#he’s so goddamn cute flirting with she who will not be named

[nicolethered]

Pedro as Marcus Pike in The Mentalist 6x16 Violets

[ma1dita]

kiss his face with an uppercut

smutty part 2 here-> heavy hitter

words: 4k

summary: james potter is so attractive you could beat him to death with a bludger. james potter x fem!beater!reader not from gryffindor (for the plot!!)

warnings: none! james gets physically hurt multiple times by reader, multiple innuendos, enemies to lovers kinda, less serious lovey dove more sexual tension!!! probably not accurate quidditch gameplay

a/n: sorry for the hold up guys this took almost a month of on and off editing lmfao— this whole oneshot makes me think of the filipino word ‘gigil’– simply translating to cuteness aggression; i barely know jack shit about sports much less quidditch but this concept had me looking up quidditch rules to be able to provide– eat up kids

Y/S- sibling name

Y/H- house

(posted & edited 10/10/23)

—

Oh BROTHER, this guy STINKS! I mean, how has he not gotten walloped at least once during this godforsaken game? You suck your teeth at the sight of James flying around the pitch blowing kisses to his fan club and Lily Evans, who turns her nose up at the sight of him.

Merlin, when will this game end?

The Hogwarts Quidditch Semi-Finals of 1977 was a game to watch… until both teams stopped scoring what seemed like hours ago. Both Gryffindor & (Y/H) were at a stalemate, down some players due to injury and now, even lower team morale. Gryffindor team captain and chaser James Potter, notorious Marauder, and resident flirt, is not someone who likes to lose. He’s spent all season drilling his teammates, memorizing plays, and thinking of every outcome possible to ensure another Gryffindor victory. James’ affinity to be right takes precedence over anything, after all. But after beating down almost all of (Y/H)’s reserves, James was almost vibrating with confidence. He really doesn’t lose, not if he can help it.

“AND ANOTHER (Y/H) IS DOWN WITH AN INJURY— Team captain Whithall calls for a timeout as they reconvene on what to do next! Hope you’re still comfy in the stands, folks….” the student announcer grumbles.

There’s absolute chaos on the field, and like birds scuffling over a piece of bread, (Y/S), the team’s last good beater is floating on a gurney, ready to be transported to the Hospital Wing.

“Oh, here comes trouble…” Sirius murmurs, smacking James on the back to grab his attention.

You jump down from the stands to check on (Y/S), and James is too busy reveling in the idea of winning the goddamn semi-finals that he doesn’t notice you putting Quidditch gear on.

“Easy win from here on out, Pads! The little lady’s just checking the damage. Not important,” he chortles before Sirius physically grabs his head to face the girl walking towards him, currently storming across the turf to meet him and his team.

“I’m subbing in,” you say, angry at how dirty Gryffindor’s been playing, and angry that you even have to play in (Y/S)’s stead.

“Sweetheart, this game is for serious, you know that right?” James says a bit dumbly with a furrowed brow. Both of you are head to head, and James sees the twitch in your eye as you cross your arms. Hot air is seeping out of your pores but James’s lip simply quirks up in intrigue. You’re someone he hasn’t noticed before, and the only thing running through his mind besides winning the game is that you’re really pretty. But then again, he’s always found angry women to be attractive, in retrospect.

“Yeah, for the actual cup, not…for Sirius… It’s the wrong time to joke, innit?” Sirius says to break the ice, noticing the palpable tension between your glares. Your faces are inches away from each other and he’s not sure if you two are going to fight or kiss, but it makes him grimace all the same.

“Who do you think (Y/S) practices with? Unlike you and your friends, I know when to take things seriously,” You say through gritted teeth.

“She’s legit, Potter. Got added to our reserves last week.” Whithall pipes up, ready to get back to the game. The crowd has been weathered down after hours of anticipation, and they want to see the end of it, no matter the outcome.

“Much to my surprise,” you grumble, elbowing the authority in the form of a teenage boy not much older than yourself. You should’ve known your sibling was looking a little too happy as they got floated off the pitch on a gurney.

“Then let’s play. Don’t hurt yourself, sweetheart.” James says condescendingly, floating away on his broomstick like it’s a walk in the park, but the way you’re slapping the bat against your palm is getting Sirius a tiny bit nervous for his precious countenance. The whistle blows and the game resumes.

“A SURPRISE ADDITION (Y/N) JOINS HER HOUSE AS BEATER! Gryffindor better watch out for her swi—” You slam the bludger in James’s direction and it hurtles toward him so fast that he almost folds in half, barrel-rolling on his broom to dodge it. The move makes Sirius and a few of their other teammates gasp to see James scrambling back onto his broom.

“Oops! Looks like I missed.” you deadpan, balancing midair as you whack another one where it rebounds off the Gryffindor seeker and back towards James, hitting both of them in the gut.

“THIS GIRL’S GOT AN ARM ON HER! Though might I say her hits look a bit targeted…” The commentator says worriedly, and everyone in the crowd is leaning in their seats trying to get a better view.

“Merlin, are you trying to kill me woman?” he yells in outrage.

“I’m trying to finish the game. Your big head is in the way,” you say with a straight face as Sirius bats towards you, and you spin on your broomstick without shifting your posture. The smile on your face as you taunt him should be considered criminal, but he’s looking at you in a new light.

Yeah, now he’s paying attention. The other Gryffindor players can’t seem to figure out your next move and you bat another bludger towards Potter’s extremely large target of a head, and all of a sudden he’s freefalling through the air as his teammates fly to catch him, one by one. His nose still makes impact with the ground before Sirius catches by the ankle like Achilles taking a dip in the River Styx.

“AND (Y/H) HAS CAPTURED THE SNITCH! Good job to their Seeker, Appleby! Congratulations on a job well done, so that we can all finally go home.” The commentator cringes as McGonagall swats at him to leave the podium.

Who even is she, taking over the game and stealing his win like that?

He’s walking up from the sidelines with a bloody nose, going to shake Whithall’s hand and you’re standing behind him, a malicious grin plastered between your rosy cheeks, windswept and almost ethereal while he looks like he got flattened by a hippogriff. Fuck, she’s pretty. You look like you floated down from the heavens, and by the looks his team gives him, he may have just crawled out of the earth.

“Congrats,” he grumbles, turning to you. Really pretty. It’s even worse that you’re devastatingly stunning up close— with sweat glistening on your brow and a pearly white smile, he takes a good moment to really look at you and memorize the flutter of your eyelashes. He’s unsure if he’s concussed or maybe it’s his astigmatism, but there are actual stars in his vision as he peers down at you. Your confidence is actually kind of sexy.

“You look…um…you ride well.” He stutters, shaking his head from his personal reverie.

“Excuse me?” you say, your little mouth agape in what he hopes is not disgust. He looks pathetic, blood sopping down to his jersey as he looks at you like he’s only seeing you for the first time, acknowledging you closely. Something about seeing him flail makes you crinkle your nose as you stifle a grin.

“I mean…Um…” Damn.

Sirius pulls his best friend away before you can bite back your laughter, all of your teammates leading you away to celebrate.

“Mate, what the shit was that? Are you alright in the head?” Sirius says, and if James’ nose wasn’t already bleeding he was going to slap him silly.

“Just…Didn’t see that coming…” he mumbles, and his mind, along with all of Gryffindor is in disarray as they walk back to their tower. He’s got a lot of thinking to do on what his next move will be.

—

James Potter goes through life in three methodical ways: 1.) creating a strategy, 2.) making a scene, 3.) and dragging his friends into it— in that particular order, every single time.

Now notice how considering consequences is not part of said process.

His ego wouldn’t let him rest after a girl, much less a very pretty one that he’d never noticed before—beat him at what he does best; quidditch! In fact, the next few nights were void of sleep and filled with thoughts of you. The way your hair looked so soft in the sunlight, how your lip turns almost Gryffindor red when you bite it in concentration, and maybe how your delicate hands would look as they tightly grasp onto his bat...ahem…your quidditch bat. Some dirty delusions aside, if looks could kill, he’d be dead seven times over, but honestly? He’d probably thank you for it.

James’ new mission was to figure you out, and if that was his mission, it meant it was the rest of the Marauders’ too. For the sake of winning the Cup, of course. That’s what he tries to tell himself until his mates catch him ogling you again at breakfast.

“So what is it with you and girls that inflict you nothing but pain and humiliation?” Remus muses, as the Marauders watch James laugh at a joke you told your friends at the (Y/H) table across the Great Hall. He looks at you like someone who stares at the sun, squinting and burning himself as he ponders on why he’s unable to look away.

James fumbles a response, shoving Remus as they all laugh. “Listen, I’ve got a bit of a masochistic streak, Moony. Just…There’s something about her…”

Your friends are pointing at him now, and as you turn to meet his eyes, you lift a brow inquisitively and flip him off. Sirius’s face pulls up in shock at James’s growing smile at the interaction as he mumbles, “Maybe you’ve met your match, Prongs…”

The boy pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, anything to try to see you clearer as he leans over to put his head in his hands, sighing dreamily. His friends are not as easily amused.

“A match made in heaven, you reckon?”

—

“Match made in hell, more like!” You spit, almost choking on your scrambled eggs at your friends’ insinuations. Your back is as stiff as a board, shoulders tight at the notion of you ever liking James Potter triggering your fight or flight response. When it comes to someone as pompous as him, only the word fight comes to mind.

“Oh come on, love… He’s popular, funny, and quite handsome…It’s James freaking Potter we’re talking about!” your roommate gushes, but you're not the least bit impressed.

“Is that supposed to do anything for me? I can think of a few F words that middle initial can stand for…” Eyes rolling, you peek back at the Gryffindor table to see said boy wiggling his fingers at you teasingly until he accidentally smacks Peter in the face with his toast. Idiot.

“Only hot people get away with stupid shit. I mean look at the four of them!” you continue, gulping down the rest of your coffee. “Potter’s the worst out of all of them though. Big ass head must compensate for a lot of things." You say, shaking your head at your friends.

"And yet, here you are, talking about him for the fourth time this morning," your roommate replies, smirking. " You’ve been Potter crazy since you helped us beat Gryffindor in the semi-finals! Are you sure you don't have a crush on him?"

"No!" you say too quickly, too loudly, that the shrill noise of your voice makes your ears hurt and the shit-eating grins on your friends’ faces reflect how desperate that came off. You slump onto the table, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“You wanna kiss him, don’t you?” they tease, and you push away their puckering faces as you scoff, “With an uppercut, maybe!” Almost makes you want to stomp over there and wipe the stupid look off his face…and maybe sit on his lap. You run your fingers through your hair in frustration. All this aggression really needs to go somewhere, but unfortunately, James Potter’s lap is the only destination you have in mind.

“He’s just really punchable. I get so annoyed by the sight of him I just want to… ugh!” you groan, your hands shaking as you try to convince them (or yourself). Your friends cackle at the sight of you pretending to squeeze his curly-topped, mothball-filled head, but your brain changes course and you imagine what it’s like to hold his hand. Your fingers flex cautiously at the idea, wondering what his touch would feel like. Grabbing a glass of water to cool your thoughts, your peripherals reveal he’s still staring at you like you make night turn into day. His gaze is searing, and as you put your lips around your straw, he licks his lips slowly. Shit.

—

Availability bias is one hell of a mindfuck. If only they taught psychology at this magic school, maybe the wizarding world would have way fewer problems and more people would be straightforward and not.. Dead. James decides he can categorize his life now as before you, and after you.

Before you, well… he honestly wasn’t even sure if you were a student at Hogwarts until he saw you marching down the pitch, but now… You’re everywhere. He can spot your voice in a crowded hallway, and who was going to tell him you’ve had three classes with him this whole term? Even down to when he shuts his eyes, he’s convinced his eyelids are branded with the imprint of your silhouette. Every conversation he strikes with you ends with you laughing at him, and he’s unsure if that’s a step up or down from the many boisterous rejections from Lily Evans over the years. He sort of wishes you’d laugh with him, and do a number of other things, (heck he’s got a list of ideas he’s wanked off to), and well… His soul is tightly wound with thoughts of you and Godric, listen to this guy…. maybe the boys were right…. Maybe he really does need to get laid.

It’s funny how fate works, two people who’ve barely interacted in the past six years at Hogwarts are now paired together for a History of Magic essay worth 20% of the term grade. You’re trying to get this done as fast as possible, he notices, mapping out ideas and trying to discuss how to piece it all together, yet James does everything but that to get you to pay attention to him. He fills your head with mundane little questions, asking you what your favorite fruit is to the childhood bedtime story your parents told you as a kid.

“What’s your middle name, Potter?” You muse, finally entertaining him after endless chatter. His eyes trail to the exposed skin of your collarbones as you stretch in your seat, and well… you don’t look as menacing as you always do but did it seriously have to be this question? He scratches the back of his head, silent for the first time in the two hours you’ve been trying to craft this essay for the sake of both your grades.

“What? I can’t just go around calling you James Fucking Potter. Spit it out, you know too much about me already.”

He clears his throat, a blush creeping up his neck. “It’s… that’s an intimate question, love… I…”

Your laughter at his response makes his senses shut down. “Oh, so it’s bad. What is it, Franklin? Fabio? Come on, I won’t bite.” A part of him wishes you would, your face equally flushed and so close to him right now, almost leering at him for an answer. It’d be easy to just lean over…

“Fleamont.”

Your lips quirk, until they pucker like you’ve guzzled a lemon. The blush on your cheeks intensifies, and the sound explodes out of you. You laugh so loudly Madam Pince kicks you both out of the library, James carrying both your knapsacks, a hand around your waist as you rush out of there. Your body is firm under his touch, pupils unfocused and dilated looking at him now that you know his dirty little secret. James thinks that if you keep looking at him like that, hell, you can call him anything you want.

—

Fleamont.

What a prick. A really attractive, clueless prick. The memory makes you giggle as you get ready for the Quidditch Cup and your team charges out onto the field to face Gryffindor again, as you’ve both advanced to the finals. He’s not as much of an asshole as you originally thought. It’s undeniable that something pulls you towards him, whether it be hormones, concern, or the fact that it’s actually adorable the way he writes his mother back weekly, or admirable how he moved Sirius out of Black Manor himself last year. Maybe it’s endearing the way he goes out of his way to make first-years smile or heartwarming how even Filch can’t find reasons to hate him. The golden boy. You get it now, why people get trapped in his web, and why many are unwilling to leave.

You pass him outside the locker rooms, bumping shoulders as he smiles almost bashfully. The golden boy, loudmouth, ball of energy is reduced to a nervous pile of teenage ineptness at the sight of you, every time. You could take him (not in a fight). In an actual fight, maybe you could land a few solid hits before his nice muscly arms hold you do—

“Ready to finish this, darling?”

Your eyes refocus when his hand nudges the small of your back, right above your hip. “Mhmm,” you clear your throat, “Ready to lose, Potter?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He moves closer, slowly backing you into the wall.

“Eyes on the prize Potter, I’m in this to win it.” You say, looking at the closing distance between both your chests. James nods, not taking his eyes off of you for a moment, even when the announcer calls out the imminent start of the game.

