#he's supposed to be sarcastic and sassy

[buggitino]

more headcanons about sebastian solace from the hit game pressure roblox

back on my bullshit and i promise i only talk about The Situation a little bit

☆ his third arm is more sensitive than the other two (i'm thinking that either the USHD doctors fucked something up during the operation OR it grew in wrong, nerve endings closer to the epidermis and whatnot, something like that)

☆ just hates being touched in general, he’d rather initiate that contact (need an update where he gently —> not very gently shakes expendables off (depending on whether and how much they’ve annoyed/flashbanged him) when they climb him) ☆☆ part of this is due to trauma, he cant trust anyone to touch him without hurting him ☆☆ the other part is that he’s got that fucking dawg in him (i’ll get to this in a second)

☆ unlike what his new voice lines are starting to suggest about his character (i’m not gonna talk about zerum again because i think everyone knows what's happening at this point and ive already thrown in my two cents) he does NOT hate the expendables. literally his first line upon meeting him in his shop has him calling himself your friend (as strained of a connection as it may be, he could very easily not offer items, not share documentation/info, and just take the expendables data and hoard anything he picks up to make it harder for them to get to the crystal) (like yes, it's a mutually beneficial relationship but if sebastian didn't care about or sympathize with the expendables to some extent, it wouldn't be). i really do think he just has a short fuse (i'm not going to bring up trauma again, however-) and says things he doesn't mean (e.g. “they deserved it. and frankly so do the rest of you.” (im coping with the mischaracterization of these new lines leave me alone)) as a means of protecting himself and pushing the expendables further away (both physically and emotionally)

☆ he’ll act like a brat once they’re done, but he lets younger expendables sleep in his shop (he cares about them but would never in a million years let them know that) ☆☆ if a younger one comes in with a bunch of adult expendables, he’ll treat them all the same but will secretly slip the younger one some extra batteries, gauze, something unnoticeable (he feels especially responsible for the younger male expendables cause they remind him of his little brother)

☆ sometimes he thinks he can hear his family's voices on the radio, just under all the static, calling out for him like a search party would. he used to cry over this but he almost got caught once by an expendable coming into the shop so he does his best to tune it out. it’s hard. guilt pulls at his stomach every time he hears a clip of his family, begging for him to come home, to respond, something, anything, and he ignores it.

☆ autism (cause i said so) - i'm including this one for the sole reason that he does the dinosaur thing with his third arm and generally keeps his hands clasped together in the secret dinosaur position (he just like me fr) ☆☆ hates bright lights (the only light he uses/allows in his shop is the one he emits) (its a very soft/warm hue as opposed to the bright fluorescents throughout the rest of the facility) (not to bring up the flash beacon, obviously nobody likes getting flashbanged and he's got angler eyes but sTILL)

☆ he used to hate eating fish (pre-op) and now he’s pissed cause it’s all he has available and the DNA changes made it so fish is the yummiest tastiest thing in the world (i like imagining him actively fighting the urge to eat whatever fish he’s cooked in one bite cause he refuses to acknowledge that he's changed on a level that isn't physical/appearance-based)

☆ calls grown adults “kiddo” (even the ones that are older than him) ☆☆ he gets a certain kind of joy from seeing the 40/50/60 year old expendables try to figure out just how old he is after they get called “kiddo”. it’s extra fun for him when they’ve clearly already heard the rumors and/or gotten a glimpse of his file

☆ the ring is just an accessory, a bracelet on the floor or in a locker he found and liked. assumed nobody was gonna claim it and kept it (shoutout to @/lotus.eaterr on tik tok for this one!!!!)

[chaellooo]

Just a lovely fun fact about Garmadon in spinjitsu brothers,,

GARMADON IS THE JEALOUS TYPE!! JEALOUS HUSBAND CONFIRMED!! If Garmadon acted like this to a girl he had a crush on before, then he definitely had a jealous moment like this with Misako,, possibly with her and Wu,,

Uhh uh.. jealous oni dragon hybrid monster husband...man misako is so y/n coded

[prairietime]

how it feels to find an author for a fandom who doesn’t horribly mischaracterize your favs +has a backlog of just your kind of fics

[enha-doodles]

slytherin boys reacting to their darling being from Ravenclaw?👀

SLYTHERIN GUY'S REACTION TO YOU BEING IN RAVENCLAW | ✧⁺。

Pairing : (Mattheo , Tom , Theodore, Lorenzo , Draco) x reader

Note : tysm for requesting i hope you like it , Hufflepuff is next 🕺🏻🕺🏻

Warning : not proofread, my jokes lmao

MATTHEO RIDDLE

Being with Mattheo is like living in a perpetual comedy sketch. Every time you dazzle him with your Ravenclaw wit, he can't help but playfully roll his eyes and joke about feeling like a first-year struggling with a broomstick. "Seriously, babe, how do you do it?" he'd exclaim, his amusement clear in his eyes. "You've got more brainpower than a room full of Hogwarts professors, and here I am, struggling to remember which potion turns a mouse into a snuffbox."

Despite his self-deprecating humor, you can see the genuine admiration in his eyes, knowing that he's completely smitten with your cleverness. And hey, if being the smart one in the relationship means you get to see that adorable look of amazement on his face, then maybe being a Ravenclaw isn't so bad after all.

TOM RIDDLE

Tom, on the other hand, is a different story altogether. With his competitive nature and Slytherin pride, he can't stand the thought of being outsmarted by anyone, especially his own girlfriend. Every time you happen to know something he doesn't, he's quick to brush it off with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Oh, so you think you're the expert now, do you?" he'll say, a hint of annoyance creeping into his voice. "Just remember who's supposed to be the genius in this relationship."

Despite his competitive edge, you can't help but find it amusing how seriously he takes it all. After all, who knew that trivia night with your boyfriend would turn into a high-stakes battle for intellectual supremacy?

THEODORE NOTT

Theodore, on the other hand, couldn't be more different. He absolutely adores your cleverness, finding your sassy remarks and witty banter completely irresistible. "My darling beauty with brains," he'll say, flashing you a charming smile. "You keep me on my toes, love, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

With Theodore, every conversation feels like a game of verbal chess, with each witty comeback and clever remark only adding to the sparks flying between you. And hey, if being a smartass means getting to see that adorable grin on his face, then sign you up for Ravenclaw house forever.

LORENZO BERKSHIRE

Lorenzo, with his laid-back demeanor and sharp sense of humor, finds your intellect both amusing and slightly irritating at times. "Do you ever turn that brain off, or is it just permanently stuck in overdrive?" he'll tease, though there's a fondness in his eyes that tells you he wouldn't have it any other way.

Despite his occasional annoyance, you know that he secretly loves your quick wit and sharp mind, even if it means enduring the occasional eye roll or sarcastic remark.

DRACO MALFOY

And then there's Draco, the epitome of Slytherin arrogance and charm. While he may grumble about your Ravenclaw intelligence, secretly, you know he's secretly impressed by your cleverness. "Bloody hell, can't you dumb it down a bit ?" he'll joke, though there's a hint of genuine awe in his tone. "But hey, I guess it's better than having a girlfriend who thinks Quidditch is a type of biscuit."

With Draco, every conversation feels like a battle of wits, with each snarky remark and witty comeback only adding to the undeniable chemistry between you. And while he may be a bit of a brat at times, you wouldn't have him any other way. After all, what's a little friendly rivalry between Slytherin sweethearts?

。　　　　✧　　　　⁺　 　 　。

[pearlzier]

────⠀ ⠀SKATER.ᐟMATT × RICH.ᐟREADER

RICH.ᐟREADER ,, cheetah print. takes no shit. expensive taste. silver jewelry. fur, fur, fur. lip gloss. megan thee stallion coded. always got a sassy comment. knows all the drama. still sheltered despite everything. bad bitch.

SKATER.ᐟMATT ,, beanies. backwards caps. baggy everything. cuts and bruises from skating. never not wearing rings. scratches your initials on the back of one of his boards. dominic fike coded. snarky & sarcastic.

NOTES ,, thank u to bae @lovesickgrlsrh0t for planting these brainworms in my head i fear these two are my literal faves atm </3 also the triplets hit 7m n im so proud of them 😞💓 MDNI thank u

YOU'D KNOWN OF MATT BECAUSE OF A MUTUAL FRIEND. the friend was someone you'd gotten to know at a party, not exactly in your crowd, but the party was one with various people who dabbled in various things. you liked the friend, yeah, and they talked about a friend of theirs called matt, often. a skater, like.. one of those types to get caught trespassing on private property whilst hanging out, or something. not the type to attend nice galas and drink the finest wines in fancy ass outfits.

so you hadn't really cared about him, no. he was just a guy you knew of. and to matt, you were just some stuck-up socialite who he'd happened to go to school with since kindergarten. he didn't hate you, no, but like.. he wasn't exactly fond of you. he wasn't into the whole high life you associated yourself with. so it was obvious: the two of you were total opposites and wouldn't interact ever. especially since it was senior year, why would you in the first place?

turns out, it was actually quite simple. you'd been skipping class, as per usual, but had gotten caught this time. matt hadn't completed his coursework. now? detention, for the both of you. you'd most definitely considered skipping detention, since you had other engagements to attend, but you knew your parents wouldn't let you attend any other engagments for the rest of your senior year if you did. you're very clearly upset about detention, a pout adorning your glossy lips, your eyes fluttering around with not an ounce of enthusiasm.

it was just you and matt, you quickly realise. you stare at him for a minute, eyes narrowing. this catches his attention, and he cocks a brow as he glances up at you, "you get detention for havin' a starin' problem or what?" he's blunt, almost dead pan, rolling his eyes at the sight of you just.. staring at him. this makes your brow furrow, "that ain't no way to treat someone you've never talked to before, is it? jeez." you scoff under your breath, folding your arms over your chest. not wanting to act all petulant infront of the.. barely even a teacher, it's some substitute.

matt's quiet as he watches you sit down, the way you sit a far bit away as if being next to him will degrade the expensive material of your outfit. a scoff escapes him, in a similar fashion to your own, and he shakes his head, glancing away. you have this tendency to.. well, not shut up, so you start whining under your breath about how you were supposed to be at some gala, mingling with other stuffy, rich people but you were here. with him.

matt's just watching you, completely baffled and amused by you. it was absolutely so shallow of you and pretty vapid, ut he found himself a little intrigued. his eyes liked what he was seeing, you're pretty, super pretty. you dress like you know it too. "uh," he starts, "you didn't ask for my two cents on the whole.. gala thing, and i know i ain't the type to even be goin' anywhere near those things, but—could always pay someone to go for you. you got the money, don't you?" that causes a silence to settle over you, and you're quiet for a minute.

but then you burst out laughing, a sound that matt knows he wants to hear more of. he tries to hide a small smile, but then you're switching up on him the instant you realise you're laughing at something he'd said. "i got the money, but i ain't payin' someone to enjoy the time i was going to. defeats the whole purpose, dumbass." the smile switching to a glare damn near gave him whiplash. his brow furrows once more, and he raises his hands in surrender.

"shit, okay, okay, keep whinin' then," god, he didn't understand you, not at all. you were something, alright. "..'n' who're you callin' a dumbass?" he mumbles under his breath, sighing as he glanced back at the ceiling once more. giving you a quick glare, in return, that ends your conversation quite abruptly. but both of you are intrigued by eachother, clearly.

"you look so out of place here, kid," matt can't help but laugh at you. the said mutual friend from before had invited you to some party at some random guy's house. a birthday party, or some shit. a total lapse of judgement on your part, you knew, and you'd literally snuck out of your parent's place to be there. why the fuck did you do that for? you looked so out of place, he was right. you're stood there like even touching a single thing'll kill you on the spot.

you glare at him instantly, folding your arms under your chest which instantly draws his attention down to your cleavage. you notice, of course, hating the way a warm feeling bubbles in your stomach from how he looks at you. "don't remember ever askin' for your input," your head tilts, "just 'cause you got a pretty face don't mean you needa' go 'round stickin' your head where it don't belong."

"you think i got a pretty face? how sweet," he sticks his tongue out, a soft smirk gracing his lips. he looks good. dark tufts of hair stick out from beneath his beanie, the colourful lights set up causing a nice sheen to glow down onto his face. you're not crushing on him though—no, no. he's just some skater. he could never give you what you want. "c'mon, relax a little," he says his words soon after his first few just so you don't get a chance to snap at his cocky remark, catching you off guard.

