#he's 16lbs now

[jonghyuny]

.

[youlooklikeasixtiesqueen]

my cats are fighting and i don't know why but the boy is in hiding

[tumbleweed-run]

Meet My Zoo

Marco and Polo

(Polo is on the left, Marco on the right)

Marcito the Dorito and Pollo

My old boys, they’ll be 10 this September. They are some of the most bonded cats I’ve ever met. They got their names because my big kids were little when we got them and the kittens would begin yelling as soon as they lost sight of one another.

Marco loves everyone, wants to be pet RIGHT NOW. And then proceeds to drool all over you when you do pet him. He has nakey legs because once, SEVEN YEARS AGO, our dog brought home fleas and he’s compulsively taken his hair off ever since. The vet says he’s fine, just neurotic (same bud, same).

Polo loves Marco and my oldest son. He tolerates everything else.

Odin and Freyja

Obediah G Finklesnarf and Wheezy

They just turned 4 in July.

We got these two as bottle babies after their mom rejected them.

Odin is a big cat. Like really the kind that makes people stop and comment on how big he is. While he’s currently on a diet but the vet estimates he’ll never be below 15-16lbs, currently he’s 18lbs. He’s a big baby and truly believed our dog was his mother. I now get the joy of waking up to his murder paws bearing all his weight onto my ribs every night. He loves being brushed and playing fetch with hair ties.

Freyja is the prettiest cat I’ve ever seen. She’s soft and silky, with a gorgeous feather plume tail. She’s the tiniest adult cat we have weighing 9.5lbs. She enjoys being looked at but not touched. The only person allowed to brush her is my middle son, and she rewards him by sleeping in his bed. Freyja has 6 confirmed critter kills despite being a strictly indoor cat, she once caught a live bat in our basement. She’s our only cat to have ever caught and killed something. (She’s also our most expensive cat because she’s very sensitive to vaccinations but due to her bloodlust I’m terrified she’ll contract rabies so she gets vaccinated and then spends 24hrs in observation at the vet. Every. Time. )

Luke & Leia

Lukey Dookey and Leiabeaia

They are our newest babies at only 3 months. They’re only babies yet and very much growing into their personalities but I love them so much already.

Luke is the sweetest boy, loves cuddles and being held. The boy has absolutely no self preservation instinct. He’s often found being held upside down or trying to fight Odin. His only saving grace is that Odin thinks the kittens are the coolest things. Luke IS smart enough to run to a person when he’s scared, which he often is.

Leia is a strong independent woman. For their own safety the kittens used to sleep in a large crate until we felt everyone was comfortable. She would scream her whole way to the crate and make it impossible to catch her. She is the reason they earned night time freedom. She can often be found beating the crap out of her brother.

Charlie

Charles T Bunneh

We have zero idea how old Charlie is, he’s at least 3 but possibly as old as 6. Charlie was an unintentional acquisition. A family member did that very cliche thing of getting pregnant and no longer having time for him. My youngest son’s favorite animals are rabbits. I’m sure you figured out what happened. Our vet actually laughed at me when I said I was done collect animals during his first visit. (It was not, he was actually gotten a month before the kittens)

Charlie is the goodest bunny. Has no problem with our cats, will occasionally chase Luke but it’s definitely playful. He sits so nice for nail trims. He’s learned my husband’s schedule and the only time I’ve ever heard him thump was when my husband was home late and therefor late giving Charlie his snack.

WE ARE DONE with new animals for a very very long time.

[fishsticksloser]

May i request rottmnt of little sister reader who gives her brothers things she knows they wished to had.

Like she knows mikey wanted that famous rare cooking book that got sold out years ago and she comes up to him saying " hey mikey, close your eyes and give me your hands, i swear it's not a prank! " and when she gives him he gets so shocked he almost cry and scream at the same time.

She do the same with her 3 older brothers because she loves going so far to make them happy.

( in case you couldn't find a thing that may make the brothers so happy may i suggest; a poster of leo with lou outfit back when he was fighting in BNC, for Donnie a rare computer chip, and for raph she sew a ghost bear - she hates him btw - teddy bear big size for raph).

If this request is too much then please ignore it.

Gifting the Boys Presents

RotTMNT + gn!reader

Warnings: fluff, swearing

A/N: I had a better idea for Donnie :] Requests are closing on the 20th, get your requests in before then!

