#he’s like my ideal man idek

[duckyfann9871]

Drunk me concurs: i am in fact in love with Ginoza and would move mountains for him

[benetnvsch]

one thing abt me is I am a complete fraud and do not have the attention span to actual consume Any Content Ever so then I am left with major ?? HUHH ?? moments when tryna write </3

[wonton4rang]

Omg i have been binge reading all of your bnd imagines, and i was wondering if you could rate whose MTL to date a foreigner in bnd. Love you writing style, btw🫶🏽

omg hi hi :') tysm!! my pleasure 💜💜💜 thank you for giving me the chance 🫶💖

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pairing: bnd x reader.

warnings: none? mentions of smut. (legal members only)

summary: bnd mtl (most to least) likely to date a foreign.

note: sorry for the delay!! i've been really busy at work :(

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sungho; personally i feel like he would stay close to home so most likely korean or japanese, the last one is a foreign tho so yeah. i feel it would be mostly because of the language barrier and the distance. but i do see him falling for a foreign and then being so frustrated that he would go days without even laughing or talking more than the necessary because he's too busy thinking how tf is he going to get you if he doesn't speak your language and lives on the other side of the world :(

riwoo; sorry. i'm so sorry. the only way this man would fall for a foreign is if they are dance partners or have to work together on something and he feels WAY TOO attracted to you, like he would be drooling for you and would even start learning your language just so he could rizz you up properly :') but i feel he would go for koreans tho.

jaehyun; he makes me confused. i feel like he loves his asian girlies but he's also so open to anything and i've seen him openly checking out foreign fans on a crowd so i think he would just need to fall for you and most likely wouldn't mind if you are a foreign or not. he just has to like you and he'll work it out. plus, he's a high libido boy for me so bet he would be drawn to curves and big ass and boobs so that plays a role too.

taesan; i feel like he has a very specific type but at the same he doesn't. he honestly gives me some "if i like you, that's enough" vibes but also "you're 9/10 my type, which i don't know what it is yet, but it's not enough so i ain't fucking w u", and idek how that makes sense but basically i feel like he won't be paying enough attention to looks but more into personality so as long as you guys speak the same language (not just literally korean, also ideals) he's down for it.

leehan; you breath? he's on your neck. he doesn't mind AT ALL, but i do see him leaning more into an specific type, the bubbly yet shy one, idk if it makes sense but the typical girlie that's so kind and happy but also so easy to get blushed and so on. because trust me when i tell you leehan is heeseung's pupil when it comes to their flirty ass... the smirks??? he's so fucking you while calling you the prettiest names and you blush like a mad girl.

woonhak; honestly idk, i feel like he is yet to find it out himself. he's too young so it's hard to tell but so far he would stay with korean girls because he's not that "experienced", he doesn't know any foreign languages to that extend and South Korea is all he knows so yeah. he's on character development :')

so for me it'll be:

MOST.

leehan. again, he's into whatever breaths so yeah.

jaehyun. love is limitless <33

sungho. he's very open minded when it comes to love.

taesan. love prevails.

riwoo. not very into it but it could happen.

woonhak. let him finish highschool, thanks.

LEAST.

[suki-daydreams]

Umbrella

info : past arc gojo x baker reader, (reader is not a sorcerer, but gojo is), tiny angst to fluff, reader is a sweetheart (i love u), gojo and reader meet, comfort

suki's notes : this takes place right after geto goes cray-cray. this is also my first tumblr post- pls bear with me. this story will most likely have multiple parts and will eventually become present into the jjk world (season 1). hope you all enjoy! idek if anyone is even going to see this

