#he's so dumb lookin I love it lol

[srenorsomethin9]

Since Stardew got it's new update, I decided to play it along with the RRRR mod I found in Nexus & omg, I love it so much <3

Here's the mod if you wanna try it out:

https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/16893

And here's the portrait mod I used for my playthrough:

https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/18686

[todayisafridaynight]

still thinking about how my friend said my dad looked like a yakuza last night like 😭😭 ??

[pumpkin-writes]

— ୨୧ kinktober day 12

pairing: old man!logan howlett x reader

warnings: 18+, nsfw ( obv ) established relationship, age gap ( logan is, well, he's logan & reader is in their mid 20s ) daddy kink, lap sitting, jealous!logan, petnames ( bub, princess, good girl, sweetheart, baby ) fingering, hair pulling, dirty talking, multiple orgasms, unprotected vaginal sex & logan comes inside of the reader ( don't be dumb ) not proof-read, just absolute filth below the cut

word count: 2.7 k

notes: i really liked enjoyed writing this, so don't be surprised if you see more old logan from me in the future 🫣 this was the longest kinktober fic i've written so far & also the first one so far that i've had ready to post on time lol hope y'all enjoy it as much as i did <3

the evening had gone perfectly. you and logan had gone to a quiet dinner at a place he liked—nothing fancy, just the kind of spot with dim lighting, rustic wood tables, and good whiskey. you loved how he looked tonight, sure he was much older than other guys you'd been with, but he was still ruggedly handsome. his beard was streaked with silver, his hair tousled in that familiar wild way, and he wore a dark button-up shirt that stretched across his broad chest. but he had been quieter than usual on the way home, brooding, his hand gripping the steering wheel a little too tightly. you knew something was up. it wasn’t like him to stay this quiet, especially after a night out with you. he pulled the truck into the driveway, cutting the engine and letting the silence between you hang there for a moment before stepping out. you followed him into the house, the door clicking shut behind you as he tossed his keys on the table. his silence continued as he walked into the living room, taking off his jacket and running a hand through his hair, still looking a bit stiff.

"logan," you started softly, setting your purse down and stepping closer to him, your heels tapping lightly on the floor. "what’s wrong?" he paused, standing by the window, staring out at the night. his back was tense, muscles rigid under his shirt, the years weighing heavily on his broad shoulders. when he finally spoke, his voice was rougher than usual. "that kid at the restaurant," he muttered, almost too low to hear. "he couldn’t take his damn eyes off you." you blinked, surprised, before a soft smile curled at your lips. so that’s what had been bothering him. his jaw clenched, the muscles tightening. "he was lookin' at you like… like he had a chance or somethin'. made me wanna break his damn neck." there it was—his possessiveness, that fierce, animalistic side that sometimes surfaced when he thought someone was threatening what was his. you stepped closer, your fingers brushing over his arm. "lo," you cooed, your tone light, teasing. "are you seriously jealous?" he gently turned to look down at you, his dark eyes still stormy, but there was a flicker of mischief behind them, his heart skipping a beat a the familiar nickname.

"i ain’t young anymore, bub," logan sighed, sitting down heavily on the worn leather couch, his usual brooding expression softening just slightly as he leaned back, the tension still lingering in his gaze. you could feel it—his insecurity still nagging at him, even though you’d tried to brush it off. that younger guy at the restaurant had really gotten under his skin. but you weren’t going to let him sulk. without saying a word, you stepped closer, standing between his legs as he looked up at you, the creases in his weathered face deepening. his brows knit together, as if he didn’t quite know what you were up to. you reached down, your fingers gently brushing through his hair, the silver strands catching the light. "hey," you murmured, voice soft and warm, "stop thinking so much." then, with a slow smile, you shifted forward, sliding onto his lap, straddling him. his hands instinctively moved to your waist, his grip firm, holding you in place as if he needed to keep you close. you felt his body stiffen beneath you for a second, but then he let out a deep breath, his shoulders relaxing under your touch. "what're you doing, princess?" he questioned softly, though his hands stayed exactly where they were, fingers splayed against your hips. "tryin’ to make me feel better?"

you tilted your head, your lips curving into a playful smile as you leaned in closer, your chest brushing against his. "maybe," you teased, brushing your fingers down his jaw, the roughness of his scruff making you tingle. "or maybe i just like sitting here." logan grunted, his eyes narrowing at you, though you could see the faintest hint of a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. "you like sittin��� on an old man’s lap, huh?" you laughed, a soft, sultry sound, and leaned in closer so your lips were near his ear. "i like sitting on your lap, daddy." that got his attention. his grip tightened on your waist, pulling you a little closer, his breath hitching just slightly. his eyes darkened as he looked up at you, that familiar hunger flickering beneath the surface. "god damn, you drive me crazy," you smirked, brushing a light kiss against his neck, feeling the way his pulse quickened under your lips. your kiss incited a low growl from the older man, his calloused hands sliding up your sides, pulling you closer against him. his lips found yours in a rough, heated kiss, the earlier jealousy now burning away in the intensity between you. his hands moved possessively down your back and up your skirt, his fingers quickly finding the hem of your panties and hooking around them to pull them down your thighs. he pulled back from your kiss for just a moment, his forehead resting against yours, his breath warm and ragged. "so fuckin' wet for daddy already, huh?" he muttered, his voice deep and gravelly. his words sent a jolt of desire straight to your core, and you bit back a moan as your hips rocked subtly against him, seeking more friction, more heat. you could feel the hard length of his cock pressing insistently against your center, and you ground down, relishing the sensation of being filled and wanted so thoroughly. "fuck, logan," you breathed, your hands roaming over his chest, as his fingers delved deeper, stroking through your slick folds and circling your clit with maddening precision.

a low, guttural groan rumbled in logan's throat as your hips undulated against him, your wet heat coating his fingers. his own arousal throbbed in response, straining against the confines of his slacks. he captured your mouth in another searing kiss, swallowing your breathy moans as he worked two long digits inside you, curling them to stroke that sensitive spot within. "gonna make you forget all about that pretty boy at the restaurant," he rasped against your lips, pumping his fingers slowly, steadily, driving you higher with each thrust. his thumb rubbed relentless circles around your clit, the pressure building to a crescendo. "this pussy belongs to me, understand? no one else gets to touch you like this." withdrawing his fingers, he brought them to his mouth, sucking your essence off with a low, appreciative hum. his other hand slid up your back, tangling in your hair and tugging your head back to expose the column of your throat. he leaned in, dragging his tongue along the sensitive skin before grazing his teeth over your racing pulse. he punctuated his claim with a sharp thrust of his fingers, burying them back deep inside you.

a shudder ran through you at his possessive words, your walls fluttering around his invading fingers as he stroked you deeper, harder. "yes, daddy," you gasped out, arching into his touch as his laved attention on your neck. "only you. always you." your hands scrabbled at his shoulders, nails digging in as pleasure coiled tighter and tighter in your belly. the rough drag of his stubble against your sensitized skin only added to the sensations overwhelming you. "please," you whimpered, not even sure what you were begging for anymore. you just needed…more. logan growled low in his throat, pleased by your wanton submission. his grip tightened in your hair, holding you in place as he continued his sensual assault on your neck. sharp teeth scraped over your racing pulse before he soothed the sting with his tongue. "good girl," he praised roughly, fingers pumping faster, harder, driving you towards the edge. his free hand slid under your shirt, calloused palm skimming over the soft swell of your breast before he palmed the weight fully. he rolled your nipple between his fingers, pinching and tugging, feeling you tightening around him. hearing the needy little sounds spilling from your lips stoked his own desire to dizzying heights. he wanted to feel you come apart on his fingers, watch you shatter completely before fucking you. "that's it, sweetheart," he crooned, his voice a dark rumble against your skin. "let go for daddy. wanna feel this sweet cunt squeeze my fingers when you come."

your body jerked, a high-pitched whine escaping your throat as he tweaked your nipple. you were teetering on the brink, every stroke of his fingers, every pinch and tug of his hand on your breast pushing you closer to the edge. "logan!" you cried out, unable to contain the plea as you felt the first waves of orgasm crashing over you. you clenched rhythmically around his pistoning fingers, milking them for all they were worth as you rode out the intense climax. stars burst behind your eyelids, and you bucked wildly against him, lost in the throes of ecstasy. it seemed to last an eternity, each aftershock leaving you trembling and gasping for air, and logan was loving every second of it. he watched intently as you came undone and held you steady, fingers still buried deep inside you, riding out the waves of your orgasm with you. the sight and feel of you falling apart on his hand was almost too much, and he had to bite back a groan of his own desire. once the tremors subsided, he slowly withdrew his fingers, bringing them to his lips once more. savoring your flavor, he hummed in approval. "fuck, bub, that was beautiful," he chuckled, brushing a strand of sweat-dampened hair from your forehead. his gaze dropped to your breasts, still heaving with ragged breaths, and his cock gave an impatient twitch in his pants. "but we're far from done here, sweetheart."

as the final tremors faded away, you slumped bonelessly against him, utterly spent. his words met with the predatory gleam in his eyes told you there would be no rest for the wicked tonight. a thrill raced down your spine at the thought, and you licked your lips, "is that so?" you purred, reaching down to palm the thick ridge tenting his pants. "well, i'm not finished with you yet either, daddy." you deftly unfastened his belt and zipper, freeing his impressive erection from its confines. wrapping your fingers around his shaft, you gave him a slow, teasing stroke from base to tip, marveling at how he twitched eagerly in your grasp. a harsh exhale escaped logan's lips at the warmth and gentle pressure of your touch, making him throb with need. he watched, transfixed, as you pumped him slowly, reveling in the sight of your delicate fingers encircling his thick girth. his hips jerked involuntarily, seeking more of your touch as you worked him over. he could feel the precum beading at the tip, and it took every ounce of willpower not to grind against your palm. "keep touching me like that and this will be over before it starts," he warned gruffly, his large hands gripping your waist, effortlessly lifting you off his lap and turning you around to face away from him. with a swift tug, he pulled your skirt and panties off entirely, baring your glistening sex to his hungry gaze. he nudged your legs further apart with his knees, settling himself between your spread thighs. the blunt head of his cock prodded at your entrance, swirling your arousal around.

