#he's like joan of arc 2 me
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"you're behind a barrier, dickhead" ↳ Liam Gallagher at Knebworth, 1996
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Do you know much of the history of the town you live near? I noticed some very old-looking stone buildings in your photos from the cow parade - does much of the town look like that or were those heritage buildings?
Unfortunately almost every town has some Ugly Modern Houses, but they're usually in the outskirts, while the centre is quite preserved. It's mostly ~200yo houses though, with the occasional very old house (like, 17th century). The towns that used to have a castle often still have a mediaeval layout, with a cluster of houses and narrow streets; sometimes (remains of) ramparts. And every village worthy of the name has the mandatory mediaeval church in the plaza (except mine which has a modern Victorian Gothic church that's like 150yo, but we have the ruins of a mediaeval monastery to make up for it)
One little local history fact I know is that this town that had the cow parade was named after a Central Asian tribe that invaded the region ~1,600 years ago and later helped fight off Attila when the Huns were invading! The cows don't know that. I love knowing where place names come from (unless they mean stuff like "by the river" which is boring.) I went to visit a Gallo-Roman site recently and there was a sign displaying some text by Julius Caesar in which he listed all the Celtic tribes he defeated here, and I thought it was so cool that some of these names are still familiar because they are preserved in place names. The Roman invasion days, two millennia ago, already feel quite faraway but by then the Celts had already lived here for centuries—I wish the specific Gallic tribe that started farming around here in the Iron Age could know that 2,500 years later people are still farming in this place that's still named after their tribe.
Your question made me realise that what I associate with "appreciating local history" is like, going to see the ruins of some 2nd century Roman thermal baths or temples or learning that a town was named after a guy who owned the place in 847 AD, and I don't pay enough attention to the 16th century houses near my dentist's office or the 12th century church in front of the vet clinic. I should appreciate these time periods more! I do love the look of mediaeval towns with their tiny tortuous streets that make life difficult for people who drive stupidly big cars. And I love mediaeval castles, though I've only visited 2 of the 150-or-so castles (not counting the ruins) this region boasts (I use 'boasts' ironically, there's another region nicknamed "the 1001 castles" so our score is pitiful.) (They don't actually have 1001 castles, they're lying, it's like 600, plus some glorified manor houses that don't count)
Last-minute addition: I drafted this reply last weekend and today I saw some ruins in a town where I went to have my spring water analysed, and decided to pop by the town hall to learn more. I learnt that the ruins are what remains of the town's castle, which "successfully resisted many English attacks" (that's what they always say) and was then offered by the King to a courtier in the 1450s, and the courtier hated it because it was 400 years-old and cold and draughty and falling apart so he never lived here. The town hall lady was so unimpressed by her town's attractions it was funny—I imagine if I'd been a tourist she would have tried to sell it to me more but knowing I live nearby she was like, well our town has a 13th century church like everyone else and here's our "castle" that's a ruin now and that was already a ruin in Joan of Arc times. To add some fun fact about their castle she said that a Valois Queen had slept there for a few nights at some point and I said eagerly "Queen Margot?" and the woman said "... no it was in the 1300s. Queen Margot went to [better castle farther North]", in such a humble tone that I felt bad for accidentally pointing out that unlike [Rival Town] they got one of those obscure Valois queens no one cares about.
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Alexis Ness’ trivia (src: EGOIST BIBLE 2)
☆ Character's color: Magical Purple.
☆ Weapon : Illusion Cross.
☆ Birthday: 16th March.
☆ Current age: 18 (at the start of NEL).
☆ Zodiac: Pisces.
☆ Nickname: "The Magician"
☆ Birthplace: Hamburg, Germany.
☆ Family: Father. Mother. Older brother. Older Sister. Himself.
☆ Current height: 181 cm.
☆ Foot size: 28 cm.
☆ Dominant foot: Right.
☆ Blood type: AB.
☆ Visual acuity: 1.0
☆ Grip strength: 53 kg.
☆ Motto: "Magic resides in those who believe."
☆ Team: Bastard München.
☆ Starts playing football: At age 8. "First time I saw it in a stadium. I will never forget that football magic."
☆ Hobby: Discovering magic. "The world is filled with all kinds of magic!"
☆ Favorite food: Sachertorte. "The combo with whipped cream and coffee is the best!"
☆ Dislike/hated food: Herring pie. "My mom isn’t a great cook, and this one is especially terrible."
☆ What goes best with rice: "Cheese curry, maybe. "
☆ Favorite animal: Flying squirrel. "It's cute and can fly—how fantastical!"
☆ Favorite season: Winter. "A clear winter sky makes feel like I could fly."
☆ Favorite movie: The Notebook.
☆ Favorite music: "The Rose" by Bette Midler.
☆ Favorite football player: Michael Kaiser.
☆ Favorite subject: Ethics & P.E.
☆ Weak subject: Maths & Physics.
☆ Mushroom shoots vs Bamboo shoots: "Probably mushroom. They have cute shape!"
☆ Ideal type: "A strong person who can control their solitude."
☆ Fixation: Lonely expressions. "It makes me feel like I can understand their solitude."
☆ What would make him happy: "When others share in my excitement."
☆ What would make him upset: "The denial of magic I believed in."
☆ What he thinks his strength is: Valuing the invisible (feelings, wishes, thoughts).
☆ What he thinks his weakness is: Stubbornness. "Not bending on what I believe in (though I don’t really think of it as a weakness)."
☆ What made him cry recently: “I can’t remember. I cry often. My tear ducts are very sensitive... Hehe ♪”
☆ Usual sleeping hour: 6.5 hours.
☆ Number of chocolates received from previous Valentine: 10. "It seems they were delivered to my team! Thank you!"
☆ Place he washes first when taking a bath: His arms.
☆ What will he do if received 100 million yen: "I’d probably consult with Kaiser. I might say something like “I don’t need this crap,” though!"
☆ At what age he stops receiving presents from Santa: "I didn’t have that kind of thing at home. So I prepared my own stockings. Not that he ever came."
☆ What was his last wish from Santa: "Anything was fine. Anything at all."
☆ How he spent his holiday: "Training with Kaiser. Eating with Kaiser. Shopping with Kaiser. With Kaiser... etc."
☆ What will he do during his last day on Earth: "I hope for a miracle so that day won’t actually be the last."
☆ Favorite historical figure: Joan of Arc.
☆ If he hadn't encountered soccer, what will he be doing: "I wonder if I would still believe in magic."
☆ If he could only take one thing to a deserted island, what would it be: "Kaiser. Wait, is a human not allowed? Then I don’t need anything."
☆ If he had a time machine, would he go to the past or the future: The past. "I would hug my younger self, who believed in magic and cried alone, and tell them, “It’s okay to be just as you are.”"
note: i want to apologize in advance for any mistake made in the translation!
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05/13/2024
A suffocating childhood?!
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JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. The Source: This cartoon is based on a question St. Joan received during her trial. Before I explain it, here's the story from the original manuscript (translated by W. S. Scott): "Questioned concerning her father's dreams, she replied that when she was still with her father and mother, she was often told by her mother that her father had said that he dreamed his daughter Jeanne would go off with the soldiers; and that her mother and father took great care to keep her safely; that they were very strict with her; and that she was always obedient to them save in the incident at Toul, the action for [breach of promise of] marriage. She said further that she had heard her mother say that her father had said to her brothers: If I thought that such a thing could happen as I have dreamed, I should want you to drown her; and if you did not, I would drown her myself. And that she greatly feared that they would lose their minds when she left to go to Vaucouleurs. Asked if his thoughts and dreams had come to her father after she had her visions, she replied: Yes, more than two years after she first heard the voices." 2. Summary: In short, Joan's judges have heard that her father had prophetic dreams about her leaving home. She tells them what she knows based on what her mother told her, including that her father would prefer to have her drowned than let her go off with the army as he dreamed. 3. Location Change: For those wondering, after the 6th session of Joan's questioning, some of her assessors became too busy to consistently attend sessions, so Bishop Cauchon decreed they'd hold future sessions in her cell to make things easier. 4. The Name "Tart": First off, Jacques' last name was spelled a lot of different ways in old French (Darc, Dars, Dart, Darx, Tart, Day, and probably more). Joan didn't actually use his last name, because in her village, girls took their mother's last name, but we assign it to her nowadays anyway. In modern French, Jacques' surname is spelled d'Arc (the apostrophe is a late addition). However, when brought into English, translators assumed the d-[apostrophe] meant "of" like most names with that prefix, so Jeanne d'Arc became Joan of Arc, despite there not being a place called Arc for her to be of. In this cartoon, I used the spelling "Tart" for Jacques' surname, because W. S. Scott determined it to be the most authentic form of the patronymic, according to his sources. Also, it allowed me to make the joke in Panel 3, "I'm off to become a REAL tart!" Jacques is dreaming that Joan will run off to become a prostitute, and in addition to "Tart" being his surname, "tart" is also an old word for prostitute. 5. The Dream: Jacques shares a bit in common with St. Joseph, as both are hard-working men from simple towns, and both experience important dreams about their miracle children. However, while St. Joseph understands and responds to his dream with a generous yes, Jacques doesn't fully understand his dream and tries to prevent it from coming true. Back then, some women would follow armies around so they could prostitute themselves when the soldiers made camp. Many authors believe that Jacques' feared this would be Joan's fate, and that he never suspected that her true fate was to become a general of war. He told his sons he would prefer her to be drowned than for his dream to come true, probably meaning that he'd rather she die than lose her soul in the sinful life he thought he foresaw.
#catholic#christian#comic#cartoon#catholic memes#christian memes#tomics#tomics comics#tom gould#joan of arc#st joan of arc#jeanne darc#st jeanne darc#jacques darc#jacques tart#tart#drowning#trial#isabelle romee#isabeau romee#last names that are spelled a hundred different ways and even when theyre finally modernized are then butchered when brought into english
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Rating artistic depictions of Captain Moroni by how hot he is
Captain Moroni Raises the Title of Liberty, Arnold Friberg
A classic! Not bad looking, but there is a certain something about him that makes me want to know his whereabouts on January 6, 2021. 5/10
For the Blessings of Liberty, Scott M. Snow
Strangely enchanting, glaringly caucasian as he is. Somehow I am put in mind of sapphic lady knights like Joan of Arc and Cassandra Pentaghast and Chappel Roan. At the same time he looks like a regular from the Hallmark movie casting stables playing younger than his age. 6/10
Moroni and the Title of Liberty, Clark Kelley Price
Look at that bicep! Look at that tease of thigh! Look at that beard! But WHY does your armor look so Roman?? 7/10
Title of Liberty, Ken Corbett
Oh this guy was DEFINITELY at the capitol. 2/10
A Letter from Pahoran, Jerry Thompson
Another classic! ...Tell me I'm not the only one who sees "child of Dennis Quaid and DeForest Kelley." It's...it's odd. I don't know. The end result is Just Some Guy. 4/10
Come Forth, Walter Rane
You can't fool me! I know Matt Mercer when I see him! Not his best angle, though, especially with the strain from yelling. 6/10 (*Note: this score is not applicable to Matt Mercer himself.)
Captain Moroni and the Title of Liberty, Larry Winborg
The first time I saw this painting was a small, slightly off-colored paper cutout on a bulletin board at church, and I thought Moroni's face was much rounder and I was delighted at the prospect of a Moroni who looked a little chubby, known bear enjoyer that I am. Alas, I was wrong. But he's still quite handsome. 8/10
Young Captain Moroni, Lester Yocum
Oh, hello! An artist who remembered Moroni was in his twenties when he was appointed to his position! See that determination in those lovely dark eyes! Oh, and the curly hair! 8/10
Morianton's Maidservant and Captain Moroni, James H. Fullmer
First of all, we love a man who respects women. See that kindness in his expression. He is so strong, but being so gentle with his strength. Second of all: Daddy. He's got MUSCLE, and not in the bodybuilder way like some of these other paintings. Look at that nose just made for kissing, that hair just made for brushing strands out of his face, that beard just made for gently scratching your cheek. 10/10 PLEASE come sweep me off my feet and demand better of my government.