THIS POST IS UNEDITED

spoilers if you haven't watched s2 of jjk- the hidden inventory arc

I do a recap in the beginning- SOOOOO

if u haven't watched season 2 yet- SKIP AHEAD

but if u know what happens and ur too impatient skip ahead ;-;

~~~

"The umbrella symbolizes the canopy of the heavens, shelter, and protection. The parasol is a symbol of the SUN, and an umbrella is a symbol of the shade. It is often an emblem of power and dignity."

___

Defeated. Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer, the most powerful man in the modern world, felt defeated. how exactly?

Gojo had a mission to escort a girl named Riko Amanai alongside with his best friend, Geto Suguru.

Geto and Gojo were the strongest.

Riko was going to be sacrificed to a powerful being named Tengen to renew their existence for a period of time to protect the safety of sorcerers and their whereabouts.

But, the mission failed. Just when Riko realized she finally wanted to live for herself. She got shot in the head by a man named Toji, an assassin, who goes by many names but it mainly known for being the "killer of sorcerers".

Gojo avenged Riko's death by killing Toji.

And with that, Gojo became the strongest.

Finally learning how to control his power, and harnessing it to the fullest. He went on solo missions- orders given by his teacher, leaving his best friend behind.

But, little did Gojo know, his best friend lost his way, but at the same time, found his way. Found how he wanted to live his life.

Sorcerers kills curses, they protect non-sorcerers. Geto witnessed the ugliness of the weak, aka non-sorceres, when cultists wanted Riko dead, and they got what they wanted. Geto's other friend, a first year, named Yu Haibara, died during a mission with another first year by his side, Kento Nanami, who survived.

Riko's death, Yu's death, a conversation with a girl in the middle of his mourning- all changed Geto's ideals.

Geto massacred a whole village including his parents. His dream is to now eliminate all non sorcerers. He was expelled from jujutsu high with an execution on his head.

And, it was up to Gojo to kill him. But, he couldn't. Even when he had the chance, even when Geto turned his back on Gojo. He did nothing.

He couldn't kill his best friend. The only one he's ever had.

Riko's death, Yu's death, Geto leaving.

___ end of recap

All light was sucked out of Gojo's world. An endless void of despair and defeat, crushed his soul.

He questioned his strength, his very own being, everything.

He let his feet drag him to wherever. He walked and walked, and soon found himself somewhere in the city. Collapsing on the wet pavement of stairs, as his phone vibrated.

Dragging it out of his pocket and flipping it open to answer the call.

"Gojo.. where are you?" It was another friend of Gojos, her name was Shoko Ieiri, she was also good friends with Yu and Geto.

"I'm on a mission Yaga sent me on," he lied.

"How humorous. I asked Yaga and he said he hasn't sent you on a mission yet."

Gojo scoffed and threw his head back with his eyes shut, he simply just let the raindrops fall onto his face. He didn't even have the energy to activate his infinity to stop him from getting wet.

"Yeah.. well. I'm on a mission of my own. I want to be alone right now." He said, Shoko let out a big sigh.

"Gojo, come back- if you don't. I will find you-"

"Yeah.. well. Good luck with that."

He shut his phone, hanging up the call with his brunette friend. He shoved the electronic back in his pocket while the rain pattered on his body. It didn't hurt. It was calming, but also very lonely.

Anger filled his body, as he drowned himself more and more into his emotions, thoughts, and what he was going through. He hated being vulnerable. If he was blessed with these powers. Why... couldn't he save the one's closest to him?

"GODAMMIT!" Gojo screamed to the sky, "if I really am worth something, if I really am worth being here, send me a sign, a blessing!! Whatever!" He yelled, then his head dropped. His icy blue irises staring nothing into the ground as raindrops hit the cement.

"I... have nothing to lose." His voice came out as a whisper, despite screaming on the top of his lungs a few seconds ago.

He decided to give heaven a chance. He waited... and waited.. nothing. More rain on an empty street.

Until it all stopped. He heard the rain, but no longer felt it. Assuming it was Shoko, he sighed out.

"Wow. Found me already, Shoko? I'm impressed," he said then finally gained the strength to look over his shoulder, his heart jumped.

You.

Your hair starting to get damp from the rain, your e/c (eye color) orbs staring back at him with all your beautiful features. You were mesmerizing, hugging a dessert bag to your chest to stop the rain from soaking it, while you let your purse dangle loosely by your side.

He swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Uh-"

"Hi," you simply said with a smile, "I'm sorry I'm not this 'Shoko' you're talking about," you said with a small giggle, "but, you're getting wet, so here's my umbrella," your voice was soft, enchanting, music to his ears.

"Thanks." He said, as you held your umbrella out. But, he never took it from your grasp. It was big enough to cover you and him, so you placed it in between you two.

"Are you alright?" You asked, as you took a seat right next to him.

"Yeah.. why?" Is all he could force himself to say while staring back at you.

"Well, I mean.." you said looking around at the fast rain hitting every surface in your view before focusing your attention back on him, "you're sitting out here all by yourself. In the rain... in the cold... by yourself?"

He finally mustered up the courage to clear his throat and say, "I'm not exactly in my best moment right now."

You did nothing but smile, "understandable. But, you shouldn't be neglecting your needs. You could catch a cold."

He sighed, a non sorcerer talking about "needs".

"Yeah. Well. What exactly do I need right now?" He snapped, then sighed, "I have nothing to lose." It was silent, barely a whisper. But, you heard it, and did nothing but blink.

Then suddenly. You smiled and held out the umbrella.

"You need an umbrella."

Gojo : (ಠ_ಠ)

You giggled at his reaction.

"And, maybe... you need to find your way again," you said, making his eyes widened.

"Everything about you is bright. From your hair, your eyes, your skin," you pointed at each feature of his as you said it, then you dropped your arm to your side. "You glow on a dark cloudy-rainy evening like this, but you have this sad feeling to you."

He turned his head to stare at his feet.

"Whatever you're going through. I hope you get through it. With all the umbrellas you need!" You said, throwing your arms out. Then you smiled, "my grandma once told me, 'it's okay to lose your way, it's okay to be stuck once in a while. But, it's not okay to stay stuck in the same miserable spot.'"

Then you stood up, "you gotta pick yourself up! Because no one will," you stated, he nodded. He knows.

"And, life won't wait for you, it's just gonna keep going and going," you said and handed him the dessert bag you kept dry, "this has some kikufuku, castella, and a cake roll, if something makes everyone feel better- it's food! Especially sweets." You said with a small 'yum'.

He stared at you.

Then you smiled sheepishly, "it's been a couple hours since they were made- it's usually better fresh, but I hope you enjoy them either way!" You smiled, then waved goodbye at him.

"Goodbye stranger! Until we meet again," you said, turning around and walking away. Then suddenly, you jumped and turned around once again, "I forgot to say- you have really pretty eyes!" You yelled, then giggled, "bye now!"

He watched your figure turn the corner and disappear, but he continued to stare at nothing.

Speechless. He was speechless.

What just happened.

He's a stranger to you, you're a stranger to him, yet you gave him life advice, your umbrella, desserts, a compliment, and comfort- in less than 10 minutes.

Everything resumed, as he finally took in what happened. Not that he needed to, but he cursed at himself for not thanking you at the least.

Gojo hopes he can meet you again. Then he glanced at the shop name on the dessert bag, a small smile plastered his face. He knows how.

With the umbrella still in his hand, he picked himself up off the of ground with the dessert bag hanging around his wrist and began to make his way back to jujutsu high. Thoughts lingered his head. You roamed his mind even after he made it back, even when he was laying in bed at night.

The umbrella that you gave him was in the corner of his room, the moonlight peeking through his window dimly shining on it.

He asked for a blessing..

And there, you came.

end ~

more to come

__

I feel like I made Shoko a little out of character lol fuc.

What do y'all think? I don't even know if this is going to reach people LMAOO

I also really want to write a Sukuna x reader inspired by Beauty and The Beast. but 4 now. I am going to focus on gojo x baker reader. BUT I WILL WRITE IT SOMEDAY. PROMISE

also gonna write some toji fanfics. but not rn

if u didnt know (ofc u wouldnt. this is my first post) gojo is my main man crush. but i also really like toji and sukuna <3

[thatdesklamp]

your most recent gojo oneshot…. i need to ask.. would you ever consider writing a geto fic bc the way you write him (and every other character honestly) is IMPECCABLE

