#he’s himbo-ing

[waltzing-rats]

OK I CAME ACROSS THIS TUMBLR POST AND HEAR ME OUT; A moment where Eira sees a siren (Lorelei related ? Idk) and this happens with Flint. Are you picking up what im putting down. Hurt/comfort shenanigans ensue

[busanboykoo]

Champagne Confetti ⋆ j.jk

summary ⋆ “you won't regret me, champagne confetti” or maybe just jungkook wants you to tell him what you want him to do to you.

pairing ⋆ racer!jk x reader

genre ⋆ smüt, a little plot, fluff?

warning ⋆ püssy whipped!himbo!kook, they’re so in lovvve but jungkook is much more in love!! fingëring, reader is pathetically horny, messy make out with reader’s püssy, puthay eating. squirting??? lover jungkook always, cüssing & overstimulation oh and mention of his brow piercing cause why not?!!

notes ⋆ ok so i just got back to writing smut aaand it’s been a while so wait for me until i improvise back to what i used to right!! and also a huge thanks to clover lover @dollfaceksj for beta-ing ⭐️ ily!! thank u sm <3 — word count ⋆ 2.5k !!

“I want you.”

These three words were the one that put you under this situation.

Right under him as he settled himself between your legs. Everything about now felt hot. The AC is on full power but the heat you’re feeling is hotter than anything.

Your brows are cinched when Jungkook places his hand on your thighs, the rough skin of his palm on your soft skin smoothly, pressing and kneading on the flesh. He is comfortably kneeling between your legs, his control face now relaxed.

“Tell me what you want.” His eyes flick between yours and down to your exposed and soaked panties in return, biting on his scarlet lips. Your skin feels tingly, your forehead beginning to create a sheen of sweat. Your room is getting hotter and hotter and the AC is not helping at all.

You’re so quiet, not even sounding like the minx you were mere seconds ago. “C’mon, baby,” Jungkook encourages, wanting to hear you loud and clear for him.

You want him. You want everything all at once.

You still can’t erase the memories of him racing half an hour ago. How his skillful hand gripped the wheel, how his thighs flexed as he controlled the gas pedal or how he kept his jaw clenched and eyes focused on the foggy road with a stern yet soft, ‘hold on tight’ when he sped up before drifting for the hundredth time.

The ‘whoo-hoo’s and applause from both of your racer friends and their partners was a bonus — and him winning first place made you want him to do every sinful thing to you.

You want Jungkook so bad all over your skin. Want him to kiss you, want him to bite on your skin, bruise you with weeks-lasting love bites. You can’t just fathom the need that’s circulating through your blood.

A soft squeeze on your ankle makes your thoughts focus on Jungkook again, who is staring at you with need and desire. “Speak up, baby. Need to know what’s going on inside that pretty head of yours,” he taunts.

“You’ll do what I want?” Your voice is barely audible for you, airy with lust. You’re feeling the wetness of your own cunt between your thighs and you’re one-hundred percent sure Jungkook can spot the dark spot on your panties beneath your skirt.

Jungkook just gives you an eager nod.

“I’ll do whatever you want,” he whispers while leaning to give you a soft but calculated peck on your lips. “Just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.” He sounds so confident, smirking against your lips when your breathy whimper surfaces out.

Jungkook always likes being on top. He makes weird excuses saying he wants to see how pretty you are when you break under him. He’s just whipped to see you in pleasure, fighting to fill your lungs with air and crying when you cum.

“Wa-want you to touch me.” You don’t like how your voice cracks, making Jungkook’s stupid smirk grow more. You’re so pathetic when you’re horny.

You hate it. He loves it.

“Touch you where?” he asks, coaxing his head a little. Oh, so, he’s teasing?

“Jeon, please.” You blink, your throat drying up without even getting started. “Need you s’much, I want to feel you!” Your voice raises to a higher pitch.

Jungkook thinks you’re very lucky he is way too needy or it’s would have ended up making you cry just by torturing and teasing. So, Jungkook pushes your legs further apart, making himself much more comfortable.

“Gonna start all the way from here.” He presses his finger against your covered clit, adding pressure. Your legs twitch, almost closing but his body stills you. “How about that?”

You just give him a weak nod, too overwhelmed from the sudden touch against your sensitive spot.

Jungkook starts to slide up and down your clothed pussy, making your panties grind against your folds, his index finger now coated with your arousal. “Words, pretty girl.”

You mewl when he adds even more pressure.

“Yes, please,” you moan, head falling back against your pillow.

Jungkook swallows the urge to just undress you and fuck you sensless. He needs to get you ready so he won’t hurt you. But mostly, he wants to taste you first. And so, your boyfriend removes his jacket from his body and tosses it somewhere across the room.

Latching his fingers from your sex, making you cry and annoyed with the sudden disappearance of his touch and your pleasure. “This needs to go.” He runs his fingers to your hips before he tugs your panties and skirt down to your ankle, chuckling when you quickly push them off, before tossing them aside by yourself.

“Easy, baby. I’m not going anywhere without making you cum,” he states, getting back to where he left you.

This time he doesn’t tease you, he just keeps your gaze locked with his as he settles himself between your legs on his stomach and drapes your left leg on his shoulder. He pushes your other leg further before pinning it with his strong grip.

You take a deep breath, ready to be blown to the sky and see the stars he wants you to. He starts kissing your inner thigh, his eyes still locked with yours.

“Jeon,” you threaten, wanting him to stop his silly games and finally go down on you. But your boyfriend just giggles, eyes squinting and brow piercing twitching.

“But it’s so fun to see you like this,” he persists, making your chest tighten with impatience.

“I swear, Jun— aah!” Your threat is short-lived when Jungkook wraps his lips around your pearl, making you jolt forward and almost sit up.

Starting off gently, his wet muscle just presses against your clit, not moving but just letting his saliva smear and trail its way to your pussy.

“Hmm, move.” You don’t understand why he won’t listen to you. He asked what you wanted and now that you’ve told him, he decides to pull this stunt?

Jungkook just watches you with a knitted brows, his jaw tensing from the position he’s set now. He decides it’s enough and starts to move his tongue in an ‘eight’ motion. You spread your thighs wider, silently begging for him to give you the pleasure you want.

He leans back, admiring how your slit leaks. You prop up by your elbows and your cheeks start to heat up when Jungkook just stares at your sex.

“No,” he says when you start to close your legs, feeling shy all over again. “Keep ‘em open.” He brings his index and middle to your folds before parting them, exposing your cunt to him.

“You’re staring weird!” You try to defend, attempting to swing your legs off his shoulders but he’s fast enough to roughly pull you back by your ankle and pin the other back.

“No. I'm admiring what’s mine.”

His words reach your ears and it makes you mentally roll your eyes. You want to play who-said-so but you also don’t want to end up being left without a blinding orgasm pending.

“Kook, please, that’s enoug–” You can’t even finish your words again when he’s back at your leaking sex. Rougher, more eager.

“Oh, God.” Your back arches, making Jungkook’s suction on your pussy disrupt which causes him to groan. You swear you can see the stars on the back of your eyelids now. He roughly pushes your body down by your pelvis and huffs a ‘stay still’ before grinding his nose into your sensitive folds.

Jungkook makes his way down to your slit, his tongue circling your tight hole. Your short but deep breath has his dick twitching under his leather pants, making the fabric even tighter than it is.

“Yes, yes! Yes, please, Kook.” Your gasping voice only makes it harder for him. His hand, the one that was pinning your leg to the bed, slides down to palm himself.

“Mhm.” He moans to your cunt and you cry out, your fingers tangled in your hair, trying to distract yourself from the sudden stimulation but it ends with you giving yourself even more pleasure.

He brings his hand from his pants right back to your sopping sex, fingers replacing what he couldn’t get in his mouth, sucking and fucking you both with his skillful mouth and finger.

This is extreme, everything becomes too much. More than what you can take. “Jungkook,” you sigh, throat drying up much more and only silent mewls leaving your lips.

“This what you wanted?” he asks, middle finger circling your entrance. “This all you wanted or still want more?” He’s so good with his words, it makes you cave.

You sound so brittle when you speak and Jungkook bites his lips to sustain the moan. “You’re gonna give up on me, baby?” he asks, making your nipple ache underneath your bra. “I haven’t fucked you probably yet and you’re gonna pass out?” It’s like he’s boo-ing you.

“N-no.” You try to catch your breath.

“No?”

“No.”

Jungkook grins, he’s gonna fuck you up.

Your eyes squeeze shut when he pushes to digits at once. “That’s it, yeaaah.” He places a kiss on your nub as a reward, and it is indeed a reward.

“Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!” Your voice is sharp and thin when you cry, tears filling your waterline and rolling down your temples. “Kook!” you cry out when he’s knuckles deep like he’s searching for something that’s his.

“You can take it, they’re just my fingers.” You’re in the middle of losing your life and he says that. For fucks sake. “Fuck, you’re so tight.” Jungkook interjects and starts moving his fingers. He pulls them out to the tip of his fingers then pushes them back deep to the hilt.

“Shoulda brought the vibrator today,” he gruffly says and if it wasn’t for his fingers buried in you, you would have given him a sassy eye roll. “Wish you could see your face, you’re so pretty.” He leans in again, giving your pussy a wet smooch so loud that it fills the room with a wet kissing sound.

Nothing like this was planned today but now look at you, under him, withering away.

Your hands shake as you try to find anything to hold on to that could help you brace yourself from the orgasm that’s approaching you. “Jung— Jungko…?!” You’re wailing at this point, crying and yelling at the same time.

Jungkook’s nose flares as his hand picks up its pace, making a ‘come here’ motion that has you on edge. “You’re gonna cum,” he tells you as if it’s not obvious, helping you by securing your shaking hand and bringing it to his hair. “Hold on to me.”

He’s going to fucking kill you.

“I’m gonna… I’m gon— hgnh!” you grunt, eyes screwed shut and pulling on Jungkook’s locks. “I’m here, hold on to me.” If it wasn’t for your own boyfriend cradling your legs and restraining them, you would’ve kicked him in his face and bruised him badly.

Your lungs tighten once again and stars explode behind your closed eyelids as your orgasm washes over you.

The worst part is — Jungkook hasn't pulled his fingers out yet. “No, please, Jungkook, it's too much!” You try to sit up, hands leaving his hair and wrapping around his wrist.

“Jungkook, I just came, it’s too much. I can’t.”

But your whines fall upon deaf ears.

“One more.” He is determined to pull one more out of you but you just shake your head. “Please, baby, one more and then I’ll stop.”

You moan when he repeatedly curls his fingers in your pussy and something inexplicable in you bubbles this time. Nothing like before.

“Stop, wait…” Your sweaty fingers on Jungkook’s wrist try to remove his hand from your aching cunt but he just shoves your hand away from him. And that reminds you how you almost forget that he is much stronger than you.

“Stop pushing me away,” he grunts this time, finger fucking you tougher than he ever has. You’re practically shaking whole. “You asked for it, so take it—”

You can’t make out what he says after that, your ears ringing louder and eyes blinded by the orgasm that hits you.

“Fuuuck,” Jungkook moans, keeping his hand buried inside you, slowing his pace when you cum. You’re not aware of anything until he pulls them out of you.

“Didn’t know you could do that.” He ogles at his shining fingers, your arousal drenching his fingers down to his knuckle and making a mini pool in his palm.

It takes you a hot solid minute for your eyes to clear, tears subsiding and now hearing what’s around you neat. You prop on your elbows and watch his doe eyes stare at his fingers then back at you before chuckling, truly amazed.

“You squirted all over me, baby.” You can’t help but give him a broken smile. “And I did that,” he adds, proud that he caused this mess.

“Looks like a fucking champagne confetti.” With your silence taking over again and your whole face and chest burning, your boyfriend shows you his hand as if you don’t believe him. “You don’t believe me? Look.”

Your eyes widen, cheeks warming up once again. “Kook, stop!” you whine and his laugh echoes through your bedroom wall.

Right after you both subside from your laughs, you watch Jungkook bring your skirt from the floor and wipe the mess you made — your slick nectar all over his nose to his chin. Even on the ends of his dark bangs, causing a few strands to stick to his forehead.

