#he's convinced that he brings bad luck and especially with the spider god....

[enough-spider-noir-stuff]

*slaps noir and hobie* this bad bitch can fit so many issues

[calxprince]

❀ LOVE, OR THE LACK THEREOF (2)

. . . a kabru x gender neutral reader story

# Chapter 2 : Stupidity is The Key to Happiness. You were Plenty Stupid— Just Not Happy

# genre : multiple parts. breakup angst. reader can't move on for the life of them.

# notes : click here for the masterlist

4370 words

. . . in which god has just currently decided that you're going to be his strongest soldier today and give you his toughest battles, and you can't do shit about it.

I mean, who else wouldn't freak out after finally seeing their ex again? Especially when you only find him and his party as corpses lying on the cold dungeon floor, lined up like meat in the produce section. All stiff and mildly damp.

FUCK, HE’S STILL SO HANDSOME—no, perhaps even more so now? You feel a bead of sweat form as you bite down on the inside of your cheek, staring at Kabru’s unconscious body sprawled on the cold, concrete floor. He was ominously peaceful, with his eyelids closed and his hair messed up as it pushed against the wall. It dragged your heart by its heartstrings, bringing in strange wave of nostalgia.

You recall the messy sheets, his cheek pressed up against your pillows— the curls in his hair handsomely framing his face.

It was as if a prince had just stumbled into your home and fallen into a deep slumber in your dingy bed.

A familiar warmth crept up on your cheeks, followed by a small smile you couldn’t hold back. However, you took a fist straight to the middle of your chest— leaving you winded as you tried to punch away the looming melancholy feeling creeping up.

You decide to look in a different direction and drive your attention away. If you could withstand not seeing him for years, you can surely do it again this time.

Your eyes scan the rest of the party, and you notice an unfamiliar figure among them. Your hands unwittingly clench down on your staff— the natural grooves of the wood digging into your skin, bound to leave a significant indent into the palms of your hands. The sensation rivaling the gruesome battle in your mind, grieving the person you were before finding out. The mere presence of the stranger left a bitter taste in your mouth, turning a switch in your mind as you fell into a dangerous spiral.

It's just like they say, fuck around and find out.

And you have, in fact— fucked around and found out.

It was like a jagged, serrated dagger twisting around in an old wound; like a thousand needles had just poked you like a bad acupuncture therapy attempt. Your mouth felt dry, and each muscle and bone felt like it held up the weight of the heavens and sky itself. You couldn’t move, you couldn’t even run no matter how much you yearned to do so.

You start to consider showing up at the door of the Touden siblings, begging the sister to exorcise the bad spirit that was probably haunting you— cursing you with horrible luck.

You had spent thousands of nights tangled in the sticky spider web of your fears and doubts. About 1826 nights, to be exact (Maybe? You’re not sure). The thoughts of the future had been eagerly gnawing at your sanity, flooding your worrying mind with questions like:

‘Is he thinking of me right now? Does he even think about me anymore?’

‘Is he living a happier life without me?’

‘Has he replaced me already?’

It was that last question.

That stupid question that haunted your mind at least 5 times a day.

You already knew what the answer would probably be. You were completely and utterly convinced that it would be a breeze to handle if you were to find out and that you had moved on. which was the biggest and most delusional lie you had ever told yourself. But you don’t like to dwell on that thought much.

Being stupid was probably one of the keys to happiness, and you were plenty stupid— just not happy.

But God, no amount of dread and nail-biting anxiety could ever prepare you for the actual answer. The painful reality that just slaps you in the face stabs you at least 30 times in each of your vital organs— and completely shatters every bit of your almost non-existent hope.

It’s quite a reach, especially when the girl is literally lying unconscious on the floor unable to even move a finger. But she might as well have killed you at this point just doing absolutely nothing, with the amount of pain she’s putting you through— purely just due to her existence.

It was as if Thor had just thrown his hammer at you, digging into your toes with little to no hope of escape. No amount of desperate tugging could set you free. Who the hell even is Thor? You question, you shrug it off.

‘Ways to Get Back with Kabru—Idea number 25: Run back and work as their mage again if they still have a vacant spot… I better cross that out later.’

Maybe most questions should be left unanswered, you should’ve turned back 15 minutes ago. You should’ve run back up to the surface and continued to live your life in ignorant bliss. The naïve past seemed much kinder than the truth of the future.

There was a hazy, strange sense of satisfaction that hung over your heart. However, the painful drilling sensation in your stomach seemed to drown it out— the rising feeling of dread and regret filling like a thick liquid in your lungs that you can’t cough out.

With deliberate steps, you approach the unknown body, lowering yourself to kneel beside the new individual. She was beautiful, as much as you hated to admit it. You quickly tugged at your hair, pushing it out of the way of your eyes. Maybe to see better, maybe out of pure insecurity.

Your lips press into a thin line. She had slick, luscious black hair— you even start to consider asking her for her hair care routine after (which was stupid of you to think, so you flick that thought to the back of your mind.) Her sleek figure was complimented by her simple medium-length frayed red dress. Her facial structure made you guess that she came from the east, and her lack of other special features— she’s also a tall man.

You pout, squeezing your eyes tight as you feel the tight rope of jealousy tugging at your neck. Maybe, it would’ve been much easier to skim over the existence of your replacement if she hadn’t been so beautiful. Maybe if her face was full of warts, or maybe if she was a toad that you had picked up from the well in your house— the blow would’ve been less impactful.

Scratch that. The frogs that resided in the well were incredibly cute. But would Kabru know that she turned into a frog? You began to backtrack on that thought, fighting against the itch in your hand to start flipping through your grimoire to find a spell to turn people into frogs.

It had instructions on how to use a dog to harvest a singular mandrake, so why the hell wouldn’t it have a spell on turning people into frogs?

But then, you dwelled on the thought of the curse being able to be lifted by a kiss. The image of Kabru kissing a frog, in a complete fairytale-esque love story scene— it was enough for you to abandon the idea again.

He would be the type to do such a thing, even if he hated every minute of it.

He would probably even eat monsters out of pure righteousness and pushover people-pleaser politeness if someone asked him to—at least just a bite.

…

Maybe you should start putting those fairytale books down or donate them to the local village library, it would fix your problem of outrageous delusions.

So instead of planning your path to evil, you began wishing and praying to whatever god is currently listening to you— if there even is any.

‘Please, please, please. God, or… whoever is out there. I’d even accept it if the Mad Mage is the one tuning in. Please erase this girl from existence.’ You begged, but you felt a pang of guilt crash into your heart. You peek with one eye, staring at her peaceful face once again— You squeeze your eyes shut once more and re-clasped your hands together to reset your prayer. If that even works, it probably doesn’t…

‘Actually, disregard that… That was rude. Kind of. She probably doesn’t deserve it… Just please, don’t have any personal relationship with Kabru.’ You mutter under your breath, feeling a bit of the weight come off your shoulders. It was as if you had shooed away the annoying spirit haunting you with bad luck, or at least you had hoped you did.

Your hands pushed against your bent knees, assisting you as you stood back up. Which drives you into yet another dilemma. With the amount of writing and overthinking you had just done, you had completely forgotten that they were all lying dead on the floor.

You sulk by the wall, feeling the rocky surface leaving indents on your forehead. You curse at the wind. You were not God’s strongest soldier; he should not be giving you the toughest battles. You sigh, whittling down your options into 3.

You walk away from this place and run back to the surface. Possibly seek therapy and hit your head just enough times to forget whatever you had just discovered in this dungeon. Quit dungeon exploring to completely cut off all possibilities of ever encountering Kabru and his party ever again. Get a normal job and live your life in ignorant bliss.

2. You continue onwards but be sure to bless their corpses to ensure their safety until they get retrieved by the corpse revival company— or possibly scammed by that other resurrection company. Or maybe even saved by some other random guy somewhere, who knows? Leave strands of your hair around their wrists and spray your signature scent around them; fully aware that Kuro could sniff you out in mere seconds (which was the plan.) It leaves them knowing you were there but gives them the edge that you didn’t bother to help them, even though they know that you’re fully capable of doing so.

3. Be an idiot, who out of goodwill and righteousness— revives the party and allows you to make yourself known as the unfortunate victim and hero who had stumbled across them. This gives room to analyze and dissect the relationship between the new girl and Kabru, and even a chance to converse and interact with your old party. This may urge Kabru to be aware of your existence if he has already forgotten (you hope not). Make him bow down on his knees, head touching the floor as he begs you to join him and his party again.

And of course, you chose to be an idiot.

You had already made so many bad decisions for fate to put you in this position, so why don’t you push it to its limits? Plus, you had already been doing this whole revival business to earn gold by farming corpses of fallen adventurers within the higher levels. You don’t scam them at least.

You need to think this over first. You can’t revive everyone at once, even if you wish you did at this moment. You tuck your chin in between your index finger and thumb, carefully planning out how you can carry this out with a high success rate and a low rate of embarrassing yourself in front of your ex.

You couldn’t possibly revive Kabru first, since you’d have to swallow down the thick tension that forms in the air while he stares at you reviving the rest of his party. It would leave too much room for conversation (if there was any), and too little room for your swift escape. So, he’s reserved for last place for now.

The new girl… You should sandwich her in the middle. It’s best to revive someone you know first, so they don’t end up freaking out at your random appearance. But you can’t squeeze her right before Kabru, it’ll probably spawn some weird first impressions between the two of you. You’ll put someone else in between him and her, so she can just get the gist that you were just trying to help.

Holm should be first. He’s the calmer one of the party and is a lot closer to you than the rest of the party. It would be a bit weird seeing an old friend that suddenly ran out of your life and having them be the first thing you see after waking up… You have to clear that up with him if Kabru hadn’t already told him about what happened between the two of you. He would also probably help you with reviving, which will help you cut down on the time.

Mickbell will be revived right after, giving you a chance to calm him down before proceeding with the girl— who will probably ostracize you on the spot if he suddenly bursts into tears, or just makes a scene. Kuro… will be right after Mickbell, which will help you in the cause of calming him down.

Daya will be the unfortunate shield? Cushioning? Between Kabru and the girl. You were somewhat close to her, so she would probably understand your cause right away. She’s an innocent soul.

‘If he asks… I’ll just say I do it as a form of work.’ You whisper, kneeling towards Holm. You analyze his body, keeping a sharp eye out for any major injuries. You pick up his arm gently, holding it up in the air before letting it go— It falls limp.

‘He’s out cold…’ Your eyebrows furrow, making eager work of brushing off any bit of dust or debris off him. None of them seemed to have any weak soul bonds or missing limbs.

Your hand meets his chest, lying directly on top of his heart as you begin your ritual. You feel your mana coursing through your veins, like a cold shot of flowing water. Your fingertips felt a gentle tingle, like pins pricking them— enough to poke through the skin but not enough to draw blood.

