#he’s finally gonna be driving a car instead of a tractor

[midnight-chevy]

OH MY GOD FUCKING FINALLY!!!!!!!!

[pinkiemachine]

Superman: Origin Story! 🎉

Part one involving what became of Krypton and the rest of the El family will be linked below.

Lara and Cal crash landed together on Earth (specifically, outside of Smallville Kansas) in the summer of 1977 with their escape pod badly damaged, and Lara bleeding out. As luck would have it, a young couple was driving through that part of the country and saw what they thought was a plane of some sort crash land. John Kent jumped out of the car and went to check to see if there were survivors and found a Kryptonian escape pod, steaming and smoking, with a woman and baby inside. Lara could tell that she didn’t have much time. Attempting to speak to John (though, he didn’t understand her language) she asked that he would take care of her son and bring help. Along with Cal, she also gave John a small, hand-held device that he couldn’t figure out the purpose of. Then… she died.

John was left standing there, not knowing what to do for a few seconds. Ultimately, he figured he ought to bury the body out of respect, so he ran back to his wife to give her the baby. By that point, though, there were already dark shapes on the horizon. Martha spotted them. Black helicopters. The Kents got in their car and sped away as quickly as they could, not wanting to get tangled up in whatever conspiracy this was. John didn’t take them back to house that night. Instead, they kept driving until they reached his sister Emma’s house where they would lay low for a while.

Martha was still holding baby Cal and she couldn’t bear to let him go. She had suffered a miscarriage just a week before and immediately fell in love with the boy. There would be no getting rid of him now. They decided to name him Clark, after a word John thought that the woman in the pod had tried to say to him.

After the black helicopters had gone, and after the crashed pod had mysteriously disappeared, John and Martha went back home and continued on with life. Naturally, they had a million questions, but answers would be very tricky to supply unless they wanted to poke their noses into uncertain places. So they kept to themselves. Clark, meanwhile, was growing up fast and strong. Literally. By the time he was two, he was lifting things he really shouldn’t be able to, running faster than they could keep up with, and falling out trees on purpose (not sustaining any injuries) because it was fun. This was their first inkling that Clark might not be human. (After all, Kryptonians do look a lot like humans.)

I would also like to mention that in this version, Clark has siblings. Yes, a few years after saving Clark, Martha gave birth to another son, Micheal. Then came Sean, then Rueben, and finally Suzie. They all worked together on their father’s farm, though it was kind of an open secret who did most of the work. Clark would out-perform his brothers constantly, and it had become quite the sore spot in the family. But, when the tractor breaks down, who’re you gonna call to get it back to the barn? Probably the superhuman son who can lift it with one hand and fly. They did have a lot of good times as well. They got up to so much stupid stuff…heheh… story for another time.

Clark was told from a young age that he was allowed to use his powers on the farm, but nowhere else. Especially not in town. John and Martha were worried the black helicopters might come back. So Clark did his best, but rumours still abounded. Some of the other kids in his class at school even called him an “alien” because of how weird he acted sometimes. Naturally, he had been told his origins by this point. When he was six, his parents sat him down and explained about the pod and his mother and John gave him the small device that Lara had given him. The moment Clark touched it, it activated. It was a holo-photo projector, and it displayed a portrait of the El family, baby Clark included. This was proof that Clark was from the stars, and from that moment onward, he became obsessed with outer space. By the time he was in middle school, he had star maps and rocket posters pinned up in his room, he tracked down every scrap of alien news and conspiracy theories that he could find, and tried to send out radio signals into deep space with his own dinky, homemade system in the family tree house. He loved his adoptive family, he did, but he also wanted to know what had happened to the rest of his birth family. Were they out there? Did they know where he was? That he was alive? He had so many questions!

Alas, time flew by, and no answers appeared. He had a falling out with one of his brothers (involving Clark losing control and accidentally hurting one of the family dogs with his laser vision) and after high school he left to get a degree in investigative journalism, later taking a job at the Daily Planet in Metropolis. He still talked to his brothers and sister and Ma and Pa, but he felt alienated. He didn’t really belong anywhere. That’s why this job was so important. He would scour the ends of the Earth to find answers.

Little did he know, though, that the escape pod and Lara’s body had been taken by the government and were being experimented on. Head of the classified project currently: Amanda Waller. Most invested investor: Lex Luthor.

Part one here 👇

[joezworld]

Traintober Day 21

Today's Prompt: Off the rails... again!

I don't know what it says about me when I see a prompt called off the rails and immediately do 1,800 words about Bulgy before a train is even mentioned.

(Also, this happens just before the events of Day 14's story)

-

Smashing!

Bulgy is a rather disagreeable old bus on the Island of Sodor. Many years ago, he had gotten stuck underneath a bridge on Duck’s branch line, causing damage to both it and himself. As a result, his owners abandoned him in a field next to the line and the farmer who owned it used Bulgy as a henhouse!

However, this was not the end of Bulgy. Farmer Drury, his new owner, was a very successful man who owned several farms across the Island. As his business grew, he repaired Bulgy and put him back on the road as a farm transport vehicle and rolling storage bin - a duty that Bulgy hated even more than being a henhouse!

He complained bitterly about his treatment for many years, often irritating Farmer Drury in the process, and thus ensuring that he would never be anything more than a dirty work vehicle for as long as Farmer Drury owned him!

Eventually, Bulgy’s fortunes improved - although his attitude didn’t - when Farmer Drury retired and handed the business over to his son David.

David Drury had gone to school on the mainland, and unlike most Sudrians, was rather obsessed with old cars instead of old trains. He owned several classic race cars and the Island’s only Ferrari, so when he discovered Bulgy in the back of his father’s barn he was immediately taken with him. Almost before Bulgy knew what was happening, David Drury had restored him to ‘concours condition’, and he went from a dirty, dusty, and creaking work van to a pristine ‘show bus’ so fast that his eyes spun!

Now Bulgy was more or less permanently retired, living inside a nice warm garage on the outskirts of Marthwaite village. He never had to work, or get dirty, or even go out in the rain!

Except for one time…

April 13, 2015

Bulgy was startled awake by the door to his garage being thrown open. “Whassat?!” He groaned, trying to blink the sleep from his eyes.

“Come on Bulgy!” It was David, his owner. “We’ve got a sticky situation down in Hackenbeck. Let’s go!”

Far, far too quickly for Bulgy’s liking, he was started up, put into gear, and driven away. “What’s wrong?” He asked. “Where’re we going?”

“Those moro-” David started angrily, before calming himself. “I have been trying to rebuild the roof on one of the storage barns in the Hackenbeck farm for a month, and when the roofers finally show up, they didn’t check the weather, tore off the roof with no plan to finish it, and it’s going to rain this afternoon, so we need to finish the roof today or the entire harvest will be ruined!”

“Whaddya need me for?”

“The van broke down! You’re the only other big vehicle I’ve got that’s road legal!”

“You’re gonna make me work?!”

“I’m sorry Bulgy, but it’s only for today - look, I’ll make it up to you later, okay?”

Bulgy acquiesced, but grumbled all the way to Hackenbeck.

The barn was located near the railroad line, accessible by a dusty and rutted tractor path that crossed the line at one point. Bulgy grimaced as he bounced down the “road” - this was no place for a show bus - even the four wheel drive pickup trucks were complaining about the potholes, and he could feel his paintwork getting dirtier with each passing second.

It didn’t get any better after that - his owner was serious about him working, and Bulgy made five trips into town for supplies like wood planks, nails, lunch, scaffolding, and even huge buckets of tar. It was disgusting and dirty work, and he hated every minute of it - at one point, men had to stand on his roof to do work, and after that he was quite literally dirty from top to bottom.

Then the rain came.

According to the weather forecast, the real downpour wasn’t to start until later that night, but the broken clouds started to knit themselves back together as the clock struck four. The men had just enough time to hang tarpaulins over the unfinished sections of roof before the deluge started, so the grain harvest wasn’t spoiled, but everything else was soaked. Anyone who couldn’t hide in the barn took refuge inside Bulgy, and he growled as muddy boots clomped across his floors, sweaty clothes fouled his seats and dirty water dripped off of his bonnet and into his eyes. “I thought I was done with this sort o’ nonsense…”

Fortunately for Bulgy, the rain shower was short-lived, and everyone resumed work after it passed, leaving him alone for the first time since the morning.

“Oi! Mate!” Evidently he couldn’t be alone for too long, could he?

Cracking an eye open, he found a big Volvo HGV with Irish registration plates idling next to him. “Can you please bother someone else?” He asked, doing his best to be polite.

“Rude.” The lorry said before continuing on anyway. “But I’m in a bit of a pickle - ya see, I’m supposed to be in someplace called “Wellsworth”, but my GPS conked out me, see? So now I’m lost.”

“Have your driver talk to Mister Drury - it’s his farm you’re on.” Bulgy said dismissively.

“Driver?” The lorry said, before looking at Bulgy more closely. “Oh, this is one of those places.”

Then the lorry drove away, leaving Bulgy confused and feeling vaguely insulted. “Well I never...!” He said, before realizing that he probably had at some point.

“Well, s’not my problem anymore.” He said after a moment. Seeing as everyone else was occupied, he closed his eyes and tried to take a nap.

“Come on Bulgy, no rest for the weary!” David Drury said as he hopped into the driver’s seat.

“What now?”

“That lorry has gotten himself good and lost, so we’re going to show him the road into town.”

“Why’ve I got to do it? I’ll sink into the mud!”

“You’ll do it because everyone else is busy.” David said. Looking over at the other quad bikes, four-by-fours, and Land Rovers, Bulgy was forced to admit that he was the only vehicle not in use at the moment and so he bounced and juddered and sloshed along the now-muddy path towards the road.

Then there was trouble.

The railway line was on a slightly raised embankment to allow for drainage. This hadn’t been an issue before, but now the small hill leading to the tracks was nothing but slippery mud. Furthermore, the path itself was narrow, with only enough room for one vehicle to go through at a time - if two were coming in opposite directions, one of them would have to pull off to the side of the road. As they approached the crossing, an orange tractor with caterpillar treads was pulling a trailer over the line, so Bulgy and the lorry pulled over at the bottom of the hill to let him pass. As they set off, neither Bulgy, David, nor the lorry realized that the road up to the tracks was nothing but mud - the tractor had made it look easy with his treads, and didn’t say anything more than “Hello!” as he passed them. Not realizing what was about to happen, David drove Bulgy up the hill from a standing stop.

If they’d been traveling at speed, they might have made it, but when Bulgy’s front wheels bumped over the rails, his back wheels weren’t going fast enough to push him over, and he stuck fast on top of the tracks, his rear wheels spinning furiously but unable to gain any traction in the slick mud.

“Oi!” Yelled the lorry as mud pelted him. “Stoppit! Yer stuck there! Get a chain and I’ll pull ya free!”

A rummage through storage compartments in both Bulgy and the Lorry revealed that neither of them had a chain strong enough. David called back for one of his employees to send a thicker chain - they arrived on a quad bike, along with the orange tractor - who introduced himself as Terrance - and his driver.

“I say,” Terrance observed idly as the men tried to figure out where they could attach the chain without damaging Bulgy. “You picked a most inopportune time to do this - Thomas will be most upset if his passengers are delayed.”

David, Bulgy, and the lorry went very still and very pale.

“You did call the railway, didn’t you?”

“Jus’ hook that chain to anything!” Bulgy bellowed. “Get me off of here!”

“Now let’s… let’s be calm.” David sounded anything but as he poked his mobile phone urgently. “We still have time to call - all we need to do is find out what the bleeding number is!”

As it turned out, they didn’t have time.

A steam whistle sounded in the distance, putting everyone into a panic. David’s employee tore off on the quad bike, trying to stop the train before it arrived, while David and Terrance’s driver tried desperately to mount the chain. “It’s not going on! There’s no hook on this end!” They yelled.

“Get in, put him in low gear, and when I say, step on it!” The lorry ordered. David scrambled into the driver’s seat, and frantically engaged first gear.

The whistle sounded again - the noise echoing off the surrounding hills to the point where its location couldn’t be determined.

The lorry grimaced. “This is gonna suck.” He muttered, before revving his own engine. “Now!”

Bulgy’s engine roared, and mud flew everywhere. Black exhaust poured from the lorry as he engaged his low-range gearbox and charged up the incline.

With a thunderous CRUNCH he slammed into Bulgy’s rear bumper.

The whistle sounded again, this time much longer and more urgent. The quad bike must not have gotten very far, which meant that the train was close indeed.

The lorry’s wheels spun, but he revved his engine well past the red line on his tachometer as he put all of his considerable strength against Bulgy.

The train appeared from behind the trees. Terrance noted with some detached portion of his mind that it wasn’t Thomas pulling the train, but rather a big engine he’d never seen before. As soon as the engine saw Bulgy, they yelled in panic and put on their brakes, but it wasn’t going to be enough…

The lorry’s wheel dug deep enough into the thick mud to find dry dirt. With a lurch and a roar he surged forward, shoving Bulgy off of the line and onto the downhill on the other side. Seconds later, the lorry followed, his back wheels clearing the tracks in just a few seconds.

But there was still his trailer. It was a long canvas sided box trailer, fully loaded with cargo, and its wheels sank into the mud a few inches as it rolled up the hill. Those few inches were the differences between safety and disaster, and the trailer’s low-hanging side underride guards caught between the rails with a screech that brought the lorry to a standstill.

“Go!” He shouted to Bulgy as he roared his engine, trying to break free.

Bulgy needed no encouragement, and raced forwards as the train got closer and closer.

The lorry pulled so hard that the trailer’s king pin snapped in half, and he shot forwards, leaving the trailer sitting astride the train tracks.

Terrance and his driver could only watch in horror as the train got closer and closer, before…

Later

Stephen Hatt arrived at the crash site to find a much more colourful scene than he’d been expecting. “Is that… paint?” He asked the Hackenbeck stationmaster, who was acting as the incident commander.

“Yes sir. The lorry was full - over thirty tons worth.” The man said as he strategically stepped over puddles of silver and yellow that were soaking into the ground despite the best efforts of the cleanup crew. Tornado had still been going at well over thirty miles an hour when she impacted the lorry, and paint had been fired in every which way as the trailer had more or less exploded on impact. Following that, there was a two hundred foot long streak of Dulux-coated destruction leading down the trackbed as the mangled trailer had been dragged along before it came apart at the seams and was deposited along the lineside.

Then there was Tornado herself, who had collided with the trailer before it started to come apart, and had therefore been impacted by individual cans of paint, instead of a fine spray of liquid colour. As a result, her LNER green was covered from buffer to cab in huge blotches of dull green, bright yellow, metallic blue, glossy red, vibrant purple, and flat white from individual cans smashing against her. In some spots, the colors had mixed together, forming steaks of orange, brown, black, and gray that ran down her boiler in a way vaguely reminiscent of a Jackson Pollock painting.

Fortunately, no one was hurt. Tornado was pulling a goods train, and despite some minor damage to her buffers and front end - miraculously, her smoke deflectors hadn’t been damaged thanks to the trailer having canvas walls - she had only derailed her leading bogie, and was actually smiling as gold paint dripped down her nose. “Well, I think I caused some confusion and delay, didn’t I?”

“Now, now,” Stephen said as he inspected her himself - the Trust was going to have a conniption as it was, so he’d better make damn sure that there was nothing seriously wrong. “I wouldn’t say you were responsible for this,” His eyes sparkled mischievously as he looked over her damaged front end. Nothing seemed to be too amiss other than the obvious, thankfully. “But I would say that you have busted your buffers.”

Tornado laughed as the rest of the breakdown crew sighed deeply.

--

It never did rain that night, (“Whaddya mean it didn’t rain?! I almost died for nuthin?” “Calm down Bulgy.” “Calm down?! Mister Drury, those blasted trains almost turned me into scrap! See, I was right! We need to rip up all the rails and turn them into nice smooth Boulevards!” “Not this again…”) and with the dry conditions, it only took Wendell and the breakdown train until midnight to finally get Tornado to the works. It was very late, and everyone was very tired, so Tornado and the cranes were already asleep when Wendell shunted them away.

Wendell was himself exhausted, and rolled into his berth at the works intent on sleeping until someone came to wake him up.

“Oi - wha’s the score with the mystery one?” Bloomer hissed from where the men had been working on him.

“I think she was at a heritage railroad for a while.” Wendell groaned as his crew set his brakes and left. “She definitely knows more about BR than any other engine I’ve met.”

“How so?”

“She knew the firing order of my engine - I think it’s safe to say that she was someplace with an archive, or the NRM has gotten very loose with their records department.”

“Huh,” Snorted Bloomer, who, like any engine that had been within earshot of Gordon in the last few years, was well aware of the NRM’s fall from grace. “Mebbe she’s just a smart egg.”

“Easter egg, more like…” Wendell yawned. “Hard boiled and painted and all; She just took a lorry’s worth of paint to the face and thought it was the highlight of her day.”

“Paint?” Bloomer peered outside of the shed doors. “Mercy me! Look at her! She’s coated!”

Wendell didn’t respond, and when Bloomer looked over, he found the diesel already fast asleep.

“Ugh, young engines these days!”

----

Several days later

The men had had their work cut out for them. The paint was latex and enamel based house paint, and it didn’t want to come off without strong solvents, the use of which also stripped off Tornado’s paint and undercoat. It took two whole days for the men to find all of the paint - it had worked its way into every crease and crevice in Tornado’s body, and if the Fat Controller hadn’t authorized copious amounts of overtime, it likely would have taken far longer.

This process was not helped by the fact that removing Tornado’s plating revealed the numerous modifications she’d received from her time in Germany - while they were safe from the paint, they weren’t safe from the deeply curious mechanical staff, who swarmed over her with cameras and notebooks, trying to determine what everything was. If it weren’t for the works manager telling them to get back to their jobs, they likely would have stayed there all day!

Eventually, the mechanical staff were shooed away, the paint was stripped off, a spot of rust on her running board was found and cleaned, the workers were able to finish, and Tornado was finally reassembled and rolled into the paint shop to be repainted into LNER green.

Except…

“We don’t have any green? On this railway?” The foreman stared at the head painter disbelievingly.

“Not this shade.” The woman said. “And somebody didn’t clear it with me before they started stripping, which means there’s none to sample, so we can’t make more.” In anticipation of a new coat, they’d decided to strip the paint off of Tornado’s tender as well. At the time it had seemed like a good idea.

“Don’t we have other greens?”

“Yes. Great Western green.” A long pause followed this. “Do you want to be the one who painted the pride of the LNER in GWR colours?”

“BR Blue?”

“Only the diesel shade of Rail Blue.”

“Henry’s Green?”

“On backorder.”

“... James' Red?”

“No.”

“Well, what do we have?”

“In sufficient quantities?” A tin of paint was produced. “This.”

“We can’t use that! They’ll think we’ve bought her!”

“Well it’s either this, or we ask the Skarloey Railway if they’ve got any of their red going spare, but considering she's bigger than all of their engines put together...”

“Okay… point made, but we’re going to have to make sure that we don’t do any of the striping or numbers - I don’t want the rest of the engines to think that we’ve bought her or anything.”

-

Tornado was actually hyperventilating as the paint shop workers buffed and polished the freshly-applied numbers and striping. She’d caught a few glimpses of herself in the mirror mounted on the far wall, and had been unable to contain herself since. “You’ve got the pictures?” She asked the head painter.

“Of course we have,” She said genially. “Now let’s get you outside for some more in the sun. Maybe we’ll even get everyone for a posed shot like they did in the twenties.”

They’d done a pressure test to make sure that nothing had been damaged in the collision, and Tornado had just enough steam left to roll into the yard under her own power.

In the yard, the midday sun was shining, the air was clear, and there were many pictures to be taken of her new paintwork. It took over an hour, and when the workers finally retreated into the sheds to work on “other jobs”, she was left alone.

“I still can’t believe it.” She said to herself quietly. “It’s like I’m really one of them.”

When the paint crew had told her they only had the NWR’s blue paint on hand, she’d been a little excited. Now that it was applied and dry, she was much more so. The red lining and gold numbers on her tender and frame completed the look, and if one ignored the smoke deflectors and squinted slightly, she could almost pass as a copy of Gordon.

Even without any steam, she could feel the excitement bubbling up through her boiler. “I’m a really useful engine you know,” She sang to herself, not really caring if anyone was listening.

“All the other engines they tell me so,

I huff and puff and whistle, rushing to and fro,

I’m the really useful engine we adore!”

She’d found the instrumentals of the song somewhere, and it quietly began playing.

“I’m the one! I’m the Really Useful Engine that we adore

I’m the one, I’m the Number One

Torna-”

“Peep Peep! Hello Fatfac- oh you’re not Gordon!” A blue tank engine had pulled alongside her.

He had six small wheels.

A short stumpy funnel.

A short stumpy boiler.

And a short stumpy dome.

“EEEP!”

[imtryingmybeskar]

So I'm sure we have all seen Pedro in the overalls today and my beautiful friend suggested a farmboy fic and I couldn't rest until I made it a reality.

*Disclaimers* I know nothing about farming, nor am I from the US. I imagined him as having a softer version of the Whiskey accent.

18+ only! You know the drill. 3.9k words.

The first time you saw him he was striding along the dusty road to your farmhouse, the sun at his back, his shadow stretching long ahead of him. Only someone looking for work and out of luck with it would be approaching at this late hour. From your perch at your bedroom window, you could look down and see the fatigue in the set of his shoulders, the dejection in the bow of his head. As he neared he stopped and dropped his pack to the ground before attempting to make himself presentable - raking his hand through his dark hair before setting his cap back on, dusting the legs of his overalls free of as much of the dirt of the road as he could, and finally straightening his back, righting his posture to make himself look strong, tall, not as hard up as he was. His rap at the door came as you were nearly at the bottom of the stairs and your dog, who had been peacefully sleeping at his approach finally woke and defended in a storm of paws and tail and barking.

"Hey! No!" you told her, and she quietened down and stayed where you told her to, in the line of sight from the doorway but no immediate threat to anyone on the other side. Opening the door you were greeted by the sight of a not-so-young-anymore man. Despite his efforts to clean himself up, his arms were streaked with grime and sweat and you could see the stains of his exertion under his arms and at his neck. His head remained bowed as he began to speak and you got the feeling he had replayed this spiel many times recently.

"Ma'am, I'm very sorry to trouble you. I'm here to see if you are lookin' to take on anyone at the farm at this time?" His voice was deep and rich with an enticing southern twang, sweet as honey whiskey.

"What kind of work can you do?" His eyes raised to your face and the hope you saw in their soft, dark depths almost melted you. As if he hadn't even gotten this far along with anyone for a very long time.

"Just about anything," he answered. "I can drive - harvesters, tractors. I can take care of all kinds of animals, muck 'em out, feed 'em. I've helped birth 'em too, though I know that time is passed for this year. I can sow and harvest by hand too if that's needed. And I can mend things, fences, roofs, you name it." Looking at him appraisingly, your curiosity got the better of you.

"Why are you on foot? Must have travelled an awful long way to get all the way out here." He looked down again, presenting you with the brim of his cap to look at instead and shuffling his feet awkwardly.

"I uh...I lost my own farm. Not too long ago. Sold everything I had to try and keep it afloat. Even my car."

"So, if I were to take you on-" his head snapped up eagerly again. "IF" you emphasised, "Would you be needing a place to stay as well?"

"If you had anywhere that could accommodate me, I would be most grateful for that, yes Ma'am."

"I want you to know that I've been out here on my own for a time. I know how to take care of myself. And I'm sure you heard and can see Tank behind me there." He was nodding as you spoke.

"I don't want no trouble. Just a job and a roof over my head." You eyed him for a few seconds more before stepping back from the door to let him in. He entered gingerly, staring around wide eyed as if he hadn't been inside a house for a long time.

"You hungry?"

"No...I mean, I don't wanna impose-"

"No imposition. If you're gonna work for me, you need feeding. Come with me." The dog whined a little as you approached, and you stroked her head. "Come!" you commanded the dog and she raced away ahead of you. Checking to see the man was following, you led him past the stairs and through the living area to the back. Here you had a small extension set up, with a bathroom and shower and a small room with a sofa which opened out into a bed, ostensibly for guests, though you hadn't had any for years. "You can get yourself cleaned up here. Any clothes you want to wash, you can do in the morning. There's no door to this room, so the only privacy you'll get is in the bathroom I'm afraid."

"This is...fantastic," he said in a low tone. "I've slept outside for a week or more, so this is just...Thank you ma'am," he finished, humbly. You left him to it and went to prepare him a plate of leftovers. When he finally emerged, scrubbed and fresh half an hour later, you bid him sit at the table and presented him with it. Without all that dirt streaking him and without his cap on you could finally see how good he looked and you had to tear your eyes away from the fullness of his lips before you went too far down that rabbit hole. The man was clearly desperate, hanging on to the shreds of the dignity of his old life by his fingertips. There was no way you were going to make him feel like he owed you anything by taking him in. You left him be until you heard him hum with satiated pleasure about ten minutes later.

"Better?" you asked.

"Better," he smiled.

"I see you've made a friend," you said wryly, gesturing to the large hairy head currently resting on one of his feet. You trusted your gut about this man, you didn't imagine him to be anything than he had said he was. But you had to be cautious for obvious reasons. The dog, however, had proved to be a truly excellent judge of character in the past and it warmed you to see her take to him so readily.

"I think I may have bribed my way into her affections. Chicken," he clarified.

"That'll do it," you smiled. He insisted on washing his own plate and then there was an awkward silence between you for a time as he stood in your living room, not really knowing what to do with himself. "Hey, you can sit and watch TV with me, or you can hit your bed if you want. I won't be offended either way."

"I...I think I will go to bed. I'm kinda lookin' forward to it."

"I can understand that," you said as you handed him pillows, blankets and fresh sheets to make it up with. "Just so you know, the dog sleeps down here too. She shouldn't wake you. And help yourself to water in the night, coffee in the morning. Whatever you want."

"Thank you," he said again, his eyes catching yours and looking happier than you had seen them thus far. "Goodnight."

The man worked like a machine. Having lived this life for many years, you were accustomed to being up before dawn, but he beat you to it the next morning, greeting you with a soft "Good morning," and handing you a cup of coffee that he had prepared. He kept up a pace all day, and you moved around each other around the farm, lifting your hands or voices in greeting when you passed. You couldn't help but notice how the soft cotton of his shirt creaked at the seams when he moved his broad shoulders, nor how deft his hands were at every task he set them to. The dog had begun to follow him everywhere and you found yourself liking that too, despite the mild sting of betrayal. He came in to help with lunch and after he washed up, set to chopping salad and buttering bread.

"This is gonna sound weird, but erm...your dog...she ain't partly deaf or anything is she?"

"No, why?"

"Its just, she comes when I whistle, but not when I call."

"Ohhh," you said, realisation hitting you like a wave. "Yeah, well, last night I might not have told you her proper name. I er...I wanted to make her seem a little more intimidating than she is. Just in case, you know. Hence Tank. Though she ruined that when she drooled all over your shoes." He gave a small chuckle, his eyes sparkling.

"So what is her name?"

"Cookie." At this, you heard the tell tale sound of Cookie's claws on the kitchen tiles. "Good girl," you threw over your shoulder at her.

"Well, that suits her a lot better'n Tank. She's so friendly."

"Only to the good ones. You should have seen her with the last man that came in here. She knew he was a wrong 'un. Took me a while to catch on, but I get there in the end." You turned your head to find him looking at you with sympathy and a touch of anger. "Like I said, I can take care of myself," you added and moved on with your day. In his first week staying with you he managed to do most of the little jobs that had been irritating, but not bad enough to address. The tap in the kitchen no longer dripped. All of the fencing was entirely without holes for the first time in forever. The roof of the chicken coop was renewed. You decided to celebrate by breaking out some beers in the evening and sat with him on your porch, watching the sky slowly turn from gold to apricot to scarlet. Once he had started to feel less awkward around you, you found him to be good company - intelligent and curious and with a good sense of humour and even your silences were now companionable, especially a few beers in.

"Need to plant some more things in the garden," he grunted, slurring a little. "Maybe some beets and some radishes?"

"That sounds good," you agreed, "but for tonight, just switch off a bit. Enjoy the beer and the view. You've more than earned it."

"Oh, I'm enjoyin' the view alright," he said. There was something low and sinful in his voice that made you turn your head to him in astonishment and definite interest, but as you did, his eyes grew wide and he started to splutter. "Oh God, I apologise. I haven't had a beer in months and I guess my tolerance ain't what it was. I...I didn't mean to offend. I didn't mean to say that."

"Didn't you?"

"No, I-I'm sorry." Putting your beer down, you came to stand in front of him, placing your hands on his knees and running them up his thighs.

"Are you sure you didn't mean it?" And suddenly the realisation of your own drunkenness came crashing around you. What were you thinking? You couldn't take advantage of him like this. He had nowhere else to go and he had said he wasn't interested. You straightened abruptly. "No, I'm sorry. This is wrong. I'm...I'm going to bed." And you did so, walking swiftly away before he could see the redness of your face.

The next morning, your coffee lay on the counter and you could see him outside the house pottering around. Berating yourself for an idiot for ruining the good feelings you had built up between you, you went about your own tasks in a crotchety mood. He didn't come in for lunch either, and you began to get a little worried about him. Deciding to tackle the problem head on, you brought him out a Tupperware with some food and some water. Eventually you found him in the barn, measuring some of the beams. He hadn't noticed you come in and you stood and openly stared for a moment at the sight of him with no shirt on under his overalls. It was pretty warm in here - you were starting to feel the effects yourself. His back was broad and muscular and his shoulder muscles rolled as you watched him reach up to measure something above him.

"Er...hi," you ventured, a little shyly. He whirled to face you, looking as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn't. "I'm sorry to bother you, I just thought you might want some lunch." You deposited it on the hay bale closest to you and carried on, keeping your voice light, "And to say that I'm sorry about yesterday. You said no and I shouldn't have pushed it. I don't want you thinking you have to do anything like that to stay here!"