Once he’s down, your boyfriend lifts himself up and you can’t help but notice the bulge under his leather pants. You start to shift your spot from the bed but stop when you hear him ask, “What’re you doing?”

You don’t speak much, glancing down to the tent below his pelvis. “It’s fine, you should rest.” He smiles, leaning and touching your cheek stained with dried up tears.

“But—”

Jungkook just shakes his head. “It’s fine, princess, I’ll go take a shower and deal with it.”

You frown, get up from the bed and rise to your feet before you wiggle yourself out of your top. You catch Jungkook staring at you shamelessly.

“You know, I’m so lucky to have you.” He starts to pull his cum-drenched shirt from his body. “You’re so fucking pretty and sexy, it’s crazy.” Jungkook admits he just fell in love all over again when he sees you like this — bare and naked in front of him.

“Let’s go shower.” You stick your hand out for him to take and he happily intertwines his fingers with yours before tugging you into the bathroom, you giggling like an idiot and Jungkook grinning like a moron.

And well, let’s just say, the night didn’t end like that, with a simple shower, but an intense fuck session under the shower’s faucet.

© busanboykoo — 031023 | thank you for reading!

[dmc-tings]

Dating Headcanons: Dante

Himbo alert (but you know that already)

Pizza and beer dates. No whining, you let him pick

He actually likes it when you pick dates

He still goes on and on about the amusement park, you took him too

Is man child, so if he's not hunting, eating or sleeping, he gets pretty bored

Don't tell anyone, but he loves coloring books

A set of markers and/or crayons and a coloring book and he's set for hours

No puzzles tho, his attention span is pretty short

Tends to seek you out alot, in the shop mostly

Very handsy, but respects any boundaries you set with him

Just tell him "no" or "stop", in a serious tone

Homie needs to be told stuff seriously

But he's very thoughtful and romantic

He saw his parents like that and wants to be like his dad was with his mother

Treats you to sweet little dates (when it's safe to)

Like, he takes you to Freddy's and will order a large Strawberry sundae to split or a large pizza (no olives)

Due to being touch starved, he gets like a big ol puppy

And will follow you just about anywhere

The king of PDA

Will touch you, hold your hand, put his hsnd in your back pocket, hand on your lower back, smooches you in public, walks around with his arms around you

And if you let him, he'll give you piggyback rides

Is hesitant after he ran through a door way and you got concussed

Feels bad TM

Also: BELLY RUBS

You did it once while he was in his Devil Trigger

Happy growls

And now you're job, aside from baby-ing him is belly rubs

Big, tall and Dumb, but lovable

My not so grand return. The Requests are open. Uh see pinned post for the masterlist. It's mostly what I'm ok with writing.

[bitchimasnake-sss]

"i thought you got possessed-" ft. luffy!

ft. luffy x fem!reader

set-up: you're pms-ing and he is such a dumbass. but that doesn't mean he isn't out here being the bestest boy ever. (please excuse his dumbassery, he was dropped on his head as a child)

warnings: none! very wholesome lol

- please dont get confused, this man has no idea how periods work - like how is it humanly possible for you to bleed and then stay alive and kicking? seems made up tbh - one eventful evening (before you both started dating), you and nami had to sit him down and give him a long-ass biology lesson, explaining what the whole phenomenon is, what pms-ing is and yada-yada - before this, he firmly believed that every once a while a demon possessed you all (and he saw absolutely no issue with that, what a fucking icon) "ohhh" he's laughing, "so that's what it is? i thought you guys like got possessed" "excuse me?" nami's on the verge to hit him in the head again and you're wondering if the constant hits are the reason luffy's braincells are (half) dead "i see, i see. i get it now" - he lied, he still doesn't quite get it - but its fine - so, it is just another random tuesday and (post-dating) you know syou love luffy. but holy shit, if he yelled "YN DOLPHIN!! LOOK LOOK A DOLPHIN! SUGEEEEEE" and giggled again, you might yell at him. you really do love him but if he stole your food one more time, you're convinced you might smack him too. "luffy" your voice was unusually low, devoid of any warmth, "stop that." "whatt" he whined, grinning afterwards as he scooped up more food from your plate "luffy. i said STOP IT." your voice rose higher and silence hung uncomfortably over the dinner table - luffy just looks at you dumbfounded - the way you're fisting your hand on the table and looking at him has the crew afraid that youre gonna murder the captain in cold blood - well, i mean ur considering the possibility too, so, you mumble a half-ass apology and return back to your room to be alone - lying against the soft sheets, you can smell the citrus detergent and oh boy, now you feel guilty - i mean god, that's luffy, that was nothing out of the ordinary for him. why did you yell at him? fuck, are you a horrible girlfriend?? - oh boy, now the tears are welling up too - "yn?" luffy whispers as he slips into the room, closing the door behind him and now you're really crying - i mean look at him, why did you yell at him? - "im so sorry, i don't know why i yelled at you, that was so shitty of me-" "hey, it's okay" he's hugging you tight, "you did nothing wrong, i can be a little bit dumb sometimes. i should have not taken your food" "what? no, i am not mad about that. i, i dunno-" you sniff, "maybe i'm just pms-ing?" "huh??" - took a while for him to remember but now that you've jogged up his memory, he looks so guilty, so, he spends the entire evening apologizing and offering you food, he even promises that he wouldn't point out dolphins every time he sees them (you had to reassure him that he can continue doing that)

- but now onwards, this lovely himbo tries to keep in check what he's saying, often giving you a lingering look as if asking "this is fine right?"

- but now you've got your personal defender!! - ussop made a joke and you're not laughing (because it wasn't that funny tbh) and luffy is ready to smack ussop and tell him to "not annoy" you. zoro is being dumb and luffy can see it on your face that he's pissing you off lowkey, so, he will actually tell zoro to not be a dick - mf just starts picking up fights left and right for your sake and now you have to give him another long ass lesson to make it stop - ps: he does not stop. - this man turns into a chihuahua, anything bothering you must be struck down. - very, very observant from now on too. he needs to make sure you're feeling good - also asked sanji to make your favourite desert - he just loves you so much and wants you to be as comfortable as possible (still doesn't know how female anatomy works though-)

a/n: omg i luv him such a dumbass

zoro's link <3 sanji's link <3

[buttercuparry]

Again people, as much as I love to call Joe a himbo, as much as I groan at the screen when he is being a himbo, I have to say that Joe agreeing to spend time with Ming is not a part of his himbo routine. He is not jumping back into an intimate relationship with Ming because he is dickmatized or whatever. He is taking a job. It is as simple as that.

So calling Joe stupid because of this, or saying that we can't save Joe if he is so eager to run head fast into old patterns, is a disservice to the character arc.

Throughout this episode we see Joe saying that he promised he wouldn't be a stand in for Tong again but he needs money for Mrs Ing's treatment. We saw it in the previous episode too. Money is very much a factor in the universe and Joe feels it acutely. So he swallows his pride and rushes to the set even when Joy tells him that Tong has no need for him anymore.

When he tucks Ming into bed, for a moment he felt fond but then he quickly shook himself out of that stupor. Because it doesn't matter whom Ming misses: be it Joe who was Tong's stand-in or Joe the person. Joe, who is Mrs Ing's son cannot entertain any of that anymore.

So the ending that we saw today, was not Joe falling back into Ming. It was Joe setting a boundary in a job. Because that's what he did. He took to sex work to provide for his "adopted" mom. Yes he was upset initially because he thought Ming wanted him as Tong's stand in again. But then the reality of his situation won out. The money owed to the debt collectors, the bills for daily dialysis won out. So Joe rushed out and set his terms before Ming, he set his terms before it could get out of his control again ( Ming's "I get what I want"). Joe took control and setled the deal with 5 million baht and a house for Mrs Ing. He didn't readily take Ming's money while rejecting Wut and Sol's help. With all three of them Joe said the same thing: give me a job and I will earn what I need to for my mom.

[suzukiblu]

Ko-fi thank-you sentences for an anon behind the cut; mistaken identities and interdimensional refugees. ( chrono || non-chrono )

But why the fuck is Alfred calling him– 

“Sorry for the wait, Mr. Wayne, your local self thought it might be for the best not to come in-person! You wanted to avoid a fuss. I mean–he wanted to avoid a fuss,” Rita says brightly, looking sheepish, and Kon remembers, very abruptly, everything she’d said about Gotham tabloids and also the fact that she’d “recognized” him after he’d scooped up a traumatized kid who was calling him “Dad” and then, uh–well, flirted with her. And also literally every single story he has ever heard about Clark and Bruce successfully passing for each other, in costume and out. 

Well . . . shit. 

Well, that definitely means the local Bruce Wayne is out Batman-ing his way through the current interdimensional crisis. But also, what the fuck has Kon just gotten them into? Jon seems to just be rolling with it, thank fuck, but there's no way Alfred Pennyworth actually believes he's a version of Bruce Wayne. 

. . . does he? 

No, no, he definitely doesn't. Interdimensional bullshit aside, it’s Alfred. He's just a really good liar and a trained actor with a flawless poker face. Alfred lies better than Tim lies, for fuck's sake, which is goddamn saying something. So Kon might end up a little mortified later when he's admitting he got mistaken for an alternate version of Gotham’s number one airheaded himbo DILF Brucie Wayne by an aid worker, but . . . 

Well. He doesn't even know who he'd be admitting that to, at this point. 

He doesn't know if he'll ever . . . 

“The car is just down the block, sir,” Alfred says, and Kon tells himself he can do this. He always does, doesn’t he? He can handle his own shit and he'll take care of Jon and go meet the local Batman, apparently, and then embarrass himself explaining how this happened to him, and maybe . . . maybe the local Tim will be there. 

It won't be his Tim, but right now he just really wants to see his face, one way or the other. He's not gonna be picky about which “Tim” he's actually seeing. 

“Cool,” he says, trying not to sound too screamingly not-Gotham. He seriously doubts he manages it, though. He’s no good at the voice-mimicking trick Clark does and even if he was, it wouldn’t exactly be subtle to start doing it now. 

He and Jon say goodbye to the kids, who make a lot of very kid-like disappointed noises, and Kon suggests another game for them to distract themselves with–one that won’t require a technical adult running it–and then Rita’s got some paperwork for him and Alfred to both fill out and sign, and a couple other aid workers rubber-stamp them through, and absolutely no one asks to see his ID or even for a second doubts that he’s a version of Bruce Wayne. Except–hopefully–Alfred, anyway. 

Kon seriously cannot tell for fuck either way, the man might as well be a promethium wall. At this point he’s just counting on Alfred’s weird all-knowingness bailing him out here. Worst case scenario is explaining himself, obviously, but if he doesn’t exist here . . . 

Well, “Lex Luthor made me” is probably not a great start, with most Batmans. Especially after going to see said Batman under what is, technically, false pretenses. Like–obviously Alfred wouldn’t have come out in the middle of an interdimensional emergency for Conner Kent; he showed up here expecting a younger version of his boss. 

Probably would’ve come for Jon, he guesses, if only as a favor to the local Clark, since the guy’s presumably distracted figuring out how many dangerous strangers are currently in their reality with the Justice League, but still. 

Then again, for all Kon knows, the local Luthor is dead or irrelevant or a selflessly benevolent saint who feeds orphan puppies on the weekend, so who the fuck knows. 

Kon cannot actually imagine Luthor ever even existing in the same room as a puppy without it knowing well enough to piss on his fancy leather shoes, but look, alternate realities include the word “alternate” in them for a reason. Like, the word “alternate” is very much the operative word there. 

If nothing else, the local puppies might just be stupid. 

Kon’s not really a dog person, personally. Krypto doesn’t count, on account of being an alien and therefore not an actual dog. The first Krypto he knew was an actual dog, though, and they just did not vibe whatsoever.

He and Alfred sign the last couple papers. Kon fakes Bruce Wayne’s signature because he’s spent enough time in Wayne Manor to know the difference between that and his autograph, and thanks fuck that the eidetic memory finally kicked in last year. Seriously, it is such bullshit it took that long for him to get it, considering Clark and Luthor both have one. 

