#he's homesick for Jackie

[elvenbeard]

2071

"Had to drive a thousand miles just to realize that this is where I belong... This is my home. I'm so fuckin' stupid."

"Some mistakes you gotta make, hermano. How else're you s'pposed to learn from them?"

Vince left Night City for a little less than a year in 2070. He'd burned too many bridges, in Charter Hill, in Kabuki... There seemed nothing left for him to gain, nowhere deeper to sink. Also, his mother had tracked him down two years into his hiding from her. Even though they parted ways somewhat amicably and Vince did not expect to see her again, a certain level of unrest had accompanied him ever since.

Together with someone he thought he was in love with at the time, he joined the backstage crew of a Korean lazrpop duo touring the NUSA. His actually quite extensive technical knowledge... did not land him the gig. It was mostly the good word put in by his acquaintance that was supposed to get him out of the city. But so, instead of working with the crew's techies, setting up the lights and sound for the impressive shows ahead, he ended up having to haul equipment cases most days.

Needless to say, the experience was underwhelming. Combined with his relationship turning sour halfway into the trip, Vince suffered from the worst homesickness ever - for Night City, of all places, the city and the people that had continued to wrong him so many times over, with their games and intrigues.

One thing though Night City had done very right: Jackie Welles. The first person who sincerely liked Vince for who he was, no ulterior motives. The first true friend whose intentions he no longer doubted, that would have his back no questions asked, and vice versa.

Bonding with him over their shared experiences with abusive parents, Jackie was to Vince the older brother he had never had. Naturally, Jackie was there to pick him up when Vince returned to Night City in 2071, disillusioned, alone, and uncertain about his future more than ever. But Jackie always seemed to know someone or something that could be done to get Vince back on his feet.

Night City had changed as much as Vince had during his short-lived, self-inflicted exile. The Unification War was over, Night City a free city. Most importantly though - unbeknownst to both Vince and Jackie still - the old, powerful corporation that had returned to the city's heart with its new, rebuilt headquarters, would forever change their lives just a few years down the line...

Vince through the years (3/9)

For today's behind the scenes ramblings: a few thoughts on something I've been noticing on my VP journey lately...

No matter where you go... I think in any scenic location near Night City, you can see the Arasaka logo somehwere in the background, and I think it's done very purposefully by the environment designers XD It's either the clover, or the whole word "arasaka" spelled out, glowing somewhere on the side of a building or an ad display. It is often there in important story scenes somewhere, too, subtle in the background, a constant, subconscious reminder to V (you know... apart from the constant, subconscious bickering at the hands of Johnny XD).

Arasaka Tower itself is also extremely prominent, unmistakeable with its shape, whenever I'm taking pics lately that are in slightly elevated locaions I look around to see if I can spot it XD And I chose this spot specifically because it's so nicely visible from there, too...

This was one of my very first shoots with AMM - don't think I ever shared these (and wanna recreate them badly now). Just Vince and Johnny pondering the next move, what they're gonna do and say during the meeting with Hanako, Arasaka Tower in clear view in the distance, almost as if it's taunting them.

This particular spot is very important to Vince... as mentioned, it's where Jackie picked him up after he returned to Night City in 2071, but it's more than that. Jackie showed him the place shortly after they became friends, to give Vince a "different perspective" on Night City he wasn't really aware of then, with his sheltered upbrining and the circles he moved in. It's by the dam, overlooking Rancho Coronado, and in few other places the extreme difference between poverty and wealth appears quite as jarring.

In the years to come after this first visit here, it develops into a favourite meeting spot of Vince and Jackie to discuss all manners of things in quiet and relative private... here is where, just a year later, Vince tells him that he's gonna take on a job at Arasaka 👀 And Vince is drawn back there over and over again, even when Jackie can no longer meet him there.

It's simply where he still feels closest to Jackie, due to so many important conversations they had here...

... and he takes Kerry here, later, too, to get away from the city for a little while, talk about the past and the future.

Sometimes he comes over on his own when he needs some quiet time to think, too. What would Jackie do now? What would he suggest? Does it all even matter in the grand scheme of things? What is really important right now, and what can wait for later?

It's the perfect spot to clear your mind, and gorgeous at every time of day <3

Also, I wrote above that Vince was homesick for Night City... but it was less Night City that he missed, but Jackie's presence.

[critterbitter]

SUBMAS MASTERPOST

Hello, my name is Crit (he/them.) Welcome to my SUBMAS art blog, @critterbitter! It is sfw, but please take care if you are a minor, as I’m Old. Thanks! To reach my main blog, please direct your attention to @proxycrit .

This is a masterpost of all the art and comics I’ve done for the funny train men so far. Feel free to browse and definitely feel free to comment!

(Here’s my kofi as well! If you wish to tip. If you want wips, here’s my patreon!)

All work can also be found under #myart.

Comics/Art List:

A SUBMAS spotify playlist-- Post Hisui Muppet Council

Emmet and eelektross— you and your dog get sent to feudal japan

Ingo and lady sneasler— you weigh like a bag of grapes

Emmet, meet volo

tynamo and emmet’s first meeting (they become friends instantly)

Litwick and ingo’s first meeting (they become enemies immediately)

Aftermath of training

The starters perform care on full grown men

Committing war crimes on both eel and man

Submas kids— the Snack that smiles back, litwick edition

Box shenanigans (caricatures of the children)

Emmet and litwick come to a deal

The difference in starter relationships boggles the mind

Good morning, litwick (good night, lady sneasler.)

Ingo fights his inner envy demons with the communication stick

Coat flapping

You are Beloved, Lampent. That’s all. 

A jackie at gear station

Tynamo evolution blues (this is funny)

The imposter syndrome sets in (it is no longer funny)

Library blues (elesa should be paid for carrying books)

Sassy night light

Happy eel dog

The joyful ordeal of evolution

Eelektrik boa (a gold standard!)

Lampent discovers discourse. This becomes everybody's problem.

Nimbasa trio walk and talk

Couch party (it's poll time!)

SUBMAS AU: Conventional Starters

Lampent is an umbrella, if you squint

Happy Holidays!

Eel-esa outfit (cause, you know, she dresses like an eel. Get it? Get it?)

Scheming

Master of manipulation.

They left Lampent in a Deino's Parking Lot

"These are our Exoskeletons, Elesa."

Chance meeting

Forbidden Lore Unlocked

Introducing Elesa, the New Kid from Sinnoh

Elesa and Blitzle

Outside the crowd

Volume Control

COLLAB: Forgiveness is Electric

Volume Control (Reprise)

Food Exchange

Electric starters

Homesick

Metaphorical and Literal Rat Children

Trouble starters

Snapshots: Route 3

Snapshots: Castelia City

Snapshots: Virbank Complex

Snapshots: Desert Resort

Snapshots: Route 8

Snapshots: Nimbasa City

Snapshots: Celestial Tower

Snapshots: Pinwheel Forest

Snapshots: Route 18

Snapshots: Anville Town

Snapshots: Undella Bay

Snapshots: Flocessy Ranch

Snapshots: Route 10

Snapshots: Driftveil City

Snapshots: Twist Mountain

Snapshots: Relic Passage

Snapshots: Route 6

Snapshots: Opelucid City

Snapshots: Chargestone Cave

Snapshots: Dream Yard

Snapshots: Route 1

Snapshots: Striaton City

Snapshots: Black City

WORLD BUILDING

Giratina and Arceus

[luxurychristmaspudding]

frankie & bug's whisky night playlist | On Call

summary: he's fixed the sink! time to party!

read mi amigo here <3

an: i had the biggest fucking grin on my face putting this together. thank you all so much <3

sir duke - stevie wonder (from @pedroacrossthestreet)

more than a feeling - boston (from @jolapeno & @morallyinept)

second hands news - fleetwood mac (from @readingiskeepingmegoing)

gold dust woman - fleetwood mac (from @readingiskeepingmegoing)

cryin’ - aerosmith (from @readingiskeepingmegoing and @yopossum)

crazy - aerosmith (from @readingiskeepingmegoing)

dial drunk - noah kahan (from @schnarfer)

tainted love - soft cell (from @tonysopranosrobe)

get lucky - daft punk (from @tonysopranosrobe)

shiny happy people - r.e.m. (from @tonysopranosrobe)

modern love - david bowie (from @tonysopranosrobe)

love will tear us apart - joy division (from @tonysopranosrobe)

don’t stop til you get enough - michael jackson (from @tonysopranosrobe)

angel of small death and the codeine scene - hozier (from @ak-vintage)

jackie and wilson - hozier (from @ak-vintage)

you make loving fun - fleetwood mac (from @thundermartini and @schnarfer and @copperhalfcent)

dancing in the dark - bruce springsteen (@schnarfer)

let’s dance - david bowie (from @pedroacrossthestreet)

faithfully - journey (from @millersamour)

burnin’ for you - blue öyster cult (from @millersamour)

stella - incubus (from @secretelephanttattoo)

a kiss to send us off - incubus (from @secretelephanttattoo)

drive - incubus (from @sin-djarin)

are you in? - incubus (from @sin-djarin)

homesick - noah kahan (from @schnarfer)

gypsy - fleetwood mac (from @schnarfer)

rhiannon - fleetwood mac (from @schnarfer)

don’t stop - fleetwood mac (from @schnarfer)

more than words - extreme (from @copperhalfcent)

songbird - fleetwood mac (from @copperhalfcent)

love’s unkind - donna summer (from @copperhalfcent)

sabor a mí - luis miguel (from @itsokbbygrl)

la bamba - ritchie valens (from @itsokbbygrl)

can't fight this feeling - reo speedwagon (from @morallyinept)

two sleepy people - fats waller (from @toomanytookas)

beyond the sea - bobby darin (from @toomanytookas)

here i go again - whitesnake (from @yopossum)

alone - heart (from @yopossum)

pour some sugar on me - def leppard (from @yopossum)

livin' on a prayer - bon jovi (from @yopossum)

i want to break free - queen (from @pedroacrossthestreet)

crocodile rock - elton john (from @pedroacrossthestreet)

groove is in the heart - deee-lite (from @pedroacrossthestreet)

man in the wilderness - styx (from @copperhalfcent)

general picks

foreigner, journey, separate ways from @kammerstx

queen from @sawymredfox

earth wind and fire, marvin gaye, stevie wonder, sly and the family stone, bill withers, gladys knight, diana ross, aretha franklin, bob seger, neil young, blue öyster cult, tom petty from @yopossum (you had absolutely unreal picks and have outrageously good taste. we should go dancing together)

sinatra and some tejano (yes!) from @toomanytookas

lil bit of lana from @itsokbbygrl

the cure and arctic monkeys from @emeraldmoth

abba and more queen from @syd-djarin

pet shop boys from @tonysopranosrobe

fleetwood mac from @kammerstx @yopossum @thundermartini @schnarfer and pretty much everyone else who commented. and i can only say - you are so unbelievably right.

my picks (if you wanna know!)

i feel for you - chaka khan

play that funky music - wild cherry

let's groove - earth, wind & fire

candy - cameo

thunderstruck - ac/dc

money for nothing - dire straits

walk of life - dire straits

[leonardperreault]

Ryleigh definitely goes to Quinn now that she’s stressing about school starting

"quinn?" ryleigh asks as she pokes her head into his room, "can i talk to you?" she whispers.

quinn smiles looking up at his baby sister,

"of course ry come on in," ryleigh enters the room and sits down on his bed, laying down across the end,

"im nervous," she admits, "well maybe actually stressed- i don't know i just-" quinn cuts her off,

"about school?" he asks.

ryleigh nods,

"what if none of my friends want to hang out with me anymore? or i can't keep up in my classes. i already have issues learning and I'm a year behind and i worry that ill get homesick and that people will make fun of me for being sad," quinn sits up,

"want to hear something?" he asks. ryleigh nods,

"please," she pleads,

"you were still young and i dont think you remember but when you guys first moved to michigan for jacky to join the program i came home like every other week. i basically lived at home," ryleigh sits up looking at her brother eyebrows furrowed,

"really?" she asks. quinn nods,

"the boys used to give me so much shit because of it but having you all so close and knowing you and lukey were growing up made it hard not to be at home,"

ryleigh gasps,

"is that why you picked me up so much? because mom was with lu?" quinn smiles nodding,

"you know it,"

"but what are you saying?" ryleigh asks,

"im saying that even i came home. even though i got shit, i came home when i could cause i missed it, and I'm not saying you're going to need too. because you have jj and rutger who you should absolutely talk too about this, but mom and dad live 20 minutes away and you have a key," ryleigh blinks at her brother,

"i didn't even think of that," she says.

quinn chuckles,

"i know," he says, "plus you have three brothers who will ALWAYS be willing to fly you out for a weekend,"

[shmaptainwrites]

𝐖𝚰𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐂 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐆𝚰𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐕𝚰𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐁𝐑𝚰𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐍

[PART 1]

| A compilation of different ocs and characters that me and my duckies ( @lifesizehysteria and @sleepyfireball ) have assigned as Violet’s wife in different universes |

Ellie Bridgerton has always been known to those around her as fun, kind, and having a love for life, but it is very clear the second she meets Violet in student government that she’d always love life a little more with her by her side.