"Thank you," he said softly as he made his way over to you. "But..I said no because we had both been drinkin' and because I didn't wanna take advantage of anythin' I wasn't bein' offered freely and honestly." His eyes raked over your face, black and piercing in the half light inside the barn. He was so close to you, you could smell the lemon scent of his soap and the musky smell of him underneath. There was a sheen of sweat across his chest and before you could stop yourself or think too deeply about what you were doing, your hands were upon him, feeling the taut, strong muscles of his pectorals. You bit your lip a little as you raised your eyes to his.

"You're not taking advantage," you whispered. "I want this." That was all the invitation he needed to crash his lips upon yours with a fervent desire. His big hands circled your waist and roved your back as his tongue begged entrance at your mouth. Your own hand moved down his overalls to where he was starting to bulge, massaging his length and making him moan into your mouth.

"Christ, I...I've not been with anyone for so long. That feels so good, don't stop." You heeded him, but also brought one of his hands from around your back to your breast where he began to knead it intensely and he groaned again, in between peppering your mouth and neck with kisses. "Fuck, you're so pretty. I thought so from th' first moment I saw you. I didn't know how to say..." For someone usually so reticent, he was on a roll now he had your tit in his hand and you were palming him through his overalls.

You snaked your hands up his body again and undid his overalls, letting them fall and pool around his feet where they landed. His body was gorgeous, broad and muscular with a little fuzz over his chest and running down his stomach. You ran your hands all over it, feeling the slickness of the sweat beading through his hair under your hands and feeling your own body begin to heat and respond in earnest, your clit throbbing a little between your legs. He kicked off his boots, and took off his socks and overalls in one swoop before taking you back in his arms and kissing you ardently again. His hand slid up your shirt and hiked it up, the sweat at your back making it stick to you a little. You broke the kiss to hurl it from your head and away, closely followed by your bra.

"Oh fuck baby, your tits are so beautiful. Lemmie taste you." He got on his knees in front of you and did just that, taking your nipple in his mouth and sucking on it harshly whilst rubbing your other nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Exhaling a moan of pleasure, you tangled your fingers into his dark waves and pulled him even closer, feeling his smile against your chest as his free hand undid the buttons on your jeans. You could feel the wetness in your underwear now, the telltale stripe of moisture under your cunt as he coaxed that sweet feeling all through your veins with his tongue and fingers on your nipple.

"I want you to fuck me," you gasped. "Need you to fuck me hard."

"Oh don't you worry, baby, I'm gonna take good care of you," he murmured against your skin as he pulled the material down your legs. "Fuck, you're so wet already. I can see it on your panties. I wanna taste you there too. Can I?" His big dark eyes looked up at you with pleading and what you would have called innocence had he not already been flicking his tongue back over your nipple, making you squirm and huff with the pleasurable tickle of it. In reply you pulled the rest of your clothes away from you, but before he could reach his prize you took his jaw in your hand and brought his head up to look at you. He was instantly attentive and alert, looking slightly worried, as If you might have changed your mind in the few seconds it had taken for you to remove your clothes.

"You can taste me, if I can taste you afterwards," you offered.

"Hell yeah you can," he muttered appreciatively as he got to his feet and lifted you on to a haybale. The straw poked you roughly and mercilessly, but you forgot about that when he leaned over you and kissed you deeply again. "Gonna make you feel real good, honey," he promised again before kissing a path downward. He hooked your legs over his biceps and ran his forearms up to your breasts, teasing your nipples again before diving right in to lick warm, wide stripes from your cunt to your clit. It had been so long since anyone had been intimate with you, your head felt dizzy and overwhelmed, but he took it to another level with the enthusiasm he brought to the task. He lapped at you and what you were leaking as if he were a man starved, pushing his face into you, so you could feel his patchy stubble rub against your inner thighs, and sucking gently on your clit. It took an embarrassingly short time before your breaths came stunted and your voice rose in a wail of pleasure as he drove you to your peak, the red hot lava of it flowing from your core throughout your body. He ripped a second from you when he pushed two thick fingers inside and curled them wonderfully to strike against that part inside you that you yourself could never reach. His eyes glittered with lust as you came down from your high and you swore you could come again just from the look he was giving you from between your legs. He kissed your inner thighs and wiped his mouth as he came in for another kiss, your taste all over his tongue and lips.

"Your turn." you announced breathlessly, as you got down from the bale on shaky legs. Not breaking eye contact, you knelt in front of him, the straw on the floor not much of a cushion for your knees. He moaned loudly as you raked your nails down his side, catching them on the waistband of his underwear and pulling them down, allowing his cock to spring free and bob up toward his stomach. You had felt that he was well endowed, but seeing him was something else entirely and you couldn't help the hum of appreciation that escaped you before you leaned forward kissed the reddened tip, his precum brushing over your lips. You looked up at him as you licked it off and could see his breaths coming heavy and wild, his shoulders and chest heaving in anticipation. His hands came around to tangle in your hair as you licked a swirl over his tip before taking it in your mouth and sucking gently whilst moving down his shaft.

"Fuck, baby. You're so good. C-can I move?" You brought your hands around to the firmness of his ass and moved him forward a little to give him permission and saw his head roll back in pleasure. He seemed to not want to hurt you and fucked your mouth much more gently than you thought he would. Your head bobbed further and further down his shaft until he was striking the back of it, making you gag a little. Raising yourself back off, you pumped him with your hand while swirling your tongue over his tender head. When you brought your other hand to cradle his balls he trembled a little under your touch. "Honey, I do not want you to stop, but if you don't I won't be able to fuck you before I come." You removed your mouth from him slowly, hollowing your cheeks and sucking hard as you progressed.

He helped you to your feet and reached down to stroke your clit again while he kissed your lips, the taste of you both mingling in your mouths. Turning your back to him you bent over the hay bale, presenting yourself to him and you heard a guttural sound of arousal behind you before the head of his cock was notching at your entrance and pushing in all at once, stretching you and making you whimper as he bent over your back and kissed your shoulder. "Are you ok, baby?" he muttered. "Does this feel good?"

"Yes," you whispered. "Now fuck me hard."

He bit down a little on the meat of your shoulder and whispered a low "Yes, Ma'am," before standing fully and beginning to piston his hips into you with forceful, firm strokes, his cock pushing further within you each time. It was overwhelming and even more so when he pushed down on your back further so that he was fucking down into you and sliding over your spot with each thrust. The change in pitch of your gasping moans and the wetness that you could suddenly feel around the tops of your thighs encouraged him to fuck you even harder, his cock swelling as he got close to his release and filling you up beautifully. "Like that, honey? Right there?" he grunted as you started to feel yourself lose control around him.

"Yes, there, please, don't stop, please," you begged. He captured your arms and pulled you further back toward him, and suddenly he was striking something white hot and golden inside and you were gone, your cunt pulsating around him and flooding him with you. Your head was so dizzied that you only noticed he had pulled you flush against his sweat-sticky chest when his arms were around you, grasping greedily at your breasts and the hot breath of his rich, deep voice was beside your ear.

"Where-"

"inside." He drove into you half a dozen more times before he cried your name aloud and you felt him pulsate strongly within you, jettisoning his spend into you with groans muffled against your shoulder. As he withdrew, he held you up gently before turning you and lying you on the bale he had just taken you over, coming to lie down beside you with his big eyes searching your face and his big calloused hands stroking the soft skin of your belly. The sweet summer sun was slanting over his face, turning his black eyes amber in its glow and you felt a welcome twinge in your heart as you took his face in your hand and kissed him.

[creativeskullcreations]

Here’s a one shot that’s crossing over @floofy-grumpuses human OC Nikki, with my own OC Kim from my not-yet-written fic Secret of the Snax.

INFO ABOUT KIM:

Spent the last two years in a hospital after a very traumatic incident.

Was found by the side of the road by Floofty.

Does not have amnesia like Nikki.

Is ten years old.

Is an orphan(parents died in previously mentioned incident).

In the original concept Kim couldn’t understand the Grumpus language, but that’s been changed here for obvious reasons.

Any other info is technically spoilers, but I am willing to share if asked. I also have a few other one-shots/scene snippets/concepts I can post if there’s any interest.

Kim was excited, as Floofty never really took her anywhere. She loved the little lab area in Floofty's basement, but it was hard when you weren't allowed out of the house very often. Luckily, she was used to being confined, and it made going out that much more exciting.

"Where are we going? Are we gonna go see Snorpy and Chandlo? Chandlo said he'd show me how to make a basket from anywhere on the court next time I was over there!" She rambled, bouncing in her seat as Floofty got into the driver's side of their little car. They checked that she had actually buckled up before starting the car.

"Not this time, no. Instead we're going to visit a friend of mine, Professor Triffany Lottablog, and her husband. They adopted a child a while ago, and I feel like you two would be... companions."

"Oh. Like friends?" The ten year old asked excitedly, and Floofty cleared their throat.

"It's a possibility." In truth, Floofty just wanted to know how the two aliens would react to each other. They seemed close in age, at least, and that usually meant a good chance at children becoming friends, at least for Grumpuses. Neither they nor Triffany knew enough about humans to know if it would work the same for them, however. There was always the possibility there would be an immediate fight.

But, the scientist felt guilty that they couldn't let Kim roam like she obviously wanted to. Their home was just too close to civilization for that. But the Troubleham farm was far outside of town, yet closer than their brother's home. It was the perfect place for Kim to run around at.

Luckily, the drive didn't take too long, and they soon spotted the fields Wambus had been planting his pilfered sauce in. Another couple of minutes of driving and the small little farmhouse came into view, with it's faded green paint and flowers under the windows. It was quaint, and Floofty hated the sight of it.

Floofty parked next to Wambus' truck, and the two got out as Triffany came out to greet them. To Floofty's relief, Kim seemed to be in a more outgoing mood today and didn't hide behind them at the approaching Grumpus.

"Well hey there you two. I was wondering when ya would show up." The green Grumpus, Triffany Kim deduced, greeted them.

"We are exactly when I told you we'd be here, Professor Lottablog." Floofty coolly informed her, but was waved off as she turned to lead them to the house.

"So ya are." Was all she said as they walked up the gravel path. Kim followed close, but kept her eyes on the ground in case she spotted a cool rock. She had grabbed a fanny pack before they'd left the house, and needed stuff to put in it, like rocks. Floofty didn't have a lot of pretty things in their house, and Kim intended to fix that.

"Oh, Nikki's been so excited for this visit since we told her." Triffany was telling them. "It even got her to clean her room."

"Fascinating." Floofty sounded anything but fascinated. "Where is she, by the way? I expected her to be here greet us as well."

"Oh well, she may have gotten a little too excited, ya know? So Wambus took her out back to help in the garden and work some energy off."

"Ah. Understandable. Though Kim doesn't have that problem." Floofty told her, a smug tinge to their voice. Triffany frowned, but didn't answer.

'Ya just keep on believing that, Dr. Fizzlebean.' She kept her opinions to herself though as she took them around the house, however. Floofty would find out soon enough that every child had that problem.

They got to the back of the house, where they spotted the large, blue Grumpus leaning against the fence, looking up into a tree. The sight of Wambus turning to greet them cause did Kim to duck behind Floofty, peering out around them suspiciously.

Wambus fixed Floofty with an equally suspicious glare, barely giving the human girl a glance. "You'd better not be plannin' somethin'." He growled out.

"Oh please, I wouldn't do anything I thought would endanger them." Floofty replied, voice carefully even. "But if you're that against this, I can take Kim, and we can leave right now."

A brief staring match ensued before Wambus turned back to the tree. "Nikki! Come on down here!" He called loudly, startling Kim back behind Floofty. The scientist reached back and gave her head a quick pat as Nikki dropped out of the tree.

"You let her climb that?!" Triffany exclaimed quietly as the girl made her way over.

"What? She likes climbing." Wambus whispered back. "She didn't want to do anything else."

The human ran over, slowing when she spotted Floofty, and stopping so she was slightly behind Wambus and Triffany. Kim peeked out just enough that Nikki caught sight of her. But, it wasn't enough for Floofty, who picked the girl up by the back of her oversized shirt and dropped her down in full view of everyone. When Kim made to try and hide again, they put their paws on her shoulders, keeping her in place.

"Nikki," They started. "this is Kim. My... ward." There, that was a safe enough word for it. "We believe that she is the same species you are."

"Hmmm." Nikki walked closer, now assured that Floofty wasn't here for her. "She does look like it, I guess."

"Excellent." Floofty shoved Kim at Nikki. "Go have fun. I have to talk with your parents."

"Uh, okay then." Nikki grabbed the smaller girl's hand and tugged her towards the house. "Come on, I'll show you my room."

Kim followed, but not without several glances back at the Grumpuses, who were slowly making their way after the children as they talked. She lost sight of them when they entered the house

Nikki led her through the house and to a bedroom. It was definitely smaller than Kim's old room in Floofty's lab, but a fairly good sized one besides that. It had a very comfortable looking bed, and several bookshelves, along with a chest. A few toys, and books were scattered around the floor, like Nikki had been called away from playing.

While Nikki gathered a few  of the toys up, Kim stood by the door and looked around the room. "So," she started, quietly, "what do you usually do around here?"

"Oh, just... stuff. I like to help Dad out in the garden, and climb trees, and Dad promised he'd show me how the tractor works when I'm old enough." She explained, using some of the books to set up a house-like shape.

"Dad...?" The big blue one, maybe? Kim couldn't imagine him being anything but scary. "That's... neat."

"What do you do? You came here with Floofty, right? I bet they do all sorts of weird things."

"I mean... Not really? They gave me food, and a place to sleep. Sometimes I take notes for them, but mostly they give me puzzles and books to read."

Nikki stared at her. "That's weird." She said bluntly. "Dad never makes me do puzzles, but Mom is making me go through school, but it's home-school and I get to go outside when all my work's done, so that's okay." She made another "building" out of some nearby blocks

"Oh..." Kim kneeled next to the older girl as she laid out a scene with the dolls. Most of them were Grumpus shaped, but one was a fairly accurate replica of what Nikki looked like. She chose a deep purple Grumpus doll, while Nikki grabbed one of the blue ones, in order to start the story.

The played that scene for long enough that it turned from a simple trip to the mall, to an epic fight with a dragon(represented by a model Nikki cobbled together from a book and tinfoil). They played together until Triffany came to get them for dinner. The girls followed her to the dining room, where Wambus and Floofty were already seated. Kim climbed into the chair next to Floofty, staring suspiciously at the dishes already full of food.

"Is that cooked all the way?" She asked as Floofty served her some of the casserole. She hadn't seen it get made, which meant anything could be in there. She did not trust that casserole.

"Oh of course! Wouldn't be a casserole without spending a long time in the oven." Triffany told her, but Kim kept her suspicious glower. Wambus meanwhile looked almost pained at his wife's words, and was quick to correct her on casserole making.

While the others got caught up in conversation about cooking, they missed Kim standing in her chair and lifting her fork over her head. Without a sound, she stabbed the casserole, hard enough that it splattered against the table cloth. Nikki watched, shocked, as she did it a second and a third time, but the adults were all unsurprised.

Floofty just sighed and finally took the fork away, leaving Kim to eat the now mutilated casserole with a spoon. When she tried to stab it again anyways, the scientist caught her wrist and forced her to sit down. "Stop trying to murder your meal. Just eat it, it's fine." And Kim finally settled down, digging into the "casserole" with her spoon.

Not that she ate a lot, however. Everyone else finished their food, but she left a lot on her plate. Nikki felt jealous, as her parents always made her to clear her plate before dessert, but Floofty just asked if they could borrow a Tupperware to take it home with them. Clearly, they were used to this sort of thing, and so was Kim as she didn't seem upset at not having dessert. She seemed completely uninterested in it, in fact, which Nikki found really weird.

She didn't say anything about it, though, and dinner finished without anymore incidents. While Nikki got up to help her mom gather up the dishes, Kim stayed seated beside Floofty, writing something down on a notepad the scientist had produced.

"Mom, can we go play outside?" Nikki asked when all the plates had been deposited in the sink. Triffany didn't even hesitate before patting the girl on the head with a smile.

"Oh, of course, dear. Just don't leave the yard, okay?" She instructed. "And come right back inside when it starts gettin' dark."

"Okay Mom. Kim, come on! We're gonna go play outside!" She led Kim out the backdoor to the yard where they were before. The sun was getting low, but it wasn't quite sunset yet, giving them plenty of time to play.

Nikki took her to where there was a ball and makeshift basket to throw it in, and they took turns throwing it in. This was followed by seeing how high each of them could throw the ball, and then how far from the basket they could still get it in.

The adults watched them through the window as they cleaned the dishes, Floofty packing Kim's food into a container for later. She may be good at faking it, but Floofty could tell she was hungry. She just... didn't like eating unless she'd heated the food up herself, first.

Or watched it be made from start to finish. Every meal Floofty made for them involved trying to work around the tiny human. Even when it was just a microwave meal or leftovers, Kim could be found with her face almost pressed against tiny window, watching the food cook poorly.

"Oh, well, the girls seem to be getting along real nice." Triffany observed. "I knew this would be a good idea, ey Wamby?" She elbowed her husband, who just gave a grunt in response.

"Indeed, this outing proved fruitful." Floofty agreed. "Perhaps we should schedule another such day, so they can play together again."

"Well, I don't see why not." Triffany shot her friend a smile. "Maybe some time next week?"

"Perhaps. I shouldn't have any particularly time sensitive experiments going then." They paused to think, running through a mental list to make sure. "I'll probably be leaving her with you a lot more often, either way. Summer break is almost over, and I'll be starting my new position at the local school."

"Oh, Floofty, congratulations. Isn't that nice, Wamby?" Another uninterested grunt, but mostly cause he was watching the girls rather than paying attention to the conversation. Triffany just sighed. "Don't mind him. He's been worried about Nikki since she started climbing the trees again. Not like we can stop her once she gets up far enough, of course."

"Indeed." Floofty watched out the window for a moment, as the girls took turns throwing the ball upwards. "Hopefully Kim won't learn such things from your daughter."

"Oh honey, don't count on it." Triffany warned them half with sympathy. Such dangerous acts spread like a disease through children, and she had no doubt that Floofty would be finding Kim climbing things soon enough.

The conversation turned to more adult topics as they finished cleaning up and the sun set outside. Wambus turned on the porch light as the shadows started to grow, so Nikki would know it was almost time to come inside.

They did after a few minutes, Nikki chattering excitedly while Kim went over to Floofty, dragging their old fanny pack behind her. When the scientist lifted it, they found it surprisingly heavy.

"What did you put in here?" They asked bluntly, though honestly curious. Perhaps it was a dead animal the girls had found? They did need a few more subjects for their experiments...

"Rocks." Kim answered just as bluntly. Triffany hid an amused snort as Floofty unzipped the bag and, yep, rocks. Gravel from the driveway, to be precise. Nikki popped over and dumped a few more in to Floofty's shock.

"I see." Was their only answer. Kim just took the bag back and slung it over a shoulder, then climbed up on the couch and leaned tiredly against the purple Grumpus. Triffany saw them pat her head, smoothing out the short, dark hair. They noticed her watching and snatched their paw back like they'd been burned.

She thought about saying something, but instead politely ignored the action. She turned back to Nikki, who was telling them about the rock castle they'd built in the driveway.

"We'll have to get a picture in the morning." Wambus told her, ruffling her hair.

"More than one! Kim wants a picture of it too." She told him seriously, and he glanced at Floofty, who stared back stoically.

"Eh, sure. We can do that." He ignored the scientist's eyes boring into him and turned to his wife. "Any idea where the camera is?"

"I'll dig it out tomorrow." Triffany told him. Nikki bounced in place excitedly.

"I can help with that!" She said, and Wambus chuckled at her enthusiasm.

Floofty cleared their throat suddenly, standing up from their spot on the couch. "It is high time that Kim and I left for home." They announced, picking up the smaller girl. She jolted sleepily, briefly waking from where she'd been dozing, but otherwise didn't protest the sudden movement.

"Bye Kim!" Nikki waved from where she stood next to Wambus. Kim had, sadly, already dozed back off by then but Nikki didn't really mind. She turned to her Dad. "She's gonna come back, right?"

"Of course we'll return." Floofty almost scoffed at the childish question. "It won't be tomorrow, but you will eventually see Kim again."

"Okay." Nikki waved again, and Floofty sighed, but didn't wave back. Instead they followed Triffany as she walked them to the door, chatting as the two of them tried to figure out another play-date.

Nikki turned to her Dad. "Why didn't Kim eat? She just told me that she "couldn't trust the food"."

Wambus hesitated. They all knew why Kim had... issues with food, but it didn't feel like his place to explain why. Especially with Floofty's growing theories on just where, or maybe when, Kim and Nikki had come from. So he just ruffled the girl's hair. "She'll explain it when she's ready to. Now, it's almost time for bed, so why don't you go get ready?"

"Aaaww, can't I stay up tonight? I feel too excited to sleep!" She was bouncing in place, and though she looked wide awake he could tell she was holding back a yawn.

"Yeah. I wasn't born yesterday kid. Go brush yer teeth." With a heavy sigh the human bounced off towards the bathroom, and Wambus stood as Triffany came back in.

"Well, I think that went well. Don't you?" She asked, hands on her hips. She looked rather pleased at how things turned out, though Wambus didn't share the sentiment.

"I still don't trust them." He admitted, watching out the window as the small car made it's way down the drive. "It feels like they're planning something."

Triffany sighed. "Just give them a chance, Wamby. Kim's a sweet kid, and Floofty's really tryin'. Besides, Nikki seemed to like her."

Wambus didn't answer, just stoically stared out the window. Just because Nikki liked someone, didn't mean he had to trust them. She liked Gramble, after all, though he ended up not being so bad. Triffany just sighed after a minute of this.

"Well, either way, she's coming back next week. So I suggest gettin' used to it." He grunted, and she just patted his arm sympathetically. "Now, let's go make sure Nikki actually brushed her teeth just time."

[mst3kproject]

602: Invasion USA

 This is not the 1985 movie with Chuck Norris.  I suppose I should watch that one someday as an Episode that Never Was, but for now we have this.  Its basic purpose is the same as that of Rocket Attack USA, to scare the audience into patriotic loyalty, and it shockingly manages to be even worse at it.

A bunch of people are sitting around in a bar talking about the universal draft when an unnamed country suddenly declares war on the United States, and… well, that’s it, really.  Stock footage of anti-aircraft guns fires on stock footage of planes. Stock footage of atom bombs is dropped on stock footage of cities.  Stock footage of warships crosses stock footage of oceans.  All while the so-called characters watch it happening on television and remark on how they can’t believe this is real… no wonder, since none of it is happening in the same dimension they’re in.

I refuse to call Invasion USA a movie.  It doesn’t qualify.  It’s more like four newsreels in a trench coat and a fake beard, trying to pretend they’re a narrative.  Take, for example, the part where Boulder Dam is destroyed.  We see stock footage of the planes.  We see stock footage of the dam.  We see stock footage of a mushroom cloud.  And then stock footage of a flood.  The closest this comes to interacting with the characters fleeing from it is that we see the flood footage back-projected behind their car, and then the camera rolls over and we cut to some of their possessions which have been tossed into a river.  It’s all so obviously a juxtaposition rather than a series of events.  You can’t help but roll your eyes.

The nearest this comes to being interesting or exciting is some of the stuff we see in the military stock footage.  The audience doesn’t exactly feel involved in this – it’s just film of random Things Happening so it doesn’t tell a story, except in retrospect when the TV news anchor tells us what’s supposed to be going on, but there are some spectacular plane crashes and so forth.  Of course, then you remember that none of this is special effects.  You’re watching real human beings die gruesome deaths.  That sucks the fun out of it pretty fast.

It’s not until the last twelve minutes that we get anything that might be called a special effect.  The bad guys nuke New York, and while what we see looks nothing like the aftermath of an atomic bombing, there is an actual miniature building that falls apart, dumping Styrofoam boulders on our heroes.  This is followed by a mediocre matte paining, but one that still does the job its meant to do.  It’s actually kind of a shock, since up until now the war has seemed to go on all around this room but never to enter it.

That’s one halfway-effective moment out of an entire seventy-three minutes of film, however, and the rest is all garbage. Not only is there the endless stock footage, there’s also the bad guys.  They’re never identified as Soviets, though they speak with Russian accents, because the film-makers didn’t want Invasion USA to be a self-fulfilling prophecy (thus making them more sensible than the people who made The Interview).  Much is made of the fact that they’re wearing American uniforms, but the one time they try to make a plot point out of it, a guard sees through the ruse immediately. The real reason is once again to avoid mentioning a country, and so they can use the stock footage of American soldiers to represent both sides.

The baddies espouse ideals of equality, freedom, and peace, but the only ones we actually meet are a couple of bullying, alcoholic rapists. This serves its purpose but the writers apparently see no contradiction between portraying ‘bad’ characters as drunks and having the ‘good’ characters sitting around drinking for half the run time.  I guess whether alcohol is good or bad depends on how nicely you’re dressed and what shape of glass you’re drinking it from. Not to mention that the psychic who can be seen as a bully and a rapist based on what he does to the other characters’ minds, but I’ll get back to that.

How long the whole war takes to happen I have no idea.  A few days must have passed, since a guy drives from San Francisco to somewhere in Arizona, and somebody makes a reference to ‘months’, but the way we keep cutting back to the same people in the same bar gives the impression that the invasion of America happens in about twenty minutes.  Maybe this is intentional, since the story, of course, ends with the revelation that it was alllll a dreeeeeeam.  Or maybe everybody was just too incompetent to show us time passing.

The ending attempts to work on multiple levels and is shit on all of them.  First, there’s the ending to the narrative we’ve been watching.  This isn’t really a story, since there’s no plot as such, merely things happening that the characters cannot possibly do anything about. They’re powerless in the face of these overwhelming events, and once the factory owner is shot after refusing to build tanks for the invaders, it doesn’t take the audience long to realize that this fate will be pretty universal.  Sure enough! The rancher is drowned when the flood from the broken dam sweeps him away, along with his wife and kids to make it extra-tragic.  The politician is killed in the attack on Washington.  The reporter is shot for picking a fight with a bad guy, and his girlfriend leaps out the window to her death.

Then of course they wake up back in the bar, and learn that it was all a dream, or rather a vision, instilled in their minds by a psychic who hypnotized them with swirling whiskey!  I’m inclined to be slightly more forgiving of this than I normally would be, since it was sort of set up and at this point there’s really nowhere else to go.  It’s still an obnoxious way to end a story and there’s a reason your high school English teacher told you not to do it.  Some dialogue establishes they all had the same vision, and then the psychic informs them that this is what the future will be if they don’t take steps to avoid it.

Uh, excuse me, what?  Nothing we’ve just seen suggests that any of these five people were in a particular position to save the world.  They can do small things – the woman goes to get a job at the blood bank, the factory owner decides to make tank parts instead of tractors, and so on (are tractors not important?  Call me a commie but I’d rather my tax money be spent on feeding people than on blowing them up).  But none of this will prevent the invasion we saw and could only make the slightest of differences in its outcome.  Are the five of them somehow crucial in a way the narrative didn’t bother to make clear?

Of course, that’s not actually the point here.  The real moral of the story is that we all need to do what we can to grease the wheels of the war machine, or we’re gonna end up calling each other Comrade.  So… what was the psychic’s goal, here?  Did he just decide to scare the pants off these people because he was annoyed by their opinions about the draft?  Or is he going from bar to bar, instilling this vision of the future in every person he meets one at a time?  And of course we have only his word for it that it is the future. The bartender does call him a con man, and for all we know he made the whole thing up.

What about the woman and the reporter, who saw themselves falling in love and then being tragically separated?  They didn’t consent to that.  The illusion of the relationship, with all its emotional, psychological, and sexual consequences, was forced upon them by an outside influence.  They decide to use this second chance to pursue it in a situation where it might not end in tragedy, but who’s to say it’ll work without that background?  They would have every right to object to this violation of their minds… as would the others, who saw their families die and their homes destroyed.

The final shot gives us a quote from George Washington: to prepare for war is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace.  I don’t know if Washington ever said that but if he did he stole it.  Si vis pacem, para bellum is a Latin adage, first attested in Vegetius, although versions also appear in Plato and Sima Qian.  It’s as old as humanity, and attributing it to Washington is just one more attempt to tug on the patriotic heartstrings.  Of course, if you consider the Romans, the Athenians, and the ancient Chinese… yep, this is something said by empire builders.

You know what movies like this have taught me?  That propaganda film-making is really hard.  If you want to deliver a message without annoying the audience then it has to emerge naturally from the story being told, rather than being imposed upon it like, say, the save-the-oceans message in Gamera vs Zigra. Then the story also has to make sense outside of that message, it has to feel like it would be worth telling even if the moral weren’t attached – Pacific Rim has a moral about working together, but it’s also just enjoyable to watch.  Invasion USA is not like that.  It exists only to shove its message down our throats and it isn’t even any good at it.  Fuck this stock footage montage pretending to be a movie.

[tisfan]

Moving Violations

Square: G5 - Carjacking Title: Moving Violations Warning: None Rating: Teen Characters: Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes Tags: kidnapping, carjacking, car chases, car crash Summary: This evening was not going according to plan. Now he was going to have to call the god damned police and file a fucking report and then call his insurance and file another report, and then he was going to have to call Pepper and-- Link: A03 Word Count:  2,545 Posted for @winterironbingo *also include relationship if not just winteriron

The conference was over, finally. Tony dragged his suitcase out to the car garage. He would have had the concierge do it, but it was late, the bellhops were all busy, and Tony didn’t want to wait. He wanted to get in his car, stop somewhere for an extra triple large coffee, a donut the size of his head, and get the hell out of Dodge. Or New Jersey, honestly, which was worse, and there he was anyway.

He popped the trunk, pushed his suitcase into the back, and was just straightening up when someone pushed a hard, metal thing against his back. “Gimme the keys, motherfucker, and don’t try anything funny.”

God damn it. This was not what he’d had in mind, checking out of the hotel immediately after the conference instead of waiting until morning, like everyone else. Suppressing a sigh, Tony slowly lifted his hands, letting the keys dangle.

Now he was going to have to call the god damned police and file a fucking report and then call his insurance and file another report, and then he was going to have to call Pepper and--

The car thief snagged the key fob, then shoved, pushing Tony forward into the trunk. The locking mechanism scraped against his midsection, tearing his shirt and bruising his skin. “Get it--”

There was a second man, a black ski mask pulled down to hide his face. He reached into the trunk and cut the safety cable that unlocked the trunk from the inside.