a gasp left your lips as he spun you around, your heart pounding in anticipation. his dominant stance, the way he filled the space between your thighs, sent a rush of excitement coursing through you. you arched your back, pressing your ass against his groin, silently urging him to take what he wanted. the head of his dick teased your slick, and you couldn't help but rock your hips, trying to coax him inside. "please, daddy," you slightly panted, voice heavy with need. your pathetic pleads incited a guttural growl from logan, the sound vibrating against your back as he notched the broad crown of his cock at your entrance. he paused for a moment, savoring the heat radiating from your core, before surging forward with one powerful thrust. he buried himself to the hilt in one smooth motion, a low moan rumbling in his chest at the tight, wet clasp of your cunt around him. he stayed still for a beat, relishing the sensation of being sheathed so deeply within you, before beginning to move. logan set a relentless pace, pulling nearly all the way out before slamming back in, the force of his strokes rocking you both. the lewd slap of flesh meeting flesh echoed through the room, punctuated by your cries of pleasure and his grunts of effort. your moans turned to screams of delight as he pounded into you mercilessly, the sheer force of his thrusts driving the air from your lungs. the thick, hard length of his dick stretched and filled you completely, hitting all the right spots with each brutal plunge. your nails dug into the worn leather of the couch as you struggled to keep up with his relentless rhythm, your hips bucking wildly to meet his every stroke. the pleasure was overwhelming, bordering on pain, and you reveled in it, surrendering yourself fully to the primal, animalistic act unfolding behind you. "oh my god, logannnn," you wailed, your voice hoarse and desperate, as if begging for mercy even as you craved more of his punishing thrusts. logan's grip on your hips tightened, his fingers digging into the soft flesh as he drove into you with increasing ferocity. he could feel the telltale flutter of your walls tightening around him, signaling your impending climax. he doubled his efforts, fucking you with abandon, chasing your release and his own. the obscene sounds of your coupling filled the air—the slick squelch of your arousal easing his way, the smack of his pelvis colliding with your ass as it bounced back onto him, your shameless cries and his guttural snarls intermingling in a symphony of debauchery. he leaned over you, one arm banding around your waist while the other slid up to cup your breast roughly, pinching and rolling the stiff peak between his fingers. "come for daddy, baby," he rasped in your ear, nipping sharply at the lobe.

and just like that, your body began to quake and convulse, overwhelmed by the intensity of his assault and the demand in his voice. the coil of tension deep within you snapped, sending shockwaves of ecstasy rippling through your veins. a strangled cry tore from your throat as your orgasm crashed over you, your muscles clamping down on him like a vice. waves of pure bliss washed over you, leaving you breathless and trembling in the aftermath. through it all, logan continued to pound into you, prolonging your climax until you were sobbing and mewling, lost to the world except for the feeling of him splitting you open again and again. his hips stuttered, losing their rhythm as your velvety walls spasmed around him, milking his cock for all it was worth. he threw his head back with a guttural groan, the tendons in his neck standing out in stark relief as he found his own release. he ground against you, working himself through the aftershocks. only when he was spent did he collapse against your back, his weight pressing you into the cushions as he fought to catch his breath. he peppered your shoulder blades with lazy kisses, murmuring words of praise and adoration against your sweat-slick skin. "that was… incredible", he was out of breath, his voice roughened by exertion. as the fog of post-orgasmic haze slowly lifted, you felt a warm sense of satisfaction wash over you. you slowly turned back around to face him and your eyes locked, a tender smile playing on your lips as you gazed at him. "yeah, not bad for an old man," you teasingly downplayed the state of euphoria he'd been able to put you into so easily, thinking back to how this all began. if that didn't reassure him that your eyes were only for him, despite your age gap, you didn't know what would.

[golden-moony]

rumour has it | LN4

pairings: lando norris x model!fem!oc summary: everyone knows Lando has been single for a while, but when fans start to notice too many coincidences involving him and a model, his relationship status suddenly becomes the center of attention.

landonorris posted to his story!

[caption 1; ✈️✈️] [caption 3; it's summer time babyyy]

irinakrausse posted to her story!

[caption 1; what time is it? summer time!] [caption 2; my serotonin levels right now📈📈]

lnfour

liked by angryginge13, maxfewtrell, olivernorris1 and 71,203 others!

lnfour besties who go on vacation together, stay together 🤜🤛

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user1 f1's greatest wag

user2 SAY IT LOUDER user3 apparently max has competition now👀 user4 user3 NEVER user5 user3 context??? user6 user5 according to f1twt lando is on vacation not only with friends and family but also with a model named irina user7user5 crazy people who assume that Lando and Irina are together just because they are both on a yacht at sea🤦‍♀️

team_quadrant things we love to see 🫶

user8 aww literal boyfriends

user9 i guess not only "besties" are on vacation with lando right now huh ☕

user10 i'm gone for 1 minute and now lando is supposedly dating a new girl??? bro give me a break

user11 nah they're not dating, i don't even think they're in the same place tbh 😂😂 user12 user11 i've been saying this!!! people see them on a yacht and at sea and assume they're next to each other lol

user13 can we focus on lando and max matching outfits?? 😻

user14 they're soulmates if u ask me user15 best duo for real 🧡

irinakrausse

liked by riabish, landonorris, francisca.cgomes, and 35,978 others!

irinakrausse We got no troubles, life is the bubbles under the sea🧜‍♀️

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user1 i'm here for f1twt but bro i didn't expect her to be so beautiful like omg??

user2 RIGHT??? i think i'm in love now 😍 user3 i was ready to be jealous of her but now i'm jealous of lando tbh user4 user3 MOOD. SHE'S SO PRETTY

user5 oh lando i totally get you now 😳

user6 man has incredible taste honestly

user7 i'm no better than a man omg

lailahasanovic what a woman🥵🔥

liked by irinakrausse

user8 laila sweety what are u doing here?? user9 user8 u new here? laila and irina have been friends for a long time lol user10 user9 when people find out that Irina has more wag friends they're gonna lose their minds😂

user11 lando this lando that but IRINA HOW CAN YOU BE SO PRETTY???? 😍😍

user12 not lando liking the pic😂

user13 he's been liking irina's pics for months now, this is nothing new haha user14 i'm more surprised to see ria in the likes tbh user15 yeah yeah but WHAT ABOUT KIKA??? user16 user15 they've worked together

user17 STUNNING 😍😍😍

user18 JUST ONE CHANCE IRINA PLEASE😭🙏

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, martingarrix, irinakrausse, and 218,054 others!

landonorris aquaman who?

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user1 y'all he's mine go away

user2 get in line girl 🙄 user3 i'm afraid he's already taken user4 user3 WHAT DID I MISS?? user5 user4 girl where have u been the last week?😂 streets are sayin' he's on vacation with a model user6 user4 he's on vacation with friends, don't believe dumb rumors

user7 SIR I WASN'T PREPARED OMG😳😳

user8 liked by irina krausse 👀

user9 she's trying so hard to be relevant

user10 user9 ... it's just a like, jeez

user11 i would kill for that smile 🥹

user12 FR SO PRETTY user13 lando's smile >>>>>> user14 okay but now imagine that irina was the one who took the photo and lando is looking at her like this🥹 user15 user14 STOP my heart would melt 😩 user16 user14 I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING

mclaren lookin' good 🔥🔥

user17 admin being a total mood

danielricciardo cool pics, can i borrow the photographer?😇

landonorris no. user18 DANNY WHAT DO YOU KNOW

irinakrausse posted to her story!

irinakrausse

liked by savnorris, pietra.pilao, landonorris, and 79,828 others!

irinakrausse already missing my vitamin sea 🌞

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user1 WOAH

user2 my sentiments exactly

lilymhe it should be illegal to look this good in public💘

liked by irinakrausse

user3 LILY?????? user4 is this a way of welcoming the new wag? 👀 user5 user4 this clout chaser is NOT a wag user6 user5 jealous much? lol user7 lily honey tell us what u know pleeeease

user8 i wanna be lando so bad right now 😳

user9 she looks like luisa or is it just me?

user10 I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed the resemblance🫣 user11 lando clearly has a type 😅 user12 luisa is way more beautiful than this girl. user13 user12 there's no need to compare two gorgeous women, grow up

user14 A WARNING NEXT TIME PLEASE i wasn't ready for the last pic 🥵

user15 this is such a mood tbh user16 and lando is getting all that i can't believe his luck 😫

user17 SO PRETTY OMG 😍😍

user18 is that lando's hand in the 5th pic or am i crazy?

user19 IT'S HIS BRACELET 100% user20 you're crazy indeed

irinakrausse posted to her story!

[caption 1; work time!] [caption 2; 📸] [caption 3; 😴😴]

| landonorris replied to your story

landonorris

liked by martingarrix, irinakrausse, patriciooward, and 988,756 others!

landonorris CARLANDO PODIUM BABY!! ����

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mclaren EVERYBODY LOVED THAT 🔥🔥

user1 let's go team!!! user2 PLEASE MCLAREN WE NEED THEM TOGETHER AGAIN😭😭 user3 ADMIN BEING A TOTAL MOOD RN user4 vamooooos!!!!! user5 ADMIN IS ONE OF US ❤️🧡

user6 massive win for us Carlando girlies 😭💖

user7 I'M SO HAPPY OMG user8 my carlando heart is full of joy rn 😭❤️‍🩹

user9 YOU GUYS SLAYEDDDDD ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

carlossainz55 VAMOS, CABRÓN 👊🏆

liked by landonorris

user10 carlando nation we really won 🥹 user11 BEST DUO FR 🚀 user12 OUR BOYS ❤️🧡

team_quadrant i'm not crying, you are 😭😭

user13 are u crying?? hahaha... i think i'm crying! user14 user13 elite reference right there

user15 best podium of the season!!! 🫶

irinakrausse That was a smooth operation indeed! 🫡🏆

liked by landonorris

user16 so we got carlando podium AND irina's first comment on lando's ig? HOW ARE WE FEELING CHAT? user17 user16 OH WE REALLY WON user18 hard launch is around the corner y'all 👀 user19 user18 *pretends to be shocked* 😂

user20 SO PROUD OF YOU TWO 🧡🧡

irinakrausse posted to her story!

