#he's been carrying the team tho mercy IS good he just can

[bhaalsdeepbat]

i have two family members who want to run honor mode with me. i'm going to be playing a gloomstalker assassin durge (this is what I made V for), and will be carrying my brother and cousin through the game bc they didn't realize how hard I've been making tactician for myself for the challenge

they intend to have my character do all the talking, which would be great if I wasn't going to be the least rizzed up of the group. I told them we were certainly going to be losing Arabella and there would be no talking the Ogre down lol

[wickedpact]

A ranking of all the TTT stories in order of how much I liked them.

(Oh god this is so long)

1 My Mother's Axe

BABY ANDYYYYYYYYYYYY. Honestly this one had the trifecta of developing a character's motivations, developing a character's backstory, & developing their personality. The story starting out with Andy teaching Nile to use the axe was so charming and fun, and you could feel that chemistry they had in Opening Fire, the way they teased and bickered with each other so naturally. I loved the wedge between them on the subject of the axe, how Nile was perhaps a little too young to understand Andy's feelings about whether or not its the 'same' axe. I also love how the axe is obviously the symbol of the franchise and hugely important, but you never get a sense of exactly how important it is to Andy until you read the story.

I love the entire Ship of Theseus theme, and how it feels so natural that for Andy she has to get attached to the idea of things rather than the things themselves because she'll always outlive the things themselves-- the axe is symbolically her mom's axe, even if physically it isn't. And I love how she clearly clings to that concept so tightly. "This is the labrys she held in her hands...." IT GETS ME.

And the fact that this sense of BELONGING, of FAMILY, of CULTURE is so important to Andy that she clings to it (figuratively and literally) with both hands. And of course it's important to her, she spent so long alone that the woman doesn't even remember her birth name. That axe (or the idea of that axe) is all she has left of her mother and that family/culture she was born into.

PLUS on that note I love how Andy doesn't remember if her mom was her actual biological mother, but it doesn't matter to her. This woman was her mother in all the ways that counted. And how her mom BETRAYED AND KILLED Andy but Andy loved her so much that she avenged her and carried her axe for thousands of years. THOUSANDS OF YEARS!!!!!!

I also loved how the story transcends the timeline of the whole franchise and seeing Andy through the years. Loved seeing her with the varying squads and with varying axes. Also baby Andy was so cute. It was cool seeing her so young. like holy fuck. Andromache The Scythian, Immortal Warrior (but smol). Love that.

Also I think this one is one of the few ttt stories that doesn't suffer from length problems.

tldr: goddammit greg you've done it again.

2 Zanzibar and Other Harbors

Zanzibar my beloved. I've said before, but it's downright comedic how little regard there was for Joe and Nicky's character designs in this story. The same person who does the colors for the regular comic did the colors for this one too, and you can tell, every panel of this story was Beautiful.

Ik there was A Lot of criticism of this one (lmao @ how the fandom had no idea what was to come) but I thought a lot of The Discourse was a bit dramatic. I did think Nicky came off as a little oblivious to Joe's feelings in this story, but I've said before, I honestly think that was a 'tone not translating' thing. It felt like Nicky was nagging Joe for [checks notes] saving innocent people, but Joe was so amused by Nicky's complaints I really do think it was supposed to come off as teasing.

Plus I know the 'Joe running off into danger and Nicky reluctantly following' dynamic wasn't popular (I'm a pretty meh on it meself) but I did love how Joe's impulsiveness (if you want to call it that) was interpreted as heroism and not hot-hotheadedness. All of the examples Nicky and Joe talked about included Joe explicitly saving people. (and it also took A Lot for the nazi to actually provoke Joe).

I also feel like their characterization here was closest to the movie canon-- the bit where they hear the woman scream and Joe goes running in to save her while Nicky swoops in on Joe's heels to comfort her while Joe and the nazi were fighting reminds me of the train car scene. Joe had suggested First that they go find Nile because she needed to be protected, and Nicky later added that Nile probably also needed emotional support. Similar reactions.

But it was So Good, the themes of queer community and the enduring nature of queer culture are Not themes you see in media that often and it was such a delight how it was done. Also it's one of the few more modern TTT stories that has a completely valid excuse for taking place when it did. Chef's kiss.

3 Passchendaele

I love the Duality between seeing baby Andy and then seeing Mama Andy in the very next issue. This story doesn't have a ton of meat to it, but the entire concept of Andy adopting a war orphan straight off the battlefield PLUCKS MY TENDER LITTLE HEARTSTRINGS, and I think it's especially poignant for comic!Andy. I think most people wouldn't think twice about movie!Andy doing something like that but comic Andy is so hardened and almost cruel sometimes, and seeing that even for her the world hasn't beaten all of the compassion from her yet is SO!!!!!!! this woman contains MULTITUDES okay, she's violent and angry and tired and Done but she's also so kind and compassionate and THE STRENGTH OF HER!!!!! Also the idea of her and Yitzhak co-raising a kid together is so damn cute. It was #mysterious pre-Yitzhak-story but now it's cute. holy fuck. It's cute.

& the headbonk panel of her and Zeus lives in my heart. anyways.

4 Many Happy Returns

I Know people weren't thrilled about Booker being in this one, but I've developed a pet-peeve about that: this story was *not* booker-centric. Booker only exists in this story to the extent required to explain the importance of the gesture Nile makes towards him. If there was a story about Booker making some grand gesture of kindness to Nile no one would be saying it was Nile-centric. bc it wouldn't be! Booker exists in this story to explore Nile's kindness, its not about him. I saw that a couple times and it bothered me. anyways.

AAAAAAAAAA I loved this one, the art was beautiful, I loved how Andy Nile and Booker were drawn (like their comic selves but.. more looking like actual people). I loved Andy and Nile's Bants, how Andy wanted to jump right in and Do Violence but Nile was basically telling her to hold her horses.

I feel like I'm just repeating the post I made on this story a few days ago, but I LOVED how Nile's plan revolves not around violence or Cool Mercenary Skills but on Nile's own life skills (as she canonly did a lot of minimum wage job-hopping before the marines in comics canon). Her plan used her skills, not the skills of an immortal warrior, and HER SKILLS were in fact more useful for the situation! lov to see Nile's resourcefulness and planning skills.

AND HOW NILE WAS PROBABLY WATCHING BOOKER??? it's so Much bc 1.) nile knew booker A SINGLE DAY and yet he made such an impression on her emotionally that she had to keep an eye on him and 2.) she said in the movie she wanted Booker to get off free with an apology. Yes she's a member of the team but that doesn't mean she's necessarily going to follow orders like a good little soldier. I also love how she convinced Andy to go along with it. her HEART, her KINDNESS, her THOUGHTFULNESS, UGH.

5 The Bear

Honestly I have like no negative things to say about this one other than a.) character design issues which is less about the story itself and is more of a 'tog comic in general' criticism and b.) too short, but it was supposed to be a tease, so.

But I loved Yitzhak, I wasn't expecting to really like him at all but like I said in my other post, he tickled me. I love characters who are Kind™, especially if they have little reason to be so given their backgrounds. Chef's kiss. Lov him.

6 Bonsai Shokunin

I know this one was a little controversial bc of the outsider POV but whenever I see people upset about that they never point out that the Outsider Guy (the samurai) existed as a reflection on Noriko. His ideas are explained in the text to develop hers. The whole story follows how she gave mercy to a scared young man and in response he murdered Noriko, repeatedly! Who gave him the right to inflict such pain and suffering on the world? In his opinion, the lack of response from the gods was his permission. And for Noriko-- over and over again she dies and suffers because she gave mercy, which lines up with her ideas in FM about how it's their fate to rule mortals and if they don't align with that plan/fate/whatever then they suffer. It shows some background to those ideas and how they developed in her mind outside of Ocean Madness™. Additionally, his idea of 'the Gods have done nothing to strike me down so it's fine if I do these things' kind of explains how Noriko may justify her own morally corrupt actions-- she's died so many times and it's never stuck. Maybe if she did die any of those times, or while she was in the water, maybe that would've been a sign she was doing something right, or at least doing something normal. But she hasn't died. Fate isn't done with Noriko yet. And maybe there's a reason for that. In her mind, it's just not a very pleasant reason, is all.

There were things I was kind of meh about tho. I did kind of wish we saw something of Noriko and the team, or smth explaining the way she was before her dip in the pool-- personality, likes dislikes, etc. but it wasn't bad or anything. It was super vague tho, I had to read it a few times before I got what it was going for. Liked the art. Liked the bonsai metaphor. And of course I Respect the decision to use the 1300s (1200s? I don't remember off the top of my head) rather than using the last 200 years.

7 Strong Medicine

Honestly looking back, this one made me kind of sad because both this one and Bonsai Shokunin explored character's ideas on Fate and The Divine and how that intersects with immortality and I totally thought that theme would be continued, especially with Love Letters. But Then It Wasn't™.

Admittedly.... I had to re-read this one to remember most of it. I liked Booker's ideas on God, 'The conductor of the symphony just may not be very good at his trade' but the plot itself was kind of forgettable. Some fuckin cowboys try to kill a doctor (their second) because he couldn't save their sickly brother. Book tries to stop them, gets killed, and then comes back and kills them all before they get the doctor. Alright. I liked the artstyle because the characters were ugly in a similar way that leandro's are, but way more bearable.

I love the Irony of Booker concluding that there is no such thing as fate or destiny and nothing has meaning, AS HE UNKNOWINGLY SAVES MERRICK'S GRANDFATHER FROM BEING KILLED. Booker getting fucked over by life/god/destiny yet again. It also kind of explains about where the fuck hell Merrick's interest in immortal mercenaries even came from.

I originally had this one a lot higher and then I thought about it and moved it down like two spots.

8 Never Gets Old

I liked seeing Booker interact with his kid. And we got a name for the kid! Philippe was a little bitch though, he was a little obnoxious. I liked how Booker was so thrilled to experience a restaurant with his kid (and since we know he was there before, it can be assumed he went with all of his kids and yet he was so charmed each time). It fits with his line to Nicky in the moon landing story about how you don't appreciate beautiful things 'unless you have someone to share them with'. It was charming to see Booker interact with his kid, and to see him so happy. Also lmao @ Booker's big fat Ye Olde Crush on Andy.

However at the same time it was like.. of all the things to write about,,, I guess? Booker's Night Out...... alright. Especially since Book had so many stories.

I don't know, it was alright. The old man killing him really came out of nowhere, (but the 'Salut, asshole!' panel was funny tho).

9 How To Make a Ghost Town

I've hit a point where talking about these stories has gotten less fun. I liked this one but I felt like Achilles getting lynched was not really necessary for a story that was already tragic (a story that already involved Achilles doing a lot of suffering at the hand of bigots). When we first got the blurb for this story I thought it would be about Andy returning to the squad and making friends with Booker after losing Achilles and them butting heads on the idea of family and when to cut off ties. So a little bit of my underwhelmedness about this one might be just my expectations being different.

Honestly I was pretty interested in Andy and Achilles' relationship and I would've liked to see more of them-- like, what was their dynamic like? What did they love about each other?

But anyways Andy leaving and Achilles getting killed anyways feels so pointlessly tragic (which I suppose is the point..... I don't like tragedies) she left to save him and yet people killed him anyway. Meh.

I did love the bits about Andy wanting to have a domestic life (Andy and her multitudes again) and the little detail about how she buried her axe near the road but he buried his guns under his bed-- he was an escaped slave, he never had the luxury of assuredness like Andy did. It was a sad story.

10 Lacus Solitudinis

'You put this one above love letters crim??? how could you???' easy, lmao.

There was stuff in this one I liked. But to talk about stuff I didn't like: (I'll keep it brief, I know ragging on this story has been done time and time again)

UH, setting aside the 6 year cold shoulder between Joe and Nicky, I thought their chosen method of conflict resolution was... bad at best. Nicky's inability to talk about his feelings was also annoying, especially since the entire point of this story is a fight Joe and Nicky had, and yet we don't get both sides to the story, which is...... important? That fact is especially annoying bc in the absence of Nicky explaining his side of the story, it's absolutely a possible (and admittedly probably unintentional) interpretation of the text that we do get that Joe routinely resolves conflict between him and Nicky by simply cutting Nicky out of his life entirely until Nicky just. caves? Even if it takes years?

WHICH i could get into that interpretation and how fucked up i find it. but im not going to. out of restraint.

I don't know, I think there are a lot of interesting ways to go about this conflict but 'Nicky wants to kill a guy and Joe refuses to acknowledge his existence until he stops because he thinks Nicky is too much of a Good Boy to get his hands dirty like that' ('I wont watch as the world turns his (...) compassion into something ugly'. ) wasn't.. how I would've done it. (I mean you know Joe doesn't give a shit about what Nicky is doing in a moral way, because Joe doesn't even care or mention that Booker is killing those cops too. Joe only cares because he doesn't like the idea of Nicky changing in a way he finds undesirable.)

admittedly I've said before, I do like the emphasis Joe's reaction puts on Nicky's kindness. Joe has a complete inability to cope with Nicky simply Not Being Kind. It speaks to the steadiness of Nicky's compassion all those years. but still that fact doesn't make it the conflict feel worth it

hm. I said I would be brief and I wasn't.

oh well. basically I thought there was interesting conflict potential there but it wasn't done the way I would've liked, and the way it was done leaves a lot of disturbing (and again probably unintended) interpretations to lie.

What I did like? Andy and Joe having that pessimist/optimist dynamic. Joe nerding out about science. Andy not being impressed by The Achievements Of Man. I loved Booker needling at Nicky about his outdated slang and also trying to give him Older Brother advice practically in the same breath. I loved Booker giving The Worst relationship advice ever and Nicky being like 'I Will Not Do That, Ever, Thanks.' the family vibes were so good. The Joenicky vibes left a lot to be desired tho.

11 Love Letters

I talked about my problems with Nicky in this story (and Lacus Solitudinis). I don't know, the story isn't bad but I do hold a little bit of a grudge towards it because its very existence begs the existence of a solo Joe story and we didn't get one. If we never got this story, then we could happily count Lacus Solitudinis and Zanzibar as The Joenicky Stories™ and move on with our lives. sigh.

I remember when we first got the blurb for this story I was really curious about why Nicky specifically + the setting, and the answer kind of feels like 'the author had an idea for a story like this and saw ttt as a good enough place to utilize that idea'. Plus I was really underwhelmed by the Romantic Sentiment in the letter. If you look at it line-by-line, the majority of the letter is actually Nicky talking about how lonely and disturbed he is, rather than actual,, yknow,,, Romantic Sentiment. I mean, compare the van speech and this letter and this letter is just kind of meh in comparison. I liked nicky calling joe wise! and I liked the brief sun/moon metaphor! and otherwise it was eh. It didn't even have cute squad banter, which is why Lacus Solitudinis is above this one.

12 An Old Soul

Nun orgy. Nun orgy?????? Nun orgy.......

The whole story felt like a setup to have a nun orgy. Why did Booker have abs? Why did they do that to Andy's nose? ?????? the art was good at least.

nun orgy.

[suganovakawa]

Hello I wanna say that I love ur work 🥺 I’m new to the haikyuu fandom and ur work gives me life! Can I request a HC with Tanaka, Daichi, Suga & asahi and how they would react when they see other teams at a tournament flirt with you and how they act when they’re jealous? Thank you !

absolutely omg i love my karasuno babies and them being jEALOUS??? this is my calling goodBYE

btw btw welcome to the hq fandom bby !! enjoy your stay here 🥺💞💘💓

𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐎𝐅𝐅 !

karasuno boys fend off other teams as they try to flirt with you !

