#he's a gentleman (agender)! what more do you need?

[prince-liest]

In your omegaverse insecure beta Vox AU, would Vox have pretended to be an omega if Alastor was an alpha? Or would his internalized whatever not allow him to do that?

He would probably have pretended even harder to be an alpha. Most of his desire to present as an alpha isn't specifically to be the societally ideal partner for Alastor - it's to present himself as a societally ideal powerful man.

Alastor being an omega who is so effortlessly powerful grates but is something Vox is able to dismiss to a certain extent because as an omega Alastor isn't even really in the game of trying to attain acceptable alpha-hood (which has significant overlap with toxic masculinity and the persistent pressure for people to prove themselves as worthy of their own gender), but Alastor being an alpha who is still effortlessly powerful despite clearly putting little to no effort into the particular kind of showboating that Vox has to engage in to feel like he's even starting to "do it right" would just make Vox feel even more insecure standing next to him.

It would probably just shift his psychosexual obsession with Alastor from "I am going to dominate you beause that's what a real alpha does to omegas" to "I am going to dominate you to prove that I'm better at being an alpha." Cue wildly oscillating between trying to emasculate Alastor for not trying very hard to align with what Vox thinks makes a real alpha, and being frustrated that Alastor is so secure in himself despite not even trying.

[srslysierraa]

Headcanons of what is like to date Sundrop, Moondrop, and Glamrock Freddy please?

Hand In Hand.

Prompt ;; You finally confessed to him, or did he confess to you? Either way, congratulations!! Now, ever wonder what dating an animatronic is like?

Type ;; Headcanons, fluff :))

Chars. Involved ;; g. freddy, moondrop, sunnydrop [FNAF sb]

A/N ;; i absolutely LOVE that this is all of my fav characters in one place, Freddy has always been a favorite but recently sun and moon has been clinging on my heartstrings and i just hdbdusnis MOON!!!! moon my beloved. I love him sm. Anyhow, enjoy!!

Masterlist | Event

Glamrock Freddy.

First of all, YOU'RE DATING HIM????

Lucky mf.

I think we all get the gist now, he's well mannered, a gentleman, knows boundaries, always tries to help, and overall just a sweetheart.

He's literally husband material reincarnated as a robot, you better put a ring on it.

With that being said, the first one to actually confess was you!

It's not that he doesn't like you, or that he was too nervous, he just never experienced actually romantically liking someone before so it was kinda hard to differentiate between being fond of you the way friends do (just a bit more intense) or actual genuine new types of liking, loving.

When you confessed however, he was absolutely over the moon!!!

No he didn't jump over moondrop dw, that would be bad.

That aside, he's absolutely happy when you told him how you feel! Not only do you feel the same way as he is, but now he also has some clarity to what these feelings are!!

Still... He's a bit nervous.

If you're an animatronic, then he's nervous to what the higher-ups have to say about this.

Would it affect the shows?? Will the kids like it?? Will his bandmates support you two?

They absolutely support you two. Especially Chica, she's been shipping you both since day one!

Now, if you're a human? Then it's a different set of worries.

Is this even okay? Will you be happy with him? It's not like he can take you to dates or something.

And the obvious, HELLO?? YOU'RE A HUMAN? HE'S AN ANIMATRONIC?? IS THIS EVEN GOING TO WORK????

In the end, you had to shush him and comfort him that whatever happens you're going to stay no matter what!

Please give him reassurance that you love him, it's not that he doesn't know his worth, he's just really nervous and don't want to mess anything up accidentally :((( he could use the affirmations.

Now the actual relationship!!

You guys are the cutest couple in town istg.

Freddy takes you to Fazerblast dates and you almost always win!!! (He lets you win because the expression on your face when you 'beat' freddy is "to die for" -Freddy)

If you're an animatronic, you guys spend most of your day after performing and greeting kids with eachother.

If you're human, he understood that you're here to work so he'll try not to bother you!! HOWEVER, you will absolutely feel the earth practically quaking as he ran towards you to spend time when you're on your break.

Very respectful, whether you're a cis female, male, trans, bi-gender, agender, genderfluid, etc. He makes it a POINT to remember to use the correct pronouns on you. <3

If you ever feel upset, you can always come to him!!! He'll do anything that you want him to, whether it's for advices (though be warned that he's not that good when it comes to human problems outside the pizzaplex), attention, or just someone to listen to.

He'll carry you around bridal style when the Pizza Plex is closed for the fun of it tbh.

Random i love yous, and i mean RANDOM.

If you're an animatronic, "we need to prepare soon, it's almost time for our performance again. By the way, i love you."

If you're a human, "Chica went to the kitchen. You need her to repair her voicebox, don't you? Also, i love you. Oh and, is your break about to end? :("

Bear hugs, pun intended, so many bear hugs.

Either way, he's an absolute darling and i would die for this bear.

Sunnydrop.

He's an absolute Sunshine!!!

Pun definitely intended.

He's usually with kids a lot of the time so when you come visit him, he's just being crowded by little bébés and ugghhh-

It's the cutest thing you've seen tbh.

With Sunny, it's one of those situations where the confession was outta nowhere!

As in, he blurted out how much he loves you without thinking. So i guess it counts as him confessing?

While it was on accident, he really did mean it!!

He said it when you came to visit him while the kids are still around, and he immediately drags you to be next to him and introduced you to all of the kids.

Soon enough, even the little children are fond of you!! Smiling happily as Sun tells them about how much of a great person you are.

"Oooo mr.Sunny has a crush!!!" One of the kids exclaimed, and soon enough the whole room was filled with "ooo"s and "awwwe"s!

Heck, even the parents looking after the kids shook their heads while smiling, some even "ooo"'d at you too!

You are embarrassed, definitely, but you just swallowed that feeling and told everyone that you're just here to make sure the generators in the playplace were closed properly so that none of them gets hurt.

Sun being sun just tried to hushed everyone and explain how he just really really really, likes you as a friend!

"See kids! You just gotta gotta gotta, find a friend like (Y/n)!! One that you know has your back! Andyouhavetheirs, aaaand! One that is able to make happy, fuzzy and nice inside! Makes you feel like youre fLOATing just by looking at them!! So much so that your head hurts due to how dazzling they are!!"

He even go the extra mile by putting his hands by his head, dramatically falling to the ground.

"my mom said that's how she felt when looking at daddy! She said that feeling is love!!"

You blinked twice and the moment you looked at Sunny, he only looked at you back. Even he seems to be stunted. You however took this moment to tease.

"I feel that way when looking at Sunny too!"

When i told you that sent him FLYING-

He didn't really fly, but he immediately springed up and jumped AND cartwheeled his way to the wall next to him, before leaning back on it and releasing a dramatic gasp.

"EH??? YOU DO?? YOU REALLY REALLY TRULY DO???"

You're shipped by the kids now hooray!!

He'd be so happy and energetic that even the little kids are overwhelmed-

When the pizza plex closes, you better BELIEVE that sun is dragging you back to the daycare.

"(Y/NNNNN), did you mean it? Did you?? Pinky promise???"

A small celebration once you assured him that you do.

He'll be holding your hand and twirl you around, you'd need to yell his name to stop bc you feel like throwing up from spinning too much-

But he's just really happy alright!!!

Lots of arts and crafts dates!

He'll be making you a lot of random things to give to you, ranging from drawings, paper bracelets, and even a paper crown/tiara!

He'll pick you up at random too, all the while speaking so loudly he's practically yelling how much he loves you!

He's a bit wary when it comes to moon though, letting you know before hand about what to do in certain situations with Moon.

Definitely avoids the light switches like a plague, especially when you're around.

Tell him that you're okay even if moon is out! He'd be skeptical but soon enough he'll believe you.

Really adores you and wants you to be safe no matter what, it someone is being mean, he'll snatch you while yelling. "Stop being mean!! Bad, bad!!" At the person in question.

He might be all over the place but you still love him anyways.

And he loves you! Sosososososo much!!

Moondrop.

This guy... THIS GUYYYY!!!!

I love him sm hxnskxvuxk,suxbi-

HE'S SO ?????

Anyways, ahem. Back to the topic at hand.

You guys already seen eachother a lot of the time when you had to cover for a friend's shift, and you're one of the few people who's okay with him, considering even some of the workers are scared shitless when it comes to moon.

You can't say you guys are buddy buddy either, you guys are just okay in eachother's presence.

And that's exactly what got him so attached to you.

He absolutely knows how Sunny feels about you, and unlike Sunny, he's not as oblivious-

So he made it a point to himself to try and not be as "stupid" as he is (says moon) and catch feelings for you.

That backfired to say the least, and now he's on the ceiling keeping his eyes on you as you try to organize a few mechanical parts.

Romantic i know /j

He doesn't interact with you much, no matter how interested in you he is at the moment.

But he does appreciate the little "Hello, Moon!" Or "Goodnight, Moon." When you do catch him there.

Then he'll slowly warm up to you, even if you're close to Sunny already, it'll take some time before he finally opens up.

Once he does, he'll tease you every so often. Cleaning the kitchen and trying to secretly eat some of the leftover cupcakes even though you're supposed to throw them out? Or at least pay for them? Moon would suddenly calls you out as you're stuffing your own face LMAO.

"Naughty, naughty! Taking what is not yours!"

You almost choked, suddenly hearing the voice out of nowhere. You really thought you were caught.

"Oh, shush moon!" You said, though muffled with the amount of food in your face.

Soon enough he'll start actually landing on the ground, walking beside you when you're alone considering the other night guards isn't exactly fond of him.

Picking you up a lot!!! You're trying to go home? Too bad, he's picking you up and putting you in the daycare until you're basically dramatically crying for him to let you go.

He helps by trying to make things as organized as he can in the daycare at night time, that way you don't need to also clean it.

After you and Sunny dated, he'll get jealous and will try to avoid you. Thinking that you prefer Sunny over him.

Just go to the daycare and tell him that you need to do basic tests for a report, it'll take a few tries and a few threats that you'll get fired and won't be able to see him again but he'll show up.

As you're running your 'test's, talk to him about how you like him as much as you do to Sunny, reassure him will ya?

"...you prefer him."

"Nope. Wrong! I like the both of you just as much! So please stop avoiding me, alright?"

You know that you got through him once he tilts his head to the side just a bit.

He won't really nod or say yes, but he will slowly stalk be with you again!

If you're sad because of someone, he is so gonna do some war crimes to the poor person- and you can't lie saying that no one hurt you either because he was watching when it happened.

You kept yawning while on the job? He's kidnapping you and bringing you to the Daycare, telling you to rest. No he doesn't care if you're on night guard duty, you are going. to. rest.

He can guard the Pizza plex on his own don't worry.

Tell him you love him and he'll just stand there like a stunted deer in headlights.

"..fine, I'll take a small nap, but wake me up in like an hour okay? G'night Moon, love ya."

...

.....

.......

?!?!?!?

He's going to remember that for the next three weeks- or more!

Anyhow from that point on, he'll be absolutely scaring the shit out of your poor friend just so they can make you handle their night shifts, it's really mean, but it's his way of trying to spend more time with you <3.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

What I love about the gender and sexual diversity in Juno Steel isn’t just that diverse characters exist. It’s that they live in a world where their existence is taken for granted.

So many science fiction stories make diversity A Thing, even if it’s a really small and subtle Thing, and I hate it. I’m tired of it. I’m sick of far-flung futures where people live in space and have amazing technology but culture is still massively cisheteronormative, and I’m even more sick of worlds where authors try to make it so culture isn’t massively cisheteronormative but don’t lay their social groundwork so somehow make it even more of A Thing, revealing their own biases.

Juno Steel doesn’t do that. Not only are characters who aren’t cis or heterosexual everywhere, there’s no underlying assumption that they should be cis or heterosexual. Juno’s a he/him lady and at no point is this any kind of problem for anyone. In the whole series I can think of two people misgendering him (because they just met him and, like anyone when meeting a new person, go on apparent physical and social cues) and in both cases the correction just isn’t A Thing. Early in the series, he’s fighting a random thug, who tells him to “fight like a gentleman”, and he responds with ‘I’m not a gentleman, I’m a lady’ as fighting banter, and it’s treated exactly the same as if someone had called him a dumb blonde and he’d whipped a wig off and said, “actually, I’m a brunette” -- it’s not A Thing. It’s just meaningless fighting banter and they move on.

The second time, he’s at a party, undercover with his boyfriend. The hostess gets into a discussion with said boyfriend about Juno, who’s wearing a very eye-catching golden dress and very much playing up being a lady, and refers to hims as ‘she’, and his boyfriend does NOT do that stupid fucking thing that cis people always do and stop the conversation to be like “AcTuAlLy, my love’s *preferred pronouns* are -- ”, he just continues the conversation calling Juno ‘he’, and the hostess proceeds to do the same (without doing the even more stupid fucking thing of stopping the conversation to apologise, which is obnoxious and The Worst). It’s just Not A Thing.

Said hostess of the party is also trans, and until the party, had presented as a man with the world’s most eye-catching haircut (she’s a rich eccentric). At the party, nobody recognises her until she reveals her identity, not because of her gender presentation, but because she had a haircut. (It’s also a running joke in the series that sometimes someone will mention an old Earth custom that nobody else has ever heard of, like the one character on Mars who celebrates Christmas. This hostess, who has a Russian surname, changes it to the feminine form of the surname as Russians do, and explains it’s an ‘old earth custom’, which confuses the hell out of everyone -- it must get pretty complicated, changing your surname every time you get a haircut.) Her gender is just straightup Not A Thing.

Very early in the series, we meet a celebrity crime family who make a living off crime and reality TV. Imagine if the Kardashians also ran the mafia, and owned a major TV channel and several prisons and mental health facilities where they were allowed to market footage of the people inside for entertainment, privacy laws just not being a thing (or a thing they have circumvented through exploitative contracts). Everything about these people is big and over-the-top they’re terrible on purpose and if somebody dies then that’s great for ratings.