[caption 1; rise and shine, everyone!] [caption 2; someone's back🧡]

lando.jpg

liked by maxfewtrell, alex_albon, irinakrausse, and 352,048 others!

lando.jpg 🦄❄️

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user1 HE POSTED IRINA!!!!!

user2 it was about damn time! user3 bro really said i'm in love and i want everyone to know that user4 user3 and i respect him for it 😂 user5 user3 i mean it's irina, who could blame him? user6 is that really irina? user7 user6 they're in the same place, you can confirm it in Irina's stories

user8 5th slide is my new roman empire

user9 the way i just SCREAMED omg user10 wasn't expecting that at all 😂

user11 he didn't win the championship but won at love🫶 how cute

liked by lando.jpg

user12 HE LIKED IT OMG user13 that like it's all the confirmation i need

user14 bestie don't be shy and drop more pics with irina 🤭

user15 are we gonna talk about the unicorn helmet or what?

user16 that's high fashion if u ask me user17 i'll never understand how irina fell in love with lando when he has this kind of looks😂 user18 user17 yeah but have you seen lando? 🫦 user19 user17 she saw he was rich and fell for him lol user20 user19 ugh haters are not allowed in here, go away🤮

irinakrausse posted to her story!

[caption 1; white paradise🤍] [caption 2; 🤍✨]

landonorris posted to his story!

[caption 2; 🤍✨] [caption 3; ☃️⛷️]

irinakrausse

liked by landonorris, lailahasanovic, carmenmmundt, and 201,366 others!

irinakrausse ❄️

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user1 the real question is: can lando fight?

user2 one day you're fighting for lando and the next you're fighting WITH lando user3 user2 that's the ✨irina effect✨

user4 this woman is unreal 😍😍

user5 lando watch out cause you and i are not friends

user6 so we're all in love with irina right? user7 user6 of course we are! user8 user6 i mean just look at her! 😻

user9 irina please drop your hair routine for the girlies🙏

user10 c'mon guys!!! new year has to bring their relationship confirmation (i'm probably delulu but whatever)

user11 we've waited enough, i can't do this anymore😩 user12 we need to keep manifesting 🕯️🕯️

user13 STUNNING 😍

landonorris do you wanna build a snowman?

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user14 alright bro's in love 😂 user15 sir u need to keep workin on these pickup lines user16 lando no-rizz strikes again user17 user16 i meaaan irina loves disney movies, so i guess he does have the rizz 🤷‍♀️

user18 MOTHER IS MOTHERING 🔥🔥🔥

user19 okay but who was the photographer? 👀

user20 sis we all know the answer to that 😏

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, pierregasly, irinakrausse, and 899,328 others!

landonorris Happy birthday to the most intelligent, funny and gorgeous woman I've ever met. Love you, darling🧡

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user1 Y'ALL IT'S HAPPENING OMFG

user2 MOM AND DAD 🗣️🗣️

user3 IT'S FINALLY OFFICIAL

maxfewtrell woah hold on, irina was your gf?

georgerussell63 WAIT WHAT carlossainz55 WAIT WHAT alex_albon WAIT WHAT maxverstappen1 WAIT WHAT danielricciardo WAIT WHAT charles_leclerc WAIT WHAT landonorris y'all stfu 🙄 user4 LOOOOOOL user5 it was the worst secret ever kept 😂

user6 alexa play that should be me (u two are so cute tho😻)

user7 i wanna be sad but i'm actually so happy for them🥹 user8 user7 MOOD they're adorable 😍

user9 lando you lucky man 😳

user10 they're both lucky tbh user11 user10 hottest couple ever fr 🥵

user12 ARE YOU FUCKING SEEING THIS CHAT WHATJSNFJKSNDKFFNCN

user13 YESSSSSJSNFKS IM SO HAPPY I WANNA CRY user14 we've waited MONTHS but it was so worth it🥹💗

mclaren QUEEN AND KING 👑💘

user15 admin is one of us, no doubt

user16 last pic it's so cute i can'tttt🥺

user17 lando is really setting a high standard here

user18 FR irinakrausse where did u find this man? asking for a friend user19 i need a lando in my life like rn

irinakrausse alexa play london boy by taylor swift

liked by landonorris

irinakrausse oh and i love u moreeee🥰❤️‍🔥 user21 CUTEST COUPLE EVER user22 can u two adopt me please?🥺 user23 AND SHE'S A SWIFTIE? irina just became my fav wag 🛐

user24 ok ok but does this mean we'll get more of Irina at the races this year or what?

user25 i mean i hope so irinakrausse you'll have to wait and see (yes) user26 YAY OMFG I CANT WAIT !!!!!!

author's note: hope y'all enjoyed it! would love to know your thoughts <3 btw feel free to leave any request 🤍

[seonghwaswifereal]

Yunho

(I'm putting this at the start of every list, so ignore it if you want)

Just wanna say that this is pretty much just for me to catalog all the fics and random things that I like, so idk, just enjoy it if you want lol

Bottle Service

Yunho's BIG, teeny weeny reader, bulge kink, reader doesn't think it'll fit

Summer Nights

You're Yunho's roommate, mutual pining, slow burn, kind of fluffy and cute

Size Training

Another one where Yunho's BIG (because he is) Yun loves that you're so small and can't really fit him, Bulge kink, mirror sex

Body Language

Brother's best friend, forced proximity, Mingi's the brother lol, Pervert Yun hehe

Good Form

Boyfriend Yunho, best friend Mingi, late night fun, kitchen sex? They like the chubs

Best Girl

Another YunGi, yearning(?) best friends

Perform For Them

This one kinda makes me sad cause you're lowkey beefing with him, after that though, choking w. a belt, spankin, and spit I think

You Know I'm Fire

I just love me some YunGi, an@l, kind of sweet?

Lesson One Be A Good Girl Pt. 2

YunGi, College professors

Soft-Boy

Basically, Yun looks all sweet and innocent, but knows exactly how to make you go dumb

Double Stuffed

...Another YunGi, Mirror, straight to smut, double pen. same hole

Growl

Sooo... Yunho growls :)

Thick

How tf is Yunho's cock so big??? Like??? And we have so many photos too

Shove

How Yunho be lookin' when he's on top absolutely Annihilating your cunt

Warrant

This mf... how does he go around with that, I genuinely don't get it

Severus Snape

Yunni be lookin like the man himself here

Two for One

Imma be honest, I was being kinda lazy here, but they're both about Yunho and his deliciously fuckable hands sooo

[lorarri]

★ . . . 𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 , 𝐊𝐑𝟕

summary , people seem to be under the impression that you and your good friend sebastian are dating but little do they know kimi is way more your type

pairing , rockstar! bassist! kimi räikkönen x fem! f1 driver! reader

series masterlist | main masterlist | sol’s masterlist | f1 masterlist

Y/NNIE

hey seb quick question

is kimi single?

SEBBY

yes he is

why do you ask

Y/NNIE

cuz he gives big dick enegery

and he is high key super hot

SEBBY

ew that's one of my best friends

Y/NNIE

sorry

but you know I cannot lie when it comes to fine men

also have you seen peoples twitter theories that we are together

SEBBY

yeah hannah and I were laughing at them earlier

some people are so dumb

Y/NNIE

ikr?

anyway kimi's number?

SEBBY

I better be best man when you two get married

xxx-xxx-xxx

Y/NNIE

I wouldn't have anybody else sebby

yourinstagram

liked by sebastianvettle kimimatiasraikkonen 78,384,982 others

yourinstagram look who I ran into kimimatiasraikkonen

view comments

user wingman kimi>>>

user he def putting. agood word in for seb

user seb sent his man so Y/N would hear about how great he is

user mother lookin sexy af rn

user getting ready for the dating annoucment

user seb def got notifications on for Y/N's posts lol

user so we can alllll see seb in the likes right????

view more comments

SEB

soooo kimi

what's the deal with you and Y/N

KIMI

friends

dw dude I know you into her

so no need to get jealous

SEB

jealous???

dude I was trying to set you up

why do you think I gave her your number

KIMI

ummm cuz you wanted me to put in a good word for you

SEB

dude I'm married

her name is hannah

LEW

let me guess vegas wedding

SEB

yup

KIMI

okay but what if she is not into me

SEB

dude she's had the hots for you since say one what are you talking about

LEW

yeah dude even a blind man

she's super into you mate

KIMI

oh damn

JEN JEN

okay hate to break up this revelation

but kimi the love song that you wrote about Y/N

is all over twitter

KIMI

oh shit

BEAUTIFUL TRAIN WRECK

um kimi please tell me why I had to find out through twitter

that you are parental in love with me

is this true or????

KIMZILLA

yeah

BEAUTIFUL TRAIN WRECK

well I like you too

and fucking god you said yes or this would be so fucking awkward rn

KIMZILLA

right

wanna come over

also seb's asking when the wedding is

I was thinking summer

BEAUTIFUL TRAIN WRECK

we can talk plans after we fucked all night long

KIMZILLA

sounds like a plan rakkaani

sounds like a plan my love

kimimatiasraikkonen

liked by yourinstagram sebastianvettle5 87,389,477 others

kimimatiasraikkonen every song I write from now on will only ever be about you

view comments

user omfg this is so hot

yourinstagram my rockstar <3

user isn't that kimi's cross??????

sebastianvettle5 took you long enough dude

user wtf is going on in the house of commons

lewishamilton okay but what colour suit should I get for the wedding that's the real question

user this is so fucking iconic

jensonbutton there are childen on this app kimi....

user and you clown's were really saying Y/N and Seb huh

user live laugh love kimi and Y/N rn

user this ate in every language known to man

comments have been limited

[star-dust-shark]

PJO characters as dumb things me and my friends ( bonus one with my parents ) have said part two

Will: what's your type?

