#he's kind of a dick

[draganwhorror]

Bruce Campbell as Ray - Lunatics: A Love Story (1991)

[nightwingshero]

WIP Wednesday

I was tagged by @simonxriley @inafieldofdaisies @direwombat and @socially-awkward-skeleton! Thank you, lovelies!!!

Tagging: @detectivelokis @jinfromyarikawa @sstewyhosseini @baldurrs @marivenah @water-writings @oathofoaksart @playstationmademe @ri-a-rose @voidika @aceghosts @deputyash @shegetsburned @ghastlyrider @strafethesesinners @madparadoxum and anyone else who would like to share!!!

Just more RE stuff because why not? I need to work on prompts, but instead I’m trying to write a fic without planning and figuring out the details of my ocs and their canon. I like to get ahead of myself. This is also the first time I’ve ever written for Wren’s father, which is an experience all on its own, and I think one of the things I like about this is that we get to see it like this instead of just random flashbacks that I have planned for her fc5 fic. I’ll stop talking now. 

To say it was awkward was an understatement of the century, which was saying something considering the century was close to ending. Silence wasn’t something that made me uncomfortable, I enjoyed silence—my thoughts weren’t always too horrid to be alone with. Silence with him, however, was intolerable. The ambient noise of the typical hustle and bustle of the people around us seemed to only make it worse, as if it was purposefully pointing out the lack of conversation, as if it was mocking me and enjoying the fact that we had sat here for about fifteen minutes and barely uttered a word.

He glanced at me as he took a bit of his breakfast, watching as I moved my own meal around with my fork, watching the yolk spill and soak into the toast and hashbrowns on my plate. “You come all the way back here claiming you want to talk and get food, and you do none of those things. If you wanted to waste my damn time, you shoulda just said it.”

My fork stopped as I watched him shove another piece of steak and egg in his mouth, fighting to keep the cringe from my face. “You really shouldn’t be eating that.” Finally he leaned back, mouth still chewing, as his dark, cold blue eyes looked over me. I couldn’t help the way I wanted to squirm under his scrutiny. Every flaw became apparent under his judging gaze. Its good to see nothing changed.

“I’ll eat whatever the hell I want.” My dad replied before stabbing at his plate for more, the metal screaming against the plate, making me flinch. “Tired of bein’ told what to do. By you and by that damn chief. Force me into retirement, my fucking ass. They’re gonna replace me with some fuckin’ rookie. Believe that? What type of experience does some kid got over me?” His deep voice has gotten rougher over the years, just as much as he’s gotten more bitter. “Irons says it would be good for my health, we’ve been working together for years. He can shove it up his ass.”

Stephen Blake was a man to be reckoned with and that was how I knew him growing up. Not a doting father, not someone that would protect me and cherish me because I was his little girl—his only child—but a force of nature that I needed to weather until it was safe for me to run. And I had. He wasn’t a good man or a good father, but in the grand scheme of things, it could have been far worse. But that didn’t change the fact that neither of us had anyone else left, didn’t change the fact that I was the only one that could, or would, ever be able to take care of the things that were beginning to pop up. Like the current issue at hand.

“Marvin said—”

“So you think that because he said somethin’ to you, its true? You come all this way from your ivory tower because some fucking stranger says one thing. Maybe if you woulda stuck around, you’d fucking know better.”

He wasn’t over me running when I had the first chance. The fight had been roughly three years ago and he was still stewing in his rage over the fact that I chose a different life path. Sitting in front of him, I knew that there would be no forgiveness in the future, but that didn’t change what I had shown up for, it didn’t change what I had to do. “He said you’ve been coughing up blood for months. Sounds like they didn’t have a choice but to retire. It was that or what? Being let go due to not being able to do your job? I guess Chief Irons did you a favor.”

“Lying fucking prick, has his hands in too many fucking pockets. Piece of shit, loyalty is worth more than that.” Tossing his fork down he pointed at me and sneered, the wrinkles on his face deepening. “You fuckin’ remember that, you hear? Can’t tell how many times I’ve repeated myself, but you don’t fuckin’ listen.” He just shook his head in disappointment, the flickering lights on the bald part of his head reflecting there. “Some rookie cop is gonna take my place in this fuckin’ city and he’s gonna get a proper fuckin’ Raccoon City welcome while I get kicked out on my ass.”

“You need to go get the tests done we talked about.” I sighed, finally bringing us back to the reason I had traveled so far to meet him. “I have an appointment for you at the hospital.”

