Apostles Ch.3
Pairing: August Walker x Angela Warren (OFC)
WC 1073
Warnings: None
no asked to be tagged in it, so no one is being tagged. Lemme know if you want that to change
She was still sitting at the computer when he emerged from the bedroom, metal music at a low volume coming over the speakers.
“Everything okay?” She asked and he nodded.
“Confirmed it with a contact I have in the Apostles.” August said and she looked at him, “He backed it up. I’ve got a death mark on me.”
“You tell him to pick up sticks?” She asked but he shook his head.
“Either he’s in on it, in which case I don’t care what happens to him, or he’s not and he’ll be dead by morning no matter what he does. Either way, it's not my problem.” August said and she nodded, looking back at the screen. “Three years. For three years I’ve been working on trying to uncover John Lark’s identity.”
“Must have been getting close, if they got nervous about it.” Angie said, “You ever have any suspects?”
“Ethan Hunt.” He said and she looked at him again with an incredulous look.
“The IMF guy?” She asked, “Your mission, should you choose to accept it…that guy?”
“How do you know about the IMF?” August asked, “That is way above your pay grade.”
“I’m good at my job.” She said with a shrug, “Isn’t he Former Director Hunley’s favorite?”
“Yeah, and that’s what makes him the perfect candidate. He’s above reproach in Hunley’s eyes, but the amount of times he’s been kicked to the curb by the Agency has got to have made him bitter.” August said.
“You want me to dig into it? If “John Lark” put the hit out on you because you were getting close to revealing him and we shine the light on him first, it might get them to back off.” Angie offered but he shook his head.
“Lark is only half the problem, Solomon Lane is the other.” He said, “We take out Lark and Lane will just keep it going. According to my contact, the reason for the mark is I’ve been a little too good at getting rid of their lackeys.” August said and she nodded. “The only way to get the mark removed is to take out the death squad they sent after me. Like most terrorist organizations, they work with independent cells, so if one gets compromised, the others are still in the clear. However, if we get rid of the cell they assigned to my mark, it’ll send a message to Lark and Lane to back off unless they want to lose more people.”
“And how do you suppose we do that?” Angie asked.
“Violently.” August said, “Take them out with a show of force so strong that it makes them rethink assigning anyone else.”
“So shock and awe?” She asked, “Rapid dominance?”
“Have to find them first.” He said, “Without letting them find us. Can’t control a battlefield if you don’t know where it is.”
“And that, good Sir, is where I come in.” She said and pushed away from the desk, rolling across the floor, “Route everything you have on Lark, Lane, and the Apostles through my shadow server and to here, then I’ll put my waders on and jump in.”
“I don’t have much.” He admitted, looking somewhat sheepish and she gave him a look.
“You didn’t keep detailed records.” She said and he shook his head, “Oh my god, Walker, this is Moscow all over again.”
“Hey! Moscow was not my fault! You’re the one who had incomplete intel!”
“Excuse me? My intel was solid thank you very much, it’s you who went off half-cocked and nearly got yourself found.” Angie said, “If I hadn’t found that old Soviet bunker for you to lie low in, you would have been in front of a firing squad come morning! Then where would you be, Mr. Sexy Pants? Dead, that’s where.”
“Mr. Sexy Pants?”
“Shut up.” Angie said and he snorted, “Just…give me what intel you do have and I’ll sort it out from there.” He went over to the computer, transferring the files and backing away with a gesture, watching her scoot back in front of the computer and starting to go through it. “Jesus Christ, Walker. Do we need to have another talk about your lack of communication and intelligence retention?”
“Does that mean you’re not going to be able to use it?”
“No, I can use it, I’ll just need to do some deep diving to fill in the massive gaps.” She said and he pulled a chair over, sitting down next to her. “What?”
“You’re afraid of the dark, huh?”
“Shut up, lots of scary things live in the dark.” Angie said, “Demons, monsters,” A pause, “Clowns.”
“Clowns?”
“You can blame Stephen King for that one.”
“Curry or Skarsgard?”
“Curry.”
“Correct answer.” He said and she snorted, going back to what she was doing and he watched her. He’s never seen her go over intelligence before, having only met her recently in person. She was adorable, with her chin in her hand and her fingers curled against her lips, a small furrow to her brow as she read over the data.
“Help you?” She asked, glancing at him from the corner of her eye.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re kinda looking at me like you want to jam your tongue down my throat again.”
“Again?”
“Well, not quite again, but you got real close to it a couple hours ago when you thought I was some chick trying to make her boyfriend jealous.”
“I didn’t hear you complain.”
“It was in my…top 10 of good kisses.” Angie said.
“Top 10?”
“Okay, maybe top 5.” She said, “The mustache keeps it from being in my top 3.”