Two of these are Cassandra and her twin brother Cecil. It’s very heavily implied through the story that the pair are identical twins, and given that their voice actor’s voice is definitely not affected by testosterone, reasonable to assume that Cecil is a trans man. We can’t be sure, though, because that never comes up in the plot. Cecil has an underground torture dungeon where he films a twisted quiz show, once got himself kidnapped by gangsters on purpose for TV ratings, lost his arm in the rescue and now has a cool robot arm. Absolutely everything about him is played up and out-there and over the top for those delicious reality TV viewers. At no point is him being trans ever mentioned, even in passing. It’s not part of his persona because it’s just not interesting or unusual. It isn’t A Thing.

The agender characters aren’t A Thing. They’re just there. The gay and bisexual characters aren’t A Thing. They’re just there. Most of what we know about the sexuality of anyone is speculation based on their dating history; nobody ever comes out to anyone because there’s no need to, there’s no assumption of heterosexuality so the lack of heterosexuality isn’t a surprise. Juno can kiss Peter in one episode and Alessandra a couple of episodes later and doesn’t have to explain to anyone that he’s bisexual. Alessandra can have a fling with Juno and then get engaged and there’s no assumption that her fiance is a man, or surprise that she’s a woman.

Only twice in the series does anyone explicitly state romantic or sexual preferences -- Rita, in a strip club, is asked whether she wants the company of a man or a woman and says “just give me whatever”. (This is a reasonable question to explicitly ask in a strip club.) And Jet, in conversation, once mentions not having romantic or sexual feelings for anybody -- this isn’t explained because HEY LOOK EVERYONE ASEXUALITY AND AROMANTICISM IS A THING, LOOK AT OUR DIVERSITY, WE HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT THERE’S AN ACE GUY HERE. It’s explained because Jet overexplains and overspecifies everything. It’s a core character trait of his, and his sexuality is neither exempt from this nor given special treatment, because it isn’t A Thing.

I’m tired of stories with space travel that unconsciously reflect our own cisheteronormativity no matter how socially advanced they try to be, in the same way that I’m tired of stories with dragons in them that unconsciously reflect our own misogyny no matter how gender equal they claim to be. It’s just nice to see someone get it right occasionally.

[thegracelessfaceless]

*slithers in*

Can I request some Helen headcanons? Just like general dating him and maybe some nsfw if possible.

@mutat-ad-astra , ₐᄂᵣᵢg𝓱𝚝 yₒᵤ'ᵥₑ 𝚍ₒ𝚗ₑ ᵢ𝚝 𝚗ₒw. ᵢ'ᵥₑ 𝚋ₑ𝚌ₒᗰₑ ₐ 𝘴ᵢᗰ𝐩 fₒᵣ Hₑᄂₑ𝚗 . W𝓱ₐ𝚝 𝚍ₒ yₒᵤ 𝓱ₐᵥₑ 𝚝ₒ 𝘴ₐy fₒᵣ yₒᵤᵣ𝘴ₑᄂf??

(づ￣ ³￣)づ

ꇙꄲ ꇙ꒐ꋊꉔꏂ ꓄ꁝ꒐ꇙ ꉣꄲꇙ꓄ ꉔꋬꂵꏂ ꄲ꒤꓄ ꇙꄲ ꒒ꄲꋊꍌ, ꒐'ꂵ ꍌꄲ꒐ꋊꍌ ꓄ꄲ ꅐꋪ꒐꓄ꏂ ꋬꋊ꒯ ꉣꄲꇙ꓄ ꁝꏂ꒒ꏂꋊ'ꇙ ꋊꇙꊰꅐ ꒐ꋊ ꒐꓄ꇙ ꄲꅐꋊ, ꍌ꒒ꄲꋪ꒐ꄲ꒤ꇙ ꉣꄲꇙ꓄ ❤

ᕼᗴᒪᗴᑎ ᗝ丅Ꭵᔕ/ᗷᒪᗝᗝᗪƳ ᑭᗩᎥᑎ丅ᗴᖇ ᖇᗴᒪᗩ丅ᎥᗝᑎᔕᕼᎥᑭ ᕼᗴᗩᗪᑕᗩᑎᗝᑎᔕ

(With a fem!SO)

♡Let's just get canon out of the way real quick.

♡Helen is very calm and quiet

♡He isn't very expressive and doesn't speak much, but when he does, he's always the picture of the perfect gentleman.

♡If something doesn't concern him, Helen is pretty apathetic towards it. However, if it's something he cares about, Helen will be very passionate.

♡His parents treated him as a pet or toy, and this caused Helen to have repression issues.

♡He won't show emotion towards a person unless they show emotion first, then he will reciprocate. This is essential to remember as Helen's significant other; you'll have to make the first move every time.

♡Helen's a Libra. His birthday is October 1st

♡Helen's parents were so excited when they found out they were going to be parents. That night, Helen's mother dreamed that she had a beautiful baby girl with delicate features, the deepest blue eyes that she had ever seen, and coal black hair so fine that it looked like dark lace against the baby girl's alabaster skin. She woke up certain that she was pregnant with a baby girl that looked just like in her dream. Mrs. Otis went into labor and delivered a baby that indeed looked just like in her dream, but it was a boy. So they decided to continue on and name him Helen, and raise him as they would a little girl.

♡This treatment continued until he started school at six. Then his parents decided to dress him as and refer to him as a boy in order to not draw attention.

♡Helen still suffers from body dysphoria because of this. For a long time, Helen couldn't reconcile whether he was male or female in his mind, so he existed in a chaotic state of one, the other, both and neither all at the same time. Now- after years of therapy, and a great deal of time building his trust with Reader, Helen identifies as agender preferring he/they/it pronouns and a refined but masculine aesthetic.

♡Reader is the only person allowed to call him Helen. And even she doesn't do it often, only when she's serious. He prefers Reader to call him darling, love, honey, dear, and, if he's feeling frisky, Sir 😍. All others may refer to him by his surname, Otis.

♡Helen can be quite manipulative and his intelligence is obvious

♡While in "working" mode, Helen is very cautious of the scene he his creating, and presents every body as if it were a canvas to bear his work.

♡His fascination with blood stems from his childhood. He had always had trouble making friends, only managing one at a time and spaced distantly apart. His only childhood friend had been murdered by bullies in the park, rocks thrown at him for being friends with that "weird sissyboy kid" until one struck his temple, killing him instantly. The bullies had hurriedly buried his friend in the deep snow from the night before. Helen knew this, he had told you, because he had watched it all from his perch in a tree. After the bullies had fled, Helen had uncovered his friend and stared at his body lying in red stained snow, and the bullies later blamed Helen with his friends death. Ultimately, he had been cleared, as there had been a witness in the park.

♡The false accusations of murder didn't stop there, much to your displeasure.

♡In high school, a classmate of Helen's, one who happened to be Helen's only friend, fell from the building and died. A witness said that Helen had killed him, but no concrete evidence was found.

♡Not to say that Helen is an angel. You know he's far from that, too.

♡Later, the same year, as a freshman at university, Helen killed 17 people from his dorm building, and wounded 5 on Devil's Night (October 30th).

♡Helen was found insane by the courts as a minor and received 6 years of inpatient treatment before being released back into society.

♡He started "his work" again three years later, and then met you two years after that.

♡Helen smokes cigarettes (though not as much as Tim) and unwinds after "work" with music and a rum and Coke or whisky on the rocks.

♡Helen enjoys lofi hiphop; classical music; instrumental and instrumental covers of songs; music from the early 1960's like: Frankie Valli, The Big Bopper, the Animals, and the Zombies; and indie rock like The Flaming Lips, Harvey Danger, Dinosaur Jr, and The Smashing Pumpkins.

♡He loves discovering new music with you, listening to playlists you make him for hours. But you're gonna listen to some of his music, too and he makes playlists for you to play according to mood.

♡Helen's love languages are: quality time, acts of service, and words of affirmation. But the love languages he craves are: all of them except receiving gifts! Getting a gift is uncomfortable for Helen, especially if he has no gift to give back. He wants you to feel just as appreciated as you feel, if not more.

♡Helen thought that he was completely asexual before he met you. No one he had met had ever... Moved him in that way. And he was fine with that. Why should he mourn something he'd never even wanted?

♡And then he met you at an antique art showcase of pieces by and inspired by René Magritte. (Example here: ◎▼◎) After you spent hours together at the show, exchanging witty banter, and eventually, phone numbers, Helen found himself thinking about you that night, alone in bed. And then his mind wondered something it had never thought about anyone else. He wondered what you looked like naked. What your skin would feel like. How would you taste?

♡He frowned to himself, confused by the foreign thought for a moment before he realized that he felt sexual desire for you.

♡It still took him a long while of dating you before he felt comfortable enough to even kiss you in a sexual way. The two of you were practically engaged when he gave you his virginity.

♡Bonus wholesome content headcanon/drabble: Once you convinced Helen to bleach his naturally blue black hair. Not wanting to disappoint you, and telling himself that it was just hair, he consented and you happily set to work. An hour later, he emerged from the shower with a shock of platinum white hair 😱. He had to support himself with a hand on the back of the couch because his knees started shaking when he caught a glance of himself in the mirror over the fireplace. A long, thin fingered hand with a fine tremor lifted to cover his mouth. You knew without him telling you that he absolutely, 100%, no doubt, undisputedly hated it. His already porcelain skin had paled even more, now trembling chalk instead of bone China. His midnight blue eyes held a sort of flinching terror in them as they tried to look anywhere but the vicinity of the mantle mirror. You approached him gently and pulled the towel thrown around his shoulders loose and used his shoulder to balance you as you went up on tiptoe to finish drying his now shockingly white hair.

♡You leave Helen waiting shirtless in the living room to deal with putting his shoes and socks on and you pull on a light jacket to guard against the chill that manages to never be around when we need it during the daytime hours as you enter yours and Helen's shared bedroom. You find Helen a clean black tee shirt and pick up one of your beanies from the coatrack behind the bedroom door. This one was black with a tree frog leaping over the words Frog Leap Studios done in a typewriter font in white thread, a circle of bright blue making the frogs eye stand out.

♡You take the shirt and beanie to Helen and he pulls the shirt on. You feel a little sad that he's covering up, but there would be time to enjoy his body later. Helen sits on the couch so you can slip the beanie over his baby fine hair easier than going up on tiptoe to match his 6'2" lean frame. The bleach may have stolen its darkness, but it couldn't steal its softness. Helen's hair was probably the softest thing you'd ever touched.

♡Hair sufficiently covered, you and Helen get into your car and head to the only place open at the hour of 3:24 in the morning. Walmart. Your sleep schedule had never been normal and Helen didn't help you normalize it at all. In fact, if anything it had gotten worse, the two of you wrapped up in your own hyperfixations, leaned up against each other back to back, or one of you holding the other as one of you writes while the other draws.

♡You feel Helen's hand find your thigh and squeeze it, letting you know he's not upset with you. You reached down and covered his hand with yours, returning the squeeze and you finish out the short ride more relaxed now that you know Helen isn't mad at you. Helen follows you to the beauty section once you're inside the store. He patiently watches as you pick out boxes from 4 different companies.

♡An amused Helen watches you as you quibble with the four boxes. You shuffle through them, running through them over and over like a person considering their hand while playing cards.

♡You end up with him bending down slightly again so you can compare the dyes to his eyebrows. He thinks it's the sweetest thing that you're going through such a clear effort to fix his hair. Obviously you feel responsible for the mistake and he hates that.

♡Gently taking the boxes from your hands, he picks a random red and black one from the four you were debating between and puts the rest back on the shelf.

♡Then Helen pulls you into his arms and holds you tight and close, burying a kiss on top of your head. You smile into his chest, breathing in the scent of paint, paint thinner, lavender shampoo, and jasmine soap. On anyone else, the paint thinner smell would have made you sick. But on Helen, it just smelled like home. You two stay in your embrace, Helen swaying slightly to a beat only he could hear. A stolen moment, a stolen dance, to help ground yourselves.

♡Helen broke the hug after a few moments more, but kept hold of your hand. You walk to the checkout line and pay almost $10 for the dye. The price gave you a mild case of sticker shock, but you shook it off and smiled at the older cashier, who was beaming as her eyes moved between you and Helen. The two of you seemed to get that reaction from older people. That look of pure hope that more people got to experience the love that shone between you. You both thank the cashier repeatedly as Helen payed her the money needed.

"You two have a good night" she smiled at us, "the world needs more couples that look at each other the way you do. You look, at each other like you're reach others entire worlds."

"She is" Helen says softly, pulling me into a hug and a quick kiss, "She's my whole universe."

♡You're pretty certain that the woman's smile could not get bigger. But you didn't really want to find out, since you were starting to notice that her teeth were huge and you were starting to get squicked out by it. Helen must have picked up on your discomfort because he led you away in the protective half circle of his arm.

♡"My knight in shining armor" you croon at him as you walk back to the car, "Thank you for saving me. I am forever in your debt. However could I repay you, Sir?"

♡Helen took in a sharp breath and chuckled as he slowly let it out, "I can think of a few things."

♡"You'll have to show me when you have the time" I teased as Helen opened your car door for me. He'd taught you that chivalry was not dead, and you'd realized that it would be easier to let Helen be a gentleman than it would be to convince him that you could open your own doors.

♡You drove home and locked the doors behind you. You headed straight for the bathroom and Helen borrowed a stool from the island bar to sit on so you could reach all of his head.

♡Twenty minutes later, you threw dye covered vinyl gloves in the trash and settled an old towel around Helen's shoulders and neck to keep the dye from dripping on him. You'd clipped a pillowcase over his hair and you had just finished hitting the dye with heat to assure his hair took the dye well, absorbed it.

♡Helen smiled contentedly up at you from his spot on the stool.

