#he’s had one really bad episode before where we had to call an ambulance

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

.

[byersbootyshorts]

Blood and Tears (S.R.)

When Spencer takes a bullet for you, you struggle to come to terms with what’s just happened.

Word Count: 1,773

Warnings: s9!Spencer, gn!reader, angst, fluff at the end, Spencer getting shot, reader crying, a lot of blood, hospital

this doesn’t really follow the canon episode but I don’t care

You were in the middle of a shootout with a potential unsub. Bullets were flying everywhere and you had no idea where any of your teammates were. You were shooting blind into the building in front of you with no clue as to what your bullets were actually hitting. You heard a shout behind you and instinctually looked around towards the source of the cry. A cop had been hit in the shoulder and was writhing on the ground. The sudden sight of the injured cop caught you so off guard that you almost forgot there were bullets hurtling towards you, until you heard someone shout, “Y/N, watch out!”

And that was when everything started to go blurry. The voice you heard was Spencer’s, warning you of a bullet that was headed straight for you. And now that same bullet was lodged in his neck. He lay bleeding on the ground in front of you. You felt like you were in a trance, moving in slow motion as you dragged his limp body behind an SUV. Spencer’s eyes drifted shut and his breath hitched.

“Hey, Spence, keep your eyes on me,” you said frantically.

You pressed your hand firmly against his wound to try to stop the bleeding but blood still seeped between your fingers and showed no signs of stopping. Spencer kept his eyes open for only a few seconds before he began to lose consciousness.

“No, no, Spencer. Do not shut your eyes. Please, Spencer, look at me,” you panicked.

But his eyes stayed shut.

“Medic! I need a medic!” you screamed at the top of your lungs. You knew you should’ve called for help earlier but you as soon as you saw Spencer fall to the ground it was as if your brain stopped functioning.

“Spencer, open your eyes,” you urged him. “Hurry! Over here!” you called to some silhouettes in the distance who you hoped were medics.

Eventually the medics ran over to you and lifted Spencer onto a stretcher. You held his hand as the medics carried him to the ambulance and didn’t let go as they hoisted him into the back of the vehicle and started speeding to the hospital.

Everything was moving so fast. You could barely breathe. Your whole body was trembling with fear, shock and terror. You tried to make sense of the events that had just unfolded but you couldn’t seem to clear the fog that was clouding your brain. You hoped with every atom in your body that this was all just a bad dream and that you’d wake up to find Spencer lying safely next to you.

But while you didn’t wake up, Spencer did. His eyes opened just a crack and he mumbled incoherently, but at least he was awake. For a moment you felt like you weren’t in a nightmare. You felt that maybe he’d just get up as if nothing happened.

“Spencer, I’m right here. You’re ok,” you said, squeezing his hand.

But just as you felt relief wash over you there was a sudden beeping of machinery.

“Pressure’s dropping. Pulse is threading. Starting a large bore IV,” one of the medics quickly rambled.

“Huh?” you breathed, unable to comprehend what the medic was saying.

“Agent, you need to stand back,” the other medic ordered you.

You moved to the back of the ambulance and sat with your head in your hands, rocking back and forth.

“Stay with me. God, please stay with me, Spence,” you mumbled to yourself.

It wasn’t long (although to you it felt like hours) until you arrived at the hospital. More medics opened the doors of the ambulance and swiftly moved Spencer onto a gurney. Once again, you grabbed his hand as he was wheeled through the tall glass doors of the hospital. You raced down endless hallways until you reached the door to the operating room.

“Agent, you can’t come in here,” a surgeon told you.

“But, I-,” you began, but in your mind you knew you couldn’t be in there with him.

“I’m sorry. We’ll do everything we can,” the surgeon said as you let go of Spencer’s hand and watched as he disappeared into the operating room.

You didn’t know where to go so you slumped against a wall and onto the floor in the hallway that led to where Spencer was in surgery. About thirty minutes passed and you didn’t move from your position. You had your head between your knees. You couldn’t think. Your mind was reeling, trying to make sense of what had happened. You had heard Spencer shout. And then all of a sudden he was on the ground with blood spewing out of his neck. And then it hit you. That bullet was meant for you. He had tried to warn you and then jumped in front of you.

Before you had time to process your new realisation you heard familiar voices coming your way.

“Y/N, you ok?” Alex asked, her eyebrows furrowed with concern.

 You looked up to see your team standing above you. All of them shared Alex’s worried expression.

“Spencer,” was all you could manage to mumble.

“We know,” Hotch said. “How long has he been in surgery?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered. Morgan leaned down beside you and helped you off the floor. You noticed the bandage around his arm. Still, your teammates maintained their concerned expressions.

“Hey, how about we go get you cleaned up?” JJ asked softly, holding out her hand to you.

“What?” you said, not understanding why you needed to be ‘cleaned up’. JJ grabbed your hand and for the first time you saw it.

You looked down at your hands and saw that they were covered in blood. Your sleeves were drenched red. You could only imagine what your face looked like considering you’d been sitting with your head in your hands. Your entire face was probably stained with blood.

Spencer’s blood. Not your blood. Spencer’s.

And that’s when everything came crashing down on you. The fact that Spencer had saved your life. The fact that he was in critical condition, fighting for his life because he took a bullet that was meant for you. The fact that you were covered in his blood. So much blood you couldn’t fathom how he could possibly still be alive.

Every realisation hit you at once and, for the first time, you cried. A loud sob escaped you and you almost fell to the floor before Alex caught you and pulled you into a hug. You were staining her clothes with blood but you didn’t care. You wept into her shoulder and she rubbed your back gently.

When you pulled away from her she said, “Why don’t you go with JJ now?” You did as she asked and followed JJ down the hallway, further and further away from Spencer.

It had been hours. JJ had helped wash the blood off you and got you a change of clothes. Once you’d started crying it had been hard to stop. Your body was alternating between sobbing and going numb. Different members of the team had come over and attempted to comfort you but you couldn’t concentrate on what they were saying. All you could focus on was the door that you hoped a doctor would walk through to tell you Spencer was out of surgery.

And finally, a doctor appeared.

“Spencer Reid,” he announced to the waiting room.

“Yes,” you said, practically leaping from your chair. The whole team crowded around the doctor.

“He’s stable.”

Every one of you sighed in relief. A tear rolled down your face and Morgan rubbed your arm.

“I knew that kid was a fighter,” Rossi smiled.

“Can I see him,” you asked, your throat hoarse from shouting and crying.

“He’s not awake yet, but yes, you can see him,” the doctor said.

He led you down more narrow corridors to a recovery room. When you entered you saw Spencer lying unconscious on the bed. His neck was wrapped with bandages and his face was paler than you’d ever seen it. But apart from that he looked no different than how he looked before being shot.

You darted across the room and pulled a chair over to the bedside. You laced your fingers in his and couldn’t help but cry again. Except this time they weren’t tears of sadness, but tears of relief.

You laid your head on the bed, your hand still holding his, waiting for him to wake up. You had no idea how long you’d been there when you felt Spencer’s fingers start to twitch against your hand. You whipped your head up from the sheets to see Spencer’s eyes slowly flicker open.

“Oh my God,” you sniffed.

Spencer turned his head towards you, trying to figure out where he was. When he finally got his bearings he smiled tiredly at you.

“Why are you crying? I’m the one who got shot,” he said groggily, wiping a tear from your cheek.

You let out a choked chuckle and kissed his hand.

“It’s kind of hard not to cry when you don’t know if the man you love is dead or alive,” you replied.

“Well, I’m pretty sure I’m alive,” Spencer smiled weakly up at you.

You stared into his eyes for a moment, so happy to see them open again. Spencer shifted in the bed slightly and winced when he moved his neck.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” you said, helping him readjust his pillows.

“Done what?” Spencer asked, as if it wasn’t obvious.

“That bullet was meant for me.”

“I’m not sorry,” Spencer said bluntly.

“Well, you should be,” you told him off. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“Hmm, I’m not really in a rush to try it again. Once was enough for me,” Spencer joked.

“I’m serious, Spence. I cannot lose you,” you said, placing your hand on his chest. “I love you.”

“I love you too. That’s why I took that bullet for you.”

You took a deep breath and finally allowed your muscles to relax. You closed your eyes and took a moment to let all the stress of the past couple of hours drain from your body. When you opened your eyes again, Spencer was staring up at you longingly.

“Now, can you please kiss me because I want to kiss you but I can’t really move,” he said, pointing at his bandages.

“If you insist,” you smiled, leaning down gently, making sure not to move his neck too much. You placed your lips on his and tried to forget all the blood and tears you’d just endured.

[sunlightnmoonshine]

Okay so I've had time to calm down and think of ways to make eunseong eat dirt and so now to the positives of this episode which was completely overshadowed by those awful 15 minutes.

- baekhong, how far they've come. To me this was one of their strongest episodes, one because it was truly the most vulnerable we had seen of them together and that scene outside the hospital and then outside the church oof??? The way I could feel the pain, the way I could understand where each was coming from and the way it just hurt because you want only good for them, most importantly though it was the way they were finally communicating with each other and knew why the other was behaving the way that were and were making active efforts to be there for each other irrespective of what they felt.

- at first I had whiplash at how they kept going from tears to just casually hanging out with each other, but it just made so much sense? Like here they are, not walking away but are dealing with the pain together, hyunwoo still trying to convince her but also just being there for her, and haein not wanting to budge but also entertaining hyunwoo's antiques because this is how they work through things, they cry, but they still stay by each other, they try to understand, the effort is all.

- hyunwoo's reaction after the accident deserves special mention but lol what even was that accident, nothing but shock factor and the way they hired that one white dude to just casually be like oh my god lemme call an ambulance and then disappear (bad bad writing) but I couldnt care about any of that because did you see the way kim soo hyun acted his heart out that scene????? Did you see the shortness of breath, the on the verge of a panic attack, the despair then the relief in his eyes, the crying, the way he held her?? The way I could feel every emotion and personally while I think the accident itself was stupid I found it poignant that haein changed her mind when she saw hyunwoo like this and we all know it's not because of the "ooh he looks so sad some lady will come hug him when he's crying after I die" but because haein herself has never seen hyunwoo like this, she saw entirely how destroyed he looked and felt when he thought she died and that hurt her more than anything and oof I just love these two, it's the way they just love each other so much and just want the other to be happy, in this moment haein said I'd hate to forget you but I'd hate it more if my death destroyed you and I think that speaks volumes.

- every other baekhong scene was gold lol, in the hospital, them just being domestic and just talking, the words they say before haein goes in for surgery (poorly written surgery, poorly written illness), the way hyunwoo just collapses once she's in - (and that's it I can't talk about the last 15 minutes lol even though there's a lot of baekhong glory there too).

- special mention for aunt beomja who really is a little ray of sunshine and for soocheol and his little family (I have issues with their bad qualities just being disregarded by this writer but that's for a different post).

Anyway, the ep is flawed just like every ep has been, it's clear the writer has no idea how to navigate complex plot lines and really should have just stuck to baekhong, because that's truly been worth the watch and has been very well written.

[ramblingroommate]

Part 2 of 911 episode 1x1 (part 1 here)

Okay so now that I’m sane again (lie) after finding out Ryan fucking Murphy is also behind this show and have accepted what that will probably mean for my mental state (another lie), I’m ready to get back to the episode (wariness levels are suddenly 100%)

Oh wait what? Really? I’ve been seeing this man’s face on my dashboard for the last two years and never realized he had a birthmark on his face? Well now I feel dumb lol

Wait he doesn’t run into burning buildings? Isn’t that the whole thing about being a firefighter? This might sound dumb but I’m asking because I actually found it weird when they went to save that one kid who almost drowned. Is it different in the u.s.? Because over here they would call an ambulance for strictly medical emergencies and the firefighters for fires or car crashes and things like that

I have to say the characterization that’s been established is pretty strong and interesting even from this early on! I mean… half of these characters have barely had any lines yet and I still feel like I know at least one thing about each one of them. That tracks now that I know Ryan Murphy is involved in this: his shows may have a thousand flaws but he (usually) has really strong great characters. Over the top perhaps, but great. Let’s see what we have so far:

Chimney is insecure so he lies to his girlfriend about the stuff he does at work. The fact that he met her on a dating website for people who are into people in uniforms (he’s basically her wet dream) and he still has to lie because he doesn’t feel interesting enough? That says A LOT

Hen is sassy and is always ready with a witty comeback. It may not seem like much but she has had exactly ONE line so far so… not that bad

Bobby is the easy going reliable captain who cares about the others but has a Secret Past TM. I know from the memes that the fandom calls Bobby the father of the group but twenty minutes in and he just straight up says it

Buck is the young reckless guy, he likes sleeping around and doesn’t take things as seriously as the others do. From what I’ve read over the years this apparently changes with his character development but right now that’s where we are

All of this and I’ve barely seen half the first episode! I can see why people like this show already. I’m a sucker for shows with well defined characters (and I like that a lot of their traits are coming up naturally)

A baby in a wall… is this a true story? Why does it sound familiar?

… he’s such an idiot, I love him already

I’m curious about this cop character and how they’re gonna handle her storylines. I’m saying this because I used to really really like police procedurals (castle, criminal minds, white collar, lie to me…) but then real life events turned me off them. This seems to be a show mainly about firefighters saving lives so there probably won’t be any over the top cop storylines. I’ll keep an open mind anyhow

No one kept the elevator door open, I like that sprinkle of realism.

Also I’m finding Buck’s character really interesting. First half of the first episode and he’s already been established as reckless and impulsive BUT also as responsible and careful with the baby. He is careless when he takes the fire truck out to get laid but he cares a lot when he is inside one trying to keep a newborn alive.

Yeah he definitely cares a lot but is also… naive? In a way? He got attached really quickly and needed Bobby to remind him that their job doesn’t reach beyond those doors.

I don’t know, I’ve read posts before talking about how much Buck cares about people and maybe I’m jumping ahead? It feels like that’s what they’re going for tho

Also I just realized: we’re never going to find out more about that young mother are we? We really are following the first responders point of view… after we reach the hospital it’s not our responsibility anymore.

Buck’s reaction to the mother is also really interesting because it was VERY unprofessional but also understandable in a very human way. Don’t get me wrong: he was 100% wrong and Athena was absolutely right in tearing him a new one, but he’s also young and saw something really awful. I like when characters are flawed and make bad decisions and the show can point out they are wrong while still not paint them as bad people.

Also, I like Athena. So far she’s the typical hardass cop we have seen before, but the actress portrays it really well

Well that was unexpected.

My first gay character on the gay firefighter show? Yay

Jokes aside, I didn’t expect this. The daughter reaction was pretty... unrealistic? I don't know. Going out of her way to say that she supports gay people IN GENERAL but not in this very specific case because it's their dad and there are going to be repercussions on them feels... a bit too scripted? Like... I can imagine two writers saying "make sure she says she supports gay rights and her anger has nothing to do with that or else people are gonna get mad".

She's a teenager and her parents have been fighting for days (or even weeks?) and she just found out her dad has been lying to them AND her parents are probably gonna divorce (even if they say otherwise)... it doesn't feel realistic that IN THAT MOMENT she would be going out of her way to make sure everyone knows she supports gay rights and that's not what she's angry about. That is a conversation that could have come up later on? I don't know, it also feels like I'm getting stuck on a detail that's not really important so I'll shut up now.

This feels like a more realistic reaction! She is clearly a very proud woman, so her feeling humiliated and lashing out makes sense. Also her acting is amazing.

Also this is getting wayyy too long so I'll make a third part.

[clonerightsagenda]

Ok, it is time.... the Promised Day in the college AU.

As I mentioned, election day coincides with a solar eclipse. The college is in the path of the totality, and people are streaming into town from all over, clogging the roads and destabilizing the Internet and cell service. This sounds like plot device bullshit, but this happened at my campus and for weeks beforehand administration kept sending us emails that made it sound like civilization was going to crumble when we had that many people trying to use the wifi.

At my school grad student presidents were elected by the graduate student government in a short and boring parliamentary process. That's not dramatic enough for this AU, so here it's a full graduate student vote that includes a final campaign speech by both candidates on the quad. Roy's election team (his housemates, Riza, Ed, and Greed) show up early to help get set up. Ling was supposed to be there but woke up to a low blood sugar episode and is in his dorm sulkily eating sugar packets Lan Fan got him from the dining hall. (How much of this au is autobiographical? Wouldn't you like to know.) Riza sends Greed to get everyone coffee under the logic that even if the lines are hellishly long, he won't give up because he'll want his coffee. This would normally be true, but he runs into Wrath in line at the first coffee place, gets into an argument with him, gets tossed out, and has to go find a different coffee place, so he's gone for ages.

While he's gone, Roy runs into Envy, who's helping Wrath set up for *his* speech. Envy foolishly makes a crack about Hughes that tips Roy off to their identity as the hacker. This is the thing Roy is sensitive about, and he threatens Envy with Riza's pepper spray before Riza yells at him that you can't just threaten to pepper spray undergraduates!! Is this presidential behavior?? He comes to his senses, returns the pepper spray, and rubs his face. Unfortunately the pepper spray had leaked a little, he gets it into his eyes, and Riza has to half carry him to one of the folding chairs they just set up. This also may have happened to me. Not the threatening an undergraduate bit though. Wash your hands after handling pepper spray.

MEANWHILE Al intends to join up with the rest of Roy's campaign team in a while, but it's his week to take care of the vet program's animals, so he's way down at the vet building (a good distance from the main campus) along with Mei. There, he has one of his attacks, the worst yet, and faints. Mei freaks, tries to call Ed, doesn't get through because of the network usage, and tries calling Ling instead with the assumption that they're together. Ling has a much better phone and picks up, but he's still in his dorm room. Mei gives him a garbled report on the situation (she knew Al was having health issues, but she doesn't think this is normal, it could be bad) and Ling, who is still woozy from low blood sugar and unfortunately unsupervised because Lan Fan left to go get some juice, has a 'no time to think, have to trust my instincts, instincts bad' moment. Wrath's car keys are on the table. (Greed stole them for the sixth time so far this semester and Wrath hasn't been by to get them back yet. Yes, those were Chekhov's car keys earlier.) He knows where the chancellor's residence is, and he can get there a lot faster than they're likely to get through to emergency services and have an ambulance get all the way to the vet school. It's only borrowing, right?

No, it is not only borrowing. Also he is an international student and a college freshman so he definitely doesn't have a US license and may only have a theoretical understanding of driving. But that's not gonna stop him.

So, Mei is freaking the fuck out at the vet school until a car that her brother definitely does not own screeches out front. Al is semi awake but not really aware of anything, but they manage to get him into the back and then tear off toward the university hospital. As they near the main campus they pass Wrath, who goes 'is that my car?', tries to stop them, and then has to jump out of the way before he gets a good look at who's behind the wheel.

"What's happening?" Al says woozily from the back seat.

"I-almost-hit-the-president" Ling says through clenched teeth.

"Nothing" says Mei.

When they get to the hospital, the front desk person insists only family can go up with Al. Ling, aware of how many creative ways chemistry major Ed could poison him if he lets his brother out of his sight, goes "It's fine, I'm his cousin."

The desk worker looks at him skeptically.

"Adopted," he clarifies. "Also this is my half sister so she's... his half cousin?"

The desk attendant is still skeptical, but they're a student worker who skimmed the mandatory HIPAA training and there's an eclipse happening in 5 minutes that they don't want to miss because they're arguing with hysterical teenagers, so they wave them through.