Previous  |  Next

Donnie & Leo (cause twins)

The twins' birthdays were coming up.

You were so worried about what to get them, especially Donnie

Donnie was hard to shop for

So... You went to Draxum to see if he could help you get what you needed for the purple turtle

You had managed to snag Leo's, it was a custom order

Draxum managed to get you what you needed for Donnie too

Now all that was left was to wrap them

"Happy birthday to yoooooooooouuuuu!"

The twins blew out the candles on their cake

Leo wrapped his arm around Donnie, a bright smile on his face

The cake was amazing, like always

"Time for presents!"

The 2 other boys gave them their gifts, birthday boys showing their appreciation

"Alright, Bee, it's your turn!"

You hand Leo his present first, placing it gently in his hands

"Oh my god..."

Leo unrolls the poster, showing him beating the Battle Nexus in his Lou Jitsu outfit

"Wow, Bee... I... I don't have the words..."

You dropped Donnie's in his lap, he winced

"What the hell..."

He unwrapped it, leaving a thick box with Uranium inside

"I had to ask Draxum for help, but I managed to get you 7 kilograms... I know it's not much..." I learned that 7kg of Uranium weighs 16lbs....

"This was more than I wanted! Thank you."

Leo and Donnie hug you so tight, you almost can't breathe.

Mikey

You finally found it

Chef Rupert Swaggert's cookbook

Mikey had been wanting it for years, but never managed to get his hands on it

Plus, the one you found was signed!

Yes, Meatsweats was a villain who had tried to eat your brothers, but it was still something Mikey wanted

Afterall he was a huge Condescending Kitchen fan

"Hey, Mike? I have a present for you."

"What? It's not even my birthday."

"I know... I just found this and it made me think of you."

Mikey comes over and you hand him your hurriedly wrapped present

"Oh MI GOSH! YOU FOUND THE LIMITED EDITION RUPER SWAGGER COOKBOOK!?"

"Oh, there's something even better."

"What could possibly be better than this?"

You flip the cover open, showing Mikey Rupert Swaggert's signature

"Thank you so much! I-I don't really even know how to thank you!"

He picks you up, squeezing you

When he sets you back down, you see tears in his eyes

At least they're happy tears

Raph

You knew you weren't supposed to be top-side, but Raph was upset and you wanted to help

You wanted to cheer your eldest brother up

Maybe you could grab his favorite pizza or maybe get him a cool new bear

You passed by a thrift store when you saw it

A Ghostbear teddy that had sold out long before you were born

Yes... You hated Ghostbear, but this was the perfect thing to cheer Raph up

You went in and bought it before racing back home

"Raph! Close your eyes and hold your hands out."

"Dandy, I'm not in the mood."

"Please? It's not a prank, I promise."

Eventually he complies, he can't say no to you afterall

You set the stuffy in his giant palms

"Open."

He opened his eyes and stared at the toy

"Is... Is this the Ghostbear plushy that was sold out like... 15 years ago?"

"Yeah. I found it, I thought it would cheer you up."

Raph pulled you into his lap, tears in his eyes

"Thank you. I really needed this."

The rest of the night, you 2 sat comfortably, Raph's chin resting on your head

He told you stories about your brothers before you came around

[smallboyonherbike]

1 pet photo per like for morale boosting part TWO!! new post so the first doesn't get hugely long, hit like for more, i've got so many

this is a blast from the past since i've had these three since 2015-2016

felix my baby i cannot believe he was this small!!!!! now he weighs 16lbs!!! my BFF's mom's cat had kittens and he was one

prince jerry started visiting my old house bc we fed the stray cats but from the flea collar he clearly wasn't feral. never found his owner and when i was moving away i said well i'm taking you w me dude

inherited squishy thirdhand from a neglectful owner and she looked like pure shit for awhile bc we had a flea infestation. she'd never eaten dog food or been potty trained so she's really come a long way. now she is approx 16 and absolutely rules the house

[indignantlemur]

Small delay in any art/writing updates! My fiancé and I are cat-sitting for a little over a week and these fluffy little bastards (affectionate) have declared war on anyone with the audacity to try to sleep between midnight and 5am.

Consolation prize cat pics in the meantime!