Agatha Danbury, a tenacious, driven woman who has been by Violet's side through thick and thin, her love remains unrequited, or does it?

Nikah Ahmadi, soprano in the opera for London’s finest and most respected families, her talent revered by the Queen herself, but shy and homesick, the only gaze that seems to draw her in is that of a certain lady in black.

Mary Sharma had found love once before. She never expected to find it again with her stepdaughter’s mother-in-law after they are set up by their local barista. They would never pursue it though…or would they?

Jaquelin Adeyemi, or Yemi to her colleagues and Jackie to close friends, had not known much of a life outside of diplomacy and professionalism. The only two loves of her life being her children, Jackie had no time for romance or to coddle a man in hopes that he might live up to what she needed him to be. It wasn’t until a cancelled flight that she realized perhaps what she needed was not a man, but in fact, a woman.

[looby1302]

Part 4 of guilty conscience

Hope you all enjoy.

Smut and angst warning.

This is Jackies POV

As she hung up on Cole, tears formed in Her eyes, not only was she in shock with the words that he had began to mutter. She was also homesick. she felt like she just found her new family, only to leave them without warning. she may have not liked Colorado when she first arrived, however, this countrified little town she grew to love. This family had accepted her, as she is, no questions asked.

George and Catherine’s presence, The Brothers bickering, Parkers ball hitting the house, even the dogs bark. She missed it all. The thought of Alex, not knowing what happened, why she left, and why she wasn’t answering haunted her. She needed to call and explain herself. but she would give Herself tonight, to try and find the right words. To tell this boy that she had began to grow attached to that he wasn’t the one that she truthfully desired.

She fell into a light slumber, awakening all through the night by the sound of traffic, people, arguing, music in the distance. The morning came around quickly as sleep eluded her. She entered in the living room she glanced suspiciously at Danny pacing the room, getting ready for Juilliard. “ you will be great today I have no doubt”. He looked at her, with relief. like that’s exactly what he needed to hear. “ thanks Jackie, I hope you have a great day at your internship as well, I’ll see you tonight.” With that Danny left making his way to the front door. The apartment was quiet, uncle Richard Had left for business in the early hours. He would be back tomorrow morning.

She got her bag ready, fixed Her hair, chose the right outfit, and yet she still had an hour to spare. She decided to have that dreaded phone call. the One she had been avoiding. She unlocks her phone, scrolls through the contacts until she sees the name, Alex, Walter and she hits the call button. Her heart starts beating uncontrollably.

He answers on the fifth ring. Frantically he starts talking “ hey what’s up? where are you? Why haven’t I heard from you? Are you ok?”. Jackie takes a deep breath. “ hey Alex, I’m so sorry that I left without saying goodbye, I’ve got the internship. I found out in the morning and they needed me right away. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, I just thought that would be better for me, just to leave, I’m in New York with Danny”.

Alex continued talking, he couldn’t quite fathom the reason why she didn’t wake anyone. Why she couldn’t say goodbye to her boyfriend. why she just upped and left. he barely let her speak. With that, she cut him off. “ look Alex, I know that you’re going to camp today and obviously I’m in New York to do my internship, I think we should hit the pause button on us, I’m sorry, it’s just not working.”. She said sympathetically.. “ what do you mean pause button on us? we were together. I told you I loved you, you said nothing back, I wake up to find you gone, the teapot the one that Parker broke in your bedroom all fixed. I don’t buy it. I know that this is something to do with Cole. what did he do?”.

She takes deep breath, obviously she’s not going to confess everything that happened. That would cause more hostility in the house. “ Cole hasn’t done anything, he gave me the teapot, as a thank you, for helping him get back on the right path, he also knew how much it meant to me, I’m sorry I’m doing this over the phone but I’ll see you when your back from camp and maybe we can talk about it then”. with that Alex replied “sure”. He hung up on her.

Jackie felt a huge relief, maybe not About the cheating part. But in general she had put a stop to the relationship at least for now. She had only just got over the hottest make out session of her life.

Jackie had made it to her internship, she had began doing office work and organising which is something she love to do. She had no complaints, as she finally took her lunch break. She could see, this farmer looking Young man staring at her through the window. She started to think that she was going crazy. there’s no way that Cole walter is in New York. as he gets closer and closer. she still can’t believe her eyes.

As he enters and uses those famous words. “ Hey New York” she quivers. Not thinking, instinctively she rises from her chair. heads over to him. She forcefully grabs him by the neck and presses her lips against his. The kiss intensifies as he pulls her in closer and her legs start to buckle at the sensation.

The bag strap falls from his shoulder. hits the ground with a massive thud. She suddenly snaps back into reality and steps backwards. “Jackie, you’ll be the death of me” He mutters breathlessly, his eyes still fixed on hers. After finally getting her breath back. “ I can’t believe I just did that, what are you doing here?”. He smiles at her. “ I came here for you“.

She can hear voices in the distance growing closer and closer she chooses to step back again to create some more distance. “ Miss Howard, Louise has asked me if you could have those numbers done by tonight at the latest please”. This raven haired, businesswoman asks “ sure, no problem” Jackie replies. as the woman turns and walks away. Jackie turns to Cole. “ we will talk tonight, do you have anywhere to stay? or do you wanna stay at Uncle Richards?”.

As she holds her posture. “ I didn’t really think that far ahead, would it be okay if I stay at Richards?” he says, not, even blinking once, eyes transfixed on her. “ of course. I’ve got to get back to work but I’ll text you the address. Nobody should be there at the moment, Richard is on business, Danny is at Juilliard, so let yourself in, please make yourself at home”. She says handing him a key from her bag.

Cole leans down and picks up his bag “sure New York, thanks”. He heads towards the door, Of course not without giving her one last look up and down. she starts to feel Fire burning throughout her whole body, watching him leave through the window.

Jackie hurries to Richard’s apartment once she has finished her work and told she can leave. She enters the front door and heads inside looking for Cole. She finds him in the living room sat on the couch watching football waiting for her, When he finally spots her “hey we need to talk”. He says gulping at her beauty, she heads toward him, she drops her bag off of her back mid stride as it hits the floor. She places one leg over his waist and begins to straddle him.

He’s taken back a bit, this is not what he was expecting at all. He looks up into her eyes as she hovers above him. They are blown wide, pupils dilated. This time it’s his turn. He grabs the back of her head pulling her down. Lips crashing, hands moving all over each other, Moans and grunts escaping uncontrollably. His hand is lowering as her dress is rising up. She knows she wants him more than anything. They both stop dead where they hear a cough emerge from the other end of the living room, they both turn to see Danny stood there with a horrifying look on his face.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKE THIS!

Once again I am not much of a writer but hope you all enjoyed.

[silver-rings-and-rabbits]

Open Heart - Chapter 12

Admission

That night, Matthew lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling as the events of the day whirled around his mind. His roommates were clattering around in the living room. Elijah had suggested a movie night and Sienna was cooking, but at that moment Matthew wasn’t sure he’d be able to eat. He rolled onto his side and idly checked his phone to find an email from Dr Ramsey:

Dear Matthew

I want to apologise for how I handled the situation earlier today. It was highly unprofessional of me and you didn’t deserve it; your help, particularly over the last few weeks, has been invaluable.

That being said, I want to know everything about what happened to Mrs Martinez. What’s done is done and there is no bringing her back, but if I don’t know what’s going on I won’t be able to help you.

Regards – Ethan Ramsey

Matthew bit his lip as he stared at it. It was inevitable that Ethan would find out; he was too good at reading people and Matthew wasn’t the best liar. With resignation, he clicked ‘reply’ only to spend ten minutes writing, re-writing and staring at a blank screen until he gave up and rang Ethan’s number.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Dr Ramsey, it’s Matthew. I got your email.”

“You didn’t have to call.”

“I know, I just didn’t know where to start.”

“Take your time,” Ethan said, reassuringly.

Matthew took a deep breath and explained he had noticed Panacea Labs produced Mrs Martinez’s medication, and he’d researched into a cure before coming across the leak from the Panacea employee, which led to distracting Declan to steal a dose of medicine and administering it to Mrs Martinez that day.

There was a slight pause as Ethan took it in, then he asked: “Was Mrs Martinez aware of all this?”

“Yes, I told her everything.”

“I see.” Ethan sighed. “Well, Rookie, you wouldn’t be the first doctor to do something very stupid for a noble reason.”

He sounded so readily accepting that it was almost off-putting.

“Are you…not angry with me?””

“I would be, but it seems rather pointless now. Besides, we all knew how much Teresa hated being cooped up in hospital.”

Matthew heard Ethan pause to drink and he wondered what the drink of choice was.

“Listen,” Ethan continued. “Your residents and myself are aware of the situation with the family, and Harper is trying to figure out where to go from here. I don’t know how much I will be able to help you, but I will help you where I can.”

“Thanks, Dr Ramsey,” Matthew said. It wasn’t much, but it did help. “What about…Dr Banerji?”

Ethan took another, longer drink.

“I don’t know. But I’ll keep you informed. If you don’t mind, I’d rather keep in touch about it on our personal email. I’d rather not have anything on the Edenbrook server.”

“That’s fine,” Matthew said, as Sienna knocked and opened the door.

“Oh, sorry,” she said, seeing the phone in his hand. “Food’s ready.”

Matthew nodded as Sienna left.

“What was that?” Ethan asked.

“Just Sienna telling me dinner was ready. We’re having a movie night.”

“With your other roommates, I presume?” Ethan asked. “That’s good, you should have some fun. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

As they ended the call, Matthew’s eyes wandered over to his desk and the picture of him and his mom at graduation. Holly was so proud. Matthew felt a sudden pang of homesickness. He wondered if he should tell her…but maybe he’d get through this OK and she wouldn’t need to know. On the other hand, an investigation like this could take months and Matthew wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep the secret that long.

“You doing OK, Matthew?” Elijah asked as he settled down on the end of the couch.

“I can’t believe someone snitched on you,” Jackie said. Matthew had told them about the meeting with Harper as soon as they were all home.

“Maybe someone overheard us in the on-call room, or even at Donahue’s when we came up the plan.” Matthew shrugged. “Look, can we just not worry about it for a few hours?”

