UNTIL THE MUSICAL CAME OUT

--Okay, so seeing Luke portrayed in this show made me care SO MUCH MORE about him than I did reading the books, which is a very strange feeling for me, ngl. His adorable interactions with Percy and Annabeth made me SO EMOTIONAL I MEAN

--Like, when Annabeth acts all suspicious about Percy, Luke is there to validate her skills and tease her and she teases him right back, like, you can definitely see she “likes” him and it could be interpreted that he feels something for her too, and he had such chemistry with Percy too, was endlessly supportive up until, you know, the end (I...may or may not be on board with this Tragic OT3, FRICK)

--OH ON THAT NOTE, when Grover finds Percy after the Minotaur, he’s all, “I’m sorry, Percy, I’m the worst Satyr Guardian ever” and Percy just HUGS HIM, “GROVER, I’m SO GLAD YOU’RE HERE” LIKE MY TWO BOIS I MISSED THEM

--”Grover, are you ever going to wear pants again?” followed by a gleeful “NOPE!!”

--Clarisse’s first two entrances involved this loud fighting yell before her song started

--Percy’s first time with his sword in Camp and he freaking made lightsaber noises when he swung, I read about it but I was NOT PREPARED, it was the cutest damn thing

--I was equally unprepared when Annabeth walked up behind him and when he turned and saw her and yelled out, “MY DREAM GIRL!!” Long beat of silence while the audience laughs their asses off, and he follows it up with, “I mean...you were the girl...in my dream...earlier...”

--When Percy says, “I love girls,” when Annabeth calls him out on assuming her dad was where she got her Godly heritage, Luke gives him the BIGGEST side-eye, it was adorable and Percy did his best to recover, but alas, he is but an awkward noodle.

--”Luke, Hermes kids are fast--” “Actually, that’s a stereotype--” I MEAN

--Percy sitting on the toilet and rolling it across the stage with his feet after the fight sequence, my God, what a visual.

--CHAPTER TITLE DROP, LUKE CALLS PERCY THE SUPREME LORD OF THE BATHROOM

--The Campfire Song was just amazing, everyone’s familiar body language with each other, Luke and Annabeth, Luke and Percy, Grover’s adorable little dance during his bit, everyone comforting him when he starts crying, everyone agreeing that “Chiron wins” in the shitty dad department, everyone’s sympathetic horror with every bad story they all tell,

--after Silena’s bit about how her mom “steals her mascara and all of her dates” she says to Katie, “She’s why I cry,” my sister and I can’t stop talking about how much we related to that moment (not about our mom, but more about our other relatives)

--When Percy is claimed, you can see the horror on everyone’s faces, but he doesn’t, and he’s like, “I’m...the son of the Sea God. That is so COOOOOL!!!” Then he realizes he just squealed like an anime girl and tries to recover by posing and saying to Luke next to him, “Hey,” in a very Miles Morales-from-Spiderverse kind of voice. 

--The dread on Luke’s face whenever he interacts with Percy from here on out, by the way, hurts me so much. You can tell every time he talks with Percy that he really doesn’t want to manipulate him, doesn’t want to do this, but he does, and even before the reveal, you can see how unsure and guilty he feels, even if Percy is totally clueless, like even when Percy agrees to go to the Underworld you see he’s THIS CLOSE to maybe trying to talk Percy out of it again and when Grover hops in to join the quest, there’s another layer of Luke going, “Oh no, not Grover too, shit, no!” and I SWEAR, JAMES HAYDEN RODRIGUEZ, IF THIS TURNS INTO A SHOW, YOU’RE THE ONLY LUKE I WANT

-- Mr. D: “WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT SOME TIN FOIL PROP THAT YOU’D FIND IN A BROADWAY MUSICAL”

--Percy yells for Mr. D to eat his pants in Latin. It’s amazing.

--Chiron: ”You must talk to” *everyone looks at the ceiling* “Our mummy.” Percy: “...when you say ‘mummy,’ you mean old-person slang for Mom, right?”

--Percy, in the most ‘I am so done’ voice ever: ”You’re expelling me? Again?!”

--This is turning into an appreciation post for Rodriguez, but for real, after Good Kid (which gave me ALL THE FEELS just like when I first heard it on the soundtrack), Luke goes to him with this nervous but genuine grin and laugh, like, “Hey, so when you’re the son of the Sea God, and you want to be left alone, maybe don’t go to the lake? It’s the first place anyone will look.” And they have this real sweet moment where Percy confides in Luke, and Luke validates his anger with the gods and says, “I’m not saying you owe them anything BUT” and if you’ve read the books or already listened to the show, you KNOW how this turns out but you see how SINCERE Luke is about Percy’s pain and his own pain and how much he obviously is already regretting that he has to manipulate Percy into going to the Underworld and DAMN IT CANON

-- Clarisse: ”Don’t get eaten by monsters!” Chiron: *claps hand over Clarisse’s mouth* “Have a great quest!”

--The immediate Squad Energy that Percy, Annabeth, and Grover embody right before the act break, what LEGENDS

--Act II opens up in the middle of Mrs. Dodds attacking the bus. Percy: “I LIKED YOU BETTER AS A MATH TEACHTER!!”

--Mrs. Dodds: ”PREPARE FOR ETERNAL SUFFERING!!” Percy: “I’M SUFFERING NOW!!”

--Cheerful Stoner Stranger from the bus just before the bus explodes into confetti: “Not my weirdest experience on a Greyhound!”