Send me more...Captain Moronis? Captains Moroni? Copies of Captain Moroni. And I'll rate them, too!
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Every Episode of Miraculous Ladybug Season 5 Ranked (Part 2)
Part 1
(This site's stupid 30 images per post forced me to do this, so thanks for nothing, Tumblr)
#14: Transmission
I swear, I'm not doing these on purpose. This is just how I've been ranking the episodes.
Like I said in the last part, this episode just did not need to happen. The first half is cheap melodrama between Marinette and Adrien and the second half is a run of the mill Akuma fight with two different heroes. This is the story that seriously warranted two parts this season?
I just can't stand the fact that Marinette and Adrien gave up their Miraculous so easily here. Maybe if it was Season 2, Season 3 at the latest, I'd buy it, but near the middle of Season 5? They honestly view their love lives as more important than the battle with Monarch. If it was anything else like the stress or physical danger, I'd also be understanding, but Tikki and Plagg decide that Marinette and Adrien are so miserable that they need to be happy by losing their Miraculous without a fight. Remember, this was just two episodes after “Reunion”, which showed Joan of Arc was a Miraculous holder. So fighting in the Hundred Years' War didn't get so much as an ounce of concern from Tikki, but teenage angst is too much for her little heart to bear?
Maybe it's the benefit of knowing this won't be permanent, but the issue I have is how much the show draws this out for so long, as if the audience is supposed to buy it. “It's really happening, guys! Ladybug and Cat Noir won't be the stars anymore, we swear!” This kind of plot can work under the right circumstances. All you needed to do is at the very least, make it something they choose to do instead of their Kwamis taking their Miraculous away so we can see them weigh the benefits of giving up life as a superhero in ways that aren't exclusively about their love lives. I'd even buy it if it's something Ladybug and Cat Noir actually agreed on before quitting.
While I can sort of get Alya becoming Scarabella due to her experience with the Ladybug (even if she chose to give up using any Miraculous at the end of Season 4), Zoe getting the Cat just feels like the writers put a bunch of names in a hat and picked hers. The two just don't have as compelling a dynamic as Ladybug and Cat Noir do, because they don't get a lot of time to know each other. Alya and Zoe have almost never interact with each other, so the masks don't really shake up their relationship, because there's no relationship to speak of.
Also, the Akuma here was really forced. We know nothing about this new character while the show acts like we're supposed to know who he is based on some minor hints with Nora calling earlier. While I will give the show credit for arguably giving us the most powerful Akuma of all time due to being both a man and a bear, he's as forgettable as a villain as Kitty Noire is as a hero.
Just about nobody here comes out smelling like roses in this episode. The Kwamis are morons for caring about one ship becoming canon, Marinette and Adrien are selfish cowards for giving up their Miraculous with little hesitation, their friends are ignorant buffoons for thinking some random attempt to get Marinette and Adrien to talk will somehow seal the deal, and Alya and Zoe are idiots for not thinking that they should take off the shiny ring that tracks their every movement. It's a terrible episode, and the only reason why “Deflagration” is ranked higher is because it didn't irritate me as much as this one did.
#15: Determination
And now we're onto the really bad episodes this season.
This episode is pretty much what you've come to expect by Season 5. People keep forcing Marinette into situations she's clearly uncomfortable, and we're supposed to just laugh at her anxiety, because we still have eight episodes to go before the show decides to take her mental health seriously.
What makes this episode really sting for me is that it's Luka and Kagami that are forcing Marinette into these unfunny antics this time. For the most part, they never really stooped to this level and didn't try to force anything with their respective love interests until they had trouble in their relationships that required them to communicate. But now, even though one knows Marinette and Adrien are superheroes while the other is usually very blunt with her feelings (at least, before she became this season's next victim), they're going to try forcing Marinette and Adrien to spend time together even they both know they have feelings for each other and MY GOD, THIS IS SO STUPID! It's just a cheap excuse for more pointless shenanigans that stopped being funny years ago.
Yet somehow, that's not the worst of the Love Square drama this episode. It's here where we learn that Adrien fell in love with Marinette over a season ago, during a scene where she violated his personal space. In addition, Adrien somehow showed no signs of attraction to Marinette until the plot demanded it, and came right after another episode showing him falling for her. Why not make it the fake confession Marinette practiced with Cat Noir in “Glaciator 2”? The kiss Marinette gave Adrien at the end of “Heroes' Day”? I'd even take another umbrella scene callback like in “Mr. Pigeon 72”. But no, it's the statue scene that the writers decided on. It's like they noticed all the criticism Marinette got in that episode and were like “Joke's on you! Adrien actually liked being lusted over like an object!”.
And then the masks come on and make things even more convoluted. Adrien at least got to reflect on the events of a previous episode to explain his new feelings for Marinette, but what caused Ladybug to suddenly fall for Cat Noir after four seasons?
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The writers don't even bother with an explanation for this. Ladybug spontaneously becomes attracted to Cat Noir with absolutely no foreshadowing, buildup, or even callbacks to earlier episodes. The writers either wanted to complicate things one last time before Adrienette became canon, they wanted to bury the Ladynoir conflict arc from last season in the sand, or the most likely option, a combination of both.
The idea of the public turning on Ladybug was an interesting one to take, seeing how she's been universally beloved for the past four seasons. But despite hinting at it in “Multiplication”, this is the farthest is goes, and even then, guess who's behind it? You can't keep raising points against the main characters if it's only Chloe who does it. It doesn't open debate on the story and essentially tells the audience that they're wrong to agree with her, no matter what kind of point she makes.
As dumb as the way it happened was, Ladybug still screwed up and endangered the city by losing the other Miraculous, but we can't actually challenge children by acknowledging that the hero actually did something wrong and needs to grow as a person. We need to use a recurring character as a strawman to tell the audience that only bad people think this way! Way to remove any interesting internal conflict, writers.
The Akuma was pretty weak, just being an older Puppeteer, down to using wax statues like what happened in “Puppeteer 2”. The army of wax heroes could have been interesting, but there wasn't enough time to do much with the idea. The one thing I liked was how the Ox Miraculous' Resistance was used. It felt like an upgrade instead of a core power Manipula got.
This episode pretty much set the stage for a new level of frustrating Love Square drama this season, and it was one of the season's first outright awful episodes.
#16: Conformation
The only reason this episode isn't at the bottom is because the rest of the ones on this list are far worse by comparison. Make of that what you will.
Like most season finales, this one continues the tradition of being better at buildup than actual execution. Gabriel's plan is pretty decent, even if it's just Heroes Day on a global scale. He utilizes his public influence and business skills to plan out a plan to get almost all of humanity working for him. While I don't like the Miraculized, I still think Gabriel being on top works here, especially since he's not going out into the field like the last three finales.
But other than an okay evil plan, this episode is still pretty bad. Marinette being infected with nightmare dust only happens to get her to the Agreste manor because the writers forgot that Marinette learned Gabriel was Monarch last episode. It could have been a decent way to up the stakes by showing Ladybug not being at 100%, but like everyone else, she just fights off the nightmare dust and doesn't have a single problem during her fight with Monarch. In general, the nightmare dust isn't really utilized well, only being an excuse to bring out the Miraculized. It doesn't impact everyone fighting off the Miraculized, and there's no lesson or theme about fear that's conveyed here.
Speaking of nightmare dust, I'm pretty sure the only reason why it was introduced in the first place was to bench Adrien, which is still easily one of the dumbest decisions the show has ever made. While everyone else had no problem resisting the nightmare dust, Adrien is just physically incapable of doing so because of some half-assed character arc the show pretended happened. So either Adrien got a more potent dosage of the nightmare dust, or Adrien's just too weak to actually overcome his fears. “Sandboy”? Never heard of it! The fact that the writers also tried to claim they were being subversive with fairy tale tropes and cliches didn't help, since it devalues Adrien as a character even further. He's not a superhero and Ladybug's closest ally. He's just some damsel in distress who needs to be saved. Let me just remind you, if the genders were reversed, this would not be seen as some bold move, but the same overused cliche trying to be something new.
I already talked about my problems with Nathalie in “Passion”, and the stuff she does here isn't really different. Despite enabling Gabriel for five seasons, the episode has the balls to act like Nathalie always had morals and is appalled by Gabriel planning to sacrifice someone to save his wife. Just remember, “Passion” established that Nathalie had a history as a treasure hunter, so this is like Indiana Jones not knowing what the Holy Grail does. Nathalie only got dumber than in “Passion” because she somehow thought she could take on a supervillain with nothing but a crossbow and a body that already has one foot in the grave. And just like Felix, Nathalie can't even apologize to Ladybug for the aiding and abetting a terrorist thing. Between Nathalie, Felix, and Gabriel, does using the Peacock Miraculous just make you an idiot?
While the buildup is decent, it's just not enough to really get audiences excited for the second part.
#17: Representation
This episode is yet another example of the show's double standards.
Without going into detail too much, this episode came right after “Revolution”, the one that essentially portrayed Audrey taking control of Chloe's life as a karmic punishment. What happens in this episode? We learn Felix's father literally took control of his life and it's portrayed as wrong as child abuse should be. That's why this episode is still better than “Revolution”. It at the very least understands how serious child abuse is, and tries to tell Felix's story with as much dignity as two teenagers in white onesies can have.
With that being said, there's a reason why this episode is as low as it is. The Sentimonster play used to tell Marinette about Felix is just so stupid. The sets and costumes look ridiculous, it's hard to take the story seriously with Felix and Kagami doing all the voices, and most of it is unnecessary since the whole point is to tell Marinette that Gabriel is Monarch... something that the writers decided she needed to find out on her own in the next episode. It comes across less like Felix trying to alert Ladybug to who Monarch really is and more like he's just trying to justify his own actions. Hell, the actual reason he decided to tell Marinette about Gabriel was because he and Kagami were worried about their own relationship being ruined by him. And yet somehow, Ladybug lets him on the team at the end of the season.
The stuff with Adrien was also pretty dumb. It's cheap fanservice that reminds the audience of Cat Blanc when none of the characters should know who Cat Blanc is. You can call him Anticat all you want, but everyone can see that he's just Cat Blanc with blue hair. It's bad enough that this was what all the times Cat Noir almost Cataclysming people this season was meant to lead up to, but this is pretty much the reason why Adrien is benched during the finale.
This episode really shows how desperate the writers are to make people take this show seriously by showing serious topics like genocide and child abuse, as if the show didn't already ignore the horrible implications previous episodes (like the very last one before this) raised and will continue to raise during the season finale. So much of the episode is just dark for the sake of being dark. It's nothing too horrifying for children, of course, but the issue is how obvious it is that the writers are trying to raise the stakes right before the season finale and show how mature the show's writing is. For lack of a better term, it's this show's equivalent to “Ow The Edge”.
#18: Revelation
Get ready for the episode where the writers abandon all attempts to be subtle and create an episode specifically to attack people who think Chloe isn't the most evil character on the show. Because how dare they be optimistic and try to see the good in people! What do they think this is, a kids' show?
While a big problem with the Lila episodes was how stupid the class is, this episode made it so Marinette got to join in on losing brain cells too. Despite outright admitting to neglecting her duties as class representative (as absurd as it is to be in charge of notifying teachers about student progress they should be aware of), we're supposed to agree with her for not telling her teacher about Chloe cheating. Not only does this make no sense since you'd think Marinette would want to see Chloe get punished, but her claiming that all Chloe does is abuse her privileges loses any point to it because Marinette admitted to not doing her job as class representative, making her just as lazy as Chloe and unintentionally helping her through not telling the teachers. And that's not even getting into how many times Marinette has broken the secret identity rule despite also being the one to enforce it the most as the Guardian.
If the episode at least admitted to Marinette having personal issues that prevented her from displaying any form of professionalism towards Chloe (especially since this episode takes place after “Derision”), that'd be fine. Sometimes, people just can't let bygones be bygones and let their emotions dictate how they handle things. If she willingly resigned from her position by admitting she was just as at fault for Chloe getting as far as she did with her cheating, that would have worked. Instead, the episode does the same things it did with Adrien for the last few seasons: Go out of its way to vindicate Marinette's complaining and never even consider the idea of her being wrong in the slightest.