“Of course we can!” Sienna said, loudly. She placed a bowl of fried chicken and a bowl of fries on the coffee table. It smelled divine. “Who wants sauce?”

Various drinks and condiments were passed around and soon they all had plates piled high. They chose Shrek for the first movie, laughing away at the jokes and fairy-tale references. Matthew wished he could just switch off his brain and sit back to enjoy the movie, but he couldn’t quite immerse himself. He reached for an old failsafe: he grabbed his sketchbook and a pencil off the corner of the table and started doodling an ogre.

“Will you stop that? I can hear your pencil on the paper and it’s really annoying!” Landry snapped.

Matthew blinked in surprise as Elijah hastened to pause the movie.

“Chill out, Landry,” he said, slightly affronted.

“What’s up, Lando?” Elijah asked.

“Just…we’re supposed to be having a movie night and Matthew’s barely paying attention. Pencil on paper just does my head in,” Landry spluttered, gesturing vaguely at Matthew’s sketchbook.

“Who are you, the movie night police?” Jackie said. “We’re just relaxing. If Matthew wants to draw, he can.”

“If it bothers you that much, I’ll stop,” Matthew sighed, closing the book.

Sienna touched Landry’s arm.

“Is everything OK, Landry? You’ve been a bit on edge recently.”

Matthew did soften a little in sympathy.

“Don’t burn out over this fellowship competition,” he said, gently. “I know how much you want it and I’m sure you’ll get the top spot sooner or later, but we’re not even halfway through the year.”

“The attendings will note how you handle stress,” Jackie added. “So make sure you’ve got a healthy outlet. Why don’t you come to the gym with me sometime?”

“You won’t be of any use to anyone if you explode,” Elijah said.

Landry glanced around, and then nodded. He gave a small smile.

“No, you’re right. I need to chill out. In fact…I think I’m gonna shower and go to bed. I could do with an early night.”

He patted Matthew’s shoulder on the way to the bathroom, and Elijah resumed the movie. No one said anything, but Matthew couldn’t help feeling like there was a bigger problem at hand. Perhaps Landry was struggling with sad cases, similar to Sienna. Matthew wondered how he should approach the subject, but then a little, warm, fluffy body jumped onto his lap. Spooky had come out of Sienna’s room to join them.

The remaining group divided their attention between the movie and the chinchilla. Matthew did his best to forget his troubles for a little while longer, but having a chinchilla in the house really helped.

All too soon, his alarm was going off, he was eating breakfast, heading to work, doing his morning rounds, and then Zaid read a sticky note from off his chart.

“Valentine, Greene, Varma, Trinh and Olsen, you guys hang back. We need to talk.”

Matthew stiffened as he tried to keep his face smooth. The other interns whispered to each other as they broke away, and it wasn’t normal workplace gossip. Matthew met Aurora’s eyes as she left; her face was expressionless but he could have sworn her eyes were glittering. Jackie stood beside Matthew, her jaw set. Sienna fiddled with her plait. Landry looked pale.

“I’ll keep this short,” Zaid said. “The chief is going to question you all individually on what happened to Mrs Martinez.”

“Why?” Landry said suddenly. “We weren’t even on Mrs Martinez’s case!”

“I know.” Ines sounded calm, but her eyes were worried. “And I’ve told her how much I trust and respect each of you.”

Zaid nodded.

“Until then, you’ll be partnering with a fellow intern for each of your cases. The details are on your charts.”

As the residents walked away, the interns huddled together.

“They know, don’t they?” Sienna whispered.

“Of course they know,” Landry hissed. “You didn’t really think you’d get away with this, did you?”

“They don’t know jack, that’s why they’re sweating us. If they knew, we’d be out on our ass.”

“Any ideas who the snitch is?”

“Aurora,” Jackie said immediately. “You saw her face when she left.”

So Matthew hadn’t imagined the look in her eyes. His own eyes narrowed. He wasn’t sure how she would have found out, but if she was willing to play dirty to get the top spot back…

“What are we going to do?” Sienna asked.

“You have to let me take the fall for this,” Matthew argued and was immediately met with protests from Elijah and Jackie.

“Like hell! You did the right thing!”

“I knew this was a risk and I have to face the consequences—”

“You saw Mrs Martinez’s face on the steps of that church. Being there meant everything to her and it was all thanks to you. Meanwhile, all these other doctors are so worried about protecting their careers, they’d never stick their neck out for anyone!”

“Don’t give yourself up,” Sienna said, simply.

Matthew swallowed and looked over at Landry.

“What do you think I should do? You advised against it from the beginning.”

Landry bit his thumbnail, his shoulders slumping.

“I think it’s too late now to take back anything you did. So I don’t see why you should say anything. Whatever happens now is out of our hands.”

The shadows were prominent under his eyes, and then the tannoy made them all jump.

Paging Dr Greene to Chief Emery’s office…

“Showtime,” Elijah said, raising his eyebrows in anticipation. He rolled down the hall to face his final boss. Matthew hoped he’d be OK.

On the way to his first patient, Matthew spotted Ethan pacing the hall by the construction area, muttering to himself.

“Dr Ramsey?”

Matthew had never seen him so bedraggled.

“I have to tell Naveen he has a month to live,” Ethan said in a voice that was as empty as his eyes. “And as soon as I do, he’ll leave. He never wanted me to treat him anyway. He joked that if he couldn’t solve it, nobody could. Maybe he was right.”

“Do you want to let him leave?”

“God, no.” Ethan’s voice was quietly desperate. “I want to call in every doctor I know to help. Someone somewhere on this planet has to know how to fix this. But he’d hate me forever if I made him spend his last few weeks being poked and prodded in a hospital room.”

Matthew ran his hand through his hair. He could understand why Ethan felt that way and would probably want the same in his position. But after Mrs Martinez, he couldn’t in good conscience let Dr Banerji stay in an isolated hospital room.

“I think Dr Banerji should enjoy the time he has left.”

Ethan looked like he wanted to deny it. He even opened his mouth to argue, but then his face fell.

“I’ll…I’ll tell him then. But…w-would you mind coming with me?”

“Really?”

“I know it’s a lot to ask but Naveen likes you. And…I don’t want to do this alone.” Ethan admitted the last part in a low voice, pain and fear shining in his eyes.

Matthew nodded and followed Ethan through the new wing. Ethan was quiet for a few minutes.

“I’ve broken this news many times,” he said suddenly. “So much so that it became almost easy.”

“How could it ever be easy?”

It struck Matthew that he had never had to deliver news of this calibre to anyone, and was probably very, very lucky to say that. Under the weight of this situation, it was no wonder that Sienna had been so sad.

“There’s a sort of process we follow,” Ethan explained. “Your senior residents will talk you through it when the time comes.” He recited the steps in a flat voice. “Step one, show empathy. Easier for some doctors than others. Step two, tell the truth without metaphor or euphemism. You may think you’re softening the blow, but patients and loved ones need to hear the words and process the truth. Then, step three…help them make arrangements.”

They had reached Dr Banerji’s room where Ethan came to a stop, his eyes growing distant. Matthew bit his lip but then Ethan shook his head clear and steeled himself before going in, Matthew close behind. Dr Banerji looked up with a smile.

“Ah, my favourite and only companions! What can I provide today?” he asked, between coughs.

“Naveen.”

Ethan couldn’t get anymore words out but he didn’t need to. Naveen’s smile faded as he read Ethan’s expression. He turned to Matthew.

“He can’t stop this, can he?”

Matthew shook his head. “The new treatment didn’t hold. Your organs are failing.”

“I tried everything, Naveen…”

“I know you did, Ethan.” Naveen managed a smile, even a light chuckle. “Marvellous, isn’t it? After all this time, life still had a mystery the two of us couldn’t solve.”

He took the news remarkably well, not giving away the slightest hint of upset about having a month left to live. He merely took a minute to process this in silence, pursing his lips together as he mulled it over, then nodding resolutely and climbing out of bed. The other two doctors turned away to give him privacy to get changed. As Naveen tugged a sweater vest over his head, Ethan cracked.

“Please, stay here,” he gasped. “Let the other doctors examine you. Maybe they’ll see something I missed—”

“You never miss anything, Ethan.”

“But if you leave—”

“If I leave, I’ll have a beautiful house by the river that I never got to spend more than fie hours at a time in. And if I die in the middle of painting, fishing, or reading a good book, I’ll consider it a good way to go.”

Matthew wondered if he’d be able to ever stare calmly into the face of death. He only hoped that when his time came, he could be as brave as Dr Banerji.

“It’s an honour seeing you work, Dr Valentine,” Naveen said to him, his eyes twinkling with life. “You have a very promising career ahead of you. I hope you’ll think of me on the odd occasion.”

“I’ll think of you all the time,” Matthew said, earnestly. “I just wish I had more time to learn from you.”

“But at least you had time to learn the most important lesson.” Naveen looked old and wise, but at Matthew’s questioning expression, he smiled and ran his knuckles over Matthew’s forehead in a grandfatherly gesture. “No frowning, remember? Or your face will get stuck like that.”

Matthew laughed, dispelling the sadness. Even Ethan’s face softened.

Matthew kept a few paces behind the older doctors as they walked through the hospital to the entrance. Naveen was greeted by pleasantly surprised passing doctors. He shook their hands and smiled, telling them it was just a fleeting visit.

Once they were outside, Ethan, struggling with what to say, offered Naveen a handshake. Naveen knocked it aside and pulled Ethan into a fierce hug. Ethan exhaled as he hugged Naveen tightly. Matthew looked at the ground.

“Live well, Ethan. And you, Matthew.”

“Yes, Doctor.”

Naveen chuckled and, with one last wink, made his way to the bus stop. They watched in silence for a few minutes until the bus came round the corner. Naveen boarded, slipping out of sight, and the bus rolled away and disappeared.

“Did I do the right thing, Matthew?” Ethan asked in a voice barely above a whisper. He was staring into the distance, wide-eyed, as if seized with the idea of running after the bus.

“You did what you had to do for your friend.”

Ethan cleared his throat to regain composure.

“Thank you…for making me do this.”

“No thanks necessary.”

The two of them wandered back into the hospital. Matthew felt oddly detached and muffled, as if he were in a dream, until he heard Harper Emery’s voice.

“Ethan! Someone just told me they saw Naveen outside. Is he coming back to work?”

“No. He’s gone. And so am I.”

Matthew had never seen Ethan looking so lost. Something had broken inside of him. But then he did something Matthew thought he would never see: he removed his name tag and handed it to Harper.

“I’m done.” Was all he said.

“Wait…What? You’re quitting?!” Matthew cried. Harper was too stunned to say anything as Matthew raced alongside Ethan as he walked through the doors. His strides were impossibly long.

“You can’t just leave! People need you here! I need you…” Matthew felt ill when he thought of the investigation. He knew he was being selfish right now, but Ethan might not have been ending just his own career.

“I’m not the doctor you thought I was. It’s time we both accepted that.” Ethan’s voice was cold and empty as he stormed to the car park without looking back.

Matthew had no choice but to return to work with a hurricane in head as Dr Varma was paged to Chief Emery’s office. He barely remembered to double-check his patient’s chart before going into their room. His first patient of the day and he was greeted by a very unwelcome voice.

“Where have you been?” Aurora was raising an eyebrow at him.

“What are you doing here?” Matthew asked, stupidly.

“I’m your partner on the case,” Aurora said, with a subtle tone of stating-the-obvious.

“F…ffffantastic.” Matthew just about stopped himself from saying something he would regret. Aurora smiled, sickly sweet.

The patient in question was a ten-year-old boy, thin and shivery even under a thick blanket, accompanied by his tired mother. Matthew reached over to shake them both by the hand as Aurora introduced them as Tommy Liu and his mother, Sharon. Matthew nodded as she explained his condition, but how had Ethan been able to just drop everything and walk out the hospital?

