#he's just a teenage girl going through a breakup and that's why i love him

[chamoemileclown]

Friendship just ended with Cucurucho, he has many words to say.

[saerins]

𝐒𝐀𝐄 // 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒: 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓

+ sae x f!reader | wc 5k | content: angst to fluff, breakups, exbf!sae, exes to lovers

notes: this is the alternate ending to conversations ! (requested by one of my anons) i’m so sorry this took so long !!! and i’m 100% sure you did not expect me to write anything this long but i’m sorry my hand slipped >_< again … i’m super rusty but i hope you guys still like this ^_^

summary: sae’s willing to throw everything else away to prove that out of everything in his life, you’re the one sure thing he needs. problem is, will you accept him after what he’s done?

he’s sorry.

he repeats it in his head, over and over again, his fingers almost numb from repeatedly pressing the call button on your number—over and over and over again.

sorry, sorry, sorry.

it’s no use, he knows. it’s why he’s here—why he’s taking a flight, bare-handed, back to japan, back to home, back to you.

“please switch off your phone, sir,” the flight attendant says politely, dutily, as the plane starts to move.

begrudgingly, he resigns, but the moment he starts hearing your voicemail message play, he sighs, speaking into the receiver.

“look, i know i fucked up and it was stupid of me to keep it from you. i’m sorry, okay? and i know you don’t want to speak to me right now but i can’t just sit around and do nothing. i love you, so i’m coming back home, and we’ll talk, and then… i promise you, nothing like this will happen again.”

yes, because he’ll make sure of that. he’ll make sure he doesn’t make decisions like a stupid teenage boy and he’ll make sure to trust you at every turn instead of trying to hide anything from you because you’re right. never in the course of your relationship did you ever doubt sae.

which is a feat. because given his profession and status, any number of girls would’ve been distrusting had they been in your position. not that sae knows, what can he say he knows about girls? nothing, apparently. after today, that much is sure.

as he turns his phone on aeroplane mode, he throws his head back and looks out of the plane window. less than a day till he’ll be there to see you in person. he’s not sure if you’re going to even want to see him, but he’ll try. you deserve that much, at least.

in his head, the same words repeat over and over again.

i’m sorry.

i love you.

you’re all i ever want.

by the time sae’s plane touches down, it’s night time in japan, close to midnight. you should be resting, probably tired out from crying; he can imagine, because stupid as he may be, he can at least say he knows you this much.

your words can be hard, cold, cruel, but you never are. you’re all soft inside, and you’d rather face your emotions alone than let anyone know how you feel. at least, when those emotions concern sae. you’ll keep them to yourself and keep crying, day after day, until you can’t find it in yourself to care anymore.

passport in one hand, his phone in another, he whisks off toward the taxi stand, mind in a mess because his phone’s now ringing with messages from everyone that isn’t you, probably concerning his absence from the last match of the tournament.

fuck the final match.

you probably thought he’ll play anyway. that he’ll play the match, and only afterwards would he attempt things further with you.

funnily enough, that’s what sae used to think too. before any of this happened. never in his life did he think he’d sooner rather sabotage his own career than lose you. it’s laughable, really, how much he’s so afraid of losing you that it clouds his judgement.

he should’ve been honest with you from the start instead of letting you find out on your own. it was that easy.

“could you step on it, please?” sae sighs, irritated at everything keeping him from you; the distance, the traffic, the stupidity.

the taxi driver narrows his gaze at sae through the rear view mirror, clearly annoyed. “i’d rather not get a ticket,” he replies monotonously, and sae sees that he’s driving at the speed limit. “wouldn’t want to get into an accident, would you?”

well, if he did, that would put a real hamper in his plans, so sae just shuts up and switches off his phone. none of them are you anyway. there’s no point.

as he stares out the window at the now-quiet city, he finds that, for the first time, he’s afraid of losing everything.

mira [7.28pm]: make sure you get enough rest! bought some soup for you in case you haven’t eaten :)

you look at the time now—12.14am. fuck, did you really sleep the entire day away?

the sliver of moonlight that shines through your blinds is all you see next to the pitter patter of the heavy rain against your window. it’s pathetic, really, for you to take a day off just because of that argument (if you can really call it that) the night before. you couldn’t bring yourself to even watch his game like you’d promised him you always would, once upon a time.

something tells you that he should expect that, though. even without watching his game, you know they’d win. sae has always been magical like that, being the playmaker he is. you imagine he’s probably with his team now, celebrating the win. or are they asleep right now? you never could get used to the time difference. it’s too much of a headache.

aside from mira, you see a voicemail message in your inbox. from sae. it makes your heart skip a beat. are you even ready to hear him and whatever he has to say? it’s why you’d been avoiding him since yesterday—you’re afraid you’re just going to crumble and forgive and get taken advantage of. it threatens to spin the same old story you’ve always known.

you click on it anyway.

“look, i know i fucked up and it was stupid of me to keep it from you. i’m sorry, okay? and i know you don’t want to speak to me right now but i can’t just sit around and do nothing. i love you, so i’m coming back home, and we’ll talk, and then… i promise you, nothing like this will happen again.”

will it though? how much can you trust his words after he already failed once? it makes you think twice, no matter how badly you want to forgive him because you do believe him. it’s most likely nothing, and what he said is most likely true, but it makes you upset that he thought of hiding such a thing from you.

just as you toss your phone aside, you hear a series of urgent knocks on your door, the thunder ruthless outside. slowly, you get up, dragging your feet against the hardwood floors and flinching a little as you hear how loud the banging is. you’re half afraid and half agitated, halfway between hiding yourself under the covers and threatening to kill whoever it is outside.

but then you swing the door open and you’re met with that pair of teal eyes you’ve always loved, his bangs matted against his face as he pants, the rainwater drenching him from head to toe.

“y/n,” he calls out, as though it’s been ages since he last heard from you. it’s only been a day, but it’s enough to make sae feel as though it’s been forever.

you’re a little shocked, your brain trying to process every single question that comes to mind.

is that really him? why isn’t he in spain? if he played the game, the timeline doesn’t add up—how did he get here so fast? is this actually a dream? holy crap it feels so real, though? why isn’t he saying anything?

“s-sae?”

you’re not even sure if you said that out loud—you’re a little too shocked to make sense of anything right now. but the moment the corner of his lips tug upward, revealing that lopsided smile you love, you know it’s real.

he’s here.

“i… came to talk,” is all he can say. he’s tired from running up the stairs. apparently tonight, everything was against him. there was an accident right at the street before the corner of your apartment, so he’d had to end the trip early and start running for it. by the time he got here, the elevators for your block were all undergoing maintenance and unusable. but fuck if twenty flights of stairs are enough to make him turn away.

you’re blinking a lot, as if you find it unbelievable that he’s here in the first place, but you nod anyway and step aside to let him in, wet clothes and all.

“how was work today?”

it’s definitely not what he came here from spain to talk about but you entertain it anyway.

“didn’t go,” you tell him, a little coldly, but you think he deserves that much, at least. “how was the game?”

“don’t know, didn’t go.”

you two are similar that way.

“why not?”

“i had other important things to do.”

“you do? pray tell.”

it’s the first time sae’s hearing you like this and he’s sure now that he never wants to make you like this ever again—going against your nature.

it’s lame, and overused, and you deserve an essay for why he shouldn’t and wouldn’t ever do this again to you but it’s sae and he’s never sure what’s good in these situations so all he can manage to say is, “i’m so sorry.”

you cross your arms as the both of you stand in your dimly-lit living room, the storm raging on outside. it’s not like you don’t know that. that aside, you’re pretty sure he’s the most sorry he’s ever been. and if you were still the same naive girl you used to be ten years ago you probably would’ve forgiven him by now.

but you’re not.

“okay, is that all?”

it’s not what you really want to say. you kind of just want this to be a dream; that picture of him and that random girl with their lips locked, that fight that you had that made you cry to sleep. you wish it was some sort of stupid nightmare that didn’t make him ruin your trust but it did.

sae, on the other hand, seems restless. he’s taken aback, not quite sure how to get through to you because he’s never made a mistake like this before. “just- could you… forgive me?”

the ache you head in his voice breaks you, and you’re sure he can see the tears threatening to spill, but you stand with your choice. “can i? i don’t really know, to be honest,” you respond, voice soft and low, not quite daring to meet his eyes in case you falter.

the contrast between how you were and how you are kicks him in the gut and he has no one to blame but himself. he doesn’t want to, but he can sense where this is going. he’s not stupid, he just… doesn’t want to believe it.

“please… don’t do this?” sae swallows the lump in his throat, the foreign way his heartbeat quickens out of fear stumping him. there’s probably more he should say, but maybe that just wouldn’t be enough anymore. his words can’t find him and he can’t find it in himself to reach out to you. not when he realises you out of all people hate the most for having to do this.

if you just blindly follow your heart, you’d leap in his arms right now, fuck how soaked he is. because you still love him. you know that, and you think maybe he knows it too, but judging by the perplexed look on his face, he probably doesn’t realise it. that’s why your brain does the deciding for you. it had already made its choice the moment you saw that picture, the moment you saw the headlines on that gossip rag.

“i… think we should break up, sae.”

before today, if you’d told yourself that one day, you’d say these words, you wouldn’t believe it. but here you are, breaking up with the love of your life.

sae is just standing in front of you, staring at you, the happy picture of the two of you during your second year anniversary hanging on your wall haunting him this very second. the command he gave his assistant to help him get that ring for you sending him into the pits of despair. he’s so stunned he doesn’t know what to say or do.

“you’re… serious?”

there’s no expression in his eyes. they’re just dull, and dark, and nothing like how you’re used to.

this time, you’re the one trying to force the words out of your mouth, calmly, because you’re afraid that the tears will just spill out. “you’re… you’re the one who told me to be kinder to myself, right?”

sae chuckles softly, helplessly, as he realises you take every word he says to heart.

EIGHT YEARS AGO

it was beyond him why you let yourself be subjected to this. nobody was a saint, but surely you deserved better than to be treated like trash?

sae understood a little of where you were coming from. it was hard to let go of a three-year relationship, but having you visit him crying in the middle of the night wasn’t exactly what he would condone.

“you can do better than him, you know that right?”

the words slipped out of his mouth before he knew it. he’d once sworn that he wouldn’t meddle in your relationship, that he’d let you figure it out on your own, but your heartaches were getting too often those days that sae just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

it probably wasn’t the best thing to say to you, considering how you were bawling your eyes out and staining his entire jersey with your tears, but sae was never one to filter his words.

“everyone says that.”

which tells sae you didn’t believe that.

“which means there’s some truth there,” he sighed, leaning back against the couch as you continued to bury your head in his chest. sae saw rin from the corner of the room, peaking out of the hallway and gave him a quick wave to signal him to leave them alone.

“i… don’t know what to do.”

you rarely ever did. having been your friend for the past four years before this taught sae two things: one, you gave your all for your relationship, and two, you were one of the kindest people he’s ever known. (and by extension, it simply meant you knew what had to be done, but you refused to do it.)

sae took a deep breath, eyes gazing up at the ceiling before he resumes, “i don’t know why you let people treat you like that.”

you stayed quiet, sniffling, though it’s getting softer now, so sae continues.

“you know, you’re one of the nicest people i know,” sae told you, fingers absentmindedly stroking your hair—the way he always wanted to but never let himself admit. “which is why it kinda sucks that you’re so stupid to let yourself be hurt by that asshole over and over again.”

the both of you chuckled at that. sae was glad to know you understood he meant only well.

“stop… letting people hurt you and then letting them get away like that, okay?” he said it softly, but you definitely caught it. “be kinder to yourself, fucks sake.”

he felt your fingers curl, gripping at his shirt as you stopped yourself from crying. you looked up at him that night, smiling as your tears dried, and sae remembered telling himself that he’d never want to be the reason you had to feel upset.

“when you say it like that, how can i say no?” you joked, laughing, wiping the last of your tears away. “besides, even if i was still being stupid, i’d always have you with me, right?”

sae remembers.

he remembers not answering you, but he remembers thinking yes, always. and he has a feeling you knew back then too, that sae would always be there for you regardless.

only if it’s you.

maybe even back then, you already knew how he felt for you. and you would always listen to him. you’d always believe in him. now he feels even more stupid for everything that transpired. with his words thrown back at him, he finds himself speechless.

“you’re right,” he replies, voice hoarse, his gaze dropping to the floor. sae was being stupid, and he’s crazy if he thinks he’ll be let off that easy.

you’re sniffling a little, and he does you the courtesy of not looking at you even though you’re already turning away. “i’ll mail you your stuff.”

“it’s fine, i’ll get rin to help me take ‘em.”

it’s a diplomatic breakup. polite, nothing out of line, just two adults deciding that maybe now just isn’t the time.

after a long pause, sae gets the guts to speak. “you know you’re the only one for me, right?” because he feels like maybe you’d been doubting it recently and he doesn’t want you to feel worthless. maybe it has the adverse effect and maybe it’s selfish but he needs you to hear that.

you don’t acknowledge it, and you barely acknowledge him, even as he turns to walk out the door. this time, you’re the one not giving the answer, but sae feels like he knows how you feel anyway. you need time away from him. a proper break from him. so sae leaves wordlessly, clinging on to hope that maybe one day, he’ll be deserving of you again.

the moment sae closes the door, you fall to the floor, wailing into your cushion pillow, having one of the worst nights of your life.

THE NEXT WEEK

annoying jr [10.48am]: oi stupid, i’m here.

—followed by an incessant ringing of your doorbell.

when you groan and swing the front door open, you’re greeted by a smirking rin. at least he hasn’t changed one bit since you’d known him when he was a kid. well, at least not to you.

“did you have to ring it so obnoxiously?” you whine, plopping down on your couch, burying your head in the leather seats.

rin shuts the door behind him, scoffing. “you’re the one who always used to wake up late,” he quips, rolling his eyes (you don’t have to see it, you just know how he’s going to react).

“and someone was always the third party on dates,” you snap back, sticking your tongue out at him.

he deadpans, clicking his tongue in annoyance. “hey, wasn’t my fault my stupid brother kept using me as an excuse to go out.”

right, because back then his parents were a lot more strict than they are now, back before they didn’t know you.

realising that the mood had grown a little somber, rin clears his throat, changing the subject. “how’s work so far?”

you chuckle under your breath, finding it funny how both the brothers’ go-to question is to ask about your work. though, they’ve never been that good in conversations so you can’t blame them.

“it’s fine, promotion period’s coming up so i’m preparing for that,” you respond lacklustrely, getting up off the couch, dragging your feet to your bedroom before resurfacing just ten seconds later, carrying a box full of sae’s things.

it’s full of his clothes, care products and the like, but mostly clothes, because you’d realised you liked to steal his jerseys, wear them like they’re your own, but mostly because they smell like him, remind you of him when he’s not physically around and makes you feel better.

doesn’t make you feel good when you have to pack them up, though. you cried all the way again. pathetically. but rin doesn’t have to know, so you keep up your unbothered facade.

rin takes the box from you, thankfully not mentioning his brother. “hope you get that promotion then,” he says politely, though you sense he might have something else to say that he doesn’t know if he should.

you sigh, because sometimes rin looks like a neglected younger brother and you don’t have the heart to ignore him like sae does sometimes. “go ahead, say what’s on your mind.”

it takes just a moment of hesitation before rin heeds your words. “did you see sae’s interview last night?”

part of you doesn’t want to think about anything related to sae, but most of you still misses him, so it’s a canon event that you still look out for any and every news of him. it’s sad and pathetic and that’s why you make extra care not to mention any of that to anyone.

“nope, was it about their recent win?”

you try to go on as per normal, like sae isn’t just the love of your life that you still wanted.

“mhm.” rin, at least, doesn’t tease you about it. whether he means to or not, you’re grateful for that. “they asked him, though. about that game.” (but of course, you knew that already.)

ah, that game. the game that he abandoned to come find you. the game that led up to your breakup. the game that sae probably had to pay dearly for for knowingly ditching.

“oh, i see. what about it?”

a resigned sigh leaves rin’s lips as he looks at you with the full sincerity of a younger brother concerned with his older brother’s fuckup. “he… really loves you, you know? he’s just… stupid.”

you snort at his last remark, both of you breaking out into a small laughter. it’s bittersweet, thinking about how this might be the last time you see rin, but you’ll probably get over it. you’ll get over this, and sae, and move on someday—now if only you could get yourself to want that.

“i know,” you mutter quietly, deciding that it’s best not to speak too much about it. it’s dumb, considering everything that happened, but his words made you feel relieved, even if just for a second.

just before he leaves, you give him one last hug. “thanks, rin.”

