#he's prolly in the woods somewhere....

[cahrolinehasmoved]

ya'll , it's been a wild morning. and by wild i mean , some dude barricaded himself in someone's house that he was trying to rob...and that happened at 4am and the road i live off of ( cause i live on a dirt road ) , is swarming with cops. im so confused as to how tf this dude got away. like did they NOT have the backdoor and windows watched?????? anyways, my house and all is fully locked for the day until they catch him.

[oncewhenalongtimeago]

hello! i have a request for 'SbITILYP', if you don't mind. how about the reader trying to do something for hiccup to impress him/show him that she likes him? hiccup has been doing a lot of things for the reader so I think it'd be cute seeing the reader awkwardly attempt to do the same :)

Sorry, but I Think I Lost Your Plot pt 28

Pairing: Onesided!Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III x Modern!Fem!Reader

Words: 1110

Things come to a simple end.

Tags: Time Travel, Reader into Movieverse, final part, half-fill

<Previous - First>

“I’m surprised it went this smooth,” Stoick grumbled, voice hollow with distance, “With Alvin-... I’d expect something from Hiccup, at least. That boy…”

“He’s ‘Too busy, eh?” Gobber asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, grunting and hopping as he did it, reattaching his prosthetic to his leg nub, “Prolly been off mackin’ on tha’ girlfriend o’ his.”

Right… Alvin.

“Ah,” Hiccup was flushed, rubbing his neck and brushing against already messy hair, “Yeah, I forgot about that…”

Toothless was around somewhere.

He glanced to the side, where you stood, equally embarrassed and mussed, shoulders hunched slightly, very red in the face.

You shifted in your skirts, resisting the urge to use your boot to scratch at the back of your thigh, which had been itchy for a little while, since you brushed up against some plant walking back from the forest.

You were just around the corner from Hiccup’s Dad -a bright and heavily painted corner; turns out his whole ‘painting the houses’ thing caught on, which meant a lot less of things burning down- though he wasn’t sure if you’d heard.

All the talk of criminal executions was depressing, though you missed it, lost in the puppy-love haze phase of your new relationship. Still, it was kind of a bummer. It was for the best that Alvin was gone, though. Less danger in that for you too -not just the riders or Stoick or anything else.

You hoped it didn’t bum Hiccup out too bad. You noticed it had been getting him down, and you’d done your best.

Your fingers curled together, hooked securely and delicately to his by the fingerpads, and you and Hiccup stood close enough that you could feel his body heat through his tunic though not yet enough for the two of you to be touching by the arm.

You’d just gotten back from a successful trip to the glowing algae pool.

His vest was slightly displaced and you were both sure he’d lost a bead or two.

In one hand you held the little Fireworm, wrapped in a carefully made chainmail blanket -it was hard to come up with something that wouldn’t pinch skin or scales- also wrapped in a layer of leather so that you could hold it comfortably. 

It squirmed slightly. 

He scuffed his prosthetic slightly, recently oiled, recently reforged with treads beaten into the bottom, which did a lot to help with gripping wet wood while you were walking hand-in-hand around Berk.

You wore a red tunic -his, really, he’d lent it to you again after you’d gotten some muck on yours- and a string of your own beads on leather cord tied around your neck, something Hiccup had picked nonchalantly from the forge and used to help make you a necklace. 

He’d tried to make you a bead once, but he wasn’t much of an artisan. 

“I mean, me too,” You huffed, feather swaying as you shifted, attached to a stick like a pom-pom on one end of a cat toy, “We’ve been busy with other things, though- Not like what Gobber said- I mean, you know…”

Hiccup nodded, though he was still looking forward. This was all still super new for the both of you.

 It would feel that way for a while.

You were still in disbelief- it was a wonder to you why he and Astrid didn’t pair up before. 

He traced the collar of his scarf slightly as Sharpshot lolled lazily by your feet, slightly wet and glow-ey by his lower half whenever he teased the shade with his tail. 

You knew Hiccup was bummed Devastated that the Screaming Death had destroyed all his hard work -a good deal of the things he’d built up in the village for you, though with some hard work and dirt pushed under your fingernails it had been fixed up pretty easy.

He seemed happier now. It hadn’t really been something you’d planned but you’d distracted him somewhat- your relationship was still very, very new, still.

And you made him a gift.

You’d tried crafting again. It was very scratchy and you’d definitely not done a very good job making sure the whole thing was even but it was a nice fading rainbow, the yarn dyed in all the colors in Roy G. Biv in darker, neutral tones.

“Looks like you fixed things right up, ‘Dragon Master,’” You stuck out your tongue at him, looking smug.

It -the scarf- covered the bottom of Hiccup’s chin. It didn’t really fit him but he wore it with pride, which made something flutter around in your guts in a way that was almost uncomfortable.

You predicted it would be around a week before he took it off.

Hiccup had unintentionally returned the favor. You got a satchel from him, small and attached to a belt with norse knots imprinted around the edges, sown neatly together. It was sort of like a fanny pack but with more buckles and also cool.

“Did you really have to use that?” Hiccup said, leaning his head towards you momentarily.

Sharpshot churr-ed in the squawky squeaky way only a terror could, blinking up at the feather attached to your hip as you adjusted your hand in Hiccup’s.

The small Fireworm in your other hand blinked beadily as it sometimes very rarely did.

“It is tacky,” You admitted, though that was definitely why you used it, “But you did a good enough job to deserve it, not that you have to do anything to deserve things.”

You gently bumped into him with your hip.

And he did a great job. Berk was back to how it was just before the Screaming Death -most of the roses ended up being fine, and the plants that were lost were easily replaced and reinforced by spiked metal fences and wooden pikes.

You’d also added a few new planters. Many of the houses stationed under ramps were popular real estate now for metal tins for glowing mushroom growing, which you knew there many new homeowners were proud of, not just because of the fact that it made them a lot of money.

The mushrooms were great for paint making and the extra roofing kept dragons from jumping over houses and messing with tiling.

It was heavy maintenance, but they were all Vikings. For a modern girl like you, you found it was all worth it, if not just for the convenience.

Living on Berk was rough, but it was good and different now. Even with all the Outcasts and the dragons and the hunters and everything else missing.

And you were happy. 

And maybe Hiccup’s crush hadn’t ended up being so onesided after all.

[random-vyxx]

Guys guys guys GUYS.... guys tw: opinions...

Norm isn't a bloodthirsty, periodic shooter!

Norm owns a gun. He does hunt. Vro isn't afraid to defend himself.. Okay!??!? Er gyatt that dow??n??? Well, people seem to MISCHARAVTERIZE taht!!! You see... Hes a veteran, and prolly has shot people.. Didn't mean he actively WANTS to shoot people. Okay? We getting somewhere? He WOULD pull his gun out, but just to intimidate. Example: pulling out a gun when not necessary (see dialtown tool friends). But would he shoot? No!!! Im not saying hed never shoot, his ass would be paranoid from living in the fucking WOODS (coyotes, wolves, boars), but if you said he wss a silly old man, hes NOT GUNNA SHOOT YOU, hes prolly just reiterate hes in his forties and look at you like youre crazy. He doesn't actively want to kill people hes not a monster IT LITERALLY SYAS THAT IN GAME, yet people seem to twist his stance on... Ehooting. The revenge thing was because mingus is actually an ASSHOLE (i love ber btw 🤕🤕). Hes not all bark no bite, by any means, its just pulling out a gun in a warning way to say he would if the situation called for it.. PleASE... PLEASE TELL ME YOU UNDERSTAND. PLEASE. PLEASE.