"i don't know anyone here," you mutter under your breath, fiddling with your expensive necklace, once again drawing his attention downwards. he's pretty sure you're doing it on purpose now, honestly, since you keep doing it. those nails.. he's imagining them wrapped around other things, that's for sure. "you know me," his voice is a little gentler, and he nods over to the kitchen where beer pong is set up, "it'll be fun. loosen' you up a lil' bit." you're skeptical for a moment, but you nod, making your way over with him.

he has to say, he's into how quiet you get when you're somewhere out of your comfort zone. you're not as mouthy, or annoying. as much as he loves your banter, the flirty insults between you two, well.. he likes you like this. "you've never played beer pong?" matt's literally gasping, staring at you like you're insane.

your face scrunches up at that, "well, yeah. no one's playin' beer pong at a party where they serve scotch—" you shake your head, sighing. he wanted you to loosen up? you'd loosen up. he gives you a look as if to say chill out, before he laughs quietly when you do, in fact, chill out. "i'll teach you. s'easy." his voice is easy, low. and you notice how close he's stood next to you. "you're a quick learner, m'guessin'."

"sure," you roll your shoulders in a shrug, glancing at the beer pong being set up for another round before you look back at matt. "yeah," you affirm after a minute. matt glances at you with a soft, incredulous look before he shakes his head. "c'mon, i don't bite. neither does the beer. at least, it shouldn't." you're calming down with him already, he likes that a lot too.

you'd had another total lapse of judgement, surprise surprise, having been swayed by the inarguably nice night with matt and his stupid, pretty face into becoming fuck buddies. perhaps not your finest moment, but definitely your most pleasurable. he makes you feel good, so, so good. takes away your stress from all your parents expectations, makes you feel taken care of. you two aren't exactly friends with benefits, more like.. people who know eachother, like acquaintances with benefits. but fuck buddies suits you two better.

it'd started off as getting together once, meeting at another party and giving into the raw attraction between you two. he'd had you beneath him, your legs wrapped tight around his hips as he bucked up into you with a brutal pace. his hands grasped at the bed around your head, a bed in which he had no idea whose it was. hey, he needed you, real bad. the logistics of everything hadn't crossed his mind once. "need you," you'd whined, voice breaking a little with how loudly you'd been crying out his name.

"you're gettin' me, baby," he grunted, grasping at the bed a little tighter as you clenched around him, practically trapping him there. his eyes lift up to yours, a flush covering his face at how damn good you feel. "what d'you want?" he growled, all breathless and heavy, like even speaking took a lot out of him. "need you, ah—after this, too," you couldn't have him just once, that wouldn't be fair. he felt too fucking perfect to only have once.

matt laughs quietly, realising you're on the verge of just babbling from how deep he's fucking you. "shh, sh, i got you," he murmured, lowering his head down to yours to press his lips down against yours to ensure you wouldn't keep talking. between kisses, he whispers, "gonna have me whenever you want, baby. whenever you want." that had you practically squirting, thighs trembling as the movements of his hips stuttered.

he kept up his promise, and whenever you wanted him, you got him. matt didn't want to seem desperate, but he was starting to like you, a lot. those snarky comments and bitchy glares started turning into fond looks and quiet compliments. he wasn't soft on you, he really didn't want to be—but there he was, letting you practically walk all over him in those expensive heels. it wasn't until a certain moment where you realised you felt the same as he did. he fell first, but god damn it, did you fall harder.

matt's buried so deep inside you, all you can think about, all you want to think about is him. he's overwhelming in the best way, having told you to keep your eyes on his or else he wouldn't give you what you wanted. "eyes on me, baby, wanna see those pretty eyes," he murmured, your legs hiked up onto his shoulders as opposed to his hips this time. you two had been in many different positions with eachother, sure, but this? how close he is? how he's balls deep inside your cunt? can't think straight.

you lift your eyes to his, swallowing thickly as another whine rips from your throat. he coos softly, "there you are. there's my girl," his girl? you're his girl? he's being so soft, and loving, nothing like he's been before or you've ever had before. it's making you feel some kind of way and it feels wrong, but so right at the same time. "makin' such pretty sounds, lookin' so lovely like this.. you take my dick so well."

"matt—" you gasp softly, trying to bring yourself as close as possible with a swivel of your hips forward. matt groans, his head falling down into the crook of your neck as he slides his hands down to grasp at your thighs. just the feel of the callouses on his hands from various skating accidents has you squealing and whining beneath him. "so good, shit, oh, oh—right there, riiight there.."

"right there? right there?" matt drives himself deeper within you, whining into your skin. his nose brushes against your soft skin, grunting under his breath with each thrust forward of his hips. "i've got you, c'mon, cum 'round my cock for me, let it go, there she is, that's it.." he's thrusting up into you through your orgasm, holding you as close as possible, and even with the pleasure clouding your brain, you're realising that you're most definitely in love.

maybe it's the slow drag of his cock against your walls, as he takes a slower, steadier approach to pounding you into the bed—maybe it's his sweet words, you don't know, but all of it coming together? you're in love.

ִ ֹ ★ @mattybsgroupie, @dayzeandhaze, @mattslolita, @stellasturns, @stevelacylovebot, @55sturn, @jetaimevous, @phone4pills, @aesthetixhoe, @venusiers, @chrissdollie, @stvrnmc, @sarosfilms, @beetlejenna, @funkycoloured, @v3nusasagrl, @imwetforyourmom, @deansbite, @beridollie, @https--roman, @sincerebabydoll, @pillwebb, @cayleeuhithinknot, @j2ss7 ִ ꒱

[sweet1delusi0ns]

Naruto boys calling you ma’am ──☆*:・ﾟ

!Slightly suggestive!

Characters: Naruto🦊,sasuke🗡️,Itachi🥀, kakashi🍃, kiba��, shikamaru🀄️,shino🪲,neji🎋,Lee🥋,choji🍥,gaara⏳,kankuro🪆

Naruto🦊-*

He’s sassy so ofc he’s gunna piss you off by calling you “ma’am” making you feel old. Normally when you scold him over stupid things he refers to you as that-

“Did you think about how dangerous that is?!” “No ma’am!” “use your little head before doing something dumb!” “Yes ma’am!” “ok stop with the ma’am I feel like a teacher scolding a bad student” “what you gunna smack me with a ruler?” Rolls eyes “I will if you don’t keep quiet!” “Whatever you say! Ma’am~” “I’ll be back with the ruler.” “WHAT?!”

Sasuke🗡️-*

He uses it nonchalantly or when he’s being goofy. Like everytime he leaves home you always say “be safe baby” and he always responds with “yes ma’am.” In a serious tone. He knows you worry that one day he may not come back so he must reassure you!

“Be safe Sasuke. I expect you home by 10!” “Yes ma’am, i will I promise. I must go now! I’ll see you at dinner darling” you whisper “it’s cute when you call me that” right before he closes the door (he heard it anyways)

Itachi🥀-*

He is such a good boyfriend honestly. He’s the kind of guy to do little tasks for you when you ask. So normally when your to lazy all you gotta do is ask him to do it instead!

“Tachi, can you please get me some more water?” “Yes ma’am!!!” Very rare times you ask him to do something without him responding with a “yes ma’am~”

Kakashi🍃-*

His mouth gets himself in trouble, sometimes he says things that could be viewed a different way without realizing it. For example he once said you remind him of a frog. I don’t know how it’s a compliment but he meant it as one…which obviously you didn’t know

“ARE YOU CALLING ME AN UGLY FROG KASHI?!” “N-no ma’am! That’s not what I mea-” “NO I KNOW WHAT YOU MEANNNN! YOU THINK IM SLIMEY TOAD” you start smiling once you realize how silly this really is “no I swear I meant it in a nice way!!!” “WELL-…did you call me ma’am?” “Uhm…depends do you not like it” you chuckle “no I don’t mind, it’s cute.” He lets out a sigh of relief “well I guess I’ll call you that more often?~”

Kiba🐺-*

Like kakashi his mouth gets him in trouble, exept Kiba does it on purpose to try and get a rise out of you he likes it when your rough ofc that means he just teases as much as possible, but then he tries acting all innocent

He’s on his knees directly infront of your legs waiting for you to look at him “I know what your doing Kiba. It’s not gunna work” he flashes the puppy eyes “well I’m not doing anything y/n🥺” “so your serious not trying to get a rise out of me?” “Noooo ma’am” you grab his face with your hand rather aggressively“is this want you want puppy?” A very quiet “Yes” could be heard from him

Shikamaru🀄️-*

He only calls you ma’am when you nag him about doing chores or helping you cook, he knows he can’t say no but “maam” is his only way of back talk

“Hey Shika be a dear and take out the trash” “ahhh yes anything for you ma’am.” He responded in the most sarcastic voice he could make “watch that tone babe!” “Yeah yeah whatever, such a pain” “I’ll show you pain.” A water bottle was soon thrown directly at his head LOL

Shino🪲-*

Call me weird but I feel like if he was going to call you something like that he would call you mistress instead but that’s for another time! When he does call you ma’am it’s mostly because he admires your leadership. You guys would be testing battle strategy and when you command him into a certain position you could here his cheerful “yes ma’am” while he runs into position

Neji🎋-*

He only uses it to get out of trouble actually. When he does something he isn’t supposed to he tries lying abt what he did

“Neji. Were you in my drawers?” “What!!! No ma’am that is absurd I would never dig through your shirt drawer!” You look at him with a blank stare “I never said it was my shirt drawer. Time to fess up pretty.” He sighs loudly. “Fine yes. But only because I missed your scent!!!” “Awwwww…kinda creepy but cute!!”

Lee🥋-*

Your like his own personal Inspirator. You give him pep talk like every single day and being the energy ball he is he is so hyped to hear about it

“Are you gunna train hard today?” “Yes ma’am!” “And you going to be proud of yourself no matter what?!” “Yes ma’am!!!!!” “Are you not gunna over work yourself for me?” “YES MA’AM!!!!”

Choji🍥-*

Again he takes your authority very seriously! So ma’am is fitting when your taking charge of every day things. Even if your not trying to be all serious he will always respect your power but he also looks to you for guidance

“Hey handsome you said you needed me?” “Yes y/n-chan. I figured you could help me with this?” You sigh “the only way I’ll be of help is if you do what I tell you too, can you…do that?” “Yes ma’am! I’m a very good listener!” You giggle “cute now let’s get started”

Gaara⏳-*

He has mommy issues and your strong and independent ofc he’s gunna call you names like that and ask for you to take care of him?! You love babying him anyways but it’s always so cute when he’s had a rough day mentally wise and the first thing he does is go to you

“Y/n, may we please have some alone time…” he asked shyly “of course rose, bad mental day?” You open your arms to him “yes ma’am. It was hard today.” He comments before hopping in your arms waiting for you to make everything better

Kankuro🪆-*

He calls you ma’am when your all mad at him for being bratty “but I was just checking out your new pants!” “You expect me to believe that you were just looking at my pants and not my ass?” “Yes ma’am” kinda like Kiba he wants you to be rough with him ok. He’s just trying to tease so you do something about it which you don’t because your strong, and it’s funner to just calling him a brat and watching him squirm at the insults



[yourgothiccqueen]

LN4 - “Clueless”

Request: Requested by @anniesimpson2128 🖤

Summary: Lando has been flirting with Y/N for as long as he can remember. Unluckily for him, she hasn’t noticed.

Pairings: Lando Norris x Female Reader

Warnings: None! Just a fluffy little story ❤️

Word count: 1.6k

You lay on the grass, Lily lazing beside you, as the warmth of the sun beats down on your face. You use your arm to shield your eyes from the harsh rays, feeling your skin begin to flush already. It had been a long couple of months, traveling around the world with your best friend Lily. You'd befriended her a few years ago, and had instantly clicked, becoming attached at the hip ever since.

Being a freelance journalist, and always up for an adventure, you'd jumped at the opportunity to accompany her to almost all of her boyfriend (and your close friend), Alex's, races.

Legs stretched out in front of you, you allow yourself to relax, readying yourself for the nap of a lifetime.

Before you can doze off, you feel a sudden shadow cool your face, and sense someone is stood above you.

"Hello there, gorgeous." A familiar tone smiles.

"Hi Lando!" You grin up at the sun kissed, curly haired man. "Joining me for a sunbathe?"

"Don't tempt me." He lifts his arms up above his head to stretch, and you catch a glimpse of his toned stomach. "I've got two more meetings today before I can relax properly. Can probably have a five minute break though."

