#he’s trying to give carrie everything the boys needed: acceptance and peace and support

[emerald-might]

TRUE END- Bittersweet ending. Some things go right, other things go wrong. Some sacrifices have to be made, but most people are happy in the end. (nuravity) if you still accept

@nuravity

It was over. It was finally over. After so much blood was shed, so many sacrifices were made. With one blow, one fatal blow from the combined power of Deku and Bakugo, against the horrific pair of All for One and Shigaraki, it was over. They didn't do it alone, as the lost boy within Shigaraki, Tenko Shimura, was the crack in the otherwise invulnerable defense.

For a moment, as the final blow was made, Deku saw the young boy inside smiling. Their connection between All For One and One For All showing their hearts. It was time to end it, end everything. The sibling rivalry, the years of struggle. It was time for a clean slate.

Deku's vision was dark, only for him to wake up in a familiar sight. A hospital bed. To his right was Bakugo, hooked up to tubes and wires to support his damaged heart as it healed. To his left was Ochako, but across from her was Shoto, who had severe burns. Further down were All-Might and Endeavor. Everyone who was part of the attack against the villains was in other rooms, healing or helping rebuild.

The villains who were spared, who survived, they were being treated but under high security. Specifically Toga and Dabi.

As Deku laid there, being awake as everyone rested, he felt different. He stared at the ceiling and looked to his right hand. He couldn't hear their voices anymore, the previous weilders... He wasn't quirkless, but he now shared the position All-Might was in. He was on borrowed time until One For All was truly gone. It was time to restart, learn from the past, and stop the cycle. That was what Tenko wanted, no heroes or villains.

When Deku was good to finally be out of the hospital, he took time to think. He didn't know how much time he had, but he did know what he should do. He needed to plant the seeds of the future, not let the death of a lost child be in vain. It would take time, but it was time for society to move forward and not look for just one symbol of peace.

[Years later: Graduation]

"You're sure about this?" Aizawa asked as he looked at his students. "It will be a big responsibility for you all."

"We're experienced enough to make our own choices," Deku respectfully said.

"We can't thank you enough for what you have taught us, but it's time we carry the torch," Shoto said.

"To charge on ahead and forge the path for others to follow," said Ida.

"Can we get on with it?!" Bakugo shouted, not wanting to stick around anymore. They were just a few minutes from graduating.

"Alright... You are all the best students I ever had," Aizawa said, keeping it short and sweet. The curtain finally opened for the students to step on stage for the audience.

Each graduate was given their official pro hero certificate, along with medals to give their hero ranking. But, Deku refused the medal and kindly asked to speak to the audience. He was nervous, but he remained brave.

"We, as the students of Class 1-A, wanted to inform you that we won't be judged by rank or by status. That is why, effective immediately, we will be forming our own agency. We won't have one symbol of peace, as that is what caused villains to rise and heroes to fall. Our agency will strive to make the world a better place, as well as give everyone a chance to be a hero. Quirkless, civilian, even villains, are all people. And this agency will be called, United Peace."

For the years to follow, the new symbols of peace worked together to not only set good examples for others to follow but to give others a chance. Shoto personally watched over his older brother to try and reforge the shattered bond amongst their family.

Ochako would personally see Toga's rehabilitation. Ida would carry on the Ingenium name. People like Souji and Tsuyu are respentatives for the animal quirk users and their rights. Others like Kirishima, Mina, and Minetta, amongst others, got to not just be the heroes they wanted but the heroes they deserved to be. Their own kind.

As for Deku or Izuku Midoriya. He lived doing what he loved, being a hero. Until the very end.

[Further in the future: Year 2042]

Izuku, a grown man, looked to a statue of himself in his prime. Quirk and all.

"Deku," Ochako called out, walking up to him in civilian clothes.

"You don't have to call me that anymore. I'm retired, remember?"

"Force of habit," Ochako chuckled before taking his hand. "Besides. You're still a hero, quirk, or no quirk."

Izuku gave a smile, thankful for the reminder. "Yeah."

The two left the statue, with Izuku giving one last glance at the writing. The message he wanted to leave. The same words spoke to him that started his journey.

You Too Can Become A Hero.

[queenmolina]

bobby was in the system 

i’m going into detail about how i imagine it just because that’s what anon asked me to do - if you think this might be upsetting then i advise you to stop reading here <3

i’m going to preempt this with some disclaimers

- i’m british so my pov of the system will be wrong, i’m not even going to try and translate it

- i’m not picking out sad/tragic things to be deliberately upsetting for the sake of an angsty backstory, this is just genuinely how i choose to imagine it happening 

- this is a compilation of my friend and i semi-projecting onto our shared comfort character. im more than happy to share this because i really like this take for bobby, but please be sensitive in any comments you might make in (more for other people’s sake - im comfortable to discuss any of the content)

bobby doesn’t remember his parents. he lived with them for a time and from what people have told him, they were a really happy family. his mom was a therapist and his dad was an author. there are photos of the two of them smiling happily at the camera - some even had a small, baby-faced bobby bouncing on their knee, though they called him robin. it’s on all of his certificates, all of the documents. his name is robin. it doesn’t feel right

when he’s three, bobby’s parents pass. he thinks it must have been some kind of accident - to take them both in one go - but he doesn’t get offered any explanation. he’s almost immediately fostered into a family but there’s so many kids there that it’s basically a foster home. he’s one of the youngest and is immediately babied by all of the older kids which is where he starts to be selective about physical affection/contact with other people

he stays there until he’s six. all of the kids there get moved about when their ‘parents’ (it’s what the kids were told to call them but it never really applied) decided they actually weren’t cut out to look after a dozen children and threw in the towel

six year olds are a bit middle of the range in terms of how quickly people foster/adopt them but bobby’s gained a bit of a reputation for being ‘tricky to manage’ because he’s so fussy - he’s not fussy, he just wants people to stop mollycoddling him and give him some peace and quiet. he stays in a foster home for a year until eventually a couple take him in. but it doesn’t last long - they say bobby acts out and all of a sudden he’s back on the front step with his shopping bag of possessions and they’re passing ‘robin’ back as though he’s a library book and not a child

from the ages of eight to twelve, he gets passed back and forth from one place to the next. some are better than others, obviously. there’s the malone’s where the only other kid is their 17 year old biological daughter who thankfully doesnt much care for ambushing bobby like some of the others had. there’s the harper’s where bobby’s surprised they even passed the social worker visit because the house is a tip - but the carers are nice and he has his own room. there’s the vegaro’s who he even allows himself to hug when he had to leave. the rest of them aren’t even worth remembering. they never lasts, even the nice ones always go wrong. he’s back in the foster home every time he begins to get settled

when he’s twelve, the rate at which he gets fostered slows again. he sidles along with the older kids who seem to have given up hope and spend their days causing trouble or sneaking out of the home just because they can. bobby doesn’t go with them for a few months - until he realises that it’s fine. no one will care if he disappears for a few hours. will they even care if he doesn’t come back at all?

on his thirteenth birthday, one of the carers helps him gather his stuff from his bunk and shove it all into a bag. he’s fed up of trying to find a real home so when a woman shows up to take him, he doesn’t even try for a smile

it’s his aunt. his biological family. she has the same soft features as his mother in the photos and the same dark, pin-straight hair. somehow it manages to hurt more when she wrinkles her nose at his attempts of a conversation

her husband is nice. jerry, his name is. a portly man with a receding hairline and a frequent habit for offering bobby a sip of his beer. he’s not related to bobby by blood but it’s nice to feel like someone’s on his side

his aunt hates him. she doesn’t say it out loud - not when bobby’s in the room - but he sees how she looks at him. he hears her arguing with jerry about him sometimes and saying nasty things about his mother too. she and jerry seem to fall out a lot

she leaves one day. and doesn’t come back.

for once, bobby doesn’t get sent back to the foster home. if anything, he feels more welcomed once his aunt had gone. he and jerry feel like family - a little strained but bobby thinks that must be how all families feel. they watch tv together and even share hobbies. jerry even bought him a guitar, something brand new and for bobby and not second hand. bobby was worried he would have to give it back when the time came for him to return to the home but that wasn’t something to worry about right now. he meets jerry’s friends and family and for once, bobby feel like he has a family of his own

this is also the longest he’s ever stayed at one school. he thinks he might be making friends (he can call them friends this time, they’re not allies. they’re friends)

when he’s fifteen, jerry passes. he hadn’t been very well, it had been getting worse. bobby had seen that it was coming and had half-packed a bag before it had even happened

his new friends from school come to the funeral and sit with him on the front row of pews. alex - who was a foot taller than the rest of them - cowers a little from all of the attention. luke pulls at his sleeves and collar, clearly uncomfortable in the fancy get up, but he offers a sad smile whenever bobby catches his eye. reggie isn’t sure what to make of the whole thing but he can see that bobby’s upset and their shoulders knock together whenever reggie wants to remind him he’s not alone. at one point, bobby even takes reggies hand in his. he would be embarrassed or uncomfortable at the contact except he’s lost his family and he’s probably going to lose his friends too

instead of going back to the group home, he’s asked to move in with jerry’s mother, althea

she has a pretty big house and a garage which she converts into a space for bobby to hang out. he’s still unused to having his own room so to have two feels a little overwhelming. he invites his friends over to fill the space and when luke asks to start a band, bobby allows him to convert the garage into a makeshift studio. althea doesn’t mind, in fact she encourages it.

bobby isn’t the best at putting his thoughts into words but he can put them into action so when the boys start having trouble at home, he makes one thing very clear: the studio is their home. the studio belongs to all of them and if they ever need a place to stay, they should stay here. this is their home, where they’re loved and looked after. bobby tells them this in fewer words but he hopes they understand

(he’s not sure why the boys are so upset about their home lives - bobby would do anything to be with his parents. that is until he sees alex stifling hot tears or luke choking up over his test results or reggie knocking on his bedroom window at two am, desperate to escape the noise. then he gets it)

luke moves in and bobby starts carting his dinners to the studio to eat. althea pretends not to notice that there’s another boys clothes in her laundry loads and just starts doubling bobby’s food portion to make sure they both get enough

then it goes wrong. and bobby loses another family.

althea teaches him things to keep him distracted. she shows him how to knit, teaches him more tagalog, more recipes. it does nothing to make him feel better but he could never tell her that. he’s grateful for every moment she spends with him. she didn’t owe him anything and yet she took him in. the least he could do is try to smile and forget about his boys for a moment. for her. 

she’s the one that encourages him to keep creating music, to make them a legacy they can be remembered by. it doesn’t work out that way in the end and she’s the only person that understands how the guilt weighs him down quite so much

years later, when he’s told that he’s going to be a father, his first thought is to run. he can barely cope with being responsible for himself, let alone another person. but it wasn’t his choice, she was going to have the baby. he was going to be a father

carrie is three when her mother leaves. it feels like another cruel twist of fate, like a knife in his gut. he always wondered when it would be his turn to go. he’s 29 and maybe he should’ve gone 26 years ago with his parents, or 14 years ago with jerry, or 12 years ago with his boys. but he would not let carrie have his struggles. so he cries to althea alone and puts on a brave face for his daughter

[marybeatriceofmodena]

You know, I’ve been thinking today about how Alina doesn’t even really work as a Reluctant Hero, compared her to Frodo to see the key differences (since Frodo is pretty much the Poster Child for the Reluctant Hero), and then I realized... 

You know, I think L/eigh B/ardugo wrote TGT as a very black-and-white fairytale, where Alina is the princess, Mal’s the knight in the shining armor, and the Darkling is basically the dragon, except it doesn’t really work because the worldbuilding requires an approach that’s... a lot more grey? 

The thing is, though, I realized... Alina and Mal are basically meant to be Frodo and Sam. Except that, again... it doesn’t really work. 

Frodo works as a Reluctant Hero, because he makes it clear multiple times that he doesn’t want to carry the Ring. He asks Gandalf to do it for him, he asks Galadriel, he asks Aragorn, and they all refuse, because they are (or are called to be) in a position of power, and while them being in a position of power is presented as good, the One Ring essentially represents the fast, easy way to get to it, which will ultimately corrupt them rather than have them fight their way towards their goal. 

Frodo, meanwhile, is the right person to carry the Ring, because he comes from a humble place and he doesn’t really have any aspirations to become powerful. And while he’s clearly burdened by having to carry the One Ring, and that he makes it clear that he wishes the Ring had never come to him, he still goes on anyway, despite all the hardships he faces, because his ultimate goal is to save the Shire and his friends, and that desire is stronger than any fear or greed he may have. 

Now, J.R.R. Tolkien himself said that he didn’t really see Frodo as THE Hero, and that Sam is the real Hero of the story to him. Which makes sense, given how Sam was based off young men from rural England he met while fighting in World War I. But also, the story makes it very clear that without Sam, who’s arguably the most pure-hearted person in all of Middle-Earth, Frodo would have definitely failed in his task. The reason why he resists the temptation to carry the One Ring is LITERALLY because him protecting and helping Frodo is more important to him. Sam doesn’t give two shits about power. Helping Frodo save the Shire and coming back to everything he’s ever loved is more important to him. 

Both Alina and Frodo are pure-hearted orphans who are given tremendous power: Alina is the Sun Summoner, and Frodo carries the One Ring. In both cases, power is represented as a corruptive force, that makes people go mad with greed. It works in the context of The Lord of the Rings, given how the rings were given to leaders of Elves, Dwarves and Men, and that Sauron created the One Ring to rule over and control all of them. The Grisha, on the other hand, unlike the Ring-bearers, are not in a position of power, given they are essentially victims of Fantastic Racism in pretty much every country. While Ravka treats them slightly better than in Fjerda or Shu Han, it’s still not ideal and it’s something that could be taken away from them at any moment. It would be an entirely different matter if the Grisha were the ones rulling over Ravka and viewing otkazat’sya as lesser, and in that context, Alina being the Sun Summoner would be a very obvious road to her becoming corrupted. 

Frodo refusing to carry the One Ring and asking other people to take that burden from him comes from a place of genuine fear of what the Ring might do to him. In his place, we’d probably all do the same thing. That’s what makes his acceptance of his task all the more admirable. Alina, on the other hand, refuses to be the Sun Summoner and to help her fellow Grisha because that stands in the way of her ending up with Mal. She never gives any sign that she’s truly empathizing with the Grisha’s plight, she tries to run away not once, but twice, and most importantly, she never sees herself as one of them. They are othered, but it matters little to her, because she doesn’t want to be othered herself, because that stands in the way of her running off with a boy. It’s basically the equivalent of Frodo being overcome by fear after seeing the fate of the Shire in Galadriel’s mirror, and just demanding to be sent to the Grey Havens straight away to save his own ass from it all and just leaving the One Ring to whoever wants to deal with it. At that point, it’s not being a Reluctant Hero: it’s being a coward at best, a selfish bastard at worst. 

(And that’s why I don’t really buy her when she tells Aleksander that they could have had it all if he had told her all the truth from the start, because... again, she didn’t seem to care about the Grisha that much and Aleks telling her everything would have actually been a sure way of having her run as fast as possible the other way. I know the story is trying to tell me otherwise and that the plot point I’m supposed to see here is that Alina was willing to do something until she felt betrayed by Aleks, which is... not what was shown here, and it’s especially annoying considering how Alina is a deserter in every sense of the word, and that any army would have court-martialed her for running away.) 

So if Alina is meant to be a pure, selfless heroine, who loses her powers because she also refuses to be greedy... that just falls completely flat, because if anything, she’s as selfish as Frodo is selfless, because all of this really just boils down to her wanting to run off with Mal. 

Now, onto Sam and Mal. Both of them are basically Everymen who are there to help the Hero and keep their feet on the ground. As mentioned earlier, Sam is the one who helps Frodo finish his mission to Mordor, and the story makes it clear Frodo would have failed without him. TGT meanwhile presents Mal as Alina’s “True North”... which could work on paper as Alina’s reminder to temper Aleksander’s efforts and to remind him that in order for Grisha to be viewed as people, it is important for them to also remember that balance and peace between Grisha and otkazat’sya will be essential, so resentment and hatred can be healed between both groups. 

The key difference here is that Sam is completely supportive of Frodo at all times. Even when Frodo sends him away in the film, Sam goes back after him the minute he realizes he’s been tricked by Gollum. He never shames Frodo whenever he falls prey to temptation, he simply reminds him of who he is and what he must fight for, and even when he’s climbing Mount Doom, he still carries Frodo on his back despite being probably completely exhausted, because Frodo’s more exhausted than he is. He completely accepts Frodo as both his friend, the Hobbit from the Shire, and the Ring-bearer he needs to help, even if he might die in the process. 

Mal (in the books, that is) makes it very clear that he does not accept Alina as both the girl he knew and the Sun Summoner. He only wants the girl, and whenever Alina makes steps towards being the Sun Summoner, he basically sulks and yells at her for not paying attention to him. Despite Alina becoming othered in the eyes of the world, he refuses to see her as othered, mostly because it is inconvenient to him rather than because he loves her for who she is. That’s why in the end, people feel like Alina lost her powers in order to be with Mal, because Mal would never accept her in her entirety. Sam, on the other hand, accepts Frodo as both Ring-bearer and Hobbit, because if he didn’t, Frodo would have failed. 

