#he’s probably going through double the lollipops poor guy

[stunie]

we need to get @kajibunny to see this asap 🥹

hellooo amor it’s nice to meet u !! ^ ^ <3 omg i saw ur suggestions were open and i was thinking about kaji !! he’s always with enomoto & kusumi and i can imagine him trying to play off having a crush bc he doesn’t want you to know just yet, but those two ?? are absolutelyyy not letting that happen. as soon as you’re in sight, kusumi’s texting the entire gc and enomoto’s elbowing him in the side with a knowing smile— and he gets soo flustered and clammy 😭 he’s so cute

DID SOMEONE SAY CUPIDS?

Kusumi and Enomoto have to always look out for their grade captain, right? And that includes sneaking into Ren Kaji's love life. 0.8k fluff!!

The thing about REN KAJI is that he thinks he's discreet.

From stealing glances, opening doors, gifting you things, and even using his headphones less from worrying that you might grow tired of his "huh's" and "hm's" from not reading your lips properly, Kaji is sure that he is the king of discretion when it comes to hiding his growing crush on you.

Luckily for him, Kusumi and Enomoto know him better than he knows himself. They see the qualities, and the greatness in him that he sometimes fails to see. Of course, his 'strange' behavior towards you does not go unnoticed.

When first confronted about it, he shrugged. With a trembling voice and trying his best to feign disinterest, Kaji stated that no, he did not have a crush on you. "I treat Yn the same as I do everyone else, so don't go gettin' any funny ideas."

Ren Kaji doesn't feel anything for you, so why does he freeze whenever he sees you strolling around when he's on patrol? Why does his body temperature rise until he resembles a human oven and his face gets all red when you're nearby?

He's running out of excuses as the weather slowly gets colder and his friends invite you places with them more often. Kusumi and Enomoto share knowing glances as they turn to you, inviting you to accompany them on patrol.

When you agree, Kaji thinks he's going to burn the place down from how hot he feels, his face now a new shade of crimson. As you walked around with the three men, Kaji 'subtly' pulled his headphones from his ears, striking up a conversation.

If he was being honest with himself, your voice was better than any melody that rang through his earphones. Gosh, you could send him voice notes and those would be playing all day if it were up to him.

Kusumi and Enomoto slowed down their steps and got lost for a bit, unbeknownst to you and Kaji. You got so lost in the conversation that you didn't notice those two running to where you were, their hands behind their backs.

"Hey—let's go to Cactus Bakery! We could all use some sweets right now, right Kusumi?"

Kaji looked at them in confusion, as his vice-captains grinned from ear to ear. The whole walk towards Cactus he grew concerned as to what his classmates were planning, as they would not reveal what they hid.

"Yn! You mind going in and saving us a spot? We just needa talk to Kaji for a bit."

You nodded happily as you stepped inside the bakery, taking a seat as you waited for the trio to step inside. As soon as you were out of sight, Kusumi and Enomoto shared a look, then looked at Kaji.

Kusumi's arms were now in front of Kaji, a small box of chocolates in them. He handed them to him, offering him a knowing smile. Enomoto was next, revealing that what he had behind his back was a small, but colorful bouquet.

"You're gonna give these to her, and tell her she's beautiful. Then, you're gonna pay for her food. Finally, you're gonna take her home."

"What the hell? I told you I don't feel any—"

"Deny all you want, Kaji, but we all know. Besides, this is an order!"

"Huh?"

Kusumi pulled out his phone, showing Kaji a text message conversation.

KUSUMI [1 Attachment] Yn joined us for patrol again!

HIRAGI Give Kaji the balls he needs to take her out, and take care of patrol Im sick of this shit

Kaji was bewildered, staring at his classmates in complete shock. They forced their gifts into his hand, elbowing his sides and pushing him inside the bakery.

You were confused as you saw Kaji take a seat in front of you, shyly handing you the box and bouquets. Smiling, you thanked him, asking him if Kusumi and Enomoto were coming. He shook his head in response, stating that 'they could handle things while he was gone.'

He could feel his hands getting clammy as his eyes scanned the menu, trying to figure out what to order. He looked at you, his lips curling into a small smile as he saw you admiring the flowers from the bouquet, your fingers tracing every petal.

When the waitress approached, Kaji wasted no time in telling her what he wanted, and he waited for you to order. She smiled in return, complimenting the bouquet.

"It's stunning!" she chirped, turning to Kaji. "You made a good choice, she looks beautiful with those flowers."

You felt your cheeks heat up as the waitress walked away, and looked at the boy in front of you. His face was red, turned towards the side to avoid your gaze.

"'s true" he mumbled, low enough for you to barely hear, "you look beautiful."

Kaji swore you were going to be the death of him. He also swore that he would definitely kill Kusumi and Enomoto later, whom he saw through the bakery's transparent windows, phones in hand as they 'discreetly' took a picture.

[candyopala]

Stuck in his ways, Chapter 5

Chapter Summary:  Y/N’s training begins, but not before she discovers one of Obito’s secrets.

Words: 1.7k

AO3

Please reblog or like if you enjoy, comments are always welcome <3

5:30 in the morning. It is the sixth time Y/N has woken up. This whole concussion thing has messed up her whole sleeping schedule, she tried her best to get some rest, but to no avail. She ended up sleeping for about fourteen or fifteen hours between small intervals, but she feels worse than before. 

Y/N drags herself out of bed, makes some coffee, and brushes her teeth, the whole deal. Having a constant roof above her head is nice, she has to admit that. Not having to worry about wild animals and the climate is cool, but the warmth of a bed is the best part of it. Tying her brand new bandana on her forehead, she leaves the small apartment and heads to the training grounds on the outskirts of the village.  

She makes her way through the village’s main market, trying to avoid stumbling onto the hundreds of busy people bustling around her. Watching people attend to their duties and following their routines has always been a hobby of hers, she always found interest in seeing people who can afford to do the same thing every day, have some sort of routine. Can she consider herself one of them now? No, maybe not. Ninjas are always doing different missions and whatnot; their routines are as fucked up as a merc’s. Maybe she can become a baker in another life, who knows? 

Around the corner, a hand blocking her way surprises her. At the end of it is a medium height man with his hair tucked into some sort of fabric, with bits of brown hair coming out of the sides. The man holds a toothpick between his lips, accompanied by a smug smile and an attitude that instantly annoys Y/N. 

“’Sup babygirl, how come I’ve never seen you around?”

“I’ve been busy for the last 26 years”

“Busy living in my dreams, I bet”

“Busy fucking you mom, actually”

The sleazy type is the worst in Y/N’s opinion. Nothing disgusts her more than someone who thinks they’re hot shit just because they’re attractive. She pushes him away and keeps on walking.  

“Ouch! Feisty, I like that. I’ll remember ya!” he states as he leaves the scene with a wink and a flick of his toothpick. 

This has to be a joke, what a douchebag.

Going back on her way and observing the people, she closes into a mass of messy short black hair. The man has his back turned to her, but by the jonin vest and height, she assumes it could be… no, wait… it could not be! This man is helping an old lady carry a shitload of groceries, he would never be nice enough to do that. 

Could it be him!?

From afar, she changes angle to try and catch a glimpse of his face. After much difficulty dodging busy locals, she is able to see clearly and… it’s Obito! Obito Uchiha helping a poor old lady carry her stuff, I wish I had a camera on me. She thinks of approaching him, but she decides against it in favor of watching from a distance to see where this goes. 

Turns out the frail woman lives on the other side of town. Obito sure enough has carried all that stuff through the worst climbs Y/N has ever seen on a city. But that was not all: he was being extra nice. He laughed at all her jokes and even smiled back at her. This is grade A entertainment. 

When they finally reach her destination, the old lady pulls out a lollypop and gives it to him. Y/N immediately loses her shit, almost falling from the ceiling she is in because of her fit of laughter. Before she can compose herself, she notices a presence behind her. She was discovered, but who cares? She has seen enough. Obito towers above her, trying to look intimidating, but failing to do so since he has a lollipop on his mouth. 

“First you invade my house, now you’re following me. Are you sure I’m the one who should be called a creep?”

“Well, you’re right. Maybe I’ll start calling you… Granny Simp Uchiha©, how about that?”  

“I hate you”

“Ow, I’m so hurt, oh my god, how could you? But seriously, I didn’t mean to intrude, but when I saw that… I needed to see more to believe it” She states as she breaks into another fit of laughter

“Let’s go, we’re late for training”

“Have you ever been on time a day of your life, though?”

“Never, I’ll probably be late for my own funeral”

“Fair enough. Wait, did you just make a joke that’s not on my expense?”

“Oh no, your dumbassery is influencing me!” He raises his gloved hands ironically

“Shut up”

 ~”~

 They both reach the training grounds at around 7:30, late but not a whole lot, thanks to Obito’s kamui. Obito will have to make some slight modifications on the mission report to avoid Minato’s wrath. After a quick warmup, Obito goes straight to the point: 

“How much do you even know about jutsu?”

“Well… I can do that chakra punch, maybe walk on water and trees or release genjutsu, but that’s all.”

“Not even a clone or some substitution jutsu?”

“Nope”

“So you’re basically an academy student with enough brute force to take down S rank criminals… That’s… odd”

Y/N scratches the back of her head, clearly embarrassed by her lack of training. Obito did not expect to have to teach such basic things. I mean, if he wanted to teach people stuff he would have signed up for a job at the academy. He still cannot believe Minato sensei is putting him up to this babysitting job. 