— check out my masterlist !!

these boys don’t take too kindly to other teams trying to flirt with you . . . and they’re not gonna deal with it for much longer ! >:)

a / n : jealous anything >>>> and you cannot change my mind because it’s my weakness k thx bye 🥰

— ask to be added to my taglist !!

taglist : @yams046 @janellion

ryuunosuke tanaka

lmao flirting w you is like asking for a death sentence i do not make the rules

tanaka is not afraid to show you off , nor is he afraid to show off your guys’ relationship at tournaments either

he has full trust in you dw , but that doesn’t mean he trusts the men that get a little too close for comfort

if his death glare alone doesn’t scare them off i feel so sorry for them

ryu will 100% call someone out if they’re obviously flirting with you

“ hey , punk ??? you’re trying to flirt with them , huh ??? gotta tell ya , you’re out of luck , go find someone else . this hot stuff right here is mine , thank you very much . ”

he gets so confused when you get embarrassed because what ??? he’s just telling them the truth

“ ryu ! you can’t just call me ‘ hot stuff ’ in the middle of the gym !! ”

“ why not , baby ? you are hot stuff ! they’re just bummed out you’re not theirs . ”

not to mention , 8 times out of 10 noya will probably be right there with tanaka scaring off the suitors

those two are literally your bodyguards , and once they know that someone else has their sights set on you , do not expect them to leave your side

also , he holds a FULL GRUDGE against ladies men type people

cough cough tooru i’m talking bout u bby

you are to stay a mile away from oikawa and all of aoba johsai at all times , ryu will not accept otherwise

oh , and terushima ??? YEAH HES NOT EVEN GONNA LAY EYES ON YOU ONCE LMAO

at least , not without tanaka’s arm wrapped around your waist

gotta make sure they understand you ain’t on the market

all in all a very protective baby crow , can and will fight anyone who tries flirting with you so pls don’t test him

daichi sawamura

daichi is definitely the silent but deadly type let me assure you

i don’t care where that man is , he’ll always have an eye on you regardless

oh and he’ll probably have the rest of his team have their eyes on you too ; just in case there is a small instance where he can’t keep his eyes on you

yuu , ryu , and shoyo will be paying the most attention to you when the captain is not able to watch over you at the tournaments

lord have mercy to those who somehow actually get past daichi’s security

my best guess is that you’re probably on like , a water bottle run in between games , so that everyone can have fresh cold water during timeouts n whatnot

yeah you’ll probably get hit on by another guy in the halls ( let’s pretend it’s yuuji because i love him so much LMAO pls hit on me teru )

anyway he’ll def be at your neck like how he was tryna get kiyoko’s number

sadly you can’t do much because you have a bunch of water bottles in your hands so you’re just tryna shimmy away but terushima is not having it

out of nowhere his face blanks

literally pales

you’re about to ask him what that’s about until you feel an arm snake around your waist

like i said , the silent but deadly type

you can’t see daichi’s face as he’s staring down yuuji , but you can hear the annoyance in his voice

“ oh there you are , y/n . you need help carrying these water bottles , baby ? ”

you turn to yuuji , who has his hands up — clearly getting the message daichi was giving to him

“ alright alright , my bad ~ ! didn’t know they were yours , man . i’ll take my leave . ”

but he did add a “ see you later cutie ” before leaving the two of you alone

you couldn’t help but laugh as the captain latched onto you protectively as the two of you went back to the gym

“ daichi , it’s okay , he’s gone now ! you’ve done your job in saving me ”

“ nonsense . i can sense their eyes on you from everywhere . you’re not leaving my sight again , y/n . ”

koushi sugawara

koushi is definitely also a silent jealous type

but he’s more mellow when showing it subtly

but don’t get me wrong , the effect it leaves on others is just as menacing

he’s the type to leave that shiver of fear when he shows up

basically he’s a sweetie until people mess with you and that’s just on periodt

suga is not too protective over you , since he does trust you and has full confidence you won’t do anything to hurt him

cough cough he still wants the other nasty boogers keeping their hands off you though

i literally just imagine him going up to people like “ :))))) ??? ” when people try flirting with you LMAO

like ?? no ??? they’re ??? mine ????

not ???????? yours ??????

he’ll have that chilling ring in his voice that’s deadpan but menacing at the same time — sometimes he even scares you with it

you had a run in with tooru at the preliminaries , RIP bless his soul

you went to go watch a match while karasuno was resting ; seijoh was resting at the same time

he got a little too close for comfort in the audience stand

flashed you a famous smile of his , “ what’s a cutie like you doing here alone ? ”

“ she’s not alone , actually . ”

KFKKDKFKFKD both of your heads went a whole 180 at the sound of koushi’s voice

oh no he had that creepy smile again

“ baby , we were just looking for you . is oikawa bothering you ? ”

he turned his :) to tooru , who had already stepped a decent distance away from you

“ heaven forbid you’d be bothering y/n , oikawa , when you have a whole fanbase of girls you could be bothering instead . ”

the great king had never been so scared of a karasuno player in his life

he left in a hurry without saying much — though he was grumbling something you two couldn’t understand

switch from scary suga to soft suga uwu

he wrapped his arms around you and grinned pleasantly this time as he hugged you

“ sweetheart , don’t hesitate to tell me if anyone else is like that to you , okay ? i’ll make them go away . ”

“ koushi , you’re so scary when you’re angry ”

“ i am ? i didn’t think i was ”

“ look at how oikawa backed away when you came up ! hardly anyone can phase him ”

“ oh . maybe i am scary , but only when it comes to you . ”

he laughed and took you by the hand , and you two walked back to the rest of the team

scary suga never fails to keep the nasty boogers away

asahi azumane

he won’t even realize he’s jealous until someone points it out to him

i think nishi would be the one to point it out to him , because woah asahi looks mad

“ yo , asahi ? you good ? your knuckles are turning white ! ”

he’s been looking your direction ever since the date tech players started surrounding you , striking up conversation

he didn’t even realize yuu was talking to him until he literally had to jump up and wave in his face

asahi snapped out of it once noya caught his attention — his fists were still clenched tho

“ oh — noya . i’m fine , why ? ”

the libero didn’t buy it one bit because he didn’t know the ace even had it in him to be angry

he looked to where asahi had his eyes on the whole time before turning back to the third year with a smirk

“ you’re gonna let them just flirt with y/n like that ? what kind of boyfriend are you ? go go go ! ”

oh no yuu what did you do

“ they’re flirting with y/n ? ”

he was f u r i o u s at the thought of it

oh no no no they were not going to be flirting with you , not while asahi was your boyfriend no sir

he stormed over towards you — your back was towards karasuno so the date tech players noticed him first

asahi + scary dark death glare = run

and the date tech players — besides aone — did just that , scampering off in a hurry

you were confused until you turned around , smiling when you saw your giant teddy bear of a boyfriend

you were utterly oblivious to the stare down between him and aone

“ asahi ! shouldn’t you be practicing now ? ”

he placed a gentle but firm arm around your waist , pulling you closer to him without taking his eyes off date tech’s ace

“ yeah , but we were looking for you . i’ve come to bring you back , y/n . ”

oh heck yeah there was tension as he brought you back to your guys’ court

“ those players weren’t flirting with you , were they y/n ? ”

“ huh ? oh no ! i was just catching up with a couple of them , since i went to middle school with some of them . why ? ”

“ oh , nothing ”

you couldn’t even ask him anything else as he walked away without another word , which was very not like him

you had to get the answer from nishinoya later on , who was laughing hysterically at your description of the way your boyfriend was acting

“ OMG Y/N HE REALLY WAS JEALOUS , I TOLD HIM THAT DATE TECH WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU I CANT BELIEVE HE BELIEVED ME ”

after the tournament both of you were blubbering apologies to each other

you apologizing for making asahi jealous

and asahi apologizing for acting like a brat about it

in summary , asahi + jealousy = pls save yourself from that man he is terrifying

he’ll make it up to you with tons n tons of cuddles later so he’s still your big teddy bear <3

[guessmonsta]

YOUR BOKUTO + KUROO WINGMAN FIC WAS SO FUNNY!!!! I was literally laughing the whole way through. The way you write is so funny and wholesome I can't get enough of it. If it's possible, can you please please please do a part two to the Bokuto fic? I just wanna see him fall in love, that's all. Thank you so much!

If you read ANY of my college AU fics involving Bokuto, Kuroo, or Tendou, you know that I made them all friends. They need to be friends, I don’t even care what you say or what you believe. Tendou was cheated from being in the third gym, period. He’s stupid and lovely and has stupid crazy hair and would be best friends with Kuroo and Bokuto instantly. Also this is stupid long, and for what? And for what? I’ll probably end up doing part three too??? And that's being a slut for Bokuto. 

Also here’s part one 

Bokuto stared blankly at his phone screen, almost expecting something to happen without him putting the work in. 

Her contact stared back at him, reading, “__”, with a bunch of heart emojis after her name. He would never admit that he put the hearts there himself, though. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to gain out of just staring at her phone number, his phone wasn’t going to text her itself. To be honest, Bokuto hadn’t created a mental plan past talking to her in the cafe that Saturday,and he sure as hell never expected her to give him her number. He wasn’t even sure how long he was supposed to wait before he texted her. It was Monday morning, had he waited too long? Did she forget about him all together? Does she even want him to text her? 

Bokuto shook his head and sighed, then set his phone face flat on the dining hall table. His friend, Satori, looked up at him, and cocked an eyebrow. 

“Somebody’s got his panties in a twist today.” Satori hummed, setting his own phone down in the same fashion. 

“You think I wear panties?” 

Satori stared at him dumbfounded, then scrunched his face. Choosing to ignore it, he took a jab at his fruit salad, then chuckled. 

“Is it that girl?” 

“Wait, how do you know?” 

“You say this as if Kuroo didn’t post a three minute long video to his snapchat story about spitting up iced coffee everywhere in public.” Satori laughed. 

“Drama queen.” Bokuto sighed. “I just really don’t know how to talk to girls.” 

“You?” Satori cocked his eyebrow again. “You don’t know how to talk to girls?”

“Nope.” 

“Damn.” Satori chuckled again. “See, I was under the notion that you were a popular Pretty Boy in high school. I mean, look at you,” Satori’s eyes scanned Bokuto up and down, then he winked. “You’re like the universal standard for male attractiveness.” 

“I mean, I guess, but,” Bokuto sighed. Getting dejected over nothing wasn’t his plan for this morning, but Satori knew how to handle it. “When I was in high school I never really put a lot of thought into dating girls. Like yeah, I had a couple girlfriends here and there, but, like, volleyball was my real girl, you know?” 

Satori shot Bokuto a stank face, then shook his head. 

“You mean to tell me in high school, in your prime, you could have gotten any girl you wanted and you were the asshole who turned girls down because volleyball came first? Wo-ow, what a problem you have.”

“I know! I know. Now that’s my problem. If I had paid more attention to my relationships in high school then maybe texting this girl wouldn’t be so hard.” Bokuto shrugged. Maybe Satori didn’t know how to handle it all that well, because all he could offer was a confused stank face. 

“Listen, you and I both know that you’re hot. If she gave you her number, then she’s obviously into you. Just shoot you shot.” 

“But I don’t play basketball, Satori!” Bokuto groaned. “And what am I even supposed to say? “Hey remember those two idiots who came in and spit up everywhere? Hi!” 

“Yes! Literally that’s exactly what you should say!” 

“But should I?” 

“God have mercy! You’re hopeless!” Satori sighed dramatically, then flinged a grape off of his plastic fork at Bokuto’s face. Bokuto winced, then ate the grape to spite him. “Oh, and you better get moving, your practice starts in ten minu-utes.” 

Bokuto looked back at his phone, and realized it was 9:50. If he had texted __ now, he would be thinking about her replying all throughout practice. If he had waited to text her until later, he would be thinking about what to say the entire time anyway. It was a lose lose situation for silly little Bokuto in love, he realized. He finished his waffles in a hurry, gave Satori a quick, harsh, and unexpected bro-hug, then jogged off to practice. 

By the time practice was over, Bokuto was sweaty, tired, and couldn’t stop thinking about __. He knew that Kuroo had been watching him all throughout practice, especially when he cackled when he missed a very direct hit on the cleanest set he had ever seen. Kuroo took a seat next to him on the bench, wiped his forehead with a rag, then snapped it against Bokuto’s arm. 

“Ow!” Bokuto jumped, grabbing the towel from Kuroo’s hands then wiping it against Kuroo’s ass as he attempted to jump up and run away. Kuroo cackled again, something he seemed to be doing a lot lately. Bokuto’s crush was a free ticket to Comedy Central for Kuroo. 

“Satori texted me and told me you were a pain in the ass at breakfast.” 

“Did he actually?” Bokuto whined. 

“No.” Kuroo chucked. “But he didn’t have to tell me you were having a crisis for me to know that you’re having a crisis.” 

“You know me that well, bro?” 

“Always, bro.” Kuroo held one hand over his heart, then pat Bokuto on the back. “But you gotta text her.” 

“O-okay, o-okay fi-ine.” Bokuto sighed. “What do I even say?” 

“Listen, just because I’m charming and handsome doesn’t mean that I can carry your entire relationship for you and that lovely little barista.” Kuroo shrugged. “Just be yourself. She obviously likes you.” 

Bokuto whipped his phone out of his pocket, and it automatically opened to __’s contact. Kuroo’s cheeks puffed up into a laugh, then he wheezed, again. Maybe Bokuto had to stop being so obvious. 

Bokuto clicked the message icon, and quickly, without even thinking, typed- 

Hey __! It’s Owlboy Sexyman from the cafe Saturday. How are you!

And he sent it. Without a second thought. He sighed, then set his phone down on the bench. 

Before Kuroo could even ask him what he sent, he heard his phone chime. Bokuto gasped, then Kuroo gasped, and Bokuto leaped for his phone. 

Hey Bokuto! 

I was starting to think you didn’t see my number on the cup lmao 

“She remembers my name!” Bokuto beamed. “She remembers my name, Kuroo! Oh my god!” 

Bokuto jumped up from the bench, and turned his screen to Kuroo. 

“Oh my god, dude, stop, stop, I can’t read the message, you’re jumping too much.” Kuroo laughed. “What did she say!” 

Bokuto tossed his phone at Kuroo, then clapped his hands together into a praying motion. 

Kuroo read the messages, then cocked an eyebrow. 

“Du-ude.”

“Du-ude!” Bokuto couldn’t stop beaming.

“Bokuto, where the hell was this energy during practice!” An older teammate shouted at him, then laughed. Bokuto ignored this statement completely. Once he got the ball moving, it was going to keep its momentum. 

Later at his dorm, Bokuto sat on his bed with his phone in his hands. He felt like he looked like his little sister. She used to spend all day in her room snapchatting boys and trying to find the perfect lighting to take pictures of herself. He never really understood it, but as he was sitting here waiting for a text back from __, he felt that same energy. 