And while they made Mal in the show a lot nicer than his book counterpart, he still doesn’t work as Alina’s “True North”, because he cossets her in her selfishness. He may say he doesn’t care about how Alina is a Grisha in this one, but he also doesn’t consider the implications of it all - which is especially glaring given he’s a soldier himself. Like, look, if you’re going to slap in a racism plotline to make Mal/ina work, you’d think that being half-Shu would give Mal a little awareness that people are going to treat Alina badly for being half-Shu AND a Grisha, and given Alina is the MOTHERFUCKING SUN SUMMONER AND A SAINT, maybe, just maybe he’d tell her: “Heh, it’s kinda lame we’ll just run off and let everyone else in the dust, you know, especially since we could make our lives as well as everyone else’s better?” Seriously, if you’re going to make Mal Alina’s “True North”, have him face her duties and her calling whether she likes it or not, don’t coddle her when she wants to run the other way because she wants to hide under a rock for the rest of her life. 

With all that being said, that leaves us with the Darkling, who... I mean, given his whole schtick is that power corrupts and makes you evil and crazy, I guess that makes him Gollum, but sexy. 

Gollum, but sexy. 

That single expression has been haunting me ever since I started writing the above novel and I fucking hate it. You’re welcome. No one wanted Sexy Gollum. Absolutely no one. Fuck this shyte. See, this is why I want Darkling Redemption. I do not want to live in a world where Gollum is sexy. I need brain bleach. 

Even here it doesn’t even fucking work because Gollum hid in a cave with the Ring with a strategically placed cloth because no one wants to see his crusty ass family jewels anyway, while Aleks worked his ass off to give the Grisha a safe place to live and to at the very least ensure they’re useful enough to not be killed like animals. Like, if you’re going to give the world something that’s gonna definitely not make me sleep tonight like Sexy Gollum, at least do it right. 

[starshipsofstarlord]

Jim and Jody - Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary; it was one of the biggest decisions of your life, but will you change your mind before your future is sealed?

Warnings; angst, mentions of abortion (everyone is permitted to do what they want with their body, in this imagine the reader wants to keep the baby, but pro choice, as everyone deserves control over their bodies and all 🤍), brief mention of sex and threats

Masterlist Link

To see him so relaxed, so completely and utterly himself was a paradise all on its own. There was a heaviness aboard your shoulders, but as you watched him goof tirelessly about, you had no other concerns, not even as you subconsciously raised your hand over your stomach. You shook your head at the sentiment, the two of you had already made the decision to abort this child, it was unknown how the poor fellow would turn out to be; with the combination of your powers and his super everything, it was sure to be quite the complication, and not one that you supposed was to be an easy course.

A smile pried at your face, simply from viewing him with the pack of children, the wind from the docks swept your hair into your face, and in turn, you swept the locks out and away from your vision, so that you had further access to watch the man that you loved in his absolute element. Through the years, past and recent, he had lost so much, and this child was just to be another mantle on the wall of memorial in his mind, it was sad really. If the two of you were normal, with average and lives that had perceptions with no regards of being heroic, there’d be no query about it, you’d keep the baby.

That life though, to your grave misfortune, did not exist, it was merely a fantasy living painfully inside of your mind, haunting you whenever you closed your eyes, with the flashing images of a resolution and end to the errors in your lifestyle. There’d be a big house, yet nothing to prissy, just enough room for the pair of you and few children of your own, a grand garden with a swing set and sand pit, where the infants could grow up and play in once they were older. Then there’d also be a shed for Bucky to work on small projects, such as attaining some love and care to his motor bike, as well as storing the supplies that he’d need to do so.

All that is a universe away, muffled from possibility by the stars expediting through the gorgeous veil of the galaxy, corrupting the possibilities of ever gaining access to such... peace. That was the one thing that the pair of you wanted, however catching a break was rather rare within your predicament. A stifled laugh reeled from the conjunction of your lips as you simply and endearingly surveyed how the boys, specifically Sam’s nephews hung from the vibranium branch of his arm. It was all your attention was focused on, until an extra person took a seat on the picnic table beside you, his sweet yet musky scent detailing whom it was. ��If your not going to eat that, I’m sure Barnes Junior might want an opinion on that.”

The underlining of the words caused an abstract grimace to forlorn your features, as you stared not at the speaker of whom you were close with, but instead the slather of cake that was planted on a paper plate before you, the icing beginning to become slightly sick from the beating of the viable son. “You’re glowing, you know? Motherhood is a good look on you y/n/n, I wouldn’t be so soon to let that go.” Your fingers pried at the dismantled crumbs off your section of desert as you looked to your new captain, a resonating conformation fo bridled suffering and hopelessness clouding your view of his attempt at making you atone before you made a sin that you’d forever regret.

He, like many others, knew that the family life was what you wanted; you wanted to be your child’s hero, tending to their each necessary (and unnecessary) need, them being your main focus and project and life. Instead, you had been handed your options on a short stick, and thus, your decision, albeit somewhat of a sensible one, didn’t make it hurt any less. “Sam.” You spoke his name, observing from the corner of your eye how Bucky paraded around the dock with Jim and Jody. It’d be nice to give him a slice of this kinda life, he was thriving as an adult around children, you could only imagine him in the case of this one being birthed into the world. “It’s not that easy.”

“No one said it was going to be easy.” Sam responded quickly, affirming your fears to your nerve wrecked face. “I get it, I do. People will be after this kid, and that is no way to live, but you two aren’t alone in any of this, nor will you be in that. You have me, along with many other old friends of ours, hell even the Wakandan’s. Do you really want to sacrifice this one life so you can continue living this one? You and Bucky have both lost so much, you don’t have to force yourself to willingly give away something else. The decision can be changed the last minute, it’s a lot to take in, I get that, but I see the way Buck is with my nephews, and how you watch them when you think nobody’s looking over at you. With your state pardon, you two can retire, and go far away, and abandon everything for this one little guy or gal, because I know that if you do, no matter what, they’ll be worth it.”

Bucky wailed a warrior’s shout as Jim and Jody playfully struck him down, his unsheathed metal hand grasping at the cloth that was tightly aboard his addictive chest. He rolled on the ground as the children ran to retrieve their toy lightsabers, leaving him to be expendable against their weapons. There was a giddy and fitting smile smouldering his usual stoic expression. It was no wander why he found calm in visiting Sam and his sister’s small, and accepting family. The kids brought out another side of him, which he had been tortured to refrain from showing, but you had seen, and were contemplating many things within your mind. You were lapping up the image, as though you were dehydrated and the sight of him appeased by the company of young ones was a source of water.

Sam was right, he always was and had been. “The decision was on both of our parts, you don’t think Buck’ll change his mind, or do you?” You were invested in getting a responsive answer, yet the man spluttered a laugh at your confused expense. He heaved for a moment, bracing his hands on his knees as he caught his breath. There was nothing stopping him from gaining it back, unlike Bucky whom had grabbed a saber of his own and lightly began to paddle against the one that was directed against him, other than another round of hysterics that abandoned him. A reasonable smile resonated a comfortable position upon the former falcon’s face, as he tentatively patted your knee, watching as you broke off a small rupture of cake and popped it in your mouth, feeding not only yourself but the inmate within your womb.

“There isn’t really much for me to say, it’s easy, look at him. He will be fine with whatever decision that the pair of you succumb to, after all, it’s your body, but it will pain him like nothing else ever has if you go through with the abortion, and if not, then trust me, we’ve both seen how hard he fights; think of that but ten times the mass in consideration of this baby, because I am certain that he’d do anything for them. He lost his entire family when he awoke from his mode of hydra assassin, this could be him getting it back. Different members, but a family all the same.” He stole a little of your cake, making you lightly elbow him as a smirk rendered a beauty upon his face.

“What’s that going to make you, the patriotic uncle who just can’t keep himself from flashing his shield?” Now it was his turn to retaliate, he lightly scuffed your ankle with a feather light tap of the toe of his shoe, causing you to promiscuously roll your eyes. “I’m joking, that was Steve’s aesthetic, this new version of cap is your baby, I have great faith in you to make this world a better and safer place. The funny thing is, when you finally accepted that shield was yours, that’s when my mind shifted to the possibility of keeping this kid. It was and has always been a sign of hope and protection to Bucky, maybe it could be the same for our little one. It was just a thought, I’m not meaning to put pressure on your or anything bu-“

“I get it, and I’m honoured. And if that is how it seems, then I want you to know that I’ll be there to protect them too. The main bump in the road for now is for you to talk to that grumpy ass boyfriend of yours and figure this sperm plus egg equation out, send Jim and Jody over here, I got somethin’ to show those two anyway.” With a nod and a grateful pat upon your friend’s head, you slowly plodded over to where Bucky was being cornered against the side of the truck by the boys. His blue orbs danced around their small and imaginative beings, until they landed on you, it was as though his pupils were calling out for help, begging for you to spare some mercy upon him.

“Jim, Jody, your uncle Sammy has something for you two to see.” They groaned lightly, having been pulled away from the narrative of their play time, but nevertheless their faces were clean slates as they expressed hyper smiles, and bolted their route towards their mother’s sibling, carrying their lightsaber replicas along with them. “Two kids beat an infamous, deadly badass with a metal arm. I think you might be getting too old for these kinda battles Buck, you were losing, and quite terribly if I say so myself.” Crossing your arms, as he came to an upright stand, hoisting himself off the ground, so that he could be more level with you.

“Yeah, yeah, rub it in. Thought you were supposed to be supportive of me and all that, as you said to Zemo, you’d quite happily cut his dick off if he compared me to the shadow that I used to be.” His brow raised, as he reminisced on the thought of you threatening Zemo; it was hot, and certainly had gotten him going, which had shortly left you in this predicament, trying to save the world and execute the one last thing that exhumed hope to either one of you. The baby. It was almost a certain and solid fact that the little one inside of you had been procreated on the Baron’s private jet, more specifically, the small and clean bathroom that had became dirty with your primal sins.

“And I still regret not doing that, he’d have had much less leverage in any sense of the word of phallic if he had it sectioned off.” Silence emitted between the two of you, although a humoured smirk tantalised upon Bucky’s graceful face. For a change, he was not prompting the expression of a grumpy cat that was refused its nip, no, instead he could be compared to a future - actually, he already was a father to the bean held in the shield of your body, having been an ample ingredient in bringing the small person into being. “So, you having fun with Sarah’s kids, sure looks like you were quite in your element before I cut in.”

“I’m always in my element when you’re around doll.” He smiled, wrapping his uncoordinated hands around the oval of your waist, and tugging you sentimentally closer, your hips bumped with his, as your eyes ogled infatuatedly up at him. “They’re great kids, makes me realise exactly what we’re gonna be missing out on.” Bucky gulped, sparks of emotion taunted the behind of his eyes, like saucers of resentful fire. “You’d be the perfect mother, you know that right? After all you’ve done for me, you’ve nurtured me close to the man that I once was, the only difference is that I want to settle, but I don’t know how to go about dropping everything. This kid is killing me, he’s making me question everything.”

“That’s what kids are supposed to do, unborn, or very much avidly attacking grown men with false lightsabers.” Bucky deeply into your frustrated and corresponding eyes, your hands reaching up to play defiantly with the smooth dip in his chin that could be seen through the shading of his light stubble. “What if we did have a Jim and Jody of our own some day? We could keep him or her, they’d be our greatest concern, we don’t have to go down this painful and longing, rusted road. We could bring something good into this world, protect them against all forces that threaten to disrupt their life, I want this with you Bucky. We could move far far away, or go somewhere close to home.”

“Brooklyn.” He stated, causing a line to crease gently in the plain of his forehead. “I want to call them Brooklyn, if I am to fight the rest of my life for something, I want it to be my home. Last time I had to leave there, but it’s my amends to never leave this child of ours, if we’re going to do this, we need to put them in front of everything, and I mean everything.” He spoke, in reference to the other avengers and other aliases that you had stood by for so long. Bleakly you nodded, grasping his jaw down for an amorous kiss, humming against the palette of his lips, as your hands entwined behind his neck, pulling his face closer to your own, prompting his tongue to travel deeper within the realm of your mouth.

“Brooklyn is a nice name. How about Brooklyn Margaret Barnes? I think that has quite the ring to it.” You offered, and he hardly reacted, instead quickly appraising a pleasant smile onto the canvas of his work of art face, as he ducked his head down, conjoining the pair of you into a passionate and meaningful collide of your lips. Sam smiled as he watched the pair of you, pointing at you two from afar, as his nephews from afar. He was giving them a man to men talk, offering them advice that they would have valuable usage of in the future.

“Now that is love. You don’t give up for the one thing that connects you, and those two, well Bucky and y/n have been through a hell of a lot. They deserve this, and when you meet a woman when you’re older, and your mum is watching on towards the two of you, I want you to make her proud by treating your girl like a princess, willing to sacrifice everything simply to create the future that she wishes for you.” He emotionally wiped his eyes, rushing to stand before he grasped a lightsaber, leaving the other to spare for one of them. “Now Jim and Jody, which one of you will be my padawan?”

[firelxdykatara]

gods, ok, apparently i’m not done.

atla fandom? we need to have a chat.

(....ok that made me sound pretentious as fuck. and maybe i am, but this needs to be said, cause i’m getting....real, real tired of a Certain Corner of this fandom and as a result, this is gonna be a discourse-heavy post so feel free to scroll past if that’s not your bag. as always, my salt posts all carry the catch-all #salt for ts tag, which you’re free to blacklist/filter at your leisure. i’m Very Annoyed at the moment, which will probably come through in the following post, so just. yknow. be prepared for that. or ignore it, that’s perfectly valid too.)

under a cut bc i do care for my followers and their sanity i swear lmao

there’s a real serious issue in this fandom with not understanding what queer terminology actually means or implies, especially when applied to a fictional narrative.

i’m specifically talking about ‘coding’, here. (if i were in a more meme-y mood, i might have said ‘the atla fandom found out about the term “gay-coding” and haven’t shut up since’.)

to the people who say ‘zuko is gay-coded’, i have this to say: you keep using that word. i do not think it means what you think it means. because he isn’t. i’m sorry, but he’s not! and the fact that this is such a prevalent claim in this fandom is distressing, bc it says to me that none of y’all know what gay-coding is or when and how to apply it! please, i’m begging you, go and look up these terms and what they mean and when they should be used before actually trying to plug them into your critical analysis, because when you misuse them and then call other people delusional for disagreeing with you it casts a pall over the entire fandom and is, i think, the root of some of the worst toxicity this fandom has to offer.

and the thing is, there are cases where gay-coding would apply--for instance, a couple series that are famous for queerbaiting their audience by coding their main characters as being attracted to one another (sometimes even despite their openly stated sexualities) come to mind, but those shows bare no similarities at all to atla and how zuko was written and portrayed! (and it would be funny, if it weren’t so obnoxious and infuriatingly wide-spread throughout the fandom, because the only queer couple we actually seen on-screen in either show wasn’t even queer-coded in any respect, and they’re canonically bi! [yes, i’m shading korrasami, or more accurately i’m shading bryke for refusing to give ka the build-up and development they deserved].)

this absolutely isn’t to say that headcanoning zuko as gay is a bad thing or invalid in any respect. (although the tendency for zukka shippers to do this specifically to keep zuko away from katara and/or invalidate his canon relationship/attraction to girls is more than a little eyebrow raising. especially since sokka is usually allowed to be bi, bc fans have no problem letting sukka stay in the background bc it’s no real threat, while jetko shippers are happy to have both boys be bi. [possibly bc katara is less a threat to jetko bc jetkotara is every bit as valid as any single ship between the three, but zukka can’t exactly let katara join in, and if the potential exists for zuko to be attracted to her then canon giving them the far deeper emotional bond becomes a threat to zukka’s existence? idk for sure--you be the judge.]) i prefer to hc zuko as bi (and always have, long before the atla renaissance), bc i don’t think zuko being attracted to boys is outside the realm of possibility, and it isn’t a threat to my ship since zuko&katara had a deep and emotional bond in canon that is very easy to develop further into something that becomes explicitly romantic--but the headcanon itself isn’t really the problem (although what it’s often in service to can be).

it’s the strange insistence that this is the only way to read his character, bc he was coded that way and so anyone who doesn’t see it must be too straight to understand--and i really shouldn’t have to say why and how that is so incredibly fucking insulting. (the ‘hetero lenses’ comment wasn’t cute when it came from bryke six years ago, and the same sentiment being repackaged and delivered by zukka shippers ain’t cute now.)

calling zuko gay-coded not only demonstrates ignorance as to what the term actually means, and how to usefully apply it in critical analysis, but also validates the frankly bullshit insertion of institutionalized homophobia in the world of atla where it was neither needed, nor wanted, nor ever hinted at in canon. as a queer woman i’m still infuriated by one fucking comic panel shoving institutionalized and systemic homophobia into a world where it was entirely unnecessary (and doing this in the first installment of the franchise showcasing a queer relationship??? making korra and asami worried about ‘coming out’ when they could have just gone on to have cute adventures together and tell people ‘hey we’re dating’ and have everyone else be ‘that’s awesome =DDD’ [because it is, in fact, possible to just have a world without homophobia i promise!!!!!] double yikes, i’m still pissed at bryke about it), and i doubly hate that ‘zuko is gay coded’ has become so widespread that ‘ozai hates him bc he’s gay’ has become a staple in that part of the fandom.