♡You tilted his chin up to kiss him. He kissed you back and then sent soft kisses across your cheek and jawbone, and then kissed and nipped down your neck. Helen focused his kisses back on your lips, kissing you like the kisses would magically cure everything, would keep you alive.

♡The timer you'd set so Helen would know when to wash the dye out of his hair went off, and Helen stood

♡Having already taken off his shirt, Helen unfastened his jeans and let them slide down his legs, stepping out of them as they pooled around his feet, leaving him completely nude, comfortable.

♡instead of getting in the shower, Helen pulled you closer to the shower and used his nimble hands to liberate you of your clothes. Before you could protest, or even decide if ypu wanted to get in, Helen had pulled you under the spray of the shower and he stood in it now, extra dye streaming in lines

♡You turned Helen's back to you and massaged his scalp as the water rinsed the excess dye down the drain. When the water ran clear, you massaged some of the color protect conditioner that came with the dye and Helen switched places with you, his hands never leaving your hips so he could catch you if you slipped.

♡Helen washes your back for you and then your hair, lathering up a clean washcloth with jasmine soap and making sure not to miss a spot. Then he rubbed some lavender scented shampoo into my hair. Then he rinsed it and repeated the process before leaving some conditioner to sit in my hair.

♡Finally Helen worked some conditioner into your hair that matched the shampoo. You help Helen rinse everything from his hair and you condition his hair with the rest of the conditioner that came with the dye.

♡Showers with Helen always end up with him bathing you, his hands and keen eye not missing a single millimeter of your skin. Showers rarely turned sexual between the two of you, instead the two of you focused on the intimacy of showering together.

♡After all the soap and hair products are rinsed from both of you, Helen turned off the water and wrapped you in warm towels, quickly drying himself off and slinging a towel around his hips.

♡Helen obviously felt better once his hair was back to its natural inky darkness.

♡You could tell from the mischievous grin he wore as he escorted you to the bedroom.

AN: so I wrote on this well into the night... Fell asleep in the process a few times 😅. If you see continuity issues with the POV, let me know so I can fix it. I kept wanting to write in first person 😂

[slow-burn-sally]

JSMN SALTY ASKS: 4, 7, 19, AND 27. I'm greedy.

MORE ASKS! THANK YOU FRIEND

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*

Emma Pole/Stephen Black. They just feel like brother and sister to me, and I can't cope. Stephen/Flora? Stephen/Segundus? Heck, even Stephen/The Gentleman could all work (do I need to maybe write this? I might). But Stephen/Emma is just a huge nope for some reason. Maybe suffering through something traumatic together with a male person is too familiar to my childhood being a twin to a boy in a traumatic situation? Probably.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?*

I can't even believe I'm going to say this in tumblr public, and "can't stand" is the wrong word for this feeling, but lets just say that I feel the same way about Aziraphale/Crowley as you do about Johnsquared. I am just DONE. I am hoping the next season gets me interested in shipping them again, but I feel nothing. I admire some good fanart when it goes by, and will reblog it, but Ineffable Husbands just doesn't turn my crank anymore.

(I'm sorry, I still love Johnsquared).

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

I'll do em all just to be extra salty!

Good Omens - How petty and argumentative people got about top!aziraphale vs bottom!aziraphale, or whether the ineffable husbands are gay or ace or allosexual or agender or what have you. Let it go people. It's a cute, goofy show about heaven and hell, who cares who tops who? They can be whatever each fan wants them to be.

The Terror - Also silly drama? Outside of that, which hasn't been too bad, I kinda hate how bleak and horrible The Terror is, and how much I love it body and soul. It's hard on fans, when the canon material could send you to therapy.

Tintin - Nothing wrong with Tintin fandom. Just the antis. Tintin forever. Haddotin forever.

The Hobbit - The movies were too long and felt tacked on at certain points. I am fully aware of the story and writing flaws of those films, but I love them and I don't care. Also, I have never seen so many comments on my fics gently correcting my plot choices. WHYYYY What is up with that? Anyway, Bagginshield forever.

OFMD - too new to have anything to hate. Everyone is in love and happy.

JSAMN - Nothing at all wrong with this fandom. Zero to hate.

27. Least shippable character?

I'm gonna go out on a limb and make Norrell the third least shippable character. I ship him and childermass pretty hard, but I'm not sure how much that's sexual, and lets be honest, they have lots of issues. He seems resistant to human contact, is a raving introvert and would probs rather wack off to books than people. So yeah, he's hard to ship. Do I still do it? Yes of course. He's too cute not to.

[pagingdoctorbedlam]

Time for CP9 PRIDE HEADCANONS!

Happy June nerds, it’s time to headcanon all the assassins as queer.

Btw, Emphasis on the HEADCANONS. These are my personal interpretations as an out and proud queer, but by no mean is my word law. Make what you will of my thoughts! (And NO bashing of any identities, sexualities, or characters in this post or the reblogs.)

Now, without further ado, click that Read More!

Rob Lucci:

-Demiromantic AND demisexual. If he can't trust someone with his life, there's no chance for a relationship. -That said, will still feign interest or sleep with someone for a mission. Isn't really bothered by doing so. -Once he catches feelings though? Much as he hates to admit it, he's a flustered mess on the inside. -Even if he seems calm (or a little more irritable than normal) on the outside, he has...issues processing his feelings for others, especially since he's so unused to them. Give him some time. -Doesn't really care about gender much? He'll use masculine pronouns and presentation most of the time, as that's the default he's been raised with. But if he feels like presenting another way on occasion, why shouldn't he? Not like anyone would dare give him grief about it. -Also, on the rare times he chooses to do so, can rock a dress and heels.

Kaku:

-Pansexual, and has always been. Gender has no bearing on who he likes. -He's never been closeted, but he doesn't make a big statement about his preferences either. After all, he's a gentleman! -Prefers to go on a few dates before "knocking boots" with someone. Gets annoyed when pushed to do otherwise for a mission. -I figure he's either cis, or if he's trans he transitioned fairly young.  -Doesn't have any shame or guilt about his identity, and gets super confused if others assume he does.

Kalifa:

-Lesbiaaaaaaan -Yes, she'll flirt and sleep with any gender for work, but she only gets feelings for ladies and other femmes. -Also supports the hell out of those close to her who need help playing with presentation. Fashion tips? Makeup help? She's got ya'. -The BEST wingwoman for picking up dates. -Always knew she liked girls, but took her until Water 7 to decide she was solely sapphic.

Blueno:

-Biromantic asexual -Even though he has so many emotional barriers, he's actually super romantic once he actually warms up to someone -He's not necessarily repulsed by sex, just...not interested. He'll give it a go if his partner asks, though. -Rarely asked to seduce anyone on a mission. Is thankful for this. -Presents Cis, but honestly if he researched genders and such, he may well identify as Agender.

Jabra:

-Bisexual, but he's only recently come to terms with that. Still a little tetchy about his attraction to men. -However, he's surprisingly great with pronouns! He rarely slips up, and will correct any misgendering he hears in a heartbeat. -I mean, the entire crew would beat up homophobes and TERFs in a heartbeat, but Jabra's first in line to do so. -A good hypeman for his queer pals, and is always happy to chaperone if they want/need a bodyguard if they feel unsafe -Prefers not to seduce folks for missions (like Kaku, he'd rather take them on a date or two first), but will stick around on overwatch for others who do so.

Kumadori:

-Proudly trans and pansexual! -Was taught Life Return so he could control his hormones during puberty -The first of the group to come out as queer, which opened the way for the others -Well researched on queer histories, identity, pronouns, etc! Even performs plays about them to educate and entertain others. -Identifies as male, but is secure enough that he can be gender-nonconforming without feeling dysphoric. -Actually handles the romantic side of seduction missions well! He's a GENTLEMAN through and through. Just...don't make him cry please.

Fukuro:

-Aromantic asexual. If he's in any sort of relationship, it's platonic. -However, he LOVES the idea of romance, and has a fondness for cheesy romance novels. -Even if he doesn't feel romantic or sexual attraction for others, he can still BE romantic and such if his s/o likes such things. -Is tired of explaining that lack of attraction doesn't mean he's averse to a concept, come on guys we've been over this -I can also see him being trans, and Very Proud that he's finally grown some facial hair even if it's patchy -Please do not send him on seduction jobs, he'll over-research with his romance novels and it'll be awkward for everyone.

BONUS

Spandam:

-No one knows what his actual sexuality; they've only seen him flirt with folks who could elevate his status. (It's known that his father wants the family line to continue in some capacity.) -However, he's surprisingly protective over CP9 in that regard (one of the few reasons they listen to him)! No one misgenders or insults their sexualities on his watch. -(Okay, he'll only stand up with words, but then he'll absolutely give the insulted agent a free pass on revenge in most cases.) -Also, if a mission has a seduction element involved, he'll try to align things in accordance to the team's preferences -Cis, and he'll get tripped up over pronouns and name changes. But he does try.

Nero (I’m sorry I cannot find a gif of him here)

-Gaaaaaay -Though was also starting to question his gender identity before his untimely demise -Alas, we hardly knew ye

Bedlam (my CP9 OC):

-Openly nonbinary, they/them pronouns -Microdoses hormones to achieve a more androgynous body -Semi-genderfluid; will have days where they lean more masc or femme -Pansexual and panromantic -Lightly flirts with just about anyone, but gets super flustered if anyone flirts back -Please stop by the infirmary before your seduction mission for protection, and afterwards to make sure you didn't pick anything up, thanks

[arcade-conspiracy]

May I have a matchup please? My name's CQ, I'm 15, and I'd like the matchup to be for mha and Mystic Messenger. I'm pansexual, agender, and use they/she pronouns. I'm quiet around new people but once I warm up more I become louder and more like myself. My love language is physical touch. I love snowy days where I can lay in my bed and read all day. My favorite types of books are fantasy because I love getting sucked into the worlds. I'm not very tall,I'm around 4'11,and I have short brown hair

I match you with,,,

Ochaco Uraraka!

She will be so patient with you if you’re shy or quiet with her initially

She wouldn’t mind just existing in each other’s company

In fact I think she’d actually really like just doing your own thing in the vicinity of each other, making small talk

Once you two get comfortable though, I can see you just laying in one of your dorms talking for hours

Probably laughing and joking well into the night

I have no doubts she’d love snuggling up with you at every chance possible, too

It’s pretty much expected to find you two cuddling at any given moment after you get together

Once it’s chilly, there’s light snowfall, and she’s got a cup of hot chocolate shes never moving from your side

That’s her absolute favorite, because everything feels like it’s where it’s supposed to be

She’d watch the flurries while you read a book and have little conversations here and there

Speaking of books, she also adores hearing about the books you’re reading

She’d ask what you’re reading on any given day and hope you’d give a long winded response

She loves hearing you talk about the intricate universes the stories create and how much you love them

She may even read some of them as well, so you have something to talk about!

She may just make you read them to her, though, because she thinks it’s cute how excited you are over them

TL;DR, absolute cuties, please protect them both

Jumin Han!

This man.

This man.

He will adore you no matter what

He understands not being able to open up to others very quickly, being quite the introvert himself outside of his job

He gives you all the time you could ever need to warm up to him

Never teases you about it or anything, just let’s things happen as your comfortable

Of course he’d love to just scoop you up and give you all the love he has the first chance he gets but he’d like to be a gentleman

He doesn’t want to scare you off before you even have a chance to break out of your shell and express yourself

Once he finds out about your love of reading, though

It’s all over

He will be buying you all the books you could ever want to read and you cannot stop him

Whole ass Beauty and the Beast level library just because it’s what you like and he can provide it for you

He doesn’t really get the appeal of fantasy novels, or fiction as a whole, but he knows they make you happy

So therefore they now make him smile too

He loves watching you read, seeing your reactions to the story your obviously so engrossed in is precious to him

Especially if you’re cuddled close to him, where he can stroke your hair or arm and he pretends he’s doing work and not just watching you

He’s also constantly asking the other RFA members for reading material suggestions so he can suggest them back to you

Like I said he doesn’t really get fantasy so he has no idea what would be good or not

TL;DR, very trustworthy couple, would give partner the world if they asked

[mediaeval-muse]

Book Review

Paladin’s Grace. By T. Kingfisher. Dallas: Argyll, 2020.

Rating: 2/5 stars

Genre: romantic fantasy

Part of a Series? No

Summary: Stephen's god died on the longest day of the year… Three years later, Stephen is a broken paladin, living only for the chance to be useful before he dies. But all that changes when he encounters a fugitive named Grace in an alley and witnesses an assassination attempt gone wrong. Now the pair must navigate a web of treachery, beset on all sides by spies and poisoners, while a cryptic killer stalks one step behind…

***Full review under the cut.***

Trigger/Content Warnings: sexual content, violence

Overview: I think I came across this book while browsing Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, but I don’t remember for sure. Regardless, I decided to pick it up because the story of a paladin whose god has died intrigued me. I’m a sucker for stories about crises of faith, and I was in the mood for a fun adventure with a little angst thrown in. While the premise was very much my jam, the prose style ultimately prevented me from connecting with this book. In my opinion, it felt like the book was aimed at readers with arrested emotional development: everything felt sanitized for a younger audience (as in, there was a lot of awkward, quirky humor while nothing felt particularly threatening) yet there were also graphic sexual scenes, reminding me of a lot of New Adult stereotypes. It prevented the story from delving deep into things like what a crisis of faith might look like and how someone might navigate it, and undercut the thrill of the political intrigue. As a result, I personally couldn’t give this book a higher rating.