Lando Norris - the incredibly talented, sarcastic and sassy F1 driver.

You'd met him through Alex, of course, a few years ago now, and had quickly become firm friends with the young driver. He was gorgeous, sure, but you'd never been anything more than friends. He didn't see you that way.

Platonic with a capital P.

Lando sits down next to you on the grass, taking a momentary breather from his busy schedule.

"Looking beautiful as always, Y/N." He beams at you, as you peek up at him through your lashes.

"Why thank you, Norris." You reply.

This was typical Lando. Always the smooth talker with every woman he meets.

"You wearing sun cream? You're gonna burn laying out here, it's fucking boiling." He says, gazing up to the sky, a hint of concern in his words.

"Yes, Dad." You joke. "I've got my factor 50 on, no need to stress."

"Good, good."

A moment of comfortable silence falls between you. You allow your eyes to flutter shut again. If they'd have been open, you'd have noticed Lando gazing down at you longingly, an unknown look in his eye.

"Gotta any plans for the rest of the day?" He quietly queries, a hopeful tone to his voice.

"Nothing much. Just chilling with Lily." You nod to the dozing woman beside you, dark sunglasses covering her eyes.

Lando's eyes light up slightly.

"I don't suppose you'd fancy..."

"LANDO!" A voice calls from the building behind you. "Back to work, mate!"

If you were sat any closer to Lando, you'd have heard the disappointed sigh leave his mouth.

"Duty calls - see you later, gorgeous." He smiles down at you.

"Bye Lan, have fun." You smile back, gently.

Lando treks off towards the building as Y/N closes her eyes once again, soaking in the sun.

Lily rolls her eyes under her glasses at how clueless her best friend could be.

------------------------------------------------

Later that evening, you find yourself in Lily and Alex's hotel suite, searching Netflix for something to watch. You have dubbed yourself the 'third wheel' of their relationship for as long as you've known them, and thankfully they didn't mind the occasional extra company.

"Where's Lando this evening?" You ask, curious as to where he's gotten to. It's getting late, and he's usually done by now. Not that you track his schedule much, of course.

"Got held up in meetings, should be here soon though." Alex states. "What film do you want to watch?"

"Ooh, can we watch Pretty Woman?" Lily asks, gazing at Alex. "Please?!"

"Urgh, fine. If we must." He roles his eyes dramatically, but lets a small smile creep on to his face. He doesn't mind what they watch, as long as he gets to watch it with Lily.

"I hope Lando finishes soon - I don't want him to miss movie night. He deserves a break. That boy works too bloody hard!" You exclaim, making yourself comfy against the cushions.

Alex shoots Lily a look, both of them choosing not to acknowledge how evident it is that you care about Lando as more than a friend.

In perfect timing, the door opens as Lando makes his way inside. His hair is disheveled and he looks exhausted.

"Shit, you good?" Alex asks.

"Just a long day. I'll be fine." Lando yawns in response, stretching his arms.

He makes his way over to the sofa, immediately flopping down next to you. He presses a kiss to your forehead, which sure, should be weird amongst friends, but this was just typical Lando. You smile up at him in response.

"Anything I can do to make you feel better?" You ask, concern lacing your voice.

"Pizza?" He asks, hopeful.

"Already ordered some. They'll be here within the hour."

You know Lando well enough to know he's always hungry after a full day, so made sure there was food en route for when he got in.

"Hell yeah, see this, is why I love you!" He exclaims.

You giggle in response, shaking your head slightly as you look at the TV. You miss the way his eyes widen at what he's just said, and you miss the knowing glance he shares with Alex.

Just friends. You're just friends.

-------------------------------------------------

The night wears on, Alex and Lily retiring to go to bed halfway into the film. You and Lando persevere, tucking into the leftover pizza lazily as the credits begin to roll.

"Surprised you didn't go back to your room to sleep." You state. "I bet you're exhausted."

He shrugs. "Yeah, but I wanted to spend time with you. Haven't been able to see you much today."

"That's sweet." You smile at him.

You'd gotten closer to him as the film rolled on, and are now tucked comfortably into his side, able to feel his warmth. Your head rests against his shoulder.

"This is nice." He allows himself to whisper.

"What is?" You murmur sleepily against him.

"Nothing, don't worry. You getting tired?" He asks, gazing down at your closing eyes.

"Nope." You smile. "I'm wide awake."

"Sure you are, sleepy head." He says sweetly, one of his hands reaching up to stroke your hair. "You look very pretty when you're all tired and...cosy."

"You saying I don't look pretty any other time, Norris?" You smirk up at him, teasing him slightly.

"Hey, course I'm not!" He lets out a short laugh, before becoming slightly more serious. "You're pretty all the time. Gorgeous in fact."

You smirk at him "Aw Lando, are you flirting with me?"

"Duh." He replies simply. "Wasn't it obvious?"

You suddenly feel very awake. You had simply been joking. There was no way in hell that Lando Norris, your gorgeous, charismatic, sassy friend had seriously been flirting with you - right?

You sit up slightly "Wait, really?"

You gaze into his eyes, waiting to see a hint of a joke. There isn't one.

"Yeah, I've been flirting with you for the past year." He nudges his shoulder against yours, giving you a soft smile "Thanks for finally noticing."

You rack your brains of all the times over the past year Lando has called you beautiful, cared for you, and held you slightly closer than typical friends do. You'd thought that was just him. You didn't realise he was only acting that way with...you?

"Wait." You begin "You're flirting with me, because...?"

Lando rolls his eyes, but not unkindly. He allows himself to feel brave, resting his hand on your cheek.

"Once again, isn't it obvious?"

Oh.

Oh.

"Oh!" You respond, finally putting the pieces together. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"I thought you knew I liked you!" He almost laughed, exasperated. "I mean, the flirting wasn't discrete Y/N!"

"I mean, I didn't know! I thought that was just you being, well, you!" You exclaim in response.

"You think I go round calling every girl I meet beautiful and want to spend every hour of the day with her?" He protests. "I mean, how many dates have you seen me go on since I met you?"

Once again you rack your brain, and come up with nothing.

He sees in your eyes that you fully understand how he feels, how he has felt all this time.

"Yeah." He says softly. "Was only you. Was only ever you."

You gaze up at him, his hand still resting on your cheek. Everything is falling into place, and you can almost sense how right it feels. It's always felt right with Lando.

It's your turn to be brave, as you inch closer to him, allowing your eyes to drop to his lips. Lando follows your lead, letting you take control of the moment. His breathing is shallow, filled with anticipation at the thing he hasn't even dared imagine over the last couple years, incase it never became a reality.

Yet here he was.

Your eyes flutter shut as you press your lips against his. You mold perfectly into him, as his hands move to your waist, pulling you closer. You allow your arms to wrap around his neck, deepening the kiss. Time stops. Neither of you breathe. Its electric and perfect and meant to be.

-------------------------------------------------

Lily and Alex awaken early morning, emerging from their room to find you and Lando entangled on the sofa. His shirt is on the floor, and you have a very visible lovebite on your neck.

"Oh my god." Lily half whispers half shouts. "Finally!"

"Jesus christ, I thought this day would never come. Back away quietly in case it's all a bloody dream!" Alex whispers, guiding Lily out of the room again as she giggles with joy.

They leave you and Lando, no longer third wheels, wrapped in each others bodies. Meant to be.

[ludicdoll]

𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆

farleigh start ☆

pairing: farleigh start x fem!reader

contents: smoking, farleigh actually being nice, oliver hate train

synopsis: farleigh finds you drunk and alone outside of a party.

a/n: some soft farleigh content cuz i feel like i never write about him like this enoughhh

you don’t know what happened, but you were sitting outside on the steps of the stairs leading up to the loud party, your coat half way off your shoulders, and one of your heels seemed to have broken off. you had one too many drinks and now you were all alone, shivering and fidgeting with your dress. you came to the party with your friends, but they disappeared on you while you were throwing up in the bathroom. you frown as you frantically ask people leaving the club if you could catch a ride with them to get back to your dorm, but they all declined and quickly sped past you. you groan loudly, the door behind you swinging open and closes with a loud thud, the sound of a lighter igniting making you turn around. you look over your shoulder, sighing in relief when you see a familiar face. “farleigh,” you breathe out. he lights the cigarette in his mouth before looking down at the steps.

his face shifts, eyes widening slightly. “oh, it’s you.” he says. you pout, confused with his sarcastic tone. “what’s that supposed to mean?” you ask as you make an attempt to get up before quickly tumbling forwards due to your broken heel. you catch yourself on the railing, turning back around and slumping over to farleigh. “god, you’re a fucking mess.” he teases, the smoke from his cigarette filling the deck. he has an amused expression on his face, almost like he was holding back a laugh. he scoots over to make more space for you, pulling out another cigar from his pocket. you smell the faint scent of his signature bold cologne, whiskey on his breathe. you lean against the cold bricks, taking the cigar from his fingers. he lights up your cigarette from your mouth, his eyes glistening from the flame. farleigh looks down at your feet, arching a brow at the heel hanging off from the bottom of the shoe. “i partied too hard.” you slur out. he rolls his eyes, laughing at your joke.

he seemed more assertive and calm right now, not his like usual upbeat, dickhead self. he looked tired, his eyes were low and dark, his curls slightly disheveled—but he still looked posh and perfect. you and farleigh weren’t exactly friends per se, you knew each other through felix but rarely talked outside of that. although, when you did get the chance to talk to farleigh alone, you realized his bold demeanor changed when it came to you. he still had that sassy, asshole-ish pep and tone to him, but he was nice when he wanted to be. “where’s your squad?” you ask, he looks confused. “my squad?” he repeats.

“yea, annabel, alicia, felix, oli—”

“ah, tut, tut.” farleigh quickly cuts you off with a finger, “we don’t talk about him.” he groans as he blows the thin line of smoke out of his mouth.

you scoff, “why…why do you hate him so much?” he looks down at you, a bleak expression on his face. “because.” you cock your head to the side, squinting. “because, what?” you press. he clicks his tongue, ignoring your question. farleigh clenches his jaw. you both go silent, just soaking in the dark sky and the muffled music from inside the building. “farleigh,” you mumble as you draw away from your cigarette. “mhm?” he hums back, his eyelids low and fixated on you. “can you walk me to my dorm?” he raises his brows, a small smirk forming on his lips. “please,” you whine. “you can’t leave a drunk girl unattended on the streets—plus, my heel is broken!” you point back to your feet. farleigh looks at you up and down for a while before clearing his throat. you lean closer to him, your shoulder touching his arm. you look up at him with pleading eyes as he lets out an annoyed moan and turns away.

“fuck, fine.” he says in defeat. farleigh drops his cigarette on the deck, putting it out with his foot. you quirk up from the wall, stumbling back. farleigh launches forward, instantly grabbing your arm to prevent you from falling. he pulls you closer to his body, rolling his eyes. “you’re gonna bust your ass if you keep walking around like that.” he mutters into your ear as he swings his arm over your shoulder. you giggle, raising your cigarette again to your lips. “you’re so nice, far.” you hiccup as he looks down at you, a surprised expression on his face from the nickname. “sure. you’re lucky i’m here to help you instead of that weirdo.” he strides forward as you trip over your own feet trying to catch up with him. “who?” you inquire. “you know who.” he replies. you furrow your brows and look around for a second before realizing he was talking about oliver.

“i thought you came with your friends.” he says. “i did.” you reply, “where are they? why don’t they take you back to the dorms?” you watch your feet as you step on the cracks of the sidewalk. “mm, i don’t know.” you admit shyly. “they ditched me, i think.” you mumble under your breath. farleigh laughs quietly, patting your shoulder in a sympathetic manner. you both walked in silence for a while, his arm wrapped tightly around you. you felt your face heating up and your knees wobbling underneath you everytime his cold fingers grazed your bare skin. his curls fell perfectly in front of his eyes, his confident grin only making you melting into his touch. you pushed the thoughts to the back of your mind, trying to focus on walking without tripping over something.

the club wasn’t that far from oxford, it was just a few minutes away in walking distance—and you were thankful for that since your feet were slowly killing you. you close your eyes and lay your head against his arm as he continues to lead you through the grounds of the school.

when you open your eyes again, you realize you’re already in the dorm hallways. farleigh walks around for a minute until he abruptly stops in front of your door. “you remembered?” you peer up at him, shocked he knew where your dorm was. “of course, how could i forget the day you had a mental break down and called everybody to your room?” he replies sarcastically. his hand travels down your waist to your bag, searching for your keys. you yawn as he finally inserts the key inside the lock, pushing the door open with his foot as you stumble in his arms. you walk over to your bed, instantly falling face first into your mattress. you hear your keys being set on your desk, then the lamp being switched on—the room illuminated in a dim warm light. farleigh mutters a quiet “oh god” under his breath as he unstraps your heels off your feet, tossing them by the pile of clothes in the corner of your room. “this place is a mess, y’know?”