oh bbg.. I don’t know how to say this but I truly am not a geto fucker

(I’m so intrinsically—haha—not a geto fucker that I genuinely thought we were all joking when ppl talked about liking him more than Gojo. I thought we were just taking the piss?!?! I cannot conceptualise how some people are Geto>Gojo I’m so sorry)

I’m glad you think I’ve got his characterisation down because girlie I am *so* rocky on that. I will honestly admit that I do not understand him at all, really, and so writing him has always been a bloody ball ache. Usually with characters there’s the ‘a-ha!’ moment where their characterisation clicks but with him I literally don’t get him. He doesn’t seem as rich or well rounded of a character as Gojo (sorry to my Geto girlies)?? Maybe that’s due to screentime, maybe that’s due to me being thick and not getting him, but either way he’s never clicked for me. What even are his second year ideals idek man.

If anyone has any stellar Geto recs (in whatever x reader, stsg, etc., form you’d like) that really show off his characterisation then pls pls send them my way, I would love help on understanding him more. But until then </3 idk how geto-y I will be LMAO

[feuqueerfire]

Utsukushii Kare (S1, S2, Movie) Live Blogging

I can't believe I'm finally, finally, finally getting around to watching Season 2 and the movie (+ rewatching season 1).

I knew I liked this show well enough and the characters have stayed with me since watching it in 2022 but I didn't realize that Utsukushii Kare is pretty special because it's actually the very first live blogging post I did on this blog. It was February 2022 and now it's 2+ years later March 2024. Before then, I'd maybe tweet a thread of me watching but the tweets would be sparse because I didn't wanna spam people. I think I got the idea because I was writing so many Bad Buddy thoughts (also in Jan-Feb 2022) on my show tracking spreadsheet and that wasn't sustainable lol

Anyway, looking at these is making me remember that I'd been looking forward to season 2 from when I finished watching (from my live blogging ending thoughts) and had anticipated the release of it for months and months. Even more ridiculously, in my show tracking spreadsheet, the only thing I wrote for this show was a link to my live blogging and "If there was a sequel, I'd watch" bruh that's all I had to say and yet I'm finally watching the sequel 2 years later (while the sequel has been out for a year).

Anyway, enough chatter, I think I'm just delaying watching this show because I like season 1 and the characters so much and I'm just... nervous about my expectations.

Utsukushii Kare: Season 1

Probably won't be writing much because I already did the whole live blogging for this.

Also, it's weird that I haven't rewatched this? Why do I remember it so vividly if I haven't rewatched? I occasionally watch a bunch of tiktoks for the show and sometimes people mention it in podcasts, so maybe that's why? I was thinking maybe I'd watched reaction videos but nah, apparently I'd only watched that for 1 account back in April 2022. Once again, I continue to ramble instead of pressing play

Ep 1 (Mar 23)

Watched like 12 minutes before falling asleep

Ah, the fondness is coming back

Ep 2 (Mar 23)

Oh, the group going to Hira's house and the bike riding scene is here? in my head it was later

And the bike riding continues to be an incredible scene

Ep 3 (Apr 17)

Uhhh, I'm back after almost a month lol I think I wanted something much easier without complex dynamics at the time, so I'd watched Destiny Seeker instead

Oh, I'd forgotten about this tense scene after the contest

ahh the masturbation thing lolol

It bothers me that Kiyoi was nice again to those bully boys like why make good with them again? And when you're graduating no less?

that sudden kiss + pushing him hard enough that he falls to the ground + saying "see you again" before leaving really is just terrible and confusing lol

Ah, Hira really was always putting himself down and putting Kiyoi in a pedastal in these episodes + I remembered when somebody pointed out that in Hira's POV, there are many shots where Kiyoi is on elevated ground or taller/higher than Hira, so I noticed a lot of that in this ep

Ep 4 (Apr 17)

ack, the immediate 'stalker' to someone who ppl think is his fan is so T.T

"I want to kneel down at your feet right now" kills me every time

Koyoi's inability to communicate and Hira's idealized view of him are both so just . insane

ahh Kiyoi's POV from next ep

the episode starting with Hira saying "For several insipid years, all I did was grow up." while Kiyoi ends the episode with the same sentence

Ep 5 (Apr 17)

seeing Kiyoi lose his mind over Hira is so cathartic

ough, i forgot this hug that Kiyoi sees

I disliked the other guy more when I first watched it than I do now

Ep 6 (Apr 18)

Oops, went almost the whole day without watching anything

finger sucking scene

Ouch

the conversation at the school is just so good man, like ouch but hopeful

hehe cute biking

Overall:

Ahh, idek why I wasn't Gripped by this rewatch, like I like the characters and dynamics but it wasn't keeping my attention as much, maybe because it's a rewatch? Maybe my original rating of 6.5 was correct and I shouldn't have bumped it up to 7 but who knows, maybe I'll be reintroduced to the brainworms after watching Season 2 because I found ep 6 really engaging and was into it and S2 + movie will have new, unfamiliar stories for me.

Season 2

Ep 1 (Apr 18)

How soon after S1 is this season starting?

akkkk "Are you angry?" "Why?" "Last night I was too persistent" alkdjfasd;lkf

It's weird to realize that like... I'm older than them. I was several years older than them when they were in high school and now I'm probably 1-2 years older than them because Hira said graduation is approaching but it's weird still idk

not Mr. Suspicious lmfaoo

Hira kneeling and crawling around really is just a lot

it's so funny how Hira trembles in Kiyoi's presence because he's apparently standing too close, meanwhile we know for a fact that they canonically fuck

Hira's persistent fear that Kiyoi might die ?!

they're both so constipated in different ways, I'm dying like Hira's extreme lack of confidence about his looks and sense of self vs Kiyoi obviously being in love with him and wanting to reassure him but also not being able to compliment him truthfully and sincerely

Kiyoi's every sentence is a trap lmfao

omg I was so distracted by her, she's gorgeous and I love the outfit and jewelry

Kiyoi seething with jealousy ahh

lolol "today we're gonna do it"

oh my goddd what a good episode, I was giggling and dying and so engaged, I'm glad I love it so far because I was kinda nervous after not being as enamoured by S1

Ep 2 (Apr 19)

ah, i'm clutching my heart, flashback to the scene of when Hira taught Kiyoi about the tea olives or whatever and Kiyoi just desperately wanted Hira to say he likes him

return of Suspicious-kun plss

Is the other guy who's there for Anna gonna be significant? Either as an Anna s/o as well or as a Kiyoi hater maybe?

does Kiyoi want their love life to be more exciting?

aksldfj why are each of them so annoying like Koyoma's being like yeah Hira doesn't shut the fuck up about you and your drama at school while Kiyoi's like "Is Koyoma saying he sees a side of Hira I don't see? Is he trying to assert dominance?" like girl both hira and him are just dumbasses god bless

Koyoma on Kiyoi's ass for freeloading off of Hira and letting Hira do all the housework while he just pursues his acting or whatever ohh

pls Hira treating this shitty food as if it's from Olympus

Ah, Hira joining the photography competition at Kiyoi's encouragement (though the pressure would make me buckle)

Ep 3 (Apr 19)

Hira not making it to the next round of the competition but Kiyoi still being supportive, I needed to see this rn tbh

oh my god this is so sad man, they're literally always just on different lines of thinking because Kiyoi wants to be treated as an equal in the relationship while Hira thinks it would be an insult to think of himself as ever reaching Kiyoi's status

but it's so sad the way Kiyoi wants to obviously be known as Hira's bf (even though they can't) and the way he's hurting knowing that Hira wants Kiyoi and his parents to be completely separate owwww

omg? Hira saying I don't want to understand you? fucked up fr

Their relationship is often somewhat tragic because of their dynamic and how they see themselves and the fact that what they want from the relationship is different but this ep is so sad man

Ep 4 (Apr 19)

ah, good thing Kiyoi came back because they only have 1 episode of 23 mins left and i don't want the ending to be rushed lol

sorry accidentally got the ick when Kiyoi came and ordered Hira to get ginger ale in front of everybody even though ik it's like Dynamics but still why in front of dumbass bullies smhh

Hira not liking Kiyoi saying it's fine if he doesn't get a job after uni bc he can take care of them makes sense but then smiling happily when Kiyoi says "fine, then work like a workhorse and if you mess anything up for me I'll throw you away" is sooooo

huh? Why Hira didn't submit anything?

oh it's a different thing that Hira didn't submit for? Because he did indeed submit for the contest

woah, gasped at the fact that Hira is kneeling but at eye-level/slight higher than Kiyoi instead of lowering himself as much as possible

Hira being fed chocolate by Kiyoi, ah