Writing: Kingfisher’s prose is fairly simple - simple sentences, simple images, etc. It’s pretty easy to get through, and readers can skim, if that’s what they’re into. It’s also full of “quirky humor” so that the mood is fairly light throughout. While sometimes the humor would get a chuckle from me, most of the time, it completely destroyed the mood. The best way I can think to describe it is that it resembles a lot of stereotypes I associate with New Adult fantasy books: the book feels like it’s written for younger readers, but the sexual humor/graphic sex scenes prove otherwise. Characters will make childish jokes, despite most of them being in their 30s (for example, “I wonder if you can stab someone with an ice sculpture”), or stumble over their words in what seems like an attempt to make them seem awkward (”I... um...” or “I... er... what?”). Things like “Gnnnrggzzz” and “Ohmyfuckingshitfuckshitgaaaaaaah” are written out, further making me feel like I was reading something meant to make younger readers smile. Characters rarely act their age and situations were rarely treated with the level of seriousness one would expect in reality. I personally wasn’t a fan; it made the book (and characters) feel somewhat juvenile. To be clear, I’m not against a little humor - I think humor could have been used effectively in this book, perhaps to show how Grace is a bright spot in Stephen’s otherwise gloomy life. I’m also not against light, “fluffy” romances, but I do think there’s a difference between fluff and a lack of emotional maturity.

Kingfisher also had a tendency to repeat certain things, which became irritating. Every other page, it seemed like Grace said something about how Stephen smelled like gingerbread, and it got old really fast. I also noticed that constructions like “He’s a paladin, so he...” and the like were used frequently, which did less to show me what Stephen was like and more to tell me what stereotypes are associated with paladins.

Plot: This book mainly follows Stephen and Grace as they become entangled in two main problems: 1. there is a serial killer on the loose, and his modus operandi is leaving behind severed heads, sans bodies; 2. there is a mysterious assassination plot aimed at the Crown Prince of a neighboring kingdom. To be honest, I found the serial killer plot underwhelming. It only seemed to be present to give Stephen an excuse to escort Grace places, and even when we found out who the killer was, I didn’t feel the rush of excitement or a sense of closure. I think perhaps this was because the serial killer plot wasn’t one that readers could try to piece together with the characters - at most, there was a single clue, and then it was solved (but readers can’t even predict the twist, so I didn’t feel any sense of suspense).

As for the assassination plot, I also found it underwhelming. Although it builds better than the serial killer plot, characters started acting in nonsensical - and even idiodic - ways once Grace was personally caught up the drama. I got the sense that characters were acting out of emotion and not reason, which is ok sometimes, but not ALL THE TIME. In general, I didn’t find that this assassination plot was clever, and there wasn’t much that differentiated it from other political intrigues that I’ve read in some YA fantasy.

Characters: Stephen, our hero, is paladin who previously served a warrior god, the Saint of Steel. At the beginning of the book, Stephen’s god dies (we don’t know how), and three years later, he is still struggling to find his purpose. At first, I thought I would like Stephen. He seemed like a gentleman, and he had some non-stereotypical hobbies, like knitting. I also liked that much of his personal turmoil involved some anxiety over how people would perceive him and his Order. The fear that he would succumb to a berserker rage, in particular, was an interesting bit of lore, and I thought this berserker rage could have been used to prompt further exploration of things like violence and hypermasculinity. However, as the book continued, Stephen became more and more bland. For the first half or two-thirds of the book, he resembles a 14 year old’s idea of a safe love interest in that he was perfectly chivalrous and without serious flaws. As time went on and he became more infatuated with Grace, he started getting somewhat possessive. Any man who so much as looked at grace would be subject to murderous fantasies, and while this was probably meant to show that Stephen was jealous and therefore devoted to Grace, I found it ridiculous and childish.

Grace, our heroine, is also rather bland. She’s a perfumer, which itself could have been fun, but her personality is mainly defined by her awkwardness. She also resembles a lot of YA/New Adult heroines in that she insists that she’s not attractive and that no man could be interested in her, despite at least two male characters flirting with her. It was frustrating being in her head, at times, because she would constantly say things like “normal people don’t do this,” making her seem even more awkward and “not like other people.” Her insistence on her mousiness and rather bland characterization made me wonder why anyone was in love with her at all. She moreover didn’t seem to be at qualified to handle the serial killer or assassination mysteries - in fact, I don’t think she ever uses her unique skillset (identifying scents) to help solve either mystery at all.

Marguerite, Grace’s best friend, is a bit more interesting in that she’s a spy with mysterious motivations. Marguerite is better equipped to deal with the assassination plot, as she has various contacts that feed her information and let her into places people wouldn’t normally be able to access. I liked that Marguerite was a good friend to Grace, but she, too, was a bit emotionally stunted.

Other supporting characters were interesting on paper, but because of the writing style, didn’t seem to be as compelling as they could have been. I liked Zale, the gender-neutral (or nonbinary? agender?) lawyer-priest who seemed committed to their calling to defend the helpless in court. Stephen’s fellow paladins also seemed like a supportive group of friends, and the Bishop of the White Rat was an admirable woman of force and personality. I would have liked to see more of them.

Other:

Worldbuilding: This book doesn’t have a lot of heavy worldbuilding, and it honestly didn’t need it. I appreciated the fact that I wasn’t overwhelmed with lore or facts about the kingdom - Kingfisher mostly stuck to what details were important to the plot, and for that, I was grateful.

Romance: Stephen and Grace’s romance was a little lackluster for my tastes. The main barrier to them being together stemmed from Stephen thinking he was too broken and that he might accidentally hurt her by going into a berserker rage (which... how does that still happen if his god is dead?), and Grace thinking that she is so bad at being a lover that it turns men off. Honestly, I don’t find the “I’m so broken and dangerous” angle to be very compelling. I prefer there to be other barriers to characters being together than just emotions - barriers that force some kind of character development and plot progression. In this case, Stephen and Grace don’t seem to grow much. They just get over their reservations, in part because they thought they were going to die at one point.

There were also minor scenes that made me uncomfortable. I love romance stories and don’t mind sex scenes (when they’re warranted, not when they’re gratuitous), but I hate scenes where one person has to avoid detection (by some king of city guard or something), so the other person covers them with their body and they pretend to be a person and prostitute (or something), miming sex to make it seem like they saw nothing. I just find it awkward, not funny or the basis for mutual attraction. The fact that Stephen and Grace meet this way made it all the more awkward for me to read. I guess that was the point, since Grace is a little awkward herself, but I still hate these types of scenes.

I also personally dislike when male characters are described as noticing or thinking about a female character’s bosom. Like, I get it - straight men like breasts. But I don’t want the basis of a relationship to be physical attraction. Do something else. Though I didn’t get the impression that Stephen was a creep, I didn’t like how often the author would mention that Stephen noticed Grace’s body. Grace’s breasts were mentioned a number of times, and it made me uncomfortable every time.

Overall, I felt let down by this book. While I was drawn in by the premise of a crisis of faith and a thrilling web of lies and secrecy, I was met with a formulaic romance that relied on awkwardness to make emotionally arrested characters seem relatable.

[heylinfanclub]

CANON DIVERGENT SHADOW YOUNG | WILLOW YANG

Some Headcanons (more like 13+ paragraphs of THE REWRITTEN STORY): 

(Season 1)

› Shadow was created by Chase to be the sort of perfect lackey after recognizing the disappointment of outside apprentices, a child born of dark magic and his own blood. A literal shadow for Chase, if you will. But the fact of the matter is, her potential is far greater, as her magic runs deeper and is entwined far greater with her essence. Chase keeps her in check through a talisman that binds her magic to his control.

› Despite being essentially a clone of Chase, her development was incredibly fast paced and she is born with the draconic qualities Chase adopted later in life, giving her an unnaturally greenish pallor and a serpentine disposition. Due to the speed at which she aged, she is typically more gaunt than Chase, as she burned calories faster than she could get them. › Shadow infiltrates the temple in disguise as Willow (also: Weilu), the Dragon of Metal, a sheltered girl from the valley who has spent most of her life caring for her aging parents (she says they live in the city now, and it’s f i n e, but her excuses to see Chase are always ‘I have to visit my parents’). She spends much more time there than in XC, becoming closer to the monks and struggling with her loyalties as they treat her like family and Chase treats her only as well as he treats obedient pawns (a distinct lack of interest in her growing knowledge of the outside world and ever annoyed of her distractability). 

› When Chase begins to recognize her waning allegiance, he tries to manipulate her, to tell her that the monks will reject her for who she is, for what she has done (Shadow has been used for many evil tasks, and she is very morally gray, not regretting them as much as she fears the judgement of her good friends) and for what she is. But when Shadow finally turns against him (or so, he perceives her lack of obedience as such, she may have never been truly willing to leave knowing he could do what he did next), he merely uses her magic to turn her against the monks, using her as a magic puppet. In the struggle for control, she breaks the talisman. Never having control of her own magic, the loss of structure turns her into a dragon and she runs away.

(Season 2)

›  Shadow escapes to Jack Spicer, a man who she knows is not of any real threat to her. Jack is surprised, but not unwilling to protect her, as she tries to take control of her magic and continues to struggle with her allegiance. Jack gets pretty attached to her, sympathetic to her feelings of rejection and need for isolation. He does his best to help her and in return, she began to lose some of the thorns she often had towards him, as he picked up where the monks had left off with introducing her to the modern world. Which makes it sting all the more, when the monks come for her. 

› She does learn to control her dragon form and she can shift between forms without the Lao Mang Long soup, but it is difficult. It can be easy to shift when angry and difficult to shift back unless she feels safe.

› It’s Jermaine who is enlisted to get Willow back. Jermaine is the Dragon of Wood, trained by Master Monk Guan, to unlearn what Chase may have taught him in his short time as the mans apprentice and to have someone who understands what it is like to fall for Chases charms. Jack is incredibly protective and when Jermaine suggests he’s manipulating Willow himself, Shadow comes to his defense. 

› She tries to convince them that she’s a monster, not Good and better off with Evil. It’s what she was Made for. Even Jack had reservations to such a decision, he had tried to convince her to carve her own path, to live for herself, but also hadn’t minded the idea of her sticking around. Shadows fears that the monks would be suspicious of her, fear her, or perhaps, she fears herself and what she could become. Jermaine tries to tell her that Master Monk Guan would be able to tell, that together at their temple they could help her thrive, and the transition is not a smooth one (taking likely more than one conversation, i could even see a fight breaking out as Shadow tries to scare him off), but eventually, Shadow is convinced. She slowly makes her leave of Jacks lair, leaving him with a final hug and he’s upset, but wishes her the best and says he’ll kick her butt if she shows up again. She knows he means well, and tells him he can try.

›  She takes a while to reconnect with the monks. Jermaine tells them she needs some distance. She doesn’t ever turn back into her Willow form, as it was always just a mask, and has to learn being comfortable in who she is (though she presents far more comfortably, thus differentiating herself further from being Chases clone). But after a while, the monks are invited to MMGs temple, and they find her laughing with Jermaine, dressed comfortably and trying to copy his dance moves, and after a beat of laughter halting and silence, she’s moved to tears when they eagerly accept her back into their easy friendship. 

[okay now that was mostly me writing the story here’s actual hcs] › Shadow is trans and nonbinary. As Shadow can look very similar to Chase, she’s definitely been able to pass as a younger, gaunter version of him. She doesn’t really get gender politics and is more invested in her own comfort than anyone elses’ approval. Chase just uses they/them for Shadow usually (as I hc him as agender w/ he/they pronouns), and Willow uses she/her to differentiate herself from him.

› When Willow joins the monks, she dressed pretty delicately. Billowy dresses,  and open sandals. But Kimiko is quick to recognize that Willow cannot sit in a skirt and is almost always cold. She takes it upon herself to help Willow be more comfortable, and it’s a quick switch to t-shirts, flannels and combat boots for this dragon! When she stays with Jack, she picks up painting her nails and wearing leather bracelets, as they feel grounding and familiar to the talisman she always wore (but with the upside that she can take them off as she pleases). 

›  Willow isn’t sure what she wants to be called after she rejoins the monks. So she just lets them keep calling her Willow, though she does occasionally feel a bit more ‘Shadow’ at times, whatever that means (usually when she’s being mischievous). Jack calls her Slim Shady. Chase still calls her Shadow. 

›   Shadows natural shapeshifting is three fold. She can turn into a dragon, she can turn into a shadow, and she can chameleon her colors. The Willow form was much of Chases control, she isn’t quite sure how he managed to shapeshift her features so fully. It was likely another magic placed over her. 

›   IN THIS CANON WE GET CUTE  HINTED SHAMIKO (mostly willow crushing hard on kimiko cause she’s so damn nice to her season-1ish and not knowing how to act on it), SHACK (mostly sweet platonic hurt/comfort) AND JERMILLOW (jERMAINE IS A GENTLEMAN AND SHADOW IS DEEPLY AFFECTIONATE FOR HIM).

›  But on that note, Willow ain’t ever used as a seductress in the heckin temple. She’s instead played off more as the completely nonthreatening sort, a bit of a hapless damsel who can barely control her powers (mostly because they’re being blocked) but incredibly promising martial art skills (she really has to force the lack of understanding and slip ups, because she has been training since she was born). Much like Omi, she was sheltered and doesn’t understand a lot of modern things, tends to be quiet and seems solemnly distracted much of the time, and the monks are more protective of her than anything else. As she opens up, they’re more proud of her than anything else, though maybe Kimiko and Clay who spend the most time with her may feel something (if you don’t subscribe to the gay/ace clay hc i love). 

›   SHES A D OG PERSON. 

[xnovamore]

Who I Am

@ft-wwtdp Day 23 prompt: but proud I stand of who I am

Agender Lisanna x Natsu

Read on Ao3

Lisanna was 6 when they asked Natsu to marry them.

They were sitting in a field playing with their rescue cat Happy between them. Natsu had just come back from his uncles wedding and the time spent apart weighed heavily on the little 6-year old Lisanna. So, they asked Natsu to marry them. That way the next time Natsu’s dad took him out of town, Lisanna and Happy would have to come too!

It seemed like Natsu hadn’t thought about it like that. He turned bright red and immediately turned away from them. It took some coaxing, but Natsu finally warmed up to the idea and they excitedly chatted about their future married life with a big ceremony and a house and Happy. Everything was going great, until the dress came up.