Hildy is a little formerly-feral tabby, weighing in at a negligible 10-ish lbs (in comparison to the others). She's a little odd, but quite charming. She goes brrrrp! and ma-maow! whenever she sees us and tries to lick my fiancé's eyelids. We don't know why. It's probably better that we don't know. She's a more recent addition to my friend's household, so I don't know as much about her as the other two yet, but from what I understand her previous owners didn't take care of her at all and basically left her to the land. I will say that my friend has done an amazing job of socializing her and working on her fear-aggression and trust issues. I saw her briefly when she first arrived over a year ago and it's like she's a whole new cat now. 8/10 - Hildy's a little too quick to claw when overexcited for my preferences, but otherwise a lovely little moggy who loves cuddles and pets.

Isaac Catsimov the distinguished (mostly blind at this point) flame-point Ragdoll gentleman, at a respectable 16lbs. Isaac doesn't believe in personal space, and for an old man (he's almost 18 now) he's surprisingly agile, as his pre-dawn parkour sessions can attest to. Great lungs, superb sound system: I do wish he'd sing something other than mournful cat-dirges at 3am however. He also slaps people in the face to 'politely' request a resource of some sort. We both take our thyroid meds together every morning. He's a good sport about it. 9/10 - Isaac loses a point for slapping me in the face this morning with his giant shovel paws because he stood in his own water dish and got fur in it, but I love him so much.

And, saving my personal favourite for last, this is "Big Fellow" Atticus Finch (as he's listed in his vet records) the dark-bodied seal point Ragdoll-Maine Coon mix (and also the grandson of Isaac!), reigning supreme at roughly 20lbs of solid muscle and fluff. He runs like a badger, makes the most terrifyingly deep BAO! sound in the dead of the night when he's bored, and headbutts like a freight train at full speed with faulty breaks. He also likes to hold people's hands and cuddle their arms with all four of his feet. 15/10 - I love him more than life itself, and also fear I am slightly concussed.

[twistedyapping]

my experience with health n wellness n stuff

so i started adding weights alongside my cardio, changing my cardio routine just slightly, and changing my diet a tad like 3 months ago or so now-

i didnt do it to lose weight or anything, i did it to build muscle and also hopefully stop fighting god on the shitter- i basically just started doing it to do it bc like. Why not.

and real shit ever since i started really bryan johnsoning and david gogginsing life my whole everything has absolutely skyrocketed-

n im not gonna be one of those ppl that's like "LIFT OR DIE!!!!! EXERCISE OR U SUCK!!!!" Bc like if u have a solid reason why u cant, dw abt it- but in my experience since i changed all this stuff, my self esteem and confidence (and even 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 vibes) and Everything has just absolutely skyrocketed for the better-

Like i was someone who got winded bringing the groceries in the house (And i could hold like 4 light bags max), and if i like squatted down to the floor for any reason, it was a Full Body exercise to get myself back up to stand.

now i can literally get up and down using Only My Legs which is how it should be!!! And the other day i carried HALF the grocery load in the house and wasn't even winded!!!!!! Like that little shit is just so fucking worth it bro it makes u feel so much better abt literally everything in life

and i have visible muscle now!!! Im not a twig like i can actually do shit!!! And after being known as the skinny as a rail twig with no muscle for like my whole life, you have no clue how great being able to overhead press 21.5lbs Multiple Times feels for me- And like that's probably not a whole lot of weight for a lot of ppl, but mannnn i started with 16lbs and was DYING.

i can also fucking glute bridge 60lbs Like that's CRAZY to me and ya ya the hips r the powerhouse of the cell But i started with 54.5lbs. That is also insane to me.

the thing is like i literally never knew my own strength, like the small amount i already had, and i also never knew how to Increase it until now- And now i just feel more in tune with my body and even my mind like- idk everything is just Good and Better.