Alfred doesn’t actually react to the signature, but Kon does notice him noticing it. 

Probably what he’s noticing is that it’s not the same signature that his Bruce Wayne used in his early twenties, because there’s no way that hasn’t changed in twenty-odd years. 

Rita smiles at them and sees them all off happily with some reference numbers and exchanged contact information, and they don’t say anything on the way to the car. Kon keeps carrying Jon, which maybe isn’t normal human behavior, especially for someone who’s supposed to be passing for a ditzy socialite who allegedly only has vanity muscles as opposed to actually functional ones, but Kon kind of doesn’t care about that right now. Like, not even slightly does Kon care about that right now. 

Alfred leads them to a shiny black towncar and opens the door for them, and Kon gives him a nod of thanks and bundles Jon into the thing. Jon sniffles once, and kinda of clings to him a little. Kon figures it’s fair. He was never “ten” himself, obviously, but it seems like a rough age to put up with this kind of bullshit during. Like–definitely it does. 

“You’re good, kid,” he swears, less because it’s a promise and more because it’s something he’s gonna make happen, squeezing the kid’s shoulder the way Clark always does when he’s doing the reassuring thing. “I’ve got you. I’m with you. Okay?” 

“Okay,” Jon says, sniffling again and scrubbing an arm across his eyes. “Um. Sorry.” 

“Don’t sweat it, Jonno,” Kon says, and Jon’s face crumples for a moment before he visibly steels himself and nods. Kon squeezes his shoulder again, then gets into his own seat and buckles himself in more out of the habit of trying to pass for human while in civvies than to actually, like, need to be buckled in. TTK kind of cancels out the risk of getting tossed around a car in an accident, and he’s invulnerable on top of that, plus the super-speed, so . . . yeah. Definitely car accidents are not a concern. 

He really wants to help this kid. He wants to at least get him to the local Clark, if nothing else. Like–if they all get stuck here, or there’s nowhere else for them to go . . . 

Well, it’d take a pretty different Clark than the one he’s used to not to want to take in any version of Jon, so as long as this reality actually has a Clark . . . 

Well, Kon’s probably not gonna be watching the kid long, in that case.

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝐸𝑦𝑒 𝑂𝑓 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑆𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑚

Part 1

Aether, after witnessing the most bizarre things in the whole world when no one else did and was often watched with slacked jaws at how he could still be alive, couldn't help but look at himself and then the taller, blue haired man before him with a blank stare.

Did he look like a stupid boy?

"You don't expect me to believe in this, right? Even Y/N says more logical things-"

"Paimon wants to disagree! Wanting to adopt slimes and petting hilichurls even though they don't attack Y/N but only us is no good thing!"

Yeah... That happened, BUT! In your defence, those slimes were cutely nudging your leg with a smile and one of them even offered a pretty-shaped, shiny rock to you as a gift! ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

( And most of the "New recipes" you learnt were from the Hilichurls, who suprisingly made amazing food and didn't attack you but... patted your hair? Even braided it even if it was a tiny one??Sat with you and ate whatever you cooked?? You though they were not that smart, according to what Aether told you but now, you strongly disagreed! They were great companions! Aether didn't know that you already befriended most of them and learnt their recipes, and you intended it to be this way hehe ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡ God knew what their reactions would be and that was enough to make you want to spill the beans while smiling cheekily)

"Hmm? What's that cheerful face you are making, you think I'm making this up?"

Kaeya: ಠ⁠ω⁠ಠ, Aether: ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

Duh, so much so as being discreet Aether ರ⁠_⁠ರ

Kaeya, as the man who often hides his true feelings and thoughts behind a flirty and careless attitude, whined and pointed to his eye-patch with a pout

"Look at my eye-patch! It's a heirloom from my grandfather, It's a solid proof that we are blood related! Let's ask your friend what they think!"

Home boy was so sure you would side with hım just to annoy your companions LoL 😝

"Okay... Hey Y/N, is having an eye-patch a hereditary things?!"

*cue you looking around like a dog trying to determine where you were being called suddenly while cradling the PRETTIEST jewelry you had ever seen, zero-ing on to your friends up near the headquarters of the Knights*

"Nah, whoever says that bullshit is one hell of a Himbo and stupid!"

(did you... just call my precious main "a stupid Himbo"?? ಠ⁠ಗ⁠ಠ)

The Second Trait Aether Loved The Most About You: Brutal Honesty

It hurt whenever you said exactly what's in your mind okay?? ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ

That's why you toned it down, especially for Aether and Paimon, even if sarcasm was your love language... NO LONGER SAD AETHER AND PAIMON!

Now though, as they stared at Kaeya who was trying to hide his embrassment... It was only a source of joy for them

"My, my I didn't know that friend of yours had such a... brutal honesty." *Crying internally and trying to piece his shattered ego back together all the while pretending like it didn't hurt*

As much as Paimon was delighted to see the embrassment on Kaeya's face, since for once she wasn't the one on the receiving end of your honest remarks, she... wondered something none of the males did as she stared at your form down near the entrance of the city where you were waving excitedly at her with earrings on your other hand, purchasing them and speedwalking to where they were and slightly panting from the amount of running you had been doing.

Paimon turned to look at Aether from her shoulders with a confused face, pointing with her tiny finger to your form as the boy still didn't look at her

"Uh... Aether, how was Y/N able to hear us down there?", "Down there? What do you mean they were just... here..."

Aether was once again shocked to his core as he leaned over the balcony and stared at your form which was ... way too far away from where they were. Seriously, how did you hear him? You said you didn't have any powers!

And what gained your attention again?

"Hi! You know what, this place is amazing! I hadn't felt that alive in a long time! So... Where is the person who thinks eye-patch is heredi-" you exclaimed happily as you stepped up on the opening where the three were, playing with the shiny stones you got and the necklace you for for yourself while not holding back from insulting whoever that person was. Even those adults in your world was much smarter than that! But as often as it happened to you, you failed to take a look at the person who said that and see him and make the biggest mistake of your life...

By not realizing the hottest person you had ever seen in your entire life.

Was he really that handsome in the game too? The graphics surely didn't do enough justice to the gorgeous sight before you.

He was taller than you imagined, with those cool and perhaps exquisite clothing alongside the clinking sound his vision made against his leg. But perhaps,the tanned skin and with navy blue hair with lighter streaks waswhat made him even more cute in your eyes. Yes he was hot, obviously, but as he was looking at you with that teasing yet welcoming eyes of his... He looked so damn cute!

How could he both be masculine and feminine?! Why the hell did I fall for him as soon as I entered the city? No wonder he is "the top candidate for grandson-in-law"... *dreamy looks at him while planning 20 years from now on*

Kaeya, unknowingly but also having a gutfeeling about your flustered state at his body, bowed down slightly as he took a hold of your hand and kissed the back of it with that charming, side smile of his and let his lips linger there for a moment to watch your blush deepen slowly.

"It would be me, my lady/lord, I hope I didn't disappoint you with being... a stupid Himbo, I believe?" *Catsmiling at you with that flirtitous voice and rubs your knuckles*

*blushing while looking at the said person who cocked a surprised eyebrow at you who was blushing and looking at him- and the chest window obviously-with an open mouth, clearly down bad for him*

"Here we go again..." Aether, who definetly wasn't jealous of the sight before him and blushing at how intimate it somehow looked, facepalmed at yet once again... your attention being taken by a hot person. He only hoped that wouldn't occur again because he really didn't know what to do to get you away from them since you cried softly at being "seperated" from your true love or whatever.

*spoiler alert: it would only get worse as each day went by hehe*

"I'm surprised you didn't know such common knowledge, darling... Name is Kaeya Alberich, the Cavalry Captain. At your service."

"More like we are at your service!", "Stop flirting with my friend, Captain." A jealous Aether and Paimon exclaiming angrily with a hmph and you turned to look at the taller one with a quirked eye brow.

And absolutely confused at what was going on.

Can a person not have some fantasy world where they can live with the Prince charming for a little while? Why were they acting-

"Aww, are you jealous? Don't worry, you two will always be my favourite person!"

Aether: *smug smirks while being hugged to your chest* Paimon:* holds onto your sleeve as you pat her softly, also smug smirks* Kaeya: *defeated yet makes a new plan to gain your attention back*

Aaand that was how your first meeting went by. You having a raging attraction on Kaeya, him both flirting with you and trying his best to stay strong at your honest comments, Aether tugging on your sleeve to get you away from him (jealousy who?) and Paimon... Begging for food.

Except, all you three got was a mission... even if you also agreed with Paimon with needing food.

"You know what? We can use an ice blade to kill them and later put them out in the wild! That way, the sun would melt the ice and the murder weapon would be poof!" ☺️😁

Paimon: EEEEHHH?! (⁠‘⁠◉⁠⌓⁠◉⁠’⁠) 😳😨😧

Aether: (⁠´⁠⊙⁠ω⁠⊙⁠`⁠) "Please don't handcuff me, I don't know them." and Kaeya: (⁠✷⁠‿⁠✷⁠) "I found my friend!"

Aether was so sure that he could end up in some kind of jail, just by listening to you say this shit but... well, you were his bestie, he had to roll with it.

"Don't you feel... I don't know, even slightly disturbed at the way your mind works sometimes?", " Half of my intrusive thoughts are 'Stab yourself with that knife.' while the other half is 'Stab that person with the knife.' What do you think?" ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

Kaeya, ASF: Note to future self, don't anger the one with Aether *writes down, mentally scared and sweating*

"Sooo... what's in that treasure? Gold?" *Huge gasp* "Maybe even better, jewelries!" You side-eyed Paimon harshly while rolling your eyes. Sometimes, she really forgot that none of you were much of jewelry people and that she shouldn't get too excited over a "suspicious mission".

"The only jewelry you wear is a hairclip."

"Paimon thinks you are being a meanie- Oh, what's that pretty flower in your pocket Y/N?" Aether slapped his forehead for what seemed like the hundreth time at Paimon, who much like you was easy to loose her track, but still raised a brow at you, just like Kaeya who also eyed the slightly peeking flower in your pocket.

And the sight made him almost choke on air, as his eyes slowly drifted up and he finally looked into your eyes.

Star-shaped ones, much like his, staring right at him with wonder... Face flush with embarrasment and running, all alive and lively, without a worry or a simple knowledge about the significance of your eyes and... the five petaled flower, four white and one blue, you held between your lithe fingers with a soft smile.

And with one look at your glimmering eyes, came another set of headaches to him and you. One that he wasn't able to conceal and groaned in pain, but you did behind a kind smile.

"I'm not so sure... A girl came up to me, just before I came here, and told me that a man in a dark armor, blonde hair and a mask wanted her to give this to me." You shrugged your shoulders noncholantly as your eyes stayed fixed on the pretty flower. Even while playing, and watching some edits about the game, you have never seen such flower except on Lumine's hair. The flower almost seemed like a stone, so dull and colorless though there was some sparkles when you touched its petals. Maybe it was because the flower was away from its homeland, as cliche and naive as it was...You didn't know where it came from or what was the meaning of it, but for some reasons...

The flower made you feel nostalgic and left you longing for... something.

What was it? Why couldn't you exactly say it? Why were you not bothered or slightly scared that someone gave you flowers in a world unkown to you? Why would someone fancy you at the same day you came to Mondstadt? Who was that man?

"I wish I saw them... It's so unrealistic that someone would-"

"It looks like the one on my sister's hair..." your attention was immediately on Aether and how sad he looked. Your heart broke for him, while scolding yourself for straying from your real mission on hand which was getting somehow a clue about his sister, and as the caring and motherly person you were...

You hugged him thightly to yourself. He was a "cutie patotie" in your eyes, not that these people would understand your affectionate terms. And for now, this mysterious person could wait: You had more important matters, such as coddling the boy between your arms!

"Well, maybe, we will see that man again and he might know something about her! Maybe this is a good omen!"

I highly doubt it, considering where it comes from, Kaeya bitterly thought to himself with his fingers playing with his chin thoughtfully. He couldn't help but wonder if you were a spy sent here but quickly dismissed the idea since you weren't even aware of the Seven Nations yet alone Mondstadt or the visions. You seemed like someone who didn't have any powers, except knowing when Aether was in danger as Paimon said, super-hearing and being a skilled swordfighter.