Nico: you

Will:

Will: that's sweet but I meant blood type

-

Percy: oh fuck I'm blue now

Percy: but like actually blue

Percy: like a smurf

Percy: being sad's for idiots lmao

-

Leo: everyone hates me lol

Jason: what am I??? like???

-

Nico: and Axl Rose's real name wasn't Axl Rose

Percy: *crying* STOP

-

Will: easiest way to come out to people is tell them that you listen to coldplay

-

Nico: Im gonna fugging krill myself

Annabeth: krill????

Nico: isn't that like a fish or smth

-

Piper: *knocking on Leo's door* WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE

Leo: uh shit uh erm uh

Leo: *moans loudly*

-

Will: *joking* we should makeout

Nico: I really wanna

Will: what

Nico: ...

Nico: did I say that out loud

-

Piper: *sobbing* why are penises so ugly

-

Annabeth: math is weirdly calming to me sometimes ngl

Annabeth: *flips page over to read massive paragraphs of words*

Annabeth: *bursts into tears*

-

Will: I just had to help hatch a baby chick

Will:

Will: I'm waiting for applause it was so gross

-

Will: if you drink the water I'll give you a forehead smooch

Nico: *glances at water, thinking*

Nico: nah you wanna give me one anyway

Will: gods dammit

-

Rachel: *GASP* MY SKETCHBOOK

Rachel: MY BABY

Rachel: *kisses it*

-

Hazel: ugh I want someone to fuck me

Hazel: hahah jk that shit's nasty

-

Piper: yeah I've noticed after watching you for a bit that you smile whenever Nico messages

Will: aww that's so swee-

Will: wait why are you watching me

Piper: *stares into his soul*

-

Nico: I miss you

Nico: *replies an hour later* that was a moment of weakness fuck you

-

Will: what if I say "darling" in a seductive voice

Nico: no

Will: u sure?

Nico: I ahdiamdveip dnsjhbksahcblaiwcbjsd-

-

Will: like at first I wanted to be you but then I realized that there's a diffrence between wanting to "be you" and wanting to "be on you"

-

Percy: I'm depressed

Percy: ...

Percy: WAIT I HAVE COOKIES NVM

-

Will: wtf are hickeys??

Will: I'm an experimental learner btw

-

Leo: omg guys look the guitar strings made my finger darker

Leo: *looks at finger* do you like watermelon, sir?

Will: you are so close to being hit in the head

-

Frank: *points* haha you've been fingered

Hazel:

Hazel: love... no

-

Thalia: OMG IM GONNA BE BREATHING THE SAME AIR AS RYAN GULDEMOND

Reyna: technically you already are

Thalia: *passes out*

-

Octavian: ugh I'm so single

Nico: *sighs* me too

Nico:

Nico: WAIT I CANT SAY THAT ANYMORE

Nico: FUCK YEEEEEEEEAH *smashes table*

-

Annabeth: what's ur favourite animal I'm gonna buy you something

Percy: shark but don't waste your money

Annabeth: but my parents told me to spend it on something important

Percy:

Percy: *cries*

-

Will: I'm autism!!

Will: *turns to Nico, wiggle eyebrows* I could be in you

Nico: tism rizz????

-

Frank: I love these drama videos

Reyna: *massive bags under her eyes* why do you want more drama wtf

-

Jason: honestly scared to sit on the edges of chairs at my trans boyfriend's house

-

Percy: *over text* jason are you gay for me

Jason:

Jason:

Jason:

Jason: no gtg

Percy: he's hiding something

-

Piper: don't mean to be heterophobic but why is straight porn so gross

Nico: agreed gay porn is much better

Piper: IM SORRY WHAT

-

Percy: are there any not cool lesbians

Reyna: I mean they probably exsist

Annabeth: no

-

Leo: *sighs sadly* cock and ball torture

-

Will: guys I learnt how to play my favourite song on guitar *starts playing good lookin by dixon dallas*

-

Leo: *playing adopt me*

Leo: chat chat guess what I'm on acid

Percy: KARMA'S A BITCH

Percy: I SHOULDA KNOWN BETTER

Leo: wait since when do you play adopt me

Percy:

-

Reyna: yk those yummy smelling shampoos

Nico: yea

Reyna: well I went to walmart and thought I found some and started smelling it but this lady was giving me weird looks

Nico: oh?

Reyna: yeah

Reyna: so uh

Reyna: it was lube

-

Will: hey bbg *winks*

Nico: I will slam you down and makeout with you right now

-

Percy: hi

Jason: hi

*leaves swirl around them*

-

Leo: don't mind me just massaging my clit

-

Leo: NICO GET UR GYAT OVER HERE

Nico: WHAT????

Leo: *points* HOMOSEXUAL TENDANCIES

Nico: WHAT DID U SAY

Leo: HOMOSEXUAL TENDANCIES

Nico: OH

Nico: I HEARD SEXUAL TENDANCIES

-

Leo: *singing* coked up dick sucking hoe?

Jason: *walks in*

Jason:

Leo: oh haiiii

-

Leo: how does it feel to be Draco Malfoy

Jason: idk how does it feel to be tweek

Leo: idk pretty good

-

Reyna: you don't deserve it

Percy: yeah I do

Percy: I've been a good boy

Percy:

Percy: jesus I just turned myself on wtf

-

Leo: *in sad voice* I'm a cheeseburger

Jason: a sexy little cheeseburger

-

Will: *gets text from Nico*

Annabeth: SIMP

Will: ???

Annabeth: YOU SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPP *has siezure*

-

Will: darling

Nico: *throws phone, screams into pillow, face red* I hate that man

anyway part three will cum ( pun intended )

thanks to @crowwolf8 @justagremlinoncaffeine @localcosplaymushroom @secret-mewtwo and my om and dad for being inspiring an shit

[katsumox]

domestic moment with bf!hobie <3

hobie brown x black reader. he loves u so bad its sickening. was a blurb but i’m obsessed with this man so it’s kinda long lol.

"Anyway, 's not stupid. 'S oxymoronic," you pout, rummaging through your makeup bag.

Your Erykah playlist is ringing through your small shared flat in south London. You pull your bohemian braids back into a ponytail before continuing your search.

"Dunno what that means, love," Hobie drawls as he picks at his nails, "Besides, thought you was gonna do my eye-black or whatever, seems you're chattin' me up instead, yeah?"

"Whatever, Bibi," you smile, finally finding your liner. "And you know what an oxymoron is, you ain't dumb. Sit."

"Oh my days," Hobie mutters, fighting the smirk creeping across his face, "Can't believe you've got me following orders. Get on with it, then," he says as he sits on the loveseat.

He's fiddling with the chipped black paint on his nails again as he watches you size up his face, fingers posed like a picture frame.

You huff, two-toned lips poked out in thought. You open the liquid liner, and as you're about to do the first line of black on his eyelid-

Hobie's deep voice breaks your concentration.

"Babes. Don't fuck me up now, yeah?" He hums, looking up at you as you purse your glossy lips, head cocking to the side.

"Can't concentrate if you can't keep your mouth shut."

He smirks at your slight attitude before retorting, "Sides, you're not close enough, innit? Come sit with me," He says, patting his thighs.

You sigh as you grip the liner pen with your teeth, sinking down on his lap. His arms reflexively come to rest loosely around your waist, as his fingers drum out nameless little beats on the meat of your hips.

"Go on then, love," Hobie encourages as you raise the pen, finally making the first marks of eyeliner across his dark eyes.

"Aw shit," You mutter, looking at his liner, "Fucked it up a bit, but I'll..." You trail off as you feel the intensity of Hobie's stare.

“You’ll what, babe,” he rumbles, low eyes trained on yours.

“Smudge it,” you mutter, as Hobie tucks a loose braid behind your ear. “…Finna smudge it out.”

Hobie’s eyes flicker from yours to your lips as his ringed hand holds your jaw. His lips part, his gaze never leaving yours as he runs his thumb over your cheek.

“Whatcha lookin’ at, Bibi?”

“You,” he drawls, pulling your jaw downward, towards him.

His lips are on yours, one hand still cradling your jaw as the other rubs comforting circles into your hip. Your acrylics are scratching at his neck as he presses you impossibly closer to him, smiling into your kisses.

“Gotta finish… Lemme finish, Bibi,” you breathe into the kiss.

“Kay, then,” he hums, “Hurry, wanna keep snoggin’ you.”

You giggle at his honesty, taking the pad of your thumb to smudge his liner. After a moment, you lean back, analyzing your work.

“You so pretty, Bibi,” you mutter, softly squeezing his cheek.

“You’re talkin’,” Hobie rumbles, chucking your chin, “Pretty ting like you, callin’ me pretty.”

His lips are shiny, covered in the brown gloss and lip liner from your kisses. His fingers never stop rubbing soft circles in your hips as he looks up at you.

“Give the pretty girl another kiss,” You demand, hastily tacking on a “Please.”

Hobie snorts at your demand, pierced eyebrow cocked in question.

“You think you give orders round here?”

You raise your brows in turn, watching and waiting.

Hobie huffs in feigned exasperation.

“Alright then, fine. Fine,” he sighs, “Not doing it ‘cause you told me to. ‘M doin’ it ‘cause I like snoggin’ leng tings like you.”

He kisses you again, sighing sweet nothings into the kiss.

[saeyoungchoismaid]

hi love! big fan of your blog <3 if it wouldn't be too much trouble, could I request hc's for a gender neutral MC who calls the obey me boys (minus luke ofc) by terms of endearment as a nickname, like calling mammon honey! love you, have a great day!

Hi anon! I'm assuming you're asking for their reactions to being called smth like that and what they'd prefer to be called? Idk but that's what I did lol. Hope you enjoy!