Matthew refocused on the chart, which stated that he had been hospitalised two weeks ago and had been prescribed antibiotics: azithromycin.

“He had bacterial pneumonia,” Sharon explained, wearily. “The antibiotics made him feel better for a while, but now everything’s so much worse…” her breath hitched on the last syllable as she fought back tears. Ethan might have done the same if his pain weren’t beyond tears. “These stomach pains too…he keeps wanting to vomit, but nothing comes up.”

Aurora, having heard this whilst waiting for Matthew, was watching him suspiciously. Matthew did his best to ignore the stares burning the corner of his eye. He pictured Naveen slowly walking out of the hospital…Mrs Martinez waving goodbye as she left for her adventures, and how were his friends handling the interrogations by Harper Emery? Had it been Aurora who told her? And how would she even know?

“What do you think, Dr Valentine?”

Matthew blinked, coming back into the room. Sharon was looking at him expectedly and he’d missed every word.

“Sorry, Mrs Liu, could you please repeat that last bit?” he asked, silently chastising himself for being distracted. Work was usually the thing that kept him grounded. “I just need to be sure I have all the details.”

“Seriously?” Aurora muttered. Matthew didn’t look at her as Sharon repeated that Tommy was always cold; the weather was still decent enough for t-shirts, but Tommy would still shiver in his winter coat.

Matthew prepared Tommy for a blood test, chuckling when the boy asked him if he was a vampire. Sharon was stroking Tommy’s hair lovingly.

“Do you have any idea what’s wrong with him?” she asked. Matthew suggested it was something Tommy ate. Aurora immediately disputed him, pointing out that he was making assumptions. Matthew glared back at her as she regarded him coolly. She had never liked him, maybe she wanted to get rid of him after all.

Aurora snatched the blood sample from him as soon as they left Tommy’s room.

“I’ll get the sample to the lab.”

“I don’t need your help—”

“I’m not happy about this either,” Aurora growled. “I’ve got more important things to worry about than making sure a grown man does his job right, but hey! Let’s make the most of it since it sounds like you won’t be a doctor much longer.”

Matthew snapped.

“Well at least I earned my place at Edenbrook! Not all of us have been born into medical royalty, you know.”

“I’ve worked just as hard as you have, if not more! In case you forgot, I was number one in the—”

“And now you’re not! Funny how your little fan club disappeared when you lost the number one spot,” Matthew ranted, as interns and nurses turned to the sounds of their raised voices. “It’s almost as if nobody liked you and they all just used you for your name.”

The watching interns were smirking.  Aurora stood tall.

“Whatever. I don’t need any of them anyway.”

“Well, there’s a new number one so they don’t need to stomach you anymore. Please, tell me, is that why you’re trying to get me into trouble? Because you’re jealous?”

Aurora snorted, contemptuously. “I didn’t try to get you into trouble, Valentine. You don’t even cross my mind.”

She turned on her heel to the lab, ignoring the stares. The crowd parted like the Red Sea as she stormed past. Matthew left before the crowd could start staring back at him.

That night, he threw himself down on the sofa, groaning loudly. Tommy’s test results had proved fruitless, he was stuck working cases with Aurora for the foreseeable future, and the air between them had grown frostier by the hour.

“Let me make you some tea,” Sienna soothed as the roommates congregated in the living area. They were talking eagerly about their days, and the new ranking that was due to be posted soon. Matthew wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“My interview was almost kind of fun?” Sienna giggled as she set a warm mug on the coffee table. “It was the most acting I’ve done since senior play.” She told them about describing her and Matthew as ‘dolphins’ which had thrown Harper – something Sienna had never guessed she’d be able to do – but she had been adamant in the fact that Matthew was very moral and wouldn’t screw over a patient. Meanwhile, Jackie had taken an aloof approach, describing their friendship as nothing more than sharing a bathroom and an internet plan. After all, she was competing to be the best doctor, not for Edenbrook’s friendship awards.

“I did OK too,” Elijah said. “I told her you had nothing to do with Nash: he seemed like a creep and I thought she might need a ‘save’. She said it was inappropriate.”

“I just told her I didn’t know anything,” Landry muttered. “Not really a lie, since I left before you came up with whatever plan it was. But then she said that Dr Ramsey quit! Like…why and when did that happen?!”

“Oh yeah, that was nuts,” Elijah said, shaking his head.

Landry seemed to be in shock. Maybe he was working through the seven stages of grief.

“How could he just quit out of nowhere? And so soon after Dr Banerji did.”

“Someone said they saw Dr Banerji in the hospital this morning,” Elijah said, and then realisation suddenly dawned. “Matthew? Was Dr Banerji Patient X?”

“Yes,” Matthew said heavily, tired of secrets. “He was.”

Admitting the truth should have provided some relief, but Matthew didn’t feel any lighter.

“You knew the whole time,” Landry said, quietly. “And you didn’t tell us?”

Matthew winced at the accusation in his voice.

“Please guys, I wanted to but Dr Ramsey swore me to secrecy. It was too big a promise to break.”

“I get it.” Sienna rubbed his arm. “It wasn’t your secret to tell.”

Matthew nodded at her gratefully, finally sitting up. Jackie flopped down beside him.

“I think if the past few days have proven anything, it’s that your friends can keep secrets too,” she smiled. Matthew had to admit that she was right; his friends were like his own private army.

“How are you holding up, Matthew?” Elijah asked. “Sounds like you’ve had a hell of a day.”

“I’ll be alright. Can we just use our day off tomorrow to get as far away from the hospital as possible?”

Sienna suggested Martha’s Vineyard; she had wanted to go for a while now but Wayne hadn’t been able to find time. The others weren’t sure, thinking it would be full of snobs, but Sienna was an excellent bargain hunter and had found a sailboat rental for a relatively cheap price. Matthew wanted to invite Rafael – he would probably know the best places to go – but he already had plans: it was his mom’s birthday, he and his dad were taking her to the theatre and then out for dinner.

Still, Matthew was looking forward to a day out with his friends, especially when it dawned bright and sunny. They had woken up early to travel down to the coast and caught the ferry to Cape Cod. Matthew had a happy little reminisce about his helicopter ride over the area.

“I have to admit, this was a good idea,” Jackie grinned. She had traded her leather jacket for a tank top, letting her shoulders see the sun for once.  She stopped to take a picture of the ocean as it sparkled in the sunlight and reflected off the decks of the boats.

Landry was first to reach their sailboat – aptly named ‘Knot on Call’ – and called out to the others “All aboard!”

“I’m not running for anyone,” Jackie muttered as Matthew helped Elijah on board, Sienna right behind to assist with the wheelchair. Once they were all aboard, Jackie wasted no time stretching out on the deck trying to catch a sun tan. Elijah rolled himself nearer to the front where he locked his wheels in place and rifled in his bag for a comic book whilst Sienna sat on the side applying sunscreen. Landry was at the rudder, whistling happily, as if he’d been doing this his whole life. It transpired that he had: his father and grandfather were members of a boating club and their family had been vacationing on boats for as long as he could remember. Matthew left him to it.

With nothing else to think about than the sun and the sea, Matthew breathed in the salty air and lay down beside Sienna.

“This is exactly what I need.”

She passed him the sunscreen: he was going to need it.

“How have you been feeling lately?” Matthew asked, rubbing sunscreen on his face and neck.

“I know things have gotten crazy…but all things considered, I feel pretty good. Strong. I think, because I have my friends around, I can make it through anything. Do you know what I mean?”

Matthew looked out at the sea that gently rocked the boat. “I do.”

Sienna suddenly surprised him with a hug.

“You know I’m here for you, whenever you need. I sure hope you’re not the one thinking of quitting now.”

It was difficult to feel the stress of the hospital as he lay on the warm deck. Instead he told Sienna about how things were going with Rafael – obviously he was thrilled with his budding relationship – and Sienna told him that she had taught Spooky a trick already: she would hold up a treat, tap her chest and command ‘kiss’ and Spooky would hop onto her shoulder to sniff her face in a chinchilla kiss to be rewarded with the treat.

Eventually Sienna dozed off and Matthew left her to sleep. Jackie and Elijah seemed to be playing ‘I-Spy’ so he went to keep Landry company.

“How are you doing, Landry? You’ve been stressed lately.”

“Hm? Oh yeah. I guess the competition was doing me in. I just wanted that fellowship position so much.”

“You could still get it,” Matthew encouraged, but Landry shook his head.

“Not with Dr Banerji and Dr Ramsey off the team. They’ll probably get a senior doctor to fill at least one of the positions, but who’s to say they’ll want to train an intern? It’ll go to another senior.” Landry sighed. “Still, better than dismantling the team completely. But all that hard work gone to waste…”

“I wouldn’t say it was a waste,” Matthew argued. He barely recognised the nervous young man who constantly worried about making mistakes on his first few days. “I know I’ve made heaps of progress. If I had the chance to re-do the year, I don’t think I’d do anything different.”

“Hmm.”

Later that evening, they returned the sailboat and sat around a campfire, enjoying beers and burgers before they had to leave.

“Here’s to the last hour of pretending we have money!” Jackie toasted.

“I think I caught the sun,” Landry moaned.

A day of fresh, sea air had worn Matthew out and he slept heavily until his alarm cut through his unconsciousness. He fumbled for the off button, sighing as he considered the day ahead. The accusatory stares from Aurora. Being watched like a hawk by the chief and who knows who else? He was on egg shells, what happened if he made a genuine mistake but no one believed it? He had killed one patient, what if people assumed he was going to get more?!

A scratching at the door caught his attention and the chinchilla ran across his feet when he opened it. He picked her up, running his fingers over her soft fur. It comforted him for a few minutes…until he remembered Ethan had quit and Naveen had left to die. It wasn’t supposed to happen, he was supposed to be cured. After working at the hospital for years, how could it not help him at the eleventh hour? Not to mention how Ethan had quit knowing the full truth about Mrs Martinez; he was trusted, he could have stood up for Matthew if people assumed the worst about him. And there was still someone in the hospital who had been sabotaging, and they would probably just see Mrs Martinez as extra ammunition.

Sienna called him for breakfast. He wasn’t hungry.

All day he couldn’t figure out if he was hearing things when he heard accusatory tones in people’s voices. Tommy shivered on, Matthew caught Sharon weeping outside his room. He just hung his head and turned back down the corridor before she could see him. He knew he ought to be comforting her, but what she needed was what he didn’t have. His thoughts and prayers would mean nothing if he didn’t have a diagnosis. He couldn’t even do his job properly. Perhaps he wasn’t as good of a doctor as he had started to think. Perhaps he never had been.

“Valentine.” Aurora called out to him. “We got more test results for Tommy Liu.”

She handed him a printout and Matthew’s heart sank.

“Negative again? He hasn’t ingested anything, touched anything, contracted a parasite, nothing?” He flipped the printout over, despite knowing the other side was blank. “What do you think is wrong?”

Aurora’s eyes narrowed a tiny bit.

“You’re asking me?”

“Yes. You’re supposed to be my babysitter or something aren’t you?” He was verging on childishness, but too desperate to care.

“I…” Aurora hesitated, and then her face fell. “I’m trying, alright? I thought it was a parasite as well at first.” Her face hardened again. “Guess neither of us deserved to be number one—”

The buzz of the PA system interrupted: paging Dr Trinh back to Chief Emery’s office.

Matthew’s stomach squeezed. Had Chief Emery discovered new evidence? Was Sienna prepared for a second interrogation? He carefully leaned against the wall as his knees wobbled. Aurora rolled her eyes as she snatched the printout back before storming away.