[bitterletters]

I'm a bit late, usually am to be honest. But here's Prompt One for Spooktober: "They are calling us…" "Don't listen to them. Do you hear me? Don't listen to a word they promise you!" Didn't like it and prolly won't finish it.

Alice and I moved to her hometown about two weeks ago. I was a college student and Alice was an artist. This meant saying money was tight was an understatement, even with us both working, we just couldn't afford the rent in a bigger city. So Alice's mother suggested we move into her childhood home, since she'd moved into assisted living. Alice was hesitant, but when our landlord increased the rent again, she changed her mind.

The move itself was painless, the beat up van was plenty large enough to pack up her art supplies and my own meager belongings. The house was already furnished, so we left our shitty mattress and wobbly table with its single chair behind. On the way out the door, the stray cat I'd been calling Gregory for a year came sauntering up. He was a fluffy orange beast of a furball and he looked as shocked as I did when Alice, with an angry sort of determination, scooped him up and tossed him in the van without so much as a "here kitty kitty". Luckily Gregory, with his smooshed little face, wasn't offended for long and soon curled up in my lap to sleep as the van rumbled along, sounding just as angry as Alice looked. I asked what was on her mind, but Alice simply pinched her lips together, dark eyes narrowed at the road. I knew better than to push her while she was like that and once we got to her hometown, it never came up again.

Gregory and I settled into the house nicely, it wasn't big or fancy but was it was cozy, all warm colors and family photos in a three bedroom setting. Alice, after her initial anger on the drive up, seemed her usual restless self. That was always her way, it had driven me mad at first, but over time I'd grown to cherish that about her. Her soft pacing footsteps in the kitchen at 3am while she scrolled through reference photos, followed inevitably by me finding her curled up somewhere random in the afternoon. I would usually join her for a nap then and she often teased me, saying; "You're the only woman I know who sleeps so much" I never had the heart to tell her that she actually didn't sleep enough, those two hour naps weren't nearly enough.

Things didn't get weird until about three days ago, I stopped by the nursing home Alice said her mom was in and asked to see her. The nurse frowned, a funny pinched look on her face, like she smelled something bad. "Are you sure you wanna see Ms. Bailey?" she asked in that voice that said she figured I probably didn't. I smiled back, years of customer service had taught me how to deal with this sort of judgmental attitude. "Yes, I do ma'am. I'm Nina, Alice Bailey's girlfriend. I thought I'd stop by and say hello to Laura. What room number is she in?" I thought the nurse might look put out or annoyed with my insistence, but instead she just looked tired and a bit sad. She pointed me to room 43 and I was on my way. When I glanced back over my shoulder, feeling as though I was being watched, the nurse was already gone. I found my stomach twisting a bit with sudden nerves but I figured it was lunch time and pushed the feeling away. I knocked on Laura's door, frowning at how damaged her door seemed to be, something had burnt the wood of the door at some point and then painted rather sloppily over the charring. I soon found myself forgetting about my disgruntlement at the state of the nursing home, as Laura invited me in and we began to chat.

We had such a good time that I lost track of time. It was a good hour past sunset when I realized I was meant to be home hours ago. Laughing at my carelessness, I apologized to Alice's mother and stood to leave. She caught my wrist and tugged me closer with a strength that seemed a bit out of place on a frail old woman. Her hand was cold and leathery in a way that made me want to jerk away. She looked up at me from her big comfy pile of blankets in her arm chair, her eyes were dark like Alice's. She stared into my face and for a moment her expression twisted, looking like she desperately wanted to say something. Laura didn't say anything though, not for a long moment where it felt like I was frozen down to my bones. Eventually she heaved a sigh and looked away from me and all was normal again. "They're calling us, you know." She mumbled, releasing my arm. I wanted to ask more but my phone rang, Alice was calling.

[pocketsniper]

RAAAGH THEY LOOK SO COOL!

I feel like I remember seeing lore for Pom Pom somewhere, but scrolling through the tag didn’t get me anywhere. Might be thinking of another spy oc of yours (spoon fella prolly) but does Pom Pom have any background? Or are they just a silly? 👀

I’m sitting here on a log in the middle of the woods by a campfire I want to hear artist rambles rn (if you wanna) :0

none of my loadouts are what I would consider 'ocs'. they're more of personas if anything, they don't have lore, and while I do just use them as muses to draw whatever I feel like a lot, whatever personality I give them outside of those sorts of drawings is just my personality (or my perception of my personality) usually. They only even have names for file organization purposes.

You are likely thinking of Spoons, though I've posted about a few different spy ocs I think, all of them buts Spoons were pretty one-note.

I did once joke about all of my loadouts needing glasses (since I do), so I guess that's something? Joke was that all of them need glasses but don't wear them (except my Medic since medic does by default) and the only one that doesn't need glasses is my Demo loadout. He has perfect 20/20 vision. This is, again, joke 'lore' though.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

YAYYYY DRREAMSTUUCK HOURS!!!!! are there any specific headcanons you have that wont be explicitly included in the fic ?? things like. idk worldbuilding or little details that are so obscure that writing about them would be clunky or hard to fit nicely into plot. stuff like that etc :]

YES YES. YES I DO. okay first of all dstuck tommy is canonically trans so write that down. it's not really mentioned because wilbur straight up did not introduce the concept of gender to this kid and just called tommy he/him because he knew paradox space was going to give him a son no matter what, so when tommy learned what gender was and said "hey i'm a man >:3" wilbur was like sure ok. thog don't caare!! it is alluded to though and it will be heavily implied in my guardian wilbur oneshot that i'll prolly post sometime in the next couple months after i introduce our fourth beta player :3 (SPOILERS it's aimsey our fourth player is aimsey i feel like i've mentioned it before but yeah. fourth player aimsey :3 the session needs a knight so AIMSEY!!!)

ERET. they will not go crazy go stupid during murderstuck, they are not one of the murderers, but the concept of betrayal and redemption is very important to eret's character so they do have a backstory where they tried to hand skeppy over to the empire and get him culled. it will be mentioned!! probably will expand on it more in meteorstuck if possible, but for now it's barely there. there's SO much to include in dstuck it's insane

ponk lives in a tree because they ran away from the neighborhood they used to live in. someone got culled by some drones and in a panic, ponk ran away with their lusus and disappeared into the woods, where they met sapnap!! they were two of the first ones to meet, followed by sam, bad, and skeppy. they were the original five of their group before everyone else came in!