He had never really liked a girl this much ever before in his life. He wasn’t even sure what it was. What went from a small admiration over how beautiful and sweet she looked behind the counter at the cafe turned into a full blown admiration after his minute long conversation with her. Everything about her was just so cool, so collected, she made him feel the same way volleyball made him feel, how he felt when he saw a cute dog when he was out on a jog. She was the first day of summer and waking up on Christmas morning. He could feel his excitement for her vibrate all the way to his fingertips. 

You remembered my name! 

Of course I do! You and your friend literally made my entire day on Saturday, haha. 

I went back to my dorm and told my roommates the whole story lmao

Do you go to Todai? 

Yeah! I’m in my first year. What about you? 

Me too! 

Sucks I’ve never seen you around. 

Todai is so big I feel like if you see somebody once you never see them again. 

I’ll keep a look out for you tho ;) 

Where do you dorm? 

I’m in Komaba on the 20th floor :( 

I love the view but some days the elevators are full so I have to take the stairs and it’s terrible 

I’m at Komaba too! 

But on the fourth floor haha 

I guess it’s a nice workout though 

I haven’t been doing much exercise since volleyball ended in high school 

Do you still play? 

Yeah, Kuroo and I are on the schools team 

Oh

Kuroo is the guy who spit everywhere 

Kuroo’s a legend

I thank him for his service 

And that's seriously super cool. I wasn’t good enough to play for college, haha. 

I miss it though

Well, if you were busy playing volleyball, you wouldn’t have anytime to be the cutest barista ever 

As soon as Bokuto sent the message, he regretted it. Was that really all he had to say to her?

Omg, awh, don’t flatter me

We should meet up! What are you up to right now? 

Bokuto felt his face flush a thousand degrees. He had no idea how to contain his excitement around her, let alone his obvious crush. A small giggle escaped him as he typed back. 

I’m honestly doing nothing but texting you in my dorm right now. 

Me too, haha

We should go get food or something together! 

My next class isn’t till 3

Before Bokuto could even ask her what her room number was, he found himself running up sixteen flights of stairs to meet her. Where this sudden adrenaline came from, he had no idea, and if any of the older guys on the team saw him, they would tease him more about not using this energy in practice. Once he reached the twentieth floor, he was breathless. The whole thing gave him flashbacks to running to meet Kuroo a couple days before. All he wanted right now was to see her. 

He looked down at his phone, then typed a quick, 

What's your dorm number? 

I’m in room 2016 :) 

Two seconds later, Bokuto found himself standing in front of the door, and knocking lightly. He heard something crash from the inside, and a small string of mumbled curses. When the door opened up in front of him, his heart skipped three beats when his eyes met hers. 

She was significantly shorter than him, by a foot, if he was guessing right. Her hair was down and cascaded over her shoulders, something he hadn’t seen before. Somehow, she was even prettier with her hair down than she was worth it pulled back for work. Pretty __ eyes blinked once, twice, and a small, confused smile parted into a laugh. 

“How the hell did you get up here this quick?” She chuckled, motioning for him to step inside the dorm. “Are you secretly superman and you’re not telling me?” 

“If I told you I ran up here before I asked for your room number, would that be weird?” He sighed. He was still a little bit breathless, but the last thing he wanted was to lose his composure. She took a seat on her desk chair, and spun herself around in a circle before stopping and shaking her head. 

“Nah, I’ll take it. I don’t like superman anyway. Now, if you had said Thor, that’s a different story.” She giggled. “You didn’t have to sprint up here you know. I could’ve met you in the dining hall.” 

Bokuto honestly hadn’t even realized that was an option, even though it was much more realistic. He hadn’t even realized he was standing in the prettiest girl in the world’s bedroom until his eyes met hers again. 

Oh god, and she was so pretty. He could hear Kuroo and Satori mocking him in the back of his head as he stared at her pushing herself into another circle in her desk chair. 

“I know I didn’t have to.” He said, his voice almost cracking. “But I figured you’d like it.” Smooth recovery. 

“Honestly?” She shrugged, “I can’t say somebody has ever ran up sixteen flights of stairs for me, so yeah. I take it as an honor” 

__ then stood up, then led Bokuto out of her dorm. 

“We can take the elevator down this time.” 

“Thank god.” Bokuto sighed. “No offense, but 32 flights of stairs isn’t worth it for anyone.” 

“Hey, I get it. Three flights of stairs isn’t worth it for me, so you’re already breaking a record.” 

At the dining hall, they just talked about little things. Where they went to high school, what they were majoring in, their favorite animal, which both happened to be dogs, and what type of dogs they liked. They shared funny stories from high school, like the time Kuroo accidentally swallowed a beetle at training camp, and she told a shocking story about the “accident” at her own school. He was so interested in talking to her that he forgot that he was supposed to be eating, and he never forgets about that. 

Their relationship was obviously flirtatious, but Bokuto couldn’t tell if she was flirting with him in the way Kuroo flirted with people, or in a way where she actually liked him. In bed that night, the last thing he thought about was her sitting across from him in the dining hall, and he had a feeling his mind would replay her face for a while.

[ain-t-bovvered]

15X01

bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies​  (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon​  (Kat)  

@waywardbaby​  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

Giulia: I HATE THIS

Giulia: BTW

Giulia: IF ANYONE WAS CURIOUS

Kat: Don’t worry you’ll hate it more later

Giulia: GREAT

Zee: Quit flapping your gums bitches

Nat : shall I count?

Giulia: Go when u post 🖕🏻

Nat : lol

Zee: Nice

Nat : i just go with GO

Giulia: Weak

Nat : ok

Nat : listen

Nat : 3

Nat : 2

Nat : 1

Nat : GO

Giulia: GREAT MUSIC

AH Y’ALL DON’T LISTEN TO THE LYRICS OF THIS SONG

Zee: Where’s carry on ?

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Think of seasons that must end ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ 

Nat : I DON'T REMEMBER HALF OF WHAT THEY SHOW NOW.  It's erased from my memory

Giulia: look at my stupid baby

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ They will rise and fall again ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ 

Giulia: Oh look the dumb coffin

Nat : "I do believe in us."

Zee: John

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Everything must have an end ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

Giulia: I DIDN T NEED JOHN AGAIN

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Take it calmly and serene ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

BITCH HOW

Giulia: bye mary.Good riddance

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ It's the famous final scene ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

Zee: Maybe I should watch on mute

Kat: Shut up chuck

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ It's been coming on so long You were just the last to know ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

Zee: The fuck is this song ?

It's been a long time since you've smiled

Giulia: IDK I HATE IT

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Seems like oh so long ago Now the stage has all been set ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

Giulia: bb Sob ....Them hair on fleek tho

Nat : What are the odds

Zee: BAMF Cas

Giulia: Idk seems so desperate

Kat: Always

Nat : So much grunting. So sexy

Giulia: AWE

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Now the lines have all been read And you knew them all by heart ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

Kat: SAM

Kat: DEAN

Zee: He took jack

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Here it comes the hardest part Try the handle of the road ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

Kat: over the shoulder like a sack of potatoes

ok I now it’s a serious moment but Dean skipping with his birb bowlegs is making me cackle so much i cannot

LOOK AT HIM ....*SNORTS*

oh look another meme

Giulia: Sam just casually shoving a ghost out of the way

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ As the light fades from the screen From the famous final scene ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

Zee: Ok

Zee: I hate it

Giulia: OH THAT TITLE CARD

Nat : Ah great title card

ok but ....* slows down frames and saves some of them* WHAT’S THIS

Whatever let’s just go back to more pressing matters

Lol that is so not Misha carrying Jack tho

Giulia: Misha’s fingers be that thick

Zee: Focus

Giulia: Lol dean reaching for that booze, I mean SAME.

Nat : AW CAS

Giulia: Awe SAM

Zee: Sam panting

D: He didn’t deserve this

Kat: Aw

S: Cass, is he here? C- C-Can you... Can you...?

Giulia: SAM 

Nat : "I don't think so"

Nat : I cry

Giulia: I CRY

Giulia: Sam’s pain is physical

Giulia: I cannot

I mean,...they do look like zombies. 

D: Chuck... He said, "Welcome to the End”.  What... What does that mean?

Zee: Welcome to the end

D: Cass? Come on, man! Ideas!

Team free Stress

Giulia: It means final season

D: Can you smite our way out of here?

Zee: Cas squint

C: No. You saw them. I would be overwhelmed, Dean.

Well I honestly thought Dean actually asked if Cas could fly them off there....which...well don’t think it can happen if the state of his wings are the same, BUT STILL, we don’t actually know becasue PLOTHOLES. But whatever man, I still love my show.

D: Great. So we go outside, we get ripped apart. We stay in here, w- what, starve to death?!

C: I wouldn’t starve

Nat : WELL GOOD FOR YOU

Giulia: WeLl gOoD fOr yOu

Kat: Love the sass

D: Son of a bitch

the fandom:  * CHEERS*

Giulia: Sure he knew

D: He's always so squirrelly, you know, with the...with the... the robe and the beard and...the smile that's, like, half-nice, half "I'm gonna rip your throat out. "

Giulia: Oh that true

Nat : Aw Dean

Giulia: AHAHAHA

Giulia: DEAN’s SALTY AF

Nat : Me

Zee: Those fingers tho

Giulia: Why don t they let cas do that, come on

Nat : So much grunting and panting in the first couple of minutes

Nat : I love it

Giulia: Gotta isolate just those

Nat: Cas doesn't want to help

Giulia: Nice

Nat : AH well

Zee: Hello

Giulia: …

Giulia: WELL HELLO GOOD MORNING TO ME

Nat : Now he did

a wild Jack appears

Nat : Ah

Zee: What?

Nat : what

Kat: Hahahahahaha

Giulia: JESUS CHRIST

Nat : IN THE HELL

Giulia: the fuck

Kat: Demon!Jack

Giulia: OH COME ON

Nat : AW DEMON JACK

d!Jack: HELLO

S: Jack! you are alive

oh Sam...baby

Zee: Shut up

d!Jack: I- I'd do the whole eyes thing, but, uh, yeah, no eyes.

Nat : WITH SASS

Team free confused

Zee: Blending

Kat: Weekend at Bernie’s haha

Giulia: SO GOOD THO

Nat : Nice glasses

C: Get out of him

Zee: What he said

d!Jack : Okay? Uh, where do I start? Like at the first day of school. Uh, hi.Uh, my name is Belphegor. And, I'm, uh, here from...

Angry Cass approaching

C: i said get out of him. I’m not gonna ask again

me: 

D: Cass. Let him speak.

C: He's an abomination!

Giulia: AWE CAS

Nat : Cas is having none of it

B: You're an abomination with that stupid, dumb trench coat.

Kat: You’re an abomination with that trenchcoat 🤣

Zee: I love Cas

Giulia: but also love Alex

Giulia: STUPID DUMB TRENCHCOAT

Zee: Listen to your husband Cas

C: He is defiling Jack's corpse!

D: But if he can help... [angrily] Jack's gone, alright?

Giulia: STOP IT DEAN

Giulia: sob

S: So we are...

B: The Winchesters

Nat : "I read the papers" lol

B: Anyway, I'm guessing this whole, uh, Hellmouth thing is kind of, uh, you?

i MEAN HE’S NOT WRONG

C: No. It was God.

B: Okay, okay. Look. I-I'm not some crossroad demon. I'm not even one of those black-eyed goons

Giulia: Who the fuck are u

Nat : Virgin puppies  EW

Nat : TwinSiEs

Nat : snorts

Giulia: We are NOT twinsies

Cas is ready to slap a bitch

Giulia: So strange seeing jack like that tho

Nat : But so good

Zee: He be good

B: Ohh. Little spell. You know, nothing major. Just need some graveyard dirt... and some, uh, angel blood.

Giulia: Yeah, of course, let s use cas again

*Snort* .... he’s so offeded

WHAT A MOOD

Nat : what

Giulia: What he do

Nat : WHAT

Giulia: Really

Nat : who is that

Nat: HOW

Giulia: Oh come on

Giulia: I DONT TRUST THIS

Nat : ME NEITHER HIGH FIVE

Giulia: TOO EASY

B: Hey it worked! High five

Giulia: WHAT

Nat : I'LL PUNCH YOU

Well I wouldn’t want to be the graveyard guys in the morning

Nat : Ah that music

Zee: Future deaths

Nat : Ah bloody mary

Giulia: “oH mY gOd” Who still does that anyway

Nat : Bloody Mary messes with cellphones now

Giulia: A bitch gotta get on with the future

Giulia: Those nails be nasty

Nat : Mhh...  She's more evil than before I would guess

B: I mean, come on. I look good.

Giulia: That cas squint

Giulia: Yeah Cas does not like

Nat : Cas is suspicious

Nat : They act like they're surprised about 2-3billion souls in hell

Kat: I was surprised the number was that low

B: Imagine a salt circle a mile wide No ghosts get in, no ghosts get out.

S: Yeah. Great. Okay.

C: NO. That town... Harlan, Kansas...is less than a mile from the cemetery.

D: Then we get everybody out.

C: How?

D: WE LIE

Giulia: what else is nee

Giulia: Nee

Giulia: New

Nat : lol

Zee: New

Nat : Nee

Giulia: Great Another typo that will hunt us all

Giulia: Why this time the blood looks fake af

Nat : That my car

Zee: Woman in white

S: Dean, this could be our woman in white.

D: Dude. We sent her to Hell years ago.

S:Yeah, but she could be back.

Nat : Dean just realized

D: Well, if she's back, then they're all back. Every last one that we ever killed.

Giulia: I also just realized that we are seeing them again. My babies. I hugged those bitches S.  O. B

Nat : Aw bb

Kat: Lucky you

Zee: Giuls bb. Shut the fuck up please

I must say tho....that must have felt really depressing for them...I mean..all their work just ...puff....

Giulia: Fuck clows

Nat : Ah no

Giulia: Fuck them

Nat : Stupid clowns

Giulia: Fuck off

Giulia: Drive the fucking car into the door

Nat : Wouldn't get through.

Kat: No keys

Nat : Not enough space to fully accelerate

Zee: So much science

Giulia: Ugh true

Zee: Wtf is sam’s hair?

D: We can handle the evac, so why don't you grab Crowley Jr. here whatever he needs for his spell?

C: NO

D: 

Well he didn’t expect that 

C: Dean, I can't. I-I...I can't even look at him.

Giulia: AWE CAS

Nat : Aw Cas

Giulia: AWE AWEEEEEE

Giulia: IM HURT.IM BADLY HURT

C: Um... I...

Awe I think even Dean expected that reaction from Cas. I’m so hurt y’all....so hurt.

WHAT ARE THOSE ROLLING EYES DEAN JFC

Giulia: that sheriff a bit out of it

Kat: Small town. Probably doesn’t have to do much

Nat : Jack probably has his own agenda. "Jack"

Giulia: Yeah

Belphy seeing the gun with that ridiculous nerd name: um....what’s that?

D: Don’t worry about it

B: ok cool

B: So, people are, like, crazy good-looking now, eh?

D: what

B: I mean, the last time I was on Earth, I mean, I was human. Ah, it was a while ago. I mean, but, you know, we were all worshipping308 this giant rock that looked like a huge penis, and...

Giulia: Wait what

Kat: Huge penis rock

Giulia: thank you

B: Anyway, folks back then, they were, uh, ugly. You know? Had a lot of humps. I mean, a lot.

B:  Look at 'em now.