great, delightful

Overall:

This season is about Hira and Kiyoi's relationship. They didn't become boring after getting together, they didn't magically end up being a perfect happy well-adjusted couple after getting together, nor were there random issues thrown just because; the struggles and hurdles are true to their characters and dynamics.

I was a bit afraid that I'd be meh about it because I was like fine but not Hooked on the S1 rewatch but the S2 was great, for real. I liked the themes and dynamics it explored and their character + relationship development and progression. I also smiled a lot and lost my mind a little at certain moments.

Strong writing, strong characters, strong acting, what a relief.

Rating: 7/10

Movie: Eternal

No clue what the movie is about actually, though there are a few gifsets/moments that I've seen that didn't appear in the series, so much be from here. + I saw one comment saying that Anna and Noguchi are supposed to be there more in the movie. oh also actually?? a kidnapping plot?? i heard it mentioned in a podcast i think

omg they're each recounting how they met the other to their own mentors

not the shrine ?!?! omg

I really don't know how to feel about Anna's fan like do we need to kill him or what?

what does Hira mean by him and Kiyoi drifting apart?

hah the divorce thing is here, I loved the gifset when I saw it and have had it in my likes for Months, gonna finally be able to reblog it

i think i saw a gifset or clip in this bathtub scene and I'm a great enjoyer of people discussing their desire for dubcon/cnc roleplay

Idk if I hate that I keep skipping all their makeouts/allusion to sex scenes like aghhh

I've also seen this part about hira apologizing for not having same free time as Kiyoi and Kiyoi grabbing his face in his hand to say stop apologizing, you've tried your best. i like it a lot

wait are Anna and Noguchi dating? I wanna know who the person Anna was talking about who has her heart but they can rarely meet because they're in the same industry. and it'd have the parallel of Hira wanting to photograph Kiyoi while Noguchi gets to photograph Anna

Noguchi used to be a scenario photographer?

ah, Hira didn't show up to the shoot with Noguchi and Kiyoi

pls why are they both obsessed with this award, he doesn't even have regular professional photography experience c'mon girls

oh, Anna's bf is some random actor from another company.

her fan is being... fine for now.

Aw, Anna

dang, they're bringing Anna to live with Hira's cousin

So does the aunt know that Hira and Kiyoi are like a thing or does she still think their fan/friend lol

Hira saying only Kiyoi is allowed to call him creepy and such because he's special + Kiyoi being like "he's creepy right?" Anna: "yeah" Kiyoi: Hey!

Ouch, yeah Hira saying he doesn't know what to shoot is crazy

Oof, Hira and Anna dating scandal

It must be so funny if you're watching this without knowing about EA celebrity dating culture (though even in SK, actors can date) and being like ? why is this a scandal ?

but i'm unexpectedly getting a celebrity-centric BL without seeking it out, which is great, esp bc when I seek it out I don't tend to find too many which actually give me what I want

random het sob story in the middle of my Utsukushii Kare but I like Anna so I'll allow it for like... 2 minutes

Ah, the kidnapping lol

oh it really is the Anna fan fuckhead aghhh how terrible, he's been off since the start

pls saviour Hira

Hira gets to photograph Kiyoi professionally yay

deciding to have one subject as your photo subject is crazy if you wanna be a professional but alright I'll buy into it

ah, conversation about beauty and age

gorgeous ending

Overall:

Great, fun, though not as emotionally invested as Season 2 because they're in a better place in their relationship in this movie (even if it's not necessarily Perfect). It was interesting to have new people in their lives like Anna and Noguchi and how their stories influenced them. I'm happy with where we're leaving off the characters after ~6h of show/movie.

Rating: 6.5/10

[snailsgoingdowntown]

i loved your latest bsd work! also its v realistic (at least for me) bc i keep seeing these works of like, staying with them through thick and thin and while it is cute! kinda unrealistic 😭 i hope u have a good day 🫶

Gdhd thank you!!!

It really is unrealistic. A lot of people, myself included, would make the argument that everything would turn out alright if you would just stay. But that's neither healthy nor possible (majority of the time). Obviously yes, in some cases that works, but in many more it just won't.

I would know, because once upon a time I tried to stay with someone who was just... Toxic. It was not good for my mental health and I stayed up all night barely getting three hours of sleep in talking them out of well... Yeah.

The amount of times I cried and had mental breakdowns on the daily was not. Ideal. But it was exactly the memories of that, that made me think: "a relationship with these characters is impossible."

They have may issues that many people are just not equipped to handle, either because they were never told how or because they simply can't, regardless if they're in the same situation/have the same thoughts/feelings as these characters.

Like, realistically, ik many people would not be able to deal with Dazai. I wouldn't be able to, that man would make me fall down into a pit of despair where I return to my old habits and thoughts I don't want to go through again.

Kunikida would be horrible to deal with, at least Dazai would make a person laugh. He's way too strict and I have a fear of people like that, not only that, he tends to speak with his chest out in a loud voice. That's not a bad thing, but for him specifically, it makes him feel unapproachable, to me at least. If you're caught up with the manga, then you know how Aya's dad is, and I am afraid of him becoming like that if he were to ever find a lover or have a kid. Sure, it wouldn't be on purpose, but realistically, there is a decent sized chance that MIGHT happen.

I wouldn't be able to deal with Ranpo, we'd get into fights 24/7. He would make me cry and I would punch his face.

Chuuya... Haha, I honestly can't see him with anyone. Dazai and the sheep probably ruined that for him, along with that one guy in stormbringer who's name I forgot. They're lucky he still has trust in him for them.

Aku and higuchi are a very toxic dual, and keep in mind she likes him the way he is. So imagine if her affections were to shift to someone new, and based on how obsessive she is with him, it would probably be the same story, and remember, in one side story, she literally used her off day to stalk him. Not only that but she wanted to kill Gin simply because she THOUGHT she was romantically involved with Aku. And she did a total 180 when she found out she was his sister.

Tbh I think Gin would make a better choice for Higuchi cuz at least she doesn't slap her around.

But yeah, a relationship with any of these characters would probably be impossible for most, not all, but most. It's always good to be there for people, but please set boundaries, know your limits.

But yea, that's the joy of fan fiction, you can make anything work in fiction. But in reality it probably wouldn't. But fiction is nice. Idek what I'm saying anymore, it's 3am, but thank you for the ask and remember to take care of yourself too!!

[stewy]

howdy jack!!! so i know you love bioshock, and im starting bioshock infinite now, and wanted to know your thoughts feelings opinions on it (if youve played it)? i literally just started last night bc i was disappointed by the ending of the first game and wanted MORE. one thing ive heard is it handles racial injustice badly in the last act of the game, and you have always been outspoken about racism in media, so i wanted to know your opinion on that specifically? if you want to talk about any of this, obviously, idek if you played it! appreciate you and hope you have a great week webstie 💖 a

hiya shiv <3 i love bioshock infinite! i actually did the reverse thing where i played it first and only then picked up 1 & 2 lol but yes, infinite is a very very good game. 2013 was a good year for girls who like to shoot things and press buttons

so, racism in definitely a subject approached in bioshock. race plays a key factor in the worldbuilding, confronting the player to the point where they cannot escape it. playing as white man booker, we are complicit in every action; from that scene to the last act. not to make everything about doctor who (ew), last night i rewatched the s3 finale for the 34095th time and a scene in it reminded me of this ask: when francine (martha's mother) picks up the gun to shoot the master after all the terrible torture she's endured, and put an end to it, white man doctor says that NO! violence is NOT the answer! peace and love on planet earth! all of that for the master to finally be killed by the white woman he tortured/married.

it reminded me of you because something quite similar happens in BI: in a shocking twist (/s), we learn that the actions of the black female leader of the revolution are just as bad as the comstock's because *gasps* she decided to respond with violence to violence. my point is that, race is a factor taken into consideration by BI (and with wayyy more care than in DW), but it inevitably falls into the trap of taking white/western idealism as the moral high ground for all. it doesn't matter if you and your black family have suffered under the hands of white supremacists; if you shoot back, you're just as bad. ALSO, there's the fact that this is literally a FPS. how fucking hypocritical is that?