THREE MONTHS LATER

“please don’t give me another heart attack like last time.”

sae huffs, annoyed, although he knows he probably deserves that. his poor assistant went through hell trying to appease everyone on the team due to sae’s last stunt. luckily, there are exceptions made for the best soccer player on the team, so no punishment was dire enough that he had to get kicked.

“i’m just going out for some air.” sae leaves before his assistant can get any words out, entirely too tired today to listen to anything anyone else has to say.

besides, today is a special day.

the moment he’s out of earshot, he calls one of the only contacts on his phone. for some reason, his heart is thumping wildly and his fingers are fiddling with the hem of his windbreaker. the weather is nearing negatives but somehow, he doesn’t feel it.

“hello?”

sae nearly gets a heart attack of his own when a deep, low voice is what he hears, until he realises that he recognises it.

“rin, what’re you doing there?”

he can make out the sadistic chuckle from halfway across the world. “what, disappointed?” (if sae could punch him right now he would.) “relax, we’re just at her birthday dinner and she’s busy,” he explains, though sae doesn’t nearly care about any of that other than the fact that he wants to talk to you.

“where’s y/n?”

“she’s the birthday girl, people are lining up just to take pictures with her,” rin raises his voice over the background, and sae’s never been more frustrated. “she’s taking pics with some handsome guy right now, and he’s got his hands around her waist,” rin whistles right after, and sae can just sense his smugness through the phone.

whether what his brother said was true or not, sae is in no position to be jealous anyway. (even though he is and he’s sporting an unamused frown that’s enough to scare the living daylights out of anyone watching him.)

“wish her happy birthday for me then.”

rin snorts. “sure. disappointed you didn’t get to hear her—” sae hangs up before he can be subjected to anymore of his brother’s nonsense. all he really wanted was to just hear your voice, but he won’t be greedy.

staying friends was already a miracle. that’s only possible because you have a heart of gold, and he knows that if he ever pushes it too much, he might just risk losing you forever and he knows he can’t have that. so for now, this’ll do.

he’ll wait, no matter how long he has to.

later that night, when the moon is high up in spain, sae receives a notification from you. there, attached in your thread is an audio message.

“itoshi sae… thank you.”

the little laugh you leave at the end is enough to make him smile at his phone. he counts his blessings for you, and starts counting down to the days he has left in spain. if he wants you, he needs to go all in.

ONE YEAR LATER

“you ready yet? i’m at your lobby.”

sae can just barely make out your panicked state from the other line. you’re late, and you know he’s fine with waiting, but because you’re a perfectionist, you really really don’t want him to have to.

“yeah, just gimme like, five minutes!” which sae knows translates to i actually need twenty but i’ll rush. there’s a certain satisfaction it gives him—knowing that he knows you in these ways that nobody else can.

“take your time, i have to pump some gas anyway, running low,” he tells you, an excuse which you accept right away because it’s convenient.

sae doesn’t even need any gas. it’s full, so he parks his car by the entrance and waits inside, turning up the air conditioning because he knows you’ll be sweating a little by the time you inevitably still choose to rush down.

it’s exactly one year since the last time he wished you happy birthday (through rin). and this year, he’s happy enough he gets to actually take you out. the past year’s been filled of sae restarting the relationship from ground zero—back to being friends and gradually coming back again to where you are now, dating. sure, it’s taxing having to do it all over again, but he’d do this however many times you want him to.

SIX MONTHS AGO

“hmmm, i dunno how to feel, i kinda like this.”

sae had been calling you up often, and he feels good inside knowing that you might miss him as much as he misses you.

“kinda like what?” he asked, wishing that he could see your expression right now.

“kinda like you chasing me all over again,” you giggled, shameless with your words. “what if i just never agree to be your girlfriend again? what if i just make you chase after me forever?”

he knew for a fact that you weren’t that sadistic, but even so, his answer would still be the same. “then i’ll stick in this phase with you. forever.” although that would render the ring that he bought for you useless.

“oh really?”

sae hummed in faux contemplation. “nah, maybe not. maybe i’ll just ditch you and run off with ryusei or something.”

he got a laugh out of you for that.

“ryusei? not even some other girl, but ryusei?”

sae chuckled—he still remembered his mistake. and he’d never put you in a position to feel that way again. even if you two were just joking around.

“y/n, there’s no one else except you.” he was rarely ever serious like this, especially considering how you bantered as friends, but sometimes, he knew he had to. nowadays, more than anything, he just wanted to know that you had no doubts about how he felt for you.

you didn’t give any response to that, but considering how you started to ease up around him even more after that, sae felt like maybe there was a solid hope there of reviving this after all.

the knock on his window brings him back into the present, your pretty face doing wonders in lighting up his mood.

as you get into the passenger seat, sae steals a glance at you from head to toe—you’re so beautiful and so worth the wait and you’ll always be.

“so, where are you taking me today, mr itoshi sae?”

he leans back against his seat, tilting his head as he looks at you, feigning contemplation. “depends, ms l/n y/n, do you trust me?”

you press your lips into a line, the corners threatening to tug upwards. you’re so adorable that sae’s actually going to go insane but he dons a straight face like he always has because letting you know the power you have over him is more than you need to know.

“i think it’d be a little weird if i couldn’t trust my boyfriend.”

suddenly it’s like time stands still and sae’s hands are stuck on the steering wheel and he’s left staring into space wondering if he heard you right. boyfriend? he turns around to look at you, teal eyes searching your own for answers but all he sees is a smirk on your face—you definitely know the power you have over him.

“wow, want me that bad, huh?” you joke, giggling as you tell him to hit the gas. “i… wasn’t kidding though.”

and as he pulls out of the parking lot, he thinks about the little velvet box that sits in his jacket pocket, thinks about the fact that he’s one of the luckiest people in the world thanks to you. heat rises to his cheeks, and he has to look away from you.

“you know one day you’re still gonna be mrs itoshi, right?”

this time, you laugh—but not like you think it’s a joke, more like the kind where you think was there even any other option? and even then, you offer him assurance.

“there’s nothing i want more.”

[clawsmiic]

"If I'm being honest, no I'm not holding up okay."

Repost from other account

1.9k words

CW: Past Stancy mention, current Jancy, past feelings mention, and past/current unrequited love (both)

Prom Night, 1985

Prom night, supposedly one of the greatest nights of teenagers' lives. That's a sentiment Steve definitely wouldn't agree with, hanging out outside his own senior prom. He didn't even know why he bothered coming, knowing full well he'd see them together. Hand in hand, arm in arm, dancing to every cheesy slow song the DJ put on. As much as Steve tried to be supportive or ignore it...

He just wasn't over his ex-girlfriend yet.

But that didn't stop him from trying to be the bigger man in the situation. That's what Steve grew into being, the bigger person. No more being a total asshole for the sake of his own feelings. That's something Junior year Steve would do.

"Well, don't you just look so lively tonight." His trance breaks as he's approached by you, coming from the double doors of the Gym hallway not too far away.

"I'm not in the mood tonight."

Steve sounded both fed up and disgusted with your antics already. Even if this was just the first thing you said anything to him all day.

You lean against the cold brick gym wall. Feeling the rough bumps of the hard surface on your back and through your dress.

"Rough night, champ?" Steve sighs, rubbing his eyes, raw from a few minutes of being emotional.

"You don't know the half of it." Glancing over, he sees you for the first time. Admiring the floor length red dress, you always looked good in red. You looked good in everything, at least in his mind.

"Look at you, all dressed up and presentable for once." You smirk at his joke, making him chuckle and smile.

"I always look presentable thank you prick." Smirking to yourself before looking back at him.

"You look good in a tuxedo... Y'know, for you."

"Thanks for the backhanded compliment. Anything good from you is a rarity." You laugh, making him smile even wider. His eyes shift around the parking lot, watching cars pull in, and other kids come to join the party going on inside.

"What're you even doing out here by yourself? I thought you'd be in there with like 9 different girls trying to dance with you at once." He scoffs, fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

"You know, too many options beating down my door. Couldn't disappoint them all."

"Came stag too, huh?" He just nods in response, not saying anything as you both look up into the inky night sky. The only sound to fill the cold April night air was the crickets chirping and distant chatting of other students.

"Are you holding up okay? I saw them dancing inside and... I know the breakup was hard for you, so I just thought I'd check up on you..."

Steve let out a rough sigh, feeling like a complete idiot pining for his ex-girlfriend still. Being broken up for almost 5 months now. He couldn't let her go in his head, they were each other's first loves. At least she was to him.

All of that came crashing to a halt after everything back in November.

"If I'm being honest, no I'm not holding up okay."

"I know I'm not a therapist or anything..." You shrug, glancing back at him as you nervously chew on your thumbnail.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really. I've been talking to Dustin for months about it and no matter how much I try I can't get past it. Like Nancy's cast some kind of spell to stick with me or something." He sighs, looking at the asphalt as he swallows harshly.

"Now we can hardly make eye contact for more than 3 seconds before she turns away... God, she must hate me."

"Steve, she doesn't hate you. She's probably just feeling awkward about everything and trying to respect her new relationship by not hanging around her ex-boyfriend. They're just trying to find their footing as a couple." You reassure him, leaning over to give him a squeeze on his shoulder. Thinking about what he said, you shake your head, grinning at the thought of Dustin.

"And really Steve? Dustin. He's like 14 and barely knows how to handle having a crush yet. He's never even had a girlfriend yet. I know he's smart for his age, but c'mon."

"I know! He's just a great listener. He knows a lot for his age, it's actually kinda scary." You roll your eyes looking at the ground, starting to laugh to yourself.

"What?" His full attention is on you now, a small smile pulling at his lips as he watches you start to laugh harder.

"Nothing I just..." You cover your mouth, snickering again.

"I just never pictured myself giving you of all people a pep talk... You're you for crying out loud. Steven "The Hair" Harrington." You grin, bumping his arm with your elbow.

"King Steve... You're literally the most popular guy in the entire school, and I'm... Me." He shrugs, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's the fun thing. We're so different, so we can see our point of view while still seeing each other's... Plus, it's nice not having someone around trying to kiss my ass constantly."

"Yeah, I'll just kick your ass instead." You smirk, pressing off the wall, your heels click as you step in front of him.

"Look, I know it hurts now, but it'll pass eventually... And if I can be honest with you... You could do so much better than Nancy frickin' Wheeler."

Steve could feel his eyebrows shooting up in amusement as you got in front of him. For some odd reason, just standing there in your presence felt somewhat calming suddenly.

"Oh yeah? Who'd you have in mind then?"

"I don't know," you think for a second and shrug, "Farrah Fawcett? I think she'd think you were cute. Celebrity or not?"

"Farrah Fawcett? You think Farrah Fawcett, one of the most famous women alive, would want me?"

"Yeah! You're a hot guy, why wouldn't she?!" It's his turn to laugh now, shaking his head as he bites his lip.

"Where the hell would I even meet her?"

"I don't know! I thought we were talking hypothetically." Steve nodded, his face turning serious again.

"It's just... It's hard looking past Nancy, y'know. She was the first girl I ever loved."

"I'm aware, Steve. It's just not always the best thing to dwell on. I'm talking from experience." You bite the inside of your cheek and sigh. Nervous to be this honest, but if it helps get the point across, then so be it.

"Can I be honest with you about something?"

Steve looks at you, seeing how nervous you look to talk. His lips part slightly as he nods.

"Of course."

"I used to have a massive crush on Jonathan ages ago and when he started showing an interest in Nancy it killed me... But he's my friend, so I encouraged him. It killed me but I got over it."

You turn your head, looking up at the sky again, taking in the shining stars above the two of you. Feeling embarrassed about laying everything out there for someone you've barely gotten to know again.

"Took a while but time heals most wounds. So, just know I'm here for you because I know what it feels like... Kind of."

Steve felt your pain as you talked about how you couldn't be with Jonathan, and how that's basically how he felt about Nancy in all honesty.

Silence fell over the two of you as you both looked out to the sky, admiring the stars again. Steve looks over at you, feeling somewhat peaceful. Yet still wanting to ask so many questions.

"How'd you do it? Stay strong like that. I can barely be in a room with her right now."

"I talked to my family. That helped a lot... But I know you aren't the closest to your parents, so that's why I asked if you wanted to talk about it with me." You smile softly, lips turning up as you half shrugged at his question.

"I know we weren't always on the best of terms, but you're my friend and... I care about you."

"We're friends again?" His eyes seemed to light up almost, just like he was a little kid again. Over the past year he's felt like you two were bonding. But never wanted to ask out of fear.

Tension fills the air between you two. It's been this way since you two started becoming friends again. Going through hell together alongside the couple, Steve was trying to avoid like the plague.

"Well you know, when you nearly die fighting inner dimensional monsters together you tend to start caring about their well-being again... So, in a way, I guess we have to thank them for something at least."

Steve smirks before shaking his head.

"Part of me likes to think we'd be friends again someday."

"Who knows." You add, silence falling between you again. It's not long before Steve shifts, pushing himself off the wall and looking at you.

"So let’s say, hypothetically, that I was stuck at this stupid prom without a date and I had no one else to ask but you...”

"Mmm. Mmhm, hypothetically." You nod along, fighting back the urge to smirk.

"Go on."

Steve looked away for a second, collecting his thoughts. He takes a deep breath, turning back to you.

"And, hypothetically, I might need to spend our senior prom dancing, like my life depends on it, because it's possibly the last fun night before the rest of our lives."

"I'm starting to think you don't know what the word hypothetically means."

"Shush," he cuts you off, making you giggle before he continues, "now, hypothetically, would you be interested in dancing with me?"

You nod, looking like you were really thinking about it. As if you didn't know your answer already.

"Well, hypothetically," you play along, making sure to hold eye contact, "I might be inclined to say yes... If it wasn't a hypothetical, of course."

You rub your hand over your mouth, smirking behind it. He holds eye contact, faking a scoff as he stares.

"You're gonna make me ask?" You nod, tongue going to his cheek as he also nods.

"You're impossible, you know that?"

"I wouldn't be saying that to a girl you're about to ask to prom Steve." He chuckles, nodding. You got him there.

His expression shifts to a goofy grin as he sighs with a slight relief.

"You think you can survive the night without making fun of me?" He smirks, holding his hand out for you to grab, you smile back at him taking it gently. Giving him a reassuring squeeze.

"I don't know about the whole night, but I can sure try my best." Rolling his eyes, he pulls you into his side, lacing his arm around your waist.

You look up at him, your gaze meeting again. Taking in his deep brown eyes and soft smile brings... Old feelings from years ago bubble back up.

Your mouth opens to say something, anything at all. But the words won't come out as your heartbeat picks up speed.

That old crush you had on your old friend never really went away over all these years.

Or at least that's what you think at the moment.

[livi-in-digital-circus]

Here are some songs that I think would match Ragatha/Miss Agatha and Jax/Jackson in your AU!!!

Ragatha/Miss Agatha:

- the grudge by Olivia Rodrigo would work with her and her terrible fiancé, especially after what he did to her baby. I think it could also work with her and Jax after she slapped him.

- Diet Mountain Dew by Lana Del Rey would work both Ragatha and Jax. It fits their will-they-won’t-they narrative.

- Bigger Than The Whole Sky by Taylor Swift. This song reminds me a lot of Agatha’s miscarriage and the horrible feelings that came with it. It’s the moment where everything in her world fell apart.

- Lose You To Love Me and Single Soon by Selena Gomez. The first one would work with Ragatha’s regrets over her past relationship with her ex, while the second one highlights a happier ending for her. It’s her new start with Jax, specifically her getting ready for the dance with him!

Jax/Jackson:

- Dancing With Our Hands Tied by Taylor Swift. I feel like this matches the dance scene, before everything fell apart of course.

- teenage dream by Olivia Rodrigo. This song would probably reflect the aftermath of Agatha’s coma and all the pain Jackson went through after finding out. Although this isn’t canon to the story, I feel like this would fit his 18th birthday party without her.

- Love You Down by Ready For The World. This song would resonate a lot with Jackson’s one-sided crush on his brother’s teacher and the dreams he had about her.

- Colors by Halsey would definitely work with Jax’s dreams about his past. It summarizes all the people and all the feelings he ignores to avoid feeling anything.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy these choices :D. Your AU has been one of my favorite TADC AUs I ever read. The amount of emotion, drama, and romance was captured perfectly without feeling OOC. Keep up the great work Livi!

AAAAAA THANK YOU SO SO MUCH 💕

I don't know why I didn't think of adding more Taylor and Olivia songs to my playlist, but I actually had those two Selena songs somewhere in the back of my head while making it!

