#he’s not gonna be the muse for my next multi part fic for no reason
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achilles-rage · 2 months ago
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thinking about buck and eddie both working at the same ranch in montana sent tweet.
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pcyheartgirlx · 7 years ago
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In The Bleak Midwinter [CH3]
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Genre ;; Angst/Smut/Fluff/Romance
Pairing ;; Chanyeol x Reader x Seokjin
Word Count ;; 10.1k
Summary ;; “We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.”
You own a multi-billion dollar company, servicing the biggest names in kpop, in more ways than one. Under the name “Starlight Catering”, you, your best friends, Damon and Maya, and your hundreds of workers provide stress relief for idols.
You have partially retired, not because you didn’t want to, but because Chanyeol was your muse. He was all that you had time for and all you needed. Until Jin came along.
So what happens when you mix fire and ice?
You get smoke and all the lines are blurred.
A/N ;;  PLEASE CHECK OUT THE PLAYLIST I MADE FOR THIS FIC. This chapter is FLUFF. Tooth rotting, heart softening FLUFF.  I just want to thank everyone who is reading this so far. I’m really excited because you guys have NO idea what’s in store. I hope I’m doing a good job at keeping you guys fed <3 Anyway, this is a Jin chap. THE INTERACTION IS NEARING sdgiuhsduighsihe Y’all aint gonna be ready for it, I swear.
[PLAYLIST] [BACKSTORY] [PROLOGUE] [CH1] [CH2] [CH3] [CH4]
“I don’t care what you have to do to get me five minutes of his time. Just fuckin’ do it!” you screamed into your phone, scribbling away at some papers on your desk. “Fine, fine, fine,” you continued. “But I'm not going to fly back to America for nothing, so you better hope he has a change of heart within the next month or so.” You slammed the phone down on the receiver, picking it up again as it rang.
“Starlight Catering, this is (Y/N),” you answered, awaiting a reply. It was your recruiter, Ronnie,  giving you good news. The KBS Gayo was coming up and you were hoping to recruit new and exotic types of men and women for this event. Another goal you had was to find the classiest escorts you could.
“Well, fuck me,” You said laughing into the phone. “You’re brilliant, Ronnie. Send them over. Make sure they have their passports and I’ll wire you some money.” You stayed quiet as you listened to him. “Well, what do you expect? Russian girls are crazy…and money hungry.”
You exchanged a few more words, tapping the pen at your desk before you hung up. Everything was going according to plan, as usual. While you were rallying up the new numbers for your expenses, you heard a knock at your door. You didn’t answer.
“Oh hell, (Y/N) let me in!” Maya called from the other side of the door.
“Not a chance, Maya,” You replied. Scanning your den to see if you could find a certain account book, trying to ignore her swears.
“Please! I promise I won’t be a burden,” she begged. You got up and walked over to the bookshelf that kept all your financial records and pulled a binder out. Before walking back to your desk you took a glance at the door where Maya kept knocking and pleading repeatedly.
Being a CEO was stressful to say the least. Everything fell on your shoulders if shit hit the fan. But it wasn’t like you weren’t used to it. Living in New York City your whole life, your family was well known. Drugs, money laundering, prostitutes, hitmen, nothing moved in or out of the streets without your family’s say so. But you couldn’t do it anymore. Your life was constantly on the balance. People wanted you dead and they would stop at nothing. Hell, even your own family threatened your life. Even when you were a petty prostitute in Vegas trying to break free from your family name, working for shit money, even your last ditch efforts leaving the family and the country to be with Jiyong, they wanted you dead. That was four years ago. You remembered snorting away your problems just as Jiyong did.
“Get ready baby,” He said to you. His words still engraved into your head. “It’s going to be you and me, just like I said it would.” Look where that got you. Granted, you made a name for yourself and no one was out to get you anymore but...sometimes you wonder where you would be if you had just said no to him.
Thoughts of Jiyong were clouding your mind. You decided to let Maya in because if you were left alone, you would have gone to a dark place deep into the confines of subconscious.
“You’re lucky I love you, hoe,” You said as you opened the door. Maya let out a squeal and wrapped her arms around you.
“Can’t you bother Damon?” You choked into her embrace. She let you go and walked passed you, making her way to the chair in front of your desk.
“I did! But he kicked me out because he’s a rude cunt that wants to sleep rather than spend some time with his best friends,” she pouted at you as you sat back down in front of your papers, placing the binder in front of you, you began to flip the pages and study the contents.
“Yeah, well, try not to interrupt me, I’m really busy today. Ronnie just called me from Russia earlier and we’re getting a new shipment of—“
“Why hasn’t Yoongi called me?!” She cried out, interrupting your thought and doing the exact opposite of what you had asked her. You sighed and decided to humor her knowing that if you didn’t, she would probably get more upset than she needed to be.
“I don’t know, Babygirl,” you commented while flipping through another page, thumbing through some numbers. “Maybe he’s busy? You know he’s part of one of the busiest groups in the business.”
“Yixing is the busiest person in China and he still calls me!” She scoffed and slumped back in her seat. You were a little surprised, to be honest.
“Yixing still calls you?” You had an idea but never wanted to ask. Maya was always sensitive about Yixing. She used to say it all the time, he was the man she was going to stop trapping for. But just like most, when the trap life reels you in and you see dollar signs next to 7 digit numbers, you lose touch of what’s important to you. You knew that too well.
“Of course he does!” She crossed her legs and leaned her head on her hand. “We had something special, you know.”
“I told you, you should have gone with him,” you replied in a somewhat condescending voice. Accepting that you weren’t going to get any work done, you closed the binder and interlaced your fingers giving your best friend your undivided attention.
“And leave you guys? You’re out of your bloody mind,” she scoffed. “Plus I know he’ll be back (OT9 fuck yea, okay sorry)...eventually.” Her voice trailed off as she began to lose herself in her thoughts.
“Well, you have Minseok and Jackson. You’re not completely alone,” you said trying to make her feel better. She just shook her head and shot you down.
“Yea well, they’re not Yixing...or Yoongi,” she pouted while crossing her arms. “It’s not like you can relate anyway. You have Chanyeol!” You lowered your gaze and pursed your lips. “By the way,” she started as she leaned in. “Hows that been going? Why haven’t you seen him lately?”
“Because he’s been busy and so have I,” you stated simply. She scrunched up her face, disliking your answer. “What? It’s the truth, he’s been working closely with his dance instructor. You know he’s improving,” you sighed as she rolled her eyes. “What was all that for?”
“Because you’re just lucky!” She threw her hands up in frustration. “It’s been the same amount of time and you’re over here just calm as ever. I wish I could be like that.”
Truthfully, it did bother you. You were just as frustrated as Maya. But you know it wasn’t intentionally. On the plus side, he called you every so often to check up on you. But, he wasn’t the only reason. Jin crossed your mind many times this week. Your whole week was out of whack. Still, sometimes you wish you were like Maya. She never hid how she was feeling and was always vocal about her emotions. You never allowed yourself to do any of that. You did exactly what you’re doing now, drown yourself in work.
