#depending on who you ask its just good tactics

[froggy-nebula]

vriska is really funny cause when you look at the shit she actually does shes not the best at manipulating people or flarp or combat she just cant win at any of her hobbies

[monabee-draws]

Dorian confessing his intention to return to Tevinter for good is so heartbreaking in the Tresspasser DLC. Because of course he does! It doesn't come out of nowhere, he tells the inquisitor as much before they even defeat Corypheus - he loves his home country and knows that he personally needs to be the one to fix it. Not any foreign power (including you and the Inquisition) but through internal change. And he's so blasé about it when he tells you, keeping his tone light, excited for his future work with Maevaris and the Lucerni! Of course, he didn't want you to find out like that but this is a good thing. He's happy! He's practically jovial!

And then you think about how familiar that tone of voice is. And remember his romance scene, and the nonchalant way he asks you if this whole relationship is just a one-time thing. And how he jokes and jibes with you in the bad-end future during In Hushed Whispers, to the point where Leliana calls him out on the obvious attempt at levity. Barring your brushes with his family, who elicit a kind of knee-jerk anger that cracks his usual mask, Dorian is very good at maintaining that emotional wall. So you listen as your heart breaks, as you consider how to respond to the lightness of him in this devastating moment, and you realise-

Dorian is terrified. The kind of scared where you can't really voice it, not in public, not even in private spaces when you aren't 100% in control. It's scary losing a parent, even one you're not quite reconciled with. To have to take his place and fill a role you've never fit, and somehow finally actually push forward with all the ideals you've been imagining to be so far away for many years. And to do all that on the opposite side of the world from the people who all made you finally believe it could be possible in the first place?

Dorian is so very used to being the brave one, the optimistically realistic one, that he can't possibly burden you - whose heart is breaking, whose Inquisition is failing, whose body is slowly killing them - with all of his own ugly fear. That wouldn't be very charming and dependable and Dorian of him, would it? More to the point, leaning on you would be both more burdensome to you and chafe against his own stubborn pride - not accepting favours is well-established during his romance-specific quest to retrieve his birthright. So instead of taking you aside somewhere quiet, consulting you about his final decision on the matter, and giving both of you the space to grieve, he...

Well he tells Varric. And Sera, and Bull, and Cole. Part of it is practice - how might they react? Part of it is in hope for advice on how to break the news. Varric and Bull are adept speakers. Cole's whole job is compassion. Even Sera's bluntness might help when you're chronically incapable of not sugarcoating things. But all it really does it make things worse, because its a distancing tactic. Nothing can truly prepare him for the crack in your voice, the sharp sting of your flinch and the perceived betrayal.

It's almost ironic, that his romantic lock-in asks you to decide if you're in for the long haul, when Dorian's entire arc is one that will inevitably draw him back to Tevinter. And specifically in such a way as to leave you. Because he does not want you tagging along (at least not now, not as the Inquisitor.) Dorian's fear in this moment is not fully centered on you, the man he loves, but there is certainly a part of him that is back in the Inquisitor's chambers on the opposite side of that question of 'do you want me to stay.'

Dorian Pavus' greatest fear is temptation, emblazoned on his tombstone in the Fade for all to see. And there you are, with your political power, ready to jump in and save the day once again on his behalf. And he's tempted. There you are with your familiarity and a space for him in the South that accepts him for who he is. And he's tempted.

There you are. Loving him. And well...

So he doesn't lower his voice to whisper to you, or hold you too close. He confesses in public where the crowds prohibit hysterics, he sips on precious wine, and he gifts you his sending stone. It is both distance and closeness all tied with a bow. A temptation that he can just about handle. Fear under wraps. Because if he lets you, you will - without even knowing - stop his entire life in its tracks. You represent everything he can never afford to lose to. And it is wretched how desperately he doesn't want to lose you.

[nylaboon]

hi there! can you please write akito with a reader that has a crush & its suuuuuuper obvious about it, so he can't help but tease reader and get them super flustered? thank you!

Rabbit Hole — Akito Shinonome

"Gonna be a smitten mitten till the day you die?"

— in which An gets you to confess to Akito.

akito shinonome x fem!reader

tags: fluff, characters might be a little ooc, probably shit lmao i wrote this at one in the morning, cut me some slack

note: i literally squealed when i read this request i love akito sm

You've been in school for nine years, yet you still struggle with paying attention in class. It wasn't just the teachers who had poor teaching tactics, which didn't help you activate your brain for the remainder of the day, but it was also the lack of sleep you got each night. You spent more time scrolling on social media than you did working on your homework. It was the poor attention span that troubled you. It was your fault, though. You knew you should've been responsible enough to better yourself in these situations. You were getting to that age, anyway. Soon, you would be independent and no longer under the wing of safety connected to your parents.

But until then, you would continue to feed off your friends.

It helped you get things done faster, so it couldn't have been that bad. You weren't entirely dependent on them, but only just a little. Both An and Mizuki were in the same class as you, so that gave you even more of a reason to slack off whenever they attended. They didn't really mind, either. It just gave you three another reason to hang out after school, therefore it was more of a blessing than a curse. Sitting in the corner booth of Weekend Garage, sipping on piping hot coffee, chowing down on sweet treats, and praying to whatever god up there that one of them had the answers to the homework. It was the highlight of your year.

This afternoon was the same as any other. You rested your chin against the table, tapping the end of your pen against your workbook and staring off into space while An yapped Mizuki's ear off about whatever the hell they were talking about. Another part of your guys' "study session" was that it always took at least thirty minutes for you all to actually get to work. It was a lengthy process, but you still somehow managed to get work done.

After yawning and raising your head from the table to lean back comfortably against the booth seat, An switched her attention from Mizuki to you. She smirked pridefully and played with a strand of her hair. "Y'know, y/n, me and Akito did some talking during practice yesterday, and—"

"What did you do?" You asked in horror, slowly sinking down the seat. An shook her head, a sign that your fear was unnecessary. "I didn't say anything, okay?" She took a large gulp of her coffee before continuing her explanation. "We just played a little game of 'what if'."

"By 'we played' do you mean you forced him to answer your questions while he tried to get work done?" Mizuki interjected, to which An rolled her eyes playfully. "Yes, but that's not the point. The point is..."

She paused, leaving you in suspense. Her mouth stayed open for a bit, before shutting—but there was still a smirk on her face. You raised an eyebrow. "The point is?"

She shrugged. "Actually, I'll let you find out on your own."

You couldn't help but get butterflies from that sentence alone. Whether they were good or bad was unknown, but it made you feel nervous, nonetheless. "C'mon An," you begged, "don't be evil..."

You turned to Mizuki, desperation written on your face. "Do you know anything?"

"No," she answered, "nothing for sure. But can I offer my two cents?" You nodded eagerly and waited for her to speak again. "He never snaps at you, but he sure does tease the hell out of you. Odd, don't you think?"

"Right?" An agreed. "He even snaps at Toya sometimes, and that's his best friend."

"What if I just get Ena to put you on?" Mizuki questioned, to which you immediately declined her offer. You chuckled humorlessly and played with the hem of your shirt. "Absolutely not! She would totally make fun of me until the end of time. Maybe even criticize my taste in guys, if she's feeling extra mean..."

Mizuki scoffed and mocked you. "As if she can't already tell you're crushing on him."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you can't act normal around him for the life of you," the bluenette answered for her. "He doesn't even have to be in the room. We could just be talking about him and you'll start giggling like a little girl."

"No, I don't! I didn't even giggle today!"

"Yeah, because you were too busy trying to not have a panic attack over whether I told Akito about your feelings for him or not," she countered, to which Mizuki agreed.

"Yeah, it's, like, painfully obvious how bad you have it for him. I wouldn't be surprised if he already knew. Maybe that's why he teases you so much."

If that was the case, you wouldn't know what to do. If he already knew, then why wouldn't he just tell you instead of making you wait so long for a fifty-fifty answer? The thought made you want to throw up. Not that it was bad, but it was nerve-wracking. It would be nice if he did know, but what if he didn't feel the same? What then? You placed your hand on your stomach and pouted subconsciously. "All this stress is making my stomach hurt."

"And all this pussying out is making my head hurt," Mizuki joked. Meanwhile, An was scrolling on her phone, barely paying attention to the conversation now. "C'mon, y/n! I'm sure if you tell him, he'll be nice about it."

"No, he won't," you whined. "Guys are never nice about this stuff. The last time I confessed to a guy, he told the entire class and they all made fun of me for a month."

"That was in primary school, y/n..."

"So what? It still happened!"

"Y'know what?" An spoke up as she tidied up her area, putting her books and pens back into her schoolbag. "What if we help you practice a confession?" You raised an eyebrow and asked what she meant. "Mizuki will cover your eyes, and I'll pretend to be Akito. Then, you work your magic and confess!"

"Why does Mizuki have to cover my eyes—?"

"Because it'll help you focus on envisioning his presence." It didn't take a genius to know that she completely pulled that claim out of her ass, but you chose to just let her get away with it. "C'mon, y/n! It's getting sad watching you drool over him without knowing if he feels the same or not."

You let out a defeated sigh and threw your head back. "Okay, okay. We can practice, or whatever."

Little did you know that agreeing to her idea would be the best and worst decision you've ever made.

As to why you were doing this outside was a mystery. Maybe it was to avoid getting weird looks from people inside the cafe, but it was equally as bad—and probably worse—to do outside the building. You stood in front of An, awkwardly rubbing at your arm to distract yourself from the pure embarrassment you felt every time someone walked past you three. Mizuki and An, however... You really needed their confidence, because they did not seem to give a shit about gaining people's attention.

"Alright," An said cheerfully, "close your eyes and just imagine that I'm Akito. Mizuki, you cover her eyes so she can't see for sure." Mizuki did as she was told, lightly cupping her hands over your eyes. With that, An cleared her throat and spoke up a second time. "Are you imagining him?"

"Uh," you muttered nervously, "sure, I guess." It took a while for her to speak up again, but you assumed that she had gotten distracted by her phone again. "Now say what you have to say. Don't think about it; just let it flow out."

"...An, this is stupid."

"Trust me! It'll help!"

You sighed and took your time to think. Let the words flow out, you thought. It couldn't be that hard. It was like you were talking to yourself. All you had to do was just forget about An and Mizuki, and you were good. You imagined a world where everything was perfect. A world where it was just you and Akito, for the time being. A world where no one could make fun of you for expressing yourself. A world where everything went your way. You clenched your hands into fists and swallowed hard, preparing to vocalize your thoughts and feelings.