D: 

B:I mean, look at you . I mean, you're, uh, you know, gorgeous

Giulia: HE IS

ALL OF US : WE KNOW

Nat : GET THE FUCK IN LINE FAKE JACK

Kat: BEHIND ME

B: So, uh...who was... he, anyway? 

D: He was our kid. Kinda.

Zee: Our kid

Giulia: OMG NO SOB

Nat: I cry

Zee: Shut up dean

Kat: OUR KID

Giulia: IM SO HURT

D: Alright. So, what do you need for this spell?

B: you know, nothing much. Big bag of salt.

D: Easy

B: And a... And a human heart.

Giulia: a human heart

Nat : what else ,easy

Kat: OF COURSE

Giulia: CAS LOOKS YUMMY YUUUUUMMY

Kat: OF COURSE

Giulia: LOOK AT HIM

Nat : Giuls people are dying

Giulia: HEWWO

Zee: And thicc

Nat : "insert Kim K gif"

Giulia: WELL AT LEAST THEY HAVE A NICE THING TO LOOK AT

Giulia: Nice thic, tan things

Giulia: With great hair

Giulia: Nice eyes

Giulia: I should focus

Nat : Cas saw?

Zee: Yeah

Giulia: So thic

Kat: Aw poor dead girls

Nat : GIULS FOCUS

Giulia: That shirt is crying for mercy

Giulia: Yeah yeah Sorry

Giulia: *keeps looking at those pecs*

Giulia: NO SAM WITH KIDS IM WEAK

Zee: Sam should stop exhaling like that

Nat : NO

Kat: Jared is 4 times the size of that kid

Giulia: STOP HURTING HIM

Kat: Yeah

Zee: Yeah bitch

Giulia: YAS CAS

Kat: I KNOW

Nat : Did Sam treat his bullet wound tho

Giulia: Probably just patched up

Giulia: angel with a shotgun

I love when Cas take care of Sam...so soft.

Nat : that's not a big bag of salt, Dean

D: Rowena, we need your help, so move your ass. What? No, I'm not...Move your exquisite ass, please.

Zee: Exquisite ass

Kat: EXQUISITE ASS PLEASE

Giulia: MOVE YOUR EXQUISITE ASS

D: Here’s your salt

US: Thanks we have plenty 

B: im a fan

Giulia: NO

Zee: Oh no bitch

Zee: NO

B: Yeah, I-I didn't want to say it in front of the other guys,but when you were in Hell, with Alastair, I, uh... I got a chance to watch you work. And, I mean, the things you did to those people, I mean, it wasn't torture. 

Kat: FUCKING ASSHOLE DEMON

Nat : OH NO

Giulia: BAD CHOICE OF WORDS

Giulia: FUCK

Nat : IT WAS ART

Kat: iT waS ArT

Giulia: Is it bad that I wanna watch that tho

Zee: WATCH WHAT?

Nat : YES

Giulia: DEAN’S “ART”

Zee: Wtf is wrong with you ?

B: And then every door in Hell just sprang open all at once.

D: Wait. Every door? Even the Cage?

Nat : Even the cage

Nat : OH NO

D: And Michael?

B: Well, last I heard, he was just sittin' there. Yeah, but if he got out, I mean... Ugh.

Giulia: Lol ADAM

B: I mean...he wouldn't hold a grudge, right?

Giulia: *SNORTS* SURE

Nat : Ah that looks nasty

Kat: YALL WATCH CAREFULLY COMING UP

Zee: Can I love Cas in this ep?

Giulia: Oh cas can mend shirt too

Nat : SNORTS

Nat : WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Nat : Ah

Giulia: i don t like what is going on

Kat: JUST WATCH

Zee: Fuck

Nat : I HATE THIS KAT

Giulia: WHAT

Nat : AH NO

Giulia: NO

Nat : SHIT WHAT

Kat: I TOLD YOU

Giulia: WHAT WAS THAT

Nat : WHAT IS GOING ON

Nat : EVIL SAM IS IN THAT WOUND

But let us take a blurred , closer, look tho: 

*GASPS*

THAT’S THIC BEARD DEAN

YUM

those are definitely black eyes. 

WHAT IS GOING OOOOOOOOOOON

Giulia: Oh I remember that clock, leave a comment if you do too.

Nat : btw All the ghosts don't look very scary

Kat: All these ghosts look old af

Zee: Them bow legs

Giulia: Look at that strut

Kat: Fresh would be better lol

B: cOOL

Giulia: Zee’s that u

Casually punching a hole into someone chest to rip a heart out

Giulia: Got a heart

Nat : WHAT

Kat: Damn fake Jack

Zee: Get away kid

Nat : YOU DON'T SAY

Nat : GOOD FOR YOU

Giulia: Oh the lake ghost

Giulia: Oh ya RUN BB RUN

Kat: That kid is too calm

Zee: It’s not ok

Giulia: it s noooot

Nat : No, he didn't

Nat : Sam did

Zee: You shot me

Giulia: SNORTSP

Kat: You shot me 🤣🤣

Kat: Bad ghost bad

Giulia: Well that was scary

Nat : Stop hurting Sam

Zee: STOP HURTING SAM

Giulia: OH LOOK I LOVE CAS WITH THE SHOTGUN

Zee: WE BEEN KNEW

Nat : OF COURSE YOU DO

Giulia: AWE HE S SAVING SAM

Nat : The ghosts all look weird af

Giulia: True

Kat: They are 15 years older okay

Giulia: Must be the daylight

Zee: I don’t trust jack

Giulia: well is not jack

Giulia: AWE

Nat : AH HE IS FAST HE HAS LONG LEGS

Giulia: I’m worried about Misha's hip

Zee: Shut up

Giulia: Shut up

Kat: AAAAAHHHHH SHUT UP

Giulia: Good gif to use

Nat : he said it like Stepford Sam

Kat: MMHHMM

Giulia: Right?

Giulia: Listen to that PUR

Kat: SO GOOD

Giulia: the angel thing

Nat : So 4 people fit in the back

Nat : lol

Giulia: GOOD TO KNOW

Nat : Ah, not sexual

Zee: Or two horizontal ones

Kat: Well one is a small child

Giulia: Me and Nat are small child size

Nat : Yes

D:  You okay?

C: Yes, but...

Giulia: UGH

Nat : lol

B: Wow! Awkward WANNA TALK ABOUT IT

Zee: Is that a no?

Nat : LISTEN TO HIM DEAN

Zee: That’s a no

Kat: Ooohhh they so pissed

Giulia: SO PISSED

Giulia: SO TENSE

Nat : SO HOT

Giulia: THEY SHOULD RELAX

Giulia: I JUST HAPPEN TO KNOW HOW

Giulia: what

D: Right now we get you fixed up.

S: what

Nat : I'M FINE

Giulia: Yeah open that shirt

Nat : Do you hear that

Nat : FIIIIIINNNEEEEEEE

D: We've been going nonstop. Let me see it.

D: There's no exit wound.

Giulia: DON T TALK LIKE THAT

Nat : Yeah, sure Jan

D: Hey, do you remember when we were little? What I would do to distract you whenever I'd rip off a Band-Aid or something like that?

S: Yeah. You'd tell some stupid joke.

Kat: Omg such a soft moment

Nat : Aw

Nat : Don't come up with old stories now. I'll cry

D: Come on. Knock, knock.

S: Who's...*HISSING*

D: Still got it

Kat: My boys 😭

Nat : It's Jensen face

The little shit face 

Giulia: Well I don t see white foam

Nat : Are you surprised?

Zee: My god

D: Just when we thought we had a choice. You know, whenever we thought we had free will. We were just rats in a maze. Sure, we could go left. Sure, we could go right. But we were still in the damn maze. Just makes you think, if all of it... you know, everything that we've done...What did it even mean?

S: It meant a lot. We still saved people.

D: Yeah, but what for? You know?  Just so he could throw another End of the World at us and then sit back and chug popcorn?

Giulia: I wanna chug popcorn

Nat : Yeah, ya did Sam

Nat : But I get Dean

Zee: Sam still believes

S: But now he’s gone

Nat : YA THINK

S: He gets bored and... and... and... and pulls the ripcord.I mean, that's what he did with Apocalypse World and... and probably with all of them. He moves on, starts another story. But you know what?

Giulia: GOOD

S: For the first time. It's just us.

Zee: What’s one more apocalypse right?

Giulia: 

“What’s one more apocalypse right?” -shit that SPN fans says

S: When we win this, God's gone There's no one to screw with us. There's no more maze. It's just us. And we're free.

D: So you and me versus every soul in Hell? I like those odds.

D: Well, you know what that means.

S: We got work to do.

Giulia: WHAT

Giulia: ALREADY

Nat : WHAT

Zee: Why is it over ?

Giulia: ...it flew

Kat: Hehehe

Nat : FINISHED?

Nat : EH

Nat : WAIT WAS THAT 40 MINUTES ALREADY

Kat: That end though

Giulia: ...what

Nat : What

Giulia: What happened

Kat: The throwback

Zee: Yeah it was

Giulia: what trip was that

Zee: I just exhaled

Nat : What was that

Giulia: WE VE GOT WORK TO DO

Giulia: That was so fast

Kat: SOBA

Giulia: TRAILER

Nat : I hate them

Zee: Oh come on

Nat : i am watching trailer now

Giulia: EH NOTHING MUCH

Kat: Yeah

Nat : LOL I KNOW AS MUCH AS I DID BEFORE

Kat: WHAT

Nat : WTF

Kat: IT’S OVER

Nat : I am not overly impressed

Nat : Dean didn’t finish his knock knock joke

Nat : I’m sangry

.

Next -----> 15x02  "Raising Hell"

.

.

.SO ...that was our last first episode screening, ever....GREAT.

If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @wayward-angelgirl​  @destiel-honeypie​      @mariekoukie6661​      @dragontamerm​       @closetspngirl​    @rainflowermoon​     @mattiecat​       @bunnybaby121115​  @aliaitee2​    @jacks-word-of-the-day​     @4evamc​       @dammitsammy​     @legendary-destiel​   @winchesterprincessbride​    @destielhoneybee​    @castiellover20   @ravenhg​ @evvvissticante​

[siirkaian]

its about time i actually started designing the antagonists instead of just daydreaming about where the protags occasionally meet them

i dont generally put warnings here but. some talk of suicide below def. worth the heads up............ the read more is just because its Fucking Long tho lmao

this one has actually been slightly fleshed out in my mind? they dont have a name yet, and its hard to know what Rank they are since ive been moving the story away from violence and A Coming War for a few reasons, most recent one being my friends story (tho they dont know about mine) has gone down the route of having a war at the end.. mostly tho i want to explore telling a good and worthwhile story without a focus on just who can beat up the other team better. The main protag Barren, for example, im bringing down the route of using their visions and ability to see inside peoples minds (in cryptic, symbolic landscapes and stuff) to take down people from the inside out, generally by working through their reasoning and traumas and whatnot to enable them to see clearer and with more empowerment........  and then one protag (Kindle) who joins later knows how to fight, and the third protag (Stardust) keeps them out of trouble, but later reveals that, well, spoilers that have already been seen a million times, hes actually one of the gods who fought in the huge war that happened in the past, and when thats revealed its when he has to fight again but......... he avoids it due to carrying the trauma and issues surrounding that war, as well as his own virulent self doubt and self hatred. so. this character to get back to the point? Wouldve been like a general or something, but im not sure how far I want to take them away from that, maybe to being a high priestex or something? the gods are supremely important to the story, and, spoilers, the main goal of the main antagonist is to bring back the original creator deity of the world, Siirka

I actually have a lot of appreciation for this particular antagonist character, they werent involved with Barren’s mistreatment when Barren was raised in their city by their masters so..... Theyre very much blinded to whats going on, I guess when youre raised in a city which glorifies what the leaders are doing and you get the chance to work for them, and you havent seen the depths of their evil youre going to work extra hard and...... push little red flags out of your mind............ They were extremely loyal and fully or. Mostly. on board with everything happening that they were told about, and worked super fuckin hard to get to the rank theyre at, always pushing boundaries and training and improving and grasping for any sort of genuine praise and signs theyre doing good that they can get, wanting to do their absolute best for the cause and. be worth something to someone. it gets very obsessive, especially as doubts and red flags start actually encroaching on their goals

As Barren and co start causing more trouble, this character’s storyline actually develops separate to the protags. Definitely influenced by them and their continuous defying of the antagonists, which doesnt plant seeds in their mind but waters the ones that are there....... They start realising things arent as peachy and golden as everyone was teaching them it was, they realise their betters either dont really know what theyre doing or may have selfish intentions, or, god forbid, intentions that could land everyone in a fucktonne of trouble - basically all the views they were raised on start having major cracks and Plot Holes in them and they have to come to terms with that. They do a lot of inner work struggling both with their crumbling view of reality and with the fight between either breaking it down more or trying to patch it up with lies, the sort of lies that even the person telling them doesnt know are lies. They get more and more frantic, more detached from reality as much as they try to hold on, struggling with their own identity and with dissociation, and with their mental state unravelling under stress and the inversion of what they were taught as right being morally dangerous, and what they were told to hate being morally good, until finally their boss is killed to further the protag’s goals......... before the protagonists can get to him............ by them. and then they end their own life to prevent themselves being tortured and imprisoned by their masters. I had a scene in mind where the protag’s spend a little arc trying to get to him because they need to take him out, and this character knows theyre coming, so the protags finally get to him at night and find him dead with this character standing over him. They get a brief chat before telling the protags to run, that theyll take the blame for it and the protags will get away without being harmed if they go quick enough, and then they step out of the window BUT its very fuckin important that its made clear that theyre left with no choice - or, more importantly, that theyve finally made their own moral choice in life with their own mind and own feelings - that theyre in their right mind/not acting on despair and need to go before theyre captured - both for theirself but also so they cant be interrogated and have no chance to spill that the protags were there. They basically redeem all the bloodshed and indoctrination theyve had a hand in - and oh, i forgot this bit of important context. Because of the whole staying away from violence thing, they do it to redeem themselves, to stop at least their boss spreading anymore shit, partially also to get revenge for all the lies and stuff, but also importantly because they dont want that on the protag’s conscious. They can handle it, and since they intend to die, they will bring it to their own grave. Death happens rarely in the story, because I want it to be as heavy and serious and soul-destroying as it is irl. They do the traumatising act of having to kill someone and live with the blame because theyve already planned out that they’re going to die to avoid capture. 