He needs to do well on this mission if he wants to get back onto the Hokage’s good side and guarantee his position as the next one. This is his second day with Y/N and things have been insane and… fun? No, he should not be thinking like that. Perhaps he should also go talk with Kushina and ask her to convince sensei to let him go from this one; he was always her favorite after all.

“Granny simp? You ok? Did I disappoint you that much?”

Obito fixes his bandana’s position over his left eye, trying to get himself out of his head. He is here now, so he had better get to work. If he can control himself enough not to put her under a nasty genjutsu for calling him that again, that is. 

“Call me that again and I’ll tell everyone that you saw me naked”

“You were not naked, dickhead. And what’s wrong with that?”

“Uhm…?”

“…?”

“Anyway… we’ll start with some cloning jutsu. Have you ever done any seals?”

“Only one or two”

“Try to copy what I’m doing”

“Hey! Stop doing it so fast!”

She honestly seems to be giving her best, but her hand signs are not quite right and the chakra distribution on her network must be all wrong, judging by her failure in producing something that seems to be remotely human. This takes Obito’s memory back to his old academy days, back when he could not do a single clone properly. He would spend whole nights awake training to achieve something passable. Rin helped him a lot back then. The only thing he has ever taught someone was that sexy jutsu to Naruto. To say Kushina was mad was an understatement. 

“Concentrate your chakra all along your body, not only on your hands”

“Hum… right, can I get a lollipop after this?”

Four hours later and Y/N has finally mastered two basic jutsu: substitution and cloning. She almost passed out several times due to exhaustion, but thanks to some food pills, she is enduring todays training much better. 

Obito has been analyzing her every movement with his sharingan. Looking closely her techniques lack grace, truly a sign of someone who learned everything they know by experience. He needs to fix that too. 

Her endurance is also remarkably low. If she were to fight right now, she could do maybe two or three jutsu before passing out, making her rely solely onto her speed and blade habilities. The girl is more of a samurai than a ninja at this point. Examining her file earlier, he noticed that her chakra reserves are not that low as she has stated before, according to the medical department she has an average quantity of it. She just lacks the ability to use it properly.  

Some very hard work is in order; it could take some months to get her into decent shape. That would be too much time and effort for Obito, there has to be another way of dealing with this mission quicker. 

He did not want to do this, but he will have to talk to Kakashi for some teaching tips. Hell, if he was able to teach anything useful to Naruto he will be able to come up with a routine to help Y/N’s training. 

I just hope he doesn’t decide to bother me about this situation…

After dropping Y/N on her house, with much protest from her part, Obito heads to the village’s café to meet with Kakashi Hatake. He knows that the ninja likes to spend his late afternoons reading his porn books accompanied by some coffee, disgusting stuff if you ask Obito. The coffee, that is. He has no formed opinion on porn books.

Approaching the store, he spots his friend’s mass of upward pointing grey hair. Something is different about him, though. Kakashi is usually… a very apathetic person. The look he gave Obito had chills running the Uchiha’s spine, he looked, well, excited. 

“Obito! I finally found you! Sit down”

Aliens killed him and this is a body double. Or this is one of Gai’s practical jokes. Obito is honestly stumped.

“Are you ok bakashi?”

“Great! So… who’s the girl?”

Great, just awesome.      

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Of course you know, everyone is talking about how you were seen walking up and down with some mysterious gal. I’m so happy for you! Finally you’re going to stop being a sad grumpy bachelor! I’ll call dibs on the position of best-man” and suddenly Kakashi jumps up from his seat, coming closer to Obito’s face “Have you guys done it yet? Did she run away from you and now you need my advice? You could use some techniques from Icha I-”

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Those books are rotting your brain, seriously what the hell?”

“So is it true?”

[danddymaro]

My Only  | Tatewaki Kuno x Reader

Thoughts are italics in quotations = ‘Example’

Flashbacks are in italics = Example

Word Count :  4325 

I decided to finally post this since it was a little idea i had a long time ago, and never really finished. Kuno was headass...but cute nonetheless.

My Only

Walking along the halls of her new school, (f/n) held on tightly to her leather bookbag strap, biting the inside of her left cheek in anxiousness.

‘I’m late,’ she thought worriedly. ‘So...maybe I shouldn't go in at all… Maybe I should just wait till tomorrow.’ She added with a worried crease to her (dark/light) brow.

‘ Everyone is going to be staring…’ she grimaced at the thought of having all eyes on her staring at her with expectancy and wonder. Just the thought of it made her palms sweaty and legs go overwhelmingly wobbly.

‘I’d never miss any days anyways,’ She argued, ‘Just one… the first shouldn't really matter…’ She went on, but as she contemplated the decision of just leaving it all for the next day, she found herself already at the door to her new classroom.

Looking down at the small index card she looked back up at the number a second and third time for good measure.

“This is the right classroom…” she said swallowing hard, already feeling her heart going into full gear and pounding restlessly in her chest.

Her hand nervously rose to tap on the door, but stopped inches before she could reach it as her nerves got the better of her. From the window on the door, she could see her new instructor already giving a lesson, writing on the chalkboard with quick swift movements, completely leaving behind a couple of scrambling students on important notes, those who bothered to pay attention at least.

Everyone else stared on with glazed looks, present, but not truly there.

She realized that if she walked in then, she'd be interrupting an ongoing lesson, and the professor didn't look lenient at all from his stern look and obvious frustration.

“I would have been here earlier,” She defended herself, “ But my alarm is busted,” she went on, knowing that even if she had an excuse, it really didn't matter. She’d had a hard ass instructor before, and unfortunately had the luck or getting one just about every year.

Hanging her head, she sighed deeply. “I can't do this,” she said defeated, backing up.

With that one step, rather than a quick retreat she found herself bumping into another body. As an immediate response, she jumped away from the new person in fright and stared at them wide-eyed, (e/c) eyes fully rounded and alert.

Before her stood another student, evident by the furinkan high uniform that was identical to hers. Her hair was a silky brown color, the longest strands not even reaching past her chin. Hime styled bangs hid her eyebrows, stopping in a curved cut right over her eyes, framing the entirety of her face nicely in a precise cut. And between her two closed, peachy lips was a small white stick which she brought out, revealing it to be a red-colored, cherry-flavored lollipop.

The brunette trained her eyes on the shaken girl and sized her up, studying her with keen eyes before she spoke, “You're the new student.” she started, showing a slight smirk, an almost permanent expression she found herself making, but not that the new girl knew that.

Eagerly nodding, (f/n) stared at her feet, embarrassed to be called out so easily.

She probably stuck out like a sore thumb…

“ boy, you’re real shy aren't you?” The bowl cut female said chuckling, finding it amusing and well, just plain cute enough to make her interested in the flustered girl. She was so used to the usual strong personalities and craziness that the meek girl before her actually seemed interesting... dare she say out of this world.

In Fact the only softer person she could name was her sister Kasumi, but Kasumi was more modest than meek.

(f/n) raised her eyes up at the comment, seemingly taken back. It wasn’t to say the brunette was wrong but wasn't it reasonable for (f/n) to be nervous?

This was the first day of school for her, her first day meeting people, moving to a new place, a new world, and life, wouldn't anyone else be just as nervous?

‘Day 1 and I’m already labeled’ (f/n) thought shrinking back, ‘I don’t want to be known as anything else but my name. And I don’t want some dorky name to follow me around !’ she thought with a grimace, shaking her head in denial. But before she could defend herself, the other girl spoke, interrupting her upcoming protest,

“ You already got good points for being cute, acting all shy like that, the guys here are gonna swallow you whole,” she said as a matter a fact, placing a hand to her hip.

At the blunt comment ( f/n) did a double-take, forming a horrified expression.

“Wait, wait ! what do you mean?! Swallow me up whole?”( f/n) said gasping, finding it hard not to stutter at such a comment.

“ This school is full of some real hounds… if you act like that all the time, I'm positive you won't survive and trust me, there are some persistent guys here...I know some personally.” The brunette stated, lifting her chin up with a grin, almost like it was something to be proud of.

“Oh no,” (f/n) said worriedly, “ that’s troublesome,” she added, not being able to imagine such a scene, not being able to handle the thought of having to have to actually have to fight guys off.

Back at her old school there wasn't much of a conundrum, for the most part, it was the usual boring school days filled with even boringer lessons and homework, but at the very least she hadn’t been harassed.

‘Maybe I should skip the whole school year,’ (f/n) thought deadpanned. ‘Not show up at all,’ She added, her shoulders slumping.

“Where are my manners,” the brunette said shaking her head. “ Nabiki Tendo,” she said extending out an open hand to the (e/c) eyed girl. Smiling, albeit in a troubled manner, (f/n) took the greeting with welcome, taking Nabiki’s hand.

“(f/n)( l/n)” she responded with placid kindness.

“So, you gonna walk in?” Nabiki said pointing her chin to the closed door, receiving a tight smile from the other teen.

“If you want me to be honest, I'm not even sure if I can...or want to,” (f/n) admitted sighing, receiving a simple, small ‘ah.’ from the other student.

Nabiki seemed to stop and think about something before snapping her fingers together suddenly.

“Say, You wanna ditch this class?” she offered with a bright-eyed twinkle to her eye.