And this is getting super long and my cornbread is about to be done, so I guess this will be a two parter! Stay tuned.

[ketso]

Episode 59

I'm packing lunch boxes for the kids when Ntuthuko attacks me with a huge slap on my ass. I honestly just look at him because really... first of all, why is he walking around topless? He has just his tracksuit pants on. Worse, it's raining. I'm wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt that's tucked into my denim pants.

Secondly, why am I being sexually harassed so early in the morning? I gave him sex last night and this morning. Is he not satisfied?

"Maphumulo, kuyabanda. And you know how you get when you are sick." I say.

"Hai mahn, why are you fighting so early in the morning? After unginike kamnandi so?"

I just laugh.

"Lalela... when is my dad's sick child arriving?"

He gives me a weird look. That's not my brother, please.

"Don't look at me like that! My mother is currently not talking to me because of this shit. So please!"

"The ambulance arrived at King Tau Hospital this morning... just before 2am. I'll go see him after we've dropped the kids off at school. Actually, WE will go see him together." He says.

"Ntuthuko, ungazongifaka mina lapho. Angiyi lapho mina", I say.

"Tamia... I'm your husband and I've spoken."

"And?!" I mean really... he's going to behave like I must yebo baba him now.

"I'm asking you to allow me to lead us with this."

"Ntuthuko, angisho ngivumile ukuthi sisize le ngane? Ngivumile ukuthi usize ubaba ngalamanyala. What more do you want from me?"

He gives me a disapproving look.

"Hai ngeke, Ntuthuko." I say.

My phone rings.

It's my brother, Ntokozo. The one I come after.

I answer the phone and put it on speaker.

He starts eating a sandwich that is MEANT TO BE LUNCH FOR THE KIDS!

I've made him breakfast. Kanti yini vele?

"Ntokozo, hey." I pay attention to my phone.

"Nonkanyiso, kunjani?"

"I'm fine. Unjani wena?"

"Kubi sisi. Mom has been arrested."

"What?!" Me.

Even Ntuthuko stops eating and looks at me with shock. Now we both focus on my phone.

"She went to Ermelo to attack uncane for ncane's child being helped by you and uNtuthuko. Things got out of hand, bashayana. Mom poured ncane with boiling water that had sugar. Apparently, ncane's skin is not only peeling off, but ncane could die. Her burns are really bad and she's in a government hospital."

"Uphi ubaba, Ntokozo?"

"Trying to negotiate with the police to let mom go and possibly make the docket go away."

I actually feel like shit.

"Ntokozo, I'll call you back." I say then hang up.

Ntuthuko tries to comfort me with a hug.

"I knew something like this would happen", I say. And I'm irritated.

"Ubaba is selfish! He's fucken selfish! He knew that Mom wouldn't be okay with him doing this. Ubaba uyakhohlwa ukuthi le vezandlebe yakhe le is a symbol of his WORST betrayal to our family! Now he's dragged all of us into his shit and my mom could be looking at prison time because of this." I keep going off.

"Baby, let me talk to ubaba." He says.

"And say what to him, Ntuthuko? Uzothini kuye? This is just a fucken mess!" I say then finish off lunch boxes and prepare to take the kids to school.

Ntuthuko is driving with us today. I'm just super pissed off. Ntuthuko doesn't know how to be. The kids are having their own conversations at the back. Even Sihle is featuring herself with her developing language.

Bonga: "My teacher says Friday is the all day school trip day."

Thuli: "Oh ja, I heard about that. My grade is going to the royal house's highest court. That's so exciting."

Bonga: "Why is that exciting? Court? Isn't that where people fight a lot and they pay people a lot of money to fight for them?"

Thuli: "They pay lawyers when their rights have been violated. Mama is a lawyer. But mama, how come you don't go to court and fight?"

Ntuthuko and I giggle.

"I'm a corporate attorney, nana", I say.

"What is that?" Thuli asks me.

"I'm a lawyer that helps companies through their deals... I make sure they make their money ethically and that the people they go into business with don't put them in compromising positions legally. Then when companies are being sued, I have to protect them using the law." I say.

"What does sue mean?" Bonga.

"It's when you take people to court to pay you for something that you are not happy with that's related to their product or service. So if I sell ice-cream and you buy ice-cream from me then get sick because of my ice-cream, you can sue me."

Nkosana starts laughing then says, "My teacher's name is Sue. I must tell her that I'll sue her for having such boring classes."

We actually all laugh. But I hope he doesn't do that. Please.

"Nina niyaphi nge-trip yenu, Nkosana?" Ntuthuko.

"To the royal cemetery. They'll be teaching us about the history of the royal leadership in the kingdom, then teaching us about the difference between royal leadership and government leadership." Nkosana.

"Now that's very interesting." I say.

"Ja. My girlfriend asked me to bring enough lunch money for both me and her... and her friends. Mara I told her she's mad." Nkosana.

Bonga is in stitches.

"I don't like that girl." Thuli says.

Ntuthuko is so chuffed by this.

I'm just... concerned.

"Why did you tell her she's mad?" Ntuthuko asks.

"Her friends are not my girlfriends. And naye I'm not married to her. Angisho wena baba you only give mama money and do nice things for her because you are married? So, I'm not married. So I told her that I'll buy her one thing only then the rest of the money is mine. Phela ngisase impohla mina", Nkosana is Ntuthuko’s son.

Ntuthuko and I just burst into laughter.

"Why don't you like her, Thuli?" I ask.

"She's too forward. She doesn't even look like she will pass her subjects at the end of the year. She has ghetto girl mentality." Thuli says.

"What's ghetto girl mentality?" Ntuthuko.

"I once asked her what she brings to the table in her relationship with Nkosana and how she sees herself building with him in the future." Thuli.

"Ay nawe. We are only in grade six, you know?" Nkosana.

"So, I'm in grade seven. But I already know that I'm not trying to be a leech one day." Thuli.

Ntuthuko and I look at each other.

Bonga is just laughing so hard. I wonder what he's finding so funny.

"So what was her answer?" I ask.

"She said she will do her part at being beautiful for her husband. But he needs to make sure that she's well taken care of... like her mom. I asked her why she's in school then if she's going to spend the rest of her life depending on a husband for panties and pads. She told me ukuthi ngiyaqina. Intombi yakho is ghetto, Nkosana. You deserve better." Thuli.

Ntuthuko is almost in disbelief. Then he says, "oksalayo, Nkosana... you can't be in a relationship with someone that doesn't get along with your mother or your sisters. So if udelela usisi wakho omdala, mkhuze or mlahle. Siyezwana?"

Nkosana begrudgingly agrees. But you can just tell that he blames big sister Thuli for the argument or conflict.

-

We've dropped the kids off at school and now we are driving to the hospital. I don't understand why I'm being dragged into this. I don't want any part of it. My mom is still in prison. But someone in her family who is "Team Homewrecking Ncane" sold the story to the media. My mom being the wife of the well-known business giant in Mpumalanga that is closely affiliated to government in South Africa and Tholoana Kingdom... she's trending everywhere right now. I'm just embarrassed and annoyed. Very annoyed to be exact.

Even our car ride is silent.

"I might need to go home", I tell Ntuthuko.

He's silent.

"I have to be there for my mom in court", I say.

"We will all go", he says.

"If ncane dies, this child is not staying with us, Ntuthuko."

He's silent.

"Angidlali." I say.

"Ngiyazi ukuthi awudlali. Kodwa... uthi ayephi, baby? You know very well that your mother doesn't want him. Your mother could leave your dad. Is that what you want?"

"Manje ucabanga ukuthi mina ngiyam'funa?!"

"Tamia, your dad made a mistake many years ago."

"Then he must make a plan! Singenaphi thina kulamanyala wakhe? Why is it a community project to fix his shit that he did willingly without a care in the world about how it would affect his family? Ubaba makawuthwale umvuso wamanyala wakhe."

He's quiet.

"Or maybe he can go and live with all those relatives that hate my mother, got her arrested and are now blasting her all over the media for imali yesinkwa". I say.

Now he gives me a judgy look.

I fold my arms then look out the window.

“I’ll wait in the car”, I say as we park outside the hospital.

“Tamia, ngicela singene phakathi. Please, Sthandwa Sami.”

I look at him.

He kisses me. Then he says, “Please, baby wami”.

I just get out of the car.

…

This is your weekly reminder to NOT HAVE CHILDREN OUT OF WEDLOCK! Especially if you are already married and especially if you know that your woman has an untapped level or potential of crazy that will keep you in a state of “yoh” for longer than twenty-four hours.

My dad is here with us at the hospital. Wandi drove him here. When Tamia saw Wandi and Melo, she left to go chill with them at the hospital entrance area. Anything to avoid dealing with this. I’m glad my dad is here with me because I honestly don’t know what to do.

Uncle Maboko arrives with Khabane as we await to hear some news about Tamia’s brother that Tamia herself doesn’t give a fuck about.

Mess!

This is a mess!

“Any news about the boy?” Uncle Maboko asks.

“We are still waiting. Is it supposed to take this long?” My dad.

“Don’t think like that, pope. Move your mind away from there”, Khabane.

We are quiet.

“Ona and Khotso are in Ermelo. They’ve confirmed that Tamia’s mother is out of prison. So that’s one good thing. But there’s a whole shit storm happening right now.” Uncle Maboko.

“What shit storm?” Me.

“The boy’s mother passed away”, Khabane.

I just hold onto my head.

The worst that could happen in this situation is actually happening.

“Now, the mom’s family is expecting Tamia’s mother to pay for the funeral. And you know that they don’t have much. Tamia’s mother has told Tamia’s dad that if he so much as contributes 10cents to that funeral, she’s leaving him. She has refused to pay and everyone is shit scared to ask his kids to pay.” Khabane.

“Ona thought that maybe we could help… but it has to be Ntuthuko’s call.” Uncle Maboko.

“Hai bo! Why me? I also don’t want that responsibility. I also received threats of my own from my wife.” I say.

“Exactly. Uncle Khotso said that if we help, it will be as if you are helping. So the question is, are you prepared to deal with Tamia after all of that?” Khabane.

I take a deep breath.

This is so difficult. Yerrr!

We finally see a nurse and a doctor approach us.

We all look up at them.

“What’s taking so long?” I ask.

“It was a difficult and long surgery, sir. We are almost there. We just have a slight problem.”

“What problem?” Me.

“He lost a lot of blood and he will need a blood transfusion. We have started looking for donours, but if he has a sibling or family member close by that’s prepared to be tested, it would be helpful.”

Who’s going to go and ask Tamia? Everyone is looking at me as if I’m the one who’s expected to go and ask her. Listen here, I’m a wise man who doesn’t believe in suicide. I’m not that brave!

…

It is 8pm now.

We are at home.

There’s chaos upstairs. This is the loudest hour in my house. Tamia is trying to get these kids bathed and ready for bed. Thuli and Nkosana have an extra hour to stay awake because they have to put in an hour of studying every night. Nkosana once asked Tamia what he must study if he has no tests and knows all his work. Tamia told him to go into her study, get a dictionary or that massive book she calls the Bill of Rights. That book is bigger than two bibles stacked together. Nkosana had something to study every night since that day. I don’t blame him at all. Thuli is the one who likes to read Tamia’s law books. Sometimes, I get the sense that she just might want to be a lawyer one day. What I like is that Tamia encourages her. Tamia buys her legal books that are age-friendly for her. Tamia will make her read the school’s rules and policies then they go over those documents with highlighters and pencils, understanding what each one means and when will one know when a rule has been broken. Kunzima!

Mam’Khumalo is back home. She’s still not talking to Tamia, but at least the brother will live. We paid a lot of money for him to jump the cue and get blood asap. No one was brave enough to ask Tamia for blood, not even Wandi. And Wandi fears nothing. I don’t know what’s going to happen with the funeral. But I’m not getting involved.

My phone rings. It’s a number I don’t recognise.

“Hello?” I answer my phone.

“Ntuthuko, sawubona.”

I’m silent.

It’s Sihle’s mother.

“Injani bandla ingane yami?” She asks me.

“Uright. Uyakhula. Uyaphila.” I say.

“Ngiyabona. Angazi noma ngiyaqina or kanjani… but I was wondering if I could spend the day with her? I’m in Tholoana Kingdom for a funeral of a colleague and we will be here for an extra day after the funeral. If it’s okay, I’d like to see my child and spend the day with her.” She says.

“I don’t think that would be an issue”, I say.

“Are you sure? Because your wife has made us -

“Don’t disrespect my wife. I’ll hang this phone up right now.”

“Ngiyaxolisa. It’s just… I’ve been reduced to this in my daughter’s life. It’s not easy.” She says.

“I’ll speak to Tamia about you getting Sihle for the day. When do you plan on coming through?”

“Tomorrow”, she says.

“She has school.” I remind her.

“Ngiyakucela Ntuthuko. Please. I’m on my knees, begging you.” She says.

“Let me talk to T. I’ll call you back.”

I hang up.

Izinkinga zami azipheli.

-

Tamia was actually not difficult about Sihle’s mother coming over to spend the day with Sihle. I’ve driven the other three to school. I’m headed back home now because I don’t want a street fight breaking out in front of my 3 year old.

As I get to the gate, I see Sihle’s mother standing here already. I also see one of the domestic workers making her way to the gate with a golf cart to fetch her. So Tamia knows she’s here too. I’d offer her a lift to the door, but I’d like to be married still at the end of this episode.

I drive in, park my car, then make my way to the house. I see the golf-cart still strolling into the driveway. Our driveway is quite big and long. The gate is quite far.

I find Tamia already sitting with Sihle in the TV room. She’s actually nervous.

I sit next to her.

I rub her back and kiss her.

“Do you think she will take her back?” Tamia asks me.

“It’s just a visit, baby.” I say, kissing her.

She nods her head.

There’s a knock on the door. Then the domestic worker leads her in.

“Sanibonani”, she greets us, but her eyes are focused on Sihle.

“Hi”, Tamia says with a smile… standing up and heading to her. This, I did not expect. Neither did Khethiwe and I can just see the shock on her face.

Then…

Sihle refuses to leave Tamia’s arms and go to Khethiwe. Khethiwe is so hurt.

“She’s forgot all about me vele?” Khethiwe.

“Just sit down and relax. She will adjust.” Tamia tries to reassure her.

I say nothing.

Khethiwe wants to cry.

“We can maybe have breakfast?” Tamia.

Khethiwe gives half a smile and nods her head.

Tamia gives Sihle to me then heads to the kitchen.

“Ingane yami le, Ntuthuko. Why doesn’t she remember me?” Khethiwe asks me.

“Mnike isikhathi. She hasn’t seen you in a long time. She will remember you.” I say.

“This is unfair.” She says.

She looks different. I can’t put my finger on it, kodwa she’s different.

Tamia walks in with a tray of food. One of our domestic workers are right behind her. Sihle is put in her playpen then us adults eat.

Khethiwe will not take her eyes off Sihle. She’s enjoying watching Sihle play and become more and more sharp.

“So how have you been?” Tamia asks her. She’s trying shame.

“I’ve been okay. Thanks. I also wanted to tell you that I’m getting married.” Khethiwe.

Yoh. Okay.

“That’s nice.” Tamia.

“Ja. He impregnated me, so the church laws state that we must get married to defend isthunzi sengane. He’s one of the leaders at church.”

I have so many questions, but I shall exercise my right to remain silent. I married a lawyer.

“Do you love him?” Tamia asks. She knows nothing about exercising her right to remain silent this one.

Khethiwe shakes her head and says, “Cha. He doesn’t even know that I have Sihle. He thinks this child that I’m carrying is my first.”

Uvele ubone ukuthi weeeeeehhhhh!!!

“Are you going to tell him about Sihle?” Tamia. Why is she entertaining this?

“What would be the point? Sihle is yours now. This baby is my second chance at being a mother. Besides, I’ll be his fourth wife.”

Ai ai ai!

Tamia looks at me.

I’m not getting involved.

“I love my daughter. I always will.” Khethiwe.

“We understand”, Tamia.

She alone understands. I don’t understand but hey, I don’t care.

“You can come and secretly see her anytime.” Tamia.

She must have the same sympathy towards her brother and stop misplacing it namahlanya.

“Ngiyabonga”, Khethiwe.

This is just awkward!

[the-bau-quinjet]

heyyy. I know you’ve been doing marvel a lot, but if you could do one with morgan and the reader? Based on amplification and it’s the reader who gets sick instead. thanks!

Finally

Warnings: some mentions of being sick (cause... you know... anthrax), angst and fluff :)

Word Count: 2735

a/n: My first Morgan fic!! I love him so much! This one took me a while because 1) I feel like I'm not that good at rewriting episodes, and 2) I wanted to get Derek's character right. Hopefully it's not too terrible! I hope you enjoy!! :)

Masterlist

"Rossi, Prentiss head to his office. Morgan, get Reid and L/N from the hospital and check out his house." Hotch instructed as soon as Dr. Nichols was deemed a reasonable suspect.

It wasn't long before you, Reid, and Morgan were pulling up outside of Dr. Nichols house.

"It's clear so far. I'll let you know when we're done checking." One of the CDC techs said through a walkie.

"We should look around a bit." Reid started down the driveway, gesturing for you and Morgan to follow.

"Ow!" You flinched away from the rose bush, shaking your hand in an attempt to lessen the pain.

"You good?" Morgan eyed you, overly concerned about a small scrape.

"I'm fine. Promise." You winked, walking past him and Reid to check for anything out of the ordinary in the backyard.

"I don't understand why you haven't asked her out yet." Reid looked between you and Morgan. Unfortunately, Morgan was saved from answering by the sound of his phone ringing.

"Hey, princess what do you have?" Morgan greeted Garcia, glaring at Reid.

You continued to explore while Derek and Reid talked to Garcia. It wasn't until after you entered the shed-like building that you thought maybe the CDC should check for anthrax out here too.

By then it was too late.

"L/N?" You could hear Morgan calling you. "Y/N!" It was clear him and Reid were approaching the door you just walked through.

You ran back to the sliding glass door, slamming it shut and locking it before either of them could stop you.

"What's wrong?" He frantically ran up to the door.

"Get back! No, don't come any closer." Your eyes flitted between the two agents, landing solely on Derek when you muttered, "I'm sorry."

"Y/N, open the door..." Derek's typically powerful voice nearly broke as he watched you shake your head.

"I can't. I- I'm already exposed." You shook your head resolutely, convincing yourself this was the right move. "I'll look for anything that could help in here. It's the best move."

"Y/N, you need to go to the hospital." Derek put more power behind his words with hopes of convincing you.

"The hospital won't do anything for me. Nichols could've made a cure, and if he did it's probably in here." You tore your eyes from Derek, hoping Spencer would help you convince him. "Reid, tell him I'm right."

He looked conflicted, eyes flitting between you and Derek.

"She's right. The cipro isn't working on anyone infected. Her best chance is to stay in there and find something useful." Reid looked reluctantly at Derek.

"Then you better find a cure in there." Derek whispered, eyes lingering on you before he finally turned away to call Hotch.

-

"Morgan, Reid. How's L/N?" Hotch questioned immediately, forgoing any greeting.

"White powder all over the room and the air was blasting." Morgan responded quickly. He made brief eye contact with Hotch before turning to walk back to the door.

The general barked out instructions for a decontamination team and cordoning off the area.

"Get her in the ambulance." Hotch directed Morgan and Reid.