--I knew the show was low-budget going in, but I at least thought the squirrel would be a puppet not a freaking figurine that Sarah Beth Pfeifer sat next to in plain sight to voice, I was dying

--On that note, Annabeth visibly holds back laughter at Percy’s “that’s kinda nuts” joke, these idiot CUTIES

--Grover is the only one who catches onto Medusa, who is played by Chiron’s actor in DRAG, but not even in a funny way, it’s played straight (not that Medusa wasn’t hilarious, but that fact that it was a drag role wasn’t mocked at all)

--Annabeth starting to explain why Medusa hates her and muffling her words by drinking her bottle while Percy and Grover are NOT impressed

--Annabeth teaching Percy how to hold a sword better because this adorable dumbass just twirled the damn thing into his shoulder because he forgot it was sharp

--MY GRAND PLAN, MY GOD and intersecting it with Annabeth saying, “When boys screw up, Percy, they get a second chance” Like, this show pulled no punches, and then afterwards when he’s sending Medusa’s head to Olympus and signs Annabeth’s name next to his and she’s like, “WAIT NO STOP” and the “Impertinent” interaction that not only is in the books but also comes back at the end of the show HELL YEAH

--DRIVE. WAS AMAZING. It was my mom’s favorite on the soundtrack and it still is (although now Bring on the Monsters competes as her favorite)

--YOU CAN HEAR LUKE AGAIN WITH HIS HESITATION ABOUT SACRIFICING PERCY DURING THE STRANGEST DREAM REPRISE

--Grover: “Percy, you almost woke everyone up. Well, not Annabeth.” Annabeth, in her sleep: “Mom...you remembered my birthday...”  WILL THESE DEADBEAT GODS VISIT THEIR KIDS, I SWEAR---

--OKAY SO TREE ON THE HILL, LEMME TELL YOU

--On the second level, you see Annabeth, Luke, and Thalia re-enacting the scene while Grover narrates at the bottom and not only does Jorrel Javier look SERIOUSLY emotional and on the verge of tears for the whole thing, but at the top when Thalia is re-enacting her death, LUKE GOES TO REACH FOR THALIA TO SAVE HER AND ANNABETH PULLS HIM BACK AND THEN THEY JUST HUG EACH OTHER SO TIGHTLY BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO WATCH THALIA DIE AND THEN THEY STAND BEHIND THALIA AND REACH OUT THEIR ARMS TO SYMBOLIZE HER TURNING INTO THE TREE AND YA’LL I SHIT YOU NOT I ALMOST BURST INTO REALLY LOUD SOBBING I WAS NOT OKAY

--They did the Bathtub Story from the book. Every second that passed I was more in love with the show.

--Charon: ”Ya’ll wanna hear my song?” *choruses of refusals* “SORRY I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THIS SWEET ASS RIFF!!”

--DOA is just as much of a bop in person as it is on the soundtrack.

--OKAY SO, Percy is almost yanked into Tartarus with his winged shoes and the mood is like, SUPER SERIOUS, as they all realize he almost fell into the pit and when Annabeth says, “I think that’s Tartarus,” Percy says, in this confused but still scared and serious soft voice, “You mean like the fish sauce?” and just. Annabeth and Grover both. Annabeth looks at him like, “THIS is the idiot I’m going to fall in love with over the next four books,” while Grover just Facepalms so much he shoves his glasses up his forehead and shakes his head, another RELATABLE MOMENT that my sister and I won’t shut up about

--Hades. I just...there’s nothing else I can say, but Ryan Knowles, Sarah Beth Pfeifer, Jorrel Javier, Jalynn Steele, and James Hayden Rodriguez deserve about fifty Tonys for all the roles they do in this show, for real

--SON OF POSEIDON, WHAT A HYPE SONG, AND ALL THE TOILET PAPER DURING THE LAST NOTE IT WAS GLORIOUS IT COVERED HALF THE FLOOR AUDIENCE

--My Poseidon and Sally feels have returned with a vengeance. That Miles Morales moment with Percy that I mentioned earlier? Poseidon does the same thing when he sees Sally, and the two of them are just Vibing it up while Percy is between them like, “THIS IS SO WEIRD”

--As Poseidon leaves, he turns away from Sally and makes this fist bump gesture like, “Hell yeah, best time of my life was this woman right here”

--Percy, after Poseidon exits: “So that’s my dad?” Sally, in a very horny tone: “THAT’S your dad.” Like, GET IT, Sally

--Sally: “Oh, what is this package, Percy?” Percy, with a shit-eating grin: “Oh, it’s a...DIY Statue Kit” *Sally goes to open it* “WAIT NO DON’T IT’S MEDUSA’S HEAD!!” and the Grossed Out Look on her face as she exits the stage. Priceless.

--Luke is Very Obviously avoiding Percy when they return to camp. More on this later because My. Feels.

--Annabeth: “Hey Clarisse! We met your dad! He’s not as tough as you are!” Clarisse: “Hey, get back here! You saw my dad!” *slightly vulnerable voice* “Did he ask about me?”  YOU DUMBASS GODS, TALK TO YOUR DAMN KIDS WILL YOU???

--Annabeth and Percy grinning like idiots over Sally’s Medusified statue of Gabe, what cuties, I love that their romance wasn’t forced in the show, it was handled so gracefully because they are Twelve and in the Very Early Stages of their Undying Love for each other (and Luke, I promise you guys, all three of these idiots are in love with each other and it hurts me so much)

--OKAY SO PERCY RUNS UP TO LUKE CLEARLY EXPECTING TO BE COMFORTED AND TO SLIP INTO THEIR SWEET AND SUPPORTIVE DYNAMIC BUT THEN PLOT AND PAIN AND LAST DAY OF SUMMER HIT ME THE HARDEST ON THE SOUNDTRACK BESIDES TREE ON THE HILL AND IT DIDN’T DISAPPOINT

--And the hardest part? The way Rodriguez plays Luke, you really CAN’T be angry with him. I mean, there’s no justifying his actions because it’s freaking KRONOS, but given that we’ve been given the time to see what a great guy he was, how much he cared about the campers, how many he must have seen never come back from quests the Gods gave them, who feel abandoned by their parents, Luke’s own quest, how he watched Thalia die with little to no intervention from the Gods, how he must hate to see Annabeth killing herself to prove her worth to the Gods for a quest that could get her killed, and then Percy coming in after losing his mom and sympathizing with his justifiable bitterness towards the Gods, the show doesn’t shy away from the fact that the Gods are effed up and you just can’t blame Luke at ALL for how he feels about the Gods, but it makes everything hurt all the more.