I'll listen to all the songs when I get home from school in 10+ hours (it's past 1 AM here lol)

I would also like to take this opportunity to explain some of the Korean songs on the playlist:

Prologue by aespa is about feeling immature and not ready for adulthood, to me it fits Agatha perfectly because even though she has been an adult for some time, she still has the heart of a teenager and has trouble dealing with some adult issues

Checkmate by Xdinary Heroes is about feeling confident because of a won game, I relate this song to the moment when Jax's attack on Ragatha during their stage play was successful

The Ugly Duckling by YENA, well I interpreted the song's lyrics much differently than it should be interpreted, I relate it to Agatha's miscarriage due to the lyrics being about trying to move on after a horrible event and there is also a child mentioned so-

War of Hormone by BTS is a very controversial song which that has been accused of considering girls playthings for boys, basically Jax's attitude towards Ragatha before she almost abstracted

Doll by (G)I-DLE, the title says it all, it perfectly describes how Ragatha was treated by Jax and how she's fed up with it

Quarter Life by TOMORROW X TOGETHER is another song about finding adult life kind of hard and trying to go on despite you already screwed up a lot of things, every time I hear this song I think of Jax and how he feels after remembering his former life

Lonely Boy by TOMORROW X TOGETHER is a breakup song that in my opinion fits how Jackson felt after losing Agatha

Happily Ever After by TOMORROW X TOGETHER (yeah, it's my fav boysband lol) is the song I had in mind while writing the last chapter, even though it's upbeat it tells about how cruel life is and that there's actually no happy end, just like in the story :D

And thank you for enjoying my AU! At first I thought it would fail as it has no drawings (I'm really terrible at drawing + I can't do digital art) and focuses more on writing, but the amount of support and love my work has received in these few months makes me incredibly happy 🥺

[n7punk]

“Slipstream” Fic Notes

Slipstream is done after growing far beyond the “simple hacker fic” concept and honestly Mara’s so cute I can’t even be mad. Fic notes below.

Playlist:

I’ve got the playlist here, but other honorable mentions I listeded to on repeat during this just because I wanted to: The Sex Was Good Until It Wasn’t album by XANA (it dropped in May and that shit is still on repeat), SUCKERPUNCH album by chloe moriondo (for chapter 6), PVRIS’s entire discography (I was going through something).

The Kicker — XANA

Good Luck, Babe! — Chappell Roan

Diet Heartbreak — chloe moriondo

TRAUMA BOND — poutyface

Albi — XANA

Rly Don’t Care — chloe moriondo

Chaos Is Love — K.Flay

Teenage Nightmare [unreleased demo]

What’s My Age Again? — Emilia Ali

Late Bloomer — Allison Ponthier

Holy Revival — Maisie Peters (ignore the verses)

Femininomenon — Chappell Roan

Mercury In Retrograde — Avril Lavigne

NIGHT IN JAIL — Rachel Bochner

my best friend’s ex — emlyn

Even If It Kills Me [unreleased demo]

Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl — Chappell Roan

Sirens (feat. Sophie Powers) — MOTHICA

Homewrecking Era — XANA

Obsessed (feat. Ashley Sienna) — Sophie Powers

Obsessed — Astrid S

Look At Her Now — Selena Gomez

Pretty Girls — Renee Rapp

Cruel Summer — Taylor Swift

Picture You — Chappell Roan

Epilogue Life:

It takes a few months for Catra to feel like she has any handle on “parenting” or any right to even think that term about herself when she’s still a newcomer to Mara’s life, but Mara has accepted her at that point, it’s Catra and her own lack of a parental figure that is stopping her. She never would have accepted someone trying to come in and parent her after being so jaded from the first few years of her life (see her  relationship with Adora’s parents in high school), so she’s expecting Mara to be a lot more hesitant and take “convincing”. She wants to give her the time she needs, but Mara had a loving parent growing up and doesn’t see adding Catra to that role as a bad thing.

Mara also has a little kid understanding of the world, so to her the instant Catra and Adora are dating she’s her stepmom, not because it’s that easy, but because obviously dating = will get married, so there is no point “fighting” something that is inevitable. Even though her parents don’t talk to each other, it doesn’t occur to her that people break up under normal circumstances. Her dad has hurt her mom and her a lot, he’s a bad guy, and Catra isn’t that, so why would she ever leave. They’re both girls and gay, they have no need to breakup. Life isn’t that simple, but it does make their relationship transition pretty smooth from Mara’s perspective.

Catra still insists on the stepdad thing and it becomes a family joke. Catra tells Mara it’s because it would be too confusing if they were both mom and Mara accepts that without question, because she is actually right. The reasons for stepdad are multi-layered, like this addition which helps Mara accept it: Mara wants someone good to replace the force of rejection and imbalance her bio dad was, so she’s more than happy to have Catra take that mantle instead. Catra wants to replace him as well, for many reasons including her own selfish hatred of him, but also her own insecurity. She knows she can be a better parent than Falcon, but she doesn’t think she can ever be equal to Adora and thus an equal mom. Adora’s parents weren’t 100% wrong when they mentioned the butch thing either because it is my headcanon Catra is a little GNC at times. Not really anything deep or strong enough for her to identify any particular way, just something that means she wouldn’t mind stepdad or “sir” even without all those other layers. Eventually a lot of those factors stop seeming like such a big deal but at that point it is just a family joke that never really dies. Occasionally once she’s in high school Mara calls her mom, but mostly Catra is “Dad” or “my stepdad” when being referred to singularly, and then when Mara is referring to both her parents she calls them “my moms”. Which does confuse people and Catra finds that funny.

When Mara is in high school and the age Adora and Falcon were when they started dating, Falcon finally tries reaching out again. That was a phone call Adora never wanted to get, but he’s not coming back to the country — he does still have those debts waiting for him, after all, and unable to pay them back, the stress would take him right back to that mental state he fled — and he’s not trying to rejoin their lives, he just kind of wants to know what happened after he left. Adora is angry and tells him he doesn’t have the right to know that after what he did — and she’s right — but later she still regrets it and, after talking to Catra (who also tells her she was right and she shouldn’t call him back and open that door back into their lives for him, but sits by her side when she’s on the phone to support her when she insists on going through with it), she calls him back. She only gives him the very high level stuff: she started dating someone right around when he disappeared, and they’re married now and happy, and she has become Mara’s new stepdad — something Falcon thinks she says as a pointed jab not knowing that’s really what Mara calls her — and Mara is doing well despite Falcon messing up her sense of trust and safety as a little kid, and definitely doesn’t need him fucking with her again by trying to contact her now. Adora makes it clear this is a courtesy she is giving him with the understanding that, now she has volunteered the information, he isn’t going to seek any more out or bother them.

That holds kind of true. He checks in with Adora around high school graduation just to make sure Mara made through it okay — he can’t help but remember around this time he was ruining both their lives — and to see if she plans to go to college, which she does, and then he calls again three years later just to see if she’s still on that track, which she is. He never calls again and Adora never knows if that’s because he moved on, or got closure, or lost their number, or died. Mara knows he called to check in on her once or twice but Adora didn’t tell her until she was an adult because she worried about reintroducing all that old uncertainty and fear back into her life, and at least now no one can force her to see Falcon if she doesn’t want to.

Catra seriously considers hunting him down after he goes dark, but she has done what she can to close the illegal chapter of her life and she knows Adora wouldn’t be happy with her reopening it — especially when she’s a little rusty — for their own closure with him. Catra didn’t exactly succeed in turning over a new leaf overnight, but she did greatly reduced her law-breaking, leaving only little slip-ups that happened every few months until she managed to stretch a gap long enough for it to become permanent, the impulse no longer second nature and her episodes of feeling untouchable either more rare or focused on something other than being unafraid of the government. She does stay in the cybersecurity sector professionally for a long time and works alongside Entrapta several times throughout the years.

I’ve kind of talked about this before and even included it in the concert scene, but Catra and Entrapta do kind of keep  referring to each other as partner occasionally and honestly neither of them are really sure how they mean it. They never formally said “QPR over”, they said “no more physical affection (sex)” and they remained very close, though it felt like it did end more definitively when Catra eventually moved in with Adora. That took her longer to do than it usually does in AUs due to both her happiness/comfort with Entrapta, trying not to “upset” Mara by forcing the change on her, and Catra still needing the ability to get distance from them for the night sometimes while dealing with her own demons, but those slowly disappear as Mara lets her heal her own childhood and she sees she can be a good parental figure with experience.

Chapter 1:

⦁ “Slipstream” was once again a temporary placeholder name that became permanent. It’s a reference to the hacker Slipstream, one of the names behind the Nintendo gigaleak.

⦁ Entrapta’s daily energy drink limit is by no means her daily average, but any day drinking seven energy drinks is a bad one. She doesn’t actually drink Monster every day… Just like 95% of them. And she is a lot more likely to drink 1-3 than 5.

⦁ Okay I’m like half bullshitting the tech speak in this fic. The 20 minute decryption Waffle House thing? Yeah that’s actually optimistic. The kid who hacked the CIA did that exact thing and took 30 minutes to log on and he still eventually got caught.

⦁ Close followers of my Tumblr will already know Adora Maria is reference to some terrible  “wrong” trivia answers to a question about She-ra’s names.

Chapter 2:

⦁ Steps (loosely): 1) Identify absolutely necessary files and save them, 2) Paste contents of other important word/text files into empty cloud documents she can download later (cleaning metadata), 3) Create a new encrypted email on a totally different machine (in this case, Catra’s clean laptop she had with her), 4) Forward absolutely necessary emails to new address (being very selective), 5) Delete what accounts it’s reasonable to just nuke, 6) Completely wipe computer and reset it, 7) Change first the associated email and then the password of all other accounts in a closed environment (Catra’s laptop) and turn on two-factor for absolutely everything that has the option, 8) When all information has been reset, delete old email in closed environment as insurance.

⦁ Adora’s scent changed some with pregnancy and then the rest with lifestyle changes.

⦁ Mara comes out to check on them because Adora told her an old friend from high school was coming over and she wasn’t making the happy sounds she makes with her friends. When she realized Adora was stressed she got worried, doubly so when she said it was grown-up stuff, because that grown-up stuff could be Mara-related — especially since she knows Falcon is causing problems with child support even if Adora tries to keep her from hearing about it too much — which is why Adora invited her out to see it’s really okay.

Chapter 3:

⦁ Originally when I wrote the group chat there was nothing differentiating who was speaking, but I had the idea to use emojis like profile pictures to make it more clear. The scorpio icon was originally head-in-the-clouds (high af emote), the star was originally just a sassy emote, and the dragon changed the same. I ended up changing them because a reader sent an ask letting me know that the emotes wouldn’t translate to epub format and the Scorpio and star “emote” are part of the standard unicode colored symbals, so I’m hoping they’re included, but I also don’t have any way of checking without just uploading the thing so this was my best effort. I kept the dragon even though it’s not included because I was too attached and only one person missing an icon would at least differentiate it from the others still.

⦁ Adora named Mara after her old teacher Mara because she was the only out lesbian she (knew) she had ever met. She was pretty quiet about it to not get harassed by parents, but she wasn’t about to lie about it, and she would talk about Hope when prompted. Adora admired that back in high school thinking she just Respected Her Ideals™️ and later realized it was more than that.

⦁ Catra’s conflicting feelings looking at Mara hugging Adora’s hip are actually less because she’s remembering her father and more remembering she was doing that to feel safe and she doesn’t like to think she’s making a kid feel unsafe too.

⦁ Adora’s habit of rubbing at her tattoo (versus something like the back of her neck) started when it itched a lot while healing. She has terrible tattoo discipline and really shouldn’t get another one because she couldn’t leave it alone.

⦁ You might be able to tell here, but originally Mara was intended to be older (8-ish or something) but I didn’t want them to separate that long. The timeline is already kind of screwy because even with Adora a year older Mara should actually be four with pregnancy time, but shhhhhh.

⦁ Oh my god I wish more people knew the difference between the deep web and the dark web. People act like they’re interchangable when Facebook qualifies as the deep web. Catra is a deep web miscreant, not the dark web.

Chapter 4:

⦁ Perfuma doesn’t know they’re cyber criminals but given the jokes about felonies she can guess that’s the only thing that makes sense, and then she elects not to think any more about it because they’re really important to Scorpia and she wants plausible deniability.

⦁ Obviously Catra hadn’t said Adora’s name yet, but Adora is such an Entity in her mind it feels like everybody should think about her as much as Catra does.

⦁ Perfuma would have to be totally oblivious to not pick up from the conversation that Catra had a crush on Adora in high school, and knowing what she does about Adora’s comphet she just kind of assumes it was the classic “crush on a straight girl” that went nowhere until Catra left school. She’s not about to embarrass Catra by bringing that up to Adora, but if she knew how serious it was and had a hunch how Adora felt she might interfere.

⦁ Table break lore. I wouldn’t say this is a reference so much as a shared headcanon that previously came up allllllllllll the way back in Drawn Into The Music, where Scorpia breaks a table trying to lean on it while drunk because Biceps.

⦁ Mara’s set up is basically what I had as a kid. When we were little we had the “kid computer” which belonged to someone back in the day when it was actually considered a good machine. It didn’t have internet and was just for playing games (which were all offline at that point in time). When we got old enough for the internet we had a  software that only let us browse for like 30 minutes each day and I think had an automatic filter of inappropriate sites? If it did, the site list was very minimal and I never ran into any issues personally, but a software that blocks pornhub isn’t a bad thing for a five year old to have even if I’m generally against online surveillance lmao. It’s not making a list of sites she visited for spying purposes or anything, and generally Adora tries to be in the room with her when she’s online (in-game or not) because you know. Super young. She’s really busy though and sometimes has to rely on the idea that the parents of Mara’s friends are doing the same thing and monitoring them so they can keep safe. That is not always true.

⦁ Adora tousles Mara’s hair and pets her so much because that became one of the ways she knew how to express affection with Catra and now it’s just ingrained as a part of her.

⦁ Semi-related, she and Catra didn’t actually meet until middle school in this ‘verse and had about five years together before Catra’s breakdown.

⦁ Adora’s tattoo is the season one sword in a deep maroon and then the gem in the center of the hilt is the sunset ombre from the lesbian flag. Catra just thought the lines were black because she couldn’t see that shade of red.

⦁ “The breakup” here is code for “uncomfortable sex experience”.

Chapter 5:

⦁ Catra was about to say she doesn’t get on her knees unless a pretty girl asks nicely before her brain caught up with her mouth.

⦁ Adora was absolutely not going to interrupt because she was smitten watching them interact. She never in her wildest dreams thought Catra would do more than tolerate her child at best, but she forgot the factor of her kind of outweighed the factor of child.

⦁ Uhhhh. So. Alright fuck it. Catra was in a mania fit when she broke into the mall. That can come from a couple things and I’ve experienced it once I think, but yeah she really should be on mood stablizers and just refuses to see a professional about it. Once her life stabilized and she essentially had Entrapta as a safety net, knowing she wasn’t going to kick her out if her work lapsed, it made things a lot easier, but her constant vigilance against authorities could just as easily be seen as appropriate vigilance as it is paranoia (primarily socially-unacceptable anxiety).

⦁ Catra doesn’t know how to categorize her emotions outside of bad criteria so any strong emotion gets categorized as “breakdownable” or not but that’s definitely not what she’s feeling here, having emotions just feels like she’s dying.

⦁ Bella Sara supremacy !! 🗣️🗣️I don’t think it was available on the Vita lol but it was in THIS universe.

Chapter 6:

⦁ Catra was, subconsciously, still trying to delay the inevitable of Adora and Entrapta meeting by meeting with Adora and Scorpia downstairs. When they finally came home and it was time, Catra basically tried to get everyone settled in the living room and her own bedroom without “bothering” Entrapta, but she did vaguely greet them when they got home. Their first real conversation was the one in the bed, though.

⦁ Adora is the type of drunk to try to perpetuate her own existence. If you look away from drunk Adora for a second she’s doing another round of shots and trying to get herself hospitalized.

⦁ “Adora shouldn’t be worrying about this” yeah this reaction has nothing to do with cheating, Catra, that’s just all she can do with her jealousy reasonably.

⦁ The Scene (1)

⦁ Belgian Boys mini pancakes my beloved

⦁ Okay so “cheating” per se isn’t so much a thing in their relationship, but by the idea that there are rules and they have an understanding which involves not messing around with other people without notification/permission, then yes cheating is a thing. It would  be shitty for Catra to do anything without letting Entrapta know she intends to, which is the entire point of the fun pass.

Chapter 7:

⦁ Catra didn’t really have a sex addiction or anything she was just really, really lonely, knew people found her hot, and needed reasons to stay at other people’s places, so it ended up as a perfect storm.

⦁ “Put the kid on and let me talk to her” from Catra “I’m just tolerating the kid” Meow Meow.

⦁ Yes I know that “bludgeoning weapon” was not at all correct. But it sounded good, and that’s what writing is sometimes.