"...since you're totally Akito," you began sarcastically, still finding the whole concept to be ridiculous, "I guess now's the time to finally tell you about how much I'm soooo in love with you, and how annoying it's been to have to deal with these feelings, knowing damn well that I was way too scared to actually tell you about them without my friends forcing me to. And I guess I have to talk about how irritating it is to have to deal with your teasing without knowing if it's platonic or not. And I guess I have to talk about how this is probably a huge waste of time because I know that I'll just pussy out when I actually want to try to confess to you."

You could hear Mizuki sigh behind you. "You're not taking it seriously, y/n!"

"What's the point? It's not like I'm gonna tell him anything anytime soon, so what's the—"

During your mini-rant, you pulled Mizuki's hands away from your eyes and opened them. Instead of An standing in front of you, she was beside Akito, who was now where she stood before. You felt your entire body freeze up at the sight of him. Not only that, but your heart fell all the way down to your ass. He was smirking at you, seemingly finding the situation to be amusing.

"—That's the point," Mizuki finished for you. Not that you were even listening. You were too busy trying to not start hyperventilating. "Why are you here?" You timidly questioned. He was supposed to be at work, so why the hell was he here now?

"I'm on my break and An told me to come here," he answered smugly, not once breaking eye contact other than to blink. "What was that about you being soooo in love with me?" Your jaw clenched and your head became light. Is this what dying felt like? Because, honestly, you were hoping that your next breath was your last.

"It was just a joke," you blurted out and internally cursed at how stupid that lie was. Akito sneered and let out an 'uh-huh'. You weren't getting out of this easily, so you might as well just give up. "Akito," you muttered, "don't do this to me."

"I already knew before this," he admitted nonchalantly. "I just wanted to see how long it would take for you to tell me."

"It would've taken longer if An didn't set me up..." Maybe your crush on him was obvious, as much as you didn't want to believe it. "Can you just, like, tell me what you think so I can rest easily tonight?" He nodded and laughed a bit with that same annoying grin on his face. "I think you're cute, or whatever."

An let out an excited squeal before you could even process what he said. "And I think that you should come clean about this beforehand so we could actually…y'know."

"I don't know," you replied, to which Mizuki quickly spoke up with a grin of her own. "He wants you!" Akito sent her a glare but didn't deny it.

"You're making this a lot less enjoyable for me," he advised the girls. "But I guess that's one way to put it." It felt like the entire world was crumbling beneath your feet but in a good way. You couldn't help but play with your fingers as a nervous tic, but despite your anxiety, you were smiling. Wide. Before you knew it, you walked up to him and pulled him into a tight hug. Akito was caught off guard, but only for a bit. He eventually wrapped his arms around you as well and applied a sweet kiss on the top of your head. It was like a dream.

"Thanks, An…" you mumbled against his chest. You totally owed her after this.

written by @nylaboon

[insipid-drivel]

Warhorses: Which horses are actually good candidates, anyway?

This post is in honor of @warrioreowynofrohan, who asked the question in the comments under my guide, "Horses: Since There Seems To Be A Knowledge Gap". Their question, "Given what you said about too much weight breaking a horse’s spine, how did that work with knights in plate armour?" is one I'm going to try to answer here, since the answer can be very nuanced depending on where and when you're talking about.

Also, while I was a stable hand for years as well as a rider, I never had the opportunity to directly learn more ancient styles of tacking, horse training, and combat, so I don't have any direct experience to draw from with regard to horses used for military purposes. I'm still gonna do my best here with what I know, and research what I don't.

As I've covered in the past, large horses (draft horses) make less-than-ideal warhorses, and so do carriage horses like the elegant and dramatic Friesians.

Let's begin by addressing this from the perspective of creative writing. For you writers and content creators out there, an essential part to the continuity of any historically-themed work you do involving horses will be depicting breeds of horses that didn't exist before a certain time in history. I'm going to approach this question from the stance of, "Medieval-type era warhorses". Horses were used in warfare as late was World War II, but actual horses you ride into battle with knights and archers and bannermen? We actually have to drop the subject of specific modern breeds altogether aside from using them for comparisons.

When discussing warhorses, various cultures have approached them differently. Some cultures will value a specific type of horse above all others, such as the Mongolian Steppe Horse or the American Mustang. Other cultures, which may be from biomes and territories where multiple types of horses are needed for different forms of warfare and tactics, value whichever horses can get their jobs done without their riders getting killed.

Carrying vs. Pulling:

Horses have been used in warfare since as far back as 4000 BC, but their first applications were more as chariot horses. Humans have been riding and working with horses since before we even had stirrups to more easily ride them with! As archaeologists and anthropologists make more discoveries, the more we learn that we humans have been working closely with horses since before we had specialized tools to ride them with. The very first warhorses pulled chariots or carts, which is much easier for a horse's anatomy to handle compared to carrying a heavy weight like an armored rider on their backs, which puts stress directly on their spines where they have very little supporting muscle for supporting a lot of heavy downward weight.

Warhorse Size Categories:

Really, any breed of horse can apply to a niche in warfare if it's needed enough. Even very small, delicate horses have had their place in the history of human combat! Before I continue, it's important to know that there's a unique unit of measuring a horse's height. Rather than measuring a horse's height in centimeters or inches, they're measured in units called "hands". A single "hand" = ~4 inches/10.16cm, and a horse's height is measured based upon the distance between the bottom of their hoof to the tallest part of their shoulders, just at the base of the back of their necks. We don't actually include neck length/head height in a horse's measurements with traditional measuring.

Another rule of thumb: The average horse cannot safely carry anything heavier than about 30% of their total body weight. This is a serious factor to take into mind when deciding on a type of or breed of horse for a mounted warrior of any kind: You need to factor in the OC's starting body weight, and then add on the weight of armor, weapons, and any armor the horse itself may wear along with the weight of its tack.

Light-Weight Horses:

A few examples of lightweight horse breeds whose ancestors have historically been used in combat are Arabians, Barber Horses, and the magnificent Akhal-Teke. Lightweight and delicately-boned horses like those are best applied for military maneuvers that require precision, speed, and endurance, and the rider themselves should specialize in some form of combat or reconnaissance that doesn't require them to wear heavy metal or laminated armors. Archers are good candidates for riding smaller horses, or lightly-armored swordsmen like an Ottoman Janissary.

Central-Asian and North African horses also benefit from having a higher tolerance for hot climates. They can absolutely suffer from heatstroke and cardiac arrest from being forced to run and work in extreme temperatures and should always be provided with the same protective measures in a heatwave as any other horse, but they have a little bit of an edge over horses descended from freezing and temperate climates.

Medium-Weight Horses:

Medium-weight horses started showing up in the archaeological record around about the Iron Age, where chariot warfare was becoming an increasingly utilized form of mobile combat, and people needed bigger, stronger horses capable of pulling heavier loads - such as a chariot with two passengers rather than just one. As cultures began to develop heavier-duty armors made of metals and laminated materials, it also became important to breed horses that were tall and stocky (muscular and with relatively short spines compared to their height), and therefore more capable of carrying riders in increasingly heavy armor. Medium-weight horses were also essential at the dawn of the gunpowder age when the cannon came into use in siege warfare for pulling the heavy, iron cannons into position.

Medium-weight horses are really where we see the beginnings of knights and other warrior classes on horseback come into the forefront of warfare. When you have a horse that's big and strong enough to carry heavier armor and heavier weapons along with a rider wielding them, you have a much deadlier force at your disposal. Strikes from a sword or spear from the back of a galloping horse basically results in a sword capable of cutting through enemy soldiers like a hot knife through butter.

Important Note: Traditionally, cavalrymen wield blunt swords when attacking from a charging horse's back. When a horse is charging at full speed, the sharpness of a blade becomes less important than the blade's ability to stay in one piece when it impacts hard armor and bone. A blunted edge basically turns a cavalryman's sword into a thin club that's better at holding up against smashing through multiple layers of armor and bone compared to a thinner, more delicate sharpened edge that can shatter from a high-speed impact.

Heavy-Weight Horses:

The direct ancestors of modern draft horses, such as the Shire Horse, only began to appear around about the beginning of the European Medieval Era, and were far and away not even close to the enormous sizes of the draft horses we have today. Any horse counts as a "Heavy-weight" classed horse if its weight exceeds 1500lbs/680kgs.

Heavy-weight horses were really more bred for pulling enormous weights rather than carrying knights. While yeah, there is some evidence that suggests that heavy-weight horses were used by heavily-armored knights, historians argue a lot about whether it was a rule or an exception (such as with Henry VIII, who continued to ride well after he had begun to weigh more than 350lbs/158kgs, and even went to war in France in his final years on horseback). Generally speaking, medium-weight horses tend to be the right balance of agile and strong for carrying someone that's going to actively be fighting. Heavy-weight horses were bred to be a lot more tolerant to the chaos and frightening stimulation of the sounds of battle, but medium-weighted horses generally tended to be more suited to moving efficiently through dense packs of soldiers and weaving around other horses.

Ponies:

While actually being the smallest class of warhorse, ponies were essential when it came to carrying cargo and working as pack-horses. In certain forms of terrain, such as mountains, large horses pulling big carts full of supplies or soldiers could often be extremely impractical. In situations where an army needed to move on foot and form a narrow line in order to travel, ponies were able to traverse much narrower and rougher terrain while carrying smaller loads to their destination, when heavier horses would struggle more under their own weight and dexterity.

Europe-Specific Terminologies:

If you're a writer reading this and writing a piece set in the European Medieval age, there are specific terms used for the different classes I listed of warhorses above that I'm gonna list:

Destriers: The Destrier was a universal term for the iconic knight-carrying, jousting horse. They were also sometimes referred to as "Great Horses" due to their reputations in combat settings. Destriers could have just about any appearance, but were rarely taller than 15.2 hands, or 62inches/157cm. They were capable of carrying heavily-armored knights (although knights in full plate mail rarely rode into battle and stayed on the horse the entire time - they tended to specialize at grouping up and killing a lot of footsoldiers swarming them at once and preventing breaks in defenses from being overwhelmed by an oncoming army; in the case of Edward the Black Prince, we have substantial evidence in the form of his surviving brigandine that a mounted soldier or knight was more likely to wear chainmail and brigandine with a tabard on their body with their arms, feet, and heads the most heavily armored in plate when they intended to fight on horseback, making them a little lighter and more maneuverable, but I may be waaay off base there because I'm thinking of more of Italian soldiers who used full plate and how they applied it in battle more than any other example) and wearing armor themselves.