--The Most Millenial/Gen Z ending ever, “We didn’t ask for this, we shouldn’t be the ones fighting this war, but if we don’t, we all die, so fine, we don’t want to do this, but no one else will, so here we are, ready to fight” and then Bring on the Monsters which is one of the best closing numbers to a show ever, I swear.

--All in all, the critics can suck it, this show has more heart and love and hilarity and depth than half the stuff on Broadway and the fact that it’s going to have such a short run is a Crime.

--I sincerely hope they can do another one, if at all possible. I would go watch it too if it’s made by the same creative team and the same actors (maybe even more actors).

OKAY NOW FOR MY STORY!!!!!!

So I had paid leave to use up, hence our trip to NYC last weekend, and we stayed in a hotel really close to the theatre. My sister and I, having been fans of the books for half our lives, were wearing Camp Half-Blood t-shirts. Anyway, we were so excited that we got there an hour and ten minutes early, and they weren’t letting anyone in for another half hour, so we decided to take a few pictures and go get a snack.

While we’re taking pictures, suddenly behind us my sister and I hear “TAKE ANOTHER ONE!!” so I turn around thinking What the hell and then have the biggest Brain Glitch of my life because it’s CHRIS FREAKING MCCARRELL WITH A COFFEE/SMOOTHIE THING AND A MUFFIN STANDING BEHIND US AS IF HE WAS JUST LA-DEE-DA-ING ALONG TO THE THEATRE AND DECIDED HE WANTED TO GIVE AN INNOCENT FAN A HEART ATTACK, because he could have just gone in and we wouldn’t have even noticed but NOPE HE CAME RIGHT UP TO US, AND I’M STILL IN SHOCK, NGL.

My gut reaction was to hug him and then I apologized because I hadn’t asked his permission and didn’t want to be That Person who didn’t respect boundaries (I am a very tactile, hugging kind of person and have to remind myself that not everyone is the same way, especially with performers) and he said I was fine and not to worry. My sister and I got a few pictures together with him and he asked if we were seeing the show that night, and we were, and he looked so pumped, and I got to tell him that I read Percy Jackson before Harry Potter and that it was my favorite book series and when he asked if I had listened to the soundtrack, My mom said yes, multiple times, but fondly, and he looked so excited that we were so excited to go that night.

So yeah. That happened.

And then after the show, we managed to catch Kristen Stokes on her way out, but we waited until she got to talk with and sign playbills for kids (there were so many kids in the theatre, it was adorable, even if the ones behind us kept crinkling their snack wrappers consistently during THE WHOLE SHOW which got annoying, ngl). My sister and I took a few with her and I got to tell her, also, that this was my favorite book series growing up and that she played Annabeth, a big role model for me, absolutely perfectly and she looked so touched. 

(Also, she was much shorter than me. I forget that even if I’m one of the shorter members of my family, I’m still pretty tall by usual standards.)

Anyway, WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE, PJO FANS, AM I RIGHT????

...I wanna see the show again, but idk what the chances of that happening are. If you haven’t seen it and have the ability to, I must encourage you to GO. PLEASE. GO SEE IT.

[creatingnikki]

Dearest Atlas,

That is a really fun choice for a pseudonym. Perhaps, your actual name? Unlikely but for the sake of this letter and me you’re Atlas irrespective. So, hello! You’re almost a decade younger to me and I must admit, I’m a little nervous to write you this love letter. I’ve never had an issue writing or interacting with people older to me by 3-4 decades even. But talking to someone younger always takes me back to when I was their age and how much I hated older people acting as though they knew better.

Of course, now after growing up I have realized that it’s just natural for you to know more and learn more as you live more (exceptions exist always and there’s not an equal increase in age and knowledge/wisdom, as we all know). I mean, compared to a 5 year old, you know so much more. But I think the one place where most adults go wrong is that instead of looking after those younger to them, they either patronize them or exploit them. Shouldn’t we, by default look after those younger to us? Protect them, so that they don’t lose their innocence and heart due to this shit world as early as we did? This sentiment is why I love a classic that most people don’t – The Catcher in the Rye by J.D Salinger. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. I will warn you that the narrator is annoying but his heart is in the right place and that’s the most important thing.

I guess since I’ve already started writing this letter my nervousness is out the window. Do forgive me if at any place I come across as preachy or pretentious. Know that isn’t one bit intentional.

You know how I know I’m no longer a teenager? Because I just spent 10 minutes looking up what LB(BT) means. I still don’t know but as per Google this is what it could mean:

Let’s be bored together (doesn’t fit the context as you said ‘I’m LB(BT)’)

Something related to LGBTQ+ (Is it?)

Lembaga Bela Banua Talino (Which is an Institute for Community Legal Resources Empowerment – umm probably not?)

When older people would be so clueless with slangs like LOL and TTYL and BRB 10 years ago I would think, ‘Are they serious? What’s not to get in that?’ But this is a WTF moment for me because I have crossed over to the other side, clearly. Anyway, now I’m quite curious so do let me know, please! Haha

Though, I do have a really embarrassing and silly story related to internet slang and ‘brb’. So this was back in 8th grade – 2010 – when I had just joined Facebook and had started to talk to this senior in school who I soon developed a crush on. Now, you need to know 2 things for context:

Back then everyone in school would type in “chat language” which was very “cool”. For instance, ‘What is up with you?’ would be typed as ‘wht is up wth u?’