so i guess this is what people mean, from what i remembered? and, honestly, while BI is way more progressive and upfront about racism in early 20th century america than most media, it still doesn't go anywhere with it. our main characters are white booker and elizabeth, and we stay with them the whole time, save for our encounters with daisy. the depiction of the chinese weirded me the fuck out as well, but i haven't played that bit in a while so i can't recall specifically what bothered me about it. but it's still a good game! and i hope you enjoy it anyway >:]

[carpathxanridge]

therapist pointed out to me the other day that i have to be more critical of the people i’m becoming friends with/hanging out with, that it seems like i’m hanging out with some people who make me uncomfortable but i’m so focused on how badly i NEED to make friends and whether i’m coming off as socially inept or doing something wrong that i’m not even evaluating whether all of the people i’m casual friends with actually pass the “vibe check,” so-to-speak. and i realized… yeah it’s kinda true. he was like “i’m worried you’re attracted to people who keep you on edge.” and yeah it’s not lost on me that i’m attracted to people who remind me of my abusive father 🙃 or my pretty messed up childhood music teacher. and it’s those people i am more self-conscious around because it’s almost like i crave their approval and recognition and affection as surrogate for what i didn’t receive from those figures in childhood. almost tragically freudian. and like, it’s also the fact that i desire being intellectual challenged but most men (and i’m in a very male dominated program, so i am just not meeting women) see intellectual conversations as a game of one-upmanship rather than a way to connect. and it sucks to know you’re irrationally drawn toward someone who, in all honesty, doesn’t give a shit about you. i wish i could take my therapist’s advice, but idk if i can, part of me thinks i’m just fucked up. and the other aspect is like, when i told him about this one casual male friend who asked recently if i wanted to get coffee, he was like “see that’s what you want! someone who is going to make an overture because they genuinely want to get to know you!” but i’m like… i do not want to end up trying to be friends with some dude who is potentially expecting something romantic, and i have a reallllly hard time reading when that may be. unfortunately it just feels safer to be friends with guys where i can just feel like “one of the dudes,” even if that means them not really being that demonstrative and making me wonder if they even like hanging out with me lmao. i feel like this is an issue that could all be fixed if i were practicing female separatism, but as i said, on the daily i am just surrounded by men. and then of course there is the phenomenon of being approached randomly on campus by men all the time and sometimes that leading to interesting conversations, and i guess i could be approaching women who i want to be friends with that way, but i worry about coming across as predatory or making them uncomfortable the same way i sometimes get uncomfortable when these random men approach me! which i know i shouldn’t assume will happen and should also trust my ability to gauge a woman’s discomfort and leave her alone. but also like… another thing is idek how my sexuality is being read anymore in social interactions, i feel like i always used to get read as gay, but now i think i’m just getting read as “practically dressed stoner musician.” a guy told me recently he assumed i’m asexual which made me laugh because i felt like i was being assigned celibate. which i guess is the ideal though… i’d much rather men see me as a sexless individual than potential prey. man idk, the dynamics are weird. i miss my friends from home.

[tiodolma]

I remember you said you hate Arthur 😗 What are your thoughts on Gwen? Do you like Gwencelot?

guinevere guinevere guinevere... RANT INCOMING. Hot takes generator coming along. brace yourself.

hmm i think she had a lot of potential at the start especially in s1. She was spunky. She had really good rapport with merlin. It felt like she and him could have done a lot of pranks and hijinks.

Then when mergana (the whole shebang) started to happen i thnk they pushed her to become more of arthur's voice of reason as replacement for the spot morgana used to hold.

it's still a little weird how she and arthur got together tbh. Like okay, her views on arthur started to change when he began saving merlin's life i in the cup of life episode. But Idk i wish we could've seen more introspection on her part?

She's not like Merlin and Morgana who had high hopes for Arthur from the very start. Both of them had been working on Arthur from the Bottom and Top. Merlin was peasantry and Morgana was nobility and they both pushed Arthur to be the kinda cool dude he was in S1. And I feel like she got pulled along by MM's efforts to see the good in Arthur. Where does Guinevere fit in all of this? In the middle… I guess because it worked! MM's efforts showed that there was hope in Arthur and Guinevere acknowledged that. Then in s2 when Merlin became more focused in thwarting Morgana in and when Morgana's powers truly awakened and her hate for Uther deepened... Guinevere was what? left to pick up the pieces? I think?

I'm saying this because in s2 both MerMor were already stepping into their destinies, the real "I want to do what's best for Arthur and Camelot." phase. Guinevere was stuck in the weird spot of just being the one who truly cares for Arthur as person.

Now I know this sounds ArWen-positive. but on Gwen's side.

The problem with Arthur tho is that once someone is kind to him he he holds that person on a pedestal and only wants to see that version ever. IDEK why in the span of five seasons, he still has a low opinion on women and girls, he still has this chivalric notions that it's a men's world and girls should just be protected and kept in the dark and that servants should just stay as servants. Moreover his attitude with the women Uther tries to make him marry is abhorrent. He doesn't like the girls who challenge and mirror him too much (like Vivian or Elena from The Changeling). For him his ideal woman is the prim proper perfect loyal- looks good as nobility type. He has this like list of what makes a perfect woman for him and it's so incel-like lol. The moment any of these make a mistake, he casts them away (yes even guinevere). He can make all those "I am doing this for the kingdom" "my love can never be" "what would my father think" excuses but what happened when Guinevere became his queeen and chief adviser? He kept things from her and won't listen to her as his voice of reason. He's honestly frustrating tbh. His ego mixes with his notion of being a "King" and a "Man" and he kept pulling rank at both his Queen and Merlin.

This leads me back to Guinevere just being pulled by the story and cleaning up all the messes ArMerGana leave behind. It's complicated. She's a reflection of whoever was close to her. When she was still close to Morgana, she thought Arthur was a prick. When she was close to Merlin, she almost shared his views of Arthur being the "best thing ever." When MerGana decided that Arthur was an okay dude, guinevere also rode that boat. When Arthur was king and was already like "magic users are all lunatics" Guinevere became like, "yass ur right u have a point." Morgana tortures and brainwashes her and she becomes the latter's ultimate weaopn. Merlin lies to her constantly and she's just "fine whatever you say Merlin teehee but i'm watching you OwO." Arthur abuses Merlin even as King and Guinvere is still like "Aww you two are so cute, but i also think merlin staying as ur servant serving you for eternity is alright."

On one hand ppl can say that she can make her own judgement. Ofc she can. But I wish I saw more? just more. What are her hopes and dreams outside of arthur, merlin, morgana or elyan? Did she want to be a smithy? did she want to be a maidservant forever? did she hope to be a lady in waiting? did she want to become an apprentice of gaius? did she want to be queen? was she not upset that merlin and arthur kept secrets from her? (this was a deleted scene from s5 btw) does she even want a kid? we dont even know that! we know nothing!

She was interesting as Queen, I admit, but bruh it was still like watching Morgana and Arthur on the throne (and lets be real she had been their representative on both times). It's annoying. And this is my point. Guinevere is like... a shapeshifter or chameleon. That's why even now we could never tell what she would be like as queen post-series. WE DON'T KNOW GUINEVERE.

it's like she was whatever the narrative wanted her to be. Maybe that's the point then, that it's her destiny to be the boat that tries to keep itself afloat as the natural disasters called Arthur, Morgana and Merlin swirled and raged around her.

the only light at the end of that tunnel i think was Lancelot. His presence made her actually pursue stuff/hopes/dreams. AND IT SHOWS. They remind me of MerGana in their intense moments in s1-s4. GwenCelot chemistry is electric as hell. THEY WANT EACH OTHER, not for the king or queen or knight that they can become BUT EACH OTHER.