⦁ “She tells herself Mara would miss her gifts and then immediately questions why she needs to tell herself anything at all.” Idk Catra I think Mara might miss you as a little more than a gift-giving source. She might be really broken up by you not coming around. (You would also miss her but I’m not even going to pretend you’re open to that idea)

⦁ IDK CATRA MAYBE THE KID WANTED TO BE AROUND AND TRUSTED BY YOU. IDIOT

⦁ The Scene (2)

Chapter 8:

⦁ Turnabout’s fair play and we’ve gone from Adora thinking she can’t stay over to Catra thinking it. These two lesbians just need to accept they’re equally needy.

⦁ “Hoodwinked” agenda !! In all seriousness I haven’t watched it in years so I’m not sure if it holds up, but I loved that movie as a kid and so did my mom. I watched it so many times.

⦁ “Tax-free” is in reference to the final line of the chapter, where Catra has some (minor) dues to pay for how she has lived her life, but it’s nothing more serious than what she has already done, because as awful as she often thinks herself, most of what she did was just surviving under hard circumstances.

Chapter 9:

⦁ Adora has it right with Falcon. To him, he and his girlfriend had sex bad enough for her to realize she was gay (he was not being a good partner for that because he didn’t notice she was uncomfortable, he was just thinking three years together made it about time), he suddenly has a kid at only 19, and his now-ex he was planning to marry can’t even look at him. He already had gambling tendencies and really fell on it with the stress of college and navigating the kid situation, and then everything snowballed because the debt got bad enough he couldn’t make tuition and his stress went even further through the roof when he was forced to just get a job to pay what child support he could, and then he starts getting these threats and at that point completely starting over is looking pretty attractive. Whether or not he was in the right has no effect on how his brain was able to handle it and Mara’s inception turned out mildly traumatic for everyone involved.

⦁ “The fact that Adora is right to have her suspicions is annoying.” That’s a little thing called guilt, kitten.

⦁ I don’t know what my thing with Albuquerque is but whenever I think of someone going into hiding/leaving the country I think of them doing it there. I’m sure it was used in some piece of media I consumed when I was young and that’s where it came from because to my knowledge it’s not an international flights hub.

⦁ Glimmer is one of those people who will drop in the group chat like hey who wants to see a show in two weeks and then just buy tickets for everyone. This was actually arranged months ago, hence the Star siblings not thinking about the timing and having a conflict, and it was before Perfuma and Scorpia even started dating.

⦁ Melendy Britt was a voice actress on the OG cartoon and like a third of the female characters, playing Adora amongst others. She was recently at the MOTU SDCC panel.

⦁ In most ‘verses I think Catra loves music, she just has a specific history in this AU that makes it a weird thing for her because she knows it was robbed of her but can’t try to get into it now because that’s acknowledging everything she has lost.

⦁ The brain development thing is actually a myth and it varies wildly between people, but Adora’s parents are also the kind to sincerely believe you’re only using 10% of your brain at any given time.

Chapter 10:

⦁ When I was initially figuring out what to do with Falcon, I wasn’t really sure what to do with him. I wanted to get him involved in criminal stuff Catra could uncover so he couldn’t be around Mara anymore, but I was also hesitant to do that because Adora’s life is in a precarious place without the child support. I also didn’t want to make him into this caricature of awfulness when he was once Adora’s longterm boyfriend and thus at least seemed decent. Then I remembered Catra has a tech sector paycheck and I could easily just run him off at that point.

⦁ Honestly, now is probably the time to admit that every third time I went to write Falcon’s name I almost wrote Sea Hawk just because they’re so similar, which makes sense since Falcon was invented to be Sea Hawk’s ex, but it was a struggle the whole fic lol.

⦁ Okay, but what did happen with Falcon and the money/threats? Well, Catra had it pretty right: they were sketchy people, and criminals sure, scammers definitely, but they weren’t actually going to send hitmen after him or anything. He was never in any danger. Leaving the country did actually give him a new leaf though and he was a better person with it, managing to build something even though he was still struggling with his gambling addiction. He wasn’t able to keep any kind of savings going as a result but he at least learned not to spend money he didn’t actually have and get in debt. He managed to find a small pension job and get help for his anxiety, which let him at least a small modest life.

⦁ Mrs. Bee is Sweet Bee.

⦁ I meant to have a conversation about swearing they never ended up having. Basically, Adora vaguely tries to censor herself, but things like “oh stars” come naturally to her from her parents, “fuck” just also comes naturally from everyone else in her life lol. Mara knows kind of what swear words are and that they’re “adult words” you need to be older to understand the impact of, so when Catra (or Adora) does inevitably swear in front of the kid, it’s  not much of a big deal. Catra ends up making it out to be a bigger thing in her head and putting more effort into censoring herself (read: any effort) than Adora does or cares. Eventually they do talk about it when Catra takes a bit more of a parental role in Mara’s life and is trying to figure out what that entails.

⦁ There’s this tendency for people talking to kids to refer to their parents as “your mom” rather than like, their name which you would be using in any other context. Catra has had a secret rule — secret even to herself — that she’s going to keep Adora’s name and not do that “your mom” shit. Well, here she is doing that shit, and it’s because she feels a lot less like she needs to distance herself from Mara — and thus the concept of Adora having kids — than she did at first when Mara quite frankly terrified her.

⦁ “I didn’t remember your phone number-” a straight up lie, “-and I wasn’t about to go back home under any conditions to ask your parents what you were up to,” will turn out to be a lie.

Chapter 11:

⦁ “It’ll even look bad on Mara by the time of their next zoo visit.” Oh? Are you planning to be part of that visit, Catra?

⦁ (I am not personally a big fan of bucket hats but there are times when they look really cute — yes even on adults — Catra’s just a hater)

⦁ Catra’s description of how the magicat crowns work is actually how her mask works on her official doll. In the case of the magicat queens, though, the hooks were more like a fallback because the mask was made to be so perfect against their face its weight was distributed over the entire thing and the small hooks just kept it from getting out of place.

⦁ Catra’s freakout is very funny to me because kids will play with literally anyone they like but Catra has so little experience she thinks this is what fatherhood is. Not that she isn’t a Trusted Adult to Mara but most of her “signs” would be there whether or not they were dating.

⦁ “It’s also partially that she isn’t ever going to be a father to anyone, and thus using it has more joking distance that feels marginally more acceptable.” She’s a dad within six months lmao.

⦁ Being a parent doesn’t come naturally to a lot of people, and Catra is one of those, so for most of the fic you don’t really get to see her in “parent mode”, and I do worry where it leaves off some people will see her as not a good step-parent for Mara, but that’s a slow process for her to reach. The fic would have to drag out a lot longer before it could reach  the point where it’s natural for her. For most of the first year she feels like she’s horribly flailing during every interaction with Mara, and that doesn’t change with this chapter, but she does internally accept that this is a role she’s going to have and wants to take  up, so while she still jokes and occasionally slips up, she does love the kid and is doing her best.

Chapter 12:

⦁ I’m basically picturing the Home Alone house for Adora’s parents but I don’t remember it from the movie, I remember it from the LEGO set. So do with that what you will.

⦁ Marlena knows what she’s doing and she’s just trying to feel Catra out because she never would have pictured her becoming a parent in high school, but she also knows, both logically and from her phone calls with Adora, that Catra has grown a lot.

Original Outline:

I actually have my original idea for the fic still written down from a Discord conversation with a friend so here it is in its entirety:

vague idea is catra + entrapta are a hacker duo and they’re a thing. adora's organization is data compromised, forcing catra to get back in contact with her to help her fix it (vaguer idea is adora works for a nonprofit or something. dont hold me to that) like catra independently finds out there's a security vulnerability and is like fuck i have to be a good guy about this Maybe Catra tries to hack them to spy on adora because she misses her and then she gets way too much way too easily.

So yeah obviously a lot changed. Another idea was that Catra had to protect Adora from people trying to get her for… IDK, something Catra uncovered that Adora didn’t even know she knew (or at least didn’t realized was incriminating enough for people to want to cover it up), but I don’t really like writing action lol.

Everything changed because I had been wanting to write a single mom Adora fic too, just didn’t have anything written for it. In the initial version of Slipstream, I had no background for how they drifted apart, and the comphet backstory for the single mom Adora fic slotted nicely into Slipstream’s empty past, so I combined them so I could write both at once, especially because (as evidenced by how little was in the outline) I didn’t have any kind of ongoing plot after they reconnected that I actually wanted to write (again, action ideas are fun, but not for me to write). The new story gave me a lot more avenues to explore relationship dynamics as a big element for all the characters, and thus gave the QPR more relevance and let me portray something I think is kind of rare. Entrapta’s relationship with relationships in this fic is really personal to me and it kind of stuck out as a little out of place in the old idea, but in this version of the fic it works into the overall themes of relationships, self-denial, and accepting that what satisfies you isn’t necessarily the thing that will make you happiest and that’s worth whatever risks are associated with it.

I want back and forth on the club chapter and the following revolving around a few points: should they actually kiss in the club or just come close, should they kiss in the kitchen, and should they get evolved enough in that kiss for Adora’s hand to reach Catra’s tail. I kind of knew the latter would be too far, but ultimately decided the first two were permissible within their rules.

Meta:

Adora’s floorplan

Upcoming:

Next up will be an OotW oneshot. I’m also working on the Lightbeam sequel fic, and lowkey another AU I’ve been teasing, but I don’t think I'll have time for them before Sapphic September starts and I chip away at some of those prompts, so we'll see what’s going to shove to the forefront first, so stay tuned IG lol

[heloflor]

Some info on how I view Cosmo and Wanda’s family lives, more specifically how they grew up and how the two of them meeting went, because again I’m obsessed with Cosmo being so powerful which brought some ideas for his upbringing and meeting with Wanda, which also brought some ideas for Wanda, and I didn’t want to clutter my baby fairies ban and magic abilities posts with it. So here is it now (6.5k words below):

TRIGGER WARNING: Talks of a character basically having depression for the Cosmo section with one sentence implying suicide idealization.

I’m going to start with Wanda since it’s much shorter.

First off, about her mom’s whereabouts, considering her dad is a mafia boss I’m going to go with her having been killed by one of Big Daddy’s enemies, likely when the girls were teenagers since Wanda complains about how their mom always liked Blonda more in “Blondas Have More Fun!” meaning they grew up with her, but at the same time I like the idea of her dying when her daughters are still pretty young (yeah very happy way to start a post, it gets worse in the Cosmo section).

Speaking of the mom liking Blonda more, I could see a situation of Big Daddy being closer to Wanda while his wife is closer to Blonda, though I don’t know if it’s just a question of the girls being more similar to the respective parent thus causing this closeness or if it’s one parent favoring a twin and the other parent deciding to favor the other one to “compensate”. And if it’s the second case, not sure which parent started it.

On that note I could see Wanda working for her father’s company before deciding to become a godparent, like for a while she didn’t know what to do with her life so she helped her dad. She didn’t do any mafia-related stuff tho, she was more of an employee/manager for his cleaning service. Big Daddy was supportive of her pursuing something she feels fits her more (fairies are immortal so it’s not like he needs to have a successor, granted there’s always the chance of him being assassinated).

Meanwhile Blonda doesn’t feel the same closeness to her father so she’d rather pursue her own goals, which I could see as related to their mom in some way. Like the mom probably wasn’t a star but might have been working within the show-business industry, and Blonda got an interest in acting from her and her career was launched through her mother’s connections. Oh and even if they’re not that close, Big Daddy is also supportive of Blonda’s dreams. Mafia or not, he loves his daughters.

More things that could be said about them, maybe after his wife’s passing Big Daddy became more protective of his daughters, thus leading to have some of his higher employees keep an eye on them during their late teens, which could explain Wanda being familiar with some of them in “Big Wanda”. At the same time though he might not want to involve his girls too much into his business so he might instead ask the guys to keep their distance in order to keep his daughters safe.

And speaking of men protecting women, I could see Big Daddy have a bit of a toxic view of what a man is supposed to be like, view that he gave to his daughters growing up hence why Wanda dated a macho guy like Juandissimo before realizing she just wasn’t as into him as she thought she would be.

Note that I don’t think Juandissimo was a toxic boyfriend or anything like that. Looking back at his episodes, he’s definitely very self-centered and dramatic which is probably why Wanda got tired of him, but he has a genuinely caring side (the whole thing with him going back to Remy in particular). He does need to get the goddamn hint post-breakup though. Just move on and go date Cupid my dude. He can match your dramatics.

Last thing about Juandissimo while I’m at it, in his debut episode he seems low-key scared of Cosmo during their first interaction (at least I don’t think he was acting), so I like to think that sometime after Cosmo and Wanda started dating, Juandissimo heard about it, challenged Cosmo to a duel or something, Cosmo at first didn’t want to bc he didn’t want to go to jail but Juandissimo was able to provoke him into it, Cosmo starts the duel holding back but eventually gets angry enough to let loose. Juandissimo has been afraid of him ever since, now fully aware of the raw power these noodle arms hold.

Giving one last headcanon for Wanda, since both her and Cosmo seem to know how to fight but I don’t particularly like the idea of fairy godparents undergoing military training during their studies; I’m more into Wanda mentioning “four years at the fairy academy” in “Abra-catastrophe”, meaning those are more “regular” studies. It’s especially funny when considering if you start at 18 you become a fully-fledged godparents at 22, which checks out with Peri if he aged at the same speed as humans.

(For those asking “Operation Birthday Takeback” has Cosmo mention Vicky hurting kids “since 2001” while one of the creators confirmed New Wish took place in 2024. Plus in “Abra-catastrophe” it’s been one year since Timmy had his fairies, and “Fairly Oddbaby” takes place three seasons later. So if Timmy got his fairies in 2001, Poof/Peri was born in 2002 meaning he’d be 22 in 2024, which would check out with him going to fairy academy for four years starting at 18, at least if that’s how the academy works. Though there’s also the possibility that 2001 is when Vicky first got hired by the Turners, meaning Timmy got his fairies in 2002 and Peri is actually 21, born in 2003.)

At the same time, we know Cosmo went to military school at some point which justifies his ability to fight. So for Wanda, I’m simply going with the idea of her father giving her some self-defense training, especially given his profession. Wouldn’t want to lose his daughters the same way he did his wife.

Not sure which would be the better fighter between Cosmo and Wanda though, since I could see Big Daddy take it pretty seriously (thinking of “Most Wanted Wish” and how good Wanda is at the competition; also funny to think about how her, Cosmo and Jorgen are the last three standing when again taking the idea of godparents not having mandatory military training, meaning those three were possibly the ones with the best self-defense training). Big Daddy could even teach her some backhanded/dirty tricks that would make her more unpredictable.

Meanwhile Cosmo is Cosmo and we know he struggles to focus sometimes, but at the same time he’d have gone through a lot more training in an environment made for it. Plus he’s op as hell. So I guess which one is stronger depends on the type of fight, more specifically on whether it relies on magic or wits.

Now moving onto the Cosmo stuff, and long story short since his birth things were a mess. From his destructive nature from birth, his terrible two, Anti-Cosmo’s birth and quick rise to power, all of which led to the baby ban. On top of that, as mentioned in my baby ban post I see Cosmo as the first op fairy in a very long time, meaning his strength was a complete surprise to everyone. And with how destructive his magic is, it wasn’t a good one.

All of this would be the main reason why Mama Cosma is so protective and overbearing. Between the destruction and the baby ban, she would constantly be criticized for giving birth to Cosmo (huge fan of T4T Coswan, which means the whole “male fairies carry the baby” isn’t actually true). Hell maybe the Fairy Council tried to take him away like Jorgen does to Poof in “Fairly Oddbaby”, which would make her even more protective.

The loss of her husband wouldn’t help either. Like I could definitely see their relationship as not being exactly healthy given the kind of person Mama Cosma is (imagine Papa Cosma as one of those parents who know their spouse is a piece of shit but they try to excuse this behavior, thus enabling it), but losing him would still be a shock, especially with two kids to raise, one of which is a walking apocalypse.

On that note the way I see it, when Papa Cosma was turned into a fly, his wife ended up more focused on getting the wand back than she was in making sure her husband was still in her sights. So by the time she got Cosmo under control, she had no idea where he was. And while there would definitely be a search party, and I’m not even sure if he’ll ever be considered dead or “just” missing, ultimately the man was never seen again.

But yeah all of this led Mama Cosma to become overprotective of Cosmo, which in turn led her to neglect Schnozmo who started acting out for attention, quickly becoming a thief. And since he still wasn’t getting anything from his mom, he kept doing it until it eventually led him onto the path to become a con artist.

