#he’s crashing out

[fishysaltine]

Honestly I’ve always seen Bloodbath (or the kill Zara quest) as Illario’s final desperate attempt to be swayed form his plan. It kind of reminds me of Solas and Varric’s note of him in the beginning of the game “he just needs someone to give him a different option”

Like Illario is genuinely upset about this whole thing. He thought Lucanis was dead, and we see that he was such a chronically depressed alcoholic yapper after Lucanis’ death that even though he did give the hit, he at least regretted it or it didn’t sit well with him. (I have no doubt Zara manipulated him to some extent into it, since she has her eyes on Lucanis after the Wigmaker job anyway, but neither Zara or Illario are actually explored in game). But when Illario is taking us to the boat, he makes note of saying Catarina didn’t tell him because “I would have tried to save him.” The way he says that line is in a COMPLETELY different tone than anything else he says. It’s stern and to the point, not condescending like after Illario takes out Zara and talks down on Lucanis, telling him he’s a danger and liability.

If Illario knew Lucanis was actually alive, he probably would have killed Zara earlier. And Zara obviously KNEW THIS because she didn’t tell Illario Lucanis was ALIVE for that very reason. Illario never knew about Spite. He never planned for the Ossuary. He never meant for that to happen! Zara knew that whatever Illario and she had going on would never even be close to the bond Lucanis and Illario have, and Illario would put that over power every single time.

Almost every single time.

Because he knows what he did, and he still goes out for coffee with Lucanis and the weirdo rando that saved him. And then he tries to convince Lucanis to stay away from Zara, because he knows that Zara is capable of and how not only she can, but has hurt Lucanis. (She turned his big brother into an abomination!)

WAIT A MINUTE WHO ELSE DOES THAT? Lucanis does! Except Lucanis is more direct about it. Says that Zara might come after him. Illario tries to convince Lucanis she’s in fuckass land, get him out of the situation ENTIRELY involving Antiva, the Anntam, First Talon. Yeah, there’s probably a selfish motivation, but in Wigmaker Illario is so fucking scared Lucanis is going to essentially fling himself off a cliff, there’s a genuine “heyy can you take a holiday? Can you stop being passively suicidal for me, your little cousin? Can we stop with the ‘death is my calling’ shit?”

Of course Illario can’t just go “uhh I’ll take care of it dw bro” because to Lucanis the beef with Illario and Zara isn’t merely as personal as he (and Spites) beef with her. They really just want to protect one another and get their dues.

Illario killing Zara wasn’t so much for him. I mean she kind of played him, but whatever, it didn’t necessarily affect Illario in anyway, it was for Lucanis. A way to try and appease the guilt of something that he never intended to happen to his older brother. That’s why Illario wants to be there during Bloodbath. “It’s Crow business” aka ‘WHY ARE YOU TAKING WEIRDO RANDO 1 & 2 OVER ME? I deserve to be at your side, I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth and back, why won’t you let me anymore?’

So Illario meets Lucanis and his rando friends on the rooftop. Lucanis asks him what he’s doing there- and Illario says he wants to go. He’s so desperate to go, to prove his alliance to his big brother cousin. But that’s not all. Lucanis has been gone for a year, and then left immediately. Killing and missions, being Crow’s is one of the main ways Lucanis and Illario bond.

Illario has never felt good enough. For his grandmother, for Lucanis, for anyone. That’s why he started this mess. Zara tells him Lucanis doesn’t think he’s good enough, he never will be, until he does the most Crow thing ever and cuts him out of the family line. Then finally, maybe, when his cousin’s eyes are glassy and corpse empty, will they be filled with approval.

But Lucanis is right here (with two randos)! And Illario asks him to involve him, just looking for that smidge of approval. And Lucanis says no. Ok. Cool! Maybe he just wants you safe. Fine, whatever. But you’re capable- at least you think you are.

So you ask the damning question. “You think I’m not good enough?”

And your cousin, your big brother, simply says: “Are you?”

While surely a good natured jab from Lucanis as siblings do, had Lucanis’ answer been anything even close to praise or more concern, I think Illario would’ve been fine to step out of the way. ALL he needed was Lucanis’ mild assurance/approval. Just a ‘oh no, you’re good enough. I just don’t want you getting hurt is all’

But he doesn’t say that. He simply feeds into the very insecurity that sent Illario to selling him out, the very one that Zara told him but he never quite believed until the words came from Lucanis’ mouth. ‘You’re not good enough to stand by my side anymore.’ And potentially ‘I’ve replaced you with rando 1 & 2, I don’t need you anymore’

So then he doubles down. No more playing nice cousin or big brother little brother. If Lucanis doesn’t want Illario by his side anymore- fuck it, Illario doesn’t need him. Lucanis saying Illario isn’t good enough isn’t just a blow to his ego, or self confidence/self esteem, it’s a flat out rejection. So he takes the kill from Lucanis, and essentially tells him to get the fuck out of dodge or else, and then tries to strong arm first Talon.