It's also hilarious to see Ms. Bustier act like an actual teacher for once and plan to work with Chloe to help make up her missed work, but portray it as a bad thing because in Marinette's eyes, that's not a punishment. Since the school year is almost over, Chloe will have to attend summer school at best and be held back or even expelled at worst. How the hell does that not count as a punishment, Marinette?
And don't forget how she gets not one, but two separate scenes insulting people for being idealistic and not wanting to write off people as beyond saving, the second one being copied from Astruc's Twittter.
And remember, this was right before a string of episodes where characters were able to change their ways, including Sabrina (Chloe's accomplice), Andre (Chloe's enabler), and Gabriel (Chloe's supervillain contact). How the hell is Chloe the only one being written off as irredeemable when she didn't pull off any of her evil plans without help? You can still punish Chloe. All I want is for the other characters to be punished as well.
But let's talk about the main event for this episode: Lila. In one of the most confusing “twists” in the show's history, she's now an identity thief who lives with three different mothers. Why? Because the writers have no idea how to hype people up for her being the main villain for Season 6, so they think just making her mysterious for the sake of making her mysterious is enough to build her up as a villain. It's like the writers realized Lila had absolutely zero resources of her own, so they felt like they needed to establish her as an evil genius to compensate. “Who cares if there's no logical explanation for how she's gotten as far as she has despite constantly boasting about her celebrity connections in public? We have to make her vague and mysterious, damn it! It worked for Judas Traveller and Kaine, didn't it?”
This episode takes multiple shots at fans and tries to make Lila seem more compelling than she actually is. It feels more like damage control than an actual plot-relevant episode.
#19: Illusion
Want to see the main characters acting like idiots for almost a half-hour? No? Too bad!
So much of this episode's conflict, the characters trying to investigate a possible lead related to Monarch, comes from everyone making stupid decisions. Nino tries to get one of the most influencial men in Paris akumatized, talks about it in public, falls for his trick, and lets him into his secret alliance. This season really cemented his role as the Zapp Brannigan of Miraculous Ladybug with how incompetent he is. If you really want to start portraying Nino as a tactical genius, maybe you should actually show him doing something smart instead of getting outsmarted by obvious tricks.
Of course, the other characters aren't immune to Nino's stupidity either. Marinette, Adrien, and Alya just go along with his asinine plan to get Gabriel akumatized, never question his logic, and ultimately still go along with the Resistance despite how obnoxious their leader is. The worst part is Ladybug not recognizing her own partner being stung by Venom... when they're fighting someone with access to over a dozen Miraculous. I know Cat Noir was born with glass bones and paper skin, but I don't think he literally freezes in terror when he's scared. And of course, Ladybug never questions the tiny invisible men who stunned Cat Noir after this scene.
The cafeteria scene is something that should really be cited as an example of how terrible this show is with acknowledging continuity. You thought there would be some compelling drama discussing the secret identity rule and all the double standards it has? NOPE! It's a funny joke about how confusing the identity stuff is at this point. The fact that Nino somehow doesn't understand the concept of secret identities in this scene is yet another reason as to why he isn't even qualified to lead an anime club, much less a resistance against Monarch.
The idea of Monarch using an illusion to fight Ladybug and Cat Noir was an interesting one, but it still had some holes. For one thing, what if the two heroes can't dodge one of the illusion Collector's attacks? What if they're fast enough to try tying him up, only to dispel the illusion? The entire plan pretty much relies on the fact that Ladybug and Cat Noir are too slow to catch the Collector.
But one scene that has only become more questionable after the finale is Ladybug trying to reach through to the illusion Collector. Like several episodes this season, it comes across like the show is spitting on idealism and wanting to solve problems peacefully because Monarch tricked Ladybug into believing he willingly rejected an Akuma. Remember kids, if someone says they want to change, it's really a trick as part of an evil supervillain's plan to maintain his secret identity.
This episode is like a microcosm of everything wrong with Season 5. Poor morals, characters acting like idiots, shooting down any potential for plot development, and being told characters are right when their actions say otherwise.
#20: Confrontation
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the episode where the writers just gave up.
There is just so much that happens in this episode that the writers cram in. There's Marinette's “final” confrontation with Lila, the battle with Reflekta, Sabrina's redemption, Juleka's character development, Ms. Bustier's character development, Mr. Damocles' character development, and the reveal of Lila's true nature. I don't think I need to tell you that the writers struggle to make all of these plot threads work in less than a half-hour.
First off, Marinette and Lila. The previous episode implied that Marinette let Lila have this short-term victory because she had her own plan to expose her. This episode puts that plan into action. See, she has the genius idea of going along with submitting school application forms to Lila and Chloe with no actual countermeasure in place, waiting for Sabrina to have a sudden change of heart so they can work together to expose Lila and Chloe through a bathroom peephole. This is the kind of tactical intelligence that will be studied in the history books, let me tell you. There's just no weight to Marinette and Lila's final battle of wits because there isn't any. There's no series of gambits or scenarios that actually pit their minds against each other, so you don't get a lot of satisfaction from Marinette's triumph over Lila. It doesn't help that there's more focus on Sabrina than on Marinette, but I'll get to that later. Even the actual payoff is anti-climactic. Most of the class' apology to Marinette was deleted because Mr. Damocles using a Magical Charm shield was just too important to leave on the cutting room floor according to the writers.
This episode really shows just how Marinette's classmates are like NPCs in the Lila-centric stories. They don't second guess Lila's accusations due to their past experiences with Marinette, and as soon as Marinette's name is cleared, they instantly apologize to her and don't even think about how easily they were fooled by Lila and Chloe. The worst example is Alya, Marinette's confidant and someone who was trusted to temporarily use the Ladybug Miraculous last episode, falling for this and not trusting Marinette. My sister in Christ, your friend goes out and saves lives on a weekly basis at least. How can you fall for Lila's story? This is why I think the Lila episodes should have all been set pre-Season 4, so Alya falling for Lila's lies is a little more believable since she isn't already in on Marinette's biggest secret.
I also have to roll my eyes at how melodramatic the talk about everyone's “futures” is. Yes, I don't know a lot about the French education system (If there's anything I'm getting wrong here, don't hesitate to let me know), but I don't get why they're treating their high school choices like such a big deal. Maybe if it was college, I'd get it, but high school? Why can't you just transfer if it doesn't work out? But then again, this is the same show created by a man who thinks school uniforms are a sign of fascism.
THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES.
Speaking of futures, this episode also showed just how little the writers cared about Adrien at this point, with how a supposedly heartwaming moment is him having no plan in life other than Marinette. I know this might seem weird given my problem with him last season was his refusal to think about anyone but himself, but there's a difference between wanting someone to follow orders without complaining and giving them absolutely no motivation outside of their significant other. And once again, if you swap the genders, this becomes sexist as hell.
But the big problem comes in the form of how the side characters are utilized. I don't know why the writers decided to focus on developing characters like Sabrina, Juleka, Ms. Bustier, and Mr. Damocles with five episodes left in the season. This should have been done in earlier episodes, not in the middle of a major story arc. I'm just left not caring about the development because it takes away from the conflict between Marinette and Lila, to say nothing about how little Adrien and Alya contribute to the story.
To me, this episode feels like the writers had no idea how to make Marinette outsmarting Lila into an episode, so they crammed in all these half-assed character arcs to pad out the runtime. While “Revelation” personally upset me more, I personally think this is the worse episode of the two from a writing standpoint.
#21: Revolution
Given how often I've criticized the way Chloe has been handled over the years, I bet you're surprised that this one isn't at the bottom of the list. You'll be even more surprised to learn that I think Chloe is one of this episode's saving graces.
This episode (along with “Derision”) provide an example of the Chloe we should have gotten ever since Season 3 ended: A villain who's allowed to be a threat while still being funny. So much of the past two seasons have done nothing but portray Chloe as nothing but an incompetent joke, but here, near the end of the season, she's in a position of power and is taken seriously. The episode does a good job showing how tyrannical Chloe's rule as Mayor is while still making it funny and in-character for her. She uses her power on frivolous things because she's a teenage girl who doesn't understand the complicated issues that come with politics. It's also why her idea of punishment involves detention, because it's something she's more familiar with as someone in middle school. Of course, even the episode all about Chloe ruling Paris with an iron fist isn't stupid enough to actually let Chloe be a compelling antagonist. No, we need to constantly remind the audience that Chloe is being played, as if we're supposed to see her as nothing more than a pawn even though the show still wants us to see her as an irredeemable monster.
Putting aside that one speck of something interesting, this episode is still incredibly bad. So much of the story is dependent not on how smart the villains' plan is, but rather, how lazy the heroes are. Not only is there not a single moment where Ladybug and Cat Noir acknowledge that the whole reason why Chloe was able to take over as Mayor was their fault, they act as if Chloe abusing her power to make everyone's life a living hell isn't enough of a reason to stop her. What kind of Prime Directive bullshit is this? YOU JUST HELPED SOMEONE LEAD AN INSURRECTION AGAINST A POWERLESS CIVILIAN! HOW IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT?! If there was at least something involving Ladybug and Cat Noir taking responsibility for what happened or at least showing that they played a part in this (especially since they “grow up” in this episode), I'd get it. Instead, because this is Season 5, our heroes are perfection incarnate, and can't ever be wrong. Even when they finally decide to get off their asses and stop Chloe, they didn't know she was akumatized, and nobody seemed to care before Chloe blurted it out, so Ladybug and Cat Noir have no excuses for slacking off.
The final battle is just a joke. Not only is it another excuse to force the Resistance into the plot, it shows Ladybug and Cat Noir unlocking the full power of their Miraculous in the most anti-climactic way possible. Even though they spent most of the episode caring more about their personal lives than actually stopping the obvious threat, somehow, this means they “grew up”. There's no buildup, no explanation, and no catharsis gained from this achievement. All of a sudden, Ladybug and Cat Noir are adults now. There's one decent scene with Adrien, but that's far from an actual explanation. What, did you actually expect an explanation for something this huge? Too bad! We need to have Marinette tell Chloe she's not afraid of her anymore even though she was never afraid of her prior to this season. Of all the things that happened this season, this is the one that makes it clear that Season 5 was supposed to be the end. There is no way Season 6 can happen unless the writers come up with some crap that undoes this, because Ladybug and Cat Noir have essentially unlocked god mode.
But I saved the worst for last, and you all know what it is: Chloe's punishment. I still can't get over the fact that there's actually a scene heavily implying we're supposed to be happy Chloe is going to live with her emotionally abusive mother in the same season that's trying to tell a serious story about child abuse. There's already been so much said about all the horrible things this implies, so I'm going to try and bring up something else. Specifically, how everyone is just okay with this. I can buy Ladybug given all the things Chloe has done to her, but it's pretty odd that Cat Noir, Andre, and Zoe all decide to wash their hands of their association with Chloe as if they never knew her. They don't even feel bad that it had to come to this, and feel absolutely no sympathy for her. Remember in episodes like “Malediktator” and “Queen Banana” that showed Adrien and Zoe still cared for Chloe despite all the terrible things she's done, teaching kids a lesson about trying to show compassion to your enemies? The writers sure didn't, because Adrien and Zoe don't get to say a thing about Chloe after she's defeated. Way to establish connections between characters and do nothing with them, writers!
This episode had so many things wrong with it, and it only got worse the longer it went on, to the point where the ending is essentially condoning child abuse. It's disgusting, but at the very least, it means we're not going to have to deal with Chloe in Season 6.
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#22: Adoration
This is one of those episodes I honestly didn't think would hate as much as I did.
I think of all the episodes this season, this is the one that shows how frustratingly inconsistent the characterization is. Characters will either announce how much someone has changed or will take a complete 180 while the show makes it clear this is how things have always been. Not only does the show say Zoe has somehow changed and suddenly developed feelings for Marinette, but Chloe's view of Sabrina has gotten even lower, to the point where she calls her an underling to her face. Because actually showing character development and changing interpersonal relationships is too hard for these writers. It's like that rule everyone knows: Tell, don't show. That's how it goes, right?