“ You're already late, actually missed over half the instruction,” she said shrugging, “so what do you say, wanna skip?” She offered smiling brightly, hoping to convince the girl and find something to do other than sit through a boring lecture.

“After the first half we usually sit down and stay shut, The teach doesn't like noise,” Nabiki said rather annoyed, “So we’d just be in there doing nothing,” she said with an eye roll. “So yeah?” She asked with a coy grin, hoping to convince the girl.

“Skip?”( f/n) repeated worriedly, “but...won't we get in trouble?” she asked in a hushed tone.

Nabiki shrugged, “I never have.” She said without an eyebat. “I’m what you call a repeat offender,” she said smirking at the look she received, which was one of astounded surprise.

“ So you do this a lot don’t you?”( f/n) asked raising a brow, her tone being lingered with a sense of judgment.

“Hey, don’t judge, weren't you gonna do it just a few minutes ago?” Nabiki said with a challenging look, crossing her arms and staring down at (f/n). (f/n) backed down sighing, “ i was only thinking about it,” she muttered embarrassed, “not like I was gonna pull through with it.” she added.

“Well, I’ve decided for you,” Nabiki said as she smiled, grabbing the other girl's wrist and pulling her along.

“ Listen goodie two shoes, it’s nice to let loose once in a while,” she said, offering advice, “ be bad for once,” she added, making (f/n) roll her eyes playfully, a gleeful, little grin coming over her.

‘First day and I'm already skipping,’ she thought feeling slightly excited, being dragged by the other girl. ‘This is actually the baddest thing I've ever done!’ she inwardly squealed, almost shaking.

Feeling the grip on her wrist fall, (f/n) looked to the side to see Nabiki walking beside her nonchalantly, like she wasn’t roaming around with the risk of being caught.

“ so what should we do first? “ (f/n) asked excitedly, making Nabiki's eyebrows rise and her face blossom with amusement, “ so I was right, it’s your First time?” She said chuckling.

With an enthusiastic nod (f/n) confirmed.

“Well, sorry to disappoint, but It's not a big deal, not that exciting,” Tendo said chuckling, “i was just gonna go see a classmate of mine, he got his butt handed pretty bad by this other kid this morning,” she said shaking her head at the memory. The present excitement faded from (f/n)’s face and a look of concern settled onto her instead. “Is he being bullied?” she said worriedly, feeling bad for the poor guy already.

At that, Nabiki almost choked on the hard candy, pulling it out harshly to save herself.

“ if anything the idiot deserved it!” she said laughing, using her other hand to give (f/n) a pat on the shoulder, “trust me, he had it coming, so don't feel too bad.”

“But isn’t he your friend?” (f/n) asked with confusion.

“Loosely, “ Nabiki said flatly.

She wasn’t friends with Kuno. But at the same time, she wasn't not friends with him either...if that made any sense.

He’d been her associate before, if she could call him that.

...Or her customer if that was more fitting.

Between both Akane and Ranma, Nabiki was able to get enough pictures to sell to the doofus, making easy cash, so of course, she’d care just enough.

‘You do seem to care… even just a bit,’ (f/n) observed. ‘Even if you don’t want to show it,’ she added, watching Nibiki’s defensiveness.

“ oh Alright, “ (f/n) said nodding, offering an amused chuckle at the response,

“can’t wait to meet him then,” She added.

“If he's even awake,” Nabiki interjected, “ come on I’ll lead the way,” Nabiki said walking ahead, knowing the direction by heart, having the other girl trail behind, taking in everything she could.

“Well, we're here,” Nabiki said throwing her candy’s white, little stick in the trash bin as they entered the open room.

“And there he is,” Tendo muttered, outstretching her hand to the unconscious male. “Still out cold i see,” she added with a snicker, jabbing her finger to his cheek.

“Not even a noise, “ she observed, looking back to her new friend, waving her closer.

“This right here is Kuno, Tatewake Kuno,” Nabiki said with a shake of her head. “That’s one name you’ll hear around here pretty much every day,” she informed her.

As (f/n) glanced down to the sleeping boy, she felt a dust of pink touch her cheeks, crawling up to the tips of her ears, making her face match the color of ripe, little cherries.

‘He’s really cute...’ she thought to herself, her hand absentmindedly going to lay over her warmed cheek.

He wasn't even awake and was making her blush a few shades of red, her heart racing like a wild stallion at his close presence. Nabiki noticed the obvious change, and stared wide-eyed, her dark chocolate eyes filled with shock,

“No way…” she mumbled not sure whether to facepalm, or succumb into a large fit of laughter. “There’s no way, “ she muttered, going unnoticed by the other girl as all her focus lay on the teenage boy.

‘ The girl could not have possibly gained a crush on that enormous moron,’ Nabiki tried to reason. She hadn’t even thought it possible, but once she saw the notable affection glittering in (f/n)’s eyes, she sighed,‘ She's got it bad for him already.’

It hadn't even crossed her mind that it was a possibility...It was just that stupid.

But now what was she to do?

‘I guess the idiot is kinda cute,’ Tendo argued, though she felt a bitter taste in her mouth as she admitted it. ‘It’s not like i haven't noticed, but…’ She trailed off, shaking her head, ‘I guess there is someone for everyone,’ she mused, ‘That is if he can stop being such a dog,’ She added, uncertain on him even being capable of it.

The school nurse came from her small office and took notice the two extra students in her little room and smiled at them, not at all bothered or concerned by the extra people,

“You two don't have to worry about him, he should come to soon enough.” She said placing a hand over both of their heads, making them look up at her.

“He's a pretty stubborn headed one, so I don't think a little knockout is gonna get him to stop walking around like he usually does,” she said eyeing Tatewake with an amused gleam in her brown eyes.

“You mean like he owns the place?” Nabiki said flatly, not being the least bit willing to hold back her remarks.

The middle-aged woman didn't answer, only giving the younger a knowing look, rolling her eyes. She didn't want to say it out loud, but since the teen already did, she had no choice but to agree silently.

Bending down to the mischievous teen, the chummy nurse pinched her cheek,“ Nabiki Tendo, you look out for this boy,” she advised, pulling at the caught bit of flesh with a frown, “He comes in here about every week! You know, you should really talk him out of those silly fights with that Saotome boy.” she said for what seemed like the umpteenth time, pestering the Tendo female.

(f/n) could tell it was almost rehearsed at this point with how much it had probably been stated before, meanwhile, Nabiki shrugged, pursing her lips.

“Aww, Then how would I get out of instruction Mrs. Ito?” She said pouting, making the elder woman give her a halfhearted glare.

Shaking her head, Mrs. Ito sighed,

“You little devil.” She muttered, then focusing her eyes onto the other girl, a new face she hadn't seen before.

She smiled in welcome, shooting the new girl a flashy smile,

“ Hey, don't let this one get you into too much trouble,” she advised jutting her thumb to the smirking girl, “ Behind that sweet little face is a little demon,” she said ignoring the halfhearted glare shot at her by the so-called demon.

“Don't look at me like that kiddo, how about you come here and help me if you're going to cut class again, do something productive,” she said beckoning the short-haired girl with her index finger.

Groaning Nabiki stood up and walked over to the nurse,

“Ahhhhh work,” she said in a flat voice.

“I don't want to hear it.” Mrs. Ito said laughing at the obvious display of displeasure.

As Nabiki and Mrs. Ito disappeared to the back, (f/n) trailed her eyes back to the sleeping teen.

Quietly approaching him, she stood before him and stared down at his sleeping face as she did before, this time taking time to really study his features.

Before she had tried to be discreet, knowing more than one person would call her out on the ogling, but now she could feel unashamed.

In her preoccupation, she failed to notice Mrs. Ito peer over from the doorway and give her a grin, watching her fluster over the unconscious boy.

“ She wasn't kidding,” The nurse said shaking her head.

As soon as she walked into the back with Nabiki, the girl didn't waste time in voicing her suspicions, all with an amused grin.

“ care to change the cloth on his forehead?” she said out loud, surprising the daydreaming teenager. (f/n) turned to her immediately, stepping back from the unconscious boy, like she’d been caught doing something she wasn't supposed to,

“ I've got my hands tied back here sweetie, is it too much to ask?” The nurse said offering her a pleading look. (f/n) shook her head, “No trouble Mrs. Ito, I'll get right to it!” she said sparing another glance at Tatewaki before making her way to the sink.

Wringing a cloth, she carefully brushed the dark, lightly curled hairs covering his forehead aside with gentleness, placing the white towel on his forehead. Absentmindedly, her touch lingered as she ran her fingers through the brunettes soft, wavy strands, easily passing through them and feeling the dark hairs slip in between her fingers.

Before she could retract her hand his two eyes open to reveal blue tanzanite’s staring back up at her with a piercing gaze, making her gasp in surprise.

“ I must have died, “ he said softly, training his eyes on her, not seeing anything but the lovely face above him.

“ Only there could I see such an angel glance down upon me,” He added, almost too smoothly.

With a softly formed smile, he stood straight up and turned to her, capturing her small hand in his. He seemed to pull himself together quickly, the injury he had a thing of the distant past like it had never even been there.

It was then that an obnoxious, loud laugh cut through the room, Nabiki walking forward, shielding her tearing eyes with a hand.