Interestingly, the sex of a destrier was often chosen strategically. Stallions (horses that haven't been neutered) are more aggressive, and could both act as combatants on their own if their knight was dismounted or killed, but could give away an army's location if they were attempting to move stealthily. Stallions whinny and shriek a lot when they're horny or arguing with each other, which is most of the time.

Mares were often chosen by Muslim armies for being much less vocal, and therefore much more capable of stealth. Geldings (neutered males) were the preferred mounts of the Teutonic Knights, a Catholic military group, since they couldn't be stolen and used to breed more horses for the enemy army.

Coursers:

Coursers were the most common Medieval European warhorse. It's important to remember that in Medieval Europe, most armies were almost entirely comprised of common men - serfs subject to the will of their landlords, not far removed from slaves in many ways - who couldn't afford the highly-prized and expensive Destriers. Coursers were usually a bit lighter than Destriers, but were still strong enough to carry someone wearing armor. Coursers were also a little more utilitarian, because they were also sometimes used in hunting as well as warfare, so they had a valuable use outside of warfare that the owner could benefit from.

Rouncey:

A rouncey was an all-purpose horse that could be used for leisure and travel-riding as well as be trained for war. They were a lot more likely to be found on the farm of a serf or independent farmer of some kind, as they could fill a lot of different roles depending on what they were needed for. Their sizes weren't really important as much as their ability to get the job done.

It's also critical to remember that, when talking about warhorses, we're usually talking about eras long past. In general, thanks to resource availability and incredible advances in medicine, modern humans are significantly taller, and therefore heavier, than people from the European Medieval era and prior. While fatness was valued in many cultures for its suggestion of wealth, most working-class and serf-class people worked intensely physically-demanding daily lives just to maintain their own homes. They were a few inches shorter on average than we are today, had greater fluctuations in body fat distribution depending on how harsh or bountiful the harvest season had been and the season in which a war was taking place (the average person's weight would swing by 30lbs or more on average every year prior to the industrial era), and cavalry were usually chosen based upon skill in the saddle as well as physical size when considering the application of medium or heavy armor being placed on the horse's back and body.

[the-guppy-fish]

Cold snake.

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

Tags: colleagues to friends to lovers, hesitation, confessions, callsign: Viper, its a little long, but! smut will follow, 3 parts...maybe more to come.

Content warnings: none. (other than my possible spelling mistakes)

Summary: Ghost being a little soft...for now. (2,8k words)

Edited slightly: 27.11.24 (military inaccuracies)

About Vipers: named after the family Viperidae, they are venomous and have long hinged fangs that permit deep penetration and injection of their venom. These snakes can decide how much venom to inject depending on the circumstances. Rattlesnakes for example, have evolved the strike-and-release bite mechanism, which provides a huge benefit to snakes, by minimizing contact with potentially dangerous prey animals.

Vipers come in many different sizes and colours, they are highly adapted to their environment and the type of prey they hunt.

You and Ghost fled the warehouse. The mission had been successful. While Ghost kept the coast clear, you retrieved the confidential documents, Price wanted you to secure from a target warehouse. Once the documents were safely tucked inside the pocket of your tactical vest, you gave Ghost the sign to get out of there.

Just as you left the warehouse, you heard Price in your earpiece,

"Ghost, Viper, get the hell out of there. Enemy activity confirmed by drones. Safehouse Foxtrot-Whiskey-Bravo is clear. Pick-up tomorrow at 1700 at the safehouse. Radio-silence until then. Do not answer. Price out."

You and Ghost simply nodded at each other, silently running off in direction of the safehouse, while keeping eyes and ears open for any activity in and around the warehouse. Once you had laid back a decent amount of space between you and the rusty warehouse, running through tall grass sprinkled with frost, you walked the remaining distance to the safe house in silence, still being alert to your surroundings.

A few hours pass, and the sun begins to set. You're still marching towards the safehouse, now crossing a large meadow surrounded by trees. The cold creeps into your nostrils and fingertips, as the warming rays of sunlight slowly hide beneath the horizon. Your breath is visible, pulsing through the fabric of your balaclava in small clouds. Ghosts breath-clouds are much larger than yours, his huge lungs needing a lot more air than yours, to feed oxygen to all his muscles.

You can see the small safe house not too far away, hiding in between large pine trees. While walking the last few hundred meters, your eyes fall onto Ghosts back, clad in tactical gear and tucked-in weapons. The leg of his camouflage trousers slightly fluttering in the cold breeze, the grey fabric hugging his hips just right. Do you feel bad about looking? Not at all. It is not the first time your eyes linger on him, how could you not? When he is so largely built and looks like he has been sculpted by a group of goddesses, who knew exactly what they were doing?

Your relationship to Ghost used to be very professional. You only spoke together when needed. Always kept the conversation light and work-related. When you were surrounded by the rest of the 141, you barely even glanced at each other.

It was safe to say, you were surprised beyond your imagination, the day Ghost began small-talking with you.

A few weeks back, when you were home on base, the huge brute of man asked you, if you had had a good day. Just like that. Over dinner in the mess hall. While it was just the two of you. Normally you would have just ate in silence and then given the other a polite nod once you finished, and left. But no. You carefully chatted with him, being slightly SUPER suspicious of his friendliness. After finishing your meals, the conversation naturally died, and you went to each your dorms.

The following evening it happened again, and then he evening after that, and all the following ones. But always when it was just the two of you. Ghost would go completely silent if any one else joined you.

You slowly began to talk more and more, sharing more and more details of your lives. Even though Ghost rarely shared anything from his life. If he did, oddly enough, he mostly shared about his favourite meals or new movies in the telly.

You began to talk throughout the day, not just at dinner. When he caught you in the briefing room or in either of your offices, he initiated a conversation, eyes fixed to your face, looking at every little polite smile and expression you made.

But always, when you two were alone.

One time, Soap walked in on one of your conversations in the common room. You had stood with your back to Ghost, rummaging in the small tea-kitchen, trying to make a cuppa for the both of you. Ghost watched your every move, how your clothes hugged you frame, while listening intently.

You did not notice Soap entering, before turning around and only seeing Soap.

Ghost nowhere to be found.

"Who are ye talking to bonnie?", Soap looked at you with confused eyes.

"Uhm, I was just talking to Ghost." you answered, perplexed at Ghosts sudden disappearance.

"Seems like he flew away, bon. Don't feel bad about it, you know how he can be." You tried to hide your disappointment, while Soap eyed the second cup of tea in your hands with large puppy eyes.

When you met Ghost later that evening at dinner, he initiated conversation as he did every dinner, but the conversation failed to reach around his disappearance. You let it go, thinking he had to leave for some important reason unbeknownst to you.

The conversation moved along, you finished eating and you chatted back and forth, like some table tennis ball experiencing the match of its life.

While talking you accidentally unconsciously touched his arm, which was resting on the table you ate at, while telling a (to you) very exhilarating story about your latest attempt at making a new soup at home.

You were so enthralled with your story telling, that you completely disregarded the shift in Ghosts form.

He went from sitting sluggishly, resting his elbows on the table, arms crossed, and looking at your lips, while you rambled on and on about that soup.

Ghost cared little about soup, but when you spoke about it, it seemed to be the most interesting topic of conversation ever. When your fingers found his forearm and snaked around his bare skin, he froze. His mind short circuiting and vision blurring. Still looking at you, feigning his newfound interest of soup, every fibre in him focussed on your soft skin on his rough and scarred one. He fell deeper and deeper into the blur your touch had created in his mind. All his thoughts vapourised and no sound was picked up by his ears.

All to sudden, Ghost was ripped from his hyper focussed state by your voice.

"Ghost? Hey, what do you think?" He blinked the fog away from his eyes, cleared his throat, and croaked out a quick "sorry?", focussing his eyes on yours, mind still running laps in his skull over your fingers resting on his arm.

"I asked, whether you think the soup would be better with or without garlic?", you looked at him with a small smile, expecting his answer curiously.

Ghosts ears peaked at your question, and he could not avoid the small smile forming on his lips under the fabric covering his face.

"With." was all he managed to say, which earned him a satisfied smile from you.

"I'll try that next time then."

With that, you gave his arm a quick squeeze and lifted your fingers from his skin to pick up your tray. Your touch and bold display of comfort around him made his mind grow foggy again.

"You done as well?" You stood up with your hands on your tray and nodded to the one beside him. He gave you a silent nod, and you pulled his tray across the table to balance yours on top of it.

While you went up to return the trays, Ghost sat completely stunned, waiting for you to return, so he could walk you to your dorm (another thing he had absentmindedly begun doing).

Back in the meadow, you and Ghost had reached the treeline and made it to the poor example of a safe house: a simple shed, neatly tucked away by the large pines, small enough for you to question whether there was space enough for two rooms in it.

And you were right. The sheds interior consisted of a small fireplace, a bunkbed, a large chest and a table with two chairs. Everything looked well used and ancient in your eyes, the smell of old cigarettes and firewood confirmed your suspicion about this place being many decades older than you.

Ghosts deep voice tore you from your disappointed thoughts about the safehouse.

"You're on top." While he began stripping out of his gear, placing it neatly beside the lower bunk, he had claimed for himself.

You followed along, closing the wooden door and bolting it shut with the large piece of wood acting as a lock. You laid your gear at the foot-end of your bed, as to keep it close while you slept, should anyone want to pay your shed a visit during the night. Your gut told you that this place was safe enough, for you to relax in. The remote location, the bolted door, and Ghosts presence, assured you that this was good enough for tonight.

Neither you nor Ghost lit up the fireplace, knowing the smoke outside and light from inside the shed could lead anyone to your super cozy hiding spot. The shed was safe enough to not have one of you keep watch for the night. So far away from anyone and anything, bolted and locked, no light or other visible factors making it stand out. No one knew anyone was here, besides Price.

After having settled into the thin mattress, under a thick wool blanket Ghost had pulled from the chest, you tried to get some rest.

But sleep never came to you, as the cool air crept inside and under your blanket. For what felt like hours, you laid crumpled up like a small ball to keep, whatever heat was left, close to your body. But nothing worked, the cold bore into your skin and settled uncomfortably in your bones.

You scolded yourself: as a special forces soldier, you were supposed to fend for your self in every possible way; and you usually did so, perfectly.

But this never ending, merciless cold was going to beat you.

Your stubbornness kept you from climbing down to look for another blanket. But also the thought of waking up Ghost; anyone who woke him up from his precious few hours of sleep, would feel his wrath in the morning.

So you stayed. Freezing and shivering under your heavy blanket. Just existing in the coldness, hoping that some heat would come your way, at some point.

Heat never came, but a deep voice did instead.

"Viper?" Ghost called out quietly.