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

Lucifer:

I think the first time you use a term of endearment for him, he's just kinda like 🧍 LMAO

like it just catches him so off guard bc he's not used to it

if you call him smth serious like "darling" or "sweetie," he will blush but try to hide it

if it's smth dumb like "my honey bunches of oats," he's going to give you the most unimpressed look imaginable

definitely prefers to call you and to be called the more 'mature' terms such as darling, honey, my love, sweetheart, my beloved, and so on

Mammon:

blushes 47103784 different shades and can't stop stuttering the first time you call him one

pretends to not like them but is actually obsessed

he will legit think you're mad at him if you use his name instead of a pet name 😭✋😂

likes calling you the cheesy, dorky stuff like sweetie (pie), cutie (pie), my honey bunches of oats, sugar, sunshine, buttercup, sweet pea, and so on

he likes when you call him babe/baby, honey, sweetie, handsome, sweet thang, good lookin, and probs smth ridiculous like stud muffin 💀

Levi:

dies on the spot. rip Levi

nah but he fr gets SO embarrassed

honestly probably takes him a while to call you anything other than your name and "normie" 😭✋

when he finally gets with the program, he'd probably start out with calling you basic stuff like babe/baby and beautiful, and then might start warming up to more playful ones like queen/king or even smth oddly specific like Pudding Pop which ofc has a funny story behind it

he likes it when you call him babe/baby. And while these next ones are so corny and cheesy that it makes him want to die, he secretly loves them. Honey bun, sweetie (pie), love bug, and mayhaps even a baby boy?

Satan:

I can't decide if he'd be blushing red from embarrassment or would just be such a cocky bastard about it 😭✋

idk maybe if he was unsure about your feelings then he'd be flustered, but if he knew how you felt, he'd just be smirking as his sharp tongue went unchecked

honestly, probably uses similar terms that Luci uses, but I think he'd also use terms that are from books, poetry, and so on. Stuff like rosebud, jewel, my beloved, apple of my eye, light of my life, beau, dove, cara mia ("my beloved" in Italian), and so on. He'd also love to call you kitten/kitty cat/etc

he'd probably, again, like similar ones that Luci prefers. I think he'd also like things like Romeo, my other half, soulmate, my one and only, and other stuff like that. He even grows to like "old man" despite the fact that he pretends to hate it 💀

Asmo:

sigh. where to even start with this man

he's been calling you pet names since day one 😭💀

it ranges from cutie to sexy, baby to mi amor, sweet cheeks to darling, little dove to doll. it's a new one every time he addresses you I stg. It honestly just depends on what kind of mood he's/you're in, where you are, who you're with, etc.

he likes when you call him the same things, but especially likes anything that refers to his looks such as handsome, dream boat, papi, hot stuff, sexy, casanova, and so on. He also likes things like prince charming and my knight in shining armor

Beel:

my time has come

probably blushes when you call him one but then gets super happy and is just cheesin for the rest of the day

loves loves loves when you both use food ones 😭😂 sweetie pie, honey (bun), jellybean, cupcake, dumpling, buttercup, sugarplum, puddin, sugar, the list goes on 😭✋😂

I think he would also like the really sweet and cute ones too though like honey bunny, love bug, my love, darling, and so on

Belphie:

can dish it out but can't eat what he's cookin LMAO

easily calls you pet names but always gets so embarrassed when you return it. (He's probably the type to get angry when you call him something sweet or cute LMAO like his embarrassment turns into anger to cope with it anogifehdfah)

he loves calling you my moon/stars/sun(shine). I think he'd also use ones like angel, babe/baby, sweetie/sweetheart, and so on

he'd like when you call him sleepyhead, teddy bear, babe/baby, and snuggle bug. Super cheesy ones like snookums or smth like that will never fail to make him grin and chuckle

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[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep4 Musings - Random (Spoilers)

IWTV's the type of show you need SEVERAL hours to unpaack--this is just the odds & ends I don't have as much to comment on. (I've queued five Ep4 musings for this evening, that are way more character/plot-heavy.)

Go AWF, Eglee! (Now I get why she lunged at Celeste like that--she was after Eglee's man!)

If someone don't get this Bilbo Baggins lookin arse ghoul TF off Louis' case--!

Sure, Mr. I Do Not Consider Myself Abused.

I hope they do, Louis, I'm not even joking. I'd love to see a whole new wave of TVC-based academia come out in AMC's wake. There's A LOT to chew on.

Get this pretty bish off my dang screeeeen.

At first I thought Daniel was referring to Lestat here, but Les isn't Lou's biographer. But I guess he meant because Les was commenting so much on everything in Louis' life at that time.

That cuck chair cost 10 million dollars, Armand.

I feel SO bad for him, if he didn't realize HOW MUCH Lestat was around--I KNOW Louis hallucinated Les while they were banging. 😬

😱

🤦

Daniel, you gigantic unmitigated MORON. 🤦 WHYYYYYYY would you reveal your hand like that?! This dude is SLIPPING. 😩

So Loumand kept dead victims saran-wrapped (bleh) in their flat, and let Daniel just stroll on in--"don't be afraid, just start the tape." No wonder Daniel called it a "dump."

Who's being reported missing/dead on the news? What's Armand mean by that being "enterprising/fascinating"? Daniel's penchant for following the scoop on gritty gory crimes?

But then Armand implied that in high school Daniel raped a girl and made her wear a paper bag over her head so he wouldn't have to look at her, not caring when she cried. 😱 And it was that "splinter of coldness in you" that made him fascinating to Armand. GOD. Anne Rice would be proud.

Louis look ready to reach over and wring Daniel's neck. 😅

Bienecke Library in New Haven is at Yale--they collect rare books & stuff. Lemme find out the Talamasca's posted up there. "Post-war reconstruction of Paris"--that's good, nice work, COLLECT YOURSELF.

Psst! I wouldn't touch that, knowing where it's been. 🤢🐀🐀🐀

Not this knockoff Lestat strutting around in housecoats. 😂

😨 I'm boycotting AMC & cancelling my AMC+ subscription.

So Loumand/Armand's art dealing was Louis' thing initially--I like it! He needs a job. I can imagine him at Sothebys or Christies or something.

If only Armand knew Florence told Louis "Don't come back, fragile son...." Louis and Marius both managed to capture the soul of Armand in art--I need to lay down.

THIS CREEP'S TRYNA STEAL ARMAND'S PHOTO! 😱 What a wanker! Literally! Dang, even in the 1940s Armand's not safe from pervs! 😩

Is this thievin pervin swindlin a-hole tryna warn MY Louis!?

(YES, actually, Louis; you DO.) Was it that Alois creep? Did Lou EVER have the correct photos? Is there a Talamasca mole in the archival staff? (Is it Rashid, LOL?) Or, god forbid, Alderman Fenwick was right all along (boo!): "You're a dumb pimp who got robbed blind years ago." A SPY'S afoot!

The jumpscares this episode are RELENTLESS! That startled me! 😅 And OUCH about the ageism. (NO ONE stood around clutching their pearls when Armand chokeslammed a little Black girl not THIRTY SECONDS AGO, but suddenly everyone's aghast that Armand hemmed up this old buffoon?!)

The SOUND I just made. XD

The coup's already happened--Loumand just doesn't know it yet. U_U

[shi-bxnii]

i will get hate for this likely but TWST HC's/Character Writings that annoy me and/or i feel are OOC

(check below cut) (all dorms/staff) (note: these are my personal opinions, do what you want, these arent for "Hey dont do this >:(" , im literally just saying what i personally feel, GO CRAZY AAA GO STUPID)

❤️Heartslaybul🃏

👑 Riddle HC: He's uptight and doesn't know fun

My take: He can be uptight and arguebly doesn't have fun in the same way others do but its been shown a few times riddle is a bit feral in his own way

♣️ Trey HC: Sweet mama friend whos done no wrong and needs a break

My take: He is a sweet mama friend but he has been shown quite a few times to do some (harmless) underhanded things for his own gain (Starsending Event: Getting a new blender/juicer/whatever it was)

♦️Cater HC: Bubbly guy whos secretly depressed with an internet addiction and THATS IT

My take: though not inherently wrong a lot of ppl dumb down his character to be very vague and two dimensional, Cater is also very alturistic in some cases and has shown to have a variety of skills (maybe not Trey/Ruggie lvl but its still skills)

♥️Ace HC: Mean as hell even in pranks(? this isnt one thats blatantly stated but written on a lot)

My take: Ace CAN be an ass but a lot of the time he will backout or realize his fuck up and make up for it, hes not jus sum ass that ppl talk too, hes a bully in the most loving way possible (lookin at deuce about that one LOL)

♠️Deuce HC: Oblivious dumbass

My take: Now in the context of School or sayings/confusing wording THIS IS VERY TRUE, but ppl make Deuce an all around idiot ive noticed and it annoys me, Deuce is very streets smart both in literal and just like,, hes a dude that knows things, and it annoys me so bad when they jus make Deuce a dumbass

🦁Savanaclaw🌞

🦁Leona HC: Hes heavily self interested

My take: also another that isnt inherently wrong but also is taken way outta context, Leona can and will be self serving but hes also shown to be kind and considerate and willing to help (even if he tries to deflect by saying it wasn't on his mind/not that it was truly within his heart), hes just a more intense Tsundere than Jack

🍩Ruggie HC: Same as leona with heavy self interest

My take: now this is more true then leonas but theres been a few times where ruggies done things for no/little gain, especially when it involves some level of danger, he may still joke about it but hes always pulled through

🐺Jack HC: this is also not a stated HC but ppl seem to forget how territorial/aggressive Jack gets so in writings hes usually just sum laid back guy

My take: Dude has been shown countless times to be headstrong and be aggressive and territorial, maybe not in the Adeuce, Tweel way but he in his own right has been shown to be aggressive (even if playful or more tamed then the formentioned)

🌊Octavinelle🫧

🐙Azul HC: Dark skin (visual HC)

My take: I AGREE AND DISAGREE, ive seen ppl give some characters vitiligo but NEVER to azul, if anything it WOULD be Azul, not only that Vitiligo is an autoimmune disease with factors such as stress, and who stresses more than anyone? AZUL, i usually consider most Visual canon to be just that with very little HC's but if Azul is to be interpreted with dark skin, mf has vitiligo