not only does making zuko gay and implying (or outright stating) that ozai hated and abused him because of it completely undermine zuko’s character arc by making his abuse about his sexuality rather than ozai’s toxic pride and anger at seeing himself reflected in his ‘weak’ son, but it comes very close to outright stating that abuse and trauma are inherently gay experiences, and they aren’t!!! they really aren’t, i promise!!!

abuse and trauma narratives exist outside of ‘my dad hates me because i’m gay’. and, quite frankly, there are MORE THAN ENOUGH queer trauma narratives out in the world. we do not need to start trying to retroactively make them canon in a series where they didn’t exist! if you’re gay and see yourself in zuko and project your own experiences on him, that’s understandable and valid. that does not make zuko gay-coded. and honestly, the insistence that he is makes very little sense to me, because you’re essentially trying to give the show credit for work you put into interpreting the characters! why would you want to do that? why not own your own headcanons and take credit for them, rather than insisting they are canon and everyone else is wrong for not seeing them??? like, i’ve said before that i’ve always headcanoned zuko (and katara) as bi, and even support it with my interpretations of evidence from the show, but the difference between ‘i think zuko is bi’ and ‘zuko is definitely gay-coded’ is that i know that bi zuko is my interpretation of canon, and that it is work i’m putting into the show that wasn’t actually intended by the creators/writers, no matter how much sexual tension i read into the jetko swordfight.

and like, zuko’s character arc doesn’t actually parallel a queer one all that well to begin with. it’s easy enough to do the work and twist it sideways just enough to make the general points fit, but the fact is, zuko’s arc is not one of self-discovery. it’s not one of coming to understand something fundamental about himself that he can’t change, that he was hated for, and coming out to his father in a dramatic confrontation where he shows that he understands himself and doesn’t need his father’s acceptance to be fulfilled.

zuko’s arc is actually one of trauma and healing. and those can (and often are--like i said, there are more than enough queer trauma narratives in the world, atla really doesn’t need to be one of them) be part of queer narratives, for sure! but they aren’t uniquely queer. and zuko’s confrontation with ozai during the eclipse doesn’t read like a ‘coming out’ at all. (yes, i’ve seen that post. yes, i rolled my eyes and moved on, bc unlike some people, i’m capable of not clowning on correctly tagged posts i disagree with.) zuko is specifically confronting ozai over his abuse, because his arc wasn’t about discovering anything fundamental about himself (and therefore realizing that ozai was hating him for something he couldn’t change)--it was about realizing that he was not at fault for the way his father treated him. it was also about realizing that the fire nation was broken and corrupt at its core, and that his father was an aspect of that he needed to break away from so that he could help the world begin to heal.

he says it himself:

Zuko: No, I've learned everything! And I've had to learn it on my own! Growing up, we were taught that the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history. And somehow, the War was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world. What an amazing lie that was. The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation. They don't see our greatness. They hate us! And we deserve it! We've created an era of fear in the world. And if we don't want the world to destroy itself, we need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness.

making this about zuko being gay and rejecting ozai’s homophobia, rather than zuko learning fundamental truths about the world and about his home and about how there was something deeply wrong with his nation that needed to be fixed in order for the world to heal (and, no, ‘homophobia’ is not the answer to ‘what is wrong with the fire nation’, i’m still fucking pissed at bryke about that), misses the entire point of his character arc. this is the culmination of zuko realizing that he should never have had to earn his father’s love, because that should have been unconditional from the start. this is zuko realizing that he was not at fault for his father’s abuse--that speaking out of turn in a war meeting in no way justified fighting a duel with a child.

is that first realization (that a parent’s love should be unconditional, and if it isn’t, then that is the parent’s fault and not the child’s) something that queer kids in homophobic households/families can relate to? of course it is. but it’s also something that every other abused kid, straight kids and even queer kids who were abused for other reasons before they even knew they were anything other than cishet, can relate to as well. in that respect, it is not a uniquely queer experience, nor is it a uniquely queer story, and zuko not being attracted to girls (which is what a lot of it seems to boil down to, at the end of the day--cutting down zuko’s potential ships so that only zukka and a few far more niche ships are left standing) is not necessary to his character arc. nor does it particularly make sense.

(and before anyone brings up his date with jin--a) he enjoyed it when she kissed him, and b) he was a traumatized, abused child going out on a first date. of course he was fucking awkward. have you ever met a teenage boy????)

anyway, uh, that was a lot of words, so have a tl;dr: zuko is not gay-coded. there is nothing uniquely gay (or even uniquely queer) about his character arc or characterization, and he was certainly not coded gay in an attempt to sneak a queer character past the censors. if anyone involved with atla was gonna try that, it would’ve been in lok, and as established, they didn’t even manage to queer-code the actual queer relationship before the last few minutes of the final episode. headcanoning zuko as gay is absolutely fine (though if it’s only done to keep him away from female characters he may otherwise be attracted to, that smells more like misogyny than anything else), but insisting that this reading is the only one that makes sense, and anyone who doesn’t agree must be straight (hello, queer woman here making this insanely long thinkpiece) is very much not.

ship what you like, but stop trying to invalidate other ships and other interpretations of characters just to make your ship seem more plausible. it’s really not a good look.

[trulyhumblenarcissist]

Abourt Rei Himura and BNHA Chapter 301

Now that I've read the official release of chapter 301 I can finally try to gather my thoughts. I think this time the particular rendition of dialogues and inflections provided by Caleb Cook is more crisp and clear than usual, especially in throwing "shade" upon Endeavor as a father figure. But let's do things in order...

Title: THE WRONG WAY TO PUT OUT A FIRE - a simple, but stark message that doesn't leave space for ambiguity. There was a fire, an imminent tragedy that could and should have been avoided, but whoever tried to fix it, did it all wrong and now we have to deal with a huge arson.

CARLESS HANDLING OF FIRE, on the other hand, doesn't quite cut it for me, because it seems like everything was caused by a foolish mistake. "I was carless and now I'm in a pinch"- type of situation, while it's perfectly clear that Endeavor and Rei decided purposefully which "strategy" to use with Touya. A BAD one to say it lightly. Rei's contribution and complicity is debatable, of course, and I'll touch on this later.

Let me get this clear though: I'm not trying in any way to critique the hard work of unofficial translators. I can't say anything relevant because I'm not a translator in the first place (I can barely understand English and my native language on a good day) and also because I am so grateful for everything they do in order to give us really good material FREE OF CHARGE basically a second after the release in Japan. I'm just interested about the different shades of subtext we can catch if we read the story through multiple filters. Every translation is unique because it carries the personal spin of the author even if the bias should be inexistent or ideally undetectable...

However, back to the chapter

REI'S CAGE

The first scene opens on a luxurious classic Japanese villa, with Enji, Rei and her parents discussing the motivation behind Enji's proposal. Or at least we initially think that's what's going on... Because in reality Rei's family couldn't care less about the motivation. Everything these people see is a wealthy, famous guy the next number one hero ready to take their daughter in marriage. I guess the Himuras are pretty broke, thight on cash, their old prestige is definitely gone and all they can do to save themselves from shame and poverty is "to sell" their only remaining asset.

During the whole ordeal, Rei is standing still, silent, cold as ice. She knows she doesn't really have a choice. How mortifying and sad is this? An adult, capable woman has no agency whatsoever, she is used again and again and she stoically accepts this treatment from every single dominant figure in her life until she can't be stoic anymore. I really hope Horikoshi's going to give her a much more proactive role in saving her family and it seems the narrative wants us to expect this type of character development.

I'd like to point out 2 panels in particular:

First one

In this scene the Todorokis are back from their trip to the doc, who clearly said they shouldn't try to conceive a child with a perfect quirk mix because it is dangerous (and morally questionable too). Rei understands this fact and tries to dissuade Enji, but he doesn't listen, because he's projecting all his pent-up resentment and frustration onto Touya. He knows how it feels to crush against an unbreakable wall, since he can't surpass All might and his son can't too. He had to learn this truth the hard way, so Touya needs to do the same. Enji is purposefully throwing upon his son years of failures, self consciousness and despair, just because the boy has to get it into his thick skull that he is a dud, just like his father. This is not a hopeless dad making a mistake bona fide, this is a broken man trying to destroy his self reflection by proxy, annihilating everything Touya is, swiping the kid's identity under the rug. He describes his son's dreams and sadness as something birthed from stubbornness. He is auto-convincing himself however (because Endeavor is not stupid). A little bit later he's basically saying: "Touya let's play make believe! We can go on like everything I had engulfed in your psyche never existed, you're a failed attempt so you don't exist. Your needs and wants are silly and useless, nothing worth dealing with now that I can't make you my prodigy. Why don't you go play with the other failures so that I don't have to look at myself while taking actually care of you. I don't want to see you, because it's too painful, because you're a remainder of my own inadequacy."

Note: If you want to read an incredibly well done analysis about Endeavor's motives and psyche, you can get it on @thyandrawrites , she's dwelt on everything extensively and way better than me.

I really want to talk about Rei though. In the panel I showed above, her expression is a bit tricky to analyse. At first she is very vocal about her position. She doesn't want to put Touya through useless suffering, especially since they have a scientific reason not to. They have no guarantee of success with other children, besides, they could possibly have to deal with other health related issues. However, all it takes to convince her in the end is Enji's half assed attempt at the "It's for Touya's sake" shtick. Is it really? Why doesn't she question her husband anymore?

Well... I think before Natsuo, she was probably hoping Touya would let go "naturally", with time and growth, maybe by taking interest in his other siblings. Rei said she wanted to have more children because in her mind they would have supported and loved each other. Maybe she was naive enough to think that a big family full of kids few years apart from each other was all Touya needed to distract himself from his purposes... BUT and here is the point I want to get across: She was deluding herself too, much like Enji. The ugly truth, in my opinion, is that Rei is a person prone to protect herself by going with everything other people want, especially if said people are capable of hurting her. Yes, she was hurt time and time again, but what would have happened if she really tried to stop Enji?

What I am trying to say is that Rei is the kind of person who endures to survive. She holds a "captive" mentality in which, by indulging her captor's desires, she can continue living with less possibile damage. If I stay still and silent, if I don't make a scene, I can go on, I can hold onto the few things I have that actually make me happy.

Let's think about it... Enji was so obsessed with his psychotic, power-hungry quest that he would have probably disown Rei. She would have been thrown away for a more compliant woman with an ice quirk, or something similar, this resulting in her probably losing everything, the respect and love of her family (the Himuras) and also her own children. Because we know Endeavor can definitely hold a grudge and is vendicative.

So, clarifying, Rei doesn't put up a fight because she is scared for herself in a way... She is scared to be hurt in the worst possible way (by losing her little bit of serenity), so her strategy is to endure and to keep up a facade of control and purpose.

Rei, ironically just like Touya and other characters in mha, doesn't really get what unconditional love is. Her family loves her until she can be useful to the Himura name and status, her husband loves her for her quirk. Her children, however, love her for who she is and she wants to stay with them... Only to be forced to leave them later anyway.

The few times Rei actually smiles are when she is with her babies. She is a deeply loving mother in her core, but her declining mental health makes her a very lacking caregiver.

This panel, in my opinion, shows the point of no return for Rei. She can't keep the glacial facade forever...

After Natsuo's turn to be deemed a failure, Endeavor is crazier than ever, because All Might is as popular and loved as ever and he hasn't make any progress into his eugenetic games. The last two images of Rei are very telling. She is exhausted, but she knows what her husband wants from her this time too. She looks like a lifeless doll and honestly I can easily see Shouto's conception as... Non consensual and I will stop here.

Then Shouto is born, the last, perfect specimen... And Rei isn't doing much for Touya, we can see she's apparently blind towards her eldest son's distress already after Natsuo's birth... But why?

Because she is actively avoiding to face the Touya's problems too.

If Touya is still suffering, is still feeling stressed and worthless, then everything Rei has endured, everything she pretended not to feel for the sake of her family has been completely useless. What Rei cannot look at is her own parental failure, is the concrete proof that while protecting herself and her peace she did not protect her children too, because the two interests were never really aligned, even if she really believed so. She never had a functional family to preserve in the first place and everything she accepted to do was all for the sake of a false sense of belonging.

However is too easy to say she should've rebelled against Enji and dumped his sorry ass. Abuse traps you and your abuser too in a cage tricky to escape.

What I imagine will happen next chapter is one of two things:

Enji stops Touya by using brute force, probably also saying something really scarring to reinforce the notion that Shouto is the only child he cares about.

Rei stops Touya by using her quirk. This act could be considered by Touya another confirmation that even his mother actually does something by her own accord only when Shouto's safety is at risk

Necessary conclusions

I don't blame Rei for her actions too much. She is a victim turned abuser by circumstances, but more importantly she's actually taken mesures to prevent herself from hurting her children again. She's trying to heal for her family's sake, really this time. Ten years spent dealing with guilt and having actual therapy seem a good plan to me. And now she's the one ready to snap Enji back to reality.

Enji, on the other hand, is trying too. It's too little too late, but if he stops avoiding reality and hardly works on understanding his family's point of view I don't think he is completely unredeemable. I don't see him surviving his last confrontation with Touya, thought... But I could be totally wrong.

Obviously everything I've said it's my personal analysis on Rei's character, as I interpret her actions and words, so feel free to contradict me and/or to add anything you might see fit.

[peterssimp]

slater!

Seo Changbin x female reader

2.1k words of fluff

slater: an all around nice guy

lol hi 0325stay here, back as peterssimp. I’ll probs be reposting old fics of mine haha

It was supposed to be a lowkey get together with just a small group of friends, but you know how it goes. Word goes around. Friends tell friends then they tell their friends and now you were at home, packed with a bunch of strangers. 

You didn’t mind that much, as long as no one was too rowdy everything would be okay. Though you didn’t know most of these people well, there was one that caught your eye. He wasn’t that tall, but he was tall enough. What stood out the most was the way he stood there, looking all confident in himself and mysterious.

This man didn’t do much. He just watched everyone, took sips from his cup with folded arms. He just stayed calm and quiet by the wall. 

You took glances at him every once in a while, to see how he was doing and every time you peeked, it was like he felt you looking because he’d look back up at you and shoot you a smirk from across the room.

The blush would spread across your face whenever he did that, but you couldn’t help yourself. You had to keep looking. There was something so addicting to this guy even when he was doing the bare minimum. 

Eventually, he caught on. He knew you were attracted to him and this time whenever you glanced at him, he gave you a nod and a smile. Laughing when he saw your face turn red. But he just continued to stand there, still with a cup in his hands, and probably watching over his friends.

It was the middle of the night now, but the party was still alive. And you were probably a bit tipsy, but not enough for you to forget anything you do. It did give you a boost of confidence though, so you decided to go make a move on this stranger.

You walked over to him after you filled your cup again and stood beside him, leaning on the wall. He was even more good looking up close, and under the shirt, you finally saw the large muscles on him which attracted you even more. 

Before you could say anything, this man beat you to it. He saw how out of place your hair was, so with a finger, he pushed the strands of hair behind your ear and stared at your eyes. Making you blush even more now.

“What’s your real name?”

Apparently, he only knew you by the nicknames your friends passed around.

“Y/N…”

You gulped as you took another sip of your drink, trying to act cool, but you couldn’t. He smiled and kept his hand on your shoulder and bent down a bit to whisper in your ear.

“Pretty name for a pretty girl… Well, I’m Changbin.”

And just like that, you two got to talking. He was kind, but cold, just giving you that bad boy vibe. He looked so scary and intimidating, but when you two started talking, you could tell that he knew how to keep a conversation going.. It was light, but playful, also adding in some jokes here and there, just keeping you smiling and giggling as you two talked.

“You’re not seeing anyone, right?”

You kinda choked at the question, but you quickly shook your head saying no.

“Cute, ‘cause I’d love to take you out one time. You know, just talk more in a quieter place. Preferably alone.”

Changbin was about to lean down and give you a kiss on the cheek, but then, he heard one of his friends call him to help them and he excused himself from you, cutting the fun conversation short. 

You watched him carry his friend off the couch and watched him struggle a bit to get his friend standing, but he managed to support him and he called an uber to go home. Being the host, you walked them out the door and watched the whole group get into the uber safely.

Before you shut the door, Changbin ran back to it and slipped you a piece of paper with all his socials and his number and quickly left you a peck on the cheek.

“I had fun tonight, good night.”

At this point, you were feeling starstruck by this man. He wasn’t too special, but you were just so drawn to him and you didn’t think that by simply standing beside him would lead you to getting his number and social media plus him asking you out.

You held onto that piece of paper tight that night as you waited for more people to leave your place. Surprisingly, one by one, each friend group started to leave and catch their rides home and finally, you were home alone.