[a-heart-of-kyber]

Not my eye twitching in rage at people using labour for Kaz and Inej as if Kaz didn't do everything he could for her in his own way and never made her do anything against her will. He Told Her life with him would be shitty and that's still what she chose. He didn’t even make her, he didn’t make any of them, come on the heist like wtf.

[blackbatest]

my most controversial batman opinion to date

[calebisprobablystoned]

somebody pissed off zeus

[puppppppppy]

Bridge to turnabout doodles

[haveihitanerve]

I love how people are like Jason Todd was a demon child and all the other robins were angels compared to him like lmao robin!Jason was a fucking delight what do you mean

Dick showed up at the manor with a blue stuffed animal elephant and the rage of 100 men and the only thing thats changed is that the elephant is grey now

Tim showed up with blackmail on the fucking Batman and bullied him into accepting him as robin

Damian popped up on the doorstep holding a fucking katanna

Meanwhile robin!jason was jumping from building to building squealing robin magic! and would spontaneously hug Batman. he loved reading shakepeare knowledge and literally screamed golly jee willickers as the highest curse word in his vocabulary.

Robin!Jason was a goddamned fucking delight and all the other ones were the little demon children lmaooo

[tossawary]

This is petty fandom salt, BUT... I've been chewing on this phenomenon that I've been calling "Fandom's Darling". It is related to things like "Author's Darling" and "Mary Sue / Gary Stu" and "Protagonist Halo" and all that jazz, where one character gains a peculiar narrative weight in a story.

"Author's Darling" is when a writer has a favorite character, and the world and all other characters sort of get... warped to put the Darling in the spotlight. It's most noticeable in TV shows with multiple writers, when a character you personally like suddenly has their previous characterization destroyed to make another character look good somehow. Every other character might become weirdly incompetent. The Darling's feelings are treated as The Most Important Feelings in any given situation. The logic of the fictional world seems broken past suspension of disbelief in order to validate this one character's beliefs or skillset or some other fantasy. And so on.

"Fandom's Darling" is what I've been calling the pattern where a fandom essentially crowns a New Protagonist for their fanfiction stories (it's often a side character rather than the original protagonist, but it can also happen to protagonists). This character becomes the self-insert for all sorts of indulgent fantasies, gaining special powers or backstories, and/or becoming the focus of extreme whump, and/or hooking up with all the various hotties, starring in all sorts of tropey AUs, and so on. They're not always an obvious Mary Sue version of themselves, but the character's original personality and interpersonal relationships tend to get warped or dropped completely, and other characters tend to become a little flat around them. I call it "Fandom's Darling" because it's not just one self-indulgent fantasy fic (you do you! Have fun!) with characterization choices that I don't vibe with (I have neither the time nor the desire nor the authority to police anything, I am just venting), but rather a prolific mini-fandom of sorts revolving around this empty doll / fanon version of the chosen vessel character, so it becomes a little unavoidable.

I am salty about this (mildly frustrated) (imagine a soft sigh of disappointment before I just go do something else) because you are FUCKED if you actually liked the canonical version of this character and their interpersonal relationships. It's almost worse than liking an obscure character that no one cares about. There's about a thousand fics starring your fave, but maybe only about a dozen of them are actually rooted in any kind of recognisable canon.

[littlefankingdom]

Bruce died(?) again

Jason: Well, it's my turn.

Dick: What are you talking about?

Jason: Everytime Bruce is gone, one of you starts to act just like him, pushing everyone away, acting as only you can be right, and fighting anyone that gets in your way. Dick did it, Tim did it, even Cass kind of did it. So, this time, I will do it.

Tim: Isn't that how you act all the time?

Jason: Whoa, fuck you. You are so banned from historical drama movie nights.

[ochibrochi]

this was funnier in my head

[justsomestuffreally]

I think the Batkids reaction to a Bruce who isn't de-aged to 8 but rather 29 (pre-Jason death, post his adoption) would be fascinating. 

Their reaction would vary wildly:

Dick: Oh. Bruce is soft again. Bruce calls them ‘chum’ and ‘buddy’ and gives head pats for no reason. He still isn’t perfect, his communication skills are still a work in progress, but compared to his future self? Without actively dying Dick is hugged plenty. Bruce asks him to go to the zoo, unrelated to any case, just to spend time together. Dick is hit with more nostalgia and longing for the past than he knows what to do with.

Also notable: his dad is younger than him. That is something. Second, holy existential crisis Batman, his dad is younger than him and already one adult and one teenage kid??? Dick is not ready to feel this old yet. Third, Dick has absolutely no idea how Bruce managed to stay patient through his no-pants years. He is going to thank reason every day from now on that Damian wears full protection.