giving u some beta kids lore rn that will be expanded on in my guardian oneshots :3 tubbo started coding things at like three years old. GENIUS KID! PRODIGY!! he can also just kind of feel when other people are nearby? schlatt never caught him awake at night because tubbo without even hearing him would hide his book or device under his pillow when schlatt is just THINKING of checking on the kid. insane. ranboo is constantly aware of the space around him. try to trip him?? he's hopping over your foot without even realizing it. throw something at him?? he's dodging or catching it without looking up. because of this he has near perfect aim. would KILL IT in baseball!!! also would make a great marksman! unfortunately his weapon of choice is a sword, but he'll get really good with that as well and may even throw his blades in a strife. always hits his targets. tommy can keep perfect time without a metronome. knows exactly what time it is without looking. knows exactly how much time has passed since something happened last, down to the second. would make a wonderful dancer for the way he keeps time, but wants to be like his bro and become a musician!! kind of unnerving when he says "it's 1:32 pm" without even looking up from his keyboard when wilbur asks what time it is. aimsey. kind of a terrifying kid to raise! there one second and gone the next. shadows are their friend. constantly disappearing somewhere, not like they're invisible, but like they're just. completely unnoticeable until they speak. your gaze just sweeps right over them, thinking they're another shadow in the corner. kristen wakes up in the middle of the night thinking no one is in her room and then aimsey says "grandma i frew up" suddenly standing at the end of her bed. it's a got damn wonder that kid didn't give her a heart attack before the game

OOH another very little thing. ranboosprite? from the doomed timeline? not dead. :3 they'll be back :3 hehehehehehe

[poly-star-trio]

i dont think weve talked much ab how th creep actually got 3 n 4 but there are earlier asks ab th creep still having some influence over 4 so. what if it made 4 go back t th old castle site where th big ol maw is. like 4 is just walking alone thru th woods t th old castle in th middle of th night in a daze w hazy, unfocused eyes

as for 3?? well!! that cld prolly b from meme guardian senses!!! bc 4 is 1. being mind controlled basically so thats setting off alarm bells and 2. heading straight back to the giant fleshpit that took him over like a month or so ago. while 3 prolly doesnt. know exactly why he needs t find 4 he knows smth fucked up is goin on w 4, enough t make him run outside of th internet graveyard in th middle of th night

also bonus points if 4 snaps out of it when 3 gets his attention RIGHT b4 he touches th meat creature n pulls away, but it grabs him anyway n 3, trying t pull 4 away so he doesnt get pulled in again, gets pulled in as well

wow that was long sorry

THIS IS SO AWESOME ACTUALLY . do not apologise for writing long paragraphs because they are always so cool

i really like this idea but the idea i had in my mind is that the creep wouldve been slowly taking over his body . maybe eating away at his brain or soemthing until it gets access . then boom mind control

and i think it was stated somewhere that 4 , in an undead state , wouldve just . taken 3 with him back to the old castle . but yknow what i like the idea of 3 sensing somethings wrong and rushing to help

maybe the creep did that on purpose ! maybe it was luring 3 in by sending signals thru 4

[devious-kitten]

Re-watching Stranger Things I can't help but notice how terrible officer callahan and powell are at their job. -_-

two teenagers went missing within half a week.

two teenagers went missing within half a week both at night right next to the woods.

two teenagers went missing within a week at night, near the woods in a one mile area..

but their just like 'nah probably has nothing to do with each other' 'your friend ran away because you got a boyfriend' 'that thing you say you saw in the woods is irrelevant to your friend being missing since youre prolly making it up anyway' 'your best friend was so jealous of you sleeping with a cute guy that she went ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ somewhere for two days before you found her car and reported it so she could then run away'

and i'm just here watching like.. WAT? the connection between barbs disappearance and will's disappearance might be circumstantial, but it's alot of circumstantial and more importantly itz suspicious.

Mike Wheeler's best friend goes missing then four days later Nancy Wheelers best friend goes missing.? Will's bike is found dropped on the ground just off the road in the woods then three days later Nancy says she saw something big and scary in the woods near where Barb last was.? Will's body was found in the quarry the day Barb is reported missing.? All of this happens in a one mile-ish radius.? Joyce said she heard Will on the phone a day-and-a-halfish after will goes missing and Nancy says Barbs car was still at steves the day after Barb went missing.? And suddenly the Byers phone is broken in a way an electrician could probably make happen and Barbs car isnt there when the police look.?

Will's autopsy hadn't even been done yet by the time callahan and powell talk to Nancy so they can't even use the excuse of 'Wills death was an accident so theres no reason to suspect foul play with Barb disappearing'

Both Nancy and Joyce's stories sound crazy sure. A faceless thing in the woods (idk if Nancy actually told them that part since callahan refers to it as a bear) and Will being 'in the lights/wall'..insane. buuuut im pretty sure even back in the 80's cops were aware witness (especially destressed witness) statements arent entirely reliable, as in you have to take the parts that sound crazy and distil it to what makes sense. ie. if a kid tells you it was a yellow dragon when you ask who attacked them maybe look for a guy whos smoking in a yellow raincoat with a big pointy hood. Or more to the point with Nancy and Joyce, a faceless monster in the woods coulda been a guy in an elaborate costume. idk how to explain the Wills-in-the-walls thing but the lights coulda been someone messed with their houses wiring or smthn

The point is Callahan and Powell are incompetent lazy misogynistic morons who are terrible at their job and shoulda been fired by Hop as soon as he found out about the report on Barb going missing too.

[cultdionysus]

hi!!

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ About me ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

➵22

➵he/they

➵somewhere between punk & emo

➵Hellenistic pagan, still somewhat a beginner so I’m still learning :-)

➵likes + follows from @nappingpaperclip

➵General warning for drugs, alcohol, mildly nsfw stuff . I will probably (definitely) post while inebriated but thats prolly to be expected from a Dionysus worshipper

this blog is a welcome space for freaks and weirdos. Let’s go run in the woods together <3

🧿Nazi scum/racists/zionists/transphobes/homophobes/ableists/classists/pedos and their apologists fuck off. Kill the colonialist in your head and hearts or die trying. 🧿

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗Tags ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

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─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Devotional Playlists ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

(songs aren’t necessarily about the Gods mostly stuff I think they’d like)

★ Dionysus ★

☀︎ Apollo ☀︎

⚚ Hermes ⚚

[a-table-of-fics]

Oddworld: Conar’s Ambition, Chapter 11, Draft 1

“Maybe if we’re lucky,” Conar said, “our stuff’ll still be there.”

Slim nodded, rubbing his head. His cap was unsurprisingly lost in the chaos, but that was the least of his worries. He looked around, realizing that he had no idea where he had come from. The foliage was thick, and he couldn’t see any footprints amongst the roots, rock, or moss.

The buzzing of insects around didn’t help, nor did the sounds of distant rustling echoing from all sides. Slim crept up to the base of a tree trunk, putting his back against it as best he could. He heard a low rumble somewhere, and reflexively made a grab for a nearby branch, hefty hands swinging to break it off and make an impromptu weapon.

“Good thinkin’,” Conar said. “Better than going out there unarmed.”

“Shh!”

They waited for a few seconds, Slim deciding the branch made a better spiked club than it would a spear, shifting his grip accordingly. Eyes darted every which way, finally focusing on some underbrush that started rustling.

Slim raised his club, readying himself for whatever would lunge his way.

Conar slowly crept back, unsure of what else to do but give advice from the sidelines.

The rustling grew more intense, the thick leaves making a hideous hissing sound as the low roar echoed through the woods again.

“On my mark,” Conar said, “get it before it gets you!”

A trembling Slim nodded, not breaking contact with the bush.

“Ready…”

Even the trees nearby were starting to tremble, scaring the birds out. The cacophony of caws and screeches did nothing to make this easier for Slim.