ya i got some days where i dont rly feel like eating bryan johnson food like quinoa n shit But other days i literally get hyped for it. and i measure my food n shit like-

and i was allergic to the idea of measuring my food n stuff at first- i genuinely hated the idea because i didnt want to find out i was getting like 0 nutrients per day i was PETRIFIED bc i was always told i eat like an ipad kid-

well turns out i actually Do get a lot of nutrients every day and even more now- and i dont measure my food to hit a specific amount of calories, i just measure it to know what im getting out of it- im not counting strands of spaghetti tryna make sure it's EXACTLY 116 grams, but hitting that double serving 232g dead on is satisfying ngl- Or cutting exactly 1oz of cheese- Like it's just fun 4 me idk

and i understand it's not fun for some ppl and that's 100% okay, i am not here to preach the fitness gospel, im just here to share my experience bc i enjoy yapping abt things

im not going the full mile like perfect everything, measuring every single thing on my body like bryan johnson (no shade, he's a well beloved name in our house bc it's funny to call quinoa n stuff bryan johnson food 😭😭), but i am just kinda chillin and like really starting to take my health and nutrients and exercise more seriously without being afraid of it like i used to be and it's in turn helping my mental health too which is why i do it-

i do everything i can to make my mind better bro call me david goggins the way im up in those brain cabinets clearin shit out all the time- But ya like. Idk shit's just Better.

so if this somehow inspired u to also go down the fitness path either by just starting out or going further down it than u already were- sick 🫡 Bc that wasn't my intention so that'd be a cool consequence of my actions 🫡

Anyway ya that's abt it. see ya

- 🌙 -

[delicatefury]

I’m supposed to be taking the dogs on their morning walk, but my grumpy ass cat has decided that he needs snuggles right now. As this is a rare and noteworthy event, I can’t bring myself to dislodge 16lbs of tabby to get my morning coffee.

He’s making biscuits on my arm.

His claws are really sharp.

[aerismoon]

Trying to take pictures of the art inside but now I have 16lbs of Merlin floof on me (my cat is named Merlin and he thinks he's the King of Skyrimhold) (also Skyrimhold is what we call our house/yard)

I was not planning on posting about this so much but I keep getting these amazing surprises!

Featuring Merlin's back leg fluff aka his little Aladdin pants 😃

[dottoverthei]

My life is so crazy right now. I've lost 16lbs in the last month, that's about half a pound a day. All I do is go to work and then I come.home take 5 shots and eat a small meal. I literally do nothing else, I just scroll tumblr and tiktok. I'm talking to a cute girl who is literally addicted to meth, alcohol and coke, and she's anorexic like me. I'm talking to another guy who (I've known him for years and he also struggled with anorexia) is engaged with a baby and wants to meet up Tuesday to fuck. Like what is my life.

[the-dubstep-strawberry]

Princess Strawbzilla Update

I haven't mentioned her on here lately, but don't worry, Princess Strawbzilla fans - she's doing just fine! She's had a busy schedule of catching bugs, cuddling her humans, and spurning the hopeful advances of her Gentleman Caller (a friendly neighborhood ginger cat with one orange brain cell, which he used to go <3 - an effort which she did not appreciate one bit).

We recently celebrated our first year with the Princess (yay!) and today she went to the vet for a checkup and her shots. I'm delighted to report that my little Strawb is in great shape! The vet commented that she was extremely clean, her coat was in excellent condition, and she seemed very calm - and that she has lost two whole pounds in the last year, which is fantastic news. She's now down to 16lbs, still very cuddly but definitely more cat-shaped.

She is also up-to-date on her kitty vaccines and is once again licensed to practice being a kitty in the State of [Redacted].

The Princess sends her love to everyone (except her would-be suitor, who just gets angry "RRRRRRR" noises).