“uh huh,” you reply mindlessly as you dig yourself deeper in the warm sheets of your bed. you watch as farleigh walks over to you, looking down at your slumped figure with his hands on his hips.

“you gonna be okay?” he asks. you look up at him, letting out an inaudible noise, blabbering something. he pinches his nose bridge, softly laughing in response. farleigh slowly backs away from the edge of the bed—turning around to leave the room, but your hand quickly clutches onto his wrist before he can walk away. “farleighhhh…” you moan out. he turns around, his eyes softening as he looks at your hand around his.

“can you stay with me?” you whisper.

the room is silent, only the sound of his breathing and the crickets outside the window filling the room. you blink, the feeling of sleep slowly taking over your body. “please,” you mutter as you shift your head so you’re looking directly up at him. for a second, he doesn’t respond, the moonlight casting a shadow over his features. “okay,” farleigh sighs as he kneels down next to your bed. you still haven’t let go of his hand, your fingers tightly wrapped around his wrist. you smile sheepishly, giggling when he grimaces and rolls his eyes at your bubbly demeanor. you nuzzle your face against your soft pillows, closing your eyes. farleigh slides his hand away from your grip but goes back to move your hair away from your eyes. “thank you for walking with me.” you say.

farleigh nods, his eyes focused on your tired face. “yea, of course.” he replies.

© do not publish my work on other sites.

[partycatty]

HIII, I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT PROFESSOR JOHNNY CAGE! LIKE IMAGINE THIS: the reader is shy student (legal obv) , and she's all flustered when it comes to him, and she's been subtly flirting with him but subtly and he's been doing it back getting her all flustered but she thinks he doesn't like her because "there's no signs", and one day he calls her into his office and BOOOOM (smut if you want 🤭) BUT YEAH ID LOVE IF YOU COULD DO IT BECAUSE YOUR WORK IS AMAZING 🫶🏻

PROFESSOR CARLTON MY BELOVED

professor!johnny cage > into you

warnings: ur professor is in heat

notes: consider this a pt2 to again, a professor takahashi fic!

[ masterlist ]

• unlike your english professor, mr. takahashi, dr. carlton was passion personified. he was always bubbly, eager to talk about his subject with a glitter in his eye that set his students crazy. he was a hot, well-built man with a face meant for screens but he instead rambled about physics and science and whatnot, something that was way out of your realm of understanding as midterms neared. damn you and your grades, you couldn't help but find yourself in this situation all the damn time.

• on the subject of his personality, it dizzied you. maybe it was your wandering imagination or his lingering stares, but dr. carlton always seemed to find some way to charm you specifically. it all felt targeted, playful, almost too innocent to be truly innocent.

• "professor," you'd raise your hand with a question, countering his answer and logic with your own numbers. instead of responding professionally, he dips into his charisma with a very sassy "i've got a phd in quantum mechanics, bitch!" which sends you and the class roaring in laughter. he smiles to himself, beaming in such a way that makes your face hot and mind very aware of how you smile back.

• his lingering touches, his prolonged affirmations and praises touched something dark and mean inside of you that craved this taboo attention from a man that's supposed to be in charge of you, and he seemed a little too aware of it. flustering you was almost always his personal goal, leaning in just a tad too close to your ear to tell you what a good student you are, always offering up extra time after class if you needed it.

• he made you... shy. he made you self conscious and a little nauseous when he glances your way with a knowing grin, and yet you had no idea if he was serious. maybe it was his attractive male charm working wonders in your feeble, horny mind.

• dr. carlton was the source of all of your fantasies as you pumped your fingers in and out of your messy cunt on the nights that your roommate was out late, leaving you to writhe and whimper at the dream of how full you'd feel stuffed with your professor's cock. it was something you craved, needed. something about his veiny hands and thick arms, or his neat hair, or how badly you needed to ride his nose...

• your friends tried pushing you to hook up with him, or at least open your eyes. he was practically undressing you with each stare, chewing on the end of his pen as he couldn't tear his eyes from your chest as you took one of his many tests. he wasn't trying to throw himself at you, just leave the door wide open.

• "great lecture, guys, thanks for half-listening!" dr. carlton clapped his hands together once with a sarcastic grin as the class packed up and left. "next week, be sure to read - oh, hey - " he catches you, checking his watch briefly. "stick around after, yeah? you got time?"

• whatever you had planned could wait. "everything alright, dr. carlton?"

• "please," he scoffs, hands on his hips. "the higher-ups call me that. it's exhausting. johnny works just fine, you know."

• as he talks, johnny circles you, closing the door as the last student exits the classroom. the intimacy of the situation nauseates you, being in a room with one of the hottest men you'd ever seen made your eyes feel foggy and hands clammy. his eyes feel more than analytical, like they're trying to pull you apart until you're putty in his hands.

• "i wanted to... talk," he opens, a wavering in his voice that makes your brow cock. he fights with a sleeve and you don't miss the shaking in his hands.

• "talk?" you repeat, his next words lost to you. "about... the test?"

• he gives you a funny look, mouth twisted in a perplexed pout that made it hard to not crack a smile. "no. you did fine." his voice sounds anxious, trying so hard to bury it under his charismatic tone. "i, uh..."

• as you try to figure out his point, johnny seems to get a genius idea, taking long strides toward you and backs you into his desk, your behind pressed against the wood as he leaves you little room to readjust.

• "i—i can't..." he's strained, it almost looks painful. "tell me you feel this too."

• what.

• johnny continues. "i-i don't mean to be this forward, i tried — tried — to keep it to myself but you..." he swallows. "just tell me you feel this too. whatever this is."

• ...you made him nervous. professor carlton, embodiment of confidence. so it seems the feeling is mutual as you scan his pleading eyes, ones full of guilt and disbelief in himself. slowly, hesitantly, you nod. he almost doesn't notice it at first, but you make out a glimmer in his eye when he does. the voices of your friends echo in your head.

• "just once," he vaguely offers. "just once. nobody has to know."

• your heart beats in your throat at his sudden offer. he was throwing himself at you, no longer subtly implying anything. he had cracked, and was desperate. it was... kind of hot.

• as you ponder his offer, a harsh knock pounds at the door that causes the two of you to jump, the air cooling down from the pestering heat of the moment. johnny's fists clenched and you sensed a frustrated frown as he spun on his heel to answer the door. the conversation was inaudible, but it sounded to be a student inquiring their professor over the material. johnny's voice was dismissive, almost irritated with the student, leg bouncing and fingers drumming on the door.

• he turns to face you for a moment, the needy look returning. "please," he mouths before returning to the student, and you can hear his whispered hunger that makes your thighs tense.

• the conversation becomes audible as johnny raises his voice ever so slightly. "yes, sure," he agrees. "i was just wrapping things up with another student. we can discuss the quiz. hold on."

• johnny closes the door and spins back toward you. his hands find your shoulders, squeezing.

• "tomorrow," he breathes, eyes darting between yours. "tomorrow after class. i'll be here. y-you don't have to come, but i'll always... be here."

• "...okay," you breathlessly reply, stunned for a proper response. "okay."

• "good," he sighs and wipes his clammy hands on his thighs, clapping them together. "tomorrow it is, then."

• he returns to the straggling student, opening the door with an eerily calm demeanor, as if nothing has happened. damn, if he were an actor, he'd be a good one.

• you excuse yourself without even sparing an extra glance at your professor, the one who just confessed his need for you. it was too much, too dizzying. what was it with the professors here?

• as you walk down the hall, something sparks your memory. damn. you had promised professor takahashi your office hours... for similar reasons.

• whose offer are you going to take up? the question burned in your mind, and you weighed your options. you wanted them both, just as badly as they wanted you. and your grade has seen better days...

[veryblushyswitch]

💔 A Better Way to Fight 💔

Summary: A sarcastic comment makes Robbie wanna pound Dipper into dust. However, when Wendy rides up on her bike, Robbie needs to figure out another way to take out his anger. 💔

Lee: Dipper

Lers: Robbie & Wendy

Author’s Note: I had an idea and I ran with it. I don’t know why ler Robbie was so intriguing, but here we are. Hope you enjoy! 💔

The sky was a beautiful blue and the pine trees glowed varying shades of green in the sunlight. It seemed like there was a rainbow of colors in Gravity Falls today. Yes the colors were always there, but I guess something about today felt different. Special almost.

Dipper Pines stepped outside of his Great Uncle’s Mystery Shack. A nice deep breath of fresh air filled his lungs. Nothing was going to ruin today. Dipper and Wendy had planned a movie night at her house. Nothing new for the two, but ever since Robbie and Wendy started dating, Dipper and Wendy haven’t been able to hang out one on one as much. So let’s just say Dipper couldn’t stop smiling whenever he thought about today’s plans. That was until he heard that agitating voice.

“Wendy!! Yo, Wendy where are you? You haven’t answered any of my calls!” Robbie was cupping his hands around his mouth shouting. Dipper rolled his eyes. Of course Robbie interrupts this perfect morning. He sighed and walked over to the still yelling teen. Robbie visibly cringed when he saw the kid.

“Oh, it’s you. Any idea where Wendy is? Learned some new chords on my guitar and wanted to show them off.” Robbie bragged, knowing how jealous Dipper must’ve been. Unfortunately, he was right.

“Dude, she was out on a trip with her family all weekend. She’s coming back sometime this afternoon.” Dipper kicked a stone out of frustration. What did Wendy see in this guy?

“If you’d listen to her maybe you’d remember some of that stuff. Isn’t that what a boyfriend is supposed to do?” Dipper’s sassy tone cut through Robbie like daggers. This twelve year old kid with a sweating problem was trying to tell him how to be a good boyfriend. Oh, he was gonna get it-

“That is it you little squirt!” Robbie yelled as he lunged for Dipper. Dipper almost got out of the way in time before he was pulled up by the hem of his shirt.

“No one tells me how to be a good boyfriend!” Robbie took one hand and poked at Dipper’s collarbone. “Especially some twerp who wears the same shorts everyday.” Robbie noticed Dipper seeming to try not to smile with each poke. That’s a weird reaction. Did he think this was funny?!

“Put me down!” Dipper pulled at his shirt still in Robbie’s grasp. Robbie was about to tell him off when they heard the sound of a bell ring. The two turned their heads to see none other than the topic of their discussion. Wendy Corduroy, the cool redhead herself, was riding her bike up to the Mystery Shack.

Robbie gasped. She couldn’t see him and the kid fighting again. She’d break up with him for sure. After reaching the gate, Wendy rested her bike against the fence and walked over to where they were standing. Now able to make out the position the two were in, she scowled.

“Hey! Are you two fighting again? C’mon you guys, you know how I feel about dudes fighting.” Wendy crossed her arms with a stern look. Robbie quickly adjusted the hold he had on the pre-teen. Taking Dipper into one arm in a sort of half bear hug against his chest. Dipper was annoyed, but put on a fake smile for Wendy. Robbie matched the same expression.

“Whaaat? Noooo. I was just… just uh-” Robbie was racking his brain on what to say. He couldn’t say they were fighting, but he couldn’t just make up something outlandish either. Wendy wouldn’t believe him if he said the two of them completely made up. That’s when he remembered Dipper’s reaction to the pokes from earlier. Of course! It was so obvious now. The kid was ticklish. Incredibly so it seemed. Robbie could work with that.

“We were just messing around. Kid got a little sassy with me and I had to teach him a lesson. Isn’t that right?” Robbie asked, bringing his other hand over and starting to poke at Dipper’s side. Dipper jerked at the touch causing Robbie to tighten his hold. He tried his hardest not to smile. No way was this happening- Not in front of Wendy!

“Lehehet goho!” Dipper choked out with a giggle. This was so embarrassing! Robbie chuckled and made the speed of the pokes more random. Even moving up and down his ribs where Dipper’s arm wasn’t pinned against his side. Dipper’s giggles couldn’t be hidden any longer. They escaped his lips as a small hint of pink flushed his cheeks. Wendy smiled at the sight.