“That’s because I keep myself busy,” you added, leaning back in your chair, stretching your arms over your head. “You used to work the casinos back in Birmingham. Why don’t you buy someone out here and take over?” She shook her head and scoffed in disgust.
“No, no,” She retorted, putting her hands up and shaking them. “That’s a part of me that will stay in Birmingham. I don’t want anything to do with that utter mess.”
“If you say so,” you shrugged and sat back. Maya still had a look of utter dismay. She was extremely sensitive even if she played the tough girl act. You saw through everything. Sometimes, she saw through you too. She was one of the few that you had let close to you, along with Damon. Suddenly a thought came back to you as you glanced at the time.
“Hey, what do you say you get your nails done by Coco? My treat,” you said sweetly to her. “She should be here any minute.” Still pouting, she looked over at you intrigued.
“Can I get the diamonds?” she asked. Her mood changed instantly. She was like a dog wagging her tail, waiting for a treat.
This fucking bitch, you thought. She’s definitely milking it.
“Yes babygirl, you can get the diamond--”
“Okay! Thank you so much! Have I told you lately how much I love you? Because I love you a lot,” she gushed. You just rolled your eyes at her and looked at your black nails.
“What color are you going to get?” she asked looking at your nails as well. You paused a minute, thinking about it intently.
“I think...I don’t know...maybe black again,” you said confidently. Maya scrunched her face up at you.
“Of course,” you just smirked at her comment and continued to study your grown out nail color, not being able to think of any other color you wanted. Your thought was broken as the phone rang. It must be Coco you thought as you picked it up.
“Starlight Catering, This is (Y/N),” you chimed.
“(Y/N), hey it’s me,” You heard Jin’s voice on the other side of the phone. Suddenly you had jumped up out of your chair, fist pumping into the air and sat down calmly as ever. Maya just shot you a look of utter confusion and disgust.
“Seokjin! How are you?” you said in the sweetest voice you could muster. Maya was at the edge of her seat, watching you intently as she knew too that you were waiting for this phone call all week.
“Oh, I’m okay. Thank you for asking. I hope you’re well,” he said, his voice was as soft as you remembered.
“I am, thank you,” you lied. After all, it was your favorite lie. There was a pause on the phone. You could tell he was still nervous about this whole thing. You thought maybe you should take the first step but you were thankful when he beat you to it.
“Are you busy later?” he asked hopefully.
“Hm,” you replied, trying not to seem too eager. It was always best to keep a man on their toes. “I don’t think so. How late are we talking?”
“About 7:00 this evening?” So early you thought. But you did want to see him. You decided to take that risk. The details could be hashed out later.
“Sounds good,” you smiled into the phone. “See you then.” The minute you hung up, Maya started jumping up and down waving her hands.
“Bitch! How?!” she started stomping around, screaming. “I’m so excited for you, bitch, but how? Bitch how? How? Why not me, bitch?” You laughed at her while she threw her tantrum.
“Y’all bitches need to get your fucking lives together because Coco has been ringing the doorbell for 20 minutes and y’all are just in here calling each other bitches,” Damon interjected as he entered the room, Coco following behind him.
“I got here as quick as I could! And to be kept waiting outside,” she said, all her equipment in hand and placed it on your desk. You ran over to her and took it from her, being respectful as she was your Noona.
“I’m so sorry, I was on a business call that I just wrapped up! Would you like something to drink? Maya go get her something--”
“No, it’s quite fine. Damon already offered, dear,” she took your hand and examined it. “Are you sticking to the same color?”
“Of course she is. Why would she--”
“Actually,” you said cutting Maya off, looking down as your black nails. “I think I’ll go pink instead.” Bringing your hand back up to your face, you tried to envision the color on you...and against someone else’s skin.
x-x-x
“I don’t know why I’m so excited, Damon,” you said as you walked down the block near the BigHit dorms. You didn’t want to ruin your makeup so you had your Bluetooth on. Maya always said you reminded her of an old man in a taxi when you had it on.
“I don’t know either bitch,” Damon replied with an attitude. “Chanyeol is so much hotter than him anyway.” You rolled your eyes at his statement.
“Stop. It’s not a competition.”
“You’re right because Chanyeol wins by a landslide. Jin looks like he’s into that soft, slow jams fucking. Like he wants to make love and shit,” you laughed at his comment.
“So what?” you spat back.
“Oh no...no, no, no. Matter of fact, nah,” Damon chanted.
“Nah what?” The New York accent in you was creeping out. “What’s wrong with that?”
“You not about to get soft on me, bitch,” you could hear the New York in him creeping out as well. “Fuck that, I will cut you, you heard me, hoe? I swear to god, you deadass wilding with that shit. (Y/N), you really testing me--”
“Damon, you sound like your mom right now,” you chuckled. He gasped right away.
“You take that back, bitch. You know what? You better put respect on my name because I know where you sleep, and girl--.” Sometimes you missed when you and Damon could speak freely like when you guys were back home. This wasn’t one of these times, though.
“Listen, I just got to the front of the building,” you said, cutting him off. Your voice echoing in the lobby. “I promise I’m not getting soft and I promise I will call you when I’m on my way home.”
“Let me tell you something about promises,” he started. “If you come home and you look like you fell pussy first into the arms of another dick, I promise I will tie your titties into a bow and staple them to your chest. THAT’S a promise.”
“Aw, I love you too sweetie,” you replied sweetly, unphased by his comments. “I’ll talk to you later though, bye!”
“Bitch you better not hang up on me because I’m not done--” and with that, you hung up on him. You wiped your hands on your dress as you boarded the elevator. It wasn’t just excitement, it was nerves. Jin made you feel things you haven’t felt before. And part of you was hoping that this time, it would be different. You wanted to feel him plow into you, fucking you like it was the last time he was going to see you. Hope was all you had left as you approached the familiar door. You gave it a knock before hearing footsteps scurrying towards it.
“(Y/N), wow you look stunning,” he said in awe. You smiled brightly at him. Stunning wasn’t the word for you as it was for him. He was wearing a bright blue Balenciaga button down with stark white pants. He looked angelic.
“Oh no,” you brought your hand up to push your hair behind your ear. “I don’t look any different from the last time you saw me.” He returned the smile.
“I know,” he smirked at his own pickup line and you couldn’t help but beam happily at him. “Well, come in. I don’t want the food to get cold.” Food? You thought to yourself.
“Um, did you say food?” you said as you followed him in. He simply nodded. “You didn’t eat dinner yet, I’m sorry. Did I come too early? I can wait.” You continued while walking into the kitchen. You noticed that the round table had two dinner settings and two glasses. “Um...I’m confused.”
“Come,” he walked over to the table and pulled the chair out for you, motioning you to come over. “Sit while I get the food.” Still thoroughly confused, you walked over and sat down. He looked pleased as he walked away, picking up your empty plate and walking away toward the pot on the stove.
“I made spaghetti for you,” he said adoringly as he served your portion. “I’ve been told I’m a really good cook countless times. Oh! And I made garlic bread too, with cheese. I know you’re from America so I tried to make something you would like and probably haven’t eaten in a while.” He walked over to you and placed a plate of spaghetti and meatballs with a side of cheesy garlic bread in front of it. It gave you a sense of nostalgia, not to mention it smelled heavenly.