“Get in,” the first guy said, prodding Tony with the -- gun, probably -- metal thing in his back, giving him a matched bruise.

There was not a lot of room in the trunk, with the spare tire, his suitcase, and it being a sports model and not some soccer mom’s SUV.

This... was even worse. And just when Tony thought it couldn’t get any worse, Ski Mask reached in and groped at Tony’s clothes, what the fuck. “Hey, fuck you, what the--” Ski Mask shoved at Tony’s face, making him crack his head on the back of the tiny space, and came up with Tony’s phone. “Damn it, give me that!” The guy tossed it onto the floor of the parking garage with a snort, and then slammed the trunk shut, narrowly missing another crack on Tony’s head.

“Come on,” the first guy said, rushing around to the driver’s side. “Three more minutes until the window closes.”

“Not getting paid enough for this job,” Ski Mask said, but he was also getting in the car. The doors slammed, the car jerked into reverse and skidded out of the parking lot. Whoever was driving was good, Tony noted, shifting gears precisely, and handling the car well. At least, he wasn’t getting slammed around inside the tiny space.

(more under the cut)

Just to make sure, he tried pulling on the release lever, but it did nothing. Tony felt around, trying to get an idea for what was available. He found a screwdriver in his jacket pocket, and a pair of wire cutters. He couldn’t reach his pants pocket, cramped as it was, but since they’d tossed his phone, he didn’t think there was anything useful in there, anyway. A bunch of business cards, some conference swag -- pens, fidget toys, a couple of novelty condoms.

He felt around in front of him. Trunk, liner carpet-- oh! The tail light. He could... he could work with that, probably. He felt around for the screws holding it in place.

It was all kinds of awkward, trying to maneuver his arm into position to work the screwdriver, but he managed to get the cover off. He felt for the wires. There should be... yes, there. They were mounted into place, but a couple of snips with the cutters took care of that.

Now, he could make the tail light do what he wanted. He listened for a moment -- wherever they were taking him, it was on some kind of highway. Good. He tapped the wires together, carefully, making the light blink. Short-short-short-long-long-long-short-short-short. Pause. Short-short-short-long-long-long-short-short-short. Not many people knew Morse code anymore, but SOS was still pretty universal. Hopefully someone would notice and call them in.

Night driving wasn’t one of Bucky’s favorite things. Drivers tended to ignore motorcyclists with almost aggressive tenacity even during the day, and night was worse. He’d just missed being hit with a car that had rolled up behind him, swerved around, and then pulled back in the lane without adequate clearance.

Crazy, early drunk, Bucky decided. He dropped his speed again, letting some room get between him and the car.

Idiot left his blinker on, too, continually flashing.

Bucky rolled his eyes, and--

Wait, what? The tail light was blinking, rhythmically, and not in the simple click-click that most turn signals did. Bucky’d seen a few kits in his day, that made the tail-lights do an almost marquee scroll, which was really distracting late at night, but this wasn’t doing that, either.

Might be a short; it wasn’t any of Bucky’s business anyway. If the guy got pulled over for a burned out taillight, so much the better.

The light went dead for a moment, then started up again. The other rear light stayed steady, the whole time.

Flick, flick, flick. Flash, flash, flash.

What? Something nagged at him for a moment, and he lost the car as it wove around a tractor trailer. Bucky opened the throttle, speeding up.

SOS? Couldn’t possibly be. He only knew Morse Code because he watched entirely too many old war movies with his buddy Steve.

He pulled in behind the car again, watching, counting.

Yeah, that was… that had to be deliberate.

Bucky considered pulling over and calling 9-11 on his phone, when the car changed lanes twice. Bucky had to speed up to keep it in sight, and then it was headed off one of the exits, one of the complicated things that had two side paths, plus a jughandle. If he didn’t keep his eye on the car, he wouldn’t know where it went. Who even knew if the cops would take the story seriously?

Bucky followed them off the interstate.

“If this is someone’s idea of a prank,” Bucky muttered, “I am never gonna try bein’ a good samaritan again.”

Not that he had a plan. He was on a motorcycle, for fuck’s sake. It’s not like he could clip them and make them stop without practically killing himself in the process.

The tail lights flickered a few more times, then stopped, as if the person -- if it was a person -- was getting tired.  

At least there were traffic lights now. The car would have to slow down. Bucky grumbled, then decided to risk it. He took the next right hand turn, then an immediate left, slipping around traffic, taking advantage of his smaller vehicle and probably making all sorts of moving violations, but he managed to get ahead of them.

“Oh, this is so stupid,” he told himself, but as he came up on the car from the side, he slowed down, aimed the bike, and jumped off, letting the motorcycle smash into the passenger side door.

Inside the car, the passenger-side airbag exploded. The car swerved sharply and went into a spin, smashing into the guardrail. When it finally came to a stop, one tire was flat, and the bumper and whole side of the car had been liberally crumpled.

The driver’s side door opened, and a man floundered out of the car. “What the fuck!” he demanded. “What the--” He spotted Bucky, and his lip curled into a snarl. “What the absolute fuck, you asshole!”

Bucky’s sharp gaze raked the man, taking in dark clothes, aggression, and-- a gun holstered under one arm. Fuck, this was such a bad idea.

He staggered, letting his body pull him at a rolling gate. Playing drunk. “Dude, where’d you--” he acted like he couldn’t find his helmet’s strap, struggling with it. “Saw th’ car in front of you, and the car behind you, but not you…” He got the helmet off, still closing the distance. “What the hell’d you do to my bike?”

Two more steps, and Bucky threw the helmet at the guy, smashing him in the face with the fiberglass, hand automatically reaching, and-- grabbed the gun. “Don’t fucking move, asshole,” he yelled, putting the barrel right over the guy’s bloody nose.

The guy’s eyes went big and round in shock. “What-- Okay, man, okay, Jesus fuck, what the fuck am I going to do now?”

“Dude, tell your friend that he cannot possibly shoot me before I shoot you,” Bucky advised, stepping to one side and keeping the first guy between himself and the passenger. “He looks a little banged up to me, he’s likely to shoot you in the back before he gets one off on me.”

“What are you, some kind of cop?” the guy demanded, but he waved at his buddy, who was still trying to get untangled from the airbag enough to turn around and draw a bead on Bucky.

“Cops wish they were as cool as I am,” Bucky said. “Have him pop the trunk.” He hoped it wasn’t too damaged to work, and that whoever was inside it was okay. He really had not thought this through at all. Provided he lived through it, though, it was going to make a great story to tell Steve and Sam.

Slowly, with much cursing and complaining, the other guy managed to find the lever to pop the trunk.

“Hey pal, you okay in there?” Bucky tried to look over the driver’s shoulder to see what was actually in the damn trunk.

“I’ve been better,” said a voice. There was some more cursing and several pained grunts, and then a man unfolded from behind the driver, climbing laboriously out of the car’s trunk.

“If you can walk, there’s a whole ton of zip ties in my cycle’s saddlebag. And then I’ll call the cops?” He shifted the gun again, aiming at the guy’s knee. “Don’t even think about it. I don’t want to kill you, but my moral code’s a little wobbly on the subject of kneecaps.”

The victim looked around and then stumbled his way over to Bucky’s bike, rummaging in the bags and then coming back with the zipties. “Should I even ask why you have-- oh shit, you’re hot.” He froze, staring at Bucky.

Bucky spluttered. That was not at all what he’d expected. “I’m an electrician,” Bucky explained. “And I had a bunch of cable-wraps to do today. Come on, Dude in Distress, let’s zip these fuckers up before someone decides to try me. This is my favorite jacket, I do not want blood on it.”

The guy shook himself back into motion. “Right, right. Sorry.” He walked around behind the driver and started zip-tying the guys’ wrists. “It’s been a long week, and I’m dealing with an adrenaline dump; my filters are pretty much gone.”

Bucky stepped away, once they were both ziptied and on the ground, swearing and cursing, but probably not going anywhere. “Jesus,” he said, then lowered the gun and flicked the safety on. “Not how I intended to spend Friday night-- oh, crap, look at my bike!” Bucky’s voice spiraled up, the victim wasn’t the only guy who was dealing with a sudden flush of hormones. He wobbled back another few steps, shaking from head to toe.

“Whoa, hey, relax, it’s going to be okay,” the victim said. He reached out a tentative hand and gingerly patted Bucky’s shoulder, then again with more confidence when Bucky didn’t immediately throw him off. “I will absolutely make sure it gets fixed. Or replaced. Whatever’s easiest.” He looked around. “What did you do, drive right into the side of the car?”

“Basically, yeah,” Bucky said. He reached for his phone, tapping the Emergency Call button. “You need an ambulance-- what’s your name? I’m Bucky.”

“Tony,” the guy said. He prodded carefully at his face and arm and one leg. “I think it’s all superficial,” he said. “Just... cops.”

“Right, okay,” Bucky said, and when the phone chirped, with the “911, what is the nature of your emergency,” Bucky gave almost no details. “There’s been a… attempted kidnapping and car accident--” he peered at the street signs and gave an address.

“Sir, can you stay on the--” Bucky hung up. They’d both get grilled at the station, or the hospital, if medics decided they needed treatment anyway.

“Tell me you’re not some sort of swag drug dealer or something in a meet up gone bad,” Bucky said. “I’d really like to be the good guy, here.”

“Uh, yeah, I think we can safely say you’re the good guy,” Tony agreed. “I haven’t done drugs since college and I’ve never dealt. I don’t know what these two were after, but it wasn’t, you know, revenge for my nefarious and criminal ways. Hey, can I borrow your phone for a sec?”

Bucky handed it over, looking at the guy. He was dressed in a suit that had probably been nice before he’d been shoved in the trunk of a car, with tousled brown hair and a perfectly shaped beard. If Bucky had to say he had a type, Tony would have checked off a lot of boxes.

Tony dialed the phone. “Pep? What, no, I’m not-- It was fine, but I-- Pep! Code ninety-nine! ...Thank you. Yes. No, I’m fine. Mostly. Well, they jumped me in the garage and stuffed me in the trunk but the hottest guy in New Jersey managed to make them crash the car and-- No, I’m serious. The police are on the way; I need you to scramble the team. Yeah. Yes, really, I’m fine. Yeah. I’ll call after the police. I know, I know, you don’t have to-- Yeah, okay, I know.” He hung up without saying goodbye and handed the phone back to Bucky. “Thanks. My assistant,” he explained. “She likes to be kept up to date on my schedule.”

Bucky snorted. “So, this is, what, like someone’s extra meeting?” He saw light flashing in the distance, the wail of sirens getting closer. Very carefully, he took the gun out of his jacket pocket and put it on the pavement. “This is gonna be a very long evening,” he told Tony. Although given that he had a code for being kidnapped that his secretary knew, he was probably used to it. “Don’t suppose I can buy you a shitty cup of coffee after it’s done, or something?”

Tony looked at Bucky again, startled. “Wait, really? No, don’t answer that, you made the offer; no takebacks. Yes. You can buy me coffee. I’ll buy the doughnuts.”

“Square deal,” Bucky said, giving Tony a wide grin. “If I get out of this with less than a dozen moving violations, shitty coffee is gonna be all I can afford. By the way-- the Morse Code? That was clever. I was following them for like ten miles.”

Tony grinned back, offering Bucky a hand. “Thanks. And... Thanks.”

“I’d say anytime, but I’d rather you not make a habit of getting carjacked.”

“I dunno,” Tony said, giving Bucky an obvious once-over. “It might have been worth it.”

[crossinginstyle]

First Time Here? Chapter 3

Summary:  A young Jamie meets a Sassenach, and Claire's friends wonder why she hadn't texted them after her date.

Ao3 Link

Chapter 3: Verra Good Morning

He couldn’t have known until he was older that he’d had a pretty unconventional childhood.

Where most kids’ lives revolved around school, after-school cartoons, and playgrounds, Jamie Fraser’s life had been quite different.

His school had been learning to muck stalls, drive tractors, shoe horses, and birth foals, all by the age of six. (And in between, of course, had been strict reading, math, history, and language lessons sat between his brother, sister, and neighbors, as opposed to the hour-long trip to the nearest schoolhouse.)

Lallybroch hadn’t gotten the gift of cable until his adult years, so little Jamie sought entertainment from playful foals, goats, dogs, and also from generally being a wee shite and pestering his siblings.

And his playground…his playground has been a pub.

Perhaps that was the most unusual of all. How many children spent half their lives in a smoky pub, mastering darts and pool and earning a whole college fund in tips just by delivering food to tipsy ladies and giving them his most charming, cheeky grin?

But he wouldn’t have traded his upbringing for the world. He was brought up in a fun, safe, secure world, sure in the knowledge that we was ever beloved by his parents, siblings, and family.

But much of that sureness and security was destroyed when Jamie was ten, when his mother and big brother were killed in a car accident on their way to the hospital to deliver Jamie’s new baby brother.

Jamie and his sister, Jenny had both been at the pub with their da and their godfather, Murtagh. Jamie’s mam had allowed Willie to drive only the distance to the pub to get da…something thirteen-year-old Willie had done a hundred times…because she was in labor.

It hadn’t been Willie’s fault. No, it was the fault of the tourist who thought he could navigate the mountains just fine after a six-pack of beer. The tourist had lived, but at least Jamie knew that the bastard would have to live his life knowing his choices had taken the life of a woman and two children.

For a while after that, Jamie was lost. Everything he’d known to be so had been altered.

The one thing Jamie had always been most certain about had been that William could do anything. He could ride half-wild horses, dive off cliffs into the loch, charm any girl with naught but a wink. And yet he would never leave Jamie behind.

Where many older brothers treated their little brother like the nuisances they were, Willie made sure Jamie was always included, and always protected. Willie had been Jamie’s role-model, confidant, and best friend. And Jamie had had visions of himself being the same for his new wee brother. And the pub. The pub was meant to be Willie’s, and half the farm would be Jamie’s, the other half Jenny’s. Jamie didn’t mind inheriting the pub, but he would have traded it for his brother in a heartbeat.

In the blink of an eye all of that assurance was gone, along with his beautiful mother and her warm embrace, all-knowing gaze, endless kisses, and musical laugh.

And his father…his father had just never been quite the same. But how could he be? He’d lost his first born child, and Ellen McKenzie had been the love of Brian’s life. Jamie had spent his young childhood seeing firsthand what true love looked like, and he knew that he would never be able to settle for anything less.

He couldn’t have possibly known how true that was until much later. It all began the night he met her.

He’d been all of seventeen, and had yet to hit his final growth spurt, so he was still gangly of limb, narrow of chest, a voice that still cracked on occasion, and worst of all a baby-smooth face that just refused to grow more than a fuzzy mustache.

Da called him a late-bloomer, and assured him that he would wake up one morning and it would be like the boy he’d been had simply vanished. Murtagh suggested that maybe he just took after his sister is all…and if Jamie could have gotten away would pommeling his godfather, he would have.

Every day after school Jamie would head straight for the pub, where he would hurry to do his homework before work. He still mostly bussed tables, cleaned floors, and served food and drink, same as he had since he was wee, but at least now Da and Murtagh had taken to teaching him how to make the drinks, and of course the ins and outs of business itself.

It was a slow night, as most Thursday nights were, but since the town did boast a small University, it wasn’t at all uncommon to find tired college students loitering about after the restaurants and cafes were closed.

It was one of such groups that Jamie had been ordered to keep an eye on. Bored college students were known to cause trouble once alcohol was involved, and of course they were all wary of anyone leaving the establishment three sheets to the wind with car keys in their hands.

But this group of five appeared fairly innocuous. In fact none of them had had more than one beer, mostly focused on steadily devouring their burgers and fries.

“Can I get ye anythin’ else?” he asked as he passed their table.

“Can you draw a diagram of the aortic valve?”

Jamie arched a brow down at the lass to his right, the one with all the hair who’d been sitting with her back to the bar all night.

But when Jamie saw her properly for the first time, he could have sworn his heart stopped.

To say she was bonny would have been a terrible understatement. He may have been only seventeen, but she was easily the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Pearl-like skin, bonny wee freckles, full lips, and the most remarkable eyes…the very color of a fine whiskey.

Those eyes were staring at him, sparkling and full of mischief.

“Ignore her,” the lad sitting beside her said, laughing. “She’s just had it with test prep.”

“If I have to look at one more word tonight, I will explode,” the lass said. “Boom, aortic valve everywhere. And then my friends would have to double your tip for the mess it would make.”

“Leave him alone, Claire,” another lass said. “You’re embarrassing the kid!”

“Claire,” Jamie croaked, not having meant to…not aloud at least.

“That’s me,” she said, still grinning teasingly, but not in a way that Jamie felt made-fun of. “And what’s your name, good sir?”

Jamie gulped, willing his bloody brain to work damn it! He’d never been a fool around girls before, why the hell did he have to start now?!

“J…James,” he said at last, his voice blessedly unwavering. “James Alexander Malcolm McKenzie Fraser.”

The rest at the table laughed, except for her.

“That’s quite a distinguished name, James,” she said.

“Jamie, please,” he told her, mentally kicking himself for pretentiously offering his full name like that.

“Jamie,” she amended.

“Jamie,” Murtagh barked from behind the bar. “Ye gonna stand over there blathering or are ye gonna get to work?”

She still didn’t laugh as the others continued to, just grinned at him some more before turning back to his friends.

He didn’t think he’d ever see her again. Didn’t think he was that lucky. But the next Friday she was there, with the same friends as before. Only instead of jeans and a t-shirt; the standard wear for tired college student, she was dressed in a blue skirt and white blouse and it was all Jamie could do to keep his eyes in his head where they belonged.

Unlike Thursdays, Fridays were very busy, so Jamie could only glimpse her from time to time as she laughed with her friends, drank an impressive amount of whiskey, and slaughtered the lads at darts.

He knew she wouldn’t talk to him. And he wasn’t about to go say hi only for her not to remember him at all. But to his surprised, he looked up from wiping a glass to find her leaning on the other side of the bar, that same wee grin on her face.

“Hello, Jamie!” she chirped.

“H…hello,” he stammered. “Ye remember me?” Idiot!

“School hasn’t fried my brain that much,” she laughed. “I swear though I desperately wanted to come over here and recite your full name but I chickened out. Afraid I’d butcher it.”

Jamie laughed. “Ah, dinna fash. I would have let ye think you’d gotten it right either way.” Oh. Not bad. Much better, at least.

Her nose wrinkled adorably, giving him the ridiculous urge to kiss it. “Dinna fash? I have to say that’s not one I’ve heard before.”

Jamie blushed. “Oh, aye. It’s a bit old fashioned, but my godfather says it all the time. It only means don’t worry.”

“Ah,” she nodded solemnly. “Hakuna Matata.”

He laughed and rolled his eyes. “Aye, more or less. Ye’re clearly no’ from here.”

“No,” she admitted. “I’m from Oxford originally, but my uncle went to school here. He moves around for work a lot, but I liked the idea of carrying on his legacy by attending here.”

“You live wi’ your uncle then?”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” she looked away and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “My parents died when I was small. He raised me.”

Jamie winced in sympathy. “My mam died when I was young. It doesn’a leave ye.”

“No,” she agreed, smiling again. “What about you? Are you in university here?”

Jamie inwardly groaned, face surely flushed as red as his damned hair. “Uhh…no, I’m um…S6. Final year of secondary.”

She nodded. “Are you going to go to university here?”

Every fiber of his being wanted to tell her yes. He had sudden, vivid images of them in university together, her showing him the ropes, he her willing pupil…

“No,” he admitted at last. “I’ve already been accepted tae Oxford.”

Her eyes widened. “Impressive! Congratulations! It’s like we’ll be switching places!”

He grimaced. Why was the universe so cruel? “Aye, now I’ll be th’ Sassenach.”

Claire paused and narrowed her eyes. She didn’t look that serious, but it still gave Jamie a bit of a chill, and he hoped never to be on the other end of her true anger.

“Are you calling me a Sassenach?” she said. “Because I have been called that and I am aware that it isn’t complimentary.”

“It only means that’s you’re English!” Jamie protested. “Or at worst, an Outlander. And ye are.”

“Does it now?” she said suspiciously. “Well, I suppose I am at that.”

“Claire!” one of her friends called. “What are you doing? It’s your turn at the board!”

“Better go,” she said. “See you around…” she narrowed her eyes again. “James Alexander Malcolm McKenzie Fraser.”

He couldn’t help but laugh, just impressed that she really had remembered.

“See ye around,” he said as she turned to walk away. “Sassenach.”

She spun back around on her heels, shooting him a playful middle finger, then disappeared in the crowd.

“Get that tongue back into your head, boy,” his Da said, sidling up beside him and slapping him on the back. “Ye look like a mongrel.”

Jamie smiled sheepishly. “Do I have tae go to Oxford?” he said, only half joking.

Brian rolled his eyes, and slapped Jamie on the back again. “You’re going to Oxford. There’ll be plenty of bonny lasses for you tae chase once you’re there.”

Jamie figured his father was right. But would any lass be like her?

I rolled over with a moan, shoving impatiently at my quilt. It was hot! Why was it so…oh…

When my hand came into contact with someone else’s skin, my eyes flew open.

At first all I could see was a tangled mixture of curling hair; dark brown and red. And then I moved my own mess of hair out of the way and could finally see Jamie’s face, relaxed in sleep.

For a long moment I just stared at him. He looked unbearably sweet and young, and when I slowly reached over to brush the hair out of his face, his lips quirked up in a smile.

I rolled back over onto my back and sighed, trying to stretch my limbs without disturbing him. I was aching in the best possible way, but otherwise felt boneless and deliciously debauched.

I’d slept with Jamie Fraser. No, more than that, I’d taken the virginity of Jamie Fraser. It had been impulsive in the extreme, totally unlike myself, and yet I didn’t regret it in the least. On the contrary, I couldn’t wait to do it again.

I looked back over at him, at his chest as it rose and fell, at the sheet that draped over his lower half, but doing nothing to conceal the little…well, not so little…morning issue.

My brain ran through several different scenarios. I could wake him with a kiss…slowly coax him to wakefulness and hopefully draw his attention. Or…

Smirking to myself I grabbed hold of the sheet and slowly pushed it down, careful not to wake him. He shifted at the sudden feeling of cold air on his lower extremities and I paused until he settled back into sleep.

Once he had, another dreamy smile on his face, I inched down the bed, letting myself admire the part of him that was most definitely awake already, standing proud in the early morning sunlight.

I lightly ran my fingers up the length of him, watching him twitch in mindless interest. I’d never much cared for this particular act with Frank. It had always been uncomfortable and awkward. He’d loved it of course, but he disliked reciprocating, so oral sex was just something we didn’t do.

So it baffled me that I so desperately wanted to do it for Jamie. He’d probably received it before, he wasn’t a monk after all, but I doubted he’d ever been awoken that way.

Jamie’s breathing was starting to become less even, so I knew he would be waking soon. Leaning up, I first pressed a kiss to the tip before opening my mouth and sinking down over him, hollowing my cheeks.

He woke with a gasp, his entire body going rigid before relaxing just as suddenly, a sleepy hand landing heavily on my head.

“Sassenach,” he whispered. “What…”

I pulled away just long enough to shush him, then got back to work, stroking the parts of him my mouth couldn’t cover with my hand.

“Christ,” he hissed, followed by a string of Gaelic that impressed me. I hadn’t known that many people spoke it fluently anymore.

His fingers wound themselves into my hair, but he didn’t try to control the motion of my head, only clung to me like a lifeline, and I loved the slight sting where he pulled accidentally.

“Claire,” he breathed. “I’m goin’ tae…”

It was at this point I would have normally moved away, finishing him with my hand. But with a mental shrug and a fuck it, I sucked harder instead, shocked by the way the feeling and taste of him finishing in my mouth sent shockwaves of pleasure right to my core.

I released him was a satisfying pop and crawled back up to lie beside him, grinning smugly.

“Good morning,” I said, playfully circling one of his nipples with the tip of my finger.

“Verra good,” he gasped, struggling to catch his breath. “That was…I…um…is it right tae thank ye?”

I laughed and cuddled into his side. “Well, it doesn’t hurt.”

He grinned and rolled over, pinning me beneath him. “Thank ye. And I suppose now it’s your turn, aye?” he started to kiss his way down my chest, and the idea wasn’t an unfavorable one, but I thought about the way Frank recoiled with a grimace, or the boy I’d dated in high school who had tried but had given up when it took too long for me to relax enough to let it feel good.

I knew Jamie would be much sweeter than that, but I just didn’t think I was quite ready to open myself up that much.

“Hmm, maybe later,” I said, making sure to smile so he wouldn’t think I was just being nice. I grabbed his face between my hands and dragged him back up to my face for a kiss, and I must have had it bad since even his morning breath didn’t bother me.

“But…” he muttered against my mouth, and I grabbed his hand before he could argue and brought it between my legs.

This was something Jamie knew how to do, and do well, so he did it with abandon. His large, callused fingers sank inside me while his thumb pressed against the side of my clit, making me buck and write against him. All the while he was no doubt leaving marks up and down the column of my neck, until his lips fastened around my nipple, and I’d never even realized just how sensitive I could be there.

I latched onto Jamie shoulder with my teeth, hoping to leave a mark of my own, and whimpered as my orgasm washed over me long and hard.

He stroked me gently through the aftershocks, then pulled me tightly into his embrace before we both dozed off into very satisfied sleep.

When I awoke again it was mid-morning, and there was an annoying tapping sound that just didn’t seem to want to stop.

I opened my eyes, face-to-face with Jamie’s chest. He was still sound asleep, and I couldn’t fight a smile at the knowledge of just how cuddly he was in sleep.

The tapping sound started again and I sighed when I realized finally that it the door, and it also didn’t sound like they were giving up any time soon.

“It’s my day off,” I whispered in annoyance, gently detangling myself from Jamie’s grasp so I could roll out of bed. Whoever it was, they were still knocking, so I hurriedly patted around for something to put on, unearthing Jamie’s wrinkled button down shirt from among the tangle of blankets. I smirked as I put it on, checking to make sure it covered everything before tip-toing out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind me.

I snatched up my phone first, which had been left on my coffee table, and rolled my eyes with a groan. Seven missed calls, and eighteen text messages from both Joe and Louise, which at a glance seemed to contain the same general sentiment of YOU NEVER CALLED AFTER YOUR DATE, ARE YOU ALIVE?!

It was absolutely no surprise at all to glance out the peephole to see Joe on the other side of the door, so I rolled my eyes again and opened it.

“Damn it, Lady Jane!” Joe exclaimed as soon as the door opened. “Louise and I have been trying to get ahold of you since last night! You know the rules; you go on a date with a new guy, you check in afterwards! I’ve been worried sick!”

My shoulders slumped. “God, Joe, you’re right, I’m so sorry. I left my phone on silent and I just didn’t think about it.”

Joe looked me up and down, seeming to finally register my apparel, and he chuckled in amusement. “Well, you clearly look well. More than well…I daresay you look well laid. Good, job, Lady! I take it the date went well!” he glanced over my shoulder into the apartment. “Shit, is he still here?”

“Actually, the date was a bust,” I said, leaning against the doorjamb.

Joe frowned in confusion. “Really? What, was it a wham, bam, thank you ma’am?”

I laughed, grimacing even as I did so. “God, Joe! Who says that?! I didn’t bring Garrett home. He was a prick.”

“Then what…”

“Sassenach, are ye…”

Jamie trailed off, and I turned around to find him standing like a deer in the headlights outside my bedroom door, thankfully wearing boxers. “Oh…hey Joe,” he said nervously.

“HEY JAMIE!” Joe exclaimed loudly, his mouth open in a goofy grin and his eyes wide and sparkling before they flicked back to me, so alight it looked like he’d just seen a fairy.

I smiled wryly at him. “Yeah. Anyway, thanks for checking on me Joe, and I’m sorry I didn’t call.”

“No problem!” Joe said, backing out of the doorway. “NONE at all! You two just…carry on, and I’ll talk to you later, Lady Jane. Bye Jamie, see you later!”

“Bye Joe,” Jamie said bemusedly as I closed the door. “Sorry, lass,” he said, wincing.

I chuckled. “Don’t be, I’d have told him later either way. Wasn’t quite expecting him to react like that though.”

“He looked…well he didn’a look mad, at least.”

I laughed. “No. And just wait.”

“Wait for what?”

I leaned back against the door and held up my phone so he could see the screen, and ticked my fingers off with my other hand, three, two, one…

My phone buzzed repeatedly as text after text lit up the screen in rapid succession.

Jamie came closer so he could see the screen.

“From Louise,” he read aloud. “Omg Claire, Joe just fucking told me that you fucked Jamie Fraser from the bar is this true…” he chuckled and read the next one. “Erm, that’s just a bunch of random letters, and bitch you better text me back before you go back to screwing Mr. Hot Highlander. How could you do this and not tell me? What the fuck took so long…”

I laughed and turned the phone off before tossing it onto the couch. “I’ll text her back later.”

[bryce--newhouse-blog]

♡ . ˚ ◝ chris pratt, thirty-two, cismale, he/him ↷ in level ten, apartment 1205 you’ll find bryce newhouse. he has been living in wisteria apartments as a publisher/volunteer firefighter for a year. during that time they have earned the reputation of the icarian. it makes sense you know, they can be loyal + supportive but let’s not forget they’re pretty hot-headed + closed off. crackling flames, cracked book spines, filled passport books .× kay. 25. she/her/hers. est. ×

more about him below the cut & if you like this i’m gonna message you to plot unless you hit me up first bc yes. also SAVE yourself and just go with the summary and the personality because i wrote a NOVEL i’m sorry! 

Summary:

Rebellious, Brooklyn-born, rich kid who finally turned his life around when he got a dose of reality. Heir of the Newhouse family (famous for publishing among other things), he attended NYU to study finance while he found his home with the FDNY. He was getting his life together, succeeding in school and his internships, working part time with the family company and volunteering with the fire house. On a call one night, he met the girl he believed he’d spend the rest of his life with, she was the victim of a drunk driving accident and once they cut her free he couldn’t forget about her. He started visiting her in the hospital every day, helped her through rehab, they were really great together in his eyes. Six years later, he planned a trip to Paris to propose. She broke down in tears while he was on one knee and admitted to a multi-year affair with one of his FDNY brothers. Livid, he hopped on the first plane to the first state he spotted on the departures list and ended up in downtown LA about a year ago. In the year he’s been out in the golden coast, he’s taken his family’s publishing company to new realms and has opened another publishing house out on the west coast. Though he manages the west coast office full time, he still volunteers with the fire company as well. 