“Ready…”

This was it. A tree buckled and collapsed, as if pushed by some leviathan. The roars were getting louder, and the ground started to shake, rattling small rocks.

“Now!”

Slim let out a yell and charged forward, bringing the club straight down. He thought it was a good battlecry, but Conar heard the terrified scream of an injured Meep in that.

His terror-fueled fury turned to confusion, however, when he was halfway into the brush and couldn’t see, feel, or hit anything other than the ground and some more twig-like branches.

Finally, he saw it – a Stunk had hopped on out of the bush, frantically trying to escape the wild swings and generally making the air fouler. Conar and Slim watched as it squeaked in protest of this assault, then started to scamper off. The rumbling was gone.

They looked at each other, wondering who would break the stunned silence first.

“Oh, man!” Conar finally burst out laughing. “I prolly could’ve taken him out myself!”

“Y-yeah…” Slim said, nervously laughing, “that thing really had us—”

And then the ground exploded.

Conar clung tighter to the tree, and could do little but watch as Slim was knocked over by a blast of mud and stone.

The Stunk was gone in half a scream, to be replaced with a massive, worm-like creature. It was briefly seen in the monster’s hideously fanged underbite before disappearing down the folded gullet. There wasn’t a moment before it turned to Slim, letting out another roar as it lunged. Slim could barely roll out of the way in time, and dodging the dirt and stone was out of the question.

He never got to his feet faster than when he saw the worm’s head snap towards him the instant it was out again. He jumped out of the way of another headfirst dive, the worm this time disappearing into the hole it made.

“Whatdoidowhatdoidowhatdoido!?” Slim demanded, making a mad dash for Conar’s tree.

“Whaddaya think, Mud?” Conar shouted. “RUN!”

He clambered down, watching for any kind of opening or anything. Maybe he could lure the creature into a lake or something, but it was clear that Slim needed help now.

Maybe a meal that couldn’t run so fast would be enticing, at least. It worked for Slogs.

He watched as Slim clambered up another tree, the earth raising and splitting a few yards behind him. Damn, could Mudokons run.

“Hey, lumpy!” he called out, hurling a stone as the worm emerged once more.

It shattered with no reaction against the beast’s plated back. There wasn’t so much as a pause in its circling the tree.

Conar could at least see that Slim found a good branch to stay on, gazing with wide eyes at the monster. His hand uncertainly held another thick branch, until it started to bend and snap, hanging on by just a thread. His grip then shifted to the tree itself.

“Oh, what the hell,” Conar muttered, crawling closer to the beast. “I’m right here! A nice, tasty distraction for ya! Hello?”

It was slow shuffling, but he made it within smelling distance of the worm. It smelled like the mud and bog around, but somehow wetter.

Still, the worm paid him no mind, continuing to tilt its head toward Slim and roar while encircling the tree. It wasn’t climbing up, though, instead occasionally diving into the earth once more. Both Conar and Slim could hear the sound of something cracking whenever it did.

Oh, shit…

Slim frantically inched his way up his branch, eyes darting and looking for a way out. There! Another tree! The branches weren’t as thick, but if he could just reach the trunk…

He wobbled a bit, standing precariously for his all-or-nothing leap. He let out a yell, leaping with his limbs splayed out, eyes closed to brace for what came…

Thump!

His arms and legs had wrapped around the trunk, and he slowly slipped down onto a knot. He risked opening his eyes, and he was alive! He couldn’t take the time to celebrate, though, for he could still hear Conar cursing as the rumbling and roaring continued below….

Conar had continued to throw what he could at the worm, with no response. Hitting it with a branch yielded nothing. Finding a sharp rock and getting a good cut across its body brought much of the same.

“What the hell is your problem?!” Conar demanded.

He was starting to take it personally at this point. Even Slogs knew when to move on from a meal that got away. And those green Ratz eyes he could see from the foliage weren’t helping any, either.

Well, at the very least, it gave him time to take a particularly nasty-looking piece of root and grab onto a plate of the worm’s back armor. He grit his teeth, instinctively shutting his eyes as dirt flung onto his visor. He barely had time to adjust his facial tentacles before he was pulled underground.

He gave his all to keep hold on the beast, not wanting an early burial, however better that would be than becoming Slig Soup. When he emerged, gasping for air, he looked ahead. The worm was still on the surface, so he had some time before he went under again.

He took the root and jammed it under the plating He rammed it as far as he could, and judging by that screechy roar and the worm turning towards him, he had finally gotten the thing’s attention.

“’Bout time… oh.”

Well, as Wiren once said, “When you’re cleanin’ the Recycler, might as well kick the blades”. That guy never was one for metaphor, but he had a point there.

Conar shouted in response to the thing’s roar, pushing down on the root. The plating started to crack as it lifted upwards, and the worm screeched like nothing else. It finally lunged towards Conar, who couldn’t leap aside so much as slide off it. The worm succeeded in scooping itself a few inches off the ground, hideously long teeth piercing its own flesh, even protruding and visibly lifting more of its back plating.

He had to laugh as the roars and cries were drowned out by the creature’s own death rattle as it slumped over. The chuckles faded, however, as the discomfort of the thing continuing to writhe and hiss started to get to him, and he had to crawl back to make sure stray thrashes didn’t hit him.

Still, he was quick to put a face of cocksure bravado back on before Slim could think he had gone soft.

“C’mon,” he called up. “My stuff ain’t gonna get itself.”

“B-but I still don’t know which way we went!”

“Well, figure it out before something like that comes around again!”

Slim’s eyes narrowed for the first time as his head turned, seeming to want to look anywhere other than at the worm corpse or Conar. His hands instinctively pawed against the mossy trunk, and he started to clamber up to a higher branch.

“Where’re you going?” Conar demanded. “Get back down before I…”

He trailed off. What could he do without Pants or a gun?

“…Just get down here, will ya?”

But Slim didn’t respond, and Conar couldn’t do anything about it. Guess he’d have to figure this out on his own, or try to climb up with two arms and a tail. Neither one was looking too appealing, but sitting around until he was something else’s lunch was even less so. He turned to leave; maybe if he found a body of water he could safely regroup and rethink his plan.

“Where you goin’?” Slim called out. “That’s not where that lake was!”

Conar stopped. If he didn’t have to support himself with both arms, he’d slap his head.

Why didn’t I think of that?

As it was, he turned back around to watch Slim slide down, deftly getting the occasional grip on a branch to slow his descent. Conar started, jaw agape as he saw how deftly Slim put his feet on any knot, branch, or lose piece of bark without stumbling once. He once again found himself wishing he didn’t have to rely on Pants, but at least he now knew he could use water as well.

“So,” he asked, watching Slim land on the ground with little more than a grunt, “where to?”

Slim took the cue and reached to pick Conar up, but stopped when the Slig briefly raised a hand.

“Actually, we need a weapon. Maybe two, so you can fight somethin’ bigger than a Stunk.”

“Y-yeah…” Slim nodded, looking at the corpse of the worm. “Damn, you really took that thing out, huh?”

Now that they weren’t getting chased by it, the two of them could appreciate just how huge the monster was. It dwarfed even that famed “Mondo Mama” Slog they once kept in the old Hut, and Conar was pretty sure that even the bits that were protruding from the ground were about as long as the Scrab was tall. The width betrayed the beast’s raw strength, if the thick back armor and long, sharp teeth didn’t grab your attention first.