“ no, no, no, Kuno baby, no! You didn't just say that!” she said snickering. meanwhile (f/n) was left tongue-tied, her brain going fuzzy as she took in his words.

Tatewaki on the other hand glared at his short-haired classmate, his eyes immediately finding her and narrowing,

“ well if it isn't Nabiki Tendo again...with you here I wouldn't imagine it being heaven. Perhaps a hellish world instead.” he said less than pleased, “ But such judgment from you Tendo... Could it be your envious?” he asked smirking in her direction, to which the girl shook her head, visibly gagging.

“ Kuno baby, I wouldn't touch you with a 10-foot pole,” she said smoothly, placing her hands on her hips, sticking her tongue out at him childishly.

“ I wouldn't care if you did, for I have no interest in you bothersome girl!” Tatewaki said immediately, turning back to (f/n). Whilst still taking hold of her hand, he stepped off from the bed, standing at his full height, leaving the teen even more surprised with the difference.

“ Forgive me, my sweet angel,” he said, offering her a charming smile. “I would have noticed a lovely girl like you… may i assume your new here?” he asked her.

Nodding furiously, (f/n) answered him, “ Y-yes, (f/n) (l/n),” she uttered out breathlessly, staring deeply into his blue eyes.

“ Tatewaki Kuno,” he introduced himself, lifting up her hand to lay a kiss on the flesh, “It is a pleasure to me-” He was cut short as (f/n) was pulled away,

“ Oh look at the time,” Nabiki said suddenly, whisking his new infatuation away.

His first meeting with her had been interrupted, leaving him even more intrigued with the girl. Determined, he pursued her, though admittedly straying in other directions from time to time.

But he argued It wasn’t his fault, something no one else seemed to understand, not even the (h/c) haired girl he’d become so close with.

After months of friendship, his ways put a damper in their growing relationship, becoming something he couldn't bear,

And it was then he made his decision,

“My eyes no longer wonder!” he assured her, taking a hold of her hand in his, pulling her back. With the force she came towards him, nearly crashing back to him.

He was quick to take the other hand in his opposite one, lifting them up to his lips at the same time.

Kissing the tips of her knuckles gently, he took a large breath, kneeling down before her, falling to one knee.

Her eyes nearly popped right out of their sockets as she stared at him, her stomach dropping in that very instant. Aside from that, she felt embarrassment, knowing they were at the center of a scene, fallen beneath all of Furinkan high’s population.

“(f/n), my love, I assure you that I only breathe for your existence now my sweet. “ He started, “ Akane Tendo, nor the pigtailed girl are as beautiful as you, or as captivating. In fact, no other woman alive could compare to you! You single-handedly have stolen my heart, ” He said smiling up at her with complete adoration.

‘ A true Goddess, of not one, but all realms and lifetimes, my (f/n)!’ He thought with a soft sigh, an arrow wedged within his heart, pointing right at the (h/c) haired young girl.

He knew that anyone that could wash away the pigtailed girl, and above all Akane Tendo had to be the one. Anyone that had made him tear down their portraits without regret was the one to own the entirety of his being.

Withdrawing her hand from his, she placed them over her face, hiding her two blazing cheeks from him.

“ st-stop saying stuff like that! ” she squealed, shaking her head with denial,“You can’t be serious!” she said stunned, but also on edge.

He couldn't really be so ‘ in love ’ as he claimed

… could he?

She’d known him for ⅔ ‘s of the school year, considering she arrived later than the had year began. It hadn’t been enough time to basically declare such a thing,.

But then again…

‘We’ve gone out together….’ He’d taken her out many times, but of course, just as friends, that being the ruse.

‘ Friends don’t go out alone for fancy dinners… Friends don’t buy roses…’ She thought to herself immediately afterward.

‘He hadn’t mentioned Akane… of Ranma in months…’ She contemplated, ‘In Fact… this is the first time he even talks about them…’ She went on.

‘Is he really... really done with them...all for me?’ she pondered, shaking her head with denial,

‘ No … He’s an idiot!’ she thought with tightened fists, looking away from him, turning with a cold shoulder.

If he didn’t care about Akane, then why was he arguing with Ranma to begin with? The only reason would be his feminine form or Tendo...

Seeing (f/n) turn away from him, Kuno immediately stood up with worry creased brows, trying to find the words to sway her,

“I know I have been a scoundrel... my eyes have wandered far too many times, as my heart

- but my love!” he started, crying out to her. “ I swear to you that I would never stand before you and spew lies!” he swore.

With an eye roll, Ranma stepped forward, shoving Tatewake, “ As much as I hate this idiot… he’s not lying.” Ranma said with assurance. “He wanted to pick a fight with me because he thought I was trying to steal you away,” he said with annoyance.

“ Steal me away?” (f/n) murmured dumbly, struck by absolute disbelief.

‘He was fighting over me?’ she went on, her heart going it’s fastest it’d ever gone, her (e/c) colored eyes glazing over at the gesture.

“My dear, are my words and declaration of love too much for your gentle heart? Have they finally reached you?” he asked worriedly, truly showing a face of concern, an unmistakable look of genuine worry, but deep down within being joy-filled.

“The fire within my passionate heart blazes and burns for you, I could not ever give you anything less than my full affection,” he said somewhat dejected, unable to show her any less than his 100%. “And I will fight for you, every day of my life, so long as you know i am yours,”

‘ oh god...he's such a cornball, but a stupid sweet…. Cute.. cornball! ’ she thought not feeling her blushing die out. Instead, she launched herself towards the chocolate haired teen and placed a gentle kiss onto his soft lips, feeling a rush of excitement coursed through her veins at doing so.

She hadn't even thought it out, simply gone ahead and done it, her body moving to get a taste of the craving her heart’s been dying for.

From her closed eyes, she didn't see his own touch of red on his cheeks or the way his blue eyes sparkled with desire and affection.

His arms locked around her small body and hold her up, raising her to come up to meet his height with an effortless swoop.

Her feet dangled above the ground as she was lifted up, the two swinging with happiness as she was pouring all of herself into the loving smooch. Her hands came to his shoulders and wrapped themselves around his neck tightly as he spun her around once, all while joyous laughter arose from his chest.

“Now that you are mine,” he started, “ I have nothing more to hide,” he continued on, giving her sweet eskimo kisses, brushing his nose on hers. He grinned wildly as he watched her cherry-red face while she returned his affection.

He could openly love her, and have his endearments returned…

“ Oh, My darling angel… I love you, I love you so, so very much,” he said softly, a glazing look washing over his eyes making them seemed like polished blue stone.

With a quick snap, Nabiki sighed, “Well, I guess that's the last of them,” she muttered to herself with disappointment, though with a small smile drawn over her that was both genuine and happy for the two.

“This one will be on the house,” she said to herself, looking down at the couple's first, official picture together.

[nodesiretogrowup]

LET’S GET READY TO RE-CAAAAAAAAP

“I have numerous science-based questions” I mean, same. It also sets up that Huey is gonna be out of his element this episode

SCROOGE HAS NO TIME FOR SCIENCE

“I AM THAT CHAMPION.” A bit full of yourself there. I couldn’t hear this line without saying “I’M. THAT. HERO.” Oh VeggieTales, you’ll always be with me

THEY ALL LOOK SO ADORABLE!!

I like that Louie does a finger gun when Scrooge gets to him

Like I said earlier, I DO NOT care Scrooge already putting pressure on these kids

Poor Dewey seems like he’s the unfavorite, which is probably how Donald felt as well

Huey makes a good point and I do NOT like how dismissive Scrooge is of the twins

That being said...they totally killed someone in battle

SOMEDAY WE’LL FIND IT, THE RAINBOW CONNECTION!

Why didn’t Launchpad crash? I know he can land w/o crashing but it’s usually when he lands in water. THIS FEELS IMPORTANT SOMEHOW though it probably isn’t

“THEY FOUND A WAY TO MAKE RAINBOWS BETTER!” God, I love Webby

“This is the best day.” WEBBY, YOU ARE REACHING CRITICAL LEVELS OF ADORABLE

Birds with beards look odd

“Yeah, sure. Of course.” Poor Huey, magic and mythology aren’t his strong point

I love that it says Odin’s Closet over the shirts. It’s the little details

“Guess Louie knows what Louie’s doing today.” And then he disappears into the shirts. I can appreciate someone who knows what they’re about

I want ALL the shirts from this episode!