“WELCOME TO THE HOGWARTS QUIDDITCH CUP OF 1977 GRYFFINDOR VS. (Y/H)! I hope you are all excited as our last match between these teams was quite thrilling at the end of it!” The announcer says, hyping up the roaring crowd as your teams parade onto the pitch.

His eyes are still on you when he shakes Whithall’s hand and the whistle blows. It’s intense, and makes you feel like you’re burning, even if the wind is blowing like crazy today. You bat the bludgers toward anything red on the field that even dares to move toward your teammates. James won’t stop staring at you, and you both lock eyes across the pitch.

“What? Flirt with me later, Potter, I’m trying to win!” you yell.

He’s got you transfixed, and it’s crazy how his timing is always wrong. You bat the bludger away from your captain but don’t notice James flying towards you to respond as you give it your hardest swing, making the impact against his huge target of a head all the more painful.

Holy shit, did you kill him?

He keels off his broom like a shot bird and then he’s falling, and you’re the one chasing the Gryffindor chaser as he flaps his arms like the idiot you know he is as you push forward to catch him before he splits his skull open.

“I’msofuckingsorryJamesareyouokay?” You blurt out as you land, soft hands moving over his broad chest and quickly swelling face. He’s wearing that stupid grin again, and you think you may have finally broken Gryffindor’s team captain.

“You know my name?” he sighs happily, comfortable in your lap and maybe it’s the brain damage you’ve caused him or the way his glasses are bent beyond repair but you will every magical predecessor you can think of to stop you from punching him in the face right now.

“Are you fucking dense?” You scream, shaking your head, and jostling him as his arms try to reach out to swipe the hair away from your face.

“Must’ve hit him so hard you knocked his filter loose..” Sirius muses after he lands next to you two on the grass.

“POTTER’S TAKEN A HIT FROM (Y/H) and it doesn’t look good ladies and gents! Gryffindor calls a timeout to check on their captain!” The announcer calls out, and there are so many eyes on the two of you as James is simply giggling like a prepubescent schoolboy. Fuck, you’ve maimed the golden boy.

“Y’know, sweetheart. You’re…really sexy when you’re on top of me like this,” he says breathily, and you really can’t hit him, so you jab Sirius in the gut instead when he tries to laugh at his best friend’s stupidity.

—

James wakes up in the hospital wing with a blinding headache until someone gently pulls the curtains closed, stroking the hair off his sweaty forehead.

“Poppy you always take such good care of me…” he mumbles. A punch lands on his chest and his eyes rip open, not expecting to see you at his bedside.

“Idiot,” you mutter. “You’re always in my way and now look, you almost got yourself killed and it would’ve been my fault! How dare you, James…” The red is crawling up your neck like a brushfire as you berate him, and he takes it with a grin as you jabber on, putting his arms behind his head.

“Were you worried about me, love?” James smiles cheesily, catching your arm at its half-hearted attempt to slap him across the face.

“I was not. Stubborn people like you are hard to kill. I’m more annoyed that I can’t morally punch your face in since you have a concussion. Madame Pomfrey’s already healed your cheekbone.”

“That you broke,” he says matter-of-factly, taking a chance to kiss the palm of your hand. This concussion is working like a bottle of Felix Felicis. It’s endearing to see you taking care of him, whether you like it or not (even with the punches he’s sure it’ll come with).

“You’re sick in the head.”

“For you. I was trying to come tell you that I never took my eyes off the prize, but then of course you bludgeoned my face in before I could get sweet on yo—”

Your lips crash down on his, and nothing about it is delicate. It’s a month’s worth of yearning, imaginations coming to fruition as he grabs the back of your head to deepen the embrace. Your lips on his are hot and heady, and he could be easily convinced that he’s stuck there, cauterized to the shape of you.

“I know. I could feel you watching.” You breathe into his mouth, leaning up on his chest. His lips chase up again to meet yours, biting down on your bottom lip as you groan. He might like that noise better than the sound of your laughter. It’ll be fun to find out.

“Who won the Cup?”

Laughter spills out of your red, kiss-swollen lips as you pat his cheek gently, fingers grazing over his healed cheekbone.

“Not Gryffindor. But listen closely James, if you be a good boy and get past this concussion, I’ll make up for it by showing you how well I ride…”

He likes the sound of that, Quidditch Cup be damned. You see, James Potter never loses, ladies and gentlemen, not really—and well... there’s always next year.

—

“I like the way

you look at me

like you are

going to talk to me

or devour me

and I am fine with either.”

-N.R. Hart

taglist: @jsjcue

[theemporium]

Hello my dear!!! So - I know your requests are closed for now, but I just had to tell you I am OBSESSED with your Danny Ric x Sunshine series, and I had a thought for once they’re open again… I know that Sunshine isn’t famous or anything, but what if she dated someone who was/is before she started dating Danny (ex. Joe Jonas)? Like maybe they were childhood sweethearts or something, and her ex shows up at the Miami GP as a musical guest or something and Danny goes FERAL and protective of Sunshine? I just think it would be so cute and fluffy 😍🥰

you are a cutie🥹thank you for requesting!!! i changed it a wee bit but i hope you enjoy! and sorry for making you wait so long🫶🏽

.

It wasn’t unusual for there to be famous faces dotted around the garage during the race weekend. 

Daniel was used to it and, if he was being completely honest, he enjoyed it. He enjoyed seeing familiar faces around the paddock, talking and chatting with them and meeting new and old fans alike. He was a social butterfly and he thrived in these situations, even if some drivers found it a little distracting or stressful when they were trying to get on with their jobs. Usually, Daniel loved it.

Except when these celebrities couldn’t seem to catch the hint.

You were gorgeous. Hell, in the eyes of Daniel, you were the prettiest human to ever walk the goddamn Earth. He was obsessed with you. He worshipped the ground you walked on. You were his sun and his life revolved around you and your love. He pinched himself every day that you chose to be with him, to love him, to be his forever partner. 

However, it seemed one of Red Bull’s recent garage guests didn’t seem to catch the hint that you were not single nor were you ready to mingle.

If he was being honest, he didn’t know who the guy was. He had heard from a few team members that he was some big, upcoming actor that most of the world was going crazy for but Daniel didn’t care. He didn’t care if the man was the biggest name in the world. He was going after Daniel’s girl and he didn’t like that one bit. 

Most guests tended to stick to their guided tours or near the back so they were out of the team’s way, yet this actor seemed to have gravitated towards you. He had been blatant in his attempts with flirting and chatting with you, going as far as leaning on the table you were currently working on until it became near impossible to continue with your job. He could see the discomfort in your face, could see the way you were getting progressively more annoyed and, despite knowing you could handle yourself, the last thing he wanted was you to be on the frog page after punching the douche in the face (even if it would've been well-deserved in his eyes).

“Got a problem here, mate?” 

The man—his name was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t bring himself to care to remember—turned away from you to look at the approaching driver. “Hey, Daniel, right? Huge fan. You’ve got a great team here.”

“Yeah, the best of the best,” Daniel said as he slided in behind you, his hand resting on your shoulder as your body relaxed under his touch. “Sunshine here has the best brain you could ask for in Formula One.”

The man’s gaze slid back down to you, his lips twitching upwards in what you assumed was meant to be a charming smile. “So, your name is Sunshine?”

You opened your mouth to reply, but Daniel beat you to it.

“Ha no, I can call her Sunshine,” he said with a massive smile on your face, one that would leave the people around you and out of ear shot to believe this was a happy conversation. “You can mind your own fucking business.”

The man’s face immediately soured. “Excuse me?”

“You’re a guest, courtesy of Red Bull, and that is the only reason I’m not dragging your sorry ass out of the paddock,” Daniel continued, stepping a little closer so you were leaning back against him. “Now, you can leave now or you can sit in the back of the garage like a good dog and leave my girl alone to do her work. What’s it gonna be?”

“You can’t talk to me like that,” he insisted with a scoff. “Do you know who I am?”

“No, but I don’t really care. You’re on my turf right now, and what I say goes. If I don’t want you here, you’ll be gone with a snap of my fingers.” Daniel stated so casually, like his whole body wasn’t humming with the desire to just punch the guy in the face. “Piss off now.”

You had barely waited until he was gone before you spun around in your seat, looking up at him with an amused smile. “Are you taking lessons from Max or something? That felt very Mad Max-coded.”

Daniel rolled his eyes. “I was teaching him a lesson.” 

“No, you were jealous and it was hot,” you corrected with a grin as you reached towards him, your arms winding around his torso. “But thank you. I was two seconds away from throwing my laptop at his head.”

He laughed as he leaned down, hands gently holding your hair back as he kissed you. “Always here to be your knight in shining armour, Sunshine.”

.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Eddie Munson's second chance

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 14

Prompt: Angst with a happy ending

Rated: G

CW: referenced child neglect/abuse

Tags: Modern AU, Royalty AU, Royal Steve Harrington, Rockstar Eddie Munson

Notes: Continued from day 11. This was angstier in my head, but Eddie is a silly goose.

Eddie Munson is no stranger to fucking up. He's long accepted that. It's just a thing that happens.

Sometimes, you'll miscalculate a stage dive and have to cancel the rest of the tour. 

Sometimes, you'll get so caught up in your stupid rockstar stuff, you'll forget about the youth center you founded to give other kids a better childhood. 

Sometimes, you'll meet an adorable guy named Dustin at said youth center, and rant about how useless the monarchy is, only to find out that Dustin isn't Dustin at all, but Crown Prince Steven Harrington, aka the future king, aka owner of the saddest pair of puppy dog eyes that Eddie has ever failed to get out of his goddamn head. 

Which brings him to his current predicament, sitting on the edge of his bed, waiting for Chrissy to pick up the phone. She does after the second dial tone, which is pretty impressive for three in the morning. 

"We must cancel the royal visit," Eddie blurts before she can ask what's wrong. 

"Eds," she yawns. "We've been over this. Just because you can't stand the guy-" 

"That's not it," Eddie groans. "Listen … I met him yesterday? Only I didn't know it was him? And I flirted with him and he was really cute but I couldn't keep my fucking mouth shut and now I can't ever see him again because I don't wanna rot in some dungeon, understand?" 

"No," she says. Damn, it sounded perfectly logical in his head. "But this doesn't seem like something we should discuss on the phone. Stay put, I'm coming over." 

*

They don't cancel the royal visit, but Eddie refuses to make an appearance. Instead, he watches from behind the curtains of the office window like a creep. The Prince looks dashing in his tailored suit, smiling for the cameras, joking with the kids, listening to Chrissy with polite attention as she shows him around the place. Eddie loves her so fucking much, will be forever grateful that she filled in for him. 

Even if she tied it to one condition. 

He watches how she whispers something into the Prince's ear, how his smile melts into an angry frown. How they both turn to stare at the window. Eddie flinches away from the curtains, heart in his throat. 

He wonders if the dungeons have WiFi. 

*

"You have exactly ten minutes," says the bodyguard. It’s the same one from yesterday, the one called Hop. Eddie doesn’t reply, just nods stiffly. Hop looks at him like he's contemplating murder, but then he ducks out of the room with a muttered all clear.

Prince Steven steps in. The door clicks shut. Silence descends. 

"Well," Eddie finally mumbles. "I guess this is the part where I bow and grovel." 

The Prince snorts. "Please don't, Mr Munson. I'd rather you save us both the embarrassment."

Eddie winces, because ouch. That stings more than it should. 

Neither of them says anything for a long while. The clock on the wall keeps ticking. 

"So," Eddie rocks awkwardly on the soles of his combat boots. "Who's Dustin?" 

Those plush lips twitch into a smile and those pretty eyes light up. For a moment, Eddie glimpses the boy from yesterday. 

"My housekeeper's kid. He'd be so mad if he knew I met you and didn't get him an autograph." 

He says it with genuine concern, like he's honestly afraid of getting shit from a little kid, and Eddie can't help but grin. 

"Don't worry, I won't tell." 

This gets him a huffed laugh. 

"He'd love this place, it's really cool." 

When Eddie looks up, the Prince is looking at the picture frames on the walls, photos of smiling kids and drawings in crayon and watercolors. Eddie sighs and joins him, stares long and hard of a picture of Max on her skateboard. 

"Thanks. I, um … grew up around here, and I wanted to give these kids a safe space. Where they can just … be children. I never really had that myself." 

A thoughtful hum. Those hazel eyes are soft with an expression that looks weirdly like longing. Eddie remembers watching stories about the royal family on his uncle's rickety TV set. A solemn-faced boy his own age trailing behind his parents outside of private jets, in lush parks and gilded halls. Always in expensive suits. Always well-behaved. Always way too grown-up.

Well, shit. 

"Listen, your highness …" 

"Steve is fine." 

"Listen, Steve …" Eddie lets the name linger on his tongue, finds that he likes the feel of it. "I guess I've been a bit of a dick." 

A hint of that bitchy little smile. "You guess correctly." 

"Whatever," Eddie huffs. "I'm trying to apologize here, so may I? Or are you throwing me in the dungeons?" 

"The …" Steve blinks. Then, his mouth starts to curl. "We, um … don't actually do that anymore. Unless you're into that, then I'm sure it could be arranged." 

Eddie sputters and Steve bites back a laugh. 

"If you really wanna make up for it," he then says. "I hear your concert next week is all sold out? Dustin would love backstage tickets." 

Eddie frowns. 

"Dustin as in the kid or …" 

"Steve?" Hop cracks the door open. "Time to go, c'mon." 

Steve smiles, bright and sunshiny. "On my way." 

He turns to Eddie, grabs a pen and a notepad from the chaos on the desk.

"Backstage tickets, two of them. I'll be expecting them by tomorrow." 

*

When Chrissy bustles in not five minutes later, she finds Eddie in the office chair, staring morosely at the still drawn curtains. 

"Eds? Everything okay?" Eddie just groans and hides his head in his hands, so she crouches down in front of him, hands on his knees. "He didn't give you shit, did he?" 

"Shit? I wish. No, it's far worse than that." Eddie cackles hysterically and unclenches his fist, presenting a crumpled piece of notebook paper. "He gave me his number." 

Part 3

All my holiday drabbles

[burntheedges-updates]

over again, chapter 1

This is my updates-only blog! Follow me at @burntheedges

Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: you fell in love with Joel Miller in Austin, Texas, in 2001, but you thought you lost him and your whole family in 2003 when the world turned upside down. now it's 2024, and you find the surprise of your life waiting for you in Jackson, Wyoming. or, five times you and Joel fell deeper in love, on both sides of the apocalypse (and one time you did something about it)18+ minors DNI chapter tags/warnings: fluff, flirting, light angst, cursing, no use of y/n, no description of reader (see note below), smallish age difference (reader is 26, Joel is 32/almost 33 when they meet in 2000) (small for this fandom, anyway) (the smut comes later, y'all, we're just getting started here) a/n: Well, here we go! This is part 1. This fic is completely finished. It’s a 5+1 and for some of the 5 parts I’ll post them together (on Sundays) and for some I’ll post them separately (on Sundays and Wednesdays) just due to length. Obviously I'm posting this one early (lol). I’ll tell you whatever the schedule is for the different parts. I've paid a lot of attention to the reader's description in this fic. I've avoided skin color, hair type, body shape/size descriptions, and even clothing (except for one or two spots where you are specifically wearing jeans and boots). You are vaguely shorter than Joel. He does not run his fingers through your hair, and you feel the blood rush to your face or your face heat, but you don't turn red or pink. Please tell me if you notice anything I missed - I want this to be as inclusive as possible. word count: 1724 (for this part) series main post & chapter list | series playlist (w/ plot-related mix) ao3 | chapter 2

Chapter 1: Meet Cute

Jackson, Early Winter, 2023

You’ve been heading northwest from somewhere in Kansas, thinking you’ve never bothered going out this way, even Before, so why not? It’s been months since you saw another person. You’re not even sure the last time you spoke out loud. 