And where you came from seemed like a mystery to you as well. He knows Aether said you two were from another world, but in a way... So was Khaenri'ah, and he had to know it...

Know if you were... another survivor that might have just forgotten who they are as a result of erosion.

As Kaeya was deep in his thoughts, Aether hummed thoughtfully as he hugged you back, though you three were in public, even if there was a cute pink tinting over his cheek. He really didn't want to "ruin" your mood with how crestfallen he had become at the sight of that flower but he just... couldn't help it. With the way he parted ways with his sister, no the way he was forced to, always left a bitter taste on his tongue. He felt like he had failed her, they had never parted before and they never had to go for such a long time with no communication...

He missed her so much... But still, he didn't feel the longing and missing feeling so much with your and Paimon's presence: By the way you always hung out with them, took care of them by trying hard to learn how to cook, watch out for both of them as they slept (even if he made you think they were safe and sound sleep and not awake making sure you were safe too), how you always praised him for his hardwork, patted his head and even helped train with him...

And the best part was perhaps letting you comb through his hair and re-braid them. He didn't let you, for the longest time. Since you two just met, and he didn't know anything about you when he asked and you only said you didn't "remember" much, he didn't want to show a vulnerability to you. Whether you would stab him from the back, tug him back harshly from his hair and kill him... He wasn't sure of what to think about you, considering the life on the wild was already dangerous, but when he saw you begging him to go over a "baby hydro slime" to pat "him", cooing at it from a distance as he held you back with tears in your eyes as a result of "cuteness overload" as you ran at him as soon as he let go of you and watched with a soft smile...

He really liked you a lot... As a friend and companion of course!

Seeing his face contorted in a frown, you pouted and pondered for a few seconds for a way to change the subject and a bulb lighted above your head, visibly brightening your face.

"So... what's the 'super secret' mission you had for us again? I hope it's something risky!" you turned with your whole body to Kaeya with your arms still holding onto Aether thightly, as the man in question raised a brow at how... content you three looked.

A weird trio indeed...

"Why, if I may ask?" he, just as chivalrously as expected of him, asked. He smirked under his breath at how you flushed, even though this headache of his was starting to get him irritated but still... couldn't help but soften when you look down at the blonde in your grasp with obvious tenderness and familial care and then-

"So that I can come close to-hmph!" *harsh slap by none other than a blushing Aether and a bonk by Paimon, who were done with your dying tendencies*

"Nothing... Just explain it, Kaeya."

*Kaeya, shocked... But still gives a long and detailed explanation of the mission and what you three were supposed to look for and overly exaggerating the story while you three are like this*

"The sky used to roar with the thunders as my grandfather would grasp the handle of the sword, the waves get stronger and the sky was covered with the black clouds and strong storms! My grandfather, with the power of the sword, once killed a silver-haired fairy, an abyss dragon-"

"This seems like a huge lie." You, deadass serious: Ehe , ehe

"We can't let the sword to get on wrong hands! We need to get to it first!

"Are you for real? Really Paimon? You believed in his words." As Kaeya watched you bicker with the "floating baby" with a pout while she yelled at you, he hummed to himself and silently made plans for what to do with you and his mission as you three slowly walked away from him.

He had to watch out for you... especially since you seemed like you didn't know about your roots and what potential danger you were in.

At all.

"Perhaps, I should scout the area more... Can't have our guests in danger, now can we?" he said to no one and went to his own office, where he could find some silence, plan his next move on the "secret mission" he gave you and hope to spend some more time with you and Aether, hoping that him and you two...

Ahh, never mind... He was used to loneliness anyways.

But well... Would you look at that! Things, just as usual, didn't go according to plan, as usual, and now you three were tied up together- Wait, Paimon could fly? Why was she here? (ಠಿ⁠_⁠ಠ)

"I thought you could fly away Paimon!", "Paimon got panicked, okay?!", "Of all times... Now?!" (⁠θ⁠‿⁠θ⁠)

For Aether, the worst part wasn't being tied down with you two... It was the constant corny jokes you made, and the most-irritating-yet-funny-statements-that-he-definetly-didn't-find-funny you did.

"You know what, mister treasure hoarder? This is the most I've seen a guy putting in efforts to get me... Are you sure there isn't a sparkle between us?"🫦☺️

"Singing in the shower is fun.... Until you get soap inside your mouth, now it's soap opera!"/ "What did the ocean say to the beach?.. Nothing, it just waved!" ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡

Yeah, you get it. The pain of Paimon and Aether is real. ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

Spoilers Alert: Your very much so bestfriend was already waiting in the Dendro Archon's land, who went by a certain name such as General Mahamatra and his ears ringed "without a reason" 😋

Boy was having the hardest time of his more than 3000 life ever by having to conceal his giggles and not irritate people even more. ಠ⁠﹏⁠ಠ

"Look Bro, I'd have reallyy wanted to act like a cute and girly girl who guys like you loves to prey on but It's against my codes, my morals! I just can't be one, just like you can't be smart enough to tell that I'm already outta the shackles~" you shook on tandem with the shackles between your hands and giggled before sprinting up towards them with Aether's sword that laid idly on the ground, fast on your steps.

*evil giggles, and proceeds to knock out them all in two simple blows and sitting down to munch on the snack you brought* "We should make more of this one! It's yummy!" 🤤😋☺️

Aether, to his future self: Don't tempt Y/N's wild tendencies or anger ✍🏻

He was impressed tho, he never would have thought that you were a strong person, that much at least. He never ever thought of seeing you jumping up and down between enemy like it was a game for you, swinging a bat you found on the corner after letting go of his sword... How did you even find it? How the hell did you get out of those shackles?? Yet alone beat those buff men twice, maybe thrice your size??

"It's a trick I learnt in my world! You see, these little shits are not that hard to-"

"Oh, I see that our newest Honorary Knights are feisty~" *Kaeya fucking Alberich who entered dramatically clapping his hands as a look of confusion yet teasing in his eye, smirking*

The ungodly shriek you and Paimon let out at the sight of him ☠️😅

"Hmm... Remember what I said back when you two beat the StormsTerror?" he asked as he tidied around for the last time, sending the hoarders and thieves into jail with other knights. Aether looked at him for a few seconds, then his face lightened up visibly at remembering it as he picked his sword up from the ground.

"That whether we are a new ally or a new storm?" Kaeya nodded and for a second, turned to look at your form that was now petting a cyro slime cutely, cooing at it as the slime gurgled and made cute sounds to you. He chuckled under his breath at how cute and oblivious you were, and how different you were than the rest who would usually go for killing it rather than adopting them, and how people gravitated towards you naturally... Even though you had the potential to become so much more...

He wondered what your story with him, and with Teyvat, entailed...

Of what you would become.

"I think you are a new ally... Welcome, to Mondstadt." He said looking directly at your face when you turned to look at him with a shocked yet happy smile, knowing full well that he wouldn't leave you alone and you would indulge with any kind of shenanigans with him... By flirting back! ヾ⁠(⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠*⁠)⁠ﾉ

You had to take your revenge on him for making you feel like that😤

For now though... You had to have a good rest, preferably on a bed, so that this annoying headache ever since you got that flower would go away. Besides, as much as sleeping on the wild, cuddled together with the other two was cute and wholesome -except the times you watched over the two with a keen eye, draping your cape over their figures to warm them more- you desperately needed a good sleep like you used to have in your world.

"FINALLY! I'm so tired and I want to eat something! I'm literally craving and this close to cook Paimon-"

"Paimon is not an emergency food!" All of you chuckled at her answer as Kaeya helped you up and promised to treat you with Mondstadt's national foods as a special thank you which made your heart literally skip a beat at the flirty voice... Someone had to stop this man.

How did he always find a way to flirt?? Does he not run out of ideas?? Ahh, he knows the effect he has... Dangerous indeed, you sighed but nodded anyways. A little bit of fun wouldn't hurt anyone, right?

*cue the "Careless Whisper" entering your mind as he helped you and you both looked at each other for a few seconds and Aether butting in and pushing Kaeya out of the way to lead you himself, while the man was left dumbfounded but even more determined*

"So, how about we go and eat together Y/N? What did you say you were craving again?"

You were definetly going to be the Storm that caused havoc and turned Teyvat upside down.

For now though... You had to meet with some new people, after arriving to the city of course.

Oh boi, you weren't ready to meet all those hot people that would come across you lol

[gabessquishytum]

When a skinny wirey hot goth walks into Hob's gym, Hob is pretty sure he's lost. Hob gym is more boxing, lifting, and working your aggression out on dudes heads or heavy bags; Hot! Goth looks like he needs smoothies and yoga mats and like he would turn his nose up at sweat that's not "glowing".

Matthew checked him in, so Hob didn’t even get a name before Hot! Goth took off his sweat jacket and started to lift --- Hob was mesmerized!

Hot!Goth was doing everything right (Hob wasn't perv-ing, he was just watching checking to make sure no one got hurt) so Hob couldn't even offer tips! And he was strong, he was lifting real weight and Hob maybe wanted to bite his biceps. Hob is just going to walk over and take a,,,,,, customer satisfaction survey, make sure new guy feels welcome,, offer a tour of the private showers.

Dream just wanted a place in his new neighborhood to workout - without all the himbos and people in the gym just to be seen. Dream was serious about his workout and this gym seems like a place to workout without the flash.....(and the day before he might have seen this hot sweats and ripped-off arms shirt wearing, manbun having, scorchingly hot guy walk in here while Dream was grabbing coffee.) Dream's trying not to be obvious about looking for someone specifically.

You sent this in a while ago but it's so on theme right now! Hell yeah!

And who could forget Tom's workout video when he was getting the "shaved panther" look for season 1.

Listen, Hob is trying his best. He's checked Hot Goth's form, and he's almost perfect. He doesn't seem interested in any of the classes or group sessions. And Hob is NOT going to accost the poor man at what is supposed to be a safe space. So, Hob keeps coaching his clients, running the gym in general and doing his own workouts. It's FINE.

Then one day, Hob is doing deadlifts when he notices that Hot Goth is trying to get his attention. His shirt seems to be absolutely soaking wet! "I knocked my water all over myself while I was getting off the machine. I hate to ask, but may I take my top off? I would like to finish my workout, if possible."

Hob is happy to say yes (he's horny. He's HORNY to say yes) and Hot Goth pulls off his shirt. He's got an absolutely glorious physique and Hob can barely keep in a squeak of delight.

Hot Goth looks pleased by Hob’s reactions, but he still looks like he wants to say something else. "I feel a little awkward." He murmurs, when Hob raises an eyebrow. "Being the only one."

And what us Hob supposed to DO?! He takes his own shirt off maybe too enthusiastically. It's bulking season (aka the best season) and he's feeling good in his body! Hot Goth's extremely appreciative, mouth opened stare does a lot for his confidence too.

Hob wonders for a few seconds if this is just a bros being bros, enjoying each other's manly tits thing. And then Hot Goth pretty much flutters his eyelashes. "I have been meaning to do some more cardio, if you would be amenable to joining me. Perhaps in your office, where we would not be disturbed?"

(It takes Hob an hour and 2(!!!) orgasms to get Hot Goth's name and number. He tells Matthew to give Dream a free subscription. Boyfriends get certain perks, you know?)

[sateurn]

Further things

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

These sobs really limited my tags?????