This guy would use terms of endearment for me like sweetheart, darling, etc. *pukes*

So, for a whole week when we would chat, and he would use ‘brb’ during our conversation I had no idea what it was but I just assumed it was another term of endearment. Oh my god. Shall I even say it? Okay…so I thought it was….barbie. YES WHY WOULD HE CALL ME THAT. It’s bloody weird but my 14 year old brain worked in weird ways, and yes you’re a whole lot smarter than I was at 14, and I just assumed that. Why I continued talking to a guy who I thought called me ‘barbie’, I do not know. From entering the world of social media at 14 and not knowing slangs like the back of my hand to reaching here – writing a letter to a 14 year old and not knowing another slang’s full form – a I believe I have reached a full circle. Thank you? I think it’s very humbling but also grounding to realise how old you are or just how much time has passed by. Adulting is quite disorienting and moments like these are needed.

And thankfully, I know what you mean when you say you’re Wiccan. And I think that’s pretty cool! Around when I was 16 I read a Jodi Piccoult book about teen Wiccans and I was so fascinated that post that I did 3 things:

Convinced my friend to become Wiccan with me

Installed an app for spells

Convinced my mom to let me get a tattoo with a sentence from the Wiccan Rede

My friend ditched me, the spells on that app needed things that weren’t accessible to me and I was too much of a chicken to actually get inked (still don’t have a single tattoo!) and none of those things ever really materialised.  In yet another way you’re so much smarter than I was back then. I keep saying this not to be weird but to admire you and just express how in awe I am by certain things you mentioned.

Shall I just paste the Wiccan Rede here for everyone to see how beautiful and solid it is? Or perhaps the end of it that hit me the most?

“With a fool no season spend or be counted as his friend.

Merry Meet and Merry Part bright the cheeks and warm the heart.

Mind the Three-fold Laws you should three times bad and three times good.

When misfortune is enow wear the star upon your brow.

Be true in love this you must do unless your love is false to you.

These Eight words the Rede fulfill:

“An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will”

And the sentence I wanted to get a tattoo of? Any guesses?

Well – An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will.

While I didn’t get it, I do want to talk about it.

People will always tell you what to do and what to be and what to think and how to behave and what to not wear and what to see and what to not talk about. These people will be your friends, parents, teachers, siblings, relatives, strangers, lovers, the government, employers, enemies and bullies. A lot of them will be well-intentioned and that’s where it will get tricky. But you should always do what feels right to you. No matter who says what. Stand up for what you believe in no matter who or how many people are against it. That’s from the book To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee and another book that I highly recommend.

As you grow older, the lines between good and bad, black and white, brave and weak will quickly and confusingly blur. You’ll have to make a million choices, a lot of which won’t matter in a few years while some will stay with you for the rest of your life. And sometimes it will feel like you’re in a maze and thick fog (all the confusion between what’s right and what’s wrong) is surrounding you and there is this loud, piercing noise (other people’s voices) that won’t stop until you find your way out that maze. What’s waiting for you outside? Some people think it’s success, money, love, or even death. It really depends on how you see things and what’s the most important to you.

To me? I think what’s waiting out there for me is peace and truth. Lately, I’ve been able to find my way out but it’s only seconds until I’m dragged back inside. So, how to figure a permanent way out this maze is my journey next. I don’t know anything. No one knows anything. But yet people insist on pretending to know. And sometimes that’s important too (like at work). But I hope when you’re on your journey of figuring things out for yourself, you do what feels right to you and only remember – An ye harm none do what ye will.

A picnic with your friend family where everything was so happy sounds like such a precious and beautiful memory. I’m glad you got to experience that and I can only hope that while you navigate your way through the maze, you find such absolutely lovely and blissful moments in plenty. And as for your ex who sent you anon hate – so glad that such an ass is out of your life. As someone who has received a lot of nasty anon hate on tumblr, I know it hurts the most when you suspect (more like just know it) that it’s someone who used to be close to you. I guess that’s the other stuff hiding in the maze – bitterness and pain. But I think as long as you have a few people who have the best interests for you at heart who hold your hand and figure the way out together, you’re going to be okay.

So, Atlas, I do think this turned out to be a tad bit didactic but know that’s only because the part inside of me that’s still 14 is cheering on for you and sending you much love.

xoxo

Nikki

PS I know I’ve given you 2 book recs already but here’s a third one cos I think you’d quite like it – Undead Girl Gang by Lily Anderson. It’s a book about two high school best friends who are Wiccans and one of them kills herself and the other uses a spell to bring her back to live temporarily to figure out what really happened.

Guys, February is 29 days of love letters. I’m writing love letters, as part of The Love Project, and if you’d like me to write one to you, drop me an email at creating.nikki@gmail.com

There are 10 more spots left, and you can still be a part of it if you’d like :D

I wrote this letter for Atlas based on some questions they answered. You can read their answers here.

[hopeidontabandonethis]

Personality Switch AU

Roman and Logan are quite lively in this AU.

Roman

The second oldest side. Born right before Patton in the mindscape.

The shortest of them all.

Have a Tatto with the beginning of the rainforest lyrics on his back

Have a Vocab Jornal to write down everything Logan teaches him (the journal is separated into three sessions “Intelectual”, “nonsensical slangs” and “Probably Disney Related”)

Uses two swords. One of them is poisoned.

Always loves the universe! And the stars!

A very, very curious boy.

Want Thomas to be a writer. Or a journalist. Or a scientist. Or a painter. Or a Detective. Or an astronaut-

Have too many ideas of what he wants to be. Changes every month or so.

Is always full of work because Thomas finds comfort in fantasy and Thomas is always needing a scape.