Even though it was 1am, you couldn’t be at peace with yourself until everything was cleaned up. Luckily, everyone knew how to clean up after themselves so there wasn’t a huge mess left. Just some bottles and bags of food that needed to be put away.

“Hey, it’s Y/N from the party. Did you get home safely?”

You started to text Changbin while you started cleaning up. You didn’t think about how fast he’d reply because it was late and he was probably tired. But then, your phone started to ring and it was Changbin calling. You picked up and he started thanking you for the night.

He told you he and his friends got home safely and then continued on with the conversation you two were having earlier that night. Then, he asked you what you were doing and you mentioned that you were just cleaning up. 

Changbin was lowkey feeling bad that you were cleaning up alone so he asked if you needed any help because he was bored and wasn’t tired just yet. You thought to yourself for a bit, maybe this could be the chance that you two could get to know each other even more, in the comfort of your own home.

You told him that he didn’t need to, but he kept insisting, saying that he wanted to see you too.

So, in a few minutes, Changbin made the drive to your house and knocked on your door. You were kind of shocked that he drove because you thought he had been drinking earlier, but it turns out, he wasn’t. It was only pop.

He started sweeping and mopping and throwing out the trash for you. Basically doing all of the work because he told you to just sit back and relax and just calm yourself down with some water. This man was a genuine hardworking guy, which made him even more attractive.

The connection you two had through this conversation somewhat made you feel safe and comfortable with him. Even though you two only met that night. His laugh was contagious and his comments were wise, but interesting. This man was different. Maybe you got lucky meeting him tonight.

Changbin finished cleaning up and your house was spotless now. It was now almost 3am, but you two were still enjoying each other’s presence. You didn’t want him to leave, so you offered him to stay the night if he wanted to. 

Surprisingly, he agreed and offered to sleep on the couch, but you felt bad, especially after he cleaned the whole house for you. So, you shook your head and took his hand in yours and led him up the stairs to your room. 

He mentioned that he wasn’t the type to do one night stands, so you just laughed because you weren’t the type to do that too. His face turned confused, but you told him you had another bed in your room that he was welcome to sleep on.

Changbin waited outside your room while you changed and then knocked on the door when you were done. You let him in and you two continued the conversation again. It was like a never-ending story between you two. He climbed into your bed with you instead of the other one, but you didn’t mind.

He laid there with you, just staring up at the ceiling while jokes were being passed around. Your hands were intertwined with each other as you spoke, but since it was getting late, you were starting to doze off throughout the conversation and Changbin noticed. 

Gently, he pulled you in closer and let you use his arms as a pillow. Then you two just took a quick nap together until you started to hear the birds chirp as they woke up and it was right before sunrise too.

“Good morning”

Changbin said as he placed a kiss on your head, smiling when he saw that your hands were still holding his. He looked out to see that it was before sunrise and asked you if you wanted to take a quick ride to see the sun rise, maybe even grabbing some breakfast after.

Without hesitation, you agreed and off you two went. Usually you weren’t this trusting, but Changbin was different. He was like a breath of fresh air and you could tell that he was a good person from the start.

He put on his favourite morning playlist and drove freely through the traffic free streets of the city and then to the best viewpoint that overlooks the city. Throughout the ride, Changbin kept switching from holding your hand to his gear since he drove a manual car.

He took sweet looks at you while you kept talking. With the wind blowing through your hair and the quiet roads only highlighted your laughs with him. He was starting to feel lucky for meeting you too.

Finally, you two made it to the viewpoint and sat on the hood of the car as you watched the sun wake up. He never let go of your hand and now, he was even resting his head on your shoulder. It was like you two knew each other for so long already.

As you two watched the sun rise, Changbin shuffled down and rested his head on your lap, just looking up at you now.

“You’re something special, aren’t you?”

You didn’t know what to say, so you sat there in silence and just smiled back at him. His hand  guided your hand to his hair, moving it to let you know that he wanted you to play with his hair. And so, you did. It was comforting to both of you anyways.

Watching the sunrise was so calming and comforting and you two just felt right. Changbin decided to make another move and stood up in front of you, opening his arms up in an embrace. You gladly accepted it and now you were in his arms, feeling the warmth of his body as he hugged you tight.

He then looked down at you and with no hesitation went straight for your lips. Finally kissing you after wanting to kiss you the whole night. First, it was soft and quick, but when he pulled away with a smile, you pulled him back to just kiss him back longer.

Your lips brushed against his and it felt like butterflies were taking over your body. He felt your breath along his skin which only raised goosebumps all over, and he tasted the sweet gloss on your lips. 

Changbin felt his heart beat faster and faster and when you continued sharing a kiss, his mind went blank and there was nothing else on his mind. He just wanted this moment to last. He was struck with happiness and content for once in his life. 

When you pulled away and felt shy, you also saw him blush for the first time and he couldn’t stop smiling. He looked so adorable that you just wanted to capture the moment. You quickly pulled out your phone and asked him to pose for the camera. But he took it and flipped the camera around, sitting on the hood of his car and pulling you in between his legs.

He told you to count and to smile on 3. You followed what he said and on 3, you were surprised with a kiss on the cheek as he captured that moment with you. The sunlight hitting you two perfectly and making you look like gold.

“You’re so beautiful y/n. This one’s for the books.”

Despite only meeting him a few hours ago, you could tell that you and Changbin were going to be in each other’s lives for long. Again, he pulled you in for a hug and embraced you tight, leaving you kisses on top of your head, which was his habit and just watched the city below come to life now.

“Let’s get breakfast now?”

[arcturusreads]

Hi i dont know if your still accepting prompts but I didn’t want to forget the idea lol no pressure though take your time with this one: Hayes bringing Meredith to Ireland to meet his family and to spend time together just the two of them

Tell Ma I'm Coming Home - Merhayes

I've been shockingly bad at writing lately so I'm sorry that this took so long but I hope this is okay x

“You know, it’s a well-known fact that I don’t do very well when it comes to meeting parents.”

After a 13-hour flight that included a stopover, Cormac had yet to persuade Meredith that his family were going to love her. He’d spoken to both his parents in length about Meredith, mainly due to his Ma’s probing. Initially, they had both just been grateful that Cormac had been willing to open up his heart again. There was never a concern as to how he would handle becoming a single father to two teenage boys. The worry had laid in the thoughts that their only son wouldn’t find someone to share his life with. That his grief over losing Abigail would be all-consuming, not allowing him to understand that he could be happy again.

So, when Cormac had finally told them that he was seeing someone, neither of them could care less who it was at first. Their excitement was purely because their son had eventually understood that finding love again didn’t mean that his love for Abigail would ever diminish and that he deserved to be happy. Over the past few months, they’d gotten to know more about the girl that Cormac had fallen for. She sounded headstrong, confident, stubborn. Everything that Cormac needed.

“Mer, I promise you that I’m not throwing you into the lion’s den. I wouldn’t ever do that to you. So, please trust me when I say that they already love you.”

The two of them were trundling up a stone strewn path. After getting a bus and a taxi from the airport, Cormac had told the taxi driver to drop them off in the middle of a small village, telling Meredith that the walk to his parent's house out on the fields was definitely worth it. After ten minutes she was yet to believe that. It might have been a bit better had they not been dragging their suitcases behind them. Cormac had offered multiple times to take hers but Meredith had stubbornly refused. She could carry her own bags.

When the house eventually came into sight Meredith stopped in her tracks. Her mouth dry. Realising she wasn’t following him anymore, Cormac turned around and walked back to his girlfriend. Placing a hand on her hack, he kissed her cheek.

“Come on, I promise you, my family are just as crazy as yours are.”

He gently pushed her forward with him, knowing that she wouldn’t be willing to move otherwise. It was odd for him to see Meredith like this. The woman that he had fallen in love with was so confident in her work, so headstrong in her life that it was peculiar to see her this anxious about something that he hadn’t thought was that big of a deal.

From outside the door, the pair could already hear booming laughter from inside. The sound of his father’s laughter made an unconscious smile appear on Cormac face. It didn’t matter how long he spent in America, this was always going to feel like home to him. One hand still on Meredith’s back, Cormac opened the door with the other ushering Meredith in first, who hesitantly walked in.

Cormac brought both the bags in, giving her a grin before yelling out, “Ma, Da! We’re here!”

A woman in her mid-30s came rushing out of the living room, her blonde hair falling out of a bun.

“Cormac!” She flung her arms around his neck, making him stagger back a little before he steadying himself and returned the hug,

“Trying to kill me, are ya, Niamh?”

She pulled away, slapping his arm. “Well, maybe if you visited more often then I wouldn’t find the need to.” She stuck her tongue out at him whilst Cormac just rolled his eyes.

Not entirely sure what to do or say, Meredith, stood off awkwardly to the side. She didn’t want to interrupt Cormac’s time with his family. He’d spoken in length to her about his sister Niamh. Whilst the age gap between them was quite large, he had always been close to his sister. Always let her tag along when he would be going to play football with his friends, would spend the entire weekend with her when she was able to convince their parents to let her visit him in uni.

Niamh nudged her brother, nodding over at Meredith so she could be introduced.

“You know you could just introduce yourself. I feel like you might just be old enough now.”

That earned him another punch in the arm. Winching, and rubbing the injury, Cormac decided not to risk any more teasing. “Niamh, this is my girl, Meredith. Meredith, this is my entirely annoying,” he flinched as Niamh went to punch him again, “but extremely talented, baby sister Niamh.”

Grinning Niamh pushed her brother out of the way and went to hug Meredith. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

Eventually and awkwardly, Meredith hugged her back. This was definitely a warmer reception than she had had with Derek’s sisters.

“I thought he was going to hide you from us forever. You must be exhausted, come into the living room, Da’s already in there and Ma just ran out for some milk.”

Meredith found herself being dragged off to the living room and when she turned back to her boyfriend, she found him with a huge grin and knowing look on his face. He’d had no doubt that this was going to be the reception she got from his family.

Cormac hadn’t even managed to step foot into the living room before Niamh had begun introductions.

“Da, this is Cormac’s girlfriend, Meredith.”

“it’s a pleasure to meet you, Meredith.” Standing up from a worn-out armchair, Cormac’s father was dressed in a white shirt and a pair of grey trousers.

Meredith took his outstretched hand to shake, “Thank you for letting me stay here, Mr Hayes.”

He gave a hearty chuckle, shaking his head. “Oh, you don’t need to call me, Mr Hayes. Rory will do just fine. Come on, take a seat, Ava won’t be too long now.”

As Meredith took a seat next to Niamh on an empty sofa, Rory welcomed his son home. The two shared a long, tight hug. It was clear to see that Rory had missed having Cormac around. The space between visits had been far too long and Rory had left it up to his wife to badger their son to come and visit them but he had missed Cormac more than anyone. Watching the Six Nation hadn’t quite been the same since his son had left.

When the two of them had finally let go of each other Cormac gave a pointed look to Niamh, the same one he had given her when they were kids as he wanted her to move but she wasn’t six years old anymore and happy to listen to her brother.

“Oh, I don’t think so. You two have been dating for months which means that you’ve had her to yourself for months. So, I’m pretty sure you can survive not sitting next to Meredith while Da and I get to know her.”

Cormac looked over at Meredith, hoping that she might support him but instead his girlfriend just smirked at him. “You heard her. There are plenty of seats in this room.”

Shaking his head, Cormac took a seat on the other armchair in the room whilst his father laughed at him. Inside though, he was pleased that Meredith felt comfortable enough to not need him next to her, that she was happy to sit next to his sister. The next ten minutes were spent with Cormac mostly on the outskirts of the conversation as Rory, Niamh and Meredith all got to know each other. Meredith found herself quickly at ease with the pair much to her surprise. That ease soon faded away when she heard the voice of Ava Hayes as she entered the house. This had been the member of the Hayes’ family that Meredith had been most worried to meet.

Cormac had told Meredith of the close relationship that he had with his mother. She had always been his number one supporter: his toughest critic yet his biggest cheerleader. It was Ava whom Cormac had leant on for support when Abigail was first diagnosed, always at the end of the phone whenever he needed her. Whilst she hadn’t agreed with Cormac’s rash move to Switzerland, she had still gone to visit him and the boys after a few months to make sure that they were settled properly.

“Cormac!” A lady of around five feet bustled through the door in a floral white summer dress and coral cardigan, her brunette hair going white at the roots hung around her shoulders.

Cormac immediately got up from his seat and wrapped his mother in a hug. “Ma, I’ve missed you.” He kissed her cheek as they pulled away.

Ava smacked his arm making her son wince, “You wouldn’t have to miss me if you just came to visit more often.”

As he opened his mouth to reply, his mother quickly waved him off. “Don’t bother with the excuses. It’s Meredith that I’m more excited to see.”

“Thank, Ma.”

Ava ignored her son’s sarcastic drawl and turned to look at Meredith who’d gotten up from the sofa. Much like her daughter, Ava pulled Meredith into a hug.

“it’s so lovely to finally meet you, Meredith. Cormac won’t stop going on about you whenever he calls.”

Meredith gave a nervous smile, a slight blush crawling up her cheeks. “It’s nice to meet you too but I definitely wouldn’t believe everything he says about me.”

“Nonsense. You’re the woman who’s finally managed to put a smile on my son’s face again. I’ll forever be grateful to you because of that.” Ava’s eyes began to well up with tears.

Meredith took one of her hands and gave it a squeeze. “You raised an amazing man and he’s done a lot more for me than I have for him.”

Ava quickly wiped away the tears that had fallen. “Oh, don’t praise him too much, it’ll just go to his head.”

“Oh, trust me, there’s no risk of that.”

“It’s true, that’s probably the first compliment she’s given me in the past three months.”

Meredith just rolled her eyes at him in response, “There’s just not a lot to compliment and that’s not my fault.

Ava couldn’t help but chuckle at their interaction. She felt fully at peace now having met Meredith. She’d never doubted her son’s judgment but having finally met Meredith, Ava knew that her son was in good hands, and she couldn’t be happier. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t spoken to her son’s girlfriend for very long, Ava just had a good feeling about her. Not only that but she had seen the way that Meredith and Cormac kept glancing at each other, she could sense the lightness in her son’s stature that she feared had disappeared forever and the woman standing in front of her had been willing to take a 13-hour flight to meet her boyfriend’s family for the first time. If Cormac ever let go of Meredith, Ava was going to give him hell, but she was pretty sure that this was Cormac’s second chance love and she didn’t know anyone that deserved it more.

[bakugohoex]

I'm sorry about that! Its okay don't worry, if you don't mind I'd wanna ask for the same requests but with kenma and koganegawa?

“you’re so cute, bunny”

pairing: kanji koganegawa x female reader

cw: fluff, language

word count: 1600+

a/n: hi, i decided to do just the koganegawa one due to having never written for him and i thought a cute little headcanon would be cute to do

summary: in which you’re the personification of a bunny and koganegawa falls in love with you

 ↞ back to haikyu!! masterlist

Love at first sight, this man would see you walk past the gym and fall in love.

He’d run, I don't mean like a creepy run though, like he’d sprint and do that little jog at the end and just peak his head out of the gym doors, staring at you walk away.

Definitely shout something to you, on sight you flinch from his shouting, refusing to turn around.

Sad boy, he will get all sad at how you didn't even turn around.

He won't see you again until a week later when you’re coming out from the library, he just watches you, making sure that you’re okay. That's when he hears the lightning and watches how you jump in fright. He sees a fear run through you before you run back into the library.

He fell in love just watching your interactions with loud noises, a drop of books that would pass you, you’d twitch. He made sure your flinching wasn't due to abuse asking your friends about it, who told him how you just hated loud noises since you were kid, and you were walking past a concert. 

Heart warms, he just had to talk to you again, this time he’s quieter. 

You obviously knew the first-year setter, having been to a couple of their games with your friends. Volleyball was interesting and you couldn't lie, you could tolerate the loud shouting and join in with the cheers. 

Baby walks up to you, a smile on his face and you give him a look of such admiration. Your eyes in a wonder just staring at his lips as he spoke to you, the only thing you’d hear is numbers. 

You’d instantly give it and in a matter of weeks you both had planned on a date. 

Adorable little picnic date, away from others and loud noises. Just the two of you in your happy place, and when it starts raining, he’d pick you up and run with the basket and you through the rain and into the shop.

Would definitely kiss you on the first date, he just already knows you’re the one. 

Start of the sweetest relationship possible, he will always hold your hand and show you off. 

Whenever it starts raining, he will stay inside until it stops and walk you home. 

I swear being in a relationship would be the cutest thing possible, every time you both have to part, he’d give you the softest kiss and the biggest hug.

You’d definitely shout at games just for him, even if you hated loud noises, you’d be the loudest one there, just shouting his name. 

He’d give you the brightest smile and set just for you. It would actually be a good set as well that Aone wouldn't miss. 

Would call you bunny, you just remind him of one with your jump scares and just how adorable you are.

After every game, he’d watch you run up to him, his arms out for you and praise you for your support, he’d definitely be like “you’re so cute, bunny” with the widest grin possible.

All in all, a relationship between you two is just two adorable babies loving and being with each other. 