When Merlin and Guinevere weren't too wrapped up in "arthur is actually a good guy deep inside, just trust me on this, give him a chance give him a chance give him a chance" moments, when Merlin and Guinevere PURSUE SOMETHING ELSE, I see honesty, I see something RAW, i can see cracks in the facade forced on them just by merely being in Arthur's presence start to fade and break down.

So yeah. Lancelot had to be killed early coz what would happen to the "King Arthur is the best and hottest sht in the universe" narrative if we had actual Mr. Anime Protagonist Lancelot Du Lac in the show?

GwenCelot needed to happen. I was waiting for it so bad. I was so excited for it. It would have been he perfect foil to ArGwen. It would have added a lot more spice to the show. It would have made Guinevere a more well rounded character with her own hopes and wants instead of the "she's the only braincell holding this group together" character. I want to know Guinevere better, all the good and the bad and not just this impossible perfect angel that the show carved her out to be.

overall thoughts on guinevere? started interesting, ended up boring, gave us nothing.

overall thoughts on gwencelot? yes pls give us the dramatic, encompases beyond all reason courtly romance that arthuriana is known for.

[purplesurveys]

1683

Do you have the right time set on your microwave?: Our microwave doesn’t include the time on it.

Do you have any old newspaper articles? Why?: No, my family has never been the type to buy newspapers. This reminds me that there used to be a nice old man who used to stand by the entrance of our village, ready to sell newspapers to the cars who drive out every morning. He’s stopped appearing for what’s probably been 2, 3 years now :( I hope he’s still out there and keeping healthy.

Do you have a flat screen tv or just a regular box?: We mostly have flat screens now but the one in our dining room is a much older, box-type TV just because if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. We only ever turn it on when my dad is home because he likes having the evening news on when we have dinner.

Do you have a radar detector for your car?: A...what? I don’t even know what that is haha. I have a dashcam and that’s it.

Have you ever been arrested? For what?: Nope.

Do you know how to change the oil in your car?: Nope. I let my dad do all the maintenance work on my car as he prefers to do it anyway.

Have you taken your shower yet?: I did this morning since I had to drive to work.

Do you like Tootsie Rolls?: I don’t think I’ve ever had one, actually.

Do you have a printer? What kind?: No. We used to have one, but when it started malfunctioning we didn’t feel the need to get a new one since we were reaching that point where no one in the family needed to print stuff constantly anymore.

Are you seeing anybody currently?: Nope.

Do you or have you ever smoked cigarettes?: I have, but I never look for them. I’ll probably be doing so in Thailand, though, since apparently vapes are illegal.

Do you like it when it snows?: I have never experienced snow.

Are your ears pierced?: Yes. Weirdly enough they never closed even though I haven’t worn a pair in 15 years.

Where do you do most of your shopping?: I find shopping so tiring LOL so I do it all online. Shopee or Zalora are my usuals.

Who do you live with?: My family.

What is your most expensive bill?: I’m not required to pay bills but I do hand over a sum to my parents every payday, which is usually my biggest monthly ‘expense,’ if anything.

Do you have a big yard?: I mean it’s not acres-level of big but it is very comfortable for a family of 5.

Do you live in the country or the city?: City.

Do you sleep alone or with someone every night?: Alone.

Did you have a treehouse as a child?: I didn’t. Children’s shows made me want one, but I quickly realized it wasn’t possible because we didn’t even have a tree big and sturdy enough for one.

At what age did you obtain your driver license?: 18.

Do you look in the newspaper for coupons?: Nope. I haven’t opened a newspaper since college and I don’t think ours have coupons either?

Did you get a big tax refund from last year?: No. It was like...literally ₱29, which is apparently more or less 50 cents.

Do you like Slim Jim’s?: That’s the beef jerky, right? The things I learn from wrestling and their brand sponsorships, lmao...anyway, no. Idek what beef jerky is.

Is there someone you would love to punch right now?: Not really.

Did you grow up fast?: Yes, because my childhood home wasn’t the ideal environment for a kid to live in. My mom also never really knew how to...deal with kids, and communicate in a way a child could understand, so I remember being 5 and hyperventilating about the thought of my mom disowning me or spanking me or not talking to me for a week because of little accidents at home. By 9 or 10 I was pretty jaded, and it made me become a nightmare of a child for a while.

What are you favorite kind of chips?: Baked chips in cheese flavor :) Oh and salted egg chips!!

Have you taken any medicine recently? For what?: Nah.

What have you eaten today?: We had leftover lechon manok that my dad kind of reimagined and remade to be some sort of kimchi roasted chicken. It was very delicious.

Did you or are you going to wash your hair today?: I did this morning when I took a shower.

Does the water in your shower take a long time to get warm?: Not at all! It gets all warm and toasty in around 10-15 seconds.

Where did you go today?: I was at the office for most of today.

Are you sleepy right now?: Not particularly but I know I should be going to bed so I can *start* to feel sleepy. It’s past midnight and I’ve still got work tomorrow.

What color is your mousepad?: I don’t use a mouse.

Should you be doing something else at the moment?: Yes - preparing for bed.

Do you like your neighbors?: I don’t know them at all, so I have nothing to say, really. None of them irritate me though.

Do you have bedroom shoes?: Continued from the other night. Technically I have a couple of fluffy slippers I can use around the house but I keep forgetting to use them. When you’ve walked barefoot indoors your entire life it’s easy to forget about the existence of indoor slippers hahaha.

Do you get your eyebrows waxed?: No, I generally don’t care for maintaining my eyebrows. You do you, but I just feel like it’s such a minor, forgettable thing to get invested on.

Has anyone given you flowers recently?: Nope.

Do you work Monday thru Friday?: Yup.

Is there anything you are looking forward to tomorrow?: I’m finally going back to the salon and having my hair dyed to purple just in time for my trip next week.

How many miles does your car have on it?: Ooh I haven’t really paid much attention to it recently actually. I wanna say anywhere around 40-45k? I remember it being 30k when I was in college and just before the pandemic so that’s probably a good guesstimate.

Is your alarm clock set to radio or beep?: I don’t set an alarm. It stresses me out and I’m able to wake up early on my own anyway.

Do you like to go fishing?: I’ve never gone fishing; don’t see the appeal.

Has anyone you know been arrested recently?: Well, no.

Do you have more than 1 email address?: Yeah I have a handful.

Do you think you will have the same job 2 years from now?: I’ve reached a point where it’s pretty hard to tell, honestly. Two years is a big stretch of time and what else in the company can I achieve within that period, anyway? I’d hate to be in the immediate next position, and the position after that since both already start dealing with business development, and I never want to part from a writing-based job. Suffice it to say I need to have a rethink about what I want to do next.

Do you have central heating and air?: No, that’s not a thing here and you’ll 100% only find that in the neighborhoods of the super rich old money families.

Do you speed while driving?: I probably do but I don’t think speeding is taken all that seriously around here since I’ve never seen anyone get pulled over and fined for doing so.

Is there someplace you would rather be right now?: Ugh I would love to be in Bangkok right now. Just around 5 days to go!

Did you build the computer you are using?: No and I’d never be able to do that.

Do you have good computer speakers?: It’s pretty standard but I’ve used newer Macs (like my current work laptop) with much better speakers. I’m just lucky mine haven’t even blown out yet, because I know friends with newer Mac models but their speakers have completely fucked up on them.

Are you waiting on anything at the moment?: Yeah I filed a reimbursement request at work earlier this week and I really need that money to come in before Bangkok lol.

Where is your favorite person?: I don’t have one.

Do you keep track of your debit purchases?: As much as possible I never ever use my card directly to pay because I don’t want to end up a crazy spender.

Do you ever shop at Harris Teeter? I’ve never even heard of that before.

Do you like to burn incense?: No and I don’t like how incense smells so you’ll probably never catch me doing so.

Are there any plants in your house?: Sure, there are a few.

How long does it take you to get to work?: 20-30 minutes if no traffic; around 45 minutes to an hour if there is.

[evansbby]