Im really.......... wary of portraying suicide in Siirkaia but given Stardust is heavily implied to be back from the dead (having the god of death, Mercy’s, black hair which only he has, though for most of the story its ambiguous as to whether hes working for or is Mercy ((its neither they were lovers lmao))) and Barren and Kindle’s mother Inferno also killed herself its............... im just gonna have to cave and realise im gonna need to address it. I mean, the protags already show (as being the grandchildren/children of and a suicide victim) that its a fuckin tragedy not a solution to anything, but, look. the story is intricately tied to my own mental health and thats shit ive dealt with for years so its going in the melting pot baybey! Also. as if i will EVER write this....... but i still want however i portray it to make clear that..... its a fuckin tragedy and honestly Not The Right Choice IMO

Basically, as a character theyre very hardworking, very Very ambitious, slightly obsessive, and i guess Unhinged because oh boy i am just giving out free personal issues to these characters huh. Their story is ideally going to be a bit more fleshed out than the other antags, because theyre meant to be a bit of the protags in that side of the story. Theyre like.... a case study in the complex and not black/white concept of redemption. The Demos, the people of the story, are at their core defined by submission and being led to terrible things. They were all originally created by the terrible god of life and chaos Siirka to be entertainment. Siirka had passed by Earth and took a liking to the pain and suffering of humanity, specifically loving the way they scream, and so built a fake Earth out of his own substance/power (in universe his body and hair) that was an unoriginal almost exact copy of Earth with.... absent details, like all the animal species being just identical copies of one example of each species, in all white, and a submissive race that looked like humans so that he could rule over them..... The Demos have since been taken from Siirka’s reign, since Siirka was banished in a war by Mercy and the trio of Stardust/Moonshine/Midnight (Siirkaia until i change it roughly translating to “Siirka’s absence”/”no Siirka”/etc), but its still central to the story of the world that the Demos are susceptible to being taken advantage of - though strangely they arent Super different to humans - and to being oppressed, since thats what they were made to be............. Like, Cool Backstory Bro, but its central to everything, it represents whats happening now both metaphorically and literally, the race thats susceptible to being betrayed and used is now starting to be betrayed and used again. Cycles of abuse continuing, learning the worth of the spirit, thats all the story of Siirkaia. The protags of the story represent the spreading empowerment, thats what Mercy gave to the Demos, the power to choose, to exist, to create your own path........ And this character represents that right to choose. Theyre a flower beginning to bloom in a garden full of frost. Theyre hope, and hope taking root and being received and acted on, showing that even if your actions just help one person they were worthwhile. Of course other Demos receive that enlightenment, but this character represents the hope in the Demos, but also the “good” in the “evil”, that, while most of the antagonists’ actions are unforgivable at worst and in no way exempt from criticism at best, theres a reason people are driven to do evil things, and theres a lot of corruption of the mind and personality that happens to drive people to those points. People can act in horrible ways, but its always for a reason, whether its their own trauma or not....  Even “I wanted to” has heavy implications of reasons behind it. This character is one of the few that did the work to begin to escape the cycles they were born into and its important they have their part in the story be heard

as much as i want them to be understood by everyone, as a schizotypal person i see that most people............ do not even try to Start understand people they find slightly odd, so making them “understandably mad” as in showing them show some of the Odd traits of being detached from reality/humanity with the reasons those things come about, and, you know, with the appreciation that its not just “ooo crazy random, unpredictable, youll never know what theyll do next!!” its....... actions that just seem different to those who dont do those actions..... Either way, however i push their character in regards to being misunderstood, i really want their end to be understood, or rather. I want them to be understood in the end. Barren can be incredibly empathetic and understanding, id really love for their final moments to be..... mutual? They did what had to be done for things to change and get better, and in the moments where they meet Barren/Kindle/SD, they finally get seen for what they are, they finally get seen as an entity beyond all the lies pushed onto them, a person who was led astray, who had the goodness in their heart and found the strength to multiply it, to try and right their wrongs, who was, although it looks on the outside like they had it all, actually been manipulated and mistreated by their higher ups and used as a pawn so they didnt have to get their hands dirty, they could just pass on the work to someone else. I really want them to, while they cant really be redeemed because of the damage thats been done, have a few moments of actual peace at the end of their story

.............................or maybe they could run away with the main trio lmao but no, that cant........ really happen because of the important dynamics and the personal (as in interpersonal not about me) nature of the protags and also. while i want the Demos to be revived again at the end, they do get swept away into Siirka’s hair when hes brought back through the big boss of the antags, Ka-UrenKa-, oo spoilers. so. i dont really know if i want to kill a protagonist it seems cheap (the main trio survive because they werent made by siirka........... literally a long fuckin story) because. at current, Siirka being brought back happens out of nowhere, and while the audience technically know its coming should they piece together the symbolism of Barren’s visions, its supposed to be unexpected and. idk man. 

anything else? Oh yeah i think they were originally conceptually conceived to Brutus by the Buttress so you fucking KNOW that i couldve skipped ALL this writing just to put that song in but hey. i would say its their theme song but while inspo was taken from theme and lyrics its actually not accurate to their life beyond a few lines?? and also the overall fucking Mood

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Link to my masterlist for earlier chapters or other stuff I've written

His Queen

Part 3

Bri ripped open the letter, amazed it was handwritten and in cursive! Knowing Roman, he had an assistant write it, but she felt a warmth in her chest knowing he’d truly loved her all along.

To My Queen, Briana Godfrey,

(Admit it! That sounds way better than Tucker, have the lawyers change it.)

Oh, and before I get into it, I wrote this myself. No assistants, so fuck you for thinking it.

Bri smiled a sad smile at how they still knew how the other thought.

I have to start off by saying thank you for reading this letter. That means you're at the white tower. I don't deserve you. I've turned into everything I never wanted to become. Everything you made me believe I could escape. You are the light to my darkness and I'm so sorry I disappointed you. I don’t have a lot of time, but I needed a plan in case I fail. You’re the only person I trust with my company, my money, my daughter, my legacy, my heart, all of it. I am an absolute crack head level blood addict, and I couldn’t trust myself when we got overly emotional to keep my head. Because I love you so much, you can make me so upset, and That last fight we got into, I scared myself. I don’t blame you for slapping me, but to hold back from returning the blow, I literally broke my own hand... but this is not what this letter is about.

Peter and my sick half-sister Annie have stolen my daughter. Peter is hell-bent on destroying me because he killed Destiny's trash fiance, and lied about it, so she blamed me and attacked me and I hurt her bad enough to foresee issues with peter, so I broke her neck to avoid problems figuring it was showing her some mercy since she was heartbroken. Annie was there and when I refused to carry on an incestuous relationship with her, she turned on me and told Peter about Destiny. So he came after me and fucking shot me, we fought and I won, but didn't cut his head off so I knew he’d be fine. Well, he calls me and has my kid and won't turn her over, and says he's going to kill me so even though I doubt it, Nadia needs someone to raise her, and if I'm killed it's not my whore of a sister Annie. I need you to find Nadia and take her home and raise her as she deserves. She’s such a sweet baby and she adores you.

Find Shelley and she can help you maybe. She’s in love with this weird old poet and chooses to live at the old steel mill. Calls it Rooster Poop. Can’t make this shit up.

The entire security team is trying to find Nadia, so contact them and see where they’re at with it.

you are the love of my life and I refused to ever say so, even though we both knew it was true. I would bullshit and say it’s cuz I was saving you from myself, but I’m not that fucking noble. You scared me more than anything ever scared me in my life. God, it's great to admit I love you. Like I need to make up a new word for how I feel for you cuz love isn’t strong enough.

there’s a pretty poem I saw that reminded me of you;

I’d still choose you.

In a hundred lifetimes,

in a hundred worlds,

in any version of reality,

I’d find you and I’d choose you.

Even though I knew you were going to break my heart again and again.

I’d still choose you.

It’s crazy how happy I am writing you a letter, even with every aspect of my life in shambles, you’re my light.

You get everything. Fuck all of them. You were right about everything. If I survive this shit, I am winning you back if it takes 100 years and I have to spend every cent. This is literally a reset.

I tried to forget your baby girl but I never could. No amount of drugs, money, blood, or bullshit could ever distract me from the constant ache in my heart for only you. You’re the only pussy I ever wanna see again. I ran thru a fantastic amount of pussy after you left and none of them made me forget you for even a moment. I pictured you or I could not get off. It was pathetic. I hope I get to see you again and rip up this fucking letter.

I looked back over this and there’s a reason I have other people write shit up for me. A few requests to seriously consider:

-->Blitzky should take over for Pryce. Not only is he a genius, he's a good guy. He's a bit soft, so you may have to be the bad guy.

-->Get a new nanny. The current one looks good on paper but she's an idiot.

--> Live in the white tower. It's secure and safe and you can make as many floors as you like home.

--> if an animal killed me, it's Peter and he's still a wolf. He’ll be white. Kill him, cut off his head and burn him up in the incinerator.

--> if Annie comes around at all, kill her. She's very manupulative and acts religious and nice. She's crazy and not to be trusted.

-->try and convince Shelley to live in the mansion and have her little homeless community there. She doesn't care about money but she cares about people, so offer it as a safe haven. Make sure it stays stocked in necessities like toilet paper, soap, cleaning materials, etc and write it all off as a charity contribution. Make the whole endeavor a big tax write off, but don't tell Shelley that part. Just tell her it was my dying wish she had a home.

--> the loser she's with has legal problems. Have the legal department solve them so he's got no reason to desert her.

-->if Peters mom comes sniffing around, don't tell her a damn thing. I doubt she will tho, she's a wanted fugitive.

--> don't trust any gypsies.

--> Nadia is very intelligent. She can read minds, influence dreams, and kill anyone or anything just by looking at them. She's dangerous and shouldn't be allowed around animals or people until she can understand the concept of death and consequences. There's no way to control her, I have found.

--> I promised a homeless man I ate that id pay for his sons school. Anonymously pay for Mathew Shandwicks classes, books and dorm at Penn State for all 4 years. His father traded his life without a single complaint so it's imperative you keep my word.

-->make sure Nadia isn't a spoiled brat like me. Teach her about her mother and her father and all the good things about us. Leave out we were related if you can swing it. Just say we were young and loved each other very much. I enclosed a pack of photos of me and Letha for her.

I wonder what you’re wearing... That reminds me; if I’m really dead, you have to be in mourning at least two years. That means all black suits and dresses that cover you up, black nails, big black hats like you just left a Catalina Yacht Mixer or you’re going to a royal wedding. I even got you black lab coats just in case.Don’t half ass this. It’s important.

Also I want “Fuck you” by the Archives played at my funeral, if it comes to that.

Hopefully, you never see this letter because I got everything fixed here, and went and found you and you ran into my arms and we lived happily ever after, and I have a whole lifetime with you... But just in case...

All my love,

Roman Godfrey

P.s. - since you're a genius, hopefully you can fix me or bring me back. I hope you still love me even 10% as much as I love you, because then nothing can stop us.

Brianna stared at the page as her tears fell on it swirling the ink in designs and spirals. She knew he’d always loved her, but it was bittersweet seeing him finally admit it. She took the photos out of the envelope and looked through them.

Looking through the pictures was heart-wrenching. There had to be a way to fix all this! She tried to remember everything she’d learned about Upirs from that dreadful Russian women and Pryce. Luckily they’d been a bit of an obsession for her that she delved into when Roman pulled his shit. Being obsessed with Upirs had distracted her from obsessing over the real issue.

Just as she started to wonder when Mueller and Edwards would be back, as if by magic, the elevator doors opened. They had brought Dr. Blitzkey with them as well.

“Oh my gosh! You’re alive! I’m so happy to see you’re ok and still here!” Bri said as she ran up and embraced Blitzky. “Where is Roman? I need to see him.”

Blitzky looked at the ground nervously before meeting your eyes. “It’s not fixable.”

“No matter. I just NEED to see him. Please?” She begged.

“Okay. He has several severe traumatic injuries so please prepare yourself for that.”

“What happened to him?”

“Some Type of animal attacked him in the old mansion and pushed him out the upper story window, fracturing his spine and neck which most likely left him paralyzed and vulnerable. His throat and heart were then ripped out.”

“Peter.” Bri said darkly. He was going to pay for his betrayal. She would make sure of that.

“I mean that’s the most logical conclusion but after all Roman did for that little degenerate, ” Blitzky muttered.

Bri nodded solemnly.

“Hate to interrupt your happy little party but we have several forms that need immediate attention, to get this shit show back on the road,” Edwards interjected.

“They’ll have to wait till after I see Roman. You lead the way Blitzkey, you two stay here.” She said firmly stepping into the elevator with the doctor. Both lawyers looked furious but did as they were told since they were honestly intimidated by this young woman that had all this piled on her, and seemed unfazed.

As soon as the doors closed she sank to her knees and screamed. The tears came flooding out of her eyes as her body was wracked by sobs. It’s like she’d been hit by a truck. The realization that Roman was really gone finally sinking in.

Blitzky didn’t know what he should do. He was a genius, but completely clueless when it came to social and interpersonal skills. He hesitantly patted Bri on the head like a golden retriever, unsure how long was comforting so he just kept doing it. “You’re strong.”

Bri glanced up at Blitzky through her foggy tears and couldn't help but agree. She WAS strong.

The elevator opened to their floor as she looked down at the floor.

“Well” Blitzkey peeped, unsure of what to do, “this is it.”

“We have to fix him Blitzkey. There’s got to be a way.” she said rising to her feet, as if the little display he just witnessed never happened.

“You’re the boss.” Blitzky said as cheerful as he could muster.

“I’m giving you Pryce’s position. I trust you.”

“Thank you! I wasn't sure if maybe you'd want to take charge.... What will you do? Take over for Roman?”

“Until I can bring him back, I guess I’ll have to. I will bring him back Blitzkey.... If I have to make a deal with the Devil himself.” Bri stated adamantly before setting off down the hall like a woman possessed.

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

001 for Star Wars!

Thanks Ami!!! 

001| Star Wars

Favorite character:  I love so many of them!!!  Obi-Wan Kenobi might win the overall title, because��he deserves it, and he is probably the one I have read the most fanfic for.  On the other hand, Luke, Han, and Leia are just!!! The OG team!!!  + dashing Lando of course.  I love Padme and Qui-Gon and Bail Organa.  All my clone children!  And I love all the characters from the sequel trilogy, particularly one messy disaster named Ben Solo, and ALSO THE WHOLE CREW FROM ROGUE ONE BUT ESPECIALLY CASSIAN ANDOR I WISH WE STILL TALKED ABOUT THESE GUYS  

*restrains myself from breaking open my filing cabinet of favorite Star Wars EU/Legends characters*

… 

nvm 

I also love Mara Jade, Talon Karrde, Shada D’ukal, Admiral Pellaeon, Arwen Cohl, Rella, Anoon Bondura, Darsha Assant, Tahl, Bant Eerin, Bastilla Shan, Darth Revan, and yeah there are a lot more I need to stop

Least Favorite Character:  Jabba the Hutt, hands down.  sorry Diego Luna I have no idea what the attraction is lol

5 Favorite Ships (canon or non-canon):  Reylo first and foremost (but you been knew it, no surprise), Obi-wan/Happiness, Hanleia, Rebelcaptain, Anidala, Finnrose, Poe/Kaydel (it’s never gonna happen in canon but it will in my dreams), Luke/Mara, Qui-gon/Tahl, Talon/Shada, Arwen/Rella, wAIT did you say just FIVE?!

