#he’s such a soppy mare the poor thing

[moominmammaonheroin]

Back in with the archives

[emily-strange]

Growing Pains...

Summary: Emmy has been with the gang since she was a little girl. Her mother moved on, leaving her to be raised by Dutch, Hosea and Susan. Arthur and John are her brothers (argue and she will fight you). Becoming a woman is hard when everyone still sees you as a child. Since the Blackwater mess she’s trying to find her feet while dealing with her new feelings for the gangs resident douchebag.

Tagging @strwxberrymilk and @porkchop-ao3 but if you’d like to stop being tagged just let me know! :) Also if anyone else would like to be tagged just say the word xx

Pairing: Slow burn Micah x female OC.

Warnings: Swearing, mention of vomit.

Chapter 13

We ride in silence for about an hour. I just enjoy the breeze on my face and the wind in my hair. The camp feels so suffocating right now but despite all that, I love living free. As John always put it.

I hear Arthur’s mare huff behind me so I decide to pull off the road into a wide field. No reason to take my anger out on the poor horse! I dismount Jett and hitch her to a tree. She’s soon joined by Arthur’s speckled beauty.

Arthur clears his throat and I only just keep the scoff to myself; he’s never been good with emotions. When I turn to look at him, he’s tearing an old shirt from his saddle bags into large strips. This is what he used to do. He’d tie scraps of fabric to low hanging branches and I’d try to shoot said branch off. It’s helpful when you don’t have any empty bottles to hand.

He walks into the field towards a tree and I take a moment to slow my thoughts down. I’ve never felt weird around Arthur. From day one he made me feel safe. I want that back. I’d give anything to not know what he did but that’s not going to happen so….

“Alright. Wanna try fer the biggest piece first?” Arthur gruffs when he gets back to me. I take my gun out of my bag and check that it’s properly loaded. I stand, aim….and miss.

“Yer too tense” Arthur says quietly and this time I do let the scoff out.

“Wonder why that is” I snap back but instantly regret it. We’ll get no where if I’m like this.

I see Arthur nod out of the corner of my eye but his hat obscures his face. He comes over to me and ever so gently touches my arms to reposition me. Too gently.

“I won’t break. You don’t have to treat me like a china doll.” I snap again. God this is going to be harder than I thought.

Arthur sighs, “Yeh….yeh I know….Emmy, I….” but I spin round to face him, cutting him off.

“I’m so fucking mad at you Arthur” I say. Not quite loud enough to yell, but loud enough to make his eyes snap up to mine. I’m trying desperately not to cry, but seeing how tired and defeated he looks just breaks my heart. As does my own anger at him. Part of me is glad he looks so sad. “You know Arthur, you know what he was.”

“Can we…can we put the gun away fer this Em?” Arthur says quietly, with no humour whatsoever.

“If I wanted you dead Arthur, you’d be dead” I reply angrily but put the safety on my gun before putting it away.

Arthur does take a moment to laugh at that, “Oh I don’t doubt it….you had newspaper clippings of Black Belle all over yer wall as a kid. Yer ‘member that?”

And despite my anger, I smile. Taking a moment to wipe at my eyes. I take a deep breath and step closer to Arthur. I speak firmly, “I know you hate talking Arthur. But if we’re gonna move passed this….if you even want to….you need to start talking to me”.

The moment I finish talking, Arthur quickly grabs both my shoulders. Almost like he’s scared I’m going to run off.

“Emmy I want nothin’ more than to earn yer trust back.” he says, looking me square in the eye.

I nod and gesture to the grass below us, “Okay, then. Should…we sit?”

Arthur lets me go and we settle on the ground next to each other. He always dealt better with this stuff when you weren’t looking directly at him. So funny how different he is to John. With John he needed to see your face clearly. He wants to make sure he has all the information your face might give before deciding what to say. Unless he’s drunk. Then he’s just a fool.

“I’m so sorry….Dutch….you know what he’s like.” Arthur starts and I can see he’ll need some guidance getting out what he wants to say. So I help him.

“How did he convince you? Dutch…he said you wanted to kill my father. How did he get you not to?” I ask.

Arthur takes his hat off and tiredly rubs his eyes. Honestly looks like the man hasn’t slept in years.

“He said that you’d be one of us…not that you weren’t already. Just that we’d be all you had now…..and that you’d need things. That kids need things. Ya know, do I 'member what it was like when John joined us 'nd all that. That the money he was offerin' would help with that.” Arthur began. I stayed quiet and just nodded as encouragement. I was taken aback when Arthur turns to actually face me,“I wanted you to have everythin’. You deserved everythin’.”

I smile but it drops as I move on.

“So, as usual, Dutch manipulated you. And hurt many, many people” I whisper.

“I know. I should be used ta that. I guess I still believed in him back then” Arthur whispers back like we’ll be caught by Dutch at any moment and yelled at. He turns away from me again and we sit in silence for a few short moments.

I take a deep breath.

“So. You don’t believe in Dutch’s leadership anymore?” I ask.

Arthur scoffs, “Ah now that’s somethin’ fer anotha time sweetheart”.

I allow myself a smirk before being brought back down to earth. I turn to face him.

“Arthur. You’ve hurt me. More than I ever thought possible….I….you’re my brother Arthur. And I love you. You’ve never said it back and that’s okay. That’s completely fine cos…cos I know you do. You don’t skip out on your fiancé, who you haven’t seen for weeks, to take a kid to the fair without seeing them as your sister. Without loving them.” I smile.

“And wash vomit out of yer horses mane when said sister loses it on  the ride home” he laughs deeply while knocking my knee with the back of his hand. Which I grab and shake.

“Well someone gave me five candy apples!” I yell.

“Two! I gave yer two. John gave yer the others after you told him I said no to ya!” he chuckles, “Was the day I knew you’d be a good con-woman. At 9 years old no less. ”

Arthur squeezes my hand and I squeeze back as our laughter subsides.

“Was only meant to be John taking me that day, remember?” I ask and Arthur nods, “But it was close to Halloween and I was scared to go into the haunted house….I wanted to….but was scared. I always wanted you when I was scared”.

Arthur hides his face from me under his hat. Sounds like he sniffs.

“You’ve hurt me. But we will move past it. I want to move past it. I know Dutch always had this….thing….over you. I acknowledge that and it means something that now you can at least see his cracks.” I say as I start to cry, “But never again Arthur. Never. Again…..or I will shoot you”.

Arthur wipes at his eyes with his other hand and breathes out a huff, motioning to the pieces of fabric hanging from the branches, “Not with those shooting skills you won't”.

“Hey!” I yell and he clears his throat before lifting his head again to look at me. His eyes are red and watery.

“Never again sweetheart….and I do….ya know. I do love you.” he says so quietly that if I were a bit further away I wouldn’t have heard it.

“Jeez Arthur when’d you get so soppy” I laugh, wiping my tears away.

“Ah I dunno. Nearly losing a sister does somethin’ to a man I guess” he laughs back and stands up, pulling me with him. He puts his hat back on. “Now, lets make sure that if you actually do need to kill someone. You don’t miss.”

I stand up straight and brush the grass from my lower half, “Yes, lets!….I won’t be so forgiving if there is a next time.” I say with my sweetest smile.

I get into position and aim my gun. Arthur moves behind me and readjusts my posture again.

“One more thang….this….” Arthur says plucking at the part of Micah’s shirt on my shoulder, “….this anythin’ I need ta worry about?”

I smile wildly and shrug.

“We’ll see” I say before pulling the trigger.

This time I don’t miss.