Now I was wondering a bit about the age difference between the two brothers as I want them to grow under the same roof for the above-mentioned headcanon of Schnozmo being neglected, but also looking at the show Schnozmo doesn’t really have anything against Cosmo, so I could see him be mature enough to realize his mom’s the problem (granted the show takes place thousands of years later so they had more than enough time to talk things out). Also with fairies being immortal, who knows what the “usual” age difference between siblings is.

So ultimately I’m going with them being about 12-13 years apart, on top of adult fairies usually staying quite a while at their parents’ home since again they’re immortal. Like at minimum a fairy would spend the first 50 years of their life living with their parents, probably longer. Peri in New Wish is an exception due to growing up as the only child in a society of adults and feeling babied by everyone (Jorgen, who is literally his boss, calls him “Peri-Weri” in “Lost in Fairy World”, like his fucking boss is babying him). So he encouraged his parents to take their vacation soon after he became an adult and quickly got his own place as well, both in an attempt to prove himself as a responsible adult.

Going back on topic, the way I see it Cosmo and Schnozmo started off very shaky. First off due to their father’s death which I’m sure Schnozmo did not take well, and it probably took a long time for him to forgive his brother for it, that is if he ever forgave him (I could see him still hold that resentment, he just doesn’t voice it).

Then you have the usual “siblings mess with each other” shenanigans which he can’t really do since his brother doesn’t even need a wand to use his magic due to how powerful he is, so good luck messing with him. I could actually see some scenarios of older teen Schnozmo allowing Cosmo to come with him meet his friends (or Mama Cosma is like “take your brother with you I need a break!”) but only if he does cool stuff with his magic for them. It would probably usually not end well, tho not in an “almost destroyed Fairy World” kind of way thankfully.

Oh and it goes without saying that whenever the two of them argue or mess with each other, Mama Cosma sides with Cosmo, which would only make Schnozmo angry and resentful. In general Schnozmo and Mama Cosma would have a very bad relationship. Given how Mama Cosma is, Schnozmo was likely already closer to his dad, but once Cosmo got in the picture and Papa Cosma was gone, it became a mess. Like I could definitely see instances of Mama Cosma being tired and stressed from watching over a baby Cosmo and taking it out on her older son, constantly ignoring his problems and needs because “can’t you see how exhausted I am having to deal with your dysfunctional brother?!”

And who knows maybe she would have considered kicking him out at some point but decided against it to hide the fact her family’s been breaking apart (keeping up appearances in front of other fairies). On that note I do think Schnozmo would go no-contact with his mom once he moves out, only popping back up in her life if he needs something. Not sure how often she’d accept though.

Going back to the brothers, I think what would change Schnozmo's view would be Cosmo’s teenage years in which his struggles with his magic would become much more obvious, making Schnozmo realize how much of a mess his brother actually is and how much he cares for Cosmo deep down, not wanting to lose him. Now ultimately a lot of their adult relationship have to do with Schnozmo using Cosmo’s kindness and naivete against him, but even then I think he’ll come through if Cosmo needs him.

And speaking of Cosmo’s teen years, Cosmo did not have a good time at school, in any grade. The adults in his life (both in and out of school) either hate him for the destruction he causes + the baby ban or fear him for his powers. His classmates wouldn’t be better, mainly being cautious about him even if he didn’t do anything (their parents would warn them to be careful around him) or some fairies would bully him until he strikes back and then play the victim, getting Cosmo in trouble since “you’re the strongest here you need to be careful!”

His intelligence would also be something he’d get picked on for, with some adults really not helping by calling him a waste of potential, talking about how powerful he is and “how much of a shame it is that so much power was given to someone so stupid who can’t use it properly”.

On that note, I honestly think Cosmo has some sort of learning disability. I mean, in his own words in “Apartnership!” the first Mama Cosma episode, “I’m not smart. Big words confuse me. I have the attention span of a rodent.” and we do see him struggle on several occasions with not understanding words in the og show. Also in “Lost and Founder’s Day” from New Wish he struggles with the spelling of a word, and in “Operation Birthday Takeback” isn’t explicitly told what Dale is doing and figures it out like 30 seconds after Wanda and Peri, with Wanda even making a comment about it (while swooning which is very cute!).

So yeah, while I see him as a prodigy when it comes to using magic (in “This is Your Wish” we see him be able to do incredible things as a kid and he’s clearly doing them on purpose without breaking a sweat), he definitely has a learning disability when it comes to academic stuff, especially when it comes to words from the looks of it.

Tbh you could make a very strong case for Cosmo being neurodivergent, especially adding in the several instances of characters telling him to focus in the og show or just the fact his main issue with magic is the way he understand wishes or the things that come through his brain. Again, in “This is Your Wish” he knows exactly what he’s doing, his train of thought is just different than what’s expected on top of him not realizing the danger of the things he creates.

Also I can’t remember the episode but I saw a scene with him and Wanda talking followed by Wanda and Timmy, and while these two talk Cosmo is just staring off into the distance, completely immobile except for the usual “fairy hovering”, seemingly zoned out. And unlike other instances of him doing that I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a joke in that scene.

So yeah, this man’s probably neurodivergent hence him using his magic in an “unconventional” way, on top of having a learning disability that causes him to struggle with words and be slow to process some information if it’s not explicitly said to him. And when you have those struggles paired with the ability to bend reality to your will by accident, it’s hard.

Another thing about school which would be eerie for him is the fact that he’d start first grade in a school full of fairies, and by the end of middle-school there’s only a single grade left since he’s the last fairy born. So the last year of school he would walk through empty halls and classrooms, meeting teachers who constantly worry about finding new jobs what with the school clearly about to close. This would probably be something that he wouldn’t be picked up for but is still a constant reminder that he’s the reason fairies can’t have kids anymore.

By the way small word about ages but the way I see it the second youngest fairy before Cosmo would be between a week and a few months older (depend if the Fairy World population is in the thousands or the millions), so there are fairies around Cosmo’s age.

And since I’m at it I’ve seen screenshots from an episode showing him and Cupid being in high school together, and I also headcanon him and Wanda as having a bit of an age gap, for example Cosmo being 93 and Wanda 132 years old when they met, something along those lines. So in my headcanon Cosmo and Wanda didn’t go to school together but Cosmo and Cupid did. Also Wanda and Juandissimo were high-school sweethearts, meaning they’re around the same age (tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if the episode showing Cosmo and Cupid also had Wanda at their school but even if that’s the case I’m choosing to ignore it here).

Getting into Cosmo’s teen years, it was though. The bullying and feelings of inadequacy were starting to pile up, along with him fully realizing what “you accidentally killed your father, destroyed Fairy World and probably killed a few fairies doing so, and even though you were a baby at that time who had no idea what he was doing we still think it’s your fault we can’t have babies anymore” truly means. Like the sheer weight of such information must be devastating. Add to it the mess that are teenage hormones and you get someone in a very bad mental space.

Now to give some explanation about my headcanons for magical backup since I’m about to mention it a few times, in “Fairy For a Day” from New Wish, the music fairy makes a comment saying “keep granting each other wishes”, something like that.

So my idea is that magical backup is something every single fairy can suffer from if they don’t use magic to help others for an extended period of time. I would say “if they don’t use magic period other than stuff like teleportation, floating and shape-shifting (aka anything they can do without wands)” but in that case I feel like magical backup wouldn’t be an issue in the slightest. So yeah instead we’re going with them having to help others, especially since in “OddPirates” Wanda wishes to Poof at some point to help him learn, showing fairies can wish to other fairies.

All this to say fairies help each other out in small ways, and if they don’t they fucking die. And considering Cosmo and Wanda seem almost unable to refuse granting their godchildren wishes (at least in the og show, in New Wish you almost never have the “wand deflating” thing because they know beforehand they can’t grant those wishes), on top of scenes like the one in “Apartnership!” when Timmy says “I wish” and dozens of fairies show up, I could see it as fairies being able to refuse wishing for another fairy but being completely unable to do so when a miserable human child does, for reasons I’m too lazy to figure out (probably something about their society needing humans to function to some extent thus having fairies evolve in a way that they need to help humans).

Also I have no idea if magical backup would spread quicker if a fairy has more magic. I guess it’s worth pointing out that for both instances of Cosmo and Wanda getting it, Cosmo was first and it evolved quicker, but then again Wanda wasn’t too far behind. So idk, maybe it does?

Going back to Cosmo, during his teenage years and early adulthood, he would very often suffer the early symptoms of magical backup (confetti + vomiting the way I see it), sometimes worse, due to him refusing to use his magic in fear of hurting other people. In some instances he might even make comments about how Fairy World would be better off without him. Btw this is basically when I see Schnozmo realize just how terrible his brother feels and start being nicer to him. But yeah, Cosmo was in a very bad place as a teen, which continued in early adulthood.

(Side note but him having magical backup so many times could explain him not taking it too seriously at first in the og show, with him pretending to have it for a few seconds to mess with Wanda.)

And throughout all of this Mama Cosma was supportive, telling him there was nothing wrong with him and the others were messing with him and that he should use his magic in small ways if only to keep himself safe...until she didn’t and sent him to boot camp as soon as he was of age.

I like to think that this is when Cosmo started detaching himself from his mom. Just seeing her go overnight from “I love you just the way you are” to “everybody else was right and I’ve been thinking of you as a problem since your birth, I just didn’t want to deal with making you sad” would be a massive betrayal in his eyes.

Note that I believe Mama Cosma sending him to military training is actually a good thing, and pretty much the one good thing that woman did in the show. Given how much destruction we see Cosmo cause, and since as far as we know there aren’t exactly places that could provide the help he needs, a place with strict rules and monitored by potentially very powerful fairies could be the second-best thing to teach him what not to use his magic for.

Btw if you’re wondering I think the best thing for Cosmo would be to have a place where he can use his magic in whatever way he wants without putting anyone or anything at risk. More on that later actually. Second best would be to give him a wand restricting his magic but also I don’t think it would feel good to have something blocking what is supposed to feel natural for you, so it might not be a good solution actually…

In any case, having Mama Cosma reveal she’s been unhappy with her son’s powers this whole time, meaning she’s been lying to him this whole time, would hurt a lot, causing Cosmo to start drawing away from her. On top of that he was now almost an adult so it was also natural for him to seek some independence, even while still living under her roof.

Now onto Cosmo and Wanda’s early relationship (no idea how to make a transition here).

First off, I’m going with the backstory in which the two of them met at a diner, except neither of them were teenagers in my version. As mentioned before Cosmo would be in his late 90s and Wanda around early 130s.

And since I don’t think I mention it anywhere else in this post, I’m going with the headcanon of Cosmo being 10 000 years old during the og show, with him and Wanda being married for 9 895 years as of “Apartnership!” (that’s the number, right?). Which is also why Cosmo is in his late 90s when meeting Wanda, since it means he’d be 105 when they get married (or around that age if you consider that Cosmo is probably not exactly 10 000 years old in the show, rather something like 10 014 for example).

Cosmo would land himself a job as a waiter since he doesn’t need to use magic for it. He’d even let his wand home to further reassure his boss that he’s not doing any magic. He and Wanda meet when Wanda and Blonda come to the place to hang out. Wanda realizes he’s cute and finds herself surprised by it since as mentioned before she was raised with a toxic view of what a man is supposed to be like.

(More specifically I could see Blonda as being the one pointing him out and he accidentally spills a drink on her or something, causing Wanda to be like “oh you’re right sis I like him”.)

Wanda would convince him to go out with her, intrigued by that shy boyfailure trying his best, and during that hangout Cosmo would be pretty closed off, not using any magic partly because he didn’t bring his wand, offhandedly mentioning he got magical backup dozens of times, and by the end of it he’d be like “you’re very smart and pretty and spending time with you was very fun but it’s probably best if we don’t see each other again”.

After the “date” Wanda would talk about it to Blonda who’d probably mock her sister for scaring the guy away. Big Daddy would overhear some of the conversation and recognize Cosmo’s name as the infamous last fairy born whose terrible two almost caused the apocalypse. Wanda and Blonda would be flabbergasted because “dad that guy’s a complete wimp, what do you mean he’s one of the strongest fairies?!” and Wanda would quickly catch onto the fact that this sweet guy is considered a menace, goes around without a wand and has magical backup on the regular, all of which are not good signs.

She’d manage to convince Cosmo to meet her to talk and would just ask him if he’s okay, if he needs someone to talk to. And I could see Cosmo being very taken aback by it, like when he shows up Wanda says she knows about him being the last baby born so he’d immediately assume she’s here to tell him to stay away from her. But no she’s just worried for him and wants to offer some comfort. And with Cosmo at that point having lost trust in his mom, the only person he thought was in his corner, he’d open up to Wanda.

So the two of them would start spending time together, as friends since Cosmo clearly isn’t in the proper state to think about dating right now, though I like to think Wanda was pursuing him a little, if only making him know she’d be interested. But anyways Wanda would quickly catch onto the fact Cosmo never has his wand when they’re together and whenever she suggests he uses hers because it worries her to see him never do magic, he’d refuse, saying it’s safer that way.

Then one day while hanging out Cosmo gets the early signs of magical backup and Wanda doesn’t know what worries her most, seeing him have it or how calm he is about it, which shows how used to it he is. Doesn’t help that he’d insist she brings him home rather than have him use her wand to get rid of it immediately before it gets worse.

That would be the last straw for Wanda who would go to the people her dad works with (her “uncles”) to ask if they know any place where one could use their magic in possibly destructive ways without consequences. And one of them would tell her about the Hocus Poconos, a place where goes all the un-granted wishes from human children. As a result the place is pretty chaotic to begin with and nobody cares what happens to those wishes so it’s fully unsupervised.

So Wanda would waste no time telling Cosmo about that place, convincing him to bring his wand this time around, and after a lot of hesitation and some small wishes he’d start getting more comfortable and unleash his powers, growing visibly more confident. And dumb small note but seeing Cosmo in his element and visibly confident in himself is when Wanda sees him go from cute to hot.

In any case Cosmo would be incredibly grateful and start coming to the Hocus Poconos regularly on his own, feeling a sense of freedom in being able to unleash as much magic as he can while also finding himself loving kids’ imagination, which eventually leads him onto the path to become a godparent.

For Wanda, it’s after seeing Cosmo get better that she realizes how much she enjoys helping others and offer companionship and could see it become her profession. Also maybe the fact the Fairy Council wouldn’t be too keen on letting Cosmo on earth without supervision could influence it as well (meanwhile everyone would think they’re allowed to work together due to being a couple), but then again I don’t want it to be a “she chose this work solely for Cosmo” type of situation.

Same with her helping him with his confidence btw, hence me saying he’d go back to Hocus Poconos on his own. While Cosmo would definitely gush about Wanda saving his life, she didn’t “fix” him or anything like that. She was someone he could talk about his problems to and offered suggestions for things she thought could help him, but he still was the one who had to follow through on his own. And whenever Wanda had issues of her own, he’d return the favor, being there to comfort and help her.

And about him saying Wanda saved his life, after a while of using his magic more and more often, he’d think about how, if he hadn’t met someone like her to encourage him to use his magic without being afraid, he’d probably have either died of magical backup or from its side effects from having it too often. At the same time I’m not going to say “him thinking this is why he fell in love with Wanda” because again I don’t want to fall into the trap of a character “fixing” another or putting them on a pedestal.

Back on topic, having a place to spend his magic would do wonders for Cosmo’s self-esteem, giving him space to try new things, make mistakes or even just create a black hole or two if he feels like it. That doesn’t mean he’d suddenly be completely fine, he’d still feel self-conscious about people hating him for his magic (and tbh just looking at the og show Cosmo comes off as deeply insecure at times, so yeah he’s not suddenly all happy), but it would definitely put him into a better mental state.

Also, feeling more confident he’d start to reciprocate Wanda’s flirting, pursuing her back. And yeah as a result it would be one of those relationships where you significant other is also your best friend.

As for the “speed” of their relationship, I could see the transition from friends to lovers as being a bit slow due to them wanting to make sure this is truly what they both want and not just Cosmo lashing onto the first person he trusts, plus Wanda’s family life is dangerous so she wants Cosmo to make sure he knows what he’s getting himself into. But once their relationship gets serious there’s no stopping it.

And speaking of stopping it, Mama Cosma would notice that her son isn’t having magical backup anymore, causing him to tell her it’s thanks to a girl he’s into, even invite Wanda to dinner so she can meet his mom. Mama Cosma would not be happy about it and would be incredibly passive-aggressive during their meeting, with Wanda keeping the visit short as a result and Cosmo being pretty unhappy seeing how insistent his mom is that he shouldn’t date anyone.