Cold sweat beaded on the back of Matthew’s neck as he stumbled into the nearest toilet and locked himself into a cubicle, but nothing came up. He forced some ragged breaths and splashed cold water on his face before returning to work to pretend everything was normal. Martha’s Vineyard felt very far away and he suddenly wished he had taken the opportunity to walk out with Ethan.

He glanced through the window as he passed Tommy’s room. He was asking for a hug because he was still chilly and the look on Sharon’s face tore Matthew apart.

“I can’t help anybody,” he muttered as he walked away. He didn’t even know where he was going anymore. He had just spent half an hour pacing the same corridor.

“I have to stay strong,” he scolded himself. Patients were counting on him. He would prioritise work as he always did, and he would stay at Edenbrook all night to help Tommy if he had to.

Matthew turned the corner and walked straight into someone.

“Oh god, sorry, I—”

“Matthew, are you alright?”

He had walked into Rafael, too overwhelmed to realise. Rafael was now looking at him in shock.

“I…I’m not even close to alright,” he admitted, weakly.

“What happened?” Rafael reached for Matthew with concern, but Matthew grabbed his hand and started leading him away. He was cracking, Rafael’s kindness breaking through his defences, and he had to get somewhere private.

He dragged Rafael into the on-call room, which was mercifully empty. Rafael let go of his hand to lock the door. Matthew started to shake. His vision blurred and the tears spilled over and didn’t stop. He turned away so Rafael wouldn’t see, but of course Rafael just turned him back round and wrapped his arms around him tightly.

He kept Matthew safe and secure as he cried everything out. The way Matthew clung to him was concerning, and Rafael wondered how much stress he had really been carrying around. But he was in no state to talk at the moment, and all Rafael could do was hold him close and rub his back, murmuring that it would be OK.

Matthew hid his face against Rafael’s shoulder, pressing himself into his strong body, as if he could hide there permanently. Too late he realised that he was crying into Rafael’s uniform and tried to pull away, but Rafael wasn’t having it. He pulled Matthew back in, his one and only refuge.

Eventually Matthew started to pull himself together. His sobs began to subside, though he was still shaking and felt a little light-headed.

“You should sit down,” Rafael said, gently pushing him onto a bottom bunk. Matthew hid his face in his hands as Rafael ducked into the bathroom and ran the tap. It was so embarrassing that Rafael had to see him breaking down like that.

“Here.”

Rafael had come out the bathroom with some damp tissue.

“Thanks,” Matthew muttered, as he took it and mopped his face. The cool moisture felt good on his sore eyes.

Rafael tossed the tissue in the trash when he was done, then sat beside him with an arm tight around his shoulders. Matthew sighed and leaned into him. It might be embarrassing…but he didn’t want anyone else there.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He was hesitant, hinting that Matthew didn’t have to say anything he didn’t want to.

“I’m just…well, I can’t stop thinking about…about everything,” Matthew sniffled. It was too much energy to keep holding it in. “I can’t stop thinking about poor Mrs Martinez…and there’s an investigation into her death…I keep wondering if I’ll still have a career by the end of the week, or if I even deserve one…and Dr Banerji’s dying and Dr Ramsey quit…and I’m being sabotaged at every turn…and I can’t even diagnose this sweet little kid. I feel like everything’s crashing down around me.”

He thought he had run out of tears, but they were coming back. Rafael brushed one away.

“You could have talked to me if you were feeling this way, you know that right?” he said, saddened at the thought of Matthew suffering alone.

“I couldn’t,” Matthew protested. “Good doctors can handle whatever’s thrown at them. And I really want to be a good doctor.”

“From what I’ve seen, you already are,” Rafael argued. Why did people think they had to suffer to be great?

Matthew was shaking his head. “I’m not. I don’t know if I can keep doing this, it’s too much. Ethan Ramsey quit. What chance do I have?”

“Come on,” Rafael reasoned, rubbing his arm to calm him down; he was still shaky. “It will be hard, you never thought it wouldn’t be. But you do have a chance. And that’s why you’re here. You have the chance to make a difference. Same as me.”

He lifted Matthew’s chin, encouraging the other man to look at him.

“I believe in you Matthew.”

Matthew’s breath caught in his throat when he saw the soft earnestness in Rafael’s eyes. His voice was tender and sincerity rang in every word. There was no judgement, just unending concern and an ability to make it all better. Matthew wondered how he had ever been able to get by without him.

He hugged Rafael tightly, this time out of gratitude.

“My hero,” he sighed, propping his chin on Rafael’s shoulder.

“Aw, you don’t have to say that.” Rafael stroked Matthew’s hair as the shaking finally subsided. “Listen, Matthew, can I tell you what I see when I look at you?”

“Sure.”

“I don’t think it’s the pressure weighing on you. I’ve seen you in action; I know you can handle a tough situation.”

“So what is it?”

“Your doubts. The thing you’ve held inside you all this time. I know what it’s like to be unsure whether you belong somewhere. And, despite all your success, it seems to me that you’ve never been sure of your place here. But you should be.”

After all, he had been unsure of his place amongst Matthew’s friends, but Matthew was convincing him otherwise. Now he could return the favour, making sure Matthew would look in the mirror and see the same person Rafael saw right in front of him. When Matthew finally smiled, he knew he had done his job.

Matthew gave him a tender kiss, then sighed as he glanced back at the door.

“Ready to go back to work?” Rafael asked.

“I guess so.” Matthew was just grateful his pager wasn’t going off. Rafael stood, offering his hand to pull Matthew to his feet…and then kept hold of it.

“Do you, um, want to hang out after work? We could get something to eat and explore the city again…or I’d be happy to just walk you home if you want.”

“That sounds perfect.” Matthew was touched. “I’ll let you know when I finish up.”

They had one more tight hug before leaving the on-call room, Matthew headed one way and Rafael the other. The storm in Matthew’s head was gone and he could finally breathe properly again. After stopping for a cup of water, he turned back to Tommy’s chart, feeling the calmest he had been since he had met Tommy. His brain worked better this way as he poured over the charts and test results.

I don’t think it’s the pressure weighing on you…

What was the cause?

The thing you’ve held inside you all this time…

Tommy had been on antibiotics before…

I have it right here in my purse: azithromycin…

“…Oh my god.”

After a quick brainstorm, Matthew and Aurora stood in Tommy’s room explaining their diagnosis. It hadn’t been an external cause like Matthew had first thought. Matthew sat at the edge of Tommy’s bed as he explained it.

“We all have different kinds of bacteria in our digestive systems—”

“But isn’t bacteria bad?”

“Actually, some bacteria are your friends. They live with you in harmony and help you digest your food and get big and strong.”

Aurora took over.

“When you started taking antibiotics a few weeks ago, the azithromycin did its job too well and attacked the good bacteria as well as the bad.”

“Oh!”

“That’s why he’s so sick? From…good bacteria?” Sharon asked.

“Exactly,” Matthew nodded. “The good bacteria started producing toxins as a defence mechanism. That’s what’s poisoning Tommy.”

“There’s no way to re-adjust the bacteria,” Aurora said. “But it was just one strain out of many that started attacking you, Tommy. Once that strain is killed off, your digestive system will be fine and the good bacteria will be restored.”

Sharon looked extremely relieved. She pressed her lips together to keep from crying again. Tommy was fascinated by the prospect of bacteria friends and promised he would look after every single one of them.

The doctors stepped into the hallway to let their patients rest, when Aurora turned to Matthew.

“Why would you bring me along for that?”

“Because you’re my partner on the case.”

“You could have taken credit by yourself. Gotten back into the residents good graces. What’s with the olive branch?” She was suspicious, but not hostile.

Matthew ran a hand through his scruffy hair.

“I know you didn’t rat me out to your aunt.”

Aurora blinked. She shifted on the spot, folding her arms and pursing her lips.

“How?”

“Because I realised who did. Turns out we all carry our own worst enemies with us.” He looked back at Aurora. “I’m sorry I blew up at you and accused you of nepotism. You earned your place here as much as the rest of us.”

Aurora gave him a measuring look, and then a single nod of the head. Matthew bid her goodbye and started walking towards the locker room, hoping for a chance to gather his thoughts for a minute. It hadn’t been a lightbulb moment that had led to his realisation, just the slow process of facts clicking together. Looking back, it seemed crazy that it had taken so long to figure out.

He was angry and hurt, but finally knowing the truth was a huge weight off his back. He could stop thinking of hypotheticals and focus on dealing with the situation. The first step would be to tell his friends…his real friends.

Matthew opened the door to the locker room and stopped dead, his blood running cold. The person he had least wanted to see was already in there, his back to him.

“It was you,” Matthew stated. “You told Mrs Martinez’s family.”

Landry froze, and then turned to face Matthew. His expression was completely neutral.

“Of course I did.”

[starry-hughes]

I have a wholesome squish/mooch moment for everyone. I feel like she has like separate songs that remind her of each of her brothers and one that reminds her of all 3 of them and will play them/send it to them when she misses them. or will like text them that the song came on randomly when she was driving somewhere and how she thought of them.🥹🫶🏻

this is so sweet

jack is feeling a little homesick and he gets a text like “Jacky! our song is playing on the radio!” and sends him a video of her singing their favorite song and he just tears up a little

[television-overload]

What are the standout soundtrack moments for you in NCIS? Are there songs that you listen to because of the show or will always remind you of NCIS when you hear them?

For me I have three that come to mind-

Nothing More by The Alternate Routes is in the Season 11 Christmas episode, Homesick. It plays over the last three minutes of victory over a case solved, kids healed, Tony deciding McGee's joining him for a cocktail, and Ellie giving Gibbs her mom's coffee cake.

In Shiva just after Tony tells Ziva "Aht lo leh-vahd" Not Alone by Patty Griffin plays while the team attends Jackie Vance's funeral and Ziva mourns in Israel. The lyrics repeat "You are not alone / Laying in the light / Put out the fire in your head / And lay with me tonight"

The Season 5 episode, Family, features Matt Nathanson's All We Are (a song so very of the time). It's what accompanies the moment Tony chooses his job and more specifically his team over Jeanne and burns her letter.

NCIS chooses lyriced music from the editing toolbox a lot less than many shows so I guess I'm curious if anything stands out for you?

Oh gosh this is such a good question

I clearly need to go through and listen to all these that you mentioned because more often than not I'm focused on what's happening on screen rather than the music, but I do have a couple that I'll never forget

The first is "I'm Glad There Is You" by Jane Monheit which of course was playing when Tony and Ziva danced in Berlin 🥲

And then the song that plays when Tony receives that last message over IM from Ziva in 11x01, and he says "Talk to me, Ziva. Where are you?" That's "If I Could Be Where You Are" by Enya, gets me every time

Now this one I don't have on my spotify, but I should. It's "The Viper" by Paul Lenart, et. al. This one is the song that Abby plays as the team leaves Kate's funeral in season 3.

Those are the three that stand out the most to me! Now I want to hear what others have to say!

[cyber-streak-extra]

It’s Ralpho time :) The ITP: Happy Ending AU was made by @maraariana01

Title: The Moments Before

Description: Ralpho’s home closed down——for reasons that he doesn’t know or understand, and the rabbit dives into his older memories.

Ralpho leaned against Spring Bonnie, his ears gently twitching. The two were laying on the couch together, with the bunny attempting to find a rom-com that he’d mentioned earlier.

When he’d first arrived at the house, Ralpho had noticed that it seemed to only be him and Spring Bonnie—and Jinx, who was staying back in Oswald’s room, sleeping on top of his bed.

He’d always noticed how she didn’t seem to like Spring Bonnie all that much. Ralpho wasn’t sure how Jinx thought of him—but she didn’t seem to hiss at him, like how she did towards the bunny.