Biography:

The next generation of Newhouse’s began with Bryce’s birth.. A supposed autumn baby, arriving in the dead heat of summer as a surprise to his parents - Adam and Olivia, was a tell-tale sign of what the eldest Newhouse son would be for the rest of his life. Though the Newhouse name was well known, their publishing company presence expansive across the world, Bryce’s parents made sure him and his younger brother and sister did not grow up with the typical nanny experience in their Brooklyn brownstone house. Olivia kept her hands busy with her children, but also helped her husband manage his role and stake in the family business with ease. Adam made sure to leave his work exactly where it was meant to be left when he came home to his wife and children at night, refusing to mix family time with work. It had allowed the Newhouse children to grow up in a supportive environment with parents that paid attention to them.

Bryce, being the oldest, often found himself testing the boundaries of what his parents would allow. From his toddler years, all the way up until his young adulthood, he tested to see how far he could get with his actions before his parents swooped in to stop him. What started out as touching things he wasn’t supposed to, slowly creeped up to worse and worse incidents, and the fear about the family’s business set in as Bryce grew older. His parents shipped him off to boarding school once he hit fourteen – an action he had never seen coming from his childhood and the support his parents had always given him. In turn, he acted out, finding himself in and out of a new boarding school every year of his high school career. When high school graduation rolled around, he knew his time testing the limits of his parents was over. His father, disappointed sat him down and gave him two options: he could either go to college and earn his spot in the company, or he could get out and live life on his own. The dose of reality set into the rebellious young adult, but he refused to give in.

He spent six months on his own, crashing on couches of high school friends, taking on whatever jobs would hire him, but eventually he realized his mistake. Returning home to grovel his case – his parents welcomed him back without hesitation and though he was surprised he remained grateful. He spent two years taking classes at a SUNY, working up his GPA to a 4.0 to off-balance his high school record before he applied to a slew of four year colleges. During his time in his first couple years of college, he began to volunteer more – finding a FDNY. When his acceptance letters rolled in from out of state colleges, his position with the fire department weighed on him and he decided to take a spot at NYU to finish out his finance degree so he could still stay with his department. Bryce had completed turned around from the trouble starting teen – he balanced classes, internships and his time with the fire company with ease. He made time for his family and allowed himself to be the older brother his siblings could look up to. His life was golden, and it only got better when he met the girl of his dreams in the most unlikely way.

An early night fire call had him on route with his engine to a car accident. A call to them for an auto accident meant one of two things: they either had a fire burning because of the accident or they needed the jaws of life. Twenty-three-year-old Bryce had already seen enough auto accidents to know that neither option was good. There were no amber colored flames when the engine rolled up and he could explicitly remember the entire crew taking a deep breath as they examined the scene. It was a drunk driving accident that had taken down four other cars and a tractor trailer. One of the cars had slipped nearly underneath the bottom of the tractor trailer and all the men in the engine were quite sure it would be a recovery mission instead of a rescue one. But, they were informed differently when they filed out, each of them reporting to their specific command while they got their information. Trapped in the car was a nineteen-year-old girl, her friends had been able to escape from the car after the accident, but she was trapped in the driver’s seat, needing their equipment to get her out to even begin to access her injuries. His captain immediately sent Bryce over to try and connect with the victim, and he did exactly that.

He had always had a way of calming people, and once he let go of his rebellious years he was able to fine tune it and she was no different. He kept her calm, chatting about anything and everything he could think of. She was in her second year of college, pursing a BFA in dance from Juilliard and her only concern was whether she’d ever be able to dance again after what she was going through. He held some fear for her, unable to share them with her for fear of making it worse on her, and so he promised her she would. After what felt like hours they finally cut her free, immediately rushing her to the nearest hospital for treatment and Bryce was set on doing what he always did after a call – hoping for the best and avoiding the news for a few days to make sure he didn’t hear if it was the worst news. But, instead he tossed and turned that night, her face popping in and out of his head and he knew as soon as the sun came up he’d have to find out if she was okay.

Bryce found himself at the hospital she had been sent to, pacing back and forth until one of the friends he had made through his involvement with the company would let him in to see her. She was surprised to see him, and the sight of her had nearly done the same to him. Her legs had been injured in the crash, broken in a handful of places and he felt so guilty for assuring her that she would be able to dance again when he had no idea how hurt she was. She seemed hopeful though, resilient with her words and he found that one visit wasn’t enough. Soon it progressed to every week, and then slowly every few days before he found himself there with her every night, the pair of them chatting and laughing over Netflix shows and life in general. When she was finally released and entered rehab, it seemed only fitting that he was there with her and slowly they realized they had become more than either of them imagined they would ever be. Their relationship only grew as she continued to get better and when they could actually go out on their first date after all their time spent together - the rest seemed to be history. She went back to school to finish her BFA while he worked with his family’s company, bringing the publishing company into new light when he signed on new young-adult authors who were pushing the lines with their writing, it was a bold move for the Newhouse company, but it immediately paid off and Bryce was credited with the famed move. His life was nearly perfect when he hit his late twenties. His job was good, his family was wonderful, he had the same woman by his side for six years and he was happy. There wasn’t much else he could ask for except to begin a family of his own, and so he took the steps to do that. Their schedules had gotten hectic and so Bryce booked a vacation for the two of them to spend some time together and so he could also pop the question. A trip to Paris for them to check off their bucket list and coming home as an engaged couple – that was really all he wanted. And yet, when he dropped down to one knee, the diamond ring he had picked especially with her in mind her reaction was to immediately break down in tears. Initially, he thought they were good tears, but eventually a confession spilled from her. She had been having an affair for years – with one of his best friends from the fire company. It was a shock – something he had never expected of her and he walked away from her that night and found himself booking a flight to the first state he spotted on the departures list – California. Personality: Bryce is a mixture of all things when it comes to personality. He can be quiet and reserved, but can also let loose and be the life of a party. He’s incredibly indecisive with everything – it’ll take him hours to figure out what he wants to eat for his next meal and once he’s decided he’s usually likely to change it. He can be a sweetheart and wicked charming, but he can also be hot-headed and has recently developed a temper. Bryce reads situations and people very well – he can often pick up on people’s emotions. He has the ability to be brutally honest and overly opinionated, but also can tone himself down and get to the level of the person he’s speaking too. He’s very careful about who he trusts now, hesitant to really open up to anyone after leaving his trust with someone for so long and it backfiring on him.

[t2-infinity-and-beyond]

Sally’s Race Chapter 2

Sally was parked across from her boyfriend Lightning McQueen as she sipped at her can of oil. For some reason she wasn’t very thirsty. She couldn't stop thinking about that race…

“Sal?”

Sally perked up, focusing her attention on Lightning instead of on her wild thoughts. “Huh?”

“You okay?” he questioned.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine,” she responded, looking back down at her oil can. “Just thinking.”

“What about?”

“It’s nothing, honest,” Sally responded, lightly shrugging it off.

Lightning gave her a knowing look. “Sally, I can tell when it’s nothing. This isn’t nothing.”

He was right. It wasn’t nothing. She couldn’t get the feeling of the wind against her face, the dirt rushing beneath her tires, the adrenaline pumping through her veins— out of her mind. She hadn’t felt this strongly about anything since she fell in love with her Stickers.

She bit her lip, hesitant to ask the question she desperately wanted to ask. “Lightning?”

“Yeah, Pinstripe?”

“…Will you teach me to race?”

Lightning was taken aback. Out of all the things he had expected her to say, that was not one of them. It took him a second to process what she was asking of him. “…What?”

Sally got flustered by his dazed response. “I’m sorry, forget I said anything. It was a stupid idea, what was I thinking? I’m not even a race ca—“

“Yes.”

“…Huh?”
 “Yes, I’ll train you,” he said with a grin.

Sally’s face completely lit up. “You mean it?!”

Lightning chuckled. “Of course I do! Why wouldn’t I train you?”

She became sheepish. “I don't know, I thought you would think it was silly…”

Lightning was taken aback. “‘Silly?’ Why would I think that?”

“Look at me, Lightning. I’m not a race car! I wasn’t built for this!”

“So? You’re the most amazing car I have ever met! You can do anything you put your mind to, and I honestly believe that you can do this! And you know what? I don’t care if people think I’m crazy.” His tone turned serious. “I would do anything for you, Sally.”

Sally felt her engine begin to overheat, which happened every time her beloved race car said anything like that to her. She smiled. “I love you, you know that?”

“I would hope so, we’ve been dating for an awfully long time,” Lightning smirked.

Sally rolled her eyes with a smile, nudging him in the side with her tire in response to the smart comeback.

Lightning chuckled. “We’ll begin your training in the morning, Ms. Carrera.”

“Wakey wakey!! Rise and shine, sleepy head!!”

The blue Porsche groaned and slightly opened her eyes. Lightning McQueen was in her face, looking energetic and a little too excited for this early in the morning. “Wha…? Stickers, what time is it…?” she asked through a stifled yawn.

“It’s training time!” Lightning responded enthusiastically. “As well as 3 o’ clock in the morning,” he added under his breath. 

Sally groaned once more and turned away from him. 

The red race car however dashed over to her other side and began pestering her once more. “You’re the one who said you wanted to train, weren’t you?” he asked. “Because if so, you’re gonna have to be more pumped and energized!” he said, lightly bouncing up and down on his tires.

“It’s too early to be pumped and energized,” Sally responded. “Why can’t training begin at a decent time? Like 10?”

“Oh, but if you wake up that late, then you won’t be able to see the surprise!”

Sally was intrigued. “What surprise?”

“Well I can’t tell you, silly, then it won’t be a surprise!” Lightning responded with a smug grin on his face.

Sally rolled her eyes. “Alright, fine, let’s train…”

Lightning chuckled. “C’mon, Pinstripe, let’s go!” He quickly drove out of their shared Cozy Cone into the dark streets of Radiator Springs, and Sally followed close behind him.

“Alright. First we’re going to take a short drive to get your engine warmed up,” Lightning said to Sally.

Sally yawned, not quite completely awake yet. “Sounds easy enough,” she responded.

“Follow me,” Lightning said to her, driving off down the road.

She followed close behind her boyfriend, letting him lead. The two of them drove down the road until it became a dirt track, having been driven on for generations. The canyons looked extremely dark and vast in the moonlight as they drove side by side. Neither said anything as they took in the beauty of the scenery as well as enjoyed the other’s presence. The stars were still out at this time, and in the country there were no street lights to interfere with their shimmering beauty. It was truly breathtaking. After a while, McQueen finally broke the silence.

“Has Mater ever taken you out to the tractor field?” he asked.

“Yes, I’ve been before.”

“Have you been there in the dark?” Lightning asked with a smirk.

“Well… No, actually, I haven’t. Why?”

Just then Lightning McQueen took off down the road. “Hey, wait up!” Sally called as she raced after him.

The two soon arrived at the entrance to the tractor enclosure. Inside the fence the tractors were sleeping soundly. Not a sound could be heard aside from the chirping of crickets and the soft snoring of the tractors. Sally found the scene quite peaceful and smiled at the sight. “It’s so pretty,” she whispered softly.

“Yeah, it sure is,” Lightning responded quietly. “Follow me.”

Sally drove after her Stickers, being careful not to roll over any sticks or twigs that would make a loud ‘snap’ and disturb the silence. 

McQueen quietly approached one of the sleeping tractors. “Observe,” he whispered to his girlfriend. The beautiful silence of the night was suddenly broken by a thunderous roar emanating from Lightning’s engine. All the nearby tractors were scared awake by the loud noise, and soon fell over from the shock. Lightning started laughing as he drove over to Sally. “Now quick, quick, it’s your turn! Go over to that side of the field and get those stray tractors over there,” he urged, nudging her along the grass towards the remaining tractors.

Sally was hesitant at first, not sure if they should be doing this, but quickly warmed up to the idea. It was pretty funny, after all. She slowly drove up to a sleeping tractor that had been too far away to be woken by McQueen’s engine. She glanced over at her boyfriend, not sure if they should be doing this. However, McQueen simply nodded at her with a huge grin on his face, urging her to continue. Sally sighed, thinking that this was a little ridiculous.

The blue Porsche honked her horn, waking the nearby tractors. As they had with Lightning’s scare, they awoke with a gasp and tipped over from the fright. Sally giggled, now understanding why Lightning would enjoy doing this. Then, audible above both her and McQueen’s laughter, a loud bellowing could be heard. Sally immediately stopped laughing, concerned about what that noise was. Something else had been awoken by her honk.

“Now here comes the fun part!” Lightning said through an excited laugh. “What?” Sally questioned, but before her boyfriend could answer, she saw headlights coming towards them in the darkness. Frank came bursting from the bushes, looking as enraged as Sally had ever seen him.

“Drive!!” Lightning shouted, motioning for Sally to follow him towards the exit. Sally stood frozen for a second before quickly following her Stickers, staying close behind. She was so frightened that she drove as fast as her tires could take her. Frank was hot on their tail lights, bellowing loudly in annoyance. With her adrenaline pumping, she passed Lightning and beat him by a long shot to the exit of the enclosure and continued down the street until she was a safe distance away from that scary bull.

Lightning came up behind her, out of breath, but with a huge grin on his face. “Haha! Wow, you really are fast, Sal!”

Sally glared at him. “You almost got us killed! What were you thinking?!”

“No I didn’t! We’re okay, aren’t we?” he smirked.

Sally rolled her eyes. “That’s not the point!”

“C’mon, I knew you would be able to outrun him! Plus, you reached a new top speed!” Lightning said encouragingly, nudging her fender.

“You could have at least warned me that we were going to be chased by a terrifying, murderous bull!!”

“Yeah, I could have, but in races you have to prepare for the unexpected! No one’s going to be able to tell you ahead of time what will happen or what to brace yourself for during a race. I just want you to be prepared.”

“I guess I can understand that logic, but we could have been ground to dust! Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?” Sally retorted.

“I hate to say it Sal, but… sometimes races don’t end with all the racers still um… intact,” Lightning said in a more serious tone.

Sally’s expression changed as she had vivid flashbacks to Lightning’s crash. His frantic weaving around on the track as he tried to regain control. The sparks that flew as he hit the wall. The stunned silence of the crowd as he went flying through the air, smashing against the pavement again. And again. And again.

“You’re right…” Sally said. “I’m sorry…”

McQueen smiled affectionately. “Don’t be sorry. I just don’t want you to get hurt. I want you to be ready.”

Sally nodded, returning the race car’s smile. “I understand.”

Just then, a light started to appear in the darkness. Sally looked over at the horizon and was taken aback by what she saw.

In the east the sun was slowly rising above the rolling landscape. The warm, orange and red light bathed the land that had once been cloaked in darkness. She could hear the sound of birds chirping as they awoke in their nests and the gentle breeze rustling the grass beneath their tires. She took in a deep breath of the fresh air, truly appreciating its scent.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Lightning said softly.

“It sure is…” Sally responded, still looking out at the horizon.

“This is what I wanted you to see,” McQueen said, moving in closer to her so that their fenders were almost touching. “The sunrise.”

“This is the surprise?” Sally questioned, looking over at her beloved race car. “Part of it,” he responded with a grin, and planted a kiss on her fender.

Sally giggled and pressed herself against him affectionately. “You really know how to charm a girl, don’t you?”

“Oh yeah, I’m basically an expert,” he smirked. “I create feelings in others that they themselves—“

“—don’t understand, uh-huh. I got it.”

[johannesviii]

Eater of Wasps

Some highlights of the last EDA I’ve read (Eater of Wasps).

I took these screens while reading, along with my reactions. As usual, this is full of spoilers.

O-kay, so this cover is pretty gruesome, I wonder if this is a-

OH SHIT OH NO

Well, that was unexpectedly great.

The problems keep piling up in this story and the action never really stops. It’s pretty straightforward and I wish some characters were given a bit more to do, but the regulars are still well written. Eight hasn’t been this alien since The Burning (which makes sense since it’s the same kind of story, with a basic plot but written like a thriller), Fitz is his usual loyal self, even when he’s scared shitless by the events, and Anji has some of the most interesting moments.

It’s also a real page-turner, with some gloriously horrible body horror left and right and more than a few laughs among all the stress. Unlike the previous book, this one doesn’t really try to make a point, it has a very traditional structure (if you forget the ton of gore thrown at us), and it’s just a gripping adventure with no other goal in mind. Definitely refreshing. 8/10

Okay this is a Baxendale book, so... how long have we got before the body horror and/or the killing starts

THAT WAS LITERALLY THE FIRST LINE

The TARDIS sounds like “a rather poorly cow”, according to this lady.

I laughed out loudly

Get back in the police box, Fitz, you unshaven untrustworthy criminal

Still laughing but I hope this old bigot dies in this story tbh

This description of our current Eight is simultaneously delightful and sad.

Miss “Old-bat-on-a-bike” Havers sounds exactly like a certain person who’s currently running for president in my country and who I hope to see crash and burn in the near future with all my heart

How many racist bigots are there in Miss “I-speak-for-the-whole-village” Havers’ shoes exactly

WELP TIME FOR FUN HEADCANONS ABOUT DANY PINK’S FAMILY TREE

“MISS HAVERS APPEARED READY TO COLLAPSE UNDER THIS ONSLAUGHT OF FOREIGN-SOUNDING NAMES”

Nope. Nope.

Eight wants to drive a tractor.

Also wasn’t he travelling far away from England in the thirties? I recall he said something like that in The Turing Test.

I’m smiling through the sadness this is confusing

Eight geeking about vintage cars, everyone

I really like the Pink brothers so far, so I’m pretty sure at least one of them is going to suffer horribly in this story

Well that’s also what Lawrence Miles claims and his books are roughly 50% politics so I don’t know about this

Eh eh

Eight playing Paranoid on a piano is my new aesthetic

Also I wondered how it would sound like on a piano and holy shit look at this video this person is so talented, like, damn

I don’t know who Kala is but her haircut made me laugh

So Rigby’s possessed by the wasps in some way?

Anji saying “bloody” impresses Hilary Pink and I find this endearing, somehow

We know, Eight, we know

The descriptions of the TARDIS team are great in this book.

I love this scene??

“There was something wrong” = understatement of the month

This creeps me out way more than the wasps themselves, to be honest, because I don’t particularly hate them. I have no idea how painful a wasp sting is because I’ve never been attacked by any of them ever. Granted, I don’t like them, but still.

Wait a second, is the old bigot contaminated too now?

“PITY ABOUT THE PLUMS”

COULD YOU PRETEND TO BE SAD ABOUT THE DEAD GUY FOR TWO CONSECUTIVE SECONDS YOU WALNUT

Extremely relatable

Run away. Run. Away.

Anji no

Good description cut, like, 10/10 would cut again

Can I breathe now? Cause I’d really enjoy that

Apparently I can’t

OH NOT MY HEART HE KEPT THE LETTER FOR 90 YEARS

I’m laughing like an idiot, that never gets old

Still laughing by the way

Well you did ask

Always the best course of action

I love this scene so much oh my god

Well that’s completely different, then

Have I already told you I loved this new TARDIS team with all my heart

[Unexpected sadness]

1) Eight was a sailor during the thirties, why isn’t there a book about that

2) Is that a reference to Pertwee’s tattoo?

3) If Eight really has a tattoo, wouldn’t that be a first (Three’s tattoo was there for real life reasons so it doesn’t really count)?

4) A tattoo of what

5) Where

6) If he hasn’t one and that’s all a lie… is… is he flirting with Fitz

I have no words

My hair is standing on end on my arms I’m not even joking at all holy f█cking shit that’s so f█cking creepy

OH. THAT’S EASY THEN. JUST IGNORE THE HUMAN WASP HIVE STANDING ABSOLUTELY STILL IN COMPLETE DARKNESS WITH HIS MOUTH OPEN TWO METERS AWAY FROM YOU. JUST IGNORE HIM. BECAUSE THAT’S VERY EASY, RIGHT

This shouldn’t be that funny but I’m half laughing half cringing

This scene is terrifying and hilarious at the same time, which results in me cringing like there’s no tomorrow

F█CK I KNEW IT

Holy shit Doctor

Good job, Kala, 10/10

Don’t we all

Oh god please try to explain the context to the police, Eight, I really want you to explain how you arrived in a police box and how Wasp Man is menacing that village because somebody dropped an alien thingie there

Nevermind

Funnier in hindsight

Fitz Kreiner, prison cells connaisseur

Of course he wouldn’t, but that’s still concerning.

Wait Miss “Old-bat-on-a-bike” Havers isn’t dead yet? Is there no justice in the world? (don’t answer that)

“I’m not sure what he is”

Oh that's perfectly normal then

Hey isn’t that the cover of the book?

Eight this is an autopsy for crying out loud don’t act like it’s an unboxing video

Oh. Oh wait. Oh f█ck. Is this book “SCP-439, but with wasps and the victims are mobile"? Oh shit that’s suddenly ten times worse

KILL IT WITH FIRE

FOR THE LULZ For the Vine no idea

Okay book I like you very much but there’s only so many times I can say "nope" in this liveblog and I’m going to run out of nopes soon

EXTREMELY RELATABLE??

I know the feeling, Eight, but please try to focus

That’s… that’s not exactly what she meant, Fitz. I do adore the fact that you had prepared an answer to that question, though

Hehe of course he would offer mint humbugs instead of jelly babies just to troll everyone about the wasps thing – also I want one, I’ve never tasted one before

Oh no cute

[Takes references for future drawings]

Honestly I love this description

SCREAMING

THERE’S BEEN A LOT OF GREAT SCENES IN THIS BOOK ALREADY BUT THAT’S IN THE TOP THREE FOR SURE

Eight you nerd

...........of course you did

implying things aren’t messy already

"overtactile"

Also I still can’t get this out of my head, wasn’t she attacked earlier ?

Ignore me I’m just dying a little bit over there

10/10 would fraud again

This book is almost non-stop action AND funny AND scary and honestly it would be a top-grade perfect Doctor Who book if the writing was slightly better and if the plot was a bit more original

Eight this is a bad idea and you know it

Anji is channelling my exact reaction

Eight every time you end up fighting someone it doesn’t end well for you

That quote is wonderful, I’m gonna memorise it for future D&D games

“It always looks easier in the movies”

This f█cking dialogue oh my god

Or perhaps you could blast the fire extinguisher right in his face before he hurts anyone else, just an idea

“Mad? I’m absolutely furious"

Nobody No-One’s on the phone & he wants his quote back

That’s always been one of my favorite things with Eight, his tendency to take one look at trolley problems and be like "nah". People die accidentally all the time but most of the time he refuses to be the person who decides who lives and who dies. Of course it’s highly debatable, but that’s what makes it interesting in the first place.

"Hope this is not Chris's blood"

Friendly reminder that the Doctor can detect blood types

I don’t know why but that particular sentence makes me laugh, the mental picture is irresistible

Fitz is that guy who always gets killed in slasher movies

And Eight can finally drive a tractor eeeeeee

That’s it that’s the book

Still in love with the descriptions from Rigby’s point of view, by the way.

GREAT EXACTLY WHAT WE NEEDED

GREAT EXACTLY WHAT WE NEEDED 2: THE QUICKENING

Also a defining trait of Eight in all his stories: his refusal to give up. Which is why the beginning of Dark Eyes was so great. And also Ship in a Bottle, because sometimes people need to remind him there’s always hope.

And that’s also what makes Night of the Doctor so heartwrenching ; it’s the Doctor who “never ever gives up” finally giving up, for good.

1) Anji is still channelling my thoughts 2) Honestly I’m glad Rigby’s now an actual monster because the human hive thing standing motionless in complete darkness was infinitely more creepy to me

Still loving these descriptions so I’m still screening them.

The fact that there’s still a part of him which knows this is a f█cking nightmare is the cherry on top, actually.

ASDFGHJHGHJK I FUCKING KNEW IT

“AND TO THINK I HUGGED YOU”

That’s your only reaction?

Ummm sorry I know the situation is extremely tense but look at this sweet little moment?? Thank you

Wasp Man

DOCTOR YOU LITTLE SHIT

Damn that was brutal

I shouldn’t be laughing so hard

Great just what we needed

Why is this still so funny

Can I breathe now

I don’t know why this is so cute to me but it really is

Friendly reminder that I love Anji

Everyone’s safe and nothing hurts, goodbye

Honestly I don’t even know which part of this I prefer.

Maybe "what deadline?".

[gyrlversion]

How Trump’s presidential campaign debut holds up four years later

Wow. Whoa. That is some group of people. Thousands.

So nice, thank you very much. That’s really nice. Thank you. It’s great to be at Trump Tower. It’s great to be in a wonderful city, New York. And it’s an honor to have everybody here. This is beyond anybody’s expectations. There’s been no crowd like this.

And, I can tell, some of the candidates, they went in. They didn’t know the air-conditioner didn’t work. They sweated like dogs.

They didn’t know the room was too big, because they didn’t have anybody there. How are they going to beat ISIS? I don’t think it’s gonna happen.

Our country is in serious trouble. We don’t have victories anymore. We used to have victories, but we don’t have them. When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let’s say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. All the time.

Trump pitched himself to voters as someone who regularly beats China, framing a trade deal as something the US could easily accomplish by putting him in office.

But more than two years into his presidency, the trade agreement Trump has been pursuing with China appears as elusive as ever. And the answer to Trump’s question still hasn’t changed.

When did we beat Japan at anything? They send their cars over by the millions, and what do we do? When was the last time you saw a Chevrolet in Tokyo? It doesn’t exist, folks. They beat us all the time.

Trump’s views on trade are among his longest-standing and most ideologically consistent. But before Trump was laser-focused on the impact of US-China trade on the US economy, he also criticized Japanese trade policies.

He’s pressed on as President, threatening tariffs on Japanese auto imports. So far he hasn’t made good on the threat, but the prospect of ratcheting trade tensions with Japan still looms.

When do we beat Mexico at the border? They’re laughing at us, at our stupidity. And now they are beating us economically. They are not our friend, believe me. But they’re killing us economically.

There are two interesting points here: 1) Just as Trump did earlier last month by threatening Mexico with tariffs until they decided to take action to reduce illegal immigration to the US, Trump here is linking trade and illegal immigration. And 2), he continues to treat Mexico as a competitor rather than a neighboring ally whose economic success is so closely linked to the US.

Trump did manage to ink a revamped NAFTA trade agreement with Mexico and Canada, but Trump is still waiting for Congress to ratify the deal.

The US has become a dumping ground for everybody else’s problems.

Thank you. It’s true, and these are the best and the finest. When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.

It took Trump about two minutes into his speech to get to an issue that proved central to his 2016 campaign. It’s been just as much of a driving force to his presidency and it is already proving a central issue in his re-election campaign.

This was the line that brought Trump the most criticism in the early days of his campaign, with many of his Republican primary opponents knocking Trump’s blanket characterization of undocumented immigrants as criminals and rapists.

But today, as President of the United States, Trump’s talk of undocumented migrants has barely changed: “It’s an invasion,” Trump said earlier this year of the uptick in Central American migrants crossing into the US. “We have an invasion of drugs and criminals coming into our country.”

But despite Trump’s focus on the issue — his declaration of a national emergency, a government shutdown aimed at securing border wall funding and his administration’s one-time zero–tolerance family separation policy — Trump has faced a dramatic spike in migrants trekking to the southern US border. And he is seizing the issue once again as a rallying cry for his base.

But I speak to border guards and they tell us what we’re getting. And it only makes common sense. It only makes common sense. They’re sending us not the right people.

It’s coming from more than Mexico. It’s coming from all over South and Latin America, and it’s coming probably – probably – from the Middle East. But we don’t know. Because we have no protection and we have no competence, we don’t know what’s happening. And it’s got to stop and it’s got to stop fast.

Islamic terrorism is eating up large portions of the Middle East. They’ve become rich. I’m in competition with them.

They just built a hotel in Syria. Can you believe this? They built a hotel. When I have to build a hotel, I pay interest. They don’t have to pay interest, because they took the oil that, when we left Iraq, I said we should’ve taken.

So now ISIS has the oil, and what they don’t have, Iran has. And in 19 – and I will tell you this, and I said it very strongly, years ago, I said – and I love the military, and I want to have the strongest military that we’ve ever had, and we need it more now than ever. But I said, “Don’t hit Iraq,” because you’re going to totally destabilize the Middle East. Iran is going to take over the Middle East, Iran and somebody else will get the oil, and it turned out that Iran is now taking over Iraq. Think of it. Iran is taking over Iraq, and they’re taking it over big league.

After talking trade with China and Mexico and illegal immigration, Trump gets to the issue that has been at the core of his Middle East policy: Iran.

And as he hits the four-year anniversary of this speech, US-Iran tensions are higher than they have been in years after Trump withdrew the US from the Iran deal and imposed stiff sanctions on Iran.

We spent $2 trillion in Iraq, $2 trillion. We lost thousands of lives, thousands in Iraq. We have wounded soldiers, who I love, I love – they’re great – all over the place, thousands and thousands of wounded soldiers.

And we have nothing. We can’t even go there. We have nothing. And every time we give Iraq equipment, the first time a bullet goes off in the air, they leave it.

During his campaign, Trump laid out both a muscular vision of US military might and a starkly non-interventionist vision of US foreign policy. It’s a tension that has driven Trump’s foreign policy as President.

But just as Trump lamented US spending and lives lost in the Iraq War, Trump has struggled to extricate the US from foreign conflicts.

Instead, Trump launched the first US military action against the Syrian regime since civil war broke out in that country and ultimately bowed to pressure from his generals and national security advisers to keep — and even increase – troops in Afghanistan.

Late last year, though, Trump moved to withdraw US forces from Syria and Afghanistan, though those plans have not yet come to fruition.

Last week, I read 2,300 Humvees – these are big vehicles – were left behind for the enemy. 2,000? You would say maybe two, maybe four? 2,300 sophisticated vehicles, they ran, and the enemy took them.

Last quarter, it was just announced our gross domestic product – a sign of strength, right? But not for us. It was below zero. Whoever heard of this? It’s never below zero.