“You shouldn’t have done this,” you commented, watching him take his own plate.
“What? Why--Oh no you’re right. The garlic. But it’s okay! I have mints. Wait, You don’t like spaghetti, right?” he looked over at you worried. “Well you’ll like my spaghetti,” he said confidently. “Did I tell you that I’m a really good cook?” All that rambling. He was nervous, you thought.
“No, I do like spaghetti and I’m sure you’re an amazing cook,” you replied assuringly. He still seemed confused. You looked down and inhaled. “But all this...you know, this is something you do with someone special. I’m just a prostitute...and this is a...a…”
“A date,” he piped happily as he sat down in front of you. “Is that so wrong?” his eye twinkling as he grinned at you. But you weren’t budging on the subject.
“No but you shouldn’t be doing all this for me, I mean I’m charging you by the hour,” you protested. It seems that he wasn’t budging either.
“I know,” he said twirling the pasta on his plate. “So, I get to do whatever I want since I’m paying for it, right?” he said extending his neck at you.
“Well...y-yea,” you replied back at him, still feeling unsure of this situation. “But--”
“Ah! No buts!” he exclaimed, bringing the spaghetti up to his mouth and slurping it up. As he chewed, he made the most adorable sounds as he enjoyed his own food. You couldn’t help but laugh as he swallowed without chewing. “This is better than I expect. As usual, I outdid myself,” he praised, then motioned for you to try. “Please, let me know if it reminds you of home.” You eyed the plate, salivating at the sight.
“Uhm...do you have a spoon?” you asked timidly. He looked at you with confusion.
“Yes of course,” he said as he got up and fetched you one, the look of confusion still plastered on his face.
“I know it’s weird,” you said as you stuck your fork into the spaghetti, taking some onto your fork. Then you put it against the spoon and twirled it. “When I was in Italy as a kid visiting my grandma, she taught me how to eat spaghetti “properly” for lack of a better word. It’s really childish but I like doing it,” when the spaghetti was perfectly wrapped around the fork, you displayed it proudly. Jin was enthralled by your “invention”.
“Woooow! That’s so smart! Why haven’t I thought of that?” he exclaimed wide-eyed. You shrugged at him and popped the fork in your mouth. The minute you did, your taste buds went into a frenzy. Suddenly, you were back home eating the same spaghetti you used to eat at Filippo's restaurant and you were absolutely living for it.
“Oh my god,” you said with your mouthful.
“It’s good isn’t it?” Jin said proudly, admiring your reaction. You couldn’t believe it.
“Oh shit, this is crack!” Your New York accent seeped through your words. Jin laughed hysterically at your reaction.
“You’re exaggerating!” he laughed, that laughed that sounded like a window being scrubbed clean. It was so contagious and you loved it.
“No, but it is! Fuck, Jin!” you said while you were twirling your pasta in your spoon and taking another spoonful in your mouth.
“We can do that later!” Jin was clutching his stomach as he looked over at you. Calming down so he could speak to you properly. “I’m just glad you like it. Does it remind you of home?” You shook your head and smiled with your eyes. “Good,” he said taking another forkful to his mouth. “So, tell me more about yourself. What do you like to do when you’re not working, (Y/N)?” That was a really good question. You can’t remember the last time you did anything besides work. Even today when Coco was doing your nails, you were still picking up phone calls and making business plans with Maya. You looked at him almost blankly and then shrugged.
“I haven’t really done anything in such a long time. I guess I would say I love being around my friends, listening to music I guess...and playing video games. But we haven’t done that in such a long time,” Your voice trailed off. Jin noticed and he tried to diffuse the situation.
“Yeah, I can tell,” he said as soon as he swallowed another forkful, picking up his piece of garlic bread. “If I can just bring up Mario Kart—“
“Hey! I told you! You sabotaged me!” you exclaimed, point your fork at him. He just laughed and took a bite of his bread.
“That’s what sore losers say,” he commented as he poked your nose. You scrunched your nose as he did and glanced at his finger, admiring how imperfect they were. Every inch, every little thing was perfect to you.
“I know they’re ugly aren’t they?” He noted as he stretched his hands out to you so you could get a better looked. Smiling softly, you ran your own fingers along his, feeling all the curves in his bones before interlacing your fingers with his. A spark ignited between both of you and you couldn’t help but wonder if he felt it too.
“I think they’re cute, and it suits you… because you’re adorable,” you cooed. A sudden pink tint flushed his face at your words. To say the least, you were surprised. “Are you blushing? Is Mr. Worldwide Handsome blushing at a compliment? How unlike you, Seokjin.” You teased.
“Maybe I am!” He said defensively as he took a sip of water. “You’re not wrong, I am Worldwide Handsome,” He said winking at you. “But I also think that I’m allowed to blush when a pretty girl compliments me, no?”
You couldn’t help but feel the heat rising to your cheeks. You haven’t been called pretty in such a long time. It hit you suddenly. This really was a date. But why? You thought to yourself. Why was he doing this?
“Jin, you know you don’t have to do this,” the softness in your voice took Jin back. He shook his head at you, dropping his fork and placing his free hand over yours, letting it linger there for a second.
“Why not?” He asked again, this time mirroring the softness of your voice. “And don't say because you’re a prostitute because that doesn’t matter to me right now. Why can’t I have a date with a beautiful girl?” His words plucked the strings at your heart. You had no choice but, to be honest with him.
“Because...I don’t think you should be doing this for...well me,” you replied, wanting to melt at his touch. He looked at you with purity, his lips parting slightly as he sighed.
“If you’re trying to say you don’t deserve it, you’re wrong,” he stated simply. He leaned in closer and brought your hand closer to him. “You deserve to be reminded by someone other than yourself that you’re worth so much. Such a smart gorgeous girl like yourself should go on dates often. Real dates.” He brought your hand up to his mouth and kissed it softly making your heart rate speed up. “And so should I. So I will,” he continued, letting you go and picking up his fork again. “Even if I have to pay for it.” His words stunned you a bit. Granted, you were used to men complimenting you…when you are under them anyway.
“I suppose you’re right,” you agreed as you stuffed more pasta in your mouth.
“I suppose I am,” he replied finishing the last of his bread. You just giggled as he made his eating groans again.
“The other members are quiet. What did you do to them?” You joked. He just shrugged.
“You’re not the only one I had to pay today,” he said as he slurped up the rest of his pasta. “I gave them some money so they could go out and eat.”
“Aw, why did you do that? I was hoping to chat with Jimin more. He’s so adorable,” Jin frowned at your comment.
“More than me?” He pouted at you. God, you wanted to just drown him in kisses and you hated it.
“Never!” Your voice raising a bit. “Jimin is adorable in an...innocent way. Like a baby. You on the other hand,” you said twirling the last of your pasta. “You’re adorable in the sense where I just want to drown you in kisses,” you said puckering your lips at him. Beating yourself up internally for saying what you were thinking.
“That’s better,” he hummed, pretending to catch your kiss. “I’m saving this for later.”
“Well…” you purred as you placed your hand on top of his. “There’s more where that came from, babe.” He looked like he had shuddered at your advances and you loved it.