You blame the lengthy isolation for how easily they get the jump on you. 

It's just after dawn when you're rudely awakened - at first, you’re not sure why, but a second kick to your hip sends you scrambling to sit up in your sleeping bag, which is tangled around your legs. Looking around as you struggle, you realize you’re surrounded by people on foot and on horseback. Every single one of them is pointing a gun at you. You glance to the side and realize your backpack along with anything possibly useful inside of it has been kicked away from you. The woman who kicked you has a steely look in her eye that reminds you, in your half awake state, of the last boss you had Before. 

“State your business.” As she speaks you notice the two men closest to her start to fan out a bit, but you don’t dare look away from her.

“I’m just passing through, I’ve been looking for a good place to spend the winter.”

Or, that’s what you would have said, if not for the voice from your past shouting your name in shock just as you open your mouth. “No goddamn way, is that really you?”

You think you must be hallucinating, because everyone you knew Before is dead, but then Tommy fucking Miller pushes his way in front of the woman who spoke. For a moment you can’t do more than stare at each other — him with his gun hanging limply in his right hand, you with your legs still tangled in your godforsaken sleeping bag. Then you launch into motion and start to kick it away as you find your voice. It comes out shaky. Or maybe you’re shaking all over.

“Tommy? But — you’re alive? Where the hell have you been? Wait, are Joel and—“

Tommy cuts you off as he pulls you to your feet and into a tight hug. “Holy shit, we thought you were dead. Holy fucking shit.”

“We? Tommy wait, are they—“

Tommy pulls back, keeping hold of your shoulders as he looks you in the eye. He’s grinning, his eyes wandering all over your face. “He’s alive, sunshine. Or he was when he came through here about a month ago. We’re expecting them back in the spring.”

You can feel your heart racing and your whole body feels hot and tingly. You’re overwhelmed. You didn’t think you could still feel hope like this. It’s terrifying, but you have to know. “He’s- Them? They’re both alive? Sarah?”

You know the answer before he even says anything. Tommy’s face falls, his eyes drop from yours, and you feel it like a sucker punch, as bad as it was the first time around. Your knees give out even though this is what you’ve known, or tried to convince yourself must be true, for 20 years. Tommy falls gently with you to the ground.

Your baby girl. “Oh god, Sarah. And Joel, he must have been—“

“Yeah, sunshine. He thought he lost you both. It wasn’t… well. It wasn’t good.” 

You’re starting to feel numb. You have no idea what your face is doing right now, but judging by Tommy’s, it isn’t pretty. 10 minutes ago you were alone in the apocalypse, and suddenly you’re face-to-face with your almost-brother-in-law and you know, without a doubt, that your fiancé hasn’t been dead this whole time. Is this shock? It’s been 20 years since you felt a shock like this. Since you felt anything like this. 

“Tommy, I… I need to sit down.”

“Well, you are sitting down, sunshine. But get up, gather your stuff. You can come to town with us. Stay as long as you’d like.” You nod, unsteady, and Tommy guides you carefully towards what must be his horse. 

The day passes in a daze. You think you might actually be hallucinating, or still back in your sleeping bag, dreaming, because a whole, functional town? A commune, and a house they’re just going to let you have as your own? A real community? With your only remaining family, miraculously alive? It’s impossible. You float through the rest of the day and find yourself sitting on a bed in a house with indoor plumbing that somehow belongs to you, having just eaten real food in the company of the family you thought you lost 20 years ago.

You give up and go to sleep. (What else are you going to do?)

...

As you settle into life in Jackson, the knowledge that you might see Joel — your Joel, any day now — never leaves your thoughts. It’s like a drum beat at the back of your mind that only repeats his name, marking time every hour of every day. You don’t know how you’ll prepare yourself for it. How could you? You haven’t seen him in 20 years. Anything could be different. You can so easily picture him with a daughter, but it’s Sarah in your mind, not Ellie, who Tommy has told you a bit about. Every time you open those old wounds that you’ve done your best to bury it hurts like the first time. Would he still want you? Still know you? Do you still know him? Would Ellie like you? You can’t imagine not knowing Joel, or Joel not knowing you, but it’s been 20 years and people change. You’ve changed, after all. Some days you barely recognize yourself. 

You express these fears to Tommy once, but he only laughs and says his brother may be stupid but he’s not stupid enough not to want you. It’s reassuring and rude, so, exactly like Tommy. At least some things never change.

The day Joel Miller walks back into Jackson you happen to be standing on the road near the gates, talking to Tommy, and you swear he spots you in less than 5 seconds. It’s like you can’t help but look to each other first, even when you don’t know the other is alive, even when you haven’t seen each other in 20 years. You’d know the shape of him anywhere and your eyes have never stopped looking for it, never stopped catching on a set of shoulders, a cocked hip, a tilted head, only to be disappointed when it faded like a mirage. When the person in front of you didn’t fit the hole he left behind. It hurt every time. Maybe it’s been the same for him. 

Joel looks like he’s seen a ghost, and you have no idea what expression is on your face, but the moment you lock eyes all you see is the moment you first met, almost 24 years ago, like a film negative laid on top of what’s really in front of you. He’s older, of course, but so are you, and he’s still the most handsome man you’ve ever seen.

He steps towards you and whispers your name like a prayer.

Joel fucking Miller. 

Austin, Summer 2000

It was a Saturday morning in late summer, so not yet the hottest part of the day, but not comfortable, either. Your belongings were steadily moving from the truck to your new rental house under your somewhat careful supervision when movement from the house next door caught your eye. You looked up just as one of the guys from the moving company almost dropped your nightstand off the back of the truck, distracting you from the sight of a young girl, maybe about 10, rocketing out of the house next door and down her front steps. She was wearing a bright green soccer uniform.

By the time your nightstand had been righted and you looked back towards your neighbors’ house, she’d made her way to the bushes between your driveways, standing on her tiptoes and taking in all of the commotion. She met your eye and grinned. You grinned back as she called, “Hi, new neighbor!” 

You walked over, stopping on the other side of the bush to introduce yourself. “Hi there, neighbor.” 

It didn’t seem possible, but she grinned even wider. “I’m Sarah, that’s my dad.”

You looked up, realizing there was a man coming down their steps towards the two of you — the most attractive man you’d ever seen in your life. He was tall, with broad shoulders and the look of a man who spent a lot of time in the sun, tan lines peeking out of his shirt sleeves. His brown curls were a bit messy and his shoulders and strong arms drew your eye like a magnet. You caught yourself giving him a quick once over and felt your face start to warm, embarrassed, but when you met his eyes again you caught him doing the same to you. You realized you were both caught and you smiled, introducing yourself. 

“Nice to meet you, darlin’. Joel Miller, and I think you’ve met Sarah.” You felt your face turn hot at the endearment but you knew he probably didn’t mean anything by it. Southern hospitality and all. “Welcome to the neighborhood.”

You’d opened your mouth to respond when you were rudely interrupted by a crashing noise from the moving truck behind you, and you whirled around to see a box on its side on the ground that definitely should not have been. You glanced back at your neighbors as you excused yourself. “It’s great to meet you! Sorry, I need to see what that was.”

They shooed you along before you could even finish your sentence, reassuring you that they understood. “Let me know if anything broke, darlin,’ I’m pretty handy, could probably fix it. It’d be my pleasure.” He smiled at you a bit, just on one side, edging towards a smirk, and you did your best not to stare at his mouth. “Deal,” you agreed, grinning. Both you and Joel seemed unable to draw your eyes away from each other. You were stuck, pinned in place under his gaze until Sarah tugged on his arm and dragged him towards their truck. “Dad, we’re gonna be late!”

The view from the back was just as nice as the front. 

...

a/n: ch 2 is up!

taglist: @morgaussy

[loveroftoomanyfandoms]

Cooking Up Love, Chapter 5

Pairing: Chef!Matt Murdock x F!Journalist!Reader

Rating: T (for now, might change, probably won't)

Story Summary: Here

Warnings/Tags: Hallmark levels of fluffy, cheesy goodness (and speed that their relationship develops, lol), no use of Y/N, Matt is not a vigilante, but he is a naughty-minded flirt 😉

Word Count: exactly 3200 for this chapter

A/N: And we're back! Thank you to everyone who's been enjoying this story so far, and please let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list for this or any of my others!

(Thanks to @theradioactivespidergwen for the divider she made for me!)

Tag List: @yarrystyleeza @hailey-murdock @mattkinsella @bellaxgiornata @danzer8705 @chezagnes @shouldbestudying41 @thepunisherfrankcastle

Ugh, this is ridiculous, you thought to yourself the next morning as you tossed yet another rejected outfit onto your bed.  You had been torn between wanting to dress professionally since you were technically working and wearing something more casual since you knew you would be watching Chef Murdock cook and didn't want to accidentally ruin one of your nicer outfits, and had ransacked your closet in order to find something in-between. It's not like it actually matters what I wear anyway.

Finally you pulled on a pair of jeans and a cute-but-casual top then hurriedly finished getting ready before heading towards Daredevil.

You sucked in a breath as you spotted Chef Murdock waiting for you outside of the restaurant. Goddamn, even dressed casually he's sexy as all hell.

He was dressed in a black T-shirt and jeans today, paired with black sneakers and a comfortably-worn-looking brown leather jacket.

His head turned towards you as you approached. "Good morning," he said with a smile.

"Hi," you replied. "How'd you know it was me?"

"You slowed down as you approached me," Chef Murdock replied. "If it hadn't been you you more than likely wouldn't have changed your pace, so I made an educated guess."

"Oh, okay, yeah, that makes sense." You shook your head. "I guess you kinda have to pay extra attention to your surroundings, huh?"

Chef Murdock nodded. “Yeah, I’ve had to learn to utilize my remaining senses to adapt to the environment around me.”

He held a to-go cup of coffee out towards you. "Here, I picked up some coffee for you. I wasn't exactly sure what you'd want so I got you something based on what you were drinking at the Bulletin the other day."

Your eyebrows raised. To you your coffee always smelled like, well, coffee, but Chef Murdock was trained in the culinary arts -- he could probably tell what sweeteners and syrups were in a cup of coffee just from the scent alone.

You took a sip then nodded in approval. "This is great. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Chef Murdock took a sip of his own coffee. "So since any culinary dish starts with its ingredients, I thought we'd begin our cooking demo at the farmer's market this morning."

You nodded. "Okay, yeah, that sounds great. Do you mind if I record our conversation while we walk? Sometimes something will jump out in casual conversation that's good for my article."

Chef Murdock shook his head. "Not at all."

"Great, thanks." You took your phone out of your pocket and started recording, once again stating your name, the date, and the time. "Interview of Chef Matthew Murdock, part 2."

Chef Murdock gestured down the sidewalk. "Shall we, then?"

"Sure."

You headed down the sidewalk together, the gentle tapping of Chef Murdock's cane against the pavement creating a rhythm with your steps.

"So, um, how was dinner service last night?" you asked. 

"It was… okay," Chef Murdock replied. "Not quite what I'd hoped for in terms of customers, but we're still finding our footing."

You nodded. "Well, hopefully my profile of you for the Bulletin will help get the word out."

Chef Murdock nodded. "Fingers crossed. So what about you? How was your evening? Have any big Friday night plans?"

You shook your head with a light laugh. "Not unless you counted a date with my Netflix account."

Chef Murdock chuckled. "That actually sounds really nice."

"I would ask if you got to do anything after the restaurant closed, but I'm sure you probably just went home and rested."

Chef Murdock shook his head. "Actually, I have after-hours access to a gym near my apartment, so I frequently go there to work off my energy from service before heading home."

I wonder what kind of workouts he does to gain those biceps of his , you thought as you glanced over at his arms.

"Boxing." 

You looked up at Chef Murdock's face, which was sporting a small smirk. Shit, did I say that out loud? "Pardon?"

"I said I box," Chef Murdock repeated. "It helps me blow off steam after service and focus when I'm stuck on a recipe."

"Ah, okay. So did your dad teach you how to fight?"

Chef Murdock shook his head. "No, he didn't want me to be part of that world, said he wanted better for me than to come home with bruises and broken ribs every night like he did. He encouraged me to focus on my education, said he didn’t want to see me have to struggle in life like he did."

You looked up at him as the two of you paused at a crosswalk. "I think he would be proud of you, you know."

Chef Murdock sighed. "I would hope so. Not sure he'd be too proud of the way I treated you when we first met the other day though."

You shook your head. "It’s okay, really. We all have our off days. And speaking of off days, do you get any time off to relax and do anything fun?"

Chef Murdock nodded. "I take Sunday after brunch service to relax and unwind. Sometimes Mondays too, but most Mondays I'm at the restaurant testing and perfecting new recipes."

"Like your apology tiramisu?"

Chef Murdock chuckled. "Yeah, but I'm also working on a few other recipes as well right now, appetizers and main dishes and such." 

You continued on as the crosswalk sign switched from 'stop' to 'walk'. "How long have you been at the Bulletin ?" Chef Murdock asked. 

"Five years," you replied. "I was at the Bugle for a little while before that, but the editor was only interested in unsubstantiated gossip and wouldn't let me write the kind of pieces I wanted to write."

"Which are human-interest stories?"

You nodded. "Don't get me wrong, I like to dig into a good investigative assignment just as much as the next journalist, but my stories don't always have to be hard-hitting exposés -- I want our readers to connect to the people I write about."

Chef Murdock looked contemplative. "That's admirable. So what made you want to be a journalist?"

"I've always loved listening to people talk about their lives and hearing about their hopes and dreams. One day I decided I wanted to be able to share their stories with the world and since I always had a knack for writing, I decided to become a journalist."

"Where did you go to school?"

You huffed out a light laugh. "Hey, who's interviewing who here?"

Chef Murdock grinned, his cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink. "Sorry."

You shook your head. "It's fine, I'm totally kidding. I just didn't think you'd want to hear me ramble on about myself."

Chef Murdock shook his head. "No, it's fine, I uh… Actually I really like your voice." 

Your face heated. "Oh."

Chef Murdock shrugged, suddenly looking a bit shy. "I mean, I can't recognize people by their looks, obviously, so I pay a lot of attention to people's voices. Yours sounds nice."

Your heart fluttered again. Chill out, he's not flirting with you. "Thank you. I, um, I went to Columbia, by the way."

Chef Murdock nodded. "I considered going there -- thought about being a lawyer for a while, but I ultimately decided to go to culinary school instead."

You could picture Chef Murdock in a business suit, arguing a case in front of a captivated jury. He certainly could sway my opinion. "Oh, wow, that's… quite a different career path."

"Yeah, I thought that was what my dad would have wanted me to do but I eventually realized that what he really would have wanted was for me to be happy and do what I love."