I have so many more thoughts this is so so much less than 1/2. Broski. Big dislike

[madstronaut]

PSA: i am an absolute sucker for meet-cutes

ya know what's funny? every time I have the passing thought wondering if I'll run out of fic I've bookmarked to (lovingly) rant about, my moots/cod writers never fail to deliver new bangers after bangers... at this rate my bookmark folder is bursting at the seams and threatening to explode into a big flaming glorious ball of confetti and words and emotions and tears (mine, my tears, those are all mine-)

I have also had the most exhausting past few weeks and seeing memes crop up about "becoming important at work is ruining my life" hit a little too real for me to laugh without crying a teeny bit but you know who i know got me? FANFIC WRITERS MY BELOVEDS THAT'S WHO 💖💖💖 (whom? fuck idk anymore how did I even get my job when I fuck up basic grammar lol)

I have been listening to Posty's new country song with Dolly Parton and it feels incredibly gaz-coded to me... I recently went karaoke-ing and let me tell you I would flirt hardcore by alternately winking constantly/making deep unblinking eyecontact into kyle's baby browns while singing this song anyway sorry totally sidetracked by daydreaming about making out with gaz and then wearing nothing but his hat while i ride his d- [rest of sentence drowned out by dolly parton's bridge]

ok fuck THE FIC WHERE WAS I BACK TO THE FIC

Reading: Firefighter!Kyle by @stellewriites

ok to start mister mistoffelees!!!!!!! what a name I swear cat owners give their pets the wildest names (I met someone who had two cats named porterhousesteak and shakeandbake - both names were pronounced like one word) (also on the off-chance charlotte if you're reading this, let's pretend we are two ships passing in the night and you can ignore my videogame military men thirstblog and i'll ignore the names you chose to bestow on your pets)

and even before stelly described him I KNEW HE WAS AN ORANGE CAT 😂

also I have not read or seen Cats the book/musical/movie prior to reading this fic but this made me want to so that I can flirt with stelleverse!kyle

“please misty, my arms are tired and my neighbours have probably already lost all respect for me,” you groaned. it turned into a huff when he turned away to clean his paws, ignoring you again. “you win! there, happy? you furry little orange devil, you fucking win!”

🤭🤭🤭 ok but let's be real we've all been there pleading with pettos and having full-on one-sided conversations with em

you pulled out your phone and skimmed the articles you’d pulled up advising you on how to get a stuck cat out of a tree.

*running to google* also is this not the most millenial/gen-z thing to do!!!! lmao the things I have googled....

“ah that looks like a job for our best man, don’ya agree, si? think this requires garrick’s expertise,” the man said again, smirking at the man sat next to him up front.

we stan a man who sees someone and goes "that's my mate's type" i feel like soap would be such a good wingman

“oi! i’d be happy to help the bonnie thing with their pussy, but ah thought you might appreciate stretching yer legs,” ‘tav huffed from the window.

irl men saying this to me: mace to the face first, questions later

fictional video game men saying this line to me: *practicing deep lunges so I can open my legs for them even wider*

“ahh ok,” kyle nodded. he tested the balance of the ladders against the tree. “musical or book?” my mum used to love t. s. eliot, so i know probably more than i should about it,” he joked, slowly reaching his hand out for misty to sniff at.

NERDY MAMA'S BOY THEATER LOVER CAT WHISPERER HIMBO KYLE MY BELOVED (seriously stelly just took all my fucking weaknesses and rolled them into firefighter!kyle)

“it’s what we’re here for,” kyle said easily, shrugging as he came to stand before you. “plus, it’s always easy when the callers are so pretty.” “hah! right, yeah he’s a cutie,” you said and wiggled your fingers at misty, letting him bat at them. kyle waited for you to look up before replying. “i meant you,” he said a little sheepishly.

"he said a little sheepishly" that cat better get back in that tree to make space cos I'd be taking a running leap into his arms after rizzing me up like that

“like, how? on the emergency number?” you hinted. “ah fuck,” he swore and patted at his pockets. you heard the scotsman laugh from the truck and hid your own teasing smile behind your hand.

SCCREEEAAAMMMING

I would be remiss not to include this cute little challengefic stelly wrote that I have daydreamed about multiple times after reading (I usually picture gaz or soap here when I read about college/uni!141)

the fic also reminds me of the large lectures I attended in college (I was a solid sit near the middle or 2/3 up the room but never allll the way in the back student) where I observed in no particular order:

several randos watching various LOTR movies on their laptop

watching Pirates of the Caribbean and Dragon Ball Z was also super popular

also anime porn! FUCKING WHY THO SIT AT THE VERY BACK IF YOU'RE GONNA DO THIS YOU FUCKING DEGENERATE I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THAT IN MY SOPHOMORE LINGUISTICS LECTURE

also re: chronic anime porn purveyor -> seeing a girl straight up go over and unplug his charger from the wall socket AND his laptop and just WALK AWAY WITH IT 😂🙌 (my queen I still think about you from time to time after all these years, I oft pray to match a thimbleful of your energy)

girl playing Pokemon Red on an emulator on her laptop (I was riveted and also went to search and download the same and got lost in the sauce burning through all the pokegames for a hot minute too...THANK YOU ARIA!!!!!!!!)

guy playing tetris on his comp at an INSANELY god-tier speed level; i'm positive he did it for an audience because i swear i saw people attempting to look for and sit behind him to observe him during classes to watch his ass play (noooo this wasn't me who said that also he was kinda cute in a 'you are very competent in this weirdly niche area and i find that kinda hot' way)

girl dropping $800+ on topshop website (am I dating myself mentioning topshop lol is it still around?!?!)

guy speedwriting a paper for another class and turning it in - all during a totally unrelated class, honestly was impressed

girl flawlessly applying liner, lipstick, and a glitter topper without spilling or getting the glitter everywhere (btw at a 9am lecture? slay sis)

anyway can you tell i went to a very large uni lol OK WHERE WAS I BACK TO FIC BACK TO FIC

you stared at the screen unblinkingly, thoroughly distracted from your course and the discussion around you until a hand holding a slip of paper appeared at your shoulder in your peripheral. you flicked your eyes up and found the professor busy facing the board and took the chance to swivel in your seat to look up at the one above yours and the handsome man that currently claimed it.

I can physically feel my pupils popping til they engulf my eyes as I read this - also I loved the premise of this challenge (cali my beloved making bangers as usual @the-californicationist) with people having to guess who the chara was! one of the verrrry first fics I read in cod fandom was an insert-blorbo-of-your-choice-here x reader that I looooooooooved; I find the fill-in-the-blank aspect verrrry titillating✨

“i could maybe think of some way you could thank me,” he acquiesced, smile turning sly. “better concentrate on the front of the class for now though.” he nodded forward.

can also physically feel my pupils turning to heart eyes at this line 😍UNFFFF YES YES LET'S HAPPILY BRAINSTORM THE MANY MANY M A N Y WAYS I COULD THINK OF THANKING YOU GOOD SIR

i met some of my best mates (and earned some wild stories to boot) at uni, as they say over on the other side of the pond, and all the fun cute chaotic little moments of serendipity sprang back up when I read stelly's works and made me feel incredibly nostalgic 🥰🥰🥰 going old school and pulling out my 2008 neutrogena lipgloss out of memory lane for my chef's kisses for yooouuuuu mwahmwahmwahmwah😙👌😙👌😙👌😙👌

[brian-in-finance]

Jamie Dornan in ‘The Fall’ / HELEN SLOANE/NETFLIX

Jamie Dornan reveals Fifty Shades fame led to a 'stalker-type' situation

"The more I can block that out, the better it is for me and family," he said.

Though he generally manages to fly under the radar, Jamie Dornan has had to deal with a potentially dangerous fan in the past.

Dornan, 41, rose to international fame when he played billionaire-with-specific-sexual-tastes Christian Grey in the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. And while the films opened some doors for him, they also put him in the path of some unhinged fans.

While speaking with British paper The Independent, Dornan revealed that the fame and rumors surrounding the franchise led to a disturbing encounter. “I’ve been involved in situations where it’s impacted my family," he said.

I had a situation... a stalker-type situation before Covid. That was f-ing scary. Someone turned up at my house when my kids were there. It was not something... The more I can block that out, the better it is for me and the family.

Dornan also addressed ongoing conspiracy theories that he and Grey costar Dakota Johnson have a secret relationship and family (in reality, Dornan has been married to Amelia Warner since 2013, with whom he shares three children).

I tried to put walls up around [the fans], to really try and not let that in. I’m pretty good at just blocking any of the noise associated with whatever fandom is – not letting it affect me, or more importantly my family.

Jamie Dornan in 'Fifty Shades Freed’ / EVERETT COLLECTION

His time in the Fifty Shades franchise was marked by boffo box office combined with behind-the-scenes strife, largely due to author E.L. James' differing creative vision from original director Sam Taylor-Johnson. But Dornan also revealed that his past history as a model meant he was often only considered for romantic heroes like Christian Grey in his early days as an actor.

“All I’d ever get to audition for was, you know, ‘the count who comes in on a f-ing horse and ravages the woman’,” he remembered. “I’d come from modeling, so I thought those were the only types of roles I was going to do."

The opposite has proved true with Dornan playing everything from a serial killer on The Fall to a lovestruck himbo in Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar to a dad fighting to keep his family together during the Irish "troubles" in Belfast. He's hoping to avoid projects that might bring him the level of notoriety of Fifty Shades in the future.

Jamie in ‘Barb and Star Go To Vista Del Mar’ / CATE CAMERON/THE CW

"There’s never going to be anything like Fifty Shades again," he said. "It felt very much like its own thing, particularly because it focused in and around sex. But there are obviously other jobs that bring insane scrutiny, like superhero stuff, or f--ing James Bond – any of that stuff. I’ve done pretty well to avoid that sort of s-- so far."

Though he also doesn't rule out the possibility of finding himself in a project of that nature at some point. “I think if you’re an actor of a certain standing, who has a certain sort of recognition, you’re going to be in those conversations,” he noted. "I’m not saying I’d never do anything super high-profile again, or a big [intellectual property] with all eyes on it. I probably will. But I’m also really happy with where I’m at right now."

"I can live a pretty normal life for the most part," he concluded. "I can sit on the Tube and I’m fine. I’m an ambitious person, and I have a fire under me, but in the last 10 years or so, I’ve realized I don’t want big peaks all the time. That doesn’t interest me. I’m happy to keep ticking over as I am, then one day just disappear and play golf for the rest of my life."

Jamie in ‘Belfast’ / ROB YOUNGSON/FOCUS FEATURES

EW

Remember how the Belfast stars probably compared notes?

[mokkkki]

Sleeping With The Enemy, Winners and Losers: Act I Retrospective

How can one destroy a legend?  

Hi everybody, and welcome to the final winners and losers of Act 1. Unsure if I'll keep doing these for Act 2, but if you guys want them to, let me know! Anyways, Act 1 was extremely hectic, and I wanted to declare the final winners and losers of this shitshow. As the last chapter suggests, the dice has been officially cast (that sounded SO douchey mb). Anyways, spoilers below the cut.

Winners: Rosier + Vanity

So, these two money-hungry Slytherins are considered winners because their position is never threatened, and they both get massive raises. Additionally, Rosier gets some in Eurus, and Vanity proves her worth to Regulus.

Winner, mostly because she's not that relevant: Marlene McKinnon

Even though Sirius' favorite person is definitely a negative at times (as she will experience in Act II), she has access to millions of dollars, has two beautiful kids, and seems to have a burgeoning social life outside of her husband. Go Marlene!

Loser: Emmeline Vance

Do I really have to explain?

Loser: Orion Black

He's technically a winner, as his position of CEO was never challenged, but considering that Regulus, the most viable heir, is out for blood, and that Sirius, his alternate heir, has relapsed, it's not looking good.

Winner: James Potter

He's curated a bond with Regulus, began a successful media company with his close friend, and realized important things for himself. All-in-all a good act for James, but IMO, he really, really needs to stop White Knight Syndrome-ing Regulus.

Loser: Remus Lupin

While technically a winner because of MMG's success, the fact that the person he did it all for, Sirius, has broken up with him, it's all for nothing. HOWEVER, considering the on-again, off-again nature of their relationship...

Winner: Lucius Malfoy

He bagged a total 10 and is chairman to MMG. Sure, he's married into one of the most terrifying families on earth, but knowing him, he can beautiful-hair and awkward-bumble his way out of literally anything. He MIGHT be my favorite.

Winner: Narcissa Black

Congrats to the newly-engaged Narcissa for winning what was a CUTTHROAT act. While most of these "winners" are winners in the fact that they've survived, Narcissa is a winner in the fact that she's actively thriving. Also, HELLO, I am so excited for power couple Ice Queen and Himbo! Especially since we know from canon that their son is cold asf.