“The food was amazing, by the way,” you said trying to change the subject. “Thank you so much. I really hope you didn’t go through too much trouble.”
“Ahhh, no trouble is trouble when it’s for you… I wanted it to be romantic. I was looking up things on the internet and it dawned on me...Lady and The Tramp...too bad we didn’t reenact that spaghetti kiss scene.” He cocked his head and trailed off. He was rambling again. When was the last time he went on a date? Either way, it didn’t matter. You didn’t think you deserved to be there regardless. A girl like you, with a guy like Jin. If he only knew who you really were.
“Let me get these plates clean before we move on to dessert,” he said softly. You put your hands up in protest as he gathered the plates.
“Jin, sweetie, let me do the dishes! As a thank you,” you offered, trying to get everything together for him. He snatched the utensils out of your hand before you could finish.
“Absolutely not, I’ll be the only one doing dishes,” he said proudly. “I don’t want you to ruin your freshly painted nails. Pink certainly is a color that suits you, (Y/N).” Of course, you had gotten that color for him but you didn’t think he would actually notice. Internally you were smiling from ear to ear. But externally, you were sticking to your guns.
“Please, Jin? I would feel terrible if you don’t let me. You went through all this trouble...let me at least—“
“You want to help me out that bad?” He questioned as he turned to you. You nodded and pleaded with him. “Come here.” Starting for the sink, you tried to grab the sponge from him but he held it high, far from your reach.
“Hey, you said I could help,” you whined as you tried reaching for it. He laughed at your attempt while shaking his head.
“I did say that didn’t I?” He pondered as he turned around and turned the sink on. “Put your arms around me.”
“Wait, why? How is that helping?” At this point, he was just making things difficult.
“It helps me concentrate. So what are you waiting for?” His eyes peered over his shoulder, motioning you with a tilt of his head to fulfill his request. “Hold me.”
Realizing that he wasn’t going to let you help him the way you wanted to, you sighed and abided by his strange request. He lifted his elbows so you could snake around his waist, resting your head underneath the lime green Balenciaga lettering that ran across his shoulders.
“Ah, I can work much more efficiently. Thank you (Y/N),” he stayed with relief, even though he was just messing with you. Letting out a small “hmph”, he peered over his shoulder again. “Are you uncomfortable?” You thought about your answer before it spilled out. You were uncomfortable. All this treatment, his odd requests. The thought couldn’t escape your mind. He was treating you like….like a girlfriend.
“Not at all,” You lied. At this point, you were thinking about the dollar signs going into your account the next day. Even though holding him close like this gave you a sense of serenity you had not felt before.
“Good,” He stated simply, continuing to lather the plates in the sink. You closed your eyes and just held him tighter to you. This feeling, is this what it felt like to be in a normal healthy relationship? You tried to think back to a time where you did something as simple as this with Chanyeol but you were drawing a blank. As Jin kept washing, he started humming a tune. You could feel his back vibrating against your cheek as he continued. It was a moment in time you wanted to stop. A moment in your life where you felt like there was nothing in the world except you, Jin and the dirty dishes.
“All done,” he called out, breaking you out of your trance. Nothing inside you wanted to let Jin go but reluctantly you did and let him dry his hands off.
“I still don’t see how me hugging you helped you wash the dishes,” you pointed out. He put his hand on your cheek, those adoring eyes were back to kill you again.
“It motivated me to do a better job because I knew you were watching.” The sweetness in his tone kicking you while you were down. “Now,” he clasped his hands together. “I want to introduce you to my two very best friends, (Y/N).” His two best friends? Why didn’t they just join us for dinner? You thought to yourself. Almost reading your mind, he grabbed your wrist and dragged you into the hallway.
“They don’t really eat pasta so they couldn’t join us,” he laughed to himself.
“Well, what do they eat then? Korean food?” You were completely lost.
“No,” he said flatly. You both were walking down the long familiar corridor, heading toward the double doors at the end of the hallway. “They eat yogurt, fruits…” his voice trailed off as you both reached the double doors. He glanced over at your confused face and kissed your cheek. “I know they’ll love you don’t worry.” Worry? About what? I don’t even know what’s going on!
As you walked in, you were in awe of how big the room was. You scanned everything with your eyes. There was a massive curtain in front of you which was almost the main focus but you couldn’t help but notice all the dog toys scattered on the hardwood floor. The space was big enough for a few dogs to say the least. Your eyes darted toward the curtain again. In front of the curtain, the floor dipped down into a carpeted sitting area with a large sectional couch, 3 recliners, a coffee table and a regular square table. Adorned on the walls were posters, platinum plaques, awards, pictures, and anything BTS related was proudly displayed.
“You like it?” he asked, walking away from you toward the curtain. You just nodded and watched him, following behind slowly.
“Very impressive, Seokjin. You boys really are something,” he beamed at your compliment. You continued to trail behind him as he walked toward a protuberance on the right side of the curtain as if something was behind him. You studied him as he sat down on the carpeted floor.
“(Y/N),” he said pushing the curtain back, revealing a white cage with pink and blue bedding and two sugar gliders just roaming about inside. “Meet Eomuk and Odengie! My two best friends in the world!” he said as he opened the cage. They were just about the cutest things you had ever seen. You knelt down next to Jin and watched him take one of the sugar gliders out of the cage.
“I’m living right now. They are adorable! I’ve never seen sugar gliders before,” you leaned in closer to get a better look. “Which one is which?”
“This one is Eomuk. He cries the most as you can see,” he said as the small creature let out a noise. Jin pet him softly trying to soothe him. You watched him intently but then your eyes traveled back to the curtain. Curiosity was killing you.
“What’s behind the curtain?” Jin looked at you as he closed the door of the cage.
“I’m glad you asked,” he got up and walked farther to the right. On the wall, was a button that he pushed. Suddenly, the curtains peeled back and as they exposed what was behind them. Your jaw dropped slightly. The wall wasn’t a wall at all. Instead, it was made of glass revealing the city below you. It was a sight you had only seen in movies and paintings. The only thing you could do was step back, just so you could take all of it in. You observed the lights and the inky night sky that loomed over it. You could see the tiny red and yellow dots that were cars zooming by. Only now did you realize how high up you were. You stopped suddenly as you felt the table hit your backside.
“Wow, you guys live pretty fucking lavishly. It’s gorgeous,” you said in awe. Jin smiled and started to step toward you. Your hands started to clam up as he stopped only mere inches away from you. His waist pressed up against yours which sent you into a frenzy. You felt him take your hand in his, his free hand cupped your cheek.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked modestly. Out of all the strange things he had asked you tonight, this was by far the strangest. Since when did anyone ask to kiss you if you were on their dime? You tried piecing the puzzle together but you couldn’t find the proper response.
“You never have to ask,” you replied, as he inched closer. “Especially under the circumstances…” you continued. Suddenly he stopped and inched back. No, come back, you thought. Before you knew it, you felt his warm long hands cup your face. His eyes were piercing through yours as he looked at you so deeply.
