#he'd probably call TVA Loki “little one” just to piss him off.

[nostalgia-tblr]

power move: writing president loki/tva loki and referring to "the taller man" partway through the fic in a way that makes it impossible for the reader to guess which of these identical men is supposedly taller.

[mimisempai]

Dear Loki - Chapter 2/7

Summary:

Loki, bored while waiting for Mobius in his office, starts to explore the drawers of his lover’s desk and finds a bunch of letters addressed to him...

On AO3 Rating G

Dear Loki,

I guess I should have known better, you're a trickster first and foremost, so it was sure you would want to fool us. To fool me. Even if I had the slightest hope that... but no, I realized that it was still too early for you to know that you could trust me.

I wouldn't say it didn't hurt, but I understand.

Ravonna and the others didn't catch on and only saw you responding to your nature. But I know it was a way for you to regain control.

I am untying my tie now and I must say that you almost had me at the elevator.

Loki smiled at the memory of that moment.

"I mean, it is adorable that you think you could possibly manipulate me. I’m ten steps ahead of you. I’ve been playing a game of my own all along."

"What, charm your way in front of the Time-Keepers, hustle them, and seize control of the TVA? Am I getting warm? A double cross by history’s most reliable liar."

How irritated he had been to see that once again Mobius had read him like an open book. But what had probably pissed him off the most was to see that it didn't seem to affect Mobius. 

And above all what had destabilized him for a long time was that whatever he had done, the man had never stopped showing him respect, had never turned his back on him. 

Damn it! Mobius had gone so far as to plead his case with Ravonna.

"Okay. Why are you in there sticking your neck out for me?"

"I’ll give you two options, and you can believe whichever one you want."

"A, because I see a scared little boy, shivering in the cold.

And you kinda feel bad for that ice runt."

"Or B, I just wanna catch this guy, and I’ll tell you whatever I need to tell you."

Loki resumed his reading of the letter.

You asked me why I was sticking my neck out for you?

Well, I did answer you, but a little dishonestly I must admit. Because A and B were just part of a big answer that I wasn't ready to tell you yet.

I want to save you because I know you are able to make good and great things. But you are not ready to hear it yet. And your attempt to fool me is proof of that.

And your answer confirmed it to me.

Loki remembered that he had been stung by being called a scared little boy but also by being exposed in this way. He didn't want pity or compassion. And he had told Mobius so.

"I don’t need your sympathy."

"Good, ’cause I’m runnin’ out of it."

How angry he had been to find himself doing the work of lowly people. But perhaps it had been the first time in a long time that he didn't have to flail around, so he'd grown into it. 

Loki remembered with a kind of happiness those moments when he had begun to believe that things could be different.

He laughed as he read the next part of Mobius' letter.

I can't believe that in just a few moments you were able to turn everything upside down so much. Okay, okay let's be honest I believe it because it's you. But this time it's not you against the world, it's you and me for the right cause. At least I think so. 

I have a weird feeling about this.

But then again I avoid showing it since as you said yourself, I make even the end of the world sound boring. 

I guess someone like me must be perfectly boring indeed. 

Loki remembered with sharpness these words pronounced in Pompei.

"Oh, Mobius! You make even the end of the world sound boring."

In his enthusiasm, he had probably been hurtful. But he hoped that in time Mobius would know that Loki found him anything but annoying. In fact, Mobius was probably the person who surprised him most in the universe. 

Loki also knew that assuming that people knew certain things made you forget to tell them. Maybe he should reaffirm to Mobius in a clear way that he did not find him boring. Not at all.

I am taking this letter back as you are asleep in front of me on a pile of files. You look so peaceful that I don't want to wake you up. If it were up to me I wouldn't wake you up. But unfortunately time is short.

Loki also remembered this vividly, after all that he had been through, he had tasted a few minutes of rest. He had fallen asleep with the awareness of Mobius' presence, but without feeling threatened by it for a single second. In fact there was something about this man that made Loki instinctively trust him. He had told him that he knew almost everything about his life after all, and yet he still treated him with respect. Perhaps it was this that made Loki prompt to trust him.

That's great, I never thought you would be interested in my passion. I feel like I got carried away with telling you about jet skiing. Then you pointed out how much fun it would be to actually do it. But unfortunately I know the reality of my life and that it can only be a dream.

Even though they had since fulfilled Mobius' dream, Loki had not forgotten Mobius' expression at the mention of jet skiing for real. There had been a melancholy written all over his being and Loki wondered how much Mobius had deprived himself of for the sake of his mission within the TVA. 

He made a promise to himself to do his best to discover and realize all the dreams of his beloved.

Now that I'm resuming writing this letter you're gone. You preferred to follow this variant rather than wait for me.

But I thought that maybe...

I thought I had read something just before in the archives when you found the place where the variant was...

Loki remembered exactly which moment he was mentioning.

"You’re gonna take my job if I’m not careful."

Mobius had looked at him with such validation in his eyes. The kind of approval he had always craved. The kind he would have liked to read in the eyes of Odin, his mother, his brother, without the glimmer of disappointment that often followed.

Loki remembered very clearly the pride he had felt at that moment.

Then there had been Roxxcart.

Loki had been touched by the way Mobius did not want to be separated from him. He had been lucid enough to recognize in the midst of the indignation and anger, the desire to protect him.

But Loki had shattered everything soon after, or so he thought when it happened.

Probably one of the most difficult decisions Loki had to make.

As he had walked through the time door, he had been unable to stop himself from looking back at Mobius who was running and calling his name, but Loki had to know. He couldn't help it. And he had walked through.

You left.

You turned around and left.

Did you even feel regret when you saw me running towards you?

Was everything I felt in the last few hours just smoke and mirrors?

Did you respect and trust me?

I am 

How could you

You 

Why

No, I can't believe that it was all fake, that it was all tricks from the god of mischief. 

I'll keep believing, until I find you and you tell me the truth.

I will wait.

I will find you and I will know.

Still with hope.

Mobius.

Loki folded the letter and placed it carefully back in the drawer.

Even so, Mobius had given him the benefit of the doubt.

There was something humbling about being the object of such devotion.

He couldn't wait for Mobius to come back to show him all the love his heart was filled with after reading this letter.

He looked at the time that had passed.

Thirty minutes at most.

He grabbed the next letter.

Dear Loki... Other chapters here