Doesn’t know the meaning of the word Sleep. Work to the point of collapsing all the time.

Angry and easily annoyed boy. Will not tolerate bullshit.

Extreme perfectionism. Get disappointed a lot but never gives up.

Writers blocks pain him greatly. If prolonged he might have panic attacks.

An asshole without even noticing.

Constantly stop Thomas daydreaming sessions because “This daydream is poorly constructed” and “There are too many plot-holes, let's restart”

Keeps Thomas awake at 3 am with ideas

Surprisingly clueless when it comes to feelings. Need to collab with Patton and Logan to create emotional dialogues between characters.

Used to fight the Dragon Witch whenever the creature attacked his library but was quick to notice no matter how many times he won, the Witch would always come back, so he took a different approach. He tried to kill the beast.

It took seven weeks to kill the Dragon Witch. Their last battle leaving Roman right hand badly burned. The ugly scar covered from the tip of his fingers to the end of his pulse. He lost his feelings on that hand but thankfully not his control over the member.

Doesn’t really like the look of his burned and wrinkled hand, so he uses gloves to hide it.

Is soft with Patton but only with Patton.

Loves a wide variety of subjects, legends, documentaries, movies, and books. Clearly enjoy Patton company but never acknowledged him as his friend.

Have way too many ideas and write all of it down. Most are goods ideas but because of his constant state of exhaustion they usually have no substance, creating wonderful sci-fi stories that lack a beginning or fantasy characters with beautiful designs but no name.

Likes to exchange ideas with Patton and, tell Logan about his projects.

Thinks the Logical side is a complete moron but since he respects knowledge and is very eager to learn new words to put on his Vocab Jornal, he doesn’t say it nearly as much as he could.

Okay, that was a lie. He constantly reprimands and screams at Logan.

Have very ticklish ribs.

Considers being ticklish embarrassing and is appalled the other sides may discover his “weakness” someday. Hates hugs because of it.

A Rap God. Can adapt any song into a rap.

Very oblivious. Is the reason Thomas doesn’t know how to flirt (and only knows Thomas is being flirted at because of Logan’s loud screams of joy.)

Doesn’t have the word “Self-care” on his Vocab Jornal so Patton is always at least a little worried about him.

Logan

The youngest and tallest of the boys.

Thinks he is the most important side. Is actually the least powerful.

Overly emotional but still smart (at times)

Have a huge sense of justice and want to use his knowledge to make the world a better place!

Loves Disney! Is always analyzing and deconstructing all the movies!

Knows everything about Disney. Made intricate theories about it more than once.

A great singer! Learn anything better when people sing for him (the ABC song was his anthem on Thomas kindergarten days)

A blind and gay mess. Can’t see anything one meter away from him.

Just a mess in general.

Should be wearing glasses but hates the esthetic so he suffers.

It took stepping on one of Patton precious Disney CDs (both Logan and Patton cried for ten minutes at the murdered CD, which caused Virgil to cry too and make everyone anxious) to convince the creative side to create extremally good contact lenses for Logan.

Had a gay crisis after using said contact lenses and seeing his fellow sides in HD

Is very offended by Roman hair and took it upon himself to brush that mess at least once a week. (The fact that the small side tries to get angry but is visibly soothed by Roman brushing his hair have absolutely nothing to do with it. Nothing at all!)

Appreciates that Patton can keep Virgil calm enough to not drown everyone in anxiety waves but still dislikes the closed-off heart.

Wants to proclaim his sexuality to the world to increase the percentage of cute guys noticing Thomas as an available partner but is completely shut off by Patton.

 Always wants to raise his hands and answer every question in the middle of class to wow his classmates with his knowledge and increase the positive affection directed towards his hero, Thomas! But get turned down by Patton every single time.

Keep arguing with Patton but is scared of going too far. (Virgil is the only thing that keeps him at bay when it comes to fighting the others)

Is terrified of Virgil. The anxious side has the power to completely silence him and Logan really hates to be silent.

Loves to listen to Roman little stories and enjoy trying to add a more Disney spin to it (most of the time they can work together and is wonderful!)

May or may not have a crush on Roman (what can he say, Roman may be grumpy cat most of the time but he is a very charming and sharp fella)

Think Roman should write more romance but oh well…

Since the only other romantic side (Virgil) is someone he considers a Villain, Logan is constantly suffering.

Uses a majestic red feather instead of a pencil to do his annotations because he is extra.

Doesn’t work well under pressure. Is a mess on exams seasons.

Have a very good memory

Can speak more than 15 different languages

Can also speak fluent Old English (Shakespearian English)

Switched Virgil and Patton here

Tag List: @sticksandanxiety . @sammy-mynott . @always-in-a-fandom .  @star-prince-charlie . @starbucks-remy . @grumpyvitti . @coralflower-ao3 . @kittiebrick

[chibinightowl]

Is Star Trek AU Timkon okay?

It’s more than okay, even though I’m not the best when it comes to Star Trek. Here’s my first attempt at TimKon!

~*~*~

Tim sits quietly in the corner of the massive study hall, researching information on the Romulans for his xeno-politics class. It’s interesting and all, but it’s not exactly why he joined Starfleet. His core curriculum is science and engineering, not politics. Still, it’s a class all cadets have to take so he may as well make the most of it.

It would all be much easier if his partner for this particular assignment ever tears himself away from his adoring fans and deigns to cross the room to do his homework. Tim knew when his teacher assigned Kon-El to be his research partner that this would happen. The prince of the House of El is the first Kryptonian to ever apply for Starfleet, so there’s already a ton of attention on him. He seems to thrive on it though and almost always has a crowd around him while in public.

Tim wonders how anyone can live like that.

The study hour is almost over by the time Kon-El joins him. “Heya, Drake! What’s shakin’?”