Jason: After his death and League he clung to an image of Bruce. One many tried to beat out of him, but he still kept it somewhere close to his heart, buried deep enough even he couldn’t see it. When he came back Bruce wasn’t like this idea of him. How stupid of him to believe the mind of a traumatized kid. Trying to create one good thing before the kid drew his last breath. Making up memories that never even existed.

But they did. Every smile and hug and even his words reflect the image tugged safely against his still-beating heart. His dad very clearly, very deeply loves him. Which is so much worse. Because he can understand why a Bruce, who never cared, didn’t kill the Joker. But he cares. So why the fuck did he not kill the Joker?

Tim: The reason he joined the family, the reason why he became Robin in the first place was because he saw a problem when Bruce started self-destructing and thought ‘Someone needs to fix that!’. Therefore he went and collected Dick, who didn’t seem keen on fixing it. So, the job fell to him to fix it.

He thought he did a good job, he thought he fixed the problem. Except now he sees who Bruce was, and he knows he failed. Their Bruce is less soft, less affectionate, less like he was before. Batman needs a Robin and Tim didn’t manage to be good enough of one to save him. 

[Or: Tim has a guilt complex a hundred miles wide and blames himself for things that aren’t his fault part 52]

Steph: Jason and she are very similar. Both come from the Narrows, both have a mother addicted to drugs and a shitty father. The differences start when Steph keeps waiting on the roof of their apartment for Batman to whisk her away, while Jason tries to steal the tires of the Batmobile and is taken in.

When Steph started out as Spoiler Bruce tried to keep her off the field, and obviously this one would too (even if he would probably be less paranoid about it), but she knows this Bruce would have also taken her in. This Bruce would be the father she always wished for when she sat on their roof and couldn’t see any stars. 

And she didn’t get to have this because Jason went ahead and died. (Of course, she knows she isn’t fair to the guy. Dying isn’t fun… And she knows the only reason she lived is because he died. When Batman rescued her from Black Mask she was in such terrible shape that Leslie managed to convince the World’s Greatest Detective that she died. If Jason hadn’t died Bruce wouldn’t have been as paranoid, wouldn’t have noticed her missing so soon, wouldn’t have been as urgent in his response. Would have been just a minute slower, a minute which would have killed her. Just as it had Jason.)

For her, this Bruce is a distorted mirror into a past which never was. 

Cass: This Bruce and B are not the same person. They don’t move the same. In a fight, this Bruce is younger, faster, stronger. Doesn’t compensate for a previously broken spine. Less experienced. Still one of the most experienced she knows, but less. 

He still moves differently, outside a fight, less pain. More likely to engage in physical affection, more likely to hug and pat and talk. He talks more than B. B knows what she means without words. This Bruce doesn’t.

She likes this Bruce, warmth, and softness. But not as much as B. He knows what she means, when she wants a hug, when she tells him ‘I love you’ without words. B doesn’t need words. This Bruce doesn’t know her, doesn’t communicate like her. She wants B back.

Damian: At first, when this version of his father seemed uncanny and oddly familiar, he assumed it to be due to the stories of his mother. After all, she always told him tales about his father. He simply did not have the frame of reference to understand the kindness she spoke of. Clearly, the clash between the ideals of the League and the ones of his father causes these feelings, just as they did when he first entered the manor.

He presumed this to be the case until one day on patrol Batman laid a hand on his shoulder and told him he did a good job after no particularly impressive fight and he nearly called him ‘Grayson’. Because the stories of his mother may have painted the picture of this version of his father, however, it wasn’t what made it familiar; no, he knew this kindness. These hugs and compliments one would bestow upon a child. Compliments which, despite the indignity, still warm him. Because Grayson learned how to be a… caregiver from his father.

His father used to be like Grayson, used to be until his grief hardened him. Damian could have had this. Damian could have a brother and father who would- But he doesn’t because of Todd. He loathes Todd. Loathes him for ruining the life he could have had.

Why did he die anyway? Damian certainly wouldn’t have a problem escaping bonds created by the Joker, Damian would have disarmed the bomb in time, Damian would have never thrown this life away like he did.

[Or: Damian is a child who was raised by assassins and has unreasonable standards for fighting abilities and also is a child who needs to focus his rage on someone.]

Duke: He was neither there before Jason died nor in the aftermath [according to my math he was around 4 when Jason died] he joined the family when Jason was already back for 4 years or so. He mostly skipped all the drama. For him, Bruce is the way Bruce is because he is Bruce. It’s weird to see him so different, to see how grief shaped parts of Bruce which Duke assumed were just Bruce things.