There’s an idea…

Conar crawled up to his kill, eyeing the teeth and plating. Carefully using his tentacles for balance, he reached out, wrapping his fingers around one of the teeth that wasn’t embedded in the creature’s body. Unsurprisingly, it hung on to its gum for dear life as he tried to wriggle it out. Pulling, twisting, or trying to shimmy did nothing except give him slimy hands and a strange look from Slim.

“Look, we need somethin’ to protect ourselves if another one a’ these guys shows up! Now shut up and give me a hand!”

“I didn’t say anything,” Slim muttered, crouching down.

The two of them, with some grunting, managed to pull a nasty and huge tooth out, along with a lot of tissue that made Slim gag as he handed it to Conar.

“Thanks, wuss,” Conar muttered, taking the tooth and using it to pry the other ones out

 He soon had a set of loose black gums with massive yellow teeth sticking out of them. He nodded approvingly, wiping the gore off that tooth before using it to carve the other ones out. He tossed a particularly long one to Slim.

“Here, see if you can get that back armor off of him.”

It only took maybe fifteen minutes, but to Slim, it was an hour of agony. Not only was this truly morbid, but he had no idea whether something else would be coming while they worked. Nothing ever did, but distant whistles, caws, and screeches nearly made him jump out of his own skin. But, eventually, the two of them had a bunch of cleaned teeth, a set of massive scales, and the gruesome remains of a worm.

Slim looked at the scales in his hands, tapping them together with an oddly satisfying clink! Surprisingly, they weren’t that heavy, and the only signs of damage were miniscule. All he would need is something to take care of holding it up for him. Thankfully, he was surrounded by trees, some of which had leafy vines, with naught but the occasional Rat crawling along them. It’d be easy enough to scramble up and grab some of them, but if they were so easy to pluck, what would they be worth? No, he’d want something he’d have to cut, at least.

With this in mind, he set his future armor down and snatched a tooth from Conar. For his part, Conar was about to protest, but stopped, instead watching him with interest.

It didn’t take long to get enough good, strong vine for his armor, and he had to thank Odd he got practice tying old Slog leashes together – the same leashes that kept him alive this long.

Soon, he had fashioned at least some protection on his chest, stomach, back and shoulders. As for the teeth, he looked at Conar, and soon fashioned impromptu claws for him.

Conar grunted, but Slim caught him admiring his new weapons and taking a few test swipes with them.

The remaining were tied to a branch, making for a decent spear. It wasn’t much, but it would hopefully be enough.

“Ready to kick booty!” Conar exclaimed, causing Slim to turn just in time to see a tree buckle, half its roots and trunk having been shredded. He jumped back as it fell, scaring a nest of Bolamites away as its crash echoed into the distance.

Seeing this, and Conar’s proud smile, Slim couldn’t help but agree.

No longer did the two blunder through branches with no direction. Now, Conar carved the path ahead with reckless abandon, while Slim walked the two in the right direction. While Slim was trying to be as quiet and unassuming as possible, Conar was whooping and hollering as he tore through branches, hardly caring about any nests he happened to disrupt. The critters scattering only seemed to encourage him.

Slim was about to say something about it, but remembered that this was a Slig with deadly weapons. Protesting was not a good idea when they were having a good time. Instead, he found himself ducking and trying to at least soften the sound of falling branches by catching them. This was met with limited success, but it was better than letting the two just thrash through and make even more noise.

Somehow, no one was approaching them as they made it closer to that lake. In fact, Conar only increased in volume as he saw some large birds flying away once they were in earshot, and Chippunks covering their ears. He almost forgot that he was being carried by someone else, and he was feeling so much power. Even at work, he wasn’t allowed to tear the place up and scare the Slogs or Muds willy-nilly; there were policies against everything he wanted to do growing up.

Policies that no fellow Slig seemed to care about, of course.

Before he knew it, there was nothing left for him to slash; they had made it to the clearing where they first landed. There were still some crates floating in the lake. Some had been broken, either by the impact or by what was contained, and the whole lake reeked.

Neither of them tried to think about that, instead looking over the messy corpses of Sligs and animals alike, trying to find anything resembling supplies. There wasn’t much to find; whatever wasn’t broken had probably sunk into the water too long ago to check for them.

“There!” Conar pointed, making Slim wince with the claws racing past his head. “There’s our bag!”

The duo hurried over to the mud-soaked pillowcase which, beyond all probability, still had things in it. Slim bent down to pick it up, only to have Conar crawl over his shoulder and land on the muck. Conar cringed, but immediately wiped mud off his tentacles and used them to grab the bag.

Then he heard growling from inside. Dammit! Something was in their bag, and probably eating his stuff! He quickly let go of his bag, making a quick shushing motion to Slim. Hopefully, this fight would be quicker and less grisly than the last one he was on. He slinked over to the side, looking for the right place to strike. He rose an arm above the lumpiest spot, fist pointed downward for quick stabs with his claws…

And was swiftly lifted by Slim.

“Hey!” he cried, feebly flailing with his free arm. “Lemme go!”

“It’s not worth it,” Slim said. “Probably already got the food anyway.”

“Food nothing,” Conar grumbled. “I was just going for my Moolah and smokes.”

Slim looked at him incredulously.

“Look around!” he said, stepping back to put some distance between himself and those claws. “Do you see any Vendos, or shops, or anything other than snarling death?”

“Hey!” Conar snapped back, “I’m trying to think about the long term here! Once we get back to a Magog city, that Moolah’ll come in handy!”

Seeing that Conar wasn’t lunging or even approaching him, Slim decided he could push his luck with: “And the Lungbusters?”

Conar shrunk back a little. If he wasn’t a Slig still glaring at Slim with a cold red visor, Slim would have fount the sight almost pitiable.

“I’ve… never been out in the wild before, all right? I need somethin’ for my nerves.”

He took a moment to breath, and shook his head.

“I always wanted to be a RuptureFarms hunter,” he continued, slowly, “and it looks like part of my dream’ll be coming true! It’s… it’s exciting, that’s what it is!”

Slim rolled his eyes, but stopped himself. There, in the brush a ways behind Conar, he saw several pairs of glowing green eyes. The eyes stayed focused on Conar, the Ratz’ heads tilting occasionally. As they did so, the light from their eyes faintly illuminated something beneath them, as if they were pointing to it. 

“You wanna hunt?” Slim asked, pointing to the same spot. “You might want a gun then!”

Conar looked towards the foliage, slowly creeping that way. He avoided the low barks and chirps from what used to be his bag, but it was otherwise a straight line. No other creatures could be seen, though Conar still made a point of stabbing the muddy ground with each step of his hands. It took a yard or two, but he finally spotted the gun.

Just in time for the Ratz to wrap their tails around it and hop into the woods.

“What the?!”

He scrambled forward as quickly as he could, which was still agonizingly slow. Still, he could see their eyes in the dark, and they hadn’t become any less visible. In fact, Conar could swear they weren’t moving much at all.

Fine by him.