Our labor participation rate was the worst since 1978. But think of it, GDP below zero, horrible labor participation rate.

And our real unemployment is anywhere from 18 to 20 percent. Don’t believe the 5.6. Don’t believe it.

That’s right. A lot of people up there can’t get jobs. They can’t get jobs, because there are no jobs, because China has our jobs and Mexico has our jobs. They all have jobs.

Again, China and Mexico dominate Trump’s thinking on trade.

But the real number, the real number is anywhere from 18 to 19 and maybe even 21 percent, and nobody talks about it, because it’s a statistic that’s full of nonsense.

Our enemies are getting stronger and stronger by the way, and we as a country are getting weaker. Even our nuclear arsenal doesn’t work.

It came out recently they have equipment that is 30 years old. They don’t know if it worked. And I thought it was horrible when it was broadcast on television, because boy, does that send signals to Putin and all of the other people that look at us and they say, “That is a group of people, and that is a nation that truly has no clue. They don’t know what they’re doing. They don’t know what they’re doing.”

We have a disaster called the big lie: Obamacare. Obamacare.

Trump’s promise to repeal Obamacare is one of the biggest unfulfilled promises of his presidency. Despite Republican majorities in the House and the Senate during his first two years in office, Trump failed to wrangle support for legislation to repeal and replace Obamacare.

It’s likely one of the biggest reasons why Trump continues to target the late Sen-John McCain, who was the decisive – but not the only – Republican ‘no’ vote on a final attempt to repeal Obama’s signature health care law.

Health care also proved a devastating issue to Republicans in 2018, becoming one of the biggest drivers of Democratic turnout in the midterms that handed control of the House to Democrats.

Now, Trump is promising a renewed effort at health care legislation – but not until after the 2020 election.

Yesterday, it came out that costs are going for people up 29, 39, 49, and even 55 percent, and deductibles are through the roof. You have to get hit by a tractor, literally, a tractor, to use it, because the deductibles are so high, it’s virtually useless. It is a disaster.

And remember the $5 billion Web site? $5 billion we spent on a Web site, and to this day it doesn’t work. A $5 billion Web site.

I have so many Web sites, I have all over the place. I hire people, they do a Web site. It costs me $3. $5 billion Web site.

Well, you need somebody, because politicians are all talk, no action. Nothing’s gonna get done. They will not bring us – believe me – to the promised land. They will not.

As an example, I’ve been on the circuit making speeches, and I hear my fellow Republicans. And they’re wonderful people. I like them. They all want me to support them. They don’t know how to bring it about. They come up to my office. I’m meeting with three of them in the next week. And they don’t know – “Are you running? Are you not running? Could we have your support? What do we do? How do we do it?”

I like them. And I hear their speeches. And they don’t talk jobs and they don’t talk China. When was the last time you heard China is killing us? They’re devaluing their currency to a level that you wouldn’t believe. It makes it impossible for our companies to compete, impossible. They’re killing us.

Trump’s obsession with US-China trade courses through this speech.

But you don’t hear that from anybody else. You don’t hear it from anybody else. And I watch the speeches.

I watch the speeches of these people, and they say the sun will rise, the moon will set, all sorts of wonderful things will happen. And people are saying, “What’s going on? I just want a job. Just get me a job. I don’t need the rhetoric. I want a job.”

And that’s what’s happening. And it’s going to get worse, because remember, Obamacare really kicks in in ‘16, 2016. Obama is going to be out playing golf. He might be on one of my courses. I would invite him, I actually would say. I have the best courses in the world, so I’d say, you know what, if he wants to – I have one right next to the White House, right on the Potomac. If he’d like to play, that’s fine.

In this speech and subsequent ones, Trump repeatedly derided Obama on the campaign trail for his golfing as President. But Trump has outpaced Obama’s time on the links as President.

Trump has spent 196 days at one of his golf properties so far in his presidency, according to a CNN tally. And in his first two years. By comparison, Obama didn’t hit 100 rounds of golf until the end of his first term, according to Mark Knoller of CBS News, who keeps detailed statistics of presidencies.

In fact, I’d love him to leave early and play, that would be a very good thing.

But Obamacare kicks in in 2016. Really big league. It is going to be amazingly destructive. Doctors are quitting. I have a friend who’s a doctor, and he said to me the other day, “Donald, I never saw anything like it. I have more accountants than I have nurses. It’s a disaster. My patients are beside themselves. They had a plan that was good. They have no plan now.”

We have to repeal Obamacare, and it can be – and – and it can be replaced with something much better for everybody. Let it be for everybody. But much better and much less expensive for people and for the government. And we can do it.

But he hasn’t done it yet.

So I’ve watched the politicians. I’ve dealt with them all my life. If you can’t make a good deal with a politician, then there’s something wrong with you. You’re certainly not very good. And that’s what we have representing us. They will never make America great again. They don’t even have a chance. They’re controlled fully – they’re controlled fully by the lobbyists, by the donors, and by the special interests, fully.

Yes, they control them. Hey, I have lobbyists. I have to tell you. I have lobbyists that can produce anything for me. They’re great. But you know what? it won’t happen. It won’t happen. Because we have to stop doing things for some people, but for this country, it’s destroying our country. We have to stop, and it has to stop now.

Now, our country needs – our country needs a truly great leader, and we need a truly great leader now. We need a leader that wrote “The Art of the Deal.”

We need a leader that can bring back our jobs, can bring back our manufacturing, can bring back our military, can take care of our vets. Our vets have been abandoned.

And we also need a cheerleader.

You know, when President Obama was elected, I said, “Well, the one thing, I think he’ll do well. I think he’ll be a great cheerleader for the country. I think he’d be a great spirit.”

He was vibrant. He was young. I really thought that he would be a great cheerleader.

He’s not a leader. That’s true. You’re right about that.

But he wasn’t a cheerleader. He’s actually a negative force. He’s been a negative force. He wasn’t a cheerleader; he was the opposite.

We need somebody that can take the brand of the United States and make it great again. It’s not great again.

We need – we need somebody – we need somebody that literally will take this country and make it great again. We can do that.

And, I will tell you, I love my life. I have a wonderful family. They’re saying, “Dad, you’re going to do something that’s going to be so tough.”

You know, all of my life, I’ve heard that a truly successful person, a really, really successful person and even modestly successful cannot run for public office. Just can’t happen. And yet that’s the kind of mindset that you need to make this country great again.

So ladies and gentlemen, I am officially running for president of the United States, and we are going to make our country great again.

It can happen. Our country has tremendous potential. We have tremendous people.

We have people that aren’t working. We have people that have no incentive to work. But they’re going to have incentive to work, because the greatest social program is a job. And they’ll be proud, and they’ll love it, and they’ll make much more money than they would’ve ever made, and they’ll be – they’ll be doing so well, and we’re going to be thriving as a country, thriving. It can happen.

I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created. I tell you that. I’ll bring back our jobs from China, from Mexico, from Japan, from so many places. I’ll bring back our jobs, and I’ll bring back our money.

Trade. Trade. Trade. The animating issue of Trump’s political career.

Right now, think of this: We owe China $1.3 trillion. We owe Japan more than that. So they come in, they take our jobs, they take our money, and then they loan us back the money, and we pay them in interest, and then the dollar goes up so their deal’s even better.

Japan returns to Trump’s mind here and his statistic was true at the time.

How stupid are our leaders? How stupid are these politicians to allow this to happen? How stupid are they?

I’m going to tell you – thank you. I’m going to tell you a couple of stories about trade, because I’m totally against the trade bill for a number of reasons.

Number one, the people negotiating don’t have a clue. Our president doesn’t have a clue. He’s a bad negotiator.

He’s the one that did Bergdahl. We get Bergdahl, they get five killer terrorists that everybody wanted over there.

We get Bergdahl. We get a traitor. We get a no-good traitor, and they get the five people that they wanted for years, and those people are now back on the battlefield trying to kill us. That’s the negotiator we have.

There was no evidence to support this claim that those released prisoners were “back on the battlefield.” But since then, the five former Guantanamo Bay detainees have joined the Taliban’s political office in Qatar and are sitting down face to face with US officials to negotiate an Afghanistan peace agreement.

Take a look at the deal he’s making with Iran. He makes that deal, Israel maybe won’t exist very long. It’s a disaster, and we have to protect Israel. But…

So we need people – I’m a free trader. But the problem with free trade is you need really talented people to negotiate for you. If you don’t have talented people, if you don’t have great leadership, if you don’t have people that know business, not just a political hack that got the job because he made a contribution to a campaign, which is the way all jobs, just about, are gotten, free trade terrible.

Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people, but we have people that are stupid. We have people that aren’t smart. And we have people that are controlled by special interests. And it’s just not going to work.

So, here’s a couple of stories happened recently. A friend of mine is a great manufacturer. And, you know, China comes over and they dump all their stuff, and I buy it. I buy it, because, frankly, I have an obligation to buy it, because they devalue their currency so brilliantly, they just did it recently, and nobody thought they could do it again.

But with all our problems with Russia, with all our problems with everything – everything, they got away with it again. And it’s impossible for our people here to compete.

So I want to tell you this story. A friend of mine who’s a great manufacturer, calls me up a few weeks ago. He’s very upset. I said, “What’s your problem?”

He said, “You know, I make great product.”

And I said, “I know. I know that because I buy the product.”

He said, “I can’t get it into China. They won’t accept it. I sent a boat over and they actually sent it back. They talked about environmental, they talked about all sorts of crap that had nothing to do with it.”

I said, “Oh, wait a minute, that’s terrible. Does anyone know this?”

He said, “Yeah, they do it all the time with other people.”

I said, “They send it back?”

“Yeah. So I finally got it over there and they charged me a big tariff. They’re not supposed to be doing that. I told them.”

Trump is known to use anecdotes involving his “friends” to make a point, and this one makes the central one in Trump’s view of China: that there is an uneven playing field on trade between the two countries and that US companies can’t compete in China. Leveling that playing field has been one of the central US demands in the ongoing trade talks between Washington and Beijing.

Now, they do charge you tariff on trucks, when we send trucks and other things over there.

Ask Boeing. They wanted Boeing’s secrets. They wanted their patents and all their secrets before they agreed to buy planes from Boeing.

It’s true that US companies have repeatedly been victims of intellectual property theft in China. And the Chinese system is set up to force joint ventures between US and Chinese companies in order for those US companies to gain access to the Chinese market, often resulting in “forced technology transfers.” This has also been a major sticking point in US-China trade talks.

Hey, I’m not saying they’re stupid. I like China. I sell apartments for – I just sold an apartment for $15 million to somebody from China. Am I supposed to dislike them? I own a big chunk of the Bank of America Building at 1290 Avenue of the Americas, that I got from China in a war. Very valuable.

I love China. The biggest bank in the world is from China. You know where their United States headquarters is located? In this building, in Trump Tower. I love China. People say, “Oh, you don’t like China?”

No, I love them. But their leaders are much smarter than our leaders, and we can’t sustain ourself with that. There’s too much – it’s like – it’s like take the New England Patriots and Tom Brady and have them play your high school football team. That’s the difference between China’s leaders and our leaders.

They are ripping us. We are rebuilding China. We’re rebuilding many countries. China, you go there now, roads, bridges, schools, you never saw anything like it. They have bridges that make the George Washington Bridge look like small potatoes. And they’re all over the place.

We have all the cards, but we don’t know how to use them. We don’t even know that we have the cards, because our leaders don’t understand the game. We could turn off that spigot by charging them tax until they behave properly.

Trump is now in the midst of playing these very cards. He is indeed “charging them (China) tax until they behave properly,” most recently raising tariffs on $200 billion of Chinese imports to 25%.

And while the idea is to hurt China’s economy to coerce it into changing its unfair trade practices, the tariffs will also hurt US businesses and consumers. And so far, it hasn’t changed China’s behavior, with the country instead imposing retaliatory tariffs and Chinese leadership signaling it is prepared to dig in for the long haul.

And it’s not just China: Trump has repeatedly used tariffs or merely the threat of tariffs as a way of increasing US leverage in negotiations. He imposed steel and aluminum tariffs on numerous US trading partners before slowly rolling them back, country by country. Most recently he used tariffs to try and convince Mexico to take more action to reduce migrant flows to the US.

Now they’re going militarily. They’re building a military island in the middle of the South China sea. A military island. Now, our country could never do that because we’d have to get environmental clearance, and the environmentalist wouldn’t let our country – we would never build in an ocean. They built it in about one year, this massive military port.

They’re building up their military to a point that is very scary. You have a problem with ISIS. You have a bigger problem with China.

And, in my opinion, the new China, believe it or not, in terms of trade, is Mexico.

Again, China & Mexico at the fore.

So this man tells me about the manufacturing. I say, “That’s a terrible story. I hate to hear it.”

But I have another one, Ford.

So Mexico takes a company, a car company that was going to build in Tennessee, rips it out. Everybody thought the deal was dead. Reported it in the Wall Street Journal recently. Everybody thought it was a done deal. It’s going in and that’s going to be it, going into Tennessee. Great state, great people.

All of a sudden, at the last moment, this big car manufacturer, foreign, announces they’re not going to Tennessee. They’re gonna spend their $1 billion in Mexico instead. Not good.

Now, Ford announces a few weeks ago that Ford is going to build a $2.5 billion car and truck and parts manufacturing plant in Mexico. $2.5 billion, it’s going to be one of the largest in the world. Ford. Good company.

So I announced that I’m running for president. I would.. one of the early things I would do, probably before I even got in – and I wouldn’t even use – you know, I have – I know the smartest negotiators in the world. I know the good ones. I know the bad ones. I know the overrated ones.

You get a lot of them that are overrated. They’re not good. They think they are. They get good stories, because the newspapers get buffaloed. But they’re not good.

But I know the best negotiators in the world, and I put them one for each country. Believe me, folks. We will do very, very well, very, very well.

But I wouldn’t even waste my time with this one. I would call up the head of Ford, who I know. If I was president, I’d say, “Congratulations. I understand that you’re building a nice $2.5 billion car factory in Mexico and that you’re going to take your cars and sell them to the United States zero tax, just flow them across the border.”

And you say to yourself, “How does that help us,” right? “How does that help us? Where is that good”? It’s not.

So I would say, “Congratulations. That’s the good news. Let me give you the bad news. Every car and every truck and every part manufactured in this plant that comes across the border, we’re going to charge you a 35-percent tax, and that tax is going to be paid simultaneously with the transaction, and that’s it.

Trump has had a mixed record of success in keeping manufacturing plants in the US or bringing them back from Mexico – some have indeed expanded operations in the US, while others continue to shutter US plants and move some operations to Mexico and other countries with cheaper labor.

But Trump has indeed picked up the phone to call major car company CEOs. Just this past March, he called GM’s CEO to protest an Ohio plant closure.

He hasn’t, though, levied tariffs on US companies that outsource operations to Mexico.

Now, here’s what is going to happen. If it’s not me in the position, it’s one of these politicians that we’re running against, you know, the 400 people that we’re (inaudible). And here’s what’s going to happen. They’re not so stupid. They know it’s not a good thing, and they may even be upset by it. But then they’re going to get a call from the donors or probably from the lobbyist for Ford and say, “You can’t do that to Ford, because Ford takes care of me and I take care of you, and you can’t do that to Ford.”

And guess what? No problem. They’re going to build in Mexico. They’re going to take away thousands of jobs. It’s very bad for us.

So under President Trump, here’s what would happen:

The head of Ford will call me back, I would say within an hour after I told them the bad news. But it could be he’d want to be cool, and he’ll wait until the next day. You know, they want to be a little cool.

And he’ll say, “Please, please, please.” He’ll beg for a little while, and I’ll say, “No interest.” Then he’ll call all sorts of political people, and I’ll say, “Sorry, fellas. No interest,” because I don’t need anybody’s money. It’s nice. I don’t need anybody’s money.

I’m using my own money. I’m not using the lobbyists. I’m not using donors. I don’t care. I’m really rich. And by the way, I’m not even saying that in a – that’s the kind of mindset, that’s the kind of thinking you need for this country.

So – because we got to make the country rich. It sounds crass. Somebody said, “Oh, that’s crass.” It’s not crass.

We got $18 trillion in debt. We got nothing but problems.

The further we get into Trump’s speech, the more it seems we arrive at issues and positions that Trump has not pursued as steadfastly. Unlike his laser-eyed focus on trade issues and illegal immigration, Trump hasn’t made tackling the national debt a focus of his presidency

The national debt has already ballooned to $22 trillion under his presidency and is projected to continue rising.

We got a military that needs equipment all over the place. We got nuclear weapons that are obsolete.

We’ve got nothing. We’ve got Social Security that’s going to be destroyed if somebody like me doesn’t bring money into the country. All these other people want to cut the hell out of it. I’m not going to cut it at all; I’m going to bring money in, and we’re going to save it.

But here’s what’s going to happen:

After I’m called by 30 friends of mine who contributed to different campaigns, after I’m called by all of the special interests and by the – the donors and by the lobbyists – and they have zero chance at convincing me, zero – I’ll get a call the next day from the head of Ford. He’ll say. “Please reconsider,” I’ll say no.

He’ll say, “Mr. President, we’ve decided to move the plant back to the United States, and we’re not going to build it in Mexico.” That’s it. They have no choice. They have no choice.

It hasn’t been that simple. But this is how Trump repeatedly tried to sell his approach to some of the most pernicious problems the US is facing: by arguing the solution is actually much simpler than it seems and that he’s the man to fix the problem.

This underscores the problem Trump is going to have in running for re-election in 2020. Explaining why he didn’t make good on some of his loftiest promises and why his “I alone can fix it” mentality hasn’t worked.

There are hundreds of things like that. I’ll give you another example.

Saudi Arabia, they make $1 billion a day. $1 billion a day. I love the Saudis. Many are in this building. They make a billion dollars a day. Whenever they have problems, we send over the ships. We say “we’re gonna protect.” What are we doing? They’ve got nothing but money.

If the right person asked them, they’d pay a fortune. They wouldn’t be there except for us.

And believe me, you look at the border with Yemen. You remember Obama a year ago, Yemen was a great victory. Two weeks later, the place was blown up. Everybody got out – and they kept our equipment.

They always keep our equipment. We ought to send used equipment, right? They always keep our equipment. We ought to send some real junk, because, frankly, it would be – we ought to send our surplus. We’re always losing this gorgeous brand-new stuff.

But look at that border with Saudi Arabia. Do you really think that these people are interested in Yemen? Saudi Arabia without us is gone. They’re gone.

The case Trump is making here is consistent with Trump’s argument for increased burden sharing from key US allies.

But it strikes a discordant note with Trump’s handling of the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi at the hands of Saudi agents. Despite the CIA concluding that the murder was ordered by the Saudi Crown Prince, Trump has refused to hold Saudi Arabia to account.

And I’m the one that made all of the right predictions about Iraq. You know, all of these politicians that I’m running against now – it’s so nice to say I’m running as opposed to if I run, if I run. I’m running.

But all of these politicians that I’m running against now, they’re trying to disassociate. I mean, you looked at Bush, it took him five days to answer the question on Iraq. He couldn’t answer the question. He didn’t know. I said, “Is he intelligent?”

It didn’t take long for Trump to go negative on his opponents and begin flinging insults.

Trump’s attack on an opponent’s intelligence is continuing to echo today, with Trump taking to attack former Vice President Joe Biden, the Democratic front-runner, as a “low IQ individual.” Now, though, Trump is echoing foreign despots such as North Korean leader Kim Jong Un who put out a statement calling Biden a “fool of low IQ.”

Then I looked at Rubio. He was unable to answer the question, is Iraq a good thing or bad thing? He didn’t know. He couldn’t answer the question.

How are these people gonna lead us? How are we gonna – how are we gonna go back and make it great again? We can’t. They don’t have a clue. They can’t lead us. They can’t. They can’t even answer simple questions. It was terrible.

But Saudi Arabia is in big, big trouble. Now, thanks to fracking and other things, the oil is all over the place. And I used to say it, there are ships at sea, and this was during the worst crisis, that were loaded up with oil, and the cartel kept the price up, because, again, they were smarter than our leaders. They were smarter than our leaders.

There is so much wealth out there that can make our country so rich again, and therefore make it great again. Because we need money. We’re dying. We’re dying. We need money. We have to do it. And we need the right people.

So Ford will come back. They’ll all come back. And I will say this, this is going to be an election, in my opinion, that’s based on competence.

Somebody said to me the other day, a reporter, a very nice reporter, “But, Mr. Trump, you’re not a nice person.”

That’s true. But actually I am. I think I am a nice person. People that know me, like me. Does my family like me? I think so, right. Look at my family. I’m proud of my family.

By the way, speaking of my family, Melania, Barron, Kai, Donnie, Don, Vanessa, Tiffany, Evanka did a great job. Did she do a great job?

Great. Jared, Laura and Eric, I’m very proud of my family. They’re a great family.

So the reporter said to me the other day, “But, Mr. Trump, you’re not a nice person. How can you get people to vote for you?”

I said, “I don’t know.” I said, “I think that number one, I am a nice person. I give a lot of money away to charities and other things. I think I’m actually a very nice person.”

But, I said, “This is going to be an election that’s based on competence, because people are tired of these nice people. And they’re tired of being ripped off by everybody in the world. And they’re tired of spending more money on education than any nation in the world per capita, than any nation in the world, and we are 26th in the world, 25 countries are better than us in education. And some of them are like third world countries. But we’re becoming a third world country, because of our infrastructure, our airports, our roads, everything. So one of the things I did, and I said, you know what I’ll do. I’ll do it. Because a lot of people said, “He’ll never run. Number one, he won’t want to give up his lifestyle.”

They’re right about that, but I’m doing it.

Number two, I’m a private company, so nobody knows what I’m worth. And the one thing is that when you run, you have to announce and certify to all sorts of governmental authorities your net worth.

So I said, “That’s OK.” I’m proud of my net worth. I’ve done an amazing job.

I started off – thank you – I started off in a small office with my father in Brooklyn and Queens, and my father said – and I love my father. I learned so much. He was a great negotiator. I learned so much just sitting at his feet playing with blocks listening to him negotiate with subcontractors. But I learned a lot.

But he used to say, “Donald, don’t go into Manhattan. That’s the big leagues. We don’t know anything about that. Don’t do it.”

I said, “I gotta go into Manhattan. I gotta build those big buildings. I gotta do it, Dad. I’ve gotta do it.”

And after four or five years in Brooklyn, I ventured into Manhattan and did a lot of great deals – the Grand Hyatt Hotel. I was responsible for the convention center on the west side. I did a lot of great deals, and I did them early and young. And now I’m building all over the world, and I love what I’m doing.

Trump’s ability to sell himself as a wildly successful multi-billionaire businessman was central to his success with voters. But while Trump here frames himself as successful despite his father’s misgivings, the truth is Trump was successful in large part thanks to his father.

Trump would admit later in the campaign that he received a “small” $1 million loan from his father, but even that doesn’t come close to Fred Trump’s support for his son.

The New York Times revealed last year that Trump received today’s equivalent of more than $413 million from his father. And then there are the times, the paper reported, that Trump’s father bailed him out, like when he bought $3.5 million in chips from his struggling Atlantic City casino.

But they all said, a lot of the pundits on television, “Well, Donald will never run, and one of the main reasons is he’s private and he’s probably not as successful as everybody thinks.”

So I said to myself, you know, nobody’s ever going to know unless I run, because I’m really proud of my success. I really am.I’ve employed – I’ve employed tens of thousands of people over my lifetime. That means medical. That means education. That means everything.

So a large accounting firm and my accountants have been working for months, because it’s big and complex, and they’ve put together a statement, a financial statement, just a summary. But everything will be filed eventually with the government, and we don’t need extensions or anything. We’ll be filing it right on time. We don’t need anything.

And it was even reported incorrectly yesterday, because they said, “He had assets of $9 billion.” So I said “No, that’s the wrong number. That’s the wrong number. Not assets.”

So they put together this. And before I say it, I have to say this. I made it the old-fashioned way. It’s real estate. You know, it’s real estate.

It’s labor, and it’s unions good and some bad and lots of people that aren’t in unions, and it’s all over the place and building all over the world.

And I have assets – big accounting firm, one of the most highly respected – 9 billion 240 million dollars.

And I have liabilities of about $500 million. That’s long-term debt, very low interest rates.

In fact, one of the big banks came to me and said, “Donald, you don’t have enough borrowings. Could we loan you $4 billion”? I said, “I don’t need it. I don’t want it. And I’ve been there. I don’t want it.”

But in two seconds, they give me whatever I wanted. So I have a total net worth, and now with the increase, it’ll be well-over $10 billion. But here, a total net worth of – net worth, not assets, not – a net worth, after all debt, after all expenses, the greatest assets – Trump Tower, 1290 Avenue of the Americas, Bank of America building in San Francisco, 40 Wall Street, sometimes referred to as the Trump building right opposite the New York – many other places all over the world.

So the total is $8,737,540,00.

Trump has been known to inflate his net worth and despite the precision of the figure, independent analysts at Bloomberg and Forbes have estimated that Trump’s net worth is closer to $3 billion.

Now I’m not doing that…

I’m not doing that to brag, because you know what? I don’t have to brag. I don’t have to, believe it or not.

I’m doing that to say that that’s the kind of thinking our country needs. We need that thinking. We have the opposite thinking.

We have losers. We have losers. We have people that don’t have it. We have people that are morally corrupt. We have people that are selling this country down the drain.

So I put together this statement, and the only reason I’m telling you about it today is because we really do have to get going, because if we have another three or four years – you know, we’re at $8 trillion now. We’re soon going to be at $20 trillion.

As mentioned earlier, under Trump, the national debt has already ballooned to $22 trillion and Trump hasn’t done anything to slow its rise.

According to the economists – who I’m not big believers in, but, nevertheless, this is what they’re saying – that $24 trillion – we’re very close – that’s the point of no return. $24 trillion. We will be there soon. That’s when we become Greece. That’s when we become a country that’s unsalvageable. And we’re gonna be there very soon. We’re gonna be there very soon.

So, just to sum up, I would do various things very quickly. I would repeal and replace the big lie, Obamacare.

I would build a great wall, and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me, and I’ll build them very inexpensively, I will build a great, great wall on our southern border. And I will have Mexico pay for that wall.

There are few issues more closely associated with Trump than his promise to build a border wall on the US-Mexico border and make Mexico pay for it. The President has not yet made good on that promise.

No new border barriers have been erected by the federal government where none previously existed and Mexico remains steadfast in its refusal to fund the border wall.

After failing to secure funds for new border wall construction from Congress, Trump turned to more drastic action: signing a national emergency declaration to divert other funds to border wall construction.

“Build the Wall” remains the most recognizable chant at Trump rallies, but the campaign – in an effort to sell renovations of existing border fencing as a promise kept – has sought to get another slogan to catch on: “Finish the wall.”

Nobody would be tougher on ISIS than Donald Trump. Nobody.

Trump made good on his promise to destroy ISIS’ so-called caliphate in Iraq and Syria. US-led coalition airstrikes against ISIS in Syria increased in 2017 after Trump came into office and ISIS has now lost all its territory in Iraq and Syria. That is a victory Trump has already been touting on the campaign trail. But that doesn’t mean the US is done fighting ISIS – thousands of its fighters have gone underground but remain active in Iraq and Syria and the terrorist group continues to carry out attacks in Afghanistan and several African countries.

I will find – within our military, I will find the General Patton or I will find General MacArthur, I will find the right guy. I will find the guy that’s going to take that military and make it really work. Nobody, nobody will be pushing us around.

I will stop Iran from getting nuclear weapons. And we won’t be using a man like Secretary Kerry that has absolutely no concept of negotiation, who’s making a horrible and laughable deal, who’s just being tapped along as they make weapons right now, and then goes into a bicycle race at 72 years old, and falls and breaks his leg. I won’t be doing that. And I promise I will never be in a bicycle race. That I can tell you.

I will immediately terminate President Obama’s illegal executive order on immigration, immediately.

Fully support and back up the Second Amendment.

Trump has been and remains popular with the National Rifle Association.

Now, it’s very interesting. Today I heard it. Through stupidity, in a very, very hard core prison, interestingly named Clinton, two vicious murderers, two vicious people escaped, and nobody knows where they are. And a woman was on television this morning, and she said, “You know, Mr. Trump,” and she was telling other people, and I actually called her, and she said, “You know, Mr. Trump, I always was against guns. I didn’t want guns. And now since this happened” – it’s up in the prison area – “my husband and I are finally in agreement, because he wanted the guns. We now have a gun on every table. We’re ready to start shooting.”

I said, “Very interesting.”

So protect the Second Amendment.

End Common Core. Common Core should – it is a disaster. Bush is totally in favor of Common Core. I don’t see how he can possibly get the nomination. He’s weak on immigration. He’s in favor of Common Core. How the hell can you vote for this guy? You just can’t do it. We have to end – education has to be local.

Rebuild the country’s infrastructure.

Infrastructure week at the White House has become more punchline than agenda item during Trump’s presidency, with every attempt to focus on the issue derailed by controversies of the President’s own making. Most recently, Trump canceled a meeting with House Democrats to discuss infrastructure proposals over Democrats’ ongoing investigations into his administration.

Nobody can do that like me. Believe me. It will be done on time, on budget, way below cost, way below what anyone ever thought.

I look at the roads being built all over the country, and I say I can build those things for one-third. What they do is unbelievable, how bad.

You know, we’re building on Pennsylvania Avenue, the Old Post Office, we’re converting it into one of the world’s great hotels. It’s gonna be the best hotel in Washington, D.C. We got it from the General Services Administration in Washington. The Obama administration. We got it. It was the most highly sought after – or one of them, but I think the most highly sought after project in the history of General Services. We got it. People were shocked, Trump got it.

Well, I got it for two reasons. Number one, we’re really good. Number two, we had a really good plan. And I’ll add in the third, we had a great financial statement. Because the General Services, who are terrific people, by the way, and talented people, they wanted to do a great job. And they wanted to make sure it got built.

So we have to rebuild our infrastructure, our bridges, our roadways, our airports. You come into La Guardia Airport, it’s like we’re in a third world country. You look at the patches and the 40-year-old floor. They throw down asphalt, and they throw.