Warmth spread through his body, feeling your heartbeat synch with his as it began to beat at a steady pace. Holm’s body staggers, as blood rushes through— his muscles moving on their own, just from pure muscle memory. As you felt his body heat return to normal healthy temperatures, your fingers eagerly swiped against his forehead. Your index finger is digging and pressing into the skin between his two eyebrows.

He woke up with a start, eyes wide and chest heaving. If he wasn’t already freaked out by his sudden consciousness, he was even more freaked out by your appearance. His jaw drops, gaze wavering as he looks at you as if you had just come back from the dead (even if he was the one that just did.)

You stare back at him, oblivious and aloof of the internal battles he is currently fighting in his mind. His mouth sputters, eager to voice out his mind— however, it lacks the voice, and the proper mind and muscle articulation.

“Are you okay?” you question, your tone drawn out and unsure. Your mind was currently reeling, as you slowly began to be filled with regret. Would he mind if you just ran away right now? You’re hesitant to engage in conversation with him, fully convinced that he is seconds away from lashing out at you.

”Y/N ? ? “ He shouted, his voice echoing around the entirety of the hollow dungeon floor. He slaps a hand over his mouth, coughing as he regains his composure. A feint pink dusted over his cheeks, embarrassed by his sudden outburst. You flinch slightly, squeezing your eyes for a second so you could brace yourself for whatever he was about to say.

Holm backtracks for a moment, leaning in towards you in a state of curiosity.

“Y/N .. ?” He whispered, questioning your existence. His voice filled with disbelief and wonder, secretly pinching himself as he pondered if this was a dream or not.

“It’s me.” You smile, a sense of warm familiarity filling your heart as you stare back at him. A quick rush of joy and excitement drowning out your worries, as you meet up with your old friend. You spread your arms out slightly, and he takes the opportunity to capture you in a tight embrace. It finally brought back that sense of belongingness as you reconnect together as friends, one that you had forgotten the feeling of.

You have grown accustomed to the fast pace of your life, meeting and seeing faces but never finding them again. Your fear of attachment only grew as a sense of loneliness was chained to your foot like a weight of punishment. You pass by thousands of faces, thousands of people who carry their heavy burdens and stories— Yet, you still live life alone.

“I thought I’d never see you again” He sighed, patting your back as he pulled away. You could read him like an open book, he was a simple person. You could feel a sudden rush of relief flow through him, as his worrying mind cleared within seconds. However, your sudden gleeful moment was interrupted when he suddenly punched you straight in the gut.

“Ack— !” He’s not much of a fighter, so it was weak— since he was mostly kidding. But he did go for a sensitive area, so you hunch over in pain.

“You’re such a dummy you know. You left without a word, and I haven’t seen you in five years. Five years! That’s half a decade!” He grumbled, judgmental as always. You rub the area he punched to soothe the pain, as you laugh dryly. However, his expression softens at the sight of you.

“I know… Hasn’t Kabru told you why?” You tilt your head, fixing up your posture. At this point, you’re on a self-sabotage spree. You should’ve probably kept that question unsaid, knowing that you’re just leading yourself into a whole new world of hurt by finding answers to questions that should be left unanswered.

“No… He only showed us your resignation paper, then never spoke of you ever again.” Holm pouted, rubbing down the back of his neck.

He never told them.

He never spoke of you again.

You were seconds away from curling up, falling to the floor, and dying right then and there. You had to hold back every cell in your body from begging Holm to bring out his undine and put you out of your sad, sad misery.

Your expression remained blank; your lips pursed as you tried to keep yourself from spiraling again. You practice a couple of breathing exercises, digging the nails of your fingers into the palm of your hand. It’s possibly not too late to turn back, Holm could probably handle all the resurrecting.

“Right… How did the rest of the party take it?” Your voice is drawn out, deciding to rip off yet another bandage off the wound. If the party didn’t react nicely to the news, you’d probably get chewed out immediately— just to confirm whether or not you should continue with your plan or run away.

“… Not that well. We basically stopped adventuring for a week straight, since Kabru completely locked himself up ever since then. We all kind of freaked out a bit, though— Kabru seemed to have sucked it up and gathered all of us up again to go mage hunting to complete our party. Mickbell was against replacing you and was somewhat insistent on dragging you back. But Kabru stopped him, he wasn’t mad per se— Just scary looking.”

Okay, you need to stop asking questions that could lead back to Kabru— noted.

“Anyways, what happened to you guys?” You changed the topic, gaze averting towards the huge body of water in the middle of the dungeon. You had noticed that their clothes were slightly damp, but you didn’t necessarily question it.

”As far as I remember, we got attacked by a bunch of violent mermen. Which is weird, given that it isn’t common for them to be near the surface of the water… It’s usually just bladefish.” He mumbled, deep in thought as he stared at the eerily now calm waters.

“Right… Would you be okay with helping me revive everyone? You can take..., the new girl and Kuro. I’ll take on Mickbell, Daya, and… Kabru.” You stared at him with pleading eyes, offering to take on the odd number of corpses— Just so you don’t drain him of his mana too fast since he had just recently come back to life.

“Oh… The new girl. Her name is Rin by the way, she’s a bit blunt and standoffish when it comes to new people. So don’t feel too offended when she criticizes you…” Holm smiles sheepishly, though agreeing to take on your offer. You spring up into a stand immediately, offering a hand towards him— which he eagerly accepts.

You both make your way to your respective assigned corpses— Though the speed at which you both were doing it made you feel more and more dread as time passed. Your mind was blurring together the current happenings, not truly processing the moment.

Mickbell wasted no time in shouting, punching your legs as if any form of violence would undo your long period of absence. You didn’t take any significant notes on what he said, as his actions only translated into an irritated cat that was begging for more food.

However, you ran your fingers through his hair— which ultimately silenced his aggressive yammering. You pat his head gently, just like you always would back then. His expression mellowed out, hugging your leg as he cursed your name in the wind. He doesn’t like being treated like a kid, but he lets you just this once.

He lets go of you (reluctantly), after realizing that everyone else was knocked unconscious. He stands off to the side, stretching out his limbs and doing a quick inventory check— just to steer clear out of your way.

Rin had been revived shortly after Mickbell was, which rendered her completely and utterly confused at your foreign appearance. As well as Mickbell’s sudden affectionate behavior and outburst. She stares back at Holm, slightly bewildered at the sight— the look on her face begging him for any sort of explanation.

Holm only explains your presence briefly, mentioning your closeness and familiar bond with the party. He doesn’t bother explaining your relationship with Kabru, saving you from any sort of random rivalry with her. Rin only hums in response, the gears in her mind turning as she analyzes you from afar.

She played with her hair, twirling it around as she stared. Completely oblivious of your brain-shattering nervousness as you realized she was awake.

You felt the need to flex or one-up her. You wanted to show her your sheer amount of power and give her an excellent first impression.

Was it to impress her? Was it to make her feel envy and Jealousy? You don’t know, probably both.

You’re still not sure about making her a friend or an enemy. So you decide to lean more into the friend category.

However, all thoughts of her quickly dissipated as your gaze met Kabru’s body on the floor. You tense up, realizing that there’s unfortunately no more escape from your demise. You try to cough up the thick sense of nervousness from your throat, as an insatiable itch begins to dance all over the inside of your body.

There was a sick sense of familiarity as you kneeled and placed a hesitant hand onto his chest. You felt a wave of nausea override all of your rational thoughts, as the palm of your hand seemed to fit that one area of his chest like a puzzle piece. Your expression turns soft, while your body stiffens, and you find it difficult to move. It left a sickly bitter taste in your mouth.

Being close to him like this, didn’t fill your heart with the same glee as you had fantasized. Instead, seeing him again made you feel immense amounts of dread— a seething anger igniting a long rope tied to a bomb of anger. As much as you had idolized him throughout the years, finally seeing him again made the coin flip over on the dirty side.

The reality settled in like getting hit by a car, the adrenaline carrying through before you crash. His face only made you feel pure unbridled rage, how dare he live his life and fall into a slumber as peaceful as this— when you spent thousands of sleepless nights all because of him.

You had never wished for a viler amount of karma towards anyone until now.

Your hand pushed down with more force than necessary, forcing out the mana flow as you healed him with pure negative thoughts buzzing around in your head. You felt yourself seeing red, as you felt his heart begin to beat to a steady rhythm.

That same soft and slow beat that would lull you to sleep each night. Once you had even promised him that there was no other music that even the greatest musician could compose— would compare to the sound of his beating heart.

You bite your tongue back from cursing his name out, taking a deep breath to brush off the suddenly blinding anger. ‘I need to give off a good impression.’ You mumble, relaxing your muscles and the scowl on your face.

Your hands hesitate to meet with his forehead, your touch fleeting as you push against the pressure point in his forehead. Your fingertips lightly intercepted with his hair— which made you confused on whether you wanted to run your fingers through it again or bash his face into the ground. Maybe both.

Your hand quickly leaves his face, eyes unwavering of its stare.

Usually, you would kiss his forehead instead of using the pressure point method. You blink away the unwarranted memory, watching as he stirs awake. You remain seated by his side, making sure to be there if ever he has any side effects that would come with his resurrection.

Kabru groans, rubbing his eyes away from sleep. However, he seemed to have woken up immediately as he recognized your scent. His eyes shot open, as his head snapped to turn towards you— which did not fail to scare you. As you suddenly lean backwards, completely flabbergasted by his current expression.

Kabru mumbles your name under his breath.

Oh fuck.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Secrets 5

Harry Potter Marauders Era post Hogwarts

Link to Part 4 

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: T

______

The next morning you awoke before Regulus. You had healed most of his injuries the night before and figured letting him sleep was the best thing for him at the moment. Slipping out of bed, you went downstairs, where judging by the sound of it, Remus was back. You immediately smiled. “Best friend time” was definitely what you needed.

Remus was on his feet the moment that you came in.

“I was wondering where you were.”

You said, throwing your arms around his shoulders. Remus smiled, hugging you back. When he backed away, you couldn’t help but groan at the healing scars on his face and hands.

“I swear, I should have been a healer. Sit down while I make you something to make you feel better.”

Remus sat down, knowing better than to argue.

“You just woke up. Wouldn't you rather have some tea first?”

You shook your head.

“Nope, I’m going to take care of you. Figure out what injuries Regulus still has and play doctor with him than practice for the new ballet I have to do.”

Remus’ face went white. That was the last thing that he wanted to hear. After the eventful night in the bar, Remus was convinced that the younger Black brother was out for his blood. Any time that the two men saw each other in public, Regulus seemed to have a new death glare reserved just for him.

“Regulus?! He’s here? Since when?”

“Yeah, it's a real kick in the balls isn’t it?”

Remus, Sirius, and James all turned as Regulus stepped into the room. James gave Sirius a smirk. The quicker James got Regulus' attention away from his crazed vendetta of hating Remus the better things would be.

“Well, you didn’t perish in the night. I knew my sister can fix people well.”

Regulus’ eyes flickered in James’ direction but went right back to Remus who was glaring at him just as coldly. Remus turned back to you in hopes of some kind of answer. When he left for his last mission, you were dead set on never forgiving Regulus. In fact, if you hexed Regulus, Remus would not have been surprised.