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Tuesday 1 January 1839

8 ¾

12 ¼

boisterous windy damp morning F41 ½° inside and 45° outside study window – breakfast at 9 ¾ in about ½ hour – then out – about – the horse Captain better – had a bran mash – it was after 11 before he had the 8oz. Epsom salts I ordered him – George quite satisfied with his own knowledge of the case which he pronounced to  be inflammation of the mucous membrane of the stomach – the fact is, the horse had got a chill and consequent indigestion – had the box in the old farm stable cleared out, and had the horse comfortably bedded up there as soon as he had taken his solution of salts – the poor animal would gladly have had something to eat but must now be contented with bran mashes till after the operation of his physic – with A- a minute or 2 and came upstairs at 12 ¼ - the blood taken from the horse last night looked very well – bucket and all weighed 26lbs. of which blood 16lbs. and measured 13 pints – wrote the above of today – sat reading White vol. 1 farriery – inflammation – had Holt before 1 about the fireman – the engine to be ready for starting next week – spoke to Holt about shifting the scale from the engine pit at Pearsons’ – I thought 2d. a load enough for filling – 3 carts to carry off 36 yards cube per day to the meer – and 2 fillers at 2d. per yard would earn 3/. a day each – went out at 2 ¼ - in the stables and about – then along the old road to Sun wood quarry – nobody there – very high wind – could scarce stand in returning met Thomas Pearson at L.E. Pit – stood talking sometime about my hay etc. – he wanted to settle with me about the cows he had pastured here – no! settle with SW. – his (SW-‘s) affair and I had rather he settled all he had the ordering of – then to John Oates – 50 minutes with him – Holt said the engine would be ready for starting next week – JO. said it would be the end of the month 1st – said both to him and Thomas P- I thought I should not be at the rent day tomorrow – Thomas P- told me the Manns had taken Mr. Freemans’ colliery at Liversedge – coal at £150 per acre – no money to lay out – yes! said JO. but it is John Mann who has taken it – perhaps Joseph may be in partnership with him but not Robert – bound to get 2 acres a year – home at 4 – sometime in the kitchen court looking about – then dressed – had A- with me – at 5 20 wrote 2 1/3pp. to M- and the last 13 lines till 5 50 – ‘Shibden hall – 1 January 1839 – my dearest Mary – the gardener brings word that you had set off to York the morning he arrived at Lawton – I hope your journey was one of pleasure, and I shall be glad to hear that you yourself are well, and that you found all your friends so – I am sure you will spend all the time you can with us, on your return – and that you will find no fault with your welcome – two joiners have been at work in the house since you were here last; but I fear you will

SH:7/ML/E/22/0091

hardly be able to discover what they have done – we cannot make you more comfortable in point of accommodation than before – but you will not think of this – we ourselves are even less comfortable, being without maid; and even one footman we owe, and lately too, to the kindness of Mrs. Duffin who has really done us a great service – how is poor Watson? what becomes of you without her? the gardener took the little parcel; but, as you will see from the short note that accompanies it, the remembrance seemed less happy than better fortune might have made it – you will come if you can – my love and Miss Walkers’ kind regards to all immediately around you, and to our good friends in Micklegate and those who never write in Petergate – affectionately yours AL’ – sent off my letter to ‘Mrs. Lawton Dr. Belcombes’, Minster-court, York’ dinner at 6 ¼ - A- crying afterwards as yesterday and .:. I asleep but she was not wrong coffee at 8 – read the newspaper – A- read 2pp. French and I looked over her – came upstairs at 10 55 when I put the clock forwards ¼ hour – very high wind all the day – and high and boisterous tonight F43° outside and 43 ½° inside study window now at 11 3/4pm according to the clock put forward – Letter tonight from Mr. R. Walker 2 Jones street Berkley square London – for 1 years morning Herald London newspaper = £7.3.0 + 11d. postage of letter - .:. I will not pay the postage of my next letter

[normalsdotheolympics]

More PT

I went and saw PT again this week and have some new recommendations. As discussed at my last session, my quads are just too weak to be able to tolerate running right now. I have a lot of work to do in strengthening them, and I've been working at it the last few weeks. He recommended some further exercises towards that end, so I've been reworking my exercise routine and stretches. He also recommended that I do more fast-paced walking, as he felt that I need to increase my body's tolerance for the impact, meaning I should be on the treadmill 4-5 days a week. That of course would mean decreasing my time swimming and cycling, but I think that may just be what I need to do since I really need to get over the hump and get back to running.

A lot of our exercise this week consisted of lifting a couple of hundred heavy boxes as we've been in the process of moving. That definitely delayed some of our other workouts, but we were able to get to the pool a couple of times. I'll just say that we were definitely worn out, and it showed in our endurance. Through all this, I did manage to push myself on my cycling, and I hit 30km for the first time, which was the October goal. The goal for swimming is 500m, and I'll see if I can reach that over the next week, but it may take just a little longer. Of course the running goals are sort of on the back burner for the time being, though Katy is doing some jogging on the treadmill.

One of the other benefits of this endeavor has been overall fitness. I've lost about 8 lbs since July and Katy about 16lbs, so we're definitely seeing the progress there! Of course, we're putting on a decent amount of muscle with our weight training, so that has to factor in as well.