“Don’t say that,” he exhaled, leaning his forehead against yours. “Just because I’m paying for this, doesn’t mean I’m not going to respect you,” his thumb ran across your bottom lip. “You don’t belong to anyone.”
Who do you belong to?
Chanyeol’s deep voice echoed in your head. Not now, you thought. You didn’t wanna think about him while Jin had you in his grasp. But you couldn’t help it. He infected your mind because he was the only one who had touched you in a year.  But even Chanyeol didn’t touch you like this. Falling into his glistening eyes, you just slightly curled the corner of your lips.
“Kiss me Jin,” you whispered. Again, he let himself fall into you, your lips finally meeting in what seemed like an embrace. The fullness of his lips overtook yours, they blanketed over yours trying to cover every inch of you. His hands traveled from your cheeks down to the small of your waist, pulling himself closer to you. He ran his tongue along your bottom lip, begging for entrance. Your lips parted slowly and you felt him invade your mouth. Your tongues snake around each other, dancing together with grace. There was so much passion, so much stillness. Your hands snaked up his torso, resting on his chest. His kisses were like the first autumn leaf. The movements against your lips felt airy and effortless. Every time your lips collided it was a leaf falling and you watched to catch every single one.
There was a feeling in your chest that you couldn’t shake off. Your heart swelled as the kiss got deeper and deeper. Never had you been kissed like that. You had grown accustomed to fast, hungry and animalistic desires, fighting for dominance, teeth clashing, lip tugging. The whole works. With Jin it was different. You got drunk off his affection, high off the fervency you felt with him.
Patience was growing thin so you reached down, migrating toward his crotch. All you wanted was him and his cock to fiercely pump inside you. The fabric was thin and you could feel every detail, causing you to feel the fire ignite between your legs. Suddenly, he stopped and grabbed your hand. He brought you hand up to his face as he pulled away from your lips.
  “Not yet,” he breathed into your wrist as he planted a kiss on it softly, your whole body quaking at his touch.
“Why not?” you whispered breathlessly as you watched him trail kisses along your arm. Goosebumps started to creep up and when he noticed, Jin ran his hand up and down your arm. His lips curled up into a smile as he continued to your other arm. You couldn’t take it anymore. You wrapped your legs around him tightly, scooting your bottom to the end of the table to press your body against him, your faces inches away again.
“I can make you feel good, Jin,” you purred as you ran your tongue along his bottom lip. His shaky breath tickled your lips. He brought his hand up again, grabbing your chin with his pointer finger and thumb, running it along your skin as he smirked.
“I know, Jagiya,” he kissed you deeply. “But I can make you feel better.”
Oh shit
“Take this off, please…and do it slowly,” he tugged at your dressed while taking a step back. “I want to admire your whole body.” You didn’t dare say no to his request. Gingerly grabbing the hem of your dress, you pulled it over yourself with haste, leaving you with just your bra and panties. Jin’s eyes never left you, he bit his lip and studied you like you were a masterpiece. He stepped closer to you again and you took him into your arms immediately. Jin started for your neck, planting kissed as light as a breeze dancing across your skin. He kissed you everywhere you could possibly think of. It was like a stream of sunlight warming your skin as he kissed your cheeks covering every inch of your face. He moved back to your neck traveling down to your chest, grabbing at your breasts as he made his way from one side of your chest to the other. You let your head hang back as you let him adore you. He rubbed your breasts in circular motions as he started to crouch continuing to kiss you on your stomach now. His kisses started to become deeper as you felt him slightly suck at the skin on your sides. You placed your hands on his shoulders. All your senses on overload. He resumed traveling lower until he was kneeling on the floor and his face was buried in between your legs.
You looked down at him, admiring the sight and feel of him. He never stopped kissing you. His lips made their way from your outer thigh, down your knee then traveling to your inner thigh, making you jump at his touch. When he noticed, he grabbed onto your bottom tightly, trying to keep you balanced. As he got closer to your womanhood, he switched thighs, starting at your outer thigh. JIn loved to tease you. But then you thought about it and really thought about it in his perspective. He wasn’t teasing you, he was adoring you. Savoring every inch of you, craving the flavor of your skin on his lips even after he already had a taste like an addict. All you could do is sit there on the table and let him ravish you. Suddenly, you felt a tug on the fabric of your panties, he looked up at you as he pulled them down, never taking his eyes off you while he pulled them down, past your knees, throwing them to the side as he peeled them off your ankles. He put a hand on your stomach, pushing you back slightly so he could get a better angle of your essence. You leaned back, propping yourself up with your arms. He gave you one last final gaze, his eyes were clouded with lust and anticipation.
It was like it happened in slow motion. He dove into you, closing the space between his lips and your womanhood. His tongue tracing the line where your labias met. You inhaled sharply as your felt yourself shiver underneath him. He moved his hand from your thigh and moved it to your entrance, parting your lips leaving you exposed. The way his plush lips felt against your clit, sucking it softly had you twitching. As he took your clit into his mouth, his tongue flicked against it repeatedly.
“Oh, my god, Jin,” you moaned. You looked down and watched him starting to bob his head at the junction of your legs. His mouth alternating from sucking softly as your clit to lapping away at your entrance. Your hand started to rake through his hair as he slurped all your juices. His tongue was working slowly against you. He kissed at your entrance softly while looking up at you, engrossed in the faces of pleasure you were making. His tongue poked at your slit as if he knocking for entrance, your hips bucked forward, completely burying his face in between your legs. His face disappeared in you but you left him, slurping al the wetness that seeped out of you, sticking his tongue into your slit and out while he let his two finger move against your clit slowly.
You were melting in his mouth, at his mere touch. His tongue was swirling inside you, feeling your inner walls. He moaned into your skin, the vibrations causing you to fall back on your elbows. You couldn’t stop staring at him. Watching him work at your box was almost as amazing as the way it felt. Every so often, he’d bob his head a little higher than before granting you a sight that sent you into a frenzy. Your juices had fully coated the lower part of his face, his nose, lips, and chin. Suddenly, you felt pressure at your entrance. He had inserted a finger into you as he continued to tongue fuck you, his fingertips never leaving your clit.
A loud moan escaped your lips and your legs wouldn’t stop shaking. You could feel yourself reaching your climax as he repeatedly hit your spot. He removed his fingers from your clit, taking it in his mouth as he sucked and slurped at it hungrily. His two fingers joined the one that was already in you and you shot back up, running your fingers through his hair. He looked up at you and you locked eyes. He watched your face contort, loving every minute. He licked your clit steadily as he felt your walls tighten around his fingers.
“I’m coming, Jin,” you warned, not wanting him to get your cum all over his face. He stopped suddenly and smiled up at you deviously. That was it for you. You orgasm rippled throughout your whole body.  He quickly pulled his fingers out and started lapping against your hole, catching all of your liquid thirstily. Your eyes widened at him as he pulled away and rubbed at your clit again, letting the rest of your cum squirt out on his hand., not only were you coming all over the table but his arms and chin were dripping down to the carpet. Down his neck and arm.