 He had finally made it to the bushes, and carved his way through. Some more critters scattered as he found himself on a drier patch of dirt, with tall yellow grass encircling it. He could see the green eyes glow from a knothole in the tree. Not only were they still there, but they wouldn’t be able to escape. That blunderbuss would be his!

Of course, there would be the matter of climbing up there to get the damn thing.

He twisted around, hand up, as he heard a rustle behind him. Thankfully, it was just Slim, spear in hand. His eyes were focused on the area surrounding, his eyes not even on the prize.

“This doesn’t feel right.”

“I know,” Conar nodded, relaxing again, “but it’ll be right when I got some firepower!”

[wickdcreatures]

          This has all the tells of a dream — the soft, movie quality light, the surreal landscape beyond his windshield. He must have fallen asleep in the driver's seat — he has parked somewhere pretty overlooking the sparse woods after a particularly draining shift, and his guess is he fell asleep shortly after. That’s all that would make sense. 

He’s startled back to his senses as his glove box closes, his brother sitting in the passenger seat. Moppy brown hair, bigger brown eyes, wearing one of his oversized hoodies to stay warm in the crisp Utah air. He had grabbed one of the toys Salem keeps as offerings out of the depths of the glovebox, registration papers and napkins pinched in the closure mechanism. 

          “ You like that one, bud? ”     Salem smiles, one hand reaching over to correct the paper situation, the other on the steering wheel to keep him from toppling over onto his brother,     “ One of these days I’m gonna take you to the thrift store here in town — they have a bunch of super cool toys, actually. Lots of things we used to see on the TV. ”

Derrick only nods, moving the squeaking plastic arms on the toy pirate. He seems sullen — sad. Salem chews on the inside of his lip, his lashes fluttering for a moment before his eyes once again rest on the trees. 

          “ It’s really different here, I know. Maybe someday we will be able to move back to California, but right now — right now we gotta stay away... Our Aunts and our Uncles are being really mean right now, they don't want us to be happy — well — I mean ... you already know that, but, ”     the spot Salem worries with his teeth begins to bleed, but he doesn’t even notice,     “ You like your new friend, right? Our friend, Birdy? She’s really nice, right? ”

          “ Yeah, she is. ”     That voice. That’s not Derrick’s voice.

Salem’s head swivels fast. His eyes are wide, his heart hammers in his chest. The boy that sits in Derrick’s place is smaller, more slender — a red head in a striped shirt. A smattering of freckles. Salem doesn’t understand but something about him feels… familiar. 

          “ I like you, too. You’re nice. None of the others have given me toys before. They are usually too scared. ”     His voice is distant, as if spoken through a door. 

Salem swallows hard, settling himself down more comfortably in his seat as he looks over the boy more. Hazel eyes. Bandaged knees. A play handhook still gripped in one of his hands. 

          “ You mean, at the pizzeria? ”     Salem’s voice says, but his lips don’t move. Or do they? He isn’t sure. 

          “ The others are afraid. They don’t trust you yet. Jeremy’ll ‘prolly never trust you. Don’t take it personally. ”     the joints of the doll squeak like the hinges on a door, or the knee joints on an animatronic. It’s a Foxy toy,     “ I won’t hurt you. I promise. I won’t hurt you or… Birdy. That’s not her name, you know. ”

          “ I know. ”

          “ Will you keep bringing me toys? ”     The boy looks up. There is something wrong with his eyes. They are clouded, unfocused. Salem’s stomach lurches — the car smells like rot. 

          “ If that’s what you want, absolutely. ”

The windows of the car fog with the heat of their breath, but it’s so very cold. Salem tries to pull his jacket closer around him but he can’t move. Something is locking him in place. 

          “ I won’t hurt you but I won’t be able to help you. ”

Salem looks from side to side, his eyes the only thing he can move. It’s so cold all of a sudden, but his hands sweat. His chest feels tight. He looks into the rearview mirror to catch a glimpse of himself as the boy reaches over, putting a hand on his thigh. A mechanical hand that’s lost all of its red felt but the pieces that still stick in the socket joints. Salem’s eyes peek out from the mouth of a Foxy mask, one with steel bars and cables that criss-cross this way and that around his head. He opens his mouth to scream.

Crack crack crack 

Salem lurches forward gripping the steering wheel. Crack crack crack goes the knuckles of whoever found him on the window beside him. He looks over, panicked, heart racing. It’s Jailbird, her brow knit together, peering down at him. 

The pirate toy sits on the passenger seat.

[marveladewithice-blog]

(bro im just gonna copy and paste whatever i wrote like three months ago here and not proofread it soooo yeah thats for context)

havent drawn these two in a hot minute, so here they areeee for those who want to know but dont, these are my dudes i created a while back named craig and josh (craig on the left, josh the right). i made this whole story where josh worked as an assistant at a news place or sumth like that and he wanted to become an actual writer (cause it was his dream since middle school) but he was stuck at the assistant role and this frustrated him greatly but anyways one day his siblings are like "hey dude lets go camping to get your mind off your failing career" and he's like "rude way to put it but whatever" but get this okay he doesn't even want to go camping with his family, he just wants to run off and try to find a big story somewhere in the woods to pitch and hopefully be promoted because of it (which prolly isn't accurate to how that actually works, I'd have to do actual research but thats kind of the gist of it). anyways he runs off claiming to be "looking for firewood" which was a lie, cause his only intentions were to find some funky fresh information on some hot gossip (he would word it differently, but same thing) and eventually he gives up, realizing that this whole idea was kind of stupid like what was he going to find alone in the middle of the woods late at night with no one else by his side so he was alone and vunerable? he was a smart man, clearly. okay but as he gets ready to head back to camp he follows a yellow glow assuming its their fire they had set up, but once he gets there he is shocked not to find a fire, but instead a levitating young man staring at a tree as if it were the most interesting thing on earth. josh audibly gasps, causing the ghostly boy to shift his head to give him a quick glance, then returning his gaze back at the tree as if he saw nothing and no one there. then josh speak to him, which peaks the ghosts interest once more, though this time he looks a lot more suprised. he fully turns to josh, eyes wide, and utters, "you can see me?" so then josh and craig are talking and josh is trying to comprehend that there is an actual ghost just in front of him and craig is freaking out with excitment that someone can finally see him and can hear and talk to him. eventually josh gets craig to chill out and asks him what his deal is and why he is a ghost and just so hyped about josh being able to communicate with him. craig explains his backstory, how he had died so long ago (dont know when yet, i'll figure it out soon tho) but his soul never was able to escape the earth, so he was stuck there with no way out. now he just kind of roams around the planet, seeing history play out in front of him and looking for any kind of entertainment to remain somewhat mentally sane. josh is now seeing the potential of craig's existance for helping him get that sweet buttery promotion he's dreamed of for so long. if he tells people about craig and has craig feed him information about the world and history itself that are otherwise unknown, he'll surley manage to gain the attention of many, kickstarting his future career as a writer and possible reporter. only problem is that josh is the only person who can see craig and the chances of anyone else actually believeing in his existance are incredibly slim, almost zero. hopeless, josh is like "sorry craig, u might actually be useless to me" and craig is like "):" and then josh like kicks a leaf or something and then craig is like "wait a minute if you can see me then maybe you can help me and then i can help you and we can make a sort of deal you know what i mean you know what i mean" and josh is like "???" and craig is like "if you can bring me back to the grounded world, or back to life or sumth, then people will be able to see me and believe me and my story rrriiiiggghhhttt???? idk bout you but that could make a greeeaaaaattt story" and josh is like "where are you even going with this" and craig is like "all you have to do is bring me back to life, and you'll get ur promotion and i'll get my life : D it's literally the perfect plan" now at first josh is like "yeah no thats not going to happen, literally impossible, i failed all my science classes i will not be able to bring you back" but as he's thinkin more about it he realizes that he really has no other choice, cause like he can't just leave the ghost here, he has to do something with it. so hesitantly, he agrees to the deal on the condition that craig doesn't get his hopes up too much for theres no certainty of josh successfully bringing him back. and so they have a deal set where josh will do everything in his power to somehow bring craig back to life, and in exchange craig will offer him his stories, his wisdom, and all he knows to get josh the scoop he needs to make it big. thats kind of the whole start of the story, and from there i have some ideas of where it goes, but otherwise its mostly just a work in progress. i have some ideas for how it may conclude, but its still verrry rough, though id love to write it all someday soon. buuuutu yeah thats all for todays probablys. have a lovely lovely day friends <33