“Where’s Oz and them?” He’d questioned shortly after not seeing them. Jinx was here, but the rabbit also had failed to spot Fetch. Had he gone with them?

“Out visiting his grandma with Thomas and Jackie.” Spring Bonnie had written while bringing him over to the couch.

Although Ralpho was trying his best to stay focused on the bunny, and the movie that he had finally managed to find, the rabbit couldn’t help but feel... distracted.

No—more homesick, really. He felt both. Homesick and distracted. The rabbit missed the camp—he missed his home. He missed doing his job.

The reason for it closing down in the first place was still unknown to the rabbit. Back when he was still there, he had assumed that the camp had been doing well. What had happened?

Ralpho let out a sigh, shutting his eyes for a moment.

...

Alive? The rabbit blinked once, then twice, as he looked around the building that he’d just been brought into. I’m alive? His ears twitched gently, covering his eyes—causing the rabbit to move them.

There wasn’t much to see in the room that he’d been placed in, sitting against the wall. Yet, earlier, he’d heard a couple of voices. He didn’t know what they looked like. Only now, the rabbit was able to see.

Slowly, leaning against the wall, he started to try and stand up—although his legs felt all wobbly. He could feel his ears twitching once more—and this time, it was because someone was approaching.

Just as he fell back down onto the floor below, a door opened, and two people entered, making their way towards the rabbit. He watched, curious.

“Still looks real creepy...” The first one sighed, kneeling down in front of the orange rabbit. She was holding cymbals. She set one down, while taking hold of one of the rabbit’s hands.

“I don’t think so,” The second one gave a shrug, watching as his friend placed the cymbal in the rabbit’s left hand, then repeated the process with the right one.

The first one stood back up, and glanced between her friend and the orange rabbit. “Well, anyway,” She sighed, starting to make her way back towards the door. Her friend tried to keep up.

“...Who’re we going to have wear Ralpho for the whole... whatever they called it? I’m not doing it.” The second began to say something, but they were both muffled after going through the door.

Ralpho? For a moment, he felt something beginning to wag, even if it was quick—his tail? My name is Ralpho.

...

He was about to do the first Bunny Call. Before today, he’d heard a lot of what his job was going to be. It seemed that he wouldn’t do it to every cabin—just new people that signed up.

Ralpho glanced up at the clock on the wall. 4:56 AM. He heard the sound of footsteps, and then the sound of someone entering. It was Noah—the man that was assigned to wearing him and performing the job.

The rabbit remained still, not saying anything, just like how he usually was whenever someone happened to be with him. He allowed Noah to put him on. It felt a little strange.

“Alright, let’s get this done...” Noah sighed. To anyone else, his voice would’ve sounded a little muffled. Yet to Ralpho, it was still as clear as before he’d put him on.

Noah and Ralpho made their way out of the building, and towards the first cabin.

...

By the time they’d both reached the cabin, it was about 5:04 AM. Ralpho still didn’t know too much about his job—so, he watched and waited. This was his job. He’d need to focus and learn.

Before they ever entered, by looking through the nearby window, Ralpho could tell that there seemed to be about five people in there. All sleeping, although one of the five was moving around a little.

Then, that’s when it happened. Noah—and Ralpho—entered the cabin. The man began clashing the cymbals loudly. A scream could be heard, but Ralpho hadn’t been the cause—it had still been Noah.

His ears twitched a little bit, lowering ever so slightly, as the cymbals continued. The first three figures—all kids—one boy and one girl, all immediately sat up at the alarming noises.

When Ralpho saw them in the dark, they all looked relatively the same, except for the eye color of one of the three, and all of their pajamas. Triplets, he guessed.

The other two figures, both older women, sat up finally. The one with black curly hair seemed more awake—while the one beside her, with straight brown hair, looked more tired and annoyed.

She turned and stared at the other with the curly hair, who could only grin a little bit and snicker.

All three of the kids were beginning to laugh a little bit, and Ralpho couldn’t help but smile just a little bit. His tail wagged. Although, Noah hadn’t noticed any of that.

Noah had stopped all of the noise, and began making his way out of the cabin. Ralpho remembered that there was still about five other cabins that the two needed to get to.

Ralpho already loved this.

...

Ralpho laid there against the wall, watching the woman try to patch a hole in his leg. What she was using was yellow and white—just like his bowtie.

During a previous Bunny Call, when he and Noah had been heading back from it, Noah had tripped, getting Ralpho’s leg caught in something. When he managed to pull away, it ended up tearing.

That had happened a few nights ago, yet they hadn’t patched him up yet. Until now, that is. They’d all just been forgetting until today—but after the tear, he hadn’t been doing any Bunny Calls. Which was unfortunate.

The woman—who had a name-tag which read ‘Alexis’—was someone that Ralpho remembered. She was the one who had given him his cymbals. He’d seen her a lot. But, only now, did he learn her name.

“He needs to be more careful...” Alexis muttered to herself. “All that other stuff... and now while he’s doing this?” By the looks of it, she was almost done.

Ralpho remained almost entirely still—although, he couldn’t fully stop his ears from doing a little twitch here and there. Yet, Alexis didn’t seem to notice any of that.

“And... done.” Alexis sighed in relief, setting everything down. She lifted her head up, coming face to face with the rabbit, and visibly jumped in surprise, like she’d forgotten that he was what she was working on.

“Still creepy...” She frowned, slowly standing up, and beginning to make her way towards the door with what she’d brought with her. Although, before she left, Alexis glanced back at the rabbit.

“Uh...” Alexis sighed. She gave the tiniest smile to the still rabbit. “You’re... welcome for the patch up.” She shrugged to herself, before finally leaving.

Thank you. Ralpho thought, as he watched the woman leave. He glanced down at the patch on his leg. It looked nice, he liked it.

...

Ralpho wasn’t sure what this little boy was doing in here. Aside from himself and the child, nobody else happened to be. At least for the moment.

The boy, with long brown hair, and a blue and green eye, was sitting beside the motionless (aside from his ears, those always seemed to move rather frequently) rabbit.

He was crying. Ralpho didn’t understand why the boy was here, or the reason for his crying. He remembered seeing him, at least—a day or two ago. The boy had been apart of a family that went through a Bunny Call.

Aside from that, Ralpho hadn’t seen him until now. He knew the boy had a family—shouldn’t he be with them? What was he doing here? Had he gotten separated from them, somehow?

Ralpho’s eyes glanced towards the side of him when he felt something grab his arm. It was the young boy, seemingly clinging to his arm for comfort as he cried.

Ralpho frowned. What was he supposed to do? Should he do something? The rabbit had never really dealt with anything like this before—and, he had never fully interacted with anyone here.

He was thought to not be sentient. That he was just a simple mascot suit to be worn for Bunny Call’s—and that’s what he technically should be—he didn’t understand how he was alive.

He’d kept up the little act so far. If he dropped it, what would happen?

Yet, Ralpho wanted to try and do something for the boy, he just wasn’t sure what that could be yet. His only interaction with the children was only ever whenever he went to do his job. And he never stuck around long.

Then, the rabbit got an idea. Slowly, using his arm that wasn’t being held by the sobbing child, Ralpho began to reach up for his large hat.

Although, when he started to hear a couple of approaching footsteps, he dropped his arm. The crying boy turned to look at where the footsteps were coming from.

Four people entered the room—one of them was Alexis, while the other three, although Ralpho didn’t fully recognize them, knew that he’d seen them with the boy during a Bunny Call.

“Jay!” One of the three, an older woman, called out. To her left was, who Ralpho assumed, the woman’s partner. And beside them, was a younger girl—a teenager.

“M-Mama!” Jay hurriedly stood up, and rushed over to the three—Alexis moving out of the way of the little reunion.

His mom brought him into a hug, her partner joining the hug, while his older sister stood to the side, simply watching.

“What were you doing here?” Ralpho heard Alexis ask the young boy—Jay. He was wondering the same thing.

“Separated... couldn’t find them...” Jay responded, still hugging his mother. “D-didn’t know... what else to do... so came here...”

“But why?” His older sister questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Jay pointed towards the motionless Ralpho nearby. “I like him...”

His mother gave a little nod, before picking her son up, then glancing at her daughter and partner. “Let’s get going.”

Ralpho watched the family leave. Alexis glanced at him, before following the family out.

...

The rabbit huffed. He knew it was time to do his job. He knew it. Yet, Noah wasn’t here yet—where was he? He thought that the man would’ve been here already.

For a second, Ralpho thought about waiting a little longer—maybe Noah would be here soon. Although, the rabbit quickly decided against that.

It needed to be done now—his job needed to get done. Aside from when he’d been torn up for a couple of days, he’d never missed a Bunny Call. Although, during those few days, nobody had requested one, either.

Frowning, Ralpho stood up, grabbing his cymbals, and began making his way outside. If Noah wasn’t going to come, then the rabbit supposed he’d have to do it himself.

...

“Again?” Alexis muttered to herself, staring at the hat in her hands. There was a tear right in the middle of it. After another Bunny Call—when he hadn’t overslept—Noah tore something again.

She’d already patched up Ralpho’s leg and arm tears. This was the third time she’d done it. But, at least it wasn’t happening more often. This time, it seemed to be going much quicker.

During the last few incidents—with his leg and arm—Ralpho had been able to feel it. He wasn’t exactly sure if it was pain, or something else—but he hadn’t liked it.

With the hat, he hadn’t realized that it had gotten torn, at least not until Noah had to pick it up after it fell, and both of them noticed it.

“Done. Here you go, Ralpho,” Alexis yawned, placing the hat, which now had a blue patch stitched in the middle, back on top of the orange rabbit’s head. She struggled for a second, before managing to put it through the ear holes.

“Let’s just hope that’s the last tear you get.” She muttered, standing back up. For a moment, as she looked at the rabbit, she thought that his grin was growing... just a little.

Although, she was tired, so she didn’t think much of it. She’d stayed up for so long. All she wanted to do was go to sleep. Giving a half wave to the motionless rabbit, she left the room.

...

They’d left him. Ralpho didn’t understand. Everything had been fine—until he heard Alexis and all of the others discussing something as of recently. Then, it happened.

The camp had closed. Hadn’t everything been going well? Ralpho frowned. He’d heard occasional discussions about something with the camp—but he didn’t know what exactly they were about.

Then, simply a week later, Camp Etenia had closed. It seemed so sudden. When he’d woken up from a little nap in the early morning—even if he didn’t need sleep—something was off.

Everyone, and practically everything (at least somewhat important things), was gone. Although, Ralpho himself was still here. Nobody had decided to take him.

He’d settled on staying there for a couple of days after that—but nothing had ever happened. It had just been him there—confused and bored.

The rabbit’s boredom was part of the reason of what he did next: leave. After thinking it over, Ralpho had settled on leaving the camp. It was his home, yet he didn’t have anything else to do any longer—he didn’t have his job anymore.

Ralpho was still wandering around, he hadn’t left the camp all that long ago—if he looked behind him, even if it was a little far back, he could still easily see some of it. Ralpho sighed.

What was he going to do now?

...

The orange rabbit opened his eyes, and glanced towards his right side. Spring Bonnie had pressed on the rom-com, although it was paused at the moment—he was fiddling with the remote, wanting to check something.

He felt Ralpho shift, and turned to look at him. The bunny smiled, and Ralpho smiled back at him. Gently, his tail wagged for a moment or two. “Ready, Spring?”

Spring Bonnie nodded, and turned back to the TV, as he finally finished fiddling, and pressed play on it. Ralpho glanced between him and the film that had started to play.

Ralpho missed the camp—he missed doing his job, yes, but in a way, the rabbit was also somewhat glad that it had ended up closing down.