You look at these airports, we are like a third world country. And I come in from China and I come in from Qatar and I come in from different places, and they have the most incredible airports in the world. You come to back to this country and you have LAX, disaster. You have all of these disastrous airports. We have to rebuild our infrastructure.

Save Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security without cuts. Have to do it.

Get rid of the fraud. Get rid of the waste and abuse, but save it. People have been paying it for years. And now many of these candidates want to cut it. You save it by making the United States, by making us rich again, by taking back all of the money that’s being lost.

Renegotiate our foreign trade deals.

Reduce our $18 trillion in debt, because, believe me, we’re in a bubble. We have artificially low interest rates. We have a stock market that, frankly, has been good to me, but I still hate to see what’s happening. We have a stock market that is so bloated.

Be careful of a bubble because what you’ve seen in the past might be small potatoes compared to what happens. So be very, very careful.

And strengthen our military and take care of our vets. So, so important.

Sadly, the American dream is dead. But if I get elected president I will bring it back bigger and better and stronger than ever before, and we will make America great again.

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Hi! I'm going to get a used car next month. I've had my permit for over a year so that means I have to take the written test again. I'm planning on taking it this month, then getting the car next month, then a few months later taking the road test. I have to practice driving in the car that I'm gonna get so my question is, can I get insurance on the car without having a license yet? My parents don't drive, so I cant get on their insurance. So what do you think is the best thing for me to do and what would be the cheapest? Thanks in advance to anyone kind enough to answer my question.:D""

Do any car insurance companies do insurance for one month?

Hi So I only want car insurance for one month cause I want to use my car for work purposes (usually it's off road). I have 5 years no claims but for some reason companies are charging like 250 for the month when it'd usually only cost me 700 for the year!? Does anyone recommend any companies that don't charge as much? Thanks in advance

Is it possible to cancel car insurance mid policy?

In the UK. I am about to buy a new car and want to cancel insurance on my old car and get insurance from a different (cheaper) company for my new car. Is this possible?

About how much does a car alarm save on auto insurance?

I know this depends but just give me a GUESS. or how about; use yourself as an example. How much do you save, or would you save, if you had a car alarm?""

Whats the rough cost of insurance for a 17 yr old new driver?

im looking to buy a car like a corsa or 306. summin like that but just wanted to know what the cost of insurance will roughly be. and no dont tell me to 'get a quote' caus you need like all the details and full licence etc, that i dont have yet""

""Does anyone know where to get cheap car insurance (Ontario,Canada)?

My husband and I just bought a car today and we have not applied for our insurance yet we are planning on applying tomorrow(if there not open) then Monday. Does anyone know of a good insurance company we just had a baby 2 months ago so we are really trying to save money if anyone knows a good place would you please let us know. Thank you very much.

rhode island insurance broker license

rhode island insurance broker license

Would it be a good idea for insurers to give a % of income they give out in claims?

We all look for the cheapest premium, but we have no idea how they would perform if you had to claim. I heard somewhere that car insurers give out much more that household insurance (or vice versa) and can't understand why.""

About how much will ensureance cost me?

Heyy ya'll, I'm 15 (ill be 16 next month) and I'm saving to buy a car next year! My mom says since I'm young they're going to charge me more for insurance, so what I want to know is about how much will they charge me a month since ill be 17 when I buy the the car?""

What is the fastest and best looking insurance group 4 or 5 car i can get?

looking for a newer car to buy that is not just quick but looks good.

Insurance on a 2000 mustang.?

I'm 18 and have always wanted a mustang. I have heard insurance is high on them and would like to get an idea on what,I'll have to pay for insurance on it? Can any one give me an idea on about what the cost of insurance would be?""

Electric Car insurance and teen drivers.....?

How much does insurance go up if you add a 17 year old with a learner's permit to your plan. I live in Florida and have Electric Car Insurance.

Why would insurance for a 50cc cost 500?

its a 2007 50cc motorbike which i would like to insure in aberdeen, kept in a garage and locked. im 16 and have passed my cbt but not full lisence, the cheapest quote i could get was 480, and that was third party cover only. is their anything i can do to lower the cost and where can i get a cheaper quote http://www.pistonheads.com/sales/1898234.htm < the bike""

How to get the best quotes in car insurance?

i am looking for the best US quotes in car insurance. Some free service that provides some tips and tricks to get good deals on car insurance.

What is the cost of the insurance for the car i want ?

I want a Suzuki Ignis 1.5 sport im just about to start driving wants the insurance going to cost ?

Insurance: Average yearly mileage exceeded?

When I brought my car insurance (after being without a car for many years), one of the questions was average yearly mileage , I input 12,000 thinking that that figure was ...show more""

""If I am married, do I have to add my husband to my car insurance?""

I live in Dallas, TX and am trying to get full coverage on a vehicle thai I am still paying on. I am the only one who drives the vehicle to work and back, adding my husband makes my monthly payment ridiculous because he has had an accident and 2 tickets. Do I have to add him on my policy? Some people say yes and some say no, I am confused....Also, does anyone know of the most affordable insurance in the Dallas area?""

What is the point of insurance?

I've just graduated and will be going out into the real world now, and a question I've had for years is why people seem to get insurance? To me it makes more sense to save the money you would have been paying myself instead. Am I wrong here?""

What is the best cheap car insurance qoutes in the uk!!?

pleas help!!

""Does price of car insurance go up, down, stay the same, after getting G licence?""

I'm in Ontario, Canada and am going for my G licence in July (I'm 26, if that makes any difference?). Right now I'm an occasional driver on my parents insurance and plan to stay that way after I get my G. Right now my insurance is 90 per month. I want to save up for enough insurance for 12 months so when I move out it's out of the way for one year. Anyway, does anyone know if the price of insurance goes up, down, or stays the same after getting your full G licence? I kind of want to figure out how much I should save up for the full year by knowing how much it'll be monthly. I plan on going in and talking to them, but I wont be able to for a few days...just curious if anyone can basically give me a heads up. Thanks.""

Where can hiv positive people look for individual health insurance?

if you're hiv positive and are currently covered with an insurance policy, but will be changing jobs where group coverage is not an option, what are your options for health insurance? are hiv positive people stuck in their jobs for life just to keep insurance? from what i've found, public insurance benefits only apply when you're dirt poor and have no home.""

Insurance?

My insurance for Maruti swift gets expired within a week. I payed some Rs13,000 an year back. Now want to renew it.so how much will i have to pay for it. i once claimed insurance for some damage in car for around Rs 6000. Can any one tell me about this?""

How do you go about getting insurance for a teenge driver (17)...that will be cheap..were only looking 4 liabi

Only looking for liability insurance but less thatn 200 a month

Whats a cheap car insurance In nj?

For a person with a new lisence thats 18 years old

About health insurance?

i don't have a health insurance and my job doesn't provide me one i had a car accident and i owe around 3,000 dollars on my own hospital visit i didn't injure another car if i get an insurance do you think they will pay for my health debts???""

It is better to get my insurance or let my fathers insurance go up?

i got a speeding ticket and got traffic school from the court,the problem is my car and insurance is register under my fathers name so i cant take the test without an insurance in my name i am 17 yrs,so is it cheaper to get an insurance in my name at 17 or pay the ticket and cancel the scheduled court date for the traffic school (if possible) and let my fathers insurance go up about 10-15%?""

What's the cheapest car insurance rates?

I wanna know the absolute cheapest car insurance someone you know pays and what their life situation is. I'm just curious where I would have to be in life in order to get the cheapest ...show more

How many babies will citizens be permitted to have once costs are fixed through insurance mediums?

How many babies will citizens be permitted to have once costs are fixed through insurance mediums?

How much is teen car insurance?

how much would it be for teen car insurance? im a 17 y/o female in Long Island, NY good grades and will be taking the defensive course first. thanks""

Insurance For My Daughters Scooter?

My 16 yr old daughter is being stupidly high prices for her scooter insurance - she has a 49cc and has past her CBT test. can anyone suggest a company who specialise in young riders ?

Where i can i find affordable eye insurance? is it worth paying monthly in comparison to the $$ at checkout?

Where i can i find affordable eye insurance? is it worth paying monthly in comparison to the $$ at checkout?

""Does anyone know an insurance company that insures parts of the body i.e. hands, legs, etc?""

I've always said that people that use certain parts of their body to make a living should get that part insured. I've been looking for companies that do that but can't seem to find any. I know celebrities do it, but commoners should be able to also.""

rhode island insurance broker license

rhode island insurance broker license

What does university health insurance cover?

I have the insurance through school, which is first health insurance. The physicians I want to visit are covered in the insurance network, but I'm not sure what the fees will be. Does anyone have similar insurance, if so, please let me know what to expect. Thanks!""

How much would insurance cost me on a 2008 Mustang GT?

I'm 17, I've never had a ticket. If I were to get it under my mom's name with me as a driver, how much do you think it'd be?""

How much would my car insurance be on a 2008 Chrysler 300?

I am 20 years old and still live at home i work full time and go to school at night and i would like to get a new car, but everyone keeps telling me insurance will be to much for me? and also how much of a down payment would i need on a 17,000 Chrysler 300.Can i pay monthly or with insurance or do i pay once a year plz need helppppp""

""I am 18 years old and have 6 points on my driving license, will my insurance cost go down after a year?

I currently aren't on any insurance policy!

Can the insurance company really auction off my car?!?

there was a wreck. they towed my car. i thought i would get it back. my insurance claims guy emailed me this-- Your vehicle is currently on its way or has arrived at a salvage yard in Defuniak Springs. An employee with Progressive will be inspecting it today or tomorrow to determine the value. That employee will then be in touch with you to discuss how we can settle your vehicle claim as a total loss. The vehicle is then sold at a salvage auction; it is not returned to Progressive or to you. We will be able to discuss this in further detail after your vehicle is inspected. i worked and paid for this car. its old but i want it back, the front is wrecked but its mine. what can i do?""

""Could $5,000 provide healthcare for a family?""

If this credit becomes reality, doesn't it seem logical that a major healthcare provider would put together an affordable health insurance package for the credit amount and market the ...show more""

Staying in California for 2 months. Is it worth it to get a motorcycle?

I'm from Indiana, am over 21, and have a valid Indiana drivers license. I'm going to be staying in California for 6-8 weeks and would like some sort of transportation. I'm considering buying a motorcycle or scooter but am not sure if it will be worth it considering the hassle of registration, insurance, etc. Then I would sell it again before I go back to Indiana. My brother has offered to give me motorcycle lessons before I leave and I could get my Motorcycle learner's permit from the local BMV. Does anyone have experience with titles, registrations, insurance etc and could tell me if it would be worth the hassle?""

Car insurance- if your vehicle is stolen do your rates skyrocket?

my car was jacked at a gas station, are my rates gonna go way up?""

Can a 16year old drive an 18years old car if the 18year old is on the parents insurance with statefarm?

The 16 year old will be on the parents insurance as well

Car accident. My fault. And I have no insurance?

I was in a car accident recently. there was not really any damage to either vehicle, I rear ended someone. the police report was filed and the police told me that the person I rear ended wants to claim that she has had injury to her back (which is ridiculous because we were only going 5 mph). There is no way I could have really hurt her, plus she was walking around fine when the report was being filed. What can she get from me and how much can she get? I think I'm going to be retaining a lawyer for this. I'm just really worried that the BS medical thing she is claiming might end up costing thousands and I can't afford to pay that much. thanks.""

Will my car insurance go up if I was side swapped while driving a friends car?

I was 100% not at fault. We called cops, etc... But my question is will my personal car insurance go up? I was driving my friends car..""

How much would my car insurance be?(State farm Insurance)?

I'm a teen driver, and ill be 16 years old when i get my license. i'm a 3.0 + gpa or higher student and have had no issues with the law.i drive a 1997 mazda protege with a clean title (idk if that helps) I live in Portland,Oregon Car is 1997""

Wht car insurance is better for full coverage and cheaper..... ?

car insurance help....

My car was taken to the compound on friday in the uk when the driver was found to have no insurance.....?

However i have got insurance and so when i go to the station to have the form stamped so i can go to the compound and collect my car back, The police tell me i have to produce my licence as well...problem is i cant find it.. so i go to dvla internet site and order form to get a new licence....But this can take 3 weeks to come back and unfortunately the car gets crushed in 2 weeks, But the law says i can continue driving even tho i havent got my licence card ...because i do have a licence but its been lost and im waiting on my new one coming.A Please dont answer if you are only speculating on what you think you know i havent got time to read brain dead answers from all you dick eds on here. Nor do i want your personal opinion on the situation as it is a Question.. put on a Question Board wanting an answer...Not a message board asking for your opinion so use the board as it should be used and stick to the rules...answer the question ...if you cant ...then dont waste my time and yours""

Can I have car insurance from California in Maryland?

I spoke to a representative of the car insurance from California and she said that it was fine. And that she had many clients from all over the nation. Does anyone know more about this? Thanks!

Does anyone know where i could get a car for my driving test? I need insurance as well. I am 16 years old?

I am going to go get my licence. I am 16 years old in California. The problem is, i don't have a car. Please don't ask me what i'm going to do with my licence if i dont have a car (it's a long story). I need a car i can take with me to do my road test. The DMV also needs proof of insurance. Please tell me where i could get a car and get the proof of insurance. Thanks!!!!!!!!""

How much would the insurance on this car be?

It's a 2007 Toyota solara silver with 63000 miles on it...how would full converge be per month? Just an estimate.

Cheapest car insurance?

I'm trying to insure my first car. It's a Rover Metro SI 1.4 auto. I'm 20 years old + am still driving on a provisional lisense. I've held this lisense for 1 year. I'd do around 5000 miles a year when I pass + want third party as the car is only worth 350. I'm also a lady as I know that makes some insurers cheaper. I've tried moneysupermarket.com + confused.com + Quinn comes up the cheapest with a deposit of 109 + then 10 months at 43. However both sites have a big list of insurers that they could not provide quotes for. Does anyone know, or is anyone with a cheaper insurer than Quinn Direct? I live in England, so no American insurers thanks :)""

Which one is the cheapest auto insurance?

I have two vehicles I want full coverage insurance where can i get cheapest insurance?

Affordable maternity insurance?

Affordable maternity insurance?

Insuring A Range Rover For An 18 Year Old?

Ive been driving for a year now, and i have 1 year no claims bonus. (aged 18 and male). I am going to university for three years, and for the first of those three years, im NOT on the insurance. How much do you think a Rangerover sport (second hand costing about 9,000) would be costing me in UK insurance third-party? my current car was fitted with this mileage thing, which also lessens the amount i pay (NOT A BALCK BOX).. but roughly do you know? thanks.""

Will my parents' insurance rates go up?

I recently got 2 traffic tickets (1 for speeding and 1 for disobeying a traffic control device). However, the car I am driving is registered under my parents' policy and I am not the primary driver for it. Will my parent's insurance rates go up because of this, or will this only affect my driving record?""

I Need Car Insurance Help?

I am about to buy a new car and will be 17 maybe 18 when i get it. Its a 350Z so it has to be 6 cylinder which means its a sports car. How much will it raise my insurance.

Can I rent a car without insurance in Texas?

I haven't had a car for awhile but manage to get around easily. However my main ride source goes out of town for a month on Tuesday. I booked a rental through Enterprise online for use until main ride returns. Having not owned a car for awhile, I have no insurance, so my question is: will enterprise still allow me the rental without having personal insurance? I know they have insurance to purchase at time of rental, but I need to know if I will be denied rental without my own insurance. Please know what your talking about and be sure of your answer! It's very frustrating when people who don't know the answer respond with inaccurate information.""

What are the best private health insurance plans in Ca. & Florida?....And which state is more affordable?

What are the best private health insurance plans in Ca. & Florida?....And which state is more affordable?

rhode island insurance broker license

rhode island insurance broker license

""Does anyone know of an auto insurance provider that does not require a credit check in Vancouver, WA?

I switched from Progressive to Allstate online about a month ago. I started the policy and paid the premium. Now I get a letter from Allstate saying they are unable to carry a policy for me due to my poor credit. I'm angry and totally disagree with my credit score having anything to do with my driving ability. I refuse to do business with any company that uses a credit score to determine auto insurance rates or availability.

Can I own a car and have someone else insure it?

Ok I'm 19 and currently own my own car and the pink slip is under my name but I know if I get insurance right now it will be high so I was wondering if my dad can insure it while I drive it under my name. I live in California and my dad has State Farm. Thank you.

What company offers the cheapest motorcycle insurance in Toronto?

I Want to buy a motorcycle around $ 5000 and wondering how much would be the insurance for the following motorcycles 2006-2009 Honda CBR RR 600 2006-2009 Honda CBR 125 How can I be able to get discount on my premium. I have a full M licence with no accidents for like 2 years. I live on Dufferin st close to bloor and I am 25 years old male Serious replies only please because having a car is too expensive for me.

How much is it to insure a lancer evo IX MR?

Im 18 your old young man trying to figure out how much it is for insurance generally for the car for a guy my age. Also is the fq400 an import?

How can I prevent this girl from completely taking advantage of my insurance company?

A few nights ago I accidentally brushed the side of my neighbor's car with my front bumper (cause she was parked like an idiot as usual). I'm taking full responsibility of it cause it's my fault and I have no problem with that. Initially I was going to pay for the scrape to be compounded out and whatever else was wrong as a result of me hitting it. However, when I spoke to her, she started pointing out a ridiculous amount of things: there's a scratch in addition to the scrape (ok, sure), she says I cracked her light (maybe I did, it's possible) but she's also saying that I caused her tire to pop out and that there's tread missing from it (which makes absolutely no sense because I didn't hit the tire or rim or wheel well at all). Basically, she expects a whole new paint job and a set of tires which is ridiculous for the small amount of damage that was done. I want to make sure she isn't trying to take advantage of my insurance company and cause my rates to skyrocket as a result. The car is a complete piece of sh*t and she doesn't take care of it at all - the paint's dull, the rims are rusted - and I think she's trying to fix these things by making it like they were a result of me hitting her. I have no problem at all taking responsibility for the damage I did, but I do have a problem with her making things up and trying to fix other issues through my insurance company. The last claims representative I spoke with told me that I would not be contacted by the adjuster at all since there is no damage to my car. Since she's going to be talking with the adjuster and I won't, I'm afraid she's going to exaggerate the amount of damage. Should I call my insurance company and tell them this? Will they care? What can I do?""

What is the insurance of Maybach car?

I live in the UK. I don't want sites referred to me, but just want an estimate of how much insurance would be""

Subsidized health insurance for age 55+ in California?

Is there a subsidized health insurance program for people age 55+ in California? I used to live in Massachusetts where my father-in-law has MassHealth insurance coverage. Any program similar to that in California? Thanks!

How to get cheap car insurance?

i want to know that how to get cheap first car insurance in u.k?

How much would insurance cost?

How much would insurance be if I bought a Mustang GT or GT Premium coupe with a 4.6L V8 and 260hp? I'm 15 and in driver's ed, one of the best in class, I make all A's in school, if that matters, and I'd prefer an estimate for liability and full coverage. By the way, I'm a good driver, I'm more concerned with driving smooth than driving fast. I want a Mustang GT because my friend has one and I love it. It would be a 2000-2004 model and I live in Alabama""

17 Year Old Insurance Question..?

What would be the average cost to insure any type of vehicle to a 17 year old foreign male (has no SSN, on a special permit VISA to live in the states)? I have around 12k to spend on the car, so i was looking at a few cars and the 2002 Audi TT (225hp, 6 speed M/T, 2-door sports coupe) seems to be the best car i can get with that money. Now ofcourse, i don't know what the fees are going to be like and it doesn't help that im a foreign student living here because my dad moved here, don't have a SSN/greencard etc (i have a special permit VISA for residence). will this impact my insurance a lot since im not a citizen of the U.S.? and so..how much would it really cost to insure an Audi TT as a 17 year old, honor role student who will complete the driver safety course, have same insurance as family policy, most likely be accident free (for state farm insurance) and have completed the steer clear driver's discount program? and some other general questions, what would be the difference in insurance premiums if instead i chose a 4-door sedan like a Honda Civic (2005)? I tried getting quotes from State Farm (said i was 18 instead), they got me at hte basic plan for $350/month for 2002 Audi TT and $375/month for a Civic 2005. Anyways to reduce that (those prices were with most discounts except the family plan)?""

Does it cost more to insure a car with no airbags?

I was thinking of buying a 1986 mustang gt, which has no airbags, would that affect the cost? I was going to put aftermarket Sparco front seats with 4 point safety harnesses in for safety, also would that decrease the insurance rate since I'd be making it safer? Or is it just dependent on car, age, etc.""

Questions about health insurance.?

I'm trying to get health insurance for myself since I have been to my doctor last week and he looked at my swollen cheek and said that it might be cancer tumor, but they're not sure about it and running a biopsy and will know by end of the week. Now, the health insurance companies are denying me coverage because I told them about the doctor's appointment and now considering the tumor as preexisting condition. I was wondering if I didn't tell them about the tumor and got the insurance and got admitted to a hospital, and the insurance company sues me later on; would that a valid sue or could I actually fight it? I only need the insurance till January since the Affordable Care Act comes out in January in which any preexisting cause goes out the window. Thank You!""

Estimate on how much my car insurance will be?

I'm financing a new (or relatively new) car pretty soon, it's probably going to be a Nissan Altima which is a very safe car and is probably going to be either brand new or no more than 1 - 3 years old. I'm just worried about how much I'm going to be paying for full coverage insurance because I haven't had a car in a couple years thus I haven't had car insurance in a while and when I did, it was only no-fault insurance. Also, I'm young (22) so that will make my insurance high. However, I have a spotless driving record so that should help. I also live in a safe county if that matters. Anyone have a ball-park figure on how much I can expect to be paying, monthly? Thanks.""

Liability car insurance?

I need to know some good places to get liability car insurance for a good price

Does my insurance change when I change my license from one state to another? totally confused!?

I want to change from a Delaware license to a Maryland drivers License. I am on my moms insurance and I pay her every year for keeping me on. This is very confusing. After changing from DE to MD license do I notify the insurance company? Can my rates change? Can I still drive the car registered under her name? Please, any info you can provide is helpful! ! I am doing this to get in state tuition for college""

""Pizza delivery driver insurance in own car, where can I get insurance uk?

I have been offered a job as a pizza delIvery driver but I need to insure my car with business insurance I have tried everywhere but know one does it please Help x

Do car insurance and registration have to be under the same name?

let's say Sally buys a car and it's under her name but gets car insurance under her sister's name. is that okay? or both have to be under Sally's name?

Can you tell me which car insurance is cheap in uk.?

Karamjit singh

I need some help with insurance please?

Hey. I'm getting my 'Learners Licence' in the year of 2014. I own a 1984 Datsun/Nissan 300zx turbo. 2 seat, rwd. I live in abbotsford British Colombia and I just wanted to know how much insurance would cost per year with drivers ed. How much it will cost with my L, N and full licence. Thanks.""

Is there a significant difference in auto insurance rates when males turn 25 years old?

I had a friend who worked in auto insurance for a few months, he said that it is all a myth, which is hard to believe. I live in California, and I wanted to get a nicer car when I'm older but insuance is going to be a killer.""

Cheap insurance for Mustang GT?

I am 21 years old, and its hard to find an affordable insurance rate. Does anyone know of an insurer in Ontario that has very good insurance rates for a Mustang GT and young male drivers?""

Cheapest for motorcycle insurance?

Got a 2000 zx6r ninja today and need insurance what company seems to be the cheapest. I dont need full coverage bought bike cash.

What is a good insurance policy for a motorcyclist?

I'm 17 and I have good grades and a job. Im driving to school and to work. Im geting a ninja 250 cc. I litterally own the motorcycle, I paid in cash from a dealer. Do I need liablity insurance? How about comprehensive? collision? medical? Please, I want to pay an addordable insurance policy. Please give me some good policy rates for a 18 year old. ty""

Cheap auto insurance in miami?

Does anyone know of a cheap auto insurance company in miami? i am 20 years old and i have gotten quotes from Esurance, geico, and progressive. the cheapest was Geico and it was $278 a month for the Basic coverage. I own my car and it is a 2003 Hyundai Tiburon""

Free car insurance quotes?

are these qoutes accurate or could the price they give you actually be lower then what the free quote says?

rhode island insurance broker license

rhode island insurance broker license

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/antique-car-insurance-quotes-dennis-medina/"

[profoundgardenertree-blog]

Ray Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48096

"Ray Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48096

Ray Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48096

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://saleinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Estimated car insurance cost for an 18 year old beginner driver?

I waited until I turned 18 until I went to get my drivers permit. I've had my permit since November 18 2009. I plan to stay on the permit until its expiration date. I'm not sure what car I plan to purchase after that, something affordable (nothing over the top) and that will last quite awhile. Now assuming all that, can any of you share with me what your car insurance payment is monthly, just an estimate of course. And throw in what type of car you have in so I can get a better idea. I'll be 19 at the time I finally get my license. My parents will not be adding me to their insurance, I have to pay for this on my own and I'd like to start putting some money away towards it so that I can make the payments with no problem later on. Are their any other things I can do to lower the cost of my car insurance as well?""

""What would you do, get the used car or new one?""

Okay so ever since years ago I've known that my grandpa has an account for me and his other grand kids for our first car. There is a limit. Now, I went out and picked out the car I wanted. A 2009 Toyota Corolla. Which I can pick any car, new or used as long as it is below the spending limit. (mine is that I picked) But my aunt, (Who is in charge of the money sorta, but will let me get what I want cuz she has no say) Is trying to convince me to get a used car and spend like max 5,000 on it. Her friend's son's friend is selling his car for 1,000. it has 200,000 miles on it and looks like a piece of crud. Needs new tires.. all that stuff. She thinks I should get this car or another used car because mostly all teens get in an accident when they first start driving (I am 18) but so what? Even if I get in an accident in a new of used car, thats what insurance is for! And I got quotes already on my new car how much it would be, It wont be in my name either because it'll be wayy more. So my quesiton is: Would you spend the full amount on the car you want now? Or waste 5grand (or less) on a crap car that will mostly suck away the money from that account (if something happens cuz its so old) She says that in a year or so I can still get the car I want. (I would have enough money) But thats not the point.. I don't see wasting 5grand on a car. And it would be wasting. What do you think? Whats should I do and how can I say no to her idea thanks :)""

Backdates homeowners insurance?r=1268786067?

Can an insurance company back date homeowners insurance?

Do you need a Car Insurance to get a license?

I'm Male 18 yrs old. I don't have a car yet. I finished taking DMV Written Exam. My problem now is the Behind the Wheel. My mom told me if she will include me in her Insurance, it will add her around $400 more. I'm planning to go to a driving school maybe to lessen the amount. My question is, if I would use the car of the Driving School, do I still need to have an Insurance? Any suggestions? Thanks!""

What is a reasonable price for a teen's first car?

I'm hoping to get my license soon, but figure, there isn't a whole lot I can do with it without a car of my own. I'm really not sure how low the prices of cars get without being a piece of junk. Are there decent cars that start in the thousands, or is everything pretty much over ten thousand? What difference does it make if it's used? I'm not looking for a dream vehicle, just something for the next few years to get myself from a to b. The only knowledge I have so far is that my mom's toyota was around $30,000 brand new (and I'm definitely not looking to spend that much), so that's basically what I'm comparing everything else to. Any advice on the basics is greatly appreciated. Thanks!""

What is good to have with car insurance. what features i guess i should say...?

i am 26, drive a 2007 altima 2.5s sedan with 30,000 miles on it. clean driving record and had my license since 17 with zero tickets if that helps. ------------------------------------------------ This is what I am paying with progressive auto: Coverage & Premium Information 2007 Nissa BODILY INJURY & PROPERTY DAMAGE LIABILITY $296.00 BI $50,000 EACH PERSON - $100,000 EACH ACCIDENT PROPERTY DAMAGE LIABILITY - $50,000 EACH ACCIDENT MEDICAL PAYMENTS $5,000 EACH PERSON $20.00 COMPREHENSIVE ACV LESS $500 DEDUCTIBLE $65.00 COLLISION ACV LESS $500 DEDUCTIBLE $336.00 LOAN/LEASE PAYOFF COVERAGE $33.00 25% OF THE ACTUAL CASH VALUE UNINSURED/UNDERINSURED MOTORIST $22.00 $50,000 EACH PERSON - $100,000 EACH ACCIDENT UNINSURED MOTORISTS PROPERTY DAMAGE $3,500 $6.00 ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE $7.00 Premium by Vehicle $785.00 Anti-Fraud Fee $0.90 Total Policy Premium $785.90 -------------------------------------- I think i am paying too much for car insurance?! about $130 A MONTH! Is this just about right or can I get lower better insurance or do i actually need something more?! let me know what you have and how much you pay and how you are covered. thanks""

Where can i find cheap car insurance for young drivers?

Where can i find cheap car insurance for young drivers?

""How good is a life/health insurance agent career, would it be a good choice?""

Hi, I was a mortgage broker for 5 years and at one point I making almost a 6-figure income. Right now things are not that great and my income took a major decrease this year. I am thinking about getting my insurance license but then again I'm not sure if I would make very good money at it like the mortgage industry. This would be something new for me and I am not sure if it is worth it although many agents claim that it's so great and they're incomes are through the roof, not sure if that's true or just HYPE?""

How much would car insurance be for a 17 year old girl.?

I live in michigan, we own our house just a simple house 2 cars. working parents, we have 21st century and i'm trying to do as much research as I can before I make this offer to my parents, I have no car yet i'm wondering how much do you guys think my insurance would cost? please don't send me to another website if you've been in this situation tell me how much you payed and your story(how many cars, insurance company, etc) thank you so much to those who will help! I'm thinking maybe $150 or $200.""

""What is the lowest, best Liability auto Insurance in California ?

I just got a Pt Cruiser that car dealership if offering 70.00 to insure the car however I do need liability insurance any one know of a good web site were I can compare some quotes instead of calling around or talking to a pushy insurance agent ?

What is the average cost for a student possessions insurance policy?

What is the average cost for a student possessions insurance policy?

Best car insurance company in Ontario for new drivers?

Hey Guys, Got my first car! YAY!!!! I was just wondering if you guys can recommend the best car insurance company and rates in Ontario for new drivers? Please let me know. Thanks.""