[victimized-martyr]

1, 3, 8, 15, 26

1. where do you fall on the kyman scale? mountain, tie, or pine?

uhhh I’m assuming this is fandom-jargon for top/bottom?? or who’s taller?? more dominant ?? actually lol I still have no idea what these mean sorry, I’m a baby in this fandom. sorry i can’t answer this, idk 😭

3. where/when/why/how do they get together?

lol thats a whole ass fic just begging to be written. My opinion will probably change, and these two are so unpredictable fr so WHO KNOWS how they’ll end up together, if they ever do. Will be an absolute miracle fr. But here’s my attempt:

Where- somewhere private, just them two. Could be either of their rooms, stark’s pond, the woods, hell maybe @ a U-store it.

When- the EARLIEST I can see them get together, is their last years of high school. Otherwise, sometime after college. Not during college… I think the boys’ career paths will divulge and all 4 of them won’t be able to hang as often. They adjust from the definition of friendship from childhood to adulthood lol. So, it makes the most sense to me they get together as adults. I’m talkin, they’re in their early thirties.

why-follow up to above^ Kyle and Cartman are doing… fine in their lives. Bills are being paid, they each have a job, but Kyle stays in south park because firstly, growing up with the debt of the entire city fucks up Kyle’s credit, and also he stays out of obligation to his family (and hey! he doesn’t have to worry about buying a house), and on a deeper level… he doesn’t know what to do with himself. with the boys out of south park, he’s never learned how to live outside those relationships. What are his hobbies? Who is he? What does he want? Cartman, meanwhile, is a wild card. He could be in another country, maybe he’s working in denver as a freelance photographer, maybe he went to los ángeles to do something with his talent, maybe he got stuck in South Park too, taking care of Liane and feeling trapped because she doesn’t have anyone else in south park and damnit Cartman’s a moma’s boy through and through. No matter what Cartman does though, he feels hollow.

Kyle and Cartman learn from their time apart that outside of their fights, they value each other’s company. There’s a mutual intensity, a fierce competitiveness that stimulates their brains, a deep bond that they can’t shake off. They’ve been obsessed with each other since they were in diapers…. they don’t have a choice in staying together in SOME proximity to function. It’s vital to their survival.

how- it’s NOT over a peaceful dinner or a lazy day of hangin with the bros that’s for sure lol. It’s south park. They can’t get a moment’s peace and nothing will ever be mundane. I imagine that it takes a large scale event, laden with toilet jokes or a matter of politics, or some wacky hijinks, where they nearly lose each other.

Kyle has a realization he agonizes over for days on end “holy shit I need this motherfucker in my life like goddamn oxygen, no way, no fucking way, HIM???”

with Cartman, things just kinda click. It’s painful acceptance of what’s been there probably since the beginning. It’s a lot to handle. Prolly to the point he actually develops a fever over it and whines like a diva. “Oh.. all those sexual fantasies of Kyle make so much sense… I’m never going after anyone else that’s not Kyle. Kyle Kyle Kyle!!! Oh god, I want Kyle! It’s always been Kyle!”

8. who is the breadmaker? (follow-up question, who’s the stay-home dad?)

hm… their futures are very muddy to me rn. To paraphrase Kyle in Mexican Joker, the decisions the characters make *right now* affect the future…Post Covid and Future Me’s endings support this idea, that the slightest decision can like, alter an entire career path and character development.

With the direction Matt and Trey are taking Cartman and Kyle as of Streaming Wars, Kyle would definitely be the bread maker. not that Cartman’s lazy (he is, but Kyle would NOT let him be), but because his ambitions change from day to day. As a result his career path will likely not be as conventional (so in Kyle eyes, unstable lol). Cartman, as he’s acting right now, would be absolutely content as a stay at home dad. He’d get to tap into that hedonism left over from childhood “I hardly have to lift a finger! If I want the newest X-box, my hubby Kahl will get it for me 💞”

no matter what role Cartman will take though, he WILL want to be in a position of authority. Be it a Ceo, or director, head detective..even as a stay at home dad, he WILL fight the Becky’s and Karen’s to be THE director of HOA in his town. He WILL be obnoxious about it too and probably integrate aspects of that job into his personality like he did being a rabbi in PC jfjfkgk (seriously who on earth screams about their love of abraham while having sex. Fuckin Werido. He might’ve changed for the better but Cartman definitely let it go to his head hhfhfh he integrates his interests into every aspect of himself, even foreplay. like goddamn Mattrey u made a freak fr)

15. headcanon heights and body types?

basically what we have in canon!

Kyle is the tallest (6’2) and the skinniest, no matter how much he eats. his jersey side keeps him from ever appearing lanky. I imagine he’s got very nice toned legs.

I do believe on some level Cartman IS big boned, so no matter what he might do to lose weight, he’ll always appear “big”. But of course, Cartman is nothing without his blubber, so he’s fat forever in my eyes. I think Cartman’s got a pear shaped body where a lot of his fat just goes to his mid section and ass (indeed, there is truth in his moniker), but was graced with the cherubic looks of his mom, so as he grows up, not a lot of fat goes to his chin. In fact, he’s got a well defined face. Any trace of chub is stored in is his cheeks. He’s a short lil guy (5’6)

26. why do you ship kyman?

Oh god… this is such a loaded question 😭 where do I begin?

in part, I truly can’t see them with anyone else. Does that make sense? Like, heiman arc and Cartman Finds Love showed us that Cartman and Kyle will sabotage each other’s romantic relationships and make it about each other. The gf becomes white noise, or worse, a prop in their fight. I pity any woman that dares come between them.

I also ship them because they have such an electric, rich and iconic dynamic. It’s one of the pillars of the show. There’s literally never a dull moment with them, all their interactions, be it simply playing a game and smiling at each other, teasing each other on the playground, running washington redskins, playing airsoft as a broship, is such a delight to watch.

As I said in the Why section of the ask, they complete each other in ways they might never come to terms with, but is super obvious to the audience nonetheless. They stimulate each other, there’s no one else that can bring out like, every single human emotion as intensely as kyle and cartman do with each other.

also, I ship kyman bc canon dumptrucked all this cosmic shit. They saved each other’s lives unknowingly, they’re the only ones in town to share the same fuckin blood type and kidney, like broh this shit is writing itself I’m just here for the ride.