He loved being around Spring Bonnie—loved him in general—he had a full list somewhere that contained everything he loved about him—Ralpho wanted to show him that later.

The orange rabbit loved being with the bunny and the rest of his family. He wasn’t sure if he’d have met him and the others if the camp hadn’t closed.

Ralpho was glad that he was here right now with Spring Bonnie and his family. The camp closing had lead him to wander—to end up in the town—to end up running into the bunny.

Before Ralpho could start thinking too much of the possibilities, he felt Spring Bonnie open his coat a little, and wrap his arm around the orange rabbit. Both Spring Bonnie and his coat were warm and comfortable.

Ralpho smiled, tail wagging once more. “Love ya, Spring.”

[chessalein]

Todays chapter art for Chapter 22 of "Bringing back the sun" \o/ I really like this one.

Jackie uses the time Nori is s(nori)ng away behind him. (a pun! hihihihi) and tries yet again to call Vincent. This time it kind of works and he can finally have his talk with his friend.

More pics and edits from that shoot under the cut that hopefully works!

Other angle and another edit.

Here I was like "Jackie calling home and longing to meet his friends again on earth q_q poor homesick mountain" But then I remembered that they are supposed to be on the Crystal palace to meet him at the top. Upsi... well :) I still made it, but sadly the edit wasn't needed anymore. I still like it!

[elvenbeard]

House party scenes 4/5: Judy and Viktor and V

Okay, so, when I set up the birthday party pics and started thinking about interesting character constellations, I didn't think of these three at first but... it makes sense tbh!

All three of them grew up in/near Night City. They know its worst sides better than most who came here later in life, but they all deal very differently with living here.

Judy does by trying to change things for the better, but she almost destroys herself in the process. There is no changing Night City, not by herself, not even with help, and not in a timeframe that would make her happy. And so, the best thing for her is to leave, before the city swallows her whole like it did so many others.

The "tradition" she's referencing in this little scene is a headcanon I have for her and Vince. Occasionally throughout the game they would meet up just to chat, because for the longest time, V feels like she's the only person he can openly talk to. Since Judy often sees things differently from him or at least offers different perspectives, their conversations are quite enlightening. On one of those evenings they end up just shouting out their frustrations from the rooftop of Judy's apartment building and give Night City the middle finger (I have an old VP shoot of this that I never posted, I really wanna redo it XD).

On the polar opposite side is Viktor, who is one of those people who managed just stick around forever and somehow made it to an older age in Night City. They're not consumed by it but became a part of it. Viktor's accepted that he'll never make it big, that he'll never change anything about the way things work. Some may call it resignation, but I think he'd say it's adaption. He is content in his situation, has his reliable job and income and circle of acquaintances, that's all he needs. Yeah, sure, he still sees the worst side of the city regardless, he sees people like Jackie and V come and go, die way too young for nothing, and I think he has grown a bit numb to it all. It's just a part of life in this town, one of the worst, but he knows fighting it would be in vain, so he makes the best out of it all.

Vince is somewhere in-between the two. He has this kind of toxic love-hate relationship with Night City. It's his home, there's so many good and happy memories attached to so many of its corners. It's a breathtaking city that keeps catching him off guard with its beauty, and to a thrill-seeker like him it also never ever gets boring, and he loves it for all that. Still though, he hates Night City's dark sides as much as anyone with some basic human decency would, although he is also beginning to grow a bit numb to it all - his time at Arasaka definitely contributing majorly to it. He tried leaving the city once, in his early 20s, because there were just too many shadows chasing him at the time. But he ended up with the worst homesickness and returned after just a few months. He can't live with it, neither without it, always trying to find his place somewhere. He's making the best out of what the city's throwing at him, hoping that, even if he can't change the city as a whole, he can at least impact a few lives in a positive way. In his mind, Night City offers opportunities to someone like him that he couldn't find anywhere else (or so he thinks at least), and it's why he could not picture himself leaving it again at this point in time, at least not permanently.

[themarshmallownerd]

The End and the Beginning

Summary: In another time, on another Earth, the world was divided in two by the catastrophic mistakes of a powerful demigod. A hundred years later, a runaway fugitive, Natalie, unwittingly sets into motion the events of an ancient prophecy that foretells the Earth will finally be reunited again through the powers of love and hope.

Relationships: Lottie Matthews/Natalie Scatorccio; minor Shauna Shipman/Jackie Taylor; minor Van Palmer/Taissa Turner

Ratings: Mature (M) for canon-typical violence and language

Link: Chapter 1 (AO3)

A/N: I know, I know I have a handful of other projects to finish, and I have definitely not forgotten about them! That being said, the show Yellowjackets has completely taken over my brain in the past few months, and this particular AU practically possessed me a few weeks ago. So here is my humble offerings to the LottieNat fandom, a Razia's Shadow AU that absolutely no one asked for!

Thanks as always to my friend @i-write-shakespeare-not-disney for indulging my ideas, and all the different versions of this AU I've always wanted to do! ily

Preview: "Propped up against a short stack of identical siblings, there was a blue book with a portrait of the faceless Spirit of the Wilderness on the cover. The same portrait she used to seek out in the library back home.

Upon stepping up to the stand for a closer look, she found it wasn’t exactly the same as the version of the book back home. The cover was a lighter shade of blue, more reminiscent of the Light Kingdom’s sky, and the detailing was done in silver as opposed to gold. The text, however, looked to be the same as Natalie carefully skimmed through some of the pages. Even the illustrations were the same, aside from the silver coloring.

She tilted the book around to show the cover to the saleswoman. “How much for this one?”

Despite her time spent in the Light Kingdom, she still half-expected to be met with disdain for indulging in fantastical stories, the same way Javi was usually scoffed at back in the Dark Lands.

The bookseller, however, only grinned widely at the cover. “Oh, the World Genesis Tale,” she said, voice thick with affection. “Sammy—my boy, he always favors those stories the most.”

“Yeah,” Nat replied, turning the cover back around to look at how the Spirit’s portrait glittered beneath the light of the sun as opposed to meager table lamps. “Mine did too…”

The woman sold the book for whatever was left in Natalie’s pocket. It wasn’t much, but the seller seemed genuinely grateful for the patronage.

At first, Nat went to put the book into the satchel she had brought with her, alongside her other purchases. Yet, at the last minute, she decided against it, wanting to carry the book in her arms instead. Something about hugging it to her chest balmed her soul, made the book’s presence feel more tangible. It reminded her that it was there, that a version of the same stories she once shared with her favorite pupil now belonged to her.

It was like a piece of her homeland had followed her over the divide.

For all its faults, the Dark Lands was her home once. She couldn’t help but miss it sometimes. She missed Javi following her around, asking her more and more questions about the world as he warmed up to her more with each passing day. She missed Travis contesting her on trivial things that never really mattered in the grand scheme of things, keeping her wit sharp in the process. She even missed the darkness itself. At night, when she retired to her room at the inn, she would always draw the curtains over the window closed, casting a layer of shadow over herself as she slept.

It didn’t completely cure her homesickness, but it did offer a temporary solace at least.

Now, she had her book of genesis fables, too. Hopefully, it would also help with those bittersweet moods of nostalgia. She already felt comforted by the familiarity of the Spirit’s face—or rather, lack thereof—as she peeked down at the cover in her arms once more.

The Spirit…

Natalie hadn’t realized that as her mind wandered, her feet had begun to as well, carrying her past the marketplace street and into the neighboring meadow that painted the threshold between the City and the surrounding woodlands. When she finally glanced up to see where they had led her, she gasped at the sight that greeted her.

The Spirit is real?

As she processed the sight before her more fully, she realized that—of course—that wasn’t true. Rather, it had been a trick of perspective from where she was standing.

Across the ways from her, at the very edge of the treeline that marked the starting place of the woods, another figure was standing amidst the grassy expanse of land. From Natalie’s vantage point, it looked like they possessed a great crown of antlers branching out from either side of their head.

However, in the next few heartbeats, the figure shifted in their place, revealing the antlers to be from an actual deer that happened to be standing behind them. In fact, there were deer surrounding the figure on all sides, grazing on the grass as if their human companion wasn’t even there.

The figure’s voice sounded like a woman’s. What exactly she was saying was lost in the several yards of space between herself and Natalie, but her tone sounded as soft as the shade of pink in her long, draping gown. The fabric pooled around her as she knelt down amidst the circle of deer, offering her hand out to the smallest of the bunch. A thin, tentative fawn that was half the size of the others, with fading white spots lining the sides of its body. It stumbled over to the stranger with a high-pitched bleat that Natalie could hear even across the distance between them.

“It’s alright,” Natalie heard as she drifted closer. She watched as the fawn also ambled closer to the stranger, its short muzzle sniffing at the long waves of midnight hair that spilled over her shoulder. “You’re alright. I know—I know it’s a little different. But it will help keep you strong.”

The fawn hesitated only a moment more before shoving its tiny nose into the palm of her hand, lapping up whatever she was offering.

“There you are,” the stranger cooed her encouragement. “See? Just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s harmful. You just have to have trust. And, who knows?”

For a heartbeat, the fawn stopped snuffling against her palm to look up, as if actually listening to her words.

“Maybe you’ll even grow to like it. Just because you can get by now, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to search for something better. Sometimes, even people struggle with that. Even me.”

[ichisoarz]

Okay so today I participated in Barbieheimer together with some of my roommates and here are some of my hot takes (spoilers abound!):

Oppenheimer is not clear in what it wants to be; is it a biopic about a man who created the atomic bomb, is it a commentary on the US government regarding war, or is it a legal drama? It has elements of all three but not enough of each to satisfy me.

For all that the movie is a biopic, I feel that we spend an extremely limited time actually getting to know who Oppenheimer *is* as a person. What was his youth like, why is he disapproving of Jackie (his brother's wife), why does he continue to bring flowers to Jean, what motivated him to try to kill his professor? We get throw away lines such as "I was homesick", "I was going through a rough two-year period back then", and the sum-up of character traits when he is recruited by General Groves, but a lot of it feels distant, like Nolan just read the novel the film was based on and all the transcripts and did very little else to actually dive deep into the psychology of the man. A lot is implied or inferred of course, but I feel like so much of it is cold and unfeeling. The only good two moments of character work in my opinion were his breakdown after Jean and the whole sequence regarding Trinity, the rest feels very shallow to me personally.

Now when it comes to social commentary, the film puts itself in kind of a weird position. On the one hand it greatly criticises the US war mindset and its cruelty, which I greatly appreciated, but on the other hand it gives almost no sympathy or even acknowledgement of the victims of Oppenheimer's work. The Japanese were hardly mentioned and absolutely no mention was made of any victims of the New Mexico tests, only a throw-away like of returning the land to the natives. Now you might argue that talking about the victims is for a different movie to do, since this is a biopic about Oppenheimer, but to have almost no acknowledgement of the negative impact of his work and the people that he hurt feels weird. We spend a lot more time hearing about what a great scientist he was and much less time hearing about the devastating effects of the atomic bombs that's for sure. Like even a conversation with a survivor of testing in New Mexico that he comes across while riding, to humanise the harm he caused, that would have been great! It might be too unsubtle, but then again Truman's bit was not exactly subtle either.

Finally, the legal drama. I was fine with it when it was just the legal case regarding Oppenheimer, since it seemed to be an important part of his story, but I did not care for Strauss' part at all. To have one of the main climaxes of your story be Oppenheimer's hearing versus Strauss' while having basically the same thing happen in both, as well as Strauss' weird ass villain monologue, just did not work for me. Why did we go from an examination of Oppenheimer and the cruelty of the US war system, to some minister appointment hearing? I guess Strauss was cruel to Oppenheimer, but was this meant as some sort of karma lesson?? What was the point?