Loser: Sirius Black

Yeahhhh, not everybody survived and thrived, Sirius being a prime example. All the close relationships he seems to have had in the pilot were all corrupted along the way. And I feel really bad. But they can't all be winners.

Winner, thinks he's a loser: Regulus Black

Not to reiterate previous points here, but as long as Regulus is being deprogrammed from his shitty childhood, he's winning. Ofc, he's been through horrible trauma with the unremembered Slut in the Hut and what happened with Emmeline, but I think that despite this he's on a path of growth, and will continue to grow in Act II as well <3

read act i here!

[lovecatsys]

you know what fuck it im making a little thing >:3

New Mutants/Hellions (Academy X) in order of how much I like them (bolded means they're an identified fav of mine)

New Mutants:

Wind Dancer

Prodigy

Elixir

Surge

Icarus

Wallflower

Hellions:

Hellion

Tag

Dust

Wither

Rockslide

Mercury

just so u guys know im almost done in my read of academy x and i am being taken to the dark side (becoming academy x fan)

[goddesspharo]

Okay, so I'm still thinking about Flip flops. Can I get anybit of piece of Click the pieces into Sharp arragements, in Jake's pov? (What a really want it's the whole thing, but I think that is to much to ask)

I Just need to know what that himbo is thinking when he got the best thing in his life, and If he's even aware that something with Nat it's a better achivement that reaching mach 10 .

[ask me for extras about my fics!]

↻ FLIP FLOP: the flip side of Jake hanging out in the bathroom while Phoenix and Rooster talk in click the pieces into sharp arrangements in Hangman's POV

She's probably going to kill him for this – Jake knows how his sisters used to get about anyone touching their stuff when they were teenagers; Natasha seems two hundred percent more likely to murder someone for disrupting her ordered chaos – but Jake is stressed and there's not enough room in her bathroom to pace properly so he cleans. The buzz from the too-strong margaritas has faded so wiping at her bathroom fixtures until the chrome shines as brightly as his teeth helps Jake forget about the bird strike. It makes him feel better to get on his hands and knees and scrub at the water ring around her tub until it's a distant memory. But when Jake closes his eyes, he can still hear the terror in Bob's voice as he listed all the warning lights going off at his console while Phoenix tried flying higher and higher on a single functioning engine and failing hydraulics. Even through the staticky radio, Phoenix's sense of betrayal as her hornet – an extension of herself – gave up the ghost was evident. Earlier, Jake wanted to tell her that he understood – that even though ejecting felt like amputating a limb, the alternative was dying of sepsis and no one wanted that – but the words came out jumbled and all he could do was tell Natasha that her swan dive into the ocean was impressive before hitting on her like she hadn't almost died six hours ago. This was probably why people thought he was such a dick, but it worked so who cares how they got there? Jake wants to descale her faucet, but he knows that Phoenix will kill him if she catches him rummaging through her kitchen cabinets for a bottle of vinegar while she's trying to convince Rooster that he is Important. He has already organized her face washes and moisturizers, finished today's crossword, and placed his parlays for tomorrow's college football game so in the interest of keeping his brain quiet, Jake sneaks out of the bathroom and throws a load of laundry into her washer. "You're Mother Hen-ing right now!" he hears Phoenix tell Rooster and absently wonders if maybe they get along so well because they've both got avian-themed call signs. If his call sign was Heron instead of Hangman, would Natasha be showing Rooster the door so she could reassure Jake instead? It feels too weighty to consider right now so Jake plasters on an obnoxious smirk and strolls into the living room to ask Natasha if she's trying to steal his thunder by making a Rooster joke.

[bisexualnathanyoung]

Tua s4 spoilers but also genuine question

Did Luther and Diego just feel really, really dumb this season to anyone else?

Like I think that’s the point, but I haven’t rewatched the other seasons, so have they always been like that? I just feel like in season four the characters felt less like people and more like jokes. Which I like jokes and I like insanity, but I haven’t seen anyone talking about how dumb they actually acted because everyone’s talking about all the other issues. I’m pretty sure they’ve been dumb-ing Luther down more and more each season, but idk Diego and Luther both just felt like stupid. Like Klaus always felt kinda dumb in a chaos way, and he didn’t feel any stupider, but Diego and Luther felt like real dumb. Like I know they had stunted growth and limited social interactions with kids that weren’t also ego maniacs with superpowers, but if Luther is supposed to be Dad’s Favorite because he tries too hard, why wouldn’t he be as smart as Five was before he left? They’re all supposed to speak multiple languages and were taught by a robot and an alien like… idk. From what I remember from season three and then season four just took the himbo thing to a different level. Idk.

[late-to-the-party-81]

He who Lovescraft loves loudest

AN: Here is my contribution to Stucky Halloween. I don’t really do true scary things, so I went a bit of a different route.

Big thanks go to @greekgeek24 for organising the event and making not only the cover for this fic, and for all the fics that are being entered, but also for the custom bonus image she made for me to share with you guys - you'll find it at the end.

Another big thanks goes to @zenaidamacrouras1 for beta-ing and giggling along to this silly story.

This story also fills Square O2 of my @stuckybingo card - Eldritch Horror as well as the October challenge prompt - Haunted House, and Square B3 on my @steverogersbingo card - Himbo Steve.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Summary: There’s some scary goings-on around campus. Several students have ended up in hospital, traumatised by something they’ve seen. Bucky, Steve, Sam, Nat and Alpine decide to investigate. Will they discover what’s going on and more importantly, will Bucky get lucky with Steve?

Relationships: Cap Quartet friendship, Steve x Bucky, FWB Nat x Sam.

Word Count: 6k

CW: College AU (all are late teens/early 20’s), kissing, groping, suggestive language, Bucky is constantly horny, Steve is a bit of a himbo, Nat has Sam right where she wants him, Scooby-doo inspired, crack treated seriously, cartoon style slapstick, Alpine is obviously the heroine, recreational drug usage (it goes without saying that in real life you should not have your cat inside your hotbox....)

It was quiet and peaceful in the library until Sam and Nat burst in. Steve had said he wanted to study, but Bucky had managed to convince him, as easily as usual, that making out would also be a good use of their time. 

Bucky was straddling his boyfriend's sinfully muscular thighs, arms wrapped around his neck, enjoying the feel of Steve’s lips against his own. Enjoying the way Steve’s tongue was snaking its way into his mouth. Enjoying the way both of their partially chubbed up cocks were pressed against each other through their layers of clothes.

It was in the back of his mind that it would probably be relatively easy to convince Steve to abandon the library altogether for the soft bench seats in the back of his van and a lot less clothing. However, that’s when the other two appeared.

Nat, making a statement with her skin tight purple jeans and matching top, threw her bag down onto the table and slumped into the nearest uncomfortable wooden chair, all the while making gagging sounds. Bucky pulled away from Steve with a sigh, sliding back onto his own chair. Steve chased his lips for a few seconds before realising why Bucky was no longer kissing the shit outta him. He blushed and immediately turned back to his books, pointlessly trying to make it look as though that was what he’d been doing all along.

“I don’t even know why you two even bother coming to the library to study,” Sam teased, smoothing out his orange turtleneck. “One of these days Mrs. Parker is gonna catch you and throw you out. That’s if she doesn’t throw you out for smuggling your cat in.” 

Bucky spun his chair around, planted his feet in Nat’s lap and tilted his head back to seeSam pointing at Bucky’s backpack. As if on queue, a small, white, furry head popped out of the open zipper.

“Mrow.” Bucky reached out his hand to scritch the top of her head and she started to purr.

“Nah. Mrs P loves Alpine. Who do you think gave my princess a taste for fresh cooked chicken? And she loves me too, especially after I helped her nephew study for his mechanics exam. Doc Octavious gave Peter an A. ”

“I don’t know how you do it, man,” Sam grumbled. “You never seem to study, but still manage to ace all your classes. Meanwhile the rest of us gotta work double time. Especially Goldilocks over there.” Sam jerked his thumb and Bucky twisted in his seat. Steve had gone back to his books, but he still had a cute flush covering his neck and cheeks and his hair was adorably mussed. Bucky smiled indulgently, taking in the sight of his boyfriend in his tight navy slacks and white cotton shirt, before turning back to Sam.

“It’s not my fault I’ve got more natural talent than any of you goobers.” Nat glared at him and shoved his booted feet from her knees. “What are you two here for anyway? I thought you were going to have your own ‘study session’.” He raised his hands in air quotes and Nat’s glare got more intense. Alpine ducked her head back into the bag. 

“We’re here,” she ground out, “because there’s been another attack.” Bucky looked at Nat askance and her announcement even got Steve’s attention as his head snapped up too.

“Yikes! Who was it, and when?” Steve’s shyness at being caught making out melted away, replaced with his no-nonsense ‘mother-hen’ tone. Bucky decided he loved Steve all the more for it.

Sam moved around the table and sat down on Steve’s other side. “It was Clint and Laura. They were found late last night, wandering around near the campus coffee shop.” He pulled a fold out map from his jeans pocket and spread it across the table. Steve picked up one of his pencils and, tongue poking out between his lips, drew an X on it. It was the fourth such mark on the paper.

Bucky scooched his chair closer, pushed his shaggy, shoulder-length hair out of his face, and peered over Steve’s shoulder. Nat got up from her seat and stood behind all of them, resting her hand on Bucky’s back.

“They were crying and talking nonsense when Campus security found them. They’re up at the hospital. I was gonna go up there in a bit and see if I could get anything out of them.” Her tone was laced with anger and Bucky turned his head to look at the clenched fingers of her free hand. Outside of him, Sam and Steve, Clint was one of Nat’s closest friends and she also adored his long term girlfriend Laura, having announced early on that the pair were definitely ‘endgame’.

“I can’t believe that Dean Fury isn’t doing anything about this. This is the fifth attack in just over two weeks and he’s acting like it’s nothing but Spooky Season pranks that have gotten out of hand.”

Bucky wouldn’t put it past Nat to storm into Fury’s office and refuse to leave until he took it seriously. She might not be the tallest, but she was definitely scary when she wanted to be.

“I think I see a pattern,” Sam said, cautiously. His finger tapped down on the map. “Here are the first two attacks, then the third, fourth and finally, the one last night. They’re all within half a block of the old Borson house.”

Steve’s brows drew together. “But no-one has lived there for years. As I understand it, the realtors only just got hold of his daughter to get her to agree to sell.”

“It gives me the heeby-jeebies,” said Bucky. “But maybe we should check it out this evening?”

“Got any twos?” asked Sam.

“Go fish,” Nat responded before she held out her hand for the joint Bucky was passing her. Sam grumbled and drew a card from the deck.

It was smokey and dark in the back of Bucky’s van, but that wasn’t unusual. Nor was the fact that, once again, Bucky was sitting on Steve’s lap. Now he’d passed the joint on, he could return to kissing Steve. 

Steve’s lips opened under his, so Bucky let go of his mouth full of smoke, shotgunning it to his boyfriend. Steve moaned back, his hands tightening on Bucky’s waist and rocking them together. 

“You’re so fucking sexy, Buck. Must be the luckiest guy in school.”

“If we were alone you could be even luckier,” Bucky mumbled into the soft skin of Steve’s neck.

“But you’re not,” drawled Nat, “so clothes stay on and flies stay zipped. That means you, Barnes. We all know who the bad influence is around here.”

“Anyway,” added Sam, “aren’t you two supposed to be keeping a lookout? Can’t do that while your lips are attached together.”

Bucky turned his head and stuck his tongue out at Sam. “You’re such a square.”

Sam raised an eyebrow and took a long pull on the joint. “I think you need to reframe your definition, man. I’m sitting in the back of a beat up van, smoking a joint, keeping an eye out for an unknown monster terrorising our campus and getting beaten at ‘Go Fish!’ of all things. Also, I’m me. As far from square as they come.” 

“Don’t get cocky, Wilson.” As she spoke, Nat stretched out her foot, placing it right into Sam’s crotch. Sam squeaked. Nat smiled.