Tim pointedly glances at his watch. “You’re late.”

“What? No, I’m not!” Kon-El protests.

“Yes, you are.” Tim starts packing up his things. “I’ve got class to get to. Perhaps you can try again tomorrow.”

“Aw, come on, Drake. Don’t be like that.” Kon-El crosses his arms and pouts charmingly. “I gotta pull my own weight around here.”

“Then pull it instead of spending all your time flirting. I don’t have time to wait for you.” With that parting shot, Tim starts walking away.

Or he tries to, but Kon-El catches him by the shoulder. Tim glares at the touch but the prince ignores him. “What is your problem?” he asks crossly. “Don’t you know who I am?”

Tim smirks somewhat viciously. “You’re Cadet Kon-El. That’s the only title that matters here.”

The punch comes out of nowhere and Tim flies back across the table he’d just been working at. But he manages to roll at the end and lands on his feet rather his ass unceremoniously on the floor. “Something wrong, Cadet?” he snarls.

“You will address me accordingly,” Kon-El snaps, his blue eyes blazing in fury. He starts to round the table.

“No, he addressed you correctly, Cadet. Stand down.”

Tim comes to attention at the sight of Admiral Wayne standing behind the Kryptonian prince. Kon-El slowly turns around and stiffens when he sees the man. It had been Admiral Wayne who negotiated the current treaty with Krypton and is said to be good friends with their king, Kal-El.

“Admiral Wayne,” Kon-El bites out accordingly. He still doesn’t salute him.

“Cadet Drake, at ease. Care to explain why Cadet Kon-El felt the need to punch you in a room full of people?”

Tim swallows but answers without stuttering. “I refused to call him prince, sir.”

Admiral Wayne’s pale blue eyes land back on Kon-El. “While you are in Starfleet, you will be addressed by Starfleet rank only. You know this.”

“I do, but…”

“But what?” It’s clear the Admiral isn’t about to buy whatever excuse he’s about to be sold.

Tim waits to see if Kon-El picks up on it too.

He doesn’t. “But he’s being rude.”

Admiral Wayne’s attention shifts to Tim. “Were you?”

He shrugs. “I’ve been waiting for over an hour for him to help with his part of our group project. He didn’t even make his way over to the table until I started packing up for my next class. I may have been a bit impatient but I don’t think I was rude.”

Kon-El tries to protest again but Admiral Wayne holds up a hand, effectively silencing him. “I see. Cadet Drake, you’re dismissed. Cadet Kon-El, come with me.”

Tim doesn’t have to be told twice. He bolts.

~*~*~

The next day as Tim leaves his dormitory, Kon-El is standing in front of the building sans his typical entourage. It’s clear he’s pissed off if the scowl on his face is any indication.

What a great way to start the day.

Tim tries to evade him but the other man catches up quickly. He doesn’t say anything but takes a place at Tim’s side.

“What’s going on?” he finally asks after the Kryptonian prince doesn’t speak up.

Kon-El looks like he’s swallowed a bitter pill. “Admiral Wayne says I’m to follow you around and learn how you do things. He spoke very highly of you and said I could learn from you.”

Tim stops short. “You’re joking.”

“Nope.”

“Well, shit.”

“That’s what I said.”

Kon-El shadows Tim closely for a month. The only time they were apart was at night when they returned to their respective dormitories. What surprises Tim the most by the end of the month is that he’s actually come to like the guy. Kon-El, or Kon as he prefers to be called by people he considers friends, has a killer sense of humor, if somewhat crude, but they both chalk that up to Kryptonian being a rather stilted language and not everything translates correctly. They learn a lot about each other, which is probably what Admiral Wayne intended when he stuck them together.

“I guess today’s your last day with me,” Tim says over dinner in the cafeteria. They’ve got a small table tucked away in the corner by the window, his preferred spot.

“Yeah,” Kon replies lazily, but he’s poking at his food, a sure sign that he’s distracted.

“Any plans for the return of your free time?” Tim asks carefully. He’s fairly certain he didn’t upset the other man but while he’s learned a lot about Kryptonian culture in the last month, he’s by no means an expert.

Kon glances at him and smirks. It makes Tim’s stomach tremble ever so slightly as butterflies stir. There’s no mistaking the intent behind those inhumanly blue eyes. “Oh, I got plans. I’m going to ask someone out on a date.”

Cue the disappointment. Of course Kon wouldn’t think of Tim like that. They’ve just barely managed to become friends. “Oh?” Tim tries to sound uninterested and thinks he succeeds.

“Yep,” Kon states. He’s clearly pleased. “I’ve been wanting to for over a month, but didn’t have the…balls?” Earth slang is still a work in progress for him.

Tim nods faintly. Over a month. Definitely no chance of it being him then. “Well, good luck with that. I hope they say yes.”

Kon’s still eyeing him closely but there’s a hint of a laugh he’s trying to hide. “I hope so too.”

~*~*~

Tim wakes up feeling like he barely slept the night before. Glancing at the time, he grimaces. That’s because he didn’t. He isn’t looking forward to seeing who will be gracing Kon’s arm for the foreseeable future.

This is why caffeine is a thing. Tim chugs his coffee as he dresses and makes himself presentable. Starfleet doesn’t tolerate slovenliness and while his heart may feel like it’s breaking, his head is already telling him to snap out of it.

Outside, Tim blinks against the surprisingly clear morning, very uncommon for San Francisco. The sun is just bright enough he wishes for a pair of sunglasses. He starts walking but is pulled up short when a strong hand grasps his shoulder.

“Dude, where’re you going?”

It’s Kon.

Tim whips around in surprise. “Kon?”

“Morning!” his friend replies brightly and slings his arm over Tim’s shoulders. “I got you coffee.”