“Aww, it’s really nice to see my two boys getting along finally. And Robbie I didn’t know you could be so playful. It’s nice to see.” She walked up so she was right in front of the pair.

“Yeah yeah totally. I’m sooo playful. Especially with this little guy right here.” Robbie switched from poking to scribbling at Dipper’s stomach. Electricity suddenly filled Dipper’s body and his light giggles turned into laughter.

“Nahahahaha! Rohohobbie! Stahahahap!” Dipper squealed, much to his dismay, and kicked his legs. Wendy giggled along with him. His laughter was too contagious not to. If Robbie couldn’t beat him up, this was the next best thing. He was even making Wendy think he was just being playful with the little guy. Win win.

“Not until you take back what you said earlier.” Robbie ‘threatened’ as he added more pressure to his fingers. Dipper shrieked and his squirming became a bit more desperate.

“Nehehehever! It’s truhue! Ahahaha! Wehehendy hehehelp!” Dipper reached his hands out as far as he could. Surly Wendy would help him. After all, Wendy knew just how ticklish Dipper was from all the times she’d seen him get tickled by Mabel. She had even gotten him a few times during their movie nights. Speaking of which, she couldn’t help herself and felt the need to join in on the fun.

“Sure I’ll help. Robbie, his armpits are a hotspot.” Wendy let out a laugh at the shocked face Dipper gave her before he fell back into laughter. Robbie looked at Dipper with the most devilish grin Dipper had seen. He was having way too much fun with this.

“You don’t say?” Robbie stopped his attack for a moment to adjust his hold. He quickly grabbed Dipper under his arms and held him out in front of him. His fingers still, but the mere presence of them on his worst spot already had Dipper giggling out pleads and kicking his legs.

“Wehehehendy- GAHAHAHAHAHA! NOHOHOHO!” Robbie’s fingers suddenly sprung to life scribbling and kneading all around this underarms. Dipper pushed at Robbie’s arms, but the tickling had made his arm go weak. Only being able to grip Robbie’s wrists as gravity prevented any sort of leeway to push or pull away.

“STAHAHAHAP! PLEHEHEASE! NAHAHAT THEHEHEHEHERE!” Dipper pleaded. Wendy giggled and even snapped a picture or two. If Dipper wasn’t blushing already- Dipper sometimes forgot the fact that Wendy had three younger brothers. Her older sister side was coming out and he was unfortunately the victim.

“You gonna take it back now? Or am I gonna have to ask Wendy for more tips?“ Robbie glanced at Wendy and gave her a wink. Wendy gladly accepted his invitation. Walking closer and grabbing both of Dipper’s knees in a claw-like shape. Dipper’s legs kicked out at her on instinct. Missing her, however, since she stood to the side.

“NONONONOHOHOHO! DOHOHOHON’T!” Wendy hadn’t even began and he was already feeling the phantom sensations. She nodded to Robbie and started squeezing at his kneecaps. Dipper’s laughter went up an octave as a high-pitched squeal echoed through the woods.

“Wohoah. Didn’t know someone could be this ticklish.” Robbie laughed as Dipper groaned through his laughter. Maybe this kid wasn’t so bad after all. Especially if he could take him down with a few knee squeezes.

“Oho yeah. I’ve gotten him a good few times. He deserves it almost everytime though.” Wendy’s fingers moved to behind his knees and that’s when Dipper was about ready to throw in the towel. His struggling was futile. Robbie had a good grip and he knew he wasn’t going to stop until he said what he wanted. And if he didn’t give in now he was gonna die laughing.

“OKAHAY! OKAHAHAHAY! IHI TAHAHAHA- I TAHAHAKE IT BAHAHAHACK!” Dipper managed to say through his cackles. The two finally halted their fingers. Robbie almost just let Dipper fall to the ground before remembering Wendy was there and instead set him down gently. His knees almost buckled from them still tingling. He wrapped his arms around himself and graciously took deep breaths. Man, those two could be ruthless.

“Thahat was soho mehean.” Dipper giggled out. Robbie chuckled and Wendy laughed. The kid could be really adorable when he wasn’t so uptight and hard on himself. She bent down and pulled him into a side hug.

“Oh please, I’ve seen Mabel get you way worse, buddy. Plus, you should really laugh like that more. It’s reheally contagious.“ She punctuated her sentence with a poke to his side causing him to giggle. She stood up and ruffled his hat. Dipper smiled. Still embarrassed about the whole situation, but it reminded him that Wendy doesn’t think he’s uncool.

“Hehe. Thahanks. I guess.” Dipper giggled, putting his hands in his pockets and kicking at the dirt. Wendy grabbed Robbie’s arm and dragged him over to her to hold him against her side.

“You find out he’s ticklish too yet?” Wendy jabbed at Robbie. Both in the literal and metaphorical sense when she poked Robbie’s rib after asking the question. Robbie yelped and slammed his arm down against his side. Now he was the one blushing. Dipper smirked at that. Guess Robbie was just as ticklish as him. Well maybe not as ticklish, but he was ticklish and seemed to also be embarrassed about it.

“I had no idea. But I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” Dipper answered Wendy before looking over to Robbie. He smiled and gave Robbie the smuggest little face he could muster. Robbie understood what that meant. He was not going to let him live that down, but he knew Robbie wasn’t going to let him without consequence. And honestly, being tickled was way better than being beaten up. Even if it was in front of Wendy.

[shippingmyworld]

Youtuber!Danny AU

Don't think I have the creative energy to expand this brainworm into an actual fic so ya'll just have to read a wall of text instead.

After a few close encounters where Danny's halfa identity almost gets revealed, Sam suggests the trio start a Youtube channel where they go about investigating all the so called "Ghostly Encounters" around Amity Park. Their goal would be to debunk as many ghost sightings as possible and establish themselves as well-known ghost deniers. After a bit of debate they eventually settle on naming the channel Chasing Phantoms.

Tucker really gets into it and eventually becomes the face of the channel. With Sam's coaching he learns how to play devil's advocate extremely well and figures out exactly how to craft his questions to manipulate people's responses. This way they can make these supposed "witnesses" discredit themselves within just a few minutes; Tucker will make them get worked up, angry, and confused about what they saw and trick the witnesses into making contradicting statements. This way they can throw out the witness statements as shoddy evidence because they're nothing more than a stress-induced hallucinations brought about by a gas leak. (They accidentally lean into the gas leak story a little too much in their early days - Danny uses his ghost powers to safely break piping in the places they're investigate to create evidence to back up their claims - thus triggering a mild panic in the citizens of Amity Park because one town should really not be suffering from this many gas line breaks.)

Sam is the director and editor, and has them film everything like it's in the style of found footage (she got the idea after watching The Blair Witch Project). They’re constantly making the "Looks directly into the camera like they're on The Office" joke whenever they interview someone who claims to have been attacked by a ghost.

Danny is the cameraman for the channel, but never shows his face because every time they tried to filmed him, his eyes would flash green in the lens flare and cause them to have to scrap the footage. He's still pretty chatty and viewers latch onto his sassy and sarcastic nature. They love his one-liners and the top comments of each video are usually just a repost of something witty he said (Sam leans into it and start naming the videos after lines that Danny drops while filming). Fans of the channel are constantly asking him for a face-reveal in the comments section. In fact, there's a whole subset of viewers that are dedicated to figuring out what he looks like. They have a poor quality jpeg file that's passed around and updated whenever a glimpse of Danny's appearance is reflected in a puddle of water or broken glass (which means Sam has to comb over the videos about ten times before they post them to make sure she didn't miss anything while editing).

Any time Danny ends up fighting a ghost and there's a witness, the trio will break into the site of the fight the next day (using Danny's ghost powers off-camera of course) so they can do an overnight stakeout. It always just amounts to the three of them goofing off and finding no evidence whatsoever. They do all the standard ghost hunting stuff but have to fib the data because Danny’s presence alone triggers the EMF reader and if they try and take the room temp anywhere near Danny it’s always like 10 degrees colder.

As time goes on, the channel starts to really kick off as people latch onto their goofy energy and start to get invested. However, they've also made themselves a lot of enemies within the student body at school, as most of their classmates have become discredited witnesses on their channel (with a few unfortunately souls even becoming trending memes for a few days). This also means Jazz learns about it and keeps volunteering to tag along or help out. She even gets Mr. Lancer to recognize the four of them as an official school club (she took initiative and made herself a part of the club AND club president without asking them), which he gladly approves since he doesn't believe in any of this ghost nonsense either.

Jazz is just really happy that there’s finally someone else in the family that is willing to stand up to their crazy parents' belief about ghosts, so she wants to be the supportive older sibling. However, she literally will not give the trio any space to deal with the ACTUAL ghost stuff. There are several pieces of unedited footage that lives on Sam's computer of Jazz showing up unannounced to an overnight stakeout asking Tucker and Sam “Where’s Danny?” and the camera would catch a glimpse of local menace Inviso-Bill getting his butt kicked by Skulker in the distance.

To get her off their back, Danny ends up publishing an hour long video essay about how ghosts ARE real, but that everything happening in Amity Park is just people making up bullshit for attention. He has to really commit to the act at home, but Jazz will eventually drop it and leave the trio to their own devices. This backfires however, as Danny's parents now believe he’s interested in ghost hunting and try to join him as well. Thankfully Danny is able to deter them by suggesting that they should all do their own research and compare notes later. You know, the more data the better, right? However, this means that in addition to his chores, homework, ghost fighting as Danny Phantom, and ghost hunting as Chasing Phantoms, he also now has to peer review his parents work so he's constantly exhausted. Tucker and Sam will usually let him copy their homework when the time crunch becomes really bad, and they will let Danny conk out for a much needed nap whenever the group gets together to brainstorm channel content or edit footage.

Following one of his encounters with Plasmius, Danny decided they should follow up the "Ghosts ARE real" video with a clickbait video titled “Top 10 places in Wisconsin that are ACTUALLY haunted!!!” They make Vlad’s Castle is #1 on the list and offer a reward to anyone that can bring them proof of a ghost haunting. They include a photo of Plasmius (that's been edited to look like bigfoot photos) so that people know what to look for. This means Vlad now has to hire extra security because the video triggers a mass influx of people that are constantly trying to break into his house and find evidence of this ghost for the reward.

Eventually Valerie and her dad end up on Chasing Phantoms as well, but as some of the discredited witnesses. It pisses her off so much that she starts up her own ghost hunting channel, Ghost Hunter Grey. She's constantly discrediting Chasing Phantoms in her videos and is very vocal on social media about how they give actual ghost hunters a bad name. Every time Chasing Phantoms uploads a new video, she stakes out the same place they did and uploads a video of her own a week later that includes all the evidence they clearly missed and a genuine, uncut interview with witnesses. She doesn't reveal her face (because of the reputation Chasing Phantoms has within the school) and uses a voice modifier when she edits her content.

Grey's videos aren’t nearly as popular as Chasing Phantoms content because Valarie tries to keep her videos more grounded in facts and backs everything up with proven science (unlike the trio’s videos which are just a constant barrage of ghost-themed brain-rotting jokes and funny reactions). It only frustrates her more and so she leans into the Popular Kids clique in order to low-key bully them as an act of revenge. 

When the trio catches wind about Ghost Hunter Grey's channel, they will film a fake video and wait the next day to see if someone shows up. Sure enough, Valerie makes an appearance shocking all of them. Sam holds the braincell and say that since they know, they can just be careful and the group shouldn't try and provoke her anymore. Tucker agrees, but Danny has other ideas and starts greifing her as Phantom. At first he will purposefully reveal himself to her when he knows she doesn't have a camera on her, but once he starts getting a little more bold he will start to photo bomb her with the dumbest expressions and just being an overall annoyance. It basically boils down to him doing shit like saying "Nobody will ever believe you." or "It's been five years, you have to let me go." before slowly turning invisible and flying away.

[pixelchills]

So, I think it's time to talk about Sun in Help Wanted 2 and how I think a lot of people have (in my opinion) misunderstood the sass and now think Sun is some mean bully who needs a cigarette and a vacation.

Posting my thoughts under here for spoiler warnings:

I think first and foremost we need to understand that Sun has always, ALWAYS, been a sucker for rules. He had one rule for Gregory in Security Breach, which he broke and Sun banned him from the Daycare.

In the Arts & Crafts game in HW2 Sun is overly giddy and excited, a little bit anxious but clearly tries to hide it. He wants you to just follow the rules and do arts and crafts with him!