Now here was Regulus Black, looking like hell, in James’ kitchen and you were acting as if nothing was new.

“Y/n?”

Remus questioned again. You finally looked up.

“Remus, he and I are back together now.”

Remus blinked as Regulus sat down with a shit-eating grin on his face. As much as Remus shouldn’t have been surprised by you taking Regulus back; he was.

This is going to be bad…

Remus thought as you walked over and held out a small vile to him.

“Try this one.”

Remus sighed and downed the bottle without making a face. He had tasted a lot worse in all of his days on the planet. Whatever it was that you gave him was nothing new.

“Remus, he makes me happy.”

You softly commenced. Remus couldn’t help but scowl.

“I’m sorry but can you and I talk...in there...without him?”

“Just a second. I have to take care of him too.”

You felt bad for dismissing Remus especially when he was within moments of having a nervous breakdown but he didn’t see the shape that Regulus was in the night before. He didn’t see how broken and battered Regulus was. If he had then maybe Remus would understand.

Regulus, meanwhile, was grinning at Remus when you dismissed his request. He didn’t know why he was still so pissy with Remus. Regulus knew that Remus really hadn’t done anything. The poor guy was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time and now Regulus wanted to unleash unholy hell on him. Jealous...that was the best the Regulus could come up with. He was jealous and not afraid to admit it. Remus had been your best friend since childhood. Remus was the one that you went running to when something unconvinced you. Given the nature of the secret relationship between Regulus and yourself, you weren’t able to come to him with your problems. If Regulus turned up to beat the cream cheese out of that other Slytherin boy that gave you such grief, there would have been questions. Those were questions that Regulus couldn’t answer at the time. Remus and the rest of his friends “setting the other boy straight” wasn’t anything less than expected. What if you still chose Remus over him as the one to help solve your problems? Was Regulus just supposed to sit back and watch? That wouldn’t happen…Regulus would see to that.

“Reggie.”

You said his name gently enough to pull Regulus from his thoughts. Grey eyes rolled up to you as you reached out to touch his face. Regulus winced when your fingers traced over a few hidden bruises were.

“Does this still hurt?”

Regulus shook his head as you moved your hand to stroke his hair. He wasn’t about to say, yes...you poking my face hurts in front of Sirius, James, and Remus. Regulus would let his arm fall off before he admitted to being in pain in front of the others.

“You’re so difficult.”

You hummed, as Regulus closed his eyes. Whether he would admit to it or not, the moment that you started messing with his hair the boy turned to mush in your hands. He would probably do whatever you wanted.

“You look pretty.”

Regulus said with a smirk when James rolled his eyes.

“I don’t want to watch.”

James whined. Regulus turned his attention to James before pulling you on his lap.

“Then close your eyes.”

Remus, meanwhile, was still off in his own world taking in everything about Regulus and yourself being a couple again. While Remus saw you as only his best friend, he still would have preferred to have been the one with you over Regulus Black. The whole idea seemed like a disaster in the making. Regulus had broken your heart once. What would stop him from doing it again? A better question was what if his mother or father came back into the picture? Surely, they wouldn’t let their child prodigy go off and marry James Potter’s younger sister. Something seemed very “off” about that picture.

Why wouldn’t Y/n want him was the bigger question Remus. Regulus was good looking and rich. Both of those were good qualities to have in a lover. Remus didn’t consider Regulus anymore clever than he considered his own self. Maybe it was the fact that he had been the Slytherin seeker and had those “dangerous” eyes? Whatever it was Remus didn’t see it and it would be bugging him for a long time!

“Remus, do you still want to talk to me?”

Your voice pulled Remus from his thoughts. Remus was on his feet and walking out of the room before he realized what he was doing. He couldn’t help rolling his eyes when he heard you tell Regulus “I’ll be right back, love.”

It took you two or three seconds to catch up with Remus. He had gone outside on the front stoop and was looking down the quiet street. One look at your best friend told you that he was annoyed. You knew that you should have been surprised either. It was, after all, Remus that pretty much pieced you back together after the breakup. He was the gentle one that told you that everything would be okay when Regulus was out doing god knows what with God knows whom.

“I don’t get it, Y/n. What made you take him back? You were so devastated.”

You nodded, trying to remain calm.

“Yes, I was devastated because I love him.”

“He changed you.”

Remus snapped. Had it been another day, any day but today, Remus would have been a lot more patient. It was too close to the moon and his patience was wearing thin for everyone, not just yourself.

“Remus, I haven’t changed.”

Remus crossed his arms over his chest.

“Well, since you started dating Regulus, you’ve lied to us. Hid a pregnancy that he didn’t want...none of that is Y/n Potter’s normal actions.”

Remus knew what he said was cold. He had made a self promise that he wouldn’t bring up the miscarriage as it was an obvious source of pain.

“Y/n, I’m sorry…”

You shook your head.

“I didn’t tell you or James or Sirius anything because none of you asked me. I never lied. No one ever asked me if I was seeing anyone because apparently, I am too pathetic to ever gain a boyfriend. Why would someone want to date Y/n Potter? She is nothing but a nerdy bookworm that is too pathetic to ever land a boyfriend. There! Does that sum things up for you?”

Remus sighed.

“That isn’t what I said. You were more than capable of landing a boyfriend. I just wasn’t good enough for you…”

You fought back the painful memories of the day when you had a crush on the man in front of you. Remus never reciprocated your feelings and that’s what made the whole thing painful!

“You didn’t even give us a chance.”

(meanwhile)

“Wonder what they are talking about?”

James questioned, as he watched both Remus and yourself throwing your arms at each other. Both of you were clearly frustrated and James couldn't tell who was winning.

“My guess is him.”

Sirius commented, pointing at his brother. Regulus was watching the conversation that you were having with clear interest.

“If you two would shut up then maybe we could hear and of course, they are talking about me.”

Regulus hissed. Sirius went back down the newspaper that he was reading before throwing it down.

“Oh, gross a spider.”

Regulus reached over and smashed the spider leaving his brother and James looking after him. Both had expressions of disgust on their faces.

“Thanks, Reg. Just what I wanted to do...read over spider guts.”

Sirius snapped as Regulus wiped his hand on his brother’s arm. James had gone back to trying to figure out what was going on.

“Would you two stop bitching? I can’t hear.”

Before Sirius could make a comment about how he didn’t ask for Regulus to smash the spider, you came back inside looking even more annoyed. You didn’t come back into the kitchen but stormed up the stairs and slammed your bedroom door.

James winced as he went to make a new cup of tea.

“Good luck, Regulus. Go find out what happened.”

______ @amelie-black

@realgaytrash

@truly-insatiable

@brokencasbutt67-writer

@authoressskr

@fandom-trash-worth-it

@hankypranky

@summer-novak

@shaylybaby2032

@emiwrites3reads

@li0nh34rt

@tas898

@marichromatic

@maggioli-m

@stuckinsaudi1

@knight-of-gleefulness

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts

@untoldshortsofthefandoms

@sprnaturallover

@shitfaceddaniel

@wontlookaway

@mycuddlycorner

@spiderxalmighty

[queenofmoons]

For Blue, Blue Skies

Read it Here on AO3

Mathematically, one of two things should have happened when Peter and Harry became friends. The first solution was that Peter’s negative social status would bring Harry down. The second solution was that Harry’s overwhelming social prowess would make Peter popular enough that Flash Thompson would invite him to a party.

It actually ended up equalling zero.

Flash had stopped bothering him. At least, he waited until Peter was a few steps ahead of him before telling Liz how much Peter Parker could suck it. That was something Peter could handle.

Peter was invited out because Harry was going out.

“Come get drinks with us,” he would say as he stood in the mirror tying his tie. He’d watch Peter in the reflection as he flipped through the radio channels pretending to be busy. He was waiting for Harry to leave so he could slip out the window and into the night. “I convinced Gwen to come.”

For the first time, Peter had something resembling a friend group, even if the only people he could consider himself close to were Harry, Gwen, and MJ. On the occasional Friday night he found himself out instead of swinging around. He went to parties, he flirted, he fell in love. Peter actually got to be Peter instead of being Spider-Man, and it felt amazing.

The first time Gwen leaned into him, cheeks flush from the alcohol, and whispered into Peter’s ear that she hoped they could do this again, he forgot Betty Brant’s name altogether.

Peter wasn’t an outcast looking over his shoulder anymore. He also wasn’t too popular for his “job.” Harry’s friendship had helped develop a happy balance between social life and vigilantism.

Social indifference wasn’t the only benefit to Harry’s friendship. Having a place to live was decently nice, especially since he was letting Peter stay in his apartment for free. There was also the fact that Harry’s father was Norman Osborn, owner and CEO of the largest tech company on the east coast.

“Take the job.” Harry urged for the umpteenth time. “You’re a hard worker. It’s a job you’ll be able to get on your own eventually. It’s not cheating to get a head start.”

That’s exactly what cheating was. That didn’t make the offer any less appealing.

“It doesn’t feel right, Har,” Peter said because his suit felt hot under his clothes. Harry didn’t know just how well Peter actually knew his father. Thankfully, Norman hadn't shown any sign of remembering his stint as the Green Goblin. That meant that he didn't remember Peter being Spider-Man, but Peter was sure that luck would run out eventually. If a hit to the head could make him forget, what said a harder hit to the head wouldn't make him remember? It was also because… “I don’t want to get a job just because I’m your friend.”

“Fine.” Harry kicked his shoes off as he pushed into the apartment. “How about this? You interview with my dad, just like anyone else, and you see how it goes?”

Peter hesitated. He was going to be out of college soon enough, and a leg up would be nice, especially considering the fact that he'd had a hard time in class due to his "job." Besides, if Norman was going to remember him, not taking the job wouldn't change that.

“No guarantees?” The corner of Peter’s lip twitched.

Harry held out a fist. “No guarantees.”

Peter got the job. When he approached Harry about this, straddling the line between ungrateful and triumphant, Harry had simply shrugged and slid the bowl of cereal he had poured across the table to Peter. “I guess this calls for celebration, then. You were qualified. I’m proud of you, man. When you start making bank I’m gonna start charging you rent.”

Peter smiled and ate a bite of cereal.

Harry’s friendship didn’t come without its downfalls. It was something Peter picked up on slowly. Piece by piece. After the night at the theater, after their fight. After Harry had tried to kick Peter out.

Harry had more pills in his medicine cabinet than a pharmacist had at work. Quite a few of them weren’t legal. Even more were, which was more concerning.

Spider-Man could fight off villains (and he did his fair share of that), but Peter couldn’t approach Harry without getting trod on.

More than once broaching the subject led to an argument. It was always the drugs-- and MJ, sometimes, but most of those arguments were had when Harry wasn’t in his right mind. Peter felt, sometimes, like he was trying to hold onto a fraying thread. Being Harry’s friend sometimes felt like a full-time job, and that wasn’t something Peter could handle on top of work, school, and babysitting the city.