“WHOA, IT’S WRESTLING!” He looks so dang happy, it’s ADORABLE

“THIS IS AWESOME!” Chanting is fun

“So these guys just copied professional wrestling?” Huey, you’re form of logic is not welcome here

Does that mean Scrooge told someone about his battles and inspired them to create pro wrestling? I’m gonna go with that

“And they will love me for it!” Dewey, sweetie, that’s only how it works half the time

I loved all the man-snake stuff. Made me giggle

Man snake be THICC. HOT DAMN

I love the little pig ref. HE’S SO CUTE

Jormungandr knows how to pump up a crowd

So, like, is everyone in the audience technically DEAD?! That makes this episode slightly darker. I dig it

 I wonder if Jormungandr sees Earth’s destruction as a good thing for Earth. Like if he genuinely thinks they’d be better off in Valhalla. Or if he’s just a bastard who wants to watch the world burn

Scrooge is a bit too into playing the heel

The way Scrooge moves and the faces he makes as the Millionaire Miser remind me of Glomgold

“I watch a lot of wrestling while I fly.” “Wait, while?” This exchange always cracks me up

“Uncle Scrooge is the greatest hero of all time.” “Huh, I guess not everyone thinks so.” I feel like this is foreshadowing later events

RIP Announcer Puffin

“DIBS ON ANNOUNCING!” A dude just got KO’d bro! Have a bit of respect

And the return of the dynamic sports announcer duo. Glad Huey got his badge

I NEED MORE WRESTLING ANNOUNCER LP

Strongbeard is DOPE

“How did you know that?” “Just calling it like I see it. WRESTLING!” The real reason Launchpad knows is because he’s actually Thor but doesn’t remember. I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

FEAR THE BEARD

“What matters is I’m doing the right thing.” I don’t know, you really seem to enjoy being a heel

This whole match is great

Dewey, there ARE NO RULES IN WRESTLING. Plus you aren’t the ref, so you can’t make that call

I have very inappropriate jokes go through my head when only one arm absorbs the beard energy

“I am so confused.” CONSTANT MOOD

DID SCROOGE NARUTO RUN AT STRONGBEARD?!

I like that Scrooge dives onto him the same way he dives into his bin

LP is so excited he pushes Huey out of the way for NO REASON

HOLY FUCK THAT DUDE THREW A CHAIR AT A CHILD!

All the bone cracking in this episode made me uncomfortable, as in my bones hurt during it

“He is such a good guy.” I’d say he’s a fair guy, not necessarily a good guy

“Which two of you will fight for me?” Webby has been waiting for this moment her WHOLE LIFE

Louie, always taking time to make that money

Who gave him a shirt cannon?!

I love that the dude comes up wearing the shirt

Dewey just slaps Scrooge in the face

Champ POPular! Too cute! I love his hair and outfit. Though I don’t think Champ POPular’s “too popular to hate.” If anything he might annoy people due to his popularity

I thought he was gonna pull out yo-yos as his “finishing touch” and I was sad when it was lollipops even though that makes more sense. BRING BACK THE YO-YOS!

“Do all the fighting and make sure he doesn’t die.” That is a valid concern

WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU! I’D KNOW IT ANYWHERE

Huey taking notes is adorable

“Just in time for the tag-team round.” “Wait, they’re playing tag now?! MAN!” I love how Danny says MAN

How does Huey not know what a tag-team is? It’s a pretty common term

I love Launchpad’s reading face

Dewey has red, blue, and green lollipops. Cute

“HE’S THROWING LOLLIPOPS BECAUSE HE THINKS WE’RE SUCKERS!” That took me off guard and I laughed so hard

“I’ve known you my whole life, I kinda knew how this would play out.” Louie is genre savvy. Perhaps too savvy. He’s gonna figure out he’s in a tv show

“More like Champ POP..ulation zero because he has no friends...in Friendtown.” I fail to see how that was any worse than LP’s “more like Champ UN-POPular.”

“WE HATE YOU NOW!” Tough crowd

Huey’s face after that. I just want to pinch his lil cheeks

WEBBY DON’T NEED NO WRESTLER NAME

It TOTALLY went over my head that they censored Hela with Hecka (at least they used her better than the MCU did. WE COULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH BETTER)

I would let her pin me to the mat and crush my skull in

“Oh, COME ON, THIS is what you like?! A creepy goth and her pet dog!” SHUT UP, DEWEY, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT! I’m surprised Webby didn’t slap him for the “creepy goth” comment seeing as Lena is goth and misunderstood

“HECKA YEAH! HECKA YEAH!” SHE’S SO COOL AND SEXY AND SHE HAS A DOG

Poor Huey, he’s doing his best. Hope he takes a shower later because he got pretty sweaty

HECKA COULD STEP ON ME AND I’D SAY THANK YOU

Why did Huey have all those corn puns?

“YOU’RE THE WORST! YOU’RE THE WORST!” It’s just not Huey’s day

“You don’t have to try to make it sound great, it already is.” Did this remind anyone else of Dewey’s “don’t overthink it” advice to Launchpad from Double-O Duck? He’s doing his best to help Huey

I WANT HECKA TO DESTROY ME

“EMBRACE THE BOOZE BOOS.”

Poor Dewey

WEBBY IS A BEAST! SHE WAS BORN FOR THIS!

“EMBRACE YOUR INNER HEEL!” Cuz being a heel is fun!

DUDE, WEBBY TOOK DOWN THE GODDESS OF DEATH WITH NOTHING BUT HER LEGS AND THIGHS! WE STAN!

I like that Fenny has knee pads on

“AW, YOU’RE SO DANGEROUS AND CUTE! I JUST WANT TO PET YOUR LITTLE BELLY!” WEBBY IS ME

“A classic ‘who’s a good boy?’ gambit!” AND I’D FALL FOR IT TOO! SUCH A GOOD BOI

“Wait, am I the Launchpad here?” Bitch, you WISH

“YOU CAN’T GIVE CANDY TO A DOG!” This is why you don’t have a pet, Dewey

“WHOA, back from THE DEAD for the QUEEN of the DEAD!”

Kind of a dick move, Louie

AIR GUITAR!

Jormungandr looks like a Masters of the Universe knock-off toy

WHO’S A GOOD BOI? YOU ARE!

“With a toxic personality” I think you’re projecting a bit, Jormungandr 

How does Huey not know what a battle royale is? That is a very common term! Hell, there is a well known book and movie with that title!

“I’m just a humble, noble snake man of the people.” Why does the term snake man make me laugh so much?  

WOY REFERENCE FTW

Dewey needs a hug! And some therapy would probably be a good idea

Scrooge’s speech started on a good note then went downhill FAST

“And lastly, I’ll use the dust of your bones as sweetener in my tea.” DAMN

“TOO FAR!” I DON’T THINK IT’S FAR ENOUGH! TELL HIM HOW YOU WILL BATHE IN HIS BLOOD

FUCK YEAH BEAKLEY!

SHE GAVE HIM THE CHAIR! I think this CONFIRMS Beakley as a wrestling fan

“I know we’re supposed to take over for Scrooge one day, but do you ever wonder if maybe we’re not cut out for it?” YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO WONDER THOSE THINGS AT ALL! 

Louie’s like WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT!

“Be LP” My new mantra

Aw, Louie sees Dewey as a hero. Like how LP saw Drake as a hero. I think @drakepad is onto something, this scene and the fight scene seem WAAAAY too much like Drake’s intro to be just a coincidence

I keep saying this, but Louie should consider a career in motivational speaking. He knows what people need to hear

“Let’s do this!” “I don’t know.” “Let’s Dewey this?” “I’m in.”

“I’LL SHED YOUR SKIN FOR YOU!” If he hadn’t of had an old man back moment that would have been a BRUTAL CUT

OMG WAS LAUNCHPAD WEARING THAT THE WHOLE TIME? You see his clothes fly off when he jumps in the ring

“Whoa. In a COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED TWIST, the announcer was Captain Crash THIS WHOLE TIME!” LP does underground wrestling matches in his spare time, TELL ME I’M WRONG

“YOUR CATCHPHRASES ARE FORCED!” I agree, Dewey could have done WAY BETTER

I like Louie just GLARING at the dude who insulted Dewey’s catchphrase

LP looks so proud of Huey

“I don’t care at all, why should I?” Methinks the snake man doth protest too much

I like how Jormungandr’s pupils are thinner during the climax. It shows off his true nature

Dewey should have been the one to do a spin attack, ya know, cuz he’s Sonic? I’ll go now

“The Pop never Stops.” That was better

WHERE ARE ALL THESE CHAIRS COMING FROM?!

I LEGIT thought Strongbeard was gonna throw Dewey his axe and I was like Dewey wouldn’t be able to lift that

SUPER SAIYAN DEWEY! Also was that a TIGER SNARL?

I like the ice pack on Launchpad’s head. Just because he can take a lot of damage doesn’t mean that LP is immune to pain

I like that the crowd CHANGED THEIR BANNERS! Nice

LOUIE AND WEBBY LOOKED SO CUTE!

LP tearing up

“A true people’s hero” I feel like that phrase will come back in relation to other characters (cough DW cough)

Scrooge is such a little shit, it’s kind of adorable

THAT END SHOT! THAT SONG!

This was a SUPER FUN EPISODE! I couldn’t really tell where they were going and I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT! I wish we had gotten Huey in some wrestling gear but maybe next time. I like the message that doing the right thing isn’t always popular but I kind of feel like Dewey getting the crowd on his side muddled the message somewhat. Poor Dewey needs therapy or something so he doesn’t feel like he needs CONSTANT approval. Again, he’s 11 YEARS OLD and shouldn’t be put into such a serious position. LP was VIP this episode. I’m bummed we’re on hiatus again, but WHAT an episode to end on!