“I like my mustache.”
“I like your mustache too, but it didn’t feel one-hundred percent great on my upper lip.” She said and he scowled, but didn’t say anything. “Question for you, though.”
“Shoot.”
“Your Angie, huh?” She asked, a small smirk on her face and he gave a small, embarrassed smile.
“Yeah, my Angie.”
“When did that happen?”
“I don’t know. Some time over the past year you went from Analyst Warren, to Angela, to Angie.” August said, “Then, somewhere along the way, I started thinking of you as “my” Angie.”
“Interesting.” She said.
“What about me?”
“What about you?”
“Am I ”your” August?” He asked and there was some silence before she smiled softly, looking over at him briefly.
“Yeah, Walker, you are. “ She said, “You’re my August.”
“Interesting.”
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Yona and Keishuk as representations of Suwon's feelings and pragmatism.
Disclaimer: Yona, Keishuk and Suwon are obviously their own persons with dozens of more layers than what I talk about in this post. The scenes I use as examples are also about much more than what I use them for here. All of this is just one way I like to read things and I don't claim that the manga is meant to be read that way at all (the contrary honestly). This is just me having fun overanalyzing everything.
Something that has been on my mind since chapter 232 now, is the idea that Yona and Keishuk represent perfectly the duality inside of Suwon. I have loved this trio for all the potential they hold since the castle arc now, and I didn't get as much as I wanted with them at all but this specific page of chapter 232 still makes me "oooooh".
(Long post under the cut. sorry)
I know the important part comes just after with the "You are needed." Suwon-Yona scene, but I think the composition is super interesting here. Yona and Keishuk are having a full conversation, debating over what to do about Mei-nyan, and Suwon doesn't participate at all (he only enters the conversation next page but doesn't say anything on that matter specifically until chapter 233, when he makes his decision). As if quietly listening to both sides and considering all the points they present. Yes saving Mei-nyan is a bother, why should they do so much for one captive? Yes it's also dangerous to let her in enemy hands given the informations she has against Suwon. It's not farfetched to imagine Suwon can agree to both of their statements. Suwon is hidden by the bubbles of their conversation, erasing himself to give room to their discussion. It's as if we were inside Suwon's head and being a spectator of his trains of thoughts, as if Yona and Keishuk were two parts of Suwon's psyche. They're obviously their own independant characters outside of that with their own merits and personality etc ect but I think it's still interesting to read their dynamic this way.
After all, didn't Yona always represent for Suwon his own feelings? And Keishuk the lack of them? Discarding Yona (and Hak, but I think Yona especially represents that) has always been synonym to discarding his feelings. By discarding her, Suwon discards that he is not a 100% impartial human being that loves (and hates) some people more than others, and that he actually cares and cannot always 100% control his heart. The reason he discarded Yona when the coup happened is because his feelings don't matter from that point on and are directly in the way of his goals. And one of the reason he rejected her so much in the castle and kai battle arcs is exactly because she means something special to him and she keeps trying to appeal to Suwon's heart and feelings (by making several references to Yonhi for example, but also simply by being herself and asking Suwon to save the prisoners, etc) and tries to make the situations personal, two things that Suwon forced himself to stop and not do for a plethora of reasons I won't develop here.
(About Yonhi, the manga has made a connection between Yona and Yonhi a few times? One thing is Yonhi's hairpin that Yona also wears on one of the magazine cover, and there are the few mentions Yona makes of her in front of Suwon. I don't think the manga tries to say that Yona=Yonhi at all, but rather that Yona acts as some sort of reminder of her to Suwon? After all, there's close to no one left in the world who knew her, and even less in the castle and around Suwon in contrast to how Suwon grew up and is surrounded by Yuhon's faction and people admiring him. But most people forgot about Yonhi or never thought much of her. So I assume post-diary Yona tries to balance things out a little bit on that aspect, showing that even if people see Suwon as Yuhon's successor, he is also at his core his mother's son and it's sad to pretend he is not.
In parallel, even if not as explicitely as Yona (as I don't remember Keishuk ever mentioning Yuhon in front of Suwon?) Keishuk is one of the many reminder of Yuhon to Suwon. Keishuk definitely isn't Yuhon either, but the way he thinks and his ideology are similar enough. So you could say that Yona and Keishuk are Yonhi and Yuhon's voices in the present.)