Your body was weak and your arms couldn't hold you up anymore. You laid back and sprawled out on the table. Before you knew it, you heard the sound of his belt unbuckle. With the smallest ounce of energy you had left in your body, you propped yourself at the noise. Part of you knew what you had to do while the other one couldn’t even move without feeling you were gonna collapse. Still, he gave you the most amazing head you had ever gotten so you knew you had to return the favor.
“My turn,” you purred at him, reaching behind your back to unfasten your bra. He wiped his chin and stood up, towering over you and shook his head.
“No,” he said simply. “I don’t want you to, baby.” You cocked your head in confusion as you threw your bra to the side. He couldn’t keep his eyes off your breasts and how the bounced slightly at every movement you man.
“You don’t like it?” you asked. His pants fell to his ankle and he started to unbutton his shirt.
“I do like it. I love it,” he slid his light blue shirt off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. He opened your legs once more and positioned himself in between them. Then he pushed you down softly so you were laying on the table again. “But I just want to be inside you.”
You shuddered at his words.You wrapped your legs around him as you felt his cock against your soaked kitty. He grabbed his member and placed it on your entrance, just letting the tip in.
“Don’t play games with me,” you whined as he hovered over you. His arms on either side of your head as he leaned them on the table for support. He inched closer to your face and admired you, ignoring your comment. His lips were parted and he licked them quickly.
“You’re going to look so beautiful in a second,” he whispered as he closed the space between you, kissing you softly, the taste of your elixir still stained his lips. When he pulled away, he was still for a second. But only a second. He jerked his hips forward, his cock invading your insides in the most intoxicating way. Your arms shot up to his elbows. Even though you were laying on the table, you still felt like you were going to fall into an abyss of pleasure and euphoria, not being able to come back. His thrusts mirrored exactly who he was. He pumped into you with the rhythm of a romantic ballad. You felt every single inch of him inside you, your walls suctioning him to you.
“You’re...you’re so fucking, perfect, (Y/N),” he groaned as he rolled into you. “I want to be in your forever.” Now there was a lot of things you heard while you were getting fucked but this wasn’t one of them. Your body bounced to his thrusts and you couldn’t stop trembling under him.
“Fuck me forever then, Jin,” you moaned as he looked at you, studying your whole body. “I’m yours.” He bit his lip and picked up his pace slightly. Every stroke sending you into a blood buzzing ecstasy, you were drowning in him.
His thrusts became erratic and sloppy. You could tell he was trying his hardest not to come, but you wanted to violate his silent protest. Constantly hitting your spot, your walls tightened around him. He threw his head back at the feeling.
“Jagi, you want me to come don’t you?” he said shakily, he leaned in and put his hand on your cheek. You bit your lip and nodded at him. “Be...be mine forever then…” he husked. You could see his body starting to shake, you knew that he was about to bust. You flexed your muscles around his cock as tightly as you could and brought yourself to his lips, letting them meet in a smoldering kiss that sent you both over the edge. He moaned into your mouth and he released inside you. You whimpered in retaliation, coming all over him and the table.
His body doubled over and almost crashed on top of you. Instead, he threw your legs around him and wrapped arms around you, picking you up from the table and carrying you effortlessly.
“Jin what are you doing?” you whined. “I cant move!” He hushed you and kissed your cheek as he walked over to the couch and plopped down on it, you laying on his front side.
“You have to learn how to stop questioning me because I know best, baby girl,” he said, placing a hand on your back. Your head was laid on his chest, you listened to his rapid heartbeat and sighed.
“Whatever you say, Jin,” you chuckled. “No really whatever you say goes if that’s how you’re going to be fucking me.” He held you against him, running his hands up and down your back.
“Well, I did say forever didn’t I?” he kissed your forehead and leaned his head up against you. You sighed and made circles on his chest with your finger.
“You did say that...but you could say anything when you’re in the throws of passion,” you pointed out. Unsure of why you would say something stupid like that. He just tisked at you.
“You don’t have to believe me, (Y/N),” he said confidently as he tried to bring you up close to his face. “I’m just going to have to prove it to you. And I will,” he kissed your forehead again. “You watch.” Your stomach was in knots. What had you done? Reality started to sink back in. This idea of forever, of being part of a perfect and beautiful story with Jin. That was all unobtainable. A normal life, you thought, was not made for you. You wanted to melt in his arms and believe those words. But you couldn’t allow this to happen to him. You couldn’t allow this to happen to you. Your body tensed in his embrace.
“(Y/N)? Are you alright?” he asked with the most gentle voice. You swallowed back this feeling. It was a feeling you never allow yourself to feel. The walls started closing in on you and you knew what you had to do.
I need to get out of here.
“I’m sorry, Jin,” you said picking yourself up and looking at him with regret. “I have to leave.” His face dropped and he propped himself up as you jumped off him, heading toward your bra and panties.
“No, (Y/N), stay for a while longer,” he begged, grabbing his pants from the floor and slipping them on. “Please?”
“I can’t Jin...I have to--” you started to choke on your words. This was not the time to start crying. Fuck no. “I have to get home and make sure the girls and guys are doing okay...you know...making revenue of the night.” You pulled your dress over your head and fixed your hair. He just walked up to you and put his hands on your waist.
“It was something I said, wasn’t it? Aish, what is it? Tell me...just don’t cry--”
“I’m sorry, Jin. I hope you call me sometime soon. I had an amazing time, but I do have to go,” your voice was trembling as you leaned in and kissed him passionately.
“(Y/N)...” he called out to you as you walked away from him and out of the room. You didn’t want to look back. You’re such a fucking idiot, you thought to yourself as you walked down the corridor toward the front door. The tears were pooling at the edges of your eyes, threatening to fall at any second. Until…
“(Y/N)! I’m sorry, I just came in to get something. I know you and Jin are--”
“It’s okay, Yoongi. I was just leaving. Have a goodnight excuse me,” you said trying to snake passed him.
“Oh wait up (Y/N) because I was wondering what Maya’s number was since I lost it--hey are you okay?” he suddenly stopped and looked at you with concern.
“No...I mean, yes I’m okay,” You said shakily as you dug in your purse looking for Maya’s business card and handing it to him. “Here, call her soon. I have to go. It was nice seeing you again,” and with that, you ran out of the door without looking back. You needed to get as far away from here as possible, you thought as you ran for the elevator.
Once making it outside, you just ran. Emotion taking over you, everything hitting you at once. What did I do? You kept asking yourself.
This is what you had done.
You tried to dabble in something different which like a leap across mountains to you. Change isn’t something you did well. Scared of losing it all. Scared of taking on too much. Scared of being scared. You don’t know what possessed you to stay in bed with Jin that night. You could have ran. You could have just gone into the right room, taken that L, fucked Yoongi, lived with the embarrassment and gotten over it by now. But something inside told you to just try it. Taste the forbidden fruit.
Jin was the type of lover that admired you. The type that saw you as a goddess, everything you did was with purpose and he never doubted you for anything. In the short time that you had spent with him, you learned that there was someone out there that still saw you as (Y/N) and wanted to continue to explore the space of your mind. In such a short time, you let him fall into your galaxy and instead of taking what he could from the experience and ran, he revered at your imperfections like stars. When you were together, you felt like your planets crashed into each other. Everything you thought you knew about your little galaxy, that sacred nebula you created for yourself, was gone. Jin was like your rebirth. He was what remained after that eruption. You were completely undone. Like raw matter in his hands, he studied and admired you giving you a  new sense of purpose and identity. You didn’t have to be the  CEO of Starlight Catering or the Princess of the (Y/LN) family. You could just be (Y/N).