“But why do I have to wear the dress.” Lisanna argued back, their face turning red in resistance.

“Because!” Natsu yelled back. His face was red too but that was to be expected given how long they’ve been arguing this. “I told you that all the girls in the wedding were wearing dresses! You have to wear one too!”

“I won’t be your wife then!” This time Lisanna turned away pouting. Of course, they didn’t mean it, they were just extremely frustrated in that moment and mistakenly thought Natsu was the cause.

“Fine! I don’t wanna get married anyway!” He turned away from her again in a poor attempt to hide how deep their words affected him.

They sat stewing in silence until Natsu reached over and touched their elbow. “Do you really not wanna get married anymore?”

“No.” They answered truthfully. “But, I don’t wanna wear a dress. Do I really have to wear a dress for us to get married?”

Lisanna hated dresses. They were constricting and made people look at them different. When they wore dresses Mirajane wouldn’t let them play rough with Natsu like they usually do and Natsu’s dad always said she looked like a young lady before telling Natsu to “act like a gentleman when playing today”. For some reason, dresses made people look at Lisanna differently. There’s no way they were wearing one on their wedding day.

Natsu went quiet for a few moments so Lisanna petted Happy and pretended that his next words wouldn’t make-or-break their future.

“I know! I can wear the dress!” Natsu jumped up excitedly.

“Really?! You’d do that for me?”

“Of course, Lis, you’re my best friend. I’d do anything for you.”

They tackle-hugged him causing the two to roll down the steep hill but neither cared. They were so happy when they went home that night to tell Mirajane and Elfman that they were marring Natsu and Natsu was wearing the dress that they didn’t notice the look Mira and Elfman exchanged.

…

A few boys in school heard talk of the wedding and Natsu in a dress. Natsu hadn’t come to their usual after school meeting spot so Lisanna ran to his house. They found Natsu and Gray with split lips and bruised knuckles dragging each other up the steps.

Lisanna still doesn’t know what happened that day but Natsu had cursed about “stuck up jerks” for an entire month while his and Gray’s bruises healed.

They didn’t talk about weddings anymore after that.

….

When Lisanna was 13 Mirajane pulled them aside before they left for school.

“You know you can talk to me about anything Lis, right?” Mirajane’s expression was so open and earnest that Lisanna felt bad for not knowing what she was talking about.

“Yeah I know that Mira.”

“So, is there anything you want to tell me?” She looked pointedly at Lisanna’s borrowed clothes. Lisanna looked down at Natsu’s shirt and pants that she stole from his room months ago. There were plenty like it up in their room including shirts taken from Gray and Lyon that the boys never wore, slacks Lucy got them for their last birthday, old jackets and other clothes from Levy, and more than a couple of pants taken from Natsu’s floor. Along with that were the skirts and blouses Mirajane had brought at the beginning of the year. Lisanna still wore most of them (there's a pale blue sweater they really love that's soft like Happy's fur and a really pretty skirt that matches it), but their choice in clothes had definitely changed from what their sister usually brought before.

Still, they looked back up at their sister confused. “Um, no?”

“Okay.” Mirajane nodded her head rapidly. “That’s perfectly okay if you don’t know yet. There’s no rush and hey, who says you can’t explore? Just know that when or if you do figure it out, you can tell me anything Lisanna.”

They didn’t answer, just hugged Mirajane tight.

…

The conversation with Mirajane made a lot more sense in the following weeks. It was easy to understand what was going through their siblings’ minds when Mirajane was offering to pay for them to get their hair cut short and Elfman was telling them how manly they looked every time he saw them wearing Natsu’s clothes.

Oddly enough, the “manly” comments bothered them just as much as the “young lady” ones did. They just wanted to be able to exist without someone peering at their clothes or hair or body to determine what label to put on them. Why couldn’t the world be like Natsu who didn’t care what Lisanna was called. In his eyes it didn’t matter what they looked like or what they were wearing, they were his Lis and that was enough for him.

(Lisanna loved him for this, but they wouldn’t tell him. Not yet.)

…

At age 15 Lisanna sat their siblings down and told the two they used they/them pronouns. It wasn’t that they were still exploring and needed time to find themself along the binary, but that they didn’t fit anywhere and trying too was stressing them out. Lisanna wasn’t ‘she’ nor ‘he’ but them. Mirajane and Elfman nearly squeezed them to death with the force of the family group hug and they loved every second of it.

..

At age 17 Natsu took them back up that hill and shyly asked if he could call them partner. Lisanna kissed-tackled him in response. They rolled down the hill again bigger and even happier than before when Natsu leaned down and whispered,

“We’re gonna get married one day.”

And Lisanna wanted it so bad. Wanted to stand at the altar in their suit waiting for their future husband to walk down the aisle. Wanted Natsu in a dress, out of a dress, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that they could both stand at the altar proudly being themselves knowing that the other accepted them in every way.

Lisanna couldn’t wait for their wedding day.

[snarky-sims-witch]

The rules are simple! Tag people and name a character you want to know more about! If you want to let the person you tagged decide who to showcase, then don’t name a character and they can pick somebody. Easy! The person who is tagged will then bold the remarks below which apply to their character &, if they want to, include a picture with their reply!

Thanks for the tag @izayoichan! Here’s Nathen and I think I got tagged to do Edmund, too, so that’s coming a little later.  I’m not tagging anyone specific just because this has gone around simblr so much that basically everyone I follow has posted it for several of their characters already, lol, but if you want to join in on the fun, feel free!

[ PERSONAL ]

$ Financial : wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty  (he was born wealthy but married into a family with moderate wealth) ✚Medical : fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable ✪ Class or Caste : upper / middle / working / street trash / slave / unsure ✔ Education : qualified / unqualified / studying / other  (his memories show he graduated from university, although he doesn’t appear to be a university townie and he couldn’t have been more than 20 when he married Grace. Interesting...) ✖ Criminal Record : yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed (I think verbally abusing your wife and deliberately taking advantage of a grieving mother should count as crimes.)

[ FAMILY ]

◒ Children : had a child or children / has no children / wants children ◑ Relationship with Family : close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased ◔ Affiliation : orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent(s) / not applicable

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES ]

♦ extroverted / introverted / in between ♦ dis-organised / organised / in between ♦ close minded / open-minded / in between ♦ calm / anxious / in between ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between ♦ cautious / reckless / in between ♦ patient / impatient / in between ♦ outspoken / reserved / in between ♦ leader / follower / in between ♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in between ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between ♦ traditional / modern / in between ♦ hard-working / lazy / in between ♦ cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown (Technically, he’s cultured by virtue of his birth, but you’d never know it by the way he acts... what a pig.) ♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown ♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown

[ BELIEFS ]

★ Faith : monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic / don’t care ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✮ Belief in an Afterlife : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✯ Belief in Reincarnation : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ❃ Belief in Aliens : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✧ Religious : orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ❀ Philosophical : yes / no

[ SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ]

❤ Sexuality : heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual ❥ Sex : sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favourable / naive and clueless ♥ Romance : romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favourable / naive and clueless / romance suspicious (He’s not interested in meaningful relationships. Just sex.) ❣ Sexually : adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious ⚧ Potential Sexual Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all (He’s married but only out of social obligation. He’d be happier if he could just sleep around with no social expectations attached)

[ ABILITIES ]

☠ Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none (Every Ivy League gentleman is practiced in the noble sport of fencing, after all). ≡ Literacy Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✍ Artistic Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✂ Technical Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

[ HABITS ]

☕ Drinking Alcohol : never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / alcoholic ☁ Smoking : trying to quit / quit / never / trying it / rarely / sometimes / frequently / chain-smoker (A cigar among friends in the lounge is only polite, after all). ✿ Recreational Drugs : never / quit / trying it / rarely / sometimes / frequently / addict ✌ Medicinal Drugs : never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess ☻Unhealthy Food : never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater $ Splurge Spending : never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic ♣ Gambling : never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler (Certainly. Gentlemen need something to do while they enjoy their cigars, don’t they?)

[anemic-phoenix]

My speech

People of this earth, I’d like to thank you for giving me a chance by listening to this speech. If you noticed how I didn’t start out with the classic “ladies and gentleman” introduction then you should know I have my reasons for doing so. My first reason is that I don’t believe that phrase works anymore, there are too many new categories for that to be sufficient. My second reason? Well... it’s because I’m just weird like that!! (pause for laughter) Today, there are so many new categories of people… if you can give me a second, I’d like to list them all. Okay, here they are: Cisgender, Transgender, Transsexual, Male to Female (MtF), Female to Male (FtM), Binary, Non-Binary, Genderfluid, Agender, Bigender, Polygender, Neutrois, Gender Apathetic, Androgyne, Intergender, Demigender, Greygender, Aporagender, Maverique, Novigender, Trans Feminine, Trans Masculine, and, of course, there are those that choose not to identify as anything. Now, I know I probably just spent a while listing names and a couple of you are wondering, “ what’s her point?” My point is that the world as we know it is still changing and will continue to change for a while to come. Instead of shunning change, the time has come for us to embrace it! Now, if any of you are thinking I’m almost done, you’re wrong! I’m just getting started! For a long time, I’ve known I was much more different than my fellow peers. I’ve always been more ready to accept people as they were. Someone once told me I had a knack for finding the light in someone when all anyone else could see was the dark, but that wasn’t it. I chose to ignore the dark, in order to bring out their light… and you know what? It worked every time. Little by little, they would behave differently around me… even in front of their friends. I earned their trust by accepting their differences and, in turn, they accepted mine. This is how we need to go about life! We need to stop trying to stop people from changing and instead accept that they are changing in order to be able to accept it! As the great Charles Darwin once said, “ It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.” Now gender acceptance isn’t the only topic I want to talk about. I want to talk about sexuality acceptance as this is also a very controversial topic. I could list all the different sexualities but that would take too long, instead, I’m just going to motor on. All over the world, you hear horror stories of people being beaten to death because of their sexualities. I just don’t get it! There is nothing wrong with being who you are!! Difference is a wonderful thing that we need to embrace with open arms!! "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."--(Harvey Fierstein) This is a wonderful quote, is it not?!  You are not a victim unless you allow yourself to be made into one. Every time you get called a name, every time someone hurts you... all you need to remember is that the only power anyone else has over you is the power you give them! If they want to call you sick, or twisted, or even… an abomination… just remember…the only abominations are the people who hurt others for no reason. Not the people who love another differently! Being queer in my eyes is absolutely an amazing thing to be!!! To be perfectly honest... "The only queer people are those who don't love anybody."--(Rita Mae Brown) you know what? I’ve never heard a truer statement. Even asexual people can feel love, just not of the sexual kind! You see, there is nothing wrong with being bi, gay, trans, les, or even nothing at all. All that matters is what kind of person you are on the inside. You can love anyone you want to, or don’t want to, as long as you continue to be the best person you can be, regardless. Need an example? Well, here. Let’s say I have a friend. He just so happens to be bisexual. (I’m not gonna mention names for privacy purposes) before he came out, he had a lot of friends and was well-liked at school. However, as soon as he came out, people started dissing him and ditching him left and right. How genuinely messed up is that?! He was well-liked and had a lot of friends when he liked only girls… but as soon as he said,” oh, I think I like guys too.”, people were like,” see ya!”. he didn't even do anything wrong! his only crime was being himself.. how sad is that? Over and over again I hear the same old horror stories. Honestly, I’m way past the crying point. Now I’m just mad. Mad that people would treat someone differently because of who they love. Mad that people are being KILLED because of who they love. Mad that there are these ignorant imbeciles, who think it’s okay to bash someone because of who they love! Who do they think they are, really? Don’t they realize that they aren’t perfect either? If they were gods maybe I would understand… wait, I take that back, I don’t care if they were gods, they still shouldn’t act the way that they do! People are people and that is that! I'm all agitated now, so I'm just going to end my speech with a promise:I will not stop, I will not rest, I won’t even take a breather, until the day that these people are treated with the kindness and respect they deserve! Thank you.

[acetokens]

My (post game) opinions on the ndrv3 cast

Alright, before the game came out I made this post where I basically vomited out my opinions on how I felt about the newly revealed ndrv3 cast onto a post and it was 50% jokes, 50% venting at fangirls. But now I've actually played the game, delved into the fandom and looked at the changes between the Japanese and English versions, I feel I can make a more genuine list of how I feel about all these good kids that deserved better. I realize my opinions are just that, and I’m probably yelling into the void here. But I felt I had to do a followup to the last post because MY GOD WAS I WRONG ABOUT (MOST) THINGS. I've listed every character in ‘favorite to least favorite’ order for convenience sake. Also this post will contain Spoilers. You have been warned.

Placed under a break for your skipping convenience. Ya’ll are welcome.

1. Himiko Yumeno - I absolutely adore everything about Himiko. Her design, her lazy attitude, her voice (NYEH), her development across the game to become a more driven and energetic person...I found her really funny, really cute and oddly relatable. Himiko is probably in my top 5 DR characters of all time. Which is even crazier when I remember she’s one of the few survivors. I've never had a favorite character who survives a killing game before. So unlike past Dangan Ronpa games where my interest sorta dies off by Chapter 6, Himiko kept me fully invested in everything until the end. She’s a special bean and I love her.

2. Gonta Gokuhara - Continuing the DR trend of a Big Guy who’s a Big Friend, Gonta was so good and so pure and so friendly and deserved so much better. He was always trying to do his best and protect everyone until the very end. R.I.P Gonta. You were a true gentleman. Chapter 4 can suck my ass.