"Which is cooking."

Chef Murdock smiled. "Yeah, cooking really is my passion. I love taking different ingredients and putting them together in order to create something for people to enjoy."

"That's really nice."

The two of you slowed down as you reached the lot where the farmer's market was held. "Here we are," Chef Murdock said.

You looked at the expanse of booths. "So, um, if you don't mind me asking… how do you know which vendors are where?"

Chef Murdock smiled and shook his head. "No, I don't mind at all. The vendors all have assigned spaces, so I've learned to map out who is located where. Plus Foggy comes with me most of the time to help out, or Karen will if Foggy's not available."

"Oh, okay."

The two of you began walking down the first row of vendors. "So, what are we looking for?"

Chef Murdock shook his head. "We're just going to browse and see what we can find."

He slowed as you reached a booth featuring baskets of farm-fresh eggs. "We'll definitely need some eggs though."

You nodded. "Okay."

The two of you stopped at the booth.

"Good morning, Chef," the vendor said. "How can I help you today?"

"Morning, Oscar," Chef Murdock replied. "We'd like a dozen eggs, please."

"Of course." The vendor waved a hand at the baskets of eggs. "Take your pick."

Chef Murdock reached out and felt the eggs in one of the baskets. "We'll take these."

The vendor nodded. "Alrighty then."

He took the eggs out of the basket and set them in a cardboard carton. "That'll be $5."

Chef Murdock took his wallet out of his pocket and opened it before taking out a $5 bill and handing it to the vendor.

The vendor took it then handed Chef Murdock the carton of eggs. "Here you go, Chef. See you next week."

Matt gave the vendor a slight nod. "Thanks, Oscar. See ya."

The two of you continued on, stopping occasionally to chat with different vendors and purchase various fruits and vegetables. You watched in fascination as Chef Murdock took his time choosing each one, squeezing and smelling each individual item before deciding whether or not it was worth purchasing.

Finally you asked, "how can you tell if something is ripe or not?"

"Each individual fruit and vegetable has a distinct firmness and smell to them," Chef Murdock replied as the two of you stopped at a booth that was selling mangos. "I've learned to determine at what point they're at their ripest."

He picked up a mango. "Like mangos, for instance."

He took your hand and placed the mango in it. "Feel how firm this one is?"

You nodded, trying to focus on the fruit in your hand and not how Chef Murdock's touch was making your heart start to race. "Uh huh."

"Now smell it."

You held the mango up to your nose. "I don't smell anything."

"That means it's not quite ripe yet." Chef Murdock took the mango and set another one in your hand. "On the other hand, this one is a bit overripe."

You squeezed the mango, this one much softer than the other. "Okay."

Chef Murdock held a third mango up to your nose. "Smell this one."

You inhaled, a slightly mango-y scent filling your nostrils. "It smells like mango."

Chef Murdock nodded. "Exactly."

He swapped the mango currently in your hand with the one in his. "Now feel it."

You squeezed. It had more give than the first one but less than the second. "Okay, yeah, I can tell the difference."

"This one is perfectly ripe." Chef Murdock took the mango back, his fingertips slowly grazing your palm as he did so.

You swallowed. You couldn't deny that Chef Murdock was extremely attractive, but you were there to do your job, not lust after the man. Keep it professional.

You waited as he selected a few more mangos and paid the vendor before moving on. 

You reached the last row of booths and stopped in front of one called Claire-romatherapy.

The vendor walked over to the two of you with a smile on her face. "Morning, Matt."

Chef Murdock grinned. "Morning, Claire."

He turned to introduce the two of you. "Claire helps run the community garden near my apartment," he explained. "I grow herbs there."

"Ah, okay," you replied. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too," Claire said. "So what brings you two by today?"

Matt adjusted the bag he was carrying on his shoulder. "Actually, I'm almost out of that lemon soap and I was wondering if you had any in stock."

Claire nodded. "Actually, yeah, let me grab some for you. How many did you need today?"

"I'll take two. Thanks."

"Sure thing."

You picked up a soy-based candle and gave it a sniff, the subtle scent of coconut and mahogany filling your nose. "Mmm. How much are your candles?"

Claire glanced over at you from where she was sorting through a bin of various soaps. "Six for the smaller ones, ten for the large."

You nodded and went to dig your wallet out of your purse. 

Chef Murdock placed a hand on your arm. "I've got it."

You shook your head. "Oh, no, I couldn't possibly --"

"No, I insist." Chef Murdock smiled at you. "Considering I'm the one who dragged you out here at 8 AM on a Saturday it's the least I can do."

You bit your lip, then sighed as you put your wallet away. "Okay then. Thank you."

"Alright," Claire said, returning with Chef Murdock's soap. "Total comes to sixteen dollars."

Chef Murdock handed her some cash. "I'll see you next week, Claire."

"Okay. Take care, Matt." Claire turned towards you. "And it was very nice to meet you." 

"You too," you replied.

"Alright, I think that's everything," Chef Murdock said as the two of you walked back towards the entrance. "Let's get back to the restaurant."

You nodded as you headed down the sidewalk together, excited to find out what sort of culinary creation Chef Murdock had in mind.

"Okay," Matt said half an hour later as he set a plate of crepes topped with fresh fruit, honey, and whipped cream in front of where you sat at the prep counter in the kitchen at Daredevil.

After finishing up at the farmer's market the two of you had gone back to the restaurant, where you had watched Matt prepare breakfast.

Matt had admittedly shown off his skills a bit, making perfectly cooked crepes and slicing the fruit with culinary precision before making freshly whipped cream.

"Oh my gosh, this looks amazing," you said.

Matt smiled as he set his own plate down across from you. "Hopefully it tastes as good as it looks then."

He waited as you cut a piece and took a bite. He knew every ingredient was exactly as it should be but was still nervous about your reaction.

You let out a moan. "Ohmigod ."

Matt sucked in a breath, his mind wandering to other sorts of situations in which he could get you to make those pleased sounds for him. He knew you were attracted to him -- all of the physiological signs he had picked up on had pointed to such -- and the more he had gotten to know you over the past several days, the more attracted he found himself becoming towards you in return. 

He cleared his throat, fighting to keep his thoughts professional.  "Good?"

You made a sound of affirmation as you took another bite. "Please tell me that your crepes are on the Sunday brunch menu."

Matt chuckled as he took a bite of his own crepes. "As a matter of fact, they are."

You took a sip of the freshly-squeezed orange juice Matt had also prepared. "Mmm, good, because now I know what I'm doing tomorrow morning."

Come home with me tonight and I'll make you all the crepes you want. 

Matt could imagine himself in his apartment's kitchen, making breakfast as you sat at his kitchen island wearing nothing but one of his shirts after a night of passionate lovemaking.

He mentally shook his head. He would definitely need to blow off some steam at the gym after service tonight. "I'm glad you like them."

You made another pleased sound. "These are amazing, honestly."

The two of you continued eating in comfortable silence. Once you were finished, you set your fork onto your plate. "That was so good."

Matt smiled. "Thanks."

He picked up your plates and brought them to the sink to wash them later, then turned towards the receiving door as the bell rang. "Oh, excuse me one second."

He walked over and answered it, the smell of motor oil and fresh blood filling his nostrils. "Hey, Frank."

"Hiya, Red," Frank replied. "I've got your delivery for today."

Matt nodded. "Come on in."

Frank wheeled the cooler with the fresh meat Matt had ordered into the kitchen, pausing when he saw you. "I didn't realize you had company. I could've come later."

Matt shook his head before introducing you. "She's doing a profile on me for the Bulletin. "

He gestured back to Frank. "This is Frank Castle. He's our meat supplier for the restaurant."

"Nice to meet you," you said.

"Likewise, ma'am," Frank replied.

Matt took the clipboard Frank handed him, feeling for the sticky flag he needed to sign by. "Give me just a second to take care of this."

"Actually, I should get going," you said. "I'm sure you have to start prepping for service soon and I don't want to be in the way."

As much as Matt didn't want you to have to go, you were right. He nodded. "Give me just a second and I'll walk you out."

"Okay."

He finished signing off on the meat order and handed the clipboard back to Frank. "Thanks, Frank."

Frank shook his hand. "No problem, Red, see ya Tuesday. Ma'am."

"Nice to meet you," you said.

Matt waited until the rumble of Frank's truck faded off into the distance before turning back to you. "By the way, if you're ever looking for someone interesting to profile, Frank's your guy."

"Oh?" you replied curiously as he escorted you towards the front door.

Matt nodded. "He's a former military veteran who was shot in the head while overseas then lost his wife and kids in a shootout between two rival gangs."

You sucked in a breath. "Oh my gosh, that's awful."

"He became a rancher in order to help with the PTSD and is now one of the biggest beef suppliers in New York."

"I'll definitely keep him in mind then. Thanks."

You both paused as you reached the door. 

"I… I had a really nice time today, Chef Murdock," you finally said. "Thanks for everything."

"No problem." Matt rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Um, you know… you can call me Matt if you'd like."

"Okay," you said, a smile in your voice. "Thanks… Matt."

Matt smiled at the way his first name rolled off your tongue. "You're welcome."

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

Matt nodded. "Have Karen let me know that you're here and I'll come say hi."

"I will."

Matt unlocked the door. "See you tomorrow."

He sighed as he let you out then locked the door behind you. It was getting more and more difficult to fight the mutual attraction between you… and honestly, he wasn't sure if he even wanted to keep fighting it.

[greyghoulclub]

Getting Billy to admit he was head over heels for Steve was like pulling teeth. The guy was so goddamn stubborn with his denial, yet so obvious with his affections. Heather figured he’d rather dip his toes in boiling oil and say he was interested in being all ‘mushy and sappy’ as he put it with Steve Harrington.

Today was another one of those days. They were both on break from the pool and had decided to go into the mall to get some ice cream. In reality, Heather knew Billy just wanted to stare at Steve in the sailor shorts. Heather blew a pink bubble and popped it as she listened to Billy rant about what annoying-but-not-really thing Steve had done this week.

“He’s saying that he wants to see that new movie, uh, Back to the Future? Yeah that one. And that he wants me to come with him!” Billy said this as if it was the utmost offence that Steve wanted to take Billy to the movies. Heather thought it was so obvious that Steve was just as down bad for Billy as Billy was for Steve. She couldn’t see how Billy didn’t see this but she knew she could be just as oblivious to a crush.

The entrance to Scoops Ahoy stood out in all its maritime themed glory. It had been so humid in Hawkins the last week, the cool breeze from all the freezers was a welcome delight. Both Steve and Robin were on shift today, so Heather could get some girlfriend time while Steve and Billy got their whatever it was sorted out.

Heather smiled as Robin waved from the counter, the other girl had tied her hair up in two messy pigtails that Heather found oh so cute. Heather walked up with Billy bitching behind her.

“Hey cutie, how’s work?” Heather loved how cute Robin got when she was flustered, her blush almost eating all her freckles and extending to the tips of her ears.

“Uhmm g-good, you guys on break?” Robin fiddled with one of her rings, a nervous habit that Heather noticed she did a lot when they were talking.

“Yeah, I was wondering, do you wanna see a movie with me when we both get off? I miss spending time with you,” Heather pouted at the end of her sentence, looking over the top of her sunglasses, batting her lashes.

“Sure! Uh yes! I’d really like that, um, cherry…” Robin bit the corner of her bottom lip, Heather knew she was unsure of the new pet name she had bestowed but Heather thought it was cute.

“Cherry? I like it,” she linked her hands with Robin’s, red and black painted nails forming a pattern.

“You do? Because I thought, y’know you wear cherry lipgloss all the time and you always give me pet names, so I wanted to give you one… I’m rambling again aren’t I?”

“Yeah but you’re cute when you ramble s I don’t mind listening.”

If Robin could get any redder, Heather feared her girlfriend might explode. All of Robin’s circuits were going haywire.

Heather traced her thumb over Robin’s, “hey you wanna make it a double date for Back to the Future?”

Robin snapped back into reality, a confused look on her face, “with who?”

Heather smiled deviously. “Steve and Billy of course.”

Heather hadn’t noticed Steve standing at the back door, he must’ve come back to the front counter while Heather was flirting with Robin. He was just as red as his coworker.

Billy, for once, was stunned. “Did you just hit on Steve for me?”

“Yeah I did,” she grabbed Billy to go back to the pool, “see you guys at 8!” She waved back to the two gobsmacked sailors.

[rosyjn]

Just to let you know i didn't request because i thought you are busy rn with the October thing.

But

I had this in mind all morning (don't mind me I'm ovulating)

Jealous Sam taking Reader raw on doggy after she talked with a guy when they were a one party.

He was flirting, she didn't realise and just talked causally.

Idk how to explain it, this is way I know you will do an excellent job in it.

Love ya bye.

YESSIR

Sam Worthington x reader

warnings: rough, doggy p in v, hair pulling, clit play.

SMUT UNDER THE CUT👇MDNI

“Go ahead and take your dress off for me,” he hisses, closing the bedroom door behind him. You roll your eyes, sliding the strap of the garment off of your shoulder and walking in front of the bed. “You think that shit is funny?” he murmurs under his breath.

“Hmm?” you unzip your dress, freeing your breasts, then dropping it so that the dress bunches at your feet. You step out, leaning back onto the freshly made bed.

“Get those panties off, for fuck’s sake.” He takes off his blazer, his eyes filled with malice.

“You must be drunk again,” you suggest, annoyedly pushing the lace underwear off of your body, then kicking them to the floor with your dress.

“Why don’t you tell me why you were flirting with that guy?” he interrogates, unbuttoning his shirt. “You think that shit is cute? Hmm? Get on all fours. Face down, ass up.” He shoves his shirt away before quickly fiddling with his dress pants. He scans your body in the act. You’re bare, lying on the bed for him.

You sluggishly turn your body, pushing your ass up for him.

“We weren’t flirting-“ you begin.

“Save it,” he snaps, finally revealing his erection. He crawls onto the bed, the heat from his body traveling to yours. His breathing is unstable. You can’t tell if he’s horny or upset. He slaps his tip on your clit, evoking a moan from you.

He knows what he’s going to do. He’ll fuck you raw, pull your hair, cum inside of you over and over again until you’re screaming his name, then you’ll know who you belong to.

His fingers creep down to your heat. He slides a digit along your folds, feeling for your arousal. You mewl, pressing your face against the pillow as he teases you. His other hand creeps to your waist and grips to tightly. He wants to keep you in place, so you don’t try running from him. You want to smack him away- tell him that he’s such an asshole and crazy paranoid. But you can’t, not when he’s pleasuring you like this.

“Sam..” you squirm against his touch.

“No, none of that. You take it when I give it.” he smacks your ass quickly, before reaching down to grab his dick. You pout.

He thinks he’s real slick. Shoving his entire length in without warning you. He positioned his tip to your entrance, then shoved his hips into your ass. Your pussy squelches so goddamn loud. Your eyes clench shut while your walls struggle to adjust to his girth.

It amuses him to see you like this: a naked mess. Sam doesn’t wait for that pain to become pleasure. He ruts into you nonstop, fucking your cunt like a bunny.