😈Floyd HC: Older of the twins and a variety of romantic HC's/writings i cant all list

My take: Its been shown in either a viginette or an event (i think an event) that despite being born within the same timing, Jade was actually first before Floyd (Jade makes a joke about keeping him around so im guessing the mf murked all his other siblings eggs djebdjsb ???) // As for romantic HC's writings what annoys me most is that he will usually be interpreted as very loving + his mood swings, i know damn well if Floyd had a gf/bf hes sTILL abiding to himself, now there are some factors that wouldnt keep this true to a default but floyd is floyd

👿Jade HC: He's just as seen in game//no real depth

My take: Its shown during the camp vargas event that Jade is actually extremely excitable and even (according to those around him (i think Cater says it)) that he even shouts in excitement about the natural Oven he was gunna make to cook the fish, Jade is very mannerly and a bit hard to read and its been stated as true, but Jade is also just a fucking nerd as well when you peel back the layers he isnt just that same guy as before

🏜️Scarabia🎆

🎉Kalim HC: Both in HC's and writings a LOT of people drive on the fact of kalims "obliviousness"

My take: NOW THIS ONE MAKES ME THE MOST ANNOYED, Kalim may be happy go lucky and sunshine like, but that motherfucker is AWARE, now you may try and ref Jamil in B4 but- BUT- Jamil is his literal lifelong friend and even if he was blatantly backstabbing at some points Kalim gave him the benefit of doubt, because hes known him all of his life and ik you mfs LYIN if you said you wouldnt for a life long friend... // Also Kalim despite his delivery being happy/sunshine like, Kalim has been shown to have a more feral (similer to Ace) side and even a more snarky side, though rare and playful at most hes not just some 🌞 fr

🐍Jamil HC: Transfem

My take: NOW BEFORE YALL GET MAD, its not the inherit fact that ppl will HC this, do what you want have fun, but i hate that a lot of the reason ppl will HC this, is simply long hair more fem aligned appearance.,,, suddenly men can't have shit,,,, again if you want to i dont really care it just a random irk of mine at most

👑Pomefiore🧪

👑Vil HC: similar to Jamil's and self interest once again

My take: Similar to Jamil, a lot of ppl will HC Vil transf/m due to the fact that within the JP ver, Vil uses a pronoun/self identifier commonly used for/in feminine use, but also for masc use,,, this one is also jus a random irk and i truly do not mind at all but i hate when ppl base of very little things (ik i sound stupid these r jus my opinions LOL)...// Self interest again but Vil's literally in B5 shown to not only not tell anyone but do it on his own whim to post Epel's family product so they can buy out to the point Epel had to give back the crates of Juice his family got him, Vil did that himself, he may be cunt(y) but hes also very considerate

🏹Rook HC: N/A

My take: Surprisingly i see very little HC's of Rook and when i do they make sense to me (Ex: Dark skin and coily/wavy hair, mf was born n raised in Afterglow savanna so even if he has whiter genetics, mf DEFINITELY having darker skin, hes a hunter hes oUTSIDE)

🍏Epel: Transmasc (but for the wrong reasons)

My take: Now of all characters to HC as trans DOES make sense, but also at the same time Epel normally doesnt mind who he is, its only when its used negatively/to mock him or something that he knows ppl will think "less of him" for it,,, this one irks me way less but a lot of ppl will HC/Write epel way more sensitively about himself then he is whether with a trans HC or not, overall though this HC does make the most sense to me

🖥️Ignihyde🎮

💠Idia HC: N/A

My take: Same as Rook, i dont see a lot i dont disagree with or aren't too far from Canon, i will say my fav Idia HC is that hes a complete weeb and has a body pillow of some sort, man wants to be a non normie so bad but fell for the normie weeb traps (body pillow and prolly owns a figurine of the waifu) LOL

🌐Ortho HC: N/A

My take: i dont see a lot of Visual or normal HC's in general for ortho which makes me sad, give my son more swag,,,, i will say i did see a HC that orthos normal body (robo) his shoulders are white boards and people will write stuff on them and that ppl will normally decorate him with stickers :3

❇️Diasomnia⚜️

🐲Malleus: HOO boy theres a lot

My take: way too many to write on this post but i will say that for rom! HC's and writings... MF THIS BITCH GOT NO RIZZ NO SWAGGER, everyone writes or HC's him to be the most romantic mystery dragon prince... brotha this man dont know how to use a phone you think he knows what talkin to a romantic interest + being good at flirting is like?? nuh uh you know damn well that mf askin lillia in near tears what the hell to do

🦇Lillia: Also a lot :(

My take: Doing rom! HC's/Writings again.,,, i feel like in general Lillia would actually avoid personal romances, he wouldn't be like EW ICKY, but considering his past and current responsibilities (Looking after his two sons Mal and Silver and then their cousin Sebek), i think it would be much harder for him to actually be involved in romance

🐊Sebek HC: Also a LOT GAHHH

My take: Now for this one i feel like ppl make Sebek similar to deuce and make him an oblivious dunce, Sebek is smart as hell but he jus doesn't understand customs outside of Fae, hes from Briar valley where most people are fae, and also dont have internet, you cant blame him for being bad at lingo and oblivious to what we would normally know by like age 8../// Also funnily enough i feel like Sebek and Mal get rev for rom HC's (Mal being filled with Swagger while Lillia helps sebek),,, i feel like despite not knowing normal customs,, if Sebek ever pursued someone romantically he would actually not be bad at it, sure a bit lost here n there but i feel like hes got swagger

⚔️Silver HC: That he takes things passively

My take: Silver has been shown to act against others wishes even those with authority (Even more so in B7 but i wont spoil),, Silver often acts as a voice of reason to Sebek as well in those moments but due to Sebeks tunnel vision up until B7, mf wont hear it, and since Silver basically has known Sebek all his life, to see him not press on the matter more in certain aspects is normal, ppl with headstrong siblings know this especially, sometimes you jus gotta be like "okay fine"

🎭Staff👥

In general i feel like a lot of people forget THIS IS AN ENTIRE SCHOOL the game is set in, teachers can take on different classes,,, but theres more teachers than just Vargas, Crewel and Trein, YOU SEE THAT BIG ASS SCHOOL? Theres a least 20 more teachers runnin around that bitch other than the ghosts, but since its a game and not like a series, Obviously they cant jus throw a random teacher every scene

✨Crowley HC: N/A

My take: A lot of HC's are usually just addition to canon or within character so i have no complaints

🐱Trein HC: Also N/A

My take: a lot of HC's for trein r very in character so i honestly dont have any annoyances

🐩Crewel HC: STRICT

My take: as a teacher? yes duh, but as a person? Crewel is definitely cheetah print joint smokin leggings and hello kitty tattoo aunt and classical and fancy wine aunt fusion, soon as mf off the clock hes MESSY in the auntie way

🥇Vargas HC: N/A

My take: now this isnt a HC/Writing but the way EVERYONE CLOWNS VARGAS ATTIRE..... the costumes for crewel n vargas in camp vargas were not bad at all imo, they werent spos to look like runway models or the latest trend that was GOOD costume design for something that was only spos to be VAGUELY seen cuz its DARK

🔮Sam HC: N/A

My take: I rarely see HC's of Sam :(

[lilgoblinbitch]

the ones who live - ep. 5 SPOILERS!!!

hehehe it’s that time again for me to spill my emotions about this new episode :)

oh fuck me here we go

WHAT THE FUCK GABRIEL????? HOLY SHIT OMG OMG????? HELLO YOU CANT JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THAT

richonne supply runs always give me life omfg. and their little dinners by the fire… UGH I CANNOT

rick is so sexy jesus christ…

THE WAY HE LET HER GO FIRST THROUGH THE DOOR AAHHHH CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD WHEN IT COMES TO RICK

OMFGGG HE SNUCK A NECKLACE FOR HER HELP

stop it. THE BAKING SODA SPEARMINT CALLBACK

“I WAS IN LOVE WITH MY SONS BEST FRIEND”. i can’t take this fluff. this is literally fanfiction writing I LOVE IT

the views are absolutely gorgeous omg???

EW WTF ARE THOSE LAST OF US LOOKIN ASS ZOMBIES

yeah you're pulling a gun on the wrong people HAHAHA

my tv parents said “um yeah i don’t think so BITCH”

“i’m peeing” LMAO I WOULD TOO IF I SAW RICK GRIMES

“us against the world” period.

GABRIEL WTF U DOING??? EW JADIS FUCK OFF GOODBYE

oh shit gabriel thinks rick’s dead and jadis is lying like the snake she is.

anne jadis whatever the fuck your name is — WAIT WHAT JADIS STOKES???? YOU NEVER MARRIED GABRIEL GOODBYE BITCH

AWWW RICK WANTING TO MARRY MICHONNE

gabriel is so wholesome i love him.

THIS EPISODE HAS MY HEART BEATING SO FAST LOL

omfg not this cunt again. jadis just die please just give up.

jadis you done failed once again. how does it feel to be a LOSER?

gabriel wtf why you kissing her… rosita did not die for that shit.

WHAT? WHAT??????? DID SHE KILL GABRIEL???

“i will die for the cause” ok good. bye!

no one gives a fuck about the echelon briefing ya dumb cunt (no one = me, btw)

her logic literally makes no sense. killing people to save humanity? that TOTALLY makes sense

NO MICHONNE STOP. NOOOOOOO YOU HAVE TO GO HOME :(

i will kms i swear. i can’t do this.

“you’ve looked better” LMAO

i hate jadis i hate jadis i hate jadis

YES SHE DYING HEHEHHE YAY

ok cool gabriel isn’t dead 👍

“the crm is not the answer and they must end” PERIOD.