But with Chanyeol, it was different. He was your protector and he saw you as his precious galactic familiar. He lived perfectly in your universe. He had grown accustomed to the imperfection in your stars. He didn’t fall into you though. He flew. He wanted to go every undiscovered territory in your cosmos just to say he had been there. To remind himself and you that he was always going to be there and nothing was ever going to eliminate your sacred nebula because he was your guardian. The planets aligned when you were together. Fate acting like two magnetic forces pulling you to each other with impetus. The passion in his convictions and your yearning to feel alive again created a power between you so strong it disturbed the other worlds around it. He changed your life for the best...and for the worst in some ways. An old part of you died when you met him, she was weak and unfit to be anyone in power. You were a dying star but Chanyeol ignited that supernova. Ever since then, different and much more beautiful stars were born. He created a new constellation that burned brighter than the last and vowed to keep it as radiant as the day he created it, by any means necessary.
Suddenly, your phone rang. You wanted to keep running, powering through all the tears that streamed down your face but when you saw the name Sehun on your screen, you decided to pick up just for Damon’s sake.
“Starlight Catering, This is (Y/N),” you said as sternly as you can.
“Hey (Y/N), uh...I was wondering if you were home because Damon was supposed to be here 20 minutes ago and he’s not here yet,” the maknae said nervously. You just continued wiping the tears from your face, using all your energy to compose yourself.
“Um, No I’m sorry Sehunnie but…” you choked. “I’m not home. He’s probably running late again. You know how he is?” you tried to laugh a bit but you were suppressing so much that it sounded like a whimper. Sehun thankfully didn’t notice.
“Yea, I know. I just...I’m excited I guess. It’s been 11 months already and next month is going to be a year and I didn’t think I would even last this long with a girl...wait...why am I telling you this? I’m so sorry, there’s just a lot going through my head,” he confessed. You tried to smile a bit because honestly, this was the most adorable thing anyone ever had to say about your best friend.
“It’s okay, I understand. A whole year is a long time to be intimate with someone,” you sniffed. “Do you have something special and kinky planned? Maybe we can talk a discount for being so loyal to us,” shakiness not leaving your voice.
“I didn’t even think about that, shit. Now I have to plan all these things...hey (Y/N), I don’t mean to be rude but are you okay...I know it sounds silly but you sound like you’re crying.”
Fuck, you thought. What’s your fucking problem? You were letting down your guard and that wasn’t acceptable.
“Y-yea, I’m fine,” you tried assuring him. “Just um, if I hear from Damon I’ll let him know you’re waiting. I’m sorry about that. But I have to go, let me know if you need my help planning anything, okay?”
“O--ok. But whatever it is, I think you should call Chanyeol,” Sehun’s voice was coated with worry. He never really tried to get out of line with you but he knew something was up.
“Everything is fine, Sehun. Enjoy your night,” you said into the phone before hanging up. You stood there in the middle of a residential area without any destination previous. You just needed to get away. Turning your phone back on, you put your location on Uber and waited for your ride.
x-x-x
“Hello?!” you cried out as you walked into your apartment. The only response you received was your own echo. You stormed your way into the kitchen and dropped your purse on the marble island.
Wine, you thought to yourself desperately. You reached over to the fridge and stopped yourself as you touched the stainless steel handle.
No.
A substitution doesn’t make it any better. What you really wanted to do was take a bump and just go out and work. But that was the old you. The old you drowned her problems in buffers. You couldn’t run away anymore. Accepting what you needed to do, you slinked down to the floor and sobbed.
You never allowed yourself to feel. Everything was business all the time. The faster time passed, the less you had to think. It wasn’t just meeting Jin that fucked you up. It was the pressures of this business, parts of your past, things you had seen and things you had done. It was creeping up on you. This was a long time coming. You laid your head back on the island, just melting into the floor.
Stop.
You were tired. You just wanted to stop. There is no point in this, you thought. Get up and get your life together. But your legs were paralyzed.
There was a pounding on the door. Your head snapped toward the sound and you were frozen. There was a pause, causing you to lean forward. There was another bang. Your native instincts kicked in.
The tears stopped abruptly and you were clutching to your purse. You didn’t carry heat on you anymore, you felt like guns were beneath you now. But a knife is always necessary and you've won many fights in your days. Even when your opponent was a hollow barrel. You snaked your way up and walked closer out the kitchen and toward the front door, hearing another series of banging against your door, getting more aggressive than before.
“(Y/N)...It’s Chanyeol,” His voice stopped you in your tracks causing you to drop the knife. It echoed throughout the hallway. “Please...let me in.”
A/N ;; Thank you so much for reading! Next chapter is GOOD and chapter 5 is EVEN BETTER AHHHHH okay let me stop. Chapter 4 will be up in a few days <3 Leave your thoughts and message me! I want to know who my readers are lol :*
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officialmaleclibrary · 7 years ago
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This month we’re showcasing an author in the fandom who has written popular works such as Written in the Stars and hold on to me (cause i’m a little unsteady). Ceci is on ao3 as ceciwrites and on tumblr as @daddariossmile, and we’d like to thank her once again for taking part in the OML author showcase! 
1. When did you start writing fics? Tell us a little of your journey as a fic writer. 
I dabbled a little in fic writing when I was about 14 (in 2009), I think? But it never came to more than a few pages and I never finished or shared any of it. So I’ve always had a lot of ideas for the various fandoms I’ve been in, but it wasn’t until I started interacting with other fans in the Shadowhunters fandom last autumn that I really started writing.
2. What fic of yours are you most proud of and why?
I’d say it’s a tie between keeping you with me and Merry Christmas, Doctor Lightwood. The first because it felt like something important and real, something I had to get out there after episode 2x12, and the latter because it’s my first longer fic and I’m still very happy with how it turned out.
3. Who is your favorite character to write and why? Which character do you find the most challenging to write? 
I’d say that Alec is probably my favourite to write. I see a lot of myself in him, and I love working out the different details about him and the reasons behind his actions in different scenarios and in different parts of his life. I think Magnus is the most challenging. He’s a very complex character, and no matter how well you think you know him, how can you ever 100% put yourself in the place of someone who’s lived for such a long time? Even in AUs, I feel like it’s hard to capture, and it’s something I spend a lot of time thinking about when I write.
4. What is the hardest part about being a fic author? The easiest?
The easiest part is definitely getting the ideas, sometimes a little too easy, especially when you get 10 new ideas in the time it takes to write a fic. The hardest part, I think, is to not be too discouraged by lack of comments or notes on your fic, or the occasional ‘more please’, when you have put a lot of thought and time into making it just right.
5. What inspires you? Where do you find your muse?
Anything and everything. Movies, books, other fics, tumblr posts, songs, especially songs. I draw a lot of inspiration from real life as well. Literally any situation I find myself in (often boring family events, or other kinds of gatherings) makes me go ‘how could I turn this situation into some cute fic?’