Before anyone gets on my case about this, I'm not trying to say that Zoe having a crush on Marinette was a bad idea. The issue is more how it comes across like the show is trying to earn brownie points with LGBT+ audiences with the reveal. The issue is that this major revelation isn't about Zoe, but rather, Marinette. It's from a Marinette-focused episode all about her heterosexual feelings for Adrien while Zoe's coming out story is nothing more than a cautionary tale to get Marinette to finally try kissing Adrien. I'm not saying Marinette should have dumped Adrien to be with Zoe. The point I'm trying to make is if you want to show something as huge as a character coming out as sapphic, maybe put more focus on that character's struggles than the struggles the straight main character goes through. Maybe instead of being an afterthought in the story, make the episode about Marinette helping Zoe confess her feelings to a girl she likes.
This was also the episode that laid the groundwork for Andre and Sabrina's “redemption arcs”. Normally, I wouldn't mind something like them changing, but it's less to show a character becoming a better person and more to vilify a different character. Andre went from a corrupt politician who abuses his power to please his daughter to an honest politician who is forced to abuse his power to please his daughter. Sabrina went from Chloe's loyal friend who chooses to help her make people miserable to Chloe's underling who is being forced to help make people miserable. Both of them were perfectly willing to go along with Chloe's acts in the past, and as we saw in “Revolution”, being a pawn didn't excuse her from being punished, so by that logic, they shouldn't get a free pass either. It's also strange how this wasn't the episode where Andre and Sabrina officially cut ties with Chloe, considering they already had issues with them. There wasn't really a reason to wait if they already made their issues clear, especially Sabrina. Somehow framing Marinette here is okay but doing it a few episodes later is too much for her?
Also, Lila served no purpose in the episode. Just like in “Collusion” and “Revolution”, all she does is tell Chloe to do things she was perfectly capable of doing in earlier episodes. We're supposed to see her as a mastermind, but I don't get why she has to hold Chloe's hand here. Why can't Lila come up with her own plan or manipulate different people from behind the scenes? It only further highlights the double standards because while Sabrina being a lackey to Chloe earns her sympathy, Chloe being a lackey to Lila doesn't for some reason.
I am getting really tired of the whole “Nobody believes Marinette” formula that every Lila episode relies on (Chameleon, Ladybug, Risk, Revelation, Confrontation). It's the exact same story. Everyone who has known Marinette for the past four seasons suddenly loses all trust in her, only instead of instantly believing Lila, it's Chloe. CHLOE. This is worse than Lila, because she's at least in good graces with other people, but this is the same season that solidified the idea of nobody liking her at all. They seriously take her words at face value over Marinette, someone whose friends know has tormented her for a year at least (Derision)? Put aside how I feel about Chloe, this is a story that depends on trusting someone nobody has any reason to trust, and it makes no sense.
There are just so many minor issues in this episode that pile up enough to really piss me off. It's like a death by a thousand cuts.
#23: Collusion
I normally don't try to get political on this blog unless I absolutely have to, and talking about this episode is one of those occasions.
If you've been around since the early days of this blog, you'll remember that Astruc once compared Chloe to Donald Trump, and not too long after the January 6th attack on the Capitol Building at that.
Even before that thread, Astruc made a joke comparing Trump to Chloe less than a week after the attack.
Whether you agree with Astruc's views on Trump or not, the point is that he kept up with American politics and strongly opposes him. So anyway, let's get to the episode where the heroes let someone lead a small army to storm the mayor's office and force him to resign, which is totally different from what Trump did.
I cannot get over just how confusing this episode is. For a show created by someone who usually keeps up with American politics, this is such a tone-deaf episode. I get that the story is trying to lean into French history, and I'm not sure how far into production the crew was when the attack on the Capitol happened, but given how Astruc was aware of the drama, he and his team should have at least considered the implications this episode could raise. The problem with the discussion around January 6th is that the supporters see it in as righteous a light as Miss Sans-Culotte is. As far as they know, what happened wasn't a violent invasion of government property, but a peaceful demonstration. Sure, none of the talking balloons said “Hang Andre Bourgeois!”, but it still brings similar imagery to mind.
Something that also harms the French Revolution narrative is the fact that all of Miss Sans-Culotte's supporters are helping her against her will. Much like countless Akumas throughout the show's history (Darkblade, Kung Food, The Puppeteer, Princess Fragrance, Despair Bear, Befana, Zombizou, Malediktator, Gamer 2.0, Mr. Pigeon 72, Hack-San, Revelation, Confrontation), Miss Sans-Culotte brainwashes innocent civilians so they can help her cause. This goes against the idea that she's speaking for the people, because her victims don't have a say in this. She's not reenacting the French Revolution, she's reenacting Order 66!
Also, this is something I've neglected to discuss. Why make Miss Bustier pregnant at all, much less akumatize her while pregnant? Outside of her students telling Chloe not to make a scene because the stress caused from dealing that is bad for the baby, Ms. Bustier's pregnancy adds nothing to the story. Seriously, the story thinks Chloe annoying the class is more dangerous for Ms. Bustier's baby than Ms. Bustier herself running around and getting into fights with her baby inside. It could have made for some interesting drama where Ladybug and Cat Noir are hesitant to hurt a pregnant woman, even if she's been akumatized. While the writers do try to work around it by giving her minions to do the fighting (as much as it mucks up the themes of this episode), it still doesn't explain why she needed to be pregnant during this episode in the first place.
Putting aside how unlikable Miss Sans-Culotte is in this episode, you can't even enjoy seeing Andre getting kicked out of office because this is the same episode where the writers really want us to feel bad for him. Look at how sad the rich white politician is. Let's ignore the fact that he's a big part of the reason why Chloe is as bad as she is, has abused his power multiple times, and is all around the cause of his own problems. But even though this is a show that tries to take an anti-capitalist stance (which I'll get to more in “Emotion”), we're supposed to side with one of the biggest symbols of everything wrong with capitalism and political corruption. Even then, Andre is framed for corruption instead of the several instances he actually abused his power, as if they're trying to say he was never a corrupt man. He just loves his daughter. Is that too much to ask for? His daughter herself? Eh, who cares? You really need to support the rich white man. Are we sure this show was created by a liberal?
But the biggest issue is the moral. It's impossible to frame Miss Sans-Culotte storming the mayor's office as a peaceful protest because she's clearly inspired by one of the bloodiest and most violent revolutions in history. If she was supposed to be a violent warrior who needed to learn there was a better way, that would work, but instead, the show downplays how dangerous she is... when she has a guillotine blade for a weapon. You can't claim Miss Sans-Culotte is non-violently protesting Andre's administration when she brainwashes innocent civilians, storms into the building, and demands he resign without any question. Even taking all that into consideration, the moral ends up backfiring because forcing Andre out of office caused an even bigger problem with Chloe taking over, and the very next episode threw the non-violence message out the window.
Whether or not you want to consider the political implications here, this is still a terrible episode with a terrible moral.
#24: Pretension
I've always had issues with Felix, and after the trainwreck that was “Emotion”, let's just say this didn't exactly do anything to raise my opinion of him. Just like his other appearances for the last few seasons, he did absolutely nothing to help Ladybug, focused on only doing things that benefited him, and making everyone's lives worse due to his incompetence. And somehow, this idiot is the one who moves the plot along the most.
The entire conflict happened because Felix kidnapped Kagami without even coming up with a plan. Even when he believes that Kagami is a Sentimonster (I apologize for saying that word Felix hates, but once again, the show provides no alternative to it), he doesn't think of Tomoe being able to track her or command her to leave even at a far distance. He doesn't even try to explain himself to Ladybug and Cat Noir and spends more time running away from everyone who wants to kick his ass. But by the show's logic, he just needs friends, even though his entire deal is that he works alone to get what he wants.
It's bad enough that Felix has to screw up everything he touches, but now he's dragging Kagami to his level. Kagami has cemented her role as Felix's lackey/girlfriend and nothing more. People give Marinette crap for the way the behaves around Adrien in and out of universe, but Kagami knows nothing about Felix, yet a single conversation about his past is enough for her to fall head over heels in love with him. She went from someone not willing to take any bullcrap from Marinette and Adrien to believing Felix's story in a fraction of a heartbeat. This season really likes ruining the few likable characters the show has left.
I also have to roll my eyes at the conversation Marinette and Gabriel have about fashion. For one thing, it's one of the few times the entire season remembers that Marinette wants to be a fashion designer and doesn't really factor into her rivalry with Gabriel. This season made their conflict revolve around how to treat Adrien, not their views on fashion. It feels like they only brought it up to remind viewers that Marinette is still into fashion. Well, that, and also to take a stance on artistic integrity... supposedly.
And on that note, it's amazing how the writers display little to no self-awareness during this scene. The show that embraces sticking to the status quo and rejecting almost any attempt at keeping consistent continuity is now trying to teach children about the importance of being willing to take risks when creating something. This is like Hannibal Lecter trying to promote veganism. I get the message, but the messenger's history is keeping me from buying it. It doesn't help that for a scene trying to point out how outdated certain views are, the show ultimately chooses to take the side of the man with the “wrong” mindset by the end of the season.
The pancake metaphor really confuses me too. It's meant to be a running gag that the only thing Gabriel knows how to cook is pancakes, but A) Nothing is really indicated to show how terrible they are as a metaphor for how bad his outdated views are other than Marinette's verbal assessment of them, and B) We later learn Gabriel used to be poor, so either he never knew how to cook prior to earning his fortune or being rich somehow made him forget basic living skills. I'm just saying, when an episode of Sid the Science Kid manages to better convey someone doing a terrible job making pancakes, you might need to put in a little more effort to show how bad Gabriel's pancakes supposedly are.
Finally, Tomoe. This episode didn't really do much to show her as a compelling threat, given all she did was nag Gabriel and try to shoot her daughter when she didn't even try commanding her to fight back when she was kidnapped. She's nothing more than a female Gabriel and is another example of how overstuffed this show's cast is,
This episode is awful, plain and simple. It took aspects from previous episodes that were already questionable, and doubled down on them while acting like there weren't any problems at all.
#25: Derision
And now we're onto the really, REALLY bad episodes this season. One of the reasons why this post took so long to make was that I wasn't sure how to rank these last three episodes. Thankfully, I managed to find a way to rank them based on the morals are executed. With that being said, let's start scraping the bottom of the barrel.
Ah, “Derision”. You're the only episode that makes the backlash caused by “Chameleon” seem like a pleasant breeze. It's incredible to see just how much negative a reputation this episode has in the fandom. Virtually nobody likes it because it manages to upset everyone with its poor characterization. I'm talking Marinette fans, Adrien fans, Chloe fans, Kim fans, and pretty much every other character's fans. I've only seen a few die hard fans defend this episode, and they're the people on Tumblr who defend pretty much everything done this season.
I have just one question to ask about this episode: Why did it need to happen? We didn't learn anything new that we didn't know already. We know Chloe is mean, and we know Marinette used to be more timid and had no friends. We didn't even need that much of an explanation for why Marinette acts the way she does around Adrien, seeing how it was usually played for laughs
Speaking of which, let's talk about the fact that the episode tries to shame the audience for laughing at the jokes about Marinette's reactions to Adrien. You know, something that was the show's primary running gag ever since Season 1? A running gag the writers ran into the ground by the end of Season 3 but still chose to go with it? Now we're not supposed to have laughed at it, assuming we laughed at it all. Way to insult even the small portion of viewers who didn't get on your case about this, writers.
I only have about two positive things to say about this episode. For one thing, Chloe actually served as a pretty decent antagonist in the flashbacks. Much like in “Revolution”, when the writers actually let her be a villain on her own without being made a pawn, she can be somewhat entertaining. If this was the Chloe we got after Season 3, I don't I would have been as upset at the direction Astruc's team took with the character.