On that note Mama Cosma could be another reason why they took it slow at first, Wanda made it clear she wasn’t having any “mamma’s boy” bullshit. It’s a bit more complicated during the events of the og show since it’s been a long time since Cosmo saw his mom and he believes (and promises to Wanda it’s the case) that his mom’s just being a bit protective due to how long it’s been. Then one day it turns out she was being verbally abusive when babysitting Peri and Cosmo cut contact again and profusely apologized to Wanda for letting his mom talk so much shit about her.

But yeah Cosmo would probably have many fights with his mom about it, Mama Cosma claiming it’s only a matter of time before Cosmo does something to scare Wanda away with his magic and how she’s the only one who can watch over him, while Cosmo is throwing in her face the fact she sent him to military school while Wanda loves him the way he is and is trying to help him in a much more constructive way.

I could actually see those arguments as a bit of a surprise to Mama Cosma because not only does Cosmo find his mom intimidating meaning he usually doesn’t speak out against her, but in general Mama Cosma would be used to getting her way, especially with him. The fact Cosmo is much more powerful than her would also bother her because she can’t just force him to go to his room or anything else. And if he does something to leave the conversation, she can’t stop him. So yeah those arguments wouldn’t be pretty.

And eventually, when Cosmo has to make the choice, he decides to chose Wanda, eloping in secret and never having any contact with his mom, at least until the events of the og show. There would likely be times when he deeply misses her but he remembers why he left home and that’s enough to keep him away.

For Wanda, she never straight up told her father that her and Cosmo were dating, she made it sound like they were nothing more than friends and if anything she works with Cosmo to “supervise” him (in Big Daddy’s first appearance we learn Wanda writes him letters so the two are still in touch). Big Daddy still wouldn’t be too happy about it tho, especially later on during the og show when he learns that they are a couple.

His issues with it are that 1. Cosmo isn’t exactly the height of masculinity so Big Daddy can’t help but look down on him for not being manly enough (I actually like to think this is why he believed Wanda’s lie that they weren’t a couple; he couldn’t conceive the possibility of Wanda dating such a guy) and 2. He remembers Cosmo’s Terrible Two very well and is worried about him hurting Wanda with his magic. Especially since him being a mafia boss means his daughter already got a target on her back, he doesn’t want her to be in even more risk.

(Note that Wanda was already a late teen/adult when Cosmo’s terrible two happened, so she at least heard of it and saw some of the consequences, but she likely didn’t see the worst of it; like maybe Big Daddy lives pretty far from the city center of Fairy World and had his daughters stay home during Cosmo’s terrible two while he was forced to continue working, hence seeing more than his girls)

(And if it needs to be said Big Daddy’s issues with Cosmo not being masculine enough have nothing to do with transphobia. Big Daddy would be fully accepting of Wanda and possibly Blonda (if they’re identical twins) being trans women and couldn’t care less about what Cosmo has in his pants. His problem is that Cosmo isn’t muscular, cries easily, is a bit of a cowards, and likes to wear stereotypically feminine clothing sometimes, none of which is related to Cosmo being trans.)

Ultimately he��s not as openly hostile as Mama Cosma but he definitely acts like Cosmo isn’t here when seeing him. And whenever Wanda comes to visit her dad, he doesn’t mention Wanda’s love life in any way and brushes it off quickly if Wanda does, or he shifts the conversation towards his grandson instead once Peri’s born. Note that I see Wanda as visiting her father without Cosmo, mainly for Cosmo’s safety because mafia.

Oh and Cosmo never met the guy before the og show but he did know who he was from hearing about him from Wanda + possibly knowing his company’s name. Wanda would have also warned him about the mafia part hence why Cosmo is so nervous and visibly scared of the guy in the show. He might not be the brightest bulb but he understands the danger this man brings with him.

Finishing this post with a few words about Poof/Peri, when Cosmo was pregnant he would have had some worries over how powerful the kid would end up being, wishing to protect his baby from the emotional mess he went through. And while the kid is more powerful than average, Cosmo was infinitely relieved to see Peri remains much weaker than him.

That’s not to say it’s all sunshine and rainbows, again I go further into it in the baby ban post but the short version is that the Fairy Council is keeping an eye on Peri on account of being Cosmo’s son, including giving him a wand that reduces his magic despite him technically not needing it.

Cosmo isn’t the biggest fan of that wand but he’d rather have this than Peri going through hell for being too powerful. Meanwhile Wanda’s getting tired of Fairy World punching down on her boys. On that note once fairies realized the baby ban wasn’t going away anytime soon and started to hate on the Fairywinkle-Cosmas, Coswan quickly decided they’d move out of Fairy World once Peri’s old enough to take care of himself, hence the 10 000 years vacation followed by them “moving” to the human world.

(Note that they would invite Peri to their vacation + send him postcards + look for him after coming back, it’s just that Peri refused to go so he could have some time for himself + turned off the wand location thing, probably also left a message at home saying he found a job and is doing fine, hence why they weren’t too worried for him)

That being said (the wand restriction thing) I could definitely see Peri at some point hurting someone at spellementary school (which would be before he got his wand change) and deciding not to use his magic anymore, leading to him and Cosmo having a heart-to-heart about their magics.

Tbh this could also be a reason why Peri seems closer to Cosmo, maybe they bonded over being deemed too powerful. That being said Cosmo wouldn’t tell his son the extent of his situation, not wanting to worry him. Especially since he’d be doing much better now and is genuinely happy so there’s no point dwelling on the bad parts of his past.

[izartn]

On Blue Lock, Episode Nagi movie:

It was like one of those outsider pov fics from a secondary character pov but official. Given that's one of my fave genres of fic amd I knew that about the movie coming in I enjoyed the perspective it offered, and also the melodrama of NagiReo xD

Also why was the ost so much better than in the anime itself? Did I blitz too quickly through the episodes? It made the kinda recap this was, entertaining as it got, much better. Why XD I hope that ost is in season 2.

Liked how NagiReo were the last ones to cross that door and that Ego had to bait Ngi into it. Would have messed up his 300 teens plan for Blue Lock is these two refused lol though I think he was absolutely prepared for that. Funny how Nagi is the one who gets the Blue Lock mentality despite being the reluctant of the pair.

I loled at how little the other guys in V mattered though, and at the replay of the match against Z, Nagi getting more and more fixated in Isagi and football for himself, to Reo alarm and happiness respectively.

I am not the only one who thinks Nagi is/was depressed due to a lack of challenge and isolation in his life, right? That whole, leave me I don't want to even try, just want to stay in my comfort zone idling the days away....

Going to other matters....

Also. Why did that Isagi and Bachira separation at Stage 2 look 100% more gay than it was in the anime? I swear it was the typical Shonen friendship on the season. Ah I know. Because Nagi, BL character that he is, was there remembering himself and Reo in rosy flashbacks. Hilarious taking what happened just before between them. But then Nagi is confident on their friendship in a way that Reo just isn't.

The contrast between their mental states re:change are so fucking funny in a sad way too. Reo is so insecure, compared to Nagi, I guess it comes from his family reputation and money being all he was before he meet Nagi and so he's insecure about his own merits but really. He's coping about as well as my bestie in HS did to her situationship with another girl collapsing when she was 14, that's the level of gay ass failing were talking about. That Nagi just didn't voice aloud the emotional reassuring parts to Reo during the breakup was so teenage boy of him, he just thinks he's being clear enough and then, everybody else can see Reo is just. Not manging it well. Love that they just fucking went pass Nagi being brutal to Reo on the 3vs3, like. Yes this is Nagi PoV the movie no you don't get to see what the fuck was he thinking. I personally imagine he was trying to like, do a reverse psychology on Reo, but it didn't work(?) (except it kinda did) bc Nagi has a 0 in interpersonal communication. Who knows though. Maybe the manga?

Anyways I'm really happy about that post-credits and additional time! So season 2 is gonna start from the jump after the 50 days timeskip, huh? Not surprised at all by who I saw there as the starting 11 for the U-20 match, of course our protags and company are there.

That after all the movie they end up bringing it back to NagiReo kinda having maked up, and Reo having friends/rivals telling him to quit the sad face, they're gonna be the best is soooo funny. Yes Reo you have friends, you're there on the 25 of 300 even if you're on the sidelines right now, relax XD Happy for him he seems to get friends other than Nagi, he needs more than a (boy)cough(bestie) friend.

And that was it!!! Thanks to @ashen-sky for telling me to wait for the post credits! Very appreciated given almost my whole sala walked out.

[allamericansbitch]

Im asking your opinion because I myself don't know how to feel. Taylor keeps saying she doesn't want her work to be about her exes but then keeps throwing "winks" at fans like am I supposed to believe she didn't know "Blue Dress on A Boat" would make fans immediately associate that song with HS? Am I supposed to pretend she didn't mean for people to see that she liked that old tweet? Am I supposed to pretend the multiple synchronized unfollows were all a coincidence? Am I supposed to pretend she didn't know it would make headlines when she got on stage and said 'I love you, you know who you are' admist the Matty rumors?

Media outlets aren't doing research on every single thing taylor does, fans are. That's where the articles come from, news articles are basically just a bunch of tweets/tiktoks on a list format nowadays. So if she says she doesn't want this kind of attention why does she keep doing it?

It reminds me of the time she went to the Ellen show and roasted Joe Jonas for dumping her over the phone (she also edited a Myspace post about him to imply he cheated), he had to make multiple statements about it. I'm not in the business of defending Joe Jonas and Taylor was a teenager back then, it's just that sometimes it feels like not much has changed. Her last public breakup was with Calvin Harris and look how that went. He did literally tweet that she should just leave him alone if she's happy in a new relationship.

I just don't know what to think. It feels very juvenile. I'm too old to think it's cool to be subtweeting people for drama, making sure to be photographed with the girls and then they all go home to unfollow the ex. I think I need to take a break from her again. It felt like we were finally done with the "Joever" comments and there she goes again, in my eyes it just makes Joe Alwyn look better because he has said absolutely nothing about her.

.

ps: fans say she is a mastermind that does everything with intention but when we say 'hey maybe when she liked that tweet she should have known it would cause this' we're the crazy ones.

I’m in the exact same boat. She genuinely is just repeating history and the history is almost 10 years old at this point. She hasn’t really matured much and is feeding this parasocial beast she created. She very much knows her fanbase is immature and cares about this stuff and she takes advantage of it. And it sucks because it works every single time. No one recognizes the pattern of: break up, immediately start trashing them through ‘sources’ or directly in the media and start very public dating someone new and show them off like a trophy to make the ex look bad. All of it is exhausting and so immature and the fact that she’s a grown ass adult still behaving like she did when she was a teenager is crazy.

[scheodingers-muppet]

TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT (Stranger Things Version)

i have no clue why it took me this long, sorry guys

Fortnight: Jopper. “I was supposed to be sent away but they forgot to come and get me” “What about your quiet treason?” Joyce dating Bob. The references to spouses, “turned good neighbors”

Tortured Poets Department: Jancy. First part is from Jon’s pov. “you left your typewriter at my apartment” is such a Nancy line. “you’re in self-sabotage mode…but i’ve seen this episode and still love the show” Nancy self-sabotages a good bit, like with Steve or by fighting with Jonathan, etc. Second verse is Nancy. “You smoked than ate seven bars of chocolate” “I’ve read this one, where you come undone. I chose this cyclone with you” Both of them have seen each other at *lows,* spiraling and just doing bad, but they stick together and love each other

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys: Mileven. Mike and his Wheeler Self Destruct Button (ie closing himself off) “he saw forever so he smashed it up” forever not even as like, them being together forever but even the fear that she’s always going to be connected to the upside down. “once i fix me, he’s gonna miss me” reminds me of El and Max at the mall

Down Bad: El. “just to do experiments on” “everything comes out teenage petulance” she is soooo teen girl. this one is mostly vibes, honestly

So Long, London: Mileven, from El's POV. "I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist" "Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away" "Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill" "I didn't opt in to be your odd man out" El being excluded in season 3. "How much sad did you think I had in me? How much tragedy?" "You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?"

But Daddy I Love Him: Steddie. The imagery of people seeing the singer (Steve) as socially above the love interest due to him being "crazy" and "chaotic." The town being against him, like in season 4. "I'll tell you something about my good name. It's mine alone to disgrace"

Fresh Out The Slammer: Jancy. "Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to" "Splintered back in winter," (Fall but) "Silent dinners" and Nancy breaking down over Barb in season 2, which is part of what led to her and Steve splitting up. "He didn't understand me" but Jonathan did

Florida!!!: the Bylers leaving Hawkins. “Little did you know your homes really only a town you’re just a guest in” Will and Jon were never really accepted, outside of a few people. “You pack you’re life away just to wait out the shitstorm back in Texas” Hawkins in this case, and Flordia would be California

Guilty As Sin?: beginning of Jancy, from Nancy’s pov. “this cage was once just fine” her relationship with Steve. the whole song is about wanting someone else while in a relationship.

Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?: El. “my bare hands paved their path” “crash the party like a record scratch” “i was tame, i was gentle til the circus life made me mean” the circus life being the rainbow room. “they say they didn’t do it to hurt me, but what if they did?” “you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me” “I am what I am cause you trained me”

I Can Fix Him: Steddie, from Steve’s pov. "They shake their heads saying 'God help *her*'" the entire town hates Eddie. "His hand, so calloused from his pistol, softly traces hearts on my face" Eddie's hands would be literally calloused, from the guitar, but also it's a good metaphor for him having to be tough due to his circumstances, yet still being soft and gentle with the person he loves.

loml: Jopper, from Joyce's pov before they had Hopper back. "Who's going to stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames?" "Thought I better safe than starry-eyed" "I wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all" "Should've let it stay buried" "you're the loss of my life"

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart: Nancy and El. "I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit" El has the more breakup-oriented side of things, but Nancy's broken heart stems from losing Barb. The second verse hits for that. "I keep finding *his* things in drawers, crucial evidence I didn't imagine the whole thing" "all the pieces of me shattered while the crowds were chanting 'more!'" works for both.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: Max about Billy. Hear me out. "You tried to buy some pills from a friend of friends of mine" if Billy was still alive i just KNOW he would try to buy from Eddie. "I just want to know if rusting my sparking summer was your goal" Billy was awful to Max. "Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?" "In 50 years will all this be declassified, and you'll confess why you did it" "You deserve prison but you won't get time" "You are what you did. I'll forget you but I'll never forgive" I think it's safe to say Max has very complex emotions about Billy, still loving him for what he could have been, but still being really hurt and effected but his actions that cause a weird grief that I think this song conveys rather well

The Alchemy: Lumax, from Max's pov. This is gonna get kinda cheesy, stick with me. "The hospital was a drag, worst sleep I ever had" "Haven't come around in so long, but I'm coming back so strong" Max has been distant with Lucas but we finally see her starting to warm back up before Vecna gets her. The sports metaphors also fit. Wrong sport, obviously but ya know. "The sign on your heart says it's still reserved for me"

Clara Bow: Nancy and Karen. I think Karen was once a lot like Nancy. (i have not seen anything about the musical so I have no clue if that's canon but) and I think she sees a lot of herself in Nancy. The constant comparison to the women that came before you and you being the next great thing. Knowing someone will come after you, too. "Only when your girlish glow flickers just so do they let you know it's hell on earth to be heavenly"

The Black Dog: Byler, from Will's pov. "I move through the world with my heartbroken. My longings stay unspoken" "You said I needed a brave man then proceeded to play him until I believed it too" Mike was the one who spearheaded saving Will, even when he was scared. "Remember how my rain-soaked body was shaking"

imgonnagetyouback: Steddie. Why? I decided. The tension of "I hate you but I want you" and not being able to decide which one is stronger is so them

The Albatross: El. "She's the albatross, she is here to destroy you" "Locked me up in towers but I'd visit in your dreams" "I'm the albatross, I swept in at the rescue"

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus: The Byers about Mike. "Hands in the hair of somebody in darkness...and I just watched it happen" Will about Mike, watching him get with El. "If you want to break my cold, cold heart, just say 'I love you the way that you were'" Mike confessing to Will would rock his world, and vice versa, but they've both been changed so much. "You said some things that I can't unabsorb" the “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” “too impaired by my youth to know what to do”

How Did It End?: joyce after hopper “died.” “lost the game of chance, what are the chances?” “guess who we ran into at the shops, walking in circles like she was lost” “my beloved ghost and me”

So High School: it could be stancy, but i like it being jopper. a lot of it can be applied to any of the couples during their good moments, but i think since joyce and hopper are *out* of high school and actually look back on their flirting in high school as nostalgic, it adds to it

I Hate It Here: karen. HEAR ME OUT. i think karen used to be *just* like nancy, with big dreams and ambition, used to be dedicated to her grades while still having a good social life, etc. and i think she misses that. “tell me something awful, like you’re a poet trapped inside the body of a finance guy” about ted, who used to be romantic when they were teens. “i was a debutant in another life but now i seem too scared to go outside” “no mid-sized city hopes” “only the gentle survived; i dreamt about it in the dark the night i felt like i would die”

thanK you aIMee: either el about the rainbow room or eddie about jason if he didn’t die and made it big

I Look in People’s Windows: jonathan. there’s the obvious joke, but genuinely. we don’t necessarily see him look for someone in specific, but i imagine this is how he felt after his dad left

The Prophecy: steve. both in terms of him finding love and breaking out of the jerk-popular-guy role/getting the upside down closed forever. mainly in the bridge for the latter.