He’s glad this Bruce is brighter, or not because it just highlights how much that light will dim? Who knows, certainly not him. 

What he does know is that, with their Bruce, he has a distance which, with his parents still alive, he appreciates. With this Bruce, he can understand why Dick struggled so much whether he wants to be his ward or son, how he doesn’t want to replace his parents but still have this Bruce as a dad. It definitely explained the ted talk Dick tried to give him after Bruce officially took him in as a ward.

He likes this Bruce well enough, but he doesn’t necessarily want him to stay this way. Yes, their Bruce is less happy, less open but he did heal, he did grow. Duke met a Bruce who tried to learn from his mistakes, learned to communicate better, and learned when to pull and when to push. For Tim, Damian, Dick, and certainly Jason there is too much baggage, too much history in their relationships, it’s difficult for them to ever move past- anything really.

Sure, when Dick and Bruce are on the same page they are essentially invincible but then the past catches up again and they don’t talk to each other for months. And honestly? Apart from Cass, Duke’s pretty sure he has one of the best relationships with Bruce simply because he got to know him at a better time.

Duke doesn’t mind this Bruce. But their Bruce loved Jason, cared for him so deeply the scars still show to this day. And he still chooses to open up again even if just a bit by bit. Even if just Duke can see it. He is used to being the only one that can see.

And maybe knowing this care extends to him, this love even grief can’t shake? Maybe it makes him feel just a little bit safer, a little bit warmer, a little bit brighter.

[violent138]

It would be hilarious if Dick (recently dumped) and Jason (perpetually uninterested) were discussing their lack of dating prospects and Tim asks what they're talking about and Dick explains before going, "High five Timmy" and Tim's like "Yeah no thanks, I've got [bitches]." And both Jason and Dick are stunned.

[sickfreaksirkay]

i stand by my cancelled wife literally what did kay do wrong here to merit arthur saying he was BORN TO BE UNPLEASANT ?????

[ashtonq247]

Just my fav heros- kind and empathetic ☺️ agile freaks of nature 🤩 Linchpins of their franchise 🥰🥹💜

Now I just need to find a hero who fits the bill and happens to be a middle child

[awhoreintheory]

Something i haven't seen yet in Peter in gotahm fics (wink wink)

Batman, holding a phat envelope out to spider-man: here, this week's pay

Spider-man, skeptically: with all do respect, I don't do this to get paid

Batman: I fund the justice league, who do you think signs off their checks?

This was supposed to be convincing.

Spider-man, entirely aghast: the justice league is a corporate scam too??

Batman, clearly struggling: no, it's—

Spider-man, swinging away, yelling about "not being put under uncle Sam's thumb":

Slow clapping erupts from behind Batman. He turns dramatically to reveal Red Hood laughing his ass off.

[umbrellajam]

de-aged baby Tim but it happens during Prodigal when he and Dick still barely know each other and are supposed to be holding down the fort in Gotham by themselves and also Dick's life is already in extreme early 20s shambles

Dick!Bats:

Baby Robin!Tim (with oversized domino falling off his face): (burbles) Dbbb? BUH-MUH-MUH.

Dick!Bats:

Dick!Bats: nope nope nope nope NOPE

Huntress (rolling up warily): hey...Batman. what was that lightshow - oh, that is a baby.

Baby Robin!Tim (waving his hands delightedly): He-ba-ba!

Huntress: ...Heb-- wait a minute, is that Robin's uni--

Dick!Bats (bundling Tim and the Robin uniform into his own Bat cape and using his best Bat growl): the situation is under control, move along. (sweeps away)

---

Dick: (reading the manual to the new Batmobile to try and activate the baby carseat configuration that has to be in here somewhere, please god)

Tim: (yanks on the end of Dick's ponytail and sticks it in his mouth)

---

Dick: (standing in front of Drake Manor gearing up to hand baby Tim over to his actual family, thank fuck this will no longer be his problem--)

Dick: (remembers (a) Jack Drake is still in a wheelchair and (b) Tim laughingly telling him the funny family story of how Janet left Jack in charge of Tim for one (1) girls night when he was a year old and came back to diaper rash because he hadn't been changed in six hours, haha Dad was so embarrassed, like "so by every two hours you meant every--??")

Dick: y'know what I've helped babysit Lian how hard can this be

---

Dick (with formula in his hair, spit-up all over his shirt, juggling a red-faced wailing Tim and a corded phone held between his shoulder and his ear): ROY. ROY MAYDAY.