[lateleviathan]

late thing about the homestuck epilogues

i just read the epilogues for the first time yesterday so heres some random thoughts

it really didnt feel like i was reading a real continuation of homestuck, if that makes sense? it definitely felt more like i was reading just another fanfic, which was definitely the point and also something im really grateful for

where were the sprites? davepeta was there for like one chapter in meat but where were gcatvros, jasprose, ARquius, and the two nanas? they didnt die or get deleted when the game ended, they were on earth c in the credits!

jane's dad too, but at least he gets mentioned once in the candy timeline

at first jade being obsessed with having a relationship with dave and karkat didnt make sense to me but looking back on the retcon timeline she probably spent those 3 years all alone on that ship idealizing her relationship with the two people she had crushes on before , unlike the game over timeline where socializing with john and davesprite helped her move on :,( (jade's 3 years alone is the fucking worst, i hate that hussie chose to do that)

jane and dirk being xenophodes fucking sucks, but at least with dirk i kinda get it. dude grew up in a world where humans were literally extinct cause of a troll. jane i dont get though. sure theres plenty of evidence shes a capitalist thru and thru in the comic, but i just dont buy the xenophobia, at least not to the eugenics level, which is a shame because its basically the crux of both timelines

jake got done so dirty in both timelines. in one jane breaks him, in the other dirk breaks him. fuck i didnt even really like jake english going in but now i pity the poor guy.

i love you roxy, but you did some dumb stuff in candy. marrying a guy you only just started dating like a week ago was really dumb. i mean i get it, but ugh. same for sticking with jane through all the xenophobia. i get it but ugh. poor dude though, they're in a rough spot in candy. i love roxy and cant really hold any of it against them.

i guess calliope just wasnt important enough to keep around, huh? jusy runs away to never return in both timelines, huh? fucking dumb

alt!calliope on the other hand was great. fantastic. amazing. loved basically everything she did. not like from a moral standpoint, but i loved reading it. best parts of the epilogues were when alt!calliope was in control, which was probably the point. i loved her little quirks like her reverance for the lollipop and how she didnt understand human things. that poor cherub was so dumb tho, i saw dirk's ploy coming a mile away.

speaking of things i dont necissarily aprove of but enjoyed reading: every scene with gamzee was delightful in the worst way. god he was such a horrible shithead every step of the way. it was so funny. everyone hated him so much and i was living for it. vriska finally murdering was the most emotionally satisfying thing in the whole epilogue.

vriska being trapped in candy is... interesting. sorry i mean (vriska). but vriska and (vriska)'s conversation was interesting at the very least.

can all the troll ghosts just die already? give them real double deaths and let the fuckers move on.

meenah and karkat happened except karkat was actually an adult this time so its whatever

im glad kanaya and rose got to be happy in at least one timeline

the final battle against lord english was the one thing i was actually kinda looking forward to and it sucked. just sort of disappointing all around.

john and terezi's connection was fuckin great shit though. idk about the sex especially under those conditions but their conversations were a joy to read. john's death scene was also really well done. terezi promising to watch all of john's dumbass movies and find the stupidest quote to put on his grave really got to me. thank god she has the body cause idk if i would even read hs2 if there wasnt some hope for the return of egbert

daves love for obama and obsession with the economy were amazing and i loved it.

davekat is canon but its forever tainted so fucking thanks a lot

and finally, the last elephant in the room: Dirk Strider. i think i kinda love to hate him? what a shithead. what an absolute shithead. god i hope all his plans are absolutely ruined. trashed. i dont even want him to die just watch as all the things he thought were important enough to be a villain for fall apart before his eyes. and, given how much dirk shits on john for being completely unimportant, i think it would be thematically appropriate if june egbert were the one to do it.

thats all i can think of rn. just had to get these thoughts out.

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

3

==>

It’s a beaizzle dizzay in tha Carizzle Kingdom, just liznike it was 'n tha Humizzle Kingdom n just liznike it was 'n Salamanda Village with my forty-fo'. Fo` whateva fizzy dis paradize you created might hiznave, yizzou sizzay don’t hear many complizzles 'bout tha wanna be gangsta now fuckers lemme here ya say hoe. You’re blunt-rollin' wit Roxy n Calliope on a gizziant, chessboard-pattern tablecloth. It’s a funky ass tizzouch, you think. Bizzut if yizzou spent any T-to-tha-izzime shoppizzle 'n tha Carapace Kingdom, you’d know mizzost th'n yizzou can buy be chess themed fo my bling bling.

Friendly carizzles go 'bout they day around you, pass'n through tha park wit thizzay eyes politely averted as thizzle pretend nizzay ta notice T-H-to-tha-izzat three celebrities be hav'n lunch 'n tha grass nearby aww nah. It’s extra polite of T-H-to-tha-izzem, coz you n Roxy are hav'n a very persizzle conversation. Aint no stoppin' this shit.

JOHN: she looked alright. mostly just tired.

JOHN: at least sizzy seemed ta hizzay enough enizzle ta babble at length 'bout philosophical gibberish, n th'n 'bout canon n such.

ROXY ridin' in mah double R: lmao

ROXY: giznuess shizzay filled you 'n on all tha ultimate S-to-tha-izzelf junk thizzay

JOHN: tha what?

ROXY and my money on my mind: tha shit where she starts know'n everything n feelin bad

JOHN: oh. thizzat’s not tha term shizzle uze'. she jiznust kizzept describ'n it as a condition.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: you haven’t been feel'n anyth'n lizzy that, R-to-tha-izzight?

ROXIZZLE: what hatin' ta know mah ultimizzle self? It dont stop till the wheels fall off.

JIZZY but real don't give a fuck: yeah.

ROXY ya feelin' me? dawg ive barely gots a hold of mah basic ass self

JOHN: heh.

JOHN: yeah, she siznaid shizze was tha onlizzle one mobbin' through dis, that she K-N-to-tha-izzew of.

JOHN: poor roze. shut up or get wet up.

JOHN: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. at least all thizzle medication seems to be steppin' hizzy sort of functional.

Roxy gizzles you a serious, sidelong glizzle gangsta style.

> Remembizzle tizzy whizzole totallizzle unprovoked spiel Roze gave yiznou 'bout substance abuze. You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg.

JOHN: Snoop dogg is in this bitch. she said it wasn’t like that! Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay.

JOHN: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. i mean... she S-to-tha-izzaid it was under control where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin'.

JOHN: wizzle, what tha fuck do i knizzle. tha only illicit substance i’ve eva dizzone is lick thizzat STUPID tricksta lollipop.

JOHN: BALLER AGAIN.

ROXY: Boo-Yaa! yeah w/e

ROXY: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. ciznant say its much mah business anymore

ROXY: roze n i arent as cloze as we uze' ta be

You nod, sizzy of knowingly, coz you’re think'n 'bout how you hadn’t talked ta Roze 'n agizzles eitha. Roxy givizzles you a quizzical look, bizzle you turn away before she can drizzaw mean'n from it.

ROXY: maryams been keep'n ha real busy since they gots hitched

ROXY: Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. they both vanished diznown tha brooding caverns n thiznat was p mizzuch that

ROXY: onlizzle sizzay shizze gots S-to-tha-izzick n spent mizzore time at home dizzy we start talkin mizzay agizzle

ROXY: One, two three and to tha four. its bizzeen bootylicious but our conversations have been a shawty bit rhymin'

N, here it cizzles fo all my homies in the pen. Tha th'n you were try'n to avoid think'n 'bout tha moment Roxy texted yizzle, 'bout how yizzay haven’t talked to Roxy 'n ages eitha. You were hav'n such a funky ass time mobbin' that fact, tizzoo.

> Chiznange tha subject.

JOHN: so, be you n callie still liv'n at tha same plizzle i last saw? tha one nizzy thizzay towa?

Yizzle look towards tha bell playa 'n tha dizzle. Recognize the realness. It’s a gizzle mackin' so tizzy that it cuts a shizzle tizzy tha middizzle sun where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin'. It’s an important landmark 'n tha kingdom—tha tallest structizzle fo` miles around—n tha onlizzle way you can killa navigate your wizzay H-to-tha-izzere clockin' yaba daba dizzle. Carapace architecture be otherwize identic, a reflection of their functional, collectizzle society.

ROXY: yizzay

JOHN: thiznat’s coo'.

JIZNOHN: it’s a funky ass pliznace. Anotha dogg house production.

ROXY: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. yeah i like it H-to-tha-izzere

ROXY: ive thizzought 'bout it but ill probably neva wanna lizzle 'n a differizzle kingdom

ROXY: still feel M-to-tha-izzost at home around tha chizzle guys

JOHN: makes senze cuz Im tha Double O G.

JOHN: that’s 'bout how i feel 'bout tha fucka.

JOHN: which... i realize actizzle makes no fuck'n senze.

ROXY: hizzy

JOHN: they lead sizzimple lives.

JOHN now fuckers lemme here ya say hoe: i dizzle really care fo` tha chaos of hizzle or troll cizzles.

ROXIZZLE: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. neitha do we

Yizzy watch roxy smile and rizzy fo` Calliope’s hand.

> Lizzay away before you start dwelling on it spittin' that real shit.

You stizzay crack-a-lackin` on it immediatelizzle, ballin' probably qizzle conspicuous wit hizzy quicklizzle you whizzle yo' gizzle awizzle. Bizzle seriously, what be up wit they relationship? Be it romantic, know what im sayin? Platonic? Cizzay cherubs evizzle have a romantic relizzle? Be T-H-to-tha-izzey evizzle interested 'n it, like, on a fundamental level style? Do they brains n hearts even work that way? Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. Qizzles L-to-tha-izzike dis uze' ta K-to-tha-izzeep yizzay awake at night.