Your hands grip into the bed, nails pressing into the mattress. That filling feeling, that burn, you can’t tell if it’s pain or pleasure. He fucks you raw, like an animal.

It’s not a bad feeling, it’s just overwhelming. Your clit just feels swollen, aching as he pounds into you. You know how stupid it must look- whining and trembling with Sam’s cock after flirting with another guy. Next time, you shouldn’t be so oblivious.

Your ass jiggles against his hips as he repeatedly ruts his frustrations into your poor little pussy.

“F-fuck!” your tongue lolls out of your mouth as your eyes roll back into your skull.

“Goin’ dumb already?” he teases, smacking your ass again. You arch your back further, desperate for him to fill you up. “Whose pussy is this?” he asks, pinching your clit. You cry out in response, shocked by the stimulation.

“Yours! It’s all yours!” You yelp.

“That’s right, and I’m gonna fill you up,” he leans down to whisper in your ear, tugging on your hair. His thrusts do not cease, instead growing faster. “You’re gonna have my cum leaking outta ya,”

“Y-yes sir,” you reply, feeling that familiar tightness in your abdomen, threatening to snap. Sam lets go of your hair, and your head drops back down onto the pillow. You bite the soft cotton, trying to suppress your moans. The bed bounces wildly back and forth as he fucks you.

He has a love-hate relationship with your naïveté. Even if you didn’t know it, he can’t stand the way you were getting too comfortable with another guy at a party. But at the same time, he loves the way your sweet eyes look at him, when you turn him on accidentally, and especially your body, even though you can’t control it.

“Shut your mouth,” he snaps. He knows he won’t be able to control himself if you keep making those pretty noises. You dig your face even further in the pillow, trying to silence yourself.

Your hand reaches back, grabbing his hand which still grips on your waist. You pick your head up, turning to watch the sight of your ass bouncing on him.

“Mmph! Ah!” You gasp for air, breathing through your mouth. His cock still screws into you at a relentless pace. “So deep!”

“Maybe, maybe if you say sorry, I’ll give you a break. But I’m not done with you.” His thrusts grow more desperate, more powerful. He’s gonna cum soon.

“Yes! Yes, I’m sorry! I’m sorry, daddy!” You’re so needy for him. He starts to pound you slower, his cum spilling into your walls. It’s so warm. You pant, closing your eyes as you feel him release himself into you.

“Get your shit together,” he adds, pulling out of you. A white string of cum exits your pussy as well, dripping down your folds. Your back remains arched as your pussy still clenches. He sits back on his haunches, admiring the sight.

“I will, promise.” Your back falls down and your body bounces on the bed. Sam watches as your ass jiggles. Your breathing is finally slowing down.

“Good, now turn over and spread ‘em again.”

[sketchfanda]

A Little Moxxie Love Party

Never too fucked to Drink, Never too drunk to Fuck!!

Moxxie should've had a feeling that it was too good to be true and given the situation he now found himself in, that was certainly the case. It'd all seemed to be going well to boot, but really he should've seen red flags from the moment after the duo of himself and his erstwhile employer completed a recent job, with Blitz having decided to celebrate by going to a bar and he'd be buying!! Lo and behold, being the crass, crude imp he was,he chose a local watering hole by the name Juggernauts and Knockers (The name implying clearly its main attrction was their ultra buxom, easy on the eyes waitresses and barmaids) in which the pairstarted to drink like there was no tomorrow But as the night goes by, at some point Blitzø decided to drink and dash leaving him of course to pay the big bill (a really large sum at that, figures being the hedonist he was, the former circus kid had no restraint on his liquor consumptions), the rat bastard!! Was it any wonder the guy left enough exes in his wake to fill up a whole party list?!!

So here Moxxie was, stuck on Earth and clearly not having enough money to pay off such a tab completely and oh yeah really starting to feel particular tipsy and woozy, what was an imp to do? Yet in his spiraling drunken haze, he got a bright idea, so it seemed, to try and strike a deal with their waitress and server for the evening, a tanned, toned and oh so stacked blonde by the name Titania (Either her parents had bad taste or fate had a weird sense of humour) that if he can please her sexually? Then she would forget about the bill and he could be off on his merry way to his lovely wife, his wonderful sexy lady friends and his boss who he swore he was going to kick in his goddamned crotch when he saw him!! Yeah as you can tell, he was nearing the amount of drunk levels he was that infamous Spring Break....

Now Titania was' too much of a dumb blonde airhead, okay maybe somewhat of a bimbo and okay maybe she was sexually active enough to warrant being called a slut but she wasn't too stupid. Any guy that would try to flirt with her while clearly blotto had to have quite a spine and a decent sized pair. An admittedly, he was kind of cute and just so funny with his drunk talk. She wasn’t sure who this Millie was but she sounded like a very lucky girl..

Which might be why she accepted the imp’s radical little offer of sex in exchange for waiving off the very sizeable tab and opted to take him back to her apartment soon as her shift was over. She didn’t even like to drunk toss or take a rando customer back for some fun but this was a particular exception to say the least. Though soon as she got him inside and shut the door, she found he was quite the kisser which had her wondering how good he could be when sober. But wow was she feeling a little drunk herself right now on a sudden rush of passion and arousal as that tongue of his worked some quite powerful sensual magic on her…..

Before she knew it, she was naked on the couch with the tipsy possum’s head diving between her legs as he ate out her dribbling snatch. The blonde bar tender babe moaning as her mind was being blown by the talented little mouth snd tongue of Moxxie, grasping her horns while he caressed and massaged her hips and thighs. Most guys always tended to go right for her tits but this drink sweetheart was a different type of beast. He mayve been too fucked to drink but not damn he sure as hell wasn’t too drunk to fuck!!

But imagine her shock and awe when she decided to try return the favour, wide eyed and gobsmacked at the sight of the demonic length and girth the little imp somehow managed to pack in his pants. The scent and heat radiating off of that twitching, pulsing slab of a cock before Moxxie, in his tipsy state of being, got impatient as he grabbed her long blonde mane and suddenly thrust pumped it into her mouth. The sudden facefuck ambush catching her off guard as her pussy erupted like a geyser, orgasmic nectar squirting in response to the deep, intense onslaught which only skyrocketed soonas Moxxie had her flat on her back. The drunk imp stud straddling her midriff as he held her juicy titties between his shaft, the tip penetrating her luscious lips while her face and jugs became sprayed with his hot seed….

Titania was used to having men be putty in her hands, simps willing to just lie there and have her do all the work as soon as she flashed them a wink, a smile and her twins. And yet this sweet freckle little possum was so assertive, so dominant, somehow making love to her yet using her as a sex toy all the at the same time as she was soon screaming and moaning her head off. Bouncing and riding on his big red imp cock as he squeezed her ass in his grasp, sitting on her damn couch like a king on his throne, legs around his waist as she hugged and eld his head between her tits. Tongue dancing with his in a sloppy kiss as pink hearts glowing in her eyes as this sex machine from hell laid claim to her in mind, he’s art, body and soul.

It only became a more intense bond of such lust forming between them as Moxxie showed no signs of stopping his relentless fucking, his state of drunkenness dampening his sense of inhibition and restraint. Much to Titania’s delight as she became drunk on the absolute high of orgasms the imp brought out of her as he mucked her all over her apartment. From being bent over the kitchen counter as he took her from behind like the bitch in heat she was being claimed as to her bed threatening to break as Moxxie plowed her in a mating press. The blonde screaming and moaning as she hollered loud enough for all of Springfield to hear, making her the envy of many women though a certain single mom felt a sense of deja vu tingling in her own loins…

The next morning, Moxxie came to wake up more hungover than alive, the poor little guy clutching his sweet little head as he squinted his eyes at the rays of sunlight. His aches soothed by a sweaty, sticky naked Titania who purred and giggled as she gave the little love machine a morning kiss. Scooping the confused little possum into her arms as she carried him into the bathroom and decided they should shower together which would naturally lead to a second round of spicy, erotic passion. She felt it only right as this was the one spot in her apartment they hadn’t gotten around to doing it in last night, besides which the little dude had pretty much earned it.

One quickie,a waffle and pancake breakfast later and some contact details exchanged including a spicy sealed with a kiss photo, she sent him off and out in his way. The imp checking is phone to find a texts and messages from Millie and a few others no doubt concerned to where he was and asking if he needed a portal home. It was a nice reminder knowing he was so well loved so imagine his fun to come back to the IMP office to find Mr.Sketch strangling Blitzo. Seems his second boss was nine too pleased with his first boss for pulling s dine and dash and was no doubt trying to choke him in a way he wouldn’t get off on it..lt was a challenge to say the least..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gimme some Sugar,baby....

It wasn’t often Moxxie food moments to himself like this but here he was alone in his apartment with nobody but himself for company, a rare bit of peace and quiet. He had the day off from IMP and even Mr.Sketch hadn’t had any work or need for him down at the studio for today at least. But he didn’t even had any of his regular lady friends in his social life present either, all of them preoccupied with different matters. Millie was visiting her family up in Wrath, Verosika and her crew had work on a new album to oversee, Glitz and Glam had clown business, even Loona was busy.

So he had peace and quiet but noone to enjoy it with, sure it could be overwhelming but there was always something nice about being all cosy and warm with a woman after sexually rocking her world. Their faces in ecstasy as they welcomed his sensual embrace, criminy he'd be up for whatever Mr.Sketch might’ve needed of him if he had anything at all. But here he was going bored out of his mind even hoping that damn ritual would come calling him up to whatever curious or lonely horny babe needed him for company. Never let it be said that Fate didn’t throw a bone for our favourite little possum as he heard a knock in the door.

Getting up from his seat, he went on over and answered it to find himself greeted by an exotic zebra mare. This was Jessica, one of the lovely residents and fellow tenants of the modest apartment building Moxxi and his lovely wife called home. And to say she was easy in the eyes would be an understatement to say the very least, sensually smiling his way as she casually leaned against the doorframe. Her body language really giving off some distinct vibes as she eyed our favourite little possum like he was a sweet treat.

Jessica:”Hey handsome, hope I’m not being a bother but was wondering if you could be a good neighbour and let a gal borrow some sugar?”*Of course that was an absolute lie, the stripe mare had plenty back in her apartment. But she felt like today was the prefect chance to finally make a move in that adorable little imp a few doors down. Relishing just how cute he looked as she idly waved her coffee mug in hand, the item baring the phrase “Down to Fuck” shamelessly in big bold letters. Truth be told, she had a very different sweetener in mind over sugar and it was a cute little imp who was sweet enough already….*

That was how Moxxie found himself with his back up against the wall, straddling the grey colored mare's shoulders as he grasped her electric blue mane. Groaning as she was giving him an intense blowjob, sucking and blowing on his cock as her tongue licked it all over its length and girth. Deepthroating him with abandon as her pussy quivered and drooled in anticipation of wanting this hot fuckhammer pounding it as soon as possible. Well Moxxie could say he was in good company like he'd been wishing for but ho damn was Jessica a thirsty one!!

But of course once she had her fill of his cream in her stomach, she had another mouth eager to be fed that sweet, manly sugar of his as she now straddled his lap while he sat on the couch. Her striped, furry booty riding and bouncing on his cock as the muscles of those inner walls kissed, stroked and massaged every inch of that length and girth penetrating them. The Hellzebra and imp naked and sweating as they made sweet rut with a little neighborly passion, hands clasped as Jessica gladly found any and every past lover being put to shame by the freckled sweetheart. Now this was a cock to be a good measuring bar for sexual standards, no wonder he was such a talented little pornstar!!

Moxxie and Millie’s apartment was no stranger to having sounds of passion occur within its walls, it was more a case of what new woman would be the newest addition to the string of conquests. And ooh Jessica was an absolute screamer to say the very least as she urged the imp to fuck her like she was one of his porn stars!! The slick wet sounds of her pussy being pounded and hammered with relentless passion as she was currently being taken doggy style, her mane in his grasp as his free hand squeezed one of her tits. Her striped, furry ass jiggling and clapping with every impact of their loins smacking together as their pleasure only skyrocketed….

Any ennui (Fancy French word for boredom for you moody hipster types) Moxxie had before was pretty much nonexistent thanks to the HellZebra Mare. The apartment echoing with the primal rhythm of the age old dance of man and woman as she gladly, willingly took his cock like a pro. From her pussy to her ass to her mouth and full circle, over and over from prone bonje to cowgirl, over the kitchen counter or up against the wall, not even a shower was enough to dampen their lust and passion as they made sweet hot fuck under the steamy water. When Jessica came looking for sugar, ooh did she ever get it...

When they were finally done, it was late in the afternoon as the Zebra hottie was dressing herself back up, tucking a naked, spent Moxxie nice and snug in bed. Planting a sweet, soft kiss on his lips as thanks for the "sugar" as she made her departure from the apartment, a distinct sway and sashay to her lovely hips. Humming a sensual tune as she felt so well fucked and filled, she walked by Millie who had come back to town from visiting her family, shooting her a wink and a smile as she resumed her trek back to her own place. The wrath shortstack surprised and puzzled until she noticed a small puddle where Jessica had briefly stood.

A quick sniff as she scooped it up into her fingertips, she shuddered with orgasmic bliss at recognizing the scent, texture and with a flick of her tongue, the taste of her husband's flavor. Ah nothing like her Moxxie's hot cream leaking down some hottie's thighs and mixed with their particular nectar and this mare was especially sweet. Always warmed her heart and stirred her libido knowing her man's needs were tended to by the kindness and horniness of a slutty stranger. She'd have to remember to ask him for details and names later soon as he was woke up.......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personal Ass-istant

Moxxie:*Just simply stared deadpan at the sight before him, looking back and forth between his employer Mr.Sketch and the other person standing in the room. He’d figured at this point that he would be used to the quirks and eccentricities of his boss, sure he was less of a pain in the ass than Blitz. And for a maker of adult entertainment in Hell, he was quite the creative visionary certainly. But as he stood in the Enigma’s office, he knew this was going to be one of those days.*”I’m sorry, what?!”

Mr.Sketch:”Like I said, I figure you deserve a personal assistant of your own, someone to handle some of your day to day affairs here at the studio. So this here is Ingrid, hope you two will get along. No worries, she comes very highly recommended and I’m told she’s quite efficient in her work…”*The flaming skill headed smut peddler droned on as he introduced and sung the praises of the woman in the office. She was quite the looker and actually looked out place because well, she seemed so human, albeit very exotic with that pink hair and dark skinned complexion. And her business wear seemed intent on highlighting that stunning as all fuck body of hers, seemingly non-chalant to the amount skin and cleavage on display her golden eyes locked their gaze in the impboi. Which only made Moxxie nervous but with good reason mind you.”

Of course it’d likely be because he knew damn well who Ingrid was and it damn sure as hell wasn’t some sort of business woman, oh no this happened to be the infamous Hell Knight herself. At one time the loyal and devoted right hand woman and enforcer of the notorious Overlord Edwin Black but it seemed she'd had a falling out with her now former employer. Who according to rumours had fallen on hard times but that was neither here nor there because Moxxie was wondering just why in all the Sin Circles was she here, at a PORN studio?! Besides the fact she was being given a job as his personal assistant of course but really did a porn star even need such a thing?!