If you follow the rules, you get no mean or sassy comments and instead he gives you praises and even does the cute yippee jumps at the end.

But if you misbehave (throw things at him, eat the supplies) he gets irritated, but none of the voicelines really hint towards him being mean or sassy to you, but more of his worry about his own and your safety.

You throwing things at him: Sun sees you're making a mess, he doesn't like the mess. If you hit him with the items he often laughs at it sarcastically and tells you to stop. Firmly. Sometimes he lets out comments under his breath ("I should turn off the lights myself").

You eating the art supplies: well, we all collectively know it is not healthy. Sun obviously doesn't want you to do that either. I think at this moment he just knows you're a damn idiot since you're an adult and are eating the googly eyes. I don't blame him for getting so angry; Sun realises he is just babysitting an adult which is not something he is supposed to do.

Sun doesn't like the arts you make if you haven't followed the rules. This is where he gets sassy and mean. His rules were very simple! If anything, this just proves the fact Sun is a little goody-shoes who values rules and doesn't like those who don't follow them.

During the course of the arts and crafts, Sun is impatient. He rushes you and keeps bugging about the time. "You're taking foreverrrrrr" is my favourite line just simply how frustrated he sounds. We always knew Sun was speedy and has no patience to just sit and wait. He needs to have his hands busy because that's most likely his way to deal with his anxiety - sitting still doing nothing will make his anxiety worse, or depression, or whatever he is trying to hide.

Because that's how he is in the RUIN version of the level. Just sitting in his pillowfort, sad and depressed. Just wanting to be left alone. Too long for doing nothing, his sad thoughts and the neglect has caught upon him. He is so so sad, but let's you work on the crafts as long as you just get out and leave him to continue sulking.

He doesn't trust you. Sun says: "It's safer this way". But it might not mean that it's safer for you, but safer for him. He doesn't want to give himself the false hope of someone coming to his rescue, or he has the fear that you're a human who will hurt him again. Either of those options are just really, really sad and I think everything he went through between these two games is a worth of an analysis, but we'll leave that for another day.

In short: Sun is still the same Sun we all fell in love with, he hasn't turned into a sassy bully just because he doesn't like your art. But we need to understand he is just THAT strict for the rules, because breaking them will either get him, or you, in trouble.

[goldenhourwriter]

•✮🕷️𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐤𝐢𝐝🕷️✮•

part one • part two (you are here) •

⋆pairing: miguel o’hara x wife!reader

⋆warning(s): i got translations from spanish dict, if i did something wrong, please correct me. i tried to use the right definitions/context to use those definitions in! also pregnancy.

⋆a/n: oh i love writing sassy spider-people

"And then the hot sandwhiches in the cafeteria suck ass, like, at least melt the cheese. I don't want some luke warm sandwhich that can't decide whether to be hot or cold!"

I hum absentmindely, playing with my bracelets as Ben Parker keeps mumbling and moping on and on about how his life is so terrible compared to all the other Spider-Men. Honestly, when I said he was allowed to get some things off his chest, I thought he meant telling me about the mission that went bad with him, not his whole life story from birth to this moment. He sighs dramtically, plopping his head down at the table we're sitting at, and I flinch at the sudden jolt of motion, my eyes lifting to look at him. He lets out a low, dramtic wail. "See? You don't care either!" He drawls. I roll my eyes.

"Nobody is looking at you, Ben, quit it." He rolls his head to the side with the most awful puppy-eyes I have ever seen. I give him a sarcastic, annoyed smile.

"Sorry, correction. Nobody is looking at you as if they hold any sympathy for you," I tell him as I stand up, having to take a moment to regain my balance from the whale that I am now. He sneers at me, his hair all dishelved from the way he's been tugging at it for the past hour. "I'll have you know that many people give their sympathy to me! There-there should be a book written about me! Or-or even better, a movie!" He calls out with frustration as I walk away from him. I scoff, not even bothering to justify his shouting at me with a glance over my shoulder. The doors to the cafeteria open and then close, and I heave out a sigh.

I think I'd hurl myself out the window if I hear his life story for the 30th time. It's a topic he loves discussing.

"Hey! Y/N!" I hear a familiar voice call out to me. I whip my head around. It could be any spider-person calling my name. From any floor, wall, ceiling, corner, web, anything. You never really know where to look when you work at a place like this.

The voice calls my name again, and this time it's more clearer, calling out behind me. I turn around and see Gwen walking towards me, a smile on her face. I let out a small breath of relief, grateful it's at least someone I enjoy being around, and not like one of the mind-numblingly boring Spder-Men who can't quit talking about how rough they have it. I hope you get who I'm referring to.

I walk a few steps, beginning to speak and raise my hand to wave in greeting, but she stops me with her hands. "No! No! Please, we'll meet you there."

Considerate. I love it. But I also hate it.

I put one hand on my belly, and one hand on my hip, jutting it out with. I give her a soft smile. "You're awre I can still walk, correct? I'm not toally useless," I sigh. She shrugs, not really responding. She holds her hand up to gesture to....something. But I don't really see what it's supposed to be.

"This is Miles," she smiles, with a hint of annoyance in her eye. I look to the side of her which she's gesturing to, but I raise my eyebrows.

"Gwen? Have we really drove you that crazy that you're making people up?" I ask, looking back at her. Her face drops in confusion, and she looks to her side. She groans, throwing her hands down into fists and spins around. I look past her, and I see another teen, presumably Miles, awe-struck and looking around everywhere. He seems a bit lost, but that doesn't hold a candle to the child-like wonder that is clear on his face.

"Miles! I told you not to fall behind!" She shouts at him. Immediatley, he snaps out of his daze, and he looks at her like a lost puppy. I've seen that before. I um, the pieces clicking in my mind, and I watch on with amusement.

This is the kid Gwen usually doesn't shut up about.

I snicker.

Cute, I think to myself as he smiles at her and mumbles an apology. They both clearly have feelings for one another. But, there is that air of nothing is established. A sort of tension. He looks at me finally, and his eyes immediatley drop to my stomach.

"You're pregnant?" He blurts out, and, despite his dark skin, I can still clearly see him blushing at his outburst. I furrow my brows at him, a bit worried that he might faint. Gwen closes her eyes, annoyed, and elbows him in the gut. I bite back a smile while straightening.

"Yes, I am pregnant. And don't even think about apologizing, all the new recruits have the same reaction." I smile as I think back to all of the young adults and teens I've met, each wondering in shock how I'm able to fight crime with two babies in me.

He goes to talk, and stick out his hand for me to shake, but Gwen hits him again.

"He's actually not a recruit, Miguel needed to see him. He's caused a bit of....well..." she trails off. I let out a small sound of understanding as I look at her while she's explaining. I look back at Miles.

"Well, I've already heard so much about you. I really do hope to see you joining our ranks someday," I say politely. I stick out my hand this time, and he takes it, a bit awe-struck. "Well, you know what they say," he says. He holds my hand as I look at him, expecting something. I quirk my eyebrow up. "What? What do they say?" A beat of silence.

"I have no idea."

I stare at him for a moment. Gwen didn't tell me this kid was so dorky. The again, all the Spider-People come from dorky backgrounds. I nod slowly, my hand retracting from his as I put it to my chest. "Great..." I trail off. I shake my head, and I look at Gwen again.

"I was actually just about to go see him, he hasn't had lunch, and I grabbed him an empanada, he usually goes nuts for them," I giggle, holding up the small container in my hand, which was long-forgotten while Ben shared his deepest, darkest corners of his soul. Again.

Miles lights up at the sight of the empanada.

"My grandma used to make those! Fueron los mejores (They were the best)," he beams, putting his hand on is hips, his chest expanding with pride. He bumps his shoulder intp Gwen's, who looks like she wants to crawl into a hole at this moment. I watch with endearment. It is endearing, how he gets all excited. I was the same way learning Spanish, wanting to expand my knowledge for Miguel. I wait for a moment for him to explain himself, my lips quirked up in a small smile.

"See? I know Spanglish," he chuckles, clearly getting prouder of himself. I smile widely.

"Que maravilla (wonderful)," I respond. His face drops, and he looks down, rocking on his feet, his voice growing quiet. I chuckle. "Oh...I see you...know..." "If you don't mind, Miles," Gwen says through gritted teeth. She looks back at me, her smile still strained. "We're going to keep moving along."

I shrug.

"I'll come with, give Miguel his empanada." I walk over to Miles, putting my arm around his shoulder. This throws him off, his eyes growing wide. He glances to the side, then back at me, not knowing what to do. I point to his chest with the empanada-hand. "También me encantaría escuchar más de su español (I'd also love to hear more of his Spanish)," I grin.

✮•

"Oi, there's the little child-bearer," Hobie announces as he gets up from his spot, walking over. He goes to put an arm around me, but I dodge, smacking it away. "Call me that again and I will give you something much, much more painful than giving birth," I growl. He doesn't even looked shocked, he loves riling people up. He pats my head, and walks a bit ahead of us. I scoff at his back, his guitar hanging so loosley off of it it makes me wonder how it's even managed to stay on for that long. I glance over my shoulder at Miles, who still walks a bit behind the rest of us. I slow down my pace, and when we're at the same speed, I whisper to him.

"You okay, kid?" His shoulders tense at that name, so I put my hands up in retreat. "Sorry, I wasn't the biggest fan of it either at your age," I chuckle. He glance at me, trying to find the amusement, but his laugh just comes out....dead. I sigh.

"Listen, Miles, I don't know what happened before you got here. I frankly, maybe I don't want to know. But just know it's nothing we can't fix, alright?" I mumble, bumping my shoulder with his for some light encouragement. He smiles just a tiny bit, his hand coming up to rub the shoulder I bumped bashfully. "Yeah...thanks."

I watch as he walks a bit ahead of me, and I watch as he looks at Gwen with...almost a longing gaze. A bit sad, too. I frown. I know how rough this kid has had it, Gwen's told me, and sometimes I would see him come up in the feed occasionally when I would cover for Miguel, giving him some much-needed rest time. I watched just as I did now, a frown etched on my face, wanting to reach out and tell him that this job does get better, but he wouldn't know I was watching. He still doesn't know I'm watching as we walk through the doors and into my husband's office. I fall into line with the teens, and look up at my husband and his beloved platform. Going down. Slowly. Inch by inch.

I groan inwardly.

This thing again.

I remember my first day here, I thought it was the most terrifying thing, seeing his broad back, all hunched over menacingly over the screens. Then, his mask came down, and I couldn't focus the entire time he was explaining everything to me, I was too focused on his face.

He claims he didn't know what I was doing, but I know that he was just as distracted as I was.

Miles glances at Gwen, and she shakes her head, indicating him not to talk. "I know, it's slow," she says. Miles still looks confused, and he looks over her shoulders and at me. I wave my hand in the air dismissevly. "It's his thing," I mumble under my breath, so Miguel can't hear us. God forbid we ruin his whole macho-'I'm so menacing,' act.

"Miguel O'Hara, meet, Miles Morales!" Gwen announces. No response.

"Ay, ¿Qué tal, tío? (Hey, what's up, dude?)" Miles smiles. "Yeah, I speak Spanish," he announces in front of me for the second time today.

I heave out a sigh, letting my head roll to the front. I look up again, and when I speak, my voice comes out in a shout. I have no idea what he can or can't hear from his mountain hideout.

"Amor, lo entendemos, puedes dominarnos. ¿Apuremos esto, por favor? (Love, we get it, you can overpower us. Let's hurry this up, please?)"

He grumbles something in Spanish, but I can't catch it. He spins around, shooting me a glare. "Glad to see you've met my wife," he says to Miles after giving me a hard look. Miles looks between me and my husband, his eyes scrunched together. He doesn't dare speak yet, however. Miguel smiles angrily, baring his fangs. "Something I had, like most things here now, no control over. Funny, considering I run this place!" His voice gets louder and a bit more sharp as he continues talking, and his hands come to his hips. I roll my eyes, making a sound of annoyance. I heave out a sigh. Miles steps forward, his hands moving while he speaks.

"Listen, man, I'm really excited to get going, I got some fresh new ideas on how to catch the Spot. You know, he just wants to be taken seriously-"

"Oh! Great. Uh-huh, uh-huh," my husband mumbles with a small, pestered smirk as Miles speaks. He lets out a very loud, very agressive roar as he hurls a piece of technology at Miles. Gwen and I both shout with shock, jumping out of the way, and Miles covers his head. Miguel doesn't even stop to consider what he did.