"She won't." Morgan felt his heart rate increase at the thought of you staying in there any longer. "Said she's more helpful inside than in the hospital."

"Nichols is dead, looks to be about 2-3 days." Reid added on.

Just then Hotch's phone rang.

"L/N?" He answered on speaker.

"I really messed up this time." You let out a dry laugh.

"You need to get to the hospital." Hotch tried to argue.

"I know Morgan and Reid already told you I won't go. There could be answers in here." Your stubbornness was showing. "I need to figure out who killed Nichols."

"Y/N-" You cut Morgan off before he could try to convince you to leave.

"I think he had a partner." You decided to refocus the conversation on the case rather than yourself.

"I'll get Rossi and Prentiss to ask at his office." Hotch sighed in resignation.

"Good, I'll keep looking at everything in here."

You hung up before anyone could argue further. You shoved your phone into your pocket, immediately going back to look through papers and lab equipment around the room.

As you worked inside, you could hear the CDC team setting up outside.

Watching through the windows as people in full hazmat suits prepared to enter the room you were in made everything feel more real.

You pulled your phone swiftly out of your pocket dialling the number you knew by heart.

"Hi." Garcia's voice was quiet when she answered the phone.

"No funky greeting? I'm feeling a little jipped." You tried to joke with her, but it fell flat.

"I can't be my normal, bubbly self when you are where you are." Again, her voice was quiet.

"Garcia, can you do something for me?" Your voice was steady, masking the emotion about to pour out of you.

"What? Tell me what to do and I'll do it." She frantically moved around her desk, ready to do anything you requested.

"You know how a few weeks ago, you were joking about my crush on Morgan?" You asked slowly.

"The one you swore didn't exist? I remember." Her voice was laced with confusion at your topic change.

"Well, um, do you think you could record a message for him?" Your breaths were unsteady as you thought about saying goodbye.

"But you're gonna be fine." She spoke with authority, as if saying it made it true.

"I know, but, um... just in case. I want him to hear it at least once." Your voice broke.

"Okay. Um, whenever you're ready." She listened as you spoke to Derek.

"Hi Derek. Um, I kind of have a secret to tell you, but first I want you to know this isn't your fault. I'm the idiot who walked into the lab. It's on me. I guess I just want to make sure you hear this from me at least once." You cleared your throat, thick from emotion.

"I, uh, I think I'm maybe, just a little bit, um... in love with you." You felt the tears fall from your cheeks. "You're my best friend. You've always been there for me when cases hit a little too close to home or even if I'm just having a bad day. You never fail to make me smile, no matter how hard I'm trying not to."

You wiped at your cheeks roughly, trying to focus on the message.

"I've wanted to tell you for a while, but I never knew how. I guess I'm glad I walked in here for one reason. It finally pushed me to tell you how I feel."

You chuckled again, but there was no humor in it.

"I'm, ah, I'm really sorry if this is goodbye." You paused, unsure if you had anything left to say.

"Y/N?" Garcia questioned if you were still on the line.

"Prep the victim for transfer." You could hear Dr. Kimura entering the room, preparing to begin treating you.

"I've got to go." You hung up without another word, trying to rid your face of any evidence of the tears before facing the doctor.

"How are you feeling?" She questioned once you were in view.

"I'm actually feeling okay." You nodded, trying to convince yourself it was true. She eyed you like she didn't believe you, but nodded with you anyway.

"Alright, how can I help?"

You spent the next few minutes explaining Dr. Nichols profile. Dr. Kimura set off to look for the cure while you continued trying to figure out who killed Nichols.

-

"L/N, stick with me." Morgan's voice sounded through your phone, drawing your attention away from the stack of papers in your hand. "Prentiss and Rossi don't think the partner is from work."

"Okay, um..." You went back to the bigger desk. "He's got course syllabi and outlines dating back to the 80s." You glanced around the room, eyes catching on the other desk.

"A student..." You trailed off, mind moving a mile a minute.

"Talk to me." Morgan drew your attention again.

"Derek, I think it's a student. There's two desks, different organization on both. The smaller one has what looks like a dissertation that Nichols could've been grading. He wouldn't open his lab to a scientist, but he might for educational purposes." You prattled on, more and more information fitting the theory.

"I'll get Garcia to look at science students." Morgan gestured for Hotch to call Garcia. He was about to hang up when you corrected him.

"Wait! The paper, it's more about social policies surrounding an anthrax attack, not the actual science of it." You spoke quickly, trying to hold in an impending cough.

"Okay, political science and social studies majors then." Morgan trailed off, waiting for your response.

"Good. That's good." You coughed slightly, listening to the sound of his breathing.

"Garcia's got a match." Hotch nodded to Morgan before heading toward the SUVs.

"Y/N, you got everything you could in there. Now get the hell out." He practically begged.

"Sure thing, Derek. Bye." You hung up right as Dr. Kimura walked back toward you.

"His inhaler! It could have the cure, right?" She looked to you for approval.

-

"They're checking out Brown's house." Derek watched as they hosed you down.

"Go help them." You coughed slightly, wincing at the cool water.

"They've got plenty of help. I'm staying with you." His eyes never left yours.

"Please." You looked him in the eye. "They're about to strip me naked and hose me down. As much as I know that's something you want to see, I don't think I look my best right now." You joked, watching the way he averted his eyes slightly.

"Y/N, I-" You cut him off again.

"I know." You smiled softly, gesturing for him to go. "Now go help catch him." You kept your eyes on him until he was out of sight.

Turning back to the conversation happening in front of you, you watched as Dr. Kimura instructed another hazmat team member to get the inhaler tested for the cure.

"It makes sense for the inhaler to have the cure." Your mind felt fuzzy as you thought it over. You moved to grab your head, something catching the attention of the doctor.

"Agent L/N, did you cut your hand?" You glanced at your hand, remembering the rose bush outside. You nodded, eyes widening ever so slightly at the now blistering cut on your hand.

"Let's move." You were quickly cleaned of any lingering traces of anthrax before she directed you into the waiting ambulance. "Are you still feeling fine?" She questioned while taking your vitals.

"I'm doing great. I flea foon. I fill fon." You muttered, eyes rolling back in your head.

"Driver, faster!" She called to the front of the ambulance as you started coughing blood.

-

"Are you eating my jello?" You cleared your throat as you eyed Derek sitting next to your bed.

"Yes I am." He stared directly into your eyes as he ate another spoonful.

"Well, is there more?" You pouted, eyes still lingering on the cup in Derek's hands. He laughed in response.

"What happened?" You slowly moved to sit up, eyes flitting around the various machines in your room.

"The cure was in the inhaler. The other patients are in recovery, and you are going to be just fine." The way he smiled when he said 'just fine' had your heart aching. He just looked so relieved.

"Brown?" You continued your line of questioning.

"We got him. It's over." Derek's soft smile remained, eyes flitting around your body as if he were making sure you were actually okay.

"Well, that's a relief." You took a deep breath. "There's actually something I want to tell you."

He raised a brow, a small smirk playing at the edges of his mouth.

"Oh, yeah? Does Garcia know anything about this?"

You felt the blood rush to your cheeks, eyes widening in horror that he had already heard the message. "Oh, um, I mean, technically yes. I didn't- I wouldn't have told her before you if I didn't think I might die!" Your voice was rising in pitch, panic surging through your body.

"Woah, babygirl, slow down." His previous smirk shifted into another look of concern, although he still let out a small chuckle. "She just told me to ask you about a message. That's all."

"Oh." Your mouth stayed in the 'o' shape for longer than necessary, your body's way of stalling what you were about to say. "You haven't heard the message?"

"Nope." He said with a pop. "Care to enlighten me?"

"Well, I guess I have to since you brought it up." You rolled your eyes, messing with him.

"Hey, now! You started it." He clearly had you beat, so you just blurted it out.

"I think I love you!" You threw your hands over your mouth, eyes wide now that you'd confessed to your best friend that you're in love with him.

"That's what the message said. I thought- I mean there was a strong possibility that I was going to die. I didn't want that to happen without me having told you how I actually feel."

Your eyes were focused on the edges of the hospital blanket where your fingers were twisting a loose thread.

"Can I hear it?" His question confused you, causing you to look at him with a furrowed brow. "The message I mean?"

You nodded slowly, texting Garcia to see if she could send it to you. The chime of a text coming in happened almost instantly. You didn't hesitate to hit play on the recording.

"Hi Derek. Um, I kind of have a secret to tell you, but first I want you to know this isn't your fault. I'm the idiot who walked into the lab. It's on me. I guess I just want to make sure you hear this from me at least once.

I, uh, I think I'm maybe, just a little bit, um... in love with you. You're my best friend. You've always been there for me when cases hit a little too close to home or even if I'm just having a bad day. You never fail to make me smile, no matter how hard I'm trying not to.

I've wanted to tell you for a while, but I never knew how. I guess I'm glad I walked in here for one reason. It finally pushed me to tell you how I feel.

I'm, ah, I'm really sorry if this is goodbye."

The message cut off abruptly at that point.

You could feel your heart pounding as if it were trying to escape your chest.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize it sounded so sad." You smiled, though your eyes were watery. "I mean, I guess it makes sense since I thought you would only hear it if I died." You continued rambling, eyes looking anywhere but at Derek.

"Y/N?" He prevented you from muttering any other embarrassing words.

"Yeah?" You winced, trying to prepare yourself for his rejection.

"I love you too."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said any-" You abruptly stopped, the words you heard finally catching up with your brain.

"You- you love me too?" You whispered, eyes finally meeting his.

"I do." His smile was wider than you've ever seen, and so, so pure.

"Oh." Your mind was having a hard time comprehending the gravity of what just happened. Luckily for you, Derek knew exactly what was going on when he leaned in to kiss you.

It took a second for your body to respond, but as soon as it did you could feel the butterflies swarming in your stomach.

Despite how new it was, everything felt right in the world when you were kissing Derek Morgan.

He only pulled back when you gently pushed him away, a wide smile on your face as you sucked in deep breaths of air. The two of you stared at each other lovingly, just enjoying the presence of one another.

The sound of a throat clearing coming from the doorway shocked you out of your trance. Reid stood leaning against the doorframe, a smirk on his face. He uttered one word, perfectly encapsulating your own feelings on the situation.

"Finally."

permanent taglist:

@averyhotchner @jesuswasnotawhiteman @madewithsebstan @sebastnstn

Criminal Minds tag list:

@mac99martin @goldeng1rl8 @measure-in-pain

[baureidalvez]

Angels Chasing Demons • Spencer Reid

This is my first Criminal Minds blurb! I'm new to the fandom and haven't even watched the whole thing yet (at the start of s11!) but I couldn't resist writing a little something. Feedback and reblogs would be SO appreciated, as I'm a little nervous to post this!

Summary: you try to hide your feelings from Spencer after he got shot, with little success. Mainly just lots of fluff and emotions!

Word count: 2,181

Episode: 🚨S9 ep 23/24🚨

“Are you sure you’re comfortable?”

You plump up the cushion behind Spencer’s head, being careful not to jostle him, noting the wince in his throat as he settles against the sofa. He nods as much as he can, a small smile on his lips, now that he’s out of the stiff hospital bed and back in your flat where he belongs. He’s on strict bed rest; Rossi told you to hide his work phone for at least a week, but you know he won’t allow that. You know it’ll barely be a few days before he’s asking for it again.

“I think I’m as comfortable as I can be for someone who just got shot in the neck,” He replies, the usual sarcastic twinge to his voice. “You know, the doctor told me that the bulle-“

“Babe,” You swallow the lump in your throat and try not to let Spencer see the tears in your eyes, this being one of the reasons having a profiler as a boyfriend is so inconvenient. You can’t hide anything. He narrows his eyes as he observes you, a free hand reaching to squeeze one of yours. “When it’s been more than a few days and you’ve healed and rested, you can tell me all about the science behind you being shot. For now, I don’t want to hear it.”

He nods once more and remembers that you haven’t seen the things he’s seen; it’s not part of your daily routine to find dead bodies and analyse every aspect to work out who committed such a thing. It’s engrained in him now, it’s second nature – you can listen to so much, but when it’s regarding the sweet man sat in front of you, you can barely look at him without wanting to burst into tears. There has been many tears over the past few days – first following the call from Garcia, and then again in the waiting room as Blake tried to keep you sane.

“I do need one more thing,” He murmurs, his hand still clutching yours, thumb stroking over the back like he doesn’t want to let go. “Will you lay with me?”

There’s nothing you want more than to be close to him, yet you know you need a minute to compose yourself. From hearing that he got shot to waiting for him to come out of surgery, to then hear that Garcia had saved him from being shot once more in a place that should have been safe – it’s all been a little too much. You lean forward to brush a chaste kiss to his lips, his gaze set on you as he waits for your answer. “Of course. Just give me two minutes, okay? There’s definitely three more care packages outside the door that I need to bring in before one of the neighbours takes them.”

“Okay.” He whispers, and you kiss his forehead before tucking the thick blanket over his lap, with a promise to be back in a moment. He sighs and knows that you’re not okay. He’s not okay either – he knows it’s only a matter of time before the nightmares start again, and he won’t be sleeping, but somehow it was easier to deal with when it was just him alone. Now you’re around too, he hates being the cause of your upset. He lays back against his cushion as you close the door to the apartment, and it’s barely a few seconds before tears are slipping down your cheeks. You were right, there is another care package sat on the doorstep, which you know is from Garcia. It’s not the reason you’re out there though, in the silent hall, the only sound being the sobs you’re trying to conceal at the thought of your boyfriend inside. It’s so hard seeing him in pain. He loves everyone around him, he loves his job, he’s dedicated his life to catching the bad guys and protecting people, no matter what it takes. He doesn’t deserve the pain he’s been through, and every time he’s called to a case, you pray to some higher being to keep him safe. Nothing makes your heart race more than an unexpected phone call or a text, your mind instantly going to the worst scenario possible. In this case, it almost had been.

Spencer may be off work and on bed rest, but it doesn’t stop the profiler part of his brain from being awake. He hears the sound he was expecting to hear as soon as you close the door, and it goes straight to tug on his heartstrings. Sometimes he doesn’t have all of the answers, and he doesn’t know what to do. He knows he shouldn’t get up from the couch, and he’s not sure he’ll physically be able to without injuring himself further. He clears his throat before trying to call out your name.

“Honey…” He calls again, when your name doesn’t get your attention. Not enough to come back inside anyway. “I really want to be able to comfort you right now but I physically can’t move, so, can you come back inside please?”

You chuckle behind the door through your tears and shake your head, feeling silly for thinking even for a moment that he wouldn’t know what you were doing. Swiping the tears from under your eyes, you compose yourself as much as you can, picking up the picnic basket full of snacks and tea before pushing the door open again.

“I manage to salvage this one before next door got hold of it,” You try to laugh it off, but he hears your voice wobble, and his eyes follow you as soon as he spots you. “It’s from Garcia again, she left a not-“

“Babe.” He sighs, cutting you off from rambling about anything other than the current situation. “Come here, please? You don’t have to hide from me.” Warm tears are cascading down your cheeks once more when you realise there’s no concealing it, there’s no way to keep it hidden anymore. You don’t want to push him away, but somehow your upset seems less valid than his – he’s the one who had to go through the physical pain, he got shot, it should be you taking care of him. Spencer doesn’t see it that way, though.

“Please don’t cry because of me, love,” He murmurs as you sit down next to him, pressing your face against his sweater covered chest. He wraps his arms around your body and pulls you in close, tucking your face against his shoulder, wetness from your eyes hitting the material as you cry. “Shh, I’m right here, now.”

He lets you cry it out for a few minutes, soothing sounds slipping from his lips, a warm hand rubbing the top of your back. “Do you want to talk about it?”

You know you should, that you’re going to have to at some point, although you don’t even know where to begin. Spencer stalls for a few moments though, giving you another minute to calm down.

“Did you know, crying is actually a good thing? Research has found that crying actually does make you feel better, and the lump that you feel in your throat, isn’t actually a lump at all. It’s your autonomic nervous system going into high alert, which enlarges the glottis, the opening in your throat which allows you to get more air in to your lungs. It’s the tension between trying to open and close your glottis that makes it feel like a lump.” He keeps going and all you can do is smile, even though the words aren’t registering; you’re just happy to have your Spencer back and in one piece. “But.. even though it’s a good thing, it doesn’t make it any easier for me to see.”

Spencer feels an urge to comfort people, he hates seeing people cry. He remembers the unsettled feeling in his stomach that he feels whenever he sees JJ cry, or he finds a survivor who can do nothing but let out their emotions. He’s no stranger to crying himself, and if he’s honest, seeing you fall apart in his arms has his own eyes burning.

You rub your cheek against the material of his sweater, the smell soothing and familiar, much different to the clinical scent that clung to him after his hospital stay. “Spence… we almost lost you.”

Your mind flashes back to the beeping of machines, Blake’s arms wrapped around you in the waiting room, clinging onto any shred of hope that he was going to pull through the surgery. You vaguely remember a conversation between Blake and JJ, about how Spencer wants to have kids, and Rossi saying he’s too smart to die – he has too much to live for. It’s all true. He has the rest of his life to live and knowing he got close to almost not having that, is enough to scare you to death.

“We didn’t know if you were going to pull through. My heart sinks every time my phone rings, I just get so worried about you… and then I actually got that call.” You explain, unsure where you’re headed, but knowing he needs to hear it. He listens as you cry in his arms, his thumb gently brushing each tear away as it falls. “I know this is your job, your life, and I would never take that away from you. You’re amazing at what you do, and the world needs you. I just wish I could know that you’re safe. People shouldn’t be allowed to hurt someone like you.”

He exhales through his nose as he thinks of the situation from your perspective. Obviously, he was worried, but he always pushes it to the back of his mind when he’s in the heat of the moment, doing anything he can to protect others around him. He pushed Blake out of the way to keep her safe, and he’d choose that option every time. In the moment, he doesn’t think of the repercussions. It always happens so quickly, and the next thing he knows he’s in the back of an ambulance on the way to the hospital. He hates seeing people that he loves in pain, and he hates getting those calls too. He’ll never forget the feeling of finding out that Garcia had been shot, or that JJ had been tortured. It’s a ball of anxiety that sits in the pit of his stomach, and he realises that must be how you feel, every time he goes on a case.

“The world would be a better place if no-one ever got hurt. I like to think my job plays a part in trying to achieve that,” He replies, fingertips trailing up and down your back as he speaks. “There’s always going to be more cases, more bad guys, but every day, we put more of them away. I know it’s dangerous, but it’s a part of me now..”

“I know, and I don’t want to change that about you.” You assure him, squeezing his hand to get his full attention. “I’m not asking you to change anything. I just wish you didn’t have to get hurt, or be in pain. I’m too scared of losing you. You have too much to give back to the world for that to happen.”

“I love you.” He murmurs, making sure to look right at you, your eyes locked on his. “I know I’m not easy to be with, I’m away a lot, and I get hurt… but everything feels easier with you around. And I wish I could move my neck so I could kiss you right now.”

You laugh and carefully sit up as not to jostle him, moving your face closer so the tip of your nose nudges his. “I love you, too.”

Spencer steals the first kiss, his soft but slightly chapped lips brushing yours, moving his head as much as he can so your foreheads touch. You kiss him back with as much love as you can muster up, wanting him to feel every inch of it, knowing that he does. You sigh contentedly, feeling better after your discussion, but knowing he has a long way to go to heal. The kissing is interrupted by the sound of his phone, and you shake your head, remembering Rossi’s orders to keep it away from him and to not let him answer.