Character I find most attractive:  oof HOW DO I DECIDE?!  Han Solo obviously has a great face and a charm that is rakish and boyish and manly all at once…Cassian Andor is a soft man, like I mean his hair looks soft and I would love to run my hands through it and hug him and tell him everything will be ok…Obi-wan has beautiful eyes and Ewan McGregor’s smile…Ben Solo is Adam Driver and size-wise he should be intimidating but honestly I’m just like the bigger he is the more I want to hug him, also dark hair and dark eyes is MY TYPE sO MuCH…Finn is John Boyega which means he is simultaneously cute and extremely hot…also RotS Anakin before he went all darkside, like that hair and scar were cool let’s face it

BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING IF THEY EVER MADE CLOAK OF DECEPTION INTO A MOVIE I WOULD ABSOLUTELY  LOVE CAPTAIN ARWEN COHL

Character I would marry:  Honestly…let me refer you to the previous answer

Character I would be best friends with:  Finn.  And Leia (from OT or ST doesn’t matter)

A Random Thought:  my favorite Star Wars au is the one where Anakin becomes a caretaker/teacher of the Jedi Younglings, and he loves the kids so much and he is so caught up in his job that he either ignores or is endearingly blind to Palpatine’s seductions and as a result Palpatine never quite gets the Empire off the ground and the Jedi Order becomes a much better organization and everyone lives happily ever after

Unpopular opinion: Idk I mean Jar Jar is annoying but…I don’t hate him quite as much as some people do, or even dislike him as much as I used to…what can I say the creature has a good heart even if he is ridiculous, and I pity him for being manipulated by Palpatine to help authorize the use of the clone army, and some times I wonder if he ever regretted making that decisive vote in Padme’s name, and I doubt Emperor Palpatine let the Gungans lead peaceful happy lives after the Empire was born

My canon OTP: REYLO

My non-canon OTP: Poe Dameron x Kaydel Ko Connix 

what? she’s completely loyal to him, and she’s played by the daughter of Carrie Fisher while he’s the protege/almost son of Princess General Leia

Most badass character:  Obi-Wan, in his quiet way.  But also Baze Malbus with his huge gun and Chirrut Imwe oh my GOSH CHirrUT IMWE…………………….ok you know how about THE WHOLE ROGUE ONE CREW

additionally, Darth Vader.  that scene he’s in?  I mean all of his scenes?  I get chills, man.  And Darth Maul, while looking particularly evil, exudes this ferocity that is just like whoa, not to mention he survives GETTING CUT IN HALF

also BOTH REY AND KYLO REN/BEN SOLO IN ALL THEIR LIGHTSABER FIGHTS

MOST OBVIOUSLY THO: PRINCESS GENERAL LEIA ORGANA SOLO. FACE IT SHE IS COOLER THAN ALL Y’ALL.  

Most Epic Villain:  DARTH VADER.  LOOK HE HAS AN AURA.  AN AURA THAT MAKES YOU GO OHHHH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH.  LIKE THE RINGWRAITHS OR SEPHIROTH.  DARTH VADER IS ICONIC–TRAGIC–BUT ICONIC.  EPIC

Pairing I am not a fan of:  Kyl*x

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):  The Force in the prequel trilogy.  I don’t hate on the PT but honestly?  The midichlorian is the powerhouse of the Force? no

Favorite friendship:  OBI-WAN AND ANAKIN!!! MY HEART!  also Han and Luke, Obi-wan and Bant, Finn and Poe, Finn and Rey.  ALL OF ROGUE ONE.  Also I really desperately want Rose and Rey to become steadfast friends!  

OMG WAIT I AM FORGETTING THE FOUR MOST IMPORTANT FRIENDSHIPS OF ALL:  

ANAKIN AND R2D2, POE AND BB8, LANDO  AND L3, AND CASSIAN AND K2SO

Character I most identify with:  lol Rey?  for having compassion towards Ben Solo?  but also I have always gravitated toward Obi-wan Kenobi, the one who is relatively quiet and calm and wise  and who tells people not to be reckless but then jumps out of a window a 1000 stories in the air and who also needs a drink because Anakin is just really testing him today

Character I wish I could be: …I’ve always wanted to be a Jedi, one that would ignore the dumb decisions of the council and get criticized for it a lot, but I wouldn’t care because compassion and mercy are more important.  I would adopt all the younglings.  Or if I wasn’t allowed that, I would probably leave the Jedi Order and go off and start a new order, one for the lonely and lost and broken, one that promotes healing and family.  One that does not shrug its shoulders and say oh well your mother is a slave on a planet out of our jurisdiction, sorry you just have to give up on her, it’s not like with our magic powers we could easily break her out I mean

[hastybooks]

OMG that was amazing & perfect & I want moooore. Is Gally on the Habs/does he get super nosy abt Alex's life? I imagine Alex refuses to ever tell him anything but when he shows up dressed in clothes that clearly aren't his own (because "like you would ever pick out anything that nice yourself") it takes 5 seconds for Gally to be like "sooo you got LAID down there, huh?" Alex doesn't answer of course, but his blush gives him away. Gally gets the story out of him eventually tho & is *impressed*

[landofshame]

you're an awesome sombra (and awesome person in general, senpai) and i've been wondering: how aggressive should you play her? how much of a nuisance should i be to the enemy? when do i disengage from a team fight? do i help them throughout the EMP or just pop it off and go straight for their healers/flankers going after my healers? (the recent announcement made me want to play her more and i need a break from being a tank/healer for a bit)

ALRIGHT, SOMBRA THO

Sombra is....something. She’s a blast to play, but she requires a shit ton of game sense and you need eyes on your back, tbh. And honestly she requires not only a lot of practice, but you need to play her consistently because for some reason it’s stupid easy to get out of practice with her (waaaay easier than any other hero imo).

Anyway, on to your questions.

How agressive should I play her?

Ok, first of all something you NEED to understand is that Sombra is not a standard DPS, she is more a support or a defense hero more than anything else. You will not be the main killer, you will not be an assassin, you are not here to get your kill count up.

Sombra is here to help the team in every way she can. So your level of aggression depends on how aggressive the play style of your team is. If you have a team that likes to bunker down and have the enemy come to them, hack all the nearby health packs, and finish off low health enemies in the confusion. If your team is very aggressive and dive-ey, stay in the back lines and just focus on helping kill big enemies together with your team (i.e if your Reaper is trying to kill the tank, help him out a little so you can both take it out faster).

She has very little damage, and pretty much every dps (and even tank) out-damages her if she doesn’t get help, so you can forget about zooming around the map, taking out full health enemies. That’s why she has the ability to see low health enemies through walls. Take out those low health enemies, or tell your team where they are. Don’t go chasing after enemies (even supports) all willy nilly. 

Two things to consider: - A living Sombra is more useful than a dead one. If you go diving into the enemy team alone all the time and just trying to kill the Mercy every time, and failing, you’re not doing much for your team. Wait for a team fight.- Don’t waste time. Make sure you’re always doing something. Just sitting around, or trying and failing to kill enemies alone, is not helping anyone. Scope around the map, help killing enemies with team mates, make sure your health packs are all still hacked. You’re much more useful like that. 

How much of a nuisance should i be to the enemy?

You should be the biggest pain in the ass on the map, but not in the way you’re probably thinking. Just diving into the enemy team, doing trash damage that can be easily healed away, and translocating back isn’t doing much, plus your risk the chance of dying very easily, making you useless. 

Be a nuisance by hacking the most important health packs, hacking Reinhardt so he can’t use his shield, suddenly appearing next an enemy while they’re backing away from your friendly McCree and giving the final blow, etc.

You have to make sure the enemy has nowhere to hide, both from you AND your team mates. Sombra is the queen of taking and holding territory, use it. (which is why she’s actually pretty great for defense).

When do i disengage from a team fight?  

Ideally, never. If you’ve played Sombra correctly up until the team fight, you should already have a lot of territory by having hacked all the important health packs, giving your team a MASSIVE advantage. Your damage is not enough to kill enemies fast enough, so in a team fight you should help your team take out the key targets. Tanks are especially easy for you to help with because tanks have a huge hit box, so your spread is pretty good with that. In team fights, keep an eye on every low health enemy and take them out, make sure they have no way out of the fight. 

When to disengage depends on the fight. Remember, you are more useful helping your team get one or several RELIABLE kills, rather than you chasing off one enemy by yourself and not even being 100% sure you’ll be able to actually kill them.

Do I help them throughout the EMP or just pop it off and go straight for their healers/flankers going after my healers? 

Depends, when you pop the EMP, are you close to a healer or flanker? Are they half health already? In that case, sure, otherwise is depends on the rest of your team. A good team will usually pop an ult of their own after Sombra does hers, and then will go after the ones that didn’t get hit with that ult, and you should help with that. Again, finish off the low health enemies, don’t go chasing after full health Tracers, you’ll die.

Here’s a highlight from a quick play match I did today.

You’ll see me doing my ultimate, near the Mercy and Rein so I KNOW they’ll be hit by it. Bu the Mercy is full health, so I know I won’t be able to take her out fast enough, and I also know for SURE that the rest of my team is there to follow up on my ult (and I was right, our Junkrat does his ult instantly and kills the Mercy). Instead I turn to the low health Rein help finish him off fast, together with the enemy Sombra. Then I quickly go to the small health pack, re-hack it so the stragglers don’t have health. And voila. Tripple kill, successful ult. Payload is moving. 

And that’s how you always gotta be thinking. Know your own weakness and make sure you always know what’s happening on the map and what your team is doing. 

Some more tips!

Know which health packs are the most important on the map. Know which ones are used the most, and take them. Always make sure your health packs STAY hacked, keep tabs on them. Also I have found it to be more useful to hack health packs for your own team to use rather then the enemy, because health packs the enemy use are often right in a group of them, and it’s very dangerous to keep going back there to re-hack it. Just make sure you own the ground around YOUR team, and all good. Plus, every time they use your health pack you get ult charge.

Playing her in competetive is....not advised. Not because she’s bad, because she’s REALLY not, but because she relies a lot on teamwork and for some reason, seeing a Sombra on their side will make people tilt off the side of the planet before the match has even started. Don’t even bother.

Use your translocator to always be all over the place. Don’t just use it to have a safe place to go back to when in a fight. Use it to get on to high places and never be in one place for too long.

Speaking of, high ground is your friend. People never look up for some reason.

Playing Sombra means making your own team feel like winners and making them think they carried, even though you know it was you helping them and hacking the important health packs. Which is way more rewarding than you think it is.Sombra is the puppet master behind the scenes, it’s what she does!

I hope my advice was useful!! Now go forth and have a good time!!

[dskid]

memeghan answer me every single question from the overwatch thing

YES it’s all under the cut!

1. Who is your defense main?

junkrat! my sweet baby boy

2. Who is your support main?

lucio

3. Who is your offense main?

reaper

4. Who is your tank main?

d.va

5. Who is you MAIN main?

junkrat RIP

6. Which character have you played the least?

mei or ana,,, i never play them if i can help it tbh

7. Which character do you want to learn how to play?

MCCREE, genji, hanzo, widow, tracer

8. Which character do you dislike the most?

HANZO I HATE HANZO SM as a character… but hes fun to play and im >:- (

9. Which character’s background story do you like the most?

genji, reaper, or mccree definitely!!

10. Which character’s background story do you like the least?

idk really, just the bland ones :’- )

11. Which map is your favorite?

i love hanamura and it’s not just because genji��.. i just. really love hanamura

12. Which map is your least favorite?

lijiang tower >:- ( it sucks and i hate it

13. What Arcade game type is your favorite?

mystery heroes or honestly 3v3′s !!

14. What Arcade game type is your least favorite?

total mayhem is Terrible tbh

15. Do you prefer quick play, competitive, arcade mode, or custom games?

i love quick play the most! it’s fun and u can dick around without consequence (though i prefer winning to. Not winning)

16. Which map type is your favorite? Assault, escort, assault & escort, control, or arena?

assault or control maps are my favs !! escort is fine but control? good shit dude

17. Which map type is your least favorite? Assault, escort, assault & escort, control, or arena?

assault and escort are :- / but u know

18. Which event map was your favorite?

idk if it counts as an event map since it’s still here but i love all the new elimination maps!

19. Which event map reskin was your favorite?

winter wonderland!

20. Which event was your favorite?

i didnt get to play it but junkenstein’s revenge? or the uprising event bc BLACKWATCH REYES’S VOICE I NUT

21. Which event legendary skin was your favorite?

i nut for all of the blackwatch skins

22. Which event was your least favorite?

cant say!

23. Which event legendary skin was your least favorite?

ROADHOG’S YEAR OF THE ROOSTER SKIN SUCKS and it scares me

24. Which event non-legendary skin was your favorite?

genji’s sparrow skin makes me NUT

25. Which event non-legendary skin was your least favorite?

all of the piss yellow skins

26. Which event item do you most regret not getting?

genji’s and mccree’s dance emotes :’- ( i want them so bad

27. Did you beat the Uprising event on Normal, Hard, Expert, and Legendary?

couldnt play it aaaahahaha

28. Do you have Sombra’s “Power Outage” achievement?

NOPE

29. Do you have Widowmaker’s “Smooth as Silk” achievement?

nope

30. Do you have Lucio’s “The Floor is Lava” achievement?

nope :’- )

31. Do you have Zenyatta’s “Rapid Discord” achievement?

n o pe,

32. What was the first achievement you got?

i think it was the one u get for getting a quad kill with junkrat’s rip tyre

33. Did you get the “Not A Scratch,” achievement on Junkenstein’s Revenge?

NO

34. What has been the hardest achievement to get for you?

any of the ones for the pixel sprays bc the pixel sprays make me nut

35. What’s your current SR score in Competitive Mode?

i dont play comp

36. What the highest you’ve been in Competitive?

^

37. What’s the most amount of placement matches you’ve won?

^

38. How many gold guns do you have?

0 aha but i want junkrat’s so people know im annoying

39. Which was the first gold gun you got?

NONE

40. Whose gold gun do you currently want?

junkrat’s!

41. What role do you usually play in Competitive?

JDAFSDLK

42. If you don’t play Competitive, why not?

too intense? and im honestly not that good at ovw so my team would carry me the whole time and it would be :- (

43. What kind of theme event would you like to see in the future?

i just want to play junkenstein’s revenge dude

44. What type of character would you like to see in the future?

A NEW HEALER

45. Who needs more (or better) skins in the future?

REAPER and basically all my faves except genji cause hes good

46. What country would you like a new character to come from?

i dont really care,,,,,,

47. Favorite voice line?

“hear me baby?” - torbjorn

48. Favorite player icon?

GOLDEN PACHIMARI but i have goldrat rn

49. Favorite emote?

all of the dance emotes but roadhog’s and junkrat’s are my faves cause they HIGH FIVE

50. Favorite spray?

THE ONE WHERE THE KID? IS PUNCHING? AND HE LOOKS RLY UNCOMFORTABLE

51.Favorite victory pose?

uhh idk! i love basically all of them tbh but reaper’s shrug probably? i love reaper

52. Favorite highlight intro?

D.VA’S SELFIE INTRO

53. Characters you ship the most?

mcgenji and roadrat 8- )

54. Characters you ship the least?

aside from bad ships™, meihem and mercyhog are both Rly Bad in my opinion, along with gency and mercykill (both very bad)

55. Characters you wish had more in-game interactions?

FUCKign…. mccree and genji…… and if reaper and doomfist dont have a lot of interactions those two also

56. Character you wish had a comic about?

i want hanzo and genji to have their own individual comics or one together about their childhood

57. Favorite comic released?

the junkers going legit comic

58. Favorite short released?

DRAGONS cause im a ho for genji

59. Favorite new character released?

doomfist

60. Overwatch, Blackwatch, or Talon?

BLACKWATCH I LOVE MY BOYS

61. Pro-Omnic or anti-Omnic?

pro-omnic but only for zenyatta…… im love him

62. Favorite character that isn’t a playable one? (Ex: Emily, Brigitte, Gerard, Efi, etc.)

gerard or efi probably? theyre both v good

63. Character change (nerf, boost, work around) that you liked the most?

roadhog going faster and having more bullets

64. Character change (nerf, boost, work around) you liked the least?

i cant fuckign hook anyone anymore

65. Best ultimate?

i love d.va’s nerf this but i can never position it right,,,, and i love rip tyre

66. Worst ultimate?

widow’s is the most useless tbh

67. Most kills in game?

never enough :’- ) 41 tho

68. Most heals in game?

10,520

69. What character do you think needs a nerf?

SYMMETRA i hate playing against her >:- ( her beam takes no skill to use and also winston’s beam needs to heck off

70. What character do you think needs a buff?

reinhardt… give the man a range…..