Sure it’s not every man but when you trust someone and love him you have to take a HUGE risk and you just can’t know like he can make you the happiest person in the world and he can drive you insane and completely ruin your life. It’s just SO scary to let yourself love someone and take risks like that

I’m so bad at explaining myself i hope u get what I’m trying to say😭

No I totally get what you’re saying! I find being in a relationship so scary, especially now bc my next relationship would ideally be the person I marry and I gotta get serious like that’s so fuckin scary to me, I like the idea of a relationship but I hate having my happiness depend on a person, giving that person everything, feeling caged skdjsjsk idek

[akuma-homura]

sometimes I ponder about getting binders for myself and how i'd look with shorter hair but in reality i'm way too lazy for anything and not being able to pull my hair back into a ponytail would drive me nuts

like tbh i haven't even worn a bra on the daily in like a decade at this point. too uncomfortable.

and like. really i'm neutral on my body. I don't think I'd want my boobs GONE, if anything I just wish I could like. sometimes take them off. but not all the time. I would never go through top surgery bc I don't want them GONE and they don't cause me distress, really.

my ideal body is a neutral, customizable body, but like. unfortunately i am Human and also Poor so

idek, writing stuff for Phoenix just has me thinking gender stuff, since he's a trans man, and i'm. not? i'm nonbinary, not a girl, but being a guy also does not suit me. i feel just as much 'hrgh' at the thought of being a guy as I do being a girl. nonbinary and being neither fits me, and feels the most right.

but I guess I was also just thinking on the difference of experiences there. And also how I have pondered in the past, how I did feel about that.

but yeah, have settled on, I am nothing. but like. not in the depressing self-deprecating way.

the only unfortunate thing is knowing-- since I do have low energy, and wouldn't get top surgery or even a binder bc sensory issues and comfort, and also not hating my boobs, PLUS how my voice sounds, I know I'm gonna be viewed as feminine and as a woman most of

---actually i'm going to stop there somehow typing that out and really sitting with it has brought about a deep discomfort. hm. welp.

[businesscasualart]

honestly i'd be curious to hear 1, 11 and 46 if you like any holiday films, i'm always curious. i have like 3 christmas movies i've been apeshit over since childhood and apparently this isn't common

[AAA I NEVER ACTUALLY SENT THE RESPONSE MY BAD. Try not to monologue forever challenge, FAILED‼️IMPOSSIBLE‼️]

The questions are from here <3 thank you sm this was so fun!

1. Who is/are your comfort character(s)?

I actually don’t really classify my favorite characters. I just get really attached to a lil guy and add him to The Collection and don’t question it. I got a guy for nearly every mood. I collect them in a china cabinet in my mind palace or something. I don’t even know if I know exactly what a comfort character is supposed to be. But I think I can convert any of my blorbos into a source of comfort in case of an emergency. 

I DO recall the like…first and only character I openly called a comfort character with minimal second thought was Dr. Henry Jekyll from the classic gothic lit novel, The Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. 

Then my friends were like “elaborate on that” and I was like “no <3”. 

I still don’t know if I can actually elaborate on that. The curse of the Tortured-By-His-Own-Hubris-And-Sin Victorian Man™️ weighs heavily on me as well as he. That’s the best I got. C’est la vie. He’s just like me fr if you squint and tilt your head and actually go blind. 

Besides Jekyll, the beloved. Uhhhh. Who else could be a comfort character? OH haha, okay, so…

How do I condense this down without giving a whole drawn out story…I don’t have much in the way of physical insecurities. I’m usually pretty confident. But, and y’all may have noticed this by now, I’ve always fancied myself…a big, strong, masc woman. Y’know? I say butch-y a lot, idk if I can say “I’m butch” if I’m straight. 

However, despite all that, I am not…the optimal or ideal …or stereotypical? big, strong, masc woman. I am small. Small and scrawny. Greasy, wiry bastard. I’m athletic! I run for hours everyday! I work out! I tend to my family’s farm by hand! But uh…still, short, unnoticeable muscle. Nobody looks at something kinda heavy and thinks I can carry it. People laugh when I even suggest the concept of me fighting someone.

My height and difficult-to-notice muscle can upset me greatly. Like how can I be a big strong lady in this economy? Every character or person I look at that I want to be like…is about at least twice my size, or twice my mass. Like??? I’LL NEVER HAVE THE SAME VIBES, I’ll never achieve that! It’ll never be the same! 

I guess it’s a pretty common thing to feel but it’s not something I’ve really felt before or about anything else. 

Ik you’re into BG3. I haven’t played it, I don’t intend to. I think if I get it, it’s not a matter of if but when it’ll break my computer or my me. 

But…I know Some stuff…I know a little bit about Lae’zel. Like uh…frog lady, warrior or knight, rude, devoted? …uh…something about licking sweat?…xenophobia? idk that’s not my point-

My point is, like…she gets big buff lady privileges, she’s treated the same as I see most big strong ladies I wish I could look like get treated. I thought she was a particularly big strong lady for awhile! But I looked it up and like…She doesn’t have that much visible muscle at all! It’s like, mostly armor. And she’s the shortest of the party too???? But she’s regarded like she’s huge and intimidating and like…ahhhh WHATEVER WHATEVER!!! It’s kinda stupid, it feels like it’s weird to dwell on this sappy stuff towards a character idek and I got two other questions I’m late to answer. I said I wasn’t gonna give a whole lengthy story. Just like. Thinking about her existence as a character and her character’s reception just…makes me feel better about myself. So she’d probably be a big contender for the status of “Comfort Character”.

11. Favorite extracurricular activity?

OUGH extracurricular??? I am…or, ig, was homeschooled in a state with some great loose restrictions. So when it came to school, we liked to play some of it fast and loose. Our neighbor obtains a dead boar and gives it to us? We gotta turn it into dinner? Gather around children, it’s time for some… biology dissections. That type of deal.

I did have some actual “extracurricular activities”, or ig since I was homeschooled they’d be called “hobbies”. Um…I was on a chess club, I wasn’t good; I did ballet, not well; I did tap, briefly; I did piano, with the least amount of passion;……I was not a great student. But I like to talk about them!  I keep forgetting I did all of that. They were fun, my skill and gripes aside. 

I do still run for fun. I started when I was like twelve, and discovered nightcore, and got filled with energy, and realized I cannot dance. I can sprint tho! So I’ve been running, for hours everyday, to music, ever since. Even though I do art, I’d consider it very separate from my education. So “track” or “cross-country” probably has to be it. 

I did also begin learning to code recently with some…questionable free code camp website. That’s pretty fun!

46. Favorite holiday film?

OOO hm. Okay. I always have it in my head that I don’t like holiday films but that might not be entirely true. I just watch them outside of the holiday, have some unconventional choices, or just dislike the ones my family always chooses. 

Idk if the exact definition of a ‘holiday film’ is a film based around a holiday or one viewed every time a certain holiday rolls around, but my favorite that might qualify for both is Jaws. We watched it every 4th of July for good while and it was probably the first horror type movie I’ve seen, I felt like a rebel for it but it was always my parents’ idea. 😂 I’ve loved horror ever since so maybe that started me down this path!…unless it’s not actually horror.

I’d love to hear about those Christmas movies you love! I have not settled on a favorite Christmas movie! I suppose I’m difficult to please.

I keep mixing up Christmas With The Kranks and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, but I think I really enjoyed one or both of those. I ALSO LOVE A CHRISTMAS CAROLS omg, every A Christmas Carol movie, my absolute beloved. The Muppets one will always be The A Christmas Carol to me tho.

There was also It’s A Wonderful Life, I have had the WEIRDEST experience with it. I get why people don’t like it, but I’ve always firmly believed that the best way to experience a movie…is talking over it with friends and family PUT THE PITCHFORKS ASIDE FOR A MINUTE. We aren’t having full conversations the whole time but, for me, the movie watching experience just isn’t right without hearing occasional comments and thoughts and opinions and memories and predictions from company throughout the experience. No matter what movie or show it is. I think it’s a big part of why I can’t watch anything alone without going at an ABYSMALLY sluggish pace. I was raised on Reaction Videos before Reaction Videos were a thing XD