“My phone, can you get it? I can’t move,” He asks, looking around the room from where the sound is coming from.

“Nope,” You reply, shaking your head, punctuating the sound with another kiss to Spencer’s lips. “Strict orders from Rossi, no phone for at least two weeks. You need to rest, and I’m about to go and turn it off.”

He watches as you push up from the sofa, going to find his bag, and pulling the vibrating phone from the front pocket. He shakes his head as he hears you head to the bedroom, keeping it tucked away whilst he recoups. He’s in pain, and he knows he doesn’t have an easy road ahead, but with you to take care of him… somehow, things don’t feel so bad.

**

Feedback would be appreciated! Let me know what you think here <3

[pixiemage]

At a panel in 2018, Jared mentioned that when Richard Speight Jr. was directing, he’d often default to calling Jared and Jensen by their character names - “Sam” and “Dean” - even when the camera wasn’t rolling, DESPITE the fact that he and J2 were clearly friends before that point. And we had that episode - The French Mistake - and it made me wonder…

I know that canonically, we know Gabriel hid with the pagans, was tricked by Loki, and was sold to Asmodeus before Ketch broke him out. But what if that hadn’t been the case? What if, in another world, when Gabriel fought Lucifer at Elysian Fields, he had backup plans? Clearly the illusion was what worked in canon, but in another time, maybe his escape plan was to hop universes to get out of the line of fire? Maybe he blasted himself one universe over - only he didn’t know where he’d end up, and he had no idea he’d land in a world where Supernatural was a television show and where there was no magic. Clearly Gabriel is no normal angel - he’s an archangel - so unlike Virgil make he could have kept some of his power. But not NEARLY enough to send him back home. He’s there for a year, more, and at this point he’s fallen into the role of Richard. He sticks by the show on the off chance that it helps him get home one day. He befriends Misha and Sebastian, even Jared and Jensen, all of them reminding him of people back home. (Despite himself, the names “Sam” and “Dean” and “Castiel” and “Balthazar” fall from his lips once in a while, and much more frequently when he’s directing since the characters are right there in front of him. It hurts a little every time, though he’d never admit it.)

At some point he gives up. He thinks he’s here forever, and it’s not a bad life really, but when he came from a world where he could summon anything he wanted with the snap of his fingers and fly around the world in a heartbeat, the plain monotony of it claws at him and makes him wonder how much more he can take.

He thinks maybe he knows how Sam Winchester must have felt, trapped in a hundred Tuesdays.

He thinks maybe if he can ever find a way back home, he’s going to seek out the younger Winchester and apologize.

And then one day - one glorious day - he’s visiting the set on a whim, and everyone is abuzz with how strange Jared and Jensen are acting. Gabriel doesn’t dare let himself hope, but he goes to say hi to them - “They’ve been in Jensen’s trailer. Did you know they’re talking again?” - and if he didn’t know any better he’d think there was a lot of character bleed happening. He doesn’t dare let himself hope, so he doesn’t let himself jump to conclusions and he lets it go for now. It’s nothing. He doesn’t have a lot of mojo left so he doesn’t waste is searching, but on the surface J2’s souls still feel the same.

But then there’s a fight with an extra, and he hears rumors that Jared and Jensen attacked him, and he’s still near the soundstage when he feels a familiar presence - grace. Diluted and bound and out of reach, distant, like it’s on the other side of a void. But it’s there.

Something is definitely going on.

He hears about Misha minutes after it happens.

He’s low on mojo, he knows he is, but he can’t help himself when he rushes to the crime scene and dredges up enough grace to half-heal a sliced throat and to drag his friend’s soul back to earth where it belong. (When Misha jerks to life beside the ambulance, the medics are startled to find that their diagnosis of death wasn’t quite accurate…and Sam and Dean can’t help but stare.)

I’m not sure where it would go from there but, damn, it’d be a hella cool AU and a fascinating way to bring Gabriel back earlier in the series. 👀

[marjansmarwani]

maybe, I’m afraid 

3.8k || ao3

Episode 2x06, but with Carlos (as it should have been)

Just me here again to give Carlos the screen time he should have had. 

A little late to the party maybe (I have no idea how you all manage to get fics up within 24 hours of the episode, I am in awe of that ability) but I still felt the need to make my contribution.

--------

Most days Carlos was pretty sure that after 7 years on the force he had seen everything there was to see. 

Other days he got a call to respond to two teenagers trapped in a homemade minefield and he was forced to reevaluate that sentiment. 

It doesn’t take long to figure out all there is to know, including just how bad it really is, and by the time the familiar ladder truck pulled up (because of course it was the 126) he was waiting outside the passenger door to give Owen the rundown. 

“Officer Reyes,” he greeted when he saw him, “I’m surprised to see you. I thought this would be a little out of your jurisdiction.” 

Carlos shook his head, “Just barely within it, another half-mile and the sheriffs would be handling the call.”

“But you managed to snag it, lucky you.”

“Can’t say I would have been too upset if I had missed out on this one,” Carlos agreed drily. 

Owen hummed in agreement as he surveyed the scene, “What are we looking at, exactly?”  

It was a bleak picture: two brothers, trapped. One injured, both scared and stuck in an active minefield without a map. And the bomb squad was at least 40 minutes out. He saw his concern reflected on Owen’s face as he considered the situation and all the implications. If they waited, the boy would die. If they went in, he would be possibly sending some of his people to die too. 

And yet Carlos knew what choice he was going to make before he even opened his mouth. He had learned so many things during his time with TK, and one of them was that in so many ways he and his dad were a lot alike. If it were his call, TK wouldn’t have been able to leave those boys in there either. So when the instruction came, he wasn’t surprised. 

“We’re going to need the heaviest duffel we can find and spray paint - the brighter the better.”

Carlos locked eyes with TK briefly as he and the rest of his team turned to start gathering supplies, giving him a smile and hoping that it conveyed everything he wanted him to know: it would be alright, no matter what. 

He almost believed it too. 

All was calm at the start, the 126 functioning like the well-oiled machine they were. In no time they were prepped and Owen was striding back towards the ambulance, asking the new guy if he was ready to go. The discussion quickly transformed into an argument and Carlos couldn’t help but glance back over at the minefield and the brothers. Every moment they argued was one less moment these boys had. Carlos was considering stepping in when a new voice entered the discussion, effectively bringing the escalating argument to a halt. 

“I’ll go.” 

And Carlos froze because he knew that voice. He would know it anywhere, it drew him like a moth to a flame in any room. He turned slowly to find TK standing slightly apart from his crew, stance relaxed but jaw set in determination. 

“I was a dual function FD medic in New York,” he explained, voice calm and firm, “all my certifications are up to date. I can do this.” 

Carlos didn’t need to be looking at him, didn’t need to see where his gaze shifted to know that those last words were directed at his dad. The knowledge made Carlos’s heart ache. The fact that his boyfriend still felt the need to prove himself to his dad after all this time and all he had accomplished killed him, but the thought of TK willingly walking into the minefield killed him even more. 

But it wasn’t his choice to make and when Owen nodded, he felt a cold dread spread throughout his body. This wasn’t how today was supposed to go. Today was not supposed to be the day he watched his boyfriend walk into an active minefield. That day was never supposed to come, and yet here it was. 

He walked over to where TK was switching out his gear, struggling with a strap that was twisting over his shoulder. He reached out for the strap without a word, smoothing it out and snapping it in place. They didn’t speak as Carlos stepped back, surveying the harness and gear for any other twists or issues. 

“It’s going to be fine, Carlos.” 

TK’s voice, soft and reassuring, broke the silence and Carlos met his eyes sharply. He wanted so desperately to believe him, but there was a field filled with explosives that had already claimed one life today behind them and he was finding it hard to be optimistic. 

“Are you sure about this?” he asked instead. 

TK pulled his helmet on, his steady gaze never leaving Carlos, “Of course I’m sure, the kid’s going to die if we don’t go out there, Carlos. I need to help if I can.” 

Carlos reached down to grab his medical bag and held it out to him. He didn’t like the thought of the man he loved purposefully putting himself in harm’s way, but he also knew TK. As much as he might hate it sometimes, this was TK: always ready to help, always willing to put himself at risk if it meant saving someone else, and there was nothing Carlos could do to change that. And he wouldn’t want to - it was a part of TK that made him who he was: someone that Carlos loved with all his heart. 

When TK reached out to take the bag from him, he didn’t release it immediately. He let his grip linger for an extra moment as he studied TK, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Just, be careful,” he told him softly. TK gave him a small smile, and Carlos released his grip on the bag, allowing TK to walk away, towards the minefield. He was still watching as he ascended the ladder that would drop him out onto the minefield when he felt the presence of others appearing at his side. 

“He’ll be okay kid,” Judd said quietly, eyes never leaving the sight of the two Strands climbing to the end of the ladder. 

“You don’t know that Judd,” Carlos responded just as quietly, already feeling his fingernails digging into his palm as he clenched his hands at his side. 

“No,” the older man agreed softly, “I don’t. But I do know they’ll be as careful as they can.” 

Carlos nodded, eyes tracking every movement desperately. They had reached the edge of the ladder now and he watched as Owen tossed down the duffel, as they both reeled back in preparation for an explosion. He could feel his heart skip a beat and his breath catch in his throat as they waited, but there was only silence and after a moment, he allowed himself to breathe again. 

“I don’t know if my heart can take this,” Paul lamented from his left, “that was nerve-wracking and they still have a long way to go.” 

Carlos nodded wearily, but caught his retort before it slipped out of his mouth: if they made it that far. He didn’t need to release that idea into the universe and the others didn’t need to hear it. So he swallowed it and continued watching. Each and every movement they made was agonizing to watch, but each and every thud of them landing unharmed gave him a moment to catch his breath, a brief reprieve for his heart to beat normally. They had settled into a rhythm, and everything was going smoothly. 

Until it wasn’t. 

The sound of the mine exploding filled the air around them and worked its way into Carlos’s soul. It sent shockwaves through his body as he watched, desperately trying to see through the haze of smoke and debris. He couldn’t see him, he didn’t know if he was okay. 

That fact was more than enough to bring on the fear. It attacked him with a vengeance, freezing him to the spot. He felt as if the whole world froze in that moment; suspending him in the terror of not knowing, trapping him with doubt and fear. 

And then he heard TK’s voice, and he could breathe again. It might just be the most wonderful thing he had ever heard. 

When Owen’s voice sounded across the radios, confirming that they were both in one piece, time picked back up at its usual pace. He felt himself sag in relief, grateful for the knowing and supportive hand on his shoulder from Judd. He spared a glance at the others, seeing his relief reflected on their faces and in their stances. 

Marjan let out a long breath, “That was…” 

“Intense,” Paul agreed grimly, “let’s never do that again.” 

They all nodded, and Carlos couldn’t agree more. 

If there was an upside to that moment it was that the path forward was now clear and the two Strands made quick work of the rest of the journey, closing the distance between them and the boys in seconds. Carlos watched in awe as TK slipped into medic mode the moment he reached the boys’ sides, calmly managing the scene and taking care of the patient. It was a wonder to watch. He handled it all with focus and compassion, quietly reassuring the boys even as he gave instructions to his dad and administered care. He was cool and steady even as he delivered the lifesaving compressions, forcing the teen’s blood to pump through his veins with his own hands. It was only minutes before his voice sounded over the radio, announcing that the injured boy was stable and no amount of fear or worry could have stopped the intense pride Carlos felt in that moment. 

“Kid’s got some skills,” Judd observed with a fond smile and Carlos could only grin. 

Paul nodded, “Looks like someone’s been holding out on us, that was pretty impressive I must admit.” 

“Badass is more like it!” Mateo exclaimed and Marjan, standing next to him, laughed even as she placed a hand on his arm. 

“Steady Probie,” she reminded him, “they still have to get out of there. Let’s not jinx anything.”

Her words tempered the celebratory mood of the group, but even though Carlos had never let go of that fear (he knew he wouldn’t until TK was out of the minefield and at least 2 miles away) it felt different from before. It was wrapped in that pride now, and even as Carlos watched them prep to move and the bomb squad moved out to locate and detonate any mines along the path, he couldn’t shake that. It was almost stronger than the fear now, this pride he felt for TK. That was his boyfriend; the person who had just saved two young brothers in the middle of a minefield was the man he loved. Just when he thought that he had come to know every bit of his body and soul, he managed to surprise him all over again. 

It took every ounce of restraint and professionalism Carlos had to not rush over to TK the moment he cleared the edge of the minefield. He forced himself to wait, focusing on his own job while keeping a watchful eye on TK as he reported back to Captain Vega, as he got an exam from the new paramedic. It wasn’t until he headed back to the ladder truck that Carlos broke away from the crowd, meeting him at the side of the engine. TK looked up as he approached, a smile on his face and a greeting on his lips, but Carlos pulled him into his arms before he even had a chance to speak. 

He held him tightly, savoring the feeling of his breath on his collar and the faint sound of the beating of his heart. His familiar scent filled Carlos’s head with each breath and he closed his eyes. He would have been happy to stand there forever, feeling this and just being them and while he knew they couldn’t, he was determined to have at least a few moments more before the world interrupted. If nothing else, the universe at least owed him this. 

“I’m okay Carlos,” TK said evenly, his voice muffled against Carlos’s shoulder. 

But you almost weren’t. The words rang through his head, but he didn’t speak them. Instead he pulled away just enough to see TK’s face as he asked, “Are you sure?” 

“Yes,” TK assured him firmly, placing a steady hand on his chest, “the new medic looked me over but I could have told you anyway, I’m fine. Not injured, my dad and I both made it out and so did the boys. This was a win Carlos, I’m more than okay.” 

And he was, Carlos saw as he studied him. He was beaming; enthusiasm pouring out of him. His eyes were alight with something Carlos couldn’t name and he was practically vibrating. Despite everything, Carlos couldn’t help but smile at the sight. He was still worried, still terrified by all the ‘what ifs,” but seeing TK like this gave him a lightness he couldn’t have imagined feeling even a few minutes before. 

He shook his head, trying to mask his smile with little success, “I am glad you’re so pleased with yourself, considering you almost gave the rest of us a heart attack.” 

He had been going for a joke but he instantly regretted it when TK dimmed, “I’m sorry,” he told him sincerely, “I didn’t mean to scare you guys, especially you. I just knew I could help…” 

Carlos interrupted him, moving his hands so they were on each of TK’s shoulders, “You have nothing to apologize for Ty,” he assured him firmly, “you did the right thing. You saved a kid’s life and you did amazing. I am so proud of you.” 

TK’s smile returned, softer than before but still glowing with pride, “You are, are you?” 

Carlos leaned down to place a soft and tender kiss on his forehead, “I am. So incredibly proud. You’re a pretty impressive guy, you know that?”

TK’s smile could have lit up the world and Carlos would have been happy to let it. But they were both still on the job and decidedly not alone, as they were suddenly reminded when Paul peaked around the side of the engine. He smirked at them before calling over his shoulder, “Yeah, they’re decent back here, you guys can come around.” 

Carlos rolled his eyes at his friend while TK casually flipped him off. Paul crossed towards them, completely unfazed before reaching out and pulling TK into a hug of his own. “You can’t keep scaring me like that man,” he told TK when they pulled apart, “I’m getting too old for that crap.” 

TK rolled his eyes at his teammate and Carlos chuckled. He looked behind him to see the rest of the team materializing. 

“That’s my cue,” he told TK, “I need to get back to work and get this scene wrapped up anyways. I’ll see you at home later?” 

TK nodded, reaching out to squeeze his hand, “I’ll be there right after my shift.” 

“Think you can make it until then without nearly dying on me again?” 

“I’ll do my best,” TK assured him and Carlos smiled. 

“That’s all I ask,” he responded, “I love you.” 

“Love you too, Carlos.” 

Carlos smiled at that, the warmth he felt every time he heard those words from TK rushing through him. With one last squeeze of the hand holding his own, he stepped away, letting TK’s team get in their time. As he reached the corner of the engine he looked back, still feeling the whirlwind of emotions deep in his chest. 

But TK was safe and happy - he couldn’t ask for anything more. So he turned the corner and returned to the task at hand. 

----------

“You know, that call today? It felt good, really good.” 

Carlos looked up from his dinner sharply to see TK idly playing with his, his focus clearly elsewhere. “Please don’t tell me this means you have decided to become a real-life minesweeper, I am going to have some objections to that,” Carlos deadpanned. 

TK laughed lightly, shaking his head, “No, not quite.” 

“Thank god, I don’t think my heart could handle that.” 

TK shook his head fondly at Carlos before his expression grew more pensive, “I didn’t mean the minefield, or even the danger or adrenaline. I meant the saving the boy part. I know I do that all the time as a firefighter, but there’s something different about doing it as a medic. I haven’t had the chance to really do any medical calls since moving to Austin, with the way the department is structured.” 

“You’ve never really talked about it before,” Carlos noted, “I’ve seen you do medical stuff in the field, but before today I didn’t even know you were dual certified.” 

TK shrugged, “It just never really came up, I guess. It’s pretty typical in New York, but their firehouses are structured differently. I guess once I made my peace with being down here I never really thought about it again. It’s not like I could do both the same way I used to.” 

His tone was almost wistful as he turned his gaze down to his plate, but Carlos had a feeling he wasn’t really seeing the food on it. “Sounds like you miss it,” he ventured after a few more moments of silence. 

“Sometimes I do.” 

“So why not go for it?” 

TK looked at him sharply, but Carlos just shrugged, “What? You’ve spent most of the past hour talking about it and you mentioned how the new guy quit and there’s an opening on the paramedic team within your first 10 minutes of showing up tonight. I know you and I know you’re already thinking about it, so why not try it?” 

“Even if I applied, there are so many other candidates. There’s no saying she’d pick me.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that. She knows you and how dedicated you are to your job. She saw you in action today, willing to take the risk that someone else wasn’t in order to save a patient. You did the job well and you did it under insane pressure after months of not doing it. If I were her, I’d be wondering what you’d be capable of on an average day.”  

TK looked startled at the efficient takedown of his doubts, but Carlos just raised an eyebrow, “Next?” 

He would dismantle his boyfriend’s doubts with logic one by one if need be. Whatever it took for him to start believing in himself the way Carlos did. 

“I’d have to leave the team,” he said softly, “I wouldn’t be working with them anymore. We’re like a family, I can’t just leave them.” 

Carlos reached across the table to take TK’s hand in his own, “It’s not like you’d be leaving the station,” he reminded him, “you’d still be in the same building and on the same schedule. And they’re not going to feel like you abandoned them, Ty, they’ll still be right there. And right here,” he added with a laugh, gesturing towards his living room, “we’ve fed them, I don’t think we are ever going to get rid of them now.” 

That pulled a smile out of TK, but there was still so much doubt in his eyes that it hurt Carlos to see it. 

“What do you think they would say, if you told them it was something you wanted?” he asked instead, “Do you think they would tell you to forget about it? To stay with them because it was more comfortable?” 

“No,” TK said quickly, “of course they wouldn’t.” 

“So why are you worried about them? They want what’s best for you and they always will. Unless,” he hedged when TK’s expression didn’t clear, “they’re not the ones you’re worried about.” TK pulled his gaze up from the table and Carlos saw all the confirmation in them that he needed, “Your dad?” 