Cassandra: el and joyce. verse one is season one joyce. “that’s where i was when i got the call” with will going missing. “when the truth comes out it’s quiet” the imagery of not being believed and being treated bad by the town. second verse is el, about the rainbow room. “in my tower weaving nightmares, twisting my smiles into snarls” “what doesn’t kill you makes aware but what happens when it becomes who you are?” bridge is both. “bloods thick but nothing like a payroll. bet they never spared a prayer for my soul” about the people working the rainbow room and the government keeping everything quiet.

Peter: byler, from wills perspective. “in closets like cedar preserved from when we were just kids. was it something i did?” “promises, ocean deep but never to keep” “a natural scene stealer” “life was always easier on you than it was on me” the BRIDGE

The Bolter: robin. i can’t really explain why but it is

Robin: nancy about holly

The Manuscript: joyce. once again, can’t fully explain it. but it is.

[mossyivy]

Hatred | '24 Alphabet Challenge

Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Summary: Prom night is supposed to be the greatest night of your teenage life... Right?

Words: 1.9k

Content Warning: Stancy mention, Jancy mention, past feelings mention, childhood friends, and unrequited love (Steve)

Prom night, supposedly one of the greatest nights of teenagers' lives. That's a sentiment Steve definitely wouldn't agree with, hanging out outside his own senior prom. He didn't even know why he bothered coming, knowing full well he'd see them together. Hand in hand, arm in arm, dancing to every cheesy slow song the DJ put on. As much as Steve tried to be supportive or ignore it...

He just wasn't over his ex-girlfriend yet.

But that didn't stop him from trying to be the bigger man in the situation. That's what Steve grew into being, the bigger person. No more being a total asshole for the sake of his own feelings. That's something Junior year Steve would do.

"Well, don't you just look so lively tonight." His trance breaks as he's approached by you, coming from the double doors of the Gym hallway not too far away.

"I'm not in the mood tonight."

Steve sounded both fed up and disgusted with your antics already. Even if this was just the first thing you said anything to him all day.

You lean against the cold brick gym wall. Feeling the rough bumps of the hard surface on your back and through your dress.

"Rough night, champ?" Steve sighs, rubbing his eyes, raw from a few minutes of being emotional.

"You don't know the half of it." Glancing over, he sees you for the first time. Admiring the floor length red dress, you always looked good in red. You looked good in everything, at least in his mind.

"Look at you, all dressed up and presentable for once." You smirk at his joke, making him chuckle and smile.

"I always look presentable thank you prick." Smirking to yourself before looking back at him.

"You look good in a tuxedo... Y'know, for you."

"Thanks for the backhanded compliment. Anything good from you is a rarity." You laugh, making him smile even wider. His eyes shift around the parking lot, watching cars pull in, and other kids come to join the party going on inside.

"What're you even doing out here by yourself? I thought you'd be in there with like 9 different girls trying to dance with you at once." He scoffs, fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

"You know, too many options beating down my door. Couldn't disappoint them all."

"Came stag too, huh?" He just nods in response, not saying anything as you both look up into the inky night sky. The only sound to fill the cold April night air was the crickets chirping and distant chatting of other students.

"Are you holding up okay? I saw them dancing inside and... I know the breakup was hard for you, so I just thought I'd check up on you..."

Steve let out a rough sigh, feeling like a complete idiot pining for his ex-girlfriend still. Being broken up for almost 5 months now. He couldn't let her go in his head, they were each other's first loves. At least she was to him.

All of that came crashing to a halt after everything back in November.

"If I'm being honest, no I'm not holding up okay."

"I know I'm not a therapist or anything..." You shrug, glancing back at him as you nervously chew on your thumbnail.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really. I've been talking to Dustin for months about it and no matter how much I try I can't get past it. Like Nancy's cast some kind of spell to stick with me or something." He sighs, looking at the asphalt as he swallows harshly.

"Now we can hardly make eye contact for more than 3 seconds before she turns away... God, she must hate me."

"Steve, she doesn't hate you. She's probably just feeling awkward about everything and trying to respect her new relationship by not hanging around her ex-boyfriend. They're just trying to find their footing as a couple." You reassure him, leaning over to give him a squeeze on his shoulder. Thinking about what he said, you shake your head, grinning at the thought of Dustin.

"And really Steve? Dustin. He's like 14 and barely knows how to handle having a crush yet. He's never even had a girlfriend yet. I know he's smart for his age, but c'mon."

"I know! He's just a great listener. He knows a lot for his age, it's actually kinda scary." You roll your eyes looking at the ground, starting to laugh to yourself.

"What?" His full attention is on you now, a small smile pulling at his lips as he watches you start to laugh harder.

"Nothing I just..." You cover your mouth, snickering again.

"I just never pictured myself giving you of all people a pep talk... You're you for crying out loud. Steven "The Hair" Harrington." You grin, bumping his arm with your elbow.

"King Steve... You're literally the most popular guy in the entire school, and I'm... Me." He shrugs, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's the fun thing. We're so different, so we can see our point of view while still seeing each other's... Plus, it's nice not having someone around trying to kiss my ass constantly."

"Yeah, I'll just kick your ass instead." You smirk, pressing off the wall, your heels click as you step in front of him.

"Look, I know it hurts now, but it'll pass eventually... And if I can be honest with you... You could do so much better than Nancy frickin' Wheeler."

Steve could feel his eyebrows shooting up in amusement as you got in front of him. For some odd reason, just standing there in your presence felt somewhat calming suddenly.

"Oh yeah? Who'd you have in mind then?"

"I don't know," you think for a second and shrug, "Farrah Fawcett? I think she'd think you were cute. Celebrity or not?"

"Farrah Fawcett? You think Farrah Fawcett, one of the most famous women alive, would want me?"

"Yeah! You're a hot guy, why wouldn't she?!" It's his turn to laugh now, shaking his head as he bites his lip.

"Where the hell would I even meet her?"

"I don't know! I thought we were talking hypothetically." Steve nodded, his face turning serious again.

"It's just... It's hard looking past Nancy, y'know. She was the first girl I ever loved."

"I'm aware, Steve. It's just not always the best thing to dwell on. I'm talking from experience." You bite the inside of your cheek and sigh. Nervous to be this honest, but if it helps get the point across, then so be it.

"Can I be honest with you about something?"

Steve looks at you, seeing how nervous you look to talk. His lips part slightly as he nods.

"Of course."

"I used to have a massive crush on Jonathan ages ago and when he started showing an interest in Nancy it killed me... But he's my friend, so I encouraged him. It killed me but I got over it."

You turn your head, looking up at the sky again, taking in the shining stars above the two of you. Feeling embarrassed about laying everything out there for someone you've barely gotten to know again.

"Took a while but time heals most wounds. So, just know I'm here for you because I know what it feels like... Kind of."

Steve felt your pain as you talked about how you couldn't be with Jonathan, and how that's basically how he felt about Nancy in all honesty.

Silence fell over the two of you as you both looked out to the sky, admiring the stars again. Steve looks over at you, feeling somewhat peaceful. Yet still wanting to ask so many questions.

"How'd you do it? Stay strong like that. I can barely be in a room with her right now."

"I talked to my family. That helped a lot... But I know you aren't the closest to your parents, so that's why I asked if you wanted to talk about it with me." You smile softly, lips turning up as you half shrugged at his question.

"I know we weren't always on the best of terms, but you're my friend and... I care about you."

"We're friends again?" His eyes seemed to light up almost, just like he was a little kid again. Over the past year he's felt like you two were bonding. But never wanted to ask out of fear.

Tension fills the air between you two. It's been this way since you two started becoming friends again. Going through hell together alongside the couple, Steve was trying to avoid like the plague.

"Well you know, when you nearly die fighting inner dimensional monsters together you tend to start caring about their well-being again... So, in a way, I guess we have to thank them for something at least."

Steve smirks before shaking his head.

"Part of me likes to think we'd be friends again someday."

"Who knows." You add, silence falling between you again. It's not long before Steve shifts, pushing himself off the wall and looking at you.

"So let’s say, hypothetically, that I was stuck at this stupid prom without a date and I had no one else to ask but you...”

"Mmm. Mmhm, hypothetically." You nod along, fighting back the urge to smirk.

"Go on."

Steve looked away for a second, collecting his thoughts. He takes a deep breath, turning back to you.

"And, hypothetically, I might need to spend our senior prom dancing, like my life depends on it, because it's possibly the last fun night before the rest of our lives."

"I'm starting to think you don't know what the word hypothetically means."

"Shush," he cuts you off, making you giggle before he continues, "now, hypothetically, would you be interested in dancing with me?"

You nod, looking like you were really thinking about it. As if you didn't know your answer already.

"Well, hypothetically," you play along, making sure to hold eye contact, "I might be inclined to say yes... If it wasn't a hypothetical, of course."

You rub your hand over your mouth, smirking behind it. He holds eye contact, faking a scoff as he stares.

"You're gonna make me ask?" You nod, tongue going to his cheek as he also nods.

"You're impossible, you know that?"

"I wouldn't be saying that to a girl you're about to ask to prom Steve." He chuckles, nodding. You got him there.

His expression shifts to a goofy grin as he sighs with a slight relief.

"You think you can survive the night without making fun of me?" He smirks, holding his hand out for you to grab, you smile back at him taking it gently. Giving him a reassuring squeeze.

"I don't know about the whole night, but I can sure try my best." Rolling his eyes, he pulls you into his side, lacing his arm around your waist.

You look up at him, your gaze meeting again. Taking in his deep brown eyes and soft smile brings... Old feelings from years ago bubble back up.

Your mouth opens to say something, anything at all. But the words won't come out as your heartbeat picks up speed.

That old crush you had on your old friend never really went away over all these years.

Or at least that's what you think at the moment.

[j0elmill3r]

Sarah comforting baby girl after boyfriend broke her heart

(No outbreak AU)

Pairing - Joel Miller x Daughter!Reader, Sarah Miller x Sister!Reader

Summary - Grown up baby girl experiences her first high school break-up with her shitty girlfriend.

CW - Breakups, heartbreak, angst, implied domestic abuse, toxic relationship

Word Count - 

A/N - Something a bit different! I hope everyone enjoys and as always, likes, reblogs and feedback is always appreciated! Baby girl is also queer because I said so :]

Joel Miller Masterlist

-

Joel and Sarah both snapped their heads up to the front door, confusion on their faces as you walked into the house, slamming the front door behind you as you stormed in and up the stairs. Joel turned to look at his oldest, visiting from college during her midterm break to see her father and younger sister, who appeared to be in a very emotional state. 

"That didn't sound good," Sarah said to Joel, flinching slightly at the sound of you slamming your bedroom door shut. "You should probably go check on her, dad." She advised him. Nothing much particularly scared Joel - but an exception could be made for teenage girls; specifically his teenage girls, but especially you as of late. He thought that the whole hormonal teenage girl thing ended when you would turn 17, but it had seemingly gotten worse since you'd gotten with your girlfriend. 

"That's terrifying, I love Y/N but she terrifies me," Joel admitted, rolling his eyes as Sarah started laughing. "Okay, okay, why don't you go on check on her? Since you seem so brave." He challenged her, watching as she thought about it before standing up from her position on the couch.

"Okay," She smiled and headed up to your bedroom, knocking gently on your door. "Y/N? Can I come in?" Sarah asked through the door, tentatively waiting for a response from you.

"Fuck off!" You yelled. Well, she wasn't quite sure what she was expecting from her very emotional and temperamental younger sister - Sarah hardly expected you to be up for a chat given your clearly emotional state.

"Please? it's Sarah," She tried to reason with you, resting her head against your bedroom door in the hopes you would open it. Thankfully, you unlocked and opened the door, facing your sister with tears in your eyes which stained your face. "You look like shit." She told you, you scoffed at your sister's comment, it was how you typically spoke to each other, but you weren't feeling it right now.

"What do you want, Sarah?" You asked her, rubbing your puffy eyes.

"What happened? Why are you so upset?" She asked you, concern lacing her tone as she looked at you. You sighed as you looked down, hanging your head.

"She broke up with me," You mumbled, talking about your girlfriend who you had been seeing for 7 months. Sarah's jaw dropped - from the way you talked about this girl, you would have thought you were getting married in the coming weeks, Joel and Sarah had even met her and liked her. But here you were now, heartbroken over the very girl you had fallen head over heels for.

"She what? Oh my God," Sarah was big sister angry. "Did she say why?" She asked you, coming into your room as she followed you to your bed.

"No, she just said it," You cried. Sarah frowned as she put her arm around you to try and comfort you, she had been through her fair share of high school breakups, but she knew that you were taking this particularly bad - You were convinced that you were spending the rest of your life with this girl. "But I think she's already with someone else now." You sniffled, a prominent frown on your face as you looked down at your lap. Sarah smiled sadly as she hugged you tightly, normally you hated when she tried to hug you, but you needed it right now, so didn't even bother trying to protest.

"It's okay, you were too good for anyway," Sarah tried to assure you, unsure of whether it would work or whether you would just start crying even more - It showed to be the latter. Panicking, Sarah hugged you tighter. "I know, okay, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that. But I meant it, I know that you loved her but she didn't seem too good for you. You weren't yourself and you weren't happy with her, Y/N."

You knew that your sister was right - She was a bad influence on you, she had you sneaking and staying out late,  coming in drunk at all hours of the morning, skipping school. None of that was you, you were a good kid, you knew that, Sarah knew that, Joel knew that, everyone did. Which was why those around you became concerned when you started acting out - your dad knew it was more than you trying to be an angsty teenager, you were always sorry for the things you did, it wasn't like you were trying to rebel against him. Joel knew that he really didn't like your girlfriend when you came home with a hand shaped bruise around your neck that you didn't know how to explain to him.

You sighed as you accepted defeat and looked up at your sister, accepting that she was right - Sarah knew you better than you would have liked to admit, and like it or not, she was talking sense; you weren't happy or yourself with your now ex-girlfriend.

"I guess..." You thought about it for a second before sighing. "You're right." You mumbled, unable to meet your sisters eyes, knowing you'd be met with the smug look that came with your admission of her being right.

"See, I told you," She grinned, hugging you tightly and smiling as you did too. "Listen, you can take as long as you need to get over...whatever her name was, but I know that that girl across the street has the biggest crush on you." Sarah told you, she had caught that girl staring at you when the two of you were out during the summer.

"Yeah yeah, whatever," You laughed, rolling your eyes as you shook your head. "What's her name?" You asked Sarah, looking up at your sister as you rubbed your eyes of the last of your tears.

"I'm not totally sure, Ellie, or something."

Joel Miller Tag list - Want to join? Fill out this form!

@mrvlxgrl @white-wolf-buckaroo @change-the-world-someday @mand1ora @sleepylunarwolf @kobiiblog @rrickgrrimes8 @wxnderingthoughts @mimi-luvzyu @mookiepookiesblog @actually-lea @tracysnook @pauphs @thefragmented @hufflepuffriver @miareadsbooks @moonwayne @auggiesolovey @space-xplosion @howlerwolfmax @delicatedinosaurperson @sammy-13 @t-stark35 @ilovereadingfanfics-blog @twkobii

[gerec]

HOLIDAY FIC RECS - UPDATED!!!

Yay it's holiday time again and I'm a-rolling in with an updated rec list for my fandom lovelies :D :D :D

Walking in a Winter Wonderland by TurtleTotem

Charles hasn’t seen Erik since their devastating breakup ten years ago. He’s certainly the last person he expects to run into at a Christmas lights display.

Terrible Hanukkah Sweaters and Other Life Challenges by professor (series)

“Why am I here again?” Erik groans.

“I need you to lift things and glower at people over my shoulder when I tell people that it’s not ‘politically correct’ or a ‘war on Christmas’ to have a non-denominational winter holiday festival,” says Theresa Pryde.

Well, at least those are two things he’s good at.

soul of my soul by ikeracity

You can imprint on your soulmate anywhere — school, work, on the street, in a restaurant, on the subway. Charles and Erik imprint on each other just in time for the holidays.

The Holiday Lights Battle by so_shhy

Some people take their Christmas lights a little too seriously. Erik is one of those people. So is his new neighbour, Sebastian Shaw.