He talked to everyone he could think to-- MJ, Gwen, even Norman, but it didn’t do anything. The night Norman Osborn died, Harry was on bed rest and still suffering from a bad trip. For the past few days, the apartment had been quiet and eerie, but not nearly as unsettling as walking into the Osborn mansion and finding a discombobulated Harry. If Norman had let him see him, Peter might have been able to understand. He may have been given a chance to see his best friend as himself one last time. Instead, Peter saw him confused and lost, looking for someone to help him understand. Instead of helping, Peter continued his search for revenge.

When Norman Osborn died it didn’t take long for the papers to start blaming Spider-Man. For once, J. Jonah Jameson wasn’t publishing lies, just not the full truth, and the fact made Peter a little sick to his stomach.

After the glider had impaled him, Peter took the time to remove Norman's Green Goblin costume to ensure anonymity.

He did it to assuage his own guiltlessness.

Spider-Man doesn’t kill. Until he did, that is, and Peter was disgusted by how unashamed it made him feel. He had just killed someone-- he had just killed his best friend’s father and he felt nothing as he shifted the body back into position and prepared to leave with the mask and costume.

Even the thought of an avenged Gwen didn’t fill him with relief.

Peter returned home to find MJ outside their apartment. He took his confusion out on her.

They'd gotten medical clearance for Harry to attend Norman's funeral. Standing in line, Harry still looked gaunt and shaky. Peter watched him carefully. His Spider senses were tingling, but he couldn't figure out why, so he forced himself to chalk it up to MJ pointedly avoiding his gaze.

When the funeral ended, Peter put an arm out for a hug. Harry fell into him, his head buried in Peter's shoulder, his arm tight around his neck. Peter held them both upright as Harry shuddered. For the first time, Peter felt the stirrings of guilt.

"C'mon," he murmured into his friend's ear, "Let's head home."

After returning to the apartment, though, they simply sat in a simmering silence that Peter didn’t know what to do with.

“I hate him,” Harry said. There were tears streaming down his cheeks. Peter looked up, confused. “Spider-Man. I hate him.” Peter’s lips formed an ‘O.’

“They don’t know for a fact that it was him,” he tried carefully.

“God, not you too.” His hand clenched into a white-knuckled fist. “If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck--”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Peter looked down at his lap.

“Everyone is out there defending him and saying what a hero he is--”

“I just meant--”

“You’re supposed to be on my side, Peter.”

“I am on your side,” Peter shot back. “Everyone is on your side, Harry. All any of us have wanted to do is help you.” He cleared his throat. When he spoke again, his voice was lower. “I know how you feel.” He chose to ignore the glare Harry aimed at him. “When my uncle died all I wanted to do was find the guy who killed him and… But that’s not the way, Har. You’ll get so obsessed with revenge that you’ll lose track of everything else.”

“That’s not the same thing.” Harry’s tone made Peter flinch. “The man who killed your uncle got arrested. I know who killed my dad, and no one is going to do anything about it but me.”

“People are investigating--”

“He killed Gwen, too. Are you just going to forget that?”

Peter’s heart jumped. He could tell by the look Harry was giving him that the line was meant to hurt him. He was supposed to rise to the bait. Instead he answered calmly, “of course I’m not.” and stood. “I should probably--”

"Wait, Peter." Harry reached out and grabbed Peter's wrist. "I’m sorry. Pl-please don't go."

Peter looked down at where they were connected. He swallowed, then met Harry's gaze. His eyes were wide and wild, and Peter suddenly thought about any medicine they'd missed when he, Gwen and MJ had swept the apartment. He thought about Harry, high, pleading, "please don't go. How will I know that you were really here, Peter?"

he said finally, "I'm just going to grab some water… I'll get you one, too."

MJ had silently forgiven Peter for the night Gwen died. She arrived at his apartment with two cups of coffee and a serious expression on her face. That was the day he broke down and told her. She'd taken it better than he expected (what was the proper way to respond when you found out that your ex's best friend is Spider-Man?), But she hadn't judged him or shied away.

“Gwen,” she said, “You didn’t…”

Peter shook his head. “She fell from the bridge. I tried to catch her. I don’t know what killed her, if it was the fall, if it was the webbing-- I don’t. I don’t know.”

“And Goblin was…”

“Harry’s father, yeah.”

“Jesus,” she breathed. “Peter, I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah,” he murmured. He ducked his head and stared at the top of the kitchen table. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save her.”

MJ put a hand on his. “I don’t blame you.” A pause. “But you gotta move on, Peter. Don’t let this eat you up.”

Coffee dates became something of a weekly event.

“You can’t save everyone,” MJ reminded him gently. They were sitting on a rooftop, staring out over the city. He could tell it bothered her too. Harry was her friend just as much as his. “He’s sick.”

She’d said this before the declaration. Before Harry-but-not-Harry had looked Peter in the eye and sworn to kill Spider-Man. Before he hadn’t heard from Harry in two weeks.

Peter took a long swig of his coffee. He was in his suit, but his mask was off. Sweat clung to his forehead and his muscles were sore, but this break made him restless. It was one of the first times he'd been out since Norman Osborn's death had been publicized and he'd forgotten how much he missed the freedom, the weightlessness.

“I can try,” he said. He felt guilty as soon as he said it. He tried again, “I can try to save him, at least.”

MJ sighed. “I’m not going to try to stop you,” she told him, which he knew meant do your best.

Trying his best started by talking to him as a friend. Harry, pulled up into himself, eyes glinting with something that wasn’t quite human, looking past Peter. It’s the drugs, Peter reminded himself, but it didn’t make him feel better.

It had taken Peter a while to find him. He was holed up in his father’s old house-- a place Peter hadn’t been welcome since Norman kicked him out when Harry had overdosed.

“I know a doctor,” Peter told him. “We can get you help.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Harry argued, and Peter sighed. He thought about the first time they’d had this conversation when Peter had tried to talk him out of taking so much medicine. That had been the first time Harry had warned him to mind his own business. “I’m fine.”

MJ had tried to talk to him, too. She was the only one who ever managed to get through to him, but he didn’t even budge this time.

“I’m not in the business of listening to women that aren’t dating me,” he said, and he didn’t apologize when MJ recoiled.

“It’s not him,” Peter reminded her, quiet, but he wasn’t sure anymore. He turned his attention back to the friend they were trying to help. “Why don’t you come home? This is a big place to be in all alone.”

“I’ve been using my father’s research,” Harry said, “It’s too much to bring home.”

“His research?” Peter leaned forward in his seat. “What for?”

Harry looked up with only his eyes and said simply, “I’m going to kill Spider-Man.”

When Peter saw the Green Goblin again, he didn’t have any doubts about who it was. The fight was harder than he’d expected it to be. He was disappointed.

He’d expected Harry to be better.

When Harry died, it was the silence that tore Peter apart. When his hand went slack in Peter’s, it wasn’t grief that struck Peter first. It was relief, and then guilt, and then crippling loneliness.

The ambulance sped up. EMTs swarmed. Peter realized it didn’t matter. Harry died gripping Peter’s hand. Silent. When the ambulance pulled up to the hospital, Peter swung away without looking back.

He recounted the battle to MJ on the front porch steps of the funeral home. His forehead was in his hand. His voice was steely.

This wasn’t the first time Spider-Man had failed to save someone. He’d gotten used to that. Being a hero meant losing people. It meant trying, and failing, and trying a little bit harder. This feeling was different. More Personal. It was akin to watching Uncle Ben die. Except, no one could blame Spider-Man for this, not even Peter.

For the first time in his life, Peter had failed to save someone.

“That’s not true, you know.” MJ frowned at Peter when he finished explaining this. “You did save him.”

Peter scoffed.

“I’m serious,” MJ said. She looked guilty. Peter hadn’t noticed that before.

"He asked me for help," Peter said. "The night Gwen died."

"Peter, you can't--"

"He begged me for help, MJ. And you know what I did?" Peter laughed, harsh, but tears welled up in his eyes. "I ignored him, and I went out, and I killed his dad."

MJ didn't respond. Her head was bowed, face cased in shadow. She was crying, sniffling quietly into the night.

“This might not have happened,” Peter said. His jaw was set. His eyes were misty. Part of him was tempted to reach out and comfort MJ by putting a hand on her shoulder, but it didn’t feel right. He kept his hands to himself. “If I had stayed.”

“Or it might have.” MJ wiped her nose with the back of her sleeve. “What difference does it make? You can’t change the past, you can only live with what you’ve done.”

“What if I can’t?” Peter’s voice was hoarse.

“I don’t think you really have a choice.” MJ looked at him. She reached out and took his hand. Gentle. “I think about that night outside the theater all the time. And the next day. I was awful to him. I can’t take that back.”

Peter slumped and rested his head against the side of hers. People were starting to file out of the funeral parlor: classmates, family, press. Peter hadn’t realized how alone they’d been until they were suddenly in the middle of a crowd.

“You were able to give him peace, you know,” MJ said, just loud enough for Peter to hear. “Before he died. Forgiveness. Not everyone gets that.” She was rubbing her thumb against the back of his hand. “Sometimes saving people doesn’t mean punching their enemies.”

Peter closed his eyes. He hummed, something of agreement, or acknowledgment, or exhaustion.

"I said some pretty horrible things to you that night, too," he said. His voice was hoarse. "I never apologized for it."

"I know," MJ answered simply.

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

The parking lot emptied out. Once again, it was just MJ and Peter outside of the funeral home, still connected, still holding hands. MJ sighed, long and low, and Peter hummed again. For a moment, he could imagine he was in the back of the ambulance again comforting his best friend. Reconciling. He thought, again, about that being a form of saviorism. The thought made his chest tight, but not in a bad way. He hoped Harry was at peace.

[the-cookie-of-doom]

POSSESSION

n. 1. The state of having, owning, or controlling something.

Stiles climbed out onto the roof where Mitch was sitting, looking out at the stars. For the first time since Stiles had met him, he looked peaceful. He got the impression that peace wasn't something Mitch saw a lot of, in his line of work.

"You're supposed to be sleeping," Mitch told him, not turning around. Stiles shrugged even though he knew Mitch wouldn't see. At this point, he wasn't surprised that Mitch knew he was there, no matter how quiet he was being.

"Not tired yet."

"Try closing your eyes."

"In a few minutes." Stiles careful climbed down to sit beside Mitch, warily eyeing the edge. He'd never been particularly graceful, and if ever there was a time for him to fall and break his neck, with his luck it would be now. Casting a glance at Mitch, he saw that the exorcist didn't appear to care about the height. Of course he didn't; he'd seen much scarier things than a fifteen foot drop onto soft grass.

"This doesn't work if you don't go to sleep."

"I will, just…" Stiles chewed his bottom lip. He knew what the truth was, that he was afraid, but he didn't want to say that. Not to Mitch, who was never afraid of anything, never even surprised. "Just not yet."

"I don't like it when people waste my time, Stiles."