Lucanis never quite gives Illario “the different option.” Illario throws their bond away not because he necessarily wants to, but because he thinks Lucanis’ threw it away first, and that he’s just folding onto a frayed rope (not even mentioning how Illario crosses out Lucanis’ name in the family line, showing how he just… almost doesn’t exist. He’s gone to Illario. Illario’s so hurt by everything he just wants Lucanis gone at this point, come hell or high water.)

Lucanis quite literally says that the only way Catarina would be proud of Illario is if he kills her, and if that extends to Lucanis, so be it.

[zeshi7]

I’m trying to draw making the poses on my own so I probably made a myriad of mistakes. Anyway if anyone could tell me how to do shadows that would be most appreciated 🙇🏻‍♀️

[owlarchivist]

what saw III did y'all watch

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

My Great Grandma who loved her babies very much

Reference that I used for the face!

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

prowl and bulkhead humanformer deisgnss

bee and ratchet

[bostoncreamdonut]

Silco is never beating the yearner allegations. LOOK AT HOW HE LOOKS AT HIM.

[wooneygoblin]

PROTECTIVE MIKE WHEELER HUH

[keksalot404]

Long day today, ey?

[s0fter-sin]

thinking about the way ghost doesn't hesitate to start killing shadows when graves betrays them but soap only takes one hostage

you can almost hear the voice in his head telling him it doesn't have to be this way; they can still talk it out

"i'm calling shepherd"

his first instinct when confronted with betrayal is to play it by the books: to go up the chain. that goes against everything we've seen him do. he bucks authority at every chance except for the one time he's confronted with the barrels of his allies' guns

he wants a peaceful resolution; for the first time we've ever seen, he doesn't want violence to be the answer. there has to be another fix, a solution that doesn't end with him killing the same men he's been working with; his friends

nothing's happened yet

it doesn't have to go this way

but ghost has been betrayed before. he knows the way this ends; either with him six feet under or his enemy

he doesn't hesitate

it's only when they knock alejandro out that soap shoots; when they spill the first blood and cross a line they can never come back from

only when ghost orders him to run and he has to cover his retreat

and somewhere along the line, between civilians’ screams and taunting voices, between his shaking breath and ghost steady in his ear, that naivety is stripped away; his trust turned to teeth that he uses to sink into throats of men he'd have given his life for

"be careful who you trust, sergeant; people you know can hurt you the most"

he's learned the price of trust

just like ghost did

but unlike ghost, he has someone to guide him through the aftermath

"good advice, It"

[aur07a]

while I don’t ship shadowvanilla I do think shadow milk would be the shittiest wingman of all time

[chamoemileclown]

imagine getting so good at life and climbing the ranks super quickly just to become god and hit an upper limit of things to accomplish after becoming immortal.

[cestacruz]

Small studies of Starscream in the Robots in Disguise 2015 design because he's literally perfect☺️☺️☺️ i want to marry him!!!

[macabresque]

"I just need to channel my inner barty crouch jr"

I repeat in my head over and over again as I have yet another meltdown over studying for exams

[emziess]

Oliver Stark as Evan "Buck" Buckley 9-1-1, S04E14

[hajihiko]

Sobriety crew gets no mercy from drunk shenanigans

[crsssie]

quiet - spencer reid x sharpshooter!reader

"Wind speed is—"

"It's windier than usual." You huff, situated at the top of the dock as you stare down through the scope. "Hotch."

"Can you get the shoulder without harming the boy?"

"It would be a gamble."

"Will you hit a major artery?"

"Guaranteed no."

"Hold fire."

You watch as Morgan tries to argue with the unsub, your fingers reaching to pull the earpiece from one side, staring as Morgan succeeds in talking him down, the boy free from his arms as you sit up and plug your earpiece back in, rolling your shoulder back as you nod at Morgan.

You sit at the police station with Reid as he finishes up the last bits of the profile.

"You know, I always wondered how it'd feel to find a victim that I actually know." You hum.

"Let's pray you never do." Hotch mumbles.

"I don't want to, but I wonder." You organize the papers in your hand, closing the tablets as Spencer stares at you.

"And if one of us ends up—"

"Don't even finish that sentence." You grumble. "The day I know a victim, I'm killing myself."

"Okay, that's not—"

"I passed my psych eval. Chill." You hold your hand out at Hotch. "Besides, I couldn't leave our boy wonder to hold up alone with geographical profiles, hm?"

"I did it alone before meeting you." He raises a brow.

"But we've gotten faster with them." Hotch nods. "Wheels up in thirty."

You lock eyes with Spencer, and you stick your tongue out.

"I'm still smarter." He huffs.

"It's alright. When the day comes, we'll see which one of us actually survive." You wrap up your bag, humming quietly as Spencer watches everyone else leave. "What's wrong?"

"Just wanted a moment." He mumbles, staring out the glass as he tilts his head down to brush noses with you. "I'll do the laundry when we get back. The wind must've been disorienting."

"Not the worst thing ever." You close your eyes, humming. "I'll cook dinner?"

"Sounds fair." He opens his eyes when Rossi walks out, straightening himself. "Come on. Let's go."