You waited patiently outside the park that Koganegawa had sent you, it looked peaceful, cute even. The white skirt encased your thighs and the pastel shirt you wore helping to ease the summer breeze, you stood with your phone in your hand. Stomach churning, at a loss, you had admired him ever since he first spoke to him, the way he sauntered towards you with a confession at hand. Now here you are a couple weeks later, waiting for a date he had asked for a week ago. 

“Hey Y/n, you weren't waiting long right?” You turned around to meet his eyes, he stared, looking at every intricate detail of your body and clothes. You were perfect and he was a mess on sight, your voice making him think again. 

“Ugh, not that long.” You smiled walking closer to him. 

He scratched the back of his head, hiding the blush that was forming from just seeing you, “you look really n...nice.”

“Thanks, so what’s the plan?” He gave a gleam from having prepared everything the prior night, he pulled out the basket from behind his back. 

“I thought of a picnic, because it's...summer.” You nod at him, he stared at your hands softly putting his own out. You look down to see his much longer fingers than your own, taking it as he tried to suppress the pure joy, he was getting from holding your hand. 

He took you to the far back, talking about how he used to come here when he was a kid. You listened intrigued with how he could easily talk about anything, the way he spoke about a section that was hidden away from everybody else. Where the two of you could be away from others without their disturbance. 

You looked around, the flowers blooming out around the land. It was perfect, better than any of the other dates you’d been on, the consideration and care that the boy had put into it. To make you feel secure and safe, melted your heart. “I love it.” The grin on your face was all Koganegawa needed to grab your hand and sit you down on the blanket. 

A conversation flowing, your head leaning against his thighs as you lie facing upwards. He had let you play with hind fingers, you asked about his hair, how he got into volleyball, his past and childhood. He spoke enthusiastically about it all, speaking highly of how he wanted may not think properly he’d always support his team. It melted your heart, his sheer passion to be there for his team made you just want to kiss him. 

His fingers rested within your own, each vein across his hand being skimmed across with your own smaller fingers. He loved the sensation, you’d answer his questions, speaking about your own passions. But he watched as you’d get easily distracted, seeing the bees and butterflies fly through the wildlife or just his own hand would distract you.

He had loved when your head had moved to his lap, his other hand stroking your hair. If anybody had seen the sight, it would look like lovers who had been dating for years. He loved that feeling though, how at ease you both were with each other. 

You both spent the rest of the afternoon together, what hadn't dawned on the boy was the mixed message of the weather. When a downpour of rain had occurred, “fuck, let me just grab everything.” He muttered, you helped him, you might hate lightning, but the rain was okay, and when with Koganegawa you almost fell in love with it. 

He smiled at how you looked with the basket in your hands, “come here.” He whispered, you came with the basket in your hand, the rain drenching through your clothes and hair. His own hair getting flat, you could see through his white shirt, but he didn’t care. Instead of grabbing your waist and bringing you up to his body, your arms wrapped around his neck as he carried you through the rain. 

It was a sight to say the least, the basket between the two of you, allowing it to be risky, but Koganegawa just wanted you to not get ill. He ran through the rain trying to find the nearest store for you both to wait in. He hadn't realised how you looked at him, with so much comfort, even with the cold rain hitting you. Blurring both your visions, he felt warmth from you, the way your eyes brought so much love intoxicated him. 

“You’re so pretty.” You whispered leaning your head against his chest, he felt his ears grow redder. His face flustered, stumbling for his own words.

He didn't speak only trying to stop the blushing which you barely saw, your eyes fixated on his tight grip against you. He finally let go just as you both arrived inside a shop where a lot of people had congregated to get away from the rain. 

He grabbed your hand taking the basket with his other, “we’re going to be stuck here for a while.” You mutter out.

“You don’t want to spend more time with me.” He pouts playfully.

You chuckle at his action, taking him to the back away from the people, you both looked through the chocolate section. He watched as you tried to choose between two flavours, “i think the nuts one would taste better.”

He couldn't even speak at your comment, just admiring you. He watched you put the two down giving a confused look at his blank stare, “Koganegawa, you okay?” 

“Yeah, just…” He didn't finish his sentence, only taking your hand, he brought you past the others, a confused expression staying firm on you before you both were back in the rain. Even if it had settled down a bit, there was still a light pour occurring.

“Where are we going?” You question, he doesn't answer until you both are away from people, his lips instead smashing into your own.

You were in shock but the way his hands had moved to cup your face, your hands tugging at his hair. It was a kiss you had wanted prior, a kiss he had been craving from you. He felt like a boy who had just one first place. He was content with it all, the way a soft whine would come from your throat when he’d take a breath of air before kissing you again. The way you let his tongue slide in so easily, the way you were accepting of him, how you admired him even when he was what others would call simple minded. He had fallen in love in a matter of minutes, your first date together was the day he knew he was never letting you go. 

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

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[5-falsehoods-phonated]

When Our Hands Next Meet

Series summary: Soulmates are given memories of their past lives when their hands touch. For Virgil and Logan, each memory is happier than the last.

This series was created for @analogicalweek and made in collaboration with the lovely @birdsongisland! They made this amazing piece for this this work; go support them with reblogs so it can be seen!

Credit to birdsongisland for beta reading this as well! You’re input means a lot and I’m truly grateful.

Chapter 2: The Lines Trace Back to You

Chapter Summary: Logan and Virgil share a quiet moment away from their ship as Logan tells stories with the stars.

Day 2 Prompt: Song/Stars

Warnings: none. If there are others please let me know!

WC: 1349

AO3 link

Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @ace-in-a-shopping-cart @janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi @logans-library @im-an-anxious-wreck @edupunkn00b

The night was still and calm, bringing a quiet respite for the crew of a ship docked on the beach nearby. Waves lapped quietly at the ships hull and lulled even the most dutiful night watcher into a light slumber, entrusting the safety of their fellow shipmates to the vast expanse of peaceful nothing that lay beyond the beach. Soft winds whistled through the sparse trees and kicked up the sand at their bases, irritating the crabs hiding underneath as they hastened to rebury themselves before sunrise. Crickets sang out the last notes of their songs while birds chirped the first of theirs. Up on a nearby hill a man sighed blissfully, hidden from view even from the keenest of eyes and leaning back to relax into the sturdy chest behind him.

Virgil felt a low rumble against his back and smiled, tilting his head back to look at what his designated pillow could be laughing at. Deep green eyes met a deeper blue and not for the first time he felt himself get lost in the other’s gaze. He would sooner throw himself off his own ship in a storm than admit he might be a sap but those eyes had always compromised any notion he might have had that his heart was anything other than soft. A hand came up to cup his jaw and he closed his eyes to feel the ghost of a kiss brush against his forehead. Too soon the feeling passed, replaced instead with the hand crossing over to grip his shoulder and pull him tighter into the heat that radiated off the body behind him. In the chill of the early morning he had never been more grateful to have a living space heater to call his own.

Nuzzling back as Logan rested their chin on top of his head he sighed happily, pouting slightly as another chuckle jostled his position somewhat. He brought his hand up to tap at Logan’s arm to get their attention, snapping out quick motions with his fingers when he was sure he had it.

"What’s so funny?"

“You’re too easy to rile up.” Logan answered affectionately. “I was just thinking how lucky I am to see this side of you. You give orders all day like you were born to the violence of the sea and yet cling to me like a damsel in distress when away from prying eyes. It’s cute.”

Laughing outright as their forearm was bit gently in warning they brought their other hand up to comb through Virgil’s fluffy hair, earning a content purr for their efforts which they figured meant their apologetic offer had been accepted. They leaned back against the tree again, tightening their grip to bring Virgil with them so they could gaze up at the sky. It was still dark enough to see the stars relatively clearly, the barely there threat of dawn lighting the horizon just enough to show the purple of the other’s hair. They hummed softly in triumph as they found what they were looking for, bringing their hand up to point at a cluster of stars. 

“Can you see that bright star there? Slightly left of the treeline?” They waited until Virgil tapped his confirmation before continuing. “There are three more dimmer stars that sort of make a line see? And crossing them are three stars with a row of three set right on the edge making a curve shape. Altogether they resemble a swan.”

Virgil tapped their arm again that he understood as he relaxed completely into the secure hold. He always loved to hear Logan talk about stars- a lot of the time the only thing they were used for was navigation, old stories forgotten and rewritten to better suit a life of sailing the seas. But when Logan talked about them there were always stories attached that dated back to Roman philosophers or amazonian astrologists. Where Virgil had been trained to see calculations in the sky Logan told of great battles won and lost, of Great Hunts led by archers on elk and bears doomed to wander the void for eternity- all told with the deep rumbling voice he had grown accustomed to falling asleep to when the night allowed it.

“It’s called Cygnus.” That voice called Virgil’s attention back from his wandering thoughts. “It’s Greek history is quite dreary, as the stories of their gods tend to be. But it’s relevance in Hinduism is quite lovely. It correlates with Brahmamuhurtha which translates to ‘a moment in the universe’. Between 4:24 and 5;12 in the morning is supposed to be a favorable time to do anything important or get a running start to the day. It’s a much better story to whatever family drama the Greek Gods had to earn them a constellation.”

Virgil snorted at the last bit; even if Logan knew almost everything there was to know when it came to Greek, Roman and Norse mythology they held a particular disdain for the dramatic and hyperbolized tragedy that made up the majority of the former’s myths and legends. Often if he needed a distraction from something Virgil would start them up on a rant about who should have talked to who about this certain subject so that this group of people wasn’t doomed to be cursed because of those people’s actions. Once Virgil had left the room to do a small task in the next one over, surprisingly unnoticed by Logan who had continued pacing and ranting like he had never left, voice carrying clearly through the walls all while ripping Zeus a new one for not being able to quote “Just keep it in his pants.”

Deciding the air was much too peaceful to start up another one of those discussions he instead raised his hands so Logan could see them, black nail polish glinting in the first rays of dawn as he signed. “What would you be doing right now, with your moment in the universe? Would you be back home waking up at dawn to feed the cows instead of leading a life of crime?”

Smiling, Logan shook their head. They hadn't thought when they were a teenager that someday they'd be sailing around on a pirates’ ship with one of most ruthless (as far as rumors went) crews in all the seas. They’d been trying to swipe Virgil’s coinpurse, not knowing who he was at the time, and had of course been caught before the bag had even left the pirate’s belt. The moment their skin had touched however, a thousand and one lives had flashed in an instant, leaving them blinking in astonishment into green eyes that glimmered with reserved mischief and buried kindness. 

Prayers they hadn’t even known they had had been answered that day as an anonymous envelope containing the money their family had needed was found on their doorstep along with hidden coordinates along the edge that was thankfully overlooked by their mother. They missed her some days but their life had taken a better turn when they had turned up on the boat at the crack of dawn, hauling themself over the railing and waving the envelope at the person who had their face pinned to the deck with their sword before they could breathe a word. Home? That was with Virgil. Looking down at the man still curled comfortably in their lap worrying at his bottom lip they expressed as much in earnest.

“I’d be right here, doing exactly as I am right now. You are my moment always, and there’s nowhere else in the universe that I’d rather be.”

Tracing lines in the freckles on their cheeks, Logan felt Virgil spell out “sap” on their cheekbones, making them grin and lean over to cup the other’s cheeks in their own hands. 

“All the lines between the stars- they all trace back to you my love.” 

The hill obscured the kiss shared between them from any eyes that may have wandered in their direction, allowing only the stars to bear witness to their moment in the universe.

Previous     Next

[fantasyinvader]

Beat Binding Blade tonight

So, right off the bat I'm going to admit. I abused the arena and save states. This is a really, really hard game. And while I enjoyed it, I'm going to give three things I didn't like about it.

1)Enemy reinforcements arrive at the end of the player phase, and can attack during the enemy phase. That is unfair, especially when I assume that parking a unit on the spawn point will prevent them (It doesn't) or my healer just happens to be in the area. I like difficult games, but when I fail at something in those I want to feel like it's my fault for doing so. When I die in Bloodborne or lose a unit in Fates Conquest, I'm willing to accept it because I felt it was fair (plus I'll just restart the chapter in Conquest anyway). I could have not died if I had played a little better. This game was not fair when it did that.

2)The supports. A lot of the stuff about the characters is locked away in their supports, since this is one of the old Fire Emblems where it throws units your way because it's assuming you didn't reset the game when one died. They don't get cutscenes to be important, and with only five supports per character (barring if one dies, then any unit that had supports with gets those supports back). And even then, getting an A rank doesn't pair up any units except for Roy. So you don't get to play love doctor here, it's only really there for the stat boosts. But in the case of my boy, he needs those supports in order for his character to fully come through.

3)I can take 8 units into the final battle, and they're the only ones who get full ending cards. Everyone else just gets a single line. Kinda weak if I use someone like Fir for most of the game, but bench her at the end to give Rutget Durandal.

Even with my cheating, I still enjoyed this game. Mostly for the story. When Fire Emblem first appeared in Smash Brothers Melee, as a kid it instantly caught my attention. Roy and Marth just looked so cool with their swords and armor (true fact: My favorite design for Link is the Skyward Sword design, simply because it has chainmail under the tunic. I get it, the tunic is iconic but SS's Link just looks practical), and I preferred Roy because I though his fully-charged shield breaker hurting him was cool. I even keep a Cipher card of his in my wallet for good luck. I wanted to know what Fire Emblem was, what kind of game it was. My friend showed me a screenshot of the upcoming GBA game in Nintendo power, which I got for the following Christmas (sadly, I didn't get Sacred Stones as I got a PS2 the following year). I loved that game, but the idea that I was playing as Roy's father always was a bit of a sour point for me. It's because of that game when I got a 2DS a decade later, because I wanted to game but kept getting pulled away from my console, I eventually went back to Fire Emblem.

And, I'm going to admit, Binding Blade hurt me because I played Blazing Blade first. It really did. I mean, Hector dies early on, Lyn is presumably dead hell a lot of my old comrades probably died in this war, Eliwood's wife dies shortly after they are married while Eliwood is more useless than ever, the kid I saved in Bern becomes a genocidal maniac, and the fact that the characters of Blazing Blade kinda caused this to happen by releasing the seals on the Legendary Weapons in their own quest... It kinda bugs me that the Legendary Weapons I used in Blazing Blade are in their trap filled storage places. Like, who returned them there? And if I have characters from that game returning in Binding, I find it strange they don't comment on needing them again. But this is a case of the game trying to be a prequel to a story that wasn't written with it in mind.

But at the end of the day, one thing just kept popping up in my mind. Binding Blade is the antithesis of the Crimson Flower route from Three Houses. I know they said Genealogy of the Holy War was an inspiration, but I can't help it. I've seen so many people try to praise that said route as some sort of denouncement of the rest of the franchise. That it's about putting power in the hands of the people (it's not) instead of having some Lord be the good king. Granted, the Mandate of Heaven seems like it's a running theme of the series, so without understanding what that is I can understand why people don't grasp what that part of the message. But Binding Blade, it just hit so many things on the nose that I needed to say something.

So without further adieu, I'm just going to bring up a few points.

With Regards to Humanity

It's interesting how both Zephiel and Edelgard come at this from different angles. Sure, they both lead wars of conquest across the entire continent, and I'm guessing Zeph didn't tell his troops what he was planning on doing once he won so there's likely a level of deception going on there as well. He really doesn't care for his fellow man, and the game goes out of it's way to show us why. Hatred, greed, or even selling out your people in the name of self-preservation. The game doesn't shy away from showing us any of this, saying that it's wrong and thus why Roy has to kick some guy's arse. Zephiel knows this, but in Edelgard's case? She's out there fighting for absolute power, destroying anyone who won't bend the knee to her while those who do out of self-preservation like House Gloucester are rewarded for it.

In essence, Edelgard is everything Zephiel saw wrong with the human race, she is why he felt we needed to go extinct. The very things he condemns humanity for are the things she reward. Zephiel would have actually handed over power to those he felt deserved it if he had won, whereas Edelgard is demonstrably shown to hold onto power until near the end of her life. One wants humanity dead, the other wants all the dragons. They even oppose each other in their classes. Edelgard is based on the red emperor archetype, she wears red, her class is the heavily-armored Emperor and her weapon of choice is an axe. Zephiel is a king, armoed but wearing purple and he uses a sword in battle.

Even if they both have screwed up history with their family's due to their father's inability to keep it in his pants, they're both presented as villains despite being ideologically opposed which goes to show with Fire Emblem the method IS the message.

Ancient Wars, Super Powered Weapons and Lies.

War of Heroes vs. The Scouring. The former is an event where the full details are shrouded in mystery, up to the player to piece together the clues and figure out the truth for themselves...or in Crimson Flower's case, ignore the truth and act out in your ignorance.With Binding Blade though, when the truth starts coming out, it hits hard. I mean, right from the beginning of the game we're told man was the one who broke the peace by attacking the dragons, but then we learn that those legendary weapons messed up the environment, resulting in dragons needing to use human forms only to be slaughtered by man. Dragons were blamed for the environment, the people who used those weapons were revered as heroes. We don't know why mankind launched their attack, but we do know that they weren't able to slay the Demon Dragon, one who had her soul destroyed in order to control her, because the Heroes felt sorry for her. It's making dragons out to be the victims here, much like the dragons in Three Houses. But Crimson Flower only serves to demonize them, acting like they can't understand humanity when the dragons in that game are a lot closer to humans emotionally than the ancient dragons in Elibe.