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm not trying to."

"Then stop lying to me." Mitch finally turned to face Stiles. His features were mostly cast in shadows, backlit by the light down the street. Not that it would make a difference; Stiles could never get a read on him. Mitch was closed off, better at hiding his emotions than anyone else Stiles had ever met. It made him feel at a disadvantage; Mitch never had any trouble reading him like an open book, even if they were strangers.

"I don't know what's going to happen after I go to sleep," Stiles said after a while, Mitch watching him in impassive silence, waiting.

"You're worried you'll hurt someone." The teen nodded, looking down. "I won't let you." Stiles laughed humorlessly, pulling his knees up to his chest. Mitch made it sound so simple, when it was anything but.

"Will you kill me?"

"Do you want me to?"

"It's rude to answer a question with a question."

"You're evading."

Stiles thought he might have seen the shadow of a smile out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn't be sure. Probably just a trick of the light, since Mitch had never actually smiled around him. He wondered what his smile looked like. He wondered if he would ever get to see it.

"I'm losing time. It started with just a few minutes here and there, and then hours at a time. Now it's full nights. And when I wake up, I'm dirty, but I have no idea where I've gone, and I think… I think I might be hurting people. No one believes me when I try to tell them, not even my dad." Stiles took a deep breath, hugging his legs tighter. He could feel Mitch's eyes on him, heavy and scrutinizing, simultaneously making him want to hide and bare everything. "I don't want to keep living like this. Even if I'm not the one killing people, there's still something wrong with me, and if even you don't know what it is, what hope do I have?"

"I don't know everything. If I can't help you, then someone else can."

"Or maybe no one can." Stiles rubbed harshly at his eyes when he felt them stinging, wetness spilling over. "I just—It feels like God must hate me, or something. It's like I'm cursed. Either I'm insane, or I'm possessed, or it's some as-yet-unheard-of problem, and I just—I can't deal with it. And if this is just some divine plan or whatever—" Mitch scoffed, cutting him off. Stiles' attention snapped up to him.

"God doesn't care about you. He's a kid with an ant-farm and a magnifying glass. Those unfortunate enough to make him want to take a closer look just get burned."

"How can you say that, knowing what you know?"

"I can say it because of what I know."

"Then why did you become an exorcist?" Mitch wasn't looking at him anymore, face tilted up towards the stars. After a minute passed, Stiles thought he wasn't going to answer. He was almost surprised when Mitch finally did.

"This is my penance for the life I took."

It was on the tip of Stiles' tongue to ask what that meant. Then Mitch took out a pack of cigarettes and held one to his lips. When he flicked his lighter to life, Stiles saw the gruesome scar running down his wrist, silvery-white in the light, and he knew there was undoubtedly a match to it on his other arm.

The flame died a second later, once again casting them in darkness with nothing but the stars and moon for light. Stiles felt like he'd briefly glimpsed a sliver of Mitch's soul.

Mitch didn't tell him to go inside again, letting Stiles stay out on the roof with him. Maybe because he knew what Stiles was going through; the constant self-doubt about what was real and what wasn't, the feeling that God had condemned him. The crushing loneliness. Maybe, just for tonight, Mitch had decided he didn't want to be alone anymore either, finding a kindred spirit in Stiles.

After Mitch put his lighter away, his body language changed. If not quite welcoming, it was at least open, leaning back on his arms with his long legs stretched out in front of him. Stiles hesitated, still bound up tight with the way he was sitting, but gradually he relaxed as well. Slowly he moved closer to Mitch, waiting to be pushed away like always, but the rejection never came. Mitch just rhythmically tapped his cigarette on the asphalt shingle, like a metronome. Stiles wondered if it was a nervous habit, and almost immediately cast that thought aside; he was the last thing in the world that would make Mitch nervous.

Stiles watched his nimble fingers move, Mitch's arm not quite around Stiles' waist, but close enough that it would only take a small movement to put it there. Stiles wished he would.

As Stiles watched the cigarette slowly turn to ash, burned away to nothing, Mitch would occasionally bring it to his lips for a deep drag. Each time Stiles would lean a little closer. Each time Mitch would let him.

"Can I have one?" Stiles asked when Mitch put out the cigarette a while later, expecting him to reach for another.

"No."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

Stiles turned so that he could better see Mitch, carefully pitched forward on his hands and knees to keep from falling, the position all but putting him in the exorcist's lap. Whatever question he had died on the tip of his tongue, or maybe it was just an excuse. Permission for something he didn't realize he was going to do until he met Mitch's dark eyes.

When he kissed Mitch he could taste the bitter nicotine on his tongue, sharp and unpleasant. But he didn't care because Mitch kissed him back, pulling him closer with a hand curled around the back of his neck, and it was everything Stiles has been dreaming of ever since Mitch pinned him up against the door with his hand around Stiles' throat that first night. Mitch kissed him breathless, until Stiles' lips were swollen and tingly, and he gave a soft whine of disappointment Mitch broke it.

"You should go to bed," he whispered, lips brushing Stiles' like he didn't want to pull away either.

"I don't want to."

"Stiles."

"Come with me," Stiles quietly pleaded. "I don't want to sleep alone." He knew there were seventeen reasons why this was a bad idea, but he couldn't help but want. And he knew Mitch wanted it too, could feel it in the way he kissed, like he was holding himself back. For a moment, it seemed like Mitch would go with him. Then he took Stiles by the shoulder and shoved him away.

"No," Mitch decided, his tone harsh, final.  "Either you leave or I will."

Stiles reeled back as if he had been slapped. He didn't expect such a cold rejection, especially after that kiss, and it stung. More than he would like to admit, sudden tears stinging his eyes from the humiliation.

Not wanting to show how much Mitch cut him, Stiles pulled away and stalked back to his window, climbing through and slamming it close hard enough to make the glass rattle.

 -

Mitch swore, closing his eyes against the emotional whiplash he was picking up on from Stiles, the closed window doing nothing to serve as a barrier against his projections. Usually Mitch was able to block him out, a skill that had been hard earned, but he was starting to get a migraine.

He'd never seen anything like Stiles before; he wasn't a half-breed, or any kind of psychic, and yet his will was strong enough to get through years' worth of defenses Mitch had built up in an effort to not hear the thoughts of everyone around him. Or maybe he was just distracted by the kiss, by his desire. It had been a long time since he'd wanted someone as much as he wanted Stiles. But the last thing he needed was a teenager panting after him like a puppy, especially when said teenager's father was the local sheriff.

Bruising the kid's pride now and showing him that Mitch was not the kind of person he wanted was in both of their best interests. But even as Mitch tried to convince himself of that, Gabriel's words came to him, haunting. 

There is nothing you have ever done for someone else that wasn't first and foremost self-serving. You can dress it up however you like, but you're a selfish prick through and through, and that is why you will never buy your way into heaven.

In his room, the humiliation and longing and loneliness and a dozen other emotions were pouring off of Stiles like poison, and Mitch cursed because he knew what he was going to do as soon as he saw the tears gathering in Stiles’ eyes.

"Fuck me," he said, bitter, and got up. His soul was damned anyway, right?

-

Stiles sat up in bed when he heard the window slide open, the wood grating against itself in protest. A second later Mitch was climbing through like a spider, all black-clad long limbs and grace. He hadn’t expected Mitch to come after him, and he felt cornered, hiding in his bed with blotchy-red cheeks. He felt like a stupid kid after a temper-tantrum compared to the cool and confident exorcist. 

“What do you want?” he asked, proud that he managed to keep his voice steady. It was probably pointless; Mitch could read him like a book before, and that was without Stiles wearing his emotions on his face. 

That was the question, wasn’t it? What did he want. To save his soul, mostly. To not have to spend eternity in hell for the mistake he made when he was fifteen and saw no other way out. To deport as many demons as he could. To get the hell out of this shitty little town that had a way of getting under his skin. 

But none of that mattered to him now. He didn’t want to leave Beacon Hills if it meant leaving Stiles, and the furthest thing from his mind was saving his soul, when all he could think of was ways to damn it further. 

When Stiles got out of bed and cautiously approached, Mitch gave him the raw, unadulterated, sinful truth. 

“You. I want you.” 

[crypticbeliever123]

MFU (The Marvel Fanfic Universe)

I have an idea to create a multi-fic multiverse based off of Marvel characters that will honestly be quite the undertaking but I personally believe would be well worth it if I can actually finish it and below are some ideas I had for it with character names (and a couple major things) bolded so as to make it easier to find info on more preferred characters

This Marvel Fanfic Universe or MFU as I call it, starts not with Iron Man like the MCU, but instead with Spider-Man

in this Peter Parker is Tony Stark’s biological son but they aren’t all that close and Tony is not a mentor to Spider-Man at all and may or may not find out Peter is Spider-Man until his college years

Hawkeye is deaf in his first appearance and all subsequent ones except for a prequel giving his origin story that involves the loss of his hearing that I have already titled Hawkeye and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week (that title is based off Clint’s brother Barney going behind his back to work with Hydra and SHIELD chasing after him and the general craziness that ensues NOT because he goes deaf in this story) (also that title is just perfect for Clint’s character. Let’s be honest if there’s any character with worse luck than Peter Parker, it’s Clint Barton)

Loki and Thor have a better relationship in this wherein Loki was given the assignment of Agent of Asgard by Frigga when they were younger so that Loki could have an important role and help bring about more stability between the 9 realms especially on the Frost Giant front and Loki’s first appearance as a “villain” is really just him trying to accelerate the lesson his brother’s supposed to be learning on Midgard and every instance of villainy later on is just the two of them trolling the Avengers in a (totally not at all a real threat) prank where Loki plays up the part of malicious trickster god rather than the not malicious but just mischievous trickster god that he is in this (Odin rolls his eye every time Heimdall tells him of their shenanigans)

Wolverine and Professor X meet in the Korean War (Charles Xavier canonically was drafted to the war and Canada fought in the war and I thought it would be fun if they met there when Charles was young and for him to be kind of a spoiled rich kid until Logan figures out he’s a mutant and takes it upon himself to turn the kid from a kind of stuck up 19 year old to more the kind of person we know Professor X to be) and Charles later refers to Logan as the greatest man he’s ever known and credits him for inspiring the creation of the Xavier Institute as Logan was the first mutant he ever met and made some good points about how important it is for young mutants to be properly taught and nurtured so they don’t turn out evil

Because Charles Xavier is 19 in roughly 1951 and the X-Men stories will (unless I get sidetracked and can’t start the MFU this year) start in 2020 that means Charles will be 88 years old at the start and might die of old age at some point along the way assuming the X-Men story arcs don’t kill him first. Might kill him off in the Apocalypse arc and have it done by either Nightcrawler (the Horseman of Death) or Archangel (the Horseman of War)

Spider-Gwen and Miles Morales will probably get stories of their own after Spider-Verse

In Miles’ universe Doc Ock will be based off the Spider-Verse movie as that version is just freaking awesome and I might go with the punchclock villain trope that one other post talked about (if anyone has a link to that post I’d love to edit it in here with a link)