But he knew trying to debate Mr.Sketch about it would be akin to trying to ice-skate up hil and so he just decided to roll with it and accept it. Much to the Enigma's delight of course as he sent the two on their way, insisting they get acquainted which was how and why they now found themselves in Moxxie's dressing room. The imp finding the silence comfy at least as Ingrind simply sat stoic yet sexy looking, adjusting her spectacles before taking the initiative to speak as she felt it was a prudent time for her and her new employer to get to know one another better.

Which was likely how Moxxie should've expected that this would naturally lead to her servicing him orally as he sat in the chair of his personal dressing room. The pink haired ex demon knight's golden eyes burning with flames of lust as she licked and sucked on his shaft like it was the finest treat she'd ever found herself enjoying. Drowning it in a healthy coating of her saliva as she bobbed head up and down like a lewd piston, blowing on the infernally generous cock of her new employer. Sensually humming and moaning as her body surged with arousal through her veins, hoping she was making a very good first impression as his new personal assistant.

Of course Moxxie's cries of pleasure were plenty good indication she was doing a good job of it but personally, she felt she could be, no should be doing much better to provide him comfort and relief. After all with his sure to be hectic work schedule and routine, he was sure to be pent up with stress and she was to see to it that would not be the case!! Which was why she whipped her glorious milk chocolate tits free from the confines of her coat and performed a titfuck on his shaft, smothering his length and girth as her lips and tongue worked their oral magic on the pumping, thrusting tip. The former hell knight feeling her pussy quiver and ache, nectar flowing down her thighs as her desire to sexually relieve her new employer grew and burnt deeper.

But of course after being so riled up and aroused by this exotic former warrior woman, he couldn't help but pounce and take this little comfort session to its next natural step. Ingrid now naked save for her heels and stockings as her new lord and master (In her mind, screw Edwin Black!!) asserted his dominance and properly taught her her place in the pecking order. Bent over the make-up counter and pressed up against the cool surface of the mirror, deep throated moans and gasps of pleasure escaping her luscious lips as Moxxie pounded and hammered her from behind. Her lovely tits rubbing against the reflective surface while her booty cheeks clapped and jiggled to every pounding of that pelvis and those swaying balls hitting her clit, a growing puddle of her juices as they rained down on the floor beneath them.

She was loving every moment of this as her body memorized every detail and became erotically acquainted with the sexually gifted imp who exceeded her expectations. Her legs giving out as she fell into downward dog to doggy style and soon prone bone to being plowed like a sexual butter churn rolling into a mating press and then a piledriver. Her fishnet legs wrapped around his waist as she didn't want to break their connection, feeling it only right Moxxie lay his claim to her by flooding her womb with his hot, white seed. She'd watched some his work prior to their meeting to better research and understand who and what she'd be dealing with but sweet inferno were her expectations exceeded!!

One relief session later, which had included quite a few creampies, even a few shot into her ass and some stomach filling facefucks, the imp and his new personal assistant were dressed clean and sharp. You'd hardly be able to tell they'd just gone and fucked unless you had the sharp senses of a Hellhound or a sex demon like a succubus asthey met up with Mr.Sketch. Moxxie's expression deadpan as he simply shook the Enigma's hand, making it clear he would accept the offer of Ingrid as his new personal assistant. Much to the flaming skullheaded eccentric's satisfaction, you could just tell he felt this went just as planned.....

Suffice to say Ingrid proved herself to be quite capable and reliable as a personal Ass-istant, ensuring plenty of erotic relief and comfort for Moxxie. Which saw quite the improvement in his performance for scene shoots and believe you me, he was no slouch already before hand but now he'd gone from a 10 to 11 and reaching a hundred. Which was seeing quite a bonus in his and the former Hellknight's paychecks but for Ingrid, the imp's satisfaction was a much more enjoyable payment and the monetary gain was a mere bonus in and off itself. To say nothing of the glorious day she'd find herself baring and carrying a child for him....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More like Le-Bomba!!

It was one of your routine IMP missions of course, go to the living world and off whoever their client wanted dead, this target in particular inhabited a hectic little ghetto neighbourhood around Canada. The client or clients rather, had pooled every Mammon buck they could find or had on them to pay the basic fee plus a little extra for the misfit Assassin team to make sure the guy really got it coming. Seems he was a pain in the ass for everyone alike be they man or woman, black or white, your atypical Ninja just going out and about being an irrational, trivial troublemaker especially within the community. Though it was peculiar to have to deal with the target in the Great White North of all places but hey money talks, right?

Now of course finding the target had been easy enough, killing him was a whole other matter entirely. Because of course his type always ran around with hoards of other like minded Ninjas who bonded in a synthesis over their shared love of irrational, trivial bullshit. And they were armed to the teeth of course which saw our merry band of misfits making their run being pursued by angry ignorant ninjas trying to riddle them with bullets. Leave it to Blitzo to have one of his rare food ideas for them to split up and try turn things around before getting out of dodge and back to Hell sweet Hell.

This was how Moxxie came to find himself dealing with his own band of ninjas, gunning them in down in self defence when somehow in the fray he found himself flying through the air and crashing through somebody’s window. Landing right in a hot bubble bath and causing whoever was using it to scream, the sweet possum poking his head through the warm water to get an eyeful of a naked, soaking wet hot black woman who was understandably shocked and confused. Only to get a kissed look on her face at finding that someone had thrown a wild possum into her place, a horned one at that as Moxxie eroded when she grabbed him by a horn. Picking him up to glare at him which made him wonder if he was better off with the Ninjas…..

As it so happened, the homestead our sweet possum had wound up in belonged to Leshawna, 3 season veteran of the infamous Total Drama reality series, the girl with the ‘Tude as they called her. And she was having a nice night until either someone had a funny idea throwing a possum into her home or some perv in a possum costume was trying to get fresh with her. Thinking he could come in here and get a look at her goods without consequences? Even if he was kind of cute looking with those freckles and that adorable little bow tie….and it had been way too long since she got any…

Which might be why she had stripped Moxxie naked and had him sitting in the edge of the bathtub, her lips around his shaft which she was amazed to find was quite the big one. Sucking and blowing on that length and girth as the scent and taste drove her wild, her suds soaked, glistening milk chocolate form moving in enticing ways. Drawing the imp’s attention to her bodacious booty as those cheeks clapped and jiggled hypnotically, calling to the imp with a siren song that one thing clear . She was down to fuck and she wanted it good, deep and hard.

To which our sweet little possum gladly obliged of course as he had the girl with the 'tude bent over the tub and up against the wall. Mounted atop her backside with his arms wrapped around her waist as he humped and pumped his quite powerful little pelvis against that glorious set of chocolate orange booty cheeks. Making those cocoa colored drums clap like thunder as his cock jackhammered into her snatch with rabid abandon and primal desire, causing Leshawna to moan deeply as she experienced the best damn lay of her lifetime. She wasn't sure what was up with this cute little mutant or where he came from exactly but damn could he fuck!!

It was ironic she had been bathing to clean herself up as she was now just getting dirtier with the freckled little love machine, wet crimson skin rutting against glistening milk chocolate as the shower head had been turned on. Hot steamy water raining down on them as Moxxie had her pinned up against the wall, lips pressed against hers as their tongues danced a little game of spitswap and tonsil hockey. Moans escaping her pouty lips as the thicc brickhouse ghetto girl was amazed to find how strong he was for a little guy but given how well he could fuck, was it any surprise? Especially whenever he'd let loose and pump some of that hot load her way......

The babe with the 'tude and the sweet little thespian were soon out of the bathroom and in the bedroom as the springs in the mattress squeaked and creaked against the heavy primal rhythm of their fucking. The pair rolling around between cowgirl to missionary to mating and amazon press to Leshawna taking it from behind until she was flat on her front as her arms and legs couldn't keep their strength. From being filled in her womb and booty to gulping down mouthfuls as she took whatever the imp sent her way until she just couldn't keep up with that stamina anymore. Passing out after one last shared climax together, a blissful smile on her face as her thighs flowed with excess baby batter.....

Moxxie was panting as he looked over the sexually satisfied black queen, his attention caught by the distinct sound of his wife's melodic giggle. Looking over to the window in the bathroom he'd crashed through as he spotted the aforementioned kinky pixie who had no doubt seen quite a bit of that and judging by the flicker of arousal in her eyes had certainly enjoyed it. No doubt she'd want details but first thing's first, it was time for them to hustle and make their way back to Hell, they'd managed to ditch and waste their pursuers. It had been bloody to say the least especially with Millie doing a lot of the massacring.

It had just been a matter of finding Blitzo since had the means to get them back home, for the time being and suffice to say their boss looked like he'd been through the ringer. They weren't sure how or why but for some reason he had a rainbow afro wig glued onto his head..which was oddly fitting given his old circus clown background and all. But was best they didn't ask, somethings you're just better off not knowing you know? Much like how it was best he didn't know what Moxxie had been up to, the imp's sex life was none of his business!!

[cdyssey]

Abbott 2.15 Thoughts:

ABBOTT TIME. I drew this last night because I didn’t have the episode to obsess over.

“I am one minor inconvenience away from putting this whole day in rice.” What a glorious expression, omg.

Ava about Jacob’s carrot cookies: “Mm, no. Just looking at them almost put me over the top.” WKWJWNSNS. Also, Ava’s entirely pink pantsuit, omfg. Hot.

Melissa having her kids in line two seconds into the fire alarm vs. Ava HIGH-TAILING it OUT OF THERE QKQKWNDNSKAK. (It’s funny and so consistent with what we know about her!! She’s a Doomsday prepper! She’s always fearing the worst!)

YOU’RE FUCKING KIDDING ME. I WAS ANGST-POSTING ABOUT BARB’S CANDLE ACCIDENTALLY BURNING HERS AND MEL’S TABLE AND IT HAPPENED!!!!!!!!! LISTEN!

Mel: “Because as someone who wanted to be a firefighter, I hate fires. They sicken me. I want to fight them.” / Barb: “Smoke and fire—the devil’s fresh air.” Get you two girlfriends who have very strong opinions about fires.

The actor who plays Captain Robinson looks so familiar to me, omg. I’ve seen this dude before, but WHERE?

QQKWJWNWJEJEJDDJ, Ava’s prepper video. She’s gonna fight fire with fire.

“Facebook crashing—that’s for the older teachers… and a lice outbreak—for the white teachers.” Lmfao.

“Oh, my God. Someone’s trying to use cashmere and Jesus to blackmail Barbara.” / “You mean frame.” / “Semantics.” QOQOQKQMSNDNSJSJJSS. Name another show on air rn that’s funnier than this. Goddamn.

Mel about a fire truck: “Yeah, that’s—that’s one big daddy.” SOBBING. DON’T SAY IT LIKE THAT.

“That’s where youse all work those cute little puppy dog eyes to get the firefighters to let us play on the truck.” AOQMQWNSN. She is so fucking adorable.

Mel’s uncle being a firefighter and Joe maybe having been a firefighter!

“Wow… would you look at this big hunk of”—the firefighter assumes she’s coming over to flirt—“metal.” AKQWMENDJE.

“See, this is why I love fire trucks. I get older—they stay the same.” WOQOWJDNS. I’m losing it.

HOT COUNSELOR. WE DID IT, FANDOM. WE MANIFESTED HOT COUNSELOR.

“It is late morning, and the container is still completely full. I’ll pass.” QQKWJWJWJSJSJSDS.

“Me? Oh, I’m just fine.” Barbara Howard being in full mask mode. Oh, my God.

“Are you writing I’m fine?” / “Well, that’s a lot of writing for ‘I’m fine.’” / “It’s just two words and one of them is a contraction.” Not only does Barbara have to assert to herself that she’s fine, but she also has to be externally validated that other people are buying into her outward shields as well.

“So if there’s anyone to blame, it would be the wind.” 😭 Sobbing.

“Yes, but it seems like you’re an investigator of feelings. And I want you to know that I am feeling just fine.” Barbara spiraling. Y’all, I can’t do this.

Janine trying to use the trauma counselor like a therapist. 😭

Mel showing off her knowledge about fire trucks. This girl is hyperfixated!!!! She’s just like me, fr!! AKANSNSS, her getting inside the truck and honking the horn.

Gregory needing to put on his sweater + that little smirk he gives to the camera. AJWNDNS. God, I love him. / The counselor going, “We’ll dig into that later.” WKWKEJDNS.

“I’ve longed for protocol. This is the best day of my life.”

Gregory guessing that almost everyone in the book except for Barbara is not well-adjusted because no one expects for her to fall apart. She’s so good at keeping it together. Oh, my fucking GOD. (Also, lmao, at Mr. Johnson being the singlemost well-adjusted man the counselor has ever met.)

“I’m talking about Barbara Howard.” / “Are you sure don’t mean Janine?” NOT GREGORY GESTURING AT KID HEIGHT. ANQJWJKWDJ.

“Nothing shakes up people more than a fire. There’s usually something under the surface.” / “I feel like you’re reading her wrong. Barbara is the most put together and collected person at this school.” Sobbing. And then Barbara comes in AGAIN to reiterate that she’s fine. She has to hear SOMEONE ELSE tell her and confirm that she’s fine. She’s so insecure if she perceives that people aren’t buying her “I’m fine/I’m perfect” shtick. JESUS. I’m so normal about Barbara Howard.

WOQQKSJSJS. Barbara has never listened to Chaka Khan’s “Through the Fire” on her PANDORA. That is such a perfect detail. These writers know their characters so well.

Gregory coming to check in on Barbara. 🥺

“You are not a principal, Gregory. You are but a child.” HELP.

“I’m as good as it gets. Perfect, even.” I am UNWELL about this woman.

“Gregory, I am spiritually tenured. Mandates are nothing more than fervent suggestions. Ava would let me skip this.” QOQKQKWKWIEJDNSNSN. I know all my Barbava friends screamed.

“And don’t you think that if anyone should attend the fire safety meeting, it should be you, considering…?” 😭😭

“My shawl caught fire on a stained-glass Jesus candle. Nobody got hurt. So why don’t we all just put this ordeal behind us and move forward?”

Gregory putting his foot down!!!

“I miss Ava.” THE EMPHASIS IN MRS. BARBARA HOWARD’S VOICE. WKWNSNS. JERI, JERI, ARE YOU OKAY?

Melissa’s kids being bored af akkwjwiwjdnsw.

Gregory confiding in Janine about his worries about Barb, and Janine immediately going through the gamut of concerned questions. 😭 That’s their MOM.

“Doesn’t even make sense. Why would a fire own sunglasses?” Lmfao.

“Less of a question and more of a comment. I could run this meeting in my sleep.” Her energy in this episode GOD.

Melissa’s dreams of being a firefighter crushed by misogyny. 😭

“You can’t spell firefighter without ‘her.’” JACOB KQOQKWWKEJD.

Teddie trying to be Barbara’s supporters behind her, but Gregory getting himself into some deep shit by intuiting that Barbara’s insecurity is “getting older and becoming forgetful.” Melissa, indignant, protective: “What the hell?”

“You have no idea the nonsense that teachers get away with here repeatedly, but the one time I light a candle for peace of mind, without ever having a prior problem, you want to take it away from me. Well, that is unfair and ridiculous!” I AM SOBBJNG.