In parallel Keishuk represents the exact opposite of listening to your feelings. Keishuk needs analysis posts for him alone, but even though he is obviously not without emotions at all, his place and role by Suwon's side is precisely to present him things as objectively as possible and make the most practical and efficient decisions, leaning towards machiavellianism (and I love him for that <3). Plus, contrary to Suwon, Keishuk doesn't have any emotional attachment for Yona and Hak, so while Suwon can rarely think straight when it's about them, Keishuk can, and is essential. Suwon would have never made it like he's engaged to Yona, he would have never proposed an alliance with her in the first place, nor would he have asked her to support him on the battlefield on his own. Before the alliance, Keishuk also investigated on the DDHHB behind Suwon's back, and tried to kill Yona and Hak several times because he knew they would be/have become a nuisance, while Suwon overlooked what Yona could/does represent because of his feelings.
Keishuk takes the decisions Suwon can't. And I think a part of Suwon is aware of that. Keishuk is like a point of reference and the reason he has Keishuk by his side and lets him do all these things is because he agrees that these actions are sounded and benefit Kouka in some way. Suwon would have never imprisoned Hak himself, but when Keishuk tells him about it, Suwon doesn't object. When in chapter 2 Keishuk tells Suwon to kill Yona, he doesn't object either, and readies himself to do so.
Keishuk is Suwon's speaker. Suwon rarely voices his true thoughts but Keishuk as a proxy often gives us an idea. His personality makes him more snarky and they don't agree on everything, but Suwon knows that Keishuk will always absolutely prioritizes Kouka as a whole over everything else and he can trust that. And that's also why I think Keishuk can represent one part of Suwon's psyche. He is the part of Suwon that shows no remorse for his colder decisions and is resolved to make any sacrifices needed for the sake of his goals. He is the part of Suwon that refuses to let himself be moved by his emotions and unable to make sound decisions because of it, the part of himself that won't prioritize someone only out of love or compassion.
And Yona is you could say the speaker of Suwon's feelings. Take the Hak imprisonment fiasco for example. This is a moment that shows a bit of Keishuk's vulnerability, but if you decide to read every interaction between Keishuk and Yona as some kind of metaphor of Suwon's inner conflict it's also super interesting. Keishuk wants to kill Hak because he is a threat to Suwon's life: simple and straigthforward. Keishuk doesn't love Hak and is still afraid of the danger he represents for Suwon's life at that point and very much doesn't like how Hak tries to get closer to Suwon without his approval. These are points very specific to Keishuk as an individual, related to his backstory and his personality. But this very reactive answer to Hak suddenly getting too close to Suwon is also very befitting of how Suwon feels imo. Suwon doesn't know Hak was here at that point sure, but on a meta level rejecting Hak so extremely the second he gets too close and sees him at a weak point just makes sense. Hak was the very last person Suwon wanted to be seen by this way. And him not objecting to his imprisonment is for me a sign that he is okay with things this way. He doesn't want Hak to get close. It's better like this. If Hak gets close, he can't think straight in more way than one. So let's discard him.
But then Yona enters and stops Keishuk. This scene is meant to show Yona's development and how she is able to protect Hak her own way and how Hak's life is not something she will ever compromise on, things that are distinct to her as an individual as well. But if you see Yona's rise in the castle as the rise of Suwon's closeted feelings, getting harder and harder to repress, it also shows that it got to the point where these feelings directly clash with his usual mindset, that these feelings for Hak have enough power to put a curb on the "discard every piece in your way" ideology.
Suwon is a secretive person who learned to keep most of his thoughts and feelings to himself. He is by nature someone who doesn't react to tragedies the way you would expect him to, looking detached and unconcerned. But what Akayona showed again and again is that by no mean this is equal to him being indifferent and not feeling anything at all. This is just his way of processing and dealing with grief(I'm not gonna go on a tangent on how he can be read as neurodivergent but yeah. he's so real for that). Being openly emotional like Keishuk and Yona is just not who he is as a person, it happens but only rarely, so the two of them are the perfect proxy to show the turmoil going on in Suwon's heart. Whether it's when Suwon is annoyed and angry, or when he's worried about Hak's whereabouts, they're his voice. (Interestingly Keishuk seems to be the only one convinced Hak is dead and thinks as such. Something something Suwon swaying between hoping that Hak is still alive somewhere(like Yona) and giving up on that hope(like Keishuk).)
But Suwon is not Keishuk. And actually a lot of times when Keishuk advises Suwon to kill someone, Suwon compromises to only capturing and imprisoning them or even lets them escape in Yona and Hak's cases. And one of the way I choose to interpret the Kai battle arc like is that it's all about Suwon accepting his own feelings, that even if he agrees with his father's ideology, he is his own person and he can't keep discarding the part of him that cares and loves and worries and feels. He can't keep discarding Yona and Hak. Yes Yona is needed, his own feelings are needed.
And he is not Yona either. That's why he still sees saving Mei-nyan as a nuisance. Suwon is Suwon, and being able to look at things calmly and evalutating the risks and costs of an action over another and making his decisions based on that is still very much a part of him that you can't remove.