"You were worried about Spot, I'll worry about Spot!" he continues to yell at Miles. Miles is shaking, his eyes bulging with fear at him.

Gwen looks violated, and a bit worried for her friend. "Miguel! It's not his fault!" Miles agrees with her, nodding repeatedly.

"It was his fault, he blew another hole in the multiverse!"

"He didn't know any better!" Gwen shoots back. Miles doesn't quite know what to say, standing there awkardly, as if he and his friends' mom are fighting.

I step forward now, my head lowering as the platforms still moves slowly down.

"Miguel, think about throwing wires at someone! He was just tryng to do what Spider-Man does!" I try to rationalize. His head looks sharply to me, his eyes glowing red. It doesn't faze me, however. I've been on the receiving end of that look a few times, so I'm used to it. "Y/N, you're supposed to be on maternity leave!" He shouts. He holds up a hand, holding in a breath.

"Just...nevermind. You all knew what the risk here was! Gwen! You did! And you-!" Miguel looks to Hobie, pointing at him. Hobie is sliding down a metal arch, head first, on his back, just...enjoying life. As if this is really just his entertainment he threw together. Miguel sighs. "I was gonna try to ignore you," he pauses, before looking away again. "I can't, I just can't-"

"I ain't even here," Hobie mumbles in his thick accent. Miguel shakes his head, his thumb and index finger squeezing the bridge of his nose. He shakes his head as he walks a bit down the platform. I glance towards Gwen, who is already looking at me, silently begging me to say something, anything to try and calm my husband down. I sigh.

"Miguel, darling," I begin. Hobie groans.

"You know, just as a heads up, how married are you two gonna be today? Because I'm debating whether or not to sit here through all the pet names," he says, very annoyed, as he gets up from his seat, walking over to me and putting his arm on my head. He looks down at me, expecting an answer. I let a glare linger on him, and I look back at Miguel.

Miguel turns around again, his gaze boring into my eyes. "You fixed the whole catastrophe on Earth 199999, we can fix this. Don't go so hard on the kid!" I exclaim, gesturing towards Miles. He puts one hand on his hip, and another up to drag across his face, stretching it out.

"No, no, Y/N. He blew another hole in the multiverse! And that little...nerd and Doctor Strange fixed it. Not me! I'm just there to clean up stuff they don't know about so their lives can continue on, all happy and perfect!"

We all stay silent. Hobie lets out a low whistle, and Lyla appears on my shoulder. "I think he's projecting again," she whispers in my ear.

Miguel gestures for me to come over, once his platform has hit the ground, and I sigh, walking over.

"Can you just-just take my side on this? You've seen what these things can do," he murmurs lowly.

"Frankly, I think you should go lighter on him. He hasn't been here for more than 10 minutes, this is all very new. Quit yelling!"

"Uh-oh, mommy and daddy are fighting!" We hear a different, slightly older voice calling.

Hobie calls out. "Oh boy! Humbling reality Spider-Man has arrived!"

Miguel's whole body tenses, and his eyes shut with annoyance and anger. I turn to the door, and in walks Peter B. Parker. The man who practically trained Miles, and the man who thinks he's Miguel's best friend.

He walks in wearing a pink robe over his spider suit, and a baby carrier, but, no baby. He chuckles, a warm smile on his face. "Besides, Y/N's right, don't be so hard on the kid. He had a terrible teacher! He had no chance!"

"Peter!" Miles bounds over to him, giving him a big hug. Peter chuckles, patting his head. "Hey, kid! Don't mind my friend Miguel here, he looks scary but he's got no bite!"

Miguel growls, turning his back towards everyone, mumbling some curses, followed by Peter's name. Peter then makes eye contact with me. "Y/N! You're getting so big!" Miguel turns his head around sharply, his eyes glowing and his fangs baring with rage at his comment.

He winces immediatley. "Forget I said that."

Miles begins to ask him a string of questions, but his eyes travel down to the baby carrier. "Wait-what's is that? You have a baby!" He asks, pointing to it. Peter pats the carrier proudly.

"I have a baby!" He exclaims, mimicking Miles' excitement. At that perfect moment, Mayday crawls down from the ceiling, cooing. I get happy instantly, and she sees me, and squeals. She begins crawling on the walls, cooing and talking to herself in a string of babbles as I wave towards her, beckoning her over.

"Kid's an anarchist," Hobie mutters to himself. I frown at him, but I can't help but feel a bit of amusement at this.

"Don't forget to keep your daypass on, honey!" He calls out. He chuckles, and he begins to climb up the wall too, calling out to his child. Miguel shakes his head, letting his head rest in his hand, muttering "no puedo más," in a low, stressed voice. I put a hand on his back.

"Sólo aligerar (just lighten up), it's a baby, amor."

"¡No voy a entrar en esto ahora mismo! (I am not getting into this right now!)" He hisses, I hold my hands next to my head, signalling fake surrender, and turn back to father and daughter.

Peter laughs, reaching out for Mayday, but she swings away with her own webshooters. She swings next to me, landing on one of the consoles, and I pick her up, nuzzling my nose against hers.

"I knew I was gonna regret making her that webshooter, I shouldn't have done it, that's an actual mistake." Peter hops down, watching me as I play with Mayday. She reaches out to Miguel, and I put her on his shoulder. Besides, I'm not supposed to be carrying anything heavier than 20 pounds. Miguel just stares ahead. Peter perks up again, taking out his phone. "You guys wanna see pictures?"

He runs over to Miles and Gwen, putting his arms around their shoulders.

"Are-are you sure? She's right there..." Gwen trails off when Peter turns on his phone. "This one is the studious one, and-and, oh! The next one you're gonna crack up! Oh-oh, Miguel's gonna die" He laughs. I beam at him. He seems so proud and such a loving father. I put a hand over my pregnant belly.

Peter runs over to Miguel, showing him pictures. "You know I'm trying to hold a serious, adult conversation here," Miguel says quietly as he tries to keep staring ahead. Mayday crawls all over him, sometimes hitting him gently. Peter groans.

"You know, you're the only Spider-Man who isn't funny, we're supposed to be funny!"

"The fate of the multi-verse-"

"You always lose me with that!. You say "the fate of the multiverse," and my brain dies!" He exclaims. Mayday rolls on Miguel's shoulder, sqeualing when she falls. Miguel catches her, holding her like a....football. I roll my eyes. "Será mejor que no seas así cuando tenga a tus hijos (you better not be like this when I have your children)," I say to him. He shakes his head, his eyes wide with shock and offense. "Wha-I-no! I'm just not the biggest fan of the Parkers! Sabes que puedo ser muy amoroso cuando él no está aquí para molestarme, ¿verdad, mi amor? (you do know I can be very loving when he isn't here to annoy me, right my love?)" He says through gritted teeth, trying to keep his voice to a level so that only I could hear it. I put my hands on my hips, giving him a 'then show it,' look. Peter puts his hand over his heart in mock offense.

"Wow, you truly hurt me. And Mayday. You want a baby's feelings being hurt on your conscience?" He stops, and sniffs the air, then looks at Mayday. "You smell that guys? Mayday took a crap. She's a Parker!" He calls out, taking her from Miguel and walking towards where he came in. "That's what hapens when a Parker eats an avocado..."

Miguel sighs, walking over to me and putting his forehead on the top of my head defeatedly, shutting his eyes. He's exhausted, I know that, and our height difference allows us some very interesting advantages. I reach around his neck and pat his head like a little kid as I watch Hobie pick Mayday up, saluting her.

Miguel straightens again, stepping away from me. He addresses Miles again, this timecalmer, but he's still annoyed. With everyone around him. Well, not me. I smirk. He could never be too annoyed with me.

"Miles," he begins, putting his hands on his hips. "You disrupted a canon event.

"Canon event?" Miles asks, but before Miguel can explain, Peter B. pops up again, a full spider web now formed as Mayday crawls and bounces on it.

"The kid wasn't thinking. That's not how he works!"

"That's insulting."

Miles takes a few steps to the right, looking at the ground thinking. "Wait," he looks bakc up at Miguel. Miguel raises his eyebrows, waiting for him to continue. "What are you upset about, I saved those people!"

Miguel fully steps off his platform. I give him a look, silently shushing him.

I take a step towards Miles, putting a hand on his shoulder, looking at him. "That, unfortunatley, is the problem here," I sigh, looking at him, implying an apology with my tone. Confusion is etched onto his face, and I can't blame him.

"Lyla," Miguel calls out. The hologram appears. "Do the thing."

"The thing?" I ask. Lyla smirks. "What thing?" She continues for me.

"What do you mean, what thing? The information explain-y thing!"

I scoff, taking my hand off of Miles' shoulder. "You're sounding like a mob boss, sweetie. We're not that kind of powerful," I tease, poking him in the side. Lyla laughs, but pulls up the vast, complicated web of canon events, similarities, and differences of all the Spider-People.

"Woah."

Miles steps forward, turning in a circle around himself, oogling at the intricate design.

"What's this?" He breathes out.

"This, is everything."

[goldsbitch]

Hypochondria

part 2

Fate decided to play a little game and set up a disastrous dinner. Pulling heatwaves back and forth to prove that the path to hell is paved by good intentions.

warning: non-linear time line

21:10

"I'm sorry, but do you guys know each other?" she asked, with a tone of annoyance barely hidden behind a fake smile.

Lando froze once again, like he had many times that evening. It was not his fault. His soon-to-not-be girlfriend set this seventh circle of hell up. How was he supposed to respond to that?

Y/N hesitantly responded. "No, of course not. I mean, I've only worked with the team here for few weeks anyway."

Her words got buried in the stare down between Anita and Lando.

"Seems like you do, by the amount of questions you're asking" she said directly at Lando, fully ignoring Y/N at that point.

"If I had known her, I would not have had to ask questions, right?" he responded, failing at letting his sassy side dormant.

"Is that why you never ask me any questions? Because you know me?"

He bit his tongue. Lando was trying to be good.

Anita made her signature "I knew it" smile once again, which finally set Lando off.

"One asks when they want to hear an answer."

20:13

He was not late, right? Only thirteen minutes. It still passed. And judging by the quick glance he gave at the table, Anita brought a friend. She does that often, he had no idea why.

Sometimes he felt like a ghost watching his own life. Just sort of floating around, letting things happen to him. It was easy with his status. Almost like racing was the only time he really cared.

As he walked over to the table, lost in his own head, life gave him a pretty big slap to wake him up. Next to Anita sat the one and only, the one who had haunted his dreams and reality for decades by now. Frozen, as if his blood suddenly decided to start flowing in the opposite direction, he blinked as he watched the two share a laugh while Anita showed something to the girl on her phone. Seamlessly, as if they weren't defying the laws of Lando's universe. It was like that one time when two girls he kissed around the same time found him, having no idea what he had done with the other. Strange panic, excitement laced with guilt. It was that, dialed up to infinity.

A day had barely passed since he first saw the mystery girl in real time. Without giving him any time to absorb that information and decide what to do with it. He was getting angry, everything was going wrong. The painful truth hit him - he would fuck it up anyway. Like he always does. Feeling like a dried piece of fruit, he got back to walking over to the table of doomed dreams.

He had no plan going in. Well, no, he did. But he had about five plans that strongly contradicted each other. But god, destiny did not even give him time to breathe.

12:29

Another car flashed unbelievably fast right next to their station. She watched them with awe and slight terror in her eyes. Funny how the desire for a little thrill in the driver's lives makes them willing to risk it all. She understood this desire, but never shared it. Safe and sound on the ground, that's where she was happy.

Happy was probably overreaching. These past few days were flowing in a blur, somewhat missing her.

It's been only a few weeks since she joined the formula medical team. A strange choice frowned upon by almost anyone in her life. She was just out of school, finished her degree and was set up for a perfect career in some decent hospital. But no, the prospect of waking up everyday at the same place was the definition of horror for her. Her university years felt like torture.

Her free spirit caused few issues in her past relationship. House with a picket fence was not something she considered an option. At least not for another ten years or so.

There she was, sarcastic as ever because how else are you supposed to deal with a chronic pain. Well, pain was an exaggeration. More like muscle fatigue, on occasion sharp pains in random places. Nobody knew why or what caused it. This search for answers was what got her to study medicine at the first place. Still, years after, no answers. So she just lived and hoped not to die randomly one day.