“I still don’t quite understand what we’re even looking out for,” said Steve. “What did Laura say again?”

“Not a lot,” Nat replied as she stared down at her hand of cards, still rocking her foot back and forth. “She’s obviously traumatised from whatever it was that happened. Her parents said she wasn’t really talking at all, but when I got there she just grabbed hold of my shirt and pulled me really close. Then she just started muttering under her breath. The words ‘tentacles’ and ‘monster’. Then she let me go and went back to staring into space.” The others looked at her in horror, but Nat didn’t seem to notice. “Got any eights?”

Sam threw his cards down across the small table and the moment was broken. The slips of card slid across the melamine surface and Alpine, who had been lightly dozing upon it, opened her eyes and batted a few to the floor.

“Damn it, Romanoff. How the fuck do you do that?” Sam bent down with a huff to retrieve his cards, the joint wedged in the corner of his mouth.

“Observation, my dear Wilson. I can read you like a book.” As Sam sat back up, Nat plucked the joint from his lips and passed it back towards Steve and Bucky. She slipped around the table and slid onto the bench seat Sam was occupying, squishing him against the wall of the van. He grinned at her.

“And is that book the Karma Sutra?” He’d dropped his voice as low as it could go, pulling out all the stops.

“Depends how flexible you are, Sammy-boy.” Nat flicked the end of his nose and they both dissolved into giggles

Bucky, started to chuckle at their antics, when suddenly an ear-piercing scream from outside split the air. 

“Jinkies!” Steve exclaimed and leapt to his feet, banging his head on the roof of the van and tumbling Bucky to the floor in the process. Both exclaimed in pain.

“Damn it, Stevie!” 

“Sorry, Buck.” Steve rubbed at his head with one hand and with the other reached out to haul Bucky up from the floor. One strong jerk and Bucky was back on his feet. Bucky placed the joint in the ashtray and then rubbed at the ache in his ass. Sam and Nat were also on their feet and opening the sliding side door. Cool autumn air swirled into the space, flushing out the pungent fog they had all been cultivating.

Nat jumped down onto the asphalt, head tilted to the side as she waited to see whether any more noises would be forthcoming. She didn’t have to wait for long. A second scream met their ears and before any of the others could say anything she was off, sprinting towards whatever was happening. Sam and Steve looked at each other for a moment and then Sam sped away, hot on Nat’s heels.

“Nat! Wait!”

Bucky jumped down after him, but before he could follow suit he felt Steve’s large hands clamp down on his upper arms.

“Stay here, Bucky.”

“But Steve!” Bucky twisted in Steve’s hold to face him, confusion on his face.

“No, Bucky. I need to know you’re safe. Please. Stay here. You and Alpine. And we might need you to drive the van.” He dropped a kiss to Bucky’s forehead and then he was also running off into the streetlamp lit night.

Bucky watched him, mouth agape in stunned silence, before he stepped back and sat down on the edge of the open doorway.

“What the hell was that? Doesn’t he trust us, Al?” Bucky turned his head to look back into the van. Alpine was no longer sitting on the small table. “Al?” He stood up and then climbed into the van. “Alpine? Where are you, princess?” Bucky opened his backpack zipper wider, wondering whether his stalwart feline had decided to curl up in there for a snooze. No such luck.

Bucky planted his hands on his hips and let out a sigh. His girl was always trying to roam somewhere. He re-exited the van and strode over to bushes on the opposite side of the road.

“Alpine… Princess… Where are you sweetheart?” He ducked down but couldn’t see her. “Here, Alpine! Pss-pss-pss… I’ve got some chicken for you…” Bucky walked a little further down the sidewalk. She had to be around here somewhere. Just then, he caught movement in his peripheral vision; a dart of white disappearing between two fence planks.

“Ah-ha!” Bucky jogged off in pursuit. “You won’t get away from me.” He clambered over the short fence and followed the small blur of white into the shrubs. Branches snagged at his hair and his olive green t-shirt and he wished he’d worn a jacket now - it was a lot colder out here than he’d first thought and it would have protected his arms from getting scraped. The greenery thickened, forcing Bucky down onto his hands and knees. He shuffled forward and  stuck his head and shoulders into a gap under one of the bushes. Alpine was sitting under it, swishing her tail angrily.

“There you are, Princess. Come on. Out you come. We need to get back to the van.” Carefully he reached out, but Alpine let out an uncharacteristic growl as he did. “Hey! What’s gotten into you?” She growled again, the hair on her back standing up on end. As Bucky looked at her in the gloom, he realised something. She wasn’t looking at him. She was looking at something behind him.

Bucky felt a chill go through him, and realised that the ground around him was taking on a green glow. He looked at Alpine, her fur also taking on the eerie hue.

“I don’t suppose that’s Sam, trying to scare the jeepers out of me?”

Alpine continued to growl.

“Didn’t think so…”

Bucky took a deep breath and then backed up quickly, intending to surprise whoever it was behind him with his speed. However, the weed from earlier had made him a little light-headed and as he stood up and spun around, the world spun with him. Something strange - green and non-human looking - started to coalesce in front of his eyes. It opened its mouth and let out an inhuman noise as something else wrapped around his arms. Bucky stepped back in alarm and caught his heel on a tree root. As he lost his balance the creature lost its grip on his arms, but that meant there was nothing to stop Bucky as he pitched backwards. Pain flared from the back of his skull as it connected with the ground. The green, monstrous figure loomed over him, getting closer, but the world continued to spin, before it all went black.

Bucky was shaking.

No. He was being shaken.

“Bucky. Baby. Please. Wake up. I need you to wake up.”

Bucky groaned. His head hurt so much and Steve’s voice was so loud.

“For god’s sake, Steve. Let him breathe.” That was Nat. Bucky groaned again and tried to open his eyes.

“M’okay, Steve,” he croaked out. “What happened? Where am I?”

He sat up, clinging onto Steve and finally managed to open his eyes. He was in the back of his van. Hazy memories flooded back in.

“Alpine! Where is she?” Bucky whipped his head around looking for his beloved pet, but he just went dizzy again and had to cling to Steve harder.

“She’s here, man.” Sam knelt down beside him, a struggling bundle of white fluff in his arms. He opened them and Alpine jumped down onto Bucky’s lap, rubbing her head against his middle and purring. “We came back to the van after finding out that the screaming was Hope Van Dyne - Scott had jumped out on her to give her a scare. It apparently worked too well, although Scott is now sporting a black eye. But when we got back you weren’t here and the door was open. Steve was starting to have a nervous breakdown when Al came running out from the trees, meowing her head off.”

Bucky felt Steve slide to sit down behind him and pull Bucky’s slimmer frame against his broad chest. Bucky allowed himself to be pulled into the hug and Sam continued.

“As soon as Steve got close to her she turned tail and ran off again, but stopped every few yards and looked behind her. She was seeing if we were following. What on earth were you doing in the yard of the Borson house?”

Bucky inhaled deeply, letting the smell of Steve’s cheap, but familiar, cologne sooth him. “It was Alpine. She ran in there first and I followed. I didn’t realise it was the Borson yard. I was concentrating too much on getting my princess back.”

Nat sat down cross-legged next to him, eyes roving over his face as if she were a nurse checking for signs of concussion. Knowing Nat, that’s probably what she was actually doing. “We found you unconscious and Steve carried you back here. What happened?”

Bucky’s brow furrowed as he tried to recall the details. “There was some kind weird person - creature - and it grabbed me, and made this horrible squealing sound. It was green. But I slipped and fell. Banged my head. I didn’t even see it that clearly.”

Sam let out a whistle. “Jeepers! I know you were baked, but what in the HP Lovecraft did you see?”

“I really don’t know, but I want to go home.”

Bucky was still nursing a headache the next day, which sucked for two reasons. Firstly, it was Halloween, and he, Steve, Nat and Sam were supposed to be going to a party tonight and currently he wasn’t feeling it. Secondly, it was making it harder than normal to pay attention in Professor Zemo’s History of Conflict in Europe class. He just wanted to go to sleep, preferably with his head resting on Steve’s stomach as his blonde boyfriend combed his fingers through his hair.

“Are you with us, Mr Barnes?” Sam jabbed him in the ribs and Bucky lifted his head to find that the Professor's accented voice was aimed solely at him. He realised he must have been staring off into space. 

“Sorry, Professor. I didn’t sleep very well last night.” Bucky mumbled his apology into his chest. Professor Zemo sighed and briefly pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Mr Barnes, please don’t make your nocturnal habits anyone else’s problem except your own. You can waste your own time if you want, but you will not waste mine. If you can’t give my class the proper attention then please avail yourself of the door.”

Bucky squirmed in his seat from embarrassment, aware of the heat in his cheeks that was probably turning his face bright pink. “I… umm…”

“Don’t be so hard on him, Prof. It wasn’t his fault. He got attacked by the monster last night.” Sam’s voice cut across the awkward tension in the air and Bucky didn’t know whether to hug him or hit him. However, his announcement had the effect of distracting everyone in the lecture hall. Or rather now focusing them on Bucky for something other than being chewed out by Professor Zemo.

“You saw it?” Maria turned around in her seat in front of Bucky, eyes wide with intrigue. “What was it like?”

“And why aren’t you in the hospital like the others?” Carol, in the row behind leant forward.

“Well… I…” Bucky rubbed at the back of his neck, trying to formulate an answer that wouldn’t make him look like an idiot. Fortunately he was saved from answering by the Professor trying to get his classroom back in order.

“Settle down, everyone. There is no monster. It’s all just pranks by your immature peers, I’m sure. The only real damage is going to be to the property prices. Who’s going to want to live near such a rambunctious group? I sincerely hope that whoever is behind it stops soon. It’s bringing down the reputation of our centre of learning. But anyway, enough of this distraction. Are you staying or going, Mr Barnes?”

Still awash with embarrassment, Bucky mumbled “Staying, Sir,” under his breath, but it seemed to placate the Professor. 

“Alright then. Where were we? Ah, yes… the Peninsular War…”

“Are you sure I look alright, Buck?” Steve’s voice was laced with trepidation, but Bucky was having difficulty concentrating. He knew that Steve’s costume was going to be a vampire one - he was a werewolf to go with him - but Bucky hadn’t quite realised how revealing Steve’s outfit was going to be…

The main part of it was a red singlet which made Steve look as though he was about to start wrestling. Bucky thought that he might enjoy wrestling with Steve. Under the singlet was a shirt. Sort of. It was sheer. It had a built in cravat at the net and had multiple folds of fabric around the wrists. However, it stopped just above Steve’s glorious tits. To finish it off, there was a short black cape with a red ‘pop-up’ collar. On his feet Steve wore his shiny black dress shoes, his black socks pulled part way up his calves. It was definitely ‘a look’.

Not that Bucky’s outfit was much more dignified - a furry hooded cape with ears that just about covered his nipples, some kind of cross between grey sweatpants and yoga pants with a fuzzy tail, and a pair of furry gloves with claws. He’d just put his battered combat boots on to walk around. And right now he was walking closer to Steve.

He pressed his chest up against his boyfriend’s, wrapping his arms around Steve’s slim waist. He smiled to himself as he saw Steve’s eyes flutter shut as the fur of Bucky’s cape rubbed over his exposed nipples.

“You look so good, Steve, it makes me want to howl. Ow-ow-woo!” Bucky threw his head back and leaned into the bit.

“Buck….” Steve hissed between his teeth, his neck turning a very un-vampire like shade of pink.

“What? The only other person here is your mom and she knows how I feel about you. She’s rolled her eyes at me enough. But I promise to behave myself while we’re out. Or at least I promise to try. And you can’t blame me, baby. You’re so god-damn sexy.”

Steve seemed to have got over Bucky’s over the top reaction and looped his own arms around Bucky’s neck. “Right back at you, Buck. I can’t promise not to bite your neck.” Bucky snorted at Steve’s silly vampire accent but leaned in for a kiss. It started innocently enough, but as was normal for the two of them, hormones raging, it wasn’t long until Bucky was lying on his back on Steve’s bed, being pinned down in a way he couldn’t complain about. However, before things could move from PG-13 to Rated R, they became aware that there was a knocking on the front door downstairs. 