Things have settled down now that we're moved, so we can get back to our routine in a more meaningful way this week. I think I'll work towards 500m swimming and keep working on quad strengthening and get on the treadmill more frequently, and Katy can work towards 1km jogging and the 30km goal on the bike. Until next week!

[oscarthegrouchcat]

This probably should've been the first thing I put on this blog haha. Everyone, this is Oscar. He's a gorgeous nearly 10 year old cat (will be 10 on Oct 7th) who my partner and I adopted last week. This is the photo they had of him up at the NHSPCA. He'd been there for almost 2 months when we adopted him. We were told it was surprising that he attached to us so quickly because he usually hates adults and only likes kids.

Here he is as of a couple days ago. Within the now full week this boy's been home, he's opened up so much and is almost a completely different cat than the one we met at the NHSPCA. An absolutely adorable little lovebug who has such a personality. He loves doing little walks around the apartment (my partner and I call them his "rounds") and rubbing all over boxes and items we still have to put up after having moved into this apartment 2 years ago. We've learned he loves having his butt scratched, right above his tail like a dog.

He's a chunky guy too, the SPCA told us he was about 15lbs. When looking at his previous vet records we were given when adopting him, he has apparently lost some. He was at one point a whopping 16lbs. We're doing our best to get him more active and running around now that he's getting comfortable here (as cute as he is being a fat little guy).

He has FIC (feline idiopathic cystitis), meaning that if he gets really stressed or if he has a bad diet his urine begins crystalizing for unknown reasons. It also has an unknown connection to an inflamed bladder. He's got a special urinary diet that he's fed to help maintain it along with just trying to keep him as entertained and relaxed as possible. My partner and I are thinking that one of his previous owners weren't keeping him on his diet which may have caused him to gain water weight. Along with being stressed about other animals in the house, which not getting along with them was why this poor sweet boy had been surrendered.. We're thinking we've got to be at least his 3rd owners, as his vet records only dated back to 2019 from the person who surrendered him to the NHSPCA. Judging based on his demeanor we're thinking his previous owners were the second family and his first owner(s) was probably an older person who wanted to have a cat around for company.

We're honored to be this special little guy's forever home and I'm excited to personally take you all along the journeys this guy gets us into. He's such a little character and has absolutely been a joy to have around.

[macabrediamond]

I’ve never fasted before, but starting with 14hrs seems like a good thing to do.. lol. I’ll gradually work my way up, but for now, I’ve completed a 13hr, and a 14hr fast. I’ll stick with 14hrs for a few days, then I’ll move to 15hrs, 16hrs, and eventually get to 18hrs. It’s hard when I have 2 kids, and a husband. He supports me fasting, and cutting calories for sure (I have a lot of weight to lose, so does he, but he’s never told me to lose weight). I’m starting this for very very shallow reasons. The girl who has been my “rival” for almost 12 years is now smaller than me, 16lbs smaller to be exact, and I’m determined to get smaller than her, quicker than her. I hate that this has been the motivation to actually kick myself into gear, but at least I’m determined now, right? Please tell me I’m not alone..

[fuckkbrunch]

Okay I've been putting off writing this post for a week. I totally wasted spent my whole last weekend doing this fucking thanksgiving dinner. I literally didn't sit down for 9 hours on the turkey roasting day. Get ready for a long one...

I thought this would be good to bang out a few recipes in one weekend. My job gives out free turkeys to employees every Christmas, and this year we got two since my partner works with me now. We have a very small deep freeze, so I thought this would also help make some space since we didn't cook either of our turkeys during the actual holidays.

The cookbook has a pretty detailed thanksgiving section, where Tony explains how to set up a thanksgiving dinner over 4 days. First step, make a stock. This took me 8 hours.

Luckily I didn't need to buy any bones. I've had these necks and wings and bits hanging out in my freezer for a while. Scraps from past turkeys, roasted and raw ducks, and maybe a chicken. I added in the neck and wing tips from the new turkey as well.

Roasted those off for about 45 minutes, moving them around as needed. Prepped some mirepoix while that cooked, added it to my brand-spanking new cheapo stock pot, chucked in some thyme, and we're off to the races.

I underestimated how long this sucker would take to bring to a "high simmer". Took about an hour to get there, then had to stay at a medium simmer for 5 hours. At some point I realized it wasn't evaporating fast enough and cranked it for the final two hours.