In addition, the thing that saves this episode from being at the bottom is that unlike the next two, it actually understands that what the antagonist did was wrong. They don't make up excuses for what Chloe did and she actually gets called out as a result. It doesn't lead to anything major, but it's something.
Like with “Queen Banana”, there's not much else I can say that hasn't already been said. There's plenty of retcons, the characterization for everyone is off, it attacks the audience, and the message about trauma got fumbled by the show's usual double standards. It's been said over and over again, and it's become a symbol of how much the show's quality has degraded.
#26: Emotion
I think if you've kept up with my reviews of this season, you should know by now that I don't exactly like Felix, and most of the problems I have with him can be attributed to this episode. In fact, for a while, this was going to be my choice for the bottom slot.
It's clear that the writers want to make Felix this wild card who's only in it for himself, but like most of the show's antagonists, they want to show Felix as this devious mastermind... but he's also not really evil, and you should feel bad for him. For most of the episode, Felix does nothing but make everyone's lives worse during his first outing as Argos. He smears his cousin's reputation yet again, tricks his girlfriend into dancing with him, condemns some rich kids for the crime of being rich when he's just as rich, and eventually wipes out all life on the face of the earth. But he's just doing it for his cousin, we swear!
While Felix has understandable motivations for what he does, wanting to free Adrien and Kagami, the way he tries to achieve his goal makes it hard to sympathize with him. If the whole point was that what he did was wrong and that he needs to find a different way, that could work. Instead, we're supposed to see him as this tragic figure who was forced to do terrible things when the episode shows him happily singing while causing chaos. It's the same problem with Gabriel, wanting a sympathetic character to do unapologetically evil things. The fact that he has to be told that genocide is bad doesn't make us want to sympathize with him when he breaks down crying. It paints a picture that he's crazy but the show wants to act like he isn't.
Even putting all the crap with Felix aside, the episode is still unbearable. The stuff with Marinette was poorly executed and was just done to get her involved in the plot, and later become the first one to excuse Felix for betraying her. Other than the dance scene, you could easily just have Marinette swing in as Ladybug when Argos starts his rampage and nothing would really change. The episode tries to make jokes about how unnecessary this is, but as usual, its attempts to be self-aware come across like its saying “What we're doing it wrong, we know it's wrong, but we're gonna do it anyway!”
Speaking of the dance scene, I can't stop rolling my eyes whenever Felix tries to be all “We live in a society” to Marinette. Forget the corrupt politicians, corporate moguls, human traffickers, and despotic rulers of foreign nations. The absolute worst section of humanity is composed of the teenage children of the 1%. Sure, you'd have to break my legs before I'd agree to supervise them at this party, but I don't get why these are the people we're supposed to see as irredeemable monsters. Do the writers think because these kids associate themselves with Chloe, we'll automatically hate them? Newsflash, but if I had to choose between hanging out with some annoying kids and a mass murderer, I'd stick with the annoying kids.
Rewatching this episode was what helped me finally realize just what my problem with the show's anti-capitalist message is. How the hell am I supposed to hate the villains on this show for being rich when several characters are rich or at the very least, are successful thanks to their connections to the rich? Think about it for a second. Putting aside Adrien and Kagami, you have Marinette, the daughter of two of the most popular bakers in Paris and earned the respect of multiple celebrities, Alya, the daughter of a chef who works at a five-star hotel, Nino, someone who got to DJ at a major fashion show, Rose, who is friends with a literal prince, Luka and Juleka, the children of a popular rock star, and Max, the son of an astronaut with access to cutting-edge technology. Somehow, these people are supposed to be poor? They make Monica from Friends look like Oscar the Grouch. It's why I can't take the message seriously. You can't write a story about a class struggle when both classes are shown to be pretty well-off.
The only thing that saves this episode from being at the bottom of the list is the fact that despite committing genocide while singing, Felix at least gets what he did was wrong and makes up for it. It doesn't fix everything else he did in this episode, but that's better than nothing. As for the villain featured in the episode that's at the bottom of this list? If you've been keeping track, I think you know who I mean.
#27: Re-Creation
I'll admit, I'm sort of cheating here. I'm judging this episode more as a finale than an individual episode, but I'm making an exception because the plot is tied to wrapping up all the loose ends this season.
I'm mentioning this because for a season finale, the stakes just feel so low. The fight between Bug Noire and Monarch doesn't have any weight to it because they've barely interacted at all for the last five seasons. These are supposed to be two mortal enemies, but you can't really buy the enmity between them. It ultimately cheapens the moment of Bug Noire triumphing over Monarch in the end... before Monarch triumphs over her not long afterwards, but we'll get to that.
The stuff with the Miraculized doesn't help either. We already know that the Ladybug and Cat Miraculous are in the Agreste manor, so the Miraculized's goal is impossible to achieve. It's never even explained why the Miraculized don't go back to the manor to help Monarch beat Bug Noire, since they should still be able to track the Miraculous. All of the fights with them just come across like filler, and there's no real sense of danger or hopelessness to be found. Whether the Miraculized win or lose is irrelevant. Nothing will happen either way because the important stuff is happening in the Agreste manor.
This extends to the part where all the heroes appear to help. It doesn't come across as an Avengers-esque moment for the climax, because it doesn't change anything. The episode never explains what any of these characters were doing prior to the events of this episode and why only now they're helping out. The United Heroes are the most egregious example because unlike Fei or Su-Han, they're a major organization whose members include the president, and they didn't do a damn thing when Monarch stole all of the other Miraculous. Speaking of, there is no way in hell that Su-Han taught Mirakung-Fu to three random people over Ladybug and Cat Noir, much less that those three people are actual masters after about two months at best. Maybe they got to train in Bunnix's Burrow? After all, she's not doing anything else to stop the end of the world other than sending four people over to Paris. This whole sequence really highlights how bland the other heroes of this universe are. If they're not slacking off when they're needed, they're criminally underdeveloped because there's a slim chance they'll get spin-offs to flesh them out.
But I think the biggest issue me and other people have with this finale is the resolution. In what is easily one of the most baffling decisions the show has made, Bug Noire doesn't defeat Monarch, and Monarch gets to make his wish. I don't care how many times the writers technically say she won because she beat him in a fight. Gabriel backstabbed her at the last minute and got her Miraculous to make his wish. Yeah, he died, but he succeed in achieving his goal, never faced any real consequences, didn't get any closure with his son (much less apologize for abusing him), told Marinette to lie about the monster he was to him, and was turned into a martyr with a statue made of the same things he used to control the world.
This ending infuriates me because it not only makes Marinette out to be a terrible hero for failing to do the one thing she was chosen to do (get the Butterfly Miraculous back), but it also ultimately makes Gabriel out to be a decent person even though he destroyed and recreated the world. All Marinette did was take credit for saving the world, and even then, Gabriel got more celebration in the end. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen! She got outsmarted by an abusive parent and didn't even get a new statue in her honor!
But the most damning thing of all this is the fact that this finale retroactively makes everything that's happened over the last five seasons completely pointless. If Gabriel making a wish wasn't as bad as it was supposed to be, why didn't Ladybug and Cat Noir let him borrow their Miraculous? Why make the stakes this high if you're going to downplay the impact of a madman recreating the world in his own image? Follow-up question: why make the stakes this high if the wish being made is ultimately shown to have huge benefits for society? In an attempt to wrap things up with a happy ending, the writers accidentally made the conflict completely meaningless.
That's why this resolution is the ultimate example of the writers refusing to allow any major changes to happen. If they're willing to treat the end of the universe as less important than Ms. Bustier becoming mayor, why should we assume they'll ever take their story seriously? For God's sake, every character you know and love is essentially dead, and we're supposed to act like that isn't a big deal? That's how you wanted to end the show originally? Then again, at least they tried to resolve something, unlike the Love Square. We still haven't gotten a reveal, and I don't think we ever will at this point. These writers will drag out the story until the show stops becoming profitable, which won't be for a long time.
And with that, I am officially done with Season 5. Honestly, after having to rewatch this season again, I'm not sure if it's even worth giving Season 6 a shot. There's nothing to look forward to, and Lila becoming the main villain isn't really appealing to me. At the very least, I have the movie review to look forward to, meaning I can watch something good for a change.
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Round 5, Match 2
propaganda below the cut! (wall of text warning)
Selena:
"truly probably one of the most beautiful women to have ever walked this earth. voice of an angel, dazzling smile, looks like she smells good"
"if u don't vote selena ur mexicanphobic /j"
Brian Molko:
"Gender"
"IM GOING TO EAT HER. He is soooo beautiful and freakish and small and weird and girlfriend and tiny like a little princess bug fairy. Literally gorgeous she has to win"
"When he flipped over the table with the little limp wrist.... someone find the video"
"1998 woman of the year"
"Brian Molko is peak gender envy, gender bending and being yourself without caring about other people's opinion, on top of all that he is a great guitarist that writes amazing songs"
"Brian’s gonna win this. I think we all kinda know that."
"Tumblrinas would be nothing without Brian molko"
"Kills her kills her kills her kills her kills her kills him kills her. He's my everything <3"
"He came 10th in the list of hottest women sometimes in the 90s. Gender goals."
"No one in the world can sound so nasal and look so angelic....."
"don't you wish you had his gender"
"Single-handedly took my gender by the scruff of the neck and threw it in a washing machine at full speed. He talked about not expecting to "get away with" passing as a woman to the degree that he did when he started purposely presenting feminine. He talked about the importance to fuck with people's heads through his appearance and behaviour, the importance of ambiguity. About how being in the band allowed him to do stuff he couldn't have done otherwise, to exaggerate some of his traits. He had the fuck ass bob makeup nail polish dresses stuff down, but not in an overly sophisticated way, especially in the early career 90s days the vibe was more shabby punk rock chick. Also he fantasized about being in an all-girl band called Skirt and playing guitar and singing backing vocals in drag. According to a 1997 melody maker interview bandmate steve hewitt called him "the most confused woman he's ever known". And if you go down that rabbit hole there's just more of this. Lots of material to focus on if you like genderweird bisexual unclean libertines (song ref) who will just say Anything in interviews. It's fun."
"I've drawn him as saints and martyrs such as saint sebastian and joan of arc. Or all bloody lying in a wet alley after being thrown out of a club. Or unconscious on a snowy road. Or dying in a glue trap. Or shocked after seeing a dead body. Also as a nun and as rose mcgowan in the doom generation. This is because I'm normal."
"She's a sick little angel faced freak. My theythem girlboy queen. He reminds me of an ant. He's like 5 foot 4 or something. My goth girl boyfriend. <3"
#most attractive 90s musician#poll#polls#90s music#tournament#selena quintanilla#selena quintanilla perez#brian molko#placebo
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12 am anon back at it again. my friend called me at 2 am, tipsy on i wanna say wine??? and ranted about how nightwing’s “superpower” is his charisma for like 15 mins . and then they talked about how he looks like he’d have a great spice tolerance before hanging up. i think its a hyperfixation .
I absolutely love it!! You and your friend just have the best conversations ever.
Your ask immediately reminded me of this scene from YJ Season 3
"That's just about everyone. Wasn't sure they'd all respond."
"You command more respect than you realize."
"I'm starting to get that."
Literally this boy has charisma oozing out of his pores. It absolutely is his superpower!
Charisma is known as "a personal magic of leadership arousing special popular loyalty or enthusiasm for a public figure" or "the quality of being able to attract, charm and influence those around you." And Dick is the living embodiment of it.
It's actually a canon trait of his
The New Teen Titans (1980) Issue #5
Dick has the unique ability to lead people. It's not just about telling others what to do, it's people wanting to follow him, listen to him, and and accepts his commands of their own volition.
In the DC/RWBY comic, the RWBY team crosses over to Gotham with all their problems so they have to work together with Batman, Batgirl, and Nightwing (Ruby REALLY gets along with Dick which for some reason makes so much sense idk why). And the batfamily get superpowers.
And DC-
DC LITERALLY WENT-
DC/RWBY Issue #3
THEY ACTUALLY GAVE HIM THE POWER OF INSPIRATION. THEY SAID "if anyone has the ability to lead people to a better life, give them light and hope, and be everyone's favorite leader and savior, then there is only one person to which we can attribute this power to."