Your teeth clattered at you let out a weak "yeah?".

Ghosts gravelly voice made its way to your ears again, "If you don't stop shaking my bunk with your shivers, you can sleep on the floor." His oh so humorous comment made you shiver even harder, and you mumbled a quiet "sorry", wrapping the blanket impossibly tighter around you.

Once again you tried falling asleep, willing the shivers to stop, only for them to return with even greater force than before.

You heard Ghost sigh from his mattress beneath you. The bed croaked and you sensed a shadow move in line with your eyes, over the edge of the bunk bed.

Ghost had gotten out of his blanket-cocoon and stood centimetres from your icy face.

"Did you not hear me before?", his hot breath fanned over your frozen features, warming you just enough to answer him in a full sentence.

"I did..sorry.. I just can't get warm." Your voice came out much weaker, than you had hoped for, and seemingly did nothing to stir empathy within Ghost. As if not accepting your weak apology, he pulled the blanket from your shivering form and quietly said "get down."

Puzzled, you unfolded your cold body in a sloth-like motion, slowly climbing down the bed. You stood in front of Ghost, not believing that he actually wanted you to sleep on the floor.

After all, you were the same rank, so he could not order you to do it. So you stood before him, shivering furiously, waiting for him to actually tell you to sleep on the hard, wooden floor, just so you could weakly scold him for trying to punish you.

He said nothing, sat down on his mattress and rolled in under his blanket, his back facing the wall. You stayed on your feet, absolutely confused beyond your mind.

You knew Ghost could act weird from time to time, but this was beyond the usual weirdness of him.

The moonlight from outside only cast enough light inside, for you to make out the outline of his body. Once he had settled, he opened the blanked towards you, which only sent a waft of cool air towards you. As you stayed on your sock-clad feet, still so, so confused, Ghost quietly told you "come 'ere. Can't 'ave you freezing like that."

And like a much faster sloth you slid into the oh so warm comfort of his strong arms and the thick blanket covering him. He wrapped his arms around you, making sure that the blanked covered every millimetre of you.

"Christ Viper, you're like an icicle." His hot breath fanned over your head as he pulled you into his warm embrace.

Your shivers slowly ebbed out, leaving you smushed up, face first, against Ghosts t-shirt covered chest, arms awkwardly tucked close to your own chest. You became embarrassingly aware of just how close you were to one another.

You tried to shimmy away from him, just a little bit; get a some space between the two of you. Keep it professional, you know. But a strong hand around your middle kept you close.

"Stay", Ghost whispered, hugging you closer again, wordlessly telling you that he didn't mind you being this close to him.

With the warmth seeping into your body, the words returned to your mouth in a quiet whisper, "I thought you wanted me to sleep on the floor."

A quick, exhale blew onto the top of your hair and his low voice sounded above your head, "I did" , followed by an even quieter whisper, "but then i remembered, that i like you."

Heat rose to your face, warming your cheeks. You knew Ghost tolerated you, maybe even enjoyed your company from time to time, he definitely liked looking at you, based on how often you felt his eyes on you.

But that he liked you. Oh boy.

"I didn't know you liked me", you whispered into his chest, raising your face to look up at his moonlit, masked one.

His eyes found yours in the dim light, "I do. 'ave for a long time."

Ghosts rough fingers slowly slid up along your spine, fingers gliding over the soft fabric of your shirt. His fingers reaching and curling around the, now warm, skin of you neck. You felt his thumb soothingly swipe back and forth on that very soft patch of skin on the side of your neck.

You hummed at his admission, melting into the touch of his fingers on your skin.

Not knowing how to respond verbally, you turned your palms from your own soft chest, to his much more muscular one, gently squeezing his muscles, to let him know his whispers were heard.

The warmth had truly settled inside you by now, and your eyelids grew heavy, threatening to block the view of Ghosts dark, moonlit eyes looking at your tired ones.

During a dangerously slow blink of your eyelids, Ghosts hand squeezed your neck; just enough to get your attention, but not hard enough for you to open your heavy lids in attention.

"Get some rest Viper. Sleep well." His whispers made a tired smile tug at your lips, and you responded with another whisper.

"Goodnight Ghost."

In front of your closed eyes, a satisfied smile grew behind Ghosts mask. His eyes glanced over your face, taking in the sight of your calm face: eyes closed, brows at ease, just a hint of a smile on your lips and deep, steady breaths blew quietly through your nostrils.

He almost couldn't believe that you were actually sleeping in his arms. He could almost not believe that he had had the courage to pull you close and be soft with you.

His troubling and traumatic past made him fear close relationships, afraid that the people close to him would get hurt. With you though, it was different. Ghost knew you could handle any challenge thrown at you, just like himself. He knew how strong and capable you were, and it pulled him closer to you. Made his heart skip a beat or two, when ever your mere presence filled the room with authority and control.

He had wanted to let you this close to him for a while the last many many weeks, but could never muster the bravery, and did not want to scare you away. To not make you think he was some creep, like other soldiers on base, he took it slow; showed you more and more of himself in adequate amounts.

Ever since your soft fingers had snaked around his arm that evening in the mess hall, he had wanted to reciprocate the comfort and affection, but an occasion had never come along.

Until now. And he was filled with glee, deep into the marrow of his bones.

Ghost held you a little tighter, feeling your body against his. He sucked in the warmth of your skin against his and sweet smell of your hair. His smile only growing larger and more giddy (not an emotion, Ghost was truly familiar with yet)

Gently, he brought his masked lips down on your forehead, giving you a feather light kiss.

"Sweet dreams little snake"

[mako-neexu]

all guda related stuff in mahoyo collab

summoning as a highly complicated magecraft -> highly intact sense of self, magical energy, magical crest, sheer willpower........you who is light and equally dark....

casual comments/banter to the people they trust

guda getting shocked of all things at a talking bird www

gudako -> young girl that likes to jog every morning

gudao -> brat that likes small time candy store sweets

UGH the further emphasis on Servants being familiars that no one - not anyone should just use (exceptional...)

stressing the role of a 'Master'

'I also make mistakes a lot'

"I still don't see what's so special about summoning."

guda screams during summons? lmao kind of reminds me of mash with lord camelot

the way guda just refers to other people as 'that another human' www (i know 'person' is more accurate but to me it sounds like an alien in disguise calling someone as 'fellow human' ww)

Of COURSE guda knows how to stop their own pulse

disbelief. perhaps gut feeling. guda's perception of death to others. (i guess in the face of unnatural they would doubt it. but considering Id chapter, it would depend on the person and how theyre closest to?)

'more like tobimaru' 'more like soujyuurou' getting angry on behalf of someone without letting it show as well... i Understand.

THE TOPIC OF AGING KILLS ME. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE HESITANT????? dont yokuwakaranaina ME????

Don't face world-ending disasters alone

IM CRYING OH MY GOD IM NOT WELL "did you sleep well?" "i slept peacefully because the night was quiet and nice" AUGH GUDAAAAA😭

probably nothing of note but additional descriptor to guda is that they look like a college student as compared to previous descriptions of being 'high school student'.......

not being good at horror stories 🥹 reminds me of summer 5...

(unwell) i forget about guda's tactical prowess sometimes (lies) + guda's mention of the looking glass reminds me of berkercas valentines...

Subtle but gudao's reaction to beating down kashin is 'exhausted or relieved' meanwhile for dako she has the 'doubt' in her dialogue

subtle again but theres a hesitance to guda when asked about what the future looked like. but their second option is saying "eh there arent any flying cars anyways"

ahh okay now i know the crypto stuff guda said. its from gudao. is this MHX's influence lmao. gudao youre advertising crypto seriously? ww

guda casually joking about the times they astral project out of their body likes its nothing and mash is not normal either of course and treats it as regular occurrences. well, its regular but for a normal average person in the 21st century, it certainly isnt ww

GUDA ONCE AGAIN PROVING that despite being 'camera' for us players, they actively hide information and i am not over that fact. (knowing who the culprit is before most of the rest-)

guda not hesitating at ALL to rayshift back to 1999 where the end of the world was supposed to happen www

Ah!! To encourage kinomi in confessing, guda confessed their own out in the open!!!

A bakery with the one they love / A wish to reach the South Pole

You may not be able to have all of your dreams, your nights be peaceful, but I hope that you will still be rewarded at the end of your journey 😭

[writingforatwistedworld]

Bigger request that I will cut in smaller pieces so I can serve soup.

Self-aware au

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, murder, manipulation, implied imprisonment, death, cannibalism, obsession, possessiveness, unhealthy relationship

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

Entering your world

Azul felt like an octopus out of water

When he had heard Jade yelling out a warning it was already too late and he was already falling down the stairs, a student he made a deal with not too long ago standing not too far, his hands lowering themselves from the pushing him

And now he was laying on the floor in a place he didn't recognize

Moonlight filtered through the window of the room and a sleeping figure almost completely covered by a blanket was illuminated by its light and the light from the phone they were laying next to, indicating that they fell asleep whilst using it

Did he teleport to a different place? Azul still felt the burning sensation of the hard stone of the stairs hitting his body so he might have done that out of desperation...

And desperate he was when you turned over in your sleep and he could see your face

And thus, the screaming began

Imagine his surprise, no his shock after seeing the person he had admired, sought after for so long laying in front of him in their pajamas

Although, it would be better to say you did lay in your pajamas because now you were jumping up in fear for your life

But after fearing that a madman had broken into your house life with Azul was pretty nice

Azul is a pretty good cook from running Mostro Lounge so him making dinner is like going to an expensive restaurant

There is that thing about him wanting to pay you rent though…

You see, Azul is not someone who wants to leech (haha, get it?) off of someone

So, of course, he will give you money… though it is might be way too much

How he gets it?

You know, just some side jobs… a few contracts… give him a month and he will have the cafe down the street because the owner used it in a contract with Azul

“But he doesn’t have the twins so there is no way that he is dangerous” oh darling, you have seen NOTHING

Yeah, Azul isn’t good in sports, Azul hates anything that has to do with it so there is no way he will get ripped and start beating people into submission (also, that is below his level) but my man has tactics

In fact, he could haggle you out of your house, your job, your family (basically everything you own) whilst you walk happily away from the deal with nothing but a single shell in your pocket

Soon he will propose that you simply stay at home whilst he earns the money

He is just so thankful that you took him in so let him repay you

That repayment might end in him making you dependent on him but who am I to tell you that? Surely you have already understood what he is tryi- why are you saying yes?