Winter Song by ikeracity

They manage to make time to be together on New Year’s Eve 1999 into 2000.

table for three by pocky_slash

Erik should have known to call ahead to the Chinese restaurant–it’s Christmas Eve and he lives in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood, after all. But before he can go home to mourn the loss of another one of his mother’s yearly traditions, he’s accosted by a teenage girl with a strange proposition–that he should stay and have dinner with her and her mother, instead.

December, Take Two by mabyn

Charles has no problem being in the same room as his ex at Emma’s holiday party. They’re adults, after all.

Mistletoe, Latkes, and Long-term Revenge Strategies by pocky_slash

Charles knows that Erik hates working at a department store in the best of times. Being Jewish in a department store during the holiday season is far from the best of times. He does what he can to help.

In the Bleak Midwinter by keire_ke

It is not easy to find out, well into the second decade of the twenty-first century, that your mother arranged a marriage for you. It is even less easy to convince her that you have no interest in the very fertile Magda, she of the wide hips and lustrous auburn hair. Fortunately, with a good friend at his side over the holiday weekend, Erik is sure he will prevail.

All We Are We Are by kianspo

Charles's boyfriend breaks up with him days before the holidays. Not willing to ruin anyone else's festive mood, Charles hides this fact from his sister and his friends, and retreats into the family mansion, letting the world move on without him. He's flirting with depression when a one-time ex and a long-term friend surprises him. Long-kept secrets are revealed, and it turns out, Charles hasn't been paying attention to the right things.

Where The Heart Is by professor

It's Christmas, and Charles is sick, and alone. Until he's not.

The Haunting of Erik Lehnsherr: A Christmas Carol by TurtleTotem

Erik's business partner, Emma Frost, died seven years ago. This Christmas Eve, her ghost returns, dragging the chains of eternal torment, to say he can avoid her fate only through the visitation of three spirits, who will show him the mistakes of his past.

festival of lights by pocky_slash

A series of ficlets featuring Erik celebrating Hanukkah in various verses.

Watching the Stars Slide Down by groovyphilia

Seventeen-year-old Charles Xavier is ridiculously wealthy, and is used to being paraded around for show at his mother’s high-society Christmas parties. He’s always been rather sporting about it, and dutifully rubs shoulders with the elite every year in the glitz of the mansion ballroom.

This year, he meets a man by the name of Erik Lehnsherr.

New Way Home by luninosity

Christmas at the mansion (written November 2011). All the festive holiday fluffiness in the world; protective Erik; tiny bit of emotional h/c near the end; realizations of love.

-----

And of course these classics by Yahtzee (see linked post):

Somewhere I’m Going & Have Never Been Before

Made To Be Broken

Xmas in Connecticut

Red, Gold, and Green 

[megashadowdragon]

I have to be frank the claim that mako was a creators pet or Gary stu never had any merit

it amounts to people with an irrational hatred for mako daring to be flawed in a way that cant be romanticized

abusing labels to try and slap it on him

or claim that their distortion of how mako actually is ( Ron the death eater treatment)

should be how he is actually treated when its not

mako was never manipulative or a womanizer etc

he mishandled al ove triangle where korra kissed him

he should have talked to asami about it that's it

mako ending b1 in with makorra which he wanted isn't him being rewarded for those flaws he didn't need to be specifically punished t a love triangle mishap and neither did Korra ( this applys to b1 and b2

( to be honest the show should have ended with korra single with hints to makorra he didn't need to be specifically punish

( that's what the narrative pointed to when I see people make the karma argument it ignores that mako was not the only person responsible for the love triangle so claiming consequence for love triangle should mean ending the show single means all 3 of them should end the show single

( they were just dumb teenagers mako didn't need punishment for love triangle mishap ( and you can say that b2 breakup was enough consequence even if they get back together at the end of b4 (as they should have

the claims that makos mistakes in b1 or b2 should cost him trust is nonsensical

some people complain about mako doing well as a officer and possibl being promoting or whining about those two officers being incompetent/corrupt etc

saying its just having them be that way to make mako look good ( when that's what happened with katara in atla b1 with her water ending training she quickly became a waterbending master, the other students were portrayed as sloppy/bad ( getting insulted by the master)

or lazy ( in aangs )

to make katara look good

in fact with mako you can say its less egregious

aang had been ahead of katara in terms of waterbending previously

while with mako ( he had just been very successful in his job ( he used to work for the gangs) and getting a job as an officer in the 1900's was a quick process.

and lin called him out when he messed up ( with how angry she got

the claim about mako needing to be humbled has always been absurd mako was never really arrogant

I feel bryke just let themselves listen to the fans  ( wthe people who can only see mako as having had two girls be into him and a good job ignoring all the suffering that mako did need to go through  in his life ( and his lack of arrogance)

 they let themselves listen to the cool guy mako idea ( at least they didn't listen to the worst aspects of fandoms view ( I feel like bryke shouldn't have listened to the fandoms concerns 

[jaesqueso]

member: haechan

▶︎ “Love is the thing” by Nat King Cole

genre: fluff

3.5k follower celebration ❤︎

word count: 649

warnings: mentions of a past breakup

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

Haechan was your saviour, your night in shinning armour when everything seemed to crumble around you.

When you and your ex-boyfriend broke up you were devastated. You couldn’t help thinking it was all your fault. Maybe if you loved him less, maybe he would’ve loved you more. You keep going on about the things you could’ve done differently and you know that’s wrong but what else can you do at the end of a love affair? And you can weep and sigh, you can say it’s unfair and almost die of despair, but in the end, if love ain’t there, it ain’t there.

As you breathe a sigh of sadness, in the corner table of your regular bar, you catch a glimpse of him. The aura exuding from him lit up the room and warmed up the mood, you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him. That is until he spotted you and you forced yourself to look down at your half empty glass.

The talk was as smooth as the walk, and you almost fell for the charm but you can smell a player from a mile away. Why would someone like him have a real interest in you? You, that were completely unworthy of love?

But Haechan didn’t give up. Every time he saw you at the bar it was like he forgot everyone else was there and he only saw you. He tried is best to charm you, you tried your best to resist. But you started noticing the love letters.

“Stay as sweet as you are

Don’t let a thing ever change you

Full sun ☀︎”

Little love notes that you found in your purse, coincidentally after you left the bar. There was no doubt who they were from but how disappointed would you be if they weren’t from him.

“I had trouble sleeping last night

So I thought of you and everything felt right

Full sun ☀︎”

Message after message you felt your heart give into him. You kissed the name he signed and read them all over again, as you rolled around your bed like a teenage girl.

“The moment I can feel that you feel it too

That’s when I will fall in love with you

Full sun ☀︎”

But even though it felt like you were living a wonderful fairytale, your trust issues still got the best of you. What if this was all just a play and in time he would get bored and through it all away? You couldn’t bare the thought of getting your heart broker yet once again.

“I’m through with flirting, it’s just you I’m thinking of.”

He promises, kissing the back of your hand. But as he leans for the kiss you’ve been dreaming of, your blushing face turns to the say.

“Too soon? That’s ok, your kisses are worth waiting for.”

But he didn’t wait long, for you couldn’t resist it much more. The meetings at the bar turned into walks in the park, the love letters turned into real life serenades on his knee.

“How is it that you always have something sweet to say?” You’ve always wondered.

“Well, my dear, each kiss from you it’s an inspiration.”

Little by little you learnt to trust again and Haechan helped you bring back the spark in your life. But even with all the excitement of the blossoming relationship, it seemed like there was still something missing, you just didn’t know what. Until he filled the gap.

“I’ve travelled the world, but I’d trade all the sights I’ve seen for one glance of you. On that first day you cast a spell on me, but not one I’d like to break free. I love you.”

There’s no magic in ‘I love you’, without someone to tell it to. And as you finally let all your feelings come through you know that love is the thing.

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

taglist: @yokshi-unbeliebubble @nc-teen  @yutahoes @dimplehyunn @iknowyuno @bebskyy @ne0cultur3technology @nurenciye @luvjeongjaehyun @chenleyang @booyouwhore17 @jenoxygen @star1117-archives @neodreamzenie​

unable to tag: @doahflix @criminalmindsz @jaehyunsprincess

[findafight]

Totally with you on a) the defintion of shipping and b) that it would not be narratively satisfying to have the show go in the Will and Mike get together direction, for all the reasons you listed.

The dialogue around it also makes it nearly impossible to find meta or even just discussions around Mike that don't centre the possibility of a romantic relations with Will and it's so frustrating. I love that little guy and I just want to talk about how much he loves his friends!

But then the first thing I created for this fandom was a byler breakup fic so... I'm probably not in the majority.

Anyway keep on trucking and I LOVE Robin and Steve's Epic Platonic Soulmate Mixtape <3

Ah thank you! Yeah. The series is grounded in the friendship the party has. That's the first thing we learn about them. It feels insulting to both the characters and anyone who likes the non romantic aspects of relationships when people insinuate that Will couldn't have a happy ending without dating Mike. (Mike doesn't owe Will a romantic relationship. Will doesn't owe Mike one!! It also feels insulting that people say there's going to be a time skip and I guess Will is still pining for him? Let him let go at that point Sheesh.).

The basis of any romantic relationship, especially in canon, between Will and Mike (or any party members) is a deep and strong friendship. Acting like those aren't as important is so rude to people and mischaracterizes them. Mike Wheeler loves his friends so much he would jump off a cliff for any of them. He would deny their death with the barest shred of illogical proof even when presented with a body. He would try to contact a girl for almost a year to see if she was still alive. He holds his friend's hand when it seems he's fading away, insists on going into danger to help with a distraction, and apologizes better to a friend than his girlfriend. He's a moody, angsty teenager, going through a lot of emotions and confusion, and can be an asshole even to his friends, but my god what are you doing if you deny Mike's platonic relationships mean everything to him.

It's also disregarding Will's relationships too! Like. El is his sister now!! You cannot separate that. Would Will want to date Mike even? Loving and wanting to date are different. Dating a sister's ex? Legit so many arguments are just saying El doesn't love Mike, and I guess implying she wouldn't give a shit if Mike stsrted dating a friend that became a brother who is also the only one as deeply connected to the Upside Down as her. It gives me the vibes of people like...taking away the agency El has in her own feelings and saying she loves Mike.

Maybe he just wants to be able to honest about his feelings. Get them off his chest. Keep his friendship with Mike but have everything out in the open, and they can work through that together. Strengthen their friendship and maybe be open to potentially dating in the future (there is an apocalypse on!) while also strengthening their friendship with El. So many people just. Ignore her and her feelings in all this, as though both Will and Mike have not showed they valued her feelings greatly. Why would that not factor in at all? Why would Will put his sister into that position? Would it not be awkward for Mike too?

That's why it wouldnt be satisfactorily executed in S5. The characters and the audience need time to process any breakup between El and Mike. Let them cool off and us register it. Another anon said if they were going blr canon route they should have ended mlvn in S4, and I agree. It needs Breathing room. Not just them breaking up and a two year time skip where we're told time has passed but for us it feels like nothing, so the impact isn't the same and it doesn't have the same satisfaction of knowing they've worked it out but just being told about it. If that makes sense?

Plus the series has struggled with ending romo relationships, and the only one starting that wasn't awkward or weird (Both Nancy and Jon AND Joyce and Hop have Murray be the catalyst which annoying and kinda lazy, not to mention the cheating) was Lucas and Max. That doesn't paint a picture of confidence in me. Sometimes a ship going canon is not actually good. Sometimes in fandom you are actually thankful a ship that honestly should have been canon by the end, or at least post-series didn't, because whatever the show runners would have done with it would have probably ruined whatever dynamic that made them compelling in the first place. it may feel like a betrayal or rip off at first, and would likely continue to, but with time comes a feeling of oh. Maybe it's better this way... Would come.

So yes. Seeing how people reacted to me simply saying that, by the end of the series, I don't think it could satisfyingly become canon, while prioritizing their relationships with each other, Not a lot of nuance is allowed, it seems. Though I'm sure many shippers are cool and chill, it's really just a few people who are loud about it that try to inhibit discussion or meta, it's a damn shame that the only discussion allowed to those shippers is when or how it will be canon. Where's the fun in that? Everyone can interact with fandom differently, and it's a shame some folks want to dictate how others do so.

[queerwritersingerdramaqueen]

And now it is time for ~random annotations from that one fic I wrote self-indulgently with no context in order of appearance~

"the snake and medusa symbolism is there too"

"you're in a mirror situation of my own design"

"first to get on the train, last to get off"

"dichotomy bitches, i'm giving you so much whiplash"

"I want to make it so obvious this is fictional and should in no way inform any real-life scenarios."

"Still trying to figure out who actually asked who to be their lighthouse." (and directly after this one) "Hehe, nice extended metaphor"

"Jesus Christ Liam, he just said living without you would kill him"

"way to set up the dramatic irony sir"

"Please excuse me I designed her when I was 13 and the teenage angst was kicking."

(this one might require context of the fic but it sounds slightly unhinged on it's own so) "This is why I write like this, to settle the ever-present fact that shit could have and still can go sideways so quick because I was born when I was."

(Also might need context but) "Please imagine this little doctor running down to the apartment, banging on the door until they realise Sherlock is incapacitated, running halfway across town to get Billy cause their afraid something's wrong and he's the only one with a key, coming back just to realise Sherlock forgot to unlock the door and basically did their job for them XD."

"Billy: You fucking Twat! Also Billy: is that a baby?"

"Nice Double entendre, is he going to let go of the fear or let go of Liam, OoOoOh"

"How the fuck do children talk???"

"not subtle at all, you may as well just tell him he's his mama by that point"

"so you have chosen death"

"I'm very proud of this little thing I do where a character will ask a question about why they do something and then it immediately cuts to the reasonTM"

"still kind of proud of this one"

"and so it begins, the older brother-fication of the only child" (directly after) "and there's the middle child"

"Don't mind me just throwing random coffee orders out there."

"I really like going all in on the symbolism huh?"

"Aka. "When did you two fuck?"

"It's called dramatic irony"

"stimmmmmmming"

"I'm demi, ok? I don't know what waking up sex would feel like and I'm not sure I want to know but that sounds romantic to me ok? Shut up"

"1. can babies inherit ocular albinism but not full albinsim? 2. this feels like it would happen but what do I know"

"me too dude, me too"

"URGH, right in the heart"

"And that's what it's all about"

(the = is my equivalent of the shaking hands meme) "Mycroft = Louis: Why are you going for the guy who could fuck you up?"

"bEtRaYaL"

"Let it be known that Albert may be the first one to get on the train of redemption but he is far from the first on to get off."

"Fred just grinning in the corner"

"yes on the purity but my book says nothing about rebirth"

"CAtch me if you can"

"Can you tell I was super into The Moon Will Sing at this point?"

"Don't know how he's not dead, the plot armour is strong on this one"

"I cannot stress enough that this should not be taken as reality. I as the god of this universe have strung together enough circumstantial and well thought out plot for them so they can be together again without the toxicity and I'll explore this later. This should be catharsis for all the peeps who are going through breakups where they want to go back but can't. Live vicariously through these two, don't go back to your ex unless the circumstances are almost suspiciously in your favour and even then, don't."

"and not rationality as in "oh I can't live without Liam," NO, rationality as in "this baby has RIGHTS""

"I'm not afraid to admit this came at the height of my Girl, Goddess, Queen hype"

"Because any decent man who can understand where he might have gone wrong in gaining your trust will not continue to be unworthy of your trust. If he does not continuously try to earn your trust earnestly, toss him."

"we love a self-aware man who can own up to his mistakes"

"AGAIN, FICTION"

"Mycroft and Albert Holmes, William and Sherlock Moriarty. I rest my case."

"at the end of the day, it's a name and he's happy to know it."

"who thought sending the two year old was smart? *looks in the mirror*"

"still crying over this"

"Babies' have no right smelling so cute when all they do is poop and vomit"

"I won't lie. he was probably thinking of ways to murder him for making fun of their kid"

"The Bloodline Continues"

"Liam, you're catharting. After a year and a half of basically being on your own, you're finally having simple human contact and it's nice."

"le gasp"

"Moran slander is fun I don't know what you're talking about"

"FICTION, I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH"

"Relationships are all good and well until your isolated with only one person you can truly let go with"

"I don't know what kind of relationship Americans had with British people at this time but this seemed most plausible"

"Cana two year old have a thought process like this???"

"priorities"

"wouldn't that be crazy *laughs in polyamory*"

"i like this metaphor"

I had to cut out a few that were actual notes about the story and if it hadn't become abundantly obvious, it's yuumori kidfic. I make myself laugh and I'd never write anything I didn't find enjoyment in myself so HERE YOU GO. I hope my ridiculous ramblings make someone laugh today.