Inspiration is the factor that leads people to moving mountains, becoming greater, and changing our entire lives and everyone else and Dick is the one who bestows that power.
He literally inspires people to be better and inspires them to follow him and became the greatest they can be.
Teen Titans (2003) Issue #33
He just has the ability to inspire people to reach greater heights. The younger generation, his own, and the older ones kind of hero worship him.
Charisma is a dangerous power to have. It's essentially the unique ability to convince people to want to do things for you.
Examples of charismatic leaders are Martin Luther King Jr, Joan of Arc, Fidel Castro, and Napolean.
These people moved nations, worlds, societies but they are only one person. And Dick, has the ability to do this too.
To describe him as a person, to describe his charismatic authority, you need to combine all those figures into one person. And that's the equivalent of his power.
Because in the comics when he wants something - the whole superhero society answers.
The Titans (1999) Issue #39
On a separate note, Dick does have a high spice tolerance!
Batman and Robin (2009) Issue #1
Also Romani food is made hot and spicy, commonly using chili, paprika, and red and black pepper. So he can definitely handle the heat.
Lol I'm just imagining Dick absent-mindedly chewing on a red chili pepper while he watches Garth dare Wally to eat a ghost pepper while Donna's rolling her eyes and Roy's hyperventilating on the floor because he's having flashbacks to Ollie's Chilli.
#dick grayson#nightwing#bruce wayne#batman#konner kent#super boy#fun fact: GA's Chili is so spicy that Supes has to use his freeze breath. Batman and GA are the only two people in all of DC who can eat it#cl anon asks#thanks for the ask!
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I’m kinda a new fan had some questions. Are any of the members religious? I saw Gerard say god spoke in his head or something (I hear alot of Christians say this)
Regarding that whole thing does he hallucinate? I don’t mean to be rude I’m just wondering if he’s kinda schizophrenic. I really don’t mean to be rude.
Were they on drugs during the creation of black parade? Did they do drugs during the creative process at all? (Sorry to be weird)
Did Gerard write comics before the band? Was he successful? Did he actually work at CNN? Did he want to join military after 9/11 (I’ve heard him say he wanted to join in a tweet) ? Is there any pic of his art portfolio during college?
Did Mikey go to college?
hi! these arent weird questions. you just want to know what everyone else knows. im gonna answer your questions as best as i can from my own recollection. anyone can add if im wrong or forgot something. disclaimer, of course, there's a lot the public doesnt know so ill just be regurgitating What Is Known, and where you might have gotten these ideas. below the cut ->
"Are any of the members religious?"
the ways grew up catholic. Gerard has talked about his relationship with religion a few times. Most substantially this twitlonger in 2013 (from this tweet). i dont know if we know his Current Status. i feel like he talked about it in this 2019 podcast maybe. he def talks about his and his wife's relationship to "witchcraft" in there. In the second nj 2022 show he referred to bury me in black as a song from back in the "catholic days". whatever that means
frank used to go to catholic school. i think he no longer identifies with catholicism. i dont think we know what ray or mikey practice.
"I saw Gerard say god spoke in his head or something (I hear alot of Christians say this)"
he probably did say that, i just cant remember when. what i do remember is that he often talked about "hearing voices" (2014) and "being touched by god" (2007), particularly relating it to joan of arc.
"Regarding that whole thing does he hallucinate? I don’t mean to be rude I’m just wondering if he’s kinda schizophrenic."
so, he's never talked about any specific mental illnesses. he's only ever talked about symptoms. on purpose! there's this infamous tweet of his, "Labels: my therapist and I don't use them. I am chemically imbalanced, so I take medication to help with that. In fact-" "I don't use labels for anything. Using labels only gives others the leverage needed to categorize you or use you as a political tool." (2016 1, 2)
he talked about depression & mania. he's talked about "hearing voices" around the break up period, 2013-15. some attribute the paramour mansion hauntings to mental illness. it's vague
"Were they on drugs during the creation of black parade? Did they do drugs during the creative process at all?"
frank and gerard talked about doing drugs during the recording of three cheers in 2003 (2011, good discussion "After our grandmother died..." on). gerard went sober second half of 2004 and the band has talked about being sober around him in support. so i dont think they did any drugs while making black parade (which was when they were touring 2005 & in 2006). i think they've even said they smoked a lot of cigs because they couldnt do drugs.
frank has talked about his drug dependence during the black parade tour 2007-08 ish. mikey went sober around the break up. i dont think ray did drugs (in the last source, ray said, "I had no idea any of that stuff [drug use] was going on [in 2003]. I was so naïve.")
drinking & weed & cigs not withstanding
"Did Gerard write comics before the band? Was he successful?"
afaik gerard only worked on three published comics before umbrella academy in 2007.
1993 (age 16): "On Raven's Wings" (writer, 2 issues)
1998 (21): DC's "The Big Book of the Weird Wild West" (pencils & inks, page in 1 issue)
2000 (23): "Foot Soldiers" (writer, back up story in 1 issue)
"Did he actually work at CNN?"
he interred for CN (cartoon network) & pitched a cartoon to them that wasnt accepted.
"Did he want to join military after 9/11 (I’ve heard him say he wanted to join in a tweet)?
just the one time, he talked about considering joining the military at 23, which wouldve been 2000 (2014). he never talked about joining the army after 9/11
"Is there any pic of his art portfolio during college?"
i dont think there's photos of his portfolio anywhere. but there are photos of his college artwork. collected here and here.
"Did Mikey go to college?"
he did for a short bit! dropped out. only gerard & ray have degrees. i dont have any sources for the following info so im just going to give you want i remember. I THINK: mikey went to college to meet people to get in a band, met frank there, dropped out before mcr started, and worked for eyeball records.
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Random headcanons I made for HSS characters because they seem like they fit + I feel silly (these are very long and might go into essay length territory)(also ongoing as HSS is my obsession):
✧˚ Michael Harrison is a passenger princess. At least with my MC Solrin. I mean c'mon, he may have a car- but he's born to be on a motorcycle, he doesn't know how to drive a car for shit, he's the biggest passenger princess ever and my MC has a cute little pink tiara taped to the top of 'his' headrest, as a tease since he barely drives and always calls shotgun.
✧˚ Caleb likes to match clothes with his SO. Even if his SO is wearing the prettiest princess like dress or are wearing plaid with stripes with loafers on- he's matching them. Always. Even accessories, he just likes matching.
✧˚ Scott, the man, the legend, the dad himself- he is fucking loaded with cash. He is RICH. His train models are so good they bring in FARRR too much money to deal with. Hence why his daughter Solrin casually has a vintage 1963 dodge dart with customisation in 2018. HOWEVER, he likes to keep his daughter humble so they own a basic suburban house and he made his daughter get a job for her own money.
✧˚ Maria wakes up to cats on her every morning. Since she owns 2 cats now after adoption, they're heavily attached to her and sleep on her when it's bed time. Sometimes they do biscuits on her stomach and lay all their weight on her chest in the middle of the night which wakes her up because she can't breathe and also it's a weird sensation. She also definitely has cat hair on her socks sometimes.
✧˚ Aiden definitely sorts his clothing in his closet or clothes drawer via random things such as colour, texture, if it has print, and also what type of clothing it is. I just feel like he does, however he'll just throw his shoes in the fucking abyss when he gets home and will just know where it is. Which is why he hates it when his room gets cleaned because his shoes, despite being wherever, are usually always put in the same messy spot so he knows where it is- so when his room is cleaned he doesn't know where his bunny slippers are. #me
✧˚ Emma has a large pain tolerance but her tolerance with foods of weird textures and strong flavours are very low. She could break her leg and be fine, but if she has spicy octopus on her plate she's going to either cry or refuse to eat that shit at all. Which is a pain for Julia, but I mean Emma can't help it- some food is weird and she doesn't vibe with it. #me
✧˚ Michael is fucking terrified of thunder and lightning, to the point he quivers at seeing dark grey clouds. The loud sounds get to him, and he hates it. He has to cuddle his doggie Rollie in his bed and blast music through his headphones to get through them.
✧˚ Caleb takes it personally when he doesn't get to hug anybody. He's a cuddle bug, he loves his friends and his LI, so being denied a hug from anyone when they do something good like ace a test makes him sad.
✧˚ Sydney once stared at a kaleidoscope for an hour straight when she was in the nurses office because she hurt herself during cheer practice, and the school nurse didn't even need to do anything like talk to her or anything, other than patching her up, Sydney remained silent and staring at the glorious colourful light.
✧˚ Morgan was 'obsessed' with Joan Of Arc, Gretchen from Mean Girls, and most of the main girls in most kids shows in middle school, and this was before she knew what the term "Lesbian" meant.
✧˚ during freshmen year, Maria was obsessed with the business casual aesthetic so much, she wore full on blazers and button ups and looked super duper professional. Until everyone in her year had to remind her that this was freshmen year and she could dress up like a cat girl and no one would care.
#twstaddict17#choices hss#choices high school story#high school story#hss#og:hss#michael harrison#maria flores#emma hawkins#caleb mitchell#aiden zhou
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books read in 2024!
books read so far: 99/100
— gr: http://goodreads.com/cossettereads — sg: https://app.thestorygraph.com/profile/cossettereads
as always, askbox + dms are open if have any questions or would like to chat about books! 🤍
⊹ indicates any (new) favorites of the month! previous months are under the cut!
november ⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ
1) shoot your shot by lexi lafleur brown (arc)
january ⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚
1) beach read by emily henry (reread) 2) on palestine by noam chomsky & ilan pappé 3) valley verified by kyla zhao (gifted) 4) the wind at my back: resilience, grace, and other gifts from my mentor, raven wilkinson by misty copeland & susan fales-hill (gifted) 5) check please: year one by ngozi ukazu (reread) 6) check please: year two by ngozi ukazu (reread) 7) check please: year three by ngozi ukazu (reread) 8) check please: year four by ngozi ukazu (reread) 9) raiders of the lost heart by jo segura (gifted) 10) the frame-up by gwenda bond (arc) 11) everything i never told you by celeste ng ⊹ 12) forgive me not by jennifer baker (gifted) 13) ever after always by chloe liese (gifted) 14) the summer of bitter and sweet by jen ferguson (gifted) 15) the lily of ludgate hill by mimi matthews (gifted) 16) last call at the local by sarah grunder ruiz (gifted) ⊹ 17) the sun and the void by gabriela romero-lacruz (gifted) 18) a line in the dark by malinda lo (gifted) 19) biting the hand: growing up asian in black and white america by julia lee (gifted) 20) play it as it lays by joan didion
february ⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚
1) mister hockey by lia riley * 2) collide by bal khabra (arc) * 3) a curious beginning by deanna raybourn (gifted) 4) breaking the ice by k.r. collins * 5) if only you by chloe liese (gifted) * 6) anxious people by frederik backman ⊹ 7) the catch by amy lea (gifted) 8) weekends with you by alexandra paige (arc) 9) happily never after by lynn painter (arc) 10) klara and the sun by kazuo ishiguro 11) good material by dolly alderton 12) in the event this doesn't fall apart by shannon lee barry 13) the night ends with fire (arc) by k.x. song 14) the good, the bad, and the aunties (arc) by jesse q. sutanto 15) where sleeping girls lie (arc) by faridah àbíké-íyímídé 16) sophomore surge by k.r. collins * 17) lighting the lamp by k.r. collins * 18) glove save and a beauty by k.r. collins * 19) home ice advantage by k.r. collins * 20) power play by k.r. collins * 21) grounded by k.r. collins * 22) line chemistry by k.r. collins *
march ⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚
1) happy medium by sarah adler (arc) 2) a darker shade of magic by v.e. schwab (audiobook) 3) expiration dates by rebecca serle (arc) 4) divine rivals by rebecca ross (book club) 5) the siren by katherine st. john (gifted) 6) light in gaza edited by jehad abusalim 7) how to end a love story by yulin kuang (arc) // reviewed here 8) rising from the deep: the seattle kraken, a tenacious push for expansion, and the emerald city's sports revival by geoff baker 9) les misérables by victor hugo (reread)
april ⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚
1) the goodbye cat by hiro arikawa (reread) 2) the traveling cat chronicles by hiro arikawa (reread) 3) this is me trying by racquel marie (arc) 4) kill her twice by stacey lee (arc) 5) the pairing by casey mcquiston (arc) 6) swiped by l.m. chilton (arc) 7) lies and weddings by kevin kwan (arc) 8) the odyssey by homer (audiobook)
may ⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚
1) this summer will be different by carley fortune (arc) 2) the viscount who loved me by julia quinn (reread) 3) romancing mister bridgerton by julia quinn (reread) 4) the iliad by homer (narrated by audra mcdonald) (audiobook) 5) a novel love story by ashley poston (arc) 6) when he was wicked by julia quinn (reread) 7) a banh mi for two by trinity nguyen (arc) 8) the secret garden by frances hodgson burnett (audiobook)
june ⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ
1) lessons in chemistry by bonnie garmus 2) the phantom of the opera by gaston leroux (audiobook) 3) you, with a view by jessica joyce 4) s. by j.j. abrams & doug dorst 5) the hunchback of the notre dame (audiobook) A
july ⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ
1) firekeeper's daughter by angeline boulley (audiobook) ⊹ 2) born to run by bruce springsteen (audiobook) 3) it had to be you by eliza jane brazier 4) the great gatsby by f. scott fitzgerald (reread; annotated) 5) death on the nile by agatha christie (audiobook) 6) blue sisters by coco mellors (arc) ⊹ 7) juniper and thorn by ava reid (audiobook) 8) the villain edit by laurie devore ⊹
august ⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ
1) a study in drowning by ava reid (audiobook) 2) just for the summer by abby jimenez 3) the match by sarah adams (audiobook)
september ⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ
1) the glitch by leeanne slade (audiobook) 2) howl’s moving castle by diana wynne jones (traveling book club; annotated) 3) how to kill your family by bella mackie (audiobook) 4) everyone i kissed since you got famous by mae marvel (audiobook) 5) blue sisters by coco mellors (reread, annotation) 6) mott street: a chinese american family's story of exclusion and homecoming by ava chin ⊹ 7) confronting the racist legacy of the american child welfare system: the case for abolition by alan j. dettlaff 8) jane eyre by charlotte brontë
october ⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ
1) anne of green gables by l.m. montgomery 2) intermezzo by sally rooney 3) razzle dazzle: the battle for broadway by michael riedel 4) designing broadway: how derek mclane and other acclaimed set designers create the visual world of theatre by derek mclane and eila mell 5) summer in the city by alex aster (arc) 6) rebecca by daphne du maurier (audiobook) ⊹
#post: 2024 reading thread#i love starting the year out with a reread of a favorite! takes the pressure off <3#and since allison started reading beach read last night i decided to join her!!!
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I just had a random thought about this but Morpheus and a love confession to his s/o in the rain after they left the dreaming after figuring out about his past lovers and thinking they aren’t good enough because they’re a mortal/because they think he still loves them
Not Enough
Dream of the Endless x Reader + Corinthian x Reader
Summary: Corinthian is your new drinking mate (debatable), and you air out your frustrations to a hallucination of Dream... except he's actually standing outside your apartment in the pouring rain.
Word Count: 1k+
Warnings: Mentions/depictions of drinking/drunkenness, gender neutral!reader, exasperated "i am not your therapist"!corinthian, little mix enthusiast!reader, angst, fluff, typos, etc.
A/N: OK LISTEN UP this is ig a p3 continuation of "Beer" (part one being "Thorn At My Side") but also, you don't have to read it to understand. I'm also tagging everyone from p1 and 2 who commented just cuz 🫶🫶 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @pinksirensong @lexi-anastasia @aralezinspace @emy635 @libra207 @secretdreamlandmentality @deniixlovezelda @shadow-pancake9 @laraackerman @reallystressedhoneybee @farintonorth @shining-yuu @ellooo0ooo also i love how dream looks like he's about to cry in the gif T_T HAHAHAHAHHHA i think deserve
Corinthian alternated between patting my back and holding me back from dancing on the table, which was honestly such an old man move on his part.
"Hey google," I call, "play No More Sad Songs by Little Mix."
"No," Corinthian retorts, "google no," he grabs the back of my shirt, "I am not listening to another sappy sad song."
I turn to him from over my shoulder, giving him a stink eye, "it's not a sappy sad song, grandpa," I wrangle out of his grip, "it's a good-bye-peace-out anthem."
Corinthian's grip does not relent. He pulls me back down to my seat, "I don't care."
I sit with a thud, though I continue my attempts to free myself from him.
The blonde pulls his hand back eventually, in lieu of grabbing his cup of gin.
"Hey google--"
"Stop."
"--play Joan of Arc by Little Mix."
"No google, don't."
Much to his distaste, Joan of Arc starts playing and I make my way off my chair, onto my tiny, dining room table.
Corinthian shakes his head, crossing his arms, "fine, it's not like I care if you die. At least then, I get to eat your eyes after you break your neck."
"What was that? I can't hear you over this power anthem," I call as I sway my hips to the beat.
The nightmare does nothing, as he can do nothing, but watch as I jam to my jam. Before I can even get to the chorus though, because of my rugged motions, my foot slips. Corinthian, in all his strength and speed, manages to catch me before I break my bones and my table along with me.
He grunts on impact and then yanks me down, "ok, now, I'm fucking pissed."
I yelp when he twists and hangs me on his shoulders. He carries me off the table and drops me in front of my couch. His shades droop a bit down his nose as he bends down in front of me, pointing a finger to my face, "don't fucking move."
I definitely don't fucking move and stand there still like a statue, resisting the urge to dance along to the song.
A few moments later though...
"Hey google,"
"SHUT UP!"
I purse my lips tightly, watching Corinthian as he turns to me from over his shoulder. When he goes back to cleaning my mess (it only dawned on me that I had most probably kicked some empty glass bottles, which then broke on the floor) I count one to ten before speaking again.
"HEYGOOGLEPLAYBOYBYLITTLEMIX!"
"STOP!"
Boy by Little Mix plays against his will.
The next thing I know, I'm latched onto the tall man's back like a backpack one move away from snapping. I'm begging him not to leave, "CORI, DON'T LEAVE ME, PLEASE, YOU'RE ALL I HAVE!"
He grunts, shaking me off as he makes his way to the door, "it's not hard to understand why."
"PLEASE, IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU HAVE BAD MUSIC TASTE."
Corinthian grumbles something under his breath and grabs my arms, forcing them off.
"Pleaseeeeeeee," I sob as I crumple to the floor like a discarded tissue.
He already made it to my door, but stopped himself when he spared a look before leave. He sighs at the fact I was felled like a disney princess, "get up."
"No."
He opens the door, "fine, I'll gladly leave you like that."
"NO WAIT!" I scramble to my feet. I sniffle and wipe my face with my wrist. His face scrunches at the sight of me, "you're so dramatic."
"And you're not?"
"At least I have class when I do it."
"I so too have class!"
He adjusts his glasses, "if that's what it takes to make feel better"
I give him a scowl. He returns it with a grin. Corinthian takes one step forward, wiping my cheek with the back of his hand, "your tears are wasted on him. Trust me."
With that, he pulls back and leaves.
I release a sigh, watching as the door shuts. I then run up to my window. I knit my brows at the sight of the grey clouds and the slight rain that begins to drizzle. I open my window and stick my head out, looking to the entrance of my apartment, waiting for Corinthian to come out.
When he does, I call out to him. He cranes his neck up at the sky upon feeling the rain. He loosens his coat and covers his head with it as he turns to me.
"Do you want to give you an umbrella?" I call out, placing a hand by my mouth.
"WHAT?"
"DO YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU AN UMBRELLA?"
"NO!" he calls back, "I DONT WANT A REASON TO COME BACK TO YOU."
My nostrils flare, "IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE THE TYPE TO RETURN THINGS!"
I see Corinthian smile, "GET INSIDE, KID. I WON'T CATCH YOU IF YOU FALL!"
I roll my eyes but wave him a goodbye, "WALK SAFE, CORI!"
He begins to walk off.
I cannot resist the urge, "LOVE YOU!"
Upon hearing that, he laughs to himself, "idiot's telling me to walk safe?"
I, in fact, don't go inside even after being told to. For some reason, the sight of the rain made me feel warm, in all its irony. It made me think of memories where I would be eating something warm under the covers, or how I used to play in the rain when I was younger.
I reach my hand out to feel the much heavier drops.
I think about how Corinthian must be dripping wet right now.
I withdraw my hand.
I then think about how he said my tears are wasted. I wonder if he ever cried over Dream too.
Just then, I look down to the street and see a ghost of a man, Dream, looking up at me, dripping wet in the pouring rain.
I chuckle at the sight of it. I prop my elbow on the sill and my head on my hand. It would have been funny if he was actually here, ready to confess and apologize to me like in the movies. I can hear him in my head-
"I'm sorry," he says, face wet with rain water that secretly had tears mixed with them, "it took your absence for me to realize that I do, in fact, value your presence."
I frown at my script, "that's so cheesy. The Dream I know would never say that."
"I would-- I am saying it. I mean it."
I blink at the man in the trench coat, shaking my head as I continue my internal monologue, "Dream doesn't like me. I'm a stupid mortal in his eyes, and yeah, sure, I may not know trigonometry to a tee, I may not posses a fraction of the wisdom he has, but that doesn't mean I'm dumb... that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt that he thinks I am."
Dream blinks rain water out of his eyes.
"And I'm pretty sure he's not over his ex," I mumble under my breath, "he went through a lot of trouble for her recently and, good lord, Lucienne told me she was one of the muses," I run my hands down the side of my face, "how do you even compete with that? Why even bother? I mean, I would drop everything and go back to my ex if they were damn muses too."
"There is no truth to that," Dream calls, "there is no competition."
I knit my brows as I look down upon him, "you're supposed to be nice. You're the ideation of Dream at the back of my head."
"I am real!" he calls, raising his hands, "I am Dream of the Endless and you have been drinking with my nightmare again!"
I sigh, pressing my lips together, "yeah, this is enough self vs self for today."
I pull back and close my window. I let out another huff as I turn around. My ghost nearly leaves me when I come face to face with a dripping wet Dream of the Endless in the middle of my apartment.
I clutch my hands to my chest as he looks at me, muttering softly, "I am real."
I raise my brows at him as I feel myself realize he was in fact real, as he just said. It takes a moment for me to calm down.
Water pools beneath his figure. I take in the sight of his dripping clothes. In this moment, I realize, not only was he making a mess, he was wearing shoes inside my house!
Because of this, I do not hesitate. I walk up to him and place my hands on his shoulders, "get out."
I nearly falter when he calls out my name the way he does.
"You're wearing shoes in my house and you're leaving a trail of water behind. I am not dealing with this."
Dream is helpless as I push him out of my door. I give him one last stern look before closing the door to his face.
I turn on my heels to grab something to wipe the mess, but I freeze when I hear what I do.
"I meant every word I said," he calls from the outside.
I deflate. My eyes trail to the puddle and water trail leading out my door. Sobriety begins to pound at me like a sledge hammer. I groan as I rip my hands through my hair, "not now, Dream..." I sigh, "I'm not ready to have this conversation now."
For a moment, when he doesn't respond, I have myself thinking maybe he already left. This was why I was surprised when I suddenly heard a voice beyond the door again.
"I will wait until you are ready," he replies, "you need only call my name."