How can I get heath insurance?

Im 21 college student and just got layed off I havent had health insurance for like 3 years and I need to go to a doctor like a gyno anywayz im going to the social services office to see if I can get like a low cost health insurance from the state or something I live in ct... but if they don't help me how much health insurance is a month? I can't afford more then 50 dollars a month I just got layeoff and I don't like getting help from the state but I really need to see a doctor

When I turn 25 does my car insurance automatically go down or do I have to notify them? (AAA car insurance)?

I heard when you turn 25 the car insurance rates go down a lot, but is it automatic or do I have to tell them?""

6 week car insurance for 18 year old?

I share a car with my twin brother, which means i get the car every other day. My older brother is having a hip replacement so won't be able to drive for 6 weeks. He said i could ...show more""

How much can i sue and get from car insurance for pain and suffering for $6000 worth of medicals?

How much can i sue and get from car insurance for pain and suffering for $6000 worth of medicals?

Do I need to buy auto insurance for my used car dealership?

We are just starting out and wonder if our personal car insurance would cover test drives, or our driving the vehicles. It is a sole proprietorship.""

What to do when a car insurance company refuses to pay?

My vehicle got slammed into while parked at my house. Two older ladies were driving and they took out 3 mailboxes, my neighbor's old truck, his tractor, and then my car. The older ...show more""

How would the motorcycle insurance compare on these 4 bikes?

Ninja 250r Ninja 650r Honda cbr 600 Honda CB599 Hornet (naked) Assuming they are all ridden by the same person, in the same area ect. thanks in advance (Note: Im not looking for number so much as how they would compare to each other)""

How much does canadian car insurance cost for a 20yr old male NEW driver for a used CAR or used SUV?

Just give me an estimate for a car or an suv in canada. Just an estimate. I know its different for all cars and suvs but just give me an idea obviously the differences CANNOT be thousands and its gonna be in a certain range. if u can give me a range fine, give me a range im just a new driver and male, 20. these stupid car insurance companies cant even give me that much its not like im going to be paying 9000$ instead of 300$.""

How much would a typical car insurance cost for a punto? im also a new driver and 20 yrs of age.?

How much would a typical car insurance cost for a punto? im also a new driver and 20 yrs of age.?

For a BMW Mini Cooper Would car insurance be cheap for me?

My dad has an old mini cooper, it must be around 20/25 years old.""

State farm insurance?

recently i got my license and am now added, without charge, to my parents' car insurance. i'm 23 and from texas. my question is, if was to get married, would the company drop me off of the insurance?? i want to know because my parents currenty don't know that i'm planning to get married. i'd really like to know any info pertaining to this...i already called, but couldn't talk to anyone right now, so any knowledge would be great. thanks!!""

When does insurance rates go down?

I been in an accident in 2006 and I was looking for insurance quote for less and I wanted to know if it will lower in 3-5 years. start with a clean slate. Thanks

Can my husband take life insurance out on me without me knowing in the military?

hey my husband is in the military and he has a life insurance policy on him and i only have a small portion of it and everything else goes to his mother but i just recently find out he has life insurance out on me way more than i would get from him and i didnt sign anything so im wondering can he do it without my consent? and can i cancel it?

Ray Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48096

Ray Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48096

What are some reasons why someone would need permanent life insurance?

I dealt with over 150 clients in my career and haven't found a single reason why someone would need permanent life insurance. All my clients have term insurance b/c I don't see why anyone would need life insurance forever. I believe someone needs life insurance at the time when they need it most, which is when they have little savings and lots of debt to pay (such as a mortgage). While I protect the client's income with term life insurance, I also help them save money for retirement by opening IRAs and/or variable annuities or tax-exempt mutual funds. For kid's education, I use either a 529 Plan, Coverdell, or UGMA. For estate planning, I setup trust funds.""

Can you buy/insure a car without a drivers license?

My bf and I are buying another car in November, which will be for my use when I get my full license (I currently only have my G1.) I would like to have it registered and insured in my name. Am I able to do this when I get the car or do I have to put it in his name and change it over when I get my full license? I live in Ontario. Thanks in advance.""

How much would my motorcycle insurance cost?

I am 18 I live in Northern Virginia. I have car insurance with Geico for a 2005 Honda Accord EX. I start college as a freshman in less then 2 weeks. I have no records (accidents, speeding, thefts, etc..) I have a part time job (18 hours a week) I understand that they're are a lot of factors in this but i would just like a rough estimate.""

What is the cheapest auto insurance in NYC?

Currently paying way too much for my auto insurance with Geico.

MICHIGAN NO FAULT INSURANCE?

I was in an accident today and the other person left the scene, cops came and got all of my info... my car is REALLY banged up.... i have michigan no fualt insurance becuase that is all i can afford... a $500 deductible ..what does this mean? how much will my insurance company cover to get my car fixed? thanks""

What is the average cost for replacing a damaged A frame on a vehicle?

My friends son was driving her car and lost control hitting a curb, the right front passenger tire is now bent towards the back. I told her more than likely it is the lower A frame that is bent, my question is what would it cost to fix? She has a 2011 Dodge Caliber and no insurance, her husband and her separated a few months ago left her with no support and she couldn't afford to continue paying the insurance on the vehicle so she is now coming out of pocket. We just need a ballpark figure. Only serious answers please, no obvious dumb answers. Thank you in advance.""

Anyone know about maternity insurance?

I am recently married and my husband and I have been trying for a baby. We just recently added me to his insurance and of course, added maternity coverage to it. We were told that it wouldn't take effect until November 1st. My question is-if I were to get pregnant before November 1st, would the insurance not cover the pregnancy? I have a friend that seems to think if I were to get pregnant before then, if I didn't see a Dr until after November 1st, then it should be okay. Any idea what is correct?""

Gieco insurance rate?

Ok I got a auto quote and I lied on the online form I said I have no tickets and car crashes.I do have some Im 18 years old And If I chose this company will they find the tickets? I did give my social number.

How much does it cost to go for an eye exam in new jersey without insurance?

I want to get my eyes checked and have no insurance.I was wondering how much it would cost? Is lenscrafters good or more expensive? pearl vision?

Has anyone ever heard of Titan auto insurance?

Has anyone ever heard of Titan auto insurance?

How to check online what my car insurance for curtain car will be?

I dont own any car right now. Lets say i want to buy Honda civic for $4000 year 2000. I am 27 and have 4 years driving experience in US, no points. 1. how to check what my insurance will be? 2. how to search the cheapest car insurance on the mkt for beginners like me? Thank you.""

How to terminate my insurance policy?

i've 2 policy insurance, life policy & investing policy. now i have finance problem, i really cannot afford the premium. so i want to terminate either one of these 2 policy. if i terminated it, can i get all back my premium that i've paid during this few years?""

Can a dying person get life insurance?

I found out recently that my terminally ill father-in-law has no life insurance, or only a tiny policy. How can we pay for a funeral?""

Insurance cost for an 87 Fiero?

I'm considering purchasing an 87 Fiero and I am wondering roughly what insurance costs are like with these cars? Is it high or low? Considering the body panels are made of plastic I would think it's not too expensive to replace.

Just broughta motorhome o2 fiat where cheapest and best insurance?

Just broughta motorhome o2 fiat where cheapest and best insurance?

Auto Insurance in Indiana?

I have had Progressive for many years and no claims.We do deserve cheaper rates because of our age and driving record and low mileage. I recieved a much lower quote from Indiana Farmers Mutal Insurance. I have a 2000 Tahoe that is like right off the show room floor and I understand most companies are allowed to relace parts from a junk yard or for much lower than would it would cost unless it is under 2 years old. Has anyone placed a claim with either of these companies and what was your satisfaction? Because of the condition of our Tahoe, which is perfect and just over 30 thousand miles and a limited edition, who has ideas on the best auto insurance out here in Indiana?""

Im trying to find cheap insurance for new driver in jersey. i am financing a car for the first time.?

im going to need full coverage since i am financing a 2009 scion tc. also im 19 years old.

Is the lack of affordable health insurance so bad people have to come on yahoo for advice?

i'm very concerned about the people who come on here for medical advice. some of it is very general, but some of the stuff here should be checked out by a doctor. should yahoo remove this section? i think it's a bit dangerous for people to rely on laymans for medical advice. last time i checked you had 7 years of school to deal with. not to mention the people that have been to the doctors and still come here and ask questions. it's like, why did you even go to the doctors. to me, this seems a bit nuts. or is it just me?""

I got a speeding ticket. How much will my insurance go up?

What up Doodey's & Doodettes! Anyways, I got a speeding ticket doing 80mph on a 65mph speed zone. This is my first speeding ticket violation. Roughly, I'm wondering how much will my insurance go up too? I'm currently paying like 60 bucks a month. I'm living in Los Angeles, California by the way. Please let me know! :) Thanks!""

Car insurance rate for a 17 year old male in Arizona through Geico?

I am planning on calling them to see what they said but I was curious as to what the typical amount would be. I am a B or higher student, depending on the class. I am a full time student, and will be for 5 more years... I have a job, and its been the same job for almost two years (if it matters) I will be on my moms plan, she hasnt had an accident in atleast 10 years, atleast from what i remember. I will be driving to work and school mainly. Most likely not driving more than the average mileage a year. I am assuming the type of car matters. It most likely going to be a 2007 Nissan Sentra 2.0L. It has less than 60K Miles on it. I hope that this is everything. Thanks in advanced!!! Kevin""

Rover75 rear hit by a 4x4. Garage says not repairable what do I do? how much will the insurance pay?

The 4x4 damaged the rear end of my Rover 75, impossible to shut boot and lights not working. The garage and insurance now say it is not repairable. - but even after the accident, the car was driving perfectly. How much will the insurance company pay? Will they? Is there any way I can get the car fixed?""

How do I get auto insurance without getting my parent involved?

I got my license in June and i turned 18 last week. My dad is trying to find a cheap auto insurance plan but the cheapest one he claimed to find was $6,000/6 months and he's not willing to pay that. I'm thinking of getting a part-time job at my college but idk how the process of getting insurance works out.""

What car insurance company would you recommend?

Yeah im 20 years of age and im just going to get my license. Yeah i know...why did i wait so late. But now i want to know what car insurance company would be good. I don't have a huge budget to spend but i do need insurance. HELP ME OUT...

Insurance. What do I need to sell Term Insurance in California?

Insurance. What do I need to sell Term Insurance in California?

How much flood insurance do I need in a low risk area?

I called my insurance carrier to get a agent to get a quote. He told me limit option starting at $100K and went higher to match the limits of my Dwelling coverage, and ended by saying ...show more""

Ray Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48096

Ray Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48096

""Where can I find cheap teen car insurance in Cincinnati, OH?""

Few people in my family actually drive with a license let alone insurance(not including my mother) she doesn't even drive. I'm only 17, how can I and where can I get CHEAP car insurance from?""

How much would it cost (roughly) to insure a MG TF 1.6?

I have just turned 17 and I'm aware that insurance is going to be rather costly.

Are you going to purchase health insurance as required by law ?

Now that the public option is off the table ? http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091209/ap_on_bi_ge/us_health_care_overhaul Where's the guarantee that it will become affordable ?

Car recommendations for a college student?

I'll be getting my first car in the spring of 2012. I'm staying in an apartment near the campus, and I'll have a bike for that. The majority of my driving will be errands around town, and driving the 117 miles back home occasionally to visit family. Low insurance, high gas mileage, and safety are top priorities. I've got about $15,000 to spend on the car. I will have a part time job to pay insurance/gas/etc. So far the only car that appeals to me is the 2010+ Mazda3 because it has a nice exterior, and I love the interior and features compared to other small cars. Gas mileage is decent, but not the best. Also, if I go for the hatchback, will that raise my insurance costs? Do you have any other recommendations? The Mazda3 has the best interior that I've seen so far, that's the basic factor that's keeping me from other cars.""

What is cheaper for insurance a red car or a black car?

What is cheaper for insurance a red car or a black car?

What is the cheapest car insurance?

What is the cheapest car insurance?

Are insurance rates different for a lifted Toyota Tacoma rather than a normal one?

I know i'm getting a used Toyota Tacoma, under 100K mileage, and I really want a lifted one, but I need to know if insurance rates are different?""

How can i get insurance for my kid in nj from the state?

I cant afford insurance for my kid can i get it threw nj from the state

What is the cost of baby health insurance?

I am doing a project for health class, called baby's first year. I have every thing that i would cost to have a baby except Doctor, Hospital cost and health Insurance. If you know how ...show more""

First car recommendations and insurance help?

I'm 17 and I'm about 3 or 4 months away from passing my driving test. I've been looking at cars and really like the look of a peugeot 206 or 207 or a new model renault clio. however, the insurance is at the cheapest 2,220 - that's with out any pass plus or other drivers on it. I was just wondering if there are any other cars you people would recommend for me (my budget is 1000 for a car) and any insurance tips. no-one be stupid please, I'm a good driver and yes i do need a car :-)""

Home Content Insurance?

Hi this may be a odd question but is it possible to get insurance for one item?? I have had 2 replace my comp and it would have helped if I had insurance instead of getting anouther built! Thanks

Which car insurance company fit what I want?

Hi, I recently cancelled my car insurance from State Farm because they were over-charging on my bill. I am 19 years old, and have a new car (Honda Accord Coupe) which is a 2 door which is considered a sport's car. Because I'm a young driver, and it's a new car, and it's a sports car my insurance was off the roof. I want to find another car insurance that will have fair coverage and is affordable for me. I live in PA if that helps as well...""

I need cheap car insurance keep in mind I am 19 & I need full coverage on m car any suggestions?

I need cheap car insurance keep in mind I am 19 & I need full coverage on m car any suggestions?

18 year old military personal auto insurance price in NY?

hello my name is Joseph and i recently just bought my first car yesterday. I financed through Navy federal bank and purchased a 2011 Mazda 3 I for 11k out the door price including tax. the check will be coming in the mail tuesday and i will need to have insurance to go pick up the car. ive been searching online and calling different insurance agents to get a quote and im looking at paying 400-600 per month for insurance ! here are some of the prices these insurance agents quoted me at. Geico - 500 State Farm - 400 USAA - 600 Progressive - 550 Esurance - 450 im just wondering if this is normal ? i was expecting to pay 200-250 but not 400-600, i am 18 years old. been in the military for 6 months. clean driving record. and have been license at the age of 16 since 03/15/2012 can anyone tell me if this is normal ? and what other car insurance companies are in new york ? thank you for your time.""

What's car insurance im a beginner on cars?

I'm only 17 in the future I want to buy a car a mini countryman I see a lot of car insurance ads on tv do they pay you or do you pay them

""On average, how much do YOU spend on utilities each month?""

I'm a college student getting ready to do into dental school. & I was wondering about how much do you spend on gas, electric, rent, insurance....etc. Please name what it is and about how much you pay. Do you have any money left over?? I'm like freaking out here because right now, I live in a dorm & I don't pay anything.""

When getting a car insurance quote do they run your credit?

When getting a car insurance quote do they run your credit?

I was rear ended a few months back and had no insurance?

Me and my wife and a friend were driving in california and we were rear ended we pulled over and so did the other people. I looked at our car and there was no visible damage. i took pictures to show. and the guy who hit us had major front end damage he just wanted to drive away and get no information but we took his info so he asked for ours. four months later i get a letter from the dmv saying he is coming after me for insurance to pay him for the damages . i am assuming he is lying and said i hit him or something but i have two witnesses who saw everything my wife even had a ****** up neck problem for a while and still does but we didnt want to go to the hospital because of the no insurance thing. i was hired for a job at a dealership but cant get my salesperson license because of this and my license will be suspended next month what do i do to fix this whole mess. and if i can be lucky come out of this with some money because he is lying through his neck to attack me. I had a perfect driving record as well.

Auto Insurance coverage -- How much Liability and Medical?

I got a couple of questions about about auto insurance coverage. Namely, what's the best amount of liability and medical coverage to select. 1) For the liability, I know it's wise to get the best liability that one can afford to cover your assets. But how about if one also gets umbrella coverage. For example, if one gets an umbrella coverage at a $2 million limit and the liability limit for the auto insuarance is $300,000 or $500,000, does it make sense to select the $500,000 or is it better to select the $300,000 limit since the umbrella coverage would kick in? 2) for medical, is this redundant coverage and not needed because wouldn't the liability portion also cover medical expenses? Or is it wise to get this, for example, if a passenger is not insured (no health insurance), so the medical part would help out in that case? Thanks.""

Insurance and mental health treatment?

I work for the state of Texas and sign up for health select insurance will it cover MHMR treatment for depression?

Should I get health insurance?

I am an overall healthy guy, but I do spend $30 a month on a prescription for my disorder and I visit my doctor every 3 months for $60. Is there a health insurance that will reduce my cost or is it not worth it?""

How much is teen auto insurance?

i normally have bs and as and rarely cs for school. About how much would auto insurance be?

Health insurance question about coverage under age 26 while married? HELP?

Im currently age 22 and on my mothers health care plan and scheduled to get married in October. My question is, will I still be covered on my mothers insurance plan if my future spous has a form of employer insurance that i could be on. This would however kill her monthly take home pay. Shed make 300$ a month for full time job Im self employed and have NO Employer-based insurance opportunities and will still be 22 when married. So when i get married will i be kicked off my mothers insurance because i have the potential to be on my spouses insurance plan? This Affordable Care act law is somewhat vague on this topic""

Cheap Car Insurance in Kentucky?

Next month my husband and I are going to need to get car insurance. So this month I'm shopping around for the best deals. I was wondering which were the best rated or cheapest companies that are for drivers in Kentucky. I'm looking for companies with good discounts too please. Thank you.

""When getting a car insurance quote, do I disclose a speeding ticket, if I already took traffic school for it?""

I had a speeding ticket, but the judge lowered my citation to 99mph so I could take traffic school. I am getting an insurance quote from progressive.com and they want me to provide information on tickets I've received in the last 3 years. Do I tell them about my speeding ticket, since traffic school is supposed to prevent a point from being added to my driving record? I've already finished my traffic school and I live in California.""

Ray Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48096

Ray Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48096

What is a affordable health insurance? I need one that is cheap for 1 person. Thanks to all who answer. ?

In Columbus Ohio

Ohio moped insurance?

im 14 i have a 1980 puch moped i wanna now the cost per year

What is the cost of insurance on this?

ok well there are a few motorcycles i am looking at right now. But i was wondering in michigan if you can drive a motorcycle on a salvage title, or a rebuilt title. And if you can would the insurance go up or would it stay the same?""

Why is my car insurance so expensive?

I'm 17 years old, with no convictions or points on my licence. I passed my test about a week ago, and I cannot get insurance for my VW polo 1.2, 02 plate lower than 10'000!!? What do I do?""

Insurance on an 2006 chevrolet equinox?

My parents are buying me a used one for my birthday in a few months. I am suppose to buy the insurance for my vehicle though I was wondering about how much it would cost for a 16 year old? Also I have a daughter that would be riding with me most of the time, I dont know If that has to be added into the insurance cost of not? Im kind of clueless, thanks for your help!""

08 lancer gts or 08 altima coupe what would be best for 17 year old and cheaper on insurance?

I want one that's fun to drive it has to be reliable I don't want to race but I do want a little speed I want whatever is cheaper on insurance and I'm stuck between these two cars what do you guys think?

I live in new york city can anybody tell me who has the cheapest car insurance in the city?

I live in new york city can anybody tell me who has the cheapest car insurance in the city?

How much would my car insurance cost?

I'm planning to buy a 90's bmw 325 or 328. I'm 20 years old, almost 21. So far I have been driving around in my parents' cars, both of which I'm insured on under my parents' names. I have been driving for 3 and a half years and during that time I have only gotten pulled over once because my front license plate had fallen off, so statistically speaking I am a quite responsible driver. What do you reckon my insurance bill will roughly be? I live in east Washington State""

Cheap car insurance for first time drivers????!?

im from the UK, and the insurance for first time drivers can be about 1000+ for the first year.... i know someone who got theirs lower but the company has strings that come with it.... Does anyone know any companies that a fairly reasonable for first time drivers???? Thank you if anyone answers =)""

Question about auto insurance?

I've never had a car before so this is new for me. I don't have auto insurance yet and I'm going to check out a car today. In order to drive it home I will need auto insurance but I'm not sure if I'm getting the car yet. I already have my quotes set up and if I decide to get the car I can call and set it up right there but the policy doesn't go into effect until tomorrow. Can I still drive the car home?

How do I get cheap insurance?

I'm 19. 1 NCB. Been on the road for 2 years and 5 months.

Is there affordable insurace for me?

I am currently employed at a wonderful job with great insurance, but my baby is due in January and my husband and I would really love for me to be able to stay home. The only problem with that is, my husband is self-employed and we would not have insurance if I quit my job. We live in Missouri, is there affordable insurance out there for us. I have looked into Medicaid, but I believe that my husband makes just a little too much too qualify. Any help would be greatly appreciated""

50cc motorcycle insurance?

I have a 1982 honda mb5 street bike. Its 50cc and has a 5 speed gearbox. I live in indiana and i want to get my motorcycles endorsment but it requires that i have insurance for the bike. How much would that be?

Why does the insurance cost more for a higher litre engine?

I know a higher litre engine can obtain more air and fuel in its cylinders but why does this change the insurance price , is it because faster cars have higher litre engines""

How much would insurance be?

im getting a 1993 eclipse for my birthday and i have to pay for my own insurance, so how much are we looking at here for insurance? i just got my license and have a c/b average for my grades. we are going through farmers but when i went to the website it wouldnt work.""

I do not have auto insurance and my license is suspended (child support). I live in California?

Is the other driver still responsible to pay for damages to my car? He has insurance. What do I do first? Thank you for your help

I trying to find a cheap car insurance for teenagers?

she already have tickets in her name . i trying to find someone who can make a deal with us.

Health insurance in florida?

if you dont have a job yet and have children how do u get health insurance in florida and if you had a c section and a premature baby why would an insurance company deny you insurance also if your child is underweight because of being premature why would their insurance be ridiculously high each month?

Will car insurance effects right away when you call them?

I just bought a car, well imma get it tomorrow I have Infinity Insurance (not the car brand) I will get my car tomorrow, I was wondering If I call them tomorrow when I get car, to add my new car to the insurance car list will the insurance effects right away or later, because I'm going to call them not talk to them in person thank you""

Recovery/treatment dates for disability insurance?

If someone was never treated for borderline hypertension, they just controlled it with diet without any input from a doctor, what can be used as recovery and last treatment dates? Could it be when the patient's current physician first had their blood pressure measured and it was normal?""

Insurance on a moped (under 50cc)?

i am interested in buying a 50cc or less moped, geared or not geared, it doesnt honestly matter. but i dont have a clue how much the insurance for it could be. could anyone give me a rough estimation of the cost of insurance of this moped, as i am 16. can anyone help?""

How to get car insurance / insured for a 17 year old driver 1.0l car HELP!! PLEASE 3000- price quote?

hi guys, i really need some help with this one: i passed my driving test last week and need to get insurance for my 1.0 l VW LUPO i have been on GOCOMPARE, COMPARE THE MARKET, MONEY SUPERMARKET, QUINN DIRECT ETC but the least i have been quoted is 7500!! how ridiculous PLEASE CAN YOU HELP!! I NEED INSURANCE THAT WILL BE 3000 OR LESS so if any one can help please do please dont post about how you got cheap car insurance 3 years ago because it is not helpful, times have changed as my brother got insurance on a 1.4 focus for 1600!! PLEASE HELP GUYS IM DESPARATED""

What's the cheapest liability insurance in the metroplex?

What's the cheapest liability insurance in the metroplex?

I'm shopping for Auto Insurance can you help?

Can anyone tell me their experience with GEICO insurance. I'm shopping for auto insurance and they have the better quote so far. I've got quotes from State Farm and Allstate. Thanks...

""Car insurance, Help!?""

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[hymn2000]

Called To Be A Rock - Frostiron feat. Spiderson AU fanfic - C11

Chapter 1  Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10

Comments/reviews/questions welcome as always

Overall Desc.: Peter is staying with Tony and Loki one summer while his aunt is away working/travelling.

Chapter Desc.: Tony decides on a spontaneous night away. Domestic bliss is always easier in theory than in practice

Ship(s) involved: Tony x Loki aka Frostiron

Verse: Personal AU

Ongoing Warnings/themes/cw mentions: sickness, domestic, fluff

Chapter 11 - On The Edge Again

-

Tony burst into the reading room, making Loki and Peter jump. 

“Right, you two” he said. “You need your overnight bags packed. Go”

Peter jumped up immediately, no questions asked. Loki wasn’t quite so eager. Tony took his book from him. 

“Come on, my little bookworm, hop to it”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes. Come on, you don’t have all day”

Loki frowned. “I’d rather stay here”

“Tough. Go and get your bag ready”

“And what if I don’t? What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know, spank you?” he saw the look on Loki’s face. “That wasn’t an invitation! Come on, get up, get cracking. You’ve got twenty minutes and I want both of you down to the garage, ok? Move it!”

Loki sighed and finally gave in.

-

Peter pushed open Loki’s bedroom door, dropping his bag in the doorway and bounding up to the god.

“Where are we going, huh? Did Mr Stark tell you? Do you think it’ll be good?”

“I haven’t a clue” Loki said, zipping his bag up. “I suppose we’ll find out”

“I think we’re going overnight, so like, will it be a big hotel or something? Or is he taking us to a conference, or-”

“I said, I haven’t a clue. There’s no use in asking me: you’ll just have to wait and see”

“Ok, ok” Peter nodded. 

Tony poked his head round the door. “Ready? Stop yakking and get down to the car. I’ll be with you in a minute”

-

“Why does he need so many cars?” Peter asked, looking at the selection of vehicles down in the large garage. 

“He doesn’t: he just wants them. One for every day of the week, I think”

Tony soon joined them. “Right, we’ll take the scout. Shove your bags in the boot”

Loki wasn’t feeling too clever, but he did as he was told and reluctantly opened the car door. Peter stopped him.

“Aren’t you sitting up front?”

“He prefers the back” Tony answered for him. “More room to stretch out”

“Oh”

Peter decided on the back too, partly to keep Loki company. He was going over so many possibilities of their destination in his head, not sure whether or not he should be excited. 

The engine came to life, and Loki gripped the car door armrest. Peter noticed this, and at first considered the possibility he didn’t like Tony’s driving - but Peter himself had never had a problem with it.

They’d barely gone five miles before Peter noticed that Loki had turned very pale.

“Mr Loki? Are you ok?”

Tony glanced at them in his rear view mirror, and passed Loki a bottle of water.

“He just gets travel sick, don’t you, pet?”

Loki nodded, accepting the bottle of water gratefully. 

“Really? But like, don’t you all go flying about in spaceships where you’re from?”

“Yes, but I can manage that. I can do the ships, and planes and trains and boats, and buses and trams. It’s just cars, they really get to me. I don’t know why” Loki said, sounding tired.

“Weird. So, you can travel fine any other way, but cars get you? That’s odd. What about, like, fairground rides and stuff? Do they make you sick too?”

“No. But then, I can’t say I’ve been on very many”

“Ok. So, do you just feel sick, or do you actually-”

“Peter” Tony interrupted. “Don’t keep going on about it: you’ll make it worse. If you are going to talk, try to take his mind off it”

-

It wasn’t long before Loki started to feel really ill. Tony noticed. 

“Drink your water, sweetheart: it’ll help” 

Loki sipped the water weakly, and it did help a bit, but he felt very tired now too. Tony reached into the bag in the passenger footwell and pulled out a worn ikea pig, which he passed to Loki. 

“Here. Why don’t you cuddle up and try to get your head down for a bit?”

Peter watched, amused. “You’ve got a cuddly toy? That’s adorable”

Loki wasn’t in the mood to banter with him. He took the pig and positioned it against the car window ledge where it could act as a cushion, and promptly buried his face in it. 

-

“I think he’s fallen asleep now” Peter said after a while. 

Tony nodded. “Just as well, really. We can make a bit of progress while he’s out for the count. Why don’t you go to sleep for a bit as well? I don’t want you waking him”

“I’m not tired. I’m not gonna wake him up either” 

“See that you don’t”

“Is this why he didn’t want to come?”

“Probably” Tony said. “Hates it, driving. I don’t blame him: I’d hate it too if it made me ill”

“Can’t you get travel pills or something?”

“Usually do, but we’ve run out. Which is a shame, because they’re pretty good” 

Peter looked at Loki. “I know it’s horrible. But it’s kinda reassuring seeing that he can be just as human as us sometimes”

Tony paused, glancing at him. “I know what you mean”

-

Loki woke up after about an hour, feeling a little disorientated. 

“Hey, sleepyhead” Tony said. “Ok?”

Loki didn’t reply. He felt sick again already. Truly, dreadfully sick. He buried his face in his pig again, trying to breathe evenly. The road they were on was very bumpy and winding, and Loki soon started to feel very shaky and hot as well as highly nauseous. 

“Do you need your water?” Peter asked. 

Loki swallowed heavily. “Tony... Can we stop for a minute?”

Tony quickly found a place by the side of the road to park up. Loki undid his seatbelt and threw the car door open. He went to get up and was overcome with a dizziness which caused him to sit back on the edge of the seat, head in his hands. Tony got out of the car, going to him. 

“Ok?”

Loki tried to breathe deeply, but it wasn’t enough. He was forced to push himself up from his seat and get out of the car. He breathed very heavily, one hand on the car to support himself, and doubled up. Tony rubbed his back as he was badly sick. 

“Alright sweetheart, alright. You’ll be ok in a minute”

Once he’d finished, Tony helped him sit back down. Peter moved closer, passing Loki what little remained in his water bottle. Loki accepted it, but it had gone warm from being in the hot car, and so didn’t help much. Tony squeezed his shoulder, looking around them. There was a sign nearby for event parking, and another one detailing a little fair going on in the village.

“Ok darling, we’re going to park up and then get out for a bit and have a walk. Fresh air will do you good. Just a couple more minutes in the car, ok?” 

Loki nodded. He didn’t really have any other option.

-

They parked up and got out of the car. Loki was still feeling very shaky and found he had to hold on to Tony’s arm to support himself. It had turned out to be a very warm day, but as they began their walk to the village, a cool breeze picked up, which was very welcome. Loki was grateful of the fresh air, and he was starting to feel a little better. 