TK nodded, and Carlos sighed. “TK…”

“It would be a big change Carlos,” he said softly. “Except for my probationary period, I have always worked with my dad. I don’t want him to take it personally.” 

“But it is a little personal, isn’t it?” 

He was careful to keep his tone even, non-judgemental and he watched TK closely, waiting for his response. 

“Maybe a little, yeah,” TK admitted. “I feel like this would be a way for me to really see who I am without him right there. It’s not like this is a reaction to him or any news he may have shared recently,” he added hastily, “I would hope I’m past the ‘blowing my life up to piss off my dad’ point, but it is something to consider. And…” 

He trailed off, but Carlos had a feeling he knew what was going to come next, “And you’re worried he might take it personally?” he suggested. 

TK nodded and Carlos sighed and set down his fork, reaching across the table again to pull both of TK’s hands into his own, “Look,” he began, “what’s important is why you’re thinking about this. So, what is it? Why are you thinking about becoming a paramedic?” 

“Because I think I’d love it,” TK said without any hesitation, “because I feel like it’s the best way I can help people.” 

Carlos smiled at him, squeezing the hands in his grasp softly, “Then I think you have your answer. You should do this because it is what you want and because it is right for you. That’s all that matters. Everything else - and everyone else - will fall into place.” 

“And if they don’t?” TK asked softly, and Carlos felt a pang in his heart at the sound of so much doubt in the other man’s voice. 

“They will,” Carlos assured him. “Nothing ever stays the same, remember? And your dad knows that. We all know that. And,” he added, leaning forward in his seat to close some of the distance between them, “I will be here for you, every step of the way. No matter what.”  

The smile TK gave him warmed every inch of his body. They sat in companionable silence for a while, intertwined hands connecting them across the table until TK spoke again. 

“If you really mean that,” he began with a grin, “I could probably use some help with my resume.” 

“Anything for you,” Carlos quipped back, but even as he said the words he squeezed their clasped hands. He meant that, in every way possible. He would be here for resumes and job interviews and everything in between, as long as TK wanted him to be. 

Judging by the way TK met his eyes, and the soft ‘thank you’ that fell from his lips, he had a feeling he felt the same way too. 

[itsjustmyfantasyroom]

Grey Vase.

Thank you again @beccabarba for reading over this for me.

This is final part to my Bishop Grey series. This follows on from:

Grey Leather 

Grey Uniform

Grey Dress

Warnings: this is episode based from season 2, so talks of Riz and Coco getting hurt, fluff and smut.

WC: 2415

Enjoy x

It had gotten around about you taking Bishop to the fund raiser. Not all of what you were hearing was bad, which was great. Your mum and dad were coming around to the idea that their daughter was seeing a Mayan, much to your surprise, after your Aunty who worked in the dress factory had told them what a gentleman he actually was. Rosa was all for it, hanging around the club house a lot more and your work partner was even more supportive of you actually being happy as long as he treated you well. You hadn’t seen Bishop since the morning after the fund raiser, leaving after he made you breakfast, but true to his word he had messaged you every night telling you he missed you, he was safe and he couldn’t wait to see you.

You wanted to take the afternoon off, and really you should have. Your afternoon shift started off like any other, slow at first, till you were in town and seen the grey Mercedes parked outside the coffee shop you and your partner were going to. You rolled your eyes when you walked in to see Emily picking up her coffee order turning around, your eyes meeting and a smirk pulling to her face making her way over to you,

“Y/N it’s good to see you, how are you? How is Rosa? Still living together?”

“Good thank you, sure are,” you gave her a small tight smile “Rosa is great and yourself? Miguel and Christobel well?”

“Going really well, thanks for asking. I’ am sure Christobel would love to see his godmother” You looked her dead in the eye, raising an eyebrow and Emily shrugged her shoulders at you “I saw you the other day, didn’t take you for a leather and motor bike kind of person.”

“Didn’t take you for a yellow raincoat kind of person but yet here we are,” you shot back.

“We aren’t so different you know” Emily sighed back.

“Em, we are very different. I never forgot where I came from”

Before Emily had a chance to answer back your radio went off, your partner answered saying you were on it, you both rushed out, you jumping in the driver’s seat, turning on the sirens and speeding off.

When you arrived, driving up the driveway seeing the burnt out bikes, a sick feeling started to fill your tummy and you had to will yourself to not throw up, recognising the bikes. You and your partner jumped out grabbing your bags and you rushed around the corner. Shattered glass was scatted all over the ground, Angel and Ez on either side of a crouched over Coco holding the right side of his face, and Riz laying on the floor just inside the damaged doors with Bishop, Hank and Taza trying to stop the bleeding on his chest. Bishop looked up at you and his heart sunk that you had to see all this.

“Coco” You yelled rushing over to him first looking over him “Call for back up” you yelled again at your partner as he rushed into Riz talking over his radio.

You sorted out Coco as quickly was you could and then rushed in to Riz to help your partner. In no time, back up was there helping out with Coco’s burns and his eye, putting him in the back of the ambulance and your partner rushed out to get a stretcher for Riz. Bishop, Taza, your partner and you lifted him onto the stretcher and you all rushed out as you pushed him to the back. You let Taza get in the back with your partner so he could do the once over again before you left. The driver’s window was open and you were on your radio calling it into the emergency room giving them the low down and telling them to prepare an operating room when you saw Bishop walk up to the door,

“I’ll follow you” Bishop’s eyes were slightly wet and you reached out the window to cup his cheek running your thumb along his jaw. Bishop turned his head grabbing onto your hand kissing your palm before you put the ambulance into ‘r’ reversing out with the sirens on again.

It had been three and a half weeks since Bishop had pushed you away physically, but not emotionally. You had some idea what was going to happen after what happened to Riz and you had seen first-hand how bitter Coco was with what happened to him. You got a message every day at some point, sometimes twice, Bishop telling you how much he missed you and how he couldn’t wait to see you again. The last time you had spoken to him at the funeral he had asked you to lay low, he didn’t want you getting caught up and dragged into what was going on as a pay back to him, and he wanted you safe. He had also given you Marcus’s number in case you needed someone with him away dealing with business and you laid low as much as you could.

It was your rostered day off and you were surprised when there was a knock on the door early in the morning, a delivery man from the local florist holding a grey vase with a beautiful flower arrangement. You took the flowers, closing and locking the door and then walking to sit the vase on the table. You pulled the pin out that had the note pinned to a leaf opening the small envelope pulling out a small card,

‘Miss you so much baby, can’t wait to hold you again soon xx’

Your heart swelled, holding the card up pressing it to your chest, you walked over to your phone picking it up and sending a message of thanks and that you couldn’t wait to thank him in person. 

The hours had ticked on slowly with no message back yet. Rosa was out for the night with some work friends so you ordered in dinner and had just sat on the couch after a shower, your hair still damp in your short sleep nighty to watch the latest episode of your favourite New York police show.

Your eyes were glued to the TV as your favourite actors moved across the screen, when a rev of a motor bike made you jump and your heart pounded in your chest fast. You grabbed your phone unlocking it going to Marcus’s number in case you needed to call him, walking to the front window looking out the blinds. The motor bike was parked behind your car and you saw as the rider lift off his helmet and you gasped rushing to the door to open it.

You swung the door open to Bishop making his way towards the door, his eyes came up to meet yours, a smile pulling to his face and his eyes sparkled. You bolted out, jumping on him, your arms going around his neck his arms going around your middle lifting you up slightly off the ground walking you into your place while you peppered his face with kisses,

“I missed you so much baby” Bishop purred walking you both through the door placing you down and shutting it, locking it and he was back on you.

“I missed you Bishop” you lent forward your lips crashing on his, the kiss deepening and your arms around his neck tightening, pulling him in closer to you while his hands ran up and down your sides.

Bishop broke the kiss first stepping back from you tugging off his jacket throwing it on the back of the couch and then grabbing your hand pulling you to the couch,

“Do you want a beer or something?”

“No, I just want you” Bishop sat on the single couch pulling you onto his lap. One of your arms hocked around his neck, the other resting on his chest. Bishop wrapped one arm around your waist the other resting on your thigh. His warm hand sending goose bumps all over your body “I’ am sorry I was away for so long Y/N” Bishop kissed your shoulder “You been ok?”

“Yep, just work and home, missing you” you kissed his cheek “Thank you so much for the flowers. I love them” You nodded towards the kitchen table where they sat proudly in the middle of it.

“Anything for you baby” Bishop’s hand on your thigh starting to run up under your sleep nighty “You have this weekend off”

“How did you know” you looked down at him with a big smile.

“I ‘am el presidente, I know everything” he winked “Rosa told me, I seen her before I left”

“She was at the club house?” You raised your eyebrows at him and he nodded back with a smirk.

“She is staying with Angel tonight, it was her idea to tell you she was at a work thing when she knew I wanted to surprise you and tomorrow we ride to San Diego just me and you”

“You planned all this for me?” you looked down at him your fingers coming up to run through his hairy face, the feeling making you gasp and bite your bottom lip.

“It’s not all I have planned” His voice was deep and his hand slid further up under your nighty.

You moaned and lent down your lips connecting with his neck kissing, sucking and nipping along it. Without moving your lips from his neck, you moved yourself so you were straddling his lap, Bishop’s hand’s going straight to the hem of your sleep nighty lifting it up over your hips, his hands sliding into your lace panties cupping your ass cheeks groping them pulling you down onto him. You sucked on his sweet spot and he groaned bucking his hips up into your core. You lent back with a giggle and his grip on your ass tightened, your head falling back as he guided your hips over him,

“Take it off baby, let me see you”

You bit your bottom lip and then pulled your nighty up and off you throwing it on the other couch and you heard Bishop growl, his eyes on your chest and he licked his lips. Bishop pulled his hands out of your panties, wrapping his arms around your middle and he stood up carrying you to your bed room.

Bishop walked straight to your bed dropping you down on it and you gasped giggling as you bounced up slightly. Bishop grabbed onto the waist of your panties tugging them down in one go throwing them somewhere on the floor and toeing off his boots. You felt his hands on your knees spreading them apart and he settled between them still fully clothed, grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head. Bishop started to thrust his clothed hips into you and you moaned, feeling his jeans rub against you.

“Feel good?” Bishop’s lips met your neck.

He started kissing along it, the feel of his beard running along your skin and his wet warm lips on your skin made you feel like you were on fire and you started to grind your hips up wanting more, your orgasm getting closer and you nodded, your moans and pants started to fill the room.

“That’s it baby, just like that” Bishop pushed his hard clothed bulge into you more.

Your whole body started to tremble and you screamed Bishop’s name loud, your release shot through you making you pant loud. Bishop’s lips met yours kissing you deeply before he pulled away standing up ridding himself of his clothes, leaning over to the top drawer pulling out protection and rolling it on.

Bishop was back between your legs in no time, sliding up into you, you moaning and he grunting loud as he filled you up. Bishop started to kiss you deeply again when he started to roll his hips into you, his eyes locking with yours after he broke the kiss. You moved to wrap your legs around him, your hands running up his solid arms, up onto his shoulders and then up onto his cheeks.

You were so wrapped up with the feeling on him being in you and on top of you that you let out a surprised squeal when he rolled you both over so that he was now on his back and you were on top, your hands resting on his pecks and his on your hips. You started to roll your hips down on him hard and deep, Bishop’s grip on your hips bruising. Bishop planted his feet flat on the bed and he started to thrust up into you,

“I’ve missed you” you moaned out your head dropping back again.

“Missed you baby” he panted out.

His eyes were glued to your tits bouncing around and he let go of one hip bringing his hand around, his pointer finger connecting with your swollen pearl, circling it with the pad of his thumb and you started babbling nonsense under your breath letting out a scream falling forward resting on your hands while your orgasm washed over you like wild fire, your body covered in sweat,

“Good girl” Bishop kissed your arm still thrusting up into you still.

It didn’t take long and the room filled with his loud roar, Bishop slamming your hips down onto him coming deep inside you in the condom. Both your chests heaving, your forehead connecting with his, pecking each other’s lips gently.

You rolled off him dropping on your back, Bishop getting up and going to the bathroom to clean himself up. Bishop walked back in and he stopped in his tracks in the door way, his breathing hitched at your beauty as you laid on your back looking up at the roof still trying to catch your breath,

“You’re so beautiful” Bishop whispered as he got back onto the bed pulling you onto his chest wrapping his arms around you, his fingers running through your hair.

“You’re pretty beautiful yourself” you kissed Bishop’s chest your hand resting on his belly and he let out a chesty laugh.

“Excited for the weekend?” Bishop kissed the top of your head.

“I’ am just happy to be back in your arms, doesn’t matter where we are” You nuzzled into his chest and Bishop started to brush his fingers tips up and down your back.

“Me too baby.”

Tags: @beccabarba​​​​ @lovebennycolonmiguelgalindo​​​​ @withmyteeth 

[rachaelswrites]

Green Light, Red Light

Spencer Reid x daughter!reader

Based on Criminal Minds Season 12 Episodes 21 and 22 “Green Light” and “Red Light”

Word Count: 1,796

Warnings: kidnapping, gun violence

A/n: Part of the Episode series (also was a request)

You were used to seeing Cassie in the mornings, but today she wasn’t there. There was another girl, but she looked too young to be a nurse. 

“Where’s Cassie?” you asked. Your gut told you something was wrong and your dad always said to trust your gut. 

“Cassie isn’t here today,” the nurse said, “I’m Carol,” she stuck her hand out for you to shake but you declined. 

“I’m sorry about her. She’s so much like her father,” Diana said, resting her hand on your shoulder. 

Carol bent down in front of you, “Speaking of your dad, I’m taking you two to visit him today. Would you like that?” she was talking to you like a child. You were technically a child, being only twelve but you were a lot smarter than kids your age. 

You shook your head, “No. JJ or Emily always take me.” 

“Don’t be silly Y/n,” Diana said, “Let’s go see Spencer.” 

You had no choice but to comply. Maybe this could be your way to warn your dad about what was happening. On the bus ride to the prison you sat in between Carol and your grandmother. 

“Come on Y/n, smile a little. We’re seeing your dad today,” Carol was trying to get you to trust her, but you were too smart. 

“I don’t care,” you moved seats away from her, “I don’t like you,” you said under your breath. The lady you were now sitting next to you heard what you said and laughed a little. 

You noticed as you were walking down the hallways to the visiting room, Carol acting strange. She would walk on different sides of the hallways and look down at certain times. You knew there was something up. 

You got to visit Spencer first. You were sitting in a chair and your dad was pushed inside. He didn’t look like himself, he looked like he hadn’t slept in days, “Dad!” you reached out to hug him but he stopped you. 

“We can’t touch,” he nodded over to the guard watching you two, “I’m sorry,” he sat down on the chair across from you, “What’s wrong? You look upset?”

“I mean my dad is in prison so, sorry if I’m upset about that.” 

“Besides that. Tell me if I can do anything.”

You sighed, “I don't know. Something just feels off about the nurse.”

Spencer raised his eyebrows, “I thought you liked her?”

“I’ve never met her before dad.”

Spencer leaned forward towards you. He had done some reading about kids acting up when something happened with their parents but this was something else, “Stop messing around Y/n,” he said seriously, “If something's going on, tell me.”

“I just did! I don’t know any Carols,” you didn’t understand why he was getting mad at you. 

“Who’s Carol?”

“Cassie’s replacement? Carol said you hired her?” you knew for sure there was something wrong now, based on the look on your dad’s face. 

“Y/n, I didn’t hire anyone besides Cassie.” Spencer was now confused himself. What were you talking about?

“But-” you were interrupted by the door opening and Carol walked in. 

“Come on Y/n, we have to go now,” she said, reaching her hand out for you.

Spencer grabbed onto you tightly, ignoring the no touching rule, “Y/n, no.”

“Dad?”

“Spencer I’m sorry but I have to get her back now. She has school tomorrow. I wish you could have more time,” Carol faked her sympathy. She knew Spencer would recognize her. This was her way of throwing him off. 

“She’s not leaving with you,” he turned to the guard, “I need Emily and my lawyer here. My daughter isn’t going back with her,” he was still holding onto you, “She’s not leaving here.”

“Back off inmate,” the guard said, pulling you away from him. He gently shoved you to the door and into Carol’s arms. She tried to wrap her arms around you but you pushed her off. 

“I want to stay!” you yelled but the door was already closed in your face. Carol grabbed you and started walking towards the exit. Diana was nowhere to be found. You heard your dad yelling for you but there was nothing you could do. Surprisingly Carol was a lot stronger than you and it was hard to get her hands off. 

“Diana said you were a good kid. I guess she was wrong.” she sneered.

“You’re not who you say you are. Why didn’t my dad want me with you?”