Besides those larger criticisms of the film, I also found the cuts of some scenes to just be kind of weird.

Moving on to Barbie, I really liked the movie for being a 2-hour commercial. It was fun, very self-aware (maybe a little bit too much at times), and it was gorgeously designed (set, clothing, cinematography). I have some slight issues with Barbie (much less than with Oppenheimer), but this is a hot takes post so here they are:

Obviously due to it being a commercial some things were treated in very specific ways. The Mattel guys being weird and kind of harmless in the end ("Why don't we just let things stay like this?" "Because I want to make girls' dreams some true!" Also the tickle thing) is quite obvious, along with all the things regarding the teenager.

Ooh boy the teen, poor girl. She made some very good points upon meeting Barbie, all of which immediately become less convincing when she ends it with calling Barbie a fascist. I mean the word does get used too often now by teens, but Barbie herself also only takes away fascist instead of the other very good points, sooo yeah. Also she very quickly approached Disney Channel levels of wholesomeness with her mom after going to Barbieland, she lost her style, lost her meanness and was mostly just smiling happily in the background. All of that felt kinda yikes to me lol.

Finally, I was not fully comfortable with the final resolution talk with Ken, the sheer amount of emotional labour Barbie was doing there when she herself is just discovering these things and him needing to be rejected several times from his advances all felt kinda yikes to me too.

Congrats on reading this big post if you made it this far, feel free to agree/disagree on anything, these are just my thoughts and opinions!

[leobashi]

Jackie had run away. The spring semester has just ended and Jackie didn’t mention any summer plans. He had quit his job a few days ago and his boyfriend, Marvin, was left with no notice except a text. “I’ll be out of town for a few days.” Marvin was worried instantly.

He called Jackie’s roommate Anthony. Jackie had left the night before, packing a bag and setting off in his car. He didn’t say where he was going and he although Anthony didn’t notice it at the time, he wasn’t his usual chipper self. Marvin contacted JJ, a member of the film club Jackie was a part of in case he might’ve mentioned something. He had nothing. He tried to contact Jackie himself multiple times, but there were no answers.

Marvin knew Jackie was going through a hard time, he had been struggling with his classes and barely pulled through this semester. Jackie confided in him about his fears about his choice in classes, his major, the school, his path in life. Marvin assured him that things will be okay and swore to be with him the entire way through. But now, Jackie had disappeared

Marvin was pacing back and forth in his small dorm, muttering to himself and trying again and again to call Jackie. “Jackie is a capable adult,” his dorm mate Henrik reminded him. “He will call back. Do not worry.”

When Marvin drops him off at the airport the next day, Henrik suggests that Jackie might’ve returned home to his family like him.

“How do you know he went all the way back to his childhood home?”

“Do you remember Peter’s party last week? After the party when you had fallen asleep in the car, Jackie and I ended up talking. We were both a long way from home and we talked about the things we missed. He sounded really homesick. And besides, where else would he have gone?”

“Why wouldn’t he tell me though?”

“Returning home can be difficult,” Henrik says with a heavy smile. “Have you met his family yet? I know your family lives here in the city.”

“I’ve talked to his sister and Dad over the phone before, but I haven’t met any of them in person yet.”

Henrik shrugs. “There’s a lot of reasons why he might not have told you. But I think you should trust him.”

They say their goodbyes and Marvin thinks about what Henrik said.

Later that night, Jackie finally calls back

“Jackie! Where are you?? Are you okay??” Marvin hears a heavy sigh on the other side.

“I’m okay. Don’t worry about about me. Uh I’m sorry for worrying you. That was kinda stupid of me.”

Marvin lets go of a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. The tension in his body is released when he hears Jackie’s voice. “Where are you? When will you be coming back?”

“Well… I don’t know when I’ll be back. I’m at home. My parents’ home. It was kind of an impulsive decision.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? This isn’t really like you.”

“Yeah! Yeah… I’m fine.” There’s a moment of silence before Jackie speaks again. “I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come over. Well, my sister convinced me to ask you. ‘Cause it was mean of me to visit without bringing you to meet her in person. And uh without telling you either.”

Marvin can almost see Jackie fiddling with his hoodie strings nervously. He was still worried, it sounded like Jackie was hiding something, but at least he wasn’t pushing Marvin away.

He lets out a breath. “Yeah, tell your sister I’ll be delighted.”

“Heh, yeah, I’ll let her know.”

“Jackie. I’m here for you, okay?”

Jackie hesitates. “Yeah, I know. Thank you.”

No, no you haven’t. But tell us anyway

Aight so this au is supposed to be a feel sad au that's just sad. Tw: suicide

Jackie returns to his hometown during a period of his life where he feels lost and reminisces on his childhood. He goes to the treehouse where he spent his summers playing. He's surprised to find that nobody has messed with it and no other kids have tried to claim it as their own. But then again, everybody in his small town knew what happened there.

Everything is the same as he left it. The ladder is broken, but he doesn't care to go up anyway. He sits at the base and stares up at the broken rope hanging from one of the branches. The same rope where he found his childhood friend Chase hanging

This au was inspired by Treehouse by Alex G. I also have Alien Blues by Vundabar in my playlist for it. I imagine them from Chase's perspective.

Half Alive released a new song Did I Make You Up which I imagine is from Jackie's perspective trying to cope with what Chase did. He wonders what Chase thought about their summers together, if those smiles and laughs and tears that they shared meant anything to him. He thinks about how in the end, it wasn't enough for Chase.

I think Chase might be a ghost in this, but he's more of a reflection of what was left here, not Chase himself.

[jamespotterthefirst]

Your Biggest Fan 2/?

(AU: Ethan x F!MC)   Chapter 2: Stories

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Word count: 1K Warning: Language Series: Your Biggest Fan Series Premise: When he is forced to promote his new book on social media, an insolent stranger points out a mistake in his research.   Chapter Premise: After an abrupt end to their social media interaction, Lilac catches his attention again. 

Author’s Note: Surprise! I guess this is a series now? The “chapters” will be on the short side and hopefully updated once to twice a week? We’ll see how this goes. Thank you to everyone for your kindness with the first “chapter”!

It had been two whole weeks since Dr. Ramsey, her medical inspiration, interacted with her on social media. Two whole weeks after the inexplicable rush of dopamine his irritable replies catalyzed (along with the most inhuman squeals Lilac had ever produced). Two weeks after he liked one of her pictures, inspiring the most detailed, wine-fueled analysis of social media courting practices anyone in their apartment had ever seen.

Now, Lilac physically fights back the urge to check her phone, hoping to see a belated response from the elusive doctor. She abstains with great difficulty, reminding herself she should be enjoying this rare afternoon of freedom at the beach.

“What picture did he like again?”

Jackie speaks without opening her eyes. In the glow of the mid-afternoon sun, limbs stretched over her beach towel, she looks the most relaxed Lilac has ever seen her. Not to mention, with her dark skin glowing in the light, she is easily the most beautiful person at Revere Beach.

“It was a really dumb and kind of embarrassing picture I took with my sister before I moved here. I posted it two years ago when I was homesick.”

There is a small, contemplative silence between all three and Lilac, thinking over her words, tenses. She is convinced the brief talk of her public pictures prompts them to think of the same thing: the mass purging of photos Lilac had to do not so long ago. Without fail, her pulse spikes up.

Then, Sienna hums from beside her, burrowing her toes in the sand.

“So he replies to your comment, stalks your page, likes a random picture of yours, and then… ghosts you?”

Lilac inwardly cringes at the term. Brandon Flanagan, fellow med student whom Lilac went out with a few times, ghosted her after she slept with him. Ethan Ramsey, world acclaimed diagnostician, protégé of the illustrious Naveen Banerji did not ghost her. If there was a better term for replying to cheeky criticism of your research before returning to your very busy life of changing the medical field and possibly the world—then that's what Dr. Ramsey did.

Still, she can't help the stab of disappointment piercing her.  

“We're reading too much into this,” Lilac responds, aiming to convince herself above anyone else. “He gets thousands of comments a day—”

“—Yeah, I saw. It's a total meat market there.”

“—so it makes more sense that I just got super lucky and happened to reply when he was online.”

“Or maybe it was his social media manager who replied in the first place,” Jackie offers with a shrug, continuing to bask in the sun.

“No, whoever replied took Lilac's correction too personally. It had to have been him.” Sienna rubs her chin with her thumb, a thoughtful gaze fixed in the sand. “Still doesn't explain the random like of your picture.”

To everyone's surprise, Jackie snorts with laughter. It evolves into something uncontrollable until she's shaking where she lays. Sienna gives Lilac a look bordering on alarm before Jackie sobers up enough to explain.

“What if it was a total accident? What if he got so pissed off and wanted to know more about this random chick questioning his research? He pulls up an old pic, accidentally double taps, and freaks out when he sees the like?”

“Then why wouldn't he quickly unlike it?” Sienna asks.

Jackie snorts again. “Because he didn't know how to?”

Lilac frowns, unconvinced. “No one is that ignorant about social media.”

This assessment is thoroughly proven wrong in a few hours when Lilac lies in her bed, the exhaustion of endless days and nights of study pressing into her bones. Her phone hovers over her nose, her fingers aimlessly scrolling through her feed. A notification from her sister draws her attention away from her friends' posts. All Laurel sent were fire emojis in response to a picture Lilac had posted of herself at the beach.

She had almost forgotten about it until now. After their speculation about Dr. Ramsey, Jackie and Sienna spent the rest of the afternoon convincing Lilac to post a "thirst trap." The intended target had been "that bastard" Brandon Flanagan. Even though Lilac didn't care as much about revenge as her friends did, she was still curious if her old flame had seen the photo.

Without further ado, Lilac opens the views on the picture, ready to cackle at the fact that Flanagan had seen it and men really were weak until her eyes land on a name below her sister's.

“Fuck,” she hisses after her phone drops on her face. 

Pulse hammering, she hops off her bed, already halfway to waking Jackie and Sienna. Then she remembers they have class early the next morning and that she values her life too much, so Lilac opens up their group chat instead. If anyone is still awake, they will reply on their own:

Feeling more conflicted than ever, Lilac stares at the notification. 

She could just ignore it and move on with her life, perhaps even delete her Pictagram account like she intended before this whole thing even started. Or maybe she could interpret this notification as an invitation to direct message him. What was the worst that could happen? He could never see the message (a highly likely scenario) and that would be the end of that.  

Before she could feel utterly pathetic and chicken out, she begins to type out a message.

Lilac exhales, ready to set her phone on her nightstand and finally go to sleep. She doesn’t even turn the screen off before the “seen” message appears below her message, followed by three bouncing dots, indicative of a response in progress.

If anyone were to ask her, she would rather die than admit the speed with which she is ready to reply, coupled with the almost painful grin that spreads across her face.

The typing dots appear.

Then disappear.

Seconds later, they appear again.

Only to vanish.

This continues for a good five minutes and Lilac can practically picture world renowned Ethan Ramsey typing a response and deleting it just as quickly, at a loss for what to say. At last, the dots disappear for good and Lilac sighs, turns off the screen, and places the phone on her bedside. Within seconds, she succumbs to sleep, completely unaware of the absolute internal crisis occurring in an office only miles away. 

Series Masterlist

Author’s note: Ethan did not know people could see when you view their story so he’s having a meltdown at getting CAUGHT being a horny bitch.  

Thank you to everyone who’s reading this. Sorry to end this here but I really wanted to write the next part from Ethan’s POV. The next chapter will be alternating POVs, if all goes as planned. 

Also, Jackie, Sienna, Elijah, and Landry are classmates. I was going to give her other friends to stay true to the canon fact that everyone went to different schools but I decided to just keep the friends she has in the original :)

*Tagging in a reblog*