The Elites in comparison weren't heroes, and that lie has been confirmed as Rhea trying to make peace.

The good ending for Binding Blade is being able to save the dragon whose soul was destroyed, whereas Crimson Flower ends with slaying a dragon after you've spent the entire game triggering her (and is the ending that leads to oppressive rule under Edelgard, in addition to the only ending without sunlight. What? You thought you'd get the good ending when her final boss theme was playing on the last stage?). Also, you need all the Legendary weapons in order to unlock the final stages, which all play into the big mystery. Crimson Flower requires the player to not understand that the world-building was done to support fighting against Edelgard instead.

Merits of a leader

Let's not beat around the bush here, Roy will not carry you through Binding Blade. His bases are low, and while he has good growths he is unable to promote until the very end of the game. Even then, you need to save the Binding Blade's usage to ensure you get the good ending. Roy is also very unsure of himself, thrust into a position of leadership despite his young age. But look at what happens when he succeeds, he manages to overcome the odds and take down the mightiest army on the continent. At the end of the game, he's shown himself as more than capable of leading. Not to mention, he also believes that humans and dragons can live together, even seeing this in Acadia (and if Ninian was his mother, he's unknowingly proof of this as he is 1/4 dragon himself. May explain his poor bases). If he marries Liliana, he even becomes a King for likely much of the same reason Byleth does in SS/VW (most leaders are dead following the war, plus combining his territory with Ostia which had already taken over Lyn's land after she abdicated/married Hector). Roy learns the truth as already established.

Compare this to Crimson Flower Byleth. Byleth leads the Black Eagle Strike Force, but credit for it goes to Edelgard. Byleth never gets any recognition for this, no position of authority despite proving themselves, instead that goes to Caspar Jenkins of all people, and ends the war continuing to fight TWSITD from the shadows to support Edelgard's regime. And if you read between the lines, Edelgard is NOT a good leader, resorting to bribes, threats, cronyism, secret police, propaganda, and even TWSITD's support and later stolen tech in order to maintain her rule. Byleth lost whatever emotional development they got from White Clouds during this route, once again becoming the Ashen Demon, and is even willing to let themselves die if they can't keep their “humanity” in check showing a distaste for their own draconic heritage (showing humans and dragons can't live together in this timeline). They didn't grow into being a leader, they devolved into being Edelgard's unthinking muscle. Byleth never learns the truth in this route, falling for Edelgard's manipulations resulting in them losing Enlightened One/Nirvana status.

Not to mention, Heroes Relics have really low weapon levels. In theory, they can be used by anyone but only safely by those with Crests and most fully with a matching Crest. Legendary Weapons, on the other hand, can be used by anyone with an S rank in their type. Your characters have to EARN the right to use those things and you'll need them to deal with all the Manaketes during the final level, whereas Relics aren't exactly that level of broken.

Honestly, seeing the ending of Binding Blade and Idunn recovering put at least one tear in my eye. Crimson Flower's just made me feel like the game was calling me an idiot (which considering the Nirvana/Enlightenment thing, it kinda was). I would love if Binding Blade got the Echoes treatment, or even if they just did a GBA collection for the Switch. But after all these years, one thing is as certain now as it was when I was a kid.

In this house, ROY'S OUR BOY!

[vinylhazza]

ok so we all know that gray rushes/is eager about his relationships, but this time, what if the reader asks him to slow down or something? like she’s just getting started with her degree and she wants to slow down a bit, not rush into things, and eth agrees and gray is finally happy? also sorry if u aren’t taking concepts or requests lol

i feel like...low key....he needs this irl lol

this man doesn’t even have the phrase slow down in his vocabulary so when you say those words, the look of confusion that crossed over his face was to be expected. you knew you would have to spell it out for him, at least slightly. he gets in over his head with every relationship and wonders why they somehow fall apart so soon. some girls fall into that spell: the attractive guy wants me so it must be something real and true and they fall before they ever really form a strong bond, sliding to third base a time or two and tricking themselves into thinking it’s deeper than surface level lust. 

but you, you are not the ‘kick it into high gear’ type of gal and you thought you made that pretty obvious from the start. grayson gets attached easily, we all know that. you take your days one at a time, scope out the pros and cons of every situation. and you know, yeah it might be a trauma response from the countless times people have fucked you over and made you out to be a fool from a very young age, but that same mindset has helped you dodge many bullets over the years.

his first initial infatuation—it’s no different with you, but you are how do you say—hyper aware of his intentions and motives. you’ve been screwed over, toyed with, used your fair share of times and the world be damned to hell if some buff fluffy brown haired boy with amber eyes and a smile that oozes light and happiness comes in treating you like you’re this...lost treasure and you just believe him. believe all of the pretty words, take his hand and follow him into the dark, blindly let yourself love someone again not be sure of what they expect out of the relationship. and damn you if you let him swoop in and carry you off like a princess from a tall tower. like he’s this knight in shining armor. you won’t be fooled by the cloud of attraction and get yourself in too deep before you’re completely on the same page with one another. and first things first; you aren’t someone that needs to be saved, and neither is he.

you understand the puppy love stage of relationships. it’s bound to happen: the subtle obsession with your partner, that new light fuzzy feeling you get thinking about them, thinking of what they might be doing when they’re not with you, if they are thinking about you too, listening to all the sappy love songs and suddenly all you can think about is the color of their eyes after they’ve laughed real hard, the dip in their brow when they are thinking for a long time, the electric feeling that zaps your skin when they touch you, the way their voice lowers two octaves when they lean over and whisper something sweet in your ear, it’s all there for grayson. you know you’re falling in deep, and maybe that’s what scares you. maybe it’s the way you are so willing to trust him early on that leads you to the conversation of slowing things down. for the protection of the both of you, it’s not one sided.

not only had grayson made you feel secure in the very beginning of the sudden relation you had started, but he kept consistent with his actions and words. something that was unusual and strange after dealing with men that never really grew up beyond 16. at the stage of your life you’re in, there isn’t any room for a childish game of tag with a boy who didn’t have any intentions of sticking around in the first place.

you worked hard for everything you had, you always have. your upbringing wasn’t one of sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns. you didn’t have it easy. it wasn’t something that you used to weazle your way out of situations, excuse your occasional bad behavior, but it was something you thought about when you did catch glimpse of your growing attraction to someone. especially grayson, who was...one of the nicest men you had ever met. charming really didn’t even cut it. but just starting on your degree...complicated things. made you really want to reiterate to him that your degree, it was important to you and you fought tooth and nail to be able to even touch a college textbook. you couldn’t be blinded by his charms and be distracted from your dreams. there were times where the world seemed dark and hopeless and with hard work and perseverance you climbed out of that hole, just to stand as the strong intelligent woman he was falling head over heels for. you didn’t get that way over night. and you sure as well weren’t going to screw up your studies because you found someone that maybe wanted to stay, maybe didn’t. if the two of you were to work out and keep developing that beautiful bond - you hoped it would be as a team, one with understanding and clarity.

in your past experience, once a man knows he’s got you hooked, that’s the green light to treat you how they’ve wanted to the entire time. their once soft caress turns possessive, trust turns to assumption and blame, dates grow less and less frequent, and are left to sit and wonder what you ever saw in the first place. tricked, manipulated, and heartbroken. it’s never been honesty, love, and acceptance first. it’s “i love you” and “i care” when their actions don’t support their claims. you promised that the next boy you catches your heartstrings and strums until you’ve fallen under their spell, you would know exactly what you’re falling for. that means taking it slow, knowing what makes grayson tick, what he hates, what he adores, what brings him peace and comfort, if he cries during chick flicks, what kind of person he wants to be remembered as, if he fears the unknown as much as you do, was makes him completely and totally happy, and what infuriates him the fastest of all, what hardships has he had to face alone, what haunts his mind in the dead of night where no one can hear him crying, and what thought makes him smile when he’s doing nothing in particular. for once, just this once, you’re heart longed to know more that what meets the eye. you wanted to know if your feelings were 3 demensional, encompassing the good and bad about grayson, or if you truly just loved the way he fucked you.

but most importantly, you wanted him to know you. know the things about you that most people didn’t have the pleasure of knowing, all while making your dreams come true.

you thought maybe it was a mistake reaching out to ethan in your time of dire need of a shoulder to lean on, but it ended up being just the conversation and pat on the back you needed. the right nudge from the right person to have you sitting down with the softest soul you’ve come to find. grayson wasn’t someone you wanted to hurt, and ethan reassuring you that by talking to him and making him slow down, it would save him from more heartache than anything.

“i think it’s going to mellow him out, actually,” ethan nods along with your words, picking at a stray strand on his pants.

he wants what’s best for his twin, which is the exact reason you wanted to have this conversation with him. you didn’t want to mess something up and be rash and childish before anything real really even started, “grayson doesn’t really do ‘slow’, so this will be good for him.”

“i just don’t want to hurt him you know? i don’t want to be another girl that leaves so suddenly when he gets a bit too much. i know those are special circumstances and he was desperate with the desire of finding that special connection...” a pause to catch your breath, nervous from the vulnerability you’re showing already, “but when i make a commitment, i keep it. i want him to know that. i just want him to be secure within his decision to want...whatever this is with me. i want to be able to know him enough that my feelings for him are justified. and vice versa...i don’t want him to think that because i want to slow down, means i want to stop.”

“he will understand more than you think. if there is one thing i know about him, it’s that he will bend over backwards to make something he wants work. if he really wants you like i know he does, he will slow it down and make sure that you are comfortable. sounds like he doesn’t have much choice.” and it’s nice hearing those words from someone you haven’t gotten the chance to grow all that close with yet. hell you’re not even that close with grayson yet. you’re in the beginning stages still, learning your way around life with him in it. independence has always been one of the things that made you, well, you - and Grayson must understand you need more time before moving forward. 

“really?” your heavy sigh shows your nerves are shot from worrying about not just school, but about the many different outcomes of the talk you need to have with Grayson. it has to happen, but you’ve never been one for confrontation even if it’s ensuring a positive outcome for both parties. 

another shrug with a kind smile from ethan warms your heart, “just talk to him. he’ll appreciate your honesty. most of the other girls got wigged out and dipped, it’s going to mean so much more that you are wanting to stick it out even if it’s going too fast for you right now.”

growing up in a family full of huggers really shows when you step forward to wrap your arms around his waist for a split second, appreciative that he listened to understand and actually help you.

“thank you e, i hope he doesn’t just think i’m trying to make excuses and leave.”

when you pull away he is smiling still, pleasantly surprised by your friendly hug. with a light squeeze to your shoulder and a soft sort of smirk playing on his lips, he gives you just the advice you needed.

“something i’ve learned being his twin; give him a little more credit.”

when  you have that conversation that had you so nervous your stomach tossed and turned all day long, you make sure you’re chanting ethans words over in your head. breathe. it’ll be fine. he will understand. give him a little more credit. he really wants you. the words play like a song through your head as you wait for him to sit back down on the white floral sheet in the softest patch of grass in your backyard. water spills from the glass in his hand as he plops onto the ground in a heap of giggles, muttering “fuck” softly, trying (and failing of course) to wipe the water off of his light blue button up shirt. it’s a good color on him, and you’re momentarily distracted from how attractive he looks in the late afternoon sun. 

when you first met grayson, he had stumbled upon you sitting all by yourself in a small park, book in hand, peach in the other, completely unsuspecting that you would catch his heart captive when you glanced up with a smile that just about made him pass out. you were still surprised months later that he had had the nerve to say a word to you, he looked ill with anxiety to even utter a word. it was a day you’d never forget - and you would try and remember that innocent look in his eye when you explain why you had planned this picnic in the first place. to talk, to listen, to understand. 

you figure if you really want to have the conversation be as smooth as it can be for the both of you, you could take it back to the very start. a simple picnic, with a lot of hope for the future.

after the laughter fit falls down, it’s time to get to the root of the issue. you prepare yourself with a deep breath in, holding in for a few seconds with your eyes closed, then slowly releasing when you look back at the questioning raise of his eyebrows. when he cocks his head to the side, you know it’s now or never. if you don't say it now, you might regret it. 

“I actually brought you here so that we could have a talk real quick,” you finally explain, making sure to maintain eye contact and drink in ever facial expression he may have - just so you know how to go forward. 

“you know you can talk to me about anything, is something wrong?” He’s so soft with the way he talks, never suspecting anything like what he’s about to hear, and it almost hurts to know you’ll be disappointing him in some way. 

“nothing is really wrong...i just think maybe...we should slow it down for a bit.” 

“what do you mean? we just got here,” he chuckles, taking a sip of his water with a shake of his head. not understanding, his fingers fiddle with the fringe at the bottom of your sundress. 

you continue without stopping, ignoring his joke and hopefully make him see you aren’t here to fool around, at least not entirely. it was a serious talk for once and you wanted him to respect what you had to say. 

“-not go so fast we miss the exciting part of getting to know one another,” you carry on to a now confused, sorrowful looking grayson, finally understanding that you weren’t talking so much about the picnic - but the two of you as a whole. 

“i still want this—still want you i mean. but i just...want us to be us for a bit and not worry so much about the next step and then the one after that and the one after that and-” 

he holds his hand up to stop you, cutting you off while looking at the ground deep in thought. setting the water down slowly, he climbs back up to his feet. you watch him patiently while he treads through the clipped grass, knowing he’s trying hard not to overreact and over think. After what feels like eternity, he sits down with his hands hanging off his knees, picking at a blade of grass he’s ripped from the earth beneath him. 

“have i pushed you?” 

sweet boy, always trying to take blame.

with a small smile you shake your head, “you haven’t pushed me at all gray. I just want this to grow - want us to grow. i don’t want you getting in too deep before you’re sure you’re ready for all of the things i’m looking for in the future and likewise.” 

another nod of understanding, he was listening close. his respect for you grow tenfold, you had the courage to not let your lust or even affection cloud your judgement and you were honest with him. something that grayson admired most from anyone he let into his life was honesty. 

“i’m not very good with slow but i’m sure you’re probably right,” he laughs more at himself than anything, “i just get carried away. especially with a woman like you. how couldn’t i?” 

always the flirt. and a good one at that. he always knew exactly what to say to get you blushing, which is exactly why you hide your face bashfully in your shoulder for a few moments before you could look back at him admiring you. 

“I hope you know that this is different though, Y/n. I can’t exactly explain how, but you should know i’ve never felt this way for anyone no matter how many times i’ve tried to convince myself otherwise in the past out of...fear, shame, even guilt. it’s different. and because of that difference, i know i can’t be selfish with you.” 

for once you’re grateful for your mothers voice at the back of your head nudging you to let your heart be open, because without that voice, you would never be sitting in the grass with a man that truly does want to respect your boundaries and looks at you like you’re made of exquisite glass. you wouldn’t have memorized the soft texture of his lips as you lean in to kiss him, or the feeling of his hand cupping your cheek. you wouldn’t know the sound of his relived sigh, or the giggle that breaks the kiss only a few seconds later. and you wouldn’t have the clarity that you so desperately craved. 

if there is one thing you knew for sure it’s that he is telling the truth. his truth shows with the delicate placement of his hands, the soft caress of his thumb on your cheek, his fingers running through your hair, and all the other ways he shows his adoration for you every day that you wish to hold on to forever. you know that the waiting and slow pace will be worth it in the end and the slow burn will turn into the blazing fire that you can already tell shines in his eyes. your hesitation has nothing to do with him but a past you would explain in due time. 

for now, you’d continue kissing him on the sheet that smelt faintly of laundry detergent, in the backyard of your quaint apartment on 26th and Broadway, with his hand in your hair, lips pressed gently against yours, and a whole heart full of hope for a long future of days just like this. 

[itstimetotheorize]

RWBY: Whitleys ultimate decision

Not gonna lie, when we were first introduced to Whitley I did not have a very good opinion of him, but now that we have gotten to know more about him through out the volumes , I am beginning to get the feeling that Whitleys is not just some spoiled rich boy who tries to mirror his evil father. 

In V7C8 when Weiss has a heart to heart with her mother Willow, Willow tells Weiss that no matter what happens with the information she uncovers to fight her father, she needs to remember and watch out for her brother Whitley. 

Weiss does not take this seriously as she believes Whitley hates her and wants nothing to do with her, willow informs Weiss that his hatred for her only stems from the fact that Weiss left Whitley alone with Jacques and herself. 

by willows words, it was clear that she was trying to tell Weiss that Whitley was just as much a victim to their fathers cruelty as she and Winter were when they lived in the mansion. At first, it was a little hard to accept the idea that Whitley was a victim and not just an arrogant little jerk, but after watching Whitleys reaction to seeing his father be arrested 

and then seeing willow look over to him to see how he is holding up with this turn of events,

willows words to Weiss once again came back to mind. As I watch Whitley run up the stairs, unable to cope with the fact that he is now truly alone in the mansion with no one to lean on as he is left with the full responsibility of the schnee dust company, it got me thinking, what if whitley... was never honest with who he was and what he wanted to be rather be the boy and heir his father expected him to be? 