As they listened to the dulcet tones of Sarah Rogers letting the visitors in, the two reluctantly drew apart and willed their erections to go down. There was one thing when your boyfriend’s mom knew what you were getting up to, but for her to see the evidence of it was another thing altogether. 

Costumes sufficiently smoothed out, the two descended the stairs to find Sarah chatting to Sam and Nat in the hallway. The three looked up. Sarah Rogers let a small smile play over her lips as she took in the costumes of her son and his best-friend-turned-boyfriend. Nat and Sam grinned.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here? Slutty monsters of the night?” Sam drawled.

“Can it, Mr ‘Nat and I aren’t wearing a couples costume’. You’re Batman and Catwoman for fuck’s sake.”

Nat rolled her eyes behind her mask. “Yeah, and Batman and Catwoman aren’t a couple.”

“They are friends with benefits though,” smirked Steve. “So I suppose it tracks. I don’t know why you two don’t make it official.”

“Why spoil a good thing, Rogers? Natty and I both know where we stand, don’t we, kitten?” Sam turned his head and flashed Nat his signature gap-toothed smile. Nat extended a gloved hand toward him, fingers curled like claws.

“Me-ow! Now, let’s get going, boys! Halloween parties wait for no creatures.”

The four of them all hugged Sarah Rogers goodbye, and Bucky carefully picked up his backpack from her sofa, a sleeping Alpine still inside. Sarah had said that he could leave the cat with her, but Bucky had decided to bring his faithful feline with him and let her chill out in the van while the party was in full swing at Scott’s house.

He pulled himself up into the driver's seat, placing his backpack down next to him and tucking his tail to the side. Steve slid in on the other side and reached across to squeeze his thigh. Sam opened the side door and helped Nat hop up, even though she was capable of getting in on her own. When the door slammed shut again, Bucky turned the ignition and they were off.

Steve fiddled with the radio, turning on a local station playing a medley of Halloween hits. Thriller was currently playing. Bucky hummed along while he drove, drumming on the steering wheel while Sam sang along, slightly off pitch, in the back.

It was one of those ‘blink and you’d miss it’ moments. One moment they were driving along a fairly empty street, towards campus, the next the headlamps lit up a strange green form in front of them. Bucky slammed on the brakes. Steve reacted quickly, grabbing Bucky’s backpack and stopping it, and Alpine, sliding off onto the floor. In the back, Sam and Nat let out cries of displeasure as they were shaken about.

“What the hell, Barnes!”

Bucky twisted in his seat to meet Sam’s outraged gaze.

“Did you see that? Did you see it?” He didn’t wait for an answer. He put the car back in drive and pulled over to the side of the road and leapt out. He was looking around frantically as the others climbed out of the van. Steve reached into the backpack and placed Alpine on the ground and she wound around Bucky’s legs, sensing his discomfort. Steve placed his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“I saw something green, Buck. But I wasn’t really paying attention.”

Bucky spun to face him. “It was him, Steve. The monster.”

Sam and Nat came to stand next to them.

“Are you sure, Bucky?” There was a gentle questioning note in Nat’s voice.

“Absolutely, Nat. I’m certain.”

“Well,” said Sam, rolling his shoulders and puffing out his bat symbol covered chest, “He can’t have gone far.”

Down on the ground Alpine started to paw at Bucky’s leg. “Mwerp.”

They all looked down at her. She cocked her head, turned around and trotted off.

“She’s doing it again,” said Nat. “She wants us to follow her.” 

The four of them scrambled, Bucky only just remembering to lock the van, and they all jogged off after Alpine. She ducked down and squeezed under a gap in a fence and her faithful humans skidded to a stop.

“It’s the old Borson house again,” stated Steve. “Something very fishy is going on. Let’s go.” He started to climb over the fence, but stopped part way when he realised the others were looking at him. “What?”

“Seriously, man?” Sam raised an eyebrow. There was a heartbeat of silence, and then Sam shook his head in resignation. “Okay. Let’s go.” He followed Steve over the fence and held his hand out to Nat. She gave him a look and practically vaulted over, landing crouched, one hand on the floor between her bent knees. Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Such a poser.”

“You’re just jealous that you can’t do it,” Nat retorted.

Bucky snorted, but clambered over the wooden panel in a more sedate manner. He didn’t trust himself not to fall flat on his face. Nat smirked at him. 

With them now all standing in the yard, the very place that Bucky had been the night before, Alpine trotted back over, chirped at them and swished her tail.

“Okay,” said Steve, back in full-blown ‘large and in charge’ mode, which made Bucky’s heart pound loudly in his chest. “Let’s split up. Sam, Nat. You check the yard. Me, Buck and Alpine will go inside. Whoever finishes first joins up with the others. Let’s put an end to whatever this is.” They all nodded their agreement and Sam and Nat snuck off into the trees, black costumes helping them blend right into the shadows. 

Bucky turned to Steve and took his hand with a smile. “Do you think you’ll need an invitation to step over the threshold?”

“Ha ha, Buck. Come on.”

The front steps creaked ominously as they walked up them. Bucky clung to Steve’s back, now starting to feel a little creeped out.The only thing stopping him from going into full blown panic was wondering how Steve could be so calm and collected while his nipples were exposed and currently pointy enough to cut glass. “What do you think we’ll find in there, Steve?” Bucky asked. “A monster?”

“Pphht. It can’t be that scary.” Steve pushed open the front door, and they walked into the gloomy interior.

Something brushed up against Bucky’s leg and he let out a shriek that he quickly muffled with his hands. Looking down he saw Alpine’s reflective eyes looking back at him. Letting out a sigh of relief, Bucky bent down and picked her up. She wiggled out of his arms and settled on his fur-cape covered shoulder. 

“You wanna be close too, princess? I don’t blame you.”

He pulled out his phone and turned on the flashlight, sweeping it back and forth across the floor and walls. The house was still furnished, with thick layers of dust covering every flat surface. When old man Borson had died neither his daughter or two sons had really wanted anything to do with him or his things. It was sad, really.

Suddenly a noise ripped through the air, something akin to a hiss crossed with a scream. The two young men came to a halt.

“What on earth?” Bucky felt Steve’s voice rumble in his chest as he buried his head into Steve’s back.

“I don’t like this, Steve.” He remembered the fear and disorientation that he’d felt last night and tried to repress a full body shudder. 

The noise sounded again and they turned their heads towards the stairwell. The sound was coming from above them. As their eyes adjusted to the gloom, a green glow could clearly be seen. Bucky gulped.

“We’re gonna go up there, aren’t we?”

“We gotta, Buck. We gotta do this for Clint and Laura, and the others who were hurt before them.”

Bucky nodded against Steve’s back. He could do this. 

Slowly they walked towards the stairs, making their way up, one step at a time. The unnatural glowing got more intense and while there were no more screams, the ominous hissing got louder and louder. They crept, one foot after the other, closer and closer towards the partially open door at the end of the corridor, Bucky’s fingers curled around Steve’s red, spandex singlet. Steve stopped, one hand raised a hair’s-breadth from the old, scarred wood and looked at Bucky. His eyes looked strange under the eerie glow, but he looked so sure, so brave that Bucky knew he’d follow Steve anywhere, even if he did currently look like a cross between Bela Lugosi and Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart. Bucky gave him a small nod, and Steve pushed the door.

The creature stood there, illuminated by its sickly green glow. Its face had two dark eyes, but where its mouth was, it seemed as though it had half-swallowed some kind of squid. Tentacles curled down around its chin, glistening with slime. It had two long arms, ending with three fingers and claws, which it raised menacingly at the two young men. 

Bucky and Steve lept in the air as it screamed, that ear-piercing sound combined with a hiss. They screamed in return, filled with terror and Alpine leapt down from Bucky’s shoulder, hair on end, hissing and spitting. They all turned tail and ran. Alpine was in front, her four legs carrying her faster and far more elegantly than either Steve or Bucky. Next was Steve, barrelling forward, clasping Bucky’s smaller hand in his, practically dragging him along behind. Bucky stumbled, bringing up the rear. He kept turning his head, shrieking incoherently as he realised the monster was right behind them. 

They thundered down the stairs, across the entrance hallway and out of the front door, Steve almost ripping it from the hinges as he pulled it open.

“Nat! Sam!” Steve shouted out for their friends as he dragged Bucky across the lawn.

“Here!” They heard Nat shout and turned to see her standing by the trees at the bottom of the yard - the place where they’d found Bucky yesterday. She waved them towards her. “This way!”

They turned toward her and carried on running. “He’s still coming,” Bucky wailed. What he wouldn’t give to be an actual werewolf right now. He could rip out its throat or something. They stumbled into the shrubbery, Nat having melted back into the darkness. Why did she want them to go this way? Surely it would have just been better to escape by running out the front gate and heading back to the van?

They ran between two trees, and as they did so, they heard Sam shout out.

“Now!”

Instinctually, Bucky and Steve came to a halt and turned around. The monster was bearing down on them, getting closer, when suddenly it tripped on something and crashed to the ground. Immediately, Nat launched herself from the shadows and landed on the creature’s back. She jerked his arms up and cuffed them together. At the same time Alpine leapt down from a tree, landing on the creature's head. She dug her claws into its skull and it let out an all too human type of noise.

“What the heck?” Bucky was dumbfounded. What just happened? Where had Nat found handcuffs? Why wasn’t she scared? She stood up, brushing loose dirt from her pleather outfit and sauntered over to Bucky. 

“We used a tripwire from Sam’s utility belt. The handcuffs are also part of Sam’s costume and I wasn’t scared because of what he and I found in the shed before you two wusses came shooting out of the house.” She patted Bucky’s cheek and he wondered if she’d read his mind or whether he’d actually spoken out loud.

Steve, choosing to ignore Nat’s teasing comment, looked down at the struggling creature in the dirt. “What did you find?”

Sam placed a booted foot in the small of the creature’s back, pinning it to the floor and trained his phone flashlight on it. “We found costume making supplies. And glow sticks. Lots and lots of green glow sticks.”

“Plus instructions on how to make a small speaker. Cos-play stuff really,” Nat chimed in, adding her flashlight to the mix.

“But that means…” Bucky’s jaw dropped and he strode over to their struggling captive, dropping into a crouch. “This isn’t a monster at all. It’s someone dressed up and trying to scare everyone. Just like the Dean and Professor Zemo said. But who?” 

Sam helped him to manhandle the creature into a sitting position, and now he was up close, seeing it lit up and having his hands on it, Bucky could clearly see the rubber and foam, the stitch marks and the little channels that had been made in the outside to house the multitude of glowsticks. Alpine came and sat down next to him, licking at a paw nonchalantly.

“Right - let’s see who you are.” Bucky grabbed hold of the monster’s head, soft and squishy rubber under his hand, and pulled to reveal…

“Professor Zemo!” The four of them exclaimed in shock.

The professor’s dark hair was plastered over his forehead, and in the torchlight his brown eyes gleamed with frustration.

“Yes, it’s me.” His lip turned up in a snarl and if he weren’t handcuffed, Bucky would have been reluctant to be this close to him.

“But why? What on earth do you get from scaring college students?”

“While I did enjoy a little of the karma from scaring some of your peers witless, it was more that I needed the house prices to come down. I wanted to buy the Borson house, but do you know how little a college professor makes? It was starting to work, too. The price had already been slashed once. I’d have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you pesky kids.”

They all looked at him, dumbfounded, until Steve spoke up.

“Respectfully, Sir, that is really fucked up. Buck, sweetheart, can you call the police?”

“You kiss your momma with that mouth, Stevie?” Bucky sniggered, taken aback by Steve’s uncharacteristic swearing.

“No, but I’ll kiss my boyfriend with it.”

And he did. Just a vampire kissing his werewolf boyfriend in a dark, haunted stand of trees.

Sam made gagging sounds.

Nat called the cops.

Alpine purred.

The end.

Bonus: - They finally get to the party and have a fabulous time.

Tag list: @christywrites, @alexakeyloveloki, @doasyoudesireandlive, @galactusdevourerofworlds, @km-ffluv