3. Tenko Chabashira - I literally D E S P I S E D Tenko when she was first revealed. I hated her stupid, sexist guts. But come Ndrv3′s release and Tenko turned out to be a dorky, kind, protective and strong willed girl who was skilled enough to be admirable but pathetic enough to be pitiable at the same time. I loved her undying adoration of Himiko (even if it was a bit creepy at times) and the two make a really cute ship. I was expecting some kind of tragic backstory in her FTE’s to explain why she hates men (I believe she mentions a drunken father at one point, and I really wish they went more into that), and the lack of a reasonable explanation for such a strong hatred is what prevents her from sharing (or even taking) the top spot in my book. But misandry aside, Tenko is a Great Gal and I wanna hug her. Although she’d probably bodyslam me.

4. Kirumi Tojou - Kirumi was my favorite when all the characters were revealed at first. I made multiple posts about how I’d die for her and how she was beautiful and whatnot and I was confident about two things when the game came out: 1) She’d be my favorite. And 2) She’d die - following in the footsteps of all previous ‘best girls’ before her. And well, I did really like her. Just...not as much as I thought I would. Kirumi is efficient, brave, elegant, caring and has a really cool design. But her talent occupies most of who she is as a person, and she isn't too dissimilar to most maid characters in anime or manga. So it made her quite predictable at times and I feel they could’ve done so much more with her..ah well. Kirumi is still a super awesome maid and a great Mom. Even if she hates being called that.

5. Kaede Akamatsu - Ahh...I remember when I was wishing someone else would be our protagonist when she was first announced...I think I cursed it. Because Kaede was just *incredible*. She was headstrong, perceptive, kind and left such a big impact on me after Chapter 1. You know that ‘Do It For Her’ meme? Yeah, that about summarizes the rest of Ndrv3 for me. Also Kaede is a huge gay and all the Ndrv3 girls are her girlfriends, pass it on.

6. Ryouma Hoshi - Congratulations to Ryouma for being the only non-standard design character not to be terrible. Far from it, in fact. Ryouma is a badass! A lil’ badass with such a depressing backstory and death that when they showed his motive video, I let out a single manly tear. Or several. Or many. I just...I just want this man to be happy...

7. Miu Iruma - Miu has zipped up and down my lists more than any other character. I had her ranked highly pre-game, lowly during the game, and mid/high post-game. Her design and talent are really cool and she makes several neat inventions over the course of the game, but her personality was so damn prickly and vulgar that I found her really offputting while she was alive. It was only after finishing her FTE’s and seeing her Love Hotel scene that I realized holy shit this girl has some serious trust and abandonment issues. It put all of her behavior in perspective and I began to feel really sorry for her all of a sudden. The hurt/comfort potential here is just WAITING to be uncovered but, alas, most Miu fanfics I've come across are just smut or crackfics. Out of all the Ndrv3 girls, Miu deserves the most headpats. Lots and lots of headpats.

8. Kaito Momota - A good, supportive friend and an effective comic relief. His optimism was a bit grating for me now and again (I never like it when DR plays the ‘’Oh we should just believe in him/her because s/he’s our friend :)’’ card because of how biased it always is. Like, DR will sometimes bend over backwards and completely 180 its own rules to make sure certain characters survive. In a game where finding the truth by objective evidence and fact is key, the times where it just says ‘’nah fuck the truth who needs proof just b e l i e v e’’ just feel so...stupid). But criticisms of the series aside, Kaito is a bro and he’s great. Who doesn’t love the luminary of the stars?

9. Kokichi Ouma - I realise putting the most popular character at 9th is going to make hoards of fangirls despise me but!!!! I don’t dislike Kokichi. In fact I like him a lot. His character is probably the most enjoyable to analyze out of everyone, his interactions are hilarious but also disturbing, the Kokichi memes are funny, and I too think the changes they made to his dialogue in the English translation was utter bullshit (almost as greater character assassination as Mukuro in the DR3 anime). But, I really love most of the characters in the game which leaves characters I’m torn on (like Kokichi or Kiyo) hovering at a position which makes it seem like I dislike them when actually I enjoy them immensely. Just...not as consistently as some of the others. Also Chapter 4 was an kick to the nads that I can’t get over. Sorry Kokichi.

10. Korekiyo Shinguuji - I was prepared to LOVE this guy so much. Seriously. I was ready for the moment where it would turn out creepy noodle man would be turn out to be a Wholesome noodle man. But uh, I think I’m with the rest of the fandom when I say that Korekiyo’s reveal as the SHSL incestuous serial killer made me drop him faster than Kirumi dropped in her execution (sorry). So, now I've establish Kork is the *real* Worst Boy...why did I put him at 10th? Why not 15th? Especially considering he killed Tenko? Truthfully, it’s the memes. Just...the Kork memes. And the fact he’s such an awful person and so obviously a murderer that it becomes genuinely hilarious to me. And his design is my favorite out of all of them. I’m so split on him. So, so split...

11. K1-B0 - Keebo made me laugh a bunch of times, and I enjoyed him more than I thought I would initially. Also his upgrades in Chapter 6 were badass as fuck. But I just don’t really feel the same affection for him like I do other characters. I’m afraid cute robot girls will always be my weakspot. Cute robot boys...not so much. (Although I’m all for Agender! Keebo that’s my jam).

12. Shuichi Saihara - This is the point in my list where I finally reach true neutral. I have no feelings on Shuichi either way. He’s deeper and has a more interesting plot arc than Makoto, which makes him a more effective protagonist in my opinion. But Hinata will always be the best protagonist in my book. And I just keep picturing what it would’ve been like if Kaede survived instead...

13. Rantaro Amami - I never understood why he was uber popular before the game came out and I don’t think I understand why he’s so popular now either. I have no negative feelings on the guy; he’s mysterious and has a ‘big brother’ attitude that I like. But the poor dude just died too quickly for me to feel anything for him. 

14. Maki Harukawa - I only dislike three characters in this game. Maki is one of them. I knew *exactly* what kind of character she was going to be and I knew I wouldn’t like her much and I knew she was going to survive. I didn’t guess she was going to be an assassin! But outside of that, There isn’t much going for me for me. The tsundere is never an archetype I like and the fact the deaths in Chapters 2 and 5 are partly her fault and no one calls her out on it is kinda frustrating also. 

15. Angie Yonaga - Angie’s creepiness is her most appealing trait to me. That should explain how low the bar is set here. Its difficult to write what I feel about her without coming across as a salty atheist (because most of her problems revolve around her use of her god to manipulate people) so I’m just going to leave it there.

16. Tsumugi Shirogane - Y’know I distinctly remember labelling Tsumugi as ‘’Hifumi but likable’’ on my previous Ndrv3 opinion post. I was wrong. She was hovering around mid/low level for me while I played the game, and I often forgot she existed (kinda funny considering her self admitted plainness) and her references were quite obscure a lot of the time so I didn’t find her funny either. I didn’t dislike her, I just forgot her. Then Chapter 6 happened and everyone knows the rest. It’d be difficult to truly ‘like’ Tsumugi after her reveal as the mastermind, after all. Although she was certainly entertaining when she started cosplaying as all the previous characters and I did like how her eyes glowed when she went all DanganRonpa crazy. I did actually consider putting her above Angie for those reasons, but if I dropped Kokichi’s placement because he killed Gonta then I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t slamdunk Tsumugi into last place for technically being responsible for everyones’ deaths as well (well, responsible as part of Team DanganRonpa. I understand it wasn’t *entirely* her behind it all). You know there’s a problem when *Hifumi* looks pure in comparison...

If you read through all of this, then congratulations? I don’t know how to end long ass posts like this...just pretend I said something witty. 

I need sleep.

[anime-matchmaker-blog]

Matchup for HQ!!, Free!, and KNB, please? I'm an agender INTP who's also a Sagittarius. I'm rather intelligent, if I say so myself. I'm pretty well knowledgeable with each academic subject and other subjects. I tend to blurt out random facts during random times. I have a terrible habit of biting the inside of my lower lip whenever I zone out or get nervous. I'm very anxious in crowds or with new people so I would rather stay indoors than go out and socialize. 1/3 EM

When I do socialize, I’m sarcastic and blunt, which puts people off. I also have a short temper but I tend to bottle things up whenever I can until I explode. Then no one’s safe from hurtful words. I’m stubborn to the max and will literally fight (verbally) my way through everything and anything. I do know when to back down though, especially if I’m wrong. I tend to get very flustered and very stiff if I’m shown affection since I’m not very good at expressing my emotions or affections. 2/3 EM

However, if I’m close to you, I can be very affection to the point of clinginess. It seems like I can’t take care of myself but I’d rather be the worrier than the one being worried on. I spend my time reading or writing with music in the background. I also really love space and nature. I’m a plant nerd. I mainly write stories or poems and read fiction since they help me with my anxiety. Thank you so much for doing this! 3/3 EM

Sorry for taking so long, anon! Thanks for your patience and I hope you’ll like your matches! C:

Your matches are…:

IwaizumiHajime (Haikyuu): Getting paired up for a class project is howIwaizumi first gets to know you. He knows ofyou, what with being in the same class and all, but he’s never had a reasonto talk to you until now. He’ll ask you for your thoughts on the projectsubject and proceed to brainstorm ideas on what you two should do. Iwaizumi canbe rather gruff (and look a bit intimidating) and his sentences might be a bitshort too, which could lead to making you feel nervous. Even though he’s aclassmate, the lack of interaction between the two of you would make it so thathe’s not someone you’re familiar with. Iwaizumi can be pretty observant andeven when working, there’s a chance he’ll notice the subtle change in yourdemeanour and look towards you, sometimes catching you biting on your lip. It’sa small movement though, so majority of the times, he’ll miss it. He isn’t oneto talk much either, only speaking up when there’s something about the projecthe needs to ask you or discuss. If you just so happen to blurt out some randomfacts during this time, he’ll likely raise an eyebrow at you but not give ittoo much thought. Random, yes, but everyone has their own quirks.

The two of you end up getting a high mark on your projectwhich makes Iwaizumi feel glad and also pretty impressed with you. He didn’tthink you were dumb or anything, just that you being this knowledgeable caught himoff-guard, in a good way. After this, if he somehow ends up making eye contactwith you around the school or in class, he’ll nod at you as a greeting or evensay, “hey” if you two are in close proximity. While being partnered for thatproject let the two of you get to know each other a bit, there aren’t manyreasons afterwards for you two to talk. That is, until exams happen andIwaizumi finds himself struggling. Of course, he’ll turn to his friends andfellow third years for help first, but if that fails, you’ll appear in his mindand his friends will certainly push him to ask you for help (Oikawa definitelywill have ulterior motives for doing so). He’d be rather hesitant at asking foryour help though the request is made rather straightforward. If you agree tohelp him though, he’ll definitely make sure to repay you somehow. Iwaizumiknows you’re smart, but it still surprises him at how knowledge you are on allthe different academic subjects. He might ask you a bit about your hobbies orwhat you like to do in your free time, considering how you’re spending yourprecious time right now helping him study. If his questions make you feelawkward or nervous, Iwaizumi won’t pressure you to answer him, turning back tothe practice questions instead or changing the topic by asking you for anexplanation of what he’s trying to understand.

Iwaizumi will be grateful to you for helping him with hisstudies and after exams, try to pay you back. This will likely include him askingyou about things you like but if you don’t give him an (satisfactory) answer,his friends will step in to “help” until eventually he ends up with tickets tothe planetarium. Iwaizumi only intends to give them to you so you can go with afriend or whomever you wish, but somehow, he ends up accompanying you. Itstarts off rather awkward but as the two of you walk through the planetariumlooking at the exhibits, you both relax a bit. Casual small talk isn’tsomething Iwaizumi excels at but the exhibits help him start conversations andhe gets to hear about your love of space, which then leads to you informing himabout your love of nature also. That part piques Iwaizumi’s interest and he can’thelp but ask you a few more questions, being curious as to why. He can’t helpbut find it cute how into plants you are. After this excursion, Iwaizumi findsit easier to speak with you and he casually does so whenever he happens to seeyou around the school and in class too.

The more he talks with you, the more drawn to you hegets. He’s seen plenty of your introverted side and your sarcastic side doescatch him off-guard the first time he’s exposed to it but considering how hehas to put up with Oikawa’s antics on a daily basis, nothing phases him much.Iwaizumi can be rather blunt at times too and while your sarcasm might piss himoff from time to time, normally it’d be something he won’t have too muchtrouble handling. You can expect him to question you or ask you to be lesssarcastic when it becomes too much. Your tendency to blurt out random facts isseen as even more endearing by him and each time you do so, he’ll end upchuckling in amusement. There might be some problems between you two if an argumentever arises, what with your short temper. Iwaizumi has some patience but he’s not a saint and will blow up. If a verbal argument ensues, then there willdefinitely be a lot of loud yelling on both parts and you both will probablyend up hurt. It’ll take a while of cooling off for Iwaizumi before heapproaches you again, with an apology if he’s in the wrong or wanting to talkthings out if he believes you were in the wrong. It will mean a lot to himthough when you back down because you know it was your wrongdoing, but he’llalso apologize then for escalating the problem. If someone else is the sourceof your problems and you end up exploding on them, Iwaizumi will first try tocalm you down since throwing hurtful words back and forth won’t settleanything. He might get a tad annoyed with your stubbornness and your tendencyto bottle up your feelings until the cap blows off, and will try to talk to youabout this. It’s not a healthy way to cope and while Iwaizumi himself isn’tspared from being stubborn to a fault, he’ll acknowledge that and attempt toget both you and him to be less stubborn.

Iwaizumi isn’t the best at showing affection physicallysince it’s not something he has much experience with. However, he does littlethings for you that shows he care, like walking you home after school when hecan (or if you wait for him to finish practice), making sure you’re warm duringthe winter, getting you little gifts and snacks from time to time, and justbeing a gentleman. It’s after a long while before he attempts to hold yourhand, and that’s only when it’s just the two of you. Seeing you stiffen orbecome flustered will likely change his mind, unless you verbally tell him it’sokay. He certainly doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable and won’t mind takingthings slow for you. He’ll be quite happy to receive your affections, though he’llbe a blushing mess if it’s in public. Your clinginess will bother him to somedegree but Iwaizumi will talk with you about it to see if you can tone it down.As much as he’s okay with you worrying over him, it can be overbearing too. He’lldefinitely want to take care of you though, especially if your anxiety gets thebetter of you. Spending time with you lets him see how you cope and Iwaizumiwill have no qualms with giving you space and silence to do your reading andwriting with your music to make you feel better.