Whitley is the youngest of the Schnee siblings and as such he had no place in the family yet, business wise that is. Over the years, Whitley saw Winter and Weiss both inherit the title of heiress to the schnee dust company and watched them chose to carry out the family name as huntresses. Their decisions none the less angered their father who only wanted them to be obedient daughters who would do everything he asked and be nothing more than pretty young ladies with the title of heiress. 

With winter and weiss bonding over their chosen careers as huntresses and looking to each other for moral support during their tough childhood with their family, whitely became isolated from the sibling circle that he was once a part of before his mother became an alcoholic and before his father revealed his true colors. Over the years, when winter chose to leave the family and join the military, Weiss became the new heiress and chose to stick to her plan of becoming a huntress and leave for beacon. In those years, Whitley continued to find himself all alone in the mansion with no one to lean on. When it came to deciding who he should be around, be it his depressed alcoholic mother or cruel over bearing father,

whitley was left with no other choice but to be around Jacques for most of his life in order to at least have someone show interest in him.

 With Whitley being around their father so much, Jacques tried to make sure that he had a tighter leash around Whitley than what he previously had with his sisters by exposing him to his negative views on huntsman/huntresses and displaying his anger towards Weiss and Winters decision to stray from home. All this exposure to his fathers rage and having no one left to be around, Whitley tried to do anything and everything to stay on his fathers good side and be viewed as his favorite. Over the course of the RWBY series, It really seemed as though Jacques had a tight grip on Whitely as he attempted to make him the spitting image of himself. However! as Willow now clearly states to Weiss and the rest of the fanbase, Jacqueses hold over Whitley... is not as strong as he thinks it is.

 What does this mean?... it means that up to this point, whitely has only ever sided with Jacques because he has no other options , but... what if... whitely was given a new choice, a chance to break free from his father and the schnee life altogether, but who would possibly give him this chance?... why, Weiss of course! but if the chance presented itself would Whitley even take it?, would he be willing to trust Weiss?...perhaps

Back in V4C9 when Weiss was practicing her summoning, whitely interrupts her to tell her that he is leaving with their father to meet some business partners,

 Weiss, trying to understand the root of his hatred, questions him on whether or not his hatred for her and winter lies from hidden jealously of their abilities? Whitely ponders over her question but replies with a “no”, saying that such abilities are beneath him and are in turn barbaric . When Whitely says this, its possible that he was simply holding back the truth, the answer he gave Weiss may not have actually been his, but rather his fathers, had he been asked the same question. The truth of this could be that Whitely really was jealous! jealous of his sisters bond, jealous of their willingness to go against their father together, jealous of their willingness to leave the schnee family and jealous of their decisions to follow their dreams and be who they wanted to be rather than be what their father expected them to be. 

Perhaps Whitley had dreams and desires similar to Winter and Weiss, perhaps Whitley even had dreams of being a huntsmen himself with a a desire to explore Remnant and a desire to be included in his sisters loving and supporting inner circle. 

Heck, they could have all gained this similar dream by looking at the only good parental figure in their lives, Nicholas Schnee. 

Winter and Weiss must have gotten the idea to be huntresses from somewhere, and if we look at the type of person Nicholas was, its possible that his life story had an impact on their lives. Nicholas was a courageous man who fought for the good of his company and his employees, making him the ideal role model for the schnee siblings to be inspired by.

 If so, then perhaps it really was because of him and his daringness to do what others wouldn't that ultimately lead winter and Weiss to choose to be huntresses. If this is true for winter and Weiss then its likely Whitley also wanted to pursue a life similar to his grandfather when he was a little kid, sadly, judging by how the schnee siblings childhoods was like,  Whitley might’ve given up on his dreams when he realized he had no support and encouragement from anyone, let alone Weiss and winter who only looked to support each other. However! with everything that has happened in volume 8, maybe Whitley will finally be given that chance he never had. 

 In volume 8, Weiss and the others have no other choice but to take refuge in the schnee mansion until Nora recovers. Despite Whitley's willingness to do what Weiss asks of him after she explains her situation and only needing to stay for a short period of time

 Weiss instead gives him the cold shoulder and tells him to go to his room and not interrupt them,

 despite Weisses cold attitude towards whitely, the night that they spend in the mansion may finally give her the idea that she should take into consideration  Whitley's well being. Weiss already lost winter to ironwood, and with everything that's happening she may finally realize that she cant lose her only brother to their fathers cruel way of life. 

If Weiss were to offer whitely her hand and a chance to leave the mansion along with them, to abandon their fathers way of life and give him the chance to decide for himself who he wants to be just like how she and winter did, then perhaps this could finally bring about a much needed change in the family name. But wait, if all three children of the schnee family left, who would carry out the family business?...why, Willow of course. Despite Willows complicated life, we know that she used to be very loving and caring towards her children.

and despite her toxic relationship with Jacques and her continued alcoholism, Willow still held onto her motherly desires of wanting what's best for her children, in V7C8 when Weiss told her that she was not planning to return to the family, we see willow cry with a smile on her face, happy to know that her daughter is strong enough to not return to a house filled with a life of abuse.

If whitely really does decide to leave that abusive life along with Weiss, then its likely willow will  also happily accept her sons decision, in fact, it wouldn't surprise me if willow had already packed a suitcase for Whitley on the off chance that he did decide to leave one day. With her husband in jail, and her children having all decided to leave their fathers toxic way of life in order to rebuild the schnee name on their own, maybe willow will finally have some peace of mind and start repairing her own life.

all that remains now, is to wait and see if Weiss is willing to make the first step in repairing her broken family by going up to Whitley and having the heart to heart chat he had been deprived of his entire life. But hey that's just a theory, a RWBY theory !

[sunsetinmyvein]

You Better Keep Your Mouth Shut

A fic for someone other than Matty? Miraculous, I know. Thanks for adding some diversity to the mix @robinrunsfiction​ with your request from the prompt list. :P

Why were family events so awkward and stifled? Was it just a prerequisite of getting together with extended family that by default there had to be repeated pleasantries, uncomfortable questions and weird plus ones? Or was that just my family? Thanksgiving was never fun for this exact reason. The food was nice, but having to mentally prepare for at least three days prior for my aunt’s annoying speeches about what she had already accomplished by the time she was my age was not. But it was only once a year. I only had to grin and bear this for just twelve hours, once a year. I could do that. The best bit of this whole weird gathering was that my sister had decided she required a plus one this year. Apparently, she was fed up of the berating from our grandparents about when she was going to get a stable boyfriend, so she had dragged some poor outsider into this mess. However, that outsider happened to be someone that I already knew. Instead of choosing someone from her own social circle (she thought our parents might get suspicious if it was someone that they had already met), she chose someone from mine. Spencer was my best friend, and she had decided to “date” one of his good friends, Ryan.  

 It was pretty obvious that they weren’t actually dating. They were overdoing it. The constant hand holding, the sappy remarks, the sweet smiles - it was sickening. Anyone who was paying attention would be able to notice that all of this intimacy was entirely surface level. There were no stories about how they met, no retelling of funny dates, no actual kisses exchanged. My family seemed to buy it, but I wasn’t. I knew full well Spencer would’ve told me if Ryan started dating my sister. But it definitely gave the extended family something new to discuss and fuss over. I’d only met this guy a handful of times in passing over the years and he seemed fairly reserved from what I had seen. Spencer usually talked highly of him. But here he was, fake dating my sister and trying to charm a family that wasn’t his own. The whole charade was leaving a bitter taste. My family were shitty to deal with, sure, but it was still pretty underhanded to deceive them like this. I thought better of my sister than to pull a stunt like this, and I thought Spencer kept better friends than this, too. Apparently not.

  “What do you do for work, Ryan?” I heard my dad ask as I tuned back in to the dinner conversation.

“Yes, Ross. Enlighten us.” I chimed in, putting my phone down to hear his answer. I had been texting Spencer to ask if he knew about this or not (he didn’t), and to cross check what Ryan was saying. So far, everything he’d said tonight had been a lie. Where his family lived, what he was studying, he was painting the picture of a perfect boyfriend.

“Is there a reason you never say my first name?” He asked with a frown.

“Well, from the brief time that I’ve known you, I just don’t think that we’re familiar enough to be on a first name basis.” I answered with a fake smile.

“He’s your sister’s boyfriend!” My mother chastised.

“Well, he should act more like it then.” I muttered under my breath.

“What?”

“Nothing.” I quickly dismissed. “So?” I asked, turning back to Ryan.

  “I’m an intern at a law firm.” He absolutely was fucking not.

“Oh, that’s good!” My uncle beamed. “Must be lining you up for a good paying job?”

“Yeah, I hope so!” The dark-haired boy laughed nervously.

“What firm are you at?” Now this was going to be interesting.

“Uh…” His wide-eyed floundering made it clear that he hadn’t been prepared with details to support his lie. Thankfully, my sister quickly came to his aid and rattled off some firm that she had heard of. Good save.

“That’s a really good place. They’ll set you up well to take care my little niece here.” He said as he placed an affectionate hand on said niece’s shoulder.

“Only the best for my love.” Gross. I needed to get some air or I was going to throw up all my turkey from how soppy that was.

“I need a drink.” I sighed, excusing myself from the table.

  Sure enough, as soon as I started pouring something into my glass, Ryan walked into the kitchen too. I couldn’t even get one moment of peace this evening. Great. He wandered aimlessly around the room, opening a few cupboards before turning to me.

“Hey, where’s the-”

“You’re not in love with her, are you?” I interrupted.

“I, uh… Yeah, I am.” He tried his best to defend himself, while also vehemently avoiding my gaze.

“No, you’re not.” I said, shaking my head.

He cleared his throat and glanced at the doorway before speaking, “What makes you say that?”

“I know my sister well enough to see when she’s faking it.” I answered simply.

He let out a long sigh, looking torn about whether or not to admit it. “Look, could you just keep this between us?” He said eventually.

“Why would I? What’s in it for me?” I scoffed as I kept making my drink.

  “I dunno. I’ll give you fifty bucks or something.” He said with a shrug.

“You’re trying to bribe me for my silence?” I laughed loudly; Ryan quickly shushed me in response.

“No, I- ugh. What do you want?” He grumbled in frustration. “Can’t you just drop it?”

“Why are you even doing this?” I frowned, dodging his question. “Actually, never mind, do I even want to know?” I added as I placed the tonic water back in the fridge.

“I offered to do it as a favour when she suggested asking someone.” He replied, still looking around the kitchen for whatever he was after.

“You instigated this?” I asked in surprise.

“Yes. To help your sister out.” He said with a nod. Hm. I supposed maybe he wasn’t such an asshole after all. “Got it!” He said, proudly holding a jar of relish as he left the kitchen.

  As expected, the silence was short lived. When Ryan left, my mother came in looking like she was on a mission.

“What’ve you got against that boy?” She asked in a stern tone as I poured the gin into my drink.

“I just don’t think he’s good for her, is all.” I answered vaguely.

“Why?” She interrogated. I shrugged, but apparently that answer wasn’t good enough. “Why?” She repeated.

“They don’t seem like they’ll be together long.” I tried my best to dodge her question. She stared at me for a long moment before deciding that was acceptable. And thankfully she dropped the topic before I spoke on it any further.

“Can you bring the pie in with you?” She asked sweetly as she grabbed a stack of dessert plates.

“Sure.” I mumbled as she walked out. Before I even moved to grab the pie, I poured myself a straight shot of the gin. I was going to need something strong to get through this evening.

  By the time I finally came back into the room, Ryan was in the middle of regaling some story to try and get my family to like him more. But it was only a matter of time before he put his foot in it. “I was at practice the other day-”

“Practice?” My dad asked in curiosity.

“Band-” He realised what he’d said as soon as the word left his lips. But he’d said it now, there was no taking it back. “Band practice, yeah.” He admitted sheepishly. I saw my uncle share a look with my dad over this new information. A junior lawyer in a band? They were right to be suspicious.

“You’re in a band?” My sister gawked. She didn’t even know he was in a band with Spencer! What, had they exchanged all of five sentences before tonight?

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I could put you on the guestlist one night, if you’d like?” He offered with a smile.

“I’d like that.” I piped up.

“Oh, I… Yeah… Okay.” He stumbled, looking like he hadn’t expected me to take him up on that. Maybe it was the gin going to my head, but I suspected maybe I could have a little fun with this to make tonight a bit more interesting.

  The drinks did indeed make things much easier. They also made a lot of this funnier. I watched Ryan and my sister fawning over each other during dessert, and it was no longer gross, now it was just humorous. After my dad cleared away the plates, they were exchanging romantic comments and staring at each other wistfully.

“Gosh, when’s that gonna happen for me?” I asked with a faux dreamy expression.

“Huh?” Ryan asked in confusion.

“When will I land myself a boyfriend like you?” I elaborated.

“Maybe if you had kept your last job you might’ve met someone there.” I heard my aunt say. But her passive aggressive comments weren’t going to sway me this time.

“It’s a shame Ryan isn’t single.” I pouted. Ryan choked on his drink as I said it, instantly spluttering all over the table. He excused himself and ducked to the bathroom, leaving me trying very hard to not break into hysterics. I suspected I hadn’t been too far off the mark when I picked him to be quite shy, because it seemed that legitimate flirting (not fake flirting) was something he couldn’t handle.

  It was pretty easy to carry on like that once I got the ball rolling. And by some stroke of dumb luck, my parents saw it as me warming up to Ryan rather than me messing with him. Whenever the night was nearing its end, I kicked Ryan’s shin under the table to catch his attention. He looked over at me with an exasperated expression, obviously fed up of having to tolerate my antics.

I leant in before speaking, making sure I had his full attention, “I really, really want to kiss you right now.” I said quietly.

His eyebrows shot up in shock, his mouth opening and closing a few times while he clearly tried to think of what to respond. “I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic.” He eventually settled on. I just shrugged. “Why would you want to?” He questioned.

“To start drama.” I chuckled.

“Do you do this stuff at all of your family events?” He asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Only the boring ones.” I grinned.

“Remind me to never help your sister out again.” He sighed as he turned back to the conversation happening on the other side of the table.

  My fun didn’t last too much longer after that. The sun had well and truly set, and people wanted to get home, which was my cue to leave. I wasn’t going to hang around here longer than I was obligated to. Once everyone had grabbed their leftovers and sorted themselves out, we were left with the awkward goodbyes on the driveway.

“It’s been a great evening.” I said, before grinning in Ryan’s direction.

“It’s been… an evening.” Ryan sighed.

“Aw, you didn’t have fun?” I asked with a laugh.

“Lovely to see you!” My uncle said, cutting my teasing off as he and my aunt exchanged their parting pleasantries.

“We’ll have to do this again sometime.” I said as I opened my car door. Ryan gave me a look like he’d sooner pass out before stepping foot into this house again.

[witchsheartheadcanons]

Mansion squad x terminally ill reader

"the boys reacting to their terminally ill s/o confessing their love during their last moments? thank you"

The pain...

Wilardo

· He knows that you would die before him, sick or not. So, he did his best to stay emotionally disconnected from you.

· Yet he still is there for you, giving you his support every step of the way

· He was with you in your last moments, and you confess to him

· He is conflicted to answer you

· He knows what he wants to say: That he can't accept your feelings. But deep down, he knows that is just a mask to cover up how he truly feels

· He is terrified to say it out loud, because he knows if he did, he wouldn't be able to go back.

· Unknown to you, he had deeply loved you, and was silently suffering watching you in your illness all this time. Keeping his feeling bottled up is what kept him from just breaking down. But here you were now, moments from death, just wanting to hear those words he feared so much to say.

· But he said them anyway.

· "I love you to, more than anything..." his voice cracks as he says it.

· You don't respond, just smile as you close your eyes and fade away

· The tears are already running down his face. You are gone. He feels all the emotions hitting him like a ton of bricks. It hurts.

· It hurts so damn bad.

· But he looks to your face, the smile still lingering.

· It was worth it.

Sirius

· No, not again, he was NOT going to go through this again.

· He was already in the denial stage of greif, but could you blame him

· He avoided visiting you in the hospital as much as he could. Every time he saw you sick, he knew the what was going to come, and he couldn't stand the thought of it.

· It wasn't until Claire knew your time was getting close, and dragged Sirius to see you.

· She left the two of you alone, and you confessed how much you loved him.

· Sirius broke

· All he could do was sob at your side. He loved you so much as well, it was all just too much for him.

· He begged you to stay with him, begged you not to leave, he clung to you as if he held tight enough, you would stay with him.

· But that's not how life worked.

· You were happy he reciprocated your feelings, but you also understood why he never came before. The special before you was that of a desperate man, clinging to the most important thing to him. He was reliving the loss of Lady Dorothy, but this was much worse.

· You felt terrible that you were the cause of so much pain, but there was nothing you could do as you clung to Sirius as you took your final breath.

· He fell to pieces shortly after.

· He was enraged and lashed out at the doctors and nurses for not trying harder to save you, he lashed out at everyone really.