Might also do a Spider-Man 2099 story but would have to read his comics first to get a feel of what that character and his enemies are like

Agent Venom will get a storyline as well as some alterations to his family history involving his mother and his birth in general

Captain America will be cloned by Red Skull in order to create Captain Hydra who will convince Bucky, Falcon, and Black Widow that he’s actually Steve and that he’s always secretly been working for Hydra until he torments Bucky so much that he isn’t sure what’s true or not anymore and checks himself into a mental institute (yes, Cap’s clone really is an evil dick)

Fallout from a Superior Spider-Man story arc will actually show Peter dealing with grief from Ock ruining his relationship with MJ and upending his life as well as quite possibly coming to terms with the fact that none of his friends or family noticed that he wasn’t himself for over a year

Might do a Defenders story if I read more comics with those characters in them so I know how to write them

Wiccan and Speed from the Young Avengers will be clones of Wanda and Pietro respectively (with Billy being a trans boy since a gender-swap generated clone only really works with female clone of a man where you can say you just copy-pasted the X chromosome rather than built an entire Y chromosome from scratch or stole one from her brother thereby technically making the clone kinda sorta their genetic lovechild which... ya know... ew) rather than Wanda’s magically created twin sons whose souls were pieces of Mephisto that were taken back by Mephisto and yet SOMEHOW managed to reincarnate despite the fact a lack of existing souls should have made that impossible because clones of Wanda and Pietro makes a hell of a lot more sense to me as to why one of Wanda’s sons would have the appearance and powers of her brother even though they’re supposed to be Vision’s kids too than the comics canon version of events that just. Do. Not. Understand. How. Reincarnation. Works. If the souls were taken back and reabsorbed by a demon then there is nothing left to reincarnate! (as you can see I have some strong feelings regarding this topic)

Because I’m setting the first stories in roughly the present day (2020, hopefully) and the Infinity Saga closer to 2035 and the Guardians of the Galaxy play such a big role in making the rest of the characters aware of the threat of Thanos, Peter Quill may have been born in the early 2000s and thus his taste in music is a result of his mom playing a bunch of music she liked as a kid and that music reminding him of her, rather than music from his own generation

Adam Warlock, in a very convoluted plot line that I may change or keep as is to match the weirdness and insanity that is the comic book industry, will exist as some sort of mutant alien teen clone of Peter Quill with the Soul Gem embedded in his forehead (multiple jokes will ensue about how he’s physically as old as Peter is maturity-wise and yet is somehow less childish than him)

Deadpool is a recurring character in most if not all of these stories

The Fantastic Four don’t show up until near the end of the MFU arc during the Infinity Saga because they’d spent the entirety of all this travelling the multiverse and other dimensions as a family

Might have “With great power there must also come great responsibility” being a recurring theme in the MFU with Logan learning the line from Steve during WWII and then passing the line onto Charles Xavier and perhaps to Richard Parker (Peter’s stepfather in this) who makes it his signature line that Ben Parker keeps alive as he and May raise Peter (Tony is terrified to death of becoming his father and abusing Peter and refused custody because of this but still pays ample child support) and have Peter start the very first line of the first MFU story with the line and end the last story with a repeat of that line while saying something about how every hero lives by it either knowingly or unknowingly

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 27 May 2019

Quick Bits:

A Walk Through Hell #10 somehow gets even more disturbing as we’re shown some of McGregor’s past as he was abused and set up as a suicide. The horror that Garth Ennis, Goran Sudžuka, Ive Svorcina, and Rob Steen keep exploring in this series keeps getting more personal and seemingly has no limit to its depth.

| Published by AfterShock

Amazing Spider-Man #22 concludes (mostly) the “Hunted” arc as Kraven continues to try to convince Spider-Man that he’s a killer and to finally put Kraven out of his misery. It’s incredibly messed up logic, but Nick Spencer, Humberto Ramos, Victor Olazaba, Edgar Delgado, Erick Arciniega, and Joe Caramagna make it interesting. You could consider this end anti-climactic, especially after how long this has been, but I get the feeling we’ll be dealing with the ramifications for a while to come.

| Published by Marvel

Amber Blake #3 takes an interesting turn as an undercover operation into a modelling agency reveals that Amber’s childhood friend Amanda is still alive. The level of intrigue and twists in this story just keeps escalating, matching the density of the layouts and art from Butch Guice, Mike Perkins, and Dan Brown.

| Published by IDW

Angel #1 is incredible. Possibly even better than the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series and that has set a ridiculously high bar. Bryan Edward Hill, Gleb Melnikov, Gabriel Cassata, and Ed Dukeshire embrace the darker, moodier feel of Angel consistent with the different atmosphere that was present in the television series, while diving deep into building up his dark past and conflicted future. There’s a lot that is new to this interpretation, which just makes it more intriguing. And the art from Melnikov and Cassata is gorgeous.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Ascender #2 advances the vamps’ plan to eradicate the remaining technology in the universe, as Andy is reunited with Bandit, and the vamps come to threaten him and his family. This remains an interesting new take on the Descender world from Jeff Lemire, Dustin Nguyen, and Steve Wands as we see more of what’s happened since the end of that series.

| Published by Image

Batman: Last Knight on Earth #1 is an interesting debut from Scott Snyder, Greg Capullo, Jonathan Glapion, FCO Plascencia, and Tom Napolitano. On its surface, it’s an “Old Man Bruce” story, as a previously comatose Bruce awakens in a dark and strange future. But this existence is weird and unreliable. Especially as Bruce awakens in a fiction at first, being told that he’s in Arkham and that all of his villains and time as Batman were fever dreams cooked up by a fractured mind. This may well be the best art ever from Capullo, Glapion, and Plascencia.

| Published by DC Comics / Black Label

Black Science #40 shows that the story still has some surprises in store as it rockets towards the end. Also some ridiculous jokes. Matteo Scalera and Moreno Dinisio continue to inventive as hell with the art.

| Published by Image / Giant Generator

Coda #12 is the explosive, brilliant conclusion to what has been on the best series of this year and last. Si Spurrier, Matías Bergara, Michael Doig, and Jim Campbell have delivered some stunning flights of imagination, tapping into some highly inventive nihilistic fantasy, presenting the final battle battle this issue, and, man, does it stick the landing. Phenomenal storytelling all around.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Daredevil #6 begins “No Devils, Only God” in a New York City without Daredevil. Lalit Kumar Sharma, Jay Leisten, and Java Tartaglia come on for art duties for this arc and it’s an interesting shift. Sharma’s style reminds me a bit of Klaus Janson’s, but without the heavy inks and shadows.

| Published by Marvel

Detective Comics Annual #2 heads into Year Two territory as we get a new Reaper from Peter J. Tomasi, Travis Moore, Max Raynor, Tamra Bonvillain, Nick Filardi, and Rob Leigh. This is a nice use of the annual format, giving us a satisfying single issue story setting up a possible future arc.

| Published by DC Comics

The Forgotten Queen #4 brings an end to this excellent series exploring the history of Vexana, War-Monger, from Tini Howard, Amilcar Pinna, Ulises Arreola, and Jeff Powell. Very interesting depth added to the character and interesting hints as to what more might be coming, hopefully.

| Published by Valiant

Hellboy vs. Lobster Johnson: Ring of Death elaborates further on Hellboy’s time in Mexico making wrestling movies in a pair of tales from Mike Mignola, Chris Roberson, Mike Norton, Paul Grist, Dave Stewart, Bill Crabtree, and Clem Robins. Seeing a presentation of the movie Hellboy starred in is a real treat.

| Published by Dark Horse

Immortal Hulk #18 leans hard into the body horror aspect of the series, debuting both Betty’s full form as this new Harpy and in the Abomination. Joe Bennett, Ruy José, and Paul Mounts just nail this perfectly.

| Published by Marvel

Killer Groove #1 is a great first issue from Ollie Masters, Eoin Marron, Jordie Bellaire, and Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou. It’s a taut crime drama mixing a never-was musician with the potential of life as a hitman, as he lucks into a kill during a chance encounter. Great art from Marron and Bellaire.

| Published by AfterShock

The Magnificent Ms. Marvel #3 advances the alien plot, sending Kamala and her parents off to Saffa to supposedly fulfill the role of their Destined One, saving the planet again. Saladin Ahmed, Minkyu Jung, Juan Vlasco, Ian Herring, and Joe Caramagna are doing some interesting world-building here, and ensuring that nothing is quite what it seems.

| Published by Marvel

Peter Cannon: Thunderbolt #5 is the beautiful conclusion to what has been a brilliant series from Kieron Gillen, Caspar Wijngaard, Mary Safro, and Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou. It’s been a sequel, satire, criticism, and repudiation of Watchmen, but it’s also been an interesting mediation on “being better” while coming to terms with the nature of reality and learning to deal with the human element.

| Published by Dynamite

Queen of Bad Dreams #2 gets more into the grit of IJ Wei’s investigation into the escaped figment, delivering some great police procedural stuff. The artwork from Jordi Pérez and Dearbhla Kelly is wonderful. Reminding me a lot of some of the work from John Watkiss, particularly during a very impressive action sequence.

| Published by Vault

She Said Destroy #1 is an intriguing science fantasy debut from Joe Corallo, Liana Kangas, Rebecca Nalty, and Melanie Ujimori. It taps into Celtic mythology, presenting a war between Brigid and the Morrigan, but also appears to be telling a coming of age story with some members of the Morrigan’s flock as they try to combat Brigid’s oppression. 

| Published by Vault

Star Wars #108 is essentially another one-shot in the 80th anniversary of Marvel celebration, with Matthew Rosenberg and a murderers’ row of new and old Star Wars artists delivering a tale set in the old Marvel continuity. While you’ll get more out of it if you’re familiar with the original series, with familiar faces like Valance Hunter, Domina Tagge, and Jaxxon, but it still works well on its own without having any foreknowledge of previous events.

| Published by Marvel

Stranger Things: Six #1 begins another prequel mini-series, this time introducing us to “Six” and looking into the experiments going on at the Hawkins Labs, from Jody Houser, Edgar Salazar, Keith Champagne, Marissa Louise, and Nate Piekos. I quite liked the first one that served as a view into the terror that Will went through during season one, but this one looks like it’ll be breaking some new ground. Very interested to see more of what happened earlier.

| Published by Dark Horse

Superman: Leviathan Rising Special #1 is a tease for Event Leviathan, the next turn in the Superman series, the forthcoming Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen minis, and the upcoming Supergirl arc once she returns to Earth, but it also manages to tell a fairly entertaining story in its own right as Talia al Ghul kidnaps Clark Kent.

| Published by DC Comics

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #94 continues “City at War” as everything gets nastier and dirtier, and we still haven’t had a full-on incendiary spark yet to ignite even larger warfare. Dave Wachter and Ronda Pattison deliver some incredible artwork. Splinter is very chilling in this one.