She laughed, “I’ll tell you later. We have someplace to be.”

~~~~~

Carol told you her real name was Lindsey and your dad worked a case that she was a part of. Lindsey had taken you and Diana captive. She put Diana in the truck of the car and put you in the passenger seat, “If anyone asks, I’m your babysitter. If you yell for help, I’ll kill her,” she gestured toward the trunk of the car as she got out at the gas station. 

“Can I get some air? I get car sick.”

“Sure. Just stay by the car.” 

You knew the team would realize you were kidnapped and would put out an AMBER alert on you, hopefully someone would recognize you. Lindsey had dyed her hair and cut yours. There was another person filling up his car. He smiled at you and then at Lindsey. You heard the AMBER alert go off on the guys phone and on Lindsey's. She checked it and whipped her head up to you, “Get in the car. Now!” she hissed.

You did as she told you and climbed back into the passenger's seat. 

“I think I see the people you’re looking for,” the guy had called the cops and was reporting you two, “Their hair is different but I’m pretty sure it’s them. I’m at a gas sta-” before he could finish, Lindsey shot him. 

You jumped back out of the car, “Why did you do that?”

“Are you really that stupid? Get back in the car,” she pointed the gun at you and shot. It just grazed your arm. Enough to scare you and make you bleed, “Put pressure on it. I need you alive.” 

You scrambled back into the car and found some napkins to cover the wound. Her phone rang and she answered. Her gaze kept shifting from you to the trunk. She opened the driver’s side and shoved the phone at you, “Speak.”

“Hello?” your voice was shaky.

“Y/n? Is that you? Are you ok?”

“Dad! Please help me.”

Lindsey took the phone back, “She’s alive,” she hung up and got back in the car, grabbing gasoline. She poured it around the car and opened the trunk. She yanked Diana out and shoved her into the guy’s truck. She walked around to your door and did the same. She then set the gas station and drove off, leaving the building burning behind you. 

Once at your new location, you were met by another man. He grabbed you, while Lindsey had Diana. 

“I thought they weren’t supposed to be harmed,” the man said, motioning to the napkins that were placed on your arm. 

“She’s a brat and needed to be shut up,” she replied

“And you’re a bitch.” you responded. 

The man laughed but Lindsey grabbed you roughly by your hair, “Keep talking like that and I’ll make sure you die slowly,” she let you go and shoved you forward, making you fall. 

“If your intention was to not hurt me, you’re doing an awful job,” you stood up and brushed yourself off. 

They led you into the cabin and tied you and Diana up in one of the bedrooms. 

“Y/n, you look awful,” she wasn’t in one of her clear head moments so she didn’t really understand what was happening. 

“Well, being kidnapped that happens.” you said blatantly. Not really thinking about softening the blow. 

Diana’s eyes grew in shock, “We’re kidnapped? How’d we get here? Where’s Spencer, is he coming?”

You shrugged. You could tell the injury in your arm was getting to you, because you were growing tired, “I’m sure the team’s working on it. They’ll get here,” you slurred. You heard Diana try to tell you something but you lost consciousness. 

You weren’t sure how long you were out but you remember being woken up by someone shaking you and calling for a medic. You opened your eyes groggily and saw a familiar face, “Emily?” you tried to move but you were still bound to the chair. 

“Oh Y/n, let’s get you out of here,” she helped Rossi untie you and helped you stand up, “Can you walk?”

You shook your head and she carefully lifted you into her arms, “Is my dad here?”

“He’s at Quantico. He’s been worried about you,” everyone was worried about you. There was no way Spencer would be able to handle losing either you or his mother.

“I was so scared. I didn’t know what to do,”

She set you on one of the gurneys that the medics had brought out, “You did everything right. Spencer would be proud,” she lifted your head up with her hands, getting a good look at your injuries, “They really did a number on you huh?”

You nodded and laid back on the gurney, “Can I see him soon?”

“Yeah. The medics just need to check you out,” she followed as the medics wheeled you into the ambulance, “I’ll stay with you if you want,”

You nodded again and she stepped into the back, sitting next to you. 

Your injuries weren’t bad so they were able to patch you up in the ambulance. Emily was with you in the elevator. Diana was cleared before you so she got back sooner. 

“Excited much?” Emily teased since you were bouncing up and down on your heels. 

“Sorry. It’s just been so long since I saw him as a normal person,” you explained. Emily placed her hand on your shoulder as the doors opened. The rest of the team was waiting for you. 

The doors had just barely opened before your dad pulled you into a huge bear hug. He wrapped his arms completely around you and rested his chin on the top of your head, “Oh my god Y/n, I’m so sorry,” he kissed the top of your head and pulled away, “This never should've happened to you,” he looked you over and saw the bruises on your wrists and the bandage on your arm. 

You noticed his gaze had shifted to your arm and you placed your hand over it, “I’m fine dad. I’m just glad everyone’s ok.”

He pulled you back into a hug, “I’m never leaving you again like this. Ever,”

Taglist

@ssebstann @peachyprincessss @emmy-writes-sometimes @dudele @kerrswriting @laura-naruto-fan1998

[heytherejulietx]

The Office - Bughead

Masterlists

Requests open (ONLY for Bughead)!

Read on AO3 here!

Notes - Ahh I’m so excited to post this one! This fic is for an April writing challenge by @writers-chateau using the prompt “office au”. This is based on an actual episode of the show “The Office” - season 6 episode 17 “The Delivery”. I’m so happy with how this turned out - this is fuelling my obsession with the show and bughead amazingly. Also thank you to @andmybelovedneitherdoyou for helping me out with some of the characters in this and beta reading it for me, I love you tons! Some characters and lines are taken from the show so not all of this fic is my original content!

Warnings - Pregnancy / labour, mentions of pain.

Word count - 5k.

Riverdale tag list - @bucky-j-barnes @adorably-sweet-hufflepuff @kpopgirlbtssvt @booksmusicteaandanimals @happy-puff @cheryllclayton @jesso80 @dietbreadloaf @thebluetint @hppygmc8 @lilireinhartsimp @camiczzzz @bitchy-broken @crazyninjalight @luella-cane @bc-jh22

To join my tag list fill out this form

“Good afternoon, I just wanted to check and see if there was anything you needed before I went on my maternity leave since I won’t be here for a while,” Betty leaned back in her seat as she spoke, her free hand resting over her eight months pregnant stomach. She should have been on maternity leave already for a few weeks now, especially considering how far along she was in her pregnancy, but Betty was stubborn and had refused to only until she really had to. Her and Jughead needed the money from two incomes, especially with a baby on the way, and although Jughead had tried to get her to take it sooner, there was no stopping Betty once she was determined to do something. So at almost eight and a half months pregnant she was still working her office job, selling printers, paper, and other stationery supplies. “Yeah, I’m having a baby. Thank you, you're so kind,” The blonde smiled at the nice comment that the customer had left, scribbling down a note on her pink post-its as they continued. “Great, I’ll type up your order for you now. Thank you, have a nice day.”

“Wait a minute, you can’t do that,” Betty sighed as she put the phone down and looked across her desk, where Bret was seated opposite her. “You cannot exploit your baby for sales.”

“Hey, did I tell you we’re having a baby?” Jughead’s voice cut in from where he was sat on Betty’s left in the middle of herself and Bret speaking with a customer, shooting a wink in the latter’s direction when he started glaring at him.

“Hey, stop that Jones.” He snapped.

“Bret, there is nothing bad about talking about your life. People like that kind of stuff-” Betty started, before she winced and squeezed her eyes shut as her right hand pressed into her side.

Jughead looked up over at his wife’s desk with a small concerned frown, a crease forming in between his eyebrows when seeing the pain she was in. Betty had been having contractions since the morning, though since they were irregular and far apart, they had agreed to wait until they were seven minutes apart before going to the hospital. Their insurance company only covered two nights there so they were trying to hold off until midnight, but seven minutes apart was when they were going if she got there before midnight.

“See? Even your baby hates it. They aren't even born yet and you’re using them for your own personal gain. How disgusting.” Bret scoffed, and Jughead just shook his head at him as he wheeled his chair closer to Betty around the corner of the desk.

“You try giving birth to a baby then, Bret.” Betty shot back towards him once the contraction had pretty much passed, gently squeezing her husband's hand when it had been offered to her.

“Fine, easy, my hips are big enough for an easy birth anyways. Maybe that’s why you’re already so bad, you’re too small.” Bret rolled his eyes.

“Why don’t you have a baby then if you’d be so great at it,” Jughead proposed, somehow managing to keep himself composed through the ridiculous proposal. “Then you could use your own baby for sales.” He shrugged before he leaned back closer to Betty to check that she was okay, leaving Bret staring into the distance as if he was actually considering the idea.

-

“So, what are you thinking about baby names? I’m dying to know.” Veronica enquired with a smile as she leaned against Betty’s desk, beside where the woman herself was seated in her chair.

As silly as it sounded she had been trying to avoid anything that was even rumoured to induce labour; so no spicy food, no sex (although that wasn’t really a problem in the office - at least not recently), and no walking around unless she really had to. Jughead had offered to wheel her around in her desk chair, but after a recent incident with a shopping cart and a cast on Archie’s arm she decided against it and declined his offer.

“Well, if it’s a boy then he’ll be taking up Jughead’s name as the fourth,” Betty smiled when she caught Jughead winking at her from across the desk, deciding to ignore the sarcastic fake yawn that Veronica let out. “And if it’s a girl then we’re thinking, oh-” She cut herself off with a quiet groan, her hands coming around her stomach as she stiffened in her seat. She felt Veronica’s hand on her arm soothingly, and just as she heard her husband start to speak beside her, his voice was soon drowned out by their excited boss making his way out of his office.

“Oh oh! Contraptions she’s contrapting!” Reggie’s voice rang through the office loudly, very clearly excited that Betty’s baby was slowly but surely on the way.

Reggie Mantle was a strange man. For such a well put together man; slicked back hair, expensive looking suits, and the smoothest talk when he needed to sort a business deal - he was honestly quite far from that. To everyone in the office who got to see Reggie outside of formal business and meetings; he was a loud, childish, obnoxious, idiot. To put it politely. He had a good heart, but he either didn’t use it enough or went too far. When it came to Betty and Jughead’s baby, he was definitely pushing it too far.

“Okay!” He clapped, standing in front of the entire office as he grinned. “Someone call an ambulance, grab the go bag. It’s hospital time let’s go!”

“Why do you have a go bag-” Betty started before she was cut off.

“Okay, calm down Reggie,” Jughead shook his head a little, lifting a hand. “We aren’t going to the hospital yet, we’re trying to wait until midnight because of our stupid HMO.”

“Right, of course, Betty cross your legs and keep ‘em in there.” Reggie pointed at her and earned an irritated look in return from Betty as her contraction started passing.

“Yeah sure, I’ll do just that.” Betty muttered sarcastically with a sigh as she managed to relax back in her seat.

Veronica usually had the best chair in the office - she had lied to corporate about some back issues just to get an expensive though very comfortable chair out of them, compared to the cheap and uncomfortable ones that everyone else in the office had - though through the last week of work she had been letting Betty use it to make sure she was comfortable. She could handle an uncomfortable chair for a week. Just about, anyways.

As Bret distracted Reggie with something that led the two to retreat into his office and Veronica left to go and find Archie, Jughead wheeled his chair around the desk again to be beside Betty and gently took her hand.

“Are you sure you don’t want to just go in now?” He asked as he gently ran his thumb across her knuckles.

“No, no I’m fine,” Betty smiled and shook her head as she gently squeezed her husband’s hand. “When they’re seven minutes apart then we���ll go. I really wanna try and make it until twelve, Jug.”

“Okay, as soon as they’re seven minutes apart then we go.” Jughead gently squeezed her hand back and pressed a kiss to her lips for a moment, matching her smile with his own once he had pulled away before he wheeled back to his own seat. Of course he was worried about her, he hated how much pain she had to go through for their baby to come, but he was happy that they would be going to the hospital soon to have their baby - whether it was before midnight or not.

-

“Alright, seven minutes,” Jughead clapped his hands together as he walked over to Betty’s desk where she was sat with a grimace across her features as she gripped the arm rests of her chair, breathing out through her teeth. “Couldn’t quite make it to midnight but that’s okay, we’ll just get you settled at home after. Let me just grab the bag and then we’ll go.” He gently rested his hand on her arm before he turned to leave, though stopped when her hand reached out to grab his arm.

“No no, slow down Jug. I’m okay we don’t have to go yet.” Betty breathed out, and Jughead couldn’t help but frown in confusion and concern.

“What? Betty, no, we need to go.” He shook his head with a frown, becoming increasingly worried that they would be putting it off for too long. Jughead was well aware of how stubborn Betty could be, especially over something like their insurance, but he really didn’t think that it was such a big deal that they wouldn’t get as much time in the hospital as they had liked. He would just settle Betty comfortably in their bedroom when they got home with the bassinet for the baby. He didn’t really get why it was such a big deal to stay at the hospital.

“No, Jug, we can wait a little longer. It’s okay,” She managed to smile a little once her contraction had passed, reaching out to gently take his hand with a gentle squeeze. “The doctor said anywhere between five to seven minutes. We’ve still got time.”

Jughead stared at her for a moment before he sighed and reluctantly gave in, knowing there wasn’t any persuading Betty once she was being stubborn about something. If there was anything he had learnt about his wife after being with her for a good couple of years, it was that she was even more stubborn than him. And that was saying something.

“Fine,” Jughead sighed and nodded. “Fine, we’ll leave at five minutes. But no later, okay? I’m serious, Betty.”

“Of course. Five minutes.” Betty smiled.

Jughead exhaled and nodded as he squeezed her hand again before he sat back in his seat at his desk beside hers, trying to focus back on his work. But he could barely pay attention, glancing back at his wife every few minutes; and practically staring at her with a frown when she had another contraction that left her wincing as she leaned back in her seat.

“Stop staring at me,” Betty breathed out as she met his gaze, her hands cradling her enlarged belly. “I’m fine don’t worry.”

“Okay crazy,” Jughead scoffed as he rolled his eyes. “I think I have some better things to do with my day than worry about you. Like sell printers. Well, now ‘till Friday; twenty percent off all toner cartridges. That’s a big deal. While we’re on the subject why don’t I just run you down to the hospital?”

“Nice try,” Betty shot a finger gun at him, smiling a little more as her husband shook his head irritably. “Five minutes apart, sweetie.”

“Yeah five minutes apart I know.” Jughead grumbled in annoyance, the tapping of his fingers against his keyboard becoming harsher and louder as he grew more irritated.

“Hey, guys,” Archie wheeled over on his seat from across the office, one hand on his arm rest as the other - which was still in a cast - rested in his lap. “Word of advice, speaking as a former baby. Don’t get too hung up on baby names. I was named Walter Jr. named after my great grandfather, until I was about six or so when my cousin was born, and my family changed their mind. They thought my cousin better exemplified the Walter Jr. name so they gave it to him, and I was renamed Archibald out of a baby names book from like the eighteenth century. How cool is that?”

Betty and Jughead blinked and glanced at each other for a moment, trying to process what Archie had just told them, before Jughead nodded as he turned to face him again. “Thanks, Arch. We’ll be careful about it.” He nodded, and Archie grinned at him as he nodded to.

“Oh my god, Betty,” Veronica gasped as she came over, standing beside Archie as she rested her hand over her chest. “You are such a strong and brave woman. Did you know that you could be in labour for like twenty hours? That’s twenty hours of pain like this-“

“Veronica?” Jughead cleared his throat.

“-and your hair and teeth can fall out, like you could lose them all-“

“Veronica.” Jughead repeated a little firmer.

“-and the baby can get stuck and hurt and you can like pass out and bleed really bad-“

“Thank you Veronica for letting us know!” Jughead spoke loudly, causing Veronica to jump and shut up immediately. “Don’t you guys have some work to do?” He shot an irritated glare towards her and Archie, which caused them to just nod before they retreated to their own desks. He looked back at Betty and frowned when he saw her scared expression, reaching across the desk to take her hand. “Hey, that’s not gonna happen with us. You’re already pretty far along. Far enough along to get going already-“

“Jug it’s not happening.” Betty told him, and he rolled his eyes, but frowned when she groaned quietly and clutched at her belly again.

“Okay, baby time!” Reggie stepped out of his office and clapped his hands, a grin over his expression as he walked over towards Betty and Jughead’s desk.

“No, we aren’t going yet.” Betty got out through gritted teeth, and Jughead just sighed as he looked at her, his bottom lip being brought between his teeth for a moment as he started to get a little frustrated.

“Okay, well do you want a distraction to keep you from thinking about it?” Reggie asked, and Jughead practically shot daggers at him as his eye twitched slightly in annoyance.

“Actually, Reggie-“

“Yes please.” Betty cut Jughead off, smiling at Reggie some as Jughead gripped the armrest of his chair tight enough for his fingers to dent the cheap rubber covering it.

“Okay great. Uhm, Jughead and Veronica will you guys go in the break room with her?” Reggie asked as he gestured to Betty, and Jughead had to clamp his jaw to keep from expressing how irritated he was as he stood up and took her arms to help her up and to walk her to the break room along with Veronica.

“Betty, I have this brilliant movie on my laptop we can watch together since Archie doesn’t want to watch it with me. It’s got Leonardo DiCaprio in it; total bae, I know.” Veronica grinned as herself and Jughead helped Betty into one of the seats in the break room beside the many vending machines they had in there.

Once Betty had smiled and nodded Veronica left to get her laptop from her desk, leaving Betty and Jughead alone as he moved to sit beside her.

“You’re annoyingly stubborn, you know that?” He asked her, and she just fondly shook her head as she took his hand.

“You still love me though.” She told him with a smile as she leaned over to kiss his cheek.

Jughead chose to sit with Betty and Veronica to watch the movie, just to make sure Betty was okay and to sit with her through the contractions. At some point Reggie had joined them, which only made Jughead more irritated at his attempt to talk Betty through her contractions, which we’re just extremely annoying.

“Alright, you’re at six minutes apart, another like seventy-five contractions and you’re going to be there.” Reggie told Betty with a grin, earning an irritated look from the couple and a sharp “shh!“ from Veronica who was extremely interested in the movie.

“Six minutes is close enough to five. You know what? I’m just going to call Doctor Keller he’ll know what to do.” Jughead stood up, extremely worried and irritated as he let go of Betty’s hand to grab his cell phone out of his pocket.

“Jug-“

“No Betty we should probably call-“

“Honey we don’t even need to go yet-“

“Actually yes I think we do-“

“Guys can you shut up I’m still watching this movie.”

“Yeah Jug you’re really distracting me from my distraction right now. Sweetie, I love you, but I’m trying to watch this movie.” Betty spoke a little louder over Jughead’s worried rambling, causing his jaw to clench and his eye to twitch in irritation again as he looked at his wife. “Why don’t you try and go do some work?”

“Great,” Jughead nodded with a sarcastic smile. “Of course. I’m sorry for worrying about my wife who’s going into labour.” He huffed as he walked out of the break room, leaving Betty with Veronica and Reggie to watch the movie.

Though instead of going back to his desk he walked straight past it and towards the exit of the office, ignoring Bret’s complaint that he wasn’t working as he quickly went down the stairs and left the building to head towards his car. He unlocked it and got inside, rooting around in one of the bags they kept in the back seat until he found what he was looking for; four pregnancy books.

“Five to seven minutes,” Jughead mumbled as he flipped through the first book, before he tossed it into the back seat and opened the next one. “Five to seven minutes,” He repeated, the next book being thrown. “Six minutes; different, but not really,” He huffed before he opened the next one. “Five to seven minutes.” He groaned and dropped his head down to rest on the steering wheel, though flinched and sat back up when he had accidentally beeped the car horn.

He sat down there on his own for a good five minutes before he heard a light tapping on the car window, and looked up to see Betty stood there. She motioned for him to roll down the car window and he quickly did so, leaning his arm on the door of the car afterwards.

“Hey,” She smiled. “I’m not going to get into the car because I know you’ll try and drive me to the hospital.”

“Ah, you know me too well.” Jughead nodded, fiddling with his tie as he looked up at his wife.

“Jug?”

“Hm?”

“Everything is fine, okay?” Betty smiled reassuringly. “I’m okay, we still have time, she isn't coming for a while yet.”

Jughead froze as Betty did, his mouth dropping open slightly as he met her gaze. “She?” He whispered.

“Oh god I’m sorry,” Betty clamped her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide. “I called the doctor last week, I just couldn’t wait. Are you mad?”

“Mad?” Jughead’s voice broke as he smiled uncontrollably, reaching his hand out of the car to grasp his wife’s gently. “How could I be mad? We’re having a little girl,” He nodded a little as his vision grew slightly blurry, tears collecting along his waterline. “Really?” He asked, and was met with a teary smile from his wife that matched his own as she giggled.

“Yeah,” Betty smiled brightly. “We’re having a baby girl.”