AWWW THE RING wait okay i kinda like her now

rick made his promise. he killed her. good job baby <3

AWWW STOP IT MY HEART. “it’s a broken world and you’re the only thing that puts it back together” IM CRYING PLEASE OMFG THEY GOT OFFICIALLY MARRIED YIPPIEEEE

awww poor gabriel :(

well holy goddamn. that was a rollercoaster. so glad richonne is stronger than ever <3

hope everyone enjoyed this episode as much as i did (episode four is still my favorite tho)

[littldog]

// weed, // kinda meanie xiao :( he calls u a good girl ^_^ // fem reader // he burns u wit his joint lol

this is my first work!! im rly bad as i never done it before but i wanted to get this out:3 ill make a part 2 if any of u want it!! || dni minors ||

stoner xiao who wants his darling to smoke with him, no matter how hard they beg him to stop, he wont budge!! he wants his darling to feel good like him!! he’ even got you à pretty piece for u to smoke out of!! like a hello kitty pipe or bong, and pink rolling papers!!^_^

when ur sitting on his lap while hes rolling a joint at his desk, energy drink cans all over his desk makes u whine at the mess, you always tell him how much you hate the mess!! but he doesnt care. if its a problem, u should clean it then. turning around to put ur hands over ur chest, puffing ur cheeks, he notices ur sudden attitude and sighs,

“what’s with you?” he speaks, eyes not moving from the joint in his hands as he finishes rolling it, taking the joint into his hands, he looks into ur eyes with a smirk. “lick here.” voice stern, not wanting to have to repeat himself.

you dont move, no word escapes your lips as you look at him with confused eyes, tilting your head to the side. “what?” you ask, a hinge of bitchiness in ur words makes him scoff and roll his eyes.

“are you dumb? i said lick.” he moves the joint closer to ur lips. when you dont stick ur tongue out, he rolls his eyes, using his free hand to use two fingers to put into ur mouth, tugging on ur tongue. you whine when u feel the cool contact of the pads of his fingers touch ur warm muscle, instinctively, you start licking at his fingers instead of the paper.

“the paper, not my fingers, dumb bitch. have i not fucked enough sense into you?” he spoke bluntly, removing the fingers from your mouth, he uses that hand to smack your cheek, squishing your cheeks together cooing at you when he hears your whines. “you’re so so so cute baby.” he hums, rubbing your red cheek ‘n smiling softly, a sigh coming past his lips. “do you understand what i mean? i said lick the paper, please.” he spoke softly, still, with a stern tone.

you whined softly ‘n nodded, giving little kitten licks to the paper infront of ur face, trying to avoid eye contact with him as you licked, too embarrassed to stare at him while ur tongue is lapping at the paper that keeps the joint together.

“wasn’t that hard, was it? good girl.” xiao caressed ur thigh with his free hand, running circles along ur soft skin which made u whine, ur hips stuttering on his lap.

you hum at the pet name, feeling goosebumps rise on ur skin as he touched ur thighs, lookin down to see him playing with the thigh highs you love to wear for him, they were pink with white lace at the top, the fabric tight on ur skin to make ur thighs slightly pool over the thin fabric. xiao loved it. xiao is 100% a thigh guy idc he loves thighs especially fat ones

a minute or two passes that he’s been playing with your thighs, earning small whines n whimpers from you as he snapped the fabric back so it hits ur skin, the skin slowly turning red from how tight the fabric is against ur plush flesh. xiao hums, picking up the joint from his desk as he seemed to forgot about it, your body distracted him so much from what he was meant to do :( you’re so mean to him!!

xiao holds the joint between his lips, fetching the lighter from the drawer in his desk, he lights the joint, taking a drag as ur still seated on his lap. he laughed slightly as the smoke hit ur face, making you whine and hit his chest with ur fists. “stop! i already told you i dont like it..” xiao scoffs at ur protests, mocking ur whines. he takes the joint between his lips again, taking a long hit and blowing it into ur face again, watching the way ur eyebrows furrow, ur lips form into a pout and trying to escape his grasp he had on ur hips.

“stop moving. i bought you cute shit too and u dont even use it, you just bitch ‘n whine.” xiao tsked, placing the joint down into the ashtray, his hand that was once holding the joint, now on ur hip. “why not, too much of a baby to handle it?”

you shake ur head repeatedly at his remark, bouncing on his lap slowly as you keep whining. “ ‘m not! jus don’t like… the smell..” you spoke softly, looking into his eyes, they were starting to droop and turn red, the weed hitting him pretty quickly. you have to admit, he did look very pretty in this state, the way his eyes were lidded, ‘n the way his voice was softer, raspy, making you fall more in love with him. sure, you didnt really like how he always smoked, maybe he was right. you could try it!! he did buy u pretty pieces too…

but you’re not a baby!! u wanna prove him wrong n show him u can be jus like him!! it took u a minute to really think about if you should do it or not, like there was a devil and an angel on ur shoulder. you sigh and take the joint from the tray, hands shaking slightly as u hold it to ur lips, taking a small hit, you breath the smoke into ur lungs, coughing as it escapes your lips, earning a small chuckle from xiao as he watches your reaction to the smoke.

xiao looked at you with wide eyes, seeing as you took the joint from the ash tray and in between ur lips. he tsked as he took the joint from ur hands, seeing as there was now lip gloss stained on it.

“wasn’t that bad was it huh? how do you feel baby.” xiao looked at ur dazed expression, chucking softly as ur face turned red from all the coughing you’ve done, handing you a bottle of water from his desk. “here, i didn’t even tell you to do it, guess all that talk has gotten into ur skull finally, huh?” you nod while drinking the water, an “aah” sound coming from ur lips as u downed the water, resting ur head onto his chest, feeling his heartbeat against ur ears, lulling you into a state of calm.

xiao used one hand to rub ur back, adjusting himself in his gamer chair so you two could sit comfortably, the other hand holds the joint back to his lips, taking a long drag. drag after drag, he taps ur thigh, tryin to get ur attention. “you want another? almost done. prolly can get one or two more puffs out this.” he asks, you shake your head n whine, lifting ur head to look him in the eyes, bloodshot eyes meeting his, making him chuckle at ur expression. “oh baby, you’re gone huh. and you only had one hit. such a baby..” xiao coos, pinching ur cheek with his fingers. he took the last two hits from the joint, throwing his head back as the thc was flowing thru his bloodstream, tilting his head to the side. you take note of his neck on full display, n take advantage of it. you smirk slightly n lift ur head up, latching your lips onto his jaw, suckling on the soft skin, earning a groan from the man under you. “fuck… stop doin” that.” xiao mumbles, ashing the joint onto ur thigh, which made u flinch n lift ur head up to meet his eyes.

“w-what the fuck, xiao?!” you whimpered loudly, rubbing ur hand into ur thigh, trying to ease the burning pain on ur leg.

it only made his smirk grow wider to see your reaction, you used to beg him to mark you, hit you, hurt you. but now you’re complaining? what’s gotten into you lately? does xiao need to fuck more sense into you, that you belong to him? only he can do these things to you?

part 2? ^_^

[l4deeznuts]

Headcanon nellis all you have!!!

omg i’ve been meaning to respond to this i’m so sorry it took me literally forever..

but omg.. here’s me talking about nellis (kinda nsfw..)

- so basically in my lil l4d universe ellis and nick become a thing by finding alcohol in an abandoned house and getting sloshed almost immediately (empty stomach plus everything else the apocalypse sucks out of you) and well one thing led to another.. two wasted men who haven’t had sexual relief in a very long time.. sloppy gay things were just bound to happen

they wake up jumbled over each other, half their clothes off and just lookin rough. they put two and two together, freak out at first, but lowkey realize they feel better in some weird natural way

realizing they need to get a nut out every now and again, they will secretly venture off and get drunk and fuck

outside of this, they act like nothing is up. treat each other how they usually do, it’s like nothing is going on.. but because to them it really doesn’t mean anything

but.. when you’re intimate with someone, let alone in such an environment, and that person’s life is in your hands daily.. it’s natural to develop feelings

and that’s basically what happens to them. as time went on in the apocalypse, protecting and saving each other, being vulnerable in multiple ways, etc.. add in sticking their dicks in each other, of course they’re gonna fall in love smh

BUT.. it’s not that easy to admit nor accept. they’re dumb men

so they just.. continue their apocalyptic lives with this newfound family, trying to survive

- i don’t see ellis as the typical naive kid. is he immature and dumb? yes.. BUT he’s a young southern man.. he isn’t innocent

i bring this up bc throughout the years the overall nellis trope has been nick being solely a mysterious jackass and ellis solely a childish shy boy. very yaoi-esque lol

ellis is a rough and tough born and raised southern boy! just cuz he got choked up on his words with zoey doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be confident in anything else (and i mean it’s zoey… who wouldn’t fumble their words)

so i just don’t see the “nick pushes ellis against the wall and he’s all blushy and shy and doesn’t know what to say”

he would either be like oh hell yea right on brother i’m down for this.. or he would punch nick in the face

- ellis definitely brings out the goofball in nick. it took him a minute to crack those old walls but once he did he realized nick actually can be a fun normal human being

- nick is definitely a gossiper and surprisingly so is ellis (but yet not that surprising bc he is from the south lolol) (ALL 4 OF THE L4D2 SURVIVORS WOULD BE BIG GOSSIPERS IMO LOL)

- it actually took them a very very long time to actually have penetrating sex. they never had been with men before, so they were virgins technically. for a while all they did was oral, handjobs, etc. they had to slowly make their way to third base lol.. and when they did i think that would be where the genuine feelings truly blossomed between them

um um um i have way more headcanons but i have 2 brain cell so if you wanna hear more i would need to get asked like.. specific topics LOL

[ma3mae]

How much do you want to bet that Tecchou has a god damn bug collection and he just shows it off to you proudly😭 "Babe come look it's my favourite beetle boogahooga" I JUST KNOW HE GIVES EITHER THE MOST BASIC NAMES OR LIKE "MEGA BLENDER X300 MAX"

Also I love your writing so much omfg😔🩷🩷

Don't be so antsy!

Summary: It's been a few months since Tetchou declared his love for you and he couldn't be happier, especially after finally showing you his treasured collection! But how will you react?