Say goodbye to freedom. Say goodbye to your friends and family. Say goodbye to privacy

Although Azul has built up (scarily fast) his life in this world that still doesn’t mean he feels very safe here

Everyone is a human and who knows what scientists would do to him once they find out that he is capable of magic

So he is clingy… you might have lost blood circulation to your lower body once or twice due to him being unseperatable from you

If someone somehow (don’t ask me how) got close to you though? Oh they are done

Remember that haggling thing? Yeah that but with less haggling and more “I force you into a contract and then you will meet your doom”

They do serve desserts at cafes… wouldn’t eat those at his though

You would be surprised if you knew how easy it is to hide human remains in pastries

[corviiids]

ok wait im back for the kira game. bc i feel like its remiss to ask about goro and not ren. but also is it cheating if it's not just ren it's the phantom thieves as a whole

let's do the phantom thieves because i don't think ren has a chance on his own. sorry ren i love you but it's not gonna happen.

verdict: grudging maybe using the anime powers of friendship and being a protagonist and futaba's anime hackerman skills, but in my heart it's a no, at least not unscathed

could the phantom thieves intuit the mechanics of the death note

no. no normal person could intuit these mechanics. this answer 9 times out of 10 is gonna be a no, we've just been dealing with a lot of oustanding fictional detectives. makoto or futaba might notice that kira needs a name and a face. ren maybe, maybe, but it's not very likely given early game phantom thief (annrenryujimorgana) investigation tactics were literally completely useless running around fetchquesting scenes. ren sometimes has good ideas and is pretty insightful, but he makes more of an excellent watson, not a sherlock. this isn't really his forte. no one else is getting close. this isn't because i actually think makoto is a super smart detective type, it's just that the game always gives any deductive dialogue to her because the game has decided she's The Smart One and futaba is The Computer One and yusuke is The Art One etc etc etc, and smart at book means good at detective, and we honestly do not have time to go into all that bull shit.

once they ID light, further investigation into the metaverse + using futaba's skills might get them closer, but they wouldn't figure this out on their own.

could the phantom thieves identify light yagami

yes, but im saying this grudgingly. the phantom thieves' method of investigation drives me crazy. they identify madarame by breaking into his house, they (makoto) identify kaneshiro by demanding random thugs drive them to kaneshiro's house, they identify futaba by breaking into her house, they. hm

what im saying is they're gonna find light by getting very vaguely suspicious of him and then checking the metanav for his name. after they've got his name they'll be like a dog with a bone.

i think futaba would be able to use Fictional Hacker Abilities (where anything with a computer is possible) to work out that kira's been accessing the police databases and makoto/MAYBE ren might be able to work out from there that he's connected to the police. that might point them to light. once they get his name, they'll be able to question him in the metaverse to get the info about the death note mechanics.

could they survive (/ could they win)

im bundling these because both will depend on whether the pt are smart about this. if they do literally anything to tip light off (like breaking into his house) then they're all gonna die. also, to flip things a bit, if light works out that they're the phantom thieves, they are also gonna die, because as soon as they leave him a calling card he's gonna write their names. so it's all going to depend on whether they can change his heart before he becomes suspicious of them. if they manage to infiltrate his palace before he tries to kill them, they should make sure they're in the palace and lying in wait to grab the treasure before they leave the calling card. that way as soon as light reads the card they can get in and get out instead of giving light an entire battle's worth of time to write all their names down. but seeing as they literally never do that i do not think this is going to occur to them

to be honest. i think at least some of the phantom thieves are gonna die. they lack subtlety to a fatal degree. it is not difficult to figure out who they are. light has really any number of ways to work this out. manipulate and kill one of ren's confidants, utilise police contacts to see if there's a list of suspects, literally be in shibuya while the pt are at their 'hideout' (random walkway). i think at least some of them are gonna die unless they make up a really extremely stupid counter-gambit which works because of anime. can you tell im still bitter about some of the stupid shit that happens in this game

so yes i think they could change light's heart but i think at least a couple of thieves are gonna die about it

[meekoftheweek]

**SPOILER WARNING FOR "SLAY THE PRINCESS"**

I know I said in my post from earlier that I didn't want to put anything out there that might be spoilers but I'm going more in depth because I can't just let these thoughts go away

the thing that resonated with me about this game and its characters and themes was the portrayal of gender roles and the way that they manifest in heterosexual relationships

now, I know that seems like weird connection to make and a bit out of left field but let me explain

we can start with a quick summary

you play as "The Long Quiet", who is told by his inner consciousness to seek out a princess, who we eventually discover is "The Shifting Mound"

Now, we have a man being told his only purpose has to come through a woman by his inner conscience, a predisposed expectation thrust upon our main character. Even worse, when attempting to leave this incredibly confined chain of events, the world collapses, unable to function without this key part of his destiny.

If we look at just the names of our two main characters, we can see that they fit nicely into the old fashioned problematic gender roles of men and women in a heterosexual relationship.

"The Long Quiet" never speaks a word throughout the game, his only form of communication is text based or inner monologue and although this may just be a tactic by the developers to make him more relatable to a wider audience I have trouble seeing this as non deliberate.

Although great progress has been made, men still struggle with talking openly and honestly about their feelings, dealing with the inner conflict of trying to tough things out and deal with their problems on their own and with their own experiences and wisdom instead of speaking up and asking for help. This is why the voices are such an important part of the story, they each represent a branch of possible advice for Quiet, a different perspective - commenting on what should happen next.

It is only through the use of the mirror that these inner voices dissapate, leaving us room to think about ourselves and the decisions we have made free of expectation and worry. It shows our true self and the consequences of our action, no good or bad biases.

Next, we get to "The Shifting Mound" dummed down and objectified as simply "The Princess" - already indicitve of the themes of pre assigned gender roles and ideas. We, as Quiet, in our very first run are encouraged to make a choice - kill or save the princess. It is through following the path of blind devotion and saving her without a second thought that we arrive at the path of The Smitten, a new voice that emerges within us that wants nothing more than to blindly love the princess for all of eternity. This kind of unhealthy attachment is directly addressed by the other voices and when we interact with the princess, she is shown to both physically and mentally simplify before our very eyes. In the mind of The Smitten, the princess is nothing more than a cardboard cutout, a vaugely womanly shaped being without an ounce of depth or meaning, and this is exactly what she becomes, through the conversation with her, she slowly begins to lose all of her meaning, loudly proclaiming after every question you ask that all she wants to do is make you happy - this eventually reaches a breaking point in which this is all she can say. becoming truly emotionless and void of any possible sign of humanity in order to fill our selfish idea of love.

this ties into her name and her role in the game - she's labelled as "The Shifting Mound" and depending on our choices - In another word "us", she will change her form and personailty in order to fit our expectations. This ties into the problematic old fashioned expectations of women to change themselves to fit the wants and needs of men, which cruelly removes them of the ability to genuinely express and be themselves. It is only through repeatedly exploring the different versions and facets of the princess that we eventually learn to truly love her, all of these parts must be accepted - the key to a healthy relationship being a mutual acceptance and understanding of both people involved - free of the societal expectations that bind the way we think and percieve one another.

this is why this game resonated so much with me. these beautiful themes of being more than your label and breaking free from the monotonous loop of holding yourself back in the case of Quiet or changing yourself in the case of Mound for the sake of your significant other I feel is a really important and valuable message, no mattter who you are.

anyway rant aside go play this game it's really good!

[duhragonball]

Chainsaw Man ch. 48-52

Gosh, I wish that was me.

Last time, Chainsaw Man got suckered in by a cute girl named Reze, who turned out to be some sort of assassin with explosion powers. Now they're fighting it out, but Denji's usual strategy of "hit them with chainsaws" is kind of ineffective against someone who can repeatedly self-destruct and regenerate.

Parts of Reze's transformed body look like a mass of cables, maybe primacord. One of her fingers gets cut off and it's still stuck on Denji's chainsaw after their next exchange, and she uses it like a bomb. I'm not clear on how her powers work exactly, but she seems to be able to remove any part of her body and use it like a bomb, or just blow it up while it's still attached. Also, she seemed to have a duplicate body she used as a decoy, so good luck explaining that one.

The point here is that the explosions are just the beginning. Reze knows how to use her abilities in a very tactical way. One might assume that she tried to seduce Denji because she was too weak to challenge him directly, but we see here that this was never the case. She just wanted to try a subtle approach, but that was never the only option.

But fighting Denji in the open means you also have to deal with his comrades in Public Safety. Aki lops off one of her hands just when it seems like she's beaten Denji, and then she has to fight him for a while. Recall that Aki has a new power courtesy of Future Devil, which gives him a slight insight into the future. This allows him to anticipate his opponent's actions, although he doesn't mean he'll necessarily be quick enough to do anything about it. Still, it's enough to keep him alive while he duels with Reze, at least until...

Violence Fiend shows up to pull him out of harm's way. Violence Fiend tried to fight Reze earlier, but he got overwhelmed and ran away. I'm seeing this a lot with the Public Safety guys. They'll sometimes just turn tail and run, then come back when you least expect it and actually do something useful. Is that cowardly? I guess it depends on how you look at it, but if Violence had stood his ground earlier, he proabably would have gotten killed, and Aki would have died later on with no one to rescue him. These guys pick their spots. They're hunters, not warriors, so it's kind of ridiculous to expect them to stand and fight their prey when they're at a disadvantage.

Anyway, the key thing here is that Aki says this is the first time he ever wanted to be friends with a devil. So at long last, he's beginning to come around to the things Himeno wanted him to understand. Aki's grief, his craving for vengeance, and his absolute disdain for devils was working against his ability to fight and survive in this line of work. Now, as the story picks up steam and the battles become more desperate, he's learning to be more flexible about his attitudes.

Violence might have been enough to turn the tide here, except Reze has her own backup in the form of Typhoon Devil, who was also after Denji but they seemed to be working independently of each other. They crossed paths back in Chapter 43, and it was all awkward becuase they got in each other's way, and Reze told Typhoon to obey her for a while to make it up to her. So now she's calling him in.

I... feel like I should have more to say about Typhoon Devil being a pile of viscera with baby legs and a baby head with an exposed brain sticking out of its broken cranium, but... I kind of don't care? I don't know if I'm just desensitized at this point, or maybe the design really isn't that big a deal, but I feel like it should be.

Anway, Denji recovers once Beam and Angel feed him more blood. Notably, Angel Devil uses blood from a fatally wounded civilian, and he mercy-kills the lady before taking her corpse to Denji. That's important because Aki asked him to do something similar earlier in this arc, and Angel refused, more out of apathy than defiance.