This was the downside, the one she shared with the public. What she did not share, as it seemed not that important, was the irregular waves of pleasure she felt, usually late at night. Self induced orgasms, is what she concluded once she finally experienced one in real life. What was there to complain about? Nice way of spicing up the day without even trying. If it weren't for these, she'd probably be more active in seeking out the real deal. Ever since her break up few months ago, it was a full on dry spell.

She was a little bit lost after school. Formula track was an interesting distraction.

/

Heatwave. It hit hard as the sun blazed into the track, as if the goal was to burn the whole area down. There were many instances of people crashing down and having seek medical attention. A busy day for Y/N. She loved it. Rushing around like a busy bee, helping around and chatting with all those interesting people attending the race. Lots of beautiful people. Some extraordinarily.

In front of Y/N was one of those heavenly looking people. Apparently a girlfriend of one of the drivers. Cheerful looking model, who apologized about seven times for being there. Y/N gave her some magnesium, gave her some advice on how much water she should drink and checked her basic stats.

"You're all good. Make to sure to relax, don't drink any alcohol today and you'll be fine," Y/N ended her examination with a smile.

"You're amazing, thank you! Can I snap a photo of you for my story? I'm happy to tag you," she winked, suddenly looking all better now.

"Thank you...Um, happy to take a photo, but no tags. I have enough stalkers already," she tried to get out of the slightly awkward conversation with a joke that did not land.

"I do too, awful, right?" she replied, in full seriousness. Y/N smiled, hoping a new patient would arrive soon while she let her search for the right light. Few too many snaps and fake smiles later, they both sat in the ambulance nearby the track.

"I think you're free to go. Of course, stay here as long as you feel like you need to," Y/N said to her, while filling a general medical report.

The girl shifted, looking more than fine again. In the corner of the eye, Y/N observed how she kept shifting and looking for her phone.

"Is everything all right?" Y/N asked, unable to stop herself.

"Um, I was sort of hoping my boyfriend would come to pick me up here. It would look really good."

Y/N smiled. "I imagine it would also feel good, right?"

"Yeah," she said, not in a tone that would suggest she felt any butterflies. She looked stiff.

Y/N took a deep breath, not sure why her mouth let those words out. "Whatever happens in the ambulance, stays in the ambulance, you know? Just throwing it out there in case you want to share something..."

A weak smile appeared on her face. A glimpse of realness. After few moments of obviously thinking it through, she allowed herself to speak freely. "Promise you won't tell anything to anyone..."

"I swore an oath one time, I think we can apply that to this situation." The medics were always told to provide excellent service to these people. Sometimes, it involved a little psychology as well.

Anita poured it out like an overflowing mug. "I'd love to be with someone who would drop anything to pick me up when I'm sitting in an ambulance. But, I feel like that's not coming anytime soon. He just...He just does not see me."

It was easy for most people to get raw in the closed safe space of an ambulance. Y/N had already heard many similar stories, despite being on this job for only few weeks.

"Does he make you happy?"

"Um...Not really. The sex is good. And the life that comes with him..." she seemed to loose herself in her thoughts.

"You should trust your gut. It's probably pointing you in the right direction," Y/N replied, trying to not push anything.

"You're probably right. He's the best thing around here, so why complain. Thanks! You're really the best. You sure you don't want to be tagged?" she asked once again.

"Sure, go for it," she said, hoping this would finally get the girl out and gave her the instagram info.

She felt an immense wave of embarrassment as she read the comment about how amazing she was.

//

Lando felt a very familiar stroke of humiliation - well, he did not, but he knew who did anyway. Anxiety was not uncommon.

He was done with practice for the day and was staying behind with the engineers to further analyse. He ignored his phone for a while, only finding out his girlfriend had to go to the medics after she came back to the McLaren garage.

His first thought should have probably not been about a wasted opportunity.

"Hey, sweetheart, how do you feel now?" he said while holding Anita's hand and trying to find traces of her feeling unwell on her face.

She felt a bittersweet punch, obviously him checking up on her while she was gone not passing through his mind.

"Yeah, all good now. We have some good medics over here. I took a photo of them, so hopefully they'll get some boost online."

"Oh, can I have a look?" he said with an obvious interest. She smiled, hoping it was because he cared about her. She gave him her phone and saw him freeze for a moment.

Out of nowhere, he was staring into the eyes he longed to drown in. He never got a look this close at her. Not his girlfriend. The awkward smile he understood as if it was his own. It was like being taken over by a tidal wave. He knew everything about her, except her name. It was all really overwhelming.

20:15

Lando should have connected the dots. Anita was a bubbly friendly person, of course she would invite someone who had helped her, over to dinner, in case he himself does not show up due to some unforeseen circumstances. He sat down, without saying a word. "Oh, you're here, amazing!" Anita greeted him with a light peck on the cheek. Lando almost flinched away, physical contact with her suddenly feeling wrong. He kept his eyes down on the table, all of this being a little too much. "Lando, meet Y/N."

Finally. A name to a face. Strong sense of relief and excitement washed over him. Of course it was that name, it suited her vibe completely. The best name. He finally looked up and locked eyes with her for the first time. She was already looking at him and visibly gulped as finally joined her.

These few seconds before the silence got broken were more like hours. They both studied each other like astronomers who get absorbed by the beauty of a distant comet. One they'd only read about and one that's finally passing the sky in their lifetime.

"And Y/N, this is Lando-"

She knew his face, of course she did. But never paid much attention to it, as he served more like a concept, than an actual person to her. Sitting across from him however brought a sense of understanding. No wonder everyone liked him and many people obsessed over him. He was gorgeous, electric. Y/N was grateful for the table that put a physical barrier between them, as the urge to touch him, to test if he was real, overtaking her brain quickly. Like a siren luring her to jump into endlessly deep waters. She had a hard time believing that she would refuse. Her one and only thought was that a person like that is born once in a century.

Except that's not exactly true. But unbeknownst to her, they were soulmates. She was destined to be eternally delusional about him. He was fated to dance around her until the end of time.

"-my boyfriend."

Anita's words cut through like knife. Both of her dinner partners shifted, as if she had splashed them with cold water, and returned back to reality. A great cloud of guilt sat on the fourth empty chair, which the waiters forgot to take away, invisible to Anita, but smiling evilly at Y/N and Lando. And they hadn't even said a word to each other yet.

part 3

[sil3ntfr34k]

Postal dude 2 boyfriend headcanons

• Mans is RANCID but you still love him <33

• Even with how sassy and sarcastic as he is, he still has a soft spot for you. Isn't very good as showing it, but he does little things here and there to show his love for you

• Y'all probably met during one of his errands his wife made him run, bumping into each other in line while he was getting milk. He was very surprised that someone is actually talking to him and not cussing him out. Y'all chatted it up before you had to pay for your items and leave, leaving him alone once again

• He would be lying if he said he didn't follow you home like some creep to find out where you live so he could 'check-in' on you periodically

• After a handful of conversations and hang outs, he can't seem to stop thinking about you. Even while still married to his current wife, he'd still fantasize about being married to you instead

• He eventually does divorce his bitch wife so he can have a life with you. This doesn't bother the bitch anyway since she was already cheating on him with Mike J,,,

• Once you two start dating you get to see a softer, more gentle side of Dude. Where he was once a crass and inconsiderate, he has become more understanding and loving. He's surprisingly clingy!

• Before you moved in with Dude (or he moves in with you, whatever you like best) he would always hang out at your place anyway. Hell, he'd even bring over Champ just so he could have both his favorite things with him at the same time.

• (Champ is literally his son he gave birth to, no one can tell him otherwise. Sure Dude can be a little mean to Champ, but what parent doesn't get annoyed of their kids now and then??)

• If Dude moved in with you, then Champ gets upgraded to a house dog and no longer has to rough it outside since his bitch ex-wife didn't like pets. Also Dude still has his trailer and all, but it's more of a 'back-up house' or storage.

• No matter if he moved in with you or you moved in with him. he lets you decorate however you'd like. he's pretty adaptable to most environments since he moved around to a lot of different places growing up. Of course he's still messy and smells, but he tries JUST A LIL harder for you

• "Sorry babe, but my crack comes first."

• Please be understanding of this. He's been through a lot and it helps with a lot of his problems. From his chronic pains throughout his body to his schizophrenic episodes, being unsober helps him relax

• Dude is really nervous about telling you about his schizophrenia. His ex-wife always made his episodes worse by yelling at him that he's crazy or something, so he dreads having to tell you. What if you don't understand? What if you get weirded-out and leave him?? What if you start to see him as a burden?? Oh god what is he supposed to do if you want him to leave?????

• Underneath his cocky and confident facade, he's actually incredibly insecure and scared. Even just the tiniest bit of rejection or negative action from you is like this roman empire. He had stopped caring about what his ex-wife thought of him long before the divorce so nothing she did or said really affected him. But you. Your too special to him. He hangs off your every word

• Dates with him are very,,, intimate? Not in the way you might think of, more of in a 'It's just us' way. He's not exactly a people person so he doesn't want to even see other people while on a date with you

• He probably lands on something like a dinner and a show at home or playing some video games while eating all the junk food in the world together. To be fair, there's not exactly a 'nice' area in Paradise, so most couples just stay inside for things like this anyway.

• No matter what y'all end up doing, you better believe you have his undivided attention. All you got do is say the magic word ("now") and he will give it to you on a silver platter

• Even with how good of a boyfriend he seems to be, Dude is NOT Mr. Perfect. Dude has his bad habits and red-flags too.

• During heated arguments Dude can and will throw something at you, might even threaten to kill you tbh. Watch ur step bc that gun is always loaded with the safety off. Doesn't help he's trigger happy too,,,

• Dude also needs his alone time. Yesyesyes he loves you dearly, but the man still needs his space. Isn't afraid to say something like "Hey I gotta go do something, be back babe" and proceed to just lay in bed for 3 hours (Postal Dude bedrotting)

• It's very hard to get Postal Dude to open up about ANYTHING. Like, after being together for 5 years AND being engaged, your barely learning about his strange and very illegal family tree. Come to think of it, you never even knew he had parents. Yea you know he has to have a mom and dad, but you don't know if they're any good or still in his life.

• During a manic/depressive/crack-endued/schizophrenic episode, he makes it very hard for you to be there for him. He doesn't mean to do this, but it's not like can help it. To you, he's just acting-out, but to him, everyone is trying to hurt him and he's not safe anywhere. Suddenly it's like he's a totally different person, constantly running away from you and hiding. Honestly it might be best for you to just wait it out, maybe offer him some comforting words but still stay away.

• Overall, Postal Dude is a bumbling idiot who just wants to feel accepted by someone

[kirain]

So apparently we were supposed to get a hafling werewolf bard companion named Helia, but Larian axed her early in development. She would've been the only small race companion in the game, which I personally felt it was lacking. The closest we had was Barcus, but unfortunately he wasn't a full companion nor was he romancable. Plus, bards are hilarious. I imagine her dialogue would've been incredible.

We were robbed...

Though I don't want to be ungrateful. Larian did a lot and honestly spoiled us. I just really would've loved to have a hafling werewolf bard on the team. She sounds so interesting. So I made her myself. 😁

She and Karlach would be the best of friends. They'd get drunk every weekend, shoot the shit, sing campfire songs, and dare each other to do dangerously stupid challenges. They'd have a lot of fun and cause all sorts of trouble, as they should.

She'd be sarcastic and sassy like Astarion, but they probably wouldn't get along very well, since she's a halfing and a werewolf. He'd call her "mongrel", while she'd call him "tick". If he tried to bite her, she'd bite him back. The mockery would be vicious, but deep down they'd understand each other's struggles. Real enemies to friends potential.

Lae'zel she'd annoy—by constantly trying to make her laugh and calling her "sour puss". She'd also have no problem calling her out when her loyalty to Vlaakith clouds her judgement. Though she'd also admire her drive and resilience. Lae'zel would, in turn, teach her a few battle techniques, and eventually come to see the value in humour.

Gale she'd butt heads with, only because she's foul and he's so proper, but they'd both give as good as they get, knowing it's all harmless banter. After a whille, they'd learn to appreciate each other's company, and she'd even use some of his stories as inspiration for song lyrics.

As for Shadowheart, they'd get on surprisingly well, bonding over their pain and hatred for Selûne. That bond would only grow as they learn Selûne is actually worth worshipping, with Shadowheart becoming the goddess' devoted cleric and Helia becoming a proud member of her lycanthrope followers. Together, they'd give Shar a metaphorical and literal finger.