| Published by IDW

Thor #13 will make you care about Cul Borson. At least, a little bit. Maybe. Jason Aaron, Mike del Mundo, Marco D’Alfonso, and Joe Sabino deliver on another single issue story broadening the bits and pieces of the War of the Realms.

| Published by Marvel

Transformers #6 takes a break from the ongoing narrative and gives us a look into the past friendship between Megatron and Orion Pax, from Brian Ruckley, Beth McGuire-Smith, and Tom B. Long. There are some interesting parallels between Megatron’s observations and the drifting apart of these two old friends.

| Published by IDW

Wolverine: The Long Night #5 concludes this adaptation of the podcast of the same name from Benjamin Percy, Marcio Takara, Matt Milla, and Joe Caramagna. This has been a mature, psychological thriller amidst all of the violence and darkness, with this final chapter delivering more twists even as it brings the answers.

| Published by Marvel

Other Highlights: Age of X-Man: X-Tremists #4, Bad Luck Chuck #3, Black Panther #12, Blossoms 666 #4, Catwoman Annual #1, Dark Red #3, Dead Kings #5, Delver #4, Dick Tracy Forever #2, Doctor Who: The Thirteenth Doctor #8, Dog Days of Summer #1, Fantastic Four #10, Fight Club 3 #5, Four Sisters 2: Hortense, Grand Abyss Hotel, KINO #16, Life on the Moon, Lumberjanes: Somewhere Green #1, Major X #4, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers #39, Princeless - Book 8: Princesses #3, Punk Mambo #2, Punks Not Dead: London Calling #4, Rick & Morty #50, Spawn #297, Star Trek: Year Five #2, Star Wars: Vader - Dark Visions #4, Superior Spider-Man #6, TMNT: Urban Legends #13, Thanos #2, Wailing Blade #1, War of the Realms: Giant-Man #2, War of the Realms: Spider-Man & The League of Realms #2, War of the Realms: War Scrolls #2, Wasted Space #10, X-23 #12, X-Men: Grand Design - X-Tinction #1

Recommended Collections: Death Orb - Volume 1, Dept. H Omnibus - Volume 1, The Goon: Bunch of Old Crap, Judge Dredd: Toxic, Punisher - Volume 2: War in Bagalia, Rick & Morty Presents - Volume 1, X-Force - Volume 1: Sins of the Past

For the week of 20 May 2019

Quick Bits:

Action Comics #1011 is the last stop before Event Leviathan starts in earnest and it raises more questions as to what’s going on. Brian Michael Bendis, Steve Epting, Brad Anderson, and Josh Reed have done a great job elevating tension through this lead-up and moving the pieces around the board.

| Published by DC Comics

Assassin Nation #3 is another brutal issue from Kyle Starks, Erica Henderson, and Deron Bennett. The body count remains high and we get more questions about who authorized the hit. There’s some hints that it may all just be misdirection.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Detective Comics #1004 gives us the life history of Astrid Arkham. It’s told largely in full page montages, really allowing Brad Walker, Andrew Hennessy, and Nathan Fairbairn to cut loose on the visuals.

| Published by DC Comics

Faithless #2 sees Faith go to a party, and then it gets weird. This feels like that Griffin Dunne film of him wandering around New York, only with more magic and gorgeous art from Maria Llovet.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Ghost Tree #2 delivers well on the promise of the first issue, going further with Brandt’s conversations with the spirits around the ghost tree, and setting up the possibility of something horrible coming soon. More gorgeous artwork from Simon Gane, Ian Herring, and Becka Kinzie.

| Published by IDW

Incursion #4 is a fitting conclusion to this series bringing Gilad back to a regular status in the world of the living, with some interesting teases as to what might be further down the line, from Andy Diggle, Alex Paknadel, Doug Braithwaite, Diego Rodriguez, Leonardo Paciarotti, and Marshall Dillon.

| Published by Valiant

Justice League Dark #11 continues “Lords of Order” and keeps burning down the magical side of the DC Universe, while diving very deep into the back catalogue to build up the new. James Tynion IV is developing a very interesting structure for what might be coming.

| Published by DC Comics

Middlewest #7 shows the sheer devastation that Abel can unleash as his powers manifest, similar to the rage that his father has shown, and how his newfound “family” can also let him down horribly. Great work from Skottie Young, Jorge Corona, Jean-Francois Beaulieu, and Nate Piekos as the story seems to be headed for more dangerous waters.

| Published by Image

Star Wars: Age of Rebellion - Jabba the Hutt #1 is an entertaining little story of how Jabba manipulates others to accomplish his goals.

| Published by Marvel

Stone Star #3 gives us another surprise as Dail tries to save Kitzo from being eaten in the arena by Most-Maw. It’s very interesting how this series plays with elements of hero shooters and the designs for the characters and creatures by Max Dunbar are incredible.

| Published by Swords & Sassery

Other Highlights: A Shining Beacon, Age of X-Man: Amazing Nightcrawler #4, Animosity #21, Asgardians of the Galaxy #9, Avengers #19, Batgirl #35, Battlestar Galactica: Twilight Command #4, Bone Parish #9, Books of Magic #8, Clue: Candlestick #1, Cyber Force #10, Dial H for Hero #3, Doctor Strange #14, The Flash #71, Freedom Fighters #6, Gasolina #18, GI Joe: A Real American Hero #262, The Goon #2, Highwayman, Invader Zim #43, Invisible Kingdom #3, Martian Manhunter #5, Marvel Comics Presents #5, Mary Shelley: Monster Hunter #2, Miles Morales: Spider-Man #6, Monstress #22, Moon Girl & Devil Dinosaur #43, Mr. & Mrs. X #11, Redneck #20, Riverdale Season 3 #3, Road of Bones #1, Rumble #12, Runaways #21, Shuri #8, The Silencer #17, Star Trek: Q Conflict #4, Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge #2, Tony Stark: Iron Man #11, The Unstoppable Wasp #8, Venom #14, War of the Realms: Journey into Mystery #3, War of the Realms: New Agents of Atlas #2, War of the Realms: The Punisher #2, War of the Realms: Strikeforce - The Land of Giants #1, War of the Realms: Uncanny X-Men #2, The Warning #7, Welcome to Wanderland #4. Wolverine: Infinity Watch #4, Wonder Woman #71, X-Force #8

Recommended Collections: Black Badge - Volume 1, Black Magick, Cover - Volume 1, Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Volume 1, East of West - Volume 9, Fantastic Four - Volume 2: Mr. & Mrs. Grimm, Friendo - Volume 1, James Bond: Blackbox, Middlewest - Book 1, Planet Terry Complete Collection, Redlands - Volume 2, Summit - Volume 3: Truth & Consequences, Wayward - Book 3

d. emerson eddy thinks there should be more hours in the day.

[lissamems]

The Three Tipsy Spiders

To prepare for a Troupe party, Shalnark, Phinks, and Feitan are sent out for alcohol. This goes about as well as can be expected.

From start to finish, it was a bad idea.

Of all the groups to have to send out for beer, those three were by far the worst combination. The only reason they were even sent out together was because Phinks was the pickiest when it came to booze and therefore always had to be there to choose what to drink and that for their safety, Shal and Feitan were sent far from the other members. Feitan had found it amusing to convince Shalnark to post Machi’s phone number on several dating websites and the female Troupe member was out for blood, so Chrollo had sent the duo along with Phinks.

In Phinks opinion, the job had started off rather well. Shalnark was completely preoccupied by a new game on his phone and Feitan seemed content to just stare out the window, so Phinks was free to adjust and listen to the radio of their new (stolen) car however he wished.

The Troupe was currently stationed in an abandoned hotel on the outskirts of a town that seemed rather abandoned itself. It was so small that none of the buildings had actual names and they had to stop for alcohol at a charming little store called “Store”.

It was at that paragon of shopping establishments that things began to go downhill. Or at least escalate in that direction.

The “Store” had an inexcusably small selection, only offering three cases of beer. It should not have been that shocking to the trio, given that around ten people still lived in the near empty town, but Phinks still felt personally slighted at it.

“What the hell are we supposed to do with this?”

“Drink it, idiot.” Feitan claimed to not know much of the Troupe’s native language, but it certainly seemed to come naturally to him when he was insulting Phinks.

“No, he’s right.” Shalnark looked up from his phone and sighed. “As soon as we get back, Uvo and Nobu are going to take them and it’s not even enough to get one of them drunk.”

“Dealing with an almost drunk Uvogin is better than a sober one who’s upset we didn’t get him any beer.” said Phinks more than a little irritably.

“Ah, that’s fair.”

Resigned to having to settle for the few cases of beer, Phinks was almost hoping for a fight. He didn’t live for it as savagely as Uvo did, but he did look forward to brawls. Unfortunately for him, the Store’s sole employee was an exhausted (and rather senile) old man who waved them out of the store without even looking at them.

“Does this even count as stealing?” asked Shalnark at full volume while staring directly at the old man, who neglected entirely to respond. “Oh well.”

The job could have ended very simply after that, with the three bringing back the three cases (that were admittedly large but nowhere near the unholy amount needed to get the entire Troupe even buzzed).

However. The amount was just right for getting three of the Spiders very nicely inebriated.

Feitan was the one who commented on it first. “If we bring only this back, all we will do is make them angry. So whatever we do after this, someone’s going to be mad.”

Shalnark caught on first. “You have a point.” All three pairs of eyes focused on the beer currently stored in the trunk of their car. “If we’re going to get yelled at anyways, we may as well not be sober for it.”

“That will be easy enough for you, Shal, you smell alcohol and get tipsy.” Phinks eyed the liquor critically. Enhancers were notoriously good at drinking and he especially was very, very good at it.

“You afraid?” Though Feitan’s mouth was covered by his collar, he was obviously grinning.

Phinks couldn’t open his first beer fast enough

Though the Spiders were very good at most illegal actions, driving while drunk was not one of them. Phinks made it exactly ten meters out of the “Store’s” gravel parking lot before trashing the car completely in a ditch he swore was new.

Shalnark and Feitan were completely useless by that point, Shal a collapsed pile of laughter in the passenger seat while Feitan sat in a still somewhat menacing silence behind them both. Phinks stared at the smoking hood of the car in front of him and punched the steering wheel, forgetting for a moment that he was much stronger than the average, non Nen-using drunk.

So now not only was the hood on fire and the front of the car crumpled like one of the beer cans littering the floor, but the steering wheel was also unrecognizable and spewing sparks.

Shalnark hummed in thought, leaning forward to inspect the wreckage, “I don’t think that steers anymore.”

Phinks groaned (which Shalnark helpfully called whining) and pulled out his phone. He clicked on their boss’s name and sent the following text:

“Send hep cars on fire not feitans fault”

And then they waited.

Usually when the three of them were out drunk somewhere, Pakunoda was the one sent to retrieve them. She acted stern with them, but she was also patient and would get them food and water. So that is who they were expecting as their rescuer, not the far meaner woman who rolled down the driver’s window to fix them all with a trademark icy glare.