Angel suggests that Chainsaw needs to step up his game, and asks Beam to tell them everything he knows about Chainsaw, since he seems to know him better than he lets on. Beam mentions that he used to use his chains to get around. I'm not sure what this is referring to, because it's like he's talking about the Chainsaw Devil before Denji got this power, and... well, that's just Pochita, right?

I think the implication here is that Pochita used to be a much more fearsome creature before he met Denji, and Beam might be the only one who remembers this. Anyway, I think it's pretty clear that he was talking about Denji swinging around and using his chains like Spider-Man webbing, but Denji's an idiot so he puts the chain in Beam's mouth and rides him through the air like a horse.

But it does look pretty awesome, so maybe he's got the right idea, I dunno. Denji doesn't tell me how to do my job, so I shouldn't tell him how to do his.

During all of this, Typhoon Devil produces a storm, and Angel Devil is nearly carried away by the high winds. Aki catches him, but can barely hold on, and Angel's like "Just let me go, I sort of want to die anyway, it's cool."

But Aki refuses to give up, so he grabs Angel by the hand, which is a really bad idea, because Angel's touch will automatically drain a human's life span. That brief contact alone took two months off the time Aki has left, but it was the only way to save Angel. Angel asks him why, and Aki tells him that he's seen too many people die already, and if Angel really does have a death wish, then he should make sure to die while Aki's not around to stop it.

Okay! Right there, Aki finally started to turn this around. He's actually having a character moment with Angel, and growing as a person. He's matured, but more importantly, he's rubbed off on Angel a little. Angel's actually cooperating without Aki around to force him to, and Angel actually seems to care about other people around him. That's because of Aki.

And this is a good thing. I'm still not very high on Aki right now, but at least he's finally reached a threshold where he feels like more than just a bystander. His personality is still "I don't want people to die" and "I want revenge on the bad guy", which is pretty flat, but at least he's having an impact on the plot now.

Back to Chainsaw Man, the reason this storm kicked up is because Typhoon's trying to defend himself (and Reze) from Denji. Earlier, Denji managed to cut off one of Reze's legs, and Typhoon spit some of his blood at her to help her recover, but now Typhoon's on his own while he waits for her to heal. The thing is, Typhoon's so big, and Beam is so agile in the air that Denji can hit him with ease.

So Typhoon goes down, and then Reze divekicks Beam to take him out of the fight, so we're back to Reze vs. Denji. Only this time, Denji's figured something out. When she blows up one of his arms...

... he shoots out chains from his stumps, and attacks her that way.

He tangles her up and wraps them both together, then falls off whatever they're standing on and they fall into the ocean. Apparently Reze can't detonate underwater, although I'm not sure how Denji would know that.

And then, Reze wakes up on the beach. Since Beam is there too, I guess he pulled them both up to the surface. Reze is surprised that Denji didn't kill her, but he explains that he would have regretted it, so he spared her.

He thinks there's still something between them, even though she keeps insisting that she was faking it the whole time. But if she was so determined to kill him, why didn't she finish him off at the school when she had the chance?

Denji still can't quite believe there was nothing between them, so she briefly feigns affection again, then breaks his neck to incapacitate him. Denji can recover from this, but he can't move until he does. Anyway, he tells Reze he'll see her at the cafe today at noon.

Except she doesn't show up. I'm not sure why he thought she would. I guess it's just wishful thinking? Someone does arrive, though...

And it's Power, returning to duty after her blood-draining procedure. She's back, and she tracked Denji down by his scent. When she sees the flowers, she tries to take them for herself. It's not clear that she plans to eat the flowers, but that's what Denji does, so I just assumed she had the same idea.

So what did happen to Reze? Well, she tries to flee to... somewhere? Maybe she's headed back to that cafe to try to take one more crack at Denji? All that matters is that a bunch of rats follow her into an alley and they form a big rat pile which becomes...

Makima? So she has rat power? Whatever.

I should explain this thing she says about the country mouse. You know the Aesop's Fable about the town and country mice, and each of them envies the other's lifestyle until they try to live there and find out it's not so great. In this arc, Reze brings it up to Denji, and Angel talks about it in a separate scene. It... kind of went over my head, but the characters seem to agree that being a Town Mouse is like being in the Public Safety scene, and being a Country Mouse is like living a more tranquil, normal life as a civilian. Denji is team Town because he likes the excitement, while Angel is Team Country because he hates working for Public Safety. Reze said she was Team Country, but I think that was just to convince Denji to run away with her so she could murder him.

Anyway, Makima apparently heard their conversation, as indicated by her line that she agrees with Reze about Country Mice. But Makima likes it because she has a friend on a farm, and every fall she goes down to help him exterminate all the mice in the field before winter sets in. This involves digging holes to get them out of their burrows so the dogs can chase them down. Makima finds this "calming".

The point I think she's making is that the country life isn't all that different from the work she does in Public Safety, sending her "dogs" to find and kill "mice" like Reze.

Reze tries to fight Makima, but she didn't count on Angel Devil throwing spears down at her from the roof. I guess Reze might be kept alive after this, but this whole scene reads like an execution. Reze took her shot and missed, and now Makima is eliminating her before she can try again. That's a shame, because I really enjoyed Reze's whole run here, and I'd be down for more of the same.

Anway, Makima originally ordered Angel and Aki to be here together, but Angel came alone, and Makima realizes that Angel didn't want Aki to be involved with killing a girl like this. Makima praises Angel's kindness, and yeah, some genuine character development here thanks to Aki. Nice stuff.

That last shot of the mouse kind of bugs me, because I think the town mouse/country mouse was meant to be deeper than I'm able to understand. The thing is, the fable was never about which side you'd prefer. The point of the story is that you tend to take your own circumstances for granted, and assume that some other guy with a different way of life has it better. And then you step into that way of life and realize it's not all it's cracked up to be. You're going to have problems no matter where you go, because in the end you're still a mouse.

Although, the mice and rats in this story have it pretty good when you think about it. The devils in this story are only after humans and human blood. Sure, Power ate a bear, and she's probably not the only one to go after animals, but who'd waste time picking on mice? How much blood can they have? No, the mice will go on no matter how this plays out. Makima can exterminate them in her friend's farm, but they come back every year, and the mice in Tokyo aren't going away anytime soon. They'll be around long after the devils and hunters are all dead.

[ofbreathandflame-archive]

“feyre is making the sister that she deemed was so mentally ill that she could not support herself then complete the tasks of a high lady? like how are justifying that? you can't say "this person has a debilitating addiction, therefore, she needs to be locked into a home, escorted, and policed" and then argue that this is the same person who should complete tasks that should be the high lady's job.”

THIS PART 👏🏼

hi anon!!!

right - either way the intervention fails. you could make the argument that it functions as a parallel to a mental health facility or rehab-- but then, that doesn't justify the the inner circle's constant dependence on nesta when it comes to court duties, or their inability to pay for said duties. it also doesn't justify the use of magic against nesta, the demolishing of nesta's building, and the decision to lock nesta into a home with the man she has consistently said she wants nothing to do with.

we could argue that nesta deserves it, and the the inner circle has every right to "punish" nesta as they see fit -- but then we are acknowledging that the intervention fuctions as revenge, and that completely undermines any moral justification. because then we are admitting that interventions only productive value is shame, humiliation and control.

we could argue that feyre's "good interntions" trumps the abusive nature of the intervention -- but then we would just be validating tamlin's abuse or just abuse in general. it also doesn't justify the abuse feyre just passively allows to happen in her face (i.e. rhys threatening nesta, rhysand using magic to scare nesta into submission).

the intervention, the house of wind, the court stuff -- none it can really be adequately justified. not even by the standards established in the story.

its just abusive - and feyre, rhys and the entirety of the inner circle are the abusers in this scenario. simple as that. its like - its always 'high lady feyre this' but when she has to actually be held responsible for her strategy and tactics then she's "just a 19 year old girl." if we're arguing she's logical enough to run an entire court, then we should be regarding as an actual nuanced character. we cannot empower feyre when its cute and then reduce her down to uwuuu victim when she is wrong. very weird behavior is you ask me.

feyre didn't have to vote; she could told nesta straight up about her swords - she IS THE HIGH LADY, HER WORD IS LAW. that is the difference between feyre's decision to withold that information from nesta, and nesta's decision to withold the pregnancy from feyre. feyre is the one who orchestrated the lock up of her sister - she is the one who forced the training. she is the authoritative voice. she does not suggest the imprisonment or the training - she mandates it as high lady of the night court. she is the one saying her sister is too ill to function in the world.

[alienthoughts]

So I realised I actually don't have many posts going into detail on the culture of my species, and I'd like to make some. I'm going to start out with some quirks of our language!

[Note: when I say translate I mean via the use of a universal translator-- ie: moment to moment spoken words rather than transcripts of text or anything like that]

One aspect of it that contributes a lot of the interesting factors is that it is focused heavily around a respect/lack of respect dichotomy. Even the most common and simple of phrases have a respectful and casual/disrespectful version. This can cause it to translate very poorly. Let's say for example someone is asking for something. Respectfully, that could equate to a phrase like "may i please have this?" Casually, it could equate to just "can i have this?" But disrespectfully, it could translate as more of a demand such as "I'm taking this" however this is not entirely accurate. While it gets across the basic idea, that you're requesting something but not entirely respecting the person you're asking nor their answer, it is not directly a demand. The only way really to translate it would require adding context such as stating its sarcastic. Because of this, it would be highly likely that it would actually translate as similar or the same as the casual version instead of the demand. Although there is a lot of nuance you must be careful of, tone is not part of the equation. You can pretty much apply any tone of voice to what you're saying, what matters is your exact words

This is in large part due to our history that lead us to be dealing with diplomacy very often. And to be very honest, its because this allows for a lot of very underhanded tactics in debates and other scenarios. Since translation may put more emphasis on tone than is actually correct for understanding the context of our words, it often means something that sounds completely innocent when translated because it is also spoke in a calm tone could actually be far more malicious

This also comes into play with how you reference another person or thing. There are multiple sets of pronouns, but they are not gendered. Our entire language is completely androgynous. Individuals can still have a preference though! There is a set denoting respect or rank, one denoting a casual relationship, and one that can be used to denote intimate relationships, depending on preference.

For example, because of the position I held, I would always prefer the respectful set. And it would not be seen as unusual at all for me to make that preference clear. Similarly, someone who holds a position like my own may prefer to use the casual ones. Someone such as myself may choose to use the casual set within intimate relationships, while someone who uses the casual set in everyday life may choose to use a third set within those relationships. When referring to a stranger, you would generally use the casual set unless there was some clear indication such as a uniform that the respectful set may be preferred. You could think of them more like titles, it would be very odd to refer to a stranger as doctor or captain or anything like that without clear reasoning.