· After that He shut himself in the mansion, kicked everyone else out, and he never left the mansion, no one saw him again.

Noel

· He was the calmest of the four, staying at your side, helping you with everything you needed.

· He knew the time you had together was limited, so he was going to do whatever he needed to make you happy, he wanted to have no regrets.

· When the time had come, and you felt yourself getting weaker, you confessed to him

· Noel felt the same, and told you how much he loved you with a gentle smile. He wasn't going to show how much pain he was truly in to you. He didn't want you to be sad ether.

· He gently kissed you, and the last thing you saw was Noel lovingly smiling down at you.

· He felt your grip in his hand weaken, and the light in your eyes, and he slowly closed his eyes, tears falling down his cheeks.

· Now he was allowed to break, as long as you never saw it, he had no regrets. He went back to his room in the mansion and silently cried himself to sleep.

· He knew that you wished for him to live a happy life, so he tried his best to move on. He pushed himself to socialize, to pretend to be happy. He did his best to pretend nothing was wrong.

· Why wouldn't the pain just go away? Why did it linger in his heart? It hurt so much.

· Isn't this what you wanted? For him to be happy right? But he can't do that without you.

· There was nothing he could do, but hope that time can heal this wound.

Ashe

· Out of all the men in the mansion, he deals with it the worst

· He studies both medicine and witchcraft alike in a desperate attempt to save you

· You were the last thing he truly loves, it'd be over his dead body that you'd die on him

· Sadly though, that is exactly what happens

· You confess how much you truly love him, and thank him for all he did to try to save you, but now it was time for him to let you go.

· He wasn't having it

· Like Sirius, he begged you to hold on just a bit longer.

· He could save you, he just needed a few more days.

· You just smiled sadly at him, before thanking him once more. You embrace him tightly, and he kisses you passionately, wanting the moment to never end.

· You both held each other.

· Then, he held you

· He held you for hours.

· He carried you from the hospital, and held you for days.

· No one knows exactly when you died, just that you died in his arms, and he would never let go.

· He went home, locked the door, and played down with you in his arms.

· It was all hopeless.

· He couldn't save you

· He couldn't bring you back

· He failed you

· He failed Lillia

· He failed his Mother

· He failed his father

· He failed everyone.

· They were all gone

· There was nothing he could do.

· No

· There was one thing he could do.

· ...

· Laying in the bed, with you in his arms, he heard the screams of his panicked neighbors outside. But they were irrelevant

· Your face was so beautiful... illuminated by the flames.

· He would see that beautiful face again soon, smiling at him, along with his family.

· You would all be happy together.

· ...

· No one knew what has happened, an oil lamp had been knocked over. But was it really an accident?

· It didn't matter now though did it? There was nothing left of the house, and Ashe and you, were nothing but ashes.

· All they could hope, was that you were all at peace now.

[kyousei-archive]

unmasked

    A headcanon as to what Kakuzu’s life was before recruitment into the Akatsuki. Please keep in mind this background will heavily influence my interpretation of Kakuzu’s character and make personal relationships with him more than just difficult!

    Tanned skin, dark eyes. Brunette. She was tiny, at least in comparison to him. Unassuming and normal all things considered.

    – But, god, she was beautiful.

    Perhaps it was her smile that had captured him at first, or that even, tranquil personality that had tamed the most fearsome temperament in all of Takigakure. He’d been young then, a mere Chuunin destined for great things – headed for the Council to bring their country to peace. However, seeing how easily that man could fly into a fit of rage… any sort of idea like that would be a long time coming.

    His former squad had all been killed and friends had been hard to come by. Takigakure was poor, horribly so. Even their most capable warriors, their Elders and Council members – they could only grasp for anything to keep them afloat, often resorting to testing their own morals in order to survive. Family killing family, friends turning against friends. It wasn’t capable of fazing him any longer. His own mother and father had been swiped clean off the face of the earth, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t deal with.

    Perhaps that had been why he had always seen himself more as a Doton user, instead of the affinity for water that he was in possession of. Stone was hard, immovable. It was like him. Cold one moment and burning like magma the next. Kakuzu wasn’t water. He wasn’t tranquil or beautiful. In fact, he was rather scarred and gruff looking.

    It had always been like that. He’d been given a strong jaw from his father, broad shoulders and a built chest. Though it had always been his eyes that had scared people off the quickest. It hadn’t been his quick temper or his appearance, no… His eyes were unique in Taki, mint and maroon and harsh. It wasn’t rare for a single glance to send others running.

    Not her. Certainly not her.

    The library, as strange as it sounded, had always been a place of peace for the Chuunin. He could read and learn about the history of his village, about the beastly Choumei that had once plagued this land. It was relaxing, a welcomed silence from the blood and gore he had been forced to endure day after day protecting his village.

    Though there had been one time his peace had undoubtedly turned on its head… A quiet day, just like any other, that those strange eyes had taken advantage of by drinking in information from dusty scrolls and thick manuscripts.

    “They’re pretty.”

    He’d jolted, not expecting a voice from someone he hadn’t sensed approached. Eyes had blinked once, twice, three times upon sitting fully upright, and his upper body turned toward the visitor that had interrupted his silence. Kiyomi. He would have never guessed exactly what the future would hold for them back then. At the time, he’d simply thought of it as an annoyance.

    Kakuzu was silent, tanned lips pulling into a small frown as brows knit beneath his headband. What had she been talking about..?

    “Your eyes, I mean. I’ve never seen anything like them.”

    Maybe it was then that she’d completely captured his attention, especially after that miniscule smile that had accompanied her words. Kiyomi was a civilian nowhere near any sort of match for the shinobi, but still brave enough to approach him in his time of solace. – Or maybe she didn’t know. He hadn’t been certain at the time which he would have liked better. Nor would he really ever be certain.

    Everything had seemed like such a blur from there. They’d gotten closer, able to call each other friends, and closer still. His temper that had once been known throughout all of Takigakure had all but vanished. Kakuzu had been well-mannered, irritable, but still capable of reeling in the beast that had once constituted his personality. If only for her.

    He could have broken her without a second thought, as he had done to many in the past who had gone against him. And yet... he didn’t. She had made him happy – an emotion that few hidden among the waterfalls could say they had truly experienced.

    Kakuzu had been able to make due supporting two. Extra missions here and there to make up for what she couldn’t had been enough then. He’d been thankful for the minor increase in salary with his promotion to Jounin. There had been one moment, though, that had sent his world to a screeching halt.

    “I’m pregnant.”

    He’d almost spat out his drink with the sudden information, eyes immediately falling to her stomach. Kiyomi’s belly had looked fine; there was no swell beneath her clothing, nothing at all that could have said that she was carrying a life inside of her. “—Shit.”

    She had laughed at his reaction, had told him not to worry. He listened, saving every last scrap of worth that he had come into contact with for the next nine months. A family of three was a number that he could handle, which he did for quite some time. She had given him a little girl, a bundled gift that was the striking image of her mother. Thankfully. They named her Kishiko.

    Four, however, was a number that weighed heavily on his shoulders. Again they were graced with one more addition to the family, a stocky boy named Hayase that seemed a combination of his parents. He had his mother’s eyes.

    Mission after mission after mission had run the Jounin dry. Every spark of energy had been given to keep his small corner of the world afloat, but still he could call himself happy. They were content with what they had and grateful for every moment that Kakuzu was able to spend at home. Stress had given the shinobi a harsher stare and a perpetual frown. But still, she loved him.

    There had been a single request from Takigakure’s finest warrior to the Village Council: to keep the stress of his work away from his family. They had listened for the most part, that is… Until the group of four had visited the small home on the outskirts of the village.

                                                   We have an assignment for you.

    The knock on the door had been unexpected, even somewhat strange. Visitors to the household were all but nonexistent; no one dared to traverse this far out of the village simply to meet the one person who wouldn’t give them a welcome. His temper had changed, yes, but the way he acted in the face of annoyances was a different story. Kakuzu remained hostile to all that did not reside in his home, presenting a silent anger to all those he stood against. There had always seemed an air about him that churned and roared silently to itself, storming against the impending battles that were sure to come.

    Until those eyes she had commented on all those years ago fell back to her. That typhoon fell into a quiet breeze that simply rippled against his thoughts. – Like water. It had been her and those brats that had turned the stone to liquid, like alchemists trying to turn granite to gold, only to fail and end up with mud.

    Door having been thrown open, the last people that the Jounin had any expectation of visiting had interrupted him, had come to his home with the explicit request to stay away. How arrogant those fools were, hiding behind their masks as if their military status gave them any real power. He could have ripped them all in half before they could blink.

                                                  “We have an assignment for you.”

    An assignment, Kakuzu soon realized, that would change the entirety of Takigakure forever if it was successful. It would have put his name in the history books that he adored and lost himself in. The killer of the first Hokage: Senju Hashirama.

    The world was at war with one another and the surrounding waterfalls appeared to be in the center of it. Borders had been held firm against the Great Nations attempting to take Takigakure for its own, a massive feat for such a small and poor country. It was only logical to remove the biggest obstacle in the way of the Council’s goals. If Konoha fell due to the actions of their strongest Jounin, reason stated that the Shinobi War would crumble and the Five Great Elemental Nations along with it.

   No one would see the spec of a country rising to power in their calculations. The balance would be shifted.

    It could end.

    Promises had been made to the Jounin as his assignment had been laid out for him. His family would be kept safe and out of harm’s way and the funds that he so desperately needed to keep them stable would be given without further question. They already knew what he wanted out of this and had dangled it in front of him like a carrot to a starving horse. It would benefit not only himself, but the livelihood of those he held so dear in ways that he would not be able to do for them otherwise. There had been only a small moment’s thought before Kakuzu accepted.

    Kiyomi begged him not to.

    It would only be later that the understanding of what he had to overcome in order to complete his mission would dawn on Kakuzu’s shoulders. This was a gamble he was nowhere near powerful enough to partake in, a gamble he’d been unknowingly led into with honey-laced words and ideals of grandeur.

    – And so he left.

    Senju Hashirama was a powerful leader of his country, stronger than even that of the famed Uchiha Madara. To be the master of two opposing forces, of both the ground and the sea… It took control and precision that would have been incomprehensible to someone that had only heard of the great Hokage. It was Kakuzu himself that had been forced to endure it.

    Defeat had only been expected, but the remainder of his life… That was something that had not been put into his calculations. Takigakure was strict and ruthless; every shinobi of the village knew that without a doubt. He had expected humiliation and being stripped of his title. Exile and public execution were not out of the question either.

    It had been the imprisonment of his family, of his wife and children that had taken him off guard. News of his failure had rippled through the village like water drops from the countless falls that dotted through the village before he had even returned. He had discovered his home burned to the ground, belongings lost to the flame as injuries that covered his body turned tanned skin a dirty crimson.

         They were safe.

                   They had to be.

    The beginning stages of panic and anger began to set in, energy drained limbs having blood stained fingers curled into tight fists. He had begun to tremble with a rage that hadn’t been allowed to let loose in years, lips pulling into a tight line and brows furrowing. Chakra was already dangerously low, yet as the silent orders from the Council were brought into effect Kakuzu was still capable of fighting off many of those Jounin he had once considered allies.

    Bones cracked and blood stained the grass on his feet, yells of fury overtaking the clearing as his vision turned red.

         They were safe.

                   They were safe.

                           They were safe.

    The constant reminder, no matter how small of a shred of hope it had been, wasn’t enough to pull him into a state of control. He fought and fought until eyes began to blur, movements becoming sluggish as exhaustion began to catch up with his body and mind.

    Having been overpowered at last, he had no choice but to be forced into a state of submission; head bowed to the ground and arms twisted behind him. Kakuzu found his chest heaving for air, heart pounding against his rib cage at even the mere prospect of the three most important people in his life being harmed because of his failure.

    The Takigakure prison was where those traitors were kept, cuffed and kept in cells like animals to await their fate. He was no different, guards standing on either side of the expanse of bars that kept him contained in the small area he was allowed. How pathetic…

    – But he needed to remain in control. For them.

    It smelled of sins and traitors in there, an indescribable smell that burned at his senses and tore at the guilt buried deep in his gut. He had been too weak to follow through with his orders and the consequences had been accepted. Marks of traitors were tattooed into his forearms, four bands that he had found himself counting until his time was up.

    Only the promise of their safety, the thought of them smiling had kept the beast of Takigakure at bay – for now. His eyes had sunken in after days of neglect, head bowed forward with locks of dirty brown obscuring his features. Hands had been secured behind his back but no attempt to escape from them had been made. He had merely sat, quietly, for hours upon hours. Reactions had tried to be pulled from him time and time again by the guards poking and prodding him with humiliating words, yet only a deep growl had been heard from the monster.

    Three days had passed before he had moved, head lifting slowly with the instinct that something was wrong. Something was incredibly wrong. The guards had been talking among themselves as if their prisoner couldn’t hear, complaining about a public execution that they would miss. A woman. Two children; a boy and a girl.

    He had felt his heart drop into his gut, denial washing through his nervous system in a flood. – But he knew. Those in association with traitors would be treated as traitors. Kakuzu’s wife and children would be murdered in cold blood in front of their village – the village that he had been loyal to and followed without question. Until now. No longer would he allow himself to be seen as a shinobi from this village.

    The Council would no longer dangle promises of safety and prosperity in front of him. Their hearts would be in his hands.

    It had started as a quiet fury, the waves of chakra pouring from his body like water from the falls having stunned the guards into silence. It grew swiftly, the red returning to his vision that he hadn’t truly seen in many years. The village had forgotten how fearsome their most powerful warrior could be when enraged beyond control; they would soon be reminded why they had feared him in the beginning.

    Had that sound been him? It couldn’t have been. The noise that reached his ears must have been made by that of a monster, a terrifying roar that shuddered through him, trembling against the walls of his jail cell and into the very cores of those who were assigned to guard him. The memories of what had happened next would never truly be remembered in full detail; the fury that bubbled through his veins had blocked his senses in full.

    There had been faint flashes of crimson, the scent of blood mingling through the air as each and every occupant of that prison had been ripped to pieces -- guards and their charges alike. He remembered the sounds of bones cracking, of stone crumbling under the force of his hands and the screams of those who begged for their lives. What right did they have to survive? This village had taken everything from him; they had taken his past, his present and his future in a single moment of trying to prove their superiority over the rest.

    His hands had been stained red before the prison fell silent of the carnage, trembling breaths from his remaining anger the only sound heard.

    But he could not stop. He ran until his muscles burned, every muscle aching in his body until Kakuzu’s only energy was a will to continue. Yet as the executioner’s clearing came into view all his eyes could focus on were shapes his mind refused to correlate to his family.

    Bodies, three of them. Blood, pooled and saturated into the ground.

    Kakuzu’s knees buckled underneath him.

    Not a sound broke through the clearing. Silence buzzed in his ears until the noise felt like it began reverberating into his limbs, and finally into his chest.

    The sun had long since fallen before he could rise.

    The village had taken everything from him, so he would take everything from them. Only the most highly regarded shinobi of this country knew of their most prized technique; it was forbidden and dangerous. Kakuzu had read about it once, of the fearsome power of stealing the hearts of enemies to take their chakra and prolong a lifespan.

     What a fitting end it would be for those fools. Those fools that had thought a warrior with everything to lose would be weak once it was lost.

     No, they would discover that a warrior who had lost everything would sooner cut his own throat than lay down and accept that fate.

     He didn’t care about the blood that had caked his clothes or his skin; his only goal was finding that scroll. The secret archives were no more secret than they were well-guarded. It seemed only the fear of discovery was what had kept thieves at bay, but his goal was clear. Whomever had found enough bravery within them to step before this monstrous beast was disposed of without a thought.

    What he had not expected, however, was the pain. There was no wonder in Kakuzu’s mind why this was classified as a forbidden technique. The agony that had ripped through every muscle fiber was not of a normal scale. Only those with enough will in their bones and strength in their mind would be able to endure it.

    Skin had been forced away from underlying flesh, torn and sewn back together by black tendrils that seemed to have a mind of their own. Muscle was gouged and replaced with the living threads to act as tendons and nerves. They had fully incorporated themselves into his body, leaving him weak and suffering both mentally and physically.

    What would she have thought..? Bloody wounds now crossed back and forth against the skin she had loved to trail her fingers over. Kakuzu had become marred and ugly, a monster in every shape and aspect. It was Takigakure’s fault for bringing him to this point, for making him finally snap against their overwhelming rule. Each of them would suffer for their crimes against him, of their tyranny and iron fists.

    He imagined their screams for mercy were the same as hers before her execution, the same as his children’s cries for help as their mother was slaughtered in front of them. These four would receive the same treatment. Four lives had been ruined by these four masked figures, one mask for each of them.

    Still beating hearts had been ripped from their chests, newly acquired tendrils strangling each of the Council members ruthlessly until death itself happily took them into its arms.

    Their hearts would be in his hands.

    He felt no remorse for the poor souls that discovered the carnage the next morning, the sight of their leaders ripped limb from limb until they were hardly recognizable. Their masks had been taken and stitched to the very back of the man that had killed them.

    They would be forced to watch the trail behind the monster they had created.