#corinthian fanfic#corinthian x reader#corinthian x you#corinthian fluff#corinthian angst#dream of the endless#dream of the endless fanfic#the sandman fanfic#the sandman x reader#the sandman x you#dream x you#dream fanfic#dream of the endless x reader#dream of the endless x you#morpheus x reader#morpheus x you#the sandman angst#dream of the endless angst#morpheus angst#dream angst
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ch season 2 opinions
design::
i don't like the new characters' color schemes other than frida. i think the colors work well with her and her character.
confucius' character was wasted, i wish he had more screen time with jfk other than the keyboard warriors scene, plus his bright colors make me want to scream:(
HARRIET TUBMAN'S DESIGN DRIVES ME CRAZY. i understand the whole "ohh her old design wasn't important and the only scene she had was a canceled test scene" stuff but like i wish they'd kept it. she looks like a highlighter to me and i wish they'd given her SOMETHING to make her look more like harriet, maybe the old hair design. she could be any black historical female figure and it wouldn't be surprising.
the new principal girl is fine, idrc about her that much. she isn't too out there but i also think it's really stupid they made her related to joan it just seems like a way for them to get her more screen time
*gulp* ships::
they ruined joanfk, joan didnt act anything like the sarcastic gothy teen she used to be, she was obsessed with being popular and looking cool (ex. cleocoming), and jfk only made sex jokes. no war puns, no funny magic man-esque one liners, nothing. plus he became super clingy and just not the jock he used to be. the whole reason they worked was because they felt open with each other and told each other everything, but in the reboot they hide all sorts of stuff from each other.
i hate harriet and jfk. they should've used that time to develop frida and cleo, who are
the most random ship ever. cleo gave me such homophobic vibes in the first season and to see her date another woman with NO ARC is terrible. she AT LEAST couldve had a "i can date girls?" gag. but no, nothing. it feels so cash grabby and shallow.
i have no sentimental attachment to harriet and confucius, so them dating meant nothing to me. it felt like watching two random people make out: weird, strangely random, and confusing.
it's so scudworth coded to have him in love with a woman that wants him dead.
plot::
cleo had no important points except for cleocoming where she didnt even act like herself. i assume this was to hide the fact that she got a brand new voice actor, but i think she's doing fine. the script is the issue. she's no longer manipulative. she's just mean. the old cleo would've thrown the blood pumpkin rumor right back in joan's face.
the "clone leader test" plot sucked. should've made another cloney island plotline.
booo topher i hate him
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06/30/2023
JUNE OF ARC concludes in a harrowing finale!
I really enjoyed drawing St. Joan of Arc cartoons this month, so thank you all for humoring me!
If you enjoyed them too, maybe we'll do it again next year. We've only scratched the surface of her amazing story!
___
JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. Camp-followers were women who followed armies around to make money off the soldiers when they stopped for the day. They were prostitutes with bad prosti-'tudes, man. Other people might follow the camps for good reasons (like cooks and priests), but not these ladies. 2. This cartoon is based on witness testimonies from those closest to Joan. According to them, her response to camp-followers was absolute. She kicked out any harlots she found, sometimes with gentle admonitions, and other times with the flat of her sword. 3. I've heard some people question Joan by saying, "She's not very Christian. Jesus WELCOMED prostitutes." Yes, Jesus welcomed prostitutes. REPENTANT prostitutes, who He forgave and then told, "Go and sin no more." He had a very different reaction to the money-changers in the temple. They disrespected His Father's presence, so He chased them off with a homemade whip. Joan's mission was to guide her army in God's Name. She worked hard to make her men go to Mass, receive the sacraments, and adopt behavior befitting servants of God. Like the money-changers, the prostitutes mocked God's presence by their actions and intentions. So, like Jesus, Joan drove them out. Her only fault was not knowing how to fashion a whip of her own, to make the parallel more plain for her SLANDEROUS, PULING critics! 4. "This is a wholesome Christian war-camp!" is a play on the well-aged meme of Christian Minecraft servers, where you can't swear or post naughty things. 5. "I'll make you marry the next man I find you with!" is an actual threat Joan used, according to one witness during her Rehabilitation Trial. 6. "Walloping" is a good word. Catch me outside. 7. I like drawing Joan and La Hire next to each other because she's so tiny.
#joan#st joan#joan of arc#st joan of arc#jeanne darc#st jeanne darc#catholic#christian#medieval#france#armagnac#orleans#wholesome#cartoon#comic#catholic memes#christian memes#catholic humor#christian humor#la hire#wholesome christian war camp
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Early Wizard School Mysteries Concept Art Pt. 1: 2017 & 2018
Wizard School Mysteries Book 3: Wicked Witchcraft has been available for purchase in paperback and kindle editions for about a week now, and to do my due diligence as this series' author, editor, and marketing executive, I've gotta make a post about it to annoy you all with so that maybe more people read it and build up a bigger audience for the next one.
So! To accomplish that in a way I find palatable, I've dug up some very old concept art for the series, and am going to parade it out for your enjoyment! Come, look upon my old art and despair be inspired to buy my books!
We're going to start with the earliest sketches I could find, which is from 2017. I kind of adore how ridiculously enormous I made James's hat in this early sketch - it's so huge that he actually has a strap to keep it on his head (look close, you can see it!). His design has a lot of touches from Wizardmon that didn't make it to the final product, namely the abundance of stitches and false faces on his outfit. He's also got a sort of ascot which I'm pretty sure is an homage to Fred from Scooby Doo, because he's in the same role as Fred in our Mystery Solving Teens group. Jesus, that's a big hat.
2017 Ivan doesn't seem too different on a surface glance, though his outfit feels too clean/new to me. It looks nice, but doesn't convey a lot of his character to me.
Ew, 2017 Gretchen, why are you white? Well, ok, the clear answer is because you're just Wizard Velma Dinkley at this point, but hey, at least you've got your iconic scarf!
Jesus Crumbs, I really did not give my human characters enough skull above the eyes to contain a proper brain, did I? A lot of Margot's key visuals are still present here - the gauntlet, the high collar, the partially armored boots - but just, you know, a bit worse, a bit less uniquely designed. She's called Joan at this point because hey, it's from 2017, when the author who everyone associated with wizard schools whose first name happens to be Joanne hadn't gone fully mask off about being a TERF yet, and I could name a wizard character I like "Joan" without worrying that people might think it's a reference to said writer (when it was intended as a reference to Joan of Arc instead).
2017 Rodrigo is pretty recognizable, actually. Kinda weird to me that I had his look pinned down so early compared to the others - though his staff here definitely doesn't fit his status as the most well-off wizard of the bunch, so I can see why I changed it to something more sleek later.
By contrast, 2017 Serena is basically a completely different character on every level. No magical girl trappings, no pigtails, I don't think she was even Asian yet. The name "Cerrigwen" had been given to at least one other character I ended up scrapping for a different project before this, and I'd thought I found a home for it here, but obviously not (though a Cerrigwen did get mentioned as a historical important wizard in WSM Book 2, so maybe I'll find a story for her eventually). Serena's role in the Mystery Solving Teens dynamic is "the weird one," but for whatever reason I wrote "the Joy and the Laughter" here instead. I do think Serena's personality is shining from this design, even if none of the actual details are recognizable - the manic bubbliness here would carry on in all future designs.
Charlotte also looks recognizable at first glance, and I think in some ways she's more explicitly monstrous/nonhuman here. I don't know if that's to her benefit, though? The gangly limbs feel very awkward, like they don't quite fit her frame, and her face is a bit too inexpressive (also holy shit that hat is hilariously too small, it's the opposite of 2017 James's hat). I like the hairy feet and fingers, but it does kinda bog down her design with unnecessary detail.
Holy Christ 2017 Polybeus, you're a fucking nightmare. What's going on with your face? And why are you so skinny? Why are all these people so goddamn skinny?
Let's move to the next year, I don't like looking at this guy. He looks like he'd be voiced by Pauly Shore or Andy Dick. Awful.
2018 James takes the 2017 design and refines it a bit - still has the ascot, has even MORE Wizardmon style false faces and stitches, still has the enormous hat, just all tightened up a bit. I think the problem with this look comes through when comparing the polished design with the sketches I abandoned halfway through above it - namely, the freaky Wizardmon look just doesn't fit with the quiet, deep-thinking personality James is supposed to exude. It looks rad as hell, yes, but it's flashy and chaotic in an attention-claiming way, which doesn't fit James's analytical nature. Good design elements that just didn't fit the character they were slapped onto.
2018 Ivan is also a refinement of his 2017 self, and I like his wacky little pose here - it really communicates his accident prone nature. But he still feels too polished, the outfit can be pushed farther.
Gretchen's looking a bit more like herself now - she's got more layers draping over her body, longer hair to cover her face, and the little tassels on the end of her scarf. Is she still white, or was I just a coward who thought I could just give her a dark skin tone while still drawing her with a straight bob cut and call it good? Not sure.
Margot's getting closer to her current self too - slightly longer face and nose, a bun where her pony tail will eventually go, and I think she's got broader shoulders than her first design? The gauntlet still doesn't feel like it's got the right personality but it's a bit more unique than the first take, and that's progress.
The only big differences I see with 2018 Rodrigo and his current self - beyond the fact that I got better at drawing humans (still not enough room in this drawing's cranium for a human brain) - is that I kinda toned him down from here. This Rodrigo's more or less his current self, but more flamboyant.
Alright, Serena's definitely Asian here, and her costume feels more distinct than her 2017 self, but still doesn't really match her personality. I definitely wanted her outfit to showcase her energetic nature, but the big bulky layers just don't fit. She needs bows and ribbons!
Ok, Charlotte's coming together better too! Still a bit too awkardly gangly, but her face is getting that sweet, friendly look a bit better.
oh thank god
2018 Polybeus is such an upgrade. His outfit's pretty close to what he'd end with, and he's beginning to get that onion-esque hairdo his modern self has, although here it's a bit more like devil horns, befitting his status as an antagonist-turned-ally. Still too thin, though, you gotta start weight training Poly!
That's it for part 1! Next we're skipping to 2020, because for whatever reason I don't have any sketches from 2019.
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boygenius, Not Strong Enough // Alice Oseman, I Was Born For This // Joan of Arc, as cited by Alice Oseman in I Was Born For This
[ID below the cut]
Image 1: Lyrics that read "Black hole opened in the kitchen / Every clock's a different time / It would only take the energy to fix it / I don't know why I am"
Image 2: A quote that reads: "I don't know who I am. Everything I do feels like a lie. I wake up every day and I have to be Jimmy Kaga-Ricci, this famous guy, and I have to smile at the camera and say hi to people but... I don't even know who I am underneath that."
Image 3: A quote that reads: "it is true that i wished to escape; and so i wish still; is nor this lawful for all prisoners?"
Image 4: Lyrics that read: "The way I am / Not strong enough to be your man / I tried, I can't / Stop staring at the ceiling fan and / Spinning out about things that haven't happened / Breathing in and out
Image 5: A quote that reads: "And then we are turning away, and walking behind the curtain and my smile can drop and once we're totally out of sight Rowan is squeezing my hand but I'm gone, I'm already gone, I'm up above the three of us and gazing down at the three bodies and wondering who on Earth decided that these three pathetically flawed human beings deserved so much worship."
Image 6: A quote that reads "hold the crucifix up before my eyes so i may see it until i die."
Image 7: Lyrics that read: "The way I am / Not strong enough to be your man / I lied, I am / Just lowering your expectations / Half a mind that keeps the other second-guessing / Close my eyes and count
Image 8: "A quote that reads: "Everywhere I go, everything I do... I'm lying. I'm pretending. And everyone's watching me... waiting for me to get it wrong."
Image 9: Lyrics that read: "Always and angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god"
Image 10: A quote that reads: "He's my favourite. Jimmy Kaga-Ricci. I wouldn't say I was attracted to him, to any of them, really. That's not what this is about. But God, if anyone's the angel around here, it's him."
Image 11: Lyrics that read: "I don't know why I am the way I am / There's something in the static / I think I've been having revelations / Coming to in the front seat, nearly empty / Skip the exit and go home / Go home alone"
Image 12: A quote that reads: "Home?' 'I want to go home.' 'Like... like your apartment?' 'No,' I say. 'Home. My actual home. Where I grew up.'
Image 13: A quote that reads: "i was in my thirteenth year when i heard a voice from god"
#me obsessively listening to boygenius coinciding with the iwbftreread was just perfect#hope this makes any sense lmao#if it doesn't i can totally passionately ranble about it dw#iwbft#i was born for this#osemanverse#boygenius#noah's stuff
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