Jughead let out a light laugh and nodded, his smile only widening as he lifted his hand to run over his eyes before he leaned out of the car enough to hug Betty, pressing a kiss against her shoulder. Originally he had wanted to wait until the baby was born to find out the gender. He had refused multiple times when the doctor had asked, not wanting to find out prematurely, but he couldn’t even be the slightest bit unhappy that Betty had let it slip early, the emotions that were running through him in that moment were indescribable; he couldn’t wait to find out how much better it would feel once the baby was born. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Jug.” Betty whispered, gently hugging him back before she let him go so he could lean back into the car.

“Okay, I’m gonna go back upstairs, okay?”

“Okay.” Jughead nodded and smiled as he gave her a once over, but paused when he saw what she was wearing. Before he had left the office she was in her usual attire; a skirt and a jumper. But now she was wearing a pair of maternity leggings and one of his hoodies, an outfit he knew that she kept in the office just in case. “Did you change outfits?”

“Oh yeah, my water broke so I had to.” Betty shrugged before she turned to go back into the office.

“Oh right.” Jughead nodded as he sat back in his seat, still thinking about the baby more than anything else. Though once he had processed what Betty said he sat up and looked over at her just as she was walking back inside. “Wait what?”

-

Jughead had been pacing outside of the break room where Betty was with Reggie for what felt like hours, though in reality it couldn’t have been more than twenty minutes. He knew if he was in there then he would just stress Betty out more with his (rational) worrying, so he opted to stand outside. Though it was definitely worse out there; having to listen to Betty in pain and Reggie’s annoying talks through it was really just setting him even more on edge.

“Okay, that’s fine, almost made it to midnight but you should probably go to the hospital now.” Reggie was saying as Betty groaned again. “Too bad you didn’t have sex like… seven and a half hours later. But you had to have the afternoon delight, I understand, sometimes you just have to go for it.”

“N-no, I’m fine, the doctor said it’s s-still considered a minor contraction as long as I can still talk through it-” Betty barely forced the words out shakily before she groaned, causing Jughead to immediately walk into the room with a frown.

“Okay, Betty we really should go.”

“No, it’s fine,” Betty started as Jughead walked over to her, shaking her head. “That wasn’t even the worst of them, no-” She started rambling as Jughead took one of her arms and Reggie took the other to try and get her out of the seat.

“Betty come on.”

“No, no Jug it’s fine-”

“We should really go now-”

Everyone started talking at once as the men tried their hardest to pull a struggling Betty out of the seat before she scowled and shook her head harshly. “No!” She yelled, tugging her arms away harsh enough for them both to let go of her. “No! No I am not going yet! I’m not going okay? I’m not going because I can’t do this I don’t think I can do this.” Betty’s voice broke as she started crying, her lip trembling as her vision blurred with unshed tears.

Jughead’s gaze softened as he looked at her, a frown curving his lips downwards as her voice filled him with sadness and sympathy for his wife.

“Are you kidding me?” He asked softly as he crouched in front of her chair, taking one of her trembling hands in his as she sniffled in front of him. “Betty, you are the strongest person I know. If anybody can do this then you can, okay?” Jughead asked softly, and she nodded tearily in response. “I’m scared, love, I’m so scared. But this little girl is going to be the luckiest baby out there because she has the best mother in the whole damn world.”

“You’re having a girl? Really? Guys, I wanted to be surprised what the hell?” Reggie complained from across the room.

Jughead only rolled his eyes and chose to ignore him as he turned back to Betty. “Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do; we’re going to get our bag, go down to the car and drive to the hospital, and then we’ll have our beautiful baby girl. Okay?” Jughead squeezed her hand when she nodded and smiled as he stood up to kiss her forehead softly.

“Thank’s Jug.” Betty whispered as she looked at her husband.

Jughead nodded before he turned to look at Reggie, clearing his throat. “How’re we doing on contractions?”

“Two minutes.”

“Two- two minutes?” Jughead asked, a glare quickly being sent to Reggie as frustration quickly bubbled up inside of him. “I thought I said to let me know at five minutes- what good is two minutes that’s too late two minutes doesn’t help us! What happened to four and three minutes huh?” Jughead started rambling as he helped Betty out of her seat who was starting to get worked up again.

“Jug we can still drive-” Betty started, stopping his rambling for a moment, before she gasped and almost fell over at the intensity of her next contraction, groaning as she gripped onto Jughead’s hand tightly.

Jughead frowned and held her up, his free hand rubbing her back as she started crying again. Reggie, who was clearly flustered and not too sure what to do, grabbed Betty’s jacket from the chair and helped Jughead lead Betty out of the room as her contraction started to past.

“It’s go time people!” Reggie yelled across the office, letting Jughead hold Betty up completely as he walked out in front of the whole office. “Veronica call an ambulance!”

“No, ambulances are for emergencies only,” Bret spoke up with a glare. “You call an ambulance I call the cops.”

“We’re driving it’s fine,” Jughead spoke up as he carefully helped Betty sit down at her desk chair, gently pressing a kiss to the crown of her head in hopes of keeping her calm. “I’m just going to grab the bag and we can go, okay?” He asked softly and Betty nodded as she gave him a tearful smile. “Okay.” He gave her arm one last squeeze as he quickly jumped up and practically ran across the office to where they were keeping the bag in one of the cabinets in the kitchen, his heart racing a million miles an hour in the panic and excitement (though mostly panic) that their baby was on the way very soon.

By the time he was back in the main office area everyone was in a panic: Reggie was running around packing his own go bag for some reason, Veronica was squealing excitedly about getting to meet her godchild (they had picked her as the baby’s godmother a few weeks ago and she still hadn’t gotten over it), and even Bret was up and out of his seat, talking to Reggie quickly.

“Okay, we’re ready,” Jughead tried to smile as reassuring as he could towards his wife as he walked back over to her seat with the bag over his shoulders, taking her hands to help her stand up. “Are you good to go-”

“This is ridiculous,” Bret cut him off as he walked over. “Has anyone even checked how dilated she is yet?” As he spoke he pulled out a tape measure and kneeled on the floor in front of Betty.

“Bret!” Jughead and Betty gasped at the same time as he opened the tape measure.

“Bret are you serious?” Reggie scoffed as he walked over. “Give it to Jughead that’s his job.”

As Bret held the tape measure up to give it to Jughead he rolled his eyes and pushed it away, instead moving his hands to his pockets frantically as he started to just freak out further.

“Has anyone seen my keys- where are my keys?” He shouted, before he reached into his trouser pockets and sighed as he pulled them out. “Got them.”

As he started leading Betty out of the room he managed a genuine smile as everyone in the office started shouting goodbye and good luck, and he felt a little relieved when he saw Betty was smiling too. He gave everyone a big wave before he took both of her hands again and led her out of the room and into the elevator so that they could leave.

The whole drive there Jughead kept her hand in his free one, letting her squeeze it as tightly as she needed through contractions and constantly ran his thumb over her knuckles to try and soothe her somewhat. He truthfully was terrified, but wanted to get Betty there as calmly as possible. He didn’t have time to panic about it, as much as he wanted to, he just had to settle with the constant thumping of his heart until they pulled into the hospital and he ran out to grab her a wheelchair.

“We’re here now, okay? Everything is going to go perfect, Betty. We’re going to meet our baby girl soon.” Jughead assured her as he helped her into the wheelchair with a kiss to her forehead.

“I love you, Jug.” Betty smiled as she reached back to take his hand as he wheeled her to the door.

“I love you, too.” He smiled.

There were two doctors at the door waiting, and as they had offered to help her inside Jughead squeezed her hand before he let it go. “I’m just going to park the car, I promise I’ll be back in a minute.” He told her as one of the doctors started wheeling her inside, and smiled at her until he couldn’t see her anymore.

Jughead got back in the car and took a few minutes to find a parking space, though once he had he sat in the car for a minute longer than needed. His fingers reached up to brush along the edge of the scan photo that was clipped to the mirror of the car, an easy smile sweeping across his lips as it took everything inside of him to not get emotional again. Even though he was still panicked and worried and terrified, he couldn’t help but take a moment to smile and breathe.

He was simply excited to meet their little girl, and that would be enough to keep him smiling forever if he could.

[medical-gal]

Death by a thousand cuts

I have been thinking about writing this for months now. Even before I decided to quit the residency at my previous job.

COVID has been kicking our ass, true, but that was (is) true for most healthcare providers all around the world.

No, my struggle started a bit before that actually.

First some background, I have been working at one of the biggest most famous ID clinics in central Europe. The clinic is in a different country than I am originally from so there was a bit of cultural accommodating at the begging. But we were a big group of ID interns/residents/fellows and specialists.

I don't actually remember that much from my first year working there. And I couldn't figure out why, but then I read in some study that when u experience a high dose of stress and/or sleep deprivation for a long time, your brain kinda stopps being able to transcribe short term memory into a long term.

I was working 100hours/week, sometimes less, sometimes more. After a year and a half, when the last half I worked in the ID ER for five months, I always stayed after working 24 hours, sometimes over 36hours, and I would see and treat 70ish patients. Nobody from the older docs would help me out, nobody from other interns either bc usually they would have their own kind of hell to take care of.

The fact that basically, inexperienced doctors are taking care of patients never really phased my ex-boss. Her mantra was that if there was a problem that you cannot resolve, you can call her and she would advise you. Which most of the time was true, I must say that.

But we all have been young docs, barely out of our medical school garments, and sometimes as it happened, we could not recognize there IS a problem that maybe needs a more experienced opinion.

I am often confronted with this idea or more like a culture, of pretending that once you are an MD you don't need help and asking for it is a kind of weakness and that then you are forever on the list of WEAKLINGS.

And let me say this only once.

That's absolute bullshit.

Anyway, the first time I decided to quit I worked there for about a year and a half, I went for a long-expected holiday, I took three weeks off, had interviews and talked with my bf about my options.

Second thing...my man, bless his beard, would support me no matter what. He is almost 10 years older than me, so he has more work experience and I find it reassuring to discuss stuff like this with him bc I know he will not sugarcoat it. He said that I should dig my heels in and last at least one more year till the end of my "internship". As a "resident" who worked at this specific department, I wouldn't have a problem finding another job. We r basically the equivalent of a french legion of medical professionals (when u work in this specific department and everyone knows it, I will come back to that later).

So I took his advice. Thankfully as a part of our training, one of those parts is a year-long internship at the internal medicine department, which I did shortly after we had that conversation and guys, that was a revelation of how medicine and just...work and life can be experienced. There were enough docs for a floor, an attending who had the time to manage and advise us. I´ve grown that year as a doc so much. Other internships were mandatory so I could have become (equivalent of) a resident, and it was a general surgery, anesthesiology, radiology, microbiology etc. But I did them all and became a resident.

The moment I came back to our clinic, my boss would put me in our outpatient department. Which I have never worked on before. The head of the department has quit a few months before, and I had no idea what to do there, bc it's a very different type work. The only thing my boss told me when I spoke of my concerns were "you will learn".

Thankfully the previous head of the department was a good friend of mine and she would always answer my questions and requests. Suddenly I no longer had to deal with the hectic life of an ID floor or ER, no sepsis, meningitis, etc.

Most of my patients were the chronic type...Lyme, chlamydia, mycoplasma... let's say it literally drained the life out of me. But I managed. Also, I started to work for their outpatient office which takes care of patients with chronic hepatatis. That I enjoyed more.

I also started to dip my toes in vaccinology, either planned like for travel but I started to be more interested in preventive care in the immunocompromised and my own phantasmagoria was to make a palliative care team in our hospital. Bc, we had none. And then a wonderful thing happened, other docs, older experienced, great at their work, started to refer their patients to me specifically.

There were more examples of the utter a complete FUCK U(s) which were kindly provided either by the system or by the head of the department or the hospital.

Then covid hit and the shit hit the interstellar space.

I still can't make myself remember the first few months bc it actually causes me to go into a rage fit, and honestly, I am done with that kind of negativity.

I hold out for a year. Year of such shitty treatment from the chief and our hospital head. No thank you- s or you are doing a good job or we r all on the same ship.

No.

People will say that I quit bc of the money. And that's not true, tho it did irk me a bit. All the other ID specialists working at different hospitals would get covid bonuses every month. We got jack shit. Again, the best biggest most know ID clinic. We were the first and oftern the ONLY ones who would test for/diagnose/hospitalize/treat a patient who had covid FOR MONTHS in the beginning.

I mean, the medical community is small, the ID community even smaller so yes, we were able to compare and contrast the work at different ID departments in other hospitals bc our friends worked there. And all of them would go speechless when they would hear from us what we were living thru.

At one point at the beginning of the pandemic, ALL the ambulances would go thru our ER department and we were supposed to decide where the patient should go.

AN EXAMPLE

Ambulance with a woman who has known colon cancer, had a fever, stomach as a rock and is projectile vomiting. I was supposed to decide where she should go and the surgeon would be super pissed when I said that I don't think she has COVID but without PCR I can't be sure but I think there is a bigger pressing issue. I remember him saying:

"well if anyone else gets infected at our department and dies, it's on you."

fun.

There were other examples of seriously stressful episodes which I and my coworkers lived thru, for which we were not trained for, advised, or properly supervised. At a certain point, I started to take anxiolytics before and during my all-nighters bc I didn't know what I would do with all that stress which was so callously shat on me and my coworkers.

For a few months, I stopped working nights, only thru the mercy of my coworkers who saw how exhausted I was and would take my shifts.

Anyway, after only two months I had to start working nights bc I needed the money. The basic pay for docs was just not enough without the extra from night shifts. Talk about exploiting.

The moment however when I decided to QUIT, when I was DONE, when I actually heard my heart break, was the moment at the end of the previous year. They decided to start vaccinating in our tiny small vaccination centre. Let's say a "shit storm" brewing is the light version of events that ensued.

But basically, as I was trying to discuss with my boss that we are all exhausted, that this wave is not slowing down and that throwing more work at us, the docs and nurses and other staff, who are overworked, is not a good idea,

What she basically said to me is that who says things like that is lazy and that if she can handle it everyone must be also.

The thing is..most of us were at the bring. Some would handle it with casual and calous sex, drugs (legal or not), a bottle of wine before sleep. A coworker ended up with antipsychotics.

But u know,

we were all lazy apperently.

I realized there is no way out of this other than quitting. I could not continue being so tired and sad all the time. I took two weeks off, really thought about it. Had diarrhoea and nausea for a week as I realized I will have to quit :D

On a Monday I came back, handed in my notice. Basically what she told me and how she reacted made me realized how right the decision was.

I had to stay there for another three months bc that's the law, but my mood changed significantly.

I got another job in a smaller ID department, working with amazingly kind people, but that's another story.

But that was the only interview I actually looked for and did. I, however, did get several job offers from different types of medicine. From heads of different departments in my old hospital to smaller general medicine chain offices who are looking for ID specialists, to insurance companies.

Like I said, french legion.

Or Runway and your boss is Miranda Pristley. Once u survive that, u survive anything.

But at my old work they would keep hitting you with wave after wave of passive agressive comments about how if u quit, u wont be able to find anything as"prestigious" as this.

There were many other exmaples of a shitty and questionable situations which were treated as "normal" but there is not point on getting on that rage train.

Contrary as it might seem, I am greatful I got to live thru this, good and bad, bc now I know what I am and am not willing to sacrifice for a job. No matter how much I might love it.

[andreafmn]

Running In Circles - Chapter 4

Word Count: 3,783

Characters: Female Reader Rossi Character, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Jennifer “JJ”Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia

Story Description: (Y/N) Rossi is following in her father’s footsteps by joining the BAU team as a profiler. The girl genius knew almost everything but she could have never predicted falling for Aaron Hotchner, her boss and her father’s friend. in their world mutual feelings are not enough to push them together. Will all the adversities and obstacles they face pull them together or push them apart forever?

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Criminal Minds, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and CBS Network. The only thing I own is Arden Rossi, any upcoming characters, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ story line.

Chapter: 4/?

A/N: These next chapters are really just gonna be the necessary episode that contributes to the character's storyline. I'll try my best to compress them into fewer chapters but some I do need for my storyline. If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

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Chapter 4

It’s funny how life moves so quickly, but agonizingly slow at the same time.

We had been on the hunt for the prince of darkness after he resurfaced 26 years after what we thought was his last crime in California. He had been across the 48 continuous states, leaving his mark of crimes all over the map. Initially, we were confused as to why he would reappear in Los Angeles if he never hit the same city twice until we noticed a pattern. Billy Flynn was recreating his original murders to taunt Matt Spicer, a survivor, and tell him he’d be going after Spicer’s family because he wanted recognition for the murder that had made Spicer a “city hero”, he wanted to be part of the story. They were horrible and vile crimes one after the other and we were working nonstop to catch him. The case took a turn when we found out he was going after Ellie and Kristin Spicer, Matt’s daughter, and sister, respectively.

The case took a turn when we sent Spicer and Morgan to retrieve the family thinking Flynn was going to take them from Matt’s house. But it was too late, he had gotten there before them. The duo decided to go to Kristin’s house believing he needed privacy to conduct whatever he was planning. Hotch, Prentiss, and I were in a car as we got intel from Morgan, waiting on the address of the sister’s house. But it didn’t make sense, that wasn’t personal enough for him. It didn’t tie into the story. Being stuck in traffic was exasperating, and it only got worse once we lost cell reception in the middle of a call.

Against my better judgment, we headed to Kristin’s apartment where we found out she had been gone for hours and Morgan had never arrived.

“Something must have changed,” Emily expressed.

“The cells are down,” Kurzbard chimed. “Now how the hell do you find them?”

“What would cause Morgan to change his like that when he knows he can’t tell us?” My father spoke up, worry evident in his eyes.

“The unsub had Spicer’s sister and daughter; Morgan knew he didn’t have a lot of time.” Hotch analyzed.

“So, his first guess had to be right.”

“The unsub attacked Spicer specifically through his family,” Emily commented.

“How long has Spicer’s sister lived here?”

“6-7 months.”

“Well, that’s why they didn’t come here.”

“If the unsub wants to hurt Spicer, hell do it someplace that means something to him. Morgan must have realized the same thing.” I thought. “The unsub and Spicer do share one place in common.”

“Santa Monica.”

“Where he killed his parents,” I finished.

“Let’s go.” Hotch started the quick walk to the cars to speed off to Spicer’s childhood home, where we hoped to find Morgan and the Spicers.

Once we arrived the front yard was covered with emergency vehicles, my mind spiraling to the worse possible scenario. We were already one man down; Flynn had gotten to Spicer. Kristin was in rough shape and Flynn had taken Ellie. Morgan had a pretty nasty head wound, but being the strong-headed man he was he just wanted to get back to work.

“Guys, I’m not going to any hospital until we find that little girl.” He directed himself to the EMT. “Now, please just put a bandage on it.”

“Morgan, what’s the notebook?” I motioned to the small book in front of him.

“I asked the sister to tell me everything she could remember about the unsub.”

“And what’s her condition?”

“It’s bad.”

“I’ll go check on her,” Emily offered. She left with the ambulance and hopefully we could get more information out of her.

Everyone knew Morgan wasn’t in perfect condition to continue working, but we also knew he wouldn’t allow us to make him rest. JJ and Reid arrived at the scene with satellite phones to allow communication to continue while the phone towers were down.