6. How do you power through writer’s block?
Either I try to write some headcanons instead, something a bit messier and often incoherent, or I’ll talk about fic ideas with other people. If none of that gets me going then I try and release my creativity elsewhere, often by making moodboards.
7. Do you have a favorite fic from another author?
I have a lot of favourites; one shots, multi-chaps, series. Some of them I come back to again and again, mostly the happier ones, some of them I’ve only read once, but they have all left an impression. One fic series in particular is and and my heart is set on you by ohprongs, which left me speechless and very melancholic, and is fic that I still think about frequently, even though it’s been almost 3 months since I read it. And just because I can, I’m going to add a second one, which is Some Kind Of Wonderful by magnusragnor - a happy, fun, summerly, and exciting fic that leaves you in a wonderful mood.
8. What’s something you’re looking forward to in the upcoming season of Shadowhunters?
Well, since it doesn’t seem like we’re gonna get a lot of happiness and fluff in the last two episodes, I’m really looking forward to the action. I can’t wait to see everyone kicking ass! Oh, and we’re finally going to meet Catarina, which I’m super excited about!!!
9. Can you give us a sneak peek to what you’re writing next? Or at least any hints to what’s to come?
I’m currently working on a few secret things, including my gift for the SH Summer Gift Exchange. Then in a few weeks, when the hiatus starts and SHAUMondays are back, I’m definitely gonna write something for that as well. More specifically, there’s should be some cooking, some bookshop, and a little sequel for my HP AU on the way.
10. Do you have advice for anyone who might be interested in writing fan fiction?
Do it. If you have ideas, if you think it’ll be fun, do it. It might be a bit daunting at first, especially if you haven’t written before, and you see all these people who have been writing for half of their lives, but for me it has really been worth it. Try not to compare your writing to other people’s too much, but use it as a way of finding your own style and what works for you. I find that talking to other people about ideas or fics you are in the middle of writing, it can both be motivation and a good way to collect your thought about what you want to do into something coherent that you can put down on paper. And don’t be afraid to ask questions! I’m sure most fic writers are more than happy to answer any question you might have, if you ask nicely.
11. What are your top three favorite quotes? 
“It may very well be that tomorrow will bring nothing new. But someday soon, tomorrow will change your life.” - Unknown “Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.” - Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows “What are men to rocks and mountains?” - Elizabeth Bennett, Pride & Prejudice
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ajwmagickl · 8 years ago
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2016 Fic Writing Review
Tagged by @canoncannon.  I lost my first draft of this but I’m trying again! Thanks for the tag. 
1. List of works published this year: By word count… The First Night. My second fanfic, and the first time I’ve ever written smut.  It took two counseling sessions, but by golly, I got it out there!
Brothers.  My first fanfic ever in my whole long life.  I was terrified but found out that the Desus community on AO3 is kind and supportive.
A Bedtime Story. This is an out of place little story that didn’t get many hits, but I love it  all the same.  I got the idea from @canoncannon, who promised a fluffy bunny story where everyone lives happily ever after, and I TOOK THAT TOO SERIOUSLY.
The Second Christmas. This was for DWG Holiday Bingo.  I can’t think of little bitty boy Daryl without just wanting to hold him in my lap and cuddle him and tell him everything’s gonna be okay.
Between the Lines. A collection of short ficlets, most drabbles pulled from longer fics because they didn’t fit for one reason or another, but I like them enough to share them.
The Quilt. SO fun to write.  One of my favorites, because Jesus is always so controlled.  I like to knock him for a loop once in awhile.
Candy Cane. Another bingo prompt, another fun one to write!  It was supposed to be longer but I didn’t have time to finish it, so I just stuck a fork in it and called it done.  But it wasn’t done.  Eep.
The Ritual.  A short, dark fic that also had a wonky ending.  It was part of another fic and ended up trying to stand alone.  It might’ve been too ambitious.
2. Work you are most proud of (and why): I worked hard with the characterizations on Brothers, and I’m pleased with how that turned out.  It was just the right amount of fluff and brotherly love.  I’m also pretty darn proud of The Quilt because it was so much fun and made people laugh.  And even though it didn’t get a lot of hits, A Bedtime Story is one of my favorites because it’s so odd.  
3. Work you are least proud of (and why)? The Ritual, because it’s unfinished and I feel like there could’ve been so much more there.  And The First Night, because I felt like the writing was inconsistent and the flow stunted in places. That fic and The Second Christmas both have places I rushed through and should’ve revisited.
4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:B
From Chapter 2 of Between the Lines, Jesus is contemplating the complexities of all that is Daryl Dixon:  “No, this man was all heart, muscle, bone, and raw emotion; untamed, with a piercing intellect, an instinctual courage, and an uncanny resourcefulness. The confusing part, Paul mused, was that the hunter seemed to have no self-awareness of his attributes, but instead carried the weight of his faults like a yoke.”   Someone actually pointed this paragraph out in a comment and it made my day.
5. Share or describe a favorite review you received: NO DOUBT, that’s when I gifted A Bedtime Story to CanonCannon and she (she? he? sh/he?) and she listed her favorite parts.  And it was such a strange little fic, but I felt UNDERSTOOD. :)
6. Share a time when writing was really, really hard: 
It always feels really, really hard.  I fight fear every time.  I write and post even when I think it’s all garbage and I wish I were a better writer.
7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: I think it was writing The Quilt, because it was pretty effortless writing which is a miracle, and it required very little editing.  Plus, I’ve never written or even thought much about fetishes, and I didn’t really expect to have Jesus be the off-kilter one in this story, but it was fun.  
8. How did you grow as a writer this year: I took the plunge and started writing and posting, and I learned that having a crappy fic or two out there doesn’t matter.  The courage does.
9. How do you hope to grow next year: I feel like I’m still trying to find ‘my voice’.  I can write most honestly in humor, but man I try to write serious stuff it’s like walking across a slimy riverbed - I slip up very easily and feel like I’m always trying to right myself.  Also, I have some multi-chapter fics I’ve been working on that I want to post.  But I need to get to a certain point with them before I put them out there.  I don’t trust myself to finish if I don’t have an endgame in mind.
10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): SO MANY… some of the Rickyl writers are amazing (Katietheinspiredworkaholic, TWDObsessive) and the Desus writers Mugatu, Waredness, Sherstrader, and of course CanonCannon (can I just stop mentioning you now, I’m getting embarrassed), cougarlips and oxeyegen (I know I’m forgetting some) really impressed, influenced and encouraged me.  I went back to the earlier fictions of some of my favorite writers and found out that they got better and better the more they wrote, and that really helped me out.
11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:
You mean besides my total and complete life obsession with The Walking Dead and Desus?  Yeah, but it came up in a counseling session so shhhh....
12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: Even if you have no idea what you’re doing, do it anyway.  That’s all I got.  
13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I have two multi-chapter fics that still need fleshing out before I post them but I’m really excited about both of them!
14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. Well, since I have one follower and they tagged me, I’ll just leave it here.
#desus
#darus
#daryl x jesus
#fanfic
#writing
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