When interacting with species that apply pronouns on a gendered basis, it's very common for us to choose any available neutral option, Though many of us don't actually mind being referred to in a gendered way. We simply put no cultural emphasis on it

Another massive part of our language is vocalisations! Because who needs to talk when you can simply purr or chirp to denote that you're having a good time? Body language too plays a huge part. It may seem like 2 people are having a huge argument, but if you pay attention to their hands and tails, that could reveal they're actually just being playful. This is very useful for any species who do rely more on tone of voice than we do

Think that's all I have to say for now! Apologies if this is worded and written a bit confusingly. Ironically, I can struggle with language a lot and sometimes it becomes more apparent. But I still wanted to try and write about this

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Sorry pls ignore my last ask BPP. Your point about Seven being the 'Dynamite' equivalent in solo era is a good one and explains the treatment it got. After the BB article I also now understand why BH dropped LC. If BB believed the LC record was 'tainted' with Chinese cash and BH never had that 'Dynamite' promotion plan for it, everything that's happened makes sense. But it still leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. I can't wash it out. Are we now at the mercy of BB's whims? Also don't you find the support for Seven excessive? Is the elimination of direct to consumer sales enough to explain that kind of support to keep it number 1? I'm just trying to understand how the company is thinking about things without victimizing the members. They all seem to be still working with purpose so I feel they don't feel shortchanged, but from the outside looking inside it doesn't feel fair.

*

Ask 2:

Hi BPP,

Re: bb article

1. Do you think there will be additional changes coming, making sales even less relevant for bb charts?

2. I absolutely hate that it is again Jimin that takes the brunt of all this bulshit, I really do. He doesnt deserve this at all. But he is strong, he will be OK. That being said, its making me really upset IRL, so I will have to do some me time.

3. I would be interested to know your outlook on BB as a whole when it comes to BTS and their future in US market (if you have talked about this pls refer me to the post)

My opinion is, that while BB is paramount when it comes to big awards season, eventually BB and the awards themselves serve as a kind of promotion, to validate the artist to their (potential) fanbase, keep them invested etc. BTS guys do all of that on their own, with their music, personalities and lyrics. So going forward, if they dont chart as much, dont win as much... It will not matter in the long run. Their fan base is so solid that I trully believe they will have no problem selling multiple stadium stops 25 years from now. Easily.

There will be a significant fandom fall off, when all the people who are here for bragging rights lose their interest. And that is a good thing... But the people who will stay, who love the guys for who they are and for their art, those whose love does not depend on how many grammy noms or BB H100 they recieve... These people will stay and buy the tickets. And their numbers will still be enourmous. Enviable. More than the majority of the western industry plants can only dream of.

Rant over. Have a good weekend

*

Ask 3:

The latest Billboard discussion is disheartening, but the NYT article description of U.S. conservatives aping the tactics of Swifties and BTS fans to get their nefarious messaging across is even more so. Have we opened the gate for the Trumpsters of the world?

I was struck by this partvof the original question to you"

'... figure out a way to truly determine which songs are most popular (whatever that even means anymore)....'

So, how can we ever know what is truly popular? Are fervent fans willing to devote time and resources to get their fave to the top really the best arbiters? Even if they number in the millions, we are still looking at support that is far deeper than it is wide.

I mean, better than the suits deciding, I guess? Or is it just another group--this one outside of the target country--imposing their agenda on the population? One has the goal of making money; the other of winning a fan war.

So, how do we ascertain what is truly popular with the much-vaunted GP? Or doesn't it matter?

***

I've said many times on this blog that I'm not a writer, and that English isn't my first language, so I suppose it's unsurprising that despite my efforts putting my thoughts to paper/Tumblr, I'm still unable to fully communicate it in a way people understand right away, to eliminate/answer a lot of questions that I believe should be clear to infer from what I've written before. So rather than write a massive post like before where my key points could get lost, I'll pick out key questions from your asks and give fairly brief answers to each one. I'll work my way from the top, down.

Hi Anon(s),

Select answers below:

"Also don't you find the support for Seven excessive? Is the elimination of direct to consumer sales enough to explain that kind of support to keep it number 1?"

I think the results speak for itself. Dynamite and the PET got what is easily the biggest support any BTS release had gotten to date at the time - all of it tailored to mirror how American labels promoted their tracks, *and* the fandom had D2C sales buttressing it as the primary support mechanism. Like, please read that sentence again and think about what it means. Sales are the easiest and most transparent way for the fandom to influence charts, and so was always preferred for ARMY. Even if you weren't in the fandom then, understand it's impossible to overstate how much D2C sales mattered. With that now out of the question, everything we're seeing for Seven for me feels like a given, especially after the Billboard article.

"Do you think there will be additional changes coming, making sales even less relevant for bb charts?"

Yes. But not 'less relevant' in a sense, more like differentiated and treated as its own thing, perhaps in a separate chart.

"I would be interested to know your outlook on BB as a whole when it comes to BTS and their future in US market (if you have talked about this pls refer me to the post)"

This probably requires its own post but the long-short of it is: just like Ticketmaster, Billboard is only one arm of one of the largest private monopolies in the US entertainment market - PMC, and as such they serve as gatekeepers of sorts. Their interest in BTS (and k-pop by extension) lies primarily in how they can profit off the group/fandom, which so far BigHit and ARMY have created very limited avenues for. BigHit's strategy until now has been to expand BTS's reach without relying on the PMC apparatus, using it only for select releases that are explicitly tailored for it e.g. Seven and PET. While I don't think this strategy will change dramatically, every change from BB is to force more compliance with their apparatus. BTS will continue facing handicaps from PMC so long as BigHit continues limiting how PMC can profit from BTS for each release. (This sentence makes sense in my head but if it's not clear, please let me know.)

*

"Have we opened the gate for the Trumpsters of the world?"

Well, yeah. But ARMYs can't take all the credit. After all, ARMYs are only doing what the Bey Hive and Swifties have been doing for almost a decade with none of the scrutiny. BTS, more than any other group, actually has the absolute numbers in demand and grassroots support to justify it as they're comparable to the afore-mentioned artists, proven by their concert showings not just in the US but worldwide, as far back as 2018. People only started paying attention to ARMYs' movements because BTS didn't look like the sorts of people they expected to see at the top of the charts. Everybody took notice, including a political faction in the US that in recent years has moved more aggressively into the entertainment sphere to influence culture, such as Ben Shapiro's entertainment empire, movies like Sound of Freedom topping box office charts, and conservative country singers pushing Reagan-esque talking points to the top of music charts. So it's basically the result of timing and opportunity.

"So, how can we ever know what is truly popular? Are fervent fans willing to devote time and resources to get their fave to the top really the best arbiters? ... how do we ascertain what is truly popular with the much-vaunted GP?"

I've talked about this before I think. You can find my views on it in my Masterlist, and I've linked the post here.

*

People sent in more asks on BB but I've since lost interest in this topic and will post my responses when I feel like it, much later, using the same format I've used to answer the asks above. The truth is that while I understand why many people feel like everything that's happened so far with Seven and Jimin is unfair, I think a lot of the discourse is awfully reductive, actually does a disservice to Jimin and BTS, and that there's a much bigger picture here that's more consistent with how BTS has operated for the last 10 years.

This is probably not the best analogy, but one way I think of BTS is like a Swiss army knife, with each member being a separate tool. And that at different points, in various markets, BigHit and BTS are testing various approaches to expand their reach while aiming to maintain the market share they've gotten so far. The group has always had projects they release that have more artistic merit and cache, versus projects made by all appearances to be purely for commercial purposes to expand the reach of the group. For example, consider how BigHit promoted Butter/Permission to Dance, compared to the BE album, or how Seven was created and promoted relative to Indigo. To go back in even further in previous years, I remember how BTS appeared to center Jimin in Blood, Sweat & Tears era to build out his and their presence in Korea, and Taehyung in DNA era where his and BTS's presence in China ballooned in 2017.

While in the solo era some people feel like every accomplishment remains solely with individual members, I feel everything serves only one purpose: to further establish the group. Because by BTS's own words, they all have their individual ambitions, they've always had that and each member is aggressively competitive on that note, but they've each all said that their priority remains the group. Not everybody likes that, not everybody believes them when they say it, but the good thing with BTS is that they plan in multi-year stints and time always reveals what the facts of the matter are. We're only one year into Chapter 2, and while certain parts of the fandom are treating their solo debut albums as the be all and end all, I don't think there's anything to suggest this perspective lines up with the reality of how BTS has behaved for the last 10 years. I could be wrong, but either way we're just going to have to wait and see. In the meantime, I believe there's significant artistic merit in what the guys are putting out in Chapter 2, that I hope isn't lost in the noise. The fandom should do a better job of bringing the attention back to this, rather than a tunnel-vision on performance metrics that only tell half of the story.

[tavtiers]

I'm just gonna put a first in here, and if you replied I might put more asks if that's ok.

The leader of 10 players playing a modded SBURB (it still functions the same, only with more OP and separated stuff) is a Rogue of Heart, and a Prospitan. He is someone cheerful and inventive, although he wants safety for everyone and making sure they don't die. He likes inventing, wishing to fly as an aspiring pilot, and Bill Nye, but he is clumsy and prone to too much emotion.

I want to figure out what planet will he get, its quest and denizen, and how will he die in his quest bed (me thinks he's one of the last to die there)

The Rogue of Heart would quest on a planet similar to the Land of Cubes [Rogue] and Heart [Aspect]. An example would be the Land of Black Boxes and Elixirs. An explanation of planet naming conventions can be found here.

For this character, Black Boxes could be the black box flight recorders found in airplanes. Perhaps there are the wreckages of downed planes littering his planet, and the black boxes they contain must be deciphered. Elixirs could pertain to buildings shaped like beakers. The buildings are filled with various chemicals that must be combined to create potions that can influence emotion.

For a quest, the consorts of his planet should be negatively affected by his inverse classpect, the Knight of Mind. Perhaps the consorts were once embroiled in aerial warfare. Now that the battle is over, their civilization remains that of hardened warriors. They are beings of pure logic who obsess over perfecting battle tactics in preparation for the next conflict, with no time for love or play. As the Rogue of Heart, your character must decipher the black boxes to find where the chemical buildings are located. Then, he must sneak into the buildings to steal vials of the chemicals that can be used to mix emotion potions. Once he has created potions of happiness and love, he will need to distribute them amongst the consorts in order to bring passion back to their civilization and keep them from starting another war.