71. Have you ever rage quit in the middle of a game?

nope i only leave games early if i have to do something else irl or if my internet goes out

72. What’s the fastest you’ve won a game?

like……… 1:10

73. What’s the fastest you’ve lost a game?

i forget it probably wasnt too far off from 1:00 - 1:20 tho

74. Your best Overwatch-related story?

UMM idk ! all the skirmishes where the enemy team dances with me and stuff r lit and when people have the low grav parties with me on horizon lunar colony it’s also lit

75. Weirdest thing that happened to you on Overwatch?

nothing weird really happens to me in ovw tbh…

76. Platform you play on?

PC!

77. Do you stream?

nope

78. Do you normally play solo or with friends?

i try to play with friends more than i do solo but i will solo sometimes

79. Have you made any friends because of Overwatch?

MADDY!! and u and kelly and rose!

80. Have you cosplayed a character from Overwatch?

no but i really want to cosplay young  / sparrow genji really fuckgin bad

81. Have you ever wrote fan fiction about Overwatch?

im in… the process……

82. What’s the lowest you’ve been in Competitive?

i dont play comp

83. In “All Brawls,” if you get “Charge!” do you play Reinhardt or do you pick the Lucio role?

i missed these

84. In “All Brawls,” if you get “One Shot, One Kill,” do you play Ana, Hanzo, or Widowmaker?

i missed these

85. In “All Brawls,” if you get “This is Ilios,” do you pick Lucio or Roadhog?

i missed these

86. Team Genji or Team Hanzo?

GENJI HANZO DESERVES NOTHING AND HE SUCKS

87. Be honest! Do you usually get on the payload?

yes! im always the one calling for people to get on it tbh

88. Does your team?

not usually :’- )

89. What’s the longest session of Overwatch you’ve played?

when i first got it…… ive played it for a solid 6 hours in a row with no breaks bc i suck

90. No Limits, Mystery Heroes, or Total Mayhem?

mystery heroes definitely

91.Most cosmetics you have for one character?

i think i have the most for mercy but i cant remember?

92. Least cosmetics you have for one character?

symmetra

93. Have you ever made your own custom game?

only to practice playing genji

94. Best D.Va skin?

CRUISER, junebug, or carbon fiber

95. Best Mercy skin?

the witch one

96. Best Tracer skin?

roses

97. Zarya’s Industrial and Cybergoth skins: yes, no, or HELL NO?

eeh

98. Do you want more animal character, robot characters, or human characters?

human characters (theyre easier to draw and im a Weenie when it comes to drawing mechs / robots)

99. Is there are character you’d get rid of completely?

hanzo bc i hate him or sym bc i cant play against her no matter how hard i try

100. What do you think Sombra’s real name is?

something really pretty………. idk what exactly………….. but something just Real Good

[piesforjack]

CANADIAN THINGS PART 2, THE SEQUEL NO ONE ASKED FOR!!!!

hiiii yesss!! so if you’ve seen my last canada post (HA that’s a pun bc our mail service is called “canada post” har har har...anyway) u know that i had some records to set straight, so to speak, so i’m back at it again w canada FACTS aka things you probably don’t know but might be useful and helpful in your attempt to flesh out realistic Canadiana™. this is in honour of me hitting 500 followers, thank y’all so much ily all and thanks for bein awesome!!!

without further ado, buckle up, buds, here we go again!!!!

canada eradicated pennies not too long ago. basically, we don’t have a 1¢ coin anymore, we only have 5¢ coins ergo all payments paid in cash are rounded up/down accordingly. jack and ransom 100% hate this because now they’re so annoyed by the concept of carrying around pennies (”what’s the point!?!? 1¢??! USELESS!!)

along this same vein, canada doesn’t have a $1 bill, we have coins known as a loonie ($1) and a toonie ($2), the smallest bill we have is $5 (jack is still consistently weirded out by paper dollar bills. it feels wrong.)

ALSO while we’re on the topic of money, all our bills are different colours (blue for $5, purple for $10, green for $20, red for $50, brown for $100), they’re also waterproof (not heatproof tho!!!), and the $100 ARE NOT officially created to smell like maple syrup but i can assure you i’ve sniffed some bills that do smell like maple syrup and i cannot explain why (ransom still gets confused w american money “it looks like monopoly money, jack!” “i know, bro, i know”)

IN OTHER MONEY RELATED TRAINS OF THOUGHT, there are two main canadian airlines: air canada and westjet. they both have a total monopoly on canadian travel so it’s real damn expensive to fly anywhere in canada from within canada. it sucks a whole lot. (just remember than whenever you write ransom/jack flying home. it’s a pretty penny even if jack is loaded)

age of consent is 16 across canada

the drinking age in canada is 18/19 (dependent on provinces), however, CANADA WIDE the legal adult age (to vote, essentially) is 18.

driving ages differ province to province (you’d have to google because even i don’t know every province)

SPEAKING OF PROVINCES, canada is split into provinces and territories: 10 provinces and 3 territories. here’s a breakdown of each (it’s long, skip if you wanna!!):

british columbia (BC)

west coast best coast, lots of mountains, very hippy dippy, home province of vancouver aka movie city central, capital city is VICTORIA not vancouver, rains a lot, is known for being the birth city of ryan reynolds (your welcome), is split into two main sections: the mainland and the island (even though BC is composed of many islands, vancouver island is referred to as THE island), bland football team, even blander NHL team.

alberta (AB)

neighbour to BC, cowboys, hyper-conservative, also mountains, capital is EDMONTON not calgary, lots of extreme weather (sunshine and +20 (celsius) and then it’ll snow. alberta is weird like that), oil oil OIL, two mediocre football teams, home of the calgary stampede (again, cowboys), i often refer to alberta as the texas of canada and i’ve never had someone disagree tbh, mediocre hockey teams (including connor mcfuckingjesus don’t get me started)

saskatchewan (SK)

neighbour to AB, pronounced SASS-CAT-CHEW-WAH-N, flat flat FLAT, farmers galore, capital city regina (hahaha laugh it up it’s not that funny once you’re beyond the age of 10), even more mediocre football team (i’m only saying that bc i’m from manitoba, the rival province), tbh i don’t know much about saskatchewan except that we drove all the way across it once for a roadtrip and i swear to god we didn’t see another vehicle or human for the entirety of our trip across

manitoba (MB)

neighbour to SK and also the prime rival, capital city winnipeg (YES IT’S A REAL PLACE, I WAS BORN THERE, I LIVED THERE FOR 18 YEARS, CAN CONFIRM, STOP IT), cold as FUUUUUCK in the winter (-40 (celsius) and schools don’t close until it’s -45, so, deal w THAT), mosquitoes fucking galore (it’s disgusting and awful and makes being outdoors AWFUL), we also have polar bears!! (more north, but, still!!!!), really cool live theatre and music vibes, very dry heat, UBER MEDIOCRE FOOTBALL TEAM (but still better than SK rough riders bc provincial rivalry!!!), SUPER mediocre NHL team (i only say this because my mom’s a jets fan whereas i’m a pens fan...lmao BYE MOM), tbh can’t say many mean things bc i still love wpg with at least half my heart!!!!

ontario (ON)

neighbour to MB, capital city toronto, home of the capital city of CANADA, ottawa, muskoka chairs, so many fuckin lakes (everyones fave place to camp/own a cabin), extreme winters just like MB, niagara falls, again a rly cool arts district here (in TO and surrounding area), 3 football teams bc why the fuck not (fffffuck the TO argonauts), 2 NHL teams (everyone in canada hates the leafs. that’s not a fact but i could find enough evidence of it to convince you it is), basically TO is considered the center of the fucking universe according to everyone who lives in TO and everyone who lives outside of canada bc no one knows anything else about canada. canada might as well JUST be TO for all people fucking care. just. fuck toronto. (i think it’s a canadian thing to be Bitter and Annoyed about toronto’s unending praises from every corner of the map) ((jack is V much “fffffuck toronto” and ransom is V much “fuck you toronto is RAD”)

quebec (QC)

neighbour to ON, pronounced KUH-BECK not KWUH-BECK or KEY-BECK and lord have mercy on your soul if you dare say it like “Q-BECK”, capital city quebec city, french-canadian province that’s threatened to “leave” canada multiple times, HOME OF OUR DING DONG HIMSELF, MSSR. ZIMMERMANN!!!, poutine holy fucking HECK god bless poutine (if you think it’s gross i already don’t like you sorry 100000% NOT SORRY. jack and ransom love some good ass poutine oKEEEEER), a rly good music scene (osheaga music festival is top notch), essentially a canadian paris except people speak quebecois not france-french (but you can get away with it in most respects, there’s differences but the foundations are the same, bc DUH they’re the same language but essentially different dialects, KIND OF similar to mandarin and cantonese (although that particular case has more nuances than this one but you get the idea))

newfoundland and labrador (NL)

neighbour to QB, capital city st. john’s (not to be confused with saint john, NB...yeah there’s another province w almost the EXACT SAME CITY NAME sigh i know it’s dumb and rude) i’ve never really been to the east coast so idk what to tell you but LOBSTER and FISHING and WEIRD FUCKIN ACCENTS, another coastal place so it’s p weird and hippy dippy, but i’ve only ever heard that they’re lovely people, often referred to as newfies.

now, the maritime provinces....starting with new brunswick (NB)

just south of QB, capital city fredericton, v small in comparison to other canadian provinces (as u can tell), again don’t know much about NB but i know they’re big on fish and are basically Maine The Second (they’re pressed right up against maine so, it’s basically maine 

nova scotia (NS)

south-ish of NB, capital city halifax, HOME TO THE REAL LIFE DING DONG OF MY HEART, MISTER 87, SIDNEY CROSBY, a full on island, full of wonderful kind people a la mister crosby himself (honestly, it’s just a bunch of super kind people), really cool coastal scenery with amazing seafood (as you’d expect), home of the city that many a traveller has confused for sydney australia, very old-fashioned (idk how to explain???) but just like...you feel like you’re in a storybook when you’re there, lots of lighthouses, overall a v nice place to be

prince edward island (PEI)

the teeny-tiniest place in all of canada i’m certain, north-east-ish of NB and NS, capital city charlottetown, honestly i’m running out of things to say, it’s exactly like NB and NS had a baby that never grew out of infancy it’s so small.

now onto the TERRITORIES which are all up north...yukon (YT)

pronounced YOU-CON, north of BC, east of alaska, capital city whitehorse, cold as heck (tundra baby!!), extremely expensive living conditions ($9 for a 2L of milk, $18 for some fuckin apples...absolute fuckin robbery), lots of hunting and fishing goes on up here (aka lots of people hunt/prepare their own food), lots of mountains and such, v beautiful.

northwest territories (NT)

above AB and SK, capital city yellowknife, used to be bigger but then it was divided up (creating the new territory nunavut), v similar to yukon but with less mountain and more lakes, again v cold bc TUNDRA, my cousin met her husband while working in yellowknife...she’s from MB and he’s from ENGLAND aka what kinda fucking fateful BS...amazing, p cool w lots of islands and such far up north, it’s neat and suuuper beautiful in the summer (so many flowers lksdfjlskad)

nunavut (NU)

pronounced NEW-NUH-VUH-T, north of MB, capital city iqaluit (pronounced EE-CAL-EW-IT) used to be part of NT but they separated into two territories circa 1999, again v similar to the other territories, beautiful scenery with an OBSCENE amount of islands (colouring in maps was always a fucking DOOZY), again, not much to say. just a rly lovely place.

WOO congrats if you read all that lmao now lets get into some other stuff!!

our thanksgiving is in october, the second monday in october to be exact. it’s only been a thing since like??? the 60s??? like it’s a brand new concept, essentially, and i’m not even 100% sure why we have thanksgiving but we do (it’s mostly a charade, thanksgiving means nothing in canada, it’s a completely arbitrary reason to be grateful and eat some fuckin turkey) (jack and ransom both support arbitrary turkey holidays)

canada’s national sport is actually, like, officially lacrosse?????? i know what the fuck (i bet ransom follows lacrosse)

marriage equality has been a thing since 2005 (doesn’t mean jack wasn’t excited about the USA, just, not quite as overcome as bitty was)

winnie the pooh? based on a real bear from winnipeg, MB. yeah, be fuckin jealous y’all

if you didn’t know canada has universal health care. it’s pretty fucking rad.

idk if this is Too Obvious but canada has two official languages, english and french, so all of our packaging/instructions has to be in both languages. everything. from toothpaste to trampolines. everything. signage is a bit more dicey, most trans-canada highway signs are in both languages but more rural/urban ones probably aren’t (jack gets thrown off still when he instinctively looks for the french translations on packaging for nothing to be found. it happens more than you think)

oh also?? we used british spelling, meaning we add a bunch of ‘u’s where they don’t really need to be. this is 100% a point of contention between bitty and jack. 

CANADA IS METRIC. IT’S RLY SIMPLE PALS. everything is in groups of 10s. 10 millimetres = 1 centimetre. 100 centimetres = 1 metre. 1000 metres = 1 kilometre (aka how we measure speed, km/hour) you get it? (the prefixes, ie. milli, centi, kilo, are huge helpful hints)

the exception to this is baking measurements??? unlike the UK we couldn’t escape the wrath of cups and teaspoons and all those other arbitrary measurement devices. we still use those (for the most part)

we use fucking celsius okay (except on ovens, mostly because they’re american distributed machines ergo run in fahrenheit) anyway it’s p straightforward:

celsius is in relation to water temperature, ergo, 0 degrees celsius is waters freezing point, anything below that is freezing (relatively, of course), anything above it is not. this is especially useful for discussing weather, as, y’know, most people typically use temperature for (outside of the kitchen and hospitals, that is)

+20? nice summer day. -40? typical MB winter, +30? typical fuckin central canada summer, +7? dependent on where you live it could either mean SHORTS!! (central canada) or a light jacket (west coast), again it’s all relative to your acclimatization

okay i think this is long enough!! here’s some random nostalgic things that ransom and holster def remember/love dearly

i pray with all my heart that jack has this funny little soft spot for ‘corner gas’ in the same way i do (it’s a canadian prairie sitcom CLASSIC and i love it SO MUCH)

jack and ransom both have a strange crush on rick mercer

MO FUCKIN FRAGGLE ROCK BIIIIITCH

ransom definitely had some misconceptions about what being 16 would be like because of this fuckin show (he also 100% did the air guitar to the theme song)

this show meant a whole heck of a lot to lil bb jack (who 100% watched cartoons in english AND french okay????)

ALSO (i think i mentioned this in the last post but!!) ransom grew up watching caillou in english, jack in french, and they argue all the time about the differences between the two.

ransom remembers being a little bab watching this nonsense right before bed with a cup of warm milk and exactly two oreos (just me??? pshhh i don’t believe it)

jack had very strategically thought out how he would destroy his competitors at this game show

jack loved babar. don’t even touch me. just. imagine tiny jacques w a lil stuffed elephant my hearT!!!!!