This is a first. “Thanks?” Tim asks warily. “What are you doing here?”

Kon shakes his head. “You really are clueless, aren’t you?”

“About what?”

“About this.” Kon leans over and places a warm kiss on Tim’s cheek.

Tim knows he’s blushing bright red. He can’t help it. It’s a thing with him. “Oh,” is all he manages to squeak out. “You like me?”

“Yeah. That day in the study hall? I was asking everyone what’s the best way to ask a human out on a date.”

“Oh,” Tim says again. “But you punched me that day.”

“I was nervous and then I got mad when it seemed you didn’t like me. At all.” Kon tugs Tim closer as they start walking.

“So you punched me?” Tim’s voice gets stronger as his indignation grows. “That a Kryptonian thing?”

“It’s a me thing,” Kon admits with a wave of his free hand. “So, you want to go on a date?”

Tim stalls by sipping his coffee. Kon is incredibly close and looks so hopeful…”Yeah. I do.”

“Great! Do you like pin-ball? I found this old fashioned arcade…”

[rockinrpmemes]

❝Clueless❞ meme

Change the pronouns and situations to fit your muse/s!

Okay, so you’re probably going: “Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?”

We were both named after famous singers of the past, who now do infomercials.

He’s a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand ticket-holding friend of Dorothy, know what I’m saying?

He does like to shop. And the boy can dress.

Daddy's so good he gets $500 an hour to fight with people. But he fights with me for free, because I'm his daughter.

I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M’s and like 3 pieces of licorice.

AS IF!

Oh my God.. I’m totally buggin’!

Where’s my white collarless shirt from Fred Segal?? It’s my most capable looking outfit!

You’re just a virgin that can’t drive.

Isn’t my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.

Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.

I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don’t get how guys dress today.

They just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? 

Do you prefer fashion victim or ensemble-y challenged?

He does dress better than I do, what would I bring to the relationship?

Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. 

He said he’d call the next day, but in boy time that meant Thursday.

It’s like that book I read in the 9th grade that said, “‘Tis a far, far better thing doing stuff for other people.”

Speaking of vehicular sex, perhaps you can explain how this cheap K-Mart hair extension got into the backseat of your car?!

Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.

What's with you, kid? You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack?

Let's do a lap before we commit to a location.

It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day.

Shit, you guys, I have never had straight friends before!

I don’t want to do this anymore. And my buns, they don’t feel nothin’ like steel.

‘A Monet’ is like a painting, see? From far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess.

Sporadically. It means once in a while. Try to use it in a sentence.

You know, If I ever saw you do anything that wasn't 90% selfish, I'd die of shock.

That’s Ren and Stimpy. They’re way existential.

I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies’.

Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex. 

Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.

The PC term is “hymen-ly challenged.”

You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.

My plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.

I could really use some sort of “herbal refreshment.”

I have asked you repeatedly not to call me "woman".

Okay, but, street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. 

Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily in misogynistic undertones.

I totally paused!

I mean, standing in line for 40 minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree gum.

Some teachers are trying to low-ball me. And I know how you say: "Never accept a first offer", so I figure these grades are just a jumping off point to start negotiations.

Look, I'm just curious. How many hours a day do you spend grooming yourself?

She's my friend because we both know what it's like for people to be jealous of us.

If I'm too good for him, then how come I'm not with him?

Would you look at that body language? Legs crossed towards each other. That is an unequivocal sex invite.

[jasooskutty]

Interview

Sudheer adjusted his tie. He rarely wore one, but this is an interview for a job, that too for a store manager. He lost his job a few months ago. His former company shut down a few divisions. They blamed it on the coronavirus, the lockdown, the sinking sales.

This interview is important. These days the classified pages in The Time of India are erratic. There was a time they came as a 32-page supplement, now they are hardly two pages inside the main sheet, and most are for teachers. Having applied for many positions, he has finally got a reply. A proper reply, not an auto-generated one. One with a zoom meeting id and pass code.

A few years ago, this meeting would have taken him to Delhi with reimbursement for sleeper class train fare. In Covid times a 40 minute chat on computer will do the trick.

The computer buzzed. Ramesh Kumar, the GM, was online. The name sounded familiar. A very common one, so hard to place a face to it. If it was a Thamarakshan or a Nalinakshan, there was no question of forgetting. But names like Rajesh, Ramesh, Rakesh…. They could be anyone.

“Good morning Sudheer. How are you?”

“I am fine sir.”

“We gather from your CV that you are jobless right now.”

“Sir, you know these are troubling times. Downsizing, upgrading…”

“You seem to have some experience in running warehouses.”

“Yes sir, I used to work in a C&F warehouse in Delhi.”

“That is what we are looking for. We have some space in Kochi. We have tieups with a few companies. Basically we will run C&F for them from this one warehouse.”

“Sir is this an existing business?” “Not quite. We need someone who knows Hindi. Someone who can handle the labour.”

“I am proficient in Hindi.”

“Most of the labour will be from Bengal, Jharkhand and Odisha.”

“Not a problem, sir.”

“They can be handful for someone who doesn’t know their language. Communication is the key.”

“From ulloo ka patha to MC-BC, I have it all covered. Not an issue sir.”

“Sudheer, you are from Paravur, is it?”

“Yes sir”

“Where in Paravur? Which school did you go to?”

“Vazhikulam, I went to Pullamkulam school.”

“I too am from Paravur. I went to Samooham school.”

“I thought I had met you somewhere, that is why,” Sudheer tried to stretch his memory. ‘Who exactly is this chap?’

“You were into politics, if I am not wrong”

“We were clueless sir. Those days we were stupid. I am totally out of politics now,” Sudheer dodged the bullet. Trade unionism is the last thing you want to be linked to if you want a job in the private sector.

“Nothing to worry Sudheer. But I do remember one fight you got into.”