I watched It’s A Wonderful Life for the first time at home with my family last year, and a rarity happened: we all HATED it. Maybe one of us will not enjoy a movie but this one we were all groaning and checking the minutes left. It just felt like Nothing was happening and it was dragging on and on. The second time I watched it was actually later in the month, in a movie theater, with some brief acquaintances from a Women’s Group of sorts, in an attempt to make friends and the like. My mother came with but she was sitting a row behind me, a few chairs away. And I was sitting next to The Hostess and an old lady attending who couldn’t hear very well. I absolutely could Not talk, I am fully aware of theater etiquette and how much other people dislike it. So I didn’t talked. And actually? I actually liked it the second time around????? I asked my mother after and she liked it better too??????? Idk what it was, maybe it was bc we were talking over it at first for the magic of the movie theater experience but I just really liked it better. And that’s probably the closest to Christmas magic I’ve seen….okay, okay, second closest but we don’t need to get into it right here.

also, idk WHAT is going on with The Polar Express…but I think I’m messing with it. I’d need to rewatch it but I think I was a fan of…whatever was happening there <3

And ofc you can’t forget Die Har—[the Time based SAW trap I was trapped in the whole time goes off and kills me immediately for Not. shutting up.]

[hyunverse]

hehehehe ur cute. i’m so happy to hear ur day was good :)). i cry at movies too 😔. this is so embarrassing but i legit cried at the end of the sonic movie like the 2020 one … IT WAS JUST A SOFT ENDING OKAY 😔😔😔. I COULDNT HELP IT 😔😔. SAME grocery shopping is smth i always look forward to. i swear the cereal section is the best bc it’s just so bright. like everything else has such bland packaging and then the cereal section is just boom color and happy characters and cute logos like it’s just the best. THEY HAD MY FAVE PASTRYY it’s called spanakopita and it’s soooo yum. it’s a spinach and ricotta blend in this rly flakey pastry it’s so so so good. same i love them all sm. andddd let’s just say the dogs here are definitely city dogs so they’re a lot more immune ….? to odd things …? and to doing odd things ???? and their owners just aren’t even phased it’s so strange 😭

LMFAO ITS TRUE THEYRE LIKE DORITOS 😭😭 yep ik exactly what ur talking about and it’s perfffff. nothing better than some nice collarbones too. they look so delicate and kissable gahhhh. hyunjins make me dizzy. sooooo delicate and longgggg he’s so <333333333. victor 100% unreachable visual who is the blueprint. howl pendragon can come into my life and ruin it rn now pls. talk about perfect man ?? like yes bring him here pls 🙏🏼. LIKE AN ERASER 😭😭 UR LITERALLY RIGHT BC WHY R THEY SO HUGE ?? i love it tho hehe

ohhhh okay yes that makes sense, that’s so cool to think of. all the fast food in america sucks tbh 💔. i’d much rather mcdonalds from another country than whatever we have. every fast food thing here is just … boring. and expensive now so you’re better off just going somewhere else yk ? agreed i don’t customize my orders ever, but i do like to add cold foam to my coffee hehe. it’s just so rich and creamy and delish. and the machines are always “broken” bc they just don’t want to clean it 😭. they’re a pain to clean so i understand but if i want a mcflurry, i want a mcflurry 😠. andddd now i’m craving pandan leaf chicken as well <///3 so smokey and delish grrrr i love food

HYUNJIN DOES FLIRT THROUGH DANCING OMFG. he’s so perfect i actually get frustrated. like i don’t understand how someone can have that many ideal qualities and just exist. how does he live w himself knowing he is the IDEAL MAN ?? IDEK WHAT ID DO W MYSELF. FELIX IS DEFFF ACTING UP. but seeing this confidence on him is so attractive 🤭🤭🤭. i feel like that’s another thing that makes hyunes dancing so attractive bc you can tell he’s so content while doing it and how all of his moves are so articulated GAHHH i could watch him dance all day. imagine dating him and just being able to watch him practice ?? him winking at you in the mirror every now and then ohhhhh i’d pass out

i hope ur sleeping well my pretty 💗💗 kisses 4 uuuuu

- 🐈‍⬛

sonic movie??? ive never heard of anyone crying over the sonic movie T_T then again i cant judge because ive never watched it. dw bae, i cry over soft endings too. we have issues and its ok!! tbh i cry over fluff more than i cry over angst. it's just that i get so overwhelmed by the love, that it makes me sob yk? i sound insane, dont i </3 whats ur fave cereal? i love the milo crunch cereal, tastes like milo but make it cereal!!! and i googled spanakopita and omg. . .it looks mouth-watering. gonna attempt to find a place which sells them here. talking abt pastries, 'm going to a cafe with my mum tmr for breakfast, so im looking forward to that!!

anything abt hyunjin makes me dizzy tbh. the recent dancing vids of hyune 😵‍💫 hes out to get me fr fr. management pls make him stop body rolling on stage bcs it makes me sick!! (pls dont i love it when he does) HOWL IS SO PERFFFFFFF. THE MAN! i could talk about the plot of howl's moving castle for hours. i love the plot twist, how howl has been searching for sophie for years. thats true love right there! also jeongin hand pics has been all over my fyp come save me!! save me from this monstrosity.

the american slander 😭cmere bae i'll take u to a mcdonalds 🙏i'll give you all the mcflurrys you want. its always available here <333 now im craving for an oreo mcflurry omg... and pandan leaf chicken zzz

STOP FEEDING INTO MY DELUSIONS, MY LOVE. WHY ARE YOU PUTTING SUCH THOUGHTS INTO MY HEAD? i want hyunjin to give me a private show (not in an nsfw way i swear) he looks so enchanting on stage, i'd love to sit in front of him, alone with him and just watch him dance. he puts so much thought and emotion in his movements, it's amazing how he could do that all while ensuring every move is precise. making it all look easy is also one thing. oh the winks would be the death of me. i feel like he'd cling on u right after too <333 will ask for lil reward kisses after practise <3 did u see the vid of felix lifting his shirt up to make people scream for muddy water? hes in his hot guy and he knows it era. love it for him 🙏

also, today, seungmin and felix went live. i got to watch it and it was so chaotic T_T it was them attempting to make candy but failing at doing so </3 i mean what did we expect from them tbh.

hope ur day is going well, sweet darling. thousand of kisses for u <333!!

[angelnumber27]

Ok so bear with me (if you care lol)

This includes some offensive shit that I really toned down for this post bc it was that bad so.. tw abuse tw racism tw xenophobia idek what else to add it’s just bad

This is how it started (talking while eating dinner)

Me: I like having a phone bc you can learn so many things

Dad: YEAH LIKE THINGS THAT ARENT TRUE

YOU BASE YOUR WHOLE LIFE OFF OF WHAT YOU READ ON THAT PHONE

me (very calmly): you do the same thing. You live your life and base your ideals on your little radio talk show you listen to all day and Fox News (he rly is a brainwashed ass…) He then got silent for about three minutes I guess out of rage????? and then was like YOU BETTER NOT EVER QUESTION ME OR MY KNOWLEDGE ON HOW THR WORLD WORKS EVER AGAIN IVE BEEN HERE WAY LONGER THAN YOU I KNOW MORE THAN YOU (blah blah blah it went on and on hahahaha)

He screamed YOU ALWAYS FUCKING SIDE WITH THE BAD GUY!!!!!!!

I said someone having a different opinion than you do should not bother you this much it’s weird

And he said “You always have the same opinion though!” And I was like yea so do you, and I don’t scream at you for being a racist abusive disgusting piece of shit (didn’t say the stuff past the word you bc I would have been probably punched in the face or had a glass plate thrown at my head as hard as possible from two feet away or worse but boy was I thinking it)

anyways lmao i said “I literally have to sit there silently and say nothing every time you try to start a conflict and a huge fight and freak out at me because if I say ANYTHING you lose it” (I stg even just on regular days in regular conversations this man goes out of his way to try to create conflict and initiate a fight every damn time)

And he just continued with the absolutely disgusting bullshit about how I’m always wrong and always siding with “the bad guys” (homeless people, minorities, lgbt people, disabled people, people who need government assistance, mentally ill people, addicts, people who wore masks even when the pandemic was at its worst, people who got vivid shots, immigrants, Palestinians, anything even slightly liberal in general etc etc etc etc)

I was basically overall just like I don’t understand why you take it as a personal attack when someone has their own opinion. I said a lot of immigrants come here to make better lives for their families back home and then I said something about how fentanyl and meth are already here and it’s not just coming from Mexico and he got all angry and was like DONT FUCKING DEFEND THOSE PEOPLE. IMMIGRANTS HAVE RUINED OUR COUNTRY!

I literally was like jfc dude calm down and walked away

Then while I walked away he threatened to kick me out so I could “be homeless or find a place where they believe the same bullshit as me”

I think I’m just gonna go nonverbal for a while. Feels like the best route to take rn. If I don’t speak he can’t twist my words and try to say he’s being attacked 🫠

can I rant about my dumbass bigot father real quick