My resulting stock. A little more than I needed, which turned out perfect. Rapid cooled it in the sink and finished this around 10:30pm. He says that if you've done it right, it should be a deep golden brown, and very gelatinous the next day, which it was. Hooray!

I had planned to get my stuffing together and baked off on this day as well, but didn't manage to. But I got the veg prep for the stuffing chopped up at least. His stuffing is the most expensive stuffing I've ever made. It's the wild mushrooms that got me. Thankfully my grocery store still had roasted chestnuts available in March, but I definitely couldn't find fresh wild mushrooms. So dried would have to do.

The recipe calls for a pound of the wild mushrooms, but this box of dried ones only comes to 70g when rehydrated and it ran me $9.

This sad pile cost me nine fucking dollars. Porcini, chanterelle, shiitake, portabello and oyster. A pretty good assortment at least. I rehydrated them using some of the extra stock I made. Definitely not paying $60 to get to a pound though, so I supplemented with some fresh baby king oyster mushrooms, and topped it off with regular cremini mushrooms.

Now I know the chestnuts might come off as cheating, since they're pre roasted, but I did roast them again myself, as the bag suggested.

The stuffing took me two hours to get together (thank fuck I did the chopping yesterday), then I got my monster 16lb bird ready for roasting. His prep for that is pretty simple. Just a rub down with butter, salt and pepper it and you're good to go. His method doesn't involve stuffing the bird, but I have emotional needs regarding bird stuffing, so I made extra in order to do so.

His stuffing has the giblets boiled and processed to add in at the end, but I couldn't find the giblets in my bird until I was ripping it apart to portion it (who puts the giblets under the skin in the chest/sternum cavity?? Put that shit inside the bird with the neck for fucks sake...) so instead I added in some of the turkey neck meat I had leftover from the stock scraps. I'll try again with the giblets next time.

Surprisingly, the gravy was pretty annoying. All that stock I made was specifically for the gravy, as well as some red wine and shallot reduction. I made the roux using pan drippings from the stock bones from the previous day, but as I was browning the roux I was thinking, damn this is a lot of roux. I've made a lot of gravy in my life and I've never used this much roux. So when I got to the point of adding the hot stock to the roux, it got SO THICK.

He says to continue cooking the gravy until it's "thick enough to coat a spoon", but this was already way thicker than that. I had to dump in all my extra stock, plus some fish sauce and soy sauce (which are optional parts of the gravy recipe) to "water" it down.

That and I may have lightly burned my outside-the-bird stuffing. It was totally saveable though.

This is the proudest I've ever been of roasting a turkey. I sent this photo to my friends as if it was a new baby photo. Just look at it.

Isn't she a beaut?

Basted her every half hour for about 4 hours. Ironically, my overzealous stuffing didn't get hot enough to get out of the danger zone before the bird overcooked, so I scooped it out, mixed it with the lightly burnt other stuffing and baked it off while the bird rested. Oh and I also made mashed potatoes, obviously. I needed a green side, so I also whipped out...

Tony really showed his age with this one. The only time I've ever had creamed spinach was when I was 5 years old, at my grandparents house.

Thank fuck you can buy pre washed, pre trimmed spinach these days, because by this point I was so done with all of this. Nothing more depressing than watching 2 big bags of spinach steam down into a tiny sheet pan worth of wet green. At least it came together quickly. The taste was just okay, something about the texture squicks me out.

Taters, stuffing spinach and gravy. The second money shot of the day. Also a little bundle of asparagus I steamed off in the microwave since it was getting old...

Holy fuck, it's over. Best turkey I've ever done, but man. I don't know if it was worth it.

| Thanksgiving + Creamed Spinach |

Taste is a 4 out of 5. Definitely good, but the stuffing literally tasted like any stuffing I've ever had, expensive ingredients be damned.

Difficulty is a 6 out of 5. Don't try this one if you've never done a thanksgiving on your own. Or recruit help if your kitchen space allows it.

Time was about 16 hours over two days. I'm not kidding. At least while reducing the stock, you can sit down now and then.

I portioned all of this into 18 meals for the freezer so we can have a mini thanksgiving whenever we want.

I wish I could have found some cranberries so I could've knocked out his cran relish recipe as well, but it's late March and beggars can't be choosers. I'll get to that in the fall, when I roast that other fucking turkey sitting in my freezer...