He is somewhere between Yona and Keishuk. A King who inherently prioritizes the bigger number over a few individuals, and yet someone who genuinely likes the people around him and can be swayed by his own emotions. He is very much both his parents' child. And he has to learn to reconcile both, without discarding one or the other.
Going even further, Yona being a proxy of Suwon's feelings fits perfectly the role she has now. She always tries to help the people that Suwon discards for his goals and he used to not let her do so, as a symbol for closing himself off completely, but now he accepts it (with still some reluctance but hey!) and knows he can entrust her with it. I don't think this is inherently a bad thing and it works well with Keishuk as a parallel again, as Suwon always entrusted him with all the logistics and the things he doesn't like to think about. Keishuk also often carries the bad role and direct the negativity at him (on purpose or not) so it doesn't reach Suwon. So like, to each their own role.
TDLR: Yona and Keishuk are like the little angel and devil on Suwon's shoulders respectively telling him to save and kill.
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why do you want to get rid of tigerdove instead of trying to fix it??? no shade or anything.
TW// GROOMING, MANIPULATION
because quite honestly, there's nothing there to fix. it's just bad from the bottom down. i've seen really great rewrite aus that age tigerheart down to dovewing's age, so that they pursue each other as apprentices, which is something i considered doing since it doesn't really change much in terms of the story. however, i've come to the realization that the age gap isn't the only thing wrong with the relationship. That aside, Tigerheart is very manipulative and awful towards Dovewing, throughout the entirety of the time they've known each other, and even now that they have kits.
Someone in my TigerDove is grooming post brought up a great example of how he even went out of his way to have a whole incel breakdown to Ivypool when she stood up for herself and cut off their relationship when he was trying to pressure her back in.
("Your sister who I've groomed since she was 13 put her friends and family over me" is a crazy thing to say and rage about btw. People like to say that bumbledove is worse for the incel stuff, have completely forgotten that Tigerheart, or many men in the series really, throw a fit when they don't get what they want. It's just worse when you keep in mind that he spends 4 books isolating and manipulating her into a relationship with him since the moment she was a child, and lovebombing her when she fights back. See: their argument about Dawnpelt in The Last Hope).
People seem to have this misguided view that Tigerheartstar is this sweet himbo blorbo who loves his wife and kids, when in reality he's the complete opposite. Canon establishes him as someone who is very sneaky and great at manipulating the people around him to get what he wants. This isn't just an "Ivypool is biased" thing (though I do admit that she does hold some), it's just canonically established as the type of person tigerheart is.
(This actually isn't the first time someone points it out in the book, though I decided to stick with Squilf since she is a lot more reliable than someone like Bramblestar LOL).
While it's certainly true that he cares a lot about his family, to the point where he selfishly puts them above everything else, it's also true that he just isn't the best father. Let's not forget how he actively victim blamed Shadowsight for being manipulated by Ashfur, and ordered him to constantly remain in close proximity to care for someone who took advantage of him. Between that and him kicking out nomads from their own territory, Tigerheartstar can be interesting in the way that he's consistently written as having these glaring flaws such as poor judgement and selfishness. Which, as much as I hate the guy, I do like that about him, and therefore wish to keep that in.
However, I run into 2 problems. To start off, I don't feel comfortable writing a grooming relationship in my rewrite, it's not a subject I wish to touch. Second of all, even if I do age down Tigerheartstar, I really don't want Dovewing to be trapped in an abusive relationship, especially since her arc is about escaping that. It wouldn't make sense for her to escape to the same clan of the guy who manipulated her. It honestly makes more sense if they just remain good friends, not every forbidden meetup plot line needs to be romantic (like Firestar sneaking out to meet Princess). Maybe there will be a point in time where Tigerheart(or Goldenheart/paw in my rewrite) tricks Dovepaw for herbs or something, but it's established as awful on his part, and it very much nearly ends their friendship, which serves as a small wakeup call for him (Goldenheart is very spoiled in my rewrite so he's just used to doing whatever to get what he wants even at the expense of others). I don't know though, I still need to workshop it.
TLDR: Outside of the massive age gap, similarly to relationships like BrambleSquirrel, TigerDove is unintentionally written to be too toxic (in this case it's grooming) for me to try and fix. "Fixing" TigerDove, would be "fixing" Tigerheartstar, which you really can't do, since him being awful is just his character. I really don't feel comfortable trying to pretty up a grooming relationship anyways, best to cut it out.
edit: i decided the "evidence" i used with jayfeather wasn't exactly accurate in showing what I was trying to say, and that it would be best to cite from a more recent book. so i decided to replace it with an excerpt from Squirrelflight's Hope. dont get me wrong though it's still very much an example of him being antagonistic in the series even way back during OOTS.
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