TachibanaMakoto (Free): A nice and caring guy to most people that hecomes across, Makoto appears to have a calm demeanor, making him seem prettyapproachable. He isn’t the type to randomly go up to people to start aconversation though, so despite having taken notice of you around the schoolfrom time to time, he wouldn’t think to approach you to speak with you. Italways intrigues him how he manages to catch a glimpse of you during break timereading a book or writing into one. It’s when his friends, especially Nagisa,takes notice of him occasionally glancing in your direction when they walk pastyou that they ask him what’s gotten his attention. Makoto would deny everythingand that his eyes were just wandering around but of course, Nagisa wouldn’tbelieve that and eventually, he’d spill everything. The blond would mostcertainly interfere, much to Makoto’s dismay, and approach you with a happysmile, pointing out that Makoto wants to talk to you. He wouldn’t know any ofwhat Nagisa’s said to you though, and would then approach you afterwards, toapologize for Nagisa bothering you.

Makoto is at first too caught up in apologizing to noticemuch of anything about you and it’s only when he straightens himself that hesees how nervous you are, to which he’ll apologize again and leave, feeling atad embarrassed. However, if the times after that he somehow manages to meetyour eyes, he’ll offer you an awkward smile in greeting. Nagisa, backed by Reiand even Haru, would try to pester him into talking with you again, consideringhow it looks like he always searches around for you when it’s lunchtime. Hedoes so, only if to get them to quiet down, but Makoto has no idea on what toeven say to you! He tries though, starting off with yet another apology forlast time, and seeing how there are a few books with you (that don’t look liketextbooks), asks you what you’re reading, if you don’t mind him asking. Helistens intently, finding what you’re saying to be intriguing. He not an avidreader per se, but he still likes books. What’s more interesting though is howyou like to write stories, though that’s just something Makoto deduces from howoften he sees you writing into a book. He tries bringing it up, not that hewants to pry, but just wants to tell you how cool he thinks that is, though thesmall action of you biting your lip and your body movements clearly indicateyou aren’t comfortable with this. Makoto will back off and try to change thetopic, not wanting to make you feel nervous or uncomfortable.

These mini conversations happen periodically, always withMakoto approaching you with a friendly smile. As awkward as the conversationsbecome sometimes, with the silence and all, it’s not that difficult to grow abit comfortable around Makoto. When you zone out and stop paying attention towhat he says does catch him off-guard the first couple of times and if henotices you chewing on your lip again, he might think he’s making youuncomfortable. When he finds out that’s just one of your quirks, he awkwardlylaughs in relief. Another thing about spending time with you is that Makotogets to experience your tendency to blurt out random facts. It definitelysurprises him at first and he’ll likely question you about whatever it was youjust said but after a few times, he can’t help but chuckle and find it anendearing trait of yours.

As enjoyable as getting to know each other is, it’ll takesome time for Makoto to familiarize himself with your blunt and sarcasticnature. It doesn’t put him off per se, it just catches him off-guard. Though,there’s a limit to how much sarcasm Makoto can take in one sitting. He israther weak-hearted and when your temper explodes, he’d definitely be frightenedat first, hesitating on what to do and how to approach you. He’d definitely geteasily hurt by your words if they’re ever directed at him. He’s not a fan ofconflict and would rather talk things out civilly instead of a verbal fight. Ifsuch conflict does arise and escalates into a full blown argument, Makoto woulddefinitely get exasperated and upset, walking away to calm down. After sometime to cool off, he’ll approach you again, wanting to try talking out theproblems again. He’ll apologize for escalating the conflict and apologize somemore if he believes he’s in the wrong. It’s appreciated when you recognize that you’re the one in thewrong and apologize to him. Makoto is also someone that bottles his feelings andthings that bother him, but instead of exploding, he just keeps them lockedaway. Neither way is a healthy way to cope though, and from the arguments, helearns that you both need to find better ways to deal with negativity andproblems.

Being a rather gentle person, he might be a bit shy whenit comes to showing affection at first, especially in public. He’ll try though,and at seeing you stiffening and getting flustered, will likely withdraw andtry again way later. He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable, and if you’renot up for holding hands then that’s fine with him. Makoto won’t hesitate tomake you a homemade lunch though, if you’re okay with accepting that from him,and he’ll be more than happy to take you out to the park where you two canenjoy nature and look at the different flowers, or go stargazing at night whenthe weather permits. It’d actually make Makoto very happy to have you beaffectionate towards him, since then that means you two have grown reallyclose. Your clinginess wouldn’t bother him toomuch either. It’s great how you want to be the one that worries over others butnothing will stop Makoto from worrying over you. That’s just how he is.

KagamiTaiga (Kuroko no Basuke): Not the best person when it comes tointeracting with unfamiliar people, Kagami might come off as ratherintimidating and hard to approach. He isn’t one to pay much attention to hissurroundings unless he has to or if something catches his interest, so it’shighly likely Kagami might stumble into you in the halls. A quick apology wouldspill from his lips before he dashes off, either to basketball practice or toclass, without sparing you much of a glance. It’s when exams roll around andKagami’s grades are found to be less than stellar that he gets a chance to interactwith you. At the recommendation of Furihata, and backed by Riko, he approachesyou to ask if you’d be willing to tutor him, at least just for the upcomingexams. You look familiar to him but Kagami can’t figure out why and he’s alsopuzzled as to why Furihata would recommend him to ask you of all people fortutoring. His teammate reassures him that you’re very smart, having been pairedup with you for a class project once. Kagami doesn’t doubt him but he’s just notsure if this will work out.

Surprisingly, you agree and tutor him in the library whenhe doesn’t have basketball practice. Like Furihata had claimed, you are quiteintelligent, and it’s rather surprising how knowledgeable you are on differentsubjects. That doesn’t help Kagami much in the way of studying though and it’lltake repeating the same lesson a few times before he understands. When you’renot explaining something to him and he’s not asking you questions, there’s justan awkward atmosphere surrounding you both. It’d be easy for you to startzoning out while waiting for Kagami to try to answer the practice questions andhe wouldn’t even notice. He might think something’s off if you end up fidgetingor shifting around due to nervousness but your habit of biting the inside ofyour lip would definitely go unnoticed. He would ask you if you’re okay and ifyou say that you are, Kagami will believe you and not press further. As a wayof procrastinating and an attempt to break the awkwardness in the air, Kagami mightventure to asking you about yourself, most likely starting off withcomplimenting your knowledge on all these different subjects. He’s definitely abasketball freak and doesn’t have much interests besides from that, though hedoes know how to surf. He’d find your love of space and nature to be ratherinteresting, especially your interests toward plants. Nothing about floraestand out to him so it’d be surprising for sure to hear.

Your tutoring pays off rather well though not as well asusing Midorima’s pencil and Riko nags him to thank you somehow. His teammatesstop him from inviting you to watch one of their games since you beinginterested in that seems rather low, and instead, treat you to something you’dlike. All that surfaces in Kagami’s mind then is your love for space andnature, so naturally his friends suggest taking you to the planetarium. Hetakes their advice and invites you, and you both go on a day where you’re bothfree, which would likely be a weekend. The planetarium would be pretty crowdedthen, and its possible your anxiety would rise as a result. Kagami might notnotice until after a while and ask you if you’re okay, and even if you say youare, your facial expression and body language would make him doubt you. He’llpull you to a more secluded and less crowded place for you to catch your breathand make sure you’re actually fine before following you back into the exhibit. Consideringyour love for space, Kagami will assume you have quite a lot of knowledgeregarding the topic and ask you about it, listening with intrigue at yourexplanations. You sound different talking about this than when you were helpinghim study and it’s a side of you Kagami wouldn’t find seeing more of.

After this excursion, he feels like he knows you a bitmore and if he happens to be paying attention, wave or greet you when he spiesyou in the hallways or around the school grounds, even occasionally havingconversations with you. The first time he gets a glimpse at your sarcastic andblunt personality would have him rather puzzled since he’s never experiencedthis from you before and it contrasts with your introverted nature. However,with Kagami being a simpleton, if your words are directed at him, he’ll likelytake your words at face value. Your bluntness wouldn’t bother him much,especially if what you’re saying is the truth. Truth hurts after all, and it’sbetter than lying and pretending. Much like you though, Kagami’s fuse can berather short also, which would lead to a lot of conflict if both of you end upexploding. He might not be as great with words as you are when it comes toarguing but he’ll still try to verbally fight you. He can be quite stubbornalso, which would certainly not bode well. It’ll take quite some time ofcooling down before he’ll reluctantly approach you to apologize. Even if youapologize first, he’ll be somewhat hesitant in accepting it at first. It’s onlywhen he matures a bit and can keep a cooler head that he’ll explode less oftenand try to talk things through first.

One thing that Kagami benefits from from being a closefriend of yours is that he gets to hear all the random facts you spout. Itcatches him off-guard at first but its interesting to hear and he can’t helpbut chuckle every time afterwards. Kagami isn’t that great when it comes to bebeing affectionate either, and will be a bit clumsy at first when trying. It’sactually quite endearing seeing you getting all flustered but that makes him flustered in response. Youstiffening at his attempts would surely make him back away though, since hedoesn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Kagami will ask you if you’re okay withcertain things, not wanting to assume and be wrong about it. He will make you alunchbox if you want though, since he’s good at cooking, even though he buysfood from the cafeteria… Your clinginess wouldn’t bother Kagami too mucheither, except when it gets in the way of his basketball, which then he’d askyou to give him some space or there will be an argument waiting to happen. Hewouldn’t mind you wanting to take care of him and worry for him but he definitelydoesn’t want you to be the only one doing that. He’ll be sure to worry aboutyou too, especially if you get sick or if he hasn’t heard anything from you ina while.

[westfallingforchaol]

I’m incredibly conscious now of the fact that I start every monthly wrap-up post with a generic line about how the year is flying by so fast, and that I can’t believe it’s X month already, even though it’s always true. So, I refuse to do that from here on out. But then… how do I start these posts? I’m in sort of a sticky situation.

July was a month of ups and downs in my personal life.

It started with a bang – quite literally. For the first time since I moved to the US, I was actually in New York City for July 4th, so my parents and I headed over to Manhattan to the East River to watch the legendary Macy’s fireworks show. Getting there a few hours early just to score a good spot was worth it – the show was absolutely beautiful, and I loved a nice outing with my family. My parents are always so busy with their business, and I’m almost always away for school, we rarely get to spend time together. The occasion was nice, if only for that.

I’m such a lazy person, you have no idea. I can spend days inside the house, watching TV, reading books, listening to music for days without a care in the world, so it’s surprising how many times I actually got off my ass and headed into the city this month. I live quite far away when I’m not dorm-ing for university. I need to take a train for forty-five minutes, then a thirty-minute ferry just to get into the city… then, the Manhattan travel is another story completely. But one day, I set aside everything and headed to the city to hang out with a friend. We saw The Big Sick, I broke my book-buying ban for just a little while and bought four books from the Strand, and then I saw Spiderman: Homecoming at the iMax in Lincoln Square. I honestly thought Spiderman: Homecoming wasn’t worth the hype, but I still enjoyed the film; The Big Sick was wonderful though.

I finally joined the gym, much to the glee of my parents, lol. I’ve been meaning to lose weight for a really long time now, but I hate exercising – especially if it’s the gym. I like to swim, but there aren’t any good pools around me, so the gym is always my last resort. I almost never want to go willingly. But hopefully I’ll start making a change to my lifestyle. It’s needed.

In memory of Chester Bennington

Perhaps the one thing that hit me hardest this summer was the lead singer of Linkin Park, Chester Bennington’s death. When I was nine years old, I had just lost my younger brother to cancer, and my parents and I moved across the world from London to Pakistan to start over, for all intents and purposes. I had suddenly become an only-child, my parents’ relationship was fraying at the edges with more fights than I could handle, and I found myself in a surrounding that was completely foreign to me. At that time, I relied almost entirely on music to get me through the day. And when Linkin Park’s music came into my life, suddenly I felt that there was someone in the world I could relate to.

Ever since, I’ve turned to the band’s music – in its always-evolving creativity – to get me through some of my hardest times. The band wasn’t something that was there for me during my childhood or teenage years – they were there for me now. They were the first celebrities I decided to properly fangirl over, to the point of watching backstage videos of them goofing around, having fun. I sat through hours and hours of concert footage, in complete awe. I’ve cried with them, I’ve laughed with them, I’ve hurt with them… and then, to suddenly get the news that the person who literally saved your life has passed away by taking his own? That broke me for a while.

I spent days mourning Chester. I cried for him, and I’ve never cried over a celebrity death before- it just hit me so deeply in a place that hadn’t hurt for a long time. I spent days beating myself up: 1) I didn’t even know him, so how in the world could this hit me so hard, and 2) if he really did save my life, I strangely felt guilty that I couldn’t do anything to ease the pain he was in. But then I realized a few things – Chester’s music touched me because he was open about what he was going through, and by sharing himself, his heart and soul, he helped a lot of people. This became apparent as millions of people around the world mourned him, and wrote thinkpieces about how much Chester meant to them in their teenage years. And I realized that I wasn’t alone in mourning someone I didn’t know; he wasn’t just a singer, just some celebrity. He was my support system in my darkest of times, and I had come to consider him a friend. For me, losing him was like losing a friend, and it hurt. A lot.