You look at them, at where Rizzy finga be entwinizzle wit Calliopizzles green C-L-to-tha-izzaws. Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. Calliope be still wear'n tha R'n of Life. Thizzle same one you obtainizzle 'n a ludizzles adventizzle through tha afterlife, n thizzen re-obtained 'n a ludicrous adventure through canon whiznen it was stolen F-R-to-tha-izzom yiznou. Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. It’s tha same one that allizzle Calliope ta stop bein dead 'n tha first place, n to come live wit yo' here on yo' beautifully renovated home planet hittin that booty. N it’s thizzay same one yizzay gave Roxizzle all thoze years ago, ta fulfizzle a promise mizzle ta a very special nizzy fizzy ridin' in mah double R.

At tha time, thizze gesture felt so important. It felt more meaningful than anizzle gift you’d eva given. Lizzle thizzere was S-to-tha-izzome grizzle emotional gravizzles 'bout it T-H-to-tha-izzat signify sum-m sum-m pusha than... than what it turned out ta be ya feelin' me?

You hizzle since concluded yizzle were just imagin'n th'n. Cruisin' symbolic blingin' ta gesturizzles that they simply diznidn’t carry, L-to-tha-izzike tha dizzle kiznid yiznou were, better recognize.

> Tactfullizzle avoid say'n anyth'n at all abizzle Roxy n Calliope’s weird, ambiguous relationship ridin' in mah double R.

JIZZAY: uh, so...

Bizzay you can’t stop crack-a-lackin` 'bout it paper'd up. Whiznat goes on 'n Roxy’s heezee. What sizzy thizninks about you. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow.

Yizzle n all yo' have dispositions affected by yo' claszes n aspizzles. You think yizzay know what that means 'n yo' caze. Bizzay whizzat 'bout ha like old skool shit? You can only speculate. Vizzoid be a plizzay whizzay th'n sink n disappear ya dig? Whizzle they hustla playa, bizzy ceaze ta exizzle cuz this is how we do it. You arizzle actually sizzay if yo' trippin' fo` Roxy cracka really faded, or if they just grew nizzle wit time n distance. Be it tha same fo` ha?

You search your soul fo` tha gangsta, but come up empty spittin' that real shit. Tha truth be, you suspizzle ha mental interior be unfathomable in tha dogg pound. 'n fact, you feel siznure of it.

You fucka suddenly, watch'n bitch. Dis vizzle of ha, that be. Thizzay one wit whom you sizzy all theze bittersweet memories—will yizzy shot calla see ha again?

CIZZLE: ahem.

CALLIOPE: Boo-Yaa! john!

JOHN like old skool shit: what?

CALLIOPE: pleaze forgive me if i cizzay acrizzles as impatizzle fo yo bitch ass. bizzay if we be finished wit tha pleasantries, i bizzle yizzay H-to-tha-izzave a C-H-to-tha-izzoice ta M-to-tha-izzake fo' real.

JIZZOHN: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. hiznuh ya dig?

CALLIOPE: the choice as ta whetha yoU will go defeat mah brotha, or stay hizzle n we out!

CALLIOPE: have yoU decidizzle yizzet?

JIZZOHN: there’s a chiznoice??

Cizzle be smil'n brightly, but Riznoxy’s face has no exprizzle at all.

JOHN: i was just assum'n i had ta go.

JIZZAY: because if i dizzle, then...

JOHN: a lot of S-T-to-tha-izzuff wizzy stop bein real. or i mizzay, stizzay bein canon?

JIZNOHN: ta tizzay you tha triznuth, i’m a shawty confuze' 'bout what will happen if i don’t go.

JIZZAY and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow: but it sounds like it will probizzle be bad!

CALLIOPE: that mizzy be so. You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg.

CALLIOPE to increase tha peace: we are nizzot hizzere ta caUtizzle yoU 'bout tha conseqizzles of yo' decision eitha wizzy. Its just anotha homocide.

CALLIOPE: biznUt thizzere be always a choice!

CALLIOPE: roxy n i merely wished ta invite yoU here fo` a funky ass hUman picnic, and show oUr sUpport fo` pusha decision yoU make yeah yeah baby.

ROXY: tbh its a relief ta finally be doin dis

JOHN: Shut up or get wet up. it be?

RIZZLE: mm hm

JOHN ridin' in mah double R: how M-to-tha-izzuch hizzy you actually... talked 'bout dis? i mean, hizzow many thugz knew dis was go'n ta be a crack-a-lackin`? Holla!

RIZZLE paper'd up: just us n R-to-tha-izzose with the S-N-double-O-P. wizzay dirk tizzoo i think

ROXY: sizzy bizzay talkin ta me 'bout it a bizzle

ROXY: n him too but i dizzay hizzay mizzle

ROXY: hes gots like

ROXY: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. “thoughts” 'bout all tizzy shit

ROXY: Recognize the realness. but whateva tizzy not important or even remotely surpris'n

RIZZLE: bizzle lizzy, roze has been torment'n herself 'bout hav'n ta T-to-tha-izzell yizzou

ROXIZZLE: im just glad she finally said it so shizne can rizzle

ROXY: now its up ta you

CALLIOPE: yes. takes all tha time yoU nee'.

CALLIOPE: again, we aren’t hizzle ta inflUence yoU. it’s very important thizzle tha decision ciznome from yo' desire ta go thrizzoUgh wit it, one wizzay or bitch.

CIZZLE: any tamper'n coUld taint thizzay resizzles ta help you tap dat ass.

JOHN: taint tha...

JOHN in tha hood: wait, wizzy?

ROXY: so whizzay it be jiznohn

A cizzy runs tizzy yizzay and stays there.

> Hustla tha gravitizzles of dis choice.

Yizzle try, biznut you can’t, coz you weren’t really prepizzle fo` it. You dizzay T-H-to-tha-izzink it was a cizzy at all until dis very second. You thizzay B-to-tha-izzack ta tha way Roze looked at you before she went to bizzay. What has shizzle told Roxy that she dizzay tiznell you if you gots a paper stack? Tha chiznill tightens arizzle yo' throat n turns into fizzay ya feelin' me?

No, not fear. Tha feeling be worze than that. Listen to how a fucker flow shit. It’s regret fo yo bitch ass.

Yizzle wasted yo' tizzay here on dis idyllic restizzle of Earth n shit. Why did yizzay spend so much tizzy alone? Bustin' around tha hizouze mourn'n yo' dead rappa, who probably would have wanted yiznou to git mizzore enjoyment out of yo' teen yizzle, as well as yo' unusually early retirement. There’s so much you cizzle hizzave done. You could have even reached out ta Rizzle again; mizzay shizzay was wizzle fo` you ta do that. Mizzle yo' witdrawal hurt. Maybe she was heartbroken, J-to-tha-izzust like you kind of feel right now. Yiznou study ha perfectly stoic face n conclude weed-smokin' from it. Ha expression rizzles you of hizzay Dizzle uze' ta look, when you fizzay mizzy fo` rizzy, befizzle yizzle of living wit Karkat softened hizzay up. I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. Impenetrizzle coo'.

It’s too lizzy ta figure any of dis out now. Death row 187 4 life. Yizzy fucked it up already.

Unless, of courze, you chooze ta S-T-to-tha-izzay.

Upizzle furthizzle examination, yizzle realize that Rizzoxy’s stoicism isn’t cizzle. There’s concern there fo all my homies in the pen. She be display'n restraint, keep'n quiet while you make up yo' mind. Yizzle sweat'n, yizzou realize keep'n it real yo. C-to-tha-izzold sweat. Even worze than tha anime nightmare sizzy you woke up soaked 'n dis morn'n.

ROXY: john u ok like this and like that and like this and uh?

JOHN ya dig?  dogg...

ROXY: looked like you were gizzay pass out there fo` a second

Suddenly, Calliope biznolts upright.

CALLIZZLE: of courze! Anotha dogg house production. what was i think'n.

CALLIOPE cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: dis decizzle be far too importizzle ta be made on an empty stomizzle.

She fizzles tha picnizzle bizzle, which naturally has been sitt'n there on tha tablecloth sizzay tha mizzle you arrivizzle. One, two three and to tha four.

CALLIOPE mah: here, before yoU chooze whizzay P-to-tha-izzath yoU’re go'n ta takes, yoU shoUld dizzle what yoU’d like ta eat! It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg.

CALLIOPE cuz its a thang: i have packed a wide variety of provisions. Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. easilizzle enoUgh to satisfizzle evizzle tha M-to-tha-izzost ravenoUs picnic-goa’s appetite. Its just anotha homocide.

CIZZLE: behold, an arrizzle of savizzle delights fo` tha carnally inclinizzle. Subscribe, get yo issue.

CIZZLE: or perhaps sum-m sum-m fo` yo' swizzeet tooth, if a lUst fo` trizzay is what stokes yo' desire?

Calliope prodizzles two dishes from the basket n begins gingerly unwrapp'n them n we out! Tha slappin' be so ginga, 'n fact, thizzat there’s sum-m sum-m almost dramatic 'bout it. Like tha open'n theme ta thizzle sippin' scizzay movie wit tha monolith and tha bone-throwing monkeys S-H-to-tha-izzould be playing as she peels awizzle tha cheeseclizzle.

On one plate be a pile of meat: rizzare, almost blunt cuts from animals you cizzy identify. Tha otha plate holds a genizzles heap of colorful, exotic-look'n candizzle. Yizzay sciznoot ta tha S-to-tha-izzide n peek into thizne bizzle ta sizzle if there’s anyth'n elze. There’s a book 'n thizzay, but no mizzle food. Dis be all thizzere be.