Two possible gods, or denizens, to reign over his planet would be Aphrodite (Goddess of Love) or Yaldabaoth (Trapper of Souls). Other Heart aspect denizens can be found here.

For your character, Euphrosyne (Goddess of Good Cheer) might be a good option.

When the Rogue of Heart completes his planet quests and dies on his quest bed, he would rise to ascension on the wings of ladybugs (symbols of love). A list of soul animals can be found here.

As for how he would die on his quest bed, that is dependent on the plot you develop. That being said, I don't have much I can suggest for you. Keep in mind who he is influenced by. Has a troll pushed him into dying on his quest bed? Has he followed all his quests to the letter and been guided there naturally? Or has he explored his planet aimlessly and stumbled across it? Think about if he is the type of character who would be comfortable taking his own life, without knowing the full consequences. Or does he have an enemy who will take it for him?

Hope this helps!

[paragonrobits]

so some unhappy news; apparently my living situation is abruptly WAY more uncertain than I thought.

A couple days ago, after spending thanksgiving at my dad's place, he apparently messaged my brother and told him that he and his wife (who have been married for quite a long time, since I was living on the street with my mom) are getting a divorce and they can't afford to pay for our apartment, which until this point had been mostly paid for by my monthly income plus a few hundred dollars from them. Evidentally they can't or won't make our rent payment for next month; at the moment its still unclear.

He's telling my brother to get a job, and my brother is trying to explain to him that he has been trying but even if he got one right now he wouldn't get a paycheck in time to make rent.

So, that's the broad strokes. Some more specific wrinkles are here.

Right before we left, we spent about a night with them and things were fine. No one was arguing and things were perfectly okay, so I have no idea why this suddenly came up. Indeed, the previous night my dad's wife was talking to my brother about how they could only afford to pay until May of next year, which was simply went the lease ended and I have NO IDEA what is going on. Did things abruptly change over the SINGLE NIGHT since then??

We're not sure if this is genuine or if they're just trying to do scare tactics to spook my brother into job hunting and take up a job that he really doesn't want to do or is mentally distressing for him. For what its worth I've seen posts on my dad's facebook about feeling alone so it probably IS genuine, to some degree, but he's not answering any comments and is being frustratingly vague.

My brother made a facebook post mentioning the situation (though not the divorce) in vague terms and asked for help from family to host us. My dad immediately asked him to take it down and just said 'we'll discuss it later' so I have no idea what's going on. I'm ASSUMING he'll make some kind of arrangement but in the short term i have no idea what's going on or what we will end up doing. Mostly I'm just getting extremely incensed about him not saying anything until the last minute, as its the 26th as I write this and rent is due on the 1st or 3rd of the month (probably the 1st).

I think my best chance in the short term is first trying to find a friend of my brother's or family willing to at least hold onto our stuff, since we recently got more of our stuff in here right before this went down and we need some place to store it all. Then we need to find family to host us for the interim and figure things out from there, and it would probably be a good idea to get onto Section 8 for the time being, though that will take time to process if they even accept me, let alone my brother as well.

Mostly worried about my cat. While I am greatly concerned for my computer, which was a gift from my brother's friend I cannot replace (both of our computers were made with high grade things that we certainly couldn't get for ourselves) but while we can't carry them around with us, it shouldn't be hard to find someone to hold onto them for us. I'm more concerned about my cat's well being, since I refuse to be separated from her or given the choice of surrendering her. I'm more concerned for her than anything else.

Mostly just. What the fuck. Everything seemed fine before we left; no one was arguing, everyone was getting along, my dad's step-kids are all there and dependent on him (my oldest step-brother's wife is due to have a baby some time this coming month) and I don't have any idea why they're planning on separating. Just. WHAT THE FUCK.

If this is an elaborate mind game I am going to be pissed, if you wanted to tell my brother that you can't afford to keep paying for this apartment that's fine, just SAY SO. If its not then they're making some incredibly awful life decisions impacting other people.

if I'm not being particularly chatty for a while this is the reason why, things are getting complicated!!

[colorcodedbeanies]

S1E3-"And the Bag's in the River"

The last 12 hours have been a fever dream so I feel I really understand what its like to be Domingo

TW: Racism, description of gore, Nazi mention, discussion of strangulation.

Credit to their props team or whoever that wet meat is the wettest and the meatiest.

The first time through this episode I assumed the Gretchen flashback was Walt attempting to disassociate from his actions via chemistry (in parallel to Jesse's "its just a bunch of meat!" last episode). With the context of the closing flashback though I think this entire episode is about Walt really confronting the spectre of his own mortality. This is something that influences his conversation with Krazy-8 and his confession to Skyler at the end of this episode

Notably this is probably the only time Walt thinks of Emilio as "human" even if by proxy. I find it interesting that the visual language is suggesting the gun as functionally a part of Emilio's body. When Walt thinks about calcium, he picks up a fragment of his jawbone. When he thinks about iron, he picks up the remains of the gun. Whether its the worldview of Walt or the show, the violence is so much a part of Emilio that it may as well be a part of his chemical composition

"Please don't say yo. You can't know how much I hate that." That theme of language policing is back. Sure, Skyler on a literal level is associating it with a specific bad interpersonal interaction she had. But its also a mom clamping down on how her son talks because she doesn't want him to sound like a criminal. Gonna be a bit of a theme with Junior in this episode.

This episode simultaneously establishes that everyone in the Schrader-White cluster has both used pot and is also a massive freak about it. To be clear, there might be a lens through which SOME of Marie's concern is merited. As I understand it pot is probably not good for a 17 year old. But there's a certain ritualization to the denial of using pot. Skyler used it, and yet asks Marie about it like she was the known pothead in the family. Marie sputters about MAYBE having sampled it, reflects almost nostalgically on its effects, and then immediately freaks out about Junior's proximity to it. Hank admits to indulging to deal with some unspecified childhood baggage, but still considers taking his nephew out to ogle addicts in order to scare him straight a justified tactic. Its perhaps best summed up in Marie and Hank's phonecall. "Autopsy of a pot overdose? C'mon." Deep down all of them know it doesn't have to be a big deal. But we return to that inherent suspicion and distrust. Everyone's a junkie except for me. I'm a sensible, reasonable adult who can be trusted with what substances I indulge in. After all, "I'm extremely clean". Everyone else though, might be subject to an unbecoming dependence.

We have two cases of "everyone else" humanizing themselves. The first is Domingo, who startles Walt with both his ability to reason and to connect. Krazy-8 shatters his image as benevolent by pointing out that keeping him chained up in a basement while they debate was to do with him is frankly a lot more cruel and unusual. He's also able to read Walt extremely easily, picking up his discomfort, teasing out his motivations, and even connecting with him on an interpersonal level.

The other example of this is poor Wendy. Everything about that scene is skin-crawling. Hank dehumanizes her in every way a person can be dehumanized, sexualizing her in a way that doesn't read even slightly as a joke and functionally treating her like an animal. He barks at her to come, to stay, to speak, and then has Junior ogle her teeth before battering her with questions. She's not a passive recipient of his abuse (though who could blame her if she was). While she's clearly used to a fair amount of rough treatment, she still reacts when something crosses a line ("hey I'm not doing him, he's a kid!") and even gets a little of her own back ("why, you got some?"). Wendy isn't doing anything remotely criminal that Hank can see. She's not soliciting, not holding drugs on her, not anything. She's just going about her day. However, for people in her class crime is no longer something you do, its what you are. Hank clearly feels entitled to harass her and threaten her even off the clock. But Wendy lets them know she can see them as much as they can see her, calling out both the inappropriateness of Junior's presence and Hank's fishing. Hank doesn't get the neat horror story about a fall from grace that he wants ("Tell my friend here how you got started. Probably used to be, what? Like a Girl Scout, or sang in the church choir?"). Instead he gets an interaction that not only exposes what a dickbag he is, but that will come back to bite him later.

After a looney tunes ass chase through the house we get the first connection of Walt with Nazis with Jesse's heil Hitler bitch. Primarily I bring it up only because its going to get freakishly poignant in a few seasons but I do think it's worth noting: Jesse's not a good arguer even when he's in the right. He's too inexperienced to understand what's actually wrong with Walt and it enables Walt to perpetually paint him as just an immature child throwing tantrums.

One last note about the Wendy scene before I dive into Domingo's last moments. Hank jumps in to "defend" Junior from the accusation of being disabled. The smile he gives him feels like its meant to be inclusive. Don't worry buddy I won't let this lesser than try to pull you out of the in-group. Have to wonder how much of Junior's childhood he spent with polite euphemisms about his condition.

The pro/con list functionally is its own analysis. The con side is all phrased in absolutes. "Murder is wrong", and more specifically, "YOU are not a murderer". This is factually inaccurate (by this point Walt has killed Emilio and attempted to kill Domingo), but it returns to that idea of criminal as a class rather than an action that I talked about. The Schrader-Whites aren't junkies, they're nice normal people who have once or twice indulged. Walt isn't a murderer, he's a man who's only ever done what he has to for his family! There's a resistance to seeing actions as a reflection of identity, because to do so is to admit the separation between Walt, Jesse, and Domingo is a matter of degrees, not some fundamental aspect of their character.

Domingo plays into this as well, reassuring Walt that he's not cut out for this. HE'S not a cold blooded murderer...he's just a good man, a family man caught way over his head. Its fitting his name means Sunday, because in essence he offers as Walt's confessional priest. He hears his sins, his fears, his secrets, and then offers him the path to redemption.

Walt's mistake here is underestimating how little reason Krazy-8 has to sincerely believe this of him. The plate that give Domingo his weapon is broken over Emilio's bloodstain. He's been held hostage, sick and in pain from the toxic gasses, stuck shitting in a bucket for days on end while Walt quibbles about his mortal soul. I don't want to posture Krazy-8 as some innocent. But the lie works because it feeds Walt's self-perception as the good normal man caught up in all this, and because Walt is very bad at imagining the inner worlds of the people he works with. Whether as a cashier at his father's furniture store or as the gunwielding drug lord or the captive in the basement, to Walt Domingo is a background element to be ignored and puzzled over, not a thinking person with intentions.

He majored in Business Administration at UNM. This surprises Walt, another challenge to his equivocating between education and moral character.

I like that its left a little ambiguous as to whether Domingo was still planning to stab Walter when he came down, or if he reached for it after noticing Walt's strange behavior. The man with lung cancer chokes his first hands on victim.

Final somewhat anti-climactic note: "Its a culture in decline...you people used to be conquistadores" NO HANK THEY DIDN'T.

Fascinating that I can do all this analysis and then it just spells itself out with "It looks like meth but its too damn white."