I’ll miss Chester a lot, because for a while there after his death, I felt lost. Back in that nine year-old body. A kid who doesn’t know what to do anymore. How are you supposed to live in a world where the person who saved your life ends up taking his own? But with the support of my friends, the community and Linkin Park and Chester themselves, I’ve learned that it’s okay to hurt. It’s strange, but ever since he passed, I’ve shared more about my insecurities with my friends than I ever had before, and I’m slowly starting to learn that it’s alright to be vulnerable with people. We’re all human beings who hurt and suffer, and it’s so important to tell people what you’re going through. Ultimately, I’ll always be thankful to him, and the band for making me who I am, for staying with me when there wasn’t a light to hold on to. I’ll be… always thankful. And I’ll always remember Chester, both for what he’s done for me, and for the kind, funny, wonderful, brave person he was.

But you’re all here for my reading wrap-up, so enough of this, and let’s get into the books!

I read a lot this month. And by a lot, I mean a LOT.

Back in 2014, there was a time when I was reading an average of one book every two days. Somewhere along the way, I lost my mojo – I blame Netflix and school, but after years, this month was an incredible one. I was reading constantly – in the form of audiobooks, backlist books, ARCs, whatever. I’m on a book-buying ban; I can only buy a new book after I have read five books that I already own, and in an effort to buy a book I’ve been looking forward to reading, I’ve been reading my owned books quicker. Does that make sense? So in total, I read a whopping sixteen books! A bunch of them were great reads –  some of them were bad eggs, so here’s the breakdown by the order in which I read them:

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EARTH BOY (SON OF DJINN #2) BY SAMI SHAH // 🌟🌟🌟🌟

Earth Boy was an incredible finale to an incredible duology full of djinn, chudails, infused with South Asian and Islamic lore, full to the brim with genuine scares, beautifully constructed writing, dark humor, and complicated social issues. I am so deeply in love with the world Sami Shah has crafted, with the characters in these two books, and the fierce adventures they go on. It’s genuinely dark and delicious with creatures and myths from some of my worst nightmares, but not only that, Sami Shah also ensures that he discusses relevant things like intolerance, poverty and terrorism while he’s telling a fast-paced, action-packed story. I cannot recommend this duology enough. It’s so underrated, so please check it out!

Triggers apply for: Torture, rape, child abuse, terrifying scenes, strong violence.

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LITTLE & LION BY BRANDY COLBERT // 🌟🌟🌟🌟 1/2

Little & Lion was definitely my favorite book of the month. It’s a wholesome contemporary by definition of the concept with a strong focus on one girl’s relationship with her stepbrother, her family, her friends, her two crushes, and herself. It’s a book with a diverse cast of characters, tackling issues of racism, microaggressions, biphobia, mental health stigma, and figuring out who you are at an age where very little makes sense. It’s a book I will recommend for a long, long time. It releases on the 8th of this month, so please jump on it. Here’s my review.

Triggers apply for: Micro-aggressions for racism, biphobia, lesbophobic slurs, mental health stigma, anxiety, bipolar disorder.

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THE GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE TO VICE & VIRTUE BY MACKENZI LEE // 🌟🌟🌟

This was a book I was highly anticipating, and considering the hype monster around it, I was super excited to get to it. It’s a tome of a book with almost 600 pages with a diverse cast of characters on a road trip in eighteenth century Europe. There’s adventure, humor, romance, sex, scandal and some magic thrown in the mix, resulting in an extremely fast-paced, action-packed book that’s just incredibly fun to read. But despite enjoying it, I couldn’t bring myself to like the main character. He was too frat-boyish to me, and I understand he’s meant to be unlikable in order for the redemption to happen, but he says way too many things and does way too many things for me to be able to forgive him over the course of a hundred or so pages. Moreover, I felt the paranormal aspect fell flat, and the plot could’ve been more cohesive.

Triggers apply for: racism, homophobia, misogyny, ableism.

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THE 57 BUS BY DASHKA SLATER // 🌟🌟

Like most autobiographies/biographies, I’m uncomfortable reviewing this… It zooms in on a hate crime committed against an agender teen named Sasha, who’s skirt was lit on fire by a young black teen one fateful bus ride. Sasha’s story is a real one – they went through the very real physical and emotional trauma of the crime, while Richard – the person who uncharacteristically committed the horrendous crime – underwent the punishment. Dashka Slater, through real interviews, police files, news clippings, etcetera, pieces together a deeply intimate look at the failings of the justice system, how institutionalized and systematic racism is ruining black youth’s lives, putting them at a severe disadvantage. However, Slater – a white woman – uses the N-word several times in the book… and… that word is not for a non-black person to use. To me, while the criminal justice system’s exposé was important, I also felt the book was unbalanced and the emphasis was placed on the person who committed the crime over the person who was the victim. This made me uncomfortable.

Triggers apply for: use of racist and nonbinary-phobic and transphobic slurs, misgendering, hate crime against an agender teen, institutionalized racism.

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THE COLDEST GIRL IN COLDTOWN BY HOLLY BLACK // 🌟🌟🌟🌟

This was the first Holly Black book I’ve ever read, and it definitely will not be the last. It was perfectly balanced with the right amount of romance, the right amount of action, and the perfect creep-factor. I’m not big on vampire novels, because most of them have already been done already… what’s new to be offered in the genre? But Holly Black makes them sexy and interesting again; I loved the characters, and I enjoyed the main character’s feisty yet compassionate, kind, vulnerable self too. I’m so excited to read other books by Black.

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GOODBYE DAYS BY JEFF ZENTNER // 🌟🌟🌟🌟

Goodbye Days was a book that took me by surprise; I became more invested in the characters than I thought I would, and I found myself mourning people that were dead before the book even began. I loved the concept of saying one final goodbye to people who’ve been taken way too soon, and I think Zentner deals with topics of grief, loss and guilt extremely well. I did, however, take issue with some of the unchallenged suicide/self-harm jokes in the book. You can read my full review here.

Triggers apply for: Racist micro-aggressions against a Filipina character, suicide/self-harm jokes, homophobic jokes (mostly challenged), grief, death.

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CARAVAL BY STEPHANIE GARBER // 🌟

The hype monster for Caraval was one of the biggest hype monsters I’ve ever seen in my four years of blogging. And because of this reason, this book was a massive let down. I hated the main characters, the sisterhood bond was nothing short of a joke, serious issues were used as plot devices without exploring potential psychological ramifications, and the writing was inconsistent and seemed try-hard. You can find my full review here.

Triggers apply for: Suicide, physical and emotional abuse by a parent, self-harm.

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THE LOVE INTEREST BY CALE DIETRICH // 🌟 1/2

This was probably one of the most disappointing books I’ve read this year – mainly because I’ve had my eye on it ever since it was announced! It sounded amazing: a satirical take on dystopians with a love triangle where the two dudes fall in love with each other? Bro, that sounds so cool. But the characters were extremely flat, to the point where the satire became laughable on its own. The writing wasn’t special, and it read more like a contemporary than a sci-fi dystopian. I DNF’d at 55%.

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THAT THING WE CALL A HEART BY SHEBA KARIM // 🌟🌟🌟

As a Pakistani Muslim, I barely get any representation in YA lit, so imagine my glee when I found out that this was a book that offered me just that. And while Sheba Karim does a great deal of things right in this book, much of it fell flat. It deals with open, frank discussions about religion, Islamophobia in the West, expectations from hijabis, assigning statuses and labeling people as “representatives” of a certain identity. I adored the main character’s best friend to the point where I wanted the book to be about her, rather than Shabnam, the protagonist. I hated Shabnam, and that was the point but her development and redemption doesn’t come soon enough to save the novel. The romance was cringe-worthy and cheesy too.

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THERE’S SOMEONE INSIDE YOUR HOUSE BY STEPHANIE PERKINS // 🌟🌟🌟🌟

There’s Someone Inside Your House was a delight to read. I read it in a couple of sittings, flying through it with ferocious speed. It was so incredibly fun, reminiscent of slasher flicks set in small towns. Stephanie Perkins is a talented writer, of course, and it shows because she strikes the perfect balance between her trademark cutesy contemporary (because the romance in this is adorable), while also doing justice to the thrill and horror of the serial killer storyline. The cast was diverse as well, and I enjoyed the atmospheric quality of the entire book. It would honestly make a great TV show.

Triggers apply for: some transphobic language was in my ARC, but I know Perkins has since addressed and amended it for the final copy; racist microagressions against the main character who is biracial black/Native Hawaiian; graphic depictions of murder & gore.

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THE EPIC CRUSH OF GENIE LO BY F. C. YEE // 🌟🌟🌟🌟

This was a book everywhere on Twitter, and rightfully so. The Epic Crush of Genie Lo is an incredible urban-fantasy inspired by Chinese lore with a feisty, relatable main character who’s trying to handle her schoolwork, her future plans for college, a separated family, and a bodyshaming yet loving mother… and now you’re throwing demons in the mix?! It was adventurous, fast-paced, action-packed, and at times laugh-out-loud funny, while never losing its charm of being subtly relatable with characters that you grow to adore. My only real complaint was that I would’ve preferred more balance between the action and the slower moments, even if that meant the book had to be fifty or so pages longer.

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SAINTS AND MISFITS BY S. K. ALI // 🌟🌟🌟

I set myself up for disappointment for this book, mainly because perhaps I was expecting a little too much. For one, there is so much this book does right. It’s true that Western media often only promotes Muslim books that fit their own version of what Islam should be like. Saints & Misfits is unapologetically Muslim, with a lovable, wonderful main character who takes pride in her culture, religion and is fully immersed in it, while never being defined by it either. I loved her relationship with her family and friends, and I loved seeing her develop over the course of the novel. But there was virtually very little plot, which will eventually be the downfall of the book for readers who enjoy a more cohesive storyline.

Triggers apply for: sexual assault.

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FINAL GIRLS BY RILEY SAGER // 🌟🌟

After the magic of There’s Someone Inside Your House, I was in a bit of a thriller/slasher kick, so I decided to pick up Final Girls – which was a book I was absolutely certain I was going to enjoy. But I was left severely disappointed. It was exciting and unputdownable, that’s for certain, but the characters were flat, and it was more mystery than thriller or horror. The mental illness representation was awful, and there were so many insensitive remarks thrown towards someone who committed suicide- it made me stomach turn. The ending was cheesy and cartoon villain-y. It was just… a disappointment.

Triggers apply for: Poor mental illness representation, suicide, violent murder.

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THE SERPENT KING BY JEFF ZENTNER // 🌟🌟 1/2

After loving Goodbye Days by the same author earlier in the month, I decided to give his debut novel a go too, but it definitely wasn’t as good as his second. The Serpent King explores the South, religion, guilt and feeling stuck as well as I expected Zentner too, but most of the characters didn’t connect with me. Plus, I felt that Dill’s mental health was glossed over – more emphasis needed to be placed on therapy and recovery. I also didn’t feel a connection between the two people involved in the main romance at all. I’ll avoid saying more for risk of spoilers. There’s also a lot of racism and use of slurs in the book – these aren’t unchallenged, and they’re clearly not Zentner’s views but rather an authentic portrayal of the backwardness of many in the South, but I felt this could’ve been done without the use of slurs.

Triggers apply for: pedophilia, depression, religious intolerance, racism, homophobic slurs, grief, death.

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WHEN I CAST YOUR SHADOW BY SARAH PORTER // 🌟

Listen… I wish I could tell you what this book was, but I genuinely have no clue. It was so… weird and disturbing. For starters, the characters were all one-dimensional, flat and pretentious even when they showed the slightest bit of personality. The book was messed up on so many levels with some incest going on, some statutory rape that is never properly addressed, a dude possessing his own brother and then sleeping with his girlfriend, like… what the fuck was this book, and how was half this stuff greenlit?! It’s safe to say that I despised it, and I honestly cannot believe I made it through the whole thing.

Triggers apply for: vague incest stuff, sexual assault, statutory rape, drug use, death by overdose, suicidal ideations, self-harm.

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NEVER LET ME GO BY KAZUO ISHIGURO // 🌟🌟🌟 1/2

Never Let Me Go had been on my TBR for approximately 4459679456 years, and I finally got around to reading it – and I must say that I enjoyed it more than I thought it would. I couldn’t put it down; it was definitely a page-turner, and I enjoyed the personal way it was written. It felt like Kathy was sitting in front of me, telling me the story as it happened, rather than me reading it from the eyes of someone who lived it. I enjoyed the duplicity and multi-faceted personalities of the characters, and was invested in all their conflicts; however, for a large portion in the middle of the book during their time in the Cottage, I lost interest, and much of that interest never came back. Plus, the ending was super info-dumpey.

Triggers apply for: disturbing thematic content, grief, loss.

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Apart from reading, I watch Netflix and listen to music.

I’ve been re-watching The Office over the summer, and I’m almost done with Season 6 now; if you haven’t looked into watching it, I highly suggest you do. The first season is a little dull, but it gets incredibly funny during the second season. I’ve been meaning to watch a new TV show before the summer officially ends, so if you have any suggestions, let me know.

Also, Game of Thrones is back! I loved the first three episodes, even though parts of them felt very fan-fictiony. I’m just so stoked that these storylines are continuing, and I’m getting to see some of my favorite characters be bad-ass. Just crossing my fingers and hoping for George R. R. Martin to hurry up with the sixth book.

As for music, I’ve decided that instead of individually linking videos like I do every month, I would construct a playlist of what I’ve been listening to for the month. So here’s my Spotify list of great songs you should maybe (definitely) check out, including some pop, some rock, some electronic. All over the place, like it goes.

So that’s it for my July wrap-up. Let me know if you’ve read any of the books mentioned above, and if you did, what’d you think of them? I hope July was a wonderful month for y’all, and I hope August is even better. As always – thanks for stopping by, and happy reading!

Monthly Recap: July ’17 I'm incredibly conscious now of the fact that I start every monthly wrap-up post with a generic line about how the year is flying by so fast, and that I can't believe it's X month already, even though it's always true.