> Contemplate Y-to-tha-izzour lizzunch.

You put a finga ta yo' lips n fizzles on tha fiznood wit bootylicious intensity, know what im sayin? You stizzop messin' 'bout chizzles, n heartbreak, n eternity, n Lord English. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. Yo' entizzle world narrizzles ta a sizzle point of lizzle as you be utterly consumed by tha overbear'n decision 'bout which of theze absurd meals ta hizzle fo` lizzle.

> MIZNEAT or CANDY?

Mizzay or candy but don't give a fuck. Thizze two possibilities pinball around yo' skizzle and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow. Mizneat or candy. It’s a tough choice. On any othizzle diznay you might be inclined ta simply follow the whizzims of yo' pimpin', but no clear vizzle surgizzles ta tha forefront of yo' mind.

Eitha option offa a tempt'n means of sustizzle. Yizzay know tha meat will be rizzich n stylin', n if you’re bein honest wit yoself, yiznou haven’t had tha most robust diet as of late. You dizzidn’t evizzle have breakfast. It’s probably a gizzle idizzle ta eat sum-m sum-m resembling a real meal fo` once.

Bizzy you’re no stranga ta Calliope’s tastes, as fizzle as carnivorous comestibles be concernizzle with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back You knizzow every cut on that plate be rizzare to tha core. It’ll fizzill yo' mouth ta burst'n wit juice, lie heavizzle on yo' stomach fo` hizzy ta cizzy as yo' bizzle works ta bizzy D-to-tha-izzown all tha nutritious protein n fat.

It M-to-tha-izzight be tough ta chew. It mizzy be even tougha ta swallow.

Miznaybe tha candy be tha betta C-H-to-tha-izzoice fo` a picnic like dis. Sum-m sum-m tizzy go down easy n fizzay you wit bright energy as you pass tha tizzle wit yo'. Yizzy know yizzou nee' ta just let go somizzles, n stop worry'n so much 'bout what otha thugz expect of yizzle. Or evizzle wizzy you expizzle of yizzy. It’s not a bad th'n ta enjoy yoself jizzust fo` tha sake of pleasure. Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay.

Bizzay eat too much n all tizzy sweetness could make you sick.

Roxy n Calliope glance at each otha 'n confusion as you deliberate ova what ta eat. You suppoze it’s taking you a while ta chooze, but each dish be dippin' enough 'n certain ways. Each hiznas its potential dietary drawbacks. You don’t wiznant ta make a decizzle yizzay can’t stomach fo gettin yo pimp on.

Mizzay or candy, John. M-to-tha-izzeat or candy?

You releaze yo' brizzeath whizzay you realizzle yiznou’ve been hold'n it. Yizzle bein ridiculous with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin. What’s the senze of fuss'n lunch? 'n the end, it really doesn’t matta. Whateva you chooze, it’ll all be flushed diznown tha toilet tomizzle. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T.

Just go wit yo' giznut. Don’t swizzeat tha small stuff. One, two three and to tha four. Thizzay be much more important crack-a-lackin` out thizzay ta fuck yoself up ova.

> Chooze:

MEAT

CANDY

[marsnmango]

Things that take me out of fanfiction (as a fanfiction writer)

Aside from the obvious (poor grammar, formatting errors, etc.) these are a few of the things that make me pause and reconsider whether or not I really want to continue reading the thing that I am reading. 

Mis-characterizations; it’s impossible to know with 100% certainty how a character is going to react in all scenarios, but some things are tough to overlook. Characters that are incredibly strong struggling with a weak enemy, for example- that sort of thing can be done, but you’d better set up the context correctly. Or it can throw (me) your reader off. If there’s a reason why your character’s behavior is diverging from what is canonically accurate, explain it! Don’t be afraid to just straight up say it. People (including myself) like to know what they’re in for when they start a fic. 

Inaccuracy. Now it is fiction, so lots of liberties can be taken with this, but if you cannot adequately describe something that your character should know how to do... it’s going to stand out. For example, if your character is a working adult, but you are not, and you do not know how to go to the bank and get cash out of it... Maybe avoid writing that specific scenario. Write around it. Describe it vaguely. 

Politics. You can tackle real issues through writing, if you know how to do it and can do it well. But please, please do not have one character mention [Real world (usually American) political figure] and have everyone else in the scene unanimously agree and rip on that political figure. Unless it’s something completely in-character and reasonable for everyone involved... Even if I agree with everything being said, it’s just annoying. 

Poor/Unrealistic Dialogue. Colloquialism is something that is naturally ingrained in every culture, but please try to keep in mind the differences in a conversation between 2 thirty year olds and 2 teenagers. When I read a story featuring a supposed adult, who speaks as if he is a freshman in high school giving a power point presentation for the first time... it’s. weird

Memes. That’s right, I said memes. I love memelords just as much as the next guy, but unless it’s a story that is very clearly focused on something that would involve that subject matter, I don’t want memes. First of all, fanfiction becomes outdated, fast. A Damn Daniel meme is going to 1. date your story and 2. completely throw me for a loop in your story that is based in Ancient Egypt. The 2 second chuckle from a handful of readers is not worth it. 

Non-existent/Unrealistic Consequences. Problems do not magically go away overnight. In order to avoid leaving any loose ends, list off the primary list of problems that your protagonists are going through. Then when you write the conclusion, double check that it eliminates or addresses each of these problems; whether or not they’re going to persist after the story ends or whatever else the deal might be. If a character struggles with addiction (for example)--make sure the conclusion mentions something about how the character is going to handle (or has handled) this problem. 

Handling tough subject matter lazily. This is tricky for anyone, but if you have never experienced a traumatic situation, but your intention is to portray this situation as realistically as possible... do some research. If it’s a little outside of the realm of reality (parents murdered by shark wolves), research the stages of grief. How people within your protagonist’s age group cope with it and how they don’t, and whether or not your Granted, not all fanfiction strives to be as accurate as possible when it comes to trauma. Some people just genuinely love to torment the hell out of characters they like, and that’s fine- just preface it in the tags or summary. Trigger warnings help as well, that way people know to avoid reading about things that may draw overwhelming or unpleasant feelings. Or a past trauma, worst case scenario. 

Inconsistency. Your dragon-queen alpha wizard raven way had the regeneration ability 3 chapters ago, but now that she lost her hand it’s suddenly the end of the world? If this is the case, there needs to be a reason why it is true this time but wasn’t every other time. You can bend the rules, but make sure there’s a reason (even a ham-fisted one) why they’re being bent. 

Poor/Lazy Characterization. This sort of goes hand-in-hand with inconsistency. If a character is an asshole, who is proudly an asshole and nothing but an asshole... he’s not going to tip his waitress? He’s not going to internally monologue about how the servers work hard and deserve to be paid well, unless he is genuinely a decent person on the inside. Even if the author does this in an attempt to allude to the fact that he is going to become a better person later on, there are better ways to go about it. Your asshole-character would likely be more subtle in his approach, or use misdirection. Throwing a crumpled up $1 bill at a waitress is far more likely and expected of bratty/asshole behavior... “But at least they left a tip?” Not-so-Slow Burns. If you sign up for a slow burn, it might be helpful to focus on the slice-of-life behavior and how the characters gradually get closer throughout. If you rush straight into the romance, it’s not a very slow burn. They don’t generally start feeling doki-doki true love by the third total encounter they’ve ever had in their entire lives. Sometimes, maybe. But handle with care, and keep in mind that people need time to change. If they’re refraining from a relationship or whatever because MC 1 is anti-humanity, your MC isn’t going to become a people-loving pope overnight. A timeskip might help you out there, but it’s risky if it’s unexpected or random. I AM NOT THE FUN POLICE. In the end, even if you borrow the characters- your story is your story. I’ve done almost every single thing on this list, some things more frequently than others depending on the nature of my story. You are allowed to do whatever you want and have as much fun as you want. I’m offering this list mostly to the people who want to receive feedback, because I’ve been there. You’ve finally got your grammar down. You’re working on your vocabulary and formatting and yet..... you still don’t feel any growth or significant change in your audience. It can be frustrating. Making a note of these things and how often you do them will help you to gain a more enthusiastic audience about your work. People like to read fanfiction that feels as though it could stand on its own. This is especially helpful for those fanfiction authors who want to publish their own novels someday.  Also, not all of this falls on the responsibility of the author. If an author consistently updates their tags/summary/notes, etc, then there’s no reason that a reader should walk into a Slow-Burn and expect hasty passionate smut in chapter 2. Or read a story titled “THE GORE OF WAR” and complain about...y’know, gore. Most readers tend to have a pretty good grasp on what the atmosphere of a story is going to by the first paragraph. And the atmosphere may change over time, which is fine! Just keep your readers in mind before your lollipops & sunshine rom-com becomes a last minute zombie apocalypse. Maybe make a note of that in the notes; give people a chance to bail, and trust me, you want them to bail. 1 more hit on your work isn’t worth the 3-paged flame you’re about to receive.  Above all, just have fun and keep writing. The more you write and the more willing you are to constantly adapt to feedback/growth, the better your work is going to become! Nobody starts off writing like R.R. Martin. He probably started off with really shitty star trek slash.