MEL RUNNING AFTER HER. THOSE ARE MY WORK WIVES.

Barbara in her classroom, arms crossed over her chest, breathing heavily. Hhhgh, and Mel immediately showing up to console her.

WOWOQKSNSJW, MEL TRYING TO CONSOLE HER VIA SHOWING HOW HOT SHE LOOKS NEXT TO A FIRE TRUCK. “Hard to be mad when I look that good.”

“Your hair matches the truck. Marvelous.” This is a funny line, but the way Barbara’s voice is on the verge of breaking. I’m going to McFucking lose it, and Melissa hears it too.

“You wanna talk about it?” Barbara initially shakes her head and repeats the same refrain she’s been peddling all episode, “I’m fine.” But then, because it’s Melissa, because she feels safe with her, she turns around and confides. “Been dealing with Gerald’s health.” There are tears in my eyes.

Melissa, wide-eyed, so goddamn tender: “Barb.” / “We had a prostrate situation.”

Melissa puts a hand on Barbara’s arm: “Oh, no. Oh, my gosh. Is he okay?” All of the mirth Mel has displayed throughout the entire episode is gone. She’s so present and sensitive to Barbara Howard.

“Yeah, doctor call this morning, said he is in the clear.” / Melissa, exhaling in relief: “Oh, thank God.” / “But those PSA numbers came back high. And y-y’know, the past few days, just waiting to find out the results, it’s been stressful.” / “Of course. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t know.” Melissa’s voice being as gentle as it is literally going to break me.

“Well, all I could do was light my candle and pray… what was I gonna do? Sit around and worry about it all day? That never does any good.” Sheryl Lee Ralph, I’m sending you my therapy bill, and also nominating you for another Emmy. 😭

“Right? That’s life. Just always something coming at ya. You just gotta keep on truckin’.”

“I mean, if we were to blab every time life got hard, we would be…” / “Janine.” / GOD WKQOWKWDNKEJWJEJDNSS.

“Janine,” Barbara repeats, and they both laugh. Melissa teased that beautiful laugh out of her, and you can see that Barb has exhaled a little bit, just being able to confide in one of the people she loves and trusts most in this world. Don’t talk to me for 3-7 business days. I’m a WRECK.

“Oh, I’m glad he’s okay, honey.” And Mel goes in for the hug, but Barb’s back in composure mode, and she resists the full version. She’s still clearly… unsettled. 😭

MEL STEALING THE FIREFIIGHTER’S KEYS SJSJIWJS.

IT’S A FIFTY-SEVEN STEP RECIPE. AKQKWNSNWJS.

Jacob engineering a situation where they can use the aerial for Melissa. That’s his work mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Well, either way, I will not be lighting my candle anymore. And that’s life, right? Right?” 😭 Life has only taught her that she has to repress the things that give her comfort. Ma’am.

BARBARA CONSOLING HER STUDENT. I’M INCONSOLABLE.

“You know it’s okay to feel scared. You don’t have to pretend that you’re not. Pretending can make it harder.” And then she reaches out and offers the student her hand. “You know; sometimes Mrs. Howard gets scared… and upset too.” Her smile briefly falls, her mask. “And that’s okay. Okay?” I’m sk fucking. I am 😭😭😭

MELISSA ON THE AERIAL!!!!!! JACOB BEING PUMPED.

“Ooh, should she really be up there in heels?” / “She’s wearing a helmet.” AKQOQKWISNSJ

“Hey, why don’t you try playing a sport that actually involves balls—like downhill skiing.” AQoqojqqoJQJWJDJD.

The Schemmentis being a legend. 😭 THE FIRE BEING STARTED BY HER OTHER UNCLE. “And I’m not snitching. He’s proud of it!”

Barbara clearing things up with the counselor!!! The counselor suggesting a day off!!!!!!!!! The counselor KNOWING that she can’t call it a mental health day because Barbara would never take it because she doesn’t consider her mental health as being a valid reason for taking care of herself. 😭

Barb taking the day off!!!!!!!!

“Just because you’ve got a round face like the Teletubbies sun baby doesn’t mean that the world revolves around you.” OQKQWKSNSNSN, AVA, MA’AM, I MISSED YOU. They write the funniest shit for her.

Ava trying to send Barb to the spa!! Barb spending time with her hubby. Listen, I’m sentimental.

MELISSA THINKING THE COOKIES ARE DELICIOUS SJSJDJS.

Perfect, perfect, perfect episode. I’m not going to stop thinking about it for five weeks. Oh, my God.

[landograndprix]

belong with me ✾ c.s

summary – Carlos simply doesn't care about what people have to say about him, at the end of the day you choose to be with him.

requested – yes! – I would love to see a Carlos insta au where no one can believe he’s dating a supermodel and everyone’s always reminding him about how she’s so far out of his league !!!

☆☆☆☆☆

y/nusername

liked by carlossainz55 and 1,021,672 others

y/nusername working hard or hardly working? 🍷

tagged: vogueitalia

view all 2.789 comments

hannaahhh 😍😍😍😍

charloss_5516 so this is Carlos' new girlfriend? 😭

chilisainzz apparently!

charloss_5516 well goddamn how did he bag her, lmao no offense but she's way out of his league 😂

chilisainzz I'm sure y/n thinks differently ;)

zoeyeee marry me pls

lauren11 how does it feel to live my dream life? 🥲

c55rlossainz Carlos you lucky bastard

norrisfour4 hope Carlos can fight because I sure can

carlossainz55 ❤️‍🔥

charles16l simp

y/nusername 💕

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y/nusername

liked by carlossainz55, francisca.cgomes and 1,237,812 others

y/nusername thank you milan, you always treat me right ♡

view all 2,983 comments

francisca.cgomes you looked stunning, like always ❤️

y/nusername take a look at yourself love ❤️

bott_ass omg she's already becoming besties with the other wags 😭

hazel1999 I'm pretty sure they were friends before y/n got with Carlos? Also pretty sure it's kika who introduced her to Carlos..

sharllekler @/hazell1999 yep, that's what y/n low-key said during one of her lives the other day ☺

bott_ass @/sharllekler did she talk about Carlos? 👀

sharllekler @/bott_ass not by name but she said she was seeing someone but we all know it's Carlos 😂

lewishamilton you killed it out there ❤️

y/nusername thank you lewis, glad you could make it! ❤️

ynfan88 god you're so pretty, I'm going to cry 😢

sashaaax stunning! 😍😍

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carlossainz55 posted on their story

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y/nusername

liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55 and 1,524,781 others

y/nusername thank you @/elle_spain, it was an honor to work with the team. Issue will be out soon ♡

tagged: elle_spain

y/nfan11 goddamn that's my wife y'alls 🥵

gisellev i wont be able to read it because i cant speak spanish :((

zhouey24 same but im sure there's people out there who will translate it! ☺

Carlossainz55 ay ay ay cariño, I am so lucky 😍

carlito55 boy we get it, you like her 😂

ynfam89 personally think she could so better but yea..

carlitosainz55 good thing they don't need your opinion ;)

francisca.cgomes stunning! 💕

☆☆☆☆☆

scuderiaferrari

liked by y/nusername and 176,542 others

scuderiaferrari appreciation post for our favorite chili 🌶 🇪🇸

#cs55

tagged: carlossainz55

view all 315 comments

chilisainz that's my man 😍

tifosired 🔥 🔥 🔥

sharl16lekler post something about Charles again pls..

cs55 open your eyes? they posted something about him a couple hours ago.

y/nusername like Paris Hilton once said: that's hot 😍

ferraricharlos so true bestie

norry4 she said lemme simp for my man real quick 🥰

marianaxo girl you can do so much better..

ferraricharlos @/marianaxo girl stfu we all know you want carlos so badly get in line my god

marianaxo she's know she deserves better because she doesn't even go out with him. When have we seen them together?

y/nusername yes, red is my favorite color 🌶

scuderiaferrari and red looks good on you 👏

zoeyoxox ferrari admin flirting with carlos' girlfriend?

norry4 I think they're implying that she looks good with carlos but wouldn't blame admin though 😂

☆☆☆☆☆

y/nusername

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 1,092,561 others

y/nusername summer with the best there is ♡♡

tagged: carlossainz55

view all 1,423 comments

ynfan30 loving the dream ❤️

carlito55 cute, I'm going take my toaster for a bath :((

lesainz fr I'm joining you :(

carlossainz55 te amo cariño ❤️‍🔥

y/nusername yo también te amo ❤️‍🔥

charlos1655 god I'm so lonely..

francisca.cgomes cuties 🥰

y/nusername 🥰

jasonnn6 no way that ferrari's second driver managed to bag y/n..

carlosandyn that 2nd driver has a name and yes, he did 'bag' y/n 😉

Jasonnn6 lucky bastard

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y/nusername

liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 1,366,892 others

y/nusername 't was red this weekend 🏎

tagged: scuderiaferrari, carlossainz55

view all 1,567 comments

scuderiaferrari welcome to the family y/n!

y/nusername ❤️❤️

y/nfan3 okay fine, I'll watch f1 😜

bott_ass how is it to live my dream life???

norstappen finally she's using the paddock as her catwalk 😍

jacksonb carlos you lucky bastard, y/n fucking y/l/n?

car55 still don't think they're a match tho

landoscar and I think they still don't care about your opinion 😇

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y/nusername

liked by carlossainz55, francisca.cgomes and 1,145,772 others

y/nusername best of the best ❤️‍🔥

tagged: carlossainz55

view all 1,003 comments

carlossainz55 ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

sainzcharlie1655 I'm not jealous, you are

zhouey24 jealous of who though, carlos or y/n?👀

sainzcharlie1655 I haven't figured that out yet 😂

denisevxox 🥰🥰🥰

grussell63 hmmm 🤔

leclerc_16 the best of the best, as in no one will bet better so I think it's safe to say it's time we stop with the whole she's out of his league bs ☺

[racke7]

I was re-reading "In Flight" (because I have literally nothing better to do, stuck at home sick), and I started to think.

Like, gabriel_blessing's Shirou Emiya is an... interesting character. He's not a very good "Shirou Emiya", but he's an interesting character who happens to share that absolutely unhinged lunatic's name.

I can't even entirely blame the author for it, because Shirou is a... very complicated character to do right by. It's a knife's-edge of trying to balance "too traumatized to consider themselves human", and "thinks that this is normal", and trying to fit that into an entertaining (and not trauma-focused) narrative is... not easy.

But. Looking at a character who's called "Shirou Emiya" behaving in ways that don't mesh with "Shirou Emiya"? It's weird. And it sometimes makes me step back and go: "what the fuck kind of Sekirei-story could you write with the actual Shirou Emiya?"

Pre-War Shirou? He's basically just a traumatized nice guy with the ability to make a crowbar a little bit tougher. He kind of disappears into the background, is what I'm saying.

Fate-Route Shirou? You put a Sekirei in front of a man who's sworn his heart to another? You try to steal him away from his beloved Saber, who he must always search for until his dying day? Jail! Jail for the author for a thousand years!

(I could see him being good friends with Miya or Kazehana, who both know what it's like to love and lose. But he didn't really lose, did he? She's still waiting for him, even now.)

UBW Shirou? Do you really think that Rin would ever give up on a promise she made? Her promise to watch over him and guide him away from Archer's path? Rin would rather try to raze the Clock Tower to the fucking ground, than give up. And Zelretch would probably think that that's too fucking hilarious to not reward, so trying to split them up is just... very much a long-shot.

HF Shirou? He's already happily married, dude. He's not gonna fuck your aliens, he's too busy being satisfied with his life.

It just-... There's just no Shirou that really meshes well with Sekirei, because he's already made his choices by the end of the Routes, and those choices don't include ecchi-aliens.

BUT

But, there's one idea that struck me.

HF Rin comes back from London, and stumbles across a young boy desperately searching for his little sister. A boy who is clearly not human, and whose sister is very likely to be targeted sexually (because Sekirei-Ashikabi are romantic bonds).

HF Rin who knows some of those horrors from the suffering of her own little sister? Of fucking course she helps. She'll turn the entirety of Shin Tokyo upside-fucking-down if it means she can track down that girl faster and make sure that she isn't being hurt.

Which made me think about "how would she track Kusano down?". And the answer to that is blatantly obvious: "Shirou is a goddamn blood-hound for magic, and he'll probably owe her like half-a-dozen favors at this point".

And if we'll be involving Shirou by calling him over from Fuyuki in order to track down someone's little sister? I feel like we need to up the absurdity-value of Shirou's entrance.

So, rather than calling a young man who looks very friendly and reliable, Shiina's new Ashikabi calls a tiny little girl with pink hair.

That's right, Emilya von Einzbern is dragged into this mess, and Sakura (who absolutely refuses to have her senpai out of her sight for longer than five minutes) comes with her (and Rider plays chaperone, as always).

So now, we have a very pretty tiny little girl with pink hair. A tall and very sexy-looking (almost unnaturally so) onee-san with glasses. And a young woman with very sizable... tracts of land.

Of course they're going to be mistaken for a group of unwinged Sekirei.

(And then Sakura murders the poor Ashikabi who tried to flirt with her cute senpai.)

As for the rest of the story? I have no clue. But like... what a fucking entrance.

[tricornonthecob]

So I'll make up for it now I guess

LK 115: Middle-Aged New York

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)(pt5)

Ayyyyy enter the Himbo!

Man Sarah has a type doesn't she.

Thinks he's fuckin slick but he does this every time he spies a hot chick.

James you do understand this is The Guy She Told You Not To Worry About, right? Probably shouldn't be giving her more reasons to flirt with Udney.

What a slut. Also looks like you lost an eyebrow in that frame.

Her flirting style is the same sort of banter she has with James like 24/7. Honestly mad that this episode sort of seems like one of the writers trying to make them just-friends.

James: "yeah girl give it to him!"

"suckerrrr"

"wait no not like that"

lol they've been watching the battalion's finest himbo doing his finest work this entire time.

It seems like the writers, directors, animators, etc probably didn't intend it but I say he is seething with jealousy.

For someone who just now realized she's polyamorous, man do I love a spot of jealousy/envy in my ships. I am a simple woman with simple tastes.

Honestly though Udney is right up there with Yancey in names I'm happy we all decided were wonky.

What's he thinkin about so dreamily? Bread? The sea? Chaos?

...Girl are you packing that dress so you can look extra hot for the continental army? Calm down, Lydia Bennet.

I know you're mad she's being a ho for the continental himbos but you gotta quit being a dick about it, James, you're gonna push her right into Udney's lap arms.

oooooh u done fucked up, Now its revenge canoodling!

Because her mother would let her go, lets face it lol

Although this does harken back to a few episodes ago when her mom was like "Sarah dear can you please stay put in Philadelphia where I can keep tabs on you." So I guess Sarah read that and went "FUCK U, MOM." Some subtle teenage rebellion there.

Honestly I would have fought him for that and I'm a little surprised that isn't the route they went with here, also doesn't New York get torched after Kip's Bay, not sure the city's ultimately the safest spot.

Don't kid yourself, you can't stop Agent Henri from doing what Agent Henri wants.

Why, its a cute blonde dumbass in uniform! Her very weakness!

Damn she's really just out here to flirt with continental soldiers.