“Any word on Ellie?” JJ asked, clearly worried about the innocent little girl that had been brought into this tragedy. Morgan glared at her with such an intensity we all got uncomfortable. “I was just…”

“It’s not you,” I comforted, going out to follow Morgan, Hotch trailing behind.

Outside he called Garcia, asking for her to run the plates on the RV, treating her coldly. I knew he was desperate, but Penelope was worried, as were the rest of us. Something much worse could’ve happened to him; he could have ended up like Spicer.

“You know, she really needs to be more professional sometimes.” Derek turned.

“She gets the job done every time,” Hotch defended.

“I told him, Hotch.” His voice cracked. “I told him that we should wait for backup but he wouldn’t listen to me. We split up and he headed around back before I could stop him.”

“Morgan, sometimes when it comes to family common sense and procedure go out the window.”

“You do the best you can,” I comforted, laying a hand on his shoulders to let him know he wasn’t alone.

“This unsub raped the aunt and then beat her for no reason. She didn’t resist, guys. And he still pistol-whipped her until her ribs were crushed. He killed Spicer while he was on his knees. He was unarmed. This guy’s a pure psychopath. I want this guy.”

“And we’ll get him.”

“Well, we better do it fast. Taking Ellie was like a game to him. The sick bastard thought it was funny. He’s gonna get pissed off at her, she’s nothing but a little girl. She’s gonna show him fear, and when she does… he’s gonna kill her.”

“Then, what are we doing standing around? Let’s go,” I tried my best to encourage.

We all quickly headed back to the precinct, needing to calculate what his net moves would be. He changed his methods suddenly; all patterns were out the window. Flynn wasn’t devolving he was becoming more calculate, we had to find the ends to his means. And Derek’s attitude wasn’t helping to ease the tension we were all feeling. Thankfully, Emily entered at the right moment. We couldn’t run the plates, possibly Kristin had gotten them wrong, but she remembered something crucial. The radio. Flynn listened to the radio following the sound of his name in the mouths of newscasters, and although this could help us, the LAPD had released everything we knew about the RV, about Ellie, and about him.

“That might force him to dump the RV,” my dad said.

“Or kill…” Spencer started but quickly stopped knowing this wouldn’t help appease the strained situation.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“He could’ve killed you and the sister, but he didn’t. He kept you alive, he can’t be surprised that we know what he’s driving and that he has a hostage,” I explained, my father nodding his head in agreement.

We knew he listened to the radio but not which station, but an idea surfaced in JJ. We could try to work with the Emergency Alert System. Quickly, she got to work to be able to get out a message that we were sure would reach Flynn. On one side of the room, Emily and Morgan were talking about Kristin and what she had made him promise her. The safekeeping of Ellie. Kristin said it wasn’t fair of her to ask that, but Morgan wouldn’t break that promise.

As JJ worked the bureaucratic sinkhole that was the EAS, we got word that Flynn was currently in another house with Ellie. When we arrived at the scene, he was gone, but not for the lack of trying to from the neighbors. They had tried to stop him, but he had already taken that family’s car and was able to speed off. We needed to work even quicker than before, he was getting desperate.

Inside the RV he discarded, Ellie’s hair was found on the floor. Derek got enraged, but Spencer reassured him: “Why would you disguise someone you were going to kill?”

Looking for clues inside, Derek found a pipe and I found a newspaper. As they fixated on more clues from the underlined words on it: “bright, happy child,” Spencer pointed out, Derek thought back on what Flynn had said back at the Spicer house. Flynn was after Ellie all along.

One thing we were wrong on the profile, he was stuck in the delusion of believing he was some sort of grandparent to Ellie; she wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t let Matt survive. In a matter of seconds, the gears in the case started shifting at full speed. Once JJ got through to the Madame Secretary, Hotch assigned her to hostage negotiation through the system, trying to find a way to draw him out. On the other hand, Reid and I were looking over some newspapers that were stored in the RV, the murders we might have thought were his first might not have been. As soon as the lights came back on and the cell towers were up we were contacting Garcia to check the records on a murder investigation from 1968.

Garcia has always worked fast and well, this time it was no different.

“So, Nora Flynn was a prostitute and a drug addict living in a desert community just outside of Los Angeles. It appears bikers were her stock in trade, rough bikers. And one fateful day she and a client were murdered by her 13-year-old son Billy. Shot to death. The costumer, ironically named John, was able to tell the police before he died that Billy made him beg for his life and then shot him anyway.”

“That’s him,” Morgan commented.

“And he was convicted, but...”

“He’s a juvenile,” I said.

“Right. So at 18, he was released in 1973, never heard from again,” Penelope continued.

“Oh, he was heard from,” Emily spoke up.

“And he never released a statement as to why he killed them, although it does appear his childhood was horrific. I’m sending you a picture of him on the day he was released to your PDAs.”

“make sure you send the files to JJ,” Hotch instructed.

“Of course, my liege. Garcia bids you ad…”

She was cut off by Morgan, hopefully, so he could apologize for being so cold. “Garcia, wait a minute.”

He took the phone and left to a more private corner to talk to our tech genius. Also, Hotch had gone outside to help JJ with the tough job she had to do; I did not want to be in her shoes right now. We were all standing around in a circle listening to JJ, we could tell she was nervous and picking her words carefully. At first, it was a little rough, but as soon as she tapped into her motherly instincts it was going way smoother. Hopefully, it hit the nail on the head.

Then we received some unfortunate news, Kristin had passed away. The look of defeat on Derek’s face was painful, Ellie was alone now. But there was some hope – Flynn had let Ellie go. JJ had succeeded. We sped off to the house where Billy Flynn was hiding. Upon arrival we were met with the LAPD, they had a direct line to Flynn sent in and were waiting for contact. It rang as soon as we got there, he was watching us.

“He wants to talk to you,” Kurzbard extended the phone towards Derek.

“What?” His tone was pointed, laced with anger and desperation. “He wants me to come in.”

Morgan started walking towards the house after exchanging some words with Hotch. My heart was beating a million miles an hour and I held onto Emily to stabilize myself. We had no eyes or ears on the inside of the house, and anything could happen whilst we were outside and Derek inside.

A couple of minutes went by until ten shots rang through the house. My heart dropped and tears spilled from my eyes unconsciously. I was expecting for the worse as my hands flew to my gun, ready to enter the house, but Emily held me back as Derek calmly walked out of the house. Emily and Spencer accompanied officers to survey the scene and I stayed behind with my father and Hotch to make sure Derek was okay. My father hugged my shoulders as we watched the reunion between Ellie and Morgan, who thankfully came out of the house unscathed.

On the flight home, I couldn’t help but shed a few tears as the adrenaline from the case was wearing down. Next to me, Derek noticed my mood shift and sat closer to me.

“What’s up, baby girl? What’s got you like this?”

“I don’t know, it’s just back at the house we didn’t know anything and all we hard were the shots; I just thought the worst had happened. I’m just being dumb,” I chuckled, trying to downplay how I was feeling. He was the one who went through the traumatic experience, not me.

“Oh come on, you know it would take more than a couple of knocks and a crazy unsub to take me down. You’re gonna have to put up with me for a long time. All of us,” he motioned to the rest of the team. The ones who were still awake nodded and smiled.

But the team would suffer a huge loss before we knew it. This morning JJ, Strauss, and Hotch had been in Hotch’s office right before we were meant to be on the plane to Atlantic Beach. No one knew what they were meeting about, but it had to be serious.

We all left to the case with the underlying question of what the meeting was about. On the plane we stared at JJ until she confessed about the meeting; the Pentagon had offered her a job twice and Strauss wanted her to take it. As much as we wanted to pick her brain about it, there wasn’t too much news. She had a job offer she didn’t want and our boss wanted her to take it. We needed to focus on the case.

At the moment there were two men in custody, 20-year-old Sid and Jimmy. They were claiming they both had consensual sex with our 19-year-old victim Kate after she left a bar with them. Highly doubtful. The need to break them down psychologically became apparent when there were no plot holes found in their stories by the police. We had no body, two suspects, and a limited amount of time.

As soon as we landed, the team got busy with their assignments. JJ was to stay with the parents, Emily and Morgan were in interrogations, dad and Reid to the bar, and Hotch and I to review the interview videos to find any nonverbal clues to disrupt their story. As quickly as we could work so did Garcia. In minutes she gave us a big background into the kids, criminal troublemakers since their preteens.

We watched intently both interviews, Syd’s directly and Jimmy through recording. Syd was prepotent and standoffish since Derek walked in, not much perturbed him, Jimmy on the other hand had a tell.

“He never mentions her by name,” I said as we watched the interview Emily was carrying out with Jimmy.

“Why not?” Detective Mathias asked.

“He’s distancing himself,” Hotch added. “Depersonalizing the victim.”

“Look at the way he shifts his weight and cracks his neck. His behavior was consistent until Kate was mentioned,” I noted and Hotch nodded. Mathias seemed very interested in the way we analyzed every single movement.

Then, both asked for a polygraph test. As we waited to hear from the polygraph results we got to work on theories.

“So, what if they didn’t do it then we’re back to nothing?” Mathias doubted.

“One of them knows where Kate is,” I said nonchalantly.

“How can you be sure?”

“Because an innocent person doesn’t sit quietly for three days. They get angry and defensive.”

“These guys are going out of their way to appear calm and in control,” Derek added. “They’ve got something to hide.”

We knew they were stalling with the polygraphs, all we had to do is figure out what they knew about Kate’s whereabouts. Hotch then sent JJ back to dig into the parents a little, why would have Kate gone with these two boys if everyone else says she wouldn’t have? JJ adamantly turned and headed to the Pearson couple.

“Hotch, we can’t lose her,” I whispered.

“Strauss thinks we’re all replaceable. I went over her head to try to explain that we’re not.”

It wasn’t the answer we wanted, but it’s the one that we got. At the end of the day, we could be short a team member. And worse, our family would be separated.

But we had to continue working, they had passed the tests. We needed to continue the interviews. Something they were counting on. Dad went in to talk to Syd and Reid talked to Jimmy, the latter having a bit of a short fuse. We were going to continue on and on until they broke.

We had less than three hours until they were released. We needed everything we could get. As Derek pushed Syd, and Emily left Jimmy, Hotch got a call. I quickly picked at his cell and the screen read Strauss. So, I excused myself and left Emily to analyze the pictures that were on Syd’s phone of that night.

“She’s leaving, isn’t she?” I asked, reading Hotch’s defeated posture. He nodded. “There’s nothing you can do?”

“They’re not asking. It’s a direct order,” he rubbed his temples.

“So, she’s going to DC?” He nodded once more. I knew it was hard on him the most. He was the person we all looked onto to keep us united, but this really was out of his hands.

“I really wish there was more I could do,” he sighed. We shared a quick hug in the empty hallway, a way of reassuring him that he didn’t have to carry this news by himself. As we detached, he shared a small smile of relief, a small weight lifting off his shoulders.

“Well, come on. There’s no good in dwelling on it right now. Let’s catch these scumbags and bring back Kate.”

The interviews carried on. We couldn’t be distracted by the sad news. We were picking apart every breath, every movement, every word. Then, as she perused the pictures, JJ noticed in a Kate-less one her phone was present. But, Kate’s phone was in possession of her mother since it was recovered from Kate’s hotel room. The girl had made it back to the hotel.

We started forming our hypothesis. Most of the story they believed to be true because it actually was, they did take her back to the hotel, and they did leave. But Jimmy had felt rejected by Kate since she didn’t pay him much attention, and he had the perfect excuse to come back. So, when he left Syd back home, he went back with Kate’s phone. He lured her outside, possibly drugged her, and took her to his boat. Spencer pointed out that Jimmy was obsessed with the details of the port and Mathias added that at that time of night the blood from the catch would attract hundreds of sharks.

“We asked him if he killed her,” I sighed. “He didn’t. Asked where her body is.”

“He doesn’t know,” Emily added, following my train of thought.

“Technically those aren’t lies,” Spencer stated.

“How can you prove this?”

“We’ll get them to admit it,” Hotch answered Mathias.

Back into the interview room we were. We had our bait, and we were gonna reel in the answers.

After we pushed and got no concrete answers, we knew we had to search the ocean. I left with JJ ad Hotch to the port in hopes that she would be found. The Coast guard was 70 miles out and there was no sign of the young girl. We were getting worried.

“Kate’s an amazing swimmer. If he didn’t kill her when she hit the water, there’s still a chance,” JJ hoped.

“JJ, that’s three days in the ocean,” Hotch stated.

“I know,” she said in a defeated tone.

“This might be a long shot, but she would have been thrown near a dangerous area, which would mean there would be buoy markers. It could be possible that, if she was still alive when she hit the water, she swam all the way to a buoy, and since it’s been three days and hopefully, she has no major wounds, there’s a high probability she could’ve survived.” JJ looked up at me and gave me a small smile.

“Nice catch, (Y/N).” Hotch quickly punched in the number for the helicopter and told them to look closely at any buoys they saw around the area.

“I have a feeling about this one, JJ.” She hugged my shoulders. “We’re gonna find her.”

It wasn’t long until we got the news. Mathias came back to tell us they had found her hugging a buoy, alive. The three of us let out a breath of relief, and the unit chief and I stayed back as JJ went to tell the parents the good news. Although no words were exchanged, when we both looked at each other we knew this victorious feeling would be a short-lived one for the team.

Now that it was over JJ would be gone. When we got back, everyone else knew. JJ came out of the briefing room with a defeated look in her eyes, after a mad Hotch had stormed into his office. It didn’t take long for these brilliant minds to figure out the exchange.

“It’s done,” she sighed.

“It can’t be that simple,” Morgan protested.

“It is,” I said.

“You knew?”

“Figured it out back at the precinct,” I answered JJ. “Hotch got the call while Derek was interviewing Syd. It wasn’t too hard to map out.”

“This job is hard enough. What’re they trying to do, bury us?”

“She’s too good,” Emily said.

“She’s on everybody’s wish list,” dad added. “Our loss is somebody else’s gain.”

“They can’t just take you away,” Spencer said sadly. But they could, and they did.

It was a hard goodbye. She wasn’t truly gone but she wouldn’t be with us anymore. There wouldn’t be a need for a true grieving period, but the JJ-shaped hole that would fall upon the BAU team would be impossible to fill. Our family would not be fully complete until hopefully one day she came back.

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Tag List: @wanniiieeee @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @ssamorganhotchner

[ttorystory]

Mare of Easttown 1x05 Fix it Fic

tv show: Mare of Easttown

pairing: Colin Zabel x Mare Sheehan

spoilers: ep 5 - Illusions

summary: No one except the bad motherf*cker gets killed because we live in a happier world where killing Evan Peter's adorable character is illegal. We can hurt him a lil' bit though. Because we like to suffer-- or at least I do. I'm so sorry. But it's for the bOnDinG reasons, you know.

warnings: shooting, blood, swearing, Colin's cute smile

word count: 1,086

A/N: OH MY GOD, IT'S HAPPENING. I've written my first ever fanfic in English. So it's like, elementary school level of English for which I apologize in advance. BUT I strongly encourage you to let me know about any and every one of my mistakes so I can fix them right away! It'll get better in the next chapters, I promise (I hope). Yes, I do plan a few more chapters. I mean, this is really just a short one, because I wanted to write an ending that episode should have had. But I wanna see Mare visiting Colin in hospital. I wanna see their second date. I wanna see Colin having the future he deserves.

Okay, so that would be all from me for now. If you decide to comment, whether in a positive or a negative way, I will be very grateful. Thank you and enjoy the fic.

“Mare.”

She turns her head towards the quiet call and glances over the table. In a pile of unwashed mugs and other garbage, there is an ashtray full of cigarette butts, and a half-empty pack.

Winstons.

This place is stinking from the very start and her suspicion is growing with every passing second.

“Zabel,” she whispers, reaching to her belt and reminding him there is nothing there, as she is officially still suspended. “No gun.”

It is a signal that it is he who has to be prepared if anything goes down with the odd guy. Her gaze follows the direction he’d gone, awaiting the music to stop. But her colleague quietly addresses her again.

“Mare.”

His hand outstretched, he is handing her his gun. Mare hesitates for a second, but there isn’t much time to discuss the topic, so she just takes it and hides it under her jacket quickly.

Besides, Mare knows it is a good move. She trusts Zabel and she knows he is capable, but he doesn’t have that much experience. God knows if he ever actually used the gun out in the field before. In some situations, it’s either you or the other man, and if you wanna survive you have to act quickly. And this situation? She has a bad fucking feeling about it.

Her intuition is proven right when only minutes later the bastard, Mr. Potts, shoots Zabel. He would have killed him on the spot if she didn’t shoot the man at the exact same time, diverting the bullet.

After a few endless minutes of shooting and fighting, Potts finally drops dead. Mare sinks down to her knees, panting. Those poor girls are screaming upstairs but she knows they can wait a little longer, now there is nothing to cause them any more harm. There is a person though who needs more acute help.

“Zabel!”

Her colleague is half lying on the floor, half leaning on a cupboard, squeezing his left shoulder and shaking. Mare hurries to him, taking her jacket off so she can cover him partially.

“Zabel, it’s over. Help's on the way, okay?”

She takes off her shirt as well and tries to tie it around his shoulder somehow so that the wound would stop bleeding. Zabel groans in pain but holds still.

“You’re hurt,” he says softly, panting.

Mare gives her bleeding wrist a quick look. The adrenaline running in her veins caused her to forget the injury. There is probably some small wound on her face as well, but it is nothing compared to the risk Zabel is exposed to at the moment.

“Yeah, well, you’re more hurt. Keep the pressure here,” she says, pressing his palm onto the coverage of the wound. The bleeding seems bad, but the bullet didn't hit any important organ. The police and ambulance will be here in no time. He should be fine. He has to be.

“I knew why-- why I was giving you-- the gun,” Zabel continues through the pain, his eyes looking and their hands pressed on his shoulder.

“Well, there’s gonna be a shitload of paperwork about this mess,” she smirks gloomily. Two officers - one of them off duty - injured, one dead weirdo, two missing girls being held in the attic. Mare brushes some hair away from her face, checking if there is blood on her fingers. This might be the first time she is kinda glad she is suspended.

“Mare, you-- you saved--”

Even though trying to say something, Zabel’s head starts falling to a side as his eyes are slowly about to close. Mare grabs him by the chin immediately.

“Hey, hey, eyes up! Stay with me, Zabel! The ambulance is here in a minute!” she orders, the tone of her voice urgent, while still holding his chin and trying to keep his gaze focused on her face.

A smile appears on the young man’s face.

“‘course I wanna stay with you… Mare.”

She has to stop herself from rolling her eyes in disbelief. “You’re being smooth now?”

That adorable, boy-like smile of his. Giving it to her even while basically fighting the loss of consciousness. What a dumbo. Her lips curl into a faint smile, too.

Glancing away, Mare realizes that girls who had been silent for a while are making hell of a noise again. And she knows why right away - there are police and ambulance sirens roaring nearby, approaching them finally.

Mare moves herself closer to the door so she can kick it more open. Swiftly she returns back to her colleague, whose head and hand are falling, obviously tired, again.

“They’re here, Zabel. You gotta hold on,” she urges him, one hand pressed on his wound, the other slapping his face slightly. She can hear several vehicles stopping outside of the house.

“Look at me, Zabel. Zabel! Colin!”

He mumbles something right just as the police officers and paramedics burst inside and the room around Mare starts to fill up.

Someone helps her to her feet, other people are taking care of Colin. She hears names and ranks, she tells them theirs, and then they are taking her outside, but she has one more important thing to say.

“There’re girls... they’re locked upstairs!” she shouts to the officers, turning backward partially. “Katie! Katie Bailey and…”

“That’s okay, ma’am, they’ll look into it,” a paramedic assures her, as he is guiding her to the ambulance. Mare sees Colin lying on the medical stretches, being taken to the vehicle alongside her.

“You okay?” she asks when he is next to her, even though he is lying with an oxygen mask over his face and eyes barely opened. She looks at the other paramedic. “Will he be fine?”

“I believe so, yes.”

“Don’t you fucking dare dying, Zabel!” she says warningly. She thinks she hears him murmur an answer and it calms her down a bit. He just can’t die. He won’t.

She sits where the paramedic tells her to and she lets him treat injuries, not listening to what he is saying to her.

People around her should stop fucking dying.

“Maybe you should lie down?” the man suggests.

“I’m fine.”

He’ll be fine as well. He has to be. They’ll take care of his shoulder and he’ll get through it.

She spots an officer coming up to her. She knows her, it’s Sergeant Diane Gibbson from this district.

Fuck, she’ll even go on another date with him if he asks.

Sergeant nods in greeting.

“Mare.”