Machi somehow looked both apathetic and furious as she watched at the three tipsy Spiders on the side of the road. “Get in.”

“Mmmm, no thank you.”

“Shut up, Shalnark.”

“No, we’ll wait for Paku.”

“Now!”

The now slightly shamed trio crawled into the car Machi had “acquired” to pick them up, Phinks making sure she knew that his stolen car was nicer than hers. Machi didn’t even look at him as she started to drive, she just stated dryly, “Your car is also a pile of metal as trashed as you are.”

Feitan and Shalnark sat in the back of the car, both of whom were extremely delighted to find Kortopi sitting with them. Shal gasped very quietly. “Topi, you too?”

“No, Kortopi is not drunk. Chrollo thought it would be good for him to see how stupid alcohol makes people act, so he sent him with me to pick you three up.” She looked almost pityingly at the young Troupe member. “I probably should have warned him more.”

Kortopi just laughed, an almost silent sound that no one else heard. Phinks stared very hard at the Conjurer (he was wearing a mop on his head, he was absolutely sure of it), but felt the safest option was to not say anything.

Feitan, on the other hand, felt that this was the time for him to make his first drunken comment of the evening. He leaned across Shalnark, who sat between them, to stop mere inches from Kortopi’s face and say, “I will shave you, mouse man.”

Sighing in complete exasperation, Machi looked back at the other Transmuter, “Feitan, what does that even mean?”

“It means keep Feitan the hell away from scissors.”

“Shut up, Shalnark.”

The rest of the ride went a bit smoother, aside from the fact that Kortopi was now terrified and had moved the slightest bit away from the others. Shalnark was staring intensely at his phone (which turned out not to actually be his phone and was really a stranger’s he had happened to find somewhere) and Phinks kept trying to lunge forward to change the radio station only for Machi to tap the brakes and make him fly against his seat restraints.

The others were all getting battered too, but knew by now to just stay quiet.

That intelligent decision did not last long.

“Maaachi.”

“What.”

“Maaaaachi.”

“I swear, Phinks, if you don’t shut the hell up-”

Shalnark sniffled in the backseat, his laughter turning very quickly to booze fueled sadness. “I miss Paku. She got us snacks once.”

Feitan was still watching Kortopi, catlike in his fixation. “And she did not bring the mouse man.”

“Alright, enough with that mouse man stuff, you’re making him nervous.” She shrugged apologetically at Kortopi before looking back to Phinks with a far less warm expression. “Paku isn’t feeling well so I’m the one who got sent out to fetch you idiots.

Shalnark gasped again at that, a look of complete horror on his face. The next few minutes of the ride had to be spent on reassuring the blond that Pakunoda was not in fact dying. His personality did another complete turn around afterwards, now cheerily watching their surroundings outside the car.

The trip finally concluded in silence, the only other noteworthy event being that Machi had to briefly shield Kortopi from Feitan as they exited the car. She then strode away from the stumbling group of drunks without a backwards glance, ignoring Shalnark’s heartfelt “I love you!” as she did so.

Then, giggling like schoolchildren, the three then launched an attempt to sneak into the safe house, forgetting that everyone inside was an angry, almost overpowered thief ready to beat them to a pulp.

Franklin was the first to spot them, though all he did was smirk and turn away, laughing to himself. Uvogin and Nobunaga were both noticeably absent, most likely because Chrollo did not want them to kill the three, but there was a punch mark in the wall probably caused by one of them. Bonolenov stared at them (mighty judgey, thought Phinks, for a man who was like eighty percent hole) and Kortopi peered at them from behind the holey (pffffft holy) man.

Chrollo was the final Spider they spotted, though his gaze was the hardest to hold.  For a moment, the three felt enormously guilty and stared at the ground, Shal in particular feeling devastated.

Then Feitan reached into his coat to pull out a single, dented beer that none of the men had touched and handed it to their leader, an apology and an offering all in one.

Chrollo’s lips twitched from the flat line they had been pressed into and smiled very faintly. “You do all realize that tomorrow you’ll all be hungover and chased by two Enhancers who want nothing more than to maim you?”

Phinks waved dismissively, trying (and failing) to seem tough and extra macho, “That’s what they’re always like.”

The leader of the Phantom Troupe laughed indulgently at that and gestured for the trio to go find a space to pass out in. “Good luck, you three.”

God knew they needed it.

[hawthorne-inmyside]

30 MORE TOS PROMPTS 2k17!

Hey everyone! Some of you may remember that before I was a mod last year my gift to TOS for the new year was this giant prompt list that is still available for plot drops and has some of my favourite ridiculous plot ideas on it, but for this year I’ve done it again, as you may be able to see :P. Please use these, I had a lot of fun coming up with them! (And pretend this isn’t like... nine days late >.>)

There’s a door in your house. There was a point at which that door wasn’t there, but you don’t remember when. You also don’t know what’s behind the door, but you don’t feel like you don’t know, and regardless, every time you go to look through it... it just slips your mind once you get to the door. (Some sorta trickster playing with your character or strong magical enchantment hiding serious secrets) 

Your character done goofed. They’ve upset someone with magical prowess in some way, offended something they shouldn’t have, dabbled with a bad potion, or something, and the outcome is they’ve become a cat for a few days. (Other animals may be substituted)

There’s strength in numbers, but someone put over a hundred chicken eggs in your house and now you’re not sure they’re chicken eggs. (Maybe cockatrice, maybe something else?)

Your character needs to remember something very important, something critical. However, after a mosquito bite, they’ve forgotten it. Knowing how important the thing they’ve forgotten was they’re incredibly stressed out about it. Meanwhile, elsewhere, someone has woken up with the memory of something that they know is very important but they’re not sure why, just that it is. (Brain Biter) (Could be great for a first meeting!)

 Your characters are having a sleepover/one night stand/committed relationship and are sleeping in the same bed/room. One of them asks the other why they’re breathing so hard, except they weren’t. There’s something else in the room.

Your characters witness a murder, and the perps leave before their victim, an elderly man. As he dies he presses an amulet into one character’s hand. “Keep it safe.” After that, no matter what your characters do, that amulet keeps reappearing on them, and sometimes, just sometimes, it gets burningly hot. 

Your character finds an oldfashioned envelope with a wax seal. Inside is nothing but a key and an address. However, when they pursue it, they’re just led to a box (perhaps another character’s inheritence that they’ve never been able to open?) with another key and another address. Do they dare chase up the next one?

Your character’s living room has been painted the same since they moved in: cream walls with one rich red highlight wall. After a break in, they find out something pretty scary - it wasn’t painted with paint but with blood. 

One of the worst things about waking in a forest is when you get a spider’s web to the face when you weren’t expecting it. Especially a giant spider web that you’re actually trapped in and you can hear something coming near... (Arachne) 

Your character has decided with the new year to get into gardening. So every day they start going out into their garden and dig. Always in the same spot, one hour a day exactly. Actually, now they think about it, they’re not sure why their still digging, nothing needs to be planted five feet deep. Their friends are getting worried. They won’t stop digging. Maybe there’s something that wants digging up.

Your character wakes up in their parents clothes. Their parents are in a diffferent town/country/continent/dimension/dead.

Your character is very annoyed at the person they’re living with for never replacing the soap when they use it up. And for being wasteful with the soap, there was no way anyone ought to be going through the soap that fast. It becomes a big source on contention between them as the oil starts going too. (Bannik)

Your character’s next door neighbour is a sweet old lady who no one sees very often, but now hasn’t been seen for a week. When your character sees her again, she’s walking a bit strange, looking a bit dead in the eyes... and you’re pretty sure you just saw her eat roadkill. (Bhut)

Your character wakes up with something like a mosquito bite on their cheek. They have a strange memory of a very dark secret and mystery, but no idea where it came from. When they do find out who it belonged to they also found out that person died, leaving some serious unsolved business that only your character can solve. (Maybe multiple characters get multiple fragments and need to solve it together.) (Brainbiter)

Your character ends up with a minor ghost problem for which they summon an NPC exorcist. Unfortunately, as they come to your character’s home, they get attacked by a caballi, killing them and leaving a dead body in your place. They’ve now got to explain this dead body in their home and they’ve still got a problem with a ghost and exorcists avoiding them because the last dropped dead. 

Your neighbor’s daughter asks you to look after her pet guinea pig while they go on a family trip. You swear to this girl that come hell or highwater her pig will be protected. This leads to a very interesting and intense week with a Condenado.

Character meets a djab who has been hired for a mission, and finds them strangely amicable, even growing to befriend them. At least, until they find out the Djab was hired to kill their friend.

Mistakes are made. Your characters encounter a ballybog and start tripping, and in their inebriated state, they then have the misfortune of stumbling into an Eintykara nest. The mix is not pleasant and god spare the poor souls who come across them. 

Your character is trying one of those new diet trends that’s going around, or alternatively a food cleanse, and it seems to be working impressively well. At least, until  they realise it’s a fat flitter.

Your character wakes up one morning with a memory of a murder or otherwise terrible act that someone else committed. (brain biter) What they don’t realise is that the memory was one from the other character’s alternate universe self, bringing in some real complications.

Your character has been having a serious spell of bad luck recently. Maybe it’s a faulty good luck charm, maybe it’s that mirror they broke, or maybe it was that giant black monster they saw the other day, who knows. (Likho)

One character with average or less speed and one supernaturally fast character are walking along quite amenably, when they see two people not too far ahead of them. Suddenly, one of the two people’s jaws snaps wide open and they swallow them whole. The Mornlich then turns it attention to them. They better run. 

The next door neighbor’s kid woke up without any bones left in their arm one morning and a deep hole in their elbow, and you’ve had a sinking feeling for a couple days now that there’s something in your home. (Rawhead)

Your character stumbles across a pile of warm, steamy organs in their garden one evening. By the time they’ve got the police, someone or anyone helpful at all, they’re gone, and all that remains is some bile. They’ve now got to convince people that it is definitely starting to become a frequent thing. (Stikini)

A yurei has a vendetta against your alternate universe self, but has now ended up AC with your current self. Have fun with that. 

Your character sees a craiglist ad for “Willing volunteer needed for human sacrifice” They decide that this is probably a dodgy individual that needs investigating and expose and volunteer?

The last three people who have stepped into an elevator in a building of your choice have died. Why?

Your character is playing a musical instrument home alone. They hear someone clap.

When your characters agree to go to the circus, they weren’t expecting to be seduced by the magic of Pickle’s Family Circus. Bonus points if they’re a warden caught unawares.

There are some serious weeds growing in your character’s garden, and when they go to dig them up, they start screaming (Mandrakes, Supernatural Plants)

One character finds a four leaf clover and tucks it into the breast pocket of another character to give them luck, in an affectionate way. Unfortunately, it’s Raskovnik, and something gets uncovered if you get my meaning. (Supernatural plants)

Your character is attacked by vampires, but the attack suddenly stops after one bite. They declare your blood gross because it’s Rh negative. Your character is left, very confused. (Order of Everlasting Blood)