Goddamn I really wish they'd leant into raging hormonal S/J jealousy rn. Such a missed opportunity. I'd be chomping at the bit if I was in that writer's room. Who the fuck said calm down on the shippable content?

Which one of you was it??

Also is it just me or is Firefox employing an absolute shit-for-brains AI for its spellchecker? Because harken is absolutely a fucking word and it would have known that if it used an actual dictionary as a source. See this is why you need three dictionaries lying around the house, so you can yell at machine learning and prove a point!

[giransbunnywife]

I know I already rambled about Bunny and Chet’s ship but this is a bit more explanation of their dynamic and just random ramblings bc I literally can’t stop thinking about them. They’re like so good and fucking cute it’s not fair. But to give you a better idea of how shit goes between them (no official timeline bc I’m still figuring that out so no timeline specific discussions from the campaign).

Warning(s): self insert x canon, fluff, and slight suggestive mentions throughout

Bunny was already with the group whenever Chetney was first introduced, and like I said in the previous post it was like obvious love/infatuation at first sight. He was completely enamored by her and very obvious about that. Well… to everyone but Bunny who was jsut confused lmao. At this point she was only dating Dawn, though there was heavy hints at some connection with Fearne and Dorian at this time.

Chetney would continue to flirt with her heavily on and off pretty much from then on. There would be plenty of moments that others would see this, while Bunny remained completely and blissfully unaware. She would go on top capture the hearts of many, like Fearne and Dorian and Laudna (to name a few), and yet she would be none the wiser too his antics. Until Dawn and Imogen pointed out to her just exactly why the old gnome had always been so cheeky with her.

Everybody found her to be quite adorable and sweet, though he would be a bit... over the top with it. Nobody disrespected or talked over Bunny in his presence, even if she was in the wrong or wasn't exactly... right. It wouldn't matter. That's how far fucking gone this goddamn gnome was.

Though Bunny was not particularly reciprocating to his advances, she would respond somewhat playfully. But with a very strong insistent that it would be “in his dreams”, though some moments suggests she definitely lusted after his wolf form. Once she caught on it was lots of cutting of her eyes at him or pushing him away, in moments that weren’t all that serious. She was very vocal that it would never happen.

Eventually this would result in yet another transition of their dynamic which I call the “make her jealous” phase, in which Chetney starts playing a little hard to get with her. Slowing his roll a little bit and seeming like he stopped the whole gag, when in reality he was just switching up his angle. And even though it got a couple teasing remarks from the others to the validity of such an approach, hilarious it seemed to fucking work.

Bunny became rather disturbed by such a change, even though they tried to hide it with a faulty façade. All the times that she would get caught up in his flirting or heavy comments, instead it was nothing short of a quip or two thrown her way. None of which the intensity that it used to be, and she didn’t like how much her body reacted to the change. How differently she felt after the attention was no longer focused on her.

This continued on (most likely even after the split) with a few people catching on to her change in tune since his new approach ended up working. Though, it might had ended up working too well considering that they ended up hooking up in the process. And this doesn't stop there, considering Bunny ends up doing this again... and again... and again.

Eventually their dynamic has yet another shift, and this is where things really kick into high gear and her feelings really come to a head. Because now that they're physical, she starts getting even more jealous than she had been before. This might have been made worse by him purposefully making her jealous bc he found it cute and amusing... which wouldn't work in his favor too well. Thus resulting in the final stage of things before everybody, including Chetney, knew that her feelings had changed.

And slowly as things are revealed more and more, their dynamic finally comes to a head once she admits that he had captured her heart. That she can't hide it anymore, and in fact, he had fucking won. Something that would make him even more insufferable with her, and the two of them would become the corny ass couple that they are now.

[bewilderedbunny]

Line cook Eddie part 3!

Hi friends! I was not expecting to write this so soon after part 2, but I'm rolling with it. Hope you enjoy it!! 💖 (the word counter I used says this is 666 words, thought that was cute) Flirty fluff, light sexual innuendo, cursing, sort of a bit of angst but not really. Eddie x fem!reader but feel free to switch the pronouns if you'd like ☺️ I had to include ABBA in this because I am a Mamma Mia! fan first and a human being second.

Credit to @delishlydelightfuldividers for the divider 💕

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4

During a morning shift, a middle-aged man comes into the diner. He's a bit quiet but polite. He has his "please and thank yous" down pat. You check up on him during his meal and ask how everything is.

"Wonderful, my compliments to the chef." he says.

You smile and say, "He'll be so excited to hear that."

The older man looks up at you and says, "I would mention to him to cut back on the salt a bit. He has done a number on my blood pressure enough as it is." as he says that you feel an arm wrap around your shoulder.

"Hey pops. Was my girl good to you?"

You realize this must be Wayne, Eddie doesn't talk about him often but when he does it's with adoration.

"She was great. It's good to put a face to the name since you're always talkin' 'bout her."

Eddie laughs, a little too loud and you giggle at the pink on his cheeks.

One day during your break you step outside to get some fresh air. You can hear Eddie talking to someone near the dumpster.

"You like that, sweetheart? Look at you. You're just the cutest thing I've ever seen." Your heart aches, aren't you supposed to be the cutest thing he's ever seen? You know he's a big flirt with everyone, but you thought you were special. You quietly creep around the corner and when you finally see him you want to cry. He's squatted behind the dumpster feeding chicken to a scruffy little cat while rubbing its back. It's not even scraps from a customer's meal, this son of a bitch cooked a chicken breast for a kitten who, upon further inspection, reminds you of Wayne with its greyish fur and blue eyes.

He walks you to your car after your shift. He started doing it one night the two of you were working and hasn't stopped. Even when you're leaving before him, he walks you out and then goes back inside.

"I'm in a band, y'know?" He says, drying silverware. He's facing you and has his hip pressed against the counter.

"Oh yeah? An ABBA cover band?" You joke.

"How'd you guess? We do a cover of "Chiquitita" that'll knock your socks off."

You stop rinsing cutlery and look at him.

"I know you're kidding, but I love that song."

"Yeah?" He says, turning away from you. He's known it's your favorite for weeks. You were humming throughout your shift once and he spent the following day at the record store trying to figure out what song it was. He eventually went up to an employee and hummed it to them until they could help him find it. He bought the goddamn ABBA record.

You lightly flick him with water and he acts like you've just waterboarded him, stumbling around and gasping for breath. He reaches toward the faucet and flicks you back, he throws more water than you had and you gasp, "You're getting me wet!" His eyes get huge and he starts to giggle. When you realize why you giggle right along with him.

You come in for your dinner shift one day and notice a stack of papers at the register. You pick one up and see a sketch of a fire-breathing dragon. The dragon is guarding various food items like pancakes, milkshakes, burgers, and fries. All of the papers are copies of this drawing and next to the stack, there is an old box of crayons. You ask your coworker what this is, and she says Eddie brought them in this morning to give kids something to entertain themselves with while they wait for their food. You can't wait to hand them out and you save any colored in pages for the next time you have a shift together so you can show him what a hit they were.

Thanks for reading 🥞💖

[cienfleurx]

𝐖𝐄'𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒, 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓? ᵇᵒⁿᵗᵉⁿ ᵛᵉʳ

✑ CHARACTERS: sano manjiro. sanzu haruchiyo. ran haitani. 

✑ HEADCANON: them when the fake relationship between the both of you ended.

✑ GENRE: angst. senior au.

✑ WARNING: explicit language. hurt / no comfort. salty y/n. not proofread. kinda messy dialogues and descriptions.

✑ SYNOPSIS: ran haitani thought that maybe he just missed your chaotic self in his life, but it felt too far-fetched, especially when he can feel his heart ripping apart at the sight of you calling for his younger brother’s name instead of him.

RAN HAITANI

How does one forget a man like Ran Haitani? From his mauve locks, tall strature, whimsical demeanor, and mischievious purple irises; how does one erase their memory from someone like him? Because if there is an answer - anyone, someone - then you beg them to provide it to you as you have been desperate in attempting to get him off your mind for a long time.

“This fucking gold rush,” you blew a huff, your bangs flying out their way from your sticky forehead due to the scorching afternoon heat. “God, I should have never said that - hell, I should have never agreed myself from his proposition in the first place. And now I'm the one who suffers while he's out there getting Kanae back and probably fucking her on the abandoned building right now," you ramble, frustration building up inside you knowing all too well how that old college premise works for those seniors.

“Goddamn, chill woman.” Rindou chuckled, tossing the strawberry milk on your way. “He’s not fucking her. He’s taking her out on a date.”

“Like that fucking help?” you hissed, wanting to wipe off the shit-eating grin on his face. “Bitch.”

It’s been months, probably around six months, ever since Ran ended your faux relationship with him. And just like any other girls who are head over heels for him, you cannot seem to grasp the truth and forget about his existence. Especially now that you got to experienced beforehand how it feels to be with him, it only made the process of moving on to be difficult on your part. From how he treats you like a real woman, how he kisses your lips so natural, and how he simply brags you to the other students oftentimes; you recalled everything he has done to the bones with butterflies stirring in your tummy. 

He was just such an ideal man despite the fact that others have referred to him as a fuckboy.

Ran Haitani is a gentleman on his own despite his history of flirting with a lot of woman; that is what you have noticed of him throughout the years of crushing on his existence since freshman. I mean, you can't really blame him, can you?. With that beauty of his, he can get any woman he wants. He’s making them desire for him more, and you are not really an exception from that given that you still cannot erase his image out of your mind.

Despite the fact that he has now reclaimed his former girlfriend back. His very own real girlfriend; the one he likes, Ran Haitani still lives on your mind rent-free. Every now and then, you would think of him and his current girl - what they do, how he treats her, and how you wished you were in her shoes. 

It was infuriating to say the least, especially now when you spot the woman you detest from the corner of your eyes clinging to the arms of the older mauve-haired that you liked so much.

“Oh, [Name] and Rindou?”

You almost sneered in annoyance when she approached your way.

Kanae, the cheerio captain, herself. Hot, cool, smart, and talented as fuck. God, the more you think about her, the more you realize how much you suck. You fucking lack in the golden aspects of what Ran wanted. Mayhaps, that was the reason why he still did not come to like you at the end even though you were given a chance to pursue him during your artificial relationship. 

“I see, both of you are having a date as well?” That’s cute!” your cherry lips fought tooth and nail to keep from scoffing. Regardless of how dismissive you are of her attitude, it seemed like she still manages to have that affect on you that makes you want to bitch on her or something. Good thing, Rindou was there to keep you on leash as he slipped his calloused hands on your sweaty palms, which were itching to shove the woman out of the way.

It may seemed like a subtle move from anyone’s eyes, but it did not escape Ran’s vision. His purple orbs bore straight into how his younger brother's palms embraced your small ones, almost as if he was squeezing them for comfort. Something about the sight bothered his innards, feeling his stomach tighten for some reason as he shift his body from uneasiness.

“Ran?”

The mauve-haired snapped out of his trance, eyes unconsciously locking with yours as his mind buffered a bit.

“You listening?”

“Sorry, babe. What was it again?”

Kanae simply rolled her eyes, pouting. “I said, your younger brother seemed to like [Name], and I wanna help him so I’m kinda like suggesting if we can have a double date with them, you good with that right?”

Rindou? Liking [Name]? Ran scowled inwardly, wondering where did Kanae even got that idea. You see, the thing between Rindou and [Name] is nothing out of romantic. They were friends of the same class; pure platonic, and all of this wouldn’t even happen if he hadn’t introduced the younger Haitani to you.

And besides, his brother is not interested in any girl of his batch right now, let alone relationships. 

Ran was about to decline the offer and say it isn’t like that between the two youngers when someone had already interrupt him into it. 

“Good idea,” Rindou blurted out of the blue, catching two individuals on the scene off guard. “Not a double date, though. We’ll be going on our own.” Ran had his lilac orbs widen as he focused them on his younger brother, while you, who were already disturbed by the presence of a certain someone, suddenly stiffened from your place, your heart hammering on your chest from what you'd just heard.

Rindou was never one to voiced out his feelings. So naturally, it had you startled. However, it seemed that this was not the case when the comparable butterflies that you were feeling for Ran began resurfacing themselves in your tummy.

“. . . Rin?”

“What? It’s not like you two are still together, right?” Rindou shrugged, his other arm casually wrapping around your shoulder.

Honestly, if it were one of those times when Rindou teases you just to get a reaction out of you, you'd probably brush him off and shut his existence off with a pinch of his skin on his stomach. After all, you never know if this person is intentionally messing with you or is just trying to upset Ran, who had his brows wrinkled in confusion; feeling slightly annoyed at whatever words were spewing from the younger Haitani's lips.

“Don’t speak as if you like her, Rin.” Ran’s tone became authoritative. “I know you only think about her as a friend. Stop whatever prank you are pulling.”

“He’s right. Quit that shit off -” before you could even finish you sentence, Rindou had already clamped his palm across your mouth to stop it from running off. He shot you a look, and you saw a trace of softness whirling inside them; something that made the irritation inside you fade into obscurity at one point.

“I don’t know about you, brother, but I am serious. Feelings can change at the span of six months.” Rindou said, and each syllable that slipped past his lips made Ran feel something in his chest, particularly his heart. It felt like someone was clenching it out of nowhere and stabbing him with shards of what seemed to be your broken heart that he had caused when he advised you to stay away from him for the time being as he didn't want Kanae to suspect the both of them once the goal of your fake relationship with him was successful - once Kanae and him get back together. 

“And, it’s not really that hard to like her. It just happened naturally while I was replacing you as her friend.”

The next following days became a blur for Ran Haitani.

At that time, Ran genuinely thought Rindou was fooling around to annoy him, however, it seemed to only appear as reassurance to himself when his once playful lilac orbs caught sight of your figure waiting down by the bleachers, looking all dolled up like the usual amidst the boisterous crowded seats. Only this time, your presence wasn't meant for him, but rather for his younger brother, who seemed to be scoring a lot of three-pointers lately while flashing grins on your way.

You thought that it was better this way. Ran was happy with his relationship with Kanae, and Rindou seemed to like you enough to bother you on a daily basis of having dates with him. You thought that this is how things should have been from the beginning. You began to be satisifed. It felt as if you were gradually removing Ran from your world. And, as strange as it may sound, it seems like his younger brother was the one who had the answer all along about how to forget him for good.

Ran will be forgotten, and you will move on. Yes, that’s how it should have been. 

However, unbeknownst to your oblivious self shouting Rindou’s name among the crowds, Ran Haitani had his amethyst orbs fix on your figure with a glint of yearning and desire that he wished it was his name that you were chanting at the loud stadium instead of his younger brother. Just like the old times, just like when they were together before. Crazy, it is. Ran had this thought that maybe he just missed you with him. That maybe he is just missing your chaotic self in his life. But it felt too far-fetched, especially when he can feel his heart ripping apart into shreds at the thought that maybe his feelings for you was something more; that maybe you are not just a friend. That maybe Rindou was right.

You were not that hard to like, as he indeed felt his heart skipping a beat in those times when he pretended a relationship with you. He was just blind. Blinded by his own ego of chasing a woman he thought he loved until he completely lost sight of who was more important to him.

FINISHED: sano manjiro. sanzu haruchiyo. ran haitani.