Sudheer didn’t know which direction the conversation was heading.  

“One near Poosharippadi. You guys were terrific.”

“Oh that one. We got into that brawl as a friend sought help. Had no clue what it was about. We just bashed up the guy.”

“That is the thing about friendship. One doesn’t question friends,” Ramesh said, “And you were a hero that day.”

“Sir I won’t brag about that. But the guy had it coming. You don’t come to our area and take panga with us. See sir I know Hindi slangs pretty well.”

“You gave him quite a pasting”

“Haan sir, now when I think about it I don’t remember his face. Actually we didn’t get to see his face at all. We were busy kicking him.”

“Oh, no wonder you didn’t recognise me.”

Sudheer’s face turned pale but he soon regained  his composure.

“To be fair to you sir, you were very brave. Never seen anyone fight like you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You held your ground against the five of us. Normal people would have crapped in their pants.”

“What are you doing in the stores, you should be in the sales division,” Ramesh laughed.

When the call ended, a voice came from the kitchen. “I have told you many times ‘don’t pick up fights, don’t fight up fights’ but you won’t listen. Now suffer,” shouted Sudheer’s wife.

Sudheer is an optimist. He is brushing up his sales skills now.  

[blackjacketmuses]

hc; braig 8

(What energizes and drains them most?)Honestly, it’s a bit of a paradox – getting others to react to him, getting them to protest and spit back and just…getting reactions out of people, that energizes him. He likes being reacted to, he likes being a part of things, and the more people react the more energy they feed him. But at the same time, putting on that act for too long starts to drain him. It’s tiring being That Guy all the time, not being able to really let anyone know what’s going on in his head. It’s the price he’s paying for his secrets and his deal, and he can’t keep that smile up all the time.

(How are they vocally expressive? What kind of voice, accent, tones, inflections, volume, phrases and slang, and manner of speaking do they use?) He has a super weird accent. I know my Braig’s is different from how you hear it in the game, honestly? My Braig’s first language was Aire – basically Irish Gaelic. He spent seven years learning whatever Common tongue the worlds have, but even so, he still has a pretty thick Irish brogue (Mimir from God of War 4) to his voice. He tries to, y’know…tone it down mostly, and it has toned down given his twenty years in the Garden and as a Nobody, but it’s still a big part of how he sounds and his voice, and it gives him a very unique voice. His speech patterns are casual and pretty unique, too – he drawls, he throws slang terms in everywhere, and his voice is so very expressive. He talks with his voice and his hands and the way he pitches his voice, the way it goes up and down in volume, it’s very expressive. It’s incredibly difficult to tell he’s a Nobody by voice alone.

(How do they behave within a group? What role(s) do they take? Does this differ if they know and trust the group, versus finding themselves in a group of strangers? Why?) While Braig’s never been one to be a leader, if he’s familiar with the group he might feel more comfortable taking charge or putting his opinion in forcefully. If he’s familiar, he’ll be the Fool, basically, the one that pokes holes in all the bad ideas and the one with the courage to tell the leader their ideas are shit and offer alternatives. He’s pretty good with advice and surprisingly wise, though he prefers taking a backseat to others, he’ll be happy to play second fiddle. If he’s with strangers, though, he’ll avoid that, preferring to sit back and watch the group dynamics – he wants to know where everyone stands and where he’ll stand, and who to side with, who’s dangerous and who’s the safe bet. He’ll let them do their thing until something comes up he feels like he needs to step in and handle. Though if he gets fed up quick, he’ll basically take over the group and take charge on his own.

(How do they view and feel about relationships, and how might this manifest in how they handle them, if it does?) Relationships are mega important to him. He puts family first, he always has. It’s something he learned from his own parents, and their parents, and so on. Family first. Family ties mean everything. It’s a bit of a double-edged sword, because while it means he treasures the people important to him, it also means that it’s kind of ingrained in him that blood family is on a level above found family. He loves the family he’s chosen, more than anything, because they were there when he needed them and they helped him when he needed help, and they gave him a home, but– in the end he chose his blood family, because of his beliefs, and that’s why it all went wrong. Other than that, he’s deeply loyal to the people he cares about, and the more he cares the more likely he is to give you shit and poke holes in your ego, because that’ just what he does. If he cares he’ll make sure in his own way that you’re alright, while if he doesn’t you can just go walk off a cliff for all he cares.

(What are they likely to do if they have the opportunity, resources, and time to accomplish it? Why?) There’s only one thing he’d be dead-set on doing if he had the all the means and time to do it. Find his son. And once that’s done, only then will he turn on Xehanort and tear him down for what he’s done to himself and his friends.

(Is there anything that counts as a “dealbreaker” for them, positively or negatively? What makes things go smoothly, and what spoils an activity or ruins their day? Why?) Well, he doesn’t like being collateral damage– *shot* Seriously, though, he hates when people leave things out or don’t give him a clear picture of what’s going on. Set the terms out clearly, don’t bullshit him. What exactly do you want and what are you giving him? Be clear and don’t do this whole fine print shit. He hates that. Other than that, people not listening to him kind of pisses him off, especially when he’s obviously the more experienced person of the two. And naivete irritates him, especially childish naivete. Innocence, too much innocence, cluelessness…he hates dealing with children, especially children that act like children, who don’t understand things. It’s not because he doesn’t like children, it’s really the opposite. He doesn’t want to deal with the memories having to be around kids brings up. He never really enjoyed putting up with Roxas and Xion on missions because of it. He’d tease them in the Grey Area, but he hated missions. It’s why he was also iffy around Ienzo, too. Things go smoothest when either he’s so in-tune with you that you don’t need to communicate battle plans much, you can just go, or if he’s comfortable joking around with you, so it’s more of a casual banter than a chore or a job.