Genre: FEAR 🤡 because insects... Also cracky and a bit of fluff bc i just love him so much 💕😭 slight suggestive hint at the end 🤓

A/N: FOAMING AT MY MOUTH FROM EXCITEMENT!!!! still cant believe that u love my writing 😭😩fangirling so hard rn, time to print, frame and hang this onto my wall. No one can stop me 😤😤😤

Suehiro Tetchou

You knew about his adoration for bugs even before the both of you got together

It wasnt smth he'd be talking about for HOURS bc its just a topic never really spoken about

all the other hunting dogs know about it but... they wanted to spare u LMAO 😭

like u accompany him to his work place and his colleagues r outside of the dooe, waiting for him so they can leave

u r like waving at them and teruko waves back but yall r just caught off guard when jouno YELLs out of nowhere "MOVE YOUR DUMB ASS ALREADY OVER HERE 💀💀"

Like was he yelling at u??? Yall we dont know who he lookin at bc HOW 😭😭😭😩 srynotsry

But u realised who he meant when u looked behind u and tf 🤨🤨🤨

Tetchou just EMERGES out of a fking bush and 🤨🤨 is that 🤨🤨 a random ass bug in his hand 🤨🤨🤨 he got KIDNAPPED

"But I found this cool grasshopper... His name's Bush."

"DONT GIVE IT A NAME! PUT THAT SHIT BACK ALREADY AND M O V E"

Jouno is just seconds away from beating the shit out of him bc

"WHERE'D HE GET THAT JAR FROM???" "Teruko, that's not important. Make him HURRY UP ALREADY"

"Can we take Leaf with us?"Jouno is already taking his sword out to kill that thing 💀💀

cue a RANDOM ASS FIGHT 💀💀💀

"PUT IT BACK AND LETS MOVE YOU FUCKER" "No, I won't let you hurt Omega 300 GT 5" "Wait I thought his name wa-UGH IDC ILL KILL THAT THING FFS"

tachihara just turns away with "k, think im walking home already BYE"

teruko just yanks him back and the other boys too so that they can finally leave

"Can I take him wit-" "No. I know you like these kinds of things but no. Also if you want that thing to actually LIVE then put it back bc u know who will exterminate the shit out of it." "Hm. 😐"

He just walks up to u and goes "can u take this. please"

U cant say no to his puppy eyes 👁️👁️

You're just so confused but maybe its also cute??? U just thought that its a little interest in him but BOY

It wasnt so little as u thought 🤓 LOL i gotta get my head out of the gutter

*

*

********

Holding hands while going on a stroll was something you'd often find yourself doing during your free time together, especially when the sun was shining so brightly while a fresh spring breeze would occasionally sweep through the air.

Humming a random tune while you lightly swayed your joined hands back and forth.

Tetchou couldn't help but let a soft smile grace his lips at the slightly childish action.

No words could describe how much he enjoyed your leisurely strolls together. It would be seen as a nearly generic thing to do together as a couple but for him it was a time to be treated as sacred. Where else could he tuck your hair behind your ears when the wind would blow through it? Or where else could he see the sunlight make you shine impossibly brighter in his eyes, almost blindingly so?

But what really excited him were the "little" discoveries you'd make on your way.

And oh wait? What's tha-

"Y/N."

Hearing your name made you about to turn your face towards him yet there was no need!

Since your boyfriend forgot how strong he was...

Yanking a bit too hard on your arm made you hit his chest with your back, a small "oof" slipping past your lips.

"OUCH, Tetchou??? What in the-"

"Look."

"Huh?"

You let your gaze follow the direction his outstretched arm, finally stopping at what he was pointing at with his index finger.

To your not so much surprise it was a-

"It's a colony of ants. Look at how hard they're working, Y/N."

Before you could even think of stopping him, he had already moved towards them, crouching down to get a closer look.

You let out a sigh yet couldn't help smiling at his endearing but also random antics.

No matter how many times it would help, it never managed to not be funny. The Hunting Dogs were known for how powerful yet also how "eccentric" the members were, yet witnessing it for the first time and continuing to live with it never failed to bring a smile on your face.

Especially with just how cute your boyfriend looked right now! The way his eyes would twinkle at the mention of insects was something you personally could only understand but never relate to.

As much as you would love to go along and try to enjoy it with him, you kinda wanted to continue on your walk.

Because when he's focused on something then it would be a real nuisance to get him away from it.

But that's not a problem for the love of his life, right?

*

*

*********

Jokes on you, it actually was 💀

Like u got a hunch hes doing it on purpose when he pulls his puppy eyes and that barely but noticeable enough atleast for you pout on u when u said

"I love you, but i kinda wanna yk walk?"

"But Y/N 😟. *points at the ants* only for a minute, please 🥺"

YALL KNOW 😩 YALL KNOOOOW ITS NOT GONNA BE A MINUTE 😔😔😔

Your legs gonna start cramping from watching these fuckers crawl around??? Nah no one CARES 😤😤 jk jk

our cutie tetchouie would NEVER ignore his partners needs okur okur

Like hes already whipped from how we r atleast TRYING to enjoy what hes enjoying

He knows how unlikeable these little crawlers i hate bugs can be but his s/o is trying so hard and he just 🥺🥺🥺 looks at u wirh heart eyes

dw if u cant walk, he'll give u either a piggyback ride yall being cute 😤💕 or the classic bridal style 😩

And dw if he finds another interesting bug but his hands r occupied? Nah, he gon GET THAT ANYWAY

*

*

*********

"ACHOO"

"Bless you."

"Thanks." You told him as you lightly rubbed your nose with the back of your hand. You loved his hair but it would often tickle your nose whenever you'd try to look over his shoulder as he was carrying you on his back.

It was one of the small ways of him apologizing to you and enduring his antics.

His heart would nearly suffocate him from how much it would swell whenever you'd just reassure him that it was totally okay for you. If he loved ants then it's just what he loved and as his partner, you'd be open for everything that makes him happy.

Yet he still tried to keep it down around you so he was often a bit torn between.

"Ah. Wait is that...?"

Oh no.

You knew it.

You knew what was about to happen next.

Before you could stop him, he was already walking off of the path and into the field.

A whine got past your lips yet he seemed too caught up in his fascination of...?

"A horned beetle!"

Some meters above you, sat a beetle on a branch, seemingly undisturbed by the both of you and yet in Tetchou's eyes, it equaled a sacred national treasure.

A treasure that he wanted to get his hands on.

"Hold tight, Y/N."

"WAIT N-!"

Hooking your arm and legs tightly like a koala around his body, he made a leap for it. You didn't know HOW he managed to do it every time but there he was.

Jumping onto the tree and quickly pulling a tiny jar out of a pocket in his blazer (you don't even know how he even hid that...) and-

"I got it!" He exclaimed in happiness as he jumped down, holding his hand onto the open jar. Screwing a lid onto it, he gave it a quick glance before putting it back into his pocket.

Noticing that you were slowly losing your grip on him, he hooked his arms under your legs, hoisting you up again before almost nonchalantly continuing your walk as if he hadn't just jumped up a tree for a beetle...

"Uhm, you don't wanna stare at it or something?" You asked, genuinely surprised yet almost regretting the question since it could change his mind.

"No, I can do that at home. Your legs are hurting after all."

A smile spread onto your lips at his kind words, only spreading further after hearing a slight hitch in his breathing as you let your lips graze his neck before planting a kiss on it.

"Anything for my love, you know? By the way, have you thought of a name yet for your new little friend?"

"I have but-"

You felt him tighten his grip around your legs before he suddenly began to pick up his pace, walking in long and fast strides.

"Want to be home as fast as possible, so we can you know..."

He peeked over his shoulder to see your slightly reddened face before looking forward, strongly focused on one thing.

"continue what you've started."

A small laugh slipped out of him, your nose tickling his neck as you hid your face in it, immediately knowing what he was implying and well...

You weren't complaining.

*

*

********

No one would have expected it but... our boy's pretty easy to rile up 😤😩

yall think he cute and innocent?? Nah nah he wanna get into that shi* too like hes a whipped and legit down bad man for his love rightfully so ✋✋

dw after yall r done, he'll def bring back the topic of "naming his friend/-s" and welp

u better be ready to spend ur weekend on that kinda thing 💀💀💀 and yall gonna settle on the either cutest or most ridiculous shit...

Its either "Groundbreaker 500, The Nightmare of All" or "sugarberry twinkle star" 🤓🤓 if he wants to honor the place he found it (like in the beginning ^), uhhhhhh 🤨

This btch's name is gonna be "leftover bread" or smth bc it was on it when he found that thing💀

yall cant convince me otherwise BYE 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

LOL, this got way too long and i kinda got carried away but that always happens with him 😩😩😩 maybe rushed at the end but i hope u r happy with this @soysaucefu 💅💕💕

[b1mbodoll]

i can’t believe people think being a loser is a bad thing like …

my type is very much pathetic losers like it’s so hot ??? i fucking love losers i’m a loser !!

also can we talk about how silly loser is as a word/adjective. yea this guy never wins. he loses a lot. a loser. lol

sorry i’m writing an essay on gender performativity and interpellation i’m in analysis mode

love u gabi never stop writing loser!jake because he is so loser coded (all st peter’s boys are tbh… ive been burnt my first bf went there and he SUCKED not even a loser just a dick)

ok bye bye i gotta finish this!!!

love, 🔗

if ur a loser i Need you carnally, expeditiously and biblically. but people need to learn the difference betweet oh they’re a loser 😍😍😫🤤🤤🫣🤭 and oh. they’re a Loser 🤨😒😒🤕

ur so fucking right it’s absolutely hilarious like. Loser. idk i love it 😭

pls dont apologize baby ur brain is soooo sexy 😵‍💫 m like oh nooo im so dumb n ditzy m just a bimbo!!!! need u to be my tutor, i’ll do anythinggggggg haha u r soooo intelligent n hot n smart pls 🥺🥺🥺🥺😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😞😞

love u more sweetheart, i promise i will nvr ever stop, just for u !!!! n im going to track ur ex down and Teach Him A Lesson. he will feel my wrath. he’s awful n i will Destroy Him… anyway yeah i love u most m lookin forward to ur next ask ilysm lets kiss

bye baby good luck with ur essay