ALSO MCFUCKING T’CHOUPI ET DOUDOU!!!!!! i watched this one in english but i can only imagine jack loved it

okay. okay. again, thank u for reading, i hope this was helpful!! lemme know if there’s anything i missed!! who knows, i might make a third installment one day!?!??!

[cookies-n-pieohmy]

Please, just don't leave

*Also in AO3 under MichaelLarkin. Second chapter is prolly going up tomorrow. Also Nurse has a panic attack just fyi ends fluffy tho* "Are you kidding me?? We aRE NOT FINE!" Normally Derek would do anything for this level of attention from Dex. He spent most of his days directly provoking this kind of intensity from him, because nothing felt quite as good as being the cause of that flush crawling over Will's skin. It distracted Nurse and drove him partially out of his mind, because it was so easy to imagine that flush spreading for other reasons. Reasons involving Derek's bed, and unbuttoned flannel, and pushing a white shirt up to see how far that flush spreads and how many hickeys he could suck before Will was begging him to- "Nurse!" It was lucky thing his skin didn't burn like Will's did. It was much easier to hide what he was thinking(feeling) behind a chill exterior. "What?" Because pretending ignorance had to be better than the rejection he knew was coming. Maybe not today, (please not today) If he could just make it to summer break before Will found out. Then Will would have months of time to get over it. Months for the awkwardness to blow over. Nursey could act like this was just a crush. That it is was just a fleeting fascination, a d-man thing. Nothing Will specific. Nursey could pretend there was not a Will in his head that he imagined daily (hourly, constantly) that looked at him differently. That wanted to hold his hand in public. That wanted to share a bed in the attic next year, not keep the bunks. One that would miss Derek just as desperately over breaks. Nursey could do that, even if Derek couldn't. "What do you mean what?! What the hell was that practice? Where were you out there?!" Derek winced. Ah there was the problem. The reason why he would be found out. Ransom and Holster already looked at them (at him) too knowingly. He had seen them 'discreetly' working on a new slideshow. Probably titled 'when one d-man tries to remove the bro from the bromance' Derek's crush was affecting their chemistry on the ice. He was questioning everything. 'What if I look at him too long? What if we are too in sync? What if he realizes during a game? What if they other team realized? What if Dex realizes it and Derek loses Will forever? Because what if he leaves? What if he leaves! What if he leaves-' 'What's the worst thing that can happen?' Is such a stupid question, because him leaving is the answer. An unrequited crush sucks, but at least he's there. At least there's the slim chance, the hope, the light at the end of the tunnel. 'What if he leaves me?' Is the thought that sends Derek spiraling. The reason he sees a therapist twice a week now instead of once. His panic attacks. Abandonment issues are the label scrawled across the top of every file he has ever had. Below his name. One label that changing school districts and hair styles had never changed. Better to have one night stands and shallow friends then care, because what if they leave! What if they actually get to know every fucked up thing about you and leave. What if he leaves? "Nurse... Derek?" Shit. Shit shit shit. Not here not now. He had only had a panic attack I front of one team member before (Chowder) and that had been the moment he had realized his feelings for Will. Too drunk at a Haus party too hide it anymore. Chowder had been on nursey patrol and had found him in the fetal position in the basement trying every calming exercise he knew. The only thing that has calmed him down was telling Chowder the truth. He hates the look of pity Chowder sends him now whenever Dex is particularly harsh in his chirps. "Hey! Back off Nurse is just off today. We all have our off practices." But now he could probably kiss Chris Chow (if not for Farmer or more importantly Dex he might have had a crush on him instead). As he was quickly shuffled at of the locker room and was shocked to find himself back at his dorm. He had no memory of how he got here, but he dimly recognized his mom speaking to him in Urdu. And his maman speaking in French over the phone. Both trying to get his attention and both relieved sighs when he choked out an "I'm fine... it's chill." Over the relief from the phone another sigh came from his room. He turned over expecting to see Chowder's concerned eyes and fidgety hands, but instead one William Pointdexter rested in his reading chair. The same chair Dex chirped him for every time he came to pickk him up for lunch. "I never thought I would be relieved to hear the word 'chill' from you before." Will said half smiling. It was the softest chirp Dex had ever served him, and it came from the most obvious place: pity. He knew. Derek's breath immediately changed to panicked gasps, because he thought he knew what the worst thing to happen was, but God this was worse. Pity. From Dex. Neither Derek nor Nurse could stand it. There is no shield for pity. For disgust there is anger. For leaving there is sadness, but pity. Pity is the equivalent of saying 'I care, but not enough.' And Derek cared too much. Too much to see this. Too much to survive pity from Will when he wanted so much more. "Hey. Hey. Please no shhhh shhhh. Please I can't. I don't know what to say.... please Derek... I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul. I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers; thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance, risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep." Derek was shocked. Shocked enough to quiet his breathing. Distracted out of his panicked haze. Had William Pointdexter just admitted he loved him with- "That's it right. That's your favorite poem right?" And there it was, Derek's favorite blush. The shy one that only happened when you caught Dex off guard and paid Will a compliment. It never happened on ice, but sometimes after he just fixed the dryer for the millionth time, made a pie with bitty, or helped Chowder with his calculus homework. If you were quick enough to catch him, Will would respond like this. Flushed, head ducked, all aw shucks, it did things for Nursey, soft Dex. He responded to the question with a nod. Not ready to give up the moment. Not ready for the hope to die. "Your mom's said to let them talk you out of it, and I didn't know if I could believe Chowder or not, but I wanted to do something nice for you since this is my fault." "I don't want your pity." Because of course Dex would stomp on his dream. He had to fix things, especially if he broke them. Not because he cared but because Dex saw it as his duty in life. To fix everyone's problems, but not his own. Derek was not a window that had cracked after Dex had slammed it shut. He had been cracked for a long time, and he was going was not going to let Dex fix him out of some misplaced guilt over a crack he had only deepened, not caused. 'But what if Dex shattered you? Would you let him fix you then?' There was no need for Derek to answer that question. Even to himself. He knew the truth. If Derek shattered it would be because Will wasn't there to fix him. "It's not pity. I... I thought the poem would be enough. I'm not... WORDS. Nurse.. Derek. I'm not words. You are" and then William Pointdexter kissed him. In Derek's bed, wearing flannel and still flushing leaving Derek to realize that this wasn't a day dream he could finally find out exactly How Far Down That flush spreads. "Derek!!! What happened Derek?!?!" "Did he kiss him?!" "Are they kissing?!?" "I don't know Elena shush I'm trying to find out" William Pointdexter was kissing him while he was still on the phone with his Mothers. "Wow. I didn't know you blushed." And wasn't that a very good look on Will. Surprised.... and turned on.... maybe they both could go exploring. "Derek we would rather not be the how you say... chéri how do you say... oh 'cockblock' yes that. Merci chérie." ‎"خوش آمدید" Derek desperately sought out his phone from where he had dropped it off the side of the bed. "Mom maman we kissed. I will call you both later. Love you!" Before hanging up the phone, and looking at Will. "I love you!" Rushed out love instead of like, because Derek was the opposite of chill at this moment. Wills shocked expression stalled him and as the silence lengthened, Derek deflated. He had ruined it. He just couldn't keep his mouth shut. God. He began curling into himself trying to at least keep his breathing even. Will didn't deserve another panic attack. Will hadn't done anything wrong. Derek had messed up, and he couldn't take a response from Will out of pity. He would rather Will say he didn't love him than lie out of pity. "Hey Derek please don't do that. I have never said that to someone before. I'm not ready... I thought the poem.. I mean.. That doesn't mean... the way I feel... it.. you matter to me. Just give me a little time okay?" And there was a new look. Better than all the others. Will was looking at him as if he was special and... loved... even if he couldn't say it yet. After all Derek was words. Will was action. And he knew that what Derek really needed was a long nap, a lot of Netflix, and being taken care of after the longest (best) day of his life. And Will loved to fix things.

[survivorjordanpines]

Episode 6: I aint gone yet muthafukers! - Adam

i renamed jordans contact to "toddler with a knife", i hope you're enjoying tumblr survivor: knife toddler anyway, game shit sarah lied about my vote last round in order to force distrust between me and ryan, and to get madison out for some fuckin reason??? like really idk what she's thinking, madison is on her/our side and cole's gang wants nothing to do with her. i think im on the list before her tho so i guess shes banking on that? but still like what the fuck anyway i volunteered for jeopardy because i figured that they wouldnt vote out someone who tried to get their tribe a win, but people can throw and still stay so i guess its a mystery (*cough cough* COLE *cough cough* REGAN *cough cough*) i really hope toddler has a chaos idol hidden somewhere, i wanna be the one to find it and raise all hell

I already did a confessional, Jordan. Stop trying to turn me into Emily! 🛑 

So I just won the first duel and im fairly confident I'm gonna win the second one aswell. My true love Jordan Pines is giving me orisinal flash games where i can excel <3 Adam and I are here and to be honest in my like 3 seasons on redemption island he scares me the most as I'm not certain if I can beat him. I'd like to, but you never know. I'm kind of mad at my former tribe but when I go back I'm just gonna be whatever. I was set up and whether people wanna listen to me or not, thats their thoughts. I also feel in 2 duels time we will have a returner. We should have 17 left in the game, so 1 added would make 18. I think I have an advantage on Redemption Island, simply as I have done it twice and I know its almost as much about making bonds to play with people's minds as it is the challenges. I am the King of Redemption Island and you don't get my crown just cause.

Ugh. I'm sounding like a broken record, but I don't entirely like my tribe. AGAIN. Maybe I just don't fit in well to Tumblr but who knows. I just don't want to go to tribal again because I'll gun someone down...hard.

You know what's annoying? Nobody on the tribe wanting to do the damn challenge. Like I'm not too good at either but I'm still here! Thankfully Gage stepped up to the plate and I was afraid I would have to be alone. Let's hope we win! If not I hope I'm on the isle of the pines.

yas andreas destory those duels give all the icons who voted you out no mercy also yas adam slayyyy

Won another redemption challenge! And you know what that means! It's time for Adam's Bitching Corner 2 yall. Cuz I am never done complaining. And I've got nothing to do on redemption island other than to brew over my wrongful termination. Like I guess it was my fault for not having an alliance that had my back, but the more I think about it I'm just like they must have wanted me gone from the beginning. Like, the first chance they got they got rid of ME! Cuz we won the first two challenges, which i even feel like I was a big part of with my kickass flag idea and normal puzzle time. And then I wasn't at the third tribal because Jess whisked me away but as soon as I was an option I got cut. I bet they were all talking shit on me the whole time. Bitches. Like we got a tribe full of the most annoying people from Regan to Jaiden and yet I'm the taken out. Like I was nice, probably even weirdly nice. Maybe that's why. Whatever, I'm just gonna assume a bunch of them got together, decided I had too many friends on the other tribe, and then wanted me gone asap. Well I aint gone yet muthafukers! But I am done for now. Tune in next week for another episode of Bitter Crybabys Complaining on Redemption. Next episode will feature me yelling some more, once I am rejuvenated by being sure that I'm staying. Until then!

I hate that we lost at final jeopardy and that I didn't even go to the isle. God this is so annoying. I do not feel safe with this tribe. I feel like I can get Chrissa and Jaiden on my side. LA could also want to work with us during this vote against the icon tribe members. Honestly I'm fine with voting out Casey since she always seems so busy with other things. It should be an easy vote against her to be honest.

Well, we lost. I’ve been talking to Regan probably the most out of everyone on this tribe so I’m hoping we can work together beyond this vote because surprisingly enough she had the power on Senip... not sure if that’ll carry over to NuNadroj but you never know. I like Jessica and I would love to keep working with Drew and Ruthie so I think it’s going to have to be Karen or Liam. Everyone loves Karen but like she DOES NOT TALK TO ME so I’m not inclined to want to work with her. If her name comes up? I’m down to vote her out. I want to slide through this vote without hearing my name. I feel like it’s way too early  for idol plays and would put a huge target on my back if I decided to play it. I’ve gotta be smart about this. 

Alright, so, whether I like it or not I think I'm going to have to try to rally the troops on this vote tonight. No one seems to want to throw out names but I'm spinning it so that I'm not saying names but saying who people haven't talked to. Told Karen that Ruthie says she hasn't talked much to her or Liam. Karen is now against Ruthie and more likely to work with me. Drew says that he wants to start an alliance with me, Liam, and Karen. If we do this we'll have four and that's the majority on this vote. I haven't been able to talk to Liam so I'm not 100% sure this is happening but Drew and I have both talked to Karen and we seem to be on board. I didn't necessarily want to team up with Karen but at this point I'll work with anyone if it means that I don't go home. I don't want to vote out Jessica or Ruthie but I don't think I'll have much of a choice. 

pretty sure this is the round i go home. i have no idea what's going on and gage went to the island thing so i don't have him to talk to. AND the fucking audio for my video files aren't working right now and i can't reshoot these scenes so imma cry if Final Cut doesn't work for me. 

I cannot wait for LA to be voted out. I know originally Jaiden said we should stick with Senip, but I'd rather not. Stick with the tribe that manipulated me, lied straight to my face, and was ran by Karen who wanted me gone because of a past game? No thank you. When I said I was going to jump ship, I meant like hard fall jump ship. Like hop off the Titanic. LA can go because she has barely talked to me and continuously left me out of the loop. Plus getting rid of that potential LA and Charlotte combo early is good as well. Gage will just have to deal with it when he gets back from the isle. Karen, sweetie, since you think I'm a traitor and a backstabber let me prove it to you. I love when my game turns for the good.

WHY DO I KEEP GETTING PUT ON AWFUL TRIBES. IS EVERYONE PLAYING THIS GAME AWFUL? Karen is impossible to talk to. Drew is preoccupied with another game. Liam who? Ruthie is flawless but we don't have numbers to work together and I like Jessica GDI. I don't want to vote Ruthie or Jessica out. We need a fourth on Karen though and I'm not sure I can convince Drew to vote against her. Fuck me. I hate this. Can we swap again? Can I get a redo? Asking for a friend. On one hand, I wish they'd just vote me out so I'd be free from the misery that is trying to work with these people... but on the other hand, I want to win, so that's not going to work for me. I don't know why the fuck I'm out here trying to get majority when we could just tie 3-3 and go to ROCKS. Hopefully Ruthie doesn't have Rock PTSD from Themyscira.

I'm really scared that I'm going to go home right now, everyone wanted to do Karen but I don't think Drew wanted to do her and I just feel like he's going to talk everyone in to turning on me for some reason because we've barely talked in this game and I'm trying to carry on a conversation with him now but he's not responding quickly and I'm just SO panicked.  I just want me, Jess and Charlotte to be safe, I really like Karen a lot but I do not want it to be me! I'm totally okay with voting for Karen or Liam or whoever else anyone wants to go for AHHH i'm just so scared right now, I feel like i'm giving Drew the constant side eye because apparently he's so talkative with everyone BUT ME and I don't want this to turn into japan version 2.0.  If we could construct an alliance of me, jess, drew and charlotte?? and the four of us go to merge?? how epic would that be? but for that to happen i HAVE to get through tonight.