[felikatze]

How did Saffron meet the gf?

OHH ANON. ILY. OC TIME. it's very unlikely i'll ever actually write the whole stories out but ocs are a fun thing to think about

First of all, who is Saffron? Saffron is a lizard. She is a shapeshifter technically so she could be whatever but sometime in life she decided she wanted to be a lizard, so she is.

here's a super old 2018-ish picture of her and the gf, Riley. Riley is actually the One Oc To Start Them All, meaning i made Riley first because of a Kirby Theme Week back when I used Amino (don't use amino it's bad).

These two mfers are the protags of one of the main stories of my Oc Cinematic Universe, Starlight Wishes (the other being Devil's Double staring Jay and Eni, because I like coming up with snappy names)

So. Backstory. One day, Jay, Saffron's brother, was walking through the woods (as you do) stepped on a live unexploded landmine (as you do when you are European, except this is Modern with Magic Europe, so it's not Europe).

this is because Jay started as an isekai self insert, which he still kinda is, and i decided life unexploded landmine was the funniest way to die

After the whole explosion thing, Jay met god. God is One of Two Gods, and she is a spider. I've currently forgotten her name but i have it written in a world file somewhere. Her name starts with T.

God is divorced, and her ex, Rinthera, is the death to her life. He's the god of death. Their divorce was messy. She found out some idiots are trying to resurrect her ex (read as: wake him from his post tantrum nap), and she really doesnt want to deal with this. Thus, she makes a deal with Jay: get back to life, and in return, prevent the ritual that'll call Rinthera to the physical plane of existence.

Except, when she drops Jay back down to earth, she makes a critical mistake: not accounting for the fact he was blown sky high and she snatched him right out the air. He falls. He hits his head. You can imagine what happens because this is fantasy tropes land: he loses his memory, and thus also his memory of the deal he made with god.

(this is the inciting incident for devil's double, which i will cease talking about)

result of losing your memory: you go MIA. Saffron gets annoyed. Then, she gets worried. Then, she sets out to search for him.

She's not very successful. She travels with a big sword because I think big swords are cool. So she ends up becoming like, a lizard swordswoman bounty hunter type shit. She WILL do your sidequests for you, that kind of deal.

One day, while she is out doing stuff, she hears tale of a dragon ravaging the fields of some farmer. She gets there, only to find out that the dragon is,,,,, a big doll. A really big life sized stuffed dragon doll that can also spit fire.

Said dragon is terrorizing a certified Maiden In Distress: long flowing hair, pretty petite dress, that type of deal. Saffron, being Saffron, defeats the doll dragon with her superior reptilian might, and approaches the girl. The girl, as it turns out, did not need rescuing, because she is a ghost, and thus, already dead.

As you might guess, this ghost is Riley, the deuteragonist / love interest of Starlight Wishes, the story I came up with when I was fixating on Kirby.

Riley says that there's basically just a whole outbreak of doll monsters, and she wants Saffron's help to stop them, since Riley has no physical form of her own. However, Riley can provide backup by possessing the dolls Saffron defeats!

Thus, we get to the entire plot of that particular story, in which the various ups and downs of hunting dolls together.

The two of 'em are pretty friendly with each other initially, buuuuut. Riley's not entirely honest. Such as the reason why she's a ghost to begin with, and what her unfinished business entails besides the whole doll deal.

I dunno if I wanna say it because it's like, the big plottwist of the whole thing, but I'm also prolly never gonna write it all so. Riley was killed by a knight because she was an "evil" wizard who just kept creating a fuckton of dolls that ended up going out of her control bcuz she was lonely :( why'd you kill her camilla. wait i know why, because you don't give a shit. c'mon camilla.

I genuienly can't get into the clusterfuck of a love confession for these two without explaining literally everything because it takes places at the story climax and it is very dramatic, involves a dragon besides the doll one, death lazers, screaming, the mortifying ideal of being loved, and kirby bossfight aesthetics, because i used to think of it more like a kirby fangame than a story, ykno.

After that whole world destruction deal is resolved and both of them get mental stability they realize they do love each other a lot and get together after Riley pulls shenanigans on a minor deity to get her body back. Hooray for necromancy! Shouldn't have abandoned your pet dragon if you didn't want that to happen, should you, god?!

Does Saffron actually end up finding Jay at some point? Yeah, when she goes home after a long day of doing sidequests with her gf and she turns on the TV to breaking news.

Love wins <3

[anonymousgeekhere]

Idk why I'm getting bing brain ideas before sleepin but I'm not done w Kuro yet <3

More specifically, I can kinda see where our dilf and twink here would interact

The setting ain't really much of a problem, a forest Is a good way to go tbh, considering how Apollo travels round and Kuro having some specific tasks to do there. Aight w/o adding further details, i just kinda thought that instead of dad Pol making noises, our resident spider would kinda sense him, just fastly turning around, pointing his arm at him. (Something that idk If I mentioned before Is that his arms are like spears, in the sense that they don't have a proper hand so, it's kinda blade likewhrhsj it's too late for explainin at this hour n it's only 1:19 am💀) I feel like she'd be kind of hesitant but even then demanding explenations, not trusting him so easly instead of what he did w someone like Moor. In fact, It'll prolly take some longer time to safely bond tbh, even if they have similar interests.

Kuro will try to push him away, but haha funny father figure they never had touches him and she just, keeps Apollo in their company. And just like that, lil talks and ohhh fuck this Is gettin somewhere

AAAAAAH BESTIE YASSSSSS

Apollo would be roaming the woods, thinking about his childhood then gets FUCKING BLADE HANDS POINTED AT HIM and he’s like “oh that’s cool” and ofc Apollo being Apollo somehow get Kuro’s traumas out and adopts him

[dastardlydandelion]

Just curious but what examples other than eye drops? 👀

oh gosh, maybe literally anything? i just. oof. she did not think that one thru.

okay, so in the movie tommy says he gets bug spray from her. there u go, nurse lane, that's ur in. approach him smiling under the guise of offering the insect repellent, then spray it right into his eyes/mouth, and then stab. also, like. do this when it's just the two of u!!

or set a trap. drop a dollar bill on the ground. wait for tommy to bend down to pick it up. stab from behind! or ykw, ditch the kitchen knife, grab that double bit axe that's evidently at ur disposal. longer handle means better leverage, that would benefit her on multiple accounts. and them things cut deep. since they're at a camp site, there's prolly a splitting maul around there too. splitting maul would also be a good option.

nurse lane could poison him with yew instead of drugs or eye drops, if she was worried abt her supply being searched by authorities. they're in the forest in ohio. there are yew trees. large enough quantity, there's enough toxicity to kill a human being. p sure the only part of a yew that isn't toxic is the aril.

there's prolly a shotgun around the camp too somewhere. yk, for the bears. they're in the woods. there's bears in the woods. ooh, bear spray? bear spray in the face if all the bug spray is taken?? flare gun. campers do boating, u got a flare gun somewhere, not the most practical thing either but imho still beats out blatantly telegraphing her murderous intent to a larger individual with a close-range weapon of choice and another person standing right there!!!