“Where are we, anyway?” Peter asked, looking around with interest. 

“Haven’t a clue” Tony answered. “Now I don’t know about you, but I think I’m ready for something to eat now”

Peter nodded. “I’m not massively hungry yet, but I wouldn’t say no to a snack”

They walked through the stalls, and soon stumbled across a bakery. Peter and Tony took advantage of the coffee and cake offer. Loki insisted he’d lost his appetite, and just had a can of dandelion and burdock. They found a wall in the sun to sit on, watching the band play. It was very calm, even though the village was relatively busy. Loki soon found he was quite happy sat sipping his pop and watching the world go by, and he was feeling mostly better. 

Tony didn’t want to crowd him, so talked with Peter instead. Soon, Peter gestured to the other side of the square.

“There’s a pharmacy over there”

“Ooh, good thinking. Here, keep an eye on my drink” Tony stood up, ruffling Peter’s hair. “Won’t be a minute”

Once he’d gone, Peter took his place on the wall, closer to Loki. 

“You feeling better now?”

“Mostly... I’m sorry”

“What are you sorry for?”

Loki shrugged, raising his drink to his mouth. “I always feel like I ruin things, getting sick like this. I think it stunts a lot of opportunity”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s hard for Tony to want to take me out when I can barely go two minutes without feeling ill in the car”

Peter didn’t see it as a problem. “Well, just stock up on travel pills and be done with it. It’s an easy fix”

A smile tugged at Loki’s lips. “I like having you around: you’re so relentlessly positive”

“Oh, I’m just seeing the obvious. You worry too much. Plus, I think he wants to take you places. I’ve seen him looking on hotels.com recently. Maybe he’s after a weekend away. Unless this is it. I don’t know”

Tony reappeared. He handed Loki a box of Kwells. 

“Get a couple of them down you” he looked at Peter. “You’re in my seat”

Peter moved aside obediently, letting Tony sit down. Loki took a couple of pills and leant back against Tony, draining the rest of his drink. 

“What’s in your bag?”

“Hm? Oh. Barley sugar. And a few drinks” 

“Have we still got long to go?”

“Not really” Tony said. “Well, at least another half hour. Maybe an hour, depending on traffic”

Loki sighed. He didn’t want to get back in the car, not now he was feeling better. But, he’d had the travel pills now, and he had the drinks and barley sugar to help him through, so maybe it wouldn’t be too bad after all.

-

The next leg of the journey was much easier. Peter started up a game of I-Spy, which kept them occupied, and caused a few arguments over who had guessed the right answer first. After they’d exhausted all the obvious spies, it all got a bit obscure. Peter and Tony got stuck on Loki’s turn for quite a while. They’d already guessed Tree and Truck and Tire and Tony, and suddenly finding anything else beginning with T seemed utterly impossible. 

“Tractor!” Peter burst out, suddenly spotting one in a field they were passing.

“No” Loki said, relishing in the defeated look on his face.

“Telephone” Tony guessed.

Loki shook his head. “No”

There was another silence. Peter looked round the car, and out of the car, trying to spot something - anything - beginning with T. He was feeling very competitive. 

“Turkey”

“You’re just making stuff up now” Loki said. “Come on, it’s such an obvious one”

“Evidently not!” Peter said. “Give us a clue”

“It’s inside the car”

That didn’t help much. Tony was starting to get annoyed. He couldn’t for the life of him think of anything.

“Twat”

“Uhh, there’s young ears present, remember” Loki spluttered. “Plus, you’ve already guessed yourself”

“Oi, you cheeky git!” Tony reached behind him, slapping Loki’s leg. He glanced at Peter. “Don’t you go copying us”

“I’ve heard worse” Peter said, not really paying attention to them. He sighed heavily. “I give up! I can’t think of anything else”

“How have you not got it? You’re both rubbish” 

Tony rolled his eyes. “What it is then?”

“Thermometer”

Suddenly they both saw it - the window sticker thermometer on the front windscreen. They both growled in annoyance, and Tony slapped his leg again.

“Trust you to pick something so obscure”

Loki merely laughed.

“I can’t believe I didn’t see that! It’s so obvious now” Peter whined.

Loki laughed at him too. “Ok, I won that round, so my turn again. I spy with-”

“No, we’re not doing this again!” Tony interrupted. “You’ll pick the screw in your sunglasses or something silly like that”

“You’re just a sore loser”

“Maybe so! Anyway, we’ll be there in a minute”

-

They pulled up and parked on a private drive in front of a house. It was pretty, but it didn’t seem to be anything too spectacular from the outside. It was quite big, but still relatively cosy looking. They climbed out of the car, and Loki and Peter looked at each other, and then back at the house.

“Tony”

“I felt we needed a break” Tony said, answering his unspoken question. “I only booked it last night, just kinda like a last minute thing, but I thought it was nice. It’s only a two bed, I’m afraid. But it was last minute, as I said”

“It’s nice!” Peter said, looking up at it. “Good job we set off so early! So, is there anything to do nearby?”

“I didn’t really look” Tony said, opening the boot to get the bags out. “But the house itself is good. Fire pit and swimming pool in the back, and sports equipment in the shed. And the weathers good, so we can just hang out here, unwind a bit”

“Woah, no way! I haven’t been swimming for ages!”

“We’ve got a pool at home” Loki said.

“Wait, really?” Peter looked at him.

“Yes, but we never really use it” Tony said. “Come on, lets chuck our stuff down and get changed. May as well make the most of it”

“Ok!” Peter said eagerly - and then his face fell. “I didn’t bring swimming stuff...”

“I didn’t think you would, so I grabbed stuff for both of you. And a couple of others things you were bound to forget. Come on, key should be under the mat”

-

Loki had started to feel a bit fed up, and the bedroom situation annoyed him.

“Stop moping, Lolly” Tony said, throwing a pair of swimming trunks at him. “What’s up?”

“Why didn’t you get a three bed?”

“It was last minute, like I said. I’m sure you’ll survive having one night sleeping in the same bed” 

“I like my space” Loki said.

“Oh give it a rest, lolly. Are you still feeling sick, is that it?”

Loki nodded. Tony sighed, giving him a quick hug. 

“Get changed. You’ll feel better for a bit of exercise”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes, now hurry up before I follow through on this mornings threat”

Loki couldn’t help laughing at him.

-

Peter was in his element. The pool was out the back, with blue gradient tiles, sparkling in the sun light, and it was a good size too. Tony laughed at him as he jumped in, making quite the splash. He emerged from the water, pushing his hair back over his forehead. 

“I’d forgotten how much I liked pools!”

Loki went to sit down on one of the deck chairs, but Tony grabbed his arm to stop him, taking his book and throwing it aside.

“Oh no you don’t! Come on, come for a swim”

“I’d really rather not. I’ve said this already” Loki said.

“Aww, come on, Mr Loki!” Peter hauled himself out of the pool, grabbing Loki’s hand. “You may as well make the most of it!” 

He pulled Loki towards the edge of the pool.

“I’m happier just paddling” Loki said, trying to take his hand back. 

“Can’t you just have a little swim? It’ll be fun! Just, yknow, jump in”

Peter went to do just that, but slipped on the tiles, falling into Loki and knocking them both into the pool with an almighty splash. They emerged a few seconds later, both coughing a bit, while Tony stood at the side, almost wetting himself with laughter.

“Your faces!”

Loki glared at him, holding onto the edge and pushing his hair back out of his eyes. He wasn’t happy at all. Peter tried to laugh it off.

“Whoops! Oh well, may as well have that swim now you’re in!”

“He’s right about that” Tony said, sliding into the pool with much more dignity. He was still laughing. 

Loki wasn’t impressed. “I’m happier just paddling. I’ve already said this”

Tony sighed, but decided not to push it. “Suit yourself” he gave Peter a poke. “Race you”

“Ok!”

Loki hauled himself back onto the edge, grabbing a nearby towel to dry his face. He wanted to storm back inside and recluse by the hearth with his book, but he sat paddling anyway, watching Tony and Peter. 

He was quite relieved that they soon seemed to forget about him. They were too busy playing recklessly; racing and splashing and laughing. After a while, Loki found himself smiling fondly at them. They were certainly enjoying themselves, and it was rather nice to see Tony’s paternal side in full bloom. 

Eventually, Tony left Peter practising his backstroke and pulled himself up onto the side next to Loki. 

“Hey baby” his voice was husky - he was still evidently a bit out of breath.

“Enjoying yourself?”

Tony nodded. “He’s a strong little swimmer. He’s tired me out a bit. I think it’s your turn now”

“I think not”

“Why not, eh? I think it’d mean a lot to him if you did. And the exercise is good for you. Best exercise you can do, swimming”

“I’m fine here”

Tony watched him for a moment. “Don’t you like swimming?”

“I just don’t fancy it”

“Come on, five minutes! Humour me” Tony slid back into the pool, turning and taking Loki’s hands. “Please?”

Loki looked at him. Peter raced over to them.

“Are you coming in now?” he asked, breathing heavily. 

“Yes, he is” Tony said, pulling him into the pool.

Loki wasn’t expecting it, and he panicked a bit, grabbing hold of Tony’s arm.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Loki snapped. “Idiot! I’ve already told you no!”

“Aww, please Mr Loki! Just one race!” Peter begged.

“No” Loki said firmly, feeling for the ledge with his free hand and making a tight grip on it before letting go of Tony. “I’ll play with you some other time”

Peter pouted. Loki pulled himself out of the pool, sitting back on the edge. Tony sighed.

“Leave him. If he’s going to be a sourpuss, let him” he gave Peter a little push. “Best of three, ok?”

Peter looked at Loki, who was trembling. He gave him a little smile and then turned back to Tony. 

“You’re on!”

-

Once he’d been forgotten about again, Loki moved over into one of the deckchairs, retrieving his book. He felt much better for it. The sun was hot on his skin, and Tony and Peter’s antics made for good background noise. He was happy to settle with his book and forget the world for a little bit.

-

Eventually, Tony and Peter left the pool. Peter flopped down on the tiles, watching the sky as he caught his breath. Tony put a hand under Loki’s chin, tipping his head back.

“Hey beautiful. Are you gonna come inside for a bit? We’re gonna dry off and get changed, grab something to eat”

“Is there a shop nearby then?”

“Hm? Oh, I don’t know. I brought some stuff with us” Tony said. He called over to Peter. “Come on, better get changed”

Peter pulled himself up, grabbing a towel and wrapping it round his shoulders. 

“Whew! I’m proper knackered after that! I need to go swimming more often” 

-

Loki was much happier once they’d all gotten dressed and were sat in the big rustic kitchen. 

“I’m cooking properly later, so I’ll just do something light for now, ok? What do you two fancy?” Tony asked. 

“To be honest, I just want a cup of tea” Loki said. 

“You can have a cup of tea, that’s no problem” Tony said, switching the kettle on. “But you have to eat something too. Peter?”

“Pancakes. Can we have pancakes?”

“Sure”

“You’re lucky he’s good at them” Loki said, putting his arms on the table and resting his head on them. 

“Oi, I’m not a bad cook all round, you know” Tony said, waving a spatula in his direction. “Well, not now I’ve actually learnt something more than toast”

“You used to be rubbish” Loki said. “No wonder Pepper made you take those classes”

Peter was quite amused by this, but decided not to say anything. He got up and sorted Loki’s tea for him while Tony got cracking on the pancakes. Loki sat up again when Peter handed him the mug. 

“Which one did you go for?”

“Chia”

“I think you mean chai” Loki said. “Thank you”

“No problem. What’s this one like?”

“Christmas” Loki said, breathing in the spiced scent. “Always reminds me of Christmas”

He took a few mouthfuls and handed the mug over for Peter to try.

“Ooh, you’re right! Definitely Christmassy” he said. “I like this one”

“Well, please help yourself. I’ve got loads of tea to get through: may as well have a helping hand”

“Thank you!”

He handed the mug back and went to make himself one. Tony looked at them, at Peter struggling with the kettle lid, and Loki staring quite intently into his mug. 

“You two are great, did you know?”

“Aww” Peter smiled at him.

“Of course I knew” Loki said. “You’d be a fool not to see it”

Tony laughed at him, turned back to the stove. “First one’s nearly ready”

-

Tony quite enjoyed playing the domestic goddess. Once everyone was well fed, he stood doing the washing up, Peter at his side, drying the clean stuff and chatting nineteen to the dozen. 

The scratch of a lighter igniting was heard. 

“Oh, Lolly, sweetheart, you’ll have to pop outside if you’re doing that” Tony said. “It’s a non-smoking property”

“Ooh, sorry. I’ll just-”

Loki went outside. Peter watching him, turning to Tony once he’d gone.

“I wish he wouldn’t do that. I mean, weirdly, I do kinda like the smell, but still. It’s not a good thing to do”

“I know. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he never pays much attention” Tony said, draining the sink and drying his hands. 

“Has he always smoked?”

“No. I think I’m slightly responsible for it. When we first got together, we had a bit of a partying phase, lots of late nights, you know. Anyway, clubs get pretty hot, so we’d step outside for some air, and one night we got talking to some bloke, and he offered Loki a cigarette. Loki looked at me first, for permission, like, and I nodded. I didn’t really think anything of it. After that, he used to smoke on nights out, because he was always offered, and I think he quite liked the way it looked. I don’t know. But anyway, since it was only on nights out, I didn’t mind. But we slowly moved out of that stage, and a few months later I found a box on his bedside table. Even then, he wasn’t a heavy smoker. Used to just do it every couple of weeks. It’s only fairly recently that he’s started doing it more. He’s had quite a few bad days recently though. I think that’s why”

“You think he only does it because he’s sad?”

“Partly. I know he’s not addicted. He can go for ages without one if he wants to. No, I think he does it - started doing it - because it reminds him of good times. He used to love our nights out. He’d come over and we’d stick on an old 80s CD while we got all dressed up. We definitely had a couple of favourite venues. He used to have a great time - we both did” Tony laughed slightly. “He was so funny that first time. He’d never done anything like it before. He didn’t really know what he was doing. It shocked him a bit, having people coming up wanting to dance, wanting to talk and hug and stuff. He soon got used to it though. I think he liked the attention. And the drink. He was amazing, really. I’ve got loads of pictures somewhere. I’ll have to dig them out”

“It’s hard to imagine Mr Loki in a nightclub”

“He always looked the part though. He didn’t really have many clothes before he moved in, so I started buying him a load of stuff after we made things official, and they stayed at mine. It was proper stuff too, designer, independent stuff. I used to do eyeliner on him, too. Just a black liquid eyeliner. It made him look very striking” he led Peter over to the sofa at the back of the kitchen.

“So, did you both gets loads of attention then?”

“Yes. It’s obvious why I got it - I mean, look at my bank account! But Loki wasn’t high profile. He always got very surprised by it. We were pretty open about things on nights out back then, so he got to take full advantage of all the attention. He always dressed so he stood out, and especially with the eyeliner, he had such a look going on. He got lots of kisses”

“Didn’t I just?” Loki himself had appeared. 

Tony looked a little worried at first, but Loki seemed happy enough for Tony to be talking about it. He sat down next to Peter on the sofa. 

“You were seriously cute” Tony said. “Especially those first couple of nights. Didn’t have a clue what you were doing”

“It was all new to me” he looked at Peter. “I still don’t know how to dance. People would pull me onto the dance floor, and I used to freeze up a bit at first, not sure what to do”

“You just copy people, really” Tony said. “That little go-to thing you ended up with was so cute. God, you really were something. I used to love watching. You’d’ve laughed, Peter. He used to be so nervous, getting into the dancing with whoever had approached him, looking so cautious, and as he got into it, he’d get this little smile on his face, always looking at his own feet more than the other person, but looking so sincere and nervous when he did look at them. It was quite mesmerising. No wonder it usually ended in a kiss”

“Up against a rainbow pillar” Loki said.

“It was a good look”

“So, you let him kiss other people?” Peter said, looking quite confused.

“At first, yes. I think it’s a big part of the whole night-out scene, the whole experience. I didn’t mind, and I was always on hand in case someone tried any funny business”

“The kisses were nice. Mostly” Loki said. “But they were inconsequential: they didn’t matter, not really. I never thought about going home with anyone other than Tony”

“Exactly” Tony agreed. “We both agreed to that little bit of openness. At the end of the night, it was always us. Sure, we usually went off to McDonald’s with whoever we’d made friends with that night, but after that, he was always under my arm in the taxi on the way home. That’s just how it worked”

Peter understood now. “Are they actually as fun as they sound? Nights out, I mean”

“If you’re in the right company, yes” Tony said.

“And if you control yourself. Our favourite bar always had really good drinks offers on, and it can be really easy to go overboard when they’re staring you in the face” Loki said. “You’ve gotta know your limits”

“Never go out clubbing on your own. Always go with someone, and if you’re drinking - really drinking - make sure you’re with someone you trust to look after you if anything happens” Tony warned. “Nights out can be great fun, but you have to look after yourself for them to be good”

They were all quiet for a moment. 

“I miss it” Loki said. “We used to have a great time”

“Yeah, we did... I miss it too”

“Why don’t you go again?”

“I don’t know. We’ve got you to look after, for one thing” Tony said. “It’s been so long since we’ve done it”

“I wonder if those regulars still go”

“Maybe. Maybe they phased out of it too”

“You two are gonna make me sad, going all nostalgic on me” 

Loki smiled at him. “We’ve got some photos somewhere. We’ll have to show you some time. Oh” he looked at Tony. “Shall I show him some stuff?”

“Uh, no! Don’t you go using your funny memory-sharing mind trick thing on him. You’ll weird him out”

Peter looked at Loki gone-out, and then turned to Tony for an explanation. None was offered.

-

Loki was true to his word and played with Peter. While Tony settled on one of the deck chairs with a large whiskey, they raided the shed, and after rejecting the cricket and golf supplies, found a couple of tennis rackets and tennis balls, and an old football. 

They decided to start with tennis. Neither of them were very good at it, but it didn’t really matter, even though it meant they spent twice as much time running after the ball than actually hitting it. The afternoon was quickly turning into evening, the sky turning dusky. They didn’t really notice. Eventually the inevitable happened, and the ball landed in the pool. 

“I can get that” Peter said determinedly, seeing that it was floating quite close to the edge. 

He knelt down by the side of the pool, trying to retrieve the ball. He overreached, and toppled into the pool fully clothed. Loki absolutely lost it, and even Tony started laughing despite himself. Peter wasn’t very happy.

“It’s not funny!” 

“It really is!” Loki grinned, holding out a hand to him.

Peter took his hand - and tugged hard, pulling Loki down into the pool. It took him by surprise, and he fell awkwardly, plunging into the water and swallowing a bucketful as he did so. He fought clumsily, the water rushing in his ears. It took him a good seven seconds to resurface, though it felt a lot longer. He grabbed at the side of the pool, trying to cough, but not quite managing it. Tony came over, pulling him back to dry land and thumping him on the back a couple of times. Loki coughed and spluttered, initially bringing up a fair amount of water.

“Ew”

Tony glared at Peter, but quickly turned his attention back to Loki. He continued to pat his back as he stopped coughing, shushing him gently. 

“Alright sweetheart?” he helped Loki into a more upright position. “Don’t keep your mouth open next time”

Loki smiled weakly, but it didn’t last long. He was shaking all over and still felt quite panicked, and his throat hurt. Peter had crawled over to them.

“Are you alright?”

Loki shoved him in the chest, knocking him back into the pool. 

“Mm. You deserved that” Tony said, watching Peter’s annoyed face as he pulled himself out of the pool once again. “I think that’s enough excitement for one day. Back indoors, both of you. Go and get into your night stuff”

-

Loki hadn’t packed any nightclothes, but he searched through Tony’s bag and soon found his old, barely-worn silky pyjamas. He dried off as best he could with shaking hands and got changed. He was still a bit quivery when he went down to the kitchen where Tony was.

“How’s your throat?” 

“Feels weird. Kind of hollow”

Tony nodded, grabbing a jar and spoon and coming over to him. “Here, have a bit of this”

“What is it?”

“Honey. It’ll help, I promise”

Loki wasn’t convinced, but he let Tony give it to him anyway - and was surprised to find that it did indeed help. Tony smiled at him.

“Better? You are alright, aren’t you? You’re still shaking”

“I’m just still feeling quite shaken up”

“I’ll bet. You gave me a bit of a fright:- for a moment I thought I’d have to jump in after you. I think it took us both by surprise” Tony gave him a hug. “You’re not hurt at all, are you?”

Loki shook his head. “No, I’m not hurt”

“Good. I did worry a bit. It’s not nice, is it? Choking” 

Loki just looked at him. Tony let go of him for a moment, grabbing a towel. 

“Let’s get your hair dried, ok?”

For once, Loki didn’t protest it. Given the situation, Tony wasn’t as rough as usual.

Peter came down to the kitchen not long afterwards. 

“Sorry I pulled you in, Mr Loki, sir”

“Oh, it was just a bit of fun. I know you didn’t mean it maliciously. Still, I’d rather you didn’t do it again” 

“It was very silly of you” Tony said. “Although I must admit, it could’ve been pretty funny, if it hadn’t’ve gone wrong”

Peter turned and put the kettle on, not sure if it would be wise to say anything. 

“Here, Peter, grab the comb out of that bag for me, would you?”

Peter did as he was asked. Tony took the comb from him, gave Loki’s hair one last rub, and chucked the towel aside. 

“It’s getting pretty long again” Tony said, dragging the comb through his hair. “Best make you an appointment soon: you’ve neglected it for long enough”

Loki wasn’t really listening. He was still trying to calm his nerves, and it was taking a lot of effort. Peter came over, handing him a mug of tea.

“Peace offering?”

Loki took the mug from him. “Thank you. I already got my revenge anyway”

“What has he given you?” Tony asked, putting the comb down.

“Earl Grey”

Tony nodded approvingly. “A good choice for an apology”

“Mr Loki, can I ask you something?”

“Not now, Peter” Tony said firmly. “Right, living room, both of you”

-

Tony lit the fire and sat Loki and Peter down on the rug in front of it. He went through the shelves of board games, finally selecting snakes and ladders and plonking the box down on the rug. 

“Right, have a little game and try not to injure each other while I get tea started, ok?” Tony gave them both a quick squeeze and disappeared back into the kitchen.

Peter set the board up. 

“What colour do you want to be?” 

“I don’t mind” Loki said, moving closer to the fire. 

“Hmm. You can be green then. I’ll be red” Peter said, placing both game pieces on the starting point. “Mind if I start?”

“Be my guest”

They played quietly for quite a while, the only sounds being the clatter of the dice and the tapping of the playing pieces. Eventually Loki broke the silence.

“What did you want to ask me?”

“Huh?” Peter looked up. “Oh! Um, well, it wasn’t really a question; more an observation”

Loki looked at him, gesturing for him to continue.

Peter swallowed. “You can’t swim, can you?”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous! Of course I can swim” Loki scoffed indignantly. “I just didn’t want to swim earlier”

“Sorry, I just thought-”

“Well you thought wrong” Loki snapped, getting quite irate. “It’s your turn again”

They finished the game in silence, even though neither of them really felt like playing any more. Loki won.

“Want to play again?”

“Not especially”

“No, me neither...” Peter packed the game back into its box. “We could find something else to play. Something else to do”

“I think we’ve had enough games for one day” Loki said, lying down on his back on the rug, close to the fire. “I’m tired”

“You’ll burn yourself if you’re not careful” Peter said. Loki didn’t reply. “I’m tired too”

It had been a long day. Packing that morning felt like it had happened days ago. Peter looked at Loki for a moment. He shuddered a bit and crawled over, flopping on Loki’s chest. Loki sighed, but put his arms round the boy anyway. 

-

Tony was reluctant to disturb them when he saw them curled up together. Still, he walked over and knelt beside them, giving them a little shake. They soon woke up, whining tiredly.

“Come on you two, tea’s ready” 

Peter sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes. “I’m too tired to eat”

“Hey, I’ve been slaving over that stove so you’re both gonna appreciate my efforts, ok?” he ruffled Peter’s hair. “Come on lolly, up you get”

Loki didn’t want to move away from the fire, but he was hungry enough to give in and go out to the kitchen. He and Peter sat on the bench at the big dining table, both half-asleep. Nothing quite felt real. Tony had made one of his specialities - a pasta dish with red pepper and chorizo. It was one of Loki’s favourites, so he was quite happy settling down to it, still feeling like he was wandering through a type of dream world. 

After their very quiet meal, Loki and Peter sat back quite contentedly, leaning against each other and fighting to keep their eyes open. Tony stood up and touched Peter’s face gently.

“I think it’s bedtime for little spider-people” he said gently.

Peter nodded slowly. He wriggled round and knelt up a bit on the bench, giving Loki a quick, clumsy kiss. Loki gave him a hug in return.

“G’night, Mr Loki” he said sleepily, standing up and giving Tony a quick hug. “G’night, Mr Stark”

“Goodnight, kiddo” Tony said, giving him a gentle push towards the kitchen door. “Sleep well”

Tony turned back to Loki, who seemed a little absent. 

“I think it’s nearly bedtime for Loki’s as well” he said, giving him a hug. “You look wiped out”

“I feel it” Loki mumbled, resting his head on Tony’s chest. “It’s kinda nice” 

Tony kissed the top of his head. “Go on; you head up. I’ll just tidy up down here and then I’ll be with you”

-

Loki brushed his teeth sleepily and crawled into bed. It felt unbelievably soft, and Loki was unbelievably sleepy. He turned onto his side and grabbed his book, hoping to keep himself awake until Tony came up.

-

Tony finished up downstairs, locked up and turned the lights off. Once upstairs, he checked on Peter. Finding him fast asleep, he went to the other room.

“Kids knocked out” Tony said, closing the door. “Anyway, I was thinking - oh. Looks like you’ve gone the same way”

Loki had lost his fight with sleep. Tony smiled fondly, going over to the bed.

“Tired yourself out today, didn’t you?” Tony took the book from him, putting it on the bedside table, and pulled the covers up over him properly.

Tony changed into his nightclothes, turned the lamp on, and the big light off. He climbed into bed, cuddling up close to Loki, wrapping an arm round him and kissing his forehead.

“Goodnight sweetheart” 

*

[anonymousconfessionsofatran-blog]

Coming Out

When I was a little boy I didn’t want to be a little boy. You know those dumb kids’ birthday parties? The ones that usually have a boy theme if the kid is a boy and a girl theme if the kid is a girl. Those are so stupid. Why can’t a boy have a barbie theme party? Why can’t a girl have a cake with blue frosting? Anyways, so when I was five I had a birthday party. The theme was tractors. TRACTORS! What three year old likes tractors? What person likes tractors? So when they brought out the cake with blue frosting, I blew out the candle. Everyone asked “what did you wish for?” I obviously never told them because a) it wouldn’t come true and b) because I didn’t want all my friends and family knowing that I wished I was born a girl. So every year since then, I would wish for the same thing. I would blow out the candles and whisper “I wish I was born a girl.”

When I was seven my mom found me in my room crying. She asked me what was wrong. I didn’t tell her. I just said “Mom, If i jumped out my window and died, would I come back a girl?” In and ideal world my mother would have said something along the lines of “Do you want to be a girl because its possible”. Instead, she sent me to therapy. 

So when I was 12, I started having these feelings. Feelings for boys. I was pretty educated at 12 so I knew that they were romantic feelings. My uncle was gay so I thought to myself “Hey. Maybe I’m gay.” As time went on I started telling friends and family that I was gay. Everyone was so supportive and happy for me. For a while, I believed that that’s what I was. I thought, “finally I know the reason why I felt the way I did when I was younger.” I kept telling myself that. 

So then I was 13. I still wasn’t happy. On my thirteenth birthday, I blew out my candles and whispered, “I wish I was born a girl”. It was like I was on autopilot. I didn’t mean to think that, I just did. That night, I started doing research. I looked up “Girls that used to be boys.” I found so much: articles, videos, blogs. The best thing I found was YouTube videos, specifically Gigi Gorgeous. She had posted a video two months earlier titled, “I am Transgender” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srOsrIC9Gj8. I think I watched it a dozen times. Everything she was saying, I was feeling. That really scared me. Well fuck, now I’m a freak. I won’t have any friends. No one will talk to me. I kept it a secret for a couple months. 

Finally, I had to do something. I was with my best friend. I decided to tell her. She replied “I love you no matter what. If this is something you need to do for yourself, I’m supporting you. Your my best friend.” Those words essentially saved my life. They gave me the courage to tell my parents. On a warm April afternoon, my mom picked me up from school. I decided that today was going to be the day I tell her. We were driving and I counted to three and said “Mom, I’m transgender.” Silence. For the rest of the car ride we didn’t talk. That night she came into my room and asked me if I should tell my dad or if she should. I said I would and two minutes later he came into my room. I told him. He was looking down at his feet. He finally looked up. It kinda looked like he was crying, but I wasn’t too sure. He told me he loved me no matter what. He would support me with whatever decision I made. Eventually, my mom said the same. When I told my sisters, they were not as supportive. The first year in my transition, they would say the most awful things to me. “Your never going to look like a girl.” “People are just gonna see you as a freak.” “I don’t know why you can’t just be a boy.” “No one is going to support you.” “People are going to cross the street when they see you in public.” “Our family is having issues because you transgender.” I didn’t know how to make them understand. 

My family started seeing a therapist. She was amazing. She helped me articulate what to say to my sisters to make them understand me. They finally started coming around. To this day, its brings them to tears when they think about how they treated me. Although it was hard and it  took a very long time, I forgave them. They finally started seeing me as their sister. We’ve never been closer. I love them with all my heart, and they love me. By now, I had already told most of my friends and family. I was ready to socially transition. At my camp, we have an annual pink day. A day of acceptance and love. At the end of the day, we had a show. People sang and said speeches. My parents (they own the camp by the way) asked me to get up on stage and tell my story. So I did, in front of 400 people. I thought they would all laugh. I was wrong. I got a standing ovation. I could finally socially transition. I started putting extension’s in my short hair. I started wearing makeup and girls clothes. I was finally happy. Now I’m sure you were wanting to know the medical aspect of my transition, but I think I’ll save that for another post. Anyways, thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed hearing this story!

xoxo, Anonymous<3